#I went out of my comfort zone with a lot of stuff on this one
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My art summary of 2024! I never cared much about having a consistent artstyle but this is the most consistent my art has ever been and it's making me realize that I have been really happy with my art this year which is a great feeling. I just got home a couple hours ago from my vacation and I'm exhausted but I'm so excited to draw again coming 2025! That being said I appreciate everyone who told me they like my art by leaving a comment or nice tags or even send an ask. I regularly read through them again to cheer me up. Thank you!
Also for good measure, the past 10 years art summaries under the cut (wow, 10 years...thats so much time.)
And some notes on my art of the individual years because I love yapping 2023: 2023 was THE worst year of my entire life and I have nothing good to say about it. There is some illustrations I made that I like and despite the happy subject matter in my art looking at my 2023 works just makes me sad. 2022: The year I graduated art school! I really went out of my comfort zone and drew so much OC stuff. I feel like Im at my best art wise when I concentrate on my original stories. Definitely something I want to get back into.
2021: I think I made some pretty big jumps art wise. It's also the year I got accepted into almost every zine I applied to after getting rejected by almost everything the previous years. I interacted a lot with a small corner of the FF7 fandom which has been my most positive fandom experience so far. Love the peeps who run the FF7 zines! <3 Overall the first half of that summary just makes me cringe but I made some big leaps improvement wise. I also slowly started to get a healthier mindset regarding social media interactions on my art which is a good development. 2020: Ugh. Just no. 2019: 2019 it seems is where my obsession with social media got really bad which led to me being very aggressive about it so I overall just dont enjoy looking at my 2019/2020 art. I wish I could look at it as fondly but I was kind of a dick. 2018: I remember being really happy with my 2018 art. I still love the April and October pieces. 2017:
Was a good art year! 2016: It's hard to say something about the art I made as a teenager. I have been at it for a while. 2015:
I drew really weird ears for a while. 2014: First one! Lots of traditional art still. Mostly because my first tablet broke. It's fun looking at these! :)
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i have no idea whether or not you take request but ill just shoot my shot ( if u dont take reqs, its a-okay, you can just ignore this)
but if you do, would it be fine for me to request a fic with reader x werewolf!yuanwu ( too late for Halloween? perhaps, but its never a wrong time to enjoy some good supernatural stuff) and something about transformation and discovering about yuanwu's condition ( you dont have to rigidly follow this one, you have full creative freedom over this one)
im currently going insane w the lack of yuanwu content and my brain decides to make me more feral by giving an idea for werewolf!yuanwu <`3
Bittberry Tea
malereader x werewolf!Yuanwu, fluff;
one thing for sure, we both have a great sense of timing when it comes to "Halloween" vibes. I take requests but just hardly ever have time to write them (I mean... I have time for writing just not for translating it later...). So maybe u already forgot about your Yuanwu's phase... Still thanks a lot for it!
even if its not the best, it's probably the longest post i have ever written... and I will try to never make the same mistake again, so enjoy!
Sometimes changes in life weren't as bad as they might seem. Sometimes they opened up a doors for new opportunities.
Or at least that's what your father always said.
That's why when you had to move back to Jinzhou in order to take charge of family business, you weren't really bothered. After all, you had always been prepared for such a turn of events. You went on a trip around the world, met true masters in their fields and gained a knowledge in subjects of tea brewing and herb gathering, just because of that. Also, your father was getting older and his condition didn't really allow him to continue his work.
Time to use your hard-earned skills and expand Liuxian Teahouse's business by opening up customers to a new exotic flavors, has finally come.
But of course, road to success couldn't be too easy. And your enthusiasm was bound to run into a wall called "reality". That definitely chilled your father's dreams. Maybe your traditional teahouse wasn't going to rack and ruin, but for the past decade it clearly didn't live up to its potential in gaining more popularity. And you were the one who was supposed to change that. However, your customers didn't really seem to follow this vision. They were terrified of trying anything new. But surprisingly, you weren't completely taken aback by their attitude and still tried to convince them to new flavors and techniques.
Especially one particular person. Which was stubborn like no one else. And which, despite many attempts, never gave up in sticking to their old habits.
When you returned to Jinzhou, staff introduced him to you as a regular customer of your tea shop. Technically he was there first and that gave him a big advantage over you. But in the end, precisely because of that reason, you couldn't let him win.
How could a person who saw you almost every day miss out so much by closing themselves on only one solution?
-Yuanwu - you announced in an anticipating voice at the sight of a newly arriving customer. Almost feeling happy with the idea of your victim finally getting caught into a trap.
Man looked at you with slightly frightened eyes. He really hoped that he wouldn't find you behind a counter today.
Or let's be honest… it was a lie.
Subconsciously, he really wanted to see you. After all, he started coming here more often precisely because of you. Not like before; once or twice a week, but for the past six months almost daily. Just to see your warm smile and exchange a few sentences about how he was doing. He didn't feel the need to talk about himself. If he did, he always had a plenty of people in his gym that he could burden with his thoughts. Yet, he didn't. The only reason why he was getting out of his comfort zone was your charming voice… As soothing as a warm coat on an icy night, as hot as freshly brewed tea and as refreshing as a breeze of spring. Combination that Yuanwu loved and that he could listen to over and over again. Even if it was limited to just few simple answers, winks and snorts of laughter. Oh, how much Yuanwu would give to be able to hear more. Especially about you. Curiosity got the best of him.
But not today. Not during this period. Especially when this was getting closer.
-You weren't here yesterday -you pointed out correctly, trying to let his guard down- A tough fight?
You referred to this tournament that Yuanwu's gym had recently held while rolling up your sleeves to slowly get down to brewing his tea.
Man only mumbled at this with a nod. He really was exhausted. This season was seriously giving him a hard time, and this responsibilities that he had added to himself weren't really helping. But at first, he thought they would be the perfect solution to occupy his thoughts and give him a great excuse to not visit you until everything would be resolved. And while he actually managed to act wisely yesterday, today his instincts didn't let him. And brought him right at your door. Yuanwu hated that, it made him act completely like not him. He became hyperactive and relied on raw force as if in his teenage years. But he couldn't help it, even his calm approach wasn't able to overcome this urge. Before he could even think about it, he was already sitting on a stool at your bar.
Yuanwu scratched himself intensely behind his right ear. Place where his fedora unpleasantly squished his head began to itch heavily again. This time a habit that he also hated. Though maybe not so much, because it always made you smile. And although it involved a great amount of embarrassment (which Yuanwu had no intention of showing on his stoic face) nothing excited him more than your laugh. He really couldn't understand where this feelings were coming from, but ever since he saw you for the first time, some strange force had been pulling him persistently towards you. Exactly like you to him.
You secretly glanced at him with tenderness. Despite his age, proud aura, bulky body or even beard itself, you couldn't deny that sometimes Yuanwu reminded you of a big puppy. Even if he evoked fear and awe in others, there were some certain adorable slip-ups that he made. Reactions of excitement when you agreed with him or sad pouts when he found out that he wouldn't see you for the weekend. All those little gestures unnoticeable at first glance that didn't let you dismiss this thought.
Yuanwu took his fedora off and placed it carefully on the wooden countertop, not far from his hands, which he intertwined together just a seconds later.
He looked in your direction and swallowed his saliva heavily. Seeing your arms exposed to your elbows and your veins tensed from precarious job, Watching your exposed arms and veins, tensed up from precise job, made something unpleasantly swirl around in his stomach. Your focused gaze and carefully thought-out movements while crushing the leaves didn't help either. Your elegance in performing of such a simple tasks was breathtaking. Your movements were so smooth, as if you had done it thousands of times before. And Yuanwu didn't doubt that this could be the case. You were so dedicated to your work that man didn't allow himself to question your passion for your profession or years you had dedicated to perfecting yourself. Yuanwu greatly admired your devotion.
But wait a minute. Something wasn't right. Man looked suspiciously at the stickers of a boxes that you had just used.
-I will have a Bittberry Tea- he warned right away, and you sighed in resignation.
-Fine - you gently lifted one corner of your lips, more amused than offended at the idea of being caught red-handed.
You definitely weren't trying to secretly sneak the other tea.
Or maybe you did.
But at least you didn't have any bad intentions!
And Yuanwu knew this very well. And after all this attempts in convincing him to try something new, he would have agreed to go along a long time ago. After all, he was already too old for such pestering and this types of games were too tiresome and tedious for him. But if the case involved you... Man just had to admit that he was fond of your attention. And thanks to this tea he was gaining a lot of it. If he gave in, your little play would stop and he would lose the only excuse he had to pique your interest.
Or at least that's what he thought.
-By the way… I was just wondering… -you turned your back to Yuanwu as if looking for a new cup, but in fact slightly embarrassed by your sudden boldness- This Saturday there is a full moon and... -your hand froze in a mid-air- I know a great place from where you can see the moon perfectly. Weather hasn't been good lately, but now it's supposed to be suitable for night walks - word by word you quickened your pace, trying to have this stressful moment behind you as soon as possible- when I was still a teenager I loved to stay there and admire the moon for hours. Maybe- Just maybe-… - you turned rapidly towards Yuanwu- you would like to go there with me?
Man looked at you with wide-open eyes. Almost as if he saw a ghost.
You smiled awkwardly. You just screwed up.
How could you even think about having a chance with someone like Yuanwu?! Let's be honest, after all, someone like him was bound to already have a partner. Even if he didn't brag about it. And if not. You were a simple tea seller, while he ran the most respected gym in all Huanglong. You were out of his league. He wouldn't even look at you.
While you felt a mental breakdown. Yuanwu gently slid down on his stool and with an sudden “excuse me!” ran out of a teahouse.
You watched with resignation as his figure disappeared behind a slightly glazed door.
This clearly wasn't the best moment.
It's a good thing that tea makers weren't required to be overly intelligent. Because, if your father had seen you just now, he would have definitely disinherited you from the rights of your family business.
Did you, in your foolishness, choose to talk to Yuanwu and try to repair your not even developed relationship, after he didn't show up at your place for the past three days? Yes. And was it a good idea? Absolutely not.
But something deep inside you told you that you couldn't let it go just like that. Over the past few months, you had grown used to seeing this gray-haired man who decided to reveal his vulnerability to you. And you couldn't imagine ending things like that. Without any answer. That wasn't even in Yuanwu's style.
Anyway, you hoped that even though he didn't reciprocate your feelings he would at least agree to remain as your friend. After all, you didn't even declare anything.
Anyone could have gone on a night walk in the moonlight… Right?
You didn't find him at the gym. You didn't find him at home. You felt a sense of resignation, but only for a moment. Yuanwu's kind neighbor gave you an idea about his potential whereabouts. Although she didn't know him very well, as he rarely talked about himself, she was a great observer. And a bit prying by the way… She couldn't help but pay attention to his enight escapades. Especially since he always came back from them pretty bruised. As if he had drunk a lot and run into a wrong company. And everyone thought that he was such a well-mannered gentleman! Such lies couldn't spread on neighbor's watch. She wasted a couple of evenings, but it was worth it -or at least, that's how she bragged.
Looking carefully through the window, she finally came to a conclusion. Surprisingly, man wasn't sneaking to a bars but somewhere out of town. She had probably hoped for something else. Because this rumors didn't sound as spicy as they might have. But at least she learned some of the truth that was unknown to others. And if it weren't for her old, sick legs that slowly refused to obey her, she would certainly have known more of it.
Not really bothered by older woman's remarks, you focused on Yuanwu himself and headed to a pointed direction. It was getting dark outside so you wanted to find him as soon as possible.
There was only one path leading in the given way, not really awell-trodden one, but you recognized it immediately. It led to a small forest where you and your father used to collect leaves for brews. You remembered this place well thanks to a small wooden woodcutter's hut. Once... magical and cozy. Now... rather abandoned and falling.
You tilted your head to the side pleasantly surprised. There was a smoke coming from a chimney, which suggested someone's presence.
Yuanwu - you thought with hope and rushed to the door hastily knocking.
Nothing.
You repeated.
Still nothing.
Exactly as if he was hoping for you to think that no one was here and leave.
-Yuanwu, I know you are there. Please open up. Let's talk.
Silence.
You growled in disappointment and banged your fist onto a door.
-Yuanwu, please-
You whimpered.
-I won't leave until I find out why you ran out like a scalded cat. I know that we may never have gotten to know each other more deeply, but I've managed to really like you and I can't imagine us suddenly stopping talking. I can't imagine my days at work without you by my side- I-.... -you spoke pleadingly until you heard a quiet rustling.
Your eyes lit up. You took a step back.
Locks in doors clicked. Rotten planks shifted with weight.
Through a small crack you saw a wasted face of Yuanwu. Dark circles stung your heart.
-Just hurry.
He swung the door open, letting you inside.
With each of your movements, a cloud of dust rose in the air. You coughed, chasing away an unwelcome gray particles.
Finally, you were able to get a better look at him. He was hunched over and drenched in sweat. Exhausted as if he hadn't slept for a week. With his right hand, he held up a small oil lamp, and with his left, he pressed tighter to his chest a thick blanket that wrapped around him like a coat.
Yuanwu carefully put down on a small table the only source of light besides a fireplace and threw himself onto the old mattress located right next to him on icy floor.
You moved toward the windows, wishing to brighten the room with more light thanks to a rising moon.
-No!
You heard a desperate scream and instantly turned towards man.
-Just... please don't.
-O-okay?
You took slow, uncertain steps to curled up Yuanwu. You weren't sure what had just happened, but his condition definitely scared you. The only thing you thought about was helping him, but you didn't really know how.
Seeing that he wasn't reacting badly to your closeness, you crouched down and gently placed your hand on his shoulder. He shuddered. But didn't push you away. So you allowed yourself to gently massage his arm through a pile of old rags.
-Are you all right? Did someone hurt you? Just tell me what I can do to help you-
-Everything is all right. Nothing has happened. I'm just-… ill. And I need some space - he was speaking calmly in a weak voice- And about… That. Do not worry. You know that sometimes I haven't visited you for a while, but I always came back. Now I will also be back. Just not today… And maybe not tomorrow - he laughed bitterly- But the day after tomorrow I will definitely return, for you to once again try to push something in me that is not a Bittberry Tea. Everything will be the same as before. Of course, as long as you still want to keep in touch with me - he reflected.
-Of course I want to! - you protested- After all, that's why I'm here. But that doesn't explain anything-
-Good. -he smiled slightly- But now you should go. There is no time-
-What? I'm not going anywhere-
-No, really. I don't know why, but it's much worse this time-
-What's worse?
-That's-... not important! Please. Go
-No way, I'm not going anywhere until I know what this is all about
Yuanwu shuddered again. This time harder. As if some strange force threw his body. He curled into a ball and gripped his ears to cut off all the loud sounds.
-Yuanwu? -you whispered- Please, say what's-...
-Too late.
A shiver went through your spine. Something in those words and his tone made your blood run cold. But you still didn't move away. On the contrary, you covered him with your body and hugged tightly.
Yuanwu began to shuffle and pull away. But you were stronger, more desperate.
-Let go! I will hurt you - he groaned with difficulty, before his voice got replaced with loud growls and screams of pain.
Agony, as if someone was tearing him apart.
-Not a chance
You gripped him even tighter. Squeezed your eyes shut and waited.
You thought it was just an ordinary convulsionof person in fever. That it would pass soon.
Until it didn't. Until his limbs began to bend in different directions. Until blankets began to tear. Until you felt rough hairs under your fingers.
Something like… fur?
You felt a punch. With a loud thump you fell on the floor. He pushed you away.
More gasps, groans. Cries in indescribable pain.
Finally, a loud howl.
You pulled yourself up, trying to sit up. You rubbed your eyes and looked ahead.
You couldn't believe in what you were seeing.
In front of you, there was a hunched over Yuanwu. Or at least someone who looked like him. He was bigger. More muscular. Naked. But not quite. His torn clothes were replaced by silvery fur, similar to his natural hair color.
You weren't sure what you had just experienced.
Yuanwu looked at you with a frightened and troubled gaze. His eyes, though currently more of a predator than Yuanwu himself, showed a fearful look. Scared of being judged.
-What-… -you quickly corrected yourself- who-…. who are you?
Yuanwu whimpered, letting out the first tears.
You ran out of breath. Why- why was he crying?
-I know that I am a monster. But please, please, can you not leave me? -he threw out pleadingly in a moment of weakness.
Who had hurt him so much to bring such a large, reserved man to this state?
-Please?
His breaking voice tore your heart.
You didn't think twice. You pushed back in a sudden surge of energy and once again threw yourself with a hug on Yuanwu. Your Yuanwu.
You didn't wait for explanations. You didn't need assurances. You didn't even think that Yuanwu could hurt you.
The only thing you wanted to do at that moment, in all this chaos, was to keep him safe.
BONUS:
Liuxian Teahouse was famous for its openness to all four-legged friends. Yuanwu knew this very well, and that's why at first he chose exactly that teahouse.
Whenever he was there he didn't miss a chance to feed his beloved cats. And each time this happened, it greatly amused you. Whenever man approached bowls, cats hissed jumped straight and ran away in a hurry. Leaving Yuanwu with a disappointed look.
However, he never gave up. Poured food to the brim and removed himself into the shadows.
Whenever he left, animals returned. And he, sipping hot tea at the bar, dreamily admired the fluffy creatures who happily ate.
In the past, you were truly fascinated with the idea of cats disliking such a kind man.
Now you knew their secret.
#fanfic#fanfiction#scenarios#tmr#x reader#x male reader#x top male reader#male reader#top male reader#wuwa yuanwu#wuthering waves imagines#wuthering waves#wuthering waves x male reader#wuthering waves x reader#yuanwu wuthering waves#yuanwu x top male reader#yuanwu x male reader#yuanwu#yuanwu wuwa#yuanwu x reader#mxm#fluff
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❄️We were born to make history!❄️
Please check out my art account @moony-mai
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#yuri on ice#katsuki yuri#vikturi#viktor nikiforov#yuri on ice fanart#rewatching this made me cry#its so good😭#anime fanart#yoi fanart#digitalart#dean fujioka#omg listen to 2021 history maker!#you wont regret it#its so beautiful#anyway please enjoy#I went out of my comfort zone with a lot of stuff on this one#and i am in love#very proud of myself
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── homie hoppin’ ( lhs, pjs, sjy, psh ) ּ 𓂅⋆ 📙
๑ Heeseung never wanted to believe the rumors about you around campus, to him you could never do wrong and he sees you as nothing less than an angel. But when his friends begin telling him about their nightly escapades with some “mystery girl” that sounds awfully familiar, he grows more suspicious of your true intentions you’ve been hiding all along.
pair: hyung line ㅊ f!reader, college au | warnings: pwp, smut, angst (kinda ??), hook-up culture, yn is the biggest fuckgirl omg (but she’s sooo cuntyy), humour, slut-shaming (not from the boys), daddy kink, oral (m + f. rec), mentions of running a train but it doesn’t happen lol, lots of s.x flashbacks, yn is so unbothered by everything 😴, unprotected s.x (yikes !!!) | teaser wc: 857
thanks to @leeechin & @pshbites for enabling this idea LOL, couldn’t have done it without them frfr. also here’s a silly little preview of what’s to come (it gets real MESSY in this sfdsfsd)
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
heeseung was never really the type to ever engage in gossip or drama going around campus. he’d rather simply mind his business and keep it moving, it was useless to entertain it anyway— most of the rumors held zero truth or any proof to back them up. what does seem to grab his attention however, is your name being constantly brought up in almost everyone’s mouths. you were the talk of the whole school and it wasn’t anything good that was being said about the girl he’s been sleeping around with on and off for the past few months or so.
“oh you know about y/n? isn’t she the one who’s always bouncing from one friend group to the next ? i wouldn’t trust her around my man even for a second..”
“didn’t she let leehan hit it at that party last night ? that girl needs to be stopped, she’s always messing around with different guys..”
