#I wish I could just shake Harry and Louis and ask what they are doing

[allwaswell16]

A masterpost of Soccer Aid 2025 One Direction fics for @himynameiszayn and anyone else looking for fics inspired by Soccer Aid! (If other Soccer Aid fics get posted, I'll add to this list.)

⚽ Don't Shoot 'til He Scores by larry_hiatus / @emilarry (E, 9k)

With Louis off playing a charity football game, Harry has been tasked with a little game of his own back in his bed—he gets to touch himself, but only when Louis gets the ball.

⚽ Bids, Bets, and Bed by sunnysueee (NR, 9k)

“You pulled quite a stunt, bidding what was it- remind me?” he asked, walking to Harry as he stayed still, not sure what to do or where they would go. They were only in the front part of the house.

“£400,000”

“I know you know the number, baby, be specific,” he had rolled his eyes while he laughed, seeing how easy it was to affect Harry and his inner omega that surely was whining at him by now.

“£410,582” he finally answered loud enough for Louis to hear it as Harry knew a little bit better than to have Louis make him repeat it, and at that, feel the shame as he said it.

or possessive omega Harry Styles doesn't want anybody smelling his alpha's scent on a worn sign jersey so what better way to stop it than bid the highest amount, maybe a little too high.

⚽ You Keep His Shirt, He Keeps His Word by starryhaze / @starryhaze28 (NR, 5k)

Harry turns his face to the side, not quite looking at him. His cheeks are flushed, curls sticking to his forehead, and his breathing heavy. “You’re…” He swallows. “You’re still sweaty.”

Louis chuckles, fingers pausing at the nape of Harry’s neck. “That a problem or a preference?”

Harry groans and buries his face again, like that’ll hide how hot his skin is going. “Preference,” he mumbles.

There’s a pause where Louis stills and then Harry hears the telltale smirk in his voice. “Oh? Is that why you’ve been hiding your face like a little brat? You wanna smell me, baby?”

or the armpit kink socceraid fic

⚽ I want him - One Shot by tolovelikelarry (NR, 5k)

At Soccer Aid 2025, football-enthusiast Louis Tomlinson immediately draws the attention of suave entrepreneur Harry Styles. And Louis can’t help but be intrigued in return—there’s something about Harry’s quiet confidence that suggests he wants Louis all to himself. From the moment their hands first met, it was clear: neither was about to let the other slip away. But after that first lingering glance across the pitch, will they actually manage to find each other once the final whistle blows?

⚽ The Gods Wish They Believed In Us by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 (E, 4k)

Harry smirks, resting his hands on the mat below him and leaning backwards. “I think I know how I could encourage you to get done with your workout a bit quicker.”

Harry’s not wearing a shirt, which isn’t an uncommon occurrence. Just a tiny pair of cherry red gym shorts cling to his muscular hips. Although the term gym might be a bit generous. They’re so small they would barely be appropriate for the beach.

Not that Louis is complaining, mind you. It’s just an observation.

(Or the one where Louis is struggling to find motivation to finish his workout. Harry has an unconventional and effective way to encourage him).

⚽ Off the pitch: Into bed (no rest for the wicked) by Louis_loves_28 (E, 3k)

Tired from footy training, Louis' ready to call it a day and hit the couch.

But Harry - hot under the collar from all the pics flooding the socials of his boy in blue - has other ideas.

Sweaty strips, holding poses, troublesome cramps and no one's even talking about the footy any more...

⚽ desire defined by sunflowersue / @sunflower-sue (E, 2k)

what happens after socceraid

⚽ Oral Support by lyrasbutterfly (M, 2k)

“You said you needed some oral-” Harry laughs and shakes his head at his slip up “I mean moral support and i just wanted to take care of you” Louis huffs out a laugh “you lured me into the locker room for some head” Harry's hand moves closer up Louis’s thigh “Not just head, oral support”

Or Louis goes into the locker room to unwind from Soccer Aid and Harry gives him oral I mean moral support

⚽ they can try but they’ll never touch us by Anonymous (E, 2k)

It’s so hard for Harry to keep Louis off his mind when pictures keep dropping of his husband hot and sweaty on the field.

⚽ Very very proud by lanuali (G, 2k)

After Louis' interview during the SoccerAid 2025 weekend where he admitted to be good friends with Harry, I thought I write a little something.

⚽ Just A Taste by @berzerkshires (E, 1k)

Louis always showered before he and Harry got down & dirty. With Louis at practice for Soccer Aid, Harry planned to catch Louis when he didn't have a chance to get clean.

⚽ Just A Taste - Part 2 by @berzerkshires (E, 1k)

When Louis comes home late after getting back from Soccer Aid, he expects Harry to be sleeping but is pleasantly surprised he isn't.

⚽ I'm still very very proud of you, too. by Memory_XD (T, 1k)

Louis snaps back to reality. You’re fine. He tells himself.

Bella calls for Louis to come to her for backup, Louis runs over after finishing a quick kick warmup— he looks at the board, almost the end of the first half. And it’s 2-0.

Shit.

He does whatever he can in those next two minutes—before the timer goes off and the announcer calls halftime.

Louis sighs and begins to walk off the pitch after a talk from his coach. Nice lad, yet taking Louis off the second half really bummed him out.

Louis was about to turn the corner into the hallway leading to the dressing rooms when he heard a voice, one he certainly didn’t expect to hear.

Especially not in the first row.

He turns swiftly, “Harry??”

⚽ Blue-green colors flashin' by TPWK_Lils (NR, 561 words)

The familiar weight of his duffel bag dropped to the floor with a soft thud as he kicked off his shoes, half-laughing to himself about something Bella Ramsey had said to him after the match.

But then he heard it.

Fleetwood Mac, blaring through the house at full volume. Not just any song — Silver Springs. And not just the song.

Harry.

⚽ Radiant by larryftnoctrl / @the-larry-way (T, 270 words)

Harry calls Louis after Soccer Aid.

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- BBC Radio interview

Part 60

2016

“It’s half past 8 Wednesday morning it’s Grimmy here with you until 10am. YN YLN is here”

“Hi”

“You’ve just come off tour with Justin Bieber, how was that?”

“It was amazing. I loved being on tour with the boys so it was nice to have a taste of being solo, but still with plenty of people around”

“Before this interview I typed in on Google YN YLN…”

“Oh no” I nervously laugh dreading to hear what things are being asked about me

“And one of the most searched things is, is YN still friends with the boys from One Direction” I breathe out a sigh that this is the question being asked

“Yeah” I nod my head “I mean it’s different now, we’re doing our own things and life’s crazy for everyone, but we check in with each other. I saw Louis and Niall the other day and I’m having a catch up with Harry in a couple of days”

“Now. You posted a photo on snapchat with the caption if only you would shut up with music notes. Are you writing more music?”

“Erm yeah I’ve only wrote one song, it’s called Shut Up and I’m really excited to release it”

“When will it be out?”

“Im not sure yet we haven’t decided on a date, soon though”

“Have you got any upcoming plans? Maybe a solo tour of your own?” I shake my head

“No, no tour yet. I don’t think I’m ready for that, I’m not if I’ll ever be ready for that. Erm I have a few things in the works. I feel like Break Up Season isn’t over, I have songs I love that I wish I could have put on that album”

“You’re back in the UK for a couple of weeks and then you’re going on tour again with Justin, although not sing. I would have thought you would have wanted to stay in one place for a bit”

“No, I like to stay busy and I really do love tour life. I can’t say much because Jeff will tell me off, but all I will say is things are happening behind the scenes”

“Will Cookie be joining you?”

“Yes. I’ve quickly learned that Cookie actually likes to travel with me so no more leaving her at home with my dad or Emma”

“We’re about to play Break Up Season, but before we do and you leave it I have one more question for you”

“Ok go for it”

“Is there any artist you’d like to collaborate with?”

“Oh gosh there’s so many. I’d love to work on a song with Justin at some point. I’d also love to do a song with Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall and Zayn. Little mix, Dua Lipa, so many others”

“I’d definitely love to hear a collaboration with any of them. Hopefully one day in the future”

“For sure”

“Thank you so much YN for joining us today. This is Break Up Season”.

[hlficlibrary]

Hii, can you recommend me some innocent long fics with almost no smut?

Thank you!

Hi, anon! You're very welcome! I think I know what you mean, so hopefully these fics are what you're looking for...

forever is in your eyes by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

Harry looks fragile in the moonlight, and Louis stands there, pondering, not even sure what it is that he’s thinking of. It’s all just noise in his head, a mix of melancholy and desire, of longing for something that he doesn’t even have a name for.

He wants-

He wants love. He wants to be held and cherished and have a home. Not just a place to lay his head down at night. He wants to be loved the way that Louis had loved creating Harry. He wants his perfect man, but he wants him to be real. He wants Harry to be real-

His lips press against marble, against something cold and unforgiving, and it’s not until his hand comes up to rest against a sculpted neck that his eyes fly open and he stumbles backwards, nearly falling off the stepladder that he’d stood on.

“Jesus Christ.” He whispers, shaking his head and resisting the urge to brush the back of his hand against his lips, erase evidence that isn’t even visible to the naked eye. Harry stands there, as though nothing’s changed, and of course he does, because he’s a statue.

A statue that Louis has just kissed.

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence

“Louis,” Harry breathed happily. His smile widened as he realized he’d finally found him, and he was stood before his soulstar. This was the closest they’d been in 31 Earth years, which had felt extraordinarily long for Harry, even in his star form. He could hardly withhold his happiness at seeing him again.

“Erm, yeah,” Louis said, interrupting Harry’s thoughts with his brows furrowing and looking clearly suspicious. “And you are?”

Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

This leaves Harry to break the rules and instead of waiting for Louis to call him and join him on Earth, he crashes down on his own. Without Louis there to guide him and help him learn how to adjust to having a human body and everything associated with that, Harry has no other choice but to do the best he can.

As Harry tries to correct what has gone wrong, he finds that friendship can be a light even in the darkest night, and through those bonds even separated soulstars can find their fated path once more.

Let Our Hearts Collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo

“Liam is in a coma.” “Yeah, we can see that,” the father says, throwing his hands in the air. “God, this is the most depressing Christmas ever,” the blonde sister mutters. “His vital signs are strong,” Dr. Higgins assures them. “Brain waves are good–” “Brain waves?” the mother wails, taking Liam’s hand in hers. “Oh my God!” “How did this happen?” the father demands. “Um, he was pushed from the platform at the subway station,” Harry pipes up. The entire family turns to look at him, confused. Harry shrinks back, wishing he could have just kept his big mouth shut. “Who’s this?” the father asks, pointing at him. “Um, I’m Harry–” he starts. “He’s Liam’s fiancé!” Jade adds helpfully from where she stands by the door. Every jaw in the room drops, including Harry’s. Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. What?

When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

A While You Were Sleeping AU

[hsfan94]

New Girl

Chapter 2

Y/n had been living with the guys for about a month and getting to know them when they invited her as a plus one to their friends’ wedding. Niall and Louis had been adamant that she join them because Harry’s exe would be there.

“I just don’t understand why you lot need me to go. Can’t you just keep him away from her on your own?”

She had told Niall in the kitchen that morning that she didn’t want to go to a stranger’s wedding.

“You don’t get it. She will toy with him and flirt until she knows she can have him. The only way to deter her is to make her think he’s moved on,” Louis spoke before Niall could.

Y/n was stunned because that was the most he’d said to her so far. To be honest she wouldn’t mind pretending to be Harry’s girlfriend because he was really cute and charming but she didn’t feel like they knew each other well enough to pull this kind of thing off.

“Okay. Fine. But you’ll all owe me big time.”

That’s how she ended up here. Dressed in a dress so tight it hurt and heels that were wildly uncomfortable but it was all she could find on such short notice, and sat so close to Harry she could feel him breathe. She had her arm wrapped around his neck with a hand laced in his hair while she whispered non-sense into his ear.

“What are you doing?” He asked, as she didn’t warn him before she latched on for dear life.

“She’s looking. I’m trying to sell it.” She brought her other hand up to his cheek and began to stroke. “What happened with you two anyway? You act scared of her but helplessly in love at the same time.”

She knew it was technically none of her business but he was (more so Niall and Louis) making her do this so she wanted to know why it was so important he had ‘moved on’.

He turned to look at her. Their eyes locked and she felt her whole body react. He had the prettiest eyes she'd ever seen. He opened his mouth like he was going to respond but a female voice filled their ears before he could begin.

"Harry? Who's this?"

Y/n, getting a look at her up close, did not think this woman was on his level. She was pretty sure, just not as stunning as him.

Harry turned to look at her but kept his head close to Y/n and, shocking the hell out of her, reached up to grasp her hand that was hanging off his shoulder in his own, interlocking their fingers.

"Hello, Olivia, it's nice to see you too."

Olivia just stood straight and glared down at them.

"Well, who is she? You moved on fast yeah?" Her tone was biting.

"I'm Y/n, Harry's girlfriend," she said.

He squeezed her hand as if to thank her for inserting herself.

"I don't think eight months is particularly fast. We only just now made it official," he said.

Harry's voice was calm and collected. In fact, Y/n couldn't understand from this interaction alone what Niall and Louis were so worried about.

"I'm just surprised is all."

Olivia sized her up, gaze unmoving from her face and her arm that was enveloping Harry's neck.

"It's really nice to meet you," Y/n said, sticking her other arm out to shake Olivia's hand. She wanted to act like she wasn't bothered by the woman's rudeness.

"Yeah," Olivia said, looking at her hand then back up at her face. She turned her attention to Harry once more, "I'll see you around. Maybe we can talk at the reception? There's some stuff we should go over."

She didn't let him answer, she just turned abruptly and walked away.

"She's lovely," Y/n said, sarcasm drenching her words.

Harry laughed a deep guttural laugh and she wished she could be the cause of a laugh like that over and over again.

"Yeah, I guess she's hard to swallow. I promise she wasn't always like that."

Before Y/n could say anything else the bridal music started to play and everyone started to stand up. When her and Harry rose, her arm fell from around him and she instantly missed the contact. However, a soft gasp left her when she felt his hand find hers and intertwine their fingers once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry understood why Niall and Louis were worried but he honestly hadn’t thought about Olivia once since Y/n moved in.

He tried not to think about Y/n so much because they could never be together, it would ruin everything and she needed a place to live. He’d hate to ruin her life more than that Braden guy did. But she was everything. So effortlessly pretty and smart and funny. He’d come home from a shift at the bar he owns and she’d just be on the couch laughing at a sitcom he’s sure she’s seen a million times. And then upon noticing his presence, her whole face would light up and she’d ask if he had a good day and tell him she’d made him a plate of food and it was in the kitchen.

So yeah, the last thing he wanted to do was talk to Olivia when he could be dancing with the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and pretending just for the night they were madly in love. However, he knew if he didn’t talk to her, she would make their evening miserable. So he reluctantly excused himself from the table he and his friends had sat down at half an hour ago and made his way across the room.

“Okay, Olivia, what do you want to talk about?” He pulled the empty chair out and took a seat next to her.

“I can’t believe you brought a date when you knew I would be here,” she scoffed, “It’s like I meant nothing to you.”

Harry took a deep breath. This was the thing with Olivia. When they first started dating, everything was great, but then she started making drama out of nothing and eventually she ended it.

“Olivia, I’m not the one who ended it remember? And might I remind you, you were always the one playing games with me. You would lie and then claim I was being dramatic when I said you hurt me.”

“I just didn’t think you would move on so soon. We were together for two years.” Her tone was harsh but he also sensed a bit of sadness there.

“You don’t want me, though. You just want me to want you and that’s not healthy. I did want you, for two years and you decided that wasn’t enough. Now I’ve found someone else and you hate it and I’m sorry if brining her was uncomfortable for you, but she’s important to me and I wanted to share this experience with her.”

Olivia didn’t respond. She just stared at him with a shocked expression.

After a minute or so of uncomfortable silence he decided she was done with the conversation.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to my friends.”

He stood up and walked away from her for the last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n didn't like that Harry was still talking to Olivia. She felt protective in a way, and it was her job tonight to keep them apart, but she also felt something else stirring in her chest, something unidentifiable.

"You guys don't think I should go intervene?" She asked Niall and Louis, who were both eyeing the dance floor curiously and sipping champagne.

"No, he's a good lad honestly. He knows she would come to him if he didn't deal with it. It's better this way too, it means he's more likely telling her off than falling under her spell," said Louis, his eyes flitting over the scene a few tables away.

And as if on cue, Harry stood up right as Y/n's gaze fell back to him. He made his way back to the table and stopped right in front of her.

"Can I have this dance?"

He outstretched his hand to her and she grasped it in hers. He lead her to the dance floor and began to sway them to the music.

"How did it go? What did you talk about?" She couldn't resist asking, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"I just told her the truth. That I did love her once and it wasn't enough for her. That she wants me to want her and that's not fair. And then of course I told her that I'm happy now and she needs to try to move on too." He looked in her eyes, unwavering, as he spoke.

"Well, good." She brought her arms up to wrap around his neck, feeling like this might be her only opportunity to get this close to him. "She needs to know she doesn't get to have a monopoly on you."

His hands, having fallen from hers in her position change, came to wrap around her waist. Surprising her more, his forehead fell to hers and he pulled her in closer.

The rest of the evening was spent with her slow dancing with Harry, snacking on refreshments and surprisingly doing the Macarena with Niall and Louis, who both had far too many drinks.

Later that night, after she had showered and changed into PJs she ran into Harry in the kitchen.

He stood with his back to the entrance way, his head peering into a cabinet.

"What are you looking for?" She inquired on her way to the fridge. She pulled out her Brita filter that the guys had mocked her for being "very american" and poured herself a glass.

"I didn't get any cake at the wedding and I'm feeling a sweet tooth creeping up on me," he turned around as he spoke, "But I think Niall finished off my hidden stash of Oreos."

Closing the cabinet defeated, he came to stand across the island from her. A smile slowly creeping up her face.

"That might have actually been me. I'm sorry. But," she paused to open her secret hiding place in the kitchen, "I have these." She pulled out two Kinder Bueno bars and his eyes lit up.

