#I will never be safe from the emails anytime I’m working a show :(

[littlebirdy0301]

If you want to be safe from The Emails, do not become a youth theatre stage manager

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sugar, Sugar 15

[FIFTEEN/END]

MASTERLIST

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve

This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)

Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?

This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.

Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.

Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya

🍭 🍭 🍭

The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.

It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?

You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.

You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.

That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.

Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 

As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.

It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.

Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.

“Sasha?” you gasped.

“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”

“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.

“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.

“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”

“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’

“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.

“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”

“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”

“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”

“And go where?”

He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.

“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.

“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.

“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.

“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”

“Am I trading him for you?”

“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”

“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”

“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”

“I have nothing,” you quavered.

“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”

“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”

“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”

You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.

“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”

He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.

You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.

He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.

He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.

🍭

The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.

When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.

“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”

Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.

“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”

Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”

“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.

“But… Sasha, I don’t--”

“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”

You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”

“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”

“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”

“I…” you shook your head speechless.

“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”

You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.

“How did you know?” you sobbed.

“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”

“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”

“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”

🍭

It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 

You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.

He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.

You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.

“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”

“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”

“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”

“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”

You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .

As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door

The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.

It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.

“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”

You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”

“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”

“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.

“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”

“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”

“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”

Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”

“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”

He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.

As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 

“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”

“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”

“Calm down,” Sasha warned.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”

“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”

You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”

“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”

“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 

As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”

“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”

He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.

“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”

“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.

“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”

“Police reports?” you blinked.

“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”

“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”

🍭

‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.

Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.

That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.

It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.

He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.

When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.

Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.

Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.

Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 

The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’

The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.

It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.

You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.

You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.

“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”

“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”

“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”

“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”

“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”

“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.

“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”

“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”

“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.

“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”

“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”

You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”

“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”

“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”

“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”

“See?” you taunted, “geek.”

You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.

You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.

You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.

You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.

“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”

“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.

“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”

“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”

“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”

END (or is it?)

[compassionatereminders]

I had a traumatic experience at an informal job with a toxic boss who never paid employees on time and would threaten with firing us anytime she suspected we slipped up. I also had a traumatic childhood, so this job experience did not help with my self-confidence at all. Two years after resigning from that job, I’m at a better job now and it’s backed by a contract; it’s much safer and there are a lot of steps that would need to happen for me to get fired. I do however still get anxiety about possibly messing up or saying something wrong and having any little issue or slip-up get me fired, which I know is irrational, but still eats me alive. I tend to overcompensate by people-pleasing or emailing my boss constantly and basically admitting guilt to whatever I thought I did wrong. He’s never blamed me for anything and has been pretty nice and understanding so far, but my anxiety keeps getting in the way of my self-confidence at work. It’s exhausting and it won’t let me sleep at night sometimes because I’m embarrassed at my anxious behavior around my boss and coworkers. What steps should I take to work on this? Therapy is not accessible to me right now.

When you get anxious, make a habit of telling yourself "I'm not stuck in that situation anymore. This is an irrational reaction based on past trauma. It isn't relevant now" and then try to ground and reorient yourself in the present moment where you are in a safe environment with safe people. Tell yourself "that was then, this is now" and try not to get completely overwhelmed by your anxiety when it shows up. Just observe that you're feeling anxious, remind yourself that it's irrational and that you're safe now, then do some breathing exercises and maybe some grounding exercises if needed and continue your day.

[eastofthemoon]

Ssoo, I ended up writing a follow up fic to my first Lego Monkie Kid fic. LOL

Title: The Aunt and the Monkey

Rating: G

Summary: On the one hand, MK is happy his aunt will be home for his birthday. On the other hand, he is not thrilled with having to explain to her about being Monkey King's successor. 

Archive of Our Own

--------------------------------

Pigsy hummed to himself as he finished filling up the pot with water.

“Now just need to get the noodles-”

“PIGSY! I GOT A PROBLEM!”

Pigsy yelped as he jumped and spilled the water from the pot onto the floor and himself.

His eyes twitched as he spun around. “MK! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SNEAKING UP ON ME?!”

“Sorry, sorry,” MK rambled as he shook Pigsy’s shoulders. “But I have a huge problem!”

Pigsy sighed as he held MK’s arm to calm the kid. “Alright, alright, what’s the issue.”

“Aunt Ling is coming home for my birthday!”

Pigsy blinked and scratched his head. “Um...correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that a good thing?”

MK sighed as he rubbed his neck. “Well, yeah, I’m happy she’ll be here, but that means I’m going to have to tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Pigsy then paused, raised an eyebrow and jabbed at MK’s chest. “Wait...do you mean-”

MK gave a sheepish grin. “About gaining Monkey King’s powers? Um..yeah.”

“It’s almost been a year! How could you not have told her about it yet?!” Pigsy yelled.

“Well, I didn’t think it something I explained in an email or on the phone,” MK hastily replied. “I mean...isn’t this the kind of thing you should do in person?!”

Pigsy raised, but then lowered his hand. The kid actually made a fair point. Ling was opened minded, but even she might have a hard time believing it if MK had just explained over the phone.

“So, now I got no choice, but to tell her,” MK continued as he began to pace. “I mean, I could just not tell her, but with my luck Red Son would come to attack right when we’re having dinner.”

Again, Pigsy couldn’t argue against that.

“Then just tell her kid,” Pigsy said.

“But what if she doesn’t want me to do it?!” MK waved his arms frantically. “You know how over protective she can be sometimes. Oh, no, what if the mere mention of it gives her a heart attack and-”

“Kid, breathe,” Pigsy said as he grabbed his shoulders. “Look, yeah, she might not like it, but you are old enough to make your own choices.”

MK sighed and chewed his bottom lip. “I know, but doing something that I know she hates just makes me feel, guilty, ya know?”

Pigsy sighed and patted his arm. “Yeah, I do, but let’s not jump to conclusions. You never know, she might be fine with it.”

“Y-yeah,” MK stammered. “But how do I tell her?”

Pigsy grabbed his chin. “When is she arriving?”

“Late tonight,” MK said.

Pigsy clapped his hands. “Alright, then in the morning you two can come in before we open. We butter her up with a couple bowls of noodles and you tell her.”

MK looked hopeful. “Do you honestly think that will work?”

“S-sure,” Pigsy said with a forced smile.

He had no sweet clue if it would work, but he did know people often took shocking news better on a full stomach. At the very least, Pigsy would be near by to back MK up.

“Okay,” MK said as he took a deep breath. “Thanks, Pigsy, I feel a lot better.”

“Anytime,” Pigsy said as he patted his back. “Happy Birthday by the way.”

MK gave a small laugh. “It’s not until tomorrow, but thanks.” He shoved his hands into his jacket. “I just hope Aunt Ling will be okay with the whole thing.”

Me too, Pigsy thought.

------------------------------------------

Everything happened just as they had planned.

MK and his aunt were at his front doors before he opened.

Ling gave Pigsy a huge hug.

“It’s great to see you, Pigsy,” she exclaimed and clapped her hands. “Thanks for letting us come in early.”

“No, problem,” Pigsy said as he rubbed his neck. “Birthday privileges you know?”

He glanced back to the kid. MK was smiling, while he had his hands tucked into his coat pockets and his eyes were twitchy.

 He’s a nervous wreck.

“How about the usual,” Pigsy said as he went behind the counter.

“That sounds great,” Ling said as she took a seat and MK next to her.

“Y-yeah, nothing beats Pigsy’s noodles bowls,” MK said.

It didn’t take long for them to finish their noodle bowls. MK quietly set down his chop sticks and looked up at her.

“Aunt Ling,” MK said with a sigh. “I have to tell you something.”

Ling frowned as she crossed her arms. “I had a feeling something was up.” She gave a laugh. “Alright, Sweetie, what did you do?”

MK rubbed his neck as he reached into his pocket. “You remember the Monkey King?”

Ling laughed. “Of course, that was always your favourite story growing up.”

“Well, he’s real,” MK said as he looked at her, “and he’s chosen me as his successful so I’ve inherited all of his powers.”

Ling blinked, tilted her head and laughed. “Okay, very funny, you almost had me there-”

“He’s serious, Ling,” Pigsy said as he leaned over the counter.

Ling froze. “W-what?”

MK stood up. “Here, might be better if I show you.”

He took up the tiny staff and had it instantly grow bigger.

Ling yelped. “What the-”

“And I can multiple myself, watch,” MK said as he tugged out a few strains of hair. He blew at them and suddenly two more Mks appeared in the room.

“Hi, Aunt Ling!” the clones greeted.

Ling yelped as she looked lost staring at the two nephews in front of her.

Just as fast as they appeared they vanished.

“I’ve been trying to shape shift, but I haven’t gotten there yet,” MK said as he rambled, “but I could show you-”

Pigsy cut him off as he touched his shoulder.

“I think she gets it, kid,” he said.

Ling looked like she was in shock as she hugged her purse to her chest.

“H-how did this even happen?” she asked.

MK rubbed his neck and gave a shaky laugh. “Well, it all started when I accidentally stumbled upon the Demon Bull King being released.”

“You what?”

“And I tried to get the staff to Monkey King, but they took it back, and then Monkey King told me I was his successor so I fought Demon Bull King and won.”

“YOU WHAT?!”

MK waved his hands. “I know it sounds dangerous, but I’m really getting the hand of fighting demons.”

Ling’s eyes twitched. “You..fight demons regularly?”

MK rubbed his neck. “Yeah, well, it is part of being a hero you know? But Monkey King has been training me.”

Pigsy watched Ling’s face carefully. She grew quiet like her brain was absorbing all of this information.

“I see,” she said. “And you’re happy about this?”

“It’s a dream come true! I feel like I found my true calling,” MK rambled with a nervous grin. “I know you’re probably worried, but don’t be! I’m doing great and Monkey King is a great mentor!” He hugged his staff to his chest. “So, um what do you think Aunt Ling? Are you okay that I do this?”

“Um...” Ling said as she glanced to Pigsy, took a breath and had a huge smile plastered on her face. “I-I think that’s wonderful, sweetheart!”

MK blinked as he tilted his head. “You do?”

“Of course!” Ling said as she hugged him, but Pigsy still couldn’t see her face. “This is clearly something you want and very important to you.” She let go of him and MK was beaming.

“Oh, wow, thanks, Aunt Ling,” MK he exclaimed and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, I was super worried you were going to freak out or something.”

Ling chuckled, but Pigsy’s ears couldn’t help notice it sounded a bit forced.

“Well, you’re old enough to make your own choices and if you’re happy that’s all that matters to me,” she replied.

MK wiped the sweat off his forehead and suddenly his phone buzzed. He picked it up and showed it to Ling. “It’s Mei, she says she has her birthday present for me.”

“Then you should go and see her,” Ling said as she patted MK’s head. “Why not bring her along for dinner later to celebrate.”

“Yeah, okay,” MK said as he headed out the door. “Oh, hey, maybe I can introduced you to Monkey King later too?”

“.....Yes, that sounds..great,” Ling replied.

MK continued to smile as he waved and left.

The door shut and Ling still didn’t move for several minutes. Pigsy leaned over the counter and coughed.

“Uh, Ling,” he asked. “You okay there?”

Ling slowly turned around. She was smiling, but it was clearly a forced smile. Pigsy was suddenly reminded of a soda bottle ready to burst open being opened.

“Pigsy, do you have somewhere a person could scream without being heard?” she asked in a very tense voice.

Pigsy pointed to his left. “The broom closet should be safe.”

“Thank you,” Ling said as she promptly collected her purse, got inside the closet and shut the door.

Seconds later muffled screams could be heard and Pigsy was rather impressed. He never knew Ling had such strong lungs.

-----------------------------------------------

“Alright,” Sandy said as he patted Ling’s back. “Just breathe in and out, in and out.”

Ling did as she instructed as she held the cup of tea in her hands. “In and out, in and out,” she repeated.

Pigsy watched next to her as he crossed his arms. Sandy was the first person he called once Ling had finished her scream fest in the closet. The woman was still wounded up and Sandy was the best candidate in calming a person down.

Tang adjusted his glasses as he whispered into Pigsy’s ear. “So, she never screamed in front of MK?”

“Nope,” Pigsy said. “She was careful to keep it all in.”

Tang stroked his chin. “Wow, she took it better than I thought she would. I was certain she would faint.”

Pigsy glared at him as Ling sipped at the tea.

“Thank you, Sandy,” she said. “The tea does help.”

“Always does,” Sandy said as he held up the kettle.

Ling took in a deep breath as she set down the cup. “Alright, now can someone explain to me how my nephew ended up as heir to the Monkey King?”

“It’s like how the kid said,” Pigsy said as he sat up. “It kind of just happened.”

“And none of you thought that maybe he was too young to be put in such a position?” she asked.

“Ling, he’s old enough to make his own decisions,” Pigsy said as he raised a hand. “You told MK this yourself.”

Ling sighed as she massaged her forehead. “I know but..he’s far to young to have that kind of responsibility on him! I could barely get him to clean his room and now he’s expected to fight demons?!”

Tang cleared his throat. “To be fair, I believe MK is more interested in being a hero than cleaning his room.”

Ling shot him a glare and sighed as she got her purse. “You know when I came home to surprise MK the worst I expected that MK got a tattoo or something.” She slouched into her seat. “This whole Monkey King business is that last thing I ever pictured.”

Tang raised an eyebrow. “So what are you planning to do?”

“What can I do?!” Ling said as she bolted upright. “I hate the idea of MK putting himself in danger, but he clearly wants this! If I tell him how I feel it’ll break his heart.”

Pigsy couldn’t deny that. It was why the kid was so anxious about telling his aunt in the first place.

“So, you’re not going to tell MK to stop being a hero?” Sandy asked.

Ling sighed and shook her head. “I’m going to support him, even if it means giving me grey hairs in the process.” Suddenly a look of fury crossed over her face. “However, I am going to have certain words with an immortal monkey.”

“He’s on Flower Fruit Mountain,” Tang replied as he cleaned his glasses, “but you will probably have a hard time finding him.”

Ling narrowed her eyes. “Have any of you ever played against MK and Mei in a game of hide and seek?”

Pigsy blinked glanced to the other two and all shook their heads.

“Then trust me when I say I will have an easier time finding the Monkey King,” Ling said as she left the door. “I should be back by dinner time, I’ll call MK if I’m running late.”

“Uh, sure thing,” Pigsy said with a wave as she left.

Sandy drummed his fingers against his knees. “So..uh, do you think she’s going to find him?”

“I don’t think it’s a matter of ‘if’,” Pigsy said as he rose, “I think it’s a question of when and if the Monkey King is going to survive this.”

Tang gave a laugh. “You’re exaggerating a bit. This is the famous Sun Wukong we’re talking about.”

Pigsy thought back to his mother and grandmother when they were angry. He didn’t felt so certain.

-----------------------------------------------

The rest of the day went as normal. Pigsy gave MK the day off since it was the kid’s birthday. Even he wasn’t that heartless. They all made plans to get together later for dinner to celebrate it.

He didn’t hear anything about Ling until later in the afternoon. Tang was at the counting trying to convince Pigys to give him a free bowl since it was MK’s birthday. Pigsy was prepared to tell him off when he heard the door and Tang yelped.

Pigsy frowned, turned and blinked surprise.

It was Monkey King.

He crossed his arms and gave a shaky smile. “Um..mind if I hide out here until MK gets back?”

Tang adjusted his glasses in shock and Pigsy raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘hide’?”

Monkey King paused and gave a shaky laugh. “Oh, uh, I just wanted to surprise the kid before I give him his birthday present and-”

“Ling found you didn’t she?” Pigsy finished.

Monkey King instantly growled as he buried his face into his hands. “Yes, that woman is relentless!” He waved his arms. “I kept changing animal forms so she wouldn’t find me, but she always did! I don’t know how she did it!”

He paced. “She keeps yelling at me about how ‘irresponsible’ I was for choosing someone so young, that I should think about my actions and make sure I’m not a bad influence.” Monkey King waved his arms in the arms. “Does she not realize what I was up to when I was MK’s age?!”

“I think that might be what she’s worried about,” Pigsy remarked.

“Um....” Tang said with a raised hand. “With all due respect, why are you ‘hiding’ from her? She isn’t a demon, just a mortal woman. She doesn’t have the strength to hurt you.”

Monkey King glared. “If she was a demon I’d have an easier time. I just beat them up and be done with it.” He placed his hands on his hips. “What kind of hero would I be for beating up a lady, especially that lady being the woman that raised MK.”

“Ah,” Tang said as he grasped his chin. “Fair point.”

“I wanted to see the kid to wish him happy birthday, but no way was I going to wait for him at Flower Fruit Mountain with Ling there,” Monkey King said. “So, I thought I wait for him here.”

“You do realize Ling is planning to come back here eventually?” Pigsy retorted.

Monkey King smirked. “Yeah, but she’s dead set on finding me first. I left bogus clues about where I was going, so that should keep her busy for-”

“THERE YOU ARE!”

Pigsy, Monkey King and Tang all yelped as Ling came storming in and slammed the door behind you.

She growled as she marched up to Monkey King and poked him in his chest. “How dare you run off! I wasn’t done talking to you!”

Monkey King tugged at his ears in frustration. “How did you know I would come here so fast?!”

“Woman’s intuition,” Ling said firmly and paused. “Also, you should know it’s very easy to bribe your monkeys with the right snacks.”

Monkey King blinked and groaned. “I’m going to have words with them when I get back!”

“That should be your last worry right now,” Ling hissed as she grabbed her shirt. “I’m not leaving you alone until you promise to keep my nephew safe.”

Monkey King sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lady, I told you, I’ll do my best, but he does have to face some danger-”

“Then you should have picked an adult for your successor and not a teenager!”

“Okay, okay,” Pigsy said as he got out from behind the counter. “You two settle down before-”

“I WIN,” Mei cried as she barged in and did a victory dance. “Ha, once again I win the race here....”

She saw the sight before her, blinked and pointed. “Um...did I interrupt something?”

Ling tugged on Monkey King’s shirt harder. “I’m just having WORDS with the Monkey King.”

Mei shoved her hand into her pocket and pointed over her shoulder. “Well, you might want to wrap it up since Mk is going to be here any sec and probably won’t be happy to see you two fighting.”

Panic overtook both Monkey King and Ling as just as Mei predicted MK appeared.

“Okay, I am so winning the next race,” he said and then he looked delighted. “Monkey King?! You’re here!”

“Uh, sure am, Bud,” Monkey King said as he got out of Ling’s grip and moved over to ruffle Mk’s hair. “No way I wouldn’t miss your birthday.”

“That’s great, thanks,” MK said with a smile and frowned. “Although, why are you here and not at Flower Fruit Mountain?”

“Well,” Monkey King glanced at Ling and smirked. “That’s cause your aunt invited me to join you guys for dinner.”

MK’s eyes beamed. “You did, Aunt Ling?”

Ling’s eyes twitched, but she put on a smile. “Yes, we were just discussing that.”

“Oh wow,” MK said and laughed. “You know, I was actually worried that you two wouldn’t get along, but glad to see I was wrong.”

Ling and Monkey King looked at each other with their eyes narrowed.

“Yes, wrong,” Monkey King muttered.

“Very wrong,” Ling said.

Tang cleared his throat. “Why don’t we head over to Sandy’s boat? I know he got decorations put up he like to show you.”

“Oh, good idea,” MK said and looked over. “You coming too, Pigsy?”

“Sure, kid,” Pigsy said with a wave of his hand. “Just need to lock up first.”

“Okay, we’ll meet you there,” Mei said as she guided MK out and they were followed by Tang. Ling and Monkey King lingered in the back, but they continued to glare at each other.

“We are not done that conversation,” Ling hissed.

“Oh, I think we are,” Monkey King hissed back.

Pigsy watched the door shut and let loose the air he had been holding in.

“It’s going to be a long night,” he grumbled.

[doyumacy]

FALLOUT |LH| SIX

*gif not mine

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: mentions of yuta, doyoung jeno. swearing, hospital (broken rib, bruises).

WORD COUNT: 2,8K

SEVEN

You spent the duration of the ride pondering if Donghyuck was seriously injured. Or if he had died. The car began to slow down, and you looked up to see where he was. The hospital.

After Donghyuck left you with the rest of the security team, you refused to go home and wanted to make sure he was okay. You couldn't lose him.

You made your way to the E.R and a nurse took you to the room where he was being treated by the doctors. You knocked on the door and then opened it. He was laying on a stretcher gurney. He was shirtless and had bandages around his ribs and an arm on his eyes covering them.

"Donghyuck?" You called.

"(Y/N)?," He stared at you. "What are you doing here?"

You rushed through the door and finally got a good look at him. He had bruises all over his chest and waist. Your eyes started watering. "You look like hell." You breathed. Your hand instinctively looked out his. Donghyuck was pale and his skin was clammy.

"I know," he admitted. "But you cannot be in here. Please leave, (Y/N)."

"I won't leave," you held his hand and squeezed it. "What did the doctors say? Are you hurt?"

"I have a broken rib," Donghyuck tried to sit and growled. "Please go home, you'll be safer there. I couldn't even protect you out there, what makes you think I will be here?"

"Hey, hey," you whispered and cupped his face in your hands, "it's not your fault. I'm okay, I'm not hurt and that wasn't your fault, okay?"

"We need to talk., (Y/N). There’s something you need to know..." He stared at you.

Suddenly, the door opened harshly revealing an upset Yuta. He had his jaw tightened and grabbed your arm roughly, almost making you whine. "You will not spend a single minute with this useless bodyguard. We're leaving, (Y/N)."

"Yuta," you let go off of his grip. "What are you even doing here?"

"I came to do his motherfucking job: protecting you. You almost die today, (Y/N)." Yuta stared at you and then looked at Donghyuck. "Don't you ever even bother to come back. You're fired."

"I'm the one who makes that call, Yuta," you glanced at him. "You cannot speak for me and he's not fired. This wasn't his fault."

"Oh my God, (Y/N)," Yuta rolled his eyes. "Is he fucking you so good that you will defend him?"

You opened your mouth to speak but Yuta raised his hand. "I saw you two kissing the other day. Is this your new hobby? Fucking your bodyguard?"

"My life and who I fuck is none of your business. Get the fuck out of here." You demanded.

"You're coming with me," he grabbed your hand and you groaned letting go off of his grip again. He growled and snapped his fingers. Two big men entered the room and grabbed you by force. You screamed and kicked in the air but it was useless. Donghyuck tried to stand up but it was stopped by Yuta who placed him back on the stretcher gurney, pressing his broken rib making Donghyuck growl in pain. "I'll have to finish your stupid task since you couldnt keep your hands to yourself, asshole."

"Don't you dare to hurt her!" Donghyuck said between teeth, causing Yuta to laugh.

"Please don't tell me you fell for her..." He laughed again. "It's so pathetic. Well, I hope you fucked her good last night because you won't see her again."

And before Donghyuck could stand up again, Yuta injected something through his IV making him dizzy and putting him to sleep. “Sweet dreams.”

After you got home, you slapped Yuta in the face twice. You punched him in his chest a few times and then pushed him. You were crying. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, do you hear me?!”

He grabbed your wrists, trying to calm down and looked at him. “You should be thanking me.”

“I love him!” You exclaimed, “I don’t care about you. Stay fucking quiet, dont you understand?”

Yuta sighed, frustrated and then glanced at you. “My bodyguards will stay here tonight. You should be safe.”

“Fuck you.”

Yuta ignored you and left your house. You screamed and threw a flagon to the door. You grabbed your purse trying to find your phone to call Donghyuck and realised Yuta had taken it with him. You went to your home office and unlocking a drawer with your fingertip, you pulled out an old iPhone and turned it on.

You frowned as soon as you saw the first notification, an email for Kim Doyoung.

From: KDY

To: (Y/N)

Meet me. We need to talk. It’s important.

You gulped. Why did he want to see? Was he behind the shooting? You certainly couldn’t tell Donghyuck about, what if he ended up dead now?

You sighed and replied to his email.

From: (Y/N)

To: KDY

When and where?

Doyoung replied a couple of seconds later.

From: KDY

To: (Y/N)

Tonight. 11 pm in the place as usual. Go alone.

You placed the phone on the desk and started to think how you would escape. Yuta’s bodyguards were outside your house everywhere.

You’d come up with a plan anytime soon.

Later that day, you were finally able to reach Donghyuck. He was at his place, still recovering from the broken rib but he’ll come back as soon as the sedative was out of his system. You assured him you wanted him in your life and Yuta was not going to be an obstacle to be together.

At night, Yuta visited you again but you refused to leave your room and he gave up leaving. By 10:30 you left your bed and it didn't creak, and when you put your feet on the floor it didn't squeak. You mentally congratulated yourself on the new accomplishment and tiptoed to the door, grabbing his classic black cap on the way out. You went to Donghyuck’s bedroom and you thanked your mom for loving balconies and forcing you to have one in your guest’s bedroom.

