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mbav-obsessed · 2 years ago

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Sooo...I’m conflicted.....

TW: Grooming, grooming allegations

Okay, so I just wanna say something about Atticus’ allegations because it’s been a couple days now since finding out and I have thoughts. Ones that may have changed since my initial reaction. That, and I’ve been getting tons of anon questions regarding how I’ve been doing since then.

First off, I wanna say that people may not agree with what I’m about to say but HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT, OKAY? Please don’t immediately come for me and yell at me. Hear me out. Okay? Okay, here we go, long post ahead…….

If you’ve been following this blog for the last couple of days, you’ll know that I’ve decided to log back on here and see everything I’ve missed. That being said, you can probably imagine how shocked I was when I saw a post from someone else saying something along the lines of “Sooooo is Atticus just gonna ignore these allegations oooorrrrr….?” And I’m like “Hold the fuck up….what did I miss? WHAT ALLEGATIONS???!??!!” My jaw dropped and my heart shattered after looking it up and watching the victim’s two TikToks (the first was the initial one exposing him and the second one explaining how everything happened).

My immediate reactions were shock, anger, disappointment, disbelief....you name the negative emotion, I probably felt it. I even texted my sister and told her what was happening with proof.

My reaction was so strong because Atticus actually has responded to my comments on Instagram and Twitter multiple times over the past 9.5 years. They’re on here if you look DEEP through my archives. Nothing even close to how he responded to her, but he’s aware of my existence.

Now, I mention this because not only have I been one of his biggest fans since I was 14 (I’m now 25, turning 26 in less than a month), but I’m also in a wheelchair. In my mind, I was thinking That could have been me....I’m 2 years older than her, but he could have noticed the chair and targeted me....

Nobody has ever taken advantage of me like that, but that was the thought that went through my head because I know people can be sick and do that. I was just shocked that he would even have the audacity to talk to a 16 year old girl with THAT intention later on.

I unfollowed him on everything I had him on because why wouldn’t I? I even thought about deleting his music and MBAV off my devices.

It has been a couple days now and I’ve had time to cool down and really think. Now, I want to say that I in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM CONDONE WHAT HE DID. Because NOBODY in their 20s, no matter who they are, should ever be trying to flirt with an underaged kid, let alone a 16 year old. I also 100% believe the victim and my heart goes out to her, and I hope she continues to heal.

(Now for the part people may attack me on.....) With all of that being said...I want to give Atticus the benefit of the doubt. I hate what he did, it bothers the hell out of me, but as far as we know, he hasn’t done it to anyone else. Once is still disgusting, so I’ll probably still back off and not support him as much as I did before to keep my guard up, but I don’t think I’m going to cancel him completely.

For example, I’m still gonna watch the upcoming 3rd season of The Hardy Boys when it comes out but that’s because I’m already invested in the show, and it’ll be the last season. Same if anything ever comes up for My Babysitter’s a Vampire because come on, why the fuck wouldn’t I?! However, I will not be going out of my way to spend money on his content (his music, his movies or shows if I can’t stream them, etc). Same goes for here, like, I might reblog or make something related to a show or movie he’s in, but not actually him (interviews and whatnot). However, this may also change as time goes on or if he fucks up more.

So yeah. I’m conflicted. TL;DR: I absolutely hate what Atticus did and am disgusted by it, but I’m not outright cancelling him for it while still keeping my guard up.

You guys can do whatever. Cancel him completely or not, I get it and I support you

#Atticus Dean Mitchell #Atticus Mitchell #Long rant

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ryqoshay · 3 years ago

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OTP Ask Meme (Impatient Edition) YohaRiko

Again, I know the point of these things is to wait for followers to Ask questions from the list, but reading though this one got me thinking too much. About all of my flagships. And I wanted to answer all of the questions. And not wait for a handful to maybe be asked.

Anyway, credit again goes to @lonelypond for this version coming across my dash. Reblog that version if you want to do this thing correctly.

Also, just because I’ve already answered these here, I’ve expanded on some for various reasons and left others short if I believe the reasons are obvious. So if you still want to do the whole interactive thing, you can still ask for clarification or whatever.

And finally, there will be spoilers ahead for Happy Life, and to a lesser degree the AU, both for scenes I’ve written and posted, as well as some that remain in my Notes and WIP Warehouse. I’ll try to remember to link to the chapters mentioned.

1. Who wakes up first?

Riko. Yohane is very much not a morning person, especially after a late night of streaming.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Yohane. See above. However, if she doesn’t have time commitments for the day, Riko may occasionally want to stay in bed for some activities other than sleeping.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

Either, though they are fond of getting ready together and helping one another, so in these cases, they’re done at the same time.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Yohane has many rituals for inducing sleep involving all manner of meditation, incense, herbal tea, topical rubs, nightmare wards and more. Whether or not they work is up to debate, but Riko is comforted by the sentiment, as portrayed in Dream Warden. Yohane herself takes comfort from being near those she loves, particularly Riko, while she sleeps.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

Yohane, though it depends on the type of movie.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

More often Riko, though Yohane does enjoy watching a sleeping Riko from time to time.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Yohane. 100% Yohane. And she is well aware of how cheesy they are. And she knows how much Riko loves them.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

Yohane gets competitive over games in general.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Yohane is more likely to do so, though Riko can be absentminded on occasion.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Yohane.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Both have their reasons for their particularness in displaying their shelving; Riko likes to be able to quickly locate her favorite doujin while Yohane is considerate of the background for her ritual streams.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Yohane. With as many different attempts at different voices and accents as she can.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Early on, both, though for different reasons; Yohane out of excitement and Riko out of fear. Later, Yohane retains her excitement while Riko becomes more lax in her reactions.

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Yohane.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Either

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Yohane knows she burns easily and is pretty good at remembering, though Riko is mindful that her girlfriend can be careless at times.

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Riko.

18. Who gets the window seat?

Probably Yohane. Likely accompanied by some statement about missing being able to fly under her own power.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Yohane.

20. What do they argue about the most?

Early after moving in together, Yohane had a bad habit of bringing home stray pets, despite it being against the policy of the apartment complex, as depicted in Hibagon. These arguments subsided once the policy was changed, as depicted in Phobetor.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Yohane, though Riko certainly has her moments.

22. Who texts more often?

Yohane.

23. Who is better with kids?

Yohane is better at keeping kids entertained with her antics while Riko is better at tending to their care, be it feeding them, calming them down when they’re upset or applying first aid; Yohane is pretty good with first aid as well, having had far too much practice on herself.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Debatable. As I mentioned in the Notes for A Roost for Weary Wings, Yohane is capable of producing higher quality results, but also fails more spectacularly. Riko may lack the skills and confidence to produce highly extravagant meals, but she is far more consistent in producing edible food.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Riko. Despite what one may assume from my prior answer. Yohane will still eat it, not only because she has a strange sense of taste, but also because her beloved Riri made it for her and she will be damned before letting it go to waste.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Possibly Yohane.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Yohane.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Definitely Yohane.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

Yohane. She’ll even bring her own spoon, as depicted in Valentine’s Taste Test.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

Riko doesn’t mind it. Yohane dislikes it but is willing to balance the workload after Riko cooked.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

For food, especially exotic or exceptionally spicy food? Yohane. Although she does have a bit of a sweet tooth, as her favorites would imply. For enacting scenes from her favorite doujinshi with her girlfriend? Riko.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Both, though for slightly different reasons. Riko believes it is romantic to know certain things about one’s partner. Yohane believes it is the duty of a fallen angel to know such things about their little demons… or fellow angels?

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

Yohane will often eat too fast and give herself a headache. Her favorite flavors are those of her favorite foods, chocolate and strawberry. Riko eats slower, more often out of a sundae dish than a cone, in part because a dish is better for eating at her pace, but also because it’s easier for Yohane to “steal” a bite or two. She enjoys Yohane’s favorites, but is also fond of mint and vanilla.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

Absolutely. Riko prefers going to museums or orchestra performances, though she has dragged Yohane to several doujin stores over the years. Yohane prefers higher energy environments like amusement parks, though she has dragged Riko to several gothic Lolita clothing stores and occult shops over the years. Both girls look forward to events like Comiket.

35. What do they smell when they smell Amortentia?

Riko smells the slightly sulfuric scent of boiling eggs her parents made often while she was growing up, the clean, salty air of Uchiura, and a spicy, sweet and earthy scent to which she cannot match a specific memory. Yohane smells sweet black lilies, the lingering smoke from a myriad of incense that always permeates occult shops, and a spicy, sweet and earthy scent to which she cannot match a specific memory.

The last scent for both is an idea I had while Googling random stuff for this question. It’s basically how one website describe the smell of Dragon’s Blood resin when burned as incense. I want to bring it up in a scene or two in both HL and HL(AU), though there will be a difference between the kinds found here on Earth and up in Heaven, which may end up as a minor connecting plot point.

I realize this leaves Riko without something that she knows is directly related to Yohane, but I was trying to avoid using incense too much, as it already had three entries between them. Also, it technically is related to Yohane, she just doesn’t realize it right away. I’m hoping whatever I write someday will make that connection for her. Not that she’ll ever smell Amortentia in HL, but…

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

It’s no secret that Yohane loves her snuggles. Riko is quieter about her desires, but can be quite insistent, nonetheless.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Riko. Yohane is far more vocal about her discomfort, especially when it comes to temperature.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Riko is more likely to do so, though Yohane might as well. That said, I don’t believe I have them owning a vehicle in HL, so this probably won’t come into play anytime soon in my works.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Riko, as the more consistent cook of the pair, she is more likely to make their lunch bentos for the day. (Bonus: What does it say?) Casual reminders of her love for her Yocchan.

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Both are quite affectionate, though Yohane is far more likely to initiate, especially in public though even in private.