“wasn’t she just with eunseok last week ? he was telling me all about how him and sungchan took turns on her.”
he couldn’t believe half the stuff that was being said about you. not only was it just plain disrespectful, but it was also disgusting how some people could spew such fabricated nonsense as if you weren’t a real human being with feelings. heeseung knew you two weren’t exclusive but you’ve been seeing each other more frequently, which made him think he might have a chance to make things official. at least he thought so, until he saw you talking with one of his close friends, jaeyun in the library. you both were way too close for comfort and the way you were giving him those same bedroom eyes that you’d always flash at heeseung, made his whole body fill up with an unimaginable amount of rage.
you were quite popular and well known around campus, your charming persona and pretty face was the perfect combo to get anyone to fall head over heels for you. everywhere you went you’d turn heads, all the boys would be breaking their necks just to get a glimpse of you. the tiny skirts you’d always wear had their eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, which only made the other girls seethe in utter jealousy. the way you could command an entire room without even trying was a superpower in itself, you didn’t need to put in the extra work to get all the attention on you because everyone gave it to you automatically.
it wasn’t until heeseung began hearing more about his friend’s sex lives that he’d grow more suspicious of what’s really going on. he usually zones out and doesn’t really listen much whenever they talked about it, but since the movie they were watching wasn’t all that interesting, he began shifting his attention to his friends. jaeyun and jongseong were always bragging about how much pussy they’d get but they seemed to hyperfocus on one particular girl that seems to get brought up a lot in their conversations. jaeyun would say how she gave him the ‘most life changing head’ he’s ever received, meanwhile jongseong was describing how some girl he fucked a few days ago rode his dick like a grade A pornstar.
heeseung wasn’t adding much of his input into the conversation, and neither was sunghoon as he tends to keep that part of his life more private. but, what made him suddenly wanna jump up in his seat was when jaeyun was telling them how hot the girl looked when he fucked her from behind, she had a back tattoo and he thought that was the sexiest shit ever. he never specified exactly what the tattoo was, but he remembers that you also had one too. maybe he’s just reading too much into it ? could it really be you they were talking about ? nah.. there’s no way. he’s sure there’s plenty other women with back tattoos walking around campus, it simply could be an eerie coincidence. he knows he isn’t the only one that you’re sleeping with, but to mess around with his friends would be a new low for him. he wouldn’t know what he’d do if he were to find out that happened..
his worries would only worsen when he catches sunghoon smiling and faintly giggling at his phone about something, to which jongseong asks him what’s so funny. sunghoon simply shrugs it off and says it’s nothing, quickly locking his phone before he lifts up from the couch to announce that he’s going back to his dorm. they all exchange their goodbyes and wish him a safe walk back to his place. but when he left, he was walking in the direction completely opposite of his dorm, he was heading the exact same way it took to get to your building instead. now he’s really starting to overthink at this point. there’s absolutely no way you’re actually fucking all of his friends and he doesn’t have a single clue about it. heeseung may be quite oblivious at times but he isn’t that stupid. he’s probably overreacting. again, could just be a very weird coincidence… right ?
just leave a comment if you wanna be added to the taglist ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung x reader#jay smut#jay x reader#jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#jake x reader#sunghoon smut#sunghoon x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#kpop smut
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𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘
“𝐒𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭.”
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
Prompt: Wolverine x kind reader x Deadpool
Warnings: suggestive, sexual jokes, spoilers (kinda? after the time stuff) injuries,
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮
You couldn’t remember the last time you talked with Wade, it’d been a while. Longer than normal. He’d come into your shop asking for sweets all the time it was nice talking to him he was pretty funny.
You met him after he basically saved you from a creep trying to attack you. After that he’d visit you at work getting a discount for saving you, you grown to like him a lot but it took a while for you to get out of your comfort zone.
With his very vulgar language, very….out there personality you grew close with him, Wade telling his friends about you any chance he got which lead to him introducing you to his friends making you insanely nervous.
The interaction was odd for them not you. There stared at you “…you’re Y/n?” A teenager with a long name asked, you nodded happily a friendly smile on your face. They glanced at you then at Wade then back at you “…if you were forced to be here blink twice”
You chuckled nervously but they seemed to be dead serious “I’m here on my own will, I promise” you clarified, Wade wrapped his arms around your shoulder “you think I forced her to be my friend! You hurt me” you glanced at him “will you kinda did-“ “alright let’s go meet Colossus!” He dragged you away from the moody teenager to continue to interact with his friends.
You thought back on the memory pouting missing your friend. You finished cleaning up your cafe about to leave when there was knock at the glass door, turning to look at it you saw a person standing their it looked like an older man.
You placed your bag down you grabbed your “baby knife” Wade gifted you, you didn’t like violence but after what happened last time you stayed out too late you slid it up your sleeve slowly unlocking and opening the door “hello do you need some help?” You asked.
The older man stumbled nodding “f-food please…” he almost fell onto you but you caught him “uh…um…okay just…just sit down please” you hummed carefully helping him sit down.
You went to get treats that no one had bought, usually you’d give that to Wade but he wasn’t here so you’d give it to the old man.
You turned to hand him the bag but he was standing up straight “um are you alright….sir?” Gripping onto the knife tighter you stepped closer to him, he chuckled lowly “to nice for your own good.” Before you knew it he jumped towards you.
You screamed in surprise pulling out your knife you stabbed him “ahh you bitch!” He fell back clutching him chest “I-I’m sorry!” You didn’t know what to do you felt bad for stabbing him but he was going to attack you.
He pulled the knife out standing up, bad choice you gulped knowing the outcome of this situation.
That night you went home with plenty of injuries and no money. Great. You had unlocked your front door going inside you flicked on the light “surprise! Welcome home honey bun-“ he froze in his spot.
He’d waited to surprise you when you got home. He thought you’d be in-static to see he was home from his thrilling mission and was going to tell you all about it but he was shocked to see you with a busted lip, black eye and bruises covering your face and arms.
“Oh my god what fuck!” He hurried up to you grabbing your shoulders “Wade nice to see you” you greeted, he was panicked but didn’t want to show it “how exactly can you see me? Looks like someone had a run in with Chris Brown, what happened” he joked.
You let out a dry chuckle “some jerk…I thought he needed…I thought he needed help but he was just trying to rob me. And he took my baby knife” Wade gasped “not the baby knife!”
As you went to get in the shower Wade clenched his fists “Honey bun I’ll be right back to tell you all about my adventure and the new friends I made!” He shouted into the bathroom earning a “alright” from you.
Leaving your house he went into his apartment slamming open his door gaining a odd look from the rest of the group.
Logan raised a brow “what’s your deal?” Wade grabbed his swords and guns “some tiny dick loser attacked my friend” Logan stared at him with his usual annoyed face “so?” Wade stopped at the door looking back “so? That girl is one of if not the nicest and hottest person on the planet and some dickwad attacked her!” He turned and left the apartment slamming the door.
“Who’s he talking about?” He asked Colossus got up “one of his close friends Y/n, she’s very important to him” he stated Logan was just confused but didn’t really care.
After a few hours Wade had returned dropping his weapons down at the floor “handled that, I feel so much better” he hummed, Logan glanced at him “you killed the guy didn’t you?” He asked. Wade smiled “yeah duh if you knew Honey hun like I knew her you’d do the same, well actually!” An idea popped into his head.
“Whatever your thinking. Don’t think it.” Wade laughed “oh come on you’ll love her! Not as much as the reader loves us but still” Logan looked at him confused “what?” “Oh come on peanut!”
“If I go will you shut the fuck up?” Wade smiled leaving the apartment “no promises!” Logan rolled his eyes and followed.
Wade knocked on the door “Honey bun! I’m back and I’ve brought a friend!” He continued to knock until the door opened revealing you now patched up and holding a ice pack up to your eye.
“Oh hi Wade, hello Wade’s friend” You smiled politely moving out of the way to let Wade and his friend in “I’m not his friend.” You shut the door “oh well what’s your name? I’m Y/n nice…nice to meet you” you greeted.
He stared down at you, he wasn’t to fond of physical contact and if he was touching someone it was usually stabbing punching slicing. But he grabbed your hand shaking it before letting go quickly “Logan.” He stated, You smiled at him “nice to meet you Logan- wait like Wolverine Logan!” You wanted to scream.
Wade watched as you hurried to your room, “she was a big fan of the X men Wolverine was her favorite you’d be surprised at the amount of edits she and probably the reader has saved on Tik tok”
Logan looked at Wade confused “you wouldn’t get it, I never had the guts to tell her he died. I mean look at her” you hurried out of your room holding an X men comic “if…if you don’t mind could you sign this…please…” you gulped nervously.
Wade leaned over “come on, look how excited she is, kinda like how I was seeing her naked for the first time” Logan scoffed “shut it. Look I’m not that Wolverine…” he huffed, that look of excitement faded from your face almost made him a little sad.
“Oh…wait I’m confused…” Wade held your shoulders “time to tell you all about my adventure!” He pushed you over to your couch.
After telling you about everything that happened you sat with a frown “so the Wolverine from our world is gone…” Wade nodded “yep but yaknow Hugh jackmen just couldn’t get enough of this roll so now he’s alive again.”
You glanced at Logan “so you’re still Wolverine…just from a different world…?” He nodded “that’s still so cool!” You stated excitedly, Logan looked at you a little surprised by how enthusiastic you were.
But he knew how this would turn out, he’s not gonna engage. You seemed like a sweet girl but he knows how this goes so he wasn’t going to even try.
“Yeah I’m not all that great.” He huffed, you lightly nudged him a playful tone “well you still saved the world, and you’re still cool to me” you hummed, Wade’s smile widened “Honey bun” he called out, you looked at him “you got any cookies?” You nodded “sure I’ll go get some.”
You got up leaving the two “see what did I tell you, she’s amazing!” Logan rolled his eyes “fuck off” he grumbled, Wade laughed “ha! You know I’m right! She’s perfect in literally every way!” Logan huffed crossing his arms.
You came back holding a plate of cookies Wade pulled you down onto his lap grabbing a cookie shoving it into his mouth.
You gulped “so um…can I….can I see your claws?” You asked nervously shuffling Wade held you still “no shuffling too much I haven’t got some in a while and the head downstairs misses you” you ignored his comment an stayed focused on Logan.
He held up his hand you lightly touched in between his knuckles feeling his claws under his skin “cool…” you muttered. He wouldn’t tell you but your reactions were somewhat cute.
He clenched his fist his claws coming out a cheesy grin grew on your face as you hit Wades arm “look, look” a small laugh exiting your mouth “trust me babe I’ve seen them and felt them inside me multiple times” Logan glared at him “don’t word it like that.”
Wade shoved another cookie in his mouth “don’t deny what we had!” You touched his blades “cool” he retracted them “well at least I can die happy” you joked.
Wade wrapped his arms around you squeezing you tightly “I won’t let that happen!”
Logan looked at you and how nice you were, maybe you weren’t so bad after all…
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮
A/n: I fucking loved Deadpool 3!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHH
#deadpool x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#x men#wade wilson x reader#marvel x reader#james howlett#fem reader
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whiplash- o.piastri
summary: your first season as an f1 driver doesn't start the best, and you quickly realise McLaren doesn't like women very much. On top of that, your race engineer is as smug as the rest of them, and you have to deal with him all the time.
pairing: race engineer! oscar piastri x f1driver! fem! reader
warnings: lots of misogyny, lando is an asshole in this, illusions to ed behaviour, reader is not in a good head space, all of mclaren is super sexist.
pls remember this is fiction and purely for fun!
(HOLY SHIT THEY WON THE CONSTRUCTORS!!!!!!!)
(dw i have many fics planned for the end of season stuff, so be prepared for them to come out in the next week or so!)
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six
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Recovery after the crash was pretty straight forward, no bright lights, too much screen time, or loud noise for 2 weeks, and thankfully, you had a month off.
Only problem? Someone had to take care of you for those two weeks, and that someone was Oscar Piastri.
And what a roommate he was. He unloaded your things from the car as you unlocked the door to your house, letting him in, and he didn’t let you carry a thing. He sent you straight to bed while he made some sort of bland, diet-approved dinner for the two of you and brought it up to you with very little speaking. You enjoyed it though, listening to some random youtube video at a very low volume, and then you just slept, despite the pounding headache you had.
Oscar stayed downstairs, looking around the place. You had a lot of books, which he realised made a lot of sense. You were often reading on race weekends. You had a lot of artwork as well, mostly from what he assumed to be local artists in Monaco, and some from your home country. He walked through room after room, finding more about you as he went on. You liked a specific band, you collected records, you liked stationary (you had a lot of extras in your office), you had two of the same pairs of sunglasses (he assumed it was because you often lost them), you had very few pictures of yourself with friends, but many of just your friends, you had nothing to do with racing anywhere in your home. The only room that had anything remotely racing related was your simulator room, which just had your sim and some team merch you’d been given. He wondered where you kept all of your suits and helmets from other years, where you kept the trophies.
“You’re snooping,” you said from behind him. He jumped, turning to you. The whole house felt so suffocatingly you. You were around each corner, things that reminded him of you were everywhere. It wasn’t easy, like in the garage. He was out of his comfort zone , out of his routine. His plan had been to go home for the break, but now he was taking care of the pretty girl he spoke to over the radio. The bottom line was that he was scared. He was scared he wouldn’t get over the crush, he was scared you’d reject him, and he was scared of his feelings being too obvious and scaring you away. He couldn’t let his months of hard work go to waste over something as silly as his feelings, and he wasn’t going to leave you high and dry without support, half way through the season with a team who didn’t like you. You did look quite cute though, even in the dim light (he’d gone around and closed all of the curtains in the house, only allowing a small amount of light in), tired and groggy, but pretty all the same.
“Just trying to find my bearings,” he smiled. “Did you sleep?”
You nodded. “I’ll show you the guest room,” you said, leaving the doorway and walking away. He followed behind. The conversation didn’t flow as easily as it had before. Oscar felt… surrounded. By you. And he wasn’t sure he was totally upset by it. Everything in this house was you. It made sense, it was your house. He just wasn't… used to it. He followed behind you, staring at the ground as you both walked up the stairs.
“You don’t keep any racing stuff in the house,” he stated.
You shrugged. “Why should I?”
“It’s your passion?” he suggested.
You just stayed silent. “This is your room. There’s a bathroom connected, so if you need anything, just tell me. You have free reign of the house, just obviously not my bedroom… so yeah.”
He nodded. “Thank you, do you need anything for your head?”
You shook your head. “Sleep.”
He nodded. “Text me if you need anything-”
“No screens,” you reminded him. He frowned.
You couldn’t shout, and neither could he, neither of you could text, but you had to communicate somehow. He had an idea. “I have an idea,” he said.
You stared at him expectantly.
“Walkie talkies.”
And you laughed. You genuinely, unashamedly, fully, laughed. And it was a sound he would do anything to hear again. The tension broke. The house didn’t feel as suffocating as it once had, and it felt as easy as being in the garage. He felt himself smile, smiling at you. He liked seeing you smile, the kind of smile that showed your teeth, that made your nose scrunch, that made him see the small glimpse of you.
Not the racer, not the fighter, not the victor. You.
“That works,” you nodded, the smile still on your lips. You looked down for a moment. “Thank you for taking care of me, Oscar. It means a lot. No one’s ever… done this for me.”
He frowned despite himself and cursed himself when he saw that you noticed. “I’m happy to be here. I’m happy that I get to make sure you’re ok.”
You offered him a sad smile, and left him to ‘find his bearings’ in his room. He huffed as he sat on the bed, looking around the room. There was a vanity with a mirror (we wouldn’t use it, but maybe he'd put the sunscreen his sister had been bugging him to use there, just to see if he’d remember to use it in the mornings), aa bed (a king bed, which he was very happy with), bedside tables with some random lights, a wardrobe, a mirror, white walls, hardwood floors, and a big window seat. He looked out into the garden, and it was green. Plants, fruits, vegetables, everything. So that was your hobby. Gardening.
He chuckled. You were full of surprises. He wanted to figure every last one of them out.
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The next few days went quickly, mostly you two were on different schedules. Oscar was working during the way (no rest for any McLaren employee, especially not when you were P2 in the standings), while you slept and stayed up during the night. You went into the garden, caring for your plants all night long, reheated leftovers from Oscar (he was a surprisingly good cook), and listened to podcasts and music (at a low volume).
That all changed when he found you in the garden at 2am, soft music playing as you collected plums from your trees, he smiled.
“Busy?” he called out. You shook your head, placing them in the basket. “I didn’t realise you were such a gardener.”
“It’s peaceful,” you admitted. “Slow.”
“A racecar driver likes going slowly?” he questioned. You rolled your eyes, sitting beside him on the bench.
“Not all of us are the same on and off track, alright?”
He chuckled. “Fine, you got me there,” he admitted, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “What else does F1 driver Y/n Y/l/n like to do?”
And the air shifted for some inexplicable reason. He was too close to you, too personal, too… something. You felt everything tenfold, every hair on the back of your neck standing to full attention. He didn’t mean to make it sound flirty, surely. You told yourself.
He wasn’t even sure of that himself.
“I like dancing,” you answered, your voice soft and small, softer than he’d ever heard you. “When I was a kid I was a dancer. I gave it up for racing, but I still enjoy it.”
He swore he was the one with whiplash. You were so hot and cold. One minute you were telling him about you childhood dreams, the next you were screaming at him over the radio to go fuck himself. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “What about you?”
“I like to spend time with my family,” he admitted. “But you know that.”
You smiled, a small, shy smile, but a smile all the same (aka, he counted it as a win). “They seem fun.”
“They are,” he nodded, smiling brightly. “They’re crazy but I love them.”
“When they come to a race, I’d like to meet them,” you expressed. He stared at you for a moment. He really took you in, sitting there with your legs up against your chest looking nothing like the strong racecar driver you’d made him think was your only personality. He thanked his lucky stars that he got to see you like this. Laid back, shy, reserved, perfect, you.
“I’d like that,” he smiled.
“Me too.”
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He woke up one night (after 4 whole days of radio silence from the last night you’d spoken) to music playing in the living room. He silently crept downstairs as the smooth voices of Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra filled his ears. There you stood, swaying in your living room in your pjs as you ate your food. Your hair was down, your eyes were closed, your body just swayed. You looked so… free. Sometimes, he forgot you were only 22 (only a year younger than him, but whatever). You didn’t have regular friends that you could just talk to, you had colleagues who worked for the same team as you. You had no family support, you were effectively alone.
But you had him, and he reminded himself of that as he sat on the last step, watching you truly let go.
“You should join me,” you said, eyes closed, but still noticing his presence. “Dancing is good for your health.”
“Is it now?” he smirked, getting up and joining you, despite the nerves in his stomach.
You nodded, wrapping an arm around his neck, your eyes still firmly closed. “It’s physical exercise.”
He nodded, placing his hands on your waist. He leaned as close as he could to your face, studying every detail he could. Every freckle, every crinkle of your eyes, every acne scar, all of it. And he thought you were perfect.
Your eyes opened, and you had a small smile on your lips, standing on his feet as he swayed you both. “You’re staring at me.”
“You’re worth staring at,” he admitted.
“Smooth,” you chuckled. Again, whiplash.
You laid your head against his chest, letting him take the lead for a few moments. “Oscar?”
He hummed.
“Thank you for being my friend. I’ve never had one of those before. It’s really nice.”
As much as your confession broke his heart, he was glad he could be your friend, even if he hoped he could be something more.
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Zandvoort rolled around, and the garage was buzzing. You were catching Max, only 30 points between the two of you, as the title fight truly began. The RB20 was falling back, and you were only getting quicker. 5 wins under your belt. Monaco, Canada, Austria, UK, Hungary. You were a winner, and a podium anywhere else. Lando was only falling further behind, as the team shifted their focus to you. You got more attention, more praise, more weight on your shoulders. More people came to you, treated you with respect, acted differently.
It was a lot. You were overwhelmed.
But Oscar stayed the same. Always the voice of reason, the voice of calm in the storm that was F1. He was calm over the radio, celebrating with you when you crossed the line first.
You’d won on max’s home turf. That was truly something.
“You’ll go on the podium with me, right?”you asked as you crossed the line.
He smiled in the garage, blushing slightly. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
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“Something worth celebrating!” Zak cheered as he entered the garage.
You were soaked in champagne, but happy all the same. It had been a hard season, but you were trudging on and continuing, looking forward to the things on the horizon. You were the woman with the highest points scored, ever. You had multiple wins in a row. You were in the title fight. You were a rookie.
“Something to be proud of,” Oscar nudged your arm, smiling as he sat beside you in the debriefing room. You offered him a soft smile.
“Thanks Osc,” you answered, unaware of the way you’d made his heart beat far too fast for something as simple as a nickname.
“Stop eye-fucking each other,” Lando scoffed.
“Stop trying to fuck her races up, then come back to me,” Oscar shot back. Lando did have some sort of love for fucking up your races (cough cough Belgium cough cough).
Lando shut up.
It was nice to have someone in your corner.
