#I wish I didn’t exist
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watched
#my art#my trafficker is trying to find me#she admitted to the abuse and then proceeded to berate me with questions on how to locate me#crazy how things come to light. I knew I wasn’t insane#but this is so scary#I can never be free!#ramcoa#csa vent#she admitted to what my father did to me.#why can’t I ever know peace is beyond me#I wish I didn’t exist#she went on about making sure I don’t stray from the right path#I think she truly regrets not killing me when she had the chance#the sacrificial lamb is what I’ll always be.
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it’s really just me against the world
#i have no one to lean on#and no one understands anyways#and when i try no one cares so#i wish i didn’t exist
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#pretty sure having covid has triggered a fibro flare#safe to say#i wish i didn’t exist#will be around when i’m around#mobile ooc.#negative cw#covid cw#illness cw#tbd
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Idk if I’m a boy or a girl anymore
#vent#vent in tags#or neither tbh#idk who I want to be#it’s just easier to detransition rn and then try again later in life when I think more#but also detransitioning publicly will raise my anxiety so much I’ll be in bed for weeks#everything hurts#I’m tired and I wanna draw#oh my GOD idk who I am#maybe I don’t belong here#i wish i didn’t exist#ignore all this just late night thoughts#whatever#I’m so scared#i wish i was normal#I want so much attention but the second i get it negative i wanna never leave my room again#but my room isnt safe either#no where is safe I wish I had more friends they distract me#I feel so selfish
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i am so tired
#this time last year my mental health was finally on an upswing#in a few more months id have my big gender revelation and get to experience gender euphoria one fucking time#and now I wish I never knew that about myself#it’d be easier being confused and lost than whatever the fuck this is#I haven’t been outside in months#there is literally no reason for me to keep going like this#but wtf else am I gonna do#be MORE of a burden?#everything that used to bring me joy is just tasteless fucking ash#I thought I’d been in low points in my life before but lmao#I wish I didn’t exist
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Bonus:
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#the fairly oddparents#timmy turner#denzel crocker#aj#fop aj#fop#a new wish#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly odd parents#my art#fanart#I have plenty more ideas to draw for this au so hopefully I could get most of these done before my next semester starts#On one hand it's good that Timmy possibly didn’t become obsessed with finding his fairy godparents after witnessing firsthand what it did t#But at the same time it must sting for them to hear their former godkid outright deny your existence ngl#Also it's 5 am over here rn I really need to sleep oh god
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I’m so tired. I just really need something so good to happen soon. Please.
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Will I be lonely forever?
I feel stuck in one place
I can only ever be with me
All I have is myself
I distance myself from you
There’s no way I could ever come close
How do you find it so easy to lean on others
I wish I never had anyone
It’s far easier than this
Grief over people in the past
Thoughts dark that haven’t happened
Life is lived but never felt
Things are seen but never processed
Take me back to time where my mind wasn’t a cavern
Filled with empty thoughts
No emotion
It hurts to fall asleep
And I dream of falling through you
And places where time doesn’t feel
#thoughts#i feel ill#i want to be happy#i wish i didn’t exist#it’s so hard#please hear me out#loneliest#sadcore#wishing
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Im rewatching right now and Aemond isn’t even wrong to try and get Helena to join him on dragonback. The Greens know about the dragonseeds claiming more dragons—Ulf literally rubbed it in kings landing face, riding silver wing above the city. Aemond knows he’s going to go up against an unwinnable match that’s going to kill him. He’s right to be upset and riled up and trying to get help from his family, but it’s framed like he’s totally lost his mind and out of line for doing so? They have him grabbing at Helena and fighting with his mother and they don’t even seem concerned about the six dragons the other side has now that are fully capable of burning them and all their allies to ashes. But Alicent is upset about the burnt smallfolk like Aemond is doing crimes against humanity because it’s his new passion in life, instead of because They’re At War and Daemon isn’t co-signing the slaughter and rape of women and children in the riverlands. Innocents who would be their people!! But the greens get no reaction to that at all? Are you kidding me? The writers want to demonize Aemond and team green so bad it makes them stupid. I actually can’t stand anyone crying about the smallfolk anymore, like any of them actually care to begin with
#hotd spoilers#txt#hotd#hotd s2 spoilers#house of the dragon#alicent hightower#asoiaf#aemond targaryen#team green#I swear I wish I didn’t have to bring up daemon so much but he exists to show the hypocracy of everyone else#anti house of the dragon#anti hotd#anti ryan condal
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i just drank half a bottle of wine and i can’t stop thinking about how chuuya would’ve felt about dazai, seeing him after 4 years. like yeah this bastard betrayed you and your relationship of several years and also your whole organization with no word and no goodbye. yeah that must’ve sucked. you must hate the guy. you must be feeling angry and hurt and full of grief. but also, you’ve seen him again after four years and there is light in his eyes. last time you saw him his eyes were completely empty and he wouldn’t stop trying to kill himself. he was so obviously miserable and stuck in a cicle of constant abuse. and you’re angry at him for leaving you behind, but you’ve just seen him and you can see both his eyes, there’s a glow in them, hes gained some color in both his skin and his clothes. he has found a family that isn’t based on abuse or fear. yeah, you’re angry, you feel left, you feel hurt, but you also know that this is the best thing that could’ve happened to him, so can you blame him? it must feel strange to have such a conflict within yourself, between hating him and feeling betrayed by him but also being understanding and happy for him
#im drunk don’t listen to me#i love them#but god i wish i didn’t find out about their existence#shitpost#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#teen skk#bsd thoughts#bsd hc#bsd hcs#bungo stray dogs thoughts
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I know we collectively agree that Hiccup isn’t romantically inclined, and his getting married and having kids didn’t make sense in the epilogue, but consider: Hiccup getting married for political reasons.
