#I will also say that the reason he beat venomous was 100% because it was a pairs bracket and cartoon bh was paired with Asterion

[shanedoesdoodles]

I have found that there exists a tumblr sexyman bracket (that I. Don't actually believe was hosted on tumblr??) Where venomous lost to Cartoon Beetlejuice.

Now, as someone who has watched both shows, to completion, I have to say

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT NASTY BEETLE FUCKER COME WITHIN 80FT OF A SEXYMAN POLL-

[the-firebird69]

Venom Lycan | 250cc Chopper | LF250D | Harley Chopper Motorcycle – Venom Motorsports USA

This is $3,500 which isn't bad it's a 250cc and it has like 17 horsepower it goes like 85 and you can tweak it and stuff put a new top end on make it it turns into a 317cc and it'll go about 95 to 100 mph and it's only like 100 bucks or less to do the change and the bike is nice it really is not bad it's got a quality brake system and quality motor and things like that it's air cool to go for an hour you need to put it liquid cool jacket and I'll go for 2 hours or so which is pretty far 120 mi or so and that's really typical for motorcycles a regular ninja 750 will go about 200 mi maximum for start some meltdown a lot of people will probably buy this it's not a bad deal if you're heavier you need more power ful heartache for Christ's sake save yourself the heartache when you go online buy the cooling jacket right away it might even be online at this particular website we don't know we think so they have everything there's a problem though not with the bike...

They only let you buy a few at a time like three if you want to make a deal they talk to you it might sell you 300 a month it's a wasted damn time no one can even make money on it and it won't sell you millions definitely not billions and not even thousands and they don't even do it in China they really don't unless you want to make a fleet deal and a lot of my companies don't do that but it's so you won't take the business there's nothing that says a whole bunch of people can't order them but then you can't get parts in the USA so it's not reliable if you have money to throw away you want to drive around for a couple years it's not bad.

We do have something to say about it it sucks it feels the need a little so people don't go out and do it we've been putting up with this Fair long time and it really sucks it's horrible our son had an idea just to keep buying the bikes and disassemble them but then they would not send anymore and they don't mean about that for some reason who knows why they don't want you to succeeds so we are working on making our own they found parts and he's having actually Hera is going to have them assemble them she said she's working on it now they're opening it up and he suggested he move it and she said that's not a bad idea so she's got the stuff out of there and they're going to make a few and they like the idea she's taller than what it is and it's good there's also other things happening but we're going to make a few of these and it's not for like a million each so we said it's really only but it'll make a difference and people would see the difference and it would be nice bike the motor is American it was made by a small motor company it was in the Midwest and they didn't make that many it didn't work too good but the motor works pretty good 49cc has a lot of kick to it so we're going to throw that in the package try and get it approved but we want to make him and drive around and show people what they can do it's a hoot okay it's just like a regular motorcycle it's almost safer we have a safety rating it has is higher because it's lighter and we'll talk about that for a while till it gets going

Thor Freya

Olympus

That's right it's my project and I'm telling you what I'm going to go ahead with this I see your ideas get the stuff moving out assembly what they have and then what and then ask the guys and we'll run some routines some maneuvers and I get that and now we can tell if they're brand new or not and I want to do that I want to get it going and I want to work on this too the Indian electric children's BMX motorcycle and he wants me to do it and I'm going to do it and ben Arnold wants to do it. So he says he's going to get Ben Arnold a dollar if his racer Jason beats bja with an Indian electric motorcycle and so he's going to do it and he knows what it means.

I'm going to get Ben and Arnold same guy a Dollar too had a computer is giving us crap here sort of really people are messing with us

Hera

We see it and we do see what you're saying there's a time for this and that and these people don't know what they're doing it's going to be lights out but we'll have new figures the end of the day

Olympus

[thewritetofreespeech]

Oooooo could I get the Brothers and the Undatables.... turned datable....reaction to MC crying after being stood up by a guy?

Obey me Boys + Dealing with an MC who has been stood up HCs

Lucifer

Knew you were going out, since you had to ask for permission to leave, and was surprised you were back so early.

He was confused when he found you crying and tries to get you to explain. Expecting the worst.

It’s not as bad as he imagined, thinking you’ve been physically hurt, but still not great. 

He also can’t stand such poor manners

Offers to have the man eviscerated for you. Which you laugh at thinking it’s a joke, but it’s really not

Goes to find this mystery man, once you’ve gone to bed, and have a stern conversation with him about manners....

Mammon

Against you going out in the first place. Why do you need to see some other guy?!?! You have the Great Mammon!

Goes to your room to see what was so great about this guy, only to find you crying when you tell him he stood you up

Livid. There are no other words for it.

First you ditch him to spend the afternoon with this jerk. Then his creep has the nerve to stand you up! Has he never met you!?

Threatens to go find him, but when you tell him no he sits back down.

Ponders on calling in some favors though. Being a gambling scumbag in his off time, does have a few less than scrupulous people who owe him some favors. They’d break his legs just for fun.

Levi

Being the Avatar of Envy, his base level when it comes to things is to be jealous of others. Especially when it comes to you.

Of course, he understands why you’d want to go out with a supposedly attractive normie, rather than stay in his otaku hidey hole with him. But it still stings. 

When you come back, all red faced and crying, he’s upset for you, but doesn’t know what to do.

Should he go defend your honor? Is hugging appropriate? Should have give you a special high five?

Let’s you come into the safe space of his otaku hidey hole and cry it out and lets you watch all the soft anime, or play as many hack & slash video games, you want until you feel better. 

Secretly happy that that guy stood you up so he can be your knight in shining armor, but feels bad about feeling good about it.

Satan

Notices something is wrong when you get back, but doesn’t say anything

He waits until you’re in private to ask. Not want to make a scene like his idiot older bothers.

When you tell him, near on the verge of tears, he gets so angry

Anger is something he is very used to, being the Avatar of Wrath. But this is the first time it’s been so focused and so venomous of a deep hatred. A rage he could do something with.

Tries to keep it under control and to himself, when you beg him not to do anything rash, but finds it hard.

Goes to some secret place to let his anger & magic out secretly and safety. Only for the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt you with it.

Asmo

Initially excited for you. He has dates all the time, but knows your each others favorites :3

When you come home so early, Asmo is confused what happened. Then even more confused that you’ve been stood up. He’s not familiar with the concept.

After you tell him what happened he’s shocked! Who could possibly stand you up?! His beautiful [Y/N]!

Would hug and console you, and tell you that he’s an idiot and ugly, and that there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Decides that that’s no reason to waste a good outfit, and takes you out clubbing to dance your sorrows away.

Find 100 other boys to tell you your pretty and make you feel good about yourself, because that jerk is not important

Beel

Disappointed you’re going out with someone else. But, he’s never said anything to you so he can’t be that mad.

Runs into you in the kitchens, since you’ve snuck in the back so no one can see you, he’s surprised to find you and more surprised to see you crying

After you tell him you’ve been stood up, he’s furious. It take a lot to get Beel mad. But anything happening to you is probably the #1 way to get him there.

Wants to beat the hell out of that guy. Those muscles aren’t just for show.

Reframes, and uses those big strong arms to wrap you in a hug instead

Tell you not to worry about it. That that guy is dumber than he is to stand you up, and makes you a sundae to help you feel better.

Belphie

Had been giving you the silent treatment since he found out you were going out with someone else. He’s upset about it, but won’t be juvenile enough to tell you that. This is way more mature.

Goes downstairs in the middle of the night, after waking up from his 10th and latest nap of the day, and hears you crying.

You tell him what happened, that were stood up, and Belphie tells you ‘I told you so’.

He hugs you, and takes this opportunity to remind you that no one will love you like he will. So you should just stay here always.

It does feel nice to be appreciated.

He tucks you into bed to get some sleep and you never hear from that guy again. Belphie says he won’t bother you again, but there’s something about the way he said it that was more ominous than reassuring.

Solomon

He had no opinion when you told him. You’re not his, damnit all, so he can’t say anything about it.

It’s not until after that he gives you a piece of his mind. Hindsight is 20/20 so he tells you all the things he doesn’t like about the guy in one fall swoop.

Solomon does feel bad that you’ve been hurt though. It’s a terrible feeling to be neglected or abandoned.

Offers to hex the holy hell out of the guy for you

He won’t have a moments rest without stinging pain. Or break out in boils. His house will catch fire or fall on top of him like in the Wizard of Oz.

You tell him know, but the thought is appreciated. He instead uses his magic for good in creating a soothing potion to heal your damaged ego. Still up for the house thing though.

Simeon

Would hate to admit it, but he’s jealous you’re going out with someone else. It’s a terrible feeling for an angel to feel.

He’s surprised, more than anything, when you show up to Purgatory Hall in tears. Then sympathetic when you tell him what happened.

He’d see you into his sitting room and make you some Celestial Tea

Simeon would try to comfort you as much as he could, assuring you that it’s not all that bad and that you’re better off without someone like that.

He knows they are just words. They can’t heal you instantly. But he does hope they help a little.

He makes a point to check in on you every day after, either in person at classes or via text, until you’re back to normal.

Diavolo

He has no right to be jealous of you being escorted to a party at the castle by someone else. Being the Prince of the Devildom, he certainly couldn’t do it and he doesn’t want you to be alone as a secondary.

When he realizes later that you’re not at the party, and goes to find you crying in the hallway, he’s saddened to hear you’ve been stood up.

What a horrible thing to do. And so publicly like this to his favorite transfer student!

Rules be damned. He’s your escort for this evening now.

He doesn’t know who your date was supposed to be, but hopes that they are there to see you be the belle of the ball on the arm of royalty.

You’re his sweet princess. You deserve nothing less.

Barbatos

Heard you were going on on a date, but says nothing of it. As a butler, it’s not his place.

Also as a butler, he always seems to be around when you need him. Appearing, as if mentally summoned, when you arrive in tears.

He offers you a handkerchief and quickly ferries you to bed so no one else sees you. So you’re not embarrassed.

He makes you so tea, with your favorite biscuits, and waits for you to tell him what happened.

Of course he’s irritated that someone would behave so poorly. But there’s little he could do. Well, there’s a lot he could do but his Lord would not approve of maiming others.

Provides the perfect, appropriate shoulder to cry on and asks you for a ‘make up date’ to accompany him to town tomorrow for errands and coffee. He won’t stand you up.

[clairecrive]

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.

[butwhyduh]

Last night thing

Jason todd x reader

Summary: he stopped you from stealing a $25,000 watch but missed something else. Part 2 to Late night Thing.

Warning: kidnap, fighting, smut

As Jason pulled up his pants and contemplated his life choices of sleeping with a beautiful thief on a rooftop, he came to a conclusion. You stole his damn tie clip. He had said that he would break your hand if you tried to steal it and dammit, you had. Somehow it simultaneously made him mad and horny. How the fuck had you managed that?

Jason knew that he wouldn’t find you that night. So he went back to his safe house to lick his wounded pride and plan his next move. He needed to get that clip back. It was a gift from Alfred and he would literally kill for it. Though he seriously doubted that he’d need to do that. And Jason would never admit it but he didn’t want to kill you.

He planned to find you sometime during the next week. His tie clip was expensive but not extraordinarily expensive but you had to find someway to sell it without him finding it, which would take time. Jason just didn’t know that it would be the next day that he would find you.

He heard that Bane was throwing his weight around in the drug trade for some damn reason. Wasn’t his venom addition enough for one man? So Jason was snooping around, or investigating as the bats liked to say. He fully expected a boring night of listening in a warehouse for hours and learning very little but instead almost fell through the glass at the sight before him.

You were strapped to a chair with rope. The pretty dress you wore the night before was in tatters but you were covered. Your eyes were red and your nose had dried blood underneath it. You were shivering like a leaf.

“I’m not here to negotiate with you. I’m here for Cat Woman. You are her child and she will come or you will die,” Bane said casually. You gasped.

“She’s going to be mad. Why would she work with you after this?” You asked, braver than you felt. He turned and coldly looked at you before stalking over. His giant fingers wrapped around your throat and you thrashed in the chair.

Jason stood up and moved to jump into the fight despite the fact that he really didn’t want to fight the brute. But Bane let you go and you audibly gasped and sucked air through open lips. You trembled and heaved.

“If she does not care about you, I will move on to her next kitten,” he said and you gulped. You didn’t know if she would save you. Jason looked through the room for a strategy. 2 exits and the skylight he currently looked through. 3 goons that he could easily take out. Oh, and a 300 pound juiced up super soldier. That broke Batman’s back years ago. Fuck.

“Let me go and I’ll do anything you want,” you said and even Jason up high in the rafters could hear the waver in your voice. Bane turned and stared at you and your mind almost couldn’t comprehend the massive size of him. He was easily half a foot taller than Red Hood and almost 100 pounds heavily and Red Hood towered over you.

“What could I possible want from you,” he asked with an icy curiosity. He was watching you for a reaction. You wanted to shrink away but that would be a failure.

“Anything you could want. Information,” you suggested. “About Gotham.”

“I have my sources.”

“Uhhh,” you breathed. “Gems? Money?” He shook his head. Your heart hammered in your chest. He was a man, right? You could sell that maybe? “Me?” You breathed.

He laughed before looking you up and down. “I do not want you carnally, child,” he said. You almost sagged in relief and Jason’s hand released the gun he didn’t know he was holding. “No. We will wait for Cat Woman and if she doesn’t come in 2 days, you are dead.”

You hummed in fear. Bane sat crossed legged and closed his eyes. He threatened to kill you and then fucking meditated. You helplessly pulled at the ropes on your wrists.

Jason tried to piece together how you got there and how to get you out. He knew that he couldn’t exactly call Bruce. ‘Hey dad, do you want to fight the guy who broke your back over a thief he has tied up. Why? I don’t know! I just like fucking her on rooftops!’ Never saying that.

Nope. Instead he would attempt stealth. Against one of the best trained fighters in the world for a woman that robbed him. Yea, maybe Jason should have stayed 6 feet under because he’s a fucking idiot. He sighed before slowly moving towards them. Bane was sitting cross legged with his eyes closed in a meditation back to you.

You suddenly saw Jason out the corner of your eyes and your eyes widened before going back to normal. Bane didn’t seem to notice the slight change in your breathing. Jason snuck over to untie you. He slowly pulled the rope from around your wrists and you were almost completely untied when the end of the rope barely grazed the ground.

Bane snapped his head around as Jason drew his guns. You gasped as Bane launched himself towards Jason. You ripped your hand out of the rope as bullets flew. You scrambled to the floor but was quickly pulled up by the giant man. He clutched you by the shoulder and you whimpered in pain. Jason suddenly froze.

“This is far more interesting that I first thought. I looked for a cat and found a bat,” he laughed. You squirmed in pain. He sat you down but the hand stayed on your shoulder.

“She’s not important. Let her go,” Jason said. The metallic voice from his helmet sounded bored.

“If she is unimportant, she is better off dead,” he said roughly pulling you in his arms and one hand gently wrapped around your throat but didn’t tighten it. You grabbed at his fingers and sobbed pathetically. Your eyes were wide and terror was plain on your face.

“Let’s not. Put the lady down and we can talk,” Jason said and it was weird to see Red Hood negotiating. He was usually the muscle in the situation. It really showed you how fucked you really were.

“Okay I’m intrigued. I will hear your proposal,” he said sitting you down. You scampered behind Jason. Your whole body trembled.

“I know Gotham underground better than you ever will. Sorry but you’re scary as shit but not in a good way,” he said with a shrug. If you didn’t know any better, he seemed casual. “I can get you the venom you need. No cost for a while.”

“How long,” Bane asked. He was the kind so get all the facts before proceeding. He also had the weakness of being completely addicted to venom.

“A months worth.”

“6 months.”

“3 months.”

“Deal. If you break this deal I will crush her windpipe with my hand,” he said with no emotion. It was a promise, not a threat. Jason felt you move closer to him.

“Deal,” Jason agreed. Bane moved closer and you clung to Jason. You were clinging to Red Hood. How pathetic. Jason stood taller and stared at Bane. They shook hands.

