#I went to school as always [just without my phone or music]

[hizznbyte]

I Survived […Now What?]

Hello everynyan, Captain Neri speaking. I gotta set the record straight and clear up some… confusion about what happened on the night of January 29th.

Do be warned, this post may be long and will mention things like abuse, violence, self-inflicted harm, mental episodes and trauma and all that fun stuff. So if you’re sensitive to those kinds of things I’d suggest you sit this one out. No skin off my back, just make sure to take care of yourself!

I guess I gotta preface this by saying that I… was very hesitant to post this. I think I owe some kind of explanation, but..? I worry that this will come off ventish -which I guess it is- and I don’t really enjoy venting to people on the internet and subjecting them to my fucked up mental state. Even my mutuals who I call my friends.. don’t know me really. It’s weird, over sharing like this. It feels selfish of me, to come crying to random people out here who only really came for funny art and memes… but then again, this is a personal blog. I’ve been healing and using this very Tumblr blog to heal. And my mutuals who are the sweetest people ever have been so important in that journey. And aside from Yax, the people who I go to vent to in private? It feels like they won’t listen, like I’m being continuously shut out and ignored, even when I’m struggling to even wake up in the morning [so much for being everyone’s therapist…] I don’t know who will care listen but if you are, thank you.

Y’know, growing up poor in a family that could barely afford a proper house taught me something. Something I can’t put into words, but it’s an experience. A humbling on maybe but not one I’d really wish upon others, let alone my worst enemy. Because we struggled a lot, and that caused some stress and fighting.

I don’t like using the word poor to describe my family though, because the first thing that comes to most people’s minds is a group of homeless people begging on the side of the road you kind of tilt your head at and pity. We aren’t broke by any means, we can still afford nice stuff every once in a while, it’s just at the expense of proper living.

So I’ve always been financially dependent on my parents. And I guess, dependent on them for everything [they are my parents after all]. I try my best to help out but.. someone like me? It seems impossible. They have control over most of my personal possessions and money, so it’s not like I can ever run away. It isn’t easy. I live with them, and in turn I should at least respect them… right?

Strict, conservative, religious parents and some kid like me. Was there ever anything more ironic? If they knew half of what you guys knew about me, I think I’d be on the streets. I love my family… I love my parents.. but it’s not an easy thing to do. Sometimes I feel like I hate them. I sometimes I feel like they hate me.

I think in an older post I made some offhand comment about my dad being the source of most of my issues. That’s still true. Always has been. I want to say he’s nice, he sometimes is, can be at least, and other times he’s so so cruel. I don’t know anyone in my family that isn’t a victim. Sometimes I think he’s actually a good person, and then a switch flips and suddenly he’s been replaced by a completely different person. And it hurts to see. One time he got super sick with Covid and I guess me and my siblings were being annoying, so he threatened to stab us all with a knife he was waving around. He doesn’t recall. I do, that’s stuck with me for a while. I don’t trust to be around him in the kitchen anymore. With him, you never know what to expect. He can get mad over the most trivial things, like if you sigh too deeply or close the door wrong. Was I being disrespectful when I did that? Under his roof, it feels like walking on eggshells all while playing Russian roulette.

So I guess I should’ve been more careful where I walk.

But he was getting on my nerves and I impulsively pushed his buttons to get back at him. It was really quick [can’t say what] but it’s not like I yelled at him or cussed him out or even set a finger on him really. I was in my own room, and he was in his. And just like that I messed up because he’s coming over and chasing me into my brother’s room before beating at me and trying to pull me out of the house. He’s yelling at me and calling me names [Anjing. Indonesian word for dog. He spat the word like it was a fucking slur. He might as well have called me a bitch] and saying I don’t deserve to live, to be alive. He’s yelling at me to get out of his house and never come back, that I’m not his kid anymore and that i should be out on the streets.

My baby brother is watching it unfold. He’s following his father’s steps. He’s yelling at me too.

He asks me for my phone and takes it and hides it away. I’m surprised he didn’t just throw it on the floor and break it right there and then, like he did so long ago. He probably would’ve honestly. But I’m on the floor and sweaty and bruised mess, trying my damn hardest not to burst out crying like the bitch I am.

My mom just looks down on me and doesn’t just rub salt in the wound, she lathers it. She tells me to apologize, looks at me like I’m crazy. I love my mom, I really do, and I wish I could say she’s nicer and more lenient than my dad, but that’s not right. It doesn’t take much but sometimes she’s just as bad, if not worse than he is. And worst of all? She’s a fucking coward. I can’t say I blame her really, looking at the situation we’re in, but it makes me wonder just how much I actually mean to her.

It doesn’t take long for them to go to sleep. I’m sitting on the floor in my brother’s room [Fritz btw, he’s my older brother] and before he can say some stupid thing he’ll regret, I tell him to go to bed and ask to borrow his phone. First thing I think of is my phone and everyone waiting behind the screen thinking I’ve just gone to bed for the night. Usually he’d hate for anyone to look at his phone, let alone use it, but Fritz told me his password and had me log on to his discord account. That’s when I started frantically texting Yax.

I’m scared. I don’t know what to do or where to go. He’s already hurt me and I KNOW he can and will try to kill me. I’ve always had that feeling oh so long ago, that if I died it’d either be by his hands or my own. And I’m too much of a coward to really try. He isn’t. I heard him loud and clear the first time. And the many times after that. So I’m texting Yax and that’s when I start crying like a baby. Cause I’m scared that when I die she’ll be confused and worried for me and there will be no one to tell her the news till it’s too late.

So thats where the messages she sent out on Tumblr [on my behalf] came from. I just wanted everyone to know how much I love them and appreciate what they did for me. I didn’t intend on causing panic or whatever. Whatever Yax wrote in those messages specifically I’m unaware of nor had any control over.

I need to clarify this so people will stop asking: There was nothing else I could do. If I called the police or CPS or some shit I’d just cause even more trouble for my entire family, and they’d never forgive me. I have siblings I care about. I’m not going to destroy their lives to deal with my stupid shit. I couldn’t straight or pack my shit and leave either. They wanted to kick me out of their house yes, but they’d make sure they took everything from me before I left. It all belongs to them after all. No money no phone no fucking clothes in the middle of winter. I would’ve left right there and then for Yax’ place if not for that, and if not for the fact that it was the middle of the night and she lives farther away from me than my own school. I really fought back the urge to yell at her to come pick me up. Aside from her I have virtually no one else. No other family [they all live in Indonesia] and no one else I trust. Like I said, I was dependent on my parents to survive.

Just like that I’m stuck in this fucking hellhole.

It’s so very long before he finally goes into a deep sleep, skipping over the part where he tells my younger sister Fizzi that I mean nothing to him loudly enough that I hear it from the other room. And I’m scared for my life. I’m scared of what he’ll do to me when he wakes up. But I’m not sleeping on the goddamn floor of my brother’s bedroom so I sneak out, use the bathroom for like an hour and crawl back into my bed. I feel safe, if only for a while. And I’m just so so fucking tired.

But I don’t let my guard down. I’m hiding under the covers with one eye open and peeping through. And with every disturbance to the silence outside I’m holding my breath and praying and begging to god that it’s not him. That he hasn’t woken up. Only god knows what he’d do if he had. I barely got any sleep that night since I was up for hours. It’s not like I’m not already used to that, I am an insomniac after all, but I was fighting so hard to get a minute of peace. I just wanted to sleep.

And maybe when I wake up it’ll all just be a bad dream.

Maybe they still love me. Maybe I didn’t fuck up.

But the morning after is the same as always.

[wethotcrazy]

CAN'T CONTROL IT

pairing: Franco Colapinto x Fem! Driver! Reader

word count: 739

just something a little short and sweet for franco colapinto. also i think the can't control their mouth and can't control their face would suit him well?! idk bro

The F1 social media team had a new favorite hobby: catching YN's reactions to everything Franco Colapinto did.

It started during pre-season testing in Bahrain. Franco, fresh in his Williams racing suit, had spun on his installation lap – a rookie mistake that had the paddock chuckling. The TV director, whether by instinct or divine intervention, cut immediately to YN in the Alpine garage.

Her expression was poetry in motion: eyes rolling skyward, lips pressed together to suppress a smile, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I can't believe this" and "that's my idiot" in one fluid movement.

The clip went viral within hours.

"Have you seen this?" Franco bounded into the Alpine hospitality area, phone already extended. "'Every Time YN Dies Inside Watching Franco Colapinto: Testing Edition' – they even put sad violin music over your faces!"

YN didn't need to look. She'd already seen the compilation – a masterfully edited collection of her various reactions to Franco's testing adventures. Her personal favorite was the slow-motion zoom on her face when he'd described his first F1 car as "spicy."

"I'm starting to think you do these things on purpose," she muttered, but her treacherous face was already softening at his enthusiasm.

"Maybe I just like seeing your reactions," he winked, dropping into the seat beside her. "Remember in F3 when you said your face wasn't that expressive?"

"Remember in F2 when you said you'd learned to think before speaking?"

His laugh echoed through the hospitality area. "Some things never change, no?"

The Australian GP brought new material for the ever-growing collection of "YN Can't Control Her Face" content. As Alpine's reserve driver, she was in the garage when Franco scored his first F1 points – a remarkable P8 in a chaotic race.

His radio message was pure, unfiltered Franco: "P8! P8! YN, are you watching? Better than that time in F2 when you said I'd never score points because I was too busy talking!"

The cameras found her instantly: pride blooming across her features before she could school them into professional neutrality.

"Every time they show your face, the comments explode," Esteban teased later. "I think you've got more screen time than some of the actual drivers."

YN groaned. "Don't remind me. Someone made a TikTok trend out of my different 'Franco Reactions.'"

"At least you're not 'Can't Control His Mouth' Colapinto," Pierre chimed in. "Did you hear him in the press pen? He spent five minutes explaining how you once bet him he couldn't qualify top 10 without talking on team radio."

"Did he mention he lost that bet?"

"No, but your face when they asked you about it said everything."

Monaco was where things reached new heights. Franco, running in P6 during practice, had been providing commentary that somehow always circled back to YN:

"YN's watching, no? Tell her this is how you take the hairpin properly—" Franco spoke through team radio confidently before scraping through the hairpin.  "Ah. Maybe not like that."

The camera cuts to YN's perfect face-palm, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I knew it" and "why am I even surprised" in one swift motion.

The resulting clip went viral on Tiktok and became F1's most-watched social media post of the weekend.

"You know what I think?" Franco asked one evening, as they shared takeaway in the quiet of the paddock after everyone else had left. The cameras were finally off, but YN's face was as expressive as ever in the dim light.

"That's a dangerous start to any conversation with you."

He grinned, nudging her shoulder. "I think you like that I can't control my mouth."

"And what makes you say that?" she asked, trying and failing to keep her expression neutral.

"Because every time I talk about you, you make this face – like you're trying not to smile but can't help it. It's my favorite one."

"I do not have a special face for when you talk about me."

"Si, you do! You're making it right now!"

She threw a napkin at him, but her smile – soft and genuine and completely uncontrolled – gave her away.

The next day, during the drivers' briefing, Alex caught Franco staring at YN with an expression that mirrored all of hers – soft and fond and entirely unguarded.

The photo went viral with the caption: "Looks like neither of them can control anything anymore 💕"

[queenofthekings]

𝓢𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮

Summary: Your story of survival in New York, and the promise you made to Eric.

Author’s note: If I get anything wrong about New York, pls don't yell at me I'm just a Brit who's never been and is relying on the movie and my friends for help lmao. Special think you to @littlexdeaths for helping me with this, without you I probably wouldn't have gotten this finished. And if any of you see a reference to The Enemy, no you don't.

CW: 18+, fluff, descriptions of injuries, horror, spoilers for a quiet place day one.

Word count: 1.5k

Tagging: @espressomunson.

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

You’d first met Eric in class, his accent being the first thing you noticed about him. Like him, you’d travelled far to attend law school in New York and both of you would talk frequently after classes about life back home and how different New York was compared to it.

The more you got to know each other, the more romance blossomed between you. He would always wait for you before class and go in with you, sitting beside you just so he could brush his fingers against your hand or whisper something funny into your ear to distract you.

You were expecting him to ask you out on a date, but then the world fell apart.

When it started, you were with a couple of your classmates, just laughing and joking around and then it stopped.

You barely had time to react before something akin to a bomb exploding just down the street caused everyone to start screaming and running all around you. Your lungs and eyes were burning from the smoke, and you could barely see but all you knew was that you needed to run. You had no idea where your friends were, but you hoped they were just hiding somewhere, and you’d see them soon as you darted into a bookstore.

With shaking hands, you got out your phone and dialled Eric’s number, silently praying he’d pick up only it went straight to voicemail. “Eric, it’s me. If you get this, stay where you are; I will come for you, okay? I will come find you. I’m so fucking scared right now, but I hope you’re still out there and you’re safe.”

You wanted to tell him you loved him, but you were too scared to, what if he didn’t feel the same way? God, feelings were hard when the world was ending.

You ended the call and looked around you, trying to find anything of value, picking up a map and a small nightlight you could use as a torch. You weren’t entirely sure where you could go but staying where you were clearly wasn’t an option. Shoving your things into your backpack, you hesitantly walked back out onto the now quiet street, trying your best not to walk on any broken glass or rubble.