With a quick glance to the yard, you climbed down out the balcony, keeping a steady eye on the guard standing next to the yard door. You had never felt so heavy as you slowly moved past, your body barely moving as your feet carried you carefully by. After safely making it out past there, you went to the back door that connected with one of your neighbour Jungwoo

You weren't exactly best friends with him but he wouldn't mind if you used his door. As you got out of his house, you saw a bright light in front of you. You covered your eyes with your arm and squinted your eyes trying to know who was on it. A man dressed in all back wearing a helmet walked to you and you gulped. Was he one of Yuta's men?

The man took off the helmet and you were suddenly breathless. It was Donghyuck. You inhaled deeply and jumped to his arms hugging him tightly. He whined placing a hand on his ribs but hugged you tight with his other arm. "Oh, my God. I'm sorry," you got away from him quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you would try to sneak out somehow," he told you and cupped your cheek with one hand. "Are you going to see Doyoung?"

"H-how did you know?" You looked at him.

"I just knew he would reach out to you." Donghyuck looked at you. "C'mon, I'll take you there."

When you got the abandoned building, Donghyuck and you went to the roof waiting for Doyoung to show up. You crossed your arms against your chest and sighed. "Do you think he's behind this?"

Donghyuck shook his head. "No."

"Then who?" You looked at him.

Donghyuck remained quiet and admired the city from top. He was going to tell you, but he wasn't ready to watch you break.

"I told you to come alone, (Y/N)." Doyoung reminded you, walking behind you.

You turned and sighed. "I couldn't. Sorry."

"It's okay. I trust him anyways, don't I?" Doyoung glanced at Donghyuck, who just made eye contact with him for a couple of seconds. "Whatever, I'm glad you made it. I heard you were attacked this morning."

You nodded and tugged your hands in the back pockets of your jeans. "Doyoung?"

He hummed without stopping looking at you. You bit your lip, almost trembling and looked at him again. Doyoung frowned. "You think I did it."

"I-I d-don't," you stuttered.

"Do I have reasons to kill you?" Doyoung raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

"Well..." you sighed nervously. "I might have said something I shouldn't have."

"I know." He fixed the sleeves of his suit jacket.

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What?"

"I have people working for me in the government, (Y/N). Of course I'd knew if you would open your mouth."

"But no, I'm not the one behind this. My men slit throats, they don't shoot people. And well, do you see them going after your throat?"

You shook your head. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed because I like you. You seem like a good woman but I don't like when they open their mouths to shit on me."

"Doyoung, I-"

"Let me finish." He stood in front of you and leaned closer to you. "Were you really going to turn me in?"

You gulped again. Doyoung somehow cornered you against the wall and Donghyuck grabbed his arm tightly. "Don't."

Doyoung glanced at him and a little smirk appeared on his lips. "I didn't believe it when I heard it."

You were confused. Did they know each other?

"I won't turn you in. They needed information and I gave them some, but I would never. Please believe me." You looked at Doyoung.

Doyoung returned his attention to you and smiled. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'll make sure of it," Donghyuck spoke first and glanced at you quickly. "Right?"

You nodded rapidly and Doyoung squinted his eyes not breaking eye contact with you. "Fine. And (Y/N)? There won't be a next time. If something like this happens again I'll be the one who slit your throat."

"Now leave before I change my mind and slit both of your throats."

Donghyuck grabbed your hand and left the roof going downstairs. He was walking at a fast pace and you have to almost run to follow his pace. Before getting on the bike, you stood up in front of him. “You know him.” You affirmed.

Donghyuck just sighed and looked at you. “I’ll tell you whatever you need to know, but not now. Get on the bike.”

“I can’t go back to my house. Yuta is being a pain in the ass treating me as if I were some damsel in distress and I can’t take it anymore.”

“You’re not going to your house. You’re going to mine,” Donghyuck kissed you and the feeling that kiss gave you was everything. “I love you, (Y/N).”

You smiled against his lips, feeling the weight of his words sink in, but in a good way. And you were so happy he felt the same way. “I love you, too.”

You two arrived at his apartment and you were surprised by a not that tall man with black hair. He greeted you and introduced himself as Jeno and Donghyuck’s best friend. Jeno was nice and decided to give some privacy excusing himself to his bedroom.

Donghyuck walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. “Wanna drink something? Water? Beer? Apple juice?”

“I’m good, thanks,” you said, taking a look at Donghyuck's living room. You noticed the floor was paved with wooden floor and the wall was paved with white bricks. That color made the room bigger. It had a big window facing the street and it had light grey curtains. There was a black sofa with a white glass coffee table. They were very suitable for each other. The living room also had a black TV which was on a square cabinet, some art paintings on the wall and a large white shelf, and on it, there were three frames; a photo of Donghyuck holding a baby.

He walked to you and leaned against the wall in front of you. "Her name is Jiwoo. She's my niece."

You smiled. "Is it the same girl from all these photos?"

"Yeah," he smirked, still leaning against the wall, "she grew up so fast."

"Do you visit her often?" You asked, placing the portrait on its place again.

"Not anymore. My sister decided to move to Jeju and I try to visit as much as I can, but sometimes work won't let me."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" He frowned.

"You hadn't even been to your place in days because of me," you sighed. "You should take a break and go visit them."

"I'm not leaving you alone during this time." Donghyuck cupped both of your cheeks in his hands and looked into your eyes. "When all of this is over I'm gonna take you so you can meet them."

Your face lighted up with a smile and put your arms around his waist. "You will?"

"It's a promise," he gave you a peck on the nose. "They're gonna love you."

“I’m looking forward to it then,” you smirked and caressed his lower lip with your thumb. “Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted and you need to rest.”

He nodded and kissed you. “Please promise me you won’t stop loving me. Ever.”

You kissed him back, pressing your body against his. “I love you. Forever.”

“Hyuck?” you called, after a pause on chopping some vegetables. “Are you even listening?”

He blinked and shifted his weight to his other foot. He wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” Donghyuck smiled.

There was a pause in which he could feel you looking at him. And then you relaxed, smiling. “Did I say that out loud?”

You blushed almost up to your ears, causing him to chuckle softly as he passed his fingers over his hair.

“Yes, you did,“ you said, still blushed. Puffing up your cheeks in a bit of a pout you huffed at him. “You just wanted an excuse to make me blush, didn’t you?”

“In fact, the cheek-coloring reaction is a universal human response to social attention. The veins in the face dilate, causing more blood to flow into your cheeks..." Jeno interrupted your moment entering the kitchen. "Sorry, folks, but I'm starving."

You laughed and went back to chop the vegetables. "I'm making Mongolian chicken if you want."

"No idea what's that but it sounds good," Jeno sat next to Donghyuck and winked at him. "So, are you two dating?"

Donghyuck cleared his throat and fixed his shirt. You shrugged, taking the chicken breast out of the fridge. "We fuck and tell each other 'I love you', is that dating?" You looked at Donghyuck.

"You haven't asked her to be your girlfriend?!" Jeno stared at him.

"I'm planning to!" Donghyuck groaned. "Go away, Jeno."

You giggled. "I don't mind, really. We don't have to level it up or whatever."

"Now she's nice. You better keep her." Jeno said.

"If you don't shut up she won't feed you," Donghyuck warned him.

“Why are you sweating, Donghyuck? Are you nervous?” Jeno mocked him.

“Shut up, Jeno!” Donghyuck pushed him.

“Break it up, boys, or neither of you will eat,” you warned them.

After you three finished eating, Jeno went out leaving you two alone again. Donghyuck dragged you with him to the grey couch in the living room and surrounded you with his arms. You could tell he wanted to tell you something, but something was holding him back. You rest your head in the space between his shoulder and his neck and give him a few pecks there. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," he whispered. "But I'm scared I'm gonna lose you."

"You won't," You looked at him. "Donghyuck? What 's going on?"

Donghyuck sighed and sat up on the couch. "I've been lying to you."

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“I was hired to kill you.”

[rina-writes]

Leaked

Summary: When your nudes get leaked by your ex, you worry about how this will change Grayson’s perception of you.

Warnings: Revenge porn/manipulative ex, protective Grayson, fluff (tw marked within story)

The view was blurred as you tried to stop the tears from pouring out of your eyes. You let out another shaky breath, trying to anchor yourself despite feeling a million miles away.  You could barely see the large green palm trees fluttering against the blue sky.  It just looked like waves and shimmers.  The Dolan household was an oasis for you.  A safe place created by the twins themselves when Grayson first invited you over after your third date. When Ethan heard you lived in a studio with a roommate, he jokingly suggested that you move into Grayson’s tiny house. Grayson was half serious when he agreed to it.  You hated to think that the next time you sat in this spot, you would be reminded of your dirt bag ex and the pictures that would ruin your life forever.

You let out a sigh and put down your paint brush.  You were done painting for today, for sure.  Your plan was to paint his backyard and give it to him to put up.  He and Ethan were planning on making an office and you wanted to give him a personal gift.  Your “short break” to look at social media turned into revealing the worst thing that has happened to you in a very long time.  With your creativity dashed and your nerves set ablaze, you decided to focus on the real issue:  how you would tell Grayson.  

Grayson wasn’t exactly innocent.  While he was the type of guy that liked to be in a relationship before being intimate, he had plenty of practice.  You could see his experience in the way his hazel eyes with darken and a smirk tugged on his full pink lips anytime he realized you were in the mood.  Sure, he had rippling abs and cut arms because he wants to be the best version of himself.  However, he would be the first to admit that being able to toss his girlfriend over his shoulder and ravish her with ease was a great perk as well.  

You also knew that Grayson knew that you weren’t innocent either. At the same time, you never sent him any sexy pictures or videos.  The raciest text you sent was probably something like, ‘I wish you were in bed with me.’ It probably never occurred to Grayson that you would be into that kind of thing.

tw: talks about manipulation by ex-partner

To be honest, you don’t know what came over you back then. Sending naked pictures was something everyone knew was risky and dangerous.  Your ex had a way of persuading you to do anything. He pried on your insecurities and desire to be loved, coaxing you into things that made you uncomfortable under the familiar, but sickening logic of “if you loved me, you’d do it.” Then, he would berate you for doing exactly what he said.  You shouldn’t have been surprised that he would one day threaten to post these pictures.  He often told you he would send it to your family or to your coworkers whenever you did something he didn’t like. Sometimes, you were happy he left you for someone else. You knew that he would never let you break up with him and would punish you if you ever managed to get away.

tw end

You were incredibly grateful that you met Gray about a year later.  He showed you what it felt like to be cared for and loved.  He helped you to push past your insecurities and help you find new things to boost your confidence, like painting!  He was always in tune with your emotions. It was good and bad because it meant that sometimes he could sense something wrong before you were ready to tell him. You had a feeling this was going to be one of those issues.

As if right on cue, Grayson knocked on the door of the patio to get your attention. You glanced back to see a sheepish grin on his face.  He had been filming with Ethan all day.  At first, he felt bad for abandoning you on your day off.  You reminded him that you enjoyed your ‘me’ time and would be happy to get some time to paint. You hadn’t told him about your surprise so, you knew he was worried that you were secretly feeling neglected.  You had to shoo him from the pool area multiple times as he kept “forgetting” things he left around you. 

You widened your eyes and blinked a few times to hide your tears.  You smiled widely as he sat next to you. You thought you did a pretty job of looking composed.

“Have you been on Twitter all day?” He teased, gesturing at the phone in your hand as he leaned on your the top of your lawn chair.

“What, why?” You asked, alarmed, immediately clicking the button to lock your already locked phone. 

Your serious expression took him by surprise and Grayson narrowed his eyes.  He held your chin and analyzed your face.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that something was wrong.

“Babe, did something happen?” He asked, frowning, his thick brows making his eyes deepen.  “I was just teasing you about not painting…”

“Oh…” You shifted uncomfortably, pulling away from him.  You tried to discretely push your phone under your thigh.  “Sorry, I guess I’m a little jumpy.  You know, work has been tough.  Really needed this vacation.”

“Don’t do this…” Grayson said, slumping his shoulders, letting go of your chin.  “I know you’re lying. I don’t like when you hide things from me.”

“I don’t know…” You let out a shaky breath.  “I don’t know if I can tell you right now.”

He smoothed your hair out of your face and kissed your forehead.  “You can tell me anything, when you’re ready.”  He put his arm around as he sat in the chair next to you.  “I just wish I could help you now.”

The moment your nose met the crook of his neck, the tears started pouring out of you like a river.  He held you tighter, his body hardening as if literally becoming his rock.  He pulled you into his lap and your sobs became uncontrollable the moment your cheek hit his chest. Your tears were soaking his tank top and you were sure it was getting on his bare shoulders as well.  But, Grayson never stopped holding you.  Eventually, you calmed down and just rested your head on his chest.  He rubbed your back and said nothing.  You could hear him breathing deeply as if trying to calm himself down.  He hated seeing you distraught, especially since it was rare.  Like him, you tried to be cheerful around those you love.  So, if you broke down, it had to be something terrible.  

“Promise me that you won’t change how you see me…” You said softly, finally looking at him.

“Nothing would make me do that.”  Grayson said, grabbing your chin and resting his forehead on yours.  He quirked an eyebrow,  “Well maybe not nothing… If you killed Ethan, it would be kinda rough.”

You gave a soft laugh.  You needed that.  You reached over behind Grayson, to the previous chair you were sitting in to grab your phone.  You unlocked it and handed it to him.

His breath hitched as he scrolled to read the email.  You closed your eyes, feeling them stinging with tears again.

The email was filled with multiple pictures of you almost completely naked.  You were usually wearing underwear, but even that didn’t cover much.  Most of them didn’t have your face, but someone could probably tell it was you.

“Is this from your ex?” Grayson practically growled.  You opened your eyes to see his jaw set and his eyes wild. 

“Gray…”

“Is that bastard blackmailing you?!” He yelled.  “What the f*ck... I’ll kill him.”

“Calm down…” You said, resting your hand on his chest. “I don’t want to make him upset. We haven’t come out publicly, but I’m sure he’s sending this because he knows you and I are together.  If we piss him off,  he’ll post these photos and your fans will be retweeting that you’re dating a slut.”

Grayson stared at you in disbelief. He grabbed your shoulders tightly, and your wince made him loosen his grip.  His eyes searched your face for a moment as though his brain was also thinking of the right thing to say.  

“Y/N, I don’t give a flying f*ck right now about what anyone thinks.” His voice was deep and firm.  

You could tell his blood was boiling, but he was trying not to scare you. Let’s face, Angry Grayson was definitely more fun to enjoy when the anger was not targeted at you. He knew that and often tried to be gentler around you. 

Grayson continued to speak, “You have no right to feel ashamed. Everyone has taken photos to feel good about themselves.  You trusted him with this. Now, he is using it to ruin your life because you decided to date someone better? F*ck that guy.  I’ll kill him.  NO, we’ll sue him and then I’ll kill him.”

“Grayson…” You hugged him tightly.  

He hugged you back, cradling you in his arms gently.  “I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered, his voice become gently again as he nuzzled your hair.  “I’ll call our lawyers at the management company.  They will know what to do.”

“Thank you.”  You choked out, getting emotional again at the sound of lawyers.  How could you be so stupid? How did you let it get to this point?

“We have to work quickly.” Grayson said, standing up still holding you in his arms, your cellphone pressing into your back as he kept a hold of it.  “I worry that if you take too long he will leak a few to scare you.  We gotta loop in E and see if he can help us out too.”

You sniffled.  You forgot that Ethan would know too.  Ethan who viewed you like a sister.  Oh god, would Grayson tell Lisa and Cameron too? Would the entire Dolan family now view you as a scamp?

“I’m so sorry, Gray.”  You apologized again.  “I feel so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be!” Gray said, carrying you into the house.  “You’re beautiful, baby.  I don’t blame you for wanting to show it off.  I just wished I could have met you before that prick.  Then I’d have pretty pictures and one less face to smash in.”

He gave you a grin and despite the deep, gnawing sadness in the pit of your stomach, you managed to smile back. He kissed your forehead and you closed your eyes a few more tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I love you, baby.  I got this. Trust me.”  Grayson said.  “I won’t hurt you like he hurt you.”

You kissed his cheek.  “I know.”  You had always known, but this solidified it.

[anna-justice]

26 Kisses - Upstead

Summary: Twenty-Six times Jay and Hailey kissed for the first time. (Ft. lots of characters finding them in compromising positions...)

Warnings: fluff, angst, several declarations of love…(it’s also like 10,000 words, sorry lol)

Requested: No

…

A - Accident

Jay sat next to Hailey on a barstool at Molly’s, they were near the back with his brother and Kevin, who were engrossed in their own conversation. Every so often Hailey would laugh at something one of them said and completely capture Jay’s attention. 

Hailey snuck glances at her partner as she sipped her beer, he looked more handsome than normal and Hailey was convinced that it was his carefree attitude. And the fact that he was in a situation to constantly harass his brother. 

“Right Hailey?” Kevin asked from across the table, pulling her out of her trance.

Hailey’s head snapped from Jay to him, “Hmm?” 

Kevin laughed, “I told Will that Jay never sits at his own desk, he’s always at yours. I was asking for confirmation.” 

Hailey smirked as Will laughed, “Oh yeah, always.” 

Jay rolled his eyes, leaning down to whisper something along the lines of “you like it” to Hailey, but at the exact same time, she turned her head to look at him, causing their lips to meet for just a moment. Both jumped back in surprise. Will and Kevin looked at each other and then at the pretty much couple, fighting the urge to burst out laughing. 

Jay searched Hailey’s face for any look or regret, finding none, he leaned down and captured her lips with his. “Woah,” Kevin said, dragging out the middle while Will covered his mouth in surprise. Hailey wrapped her arms around his neck, completely forgetting that their friends were sitting right next to them. 

When the two finally pulled away, Hailey blushed, seeing several peoples eyes on her. Jay hopped off his stool, pulling Hailey with him. “We’re getting out of here.” He said, throwing a twenty on the table. 

Will smirked and waved at the pair, “Bye bye, baby brother.”

B - Bears

“Wooooooo!” Adam screamed, jumping out of his chair. The Bears had just scored another touchdown against the Saints and were ahead by 6. The whole unit was there, Intelligence had worked a case involving one of the owner’s families and had been given endzone tickets for the upcoming game. 

That’s how Hailey ended up sandwiched between Jay and Vanessa in the second quarter of the game. Now, Hailey loved Chicago and their sports teams just as much as the next girl, but her partner was some sort of psycho. Everytime one of their players was holding the ball, Jay would look over at her, grinning wide. Inversely, if the referee was anywhere close to defending the other team, the strew of curse words was never ending. 

Before she knew it, it was halftime and the screens were playing those corny Dr. Pepper commercials. Hailey pulled out her phone, checking her email and then scrolling through facebook. Suddenly there was a scream beside her and the crowd erupted, Hailey jumped out of her skin, looking at Vanessa. “What’s wrong.” Hailey was surprised to find her best friend grinning ear to ear. 

“Look.” She said, gesturing to the jumbo-trons. Hailey raised to gaze to the massive screams and felt her heart stop. There was a giant heart around her and Jay, with the words Kiss Cam above it. The yelling around her got louder, meaning the rest of the unit was now aware of her predicament. 

Jay cleared his throat beside her, smirking as she looked at him with wide eyes. He pointed to the screens, “Come on Hailey, the fans want it.” 

“Jay-” Before she could say no, his lips were on hers. Hailey’s brain literally stopped working and all the screaming fans around them just faded away. Jay’s hand was resting on her cheek and she grabbed his shoulder to pull him closer. The hoots and hollers started and Hailey blushed, only then remembering that they were in an arena with a hundred thousand other people, including their unit…

Everyone around them was laughing, along with Jay whose eyes never left hers, “I think it’s safe to say that we all want to be invited to that wedding.” The announcer says and Jay smirks, ignoring all of the screaming around him and attaching his lips to Hailey’s again. 

C - Coffee

Hailey rubbed her eyes as she leaned over the pot of black liquid, she was on her fifth, maybe sixth cup of the day and at this point she was wondering if it was even doing anything. She absentmindedly poured it into a large mug, not even bothering to add any cream or sugar, it was going to taste terrible either way. She turned around to head back to her desk, but instead she collided with a wall. 

“Woah.” Just kidding, it was Jay. He jumped back as the mug hit the floor, the contents of it all over Jay’s shirt. The glass shattered and flew everywhere, causing tears to well up in Hailey’s eyes. She was exhausted and every time she moved she made more work for herself. 

Hailey sniffled, “I’m so sorry Jay.” She said, grabbing a paper towel off the counter behind her, she pressed it to his stomach, attempting to ignore his rock hard abdomen under the thin material of the shirt. 

Jay fought the urge to chuckle, as sweet as it was for Hailey to try and clean him up, he was drenched and her one paper towel was doing nothing. “Hailey, it’s fine.” He said smiling. 

Hailey looked up at him and smiled, “Really?” She was a mess, she hadn’t slept for more for a few hours in days and it was getting to her. Her brain felt like absolute mush. 

“Yeah, of course…” Jay said cautiously, eyeing his partner. She looked like a zombie, a beautiful zombie, but a zombie nonetheless. “Hailey, maybe you should go home.” He said, they were the only two left besides Voight, who had been locked in his office for hours. 

“I can’t, I haven’t had time to do any paperwork in days.” She sighed, leaning against the counter. “I’m so behind.” 

Jay took a step forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Leave your files on my desk and I will finish up your paperwork.”

Hailey felt her eyes well up again, “Jay, no, you hate paperwork.”

Jay just shrugged and gave her a small smile, “You need sleep Hailey, I’d have to redo it anyway.” Hailey rolled her eyes at his comment, of course Jay could make fun of her at any moment. 

“Thank you.” Hailey said, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck. At first, Jay was shocked, tensing under her touch, but eventually he relaxed, reveling in how it felt to have Hailey’s face buried in his neck. Hailey breathed in heavily, she didn’t want to move, but she knew if she didn’t there was a very high chance she would fall asleep right then and there. 

Hailey pulled away, stopping to look up at him. Jay’s gaze dropped to her lips before finding her eyes again, he leaned end slowly, gently capturing her lips with his. It was slow and sweet and completely innocent, but it was perfect. Hailey pulled away, letting her eyes linger closed. She bit her lip, feeling her cheeks heat up. Jay reached out and brushed a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear, “Call me when you get home, okay?” 

Hailey nodded, walking towards the door. She turned to face him with a bright smile on her face. “Goodnight Jay.”

“Goodnight Hailey.”

D - Drunk

Hailey leaned against her kitchen counter, she was pretty gone and wasn’t stopping anytime soon. It had been a tough few days, the case involving way too many dead kids. She was so upset that when she got home she didn’t even bother to wait for Jay and the six pack he promised. She went straight for the whiskey.

The doorbell rang and Hailey shuffled to it, revealing a very sexy man on the other side. Hailey leaned against the door, smiling a lot more flirty than usual. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jay said cautiously, he had never seen Hailey like this before, she was usually able to hold her liquor. He dropped the six pack on the counter and slipped onto one of the stools underneath the island. “You been drinking without me?” 

Hailey smirked, bringing her hand up to show a tiny amount, “A little bit.” 

“Sure,” Jay said, laughing. 

Hailey sat on the stool next to him, her inhibitions nowhere to be found. All she could think about was the man standing in front of her, whose biceps were practically bursting out of his grey v-neck. Hailey reached out and traced the end of the sleeve, not noticing the goosebumps that appeared on his skin. “You should wear these more often.” Hailey said.

This time it was Jay’s turn to smirk, “Really?” He asked, “You like?” Hailey nodded confidently and Jay chuckled, “Good to know.”

Hailey sighed, setting her head on her hand on the counter. “I like you, Jay.” She said.

Jay sucked in a breath, staring at his very intoxicated partner. He couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. “I like you too, Hailey.” Hailey wasted no time launching herself into his arms, pressing her lips to his. Much to her dismay, Jay pulled away. He reached out and brushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Not right now, Hailes. I want you to remember this.” Hailey nodded, sighing as he pressed his lips to her forehead. “Let’s get you to bed.”

E - Everyday

“Hailey!” Jay shouted, following his partner into the locker room. 

Hailey spun around, glaring at her partner. “What?” She spit.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked.

Hailey laughed dryly. “What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?” Jay stood there dumbfounded and it only made Hailey more angry. Hailey’s jaw dropped, she couldn’t find the words to express how she felt. “Jay! You literally just jumped in front of a moving car!”

“You were the one standing in front of a moving car!” Jay yelled back.

Hailey huffed, “This isn’t about me!” 

“This is all about you, I shoved you out of the way.” Jay snapped, “And you are the one making a big deal of it!” 

“I never asked you to save me, Jay!” Hailey growled, running her hands through her hair. “You put yourself in harm's way everyday, do not put that on me!”

