#I will probably make a go fund me account to idk

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

i am so sorry, I just asked you to my friend but this is extremely serious.

I'm sorry to be suddenly springing this on everyone but for those who know, I got deported from Germany at the end of last October 2023. I had some help from a relative to get me out of that situation but she won't help me with anything financial ever again. Why I was in Germany was because a relative convinced me and my dad that there was work for us there and we should move in with them. That we would get the documents all squared away and immigration would be a snap. My dad got the job as working for her handy man to fix up her estate, and I… Didn't have a opportunity like that. There were a lot of details, but the end of it was that there really wasn't any job, she lied, she didn't help me get citizenship and I was basically deported after spending 8 months there. I was thankfully saved by my mom so I wouldn't become homeless, but my dad is still there. Still with that psychopath. He had no way to leave, cause he no relative to swoop in and help, so he had to stay and work for this freak until he could financially leave. I was trying to make as much money as I could from my end, but my job is mininum wage and I had other expenses but we both thought that he would have time (a years worth) cause she would renew his work visa cause she wants him to work for her. But lo and behold, she remains true to her selfishness and craziness, cause she said she won't renew it because he isnt doing this project for her anymore, but for himself. Which, what? No, he is doing the project so you will pay him and he can escape, but whatever. She had one of us deported, it seems that she wouldn't mind having both of us deported. And that is why I ask for help. I didnt press for financial assistance with my deportation, but I plead with his. He has no one to help him and I'm not enough. Please help him, he gave up so much to help her cause he trusted and loved her (his cousin). But she wouldn't return the favor. So now she is throwing him away cause she's done with him, so I beg anyone to help. He will need at least 10k to get a semi fresh start. 20k would be a comfortable one even though that is asking for so god damn much. But to explain, the finances would be for the plane ticket so he won't be thrown on a thirty hour flight which is possible and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. A $200 ride to the airport cause thats how much it was for me and my luggage and she didn't help with any of that. He had several luggage items so that combined with the plane ticket. Then he will need money for a place to stay until he can get back on his feet and the state he will be moving to is a pricier one but it will have my sisters who will be there for him. They can't help much either cause they are also poor. I intend to ask, and I'm sure they will hand over some but it won't be enough. And then he needs a car since he got rid of his moving to Germany and just general expenses like credit cards and we have a storage space filled with stuff we were going to bring with us but that's not happening. So I ask this much, because it's what he needs but I don't know if it's what he's going to get. I'm sorry for springing this one everyone, but I am literally not enough and won't get any outside help. So please, if you can, please help my dad.

I will make art if requested or short stories if asked for. I won't have too much time balancing out my job and things, but I will commit. Just send a request and I'll type that shit like there is no tomorrow. Just please, help us. I am actually begging and losing my mind over it. Please.

Please, he hasn't earned much for himself and won't have enough-please!

If I reach 20k on both goals combined, I will freeze them so no one adds anymore, thanks you.

[bibleofficial]

where is my fat husband

[ashleyisartsy]

Problems (objective and personal) I'm not seeing discussed a lot w this new WatcherTV thing, in no particular order:

-Alienates people internationally who literally CANNOT GET the streaming service!

-Alienates casual fans who don't watch or want to watch all of their shows. Putting down 60 bucks a year to watch just one or two shows is kind of insane, at least for me.

-The volume of content Watcher has produced historically hasn't been enough to justify a separate streamer. I understand there's no way a small team could compete with something like Netflix, obviously, but that's what you're trying to do by putting yourself in the streamer market.

-Will this streamer be secure? What steps are in place to protect your viewers info? ESPECIALLY payment info.

-Will it be easily watchable on multiple devices? I watch YouTube videos on my phone at work 90% of the time, or at home on my TV thru my switch. Is this a browser only deal?

-What are the internet requirements for this? Believe it or not most streaming services won't run on my internet personally. I don't have any for that reason. I can watch YouTube on 360p, or on my 2-bar-reception phone data. Not everywhere has stable reliable internet.

-The suddenness and totality of the move was going to be jarring no matter what, if the idea had been introduced gradually or started as a hybrid model to test audience interest there wouldn't be nearly this amount of pushback.

-I understand the people saying "pay artists!!" Bc I am one, and I get that their quality is expensive and they have a whole company's worth of people to support. I do actually think their work is worth paying for! Everyone's is! But convincing anyone to pay for something they previously got for free is going to be a hard sell. They were still getting paid before, they're now just asking us to pay instead of the advertisers. Idk about you, but that's a way bigger hit to my pocketbook than a multimillion dollar company's bank account.

-I get that YouTube can be a really shitty place to be a creator sometimes, and that being beholden to advertisers is something they don't want to be. It's why they left Buzzfeed! They already have a patreon and merch and it's clearly not been enough for their ambitions. But shooting yourself in the foot because your running shoes are wearing out isn't going to make you a better marathon runner. They had to know that there was going to be a not small portion of their audience unwilling to make this move with them (and again, lots literally aren't able to!)

-If they had a free w/ ads option, or even did a hybrid model with whole shows behind the pay wall, or even just ran a fucking crowd funding campaign to help cover costs of new seasons of shows, any of those things could have worked. They don't even have YouTube memberships turned on, which I've personally seen many many channels do even when they already have a patreon. It really doesn't seem like they've exhausted other options, at least from an outside perspective, which is all we have as viewers!

-I get that this has been in the works for a long time, and that there probably isn't a way for them to back out now. But I hope they can find a way to make this more accessible if they want it to work at all. I truly am not wishing for their downfall, but the whole situation is an awful mess.

Idk, rant over. As a lot of you are I'm feeling very disappointed and upset with this one, and I'm not paying for it either. Hope the boys can salvage this one for their and their crew's sake. Would really hate for this to be the end.