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Riko is most often the big spoon. Though Yohane might try to have one believe elsewise.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Riko loves Yohane’s smile when she is passionate about something, be it her streams or games or whatever. Yohane loves the way Riko’s fingers dance across the keyboard.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Yohane becomes increasingly aware of Riko’s behavior and attitude toward Chika and has to make a conscious effort to avoid holding anything against the idol group’s leader; she likes Chika as a friend, after all, and is thankful that she brought her into the group in the first place. Riko starts to include Yohane in her fantasies.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Yocchan and Riri

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Riko is constantly concerned that Yohane’s abysmal luck will eventually cause her actual harm, as in more than just catching a cold or getting a scrape or small cut. Yohane also fears that her abysmal luck will adversely affect Riko.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Yohane all the time, in public and in private. Riko, in private.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Yohane said it first in Revelations.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

That’s actually a good question. I haven’t decided yet for this ship. I mean I have plans for revealing that the blonde Mari knows, but as for the couple actually telling people… hrm… Off the top of my head, I’d be more likely to say Yohane.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Both are quite capable of entertaining themselves without the other. Riko can play the piano and Yohane can play her games until their fingers cramp if they are not actively doing something together. And they have Phobetor and Prelude to pet and take on walks and play with. It’s not until bedtime that they become more aware of the other’s absence.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Depends. Yohane is more the emotional rollercoaster and could easily be overwhelmed by kindness from the girl for whom she held a one-sided crush for far too long. Riko is also likely to moved, though more through something that fits into some trope she loves in her doujin; good thing Yohane can be quite genre-savvy when she wants.

#YohaRiko #YoshiRiko #Happy Life

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eleanor-writes-stuff · 6 years ago

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a language that i never knew existed before - Day 19

Here’s an unprompted canon-compliant ficlet for @castle-and-crowns. I’ve been wanting to write you a little something as a sign of my appreciation for all your support and encouragement, and when I saw your tags on @bensolodefensesquad‘s post I knew I had to go for it.

It’s not a proper, complete recreation of the post, but here’s a post-TLJ piece in which Rey shows Kylo that not all is lost. I hope you enjoy it, and happy holidays!

If anyone else would like a Reylo ficlet this holiday season, we’ve got two prompts left!

25 Days of Reylo Also available on AO3

“Get up.”

He would, he should, but everything hurts and for once, that’s not a good thing. Where once his pain had fueled his delusions of invincibility, now it serves only as a reminder of his mortality, of how frail and weak and hopeless he truly is without the Dark side.

“Get up, damn it!”

Rey looms over him, the twin glows of her ice-blue saberstaff bathing her in light. She’s breathing hard, though whether from exertion or frustration he cannot tell; another way that the Force has well and truly abandoned him, leaving him to drift aimlessly through this galaxy without the call of Light or Dark, without the anchoring presence of the Bond.

“Get up and fight me!” Rey demands, her voice both a shriek and a sob somehow. Tears stream down her face, yet her eyes burn with rage; he’ll never truly understand her, never did even when their minds were practically one. Now, now when the space where she used to be is just another dark spot of missed possibilities and crushing regret… he doesn’t stand a chance where Rey is concerned, not at understanding her, not at beating her, not at winning her.

Kylo thumbs off his crackling saber, lets it go and watches it roll away on the uneven ground even as he remains on his knees. “For what, Rey?” he croaks, parched from hours of cat-and-mouse and days of neglecting his needs. “What is left to fight for?”

“What are you–” Rey furrows her brows at him warily, breaks apart her staff and holds both ends over him as if this is some ploy of his, as if he has any energy or effort or desire left to change the tides of this battle.

As if he has any reason to survive this battle.

“My throne has been taken from me, my knights have turned on me, and my whole family is dead, Rey. Dead, because of me,” he finally admits out loud for the first time since his mother’s death, giving voice to the thing that’s been sitting in his throat and on his chest ever since she died and took everything with her. The day Leia Organa passed, she took not only herself but a part of her son, and he’s only lost more and more since. “I have nothing,” Kylo Ren realizes in that instance, and somehow everything is so much easier, so much clearer now that he’s accepted that, now that he can stop trying so hard.

“There’s nothing left to fight for,” he tells Rey, who’s lowered her sabers now as more tears silently roll down her cheeks. “There’s nothing left to live for,” Kylo decides, embracing that knowledge and the peace it brings him, the strength it gives him to say–

“Just do it, Rey.” He takes one last look at her, refreshes his memories of her eyes and her lips and her freckles. One last smile would’ve been nice, but he won’t ask that of her. Instead, Kylo closes his eyes with a sigh and dips his head, baring the back of his neck to her. “Just end it, please. I know I don’t deserve your mercy after everything but… please, Rey. This is what the Force wants.”

Not that it’s told him so, not that it’s told him anything since the day he woke up and everything was gone somehow, the sinister whispers of the Dark and the desperate pleas of the Light and the soothing presence of Rey taken, stolen from him and hidden someplace he’ll never be able to find.

But that’s a message in and of itself, isn’t it?

The hum of Rey’s saber seems especially loud to him now, in these final moments when it might be the last thing he’ll ever hear. At least it’s so much more soothing than the unstable crackle of his own, the last awful sound so many people heard before he ended their lives. Kylo keeps his eyes closed and his head down, prays Rey will at least grace him with her voice one last time before she completes the deed and finally brings balance back to the Force–

“No,” Rey says through gritted teeth, and suddenly the soothing hum disappears, leaving only the sounds of his pounding heart and her heavy breathing to echo in his ears.

“This is not what the Force wants,” she declares firmly, and he opens his eyes when something falls to the ground only to find her on her knees in front of him, her extinguished saber a few feet away. “It’s what the First Order wants, and it’s what the Resistance wants, and it’s what your guilt wants, but your death is not what the Force wants, Ben Solo.”

The sound of that name on her lips is the only thing that’s truly hurt him since his mother’s death, that’s actually made him feel anything in weeks. He wants to tell her that he doesn’t deserve it anymore, just as he doesn’t deserve these spare moments she’s giving him, but Rey isn’t done just yet.

“Close your eyes,” she demands. “Close your eyes and tell me what the Force really wants, Ben.”

There it is again, and it almost hurts as much as having to tell her– “I can’t,” Kylo admits, closing his eyes out of shame rather than compliance. “I can’t feel the Force anymore,” he confesses in a whisper.

A warm hand slips into his, gives him a squeeze. “I’ll help you,” Rey says so gently, so painfully gently, and he can’t bear to tell her that that’s not how it works but he has to, she has to know that–

Rey leans forward, balances herself with one hand on his thigh as she presses her forehead to his, and suddenly for the first time in nearly a week it all comes flooding back: every life-form on this planet, every signature in the galaxy, the voices of Light and Dark forever speaking over each other like a discordant duet, Rey Rey Rey–

And between it all, the Force.

Always moving and breathing and pulsing, always ebbing and flowing, pushing and pulling, and in between all of that movement it stops just long enough to show him–

Balance.

Atonement.

Change.

His eyes fly open to find Rey watching him with a small smile.

“Now do you see?” she asks quietly, still holding his hand.

Kylo blinks away his vision, but the Force remains in the back of his mind, a soothing presence almost as welcome as Rey’s rather than the intrusive, demanding voices of Dark and Light.

“Yes,” he admits quietly, reluctantly. “Yes but… but I can’t, Rey, I can’t do it alone, I have nothing left–”

“You have me,” Rey says, eyes blazing with determination, and it’s only then that he realizes that her hand is still on his thigh – a warm, welcome weight even as her nails dig into his skin when she moves in closer, rests all her weight on that one hand as she draws herself up so that she’s so close he nearly goes cross-eyed trying to look at her. “You have me, Ben. You’re not alone,” she whispers, and something flashes in her eyes then, a familiar, heart-wrenching vulnerability that has him speaking without thought.

“Neither are you,” he echoes those sacred words from so long ago, from a moment that felt heavy with promise and possibility and something new–

– a moment much like this one, Kylo realizes as Rey surges forward almost desperately, violently, and then suddenly she’s kissing him and breathing life back into him and whispering without words, without breaking their kiss.

I’ll be there with you, Rey promises, her voice in his mind like birdsong heralding a new dawn after the longest night of the year. Every step of the way, Ben.

And with her by his side, he knows that this time things will be different.

This is a little over thirteen hundred words, but I'm semi-okay with how it turned out. Now just six more left to go! (Hopefully they'll actually stay ficlets instead of ballooning into mini one-shots!)

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment!

#reylo #reyben #kylo ren/rey #rey/kylo ren #rey/ben solo #star wars #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #ficlet: language that i never knew #my fics

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epwhales · 6 years ago

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Basic Info:

Name : Eric

Age: 23

Pronouns: he/him

Location: CA, US

Discord:

Rabb.it:

FFN: is this a final fantasy game

AO3: I don’t go on as often i can’t even remember my username

Deviantart:i will always regret my deviantart

Instagram: epwhales

Shop(s): etsy

Other: What more social medias do you people know of??

Phan History:

1. General Phan since: 2012 ish. Waay back in high school years. Got back into it just recently.

2. Part of tumblr phandom since: I’m newborn. Literally joined Tumblr last week.

3. One sentence summary of how you got into Phantom: 2004 Movie then painfully and slowly realized that it was a musical and then fell in love with the onstage performances.

4. Phantom-related performances attended: I’m actually going to see the US tour on 8/25 (Quentin Leeeeeee) and once more on 9/1. After that I’ll be heading to London to West End to watch 3 showings during my week there in Feb next year! I hope to go and watch LND too if it tours again next year.

5. Adaptations you’re familiar with: Leroux book, ALW, Lon Chaney, Charles Dance, Poto on Ice, and I guess if you consider Kay’s book an overall welcomed adaptation.

6. Other relevant tidbits: Not much. I had my bout of Phandom while in high school and now I’m back in full throttle.

Blog:

1. Main blog: epwhales

2. Phantom sideblog, if applicable: Maybe an NSFW one in the future?

3. Other sideblogs:

4. Your blog focus/aesthetic: how do i work tumblr how does this work

5. Types of fan content you produce: Well, still newborn, but I want to put out artwork and doodles. I’m currently working on putting out a fan comic and want to animate a few things. I could never attempt fanfiction I don’t think I have the mental capacity to write well

6. Types of content you reblog: For now I’m just realizing that I never used tumblr for Poto content and now I feel like I’m discovering the musical all over again!