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where we meet. (e.w.)
when ur a monsterfucker n its kinktober lol am i right guys
*silence*
…..
thank u 4 the pointers baby :3 ilysm @elliesbelle
wc;cw: 17.8k, baker!oc, demon!ellie, HEAVY ANGST [mentions underage drinking + alcoholism + drunk driving + car accidents + death], oc’s an eldest daughter… yeah, HORROR? [gore + animal death/mutilation? + vomit + idk scary shit like blood n stuff], SMUT!!!!![HEAVY DUBCON + sexual tension + ellie shape shifts LOL + her tongue is barbed and forked and long like a fruit rollup + blood drinking + fucking outside HAHA + splash of sadism + edging + tentacles WOOO THIS BITCH IS SHAKING THE TABLE!!! + pain kink + spit but venomous + lots of cum/squirting + anal/d!p + err restraint? + oral + crazy size kink + dirty talk + masturbation? + dumbification/mind break + dacryphilia + burning/marking
“Alright, my love! A dozen red velvet cupcakes, four slices of carrot cake, and ten brownies!”
You handed two large brown bags filled with desserts over to your favorite regular, Roxanna, “I threw in two complementary cannolis, don’t tell Hattie, please!” You whispered.
The older woman laughed, turning to depart with the sweet treats, “She ain’t getting a word outta me. Thank you, baby. See you soon.”
“Have an amazing birthday! Try not to get too rowdy on that yacht, now!”
“Girl, I’m grown! If one of my guests show up without a bottle, they ain’t gettin’ on, point blank!” You both giggled.
She blew you a kiss and scurried off, the small bell above the door ringing at her exit. You sighed and scurried to the back and into the kitchen, untying your apron and hanging it on the coat rack.
“Now, Miss Hattie— “
“I know you ain’t tryna disrupt my craft right now. You know better!” The elderly woman had her gray hairs pinned back under her hair net, practically squatting near the counter as she perfected the icing job on the three-layered wedding cake, shrouded in gold and sparkly silver. Your heart grew fonder at the slight tremble in her hands as she piped sprouts of buttercream around the cake topper.
Hattie, despite her stubbornness, was reason your… fresh start went so smoothly. Meeting her was a blessing in disguise; It was raining when you stumbled upon the old bakery she worked at years ago. You’d just moved as far as you could from your hometown, in desperate need of a job. She turned down your desperate pleads time and time again, that is until you showed up to the shop one last time, drenched in rain, with your homemade red velvet cake.
She’d nearly cracked you with a broom herself when she saw you standing by the service stand, but you pleaded one last time, and left the foil wrapped dish on the register counter without another word. You’d piqued her interest. Just a smidge.
You’d received a call from a random number — the owner of the shop— days later, offering you a position at the local bakery.
As a dishwasher.
Your victory didn’t last long, however. Turns out your boss was a thieving bastard, cutting all the employee's earnings by a third months after you were hired. You were shocked no one shoved a piping bag up his ass.
Weeks later, you were out of a job. And so was Hattie.
… Did she reluctantly ask you for tips on how you made your cake that moist as you two waited for the bus, hairnets still on? Absolutely. And you shared them on the ride back to her small home.
She swiftly became your support, your right-hand man, your newfound comfort only after a few months. You silently thank the universe for her everyday; You couldn’t imagine opening your spot without her with you, making sure to double — triple whatever shit pay her previous boss gave her.
“C’mon, Roxie just picked up. We needa head out now,” Closing was always a hassle whenever Hattie was in the zone. The extra five minutes she often requested easily turned into an hour if not regulated; Bless her heart.
She sighed and stretched, “Alright,” Reluctance in her tone. “You’re lucky my grandkids are coming to see me tomorrow!” She set her piping bag down and allowed you to stroll the wedding cake into the walk-in fridge.
Hattie hardly ever asked for time off; You practically have to shove her out your bakery doors every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years! The only request — demand she’s ever made was no work on Halloween. She gave you explicit instructions when you hired her years ago: don’t call my phone during the day of evil!
Her request threw you for a whirl at first. You assumed she was joking because what seventy-year-old woman still cares about Halloween and its lore? When she hadn’t laughed with you, however, you apologized and offered her three days off for the end of October. Everyone deserves to be with their family, regardless of time of year.
You wished you had someone to call during the cozy Fall.
You threw yourself into work the second you got the chance. Opening your bakery a year ago was something you’d been working towards since you made your first batch of cupcakes at ten years old. You and your mother baked until your arms burned from kneading years after that, and the hobby swiftly became your down time. Your shop was small and crowded, but your name was printed on the door.
You never thought you’d be able to own anything after the last decade of being locked up, after the accident you’d caused.
That horrid day and its repercussions continues to loom over you like a dark cloud no matter where you go, filling your life with trails of dread that refuse to be washed away. You lost your family, some friends, a potential partner, and it was all because of one mindless decision during your reckless and dark teenage years.
To put it bluntly, you never recovered. Everyday is a struggle, but you’ve managed to distract yourself with work. Your newfound friends hate that they never see you, but you beg them to accept that you're busy whenever you receive an invitation to dinner.
Sadly, your accomplishments are not companions, and your heart is forever vacant. Nothing — or no one — will change that.
No matter how many times you’ve tried to reach out to your loved ones, your calls go unanswered. You came to terms with the fact that they’ll always see you as the force that destroyed their unity — the disappointment, ages ago, but your heart still longs for their affection.
You wake up and hope for their forgiveness everyday.
“You comin’?”
Miss Hattie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts as you silently walked her to the door, her work bag in hand and ready to go.
“No, ma’am. Still gotta check the inventory.”
She sucked her teeth, “I coulda still been decorating— “
“Enough of that! Get on home!” You waved her off with a smile.
“Uh huh,” She rolled her eyes and left with a nod, “See you next week!”
You waved goodbye, shutting the door fully and flipping the open sign to close.
You stretched your arms above your head, your achy shoulders and neck popping with stiffness. All you wanted was a fucking massage.
You made your way back to the kitchen, clipboard in hand, marking off products that desperately needed refilling. What kind of bakery runs out of sugar? Sugar!
The bus ride home was nauseating; You need your own car desperately.
You politely greeted your neighbors as they left the elevator before heading to your floor. The late afternoon sun was blooming through the hallway windows of your building. You unlocked your door, the waft of cool air from the open window in your living room brushing your skin.
You tossed your bag off your shoulders, and it thudded to the floor, the overworked bones in your arms cracking when you stretched them up at the ceiling.
The small ball of fur rubbing against your leg rejuvenated you in seconds.
Your cat meowed happily when you bent down to plant kisses on her head. She followed you into the kitchen as you heated the kettle on the stove, hopping onto the counter to watch you work.
“You know better. Get down,” your eyes squinted.
She only tilted her head at you before sitting on the granite completely. You were too tired to move her.
Whistles erupted from the small hole in the pot minutes later. You filled your mug to the brim with the soothing herbal tea your friends gave you before heading into your bedroom.
You closed your blinds and undressed completely, plopping onto your blankets, taking sips from your mug as exhaustion and warmth flooded your body.
The last thing you remember was your cat walking all over your back.
THUD, THUD THUD THUDTHUD—
Your body shook awake at the pounding coming from the entrance of your home. Anxiety surged in your gut when the loud knocks against wood came to a sudden halt, only to start up again, even more frantic and aggressive.
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD—
You kicked your blankets off and sat up, your sweaty form clinging to the sheets as you searched around your room. Everything was where it was supposed to be, but your door was wide open. You never leave your door open. Did you shut your door when you came home from…
Where were you before this?
You called for your cat once, twice, three times, but she never came. Your apartment was always quiet, but this silence… It was weighted, a heavy press on your chest.
You don’t remember how you got into your living room, but your toes were digging into the soft fluff of your rugs, attempting to sketch into the floor. Even the slightest movement felt like a fight against sludge. Like trekking through the rain in drenched clothes. The knocks didn’t cease, and was synced with the pounding in your ears.
The walls were breathing. Why couldn’t you breathe? You swore you were going to throw up.
The painted plaster moved in waves, your door plunging in and out of its frame, back and forth like a pendulum, but you couldn’t see behind it; Your toenails scratched harder into the floor. You couldn’t stop staring at the door. Every nerve in your brain was urging you to run, find a place to hide, but your body wouldn’t allow it. You simply stood, trapped in a cloud of distress.
The banging stopped and you inhaled, air finally filling your lungs. The feel of fabric beneath your toes was no longer there: something softer than hardwood. Something squishy, something sticky and wet with hair. Your nails tore into it, oddly comforted by the sensation.
All was quiet again, the familiar steadiness of your home calming your racing heart.
Until a weak, wheezing exhale came from beneath you; You nearly missed it. Your heart rate skyrocketed when you peered at your feet.
Your cat’s neck and stomach were sliced open, her small organs pouring out of the large slit in her body. Maggots and spiders were crawling all over her, your feet completely drenched in her blood and your nails plunged deep into her decomposing skin. The insects devouring your nearly dead pet rushed up your legs at an alarming rate, tearing into your thighs like desperate rats fiending for a meal.
You woke up screaming.
“Girl…”
“I don’t know why that happened! I’ve never had a dream like that before!” All the lights were on in your home, your kitty purring in your lap as you stroked her comfortingly. “I know it’s late but can you come over? I’m honestly… freaked out right now.”
Your good friend, Celeste, exhaled over the line, “… Yeah,” she resigned. “Gimmie ten minutes. I love you. Just… try to relax.”
You breathed when she told you to, your head bobbing like she could see you, “Okay. I love you too.”
You almost didn’t want to hang up, but you’d already bothered your friend enough tonight. It’s been a while since you two hung out together; You hope she’s up for a sleepover!
Your kitty nuzzled your chin affectionately. You hoped she knew you would never hurt her.
“I’ve never been so horrified in my life!” You spoke around the sugary spoon in your mouth. “Dreams have never… felt like that for me. I swear, it doesn’t matter how deep my sleep paralysis is! I felt like I was really,” you quickly peered around the room for your kitty, praying she couldn’t hear you. “Stepping on her body! My poor angel.”
Celeste shoveled more ice cream into her mouth, “Girl, that’s fucking crazy,” she assured, nodding towards your sleeping baby on the table. “Just remember that nothing actually happened. You love her and she loves you.”
She continued after a heavy sigh. “But you know me. Dreams, nightmares, they’re all from something, and if it felt as real as you say…” Her brow arched at you. What the fuck is she talking about?
Her eyes rolled in exasperation, “Isn’t your coworker, like… mad superstitious? Queen, but still. The devil’s working, girl.”
You took a deep breath like she instructed a billion times over since she’s arrived. A smirk grew on her face.
“Plus… it’s that time of year. ,” she stuck her tongue out and playfully grabbed her tits, “We gettin’ slutty. Gotta show out for Scorpio season. I made my own costume.”
Your nerves calmed at the reminder of your friends' packed weekend. Since your only true time off was during the spooky season, they always encouraged you to join them in their reckless behavior, especially during your time off. You resigned from partying a long time ago, but did indulge in the lively atmosphere from time to time during the holiday season.
“You’re right,” you sighed and placed your hands over the resting ones on her chest.
“Thank you! Take that damn chef hat off!” she scolded. “No more business talk until— “
“Next week, I know,” you mocked, “And I don’t wear chef hats, thanks.”
“Don’t give a shit about any of that. I’m getting pipe tomorrow night,” Celeste fell back on the sofa, giddily kicking her feet in the air.
A hearty chuckle escaped you. Maybe you’d meet someone too.
You were finally able to get some rest— thank god for Celeste — and start organizing your costumes for the… large sum of parties they planned to drag you to.
You still haven’t completely recovered from your nightmare two nights ago. The vivid imagery that your subconscious conjured up still gives you the ick, but for the sake of your friends, you chose not to bring it up again. You silently thanked the universe when you managed to get a full nine hours the night before.
Your friends managed to pull you into the Halloween spirit and take you to… Spirit. Despite the void stares from your friends at your costume choices, you settled on the Zelda outfit that’d been on sale at Party City for the past two weeks. Celeste couldn’t stop herself from… cutting your costume up and making it as revealing as possible. She opted to cut off the sleeves, sew the pants into a skirt that hugged your body way too tightly, and did your makeup how she wanted. You didn’t stand a chance against her.
You despised how hot clubs get; You probably looked like you were melting.
You stayed as far away from the bar as you could, watching your friends down shot after shot as the night progressed. Your surroundings were crowded and stuffy, the bass of the DJ booth rattling from your feet all the way up to your chest. Your moves were sloppy and disoriented, but Celeste was behind you, grabbing your hips and supporting your weight.
Your thoughts were hazy and incoherent as your arms waved around to the beat. The music blasting in your ears turned into white noise; The environment completely entranced you, your eyes shutting at the weightlessness of your clammy body.
The hands behind you were suddenly grabbing tighter, yanking you closer, as you continued to dance.
You pushed back onto them and their arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back, yanking you close, your clammy flesh practically melding with theirs. Their scent engulfed you, rich and deep yet distinct. Your arm wrapped around the back of their neck, pulling them down while their hands explored your hips.
Their lips were on your neck, your head resting on their shoulder. Something hot was stirring in the pit of your stomach the more they swayed you, the arch in your back deepening; You haven’t felt wanted in so long.
You tried to spin to face them, but they held you still, pressing their chest into your backside. Your breaths picked up when they bit the most sensitive spot on your neck, your toes curling in your heeled boots, your manicured nails nearly chipping in your stockings.
Their mouth moved higher and higher, right under your ear, the hand coming up to wrap around your throat to hold you still. Your core squeezed as the grip on your neck tightened… and tightened… your airways were closing, and swiftly, the feeling was no longer pleasant. Your eyes snapped open when they didn’t let up, a shocked gasp escaping your dry mouth. The moment was no longer sensual, but straining and forceful. Almost angry.
Your lust turned to panic instantly, your eyes bulging as your nails dug into their hands, their taut thighs, their wrist, but they didn’t budge. You thrashed and shook with terror. You gasped for air and tried to push them off but it was all for naught.
Nobody came to help you. Suddenly all the faceless bodies around you were gone, heaps of black smoke pooling at your feet as you wailed for Celeste. The hands and lips were replaced with razor sharp claws and fangs as cold as ice against the side of your face, murmuring voices and screaming chants roaring in your ears. The former body grew monstrous, tripling in size and darkening.
The sensation of decaying, bloody skin was at your feet once more, fiery red ants and black widows nipping at your skin as the smoke flooded up your body, swallowing your calves, thighs, waist.
Weak shouts and begs for release went unheard by the force behind you. A faint whisper of your name made you sob harder; You’re going to die, you’re going to die, you’re going to die—
The whisper called your name again. And again. And again, much louder and urgent. Desperate for a response but all you could do was holler for your mother.
One last shout of your name made you drop to the floor, all the sensations surrounding your body gone. Your crown clanked onto the vibrating hardwood as drunk clubgoers gawked at you in confusion and annoyance, Celeste and your friends staring in concern, reaching to help you up.
But you couldn’t be touched. Any brush on your skin surged your heart to your throat. You needed to get the fuck out of here.
Your friends kept yelling about what happened, how they could help, but you couldn’t speak. You swore you were going to vomit.
You pushed yourself off the hardwood and through the crowd, away from your friends, away from everyone. Your smudged makeup stained your wrists, the shouts of your name going unheard as you shoved passed security and ran into the night.
You didn’t sleep at all that night.
You immediately left the club, hauled a taxi, and ran up into your apartment, double — triple checking to make sure all your doors were locked and windows were closed. You tore your costume off your body and threw it into your garbage before hopping into the shower. You desperately wanted to wash your hair, but you refused to close your eyes. The darkness when you blinked was haunting enough.
To put it lightly, you were fucking horrified.
Your body trembled under the steaming water, soft sobs escaping while you scrubbed your skin raw. Especially your shoulder.
Your phone rang off the hook until the sun rose, your kitty refusing to leave your lap. She never failed to comfort you in your times of need, but you barely rubbed her all night. All you could do is cry and think.
Your friends pounded on your door multiple times, but you refused to move from your bed. Their frantic knocking was very reminiscent of the pounding in your nightmare. You couldn’t shake how real everything felt: the comfort, the desire, the destress, the pure, unfiltered terror at the imagery of you being eaten alive by darkness. If you could even call it that: imagery.
Imagery is not enough to describe what you experienced. You were attacked in public, and no one bothered to help you. Nobody… saw anything.
You’re not fucking crazy.
Your friends were sweet enough to stop by the same afternoon with candles and lavender-scented bath bombs after your public breakdown. Their efforts at lifting your spirits didn’t go unnoticed, but your thoughts kept racing, every time you shut your eyes, even for a few seconds. How the hell were you going to explain what you saw that night?
Despite your friends’ skepticism, you were eventually able to convince them that you felt severely claustrophobic and the lack of air sent you spiraling.
… It wasn’t a complete lie, at least.
You were able to get some minuscule hours of sleep after they left before it was time to prepare for your shift. Dark circles were imprinted under your eyes, your skin was dry, and your uniform was not ironed, but you were up and moving. Small victories.
Your hand was practically glued to your forehead in extreme fatigue, your eyes burning at the brightness of your computer screen as you checked the time. Your emails always boomed during this time of year as people prepared for the holiday season; A good night's sleep seemed even farther away now.
You swiftly replied to each request with your availability before grabbing your bag and keys, kissing your kitty goodbye, and running down to the bus stop.
You greeted every familiar face with a polite smile before entering the already packed vehicle, the beginnings of a rising sun beaming through the scratched windows. You plopped onto the only available seat — farthest away from your neighbors — with a heavy exhale, your head falling against its rest.
This week is going to be so gruesome for orders; You prayed Ms. Hattie was prepared for it.
Returning to work was just as draining as you’d assumed.
Your business line has been ringing off the hook all morning, people asking for dozens of gingerbread cookies and wedding cakes layered to the ceiling. You could make a nest for yourself right on the clean tiles of the kitchen and nap.
You’ll never know how Ms. Hattie did it: wakes up at five in the morning and moves through decorating like a walk in the park. You can barely lift your arms and it’s only hour three.
You whipped egg whites and sugar like your life depended on it — it did — with your landline tucked between your shoulder and ear, reciting pick-up addresses and numbers in voicemails. You’re so fucking tired.
Hattie wasn’t, though. Just quiet. A bit too quiet.
She hasn’t said much since you’ve arrived. She got to the shop much earlier than expected, politely saying good morning when she caught you standing by the kitchen entrance. She hasn’t acknowledged you since. You tried to get some laughs out of her, but she only half-smiled before silently returning to her work.
You two continued to carefully wrap and deliver dessert-filled boxes like a well fueled machine up until the last minutes before closing. You stretched before grabbing the broom to sweep the entire shop, making your way into the kitchen where Hattie was staring off into nothing.
“Hey, girl. I can close up, so,” you murmured, wiping the sweat off your brow.
She seemed to be pulled out of her trance, “Oh, sorry hun,” Her head bobbed. “Are you sure you’re good on your own?”
“Yes, ma’am,” You paused. “Umm, are you doin’ okay? You seemed… I dunno, quiet, I guess.”
Hattie nodded, and you took it as an invitation to speak. “Somethin’ you wanna talk about? You didn’t even tell me how your weekend went. How’re the kiddos?” You asked gently, propping your broom against the wall.
A heavy exhale left her.
“I… Something was…” she stuttered.
Another deep inhale. Another lengthy exhale.
“Something felt different, no?” She whispered.
Your brows pulled down in confusion. “What d’you mean?”
“This… this weekend. Wasn’t it different?”
“Umm…” you pondered. “Not really, no. Why, what’s goin’ on?”
More silence before she huffed, “… Nothin’. You know how I get this time of year. Sorry, dear.” She turned and snatched her work bag off the counter before departing with a skittish nod, “See ya tomorrow.”
“W-Wait—“ You tried to stop her, but the kitchen door was already slamming shut, the small ding alarming Hattie’s departure from your shop.
You allowed your tense shoulders to drop, snagging the broom and heading towards the front of your shop for cleanup.
That was odd.
The front door of your apartment shut and you fell back against it in exhaustion. You desperately needed a massage.
You stretched before pushing yourself off the door and wobbling over to your cat’s area, refilling her bowl and cleaning her litter box. You clicked your tongue to lure her over to eat.
You called her name out when she didn’t come. You snagged her filled bowl and shook it, alerting your baby to come and eat. She still didn’t come. You huffed and made your way into your room; She probably took over your softest pillow again.
The bowl in your hand clattered to the floor and your screams nearly shattered your windows. Bile rose in your throat and you heaved at the scene in front of you.
