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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

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All in the Family

Chapter 83: The Egg and the Eye

They really should have enjoyed those other landings while they hand the chance, as every one of them groaned in painful misery upon impact in the most uncomfortable way possible across hard, cold tile floors. Peter got the worst of it, he landed with an echoing bang upon copper pipes that left the walls themselves vibrating as he finally came to a stop face down in the bathtub beneath.

"Everyone still alive?" James called miserably, rubbing at his head and staring blearily around, but his vision wasn't coming back into focus.

"More or less," Sirius answered as he began looking around for Prongs' glasses.

Remus peeked over the edge to see Peter curling onto his side now, whimpering in pain, several fresh bruises likely to come of it. He hopped down and offered him a comforting pat on the shoulder while performing a minor healing charm to at least help take the edge off the worst of the pain, allowing him to sit upright at least.

Lily had gotten it the easiest, landing on the wooden towel rack and knocking the whole thing over, now tangled up in them. Frank went over to help get her out, while Alice got uneasily to her feet, holding the golden egg curiously.

"Where are we?" Lily demanded as she finally pulled the last, thankfully dry and clean, towel from off her head while Frank tugged the fluffy white one free where it had tangled her legs.

"Prefects bathroom," the lone Prefect of their group answered as he pulled his friend out of, what the others now realized, was indeed a swimming pool sized bathtub.

She looked around with admiration at the grandeur of every gleaming tile, the picture of a mermaid more reminiscent of her youth than any textbook she'd found in this castle, and the diving board as she grudgingly made her way to Potter and handed him his glasses she'd somehow acquired in her mess.

He set them back in place and she immediately regretted her moment of kindness as he beckoned her to follow. "Come here Evans, you're going to love this."

"Last time we ended up in a bathroom it wasn't exactly pleasant," she grumbled as she watched him regardless, bolting right past everyone to the available taps each with a different jewel inset, and turning two on at once.

She, Alice, and Frank edged forward to see one pipe shooting out rainbow glitter, the other had lavender scented, flower shaped bubbles dripping down. Lily knelt and stuck her hand in curiously, to find it the perfect temperature.

"This thing's a damned miracle worker if you need to relax, I've spent ages in here this year before a Quidditch game thanks to Moony sharing the password. Really helps relax the muscles," he said with an open grin at her, she was pretty sure he wasn't even imagining her in the tub yet.

"I'll bet even Snivellus would take a bath in this," Sirius Black muttered from behind his best mate, who laughed in surprise. Lily scowled hatefully and stalked away. James watched her go with an unrepentant smile, he'd never grow tired of her tenacity.

"Passwords Pine Fresh, it never changes," he called to her retreating form.

"You ever think you're taking the wrong approach there," Alice was frowning at the pair of idiots, Potter didn't even seem to realize he'd done anything wrong.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it," he said in all cheerfulness.

Frank scowled at the idiot, took Alice's hand, and led her away without argument, joining Lily near the door now, the three of them inspecting the egg with curiosity and discussing if Harry would actually work out the clue in this place like Cedric Diggory had suggested.

James watched the three with longing, he'd love to go over there, take Lily's hand so casually, just shoot the breeze and talk amongst her and her friends all day. He was genuinely happy for her she finally had decent people to talk to, she'd never given herself the chance always hanging around Snivellus, and he hoped it stayed that way. From what he'd known of Smith and Longbottom before all this they were decent people, always stayed on the fringe of classes, but for two purebloods they certainly never got involved in the nastier students he did know of their houses.

He knew if he tried now she'd spurn him again, he really shouldn't have laughed at Sirius' joke and he knew that, but didn't she get that's what it was? A joke? If Padfoot had said the same about Regulus or even himself James would have laughed. She was always so diligent about everything in her life, it was one of the many aspects of why he loved to watch her. The way she always thought through a question so long before answering, she often missed her opportunity in class, she studiously stuck to what she was doing despite his best attempts, be it hanging around a waste of space like Snape or her homework, he only wanted to give her a bit of fun in her life she really needed. She'd get that eventually.

James turned back to see Regulus was trying to pick a fight with Sirius, again. There was another lad who needed more fun in his life, as well as that stick removed from his arse.

"You really don't have anything else to say to him?" Regulus demanded.

