#I wasn’t sure if I should have made this all one or separate post
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🏳️🌈💐 — Happy Pride yall!
Working on updating my persona.
📎 Info about bigender and previous years’ pride art below:
Hey there!
Thought I would share some information about bigender and my personal experience because there’s not a lot of posts about bigender and I think the label is pretty neat!
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What is Bigender?
Bigender is when a person experiences two or more genders either in combination or switching between the genders. It falls under the gender-nonconforming/trans umbrella.
Now you can be two or more sets of any gender in the spectrum.
For example: You can be mas/fem or nonbinary/fem or nonbinary/mas etc!
Why do I identify as bigender?
(Remember this is just my own experience and everyone who’s bigender has their own experience/reason!)
Short answer: I experience a smaller gender spectrum and identify as mas/fem only.
Long answer: Unlike genderfluid (which typically means you experience a wider gender spectrum), I only experience feeling masculine and feminine. Never really anything in between or outside. So I use the bigender label to specify that I switch between two distinct gender. I like how bigender is more specific and I’m more comfortable with it.
If I use genderfluid, I feel like I’m overwhelmed in a huge room to move around in while bigender is a perfectly size room I can move enough in. (That’s the only way I can really describe it 🤷)
What’s the flag?
There’s two popular versions. The one with a yellow stripe (middle) and the one without (right). The one on the left I won’t be covering. Just know it’s the old one that’s considered controversial.
The middle flag, as I seen around, can be seen to represent just bigender overall or for the non-binary spectrum
The right flag can be seen to represent just bigender overall too or mas/fem spectrum. I personally like this one to represent my experience.
There’s really no agreed rule so don’t feel like you have to choose one to “fit the box”. Just use whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Conclusion
If you actually read this all, thank you! I wanted to celebrate a bit of Pride Month by making this post.
This is just a small introduction of what bigender means and I highly recommend doing your own research or hear other folks’ story. Remember you can label with whatever fits or label not at all!
I don’t think the bigender label is hard to understand but if I got something wrong feel free to say. Be safe out there!
#my art#talk#I wasn’t sure if I should have made this all one or separate post#long post#information#pride#happy pride month#bisexual#bigender#bigender pride#bisexual pride#lgbtq#lgbt pride#oc#oc art#lgbtq pride
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HANAMUSA (JESSIExDELIA) MASTER POST
I probably should have started doing this forever ago but I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna stick with drawing these comics. But I guess we’re in it now! This will be continually updated~ EVERYTHING UNDER THE CUT
BEFORE YOU START:
This post is required reading about Team Rocket’s ages since that’s usually a question that comes up a lot LOL. As for Delia’s age, she is said to be 29 in Takeshi Shudo’s (original writer on Pokémon) novel that built out the world and characters of the anime.
Next, I feel like this chart helps give the vibe of what these characters relationship is (all just headcanons except for their names and ages)!
WHERE TO START:
Here’s a post I made detailing how Jessie, James and Meowth initially start living with Delia. It also goes into what each character does in this AU. Before going into the post, you might enjoy this fanfic my girlfriend commissioned! It’s based off of said post and is a more enjoyable read.
Here’s also a list of headcanons!
COMICS:
Here’s all the comics I’ve done! The order of most of them are pretty ambiguous and up in the air but I put them in the order I kinda see in my head! There are some that do take place before Jessie and Delia start dating though! Also a few comics that have several parts but the “next” and “prev” links will be in each comic. So I’ll only link the first part of those ones in this masterpost.
Pre-Relationship
Fast Food
Ophidiophobia
Boss 🌟NEW🌟
Whipped
Making Eyes
Hairbrush
Inquiries
Separated
First Kiss
Dating
Big Bed
Tattoo
Crumbs
Pet Clown
I’d Like To
Jessica
Lipstick (not a comic but some fun extra dialogue for this)
Glow
Sleeptalking
Official
Early Relationship
Stare Down
Shovel Talk
Invisible Walls
Date Help
Date Night
Face Blind
One Motto Away
Babygirl
Snowgasboard
Delia’s Got a Cold
Mr. Jessie Ketchum
Peek-At-Chu
Hands Off Pikachu!
Wine Nights with James
Beauty and the Beach
Turning Point Arc
Sunscreen
Where Do Babies Come From
Head Scritches
Love Life
Ugly
Ace Trainers
Pikasitting
During Relationship
Mother’s Day
Father’s Day
Gift for Delia
Gift for Jessie
Jessilina Fan
Crossdressing
Type
Hickeys
Journey Arc
Tone
Cooking Twerp
Son
Cooking Advice
Serperior Facts
Cassidy’s Cabin Arc
Father/Son Bonding
Worry ��NEW🌟
Later in Relationship
Uniform
Paparazzi
One Upping 🌟NEW🌟
Hand-Me-Downs
Glasses
Study Help
Happy Valentine’s Day
Wrapped
Daddy Daughter Double Battle
Splinter
Married Life
Wedding
Arbok/Weezing Reunion
Snake Eyes
FAQ:
There's a hanamusa section in my FAQ!
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I Despise You ༊*·˚
18+ MDNI !!!
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Fem!Reader / You
Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 1 - Angry Sex. Reader is the Head Girl and Riddle is the Head Boy, Riddle likes to push Reader's boundaries until it all boils over. Minimal plot but a smidge anyway.
Tags: Angry sex, P in V, Fingering (fem receiving), Unprotected sex, Magic as birth control, Enemies with benefits, Arguing (which is badly written oops), Attempt at angst, Tiny bit of sexism from Riddle, Reader is wearing a dress (I imagined one of those Sabrina Carpenter babydoll dresses lol), Head boy Riddle, Head girl Reader, Historical inaccuracy.
Word count: 3.4k
all fandom masterlist | hp masterlist | read it on ao3
Authors note: First installment of Kinktober and first post on tumblr!! woo!! please show me some love if you like it!! I am terrible at writing arguments because I hate confrontation irl oops!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡
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Being appointed as Head Girl was supposed to be the best thing to ever happen to you. You’d been working toward it since at least the third year and it was all you ever seemed to hope for. It was meant to be an achievement that you and your friends would all celebrate, perhaps head down to the Three Broomsticks and spoil you with free drinks for the night in honour of your achievement. But, life wasn’t so kind.
When your position as Head Girl was announced all you had received from your friends were pitying looks, all due to the pesky little detail of who had been announced as Head Boy to serve alongside you. Tom Riddle. Tom. Fucking. Riddle. Of course, Professor Dippett had had to announce his name first, meaning you hadn’t even gotten a second of enjoyment from your appointment. He had stood up smugly at the Slytherin table, basking in the cheers from his house, flashing a charming smile to the room as he made his way to the front of the hall. For the first time in your life, at that moment, you had prayed that Head Girl would not be you. It was. Your name was called, your house applauded and your legs carried you over to Riddle’s side. He grinned down at you, that little glint of mockery in his eye that you could only see from this close. You wanted to punch him, that would surely lose you the Head Girl position and solve this problem, but you had your future to think of. You had repeated that to yourself all that night as you and Riddle had been whisked off to the staff room to be briefed on your positions and given your badges. Riddle was the picture of charm, laughing with the various professors that came to speak with you, you just sat there, smiling falsely, looking a little like you’d just been hit over the head with a plank. You felt like it too. Your lifelong dream had just been turned into something poisonous. Really, you thought to yourself as Slughorn guided you through the corridors to the Head’s quarters, you should have seen this coming. They weren’t supposed to appoint two students from the same house, so logically, if you were picked for Head Girl, it was only ever going to be Riddle at your side. You wondered why you hadn’t considered this before, it was so obvious with hindsight. You scowled at the back of his and Slughorn’s heads as you ascended some stairs, them chatting together jovially, making your blood boil.
Slughorn shows you the small common room, enough seating for about four people, a fireplace, and a little kitchenette with some stools, decorated with opulence. It would all have been very nice if it hadn’t been for Riddle standing there commenting on the lovely brass crests. The separate rooms were your biggest comfort, both off of little halls from the common room in different directions. You could hide in there from him, you told yourself over and over. You didn’t have the headspace to be impressed by the beautiful ensuites with golden-tapped baths, just wanting Slughorn to leave so you would no longer have to listen to Riddle’s disgustingly smooth voice. Eventually, Slughorn did leave the two of you to go to bed. As he shut the common room door, you could see Riddle’s mouth opening from the corner of your eye. You darted to your room before he could get the words out, slamming the door, relieved to find all your things already there. You collapsed onto the bed and sighed. The nightmare was only beginning.
The hands on the clock point to 3:30 am. It’s a Monday morning, you have a meeting with Dumbledore in just a few hours, but sleep is impossible. He has friends over again. The deep bass of their voices reverberates through the walls of the common room. They’re chatting and laughing like always, most likely drinking too, you’ve spotted them with whiskey a few times. You seethe with anger in your bed, just last week you had kindly approached him, and not for the first time, about this issue. You had emphatically asked him to be considerate of you and your time. He had placated you like always.
“Yes darling, I didn’t realise we were being so bothersome, won’t happen again,” he had soothed, but of course, it was happening again right now. You kept somehow getting caught in his charms, the very ones you had been immune to for so long. It had to be the sleep deprivation he was causing, that was what was making you melt a little whenever he called you darling or smiled just so, in the way that used to make you feel sick. In the dark of your room, you lie on your side and curse inwardly. Reporting him had crossed your mind many times, but you knew he would just charm his way out of it, like he did with everything. Your ears rumble with another deep laugh from the group of men in the other room and you’ve had enough. Throwing off your duvet and stomping to your bedroom door, you fling it open and head into the common room. He sits reclined leisurely in an armchair by the fireplace, his sleeves rolled up and tie loose. His ankles are crossed, resting on the coffee table in front of him, he chuckles at something, you couldn’t care less what, the firelight dancing over his face. He hasn’t noticed you, but across from him on the opposite armchair, his friend, Avery, straightens up and grins at you. His eyes drift over you, you realise instantly that you stomped out here in only your nightgown and socks and flush lightly, but stand your ground.
“Riddle!” you bark, surprising even yourself with the viciousness of your tone. This brings his attention to you effectively. His other two friends turn to look at you over the back of the sofa, Riddle doesn’t even straighten up when he looks up at you, smirking in a self-satisfied way that makes your insides twist oddly.
“Hello darling,” he speaks smoothly. “You look a picture tonight,” he lets his eyes drift up and down your figure without shame. You go red with anger and embarrassment.
“Doesn't she just?” One of his friends, Rosier, comments with a mocking chuckle. This sets you off.
“Out!” You screech. All the boys look taken aback by the intensity of your outburst. “Out, out, out!”
“Fine,” Riddle hisses in an infuriatingly calm tone. “You lot should go, you heard the Head Girl,” you hear the mocking tone in his voice, suggesting he thinks you’re hysterical. You stand there with your fists clenched, staring the men down as they get up and head for the door, feeling ridiculous but not wanting to show any weakness. Once they all leave and shut the door behind them, the two of you fall into silence for a moment. He’s watching you, but not in the leering way from earlier, he almost looks impressed with you. You avert your eyes from the closed door onto his face, he’s leaning forward now, with his elbows on his knees. Just when you’re considering simply turning to leave, he speaks up. “Happy now, darling? You’re really no fun, we were only talking,” his eyes fix on yours, burning deeply. You scoff indignantly.
“It’s nearly 4 am Riddle, you know I have a meeting in the morning, I have brought this up to you countless times and–”
“Yes, but you don’t seem to understand that I simply don’t care to keep you happy, darling,” he grins. You let out a frustrated yelp.
“You are unbelievable! How were you ever chosen for Head Boy when you're this insidious? You don’t deserve it!” You snap. This stirs something in him. His eyes darken and he stands up from the armchair.
“And you do, do you darling?” he asks slowly, stalking toward you. “You’re the picture of perfection, aren’t you just?” You’re not sure what to say to this, any answer seems wrong like it’ll give him reason to dig into you further. Your mouth opens and shuts for a moment before you settle on a shrug. Your hands flex in the fists they’re tightened into as a smirk spreads over his face. “You don’t seem so high and mighty from here,” he chuckles, stopping in front of you. He has several inches on you and you’re forced to look up at him. “You look lovely in this little nightie,” he comments with a grin, reaching out to trace the lace at the strap with the tip of his finger. You jolt away instantly, glaring up at him.
“Don’t you dare touch me! And don’t you dare comment on my looks!” You hissed, smacking his hand away. His eyes darken even more at this.
“And don’t you dare smack me,” he growls. “I was merely paying you a compliment,”
“Like hell you were!” You scoff. “You’re trying to make me feel small,” he rolls his eyes, shaking his head.
“If the shoe fits,” he grins. You scowl, shoving at him without thinking about it. He stumbles back slightly, looking momentarily bewildered. When he realises what you just did he surges for you. He grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you into the wall. You let out a small oof sound as you collide with the wall, surprised it didn’t hurt more than it did. For a moment, you wonder if he had avoided hurting you until you look up and see the fire in his eyes, then you wonder if he wishes he had just killed you. “I would have rather had literally anyone as Head Girl than you, you are the bane of my existence,” he snarls, gripping your shoulders hard.
“I’m the bane of your existence? I don’t have friends over until the small hours of the morning! Imagine how I feel!” You spit back. You can tell he’s barely listening to you.
“You are insufferable! You’re the only person who doesn’t fawn over the sight of me and it’s you that I get stuck with for the whole year!” he scoffs. “I will not let you control my lifestyle!” he adds angrily. “I will not bend my life to make you happy! I am not subservient to anyone and I never will be!” you roll your eyes exaggeratedly.
“You are ridiculous,”
“I despise you,” he hisses venomously. “You’re always everywhere I am, you’re always following me around, tailing me in every subject, you had to go for this position when I’ve had my sights locked on it since first year!” He pushes you back into the wall again. “Are you happy now darling? You got Head Girl and now we’re both miserable! You must be thrilled!”
“You think I’m following you around?” you sneer. “How full of yourself are you that you think me going for Head Girl was about you? You seem to think you’re the centre of everything, but in my life Riddle, you are just an inconvenience, you are nothing,” you seethed. Something flashes in Riddle’s eyes, his jaw working.
“I am nothing?” he demands. “I am nothing?” he’s shaking now and you’re sure he’s about to hex you or punch you, his eyes flick between yours, his whole body coiled tight and ready to pounce. Instead, his lips are suddenly on yours, thrusting your head back against the wall. You yelp in surprise, your eyes wide, the back of your head hurting from being pressed into the hard surface. He kisses you without a single hint of affection, kissing you like it’s a punishment, a way of muzzling you, but Merlin, somehow it feels good. He’s grabbing at you, taking fistfuls of your nightgown in his hands. You find that you’re kissing him back, that you have been practically since his lips met yours and that you’re doing so eagerly. Your head is spinning as his arms wrap around you and he pulls you harshly to him, the hard planes of his lean body pressing against you. Your arms snake around his neck and he lets you yank at his hair. He’s kissing you so hard that you’re practically tipping backwards. Your tongues rub against each other as you kiss frantically. He’s leading you to the sofa, throwing you down and then settling above you. He props himself up, his hands on either side of your head. You both take this moment to catch your breaths, staring intensely at each other as your chests rise and fall rapidly. “Am I still nothing?” he growls, a little breathless. Once again, you don’t know what the right thing to say is. One of his hands moves down and starts to push up the hem of your nightdress, revealing your thighs to his devouring eyes. You grab him and kiss him again instead of talking, just as hard and unforgiving as before.
You feel your nightdress being bunched at your waist and hear the faint sound of a zip being pulled down. You kiss him harder, nipping at his bottom lip harshly and scrunching your eyes shut. He just groans in response, pushing down his slacks haphazardly, his other hand keeping him propped up above you. You’re suddenly awfully overheated, both from lying on the sofa in front of the blazing fireplace and from the realisation of what he’s planning to do to you. Are you really going to do this? Are you really going to let him fuck you on the sofa in the common room? Riddle? The man you’ve hated for years? The man who has been deliberately antagonising you for the past several weeks, and especially tonight? Your hands are resting on his stomach, and you connect the dots in mild horror that you’ve been unbuttoning his shirt without even realising it. You feel completely out of control of yourself, you’ve never acted this way before. You gasp in surprise when you feel his fingers pressing against your core through the fabric of your underwear. His fingers rub roughly, sending jolts of pain and pleasure through you. You whine slightly, feeling him smirk against your lips. You scratch at his chest a little in retaliation. He grunts, you can’t tell if he likes it or not and it bothers you. His fingers hook into your underwear and start to tug down. This is your last chance to back out, to throw him off of you and run away, but you find yourself unable to do anything but writhe and cling to his shoulders. The underwear is discarded on the floor and he is using his free hand to spread your thighs open, you flush deeply as he pulls away from the kiss to look down at you. You can feel how wet you are and you hate that, based on the smug little grin on his face, he knows it too. Your cheeks are burning as he reaches down, using two fingers to spread your folds. He lets out a needy sound by accident and it’s your turn to gloat. He flashes you a glare and plunges a finger into your tight heat in revenge. This makes your back arch and your lips part and he smirks back at you.
“So wet…” he comments, self-satisfied, his finger creating obscene squelches as he pumps it in and out of you slowly. You snarl at him, lashing out in embarrassment. You grab at the tent in his boxers, feeling him rock-hard under the fabric. He frowns in embarrassment, withdrawing his finger from you which makes you whimper a little. “You’re asking for it now, darling,” he growls. He’s scrambling to rid himself of his boxers. His tip is quickly prodding at your entrance and you gasp and arch slightly. He glides against you for a moment, his tip rubbing deliciously at your clit, seeming like he’s waiting for something. Then, he’s plunging into you. You let out a pathetic little cry and he grins. “Does that feel good?” he coos mockingly as he fully seats himself inside you. You both gasp for breath as your tight heat embraces him. It does feel good, torturously so, but his mocking tone irks you.
“I hate you,” you growl up at him as he lowers himself onto his elbows, his face right above yours. He scowls, panting slightly.
“I hate you too, believe me,” his arms wrap around your shoulders, keeping you in place. He buries his face in your neck and starts to nip as his hips begin to rock harshly. His thrusts are hard and punishing, slow, withdrawing almost completely and then slamming forward, just short of painful. You whine and grab at his back, letting your nails dig into him, he doesn’t seem to mind. He speeds up, grunting loudly against your neck. He pulls back to watch as you move along with his thrusts, your eyes scrunched shut and lips parted with desperate whines. He pants, his hot breaths washing over your face. He speeds up even more, growling like a crazed animal. “Look at you, falling apart under me, what would your friends think?” he taunts. Your eyes squeeze tighter shut, a wave of shame passing through you that somehow heightens your pleasure.
“Shut the fuck up,” you whine. You hear him laughing mockingly. You muster your strength and clench your walls around him. His laugh morphs into a choked groan at the sensation, his hips stuttering. He was more affected by this than you expected, his pace now brutal as he fucks into you, clearly desperately chasing release now, rather than focusing on playing mind games on you. His lips meet yours again and you kiss back. It’s clumsy and sloppy, given how fast he’s moving, but it just heightens everything you’re feeling. “You gonna come already?” you mock as you feel him faltering in his thrusts. He groans angrily against your lips.
“I despise you,” he hisses shakily, propping himself back up so he can thrust into you more relentlessly. You return the sentiment, but it’s a little half-hearted now between whines. You cry out when you feel his thumb on your clit, rubbing hard. He seems oddly determined to have you orgasm before he does, perhaps to humiliate you, but it feels so good that you can hardly complain. He grunts loudly, you can tell he’s trying to goad you, but his speech is incoherent between sounds of pleasure and the slapping of skin against skin. You feel it building up and you can’t deny yourself the pleasure, you don’t try to hold back. However, he still falls apart first. His hips stutter then stop entirely and he groans loudly, you feel his seed spilling deep into you, warm ropes painting your inside. His thumb doesn’t let up its rubbing and it allows you to also reach your release. You pulse around his oversensitive cock and he gasps and whines pathetically, but continues rubbing you through it until all the aftershocks are over.
He remains propped above you, catching his breath for a while, his head hung low. You both whine slightly as he withdraws from you slowly, leaving you with a pop. He takes a shaky breath, staring at his essence that trickles out of you. You just stare at the ceiling, unsure what to do now. You feel the sofa dip as he reaches down to the floor, his chest touching yours as he lowers himself gently. He grabs his wand from his trouser pocket and props back up. He mumbles a spell, cleaning you of his essence and eliminating the chance of pregnancy. It pleases you a little that he took care of it, rather than leaving it up to you. He moves, sitting back on his haunches between your legs, lowering the hem of your nightdress to cover you back up. You stare at each other silently for a moment as he tucks himself away.
“This changes nothing between us,” he asserts, narrowing his eyes at you. You want to laugh at that, as clearly everything has just changed in some way, but you know what he means.
“Yeah, it changes nothing,” you repeat with a sigh. He glances over at the fireplace for a moment, before his eyes flick to the clock on the mantelpiece.
“Now chop chop, don’t you have that meeting with Dumbledore?” he grins. Your eyes widen and then you kick at him in frustration, realising what he’s done. He just laughs. “You better figure out a way to cover those hickeys quickly,” he smirks. You whine indignantly, burying your head in your hands.
“I’m going to kill you!”
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xoxoxo
#tom riddle#tom riddle smut#tom riddle x reader#tom marvolo riddle#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle x you#harry potter#harry potter smut#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys x you#tom riddle one shot#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#hogwarts smut#enemies to lovers#smut#kinktober#kinktober 2024#angry sex#hate sex#first post#tom riddle era#angst#voldemort#voldemort x reader#tom riddle kinktober#harry potter kinktober#tom riddle x reader smut
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An Experiment in Desire
Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader
Rating: E (EXPLICIT - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)
Warnings: Explicit sex, takes place in a brothel
Word count: About 2k
Synopsis: You find yourself in a brothel and have an unexpected encounter with the one eyed prince.
Author’s note: So uh... that brothel scene in the last episode really did a number on me,,, this is the filthiest thing I've ever written and I make no apologies thanks @arcielee for the inspo! and also i borrowed this beautiful gif from @aegonx i hope that's okay!!
I do not have a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on! Here's the link to my Aemond Masterlist if you want to check out my other stories! Also my requests are open, please send me some more!!
You weren’t quite sure how you found yourself in this particular predicament. Despite your loud and frequent complaints throughout the night, you had none to voice now.
It was a night out with your friends to celebrate the impending marriage of the loudest of your friend group to the baker’s boy. It was a good match, you were happy for her, she liked him well enough and he would be able to provide for her, which was as much as anyone could ask as smallfolk in King’s Landing.
What you did object to however, was when the group decided that leaving the tavern, after entirely too many rounds of surprisingly strong beer, and heading to a brothel was a good idea.
She had expressed nerves about her wedding night, and some of the others in your party overruled your protests and decided that bringing her to a brothel so she could ‘at least see what it’s all about’ was the perfect idea.
You needed no such education, having laid with a man once before, well the word man was a stretch, it was a couple of years ago and he was a boy not much older than you who worked in the stables of the Red Keep. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it had been sufficient, and your interest in sex had decreased since then.
Now, you wondered if you had been wrong to not explore other options. The dark rooms were filled with incense, curtains, and moans of ecstacy. Many fornicators weren’t even hidden by curtains, but were completely out in the open for any and all to see.
Your friends gasped and giggled, watching and whispering as a woman on her knees choked on a man’s cock. You were surprised that she seemed to be enjoying it, and it made you wonder if it was something you would enjoy too.
A hand slipped into yours and you let your friends tug you along, this time you bit your lip to withhold your gasp as a man licked and feasted on a woman’s cunt. This was something you knew immediately you would enjoy, as a rush of heat filled you and you felt the desire to not just observe anymore, but to participate.
There was a bit of commotion as a group of loud men filtered into the room and in an effort to get out of their way as the silver haired leader of the group stumbled through yanking back curtains in search for someone- your hand slipped from your friend’s and you were separated from your group.
One of the men in the group slapped your ass, which startled you so much you stumbled back and pressed yourself against a wall in order to get away from the rowdy intruders.
Some of the crowd paused their copulation, to look at the disruption and there were whispers.
“What did you say?” you asked the unclothed woman walking past you.
“That’s the king,” she replied. Then she looked you up and down, an innuendo in her eyes, and held out a beckoning hand to you. It took all your self control not to slip your hand in hers and follow her anywhere.
Instead you politely declined with a small shake of your head, and she shrugged and continued on. You stuck to your post guarding the wall, and wondered where your friends had drifted off to.
You decided you should wander into one of the adjoining rooms to find them, when a man stomped out of the enclosed curtained area the king and his man had gone into.
The man was completely nude, that was the first thing you noticed. It was difficult not to notice. He was difficult not to notice. He looked like a carved statue, long hard planes of muscle everywhere on his tall form. Long flowing silver hair and an eye of sapphire also caught your eye.
You heard him mutter something to the king, “One whore is as good as another.” The king laughed, but Prince Aemond seemed to shake with anger.
His presence was intoxicating and you couldn’t look away, especially not when he noticed your attention, and looked directly at you.
You suddenly forgot how to breathe, how to stand, how to blink as he pinned you within his intense gaze. He stopped his stride as he approached you, standing closer than would ever be considered appropriate for a stranger, and looked you up and down.
You resisted the urge to squirm as the nude prince dragged his gaze up your body and made you feel laid bare.
He held a hand out to you, “Come with me.”
Your pulse jumped and your hand itched to slip into his.
“My prince, I am not a whore. I am here with friends…”
He pursed his lips, “Even better. And you appear to be alone. Will you come with me or not?”
His voice was rough with an unnamed emotion and you wanted to please him, to be the reason for relief from his torment, and you threw all caution to the wind.
You placed your hand in his, his callouses scraping against your own, and you shivered as he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, as if you were a proper lady and not the bastard daughter of a blacksmith. As if this were a courtship, not a fuck between strangers in a brothel.
He then slipped his hand across your back and down to your waist and led you out of the large room filled with others. You were quiet, but the same could not be said of the pounding of your heart as a prince of the realm led you to a room with a door.
“What is your name?” he asked as he shut the door behind him, sealing the two of you alone in a small room with only a desk and chair within it.
You answered and when he murmured your name back to you, your breath caught in your throat.
“My Prince,” you breathed out as he took a step towards you.
“Aemond,” he corrected.
“Aemond, this is out of character for me, I-“
He raised his brow at you, and you acted rashly, fearing you were losing him, this opportunity, and decided not to talk anymore, and practically threw yourself at him.
He groaned as his lips met yours, and as he stepped forward to meet you, your bodies collided and he guided you back a few steps until your back hit the wall.
His tongue was inside your mouth and it was better than any kiss you’d ever had. He moved it with expertise that made your clit throb and you wondered if he would indeed want to use that tongue in other places.
You realized there was nothing preventing you from touching him, not a single scrap of clothing, and so you let your hands explore. Down from his muscled chest, to his toned abs, lower…
Aemond gasped in your mouth as your hand grazed his now hardening length. Your hand
continued its journey, cupping his balls and he ripped his lips from yours, a wild look in his eye. Before you could blink, he was ripping the clothes off you, baring you completely.