Your beloved pet was dead. Completely mauled, her blood and organs pouring out of the giant slit that went from her throat to her stomach. Sobs wracked through you at the savage attack. The one source of comfort that you looked forward to seeing every morning and night was gone, snatched away from you in the blink of an eye. You've tried to alleviate your anxiety by suggesting that your nightmares are merely that. Dreams. Creations by your subconscious to try and solve issues that occur in your everyday life.
But nothing so heinous would ever cross your mind. You would never harm the precious angel who brought you healing in your times of need.
This wasn’t a coincidence. Someone came into your home while you were away. Someone killed your baby.
“We’re sorry, ma’am,” the county deputy sighed, “But there wasn’t any sign of breaking and entering. You stated that everything is where you left it, correct?”
“Everything wasn’t where I left it,” Anger rushed through you at the officer’s dismissiveness. “My cat was fucking fine before I went to work. I’d never… put her in an environment where she could be harmed,” Tears flooded your eyes.
“We understand that this was an attack done in your home. What happened here’s definitely not normal, but we won’t be able to solve everything in one night,” He consoled, “We’re getting a team here to investigate. I would suggest packing an overnight bag and staying with family or a friend until we get this situated.”
Family. You almost broke down.
When you didn’t respond, he interjected, “We can also find you a room to stay in for a few nights— “
“No, uh, thanks. I got it.”
You dug in your pocket for your phone and dialed Celeste. He nodded and spun towards his partner who jabbered into a walkie.
Your friend’s tone blared through the speakers, “Hiii, baby, what’s up! I haven’t heard from you in a minute.”
Your bottom lip wobbled, “Sorry I didn’t call. Um… can I ask a favor?”
“Of course you can. What’s the matter? Are you good?”
The floodgates that’d been building in your eyes overflowed, pouring down your cheeks and onto your work shirt. You wept.
“Can you come pick me up?”
“I just feel like… I feel like I’m going fucking crazy,” you whispered and picked at your fingers, “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but— “
“Nah, it makes perfect sense. You’re fucking psychic. That’s literally the only explanation,” your friend shook her head at you. “You dreamt about something and it happened a couple days after.”
“None of that shit is real, Celeste.” She sighed in disappointment.
“It’s not real to you,” she pointed from the other side of the couch. “My grandmomma was a witch—“You huffed and adjusted the blanket draped over your shoulders.
“But, hey,” she raised her hands in defense. “I can’t make you believe anything. But coming from the most superstitious bitch in town, somebody is trying to tell you something. You’re not freaked out?”
“Of course I’m freaked out! But I'm not wasting my time thinking about some… fuckin’ ghost— “
“What happened when we were at the club?”
Your blood went ice cold. You couldn’t stop the pure terror that spread across your face at the mention of that night. You’ve attempted to block… whatever happened out of your memory for the last couple days for your sake, but Celeste read you like a book, and you hated her for it.
“Exactly. Are you ready to talk about it now?”
“I… I told you what happened— “
“You lied about what happened. And don’t try to argue,” She leaned closer, eyes comforting. “We tried calling out to you for so long. We thought somebody fucking… laced you, or something, you were so zoned out. We were this close to calling the fucking police.”
“… What do you mean? I lost y'all in the crowd before I started dancing with somebody— “
Celeste shook her head, “No.”
Your throat went dry, the blood rushing to your head almost making you faint.
“We tried to tell you, baby. But we didn’t wanna push you to talk to us about it,” she said gently. “We were with you the entire time.”
The tightness in your chest wouldn’t subside, shuddering breaths leaving your nose with every denial from Celeste.
“No one else came up to us,” she whispered, “and no one danced with you.”
Your head kept shaking in attempts to disprove her claims, in attempts to combat the fear that was attempting to slice you from the inside out, but deep down, you knew she was onto something.
Celeste’s hold sadly didn’t bring comfort, but she held you close anyway, ensuring that you’re not by yourself, but all you could think about was your mother. The smile she used to give you whenever you succeeded never failed to recharge the dying battery in your back. It’s depressing how little impact her grin has on you in adulthood.
The dark cloud of your past cascaded over the two of you; If she were here, your best friend would’ve forced you into the passenger side of her father’s pick-up, already halfway across town by now, set to isolate. To escape.
“Whoever did this is incredibly strategic,” The tall detective stated with a journal in his hand, “They didn’t leave traces of anything: hair, fingerprints, nothing. It’s almost like they never broke in.”
You haven’t been able to get any sleep or go to work for the last week, completely isolated inside your friend’s home. When you received a phone call from the detective assigned to your case, you caught the first bus you could and flew back to your apartment complex. You don’t remember the ride.
Your hope plummeted at his declaration, even with his reassurance, “We’re doing everything we can to find this person. Your safety is our number one priority.”
He gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, and it brought you comfort. While you weren’t satisfied with their reports, you could see that he was trying. Was this your first time meeting him?
He seemed familiar, but you couldn’t place it.
He stared into your eyes with a gentle grin and continued, “If we should even call them that. They’re a cold-blooded, heartless fiend that needs to be taken out.”
Your brows furrowed at his sudden determination, but your head bobbed in agreement. Your mind was racing but you couldn’t say anything. Someone killed your baby. Did his grip on you tighten? You couldn’t move.
“The bastards that get away with such vicious crimes need to be put away forever,” his tone was harsh and sharp, and it made your fingers twitch. Your stomach plummeted when his smile stretched higher, his teeth shin
His other hand landed on your other shoulder. You tried to move back, but you couldn’t, “S-Sir— “
“They need to be hung from the ceiling by their throats and slaughtered like fucking pigs! Like the worthless animals they are! —“
His spit landed on your face at his screams. He hollered about how much he hated killers, how they were scum and deserved to be tortured. How you…
“You thought we forgot about what you did?” He whimpered; prior menacing smile vanished.
The bearded man in front of you was sobbing, his gaze pinning you against the wall. He didn’t blink and his eyes were bloodshot, his mouth turned downward, the corners of his lips nearly touching his chin. Your eyes frantically traveled over his form, his uniform replaced with pajamas and slippers.
“YOU’RE A KILLER! YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER, YOU’RE A KILLER! —“
Cursed murmurs amplified his pained shouts. Your home was melting away, the walls seeping into the floor before you dropped, the terror weakening your limbs. Your nails dug into the grass and dirt below you, panic electrifying your system.
The man was gone, but you were outside in the middle of the night, decomposing trees surrounding you. You tried to stand but you couldn’t. You were forced to take in the scene that you wished to never see again. The one scene that your subconscious couldn’t eliminate no matter how hard you tried to forget.
Your parents' car— wrecked car. The vehicle was completely destroyed, the bumper and windscreen ran into a tree. You screamed and shouted but no noise left, the sinister chants resounding in your ears. The wreckage seemed to move, closer, closer, your eyes locking onto the two bodies inside completely mangled in the accident.
The two bodies were younger you, thrown over the dashboard and your arm twisted to an alarming degree, blood running down your head and mouth, shards of glass piercing through the skin of your bare legs.
You couldn’t stop yourself from peering at the body beside you. You hollered for help, cried and begged to wake up, all while staring at your best friend — your soulmate, completely maimed from the waist up. It was just as brutal as you remember: her blood splattered all over the airbag, her limbs shattered and broken, large pieces of glass pierced into her skull. You were sick, you were sick.
Suddenly, the mantras that attempted to swallow you whole stopped.
Then there was laughter. Your soulmate’s laughter, but it wasn’t how you remembered. It was darker, hollow, empty. Enraged.
Everything around you went dark.
Sobs tear through your throat the second your eyes open, the comforting scent of Celeste’s lavender candles intruding your senses. Your body was drenched in sweat, and you could hear your friend calling out to you, her cold hands on your face, but you couldn’t think. You just screamed. Her attempts of trying to sit you up failed, your fingers hanging onto her sheets for dear life. You were paralyzed with fear.
Somehow, your biggest regret came to pay you a visit.
Your instincts finally kick in, pushing Celeste off you and bolting towards her bedroom door. She was calling for you; she even reached out to touch you, but you pushed her harder.
She screamed for you to stop, and you lost it.
“Get the fuck away from me! STOP — stop fucking touching me!” you rush out into her living room and towards her front door.
Shocked plastered across your friend’s face.
Celeste whispered your name; Why did she sound like her?
“I gotta get the fuck outta here, I can’t,” heave, “I can’t fucking do this, I can’t, I can’t — “
Distraught mumbles fled your tongue on your way out, not bothering to look back at your friend. You heard her sniffling before the door slammed shut, guilt swarming your chest, but it wasn’t enough to overcast the terror ripping you open from the inside out.
After vomiting outside of Celeste’s apartment building, — multiple times — you took your leave. As fast as you could. You couldn't say a word to her; She desperately tried to get information out of you, but your throat felt like it would crack open at the slightest whisper. The fear you’d been trying to invalidate crashed into you all at once.
You fled without your belongings, only slowing when night goers surrounded you in the city.
Celeste has been worried sick about you this entire time, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care.
Your steps were jerky and quick, and you kept scratching at your shoulder. You felt her everywhere. All over you, but it wasn’t comforting. Not like it used to be.
You walked and walked, your mind racing with moments from your past: the last moments with your best friend. Your kryptonite. The scar in your shoulder was covered in fresh, red lines from your nails.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You frantically shoved your books into your locker, anticipating the alarm that sounded for lunch. You can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
The second it goes off, you're booking it for the door. You hoped Ellie kept her word and brought your birthday present.
You busied yourself in your small cubby whenever security or teachers walked by, politely greeting them with the most innocent smile you could muster. They didn’t bat an eye, wishing you a happy birthday before turning the corner at the end of the hall.
You gave them all fake greetings until the loud tone blared through the hallway speakers, students instantly rushing out of their classrooms to head to the cafeteria. You grabbed your now empty backpack and merged with the crowd, trekking for the exit. You managed to scurry through the double doors of the school and bolted towards your parents’ old car, ducking behind the driver's side as you waited for your best friend.
You texted her a few times but she didn’t respond for minutes. You almost gave up and returned inside the building before two hands pinched your sides from behind. A squeal left your mouth when you whipped around. Ellie snorted at you, her arms wrapping around your neck in a tight hug. You reluctantly hugged her back.
HAAAPPY BIIIRTHDAAAY TOOO YOUUU—
You shushed her shouts with a smile, Shut up! Someone might hear you.
She kissed your cheek before releasing you, No ones fucking here, relax. Open the door, her head jerked towards the vehicle.
You stealthily unlocked it and the two of you jumped in. You shoved the key into the ignition as Ellie cranked the speakers all the way up, your car rattling with bass as you two exited the parking lot and zoomed down the main street.
Ellie belted Cherry Waves out the window, bright laughs leaving your throats as you drove to… anywhere. Times like this always bring you joy; You love being around her.
Ditching class might’ve not been the best birthday celebration, but you were having a ball.
You drove until you reached the end of town. There was a small campground that you and Ellie found on your first couple drives together, and it swiftly became your little get away spot. You’d spend hours talking, drawing, screaming at the top of your lungs until the sun disappeared and your parents demanded you come home.
You two raced to your designated spot by the lake, Ellie’s filled backpack slamming onto the sand, glass clattering from the inside. You mischievously eyed it, I think someone owes me a present!
I don’t owe you shit. I’m a good friend, say thank you, She rolled her eyes. You grabbed her hands and clumsily twirled her.
Thank you, Ellieee! you nearly ripped her bag apart as you inspected the contents.
Don’t go too crazy. Remember what happened last time? her smile was light, but you could tell she was scolding you. You snickered.
Um, yeah. We had a ball. Help me open this, you downplayed, passing her the unopened bottle.
You know exactly what she’s referring to; You might’ve drank a bit too much at your friend’s birthday dinner. And Christmas party… and when you all went to the fair, but it was all in good fun! You’re young and living life; Ellie’s always a bit dramatic when she comments on your drinking.
Ellie snatched the bottle and opened it, taking a large swig from it before handing it back. You followed in her lead, taking three large gulps of the liquid, the burn flowing down your throat and into your stomach. Ellie pulled her speaker out of her bag and queued your joint playlist.
The two of you drank and sang and danced until sunset, your vision blurry and legs wobbly. Ellie was sweet enough to help you back to the car, snagging the keys from your pocket before helping you into the passenger side. You tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t understand. She always looked so cute when you mumbled nonsense, wispy brows pulled down with a light smile. You felt so happy whenever she was around.
She drove you back home and you threw up all over your front yard. Somehow, she snuck past your parent's room without hassle, ushering you into bed. You couldn’t stop laughing; Her bright smile only made you cackle louder before her hand pressed against your mouth.
—
Ellie’s soft palms moved up and down your arm bare, occasionally squeezing your bicep. You couldn’t stop smiling, goosebumps following the drag of her fingertips.
You’re such a dork, she whispered between snickers.
You love me, you said much louder, but she hummed. The look in her eye was suddenly far away. You nervously nibbled at your bottom lip, your eyes dropping to her mouth. Did her lips always look this soft?
You admired every aspect of her face in silence, your index finger continuing to trace over the bridge of her nose, the apple of her cheeks, down to her chin. Ellie’s a sight.
Your hazy mind barely noticed the tint on her cheeks, your bedroom dimly lit by the moonlight cascading in from your window. Her eyes were glued to your mouth.
She inched closer, her moves subtle. You would’ve missed it if she wasn’t right there.
You don’t know what came over you, but your mouth pressed against hers. Her lips were stiff against yours, and it made you pull away.
She didn’t seem… happy, not how you felt. Her expression was gloomy, her eyes flashing with… everything and nothing at the same time. You locked up instantly.
You love me, Ellie… right?
Your tongue felt swollen in your mouth when you slurred.
Ellie didn’t answer, and you held yourself up on your elbow, your brain alarming your legs to get up and leave. To abandon.
Ellie… d-do you love me?
O-Of course I do—
The tremors in her voice sliced through you like a hot blade. Her confirmation was only meant to appease, your drunk brain told you. Ellie doesn’t love you, not like that. Your own parents’ love is conditional; Why wouldn’t hers be?
—
You were never a rebellious kid.
Your parents always praised you for being a remarkable role model for your younger siblings: incredible listener, studious, eager to help others. They never failed to highlight, amplify, pressure your good behavior. But their doting smiles disappeared when you failed to meet their expectations.
The transition from middle to high school was rough for you. Your grades suffered and you were surrounded by other kids you didn’t recognize, and your “star-student” streak vanished in an instant. You’ve never seen your family so disappointed in you.
You broke your back trying to save your academic status for the next few years. You hardly slept, ate, spent time with your newfound friends, and it was all for your parents. They didn’t acknowledge you until that offer to join the early-college program came in the mail during your sophomore year. When you accepted that you needed to have something to show to get their affection, you spiraled downward.
You swiftly replaced the emptiness in your heart with a bunch of seniors. They agreed to let you tag along if you could hang, so you did whatever was necessary to gain their companionship: started sneaking out, staying out late, going to parties that you had no business being at.
Started drinking.
Just one sip, loosen up! Little did you know that’s all it took to get you hooked.
The drink was rancid and a gross, murky color. You weren’t enjoying it, so why couldn’t you put the cup down for the rest of the night? You threw back cup after cup until you were unconscious on the front porch of the house. None of your friends bothered to take you inside where it was safe.
You barely recall being hauled back inside and upstairs, plush pillows under your head as you drifted off. When you woke, you swiftly decided that the pounding in your head and the nausea in your gut was worth it. Last night was the freest you’d ever felt. You almost missed the small sticky note stuck on your arm. Someone gave you their phone number, demanding that you tell them if you made it out alive (i hope so.)
You gained a best friend from that sloppily scratched note.
Meeting Ellie was a blessing. She was funny, smart and kind. She was so nice to you. None of your old friends treated you like she did. Ellie’s friends were much warmer and welcoming when she introduced you to them for the first time. Every time they had plans, you were invited, no conditions needed.
Every vacant space in your heart was filled with something brighter. It’s unfortunate that your brain has already mastered its attachment to something more dangerous.
Ellie… for the billionth fucking time, I don’t have a problem. Can you just let it go? you scoffed from your bed.
I’ll let it go when you cut it out. You can’t do shit without it anymore, She spat, pointing at the McDonald’s cup filled with Tequila. You grinned nastily and sipped your straw. You were so sick of having this conversation with your friends. With her.
Yes, I can. I’m fine. See? You sarcastically rubbed all over your body. Another huge gulp. I dunno why y'all are acting like this. I’m not the only one that drinks.
You’re not fuckin’ fine, first of all! It was fun at first, but you don’t know how to control yourself! You’re scaring everybody off, Her arms flailed as her voice rose. You’re so happy your parents are working.
You weren’t “scaring everybody off”; You did have some outbursts some time ago, but your friends were still around. They always called you for a fun time, and you were always there to show out.
Oh my fucking god, you’re so extra, you got up with your cup, grabbing Ellie’s hand and leading her into the bathroom down the hall. You removed the lid and dumped its contents out; You tried to hide the surge of anxiety as you watched it go down the drain.
See? I can stop whenever I want.
Then stop, she whispered, sadness in her eyes, No more… okay?
The emotions flowed through her eyes like water, and it made you uncomfortable. You already wanted a refill, but you nodded to appease her.
O-Okay, Ellie, I’m sorry, you whispered, and she hugged you so tight. Kissed your clothed shoulder, and it gave you solace, even if it was just temporary.
But when she left, you were alone, comforted by the temptation of your own thoughts. You broke into your parents’ locked liquor cabinet that same night.
—
When you showed up to exam day drunk, Ellie began to pull away.
She didn’t bother to beg and yell when you were entranced by your vice. You simply saw her less, and your heart cracked whenever your calls went unanswered.
Abandonment was the worst feeling, even more so when it’s a result of something you’ve done. Your anxiety spiked significantly when you strolled around campus and your friends ignored you, and it only made you drink more when you got home. The acidic pacifier you discovered was turning you into someone unrecognizable. You were failing, and you were alone. You’d wished your siblings were older so you could talk to them.
Everything came crashing when your parents received an alarmed call from your principal.
You’d been vomiting in the nurse's office for half an hour, and they ended up calling the ambulance. Your stomach was getting pumped hours later.
When you regained consciousness, the only thing you could hear were your mother’s hysteric sobs in the hall.
—
Summer came along, and you were out of rehab. Withdrawal fucking sucked; It took you almost three weeks to fall asleep in the center.
You didn’t expect to see Ellie and your friends sitting on your porch when your parents pulled into the driveway, flowers and your favorite candy in hand. Your best friend cried into your shoulder for an hour straight; You refused to let her go as you sobbed into hers. You’d missed hugging her.
When everyone was seated on your parents' couch, you offered to share the secret to get melty, gooey chocolate chip cookies every time. They couldn’t stop grinning at you; You were finally back to normal.
Ellie spent the night at your house and hugged you to her chest until you drifted off.
You accepted that you were a terrible person when all you could think about was a drink. Just one.
All the promises you made were broken a few months later, crushed into dust by your own hand.
—
Everyone you loved hated you. Liquor always forced you to see the truth in people, melted away the fantasy that you created out of self-preservation. It fueled the rage that you desperately tried to keep hidden from your family; You’re so fucking mad, and you can’t remember why.
Your parents hated you; your siblings hated you, your best friend, the one person you have to confide in, the only thing you had left to love, hated you. Everyone hated you, and it was all your fault. Selfishness was the only way one could be a successor.
The second Ellie climbed into your parents’ car with that soft look in her eye, fury swallowed you whole. You barely said a word to her, her favorite song cranked to maximum volume.
Ellie? Your voice was quiet, but you were seething. You don’t remember why.
Hm?
D-Do you still care about me? your hands were clenched around the wheel so tightly, you thought it would snap in two. She was suddenly tense in the passenger seat, but she whispered without hesitation. Of course, I do… always.
But you didn’t believe her.
Ellie should’ve never agreed to go on a drive with you.
The way Ellie whipped her head towards you was vicious, her hand slamming onto the volume button of your car to silence the noise. You hated how she knew instantly.
… Are you fucking drunk right now?
There it was. All the proof you needed. Confirmation that you were nothing but a disappointment. You hadn’t moved from the stop sign. Self-loathing thrashed from the inside; your teeth are bound to crack like glass with the tightness of your jaw.
She’d whispered your name with so much disdain. A molten tear eased down your face like magma. This was the same residential area you parallel parked in for your driver’s test.