[spacelazarwolf]

tldr scroll down to see my new plants.

this is a departure from my usual posts, it's a bit more like hybrid blog/diary entry, idk, but here u go.

for those of y'all who don't know, one of my hobbies is plants. i like to collect them propagate them, trade them, etc. and my favorite type of plant is aroids, particularly philodendrons. it was a very difficult hobby to maintain after the plant boom during lockdown caused plant prices to skyrocket, so for the past year or two i haven't relaly been buying that many new plants, and when i have it's just been from garden centers or local nurseries.

yesterday, however, i went to an aroid show where there was a vendor from south america who had brought a bunch of specimens people could purchase. they're a family owned business that focuses on protection and preservation of biodiversity and native plant species, and all their plants are ethically sourced, usually grown in their own greenhouses from propagations instead of taking them from their natural habitat and selling them. so obviously i had to check them out.

but this is where i sort of pause while writing this post, because i get really nervous talking about spending money, especially on here. i've frequently asked for help when i needed assistance getting my account out of the red or paying late rent, so part of me feels like it would be insulting to post about things i spend money on that aren't the essentials. but my plants make me happy. they give me something to take care of. they brighten up my apartment. they give me something to be excited about. so i'm just gonna tell you about my new plants.

about a month ago when i left my old church job, they gave me a gift card that the choir had pitched in for. i couldn't get cash out, use it for rent, or transfer it to my bank account, so i decided it would be my hobby fund. when i found out about the aroid show, i set aside a portion of that fund for plants because i knew that the specimens at the show would be significantly less expensive than anything i could find online or in local shops, and it might be one of the only chances i would ever have to actually buy some of my wishlist plants.

this is a philodendron esmeraldense. this is what they look like when the leaves get bigger and more mature. this is one i hadn't seen before so it wasn't on my wishlist, but when i was checking the vendors' stock last week i loved how it looked. i'm gonna put it on a moss pole and let it climb. the leaves probably won't ever get as big as the one in the linked photo, but i'm still excited to watch it grow.

this is a terrible picture but this is a philodendron patriciae. they get super long. this one’s putting out like two new leaves. it’s also a climber. the ripples in the leaves get more intense as it matures, so paired with the very long leaves it looks so cool. i can't wait to grow this one bigger.

philodendron pastazanum. it’s a crawler so i’ll be getting a window box to put it in so it has space to grow across the substrate. this has been on my list for a while but i couldn’t find it anywhere. the big heart leaves are just gorgeous.

this is a philodendron melanochrysum. the leaves can get huge. technically i already have a smaller one, but this one was just so gorgeous. i will probably end up planting them together on one moss pole. it’s one of my favorite plants, i am a sucker for velvety leaves. you can see one of the older leaves is getting ready to drop, and i think i'm going to try to make a project out of it.

philodendron tortum. it feels like the kind of plant that would have been growing while the dinos were around. it's very reminiscent of a fern, but it is also a climber. i had one like two years ago but i had to sell it to pay some bills, so i'm happy to have it back in my collection.

the one in the center. anthurium veitchii, or king anthurium. this one was kind of an impulse buy. i don’t usually do anthurium but it was cheap and looked incredibly cool. they look even cooler when they get mature.

what is a king without his queen. anthurium warocqueanum, or queen anthurium. i wasn't sure if i wanted to tackle this one bc it's notoriously hard to take care of, but it was very cheap so i took the plunge. these also get super long, and the velvety shiny leaves are so pretty.

monstera obliqua peru. this was a unicorn plant. it is difficult to find in the wild, grows slowly, and is hard to propagate, so it was mostly just passed from collector to collector until the plant boom during covid. nodes of this plant, literally just bits of stem you would cross your fingers and hope would root and grow leaves, were going for a thousand dollars and a single leaf up to three thousand dollars a year or two ago. and now i have a very full plant for only forty bucks. 2020 me is screaming. this specimen looks a little squished from the trek from south america to the midwest, but when it acclimates to its new environment, it's going to look so cool. this is another plant that has dino vibes.

and finally the grand finale. philodendron spiritus sancti. i honestly can't believe i'm typing this. this plant is considered to be one of the rarest philodendrons in the world - if not the rarest. it only grows in one place, and there are reportedly only 10 known plants left in the wild because of a combination of poaching and the excessive clearing of their habitat. it was another one that pretty much only existed in high level (wealthy) collections for a very long time. now, more specimens of this plant exist in private collections than in the wild, which makes ownership of this plant very emotional for me. this is a plant that was going for upwards of $14k for large specimens at the height of the plant boom. people were scrambling to get their hands on that one plant that no one could get, the highest prize, a bragging point. no one cared if they were getting it ethically. someone even stole a cutting from a botanical garden just to sell it.

this plant was not on my wishlist because i never thought i would even get to see in person, let alone hold, let alone own. and yet yesterday i picked it up, held it in my hands, saw the two digit price tag, and decided yeah. i think it's only fair that the money a bunch of presbyterians gave me should go to adding a plant called a "spiritus sancti" to my jewish plant collection.

it still doesn't feel real. i can just look over at my plant cabinet, and there it is. a spiritus sancti. bc for me it was never about having a big name plant in my collection. it was never about bragging or showing off or just checking names off a list of things i was supposed to want if i was into houseplants. this plant still exists because botanists and aroid enthusiasts have worked tirelessly to conserve it. and having this little piece of history and the world in my little plant cabinet feels more like a responsibility to me than a prize.

so yeah. those are my new plants. i'm excited to see them grow and still a little starstruck that i was even able to bring home the last two.

[shinsources]

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

I'm in the negative on PayPal and will probably be in the negative again with my bank account before Wednesday because of me not getting a 30 day notification from a website I gave a try in January 2024 and was set on auto-renewal without my knowledge. I got charged not once but twice over the past two weeks. I can even show receipts as proof for those of you who are skeptical. Well, I sent a dispute to PayPal requesting for the company to refund me the $40 and I got denied (maybe it's because I phrased everything poorly ... IDK). So I'm basically SOL. Either way, I'm needing ... like ... $80 because they're going to keep charging me until I have the sufficient funds.

I'm even willing to make some GFX for you guys. Here are a couple of PROMOS I've made down below.

PROMOS ARE $15 EACH

Here are a couple of DASHBOARD BANNERS I've made down below.

A SET OF 12 DASHBOARD BANNERS IS $24

Feel free to HMU on here via @shinsources and I'll get things going for you. MY PAYPAL LINK IS HERE FOR ANYONE GENEROUS ENOUGH TO HELP.