7. Do you post or reblog NSFW content?: Not yet, but not here

8. Other general interests: eating good shit

Phan favorites:

1. Favorite adaptation(s): There are a handful of retellings and books that I’ve read that were the closest to the original and I enjoy those a lot. I guess I would pick the ALW musical. The original book will forever be my favorite though.

2. Favorite character(s): Daroga and Erik

3. Ship(s) you ship, if any: I typically stray towards E/C, but I welcome all other ships if they’re done well! I’ve fallen in love with E and OC’s. I can get into Pharoga for sure. I’ve even seen Erik and Philippe (which was really weird, but it was kind of okay)

4. Favorite actor(s): Ben Lewis, Alexander Lewis, Hugh Panaro, Gina Beck, Hadley Fraiser, Peter Joback, Simon Gleeson, Charles Dance, Lon Chaney and more!

5. Other Phantom-related obsessions: Beka Duke’s Fantomstein! It’s what motivated me to even try and be with phandom community and try my hand at my own fancomic (since I’m not even going to attempt fanfiction)

Fandom Involvement:

1. Favorite phan blogs: Well, again very new to tumblr’s phandom community, but I have to throw all the love and credit at Coatntails’s art for inspiring me to go back to tumblr. Plus plenty of other blogs that I haven’t even seen yet.

2. Content you’d love to see more of: I enjoy seeing Raoul stuff! I 100% love anything involving the Daroga too.

3. Phandom discord server(s) that you frequent: n/a, I barely got onto Tumblr and instagram what makes you think I would even know any discord channels!!

4. Do you/would you attend phan-hosted streams? If so, what would you like to see streamed? I want to definitely catch some streams when I can! Not even sure much what I would see other then other adaptations? Maybe an art stream, but that’s it?

5. Do you read fanfiction? If so, what kind(s)? I most definitely read fanfiction during my high school years and especially of Poto (and even lnd). Right now I’m actually reading published fan books and I love nearly all of them! If I had more time I would go back into fanfiction.net/A03, but that’s only when I know I’m allowed to waste away my hours finding a good read in the thousands of titles.

6. Anything else you’d like to add?Thanks for this fun survey! I normally don’t do any survey’s or fill-me-outs, but since I have barely anyone following me I feel like I can embarrass myself a lot easier! Hope to meet more Phans in the future

#phansurvey2018

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fieryrondo · 7 years ago

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my top 25 favorite programs from the 2017-2018 season

So. We survived Olympic season. (Or did we?)

A few lessons gleaned from the past ten months:

the season is indeed long

momentum is fleeting

in the wake of disaster there will always be skaters who shine (thank god)

eating pineapples and writing prayer fic is extremely therapeutic

Olympics hype really is all that

being an fs fan is equal parts suffering and reward, though often times it seems more of the former and less of the latter.

See below for twenty five of my favorite programs from what has been a most tumultuous season, roughly in order of enjoyment. There is no rhyme or reason to this list as it is purely subjective based on my taste, which is already questionable to begin with. To avoid cluttering the top spots with skaters I absolutely stan and would gladly die for, I have limited myself to one skater per program.

Re: performances from Olympics. It was notoriously difficult to find footage for many of these skates. Thanks ISU I’ve done my best to link to broadcast footage whenever possible but have resorted to a few fancam links for some of these performances. Please do not manipulate fancam footage without permission from the uploader; I’ve been guilty of reblogging gif-sets made from fancam footage (which 99% of the time have the watermark removed and are clearly uploaded without consent and credit to the fancam creator) and am now trying to be careful with what I reblog.

Without further ado, here are my top picks:

25. Jimmy Ma’s SP, Propaganda/Turn Down for What, 2018 US National Championships

A guilty pleasure but something this fun can’t be bad right? This is the kind of skating program I’d show to friends and family in real life who dismiss figure skating as a dated sport characterized by heavily used classical warhorse music almost everyone recognizes but can’t actually name.

24. Ross Miner’s FS, Queen Medley, 2018 US National Championships

While Nathan skated a very technically strong program at US Nationals, the free skate of the night for me went to Ross Miner, who roused the crowd into a roar when he had the skate of his career and made a convincing bid for the Olympic team. Fun and electric, this program sparkled with energy from start to finish.

23. Moa Iwano’s SP, Asturias, 2017 JGP Austria

I generally don’t pay much attention to the junior skaters (so much skating, so little time!), but this talented lady from Kobe caught my eye during the JGP series. There were quite a few tangos this season but this one was by far the best one (that’s right, the best tango this season came from a 13-year-old). While her jump technique is not the best, Moa has an impressive sense of musicality beyond most skaters her age. I’ll definitely be following her more closely in the seasons to come.

22. Keegan Messing’s FS, Chaplin Medley, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

Thanks to a certain Spanish skater, I’ve developed a soft spot for Chaplin programs and while Keegan didn’t manage to skate this program clean, I really enjoyed it. It’s cheeky, charming, charismatic and full of fun choreographic details that bring the program to life. With an exodus of Canadian men retiring this season, Keegan will be among the oldest. He really hit his stride this season; here’s hoping he snags his first Canadian title next season!

21. Patrick Chan’s FS, Hallelujah, 2017 Skate Canada

Enjoyed...is not quite the right word to describe my feelings when I saw this particular skate via live stream. Shocked to pieces was more like it, and perhaps an overwhelming sadness to see him struggle so much. This skate would set the tone for the rest of Patrick’s final competitive season--a mentally, physically and emotionally taxing end to a competitive career most skaters can only dream of having. While this skate was a technical disaster--he skated a total of only two clean triples--it is nonetheless beautiful in the way a withering flower is; a remnant of elegance, an echo of years of skill, a lament for what could have been.

20. Yuna Shiraiwa’s FS, Pictures at an Exhibition, 2017 Internationaux de France

I had a hard time with this one because I adore both of Yuna’s programs this season, set to two very interesting pieces of music. Her FS, “Pictures at an Exhibition” won by a slim margin mostly because I love Mussorgsky and “Pictures at an Exhibition” is one of my favorite suites of all time--I also realize now that it’s really really difficult music to skate to because of the million tempo changes, key changes and the fact that half of the movements are very slow and not at all suited to skating. It’s a highly ambitious program for a 15-year-old and choreographically there are a couple of abrupt music changes that break up the flow (it’s mostly variations of the Promenade theme with a few other movements spliced in) but I really appreciated the challenge she took with a riskier but interesting piece of music. Looking forward to more exciting programs next season!

19. Nathan Chen’s FS, Mao’s Last Dancer, 2017 US International Classic

Super early in the season when skater after skater hopped onboard the recycling train like there was no tomorrow, I was ecstatic to hear Nathan bring forth two brand new programs. While Nemesis proved to be an instant hit, I was drawn to the free, an intriguing blend of Chinese music and Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring (avant-garde eargasm!!!). Mao’s Last Dancer had the potential to become a truly memorable and complete program. While the strategy to strip down the choreography in favor of hitting the technical elements later in the season was a practical choice, alas the performance I enjoyed the most happened to be its debut.

18. Cheng Peng/Yang Jin’s SP, Assassin’s Tango, 2017 Finlandia Trophy

What a rough season they’ve had :/ But I loved their short program, which they only managed to skate clean internationally exactly once this season. For some reason, after Finlandia, this short never really clicked for them (missing the cutoff for the free at Olympics was tragic) and they ended up returning to their tried and tested short from last season for their post-Olympics redemption in Milan. It’s a cute and fun program and they skated it best here.

17. Vanessa James/Morgan Cipres’ FS, The Sound of Silence, 2018 World Championships

After a strong start to the season led to a lackluster 4th place finish at Europeans, James/Cipres scrapped their initial free program to return to a program they were much more comfortable with, a strategic move that paid off when they rebounded at the Olympics and at Worlds with season’s bests and a shiny Worlds medal :) While it is not a technically perfect performance (see their 2017 World Team Trophy for a clean skate), there’s a lot of power and passion in it.

16. Carolina Kostner’s SP, Ne me quitte pas, 2018 World Championships

Simply divine! I have nothing else to add except that this was a breathtakingly exquisite performance, and I’m glad Carolina was able to perform this program to perfection in front of her home crowd.

15. Maia Shibutani/Alex Shibutani’s FD, Paradise, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

I admit I wasn’t immediately sold on the Shibutanis’ final program to their self-proclaimed “Trilogy”. “Fix You” was an amazing program, the best program of their career so far, and as with all sequels, it was tough to imagine “Paradise” could be better. But somehow things started to pull together once they made a few tweaks midway through the season and they pulled off a magical performance in Pyeongchang. Technically brilliant but also brimming with emotion, a performance absolutely worthy of Olympic bronze.

14. Elizabet Tursynbaeva’s FS, The Prayer, 2017 Internationaux de France

I fell in love with Elizabet last season (particularly her free skate to “Princess Mononoke”) and was very excited to see what programs should would do next. And she did not disappoint. Besides having the only acceptable Carmen this season, I also loved her free skate to Celine Dion’s “The Prayer”- it’s light and lyrical, a good fit for her. She still rushes through the choreography and some of her spins look really weird to me but she has made enormous strides in her presentation despite being hampered with a serious hip injury midway through the season. She’s lovely to watch, so floaty and quick over the ice.

13. Adam Rippon’s FS, Birds, 2017 NHK Trophy

What can I say? I loved this program last season and seeing it again this season was even more spectacular. The attentiveness to the music, the choreographic touches with bird movements, the meditative atmosphere. It’s just a very beautiful program. Adam has such a vibrant personality that obviously shines in his more “showy” programs, but I think I enjoy seeing his softer, lyrical programs best.

12. Wenjing Sui/Cong Han’s FS, Turandot, 2017 NHK Trophy

As a fairly new fan, I don’t have the same level of distaste for warhorses as veteran fans do (I imagine this will change once I have more years of figure skating watching under my belt). It’s not as poignant or as memorable as “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” from last season, but I admit I still very much enjoyed this skate, if only because Sui/Han were the ones skating it. Did I wish they had picked something a little more interesting? Yes, but they’re Sui/Han. They can make anything look good.

