#I went wild late at night and kept forgetting NPCs

[beardedmrbean]

Hi, it's Dream Anon ! It's been a while, more than a year I think ? But a lot has happened dream-wise.

After the last couple of asks I sent, where I dreamt about being "hired" to be an NPC in other people's dreams, I kept having those "dream filming" moments about every night. No fanfare, not even a discussion with that greek/norse "dream goddess".

Then, around two weeks later, I discovered I had a carbon monoxide leak in my house. You'd think that would be the end of it, weird dream happenings end up being from a CO leak, you fix it and it's gone... except that after a month of having no dreams at all, it started happening again.

That time, I was directly in the white void again, and the dream goddess said something along the lines of "Your presence cannot be delayed any longer" (in my native language). Then it was like a cutscene or autoscroll from a video game, I followed her through what looked like a corridor with many different "scenes" around us, I distinctly remember seeing one of a sort of mountainous plateau, going "Oh, that looks like a Ghibli background", and the scrolling stopping for a moment before resuming. After some time (felt like forever), we ended up in a study, she took a seat, and I did too. She said "the fish closes the laser", and without thinking I answered "Just a different way of dodging". She sighed again and said "Dodging is temporary, the fish or the laser will end. I liked the cake, though.", then I woke up.

While I still don't understand what the hell is up with the fish and the laser, I remember very distinctly the dream it's from, where my school cafeteria gave me cake with a bite taken out of it, and it makes things even weirder. Did this dream goddess take a bite out of my slice of cake in a dream years ago ? Does that mean anything ??

And that's not even the worse part ! I went to sleep pretty late on Friday night, and after waking up to the sunrise (something that usually doesn't happen as I'm not a morning person) and with a killer headache, my computer showed Sunday. To this day I'm not sure whether I really slept for 28 hours, or I lost all memory of my Saturday. I had no plans for that day, so no one could confirm what happened, and my internet history for that day was completely empty, but that's not completely unheard of since there are days where I don't boot up my computer at all.

This time I got worried I might actually have a tumor (it's not everyday you hear a supposed deity in your dreams say that something will end, and then discover you slept for a whole day straight) so I went to the doctor and explained everything, and the doc said something along the lines of "Don't care about the dreams, but we definitely have to check that hypersomnia out". I got the whole shebang done, ended up with a folder full of pictures of my brain, and... nothing unusual. I did learn I have a relatively large hippocampus compared to the average person, though.

Nothing major happened for months after that, every few days I'd get another dream acting as an NPC, sometimes I'd meet the dream goddess (which I've taken to calling "boss") and forget absolutely everything from those conversations. The white silhouette with antlers/lightning crown of thorns never got any more detailed, by the way.

Nothing wild has happened in real life so far either, sometimes when I see a silhouette in a bright light it makes me think about the dream goddess, but that's about it. No hallucinations yet !

Today I woke up thinking about documentation, and immediately remembered that I used to send you asks about those dreams. I stopped because my life got pretty chaotic while I was getting that CO leak fixed, and after that tumblr fell out of my recent websites and I completely forgot about it. I did keep a record, though, that's what I'm using to write this.

Anyway, glad I remembered, and especially glad I could clear up that radio silence after my last ask. Re-reading it, it kinda looked like I died after sending it.

Decided to have a look and see when the last one came in and I had to cheat to get the tag to show.

Dream anon tag

Hello, it's dream anon, here's an update : The same method I used earlier worked, although I feel like I'm becoming better at noticing the dream goddess during NPC time so maybe in a few days I won't even need it. Touching my nose every minute of every waking hour is a bit tiring, and I feel like I'm gonna develop OCD if I keep this up too long.

April 28, 2022 it's been way too long.

Glad you're good, you pop into my head on occasion and I do wonder.

Got a few people over the years that drop in for a random ask here and there, they all pop in occasionally.

Had to stop when I hit the CO leak that was spooky, I'm glad there's no permanent damage from that, and you've got a big hippo camp too, that's fun.

I'm very glad to hear you're well though, that is very good news.