You had half a second of feeling insecure as he took a step back and surveyed your naked form, before the prince murmured, “Perfect.”
His lips and body crashed into you again, your back slamming into the wall, but you didn’t care, didn’t care, didn’t care as his bare skin brushed against yours, as all your curves pressed into his firm muscle, as his cock pressed against you, begging for attention.
And as you reached a hand between your bodies to once again touch him, his lips pulled from
yours and he looked you in the eyes as his hand followed the same journey as your own.
He ran a hand from the side of your throat, down your breast, taking a moment to gently squeeze and fondle which had you gasping. His thumb circled your nipple as your hand gripped his hard
cock.
You both moaned in tandem at the action, and then his hand drifted lower, lower, and lower still, until his large hand cupped your mound and found you soaked beyond belief.
He groaned as those nimble fingers spread your lips and explored your soaked cunt, quickly finding your clit, just as you rubbed your thumb across the sensitive underside of cock.
“Fuck,” you panted as you both pleasured one another with your hands. You gripped and pumped his cock as you stared into his lust blown gaze.
This, you’d never felt so wanted, so attractive, so powerful as when you held a prince
of the realm’s pleasure in your hand.
His fingers drifted, and with a smirk, he plunged two inside you. You gasped, pleasure unlike
any other as your cunt squeezed him.
And you could see that release was barreling towards you both, you knew he could tell the same as he batted your hand from him, yanked his hand out of you, and pressed you back against the wall.
His lips were on you again, consuming you, as he lifted you up, using the leverage of the wall and you followed his lead as you wrapped your legs around his trim waist.
His tongue tangled with your own as he plunged his cock inside you.
His impressive length hit you deeper than you’d ever experienced before and you let out a whine. He chuckled, a cocky sound, and gripped the flesh of your hips tightly as he began thrusting in and out.
You let your head fall back against the wall as you submitted to the waves of pleasure he brought you.
His lips pressed against your throat, his
tongue and teeth, taking turns to make you whine as he continued to thrust inside you, his tempo hard and punishing and rough and everything you needed. You tried to grind down on him, to meet his thrusts, but he growled and gripped you tighter, pressed you harder against the wall, and you submitted control to him completely and let him use you.
One hand tangled in his hair, the other gripped any muscle you could find, as his lips traveled down your throat to your breasts.
As he licked and sucked your nipple, his cock hit the deepest part of you, and his groin ground against your clit, you shattered completely.
You practically screamed his name as you came harder than you’d ever experienced before.
This only encouraged him, and his grip on you tightened, you knew you would have bruises tomorrow, and you clenched down his cock as his thrusts increased in pace and intensity. The unholy squelching sound as he pounded inside you was music to your ears, you had no room to be bashful, not as you felt full, deliciously so.
The frames on the wall shook as he pounded into you, and just as he was about to reach ecstasy, he pulled out of you and put you back on your own two feet.
You watched as the prince touched himself, that large hand gripping his even larger cock, and your cunt throbbed at the sight. He moaned as his come splattered all across your stomach and breasts.
You both watched each other, panting, coming down from unbelievable heights. You looked at his beautiful form and thought he was carved by the gods.
He lifted your head with a finger under your chin, and as you met his gaze once more, and he pressed a swift kiss to your lips.
“Perhaps we’ll meet again,” he murmured. Then he dropped his hand from your face, turned and left the room.
You stood there, alone, completely naked, and covered in a royal come and wondered how you found yourself in this situation, but also hoped it could someday be repeated.
#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond targaryen x female!reader#hotd#aemond targaryen smut#aemond
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something’s missing. — Lee Donghyuck
PAIRING. haechan x fem reader
GENRE. smut
WARNINGS. blackmailing, dubcon themes, unprotected sex, crying, slapping, oral, degradation, forced breeding, stalking of socials, non-consented recording. big d!ck haechan agenda.
WC. 2.1K
A/N: miss the dreamies so bad it got me writing again😪 please enjoy this smut that i’ve been working on for a while that only @2cupids has known about LOL. feedback is so highly appreciated it’s been so long!! proof read but not rly oops. hope you enjoy:’)
Haechan scoffed when he viewed your story. Jealousy washing over his body when he saw you kissing another man on the cheek. the caption reading happy one month with a pink heart emoji. “Unbelievable” he mumbled to himself, tossing his phone. Surely you were only posting that to make him upset right?
You and haechan parted ways a long time ago. Two years ago to be exact haechan still believing you loved him and only moved on to get a reaction out of him. Which.. wasn’t true. You stopped worrying about haechan the day you two broke up. Threatening to get a restraining order made him back off a little, giving you the chance to call the quits. Haechan tried to rationalize with you saying he couldn’t live without you and wanted to remain good friends even if you two weren’t together anymore. You were easy to manipulate though that quickly came to an end.
Your ‘friendship’ lasted maybe a good week before you stopped returning his phone calls and blocked him on everything. Now here you are two years later in a happy relationship, new friends, and even a better job. Haechan hasn’t even crossed your mind since you’ve been with Jake, finally feeling safe in a relationship for once.
Haechan on the other hand still kept tabs on you. Though you blocked him and all his friends he still had an old burner account he used to stalk your socials. He was happy to see you happy but hated that it wasn’t him being there for you and all your new accomplishments. He hated seeing you under another man. He hated that you were purposely posting all this to make him jealous. To make him react this way.
He shakes his head, smacking his dry lips together, how could you just move on that easily?
Haechan had to think of a way to get you back into his life again.
You laid your head on your boyfriend's chest as you slowly began to drift off to sleep. Your phone buzzed ignoring the first two times it went off getting up to check it the third time it buzzed. The number that texted you was a number you didn't save or recognize, figuring someone just had the wrong number. Your eyes went wide at the three video attachments of you fucking haechan and giving him head. ‘Why does he still have these?’ You asked yourself. Your heart sank at the following messages. He found you yet again.
Unknown: Remember these?
Unknown: Oh how I miss you and your tongue. I still watch these videos to get myself off
Unknown: come on y/n don’t ignore me :((
Unknown: maybe i should send these videos to jake huh? show him how much fun we used to have.
You froze at the text.. How did he know who Jake was?
You: please delete those videos haechan. seriously please
Unknown: look who finally decided to reply!
Unknown: come over and maybe i’ll consider deleting
You: please don’t do this again. just delete them and we both can go our separate ways donghyuck.
Unknown: either you come over or i send it to him. your call
Haechan smiled to himself when you texted you were on the way. He was going to make you his again.
Haechan decided to tidy up the place before your arrival, spraying some cheap air freshener in his living room to make his apartment seem more comfortable. He wanted seeing you again to be memorable, setting up a camera in the far left corner in his living room hiding it good enough so you wouldn’t see. His hands felt sweaty and his heart rate was increasing, butterflies filling his tummy. He couldn’t believe he was actually about to see you, a grin slowly creeping on his face.
You had a horrible feeling about how this whole thing was going to go. Haechan never takes no for an answer and you had a gut feeling it was going to take everything in you to get him to delete those old videos. The pit of your stomach began to drop when you arrived at his apartment. Horrible flashbacks started playing in the back of your head when you parked your car. let’s just get this over with you thought to yourself as you approached Haechan’s door.
It’s like he could feel your presence at the door opening it before you even knocked. He smiled, “hi”
“hey..” you mumbled under your breath barely looking at him.
Haechan opened the door wider welcoming you in. Everything was still the same.. the exact same. Same old raggedy furniture that he should’ve thrown away years ago. Even your old pictures of the two of you were hanging on the wall. All the memories between you two begin to flood your mind and you need to get haechan to delete these videos so you could leave and never think about him again.
“Come sit,” Haechan patted his thigh, that shit eating grin resting on his lips. You didn’t want to upset or trigger anything obeying everything he asked you to do. You sat on his knee, hands resting uncomfortably in your lap. “So tell me what’s been new? How are things with your little boyfriend?” he asked, moving your hair out of your face to see you better, making you close your eyes at his touch. “Things are okay...”
“Just okay?” he asked emphasizing on ‘just’
“things are good..” you corrected yourself trying to shift off his lap a bit haechan pulling you closer to him squeezing your thigh. “Why are you trying to run away from me?” He asked with a slight pout to his lips
“Haechan.. please” your voice was barely above a whisper refusing to make eye contact with him. “I just want you to delete the videos so we can go our separate ways again”
“Come on, you don’t miss me?” you didn’t reply quick enough for his liking making haechan pull you all the way onto his lap a gasp leaving your lips as you now straddled him.
“Haechan” you called softly “ohh now you can hear me” he let out a teasing laugh rubbing his hands up and down your thigh.
“please..” you begged once again. Haechan rubbed your cheek so softly and sweet like he actually cared about anything you were asking him for. He reached in the front of his pocket pulling his phone out unlocking it and showing you his messages. The video of you two already loaded up to be sent to jake. All it took was one press.
“Haechan please stop” you cry, “i’ll do anything!” you blurted out reaching for the phone.
Haechan locked it and looked down at you. And there it was. He knew you were gonna eventually give in.
He rests his arms on the couch looking at your head tilted to the side. “Get on your knees”
You hesitated getting off his lap kneeling between his spread legs. Your hands were shaking unbuckling his jeans only pulling his pants down far enough to free his cock. Haechan hisses at the cool air hitting his tip dripping in pre-cum. your lips glide over his length trying your best to fit him in your mouth. bobbing your head back and forth gently Haechan getting impatient with this little act you were putting up. You’ve sucked his dick plenty of times. Why are you acting like you don’t know what you are doing?
He grabbed a fistful of your hair making you yelp “Are you trying to piss me off huh?” he slapped you across the face making you close your eyes from the sting.
You shook your head no. “I can’t hear you” he slaps you again, a tear falling down your cheek. “no..” you sniffled.
“Then do it right” he pushed your head back down onto his cock doing the work for you.
“fuck” he mumbled under his breath pushing your face all the way down on his cock almost cumming on the spot watching you gag. You pinched at his thigh trying to get him to let go so you could breathe but Haechan didn’t care. He just wanted to get his dick wet by his favorite girl.
He finally pulled you up smirking at the way you gasped for air. He let out a moan at the sight of you. Drool and spit dripping down your chin and chest. Eyes filled with tears. He loved seeing you all messy like this. He swore his cock got harder from you crying. For him it was his favorite site. He grabbed you by the jaw guiding you back to his lap.
“Sit on it” you sniffled again wanting to tell him no but couldn’t risk making him more upset. Taking a step back to take your shorts and panties off. You align his cock up with your entrance gripping onto his shoulders to help steady yourself. Haechan surprisingly lets you take your time easing down on his cock the stretch feeling unbelievable.
Haechan let out a sigh when you finally sat all the way. Hands gripping your hips “still so fucking tight— shit”
“y/n— you gotta move or fuck— i’ll fuck up into you” you let your hands rest on his shoulder slowly beginning to bouce up and down.
“it hurts.. you’re too big” you mumbled in between sobs.
“Jake doesn’t fill you up this well does he baby?” you close your eyes at the mention of Jake. Feeling completely horrible for even doing this.
“You missed me didn’t you?” Haechan asked, thrusting up into you watching the way you bite your lip to hold back your moan.
your legs were growing weak and you felt like you could cum in any second. You wanted to keep your eyes closed but couldn’t help but look at the way haechan was so into it. His head was thrown back resting against the couch as he helped you bounce on his big cock. Lip snuck between his teeth watching the way his cock goes in and out of your sweet cunt.
“it’s so big,” you whimpered. “I know baby” Haechan cooed wiping at your tears.
“missed you and this pretty fucking pussy so much” he shook his head, “can’t believe you stayed this tight”
you tried to ignore his words grabbing at his shoulders so hard you were sure he’ll have marks in the morning.
“so pathetic your boyfriend can’t get you off the way i can”
“stop” you managed to mumble out. “What's wrong? don’t like it when i talk about your sweet boyfriend?” he teased.
“How do you think he’ll feel if he saw you right now? Whoring yourself out like this for me?” the tears wouldn’t stop. You hid your face in his shoulder begging him to stop bringing Jake up.
He let out a laugh at the way you hid yourself rubbing circles in your clit. “Haechan please.. stop” you weren’t even sure if you were letting out real words anymore. Your head was dizzy and full off of being a shitty girlfriend and Haechan.
“You’re so fucking close i know you” he laughed. “Cumming from the thought of your boyfriend seeing us fuck hm? Pretty fucked up way of thinking huh pretty girl?” The tears wouldn’t stop still hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
“you’re only crying because you feel bad for enjoying this” you begin to sob harder because he’s right.
You didn’t miss haechan and you didn’t miss your relationship but you missed this. The sex life. His big cock that he only enjoyed abusing on you. You love Jake and everything about him but you knew for a fact he wouldn’t fill you up the way Haechan is right now.
“Gonna cum in you” Haechan groaned, closing his eyes shut. You jolted up at his words telling him no.
“Gonna cum in your sweet cunt” Haechan moaned again ignoring your first protest.
“Haechan you can’t! i’m not on the pill—“ he covered your mouth with his left hand tossing his head back as he came in you. Filling you up so good. You closed your eyes at the feeling letting another tear fall down your cheek. Haechan finally took his hand off your mouth trying to catch his breath.
He unlocked his phone showing you to your face that the videos are gone. Deleting all three. You still sat there cheeks puffy and eyes swollen red from all your crying. Haechan wiped your face and kissed your cheeks.
“You don’t have to worry anymore okay? it’s all done” you gave him a nod getting off to clean yourself up before heading home. You couldn't wait to be back in Jake’s arms again.
When you left his apartment haechan promised not to contact you. Apologizing for bothering you in the first place again. You felt pretty good about it this time not feeling the need to block him on anything.
Haechan reached behind his flower pot, stopping the video he recorded. He smiled to himself when he hit play hearing your sobs and pleads. God it was good enough to get him hard again but not tonight. He uploaded the video to his laptop adding to a folder labeled ‘y/n’ where he kept all videos and pictures of you over the past two years. He walked up to his calendar lifting up the page to October. Circling October 21st. That’s when he’ll text you again with another video, surprise. He couldn’t believe how easy this was again.
He finally had your trust back.
#lee haechan smut#haechan smut#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct#haechan hard hours#haechan imagines#nct dream#nct 127#nct 127 x reader#nct dream imagines#nct dream angst#nct 127 imagines#nct dream fanfic#haechan fanfic
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Celebration Baby, Literally! (CL16) [Blind Items AU]
(Part 6 in the Blind Items AU [can be read separately])
Summary: 8 months after Charles Monaco win, the fans get to see just how hard he celebrated
“Ohhhhhhh mate, you have been outed!” Pierre laughes as he shoves his phone into Charles’ face.
“Pierre, I cannot read when you put the screen in my eyes like that, back up” Charles responds as he shoves his longtime friend. Like many of the other victims of the ‘F1 Blind Items’ account, Charles’ face drains of color as he sees what they are saying. While there is some truth to the rumor, it still is far from correct. “Ah! Merde, they got so much wrong, mate!”
“What's wrong, honey?” Charles’ girlfriend calls from the other room where she is sitting with Pierre’s girlfriend. The couple decided to join the Gasly house for a nice dinner, although reading the post surely made Charles lose his appetite.
Charles and Pierre look at each other as they realize she heard them. The one thing the post got right was that his girlfriend was very pregnant with what is most likely a post-win conceived baby. There was no reason to stress her out when she was so offline it would take a while for her to learn about the rumor, giving Charles enough time to convince her to go public and try to make this into the smallest problem possible.
“Nothing, baby. I love you” He responded as he made a ‘stay silent’ motion at Pierre.
“Um okay, love you too?” was all she replied, not believing in the slightest that this was nothing.
It didn’t help that for the rest of the night, Charles was off in his own world, thinking of how he was going to execute his terribly thought out plan. But she wasn’t going to interrogate him on it, at least not again, she had already asked him multiple times if he was okay and if he wanted to talk but he would always answer with a “I am fine, beautiful. How can I not be when the woman I love most is pregnant with our child.” While it was charming, she still wasn’t convinced he was okay after all.
After hours of deliberation, as he sat outside the bathtub while his girlfriend relaxed in it, he finally spoke his mind.
“We should tell people” is the best he came up with after hours of thinking.
“Tell people what?”
“About the baby”
“We told people about the baby”
“I mean like everyone, we should go public.”
She turned her neck to fully face him at that.
“Where is this coming from? Why now?” She asked.
“No reason”
“You are a shit liar, Leclerc, tell me why.”
“People know”
“What people know?” She asked. God, he was awful at explaining things.
“Everyone.”
“Then why would we need to tell them?”
Right when he was about to reply, he closed his mouth. Why would he need to tell people? While the Blind Items account had become a reliable source as they had yet to be wrong, there wasn’t any reason to actually address the issue, at least not till the baby was born, which would happen during winter break.
“...I guess we don’t need to. It's just- there is this account that posts rumors about the drivers that so far have always been true, but one came out about us and it isn’t really that correct, I just thought we should squash it.”
“What did they say that wasn’t correct?” She questioned.
“They implied we only got together because of the baby, and that we weren’t dating before I uh, knocked you up.” The ‘very public breakup’ the post referred to, was an actual breakup that happened a year prior to the world knowing. It was another very private relationship, as Charles became more famous and ‘sought after’ he liked to keep relationships from the limelight till they got serious in order to protect his girlfriends. But when his ex had found out just how serious things were with his current girlfriend, she wanted to bring it to light in order to get her 15 minutes of fame, which ended up being more like 2 minutes. As terrible as it was, once the public knew she had no connection to Charles anymore, they lost interest in her.
After requesting he pull up the post, Charles handed his phone to his girlfriend so she could read.
“Is this what you are worried about? The part about me getting a ring for a ‘push present’? Don’t want me getting any ideas?” She joked. They had been together long enough and were about to have a baby, so the idea of getting engaged took up about 65% of the monégasque’s thoughts, the rest being about her and the baby, maybe 5% in total was devoted to F1.
“Ah no, my love, you know that is not it. Although an engagement ring would already happen even without our baby, so I will get you something else as well as a present” He said as he kissed her shoulder, then her neck, then her cheek, finally landing on her lips.
“We don’t need to say anything, let us enjoy the privacy for a while longer. Wouldn’t it be better to go into the upcoming season with a baby and a financée?” She asked.
She was right, why not make an even bigger entrance by saying nothing and letting the rumor die down, in order to enjoy the bliss of privacy for a little while longer.
“That sounds wonderful, mon amour. Absolutely perfect.”
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A TICKET IN YOUR NAME
pairing : tobio kageyama x f!reader summary : the charity auction you're in charge of is closing in, and there's still a ticket reserved in his name. your executives are on your neck about wanting a clear answer if the pro player will be able to attend - with no regards for the fact that you broke up three months ago cw : pro player!kageyama, break up, post-timeskip, reader wears a dress, angst, bittersweet, heavy yearning, regret, slight profanity, lowkey self indulgent lol, no use of y/n word count : 5.8k
“Kageyama? Hey, it’s me.”
A ray of cold ran down his spine as your all too familiar voice rang in his ear, tearing painfully at his heart from the first syllable. God, how he had missed those melodic vibrations he now only heard in his dreams.
When the unknown number popped up on his phone screen, his first instinct was to let it go straight to voicemail. But for whatever reason, the voice in the back of his mind told him he should pick it up — he definitely didn’t expect to be greeted with the unforgettable tone of your voice, causing his heart to bang against its cage.
And you had called him Kageyama, instantly pulling out the amateur stitching he had applied to the tears in his heart.
It made him feel a little sick, his last name sounding foreign on your tongue. You never did that, because he hadn’t allowed it. When it came to you, he wanted to be close, intimate, especially since distance came so naturally to all of his relationships. And one thing that separated you from the rest, you called him Tobio.
Or you used to.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything-“
“No,” he said a little too quickly. “No, you’re good.”
“I’m just gonna cut to the chase-“ the sentence came to an abrupt halt when he swore he heard you take a sharp breath, as if you had to contain deep emotions that threatened to overtake your sense of calm. “Management keep bugging me about your ticket for the charity auction.”
“Right,” he said it so quietly he wasn’t entirely sure the microphone picked it up.
“I don’t even know if you’re in town then,” lie — a complete and utter fabrication to try and convince him, but also yourself, that you weren’t still hung up on the past — like you didn’t have his schedule for the next seven months logged into your phone, knowing very well he was in fact still available that evening. “But the ticket is still reserved in your name, and I promised my executives I would provide them with a clear answer if you were attending or not.” Again you cut yourself off, a shaky breath traveling the line, something he had learned long ago was a clear indicator that you were fighting back tears. “Told them I’d have an answer by the end of the week.”
Of course he hadn’t forgotten about the auction — you had stressed about it for months even before you broke up, being in charge of putting the whole event together. The red circle in his calendar marking the date kept coming closer and closer, and he had wondered if you would reach out to ask about it — now he had his answer.
“I’m in town,” he muttered simply, closing his eyes as he just waited for your voice to return.
“Look, I don’t want to pressure you into attending or anything. If it’ll make you uncomfortable, I’m sure I’ll figure something out-“
“It won’t make me uncomfortable.” He was a little surprised by how soft his voice came out, but it was true — he would never be uncomfortable around you. “Next Saturday, right?”
“You remembered?”
“Got it circled.”
“Figured.” Silence swallowed the conversation, and it felt so unnatural. It was only with you he was able to engage in a conversation that flowed like a peaceful stream. He had been deprived of that privilege for so long, and his strangling feelings were slowly piling up inside him, weighing heavy on his heart.
He could picture you so clearly, down to the smallest detail. Right now you were probably sat behind your desk in your office, resting your forehead in the palm of your hand. And if he was still able to interpret your behaviour correctly, simply based on your tone, he suspected there were salty pools welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over any second.
At this hour, you were probably left alone in the company building, everyone else having gone home already. And he pictured you were longing to go home too, so you could change out of the boring corporate attire he knew you hated with a fiery passion. The second you were to set foot inside your apartment, you would walk straight for your closet to put on your favourite slacks — maybe, if you hadn’t thrown them out already, you would wear his old hoodie as well. “They feel like home,” you always used to say before melting into the piece of clothing that was too big for you.
It was most likely a naive fantasy, but Tobio liked to toy with the image nonetheless.
You stole his attention from his spiralling when you sighed, shifting the entire tension of the conversation into something more serious, deprived from emotion. “Black tie event. Prepare for press, the company won’t be shy about any notable names. Pro player Kageyama Tobio is one of those names. Just let me know where you’re staying, and we’ll send a car to take you to the location.”
The business voice had taken the phone call hostage, barely recognising the voice on the other end of the line. The only time you used it for not work related occasions was when you were mad at him...
“Great, thank you.”
A beat of silence. “Again, sorry to bother you. I know it’s late.”
“It’s fine. You couldn’t… bother me.”
It felt awkward now. The ice was broken, the no-contact had failed, and now neither of you wanted to let go despite not being able to find any words to feed the conversation.
For a split second Tobio was overcome with courage, having to clear his throat before he opened his mouth, “hey, how are you-“
“I’ll see you next Saturday.” His attempt was shut down instantly, rushing to hang up after blurting out your goodbyes.
Your phone hit the desk with an obnoxious rattle before your hands came flying to cover your face, aggressive sobs tumbling past your lips.
Even though you missed him, his voice, the comfort he provided, you just did not have the strength it required to indulge in casual conversation with him. It hurt too much.
Time heals all wounds — what a load of bullshit, because here you sat, three months after the most earth shattering heartbreak you had ever experienced and it still served as an aching gash in your life.
Since that horrid night, you had delved head first into work to distract yourself as best as you could. It had been a privilege to be able to fill your time so you could ignore dealing with the issue at hand — a privilege you had taken for granted as your sobs filled the vacant space of your lonely office.
In less than two weeks, you would be forced to look him in the eyes again. You had to paint your face with a smile, smother your sorrows for the sake of the company as he was expected to stay at your side for the evening.
You weren’t sure you’d be able to pull this one ashore after all.
As promised, a fancy black car had pulled up exactly at the time you had texted him.
The entire car ride was spent in a one sided conversation, where the driver tried to initiate polite small talk only to be met with quiet sounds that barely confirmed Tobio was even listening.
He was too busy trying to plant his feet back on the ground, nerves traveling his body from head to toe. Every ten seconds he tilted his head to check his phone just in case you had sent him any further information about tonight that he needed to be aware of. He was left disappointed every time when there never appeared a notification with your name attached.
Sooner rather than later, flashing lights surrounded the car and he knew they had reached the destination.
This was a part of the job he had never gotten used to, and some part of him would probably always struggle with the attention that came with his career path.
Reluctantly stepping out of the car, he braced himself for the overwhelming noice of the press shouting to grab is attention.
It was only so much his PR training sufficed. He would wave awkwardly, try to smile and present himself as nicely as possible so his managers wouldn’t be on his neck about the bad impression he’d given off — but no amount of training was able to calm his nerves.
Only you did that.
Whenever he had to make public appearances, you were the one to help his feet back on the ground and remind him it wasn’t scary. You would lace your fingers with his, gently press your body against his side with such grace. And you would look at him, your eyes whispering quiet affirmations; you’re doing great, okay? I’m with you every step of the way.
Deprived of your safety, he was overthinking every move he did. Was it obvious how fake the small tilt of his lips were? Who was he kidding, they probably didn’t even see what was his attempt at a smile. Was the outfit okay? Had he picked out the wrong outfit, showing up underdressed to your special night? No, he had purposely chosen a safe option, one he knew you liked. Was his steps towards the entrance too slow? No wait, shit- now he was walking too fast.
He couldn’t be too sure he had been able to pull off the image his managers wanted, but he had at least gotten himself through the doors of the venue.
He had no time to react before he was approached by a neatly dressed individual with a clipboard in her hands. “Mr. Kageyama? Follow me.”
Croaking a quiet ‘okay’, Tobio didn’t know what else to do than do as she said, eventually ending up in a secluded, yet spacious hallway. There were only a few people scattered about, all seemingly rather busy.
Then his eyes landed on a familiar frame that he would recognise any time and any place, forever burned into his memory. Your bare back facing him, phone to your ear as frustration pulled your shoulders high.
Everything else seemed to disappear when he heard your voice, “no, no, it’s supposed to be four-“ you spun around, and the sentence died instantly once your eyes automatically locked with his.
He fell for the temptation, trying to be as subtle as possible as he let his eyes travel you up and down. You were breathtaking, all dolled up in a floor length, satin gown in deep maroon. There was a shy slit in your skirt, and your exposed arms were decorated with the prettiest jewlery.
But what had his breath catch in his throat was the familiar pendant resting right on the centre of your chest — the dainty necklace he recognised as his gift for you for your first anniversary.
“Mr. Kageyama, as requested,” the stranger said before hurrying away to attend other tasks.
“Just… I trust you’ll be able you fix it,” you spoke softly into the phone before hanging up, never breaking eye contact.
He swallowed the lump in his throat that had formed the moment he had seen you again, “hey.”
“Hi,” you said weakly, your nerves driving you to pull at your own fingers. The action captured his eyes which instantly had you hide your hands behind your back. You knew all too well what was running through his mind at the moment, having a nearly primal desire to interrupt it.