11. Kana Muramoto/Chris Reed’s FD, The Last Emperor/Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, 2018 World Championships

Kana is the best thing that has ever happened to Japanese ice dance (Chris, you’re cool too.) I’m so weak for this genre of music and ever since I discovered a certain tiny queen skated to Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, I’ve been waiting to hear it again. I’m a sucker for nature imagery and you really get the sensation of the passage of time and the movement of the seasons. Watching this is like taking a breath of spring air.

10. Boyang Jin’s SP, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, 2018 Four Continents Championships

Meh movie, great music. My favorite Boyang program to date, it was really exciting to see him attempt something more serious, a heftier program that would expand the emotional range of his skating. His short program was brilliant at Olympics, but I enjoyed Four Continents a little more because it was such a comeback after an injury-filled first half of the season. Out of the new generation of rising quadsters, he’s made the most improvement and I have no doubt he’ll continue to grow over the next quad. Onwards and upwards, Boyang!

9. Madison Hubbell/Zachary Donohue’s FD, Across the Sky/Caught Out in the Rain, 2018 US National Championships

My favorite free dance of the season! You can always count on Hubbell/Donohue to do something a little offbeat. Blues is a bit of an unusual choice of music for a free dance (which tend to be either lyrical or warhorsey drama) but it fits them like a glove. After building some good momentum earlier this season, a few fatal errors in the free including an invalidated choreographic sequence left them trailing in 4th, just shy of the podium at the Olympics. They rebounded to claim their first Worlds medal a month later, which was a special moment to witness but I felt their Nationals performance was the most passionately skated.

8. Tatsuki Machida’s EX, Swan Lake: Siegfried and His Destiny, 2017 Carnival on Ice

Go big or go home. The time and technical requirements of amateur competition are clearly too restrictive for Tatsuki’s genius :) Why cram the greatest hits of Swan Lake into a paltry two-minute program when you can really do it justice by skating to it for almost eight minutes instead? Tatsuki spares no expense for his epic-length programs. Every moment is meticulously thought out and is as extra af. We’re treated to almost a minute of dramatic music and a skater-less spotlight before Tatsuki appears. The star of Swan Lake is typically the swan (or the black swan) but no, that’s too conventional; let’s make Siegfried the guy everyone’s talking about instead. Drama hands! Floofy hair action! Seven straight seconds of twizzles in time with the tempo change! Dramatique feather posing because why not. Did that twenty seconds of absolute silence between movements make you uncomfortable? Good, because it’s all eyes on me! Skating so gorgeous you wouldn’t even notice there are only two jumps (both amazingly timed to the music), this is a visual and aural feast for the eyes. It’s a Swan Lake to outclass all other Swan Lakes that have been, that are, and that will be.

7. Akiko Suzuki’s EX, O, 2018 The Legends

[inserts crying emoji] A regret I have is not becoming a fan when Akiko was still skating competitively. I love this program soso much and seeing it brought back again was a real treat. The choreographic sequence still sends shivers down my spine <333

6. Tessa Virtue/Scott Moir’s FD, Moulin Rouge, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

Scintillating. Flawless. The pinnacle of ice dance. It’s the kind of performance that just sears into your mind for a long, long time. Though they didn’t get perfect marks here, it’s as perfect a skate you’ll find.

5. Wakaba Higuchi’s FS, Skyfall, 2018 World Championships

Such a cool and sleek program. I like the blue dress more than this one but this was easily the free skate of the ladies in Milan for me. A passionate and powerful skate, it was really nice to see Wakaba come back strong after a disappointing Nationals finish and hit it at Worlds. Reigning World Silver Medalist! (now please give her the PCS she deserves)

4. Aliona Savchenko/Bruno Massot’s FS, La terre vue du ciel, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

Wow. Just wow. I went in as a Sui/Han fan but wow, this free skate is gorgeous and sweeps me away every time I watch it. And they performed it to perfection at GPF, Olympics, and Worlds. The choreography is amazing and unique, and apparently full of little touches to previous programs (like the star catching moment from “The Lighthouse”, their free program last season). Dominant, majestic, and absolutely exhilarating to watch. I can watch this again and again and never tire of it.

3. Satoko Miyahara’s FS, Madame Butterfly, 2017-18 Japanese National Championships

While her short program is more loved (as it should be, it is an amazing work of art, Lori really outdid herself, you should go watch it ^^), I think I enjoyed her free skate more simply because it’s given her so many Moments this season. Coming back from a slew of injuries, including a serious hip injury from last season, it was highly questionable if she would even be able to make it to the Olympics at all. But Satoko silenced all doubters again and again, at Skate America and then at Japanese Nationals, where she gave the free skate of her career with an emotive and stunning performance that carried her to her Olympic dream on butterfly wings ^^. Triumphant, mesmeric, spectacular-it is a Madame Butterfly that rewrites the tragic ending into one of hope, a story that is entirely Satoko’s.

2. Javier Fernandez’s FS, Man of La Mancha, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

(password to video link: man of la mancha)

A skater from a small federation, from a country where figure skating barely exists, Javier has written history again and again. And what a journey it has been! From finishing 35th at his first Worlds appearance in 2007, Javier would go on to qualify for his first Olympics in Vancouver and become the first Spanish skater to win Europeans, to win Worlds, and ultimately, to win an Olympic medal. It feels appropriate that “Man of La Mancha”, an unapologetically Spanish program that perfectly captures the essence of Javier’s career--”to dream the impossible dream”--is to be the program to stake his Olympic dream on, And his Olympic dream truly seemed almost impossible in the months leading up to Pyeongchang. An uncharacteristically disastrous free at the Cup of China disqualified him from making the Grand Prix Final for the first time since 2013. And while his Chaplin short clicked for him (also excellent, highly recommended), he struggled with the free all season long. Unabashedly romantic, with just the right amount of earnest cheese (the best kind) and aged whimsy, “Man of La Mancha” is my favorite Javier free skate and I’m so glad he was able to skate it to its fullest potential at the competition that mattered most.

1. Yuzuru Hanyu’s FS, Seimei, 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics

What makes a skate great? Legendary? Memorable? It’s easy to jump to the pristine “Seimei” in Barcelona, the ethereal cleanliness of “Hope & Legacy” in Helsinki, or even the world-record breaking (again) “Ballade No.1″ in Montreal. While all of these skates are indeed great, legendary, and certainly memorable, I find my thoughts turning instead to a young seventeen-year-old Romeo in Nice, unleashing his battle cry after a dramatic fall as he fought through a sprained ankle to win his first Worlds medal. Clean performances are definitely great, but great skates don’t need to be clean. At the end of the day, what makes a skate great is in the struggles overcome, hardships endured, fears mastered, doubts silenced; in spite of it all, to manage to find joy and fulfillment in not only what you have accomplished but also in the thorny path that has led you there. It’s not as perfect as Barcelona, but the Seimei in Pyeongchang offers a different kind of magnificence, a triumph in more ways than one.

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clevercatchphrase · 7 years ago

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2017 in review, and goals for 2018

If I had to describe 2017 in one word it would be... monotonous. Sure, there were plenty of ups and downs, but for the most part, especially the latter 6 months, I just felt like I was going through the motions, holding my nose to the grind stone, doing work and paying off student loans. 2017 blew by me, and I remember thinking each month passed by with unusal quickness. There's a strange sense of disociation with that, like I wasn't really connected to reality for most of the year, and instead watched it pass me by from a seperate temporal window. In a weird way it may have been a bit of a godsend as well. I hear 2017 was hard for a lot of people, but feeling so disonnected from the year may have protected me and cushioned the blow in a sense.

I lost a family member this year in early june. I knew it was coming ever since january as I hated having to watch them deteriorate and get worse and worse until they finally passed. The three months leading up to it and the three months after were particularly hard and left me feeling unable to write or draw or do anything productive. I still miss them terribly. I always will. But I hope I won't let it immobilize me as much this year as it did last year.

Anyway, Let's review my goals for last year and see what I've accomplished. I’ve a lot to say, so for brevity’s sake I’ve put it all under the cut.