And if you're up for a bit of dream fun,

You want the Blue Stilton, that's the one that does it. 20 grams which is .706 ounces, so not much.

[amememightywarrior]

(Twitter shenanigans) FFXIV NPCs on social media

Haurchefant: that one mutual who likes, retweets, and comments on everything you post

Estinien: joined years ago, 1 post that says 'I live'

Aymeric: verified, keeps retweeting food photos, all comments are by diehard fans

Hien: travel pics, nothing but travel pics

Magnai: posts poetry, romantic quotes, lists on what makes an ideal woman

Sadu: trolls Magnai with pictures of shirtless men

Yugiri: only referenced in Hien's pics

Gosetsu: cannot figure it out, types like he is trying to google stuff

Thancred: keeps posting pics of his family, deleted all the party pics from his youth but the internet never forgets, does it

Urianger: lengthy twitter discourses about literature and cool science facts, has his own vlog, speaks only in paragraphs

Y'shtola: refuses to use social media

Minfilia: Motivational quotes guru who keeps retweeting your posts

Alphinaud: keeps DMing you about things

Alisaie: pics of her rock-climbing in the craziest places

Ryne: puppy pictures!!!! and desserts

Gaia: quotes lyrics from her favorite emo songs, and desserts

G'raha Tia: pics of archaeological digs, also keeps DMing you

Crystal Exarch: the silent retweeter/liker, occasionally posts things that sound oddly familiar...

Emet-Selch: deploys an army of bots to troll people constantly

Lahabrea: tweets when he's on the toilet. Literally anything that crosses his mind. There are petitions to ban him on twitter.

Elidibus: owns the platform

Cid: professional engineering photos and talking about how tech improves lives

Nero: 'Well, actually...' comments on all of Cid's posts

Gaius: used to tweet, stopped tweeting mysteriously

Zenos: guns, hunting videos, keeps inviting you to come with him

Varis: verified, posts only imperial decrees

Solus: verified, memorial post, previously posted imperial decrees and retweeted theater shows

Alpha: Anything and everything trading cards

Omega: *beep*

Hancock: trashy salesman who only friends you to gain more exposure and get more hits on his post engagement counter

Tataru: nothing but food and good-looking men but everyone knows how nice she is

Fray: only gets on to encourage you to delete all social media because it's bad for your mental health, reminds you to drink water, and threatens anyone you don't like

Ysayle: posts anti-Holy See propaganda featuring videos of herself making grand pronouncements about truth, justice, etc, but one time the internet spotted a stuffed moogle in the background and now no one can let it go

BONUS WoL ON TWITTER BY JOB

WAR: twitter rants

DRK: constant griping

PLD: lists and lists and lists and

GNB: tweets about concerts

WHM: nature pics

AST: galaxy pics

SCH: library pics

MNK: action shots of martial arts

NIN: looks like a normal account...is actually a hitman

DRG: alternates between pics that trigger your fear of heights or pics of them in the hospital

SAM: Japanese aesthetic pics

BLM: out on the bomb range again

MCH: progress shots of the battle bot they're building in someone's garage

BRD: renaissance fairs

DNC: artistic professional photos of dancers

RDM: combo fencing and historical reenactment

SMN: nothing but cute pet photos and training videos

BLU: got sucked into a MLM scheme, keeps trying to sell you stuff, any DMs sound like they're copy and pasting a script

[acey-wacey]

Dearly Detested

Pairing - Idia Shroud x Reader

Synopsis - When Idia gets kidnapped by a ghost princess, it's up to you to save him. There's only one problem: you hate him with every fiber of your being.

Genre - non-canon compliant, I don't remember how the story went so I'm making it up, enemies to lovers

Notes - I love to hate Idia. Easily my least favorite character in TWST, but our love-hate relationship makes enemies to lovers so much sweeter.

Explanation for those who haven't played Stardew Valley: In STV, you can romance some of the characters. Once you get to 8 hearts with them, you can ask them to be your partner by giving them a bouquet. 10 is the max heart level unless you get married. Keep this info in mind as Idia Shroud is dweeb.