Suddenly Bane slapped Jason violently across the face and you yelped. Jason went to the ground but quickly got up to a defensive crouch. You jumped in front of him with your heart beating so fast you would soon faint.

“For invading my space and my business,” Bane said before walking away. “Leave.” He didn’t turn to watch.

You noticed a little crack in the Red Hood helmet. How hard did Bane hit him? Jason stood up and pulled you out of the warehouse with him. He quickly grabbed you and shot his grappling hook out of the area. About half a mile away, he landed on a building. You clung to him and trembled.

“Hey, you’re safe,” he said. “You can let go.”

You pulled off but shivered like a leaf.

“Shit, you’re cold. Here. Here,” he wrapped his jacket around you and it helped your temperature but not your shivering. “Come here,” he pulled you in his arms and you clung. His heartbeat felt reassuring and he awkwardly patted your hair. You could tell Jason wasn’t used to providing comfort.

“He- he,” you started but stopped. “Can we go somewhere safe?”

“Come on downstairs. This is my place,” he said and you nodded. You followed him inside and it was far warmer but you couldn’t stop the shaking. His jacket was replaced by a blanket and Jason sat you on the couch. The helmet came off but domino stayed on. You practically climbed on his lap to be closer. Your eyes were still wide with horror.

You’d been arrested, harassed, even shot at. But never kidnapped like that. And by the giant Bane at that. Jason could feel the fear and adrenaline coming off of you. He rubbed your back softly. You looked up at him suddenly after a few minutes.

“You saved my life. You put yours in danger to save mine,” you breathed. He shrugged, a little uncomfortable under your gaze. “Thank you,” you added.

“Uh you’re welcome. It’s no biggie.”

“Yes it is,” you said before kissing him. Your pace was dizzying and rough. Jason was in shock at first. Your hands roamed his body before dropped down to his belt and he almost jolted up.

“Not today,” he said, stopping your hand. “I mean, normally I’d love to but not now. Give it a few days.”

“Why?” You said with your voice all breathy. Your lips were swollen and eyes dark and he almost gave in.

“You were just kidnapped. You need sleep. Not sex,” he said sliding away from you. “Are you hungry?”

“Wh- you don’t think I could want you?”

“I’m not in the mood. Almost getting killed by Bane really kills the urge,” he lied. If he thought you were in your right mind, he would have fucked you on the rooftop or against the first surface he found. You jumped in front of Bane for him. He found it all incredibly hot. “You need a shower anyways.”

It was cold and cruel but better than sleeping with a traumatized woman. You shook and nodded before using his shower. Jason felt twinges of guilt but ignored them. He knew it was better this way.

You came in nothing but his t shirt that hung like a dress. “Nothing else fit,” you said awkwardly. He could see the scars that covered your legs and bruises around your throat.

“We can lay in bed,” Jason said just as awkwardly. He might know what to do with a woman who wants to fuck him but not just one sleeping over. “For sleeping.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t try anything,” you said with a little smile and he smiled back. You both laid in the bed and it wasn’t long until you pressed your back against his chest and pulled his arms around you. He was strong and safe. You managed to sleep all night with the anticipated nightmares. They had time later to come up. When you weren’t cradled in his arms.

The next morning you woke up warm. The rise and fall of his chest was comforting. His hand held your waist loosely and you could seriously just stay in this moment. But as soon as you moved, you almost giggled like a teenager. He was hard and pressed against your ass.

“Ignore that,” he mumbled.

“Okay... how?” You said after a few seconds. “Because it’s pretty unforgettable for the man I like to sleep with to have his hard dick pressed against my ass. Have to say.”

“We only did it once in a rooftop. Was it that unforgettable?” He said and you could hear the smirk he wore.

“It was alright,” you said playfully but you couldn’t help but press back into him. Jason grabbed your hip to stop you.

“Trying to get me horny?”

“I think you already are.”

“That’s true,” he said before grinding against your ass. You pushed back to do your own rubbing. “And you’re not even wearing any panties,” he said bunching up the fabric of his shirt you wore. He slapped your ass soundly and you gasped.

“What was that for?”

“My tie clip. I hope you still have it,” he said before slapping your ass again. You reached behind you to grasp his cock through his sweatpants.

“I’ll get it back to you,” you said. His pants were pushed down. Jason hummed and rubbed his dick between your thighs. You sighed at the sensation and arched your back so he was sliding between your folds instead.

“You’d better,” he growled but it had no true heat. Not when he was so close to finally fucking you and had his lips leaving little marks on your shoulder and neck. You tried to press back onto him but he stopped your hips.

“Do you deserve it,” he asked running a finger along your hip, every once in a while dipping between your thighs to barely touch your clit. You jumped and grabbed at his wrist to hold him there but he just chuckled and moved away from where you needed him. His thrusting between your folds felt amazing but not enough and he was purposefully avoiding sliding in your hole. Jason quite liked the way your body panted and curved in desperation.

Finally feeling that you had been tortured enough, and he wanted in your wet heat, he pressed his hips forward and filled you. You whimpered and leaned your head back against him.

“Yes,” you breathed. Jason took his time slowly thrusting, letting you fill his full length. His free hand moved from pinching your nipple to circling your clit. You were practically clenching him from the start and he loved it. You were so receptive.

It didn’t take long for him to find a pattern that just got you a little more vocal and focused on that. “God, you’re fucking wet,” he breathed in your ear and you whimpered. You seemed to like what he had to say.

“Taking me so well. Acting like such a good girl,” he said and you breathed out a “Hood” in response. Oh yeah, you didn’t even know the name of the man that you let fuck you. You trusted him enough to sleep in his bed and you’d never even seen his eyes.

His finger circling your clit and cock angled to drag along your g spot had you seeing stars as you came around him. Jason grunted and held your hips tight before quickly pulling out to cum on your ass. He looked as the pretty white beads covered your skin. He wasn’t forgetting that image any time soon. He reached for a towel to clean you up.

Afterwards you turned in his arms and kissed him soundly before lying your head on his chest. You reached up to play with his hair with a little smile on your face. Jason could get used to this. As soon as he thought it, he had the urge to jump up and kick you out. He didn’t do permanent. You were just having fun.

“I need a shower,” he said roughly, getting up. Jason couldn’t help but notice the disappointment on your face that you quickly hid.

“I should get going before my walk of shame gets any later,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“Borough anything you need,” he said before disappearing into his bathroom. While in the shower he had time to think. Yeah, I’m totally not broken to be cool with fucking a woman but not being able to hold her. Not a sign of being fucked up at all, Jason thought. Probably got that from Bruce. Though my real dad probably did it too.

He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and immediately saw a note on the bed.

Had fun, Hood. We should do it again sometimes, (your number)

💕 Kitten

His tie clip was set underneath it. Jason smiled. Okay, this could be fun. He was young and sowing wild oats or whatever, right?

There was no way this could go wrong, right?

[sideblog-666-thousand]

A long bitch of an interview with Euronymous, from Orcustus zine in early ‘92.

What is Orcustus? Orcustus was an early 90’s black metal ‘zine run by none other than Bård “Faust*” Eithun— murderous pretty-boy, and o.g Euronymous simp. I think he might have also played drums in a band called Emperor... but I’m not sure! Its full name is actually “Orcustus— The Shadow of The Golden Fire”, and no, I’m not making this up.

This particular issue here opens up with a quote from a short story called ‘The Doom That Came To Thomas Parkes*’.

Assuming the reader hasn’t read the story, Faust explains that the quote is in reference to what happened to the titular ‘Thomas Parkes’ when he tried to raise spirits. Faust then admits that he’s unsure of his own ability to ‘raise spirits’, but says he hopes that he’ll raise some fists in agreement that there’s something wrong with the underground scene. Ironically (you’ll see why this is ironic very soon), he doesn’t like that certain bands, namely Entombed, are selling so many copies of their LPs.

After a brief diatribe on just that, he goes on to explain that he was in a rush to get this mag out because of problems with the printer. Then, he tells anyone who doesn’t like the fact that this ‘zine only features black metal that they can fuck off, with three exclamation points.

Finally, we get to the end of the opening page, where Faust pulls what can only be called an early form of the Twitter exposed thread. It reads as follows, with absolutely no changes to the text:

“I would suggest you to not do any business with that sucker Evil Ludo from France. He have riped me and several others off, by not return what we ordered. I suppose he’s a medical sensation, as I didn’t know it was physical or psychical possible to live without a brain”

Why am I telling you all of this, when this is only meant to be a transcript of an interview with Euronymous, you may be asking? Because I find it funny, that’s why.

Anyhow, the Euronymous here acts and feels very differently from the Euronymous of the last interview I posted. However, I hope you’ll still enjoy it, and I hope you’re able to appreciate the tiny glimpses of humanity talking to a close friend allowed him, even though they both behave like complete asses. Even though it’s hard to sympathize with him at points.

Like last time, any (sparse) commentary will be between (parenthesis) and in bold. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

.

F: Well, how in hell shall one be able to come up with an intro worthy enough for this band? The words I wanna describe Mayhem’s music with, is not yet created, and it won’t be created either, because no one has really experienced the real darkness and pure brutality with lays behind Mayhem’s hellish sound, but I suppose you all are familiar with this band anyway. Well, in the first place, I hadn’t really thought to enclose this band in this issue, because if we look away from rereleases of old demos (“Pure Fucking Armageddon”) and live tapes, it’s a pretty long time since their last release (in ‘87 that was). I thought I rather should interview them when they released their forthcoming album “Dee Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, but due to the circumstances, I realised the time was right for an interview now. I won’t bother you with any history shit, but I could tell a bit about what has happened last year. You all know that their vocalist Dead comited suicude in April ‘91, that was a bigg loss for the underground, and I suppose I don’t need to say that this mag is dedicated to the memory of that infernal man. Anyway, Dead was replaced by Cultòcùlus (back then called Occultus), but due to different problems within the band, he left the band in January ‘92, but let’s not say more about that, as Euronymous didn’t want me to say anything about it at all (but Euronymous, you must admit that it has sounded pretty artificial if I hadn’t mentioned it at all). So now, the band consists of Hellhammer (drums) and Euronymous (guitar (and probably bass too)). I know the singer of Tormentor (rip) from Hungary (Esihar Attila) is interested in singing on the album, and also even moving to Norway, so it seems like Mayhem got some sort of predilection to foreign vocalists, but this Hungarian guy happend to be a good one as well, so never mind that. But I don’t think this is official, so don’t tell anyone you read it here, ok? Well then, it’s an honour for me to dedicate the next following pages to one of today’s most legendary and infamous bands......... THE TRUE MAYHEM!!!!!!!

F: First of all Euronymous, I know you and Dead live/lived totally for the old black metal attitude. Is your hate now total to young and trendy bands after Dead’s suicide?

Euro: YES, we have declared WAR. Dead died because the trend people have destroyed everything from the old black metal/death metal scene, today “death” metal is something normal, accepted and FUNNY (argh) and we HATE it. It used to be spikes, nites, chains, leather and black clothes, and this was the only thing Dead lived for as he hated this world and everything which lives on it. If we had the economic possibility to do it, we should meet up at concerts and beat up ALL trend people ALL the time untill they would be too scared to go to concerts at all, now we need to suck their money instead. It’s impossible to stop the trend no matter how much we want, we have to do the best out of it and sell lots of trend shit to them. (I don’t need to tell you that that’s totally not why Dead killed himself, right?)

F: In the spring of ‘91 you started up a shop in Oslo which sells all sorts of music within metal. Is there anything you can tell us about the shop (ideas? plans?)?

Euro: Well, the original idea was to make a specialist shop for metal in general, but that’s a long time ago. Normal metal isn’t very popular anymore, all the children are listening to “death” metal now, I’d rather be selling Judas Priest than Napalm Death, but at least now we can be specialized within “death” metal and make a shop where all the trend people know that they will find all the trend music, this will help us earning money so that we can order more EVIL records to the evil people. But no matter how shitty music we have to sell, we’ll make a BLACK METAL look on the shop, we’ve had a couple of “actions” in churches lately, and the shop is going to look like a black church in the future. We’ve also thought about having total darkness inside, so that would would have to carry torches to be able to see the records.

F: Well, how is the situation all in all in the Mayhem camp right now?

Euro: Difficult as usual, but we’re closer than ever to record the Mayhem lp. Almost all the material is completed, then I and Hellhammer will record the whole thing with 3 guitars, 2 basses and so on. It will be very massive. Who’s to sing on the lp is not yet decided, we’ll wait and see what happens. We have several people who can do the job very well.

F: As Metalion of Slayer mag* said: “it seems like you at certain times lives on the edge of starvation”. Have you ever been on the thought to just give up the whole band and become a normal 9 to 5 person, or is this a completely stupid question to ask?

Euro: It has been very hard at times, but I am not a normal person anyway so it would just not be possible to do that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things are as they are (this answer will be long) (that’s okay for me/Ed). The reason why we don’t have any money, is because of hardcore. We have for too long been following the “underground” rules, which say that you must hate money, you must not think you are anything, you must be open-minded, you might have a lot of attitudes and so on. Extremely stupid. But the situation has been that if you don’t follow these rules which are made by hardcore pigs, you are not accepted as a death metal or black metal band! Then you MUST be signed by some big label to be able to make some money, and we’ve never wanted to do that. Then you would anyway be labelled as “commercial” by the HC pigs. This has caused that after 8 years, we are still as broke as ever, while the HC pigs themselves are controlling all labels, and they sign only the bands which fit into their own idiotic world, that means “death” metal bands with society lyrics and jogging suits, and this is what the people see when they grow up. They don’t see any EVIL bands with spikes, as we did. Well, I’m tired about being broke, just to be “underground”. I’m tired of not having money to eat for just because tons of people will call you a “rip-off” if you don’t write 20 letters each day. It’s time to say fuck off to the whole system, which is built to strangle the evil bands in the birth. We must start taking inspirations from the ancient ones, from Venom and their likes. They did their thing BIG, and they never had to think about any idiotic underground rules. They did it big and so must we, but it must never become a trend, it must become a CULT. This is why we have started on a brand new policy with the band and the record label. It’s about time that someone makes a label for black metal and other grim music, and STRIKE BACK. There is NO reason why DSP shouldn’t be as big as Peaceville or Nuclear Blast, if we can just get the business on its feet again and get good distribution. That’s the only way to compete with the HC labels. It’s about time we start taking control over our own scene. We must spread the EVIL bands and pervert people’s souls.

F: What about the Norwegian scene then? Don’t you think that something is terribly wrong when it have gone so far that we have a christian “death metal” band here (Crush Evil)? Advices on how we should kill them?

Euro: First of all— the Norwegian scene is the BEST. There are a lot of GREAT bands (yet with no album out) and of course some shitty trend bands, but nothing as in Sweden. There you have 2-3 good bands out of 100, while here we have a few shit bands who hardly have made even a demo, while all the great bands will make records in the near future. Such as Darkthrone, Burzum, Immortal, Thorns (I’m flattered/ED*), Arcturus, Enslaved and newer bands like Malfeitor and others which I have not yet heard. BUT— when it comes to bands like Crush Evil, we must take serious action. It’s bad enough to have a couple of society bands, but a CHRISTIAN band is too much. But don’t worry, we have plans. They will not continue for a very long time.

F: And now over to something more humouristic....yes.... snuff movies. Who had been the perfect actor for a snuff movie, and why the hell aren’t they legalized? Don’t you think that every video-store should have its own section with snuff-movies?

Euro: Actually I think it’s great that movies like that are forbidden. If they were legal and easily accessible, all the small trend children would be watching them, and then it would not be something extreme anymore (I’m not sure if I agree with you here Euronymous. Snuff movies are usually too raw and brutal for the people with their “peace and life” infected minds. Remember the HC rules/ED) (shut the fuck up, Faust*) It’s just the same what happened to death metal— it became something everyone could buy in every store, something normal and accessible for everyone. All the mystic and evil atmosphere is GONE. I do not think snuff-movies are funny, I think they are DARK. I’ve seen people laugh at them, but that’s probably because they will not be mentally able to take the PAIN and EVIL on over themselves. That is the best way to watch such a movie, to try to FEEL the actual pain of the victims. It becomes much more gruesome then, and that’s great. One must be alone in the darkness and suffer with the victims, if you watch it with other people, they will often talk, laugh and so on, and then you get more distanced from it, it’s not supposed to be funny (death to fun), it’s much better when it’s depressive.