Jay scoffed, “You didn’t have to ask me, Hailey, I will always save you.” He said, rushing forward. 

Hailey took a step forward, leaving very little space between them, “Well stop.”

“No.” Jay said, standing his ground. Hailey wants to be furious, she has to watch him be reckless with his own life everyday, but the thought that it was all for her was making her knees weak. Jay stared her down, his nostrils flaring. “I’m gonna kiss you.”

“Good.” That was all it took to send his lips crashing into hers, Jay’s arms wrapped around Hailey’s waist to keep her standing, the force of him knocking her off her balance. Hailey wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. She was going into overdrive, the feeling of his lips on hers was all consuming. Hailey leans back, catching her breath as Jay presses his forehead against hers. “I think we should do that again.”

“Oh definitely.”

F - Flannel 

Their thing that works always works. That’s why it works. Each of them can wake up the next morning and be able to do their job, leaving the baggage in the trash with the bottle. But today, the thing that works was not working in Hailey’s favor.

Hailey woke up with a groan, immediately blinded by the light shining from the window.It was disorienting to say the least, she had blackout curtains in her bedroom, so there shouldn’t be light. It took her until she was sitting up to notice that she wasn’t in her bedroom, she was in a living room. And not just anyone’s living room, he was in Jay Halstead’s living room. She looked around, getting a grip on her surroundings when her eyes fell on a passed out Jay at the other end of the couch. She smiled to herself, he looked peaceful to say the least, mouth slightly open and his usual worried face was relaxed.

She picked her phone up off the table, almost dropping it when she saw the time. “No, no.” She said frantically, hitting Jay’s leg. “Jay get up, we’re late.” She ran around the small apartment gathering her things.

“What?” Jay asked, waking with a start. 

Hailey turned to him, “It’s 7:30, we are so late.”

“Shit.” Jay said jumping up. He ran to his room throwing on new clothes and brushing his teeth. He tosses a flannel at Hailey when he enters the room, she gives him a look. “Hailey, you can’t show up late in yesterday’s clothes.”

Hailey nods at him, “Yeah, thanks,” before speed walking past him and into his bedroom to change. The button up shirt was way too big, but Hailey tucked in the bottom and rolled up the sleeves, hoping that it wouldn’t be too obvious that it was Jay’s.

Jay waited patiently by the door with two cups of coffee, but he almost dropped them when he saw her. Hailey always looked breathtaking, but even more so in his clothes. “Ready?” He asked, and with a silent nod the two bid goodbye and headed to the district in separate cars.

Twenty minutes later, Kim sat at her desk watching the clock. It was almost eight and Jay and Hailey were still MIA, which wasn’t normal for either of them. She was just about to call Jay when he came bounding up the stairs to the bullpen. He went straight for his desk. Not five minutes later, Hailey walked up the steps, giving Kim a kind smile as she walked by.

Kim returned it, obviously, but she couldn’t help but notice that Hailey’s shirt was way too big for her and that she had definitely seen it before...on a certain detective in their uit. A lightbulb went off in her brain and she had to hide her expression. Jay and Hailey were late together. It finally happened. 

Kim jumped up, “Jay, can I borrow you for a second?”

“Yeah,” Jay replied, following her into an interrogation room. “What’s up?”

“Hailey Upton is wearing your shirt.” She said.

“Ki-”

“Finally! My God, what took you so long? We’ve been watching the two of you make puppy dog eyes at each other for years? I’m so happy for you guys, Jay you are so lucky, she is so into you.” Kim rushed out, a big smile on her face.

Jay stood there in shock, “Kim, nothing happened.”

Kim scoffed, “Sure.”

“No. Nothing happened, she fell asleep on my couch last night.” The smile on Kim’s face fell and she turned read.

“Shit.” She mumbled, “Forget all of this.”

Jay made his way back to his desk, but the only thing he could think about was Kim’s words. Could Hailey really be into him? After a whole day of not being able to focus, Jay followed Hailey into the locker room, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you have a different shirt?” He asked, as soon as they were out of sight.

Hailey turned slowly, “Um, I can ask Kim for one. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll give it back-”

“No. Shit. Hailes, I’m sorry.” He said, rubbing his forehead. “I just, I just haven’t been able to think straight all day.” Hailey felt her breath catch in her throat at his confession, he took a step forward, watching her closely. “You, in my shirt, my mind is mush.”

Hailey thought her mind was mush, Jay had never been so direct with her before and she had to admit, she liked it. “Jay-”

“Can I please, please kiss you?”

“You better.” That was all it took for Jay to pounce, Hailey’s back hitting the locker behind her as his mouth molded into hers. Her hands found his hair as he began to drag his lips across her jawline, finding the spot right behind her ear. Hailey fought the urge to moan, trying to remember that their teammates were just down the hall. Hailey grabbed his face and guided his lips back to hers, kissing him passionately.

They broke apart when they heard a shriek behind them, “Dammit Halstead, I knew you were full of shit!” Kim yelled, pointing at them, causing both of them to laugh. Kim backed away angrily before throwing a wink over her shoulder at Hailey. Hailey smirked, before attaching her lips to Jay’s once again.

G - Girl’s Night

Hailey sat on her couch with Vanessa and Kim, it had been a long week and the girls decided that they needed a night of wine and romcoms. They were two bottles deep and a movie and a half in, and as soon as the sad music starts, Hailey regrets choosing A Walk to Remember. 10 minutes ago she thought she needed a good cry and a break from happy endings, she changed her mind.

“What?” Vanessa screams, standing up. “No.” She chucks a piece of pizza at the screen as Hailey and Kim laugh, they forgot that Vanessa had never seen this movie. Vanessa collapses back down on the couch and looks to Hailey, eyes filled with tears. “She has cancer?”

Hailey frowns, wiping tears of her own, “Aww sweetie, come here.” Vanessa tucks herself into Hailey’s side as a blubury Kim joins them. The three (normally very intimidating women) turned their direction back to the TV and watch Jamie run away from Landon.

As the movie goes on, Vanessa only cries harder, along with Hailey and Kim, who are surprised to find that no matter how many times they watch the movie, they will still sob the entire time. They make it to the part when Landon is about to propose, but before he can get the words out, the doorbell rings. Hailey jumps up and pauses the TV, wiping under her eyes and grabbing the third empty bottle. “I’ll get it.”

The door swings open to reveal Jay. “Hailey I-Holy shit, what's wrong?” He asks, taking in her appearance. He places his hands on her shoulders, searching for any sign of injury.

Hailey shakes her head and sniffles, “Nothing. Just a really sad movie.” She says, dragging out the y. “What are you doing here?” Hailey asks, looking over his shoulder to see Adam and Kevin standing by a car she doesn’t recognize.

“Um, well. I lost a bet and now I have to do something.” Jay explained, shifting nervously.

Hailey gave him a bored look, “Do what?” Before she could ask again, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, she could taste the alcohol on him and she knew that her nose was probably running, but she didn’t care. As soon as it happens, it’s over and Jay backs away slowly.

“I-I’ll see you tomorrow Hailes.” He says, tripping over her front step in his attempt to look all cool and stoic. Hailey giggles, touching her fingers to her still tingling lips.

As soon as she shuts the door she turns back to Vanessa and Kim who were most definitely watching them from the couch. Hailey grins and all three girls begin to scream, jumping up and down together in her kitchen. Out of breath, Hailey talks over the excitement, “Okay, I’m done with this depressing movie. We’re watching Say Yes to the Dress.”

H - Halloween

Jay sat on a barstool at Molly’s, it was packed with first responders, all of them dressed in various costumes. It was October 31st and Jay was dressed as a baseball player, against his will he might add, Adam and Kevin had convinced him to do a group costume. Kevin was a football player and Adam was wearing a way too detailed hockey uniform.

He was one beer down and waiting for a certain blonde to have any more, when Hailey was around he had to pace himself. The ringing of the bell above the door captured Jay’s attention, when he saw who walked in, his jaw dropped to the floor. It was Kim, Vanessa and Hailey, but he missed the first two girls completely. All he could see was Hailey.

She was wearing a tight, black skirt and a long sleeve, black crop top. Her blonde hair was falling over her shoulders in perfect waves and Jay was pretty sure there was glitter on her face, something that he never thought he would see. He fought hard to keep his eyes in a strictly professional place, but they wandered down her frame and were glued to the thigh holster on her right leg. Damn. He shifted in his seat, regretting how tight his pants were.

Hailey’s gaze met his and she smiled, immediately making her way to him. “Hey.” She said as she reached the bar.

Jay grinned, choking out a, “Hi.”

Hailey laughed, looking him up and down. “Nice costume.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Jay smirked, causing Hailey to blush.

Hailey felt her cheeks heat up, she looked down at her skimpy skirt and then over to her friends who she was matching, her smile returning. “It was V and Kim’s idea, Charlie’s Angels.” Hailey posed against the bar, then did a quick spin. She was beginning to enjoy the nervous look on her partners face.

Jay swallowed hard as Hailey spun in front of him, she looked drop dead gorgeous and he was very thankful that he had only had one beer. Tipsy Jay would not be able to hold his tongue right now. He looked her up and down once again, this time making it way more obvious. “I like it.”

The next few hours went by impossibly slow, and Jay spent the majority of the time watching Hailey from across the room. He had a few more beers and it was safe to say that his flirt game was strong. He was making Hailey laugh that he never had before and if he had a dollar for everytime she had playfully touched his arm, he could get them a hotel room at the Ritz Carlton for the night.

It was almost midnight when Jay made his way across the crowded bar to where Haily was sitting with Kevin and Vanessa. He stood behind her, earning a few smirks and some wiggling eyebrows from their friends. He placed his hand on her waist and she sucked in a breath. He lowered his lips to her ear, “You wanna get out of here?”

Hailey’s head swung around, nodding before jumping off the barstool, grabbing his hand and practically running out of Molly’s. Jay laughed as they were met with the crisp air, before he could even register what was happening, his back hit the cold brick wall and Hailey’s lips were on his. He grabbed onto her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. Hailey pressed her hands against his chest as she pushed further into him. Jay lowered his hands to rest on her hips “Jump.” He whispered before Hailey obliged. He wasted no time before spinning them around and pinning her to the wall. Jay trailed kisses down her neck, causing Hailey to throw her head against the wall.

The bell rang and Adam came waltzing out along with Kim, the two of them screaming at the sight just outside the bar. “Holy shit guys, get a room.” Kim said, covering her eyes.

Hailey and Jay untangled themselves to face their friends, “Took you long enough Halstead.” Adam winked, before pulling Kim away.

The two laughed before Jay pushed Hailey against the wall once again, smirking. “Where were we?”

I - I’d Follow You

Hailey moved around tirelessly, huffing at yet another failure to break free. “Hailey, breathe.” Jay said from beside her. Hailey rolled her eyes, struggling against the restraints once again. The irony was unreal, the two of them were chained up by their own handcuffs.

“Jay, don’t.” Hailey said, finally giving up and slumping into the cold ground. The two sat in silence for a while, listening for anything to give them a clue of where they were. Hailey thought back to how they even got into this situation. She was following a lead, following her gut more than anything and she had dragged Jay along. Now they were trapped in a basement, perfect. “I’m sorry.” Hailey said softly, they weren’t sure how much danger they were actually in, but if something happened to him, she would never forgive herself.

Jay sighed, smiling softly at his partner, “You have nothing to be sorry for, we’ll be fine. I’m sure the team is already looking for us.”

Hailey nodded, his words doing little to comfort her. She blinked back the tears in her eyes, she had been in this situation with Kim before and it almost ended badly, she couldn’t bear to lose Jay. “I shouldn’t have brought you.” She said.

“Hailey.” He said, wishing he could reach out and touch her. “You know I’d follow you anywhere. Stop blaming yourself.” Jay searched Hailey’s face for any sense of understanding, but she looked just as guilty as she did before.

“I know, we just have to get out of here.” She said, she was still recovering from his earlier statement. He had used her own words against her and she would be lying if she said it wasn’t working.

Jay nodded, “We will.” He stared into her eyes, slowly leaning in. Hailey didn’t know what possessed her, but she met him in the middle and pressed her lips to his. They scooted closer to each other, both very aware that their hands were out of play. Hailey leaned into his chest for balance, deepening the kiss.

Suddenly the door popped open, causing the two to break away from each other, but they stayed touching chests. “You guys good?” Adam called out.

Kevin approached from behind him, shining a flashlight on the two. He smirked, “Yeah, I think they’re good.”

J - Jealous

Jay knew it was irrational, he knew it was stupid. So much had changed but still, the sight of Hailey and Adam made him want to vomit. She was laughing in her loud and beautiful, belly laugh. Hand on his shoulder, hunched over into his bubble. Adam wasn’t much better, he was grinning at her as they continued on in their apparently hilarious conversation.

Jay took an angry sip of his beer, if he held the bottle any tighter it would probably break. He hated feeling like this, after all, he had no claim to Hailey. She was free to do whatever, or whoever, she wanted. Besides, his pouting was a mute point. Hailey had assured him that she and Adam were through, not to mention Kim was pregnant with his baby. He was just being psychotic, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He felt like his brain had transported itself back to the year before, to the night that Adam showed up at Hailey’s and he was so worried that he would think something of it. Really, he should have been worried that he didn’t. It was like the universe was against him and it was using Adam as a weapon.

Hailey looked up from her conversation and noticed a sollem looking Jay across the bar, she bid goodbye to Adam and booked it to her partner. He had moody Jay written all over him. “Hey, what’s up?” She asked, sliding onto the stool next to him.

“Nothing.” He said in a biting tone, glancing at her. He immediately softened when he saw a wave of hurt wash over her face. “I-I’m sorry. I’m just in a mood. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Hailey nodded cautiously, Jay never intentionally hurt her feelings, but even if he did, he wasn’t great at apologies. “You okay?”

He took another swig of his beer, setting it down loudly. “I don’t know.” He said. Jay was pretty shocked at his own words, he was about as open as a bank vault, but tonight he didn’t have the energy to play tough guy. Honestly, he was feeling a little defeated (and sorry for himself).

“You wanna talk? My ‘reserved for Jay’ glass is clean.” She joked, offering him a small smile. They walked out together, Jay opting to ride with Hailey. Which happened once in a blue moon. Hailey fought the urge to check and see if he had a fever, not only was he letting her drive, but he was leaving his truck, his baby, in Molly's parking lot.

The drive was short and the pair raced up Hailey’s steps to escape the winter chill. Vanessa was undercover, so they had the place to themselves. Hailey immediately pulled out a bottle of whiskey, her partner looked like he needed it. She poured them each a glass and then leaned on the counter across from him. Before she can say anything, Jay word vomits across the counter. “Is there something going on between you and Adam?”

Hailey almost chokes on her whiskey. “Jay, are you serious? You know-”

“I need you to say it Hailey.” He says, standing and looking her in the eye. “I need you to say it.”

“There is absolutely nothing going on with me and Ruzek, we are just good friends.” Jay visibly relaxes and his reaction is not lost on Hailey.

Jay moves around the island to her. “I’m sorry,” there he goes again, “That wasn’t my place. It’s just, I don’t want you to be with him. I can’t stand the thought of you ever being with him.”

“Jay-”

“I’m not good at this Hailes, I know. I’m making a complete ass out of myself-” Hailey launches herself forward and cuts him off with a kiss, Jay catching her easily despite the shock. His eyebrows furrow as he runs his hands down her figure, only to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her closer to him. Soon they both come up for air and Jay beams. “I’m better than Ruzek, aren’t I?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hailey smacks his chest before tucking herself into it, “Shut up.”

K - Kiss Me Slowly

Jay stared at Hailey across the patio, it was open mic night at Molly’s and the world had cursed him the guitarist after guitarist playing love song after love song. Of course, every stupid song made him think of her.

The next guy was up and a familiar parachute song started playing, Jay wanted the groan. His heart was racing as he watched Hailey make her way towards him, her blonde hair bouncing as she walked. “Hey stranger.” She said as she approached him.

“Hey.” He smiled.

Hailey motioned to the makeshift stage, “Some of these guys are pretty good.”

“Yeah.”

I can see you there in the city lights.

Jay watched how the glow from the fairy lights hit her face, making her shine brighter than normal.

14th floor, pale blue eyes, I can breathe you in.

He really could, it was like she was her oxygen and he was suffocating without her.

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door, no I could not want you more than I did right then.

He wanted her so bad, in every way possible. “Hailey?”

“Hmm?” She hummed, turning her attention back to him.

“Dance with me.” He said, standing and almost surprising himself. Hailey watched him cautiously, thinking that it was some cruel joke, but took his hand when his stature didn’t falter. He led them to a space near the fence, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her close as she gently rested her arms on his shoulders.

If this is something that you want, darling you don’t have to run. You don’t have to go.

They swayed back and forth, Hailey wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her head to his chest, she could almost swear that his heart was beating faster.

Just stay with me.

She peaked up at him, only to find him smiling down at her.

Baby, stay with me.

They locked eyes, each searching the other for any possible misunderstanding.

Well I’m not sure what this is gonna be, but with my eyes clenched all I see, is the skyline, through the window. The moon above you and the streets below.

Jay reached out and ran the pad of his thumb over Hailey’s cheek, eyes darting all over her seemingly perfect face. She looked absolutely beautiful, she was the only girl he ever noticed.

Hold my breath as we’re moving in.

Hailey swore her heart stopped, the way he was looking at her made her feel like the only girl in the world. He dipped his head and if only she could bring herself to lean in…

Taste your lips and feel your skin.

Hailey placed her hand on his cheek.

When the time comes, baby don’t run.

Jay grinned and slowly leaned down, pressing his lips gently against hers.

Just kiss me slowly.

L - Love

“What were you going to say?”

Hailey stood there frozen, her momentum was lost. Everything that told her to pour her heart out had disappeared and all she wanted to do now was get as far away from him as possible. After all, that was easier, so much easier.

“Never mind, I’m going to pull the car around.” She said.

Jay felt his heart clench, he knew exactly what she was going to say and he felt it too. He was sick of tiptoeing around it. “What were you going to say, Hailey?”

Hailey stopped dead in her tracks, she had barely even made it to the doorway. “It’s not important Jay, really. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” He groans, “Dammit Hailey, you don’t get to make me fall in love with you and then change your mind.”

“What?” Hailey asked quietly, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, and by the look on his face, she wasn’t sure Jay knew what he was saying.

Jay feigned confidence, and maybe the pain meds were to blame, but there was no going back now. “I love you Hailey and I think you love me too, and if you don’t ten you should consider going undercover full time or getting an acting job because you are one hell of an actress-”

Hailey launched herself into his arms, careful not to hit his injured arm. She kissed him urgently, desperate for his touch. Jay held her close with his good arm, never wanting to let go. “I love you too.”

M - My Girlfriend

Jay held the roses tight in his hand as he made his way towards his truck, where his partner was waiting. He thought back to his statement just a few minutes earlier, “my girlfriend.” He wished.

He climbed in the truck and turned to Hailey who smirked at him. He handed her the flowers with a sigh and she grinned. “What a guy.” She teases. Jay chuckled under his breath, freezing when he felt warmth against his cheek, which he soon realized was from Hailey’s lips. Jay tensed, watching her blush in the rear view mirror.

That was the most intimate they had ever been, not that he was complaining. As surprised as he was at her actions, he shouldn’t have been. Hailey was a total badass, a badass with really soft lips. Jay turned to face her, eyes glancing from her lips to her eyes, attempting to read the room (or truck). After being confident that this was what she wanted too, Jay leaned in and captured her lips with his, arching completely over the seat.

Hailey placed her hand on the nape of his neck and played with the short hairs, pulling him even closer. Jay smiled into the kiss, pecking her one last time before pulling away. Hailey scrunched her nose and laughed, “Told you we were good together.”

N -  Never

“Oh, come on Hailey!” Jay snapped, throwing the ping pong paddle on the table.

Hailey through her hands up in the air in surrender. “What?”

“You can’t let me win one game?” He groaned, “You can’t feed my ego even just a little bit?”

“Never.” Hailey smirked, leaning against the table.

Jay swallowed hard, she looked amazing and his self control was dwindling by the minute. Hailey felt the energy shift in the room and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “Shit.” Jay mutters before stalking towards her and kissing her passionately. “Jump.” He whispered, before picking her jump. He turned so that Hailey was sitting on the ping pong table, trailing kisses down her neck. Hailey moaned, wrapping arms around his neck.

“Woah guys, other people play on that table.” Adam yelled from the doorway, putting a hand over his eyes.

Hailey laughed, pulling away and calling after him. “Yeah, but no one else wins!”

“Oh, I definitely just did.” Jay said, smiling down at her.

Hailey shook her head, “Nice try.”

O - Only Us

Jay pushed half the stuff off his desk, and then set Hailey down on it, never removing his lips from hers. Things had gotten heated quick and before he knew it he was unbuttoning Hailey’s dark green flannel and she was tugging at his own shirt. Jay pulled her hair slightly and Hailey gasped, causing him to stick his tongue in her mouth, tem fighting for dominance.

Before she knew it, Hailey’s shirt was somewhere else and her hair was pulled out of it’s normal ponytail. She was about to pull his shirt over his head when a door swung open next to them. Jay quickly pulled Hailey to his chest to cover her and the two were mortified to find Voight standing at the threshold of his door, they thought he had left.

He walked to the desk, dropped two sheets of paper down and then walked out of the bullpen. Hailey looked over her shoulder and saw that they were HR forms.

The two of them laughed hysterically, Hailey leaning her head against Jay’s chest. “Only us.”

P - Pizza

Jay let down the tailgate of the truck and jumped up on it, motioning for Hailey to follow. She did, but not quite as gracefully. Jay smirked at her once she landed next to him. “Short.” Hailey’s only response was smacking his arm and glaring at him.

Jay reached behind him and grabbed a pizza box, it was a pretty night and the two partners had decided that takeout from Bartoli’s and the night sky were the perfect combination. Hailey leaned back on her hands, looking up. “It’s pretty tonight.” She said.

“You know, this is the part in the movies where the guy unloads an unrealistic amount of knowledge about constellations.” Jay said before taking a bite out of a cheesy slice.

Hailey smirked, reaching to grab her own, “I’m listening.”

Jay shook his head as he swallowed. “Oh no, I’ve got nothing.” He said laughing, causing Hailey to roll her eyes.

“Damn, I was ready for you to go all Rom-Com on me.” Hailey took a bite, moaning. “God, this man makes the best pizza in the city. No, the country.”

Jay laughed to cover his choking, he was not ready for Hailey to moan like that, even if it was over pizza. “Y-yeah. The best.”

Hailey eyed her partner, “You good?”

“Great,” Jay said, giving her a genuine smile. He leaned against the side of the bed, just enjoying the view (of the stars, of course…).

They had been there a while, and somehow the two of them ended up sitting across from each other in the bed. Hailey had her leg leaning against Jay’s while they talked. It was anything too important, more just swapping stories and light hearted teasing. It was all very...comfortable.

Jay said something to make Hailey laugh, and he took note of the way her face lit up in the moonlight. He couldn’t look away. “Hailey.” He said, getting her attention.

“Hmm?”

“You look really pretty right now.” Jay said, crossing a line that neither had ever crossed.

Hailey laughed off her shock, attempting to hide her blush. She sat up straighter, “Nice try Halstead, but flattery will get you nowhere. The last slice is mine.” It her hurry to get out of the slightly uncomfortable situation, she tripped over his foot, catching herself on the side of the truck right above him.

Jay’s eyes bored into her as she stood hovered over him. Jay reached up and grabbed her face, bringing it down. The lips crashed together, it was fast and intense and all consuming. Hailey let herself fall into his lap, so that she was straddling him. She rested her hands on the nape of his neck, leaning into him. Jay gripped her thighs, pulling her impossibly closer.

A long while later, Hailey pulled away and whispered against his lips, “I’m still getting the last slice.”

Q - Quarantined...almost?

“Are you serious?”

“Positive.”

“Jay, that’s not funny.” Hailey said into the phone, Jay could almost hear her eye roll. “Just to clarify..your test was negative?”

“Yes Hailey.” He chuckled.

Hailey bit her lip, “Be there in ten.”

“I’ll be waiting.” And with that, the call ended.

Hailey practically ran out of her house, it had been a rough week and she was so excited to see her partner. The past month had been full of catching glances and flirty comments, Hailey felt like they were finally going somewhere, but of course, the shoe dropped. Jay was exposed to someone who tested positive for the virus and he was self quarantining until he got his results back, which after three days, was now.

Hailey had already decided that when she got to see him again, she was jumping him. No more excuses, she was making a move, but she never expected it to be so fast. She had prepared herself for him to be positive, and to not see him for at least two weeks. Let’s be real, that reality sucked.

The elevator ride upwas painfully slow and the controlled brisk walk to his door was even slower. By the time she reached his apartment it felt like time had stopped altogether. She knocked on the door and not five second later it swung open. Hailey took a deep breath and before Jay could even say hello, she kissed him. It was fast and urgent and very, very hot (according to Jay).