"You're a lifesaver."

He took one from her and they both made their way out of the kitchen to their respective bedrooms. Just as her hand circled around her door, he spoke again.

"Thank you, for tonight. I had a really good time."

"Me too," she said.

He smiled at her and walked away.

When she laid down to go to sleep, his face invaded her mind and she knew she was in big trouble.

[theficpusher]

Marionette by Anonymous | E | 2733 Harry is a vampire on the hunt. He doesn’t know that he’s not the top of the food chain.

Just a little taste by lunarheslwt | G | 3688 “Little dove,” Louis crooned, making Harry shiver a little, affected, “you’re shaking. Do you want to bite?” Harry stilled. He knew what Louis was asking. He knew Louis probably could sense how in dire need of comfort he was. He knew Louis was offering. And yet- “No,” he whispered, even as he felt the strong urge to let his lips trace the well-known path to the spot he usually bit into, “I could hurt you.” “Harry, my darling, you haven’t hurt me once in the numerous times you’ve needed to bite. Today will be no different. You know it’ll do you good.” Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, torn. In the end, it was an offer he was too weak to resist. “So…do you want to? Little taste?” “Yeah,” Harry rasped out, “please.” Or, Harry is a vampire that comes home one night, grappling with the darkness that comes with being one. Louis offers him unwavering love, acceptance and the one thing he needs but is reluctant to ask for; permission to bite for the sake of comfort and safety seeking.

Nothing's Greater Than the Rush by therogueskimo | E | 8303 Good luck. That’s how whoever had turned him had signed off their little instruction manual, as though this was the most natural thing in the world. As though being a vampire - which Louis didn’t even know existed until he was one - was normal, something that happened every day. To survive being turned into a vampire, Louis must feed on the person he loves most. There's just one little problem: that person is his best friend, Harry, and Harry has no idea.

Liquid Gold by wabadabadaba | E | 9273 Harry’s original intention wasn’t to tease but he couldn’t stop himself. He leaned forward, dropping on his hands, and let his teeth graze Louis’ jaw. He delighted in Louis’ reaction- his breath hitched and was uneven, his body was pliant, and his eyes were already dilating. Harry moved his fangs from Louis’ jaw down to his neck, right over his jugular vein. Harry’s eyes rolled back as he smelled Louis’ blood- there was the bitter copper smell that all blood had with notes of something sweet. He applied the tiniest amount of pressure, enough for Louis to stop breathing all together, and licked the vein. He kissed it and pulled away from Louis completely. or, Louis has a biting kink and the only person he thinks can fulfill it is his vampire friend, Harry.

it's me and my plus one at the afterlife by mrsenjolras | T | 9322 It all starts because Liam Payne makes a stupid decision. Well, that’s not exactly true. Technically it starts when Louis turns 16 and becomes the Slayer, the chosen one to fight all evil forces in the world and to prevent the apocalypse, blah blah, major responsibility, saving the world, et cetera et cetera. But this time? This time Liam did something really, really dumb. [Or: Louis is the Slayer, Nick and Harry are vampires, and Liam and Niall make up the rest of the Scoobies.]

just a little rush, babe | G | 10296 “You know everything they say about Dracula? All that stuff I wrote in my paper?” Niall asks as he rips one of the glazed donuts in half. Harry hums. “It’s all bullshit. Real vampires do tomato juice cleanses and do yoga. Fuck.” Harry's a vampire who's awful at parallel parking, being scary, and being alone. He meets Niall walking home alone one night.

In This Room by thisonegoes | E | 17675 It’s his neck that first catches Zayn's eye and stops him in his tracks. A shirtless man with his back to him, his hands up in his hair, practically stumbling into the other humans dancing around him. It's a lovely neck. A Zarry Vampire AU. Happy Halloween.

Death Wish by Speechless | E | 22067 Louis hates vampires, he lives his life trying to kill as many as he can, night after night, year after year. He hates them. Then why the fuck is he kissing one? Again. “I mean it, Harry.” Louis says, into his mouth this time. “You need to get the fuck away from me.”

Scorpions et mandragores by Stria | E | 22934 Vampires were rich gents, well-versed in the unspoken rules of polite society, knowledgeable about an infinity of topics, ready to lend a hand in historiography debates. Vampires were charming, fashionable, mysterious. Vampires drank synth or donated blood, played nice with humans, didn’t bite anymore. Vampires were nice, non-threatening. What a load of bullshit. (Or, in a world where vamps have come out of the coffin, vampire Harry's tired to play nice with food, and gets obsessed with human Louis, fresh-faced and captivating.)

[tobeafangirl]

Slow Dancing In The Dark

Title: Slow Dancing In The Dark Words: 11,681 Rating: Explicit Type: Oneshot Song: Slow Dancing In The Dark - Joji

“Stop staring.” Niall said for the fifth time, and I think I can actually hear some annoyance in his voice. I really do think he is sick and tired of me and honestly? I am sick and tired of myself. “I’m not staring.” I still try to protest but who am I kidding? I am more than staring. I am burning holes into you and whoever the fuck that is on your arm. He probably smells of cheap cologne and sweat and I know you hate that. 

“What’s his name again?” And yeah, I am asking again and if anyone questions I’ll just tell them I am bad at names. It's not a lie. I'm great at remembering faces, shit at remembering names. “Jesus, H. It’s George.” Niall grumbles, brows furrowed as he stares down at his phone. I grimace. George. What kind of name is that? Twat. 

“Hello there, lads.” Louis' voice echoes in my ears and I think I hear ringing. Niall stands, gives Louis a hug, says something along the lines of “Nice to see ya, mate.” But I don't move. I just sit there, and I know I will regret it later. Sometimes, I do wish that I could be happy for Louis. He seemed to find someone he wanted to keep around. That someone just wasn’t me, and that is where things were hard to swallow. 

We were never anything serious. Toxic, really, but there was a beautiful destruction to us that was so intense it made everything worth it. Sleepless nights and endless fights, but when we expressed our love it was just as fierce, breathtaking really. I'm sure George is more safe , stable. Boring.

“Harry, this is George.” And Louis gives me a look, it says one thing: behave . I think against it momentarily but the small tiny plea in Louis' eyes makes me unfortunately change my mind. I sigh, stand and extend my hand. George takes it and gives it a firm shake. This is the first time I actually look at him. 

Shorter, closer to Louis’ height. Way too much gel in his too bright blonde hair. Basic, brown eyes. The absolute opposite of me, but that's the point, isn't it? He isn't me and maybe that is why you are so happy. “Pleasure.” I said, tight, firm, stern. Equivalent to a father meeting their daughters first boyfriend, my gaze questioning, as if making sure his intentions are pure, and if not? I'll kill him.

Then he says, “Heard a lot about you.” And he has no idea what he has done with a simple sentence. My eyes flash to Louis and I can see it, the faint blush on his cheeks. And it's not just me. Niall also has a look on his face that expresses the thought in my head. He still thinks about me.

And sure, when you're friends for years and grow together, that might be a common thing but when you've shared something so special, personal . When it is something Louis has screamed from the rooftops that it's something he wants to forget, this proved to me that Louis never will.

I bite my tongue because the amount of replies swimming in my head are dangerous and quite a bit unhinged. “I’m sure he has.” I manage to say, a tight lipped smile on my face. My eyes crinkle, but it’s not enough to make my dimples appear, and that’s how you know it’s not a true smile. 

And that was that. I could see Niall and Louis both relax a bit more as I kept my own cool. I'm not a violent person, I just have a mouth on me, a mouth Louis used to enjoy but that's neither here nor there. Casual conversation resumed, I sat back down, not really engaging but nodding and humming along as Niall updates Louis about his life. 

And my heart drops as I hear Louis respond. “That's great lad, really happy for you.” Because he does it in that soft whisper of a voice, the kind he used when he was being genuine and sincere and there was a time I thought I'd never hear it again. You could see it on my face, but only for a split second as I cleared my throat and stood once again “Loo.” Is all I say, I have to get away for a minute. 

My feet work quickly, weaving through the crowd of slightly tipsy guests. Straight to the bathroom where I promptly pressed my back firmly to the door as soon as I was inside. Coming tonight was not my idea, and suddenly I really wished I wasn't talked into it. Because I knew he’d be here, it was Louis' sister’s wedding afterall. But after years of being friends before it turned toxic , we were all close, and I knew deep down, I wouldn't miss this for the world. I would have left before the reception though, but not Niall, open bar and all. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I jumped slightly. “Fuck.” I muttered to myself, I needed to get out of my own head, get niall one more drink, and then get the fuck out of dodge. I run a hand through my hair, curls falling everywhere , like a mess. I reach in my pocket and walk to the mirror to look at myself. 

Are you okay?

The text reads and I reply without even really looking. 

No. I need to get out of here.

Then, a soft knock at the door. I close my eyes and groan. “One moment.” I say, loud enough for the person to hear but then there is another knock, louder, more urgent and at first I think to ignore it, but call it a gut instinct. “Yeah, alright.” I call out, giving myself one last look in the mirror before I sigh defeated and move to open the door.

What I don't expect to see is Louis, phone out, worried look on his face. “You good?” He speaks like he is out of breath, his eyes are scanning me head to toe and for a second I freeze. My heart was beating so loud I could hear it in my ears and it made me wonder if he could hear it too. I glance at my phone, still in my hand. Shit. Louis' name was right there, in my face, and I didn’t even realize. 

“Yeah—yeah, just—” My eyes came back up to see piercing blues that were already showing they did not believe a word I was saying. And I don't blame him, I'm a shit liar, and he knows each of my tells as if they were his own. “Long night.” I finally finish my sentence and Louis nods.

“It’s nice to see you Haz—Harry. I’ve been uh, meaning to text.” Louis started and my chest immediately swelled, tightness formed and I tried to take a deep breath but failed midway. I didn’t need this. The fake ‘we should still be friends, stay in touch’ type of monologue. 

I swallowed, barely, my throat too dry and my mind working too hard to form words that would make this conversation end. “Really, Lou, don’t worry about it, yeah?” I nodded, body moving to slip past the shorter boy, the slight brush almost being enough to make me falter. I couldn't help but wonder if there would be any protest if I did the opposite and instead of walking away, pulling Louis in. Would it end with Louis cussing me until he was red in the face? Or would he give in the clear tension that remained? What-ifs were my fucking kryptonite. 

The look on his face, the clear and distinct look of confusion. It made me think that what-ifs were his too. “Wait–” I hear Louis' voice but it's faint, as if he didn’t really want to say it and I hesitate because it's Lou, and I will always, always , hesitate. Maybe that's what got us here in the first place. 

I turn, it's not like I got too far anyway. I glance around, and besides a few guests, the hallway is mostly empty. I didn't speak, but I didn't have to, I knew me turning around was enough. “Keep your phone on you, yeah?” Louis mumbled, and it was clear he was battling with his own words. As if maybe his brain did not want him to say it, but it was out before he could stop it. I looked back down at my phone before I nodded. 

***

Waiting for you, I done fought it all night. 

My plans were completely and utterly fucked . Instead of getting Niall and running out the door like I should of. I found myself sitting back at the same table by myself, eyes on my phone. Niall had found the dance floor and I had no idea where Louis was, but I could see his date, and I could see Louis wasn't near him. I liked that. 

Then, my phone lit up and my breath hitched.

Meet me in room 11A.

My eyes widened. This was either going to end with closure, an argument, or maybe even satisfaction if I played my cards right. I stood instantly, leaving the room filled with people once again. My shoes clicked hurriedly as I looked above each door until I stopped in front of the one Louis wanted to meet. 11A. My hand grabbed the knob and I opened the door, a soft breath coming out of me.

I don't know how long Louis had been waiting, but I could tell it had been a while from the way Louis was slowly swaying to the faint thump of the music coming from the reception. His eyes were closed and he looked angelic. Even from this distance I could see the slight fanning of his lashes. God, why did he have to be so effortlessly beautiful. Me? I had to try, Louis just existed and that was so unfair. 

Maybe it was a bit creepy, but I just stared. Watching, wanting. Louis was wearing a feather gray suit that had to be tailored by the gods. Hugging every single part of him tightly, which is probably why he had lost his jacket and was now just in a black button up. He could always make the simplest things look elegant.

The sound of the door closing not only made Louis jump, but me too. Quickly whipping my head around, partly scared that someone came in after me.

“Jesus, fuck , Harry.” My eyes went back to Louis who was clutching at his heart, giving me a look that was somewhere between amusement and annoyance and yeah, I missed that look. 

“Sorry, didn’t know it would be loud.” I mumbled, hand coming to scratch the back of my neck as I winced some. I let my eyes find Louis again, taking a couple of strides forward. “You rang?” I asked, holding my phone up, a small smirk tugging at my lips as I watched Louis try to fight a small smile. He lost the battle.

“Just wanted to check in on you.” Louis said nonchalantly, but I'm not an idiot. I watch as he shifts on his feet, his brows high and his nose turned up a bit. Liar. 

“That’s it?” I asked, stepping forward again. I wasn't exactly in Louis' personal space, but I was closer than not. But he wasn't moving. I'll take that. 

He takes a breath like I've caught him and I feel a smile spread across my face. “I’ve—been thinking—” Louis started, glancing down, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as if he didn’t trust them. “About—you.”  He cleared his throat as if that sentence had been sitting there all night. 

Despite what we have been through, what we have put each other through, this is our destiny. It always has been, it always will be. No matter how much we hurt each other, we were also made for each other.

I could tell, he was floundering. As if he had words but he wasn’t too sure of the order to put them in. So I stepped in, did the only thing I could think of at the time. 

When I’m around slow dancing in the dark, don't follow me. You'll end up in my arms. 

“Want to dance with me?” I held out my hand to him and for a split second he looked at it. But that's all it took. A split second as his hand was in mine, a split second and I was being tugged closer , not flush but close enough. It's not like Louis is tiny, but I still have to tuck my chin some to look down at him.

And we started to sway. Silently to some, but loudly to us. No words, not spoken, but so much conveyed between eyes. It's how we communicate. Because our eyes have never been able to do one thing: lie. And right now Louis' eyes are reading nothing but want, and maybe mine are screaming an apology that my mouth will never have the guts to say but it was okay, because in that moment we were okay. 

“Harry…” Louis started but I tugged him closer, chest to chest now as we moved in the dimly lit room. I could see it start to form, the hesitation in his eyes and I couldn't have that. Not when I had him back in my arms. “Just focus on me.” I whisper, my hands move with confidence as I bring them around Louis, pressing on the small of his back, just to keep him close and Louis’ arms came to wrap around my neck, my eyes darkening because I can't help it, a simple touch from him drives me insane and he knows that.

Louis knows the longer we sway, the more I am never going to want this to end. Louis knows. And that is why Louis is nowhere near innocent in this because although, I will admit, I am the fire that keeps this relationship burnt to the ground, but it's not on false pretense. Louis loves this as much as I do. Loves the chase, the forbidden, the way we fit, even the way that we break. 

I move my hands to his sides where I squeeze just slightly, just enough to feel, and I know he loves it. I watch as his eyes close briefly, those soft lips parting to let out a breath and my eyes are fixated. Louis always talked about my lips. Plump, pink, inviting but he fails to notice his own irresistibility in his lips. Always so soft, skilled, a slight tinge of smoke and fuck , it was intoxicating. 

Then I felt it, so lost in looking I didn't notice his eyes had opened back up, his hand coming to my chin, lifting slightly so I could meet his gaze again. And then he speaks two words. That's all, and that's all I need. “Kiss me.” 

I will never have to be told twice. I'd like to say we embraced in a gentle, caring, and loving embrace but I would be lying. No. Our lips crashed together because one thing about us is that we can’t do sweet, and when we do it seems to never end well. 

It’s lips, tongue, and teeth from the very beginning and the noise that escaped from Louis' mouth was enough to make me shudder. I feel Louis start to tug at the buttons of my jacket and I fumble to get it off quickly. “Need you.” Were the words spoken against my lips and suddenly my trousers were feeling too tight.

I knew this was going to be quick, heated, and that’s okay because anything intimate with Louis was worth it. It didn’t matter how many other people I’ve been with. And I’ve been with my fair share. Women, men, didn’t matter. No one stood against him, and it was scary to think no one ever will. Scary to know that one day if I ever wanted anything, I’d have to settle. It was terrifying to me. 

This, however, was not the time to be thinking this way. Not when Louis fingers were getting tangled up in the button on my trousers. And that’s when I groaned, stepping forward, needing to find a wall and quick. 

Once Louis hit the wall, it was Louis' turn to groan. My lips started to trail from jaw to neck, stopping by just behind his ear, the place I know he loves to be nibbled on. It used to be my favorite thing to do when we were laid up, cuddled and sometimes even breathless from the events prior. It always made Louis go nearly feral, and this time was no exception. 

“Missed you so goddamn much, Haz.” Louis said while I practically assaulted his neck. He always tasted so sweet and faintly of his aftershave and if I could bottle up his scent I would. Make my own personal batch for me and me only. 

“Miss you all the time, Lou.” And I do and I know he knows that. What he means to me. There isn’t a day I don’t think about him. Even if it’s a hateful thought, it’s filled with Louis. Maybe I was obsessed. Maybe this was unhealthy. 

But I couldn’t think about that right now because suddenly I feel Louis' hand start to softly run back and forth over my lower abdomen and it feels so good I let out a purr . His touch burns my skin, and it only makes me want more. I was completely ruined for him, and I was perfectly content with that knowledge. 

Louis hand slips lower and without any sort of hesitation, starts to palm me through my briefs and I sink my teeth into his neck. “Fuck.” I moan against his skin. 

“Already so hard for me, you’re always ready for me aren’t you?” Louis whispered into my ear and damn did I miss that. Louis had no filter in bed, and it drove me crazy. How he so openly just says what he thinks, what he wants. It was admirable, really. 

“You have no fucking idea, Lou.” I breathed out, but I could barely hear myself due to my heartbeat in my ear drums and my breathing becoming shallow as Louis thumbs over the head of my cock through my briefs. 