F: Through the years you have been talking about releasing bands like Samael, Rotting Christ, Master’s Hammer, Tormentor, Matricide, Imperator, Massacre etc. on Deathlike Silence Prod., but now some of these bands have released lp’s on labels which only have money in their eyes and know that black metal sells. Doesn’t that frustrate you, and don’t you feel it like the time is running out for you?

Euro: It’s a bit frustrating, but it is also a result of trying to be “underground” which is a suicide policy. Anyway, the main thing is that these evil records get released at all, and not who’s releasing them. We will probably release a record with Tormentor, they’re split up, but they still want to make their Anno Domini demo on vinyl, and we’ll try to fix it within the summer. The time is not running out, because there are a lot of really evil bands around. — most of the Norwegian bands which other labels haven’t heard about. Burzum is ten times better than all the bands on Earache together, and so are Thorns and Arcturus. So there is no problem, really. As for bands like Rotting Christ and Master’s Hammer, we might do something in the future instead. I’ve never been talking with Samael about any deal, but I wish I had as their album is FUCKING GREAT.

F: Almost all bands in the underground today says that they think they got their own style and originality, but the fact is that 95% of the bands sounds totally the same. What is an original death metal band today?

Euro: There exists no death metal bands today. There are only a handful of (mostly great) bands (in case someone hadn’t got it right— black metal has nothing to do with the music itself, both Blasphemy and Mercyful Fate are black metal. It’s the LYRICS, and they must be SATANIC. If not, it is NOT black metal) and what we choose to call LIFE METAL bands. Take a band like Therion. Their music is quite ok, it’s actually one of the best Swedish bands (even though that doesn’t say much) but their lyrics STINK. They are about society and pollution, what the fuck has that got to do with DEATH? If a band cultivates and worships death, then it’s death metal, no matter what KIND of metal it is. If a band cultivates and worships Satan, it’s black metal. And by saying “cultivates death”, I don’t think about thinking it’s funny, or being into gore, I’m thinking about being able to KILL just because they HATE LIFE. it’s people who enjoy to see wars because a lot of people get killed. How many bands think that way? Not many. I can’t think of one.

F: You’re maybe not the most active band when it comes to gigs, but at least you’ve managed to tour Germany and Turkey. What can you tell us from the tour, and is there any new gigs planed?

Euro: That tour was a big mess, we’ll NEVER take the train again! We lost quite some money, but still it was great to get to East-Germany and Turkey. The memories of the tour consist mostly of the starvation and idiotic custom officers, but still I wouldn’t like to have missed the opportunity. We don’t have any concrete plans, we’ll see happens in the future. We don’t like to play for a lot of trendies in jogging suits, so we prefer to leave it be.

F: What do you think of the fact that death metal has been on MTV?

Euro: It sucks. But it isn’t death metal anyway, so....

F: I know that you will soon release the debut album of Abruptum on DSP, so, what can you tell us about it?

Euro: It’s EVIL. It’s PURE EVIL, they were torturing each other in studio DURING the recording and you can HEAR on the music how they SUFFER. It will be the most demented record EVER, and it’s NOT for normal people. This is music which NEVER can become trendy, because normal people won’t be able to understand it. And that’s great. The price for the album it’ll be the same as for the BURZUM lp, which should be somewhere else in this ‘zine*. It’s called “Obscuriratem Advoco Amplèctere Me”, and stay away from it if you don’t like pure DARKNESS.

F: Don’t you think that people in the underground should respect others ideas and views more? I mean, it’s not accepted to spread unpopular thoughts. It seems like there is some sort of guardians of morality and most people keep in mind not to say or do anything which is not accepted by the public.

Euro: I don’t think people should respect each other. I don’t want to see trend people respecting me, I want them to HATE and FEAR. If people don’t accept our ideas as their own, they can fuck off because then they belong to a musical scene which has NOTHING to do with ours. They could just as well be Madonna fans. There is an ABYSS between us and the rest. Remember— one of the HC rules is that you must be open-minded (except for themselves), so we must be careful and avoid being open-minded ourselves. The HC pigs have correctly made themselves guardians of morality, but we must kick them in the face and become guardians of anti-morality.

F: You say you want your riffs to have a dark mood and really sound evil, but what if you came up with a riff which just sounded good, but not evil. Would you use it then?

Euro: Well, if a riff sounds good to me, it mostly means that it sounds evil too. At least when I make the music myself. Haven’t really thought about this about this before.

F: Do you think you’ve been playing this sort of music today if it weren’t for those old bands like Mercyful Fate, Venom and Hellhammer?

Euro: It’s impossible to say. Venom and the other ancient ones have been fundamental influences on Mayhem, and also the direct reason of the band’s existence. We like to think that if they hadn’t started up this, we would have, but who knows? Doesn’t really matter anyway, we hail ancient Venom as the CREATORS.

F: Ok, no more questions at the moment. End the interview in what way you want......

Euro: Perhaps it should be mentioned that well re-release the MAYHEM mini-lp “Deathcrush” VERY soon. We also have t-shirts available now. People should write for prices on things. Be EVIL, not open-minded.

Ok, I suppose some of you already know that Euronymous started up a shop in Oslo in the spring of ‘91. The shop is called “HELVETE” (which is Norwegian and means “HELL”) and are specialized within underground stuff and death metal in general (though he also have some other styles of music there). As he said in the MAYHEM interview, the shop really have a black metal look, so if you ever visit Oslo, I really recommend you to visit “HELVETE” as well. I think it’s good that people take the initiative to start up with such things, because if everyone were just passive, we would all get ruined by poser-shops like Hot Records where they take 140 NKR for the Earache albums (which you in “HELVETE” can get a CD for the same price). Euronymous also sells though mail, so write and ask for a list or something: HELVETE, Schweigaardsgt. 56, 0656 Oslo. NORWAY.”

That’s all! :)

And now for the things I put in asterisks, in order of their appearances.

*If for some reason you actually don’t know who Faust is, he was the drummer on the Emperor LP and “In The Nightside Eclipse” but you might also know him from other great hits such as “threatening to kill Mortiis from prison whilst simultaneously attempting to plead murder of the secondth degree”, “I’m glad the people Euronymous ripped off won’t get their money back because he’s dead hA hA!”, “I got fourteen years for murder because I’m a socially inept virgin— oops” and “bad... bad lyrics who’s quality somehow don’t improve with the passing of time”. All jokes are done in good humour— if it seems like I dislike him, it’s not that at all. I just find him easy to make fun of.

Here is another short bio, this one less sarcastic: he was born in Trondheim, lived around Kvikne, and Lillehammer, worked at Helvete, was a close friend of Euro’s, and has his sun in Taurus.

He also beefed with Glen Benton for dissing the Party City cape (Note: of course I’m being extremely reductive) he and Euronymous seemed to share. Here are a few pictures of Faust:

Here is the infamous Party City cape:

*This was surprisingly hard to find. I think he read it in a mag or something. Here’s a link to where you can find it: https://issuu.com/davidgamble/docs/paranormal37/3 page 64-65.

*Slayer mag was another zine, this one by a bloke named Metalion, who was Euro’s best friend.

*Faust (who felt the strange need to make a distinction between himself, the editor, and himself, the interviewer) also played in Thorns (well, Stigma Diabolicum), under the hilarious moniker: Fetophagia✨

*He’s being a fucking idiot, what was I supposed to say? It should be noted that Faust actually went down for the snuff films too.....

*In case you’re interested, for whatever reason, the prices for the Burzum LP were as follows:

Norge— 130 NKR

Norden— 100 K

Finland— 60 FN

Island— 1000 IK

Europe— 15$

Outside Europe,

Overseas— 15 $

Air— 22$

East Europe— 10$

By ‘norden’ he presumably meant ‘northern Norway’, and “Island” is the Norwegian word for Iceland. Notice the way he doesn’t include Sweden! (Edit: Originally I thought he didn’t include Finland because there was a black metal war with them as well, but it seems as though that feud came a bit later or had already passed)

That’s all, for real this time!

Legal disclaimer: I am absolutely, in no way shape or form, claiming that the stupid cape you see them wearing is literally from Party City. From my limited research, I’ve gathered that the Party City chain hasn’t yet opened its doors in the beautiful and glorious country we know as Norway— Norge. However, I am saying that the cheap, dinky piece of cloth covering their backs and shoulders are of the same kind of shitty quality you’d expect from a Party City Count Dracula costume and that maybe Glen had a point about how stupid Euronymous (and Faust) must’ve looked.......

[awhitehead17]

100 ways to say I love you - TimKon edition:

Number 48: “I’ll do it for you.” 

Enjoy! :D

The slamming of the mug startles Kon out of his sleepy haze. He jerks upright, narrowly avoiding not throwing his coffee everywhere, and looks around wildly for the cause of the noise. He’s still in the process of waking up so his mind is taking a little bit longer to comprehend everything that’s going on.

Once his mind has caught up he realises that he’s watching Tim storm up and down the kitchen, yelling into his phone, while he’s half dressed in a work suit and how there is coffee spilled over the kitchen countertop which is now dripping onto the floor.

Tim is livid. He’s yelling a large variety of curse words into the phone’s speaker, certainly giving the receiver an ear full as his free arm flies around all over the place while he yells. Kon wonders what’s caused his boyfriend to become so worked up at seven in the morning.

Knowing there isn’t anything he can do he stays quietly sat at the island and drinks his coffee as he watches Tim pace the kitchen. It’s a good thing they don’t have neighbours because they would’ve most definitely woken up by now considering how loud Tim’s shouting. He’s going to wait until Tim has finished on the phone and has calmed down a bit before approaching him about what’s going on. Kon’s also going to wait until he’s stopped pacing before clearing up the spilled drink, he doesn’t want to get in Tim’s way and get trampled in the process.

“The next time I see you, I swear to god, I will decapitate you and then proceed to present your head on a silver platter with an apple shoved in your jaw.”

Kon’s eyes widen and he stares at his boyfriend in shock. What kind of threat was that? With how venomous Tim’s tone is Kon’s pretty sure it’s not a threat but a promise. Now he really feels sorry for the guy on the other end of the phone.

Trying to remove that explicit image from his mind he focuses back on Tim in time to see him hang up and slam his phone down on the kitchen counter. Dead silence fills the kitchen and the atmosphere becomes thick and heavy. Kon’s not entirely sure how he should break the tension in the room without getting snapped at by his boyfriend. Tim on the other hand stands in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips, his head hanging towards his chest as he takes long deep breathes clearly trying to calm himself down.

Thankfully it isn’t Kon who breaks the ice because Tim turns around and faces him, he sends him an apologetic look as he drops his hands down by his side. “Sorry about that and for the mess, I’ll clean it up in a moment. It’s not even eight o’clock and I’m already done with today.”

Kon makes a face. “That was heavy. What poor soul has a silver platter with their name on it?”

Tim waves a hand dismissing the question. “Just some incompetent moron, don’t worry about it.”

Kon raises an eyebrow, he’s still curious but is also now slightly amused at the whole situation. Pretty much anyone under the sun could come under that category. “You know, you sound Damian saying that. That threat also sounds like something Jason would say.”

Tim pauses. After a moment he sends him a horrified look. “Oh my god, I’m turning into my brothers. I’ve been spending too much time with them.”

“I’m pretty sure violent tendencies run throughout your family Tim, it was only a matter of time before you got corrupted too.” Kon snorts. At least Tim seems to have calmed down now, while Kon is curious to what the whole thing was about he knows better than to bring it up and start Tim off again.

His boyfriend takes a deep breath and shakes his head with a little huff of laughter at the idea of it. Unfortunately the tranquillity of the moment doesn’t last long as it’s broken by the shrill of Tim’s phone ringing. It’s probably more incompetent morons, especially people Tim doesn’t want to be dealing with if the resigned sigh is anything to go by.  

Tim glares at the phone, not making a move to pick it up, long enough for it to stop ringing. The two of them don’t get a chance to enjoy the silence it brings as the device immediately starts ringing again, clearly whoever is trying to get hold of Tim is determined.

This time before Tim could do anything, Kon jumps up from his seat, moves around the island and stands in front of his boyfriend. He reaches out and puts his hand on top of Tim’s phone to stop him from picking up the device. When Tim pulls back and shoots Kon a look, Kon meets his gaze head on.

“Ignore this for now,” he tells him gently but firmly, “whoever it is can wait. Why don’t you go and finish getting yourself ready and then deal with it once you’re at the office. It’s seven in morning, I’m sure they can last an hour without you.”

Tim looks like he wants to protest. He bites his lower lip and stares at the phone under Kon’s hand with narrowed eyes but otherwise doesn’t move. Kon takes initiative and reaches out with his other to press it against Tim’s shoulder, gently nudging him backwards away from the counter.

“Go. It’s not going anywhere.”

Tim shakes his head and sighs in defeat. He takes a step back but instead of heading for the door he moves towards the kitchen sink. Grabbing a cloth he says, “Okay but first I’m going to clean that mess up.”

Rolling his eyes, Kon follows Tim to the sink and plucks the cloth out of his hands. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it for you. Now go and sort yourself out.”

His boyfriend stares at him incredulously like he couldn’t believe how pushy Kon is being that morning. Kon stares back, giving him a look that tells him he isn’t putting up with any bullshit.

After a moment Tim chuckles lowly, shaking his head as he does. Before Kon could question him on what’s funny Tim suddenly turns to face him with a mischievous look on his face that has him pausing.

Tim nonchalantly leans back against the sink, turning his body invitingly to Kon. “Before I go and get ready there’s something I really have to do first.”

Feeling exasperated, Kon huffs. “What? What could you possibly need to do right now?”

“This…”

Suddenly Tim’s lips are covering Kon’s own. Without any warning Tim had grabbed the front of Kon’s t-shirt and yanked him forward and started to kiss him. Kon let out a noise of surprise but relaxes into the kiss, letting Tim swallow any noise he makes. His eyes flutter close and he automatically tilts his head to accommodate Tim’s, allowing their bodies to press closer together and their lips to move more freely against each other’s.

A noise gets caught in the back of Kon’s throat as Tim takes his bottom lip between his own. After a second Tim lets his lip go and repeats the motion with Kon’s top lip. Just as Kon begins to reciprocate Tim pulls away which has him chasing Tim’s lips, searching for more because he wasn’t ready for it to end.

Tim grants him his desires because seconds later their lips clash again, this time with more passion and insistence than before. Tim requests entrance to his mouth and Kon willingly opens up for him. He lets Tim control the kiss as he gets lost in all the sensations that is his boyfriend.

An unknown amount of time later they separate and each take a breath as they calm down. Kon pulls away from Tim to get a good look at his face, which is now slightly flushed with slightly swollen lips. “So that was something.”

Tim hums in response.

“If that’s your way of ignoring calls then I can’t say I’m exactly against it…”

“I wanted to kiss you so I did.” Tim tells him like it’s the simplest thing in the world. And doesn’t that just make Kon’s heart beat a million times faster than before.

Kon leans in close, giving Tim’s waist a squeeze with his hands. “Well why don’t we continue that later on? Once you’re finished in the office you can come back here, turn that damn phone off and then you’ll be nothing but mine the whole night.”

Tim closes his eyes and grins. When he opens his eyes again Kon could see the lust in them as he stares back. “Sounds perfect. Now I have an entirely different reason why I want this day to be done with already.”

Kon snorts and presses a chaste kiss to Tim’s lips before moving away from him. “Now go and finish getting ready. You don’t want to be late.”

“Yes sir.” Tim mocks and finally exits the kitchen, leaving behind a very smitten Kon at the sink.