One could cut the tension with a knife, thick and suffocating, with so many lingering feelings resting in the prolonged eye contact.
You reached within yourself, closing your eyes for a second to force away your uneasiness. Once they opened, and met his again, all evidence of previous sentiments were gone and replaced with business. Your shoulders lowered slightly, arms moving in front of you again and your entire stance straightening with a newfound sense of confidence.
“Great! You picked a good outfit,” was the nicest compliment you were able to pay him without completely succumbing to the sadness that was walking a fine line, ready to overtake you at any second. “It’s perfect for the evening.”
He tilted his head forward bashfully to hide the small smirk of amusement that formed at his lips because he knew you were being modest in your observations. It wasn’t unintentional that he’d put on the all black, three piece suit you had helped him purchase when he was first signed.
It seemed like a lifetime ago now, but he remembered how you had gladly joined him when he was in such a desperate need for a formal wear he could pull out on special occasions. He would never forget how your lips had parted and eyes widened when he came out in that suit, unable to peer your eyes off of him. He’d watched as you had actively swallowed the lump in your throat before nodding in approval, rather enthusiastically.
“Glad to hear it,” he sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “You look great, by the way. But that’s no surprise.”
For a split second your front wavered with a weak smile. You wouldn’t allow the fragility to settle — you could not afford that tonight, of all nights.
You spun on your heel, walking down the hall in the opposite direction. Tobio didn’t hesitate to follow.
“They’re opening the doors for the other guests very soon, and in roughly twenty minutes I have to go up on stage to welcome everyone. The auction will start shortly after that.” You stopped abruptly outside a huge door, nearly causing him to crash into you. Resting your hand on the handle, he watched how it clenched around the metal. “I’ll find you after. You’re technically still my da-… my plus one.”
Without sparing him another look, you simply opened the door and entered the ballroom, leaving the word ‘date’ hang unfinished in the air.
How had the two of you gotten to this point?
His future used to be so clear — he saw his entire life headed in a direction he had never dared to dream of, based on the fear of its unlikelihood. You brought safety and comfort to his life, which had grown somewhat turbulent after garnering some fame within the world of athletes — no matter how things turned out, it would be okay, because he still had you.
But now he had to control how he didn’t let his gaze linger for too long, because it could be crossing a boundary that previously didn’t exist. He had to hold his tongue so he didn’t bombard you with all the affection he still had for you, because that wasn’t his job anymore.
Slowly but surely, the ballroom started to fill up with an assortment of characters, all ready to spend their money on the extravagant auction. Tobio found himself standing awkwardly in the same spot you left him, along the outskirts of the growing crowd, feeling beyond uncomfortable.
And though he knew he should mingle, all he was able to do was let his eyes follow you when you eventually made your way onto the stage. The music came to a slow stop, the crowd calmed down and everyone’s eyes were on you.
To everyone else, you probably seemed in control of yourself, confident even — but Tobio was still able to read you like a book, rarely having seen you as nervous as right now. Your smile was bright, but very clearly forced as your eyes roamed the audience frantically.
Suddenly you looked at him, meeting his eyes that were always so soft — a feature that somehow always caught you a little by surprise. He was often so stoic, his eyebrows always just slightly tilted in a frown. But his eyes betrayed his cold exterior, conveying a tenderness you had never really seen in anyone else.
With the familiar safety of his gaze, your breathing evened out and shoulders relaxed, which he noticed. He flashed you a small smile before giving you a reassuring nod, telling you there was nothing to be scared of — because after everything, he would still catch you if you were to fall.
Exhaling deeply, you started the welcome speech, your smile now genuine. He followed every single word that fell from your lips with immense professionalism, and every once in a while when your eyes found him in order to ground yourself, his heart would skip a beat.
“Once again, thank you all for attending and I hope you all enjoy the evening.” The crowd erupted into polite applause while you walked down from the stage gracefully.
“You did great,” Tobio breathed as you had joined him again.
“Thank god,” you sighed. “That speech has kept me awake all week.”
“No, it was good. Very professional.” You turned to look at him, a beautiful smile painting your lips as old habits steered your hand for his face.
When you realised what you were about to do, your face fell, hand freezing inches before making contact with his cheek. In all the stress of being up on that stage with everyone’s eyes glued on you, you had forgotten the nerves caused by your ex boyfriend.
It had just come so naturally to you, to caress his cheek. It was a gesture you always did whenever he would come with one of his simple compliments.
“Sorry,” you whispered, quickly retracting your hand.
“No, no, it’s okay,” he stuttered sadly. Tobio had held his breath from the moment he’d noticed your hand raise from your side.
He had frozen still once he realised what was about to happen in hopes that if he didn’t move, you would continue in your trance and he’d eventually feel your flesh pressed against his face. He’d been deprived of the sensation for so long, and he was left disappointed when the feeling never arrived.
Was this how the evening was going to play out? Standing beside each other for hours in an awkward and unnatural silence, both too scared to do anything in fear of offending the other?
Tobio wanted to say something, but small talk had never been his strong suit — that was always your area of expertise, fill the void with chatter so no one was left feeling uncomfortable.
“You planning to bid on anything?” It was as if you had been able to read his mind, saving him from his ever spiralling mind.
“No, not really,” he said simply. “You?”
He turned to look at you, feeling a sense of relief as you let out a small snicker, observing how the auction was about to start.
“I may be in charge of this entire thing, but that doesn’t mean I have the money to get any of the things they’ve put up,” you sighed. “That trip to the Maldives looking really good right now, though.”
For a split second, Tobio heavily considered putting all his money on that trip for you. He imagined being able to walk beside you along the crystal blue shores of the Maldives, peace and relaxation washing over you to the point where you would finally have the time to take proper breaths.
But it was but a mere dream, only a reality in the depths of his mind where he was allowed to fantasise that you were still his.
For the next three hours, you stood side by side as you witnessed all the luxuries items being auctioned off one by one. Every once in a while you would shoot a casual comment in hopes it would lighten the looming cloud that hung over you — it remained persistent.
It didn’t go unnoticed, how the tension in your shoulders never completely evaporated. Even when your bosses came to shower you with praise for all the hard work you’d done, or when you were updated on the insane sum of money that would be donated, your shoulders remained permanently raised half an inch.
He could only suspect it was his presence that caused the strain. Maybe it had been a bad idea of him to attend.
In hindsight he could see how it was nothing short of selfish — because what other reason for attending would he have than only wanting to see you again? He didn’t serve any more purpose than decoration. His name wasn’t even among the most noticeable, so it wasn’t like he brought any more traction to the event than it already had.
Maybe it would be best if he just bolted, let you be able to enjoy what could be considered your evening. You should be proud, celebrate the success of your hard work.
As the auction had slowly evolved into a party, several pairs had decided to move along to the beautiful rhythm that filled the ballroom. Tobio would shoot shy glances towards you, spotting how you were staring longingly at the dance floor.
“You want to dance?”
“What?”
Shit — he hadn’t meant to blurt it out. He genuinely thought the question simply floated in his mind to entertain his fantasy. Seemed like his subconscious had more power than he thought when the words slipped past his lips.
And now you were stood ogling him in shock, arms wrapped around yourself as you were visibly trying to comprehend his question.
He cleared his throat, trying to find the confidence he used to have with you once upon a time. “Would you like to dance?” He asked again, voice steadier than he would have anticipated.
You swallowed the lump in your throat as you considered his request. “Okay,” you whispered, his heart skipping a beat.
This was not the time to let his confidence waver, offering his elbow like a gentleman, holding his breath as he waited for you to hook your arm with his.
Stood in the middle of the dance floor facing each other, you tried to calm your rapid breathing as you waited for him to take the lead.
With slight hesitation you placed your right hand on his shoulder. And it seemed like he picked up on the reluctance in your movements, because his right hand grabbed a hold of yours to have it stretched out — reminding you how big they were compared to yours.
But when you felt his left hand make contact with your bare back, you couldn’t help but draw a sharp breath, igniting memories you had so sorely tried to forget.
In the dead of night, when it seemed like the two of you were the only people left in the world, he would place his lips tenderly along your back, pulling soft giggles from you as his breath tickled you when it brushed against your skin.
And now his warm hand was resting within the ghost of those kisses, reminding you not only of the private and intimate moments shared together, but also just how gentle he was with you.
To say Tobio was a little rough around the edges was an understatement. He could definitely be crass, tone bordering on cruel when talking to someone, despite having no ill intentions whatsoever. His face was nearly permanently stamped with a frown, seemingly always in a bad mood to the untrained eye.
The Tobio people saw on court was also ruthless. Always giving it his all, whether if it was his calculated sets or his powerful serves — he never showed his opponents mercy.
But the second a match was over, and he was reunited with you, all edge seemed to disappear. Same strong hands that had recently performed fiercely on the court, would now cup your face with utmost care while you shied away from prying eyes.
Same tender touch was pressed lovingly against your back in this very moment — and it felt so safe. The security he always supplied in his embrace came to show so easily. Taking care of you was second nature to him, even now after everything.
“Never known you to be a dancer,” you said carefully as he started to take the lead, moving surprisingly graciously along to the music.
“I’m full of surprises,” he dared to joke with the faintest smirk.
“Never known you to be a guy of surprises either,” you quipped, having his smirk stretch a little wider.
He turned to scan the other couples, leaving you to just admire him.
He really was beautiful, and he didn’t even seem to be the slightest bit aware of the fact. When going about his day, he never brought attention to himself so it was easy to forget — until it struck you like lightning from clear skies, suddenly and all at once.
“You’ve outdone yourself tonight,” he breathed, shifting his attention back to your face. It caught you off guard, your cheeks heating up with embarrassment, scared he caught you in your admiration.
“You really think so?”
“Definitely. I’m really impressed.” Again you had his heart skip a beat, when for the first time this evening, you flashed him a wide and genuine grin.
“Thank you.”
“Then again-“ he began, a little scared to continue when you raised your eyebrows in curiosity. “You’ve always been impressive.”
Finally your stress released. Your shoulders lowered and you relaxed in his arms, a softness in your features he had been waiting to reunite with.
This was Tobio — the person you had shared countless conversations about all and nothing with, who knew you inside out. There wasn’t any reason for it to be uncomfortable. Why not make the best out of the situation?
“Volleyball’s going great, I hear,” you breathed, a newfound, though a little unsteady, contentment in your voice.
He nodded slowly, “yeah, you could say that,” a shameless smile of pride curling his lips upwards.
“Bet you can see the end of the road to being the best, now?”
“Staring to spot it,” he mused, acting a lot more humble than you were used to.
“Only Oikawa ahead of you now. Heard he’s still considered to be a remarkable setter-“
“Oh, shut up,” he said with a roll of the eyes, your words trailing into soft giggles.
“You know I’m just kidding. I’ve known you to be the best all along,” you said softly, slowly melting into his embrace more and more by the second.
And by the way he was looking at you right now, with a sense of safety that would always make you feel some sort of belonging, no matter what, you’d never be entirely lost when with Tobio.
It seemed like he felt it too. So many shared moments was coming back to him when being allowed to gaze into your eyes again, especially after all this time — he was scared he might end up spiralling if he let himself sink too deep in the familiar comfort of you.
You couldn’t help but flinch when he broke the eye contact, clearing his throat when he once again observed the surrounding crowd. “Do you think…”
“Do I think what?”
“Do you think they’ll write about this?” He scoffed, nodding in the direction of the not so subtle press who had very clearly been snapping pictures of you.
You shrugged. “I’m not worried,” you breathed, “we were never really public enough to be prolific, were we?”
The soft sound of your nervous chuckle drew his attention right back to you. He shouldn’t be too surprised that something as simple as the sound of your laugh and the twinkle in your eye could threaten to have him fall back in again — he knew he was weak. He felt it every day, with every beat of his heart, how it pulled at him to return to you.
You were dangerous that way, both to him and yourself. Your eyes would always betray you when they were staring at him, your devotion clear as day. It was always simmering just below the surface no matter how far apart you were.
“Besides, I mean, I am really just some nobody working behind the scenes in some big company. I’m no one really cares about-“
A frustrate groan shot past his teeth, spotting how his eyebrows narrowed in the angle he so often sported. “You’ve never been a nobody.” He drew a breath, a distinctly sharp one, his lips drawing in a thin line as he churned what words to say next. “You’re more than a nobody. You’re more than a somebody. You matter. You’re the only one who matters.” His voice was stern, but surprisingly calm — which only made it worse.
You couldn’t wrap your head around how he managed to serve such insanely deep and powerful declaration as it was nothing. It was like he had no idea what kind of weight his words carried, no regard for what impact it might have on you.
And there was a very simple explanation to that — because to him it was nothing. It was just the truth, which always came easy to him.
He noticed the inner corners of your eyebrows tighten, painting your face with sorrow as the corner of your lips drooped south.
“There were reasons, right? Reasons we broke up?” He asked carefully. As his volume lowered, he tilted his head forward, bringing him so painfully close.
Your sad eyes flittered between his, his crystal pools of blue that always enforced the intensity of his messages, and you began to think.
When you could feel his love still pulsating off of him, and his slightly calloused thumb sending sparks throughout your body as it subconsciously moved back and forth in soft swipes along your spine, it was hard to remember any one reason for why things ended at all.
“Yeah,” you sighed solemnly, nodding slowly, “yeah, I’m sure there was.”
The deep breath he took brushed against your face, and you had to swallow the little sob that harboured deep in your throat. “Do you miss it?”
You instantly knew what he really asked — did you miss him — the real meaning wasn’t hard to deduce, Tobio had always been horrible at hiding his real intentions.
“Sure, some days more than others,” your voice cracked slightly. It was only for a faint second, but it flashed across his face how it wasn’t necessarily the answer he wanted, a hint of anger threatening to scrunch his face. But it evaporated as quickly as it had appeared. “It’s not easy, if that’s what you’re really asking.”
“You see right through me, huh?” It sounded as he was attempting to pull the mood up, but when there was no rise in his tone nor an optimistic twitch in his expression, he failed miserably.
“Well, still know you better than I know myself.”
Silence fell between you, still letting the safety of his arms guide you along to the symphonies that filled the ballroom. You were so close to falling in, completely surrender to the serenity you knew would come over you if you just gave in.
“You know, if there was something I did, I am really sor-“
“Can we pretend?” You cut him off. “Just for tonight, can we just forget everything and pretend?”
His lips parted in surprise. Your antsy nerves creeped back into your body when he slowly pulled back, certain he would turn the request down.
And he knew he should. In a matter of seconds, the healing you’d both gone through up until this point would be undone. But he wasn’t strong enough, especially after having been at war with that antagonising devil on his shoulder all night. With your request egging it on, he was going to let it win.
“Okay,” he whispered, straightening his posture.
With the blink of an eye, you had turned it all off. A smile adorned your lips before simply inching closer to rest your cheek against his chest, reunited with the sound of his heartbeat that you were so used to falling asleep too.
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt him rest his cheek on the crown of your head, his limbs squeezing you just a little tighter, as if it was somehow going to prevent you from slipping away when the evening came to a close.
You had expected it to pick up its pace, beat like a hummingbird — but it was steady.
Maybe his heart was finally beating steady, after stuttering in his chest for months, lost as it tried to find back to its purpose. And now it had been reunited with it, instantly recognising the euphoria and quickly settling into its supposed rhythm.
Bittersweet — that was how it felt. You were allowing yourself to completely bask in the comfort of Tobio. You hadn’t felt such contentment and rest since the split, and it felt nice to breathe calmly for once.
But he was still your ex, and it would come to an end eventually, again going your separate ways.
Those were sorrows for tomorrow.
You allowed yourself to dance with him, your tears quietly wetting the fabric of his jacket until the evening came to an end.
Looming in the shadow of the auctions success was a sight no one had expected to see.
She’s the cute face behind the whole event, having worked countless hours to pull it all together for it to turn out the way it did, and it’s safe to assume she is probably thrilled with the sum they were able to rake in for the sake of a good cause.
However, you’re probably reading her name and finding it awfully familiar — but you can’t seem to understand why; there’s no reason for you to know the name of some random employee at a big shot company. The name probably rings a bell because she is better known as the ex girlfriend of star player Kageyama Tobio, seemingly home in Japan for a visit. Was the reason for his unexpected return solely to attend the big evening of a special ex-someone?
During their time together, they rarely made headlines as they were notorious for keeping their relationship private. But once the handsome Ali Roma setter became available, people were quick to show their interest.
Though we were not lucky enough to be of attendance at the charity auction, we’ve gotten our hands on exclusive pictures from the night. Not only were they spotted together for the majority of the evening, these photos show they didn’t seem shy when sharing a rather intimate moment on the dance floor.
One can start to speculate if the corporate sweetheart has once again swooned the sought after Kageyama.
Fret not, because we got a rare statement from the woman of the hour, and she says : “I have nothing but respect and adoration for Kageyama, but-“
Tobio shut the magazine, unable to finish the article.
tags : @hiraethwa ノ @shouyuus (hope you dont mind i added you love)
an : dedicated to tobio nation <3 lets go with the angst, it is obvi what i love. idk if you guys picked it up, but to me it's sooooo clear where my writers block started to disappear lol comments and reblogs is much appreciated
©hiraethwrote 2024 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited
#— ଓ my creative corner#dividers by saradika#hq#hq oneshot#hq x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu oneshot#kageyama tobio#kageyama tobio oneshot#kageyama x reader#kageyama tobio x reader#kageyama oneshot#kageyama#haikyuu kageyama#tobio kageyama x reader#tobio kageyama#hq kageyama#hq tobio#haikyuu tobio
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Bad Faith Part Two
Part One | Masterlist
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+. Minors, kindly get off my lawn.
Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever. Read this over six times but there are probably twenty typos that I'll spot the second I hit post, so. Anyway! Welcome to part two of two!! Thank you for reading 💖
Length: 14.2k
Warnings: Angst; fluff! Huzzah!; Reader’s married surname is Hayward; reader is depressed for swaths of the chapter; unhealthy coping mechanisms; lovers to enemies to allies to lovers; explicit sexual content - vaginal sex, oral sex, hate sex, safe sex
Summary: Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought.
“Ross. Mike Ross.”
“Cut the Bond schtick.”
“I’m a contender.”
“Not a chance. Besides, we’ve been over this; you’re Q at best.”
“Could do a lot worse than Desmond Llewelyn or Ben Whishaw—Hang on, you think you’re Bond?”
Harvey stopped, gesturing over his body sweepingly before scoffing, “Please.”
“Please is right,” Mike muttered, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You always go to this thing?”
“...I’ve been once or twice.” In truth, Harvey hadn’t been to the New York City Estate and Properties gala in years. He hadn’t had occasion or reason; the last time he had, he’d made sure that she wouldn’t be there before he’d agreed. Tonight his purpose was manifold—drink good champagne, eat good food, and warn Hayward off of pursuing his lawsuits against his client’s property.
His client. It wasn’t as simple as all that, but these days, he’d managed to separate her from the work. It was clinical—and clinical was exactly what he needed.
“Did you see the menu for dinner? I didn’t see a menu.”
“Get your fill of canapes. I’m talking to Hayward and then we’re going.”
“What?” Mike pouted. “But I thought we were staying for the ceremony.”
“You thought wrong. Keep your eyes peeled. Sooner we get this conversation over, the sooner we can get away from this den of cobras.”
“Never have a mongoose when you need one.” Mike nodded over Harvey’s shoulder. “Found Mrs. Hayward.”
“Thought she didn’t like you calling her that.”
“She doesn’t, but around here, it might be better to use that rather than use her maiden name and have someone ask me who the hell I’m talking about…You gonna talk to her?”
“What for?”
“So she at least knows what suit to look for when she wants to avoid you.”
Harvey’s chastising glare was met with a wide, smug grin.
“Come on,” Mike groaned. “You haven’t spoken to her in weeks.”
“And have you considered that that may be why things have been going so smoothly?”
“Fine—I’ll give you another reason you should say hi to her.”
“You better make it a good one this time.”
“Jessica is catching on to the fact that you haven’t touched this case with a ten foot pole.”
Harvey winced slightly as he swallowed the last of his champagne.
“Fine,” He grudgingly conceded, setting the empty champagne flute on a passing waiter’s tray. “Point me.”
“She’s at your two o’clock.”
Harvey turned accordingly, pushed out an annoyed sight—and then felt what breath he had left catch in his throat.
‘Stunning’ was the first word that came to mind, but in his heart, Harvey knew that it didn’t do her justice. For his lingering, abiding annoyance with her, and with them—with the whole goddamn situation—there were moments when Harvey remembered why he’d fallen in love with her in the first place.
She didn’t want to be there. Harvey didn’t need to ask to know that—it was common sense. But that didn’t stop her from showing her face, from being impeccably dressed, and maintaining what had to be a meticulously constructed poker face.
“...You do know what staring isn’t talking, right?”
Mike’s amusement cut into Harvey’s reverie, and he cleared his throat to refocus himself.
“Keep an eye out for Hayward,” Harvey ordered before he forced himself forward, slowly weaving through the crowd.
What the hell was he even going to say to her? Hi wasn’t going to cut it; Come here often? Was almost as stupid. How about something about her dress—Whether or not it was new? That had to be safe, neutral ground—
Harvey had been so focused on what he planned to say that he hadn’t clocked her turning to face him. He chalked it up to panic radar—her hype-sesitivity given the current situation. He stared. She watched. And then—
“Come here often?”
Damnit. Stupid, sure, but at least it wasn’t hi.
--
“...Annually, at least.”
Was it your imagination, or was Harvey…Nervous? At the very least, he seemed as confused as you were at the fact that he was talking to you.
“I’m a little surprised that you made a showing,” He admitted.
“I could say the same for you. Does Jessica have you prospecting clients to get back in the good graces of the real estate department at the firm?”
Harvey’s eyes narrowed with playful intrigue,and for a moment, you saw a flash of the man that you used to know—the man who gave you that same look when you slipped your panties off and tucked them into his jacket pocket to find later.
“What did Mike tell you?”
You shrugged nonchalantly, glancing around.
“Nothing impor—...Tant.” You trailed off, falling still and quiet as your eyes landed on Steven.
Well, he was hard to miss.
Standing at 6’3, with a manufactured tan, swimmer’s build, full head of gracefully graying hair, and veneers that made his smile look like a neatly arranged row of chiclets gum, Steven Hayward was the very picture of the kind of health that only wealth could buy. With the stress of the last few weeks, you knew that you weren’t looking your absolute best. You’d had so many sleepless nights; you’d swapped out your favorite catered meals in favor of cheaper alternatives, or dollar slices of pizza, or ramen from the bodega down the block from your apartment, pulled gently from beneath the cat that seemed to always be napping on the exact flavor that you wanted.
You were certain that Steven lost no sleep over the decision to divorce you, or to pull the rug out from beneath you. You expected him to be in tip-top shape—but you saw hints of his rage as he grew closer.
“Oh—Hell,” You mumbled, tipping your head toward Harvey. “You might wanna clear out.”
“You kidding? I’ve got a front row seat to the prize fight of the century.”
“Target acquired.”
You frowned at the sound of Mike’s voice, but you didn’t turn to look at him as you muttered, “Target?”
“Darling.” The term of affection oozed past Steven’s bleached-white teeth. He stopped just a couple of steps from you—not near enough to touch, but close enough to see the anger sparkling in his dishwater gray eyes. A pulse of vindication swept through your chest at the tense smile, and the tight pull of his jaw.
“Steven,” You greeted cordially.
“I’m surprised to see you this evening.”
“If I had a nickel.”
“Oh, but you do. Putting all of those properties up for sale, I expect you plan on having more than a few nickels.”
“What can I say? A girl’s gotta get by.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Have you considered unfreezing our joint account?”
He chuckled humorlessly. “Anything but that.”
“Then wire me half.”
“You haven't earned half.”
It was meant to cut you down and lay you out, but you refused to bow to this man publicly when the other attendees must always hold you in such low regard as it was.
“I agree,” You offered, and before Steven could preen in his false superiority, you clarified: “I deserve more.”
Steven bristled, shoulders bunching tight.
“Perhaps I should just take this evening’s expenses out of that half.”
You furrowed your brow pointedly, shaking your head.
“Mmm…I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
“Really.”
“Mm…N—...No—?”
“Perhaps you’ve been so busy hocking your clothes like a dog snuffling for scraps—” Your face flared with embarrassment as Steven pressed on: “But there was meant to be a reception at my penthouse this evening.”
My penthouse. If it had only been the two of you in that room, you may have slapped him. How had he been able to detach, to force you from his mind and his heart so quickly? Had he ever loved you? Had any man?
The heat of Harvey’s body suddenly seemed to flare just behind you.
“Ah!” You nodded sagely, “It’s all coming back to me.”
“What could have happened there, I wonder?”
“You must not have taken care.”
“Of what?”
Of me. “Of anything.”
Steven took you in for another long, cruel moment before he jutted his chin over your shoulder.
“Friends of yours?”
Ah yes. Your personal legal peanut gallery. You glanced back to confirm their positioning before raising your hand to gesture:
“This is Mike Ross.” The name seemed to knock something loose in Steven’s mind as he shook Mike’s hand.
“Ah, Mr. Ross. I saw your name on some documentation this morning.”
“You’re about to see it a lot more, Mr. Hayward.”
“And this is Harvey Specter.”
Your stomach lurched as Steve’s eyes widened slightly, lips curling into a smile.
“This is Harvey Specter?” He didn’t bother to hide his amusement as he proffered his hand. ”I didn’t realize I sent you the worst possible port in this storm.”
“You didn’t,” Harvey insisted, grasping Steven’s hand firmly. “You sent her to the best.”
“Try not to drop her this time. My arms aren’t open anymore.”
Your hands tightened where they were clasped around one another. You forced yourself to keep your gaze set stalwartly on Steven, rather than watch the contentious (and no doubt, painful) handshake that the two of them were sharing.
“Well,” You chirped. “This was a lovely little catch-up.”
“Yes,” Harvey chimed in, finally extricating his hand from Steven’s and tucking it into his pocket. “We must do it again sometime. Preferably at a deposition.”
“Maybe in court,” Mike added. You had to fight down a smile at the sudden swell of support, and a wave of warmth that swept through you. Steven’s eyes narrowed just a touch more before he nodded.
“I do hope you’ll stay for my speech.”
“Who’d you have write it for you this time?” You asked.
“I took a crack at writing it myself.”
If that was true, it was sure to be a mess and a half. You always had been the one to draft his speeches or remarks—or you paired down any drafts sent over by the agency’s PR department.
“I look forward to it.”
Steven gave you one last look before he turned away, slapping on his businessman smile as he went, and raising a hand to signal someone like a politician trying to garner votes.
“...Why didn’t you mention the forgery charges?” Mike asked.
“It’s too soon to tip our hand...What table are you sitting at?”
“Thirteen,” You sighed.
“Lucky number,” Mike muttered.
“Go change our place cards,” Harvey ordered. “Put us on either side of her.”
You whirled around to face him, stunned at the tight irritation pinching his features.
“So we are staying for dinner?” Mike grinned. Harvey blinked flatly at him before reiterating: “Go.”