"What's there to say?" Sirius forced casualness in his voice without looking up, clearly intent on looking for his favorite tap that would give the foam the consistency of a snowball. "He'd say he could never do it, again, we believe him, I guess, and we move on." His hand was trembling so hard by the end he didn't seem to know which way he was trying to twist the tap anymore, but it wasn't moving regardless. "Guess we'll all find out what's what eventually, yeah?"

Peter and Regulus exchanged an uneasy look. It wasn't a solution as far as they were concerned, Sirius had managed to avoid the question, but it was...progress?

James clucked his tongue and jumped in to stop anything else happening, so long as they were all stuck together he would not rest until he got some enjoyment. "Tell me you lot aren't actually going to spend the entire time we're in here, of all places, talking!"

Then he shucked out of his clothes in record time once more, boxers alone covering him as he dived head long into the water. Sirius grinned and quickly mimicked him, with a cannon ball off the diving board splashing the mermaids painting. The two caused water to immediately start sloshing over the edges as they began a rowdy game of tag.

Peter did not feel like joining them, but he dutifully sat on the edge of the pool next to Remus, who was smiling and laughing at their antics and egging them on. He summoned the book to him, which bizarrely came shooting out of one of the pipes that had yet been turned on, and flipped it open before looking around and seeing Regulus hovering uneasily. He beckoned him over and smiled when he did with only a bit of hesitation. None of them felt up to talking anymore it seemed, and if asked they would have blamed it on how close they hopefully were to discovering Harry's egg clue.

"The Egg and the Eye? What's an eye got to do with this?" Lily shivered in disgust at the idea, wondering for a wild moment if the egg was going to somehow get Harry put in the hospital wing for hurting his eye or something.

"Maybe Moody makes another grand appearance," Frank offered, "helps him out again."

Lily nodded this made sense, admittedly more distracted than she would have liked to admit as she eyed Potter and Black in the pool. It seemed for every step she took to actually try and be civil to him, more in pity than anything for this mess so thoroughly and repeatedly having an affect on him, he took seven back. Reverting back to the same loathsome toerag at the first chance, would the idiot never learn his lesson?

She listened intently as Harry made his way here, enjoyed himself for a few moments with the pool as well, and then nearly had heart failure when Moaning Myrtle appeared. Her popping eyes stayed on the Marauders, none of whom batted an eye at this development. Only little Regulus Black was spluttering in surprise, and he got a mouth full of soapy water from his brother for that before he could say anything.

"Well, this bathroom just lost a bit of appeal," Alice shivered in revulsion as she hugged herself for a moment at the idea of a ghost peeping in on her.

"It's never occurred to me they can just appear in the bathrooms, of anywhere in here," Frank agreed with a grimace. Lily looked around hopefully, and spotted Harry's copy of the Marauders Map. It must have been, as it was several years older than the one she'd seen in said Marauders possession inside Honeydukes, which was currently still in one of their pockets. This one had aged parchment, was crinkled, and dogeared. Yet the enchantment to activate it still worked just as well, and she scanned it carefully now for their place, finally spotting their eight little dots, but not another soul except Mrs. Norris several floors down.

She showed the other two, who only looked slightly less queasy, as that didn't change how often it likely still did happen.

Harry's unendearing encounter with her was almost worth it though, as she helped him work out his clue, and they all listened open mouthed at the mermaid song.

"Damn, that's brilliant," Frank was smiling now at the prospect of hearing this in person but still eyeing the water, and the two rowdy boys in it, without much hope.

James and Sirius had been listening, and were quite pleased at this new development, but now that it had come to pass what Harry would be dealing with, they refused to let it sink down their groups spirits as much as it was Harry's. Yeah, how would he breath underwater for an hour? It was a valid question, and one they could deal with later. For now James heaved himself out of the pool and went padding over to them, but they'd clearly been so distracted they didn't realize any such thing until he said right beside them, "are you really not going to get in?"

Smith dropped the egg in surprise, it did indeed clatter around before opening with a painfully loud racket before he went chasing after it to close it. The three were left with more aggrieved looks than ever on him, so he shrugged and said, "have it your way." Prize now in hand, he jogged back and did a flip into the water.

Sirius waited for no such thing as permission, he'd taken the eggs noisy distraction to swim over to Remus, grab his legs, and jerk him in. He came up trying to splutter curses through the soapy water and swatting at him to Sirius' unrepentant smile. "Now if only we were the only two in here," he whispered into his ear, reaching through the water to squeeze the inside of his thigh before taking off again.

Remus swallowed another mouthful and was now grateful nobody could see below his waist, and the water really was rather warm, that's why his skin was suddenly so flush.