[whoslaurapalmer]

potentially getting really ahead of myself here but definitely something i Need to think about and keep in my head and uh. the sooner i do that, right now, the better, honestly, probably, because these are numbers i need to know and things i need to. consider. and, oh boy

i want to buy a house!! i want to own a house!! when i have to live by myself i don't want to live in an apartment i don't own, where the rent could be raised to something i can't afford, where i can't do whatever i want! so i want a house!! a little one! in the area! just for me! just mine! my pretty purple petunias and all that. that page from a house on mango street. that makes me cry. cause, yeah. yeah. that's it.

but i get disability. and like, one of the reasons my mom and i live together -- besides our genuine adoration of each other and enjoying each other's company -- is that, neither of us could afford to live alone. with her pension and real live work retirement social security, and my disability, we can do it together. just me, on just my disability?? that's.......................yikes

and there's like, programs for low income and very low income homeowners (unrelated but every time i type that. i see the meow.), for a much lower than average mortgage, but it does incrementally go up the second year and then the third year and on is the amount it'll be and. even that. i cannot. actually afford. the final mortgage amount (and i don't even know if that includes taxes or the required mortgage insurance) is under the amount of disability i get a month but when i add in the absolutely required bills (gas, water, electric, my phone, internet, tv) (tv is not necessarily absolutely required but our tv is bundled with the internet so my current number crunching was based on our current bill breakdowns and local estimations) i am like..........literally left with nothing. less than nothing actually bc i would not actually be able to afford all the bills on top of it. and that doesn't even include my medical insurance or food or copays or anything!! which is exhausting, and heartbreaking, like it actually should not be. this fucking hard. i know all the numbers!! i've put them all together!! and i should be able to manage it!! but i can't!! would i have enough in savings after the first two years of lower payments to swing it?? i didn't do that particular math but probably not, bc i don't think i'd actually be able to save a great deal! i want to start saving something now but i wish i had started like. god 7 years ago when i had the idle thought about it. but i also........disability payments are weird, okay. i want to have savings in cash bc i don't want them to come after my account, which is, a fear of mine, and has been for a long time. but then i don't want anyone to go, wow where'd you get all the cash????? and report me. idk.

i do not necessarily want a roommate just bc like......i love my brother but we can't live together. we need The Space. (he lives in the smallest bungalow in the world, nearby, and he rents.) i love best friend and i'd love to live with best friend, i think we'd do okay living together, but best friend lives and works over an hour away upstate and visits family on the weekends close to me, and i can't, live upstate. (best friend also lives with Twin, so.) and like.........my lifestyle and All The Cleaning And Masking is not something i can impose on best friend. i want privacy, and my own space, and, i shouldn't have to like, need more reasons than that!! it's not wrong to want your own space!! we all need our own space!!!!! it shouldn't be, unattainable, the idea of having a space that is Yours, just Yours

there's a life insurance benefit payment (that my aunt and i are working to get in the right sort of trust fund so THAT doesn't mess up my disability payments in the first fucking place, which is. oh a whole other frightening barrel of possible worms, yknow) and it's like, oh it's an amount, but it is Not at all enough to just outright buy a home. even with my brother's portion added (bc he said he doesn't want it). and there's also certain debts i know will need to be paid off, and then the remaining mortgage on my mom's house, and it's just. and also the funeral expenses (which we've planned) might be paid in advance, or taken out of the life insurance, and idk if that's from mom's life insurance part or one of our benefits, and. like if i didn't have any mortgage i could do it but then buying without a mortgage is like, oh your options are limited and likely Unsafe. it's a lot. it's a lot i might not need to know right now but a lot i Definitely Do Actually Need To Know And Have In My Head. there might be like, disability programs for housing, but i feel like a lot of them are like apartments or even efficiencies (and otherwise omg i canNOT afford rent. like. the rent around here????? hahahahaha.) and i just. why does it have to be so hard to have something that's just mine. where it's just me. where i own it. where my brother can come over and do his laundry. where i can paint the walls whatever color i want and poke as many tacks in them as i can. where i can just live comfortably, not at all extravagantly!! where i can have some savings stashed away to fix or replace an appliance if i need to. where i can sing and not worry about someone hearing me. and yeah, i'm gonna keep looking into it, i want to make it work so bad, but. god!!!!!

anyway. meanwhile i just actually need to get through to the social security office to change the payee to directly to me instead of my mom. it's just a pain. you ever tried to call YOUR local social security office?? oof. i did find A form online, but i'm not sure if it's the one we need. i know there are lots of specific services where like, if necessary, people can come to the house to do financial arranging, etc (like the funeral guy was here today, and he actually grew up down the street?? babysat one of my best friends?? that was a fucking incredible conversation.

my mom: he's single. me: mom, if he babysat squishy, he's gotta be like, ten years older than me!

my aunt: ooooo was he single????? me: HE BABYSAT SOMEONE MY AGE, NANCY!!!!!) (squishy is actually a year younger than me, but point stands.) (also my aunt is half-joking, half-seriously trying to set me up with like, multiple guys. nancy i don't want a religious sports man of indeterminable age from your workplace.) (i say indeterminable age bc --

my aunt: he's got a steady job! he's been at the company for 30 years! me: ..........................................i'm thirty, nancy my aunt: ....................wait)

SO hopefully that could be arranged here with that but it's. something to look into. next week, bc tomorrow is fucking SATURDAY. also best friend is coming over tomorrow so we can go for a walk. eat some cookies. maybe get a little warm drink in town idk.

also. general life advice -- if possible, look up the local utility authority where you live and check to see if they've ever needed to do a lead pipe inventory? you know, marking which houses in your area HAVE LEAD PIPES??? great map to have. we do not have lead pipes, but the UA has also been very unclear about, if you do have lead pipes, whether the homeowner or the county is responsible for replacing them over the next couple years with copper. so any house i like in the area (regardless of if it's actually for sale), i'm like, constantly bringing up the map and going, "lead???? do you have lead?????? please don't have lead."

[gio-cosmo]

ooh, 14, 21 and 22?