Tears began running down your cheeks as you walked, but you didn’t bother wiping them away. You had to come to terms with the idea that you were the only one left; your friends were gone and so was Eric, even if that thought killed you.

As you walked, you wished you could listen to your music to drown out the silence with the occasional bursts of screaming but you knew it was too dangerous, you had to be alert at all times.

As night started to fall, it began pouring with rain and even through your hooded jacket, you were soaked through. You ran towards some shelter as fast as you could, you ended up finding an abandoned church and slipped inside the door as quietly as you could.

Being careful to avoid the puddle from the hole in the roof and the massive hole in the floor, you made your way to one of the pews and finally rested.

Sleep didn’t come easy for you that night, but you managed to get maybe a couple of hours, better than nothing, you supposed.

In the morning, you looked over your map to find the best route to South Street. It wasn’t going to be easy, but you knew it had to be done, even with the number of blisters you’d gotten on your feet from walking so much the day before.

Sliding off your shoes, you assessed the damage and wondered if you should trek out to find a pharmacy to get some band aids but just as you were about to put your shoes back on, you heard a commotion from the hole in the floor, with two people climbing out of it.

You froze as you slowly made your way over towards them, your heart pounding in your ears as you saw Eric. You couldn’t quite believe your eyes as you got down onto your knees next to Eric’s head, a shaky hand on his shoulder.

His eyes opened and instantly locked with yours, slowly getting up to embrace you, even if he was soaking wet. You tried your best not to cry but after everything you’d both been through, you couldn’t hold your emotions back and neither could he; you both held each other and cried quietly.

Eric refused to let you go, and you refused to let him go – even for a second. You slept together wrapped up in each other’s arms that night, finally getting some decent sleep at last.

In the morning, you could tell Sam wasn’t doing well and both you and Eric offered to go get her medication, Eric refusing to let you go. Reluctantly, you allowed him to go but not without giving him a kiss on his cheek, a silent promise that you’d see each other again.

You stayed with Sam, initially playing tic-tac-toe together but eventually getting to talk about each other’s lives before everything went down. Went to school together, had a massive crush on him you wrote on the notebook, causing both of you to laugh silently.

“He talked about you a couple times,” Sam whispered. “Always wanted to find you, now it makes sense why.”

You weren’t entirely sure what that meant, but in your heart you hoped it meant that he felt the same way about you. You kicked yourself for letting him go with just a kiss on the cheek and not a proper love confession, just more reasons to make sure he came back safely with Frodo in tow.

The four of you stayed in the church until the next morning, deciding to venture out to find Patsy’s. You and Eric never let go of each other’s hands, not for a single second.

But when you were out in the open, you’d knocked over an abandoned suitcase, the sound echoing throughout the silent streets. All four of you froze for a moment, before you knew you had to lead the monsters away to give Eric and Sam a chance.

Pressing a kiss to Eric’s lips, you pushed him away and sprinted away in another direction, screaming as much as you could to draw them towards you. It didn’t even fully occur to you that you could die in the process, but as long as Sam, Frodo and Eric made it out, that’s all you cared about.

That was the last time Eric saw you, saving his life. And all he could think about in that moment was how much time he’d wasted not telling you how he felt. And now, you were gone.

By the time Eric got onto the final boat with Frodo, he finally allowed himself to cry, to mourn over the loss of both you and Sam. At least he still had Frodo to comfort him, he closed his eyes and just stopped to listen to the purring cat in his arms until it jumped out of them. His eyes opened instantly, feeling himself on the verge of a panic attack as he looked around for that black and white cat.

Until he saw him at someone’s feet, his eyes filled with tears, clouding his vision but he could tell the person was walking towards him. Wiping away his tears, he got a good look at the person. He blinked several times, not quite believing his eyes.

It was you.

Battered and bruised, a long cut down the left side of your face, but still you.

You smiled once Eric noticed you, the cut across your face contorting a little so it almost looked like a half grimace. You took a seat next to him, handing back Frodo. “Hi,” you said, your voice a little croaky after not being used in what seemed like forever.

“Hey,” he said back, his voice just as croaky. “I thought I’d lost you, too.”

You shook your head, petting Frodo. “I was almost a goner,” you pointed to your face. “But I got saved at the last second, I don’t even remember by who. I thought I’d died, but my face hurt too much. Couldn’t even see out of my left eye at first, but I knew I had to get to here.”

“You still look beautiful,” he moved a stray hair away from your face, not even flinching like most people did at seeing your cut.

You pulled a face, letting out a small hiss in pain as you forgot the cut for a moment before you rested your head on his shoulder. “So what happens now?”

Eric sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I don’t know, but one thing I know for sure; I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head once again. “Don’t you worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got all I want right here; I have you and we have Frodo.”

“Good. Even then, I’ll follow you wherever you wanna go,” he whispered, capturing your lips with his in a gentle kiss.

[clarkeyhill]

Fit Checks | George Clarke

It was a chilly Saturday afternoon when I decided to post my latest fit check on Instagram. I had been experimenting more with my style lately, and today’s outfit felt like a winner: a cropped puffer jacket, wide-leg jeans, and platform boots that made me feel taller than I actually was. I paired it with some gold jewelry and topped it off with a casual caption: “Saturday vibes ✨.”

I didn’t think much of it when I posted the story. Sure, I usually got a few DMs or compliments from friends hyping me up, but this time, something unexpected happened.

As I scrolled through my notifications, I saw a reply from Georgeclarkeey.

George.

We followed each other on Instagram, but I’d never thought much about him. We went to the same high school a while back and had the occasional like-for-like interaction over the years. He was handsome, though, in that effortlessly cool way—dark curly hair, a strong jawline, and an easy smile in every picture. I had always kind of noticed him but never said anything.

His message was simple but flattering:

“Okayyyy, you absolutely killed this fit. Effortless.”

I smirked at my phone.

“Effortless? Took me like 45 minutes to pick this out,” I replied.

He responded almost immediately:

“Worth every second. You’re putting us all to shame over here.”

From there, the conversation just… flowed. George was funny, way funnier than I remembered. He joked about how he needed help picking his own outfits and said, “All I do is throw on a hoodie and call it a day.” I told him he should branch out, maybe try layering or accessorizing, and he replied with, “Alright, stylist. When’s my first session?”

“Book me for Thursday,” I joked. “First consultation is free.”

“Deal. But if I get too fly, it’s on you,” he teased back.

-----

Over the next few weeks, George became a regular in my DMs. At first, he kept sliding up on my stories, usually complimenting an outfit or reacting to a photo of my coffee runs or city views. But soon, our conversations got longer and deeper. We started talking about our days, sharing music recommendations, and swapping random memes late at night.

One night, he messaged me out of the blue:

“Okay, so when are you going to let me compliment you in person? This texting thing is cool and all, but I feel like we’d actually vibe in real life.”

My stomach flipped.

“Are you asking me out, George?”

“Depends. Are you saying yes?”

I smiled at my screen before typing, “I guess that depends on where you’re taking me.”

He suggested a cozy coffee shop downtown, and a few days later, we met up.

When I walked into the café, I spotted him instantly. He was sitting by the window, wearing a knitted jumper and converse that were clean enough to tell me he cared, but not so pristine that it felt like he was trying too hard.

“Wow,” he said as I walked over. “You really are as stylish as your IG makes you out to be.”

“And you’re taller than I expected,” I shot back, grinning.

The banter we’d had over texts translated perfectly in person. We talked for hours—about everything and nothing—and I realized how easy it was to be around him. He wasn’t just funny; he was thoughtful, attentive, and had this way of making me feel like I was the only person in the room.

---

After that first coffee date, we started hanging out more. Sometimes we’d grab food, other times we’d just walk around the city, talking about life and laughing until our cheeks hurt. Every time we met, I noticed little things about him: the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, how he’d hold doors open without making a big deal out of it, and how he always seemed genuinely interested in whatever I had to say.

Eventually, our hangouts started to feel like something more. One night, as we sat on a park bench after grabbing ice cream, he turned to me and said:

“You know, this started with me hyping you up on Instagram, but I feel like it’s turned into so much more.”

I looked at him, heart racing. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.”

He hesitated for a second, then smiled. “So, can I officially call this a thing? Like, you and me?”

I couldn’t help but grin back. “I’d like that.”

From then on, we weren’t just the occasional DM or casual meetup—we were us. It all started with a fit check, but it turned into something I never saw coming: a connection that felt natural, real, and just right.

-

🫶🏻

[lecl3rcw]

MAGIC IN YOUR VEINS

pairings: Charles Leclerc x sister!reader

summary: Charles comforts his favorite sibling.

warnings: badly translated French, sibling fights, Arthur being a lil mean, just a little tho.

author’s note: this is a lil disappointing, also Thankyou guys so much for 50 followers💗

song recs: none:(

————————————————————————

She didn’t know how a small comment of hers escalated to a full blown argument between her and Arthur.

“Arthur you know I didn’t mean it like that!” She tries to defend herself, “Oh cut the bullshit Y/N, you know how I feel when anyone compares me to Charles, you off all people should know” he yells really upset with his sister’s comment.

“I was just joking! I didn’t Intentionally compare you to him” she sighs out, putting her hand on her face, a little distressed. “No you always have to bring this up, and it’s funny because you’re probably the biggest failure out of all 4 of us, Enzo is starting his own business, Charles is a F1 driver, I’m an F2 driver, meanwhile you can’t even pass a grade 11 exam” he says, finally finishing his rant getting the anger and frustration of his stressful week out.

Her mouth was wide open as tears were visible in his eyes, sure her and Arthur exchanged insults but never had they fought this seriously. “Why are you crying? Cant handle it when it’s directed at you?” He says, “I’m sorry Arthur” she whispered before running to her room and locking the door.

She felt guilty, she wasn’t upset at him because he gave her a taste of her own medicine but it did sting, hearing someone she genuinely looked up to call her a failure was a statement she could never shake off. Although it hurt, it also made her realize that he was right. Once Arthur was cooled down, he did apologize to the girl and she did as well, but despite saying sorry, his words rang in her head. She vowed to herself that she was going to pass this test without anyone’s help no matter what.

“Do you guys know what’s been up with your sister?” Pascale asks placing food on the table, “What do you mean Maman?” Charles asks looking up from his phone, his next race was 3 weeks away so he was happy to spend time with his family, “I don’t know, she seems really distant” their mutters, “I heard she has a big test tomorrow , maybe she’s stressed out?” Lorenzo said, “yeah perhaps, but I would appreciate if you guys could talk to her and make her feel better” she says, the two sibling nodded their heads.

Charles was walking up to his bedroom but he noticed soft music coming from his sister’s room, curiously, he walked in only to find his sister’s head resting on the desk, the dim light of the lamp was the only thing lighting her room up, her papers scattered across her desk. He softly smiled at her, he placed a sweet kiss on her head before turning the light off and letting his sister sleep.

The next morning the girl jerked up in panic, she wasn’t supposed to be sleeping, she was supposed to be preparing for her test. “I’m so fucked” she says her hands on her head. She checks the time and she quickly gets ready to go to school.

“Hey Chérie” Pascale says, “Goodmorning maman” she says rubbing her eyes tiredly, “you alright?” Pascale asks the girl in concern, “I’m good ma, I was supposed to study but I fell asleep” she says, “Oh you’ll do great my love” she says as she goes to give her daughter a tight hug, being in her mother’s arms bright the younger girl a lot of comfort, “I love you Maman, I should be leaving” she says breaking the hug, she gave her a smile before heading out the door.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, after giving her test she actually felt confident, the smile that the past few weeks stole from her made its way back on her face, now all she had to do was wait till 5:00 pm for her results. Charles texted her saying that he could pick her up to which she happily responded.

“Hi Chérie! How was your day” Charles asks, “it was alright” she responds, the siblings talked about irrelevant things the rest of the way, jamming to music, Charles even bought Y/N some food as the two shared the meal. She felt really happy that Charles wanted to spend time with her as he was such a busy man. Unfortunately for her tho, her interactions with Arthur had died down since he was never home, either with his friends or with Carla, which made her really sad.

It was 5:03 when the siblings made it home, “I’m gonna go check my score Charles, I’ll be right back!” She says, “wait! Bring your laptop here, we will check it together” Charles says wanting to be as supportive as ever to which she was more than thankful for.

“Ok…so what did you get” He asks her, the minute she looks her heart drops to her stomach, she felt nauseous, the exhaustion of so many weeks of not sleeping and eating properly catching up to her, she was upset beyond repair, and Arthur’s voice calling her a failure started echoing In her mind.

“I’m a failure” she says mindlessly, before burrying her face in her hands. “What? No you’re not” He says grabbing the laptop. “Oh my god. I’m a screwup” she says as sobs start racking her body, Charles immediately wraps his arms around the girl tightly, her face still in her hands. “I’m so dumb, I studied for nothing” she says as places her head against his shoulder.

“Y/N you’re not a failure, who told you that” Charles says caressing her hair, “It dosent matter Charles, the test results tell me everything I need to know” she says tears still running down her face, “why can’t I be more like you, or Arthur, or Enzo” she wails out, “You’re not a failure Y/N, everyone has ups and downs, you can’t base your worth on test scores, or people’s opinions” he says tightening his hold on her, she stayed quiet wanting him to continue. “You can’t be perfect all the time Chérie, and whoever told you that you’re a failure is probably a failure themselves” Charles says getting a little mad that someone (Arthur) called his sister a failure.