You watched Mike duck through the crowd, heading for the dining room.
“Were you not going to stay for dinner?”
“I’ve gotta eat some time. Come on,” Harvey nudged your arm with his, “Buy me a drink.”
“It’s an open bar.”
“Good. Then it won’t break the bank.”
The press of Harvey’s warm hand to your lower back was far more steadying than it should have been, and it managed to dampen the enraged fire in your belly.
“How’s that good faith deposit doing, anyway?”
“I threw 98% of it into an HYSA.”
“Smart move.”
“I should’ve made moves like it sooner.”
“Better late than never.”
“I guess.”
“...You don’t have to stay for dinner.”
“We’re going to.”
“On either side of me as well, I’m flattered. I wasn’t planning on having guard dogs this evening.”
“As long as you don’t try to keep us on short leashes.”
“Depends on whether you plan on doing more barking or biting this evening.”
“I’ve barked enough for now.”
“Biting?”
“If you play your cards right, sure.”
You didn’t bother to hide your open shock at the blatant implication, but when you looked at Harvey, you found him giving you a surprisingly warm smile.
“Looks like speaking with Steven has put a little pep in your step, Mr. Specter.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“What did?”
Harvey leaned heavily against the bar, focus set elsewhere as he tried to catch the bartender’s eye.
“You and I both know that this is going to be a long road. I like a good fight.”
“You don’t say.”
“It’s important to me that you’re ready for it, too.”
You nodded a little. “It may also be prudent for us to keep that fight directed at Steven, and not toward one another.”
Harvey took the two proffered champagne flutes, passing you one and holding it up to cheers:
“I’ll drink to that.”
--
It wasn’t perfect right away. You and Harvey still butt heads from time to time. On the purchases that the judges ruled that you were able to move forward with, you disagreed over terms—purchase price, contingencies, negotiations. But the knots unpicked sooner and sooner, and you reached resolutions faster. Mike hardly had to intervene anymore. Harvey gave Jessica status updates openly, and you abidingly ignored the smug, self-satisfied smiles that she gave you as you left her office.
With the service and tenancy contracts, the two apartment building sales that aren’t mired in paperwork still chugged along slowly. You knew that it was protocol, but it was excruciating. You felt ill every time you got an email from Mike or Harvey, expecting correspondence that spelled disaster. Every little bit of good news only brought marginal relief.
You spent most of your days in your apartment, packaging clothing or jewelry that you’d sold online. You got your packages sent off by five in the evening, and the rest of your night was your own—though it often ended similarly. Your logical mind often gave over to your emotions in the evening, and you allowed yourself to slip into quiet, depressed oblivion. The methods varied—slurping down two packets worth of dollar-pack ramen, and chasing that with a few bottles of beer as one of your favorite shows played in the background; curling up in your bed and staring at the ceiling at 8 PM, and laying wide awake with your mind racing until the sun came up; hunting through property listings online and plotting a comeback that felt like it would never come.
You never had visitors. Aaron was so entrenched at work that you only got the odd text from him. Your former friends seemed to have further aligned themselves with Steven after his triumphant speech at the gala—during which he had gone out of his way to omit any mention of you from his historical record. You had avoided seeing much of Jessica outside of the office, certain that she would council you on a good divorce lawyer, or encourage you to begin dating, or level another lecture about the stupidity with which you had bungled your last marriage.
For as well as you knew she meant, you didn’t have the time or patience—and some little part of you, some stupid, naïve part that knew well enough that the war was already lost, was convinced that Steven would change his mind.
It was unlikely, considering the magnitude of his cruelty over the last couple of months, and further exacerbated by your actions before the gala. Steven would not let you back into his arms, his home, or his heart. You didn’t truly want to be let back into his arms, or his heart, but you missed his home. You had taken such care in the planning, the curation, the furnishing, the upkeep. You were proud of it. You had been happy, and comfortable, and so goddamn foolish.
Now you were tired, and lonely, and you spent so much of your day feeling stupid.
Sometimes, when the wind blew just a little too hard and rattled the flimsy windows, you let the sound of it cover your sobs against the paper-thin walls that connected you to your neighbor’s apartment (you’d learned just how much sound bled through when you first became privy to your neighbor’s light argument, which had then turned into a full-on shouting match. They’d sounded like they were in the same damn room with you, wall be damned).
It was one such sob session that you managed to hear someone knock on your door. You sniffled, shifting on your bed. You were certain that the sound was from next door, or that you’d misheard the rattle of the window. But when you heard the second, insistent round of knocks, the source couldn’t be mistaken. You sniffled, setting your beer aside onto the bedside table crowded with empties and pushing yourself off of the bed. You swiped haphazardly at the tears on your face as you walked over to it, calling out, “Alright, for fuckssake!” When a third round of knocks rapped against the door.
You threw it open, finally, wincing at the invasive flash of the flickering fluorescent hall light. You weren’t sure what was worse: the flickering, harsh strobe, or Harvey’s stunned confusion.
It may have been a tie.
“…What is it?” You mumbled.
“Have you been crying?”
“Little bit.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Getting there.”
“…Get dressed.”
“What?”
“Get dressed,” Harvey insisted, nodding over your shoulder. “We’re going out.”
“Harvey, I’m really not in the mood,” You sniffled.
“We won’t go far.”
“Then why are we going at all?”
Harvey opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a sudden crash! and the swell of yelling voices from next door. His eyes darted toward it before he nodded.
“I’m not listening to that all night.”
“Who the hell says you’re going to be here more than five minutes?”
Your heart stuttered as Harvey’s hands planted firmly on your hips, steering you back into your studio before he nudged the door shut with his foot.
“Get dressed. And hurry up.”
You weren’t sure what it was—his touch, his firm insistence, or your own distaste for your screaming neighbors—but you turned around and began dutifully rifling through one of your remaining trash bags of clothing.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a diner around the corner.”
“A diner? How down heel of you, Mr. Specter.”
“I can appreciate the simple things.”
You snorted, straightening with a pair of jeans and a sweater. “Since when.” You glanced guardedly toward him before you nodded him toward the door. “Turn around.”
--
“You can afford better than that place, you know.”
You didn’t answer him. Instead, you shoved a handful of cheese fries in your mouth and leaned back to chew with laborious slowness. You expected Harvey to fill the silence, but he didn’t. He just watched, and waited, and stared at you until you swallowed. You nudged the plate toward him, offering: “Want one?”
You avoided his openly chastising gaze, tired of the fact that it was the only look you get from most of the lawyers in your life these days.
“You have that good faith deposit.”
“I told you where it went.”
“The brownstone payment is on the edge of clearing escrow. Look for somewhere else to live.”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Steven isn’t going to weasel into every potential deal and hold it up.”
“Forgive me for my skepticism, but I don’t exactly have many friends in this city anymore.”
“...Are you planning on going somewhere else?”
You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind. There were cities here you could rebuild your life and your practices, places where you were sure Steven wouldn’t bother to try and strike down your attempts to rebuild your life.
“Maybe,” You admitted. “I liked Cambridge.”
Harvey’s lips twitched with a gentle, regretful smile. It was his turn to reach out and swipe a few fries and chow down.
“Realty up there is pricey,” You added. “Could make a polite killing on student housing.”
“How does one make a polite killing?”
“Decent rent and coin-operated laundry. Maybe some paid parking, a few overpriced but conveniently placed vending machines.”
“Redbull?”
“I was just thinking about snacks, but you know what, Redbull isn’t a bad idea.” You reached out, picking up a fry and drawing it through the splodge of ketchup remaining at the edge of the plate. “Why did you come over?”
“I wanted to let you know that the inspections are finished.”
“On which?”
“The properties that you didn’t know about.”
“Anything stand out?”
“A foundational issue on one of the apartment buildings, but it doesn’t cost enough that it should’ve stopped work.”
“What about the others?”
“Nothing that popped as catastrophic.”
“You have the print-outs?”
“In my car.”
“Why are they in there?”
“I was going to offer to take you for a drink, but you seemed to beat me to it.”
You scoffed, shifting in your seat. “Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Specter.”
“You do that often?”
“What, drink?”
“Yes.”
“Are you accusing me of having a problem?”
“I’m asking if you do that often.”
“Once in a while.”
“New for you?”
“Relatively.”
Harvey eyed you critically for a few moments before he nodded. “Call me the next time you want to have a drink.”
“So you can talk me out of it?”
“So you at least don’t do it alone.”
“I’m usually not in a talking mood when it happens.”
“We don’t have to talk.”
“Oh, please. As if you don’t love the sound of your own voice.”
“Call me anyway.”
You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “You know, the thought of you dropping by may just be an effective suppressant.”
Harvey’s smile widened a little. “Do you want to put the other houses on the market?”
“I want to walk through the apartment buildings myself before I go through them.”
“What about the ones in the Hamptons and the Cape?”
“I’ll drive up.”
“And Gstaad?”
“A little trickier.”
“Could bill it.”
“I doubt it.”
“You could, under discovery.”
“This would not be covered under discovery.”
“How would you know that?”
“I’m sorry, remind me who used to quiz you for the bar?”
Harvey scoffed softly, averting his gaze to the diner counter. “Well, this may surprise you, but a few laws have changed since then.”
“And this may surprise you, but not only am I aware of that, I’ve also been pretty deeply entwined with lawyers since then. So I’m pretty comfortable making that assertion.”
“And this? You think I’m not billing for this?”
“Oh, I hope you are. I hope you bill for every second that it took you to walk up the steps to my apartment. I want Jessica to pay for my cheese fries. You know why?”
“Because it would kill her?”
“It would drive her nuts.”
“I can’t wait to give her the itemized total.”
“I await the enraged phone call.”
--
“You don’t have to walk me back up, you know."
“Sure I do. Gotta work off those fries. Besides, I’m billing for this until I officially drop you off.”
You rolled your eyes, nudging Harvey’s shoulder with yours. Your depressed, tear-ridden, sobbing buzz had worn off over the course of dinner, and you didn’t think that the mood would creep back in once you were alone again.
“I’ll walk through the apartment buildings tomorrow and see if I can get up to the Cape at some point in the next couple of weeks. The pictures and notes from the inspection look promising. If I dip into the good faith deposit, maybe I could get the Cape Cod house fixed up and sold before the summer.”
“Or you could keep it as a rental property.”
“Mm.” “You always liked the Cape in the winter…For some reason.”
“I kinda like when it’s all grey and gloomy…and quiet.”
“Be a good base for your Cambridge operation.”
“Oh, please,” You chuckled. “It’s not even close. The red line doesn’t exactly go all the way to Hyannis.”
The two of you slowed as you neared your landing, listening closely.
“...Think the coast is clear?” Harvey murmured.
“For now, at least.” You fished into your pocket for your keys. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Sure. Remember what I said.”
“I will.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
Anything. That was new. You nodded, gaze set on your keys as he turned to go back downstairs.
“...Harvey?”
“Yeah?” He stopped just a few steps away, and you had to scrounge up your courage to turn and look at him again.
“I don’t, um…” You swallowed thickly. “I’m gonna wanna talk about it.” You watched Harvey’s face shift with grim understanding.
“I don’t want to litigate that.”
“Isn’t that your job?”
“Not like this.”
“Not tonight,” You reiterated, “But…Sometime. Please.”
Harvey’s jaw went tight, but he gave you a short, firm nod before he turned away. You watched him round the corner, and listened until his footsteps faded and the front door opened downstairs.
--
The apartment buildings weren’t anything special. Stripped of most of their insulation, and with several of the windows already removed, the wind that pushed through them made the buildings sound like they were breathing. It was eerie, and chilly. You tightened your coat around yourself as you went from floor to floor, eyeing damaged pipes, areas where someone seems to have come in and rooted around for copper wiring, and the billowing plastic that marks off some doors that have been removed.
The paperwork on this building listed the purchase date as nearly a year ago.
A year ago, you and Steven had been discussing expanding your current operations. Maybe he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. Maybe he’d bought you the buildings as a present and stopped work when things turned sour…Whenever that had been.
There had been signs, sure, but Steven always had been temperamental.
You pushed the thought away as you drew in a deep breath, turning toward the stairs. It wouldn’t do to overthink this just now. If needed, you could panic looking at the Hamptons, or Cape Cod…Or Gstaad, if you ever found a way to get to Gstaad.
You reached into your pocket as your phone buzzed, drawing it out to find an incoming call. You groaned, stomping your foot petulantly before you raised it to your ear.
“Jessica, I’m a little busy—”
“I need you to come into the office.”
Your fingers tightened around your phone as your palm began to sweat.
“What happened?”
“I’d rather discuss this in person.” “Jessica.”
“Come to the office.”
She hung up without another word. You swallowed thickly, lowering your phone and watching her call blink and then disappear. If she wasn’t willing to discuss it over the phone, whatever it was had to be very, very bad.
--
“Cheese fries?”
“Jessica,” You groaned, “Come on, there is no way that that’s why you called me here.”
“No, it isn’t. But I’d like to remind you that you should remain fighting fit and cheese fries are not the way to do it.”
“My life has fallen apart and dipped into a moderately humiliating place. I think I’m allowed to have a few cheese fries. Why did you tell me to come in.”
“I have someone that I would like you to meet.”
“I’m not going to start dating anyone now.”
“Well, we can attack that another time. This is for your defense.”
“Harvey’s on that.”
“Your divorce.”
“You know that I can’t afford a defense right now.”
“I don’t mind getting a start while you get the pieces in place.”
The man’s voice caught you off-guard, and you turned to find a man leaning in the doorway. Your brow furrowed a touch as you took him in—the long lean of his body, the neatly fitted charcoal suit and sky-blue tie, the curl of his dark hair, the twinkle of his warm chestnut eyes, and his small, intrigued smile.
“Well that’s very kind of you, whoever the hell you are, but I don’t exactly have anything on the board right now.”
“The fact that you even have a board is encouraging.”
“...This metaphor is beginning to exhaust me.”
“This,” Jessica stepped past you to gesture the man deeper into the room, “Is David Alford.”
“Alford?” You repeated. “Like the plea?”
“No relation. What would you know about an Alford plea?”
“I know of it.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, I used to date a lawyer.”
“Lucky guy.”
“I don’t think he’d agree with you, as evidenced by the fact that he is no longer my boyfriend.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
You shook his hand lightly, still wary from the ambush.
“Look, Mr. Alford—”
“David, please.”
“—I don’t know what Jessica’s told you about my situation—”
“She didn’t have to tell me much. Forgive my bluntness, but your name has come up in our circles over the last couple of weeks.”
“Well, forgive my bluntness, but it’s not my circle anymore.”
“It could be again.”
“Are you going to get me a circle back in the divorce?”
“I’m gonna get you whatever the hell you want in your divorce.”
You let out a soft, disbelieving laugh, unable to help yourself.
“O-kay,” You lowered your hand.
“Why don’t I see what we can do about getting some coffee,” Jessica offered. “You two talk.”
Your brows furrowed as she waved the two of you more deeply inside. Jessica, at least pretending to get coffee? Damn, she really did want the two of you to talk. You gave David a polite smile as you lowered yourself to sit.
“I’m sorry she dragged you in here.”
“Wasn’t much of a drag. My office is a block away.”
“Well, then I’m glad you haven’t come far for nothing.”
“Nothing?” His brows jumped as he sat beside you. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not currently looking for a divorce lawyer.”
“You need one.”
“That is beyond the point, Mr—”
“David.”
“...Mister David,” You bit out pointedly, and fought back a wave of annoyance at his amused smile. “I’m not sure how much Jessica has told you, but there are a lot of things up in the air right now. I’ve socked away some money for my defense, but not enough.”
“How would you know what’s enough?”
“...Let’s pretend that I don’t know anything about the law, or the legal quagmire that I’ve gotten myself into. Let’s pretend that all I know about my soon to be ex-husband’s business is that he has a lot more money than I do. The two of us went into our marriage with about 600 bucks and a dream held together with tape and spit. I have watched, and I have helped my husband build up his business for the last eleven years. I have signed contracts, I have signed purchase orders, I have signed mortgages, I have signed deeds. Even if I wasn’t paying attention to what I was signing, I would know that Steven has amassed a lot of cash, a massive legal team, as well as a significant number of holdings—in both our names. He has a lot of power in this equation, and I do not. Whatever comes down the pike, it is going to be a protracted legal battle. If I was optimistic, I would figure that this would take about a year, but I’m not, and I know that it could take a few.”
David’s dark eyes darted fascinatedly across your face before he offered: “But you do know a lot about Mr. Hayward’s business.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Because it was your business, too.”
You averted your gaze from him as that washed over you. His acknowledgement made your heart knock hollowly against your ribs, and it took all of your strength not to slouch dejectedly in your chair.
“...Yes,” You agreed. “It was.” “I understand that you’re discouraged. I would be, too, a lot of women are in your position.”
“Exactly what position is that, Mister David.”
His smile flattened with nerves, and he let out a huffed, joyless laugh.
“I mean, having been served—”
“A piping-hot plate of out on my ass?”
“If that’s what you’d like to call it—”
“I call it that because that’s what it is, not because I like it that way.”
“I understand. Look,” David shifted in his seat, twisting to face you a little more. “I think that regardless of when you get your pieces in place, you have a real case here. I think I can get you half.”
If you had a touch less decorum, you would have jumped out of your seat and screamed—both from the excitement, and the certainty that David Alford was out of his mind. Instead, you blinked twice, and once you managed to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, asked:
“Half?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“There is no way.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“I don’t think I would, because I’m almost certain that’s impossible.”
“Well, it certainly would be before.”
“What exactly has changed?”
“You didn’t know me. You do now.”
You smiled in spite of yourself at the brash, almost fearless way that he said it. As skeptical as you were, you knew that this was exactly what you needed: someone as bold, confident, and fearless as—
“What a cozy little conference this is.”
You turned back at the sound of Harvey’s voice, smiling a little. “Looking to join the fun?”
“If I can hazard a guess at Jessica’s matchmaking, Alford is the one joining the fun.”
“Specter,” David greeted, pushing himself out of his seat. “Haven’t seen you at the squash courts recently.”
“I’ve been trolling the back nine,” Harvey offered, shaking David’s hand. “Nice to see you, Pleas and thank you.”
Your brow furrowed at the term. “What?”
“It’s what some of the guys at the club call me. You know, my name—”
“Alford pleas and thank you.” You scrubbed your hand across your brow. “God, that’s dumb.”
“We can’t all be queens of quip.”
“You poor things,” You shot back scathingly. Harvey shot you a wink before turning back to David.
“So, David, whaddaya say?” Harvey plied. “You filling the gap?”
“Yeah, I’d love to fill ‘er in.”
You didn’t miss his innuendo, nor the speculative, open, sweeping gaze that David leveled at you. Your brows inched toward your hairline, stunned at his brazenness. Surely you hadn’t seen it right—
“Coffee?”
Your focus was broken at the sound of Jessica’s voice, and the sight of a coffee tray being wheeled in behind her. You let yourself be busied by it. You focused on your coffee, made it the way you liked, and let Jessica and David and Harvey talk about what you could reasonably expect out of the divorce battle.
Reasonably, as if this entire situation hadn’t been insanely unreasonable.
But you let yourself sit, and listen, and save your speculation for the train ride home.
You must’ve read his look wrong, or misunderstood. He didn’t mean it like that.
And even if he did, finding that look intriguing was incredibly appropriate. But it didn’t matter! Because he didn’t mean it like that.
…And even if he did, it was probably just something that he tried to bring you on board. But it didn’t matter, because he did not mean it like that.
…
Though if he did, it really wouldn’t matter, because it would be grounds for him to be disbarred. Nothing was going to happen…Even if you did find him attractive, and found his blunt approach and self-assured nature very, very hot.
But you were not going to fuck him.
--
“Don’t fuck him.”
You had expected the warning to come from Jessica, but to hear it from Harvey of all goddamn people made you gape at him in shock. He just gave you a knowing look before he turned back toward the beer that he was opening.
Your urge to have a drink that evening hadn’t been strong, but it had been there, and it had made you think of Harvey’s offer from the day before. You hadn’t expected such a quick response to your simple text of ‘Beer?’, but he had turned up a mere half hour later, a fresh six pack in hand. He had shrugged off his jacket, tossed it on to your bed, and walked over to your kitchenette—where he proceeded to say the most heinous thing.
“Excuse me?” You finally managed.
“You heard me.”
“I don’t think I did, actually, not properly, because it sounded like you just gave me an order that you had no business giving.”
“I have plenty of business.”
“No—”
“Don’t—”
“No no no, you do not, not here, and not like that.”
“I’m just saying,” Harvey turned from the counter, planting his hand on the cruddy formica, “That I know—”
“Do not say that you know me.”
His expression darkened, and you watched as he drew in a deep breath. “I know him.”
“...He has to be good, or Jessica wouldn’t have pulled him on to my case.”
“He’s a good lawyer, but he’s a scuzzy asshole.”
“I know the type.”
“You think I’m a scuzzy asshole?”
Your gut dropped at the hint of anger seeping into his tone.
“I meant Steven.”
Harvey turned away, hand curling into a fist and knocking lightly on the counter.
“Just…Be careful with him.”
“You are the last person that has any right to lecture me on the care that I ought to take with the men in my life.”
“I’m not lecturing you—”
“No, you’re warning me off, like a little kid that’s playing too close to an electric fence.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fine by me, as long as you don’t fuck David.” “Alright, you know what,” You pushed off of your bed, striding over to your door. “Get out.”
“We’re not done talking about this.”
“Yes, we are. Get out.”
“We’re not done until—”
“We’re done when I say we’re done!” You began to yank your door open. Harvey was across your small space in a moment, palm flat against the door as he shoved it shut behind you.
“And what the hell gives you the right to decide that?”
“Because it’s my turn!” You barked. “I get to decide when we’re done now.”
“It stopped being your turn when you stormed out of my office.”
“Then make the damn decision yourself and get the fuck out of my apartment!”
“If you want to ruin that man’s career and your chances of getting anything that you want out of your divorce, you go right ahead.”
“I am not going to fuck him, and I’m not going to get him disbarred, you ass.”
“Good.”
“And I deeply resent the implication that I’m so sex-starved and desperate that I’m willing to fuck anyone who gives me any goddamn attention.”
“I did not—”
“Yes, you did, you did the second you opened your mouth. By rights, if that’s your view of me, I should’ve tried to not only fuck Mike, but you, of all people.”
“I never implied that you were sex starved, but if you were, you could do a lot worse than Mike—”
“Oh, really—”
“And a helluva lot worse than me.”
“Oh, please! There is no way that I could do worse than you. There are dictators that I’d sooner fall into bed with.”
“If all you’re cutting out is the bed, I can work with the rest.”
You could’ve slapped him. He was close enough, and you could just imagine it—the way the flush of red would look spreading across his cheek.
“What makes you think I’d ever allow you anywhere near me again, Specter?”
“I’m pretty damn close now.” He shifted closer, stopping as the tips of his shoes brushed your socked feet.
“Against your better judgment.”
“You want to put me in my place, sweetheart, you go right ahead.”
“Don't call me that.”
“Why not.”
“Don’t you dare call me that.”
“Give me a good reason not to.”
“You haven’t earned it back.”
“Any idea of how I might do that?”
You bit him. You grasped his tie, tugged him in, and sank your teeth into his lower lip. You expected an argument, but Harvey just groaned, grasping you by the hips and shoving you back against the door. You released his lip, groaning as he swept his tongue into your mouth. Your hand unwound from his tie, breath leaving you in harsh puffs as Harvey’s smearing kisses trailed down your jaw to your neck. You arched up into his touch as his hands slipped under your t-shirt, palming and squeezing whatever skin he could reach. You reached down, hands fumbling with nerves and heat as you worked off his belt.
Every time your mind began to race, Harvey managed to quiet it, with his teasing tongue, and nipping teeth, and grasping fingers. For all of his big talk about getting David disbarred, Harvey suddenly seemed to not give a damn about his own career—
You whined as Harvey yanked down the cup of your bra, knuckles toying with your pebbling nipple. You palmed his hardening cock through the soft fabric of his trousers, thrilling in his moan, and the press of his hips up against your touch. His fingers snaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, sweeping against your clit before swiping slower.
“You’re already so goddamn wet,” He growled, easing a finger into you. You pressed into his touch, gritting your teeth as he goaded: “You like pissing me off this much?”
“Condom?”
“Left pocket.”
You reached into his pocket, brushing against his cock as you drew out the foil packet. Why wasn’t it tucked somewhere discreet, like his wallet? You pushed the thought away as you ripped the foil packet open with your teeth. Harvey let go of you just long enough to shove his pants down around his thighs, then push your sweatpants.
“Turn around.”
You passed him the condom before doing as you were told, leaning heavily against the door. You expected a stretch, but slick heat pressed between your spread thighs. Your mouth dropped open in a moan, eyes squeezing shut as Harvey lapped and laved your slick, heated skin. You reached back, fingers scrabbling to grasp the neat coif of his hair.
“Harvey, damnit,” You gasped. “Just fuck me already.”
He groaned in dissent, giving your lips one more sucking kiss before straightening fully. You felt one palm smooth over to your thigh, and saw the other rest against the door as he eased into you. Your lips parted with a gentle whine at the pleasurable throb of his cock stretching you. You planted your hand on the door beside his, steadying yourself as you adjusted.
He didn’t give you long. Harvey drew back before his hips snapped sharply. You pressed your cheek to the door, skin growing clammy between the flimsy particleboard and the hot panting of your breath. The harsh slam of his hips forced your body uncomfortably against the door. You let your eyes slide closed as Harvey’s hands covered yours, drawing them just above your head as he intertwined your fingers. The door rattled in the frame with each thrust. You whimpered as Harvey pressed his face into your neck, felt his hot breath and the rumble of his groans against your skin.
Your thighs ached, and your heart pounded, and your cunt throbbed, and goddamn it felt so fucking good.
The swell of your orgasm rose and crested sharply, and you didn’t bother to hide the shuddering of your moan, your grip tightening on Harvey's hands. He followed close behind, hips pounding and juddering before he slowed. The two of you stood still for a few long moments, listening to one another’s panting and coming down. Harvey carefully extricated your hands from yours, drawing away and leaving you half-bare and chilly against the door.
“...I need a beer,” Harvey muttered, voice hoarse.
“You left one on the counter.”
“You want one?”
“Yeah.”
You reach down, tugging up your sweatpants as you gently peel yourself back from the door.
“It’s probably going to be lukewarm,” Harvey warned.
“I don’t care.” You drew in a shaky breath as you walked back toward your bed. You’d already sworn that you wouldn’t let him into it. You lowered yourself to sit beside it, looking at the door as the swirl of confused thoughts shifted back to the fore. You watched Harvey tie off the condom and drop it into your trash bin. You tracked his movement—from cleaning up, to doing up his pants, to washing his hands. You didn’t bother to hide your open speculation as he opened another beer, then took the two up. You drew your legs together, biting your lip as your slick cunt pulsed.
Harvey lowered himself to sit beside you, holding a beer out and lightly knocking his against yours before you each took a drink. You winced a little at the taste. You should’ve listened to him—the taste of lukewarm beer was not appetizing. You saw Harvey reach up out of the corner of your eye as he loosened his tie.