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Jasper Hale having a male mate would include:

Alice saw you coming but she didn’t see who was coming

He was resistant at first, partially because you were very human and he was afraid of hurting you, also because he had never courted a man

Not that it would stop him

After getting over the initial shock he would be a proper gentleman

He’d walk you to class, sit with you at lunch, offer to drive you home

He even switched his schedule around so he could sit with you at English- although if you asked it was pure coincidence

Constantly asks you questions about yourself, and answers your questions as honestly as he can without exposing the big secret

He takes things much slower then Edward did with Bella

It was months until he confessed his feelings for you and asked you out

Speaking of which the first time he felt your emotions and felt you crushing on him- took everything in him not to confess right there in class

Your first date he took you to a movie- due to Edward tipping him off there was a new horror movie you’d been really wanting to see

During the movie there was one jump scare that made you flinch and grab his arm- that along with the slight increase in your heart beat, he was fighting off a laugh for the rest of the night

Get’s extremely nervous at the thought of telling you he’s a vampire

Actually starts avoiding you when his family starts to pressure him into telling you

Ends up telling you during one of your very common late night phone calls

You think he’s joking at first but he proves it by running sonic speed at you

You scream

He gets very insecure for a few minutes before you assure him you only screamed because the sight of someone running at you as fast as a bullet was terrifying- not because you were scared of him

You bombard him with a million questions after that- he answers each and every one

You bring up the bite marks on his arms and he explains how he fought in the southern vampire turf wars with maria

“Oh, I just thought you were kinky”

“Y/N!”

Take’s you out the next sunny day to show you what he looks like in the sun

Can’t help but smile when he feels a sudden surge of excitement when he steps in the sun

“You’re so Handsome!”

“You’re not to bad yourself”

You spend a few hours just talking and walking around- he shows you some of his favorite parts the forest that you had never known existed

Introduces you to his family later that day, they all love you- except for Rosalie

But she warms up to you eventually

You go awhile without having your first kiss, both to nervous to scare the other one off

Jasper gets enough confidence to go for it when you press a soft kiss to his cheek, he grabs your waist before you can pull away and pulls you into a quick kiss

He lets you pull away, thinking he might have taken it to far for a moment

He’s delightfully surprised when you go in back in for another kiss- relishing in the mix of excitement and love radiating off of you

Goes home with a bit more pep in his step- which does not go unnoticed by Edward and Alice

Subtle PDA all the time, hands on your thigh, a hand on the small of your back, interlocked hands, an occasional peck on the cheek.

Never initiates a kiss in public but is more then willing to kiss you back if you make the first move\

Way to nervous to have sex with you while you’re still human

Once Jessica Stanley made a homophobic comment about you and him, he never admitted it but she may have been hit with a sudden wave of negative emotion causing her to run out of the room- tail in between her legs

Some one is hitting on you and making you uncomfortable? You feel two strong arm wrap around you and pull you close, not needing to turn around to know it’s Jasper.

“Hello Darling, Is everything alright?” He’d say in a sweet time but his eyes were staring daggers into whoever was flirting with you

“It is now that you’re here, Jazz.”

Calls you Darling, Hun, Sweetheart, ect. Basically anything but your name

If your parents are homophobic he makes sure to wait until your ready to tell them- if they handle it badly he uses his power as some extra convincing

Jasper is a bit of overprotective bit tries to respect your decisions

Jasper always tries to reassure you when you’re insecure about your relationship without using his powers on you once you express your dislike to it

The only reason he turns you is because the Volturi says if he doesn’t they’ll kill you

Although Jasper make’s sense your 100% alright with it

Makes Carlisle turn you in fear he won’t be able to stop

If he could cry he would have when he heard your cries of pain as  the venom courses threw your veins

The whole house goes still when your hearts finally stops beating and you fall silent

On the third day Jasper is anxious that you won’t wake up, the only sound in the room is his foot nervously tapping the ground

“Jas... Jasper?”

His golden eyes shoot up to your now crimson ones

“Hello Sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“...Weird.”

He helps you up and for a moment he only holds you in his arms, finally not needing to hold back his strength

Lets out a laugh when you hug him back a little to roughly

“Careful Darling, your not the weak one anymore.”

“Bitch please, I was never weak.”

That earned another laugh

He helped you adjust  to your new life as a vampire

and helped your mourn your old life

Although you struggle he is impressed by your self control

And is slightly envious

Everyone thinks you have no power

Until you touch Jasper on the shoulder and he jumps- surprised by the random image of the first time you had kissed vividly plays in his mind

Turns out you have the power Visual Projection like Zafrina from the Amazon coven

They actually enlist Zafrina’s help to train you

Jasper is more then thrilled at your talent, loving the fact that you can not only project your memories but others if they grant you access

After a month of you being a newborn Jasper physically can not hold back anymore

He whisks you away to a small cabin in Canada- under the guise of a reward for doing so well as a newborn

But when you get  there you pick up on why you’re truly there

Soft Kisses turn into hungry kisses, soft touches to the back of your neck turn into hands exploring every part of you

Let’s just say it’s a good thing your away from the rest of the family- and anyone else for the matter

You rest your head on his chest afterward, Jasper has a smug grin on his face just by feeling the emotions washing over you

You too spend an eternity together, protecting each other no matter what and savoring every last moment with each other

And for the first time in a long time, Jasper is truly happy

Uhm so this may have gotten away from me a bit.... but I’m trying to get back into writing so I decided why not write some of the ideas in my head? I hope at least some of you enjoyed :) Stay Safe everyone

[ontheblock]

BABE U WRITE FOR SALLY FACE?? Anything with Travis (male s/o with him obviously) or Sally please :O your writing is amazing!!

YES I DO !! i used to have a bunch of wips i still haven’t finished but i figured i can still add sf to my list since it was such a comfort game when it came out haha. as per usual, this isn’t beta read, i fucked the formatting up twice but just squint when you notice any errors- also thank you love <3 i‘d give you a free bologna sandwich for requesting trav ily. 100% beef obviously /winkwonk

fabric

•warning: abuse, religious guilt, homophobia and f-slur use, bad first kisses, badly written fluff, travis being travis

Travis was meant to live a life molded for him by his father. The pattern was already placed on the fabric when his first cry shook the hospital room at 6:33am. He was supposed to be cut from his father‘s mold but Travis‘ fabric was already old and frayed, the intertwining strings of muted tones that held him together felt lose by the time he could run. Sometimes he thought about the reason why he was incomplete. His fabric wasn‘t strong enough to hold his family name, not stretchy enough to bounce back from his father‘s reactions. Travis‘ mother patched him up every time there was another bruise on his back or face. She would cut parts out of her own fabric to cover the ripped strings her husband‘s belt left on their son. But she had only so much left when the beatings got worse.

Travis was in middle school, attending a christian summer camp a few hours away from Nockfell. He never noticed how different the air was at home but the sky was so murky compared to literally everywhere else. His father thought it was a good idea to let the boy out of town while he took care of the Ministry business which was code for something Travis shouldn‘t stick his nose into. He never asked but someone went missing while he was gone. Tragic.

Not as tragic as the camp counselor calling Travis home on their last day. The boy didn‘t know about that but they told his father about some inappropriate behavior his son showed with a fellow camper - a boy his age, Kenneth didn‘t care for the name or where he was from. All he needed to know was what his son did with that boy. The counselor tried to calm the angry parent on the phone but as soon as the information was exchanged the line went dead. He didn‘t want to hear the washed up excuses. His son was young and it was best to get these urges out of his system before they could even develop - dig for the deepest root you could find and rip it from the still fresh ground before it bloomed into something ugly, even if that meant that the garden would never bloom at all. Kenneth was a man of action after all.

That evening Travis came home clueless while his father already stood in the hallway with his wife behind him, holding onto his hand and uttering whispered quick prayers but his thick fingers already curled around the leather painfully hard. The strain it caused in his hand only fueled the need for a release as he charged for his son who didn‘t even have the chance to slip out of his worn sneakers.

That evening his mother didn‘t stay when Kenneth told her to go to bed early. Travis asked himself if it pained her the same way it pained him when his skin split under the force his father put in his first few strikes.

“You want to hold hands with boys now?“

“My son isn‘t a faggot, is that clear?“

“I gave you a place in this filthy town. You will appreciate it and live a proper life!“

“You will thank me when you don‘t burn for being dirty.“

It wasn‘t meant for Travis to answer because by the end of the night he would not even think about a boy‘s hand to be soft and warm anymore.

Travis was older now but he never found enough of anything to mend the damage his father did that night. Travis didn‘t try to explain that he held onto the boy because they figured that they wouldn’t slip on the wet mud that way. Instead he kept quiet about it ever happening and his father was content with this as long as he pulled his son from the devil‘s path to sodomy.

And Travis thought so too until a thread of blue fabric pulled together a gaping hole in his fabric. It stuck out like a sore thumb - too vibrant but warmer than any patch his mother gave to him and when he sat on the grimy bathroom floor in school after Sal Fisher of all people gave him a fucking pep talk, it felt nice. The warmth let his tears evaporate so he could pull himself together for the rest of the day.

But it was short lived. The warmth spread through him so fast he felt like burning up whenever he sat in class with Sal. He tried everything to get that blue thread out of his life but pulling on it only felt like strangling himself and he regretted ever letting his bully persona slip in that bathroom just because Sal fucking Fisher found the note he threw away - the note that was about him but Travis never had it in himself to tell him that. He regretted his promise to be less of an asshole because he knew he couldn‘t. Not even three days later the heat in his belly was so hot that he boiled over when he saw Fisher talking to that ginger nerd by the lockers. He ended up calling him a faggot because how dare he be openly gay in the same town Kenneth Phelps lived? How dare he be happy like this?

Sal tensed at the insult. Did he actually think Travis could be better? And why was his freakshow friend not hurt at the insult when it still burned in his throat to say it? Why did it feel like the slur wasn‘t meant for Todd at all? Travis swallowed hard as he fled the hallway in such a hurry that the three folded up pamphlets in his barely zipped up backpack fell on the muddy vinyl flooring.

“Fuck, Phleps. Just wait. Travis!“ The boy in question tucked at his collar as he turned a corner just to slip into another empty corridor. They had a free period right after gym class and Sal Fisher was determined to finally talk to the boy who relentlessly bullied him to now avoid him like it was the other way around. “Jesus, I‘m not gonna pry but if your dad-“ Sally harshly bumped into Travis as he whipped around, finally coming to a stop. Shame crawled up the taller teen‘s neck when he didn‘t find the prosthetic nose digging into his sweater uncomfortable.

“Shut up! God, just stop!“ Sal was surprised that he would use his Lord‘s name in vain like that and if the situation was anything but this he would‘ve laughed. “Travis, I don‘t know how you feel but-“, Sal tried again but Travis was at his limits this time. “You don‘t and you never will, Fisher. Your dad would accept you being a dirty faggot but mine doesn’t!“ He tried to fill his words with venom but it all bounced back on the guy‘s mask anyway with how much his voice actually trembled.

There was a moment of silence that made Travis want to literally get struck by his God‘s angry lightning. He couldn‘t even leave. It was like all the root his father dug out slowly crawled back to feed on his shame and ground him in front of Sal who still had to react and maybe Travis should just tell him to fuck off so he wouldn‘t have to find out what he wanted to say next.

“Travis...“ Sal lowered his voice in a fake moment of privacy. “Are you-?“ Travis already shut his eyes as he clenched his fists. He didn‘t like where this was going but there was no more fight in him. “Nevermind. You don‘t owe me shit but I saw your back.“ Travis exhaled through his mouth until there was nothing left in his lungs. He knew where that question was headed. Are you gay, Travis? Are you the faggot and that‘s why you‘re so angry? He was glad that Sal changed his approach because even Travis himself was too scared to find the answer.

“So what, Sally Face? You‘re sticking your nose somewhere it doesn’t belong. If you even have one under that stupid mask.“ Travis harshly pushed his index finger into the boys chest and the sharp inhale he made almost made him freeze up and apologize. But he couldn‘t. He was too deep to go soft now. The look in Sal‘s eyes was enough to make Travis finally stumble backwards and push past him.

He didn‘t follow him this time.

His verbal fights with Sal Fisher were like a damn wake up call for the teen. The rush of warmth it spread in his chest and the cold shiver in sent down his spine were shaking his body every time. He started noticing that Nockfell wasn‘t that murky. Travis used to really like yellow as a child because it reminded him of his mother’s favorite sunflower dress. She was a different woman now. The vibrant yellow was fading just like her hair. Maybe it was just Nockfell, maybe it was because of her suffocating husband draining her of her life and slowly unraveling her fabric. It didn‘t matter now but to make a depressing story short, Travis didn‘t have a favorite color anymore.

But the sky looked like a pretty shade of blue on some days. He never noticed but his bathroom tiles had blue specks in them. He always thought they were just a weird grey. There were tiny flowers blooming in the most vibrant blue behind the school and he wished that they were behind the church too but nothing ever grew around that building. But he would pluck them sometimes when he was skipping gym class. His last fight in the empty hallway was weeks ago and he hoped that Sal finally gave up on his savior complex. But why did his chest sting at that thought? His fingers slowly clutched his sweater as he stared at a withering flower by his foot. Travis jumped out of his thoughts when the metal door creaked open.

“Yo.“ Sal pushed the door closed with his shoe as he held up a hand to casually greet him. His face scrunched up. “What do you want?“ Travis lowered his head again. The boy obviously noticed the fresh shiner on his face already but facing him still felt like he exposed himself. “Just wanted to confirm that the church boy was skipping class.“ Uninvited, the teen sat beside Travis on the grass, with a healthy distance of course. “Shut up. My faith has fuck all to do with school“, Travis spoke lowly but his voice was tired. Sal just hummed in agreement before silence draped over them. Not uncomfortably like the usual strained void of reactions when one of them dropped something they weren‘t prepared for. It felt ok like this and it felt like a blanket. To Travis that blanket was soft and blue but before he could shake it off and stand up there were strings of the obnoxious fabric already weaving themself into his personal space.

“We don‘t have to fight all the time.“ Sal didn‘t look at him and neither did Travis. He really didn‘t have a reason to disagree. Not one that wouldn’t blow his cover at least.

“Maybe I could come to your little church and-“ Travis head snapped up. “Don‘t“, he blurted out a little louder than he meant. “It‘s a joke. I‘m not religious.“ Sal snorted, plucking a few pieces of grass. “Yeah, because you‘re a sinner in the eyes of the Lord. You f-“ Travis had to physically stop himself by biting his lip. Sal looked over at him and Travis wished he didn‘t. “Sorry“, Travis mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes, or eye since he was pretty sure his other eye never moved before. “I‘m trying to not call people that anymore.“ because all I hear is my father saying it.

“It‘s cool.“ It wasn‘t. “Why are you skipping?“ Travis huffed. It was weird to not let the conversation derail into verbal abuse. “I don‘t know. I fell. Hit my head on the door pretty bad. As you can see.“ Sal just hummed. “That‘s why you‘re limping, too?“ Travis blurted out a “yes“ a little too fast. Why was he nervous? His whole school life already revolved around cover up stories about the strange aches and bruises he got out of nowhere.

“Right.“ Sal let it slide, again. “You‘re acing algebra, Fisher.“ It wasn‘t a question so Sal didn‘t say anything. “Hmm.“ Travis cursed himself for never learning proper social skills but his father didn‘t like him bringing strangers into the house and his teen years were a constant feeling of push and pull of picking fights with boys that sparked an ugly tingle in his belly.

“You need a tutor?“ The silence seemed to be enough for Sal. Fuck him and his open fucking hand. “Maybe.“ Travis flicked a flower with his finger, dismissing the clear offer because his stomach ignited at the fact that Sal didn‘t hate him enough yet. “Maybe there is a tutor in Addisons Appartement, Room 402, who‘s free on the weekend.“ Sal couldn‘t help but smile under his mask as Travis huffed. “Fuck you, Fisher.“

Sal already forgot about his offer when lunch passed and his dad stood in the kitchen, washing their dishes, enjoying the background noise of his son watching TV with his cat. They were so engrossed in the VHS tape Sal put on that he didn‘t hear the door until his dad whistled from the kitchen. “Sally, door.“

“Huh? Oh. Yes, dad.“ He jumped to his feet, leaving Gizmo to the slasher movie he seemed to like. “Weird, Larry said he‘s busy“, Sal mumbled, opening the front door. “Oh.“ It was a knee jerk reaction from Sal because he expected everyone but Travis Phelps to knock at his door and truth be told, he looked like he‘d rather be anywhere else with the way his awkward greeting caught in his throat and died on his tongue as a huff. His eyes followed the way the blue strands hung over Sal‘s shoulders, the mask straps upsetting the smooth texture as a few chunks hung over the elastics. Travis hasn’t seen him with his hair down. He looked smaller in big sweatpants and a band shirt too.