"Well then you two, are you going to have a listen?" James called, pushing his hair out of his face to eye Peter and Regulus, but both had been reexamining the mermaids song and barely looked up long enough to shake their heads they didn't want to get in. "How on Earth did we get saddled into this mess with such boring wankers?" He demanded of Sirius.

"Beats me Prongs," Sirius nodded, before taking a breath and ducking under the water. James quickly followed, and Remus rolled his eyes before acquitting.

By the time they came up, Harry was stuck in the trick stair and witness to the strangest of nighttime scenes even they'd never been privy to.

Lily watched as Potter laughed himself silly at his sons misfortune, then rolled onto his back and began floating peacefully in the water like he could take a nap to the sound of this mess. It infuriated her to no end, Harry could get into so much trouble if he was caught now, did he really not care at all? She reflected back if she'd just seen this back before this mess started she would have thought him the most uncaring heartless person there was, but she knew better now. That was him fidgeting, not just kicking his legs around in the water at the idea of Harry getting caught. He kept dumping his head back into the water and then sitting up and ruffling his hair into messy spikes rather than show his concern why Barty Crouch was so weirdly involved in something to do with Severus' office.

It wasn't as if he was afraid to show any other emotion, like brash carelessness or obnoxiousness, why then did he feel the need to smother such things?

Regulus watched over Peter's shoulder as Moody saved Harry yet again from getting caught by Snape and fixing this mess for him, he couldn't blame the auoror's intensity over the map either when he got his hand on it. While Sirius and his two friends continued splashing each other wildly, with no hope of hearing the warning the chapter was almost over, he reached over and grabbed the two idiots clothes and held them firmly against his chest. He wouldn't wish that mess upon anyone.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #GoF #Marauders #wolfstar #Jilly #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Regulus Black #Peter Pettigrew #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith #Lily Evans

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dessarps-blog · 8 years ago

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“Did you just say you’re pregnant?” // “The doctor said this might help with the morning sickness…” // “You mean I’m going to be a father?” // “I really like this color for the nursery, what do you think?” // “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” // “I can’t believe we’re finally going to have a baby.” //

“Did you just say you’re pregnant?” (Devmond)

“Did I stutter?” The tone in her voice was obvious irritation, but there was something there that he didn’t recognize. Something about it wasn’t her usual, brash, overly confident manner. Something wasn’t the same as the girl he had taken to bed before, the girl he spoke to so freely on set. Something in Cadence’s tone was off, and Thomas didn’t know if he was just searching for that, searching for some kind of tremor, or if he really heard it. He couldn’t believe he was imagining it, though.

Cadence still looked irritated, though, and she didn’t let him speak after his moment of shock, instead continuing. “I’m going to get rid of it, so don’t worry about it. I’m just informing you so that you know, in case someone gets pictures of me going into or out of the clinic or something. I already have an appointment in place, I just have to go to it over the weekend, and I should be able to avoid being seen. But if I can’t, you know your little wife is going to know what’s going on.”

Thomas wasn’t sure why he wasn’t expecting that. Cadence didn’t love him, and he knew it. As much as it stung to admit, even to himself, she had never loved him. She enjoyed the sex, certainly, but there would be no romance lost between them when the appointment was complete. The thought that she could so easily get rid of their child, though, and that she would do so with no hesitation… It certainly stung, and the knowledge that he couldn’t rightly stop her just made it that much worse.

Sylvie would lose it if she knew. Not in anger, of course. She would do nothing but cry for weeks, and he would never be able to forgive himself for hurting her that way. If she found out about the affair in the first place, that would be bad enough, but to have living proof of it that Thomas wouldn’t even be able to keep himself from seeing… Well. It would just hurt her even more, and he could feel the guilt welling up in his throat already. He could taste it in the back of his mouth with copper clarity.

Still, he couldn’t help himself from saying what he did. The quiet, “I wish you wouldn’t,” was past his lips before he could stop it, and he was surprised to see Cadence stop in her steps, to see her turn slightly toward him for a moment, as though considering his words. When she spoke in return, it was quiet. “I’ll be off the Island for a few months after the appointment. I leave for my movie in the States on Sunday. Don’t wait up to hear anything back. I’ll take care of it.”