Then it dawned on me. Why wasn’t I touching him? And as if my brain started to work, I rushed to get his trousers down just enough, my hands at first dipping into the back of his boxers to give his arse a firm squeeze. That damn thing should be illegal. So perfect. He knows it too, I can hear him slightly chuckle at the contact but it ends how I want it to, with a moan.

“That’s it baby.” Louis praised and I, unlike Louis, reached into his boxers and pulled his cock out. A hiss coming from him as the air hit his length and I’d drop straight to my knees right now if he asked. 

He didn’t though, and that was okay because before I could even fathom a thought Louis does the same to me. And now we’re standing here, cocks out, eyes on each other, wondering just who was going to make that first move because one stroke and there was no coming back, not at all. 

To my surprise, it was Louis. His hand started to slowly stroke me. Doing the small things I like such as squeezing at the base and swirling his thumb around the tip of me, using my precum to lubricate my cock for easier movement. My forehead crashed into his as my hand started to move as well, making sure to flick my wrist each time I got close to top. We knew each other too fucking well. 

“Faster, Harry, come on, be good for me.” Now in most scenarios I am not a submissive, but when it comes to Louis. I’d bark if he asked. I listened, my hand quickening and so was his. I felt lightheaded as if I could pass out at any minute as Louis' name left my mouth in a low moan. We knew we had to be quiet but if someone stood outside the door really really still, they could probably hear the groans, pants and soft moans that were currently echoing around them. 

“I’m close, baby, don’t wanna make a mess, yeah?” I knew exactly what he meant as the words escaped Louis and a wicked grin spread across my face. I didn’t hesitate, dropping to my knees like I wasn’t still throbbing and begging for my own attention. 

I lick a long stripe on the underside of Louis cock, teasing the tip with a nice swirl and earning a guttural moan from the man above me. Hours. I could do this for hours. In fact, it makes me let out a moan myself around him, sending shivers down his spine as bucked his hips forward, sliding the head of his cock just past my lips. And I lose all self control. 

My actions. My breathing. My brain is nothing but Louis. And every single move of mine is calculated to the moans coming from him. My pace is steady, just as he likes, Louis does not like rushed, even when he’s close like this — and by how much of my hair is being pulled out right now, he’s really fucking close. No, Louis liked precision, something I had to learn, something I was damned determined to.

“ Fuckfuckfuck.” Louis words run together and my hands squeeze his thighs as I swallow the thickness of Louis cock, my throat constricting around him and I knew I had done it. The most beautiful noises came. A strangled cry, a fist slamming against the wall behind him and a whisper of my favorite part, my name. 

My eyes squeeze shut as warmth fills my throat and I savor the taste I missed so much. Salty, like the sea but something there that was a hint of Lou and it made me dizzy. I swallowed every last drop, but before I could regain myself, I  was gripped and pulled up by my shoulders. Louis' member slipped from me and I actually whimpered at the loss. 

But then Louis was mumbling and I was desperately trying to figure out what he was saying. “Gotta taste you. Losing my fucking mind.” Is all I manage to pick up, but I’m happy with what I hear as I watch Louis drop to his knees in a hurry, and I curse under my breath because I know I’m close. Hell, I could’ve probably cum from sucking Louis off but then I would’ve missed this. And sure, I had a strong feeling I was not about to last long but I couldn’t give a damn. 

I was right. It wasn’t even a minute. In fact, as soon as I felt his lips wrap around me, my legs nearly gave out. And he knew too as he immediately took me all the way in because if there was one thing Louis knew how to do, and that was deepthroat. 

“Goddamn.” I stuttered out, and he always, always looked up at me when he had water brimming his eyes, a determination behind them and really, that’s all it took. I didn’t even give a warning, but I could feel Louis smirk at that. I came hard, body shuddering, the noise leaving my mouth sounding like something out of a porno.

With a few kitten licks and a warning grunt from me, Louis finally stood and then before I knew it, he was quickly gathering himself. I gave him a bit of a puzzled look as I slowly started to piece my own self back together. He wasn’t speaking, just moving, almost like a blur. 

“Hey.” I say, my hand coming to rest on the bend of Louis' arm, my head tilting some. My eyes held questions that my mouth was almost too scared to ask and Louis looked at me like he was just as confused but for other reasons. “What is it, Harry? I gotta get back out there.” Louis said with a rushed breath and I tried to act like those words didn’t sting. Like I wasn’t feeling like I was being brushed off like dirt. 

You done made up your mind. I don't need no more signs.

“Plans tomorrow?” I asked and this time Louis stilled, and it was as if my biggest fears were confirmed. “Harry, I’m with someone.” Louis said as his eyes came to meet mine. I wish there was a seat in here because I felt light headed, but I went to my normal defenses. I always did. I scoffed, eyes rolling, “What? That twat?” I even chuckled as I thought about it. 

Louis gave me a hard look. One that told me not to push it with him. “He’s a really great guy, Harry.” Louis told me with crossed arms. “You normally cheat on great guys?” I spat back and I regretted it almost immediately. Louis' jaw was set, clenched tight as he gave me a once over. “It was a mistake.” Louis' voice was cold as ice and his face matched and I could feel the arrogant look that was on my face. My heart didn’t put it there but my brain did. 

This. This is why we could never be. I’d rather be a complete bloody arsehole than to say my true feelings. That I was hurt. That I was just used like I was worthless. Like I was only good for one thing and then it was back to his perfect little relationship. “You know it wasn’t.” My eyes bored into Louis and I could see in his that I was right. Just a small flicker of hesitation. 

Louis let out a sigh, one of defeat. “What do you want me to say, Harry? That you’re my weakness? Because you know that. You know that’s why I'm here. You know when I saw you tonight I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my mind. And the worst part? This will stick with me. For days. And now I have to live with knowing I cheated on a great guy because I’m chasing something that’ll never be.” 

I couldn’t act like each of those words didn’t twist the dagger already sticking out of my heart. “Never happens why, Lou?” I spat back because the truth is I’ve always been willing and ready to go all in, but I have been waiting for a confirmation I knew I’d never get. “You know why.” Louis gritted out, pissed. I didn’t care, I was just as boiling as he was. “Explain it.” I retorted back and Louis rolled his eyes and muttered about how he’s ‘done this all before.’

Louis let out the most frustrated groan I think I've ever heard and he was clenching his fists at his sides. “You’re fucking impossible, you know that?” And then he is charging at me, coming face to face, as if he was something intimidating. As if I haven’t seen every side of him. 

“Then go back to your perfectly boring date, Lou. I’m not stopping you.” I say and my voice is calm, but it always is when I’m hurt, because showing any true emotion is hard for me. “Exactly.” Is all that Louis says and I know what he means. I know exactly what he means as he pushes past me, making sure to collide our shoulders. Because I let him go. I always do. Because as much as I want him to fight for us, for me. I never return the favor. 

And this time is no different. No different as I heard the doors delayed slam again. No different as I heard the clicks of Louis' slightly lifted shoes hurry down the hallway. Absolutely no different as I stood frozen, tears welled and jaw clenched. I was a coward, a coward so deeply in love that I’d rather die in sorrow than live in happiness. 

***

Three months. Three months have gone by and I lived my life like I normally did. Going to work, going out on the weekends. Trying to find a past in the present. An endless cycle if you will. Niall bugged me for about two weeks asking what happened that night, and I always responded the same way. “Nothing.” When in reality it was everything. ��

“You’re coming.” Niall says again while I smack at the air conditioning in his car. Niall had money so why the fuck was his shit always so broken. “Fix this!” I said back for the millionth time. With an exaggerated scoff and some weird combinations of hits, air started to blast in my face and I let out a sigh full of contentment. “Thank fuck.” I paused briefly, letting the air hit me as I closed my eyes before I finally responded. “I’m not going.”

“Harry — it’s Zayn. You’re going.” Niall argued again, and this is the same argument we had when it was Lottie and look where that got me. “Will he be there?” I asked and I didn’t have to specify who because Niall knew. “Well, considering we all grew up together and were mates for a really long time before you two decided to fuck that up, yes, he’ll be there.” Niall always made it a point to remind me of the rift that had been created. To remind me of how close we all used to be and because of one night, a night that sealed Louis and my fate, they were where they are now. An absolute mess. 

I remember the night as clear as day, some odd years ago — I was seventeen, Louis was nineteen and we were doing what we did every summer. Camping. With all the lads of course. Niall, Zayn, and Liam. All five of us were inseparable, and up until that night, we all thought that was our future. Best mates for life. 

At seventeen I was not out yet. I’m sure people knew, especially since once I announced the world didn’t stop how I thought it would, it in fact kept moving like I was simply stating fact and that was all. But Louis — Louis wore himself proud on his sleeve. He was full of sass and confidence and he didn’t let anyone bring him down, no matter how much they tried and trust me when I say, they did. 

I confided in him that night, after the bonfire. I asked Louis to meet me by the water and under the moonlight I told him that I was gay and when he asked me how I knew I told him the truth.

“Because when I look at you I see home and I haven’t felt that way about anyone else.” 

And that was probably one of the first and last times I ever told something so blindly true. That Louis was my home and that he would always be my home. 

We shared a kiss under the stars and talked for hours about us. Our future. The things we wanted or didn’t want. We shared stories no one knew, held hands like they were mended together and the next morning the boys knew. It was obvious, glances that were far too long, brushes against each other that were a bit too intimate, but we kept it to us, and for a while too. Nearly a whole year of stolen kisses and secret meet ups before we told the boys. It was hard to explain at first. We were together, but not. casual, yet exclusive. An enigma. We were an actual enigma.

“Listen—we don't have to stay long, but it’s an important night for him. He's finally proposing and we will stand there and smile and fight for bestman.” Niall said as I scoffed. “Liam is best man Niall, that's a no brainer.” I chimed because out of all of us, those were the only two who stayed close. Well, besides Niall and I but he's literally stuck with me so, that could be a curse for him.

Niall was my rock. The actual reason why I am still standing after Louis and I’s first ever ‘break up.’ I remember crying for days, confused and hurt about things that didn’t align or make sense. And he was there to scold me every single time I fucked up after that. Never afraid of telling me where I went wrong, or what I could’ve done differently, but mostly, I hated driving an invisible wedge between Niall and Louis but it happened, and I do blame myself for that. They were never best friends, but they were close, and due to feelings and waters that should have never been charted, Niall and Louis’s friendship hung in a limbo.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” Niall finally spoke about the best man debacle, and I chuckled at his stubbornness. I looked back out the window, my hesitation still hanging in the air. I owed it to Zayn, I did, we’d been there for each other through a lot and although Zayn didn’t really get involved with mine and Louis relationship and he was smart for that. 

“Can you promise me, no extended stay?” I asked Niall and he fidgeted a bit as he thought. One thing about Niall is that he loved getting together, loved being around mates, so him leaving once it was over never truly happened. We once went to a brunch and didn’t walk out of the restaurant until six in the afternoon. Yeah, he was mental. 

“Fine. We will make sure we have absolutely no fun.” Niall said with a sarcastic grin and I reached over to pat him on the knee. “Atta boy!” I gave him a thankful smile and he rolled his eyes. This was going to be great. 

***

You should be with him I can’t compete.

The proposal was beautiful. At least from the pictures that were being shoved in my face every minute. I was happy for Zayn, don’t get me wrong. He deserved true happiness and I was grateful he had found that. But one thing they don’t tell you about getting older is watching a lot of your friends grow up, fall in love, start families. It hits hard when you look to your side and all you have are memories. Nothing to show for them. Just loneliness. And that was hard to face. 

We were all sitting at a long table, sharing stories, laughing, having a good time when out of the corner of my eye – I saw them. Louis and George walked in a bit late, Louis was flushed and his hair was slightly messy and George kept straightening his shirt. Oh how fucking mature. At least Louis and I had decency to show up in time. Sure, we’d disappear in the bathroom for a few hours but we would never be late. 

I rolled my eyes which got me a swift kick to the shin under the table. A “Be nice.” Coming from the voice of reason himself, Niall. And then I see it. Just a hint, a slight shine. Louis held his hand out to Zayn, Zayn looked excited and all of the color drained from my face because, no.

“Niall.” I said panicking. He was in deep conversation with Amelia who was sitting next to him and didn’t hear me. “Niall!” I said a bit more urgently which caused him to look at me with a scowl on his face which quickly disappeared as he realized how pale I looked. That’s when he looks up and sees. And his face confirms it. Louis is wearing a ring. He’s wearing a ring and being congratulated. My life is over. 

“We have to go.” I didn’t give any room for argument but Niall seemed to understand. He stood, thanking Amelia for conversation as he made his way over to me because even though it wanted to leave, my feet wouldn’t move. “Mate, Harry, come on.” Niall said, quiet, reassuring, did I mention he was the best mate I could ever ask for?

I nodded as I stood, my legs felt like jello, like they were no longer a part of my body as they started to move without a hint of my permission. Like they knew what was best for me, and that was to leave. 

You looked at me like I was someone else.

Louis did notice. He in fact watched while Niall and I left, but he didn’t stop us. Didn’t try to announce to us the news. In fact, he looked at me like he didn’t even know me. And maybe I needed that. Because maybe we didn’t know each other anymore. Maybe we never truly did. 

I cried. All the way home. Niall tried to comfort me but when he realized my sobs were here to stay, he let up. Offering a comforting hand on my knee instead as he drove. My hand was over my mouth as I tried to gain my posture but it was hopeless. I was sulked into the seat, almost trying to sink into it. To disappear. And then he let it slip. Under his breath. Not meant for me. “I told him to wait.” He knew. Niall knew and he didn’t tell me. He let me find out the worst way possible. 

My head snapped up, the shock completely washing over me, stopping even my tears in their tracks. “What?” I asked, breathless and the look on Niall’s face was pure regret. “You knew? ” My voice was a bit more raised than I expected it to be, but I was hurt. 

“Louis called me a few weeks ago. Told me about it. He—he asked me to talk to you but I knew how you’d react. I asked him to wait but—“ Niall was tripping over his own words which was not like him at all. He was nervous. He knew he messed up. “You should have told me, Niall.” I felt like an imbecile. An absolute idiot for holding onto something so dead. 

It was silent for a moment. My tears had stopped, sadness replaced with something a bit more dark. “Hey, uh, why don’t we go back to mine. Food on me, yeah?” Niall offered, trying to lighten the mood. To right his wrong. But I was stubborn and quite frankly, over it. I wanted to be alone. Needed it, actually. “Just take me home.”

***

Four. Seven. Nine. I was not sure how many shots I took, but I don’t think I made it to double digits. I was definitely feeling it though. My tongue felt too big for my mouth and my head was getting too heavy to hold up. I was destroyed. And I did something I should have never done. 

I opened up a locked photo album on my phone. It was at the very bottom of my albums, tucked so I couldn’t see it. A single blue heart was the name and it was filled with things the world could never see. Happy moments. Intimate moments. A glimpse of what was, and a reminder of what would never be. 

I cried as I looked through old memories, times I would never get back. I thought fondly of our first trip together, how Louis forgot his bag and had to wear my clothes. The way they swallowed him whole, but he still wore a smile because they smelled like me and he liked that. 

Or even the first time we slept together. No video evidence, that didn’t start happening until later on but we took a photo. A single photo of bare chested guys, sheets covering the rest of our naked bodies but those sheets hung so low it left little to the imagination. 

I was lying in Louis arms, his draped over me in a way that I remember being comforting and warm. Something I haven’t felt in ages. The smile on my face was small, tired but so genuine it hurt to look at it. But that’s not even the part that got to me, no. It was Louis. He was taking the picture on my phone but his eyes weren’t directed to the camera. They were directed toward me and for a second I saw love in them. A soft and gentle love, but one that would haunt me. 

I couldn’t do this anymore. I closed my phone, chucking it to the side. I checked the time, it was late, closer to midnight than not but my mind was a wreck. There was no way I would be getting any type of rest. Not tonight. 

I stood. Paced. Argued with horrible ideas going through my mind. Still argued with them as I grabbed my wallet. Practically mentally screamed at them as I exited my flat. And finally succumbed to my inevitable outcome. My feet knew where they were going as my mind silently fell to defeat. 

Used to be the one to hold you when you fall. I don’t fuck with your tone. I don’t wanna go home. Can it be one night?

There I stood. Looking at a house I haven’t been to in years. It looked different and the same all at once. The garden was kept up, roses planted. It just needed a white fence and it would be the dream home. I remember when Louis bought it. We all made fun of him when he did, but Louis claimed that we’d all be envious when we couldn’t afford one in a few years. Of course, he was right. 

Suddenly, the porch light came on and I stood frozen. I knew I should move. Should sprint down the sidewalk or even hide in the bushes but I didn’t because there was a part of me that wanted answers. Needed answers. 

Louis came out on the porch, no longer in a suit but just his normal attire, it didn't matter, he still looked like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen “Harry?” I heard but it was faint, like he couldn’t believe I was here and really, I wouldn’t either. 

“H-hey.” Hey? That’s all I had? It was like the alcohol was speaking. A soft slur in my voice. And Louis' eyes narrowed because he could tell. “ Jesus, Harry, how much did you drink?” Louis asked, his voice was conflicting. Annoyed and yet concerned. And it made my heart flutter. Louis took a few steps off the porch, down the path some. Closer to me but not close enough. 

“Just a few shots, not much.” I tried to play it nonchalantly, but my eyes were bloodshot and I was fidgeting with my shirt like it was there to protect me or something. I opened up my mouth to say something but Louis beat me to it. “You should go, Harry.” 

My heart sank but I didn’t move. For the first time I stood there. Not walking away but facing one of my biggest fears and if it didn’t go well? I’ll blame the alcohol for my sudden change of character. “Don’t ask me to go.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper and Louis and I took a step at the same time, closing the distance between us a bit more. 

“Harry.” Louis started but there was a small look on his face, one that was hesitant, as if maybe he truly didn’t want me to go, so I did what I’ve never done. I pleaded. “No, Lou, please hear me out.” And he took a step closer to me. His arms crossed firm but his face was so soft. 

“I’m engaged.” It was as if that statement was for Louis and not me. Like he was reminding himself that there was a man inside the house behind him, probably asleep, or wondering where Louis was, maybe even watching from a window but I could care less about that. Then, I said exactly what I was thinking. “And it should be to me.” My voice was vulnerable, gentle but so honest that it not only scared me but Louis as well, I could see it written on his face. He wasn’t expecting this. 