“Woah.” He said, smiling wide as the two finally came up for air. “What was that for?”

“Celebrating a negative covid test?”

Jay grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, shutting the door and pushing her up against it. “Looks like I need to get covid tested more often.”

R - Rollercoaster

“We drove all the way to Ohio for an amusement park?” Adam asked as the unit (minus Voight of course) stood in front of the gates of King’s Island.

Kim grinned, “Yes we did, this was one of my favorite places growing up and it is my birthday, so indulge me.”

“Yes ma’am.” Adam scoffed, following her and the rest of the team through security.

Hailey fell in step next to Jay as the two walked behind Vanessa and Kevin, who were trying to decipher the map. She had to admit, Hailey loved amusement parks: the thrill, the food, the extremely overpriced ponchos. She couldn’t hide her smile. “Your chipper today.” Jay said, glancing down at her

Hailey shrugged, “What can I say? I love a good roller coaster.”

“Then let’s go find one.”

About fifteen minutes later, the six of them were standing in line for the Beast, one of the most famous wooden coasters in the United States. “Just warning you guys, this thing beats you up worse than a bar fight.” Kim said as they wandered through the endless maze of turnstalls, finally catching up with all the other people in line.

“Good to know,” Kevin said, swallowing hard.

After waiting for almost an hour, they finally found themselves at the front of the line. Kim was practically jumping up and down as they boarded the train. Jay found himself next to Hailey and behind Vanessa and Kevin, who were behind Adam and Kim. “Excited?” Hailey asked.

Jay nodded, “Very.”

“Hey Ruz, what do I do if I don't fit in the seat?” Kevin asked, showing them all how his shoulders were too broad to fit between the indents.

“Kev, man, shut up.” Adam said and they all laughed as the car started to roll forward and around a sharp bend.

Hailey looked over to Jay as they were climbing the first hill, his face went from happy to not so rather quickly. “Jay, you good?”

Jay looked at Hailey with a panicked look in his eye, “You know how I have an irrational fear of needles?” He asked, breathing harder.

“Yeah…”

“Well add rollercoasters, also known as wooden death traps, to the list.” He rushed out, his grip tight on his lap bar.

Hailey stifled a laugh as they neared the top, “Jay, it’s going to be fine.” She said, placing a calm hand over his shaky one.

“We’re going to die Hailey.” He said and Hailey watching her partners’ face fill with fear as they toppled over the first hill. She grabbed his jaw and brought his lips to hers as their stomached bottomed out, they were both so lost in the moment that they completely missed the flash.

After the ride, they all walked down the twistly exit path and to the booth. Hailey was in the middle of a staring match with Jay when Vanessa screamed, “What the hell?” She pointed at the picture of Jay and Hailey locking lips on the screen.

“Finally!” Adam yelled, giving Kevin a high five.

KIm looked around at her friends, who were now berating their teammates. “You gotta love KIngs Island.”

S - Stakeout

“Truth or dare?” Hailey askes, leaning back in her seat.

Jay rolls his eyes, “What are we, 12?”

Hailey grins, “Yes.” Jay scoffs fidgeting in his seat. “Please. It’s been five hours, I need entertainment.” Jay looks at his exasperated partner, who is now pouting. Normally he would say no, but she looks so damn adorable.

“Fine.”

“Awesome,” She says, shifting her body to face him. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” He says quickly.

Hailey groans, “Lame.” Jay fakes a hurt expression. “Tell me a secret.”

Jay feigns interest, looking through the camera lens at the building they were keeping an eye on. “I’m afraid of needles.

“No shit.” Hailey deadpans. “Fine, I’ll give you another one...ideal first date?”

Jay laughs, “So we’re running with this whole twelve year old thing?”

“Just answer the question!”

“Bartoli’s,” Jay says, staring straight at her. “Some beer, a good ass pizza and a beautiful girl sitting across from me.”

Hailey stops breathing for a second, because for that second, and only that second, she let herself think that he was talking about her. “Cute.” She jokes.

Jay holds up his hands in surrender, “What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic.” Hailey rolls her eyes, “Hey, you asked.”

“It’s your turn.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.” He says, not missing a beat.

Hailey swears her heart jumped out of her chest, “What?”

“I, dare you, to kiss, me.” He says, breaking it down.

“No.”

Jay chuckles nervously, “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean that you have to kiss me.” She smirks confidently and boy does he deliver. Jay wastes no time swooping down and planting one on her. Hailey squeaks, taken by surprise, but recovers quickly. She presses into him, letting her fingers trace his jawline. The two are forced apart by the sound of a car alarm.

Before jumping out of the car Jay winks at her, “I just found a much better way to pass the time.”

T - Truck

Jay pressed his lips to Hailey’s, gently at first, but then with more pressure. He found himself thanking God for her hair being down ( a rare occurrence) so he could tangle his hands in it. Hailey moaned against his mouth, leaning further into him and causing him to tug her over the center console and into his lap.

Hailey straddled him, fitting perfectly in between him and the steering wheel. She settled her hands at the base of his neck, kissing him passionately.

It wasn’t lost on either of them how perfect the moment was and how it was so fitting that their first kiss be in his truck. Their partnership lived in it, they built their incredible friendship in it and now their relationship was starting in it.

It was totally them and it was exactly how it was supposed to be.

U - Undercover

Hailey pulled the skirt of her tight dress down, she didn’t mind going undercover, but she minded anything that left her not wearing pants. Not only that, but she had Jay’s body heat radiating through her. He was standing so close to her that it was distracting. Hailey shifted uncomfortably, she was hot and falling out of her top, and the sexy piece of meat hovering over her was not helping.

Jay felt Hailey’s fidgeting and leaned down. “Hey, you okay?”

Hailey sucked in a breath, “Yeah, all good.” She said, very aware that her partner’s face was just centimeters from her’s. She searched the room, she was on a mission. “Look, there’s Jacobs.” She said, grabbing Jay’s hand and pulling him through the crowded party.

They followed him down a hallway, Jay letting Hailey take the lead. That was, until their suspect looked over his shoulder a few too many times. “I’m sorry.” Jay muttered quietly and before Hailey could even think to respond, she was pushed against the wall and Jay’s lips were on hers.

She melted into immediately, bringing her hands to grip his short hair as his hands ran up and down her figure. Hailey took a deep breath in, reveling in his scent. Jay pushed Hailey further into the wall, slipping his tongue in her mouth as she gasped. They fought for dominance, Jay ultimately winning.

Jay’s hand found her thigh, hitching it over his hip. Things got heated really fast and finally Jay forced himself away from her, “Um, I think he bought it.” Jay said.

Hailey nodded, avoiding his gaze. Both of them were on the verge of laughing. “Definitely.”

V - Very

Jay was sitting next to Hailey on a barstool at Molly’s, taking in the gorgeous view. He couldn’t look away. He was also slightly intoxicated, meaning he was feeling pretty confident.

His relationship with Hailey would have it’s own evolution movie, and he swore something else had changed in the past few weeks. They were flirting, like really flirting and honestly he was done tiptoeing around his feelings for her. Which was a very new feeling, he never liked talking about emotions, especially confessing them.

But right now, looking at her, he wanted to scream them from a rooftop. “Hailey.”

“Hmm?”

“Have I ever told you that I think you are very pretty?” He asked.

Hailey laughed, attempting to hide her blush. “No Jay, you haven’t. But thank you, I think you are very pretty too.”

“No Hailey.” Jay said, reaching out to grab her hand that was resting on the bar. “You are so beautiful. Like out of this world gorgeous and sometimes I look at you and wonder if you are even human, that’s how pretty you are.”

Hailey was speechless, but she was grinning ear to ear, and Jay took that as a good sign. He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, steadying himself on her thigh. Hailey leaned into him, deepening the kiss, but pulling away before it went too far. They were still around all of their colleagues.

Hailey turned her head and whispered in his ear, “I think now is a good time to tell you that you are a very good kisser.”

W - Wedding

Six years after the fact, Adam and Kim were finally getting married. It was safe to say it was one of the most anticipated events of the decade, especially for the men and women of the 21st district.

Hailey stood in the parlor with Kim helping her eat a granola bar, very careful not to drop anything on their dresses. She looked beautiful, the white gown was very Kim. It was fitted at the top with cap sleeves and no back, and the train was so long that it drug feet behind her on the floor.

The wedding planner walked in a few minutes later to announce that they were ready, Hailey looked to Kim, “You ready?”

Kim nodded confidently, beaming. “Let’s do this thing.”

Jay held the door open for Adam and the officiant to walk down the aisle, knowing he would be next. He didn’t hesitate to say yes when Adam asked him to be a groomsmen, he had been in their corner since the beginning, and he felt honored to stand by Adam’s side.

He turned around to find Hailey standing in front of him, in a gorgeous blush pink dress that matched the rest of the girls. Her hair was curled and pinned back, and for the first time ever, Jay could tell she was wearing makeup (honestly, it was strange to see). She approached him slowly, “You look very handsome.” She said.

Jay blushed (manlike, of course), “You-you look amazing.” He sighed out, watching her cheeks turn the shade of her dress.

“Thank you.” She said and then they were ushered into a line. They entered the sanctuary by pair, Kim’s niece Zoe (who was now 16) going first with one of Adam’s cousins. Then Jay and Hailey went, followed by Kevin and Nicole, Kim’s sister. Once everyone was in place, Canon in D major began to play and the doors swung open revealing Kim and her father.

Jay watched Adam smile and then his gaze drifted to Hailey, who was directly across from him. They locked eyes and she smiled at him, causing his heart to go crazy. After that, his eyes never strayed from her for too long.

After minutes of standing and smiling, Adam was finally allowed to kiss his bride. The cheering started and everyone clapped their hands for the happy couple. Kim and Adam ran back down the aisle and the wedding party followed.

When Jay met Hailey in the middle, Jay made a split second decision. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, covering her lips with his. Hailey squeaked in surprise, but let herself melt into him. It was like he read her mind, this was all she could think of during the ceremony, and now she was kissing Jay Halstead.

It would go down as the happiest day of all of their lives.

X - XRay

“Hailey, everything is going to be fine.” Jay said, his hand finding a familiar place on her shoulder. They were sitting in the hospital waiting room, a not so fun place for both of them.

It had been a routine day, until a foot pursuit sent Hailey to the ground. She was only scratched up a bit, which was remarkable considering she was hit by a car. Sure, it was going about five miles per hour, but the sight of her hitting the pavement was enough to send Jay into a frenzy.

They had come in to get checked out, even though Hailey insisted she was fine. And she was, almost. Will examined her and cleared her for any on duty injury, but near the end he noticed that her thyroid was swollen and after further exploration he found there was a tiny lump. Hailey then sheepishly confessed that she had been having some pain and Will excused himself.

It was a hard call to make, the line between playing it safe and overreacting. However, there was doubt about it that Will had to make Hailey face the facts, for her and his brother’s sake.

Returning to the room a few minutes later, Will sat down in front of Hailey and explained what he was seeing. “I hate to say this Hailey, but the lump on your thyroid is alarming. You are past the age of normal diagnosis, but I’ve seen it several times later in life-”

“Diagnosis of what?” Hailey snapped, cutting him off.

Will sighed, “Thyroid cancer.”

So, here the two partners were about two hours later. After explaining the situation there had been a lot of tears and paperwork, and now they were waiting for Hailey’s appointment for an X-Ray and possible MRI.

Hailey was terrified, there was no history of cancer in her family, but she knew enough to know that thyroid cancer was common and deadly. She wasn’t ready to die, she wasn’t ready to stop living her life the way she was. She wasn’t ready to give up on being a wife, or a mom, or even a grandma. She had so much left she wanted to do.

The tears started again and Jay wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders and pulled her lean against him. “I don’t want to die, Jay.”

Jay stiffened, hugging her tighter. “You aren’t going to die.”

“I might.”

“No.” Jay said, turning to face her. “You will beat this, whatever it is. You are too stubborn to go down without a massive fight.” He reached and brushed his thumb across his cheek, “And we will fight whatever this is together.”

His eyes locked with hers, and he leant in, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. Hailey let herself linger there for a moment before pulling away and whispering against his lips. “Together.”

Y - Yes

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, Jay.” Hailey said, laughing.

“Yes, you will go on a date with me?”

Hailey rolled her eyes, “What else would yes mean?”

Jay shrugged, “I don’t know, you could have meant it sarcastically or maybe it’s opposite day-”

Hailey cut him off by kissing him gently, when she pulled away she grinned at the sight in front of her. Jay’s eyes still closed and his eyebrows furrowed, he was so freaking cute. “How’s that for a yes?”

Jay smirked, “I don’t know, I think we are going to have to try again.”

Hailey was beaming right along with him. “Yes…”

Z - Zzzzzzz

Jay was out like a light on the break room couch, and Hailey smiled to herself as she laid the crappy blanket they kept in the locker room over him. It was just them left and as much as she wanted to leave, she couldn’t bring herself to leave him there alone or wake him up. He looked so peaceful, which was rare.

Hailey’s eyes wandered over his face, he was so attractive. Probably the most beautiful man she had ever met or even seen. And he was so kind, and determined and passionate. Sometimes she wondered how he was even real, or how she got so lucky as to be his partner. “I love you.” She whispered, sighing out. It was nice to say it outloud, even if he was unconscious.

She walked slowly towards him, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, she took one more glance and then made her way towards the door.

However she didn’t get very far before a hand grabbed her wrist, spinning her around. It was Jay, almost like he was back from the dead and he was grinning like a fool. Hailey felt her heart stop in her chest, he had sacred the shit out of her. “Say it again.”

Jay had woken up when she put the blanket on him, he was a really light sleeper, but he had decided to stay “asleep” so she wouldn’t feel guilty. He was so glad he did.

“What?” Hailey asked, breathing heavy. Her hands began to shake and it felt like his next words were a million miles away.

He looked her dead in the eye, “Say it again.”

“I love you.” She breathed out.

Jay wasted no time closing the gap between them and pushing her against the doorframe. He connected their lips and cupped her face in his hands. Hailey gripped the wall for support, her head was spinning and her knees felt weak. When Jay finally pulled away, they were both smiling even bigger than before. “I love you too.”

…

A/N: Wow! I haven’t posted in so long. I’m so sorry, life is crazy right now and I am just trying to get back in the groove. I am so excited to finally post this, I’ve been working on it for s while. Which were your favorite? Thanks for reading! <3

[kazoo5480]

Ruby quietly moved Emma’s bug into the garage behind Grannys, out of sight. M’s held Emma while she sobbed into her friend’s lap, and M’s stroked her hair, comforting her.

Ruby texted August quickly, letting him know they had it handled but not to tell Killian where Emma was laying low until they helped her figure it out.

August texted back, “Did he cheat on her?

Ruby: No, a shitty misunderstanding but M’s and I witnessed the entire thing

August: Is she ok?

Ruby: Would you be if you thought your boyfriend cheated on you in a bar full of people when you catch a flight home to surprise him?

August: He better fix this with her, don’t let her run. Understood?

Ruby: Yeah, TTYL

Killian called August and was sent straight to voicemail. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” He screamed sinking to his knees. His phone vibrated.

August: She is safe, but I told you man, let her go if you don’t want her. Don’t make me come there, Jones.

Killian: Did she call? I swear it wasn’t what it looked like

August. I know. She is safe, that’s all I can say.

Killian: Wait who called you? Ruby?

He got no response. He just tore his clothes off and showered, climbing into their bed holding her pillow as he thought over how the fuck he was going to fix this, Emma would probably never forgive him. The thought of that was so painful, it was almost unbearable.

He scrubbed his hands over his eyes, wiping the leaking tears, fucking Milah. Always fucking up everything, leaving people shattered in her wake like the bloody plague.

Anger bubbled up in his chest, and he put on clean clothes, going to sit in the shop and smoke, he stayed there all night, until the dawn shown through the garage glass, and his pack lay empty on the desk.

Killian hung the closed sign on the door of the shop and went upstairs to clean himself up. If he was going to find her, he needed to not look like absolute rubbish.

Emma woke up sandwiched between Ruby and M’s in her old bed at Granny’s, her eyes feeling swollen, her throat raw. Emma crept out of bed, and into the bathroom, and brushed her teeth, washing her face.

She was grateful for her friends, she had never had that kind of an experience without August, but she knew Ruby was right. Killian didn’t cheat on her, and she did get some satisfaction that the woman she punched was Milah. But it didn’t mean she was ready to face Killian yet, or anytime today.

She left her phone off, and booted her laptop up, emailing her boss that she caught a bug on the plane, needing a day off.

Ruby sat up, “Em, you ok honey?” she asked.

Emma shook her head, and Ruby beckoned her back to the bed. Emma laid back down and both women held her while she fell back asleep.

Ruby tip-toed out of the room locking it, and M’s said she wouldn’t open today, that she would stay with Emma and help her figure out the plan. But Ruby couldn’t go missing, she had to buy Emma a little time.

She made her way downstairs freshened up and found Killian sitting at the counter. Ruby didn’t acknowledge him, just slid him a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter.

“You look like shit dickhead” she said.

Killian looked up at her, and Ruby almost broke then and there. He looked awful, up all night she would guess, crying too.

“Where is she?” he asked in a clipped tone.

“I don’t know Jones” Ruby lied.

“Ruby, where the fuck is she!” he banged his fist on the counter, the coffee sloshing out of the cup.

“Damnit Jones, stop. I don’t know” she said.

“You called August?” He asked her.

Ruby nodded, “a text.”

“You saw everything, you know I didn’t, couldn’t cheat, I wouldn’t ever cheat on her,” he said sounding defeated.

Ruby leaned forward, “I saw, and yeah I know. But she didn’t, I told her, but give her some time Jones” and patted his hand.

“If I find out you are hiding her Red, so help me god” he growled out.

Ruby leaned in, “I will beat your ass in heels any day of the week Jonesy. Don’t push me on this,” she said lethally.

Killian sat up, pounded the coffee, and stood.

“Where are you going?” Ruby asked him.

“To fucking find her,” he said.

Ruby waited until the door shut, and let out a breath of relief. Emma tip-toed down the back steps, and M’s whistled for Red.

“Clear” Ruby called out.

Emma came in, and Ruby was wiping the coffee off the counter.

“Em he is going to find you, if you are leaving, you’ve got to do it now while he is out looking for you. Or I can go grab your stuff, just tell me what to do here” M’s said.

Emma shook her head, “I don’t know. I just need some clothes, I can sneak in but I need you to keep a lookout for me” she said, and M’s nodded.

“Go through the alley, he won’t be looking in the alley. Climb up the fire escape outside your bedroom” Ruby said, and Emma eyed her.

“Why do you know all this?” Emma asked.

“I slept with Liam a few times, Jones doesn’t know,” Ruby said sadly.

Emma’s eyes widened. “Go!” Ruby said.

Emma and M’s slipped out the back door and sure enough, she was able to get in, their bedroom window unlocked. M’s stood hidden watching. Emma slipped in, her pillow balled up, the loft reeking of smoke, and her heart broke.

She grabbed a small duffle and threw only necessities in, she could buy new stuff. She had her laptop and charger, and anything else she would need for a few days, but grabbed her shampoo and conditioner, her running gear, and scribbled a note leaving it on her pillow.

“I’m not ready to talk. - E”

She slipped out the window and down to M’s hiding spot as they made their way through the alleyways back to her room.

M’s headed to the boutique and Killian was perched against the front door. She gulped and eyed him.

“Killian please move,” she asked.

“Funny, you didn’t listen to me begging you last night to get out of the way, to go after her,” he said.

“Where is she M’s? Just tell me, is she ok?” he pleaded.

M’s lied, for like the third time in her life. “We caught her last night, we told her the truth, and she said she needed time. She came out of your loft, and drove off” she said quietly.

Killian leaned over the glass of the counter, “M’s where is she?” he gripped her arms gently and asked again.

“Killian seriously, leave her be. She will come back when she is ready, but a thank you for telling her the truth would be appreciated” she snapped and pulled her arms from his grip.

Killian eyed her. “You two know where she is. Don’t you?” he asked.

“Killian, I do not know where Emma is right now,” she said, not lying but not telling the truth. Emma could be anywhere right now, she thought.

Killian nodded at her. “Just tell her I love her, to come home, that it wasn’t what she thought. But just tell her I love her, I need her M’s” he said and M’s nearly cried but steeled herself nodding.

“I will,” she said and he walked out the door.

Killian walked to the garage and headed up to grab his car keys off the dresser. He saw the note and smelled Emma’s perfume.

“Swan!” He yelled out, but he was alone, again.

He dialed August and went straight to voicemail. He called Scott, and he heard his voice come through in a low tone.

“Scott, please” Killian begged.

“She isn’t here, I am not supposed to be talking to you, Killian. But all I know is that Red told Auggie last night she was safe. If she shows up, I will tell you, but she isn’t here” Scott said grimly.

“Did August tell you not to talk to me? Why isn’t he?” Killian asked.

“I don’t know man, he just said we had to let Em have a say,” he said.

“Have a say? In what? Leaving me? Killian asked desperately.

“I don’t know Killian, honestly. I know you didn’t invite what happened, I know that. So does August, but he will choose her, and if Emma needs time, he said he would never push her, she has been hurt too many times, and he wouldn’t risk her pushing him away” Scott said.

“You’ll text me if she comes there?” He asked.

“I will, but I will not admit that I helped you to Auggie if Emma doesn’t want to see you, man. I have to protect her and you too, that’s what family does. We cant break trust” he said.

Killian nodded, “Thanks Scott” and hung up.

He looked at her note. He heard the door buzz, and he ran down to the front door.

“Milah, what the fuck are you doing here?” he said glaring at her.

“Who was the blonde Jonesy? Hmm? Your new piece of tail? I want her fucking name” Milah shouted.

Killian dialed Graham. “Get here to the lot now, I have a trespasser,” he said hanging up.

Milah’s eyes went wide, “You have to be fucking kidding me. I fucking lived here” she shouted and slapped him.

“You never lived here, you left a fucking toothbrush, and you are a fucking cesspool of rubbish, tearing people’s lives apart” he spits out.

Graham flew through the gates in the cruiser and got out. Eyes wide, he looked between the two of them.

“He hit me!” Milah yelled pointing at Killian who rolled his eyes.

Graham looked at Killian, and Killian shook his head.

“That never happened, and the person who did hit you has already left town, no trace of her” Graham said to Milah, and Killian’s eyes widened at that.

“You can leave, or I can arrest you and process you for trespassing. Your choice Milah” Graham said.

“Fuck you both!” Milah said storming off the lot, letting the gate clatter shut.

"Have you seen Emma?" Killian asked him desperately.

Graham shook his head, his mouth in a grim line. "No, I just want that pile of trash out of town. I don't even want her knowing Emma's name" Graham said and pulled Killian in for a hug.

"She'll come back Jonesy. She is just as crazy about you, as you are her," he whispered, and Killian nodded.

Graham took off, saying he was following Milah, making sure she left town. Killian nodded in thanks, and he saw a flash of blonde hair and took off running.

He saw the woman enter the diner and ran as fast as he could calling her name. Everyone including the woman turned to look at him as he barged in yelling her name, and it was a woman much older than Emma, and Ruby rolled her eyes.

“Granny watch the counter” and she walked out, grabbing Killian by his arm and dragging him back home. She pulled the gate shut between them. “You’re on house arrest until you get your shit together jones,” Ruby said and walked away.

Ruby went in the back way and knocked on the door in the code they agreed to, Emma opening it quickly. Ruby crept in and locked it behind her.

“He is losing his fucking mind Em, you gotta talk to him tomorrow. Scared our neighbor Ingrid, chasing her into the diner calling your name. The guy is hallucinating, literally losing his mind” Ruby said.

Emma looked down, “I know, I know. I will go tomorrow, ok? I need one more night, I need space, to clear my head,” she said.

Ruby nodded. “Milah showed up at the shop today,” she said, and Emma looked up at her in surprise.

“Killian called Graham, Graham gave her the choice of being arrested for trespassing or to leave town. She also cracked Killian hard enough to leave a handprint on his face” she said.

Emma sat down, her hands over her eyes. Why was she torturing him, he didn’t do anything wrong, Emma knew this. She trusted him, even after this. But what if she was wrong, she had been wrong before.  Ruby locked the door behind her after she dropped that bomb. She needed August.

“Hey, sunshine,” he said.

“Hi,” she said numbly.

“Facetime call?” he asked her.

“No. I just need to know what to do here Aug” she said.

“Do you believe him?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said.

“Then why aren’t you home in your bed, having him prove to you how devoted he is to only you?” He asked her.

“I needed space, I mean I have been wrong before…” she said quietly.

“And you are wrong now. Tell you what, pop a zzzquil, get some actual fucking sleep, shower, shave, and go home. Let him apologize, be an adult, and let that man worship you the way he always does” he said.