Your eyes were glued onto the dimly lit street as Ellie cried and begged for you to stop the car. She admitted to loving you and apologized for everything she said that could’ve hurt your feelings. All you had to do was stop the car and everything would be fine, she said. You pressed the gas so hard; it nearly touched the floor of the vehicle.
I love you… Please don’t do this… I love you so much…
Ellie’s last scream was haunting before everything went silent.
—
The reality around you never rebuilt itself after that night.
You were able to convince yourself that the accident didn’t happen for a few weeks. Until your best friend’s burial. According to your parents last voicemail, Ellie’s father wanted to strangle you with his bare hands. You took his life away with one decision. No one contacted you after that. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your friends.
You were charged and placed in juvenile detention until you were of legal age, and sent off to prison for another six years after that.
Your habit fed you lies about the people you loved most, and it cost the life of your only constant. The one person who tried to get you to change. The purest form of love you had.
You killed your soulmate, and you never recovered.
PRESENT
You walked until you reached Hattie’s front porch. Your calves were on fire.
Your tightly clenched fist pounded on the wood with all the strength you had left. You could see the shadows of someone walking around inside, but she didn’t open the door. She probably wanted nothing to do with you after not showing up to work for weeks, but you were desperate.
“M-Ms. Hattie, please,” you hollered, “I really need t’talk to you! Please, please— “
The door barely creaked open. You expected her to scream and berate you for disrupting her so late in the night, but she was silent. Didn’t utter a word. She only peered through the small crack in the doorway, her eyes bloodshot. Her voice sounded graveled, like she hadn’t slept in days.
“What the hell are you doin’ here.”
“Ms. Hattie, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where to go,” You harshly wiped your eyes, “May I please— “
“No, you may not,” her glare sliced through you, sharper than any knife. You bawled.
“Please, I’m beggin’ you, ma’am— “
“What…” her voice quivered, her gaze breaking away from yours for a split second.
“What did you do… to that girl?” She whispered like it pained her, and it felt like your chest would concave.
“… W-What?”
The look on her face was enough for you.
She knows. She knew.
“It was you,” tears filled the woman’s eyes, “I had a dream that you… How could you do that… That poor baby…”
Your head shook in denial. It was an accident, you wanted to scream, I don’t know what came over me! Your eyes squeezed shut and you fell to your knees, thunderous pleads leaving your throat as you begged her to listen. You hunched over and miserably tried to grab at her feet.
I loved her, I loved her, I loved her! You couldn’t speak.
“Whatever happens t’you…”
“No, nonono!—“
“I hope God… the universe… whoever the hell,” She spat, “Has mercy on you.”
You couldn’t stop screaming. Your voice was muffled by the concrete floor.
“Get the fuck off my porch.” And the door slammed in your face. You heard the locks click, and just like that, your last inkling of hope shunned you.
You hadn’t realized you’d been screaming for Ellie until you sat up, burning eyes glued to the dark, cloudy sky.
The sun rose from behind as you climbed your apartment steps.
The bundle of police cars and black trucks outside the building were an indication of your case being ongoing, but it brought you no comfort. A constant ache was present in your chest every time you breathed. Murmurs erupted from behind as you dragged your body inside, ignoring the deputies who were urging you off the premises.
Officers and residents stared at you in confusion, shock, bewilderment the second you hopped off the elevator. Exhaustion was pouring out of you, your under eyes almost black and pajamas wrinkly. You can’t recall the last time you showered.
The elevator dung, and you made your way down the hall, police tape surrounding your front door. You dodged it and crept in, the sight of the investigators almost sending you into a panic.
Terror built in your spine as they gawked at you; Ellie’s fucking with you. You’re probably asleep right now.
“Ma’am?”
You shakily turned towards the investigator assigned to your case. “Are you alright?”
No. You nodded, “I came to get some things.”
Some silence passed before you spoke.
“I need a place to stay,” your cuticles were scabbing. “As far away from here as possible… if that’s even allowed.” Your living room felt like it was tipping.
Their brows furrowed, scanning over your ragged appearance, “Um… The farthest we can place you is about a half hour away. We still need to monitor you… Especially now.” You bit the dig with a tilted head.
You nearly leaped into the air at the sudden, distant ring in your ears.
“Will y’all still cover m’stay?” The tremor in your hands built with the shrilling pierces in your drums.
“Yes… Are you sure everyt— “
“I’m fine! I’m fi— I’m fine!” The shrieks overwhelmed you, both hands coming up to cover your ears, your head pounding. Foreign hands were attempting to steady your hunched form, but to no avail. Your body gave out completely, pained wails leaving your dry lips.
I’m fine, I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine—
You tried. You tried your hardest, but you couldn’t convince anyone — yourself that you were okay. Something’s here. When did the air in your home get so cold?
The softest call of your name frosted the blood in your veins.
You’re hallucinating; You have to be. Don’t look up. Don’t open your eyes.
The voice called again, elation enriching her tone. Your head shook in disbelief.
It can’t be.
“L-Look at me. I’m here! I'm okay!”
No, no no no, you told yourself. Sobs wracked through your hunched form.
“Look at me! I love you!”
Shoe-covered feet inched towards you, slowly. Almost… cautious.
“Wake up! Wake up, wake up!” Your whispers were harsh. Urgent. Desperate.
A comforting hand rubbed your shoulder. You flinched and wailed, frantically pinching the skin of your wrists.
“NO! No, no, fucking get up— “
“Shhh,” Her hand squeezed you, “It’s me.”
You’re going to fucking puke. Your eyes stayed shut while she cradled you, your head resting on her shoulder. She felt taller, stronger, but she smelled the same. You couldn’t move, but she hugged you so tight.
Ellie, Ellie, I love you, I’m sorry—
A kiss on your shoulder. Right over your scar.
“I love you more.”
You calmed in her presence as she rocked you on the floor. Your guilt almost made you push her away, but you’re selfish; You need this, for her to hug you.
It felt like she held you for years, right on your apartment floor. She didn’t let you go.
But when your eyes opened, eggshell white hospital walls surrounded you. Kept you trapped in the small hell that Ellie’s created.
You haven’t slept or eaten. You’ve barely showered.
Ellie was with you. Ellie’s with you. You felt her there; She held you! You’re not fucking crazy.
Three days have passed since you were carried out of your apartment by EMTs, according to the investigators that are still terrorizing your fucking home. They assumed you were having a seizure by how still you were. You were unresponsive for minutes, they’d said. Celeste was right. You didn’t have the courage to face her and apologize.
You haven’t left your motel room since you’ve arrived. You hate it in here — it looks like it’s eroding from the outside, the windows are scratched and tinted a murky yellow, the sheets feel like sandpaper, but it’s better than home. Better than being in public amidst your impending psychological breakdown.
Ellie’s here. She’s watching you and laughing at the wreck you’ve become.
You’re slipping; You can feel it. The way she hugged you… You could’ve melted into her for eternity when she said she loved you, never to be seen or heard from again, completely under her control. Not that anyone would care about your disappearance. A gutted huff left you.
Your past finally caught up to you. Tears flooded your eyes for the hundredth time tonight.
The faint shuffling coming from your bathroom didn’t even shock you. She’s here again.
Your eyes overflowed, and they shut in resignation; You’re going to die.
“E-Ellie?”
Silence.
Your eyes squeezed tighter. You have nothing left to fight for.
“Just do it! Just fucking do it!”
That’s all you’ve ever been: a quitter. More shuffling, then silence.
“FUCKING KILL ME! KI— KILL ME, ELLIE!”
You heaved and rose from the edge of your bed. You marched down the seemingly endless hallway, heart cracking in your chest.
“KILL ME! KILL ME, KILLME! —“
Weighted knocks pounded against your room door, shocking you into silence. She’s here, she’s here; She’s fucking with you.
A dark chuckle left you.
“You’re fucking sick,” You spat with a sniffle, “I hate your fucking guts, just like you hated me! You fucking hate me, right?”
You’re awake. And you’re angry.
You tramped towards the entrance and knocked back just as hard.
“FUCK YOU, BITCH! FUCKING — FUCK YOU, ELLIE, YOU FUCKI— “
Heat traveled across your face the second you ripped the door open.
A woman… a motel employee… with sheets in her hand, visibly stunned.
You’re going fucking crazy.
“Uhh… just came to give you new, uh, sheets,” Her voice was high-pitched, clearly uncomfortable. Your eyes flickered with embarrassment, cheeks blazing.
“S-Sorry…” You allowed the shorter woman entry, and she scurried over to the small nightstand in the corner of your room.
You picked at your fingers, “Um… sorry if I scared you. It’s been a weird… fuckin’ weird couple of weeks.”
She didn’t acknowledge you at all. Just silently laid the sheets and pillowcases on the side of your bed.
“Am I,” You huffed, anxiously rubbing your eyes. “Are you gonna report me or somethin’?”
Silence.
Your brows furrowed at the sudden stillness of the woman, her back turned towards you.
“Hey, you okay?” A cautious step forward. “Look, I’m… I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m fine— “
“Fuck you.”
You flinched at her venomous tone; voice filled with spite. The fuck?
“… What?”
“After all this time…” she whispered, the ponytail in the woman’s head shaking in disbelief.
“You’re still the same… selfish, psychotic fucking bitch I remember you to be.”
Your knees buckled at the sudden low timbre of her voice. Goosebumps ran up and down your arms at its familiarity. She sounded just like… She’s… It can’t be. It can’t be, it can’t be—
The one window you cracked for air earlier slammed shut, the clicks from your door signaling your confinement. You’re trapped.
Your nails sunk into your palms; She’s here. She’s real and she’s fucking here and going to kill you.
Her laugh filled the room, low and vengeful, and the one lit lamp on the nightstand flickered off.
Your breaths were shallow and desperate, sheer panic rushing through your body. You took blind, scurried steps towards the door, feeling around for the knob to take your leave, but it wouldn’t budge. You pounded on the wood from the inside, screaming for anyone to come save you.
Something cold and slimy slinked around your ankles and roughly yanked you to the floor, your hands scrambling to grab onto anything on the hardwood as they pulled you towards her. You caught glimpses of her glowing, red eyes with every panicked look over your shoulder.
You were pulled up, up, up by your feet until you were dangling upside down, her glowing orbs piercing through yours. You barely made out her manic smile, fangs bright and as sharp as knives. Something sharp pressed against your windpipe, ready to tear your throat out.
The room she trapped you in disappeared completely, an empty, dark void surrounding her, you. There’s nothing anywhere.
You hollered as your stomach flipped; She’s going to kill you right here—
“Ellie, please, please don’t! —“
A sharp slice right through your shoulder. You released a pained scream before your vision grew cloudy, body growing limp as you swayed in the air. Your screams quieted, your drowsy mind filling with images of Ellie smiling affectionately at you.
Ellie… Ellie, please…
Trees danced with the wind before everything went dark.
Water erupted from your mouth, your eyes ripping open, fingers tearing into the dirt beneath you.
You pushed yourself into a sitting position, more water dripping from your hair and clothes, down your bare legs. Pain shot through your shoulder with every move. You reached to touch it and… ouch. Blood coated your fingertips.
You gazed around. You knew exactly where you were, but it was off.
You and Ellie’s hideout. The campground is exactly how you remember, but it was darker, murkier, less inviting and cozy. Familiar, yet foreign.
“Miss me?”
You jolted, scurrying away from whatever was behind you.
“Aww, don’t be scared,” Ellie mocked, fake pout pulling at her lips. “C’mooon, it’s just me! Welcome to my humble abode!”
What the fuck, what the fuck—
The same appendage from earlier wrapped around your leg, yanking you back, and your heart sank. Your eyes were deceiving you; They had to be.
Ellie, much taller and stronger than you remember, stood over you, pupils pitch black, a devious smile spread across her face, sharp fangs glimmering in the dark. The two horns that swirled atop her head were dark, the protruding veins red and throbbing like they were alive. You saw the sharp edge of her tail glowing behind her head, speckles of red liquid crusting over on the tip.
Is… Did she cut you with that?
Your heart squeezed painfully with familiarity; The small spots that dusted her face and the scars that covered her legs from biking accidents were still there.
“E-Ellie?”
She posed, arms extended, “In the flesh. Kinda. There’s no… actual flesh for the dead… Well, we technically could have skin, but it wouldn’t be ours.”
“I’ve been lookin’ for you. You look good,” she muttered, eyes dark as they traveled over you. You suddenly felt exposed.
Silence passed between the two of you. How was her tone so casual?
What the fuck is going on…
She huffed at your silence, “Didn’t think our ten-year anniversary would be this fucking awkward. Can’t even say hi?”��
Her words were hardly registering.
“Huh.” Her eyes flashed back, and the organ around your leg untangled, retracting into the grass beneath you.
“You’ve… you’ve been looking for me?”
“Mhmm,” she hummed, carelessly playing with her razor-sharp nails. “You got outta jail, got a place… bought the bakery you always talked about. Congratulations, jailbird! You beat the system… and were able to outrun the devil for some time!”
She showcased the ashy, decaying scenery like it was a prize. “Here’s your first glimpse into the other side. Is it to your liking? Should I fluff your pending gravestone? Put some roses over it since everyone you love won’t?”
Other side? “… Am I dead?”
“Nope! Almost. You have a purpose before I take you out. Finally, am I right?” Sarcasm sharpened her tongue.
“… You're insane,” your voice was hoarse, shattered. You swore your esophagus was bloody.
“Me?!” She snickered sickly, eyes darkening, “Remind me what happened between us again? Who hurt who? Who killed who?!”
“… I— “
You paused. What the fuck do you say to her? I still love you somehow. Please don’t hate me forever. I’m a worthless fuck up—
“None of the above,” she interrupted… your thoughts? “To be frank, I don’t wanna hear shit from you,” she swayed sassily, circling you like a shark, her tail sashaying around.
“… Why’m I here then?”
She paused, the muscles in her back flexing. Your gut tumbled.
Ellie turned to face you, lips curling devilishly.
“Well… ” she trailed off, voice alluring. “It gets lonely down here. I don’t have anybody to call. Nights are so cold.”
She suddenly dropped to her knees, sensuality practically leaking out of her as she crawled towards you. Your heart was thumping, stomach in knots.
“I need you… to do exactly what I tell you…”
Your breaths shuddered the closer she got.
“I’m so fuckin’ hungry… Just sit there and let me take what I want,” Her mumbles were drunk and lustful. “You fucking owe me. I’m trapped here ‘cause of you.”
She straddled your lap, eyes glued to yours. They flashed red, and an appendage locked around your throat, knocking the wind from your lungs and pulling you flat onto the dirt. You tried to pull against it, but it tightened on your airways. You choked, pain searing in your shoulder, causing you to let up. Another set of slimy appendages clasped around your wrists, followed swiftly by two locking down your ankles.
The burn from your bleeding shoulder made your nipples harden under your filthy sweatshirt. She chuckled above you.
“That was quick,” Her brow arched. “Haven’t gotten any? What, no one wants to drill a felon?” She cooed with a pout.
You shot her a glare. A squeeze on your throat. A clench from your walls.
“Oh!” She exclaimed in remembrance. “Sorry about that club fiasco. I was gonna fuck you then, but seeing you enjoying yourself got on my nerves, so.”
She rambled on about how she made a whole plan to ruin your life the second she found you until you were rotting in the grave, but you weren’t listening. Your eyes moved over her lips, down her neck, over her bare chest, blood burning under your skin. Another squeeze from your cunt. Your face burned with every drop of slick that left you.
“Think I’m cute? The horns doing it for ya?” she interrupted your gawking.
You averted your gaze. She snorted before her expression went lubricious, eyes glossing over.
“You smell so good,” she slurred with fluttery lids.
No, you don’t. You haven’t showered—
“I meant your pussy, you fucking idiot,” her eyes rolled in annoyance. “You’re killin’ my vibe. Shut up.”
Your eyes widened in shock; Don’t think, don’t think—
“She smelled like that in the club. Just needed some lovin’, hm?” Her hand reached back to pat your pussy over your pajama shorts and you squealed. You’re leaking.
“Oh, she’s starving— “
Fear and arousal flurried in your tummy, “What’re you gonna do?”
You could almost see the wires in her head sparking to life. She leaned over you, her cold body pressed against yours, noses almost touching.
“I’m gonna rip that pussy open until I feel better…” The aura around her was smokey and blinding. “And then…” Her nose bumped against yours, almost affectionately. “I’m gonna rip that fucking throat out. Might hang your body from a tree. I needa decorate.”
A choked sob left you, thighs rubbing together as tears plummeted down your temples. Ellie shushed you gently, her forked tongue licking over the droplets before they cascaded down into the grass.
Every swipe of her tongue sent a zap through your face. The sting sent your jolt through your spine, hips bucking into her. A hot, slick line ran up your cheek, grazing your jawline, cat-like spines digging into your clammy skin.
… Is… Is she really…?
You couldn’t stop the shudder that ran up your body, your foot jerking outward at the sensation. The tentacle clenched around your ankles, and you gasped. Ellie was grinding on top of you, whimpering into your neck, marking your skin.
“E-Ellie, El— “
Another swipe, a thick, sticky trail burning its way into your hairline. Your whines are almost inaudible. Pain is burning up your legs when the organ twisted tighter; You’re shocked your ankle didn’t snap in two.
She moved faster on top of you, pleasantly sighing into your neck. Your face is fucking sizzling.
“What the… fuck,” The situation is settling in for you: Ellie’s dead… but, not? And she’s humping you like a dog. You shouldn’t want to watch her, observe the love of your life get off on your fucking stomach, but you — your pussy wants it — needs her.
You missed her so fucking much.
Soft chuckles erupted from her, icy breath on your neck. She sat up, rubbing her bare cunt on your tummy.
“You wanna watch?”
No, no no please—
Your head shook, mind racing with pleads for her to touch you, but she stared back in disapproval.
“I think you wanna watch,” She sat up, lifting her knees and resting her freezing hands on your thighs, her pretty pussy on full display, “Missed me that bad?”
She’s right there, but you can’t move. More tears, more begging from you.
“Wanna see a trick I learned?” She inquired mischievously. You didn’t have a chance to answer before more vine-like organs emerged from the dirt, eager and throbbing, globs of slick dribbling from their tips.
“When you’re sad and horny, answers will eventually fall in your lap,” She watched the appendages sliver all over her shoulders, her back, down her stomach. Her head flew back, her short flyways waving around her horns.
“I bet that fucked up head of yours never expected this would happen, huh? Never thought you’d see me like this?” She moaned out as the suctioned limb traveled over her left nipples, her eyes beaming red, scorching through your chest.
Your walls squeezed down on nothing, desperate groans leaving your throat, underwear clinging to your cunt. You couldn’t close your legs, the members slinked around coming up to suck on your thighs.
Nasty little cuck, her voice boomed through your skull, Wanna watch me get fucked, right?
Your head bobbed dumbly. The appendages scurried down her body. You watched as the veins in her horns glowed brighter, her eyes shading an even deeper scarlet, her lip catching between her teeth when the suctions came in contact with her clit.
The slippery members attacked your thighs with strong suctions, the sensitive skin littered with blotchy, dark spots. A wet slither made its way up your body, under your sweatshirt and in between your tits. The tip teased both nipples, your back arching deeper for more friction. The air was muggy and your body was disgustingly sticky; The sensations made your clit jerk.
You blearily stared up at Ellie, nearly cumming at the sight of her with a thick, throbbing appendage fucking into her pussy, another two attacking her nipples. Her walls were stretched around the dark, pulsing tentacle, her juices filling the open air with sopping squelches.
Her eyes fluttered open and refocused on you, a dark line of drool dripping from her mouth and landing on your exposed torso. You released a pained shout, your skin burning at the contact. Tension built tight in your core, clit throbbing in your underwear. You’re struggling to breathe, head floating further into the clouds with each whimper from Ellie. She giggled hazily, moans sounding between her condescending snickers. She gathered spit in her mouth and allowed it dribble onto one of your breasts.
S’hitting it s’good! Fuck, I can’t—
Finally, finally, the tentacles choking your legs unraveled and crawled up, closer to your drenched cunt. Just one touch — you need one touch and you’ll cum. Just one, just one, please, please—
Slut needs t’cum? Beg some fuckin’ more, c’mon, Ellie’s moans and shouts in your head were somehow bringing you closer to that peak you desperately craved.