“...What was that about getting someone disbarred?”
“Shuddup.” There was no heat to how he said it, and that was probably why it made you snort a laugh.
“Harvey?”
“What.”
“Did you come over planning to fuck me?”
“What?”
“Why was there a condom in your pocket?”
“I had a date.”
Your brow furrowed as you took that in.
“...When?”
“Tonight.”
“Why aren’t you there?”
“Because I’m here.”
Harvey Specter broke a date. Harvey Specter broke a date for you. You leaned back against the bed again, biting the inside of your cheek to quell a wide grin.
“Don’t read into it,” He added.
“I’m not reading into anything…Apart from the fact that you seemed pretty sure you were going to get laid.”
“I was.”
“Arrange for that, did you?”
“No need to arrange anything. I’m just good like that.”
“Well. Can’t argue with that. For the record—”
“What.”
“You really have no say over who I do and don’t fuck.”
“I know.”
“Good.”
“...You going to the Hamptons next weekend?”
“Yeah.” “How are you getting up there?”
“I was going to take the train.”
“I could give you a ride.”
“You already have.” You cast Harvey a knowing smile, grin widening as he shot you a sidelong, unimpressed glance. Your smile turned to giggles as Harvey seemed to smile in spite of himself.
“You really think we could stand to be in the car with one another for more than twenty minutes?” You prodded.
“If not, we could always pull over and work out our differences.”
“Pfft. No other weekend plans?”
“Nope.”
“Didn’t promise a rain check?”
“Didn’t specify when it might happen.”
“Mm. And why would you want to come with me?”
“Steven could be watching those properties, waiting for you to turn up. You could benefit from having back up.”
“You make it sound terribly sinister. Have you figured out how to bill Gstaad yet?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Keep me updated.”
“Sure.”
“I don’t mean for, you know—I don’t want a vacation.”
“You’ve earned one.”
“Whatever, I just don’t like to put something on the market without doing a walk-through myself.”
“I understand.”
You leaned back against the bed a little more heavily, gaze wandering toward the door, where a little bit of your makeup was smeared from the press of your cheek.
“...Harvey?”
“Mm?”
“Can we talk about it?”
“The sex or the other thing?”
“The other thing.”
“I’ve already had one fight with you today. I don’t think I have the capacity for two...Do you?”
You shook your head.
“Some other time,” He promised.
“Sure.”
--
You had seen the paperwork and the inspector’s notes, but to see the house in the Hamptons was a whole other story. The long gravel driveway was lined with a horse fence on the left, and a plain wood fence on the right. You didn’t bother to hide your open, stunned stares as you passed the stables. It was hardly the first time you’d seen a home like it, but it was unfathomable that Steven seemed to have not only put the house in your name, but completely forgotten about it.
Harvey pulled the car into the neatly manicured lot.
“Do you want to start in the stables, the house, the pool, the tennis court…?” He shut the car off, waiting for your reply. You shook your head.
“I only care about the house,” You admitted.
“So we won’t be walking the expansive lawns? I brought my sneakers.”
“Do I even want to know how expensive those sneakers are?”
“They’re worth more than your apartment.”
“I’m willing to believe that.” You climbed out of the car, eyeing the inspector’s report as you rounded toward the front steps. You turned from the paperwork to take in the house’s appearance more clearly. It was…Ugly. The large, L-shaped, gray-brick building had the modernistic development of the fast-casual apartment buildings in the city, with some of the gauche touches of your penthouse, like the expansive floor-to-ceiling covering nearly the entirety of the bottom of the floor. You could see a balcony on the left side of the house, and another around the other end of the L.
“...This is different.”
“It’s criminal,” You muttered.
“Are you saying that because he forged your signature, or because it’s ugly as sin?”
“Both. Come on.”
You walked up to the front door, punching in the code that the realtor had given you to get the door open.
The foyer was as flat and uninspired as the outside of the house—white marble floors, grey walls, and sterling silver furnishings. You grimaced as you looked around.
“Are we doing a complete walk through of this millennial grey gulag?”
“If you’re going to hate it, you can wait in the car,” You offered, glancing toward Harvey. “Apparently there are fifteen bedrooms and nine bathrooms, and I don’t know how much of your cute commentary I can deal with today.”
“Seemed to handle it fine in the car.” Harvey turned left before you could say or do anything else, and you followed him, looking down at the property’s map.
“This place oughta have one of those fricking mall maps with a star labeled ‘You Are Here’,” You grumbled.
“Now who’s making cute comments.”
–
“My feet hurt,” You groaned, plopping onto a boxy, stiff-cushioned couch.
“You’d think after the last couple of months of living in that walk-up, you’d be in better shape.”
“You’d think.”
“It’s all those cheese fries.”
“Oh—shut up.”
“So, what do you think?”
“I think we throw it on the market for 18 million and I forget that it ever existed.”
“Why list it in your name, though?”
You shrugged, looking around. “Maybe it was in both our names when he bought it and the outcome was such a disaster he decided to leave my name on it. I think he designed it.”
“Really?” Harvey’s brows rose as he looked around.
“Oh, god yeah. Steven can be smart, but he’s never really had any design sense. I wound up taking charge on some of our early flip projects because he just didn’t have the eye for it. He always tried, but I kinda wound up following behind and fixing his messes. If I had to guess, he bought this place to show me that he really could do it, and he just…Can’t.”
“Do you think Cape Cod and Gstaad will be the same?”
“Doubtful. The report for Cape Cod said that the house was originally built in 1950…what. Four?”
“Something like that.”
“It looks like he gutted it like he did the apartment buildings and realized how much of a project it would be. Gave up on it.”
“And Gstaad?”
“Work out how to expense the trip and we can talk.”
Harvey chuckled, wandering closer. “Should we christen it?”
“Christen what?”
“This house.”
“How?”
Harvey’s brows waggled salaciously, and you laughed, pushing yourself off of the couch. “Oh no, Specter. No way—”
“Why not?”
“You wanna christen every room? You don’t have the stamina for that—And I don’t have the patience.”
“What about just in here?” He curled his arm around your waist, drawing you closer. “On that stupid couch, over the piano…How about up against the windows?” His voice dropped to a murmur. “There’s no one around for miles.”
You rolled your eyes despite your amusement.
“If you said that with the Kubrick stare, I’d think you were going all Jack Torrence on me.”
“Heeeeeeeere’s Harvey.”
“Ugh! God, let’s just go,” You pushed out of Harvey’s arms, heading for the door. “It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.”
“The house can’t be haunted, he’s not dead.”
“He is to me.”
–
“When are you planning on going to Cape Cod?”
“Mm…Probably next week.”
“Driving up?”
“Taking the train.”
“Again with the train.”
“I don’t have a car and I’m not going to rent one.”
“Are you staying overnight?”
“No.”
“You’re going to go up and back on the train in one day? That is a long day.”
“I can handle it.”
“You’d be more comfortable in a car.”
“Yeah, obviously—Eyes on the road, Specter.” You reached out, poking his cheek as he glanced over at you. He batted your hand away lazily before turning back to the road.
“Why do you always insist on doing things in the most difficult way possible?”
“Because in most cases, the most difficult choice is also the most cost-effective. Efficiencies can be cruel, Harvey.”
“Cruel is an understatement.”
“I can handle a day on the train.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so, thank you.”
“Stubborn.”
“...Do you wanna come up when we get back to my place?”
“What for?”
You tipped your head to the side, waiting for Harvey to glance over before you teasingly waggled your brows.
“Oh, so now you want to?”
“I wanted to then! But I couldn’t do it if I felt Steven looming over me. C’mon, Specter,” You reached out, gently teasing your nails along the back of his neck, and grinning as he shifted slightly in his seat. “See if you can get me any more out of breath than walking up six flights of stairs.”
--
“Hey, there you are! Jessica needs to—What’s that face for?” Mike’s concern fell away at the sight of Harvey’s self-satisfied smile as he stepped off of the elevator. Harvey gave a dismissive shrug. What the hell was he going to tell Mike? That he’d spent the weekend somewhere other than his place? That he had fallen asleep with her, and remembered how serene it used to be to wake up with her? That they’d hardly left her cruddy apartment—hell, they’d hardly left her bed?
“Nothing. What were you saying?”
“Jessica needs to see you.”
“Right now?”
No sooner had the words left his mouth did Jessica step out from around the corner, drawing him up short.
“Yes,” She insisted firmly. “Right now.”
Harvey had the strange sense of a child being marched to the principal as she led her way to her office. She shut the door behind the two of them, striding past him to her desk.
“Can this wait?” Harvey hedged. “I’ve got coffee going cold on my desk.”
“Well then, I’ll make this quick. Did you have a nice time this weekend?"
That should've been his warning. It was a solid leading question, and one that, on any other Monday, he would not have hesitated to answer. His eyes narrowed slightly, before he decided—Yes, she must have known that he drove to the Hamptons. Someone would have told Jessica: Mike was still in the habit of offering updates when he thought they would be helpful.
"Yes," He finally answered.
"Was it a productive trip?"
A second warning. Jessica was a strategist, and Harvey knew that any lawyer worth a damn didn't ask a question that they didn't already know the answer to. Still, he chose a carefully middle-of-the-road answer:
"She was happy to go through the home herself, set a listing price. Hopefully we can get it on the market and on its way as soon as possible.”
Jessica took that in thoughtfully, lips set in a placid smile.
"Were there any outstanding features?"
A third and final warning, but Harvey couldn't help but lean into it:
"Are we talking about the tennis court, the pool, the stables, or the thousand lawns?"
Jessica let out a tepid, flatly amused, "Hm," Before beckoning him closer. "Well if those all caught your eye, it would explain why you missed the cameras."
Harvey froze in his step, blood running cold. There was no way—Cameras? His gaze dropped to the laptop that she turned to face him. The black and white footage was grainy, but clear enough. Harvey watched as he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her into his chest. He could still feel the heat of her body, and the plush slide of her sweater beneath his fingers. He could see the gentle, adoring way that she gazed up at him before she nudged him away, leading the charge out of the house.
‘It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.’ He didn’t know how, but she had felt it.
"Where did that come from."
"I'll give you three guesses."
"Let me explain—"
"Explain what!" Jessica slammed the laptop closed, rounding the desk with self-righteous strides. "Explain what idiotic idea led to you putting on a show?"
"We didn't know that there were cameras."
"How long has this been going on?"
"We only went to see that one house."
Jessica's expression darkened as she shook her head.
"Don't play dumb with me, Harvey," She warned lowly. "How long have you been sleeping with her."
It hit him low in the gut. For a moment, he was too stunned to speak.
"She told you?"
"No, she didn't tell me. She didn't have to. It'll be plain as day to anyone who sees that footage."
"That’s not true, we were just—"
"Just what?"
"I was teasing her! It didn't mean anything."
"If I call and ask her, she'll say the same thing?"
He was certain of it. "Yes."
"Would she swear to it under oath? At a deposition? In court?"
His surety faltered, and his mouth worked wordlessly before he pursed his lips tightly. Jessica shook her head again.
"I am not the only one with access to this. Luckily for you—for both of you—she still has a friend or two on the inside. Aaron Delaney sent this to me before he deleted the original. He works closely with Steven, and has access to a few property accounts. He got an alert on his phone that someone had used the keypad to open the door."
"Has Steven seen it?"
"He isn't sure, but I'm not willing to take that chance. Louis will be taking over the Hayward case, and Mike will be assisting him."
"No, Jessica, that's not happening."
"It is, because I'm telling you that it is. You should be relieved. You never wanted it in the first place."
"Things are different now."
"You're damn right they are! What the hell were you thinking? Both of you?"
"Let me see this case through."
"If you see this through and Hayward does have access to this footage, you could be disbarred. You're going to hand the files over to Louis by the end of the day. He is expecting them. Mike will bring him up to speed and assist him until this mess is cleared up."
Harvey lowered his gaze to the floor as Jessica stepped around him, opening the door and waiting beside it. He curled his hands into fists in his pockets as he strode resignedly from the office.
"And so help you," Jessica warned as he passed, "If I hear that you are holding Louis up in any way."
Harvey only made it a few feet from the office before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, hurriedly dialing her number. It rang once...Twice...Three times...And went to voicemail.
"Damnit," He hissed, lowering the phone to redial. "C'mon, c'mon..." It rang once, "Pick up." Twice...
"Hey you."
"Where are you?"
"What do you mean?" She laughed, "I'm on my way to see Jessica for our check-in."
Fuck.
"How close are you?"
"I just got off of the elevator. Why?"
Harvey whirled around, eyes desperately searching for her through the gaggle of associates, paralegals, and lawyers going about their business.
"She knows."
"What?"
He could hear her frown. Harvey took three steps toward the elevator bay before he saw her come into view—and lock eyes with Jessica. He saw her body go tense, before her shoulders sagged with dejection.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Hell," She sighed before hanging up.
--
"I'm not going to even begin to approach what you may have been thinking—"
"Jessica—"
"—Putting not only your future, Harvey’s future, and the future of this firm in jeopardy."
"I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly."
"We didn't even do anything at the house!"
"That doesn't make the slightest bit of difference."
You slid down in your seat as Jessica paced in front of you, her pace and turn reminiscent of a caged tiger.
"I did you a favor and this is how you repay me?" She finally stilled, nailing you with a cold gaze. You folded further under the crush of her look, so similar to the disbelief that she had leveled you with at her apartment not too long ago.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be." Jessica strode around her desk. "Your case has been reassigned to Louis Litt. Mike will stay on, provided you haven't fucked him, too."
Christ. "I made a mistake, alright? I told you I was sorry, and I meant it," You insisted. "Don't bring Mike into this when he hasn't done anything wrong."
Jessica bristled as she lowered herself into her seat.
"I don't want you associating with Harvey until this is over."
"Oh—Come on."
"If this footage were to come out, Harvey's conduct and ethics will be called into question. He'll be dragged into your divorce proceedings. Is that what you want?"
Your stomach churned uneasily as you considered it. You knew she was right. You shook your head a little, trying desperately to swallow past the lump that was forming in your dry throat.
"Louis and Mike will be in touch."
"Okay." You turned, heading for her office door, and stopping just before you opened it.
"...Is now a bad time to remind you that bringing Harvey onto my case was your idea?"
The chilling glare that she leveled with answered for her: Yes. It was a very bad time to remind her.
--
“You slept with—”
“Shut the door and keep your voice down,” Harvey warned stonily. Before either of them could move toward his office door, Donna hurried into view, reaching for the handle.
“You don’t wanna hear this?” Mike’s brows rose. “You of all people?”
Donna waved him away, offering, “Intercom,” Before she shut the door. Harvey sighed heavily, lowering himself into his chair.
“What happened?” Mike stepped closer to the desk. “I’m just—You two hate each other.”
“Thank you for the reminder. I forgot about that.”
“Harvey, c’mon,” Mike shook his head as he tried (and failed) to keep from smiling. “What happened?”
“I went over to hang out.”
“At her apartment?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, and? Instead of hanging out you…Let it all hang out?”
“Get out of my office.”
“If that was at her apartment, what happened in the Hamptons?”
“Nothing happened in the Hamptons. The footage just…We got close, that’s all.”
“That’s not enough to disbar you.”
“Because you’re the expert on being disbarred? It’s enough to call my ethics into question…And Jessica’s right, no one needs that headache right now.”
“So I’m stuck with Louis because you got close? Where’s the Specter spirit? No way are you going to watch this one from the sidelines.”
On any other case, no, he wouldn’t. Harvey would insist on backseat driving. But on this one…He grimaced, dropping his gaze to his desk.
“I want regular updates,” He insisted. “That’s all.”
Mike nodded slowly, conceding: “Okay. But I’ll be ready when you change your mind.”
--
"I'll come over."
He sounded so positive about it—like nothing had happened, or changed. You eyed the remaining trash bags, trying to scrounge up the conviction of an excuse.
"I don't think that's a good idea right now."
"Why not?"
You know why. You shifted your phone from one hand to the other, tucking it between your shoulder and your ear as you reached out, gripping a bag to make it crinkle loudly.
"I've still got some sorting to do."
"I'll help you."
"Not tonight, Harvey."
"...She's not in charge of us, you know."
You tipped your head back against your wall, closing your eyes. "She's actually very much in charge of you."
"At work."
"I know, but I just..." You winced. "I think she's right. We should lay low for a while. If Steven did see that video before Aaron sent it to Jessica, we're both going to have a whole new mess that we're stepping into."
"I'm ready for it."
"...I don't know if I am."
His silence on the other end made you want to crawl out of your skin. "I can only fight one battle at a time, Harvey—And right now, I'm barely managing the big ones."
"Fine."
You knew that fine coming from him. It wasn't fine. It was I'm shutting down. It was I'm finished with this conversation. It was I'm finished with you.
"Harvey—"
You lowered the phone from your ear as the line cut off, watching the inevitable flashing and darkening of his contact. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. How, after all this time, was Harvey Specter still able to make you cry?
--
You became solitary again. Life narrowed. You saw Aaron a time or two, but he was so busy either working or gathering intel that you were hardly able to keep up with him. For as much of a lifeline as she had been, Jessica was still pissed, and you hardly spoke more than you needed to. Mike was a dear, checking in to see how you were doing, but most correspondence led inevitably to discussing closings, proceedings, contracts (and you couldn’t blame him for it; he was only doing his job).
Louis was…A lot. He was very eager, that was clear, and had been working hard to push the sales of the apartment buildings and the home in the Hamptons through. David and his firm were digging into discovery, and were making headway.
But you had so little life outside of your divorce. Most of your pieces were sold off, so you hardly had any day-to-day tasks to keep you busy—and everything in New York was so goddamn expensive. It felt like you spent $50 just stepping out your front door. There were days when you simply didn’t. It was cheaper to stay in, and quieter (so long as your neighbors didn’t have a screaming match that day).
Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought.
--
Walking back into the firm was uncomfortable. You’d avoided it for as long as you could, but Mike insisted that there were a few documents that absolutely had to be seen and signed in the office. You’d made it an entire three weeks without so much as getting anywhere near the building. You found yourself avoiding even glancing in the direction of Jessica’s office. It was alright, though—Donna was a smiling, comforting presence the second you stepped off of the elevator.
“Find the place alright?” She teased.
“I did, thank you. I’ve only been here a dozen times in the last couple of months.”
“It’s been a few weeks. We thought you’d forgotten where we were.”
You smiled tightly. You were certain that she knew everything that had gone on—she was the eyes and ears of the place.
“You know, it’s the funniest thing,” You drawled sarcastically, “I kept coming to the right building and getting off on the wrong floor.”
“Happens to the best of us. C’mon.”
You frowned as she led you away from the usual conference rooms, and even further away from Louis’ office. You couldn’t imagine where the heck she was taking you—and your confusion deepened as she opened the door to a room lined with files. She nodded you inside, a knowing smile on her lips as she warned:
“Two minutes.”
Two minutes? Until what?
“Thanks, Donna.” Harvey’s voice made you freeze, and you could do nothing but watch Donna close the door behind herself. You looked down at the floor, your hands wringing as you heard Harvey come closer. You felt him stop close behind you, close enough to feel the heat of him.
“...Are you going to look at me?” He hedged softly.
“No need. I know what you look like.”
He sighed softly, stepping around to stand in front of you. You watched as his shoes and pant legs came into view.
“...And you’re just going to look at my shoes now?”
“They’re nice shoes. Look expensive.”
“They are.”
“Figures.”
“I’m sorry.”
You looked at him fully, finally, stunned. You were surprised at how drawn he looked. Sure, his suit was impeccable, and his hair was frustratingly perfect, but you could see tiredness around his eyes.
“You’re going through hell right now,” Harvey went on, “You don’t need me to pile on to that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
You nodded slowly as you took it all in. “Well. We should never have, um…” You cleared your throat, averting your gaze again. “It was stupid.”
“You regret it?”
“It’s not worth risking your career over.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Harvey closed the space between the two of you, and you had to force yourself not to lean into him the way you wanted—the way you’d missed for weeks.
“Harvey,” You warned softly. “I can’t keep playing tug of war with you like this. I’m already at the end of my damn rope.”
“I know.”
You closed your eyes at the feeling of his palms sliding warmly over your arms, trailing down until he could gently intertwine your fingers.
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” He promised, “Until we’re on the other side of this, and your business with the firm is closed out.”
“And then what?”
“And then I’ll give you hell.” You spluttered a laugh, unable to help it. Harvey chuckled softly, his nose nudging yours gently.
“I should go,” You warned softly. “Louis will come looking for me.”
“Donna will keep him at bay.”
“She said two minutes. It’s been at least three—” You hardly had time to finish your protestation before Harvey kissed you. You swayed into him, lips slipping tenderly against his as he used his grasp to draw you flush against him. You wiggled your hands from his, curling your arms around his shoulders to keep close. You startled at the two knocks on the door, and smiled as Harvey groaned in irritation.
“I should let you go,” He mumbled. You nodded, murmured,
“Probably.”
But neither of you rushed to move.
--
“I'm sorry to see you go. I've enjoyed our time together."
You sort of believed it, given the pinched, almost pained look that Louis leveled you across the desk. And, for all of your work with him over the last three months, you'd gained a sort of affinity for the man...Even if he was a little intense in a way that sometimes confused you. You smiled, taking up the final few documents that you would need for your record.
"I appreciate that, and thank you for all of your hard work, Mr. Litt. It's been..." You weighed your words carefully, "Interesting."
"For me, too. Reach out if you need anything else—doc review, mover recommendations, tickets to the ballet. Anything."
"Tickets to the ballet? I'm impressed." You held your hand out, smiling as he stood and pumped it enthusiastically. "Thank you again."
You were hardly four steps out of Louis' office when you found yourself flanked in the hallway.
"We should celebrate," Harvey insisted.
"And how would we do that?"
"Dinner at La Belle Vache."
Your brows rose as you glanced toward Mike.
"’The beautiful cow’?"
"Harvey's idea."
"With a restaurant name like that, it would have to be."
"Hey, that is not fair! I could be posh."
"It wouldn't suit you, Mr. Ross."
"Is that a yes or a no to dinner?" Harvey plied.
"When?"
"You busy tonight?"
"If I told you I had plans, would you believe me?"
"Not for a second."
"Well, I do."
"Cancel 'em."
"It's with my divorce lawyer."
"And here feels like a good stopping point for me." Mike wheeled around, striding back in the direction that he came.
"What the hell does David want with you after hours?"
"Deposition starts next week. We're drilling testimony."
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
"Watch it, Specter." You reached out, jabbing the down button on the elevator before turning back to Harvey. He pouted contemplatively before offering: "What about this weekend?"
"I think I could swing this weekend. Is dinner on the firm?"
"It's on me."
"Do you think..." You trailed off, glancing toward Jessica's office, "That the powers that be will approve?"
"Honestly?" Harvey lowered his voice,"I don't give a damn. It's been months. Your business here is wrapped. If Jessica wants to give me a good reason why I can't see you, she's welcome to try—but it won't work."
You bit the inside of your cheek to quell a smile as you reached out, gently straightening Harvey's tie.
"Very forceful, Mr. Specter."
"You like it?"
"It's kinda hot." You turned back and stepped onto the elevator as it chimed.
"This weekend," You finally agreed. "Invite Mike—He's earned several dinners."
"He sure has."
The doors began to close, but Harvey darted in, catching them before they could shut all the way. He darted in, pressing a swift, warm kiss to your lips before he drew away again. You grinned as he stepped back, allowing the doors to close.
--
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
The memory of Harvey's teasing warning was on your mind throughout your time with David, and you found yourself fighting back smiles all evening.
"Do you have any plans for the weekend?"
David watched you from beneath his lashes as he asked, and where that look had intrigued you once, you knew better. You gave a short, firm nod, and insisted: "I have a date."
Your battle with Steven was far from over. You still had forgery cases pending, and your divorce case had hardly begun. But things felt a little lighter these days.
You had a direction, you had cash flow...But you didn't quite have the plan that you once did. You had told Harvey months ago that you were considering moving to Cambridge. It hadn’t completely ceased to be true, but it wasn’t your only consideration anymore.
There were moments when you could see the glimmer of a life to carve out for yourself: a smaller real estate firm with a few employees—maybe Aaron, if you could lure him away from Steven; a more comfortable apartment than where you were now, but you could live with where you were for a few more months as you got things in order; and, at the very least, a friendship with Harvey. You didn’t know if what the two of you were doing would be sustainable, and you weren’t sure whether either of you really wanted to know—but after all this time, you thought that maybe the two of you deserved another chance.
--
“Impressed?”
It was a fair question, but you were doing your best to school your expression. You didn’t want Harvey to know outright how much you did like his apartment. It was nothing less than you expected—large (though not quite in the palatial way that your old penthouse was), tastefully decorated, with a gorgeous view. You knew why Harvey had brought you up, of course, but now he was just showing off.
Dinner had been its own round of grandstanding. You and Mike had watched, bemused, as Harvey had gone out of his way to pronounce all of the dishes in a French accent to the clearly not French (but feigning awe) waiter (who you were sure had to deal with this multiple times a day). Harvey had also taught you and Mike a thing or two about wine—or he had tried to, until Mike seemed no longer able to help himself and corrected Harvey on multiple facts about the Rhône valley in the south of France.
It had been a far more pleasant evening that you had expected to have, and far more jovial than you’d had in a long time. Mike and Harvey were close; you and Harvey had a history; you and Mike had become friends over the course of your time working with him. When Mike had insisted that you all had to do this again sometime, you believed that he meant it. And when Harvey had invited you both up for a nightcap, Mike had politely declined with a smile and a shake of his head, offering:
“I think I should let you two have some time to do…Whatever it is that you need to do.”
You hadn’t been entirely sure what he’d meant, or what Harvey had told him. You were almost certain that he would’ve been told why Harvey had been taken off of your case in the first place. And sure, now and again, over dinner, you and Harvey had caught one another’s eye, maybe shared a smile. Maybe he’d rested his hand on your knee a time or two, given it a squeeze—because he could. Because the two of you were close and on even footing for the first time in a while.
“It’s…” You trailed off, shrugging. “Certainly an apartment.”
“Oh, please,” Harvey scoffed, taking two wine glasses down from the cabinet. “You’re impressed.”
“It’s nicer than I thought it would be.”
“You’re dazzled.”
“I like the kitchen.”
“You’re helplessly turned on.”
“‘Helplessly’ is pushing it.”
“So you admit that you’re turned on?”
You rolled your eyes, no longer bothering to fight your smile off.
“Maybe,” You offered, settling onto the couch and kicking off your shoes. Harvey joined you moments later, passing you a glass of wine and gently clinking his against yours before you each took sips. His gaze remained heavy on yours, and he leaned in for a gentle kiss as soon as you lowered your glass. You hummed, raising a hand and cupping his jaw. You leaned back just a touch, smiling as he crowded closer, dipping his head to brush kisses along your neck as his warm palm gently smoothed up your thigh.
“...Harvey?”
“Sure, I can show you the bedroom.”
You laughed softly, shaking your head a little. “Can we talk about it?”
He groaned, forehead dropping heavily against your shoulder. “Why do you always insist on ruining a perfectly good time?”