“You haven’t spoken to him?” she asked surprised.

“Nope. Scott did, but briefly. He is mainly worried you left town, and he won’t know how to track you except through me. Red isn’t giving you up, surprisingly Mary Margaret didn’t crack, and you are a ghost. He has no idea where you are, imagine if you were in his shoes Em” he said.

“I’m going to bed,” she said.

“Night. Love you” he said hanging up.

Emma snuggled into the blankets, as the rain began pelting the windows. She naturally reached out for him, but he wasn’t there. When the first crack of lightning hit she texted him. She wanted to go home.

Killian was going crazy, he tried her phone again, and it rang, and went to voicemail. He opened the google maps app, and her location sharing had been turned off to him. He went upstairs to the loft and pulled out a bottle of rum, sitting on the couch. He turned on the princess Bride and proceeded to drink half of the bottle.

He woke up sometime in the middle of the night, thunder clapping outside, and waking him. Emma hated storms, hated thunderstorms when she was alone, he blinked a few times trying to focus his eyes and grabbed his phone.

“We can talk tomorrow. I love you. E.” It was an hour ago.

Killian sat up, he was still half drunk. She loved him. She was coming back, fuck. She had to be close by. He got himself in the shower and cleaned himself up, chugging a mug of coffee down. He brushed his teeth and cleaned the whole apartment. The lightning ripped through the sky.

Emma laid awake, every clap of thunder and flash of lightning set her teeth on edge. She wanted to be safe, to go home. She looked outside, she was going to make a run for it.

She threw on a pair of leggings, and her tennis shoes, she didn’t have a coat but peeked outside, the next flash bright enough to light the whole street up. She had to run fast. When the thunder subsided to a rumble, she ran out into the pouring rain, running hard towards home, toward him.

Killian watched the sky. It was nearly purple, and the lightning flashes, set the whole loft alight, it was the worst storm they had roll through in ages. He hoped wherever Emma was, that she was ok. He knew she had to be fucking terrified on a night like this.

Killian heard the gate whip open out front, clattering against the fence with enough force to snap it. He ran to the window. She was there, she was trying to get home, he flew down the steps and threw the shop door open. The lightning clapped, thunder rumbling, and he ran toward her stopping a few feet from her.

“Emma” he called out, and the sky lit up again, thunder booming.

She stared at him for a moment, eyes rimmed red, and ran into his arms. He picked her up, her legs locking around his waist, and he ran inside, slamming the door shut with his foot, bringing her upstairs.

She was trembling against him, he buried his face in her neck, her long wet curls drenched, and dripping puddles on the floor. He walked them to their room, sitting on the edge of the bed, and began to cry.

Emma was crying too, every clap of thunder causing her to tremble harder. Killian just sat there holding her, wrapped in each other as they cried.

She came home. He leaned back, cupping her face, and rested his forehead against hers, “I'm so sorry Emma” he said, tears still running down his cheeks, their hair dripping down their faces, each of them soaked to the bone.

He smoothed her hair back, her arms and skin felt like ice. “We have to get you warmed up, he said setting her down and rushing to turn the shower on. He took his clothes off, and he helped peel her out of hers, dropping them wetly to the floor, her lithe body trembling.

He picked her up and carried her into the shower, and stood with her under the hot spray, warming her up, his arms wrapped around her as she shivered.

“What do you think you were doing?” he whispered, keeping his face buried in her neck. “You could have been hurt,” he said, tilting her chin up.

“I was going to wa-wait. And the storm started. I texted you b-but you didn't respond, and the storm got really bad, I wanted you, I wanted to be home” she said her teeth chattering, and he gripped her tighter, rubbing her back, letting the warm water heat her through.

“You could have been hurt, gods. You can't do that Swan, you can't go out in bloody mayhem, you could have called me, I would have come wherever you were to get you, just never do that to me again. You could have died” he said and her thin arms wrapped around his waist hugging him tightly.

“I'm sorry, I know. I know what happened, I knew you would never, I just didn't know what to do. I got scared, I wasn't trying to punish you, I just needed time. I was going to come back earlier when I heard you chased the new lady in town, and August said you were going out of your mind, and I wasn't trying to make you that way. I swear, I just needed a breath, to make sure I wasn't wrong. I am sorry” she said.

Killian shook his head, “She means nothing, she came at me, and then you were there. I thought she had stolen another piece of my life. Ruby and M’s wouldn't let me near you, August hasn't spoken to me, Scott said you were ok, but I didn't know where you were. You disappeared on me, and I didn��t know what to do, I was going insane” he said, sounding desperate and broken.

Emma surged forward, her lips chasing his and he sighed pulling her closer, gripping on to her tightly. Killian ran his hands over every expanse of skin he could reach, kissing up the column of her throat as she moaned his name.

He picked her up, and her skin smacked against the tile wall. Killian angled his hips, Emma steadying herself on his shoulders. He let her slide back down the tile, and he guided himself inside of her. Emma whimpered at his entrance, gasping as he seated himself fully within her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her nails digging into his skin. Killian hissed as her nails dug in, and bruised her lips in a punishing kiss, the thrusts wild, and hard. It felt like he was trying to place himself so deep inside of her that they would never separate.

Emma let her tears fall, whimpering as he thrust into her repeatedly, her ankles locked around his waist, the tile backsplash her only support as he punished her with all the love he had inside of him.

Emma sobbed through it, through the pain of feeling unwanted, of feeling like the one thing she had come to trust wasn't true at all, the pain she caused both of them from her fears and insecurities, for it all. As he pounded into her relentlessly, it felt like all of the hurt, and pain she had been warring with the last few days slipped away.

Killian was at war with himself, he was being rough with her, he could feel her trembling around him, her nails scoring his skin, the sobs wracking her chest as he tried to fuck away her pain, his pain, their pain.

He moved swiftly, sitting on the bench of their shower, and with her balanced on his thighs, he leaned back cupping her jaw, attacking her mouth, leaving marks all over her porcelain skin. He was never letting go of her now that she was home.

He gripped her hip in one hand, leaving his mouth fused to hers, swallowing her cries, tasting her tears, and his, and he rocked her back and forth. He was pushing them both closer to release with each thrust until he felt her clench around him.

He felt her nails digging deeper into his shoulders, and when he heard her cry his name, he let go, letting her drag him over the edge with her into a blinding abyss.

They sat there in their embrace until the water ran cold, and the steam was long gone. Their tears subsided and he couldn't stop kissing her. He kissed her as the lightning raged outside, and the power went out blanketing them in darkness. He kissed her as she trembled in fear of the storm, and gripped him tighter against her.

Emma shivered in his arms, and he lifted her off him slowly, missing the heat of her already. He grabbed a washcloth and wiped them both off, and wrapped her in a towel, helping her out into the dark bathroom.

Emma toweled off quickly and squinted in the dark, navigating their room to crawl in their bed. Killian crawled in beside her, his front to her back, and gripped her possessively. Emma felt him still hard, rutting against her, and she didn't know if she could take any more.

“Killian I can't'' Emma protested softly, and he kissed her neck with so much gentleness she couldn't deny that she craved the closeness of him too.

“I know. I just want to be inside you Emma” he murmured, and Emma understood because she felt the same way. She arched, giving him access, and he gently pushed through her swollen folds. She moaned softly at the intrusion.  

Killian groaned, and wrapped her tightly against his chest, cupping her breast and his hand possessively holding her stomach against him, just wanting to feel the warmth of her surrounding him after feeling so lost. He smoothed her curls out until he felt her breaths even out, and he fell asleep.

When daylight peeked in through the curtains, she realized they had shifted at some point, no longer connected. The alarm clock on their dresser blinked, power was back on. She rolled over, taking in Killian’s unshaven face, his long black lashes fanned over his cheeks, sound asleep.

She quietly went to the bathroom, turning the shower on, letting the water heat up, and went to stand beneath the spray, scrubbing herself clean, and unknotting her curls. She heard the door open and she watched Killian enter the shower.

His blue eyes had circles beneath them, and she kissed him as he stepped into her, wrapping his arms around her. Emma reached up, grabbing the showerhead from its cradle, and held it over him, warming him up.

“I love you,” he said against her neck, and she nodded.

“I know, I am sorry. I love you too” she whispered, her throat feeling hoarse, and pressed her lips to his quickly.

He leaned back and his eyes locked on hers, “You did nothing wrong, and though I didn't either, I never want to experience this kind of pain again Emma, I can't. I don't think I can handle losing you” he said, gauging her reaction.

Emma stepped back sitting on the bench giving him the space to shower, but not wanting to leave. Killian cleaned himself up, trimming his beard and brushing his teeth.

Emma just watched quietly, not knowing what else to say. She got out, and grabbed clean towels, laying one on the sink for him as she wrapped herself in her robe and brushed her hair.

She headed to the window at the front of the loft and looked down. She could see a few fallen trees, and Killian came up behind her, dressed in sweats and a soft tee. “We should talk,” she said, not turning to face him and he sighed, nodding against her shoulder.

He went to grab them a cup of coffee, and brought it to her, sitting beneath the soft throw blanket with her. He was anxious and exhausted, but he wasn't going to lose her, he wouldn't allow it.

“I went to the bar as I told you I was. Ruby, Graham, M’s, and Dave were there, everything was fine, and I went to the bathroom. When I came out, she was there waiting for me. I asked her what she could possibly want from me, and she said a roll in the sack” he laughed almost in disbelief.

“I said some not so kind words, but ultimately no. I didn't even need to mention you, because whether you were here in my life or not, I still would have said no. She caught me off guard with the kiss, and I heard you drop your bag, when I looked over and saw you, the pain all over your face, my heart broke. I wanted to hurt Milah for hurting you, for putting me in a position to even shake your trust slightly in me. But you beat me to it when you socked her, and your henchmen blocked my exit after you ran out” he finished.

Emma swallowed the coffee and nodded. “Ruby told me most all of that, M’s too. But it still hurt, god it hurt so bad. I trust you, please don't doubt that. What I did not trust was myself, and if I was willing to risk hurting myself by allowing you that much power over me, my happiness, my heart. That is why I left. I knew you didn't do anything wrong, or encourage her” she said quietly.

“So the self-imposed exile, driving me insane with worry, was because you were protecting yourself from me?” he said, sounding hurt.

Emma nodded. “I have never let my happiness be so wrapped up in one person, I never had that. I have had boyfriends, and lovers, but never have I let someone actually own my heart, to have that kind of power to destroy me entirely” she whispered avoiding his gaze that was burning on the side of her face.

Killian swallowed, absorbing her words. “But you are choosing us?” he asked bluntly.

Emma looked at him, her green eyes dim, and nodded.

A wave of relief swept through him, and he set their mugs down on the coffee table. “I choose you Emma, every day, every single thing I do, since the moment I laid eyes on you. I have chosen you, only you. You are everything to me, my love, my best friend, my whole heart. I choose you” he said and waited.

Emma’s eyes filled with tears as she looked at him, “I know. I just never had anyone choose me before, and I had to deal with that Killian, I had to deal with someone wanting me, choosing me, loving me entirely. It is fucking terrifying. I wanted to tell you something before this happened, I made a decision in New York, and I flew back to tell you before all of this happened” she said.

Killian rested his arm over the back of the couch, and looked at her, fighting to curl into herself and instead choosing to face him.

“I don’t want to do my job anymore, I don’t want to be apart anymore,” she said.

Killian’s eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t want to work?” he asked confused.

Emma sighed, “I don't want a job where I can get hurt, or have to travel at a moment's notice whether it be a day or for a week unexpectedly, I don't want it anymore. Every time I leave, the look on your face kills me, it breaks me to leave you every time I walk out the door not knowing if it was for a few hours, or a few days. I know it hurt you, and I don't want it anymore” she said, looking down at the blanket she was twisting in her hands.

Killian ran his hand over her hair, twirling an errant curl. “Emma, that is ok love. You don't have to do that anymore, I don't care. Don't work at all, or work with me, or do something on your own from here, consulting, or what August does. I know you can do whatever you want. But we don't need the bloody money, I just need you to be happy” he said.

Emma nodded, and curled into his lap, her head resting on his legs. “Where did you go?” he asked her softly.

Emma bit her lip, “Granny’s” she said.

“Bloody Ruby, I would have torn the building apart brick by brick if I had known,” he said harshly.

“Don't be mad at her, she was trying to do what was right for me, to protect me, to slow me down, and buy you time while I figured it out” she protested.

Killian grumbled, “and she got M’s to lie too? The woman hasn't held a secret in her whole life, and I show up and lean on her, trying to force it out of her and she doesn't crack at all,” he said, sounding surprised.

Emma laughed, “M’s was my lookout when I broke into the loft to get some stuff and left the note,” Emma said biting her lip.

“Oh, so now she is a liar, and encouraging breaking and entering?” he said, sounding amused.

Emma nodded and rolled to her back looking up at him. “They were trying to help me, protect me, protect you. I’m sorry” she said.

“Are we going to be able to move past this?” he asked her. Emma nodded and gave him a small smile.

“Does this mean you are going to take Graham up on his offer?” he asked and Emma shook her head. “I don’t think so, I don’t know. Maybe until I figure out what I want to do, and I don't know right now. But I have money, and I know you do, and that I have time to figure it all out, don't I?” she asked, almost nervous at what his response would be.

“Emma I told you, don't work, work from home, be a deputy, I don't bloody care, as long as I go to sleep with you, and wake up next to you. Having you within my sight at all times is just a possessive bonus, but I won't ever give you up, I am never giving you back” he said and tucked her hair back.

Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she turned in his lap, crumpling, as the words cracked her apart. Killian slid out from underneath her, and laid behind her, spooning her, and dragged the blanket over them. He held her while she cried, and he soothed her until she fell asleep in his arms.

Killian laid there, holding her, he should just ask her. Make her know this was permanent, but with a fucking ring he couldn't do that. How was he going to make her feel secure enough that he would never leave her? He wracked his brain, and nothing came. He finally conceded to the idea, he would just have to show her every bloody day and never stop.

When Emma woke up she was too warm. Her robe tucked around her, and Killian’s body heat radiating against her back. He was snoring lightly and she hated to wake him but she felt like her skin was on fire. She slipped out the end of the couch, and he didn’t seem to wake up. She quickly dressed and drank a glass of water.

Deciding to sit in her chair and read until he woke up. She didn’t read for long before he stirred on the couch, his eyes blinking open alarmed that she wasn’t still in his arms. He sat up and saw her, and she heard his sigh of relief.

“Hi,” she said.

He nodded at her, wiping at his eyes waking up.

“Want to walk over to Grannys and get my stuff?” she asked him, and he smirked at her.

“Absolutely.”

@sailtoafarawayland​ @omgmarvelous​

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[amberlynnmurdock]

Library Series (Pt. 15)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader 

Chapter Summary: Thanksgiving is next week. 

AO3 Link

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hey all! I am still working on this story no matter how long it takes me and no matter who sticks til the end. To those of you who have just discovered it or those who are still reading, thank you so much. This chapter sets up the next one and it’s super fluffy. I hope you all have been doing well, staying safe and healthy during this crazy time we live in. In the meantime, enjoy some Matt Murdock college fluff. And message me if you have... anything to say! About your life, Marvel, anything. I’d love to catch up again. OKAY ENJOY <3 

Wet fog. It sticks to the dorm window. Glancing at the clock, you see that it’s barely seven in the evening. You wipe the window with the sleeve of your pajama shirt to see outside.

There’s not much going on. It’s a week before Thanksgiving, and everyone on campus was just finishing up exams. Many have already went home for the holiday. Marci left two days ago with Foggy. Which left your dorm room all to yourself, and… Matthew.

Ever since that night outside the cafe, he’s been spending time with you a lot, which you had no problem with. You’d finish your late class on Thursday and see him waiting for you patiently at the end of the hall, cane in hand, leaning against the cement wall. The two of you had lunch together every Tuesday because that’s the only time the two of you don’t have a class at noon. You walk him home, and you text him when you get back to your dorm.

Right now, he’s here again. There’s a record spinning at a low volume, and you’ve lost track of what it was you and Matt were listening to. You laid down after dinner and got sleepy, and let Matt take over flipping the discs, raiding your collection. You knew he couldn’t see what he was picking, but he always managed to play some of your favorites.

You slump down from your dorm bed and join him on the fuzzy carpet, leaning against the side of your bed. Your arm brushes his and you feel the urge to bring him into an embrace. But you don’t.

It dawned on you that tomorrow, you’d be leaving for Thanksgiving break yourself. You were excited: you hadn’t seen your family in weeks and the cafeteria food was starting to get old. A home-cooked meal was exactly what you needed. But at the same time, you felt like you were going to be missing something, and it was painfully obvious what it was. In fact, the reason why is sitting next to you right now, behind red tint glasses and an aloof grin on his face.

“I love this song,” Matt smiles as he stretches his arms. It’s a song by Big Star. You don’t reply. You smile instead.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks you after a short period of silence. You forget he can’t see your smile sometimes. A guilty feeling wells in your chest.

As if he can hear your thoughts, Matt finds your hand and holds it.

“Yeah, I am,” you say uneasily. “Are you going home for Thanksgiving? I forgot to ask.”

Matt replies after a moment, “No. I’m not.”

You quirk an eyebrow. You realize you never asked Matt about his…family. You know his father passed away, and he’s never mentioned his mother. You didn’t feel like now was the right time. You decide to play the fool.

“Do you usually go anywhere?” You ask him carefully.

“I usually go with Foggy every year, but this time he is at Marci’s. It’s okay, though,” Matt gives a small smile, “I told him it was okay after he denied to a hundred times.”

You sort of felt silly in that moment. Why didn’t you bother to ask Matt if he’d like to join your family on Thanksgiving? You honestly assumed he had somewhere to go–but now you think you know why it was never brought up. Matt probably didn’t want you to feel bad. You notice he has a tendency to do that–hide how he really feels.

“Well, you are welcome to come to my Thanksgiving. If you want!” You nervously add the last part in. You suddenly felt embarrassed. Were you moving too fast? Were things getting serious? Were you okay with that? More importantly, was he okay with that?

“Uhm, yeah,” Matt answers you sheepishly. For some reason, the nerves make him let go of your hand. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go, he’s dying to have a little getaway with you, and get to know you even more. Matt is just… really happy you asked.

"I leave tomorrow, and it’s last minute, but I’d really love for you to be there with me. You’ll get to meet my family, if that’s not scary,” you ramble on. The rush inside you can’t be stopped: the thought of having Matt all to yourself for a few days sounded magical. “And my family isn’t big, if big families intimidate you. It’s just my folks and I.”

“Big families?” Matt laughs, “I’ve been to Foggy’s for the holidays for a while now, and I’m still sure there’s a distant cousin I haven’t met before. I think I’m ready with just having to introduce myself only twice now.”

“Okay!” You turn to face him, this time taking his hand back in yours. “I’ll text my Mom now to let her know we’ll need another plate at the table. You can stay in our guest room. Or mine, and I’ll take the guest room. Whichever you’re most comfortable with.”

Matt could hear the excitement in your voice. “We can figure that out later,” he says. “We can share, you know,” Matt reminds you in a low whisper.

You feel the heat rise in your cheeks. You let out a soft laugh and gently push him in a joking way, “no way am I getting in bed with you, Mr. Murdock. I am too much of a blanket hog. You’ll be cold the entire weekend.”

Matt lets out a laugh. He pulls you in close and kisses your ear.

“We’ll see about that.”

The shivers his kiss sent down your spine are hard to hide. You don’t care. You sigh and rest your head on his shoulder.

Matt quietly says your name.

Tilting your head to look up at him, and you reply, “yes?”

His auburn hair that usually falls perfectly in place now fell so it was covering half his face. You reach up to move it aside but his fingers latch to your wrist and slowly bring your hand back down to his lap.

Matt doesn’t have to see you to know you’re confused by his movements. That’s all he can really do, to show his feelings to you. He can’t possibly find the right words to describe how much he likes you–words fail him in that sense. He has so much to say to you, there’s so much that he feels. All he can do is hold your hand tighter and kiss your forehead.

“I like this a lot,” is all he can say. Foolish, he feels. The most beautiful girl you’ve ever talked to, the most sincere heart you’ve ever known is sitting right next to you, and that’s all you have to say?

You let out a soft laugh, “I’m glad, Matt. I was hoping you’d be staying a while.”

He knows what you mean by that. Not just staying a while in this dorm with you but staying a while in your life. Matt smiles.

“How are your classes, by the way? Are you feeling as overwhelmed with work as I?” He asks.

You shift, lifting your head from his shoulder.

“Yeah, a little,” you trail off, “I kind of jump at the work when it’s presented to me so I don’t get overwhelmed. And the faster I finish the bullshit busy work, the faster I can continue my investigating on that robbery.”

That robbery. The word takes him out of reality for a moment. Matt hasn’t roamed the streets since you both made up. He made a promise to himself to not let himself get distracted so he can put more time and energy into you, and he has. But hearing you bring up the robbery again stirs something inside of him: anxiety.

“Oh, really?” Matt asks, covering the worry in his tone. “Are there any…updates on that?”

“Any leads you mean?” You correct in jest. “Well, after break I’m going to the woman’s house for an interview. Her name is Camila Fredrick. I’ve already set up dates and everything. She’s more comfortable meeting after the holiday, which I totally understand. I’m just happy she agreed to speak with me. ‘You must be more pleasant than the real media’ she said in the email back,” you laugh, “I guess the title Undergrad comes off nicer.”

Matt forces himself to laugh at your jokes. He can’t stop his heart from beating so fast. Sure, you’d be meeting with the woman, Camila, in her own home, but how do you know you’d be safe from someone who could potentially be stalking her?

“Well, that’s lucky, I guess,” Matt replies.

“Yeah. She’s lucky for surviving, too. And I think she’s safe from the shooter… he’s in jail. His bail is like, almost $10,000, so I don’t think he’ll be getting out anytime soon.”

The last few words made Matt calm down just a little more. Still, what you didn’t know (that Matt does know) is that Neil isn’t the only player in this game.

“Whatever you do, wherever you go, ___, just be careful,” Matt tells you in a hushed voice. “This city is great, but it’s ugly.”

“I know, Matty,” the nickname slipped from your lips. Matt doesn’t seem to mind it. “I’m a tough girl, ya know?”

He smiles, “you are.”

For a moment, a fleeting moment, his mind plays an awful, cruel, trick on him and replaces Camila with you. The amount of rage that fills his blood, God forbid you were ever put in such danger… he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He wouldn’t wait for the law to bring justice. He’d serve it for you, even if that meant getting his hands bloody and bruised again.

The record has stopped playing. You glance at the clock. It’s not late yet, but you do feel sleepy. You sigh and stretch. If you and Matt were going to be going to your home in New Jersey, you’d better get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow is a day of packing, and then leaving the next day.

Matt says he’ll meet you in the morning for coffee and then he joked that you may need to help him pack his suitcase tomorrow. Joke or not, you’d be there in a heartbeat. You looked forward to spending the next few days with Matt.

He kisses you goodnight. The sound of his cane echoing down the hall almost puts you to sleep.

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 02

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3k+

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended

01 | 03 | 04

   it was day two of having to call your nanny for seyoung because you were too busy with work to get home at a godly hour. if it wasn’t for seulgi, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. anytime you needed her to cook, clean, or take care of your baby girl, she’d be on the case as soon as she could. seulgi means wisdom. you thought her parents couldn’t have chosen a better name for her.

   like you, seulgi has a passion for music. seulgi recently joined sm entertainment, not as a trainee, but as a songwriter. when she brought you the news that she’d been hired, you couldn’t have been more happy for her. over coffee, she explained to you how they offered her a position as a trainee for her voice, but she insisted she would go on as a songwriter because she loves taking care of children, especially seyoung. although seulgi was so cheerful to let you know, you felt as though you had dragged her down from something she may have considered a dream. as you confessed your worry, she begged you not to, saying she knew she wouldn’t be happy as an idol and that she’d get a larger sum of money as a songwriter. her words calmed you, making you feel like, for once, you haven’t done anything wrong. seulgi was like your second daughter, and you love her just as much as you love seyoung.

   “yes, (y/n), seyoung’s in bed! she begged me to make her something new for dinner, so we made pasta together. i just sent you a picture.” seulgi chuckled through the phone, your call about five minutes in.

   “ i’m so glad you guys had fun. i'm guessing she slept later than usual?” you sighed, relieved. you can always count on seulgi.

   “of course she did, you know how seyoung is.” you could practically see her cheerful smile through the phone. “she said, and i quote, ‘mommy isn’t here today, so i’ll go to sleep as late as i want!’ and about ten minutes after that, she was out cold.”

   “seulgi-ah, i can’t believe how lucky i am to have found you. i don’t think i say this enough, but thank you so, so much.” phone balancing between your ear and shoulder, you fumbled with your keys, pulling open your purse to find them.