“But-” “no buts, You tried Y/N and that’s what matters, you didn’t give up, everyone has bad days, but you can’t let a test score hold this much power over you” he finishes, she sniffles wiping her nose, “you’re right, I’m sorry, maybe this was a bit of an overreaction” she says, feeling a bit embarrassed, “No never apologize for showing emotions, you were disappointed and that’s ok, use this disappointment as motivation, you’re going to kick that next test’s ass” he says shaking her shoulders as she lets out a laugh. “ I love you Charlie” she mumbled giving him a final hug that he reciprocated, “I love you more” he says. “Now tell me, who said you were a failure? I’ll give them a piece of my mind, I’ll get Arthur on them too” he says confidently,

“………”

[kayentokk]

Easy Peasy Sukuna Squeezey(Part 1);A Lot More Ice Cream

Pairing;Sukuna x Fem! Reader

Summary;Sukuna always knows what to do when you’re upset, but this time he thinks he’s gonna need a lot more ice cream to fix the problem. 

Contains;feelings, some sadness, cheating mentions, angst kinda (not in a death way), comfort(Sukuna comfort), 🥹

wc; 1,261

A/N;uhmmm y’all I think imma make this a series. Cuz I wanna drag it out and I have more ideas for this storyline, so bear with me. And I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Series M.list Next

The smell coming from inside was musk, and humid. You could feel it radiating through the door. You knew this was coming, hell this is what you came over here for. But it still hurts like a bitch to know your boyfriend, ex, is in the middle of sex with one of your mutual, ex, friends. 

You were tipped off today by one of your ex’s friends, the only reason he told you was because quote unquote he “can give you a better time than that prick.” At the time you thought, he’s probably not wrong, maybe you’ll even take him up on the offer after this. That’s not likely though. You’re just, rightfully so, in your feelings and feeling angry about the whole situation. 

You still wanted to see for yourself though, so you went to his apartment. You quietly unlocked the door and turned the knob, you just needed to know for yourself. You didn’t want to be privy or see the adulterous, disgusting act. 

As if the clothes, that obviously belonged to him and his little- thing, that were in a trail leading to the bedroom weren’t enough, a loud, keening, high-pitched whine was let out. You didn’t need to see or hear anymore, that was enough. 

You had tried to tried mentally prepare yourself before you got there, deciding to walk there for the commute instead of driving because you could clear your head better, but nothing prepares you for betrayal. And this was betrayal at its finest. 

You placed the keys on the counter, opened the door, and slammed it shut loudly on your way out. You were hoping to startle them, but you’d be long gone before they got a clue. 

You didn’t want to go home, so you didn’t. It’s not like you had anything waiting on you there, besides the memories that were once happy of you and him. And that’s just depressing. 

After walking for a while, you noticed where you were headed. Sukuna’s house. It was only natural to want to go there. Sukuna is your best friend, of sorts. You guys grew up together, you went to the same schools your whole life, and your mothers were best friends. So you guys were destined to be close in some way. 

You stopped yourself right across the street from his complex. All the intrusive thoughts immediately rolled in, what if he has girls over? Or he’s having a party? Or maybe he’s not home?   M-maybe he doesn’t want to-

“Hey,” a gruff voice greets you.

It’s Sukuna. 

He’s in his car, the windows are rolled down and the music is low so that you can hear him, he has a couple of bags in the front seat, he must have just been returning from somewhere. 

“Hellooo? Earth to y/n?”

You snapped out of it, “hey,” you greet him lowly.

“Were you coming to see me?,” he asks reaching for his phone from his back pocket, “I didn’t think I got a message from you.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t know I was coming here either to be honest.”

“Oh…well, are you gonna get in or what? It’s freezing outside and you’re letting all my heat out of the window you psycho.”

It’s cold? Yeah, it is the middle of winter. You hadn’t noticed until he mentioned it. He moved the bags to the backseat without even having to get out of the car, the perks of having long arms, and you got in. It was warm, and your fingers started to defrost.

He parked the car in his designated spot, and you went to get out of the car but not before he stopped you by grabbing the hood of your coat. You turned your head and looked at him. His bright garnet eyes were piercing right through you, and you wanted to break. You wanted to crumble and cry and scream, you hate that look. Like he knows something is wrong. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong? or we jus’ not gonna talk today?” 

Your lip quivers and at that small twitch Sukuna’s face drops. The normal irritated grimace that dawns his face is replaced with something else, something you’ve never seen before. It’s almost a saddening expression, it doesn’t suit Sukuna at all, you think. 

In all the years you guys have been with each other, Sukuna thinks, he’s never seen you look so delicate or fragile. He’s seen you cry over getting a “boo-boo” or “ouchie” when you were small, he’s seen you cry over being reprimanded, hell he’s even seen you cry during your period, but all those things he could fix. A bandaid, a cookies and cream waffle cone, and a movie. Easy peasy, Sukuna squeezey. But a part of him felt like this ouchie would be harder to fix if he could fix it at all. 

“He cheated ‘kuna,” you spoke plainly. It was harder to admit than you thought. You immediately felt repulsed from it.

He didn’t know what to say, he was in utter shock and he wanted to kill the dirty bastard. How could he? You devoted yourself to him and you cared and treated him with all the kindness in your heart. Sukuna was so enraged and he also felt….sad? This wasn’t the usual agitated feeling he got when you were upset, this was different. He knew this was different. You weren’t even crying yet, just sitting silently in pure consciousness. 

You didn’t really want to talk about it if you’re being honest. Your boyfriend-ex, cheated on you. What else was there to say about it? But the silence was killing you.

“You could say something y’know,” you sniffled bringing a hand up to rub your nose. “It’s more embarrassing if you don’t,” you chuckled dryly.

Sukuna, however, didn’t find it funny. Nothing about this was funny. And it was becoming apparent to him, that he’d need a lot more ice cream. 

What do you want him to say though? If he told you he’d kill him that wouldn’t solve the issue or lessen your hurt, If he acts out of character and said sorry you’d just think he’s taking pity on you and he knows you hate that. 

So Sukuna does what he knows best, he “ignores” it. When you were both in your adolescent stage and you were mad at him about something harsh that he probably said that’s what he did. 

He’d still talk to you even if you were ignoring him, which pissed him the hell off by the way, he’d do anything you wanted. And eventually you’d forget why you were mad at him in the first place, it was his way of apologizing. That was the only way he knew how to treat you without you feeling like he’s pitying you.

So he turns off the car, gets out, grabs the bags he put in the back seat, and when he sees you’re still in the car he gives you a nod and says, “come on, we don’t want you to freeze do we?” And you smile, it’s only a fragment of what it normally is, but you smile. And Sukuna feels relief, of course if you wanted to talk about it he’d listen. But right now, it’s freezing outside and he doesn’t think a car is the right place to have that conversation. All the people passing by while you’re hyperventilating and crying over your jerk of an ex is not exactly what you want to happen either.

So you follow him into the apartment. 

@/cafekitsune for the divider

[melgolbach]

LIGHT SHOWER [sam golbach x reader]

a/n: this was requested by a special someone in my inbox (tysm for requesting and reading my work!!)

warnings: angst, cheating, mention of slight sex, cussing, fluff

it was another normal tuesday night with the two famous youtubers, sam and colby. you were invited to their house just to hang out with them and some of their other friends of course. though your boyfriend of the time, daniel, had called you for the past 20 minutes and had spammed your phone with too many messages to count.

you rolled your eyes at your phone, deciding to finally answer him. “yes, dan?” sam perked up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name. his eyes glared at nothing for a second, but quickly switched back to normal when a friend of his called him to set up a ping pong game. “please- hic- could you please come pick me up?” you clenched the bridge of your nose, annoyed that you had to leave early due to your douche of a boyfriend. “send me your address.” you heavily sighed.

you walked over to the coat racket, bringing your jacket and placing it on your body. “well. looks like i’m leaving early tonight guys,” you smiled sadly towards your friends. “no.., please don’t tell me it’s because of your douche-y boyfriend daniel?” devyn whined. “i’ll be the only girl here now.” you noticed sam snapped his head a bit rather quickly when you told them the information. “you’ll have tara arrive in a few, you’ll be fine dev.” you gave her a hug, waving to the others and walking to the door.

sam jogged slightly over to you, “are you sure you’re okay to drive? i’m sober and can easily take you home.” you waved him off, “i’m fine really. i only had a drink, barely. plus i’m out to go get daniel. that little piss of shit is already drunk and it isn’t even nine yet.”

sam huffed at that, “i seriously don’t know why you’re still with him.” your heart hammered at that. “we’re… high school sweethearts, sam. even if i ever wanted to leave him, we live in the same apartment.” sam chucked at that, “you can always stay at ours. i’m pretty sure colby wouldn’t mind, we both love you you know.”

you gave him a small smile. “and i really appreciate it, sam. i’ll text you when we arrive home safely. goodnight.” you gave him a side hug, and departed from the party. you walked to your car and put the destination into your phone and it was ten minutes away.

finally arriving there, it looked to be a sketchy apartment building. your face reeked of disgust by the way it looked, ‘must be a 2 star review. or maybe even lower..’ you shudder as you walked in.

your eyes locked to the lady at the front desk who gave you a weird look, “i’ve never seen you around this part of town. who are you here for?” she asked with a thick accent, you sighed. “my boyfriend.” you responded. she awe’d and went back to whatever the generation type of computer looking was on her desk.

you called daniel twice now, but he had declined. he finally sent you a message two minutes later with floor six and room number 665. you groaned, already knowing that it will smell of frat boys in the apartment and that you’ll have to drag daniel all the way down your car. thank goodness the front parking spot was not taken. as you reached the door, something felt odd.

there was no loud, banging music, and there wasn’t usual girls and guys making out in the corridor the party would be held at. you gulped, knocking on the door. you waited for a minute but no one seemed to be home— though you knew daniel was here since you saw his regular blazer out in the front laying dirty on the floor. ‘gross,’ you thought.

your heart hammered loudly enough for you to hear, and without even thinking you decided to slowly open the wooden brown old door in front of you and take a peek into the room. the hallway light was on and you then heard it. moans. daniel’s moans specifically, and a girls one at that too. it smelt disgusting as well with whatever was living in here. almost vomiting, you held it in together and walked towards the living room where the light was on and you could clearly see daniel getting fucked by two blonde complete naked women. and you snapped.

“what the FUCK,” you screamed. the three heads turn towards you, daniel’s mouth wide open as it was being used by a dildo toy from a women sticking it down his throat. “bb-baby,” he struggled to get out, his hand grabbing towards you. “do not EVER, call me baby. don’t even think for a second you can come back to me or the apartment either.”

you look at the two women who seemed to already be in their thirties, and you looked at them disgusted seeing how daniel was only 25. “we’re done. daniel, have a good life.” before you left, you looked around to see if he had the keys to the apartment and you spotted them scattered on the floor. you picked them up with your pinky, careful to try and not to touch it seeing as it was on the dirty nasty floor in the room with them.

as soon as you got into the lobby, the lady only looked at you and sighed. “i should’ve said it sooner baby, but this apartment is only used to for partners to cheat on their significant other’s and mostly— it’s usually threesomes that are in here.” she gave you a sympathetic look but you only looked at her in disgust, quickly leaving the place.

you got into your car, locking the doors seeing as it was now 10 a clock and you did not want any type of stranger trying to get into it. your eyes were blurry, and you didn’t even know if you could even drive back home let alone if you even wanted to go there.

then, you thought of sam. you bit your lip, contemplating if calling him up would be ruining the party for the others too. but you said ‘fuck it, i need him more than they need him.’ so you dialed in sam’s number, and after a second ring he answered. though you could barely hear him, seeing as the party got louder and music was blasting. “sam,” you hiccuped into the phone.

at the other end of the phone, sam’s eyes widen. he ignored the calls for his name, and rushed out to the window to where it was peaceful and quiet enough to hear you. “hey, hey are you okay? what happened? what did douche bag daniel do to you?” sam asked, bombarding you with questions.

you hiccuped even more, tears finally streaming down your face. “please pick me up, i don’t think i can drive right now at a time like this. i don’t feel safe here either.” you asked him, and even though he knew you didn’t see him, he nodded. “yes of course i’ll pick you up. i’ll get colby to drive his car and i’ll drive yours. where’s the address?” and you sent him the address as soon as he asked for it.

you sat there for a good ten minutes till you saw colby’s car pulling up. he parked next to you, and the two men got out. you were drenched in your own tears, shaking so little but they could still see you were a complete wreck. “i’m gonna fuck him up,” colby rolled his shoulder, walking up to the glass doors but sam immediately stopped him and signaled his head to you. “y-you don’t wanna go in there, trust me that place is nothing but filth.” you got out. your face not knowing what to chose, confusion, disgust, anger, sadness.

colby’s face held sympathy for you, giving you a big hug from the front. “alright. well tell me when you two go to your apartment—“ you cut him off there. “i was wondering if i could still attend the party? i don’t think i wanna go back..” you mumbled, your hand softly tugging on colby’s sleeve. he smiled, “of course you can come. and i’m gladly willingly to let you stay here too of course, in my room…” he wiggled his eyebrows, sam glared at him for that. “or sam’s! or sam’s… i guess.” he shrugged. he peaced the two of you out, getting into his car and driving back to their own apartment.