GOALS FOR 2017 1) Finish my 50 billion fan fictions so I can get back to drawing Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA. The depression I got halfway through the year throughly put a halt on this. I haven't even finished one of the fics I've started in 2016. I got close, seeing as i participated in NaNoWriMo this year to try and force myself to finish, but I still need to revise and edit all that I've written and the motivation is non existant. GOD, I have so many stories too, all of them still undertale fan fiction because I'm still not over that game. I'll list them all when I share my goals for this year later below. 2)Draw in 2 pages of my sketch book each week so I'll finish a sketch book in a year. I was SO CLOSE with this one! I filled out 95 pages! But you know what i discovered in august? I realized that my 100 page sketch book.... was actually 150 pages! Oh well! I drew more this year than I thought i would! Just because i didn't hit 100 pages, doesn't mean I didn't accomplish something! 3) Finish 14 out of the remaining 27 lessons on my duolingo course I went fucking above and beyond with this one. I hit this goal back in may, and then I completely finished up the danish duolingo course by november. I also passed my 1095 day streak which translates to doing duolingo daily for OVER 3 YEARS STRAIGHT. I still practice daily to build my vocabulary, and I know I can't speak it for the life of me, or follow along with fast speakers, but give me a few minutes and I can probably read it for you. Funny how that works, where I can understand danish if it's written out, but ask me to translate from english to danish and I struggle like a butterfly in a tumble dryer. 4) Become passibly fluent in ASL I have this box of 600 ASL flash cards, and this year I practiced two of them a day until I got through the entire box. I certainly learned a bunch of new words but I wouldn't say I was fluent yet. I certainly don't know all the grammar rules yet. I HAVE been able to sign with people at my job, though I do rely heavily on fingerspelling still. Most everyone I talked with seemed to know I was trying and they seemed really excited that I could understand them if they were patient with me. I put more of my focus on Danish last year, but now that I'm done with Danish, maybe I can focust more on ASL. My sister told me about this site similar to duolingo called "memrise" that actually has an ASL course, so you can bet I'll be looking into that. 5) Read the entire dictionary I did this! I kept two spiral note books and wrote down any words I thought were cool or interesting! I haven't gone back and re-read the words I wrote down, but maybe I will this year! It was exhausting. It was weird. I still can't believe I spent about 200 hours last year doing this. 6) Read one new book every month Much like my sketch book goal, I almost completed this one. I kept it up every month until October, and then I just... stopped. I read more than I thought this year, though I ended up usually waiting until the last week of each month to read, and I also cheated by counting the dictionary as one of the things I read (hey, it's a book, ain't it?) I also re-read old books that I know I like, so not entirely 10 new books were read this year. Reading 1 new book a month isn't one of my goals this year, but I hope to read more new stuff reguardless, 7) Actually use the tutorials and references I reblog Seeing as I barely did any digitial art this year, I can't say I did this one. 8) Do more art streams I think my goal was to stream once a month. I clearly didn't do this. I DID stream in 2017, I just didn't tell anyone. Idk why, I just... went live for people to see but didn't let anyone know I did. I also only streamed like... twice? sigh... So... out of the 8 goals I set, I would say I accomplished close to half. I read the dictionary, I finished my danish language course (which I'm counting as two completed goals) and combining the "read 1 new book a month" and "draw 100 pages in a sketch book" I'll count that as one completed goal. I went through all my ASL cards, though I'm not fluent, OH! I also wanted to pay off 6k loan that I had. I want to count this one as a success because I DID FUCKING PAY OVER 6 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN LOANS THIS YEAR. I got a surprise loan I had no idea about in june that was 1500 dollars, which threw me off. I managed to pay it off in 2 months, BUT IF THAT LOAN HAD NEVER EXISTED I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE FINISHED PAYING OFF THE 6K ONE. I've got a little over a thousand left to pay on the 6k loan now, which I will complete by the end of January. I'm so close to being under 10k in debt... GOALS FOR 2018 1)Go from being 5 figures in student loan debt down to 4 figures in debt (pay off 2 out of 4 loans) If everything goes according to Keikaku I'll achieve this by the end of June. This has to factor in things like updating my car registration in april, oil changes, tune ups, tire rotation, gas and food expenses, but as long as I don't get fired I should be fine! 2) Stretch Daily Not exercise. I never exercise. But it would be nice to increase my flexibility. 3) STOP TOUCHING YOUR GODDAMN FACE/ find an effective acne treatment I also want to try washing my face daily. Im fucking 25. I shouldn't have this many pimples. 4) Do another song comic I made A lyrictale for Undertale at the end of 2015 in ten days. I want to make another. I already have it scripted, now I just need to do it. 5) Do at least one art stream a month. Hey, maybe I can stream the next song comic I do. Sure, it'd spoil the song and story for everyone, but doesn't that sound fun? 6)Practice ASL I just started looking into Memrise and their ASL courses. They actually have A LOT, AND! THEY HAVE SIGN LANGUAGE COURSES FOR OTHER COUNTRIES! This year is gonna be fun. (Also, the only reason I want to learn ASL because of Undertale. I'll let you figure out how they are connected) 7) Sew 4 stuffed animals I started sewwing a Hobbes plush in the middle of last year. His body is finished. I just never did the head. The other three stuffed animals I want to make I will keep a secret because I love to keep people guessing. 8) Make two AMVs There are two songs I want to put to Avatar; The Last Airbender, and Avatar; The Legend of Korra. I have about half the footage... I just... need to rewatch the shows and put the clips together. Hey, maybe after I find all the clips I can do a stream of that as well. 9) Last but not least, finish my many, MANY Undertale Fan Fics. a. You Monster (34 out of 37 chapters are written, but only 29 are posted) b. Finish the "Of Two Minds" series (it's explicit don't look) c. Color Theory (A chasriel one shot) d. Something Left Behind (Terrible AU Idea #647) e. Let's Get Real (Self insert, joke, parody thing that will also be explicit) f. Game Day! (something about soccer games with Mettaton along the same vain as Field Trip!) g. Would You Like Fries With That (Nicepants because there's not enough of it in the world) h. Science Fair! (something with Undyne and school projects along the same vain as Field Trip!) i. One that is so horribly dark and fucked that I won't even describe it here. Welp! Those are my goals for 2018! What are your goals for 2018? Whatever they are, I wish you success and improvement, health and wealth! Stay safe this year! I love you all~

#new year's resolutions #long post

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daretodanceblog · 7 years ago

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Looking Back on 2017

Happy 2018 everyone! This past year has definitely not been the best year for me. There have been a lot of challenges, coupled with what feels like a lack of progress in my life and career. However, besides a general 'meh'-ness, I have no real reason to complain. I am healthy and safe, surrounded by loving support, and working towards my dreams. I even had a couple of great highlights, such as starting university and being chosen as a Sadler's Wells Social Mover. I made some wonderful memories, too. Even though there were major challenges for me in 2017, it's challenges that strengthen you and help you to grow, and to prepare you for the things you're asking for. I want to look back on my 2017 and share some thoughts...

JANUARY

2017 began at full-throttle as I was preparing for audition season. I was filling out application forms, taking photographs and trying to get into my best shape. I started a new job as a teaching assistant at a girls' secondary school, which I loved, and I reduced my working hours to 3 days a week. I also started teaching for the first time, a ballet club for children aged 5-7.

FEBRUARY

February saw the beginning of auditions, and I had plenty. As well as London auditions, over the next couple of months I travelled to Glasgow, Manchester and the Scottish highlands to audition. Some went well, others not so well. I had one memorable, and awful, moment at my Royal Conservatoire Scotland audition in which the heel of my pointe shoe slipped off whilst I was doing posé turns on the diagonal (completely alone), and my foot completely twisted out of the shoe!

MARCH

In the middle of audition season, our landlady decided she was selling our flat and we'd have to move out. We managed to push the date back to March 31st, so that I could finish my auditions, but it definitely made it difficult to focus. On top of that, rejection after rejection from ballet schools were coming through the post. I decided to give up work, because I really needed to focus on dance. It was hard to say goodbye to a job and colleagues I loved, but I knew it was what I needed to do. A couple of days after that, we had to say goodbye to our home. I think this was definitely an awful month in 2017, and to be honest, I never quite bounced back to my usual optimism and positivity.

APRIL

At the beginning of April, I had stopped working and Jake and I were living temporarily with his parents. We spent two weeks there before staying for another fortnight with a good friend in Shoreditch. I'm so grateful to both Jakes' parents and our friends for helping us out in our time of greatest need and letting us stay. We didn't have a lot of time to find a new place, or much money put aside thanks to the abrupt manner in which we were turfed out of our previous home, so we took the first place that looked feasible, a house-share in Morden (which is all the way out in Zone 4 at the end of the Northern line!). It was clean, the other couple were nice, and the room was a really good size, so we took it, and moved in on the last day of April.

MAY

I had hoped May might be the end of our worries, now we were in our new home, however this house didn't, and still doesn't, feel quite like home to us. We don't like living so far out of the way, or living in a house share in our twenties. I'd been rejected by most of the courses I'd auditioned for, only receiving offers from the University of Surrey and the University of Roehampton. I chose Roehampton, but I wasn't yet sure if I'd actually take up my place on the course. I got back in to ballet classes, having been on and off with them throughout all the moving, and re-branded this blog as Dare to Dance!

JUNE- AUGUST

The summer was relatively uneventful for me. I kept going to classes, and decided that I would take up my place at Roehampton after all. That gave me something to look forward to, and life plodded along. Jake was working away, I was still struggling on in ballet, and we had lots of lovely days out and adventures. I also launched my YouTube channel!

SEPTEMBER

In September, I started a new chapter of my life and career as I started university. There were highs and lows from the outset, but I loved being a student and having more purpose to my everyday life once again (even though I was crazy busy!). I also was chosen as a Sadler's Wells Social Mover, which was a massive highlight of my year!

OCTOBER

In October, the autumn term really got underway. I learned a lot in my technique classes, made friends, and jumped in a stream for a uni assignment! I also went out on Hallowe'en and Jake and I produced an absolutely stellar Hallowe'en costume of Rasputin and the Empress Alexandra, if I do say so myself! However there was a big downside to all this, and that there was a really weird vibe going on at my ballet school, so I took a little break.

NOVEMBER

In November, the workload at uni seemed to build into an avalanche, and I turned 25, cueing a big stress-out about my age and career! However I enjoyed some absolutely lovely birthday celebrations and time with family. From mid-November onwards you likely barely heard from me at all as I was completely buried with uni work! I desperately missed ballet, and tried multiple times to reach someone at my school to talk about coming back, however unfortunately they weren't hearing me. Not doing ballet has really been really hard.

DECEMBER

December went much the same way as November, with tons of work, massive stress, and not enough ballet! However, I rolled my sleeves up, got through it, and got it done. I had a lovely Christmas with family, and now I'm out of the other side of all my work and stress and can see the year more clearly. It's been really hard. I feel like I really lost something when I got so many rejections after auditions, and I felt I lost it all over again when I couldn't go back to ballet. We also lost what we truly considered our home, and we haven't quite found it again. However, we are looking forward to moving later in the year, and in the meantime we have a lovely living space where we are. Now that I've been able to look back on what has been making me unhappy, I feel cleansed of that negativity. I love the new year, and I really think that I can take the lessons I learned in 2017 forwards into a new stage in my life and career. I'm less concerned about what should, could and might have been, more grateful for everything that I have, and determined to achieve more this year because I know I can, not because I fear not "making it".

How was 2017 for you guys? I hope that the year treated you well, with opportunities, progress, and good memories. However even if it didn't, now is the time to take stock and decide what you want to get out of 2018! Reblog/ reply and let me know some of the things that stood out for you this year.

In the meantime, I have a few more start-of-year posts planned, including a summary of the amazing performances I saw in 2017, so watch out for those!

Happy new year!