“Travis?“ The boy‘s eyes snapped back to the mask in front of him. “So, algebra?“ Sal tilted his head a smidge. A small habit he picked up to better communicate what would otherwise be shown in his facial features. But it made Travis want to scream for a multitude of reasons as heat crept up his neck. “Obviously.“

Anyone else would‘ve told him to fix his tone or fuck off but Sal held open the door for him. It felt wrong but Travis took the invitation, rubbing his clammy hands on his pants. “Who is it?“, a deeper voice called and Travis almost jumped. He had to remind him this wasn‘t Kenneth. Mr Fisher wasn’t anything like his dad and he didn’t have to be on edge around the boy. “A friend“, Sal replied shortly, only getting an approving hum.

A friend. Did Sal see him as a friend? He couldn‘t dwell on it since he was pulled into the boy‘s bedroom that looked nothing like his. “Just sit anywhere.“ Sal wildly gestured into the room and Travis sat on the barely made bed as Sall dropped his books next to him.

Travis felt like there was something breathing down his neck the entire time they sat on Sal‘s bed. His shirt collar felt like it was about to cinch his neck closed, the dangling cross necklace he kept under his shirt felt hot to the touch like it burned the shape of Jesus into his chest with every sinful thought that crossed his mind as Sal explained the most bland and unerotic subject.

“Travis?“ The boy almost choked on his own spit.

“Romans 1:26-27.“ Travis stumbled over his own words but the verse was engraved into his head after writing and reciting it for a month straight under the stern eye of his father. There was a briefe silence for a moment.

“What?“ Sal looked up from the book in his lap.

“What?“ Travis felt breathless as he stared back at Sal. “Nothing“, he quickly added before Sal could even say anything else. “Explain that again?“ But he didn‘t. Instead, Sal pushed the book off his thigh, still staring the boy down. “Did you really come here for algebra, dude?“ No. “Yes.“ Travis fiddled with the hem of his shirt, not knowing if it was anxiety, anger or just bile scratching against his stomach lining to crawl out of him.

When Sal didn‘t say anything else Travis just reached over the boys lap to take the book himself but there was already a hand pressing against his shoulder. Travis hissed as he pulled his arm back, making Sal pull back just as fast. They stared at each other for a moment before Sal‘s gaze darted to his shoulder. “You fell pretty hard on that door.“ Travis clenched his jaw. “Shut up, Fisher, and back the fuck up.“

The boy shook his head, scooting away an inch. “Listen, you can say no because I would too but I can at least get you ointment for that.“ Sal gestured to his back and shoulder and something in Travis just crumbles as he lets his hands drop into his lap, staring them down to not look at Sal. “Ok. If it gets you off my back you parasite.“

Travis didn‘t plan this when he knocked on the apartment door. He expected to maybe stay 20 minutes before something would make him see red but all he saw was blue. Maybe he was cursed. All these years of plucking out the roots his father couldn’t reach were rendered worthless now that he sat on the rough carpet, holding his shirt up as Sal dug out the ointment.

How did he even get here? His heart beat in his throat when he felt a presence behind him. He felt the need to say something. He wanted to make it clear that this meant nothing to not make it weird but wouldn‘t that make it weirder? Wasn‘t this the same as his mother putting a bandaid on his cuts and whatever herbal mixture on his wounds? It wasn’t because he never felt the sick urge to kiss his mother.

“Ready?“, Sal asked, kneeling behind him with a glob of cool ointment on his index and middle finger. Fucking hell, why did he have to make it weird? He definitely had to say something now.

“It was my dad.“ Travis spoke fast enough to mutter his words but the long pause probably meant that Sal heard him anyway. He wanted to melt into the carpet, leave behind a stain on the boy‘s floor to annoy him just one last time. He didn‘t know what he expected him to say to that and he also didn‘t know why that was the thing he had to say. But Sal made it easy on him by just not answering at all. Instead, he dabbed the cream on the first bruise, making Travis inhale sharply but otherwise biting his tongue. Sal figured that Travis wanted to act tough by not showing that it hurt but actually, Travis didn‘t trust his voice under Sal‘s soft fingertips.

“Travis“, Sal spoke again. Travis wasn‘t sure if he hated the heavy silence more of the fact that Sal was the first to say something while he was rubbing little circles into his back. He didn‘t answer but that never held Sal back.

“Are you gay?“ His voice was so quiet that Travis wouldn‘t have heard it if they sat a little further apart but it had the same effect as screaming it for all of Nockfell to hear. Sal felt him tense up under his touch, already expecting him to jump up or at least yell at him. But neither of them did anything. Sal‘s fingers rested against the heating skin, feeling it rise with every ragged breath he managed to take. “Travis-“

“Fuck, Sal. What? Do you want me to tell you about the times my dad beat the gay out of me or do you prefer that time I wanted to kiss you in that gross fucking bathroom?“, the teen finally barked, letting his words sink in first before he hissed a quiet “shit“. The fingers on his back pulled away as Sal sat on his heels. “You wanted to kiss me?“, Sal repeated, slower than Travis but he just pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes until he saw shapes and felt like the pressure would crush his face. He heard Sal shuffle around the room, probably getting ready to throw him out like he should‘ve done a while ago. But the shuffling stopped in front of him and something told him not to look but cold hands were already on his wrists to peel his cramping hands from his face. Travis opened his eyes just in time to see that mask uncomfortably close but before he could say anything, there was an odd sensation on his lips with minimal pressure. Sal was kissing him and it snuffed the flame in his stomach for just a moment, allowing the torched butterflies to unfold their wings and fly high enough to even make his heart pump overtime. But the feeling was lost just as soon when Sal inched backwards, pulling his prosthetic back in place before Travis could even take any of this in.

“Sorry.“ Sal threw it into the room for Travis to interpret. But the gears in his head threatened to jump out of place already so he reached out to Sal who already flinched backwards, holding onto his mask. “You don‘t want that.“ Sal pushed his hand back a little. “How would you know?“ Travis furrowed his brows at him but he was thankful. He wasn‘t sure if he could take seeing the boy bare like that but he was craving that feeling his father tried to snuff so desperately.

Sal just shook his head as Travis inched closer. “I‘ll close my eyes.“ Now it was Sal‘s turn to hole up in silence, knowing that neither of them could handle the mask coming off. Something made him trust Travis‘ words as he opened the bottom clasp which was the cue for Travis to shut his eyes. He did and seconds later he felt Sal on him again. One hand clamping over his eyes just to make sure and the other fisting the front of his shirt.

This time Travis felt the cleft in Sal‘s lip and the scar tissue ripping up the soft skin. He leaned into the kiss. Where were his hands supposed to go? When Travis didn‘t find the answer his body moved on autopilot. One hand threaded through the surprisingly smooth strands as the other clung to the small of his back.

Travis should‘ve been grossed out by the drool pooling out of Sal‘s torn lip but he wasn‘t. He should be grossed out by Sal being a boy but he wasn‘t. When Sal pulled back he kept his hand over Travis‘ eyes while the other wiped the spit off his chin. The kiss alone was enough to patch up his murky fabric with bright blue strings that dominated the colors his father painted him in. Travis didn‘t know what would happen after high school. Hell, he didn‘t even know what would be tomorrow. But he didn‘t want the bright fibers to unravel him again.

A knock on the door startled both of them, making Sal pull his arm away and Travis rapidly blinking. He didn‘t notice the mangled face first as the unruly blue caught his eye. His hand did that. His heart beat in his throat again as he overheard Sal‘s father say something and Sal shooting a hum of agreement back. His prosthetic was already on his face again before Travis could catch anything besides the scar tissue crawling up his jaw and chin before splitting his lips and exposing teeth and gum.

Maybe blue was his favorite color.

[kokorosfanfics]

hello! i was wondering if i could get headcanons where Gundham's, Nekomaru's, and Leon's crush (gender neutral please!) gets stood up at prom and he comforts them and his crush admits to liking him? (separately please!) sorry if this is really specific, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. have a great day! :)

 Another request? Things are looking up for me! Thank you so much! And I like specific requests, it gives me a better idea of what you wanna see! -Mod Kokoro

Gundham, Nekomaru, and Leon comforting a GN crush who got stood up at prom!

Gundham Tanaka

*You came to prom, all dressed up and excited for your prom, only to realize it’s been an hour and your date hasn’t arrived yet.

*You were currently with your best friends, Gundham and Sonia.

*”My dark companion, where is the mortal who wished to accompany you here?”

*”I don’t know.... They should be here by now!”

*You texted your date where they were.

*Only to receive a message saying “Oh they’re not coming to see your sorry ass because they’re with me!”

*You couldn’t believe it. You just got stood up. Tears were welling in your eyes, how could this happen?

*Gundham immediately noticed and peered over your shoulder, and an angry look overtook his features. You can’t recall seeing him angrier than you see him now. 

*”Where is this fiend? How dare they abandon you!”

*”G-Gundham.....I-” You hugged him, crying into his shoulder. 

*At first, he didn’t expect it, but then he hugged back, doing his best to soothe you. 

*”S/o.” He pulls away only to see you.

*”Yes?”

*”Would it make you feel better, if I were to... dancewithyou?”

*”I’d like that, Gundham.” As if on cue, you heard Ibuki announcing “Get a partner and get ready to slow dance to I SQUEEZED OUT HE BABY BUT I DON’T KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS!”

*Gundham is actually very good at this! Dancing with him was amazing. As the dance continued, along with some laughs at some song lyrics, you thought to yourself. You’ve been pushing your true feelings for Gundham away for quite some time now. You didn’t think he’d ever like you, you always thought he liked Sonia. But, you’ve never seen them act as more than friends. Come to think of it, he’s been here to comfort you for everything that happened. Could he feel the same? Maybe it’s time to find that out.

*You leaned closer into his arms. “Hey, Gundham?” 

*”Yes?”

*”I.... I really like you a lot. Like, as in... More than a friend. You’ve been with me for everything that made me sad, and made me feel better. I just... Wanted you to know that.” You blushed and looked away.

*When you looked back, he stood there with wide eyes, and a huge smile.

*G-Gundham? Oh-”

*You did not expect him to suddenly dip you and kiss you.

*”Oh my dearest S/o, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words! I’ve loved you for so long! I had never expected for you to reciprocate! I was beginning to worry I’d never have a chance with someone such as you!” Gundham was ecstatic, he was as happy as could be.

*After prom, you heard rumors that the date who stood you up was in the hospital. Supposedly, a venomous snake bit him and slithered away before it could be caught. Weird, am I right?

Nekomaru Nidai

*You had gotten dressed, and looked absolutely stunning. Best of all, you had a date coming with you! Or so you had thought.

*You got there, and your two friends Akane and Nekomaru immediately ran to you. It was the most bone crushing group hug you’ve ever experienced.

*You ate snacks, and hung out for a bit. You checked the time, it’s been an hour. Where was your date? 

*“Hey S/o where’s..... What’s your dates name again?” Akane asked you.

*“Yeah. Everyone except them has shown up.” Nekomaru added,

*“I don’t know. Lemme text ‘em.”

*You pulled out your phone and texted your date, asking where they were.

*You got a text back that made you cry.

*”I thought about it, and you’re not worth it. Bye S/o.”

*Your friends immediately noticed.

*”Huh? S/o- You okay?” Nekomaru went from worried, to absolutely enraged when he saw your phone.

*”WHAT? HOW DARE THEY! DON’T WORRY S/O, I’M GOING TO BEAT THEM TO A PULP-”

*“N-No... You don’t have to do that....” You told him, looking down.

*Nekomaru’s gaze softened. Comforting you was more important at the moment. And so, he took your hand.

*”I’m... Not the best at dancing, but, would you like to? With me?” You noticed some pink on his cheeks as he asked that.

*”Yes, I would like that.”

*The two of you danced throughout the rest of prom, just enjoying each others company, and enjoying food and music. You felt much better after that. Come to think of it, the reason you accepted the other person who asked you was because you always assumed Nekomaru wanted Akane. But, he seemed closer with you. Is it time to face your feelings and tell Nekomaru how you really feel? 

*Nekomaru and you walked out of the building, now that prom had ended. Akane wanted more food, and Nekomaru drove her since they lived close by and she didn’t have a car. 

*You mentally prepared yourself. “Hey, Nekomaru?”

*”Yeah S/o?”

*”Thanks.... For being here. Dancing with me, making me feel better, I really appreciate it. And.... I’ve thought about it more, and I think I should tell you how I really feel. I..... Iloveyou!” You managed to squeak out.

*You looked up and saw him. His face looked like he was a little kid who was told he was getting 100 presents for Christmas.

*”S/O L/N! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOOOO!” He picked you up, and twirled you over his head. He then proceeded to hug you super close to him.

*”I’m glad you feel the same, Nekomaru.”

*”Hell yeah I do! And I promise to NEVER be like the loser who stood you up.”

*”And I believe you.” You kissed him. He kissed back.

*The next day, you went to a bulletin board with photos of prom. Everyone was admiring a picture of you and Nekomaru, when he was twirling you. Mahiru gave you a wink and thumbs up. I think I should also mention the loser who stood you up came to school in crutches, and cowered from you in fear.

Leon Kuwata

*You walked into the school, super excited for your date. You never thought someone would ask you to prom, so this was exciting for you!

*Leon was the first to greet you with a big bear hug.

*”Hey S/o! You’re here! Let’s go get some snacks!”

*”You bet!” You and Leon ate snacks and chatted for a bit, but then Leon seemed puzzled.

*”Something up Leon?”

*”Yeah. Why isn’t your date here? It’s been a full hour!”

*”I’ll text them.” You pulled your phone out to text your date, only to receive a message explaining that they weren’t coming because they’d decided last minute they didn’t want to be seen with you. You were about to cry.

*”Woah, woah, hey, S/o....” Leon saw this and pulled you in for a hug. “What’s the matter S/o?” You showed him your phone, and you saw the most livid expression on Leon’s face you’ve ever seen. He looked like he could kill a man.

*”What the HELL??? Oh, they don’t want to be seen with you? Well I do!” He immediately grabs your hand and takes you to the dance floor, and before you know it you two have begun dancing. You were shocked and refaced. Leon was dancing with you????

*He made sure you were okay with this when he realized he hadn’t even asked. You nodded, too flustered to speak at the moment.

*This was nice. Leon is nice. He was quick to comfort you, and dance with you, and make you feel better. He was so kind to you. And that’s when it clicked. You had a crush on him. How did it take you this long to realize it? Well, now that you think about it, he probably feels the same!

*”Leon?” You looked up at him.

*”Yes S/o?”

*”I really like you a lot. You’re always kind to me, and you always do you best to make you feel better. I don’t know why it took me this long to realize it, but I really love you! MMPH-” Leon couldn’t contain his excitement and kissed you right on the lips.

*”Oh my god! S/o! You love me back? This is the best day of my life! I love you! I love you so much! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it!” He kisses you again. 

*He then picks you up bridal style, lifts you over his head, and runs around shouting “I’VE GOT A GIRFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER! I’VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER!” Over and over again. Kiyotaka and the teachers would stop him, but they can’t help but double over laughing, so they just let this continue. Oh and, Mahiru has definetely photographed this, and other people are recording this. You are hiding your face in your hands, because of how flustering this is for you.

*The next day, when you walk to school, you’ve become the center of attention, with all your classmates and other students asking you if you’re actually dating Leon, you blush and nod, and proudly announce, “That’s my boyfriend!”