“The doctor said this might help with the morning sickness…” (Pyrien)

Pyxis didn’t know if he believed that. The way his stomach was churning, he was positive he would never be able to eat again. It was like an awful flu, the kind of flu that put you into the hospital for an afternoon with dehydration by the time you passed the second day, and he didn’t think he was ever going to get past it. Something in him had thought at first that something was wrong with the baby. He had been convinced of that, as a matter of fact, and had almost made Laurien take him to the doctor.

It was Laurien’s luck, really, that had him agree to just calling the office to see if they had any suggestions. Holding his hand out, Pyxis took the dissolving tablet from his husband’s hand, popping it into his mouth before he moved back to lean against the tub again. It was easy enough from here to just lean forward and throw up again, and as long as he didn’t smell the coffee in the kitchen, the coffee that he so loved in the morning, he seemed to be alright. For the moment, at least.

“I swear to god, if it’s always this bad, I’m just going to die,” he muttered dramatically, looking up as Laurien moved to sit down next to him. “I’m just going to die, Laurien. This is awful.” Of course, the fault for that didn’t lay with Laurien. Neither of them could have known his morning sickness would be this awful. Pyxis’s first pregnancy had gone so smoothly, and that the second one was going so awfully – at least in the sense of his sickness – was a shock to them and their doctor alike.

Laurien gave a slight chuckle, though, and carded a hand through Pyxis’s hair when he settled. “You’re not going to die,” he returned, though his laugh earned him a half-hearted glare from the brunet. “You’ll be fine in an hour. Once the morning sickness passes, it’ll be fine.” Of course, that was assuming Pyxis didn’t get his mother’s penchant for evening sickness as well. But Laurien wasn’t going to bring that up now. Fatimah had come so easily, surely this child would be easier when he adjusted to his nausea.

Pyxis groaned and tilted his head back against the closed shower doors, letting his eyes shut. “Whatever this was, it’s kind of weird. It tastes fruity. What the hell is this even?” he questioned, tilting his head toward Laurien when he rested a cool hand on his forehead. “This is that flight stuff, isn’t it. Drama-something. If I have to take this every morning, I hope you know it’ll probably start to make me sick too. Just from having it so much. This is gonna pass in like a month, right?”

“You mean I’m going to be a father?” (Farrasmus)

Erasmus sounded so surprised that Farrah gave a laugh at his question, nodding her approval. Of course, she couldn’t blame him for being surprised. She was surprised herself, as the doctor had been when she told her the results of her blood testing for the year. It wasn’t something either of them were trying for, or something either of them were particularly ready for, she was fairly certain. But maybe, just maybe, it was going to be a good thing anyway. If luck was with them.

“She had me set up an appointment for an early ultrasound, but she said that’s probably what my weight gain is,” she explained with a slight shrug, reaching out to take one of her husband’s hands. Things lately seemed to be so on the fence for them, so uncertain whether they were going to continue to work together as they got older, but it seemed like maybe, this could be a fresh breath for them. A thing to bond over again, to remind them of why they loved one another in the first place.

That was what Farrah was hoping, at least, as she watched Erasmus’s face pass through the same emotions she’d had when she’d first been told. There was the plain shock, that had started right with his question. There was the nervousness, and the worry, and the outright fear. Farrah’s had been over whether she would really be a good mother, over whether she was ready to have a child, whether she and Erasmus were going to last even after they had a child together. Whether their child would grow up in a split home.

And then, slowly but definitively, came the smile she had been waiting for. Erasmus didn’t look quite as beaming as she was, yet, but he was definitely happy, and he moved his free hand over to her stomach with a low laugh. “I’m going to be a father. You’re not kidding, right?” He could never be sure with his wife. Sometimes her social experiments for the sake of journalism went too far. But the smile on his face did suggest honesty, and he couldn’t help but be a little bit excited as well.

“When is the ultrasound? Will they give you a copy of it to take home?” he started, only moments after that initial question. He hadn’t even given Farrah time to answer, and she found herself letting out another soft laugh and a nod to indicate approval of the latter question. “We’ll have to start looking at houses. We need something bigger if we’re going to have a kid. This is almost too tiny for just us, let alone another person. And you’ll have to figure out when you can take off work.”

“I really like this color for the nursery, what do you think?” (Corchette)

Tyler was looking over a ledger for the bar when Laurent spoke up, and at first, he gave nothing but a noncommittal hum. He wasn’t really listening, his husband knew. Sometimes, when he was deep in work, Laurent would start testing just how much he was listening by saying more and more outrageous things. When he started just getting hums, he knew, it was Tyler being too distracted to notice what he was talking about. Not that he minded that, of course. It was just amusing.