"Ugh, this is such NPC stuff."

Idia banged his head against the vending machine repeatedly, hoping it would help free his newly bought can of Monster that was stuck against the glass. He shook the machine a few more times to try and wiggle the can free but it wouldn't budge. He leaned his head against the glass and groaned.

"I gave you my three dollars! This isn't fair," he muttered, thoroughly agitated. Just as he was about to give up and head back to the dorm, a shoe slammed right next to his head. Idia shrieked as the can fell to the bottom. He shielded his face from the attacker, only being able to distinguish that someone has reached down and taken the can from the slot.

"Monster this late at night, Shroud?"

Idia tried not to groan as he heard the all-too-familiar voice. When he uncovered his face, you were standing in front on him, tossing the can in the air and catching it with a smirk. Idia scowled and tried to grab at the can.

"Give it. You're gonna make it explode," he said through gritted teeth. When he finally managed to snatch the can away from you, he held it close to his chest like a precious treasure. You just laughed and raised an eyebrow.

"No need to get defensive. I just asked a question," you tried to fight a grin as Idia's hair flared up in annoyance.

"No, you were mocking me."

"With good reason, weaboo. It's almost 11 pm and you're still playing video games, aren't you? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say online multiplayer. Am I right?"

He didn't have to say anything for you to know you hit the nail on the head. The begrudging blush on his cheeks gave more than enough away.

"Well, what are you doing out here anyway, huh, normie?" he sputtered, trying to regain his confidence you so easily stole. "I at least have a good reason for being up this late."

"First of all, nobody in the whole world except you would call League a good reason to be up late," you put quotes on "good reason". "And second, I'm taking a, uh, late night stroll. Helps me sleep."

Idia let out a laugh and leaned against the vending machine.

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard," he scrutinized, making you huff in anger. "What do you have to hide?"

You mumbled something under your breath that Idia had to strain to hear.

"Come again?"

"I was getting a Monster too!" you yelled, frustrated with Idia and with your own bad habits. You interrupted him before his own smug grin could spread too far. "But I was studying! We are not the same, Shroud!"

"No, absolutely not," Idia shook his head patronizingly. You glared at him though it did little to invoke the anxiety he was usually such a slave to. "No one would ever dare suggest that your sleep schedule is just as cracked as mine."

"Whatever. This was stupid," you muttered, turning away from Idia and the vending machine. You waved your hand dismissively over your shoulder as you walked away. "I'm just going to forget I saw you."

"I don't even get a goodnight?"

"Go cry to your body pillows about it."

You heard him scoff from behind you but you kept walking no matter how badly you wanted to turn around.

"My prince!"

That got your attention. You whirled around and were met with quite a strange sight.

A blue ghostly apparition had her arms wrapped firmly around Idia's neck. His expression was panicked and when he caught your eye, he barely had time to choke out a strangled "help" before the ghost disappeared with him in tow.

You ran to where Idia had just been and spun around, looking for any traces of him or the ghost.

"What the Seven?"

...

*Phantom Bride hijinks ensue*

...

"Absolutely not!"

You flung up your hands in protest of the idea Crowley has suggested.

"Y/N, we are the only remaining students without an overwhelming commitment," Riddle sighed, having predicted that you wouldn't like the idea of dressing up and rescuing your sworn enemy. "It is our duty to save our fellow classmates."

"Nuh-uh, no way!" you huffed in annoyance and turned to Ace with your hands on your hips. "You don't like this either, right?"

"No, I don't but what choice do we have?" Ace shrugged, already won over by Crowley's promises. "The rest of us are going but if you want to miss out on all the fame and glory, be my guest."

"Fame and glory, henchman!" Grim repeated excitedly. He was practically bouncing up and down at the idea of being on television. Before you could respond, Crowley leaned over to whisper in your ear so no one else could hear.

"If you don't, I'm cutting your allowance."

You scoffed in offense at his threat.

"Hey, I need that! Grim eats for a family of 6 all by himself!" you protested. Crowley just clapped his hands together and smiled "generously".