*Leon runs up to you. “Hey babe, wanna see something cool?”

*”Sure!” You say. He pulls out a baseball and a bat, and points to where the date who upstood you is, They’re at their locker. Leon tosses the ball upwards, hits it with the bat, and it hits the loser right in the eye socket. Kiyotaka mumbles that even though he thinks it was justified, he’s still giving Leon detention.

*”It was worth it!!!!!!!”

*You love your boyfriend.

[nowis-scales]

Pre-Verdant Wind Endgame Update

An Update on the ol’ Three Houses Verdant Wind playthrough, since I’ve been neglecting documenting my journey properly for a bit:

• My current placement is Ch.20, so I’m only a few chapters away from the last one. It’s kind of a weird thought because I feel like I just hit the timeskip, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will feel well-paced out. In terms of writing, I’m known for being a bit of a stickler for good flow. It’s why all of my fanfics take so long to update! I have to make sure my flow is perfect.

• The fact that they have been giving background information on characters has been so amazing. Learning that Raphael’s sister’s name was Maya and getting to hear about her has made me irrationally happy.

• Also, just generally, holy shit people sleep on Raphael and Leonie. Raphael often gets shoved to the side, and Leonie is treated like her only trait is liking Jeralt, and for me it all just culminates in the question of “so did you like... not do their support conversations, or...?” Seriously. I think Leonie might be one of my favourites in the game so far, and I adore Raph. He’s so sweet!

• The Flame Emperor reveal for some reason gave me “and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids” vibes. I liked the venom Cherami Leigh had there as Rhea, too. I think I read from someone that in Japanese, Rhea’s actually super calm in that scene. I don’t think I have a preference towards the anger or the calmness, honestly. I think I just liked how smoothly the emotion came across. Plus, I’m a little biased, I’m fond of Cherami as an actress. I haven’t found a performance from her I haven’t enjoyed yet.

• I was really confused as to why Seteth showed up in my house after Chapter 12ish I think? I wasn’t expecting him to just be there after the paralogue, but I definitely wasn’t unhappy. I do like him! I just never use him, because I recruited Bernadetta and Sylvain, so I kinda have a full roster going... 

• I was also confused in the Gronder Field fight because I couldn’t see what people meant about Bernie getting set on fire. Then I remembered Bernie wasn’t on the hill because she was with me. I recruited her. Whatever this proves about me, I don’t know.

• I did end up beating Marianne’s paralogue! It actually wasn’t as hard once I levelled her up a bit and classed her to a Holy Knight. The big thing with her in that paralogue seems to be that she needs a decent amount of power and movement to really get by, so that’s what I’d recommend for anyone else playing it. Using rescue will also probably help you out, but I tried to avoid using Flayn there because it’s kinda easy to kill her. 

• Admittedly, I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the support system. In some ways, I think it’s better that not everybody has that forced S-Support. Oftentimes we were either squeezing a love confession out of two characters who were unlikely to have one, or characters with decent potential might get snubbed because their connection was less apparent to the writers (and unfortunately that still does happen in the case of same sex S-supports in 3H). Having the conversations only go to a certain point is helpful, but at the same time, the inherent romantic undertones of several of the A-supports do make things feel strange. If it weren’t for the fact that I know characters can have only one partner as their paired ending, I would think lots of them were in a polycule. Nothing wrong with that as long as everyone’s comfortable, but because I know they can only have one person in their ending, I find it pretty jarring.

• I think it was interesting that they went to do the fights for breaking into Enbarr and then taking down Edelgard back-to-back. I’m glad they did, honestly, because while I don’t usually like to do two fights next to each other unless I’m grinding, it doesn’t mess with the suspension of disbelief. It would be stupid to break into Enbarr and then just run right back to the Monastery.

• I have still not completed the randomized quest from just after the timeskip. You know, the one I was yelling about with the weeds? Still haven’t gotten any weeds. I think I might just have to give up on it. It’s hilarious that my luck is so good that it’s actually bad.

• The fact that Byleth is praised for having more of a personality than Corrin is the biggest slice of bullshit I have heard from this fanbase in a long time. Byleth is literally designed to be a silent protagonist with nothing going on with them – they even came up with a story reason for why Byleth is such a blank sack of meat! In the kindest way possible, I don’t think most people realize that they are implementing whatever personality they want onto Byleth. Personally, I don’t find anything relatable about being stoic, calm, and not inclined to anyone (until plot happens, of course). I’ve always been the overly enthusiastic and caring type, with a tendency towards nervousness. Trying to relate to Byleth was like trying to relate to the experiences of a cactus. While I definitely don’t think Corrin is the strongest of the modern FE avatars – that award goes to Robin – they still had some things I could understand and relate to. If you’re not the type of person who loves the cool, “I fight for my friends” types like Ike, though, you’re likely to have a hard time relating to Byleth. If you can manage that type of character, then you’re more likely to have present them with a personality of their own.

• Actually, while we’re on the topic of Byleth getting praised for things Corrin got dragged for, the fact that Corrin is still cited as the character who receives the most “player pandering” is ridiculous too. Do a lot of characters like Corrin? Yeah! But most of them who do are deeply traumatized in a way that inclines them specifically towards Corrin. The Nohr siblings cling to each other due to their abusive childhood, the Hoshido siblings all in some capacity seem to suffer from abandonment issues (oldest) and/or attachment issues (youngest), and the official foursome of retainers have also had some sort of abandonment struggle in their past (forced separation from parents, murdered loved ones). While the cast of Three Houses needs therapy and is traumatized too, there is no reason why the inclination moves towards Byleth. Bernadetta feels safe around them just because. Edelgard is obsessed with them just because. Marianne learns to feel better about herself just because. Why are there so many exceptions for Byleth, and so many just without explanation? I don’t hate Byleth by any means, but these two things make my opinion of them lower than it would be otherwise. It kinda sucks that my image of Byleth is tainted by the fanbase’s hypocrisy, but I know I can’t have everything.

• The gameplay overall for 3H has been pretty fun! I love the addition of the Demonic Beasts, as annoying as they are to fight. There’s a charm to having some of your stronger units working to take on the soldiers blocking the path, meanwhile your army’s more intermediate strikeforce works to keep them safe by bringing down the beast. Once you get the hang of it, gameplay with the new additions is fun. The only thing I don’t use is Divine Pulse, but that’s because I’m on Casual and usually when I want to rewind, I want to just plain start over. So I use the old “turn off and start again” trick.

• Edelgard’s death scene was actually pretty good. I must confess that I went out of my way to avoid Edelgard in the academy phase, as I knew how hard the game was going to hit me with the “she’s obessed with you” thing and I wanted to see how wonky it would feel if I didn’t speak to her much. I was right that it’s incredibly awkward in terms of writing when you haven’t spent the time with her, but surprisingly, her death scene still holds up. Good voice acting, animation, and music. My only beef with it is something they have done in FE before, and it’s something I wish they’d stop. If a character is dying, you either let them have a few last breaths after their last lines or you kill them mid-sentence. It’s probably just a personal nitpick, but hearing them get their last word out without struggle and then immediately die just makes me aware of how badly the directors wanted the whole line to be in there. I can totally understand it but I find it so troublesome in the grand scheme of things that I just can’t.

• I also like that in the fight against Edelgard, they tried to make it ambiguous who had the key. Immediately as it told me that, I decided it was Petra and ended up being right. I was kind of sad to kill her though, to be honest. I don’t know her well, but she’s probably one of the Eagles I like more.

• The fight against the Death Knight at Fort Merceus ended up being surprisingly pretty easy. In fact, while I paved the way for most of my army, Nader ended up making it to the Death Knight just as Claude did. He did most of the damage – I’m not kidding, the Death Knight was down to 1 HP – and then Claude took care of the rest. It was a weird fight. They said impregnable a lot leading up to it.

• I understand why they kill Dimitri off-screen at the Gronder Field fight, but I was admittedly a bit disappointed. Again, Salli Saffoti does a good job doing Hilda’s voice for it, but I would have liked to see it animated. It was also nice to have that little rapport with Dedue! If only we could have allied with the Lions a bit more. Everyone always says Claude and Edelgard have similar goals; however, it’s their methods that differ. Claude seems to align himself a bit closer to Dimitri, so I’m usually a bit confused by the idea that Edelgard and Claude would work together. I was spoiled on enough to know her background and story, and even so, I think that her methodology is just a bit too violent for his tastes. But that’s just my two cents.

 Alright. I think that’s about all I can drain out of my brain from the top of my head. With that, I am off to kill the slithers! We’ll see how this goes. Wish me luck!

[keroujack]

ask me if i do this every day

Steve’s not surprised. Not really. It’s 10 PM on a cool March Thursday. He’s locked in his room writing a paper he should have finished three weeks ago instead of waiting until the night before to do it. But he’s an idiot and he always waits until the night before. Suffers immensely because of it.

So no, he’s not really surprised when his phone lights up with a text from Billy, who had finished the paper days ago and wanted to see a movie, rolled his eyes when Steve told him why he couldn’t at his locker earlier that afternoon.

He’s not surprised either that the text doesn’t say anything, it’s just a link to a playlist on Spotify. It’s called “i’m sick of steve harrington listening to shitty music” and the icon is a truly awful picture of Steve that Billy had taken at the diner a few weeks ago. His hair’s flying in about 400 different directions and he’s got no less than 17 French fries shoved in his mouth.

Which, you know, Billy had dared him to do.

“Bet you can’t fit 15 at once.”

“Watch me, dickhead,” Steve had said, pulled the plate of fries they’d been sharing closer to his side of the booth. “And you’re paying for my food if I can.”

“You’re on.”

15 kept his wallet full, two extra proved a point.

It’s a bad picture. Steve laughs anyway.

For the most part, the playlist is pretty typical. Predictable. A lot of loud shit, the kind that makes Steve’s ears hurt a little bit, though, not exactly in a bad way. There’s also a lot of indie nonsense Steve doesn’t entirely recognize, thinks maybe he’s heard the songs once or twice when Billy’s had control over the aux, but not so many times that he knows what the songs or the bands are called. 

There’s only one song that’s any different. One. Sticks out like a sore thumb. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_gxp28AgLA)

Steve’s pretty quick to look and see who it is. Laughs when he does. Gets halfway to texting Billy, “the weeknd is mainstream asshole”, because Billy says it all the time.

“You’re too mainstream, Harrington. Way too mainstream, I mean, Christ. Don’t you ever listen to anything that’s not Top 100?”

And Steve can hear it. Can hear the exasperation, the annoyance. The way Billy goes a little huffy when he thinks he’s right, when he thinks Steve is being ridiculous. 

His thumbs hover over the letters, over send, ready to be right and rag on Billy for the rest of the night, but then the lyrics start. And he stops.

Because suddenly the song’s got his full attention and he’s listening now.

Like. Really listening.   

And the whole thing-the music, the beat, the words-well, it paints a picture. A vivid picture. One that sends a warm flush up his neck, makes his eyes go a little wide, his mouth a little dry.

It’s dirty. The song. And it’s not that Billy doesn’t listen to songs that are dirty. Steve knows he does. Has balked more than once at the lyrics Billy hums under his breath, low and lazy and way too downright obscene for something like lounging next to Steve’s pool on a calm Sunday morning.

It’s more that Steve’s not expecting a song like this at, now, 11 PM on a Thursday on a playlist made for him by his best friend.

What makes it worse is that it’s easy, almost too easy, the way Steve can see it. See him.

Billy.

Often.

The short mess of blond curls that fall across his forehead after practice every day. The bright blue eyes that cut across a classroom where the teacher no longer allows them to sit next to one another. The sharp curl of his lips around a white-hot smile when he thinks Steve’s said something funny.

The broad line of his shoulders, bare, hard, like the muscles that stretch across his chest, his arms, his back. Stretches endlessly for miles and miles and sometimes Steve wonders, quietly, and only to himself, what it would be like to trace along them all with the tip of his finger.

Often.

The image evolves before he can help it.

He can see Billy’s lips, but now they’re pressed to smooth skin, dark stubble rough against it, rougher against the moan that comes from above him, long, high, breathy. The fan of his eyelashes is thick against his cheeks, eyes closed, focused, devoted. The hand in his hair is slender, thin, twists, tightens as he presses slow kisses down a soft, delicate stomach, lower, lower, lower.

Often.

Steve closes his eyes, tries to wipe the thought away with it, wants to wipe the slate clean. But Billy’s still there. Steve still sees him. Sees his head between a pair of pale thighs, kissing the inside of one, the inside of the other, dragging his lips, trailing his tongue. Working up the long, warm line of tense muscle, inching, closer, closer, closer.

Do it how I want it.

By the time the song’s over, Steve’s laptop has gone black, paper long forgotten. His breathing’s gone heavy, pulse quick, jeans way too tight.

He pushes at his eyes with the heels of his hands because what the fuck-what the fuck?

Since when do those thoughts wear Billy’s face?

The next song, back to loud and abrasive, does a good job of wiping the music from his mind, but the image sticks. Makes it hard to focus. Hard to write about The Iliad and the inherent tragedy of a fate you can’t avoid.

He wants to text Billy, wants to beg him for a copy of his paper-like he always does-so that he can rewrite Billy’s thoughts to sound like his own. Wants nothing more than to be done with this already and go to sleep. 

But he can’t. He really can’t.

Can’t even bring himself to answer when it’s Billy that texts him first. Just a simple, “wyd im bored” but it’s still got Steve’s hands shaking. He damn near puts the phone through the wall when he throws it onto his bed before he can respond.

Before he can say something stupid.

For all the distraction finishing his paper is able to provide, fitful, restless sleep brings the images back. Makes sweat drip at his temple, makes his hands curl into the sheets.

Gives him a reason to spend fifteen extra minutes in the shower before he goes downstairs for breakfast. 

Steve still feels like he’s flushed, like he’s exposed when Billy’s shoulder knocks into the locker next to his that morning. Backpack slung easy over one shoulder, Henley done low, collar spread wide over his chest.

“So?” he asks, rests his temple against the cool metal as he watches Steve struggle to shove a textbook in his bag. “Did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Like what,” Billy repeats, a bit of a scoff, a laugh mixed in with the words. “The playlist, dumbass. What’d you think?”

Often.

Steve can feel the word sitting on his tongue.

“Loud,” he says instead, smiles when Billy narrows his eyes. “It wasn’t bad, but you still listen to too much of that metal garbage.”

“Oh get the fuck out of my face with that ‘metal garbage’ nonsense,” Billy spits, without venom.

Steve takes that as his chance to lean in close. “What was that? Sorry, you’ll have to say it again. My ears are still bleeding.”

Billy reaches out, flicks his ear at that. Steve smacks his hand away, closes his locker with a slam, a laugh that comes as naturally breathing.

They walk to class. The day goes on.

Steve can’t stop thinking about that song.

Often.

He can hear it.

Hears the echoes in the curl of Billy’s hand around the strap of his backpack. In the twist of his fingers when he leans down to tie his shoe. The sweat that glides along the plane of his back at practice. The strip of skin on his stomach that peeks out when he leans back in his desk and stretches.

It’s everywhere.

Often.

Three days of this and Steve feels like he’s beginning to lose his mind. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday pass in a blur of daydreams, a haze of images he shouldn’t still be ale to see this clearly.

Shouldn’t be so easy for the daydreams to shift, to evolve.

For the body beneath Billy’s to no longer belong to some nameless, pretty face. For it to belong to Steve. For it to be him Billy’s looking up at. His stomach Billy’s kissing down. His thighs Billy’s there between. 

Mornings wake him with a gasp, with ragged breaths and goose bumps that ripple up and down his arms, his spine. A flush that spreads along his neck like wildfire and a throb between his legs so strong that he can’t help but slip a hand below his waistband. 

Do it how I want it.

His heart climbs up into his throat on Thursday night. Billy’s sitting in the passenger seat, phone pillowed in his lap, aux cord firmly attached because, “I can’t deal with your mainstream shit today, pretty boy. Not a fuckin’ chance.”

They’re on their way to the diner for milkshakes after practice, both beyond starving and craving something a little sweet after two and a half hours of basketball and getting screamed at.