“Do you even hear yourself or are you too drunk to notice what you’re saying to me.” And Louis' voice faltered. He was trying to be so hard, stubborn, loud in a way that was still quiet to not bring attention and all I could think was, I got him. That simple falter was enough for me to know to push forward. To finally stand for what I wanted. “It’s always been us and you know it.” My voice was firm and that wasn’t like me. 

I saw something flash in Louis' eyes. Panic, maybe? Like he couldn’t believe what I just said. Maybe he was trying to figure out if I was lying? We both knew I wasn’t. “And maybe that’s the issue! It can’t be us anymore, Harry. I’ve got to move on.” There was a plea in Louis' voice. Slightly hidden but there but it felt different, not a plea for me to leave, and that gave me even more hope. 

I pushed, “You mean live a lie?” My voice was softer now, Louis had gotten closer and I hadn’t even realized it. Or maybe I did and I didn’t want to bring attention to it. We were super close, but now there was only about six feet between us. 

“Exactly! Get it through your head that I would rather live a lie than be with you!” He spat, and I knew he was just trying to hurt me. To say what he knew would make me walk away, but again, I stood firm. “You don’t mean that.” I said confidently and I knew he didn’t. No matter how much he fought. I knew the care we had for each other would never fade. Not entirely. 

“Don’t I? This is the worst thing that has ever happened to the both of us.” Louis gestured between us, just to add emphasis, just to let me know I was also included in that equation but he was wrong, so wrong. And I let him know that, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Lou, and yeah I’ve been a fucking moron and I haven’t communicated that but please . I’m begging you not to marry him.” The words gushed from me like vomit, unstoppable and fast. Full of unabashed vulnerability. 

And Louis didn’t say anything. He stood, arms that were just crossed falling to his sides. He looked at me and the love in his eyes hurt. I’ve done a lot of things in my past but silencing Louis Tomlinson like that was not one of them. He just stared, so I continued. “I’ve always wanted to be your boyfriend Louis. I’ve just been scared and I’ve used everything as an excuse. Especially after—“ I couldn’t even bring myself to say it. The reason things were so rocky. The reason for all the denial and betrayal.

“Ollie.” Louis said. Soft and slow. A name I never wanted to hear again in my life. A name that had sworn me off anyone in this world named Oliver. “Yeah, Ollie.” I sighed as I repeated the name. It only caused me to scowl. I’ve never been able to fully forgive and I’ve certainly not forgot. 

Louis let out a sigh of frustration but there was no longer a trace of animosity in his voice. Just honesty. “I didn’t know what to do, Harry. You were so adamant to keep us a secret and it hurt me so I—“ I cut Louis off before he could finish his sentence. “Cheated.” I said softly, feel my eyes start to burn but no real tears gathered. I wouldn’t let them. 

Then, a soft denial let Louis. One filled with doubt.“We weren’t together.” He tried to state, but I was not having that. The nonchalant excuse that was always used between us. That we were never together so certain things shouldn’t matter, but that was not the reality of things. “Weren’t we? We spent every moment together in public and private. Yeah, I was young , closeted and in love. I panicked more than not but I never thought you’d do that to me. Ever.”

Louis' breathing became a bit shallow. He was floundering and I could tell. He glanced, looking away from me for the first time since he had walked out onto that porch. “We talked. I apologized, you accepted.” There was weakness in his voice, and I knew this was not going to be an easy conversation, but it had started and I was sure I was going to finish it. Whatever it took.

I took a deep breath, I was starting to sober up. Still slightly warm from the alcohol, but this conversation was making me cold, like a wake up call.  “Yeah because I didn’t want to lose you and instead I lost myself. I couldn’t trust you after that Lou, you fucking broke my heart and I had to grin and bare it.” The next words from Louis stung, slightly, but I could still feel the pain shooting straight to my heart.“You didn’t have to.” And maybe Louis had a point, maybe he was right but he wasn’t seeing my truth in the situation. 

I let out a frustrated sigh, my head tilting back as I did so. For a sigh, it felt like it rumbled in the air,  because I could feel it deep in my chest. I brought my eyes back to Louis and the emotions that I held in them were screaming at the top of their lungs. “Don’t you get it you idiot? Of course I had to. I am in love with you. I’d do anything to be with you.” This seemed to stir something inside Louis, as if I just confessed something he didn’t know. As if he had no idea that I loved him when the whole world could see it. 

“But I was committed after Harry, I fucked up once but after—you changed.” There it was, that full vulnerability I had been looking for coming straight out of Louis’ mouth. He wasn’t wrong. I changed after that, and I knew exactly why. Now my voice was pleading, apologetic, almost hoarse with emotion. “Of course I did Lou! And for being too scared to talk to you, I’m sorry, we both fucked up big time. But we never talked, we just tried to push through and we never should have done that.”

For the first time ever, I was honest. About my feelings, about where I went wrong, where he went wrong. How we were both to blame and both idiots for not seeing just how much we cared about each other. We let things get between us, things that never should have. I stared at Louis, but he stared back. 

Then, something happened, and it was not something I expected. Louis actually inched closer. “Then let’s talk.” 

***

I am not sure how we got here. Well, I do, but I'm still in shock about it. After Louis proposed we talk, he turned on his heels, walked into his house and came out with his car keys. Next thing I knew, I was in the passenger seat, stealing glances toward Louis whenever I could as he had a determined look on his face to get to our destination. A little diner that was just as you entered into town, 24-hours, and perfect for someone who had been drinking.

The car ride was silent as expected, it was also silent as we walked into the diner, silence only breaking when we politely ordered with the waitress and then it was like a blanket all over again. Silence. I was the first to speak, I felt like I had to in order to get the conversation going in the direction I wanted, no, needed. 

“I’m sorry.” The words fell from my lips, soft but not unsure. Louis looked up with me without missing a beat. “You’ve said that a lot.” He commented, but the truth was I haven’t. In fact, I personally felt like I’ve never said it. Not like this, not at the point of desperation and truth. 

My fingers were visibly fidgeting together on the table. My heart was simultaneously pounding and breaking all at once. The last fuzzy bit in his brain disappearing into worry. What if he had made a mistake? “I’ll be saying it the rest of my life, Lou.” And I had never meant something so much before. I would be. I knew that for the rest of my life I would be filled with apologetic regret, like I had lost a part of me. 

There was a pause. One beat, two beats, we maybe it to about four until Louis opened his mouth. He closed it immediately, and then to my surprise, very softly I heard Louis say: “I’m sorry too.” And my world slowed. This was the communication we had been missing, the conversation we had been avoiding and I was ready to pour everything out. 

“I never should’ve held that against you.” My voice was now officially a whisper, as if I were to say it too loud Louis would vanish and maybe that didn’t make sense to some, but this relationship was so fragile, everything felt like it had to be calculated. But then Louis said: “I understand why you did.” That made my eyes shoot up to look directly into Louis, my head tilting some at his understanding but I knew that was not enough so, I explained myself.

“I was so hurt and I let it out weigh everything and whenever we got back to being that close again. I pushed you away.” I admitted, the truth spilling from me but I found it so freeing. To speak what had been on my mind for years, to highlight what I did, the meaning behind it all. 

Louis let out a noise, one of regret and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him because those crystal blues were saying so much to me right now. “You weren’t ready to come out and I held that against you, but instead of trying to understand why I—I thought you were ashamed of me.” Louis admitted his own feelings and suddenly everything clicked. Like magic. I sat still, eyes roamed his, my thoughts wandering how I had never picked up on that.

I sprinted, my mouth moving faster than it ever had, and if you knew me, that was something like a miracle. “Louis. I was never ashamed of you. I was ashamed of myself for not being able to be like you. So careless and free. Like there was this part of me I had to hide. I was warring with my own mind Lou, it was never you. You gave me reason to come out and be me.”  I could feel it, the shine in my eyes from the tears that threatened to fall. Clarity filling my voice, the truth shining like the brightest star. I was scared, nervous, even after I came out, the world was not easy for me like it was for Lou. I wouldn’t say I resented him for that, but I was envious of what he had. 

Louis let out a sigh that was a mix between pain and amusement. “What’s wrong?” I asked softly, thinking it was something I said, or maybe something I didn’t say but Louis just shook his head, his face turning more amused now while mine took on the role of confusion. 

“The fact we wouldn’t be where we are if one of us just opened our mouth.” I sat there with that for a moment, mulling over what Louis said, the sincerity behind it. It was crazy to look at it that way, so simple, so easy to fix, it almost made me forget how to breathe. 

Instead, a smile started to spread across my face. I was not sure how Louis felt, not at that moment. I couldn’t read him because I was trying to read myself, but I felt like we were…back, in a sense. Then, I spoke without thinking, letting the words flow right from me. “Well, to be fair your mouth was usually full of my cock so,” I gave a small shrug. Okay, maybe I was still feeling the alcohol a bit but then I heard Louis laugh. And if you’ve never heard him laugh, like genuinely, it was a sound that came from a place of pure bliss. 

“I missed you.” Louis whispered and my whole world stopped because what if it’s not too late. What if us two idiots could work it out. What if there was still hope? A million questions were swimming in my head and I didn't know how to ask them but I did know one thing. “I’ve missed you too, Lou, so fucking much.” 

That was all it took, both of our eyes said so much to each other, that we both knew to get up. We both knew we had to leave. Louis left money on the table for food that was long forgotten. It was like we were there for a second and gone with a blink, but when we left, we were different people from when we walked in. 

We barely made it to the car before Louis' lips were on mine but this kiss was different. We hadn't kissed like this in years. So much emotion, so many private words being exchanged with quick moving lips. And we didn’t care that we were in public, that his car was parked at a somewhat busy diner with people passing by barely tinted windows. 

And just to make my heart stop beating, Louis whispered directly into me. Like he wanted to nail his confession to me, to make sure I heard him loud and clear as the words vibrated through my entire body. “I love you.” Words I had never really heard before, not from him. A man who used to use sentences like ‘I care for you’ and ��You’re important to me’ actually finally said the words we had been too afraid to say aloud.

“I love you too.” There was not a single doubt in my mind, no reason to lie. I was absolutely in love with the man sitting next to me. Absolutely obsessed with everything about him, and I would do anything to keep him, forever. 

Louis pulled himself back slightly, but I could already see the slight darkening of his eyes. I knew what that meant because my eyes mimicked his. I don’t think I have ever needed someone so bad in my life. It was like my body ached for him in ways that could only be described as obscene yet necessary. “Can we go to yours?” Fuck. I just about threw him in the backseat with that question alone but I could tell this was different. Louis' voice slightly faltered, he was asking for a lot more than a one night stand, and I had never felt happier in my life. “Yes, please.” I responded and with fond eyes and another quick, small, near chaste kiss, Louis turned his attention to getting us to our destination, and fast.

I felt like an absolutely giddy school girl in the passenger seat. Maybe it was the way Louis kept glancing over at me with that grin on his face. Or the fact that Louis was holding onto my hand like his life depended on it. 

When we pulled up to mine, I placed my free hand on top of Louis that was holding my other. “Are you sure about this? Louis, I’m not going to be able to let you go. Not again.” And Louis gave me a look that spoke louder than his words as he said. “I’m sure.” 

You would think we would have been all over each other as we walked into my flat, but we weren’t. Because this wasn’t a quick fuck, it was more than that. We held hands and sure we shared a few kisses as I fumbled with the lock on my door but it wasn’t rushed. It was sweet, caring and we shared soft chuckles during them. 

We were quiet as we ignored the living room, silent as we walked into the bedroom. And breathless as the door closed and our lips met. Again, not rushed. Slow, enough to make me groan and tremble with immense need. “I’ve got you baby.” Louis spoke straight into my mouth, his voice a murmur as his hands started to roam . 

And I was letting out noises that were a mix between whimpering and whining. My hands grasped at the fabric of Louis' shirt as his tongue licked into my mouth. He tasted me like he never had before. Soft licks that brushed my tongue but also grazing different areas of my mouth until he left no part untouched. 

Louis blunt nails scratched up my back, lifting my shirt with it and I had forgotten how he could make everything feel like fire. A burn that I craved, one that I needed. “Lou—“ I started but I was shushed, my shirt being discarded. “Let me take care of you, then I want you inside of me.”

My body stilled, shuddered and melted all at once. “You sure?” I asked softly. It’s not like Louis hadn’t bottomed before, but it was a rarity I used to complain about. “Mhm, been too long.” My brows furrowed some, but it was getting hard to concentrate with each passing second. Louis' lips were now kissing down my jaw, down to the spot on my neck that made me become breathless. 

As if sensing my confusion, Louis clarified. “George doesn’t like to top.” He murmured against my skin as he slowly licked and worked over my collar bone. “My poor baby.” I said through soft ragged breaths. Louis chuckled. I smirked. I’m in fucking love with him. 

I looked down as Louis finally made it to his knees. There were little marks covering my body, reminders, memories. Louis was perfect. This was perfect. We were finally perfect. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Lou.” My thumb came down to stroke his cheek as he actually looked up bashfully. Like we hadn’t been in this position before and it made me fall even more in love with him. “Shut up and get your cock out before I blush myself to death.” Louis acted like he was annoyed, and I let out a low chuckle that was filled with desire I didn’t even know I possessed and that did something to Louis because I could no longer see blue eyes. 

He nearly ripped my jeans off, I barely took a breath before I was in a pool of denim and cotton. And Louis was on me. His tongue licking a stripe up my already fattening cock, his tongue swirling around the tip of me just as I liked before he plunged down, taking me all in. My head fell back and I was unsure of the noise that left me. I nearly toppled over, if it wasn’t for Louis gripping my thighs and holding me in place, I would have been in a mess on the floor. 

“Bloody hell..” I gasped out, my fingers tangling in short locks as Louis bobbed his head slowly around me, taking his time until I was fully erect and ready for him. He pulled off with a soft pop, lips covered with saliva, swollen, absolutely pretty. 

“I need you.” Louis rasped out and I panicked. “Shit. Yeah, on the bed, baby. On your back. Want to see you.” I was trying not to trip out of my pooling clothes as I watched Louis quickly undress and then he was laying on the bed, and I was steadily climbing on top of him. 

Louis was a sight. A piece of art. God broke every single mold when he made Louis, just to make him nothing but perfect. I cupped his cheek and shared a fond smile with him, one he gave back to me. 

This moment was unlike any other we had shared. No longer were we the teens we used to be, or even our twenties. We were two grown men who actually knew what they wanted for what felt like the first time in their lives. And my heart almost couldn’t take it. 

“What are you thinking?” Louis brought me out of my thoughts. “How lucky I am.” I respond and Louis chuckles but it’s almost a giggle and that makes my cheeks flush. “You’re looking at me like I’m the only guy in the world.” Louis accused me and I nodded with conviction. “You are Louis. And I am going to make sure I show you everyday.”

“Yeah? Start by fucking me nice and proper.” Louis practically demanded and who am I kidding? I could never say no to him. I reached to the nightstand, getting out the lube and coating it onto my fingers, ready to get Louis nice and ready for me but he grabbed my hand before I could do anything. “No fingers. Just you. I can handle it, promise.” 

A low growl released from the back of my throat and I used my lube covered fingers to coat Louis entrance and to slick myself up some before I lined myself up, my eyes locking with Louis, his eyes pleading in a way I’ve never seen before and I nearly exploded then and there. 

Slowly, I entered Louis, my eyes watering as I strained to keep my eyes open. The feeling is already rippling through my body too much. It didn’t help watching how Louis' eyes became half lidded, his mouth hanging open a low groan escaping him. How his hands came to grip the flesh of my waist and his legs wrapped around me, causing me to sink deeper into him. Something that made us both moan in pleasure as I was fully seated in Louis. 

I gave Louis a moment to adjust, but neither of us could wait too long. I started at a slow and steady pace, soft curses and moans started to leave Louis' mouth immediately and each expression that crossed his face fueled me further. His blunt nails raked up the front of my chest, causing me to hiss with a mixture of pleasure and pain, my hips picking up the pace, needing to pull more of those noises from Louis.

“Fuck, Harry.” Louis moaned out. So pretty. So loud. And I shifted the exact way I knew I needed to, each thrust now promptly hitting the spot that Louis went feral for and the high pitched moan I got from that tiny change caused my hips to move faster, snapping against the older males now as our moans mixed and mingled with each other. 

“Forgot how perfect you feel.” I said breathlessly, my thrusts were deeper, harder and Louis could barely keep his eyes open, his head lolling with each movement. “Like you were made for me.” 

Then like a sympathy, Louis moans got louder, shorter and more urgent, my name getting mixed in with his moans. And I could just about see stars. “Don’t stop, you’re gonna make me cum.” And that drove me forward. Erratic hips met compliant, rushed breaths left me and like my life depended on it and then the most beautiful thing I could ever see. 

Louis back arched, a cry leaving him and I kept my eyes open to make sure I saw it all. His nails dug into my skin, marks I’ll proudly wear. Hot ropes landed on Louis' chest and stomach and I leaned down at that moment of peak and crashed my lips into his, as a loud groan fell straight from my mouth and into his. My own release crashing into me as I buried myself deep into Louis, holding our bodies together as if we were molding into one. My head came down to fall against Louis' shoulder. 

And just in Louis fashion, he started to run his fingers through my hair and gently trace random patterns on my back. Our breaths ragged and loud in the room but I was slowly starting to come down, Louis reaching a more calm state before me. “You’re incredible.” He whispered to me and I chuckled. Slowly, and nearly reluctantly, I found myself shifting until I was lying on my back beside Louis and he was cleaning himself off with a convenient tissue from the box on my nightstand. 

“Come here, I wanna be little spoon.” My voice was weak, hoarse and the sound seemed to make Louis smile mischievously. Then, I felt strong warm arms pull me into an embrace that I missed. That I craved for so long. Louis' face was in the crook of my neck and he was slowly running his hand over my chest. “I’m happy we’re here.” Louis’ voice was soft and caring in my ear and I shivered. 