Jessica x

#2017 #reflection #dance #dancer #ballet #ballerina #training #looking back #2018 #new year #happy new year #dare to dance #blog #blogger #life

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superfluffysupernatural · 7 years ago

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How Could You

Part 8: Peter

Word Count: 1955

Warnings: angst, mild smut

Summary: The brothers discover many new things about you, although they thought they had known everything there was to know. Sam makes you more upset than you thought even possible.

A/N: Hope you guys like this one! Please like, reblog, send asks!!!

~Rae

Sam pushed himself up onto his elbows, alert. “Wait, what? [Y/N], why would you let me do that? God, I'm so stupid!” Sam said. You placed your hand on his cheek. “Sam… can we save this conversation for another time? You don't need to worry about me getting pregnant, okay? I just don't like talking about it.” As soon as you told him, Sam knew. You couldn't have kids. Sam nodded sadly, and you knew he wanted to talk about it. “Look, I'm sorry I didn't say anything about protection at all, but I honestly just wasn't even thinking and I-” Sam interrupted you. “It's okay. I just want you to know that whenever you're ready to talk about it with me, I'm here for you.” You nodded and wrapped your arms around Sam, pulling him against you in a tight hug. “I'm sorry,” you whimpered into his neck. “Shhh, it's okay,” he murmured back to you, kissing your collarbone. “Let's take a shower and go to bed.” You nodded. “Can I stay in here with you?” you asked. “Well, I didn't think you'd be sleeping by yourself,” he teased. You snickered and shoved his chest. “Okay, fine, stupid question,” you said. ~~~ “So who do you guys want to send to Heaven?” you asked as the three of you stood in Kevin’s safeboat. The second trial had been translated, and Dean had to deliver an innocent soul in Hell unto Heaven. Dean and Sam looked at each other. “We already took Bobby. Everyone else we could would be impossible to get to. Dad, Adam…” Sam trailed off. Dean spoke up, “It has to be someone I could find, some random sucker that sold their soul, someone they wouldn't expect me to pick up. I've already been there once, I have to be careful this time. For all we know, Crowley’s got Hell on full lockdown.” “But how do we know they're innocent if they're just some random sucker that sold their soul?” Sam asked. “[Y/N],” Kevin said. You hadn't been paying much attention, and when you looked up, the boys were all staring at you. “What?” you asked. “You've gotta know someone innocent downstairs,” Kevin replied. You froze, and a wave of memory crashed against you, making you collapse onto your knees. All you heard was ringing and you couldn't see what was going on around you, sunspots blocking your vision. To Sam, Dean, and Kevin, you just kept mumbling, “Peter, Pete, P...Peter…. Peter, Pete…” The men all rushed over to you, Sam crouching down on your level to hold you up. He looked up at Kevin. “Who's Peter?” he asked. “Her son,” Kevin murmured. ~~~ You held your two year old against your chest as you sat on the floor of your closet, hidden behind coats and piles of shoes and old holiday wrapping paper. But you were sure there was no hiding from this invisible monster, whatever the hell it was. Peter began to whimper. “Shhh, honey it's okay. Shhh,” you whispered to him, running your fingers through his thin hair. You could hear the snarling outside, and the sound of an animal’s footsteps ceased. You braced yourself, wrapping your arms tightly around Peter and squeezing your eyes shut. Then it all happened so quickly. The invisible monster busting through the door, ripping baby Peter from your grip and throwing him behind itself. When it had quieted you thought it had gotten what it wanted- until you felt it tear through your abdomen. You cried out in pain and lost all feeling below the belt. Right before blacking out, you heard Peter’s screams until finally they faded away. The invisible monster had silenced him, and left you alone to die. ~~~ You woke up in your bed in the bunker. When you turned your head, you saw Dean sitting at your desk. “What happened?” you asked, catching his attention. “[Y/N]... you… you had a panic attack… presumably from PTSD you developed after your son died,” he told you. Your heartbeat picked up. “How do you know about my son? Does Sam know?” “You kept mumbling his name when you blacked out, [Y/N],” Dean said. “Kevin told us he was your son. He got a vision of what happened to you… [Y/N] I'm so sorry… I wish I had known…” “Don't. We don't talk about it. Not now, not ever. Do you understand?” you said sternly, trying to purge the memory. Dean nodded. “Okay. I'll go get Sam.” He stood weakly and left, Sam returning in his place a few minutes later. Sam stood near the doorway, daring not come any closer. It looked like he was about to cry, like he had lost a son too. “Was it Dean’s?” he asked. You paused. How dare he. “What?” you spat. “After what just happened… all you have to ask me is if he was Dean’s?” “Kevin couldn't tell us when it happened, only that it did,” Sam replied. “Dean wants to know, too. I take it you didn't use protection with him, either.” But as soon as he said it, he knew he fucked up. “Fuck you, Sam!” you yelled. “I thought I could trust you! I fucking thought I was in love with you! And all you have to fucking say to me is some snapback about me sleeping with Dean three years ago when we were both drunk?!” By the end of your rant, tears were streaming down your face. All of the guilt immediately hit Sam at once, and he ran to your bedside. “Baby, I-” “Don't you ‘baby’ me! Get out!” you cried. Sam gently placed a hand on your cheek. “I didn't mean it that way, love. Please, please don't cry,” he murmured. You swatted his hand away. “I said get out!” you screamed. You saw Sam’s heart break. He recoiled, physically hurt. He slowly stood up and trudged out. You cried for about another twenty minutes before you heard a knock on the doorframe and Dean came in. “He wasn't mine,” he said as he sat on the bed next to you. “He happened long before I came along, didn't he?” Dean looked over at you and brushed your hair out of your face. You turned your head to face him and nodded. “I had him when I was 21. The Hellhound came for us when I was 23. I met you when I was 25. My uterus was too damaged for even the angel that found me to heal. At least, mostly. That's why I don't have any scars. And it's why I can't have kids.” Dean nodded. After a few minutes of silence, he said, “I'll save Peter.” You leaned over and kissed Dean, placing your hand on the nape of his neck. Every single one of Dean’s instincts told him not to kiss you back, but he couldn't help himself. He wrapped his arm around your waist and rolled on top of you, grinding himself against you. You felt his hard dick pressing into you through your clothes, and god it felt good. But not as good as Sam. You pushed Dean off of you. “I can't, Dean. Not again. I can't do this to you and I can't do this to Sam. He may have pissed me off like hell just now, but I… I still don't want to lose him. And I can't keep giving you these signals that I want you when I don't. Not the way I want Sam.” You got up out of bed and jogged to Sam’s room, leaving Dean frustrated and self-loathing in your bed. He hated himself for being attracted to you the way he was. You banged on Sam’s door. “Sam, it's me,” you said. You didn't even have to ask him to open up, as you'd anticipated. The door immediately opened and you threw yourself into Sam’s arms. “I'm sorry,” you whined into his neck. “I love you. I love you even though you have royally pissed me off, I love you,” you rambled. “The hellhound attacked us two years before I ever even met Dean, and it's why I can't have kids, okay? That's everything, I swear. I just want you and only you and I'll never ever give you any more reasons to think otherwise.” Sam hesitantly hugged you back. “It's okay. I messed up and I said some things I shouldn't have said.” You looked up at him and saw his worrisome eyes. “I'm in love with you,” he said. “And I'm not letting you go just because I said some stupid shit when I let my brother get into my head….” You knew there was a but coming. “But?” you asked. Sam sighed. “But I think it's best that you stay away from here. At least until Dean is done with the trials. I don't think you should be around both of us, not with this kind of shit going on. It's just too much. Go hunt something, stay with Kevin, anything. Just don't be here. Don't watch Dean kill himself. Don't watch me fall apart. I want you, all to myself, no distractions. The only way that can be is when this is all over.” “Sam, please don't push me away like this…” you argued. “I'm a hunter too, I can handle this. I've been doing this shit almost as long as you. And I'm not leaving.” “[Y/N], I'm not letting you stay,” he said firmly. “Please don't argue with me.” And after six hours of arguing about it, and you not caving in one bit, Sam and Dean had called for the help of an angel friend, Castiel. You'd heard things about him, and briefly encountered him at the bunker from time to time, but weren't very acquainted with him. All it took for him to sedate you while the Winchesters packed your belongings was two fingers to the forehead and you were out. The next thing you knew, you were in a brand new house in a brand new neighborhood. Thank god you hadn't lost your memories of the brothers- you knew what angels were capable of with just a tap on the head. You sat up on a couch in the living room of the house, and turned your head to see Castiel watching over you. “So I'm just trapped here now until Sam comes to get me, is that it?” you spat. “This is more for Sam and Dean’s sakes, than yours, [Y/N]. Don't take it personal. This is something that they must do on their own. They don't want any risk of distraction ruining their chance at closing the gates of Hell,” Castiel told you in that gravelly voice of his. You suddenly realized that none of this had to do with how stubborn you were or how much you wanted to help. You had come into their lives at a bad time. Although the Winchesters wanted to help you and take care of you, they really didn't have the time or attention or proper safety net. “So are you going to be babysitting me for the next few weeks?” you asked, submitting to the fact that you couldn't go back to them. “No need. I've erased the location of the bunker from your memory and engraved enochian symbols into your rib cage to hide you from any angel, demon, or witch that may come looking for you. So don't go looking for trouble,” Castiel said. “So no hunting?” you asked. “Hunt anything you want other than the supernatural beings I've just mentioned. Don't call Sam or Dean.” You nodded and bit your tongue in your mouth. “Okay Castiel.”