And so, with a slight chuckle, he moved over to his husband and slowly slid the paint chart in front of his paperwork. “I only need you for like a minute,” he promised. “I’m gonna start painting the nursery today, I think. But I want your opinion on the color. I’m thinking about this one. Gender neutral, light, something that can work for either gender, or for multiples, if we should have that kind of luck. What do you think of it?” It was a nice, pale green, barely away from white and easy to make designs over.

“I have an idea for something pretty to do for a border too, something with rainbow colored wings. And I was starting to think about a mural, but I haven’t actually thought much on that yet. I only really paint dark stuff, you know? So doing something light like this, something kid friendly… it’s a little different. Definitely not what I’m usually working with. So I’m still working it out. I’m gonna ask Papa Etienne his opinion when I see him later this week to drop off gallery pieces, but yeah. This is my start.”

Tyler was still only half listening, Laurent knew. Whenever he went off into his art talk, Tyler would let him ramble on as much as he wanted to, and he did enjoy looking at the pieces when they were finished. It was something that he had been attracted to in the first place, after all. But when he got going into the technical side of things, it went right over his head, and Laurent would lose him in moments. He didn’t mind it, of course. It was just something he knew, something he had known since the beginning.

After a minute or so of staring at the patch Laurent was pointing to, Tyler finally lifted a hand and pointed to the one above it, one that was a little more green and less white. “I think this one would be nicer,” he offered, looking up at his husband with a slight grin. “I can barely tell that one is green. This one, or the blue one right next to it. If you did the blue, you could do like, clouds and flying things, since you’re doing wings for the border. I think.” He shrugged a shoulder, dismissing his own thought. “But I like yours too.”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” (Pleione & Atlas)

Pleione was still staring at herself in the mirror, trying to decide if she looked pregnant or not, when Atlas’s voice sounded from her door, making her jump and move away from the betraying surface. It was getting hard to hide now. She had to get rid of this soon, or she was going to disappoint her parents. She didn’t even want to tell them who the father was. It was a teacher, after all, and she couldn’t risk getting him fired. Not when it was her own fault she had gotten pregnant in the first place.

With a frown, she glanced toward the open hall, and then moved both hands, one moving Atlas further into the room and the other pushing the door shut and locked. She didn’t need any of her other siblings coming around now, or her cousins for that matter, and hearing whatever conversation they were about to have. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell Atlas the truth, after all, but she had helped the other girl with her makeup and gotten her outfit better the week before… Maybe she could trust her.

But a maybe wasn’t good enough. Turning back toward the mirror, she started adjusting her shirt with silent concealing charms, making sure it hid from all angles. “I’m not pregnant,” she insisted quietly. “I’m just gaining weight or something. I don’t know what’s happening. I just don’t want to look fat when I’m going out with my friends tonight.” It almost sounded like a good lie. Almost, if it weren’t all centered in her lower belly, and if Pleione weren’t one of the more active children in the house.

Which, she knew, was why Atlas scoffed, even as she sat on the edge of her sister’s bed. “You’re not lying well,” she returned, intentionally sounding as mocking as possible. She didn’t always like Pleione, and she was sure they would never be friends, but if Pleione knew her secret, she was certainly going to have one of her own to hold over her sister. Even if it was only going to last for a short time, as it seemed she was going to be rid of what she likely thought of as a problem soon. “You didn’t answer me.”

Another frown was sent in her sister’s direction, and Pleione took a long moment before she turned back toward her. The concealing charms had done their job, at least. It was impossible to tell, even when she was walking, that there was any baby bump there at all. “I don’t know, no. And I’m not going to. By next weekend, it won’t be a problem. And that means mom and dad are never going to know it was even a question either, right?” The look was a warning, but in her eyes, Atlas could see the plea. “They don’t need to.”

“I can’t believe we’re finally going to have a baby.” (Darlingrimm)

The surprise, almost awe, in Selwyn’s voice was enough to make the smile spread back across Alexis’s face as she shifted over, settling in with her head against his chest now. It was something they had given up on, something they had tried for but failed at so many times already. Alexis had started to think something was wrong with one of them, and had considered going in for testing, until she finally got that little pink plus sign. The positive proof that she was, in fact, bearing his child.