   “it’s no problem, (y/n). you and seyoung are like my second family.” seulgi paused, the sound of a door shutting softly from the other end of the line. “and… i've cleaned up seyoung’s room! any plans for tonight?”

   “tonight?” you questioned aloud, finally finding your keys and stepping into your car. glancing at the digital clock on your dash, you realized it was three in the morning, and poor seulgi was still in your house watching over your daughter. “uh, well, i'm going to meet seyoung’s teacher at four, so that’s new.”

   seulgi giggled quietly. “did seyoung do something wrong? i know she’s naughty at home, but i never would’ve thought she would mess around at school!”

   “of course, not, she’s got (l/n) blood in her. we deceive everyone with out good looks and amazing personalities.” you joked, earning a shared laugh. “her teacher emailed the parents asking to meet with us, and i decided to sign up as soon as i could. he sounds really excited to get to know seyoung, so i’d like to get to know him.”

   “fair enough, (y/n)! if i may ask, how far away are you from home?” seulgi questioned, a tone of uneasiness in her voice.

   “about two-ish minutes away? why do you ask?” you answered, silently thanking the world that the traffic wasn’t bad this morning. after all, it’s three in the fucking morning. who other than rebellious teenagers or stressed-out parents are driving at this hour?

   “ah, no worries, then. i have classes today, and i thought i might be late or too tired to go if i stayed.” there was a short pause, the faint sound of your car pulling into the driveway on the other end. “i see you!” seulgi cheered. “i’ll come out to greet you, (y/n)."

   almost trudging out of your car, you emerged from the driver's seat, the garage noisily opening behind you. “hi, seulgi.” you groaned. the headlights of your car reflected against what storage you have inside of your garage, straining your eyes and what energy you had left at this point. seeing her approach, you grabbed onto her hands, holding them tightly and shaking them with a firm grip. “thank you, thank you so much for staying with seyoung this late. i know it inconvenienced you, and i'm sorry about that.”

   “(y/n), it’s fine! i'm just doin’ my job.” seulgi smiled crookedly, her hair falling towards her face. “good night!” seulgi waved, bowing politely before walking out of your garage cheerfully. you smiled and watched her get into her car, making sure she at least got in safe.

   the moment her car was out of sight you nearly collapsed in the middle of your garage from exhaustion. pulling your purse from the passenger’s seat, you closed your garage door, making sure to shut the door into your house from your garage to make sure seyoung was not disturbed. throwing your purse onto your desk in defeat, you pulled off your flats and shuffled towards your dresser. kicking off your pants angrily and throwing it, along with your shirt, into your hamper, you pulled on the nearest tank top you could and tumbled into your bed, allowing your body to be consumed in the sheets. you laid your head onto your pillow, holding your phone up to spot a new notification from seulgi. “oh, the picture.” you thought aloud.

   swiping up to see what she’d sent, a photo of a smiley seyoung, face covered in pasta sauce, greeted you, noodles laying across her face and being gripped in her small hands. it made you smile, seeing how happy your baby girl was. a second picture accompanied it, showing seulgi with a tomato sauce baby handprint on her left cheek, her and seyoung making silly faces.

   you put your phone to charge next to you, happy that your night — or day, rather — had ended on such a happy note. you felt yourself letting go of the ‘family’ mindset. all the family you needed was right here.

   you groaned in annoyance, the sunlight pouring from your window blinding your eyes as you opened them. adjusting your eyes to your current situation, you felt a huge pressure on your chest, wriggling under whatever was sitting on top of you. “mommy, mommy!” a girl’s voice chirped, shaking your shoulders lightly.

   “seyoung…?” you groaned, lifting your head to find your daughter straddling your stomach, smiling happily at you in her purple iridescent pajamas, the sunlight bouncing off of the sparkles creating a disco ball inside your bedroom.

   “mhm!” she nodded her head furiously. “mommy, it’s time for school. your alarm woke me up, but it didn’t wake you up, so i decided to be mommy’s alarm instead!” seyoung explained, letting herself fall onto the unoccupied pile of blanket next to you.

   shaking the covers loose, you emerged from your bed, bedhead and all. making her leave the room so you could quickly change into something more ‘responsible parent’ ready, you followed your marching daughter to her room, letting her pick out what she wanted to wear.  she twirled stylishly, modeling the new navy blue skirt you bought her, something newly added to her school’s uniform. “you look so pretty, se-se.” you complimented sleepily, chuckling at her playful spirit that could rise so early in the morning. it was something you always admired of your daughter, and you hoped she’d never lose it.

   you laughed happily at your daughter grabbing your wrist in determination and leading you back to your bedroom, where your large master bathroom stood. seyoung always told you how much she liked it in comparison to her bathroom, because in the master bathroom, she could sit on the counter and watch you style her hair from almost every angle. you pulled her up to the counter and brushed her hair, the brush falling gracefully, barely meeting a knot in her hair. knowing how much she enjoys wearing colorful clips with her outfits each day, you paired blue butterfly clips with her navy skirt. she seemed to enjoy this, pointing to the matching accessories with a wide grin on her face.

   “se-se,” you called, tieing your hair into a ponytail and putting a jacket on after putting her cereal on the dining table. “eat your breakfast! mommy has to make sure your teacher doesn’t think she looks silly.”

   seyoung’s giggles erupted from the far end of your house, the sounds of her small footsteps pattering against the hardwood floor approaching you quickly. “okay, mommy!” she bounced when she saw you, pausing for a moment before dashing towards the dining table to eat quickly. you chuckled at your daughter’s seemingly endless amount of excitement, reentering your bathroom to clean yourself up. looking up at your nude face, you sighed, spotting how deep your eye bags had gotten. from the time seyoung was born, caring about your looks became a thing of the past, but now, you’re starting to wonder whether or not you should get back on that self-confidence train. because right now, it looks like that train derailed, and even though it no longer has a path, it keeps on chugging. so, in conclusion, a bad thing’s consequences are finally showing up, and without dealing with that first bad thing, another bad thing is bound to happen. lightly dabbing on some concealer and foundation, you fixed the signs of a mother with ‘parent of the year’ button hanging by a thread. looking at yourself once again, you felt a pot of confidence beginning to bubble in your chest. makeup isn’t necessary and never will be, but sometimes, it’s nice to feel nice.

   “i’m done!” seyoung called, the sound of cluttered dishes in the kitchen sink clattering against each other.

   “be careful!” you warned, worried she may break something and end up hurting herself or damaging something else. fear piling up in your mind as you imagined each and every terrible outcome possible, you rushed towards the living room, just to find a calm seyoung sitting on the couch, her backpack securely attached to her back and her legs dangling from the floor. sighing silently in relief, you adjusted your posture, offering your hand to your daughter. “ready to go?” you smiled brightly as you felt your larger palm engulf her soft hand.

   “seyoungie, i’m meeting your teacher today!” you said happily, eyes darting towards the rear-view mirror to see her mid-drive.

   “really?” she smiled, kicking her legs in excitement. “you’re meeting mr. jeon?” her voice became higher, indicating her exhilaration.

   “mhm!” you nodded, amused at how elated she was at this news. “how’s mr. jeon, anyway? do you like him? is he fun?” you asked, wanting to know what exactly made her so enthusiastic about this specific teacher. in the past, seyoung’s always been excited for school, but never her teachers. she’d go on and on about what drama her seven-year-old classmates would have, but never completely ditch the narrative to talk about a teacher.

   “i really, really like mr. jeon, mommy.” seyoung explained, hugging her lunchbox. “on the first day of school, he gave us all these gummy candies that are supposed to be healthy for us, and gave us an extra one whenever we got the names right in the name game we were playing! he did it so we could get to know everyone in the class. and- and then, he showed us his tangerine points! for every time the class does well on a quiz or something, then we get a tangerine point! if we get ten tangerine points by the end of the year, he said we can have a tangerine party!” she squealed, kicking her legs even faster at the thought of treats — it was one incentive for kids, but something completely different for seyoung. she loves snacks, no matter what it is. if you have celery, and you offer her one, she’ll ask for more until you say no. but, then again, who could say no to such a cute face? “oh! oh! and, he’s a super fun teacher. yeah, he makes math fun. and you know mommy, you know how much i don’t like math.”

   “yes, baby, i know. math is our mortal enemy.” you laughed, finally arriving at her school. you looked over the dashboard, searching for an empty spot to park.

   “there he is!” seyoung yelled, slamming her hands up against the window. “that’s mr. jeon! that’s him!”

   “seyoung! you nearly scared the life out of me!” you gripped your wheel in shock, the loud bang of her palms hitting the glass startling you to a point you didn’t even know she could. thankfully, you’d gotten in the spot safely without hitting anyone in the process.

   “awe, mommy, you missed it! now he’s in the school.” she pout, crossing her arms against her lunchbox.

   you stepped out of your car carefully, taking a deep breath of fresh, outside air to calm your senses. “baby, i know you’re excited about your teacher, but you can’t scare mommy like that. we could’ve gotten hurt, you know, and that wouldn’t be fun. if you get hurt, mommy will be sad, daddy will be sad, mr. jeon will be sad, and so will all your friends!” you pulled seyoung out of her car seat, pulling her bag from the spot next to her and handing it to her.

   “what about yubin auntie?” seyoung asked, looking up at you in wonder, still clutching her lunchbox.

   “yes, also yubin auntie.” you swallowed your anger and nodded, knowing that seyoung’s relationship with ‘yubin auntie’ was much more friendly and less backstabbing than yours. “we’ll all be sad.” the two of you walked into seyoung’s school, seyoung greeting her friends older and younger than her and you earning smiles and waves from those you’re familiar with. she led you to her room quickly, where she opened the door to reveal it.

   the classroom was decorated beautifully, bright colors and fun posters and class supplies adorning the walls. the whiteboard was labeled very neatly, with the tangerine point scoreboard drawn in its own box, embellished with cute magnets that were found across the board as well, mostly being used to hold up pieces of paper. you turned to the wall next to you, which held petite hooks where his students could put their bags, a little name tag above each one in each child’s handwriting, decorated the way they liked. your eyes, flying from decoration to inspirational poster and back to a decoration finally landed on the teacher himself, who was leaning over his desk to what looked like thumb through some papers.

   “mr. jeon!” seyoung called, her teacher’s head immediately turning to see who’d called him over, looking to be near your age. “mr. jeon, good morning!” she waved vigorously.

   “seyoung!” he replied, a dazzling smile cracking across his face. you, now getting a good look at her teacher, now saw why seyoung was so enthusiastic about him. with just one word, you could tell just how devoted he was to each and every one of his students. you could basically see the same excitement in seyoung’s eyes reflected in his own. not to mention, he was insanely attractive — but it’s not like seyoung was old enough to worry about that, yet. “good morning to you, too! how are you?"

   “i'm good!” seyoung piped, waddling over to place her bag on her designated hook. “that’s my mommy!” she motioned to you, mr. jeon’s soft, brown eyes immediately meeting yours.

   “ah, the famous ms. (l/n)!” he smiled, walking closer to you. “seyoung, you can sit down until class starts! i’ll talk to your mom for a little bit.” he asked, nodding towards her seat. you’ve never seen seyoung respond to an order from an adult so quickly. honestly, you were a little jealous. “seyoung is quite the talker, but you wouldn’t believe how much she talks about you. and now, day four into the new school year, i can finally meet you!” he offered his hand to you, you holding it lightly to shake it.

   “oh, that’s so flattering,” you chuckled, glancing down at his hand. huh, no ring. “we’re set up for a four pm parent meeting today? i just wanted to pop in to get to know you and see the classroom seyoung goes on and on about. she talks about you a lot, too.” you complimented.

   “yes, we are! and, i’m so happy to hear seyoung likes me and my class. i remember when i was a student, i had this epiphany: a teacher’s job is to teach because they want to teach, so why not make the students come because they want to learn? so, i build my teaching style around that, but, i make sure i don’t distract them too much with the gifts and games. school’s main purpose is knowledge, right?” he joked, laughing heartily.

   “i'm very happy that seyoung is happy at school. you’re truly making her day. i do have to run now, but i’ll see you later at four, hopefully, to discuss seyoung and more about your class?” you asked, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. fuck, did that make you look uncomfortable? well, you’re always uncomfortable, but it’s not because of him nor this conversation!

  while you were in your state of mild panic, mr. jeon flashed you the same energetic smile he gave seyoung. “of course and of course! i look forward to seeing you again, miss…?” he trailed off, hoping to get your name.

   “(y/n).” you replied, feeling confident, though not understanding why your cheeks felt so hot. “(y/n), seyoung’s mother.” you reiterated, adding a fact about yourself you were most proud of.

   “miss (y/n), seyoung’s mother.” he repeated, his face softening to an understanding look, his lips curling upwards. “until we meet again, miss (y/n)." tag list: 

@ggsmashgg​, @childishbxmbino​

[anjalena123]

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Profit Mate Review 2021 = Introduction If you're trapped in this extraordinary age, being quarantined or stagnant with social isolation, losing employment or getting tired of endless bills, it's time for you to think out of the box and start a versatile company. Of course, there's nothing more agile and productive than online business, the ideal option to start making money without leaving home. If you want to set up an online company, but you don't have any clients, and you don't know where to find those customers, then you've come to the right location. I truly appreciate the strain, and I'm trying to assist you with the launch of an awesome app to transform the conditions, which is Profit Mate. It is no wonder that Internet Marketing (IM) has brought some excellent advantages relative to other ways of earning profits. It helps you to work on a flexible basis (so that you can be with your wife and kids anytime you need to) and finish your job anywhere you choose (as long as your laptop has Internet access). Particularly now that the pandemic creates such chaotic results on Earth, you can easily create your own IM company while socialising and staying healthy.

Being mindful of these fantastic benefits, more and more consumers are entering the online market, making it much more lucrative than they were years before. But there's nothing to do with it, it's only a matter of time for the market to get crowded. The only thing that matters here is whether your company is strong enough to battle the highly competitive market, or whether it will quickly be out of date and removed from the competition.

To remain strong amid the rivalry and not to be omitted by all the other vendors, your company really needs this hidden tool that I've been investigating lately. This machine’s called Profit Mate. The name is quite self-explanatory as it will be your great friend to make easy commissions. I will show you more interesting information in the next parts of this review. Profit Mate Review 2021= OverView Creator

Brendan Mace

Product

Profit Mate

Launch Date

2021-Feb-24

Launch Time

09:00 EDT

Front-End Price

$16.93  

Bonus

Yes, Huge Bonus

Skill

All Level

Guarantee

30 days money back guarantee

Niche

Software

Support

Еffесtіvе Rеѕроnѕе

Recommend

Highly Recommend!

Profit Mate Review 2021=What does Profit Mate Mean? Profit Mate is a cloud-based software that helps you quickly create an infinite email list from the internet in 42 seconds? All you need to do is check for "some keyword" & Profit Mate will instantly create a profit list. Would it sound very unlikely for you? Join me to see how true and beautiful it is!

Or

Profit Mate is the amazing app that automatically collects up to 1,000’s of leads from “Contact Us” pages on the internet. The system also includes offers to present to newly generated contacts.

Without a doubt, this can be the future of Internet Marketing that you can stand the chance to reach your customers easily at a very short notice.

Profit Mate Review 2021=Features and Benefit There are a number of features and a lot of benefits with Profit Mate that I've mentioned a couple of them below:

Instantly producing 1,000 lead

Connect to leads right away through social media sites or email campaigns

Share campaigns directly on social media sites

Build email templates to contact the lead

Allows you to directly threaten website owners on the grounds of their own This may sound too good to be true, but the fact is within half an hour, you will get results without websites, autoresponders or tech things. Even if you start from scratch, this approach is designed to build a shortcut to success.

Imagine the same tech that produces huge passive income every day within 30 minutes of accessing the member's area. Profit Mate makes things possible for someone to get started with as little as 10 minutes from now, and you're not making something from scratch, you're immediately producing leads on demand, and delivering it to the "top offer."

Profit Mate will only take you 5-10 minutes to set up. When you've got it rolling, you should leave it in the background.

With the automation attached to it, you will waste too much time on something else and also collecting commissions from this wonderful computer.

You are collecting leads from the “Contact Us” pages on Google for any topic, which means you are just legally reaching out to people via contact data they have offered you, the app just automates it.

And the best part… this is 100% legal, and nobody can stop you from doing it over and over.

This technique has been embraced by several gurus for years and is now undergoing final review by beta users of the Profit Mate software. You don't have to think about whether the app will really work. A lot of people have made money out of it for such a long time. Profit Mate Review 2021= How to use Profit Mate ? Well, this is the crucial issue.

Not everybody is going to use Profit Mate in the same manner.

And if you're new to internet marketing...

...you will not know whether to advertise or how to get in touch with leads. As far as I can see, there are three key ways to make use of Profit Mate:   

    Selling Services To Local Businesses

CPA     Marketing

Affiliate     Marketing

The most difficut part of Profit Mate is finding the right keywords.

After all, you don’t want to sell services to those selling the services you’re offering.

So, in my bonus I will show you how to go after the right audience.

As I already mentioned above, Profit Mate is simple but work as a charm. Let’s me breakdown how it works so that you can understand why I can say so:

First of all, it downloads “contacts” in any niche from the “contact us” page of any search keyword on Google.

All you need to do is put in your "target" and click "Search Now!" Take, for example, the keyword "Dog Training." Then Profit Mate searches the internet and discovers all the website operators of the "Dog Training" affiliated pages.

In other words, you are immediately bringing together a list of heavily selected future clients to deliver your preference. All in "seconds" from the GO news. See more info in the section below part of my article.                                    Profit Mate Review 2021= My Personal using experience It has been mentioned on a daily basis that data is the future of our planet. And thankfully, data is the biggest component of what you will get from Profit Mate. It's real that people pay a costly price to dig into the data field. That's why I'd deem Profit Mate to be the No.1 option for newbies. With Profit Mate, you just need to pay once for leads that are categorised into separate niches, which effectively ensures that you will run tailored campaigns so as not to spend time on something else.

In comparison, this Profit Mate is working on an autopilot. No additional activities will be involved in designing, customising, or "secret" pages. You have removed all the hard work and are free to spend more time with loved ones. I’ve tried this software as a tester recently. I’m going to instruct you how to use this amazingly handy machine and make the most honest review for you.

Finally, given the fact that the system is really convenient to users of all level, you will never believe how much it costs to grab one copy of the offer.

Let’s see the price in the next part of this review!

Profit Mate Review 2021= Price and Evaluation You just need to pay $16.93 to get access to this exclusive software that turns "Searches" into "Email Lists" on request. This discount offer is only available in a very short period, and this is your precious opportunity to hop on!

The FE offer of Profit Mate is set on a dime sale, which means the price will increase per sale. If you are interested in this product or find it useful for your business, just go ahead and take it right now! OTO 1: PLATINUM EDITION ($67)

Comes with UNLIMITED EVERYTHING as well as way more features.

OTO 2: DONE FOR YOU LEADS IN THE BEST NICHES ($197)

Get monthly campaigns from us for life. This is a “one time” payment with no recurring fees whatsoever.

OTO 3: DONE FOR YOU CAMPAIGNS ALREADY COMPLETED ($97)

Everything all set up and good to go for easy profits.

OTO 4: DONE FOR YOU API INTEGRATION ($77)

We are going to allow 100 people siphon the traffic directly from our sales pages. An excellent investment…

OTO 5: UNLIMITED TRAFFIC ($197)

License Rights: 100% commissions on the entire funnel.

Profit Mate Review 2021= Which person should buy this? Affiliate

Online Marketer

ECom Store Owner

Agency

Freelancer

Designer

Website Developer

Content Creator

Blogger Profit Mate Review 2021= Pros and Cons of Profit Mate

Pros Cloud-Based App – nothing to install or download, access from any device

Fully-fledged, online business solution!

  100% newbie-friendly cloud app!

 It’s all there… 100% automated

Turning those leads into sales

If you set up your Profit Mate, and don’t make at least $100-$1,000 in your first 3 days, then we will give you back double your investment. 

Simple but efficient

Perfect to start your business

It can pretty much guarantee you’re as excited as we are right now… 

Setup is fast and can be in as little as 10 minutes

You don’t need ARs, websites, other softwares, etc

You are “shortcutting” lead generation

This is 100% legal and safe

Cons Right now , There is no cons Profit Mate Review 2021= Conclusion

Profit Mate is, without a doubt, a perfect tool for you right now. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to leap straight into this gold mine and raise some money on the contributions of others from their traffic to their goods when you don't have to do any hard work at all! I highly recommend this product and you never have to think twice about purchasing it. REMEMBER! If you purchase through my link, you will be supported 24/7; That means you can contact me ANYTIME when you get trouble in using or can not contact with the authors/ product supporters. I will help you RIGHT AWAY!

This is the end of my Profit Mate Review. I hope that my article will lend you a hand in choosing the right tool for your business.

Well, I bet that you want to own this product now. So, click the sales button now before the price goes up.

Lastly, if you like this product, comment below and let me know!

-DISCLOSURE- I am affiliated, but not sponsored by any product featured in this article. The links in the article are my affiliate links which means if you click on one of them and buy the product I’ll receive a small commission. Not being sponsored allows me to keep my own opinions and provide product reviews without bias. From the millions of products, I pick the ones I personally have tested and have been highly impressed which I’ll then recommend. This is how I feed my family by making honest and useful reviews so that you can make informed buying decisions. I appreciate your support.

[actordougjones]

Helen Chavez 1959 ~ 2020

Sitting in silent conflict today, some numbness, many tears, grief, and the happiest memories that make my heart smile. To lose a close friend (whom I referred to as my big sister for the last 16 years) to complications from covid-19 and other health issues, is a blow I could not be prepared for. Yet to sit with my memories of her is a relished joy.

Many knew her as “Hellmistress” on the Sony Pictures Hellboy message boards in 2003. As I was an occasional visitor in those boards while filming Hellboy, I took special note of the witty, gentle, sarcastic, encouraging posts from this woman I found myself wanting to know more of.

She made her way into those message boards by way of her love for Ron Perlman, as she also was a contributing writer for a site called ThePerlmanPages dot com. But once in there, and once we got to interacting, Helen and I both found kindred spirits in each other, about the same age, about the same irreverent sense of humor.

She jokingly described herself as “windswept and interesting.” When we finally met in person the first time around the premiere events Guillermo del Toro had arranged for these fans of Hellboy in April 2004, I found this description of her to be true.  All I had to hear was that Helen had sold a cow to finance her flight from Scotland, and I knew I was right about this one!  Yes, she and her husband Mark raised cattle on their rural farm outside Aberdeenshire, Scotland.  But she was also a highly knowledgeable archivist at the local museum there.  With a thirst for learning, and a lover of history, artifacts, classic film, TV, music, literature, science fiction, and all things geekery, she did indeed earn her “windswept and interesting” title.

(Our first in-person meeting after “Hellebration” 2004 with Sony Pictures Hellboy message board regulars, Left to Right: Maurice Mpayamaguru, Dougie, Pat Paone, Helen Chavez - who was so excited to be having a burger with American ketchup!)

She flew away the next day in 2004, but that would not be the last of this Helen. Upon returning home to Scotland, her friend and ThePerlmanPages creator Pat Paone (who had also been on this trip) said something to Helen that lingered in the air... “After this entire ‘Hellebration’ weekend in Los Angeles, do you realize you haven’t stopped talking about Doug Jones?” which struck Helen odd since she was a devout Perlman fan who was gushing about someone other than Ron after a weekend to celebrate a movie in which Ron held the title character.

That’s when I received an email from Helen proposing an official website she wanted to create for me. So was born TheDougJonesExperience dot com, a site that was lovingly poured over and updated by Helen as her pet project that she never let me pay a dime for, no matter how I tried, from 2004 to 2014, when her own life required her to take pause. That pause from the site included finishing up her Masters Degree, still working full time at the museum, still tending the cattle, and now caregiving to her husband’s failing health ... followed by her own health issues.

She was ever the stoic type, though, who never ever, EVER wanted to be a burden on me, so I would rarely hear of her trials in life unless I told her, “I’m not hanging up until you start talking.”  She would always brush off her own issues and turn things back around to doting on me like the protective big sister she loved being.  She also took in Mrs. Laurie as her little sister with great pride.

To sum up the amount of life shared with this incredible woman would take volumes.  Volumes that could be tied together with one thread.... “cheerleader.” She championed me personally and professionally with the kind of care and tireless energy that gave my own mother and Mrs. Laurie a run for their money!

Her cheerleading came in the form of not only that exhaustive website with endless fan correspondence as she wrote with a voice that was uncannily like my own, then later helping administrate “The Tank” forum on DelToroFilms dot com where “FanSapiens” would gather to chat about little ol’ me, but also trips to see me when I was in the United Kingdom for a fan convention in Birmingham, or a make-up trade show in London.  She also ingratiated herself to Guillermo del Toro and was invited to visit our Hellboy II: The Golden Army filming set in Budapest with her old friend Pat Paone, spending a large part of that visit with me through my whole day, from make-up, to the Troll Market set, to lunchtime, to afternoon naps in my trailer for all of us, to touring the city on a rare day off. 

