#I will make it
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Girls don’t want boys, girls want the funky outfit Vax’ildan has in Vox Machina Origins
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28 more work days. i can make it through 28 more work days. i am near tears in my office rn but i only have to do this 28 more times.
#personal#7 weeks to go#4-5 weeks until i can tell them im leaving#i will make it#this job will not be the end of me
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24.08.2024
I'm in total Renovation Feminine Rage (you know planning and buying everything for a new place with aesthetics in mind). Also kinda stressed out, but holding onto God.
I realized lately what is more hardcore than feeling all the possible negative emotions at once, all the time.
Feeling ALL the possible emotions all at once all the time. Seriously, name any emotion, positive or negative (or pleasant vs unpleasant if you'd rather call them that way) - I am feeling it. And it makes a person afraid that they will just combust all of sudden because it seems a little too much.
So if I stop blogging suddenly, you can assume that I combusted spontaneously, exploded, imploded, and basically nothing left except some atoms drifting aimlessly here and there. 🤷♀️
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Fading Frequencies
I named my first album this, and there's reason behind it, obviously. The whole concept of the album is how I endured such a painful heartbreak and got over it. The day I will be completely over it, I will know I won one of the biggest fights of my life. Some people really walk into your life to teach you things about yourself, you were not aware of, qualities that you possess. I am so tough, that I would just suddenly stop feeling anything but sheer hate for this person is surprising because of the way I loved them, but this didn't develop. Their actions compounded for months and blasted today. I will be really fortunate to win this battle because I honestly invested myself into it, I worshipped them and surrendered myself, and now I feel such a fool for doing it. They didn't even deserve so much that I wasted on them, I was never respected, never appreciated or loved. Everything that happened was fake and just an act put by them. No one who loves you honestly can go ahead and sleep with other people immediately, and do things that broke the relationship in the first place - so what did they learn from it? Nothing. They didn't care to stop or to understand anything for them their own loser behavior was important and later on come out and pretend so much of healing and self-care while being a fucking pornstar. Really impressive progress made.
I can finally feel the frequencies fading, and all of their stupid actions that they are so desperately attempting to mentally break down doesn't even affect me at all. I laugh and ignore it all the time, they didn't realize I'm made up of experiences that have shaped me ina way that none of their crap can break me down. All her moans and crap are doing nothing more than progressing my hatred towards her. I swear, I hate her already so much and I don't know how boldly this is gonna progress. I did everything I could, and I feel I should have cut this off even before the first trip, or I should have not picked up her call on the second trip and ended it forever. She showed me time and again that she is not worthy of the love, care, and admiration I so freely gave her, while she couldn't offer the bare minimum or even tried to reconcile. I embarrassed myself in the process of putting in efforts that were supposed to come from their end. I even found out the number and texted them and the way they ignored me - more progress to my hate. "People who understand my silence love me", Heck no I don't understand your silence anymore because even if you're silent your actions tell otherwise." Not anymore. You do you, you showed me what you care about more. And I got my answer and I will forever hate you till I die. I swear I will because that's what you deserve from me at least. You have done everything to push me to this point otherwise I don't think so I would have ever stopped loving you. You made me feel how easy I was to just let go without any explanation. You showed me I am not worthy of taking a chance on - well for you. Someone who will see my worth will swim oceans for me. I will wait, but not loiter around everywhere like you. My soul, heart, body, and mind is intact and only focused on growth. I changed my habits for you and made a vow to myself that i will never lay a hand on you again, and heal all your trauma with my love, but well I have my answer now and its deeply engraved in my heart. I hope you see me everywhere and never be able to find because for you your nymphomania, pride, ego, selfishness and lack of self control mattered more than me. And that's what I needed to hate you forever because I did the exact opposite, to an extent where I wasn't even myself. You deserve all the pain, misery and tears. You have inflicted endless pain to me and I will stand firm and fly higher in my life, not affected from you at all. Goodbye and good riddance.
#journal#diary#healing#happysoul#life is beautiful#love#narcissistic ex#passion#literature#moving on#heartbreak#lost love#fake love#i hate you#short poem#poems on tumblr#aethestic#artists on tumblr#suffering#i will make this happen#i will make it#on my way
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Turnabout Ema Dropkicks a Child (Very real and true thing that happens in hit game Apollo Justice)
#help#spoilery tag rant incoming#halfway through the 3rd case and I am going insane over the way she treats the child characters in this game /lh#EMA ON HER WAY TO ACCUSE A BLIND ORPHAN OF MURDER LIKE??????#SHE CALLED TRUCY STUPID AND A TEMPTRESS I AM ON THE FLOOR SHE HAS BEEF WITH THIS 15 YEAR OLD#on THAT note if we don’t get a Bonding Experience between Trucy and Ema I’m going to fight capcom#I want Ema to say at least ONE (1) nice thing to her PLEASE CAPCOM#ugh but I absolutely adore what theyve done with Ema in this game she’s sosososoososo grumpy <33 my little scrumbly screebus <333#also having her sleeves rolled up why is she so cunty I would die for her actually#but please manifesting Trucy & Ema bonding experience I need them to be sibbing actually and if it DOESNT happen#I will MAKE IT#somehow#ema skye#ace attorney#aj:aa#shitpost
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I HAVE A DATE FOR MY MA THESIS DEFENCE
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one day. one day when I will loose my senses completely,. I will compile all of my Nine thoughts into a cohesive script for a video. and
#one day#i will make it#im sure#that and the nine playlist are gonna be the only videos Ill ever make#but ill make them
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idk I’m bored
art requests are open bc I said so
I will draw
Almost anything just not too complicated
I will NOt draw
NSFW
fetishes
anything heat related (ex: against a religion)
:]
#my art <3#art requests#art requests are open#meme#fnaf#five nights at freddys movie#i will be a skeleton#i will make it#i will make art#Idk
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“i want to be great or nothing”
#i will make it#i will be a musician#or kms#perfection#perfectionism#fame#famous#successmindset#successful#ifsomebodyislovingyou#girlblogging#little women
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i don't know how I am going to make it this week with the amount of work I have to do.
#really out here compromising my academic career and my future#likeeeee ugh#i will make it#alsooo live streaming Castaway Diva and ahhhh i want to watch it#maybe i will caved in
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Hmmm, now what can I start tonight?
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almost 7 weeks in, watched 300 episodes. Currently in the Enies Lobby arc. cannot believe I enjoyed every single arc so far. (except maybe those two christmas/new year special episodes that completely disrupted the main story happening lol)
and also those recap episodes that only show how the straw hats all joined up were so unnecessary I literally JUST watched all of this happen
BUT OTHERWISE I'M REALLY ENJOYING EVERYTHING
I wasn't sure if I was gonna like Franky, but he's hilarious and I respect his "no pants" approach to life
ONTO THE NEXT 100
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i am really struggling and i dont know how to ask for help and i dont even know what help would look like and i cant even articulate what im feeling its just all too much!
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If I wasn't sure if I'd make it, now I know I will.
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