Hiii ^^

14. Worst game you’ve ever played?

ooo this one’s tough…realistically, the worst game I’ve ever played is probably some low-budget knockoff wii game I played as a kid or something LMFAOO but I feel like that’s a predictable answer on my part. I feel like I’ve had pretty good luck with games I end up playing, I’m really picky so usually I just. Refuse to pick up a game at all if it doesn’t look interesting lmfaoo. I will say though….the two games I most regret purchasing are Fire Emblem Engage & Pokemon Scarlet 😭 they aren’t the worst games ever by any means but. They were both 60 bucks and I never play them. Very devastating for my measly bank account 😢 ALSO tbf I feel like the reason I dislike Fire Emblem Engage is bc I want another Fire Emblem game to kind of go along the same layout of Three Houses…not a direct copy obviously but Three Houses was just so good. It’s so good in fact that any time I play any other Fire Emblem game that ISN’T Three Houses I’m like….🫤 LMFAOO which I know isn’t a very good mindset for me to have and I should stop comparing them so heavily but…alas. BUT I suppose I can’t even really give Engage a proper rating since I haven’t finished it. Idk I just didn’t really care for the storyline or characters but that’s just me personally.

21. A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving?

There’s actually quite a few where this has happened!! There’s been a plethora of games I’ve seen on Steam or in a store and I’ll look it over and be like “ehhh this really doesn’t look like my thing…but it has good ratings…and it’s under my recommended…” and then I’ll usually set it off to the side, and once I get really incredibly bored I’ll cave in and buy it just to give me something to do LMAOO. Needy Streamer Overload was one where I was very skeptic about at first, but I actually really ended up enjoying it (I especially love the soundtrack!) and also World of Horror! I remember seeing people say it was boring and the game mechanics looked so overwhelming so I put off buying it forever, but I finally got it a few weeks ago and it’s probably my fav horror game of all time now. I’m mentally kicking myself for avoiding it so avidly for so long! I don’t find it boring at all, I love games that are built to be replayed as many times as you want. It was funny though bc when I first started playing I was so confused..had me staring at the screen like ☹️ LMFAOO I WAS ACTUALLY BEFUDDLED. But after a few playthroughs it ends up being easy to understand which I am very thankful for. ALSO. Slay the Princess!! Another one I avoided for a while for..honestly idek why. But oh my GODDD I LOVE SLAY THE PRINCESS WOOO YAYYY 🎉 slay the princess honestly was such a crazy surreal experience idek how to describe it. It’s so awesome. It’s coming out on the Switch w a 200 dollar collectors addition thingy and oh my god. Bro. I am DEVASTATED at my lack of funds 😭😭 I actually have to put it out of my mind bc if I think abt it excessively I get really sad 💔 ANYWAYYYSS SHOUTOUT TO SLAY THE PRINCESS 🗣️🗣️ so wonderfully made, beautiful artwork, stunning music…omg. Also grotesque at times but in a way that’s just so fundamentally different and unique? If that makes sense? It’s all so meaningful and connected and they manage to express so many emotions throughout a playthrough. I’ve got every achievement and I’m so happy I gave it a shot :) OH. Also One Shot! One Shot is great…oh my goodness. Woaw. This is making me realize how overly skeptical I am about every game I ever purchase in the history of ever LMFAOO why am I so overly critical 💀 like why do I always have to mull it over for months smh 😭

22. Do you watch any other gamers?

As of right now, no. Not routinely, anyways. I used to be obsessed with watching YouTube game playthroughs as a kid, but I’m not really all that into it anymore. However! I will say that what got me into the Persona franchise back when I was a 5th grade child (?!?!??) is Kubz Scout’s playthrough of it on YouTube! I watched him tons as a kid (someone should’ve been monitoring my internet access for sure 💀) and I still watch some of his gaming videos every now and then. So. Shoutout to Kubz Scout’s for introducing me to my favorite game franchise everrr!! 🗣️🗣️ absolutely crazy that I was watching Persona playthroughs in elementary school though LMFAOO every time I think abt it I’m like … where were my parents at !! 😭

[yesterdayiwrote]

i think everyone overestimates drivers' relationships with one another, I am sure I do it too to some extent. But what truly bothers me the most about the lando and lewis matter is that the kid has run his mouth so many times. Had those things been said by any other driver, we would still be speaking about it. Norris has been honestly disrespectful so many times ( also how entitled can you really be with the guy who has literally won it all and will go down to be one the greatest in the history of the sport) and maybe idk lewis truly is more graceful than any of us. The guy has done the same with Ricciardo (not a fave of mine but also some stuff that was said last year was honestly just rude for the sake of it). The guy needs to learn how to be professional at times - it is not a good look.

The thing with Lando is he’s absolutely, 100% an overprivileged brat and that more often than not seems to influence his behaviour, and yet there’s a side order of ‘pick me’ about him too.

Take the trophy for instance. Any normal human being with an appreciation of the value of money would be horrified if they did that. Sure, it was an accident, but then surely the decent thing to do is apologise. At least show some inkling of remorse, even if it’s just a “Oh god, I didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry, I feel really bad!” Instead he instantly doubled down, turned it into a joke, and made out like it was no big deal, which is what the majority of privileged people do when they fuck up because they’re not used to being held to account. £40k is nothing to them, they’d probably piss it up the wall on a night out without a second thought.

Then there’s his comments about Lewis. He misguidedly thinks Lewis has never struggled because his privileged ass can only fathom ‘struggle’ as having a bad race car and being at the back of the grid. True struggles don’t even enter his mind when he runs his mouth making comments. His family have never struggled to make ends meet, he’s never struggled to have his racing career funded, he’s never had to rely on an academy to keep his racing dreams alive. He’s never struggled to be accepted in a paddock because of the colour of his skin. The extent of his ‘struggle’ is driving a car in P19, and because that’s the one struggle he perceives Lewis to not have experienced then he presumes that Lewis doesn’t truly know struggle.

The guy is a dick.

I can’t speak to why Lewis persists with giving him so many chances and is so charitable with him. I think he probably sees some of himself in him, and also… I think they probably have quite similar sense of humour. Lewis plays it cool but deep down he’s a bit of a goof? Lando’s immaturity is actually…right up Lewis’ street.