(During Hellboy 2 set visit 2007 at Budapest, Hungary’s “Hero Square” pictured Left to Right: Pat Paone, Dougie, Helen Chavez)

And I could never tally up the countless hours of phone chats, messenger chats, book-length emails, where she was often celebrating successes with me, calming my nerves when I had failed, giving me some well-needed big sisterly advice on life, or playfully nagging me to sleep and eat more.  Boy, was she ever stern about those last two.  If I even hinted that I had been pushing myself too hard, not sleeping enough, not eating right, she would give me “the look.”  You don’t want “the look.”   It was that raised eyebrows, all-knowing eyes searing into me kind of look, with a probing stare over the top of her glasses into my soul kind of look. You could hide nothing from her when she gave “the look.”

I adored hearing all her tales from her museum, getting history lessons all the while about who used what in what century in what country for what purpose, everything from farm tools to ancient toilet paper.  To keep me in her loop, one year for Christmas she sent me some ancient Roman coins, after I had mentioned how I love looking at coins, waving it off with, “those things are so easy to come by.” Her gifts were always accompanied by authentic Scottish shortbread cookies.  But my favorite story of hers was the mummy head she had no better place for, so he lived under her desk ... for years.  And of course, she named him “Marlon.”

I’ve always been a hugger, but Helen is the one who taught me about “Bosies.” The difference being that a Bosie is a huggle that doesn’t need to end anytime soon, where you envelop the other person in a cradle that makes them feel safe.  She was masterful at those Bosies.

I could tell Helen stories for hours, as could so many of you puppies whose lives she touched with her listening skills, mentorship, and her tireless encouragement to keep all of us creatives reaching for our dreams.

(Pictued at “Hellebration” 2008 with “FanSapiens” Left to Right: Tim Rosenberger, Katie McGregor, Helen Chavez, Stephanie Metz, Dougie, Kate Daley, Seth Lombardi)

(Pictured at Hellboy 2 premiere after party 2008 with DelToroFilms regulars; Top row: Paul Kindschi, Gary Deocampo, Maurice Mpayamaguru. Bottom row: Helen Chavez, Dougie)

But I’ll leave you with one last story.  It was 2008, and we flew Helen out to Los Angeles (I didn’t want her to sell another cow) to join all the festivities for the premiere week of Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and to see the finished product of the film set she visited with me the year before. Everything from having a salon day with Mrs. Laurie to get all done up for the red carpet premiere, and the next day she was sporting a fancy fish-print top to dutifully lead Team Blue (those beloved FanSapiens) at the Del Toro sponsored “Hellebration” party and screening night. Another experience I wanted to give her that week was her first press junket, so Mrs. Laurie gladly went to her own job that day, and Helen went with me down to the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills, where many film press junkets take place on a floor full of press suites. These are high energy days, as one after another, TV, radio, print, and dot com journalists interview us back to back all day. Helen watched from behind the monitors with Publicist John, and every time I glanced over, she was just beaming as she gave me a thumbs-up. At the end of this marathon day, we were heading home in the back of the studio-hired limo, and my eyes were getting droopy in the dark.  Helen glanced over the top of her glasses with “the look” and said with all the doting mother, favorite auntie, protective big sister she had in her, “Awe, little brother mine, come here.” I leaned my head onto her shoulder, while she pet my hair and told me how overjoyed she was with this phase of my life, and how watching me handle all the press that day made her “buttons burst with pride,” a phrase she used many a time. She always knew how to bring such peace, such calm, such encouragement, such a safe harbor.  The next thing I knew the car stopped in front of the house, and I awoke with her still holding my weary head.

Oh how I wish for one more limo ride.  One more chance to soak in her uplifting words, so I might know how to handle whatever comes next.

She went by many names -- Hellmistress, Webmaster Helen, or her preferred “Webmistress” Helen, Auntie Helen, Mentor Helen, Therapist Helen, Dear Friend Helen, Big Sister Helen, but there was only one Helen in this wacky world. She leaves a void that no one else can fill. It’s painful how much I miss her already.

I pray the angels gave her a thrilling ride to her rightful place in Heaven.  I can almost feel her gaze again right now, as she sits at the edge of a crescent moon, tilts her gaze down over the top of her glasses and gives me “the look”.....

Alright, Big Sis, I’ll eat something and get to sleep now. 

[daggerzine]

A chat with Kiki of Kiki’s House of Righteous Music in Madison, Wisconsin  (by Eric Eggleson)

A friend and I recently had the pleasure of attending a show at Kiki’s House of Righteous Music. It’s truly amazing what Kiki Schueler has put together in her basement (and in her backyard as well). I had heard about her shows, but I never got the chance to go to one. When Jason Ringenberg was scheduled; I knew I had to go. Think of a bunch of friends gathering together in someone’s basement listening to music you love. There are gig posters all over the walls from many great concert venues in the Midwest. And then, in walks a national recording artist who begins sharing his life and his music. Needless to say, we were amazed. Kiki welcomed us into her home and her love of music is obvious when you meet her. I asked her if she would answer a few questions for Dagger and she agreed.

When did Kiki’s House of Righteous Music start?

Back in 2005, I had just read an article about house concerts when my friend Tim Easton sent an email looking for show ideas in between Chicago and Minneapolis.  I cautiously offered, “you could play here…”  He immediately wrote back, “I was hoping you would say that!”

How do you choose artists?

It has to be someone I love.  I don’t book artists I haven’t seen.  I’ll do a show anytime someone I want to play can play.  Sometimes I contact them; sometimes they find me.

Which artist has played the most?

Jon Dee Graham.  He first played show #3 in 2007 with The Silos and has played a total of 23 times.  Although Robbie Fulks (18) and Jon Langford (21) are threatening for the lead.

What are some of your most memorable artist performances? 

The Baseball Project show after Scott McCaughey had recovered from a stroke.  It was their first show outside the Seattle area, and it is always surreal to have half of REM in my basement.  Robbie Fulks has brought some truly amazing musicians with him, and his shows are always transcendent.  Andre Williams with the GoldStars; he’s still the only artist to have changed his outfit for the encore.  The Figgs have played marathon thirty plus song shows, and no one is ever ready for them to stop.  Jon Langford and John Szymanski playing for a dozen people in the backyard last fall. This was the only live music anyone had seen in months.

Who would you like to perform?

Lou Barlow, Joe Ely, Dave Simonett, MC Taylor, Craig Finn, Bill Kirchen, John Darnielle, the list goes on, some more realistic than others.

How has Covid-19 affected you?

I watched a lot of streaming shows in the last year and a half, and it totally worked for me, so I didn’t miss live music as much as some people did.  I still went to work most days.  I missed doing the shows of course, but I was just as happy reading books and watching movies.  Turns out I might be an introvert, who knew?

How many shows have you lost because of it?

I think I had to cancel about fourteen.  Since I usually do thirty plus shows a year, it’s safe to say I lost at least that many.

What’s your day job?

I work at UW Madison as a researcher in a lab in the Biochemistry department.

You have a great situation happening, what suggestion would you give to help other people to start doing what you do? 

It never hurts to ask.  If there is someone you want to play, just ask. 

A good place to start is with Undertow (https://undertowshows.com/pages/about-undertow). They set up living room shows for a number of artists, and they make it really easy to do your first show by walking you through the how to’s.  Bonus, they take care of tickets.

For the show I went to, Jason said he gets all the ticket sales. Who pays for the sound guy? What’s in it for you?  

I’ve been very lucky to find sound people who volunteer their time in exchange for dinner and a few beers.  And of course, a great show.  For me, I get to see a band I love in my basement.

Have you had any backlash or bad situations with artists/neighbors?

Never anything bad with the artists, everyone has been great and very happy to be here.  Most of my neighbors think what I’m doing is cool.  In the early days, they would see all the cars, but no people inside, so I think they were happy to find out that I was having music in my basement and not something else.  There have been a few complaints about parking, but none about noise.

I loved the Sessions at McPike Park concert you set up in Madison with Chuck Prophet and Bonnie Whitmore. How did that come about? Do you do this kind of thing often because of your connections?

Bob Queen asked if I’d be interested in curating a night of the Sessions back in 2018, though I still don’t know what prompted him to ask me.  I think he was looking for someone with a different perspective.  This year was my third, and every show has been a blast.  I don’t do it often, just the Session once a year; for the most part, the basement is big enough for me.

Top Ten desert island discs? (If you were stuck on a desert island, what 10 albums would you HAVE to have with you?)

There’s only two I have to have- Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks and Chris Mills The Silver Line, three through ten probably change on a daily basis.

First record or piece of music you bought?

Billy Joel The Stranger

What are some of your favorite concert venues?  

The Hideout in Chicago, Fitzgerald’s in Berwyn, The Turf Club in St Paul and Café Carpe in Ft. Atkinson.            

Favorite live shows? Bob Dylan, Robbie Fulks, Ha Ha Tonka, Dead Man Winter, and Hiss Golden Messenger.

Finish this sentence:  I want to be remembered for…

My band T-shirt collection?  I don’t need to be remembered, I just want everyone to have a good time right now.

That is so true. Kiki’s love of music is something she has to share with other like-minded people. At first I thought it was the joy of finally seeing a live show because of Covid-19 cancelling so many concerts; but watching, fully masked, made me realize it’s the warmth Kiki’s shows brings to the music scene. My friend and I hope to go back soon. We missed Steve Wynn, but maybe we’ll catch him next time around.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/363474586571/

[tfw-no-tennis]

the animorphs continues, david trilogy style

here we are...we finally arrived....the david triology

I did remember a good amount of these books from when I read these when I was like 11. but I also forgot a lot an hooooly shit 

WHERE TF DO I EVEN START. so that shit slapped obvs. it really felt like the series has been leading up to this - all the characters have had to make really difficult no-correct-answers decisions, and it leads up to this - the ultimate shitty situation with absolutely no good, clear solutions, and everyone gets to contribute to the awful conclusion! 

one thing that really stood out to me is that with David's inclusion as this kind of ‘outsider’ within the group, even though none of it was from his POV, we still get a huge sense of the animorphs being an extremely well-oiled team, who all know and trust each other very well - especially w/Jake as the leader - Jake has to make a lot of decisions in these books but the other animorphs always listen to him 

this all probably didn’t help David, who was already thrown into a completely crazy situation, and who now has to deal w/this group of kid superheroes who work very well together. it also doesn't help that David doesn't really try to find his place on the team 

anyways I love how much wild shit happens in animorphs always. like they try to steal the blue box as birds and then David chases them off w/a bb gun? and then they end up in this huge alien showdown with visser 3 and his troops in David's house? batshit

also the hilariously 90s part w/the email...lmao. like its the 90s so there's no way to shut off the automatic email remotely, they HAVE to go to David's computer, and they also can just unplug it...lmao they should've just taken out the phone lines tbh

also I completely forgot about the whole plot w/the world leaders meeting and the yeerks and stuff. that really served to ramp up the tension and also make it obvious that David was an outsider as he consistently fucked things up then played it off

also KAA did a masterful job of making David juuuust a little sympathetic in book 20, but still Off enough that you're like ehhhh I don't know about this guy...then he goes full awful creep and it becomes obvious that there’s no way they’ll be able to let him stick around in any capacity 

the bit where David kills the crow for no reason is the first Real indication that this is gonna go seriously wrong. but even before all that, his conversations w/Marco gave me like, school shooter vibes 

these books are full of some REALLY good tension. the whole end of book 21 was so tense - they've been gearing up for this mission for days now, and they’ve had to do some crazy stuff to get where they are, so the realization that it’s all a trap is completely chilling 

and then when David tried to betray them to visser three...the gravity of that decision is unmistakable, because then the yeerks would find out that the animorphs are (mostly) human children, and they’d even know who they are, and that would be the end

I loved the part where David tries to act like he was just setting up an ambush w/his betrayal to the visser, and Jake immediately has everyone play along - and they do. earlier in the series someone - probably Rachel or Marco - likely would have ignored Jake bc of how slimy David was acting, but they've basically become a highly efficient military squad at this point, and it was a perfect slow slide into that over the last 20 books, and now is the time when the reader kinda realizes this (at least for me)

even if they don’t agree w/Jake and think they should just address the David problem right then and there, they all trust Jake as their leader to make that decision 

also the fact that these are the first books to do the ‘to be continued’ thing rather than wrapping the plot up...it really made it feel all the more tense 

in other books I normally look at the page count and go ‘ok so this conflict will be solved in this scene cause there are only 15 pages left’ (which is st I do a lot I now realize lmaooo I can pretty much gauge what’ll happen based on how many pages are left - and I do this when I read fanfic too, by looking at where the scroll bar is...anyways)

BUT w/these books its totally up in the air cause they can end anytime and just get continued next book, which makes it so much more tense imo

also I fucking loooove the part in book 21 where they’re hiding out with that little pool of yeerks - and I actually bookmarked some pages for these liveblogs, so I have quotes, this one from Jake - 

‘There was something wrong about killing defenseless slugs. I was pretty sure about that.’

Oh, Jake, that opinion is gonna change someday....

it is a little ironic considering he jacuzzi’d those yeerks in like book 7 or w/e. but alas its still a fantastic line that serves to show in the end how much things have changed 

also I love that the decision not to kill those defenseless yeerks end up helping them later - the yeerks check the pool bc they’re so certain that if the andalite bandits HAD snuck in, they surely would have killed the helpless yeerks. but they didn’t, so that means the andalite bandits didn't sneak in....

I like when the characters do a morally good thing and are then rewarded by the narrative for it - it’s pretty rare in this series, where there are usually NO morally correct choices (such is life) or they’re actively punished for making a ‘good’ decision (one could argue that the decision to make David an animorph instead of letting him become a controller was a morally good decision, but it had dire consequences). 

Ok and the part I have to talk about w/these books of course - everything w/Rachel. bc damn Rachel really goes through it in this trilogy. I absolutely LOVE the character development she gets, and I especially enjoyed the way her and Jake's relationship was developed

anyways, one of the best and most fucked up quotes of the series, from Jake’s POV in book 21  - 

<Ax? I think Tobias is dead,> I said. <I think David killed him.> <That would be a most terrible thing,> Ax said.  <Yeah. Get Rachel. If David’s killed Tobias, we may have to do a terrible thing, too. Get Rachel.>

AUGHHHHH fucking chills I swear. also eternal love for them saying dead/killed/etc and never shying away from it. it really wouldn't have the same impact if they used the normal kid-safe PG words 

but yeah Jake asking for Rachel when he thinks that they may have to hunt down and kill David? phewwww. 

and the significance of this is never downplayed. this essentially confirms that Jake sees Rachel as the one who is willing and able to do the dirty work - and specifically in this case, it’s also likely bc it was Tobias who was ‘killed’ and he knows how Rachel feels about Tobias

but like, that’s so fucked up, I love it. they give this situation the exact amount of weight it requires - ch1 of book 22 has this part from Rachel - 

‘If David had hurt Tobias, I would... But what was the point in making threats? I didn't need to make threats. I knew what I would do. So did Jake. That’s why he’d sent Ax for me.’

at first, it seems like Rachel is on the same page as Jake, but when it becomes clearer later that Jake sent Ax specifically to get Rachel bc she could do the terrible thing that had to be done - instead of just bc they needed reinforcements and she was closest - then things change 

but even when Rachel gets rightfully upset later over this, you get the sense she still never really sees any option other than to kill David. it’s not even the ‘killing David’ part that upsets her, it’s that Jake, her cousin, immediately thinks of her as the person to do the deed 

so, another fantastic quote from Rachel - 

‘Tobias was dead. Jake might still die. And I was going to have to go after David. I was going to have to hunt him down.  I was going to hunt him down and destroy him.  No, not destroy. That was a weasel word. It was vague, meaningless. I was going to kill him.’

fucking WOW. like really. that bit right there is just perfect quintessential dark animorphs. it just subverts the classic kid-friendly phrasing, using words like ‘hunt down’ and ‘destroy’ instead of kill. But Rachel says it like it is. she’s not going to destroy David, she’s going to kill him. 

But then a few pages later, after Ax tells her the quote where Jake asks for her specifically - 

‘It definitely made me feel strange. Jake had called for me specifically. Because he wanted someone who would do precisely what I was planning to do.  Like I say, I’m not big on feelings, but something about that felt wrong.’

I say it a lot but wow do these kids need So Much Therapy. these are like...8th graders. jesus christ. when I was in 8th grade I was busy planning sims-playing get-togethers w/my fellow 13 year old friends. christ animorphs 

and fuck, the part where Rachel threatens David’s family, and shoves a fork in his ear? jesus. and the fact that Jake knew that Rachel was going to threaten David and let her go do it...

and then afterwards, Rachel says - 

‘I felt...not exactly ashamed. But I knew I never wanted to talk to Cassie about what I’d just told David. Or Tobias. Or even Marco.’

I'm gonna make some leaps here but I think it’s really interesting that Rachel even mentions Marco here, and says ‘or even Marco.’ like, the ‘even’ seems to imply that Marco would otherwise be somebody she WOULD talk to about something like this.

which...kinda tracks, tbh. Marco is Mr Ruthless, he’s a cold, pragmatic strategist when he isn’t cracking jokes as a coping mechanism. it makes sense that Rachel would talk to him about things like this - he would make jokes, but he’d also understand 

I'm just so interested in all the highly varying dynamics that exist within the group okay 

and then right after Rachel says - 

‘But I swear at that moment I hated Jake far more than I did David.  I should have told them all what had happened. But Jake already knew, didn’t he? Jake, the smart, determined leader, already knew all about me.’

that's fucking daaark okay. It paints this picture of Jake having become this master manipulator who knows all about Rachel’s violent tendencies and is using them to his full strategic advantage

Oh my god okay and then all the stuff w/Saddler, christ. I had completely forgotten about that plotline but there was so much fucked up stuff there, too

and the scene where Rachel gives some good life advice to her little sister, and it’s a good bit to remind the reader and characters of the world outside of animorphs conflict...and then David speaks up. 

that was such brutal mood whiplash, when you realize that David is morphed and hidden in Rachels room somewhere...fucking chilling 

that whole scene just oozes disgusting creepiness. David’s fixation on Rachel specifically, and his rage at being ‘bested’ by her, really feels like misogyny to me. while David butted heads w/Marco, you never got the same sense of anger and disgust that he displays towards Rachel.

and the line where he says ‘hey, enjoy your shower’ made me shudder in disgust. christ. there are a lot of revolting, dark implications there.

also, book 22 obviously does a ton of fantastic character work for Rachel, but it does the same for Jake, too. and Cassie, but ill get to that later

we get to see so much of Jake as a leader and a strategist here, and pitting him and Rachel against each other (so to speak) makes for some excellent characterization, like when Rachel starts questioning why he asked for her - 

“I thought David had killed Tobias. I thought he might kill me. I wanted...firepower.”  “I see. You wanted me for my morphs.” It was a good answer. It could have almost been true. 

and then we get a brief pit stop at the children's hospital where the fucked up parade continues - David morphed Saddler, Rachel and Jake’s injured/dying young cousin, and is pretending to be him, miraculously recovered from his accident

and meanwhile he DUMPED THE REAL SADDLER’S BODY DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. I literally cant, what the FUCK. 

and they never really follow up on it but the whole family and all the Drs think its this miraculous recovery against all odds, but then obviously David disappears and therefore so does Saddler - do they ever find his real body? how completely fucked up that must have been - so much worse than if saddler had just died from his injuries - the miraculous recovery completely overturned by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t even make sense to anybody except Jake and Rachel....

anyways, after all that completely fucked up bullshit, we have the Jake and Rachel confrontation, Jake’s whole speech about Rachel is amazing, but here are my highlights - 

“I think you’re the bravest member of the group. I think in a bad fight I’d rather have you with me than anyone else. But yeah, Rachel, I think there’s something pretty dark down inside you. I think you’re the only one of us who would be disappointed if all this ended tomorrow.”

I mean, christ. imagine your fellow 13 year old cousin saying this to you. oh MAN. and I love so much that Jake isn’t wrong, but he also is? he understands what Rachel will do, but not why she’s doing it. and I talked abt it before but Rachel has found herself in this box of ‘the brave/reckless blood knight,’ and feels pressure to live up to that reputation. 

so how much of it is a façade that she puts on bc she’s expected to, and how much of it is how she really feels? well, she got that reputation initially for a reason, but she gets pushed more and more in that direction as the series progresses, both bc of the unintentional pressure to live up to her role as the Xena of the group, and bc it’s really, really useful to have somebody like Rachel on your side

Then Rachel says -

‘I tried to look at myself the way Jake saw me. Was it true? Did I love this war?’

I'm gonna lose it, these poor fucking middle schoolers. Rachel, listen, you’re 13, you’re a child soldier, of course you don't love the war you’re fighting...I need every child therapist on the block to come here right now

like jesus being 13 is hard enough without all this nonsense. it’s such a tenuous time in development, and add something like this - someone like Rachel, who is somewhat pigeonholed by society as ‘vapid, pretty blonde who loves to shop’ would of course flourish in an environment where she gets to show how much of a 3-dimensional Person she is - she can love shopping and also kick ass! nice! but also, like, trauma. 

So then Rachel says this about Jake - 

“Jake, you’re a leader now. You make life-and-death decisions. All the time. You’ve learned to do that. And,” I added bitterly, “you’ve learned to use people. You use them for their strengths and their weaknesses.” 

Fucking read, wow. I feel like Rachel is absolutely correct here, if not simplifying things a lot. like, yes, Jake does make these unfathomable decisions on the regular, but he’s got tons of conflict over every single thing he does, and there was a lot of uncertainty and trial-and-error leading up to this. but she is correct that he’s learned, and is clearly a lot more comfortable in his role as a military leader now. 

I just love the contrast these two have. Rachel, with the burden she carries as the bravest - the fighter of the team, who must be relied on in battle and to do the things that nobody else will do - and Jake, the leader, who has to make decisions knowing that he could get his friends killed at any time, and still trust that they’ll listen. 

And then Jake says - 

“But everyone draws their own line[...] For example, see, I used to think my line was drawn at using my friend, my cousin, to do my dirty work. Guess that turned out not to be true. Sorry, Rachel.” 

And then they hug and vow to murder David together, as a team. Heartwarming cousin bonding! Again, so much therapy. 

So yeah I love that scene. especially when you take into consideration Rachel’s ultimate fate, and Jake’s part in it. excuse me while I go weep. 

Anyways, to the end. THE ENDING....it gets me every time. I’ll never be over it. I don’t remember much about animorphs from when I read it at age 11 but I really really remember the ending to book 22. The way they masterfully set David up, the rat morph, the pipes, THE LEGO, the reveal that they planned the entire thing, the moment when David realizes what’s going to happen to him....oof. It’s not something I could forget, even w/my notoriously horrible memory when it comes to media 

Also I feel like there was more subtle misogyny when David insists on humiliating/subjugating Rachel, just because she proved earlier that she was stronger and smarter and better than him...eugh David is just such a disgusting creep that you don’t even end up feeling bad for him even though he’s a middle schooler being handed a fate worse than death. I mean, he tossed a dead/dying kid’s body down an elevator shaft in a children's hospital. I’m pretty sure he deserves this. 

And here’s the part where I talk about Cassie. because even though she didn’t get a POV book in the David trilogy, she still got some brutally fantastic character development. here we see David starting to realize what’s happening - 

‘Cassie was crying.  David hadn't asked who the mastermind of the plan was. Who it was who had so accurately appraised his emotions, his need to build his ego, the fact that he would choose me to be his “companion.” Cassie, of course. Cassie had worked it out, step by step, after Jake and I had failed to come up with anything.  For Cassie, it was an improvement over the alternatives. See, no one was going to have to die.  But David’s life would end, just the same.’

CASSIE. The dark horse, except not really, bc this is perfectly in line with what we know about her, especially coming off book 19, her last POV book before this. in that book she makes some absolutely awful decisions, all to avoid having to kill somebody. 

After all of Jake and Rachel’s badass vows to take David down, it’s Cassie who finds the solution. 

To a lot of people, David’s fate could be considered worse than death. To Cassie, it’s a better alternative. That speaks volumes about her, and I love it. 

Also, the MANIPULATION. Cassie in the David trilogy really gets to flex her interpersonal manipulation skills, which I love to see. It’s such a fascinating aspect of her character; a really interesting use of empathy

Like the scene in book 20 where David freaks out as a roach and she manipulates him into not giving them away by pitting him against Marco, someone who David doesn’t get along with, by saying ‘if Marco can do it, can’t you?’ because she knows he’ll fall for it. And he DOES. 