With a soft sigh, a happy one, she hummed her agreement. “It seems like it took forever. I can’t believe I’m finally pregnant. I was starting to think it would never happen.” She glanced down briefly, when one of his hands moved from her side to rest on top of her stomach, and smiled a little wider at the sight. It was such an easy affection, but they had been trying for so long already, and to finally get the result they so desperately wanted… Well, could anyone blame her being excited?

Selwyn tilted his head up and pressed a kiss against her forehead before settling back again, letting his eyes close. “We’ll get a nursery set up once you’re past month three,” he offered. “Did the doctor say when she could get you in? You told me earlier, but I was a little too distracted to actually absorb the information.” He gave a slight, embarrassed laugh at that, shaking his head at himself. So distracted by the positive news that he hadn’t listened to the important bits that came afterward.

“Mm, day after tomorrow. She pushed me in early to make sure the test was right, and to get an initial ultrasound. If you come with me, she said we can hear the baby’s heartbeat.” Alexis was most excited about that, in all honesty. Hearing the heartbeat of the tiny, living thing inside of her, the thing that was soon going to be a baby, if things went properly. She was beyond ready to hear that already, and to get the confirmation that their child was, in fact, going to be coming sometime soon.

Of course, that didn’t explain the small knot in the pit of her stomach. The small voice inside her that warned that something could still go wrong wouldn’t be so easily silenced, after all. She wouldn’t succumb to it now, though. Now was the time for excitement, and she let it drop away with a shift up to press a kiss against Selwyn’s lips. “Do you think we can get Hal to paint some nice scripture on one of the walls of the nursery or something? For good luck and all that jazz.”

#terezilogic #michael tag #miscarriage tw #abortion tw #devmond #pyrien #farrasmus #corchette #pleione rogers #atlas rogers #darlingrimm #answered

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prouxvaire · 7 years ago

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Upstairs Bath: Finish Work and All The Swears

Progress on the upstairs bathroom is– and this is a phrase I haven’t used in conjunction with progress around the house in a long time– coming along nicely

I mean, to be honest, there is nothing nice about it… this bathroom is coming along like a gigantic pain in my ass, but it is coming along, and that’s the important part.

There have been some easy wins over the last week. I mean, I spent last Friday night inside the tub with a beer and caulk gun…

By the end of the night the tub was water-tight and I started giving some serious thought to having a working shower in this bathroom, which meant dealing with the unfinished plumbing.

Three years ago when I bought the tub (and, again, assumed this was going to be a 3 weekend project) I also bought the Delta Addison tub and shower trim kit. It came with a tub spout connector that needs to be soldered to the copper stub-out the plumbers left…

I’m mediocre at sweating pipes. Like, I can do it, but I don’t want to do it within an inch of the new surround tile with zero margin for error. Right? I’m crazy, but not I-want-to-accidentally-burn-my-house-down crazy.

Here’s how I know the idea of finishing this plumbing was stressing me out…

I woke up Saturday morning with plumbing parts in my bed.

Apparently I had a burning plumbing question at 3AM that had to be answered right then.

Also, Saturday morning I got an Amazon notification that a new coupling with a set-screw (that doesn’t need to be soldered on) had been shipped. Apparently 3AM me is very resourceful and good at problem solving.

The new coupling cost $7. So, two years ago when I had a working tub upstairs and thought I needed to bring the plumber back to install this coupling… turns out I just needed a small bout of insomnia, a $7 part, and to stop being such a wuss and start thinking about other ways to solve a problem.

Story of my life, guys.

Here’s how the install went…

I did a dry-fit first, and then cut the stub out down to size using a copper tube cutter (they’re fairly cheap, easy to use, and you can find them at most hardware stores.)

Then, put the coupling on, and tightened down the set screw…

And then screwed the tub spout on…

Yep. Took all of 3 minutes.

After the drywall patches were finished above the shower I also installed the shower head (which was just screwed in with a little Teflon tape.) And then, for the first time in 3 years, had a working shower upstairs….

And not just a working shower, but, an amazing shower. This house has mediocre water pressure, and I thought that until I fixed that (sometime in the next 20 years) it was just going to be mediocre showers from here on out, but turns out all I needed was a really good shower head.

This one is like an effing massage. (And that’s not sponsored in any way, just the gods honest truth.)

Which is all to say, my mom was right. Having this bathroom mostly functional has drastically improved my quality of life.

But, as with all good things, it did not come without a fight. And in my case that fight was with every single one of the five– yes five– separate light fixtures in this bathroom.