Often. 

Steve’s heart climbs into his throat and his stomach drops because, just like that, the song is on. The song is on and it’s started and Billy’s tapping his finger in time with it against the window. Steve feels the words wrap around him, hardly has time to even process how he’s going to exist in the same space as Billy for the next four minutes when he realizes Billy is humming.

He’s goddamn humming and Steve swears he can see Billy looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Feels his cheeks go a little pink, feels his hands tighten around the steering wheel with a grip that hurts.

They’re the longest four minutes of Steve’s natural born life.

He convinces himself that it’ll get better after that. That food and company and conversation will be more than an adequate amount of distractions, but he’s wrong. It’s almost like the diner makes it worse.

They’re sitting across from each other in a small, familiar booth along the windows. The place is fairly crowded, which isn’t weird considering the dinnertime rush here is known for that. Their legs are too long beneath the table and Billy’s knees nudge at his when they settle in, warm, snug. Sets Steve’s skin on fire. 

There’s already a shared plate of fries between them when the waitress comes back with their milkshakes. Chocolate for Steve. Strawberry for Billy.

When Billy’s lips wrap around the straw, Steve’s breath catches and suddenly he realizes he should have said no when Billy asked if he wanted to get food. He should have said no. This was a mistake.

Because now he’s trapped here, in this booth. With Billy’s knees knocking into his and his pretty pink lips around a straw and his cheeks hollowed in the exact same way Steve can see every time he closes his eyes. Hollow around him.

It’s too real now. Too real and too much. Way too much. 

He tries his best to hide his face in his glass. Tries to focus on his shake and hide the fact that he’s not breathing. Not looking as he listens to Billy talk between sips. Nods. Doesn’t really trust his voice at a time like this. When his heart’s racking behind his ribs like they’d only just finished sprints and his mind is cloudy like he’d walked through a wall of smoke.

He’s still not sure he’s breathing by the time they’re back in the car. Steve has to drive Billy back to pick up his car from the school and without the noise of the crowded diner to fill pauses, the silence becomes more noticeable. Thicker. Tenser. 

Especially because Billy doesn’t take the aux again. He doesn’t even turn on the radio. Just sits and drums on the window, jiggles his knee.

Steve is wound so tight he’s afraid he’s going to explode.

The silence doesn’t end when they get to the school, isn’t cut off by the loud slam of the passenger side door.

No. Billy doesn’t move to get out at all. In fact, he does the opposite, turns away from the door, turns towards Steve. Faces him. Steve keeps his body square to the wheel.

The sharp breath Billy lets out is harsh in his ears. “So are you gonna tell me what the fuck’s got you so weird or am I gonna have to ask?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve swallows hard when the words make Billy laugh. Doesn’t really understand why.

“Steve,” Billy says, and that’s when Steve knows he’s fucked. Well and truly fucked. “What’s the problem?”

And Billy knows something is wrong. Always knows it. Has known it since Steve got pushed off the swings by Tyler Boyd in the fourth grade. Billy had only been in school a week, had only just moved from California, but Steve had scrapes all over his legs, was fighting back tears when he said, “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” Had hardly even gotten the words out before Billy tackled Tyler Boyd and pinned him to the blacktop. He wasn’t allowed back outside for recess for two weeks, but Steve started sitting next to him at lunch and that was about as good as a blood pact in their young, adolescent minds.

Stuck together forever.

It’s then that Steve looks at him, realizes Billy is so much closer than his peripheral vision had led him to believe. He’s got one elbow on the center console, his other arm out long, hand on the dashboard, angled completely in Steve’s direction.

Steve still hasn’t said anything, can’t with Billy’s eyes on him like this. With Billy so close. The car so quiet.

Billy’s laugh is softer this time, comes when Steve worries his bottom lip between his teeth, feels the pinch that’s caught between his brows.

“What?” Billy asks, the word even softer than the laugh. Small. Encouraging.

Steve can’t help the way his eyes fall to greet it.

“You’re not allowed to hate me.” 

It’s the first thing he’s said in a while and it’s low, totally miss-able. But Billy never misses anything. Flinches a little when Steve says it.

“Hate you?” he asks, something like disbelief pulling at his tone. “Why would I-”

Steve leans over and presses his lips to Billy’s before he can finish the question, forgets the words in favor of a tiny hmmph of a noise somewhere in the back of his throat.

Which gives way to total silence.

And Steve’s going to pull away. It’s been at least ten seconds and Billy hasn’t moved and Steve’s going to pull away. Going to get out of the car, dig a large hole, fall into it, and die. 

But that thought only last as long as it takes Billy’s hand to find his jaw. It grounds him, holds him, keeps him there like Billy knows exactly what he’s thinking. It’s Billy that moves first, tips his head a little, brushes his lips over Steve’s and smoothes his thumb along his cheekbone.

Steve falls into it like they’ve been doing this forever, lets his hand go to the side of Billy’s neck, follows as Billy guides him. Moves with him. Breathes with him.

He tastes like strawberry when he opens his mouth and Steve can’t quite believe he ever thought milkshakes were a bad idea.

Steve’s pretty sure the soft smack that separates their lips, only barely, is going to be burned into his memory until the day he dies. That. The fan of Billy’s eyelashes, still flush with his cheeks, and the bow of his lips, still parted just slightly.

Billy’s slow to open his eyes, only gets them about halfway there when push comes to shove. Just like when he’s waking up. When they accidentally fall asleep on the couch during a movie and suddenly his breath catches. When he keeps his eyes half lidded and lets consciousness creep in like hunger.

Billy’s looking at his lips when he says, “Yeah?” Breathless. Maybe a little beautiful.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers, doesn’t want to say it. Doesn’t want the words to take this away.

But they don’t. He says it and Billy doesn’t move, hardly bats an eyelash.

Is actually kind of smiling.

Steve can’t help but kiss him again, laughs when Billy whispers, “Backseat’s probably a lot better for this,” against his lips. Lets Billy drag him into the back and feels that heat spread low when Billy climbs into his lap and ducks his head to pick up where they left off. Like they’ve been doing this forever.

Steve wants this to be forever. Wants Billy to be forever.

Always.

Often.

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

Did MJ try to make Spidey retire?

Short answer: Never when she was in character and never unjustifiably!

The number of times I’ve heard people claim this is unbelievable. I’m going to settle this shit once and for all. Feel free to share this with anyone making these claims.

The simplest way to do this would be to run through things chronologically.

Unless anybody can bring up other examples, off the top of my head I can recall only three times before ‘One More Day’ where MJ floated the idea of Peter retiring.

The first time was in ASM #283. However the important context of this is that Peter himself  has already resolved to quit as soon as he is done with his latest case involving his friend Flash Thompson.

However further important context is that Peter has resolved to retire even earlier in ASM #275 and in that issue it was MJ (after learning his origin story) who encouraged him to NOT quit.

An issue later she was back to being against his work as Spider-Man.

However, many issues around this era (which was before  they got married!) depict MJ flip-flopping on her feelings and the reasons why boil down to her being concerned for Peter’s safety.

At which point why is MJ being out of order in desiring him to  retire? She loves this man and doesn’t want him to be hurt but also understands why he does what he does and it’s that fundamental heroism that is a major reason for why she loves him. This is again summed up in Web of Spider-Man #6.

Next up we have an example of when MJ didn’t  ask Peter to quit. But people always treat it as though she did so we’re going to address it anyway.

It stems from the clusterfuck that was ‘Maximum Carnage’.

Let’s give you that all-important context.

In Spider-Man Unlimited #1 Pete and MJ are attending Harry Osborn’s funeral. Harry died in chronologically the story right before ‘Maximum Carnage’ so this is a very fresh wound; he died merely days earlier.

Prior to his death, Harry had been waging months of psychological warfare on the Parkers and even tried to kill Peter. His attempt actually almost killed MJ and his own son Normie. During this whole time Harry’s wife (now widow) Liz Allan had been pushed to her wits end too.

As a result Mary Jane is reluctant to talk to Liz.

Also, for months now (starting with Carnage’s debut actually) MJ had taken up smoking to cope with the stress of their lives, chiefly her concern for Peter’s well-being. This topic and her behaviour at the funeral gets raised when they return home.

The talk zeroes in on the risks to Peter’s life and how he and MJ got lucky with Harry. MJ asks Peter to take a break for a week or two.

Not retire permanently.

Not take an indefinite hiatus.

Not even take a break for a month or definitely two weeks.

She literally asks for 7-14 Spider-Man free days so they can de-stress and catch their breaths in the wake of a serious crisis and loss.

Peter promises he will.

Unfortunately Carnage has just broken free of the authorities and formed a gang.

For the sake of argument let’s say MJ doesn’t know much about Carnage’s cronies. She just knows he has back up.

However, she absolutely knows about Carnage.

As his name implies, is an incredibly lethal foe. You know Venom, that guy who’s famous for being a bigger badder version of Spider-Man? Yeah Carnage is an even more powerful version of that  guy. Spider-Man one-on-one is physically incapable to defeating him and had to team up with Venom to do it. Even then they actually weren’t strong enough to beat him physically because Carnage is stronger than the pair of them combined!

Making matters worse Carnage’s whole body is extremely durable to injury, with blunt force not being the most effective way of fighting him. His forte is being able to quickly generate a large arsenal of sharp edged weapons from his body; think the T-1000.

This skillset is appropriate given how Carnage prior to obtaining any of these super powers was already a highly violent and sadistic serial killer who killed purely for the pleasure of it. How violent and sadistic? 11 life sentences merely for hi known  crimes. That’s how violent and sadistic. And again, this was when he was just a normal guy.

Oh, and on top of all that he doesn’t trigger Peter’s Spider Sense, making him immeasurably more vulnerable to an already overwhelming powerful foe.

He is possibly the single most physically dangerous Spider-Man villain of all!

This isn’t idle little trivia about the character by the way. It is key to his whole concept and was laid out explicitly in his original appearance. In fact, in that first appearance he was so powerful that Peter was helpless and forced to team up with Venom, who lived to kill him!

Even when backed up by Cloak and Dagger, Spider-Man’s ribs take a pounding from Carnage, Shriek and Doppelganger. It is in this injured state he returns home to a concerned and naturally  upset Mary Jane.

She then begins an argument with Peter when he tells her he plans on going back out there.

Let’s sum up so far.

MJ has been stressed for months prior to this to the point where she’s started smoking.

Peter and her nearly died mere days ago because their friend went psycho.

Said friend died in front of them.

Their other friend, his wife (who MJ was naturally going to relate more to since they were both the wives of costumes folks) is now a grieving widow.

MJ’s husband promised her he’d take a break for a little while so they can recover a bit.

Her husband then almost immediately went back on that promise.

His risking his life again against a bad guy who’s all but guaranteed to kill him if he fights him alone.

Last time MJ’s husband beat this guy he did it with the help of a powerful nasty piece of work who wanted to kill him. Even then they only just won. That’s how dangerous Carnage is.

This time Peter is fighting him alone, whilst injured, and Carnage has two  people backing him up.

So if it wasn’t a guarantee that Peter was dead meat before, now she might as well get ahead by planning the funeral.

THAT is the context behind MJ’s rage and desire for Peter to not be Spider-Man temporarily  in this story.

However, noticeably by the end of the story she’s changed her mind!

We then jump forward to the ‘Clone Saga’, specifically a mini-series called Spider-Man: the Final Adventure.

The context behind this story was that Peter, upon believing he was a clone and that Ben Reilly was in truth the original Peter Parker, had decided to retire and support a pregnant Mary Jane.

To this end they had both left New York but due to a lab experiment involving Peter’s blood a serial killer had mutated into a spiderlike monster. With no other heroes around Peter suits up again as Spider-Man to the dismay of the heavily pregnant Mary Jane who wants him to NOT do that.

Is this MJ being not as understanding as she could be, maybe even selfish to some degree?

Sure.

Is it also Peter being in the wrong too?

Also yes, the story brilliantly points that out.

But more significantly prior to this story the Parkers had been through Hell.

In less than a year (in-universe):

Peter’s robot parents had turned up pretending to be the genuine articles

They’d betrayed Peter, breaking his heart

Their close friend Harry Osborn had gone mad

Harry and used his knowledge of Peter’s identity to torment the Parkers

Aunt May had gone into a coma

Peter had suffered a mental breakdown

Ben Reilly and other clones had shown up (including clones of Pter’s murdered lover Gwen Stacy)

Aunt May has passed away

Peter was framed for murder

MJ had been targeted for abduction more than once

They’d discovered MJ was pregnant and that the baby might have serious health issues due to Peter’s mutated DNA

Peter was revealed as a clone and had a second mental breakdown

During his mental distress Peter had accidentally smacked MJ across the room

The Jackal had nearly killed everyone on the planet

The Jackal mind controlled Peter into trying to murder MJ

MJ had nearly died due to complications with the pregnancy

That isn’t even everything but all that stuff had been happening across the previous three years of publication alone. And as I said in-universe it was less than a year.

So MJ and Peter had been through a LOT of horrible and stressful things that had put them both on the edge and sometimes over it. Most of that stuff was connected to Peter’s life as Spider-Man that MJ always had mixed feelings about at best. And now after Peter FINALLY retired and their lives were blissfully normal, allowing them to catch their breaths and do some much needed healing, Peter is coming out of retirement…When it isn’t 100% necessary for him to do so.

And all this is happening during MJ’s second or third trimester when she is very obviously heavily pregnant. This often can be a stressful time for pregnant people generally and of course sometimes mood swings occur due to hormones firing all over the place. And MJ is dealing with super powered spider hormones on top of all this. With a baby that is a total lottery because nobody on Earth has ever been pregnant with a half human/half spider powered baby before.

Given that she is dealing with ALL that is it really unreasonable for her to desire for Peter to simply continue to be retired.

She isn’t demanding he give up being a hero.

She is angry and demanding that Peter CONTINUE the choice he already made about giving up.

Which is not the same thing and she was okay with him going back into the hero game after he pregnancy concluded.

Finally we come to the Howard Macke/John Byrne run on Spider-Man where MJ again desired Peter’s retirement.

Here is the thing, MJ once again was desiring Peter STAY retired as opposed to demanding he outright quit.

Moreover the Mackie/Byrne era was a period where MJ, Peter and other characters were often written incredibly out of character practically systemically. For example Flash Thompson behind Peter’s back literally made fun of the fact that his girlfriend Gwen Stacy and his wife Mary Jane were dead (at the time MJ’s death was faked by a stalker).

Peter and MJ were actually written in this reductive way back during this run as part of an editorial policy to break up the marriage.

The thinking at the time was to make their relationship unlikable in order to make people glad for when they got rid of it via killing off Mary Jane and leaving Peter single.

So essentially not only was MJ and Peter out of character back during this era but they were literally being sabotaged so readers would hate them.

Between that and how OOC (out of character) the characterizations were back then this by rights should simply not count in any analysis of the characters.

Now, there have been instanced post-OMD of MJ clearly wanting, asking, demanding, etc. for Peter to quit.

But as with the Mackie/Byrne era (or Black Cat from 2009-2018) these are out of character and should not truly count.

So when written in character and when there are not extenuating circumstances (like pregnancies) involved, Mary Jane would actually not ask Peter to quit and never truly has.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 2x10 I See a Darkness

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) This bitch had better not hurt Nicole!! Why does she think Nicole has the seal????

2) YEAAAAHHHH!!

Waverly and Nicole are in a fight, but damn did Wave kick some old widow ass! Both of them did! Damn, that was a tense cold open! But… how many times are the writers going to put Nicole in danger? She’s like the Willow of this show.

3) I really like how the Sheriff has turned around about Wynonna and the Earps? Like, I remember how in the first episodes he came across as this misogynistic douche who was oblivious to and/or complicit in the deeds of the dark forces around town and now… he’s not? But it wasn’t a sudden change, it was slow and reasonable.

4) It was also very sweet to hear Wynonna talking to a faceless Mercedes because when she first arrived in town, I felt that she would become Wynonna’s first friend of her own, and then the whole possessed-by-an-ancient-widow happened and that was it.