And then the part in the cafeteria where she basically plays the ‘good cop’ to everyone else in the group’s ‘bad cop.’ Not ONLY does she manage to get David to shut up and listen to her, she also posits her theory that he wants to blue box to trade it for his parents - which his reactions to her questions confirms as true. and nobody else in the group suspected this. 

She lures him into a sense of security by talking kindly and quietly about how she understands how he feels, then hits him with what she knows and gets him to confirm it, which then allows Rachel to accurately threaten him. 

And then Cassie, offscreen, comes up with the entire plan on how to trap David as a rat, because from the beginning she had him figured out. David didn’t pay much attention to Cassie - more misogyny tbh, as Cassie is the girl on the team who isn’t an aggressive, feminine blonde - and that ended up being a huge reason for his downfall. 

David also didn’t pay much attention to Tobias, and clearly didn’t see him as human at all, and that made Tobias very valuable after David assumed he had killed Tobias. 

Ok, back to the ending - the fact that it was Rachel and Ax who stayed there to wait the two hours for David to become a nothlit....

Rachel says - 

‘Jake’s a good leader. He knows when to use us. He knows when to protect us. He knew he had to protect as many of his people as he could from what was going to happen.’ 

fucking brutal. TWO HOURS of listening to this awful kid beg and threaten and barter. I can’t even imagine. 

And Ax too! He gets overlooked a lot as an alien, and it’s probably true that all of this impacts him differently than the other human animorphs, it can’t be in any way pleasant to have to sit there for two hours and act as a living timer to count down this kid’s life. Ax is a kid, too, and an isolated one at that, being the only Andalite on the team. 

So yeah that scene is awful. Rachel even says - 

‘Two hours. But that two hours of horror will last forever in my mind. If I live a hundred years, I will still hear his cries, his threats, his pleading, each night before sleep takes me. And beyond sleep, in my dreams.’

I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but jesus christ, THEY NEED SO MUCH THERAPY. The fact that one of the constants in all of the POVs is the nightmares that all the animorphs consistently have....geez

Okay so I know in my last two liveblogs I ended them by comparing animorphs to another series - hxh and mtmte - but I honestly am drawing a blank for this...

I guess the only thing I can think of is to compare it to mob psycho 100, which is another very good, very subtly subversive series 

In mp100, the entire Point is that the very powerful psychic middle schoolers DON’T end up using their powers to fight life-or-death battles against adult enemies in order to save the world and whatnot. the Point is that that’s fucked up, and these kids shouldn’t be responsible for something like that, no matter how powerful they are 

and basically the character who says all that is Reigen, an adult who actively prevents the middle schoolers from joining what would be some very traumatizing fights 

basically my point here is less to compare the two shows and more to say - the poor animorphs could really use a Reigen huh. like, they seriously need an adult who’ll step in and say ‘wait a second, these kids are doing WHAT? hold the fucking phone, no way, get some actual adults in here to solve this shit. not today!’

the closest they could've come to an adult figure in their lives is Elfangor and he dies like 5 minutes after giving them superpowers, soooo....

man mp100 slaps I should rewatch it. anyways yeah the theme of this post is ‘the animorphs need therapy and also a stable adult figure in their lives to help them not get traumatized all the time’ thank you for coming to my ted talk

[tenkoscumslut]

Hawks x reader

Imma make this into a series where hawks kidnaps the reader >:3

Part 1

Warnings: Heavy abuse, mentions of trauma, self harm, alcohol, Hawks being a little bitch-, rape, pain, cheating, angst, hawks is not sangwoo btw.

Day was slowly rolling forth, you had spent all night watching anime’s once again, not even bothering to give into the desire of sleep. That was OK, as long as you could function properly nobody cared.

You sighed, leaning against the wall and staring at your phone. Texts between your boyfriend were still creeping into you, he had cheating with your mother. You let out a hefty sigh and wanted to throw your phone across the room and forget everything, forget life, pain and the burden of love.

You were about to submerge into a long session of questioning life when your boss called you. You had always found him odd, he would flex his big wings, eye you while he worked, his chest would puff up every time you walked by, but you just simplified it into his natural instincts.

You picked up the phone answering it with a happy Moshi Moshi. “Hey kiddo!”, he greeted back in a cheerful tone. You never really knew when he got your phone number, he just called you one night and you didn’t think anything of it.

“So I got something from you last night, a resignation later, Yeah?”, he asked. Your breath hitched for a second, you remember emailing him about having to quit due to personal reasons (your boyfriend), and you need some time to clear your head.

“Oh um yeah, something big happened a few days ago and I don’t feel well enough to work”, you mumbled softly. “Is that so?”, he coped, “well then, know I’m here I’d you need to talk to anyone”. And with that weird offer, the call ended. Hawks reminded you of that uncle who would hug you just a bit to lowly, or a teacher who always sat jusg a bit to close to you.

Day slowly trudged by, empty ice cream containers lay on your coffee table, followed by dried up tissues. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying for hours at a time, right now you were in absolutely in no mood for anyone to talk or even approach you.

When your phone rang you were ready to reek hellfire upon everything and everyone. It was your mother no less, the one who was destroying your relationship. When you picked up the phone to cuss her out, she cut you off with “my relationship with you boyfriend does not concern you, stop fucking weeping and grow the fuck is”. The rage you feel was going straight towards your mother.

After a long fight you were drained, emotionally drained, mentally drained, physically drained. You weren’t able to lift yourself from the couch for the rest of the night.

The next morning rolled around, you were awoken to your doorbell ringing. You groaned, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes to no avail, you still looked like a sleep deprived teenager who lives off of Monster and chocolate. You walked to the door, looking through the peephole, only seeing black.

You narrowed your eyes, Shoyo, your friend, had covered up your door in a large drawing including the peephole. You opened the door slightly, almost yelping in surprise when you saw your ex boss standing in front of your door.

Wait how did he know your address?.

Ah he probably found it through paperwork. You mumbled a small high, he smiled and waved a hello, there was a tiny wrapped gift in his hands, “how ya doing kid?”, he asked. “Mhh ok”, you hummed, leaning on the door slightly. “Can I come in?”, he asked.

You liked back, frowning when you saw your entire house to be a dump, “uhm, right now isn’t a good time”, you mumbled, scanning over the heap of literal tissues on the couch. You turned around a retailer smile showing up on your face.

His wings bristled slightly, “ah it’s ok”, he said but his voice was different, almost hostile. The mean cover soon faded, “well I just came here to drop this off, you can come anytime to pick your stuff up!”, he chirped happily. Your smile stayed on, “thank you Hawks”.

He smiled, handing you the small gift, you sent him off with a thank you. One he left you sighed and leaned against the door, staring at the mess in front of you. The first step to becoming better was to try and fix up your life.

You started to clean, throwing the tissues and buckets of ice cream away, then cleaning your couch, living room, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom. It wasn’t to hard since your apartment was pretty clean before your huge fit.

After a few hours your apartment was once again shining and you were getting ready to get a drink or just walk around in the park to try and clear your mind.

~~~

Once at the park the sun was warm and bright, th small pond was so beautiful glimmering under the sun kissed rays. There was a small coffee in your hand, knowing that you were safe here was comforting and nice. A small shadow formed behind you, a weird shape.

“Surprise!”, someone squealed, you turned around ready to sucker punch the person. You sighed in relief, it was just Hawks. You were surprised, the chances of running into such a busy man on a work day was beyond slim.

“H-Hey Hawks”, you mumbled happily, he grinned, “what a coincidence, you being here, and me being here?”, he laughed happily. You smiled, “yeah...”, your voice trialed off when you heard some comotion from behind him. A woman and man were fighting, badly.

Oh fuck. It was your mother and father, fighting over some relationship stuff. “Hey, do you mind if we talk somewhere else?”, you asked, “sure songbird!”, he chirped and set off to another place. Relief washed over you, and you followed him down the street.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter One.

Fake Fiancé/Husband Wanted!

Yes, I know the request looks weird, but I can explain. I work a high demanding job so I can't have custody of my child unless I marry someone with regular hours and a regular nanny on call. I have the nanny, but she is a uni student and can't be here at odd hours. After gaining custody and getting a job with normal hours I am willing to pay you or we can talk about divorce settlements. Preferably someone with a stable job and a liking towards kids. If you have a child, they are welcome to live here too obviously and I will treat them like my own for the foreseeable future. Serious inquiries only, please contact me via email I have made specifically for this.

Thank you.   Louis didn't know why he was on craigslist at three in the morning after drinking himself to death's door knowing Freddie was safe with Zayn for the night. He knew that when he was drunk, he tended to do stupid things and think stupid things. He had been on this post for almost an hour staring at it knowing damn well how stupid and dangerous replying was. That didn't stop him from clicking on the email and typing out a reply. 

To Stranger,

My name is Louis Tomlinson I am a single father of a four-year-old boy. I work as a dramatic arts teacher at Abraham Moss Community. Not the best paying job, but nowhere in your post did you have a minimum annual income requirement. Despite the horrible pay I do love my job and I work at this school for free childcare at the nursery across the street my son goes to. I would like to know a bit more information about you wanting custody before I agree to such a thing. You hear so many stories about fathers taking kids to be spiteful, so I want to be sure that is not the reason.

Louis

****   It was two days later when Louis got a reply from the mysterious guy. He waited until his lunch break before he read it.  

Louis,

You are the first normal person who has shown interest in anything that wasn't money related. For that reason, I really hope we hit it off. I love my daughter so much; she is my absolute world and I video call her every day. It's not me that is the bad parent and I say this as nicely as I can, but her mother is a very absent and selfish parent, and it shows. It's funny you work where you do, my daughter is in Year 1 there.

I gave her mother the money for private school, but she spent it on a new wardrobe for herself and didn't even spent a dime on out daughter. So, she goes to Abraham. I have receipts and check copies, and everything is to prove that I am the 'fit' parent. I have tried to avoid court, but I haven't been able to have my daughter for more than a few hours in over a year. Now her mother is talking about movie to America if her boyfriend gets the promotion at the end of the twelve-month training which just began a month ago. I have a hearing in a few weeks for visiting rights so hopefully if you are still willing after hearing how much drama this will involve, we can talk about everything in person before then.

Your son Freddie, what's his custody like? He is welcome here anytime and if he lives with you full time that's amazing. Obviously, kids make this a bit more delicate, but all the more reason to see if we can try to be something more along the way? We'll discuss this more another time of course, but reply as soon as you are able to and maybe we can get coffee?

 Your (maybe) future husband.

  Louis smiled softly reading about how much the guy loved his daughter. He seemed to want the best for her, and her mother seemed to just want money. He heard about those people and he could honestly say he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe people put themselves first over their own child. Louis had three-year-old winter boots with the soles so worn out that the snow seeped into his socks, but his son always needed new boots every winter and he'd be damned if his son were in pain over too tight shoes because Louis bought a pair of boots for himself. Louis pressed the reply button and wrote a quick response.  

My future husband,

She sounds like the devil. I'd be happy to help you if you don't/haven't found anyone better. I have the same lunch hour every Monday through Friday from 11-12 and there's a small coffee shop around the corner I can make it to for the hour. Then my best my mate has Freddie a weekend a month and then me mum has Freddie for another weekend. Usually it goes me mum, myself, best mate, and myself again. So, to make this believable we have two weekends to have "been together". Freddie is mine solely, I'm a carrier so I had him, and his other father ran out a few months after he was born. Ran off with a younger boy without a child and without a scar on his stomach. Let me know when you're available for that coffee.

Louis

  ***********   Harry emailed only three people Louis, Matthew, and Brian. Matthew and Brian didn't have kids, but they said they liked them. Matthew kept asking about his monthly income which he kept avoiding and Brian asked how big he was and if sex was involved. Harry wouldn't say no to sex of course, but to ask someone's size. He ended up blocking him when he got a dick pic. Matthew then asked how much the wedding would total up to and if they were wearing designer suits, so he ended up blocking him as well. Louis was interested in his reason of doing this and he had a child so knew how real this had to be for kids. He knew what it meant to be a full-time parent and put the kid first. So, he was so far the best candidate and he never even asked about his job or finances. So, after checking his schedule he emailed him and told him he'd be able to meet Thursday during his lunch at the café he knew Louis was talking about.   He got off a rare 38-hour shift Thursday at ten, so it gave him time to make it to the school for a quick minute to see Maddison. He walked into the building still in his pink scrubs and lab coat on as well, but that was because he hadn't taken it off so use to having it on all the time. He headed up to the front desk smiling at Amy.   "Hey Amy, is Maddison available for just a minute? I know she's in art right now."   "She is, however, she's over at the other side in Mr. Tomlinson's room. He's her favorite teacher and she goes there every art class and sometimes when her mother is late for pickup, he stays with her. I can take you to his room."   "Louis Tomlinson?" Harry questioned not believing it for a second   "Well, she calls him Mister Tommy."   "Oh that's- no kidding yeah she told me about him. He gives her candy whenever she gets a good score on her writing or reading." Harry said grinning   "That's him. He seems to be everyone's favorite. I'll take you to him-"   "No, it's okay. Can you just tell her I stopped by? I don't want to disturb her."   "Are you sure?"   "Yeah, it's fine. Thank you, Amy." Harry left the building and headed to his Murano. He waited in the parking lot for a little while as he went through their emails over the past few days. Harry had told Louis his name and that he worked as a doctor. He wanted to get into neonatal care, he already had the training and everything he needed there just hadn't been an opening yet, but the hospital was expanding their Neonatal Ward and Harry had already talked to his higher ups about working there. When he finally got to the cafe, he was only a few minutes later because he got lost in his own head in the parking lot. Harry got out of the car and headed inside up to the front desk. Louis' Gmail account had a picture of himself so when he looked around the cafe it was easy to spot Louis sitting at a booth as he looked down at his phone. Harry grabbed his cup and headed to the booth nervously then set the mug down and slid into the other side. Louis looked up from his phone and smiled.   "Hey." Harry said   "Hi. Sorry I was texting one of the nursery staffs about Freddie. He had a rough night last night so he's having a bad day today."   "Is he okay? Bad dream or something?" Harry asked concerned   "He has a problem of staying asleep, we live in the apartment complex and our upstairs neighbors stay up all night yelling at their game system."   "Melatonin. My mom swears by it when I was a toddler. I had to give mine some when she refused a nap even though she was exhausted a few years ago." Harry told him   "They have melatonin for kids?"   "Yeah, definitely get some for him if he wakes up at odd hours of the night. Also, you know my daughter."   "I do? I know a few Year 1, but not a lot. Who is she?" Louis asked   "Maddison Styles." Louis eyes widen and he grinned   "Yeah, I was just with her. She comes to see me every Tuesday and Thursday during her art class. She has a hard time concentrating in the room, so I took her to mine. I have a free period anyway, so I don't mind."   "Yeah, she's too much like me. Her and I have a sensory overwhelm with too much noise. We also have dyslexia, terrible dyslexia, mine is controlled most of the time now, but she's not doing so good with her reading or writing because she doesn't get at home help."   "Yeah, I figured that out when she wrote her name as Mabbison or Wappison more than a few times." Louis said grinning making Harry laugh nodding   "I had to get five different papers for her birth signing because I was so emotional when I was spelling her name, I messed it up. My mom had to take me to a quiet room and call me down before letting me write again. If was horrible. My patients look at my writing and I can see their confusion build as they try to decipher my spelling." Louis laughed covering his mouth with his hand, "anyway um I know this was meant to be a casual meeting to make sure we're not pedophiles or murders or whatever, but I did bring some copies of things just in case you want to see it. I'm not trying to make her out to be a horrible person, these are just some of the things I had copies of at home."   "Oh, now that I know you're Madison's dad and having met her mother I agree with you. She's a horrible person. I hate her. Today for example Maddison came to school in a dress without a jacket and without leggings. She was freezing, the school wasn't letting kids inside yet, so I let her in the side door to my classroom and gave her some of Freddie's sweatpants I keep in my car. Poor thing is in 3t sweatpants that stop at her shins."   "I have black leggings and a jacket in my car if you can give them to her. I always keep a small totes of season clothes for her just in case anything happens. Usually, the school calls me and tells me if something like this happens and usually, I'm at work so I have to ask someone to bring them for her. A few days ago, her teacher called me and told me Maddie came to school in dirty clothes and when I got there Maddie was in the nurses’ station crying. Apparently, her mother hadn't washed her clothes and that was all she had there. I called her as soon as I left the school and told her is, she didn't wash my daughter's clothes by the end of the day I'd report her to child services. Needless to say, that hasn't happened again, but September hasn’t even ended yet so who knows."   "Yeah, I can take them to her. I don't see how a parent can do such a thing. I always wash Freddie's clothes first then I do his bed sheets then I do the towel then I do my clothes and bedsheets last."   "Yeah, I wash her stuff at my house every two weeks so if I get her out of the blue, she has clean clothes and sheets."   "How long has it been since you last had her?"   "Her mother dropped her off at the hospital when I was working a few weeks ago but she came back right as my shift ended. Maddie was so upset because she thought she'd be able to stay the night. The last time I've had her over night was 16 months ago and I had for her two days because her mother and boyfriend were at a resort for the weekend."   "I couldn't imagine that." Louis said shaking his head, "Freddie is my world. I couldn't be separated from him. I barely manage a weekend away."   "So, does he call you Papa? I know that's the more traditional term for carriers."   "Yeah, most of the time. If he's upset, he'll call me mommy or mama. I am one of the lucky ones able to nurse, at least with Freddie. I heard some can't for their second child or third child. I think with every child the chances get lower. He called me mommy or mama until he was two and a half, so I think it brings him comfort. I don't mind either way."   "That's sweet. I wish I were a carrier. My sister and I had to play mommies and aunties instead of mommies and daddies because I always wanted to be the mommy. I'd shove the baby doll under my shirt and go through labor with my stepdad and everything. My mom held the seat rag to my forehead. We went all out, I demanded it. We were all convinced I was a carrier, then when I was seventeen, I  got tested and I wasn't. I was devastated. I cried so much; I remember convincing myself I was straight for years after that. That's how I got Maddison." Louis laughed unable to help himself   "You're joking."   "No. Not one bit. I thought if I wasn't a carrier there was no point in being gay, so I went straight."   "I was the complete opposite." Louis said, "I was always the daddy, I'm the oldest of five sisters and my mom finally gave me a brother a year ago. Two sets of twins. I demanded to be daddy because I didn't think I was a carrier. I thought I was straight until probably sixteen."   "Really?"   "Yeah, I just never really thought about it, I guess. My first boyfriend was when I was seventeen and we dated until he left after Freddie. I had him when I was twenty on March twenty-first and graduated early. He's turning five next year."   "You had him in school and finished your studies early?"   "Yeah, it was really hard, the first year was terrible, but I got my degree and took the first job I was offered that had the best benefits for us as a family."   "That's amazing. We had Maddison when I was in my foundation programme. I was twenty-four. She was born on May twentieth, so she'll be six two months after Freddie turns five. I started working at twenty-six. Hannah and I split then because I had to work so many night shifts, so she started cheating while I slept during the day. She took Maddie and left. We've been fighting since."   "So, you're thirty?"   "Almost thirty. Still in my twenties for four more months."   "Can't relate. Still got a few years." Louis said smirking making Harry throw a walled-up napkin at him. "Well, you look good for thirty." Louis teased   "Twenty-nine."   "Same thing." Louis said grinning as he watched Harry shake his head grinning as he stared off to the side before their eyes met. Louis knew that even if nothing came from this marriage besides Harry gaining his daughter, it wouldn't be a horrible marriage of convenience. Which made him feel better and he could tell Harry was relieved as well, both glad this wouldn't be a disaster.

 “I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me.” Harry said, “Especially considering how this came to be. I mean I know you see Maddie with her mom, so you understand some of it, but if you want to ask more feel free to do so.”

 “Besides the obvious reasons why go to craigslist?” Louis asked

 “Last resort? It had to be someone my friends didn’t know so I couldn’t ask anyone at the hospital. I tried dating, but it never went past a few texts. Having a daughter that I want full custody of sort of makes men run away. They don’t understand why I can’t just get a weekend a month and be happy with it. I’ve tried explaining the situation, but they don’t get it. Then it’s also my odd hours of my schedule. I’m a doctor at the hospital so I’m off and on and on call a lot. Makes it hard. My schedule is pretty tame, but it’s a pain to get use to and stuff like that.” Harry explained

 “Yeah, I get that. With Freddie…he’s my priority and obviously before I fully agree to anything, he has to like you too, but that can wait a bit. Make sure you’re not a weird murderer or something.”

 “Fair enough.” Harry said chuckling, “So I guess um…why did you offer to help? I know with a son this makes it more delicate, I mean obviously I’m hoping once we settle in, we can try for something real, but why offer?”

 “Any parent who wants to see their child should be able to. I would help anyone who was sincere enough. If you were one of those fathers trying to take their child away from their mother out of pettiness then I’d walk out of this building, but I’ve met Hannah. I’ve seen, I’ve seen the clothes she drops her daughter off in while she’s wearing the newest Gucci purse or whatever. I’ve been talking to school about it since the first day, but there isn’t much we can do. We can record it and file it away incase you ever need it for court, but unless she comes to school with bruises or starving, we don’t have grounds to call child services.”

 “So, Freddie’s other father?”

 “If he ever contacted me, I’d let him see Freddie. I’d talk to Freddie about it first, make him go to the first meeting and if he didn’t want to see him after that? I don’t know. Freddie has asked and I told him the truth, that his other father left a few weeks after he was born. So, it’d be Freddie’s chose after the first meeting and anyone I see would obviously at least respect that. They don’t have to like it or agree with it.”

 “I think people can change if the right person comes along. I hope for Freddie’s sake he contacts you a better man than when he left, but I also hope that if he hasn’t changed that he doesn’t drag Freddie into daddy issues.” Louis cracked a smile and nodded

 “Me too. They’re not fun.”

 “No not really. My biological dad left leaving my mom to feed two kids on one minimum wage paycheck. My stepdad came along and changed our lives basically.”

 “My biological father left when I was born. My stepdad came along and gave me his last name so he’s my dad. Then he and my mom split, and mom is married to Dan now. She just had twin girl and boy two years ago in February.”

 “Awe really? That’s sweet. I’m the youngest out of two kids. I have an older sister.”

 “I’m the oldest of seven kids. Goes me, my sisters Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy are twins then Doris and Ernest are twins and my baby sister and my only baby brother.”

 “That’s a lot of sisters.”

 “Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of handling little girls. I was six when Lottie came around, so I’ve been through it all.”

 “Well then I won’t stop Maddie from painting your nails a pretty pink color when I can’t be her victim in her nail salon. If she’s still into that stuff.” The last part was said sadly as he looked away

 “She is. If she’s done with her art assignment early, then I let her color my nails with markers. It washes off by lunch, but she doesn’t need to know that. She’s great. She is one of my favorite students in that school, whenever we see each other in the halls she absolutely has to shout hi Mr. Tommy each time. My students probably think she’s my niece or something. They call me Mr. T all the time and try to encourage her to do the same however I think she’s too shy to.” Harry was grinning as he played with his napkin listening to him

 “She’s very social. Always has been. There probably isn’t a stranger in the world she wouldn’t talk to. It’s a bad and good thing. I’ve tried to explain it to her, stranger danger and everything and she understands it, but I don’t think she realizes even a little hi can be dangerous in this world these days. Her mother scares me to death, I’ve seen Maddie run right upfront of cars sometimes and I swear my heart stops.”

 “Yeah, I’ve seen her do it too and it’s always the arrival or departure teacher stopping her from getting hit. Hannah will walk her to the crossing way but not to the actual sidewalk so it’s not the easiest thing to watch when I’m on duty. We can’t leave our posts except for emergencies so I have to navigate kids and cars and then watch her and make sure she’s safe. It’s ridiculous sometimes.”

 “Well thank you for doing what you can.”

 “It’s not much, but of course. I’d do it for any kid. Just thinking about Freddie in the same situation I would probably do the same thing you are. So, for now I’ll help, Freddie is what will be the deciding factor.”

 “We’ll talk more and figure it out?”

 “Yeah of course. I should go though I need to get back early today. I forgot today is Pop quiz day, my kids are going to hate me.”

 “Don’t worry about it. Thank you, Louis.” Harry and Louis stood up and walked out together, “My number is in the file I gave you so feel free to text me instead of emailing me if you want to.”

 “Alright. Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”

 “Bye.” Harry and Louis were luckily enough to have parked on opposite ends of the car park, so they didn’t have to awkwardly walk beside each other to go to their respected cars. Harry grinned as he looked at the picture of Maddie, he stole off her mother’s Facebook. It was on her fifth birthday party; one he hadn’t been invited to or hadn’t even been told about. She was dressed in a flowy baby blue dress and her hair curled and she was half smiling as she sat on a chair surrounded by a few presents. He touched the picture that was hanging about his rear-view mirror before he sighed sadly and let it fall from his fingers before he started his Murano and headed out of the car park.