“i told you, colby wouldn’t have minded.” sam smiled at you. the two of you outside of the side door to your car. “thank you sam really, this means a lot to me.” you hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. but a cough made you jump from it being so quiet outside at night. “the fuck are you doing with sam?” daniel slurred, staggering left and right. “i told you were done, daniel.” you glared at him. sam felt the tension and placed you behind him, his arm wrapped around your waist carefully. “please leave her alone.” sam spoke

daniel looked at him with wide eyes, “don’t tell me what to fucking do with my girlfriend,” he spat, another stagger towards sam. “get in the car,” he whispered into your ear. your eyes widen at when he told you that, but you listened nonetheless. “the fuck are you doing with her?!” daniel shouted, shoving sam. your eyes looked to daniel in horror when he tried to open your door, but sam of course sam pushed him back. “she’s not yours anymore, you fucked up.” sam shouted back, “and you known what? i’m glad you did. she never deserved you. you’re a fucking asshole!” sam shoved him all the way back to the doors and the last push had daniel flat to the floor.

“you’re a dead man when i get to you, samuel.” daniel sneered out, “you’ve done fucked up.” sam started off, “and i am so glad you did. now,” sam looked back at you who was looking through the windows down at them.

“i have her all to my self. and i will treat her so much more better than you ever have and ever will, she’s a queen and you and i both know that. but you fucked up.” sam pushed harshly onto daniel’s chest, his eyes glaring deep into daniel’s green ones. “she isn’t yours anymore.” sam sneered, walking away from the drunk man and getting into the car.

he huffed out, blowing his hair. “well tonight has been crazy.” you didn’t pay attention to him, more to daniel the way how he looked at sam as if he was the devil. you grinned slightly to sam, “what the hell did you say to him?” you laughed lightly.

sam side eyed you with a gaping smile, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back to his apartment “you don’t wanna know sweetheart.” at the mention of that nick name, your heart beat raced up and your cheeks were a bit red but you thanked it was late because if it wasn’t, sam definitely would’ve seen.

by the time you to got to sam and colby’s place, colby texted sam that he threw the party out for you. your heart ached, “you didn’t have to do that colby.” you said as you entered the kitchen where he was, already cleaning up the mess. “they’d be as confused to why you returned with tears down your face. i didn’t want them to bombared you with everything while you’re still trying to comprehend it all.” he smiled at you. you gave him a smile back, hugging him tightly.

“i don’t have any clothes to change to,” you spoke. you were in jeans and a silky sphageti silver top, so you felt uncomfortable in the outfit you picked tonight. “i got some clothes, go ahead and go take a shower if you want too,” sam ruffled your hair and you flipped him off, but thanked him and walked towards the shower.

after your nightly shower routine, you got out and called sam over. “i need underwear,” you breathed out awkwardly, embarrassment all over your face. sam’s face had reddened at that, “uh- uhm, well we don’t have any here… uh i can- hand you over some of my boxers?” he squeaked out. you chuckled nervously, “thanks sam. and a pair of tshirt and some basketball shorts maybe?” he nodded and left you, but came back a minute later. “here you go.” you thanked him once more and got dressed.

you walked out, dressed all in sam’s clothes and colby had spotted you. “wow, now look at that. sam is finally getting the girl,” your eyebrow raised. his face looked in horror as sam looked from behind him with a ‘she doesn’t know yet!’ look. “oh er— you know, kidding! kidding,” he laughed off. “i can help you clean,” you suggested. colby shrugged, “nah sam and i both got it. where are you sleeping by the way?” he asked you.

you totally forgot about that. “sam if you don’t mind…” you trailed off, your eyes towards his room. “of course! you can always use my room if you want. i’ll sleep in the living room.” your heart hammered. “oh! uhm, okay,” you gave him a small smile, then walked into his room.

colby looked at his best friend with a straight face. “dude. she clearly wanted you in there,” he spoke. sam looked at him, “it’s just—, i want to give her some time. as long as she needs. just because as soon as she’s off the market, doesn’t mean she probably wants to date just now.” he mumbled. “yeah but, you could at least comfort her more.” colby smirked. sam rolled his eyes at him, and flipped him off. “i’m gonna go talk to her,” sam spoke. “hey! you need to clean too.” sam waved him off once more.

he knocked slightly on his own white door, opening a crack. he saw you on his bed, comfy with your phone out. “sam,” you smiled. he smiled back. “hi,” he spoke. he closed the door behind him, and sat on his bed next to you. “you know you can sleep here too, it is your bed after all.” you said. sam’s eyes widen, “are you sure? i don’t wanna push you a bit overboard.” you giggled at that, “sam i’m inviting you too. this is YOUR bed.” and so he climbed, he was already in his pajamas and got comfy into the bed.

“i’m sorry about your ex.” he mumbled, playing with his thumbs. “it was bound to happen. he was getting rather annoying this past couple of months, and being such a dick to my friends, and especially to you more often. which i never got,” you scoffed. but you could feel the moment sam froze. “do you want to know what i said to him, when we were fighting?” he asked you.

you looked at him and nodded. “i’ve been thinking about that since we’ve got here.” sam took a deep breath and breathed. “we started fighting about you. i told him how he fucked up, you deserved better. that you are a queen, and he lost the only good queen he’d ever find in this life..” he mumbled, “and that i was glad he lost you.” you looked at him confused, and he looked at you right back.

“i was so glad to hear you finally had broken up with him, because ive liked you for too long.” sam breathed. your breathing came to a halt, shock was written all over your face. “it’s okay if you don’t wanna be a thing or a thing at this moment,” he reassured you. “or if you don’t even like me—“ he was cut off from you, when he felt lips on his.

his eyes widen at that, but soon closed softly. “we can take it slow.” you spoke after you broke the kiss, “please let’s take it both slow. daniel was my ever fist everything, seeing as he was my high school sweetheart. so sam, if you do wish to date me, i want to do it the right way with you.” sam nodded, his head softly placed on yours. “it’s okay if we cuddle though, tonight?” he asked sheepishly, you smiled brightly and giggled just a little bit, “i suppose it’s okay.”

and after a bit more talking, the two of you got into a cute night position. you as the little spoon, and sam as the big spoon, protecting you from anything that would happen.

A/N: it has been MONTHSS since i’ve uploaded a fic, but here is one that was requested! thanks to the one and only anon! tysm :) (even if it took two months because i felt unmotivated and a bit busy at the time)

[thesamoanqueen]

Anatomy of an affair

Warnings: age-gap (but we keep it legal), cheating.

A/N: I was talking to @alyyaanna and the anatomy professor's idea took control, I couldn't resist, so this one for her. It will have a sequel, this is just part 1.

They say the secret of a good relationship is friendship, I had scientifically proven that this wasn't the case being a test subject all my life. Tobert and I had grown up in the same neighborhood in Pendleton South Carolina, two nearby houses, our families loved each other, we went to school together, hung out with the same group of friends, we even broke our arms together – it was his fault –. For everyone we were two soul mates linked, it was inevitable in some way. We had done everything together our whole lives, the most mundane things and the first shameful experiences. Our relationship on paper was destined for success, absolute, overwhelming, our faces under the heading "goal couple", at least until I decided to study medicine in Boston and he stayed in our hometown. Our paths had separated for just three months before he had a bad accident at his uncle's construction company, he had begged me, it had been a tough decision, but I had agreed to come back to support him. But now that I had finally taken control of my life, in my second actual year of studies, Tobert was boycotting everything again.

For the entire previous year I had thought he was trying to distract himself from the void I had left in his life, filling it with trips and nights with co-workers and friends, but looking back I had been kidding myself. Our parents called every day to find out when we were getting married and if I would be home soon, but from him? Oh, well, a few calls, always short, couple of messages, often stupid ones, and a facetime on weekend for some creepy phone sex. He didn't come to visit me, he didn't organize anything when I returned home, for my last birthday he sent me a package with a sweater I suspected he hadn't chosen. And now, after months of tolerating it, I saw him in an IG story with a chick’s ass in his face.

- "Good Lord man!"

- "Sav have you seen? Sav?"

What I could see was that he was even enjoying it! He had the same stupid face of an old man who can't read the newspaper, the one has been in my face since we were fifteen, ending our moments like commercials on TV in his father's garage.

- "What’s with that face? Sav is it everything okay?"

- "Savannah…"

I had felt guilty for wanting to start again and leaving him behind, I was working hard to finish and return home, I had always pushed away the instinct that told me I deserved more and instead he was living his best life without worrying about hiding it. His behaviour was not somekind of abandonment syndrome, it was just one of his bullshit and evidences were everywhere. I was a freking clown, our relationship was a joke I had wanted to believe alone because after so many years it seemed impossible to think of anyone else to me, when he was simply used to having me there at his disposal and now he thought was free. I had wasted my life and almost burned my future…

Realization hit me in the cafeteria, my colleagues staring at me like at some psycopath and rightly so, because when the next story popped up on the screen, I snapped.

- "That asshole!" – my scream echoed throughout the entire hall, overcoming the chatter that always filled it.

The sudden silence that followed and the hand one of my friends smashed against my arm brought me back suddenly, but by then it was late. I had just made the scene I would probably always be remembered for. Standing with my latte dripping onto the couch and music now playing in the background like a bad theme for my drama, I saw dozens of eyes staring at me.

- "... Sav what’s you problem?! We got company... get your ass over here!" – my roommate whispered in a panic, nodding towards the two men who had been about to leave.

In slow motion I saw them both looking at me and to humiliation was added absolute terror when without thinking I raised my hand to wave an embarrassed greeting, restarting Tobert's story. Oh, they would definitely remember me for that scene.

There wasn't a person on the entire campus who didn't know about my performance and the worst thing certainly wasn't the rumors but rather pity looks, plus the extra tasks I had agreed to do to clean up my reputation and keep myself busy. I hadn't received any formal warning, not even a comment, but I didn't want to risk ruining my career after having already dropped out in the past. The idea of losing the opportunity of a lifetime to someone who had already gotten more than he deserved from me drove me crazy.

Tobert hadn't commented, probably his two brain cells hadn't yet met to discuss what to do or they didn't think it was serious, but I had clear ideas and I had chosen to run the circus, patiently planning the day I would have kicked him with my degree.

So armed with good will and courage I marched across campus with my head held high, ready to face my demons and regain total control. It was almost time for the anatomy course to start and I planned to pass with top marks, but to do so I also had to make sure that the new professor didn't just remember me for screaming that day in front of him and his predecessor. My friends talked about him constantly, but I didn't have time for gossip, I had to seem like the right person to invest in for the future of medicine. When I arrived in front of his studio, however, my intention seemed less simple than expected. The entire aisle had been assaulted by a crowd of students, mostly girls. If I had suffered from amnesia, I would have thought I was at a concert or among a nymphomaniacs cult. We weren't in California, those outfits were definitely out of season as well as indecent, what’s was wrong with all of them?

- "Do you think he will receive today?"

- "Ah, I hope so! I want to see him so bad!"

Forced to wait like everyone else, I caught up with the gossip I had refused to hear from my friends, discovering the new professor was not only charming, but also young and free, which explained the cult. I also sadly discovered firsthand he hated receiving students and from what I saw he didn't even respect the time when he should have been forced to do so. Sitting in my chair, I waited twice as long before seeing the other students go away resignedly with their tiny blouses and too short skirts, deciding to spending my time finishing the chemistry project I had to hand in the following week. With my head down and fixed not to give up, I continued typing on my keyboard until two voices distracted me.

- "You can't take care of it alone, it's not necessary and you shouldn't at all" – I knew Mr. Heyman, he was an authority everywhere thanks to his investments and was often in the area because of his daughter, as well as a good friend of the rector.

The other man with him, I had only seen him on the day of my drama and I must not have seen him well due to the shock, because if I had I would not have given dirty looks to all the girls who had waited for him with me. Was he really a professor? Since when were professors like that?! You couldn't be like that, it was disorienting, didn’t help to the teaching process.

- "I should find someone but I don't have time to waste, Paul" – he complained and his voice sent a shiver through my body as I watched them reach the door in front of me.

- "I could ask, I have some friends, I'm sure there will be many smart guys who would be honored to do it, extra credits or not."

- "I will do it."

I said without thinking, lost in thoughts I shouldn't have been having, and they both turned to look at me, just as confused and surprised by the interruption as I was.

I had planned to introduce myself, ask a few questions, apologize for the bad first impression and now I had just made another one, listening to conversations that didn't concern me, without even saying hello, volunteering for who knows what next. Perfect.

Once the confusion was over, Mr. Heyman looked at me with interest, almost analyzing me, and I quickly tried to put myself together, putting everything away to get up.

- "And you are?" – He asked, his hands hidden in the pockets of his elegant suit.

- "Savannah Naïs Simon. Among the best in my class" – I introduced myself without hesitation and once again mentally scolded myself.

Now I even praised myself?! I usually handled the pressure well, for that kind of career it was indispensable, after all, but all of a sudden I was making one misstep after another and I couldn't afford it, not now. Tobert wasn't there to screw things, I had no excuses, it was my time, it was up to me. Head held high, nerves strong, that's what I needed.

- "Among the best doesn't mean the best" – Mr. Heyman cut me off, shaking his head – "and we have to check it too. I'll make a call."

Struck dumb, I quickly tried to think of something, anything, to make my case. The other professors would have confirmed, but what would I look like standing there waiting for their help?

- "It's no use" – however, Professor Reigns, who had watched until that moment, stopped us both.

His voice really played tricks on my body, but when my eyes met his it was even worse. His expression conveyed nothing, I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but he exuded authority and there was something magnetic about him, the kind of man capable of changing the atmosphere with just his presence.