"Then you'd better hop into that suit, eh, prefect?"

You grumbled complaints all the way to the dressing room.

"There had be some high stakes compensation for this," you thought to yourself as you buttoned your suit jacket.

...

"I object!"

All heads snapped to you as you kicked open the cafeteria doors with Ace and Grim in tow. The courtiers advanced on you but with Ace's bouquet and Grim's fire, the pair made quick work of them.

While they were fighting, you scanned the room to assess the situation as best you could on such short notice. You saw the previous "suitors" frozen still in the corner, most of whom wore a permanent scowl. You saw a frighteningly beautiful phantom in a white dress, her cheeks puffed up with annoyance, and next to her was...

"Seven, have mercy..."

The words left your mouth before you could think. Though, at that moment, you weren't thinking of much beyond the sight in front of you.

You had never seen Idia's hair pulled back like that. In fact, you'd never seen him in anything except his signature puffy coat, but you had to admit he cleaned up really nicely. Black wasn't the most traditional of wedding colors but the gloomy detailing suited him. Of course, he would've looked a lot better if he weren't shaking in his polished dress shoes.

"How dare you interrupt my wedding?!" the phantom yelled, stamping her foot. The courtiers stopped fighting to let her speak. "This is my special day! I want to marry my prince charming!"

"And you will!" you assured, holding your hands out to show you meant no harm. The phantom raised an eyebrow, giving you permission to speak. "If you would, Miss..."

"Eliza," she finished.

"Miss Eliza. I understand that these foolish suitors have all been vying to steal you away from your beloved," you shot a pointed glare at the failed attempts, most of whom rolled their eyes at your theatrics. "But all I ask is that you hear me out."

Eliza looked at you skeptically before nodding slightly.

"Thank you, princess," you bowed your head in reverence and took a deep breath, trying to keep a calm composure as you mentally scrambled for a good argument. "You don't want to marry this man."

"And I suppose you want to marry me instead?"

"Though it would be an honor, that is not my suggestion." For once, all the princess movies you watched as a kid were coming in handy. "I simply mean to imply that this," you gestured to Idia. "is not your prince. He's a selfish, entitled, insensitive a$$hole with a gaming addiction."

Idia gasped in offense at every insult. The disbelief on his face nearly made you break character but you continued improvising. Ace had covered his mouth with his hand to stop from laughing out loud.

"What I mean to say is that he's a stupid jerk and, uh," you stuttered, wracking your brain for how else to convince Eliza to surrender. She didn't look convinced by your performance thus far so you begrudgingly decided it was time to bring out the big guns of rom-com cliche. "He's my stupid jerk."

"What?!"

The yell was repeated by Eliza, Ace, and most importantly, Idia. You desperately wanted to tease him for the splotchy red blush covering his face but you knew that you looked just as ridiculous and flustered.

"You heard me, princess. I love him despite his many flaws." Your voice was shaking but Eliza's expression seemed to have lightened. You poignantly avoided looking at Idia, though you could see the bright pink of his hair flaring up in your peripheral. "We may have hated each other for as long as I can remember, but I couldn't help but fall for him. I'm sorry, Eliza but I just can't let him marry you without knowing that I'm in love with him!"

Now you looked Idia directly in the eye. You sincerely hoped he knew you weren't serious, though to be perfectly honest, you didn't know if you were serious. Sure, the romance trope exaggeration was there but nothing you said was untrue.

Now Eliza's eyes were brimmed with tears. She clasped her hands to her chest as if she were overwhelmed with emotion. She looked between you and Idia and fanned her eyes.

"That's just beautiful," she sobbed, delighted to see a real romance novel unfolding before her. "I could never part the two of you, not when you're so perfect for each other. It's like a real fairytale!"

You held your breath, not wanting to slip up and incur her wrath again. She dabbed at her teary eyes with a lace handkerchief one of her courtiers had supplied.