Lando undoubtedly trades off Lewis when it suits him, and then throws him straight under the bus when he fancies as well.

[scorchflamedancer]

Heeeeey I'm not sure if posting this on tumblr is allowed? But what are they gonna do, ban an account I rarely use? huehuehue Anyway. Hi! I'm a Scorch, and I'm non-binary. I'm sure a lot of you have heard the same sorts of stories concerning dysphoria and body horror and all that fun trans stuff, so I won't bore or retraumatize anyone with the nitty gritty of all that. Just wanna yeet some tests, if ya know what I mean. Sad annoying story of thinking it's all gonna go ok and insurance is gonna cover it, and then it don't be that way. So here I am, begging, borrowing, bartering to try and get this surgery funded. My partner and metamore are getting married in August (I'm officiating!!) and I was hoping that I would be able to have gotten my surgery done and healed up by then so I could show up in those pictures as my most authentic self. If I hadn't had the insurance snaffo, I probably was going to be able to but... idk. It's a soft pie in the sky goal, but I'm willing to push as long as it takes to finally get this weight off my chest (emotionally, literally, figuratively, pun-y). It's something that really effects my mental health and probably contributes to my executive dysfunction making it hard for me to be creative, and I hate that for me. Anything you guys can do to help. Share, like, comment, reblog, send a dollar, every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated <3

[lesvegas]

Hey, Alex! Quick question, I saw your neopets post, and was wondering if the neopet site, as of today, is nice to play with.

Like, I´ve always thought of creating a new account (had one wayy back then), and all, but hearing about the fucking NFT shit, and how buggy half of the features where kinda discoraged me.

But seeing your post made me wonder if the new owners are improving the site experience, or the site wasn´t half as buggy as people said it was.

Yes!! I'd argue the site has been more nice to play with lately than it has been in the last couple of years since flash went under.

Funny thing about the NFT shit; TNT had nothing to do with it. TL;DR one of the og creators got obsessed with crypto shit, pissed his pants when no one wanted to do NFT shit, dipped, and now Neopets is independent and mostly owned by one of the other og creators who ISN'T a weird cryptobro. They've also stated that they have more resources, funding, and intend to take Neopets 'into a new era'.

So far, 'into a new era' has meant a restoration of many flash games and features (not all; it'll be a long while before everything is converted, but for most players only a few dailies are inaccessible and the site is still 95% functional), updating the home page and other areas of the site with a new mobile-friendly look (I'm kinda ambivalent about this but I get why they're doing it... and I have to admit I like the new themes), implementing a new plot event (I think it just ended but also looks like they aren't quite done yet, I'm excited to see what happens next) and... they apparently plan on making some kind of 3d game? Idk but for a while now they've been consistently updating and fixing and adding things people have wanted for a long time and seem to actually be listening to the community. They've been doing Q and A's on their official youtube channel, too.

I won't lie to you, though, the site IS still buggy. Always has been. I wouldn't say any bugs I've run into have hindered my experience overall, but they're there. But I might just be more forgiving of bugs than most as a fnv player lol. You *probably* won't really run into any yourself though, right now the only current bugs I can think of are the Wishing Well not updating and a couple minor bugs with the new plot event (tbf plot events are a live thing and they usually have a bug or two, this isn't new).

One last thing; going back to it for the first time in a long time will probably be jarring no matter what. Most of the site still has that classic oldish web look to it, while stuff like the front page and your inventory is in a totally different style. All I can say is you'll get used to it, but it does feel weird at first. Other than that, I can't really imagine a new account running into anything that would deter them from playing. Most of Neopets is the same as it's always been, for better or worse, and what isn't the same has mostly been a welcome change.

If you DO make a new account hmu btw I'll give you some free stuff and neopoints to start out with, I love helping newbies and returning players :3 Also lemme know if you have any other specific questions, I love talking about neopets sm

[ropes3amthoughts]

Long ramble of my thoughts in a diary entry-esque format that felt too ridiculously long to post without a cut before it:

At work (I can’t spend the money btw bc I’m a minor and I don’t have my own credit card or like financial independence so my parents just put it somewhere. I thought they were saving it for college but apparently my mom plans to put it into my retirement fund? Ok this wasn’t what I was going to talk about in my rant at all but I just need to say that sounds like a total scam. Save up like a million dollars for when you’re 62 years old? What the fuck am I gonna do with a million dollars when I’m that old? Buy snacks that’ll kill me instantly? Buy a trip somewhere and then get dizzy in the plane because I’m old as shit? What could a 62 year old do with one million dollars wtf why not just put it in an account with normal interest now so I can like have it for when I need it/want it? What if I die before 62 is my money just wasted? Sounds like a horrible plan to me. I know it’s like to last me but I feel like if I turn 62 years old I’m dying the next day I don’t have a model healthy life style my ass is making it like maybe 70 at most. I feel confident that I do not need a million dollars in my 60’s. I don’t have a million dollars on me by the way I’ve only made like $3000 but with interest my mom said it’ll be like a million when I’m 62 and like man can’t I just like have my money now I could like give it to people who need it now or like use it for college like c’mon now why are we gambling on me needing it 45 years in the future wtf I am scared of even being like 18 years old or like 30 years old like 62 is some crazy fuckin numbers and I told my mom I didn’t want to but she never listens to me so she’s probably doing that anyways smh bruh)

Ok anyways what I was originally saying was at work I was struck with the thought of the Dungeon Meshi fandom becoming one of those notoriously evil fandoms (like Voltron) after season 2 of the anime airs and I felt like Kate from Alpha and Omega when she has that prophetic dream of the different wolves fighting (ok that’s a cringe ass reference but like I was kinda like her in that one scene and it’s so funny to me at least) like oh lord bruh that’s gonna be me fr I can already see all the people getting insane over ships especially since in the latter half of the manga the characters get closer and form new bonds and stuff and it’ll be a mad house with people saying what ship is better and what not dude I can already see like the KabuMisu foot massage scene, the Laicillle Succubus scene, the Marchil marriage scenario thing, the scene where Marcille is longingly staring at Falin in the ice, the scene where Kabru says he wants to be Laios’ friend, etc. etc. like all of those scenes are gonna be like putting an apple in a container of 20,000 meal worms put in 500x speed the people are gonna go mad I tell you and I am afraid