- "Are you sure?" – he heard Mr. Heyman ask him, finally stopping looking at me.

- "I’ll take her" – he established, checking me for a brief moment and I held my breath without even realizing it.

He will… take me? for doing what? And was it positive or…

- "We start tomorrow morning" – he said, addressing me directly.

- "I will be on time" – I promised, even if he had already turned his back to me to open the door, Mr. Heyman following him without paying any more attention to me.

- "No phone Miss Simon" – he advised from afar, just before I was left completely alone in the aisle and I distinctly felt the weight of the entire campus falling on me.

I had risked making another scene, I had volunteered for something I didn't even know what it was, I would have had to move lessons to keep my word and I would have thrown away even the amount of time I had left to sleep. And once again that wasn't the worst, but the fact he remembered and had already targeted me before I could even apologize.

What awaited me was a role as an assistant for the entire duration of the course, but I only found out the following day, after spending the whole night awake. I wouldn't have much time to do anything else, it was clear from the first moment, but I had no intention of backing out after having volunteered. It wasn't just a way to make up for my bad impression, it was an opportunity for which anyone else would have gladly given an organ, I myself would have done so - who needed two kidneys? One was enough - and that would certainly help my career, I was lucky. Professor Reigns was a successful doctor, he had changed the landscape of pathological anatomy with his works and his presence was an honor for the university. Admissions to his course were closed after just one day and the program specified that a selection would still be made by him personally. Assisting him and observing how he worked could have given me a great advantage in the selection phase and that was what I was aiming for. Memorizing had always been my thing, but anatomy was much more than listing body parts.

However, reality once again did not correspond to my expectations and in the following three days, I felt more like a secretary than an assistant, with alla those emails and calls. He always arrived early and most of the time I found him sitting at his desk, looking at personal documents and boxes full of medical records. He worked with his head down for hours, often without speaking or taking a break, which wasn't good for my ambition, but at least it helped me not to get distracted because the rare times I saw him looking at me were a test of mental resistance.

His presence demanded attention, his imposing body promised what it shouldn't with the most banal gestures like a pen between his fingers. Calling him a good-looking man would have been an insult, the world was full of handsome and insignificant men, but he had something vaguely frightening, something I had never tasted before and it awakened an almost primordial impulse in me.

The sound of someone knocking on the door brought me out of my thoughts and I quickly straightened up, hoping nothing in me would give me away. I couldn't think about certain things, I wasn't there to daydream about affairs, not when my future was in play and my lifelong boyfriend had cheated on me. A student I had seen a couple of times appeared in the doorway, wearing a lab coat, a deep neckline underneath. Her blue eyes scanned the room where I was in search of what interested her and which was instead sitting in the near room.

- "I know it's not reception hour, but is the professor over there? I would like to talk to him in private about some things" – she said without even trying too hard to simulate and I batted my eyelashes at her, fascinated and annoyed at her courage before stopping her.

- "Unfortunately he is busy. If it’s important you can ask via email or otherwise wait for the course to start. Lessons start tomorrow morning, the time and place are already confirmed" – I anticipated, getting a reproachful look.

- "I need to see him now."

Oh, I could imagine it and I would have complimented the clever attempt to show up when no one was waiting if she hadn't been trying to call me dumb.

- "Can I help you now?" – I proposed without getting too upset and she seemed on the verge of losing her patience.

- "Can I have an appointment?"

- "Sure, I'll put you on the list."

I didn't see her expression, she was probably furious, but she didn't give me time, huffing her disappointment out of the studio, leaving me with the agenda in my hand. I closed it with a heavy breath, putting it back in my bag, where I had been advised to keep it so that it was always with me and never unattended. When I raised my head I almost had a heart attack, discovering Professor Reigns intent on staring at me from his desk, hands crossed, his expression curious.

- "I'm busy?" – he inquired and his low, rough voice made my neck tingle.

I hadn't told a lie, he was busy. He worked on those medical records all day, there was always some document on which he kept his eyes glued. Why was he staring at me like that? Maybe I shouldn't have spoken before asking yes, but my intentions weren't bad, I was trying to be helpful.

- "With the material for the research project and the visit to the rector this afternoon, plus I don't think she really had any questions" – I explained, clenching my fists praying that I could use them against myself because it would have been much better.

I spoke without being involved, I made decisions independently, now I also commented and implied. The unkind thoughts I'd had about Tobert were backfiring on me, bad karma.

- "Is that so?" – Professor Reigns asked curiously, leaning back in his chair and knowing for a fact it was better keep my mouth closed, I nodded, returning to look at my laptop in silence hoping to not have to explain anything else.

I couldn't talk about those things with a professor, someone who could have mentored me, it didn't matter if there wasn't that much of an age gap between us and we ended up on the topic. It was an off limits talk and I tried to focus on the topics outline he would analyze the following day during the first lesson, it had to be detailed and precise, but I couldn't even read what I had summarized until five minutes before.

- "Savannah right?" – I heard my name being called and even more shocked, I watched him finally get up from his desk to join me – "you want to be a cardiologist"

- "How... who"- I spluttered in surprise and putting hands in his pockets, he smiled at me amused.

A smile that would have knocked anyone out, perfect and soft, so incredibly unexpected on an authority figure like him. For three days he had paid almost no attention to me, only addressing me as necessary as Miss. Simon and I had never hoped for more than that, because of our first meeting and his role. Plus not many people knew my goal, after giving up and coming back was something I had learned to keep to myself.

- "Paul is a friend of mine and the rector's. He has his people. He was doubtful at first, but he thought better of it after a few calls and was right as always. You're doing a good job" – he replied, clarifying the doubts I wasn't even able to express and I felt my stomach tighten with emotion.

I knew I shouldn't expect recognition, not in such a competitive environment and when I was a nobody, but it was nice to know my effort was being noticed. Noticed moreover by people of that level. It was a rush of positive energy I really needed to give value to my sacrifices and know investing in myself was the right thing. Tobert and this sort of incestuous relationship we'd had had tried to screw everything, but I was still in the running.

- "I do my best, it's an honor" – I said enthusiastically, matching the smile he had given me, but he raised a hand to stop me, swinging his head.

- "Let's leave this out, I need support and an objective opinion at every lesson. I'm not a real professor, I'm a doctor, but it's an opportunity and everyone has something to pass on. Do you think you can do it, without distractions?" – He asked, throwing another dig at me, but this time I quickly got over it, nodding immediately.

At that point I would have done anything he asked me, I couldn't refuse him anything. It had been three days as a secretary, ignored and perpetually under pressure, but I had passed the test, I had earned his trust. He really wanted me to become his assistant now, he asked for my opinion even though we weren't equals in that field. Screw karma, I had already won in life at that point!

- "I can give my word Sir" – I promised and once again that smile appeared on his perfect face.

- "Good girl" – he approved, before leaving me again.

Those two words rang in my ears right inside my head, as dangerous as a spell and I had the impression of feeling my blood warm, while my body suddenly came alive and melted at the idea of having deserved that pet name. Subconsciously, I scratched my notebook, legs clenched under the desk as I watched the profile of his massive back. We had had an important moment and there I was holding my breath for something that Tobert had never in a lifetime been able to give me, after two words said without any intention.

I saw Mr. Reigns sit back down, rolling his shoulders with ease as he resumed whatever had occupied him before our chat. His eyes searched me one last time and a part of me that shouldn't have throbbed around nothing, making me lower my head to the lesson plan.

I was imagining it, it was in my head and it had to disappear as soon as possible.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @headoftheetable @sortudademais

[thefriendlyghvst]

persona // svt lee jihoon

"then what is my personality like, seungkwan-ah?"

"warm-hearted,"

that's it. that's the prompt.

—————

you were lounging in jihoon's studio as you usually spend your friday evenings, doing your own thing while he worked on his music. currently, you were drawing on your sketchbook and colouring your designs accordingly while laying on your stomach on his couch. he 'tch'-ed at something and semi-frantically clicked on his mouse a few times, which you assumed was to delete or redo something.

you were getting kind of hungry, so you decided to continue working on your designs later, after your stomach was full and you could think clearly. you sat upright and kept your supplies in your bag to put them on one side and made sure you kept the couch clean.

"are you leaving already?" jihoon turned around in his chair to ask you.

he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "it's still early."

"nope. just hungry," you smiled at your best friend as you slipped on your jacket.

he nodded his understanding. "just wondering. you always leave later,"

you chuckled at him and swung your sling bag over your shoulder. wiggling your eyebrows, you asked him if he wanted anything but he shook his head no. he turned around to continue working and was quickly clicking on his mouse again, which made you giggle.

"have some mercy on that thing," you teased.

jihoon seemed to be amused as he replied: "that's just how i am."

"how you are?" you furrowed your eyebrows as you tied your shoelaces.

"maybe a little bit mean,"

you tugged harshly at your laces and huffed while you stood. you put your hands on your hips and raised your eyebrows at him questioningly.

"what's that supposed to mean?" you asked him.

"hm?" he hummed on response. "just... my personality,"

he shrugged, traces of a smile still lingering on his features. you frowned. you have been good friends with jihoon since your school days, way before he became the famous producer woozi. mean was far, far away from what jihoon was. you kind of chuckled in disbelief at his nonchalance.

"that's not true at all," you told him.

he turned towards you inquisitively. he had this look in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. it was something along the lines of a teasing glint, but also somewhat challenging.

"really? what kind of personality do i have then, y/n?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle, but he was almost disbelieving.

"warm-hearted. and you’re actually very sweet," you said without skipping a beat.

jihoon's expression softened and something in his demeanour changed, you noticed. the softest, and frankly the nicest smile crept its way onto his cheeks, softening his features even more and making his eyes kind of look like little crescents. your best friend had always been the most adorable person to you as opposed to his firm and buff build, but the way he smiled this time made you believe he personally hung all the stars in the sky.

you adored and respected the genius musician woozi, and loved jihoon, sincerely, with all of your heart. you were so, so proud of him and were glad he let you be a part of his life and career journey. the both of you went through so much together as you grew up with each other.

jihoon recalled a time when his bandmate, seungkwan had said the same thing to him before they debuted. his heart swelled with emotion, and as you collected your things for your short take-out trip, he shut down his pc and turned off the rest of his working equipment. he called out to you as you were walking out the door and about to close it behind you.

"wait up! i'm coming with you," he announced, feeling his heart skip when you smiled at him.

he grabbed his phone and wallet and followed you out the door, thinking that if two of the most cherished people in his life thought the same exact thing about him, then he wasn't so bad after all.

[nouvxllev]

the girl across your street || p3

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were only someone she met in her neighborhood, and she became someone unreachable. You were someone she only knew for half a year, and yet, the countless smiles she’d give you when you were around, the moments she looked you in the eyes where you thought you finally meant something to her, the times she’d say you were someone special to her—those became nothing but everything. You start to ponder on who could ever truly stay with you? Maybe it’s inevitable you’d go along with your life without someone special to you, someone who cherishes you like their dying wish.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: angst, yipee!

part 4 || masterlist

You've found yourself spending a lot more time with Jenna than expected—so much so that you could almost consider yourselves roommates, having explored and learned the backstory of every picture in her living room. You knew quite a bit about Jenna, maybe not everything, but you knew her down to her music taste. Which is, maybe not a lot to some, but it was deep for you. Learning about each other's music tastes felt like exchanging wedding vows.

The two of you frequently dined at fancy restaurants or strolled through nearby supermarkets around the corner from your neighborhood. Making you wonder on where the hell is Jenna getting reservations from at the most luxurious restaurants out of town. These outings became the go-to whether you both were feeling ecstatic or just wanted to unwind after a bad day. And your meetings with eachother started occurring later in the day rather than in the early mornings.

You were slowly falling head over heals, over and over again until you went mad with her. It had reached a point where not hearing Jenna's voice or feeling her presence beside you felt wrong.

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"There's my favorite actress!" You ran towards her, a broad smile on your face that reached up to your ears. In your hands, you held a DSLR camera, not too large but not too small either.

Jenna, seated in her usual spot on the bench in front of her house, responded, "Not an actress," blocking her face with the camera you had pointed at her.

"—Yet," you grinned, "Don't you want to be in my special first video vlog?" Turning around, you gave the camera a chance to capture the changing scenery of the year, with leaves transforming into warm shades of orange and red.

You had big dreams of becoming a director, a career choice you had clung to since childhood. Piles of files filled with DVDs you had created when you were young. It didn't matter if you didn't have a deep story to tell, your videos were filled to the brim with stupid and idiotic stuff you used to do as kids and overall you were happy.

"Where'd you get that from?" Jenna asked, standing up to examine your camera's display. "Ooh… The quality's top-notch," she nodded approvingly.

"It was a very late Christmas gift from my friend I go to film school with. She saw me literally struggling with my phone, so she finally got me a camera for professionals only." You emphasized the word "professionals," feeling proud to have your very own camera instead of one borrowed from someone else.

She chuckled at your comment, "I've always wanted to film something on a camera," she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.

You gently set the camera down, your heart trying to calm down due to how close she was to you.

"I… I have this project for my film class," you began, turning to face her. "We have to vlog something in our lives that we could watch a few years later in time. It's supposed to be something bittersweet, my prof would say." You laughed, hoping to gain Jenna's approval.