"You're right, darling! I can't marry someone with such a love story ahead of them!" She snapped her fingers and Idia's chains were released. He took a deep breath and tripped over himself getting as far from Eliza as he could. He attempted to hide behind you, grabbing your arm like a frightened child. Eliza just giggled. "Aren't they so cute, Puffy? I just adore enemies to lovers!"

As soon as Eliza released the spell on the other students, you were out the door, not bothering to listen to whatever the puffy ghost seemed to be confessing to the princess. Since Idia seemed to be frozen to the spot, you grabbed his hand and dragged him all the way back to the Ignihyde dorm.

The silence went into for too long. You were about to open your mouth to break it when Idia beat you to it.

"That was, uh, quick thinking back there." It didn't escape your notice how he kept his gaze firmly on the ground in front of him. "For a second, I almost thought you were being serious."

He cursed under his breath, silently wishing he hadn't said anything in the first place. You chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of your neck.

"Being good at deceiving people isn't exactly something to be proud of," you sheepishly admitted. You looked at him for a split second before looking away again. "And for what it's worth, I wasn't lying about everything."

Idia didn't have time to say anything before the rosy pink glow on the tips of his hair gave him away. You held back a chuckle at his bashfulness.

"It's true that you are a selfish, entitled, insensitive a$$hole with a gaming addiction."

You couldn't keep in your laughter as Idia physically deflated. He pouted at you as you wiped a joyful tear from your eye.

"Quit laughing! As if getting kidnapped wasn't bad enough, I had to deal you pretending like you loved me!" Idia scoffed, his cheeks still flushed with what you assumed was frustration. "My energy bar is already at low so can you just drop it?"

You put your hands up in surrender, confused by his suddenly defensive demeanor.

"I'm sorry, jeez! I didn't know you hated me so much that even the idea of me having feelings for you is so physically revolting," you tried to keep your tone teasing and light but you couldn't help feeling disappointed, even though you knew he'd never liked you.

"I never said that!" Idia insisted defensively. You rolled your eyes and turned to leave, your smirk falling as soon as he couldn't see you. "For the record, I wouldn't care if you liked me!"

"Good because I don't!" You threw your hands up in frustration and started back towards the main campus.

"Wait!"

You turned around, expecting Idia to say something even more condescending. What was shocking was how sheepish he looked. It wasn't an uncommon sight to see Idia Shroud hunched over and sulking but he looked regretful not just anxious.

"I don't hate you, Y/N," he mumbled, nervously rubbing his arm. "I just... don't know how to act in this kind of situation IRL."

"What situation?"

He opened his mouth to speak but shut it again. He repeated that process a few times before his face was so red you thought he was going to explode.

"Idia?"

"Having... Feelings. For you," he finally managed to sputter out. He really wished he was wearing his hoodie so he could disappear into it. "Dating sims make love look so easy but you don't have a heart meter and I'm too much of a coward to get daily interactions."

"You mean, that you..." You were so shocked you could barely form words. Idia settled for hiding behind the collar of his suit jacket. You giggled while thinking that he kind of looked like a turtle in it's shell when he tucked into his jacket. "You like me? For real?"

"For real. I didn't even consider myself a romanceable until you got isekai-ed into our world and now I'm at 8 hearts for you." He was internally praying that you understood his niche video game references and didn't think he was a total dweeb. "If you meant a word of what you said to Eliza, would you, maybe, consider making it 10 hearts?"

He closed his eyes, bracing for your reaction. When he heard you step closer, he had expected a slap in the face, but definitely not for you to grab his hands gently.

"And where's my bouquet, huh?" you teased, though you couldn't keep a giddy smile from creeping onto your lips. You laughed as Idia's hair seemed to flare up in a burst. He looked at you in shock and adoration as you smiled. "I want a proper proposal, weaboo."

"We could, um," Idia gulped, trying to find the right words with you staring at him so tenderly. "Co-op on my farm in Stardew and then I'd take you to the pier or somewhere more, uh, romantic."

You smiled and extended your arm to him jokingly. He took your arm and covered his blushing face with the other hand. You giggled as his shyness and gestured for him to lead to way to his gaming room.

"Sounds perfect."