“Me too.” I replied near instantly, because there was no hesitation between us anymore. “I don’t want to lose you Lou.” I whispered, “Not again.” And there was a determination in my voice I didn’t know I possessed. Louis gripped me tighter and my heart started to beat louder, faster. “You won’t.” And with a firm kiss to my shoulder. It felt like a promise. It felt like forever.

[didhewinkback]

I loved the new blurbs 🥺. Made me think of how did YN react to listening to Harry's albums. Or do they have a special traditions for the first listen to each album since his 1D days? Was she there for the ONOs?

omg hi sweet angel this has been in my inbox for weeks and as an apology i wrote u a novel i wish i was kidding

the first time happened when you were 17, hanging out in his massive flat he shared with Louis, the two of you looking at each other in disbelief every so often because "not even Gemma has her own flat" when he disappeared for a second, coming back with a mischievous glint in his eye, holding something behind his back.

"Wanna do something illegal?" he asked and your brow crinkled in confusion when he revealed the ipod he was holding, your eyes darting from the ipod to the look on his face, his eyebrows wiggling, a mix of nerves and excitement on his face.

"Oh my god," you said, hopping off the couch when realization dawned on you. "Is the single on there?"

"Yeah, 'm definitely not allowed to do this but 've been dying to know what you think so I don't really give a shit," he says, laughing when you squeal. He grabs your wrist and pulls you back to the couch, sitting next to you as he untangles the headphones, handing you an earbud. You find yourself too excited to hear the music to pay much attention to the sparks that zing through you when your hands brush. He takes a deep breath, thumb hovering over the play button, eyes rushing over your face before you just about burst. 

“Oh my god play it -” you say, reaching for the ipod as he giggles, pressing play and you freeze, as the first few notes start to play, gasping when his verse comes in after Liam’s, hands coming up to cover your mouth before he quickly pulls at your wrists.

“No, don’t - want to see your face” he says, and you can’t look right at him, focusing on the music instead of his eyes burning a hole in the side of your head, feeling a blush take over your face but you’re too into the song to care, feeling like you can’t catch your breath. 

It’s good, like one of those pop songs that will never leave your head. It’s bright, it’s fun, and he sounds great on it, they all do. You can’t stop the wide smile growing on your face as you bop along, feeling like you could burst with pride. This isn’t an 80s x factor cover, it’s theirs, it’s his and it’s going to be massive.

The song ends and you look over at him, the tentative look on his face like he doesn’t already know exactly how you feel about it, can’t see it written all over your face.

“You like it?”

“It’s so good. It’s so bloody catchy and you sound amazing.” you say breathlessly and he huffs a laugh, shaking his head a bit as a blush grows on his cheeks. “I think it’s going to be massive.”

“Does it make me a huge dick to say I think so too?”

“Yes” you say without hesitation and he tilts his head back, roaring with laughter and you’re helpless to do anything but join in. 

“Play it again,” you say, once your laughter dies down, the two of you wiping tears from your eyes and he smiles at you, big and radiant and presses play.

That’s your best mate and he’s going to be on the bloody radio, he’s going to be bigger than radio, they’re going to be everywhere, the song too catchy to deny them that level of success, of fame. Everything’s going to change but right now, you can’t bring yourself to think about all the negatives, only how exciting it is to watch the person you love most be on the precipice of having all their dreams come true. 

It becomes a tradition from then on, no matter where the world takes him, he always finds a way to you a few months before the album comes out, the ipod sometimes just sound files on his phone, cheeky smirk on his face as he asks “Wanna do something illegal?”. Sometimes you’re even let into the recording process, though you don’t care to spend too much time with the 30 year olds he writes songs with. He sits quietly while you listen to the full albums then demands you list your favorites, smile breaking through in 2013 when you immediately list “Happily”, smile transforming his face as he, absolutely chuffed, tells you “I wrote that one” to which you immediately punch him, wondering why he didn’t tell you, what he would’ve done if you said you hated it and he just shrugged and said completely deadpan “Would’ve cried.” 

His schedule ramps up in the years that follow, becoming much more draining, the bags under his eyes darker than usual but he still finds time to text you from across the world, “Wanna do something illegal?” and you quickly run into a private study room to answer his facetime as he plays you his favorite tracks, the ones he’s most proud of, his eyes never leaving your face. 

In early 2017, he shows up unannounced on your doorstep, nervously spinning his keys in his hand, adjusting the cap on his head as he asks if you want to go for a long drive. You’re about an hour in, the city far in your rearview,  talking about everything and nothing when he turns the radio down with shaky hands, clearing his throat before he says: 

“Wanna do something illegal?” 

“Are you serious?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, heart thundering in your chest. “The first single or -?”

“The whole thing. Need y’ to be one of the first to hear all of it.” he says, looking the most nervous he ever has during one of these. “It’s - ‘s different than the stuff I made with the boys ‘nd I need -”

“Oh my god, just play it!!!” you say.

He refuses to pull off the winding road, no one around for miles, claiming he’s too nervous to sit there and just stare at your reaction so he presses play, eyes constantly darting over to look at you. 

You’re overwhelmed, emotions swirling through you as his voice comes through the speakers, sounded stronger than ever before, more emotional, more grown up, more everything. You reach out to clutch his bicep when he starts hitting the high notes at the end of sign of the times, neither of you acknowledging the fact that you don’t let go until several songs later, the look on his face as you rave in your debrief making you feel like you’re on fire. 

It’s far different the next time, you’re different, your friendship is different, more distance between you than ever before as you try your best to make yourself forget these feelings you’ve felt for him since you were fifteen because he was engaged now and they would never be reciprocated. Despite your best efforts, you still felt your stomach sink in disappointment when instead of his usual text you get an evite to an album listening party with his family and mates, no longer a tradition the two of you can have solo, not when he’s got a fiance he’s singing about. 

You seriously consider skipping out, knowing it will cause you more pain than anything else but even despite all this distance and weirdness between you, you still show up, not ready to give up on tradition even though this is different than usual years,  opting to hang around his family, making small talk conversation with him when you cross his path, despite his best efforts to engage you in more. At one point, he lets out a deep huff of frustration and grabs you by the elbow, pulling you off to the far corner of the studio. 

“‘M sorry this isn’t - ,” he starts to say before Jeff takes command of the room, inviting everyone to take their seats. You offer him a small smile and take your seat next to Gemma, doing your best to maintain a game face once the album starts to play, trying not to let anyone see how much your heart is breaking, feeling every time his eyes land on your face but not daring to look up, not trusting what you would do if you looked over to see him with an arm around her waist, her hands clasped onto his forearm, massive diamond ring gleaming in the light. 

Once the final song plays you’re out of there, saying quick goodbyes as you head out, not able to stay for a debrief, not willing to talk about those songs, how they’re the best he’s ever done, how it doesn’t matter much that you think that, how they’ll never be about you. Feeling like your pathetic twenty year old self again, barely able to see straight as you beeline for the tube, not stopping for a second, completely missing the way his voice called after you. If he can break tradition, so can you. He’s got a room full of people who love him, he doesn’t need you. 

A year and a half later, you’re woken up with a soft shake and kisses on your cheek. 

“Baby” you hear as you blink yourself away, trying to reorient yourself in the surroundings. “Sorry to wake you, know it’s late -”

“What time is it?” you slur out, still halfway between asleep and awake.

“Half past one,” he says, laughing when you grunt and try to roll over. “I know baby but do y’-”

He takes a deep breath, kissing your cheek as he rubs his arms down your sides, you can feel the mattress sink from where he sits down next to you. 

“Wanna do something illegal?” he asks and your eyes shoot open as he huffs a laugh against your skin. 

“You’re serious?” you ask, “It’s done?” 

He nods, tired eyes gleaming as he stares at you, brushing a knuckle down your cheek. 

“Want y’ to be the first to hear it.” 

You immediately wrap your arms around his neck, holding tight murmuring about how proud you are in his ear before you pull away. He kisses you slowly and after some time you make your way down to the studio, settling in on the couch while he sits behind the mixer turning his chair towards you as he presses play, delighting in your every reaction, particularly when you gasp “I said that to you while you were inside me and you put it in a song?!” At some point he comes over, laying your feet on his lap squeezing every so often, eyes never leaving your face. 

“Wrote this one about you years ago,” he murmurs softly, chuckling when you shake your head in disbelief. “You’ve always been on my mind.” 

And this time, when the traditional debrief ends with the two of you wrapped up in each other, the album playing in the background, barely making noise over your gasps, well…some traditions were meant to change. 

--

You were absolutely at the ONOs, typically you’d only attend the London one but he was about to burst out of his skin with anxiety so you made the trip to NYC, surprising him at his flat, the look on his face making you all instantly forget your jetlag as he wrapped his arms around you, mumbling thank yous into your hair. The two of you prided yourselves on your privacy and subtlety, how you’ve learned to move through public spaces together but these shows were a bit of an exception, the way he kept locking eyes with you, singing certain lyrics to you and you alone though the crowd was none the wiser as he turned back to them, relishing in their adoration, the way they knew every word despite the album coming out only hours before. They felt like the tip of the iceberg, the reactions he was getting unlike anything you've ever seen and it felt like you were back in that london flat in 2011 all over again, watching the love of your life on the precipice of having all of his dreams come true. it felt bigger this time, somehow. never imagining just how much his life and, in turn yours, was going to change over the next year, never knowing how big it could truly get. only knowing you were along for the ride, determined to be by his side no matter what.

--

[babyhoneyheslt]

For the prompt thing. Harry telling Louis he’s dyed his hair (like for he did for the brits) and him dyeing it barely different to his normal and Louis doesn’t notice he’s dyed it and Harry gets grumpy

Ahh I hope I can do this like you want it! It will be a little short but I hope you like it!

“Heya Love,” Louis says as soon as Harry answers the phone, putting it to his ear as he looks in the mirror, his hair full of foils. “What are you up to today?”

“Not much, just having my hair dyed.” Harry shrugs, smiling through the mirror at the hairdresser. “Sat in the salon now.”

“Oh nice,” Louis says. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“When will you be home?” Harry asks. Louis had been away for a month now on tour, and Harry can’t wait to see him.

“Next week. I wish you could’ve come with me.” A frown is evident in Louis’ voice.

“Me too.” Harry pouts. “I have to go now, Babe. Wash it out. Talk later?”

“Talk later. Love you, H.”

“Love you too.”

~.~

Harry runs his hands through his hair as he stands in the airport terminal, watching out for Louis as he walks out of baggage claims. A grin forms on his face as he spots him, Louis walking towards him and pulling him into a hug.

“Hey, Love. I didn’t expect you to be at the airport.” Louis pecks his lips pulling away from the hug.

“Wanted to surprise you,” Harry says as he pulls his keys out of his pocket.

“Well. It was a nice surprise.” Louis smiles grabbing his suitcase. “Are you ready to take me home?”

“I am.” Harry nods, unable to help feeling a little disheartened that Louis hadn’t noticed his hair. Or even told him it looks pretty.

He walks off with Louis following him, a small pout on his lips as he starts driving home. Louis makes idle conversation and Harry answers, though he gives short answers.

“Alright H, what’s wrong?” Louis turns to look at him. “Have I done anything to upset you?”

“I thought you loved me.” Harry pouts, a little overdramatic but he learned from the best.

“Of course I love you, what are you on about?” Confusion filters over Louis’ feature. “I’m a little hurt you think otherwise.”

“But you didn’t notice a difference in me.” Harry turns to look, watching as Louis analyses his face. “I told you last week.”

“You look the same…” Louis trails off, tilting his head confused. “You said you dyed your hair? But it’s the same.”

“No it’s darker.” Harry pouts. “My hair is usually a lighter brown.”

“I’m sorry, H. But I don’t think there is a change,” Louis says. Harry frowns, he could notice the difference. “But, you look pretty.”

“I always look pretty.” Harry gives him a cheeky grin and Louis shakes his head amused. “We’re home.”

“We are.” Louis smiles. “It’s good to be home.”

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of fics in which one of the main pairing is their brother's/sister's best friend as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

💋 Bloodline by banana_louis

(E, 177k, fluff) Louis doesn't know how to feel when his best friend, Liam, finds out about a brother that he never knew, who was placed for adoption before he was born and is bursting into his life at twenty-four years old.

💋 Want You More Than A by TheCellarDoor / @donotdialnine

(M, 77k, high school) Falling in love with your step-brother’s best friend is a disaster enough. When he happens to be the boy everyone loves and you’re a nerd who wears sweater vests and cries during rom-coms, it takes it to a whole new level.

💋 late nights and good intentions by princelouisau

(E, 71k, historical) a Victorian era au where Louis pines for his overprotective older brother’s very charming best friend.

💋 teenage dreams in a teenage circus by orphan_account

(E, 50k, high school) The last few months of sixth form bring about a lot of changes, however. Gemma refuses to let anything stop her from getting into her top-pick uni, Perrie second-guesses what makes her special, and Louis breaks the most common of friend codes: he falls for his best mate's little brother.

💋 We Got The World Shaking by FutureMrsHaroldStyles

(M, 39k, omegaverse) the one where Harry goes into heat at his best friend Lottie's birthday party and her big brother helps him out.

💋 Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

(M, 34k, historical) Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season

💋 Baby, What a Big Surprise by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou

(E, 33k, high school) the one where shy, quiet Harry has no idea he's a carrier, and a one night stand with the most popular boy in school shows him just how wrong he was.

💋 With the Rising Sun by Tomlinsontoes / @pianolouis

(M, 33k, NYC) Somehow he got roped into his sister's brilliant idea of getting her college best friend to help him branch out and meet people.

💋 It's Been So Long by elsi_bee / @elsi-bee

(T, 31k, friends to lovers) Harry Styles' first crush was one of his sister's best friends, a certain someone named Louis Tomlinson. And Louis? He just vaguely remembers Gemma's younger brother from back in the day. A lot can change in ten years.

💋 Pillow Talk by @fallinglikethis

(E, 25k, sexuality crisis) When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister's best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love.

💋 and i don't care it's obvious by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 20k, uni) However, his issue was that no one had ever created a guide that one could follow in regards to what to do or how to feel when your crush was your sister's best friend.

💋 i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by pinkgelpen

(E, 19k, omegaverse) Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend

💋 I'll Be Your Light by mightaswellll

(M, 17k, roommates) Harry Styles always had a crush on his sister's best friend Louis Tomlinson. Moving in with them should be a good way to get over it, right?

💋 Won’t Let You Down by noellehenry / @noellehenry-original

(M, 15k, small town) Suddenly he’s the owner of a farm and B&B, gets involved in illegal trading of unlabeled bottles and has to deal with his everlasting crush on his sister Gemma’s best friend, who has returned to Woodville…

💋 What do you mean he's coming? by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics

(G, 15k, famous/not famous) Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance.

💋 show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney

(E, 13k, size kink) the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

💋 Dirty Little Secret by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation

(M, 10k, secret relationship) the one where Harry and Louis fall in love, but can’t figure out how to tell Gemma. That is, until Harry gets pregnant, and they don’t have much of a choice.

💋 Here We Come A-Wassailing by @lululawrence

(NR, 8k, Christmas) It was cold, they would be outside in said cold, and he only wanted to stay warm and comfortable in the house. At least his best friend Gemma and her family are part of the caroling crew.

💋 Giving Me Excitations by @juliusschmidt

(M, 6k, vacation) Gemma's BFF Louis joins the family on a beach weekend. Harry likes him so much.

💋 harder to hide than i thought by dangerbears

(NR, 6k, high school) louis's best friend's little brother suddenly got very attractive.

💋 now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 5k, omegaverse) Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest. 

💋 Tell Me That You've Got Me by @lululawrence

(NR, 2k, neighbors)  the one where Harry was always Louis' best friend's younger brother...until they grow up and once innocent forms of affection come to mean a little bit more.

💋 All This Time by @allwaswell16

(T, 1k, omegaverse) Louis Tomlinson had been best friends with flower shop owner Gemma Styles for years. It wasn't until she suggested he date her alpha brother that he ever thought of Harry that way.

- Rare Pairs -

💋 That Dimpled Smile by Phillipa19

(E, 47k, Zayn/Harry & Marcel/Louis) When Harry's best mate Louis shows an interest in his nerdy little brother, Harry isn't prepared to let him near. But it's hard for Harry to keep track of those two when he has enough trouble trying to figure out what the hell is going on with him and Zayn and their secretive relationship.

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Argument

2011

Part 9

The album is complete! What? And in 2 days we are going on the Chatty Man show to promote our album. This is crazy.

James haven’t gotten to spend that much time together. We’ve both been so busy so tonight I have made us dinner.

I sit waiting for him to come home, he should have been home hours ago now. Not wanting my food to go cold I decide to eat it on my own.

10:38 and James still isn’t home. Giving up I sigh blowing out the candle that I had lit and place the left overs in the fridge. I get ready for bed, trying to get to sleep, but keep glancing at the clock on James side of the bed.

I end up staying up all night, sick with worry to where James is. I’ve tried phoning him and it’s just gone straight to voice mail each time.

Eventually I hear the apartment door open then shut. Then I hear James foot walking up to the bedroom. I glare at him with wide eyes

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick something happened to you”

“Sorry I was out with a friend. Had a bit to drink and then my phone died so I couldn’t text”

“You could have borrowed their phone!” I shout

“Keep it down. My head hearts”

“Unbelievable” i scoff

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please can we talk about this?"

"I'm tired James. I’ve been up all night and I’m meeting the boys to talk about our first single and the music video….”

“Of course you are. Your always with them” he mutters

“It’s my job! I work with them. Look we can talk tomorrow but right now I’m pissed off and I don’t want this argument getting worse" I leave James in our bedroom and grab my coat before leaving the apartment.