It’s a marriage of alliance, which is recognized both by him and his partner, and they enter it without expectations of romantic involvement. Since they’re now married, they live in the same castle, spend time together, and Hiccup finds he really likes his spouse. They’re funny, get along with his friends, and has the same interests and values. They both probably speak multiple languages. She understands why Hiccup is so dedicated to making the Wilderwest better, and holds similar views. She’s a good politician (her job after all, was to be an ambassador). Hiccup likes spending time with them, and the feeling is mutual. They’re not in love, they have their own lives, but they’re dedicated to each other and eventually decide to raise children. They teach their kids how to train hawks and hunt with dragons, riding, history, the Languages, and all the necessary skills of their world. They’re not in love and they’re happy together.
#pushing the aromantic hiccup agenda and also the queerplatonic agenda#as much as the idea of hiccup getting married was always a little off to me it was more the romantic angle#which I why I like the idea of a marriage of alliance and a partner who understands that#and then of course the montage of them being a good team and getting along#and going ‘yeah I like this person. I think this is the person I want to spend my life with.’#also a) a lot of arranged political marriages did have the foreign spouse function as an ambassador#b) polyglot hiccup is canon and I think it would be neat if his spouse was as well. it is a marriage alliance after all.#she isn’t from the small area of berm#(actually give all the Vikings regional accents. I think it’s neat)#c) she/they because I didn’t feel firmly about the partner’s gender and the nords were pretty gender diverse#anyway I think the partner would probably be fond of the library and admire hiccup got it open way back when#get along with Fishlegs and camicazi well enough#and enjoy dramatic stories of their adventures. maybe have some of her own#also: normalize people having their own lives outside their partners. hiccup and they are happy together but also have their own friends#oh and you know hiccup would be a great dad. he loves Stoick but he would so much be the dad he wished he had growing up#are the kids bio related? are they adopted (cast off and No Names)? who knows!#I could build in my head what hiccup’s spouse is like but I’ll leave it here#they exist as we construct them#httyd#httyd books#my post#book!hiccup#hiccup the third#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#book hiccup
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i don’t know what the fuck to think or feel. heart feeling so heavy
#think i was clinging to the idea that the boys didn’t know or care about him personally and i still don’t want to think that’s the case but#if we’re being realistic they know. they have to know#and everyone in the comments preaching about how bin doesn’t know anything about p*th outside of music has to be new levels of delusional#they’re idols yeah. they’re also humans with access to the internet and we know damn well they read everything we say to them#chris is on fucking skz tiktok like. wake up#it’s like 50% the fact that it was posted in the first place that’s getting to me and 50% the ignorance and babying in the comments#i just feel like fucking shit. my anxiety hasn’t felt this bad in so long#*musings#don’t even think i’m capable of being impartial or coherent rn i just needed to get this off my chest somewhere#like it’s one thing to collab with him on a professional basis and another to post a selfie like you’re friends#wish this song didn’t exist to be so real
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Lairos Aldwir aka Rook
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#datv#da4#da veilguard#dav#my oc#lairos aldwir#I really wish there were more shorter hair options jfc#BioWare said ‘oh last game didn’t have long or Black hair options? what if that’s ALL you get this time?’#which is cool yes the technology is cool and the textures look amazing#but uhm what about a short hair option that isn’t some kind of buzz cut or mohawk#like some medium short hair or smth#BioWare the hair sucks I hate how he looks but the style I want doesn’t exist in the game
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Also fun fact yesterday night I had a dream I was talking to Tommyinnit abt like. Merch designs. He was telling me about his favorites and every single one he mentioned never existed. The only one I remember looked like this
#I really wish it existed NSNFNSNFND#nebula rambles#and no I didn’t forget red sleeves or anything it literally just looked like that#Tommyinnit#tubbo
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currently watching ‘Rapunzels Tangled Adventure’ and omg i cant get over the way Cass looks at Raps🥹🥹🥹 will be doing some fanart of them soon
(gotta finish 3 uni assignments first😭)
also a moment of appreciation for Cass in the rain
#cassandra tangled#cassunzel#rapunzels tangled adventure#tangled#tangled: the series#rapunzel#cass is so in love with raps#i wish flynn rider didn’t exist#no offence flynn#they’re just so cute#cassunzel is my favourite thing to ever exist#cassunzel is cannon in my head
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Yuma Month: Day 31: Post Game
…for the sake of the world’s happiness.
#Yuma Month 2024#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#rain code spoilers#yuma kokohead#pixeldoodles#my art#the last day…at last#you can tell I’m drained because this art is not high effort XD#but its still something and I didn’t have too many ideas#I sincerely hope to see Yuma again in the sequel if one is made#he is too complex of a character to just abandon y'know?#and I’ve grown TOO ATTACHED to him#never in my life have I been so connected and obsessed with a male fictional character before#he’s truly something else… I love him so much <3#anyway this was fun but I am pretty exhausted#I may take a short break art wise for a while ;w;#I'm still sad I missed 2 days but 29 out of 31 isn't bad for my first daily art challenge#I loved yuma too much to not try it.#anyway yay! we all did it! ...kind of lol.#I really do wish I had a better idea for this but I was too tired...#so have the post game scene horribly drawn in my style#first time drawing the pattern on yuma’s cape PROPERLY#tbh him leaving is a good way to show a finale anyway#I hope we see Yuma again... I truly do.#thank you yuma kokohead for existing 💜#and ty to my bestie Kazin for hosting this fun challenge#what a fun way to spend the month of May :3
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