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fenfyre · 8 years ago

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Ive got a question! How do you manage to write continuously? Ive been struggling a lot in that area since I dont write that often, but when i do its 4k words. You seem to write pretty regularly. Do you have some tips for those who fail to do so? And how can my writing attract attention? when i post something and it only gets 2 likes and no reblogs its pretty unsatisfying... keep being awesome! and keep up the great work~ -a secret admirer who hopes that their english grammar didnt sound too bad

First of all thank you for your message and please don’t worry, your English is fine! I wouldn’t have known you’re not a native speaker if you hadn’t mentioned it (but maybe that’s cause I’m also not a native speaker, who knows).I am definitely no authority on good writing habits and there’s as many different ways to write as there’s writers out there. But you asked how I manage to write regularly so I’ll just tell you about my habits. Just keep in mind this is what works for me personally, you can tweak and change my tips however you want to make them fit for you!I think it’s important to mention that I don’t always manage to write as much as I do right now. That’s mostly because I have a lot of free time at the moment. When I’m stressed I write way less, maybe once or twice a week or not at all. Because then I’m tired and don’t have any motivation left after a long day at uni and let’s face it, writing is damn hard. But I also greatly enjoy it, creating something makes me feel good about myself and helps me cope in difficult situations. So when motivation is low and I feel like just crawling into bed instead of sitting down in front of the laptop I try to remind myself that writing is not some chore I need to get done but that it’s something I truly, deeply love and that I’ll feel so much better after getting a few words down.That’s one of the first steps for me. Making writing precious and part of my me time, thinking of it as a form of self-care. Maybe keeping a little writing journal can help with developing a positive attitude towards writing. Just jot down a few words about your mood before and after each writing session. If you’re similar to me you might notice a trend that looks like this “Before: tired, annoyed, anxious. After: proud, more relaxed and happy”Then I make sure to choose a time for my writing where I can be uninterrupted and focus just on the task on hand. Maybe that’s early in the morning before classes, in the afternoon after work or at night before bed, all depends on when I can make time to be productive for a bit. I get cozy, make myself some tea and get a few snacks, put on some music (I generally like instrumental or sometimes indie for the smuttier stuff) and get to work. Before I start I always have a certain goal in mind, usually to hit 750 words. That was the number to hit every day during a challenge I took part in years ago and that kind of stuck with me. I work in 25 minute intervals, taking small breaks to review my process and it usually only takes me two of those to hit my goal. See, I’m not a particularly fast writer, I average about 900-1000 words an hour and getting down 4k like you in a single setting would be near impossible for me, even on a good day where I do nothing but write. But that’s fine, everyone has their own style. I managed to build somewhat of a habit, 50 minutes of writing a day. 50 minutes of me time to reboot and refresh and that accumulates with time into longer stories.I also recently started using a free app to track my writing, where I can put in what projects I’m working on with overall and daily word count goals, a writing log and graphic charts to track my progress, reminders to write and all kinds of neat little gimmicks. It’s called Writeometer in the Playstore if you want to take a look. It also keeps track of your writing streak so there’s an extra nudge not to slack off when you’ve built a nice one. Definitely helps to keep the momentum going!Another big motivation for me is to post here, get a bit of feedback and feel like people are waiting for more. I’ve been really lucky with and so grateful for all my sweet followers who keep supporting me, reblogging my things and sending cute messages. But it’s hard to get out there and I understand the frustration of working hard on something, being proud of it, wanting to share it and not getting any feedback at all. I’ve been there. Still am a lot of the time, depending on what I’m working on. I’m not a big name myself and I deeply appreciate every note floating my way.It’s hard for writers on tumblr. Fics are so much harder to consume than fanart, you can’t tell by a single glance if you like them and want to share them, blobs of text don’t look cute on blogs and many people don’t take the time to work their way into a story when they’re just idly scrolling down their dash. That doesn’t mean artists don’t deserve every bit of the attention they’re getting! It just would be nice for writers to be recognized as well. But that’s not something we can really help so here’s a few things you can do:Get out there, make friends and have fun with them! Reach out inside your fandoms and see if you can get connected, maybe visit streams of artists you like to get to know people (shoutout to fabulous sintral, I still love you all very much I’m just a little shit!) or just beat down your anxiety enough to message someone whose blog you enjoy. Offer to fill prompts or write fic for fanart you adore. It’s insanely flattering to get art for your fics or fics for you art and if they brag and squee about it, that’s exposure. And you made someone happy! (This isn’t to say you should only try to make friends to get more notes on your work, that’s kind of a dick move. I’m just saying that getting connected is fun and will help get your stuff out there).It’s also helpful to not chill in mostly dead fandoms all the time (like me) (sorry snk fandom I heard there’s shit happening again soon. Hang in there). I got the most feedback on the Yuuri on Ice fics I wrote when the fandom was at it’s peak. So where there’s actually lots of people there’s more chances of being recognized. Though I also understand if your passion lies somewhere less crowded. Don’t force yourself to write something just because you think you might reach more people with it.Overall I’m not an expert on how to best attract attention. I think a lot of it is just luck and persistence. Keep writing, keep putting yourself out there, have a good time and in the end you’ll find cool people with similar interests. At least that worked for me?All the best to you, anon! And if there’s any more questions feel free to send me another message.

#anonymous #answered #nice things #fen gives advice #that's apparently a thing i do sometimes?#who knew #also this got long #i'm sorry #long post

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atopfourthwall · 8 years ago

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State of the Wall: 1-25-17

You know the drill! Check behind the cut to see updates on various series, a list of upcoming episodes, and more!

Schedule of Upcoming Episodes 1/30 – The Star Wars #4 2/6 – PATREON: Spectacular Spider-Man episode 1×10 – “Persona” 2/13 – Youngblood #9 2/20 – The A-Team #2 2/27 – PATREON: The Batman/Superman Movie: World’s Finest 3/6 – See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 3/13 – See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 3/20 – Reagan’s Raiders #1 3/27 – PATREON: Fist of the North Star, ch. 1

As always, the schedule is subject to change due to unforeseen circumstances, a lack of material to work with in the review, or any other factors that might come up.

Storyline Like last time, I do apologize about how slow-moving the storyline is going. Rest assured, it’s going to end this year before October, since I already have plans for the Halloween storyline this year that REQUIRES “The Sleepwalker” to be done with. Hopefully I can finish it even before the summer, but I make no promises.

T-Shirts In case you missed the announcement, I’m finally on SharkRobot.com with T-Shirts! Well, right now, it’s just T-shirt singular, since there is one new T-shirt available: a long-awaited I AM A MAN! Shirt!

If you’re wondering why I haven’t uploaded all my previous shirts to the site yet, well there’s a simple reason for that: I can’t… exactly. The thing is that part of Shark Robot’s system is that the more different colors there are for their shirts, the more expensive it is to print them. And let’s face it, a lot of my old shirts were very colorful. Now that’s not NECESSARILY a deal-breaker. What is, however, is the fact that Shark Robot also only keeps certain shirts permanently. In this case, it requires around 19 pre-orders before they allow a shirt to stay up permanently. And since I know all of you have limited income, that means I have to be very picky about what shirts I put up for sale.

As such, expect a new shirt except every few months (maybe 2-3 per year) will be made available. This shirt will be selected by Patreon contributors from a selection of 5 or so choices I’ll present (the shirt designs that don’t make it will likely carry over for each vote), then make that one shirt available for pre-order and (hopefully) it’ll become permanent. This should hopefully keep your wallets from getting overburdened too much and some shirt designs not getting a chance to become part of your wardrobe.

One of the great things about Shark Robot as opposed to previous t-shirt services I’ve used is that buying wholesale shirts from them is A LOT cheaper. It’s what’s kept me from bringing t-shirts to conventions for sale. However, with Shark Robot I can now bring t-shirts to conventions! However, this does raise up a question and I’ll need help from you guys with. See, yes, I can bring shirts… but you all come in various sizes and I have limited space to bring stuff with me, meaning I have to prioritize certain sizes over others. If I were to bring shirts to a convention, what size would you want that would encourage you to buy them? They would likely still be the $20 they’re listed for online.

History of Power Rangers Well, I’m proud to announce since they actually DO have release dates now for the rest of Super DinoCharge (and they’re relatively close by), that I can announce a release date for the History of Power Rangers episode for it! DinoCharge: April 27th Ninja Steel: N/A

As always, this date is subject to change depending on how busy I am with other projects… aaaand other projects are going to start really ramping up as we head into the summer. The revised versions of videos are of course continuing, and in case you haven’t seen, I released two videos for a revised version of Zeo! You can find those videos HERE and HERE! Expect a revised version of Turbo before the end of February. In Space… will be trickier, as you can see in a vlog I’ve put up on my youtube channel answering questions for newcomers to History of Power Rangers.

As a reminder, I do plan on seeing the upcoming reboot movie that’s coming out in March, but it will likely only result in a vlog unless I’m either inspired enough to review it (unlikely) or if a Patreon requests a review (provided it’s still past the one-year cutoff date).

Let’s Play Pokémon Omicron The next stream date for Pokémon Omicron is March 13th at 7 PM Central time! The stream link, as always, is Available HERE. The last stream was sadly cut short due to me being extremely tired. Hoping that won’t be the same here. As I’ve said before, I’m hoping to wrap up Pokémon Omicron this year (at the very least finishing the game in streams this year). I know there’s Post-game content, but the current plan is to end it after the Elite 4 are defeated.

As I’ve said in PO Unboxing videos, I want to start doing more gaming content for the channel, but I don’t want an unfinished Let’s Play hanging over my head with it, hence why I’m rushing to get more Omicron out. I’m sorry it still seems like I’m only releasing one or two per week, but fortunately the process has gotten a lot faster. And more fun, frankly, since I decided to have other people along for the ride. On that same note, thanks to everyone who has been sending in gaming material for future Let’s Plays! Hopefully we’ll have a chance to really sink our teeth into it sooner rather than later.

PO Unboxing Here is your regular reminders that PO Unboxing has no set schedule and to please think carefully about what you send – is it something I’ve already received? Is it something I’ve already reviewed? Has Linkara been saying in these videos for a while “Oh God, please slow down on sending stuff we still haven’t organized it?” Fortunately, I don’t think we’re at the point of CLOSING the PO Box (which, in case you didn’t know, the address for the box can be found on the Contact page via the top header), but it’s certainly getting close. January has thankfully slowed down the amount of stuff sent our way and I hope that continues for a while.

The Next DVD While the Movie and Compilation Disc from last year were awesome (and I thank you all for your continued support of them), I want to try to keep introducing a new DVD at least once per year with fresh content, and sadly we have been severely lacking for a proper NEW DVD of episodes for quite a while. As a reminder, old storyline segments cannot go on the DVDs due to using copyrighted music and not having the original files anymore for them, so the DVDs will ALWAYS contain new, never-before-seen content.