I think what spurred this is I’ve seen a handful of my buddies like diss each other (though it’s not been direct like fighting it’s more like they show a screenshot of one of their posts and be like “yikes” or vague them or stuff) plus I’ve been on Twitter (ok that’s my fault I know I know Twitter sucks) and people were getting into the stupidest arguments about shipping like the one “Laicille is hated because it’s straight” thing getting like 40k likes and people were being like wildly homophobic n stuff and like it dawned on me that once season 2 comes out and like however many thousand people come back plus the new people coming in too it’ll be like that times however many bajillion people and that’s crazy idk if I could put up with that Imma fall to the floor sobbing especially if anybody asks me to like a pick a side or some shit like I don’t even care about ships that much 😭😭😭 Idk if it’s bc DunMeshi has like no romance or if it’s just one of those medias where I don’t ship anything lmao because I’ve gotten in a handful of those like Subnautica and Hollow Knight were games I came out of shipping nothing and DunMeshi was the same for me like after people pointed out ships I was like that one “what the hell sure” meme and just went with whatever but I just didn’t ship anything reading it and I’m not even really attached to anything now and I’m just kinda whatever y’know

Man this is kinda awkward now because this was gonna be like a post post but it’s just like awkward rambling I’d tell my friends but now that I’ve said it all at once and with a bit of a like undertone of me telling it to an audience (a tumblr audience) I can’t really organically share it with my friends anymore so I guess I’m still sharing it with you guys? Idk I feel weirdly share-y tonight that’s probably not a good thing. I’m gonna play a game after I post this I think. What game? Idk imma just look at stuff and figure it out as I go lmao but imma have fun and play uh bye to anyone reading this

[b43b43x]

Trying to psych myself up to post art online again.

I suffered a pretty bad mental burnout and the idea of posting my art online again still brings this. Sense of dread? I used to be super creative and share so much but idk how to explain it but, things got weird on my old accounts and especially on other platforms. Like people expected this weird sense of duty from me. To cover everything from teaching them how to draw to practically demanding I monetise every aspect of my hobby, when. All I wanted to do was draw my little characters along with a couple of craft projects. I still get people offline telling me Im wasting my talents not try to sell my skills but I just don't want to do that, AT ALL. Drawibgs and crafting are the only parts of my life where I feel able to control and express myself fully, and it completely destroyed me from the inside trying to make a living from it. Its taken a long time to get to a place where creative outlets bring me joy again, but even then its not the same as it used to be, and it probably never will.

its gonna be a little cheesy but TFone came out at just the right time for me. Transformers was such a big interest for me when I was younger and to rediscover that joy it brought me once again (and now with the funds to buy myself what I couldn't when I was younger both with art supplies and toys).

I completely ditched every other platform and every account I ever had. Just to start fresh but as soon as I feel even the slight bit of obligation to create something for any other reason but my own enjoyment, I lose total interest and i feel this, weird burning?pain?! In my arms and i. The back of my neck.

idk man even the thought of my drawings reaching outside the circle of close friends kinda freaks me out. I barely even show my art to anyone irl because I just. Don't. want their “well meaning” input. I don't really know where Im going with this. 10 years ago I wanted to share my art all over the web and have people love my creations as much as I do. But now? Thats like, my number one fear. I dont draw as much as I used to these days but like, I'm pretty happy with my skills. maybe I still need time to recover from what happened before, I like posting pics of my toys and figure. I like reblogging stuff I like and going ham in the tags about how much I like said stuff so. Just having a clean slate where I can feel no shame about indulging in my interests had helped me a lot. But I still gotta see a therapist one day. Theres still shit rattling round my brain that drags up horrible memories.

[finsterhund]

Every time I think I'm safe from heatwaves we get another one.

Maui is also on fire.

How much of our permafrost have we lost? I don't even want to check.

Will my favourite extant wild animal (emperor penguins) still be around in a hundred years?

Yeah it's one of these days 😔

And through all of this my bank is like 500 in the red. My overdraft is only 300. Bruh. Agony and pain on planet earth

But still I'm silly 🥺

Haven't been able to do my laundry so I'm not snuggling Sly because I'm in less than clean pajamas. Why did they raise the laundry cost so much :(

Talking to my mom and she's visiting family and seeing my cousins who are healthy normal well adjusted boys with ADHD with good lives and healthy support networks and functional social lives has made her realize how much she allowed my birth father to ruin my brother and me and she's shown so much remorse and yeah it is partially her fault but I'm telling her over and over that she was just as much taken advantage of by that monster as we were and it's wrong for her to shoulder the entirety of the blame when it wouldn't have happened if she had been married to a better person. Idk.

Her feeling so much remorse has actually made her soften her heart enough that she wants to send me the quilt grandma made for me though. Or is it the quilt great grandma made for me. She doesn't know. Idk how she'd be able to forget that. I fear her memory is just dying. Maybe she's so scared of my ability to remember things because it's showing to her she might be getting one of those mental diseases you get for memory with age. Idk. I know we're incompatible to live together and our relationship is still not healthy but I do care about her a lot. Don't want her to get sick or die. Really afraid of death and people I care about dying.

I'm not being torn apart mentally this time and I contribute that to my new antipsychotics but it's still pretty depression to think about all of this.

It's too hot to do anything so I'm just sorta stuck right now. Gotta keep telling myself that my financial distress will eventually become less scary. Because eventually my roommate won't need me to cover his expenses and eventually the government will have to raise my pension and eventually the housing market will collapse and eventually all the old money will die. Or whatever. Having a scary negative bank account and getting insufficient funds charges are just stupid monkey fake problems it doesn't mean I'm going to get hurt it doesn't mean I'm going to starve it doesn't mean I'm going to die. Just keep telling myself this. But it's still scary. I don't like feeling like I owe things. I know I can probably go to my bank and get them to reverse certain fees even make them increase my overdraft limit perhaps. Idk.

I just wish things could get better already you know? I get so tired all the time.