“He seriously didn’t come home till 9 this morning?” Liam asks with raised eyebrows while we’re sat down at Harry and Louis place

“And he didn’t tell you he was stopping out?” Zayn asks. I shake my head in response

“I don’t know what’s going on with him lately. He’s never home, barley talks to me. If he didn’t want to move in together I wish he had just said. I wouldn’t have cared, but he was the one who asked to join me in moving. Anyway enough about my love life, we need to talk about our first single and the music video”

“Simon said he thinks it should be What Makes You Beautiful” Niall says

“I agree. It’s catchy” Harry nods his head

“Ok so what do we think we want the music video to be like? Simon wants ideas”

“I say road trip” Niall says

“I was gonna say we should film at the beach” Zayn says

“Why not merge the two together” I raise an eyebrow

“I ain’t filming in the UK. The water will be to cold” Louis shakes his head making me chuckle.

[1d1195]

Traditional IX

You can read Traditional here.

This part is 7.5K words of almost entirely fluff. It's kind of a mess but I think it's a good mess. I thought of a few more things that I could do in the future so might squeeze an extra part or two out of it. Might involve some angst though :) :) :) Hope you enjoy!

Carefully, he leaned over the side of the basin, and tangled his fingers through her hair and started massaging the pads of his fingertips against her scalp. She sighed. “You gotta be careful or I’ll never leave this tub.”

If it meant he could always wake up and find her here, he’d massage her hair forever and draw a bath for her every day of their lives.

The phone only rang once before it was answered. She felt bad that he was probably hovering by the phone for the last two hours waiting for someone to call him back. “Is she okay?!”

She thought about the last time she saw her phone. It was either in the driver’s car or back in Niall’s office. But now that Harry had forgiven her, a little sliver of pain relieved after the horrible day, all the tears, sobs, plus lack of sleep caught up to her very tired mind. Her head was aching. She wanted to just lay in absolute silence and wish for sleep to come so she could just shut down for a while. But she had to make this phone call first.

Harry was in the kitchen, once more taking care of her. Gathering water and medicine for her tired body. “I’m fine,” she answered the panicked voice at the other end as gently as possible. Her heart rate was settling, and she thought she might fall asleep right there on the comfiest couch she had ever had the pleasure of sitting on. But she needed to make sure Louis knew she was alright. Since her phone was MIA, she used Harry’s.

First came the loudest relieved sigh she had ever heard. “Fucking hell, babe, what the fuck,” Louis sounded distraught. She remembered the last time Louis ever sounded so upset. Back when she was eighteen and asked if he could help her move out after he had gone away to university. After one of the hardest tragedies of their young lives she wanted Louis and Eleanor to just live two years post-grad in ignorant bliss of anything that was happening to her. They checked in so regularly, but she kept her life at home so hidden.

When Louis found out, saw, and heard…

It was the only other time because she vowed to herself that she would never be the reason for the anxiety laced in his otherwise happy-go-lucky attitude. But here they were anyway; both of them upset beyond words. “You scared me half to death!” He did sound scared. He sounded close to tears. Just like he never sounded distraught, it was even more rare of an occasion that Louis shed tears.

“I’m sor—”

“No, absolutely not,” he interrupted. “Don’t you dare apologize,” she could hear him shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him. “I’m not mad. I’ve just been worried sick. I thought you were at Harry’s this whole time...what took you so long to answer—”

“It’s a long story,” she mumbled. “I don’t want to ruin your weekend more than I already have.”

“You didn’t ruin it,” Eleanor’s voice appeared at the other end of the line. It must have been on speakerphone.  “We were worried,” she said gently. “Tell us what happened, love,” She prompted.

So, she rehashed the story. The third time in half a dozen hours. Harry handed her water and medicine part way through. Sitting beside her, he watched as she spoke each individual word. Her voice was devoid of emotion through most of it. Louis and Eleanor must have asked questions, but she answered them all. Spared no details. But he caught the flicker of blush on her cheeks as she explained that awful story about the horrible woman that spouted lies about knowing Harry’s likes and dislikes.

“I’m at Harry’s now,” she shrugged. Harry worried about her well-being. That was a lot to happen in one day. A lot of emotions wreaking havoc on her body. Maybe it was shock again because she seemed so at ease chatting with her friends on the phone. Like they were catching up after a holiday. “I’m very tired,” she admitted. There was a pause before she smiled weakly then nodded. Harry couldn’t hear but he thought they were telling her to sleep. “I love you both so much,” she whispered. “Can I pay for you to get an extra day to make up for—” She pulled the phone from her ear quickly before her thought was finished. Harry couldn’t make out the words, but he definitely heard yelling from the couple. She giggled tiredly, her eyes drooping by the second.

“Oh, I’ll take that now,” Harry murmured putting the phone to his ear now that she was trying to take care of her friends all while draining the last bit of her energy of the day. Within seconds, as if she wasn’t in control of her own body, she leaned toward Harry, placing her head on his thigh and sighed contentedly and let her eyelids finally close. “Hello?” He said to the phone gently.

There was a moment of hesitation. A deep shaky breath. “Harry, if you break that poor girl’s heart, so help me God, I will murder you without a second thought,” Louis promised.

“Lou,” Eleanor said tentatively. El knew the poor girl would be embarrassed by Louis if she was awake to hear it.

Harry smirked and placed his hand on her head gently combing her hair around her ear and watched the evenness of her breath move her body while she laid quietly on his lap. Harry was so relieved she was okay. He was even happier she was right there for him to watch her and make sure she was okay. “Louis, I’d hand you the knife,” he promised.

*

He let her lay there for a long while—almost an hour. He scrolled through his phone shortly after she fell asleep, after he assured Louis and Eleanor that he would take care of her. He even suggested they do take the extra day for their anniversary weekend. “I think it would make her feel better if y’did,” he explained. “I know m’still new in her life, but I think we all know she’d feel unnecessarily guilty for worrying y’on your holiday,” Harry reminded them. After a hearty agreement, Harry also knew they were two of the people who loved her most in the world, they’d do anything to make her feel better too.

After that, he made his call to Niall.

“Is she alright?” He asked without any greeting. It wasn’t uncommon for there to be no greeting when they chatted anyway. Harry felt no jealousy at all. Especially after his conversation with Gemma. He felt good old-fashioned love for Niall who clearly cared deeply about the sweet girl laying across his couch and lap. “I tried calling her, but her phone was in the office. I have it with me because I thought if she was going—”

“Oh good, she was worried ‘bout that,” Harry mumbled. He didn’t want to move an inch because he just wanted this poor girl to rest.

“I’ll bring it by...is she okay?” He asked again.

“‘Bout as good as y’can expect.”

“She’s there?” Niall wondered.

“Where else would I let her go?” Harry smirked sadly. Niall informed him he really wasn’t sure. It was time for the story he heard twice now from Niall’s point of view. He only told Harry about her leaving and coming back in the simplest of details. How she asked him not to tell Harry about the harassment and so forth. Pair that with knowing her phone didn’t make it with her to the car, he wasn’t certain she was going to make it to Harry’s.

It was pitch-black dark outside. Since she fell asleep so suddenly, he didn’t have time to turn the lights on or anything. Only the kitchen light half illuminated the living area. He tilted his head against the back of the sofa, taking the new version of her story once more from Niall’s perspective. “Niall, m’sorry for being such a prick,” he said.

“It’s already forgotten,” Niall said kindly. “We all do crazy things for the people we love. Just make sure she knows she didn’t ruin our friendship,” Niall had a smirk in his voice and Harry felt a flutter in his heart at that not-so-little L-word. “Also, I would like to be part of the exit interview when you fire that horrific woman, if you want to truly make amends.”

Harry chuckled quietly. “That can be arranged,” he murmured. “Can y’pick up some food for us on the way? I imagine she hasn’t eaten today. I’ll wake her up and make sure she eats before bed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Course. Just let me know.”

It was another half hour before Niall said he had food in his car and would be ten minutes. In that time, he texted his lawyer asking what he could do about her situation to make it painless as possible. Then he sent another text to the driver requesting to follow her.

Once he received Niall’s message that he was enroute with food, he started to wake her up. “Hey there,” he hummed gently rubbing the length of her arm. “Kitten, wake up, please,” he whispered and gave her the gentlest little shake he could muster. “Niall’s bringing us some food, love,” he told her. At the same moment her stomach growled very loudly. He smirked feeling grateful he was waking her up to eat.

“I guess m’hungry,” she mumbled and slowly sat up. “Oof. My head,” she winced pressing one hand to each of her temples. A wave of dizziness and pain rolled over her exhausted mind like she was hungover.

Harry immediately brought his hands over top of hers and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It made her fuzzy mind warm over with adoration for Harry. While he pressed a simple kiss to her head, all he could think was he was going to have a hard time letting her go to the bathroom of all things. All he wanted was to keep touching her and consoling her. “M’so sorry, baby,” he whispered.

“Harry?” She asked tentatively.

He frowned. He sensed he wasn’t going to like her follow up question. “Yes, kitten?”

“If you’re not too busy, could I stay the weekend? I really don’t want to be alone,” she said rubbing one eye.

He didn’t like that she felt like she had to ask. Part of him thought it was understood she would be there all weekend. But he was glad she wanted to ask and did ask. If all this had happened a few weeks prior she might not have been asking. “Mi casa es su casa,” he answered simply. She smirked. “Of course, love.”

“I just need a moment,” she said standing and made her way for the bathroom. Harry nodded watching her like she might fall to pieces just by standing. His leg was numb from sitting in the same position for almost an hour along with her head resting on his thigh. There wasn’t an ounce of complaining about it in his body, but he got up and stretched it a bit—he called his lawyer back while he wiggled his leg and paced the floor a bit. He turned on some more lights so everyone could see. Especially the outside one for Niall’s arrival. He did show up shortly after that. “I’ll call you back,” he said to his phone as he held the door open for Niall to bring the food inside.

He smiled at her as she reentered the kitchen while he and Harry got the takeout boxes settled. “Hey darling, you look like you’re feeling much better,” he chuckled and gave her a side hug with a kiss to the top of her head.

Harry was thrilled he wasn’t the least bit jealous of their physical interaction. It really made it seem like he was jealous of her not talking to him. Even just thinking about that bristled him a bit. He was irritated that she didn’t feel comfortable talking to him the way she did with Niall.

How were they supposed to get married if she wouldn’t tell him her every thought? It was an irrational worry, but he couldn’t help thinking about it.

Harry smirked despite the nagging little thought, as he set her food out. “I think that’s damning by faint praise. I don’t think I could look worse than earlier,” she snorted. Harry rolled his eyes and Niall laughed a bit more.

“So hard on yourself, darling,” he shook his head. Harry let them chat while they all ate quietly. Harry wanted to put her to bed and massage her head so she could relax. But he liked that Niall was good at keeping her chatting, distracting her. Harry was too nervous and busy cooing about her to hold a real conversation right now. Plus, he didn’t want to make her cry any more than she probably would on her own—if only because her head was still hurting her. He could see it on the little pinch of skin between her eyebrows and he wished she would just go to sleep so she could feel better.

“Do you need some time off…the whole week to get things figured out?” Niall asked. His voice was quiet and gentle—like he didn’t want to ask her. Harry was glad he asked it because it was an important question, and he was worried he would accidentally force her to take the week off if he tried asking.

“No,” she shook her head quickly. “That’s the last thing I want,” she emphasized the word last as she put the forkful of food to her mouth. Niall and Harry glanced at each other for just one moment. Harry shrugged one shoulder hoping she didn’t notice. “I’m sad, not blind.” He smirked despite himself. Niall tried to cover his laugh with a throat clearing. “Mom probably doesn’t want me there,” she said casually. Like it wasn’t the death of a parent. Like it was a birthday dinner. Or a doctor’s appointment. Her tone and words broke Harry’s heart. How could someone not love her? He truly couldn’t imagine. He wanted to ask why her mother wouldn’t forgive her, but it wasn’t his place to ask. Plus, (even though he might disagree with her mother’s choice and ignoring her very much perfect daughter) who was he to judge how she chose to grieve for another child? He wished with everything in him that they cared for her the way they were supposed to...before it was too late. She was so special, and it was unfair she didn’t have the support she deserved. “I don’t know. Maybe Louis will know what to do when he gets back...so I’ll at least work through Tuesday.”

“Well, whatever you need,” Niall shrugged. “I don’t want to hold you from sleep. You could use a ton of it. Thanks for the food, Harry,” he smiled. The poor thing was getting droopy eyed again. Niall kissed the top of her head and gave a wave as he headed out. “Call if you need me!”

*

She claimed it was much too early to go to bed. It wasn’t, but Harry would have agreed the sky was red if it came from her lips. He wasn’t arguing with her at all this weekend. Whatever her heart wanted, it was all hers. Her sleepiness wore quick, and she fell asleep almost immediately as The Good Place played while he rubbed her feet in his lap. Or at least, he thought she was asleep. “Harry,” she mumbled.

“Yes, kitten?” He asked curiously looking at her half sleeping figure.

“Would you ever do all this for…a regular companion?”

He shook his head. He would do anything for her, answer any question, but he wished she wasn’t worried about this right now. “No, but you’re very different than all the other ones.”

“You don’t have to pay me as much…since I don’t…” she trailed off.

“Kitten, I’d simply pay you more if y’did,” he had a sad smile on his lips as he spoke. That’s not why he wanted her. He meant it from the moment he responded to her over six months ago.

“Hardly seems fair,” she muttered. “I think you need to reevaluate our agreement. I know I’m not CEO, but I know a thing or two about supply and demand and cost efficiency.”

He chuckled. “Love, why are y’worrying about this right now?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. Her eyes were still closed. “I worry a lot about other people,” she told him.

He couldn’t argue with that. “I noticed.”

They were quiet for a long while. Harry pressed his thumbs into the soles of her feet noting every little sigh that escaped her lips. Eventually he noticed her light snores. He carefully moved her feet to the side and slid off the couch. With a blanket he had tossed over the back, he covered her lightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t want to leave her there, but he wanted to take the next step in making sure she had everything she needed to recover from such a horrible couple of days.

*

She doesn’t know when she woke up, but Harry was backlit by the TV, knelt beside her. His hands were gentle as he rubbed her arm. “Hey, love. I ran you a bath.”

The last time she took a bath was surely in childhood. But Harry looked so proud that he did the right thing. She felt woozy again as she stood. Her brain aching but she wasn’t due for medicine for a while. A bath and some sleep might do some good. Harry led her to the bathroom and started to pull her clothes off: the cozy sweater, the silky blouse, and the dark dress pants that tied around her waist.

She wanted to protest out of awkwardness and shyness. She couldn’t believe Harry was undressing her again without the pretense of more, but Harry was acting like this was normal. Almost as if he was pretending, he didn’t notice what he was doing fully. His mind wasn’t on the fact she was naked before him, he was just taking care of her. She didn’t even blush as he did so.

He had a little towel folded where her head rested, and she sank into the warm water. Of course, Harry made sure the house was a comfortable room temperature given the winter air outside, but until she was slipping into the water, she was reminded it was the dead of winter and the water was so warm against the cold air. “Hmm,” she sighed. Harry rolled his sleeves up—she noticed he changed into a pair of joggers and a long sleeve T-shirt. Carefully, he leaned over the side of the basin, and tangled his fingers through her hair and started massaging the pads of his fingertips against her scalp. She sighed. “You gotta be careful or I’ll never leave this tub.”

If it meant he could always wake up and find her here, he’d massage her hair forever and draw a bath for her every day of their lives.

*

After the water started to cool and she was nearly back to sleep once more, Harry gently coaxed her to stand. Harry had the fluffiest towels. Like a hotel. She loved his washer and dryer. Everything about him and his house was a warm hug. She was going to hate leaving it in the spring. He wrapped her in one of the fluffy towels and helped her step out of the tub. “M’sleepy,” she mumbled.

“I know, beautiful,” he hummed. “Just wanna get y’dressed.”

“I don’t have clothes.”

Harry bit his lip and in her sleepy, grief-stricken mind she swore his cheeks had turned pink. “I…I may have had Gemma order some things for y’back when y’were all burned so y’always had stuff here,” he gestured to the folded pile on the sink counter.

If she wasn’t so tired, she probably would have asked a hundred questions. Did he snoop through her clothes looking for sizes when she wasn’t looking? Why did he get expensive brands like Lulu Lemon?  That seemed so excessive even for him. She didn’t even own it. How much did he get? And of course, had he ever done this before for someone else?

But the gesture was so sweet she was rendered speechless. Without any kind of fanfare, he handed her the pair of underwear still packaged in plastic while he pulled the tag off the shirt while he waited for her to slide them on. He did the same with the sweatpants. This was by far one of the kindest things any man had ever done for her.

Harry stepped out of the bathroom and headed to “her” bedroom. He tugged the covers back and left the room. She frowned sliding between the sheets thinking he was leaving her just like that. Harry returned quickly with an assortment of items in his arms. Her phone, a glass of water, pills, and a book tucked under his arm. “I…I don’t read much. But I do like this one. Thought y’might like it,” he sounded so shy. “And I know y’like t’have a book nearby.”

After having his sister order clothes for her, this had to be the second sweetest thing a man had ever done for her.

For the last half hour, the bath, the head massage, the book, and the clothes…she almost forgot the last day and a half was so terrible. Harry was pure medicine for her tired body and mind. She wished she was there for a normal circumstance.

“Do you have everything you need?” He asked. “Can I get you anything else?”

You. She shook her head. “I feel like a princess,” she mumbled. He smiled and brushed his thumb on her cheek.

“Think y’are one, love,” he pressed a long kiss to the middle of her forehead. “Shout if y’need something. Sleep well, beautiful,” he whispered.

As he turned to leave, at the last second, she grabbed his hand and pulled lightly. He stumbled a bit as he turned back to her. She clutched her hand around his instinctively. Held tight. It took her a minute to realize she had even reached for him.

He couldn’t believe her beautiful doe-eyed expression. Surely, she was the most gorgeous thing to ever exist. Harry swore his heart softened into mush as he looked her over for signs of tears or sadness. He knew he looked on with confusion, but he loved how her hand felt wrapped around his.

She didn’t say anything, and after a second, she just lifted the covers up in invitation.

Harry didn’t hesitate to slip in beside and wrap his body around hers. He flipped over to the other side of her. She pressed her face against his chest. He held her so close. For the last thirty odd hours she felt so broken emotionally, mentally, and physically.

With Harry wrapped around her, she finally felt whole.