Speaking of, the current plan is to hopefully include the long-awaited Nostalgia Critic review of the AT4W Movie. That had been planned for the Movie’s DVD, but had to be scrapped due to Doug’s own busy schedule. Stuff can still happen, but it’s currently on the table for it. Otherwise, the plan is to have this one emulate the volume 2 DVD: -Two new Atop the Fourth Wall episodes -Three Longboxes -Two Riffs

That will of course change depending on how much space is available on the DVD. I do not currently know at this time whether it will be sold through Screenwave as had happened with the movie and Compilation Disc, since while it’s great to have them available on Amazon, it’s a bit harder for me to have a constant stock of the DVDs in for conventions. More info will become available as it is available.

I’m also announcing the name of the DVD – Vol. 3: Character Reboot, wherein the reviews and riffs will focus on books featuring a character with the same name as more familiar heroes, but obviously very different (and very public domain).

Patreon I’m still taking suggestions for things to help with the Patreon, but thankfully I HAVE found something that might work to increase it’s numbers: namely, Patreon-exclusive polls and information. Yes, it seems there was a serge in patrons after I announced the poll for Event Comics Month, which will be occurring in May. That’s why the next T-shirt vote will be on Patreon for patrons only. We’ll definitely be trying this more often, especially in April when I announce the first viewers’ choice – where I’ll present three comics I could be reviewing and let you guys vote on what you’d like it to be. For now, thanks for the support you’ve given and I’m hoping you will continue to support the show in the future!

Conventions Animinneapolis – Once again, for any of you Minnesota locals who want to meet me, I’ll be at Animinneapolis at the Hyatt Regency Minneapolis in, well, Minneapolis on May 26-28!

Anime Midwest – I’ll of course be at Anime Midwest again at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare in Rosemont, Illinois on July 7-9!

Expect a few more old favorites to pop up as we get closer to them, like ConBravo or Too Many Games, but at this time no formal invitation has been sent out, so I make no announcement, either. I’ll of course update the list if anything else comes up between now and the next State of the Wall.

That’s it for now! Questions? Comments? Responses to my own queries? Let me know in the comments (or replies/reblogs/etc. on Tumblr)!

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gossamer-scraps · 6 years ago

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All of them; you don’t even have to reblog the post, since you’re me.

- gossamer-scraps

Thanks for the ask!

1. When did you start playing?

Ashlynne's irl birthday is November 1, 2014.

2. What was your first characters race/class (profession)?

Sylvari guardian. As previously discussed, it was not what I was expecting.

3. How many characters do you have?

Depends how you count: ~11 that I play; 20 total.

4. Whats your favourite race?

Haven't got one.

5. Whats your least favourite race?

the male norn model Ahem. I definitely have the fewest charr, but that really comes down to the lack of armor skins that I thought would look interesting/good on their models. So while it's not true from a lore perspective by any means, from a purely ingame perspective I guess it’s charr.

6. What do you prefer PvE or PVP?

PvE. I bet I might like PvP as well, but I just never came across an opportunity to really get into it.

7. Have you spent IRL money on the gem shop?

Once, on a present for someone. Given how things have gone with Arenanet, I feel a bit bad about not having been slightly looser with my wallet. I do think the developers deserve more than the (I just checked) US$135 I've spent for more than 4 years of entertainment.

8. Whats your favourite zone? 9. Whats your favourite city? 11. Whats a piece of gear you always transmute because you love the look of it so much? 17. Whats your best guild wars experience? 18. Do you have a favourite character from the lore? 21. Favourite weapon skin? 38. Best memory in guild wars? 40. What bothers you the most about the game if anything?

Oh, man. I bet back when I played non-raid content in this game and developed my own fanlore, I'd have really interesting answers for these if I gave them some thought. But I really don't remember at the moment. I may come back to some of these.

10. Whats your favourite PVP map?

Absolutely no idea. I've only played like 4 of them. I can tell you which ones aren't my favorite (all of the ones I've played).

12. How many achievement points do you have?

10,534. I expend no effort collecting AP; in fact, I used to enjoy not having that many.

13. Is it okay to ask to RP with you?

Sure! I prefer to do that kind of thing outside of the game, though, for a number of reasons; the most important of which is that I like to keep records of everything in case something really compelling comes out of it and it could be made into a story.

14. Is your guild open to new members?

The actual guild I rep: Yep! They're not on Tumblr though. The "guild" I made, [PS] Please Stack: Sure, why the hell not. Message me if you want in.

15. Have you ever been really angry at the game? why?

Yeah, probably? Though most instances that might count are being really angry at people's behaviors within the game. Things bother me about the game itself all the time, but I can't think of a time off the top of my head that would qualify as "really angry." I'd put the over/under as like 5 times though.

16. Do you enjoy jumping puzzles?

Yes, especially when I experience them entirely within the game. I haven't done a ton oh I'm apparently at 35/44 on the achievement category, though a lot of jumping puzzle experiences in the game aren't on there. But in any case I don't usually go out of my way to do them.

19. Is there a class you like the idea of but the gameplay doesn’t match up for you?

Years ago I wrote a post about this. But... pretty much all of them don't match up in my opinion. I treat the lore implications of each class completely separately from the game-mechanical implications, with few exceptions. As far as classes I particularly dislike the play of but want to like, revenant definitely takes the cake, as I can't stand any of its unique mechanics (energy, not customizing your utilities, few weapon choices, the animations, etc). Guardian too: I still want the defensive, supporty knight class I signed up for at launch whose mechanics all apparently went to chronomancer. (Necromancer doesn't qualify because neither the idea nor the gameplay appeals to me particularly.)

20. How far have you made it in SAB (Super Adventure Box) if you had the chance to play it?

I think I beat W1 on normal? I don't remember, it didn't interest me that much.

22. Do you have a legendary? Which one or ones?

I have nevermore and sunrise/twilight/eternity. If I collected 3 more chak eggs I'd enough stuff and gold on me to instantly craft a set of legendary armor and another legendary weapon, but neither seems worth the cost.

23. Whats your favourite legendary?

Hopefully the upcoming ring, since I'll probably make it in that case. But hm... maybe the wielded version of the flameseeker prophesies? Or nevermore? I wish astralaria's metal parts were less flat-looking, maybe with more than one color to visually differentiate the gears. The shining blade's pretty nice too.

24. Is there a race you hate with a passion?

I looked through the whole list, and... nah. The closest would be halloween creatures, due to a general dislike for most of the holiday, but that’s not their fault, and they don't do anything particularly bothersome to me. Can't blame them for being pointless and unfun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

25. What class do you hate to face in PVP?

Let's go with scourge, because standing in a shade and dying of conditions is kind of boring? But honestly I have no idea; I don't PvP.

26. Are there any players you look up to?

Hmm. In small ways, a few, like DEKeyz from back in the day. But I don't think there's really been a player who I met who I thought, "I aspire to live up to the example you set" or anything like that. Rare is the player whose skill at ingame things is notable who isn't also annoying or an asshole in some way, and the ones who I only know from public comments don't get a pass until proven otherwise. If I was being optimistic, I’d like to think a few people might be okay, like Knox from [Ren]. And purely on ingame skill there are a lot of people.

28. Do you play with sound on or off?

Off. I've pretty much always played games mostly without sound. Not sure why.

29. Do you stream GW2? If so where can I watch you?

I could! I've considered it, but I don't know anyone who would watch, and I don't have any particular GW2 content to stream.

30. Are you obsessed with in game fashion?

Yes, arguably. I'm very particular about it, and I don't make characters without putting hours into how they look.

31. Do you have a favourite dye?

Nah. I'm sure there are some I like a lot, but it's all down to how they're used (just like my favorite color).

32. Whats the best glider skin in your opinion?

I'm still waiting! I've been ready to snap up the first glider skin I really like ever since HoT came out, but none has tickled my fancy or whatever the saying is besides the classical glider which I've got right now. iirc I used to like the old ad infinitum glider, but I don't like the changed version and I certainly don't want to spend 1300g on it.

33. Have you ever had to block someone?

Tons of times. This is video games; I’d be surprised if I didn’t. Though, to be fair, none of the blocks I can think of were out of “necessity” in that none of them were actively reaching out to me or anything. They were just annoying/offensive/etc and I saw no value in remembering they exist. So perhaps I’m lucky in that regard.

34. Weirdest map chat experience?

Uhhh... hm. I bet it was back in the HoT-meta-grinding days. In the aerodrome, nothing is at all unexpected. Nothing comes to mind though; the memorable stuff is just offensive or annoying, not weird.

35. Do you have 100% map completion on any of your characters?

Only a few. They were all for the gifts of exploration to craft legendaries for profit. I used to keep track of how many I'd sold, but I don't recall anymore.

36. What type of player are you? Hardcore, Casual, Semi-hardcore, Barely online.

This is such a wide range, so it’s hard to specify. Among all GW2 players I'm sure I'm hardcore. Among raiders I'm still probably hardcore. Among hardcore raiders I'm probably semi-hardcore to casual.

37. What are the top three tips you would give someone just starting to play?

I would prefer to give them a lot more than 3 tips, and do so in voice chat over a long period of time. Otherwise I try not to get involved with that. I can't stand trying to correct other people's misinformation or judge how much or how little background someone has when they ask a newbie question without really getting into it. Like, I used to read the reddit and answer new players’ questions, but the number of other commenters who’d chime in and be totally wrong or obviously unhelpful drove me nuts.

39. Do you stick to one character mostly or are you an altoholic?

When you get to this point in the game, you really have to be comfortable with a roster of characters. I guess there are some exceptions, but those are still people who have a main but can and do play every class. But ever since basically the beginning, I've switched between a bunch of classes and builds as was appropriate for the situation. I dunno how much that counts as being an "altaholic" though; I've made a new character for non-mechanical reasons probably 3-4 times, which may be many or few depending on who you compare it to actually I just counted and it's like 7, so... maybe. You be the judge.

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