5) Wynonna just learned that Waverly cheated on Nicole with Rosita, who is also, btw, a revenant! But… hadn’t Wave promised Rosita that she wouldn’t rat her out to Wynonna? I know she’s freaking out over Nicole’s condition, but… not cool, Waves, not cool.

6) Dolls is saying that Nicole has two or three hours at best, and I’m here like  NOT TODAY SATAN! YOU’RE NOT TAKING NICOLE!

7) Like, I hope Waverly doesn’t help Bitchy McWidow because what evidence does she really have that they truly have the cure for Nicole’s bite? At the same time, she’s in love and she feels guilty – on two accounts, her cheating and Nicole getting bitten to save her – and she might act stupid, again? I wouldn’t be shocked…

8) Nicole is using her last bit of strength to help Wynonna figure out what Mercedes meant before she bit her, and also, to ask Wynonna to… kill her…? If things go south? And I know Nicole can’t die. I mean, I think I know? But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think she might?

9) Ay ay ay…

Nicole is nearly dying and she’s apologizing to Waverly because of the DNA test thing and she ought to because she was wrong but at the same time, here she is, DYING because she tried to protect Waverly and Waverly basically cheated on her and it’s all so UGHHHH

10) Now, Jeremy is explaining how he needs to do more testing to come up with a cure and Waverly offered herself up for the testing and he’s like “no, you’re human, it will kill you (like it’s killing Nicole)” and isn’t this the perfect opportunity for Waverly to come clean and say “hey, I think I’m half-revenant so let’s get with the testing!”?

11) And now Waves is freaking out about the broken mug and what if they can’t fix it, and we know she’s not talking about the mug and it breaks my heart.

12) “Doc could find a dildo in a nunnery”. I LOVE YOU, WYNONNA EARP.

13) I thought it was impossible to love Doc any more than I already do, and here he’s all tough and drunk and playing poker with revenants and he’s telling Wynonna how she must dreaming if she thinks his mortal self is going to help her fight the widows until he hears the words “Nicole is dying” and he’s on his feet and all “Lead the way.” My heart!

14) Waverly is seriously considering making a deal with Bitchy McWidow… and… as a general rule, maybe don’t make deals with people who say goodbye by saying “ta ta for now”?

15) Nicole was MARRIED?! WTF!

16) Peachy. Brendan Fehr just burned JC to ashes and now they will need another test subject with the venom in their blood. Aaaand he’s also asking Dolls for Wynonna’s baby? Obviously, demons and cults are coming after the baby.

17) Wait, was Dolls taken by Black Badge when he was a baby? Did I get that right? I’m?

18) Ugh, Nicole’s wife is all (un)intentionally “I know her better than you do” and Waverly feels useless and guilty and she’s going to do something stupid, isn’t she?

19) Hmm. Wynonna is acting all petty towards Rosita basically because she’s jealous. She can pretend it’s because Rosita is a revenant or because she might blame Rosita for Waverly cheating on Nicole… but when it comes down to it, she never really liked her ONLY because she’s with Doc. And Rosita is right, she didn’t need to threaten her, she just needed to ask.

20) And now Rosita has injected herself with the venom in spite of Jeremy’s protests and I like her 100% more.

21) Oh, damn, Mercedes got the Sheriff! That’s what she meant by “the law” and being at the right place but the wrong time!

22) Ugh, she’s beating him up and he’s all sassy and not giving her anything! Bless his soul! But what does she mean he knows where the seal is?

23) Damn, now Dolls is offering himself up to be the test subject and will every one act like a freaking hero in this episode? I can’t take it!

24) “What are you? A witch? A Pokemon?” It must’ve been worth it to get bitch-slapped for that burn, right? But now she’s breaking his fingers and I bet he regrets it a little bit?

25) The Doctor Ex-Wife needs to choose an attitude, like, one second she’s “you don’t know her at all” and the next she’s all “she really loves you, Waverly Earp.” Lady, make up your mind, you’re either cool or you’re not.

26) Now, this seems a bit convenient…

Mattie the Blacksmith just happened to have a sister who happened to be an Iron Witch who happened to work at the same hospital where Nicole is at when she happened to be bitten and happened to have iron coursing through her veins. Hmm. It’s just a tad too convenient, isn’t it?

And of course, Waverly is offering to do anything for her in exchange for Nicole’s cure, and the witch is all shady “anything…?”

27) She just basically wrote her a prescription? She just mumbled some ancient words or some shit and voila? Really? After spending the whole episode freaking out because they couldn’t come up with a cure? Seriously?! Come on, it should’ve taken at least more than a conversation over the counter…

28) Ugh, she fucking led Waverly to the third seal…

29) MY SHIP IS NOT DEAD!

Look at them being all flirty and joking about what a big turn-on Doc’s detective skills are and looking like an expecting married couple???

But also, Wynonna just promised to “stay in the driver’s seat” and I’m calling BULLSHIT!

30) Yeah, Wynonna, straighten that bitch out!

She did stay in the driver’s seat, though. My bad.

31) So Wynonna had trusted the Sheriff with the third seal! That is SO SWEET! But damn, now Waverly has it and she doesn’t know that they are holding Mercedes hostage and that they might get the cure… please, don’t be stupid, Waverly.

32) Oh, dang, that’s the face of someone who messed up…

33) But damn if this hug isn’t the sweetest thing ever? Wynonna truly loves Nicole.

34) What did you do, Waverly?

Well, I guess the Big Bad is coming.

35) Why does the Iron Witch want this…?

36) WTF now she’s whispering Wynonna’s name and “disappear” and WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WAVERLY!!!

37) SHE MADE DOC DISAPPEAR!!! BRING HIM BACK YOU WITCH!!!

38) WHAT??? WYNONNA’S GONE??? AND EVERYONE’S ACTING AS IF SHE’D NEVER EXISTED???? AND THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS HER IS THIS POOR BASTARD WHO IS STUCK INSIDE THE WELL AGAIN????

39) Damn damn damn! What an amazing episode!! It felts like a season finale? But it isn’t, and I’m like how?! And Wynonna knew what to do right before she disappeared, but now she’s gone and Waverly is planning a wedding…? Is she the heir now? Is this what happened? And the witch said: two sisters, one will disappear, and the other will have to leave with it. But Waverly doesn’t remember Wynonna? Where is Wynonna? In an alternate universe or something? Will she have her baby there?! This show, I swear to god, when I think I’ve figured it out they pulled something completely unique and unexpected. Granted, I felt the whole Iron Witch showing up and giving Waverly the cure they’d been desperately looking for the whole episode VERY plot-convenient, but I can overlook that thanks to this amazing plot twist! I guess Melanie had to take some time off to have the baby and wow, what a great way to write her character temporarily off! I can’t wait to see what this new Wynonna-less reality is like? Seriously, THANK YOU so much for making me watch this show, it’s truly amazing!

40) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[flemingtech]

HOW STRONG IS YOUR PASSWORD?

Hackers can make your life into a not yet released Season 6 Black Mirror episode as if 2020 hasn't been bleak enough. They seem to get better at their jobs and also running out of things to hack. Recently, I saw a statement by the FBI warning Americans to cover their smart TV cameras with tape. I don't feel safe because if they can do that to a smart TV camera, imagine what they can do when you are watching something in incognito mode using Chrome. I don't know what you guys watch in incognito mode, but for me, that's the moment I'm most gross. I may be scratching my belly hairs, picking my nose, and examining its contents cause no one is watching. Then a hacker records everything and demands a ransom. I can't let something like that leak. My prince charming facade will go down the drain. I would rather they leak my sex tape.

 Passwords are the barrier between them and us. Most of us are like Jon Snow, we don't know anything about password security but we still survive miraculously. We aren't new to news of top tech firms like Facebook and Google getting hacked. Hackers steal the personal information of site users(names, addresses, birth dates, driving license numbers e.t.c). With such information, they can access credit cards using your information and drain your finances in just a few minutes or go on a shopping spree with those credit cards, leaving you in deep debt. The only way to avoid this disaster is to create a strong password and hope for the best. So how do you create a strong password?

 THE TRADITIONAL METHOD

Hackers use password cracking programs, so the main issue is to be able to beat the program. The traditional advice for a strong password is that it should :

1. Have 12 characters minimum-The longer the password, the longer it takes to crack.

2. Include numbers, symbols, capital letters, and lower case letters- The more you use different characters, the harder it is to crack.

3. Not be a dictionary word or a combination of dictionary words- The passcode-cracking program runs simulations of possible passwords, and they first begin with dictionary words.

4. Not rely on obvious substitutions- An example is using D0rmant instead of Dormant. Substituting the o with a 0 isn't going to make the password cracking programs work hard.

 THE PASSPHRASE METHOD

The rules so far are pretty much hard. Not unless you have a MacGyver type of brain, remembering a password like fyU98@mogD$ad is close to impossible. The best way to overcome this is by a technique called the passphrase method. The steps of creating a passphrase are:

1. Using a phrase only familiar to you- The phrase I'll use is: "The first phone I ever used was a Motorola Razor. I was 10 years old". From that statement, pick the first letters from each word to form: tfPieuWaMoR.iw10yo.

2. The next step is to add symbols and punctuation marks where applicable- Where there is an 'A' place the symbol '^' or '@', letter 'E' use '£', 'S' use the symbol '$', and letter ‘I’ use ‘!’. The password now becomes tP!£uW^MoR.!w10yo. This is now a strong passphrase.

3. For sites that ask for a verification question when you want to change your password, choose a question whose answer cannot be obtained by researching your social media accounts.

 REMEMBERING YOUR PASSPHRASECODE

The only problem remaining now is remembering the password since you should not reuse your password. If one account is compromised, the rest will be at risk. Do not write down your passwords in a piece of paper cause it has zero security features. Luckily there are apps called password managers where you can store your passwords and create one master password for accessing it. All you have to remember now is the master password. There are cases where the password managers get hacked, but the good thing the only thing that will be compromised if at all is the master password. The stored passwords are stored in heavily encrypted formats so they will be safe. One should also avoid saving passwords in browsers. The reason is, as earlier stated, tech giants also get hacked, and that puts your saved password into the information stolen by hackers.

 I doubt I am creditworthy for most financial institutions. The most valuable thing a hacker can obtain from my accounts is my browsing history. We are all vulnerable through our accounts due to our dependence on the internet. Many people have lost their lives due to these evil geniuses. Now use this knowledge to frustrate their efforts. Make them sweat for your information even though if you follow these guidelines, it may take the hacking program 100 years to crack your password, and by then, I doubt he/she would have the patience to wait that long (I hope quantum computers wouldn't be out by then cause we will have to create a new way of beating the computer programs).

I'll be joining you all in changing passwords cause Elon Musk leaked a password of one of my accounts in his son's first name ( I rue you Elon Musk, although great minds think alike). I'll drop a conversation below between two hackers who tried to hack one of my accounts. I'm not saying I reverse hacked their microphone to obtain the audio file. Till we meet next time, keep it fleming.

 Hacker X: (laughing hysterically) I can't believe you got beaten by a credit unworthy kid from south of Sahara desert and north of River Limpopo.

Hacker Y:(sobbing) He didn't beat me, I let him win. It was just too long.

Me:(A thousand miles away with a venomous sneer)That’s what she said.

[hazelandglasz]

7 kurtbastian. Can kurt be one wearing the wet white shirt?

7. … being drenched whilst wearing white

Of course !

On AO3

He won’t ever admit to it, but Sebastian loves his job, unironically.

Being Santa at the mall (and the prophet Elijah, the Easter bunny, and, on occasion the Tooth Fairy) brings him more joy than he could explain.

For one, it’s a job, and one he does pretty well.

For two, Sebastian adores little kids and their brutal honesty and wicked sense of humor.

For three …

Well, it’s a little less innocent, a lot more perverted and 100% selfish.

See, the different characters he brings to life need sidekicks. Of course Santa needs his elves; the prophet Elijah is accompanied by matzos, wine cups and a star of David; the Easter bunny has decorated eggs and the Tooth fairy has teeth.

Slightly creepy yes he is aware, and he really hates the Tooth fairy gig.

And just as Sebastian is the mall’s designated main character, the actors playing the sidekicks are also regulars.

Sebastian’s interest in hs job owes probably more than it should to one of such actors in particular.

Tall, slender yet muscular, vibrant blue eyes and a wit to match his own: Kurt Hummel has it all.

So much, in fact, that even Sebastian doesn’t know how to approach him, let alone seduce and date him.

Because for some reason that Sebastian doesn’t want to explore too deeply, he doesn’t want to simply add Kurt to his “wins”.

No, Sebastian wants to woo the guy, but he …

Doesn’t dare.

No, he’s happy to admire from afar, like someone appreciating a sculpture in a gallery.

Kurt has the advantage over the sculpture that he is alive, and moving, and running.

Oh, they changed the outfit of the Elves this year, Sebastian notices as he takes his seat.

All in white.

A play on the White Christmas theme going around the mall, he supposes.

Kurt Hummel manages to look good in a white, satiny elf costume, where is the justice in that, dear Lord?

At this point, Sebastian is all for making the Yuletide very, very gay--at least in his head.

What he didn’t expect, what he didn’t see coming and thus didn’t prepare himself to be confronted with, was the sight presently facing him.

One of the kids was just so excited to see him, to get to sit on Santa’s lap, that he tripped and his bottle of apple juice just flew.

Uncapped.

Against Kurt’s chest.

Turns out, the flimsy material constituting the Elves’ costumes doesn’t deal well with being wet.

Not only is the top of it now stuck to Kurt’s chest, and boy oh boy, what a chest, but it has turned see-through.

Sebastian has an irrepressible need to suck the apple juice of Kurt’s chest, if only two see if those abs are ticklish or not.

He needs to have an answer to this question.

“Kurt, come over here,” he signals, clearing his throat and opening the workshop hutt.

Kurt’s jaw is clenched as he follows Sebastian in, no doubt repressing insults and curse words.

And Sebastian needs to talk to his therapist, since he can’t help but think that anger suits Kurt far too well.

If he’s being honest, Sebastian would admit that he may have developed a Pavlovian reflex of getting aroused at the sight of Kurt Hummel’s scowl.

“God fucking dammit,” Kurt growls while Sebastian looks through their stuff for towels.

“Here,” Sebastian pulls a hand towel from the cupboard. “Hopefully it’s clean.”

Kurt grabs the towel and starts scrubbing at the stain of juice. “Thanks, Smythe,” he says, without the usual venom he injects in his voice when talking to Sebastian. “But I think it’s a lost cause. I think Rory left his suit here yesterday, I’ll just borrow it.”

Before Sebastian can turn, or prepare himself, or escape to slow down the beating of his heart, Kurt has unbuttoned his shirt and taken it off.

Hooooooooly sugar canes.

“Hum, I, uh …”

Kurt looks over his shoulder, and that is definitely a smirk on his lips.

Sebastian should know, he is a professional smirker.

“Like what you see, Sebastian?”

“It’s not making me blind, color me surprised.”

Kurt snorts, pulling out the shirt. “It’s making you hot in your Santa jacket, it’s what it is.”

“It’s a warm Santa jacket.”

“Not that warm. Besides, I see you lookin’.”

“Just appreciating the view.”

“Ah,” Kurt nods his head before pulling the clean short on. “So you’re an aesthet.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s not very Santa like,” Kurt continues, getting closer. How did Sebastian not see that he was getting closer?

“How--how so?”

“Well,” Kurt says, now close enough that Sebastian can smell his cologne. Whatever it is, there is also a light layer of apple to it that is not off-putting. “I’ve always been of the opinion that Christmas is all about giving.”

“Hm?”

“Are you trying to offend the spirit of Christmas?”

Oh, two can play that game. Sebastian steps forward, putting one hand on Kurt’s waist. “Au contraire, mon cher. I’m all to be the spirit of Christmas, in the flesh.”

Kurt cocks one eyebrow at him. “So generous.”

“I try.”

“You should start with your elves.”

“Give them a holiday bonus?”

“Good idea--hmmm.”