*

Harry woke up still snuggled up to her. He carefully reached over her sleeping figure for a sip of her water and did his best not to disturb her. But she was pressing her fingertips over his chest like she was playing an imaginary piano. “Are y’awake, love?” He whispered. She nodded. It was so dark and so quiet in the room. “Are y’okay?” He asked.

She nodded again. “You worry too much about me,” her voice was soft and quiet. The only kind of voice that could be used at one thirty in the morning.

He had one arm wrapped beneath her neck and pillow, crooked around her so his arm wouldn’t go numb, but he could still hold her tight. The other draped over her waist. He nodded in response to her statement. “You gave me quite the scare over the last day.”

“I’ve been dealt worse hands,” she responded dryly.

“You certainly use humor as a main coping mechanism.”

“It drove my therapist nuts,” she had a touch of laughter in her breathy whisper. Harry never gave much thought to her family because she didn’t. As far as he could tell, Louis and Eleanor were her family. But it made sense she went to therapy for all she had gone through at sixteen. He wondered if she ever still went but didn’t want to ask something so personal. “Whatcha thinking about Mr. Styles? Me in a straitjacket?”

He snorted quietly. “Hardly…how long did y’go t’therapy for?

“Two years, every two weeks. Then once every other month all through university. I don’t go anymore,” he was a little grateful she volunteered the information without him having to ask. He would worry endlessly if she wasn’t feeling up to par and felt like she had to hide something that was helping her well-being.

“No?”

“I mean. I’ll probably make an appointment now but no. I haven’t had an appointment in a while.”

“Why’s that?” He had to know.

She didn’t respond to that question, however. She thought telling him that she met a guy who actually worried about her in such a casual way would send Harry into cardiac arrest. “Do you like the night?” She asked instead.

Harry didn’t mind that she didn’t answer. It wasn’t that important. “Hmm?”

“I’m a morning person. But I think when you can’t see the other person, night is better. Much more revealing.”

“Tell me something then,” Harry lazily drew shapes along her arm that looped back over his torso.

“I just told you about therapy. Your turn.”

He chuckled under his breath. “I’ll tell y’anything y’want t’know.”

She waited a minute. “Do you really like pineapple on pizza?” She whispered.

He laughed almost loudly. Especially for nearly two in the morning. “Yes, kitten.”

She sighed. “I really had a chance of falling for you and everything.”

“Is that so?”

She didn’t want to repeat that mainly because it was a lie. She had already fallen so hard. So, she moved onto her next question. “What did you do on movie night?” She asked.

“I went to the gym and took m’frustration out on a punching bag.”

She ignored the idea of angry Harry. Especially because of her. “Do you go to the gym a lot?” She wondered.

“Usually at the company one during the day.”

They chatted for about half an hour. Talking about random things. Harry laughed a lot at her jokes, and she enjoyed the feel of his fingers continuously running along the inside of her arm and sliding up to comb through her hair. “Kitten,” he mumbled as she got sleepier. Her answers and questions less vibrant in tone as she started drifting back to sleep.

“Hmm?”

“Do you remember when I was sick?” He asked. She nodded against his arm. “You called me baby a lot when I was getting less foggy,” he said. “I didn’t know why.”

Harry could feel the smile moving her cheeks with her face pressed to her arms. “You asked me to. Said it made you feel better.”

He smirked, felt his cheeks warm knowing he asked her for such a silly but somewhat intimate thing. “Oh,” he chuckled. “Sorry.”

She was quiet for a moment. Harry almost thought she fell asleep. “I didn’t mind.”

His heart felt so warm. “You can call me ‘baby’ anytime,” he told her.

She yawned and nuzzled her nose against his T-shirt in response. Again, he thought she’d fallen asleep when she answered him once more. “Night, baby.”

“Good night, love.”

*

Harry once more stilled her hand as she reached for the car door once they were parked. He got out quickly and hurried to her side of the car to open the door. “I didn’t know you knew how to drive,” she giggled.

“Hardy-har,” he rolled his eyes holding his hand out for her as she exited the car. They were outside an electronics store. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he went shopping in person and out from behind his computer screen. It seemed like fun to get out of the house. Especially since she only had one request when she woke up that morning in the circle of Harry’s arms. “I don’t want to think about it today. Is that alright?”

“Harry,” she said alertly, alarm in her voice and pulled on his hand with a quick tug right before he walked into traffic as a car passed by. He smirked and looked back at her. Apparently, it had been long enough that he wasn’t as mindful about parking lots as he should have been.

“Thanks kitten. Keep hold of this for me? Don’t want to get hurt,” He said squeezing his hand in hers. His smile was flirty and adorable. She loved weekend Harry. The last time she spent the whole weekend with him was when she wasn’t up to par. Maybe emotionally she still wasn’t up to snuff, but this was better than him having to worry about her burns by far.

How was Harry going to deny any request for the girl he was so enthralled with?

She kept hold of his hand and she thought from the outside they must look like a regular old couple. No one would question it. He guided her through the doors and to the back where the laptops were displayed. She perused them for a while. “M’so sorry love. I’m getting a phone call,” he gave her hand a squeeze and made way for the exit in case he needed better reception outside. “Styles,” he spoke clearly. She smirked and continued her search.

She looked at the different brands. Sure, Harry had a ton of money but of course she wasn’t going to pick the most expensive one just for the sake of it. She didn’t do much on her laptop except type her reflections these days, shop online every so often, and watch Netflix. “Can I help you?” The person working in the computer section asked. “That’s a fairly good one you’re looking at,” he told her.

She touched the keyboard. “My current one died,” she explained. “But I liked it. So, I figured maybe I’d just get a new one of the same kind.”

“Can I persuade you to a different brand? It would be much better,” he said with a smile. “I wouldn’t want you to have a poor laptop.”

She knew where this was going based on the way his eyes sparkled. It didn’t seem to matter if she thought so poorly of herself. She was a girl in the electronics section and if it wasn’t the employee, it would have been a random man showing off his knowledge trying to convince her that he could take care of her needs. She sighed. “I’m not sure...I like this one.”

He was about to launch into a story about why it was better. She was prepared to listen politely but ultimately, she would probably pick this one. However, he kept encroaching on her personal space, and it was making her a bit weary as he explained the better quality of RAM and storage on the other brand he wanted to suggest. She was nearly bored to sleep when he brushed his hand on her arm. With little notice of just how close he was, she jerked back awkwardly and bumped into something solid behind her. Whatever it was, it only gave just enough to cradle her before she fell completely backward. “Hi beautiful,” Harry muttered holding her up. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head as he kept her steady. Then he looped his fingers back through hers. “Find one you liked?” He asked but he was staring at the employee who looked shocked.

“Umm… yeah. This one,” she pointed confused by how calm Harry was being. He nearly broke his friendship with Niall when he saw him touching her. How was he so rational over a stranger? Her heart fluttered violently. Harry glanced at the specifications printed on the little display model and then turned to the worker.

“Can we have the top version of this one,” he asked.

“Harry,” she whispered. “I don’t—”

“Right away,” the poor guy said hurrying behind the doors nearby to get the best model.

“Stupid idiot,” Harry grunted under his breath. How could he not know she was here with someone? How could he think she would fall for someone that was trying to dissuade her opinion of which laptop she wanted? Harry needed to be more careful when he left her alone.

Oh. He was very mad. She felt her face warm. “Harry?” She asked tentatively. He squeezed her hand.

“Yes, love?” He murmured.

“I don’t need to get the fanciest one,” she whispered. He squeezed her hand again, reassuringly.

“Mmm…”

“Harry, I swear I didn’t flirt or anything,” she promised.

He scoffed. “Kitten,” he shook his head. “You’re not seriously apologizing for someone else’s behavior?” She bit her lip. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and placed another kiss on the top of her head. “Shh,” he hushed as the worker returned. “Thanks,” Harry said grabbing the box from his hands and turning the two of them away from the display. He brought her along the back wall to look at laptop cases. “Want one?”

“Umm…I don’t know. I don’t think I really need one...I already have one that would probably fit this—"

“I like this one with the sunflowers on it. It looks like something you’d like,” he said pointing to one of the cases on the wall.

She blinked. “I remind you of sunflowers?”

“You wore this dress with sunflowers on it back in September when you first started,” he shrugged. “Thought you looked adorable.”

Her cheeks warmed at his assessment, and she grabbed at the case immediately. “Yes, I want it.”

He smiled. “Do you want anything else?”

She shook her head. “No this is plenty.”

He steered her toward the checkout line. The guy at the counter rang her stuff quickly, Harry accepted the five-year warranty that she normally skimped out on because it seemed useless. Harry slid his black AmEx card through not even registering the total at all. She did though, and she couldn’t imagine spending that much on something for herself in one go.

Harry opened her car door for her as she got inside. She was buckling herself when Harry got in on his side and in one motion, maneuvered so the back of her head pressed firmly against the headrest and his lips attached to hers. He devoured her breath. Making her already cloudy head spin. Pulling back, he pecked at her lips a few more times. She felt totally breathless. All Harry did was smirk at her and then reached up to brush his thumb over her cheek. Then starting his car up, he drove off without a word.

She would never intentionally make Harry jealous. But she liked it when the rewards of his jealousy resulted in kisses for her.

*

They were almost finished with The Good Place. A few more episodes were left when she felt a bit hungry. “Can we have breakfast for dinner?”

“What am I gonna make y’in the morning, then?” He smirked at her giving her arm a squeeze. They were snuggled up on the couch, again like an ordinary couple.

She frowned so cutely. Her little pout made his heart melt. He would have made her breakfast any time of day she wanted, multiple times a day, and he would eat it happily. “Well, I’m going to be sad tomorrow, and I don’t want to ruin breakfast by being sad,” she explained.

It was his turn to frown. “You’re gonna be sad tomorrow?” He asked.

“I think I have to deal with it, no?” She muttered.

Harry sighed. He hadn’t gotten an update from the lawyer since he stepped out of the electronics store earlier in the day. He was hoping for better news before he gave her information. Before she had to be sad. He didn’t ask them to go in guns ablaze. He just wanted to make sure her mum had everything she needed and that all would be taken care of so that she wouldn’t shorten the poor girl that had already lost so much. After the terrible day she had, he just wanted to give her the quiet and perfect weekend she deserved. Filled with kisses, good food, snuggles, and TV... and maybe a book if she wanted.

“Maybe y’should wait until Louis and Eleanor get back?” He suggested casually. “Gives y’more time t’recover...and if y’need t’take a day or two, love—”

“Okay,” she interrupted quickly but it was still sweet as syrup the way she said it. “I’ll think about it. Maybe Tuesday or something would be better.”

He sighed with relief quietly. Grateful he’d have the weekend to spoil her and figure out more details on the law end of things. Maybe he could even run it by Louis to get a bit more of the picture.

But for now, he would make her an omelet, pancakes, French toast, or even crepes if she wanted.

*

After their breakfast for dinner, Harry had her lying against his chest while the last of the episodes played. She was a quiet thing when she slept. He didn’t notice she had fallen asleep until the show was over, the screen dark, and he heard the quiet, rhythmic breaths coming from her. He kissed her forehead and shifted awkwardly until she was cradled against him, and he carried her down the hall to his bedroom. If she was okay with sleeping together last night, he hoped she wouldn’t mind tonight.

Plus, his bed was larger. He placed her in the middle and managed to shimmy the covers beneath her body. He slid in beside her and kissed her forehead once more. She cuddled against him silently, without waking. He sighed, completely content with the scent of her shampoo filling his brain. It was like a potion clouding his mind with overwhelming emotions of adoring her.

“Baby?” She hummed after several moments. Harry was almost asleep himself when she spoke.

God, he loved that word coming from her mouth directed at him. “Hmm? Need something, love?” He whispered.

“Did you carry me?”

He chuckled. “Yes, kitten.”

“Don’t do that again.”

“No promises.”

She pinched his shoulder without any pain. “Cheeky.” More silence. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“Course, angel. Wouldn’t want you anywhere else.”

“I meant your bed.”

“I did too.”

*

At one in the morning, they shared more secrets. Harry told her about some of his university days. Told her about a couple of his girlfriends and why they didn’t work out. He even chatted about some of his companions. She talked about the ex that cheated on her. How he never really understood her grief. “Sounds like he did y’a favor, love,” he said distastefully. He played with a strand of her hair running it against the side of her cheek. Harry adored her so heavily it shocked him that she didn’t have droves of men asking her to marry them.

“Well now I think he did...because I have a taste of the life I always wanted. A cute little office, almost finished with my second degree, and a cute guy that makes me breakfast and owns a porch swing,” she said dreamily. “What else does life have to offer?”

He chuckled. “A porch swing?”

“I would sleep out there if it was acceptable.” He kept that in mind. He wanted her to live here so badly. He would do anything to have her wake up in his arms always. He would chat with her at one in the morning every day as long as he lived. This was the most whole and perfect he felt in a long while.

“When’s your graduation ceremony?” The reminder she was almost done with her degree prompted him to start planning the rest of their lives. Also, he wanted to get her a really good gift.

“I’m not going,” she shook her head.

“Kitten,” his tone was admonishing. “You have to.”

She shook her head. “I went to my brother’s and Louis’ right before it happened...I wouldn’t want to upset Louis again thinking about it. Course Mom would never come,” she almost had an eyeroll in her voice. “I don’t see much point. It’s usually a family event...and I don’t really have one of those.”

He frowned. Of course, she was worried about everyone else. “Love, y’should be celebrated. S’a big deal.”

She shrugged. “I’d go by myself. I wouldn’t get any pictures...I just...I don’t know. I told El and Lou they don’t have a ceremony for my program...” He bit the inside of his lip. He would have to figure it out. Her best friends would love to go. He, of course, would be there with confetti for her. And he was certain Niall would love to go, too.

“Can y’think about it some more?” He asked quietly.

She nodded. “Sure.”

“No, really,” he rolled his eyes at her quick response.

Sighing, she took another deep breath and nodded firmly. “I will, baby.”

“Don’t distract me by calling me baby,” he said kissing her forehead.

“Did it work?” She giggled.

“Yes.”

*

Harry woke up smushed against his pillow. She was sitting up and reading the book he selected for her. Her hand was massaging against his scalp while tangling her fingers in his hair. He would love to live like this forever. It felt like magic. “D’you like it?” He mumbled and wrapped his arm over her lap.

She nodded. “It’s very good.”

He smiled and enjoyed the feel of her fingers in his hair for a little while longer. “D’you want more breakfast?” He asked. She put the book aside and wiggled until she was face to face with him. She slid her fingers over his face and admired how perfect he looked. Just a bit of sleep was still in his eyes as he tried to wake up. An adorable smile filling his face and the greenest eyes she ever had the pleasure of looking at. He looked a bit scruffy because he hadn’t shaved in a while. He didn’t usually need to shave all that often, but she noticed he hadn’t done so in over a week and a half. “What?” He asked with the most adorable smirk on his face.

He was way too good for her. Paying her for any reason, taking care of her, all of it was way too much. Especially after her terrible days. This wasn’t why he paid her. All she could think about now was sunflowers when she looked at him. The book he recommended on the side table. How he carried her to bed. In a couple months this would all be over. She would have a new job, a new apartment, and Harry wouldn’t make her breakfast anymore.

The thought saddened her so much. Once more she wished she had met him online. Or didn’t intern at Styles Incorporated. Maybe if they weren’t so tied together, they could have something more. Harry never pressured her in the rapidly approaching seven months they’d known one another.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his as she had many times before. He looped his arm around her, pulled her closer while he ran his tongue along her lip while reaching for the side of her face with his other hand. She sighed contentedly as he held her and kissed her for so long.

“Kitten,” he said pulling away from her mouth abruptly as her hands drifted down his torso and fiddled with the elastic of his pants.

Blushing, she glanced at him awkwardly. “Please?” She whispered.

“Oh hell, love,” he moaned. “Don’t need t’do that,” his voice was so deep as he mumbled the words. Her soft pleaded request, the doe-eyes...almost had him finishing before they even started. “Are y’sure?” He asked. She nodded silently. Harry kissed her again and again and again and again...

*

She was so quiet afterward. Hell, she was quiet during it. Harry was terrified that she didn’t like it...or worse regretted it. She rested her head against his chest, eyes closed. “We missed breakfast,” she whispered so casually Harry was grateful she finally spoke.

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Can still have it,” he told her.

She shook her head. “Want pasta...and garlic bread.”

“Whatever you want,” he promised.

“Whatever I want?” She hummed. You. You. You. She thought.

“M-hmm...” Forever. Whatever you want, forever. He wanted to say.

“Don’t think you’re ready for that just yet,” she whispered drawing a tantalizing little circle just below where his belt would sit.

“Insatiable,” he mumbled and rolled over, so he was hovering above her. He smiled down at her and then pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her lips. “Give me a minute,” he said and bent down to kiss the length of her jaw, down her neck, over her collarbone, the length of her sternum...down further until there was nowhere else to go.

She giggled and Harry wished with everything in him that Monday would never arrive because this was the most perfect Sunday in existence. Just her right there in his bed. A book by her side. The most beautiful smile he could dream of on the most perfect girl he could imagine.

--

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[daisyblog]

The Beginning Of The End

When We Were Young Masterlist Summary: Zayn announces he's leaving One Direction and YN and Louis break up.

YN and Louis had been bickering a lot lately, it started with small things but as the weeks went by it grew into more. Arguing about who was right, who was wrong, who did this, and who did that. It was getting worse as the weeks passed, it was starting to affect the other boys as they would avoid each other during rehearsals, not look at each other during interviews or even when they were on stage. It was becoming an issue. Management warned them that they needed to at least pretend they were getting on, or rethink being together for the sake of the band and their careers. What really broke the two was when Zayn announced he was leaving the band.

YN wished she could say she was shocked and it was the last thing she expected to leave Zayn's mouth as they both sat at the back of the tour bus drawing together, well attempting to draw in YN's case. She noticed how his whole approach and appearance had changed; his happy and mysterious ways turned into being quiet and withdrawn. Whilst the others would leave the stage and be on cloud nine, Zayn would hide away in his bunk or hotel room. YN knew Zayn's anxiety had worsened over the years, he didn't enjoy the spotlight and the lack of privacy that came with it. He just wasn't Zayn anymore and her heart broke for him.