“Like when?”
“Like when we were in the Hamptons.”
“You thank your lucky fucking stars that I put a stop to that.”
“Yeah,” He grumbled, leaning back. You watched him swirl his wine in his glass.
“Please,” You pleaded softly.
“...I didn’t write the note.”
Fuck.
“Okay.”
“I wrote a note, but…Not that one.”
“Who wrote that one?”
“Scottie.”
“...Okay.”
“I couldn’t find the one I’d written, she insisted that I couldn’t leave you with nothing.”
“Well, she was right.”
“Yeah.”
You that that sink in for a moment before you pressed: “Why did you leave?”
“I had doubts.”
“About me?”
“About us. You know how my parents were, you know…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “You know what I saw.”
“And you thought I would do that to you?”
“I was afraid of it.”
“If you were afraid of it, then you thought I was capable of it.”
“—And when you got married to Steven so quickly—”
“Oh—!” The heavy, stunned, indignant laugh was pained as it left you. You pushed off of the couch, standing and walking out of Harvey’s reach. You heard him sigh heavily behind you, chased by the clink of him setting his wine glass down as he muttered, “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this.”
“Do you know why I got married so quickly?” You whirled around to face him.
“Because you loved Steven?”
“I never said that. I thought I loved him a bit, sure, but I was afraid that this,” You waved a finger between the two of you, “Would happen again. I thought he would leave. I was afraid that I would spend my entire life being left. So when Steven showed me the slightest bit of attention, I latched on. We eloped. He wanted a big wedding, but I just,” You waved your hand around, “I couldn’t do that a second time. Any of it. I didn’t get a new dress, neither of our families were there, because I knew that they would all watch me, and him, and they’d be thinking it: Is it going to happen again?”
“You’re saying your entire life with Steven was my fault?”
“I’m saying that I made a choice, and that what happened with you was a factor—Not a fault, a factor. And why!” You let out another harsh hysterical laugh as tears welled in your eyes, “Why didn’t you just talk to me? What did I do then to make you think that you couldn’t talk to me?”
“I wasn’t ready!”
“And we could have talked about that! What made you think that I wouldn’t have been alright with moving the wedding back, or going to counseling with you, or whatever you would have needed to get us there?”
“You wanted to get married.”
“I wanted you, Harvey! I would have waited, I—” You turned away, sniffling heavily as tears slipped from your eyes. “Fuck. Ugh.” You raised your glass, draining it before striding over the counter, desperate to put some more distance between the two of you. You set the glass down and yanked a paper towel off of the roll, swiping at your under eyes to clear away any running mascara. You blew your nose as well before balling up the tissue and lobbing it toward the trash can. You heard Harvey’s approaching footsteps, and you pulled in a deep, stuttering breath as he rested his hands on your shoulders.
“...There’s no way for me to take back or change what I did.”
“Would you if you could?”
“Yes.”
“...Okay.”
“Do you believe me?”
“I don’t know.”
He sighed, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as his hands soothingly rubbed over your arms. You sniffled again, swiping away a stray tear before resting your hands on the counter.
“You changed the way that I love, Harvey,” You shook your head. “For better or worse, whether you meant to or not, you changed it.” You glanced back toward him. “I can’t get those bits of myself back. You took them from me.”
“I know. I took them from both of us.”
You nodded, slowly letting yourself lean back against him. His arms curled around your middle, and you heard a soft, almost relieved groan leave him. You let your eyes close as he pressed a kiss to your temple. The two of you stood there in silence for a few moments, allowing yourselves to settle.
“...Stay tonight?” He murmured after a few moments. You nodded, smiling as his hold tightened on you again, as if wary that you would change your mind.
--
He had a few more smile lines. His hair still mussed the same; he still made little mumbling noises as he slowly rose from sleep to consciousness. He was still a furnace to sleep beside, and he still held you through the night. It was almost a relief that none of that had changed.
Waking up in his arms made you feel like it had when you were younger: safe, and loved, and wanted. You hadn't appreciated it when you'd had it just a few months ago, but you were desperate to catch on to every little bit of him now.
You were never going to be able to turn back the hands of time—to go back and warn him, or yourself, or someone that your first wedding day would be a disaster, that it would set you off on a path that you could never have anticipated for yourself. Discussing what had happened hadn't truly healed any of your old wounds.
But as the sun began to creep over the Manhattan skyline and seep into Harvey’s bedroom, you felt closer to peace than you had in a long, long time.
Harvey snuffled, nuzzling your shoulder as his fingers curled in your borrowed nightshirt.
“You awake?” He mumbled, the same low, gravely murmur that you had once loved, and missed.
“Mmmhm.”
“Want coffee?”
“Yes.”
He yawned widely, pressing his face into your shoulder and warming your skin through the fabric. “Bagels?”
“Sure.”
“‘Kay.”
Neither of you made a move to get either. Instead, you combed your fingers through his hair, closed your eyes, and listened to the steady rise and fall of his breathing as you both fell back asleep.
Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @gina239 ; @technicallykawaiisoul ; @coldheart-lonelysoul ; @kathrinemelissa ; @jacxx2 ; @pillowjj ; @chanaaaannel ; @avampirescholar ; @kmc1989 ; @mythical-goth ;
#Harvey Specter x Reader#Harvey Specter x You#Harvey Specter/Reader#Harvey Specter/You#Harvey Specter fic#Harvey Specter imagine#Bad Faith
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Alastor x Reader
𝔸𝕞 𝕀 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥? pt 2
( part 1 here ) ( part 3 here )
Husk was the first to notice me, since we both thought I was going to die.
“Oh (Y/n) you son of a bitch!” Angel grabbed me tightly into a hug, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Charlie ran up with Vaggie tailing her.
“How did you do it?” Vaggie and Charlie asked at the same time. Husk looked over and barked out, “How did she do what? Because she saved him and she also somehow saved herself from Boss Man’s wrath.” He took a swig of his drink, eyeing me suspiciously. I knew he was going to pamper me with a million questions later.
“Well, I just offered Vox information that sounded valuable in a state of dire quick thinking. Sure, he can be smart, but not on the spot. It was simply a trick play of environment and temptation.” After all, isn’t that what I’m good at?
“What was the info you gave?” Curiosity got the best of Angel. I smiled before pressing a finger to my lips.
“Can’t spill. Even if I wanted to.” A red magic spread across my face where it looked like my mouth was sewed shut. Angel recognized it from when he saw my chains appear before.
“Oh doll…” Pity. A look of pity is all I received and it made my chest tighten. My eyes scanned quickly over everyone. Everyone had the look of pity. I wiped the magic off before laughing dryly. “I have my ways around it obviously.” I waved them off. I don’t need their pity. I chose this. I just regret it lately. Alastor wasn’t always this closed off, at least not to me. We used to share almost everything. It was us against the world until he left me alone in it, twice.
“So, I take it we pissed off the Vee’s?” Vaggie stated as she looked at me and Charlie. She was holding up her phone that had Velvette’s recent social media post explicitly saying that Hell was about to freeze over.
“Well, it did give us the chance to actually redeem Angel Dust.”
“Everything comes with a price though, Charlie.” I alluded to what was to come. The battles I can see happening here in the future are enough to worry me on what’s to come. The future is so unsettled on what can happen right now that I can only see small things and not the big picture. I felt a tightness in my chest again.
“Stand straight darling.” Alastor smoothly spoke behind me as he pushed his hand against the small of my back and drifted up to make my spine straighten. I hate how he only gets on my case about that when Husk literally has a hunch back at this point. Deep breaths (Y/n). Deep breaths.
“Thanks sir.” I said through gritted teeth. Alastor flinched slightly at how I called him sir and how tightly I said it. He looked at me as if asking with his eyes, What is your problem? I couldn’t help but shift my jaw tighter. I squinted my eyes, You’re the problem dick. He clenched his jaw as well and pressed his hand harder into the small of my back, any harder and he would be pushing me. Somehow though, I noticed how his presence made the tightness in my chest go away. Despite the fact we were arguing through our eyes. Charlie turned towards Alastor, dragging our conversation to a quick halt.
“What should we do in preparation?” She was mostly looking at me and not Alastor which made my once annoyed face into a smug one. They are looking towards me for leadership now. I warned you Al, don’t play with fire. After all, you are the reason I’m down in this mess anyway.
“We need to cover all our bases and make it seem like we aren’t even worried about whatever they are doing, and continue business as normal. Alastor and I will cover the rest. Just watch each other and don’t leave without a partner for a little while.” He seemed to relish in the fact I still sounded like I needed him. I can’t help but feel like he loves that feeling, even if he left me and still won’t tell me anything anymore.
After spilling plans with Charlie and the team on what our next moves should be, I dismissed myself towards a separate room. I know he can feel the slight anger during our whole interaction because he swiftly follows me.
“Yes, Alastor?” He smiled wider with his stupid half lidded eyes. But my god do I always melt- stop it. You’re mad, remember? How could he keep playing with your feelings? It's like these seven years took everything we built between each other and ripped it to shreds as if we were never anything. Were we though?
“Inner battles dear?” I wish he would let that cheesy smile slip once or at least make it look sincere again.
“You tell me. You’re the one who kicked me out of my own room.” He hummed playfully as I scrunched my face in anger.
“Well, since you’re my pet, it’s also my room.” That cocky motherf-
“We need to talk, Alastor. I want to begin the negotiation of my contract coming up soon.” A slip, his eyes screamed worry but then it was gone. Bingo.
“Renewing it again? We both know you will.” My smile matched his which unnerved him slightly.
“Remind me why again. If I remember correctly, you abandoned me for seven years, won’t talk to me anymore, and have been acting weird lately. You aren’t the Alastor I signed my soul away to.” I seethed. He was holding his jaw so tight I thought he was about to crack his teeth. I leaned closer, almost on my tippy toes to get in his face, his head looked down at me. I saw a glimpse of those eyes he used to give me. The eyes he would stare at me with while I listened to him talk for hours. Then they were replaced with a slight hurt. He opened his mouth, his smile quivering as he thought of the right words.
“There you are! Nifty got stuck in the toilet again, can you help us get her out?” Charlie spoke loudly. Everything I was about to get, all the answers, just…
…gone.
The feeling of overwhelming… EVERYTHING. I wanted to yell at Charlie.
Why can’t you just wait? Fuck Charlie, you just ruined everything.
Alastor quickly fixed all the vulnerabilities he had and proclaimed, “Well of course! What type of help would I be around here if I didn’t?” I watched him walk away with Charlie, a hurt look that he caught when he glanced back.
His smile faltered quick enough for me to see it. His eyes glanced at Charlie as if trying to tell me something before he fixed his behavior and carried on as normal with her when she looked back at him. They swiftly walked out as I was left in the entertainment room.
Alastor, what did you do?
Husk was at the bar cleaning glasses from Angel and Cherri Bomb’s celebration. Swirling around my drink, wishing I didn’t drink as much as I did. I will hand it to Angel and Cherri for having such a persuasive way with drinking. My hair was slightly messy, my normal pantsuit switched out to my comfy clothes, and my eyes looked tired.
“You finally going to admit you had too much yet?” Husk chuckled out. I chuckled back before I sipped the rest of my drink down quickly. The glass hitting the counter answered Husk instead, and the sound of it sliding down to him as I smiled at him.
“Nope.” I taunted back. He shook his head, pouring more into my cup, and gently sat in front of me. I stared at it for a little while before Husk sighed and piped up, “Penny for your thoughts?” He knew I loved it when he said the sayings I normally do. Made me feel like we really are real friends, despite the situation we are both in.
“Well, I think I have a theory on what has Alastor… different.” I was careful with my choice of words as Husk eyed me. He knew I was never going to let this new Alastor last long. I mean Husk even was starting to get treated more like a dog rather than someone who helps Alastor with a slight rough friendship. Hard to believe we were all friends once.
“Continue?” Husk poured himself a matching drink as he watched me intensely. This isn’t something I would bring out loud unless I had some sort of evidence pointing towards it. I shuffled my hands around before stealing a quick sip of my drink.
“I think Alastor made a deal he regrets but can’t talk about.”
(Part 3...?)
(Lore buildingggg I promise next update will have one question answered. Can you guess which one? As always all characters and world belongs to the respected owners <3 story belongs to me. Tagged who I could! Thank you for loving the first one!)
(Should I add the songs that inspire the writing?)
TAG LIST: @immortal-ries @kat-nee @shybananabagellover @tiedyedghoulette @alyslovesflowers @seven709 @vixie--21 @montis-posts @trashbin-nie @sh3sa1dwhat @for-hearthand-home @funtimefreddynaofficial @jyoongim @eviebuggg
#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader#alastor#radio demon#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction
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Without Expectation
You know how everyone is talking about how Astarion has a difficult relationship with hero characters bc he felt abandoned by them when he was suffering? What if, during his 200 years of imprisonment, he’d met one? Very much inspired by this post
cw: pre-game astarion, Cazador, prostitution and non-consensual sex alluded to but never shown, healing from trauma, Astarion being sexualized, Astarion sexualizing himself, objectification, blood drinking, he’s kind of sexually aggressive in this but it's just because he’s scared and he doesn’t know anything else, reader is from a group of monster hunters that I made up who have been harassing Cazador, they are separate from any in-game monster hunters who are less Astarion friendly
Astarion x gn reader
Word count: 6k
He was charming. Pretty words, perfect hair, a dashing smile, and hollow eyes.
The second Cazador had said the word, he was all over you.
You couldn’t turn down the offer. Not for the promise of pleasure, that was the last thing on your mind looking at him.
But if you got him alone you could talk to him, outside of the watchful eye of his master.
He had you pinned to the wall of your bedroom before you could even say a word. You had to shove him back and he stumbled, a frightened, hurt look crossing his face before the practiced charm slipped easily back.
“Oh, you like to play rough, do you? That’s fine with me, I don’t mind being pushed around a little.”
“Stop,” you pleaded with him. “Please, can I just speak for a second?”
“Say whatever you’d like, darling.”
“Listen… Astarion, wasn’t it?”
He smirked at you. “It is, but you can call me whatever you'd like.”
“Astarion, you don’t have to do this.”
“Of course I don’t. I want to. Don’t you want me?” He moved to get into your space again but you stepped back and he didn’t follow.
You did your best to push past his flirtation. “How often does he make you do things like this?”
“Like this? Not often. My lovers don’t typically live to see the morning. Although I suppose it doesn’t make much difference to me,” he said with a laugh, one that felt practiced and put on.
“Oh.” You couldn’t imagine it, being forced to not only be with so many people but to send them off to their deaths night after night.
Your eyes drifted down as your thoughts spiraled and he grabbed your chin, pulling your face up so your eyes met once more, directing all your attention back to him. “Is that what’s bothering you, darling? I promise Cazador has given me very clear instructions on how well you should be treated.”
“No, that’s not the problem.” You dropped your head into your hands as you tried to figure out what to do. “God, this is such a nightmare. Listen, I can sleep on the couch, you should take the bed,” you said, gesturing vaguely at the loveseat tucked in the corner of the room.
“Come now, that’s not necessary my dear,” he practically purred at you.
You felt a little more nauseous with every pass he made at you. “You really don’t have to do that, I swear. Not in here at least. It would probably be prudent to pretend in front of Cazador but that’s an issue for tomorrow.”
“Even if you don’t want sex,” he said with a little roll of his eyes. “The couch is not necessary. I promise I won’t bite.”
It was a bad idea. You knew that much. But the bed looked so soft and comfortable and the couch wasn’t even long enough to fit all of you if you tried to lie down.
You sat on the bed tentatively and sunk into the mattress. It was by far the most comfortable bed you’d ever been in and you ran your hand along the silky sheets. “Alright, but we’ll just be sleeping,” you said with a pointed look in his direction.
In a heartbeat, you were pushed back onto the mattress and he was looking over you, his hands on either side of your head as he grinned down at you. “Are you certain, my dear? I could make you feel so good.”
“I’m sure you could,” you said with a smile, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes lit up at the contact and it was clear that he thought he’d done it, that he'd won you over. “But that won’t be necessary.”
You leaned up and pressed a kiss into his forehead before gently pushing him off of you back towards his side of the bed.
He seemed wounded and frightened by the gesture, a far cry from the practiced seduction you’ve seen from him so far. “You don’t want me.”
“I assure you that is not the problem,” you said, careful to keep your voice gentle.
He did not seem convinced, a tragic vulnerability starting to seep through his facade.
As he stared at you, a worried look plastered across his face, you grabbed some of the many pillows from the top of the bed, placing a few between the two of you.
He scoffed at the sight. “I don’t know what those are meant to stop. Not exactly impenetrable security against a rabid vampire.”
“They’re not for you. I have a tendency to get… grabby, in my sleep.”
He huffed, folding his arms as he finally conceded ground and laid down next to you. “Good. Maybe you’ll be more interesting than when you are awake.”
You doubted he’d find you snuggling a pillow particularly interesting but you let him interpret your words however he pleased.
“Perhaps. Now if it’s all the same to you, I’m going to sleep now.”
“It’s not all the same to me, thank you very much.”
“Alright,” you said with a yawn. “Goodnight.”
You woke up with your arms wrapped around a pillow from your little wall, holding it close to your chest as you eased your eyes open to see Astarion unabashedly staring at you.
He spoke as soon as he caught wind you were awake. “You weren’t kidding about being grabby, you’re practically smothering the poor thing.”
Your face warmed slightly at his words, embarrassment fluttering in your chest. “It’s an old habit. What about you, couldn’t sleep?”
“Elves don’t sleep.”
You suddenly felt incredibly foolish. “Oh. Right. So you’ve just been sitting there all night then?”
“I tranced for a while. It was certainly a more boring night than I expected.”
You yawned as you sat up, setting the pillow you’d been holding behind you. “Terribly sorry to disappoint. Hopefully, there will be many more boring nights in your future.”
He pulled back, cocking his head to the side. “What?”
You realized you hadn’t told him of your little scheme yet. “I was thinking. This whole meeting with Cazador was more of a formality than anything. He’s killed too many of our people, we need to make this deal, at least until we can figure out how to sort him out for good. But he doesn’t know that and maybe, if you’re amiable to it, I could throw in a final term to the deal. Where he has to give me… well, you. Not that you should be his to give, but I figure if I can save someone from this place and I didn’t, what kind of a monster would I be?”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you want from me?”
You shrugged. “I’d say nothing if I thought you’d believe me. If you need to rationalize it, let’s just say it’s an ego boost. Now I get to feel like a good person and you get to leave this place. As long as I don’t mess it up too badly.”
Mistrust was written across his face and it seemed like the first completely honest emotion you’d been able to pull from him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“That’s fine, we can fix that after I get you out of here.” You sighed. “Wish me luck. I’m an awful liar.”
He trailed after you as you left, seemingly incapable of letting you out of his sight.
Maybe he was. Maybe he’d been ordered to do so. You had no way to tell. It made your heart hurt, the sight of him here, the idea of Cazador’s other spawn that you couldn’t save. At least not yet.
He followed you like a loyal pup all the way to Cazador, who was lounging in a chair without a care in the world.
He chuckled at the sight of Astarion behind you. “And how was my spawn? To your satisfaction?”
You swallowed down that bile that rose in you as you said, “He was a delight. I was wondering, in the name of our agreement, is there any way I could keep him? It’s just that I’ve grown quite fond of him so very quickly.”
Cazador laughed, a putrid, callous thing. “I’m sure. He can be quite… convincing. And this would make you amenable to my terms?”
You nodded. “All the monster hunters in Baldur's Gate will focus their attention in… other places. You and yours will be entirely safe from our wrath.”
“And if we’d like to push you in the direction of another creature?”
You gave him a tactful nod. “We could be convinced.”
“Good.” He laughed once more. “Typical monster hunter. You pretend to hate us and yet you want to keep a vampire pet.”
Astarion leaned into your side and you felt a little queasy at the performance as you snaked your arm around him. “Like I said, he was very convincing.”
He sighed. “You drive a hard bargain. As you wish, you shall have your terms. Just tell me if he doesn’t behave. I can get him sorted right out for you.”
It took everything you had not to lunge at him thinking about everything he’d put this poor man through. “Of course, but I’m sure I’ll be able to manage just fine on my own.”
You got out of there as fast as you could. Even if you hadn’t had Astarion with you, you didn’t want to spend any longer than absolutely necessary with the monster.
You pulled him through the streets back to the house you were staying in, racing against the sun. You barely had enough time to get him there and pull him inside, but you had a feeling he’d prefer this mad dash over staying another day with his master.
Regardless, the whole time your eyes were darting around, looking for places you could hide him should you need to.
You wondered what you’d even do if it had come to that. Just sit with him for the rest of the day, you supposed, unless he wanted to try a risky maneuver with a thick blanket.
You tried to pull him inside but it was like an invisible wall had stopped him in his tracks. You gave him a questioning look and he grumbled, “You have to invite me.”
“Oh! I’m sorry, come in!”
As soon as the words left your mouth, he rushed in beside you and you set yourself to making sure all of the widows were fully shut, pulling the curtains tight.
He watched you dart about, tugging at the thick fabric. His gaze was judgemental but at least the emotion seemed genuine.
As soon as you were mostly certain he wouldn’t burn to death, you turned to him. “We won’t be leaving for a while so you can make yourself at home. If you need anything just let me know, okay?”
You didn’t see him for the whole day. You were busy and he made himself scarce. You couldn’t blame him. You imagined he’d long since made it a habit to avoid being seen by anyone. Anyone except his forced prey, you supposed. But still, he hid away from them, in his own way.
“Astarion, can you come look at this?” you called out as the sun finally dipped fully below the horizon, hoping he was close enough that he could hear you. And hoping he would come even if he did.
It took a few minutes but eventually he came sauntering down the stairs.
“Yes, my dear?”
You grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the window, gesturing out at the carriage that was illuminated by torches alone, shrouded in the thick darkness of the night. “Do you think it’ll be alright? The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”
He stared out at the carriage you’d spent hours painstakingly attempting to make impenetrable to light. You’d painted the windows black, hung blankets over top of them, shoved old linens in the cracks in the doors.
He cautiously headed outside, staring at the carriage with furrowed brows. “Did you do this?”
“Yeah, I tested it during the day. It seemed pretty solid but obviously you couldn’t check then. I could bring a torch around the outside if you wanted to check for yourself.”
He looked at you like you were mad. “We could have just traveled at night.”
You shrugged. “It’s a two-day journey and I didn’t want to depend on inns and shelter along the road to protect you during the day. This seemed safer.”
He opened the door, sitting inside and looking around at the painstakingly covered windows and cracks, and you couldn’t tell if he seemed uncomfortable because he was worried about the sun or because of the sheer amount of effort you’d clearly put into it.
“Do you want anything for the ride?” you asked, pushing forward. “Some books or something? I could go get them for you.”
“Your company is all I could ask for.”
“Okay, but for real though. Never mind, I’ll just get you some books.” You doubted you’d be able to pull an honest answer from him for a very long time, if at all.
After a frenzied book run, the two of you were ready to head off, locking yourselves inside the carriage until the sun set once more.
The bumps of the carriage jostled the two of you as you rode. The flickering orange light of two lanterns, one for each of you, barely illuminated the darkened space and you couldn’t help but feel a little claustrophobic.
He was sitting, staring at you, book untouched on his lap.
You’d brought as many options as you could think of, romance novels, epics, history, a horticultural book that had pulled a snort and an incredulous look from him when he’d seen it.
He didn’t seem much in the mood for reading and under his unblinking gaze, neither were you. Instead, you stared at the painted-over window, wishing there was anything else you had to look at in the dim light.
“Admiring your paint job?” he asked with a chuckle as you continued to refuse to meet his unblinking gaze.
“Something like that.” You decided to take the broken silence as an opportunity. Anything was better than being silently stared at and you weren’t sure you’d get a better chance to ask him. “Can I ask you something that’s potentially insensitive?”
He smirked at you with that practiced allure. “Ask away.”
“Were you one of his favorites? Cazador's, I mean.”
He scoffed. “In a way. He loved torturing me more than anyone else.”
You leaned forward. “So it might be easier to convince him to part with the others?”
His eyes narrowed at you and you watched as he tried once again to figure out what your angle was. “You’ve got a real bleeding heart, don’t you?”
“We’ve been unable to hurt him for so long, failed at it for years and years. Every day you were there was because we weren’t good enough at what we did. I can’t help it, I feel a little responsible for you. For all of you.”
“Oh please,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Like I’m not one of the monsters you hunt.”
You cocked your head to the side. “Why would you be? Who have you hurt?”
He laughed a cold, cruel laugh. “Darling, you have no idea how many people I’ve hurt.”
“You haven’t though. Cazador hurt people through you, sure. But you didn’t hurt anyone, not really. You’re a victim just as much as they were. At least we managed to save some of them.”
He squirmed in his seat. “I think they might disagree.”
You shrugged, something delicate in his eyes telling you not to push. “Maybe.”
The rest of the ride was completed in silence, not only fueled by your discomfort but now also Astarion’s irritation with you.
Your driver gave a knock on the door as the sun disappeared, just as you’d instructed him to, and you opened it to find a quaint little inn surrounded by woods in front of you.
He left to take care of the horses and you led Astarion inside, securing two rooms for the three of you. In a perfect world you would’ve gotten Astarion his own room, but his vampirism wasn’t exactly subtle and you couldn’t help but worry that some overzealous patron of this establishment might take it upon themself to rid the inn of the supposed monster.
You led him up to the room you’d be sharing and as you entered, he stood in the doorway and took in the sight.
You were quick to give him a quiet, “Come in,” but he brushed you off.
“That’s for houses, not individual rooms. I just…there’s two beds.”
You nodded. “Yup. For two people.”
He eyed you suspiciously, as if the two beds might be part of some devious scheme. After a few moments, he seemed to decide it was just a normal room and took the bed nearest the door.
He seemed paler than he’d been the night before and a horrible thought struck you. “Oh my god, you need to eat! I haven’t been feeding you.”
He chuckled. “Good luck with that, there aren’t many disposable animals out here. At least, not ones you could catch. Unless you want to let me at the horses, but that would leave us in quite the predicament.”
“I mean, you could drink from me. Not everything, obviously, but I could spare some.”
You held out your hand to him, presenting your wrist and looking at him expectantly.
“I’m not allowed to drink human blood,” he spat back at you, the bile of hundreds of years of resentment lacing his words. “Cazador doesn’t allow it.”
“You’re not his anymore. He gave control over to me and I say you can do whatever you’d like and that you don’t take orders from anyone anymore. The offer stands.” You went to withdraw your hand until his hunger bested his hesitation but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling away.
“Well,” he said with a sly smile. “As long as you’re offering, I would be a fool to turn you down.”
It was so strange how quickly it happened, how easily he could slip right back into that faux confidence.
He leaned towards you and you backed away at the hungry look in his eyes, one you were more than familiar with.
“If you really want to I’m sure there’s ways we could make this a more rewarding experience for you,” he said and in a heartbeat he maneuvered himself over you, his hands interlaced with yours and holding you to the mattress.
You pulled yourself back in an instant, leaning against the headboard as you presented your wrist to him once more.