There’s the one that used to be in the closet I tore out, and worked briefly 3 years ago before all of the sudden dying… (Currently I’m getting no power to the switch, and have no idea why.)

Then there’s the two can lights I tried to retrofit a few years ago, but the trim doesn’t fit quite right (because why would it?)

Oh, and this thing above the shower.

I can’t even.

But the worst of all of them is this fan over the toilet.

The light hasn’t worked for the entirety of the time I’ve lived here, and just about nothing could compel me to take the cover off that light because I’ve been traumatized by getting a facefull of desiccated japanese beetles one too many times while trying to change light fixtures in this house.

Note: They taste worse than they smell.

Ugh.

But there was no way I was going to have a fully remodeled bathroom and still have that ugly fan over the toilet, so I got to it… and, first of all? There was a (luckily abandoned) wasp nest in there…

Wasps nest notwithstanding, removing the old box from the ceiling was a maddening affair. I have access to the attic so I thought this would be no big deal, but that particular part of the attic had decking installed with nails. So instead of being able to un-screw the OSB to access the fan box I had to haul two saws up to the attic to cut a hole in it.

Then I realized that because of the large space between the floors of my house and the fact the that fan was in a soffit, the box was a solid 18″ below the floor of the attic (i.e. only accessible if I laid on the floor and reached down as far as I could while my face was smashed up against a pile of what was most likely mouse poop. I don’t want to talk about it.)

After maybe 30 minutes of trying to locate the screws and/or pry the box loose I realize it had actually been NAILED into the soffit framing. Nailed. Why.

It’s been a long time since I’ve truly lost my shit in the middle of a project, so I will just say this: I only managed to remove that fan box with the liberal use of my hammer and every single swear word I know.

And, of course, in the process, tore a nice big chunk of drywall out of the ceiling that I’d just finished patching and sanding BECAUSE THIS PROJECT WILL NEVER END.

All the swear words, you guys. All of them.

But finally, finally, I got the new box up, installed the fan and the light, Flipped the switch, aaaaaand…

The light didn’t come on.

You know how this goes… take it all apart, put it all back together again, remain convinced that there will never ever be a working light fixture in this bathroom, and then, after several hours and all the new and creative ways I could combine four-letter words, I finally got the fan AND the light to turn on.

Whew.

At this point I thought it would be smooth sailing… just replace the old fixture above the shower with a new LED retrofit can light. These things are super easy to install. You just screw an adapter into the light socket, push the light up into the can, and voila! New can light. It’s as easy as changing a light bulb.

Except in my house, of course. Because the “can” wasn’t a standard 4″ can OR a standard 5″ can. It’s 4.5″. Because why not?

After some finagling I figured out how to use a 5″ retrofit LED can light (which, yes, I happened to have on hand because I hoard house-parts, apparently) but it was a pretty tight fit, and I may have been less than gentle trying to get the trim to fit into the can, and the next thing I know…

Yeah, cut a wire, popped a breaker, and for the life of me could not get the power to turn back on to this room.

If you need me, I’ll just be sitting up here in the dark for the next eternity.

Ugh. Fine. I did not sit in the dark for all eternity. I eventually stopped whining, reset all the GFI outlets and the breaker, and eventually ended up here:

It’s like the skies parted, the heavens opened up, and angels started singing. Also, 4 of the 5 lights turned on.

So for about a week I had one of the most well-lit bathrooms in the history of modern electricity… and then we got hit with an early-March snowstorm.

Which knocked out the power to the house for the last 3 days.

I mean, I’m sure the universe isn’t actually out to get me, but you know it’s also definitely getting a few laughs at my expense right now.

Here’s the good news though (other than the fact that I own a generator, which is very, very good news after 72 hours without power) the progress may be a pain in the ass, but it is coming along:

Tear out closet and patch drywall

Re-face cabinets

Level, tile, and grout floor

Tile tub surround

Patch ceiling

Move outlets and patch all drywall

Replace plumbing and install toilet

Caulk tub and toilet

Paint radiator

Paint ceiling and touch-up walls

Install baseboard

Install new light fixtures and switches

Add cabinet “feet”

Finish tub plumbing for working shower

Get and hang mirrors

Get hutch for storage

Install shelving, towel racks, etc.

Paint and re-hang door with new hardware

Another couple of weekends and it might actually be finished.

from http://ift.tt/2FWfMqn

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sureyhny · 7 years ago