“Please, El, please, fuck… me— “
“I’m — oh, fuck, yes— “
Your shorts and underwear were being ripped from around your waist, yanking you in all directions. The friction made your walls constrict tight. The harsh suctions on your clit were instantaneous. Finally, finally, finally—
You and Ellie’s moans melted together, colors floating behind your eyelids. The wet sounds from Ellie’s pussy made your peak build in record time, zoning in on her cries. You’re going to cum so hard. It’s almost there, just a little bit more—
Ellie’s everywhere. In your head, line of blurry vision, on top of you, about to break and shatter. She's so perfect, shrouded in darkness and gloom and desire.
The tentacle suddenly expanded inside her pussy, stretching it wider, massaging all the spots that made her see white.
“M’gonna fucking cum, s’gonna make me cum— “
You’re so close, you’re close, you’re close. You wordlessly begged her to cum with you. Her knees trembled while her legs begged to close, but she forced them open. Forced herself to take everything, all of it. The tentacle pulsed sporadically inside her, and she crashed.
Pleasure was snatched away from you in an instant, the suckles on your clit gone. You cried and sobbed for Ellie to make you cum, but she ignored you, her body wracking in pleasure, heavy globs of black slick dribbling from her cunt, right under your tits.
She rode it out, bouncing on the large appendage before it shrunk to its original size. It jerked inside her a few more times before leaving her completely, more dark, gooey liquid dripping from her pussy.
She came down slowly, giddy laughs leaving her swollen lips as her walls rippled from the aftershocks.
“This is gonna be…” she scooped up some of the substance with her razor-like nails before shoving them into your mouth.
The peculiar twang coated your tastebuds. She continued.
“So much fun.”
You never thought you’d have the chance to kiss Ellie again.
But you are, and you’re so fucking nervous.
When you kissed her for the first time, you were confident, impulsive, reckless. Your regret didn’t come until after, but now here you two were, her split tongue messily sliding over yours, your tongue sizzling from the venom coating her mouth. Ellie’s mess seeped into your skin with each jerk of her hips. You’d give anything to touch her.
Your eyes squeezed shut every time she suckled on your lips, licked up your chin, squeezed her hand over your throat. She’s much more secure this time around; It’s almost enough to get you there.
Almost.
You were suddenly yanked back by your hair, head thudding the ground. Ellie seemed deep in thought, eyes distant.
“You’re a bad kisser.”
Your lip quivered. Ouch, “S… Sorry…”
“Ellie?” Your throat burned.
“Yes, dear?”
Her tone made you flinch. Everything you wanted to say left your brain in a cloud of smoke.
“Am… Am I…?”
“Are youuu…?” She trailed off. Her hand disappeared, lower, before a loud, sticky noise blaring in your head. She sighed happily; Ellie’s touching herself. Right in front of your face.
Your face is on fire and your shoulders are cramping up.
“Will… Can I, can I cum?”
“I don’t know… can you?” She shrugged with a smile.
Your eyes nearly rolled in annoyance; they would’ve if you weren’t so desperate to be fucked senseless.
She sat up fully, her wet hand reaching right in between your legs. They nearly clamped shut on her wrist, but more tentacles appeared to hold them open for her. She wasn’t looking at your pussy, but she knew exactly where to touch you. She rubbed her own juices into your clit, a nasty shhlck filling the calm air.
Tears built in your eyes at the sensitivity, your toes digging into the dirt beneath you. Her thoughtless mumbles were barely registering in your melting brain. Your impending orgasm nearly crashed into you before she stopped.
Your body tensed and your pleasure dissipated. Sobs left your mouth as you garbled, “E—llie, please, please, no more— “
“Don’t close your legs, I mean it. Take what I give you like a good bitch,” Ellie shimmied down your body, resting in between your legs. The tentacles hooked under your knees and forced them up, holding them right against your chest. You can’t see what Ellie’s doing and she’s silent.
You wanted to ask what was taking so fucking long—
A loud crack rang through the heavily wooded area, pain searing through your thigh. The stinging sensation brought tears to your eyes, sobbing softly to yourself.
The sudden flicking against your clit brought tears to your eyes. She’s touching you, finally. Your arms pulled at the veiny tentacles still clamped around your wrist, aches running down to your shoulders at the stiffness.
Ellie’s fingers were replaced with something much softer, and your body turned to mush. The appendages around your thighs twisted tighter, gripped harder, as the barbs from her tongue caught on your clit. It felt so fucking good; her split muscle moved so quick on your clit; your yelps of her name sound into the crisp air. You’ve been on the verge of cumming this entire time, but you can’t.
Suddenly, her tongue is easing downward, brushing against your perineum. Your hips tried to push down into her muscle, but to no avail. You could feel numbness building in your feet from the restriction.
Look at this tight little ass, two of her fingers were massaging your other hole, causing you to whimper.
Yeah? she pressed down harder, Like it right there?
Your head gravely bobbed in approval; you’ve never been touched there, but you crave it now.
Tiny fucking hole… gotta get you ready, huh?
Her voice is thick and haughty; you’re shivering.
A glob of spit lands on your ass, the sensitive skin tingling, numbness spreading across the pulsing area. She rubbed it in quickly and gave your hole one last slap.
Her tongue was back at your cunt; you squealed at the sensation of her tongue slivering past your entrance, walls stretching over her muscle. The soft splinters massaged your walls just right, caressing all the spots inside you and you felt it building —
Suddenly, her tongue stretched wider, expanded, pressed down on your walls, right on your spot; you were squirting on her tongue seconds later. You couldn’t warn her of your orgasm before you bursted, walls desperately milking her as satisfied shouts escaped your lips, your brain turning to goo.
“El — mmh! Fuck, yes, rightthere! —“
Sniveled thank yous were pouring from your lips as Ellie fucked into you, your juices coating her face. Bursts of color exploded behind your eyelids.
You thought you would never come down, but the intensity of your orgasm slowed, eyes slowly blinking open. Your vision was spotty; Ellie slowly pulled out, humming at the squeals that left you. You couldn’t move.
Suddenly all the tentacles were gone, limbs free and weightlessly plopping onto the ground. Your eyelids fell shut in exhaustion, your heart flooding with longing.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” A light kick on your shoulder.
Ellie…
“Get the fuck up. I’m not done,” she snorted coldly.
Ellie… please…
“What the fuck did I say,” The agitation in her tone rose.
I’m so sorry…
“I don’t care,” You were suddenly pushed onto your back, Ellie standing over you, eyes glowing dimly.
I miss you so much…
Memories of your past flowed through you, soft sobs shaking your weak form. Ellie deserved… everything good out of life. The purest forms of happiness were destined in her path, and you took it away. You took everything from her, and all you could do was watch what she’s become. What you caused.
The more you cried, the more disgusted she seemed, eyes growing darker.
She pounced on you in seconds, nails grasping your bunched sweatshirt and sharp tail tip prepped to end you right then and there, speckles of spit splattering on your face due to her shouts.
“DON'T!” The dying world around you shook with the bass of her tone. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
You didn’t fight. You allowed her to berate you, call you every vile name in the book, and digested her wishes of you dying instead of her. Every scream slammed into your chest; you merely laid there, ready to die with love in your chest.
I love you… I love you… I love you…
“FUCK YOU, YOU LYING BITCH! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING DID THIS TO ME! I’M GONNA KILL YOU— “
Bloody streams fall from Ellie’s eyes, the veins in her head changing from maroon to coal, the veins in her arms darkening as her voice deepened, razorous teeth baring. She sobbed and screamed from above you, wailing how much she hated you. You’re numb.
The venom from her tail was discharging from the tip. It’s time; it’s your last day alive. You nodded to yourself. You deserve this; You’re ready. You hope your siblings aren’t too saddened by your disappearance.
Is this the final stage of grief? Your body is lax and accepting, heavy droplets leaving your eyes when they shut.
I love you… I’m sorry… I love you…
Another sharp prick went through your shoulder, and darkness enclosed around you.
JUNIOR YEAR: 2012
You’re such a dork!
Ellie swears her heart is going to grow legs and crawl up her throat in the next thirty seconds if you keep staring at her like that. She's projecting; She’s the dork!
The few shots she took at the lake were wearing off, and her nerves were finally catching up to her. She was surrounded by your pillows, your stuffies, your scent; she could barely swallow, her throat was so dry.
You love me.
She does. Ellie never acted on her swiftly developed crush; she’s not built for rejection, especially from you. The smile on your face was so bright; your joy was so apparent whenever she was around. She hoped her own happiness reflected the same way; Please love me back! Please please please—
Her heart exploded, sewed itself back together, only to explode again when your hand came up, fingertips barely grazing her cheek. She’s going to faint; your touch was so soft. Was she crazy to compare the feel of your hands to rose petals? She tried to keep her nuzzles subtle, pushing her face closer to your hand; Is this how cats feel when they want cuddles?
You proceeded to explore her face in silent adoration, and she did the same, memorizing every detail she could. The moles on your face were lined like stars.
She scooted closer to give you more access to her now burning skin, and you kissed her. Ellie was stunned, body stiff; she didn’t have a chance to kiss you back before you pulled away. The scent of alcohol was pouring from you, and Ellie snapped back to reality.
You’re drunk. You kissed her and you’re drunk.
You’re probably not going to remember the entire night when you wake the next morning. Ellie’s eyes nervously searched your now downcast face. Say something, you coward!
But you spoke first.
You love me, right?
More than anything, Ellie wanted to scream, not caring if your parents woke up and kicked her out. But she couldn’t. Her brain was moving a million miles a minute, trying to find the words that would satisfy her feelings, but they were too strong. She’s in too deep; Words aren’t enough.
But you look broken and your body’s tense. She’s putting you on edge and she hates herself for it.
Do you love me? Your begging tone snapped her out of her head.
Of course I do, she gasped, mouth gaping like a fish.
More than anything! More than anything! I love you!
You only nodded, relaxed back into her, and shut your eyes.
Ellie went to sleep with a terrible feeling in her stomach, but she held you anyway.
Ellie’s weight crushed you as she sobbed into your neck, her cries loud and guttural, the sharp puncture of her horn pressing into the plush of your cheek. Her curses grew weak and quiet, mumbles of I fucking hate you cementing into your skin.
You simply laid beneath her, unmoving and stunned wordless at the memory — the truth that Ellie exposed to you. Her body jerked on yours as she wailed.
You hardly noticed the fresh tears rolling down your face. You sniffed, “Ellie…”
She sobbed, her head shaking dismissively.
“Ellie… Look at me…” You couldn’t move.
“Fuck you,” her choked murmur was hushed.
A sad smile grew on your face.
“Almost did…”
Ellie sniffed harshly against the burnt skin on your neck, almost touching your bloody shoulder, “What.” She mumbled flatly.
“Y’know… you almost did fuck me.”
Some silence passed before a wet snort came from below you. Your grin widened.
Ellie’s shoulders shook slightly as she snickered into your neck, arching hers slightly to look at you.
“I should kill you for that, you cunt. You’re not funny.”
Your body jerked with laughter, and you grimaced at the pain in your shoulder. “That's what you get.” Ellie sat up straight, smile slowly dissipating, eyes glossing over.
The light moment between you shifted, and sorrow weighed you down like bricks.
“I fucking loved you,” Ellie whispered harshly. “I wanted you to be happy. And you didn’t fucking care.” Anger was radiating off her, but the dread in her eyes was more telling. “You were… everything to me.”
The wounds in your heart were overflowing; your efforts of repairing your heart were proved pointless, blood and love and suffering filling your chest to the brim. Quiet sobs were shared between the two of you.
“Please k-kiss me,” Ellie’s eyes squeezed shut at your hushed proposal.
“Just one more. You can do whatever you want… just one last time.”
You sat up slowly, ignoring the deep aches in your side, your trembling hands cautiously raising to cup Ellie’s frosty cheeks.
Her face is so close; her lips are right there… just one more, just one—
Ellie’s eyes traveled across your face, lust and years of longing flooding in her tears. Her eyes shut and she leaned forward, her cold lips melding against yours. The kiss was gentle, your eyes squeezing shut as you cried, your tears transferring onto her cheeks.
Ellie’s hushed tone filled your head.
I wish I hated you.
You choked a sob, arms wrapping around her hips to pull her closer, her arms enclosing around your neck, the kiss growing hotter. You needed her closer; so much closer.
Her tongue slid past your mouth, the split muscle messily flicking over yours as her hips bucked down. You heard loud tears of cloth coming from behind you as Ellie shredded your sweatshirt with her claws, discarding the fabric on the dark heaps of grass.
She sighed into your mouth when you laid her back onto the grass soaking, crawling on top of her. Her legs wrapped around your waist, pulling you down to reconnect your mouths, her fangs cutting into your bottom lip. She sucked the injured skin, humming at the metallic taste; your hips bucked down harder to meet hers, and she whimpered.
Her hands were freezing as they slid down your bare sides, claws pressing into your hips. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat as you kissed down her neck, soft noises of satisfaction erupting from beneath you. You suckled on her throat, tongue sliding down to her jaw and back up again.
“Can I, fuck, let me do something— “
You moaned in approval, thighs shaking at the sound of her voice, coming back up to press your mouth against hers.
A heavy gasp left you at the feel of slime dripping onto your thigh. Ellie dug her nails into your hips to steady you, and you whined at the sting. You stared down, entranced at her gleaming eyes, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“Hold still.” Ellie’s whisper was strangely comforting, your body relaxing into hers. The light suck on your thigh made you squeak, chuckles releasing from the girl beneath you.
“And you’ve been doing this for how long?” you jokingly snarked, voice shaky.
“Meh, six years, nothing crazy,” she replied, shrugging sarcastically. “Just don’t move.”
Ellie’s hand moved lower, pressing at the end of your spine to deepen the arch in your back. She shushed your eager whimpers, slowly easing your hips back until your cunt brushed against the serpent-like organ. You shuddered and attempted to jerk away at the strange sensation, but Ellie held you still, snorting to herself.
A sharp gasp escaped your lips at the feel of its tip swirling at your clit, your head dropping onto Ellie’s shoulder. It took mere seconds for the suction to attack your sensitive clit, pleasured moans huffing from your mouth. Ellie’s mouth was right by your ear, her chilled breaths sending shockwaves down your spine. Your clit throbbed under the pressure: how were you already on the verge of cumming?
“Feels g-good? Yeah?”
Your walls were squeezing down harshly, desperate to hug and milk something hot through your orgasm. It takes all your strength to lift your head and kiss Ellie, but she does all the work; licking into your mouth, sucking on your tongue, bruising your lips with every slice of her fang. Every pass of her tongue is a pull in your gut, your clit pulsating with vigor.
She pulled back, just barely, to whisper how excited she is to fuck you, to turn your pussy out, to make you cry. Your moans were loud and eager, your head bobbing dumbly in compliance with anything she wanted. You’d give her everything you could in this moment.
Ellie’s in your head, in your senses, in between your thighs, and you’re losing it. She’s reaching at you, tugging at your body in any way she could: scratching at your tits, pulling your hair, clawing into your skin with intent to scar. You’re sure your back is bloody. Her touch is painful; why does it feel so good?
Your thoughtless head drops yet again as your orgasm is forced out of you, your walls choking the hot air surrounding the two of you. Your wails are muffled along with Ellie’s spat praises, your hips bucking back for more. The pleasure is almost too much and you’ve barely started; She hasn’t even fucked you yet.
Your juices are pooling out of you, knowingly making a puddle on Ellie’s tummy, her affirmed moans pulling more and more out of you. Your peak is unrelenting, draining every last bit of energy your body has left. Your limbs gave out, your weight crashing on top of Ellie’s.
She hastily maneuvered you onto your back, the spines of grass puncturing your skin from beneath you as she climbed on top.
“Your stamina’s fucked.”
Her winded snide remarks didn’t bother you; you need her to fuck you. You’re sweaty and desperate to feel her everywhere. She wasted no time, reuniting your mouths in an eager kiss as her hands ventured anywhere they could. Your body’s aching, but for some reason, you crave more. More hurt, more pain; You need her to use you.
The world around you moved like water; unlike your first dream, the waves brought comfort. Ellie’s touch felt like the ocean washing you away, all with effort to finally bring you peace.
But it didn’t work. You love her; You deserve pain, and you love her.
Her mouth is on your tits, biting and sucking at your nipples. It feels so good to have her this close; your body’s wet and ready for her to ravish you.
Ellie scurried down your body, sat on her knees in between your legs, her hands pressed under yours to hold them up. Your thighs are resting on your chest as Ellie dribbles a line of slobber over your soaking lips. Hums fill the space between you as it slides down, right over your entrance.
Seconds pass as Ellie stares at your cunt; You call out to her by mistake.
“What.”
Fuck. “No-nothing. Sorry.”
“You want something. Say it.”
You shake your head, and she smiles. Raunchy imagery of her fucking your pussy flash across your mind in an instant, and her grin widens.
You jolt at the sudden slap on your cunt before Ellie presses your legs even higher, knees almost next to your head. You ignore the aching stretch in your limbs and reach to grab your ass cheeks, holding them open for her. Heat spreads across your face when she moans at the sight.
Oh fuck, Ellie’s whimpering to herself; whining about how good your pussy’s going to feel, how you’re going to swallow her whole, choke her out. Juices are oozing from your cunt with each jerk of your walls.
A tentacle emerges from the ground, and Ellie’s expression darkens. It’s lecherous; the way she eyes your pussy as the organ slivers closer to your entrance. You couldn’t hold your moans in anticipation of the stretch. It’s right there, swelling and twitching.
Your head falls back against the sopping grass when your hole grasps the wide, leaking tip, eyes rolling into your head as Ellie’s moans ring deep in your skull. The tentacle is practically melting between your walls as they spasm.
Ellie’s so loud above you, completely hunched over your form as her body shudders, her lip trapped between her sharp teeth. They must’ve pierced the skin, a thin trail of black liquid dripping all the way down her neck.
You take it so fuckin’ good, Ellie’s slurring, tongue swelled in her mouth. You’re already peaking, your legs attempting to slam shut at the tight hug of your walls. The organ is suddenly swelling, walls stretching around the girth to trap it as deep as it can go. Tears are running down your face, groans of Ellie’s name melding with your harsh breaths.
Seconds pass, and the tentacle’s shooting inside, and your head goes blank, your orgasm slamming into you. You're silent as it wrings your body. The intensity is almost painful, like it’s being forced from your body and your cunt’s drained dry: it’s hot inside you where the fluid pools, and your walls are sucking it deeper.
You didn’t register Ellie falling forward, her body convulsing on yours, screams of how good your cunt is leaving her in a flurry. Her words are gritted and deep and her nails are in your bicep, but the pain only makes you cum harder.
It’s been minutes, and you’re deadweight, walls twitching around the still jerking organ planted deep inside your guts. No time to recover, though; Ellie’s pulling out, a nasty sound echoing at her departure as cum seeps — drenches the grass under you. It’s never-ending and sticky and you need more.
Ellie’s already up and moving you onto your stomach, your cheek pressed against the dirt. She’s hasty, spitting on your cunt with a fiery just a dumb slut, huh? You nod, squeezing your walls to push more cum out. There are heavy suctions on your back, forcing blood to the surface at the curve of your spine. Followed by a sharp stabbing on your ass cheek.
Ellie’s mouth is on your supple skin, and the blood in your ass rushes to the surface. Her fangs are locked into you as she empties the veins in your ass.
You couldn’t even scream, eyes squeezing shut at the searing pain as your walls release more cum. Ellie hums: another bite. More blood’s leaving you, being sucked from your ass, your thighs, the end of your spine, but it’s not enough. You need more. Ellie’s draining you but it’s not nearly enough.
Another tentacle presses in once more, and your vision’s blurring; there’s another tentacle sucking at your ass, your eyes crossing at the stimulation of both your holes. Ellie’s nails are breaking the skin of your back, dribbles of blood sliding down your sides and into the dirt. You love her and you love it; everything feels so warm and full and good.
Ellie’s chides are making you wetter; your thighs won’t stop shaking, she sounds so sexy. Every shockwave in your brain is memorizing every word, every syllable. She's babbling about how she might spare, keep you trapped here forever so she can drain your blood through your pussy, suck you dry, and it gets you there again.
Ellie — m’cu—cumming!
You don’t know what you’re saying; voice muffled against the dirt, tears and snot running down your face while you squeal like a pig. Ellie’s calling you one as you squirt on her, just a dumb, worthless pocketpussy; The smile on your face is stupid as your walls drain her while she throbs inside you. You’re so stuffed with her cum already, but you need more inside you. You feel so fucking good and the pleasure won’t seize.