You didn’t fault him for it. After years of surviving with it, of course he would keep trying to draw you in with his sexuality. The instinct couldn’t be snuffed out overnight.
You’d bat away his attempts as many times you needed to, try and make him understand. You weren’t sure if it would ever work, not fully, but you’d keep trying.
“It’s easier this way,” you said in explanation, giving him something to latch onto that didn’t feel like rejection.
He rolled his eyes. “Easier, I’m sure. Typical, I got a master who’s allergic to fun.”
“I’m not your master. You can do as you please, could leave now if you wanted.”
“And go where?” he snapped. “You can pretend if you must but I know what I am. I know where I stand. I am a lot of things, but I am no fool.”
“I know.”
He studied you for a moment, eyes daring across your face before he pulled your wrist towards him, digging his teeth into your flesh.
The sharp pain lasted for a heartbeat before it faded away to a dull ache. He lapped at the open wound, his put-on demeanor disappearing as he got lost in it.
He cradled your hand like it was a lifeline. In a way, you supposed it was.
You could feel yourself getting lightheaded as he fed but you refused to stop him. You would not command it of him, would rather die than force him into it. You let out a quiet whine, your form slumping back into the bed.
He drew away immediately and your blood began pouring onto the white sheets of the bed.
A moment of panic reflected in his red eyes before he grabbed the corner of the sheets, wrapping them around your wound.
“There,” he said, his voice quieter than his normal bravado. “Should keep you from bleeding out.”
Your eyes were locked on his collarbone, a dark bruise becoming visible as your blood fled through his previously starved body. The longer you looked, the more of them you could see, peeking out from under his clothes.
“Oh, you poor thing,” you said in hushed tones, hands moving to reach for him before stopping in their tracks, unsure if your touch would be wanted.
He was otherwise preoccupied, his eyes alight with something entirely new. He looked stronger, livelier. There was a warmth to his cheeks you’d never seen before.
You resisted the urge to touch him, to see if he’d become warmer as your blood had begun to run through him, bringing a new light to his eyes.
“You should get some rest,” he said, looking down at you lying exhausted and drained on the bed. “You certainly need it.”
You barely had time to laugh at his comment before you’d drifted off.
The ride back was as quiet as it had been the day before, if a little less uncomfortable. Astarion still stared for much of it but he at least pretended to read his book. The healthy flush to his cheeks seemed to come with a bit of newfound comfort and ease around you that made you puff up with pride, even if you still felt a little woozy from the night before.
“Here we are!” you said as a knock sounded on the door, opening it and leading him inside your home. It was an old manor of your family's, not particularly big, right on the edge of nowhere, and perhaps falling apart just a little but more than suitable for your purposes. “It’s a little bit of a mess but I kind of like it that way. Come on, I’ll show you your room.”
You decided to put him in a room that was just a few doors down from your own, pointing out just where he could go to find you if he needed anything.
You laid down to sleep once you got him situated, more exhausted than you typically were at this time of night. Despite how tired you were, presumably from the blood loss, you had to fight the urge to go and check on Astarion just one more time.
You hadn’t known him for long but you’d already developed an intensely protective instinct towards the man.
You did your best to put him out of your mind when a knock sounded at the door.
“Come in,” you called out. You made no attempt to suppress your smile when he peeked in the doorway.
“I think I’ve grown accustomed to your company,” he said sheepishly, and for once it didn’t seem like he was trying to seduce you. He seemed worn down, looking just as tired as you felt, a defeated air present on his face.
You were too tired for subtlety, opening your arm to him and muttering a sleepy, “Just come here.”
He seemed grateful to not have to explain himself. To not have to ask.
He sat on the bed, looking down at you where you lay.
“No pillow this time?” he asked in that snide voice he used so often.
“I can if you want. Just thought you might appreciate the closeness.”
He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Fine, I’ll be your little pillow to hug. Fair warning though, I run cold.”
You tried and failed to suppress a yawn as he got into bed beside you and you wrapped your arms softly around him. “I don’t mind. G’night.”
“Goodnight, my dear.”
Just like that, it became a bit of unspoken habit between the two of you. You felt it might honestly kill him to comment on it, to ask you for affection. But with no words, no pleasantries, there he was every night, beside you.
One night, about a week into his residence in your home, he seemed more restless than normal, fiddling endlessly with your hand, incapable of sitting still. You turned to him with a pointed look. “Come on, out with it, it’s not good to go to bed with things left unsaid.”
He scoffed. “Why not?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know, what if I die in my sleep or something.”
“If you die in your sleep, I think I might have bigger problems than things I didn’t say to you. Namely, some monster hunters who might take issue with the vampire you died next to.”
You shook your head. “No, I already told them about you, they wouldn’t hurt you.”
That seemed to take him by surprise, pulling back a bit at your words. “You did?”
“Of course I did. Now come on, out with it, what’s going on it that head of yours?”
He sighed dramatically and flopped back on his pillow. “It’s really nothing.”
“Not if it's bothering you. I want to help.”
“Did you mean it?” he blurted out, like the words had to be forced out of him quickly or they wouldn’t come out at all. “When you said you wanted to save the rest of them too?”
“Of course I did. And I will. At least if I have anything to say about it,” you said quietly, your stomach turning at the thought of the other spawn you’d left behind.
He turned from you as if you’d slapped him. “Right. I’m going to sleep in my own room. I should’ve been in there anyway, this was silly. Goodnight, darling.”
You chased after him in a heartbeat, catching up at him before he’d even managed to open his door. “Wait, what did I do? Astarion?”
He was an unstoppable force, storming into his own room.
“I don’t understand what I did,” you pleaded with him, desperate to fix it. You raked through your conversation, trying to dissect every word spoken, every facial expression. You found nothing. Shouldn’t he be happy you wanted to help them? It didn’t make sense to you.
He sat on his bed, one he’d never slept in, arms crossed and brows furrowed. When he spoke, there was a faux casualty to it, like he was trying to pretend none of it mattered to him. “I’m just making room for the next stray you let into your bed.”
You sat next to him, careful to keep your distance as you moved your head down to try and catch his eye. “You know I’m not replacing you, right?”
He huffed in response, turning away from you again.
You made sure to keep your tone gentle and soft. “You know I wouldn’t let just any vampire spawn sleep next to me, right? It’s because I care about you, it’s not just because you’re there. No one is replacing you and I promise there is enough of me to help people while also still being there for you. I will save as many of them as I can until I can rid this world of Cazador but you’re not just Cazador’s victim, you’re my friend.”
He turned to you suddenly. “Stop saying that. Stop saying you’re going to hunt down Cazador. If he catches wind of any of this you’re dead. At least, if you’re lucky you’ll be dead. And then where will I be?”
“Hey, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know what I’m doing, we all know what we’re doing. He’s not going to get me.”
“That’s why you made that deal, is it? Did all the other hunters he slaughtered know what they were doing too? You aren’t a threat to him, you are a nuisance. You need to stop,” he snarled.
You couldn’t stop. You both knew that, could see it as clear as day.
Instead, you just said a quiet, “Come on, come to bed,” and walked out of the room.
He trailed behind you, the unendable argument weighing heavy on the both of you, no more words spoken as he slipped under the sheets. You gave his hand a squeeze, trying your best to reassure him despite knowing it would never work. Not as long as he was still out there.
And then, as he leaned into your space, head brushing against your arm, something he’d been getting slowly more comfortable doing, something occurred to you that should have many days ago, back when he’d first arrived here. It was strange that he was here, now. Not just because of his uncomfortability with any sort of nonsexual closeness, but because of when it was.
Not only did elves not sleep the same way nor as long as humans did, but vampires slept during the day typically, to enjoy the night as best they could.
“I’m going to start sleeping during the day,” you said decisively. “That way we can keep doing this,” you said as you gestured around vaguely, “and you can go out, can do things with your waking hours. I’m sorry it didn’t occur to me sooner.”
His eyes widened. “You’d really let me leave?”
His surprise felt like a shard of ice through your chest. “Of course I would. You can do whatever you want. I’ll even do my best to help if you’ll ask me for it.” Another horrible thought struck you. “Wait, you didn’t think you could leave and you’ve been with me most nights. What have you been eating?”
“Whatever I could find. I make for wonderful pest control.”
Your heart sank. You should’ve considered this sooner, never put him through any of this.
“Here, drink from me,” you said, sticking out your hand. “I can get some bigger animals for you, keep them here so you don’t have to hunt for them if you’d prefer, but for now I will have to do.”
He hesitated, although his gaze was less suspicious than the last time you’d done this. Instead, he looked nervous. “You’ve… you’ve already done so much for me. I shouldn’t.”
“Astarion, you’re starving,” you said quietly, trying to reason with him.
“I’d rather not push it. Eventually, even your charity will run out.”
You shook your head. “It will not. It’s fine if you don’t believe me, I know it’ll take time, but I will keep being here for you until it sinks in. Promise.”
He laughed quietly, seeming more for himself than for you, something that had been happening more and more lately. “You underestimate my distrust, I think I could outlast you.”
You smiled back. “Challenge accepted. But until then, you need to eat.”
You held out your wrist for him, the marks from the last time just beginning to fade. He took it, gingerly, bringing it slowly to his mouth and watching your face for any apprehension.
You showed none, instead giving him a soft smile. “Go on. I don’t bite.”
That got a real laugh out of him. “That’s not funny.”
He pressed a soft kiss into your skin before sinking his fangs in, that sharp pain coming with a flutter of warmth inside your chest.
He was slower this time, more intentional as he drank. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he wasn’t as hungry or if it was because it felt less like his meal might be ripped away from him unceremoniously.
He didn’t get as lost in it this time, eyes flicking up to meet yours, checking in on you.
You didn’t even get the chance to try and tell him you were feeling woozy before he drew back, pulling a handkerchief you hadn’t even noticed off the side table to wrap around your wrist.
“Wouldn’t want to get our sheets all bloody,” he said as he knotted it tight around your wound.
Your hands moved slowly as soon as he released them, reaching up towards his face and giving him plenty of time to back away.
For a moment, when he first saw you reaching for him, he pulled back and you were ready to retreat and shower him in endless apologies when, as suddenly as he’d moved away, he leaned into your touch.
Gentle hands cradled his face, ones he’d flinched away from but a moment before. He leaned into them openly now, unabashedly, making a home between your palms.
He was warmer like this, with your blood rushing through him.
You pulled him closer as his head tucked right under yours, your fingers carding gently through his hair.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, barely loud enough to reach his ears, and you had no idea if he believed you.
You doubted it, doubted that you’d been able to break through all those years of his living hell so quickly. His walls had been carefully constructed for a reason, and you understood why he was so hesitant to break them down. You couldn’t blame him, would never blame him.
It didn’t really matter. You’d keep trying either way.
#astarion#astarion x reader#vampire x reader#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunin#astarion needs a hug
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Man Eater (2) 𓆩♡𓆪
♡ Series Masterlist ♡ Previous part ♡
♡ Pairing: Logan Howlett/Fem!Vigilante!Reader
♡ Word Count: 3.6k
♡ Rating: Mature (but any additional parts may be explicit)
♡ Warning/Tags: suggestions of child/adult abuse (no detail), mentions of violence (little detail), mutant/vigilante reader, suggestive language, Logan being a lil flirty menace (i love it)
♡ Summary: Leaving your past behind is never easy; teasing Logan makes it tolerable...if you can call it teasing...
♡ Note: worked very hard to post this on hugh's birthday in celebration! also! if you requested a part two, I tagged you. if you'd like to be added or removed, let me know!
In the middle of the night, you tossed and turned in your sleep. The mattress was soft, the room warm, the available sweats you found in the drawers were too comfortable. It should have been perfect. Yet, the hairs surrounding your forehead began to stick. You never slept well in new environments, always feeling on edge. Each creek of the old mansion raised the hair on the back of your neck. It gave you time to think about Charles’s proposition.
You didn’t want to admit it to Charles or Logan, life in your apartment was a tad lonely, too quiet. Silence was conflicting. In the same way it brought peace, it brought dread. Waiting for the inevitable break was like torture. Breaking it yourself—losing yourself in work—at least made it predictable. Gigs, at least paid ones, were far and few in between. Not much was breaking the silence nowadays.
You looked over at the clock seeing it was 2am. You got yourself out of bed, slowly roaming the halls of the mansion. The weight of your steps on the wood floor would be more prominent if not for the storm that still roared outside. Otherwise, there wasn’t a stir in the mansion. It was different from hours prior. The laughter and conversations of children could be heard from your room until you fell asleep.
Down the end of the hallway, you could see the gleam of light around the corner. From your recollection, it had to be the kitchen. You hesitantly followed the light, hoping someone just left it on.
Rounding the corner, you were met with the glare of a shirtless Logan, elbows firmly on the counter while sitting on the stool. He was swirling a glass of whiskey, careful to not let a drop fall despite its fullness. Like a reflex, your eyes scanned his sitting form. You were sure that he noticed.
The smirk on his lips grew, seeing you adorned in sweatpants and a hoodie that were at least a size too big. You might as well have been in clothes.
"What are you doing up, princess? Can’t sleep?" From his tired voice, you could tell that he hadn’t been up for long.
You tried to recover from your brazen survey of his chest. “I don’t sleep well in new places,” you shrugged as you slowly approached the counter.
"Ah, so that’s why you’re up, huh? New place and all that…" He took a gulp of his whiskey, keeping his gaze on you as he spoke again. His tongue darted out to his bottom lip, retrieving the remaining taste of the liquor. “You like what you see, sweetheart?” The gruff yet playful tone in his voice made your core stir.
You hummed, laying your palms on the cool counter. Only the bar counter separated you two. “I do…” you whispered, leaning over the counter, only about half a foot from Logan’s face, “...I see a whiskey that looks pretty damn good. Care to share?”
Logan chuckled and looked down at the liquid in the glass, swirling it around a bit. “You want a taste?” He nodded toward the stool next to him, pulling it out, “C’mere then.”
Playing this game with Logan was a good distraction from the pending decision you had to make. It reminded you of what you missed the most from your work: the chase.
You rounded the edge of the bar. Behind it, you could see how low Logan’s sweats rode his hips. His legs remained spread. You didn’t hesitate to take the stool next to him, your body fully facing him. Your leg slightly brushed his as you crossed your legs. You felt a sense of dominance watching Logan take a deep breath due to the slighted touch of your skin.
"I have to say, sweetheart, the sight of you all sleepy and in pants that are a bit too big on you?” Logan rumbled, slightly tugging the string of your hoodie, “You look damn good.”
You playfully slapped his hand, ignoring his comment. “Just give me the damn whiskey.”
Logan was amused by your little demand. Instead, he lifted the glass to his lips, taking another gulp. The glass was half full now. “Now, don’t you know I don’t respond well to demands, princess? Gotta ask nicely.”
“Fuck you,” you spat. The smile that still formed on your face felt like a betrayal to your tone.
“Oh, don’t worry…I’m sure I’ll be getting to that at some point but first…” He held the glass up, waving it in front of you like a taunt. “Ask nicely, use your manners, sweetheart…” His tone was a bit condescending.
He was shameless, but you were relentless.
You shifted your body, uncrossing your legs. You allowed your features to soften and a small smile to form, your head titled. Slightly looking up at Logan, you placed one hand on his knee, running your hand up his thigh and back down to his knee. Feeling emboldened by Logan’s strained exhale, you ran your hand back to his mid thigh. You leaned in a bit closer. “Please…”
Logan took another quick gulp of the whiskey and leaned in closer too. Your pleading eyes, soft smile, alluring touch—it was hard to determine if this was a well trained ruse that you used time and time again. Yet, he noticed how you looked at his bare chest and how yours would heave when your eyes traveled lower down his body. He knew you were just as affected by him as he was to you.
"Please what, princess? You gotta be more specific.” You didn’t even hear the storm outside anymore—just his husky tone resonating in your head.
“I need it,” you whispered, rubbing your hand on his thigh again. With a knowing smile, your brows furrow as if you had misspoke. In the short time Logan had known you, you never misspoke. “The whiskey, I mean…”
Logan smirked as you whispered and moved your hand on his skin. It felt damn good. He let out a slight grumble in response, enjoying how you were touching him, enjoying the tone of your voice as you spoke.
“You sure it’s the whiskey that you need?” The heel pulled your stool closer to his, your cheek almost brushing up against his. Your audible gasp caught yourself off guard. You were almost straddling his knee. Placing the whiskey glass on the counter, Logan firmly placed his larger hand over yours. Feeling his warm breath near your ear, you had to close your eyes to focus—to control your breath. “Or do you just need me?"
Logan leaned back from your ear, his darkened eyes meeting yours. Nothing about you was innocent, yet the way you were looking at him now said otherwise. You bit your lip as your eyes darted down to his lips. His hand faintly gripped yours. Logan wasn’t so sure if this was a game anymore.
Before he could make another move, Logan saw his whiskey glass come into his view as you brought it to your lips. The innocence in your eyes was completely washed away and replaced with pride as you took a deserved gulp from his glass. Logan looked down and could only laugh to himself. Removing your hand from his thigh, you used your foot on his stool to push yourself back from him, taking the glass with you.
“You know,” Logan began as he stood up, turning toward the cabinet. He pulled another glass and a half empty bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. “You could’ve just asked for your own, princess.”
You cracked your neck before finishing the drink. “What’s the fun in that?” you shrugged with a playful tone.
You held up your glass requesting more. Logan obliged by pouring you both fresh glasses. He sat again and brought the bottle with him. He leaned back to examine your change in demeanor. From a minute ago to now, it was like you were a different person. You feigned innocence with an ease that was jarring.
“Is that how you lured all those men?” Logan bluntly asked, tapping his glass. You weren’t surprised by his bluntness, but you never spoke about the work you did. Who the hell would you tell? “I think you could have convinced me to get a top floor suite with room service just now, sweetheart.”
“Every man is different,” you slowly began, running your finger along the rim of your glass. “Different motivations, different ticks, different tastes…I become a fantasy that feeds on those things.”
“And you think you’d miss it, don’t you?” Logan’s question was spoken almost in a teasing manner.
You nodded, taking a sip of your drink, “I would,” you admitted. Your body turned from Logan’s to fully face the counter. You placed your arms on the counter, “You think Charles would let me still do it if I became a great X-man.” You mocked Charles’s voice and tone.
Logan gruffly laughed before matching your body language. “Nah, he definitely wouldn’t.”
You knew this would be the answer; your question was virtually a joke. Besides the aspect of living in a school, joining a team, trying to be a part of some new found family—you couldn’t imagine not living the life you built for yourself, doing what you believed was justice. You didn’t know who would do it, if you didn’t.
“Like I said earlier, I get it, sweetheart,” Logan breathed, observing your profile. You peered back, brows raised. “You didn’t do shit that those bastards didn’t deserve.”
By never speaking about what you did, you believed you were avoiding judgment from others, avoiding their contorted faces of terror. You heard what news outlets would say once a body was discovered in the hotel suite the next morning. You heard the number of FBI profiles made up about you as you bounced from coast to coast. On social media, you were revered differently; you were the hero in some peoples’ eyes. Maybe even in Logan’s eyes.
You took a larger gulp of your whiskey than you intended, your face souring before bitterly swallowing it down. “I can’t be an X-man, Logan. The way Charles talked about you guys in the past…that’s not me. I can’t imagine being the doting professor who takes the moral high ground. I’m not a role model.”
Logan listened intently. You couldn’t read him as he took two larger drinks out of his glass. He deeply exhaled, “You can do whatever you want, sweetheart, but you think everyone here is perfect? Even Charles?”
You stayed quiet. This wasn’t the lecture you’d expect from Logan.
“You know how many times I’ve fucked up here? How many times I’m going to continue to fuck up?” You couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle at Logan’s own amusement about fucking up. “And we all got pasts, things we try to bury. These kids…they fuck up, too. They’ve done things they’d rather forget…they gotta know they’re capable of outliving their past.”
The sincerity in Logan’s eyes was new. There wasn’t a hint of lust or darkness that you witnessed earlier in his face or words. Thinking your heart would begin to race as you thought about your pending decision, you were surprised to feel like slowing down with Logan’s words. Knowing where Logan came from and the number of horrors he’d also witnessed made his endorsement all the more intriguing.
“And that’s why you’re awake now?” you pressed. “Hard to outrun your past when you sleep.”
Logan could only nod; you were right. Horrors had their way of finding him in the night, whether he was looking for them or not.
“They used to be worse.” He took a slow sip from his glass. You saw his jaw clench while he sat there in thought. “I freaked out once when I was dreamin’. Impaled a student who was just trying to wake me up.”
Your body stiffened due to his disclosure. The rumble of his voice was full of shame and regret. You sat in silence for a beat, waiting for Logan’s words to cut through the tension again.
“Her abilities saved her, but if that’d been anyone else…” His voice drifted off before a quick inhale through his nostrils.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to provide comfort, you simply weren’t sure how. Logan didn’t seem like the hugging type. You were sure he played the moment over and over in his brain until it was scratched like a record; what help could words do? Silence made you feel like you were avoiding his words, possibly rejecting him because of them. Comfort was a field you weren’t used to navigating.
“I’m sure that doesn’t help the nightmares,” you responded, a bit too blankly. “I mean—”
“You make different memories, confront the ones you hate,” his words overlapped yours. “And that only happens once you stop running. You were right before. I ran. I didn’t deal with Stryker, and you paid the price.”
You went to say something, but you felt your voice caught in your throat. You lips on sat slightly parted before you realized that all you mustered was a hard swallow of your whiskey.
“I’d like to think if I confronted him then, I wouldn’t be so tormented by it now, and you…” The concern and seriousness in his voice made your heart swell, a sensation you hadn’t felt in years. “I’m sorry.”
You had to look away from him momentarily, feeling more exposed than you intended. You remembered spending days cursing Logan every time you heard how he broke free years before Stryker ever found you. Knowing that he’d been struggling with that for years—willing to apologize—made you feel at least a little bit even.
Looking back at him, you saw that his look had not wavered. Feeling more exposed, you did what you did best.
“You’re really working overtime to make sure I’m here long enough to fall for your charms, Howlett.” You flashed another soft smile, hoping to alter the mood again.
Logan almost finished his drink in two additional gulps and shook his head, “I think you’d do better here than you think. Maybe even stop running from something good for once.” His tone was soft yet serious as he evaded your playful banter. For the first time in decades, you were experiencing an unfamiliar feeling.
Hope.
You raised your glass up, nodding toward Logan’s glass for him to do the same. He did as he was instructed. “Here’s to probably fucking things up.”
Logan’s lips curved into a smile as the glasses clinked, signaling a resonating decree. You both downed the rest of the drinks before setting them down on the counter. You looked over at him again to appreciate how his jaw tightened as the harsh liquid moved down his throat. There was a comfort that existed by simply watching him, sitting in the temporary silence.
“Thank you, Logan.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you slid off the stool, placing your glass in the sink. You turned toward the way you came to end back to your room.
“And for the record,” you heard Logan start as you approached the threshold of the hallway. You turned on your heels to face him again. From the growing half-smile, you knew what kind of comment you were in for, “I don’t need the overtime. I gotcha right where I want ya, princess.”
Feeling more in your element, you tried containing the grin from your lips, “If you did, I’d be going to your room, not mine, Wolvie.”
For the second time, you wished him good night, leaving him with his thoughts of you.
When you awoke the next morning, it was a little later than you anticipated. The clock on your night stand read 9:23 AM. It was the sound of children stomping near your door that acted as an alarm.
The laughing and giggling of schoolchildren was not your usual wake up call, but you hadn’t gotten sleep like that in a while.
After quickly freshening up in the conjoining bathroom, you changed into your jeans and t-shirt from the night before. Peaking your head outside your door, you saw a few strangling kids run down the hall, presumably to their morning classes.
For some reason, you expected to see Logan out here, somewhere. Maybe it was because of your multiple conversations last night; he felt inescapable. But maybe you weren’t complaining either.
When people spoke of chemistry, you always thought it was silly. Your fake chemistry with enough men that when they thought you had a real connection, this energy, this heat, you wanted to double over in laughter. There was certain enjoyment you got with flirting with a target, feeling like you were getting one up on them with each glance, word, and touch. With Logan, it just felt…different.
“Late start?” You turned your head to the left, seeing Charles two doors down from you. The soft smile that he had was slightly smug as well. It was as if he already knew what your decision was. Perhaps he knew you were up late with Logan.
You leisurely approached Charles with a nod, “If that is your way of asking if I slept well, then the answer is yes.” He began moving, signaling you to move with him down the empty hall. “I’m assuming you came down to see if I had run off again?”
“You do seem to make a habit of it, my dear,” he remarked. In the past, you had stayed at the mansion but you decided to duck out under the cover of night. You always left a note of apology to Charles. Seeing you here during a brand new day meant something, even if you weren’t ready to admit it to yourself. Charles knew. “But you’ve stayed.”
Charles was bringing you outside to the back of the mansion. Although it was very much on the nose, the grass did seem to be greener here. Not just greener, but the garden was vibrating with color from the flora and fauna. You stood on the concrete outlook, pressing your arms against the surface in front of you.
“I stayed…and you want my answer.” It wasn’t a question.. You couldn’t see Charles as he sat slightly behind you, both of you taking in the scenery. “My life, what I do now…that would have to end, wouldn’ it? I can’t exist in both worlds. That life would end?” You knew Charles’s answer, but you’d be remiss if you didn’t at least ask.
“That life—your life isn’t ending. It’d simply be evolving.”
You fell silent for a moment, still captured in the scenery ahead of you. You didn’t just have Charles’s words echoing in your mind. You had Logan’s, too.
“I think you’d do better here than you think. Maybe even stop running from something good for once.”
Something good.
You turned back to Charles, your back leaning against the guardrail. A deep breath exhaled from your chest as you nodded, “My apartment lease is almost up, so why not? Call me an X-man, I guess.”
You could act as non-chalant as you wanted, but Charles knew this decision wasn’t made lightly by you. Your word was bond, and it had been for 20 years.
Solidified by a handshake, Charles brought you back into the mansion. You didn’t need the typical tour. You and Charles discussed the logistics of your move into the mansion as he simply showed you what was new from your last visit. The more you both talked, laughed, joked, you felt more secure in your decision. Yet, those lingering voices in your head—the ones that held you back before—they still persisted.
Making your way back to the main level, the bells in the hallways sounded off. Students quickly began flooding the halls again, their talking and chattering bounced down the hall. You saw the familiar faces of Storm and Scott in the halls as well, talking with some older students; it had been years since you’d seen them as well. They both looked over toward you and Charles, a tinge of surprise and amusement was revealed from their expressions.
You playfully matched your expressions, knowing it’d be a fun conversation to have later. As much as you rejected the idea of being an X-men in the past, the rejection wasn’t because of the people; if anything, they made the rejection a little harder.
Charles and you agreed to give you the week to begin moving your things into the mansion, giving you time to adjust. Again, he welcomed you before moving away down the hallway. You began to make your way over to Storm and Scott before you felt a hand on your shoulder.
“You coming or going now, princess?” Logan’s voice was unmistakable at this point. It had echoed in your head enough over the last day to make an impression.