As YN moved the pencil in her hand along the paper, she spoke "Hey..you don't have to talk if you don't want to..but..uh..are you okay?"

She noticed Zayn take a deep breath before the words stumbled passed his lip "I'm leaving the band", YN's hand stilled for a moment trying to digest the words. "You don't seem shocked?"

YN glanced at him with a shrug of her shoulders "I'm not...You haven't been enjoying it for so long...I was expecting it sooner"

"Do you hate me for it?" Zayn asked nervously.

YN was quick to turn and shake her head "I could never hate you Zayn...you're my brother..I just want you to be happy but it doesn't mean I'm not upset that you're leaving" and she pulled the Bradford boy into her arms, as they both shared a few tears together.

Zayn had asked management if he could tell his bandmates that he was leaving by himself without having them there watching their every move. So Zayn had text each member to meet at his hotel room a week before his last performance. It wasn't unusual for them all to meet some evenings in one of their rooms but it wasn't a regular occurrence anymore so the three boys were concerned reading the message, but YN just prayed they would take it well.

YN was last to arrive at the hotel room, Louis mumbling "Nice of you to turn up", which caused Harry to nudge his arm and Niall to look between the couple as he nervously chewed his fingernails.

"Shut up Lou" YN replied with a roll of her eyes before finding her sitting next to Niall on the floor with his back against the wall.

Zayn coughed grabbing everyone's attention "Uh..um..I've got something to tell you all"

"Everything okay mate?" Louis spoke, concerned about one of his best friends.

YN noticed how nervous Zayn was as he gulped "I'm..um..I'm..I'm leaving the band"

Silence took over the room and not a comfortable one. Niall continued to chew on his fingernails but with more urgency. Harry sat with arms leaning on his knees, biting at his bottom lip trying to hold back his tears. Liam and Louis stood looking at each other, then at Zayn and back at each other, almost like they were having a secret conversation. YN sat and observed each of their reactions, waiting for someone to speak.

"I'm sorry guys...I-I just can't keep doing this..It's not..just not for me anymore" Zayn broke the silence.

"Mate..you can't just leave" Louis began "We're a band..we're a family"

"I've got to Louis..It's making me ill..I had three panic attacks last week..I can't do it anymore" Zayn pleaded.

"THIS IS A FOOKIN' JOKE" Louis shouted into the room, making everyone jump.

"Don't start Lou-" YN began to speak before Louis interrupted her.

"NO DON'T TELL ME NOT TO FOOKIN' START...I'M ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY"

"Yeah and Zayn's allowed to feel what he does without anyone telling him he's wrong for it" YN calmly spoke.

Louis shook his head with a sarcastic chuckle "Of course you would defend him..anything to go against me these days" Louis accused.

"Mate-" Liam tried to intervene but Louis had pushed YN too far this time.

"Do you know what Lou not everything is about you...consider me and you done because I'm sick and tired of all of this..you're nothing but an arrogant son of a bitch" the fact that YN said that with a calm tone, scared the other boys to death. That's how they knew that she was serious. Harry and Niall's eyes met across the room, looking for some sort of comfort from each other.

YN got up from her position next to Niall and walked towards the door but not before saying "I'm sorry you had to hear that boys, it wasn't fair" before she continued to walk towards the door, not waiting for a reply.

"YN..Baby...wait" Louis panicked voice followed her, but before he could reach her YN abruptly turned around.

"Don't call me baby again..it's over"

One Direction After five incredible years, Zayn Malik has decided to leave One Direction. Niall, Harry, Liam, Louis and YN will continue as a five-piece and look forward to the forthcoming concerts of their world tour and recording their fifth album, due to be released later this year.

Zayn says: "My life with One Direction has been more than I could ever have imagined. But, after five years, I feel like it is now the right time for me to leave the band. I'd like to apologise to the fans if I've let anyone down, but I have to do what feels right in my heart. I am leaving because I want to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight. I know I have five friends for life in YN, Louis, Liam, Harry and Niall. I know they will continue to be the best band in the world."

One Direction says: "We're really sad to see Zayn go, but we totally respect his decision and send him all our love for the future. The past five years have been beyond amazing, we've gone through so much together, so we will always be friends. The five of us will now continue. We're looking forward to recording the new album and seeing all the fans on the next stage of the world tour."

Simon Cowell says: "I would like to say thank you to Zayn for everything he has done for One Direction. Since I first met Zayn in 2010, I have grown very, very fond - and immensely proud - of him. I have seen him grow in confidence and I am truly sorry to see him leave. As for One Direction, fans can rest assured that Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis and YN are hugely excited about the future of the band."

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @peterholland04 @werewolfbansheelove

[hlficlibrary]

- HL Fic Library's Friends With Benefits Fic Rec -

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

💚 nobody shines the way you do by wildestdreams / @butyouneverdo [E, 115k]

“We might as well just date.”

Harry froze in his arms, his body stilled as he slowly lifted his head up at Louis to give him the most confused expression he’d ever worn. Louis literally wanted to fuck him into the next century. “What?” Harry asked. “Are you--.”

“No,” Louis said, shaking his head before Harry could go far with that idea and trap Louis into confessing his own feelings. “I mean...like I think I have a plan?”

“A plan?” Harry said slowly. “A plan other than me going to Peter’s tomorrow and groveling for hours; maybe even days?”

The thought of Harry doing that made Louis’ skin burn, but he schooled his expression well and nodded swiftly. “There will be no groveling. Well, there will be, but not on your end.” or

Louis pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to help him win back his douchebag ex-boyfriend, but things don’t go according to plan.

💚 Where You Lay by HamPalpert / @ham-palpert [E, 86k]

When Louis's upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates' best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

💚 Don't Want Shelter by @kingsofeverything [E, 76k]

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago… When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own. During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

💚 Do Not Go Gentle by @afirethatcannotdie [E, 70k]

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

💚 If I Had Three Wishes (They'd All Be For You) by phdmama / @phd-mama [E, 66k]

When Harry Styles sets off for Provincetown, MA from his tiny hometown of Kerkhoven, MN, he’s facing an uncertain future. He’s always planned to leave, just...not like this. When he meets a gorgeous cabaret performer on his first night in P-town, little does he know how his life is about to change, or how much he has yet to learn. When they become more than just friends, Louis makes it clear he's not looking for anything serious, but at least, Harry consoles himself, they’ll always be friends. Over one extraordinary summer, Harry learns to navigate life on his own through a journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening. But when Harry’s past tragically reappears in his life, will his friendship with Louis be able to hold on?

💚 lemon eyes by @turnyourankle [E, 50k]

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

💚 I Like You, Say It Back by ishiplouis / @pocketsunshineharry [E, 43k]

“Lou, this is Harry,” Niall says, making Louis pivot straight away to look at Niall with round eyes. “Yes, that Harry,” his friend smirks.

“Hi, who are you? Niall didn’t tell me we were waiting for someone.” Harry says to Niall with a pointed look.

“I’m,” he stutters, “I’m very happy to meet you.” He decides to leave out his name and who he really is. He can already imagine the guy’s smile faltering and him leaving the pub as soon as he hears his name. That’s not what he wants, that’s not what his inner Alpha wants either.

OR the one where it takes a lot of time for Harry and Louis to figure it out. But they do, they always do, don't they?

💚 I Do by @brightgolden [E, 43k]

After moving to Los Angeles when he was just eighteen years old with the hope to be a household name in Hollywood, Harry Styles finally earns himself an Oscar several years down the road.

But his new found fame is rattled when he bumps into a certain Louis Tomlinson backstage after four long years. It doesn’t take beyond one coincidence for his past to catch up to him and Harry finds himself tirelessly trying to replace what he had lost.

💚 Drifting, Weightless by @dinosaursmate [E, 41k]

“We’ve been asked to do a gig,” Niall said slowly. “Harry and Liam are completely up for it, I am too.” “Alright. What’s the catch?” Louis asked with suspicion. “It’s, um…” Niall cleared his throat. “So, Juliana was contacted by this themed cruise company, and they want us to do a four-day One Direction cruise.” The words hung in the air as Louis’ right eyebrow slowly crept up and he fixed Niall with a stare. “Absolutely not.” Louis rolled his eyes. “You’re essentially asking me to go on a working holiday with my ex. Stranded on a boat in the ocean for four days.” “Cruise ships are huge! You don’t have to see him in your down time.” --- Harry and Louis are exes with benefits until they're not, and the Mediterranean Sea might just be the perfect place to work through some unresolved issues.

💚 I Just Want You to Stay by @sadaveniren [E, 34k]

“Remember the vet job up in Edinburgh I interviewed for right before your rut?” Louis nodded. “She just called me back. I got the job. I start next year.” Harry let out a shriek as he said the word year and he clapped his hands in delight. “Isn’t that great! Full time vet job! New animals to meet! A new environment!” He settled his eyes back on Louis, who was still standing there in front of him with wide eyes. “Isn’t it great, Lou?”

That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

aka Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.

💚 Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird [E, 19k]

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

💚 dance like waves along the wind by @maroonmoonlouis [E, 17k]

“No?” Harry inquired. “Am I not at the mercy to follow your every order? To cater to your every whim?”

Louis’s lips parted as he swallowed thickly, Harry’s eyes tracing his bobbing Adam’s apple intently.

“Are you?” were the only words he could get out in response before Harry was dipping down to press a heated kiss against his lips.

Or a Greek Mythology AU where Louis is Adonis and Harry is Poseidon. Louis would really like to move on with his everyday life without everyone on Mt. Olympus talking about his ex, who just happens to be the God of the Sea.

💚 Tilt-A-Whirl by @musketrois [E, 14k]

Louis walked away from Base and looked down at his schedule. Since it was the beginning of the season, he noticed a few new names on the list. It seemed the only one who had no training on any of the Bravo rides was someone named Harry Styles.

or Louis works at an amusement park called Wonderland and Harry Styles is a new employee.

💚 Woke Up Feeling Knotty by @jaerie [E, 7k]

Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

💚 to wrap me in paper by @juliusschmidt [E, 6k]

Louis hasn't been keeping track of his ruts, but, it turns out, Harry has.

💚 Roses in the Rain by theweightofmywords / @rockstarlouis [M, 5k]

“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”

Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.

Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.

“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

💚 What About Tonight by @taggiecb [G, 2k]

Louis loves his new career. It might just be killing him, but he loves it. What he doesn't love is how easily the boy he cares most about seems to move in and out of his life.

💚 'Tis the Damn Season by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche [M, 2k]

The door will open and he’ll smile wide and genuine at the people who raised him, his teary-eyed mother and rosey-face step-father. He won’t think about the cabin in the woods again until next December.

[lhrry]

harry loves louis so much he writes stuff like loving you is the antidote and if I was a bluebird I would fly to you you’d be the spoon dip you in honey so i could be sticking to you and hey you should we just keep driving? and wherever i go you bring me home and I’d walk through fire for you just let me adore you and my sunflower I couldn’t want you any more and cause i love you babe in every kind of way, and don’t you know that I’m here? Spinning out waiting for you to pull me in and you’re so golden and louis loves harry so much he writes stuff like come so far from princess park i’ll always need you in front of me, you’re the habit that I can’t break you’re the feeling I can’t put down you’re the shiver that I can’t shake and i come running to you like a moth into a flame you tell me take it easy but it’s easier to say wish I didn’t need so much of you I hate to say but I do and i hope I’m not asking for much just wanna be loved by you and i looked you in the eyes and saw that I was lost, for every question why you were my because and share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about, things we’d never say to someone else out loud we were only kids just tryna work it out, wonder what they’d say if they could see us now cause we made it and it was always you and their love lyrics are so idiosyncratic and different yet complementary in a way and i hate them

[rockstarlwt28]

for the prompt thing: “you don’t realise how easy it is to love you.” please <3

'Babe, you've been staring at me for the last hour...' Louis comments, tearing himself away from his novel for a second long enough to make eye contact with his husband.

Harry arches a brow, challengingly. 'That's a slight exaggeration there, Lou. It's been at least twenty minutes.'

Louis hates seeing him in distress, especially when he's meant to be working on a project, due in a matter of days. He slips in the bookmark to mark the page then slams it shut.

'Not enjoying it?'

'That's irrelevant, love. You're more important to me right now than some novel.' Louis shuffles a little, raising his leg; ankle teetering over his opposing knee. 'You have a project due, Harry - in a matter of days, yet you've done nothing but stare at me.'

Harry chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. He's grinning stupidly, pencil hovering above the page.

'What?' Louis asks with furrowed brows.

'Do you not know what my project is about this time around?' Harry asks and Louis slowly shakes his head. He sighs, still seemingly amused by his husband's cluelessness. 'It's about passions, love, admiration - sketching what your heart desires.'

'I see. Do you have something in mind you wish to portray on paper?' Louis asks.

Harry taps the pencil against the paper, deflatedly. 'I do. And I've been trying to accurately portray the subject for the past hour or two. But no amount of lines, definition and skill can portray the beauty.'

Louis motions for him to continue. He could listen to Harry talk for hours.

'I - I just can't seem to -' their eyes lock, 'capture it or help others understand my emotions in some way - you know, like give the audience a taste of what I see?' Louis nods in understanding. 'I guess it's true what they say, natural beauty is hard to place on paper - do it justice.'

'Nonsense. I know you can do it. You're an excellent artist, Harry. Always have been,' Louis compliments with a smile.

Harry smiles, eyes twinkling with contentment. 'You never did stop believing in me. It's one of the things I admire about you.'

Louis' heart flutters. 'Just like I admire you.'

'Oh Louis,' Harry mutters, light laughter supplementing his words.

'What?'

'You.'

'What about me?'

Harry chuckles. 'Are you truly that clueless?'

Louis' brow arches when he cocks his head in confusion.

'I'm sketching you.'

'Me?' He stutters. 'B - but why?'

Harry smiles. 'Because you're the person I adore with all my heart, Lou. Ever since the day we met.'

'But...'

'You're the beauty I can't capture,' he whispers, eyes dancing over Louis' flushed face. 'You're the reason I feel a million and one things - feelings that are indescribable by words, yet I can't even portray them in an artistic form either. Louis, you're the light of my life, my soulmate and somehow, after all these years of marriage and courting you still don't realise how easy it is to love you.'

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics that have a love triangle as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry Endgame -

Δ Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams / @cursethedaylight

(M, 131k, ex-fwb) When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Δ Next to your Heartbeat (where I should be) by jaded25

(M, 130k, uni) when Louis returns after his year abroad, the boy who's got his arms wrapped around Harry isn't him. It isn't a stranger either, which should make walking away all that easier. After all, friend's don't lust after their mate's boyfriends.

Δ Midnight Dancers by hazmesentir

(E, 107k, choose your own ending) Nearly a year after One Direction ends, Louis finds himself with a choice to make: go back and fix the mistakes of the past, or take a risk on something new?

Δ Bless the Day Our Heartbeats Aligned by pleasinglouis / @pleasing-louis

(E, 97k, royalty)  the one where after years of being gone, Knight Harry returns to his best friend only to find out that Louis is betrothed to another.

Δ Truth Be Told (I Never Was Yours) by JustForTommo 

(E, 76k, exes) the one where Louis and Harry have a complicated past, Louis is getting married to someone that’s not Harry, and the universe has decided to have a laugh and make Harry the wedding planner

Δ All I Wish Not To Remember by thealmightyavocado / @avocadolouie

(E, 71k, Count of Monte Cristo) A tragic tale of timeless undying love, merciless revenge, and selfless sacrifice.

Δ Far Away. by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

(M, 57k, exes) Stuck in the past with "what ifs" and "what might have beens", he sees that his friends and ex (and possible love of his life) Louis have all moved on with their lives while he finds himself questioning his own life choices, past and present.

Δ I Would Take a Whisper (If That's All You Had To Give) by @fallinglikethis

(M, 40k, photographer Louis) Unfortunately, Harry has a boyfriend. Can Louis steal his heart despite the fact that it's already supposed to be taken?

Δ Big, Bright World by RealName

(M, 35k, office) It really was just a little crush in the beginning, nothing to be worried about. Louis had never really liked anyone he'd worked with in the past, but he was sure he could control himself. 

Δ That Howling Infinite by @sweettartine

(E, 27k, uni)  the one where Louis and Harry fall in love while reading Moby Dick.

Δ speak now or forever hold your peace by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze

(E, 23k, childhood friends) the one where Harry crashes Louis’ wedding. (A Love, Rosie AU)

Δ i don't want to close my eyes (i don't want to miss a thing) by hilourry

(E, 13k, mpreg) Louis is married to Liam and pregnant with his child. Liam isn't ready to be a father, but Dr. Harry Styles is more than willing.

Δ Do You Think The Tides Know by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(T, 12k, fwb) Zayn had known from the beginning that his summer fling with Louis was just that – a summer thing, and no more. He’d known that Louis’ heart was already taken, known that this was just a chance for Louis to learn more about himself and his sexuality.

Δ Fuck You For Ruining New York City For Me by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(T, 11k, exes) Harry met Louis in college and fell in love with him in record time. Louis broke up with him in their New York apartment, so Harry left the city for good. Except now he’s back, visiting with his new boyfriend.

Δ Wholehearted by sweetums / @darlou

(E, 10k, breakup) Louis meets Harry through a threesome his boyfriend sets up.

Δ to be a better man by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain

(E, 9k, cheating) "He’s too busy crawling up my ass to notice anyone else.” Leon snarls, rolling his eyes in a dismissive shake of his head. “But if you’re so concerned, go see what he wants."

- Rare Pair Endgame -

Δ Until The End Of Time by alnima

(M, 60k, Niall/Harry, Niall/Zayn) Niall Horan has always been in love with Harry. And things are perfect until Niall meets Zayn.

Δ light somewhere, in the distance by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

(M, 26k, Zayn/Louis/Liam) a Zouiam love triangle set in the afterlife. Loosely based on The Good Place

Δ Eight Days by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 22k, Liam/Louis) Louis and Liam got hitched in Vegas, completely forgot about it for more than a decade, and it comes back to bite them. Sort of.