It picks up again as the thrusts get faster, hitting you deeper, just where you need it. You don’t get to recover before you’re slung into another mind-numbing orgasm, your body wracking without rest. Ellie’s massaging every spot that makes your spine break, dirt collecting under your nails as they puncture the ground. Your groans are cracking in your throat; You can’t even swallow.
The tentacle’s swelling again, and Ellie’s hand is on the back of your head, pressing your cheek against the grass, nails scratching at your scalp as you beg for her cum. Her moans are picking up again, demanding that you beg some more, that you fucking cry for it, be a good girl a bleed for me. And you do.
As messily as you can; slobber pooling at your mouth as you sob and choke for her cum, eyes crossed in your skull as your tongue lolls, and Ellie’s shooting in you again, stuffing you to the brim as she cries your name from behind, grunts leaving her with each rope of cum seeps in your womb.
Your pussy’s melting around her when the sucking at your ass pauses, only to push in the incredibly tight space, to stretch your virgin hole open around its girth. It should hurt, having both holes filled to such a wild degree, but it doesn’t. Your weak arm is reaching behind, desperately grabbing at Ellie. You expect her to smack you away, to hit you, to slice your hand clean off your wrist, but she doesn’t; You almost miss the light touch, her pinky lacing with yours.
You’re joyous, head dropping as you sob from pleasure and happiness, heart filled with a love that you never thought you’d feel again.
She’s drilling your ass, fucking you so hard and good as she holds your smallest finger with hers, kissing down your bloody back, licking up the scarlet that leaks from your skin. Suddenly, another tentacle — much smaller than the ones tearing your holes up — emerges from the ground, right in front of your face, its juices leaking onto your cheeks.
It wiggles in front of your open mouth before shoving in; the taste is salty and metallic, but your lips work it, sucking and licking all around the length. You feel so filthy and it’s making your tummy tug, another orgasm building in your pussy and ass. It’s going to shatter you completely from its strength, you can feel it.
Your body’s aching for more cum; you’re surprised it’s not coming spilling from your throat and onto the appendage in your mouth. But Ellie’s close, every whisper becoming more frantic as she rides that edge.
You’re mine, she whispers in your ear, Fucking mine, you understand? You’re not going anywhere.
You get it, you get it! You’re never leaving her again. Fuck everything you’ve built for yourself! Your life is pointless without Ellie next to you. You’re going to cum so hard for her.
Your body’s hers; Your heart is hers; your soul is hers. You love her, you love her!
Baby likes that? I own this fucking pussy?
She knows she does: whispers so gross and conniving and you’re twitching under her. You’re babbling around the swelling appendage, telling her — screaming that you belong to her, you always have. You always will!
You feel her teeth as she grins madly in satisfaction, sloppily mumbling mine mine s’ my pussy against your skin as she swells inside you. You’re stretching, gaping around her and you snap, head planting into the dirt. Both sets of walls clamp down sporadically around the large digits between them, the tentacle slipping from your mouth as you scream.
Ellie’s exploding inside both holes, the tentacle above you spraying all over your face, heavy globs of cum landing in your hair, the back of your neck, splattering on your mouth, anywhere it could reach. Juices are spraying from between you, and Ellie falls forward, her freezing chest on your back as she jerks on top of you. Hearing her just as destroyed from the pleasure sends another surge of euphoria through you, somehow stronger than the first.
You can barely take it, but Ellie makes you, continues flooding your holes until they’re overflowing and sticky. You’re both sent to another plane as you convulse together, her pinky still locked with yours as you lose consciousness.
When you wake, there’s warmth.
You’re still filled to the brim with cum, but your form is blanketed. Small, tired huffs hit your back as Ellie shivers on top of you, barely audible noises alerting her satisfaction. You smile.
You can't move; all your strength is used to wiggle the cramped muscle of your interlocked finger. Tears well in your eyes when Ellie’s finger hugs yours tighter with every small movement.
Ellie’s the blanket; Ellie’s warm.
Suddenly, everything around you is pink, the formerly empty spaces in your heart filled with affection. You missed Ellie so much; You’re finally reunited, and in love. You can’t stop smiling, and neither can she.
—
—
—
‘BREAKING NEWS: BAKERY OWNER FOUND DECAPITATED IN MOTEL BED’
Today marks one of the most heart-wrenching, horrifying days that our community has ever seen, the local reporter stated. We have never witnessed a case end this disastrous.
To the loved ones of this individual, we share our deepest condolences. The victim made such a large impact on our tiny town with her small business. Nobody… the reporter sighed, Nobody could’ve seen this coming.
Please be on the lookout for any updates regarding the suspect. Investigators are putting as much effort into this case as they can. Police suggest staying indoors with your loved ones this holiday until further instructions.
May God be with her family. Have a blessed night.
idk how to use picsart sorry yall LOL
taggiesss ily thank u 4 being patient :D :
@digit4lslut @hrtmal @sawaagyapong @starologist @shurisbigtoe @iamtootiredtopost @elliew-illiamsmissingfingers @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @slutty4abby @chrry1ovr @moonchild184 @womenofarcane @ohlawdthebirds @ellabsprincess @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @dropsofs4turn @masclover111 @dyk3ang3l @zzzlove @jayy2inlovee @aandersonsbackpack @jade-posts-sometimes @elspeanut @elsbunny222 @alittlextrahoney @ultraviolenceellie @shamelessparty @0verthebluemoon @yuckyfucky
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams angst#ellie williams au#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#the last of us 2#kinktober#lesbian#demon!ellie#works 𖧧࣪
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A Knight second chance 8.5
Velvet: *smirking* So? How did it go?
Russel: *smiling* Oh she loved the idea! I didn't know there was an insectarium in Vale! She really liked the exhibition on the Hymenoptera order. Did you know that bees, wasps and ants are all closely related? Oh and- *Picking up a bag of fried cricket* -they even sell food made of insects! It tastes like chips!
Velvet: *giggling* Well, i'm happy you both seemed to like the place. I went there with my team. *Grinning* My leader was terrified!
___________________________________________
Cinder: ... Excuse me what?
Mercury: *shrug* Roman bailed on us. Said something about not wanting to work with a "Bitch of a Grimm witch". No idea what he meant by that though.
Cinder: *blinking* How did he- What the- But we aren't even at half the dust we need! And he just left!?
Mercury: Well, he did say he wouldn't help with Beacon destruction since that wasn't the original plan. He thought we were going to sell the stuff to the black market. That, he doesn't care for.
Cinder: *groan, thinking about all the logistical problems that are now presenting themselves* Guess we'll have to BUY the explosive then. We won't be able to destroy the Amity colosseum, but that was just a secondary objective.
___________________________________________
Ruby: And so i said "Now that's a katana" And-
Jaune: *looking inside RWBY dorms* Oh? Blake, you still haven't removed your false bow?
Blake: *surprised* W-what!?
Jaune: *frown* Wait, you still haven't done that discussion? Oh and by the way, you do know your parents are expected to come to the tournament, right?
Blake: *panicking* H-how did you-
Jaune: Belladonna. Really, how did no one connect the dots? *Looking at Weiss* Especially you! They are the leader of Menagerie for heaven's sake!
Weiss: *realisation striking her* Oh my god, you are Kali and Ghira's daughter.
Blake: JAUNE!?!
Jaune: Oh and by the way, you are a literal breathing stereotype. And your bow twitches every time you are reading smut. *Smile* Anyway, good luck! *Close the door*
Yang: ... So does that mean i should call you a princess or?
Weiss: *reconsidering everything she knows* H-how did i not see it? They literally MADE the White Fang! Then again, they are pacifists...
Blake: *angry* JAUNE, YOU SON OF A BI-
___________________________________________
Penny: *tilting her head* Why did you do that, friend Jaune?
Jaune: *shrug* Eh, she needs to be pushed out of her comfort zone. Anyway, it's still a lot better than what should have happened. At least she didn't scream at her team that she was a terrorist.
Penny: Oh yeah, she did do that, uh? The memories are a bit vague on that part.
Jaune: I wasn't there. So i didn't have much more to share.
#jaune arc#penny polendina#russel thrush#velvet scarlatina#cinder fall#mercury black#blake belladonna#weiss schnee#rwby#rwby au#a knight second chance#ruby rose#yang xiao long
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⚡️Solar return chart 2022⚡️
Hello I’m am back with SR Chart observation as I promised from 2022, these are just personal observations and experiences if you haven’t experienced any sorts of things that’s complete fine. These are not facts neither predictions so don’t panic and think that the same situation will manifest for you. Alright ??? 😉
yeah let’s just get into it ! 🫶🏽
⚡️Cancer Rising:
This placement literally made me emotionally expressive and MOODY more than ever. From the start of that year i stayed at home for literally 3- 4 months after I dropped out of school. I very much enjoyed being at home with my family, cooking, cleaning doing domestic stuff . It was very interesting how the people in my environment started being very supportive and protective over my well-being like those of a little child. I definitely expressed my emotions openly : like randomly crying , huge outburst of laughter , or simply smiling a lot. I felt more caring and nurturing towards others . Thought about moving out surfaced a lot. Cancer is a very comforting energy but since it’s ruled by the moon there a lot of drastic unstable changes that could occur in once live.
⚡️Moon , North Node in the 12th house:
This placement brought a profound sense of isolation and introspection. I found myself naturally drawn to solitude, spending hours meditating, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying peaceful moments in nature. It felt like a spiritual awakening—connecting deeply with my intuition and exploring dreams that often felt like messages from a higher source. Meditation and Manifestation became a daily practice. While these moments of stillness were empowering, they also highlighted an inner restlessness and a desire to understand my true purpose. This phase was about healing, embracing the unknown, and surrendering to the flow of life.
⚡️Sun, Neptune, Jupiter in the 10th house:
Career and life path became the central focus during this time. I found myself dreaming bigger, envisioning a life where my efforts and aspirations aligned perfectly. I applied to different companies and got a new good job, I was in my hustling and bag area it was pretty good and productive year. I started thinking about the impact I wanted to have in the world like how I wanted to be perceived and what achievements I wanted to be known for. It was all about refining my goals, building a stronger work ethic, and setting the stage for future success.
⚡️SR Rising in natal 3rd house:
Communication became a major theme since I had went to a lot of interviews, had to reintroduce myself to different people which pushed me out of my comfort zone. Also writing job applications, or reconnecting with siblings, it felt like the universe was nudging me to refine my voice and share my thoughts more clearly. Short-distance travels were frequent, giving me a sense of curiosity.
⚡️Venus, Mars, Pluto in the 8th house:
Now these placements fucked meee upppp and I really mean they fucked my life up and turned it to 180
With Pluto being in my 8th house, the intensity of this year was amplified 10x. The 8th house rules transformation, trauma, money, intimacy, and taboo topics, so this energy hit hard. At the start, I was determined to open a bank and savings account, but it took forever with endless complications. I became obsessed with earning money—whether through my own efforts or others' help. Mars pushed me to focus on loans, investments, and financial security, while Venus amplified my desire for deep, soul-bonding relationships, intimacy, and, let’s be real... a lot of … Pluto, however, had other plans, flipping my world upside down. It made me face every fear and trauma regarding death, losing loved ones, intimacy, change, love, and even illness. I got sick for six months straight, lost friends, stability, and other things. It led to a mild depression, but in true 8th house fashion, I rose stronger. Now, I feel like Wonder Woman nothing and no one can shake me. I survived the storm, and that’s power. 💪🔥
⚡️Saturn in the 9th house:
Soo with this Saturn placement your girl has been hustling for good grades in school to not fail for the year. like since then I hated going to school bc it very stressful, and bad for my well-being , like I was always tense and stressed bc of school, in our normal societal living that is very much expected from us but honestly I just wasn’t having it. And even when i changed to another school it was the same shit like the environment and people were very cold ,strict and depressing I honestly didn’t had a nice time at school but at least I was motivated to study and learn as much as I can but at the end I decided to rather drop out because it was fucking with mental health. Also traveling long as hours for work and school purposes drove me crazy, that’s an area where I have been very disciplined at but It definitely took patience and determination to get there ;) .
⚡️Uranus, Chiron in the 11th house:
Guese who tf lost all their friends suddenly ??? And had a hard time fitting in new social groups because they felt different from everyone else:
🙋🏽♀️
(but no for real the energy is 10x intensified bc I have it natally additionaly Saturn is transiting my natal 11th house so yeah 🙁) not only did I loose most of friends but when engaging with different kinds of social groups I felt so uncomfortable and weird, like I had a very detached feeling. I hated to even be surrounded by groups of ppl that don’t hold the same value to mine or I that I can’t engage in intellectual topic of my interest. I was mostly bored asf when in interactions and stoped giving a fuck about trying too fit in and please their expectation and needs, I surely saw also trough the fake persona of a lot of ppl that I encountered and distanced myself even more. But It was that easy being all alone and isolated.
#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astro community#astro placements#astro posts#astroloji#astroblr#solar return chart#solar retun
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Charles Leclerc imagine
In which you and your boyfriend Charles Leclerc decide to go on a little trip, only the two of you, and stay at a hotel
It wasn't until late June that you and your boyfriend had decided to go on a little trip, just the two of you, away from everyone. You were planning on not coming back for at least two weeks, which would be a lot for you. You weren't as used to travel as Charles, but you knew that it was the right thing to do. So much had been going on with family, friends, work. A break would make you feel better and focus more on what's important.
You heard Charles call your name as you were still packing your stuff.
"(Y/N)! We're gonna be late! Come on mon ange!" (my angel)
"Just give me two more minutes and I'll be there!" You answered, stressing as you started throwing the essentials in your suitcase instead of placing them carefully. After a couple of seconds, you hurried downstairs and saw from outside the window Charles packing his suitcase and bags in the truck of his car. You smiled and joined him.
"Hey, I've got everything." You said as you made his way over to him, holding your suitcase in one hand.
"Are you sure?" Charles asked.
"Yep!" You laughed and kissed him. He kissed you back and grabbed your suitcase from your hand, loading it in the car. He closed the trunk, made his way to the passenger door and opened it so that you could get inside. He went in the driver's seat and headed to the airport.
"I hope you have a wonderful stay!" The receptionist said with a smile on his face as he handed you 2 card keys that led to your hotel room. Charles took care of the luggage, except that when you wanted to help him with it, he only let you take a bag that had 2 water bottles and small snacks in it. You sighed but also smiled at how cute he was.
"Thank you!" You said as Charles made his final enter in the hotel with the remaining of the luggage in one hand.
The both of you went back up to your room using the elevator. Thankfully, it was empty so you could get all your things in one go. Charles looked at you as the elevator doors closed and he got closer to you. You smiled at him, getting on the tip of your toes as he kissed you and wrapped his arms around your waist, not letting you go. After what seemed like barely a second, the elevator doors opened but Charles was still holding you close to him, his lips planted on yours.
"Charles! We need to get out of the elevator, come on!" You said loudly while laughing. He wasn't listening so you had to escape from his grasp. He sighed as he grabbed the luggage and followed you to the room.
"Oh my Gosh, this looks absolutely gorgeous." You said, mesmerized as you entered the room. Everything was luxurious. There was golden furniture and decorations everywhere, the bathroom was huge, the bed looked very soft and fluffy, and there was even a balcony.
"You like it?" Charles asked as he set the luggage aside and hugged you from behind.
"Are you kidding? This is... perfect." You said in a low voice, still not believing it. You weren't used to luxury at all because of your childhood, but with Charles, you just knew that he'd be the opposite of that. And that's simply what he was.
"I'm glad. I knew you'd like it mon ange." (my angel)
As the day went on, the sky started to become darker. You and your boyfriend had went to the beach for a nice swim, went shopping, went at a fancy restaurant, went for another swim and took a walk back to the hotel. The second you got back in your room with Charles by your side, you kissed him. He kissed back immediately, not wasting a single second as he picked you up and set you down on the bed. He took your shoes off, then his and joined you. The bed was as comfortable as you thought. It was soft, fluffy and it even smelled amazing.
Charles gave you small kisses on your neck, his fingers trailed over the side of your body. The two of you kept eye contact which you knew he loved. You were his comfort zone and he didn't want you to go away, ever. He got on top of you and rested his head on your chest. It was around 11pm and both of you were tired. As time went on, you felt your boyfriend's breathing get slower and slower. You loved it when he fell asleep in your arms. Before joining him into a deep sleep, you kissed the top of his head multiple times and played with his hair, still a bit damp from the beach.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#cute#f1#f1 blurb#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#fandom#formula 1#formula one#romantic#romance#x yn#x reader#fanfic#imagine#f1 imagine#f1 fic#fangirl#hotel
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Hiii I just recently hurt myself accidentally while cooking 😭 so can I request how would you write any of the Moon Boys comforting the reader who feels insecure of scars or marks on their body. Would appreciate it a lot 💗
Hello, anon!
I'm so sorry that you hurt yourself :(
But nothing like a good moon boys x reader will fix that :]
WARNING: Some cursing and Intense Fluff 🤭
...
"OW- Fucking shit-" Y/n screamed at the pain of extreme heat touching their skin. You turned off the stove and went to the restroom to grab your mini med kit.
"Son of a b—" You mumbled to yourself.
You've gotten hurt plenty of times. Either from cooking, activities, etc. You've gotten insecure over the years because of the scars and marks from different activities.
The one time where you were frying chicken and the hot oil splutter on your skin. Leaving some marks on you.
You turned on the cold water from your sink and let the burn somewhat fix the burn.
You sat on the floor and opened the med kit. The irritation of your skin was a bit bad. You grabbed some aloe gel and gently placed it on your burn.
"Ow-" You winced at the pain.
While you were doing this treatment, you heard a knock at the door.
Keys jangling and swung open the door.
"Love, I'm home!"
Oh, goodie! Steven's here.
"Ah, shit-" You panicked and quickly hid the medical supplies.
"Love? Y/n! Where are you?" He was pacing around the house til he found you in the bathroom.
You were covering your hand behind your back.
"Ah, there you are! Marc, Jake and I started to become a little worried there." He hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.
"No, no, I'm always here, baby." You chuckled nervously.
Steven cupped your face and looked into your eyes. God, his cute dark eyes always get to you.
"I feel like you're hiding something..."
Your eyes widened slightly and chuckled nervously.
"What? No-"
He squeezes your face a bit tight.
You instantly knew that this wasn't Steven anymore and it was Marc. Steven was the more gentle of the boys.
"Y/n, I know you're lying to me."
"I- no, I'm not-"
"Yes, you are."
Shit, you've been caught red-handed. (No pun intended.)
"Okay, fine. You got me." You put your burned hand in front of him.
"I burned myself while cooking..."
God, this was so embarrassing to you. You've had too many scars and marks on yourself, you thought for sure they were gonna leave you.
"The burn doesn't look too bad." He grabbed your hand and examined the injury.
"Huh? You- You're not gonna leave me?"
His eyes shot up to you.
"Why would I ever wanna do that?"
"I- because of all of the scars and marks I have on my body... you don't think it's embarrassing?"
"No?"
Marc paused for a moment and seeming zoned out. He was probably talking to Steven and Jake.
"Steven said that he would never leave you."
He looked at your wound and paused again.
"Jake said that he would be stupid to even do that."
You chuckled lightly at their responses.
"Really?" You sighed and leaned against the sink.
"Mhm, and I agree with the both of 'em. You're literally too good to be true, Y/n. Sometimes me and the boys don't even know of how lucky we are to have you."
"But what about my scars?–"
"The scars don't matter. We love you with or without any scars or marks."
He paused again.
"Jake wants to take control to get rid of that stupid stuff you said about yourself."
You sighed, "Alright, bring him out..."
You felt your hand being squeezed.
"Hola, mi amor." (Hey, my love.) He kissed your hand.
You smiled lightly. "Hey, baby."
"So, what in the wrong fucking mindset are you even in?"
"Uh, I don’t know... I just thought that the three of you were gonna leave me and—"
"Esa es la cosa más estúpida que he oído jamás". (That is the most stupidest thing I have ever heard.)
"I know..."
"Cariño, we will love you til the end."
"Thank you, baby... thank you to the three of you..."
"No hay problema, bebé. (No problem, baby.)
"Want me to fix you up?"
You nodded. "That would be wonderful..."
Hello! I hope you enjoyed this! I absolutely love writing Fluff so this was by far the most exciting story to work on!
Also, very sorry for not posting sooner I had a lot of exams so I didn't have time to post this story!