Apparently we're going camping on Friday. I'm all ready. Hoping my plants will be fine. I will water them well before we go. We're only going to be gone for half a week. Timed it around when I get paid so I can be away from civilization for the last days before my money comes in and puts by bank out of the negative. Roommate still says he doesn't know if he'll be able to cover all his own expenses this month yet. Big frustrated sigh. I don't just help because I need rent paid to keep the roof over my own head but also because I care. Maybe I care too much. People insist those with brains like mine do not care so I might as well prove them right. Less pain for me. But I just care. I care too much. Maybe I care because it helps me survive. I don't know.

Maybe the fact that I did have the period of my early years where my grandparents took care of me has actually made my life harder. Because I got a taste of how things should be so I'm less resilient to being hurt. I don't know if I'm conveying that thought well enough. Basically it allowed me to not have as thick of skin or whatever. Idk. I wonder if there will ever be a point in my relationship with my mom where we could live together. Humans are supposed to care for each other. God.

My cousins are all able to grow up. I am not. I am stunted and broken and frozen. Even if I thrive it's like I'm a bonsai tree compared to trees growing wild. I need special pruning. I need special access to light and water. I need special fertilizer. I can never reach my full potential. Can I thrive? Some think so. Some don't. If I get the best care possible I can look nice. But is that thriving? Is it inhumane regardless? Who can say. But there's no space for me to live "properly". If that makes sense.

How traumatic is it that it's integral to the queer experience, the neurodivergent experience, the disabled experience, that we have to fight just to have space to live? Humanity has built boxes that we now have to stake out an existence within the parameters of. To earn the right to exist.

Hoping I enjoy our camping trip. I'm not expecting it to fix me but I am fully anticipating that I enjoy it. Assuming I'm able to still enjoy things.

I have everything I need for the trip. I was responsible. Please don't let it be ruined.

I wish I'd hear back from my surgeon. I was supposed to have my surgery in May. Fucking May. My summer could have been so much better.

I wish me and Cazza could live on the farm. Was thinking about how if I had some money I could buy the land around the house back and set up a wind farm. Clean energy you know? Solar would be great out there too. I wouldn't even have to run a traditional farm. We need energy. I'd that my purpose? Hmm. If I was one of those assholes I could mine crypto too.

I think about having a solarium. You know one of those cool rooms with the big rounded ceiling windows? I would love to have that in the middle of nowhere and just have sleepovers out there. When it rains it would hit and run down those windows and look and sound really nice. I really just am made for the steppe. One or two special trees, wide open space, big sky. If reincarnation is real I hope I get to be Mongolian.

[omega-tech]

try that in a small town crap

“Try that in a small town”

More like “try it boy! We lynch people like you everyday”

I only heard about the first minute of the song and it got me really hot. Idk why country singers who do this think they can still get away. Yeah you’re “saying” that you don’t promote racism, white supremacist and pro trump bull crap. But you are promoting people who don't follow your kind of rules or beliefs. 

I came from a small town called Rosebud,tx. I am not proud of it or doesn’t wanna be a part of it from its history that town had to the people of color and tour my dad. And trust me when I say I came from a small town that is dying every day from its curse that was put on. That town treated people unfairly and when they did, they did it when proud and covered up the story then the truth being told.

Yes, people do take care of each other because they know each other but when it comes to race. They’re not in the pictures. And boy I can tell you many story’s how some of those racist people would do bad things to people like me. Like shooting at my dog or taking my friend's bike away because he was doing wheelies at a park, or accrue me and other people of thieves when it was their kids and family doing it. Yet we get the blame and the punishment. And if it wasn't people like my dad who stood up to me and my friend/etc. None of us wouldn’t be here if you know what i mean. You people shot at us with your guns, threaten us when your powers you had with the city council, used tactics to limit our rights to go certain parts of the town that we wasn’t allow, and last charge and bill us for things that didn’t make sense to fund your so call tax rate system that give you those cars, trucks, and houses being built in that town, this fixing the town. Because if this was a city, the government or the state woulda know about it unlike a small town. 

But now the state and government do know about it since everyone in the whole world has a cell phone. And when people have a cell phone, they have social media account. And we all know what happens when things like this get posted on social media. It gets views, notices and talked about throughout the world. And justice comes knocking at those people's doors. As for the country singer who made that song, you knew what you were doing. You got a view and the music sell money you made for the albums you sold threw digital media, etc. Which now that money is going to be used for lawyers from the lawsuits and probably losing your recording deal with the record label since you are too much trouble to handle and defend from the actions you made on yourself. 

“Try that in a small town, how about you shut your mouth up before you lose your whole career over it” 

[makerofmadness]

Wattpad's pulling me back in and honestly I'm letting it. I'm sick of hearing about world news and all the ways people can be horrible, I'm sick of finding out mutuals have blocked me out of nowhere, I'm sick of worrying about this shxt I just wanna be silly and leave a billion comments on unsuspecting authors' works

(Don't worry I'm not quitting or anything shejejejsndndndn I'm just. Idk, if tumblr ever goes under im probably moving back there as my primary "social media" [well, it and FANDOM] so if y'all wanna keep in touch if they don't get the funds to keep this place going then make an account and tell me your name and I'll greet ya personally or something idk-)

[kenmaskitten10]

Dilf Deku Headcanons

Midoriya Izuku x GN!Reader

warnings: swearing, NSFW themes (nothing graphic just briefly mentioned),brief mention of bullying/scars, idk this is pretty tame nothing is really described... if u don't like dilfs then don't read this :)

a/n: okay! this is my first time writing/publishing anything on Tumblr so please go easy on me haha... I've had ridiculous Deku brain rot lately and I decided I had to jot a few thoughts down. I'm playing with the idea of turning this into a writing blog, but I am undecided! If anyone wants to thirst for one Izuku Midoriya please come talk to me please anyway without further ado here are some Dilf!Deku hcs.... I'm playing around with doing a NSFW version after this so if you would like to see that let me know!

w/c: 1,498

Okay everyone today I want to talk about Dilf!Izuku

This may be controversial but I personally believe that he has the most Dilf potential out of any of the class 1A boys and no I will not be taking criticism at this time