You noticed her eyes twinkling, her eyebrows raising in excitement, and her lips forming a big smile that revealed her dimples. Fuck, you were so in love, it was maddening.

"Then let this be the short film of a lifetime."

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The 'short film of a lifetime' became a series of short films of a life time. Capturing your daily talks and strolls with Jenna, hoping that one day, the two of you could meet up again and watch these videos, laughing to your hearts' content. It was a sweet memory you'd hopefully make, really.

The alarm failed to wake you up because you didn't even sleep. It was Jenna's 17th birthday, and being even a millisecond late was not an option. You hadn't been able to celebrate her 16th birthday since she had just moved to town weeks after that, you knew after months of talking to her. And now, you were determined to give her the best party yet.

You stepped outside in the outfit Jenna had picked for you during one of your shopping trips—a comfortable ensemble that solidified your opinion of Jenna's excellent fashion taste.

You had your gift ready for Jenna, all those months of saving up money and even starving yourself finally paid off as you bought headphones that she always wanted and was always ranting to you about how expensive it is, a pair of brand-new Sony Headphones to replace her old ones.

You turned on your DSLR camera, ready to record and all, until you looked up and see people loading boxes into a truck.

Your heart raced as you ran towards the truck, hoping against hope. 'Fuck, fuck fuck... Please, not today,' you repeated to yourself, breath ragged as you tried to calm down.

Spotting Jenna's sister Aliyah, you called out to her, "Aliyah! Aliyah, wait!"

Aliyah turned, a smile on her face. "Y/n! Hey…"

You exhaled, "Where's—Where's Jenna? Is she going back to your house for her birthday?" You set your camera down, your voice shaky as you released the gift bag you held.

"Didn't she tell you? She's going across the country; she just got cast for a character in a film!"

You dropped your camera, confusion and shock hitting you like a truck.

"What?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There's my favorite actress!"

"Not an actress...

"—Yet."

The video played on and on, a retro sound mixed with sratches from the old camera you once cherished. You lay quietly down on your bed, your eyes starting to form eyebags, and the air starting to sound like a certain song you'd play when you're at your darkest times.

It's been half a decade since your last interaction with Jenna. Countless of sleepless nights, meals skipped, and relationships with others destroyed all because she moved across the country to pursue her acting career. Not once did she think to send you even a single letter, expressing how much she missed you or offering a simple greeting. But who were you to expect so much from her?

You get that she was busy, and you get that she has other matters to attend to. You knew for a fact the harsh reality of the entertainment industry demanded constant attention, and slipping up even once could mean being left behind. But a dark void in your soul could only want to ask of her a simple hi. You’ve watched Jenna through her films, her interviews, her Instagram stories, witnessing how she became a star. You were happy for her, there was no denying it, you were so happy for her she got to achieve the dream she was dying to succeed, but you couldn’t help but wish to celebrate it beside her, even for just one moment, rather from a distance like this.

You were only someone she met in her neighborhood, and she became someone unreachable. You were someone she only knew for two years, and yet, the countless smiles she’d give you when you were around, the moments she looked you in the eyes where you thought you finally meant something to her, the times she’d say you were someone special to her—those became nothing but everything. You start to ponder on who could ever truly stay with you. Maybe it’s inevitable you’d go along with your life without someone who’s special to you, someone who cherishes you like their dying wish.

When she left, your soul left with her. Now you were never the same. You never looked at things the same, walking down that street being something you’d regret, watching a film you’d think she would love could only make you breakdown into tears—missing her touch like you miss the warmth of the sun on a cold day. The world, once vibrant when Jenna entered your life, now appeared through somber lens, your simplest pleasures turned into tortures you would never wish on an empire.

You couldn’t be mad at her, no, you didn’t have the right to. How could you be so instantly attached to one person that they became your entire world? You spent your whole life creating memories you cherished with everyone around you. You had worlds to see, you had symphonies to hear from the beat of your headphones, you had comforting scents to smell whenever you walk into a familiar place, you had delicacies your mom once had made you when she was still in your life to taste, you had humans to touch—people that were close to your heart. Everything you had in the palm of your hands, taken away by a single glance from Jenna. It’s like your life suddenly meant nothing without her.

While you’re all smiles and laughs, trying to hide the fact you’re missing that one person who made you who you are now, thoughts of her still linger at night. You would find yourself after a grueling day, scrolling through the accounts Jenna had created, even reaching out to her closest friends or family members for any updates on her well-being. You still hope one day you’ll take that street yet again, reminiscing about the days when you were delighted to wake up on a cool winter morning and eagerly anticipate seeing someone, and that someone eagerly awaiting for you as well.

You sighed as you took a step on the street you were always walking on. It was already noon, and the feeling of not walking this road without the morning sun will always be so weird to you. The wind of the road reaches out to you like something of a horror film, your headphones you initially bought for Jennas birthday being the only escape to the reality you've sentenced yourself to, as if she was still there with you. If only you had known for what was about to strike you, maybe you would've confessed.

Like Jenna, you too achieved your dream job as a movie director. While you didn't work on big films, you were just happy you got to help bring stories to life, stories that Jenna often liked to read, hoping one day she'd maybe take interest in the films you directed.

As you walked, you find your eyes flickering to the bench Jenna used to sit down, a part of you wishing she would magically reappear and surprise you as if nothing had happened and it was all just a dream.

Then, someone was there—a brunette with the same hairstyle, engrossed in a book, much like the ones Jenna always loved.

"Jenna?" You called out, eyes widening.

The brunette started to stand up, book still in hand that was obscuring her face.

"Jen—! Fuck— Sorry…" You bumped into numerous people who seemed to have materialized on the street that wasn't crowded a moment ago.

“Jenna! Jenna, why didn’t you—" You extended your hand, wanting to touch her shoulder, feeling on the verge of breaking down into tears, desperate for an explanation, screaming whys and hows.

A car suddenly passed by you, the wind knocking you out of your senses.

Shit, it wasn't Jenna. It was never Jenna.

You were going insane. Why were you still grieving for something so alive, but so gone?

You were on your way to the location where your co-director, Emma Myers, had instructed the rest of the actors to shoot for your new film, Finest Kind. It was the first movie ever where you felt a bit uncertain, but you took it anyway. Emma was a friend you had made during your lowest days in film school, always there for your rants and providing a comforting presence that made you feel better about yourself.

Due to a morning that almost got you killed, you arrived 20 minutes late, earning applause from everyone when you finally reached the spot, Emma in the background shouting a rowdy 'Finally!' as the rest burst into laughter. It brought a genuine smile to your face, finally.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know of the casting, since that was you, your technique. You enjoyed a bit of surprise in your approach to movie directing, a quirk Emma took note of, and so, everyone introduced themselves to you and the rest of the crew, forming bonds for the months ahead.

You sat in your chair with your last name written on the back, reviewing a script that the writers had printed out, it was fairly nice. You were already envisioning how you wanted it to go, and now you were standing up to take the affirmative with Emma, until, a certain voice caught your attention.

"Excuse me, could I…" A voice murmured behind you—a familiar voice you knew and loved from the very beginning. However, for some reason, your heart dropped, and you wished more than anything to erase yourself.

"Jenna?"

"Y/n."

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a/n: yikes!!

[percyluvr]

hello!! you're fics r amazing and i wanted to request some hc or a drabble, you choose, about fem!reading being the head counselor of hermes cabin and totally being his fem version. thank u so much if u do 🫶🏻🫶🏻

percy jackson x hermes cabin counselor!reader summary: hcs abt percy with hermes counselor reader basically being him but as a girl

first, i think u two would be inseparable

like im talking sitting at each others tables during meals, training together all the time, sneaking off to go make out in his cabin when u really should be leading camp activities, sleeping in each other's cabins, etc etc

im just thinking of the iconic percabeth underwater kiss with u guys

with him using his powers to make sure u can breathe while u kiss, and teeth clashing together making u guys just giggle ur little hearts out

when u two go back to nyc for the school year u would live with him, sally, and paul and they would treat u like their own kid

they see how much percy likes you and how similar you two are and they cant help but think of u as one of their own

hanging out in nyc together, he teaches u how to skateboard bc he DEFINITELY knows how to

adding onto that, he would definitely teach u how to surf if u didnt know how

just thinking about if u also have the same music taste, u two dancing around the kitchen to ur favorite songs

making brownies together for estelle's school bake sales in the future!!! my heart omfg

back to camp, i think everyone would be worried if they ever saw u two not together

like im talking celebrity break up gossip page type all up in ur business

but then they see one of you sneaking out of the same place the other one just walked out of and they realize that u two were just trying to be sneaky???

but why

bc really u two have never been sneaky in ur entire lives

if either of u got picked to lead a quest, u would immediately pick the other as the first person to come with on ur quest bc u literally cannot live without each other

FINISHING EACH OTHERS JOKES

or just sentences in general

literally couple goals

like, if someone is talking to both of u, sometimes you'll make the same joke at the exact same time and laugh ur asses off and the other person will just like. stand there staring until they eventually just walk away bc u two wont stop laughing

like i just think u two are on the same wavelength all the time

if one of u forgets to do something, u dont even have to worry bc the other already did it for u

i saw somewhere that leo could probably tweak phones so the demigods can use them, and u two would both go to him to get phones so u could make each other ur lockscreen and background

i think the two of u would send each other the DUMBEST tiktoks or instagram reels

or like u would send it and then realize that the other already sent it or liked it

the two of u would definitely do tiktok trends

dancing together

u would DEFINITELY do the peeling the orange trend

and he would just peel the orange. no questions asked

like u wouldnt even have to ask him

he'd just see u with the orange be like "here baby give me that, i'll peel it for you"

SCREAMING HES SO BF

matching tiktok pfps for SURE

or matching bios !!!!!

u two definitely went to see the barbie movie together

i have no doubts

whenever he gets pranked by connor or travis, u immediately send them to laundry duty

but they still say its worth it because one time when u were sleeping in percy's room, they poured water on the two of u and both of u chased them around camp until u realized that percy had no shirt, and u had no pants

u werent THAT embarrassed bc like. everyone already knows anyway

but the stolls thought it was SO funny and they made it their mission to prank both of u again

when u two go on cabin inspections, even if u arent doing it together, u always give each other's cabin a 10 even tho u both know that neither of ur cabins deserve it ....

the two of u definitely sneak out of ur cabins at night when u arent together and sit down by the river, just to be met with the other sitting there with the exact same thought as u

and u end up going back to his cabin to sleep

u guys have definitely gotten yelled at by mr d and chiron

but u kept doing it

so they just gave up

but anyways, u guys r literally the it couple at camp

like, all the couples wanna be like u guys

ur just such a perfect fit & u love each other so much and u cant help but show it

a/n: this was my first time doing hcs and i think i kinda got a bit carried away... but anyways i hope u like it !! also, i love writing and im so happy that u like mine, it means so much to me <3

[hyperref-lex-ia]

Things you can’t do when you’re mute (partially for the pnf community partially cause i was just thinkin about it):

- Phone calls (yes they have TTS apps that can do this but a) they cost money to remove ads that physically interrupt you and b) people are stupid sometimes and constantly ask if you’re still there even when you introduce with the fact that you’re mute and to give you time to type)

- Fast food drive throughs

- Communicating while carrying things

- Communicating while driving (unless you are with someone who can understand sign/one handed sign)

- Asking people if they need help quickly without stopping them and having them wait for you to type

BONUS, doable things that are just kind of annoying:

- Paying for gas with cash

- Buying things at a register instead of self checkout

- Really just paying for anything in cash

- People acting like I am deaf when I am actively listening to music with large over the ear headphones loudly and having to point to my ears and do a thumbs up (this usually get the point across)

BONUS TWO, things that are cool that have happened to me:

- A hispanic guy (this is relevant) came up to me at a gas station who had seen me paying for gas inside and I guess heard me blasting my music and started speaking to me in spanish. I understand enough spanish that i was able to get that he was asking if i was mute, then he asked if i understood spanish and i shook my head, and he switched to english and started telling me about a seminar he went to on mutism. He was very sweet and it made my day

- The woman who is always working at the panda express I frequent at my school learned how to say a few things in sign presumably because I go there a LOT

- A little girl at the summer camp I went to who connected with me heard another kid ask me why I was using my phone to speak and said loudly “Some people can’t hear and some people can’t speak its a disability”

- Another little girl at the same camp kept running out into the hallway and the teacher was older and worried more about keeping an eye on everyone than her comfort so I offered to watch her in the hall. I sat down with her and asked her if she was overstimulated (in a way a small child would understand) and she nodded. I don’t remember what I said next but she signed me too. I signed asking if she signed and she signed back “a little”. I explained why I couldn’t speak and she said she was the same. I nearly burst into tears for this child and the connection we had. I spent the rest of the day with her. She spoke quietly to other kids but with me she would just smile big and point to things she wanted to show me. We read some of her favorite books quietly sitting next to each other.

- Teaching kids the ASL alphabet, they are always so eager to learn

If anyone is mute or has recently gone mute or has non verbal episodes I am here with you. There’s nothing wrong with us. I love you.

[bouncybongfairy]

Simon Says

Ghost!Keegan!Soap x Fem Reader Smut

Summary: After coming back from the bar and continuing the last mission's success at the safe house. Price comes out, complaining about the noise, so you guys move it to your room. A foul game of Simon Says takes place.

Word Count: 1.0k+

Ref Account: @kaionyx

TW: Group Smut & Facial, Male Receiving Head, Rough Smut.