#♡mochimoqa♡#moon knight#steven grant#moon boys#jake lockley#moon knight system#oscar issac imagine#oscar issac characters#oscar isaac characters#oscar isaac#moonknight fanfiction#moonknight fic#moonknight x reader#marc spector#layla el faouly#steven grant x reader#steven grant x you#steven grant x gender neutral reader#steven grant x y/n#marc spector x reader#marc spector x you#marc spector imagine#khonshu#jake lockely x reader#jake lockley x reader#jake lockley x you#jake lockley fanfiction#Moonknight x you
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tacky! if you’re not fed up with talking about it: what was your macro process for first watch of the night, soup to nuts? wondering about how you broke down outlining, drafting, editing. was it different in scope from your ordinary process, or just scaled up?
soup to nuts, baby (i had to google that, it is one of those delightful phrases that we don't use here and i'm hopelessly charmed by it).
thanks for the ask, pal. i'm always interested in people's processes myself, particularly since I came to writing so late (late 30s) and have never approached it formally. i do read an awful lot and that i think is my main influence and teacher (less so in recent years but am trying to get back to incessant reading). i have also been trying to read more works in translation and to revisit classics too, as well as try more formally inventive works. this i struggle with as i'm a bit basic when it comes to reading, i like the segue 'twixt page and brain to be seamless so it's like i'm absorbing it rather than thinking about it, while ofc a more experimental style does often necessitate thinking about it. My partner (approvingly) described my original work as a 'stylistic blank' (the cleaner the better i say) and that's exactly what i like best to read - though it's always a pleasure to be dragged by the throat out of my comfort zone too.
I would always have described myself as a pantser - I never outline, never do writing exercises or character work or beat sheets or whatever (i'm quite resistant to a very structured formal approach). every fic i ever write starts with the germ of one very specific idea - a cameraflash-quick image of a scene, a piece of dialogue... whatever it is. and then i usually start to write at the start and then work my way through.
This one was fairly similar in approach, initially. I opened one doc for loose note-taking — it's where i jot down any ideas i had for scenes, any snippets of dialogue, anything I'd need to remember. I then started writing the fic itself - in this case, I actually skipped through and wrote out of order, not that I knew what order things were going to go in, as such - but I just wrote any scenes I had thought of that felt interesting to me, and skipped a lot of the world-buildingy scenes or the sort of "texture" scenes, the ones that construct a sense of the world they're in and the relationships they have. I then found myself in the position of having to go back and write those bridging scenes, and make the connections (which in some cases did not naturally fall into place) - it was not easy, and I wish i had taken a more linear approach to the writing, in retrospect.
So by the end, some scenes in this fic were written in 2021 and some in late 2024, which means that when I finally finished the rough first draft, the writing quality was patchy, the pacing was off, and some plotty stuff really didn't make sense. That's when the real hard work started.
A few people had looked over very early scenes, but the bulk of the fic was written with no input from anyone else - just three years of writing it into a vacuum without any sense of perspective. Showing it to my alpha/beta people was so nerve-wracking. they read it at different times, which was great as i could concentrate on their feedback one by one, and all three of them had different suggestions (as well as lots of overlap ofc). It was extremely helpful to see what made sense to them, and what they liked - but more significantly, what bits they went 'what the fuck' at, or which bits all three of them had issue with (i'm thinking of the ending here, i really had to kill some darlings there when all three were unanimously just like... tacky no). i had different docs for all three of them, and i worked off one master doc, deciding which changes i wanted to incorporate and how i wanted to approach them. plot stuff was a HUGE issue. the writing quality could be smoothed out - but i'm not a plotty writer and sadly this fic has A LOT of plot. so i needed to work on that. i also have some wolfstar (including a sex scene) which i was nervous about, as i have never read any wolfstar.
Once i finished all the edits, i then did one more read-through myself. I've never edited on such a significant level before. my other two longer fics were written for fests, usually in a scramble to get them done on time — this felt expansive in a way i couldn't have imagined allowing myself to be before i was in it, but as i was working it didn't feel necessary to try to force myself into speed i couldn't hope to achieve or maintain.
@sweet-s0rr0w and i had a really happy morning organising the chapter breaks, and then i had to decide on a title and write a summary. tagging was easier as i had my friends to advise.
another big difference to previous processes is the posting schedule. now i'm posting a chapter every two days, i spend the day between posts working on the upcoming chapter one more time. in all but one chapter i have made quite a few changes immediately prior to posting, which just goes to show that the work is shaping itself as it goes. It's been fascinating to me how putting the fic out into the world is giving me a sense of perspective, creative distance, and dare i say a tighter control over the narrative now that it's not just in my head anymore? so i do think any tiny remaining wrinkles are more satisfyingly flattened than i could have ever hoped for.
so in short, this work is different in scale, ambition, and process in almost every way to anything i've ever written. I can't imagine i'm likely to be able to pour myself into something so profoundly ever again, tbh. it took me by surprise, but it's been the most creatively satisfying thing i've ever done. having people finally reading it (and so generously too) is like getting a very special gift.
Regrets? Being the slowest writer in the world, being too perfectionist (not that i think it's perfect in any way, just i wanted it to be the best i could make it, when it probably would have been grand if it was ehhh fine, you know?) Also, i think i could probably have refined the pacing a bit more. We're on chapter 7 now and six months have passed, so basically the last three months of the fic take place over the last 14 chapters 🙈 But that's because this is where most of the romance and plot develops, so it makes sense that it would take up more space. And i do firmly believe that fics should be a bit self-inulgent, so why not stretch out in the parts i'm most interested in writing?
tagging @citrusses @maesterchill and @sweet-s0rr0w who i can never thank enough for the work they did to get me to this point. everyone already knows what brilliant writers all three are - what a lucky bastard i am to have had their insights and advice.
#jeez this was a fun lookback#thanks yikes#feels like i'm offering up my crayon scribbles to one of the old masters tbh#considering how you've been knocking my socks off with your fics#i really appreciate the opportunity to look back over the process now i'm out of it#tacky's fth#drarry#first watch#rowing and chatting
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being blair waldorf's girlfriend hc's
bullets: 43
warnings: none
summary: dating blair waldorf would include / blair waldorf dating hc's
a/n: I love blair sm and I enjoyed writing this for her! I got inspired since I'm currently watching gossip girl while sick and it's a nice series though it has a lot of drama lol. anyways enjoy!
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
blair loves to boss you around but not in the "oh do this and that for me" way but more in a "no don't touch that, y/n! y/n I told you to stay by my side!" way
blair is super protective of you and she's kind of like a helicopter mom whenever the two of you are together
she holds your hand the entire time when you're out at a party, acting like you're in danger and keeps you away from alcohol at all costs
if someone messes with you, she won't hesitate to dig up some dirt about them and expose them in front of everyone
she wouldn't do it anonymously on gossip girl though, she would make sure the person harassing you would know it was her, your girlfriend, and that they should stay away from you
or else
you two have sleepovers a lot, you love doing each other's makeup, watching gilmore girls together and cuddle a lot <3
she definitely brags about you in front of her clique and serena
"while you losers are out going to this stupid party, I'm going to the theater to watch a play, with my girlfriend"
she loves to spoil you (her love language is probably gift giving or words of affirmation + physical touch)
she knows exactly what you like so it's very easy for her to buy gifts for you
probably has a list in her room somewhere of things that you hate / love / dislike / like
she knows what beauty products you like, what smell is your favorite, your favorite colour, favorite author, favorite kind of clothes, gold or silver jewelry
when the two of you are in an especially good place she'll probably come to your apartment (or your shared apartment who knows) and just yell "Honey, I went shopping!" and then just have like 10 shopping bags in the living room, full of stuff just for you
she gets pretty easily annoyed with you when she's not getting what she wants or when she's frustrated with her friends (yes, sometimes she lets it out on you)
she's always very quick to apologize, knowing that you're her sweetheart and that you only want the best for her 🩷
you are one of the only people that can help her get through her mood swings and calm her down when she feels like the whole world is crashing down on her again
when her parents got a divorce, you were right by her side, holding her hand throughout the whole thing and being more her best friend than serena ever could
christmas or any other holiday is always so amazing because she puts in a lot of effort to make them special
will do romantic festive dates with you like go to the christmas market, take a walk through the winter wonderland in central park, go to festive little parties together
you probably have a lot of traditions
like on the first day of school you both will get donuts for breakfast or when there's a ball coming up, the both of you will go shopping together
I could picture that you're not that into shopping (which blair thinks is a total embarrassment) so she will pick out a few dresses for you (since she knows what looks good on you)
she will let you choose the dress you want but will whine if you don't choose the dress she thinks is best
"but y/n!! the blue one looks so much better on you! choose that one!"
blair is very bossy and probably wears the pants in your relationship
she likes to be in control
but you make her step out of her comfort zone sometimes and "make her do crazy things", like she would call it
one time blair whined about her high heels hurting her feet and that she couldn't dance in those goddamn shoes
so the next day you took her to buy sneakers, so that she could dance properly and not be hindered by her heels (pic in the collage with the two girls in the red and blue dresses, they're wearing sneakers hehe)
"No, y/n, no! I won't be wearing this monstrosity of a shoe to a party! What if someone will see, huh?
"Come on, babe! No one will see, I promise! And if so, there's no shame in wanting to not hurt your feet and dance!"
She groans but puts on the shoes regardless
and the both of you have the best night ever, dancing until dawn
also, dorota loves you and thinks you're such a sweetheart
whenever you come over to blair's apartment, she gets really excited, asking you how you've been and telling you how "Miss Blair missed you very much"
you're also probably good friends with Serena and Chuck, since these are the people she's closest with
also you and Blair love to gossip, especially about other people
you always have some kind of drama to discuss or some person to embarrass and take down
you're sort of "partners in crime" even though she hates getting you involved in that stuff
you're probably the most iconic couple at your school and there's a lot of attention on you two because on the upper east side, there aren't a lot of lesbian couples
but you're so in love and there's nobody that could not be jealous of your jealous of your relationship
because you're literally perfect together
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
#gossip girl#blair waldorf#gossip girl Blair#gossip girl Blair Waldorf#blair waldorf x reader#Blair Waldorf x fem reader#dating blair waldorf would include#gossip girl headcanons#blair waldorf aesthetic#lesbian#lgbtq#Blair Waldorf headcanons#blair waldorf x fem reader
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HELLAVERSE x Reader - Part 2 of ? - Life with Owl Boi
GIF by honey-im-still-free
GIF by fatboychedda
GIF by idzymi
Summary: You're just some person who lived on your own in a slightly spooky town. Who knew demons would show up! Who knew they'd end up living with you?
Tags: Reader Insert, Hazbin Hotel Characters, Helluva Boss Characters, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Romance
Relationships: ( & for platonic, x for Romance)
Stolas & Reader, Fizzarolli & Reader, Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader
Stolas was actually a pretty good roomate. After the initial awkwardness and hour tour, you quickly established some rules:
No breaking my stuff
No stealing my stuff
No hurting my cat
No hurting me
Don't be a jerk
Stolas agreed, saying these were rather reasonable terms.
You lived in a rather run-down house which was great because it was rather cheap. It had working wifi and the roof didn't leak and the water was clean so it was ok. So what if the doors were slightly ajar and the paint was peeling?
Anyway, because you had this run-down house you had an extra room to spare. you admitted to Stolas that it was rather dusty and mainly used as a storage room but he was just flattered you were giving him his own space at all.
Between the two of you, the room got cleared out and dusted and the small family of opossums living there were chased away, You didn't know they were there but that'd explain where your peanut butter kept going.
Stolas was talkative and somehow never said a thing. He'd often ramble about plants and stars or whatever interested him at the moment but would quickly end up apologizing over and over. You let him know you didn't mind. Also that you might zone out but it had nothing to do with him you just had a hard time focusing for any extended amount of time.
"I believe that's called Attention Deficient Disorder, yes? Or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?"
You told him you had no idea and just left it at that. He didn't pry, which you were thankful for.
Stolas told you a lot of things, and you did your best to remember the things that seemed important. You got him a small potted plant you saw at the hardware store as well as some basic plant-tending supplies. He was overjoyed and was basically in tears. So much so you were confused and worried that you had done something wrong.
"O-oh my, no!" Stolas fretted, wiping the growing tears off his cheeks "These are happy tears, my friend. I just- I can't really remember the last time someone got me a gift. It makes me...it makes me happy."
That gift opened the floodgate for you to get more random things you think he'd like. Glow-in-the-dark star stickers, small succulents and flowers, a funny looking stuffed animal of indeterminable species... That last one wasn't based on anything more than you just thought it'd be something he'd like.
It was.
He hugs it in his sleep.
Once Stolas saw you fretting over bills, he started feeling kind of...well. Very guilty. He was just staying here this whole time doing nothing while you constantly gifted him with things simply because you think he'd like them (and he does! it honestly doesn't matter what it is because you gave it to him and that alone make him happy).
And here you were paying for it all. It reminded him of his rather sheltered and pampered upbringing. And how selfish and conceited he could be because of it.
So, the owl demon threw on his best human disguise, went to town, and got a job.
...
You know this because you had to comfort him after said job.
"-and they just YELLED at me because I sat down for, like, five minutes??? My feet were hurting and the customers were so mean even though I didn't do anything to them??"
Man was not made for retail. You asked him why he got a job at all. His answer made you feel rather fuzzy on the inside. You hadn't even brought that up, but he noticed and tried to help.
You still asked him to quit because of how stressed he was. Maybe he can be like a live-in maid kind of thing? You couldn't really pay him for that but you'd take care of the money stuff... He agreed to that but insisted he try to find a different job.
You were just confused as to how he got one so quickly in the first place.
Eventually, life calmed down and you and your new roommate got into a bit of routine. Work, play, research ways to return to Hell, etc etc...
...then The Storm hit.
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As someone who can't afford to go to animation school n adores your work- are there any advice or tips they taught you could share that transfer to art or comics? I know you talked about learning how to properly reference things which I admit I think I and a lot of other artists struggle with knowing how to do
Ironically enough, as much as I learned that I do NOT have the patience for animating (which is... ironic, considering all the patience that's required to make a comic LMAO) I did still learn a lot from it that I was able to take into comics. Storyboarding was one of the more obvious ones, as storyboards are basically just the "still versions" of an animation before it's been animated, with establishing shots, camera pans, dialogue shots, etc. all of which you'd find utilized in a comic.
Alongside that was learning how to draw consistently. Turnaround sheets are a shared practice in both animation and comics, they're necessary to creating an ongoing project that features the same core cast of characters. Learning how to draw the same characters the exact same way every time in a way that's both consistent and efficient is crucial.
That said, aside from those little starting tips, I do hope that some day you're able to find the means to go to school for animation or whatever it is that you're desiring to go into and learn. Yes, post-secondary schooling is expensive, and there are a lot of risks in pursuing a diploma/degree that can affect your future. That said, as someone who went to a school that literally no longer exists (like fr I don't even know if I can get my transcript anymore so for all I know, the year I spent in animation college only exists in the student loans that I'm still paying off, rip) I still learned and gained so much that I simply wouldn't have in high school or on Youtube. The biggest of which was the environment - being put into an actual dedicated space for learning art, with peers and teachers who were all unified in that space working towards the same goal, made so much more of a difference in my learning than I initially anticipated. I got so much feedback and guidance thanks to my instructors, and it really put me into a space where I was forced to try new things, I couldn't keep relying on the same tricks and comfort zones anymore. If it weren't for my instructors pushing me to step outside of that comfort zone, I never would have learned how to draw from life or use other mediums that subsequently became the foundations of the stuff I make today.
And while a lot of the things they taught I could have learned on Youtube or CTRL+Paint or Draw-a-Box, being in an actual classroom with grades and a schedule to abide by actually kept me moving in a forward direction and gave me so much more help on a personal level than some guy on Youtube could have given me reading from a script or, in this case, some rando on Tumblr responding to anonymous asks LMAO
Obviously, I'm never gonna recommend that anyone put themselves into financial ruin for post-secondary schooling, ESPECIALLY right now with the economy being what it is, but I do hope that if you genuinely want to go to school that you can find the means to do so, whether it's opting for community classes or applying for scholarships/bursaries/grants/etc or even just signing up for a local art class. Do your research on what's available and feasible to you - even art clubs can be super helpful in getting you out there and talking to people! As much as we may all be slaving away over our desks creating our next big piece, art is still a form of community and interpersonal communication - whether it's between you and an audience, or a peer with whom you exchange new ideas and feedback, or a mentor whose skills you hope to inherit and pass on to the next generation.
Until then though, keep creating and keep getting inspired. If you've never drawn from life before, set up a bowl of fruit and draw it as closely as you can to the real thing, or go to the food court and see how quickly you can sketch the people walking by before they're gone. If you've never tried storyboarding before, grab a piece of paper, find a scene from a live action movie you like, and storyboard it as if you were making an animated film. Try things! Fail at it! Try it again! See what happens!
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An about me post that’s probably too long ♡ feat. my room ^^
I fully embrace my true love with the 80’s and its rock/metal music scene. I’ve always loved the decade and its music, but have jumped between interests that didn’t hold me for long for most of my life. But now I’m here, and it feels right. And I can thank my dad.
He’s a metalhead. He had the classic long, shaggy hairstyle in the 80’s. I always remember him blaring his favorite Metallica and Alice in Chains albums from the garage, where he worked on cars and occasional motorcycles. He still does that.
Every morning before elementary school, he’d have the huge box tv playing music videos. My favorites were AC/DC. And while I watched, I had Pop-Tarts, but little me never had the heart to tell my dad I didn’t like them toasted when he brought them to me 😅
Growing up, he introduced me to the best classic movies from the 80’s. Back to the Future, Spaceballs, the Goonies, Mannequin, Uncle Buck, the Lost Boys (my dad loved vampire stuff, and I do, too), National Lampoon, Princess Bride, so much more. I grew up pure classic. And I like staying that way. It’s a huge comfort.
Now, not much has changed. I prefer 70’s, 80’s, and VERY early 90’s music (like Hollywood Vampires. I can’t do the grunge stuff, sorry! 80’s metalhead heart ♡). I rarely listen to modern music, and when I do it’s mostly for the novel I’m writing to get in the zone. I love Vlad Dracula (the historical Vlad), and have been writing a historical novel about him, and using the real facts in my research from Romanian sources (on here, I love the user @/vladdocs for info about Vlad).
L.A. Guns…the love I have for them came out of nowhere, and that kind of love is usually the best in my experience. I love their style. I love what they brought to the music scene. Their songs gave a fresh alternative to the hard rock sounds of the time. They never remained within any limiting norms. I wish they got to reach stadium level like Mötley Crüe.
I love the “classic” lineup of L.A. Guns. Mick, Phil, Tracii, Kelly, Steve. Love each them to bits, and miss Steve. Kelly is my comfort person, I’d say. I share common interests with him, and from what I’ve watched and read about him, I love how goofy and true to himself he is. Like he embraces his inner child, and I love that. He’s a cutie pie for sure, but his personality is what gets me most. He’s not afraid to be bold with what he likes (like pirates! I LOVE pirates. My dad raised me on Pirates of the Caribbean, and I love the overall history of pirates). Sometimes I wish I could just talk to Kelly about graphic design. That’d be so cool. I’ve been dabbling in it since middle school, and went to college for it.
Late June of 2024 I had one of the coolest experiences concerning the 80’s rock and metal scene. Night Ranger and REO Speedwagon were in my city. I got to meet a guitar tech of Night Ranger. SUPER down to earth guy. British and named Darren. He’s close with Tracii Guns and worked for L.A. Guns in the early 90’s. He’s also been a roadie for Aerosmith and Def Leppard and so many others! I still have his number and ask him for stories from time to time. I got to chill in a bar with Night Ranger because of him and that was incredibly surreal. Love him for letting me be so close to the music scene I highly adore and get comfort from.
So, my room is my safe space and I like to really have it just scream me. It’s full of original stuff, down to the cassettes, magazines, ‘89 Mötley concert bandana, and magazine pinups. The only original thing I DON’T own is the 2 L.A. Guns shirts I have. Reprints. I love it all so much, and I’m still getting more. My favorite piece is the original Cocked & Loaded vinyl signed by the classic lineup ♡
The bands I love most are L.A. Guns, Mötley Crüe, Cinderella, Dokken, Danger Danger, Def Leppard, KISS, AC/DC, Icon, Billy Idol (got to see him in May ‘24!), Bulletboys, Poison, Van Halen, and so many more it’s a lot 😭 ♡
This definitely isn’t everything about me, but it’s a taste of the main stuff ♡
#about myself#l.a. guns#la guns#mötley crüe#kelly nickels#phil lewis#tracii guns#steve riley#mick cripps#1980s#80s#80s music
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