Sorry but even when he’s younger he has Dilf energy - he’s caring, considerate, takes your feelings into account like a dad he just wants to take care of his baby

oh fuck this man no no no

And listen, here me out on this one….. he has more dilf potential than Bakugo and allow me to tell you why

We can all agree that Bakugo has been confident his entire life, so of course he’s going to be confident when he’s older?? duh

But IZUKU is a different story altogether, he’s never felt confident in his life

His whole childhood he was looked down on for being quirkless, and bullied by someone he thought was his friend kachaan

THEN he got a quirk but oh every time he uses it it breaks all his fucking bones and leaves him with all these scars, and he appreciates them because of what they represent but also he’s young when he gets them, he’s already prone to insecurity and when he’s younger ESPECIALLY i think they just remind him of previous failures

He only started to gain a little bit of confidence in his UA days, but it takes time to rebuild yourself after you’ve been torn down for so long, so I honestly imagine he doesn’t even feel an inkling of confidence until his third year or later and even then, it’s new, it’s unfamiliar, he doesn’t totally know how to act

Because yes, by his third year, he’s starting to realize, oh wow okay, I have an incredible quirk and all these new abilities that I can control better, and wow people are paying attention for good reasons , because he’s tall and attractive, probably cuts his hair undercut Izuku supremacy and he’s made some solid friends who help boost his confidence too

But despite all this, deep down he still feels like that quirkless little kid who has to work three times as hard as anyone else and still doesn’t get the recognition he deserves

But OH BOY

DILF IZUKU??? This man is dripping with confidence

he’s older now. he’s overcome a lot. he’s gone to therapy, and worked his way through the pro hero ranks until he earned his number one spot fair and square, that’s something no one can take away from him

He’s loaded now (see below because I go on a whole tangent), he has nice tasteful style that can only come with age and experience

He knows he’s hot now, because its simply no longer something that can be denied, anyone with eyes can see how attractive he is

If he catches you staring at him, he doesn’t shy away. His cheeks might tint slightly, but he stares right back with the biggest smirk on his face. “See something you like, angel?”

Probably finds reasons to show off slightly but he’s Dilf!Izuku so it’s subtle, it’s meant just for you and god does it drive you crazy

The way he’ll reach for and grab at things when he’s around you because he knows you like his hands (he wants to hold your bags and please let him he just wants to feel needed)

They way he stands behind you while you cook, or work, or read…. He sees you sitting or standing so peacefully and he’ll come up behind you to check out what it is you’re doing. He’ll lean down slowly, quietly, stopping when his breath is on your neck and your nose is filled with his scent, and take a quick peek at whatever it is you’re working on. It takes you a moment to turn around, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest due to his looming presence behind you (I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HOT TO ME IT JUST IS OKAY). When you finally turn to face him, his face breaks into a small smile of victory as his strong hand catches your jaw in a gentle grip and he places an achingly soft kiss to your lips before saying “You look so cute when you’re concentrating,”. As you’re about to go in for another, he lets you go and stands up again, his eyes twinkling. “No no, you’re working so hard baby, don’t let me distract you,” WHEN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO DISTRACT YOU and he succeeded and now you’re all hot and bothered, with no hope of resuming what you were doing

Dilf Deku is a tease I know he is but it’s okay he’ll make it up to you later ;)

He’s got shorter, slightly more cropped hair with grey mixed in with the green, his face more lean and angular… not to mention years of pro hero work have toned his body into an absolute work of art I’m gonna pass out just thinking about it

Freckles splashed across his skin like hundreds of little constellations, accented by scars and marks from old wounds (which he’s come to appreciate - they show how hard he’s worked, how much he’s sacrificed to get to where he is now) he’s muscular but I don’t think he’s quite as big as All Might (his fighting style is a lot different so of course he would build muscle in different places) so this means LEGS LEGS LEGS

LEG MUSCLES FOR DAYS

THICK FUCKING THIGHS oh my god

And holy shit his back muscles too WHEW sometimes in the morning when he gets up before you, you watch him sit on the edge of the bed and flex his shoulders and arms to stretch out in the hazy morning light and Jesus Christ

Dilf Deku is older now, he’s spent his entire life working himself too hard and he missed out on a lot of the fun, impulsive, chaotic things young people do, so I think he wants to let loose a little in his older age, have some fun for once

And what’s more perfect than sweet, youthful, tantalizing little you to indulge in ?

He’s so doting, just wants to make you feel special and cared for

And on that note, if you will indulge me for a moment

he’s fucking RICH like

He’s the number one pro hero, he has brand deals on brand deals on brand deals

And I don’t mean to slander All Might and Endeavor, but in terms of a hot, fuckable number one pro hero, Deku has them beat by a landslide so I imagine he has a wider range of brand deals too, because he can sell the sex appeal angle

I mean can you imagine him in interviews? Interacting with fans? Confident yes, but still soft spoken and kind, almost gentle but anyone can tell he’s completely in control, of himself, of the interview, of the audience, this man has the entire country world wrapped around his little finger

All this to say he’s DRIPPING WITH MONEY

he’s like the guy that overtips an OBSCENE amount like if the waiter is really nice he’ll tip like $300 dollars and won’t even blink (I know they don’t tip at restaurants in Japan but this is more for vibes yk)

sugar daddy deku isn’t a stretch it’s a REALITY

Y’all can be officially together or not, either way Deku loves to spoil his precious little y/n

All you have to do is smile sweetly and ask, and he’s absolute putty in your hands

Complies with even the most egregious of your demands, because hey, he has the money to spare, and how could he say no when you look so cute asking so politely?

GOOD TASTE too like he has a lot of money but he knows how to spend it 😏

Additionally he’s, ya know, him, so he’s insanely charitable and donates to charities, go fund me, personal Venmo accounts of fans that need it

if a fan has like a go fund me for some reason that catches his eye, he’s going to donate and he’s going to donate a lot (A LOT)

he doesn’t even do it for the press, he does it bc he’s a good person but my GOD the press eats it up and so do the fans

These hc’s are so self indulgent but all this to say

Dilf!Deku gets what he wants when he wants it and no one is standing in his way

So when he decides it’s you he wants? Well then it’s you he’s going to get!