Not Proof Read

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

It was late and Ghost, Soap, Keegan and yourself were hanging out in the living room of the safe house. The current mission you were working on just wrapped up and everyone was celebrating with drinks and laughter; a rare sight within task force 141. Everyone else had gone to bed after coming home from the bar. They had their fill of fun but you guys were just getting started. Pouring shots of cheap vodka and smoking while listening to music. Price came out, complaining about the smell and noise, moving to your room to avoid any more confrontations. You were nervous to have all three of them in your room. They were looking around at all your stuff, posters, stuffed animals, and of course the stereo. You connected your phone and started playing BabyMetal, Keegan picked up a picture from your desk.

“Is this you?” he asked, holding a picture of you in freshman year of college. It was you and a good friend, you grew up in Jersey which meant Snooki pretty much was your fashion icon all of college. 

“Is that a joint?” Ghost asked, laughing at your duck lips and hair extensions.

“Yeah it was quite the era. Look, I was crying because my sister and I got into a huge fight over who’s turn it was for the Juicy Couture bag. You can see where my spray tan ran down my neck” you laugh reminiscing on simpler times.  

Ghost was sitting on your office chair, legs spread and leaning over to reach the cigarette you were sharing. Keegan and Soap were lounge on your bed; you were curled up on a beanie bag. You couldn’t remember who suggested it but you guys started playing drinking games. Things like fuck the dealer and flip cup. You were getting pretty tipsy, giggling randomly and your body warming up. The boys were having a conversation among themselves while you lined up the shot glasses and grabbed the bottle. 

“Are you sure you can handle another drink?” Soap asked.

“Are you asking me or yourself?” you asked, handing the liquor out. 

After some more small talk, you excused yourself to change. Normally your pajamas are pretty revealing so you wear a sweatshirt and cotton shorts. Long socks because it was always freezing in your room. Once you started getting dressed you noticed how drunk you actually were. Tripping slightly while trying to get your shorts on Coming out and watching as all their eyes fall onto you. Clearly looking you up and down, at first you wanted to be like ‘oh my god don’t look at me like that’ but also you did so… why lie? You sat back on the bean bag as Keegan began to speak. 

“We should play another game,” he said. 

“What about Simon Says?” Ghost says. 

“Isn’t that your name?” you drunkenly giggle. 

“Yeah, so just know when I say something you have to take it seriously,” he said.

After that comment that vibe in the room felt different after that. All of them went from sitting back and lounging to sitting forwards. Soap and Ghost were sitting on the bed, Keegan was on the office chair. You beanbag was on the floor so they were all looking down on you.

“Simon says: sit on my lap,” he says, leaning back slightly like he was making room. All their breathing became harder, you rolled your eyes at the reaction. 

“What is this middle school? Out of all the things you could have asked?” you laugh, walking over and sitting on his thighs without hesitation. Making the point that it wasn’t a very daunting task. 

“Okay hot shot, Simon says: to read smut out loud,” Soap said, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t read-'' you started but was interrupted. 

“Yes you do,”  they all said in unison, “you need to invest in a privacy screen,” Keegan said, you could tell all three of them were smirking under their masks. 

“Fine.” you grab your phone and look through your tumblr. 

If they wanted to show, you were going to go full out. Finding a Captain America smut about hooking up in the barracks. It was obvious that they were wanting you to be flustered and flushed but it was doing the opposite. They were blushing and squirming around like there was no way to get comfortable. As you continued to read, Simon was getting hard. This was throwing you off your game a bit, now beginning to stumble over your words. Ghost noticed this and leaned back in his chair more, allowing him to press his member against your ass. 

You started rocking your hips every now and then. Enjoying hearing his almost silent groans and growls. His hands were starting to wander, running up and down your thighs. You looked over at the other guys and they were practically drooling. Looking at you like a can of beer they waited all day to crack open. Soap got up first and Keegan followed, your heart began to race. He slowly approached you and cupped your face in his hands. Rubbing your cheeks with his calloused thumbs. Keegan was on the side of him, brushing the hair out of your face. 

“Such a pretty little thing right?” Soap asked Keegan. This made you shiver, goosebumps prickled along your skin. Your phone dropping to the floor, Ghost kicked it away. 

“Fuck yeah, just begging to be ruined,” he said, grabbing your shirt and pulling it off your body. Leaving your chest completely exposed. Keegan reached down and pinched one of your nipples, pulling and twisting. You gasp and try leaning back but Ghost isn't letting you go anywhere. 

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” Ghost asked, grabbing your elbows. 

Soap grabbed the other and Ghost held you in place as they groped and played with your chest. The more you squirmed the harder Ghost became, pre-cum starting to bleed through his pants. Your face was flushed and sweat was beading on your forehead. Keegan used his other hand and parted your lips with his thumb. Eventually pushing it into your mouth; pressing your tongue down and feeling around your mouth. You wrapped your lips around his thumb looking up and shifting your eyes between the two of them. Pulling his thumb out and spreading your saliva all over your lips. Ghost stood you up slightly so he could free his dick that was straining against his pants. Pulling your shorts to the side and lining you up with his tip; grabbing your hips guiding you down on his member. He groaned and let his chin fall on top of your head. Your eyes rolled back and a loud gasp fell from your lips. Moaning and panting while you got used to how big he was. 

“Why do you get her?” Keegan asked. 

“Use her mouth i’m fucking busy,” he growled, trying his best not to buck into you. 

The fact that he was talking about you like an objection shouldn’t have made your stomach flip the way it did. Soap and Keegan pulled their dicks out and began stroking themselves. Looking down, admiring your body, you started bouncing. The wet squelching sounds every time you sink down on his length. Your eyebrows furrowed and mouth hanging open, not caring about the droll falling from your bottom lip. Keegan grabbed two fistfuls of your hair and brought your lips to his cock. Taking his tip into your mouth and flicking your tongue on his head. He moaned and started pushing himself further into your mouth. Soap rested his length on your cheek, insinuating he wanted in on the fun. You grabbed his shaft and started jerking him off. Ghost was getting less gentle with you, starting to pound into you with more aggression. His nails were digging into the skin on your hip, tightening around him when his head kissed your cervix. Whimpering around Keegan cock, spit and pre-cum running down your torso. In so much pleasure, you were neglecting Soap. Especially as you began cumming around his cock, your walls pulsating around his member as you nearly screamed in pleasure. 

“Fuck dude, my turn,” Soap said, pushing Keegan to where he was just standing.  

After being touched-starved for so long, he showed no mercy on your throat. Fucking into your mouth at an animalistic pace. Causing you to gag around his length, mascara stained tears running down your face. Keegan was enjoying the sight, watching your bounce on Ghost while having your throat obliterated. Like a personal porn star made just for them. Ghost was getting close to his orgasm, trying hard to hold himself back. Biting onto your shoulder, to muffle the sounds and delay his climax. Soap came early, cum was spilling out the sides of your mouth, only adding to the wet fucking noise that already filled the room. Ghost began cumming, shooting thick ropes deep into your stomach. Holding you down as hard as he could, rocking your hips as you milked him. Keegan came on your face, cumming on one of your lashes. Forcing you to keep it closed, which hummored the two of them. You lean back against Ghost’s chest, practically dead from how fucked out you were. You don't remember much the next morning, but thought it was nice of them to clean you up and tuck you into bed. The walk of shame to the bathroom while having a hangover and cum dripping down your thigh wasn’t how you wanted to start your morning but oh well.             

[avvwritesstufff]

𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙄𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠

𝙋𝙍𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙀𝙒- For nearly eight months, Nicole and Paige had been secretly entangled in a relationship that felt equal parts thrilling and dangerous. They’d always known each other, but everything shifted during last year’s tournament. Paige, the star basketball player, and Nicole, the cheer captain—it was the kind of romance that belonged in a teen drama, full of stolen glances and whispered promises. Paige was known for being a player, but with Nicole, it was supposed to be different. Paige swore she loved her, that she’d do anything for her. And for a while, Nicole believed it. Even when she caught Paige in compromising situations more than once, she let it slide. Paige always promised it wouldn’t happen again. Nicole wanted to believe her. She needed to believe her.

𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙎- Angst, gaslighter!paige and gullible!oc

𝙒𝙊𝙍𝘿 𝘾𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏- 1.8k+

𝘼/𝙉- this is NOT read over or anything and it’s so bad so i’m sorry i had to curse your tumblr with this☹️

It was a chilly evening in Storrs, the kind of night where the crisp air made everything feel sharper, more alive. Nicole had just gotten back from her late-night class, feeling the fatigue of the day settle in. Usually, evenings like this were reserved for hanging out with Paige, but tonight was different. Paige had canceled last minute for some team bonding activity that her Coach had insisted on. Nicole didn’t take it personally—she’d been through plenty of those herself and understood how it went.

Still, the change in routine left her at a loose end.

As she kicked off her shoes and considered an early night, her phone buzzed. It was her friends, Hailee, Angie, and Brooklyn.

“You have to come out with us tonight,” Angie insisted. “We haven’t seen you since school started! You’ve practically gone ghost!”

Nicole hesitated, guilt creeping in. They weren’t wrong. Ever since things with Paige had deepened, she’d pulled back from everyone else without really noticing. “Okay, fine. I’m in,” she finally agreed, knowing they wouldn’t take no for an answer.

The best part of going out, Nicole thought as she rummaged through her closet, was always the getting-ready phase. Her dorm buzzed with energy as Hailee, Angie, and Brooklyn arrived, makeup bags in hand.

Loud music blasted from the TV as they crowded around the small mirror, trading tips and compliments while brushes and eyeliner flew around. For the first time in what felt like forever, Nicole let herself relax, laughing at their inside jokes and soaking in the warmth of their company.

“Alright, Nikki,” Angie teased, narrowing her eyes as she applied her lipstick. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Nicole froze mid-swipe of mascara. “What?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Oh, come on,” Angie pressed, smirking. “We’re not dumb. You’ve been MIA, and don’t think we haven’t noticed that hickey on your neck.”

Nicole’s hand shot to her neck instinctively. She laughed awkwardly, her cheeks flushing. “It’s not like that. My classes have just been insane this semester.” She stood up quickly and made her way to the kitchen.

Angie raised a skeptical brow, following her. “Right, because classes leave perfectly placed hickeys on your neck. Sure, Nikki. Tell us another one.”

Nicole sighed, realizing she wouldn’t win this battle. “Fine! Yes, I’ve been seeing someone. But it’s really not a big deal.”

Angie’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, spill! What’s his name?”

Nicole hesitated, thinking fast. “Um… Paul. His name’s Paul. He’s sweet. And hot.”

“Paul?” Angie repeated, tilting her head. “Alright, what’s his last name? Let me look him up on Instagram.”

“Oh, he’s not on Insta,” Nicole replied quickly, pouring herself two shots from the freezer. “He’s more of an off-the-grid kind of guy.”

Angie frowned but before she could press further, Nicole checked her phone. “Wow, would you look at that? It’s already 9:30. Time to go!”

The subject was dropped—for now—as they hurried to get their coats and head out.

The four of them piled into Hailee’s boyfriend’s car, who kindly dropped them off at the local bar. As they walked in, Nicole took in the lively atmosphere: the hum of conversation, the clinking of glasses, and the low beat of music in the background.

The girls claimed a corner table, but Nicole made a beeline for the bar. She ordered a Dirty Shirley—Paige’s favorite—and as the bartender handed her the drink, it hit her.

She hadn’t talked to Paige all night.

PB💕

3:36 pm

Coach said I can't be

on my phone during this

thing, I'll call you later if

I'm not exhausted

Love you💕

(nikki❤️this message)

hey p,

i haven’t heard from

you and wanted to make

sure everything was going

good, i love u❤️

Nicole set her phone down and glanced up, and there she was—Paige. In the middle of the crowded room. With another girl.

Nicole froze. The world around her seemed to blur, her focus locked on the scene unfolding before her. All she could do was sit there, paralyzed, as disbelief washed over her. Paige wasn’t just with someone else—she had lied. And to Nicole, that was the most jarring part. Paige never lied. At least, that’s what Nicole thought she knew.

Time dragged, stretching what was barely a minute into what felt like hours. Finally, Paige looked her way. Their eyes met. Nicole felt a tear slip down her cheek, unbidden and unwelcome. The moment Paige saw her, Nicole broke the connection, pushing herself up and weaving through the tightly packed bodies in the bar. She needed air.

Outside, the cool night air hit her face as she sank onto the steps, staring blankly ahead. Her tears threatened to fall, but she blinked them away, determined not to let them win.

The door burst open behind her.

“Nik! Nicole—thank God. Please, let me explain!” Paige’s voice was frantic as she scanned for her.

Nicole didn’t turn, didn’t flinch. She just stared ahead, her face expressionless.

Paige moved closer. “Ma, come on—” she reached out, her hand brushing Nicole’s arm.

“Don’t touch me.” Nicole’s voice was flat, cold, devoid of the warmth Paige once knew. She jerked her arm away.

Paige knelt in front of her, her voice softer now, pleading. “Let’s go home, Nik. We can talk about this. You’re the only one I care about, you know that. I don’t even know that girl’s name—she came up to me, I swear.”

Nicole hesitated. Her mind raced, torn between fleeing and confronting the betrayal. She exhaled sharply.

“Fine. But let me say goodbye to my friends first.”

Paige nodded, following closely as Nicole re-entered the bar. Nicole wiped her face quickly, masking her turmoil as she approached her friends.

“Guys, don’t kill me,” she said with a forced laugh. “I’ve got an important assignment due in an hour. I promise I’ll stay longer next time!”

They groaned but hugged her goodbye, none of them catching the storm beneath her calm exterior.

Outside again, the silence between them was heavy. Once in the car, Paige started the engine, glancing nervously at Nicole.

“Nicole, you know you’re the only one I want. I was trying to push her off me, I promise—”

“No.” Nicole’s voice cut her off, sharp and steady. “Stop that. You don’t get to promise or swear on anything anymore. You’re a liar, Paige. And I’m not stupid. This isn’t the first girl, and it won’t be the last.”

Her voice cracked, but she kept her eyes fixed ahead. Paige reached out, but Nicole flinched.

“Baby, come on. You know I’d never—”

“Stop calling me that,” Nicole snapped, her voice rising. “You’re a narcissistic piece of shit, and I never should’ve agreed to this. You can’t commit to anything but basketball.”

Paige’s jaw tightened, her frustration bubbling over. “Nik, what the fuck. You don’t even know what you’re saying.”

Nicole let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I know exactly what I’m saying. How many, Paige? How many girls have you cheated on me with? Actually, forget it—I don’t want to know. Let me out.”

“What? Are you serious? The car’s moving, Nicole!” Paige veered onto the shoulder, her voice rising.

“Let me out!” Nicole fumbled with her seatbelt, finally yanking the door open.

“Nicole, stop! You’re drunk!” Paige shouted, pulling the car to a screeching halt as Nicole stumbled onto the pavement.

Ignoring her, Nicole began walking down the dark street.

“Nicole, get back in the car!” Paige called after her, panic lacing her voice. “I’m not leaving you out here in the cold!”

“Leave me alone, Paige. My dorm’s two blocks away.” Nicole’s voice was slurred but defiant as she staggered forward.

Paige caught up to her, grabbing her arm just as Nicole tripped. She steadied her, their eyes meeting. For a brief moment, Nicole saw a flicker of the Paige she had fallen for—the girl who had made the last eight months feel like a dream.

Without a word, Nicole turned and walked back to the car. Paige followed, a small, hopeful smile creeping onto her face.

“Just because i’m in the car doesn’t mean we are good paige” nicole states turning toward the door and leaning against it

The ride back was short, but the silence between them was deafening.

When they arrived at the apartment building, Paige helped Nicole out of the car, steadying her as they walked to her dorm. The night air was cold, but the silence between them was colder.

At the door, Paige hesitated, then pushed it open and followed Nicole inside.

“Out,” Nicole said, her voice low and sharp, pointing at the door.

Paige ignored her, forcing a soft smile. “Baby, you’re just drunk. I don’t wanna leave you alone like this.” She closed the door behind her and gently guided Nicole toward her bedroom.

Nicole didn’t argue, too drained to fight. She sat on the edge of her bed, watching Paige through tired, narrowed eyes. Paige set her phone down on the nightstand and knelt in front of her, slipping off Nicole’s shoes with care.

“I got you,” Paige murmured, her voice soft, almost tender. She helped Nicole out of her jacket, then started removing her makeup with a tissue from the bedside table.

Nicole didn’t say a word, just stared at Paige, trying to decide if this was love or manipulation.

“I’m gonna grab you some water,” Paige said, standing up. “Try to lie down.”

As Paige left the room, Nicole let out a shaky breath. Her eyes landed on the phone Paige had left on the nightstand. It lit up with a notification.

Snapchat: Nessa🤫🍑📞

Nicole’s stomach churned. She picked up the phone, her fingers trembling as she unlocked it—no password. The messages stared back at her:

Nessa🤫🍑📞: When are you gonna be here? I neeeed you, Paige.

Nessa🤫🍑📞: Bro, are you seriously ignoring me because of that girl you’re “with”? Like, come on, Paige. You know I’m the one—not her.🙄

Nicole’s blood ran cold. Every doubt, every suspicion she’d tried to push aside slammed into her like a freight train.

Paige walked back in, a glass of water in hand. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Nicole standing there, holding her phone.

Nicole handed it to her without a word. “Get out.”

Paige opened her mouth, but the look in Nicole’s eyes stopped her. It wasn’t anger; it was something colder, something final. Nicole stepped past her and opened the door, standing silently as she waited.

Paige hesitated, her fingers tightening around her phone. She wanted to fight, to explain, but she knew better. She could come back tomorrow. She always did. Say she was sorry, promise Nicole the world, and somehow, break it right back.

Without a word, Paige walked out.

Nicole closed the door, locking it behind her. She leaned against it, sliding down to the floor. The tears came then, silent but relentless, each one carving out a piece of the love she’d held for Paige.

For the first time, she let herself wonder if she could ever put the pieces back together.

[richarlotte]

Someone else you admire?

My good friend Twilly went to uni at 16 for PoliSci, Philosophy, and French, faithfully saved to be able to attend PFW every year for four years and to take the Eurail around Europe, and she’s graduating and moving to Europe to start grad school next year. I visited her at McGill when we were both around 19, and I was blown away by how much she’d been able to accomplish in the six months since I’d last seen her.

 

Twill is chic, totally carefree, cool, Congolese, and never too much. She’s found ways to study internationally for most of her life; she wrote a fashion magazine in high school; her music taste and humor are impeccable; and she’s got the bookshelf of my daydreams. T ran a small style, fashion, and lifestyle zine called “The Ambassador’s Wife” for the longest time, and the yearly zine perfectly captured the life I want to lead one day. She has such an eye for detail and has studied aesthetics and art in such depth.

 

She’s a chef, she jokes that she’s a bit of a literary dilettante but she’s far from it, she’s an artist, and she’s a dancer and actress. Twilly is the definition of a cool girl; it comes naturally to her. She’s adventurous and exotic without ever seeming like she’s trying too hard; she’s intelligent, cosmopolitan, inquisitive, and really extraordinary. She’s always told me that there’s something to be said about living life without the need for constant approval, and she’s right—there is.

 

People don’t just want to know Twilly; they want to be around her and have her in their lives. She’s magnetic and can make the worst of times seem like the best. She’d toss her hair over her shoulder and joke about spending too much time watching Anthony Bourdain, but she’s the sort of person who strays off the beaten track, comes back with stories, and has experiences that make you want to follow her the next time she goes. It’s hard to be the queen of the Irish goodbye when everyone wants you to stay, but she manages. 

 

There was a summer where she broke her phone and had to make do with a flip phone and her digital camera, so as she traveled, she’d write her address on the back of a spare photo she’d printed and distribute them to anyone she wanted to stay in contact with. She returned home to dozens of her photos mailed back to her and had to send off hundreds of texts and emails to get back in contact with everyone she’d met.

 

I admire her immensely and believe her to be one of the most consistent people in my life. We’ve known each other for years, watched each other grow, and leaned on each other. I faithfully send updates and advice, and she keeps me up to date with the major fashion houses she follows. It can be difficult to make high quality friends that mature with you as you grow up, so I think I'm especially lucky to have someone so likeminded and understanding in my life as one of my closest girls.

[xuchiya]

"golden hour" || kim hongjoong || one-shot

| genre: non!idol ateez. fluff. slice of life | mentions: teasing. fainting. jewelry gift. | This is literally my high school delusions. My old school is literally an 'old school' school like no phones and computers, being in a relationship is not allowed, and big ass windows as our source of fans--- i mean we do have electric fans and ceiling fans but with the weather and a very old, close to dying, e-fans? We really have to depend on the wind from our windows. Anyways, this list is basically a true experience. My personal favorite? Song Mingi's.

It was the last subject of the day, and you were busy jotting down notes. One leg was folded beneath the other, lightly swinging in the air as your hand moved swiftly, keeping up with your professor’s dictation. Suddenly, the sharp sound of the bell echoed through the room, signaling the end of class.

The professor glanced at the time before closing their notebook. "For those participating in the festive dance, you may leave. The rest, stay behind to clean!" Your classmates erupted into chatter, some eager to rush to the computer shop, while others shrugged and left without a care. You rolled your eyes, your attention drawn to your friend, who approached with a smile—she was part of the festive dance.

“Hey, you know you can always skip. You look pale—”

You smiled faintly at her. “As much as I want to, I’m gonna save your butts from another earful from the professor.”

She sighed, placing a cold drink on your desk. “Please rest, okay?” You nodded in thanks as she waved goodbye and closed the door behind her.

You were seated by the window, alone since your seatmate had been absent due to a cold. As you packed away your things, you noticed the last few students leaving, their laughter and the distant sound of music drifting in from the auditorium. You sighed, your gaze lingering on the window. You always seemed to be the one left behind to clean up everyone else’s mess. Literally. Sure, you could skip it, but that would only bring scolding and deductions from your moral merits—a consequence you couldn’t afford. So, you chose to face it.

The late afternoon sun cast a warm, golden glow across the room as a gentle breeze drifted in. You were tempted to head home, but the messy classroom held your attention. With a resigned sigh, you stood up and started cleaning. One by one, you flipped the chairs onto the desks. With thirty desks to handle, the task felt overwhelming.

By the tenth chair, you leaned your forehead against it, sighing in exhaustion. Sweat clung to your skin, your eyes burned with fatigue, and your entire body felt weak. You couldn’t understand why you were so drained, so easily worn out.

“Come on, just a few more,” you whispered to yourself. But "a few more" meant flipping eighteen more chairs and then sweeping and mopping the floor. Despite your exhaustion, you pushed through, focused on finishing the task. You didn’t notice when the backdoor quietly slid open, and a figure stepped inside, watching you with concern.

Hongjoong had returned to retrieve Seonghwa’s bag, as his best friend had been called in early and hadn’t been in class all day. He expected the room to be empty since it was well past dismissal, but he froze upon seeing you struggling to lift another chair. He tilted his head, watching you until you suddenly tripped over your own feet, the room spinning around you.

Before you could fall, Hongjoong moved quickly, catching your wrist and steadying you as you leaned against him.

“Whoa… take it easy. You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t slow down.”

You blinked, trying to shake off the dizziness. Your gaze landed on a silver nameplate, engraved with the name ‘김홍중.’ If you weren’t so exhausted, you might have panicked or made a fool of yourself. But you were too tired to fully grasp what was happening. Dark spots clouded your vision, and before you could react, your body went limp in Hongjoong’s arms.

His eyes widened in panic as you collapsed against him. “Y-Yah! Wake up, hey!” He gently tapped your cheek, but you didn’t respond. With growing urgency, he picked you up and kicked the door open, the force sending it slamming against the wall. He rushed toward the infirmary, his heart pounding.

Hongjoong flipped his phone open, the keychain of an old disc jiggling as he punched in the letters to send a quick message. When he arrived at the infirmary, the nurse informed him that you had been running a fever for three days, and the stress of upcoming exams had taken a toll on your health.

“I’ll be back, ma’am,” Hongjoong said, nodding at the nurse, who smiled sweetly at him. He hurried out of the campus and headed to a nearby convenience store, where he bought snacks, drinks, medicine, and a cool patch before returning to the infirmary.

When he arrived, the nurse was tidying up the now-empty bed. “She woke up and insisted on leaving,” she said with a small, apologetic smile. Hongjoong sighed, his nose flaring slightly, confused by the concern he felt for someone he barely knew. He knew who you were, but the two of you had never interacted before this.

“Please take care of her, Hongjoong-ssi!” the nurse called as he turned to leave. He considered just dropping off the bag and walking away, never mentioning the encounter again. But something pulled him toward you.

Was it because you were so persistent that you did not need help? Was it your way of saving people’s butt that you have to sacrifice something not even close to benefiting you?

Or was it the way the wind blew on your hair that it mesmerize him everytime he passed by your classroom? Or the way you look so innocent yet fierce underneath the golden hour of the day?

Just as he was lost in thought, you appeared at the doorway, one strap of your bag over your shoulder, running a hand through your hair. “Hongjoong-ssi? What are you doing here?” His breath caught in his throat as he gazed at you, bathed in the warm, golden glow of the sunset. You looked both delicate and fierce, and it left him speechless. He felt his heart race as his eyes lingered on your face, noticing every small detail—the patch of acne scars on your cheek, the natural curl of your eyelashes, the rosy flush of your cheeks from your recent illness.

You both stood in front of each other by the door, standing awkwardly as Hongjoong felt his entire body on fire.

 Your head was tilted to the side when you eyed his lips opening, the sound of confusion before he pushed the plastic bag to your chest and scrambled away to the other end of the hallway. You ‘oof’ in surprise, stumbling a little bit before your eyes flutter a few times; just comprehending what happened before your fingertips felt a cold and wet on the plastic bag.

You frown in confusion, taking the plastic bag in your hand then opening to see several snacks and drinks inside with another plastic inside. Your hand dive in to get the other container to realize that it is a cool patch and a sticky note attached to it.

‘The sun hides behind the clouds, not because it’s gonna rain but they rest too.’

You couldn’t help but smile, a small laugh escaping your lips. You glanced down the hallway where Hongjoong had disappeared before you quietly closed the door and walked away. The memory of passing out in his arms might have been embarrassing, but the thought of him taking care of you and buying you snacks made it worth it.

You walked away, a smile on your lips.

Around the corner, Hongjoong leaned against the wall, clutching his chest as he tried to calm his racing heart. His uniform crumpled in his grip, but a small smile tugged at his lips.