Turning to meet his stare, you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face, “Princess? That’s fellow X-man to you.”
Admittedly, that was the best news you could have given Logan. After watching you leave the kitchen last night, his thoughts were consumed by you. Your charming voice, your lingering touch, your alluring presence, it was enough to keep him up longer than he intended. Logan couldn’t nail what exact fantasy you were creating for him to make him this drawn to you, but at least he’d have more time to figure it out now.
He crossed his bulky arms with a small smile as he looked down at you, “Yeah? Figured you’d miss me too damn bad?”
Remembering that you were surrounded by passing children in the hallway, you kept your comments very subtle. “Not as much as you’d miss me, Wolvie.”
note: Unsure how many parts this will be! Tell me your thoughts of if you wanna be tagged ♡
𓆩♡𓆪 Next part
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Muichiro Tokito- Remember
Warnings: Angst Sandwich! Canon typical violence
Angst-Fluff-ANGST
I had an urge to write this thought
Welp this has been in my drafts for months figured I might as well post it
Sort of part 2
—————————-
You loved Muichiro and Muichiro loved you. Every moment you two could, you spent together, hand in hand, everywhere. Anyone who knew either of you knew that where one of you was the other was sure to follow. Everyday was blissful. Pure, kind, and sweet.
You’d always get flowers and candy from him, always your favorites and you’d give him his favorites. He was so sweet and kind, never forgetting a thing about you. Oh, how in love you two were.
Until it happened. Yuichiro died. He was killed, by a demon. Muichiro’s memories were gone. He didn’t remember anything or anyone, not even you. You tried to remind him. Oh, how you tried. He didn’t know you, and he simply didn’t care.
Then you were separated. Muichiro went off to kill demons, not even sparing you a goodbye. Then again, perhaps you were the one foolish enough to wish for a goodbye from the boy who didn’t even know you.
You had decided then what you were going to do. Maybe it was a suicide mission, or perhaps it was a foolish desire to see him again, at least once. You had chosen to join the demon slayer corps.
It was two years before you saw Muichiro again. You spent days and hours just training, you survived the final selection, killing every demon that passed your path. You let your sadness and rage consume you, ruthlessly killing any demon.
By the time you became a hashira you had killed well over one hundred demons, but you refused to become a hashira until you’d taken down at least one of the twelve kizuki. Then the day came. You encountered the Lower Moon 6 and after a tough battle you came out on top, though you had some permanent scars down your arm.
Now finally, finally, to the delight of Ubayaka-sama, you had decided to become a hashira.
All the Hashira were present for your initiation ceremony, many were wary, for they had heard stories from the ones who were partnered with you on your missions. How you’re ruthless in killing demons yet so very kind off the battlefield.
Once you reached the ceremony, to your surprise, Muichiro was there. A hashira, how were you even surprised, you’d expect nothing less from your Muichiro. Not that he was yours anymore.
Everyone was kind and welcoming in their own way, surprisingly enough to everyone you became fast friends with Sanemi, well, as close as you could get to being friends with Sanemi anyways. Muichiro was a different story
Muichiro was always spacing out and he would forget things. He still adored looking at the clouds, often he’d steal you away from your training to gaze at the sky with him, that was all before of course.
He didn’t remember you, which stung more than you thought.
Walking around the hashira compound you thought on what to do. You were unsure of whether you should remind Mui of who you were or if you should leave him alone.
Lost in thought, you didn’t notice the boy in front of you. Pausing your stride only, when you had run into Muichiro.
“Oh! Sorry!” You said to Muichiro, apologetically.
“It’s alright,” he responded his tone soft, like he was here, but he wasn’t. He reached his hand forward towards you, not noticing the look of shock on your face. “You have a leaf in your hair”.
You tried to calm your heart as Muichiro plucked a leaf out of your hair. You weren’t sure what your poor heart had expected, or why it was beating so very fast.
After that, you and Muichiro would somehow end up seeing each other often. May it be in the halls or simply around the compound, you’d end up running into each other all the time. Maybe that’s why you made such a foolish decision. Maybe that’s why you decided, that you would try to win his heart, once again.
Whenever you’d see Muichiro now, you’d give him his favorite snacks or maybe his favorite flowers. You’d think of him on your missions and bring him back little trinkets from wherever you went.
Perhaps that’s how Muichiro came to like you again too. Secretly he enjoyed receiving your little gifts, enjoyed the attention. He actively sought you out, never admitting to it of course.
He’d be around you when he didn’t have a mission, following and waiting for whatever you had to say to him next. He’d watch the clouds with you when you two just felt like being lazy. He’d let you play with his hair when you were feeling down, adoring the way you’d smile when you were done styling it.
A few weeks later, you and Muichiro were closer than ever. Once he was back from his mission you were thinking of confessing to him again. Your thoughts drifted off to him once again, like they often did when he was gone. Though this time, your crow broke you out of your thoughts. It cawed at you, telling you to report back to Ubayaka-sama for another mission.
You reported back to the demon slayer headquarters, met with a hoard of about 10 demon slayers of the lower ranks. Entering Ubayaka-sama’s room you got down on your knees and payed your respects to him. As he let you rise, he explained the situation, there was an unranked and unreported threat on a peak not far from here and he needed you to go exterminate any demons, the lower ranked slayers were also being sent with you due to a shortage of the higher ranks.
The journey there was short once you had gathered the essentials, the other slayers good company on the way there. Yet you still missed Muichiro, you looked forward to him being back, to spending more time with him. You really did love him.
You reached the small mountain with the others and climbed half way up, pausing immediately. The hairs on your neck stood up straight, something felt wrong, dangerous. Though you had paused, half your group hadn’t, perhaps the ones used to hashira’s doing their own things.
It took only a moment for their bodies to be sliced in half. They didn’t even have a chance to scream. Blood drenched into the ground where they had once stood. Five bright and capable demon slayers, gone in the blink of an eye. Two screamed and tried to run the other direction, their heads were severed from their bodies. All that was left were you and three others, one of whom was hurling into the bushes right next to them.
You had to calm down, you had to focus. As the next one was killed, you spotted it. The weapon of murder. Small quick blades stabbing growing then retracting, slicing through your fellow demon slayers. As the blades retracted, you followed it back, yelling at the remaining two demon slayers to hide behind trees and get shelter. You dodged through the ones being shot out at you. Finally you reached the source, a vaguely humanized demon with six arms and legs made of goo. The blades that killed your comrades grew and retracted from his teeth.
The battle was hard fought, your stamina was running out. You had him, you nearly had him. Your blade was so close to his neck. So why? Why had one of the demon’s blades pierced your flesh, hitting vital organs and twisting on the way out. You were going to die. You were going to die and you wouldn’t be able to protect anyone. You wouldn’t be able to protect Muichiro. Muichiro. You’d miss him.
Just as you’d accepted your fate becoming demon food, a blur of blue and black flashed behind it. A slice and the demon was dead. Muichiro. He was here. He ran to you and held you in his arms. He was warm. Oh so warm.
“Muichiro,” your voice called out weakly, “you’re here. Before I die Mui, I have to tell you”
“Stop talking, it wastes energy. And you’re not going to die.” He cut you off as he wrapped a torn off strip of his haori around your midsection.
“I love you.” You knew you weren’t going to make it out of this so you have to tell him now while you still could. You had loved him as long as you could remember.
Your breaths are shallow and weak. Chest barely rising again. You were going to die. Die because he was a bit too late to save you. Just a minute that’s all it would’ve taken. Suddenly Muichiro remembered, memories of you and him came flooding back to him. Memories he didn’t even know he had.
“Muichiro,” you called again, snapping him out of his reverie. “please don’t forget me”
With that his attention was solely on you again as you bled out. You didn’t open your mouth again. Your eyes glossed over. You didn’t take another breath. You were dead. You had died in his arms. And there was nothing he could do about it.
“I love you too” He said, with tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t tell you that earlier. Why did he never tell you that earlier? Why why why. He had months, ages to tell you. So why now when you were dead and gone. He’d never get to hear your voice, your laugh. He’d never get to see your adoration filled eyes as you looked at him. He’d never get to feel your touch again, your hands playing with your hair softly.
He loves you, he always will. You used your last bit of strength to ask him not to forget you. A waste. After all, what good was his memory if he wasn’t to remember you? Remember you he would, he’d rather die than not.
#x reader#fanfic#kny#kny x reader#kny fanfic#kimetsu no yaiba#kny muichiro#muichiro tokito#kny muichiro tokito#kny Muichiro Tokito x reader#demon slayer#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x unspecified reader#demon slayer muichiro#muichiro x reader#kimetsu muichiro#tokitō muichirō#muichiro fluff#muichiro x you#muichiro x y/n#demon slayer tokito#kny tokitou#Muichiro#tokito x reader#tokito#kimestu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba muichiro#kimetsu no yaiba Muichiro tokito
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Swipe (Lucifer Morningstar x reader) part 2
Description: after talking to a man name Luca for a few weeks, during your first date your greeted my a unsuspected man…
RAHHHH
Am I starting this legit like 2 hours after posting the first chapter yes
I genuinely love this story and I can’t wait for this part
Next chapter is a smut ;)
Warnings: lying, apologizing for said lying, first date, angst (like 0.0001%), make out sesh
⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧
Lucifer’s POV
I was hesitant, why was I so nervous? I stood outside restaurant, looking at the door. This was a mistake…I was getting ready to leave when I felt a Buzz in my pocket. I pull my phone out to see a message from you.
Y/N - Hey! I just sat down! We have a really nice table, are you almost here? :)
I staired at the message Y/N sent, I didn’t realize I wasn’t breathing until I finally let out a breath, a raspy sigh left his lips “you have to do this..” i said quietly before walking inside the establishment. The moment i walked him all eyes were on me, considering I’m not out in public much so it is expected. I made my way over to hostess stand to see the host staring at me, she looked terrified.
“Hi I have a reservation, my party member should are ready be here.” She staired at me for a few seconds longer before being dragged back to reality, “of course! Come with me!” She said as the rounded the corner to the bustling dining room, almost immediately eyes are on me, now more then ever was I happy I reserved a more private area, she let me to the archway leading to a separate and smaller dinning room, “right through this door sir please enjoy!” She said as quickly as she left. I let out a breath before walking through the archway, and there they were…
It felt as if time had stop, this was really happening. All of a sudden a wave of nerves washed over me, but through the nerves I spoke. “sorry I’m late..” I said, my voice full of nerves. When I spoke their eyes left their phone, when they saw me their E/C eyes sudden slightly, their posture changing from casual to nervous.
No ones POV
Y/N looked up to see the face of the king of hell it’s self. They had a wave of nerves wash over them, the air felt thick. “Hi um,” Y/N started to say, clearly nervous. “Sorry I think they sat me at the wrong table I’m sorry your-“
“No your not” Lucifer said as he sat down at the table. Y/N still looked confused, why was Lucifer sitting across the table from them? Before they could get a word out to question him, Lucifer spoke, “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, just let me explain...” he started, clearly nervous.
“I…” Lucifer stopped for a moment, hesitating, “I know this isn’t easy to explain but I need to come clean and apologize. A few weeks ago I started to reconnect with my daughter Charlie, and she wanted to help me meet someone…so she signed me up for Viva…and..” he said moving his eyes up to meet theirs, trying to read a reaction as the continued. “I lied about who I am..being the king of hell on a sight like that, who in the hell knows what would happen, so…I used a fake name.”
Lucifer was watching Y/N’s eyes, seeing a lot of shock, he understood where they were coming from. Lucifer looked at their eyes, Y/N stated quite for a few more seconds before speaking up. “So…the whole time I was talking to you?” They asked quietly. Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
Everything clicked in Y/N’s head, it was so obvious. L.M, having a daughter named Charlie, his divorce being at the same time. As Lucifer’s and Liliths. Y/N stay quiet, the room had a uncomfortable silence before Lucifer broke it, “I know it’s wrong now and I shouldn’t have done that, and I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me again but you have a right to know.” Lucifer said quietly, clearly preparing for the worst. Y/N face went from surprised at the facts to a warm smile “I’m not mad, I’m happy you told me early on..” they said, reaching over the table taking his hand in theirs
Lucifer’s eyes widen and lit up see their hands touch his, the nerves washed away, he couldn’t help but smile. “But, everything else you said was true right?” Y/N asked with a small laugh. “It was the only thing I promise!” Lucifer almost blurred out in reassurance. Y/N laughed as his reaction, they loved how dorky he was.
The rest of the date went off without a hitch, he was such a gentleman. They talked about everything, their interest, their family and passions. Along with the amazing food, Y/N could happily say this was the best date they’ve been on, love or dead. Lucifer couldn’t help but be infatuated with every word that left their mouth, they were perfect…the apple of his eye.
Soon it turned late into the night, the red sky turning a dark crimson, soon they were both outside on the now dead street. “I had a great time tonight.” Y/N said to him turning to face him, Lucifer felt his heart skip a beat. “Anything for you dove” Y/N face got flushed at his little name. Lucifer stepped closer, their bodies inches apart. “So, you’re not mad right?” Lucifer ask them softly.
Y/N knew he needed that reassurance, Y/N took his hand his in theirs intertwining their fingers. Their face had a soft expression fully of love. “I’m not…I could never be mad at you..” Y/N said their eyes moving their eyes from their hands to his eyes, seeing the gloss in them…his eyes could illuminate a room. They staired at each other for a few seconds before he moved in closer. Lucifer’s eyes were begging for permission.
Y/N smiled before closing the distance, their lips finally connecting, It was a sweet passionate kiss. He was quick to wrap his arms around their waist, pulling them closer. Y/N’s hands made their way to both sides of his face, feeling his soft skin and perfect hair, It was all perfect.
After what felt like an eternity, their lips a few inches apart. They could feel each others breaths, Y/N pulled him in closer burying her face into his neck. “Take me home with you..” they said quietly. Lucifer’s face when crimson red and those five words. He didn’t say a word, the tighten the grip around their waist as red smoke in golfed them both…disappearing.
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Take Your Breath Away
Ticci Toby x Gender Neutral Reader
Genre: Smut
Summary: Toby is a nasty son of a bitch and pulls a terrifying trick on you
Content/Warnings: Nonconsensual breath play (the sex is consensual, the suffocation is not), bondage, Toby is a mean and nasty motherfucker, Reader almost passes out, homicidal undertones, a wee bit of degradation, listen it’s one of MY toby fics i feel like that’s a warning in and of itself, no genitalia specified for Reader, Reader and Toby are already in a relationship
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
A/N: Just to avoid confusion, in my headcanon Toby has a stutter as well as but separate from his tourette’s; i’m writing his stutter, not his tics! thankies!
It was no secret to you that Toby had some…odd “interests”. It wasn’t a secret to anyone, really. You could probably guess it just by looking at him. However, for the most part he’d been rather proficient at practicing restraint. Of course, that’s not to say he didn’t stare when you weren’t looking, and he certainly let his twitchy hands linger over your neck for a bit too long when he pulled you in. Maybe you should have kept a closer eye on him, but after getting so used to his unusual demeanor it was easy to simply brush it off. You noticed him staring throughout the day, sure, and you were definitely a bit put off when he refused to let you pull away from a kiss that had gone on for much too long, giggling to himself as you fought to catch your breath.
You really should’ve at least wondered what was up when he silently walked up behind you while you were at the counter, wrapping a strong hand around your neck without warning. You could feel him grinning against your neck as he greeted you with a hushed laugh that made you shiver. He let go when you managed choke out his name, pulling you into him by the waist as if nothing had happened. You were naturally perplexed when he walked away, but he didn’t seem to think anything of it. Why should you?
He was playful, that was all, you thought. He was mischievous and liked to push his limits to see how you’d react; it was how he learned, seeing as he was never quite in tune with social cues. It was all in good fun, you figured, even if it had been a bit startling.
Despite what you told yourself, there was no denying the malicious glint in his eyes when he posed you a jarring question:
“Would you l-let me tie you up?”
You stood quickly from where you were crouched, busy rummaging through a cabinet until Toby had violently grabbed your attention. It was out of the blue, completely unprompted, enough to have you staring at him slack-jawed in stunned silence. When you couldn’t conjure a response fast enough, he repeated his question.
“Would you let me t-tie you up?”
“W…What?”
You tilted your head in confusion, trying to wrap your mind around what could have possibly brought him to this thought.
“Just say yes or no: If I wanted t-to tie you up, would you let me?”
You struggled for a few moments more, your face beginning to feel unbearably hot.
“I mean…I— I guess? Sure?” You replied, your eyes nervously scanning Toby’s face in an attempt to ascertain anything about what he could possibly be thinking.
“Good, thanks.” He replied curtly before turning on his heel and leaving the room.
He left you standing alone, completely dumbfounded. When he didn’t return and you couldn’t form the foggiest idea of what had just happened, you sighed in defeat and returned to your task. You couldn’t really complain; you knew what you were signing up for with Toby.
Well…you sort of knew.
He was certainly a wild card. You’d think you’d have learned to expect the unexpected by now.
It took only a couple days for Toby to bring the topic up again, this time practically cornering you in your bedroom. You always felt small around Toby with his six foot four towering frame, but you felt particularly vulnerable when he has that hungry look in his eyes he always got when he really, really wanted something.
“I’ve g-got a surprise for yooouuu!” He announced, one hand behind his back to conceal whatever it was he was so excited about. “Lay down on your stomach. Quickly.”
You almost hesitated, but you were so morbidly curious you simply had to know what he was hiding. You didn’t take your eyes off of him, though.
You laid down on the bed and rested your head on your arms, watching as Toby climbed on top of you to straddle your waist. You winced when he roughly pulled your arms behind you, quickly binding them together with the rope he’d been hiding behind his back. He gave one last tug to the bindings to test them, then sat back to admire his work.
“Looks g-good on you…” He muttered, and you’d be ashamed to admit it made you a bit flustered.
He turned you over, and you were immediately greeted with the sight of his crooked smile spread wide across his face. You tried to return it, but something about it was deeply unsettling. You shuddered under the unblinking, unrelenting gaze of his dark hazel eyes.
Really, what did you have to be so nervous about? You really couldn’t shake the feeling that he was planning something, but that was irrational. You trusted Toby, didn’t you?
You did, of course. It was silly to even consider otherwise.
You happily kissed him back when he leaned down over you. He pulled away from the kiss slowly, and for a split second you caught that dark swirl of something sinister in his eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared.
It was as if locking eyes with him put you in a trance, and it felt like only a few seconds had passed between that quiet kiss and the scene of debauchery that was unfolding now.
Toby has you in his lap, his heaving chest against your back. His jittery hands have an iron grip on your hips, effortlessly bouncing you on his cock as if you weighed nothing. His heavy breath fans over your glistening skin and makes you shiver with delight.
“S-Sooo tight—“ He whispers to you with a shuddering voice. He certainly isn’t worrying about hiding his voice, more than content to pant and moan in your ear without any ounce of shame. Your hands strain against your bindings as you struggle to keep it together. It felt like every time he thrusted up into up into you he hit even deeper than before, leaving no spot untouched.
“You okay there, p-pretty thing?” Toby asks over your shoulder. You manage a nod and a weak hum in response, but any attempt at words would melt into a pitiful noise of desperation.
Toby absolutely adores seeing you like this. It gives him such a wonderful rush of confidence to hold such power over you, the power to reduce you to a trembling mess with his bare hands. The best part, though, was how willingly you allowed him to abuse that power.
You were the perfect plaything, hardly every questioning anything he did, at least not out loud. You were completely pliant in your own destruction, even if you hadn’t been made aware of it just yet.
He adjusts you in his hold, allowing him to slowly trail one hand up your body. His fingers drum against your sides in a fidgety manner as they ghost over your skin. You don’t notice what he’s doing until you feel him stroke your cheek with the back of his hand.
“Deep breaths, sweet thing, d-deep breaths…”
The words should be reassuring, relaxing even, but something threatening has creeped into his voice and is practically spilling through his toothy grin. You lock eyes with him for a brief second, holding back a gasp when you see the unmistakable darkness swirling in his eyes.
Suddenly a freakishly strong hand clamps over your nose and mouth, holding tight and immediately making your heart drop. Your air supply has been effectively cut off in an instant. Your first instinct is to fight Toby’s unfaltering hold, but you quickly find it to be pointless.
“Don’t fight it, d-don’t fight…” Toby mumbles against your neck. “You’ll only t-tire yourself out…”
He hasn’t even stopped thrusting into you, seemingly taking enjoyment in watching you squirm in distress when you both know there’s nothing you can do. Each thrust knocks a bit more air out of you, and you can already feel yourself becoming dizzy.
As you slowly lose the strength to fight, Toby only becomes more and more enthusiastic.
“Ahah…y-you’re so cute like this. I wonder if I-I can make you cum before you pass out…you think you can manage that?”
You hardly process his words, but whether or not you heard him doesn’t matter; you can’t so much as nod or shake your head in reply. Toby doesn’t need a response, though. He’s more than content to listen to himself talk.
“Y-You know I could never kill you, right?” Toby asks, but the question is not reassuring in the slightest. “No, no…I-I could never…but maybe I w-want to see what you look like when everything g-goes dark. Does that s-scare you?”
You use the last of your breath to let out a desperate whimper, but Toby merely smiles in response. Your heartbeat is unbearably loud in your ears, so much so that it’s starting to block out his voice.
“I b-bet it does,” He continues, unbothered. “You know what I-I am and yet…you willingly let m-me use you like this. Do you h-have any idea what I could do to y-you? Do you even care?”
He’s mocking you, and it stings just a bit. He’s got a point, though. I mean, what person in their right mind would be so eager to please an openly homicidal maniac? Maybe you weren’t much saner than him, all things considered…
Maybe you should have expected this.
You really start to panic when black spots start forming in your vision, dark ashen circles burning into your sight. Toby hasn’t missed a beat even once, watching you intently with crazed eyes that see every little twitch or slight move. Your vision is overtaken by the darkness all too fast and yet agonizingly slow, drawn out to a cruel degree. You can feel the last shreds of strength leaving your body, and for a moment there’s a flicker of acceptance that there really is nothing you can do, though it’s quickly washed away by your distress. There’s a split second where you’re nearly blind, only able to see the smallest shards of light, and if Toby hadn’t decided to pull his hand away right then and there you surely would have passed out.
When you finally feel him let you go you inhale on instinct, nearly sobbing with relief when your lungs finally fill with air again. You cough and heave as you fight for your breath with all you can. For a few moments you don’t notice that Toby has stopped moving his hips completely, now more invested in observing you. Your eyes watered as you struggled to calm your sporadic breathing.
“T…Toby—“ You call weakly, barely managing to speak. In response his hips twitch, reminding you that his length is still throughly nestled inside of you. You grit your teeth to hold back a broken moan.
“Heheh, did you k-know you get this…this f-funny look in your eye when you’re scared?” He asks, but you know he’s not really interested in an answer. You couldn’t give one anyways.
He adjusts your position in his lap once more, making you tense up as you feel him shift inside of you. He begins to drag a hand up your chest just as you’ve managed to calm your breathing, and it quickly finds itself dangerously close to your neck.
“T-Toby, wait—“ You begin to plead, but he quickly cuts you off.
“Shhhh, shhhh…Don’t f-fight me, pretty thing. Just let me play w-with you a bit longer…”
#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby smut#toby rogers#ticci toby#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta smut#creepypasta masterlist#gender neutral reader#ticci toby x reader smut#creepypasta x reader smut
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Now That We Don't Talk | Frank Castle x F!Reader
BONUS FIC
See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Read Is It Over Now? for better clarity.
Pairing: Frank Castle x F!Reader (past Matt Murdock x F!Reader)
Summary: You go home with the guy from the bar, and he makes you forget about your ex.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), oral f!receiving, use of "attagirl", slight Dom!Frank, song references, unprotected p in v, dirty talk
Word Count: 2.9k
A/n: You wanted a part 2, so you're getting a part 2! Anyway, I don't write Frank often, so I hope it isn't too bad. It's also not as spicy as you probably expected, but I wanted this to fit the vibe of the previous fic (link above). You don't need to have read it to understand this, but it is highly recommended because some references might confuse you. Thank you all for taking part in this event!
You believed that your life had ended when you lost him. He painted your world in the brightest colors, but by breaking your heart, he took them away. All that was left to see was a boring shade of gray in a sea of sadness.
Matt told you from the start that being with him wouldn’t be easy. You were willing to try. He needed someone, and you wanted to be that someone to him. You accepted him unconditionally.
In the end, giving everything wasn’t enough. He chose her over you, and the castle you two had built came crashing down on you while he stood idly by.
You’re not a bitter person, you have never been, but he made you fall for him; he made you believe that there was hope for the future and that you would grow old together. He stole years of your life in which you were trying to save him from himself. In return, he took the best care of you, but that doesn’t matter much now that he has taken your heart and shattered it like a glass of red wine on a white cloth.
When you left him, you thought the distance would kill you. You truly believed that this was the end of everything, not just your relationship with the man you thought was the one but yourself as well. “This isn’t what it looks like!” he said the day you found out the ugly truth.
“I trusted you,” you remember saying. You couldn’t even cry. The pain burned brighter than the sun, and it dried your eyes before they could even shed a tear.
He argued with you that, “It was just a kiss,” but you not once believed him.
“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause if I ask Elektra, I’m sure she will tell me the truth.”
“No.”
It was at that moment you lost all of your trust in him—in what could have been or should have been the two of you, forever—and it was also the moment that Matt realized he had lost you.
You believed that he took everything you ever were that day because your life revolved around him, and only him.
You remember him opening his mouth, having the audacity to apologize. “I’m sorry,” he said, begging you not to leave.
“Fuck you!” you had never sworn at him until that day.
You still remember the way the necklace with his initial felt when you tore it off your neck and tossed it at his feet. He knew you better than anyone, and you felt like you finally belonged somewhere. That necklace was a symbol of your undying love, or so you thought, anyway. Now you know that he may have known you to some extent, but you didn’t matter enough for him not to climb into bed with his ex-girlfriend.
You couldn’t even look at the necklace. He told you, “This is a piece of my heart,” when he gave it to you on a snowy Christmas Day three years ago. You cherished it the same way you cherished his soul. He was broken, but he was your broken man. He was everything to you.
Matt Murdock was your moon, your son, and your entire universe. It all seemed far away that you could ever feel about anyone this way again.
You saw a future with him. Married, a house in the suburbs, and working with Foggy and Karen in their new law office after everything they’ve been through. You were a hopeful person back then.
Karen told you that he went to a party a couple of weeks after you separated. He didn’t look like himself. You wonder if he felt anxious, knowing his only source of comfort was no longer there. You wouldn’t know until you asked him, but you refused to answer his calls.
Part of you felt euphoric, knowing that he was broken too, but you also felt angry because he was the reason you found your heart beyond repair as he stepped on it like a burning cigarette, and in your mind, he had no right to feel this way.
You’re a fucking traitor, Matthew Murdock! I wish we’d never met.
“Another one for the lady,” a voice says beside you.
Your empty glass of tequila disappears and a full one slides in its place. In your drunken haze, you see a head of brown hair, and his smirk makes you wonder if there’s more to him than he lets on.
“Thank you,” you murmur, tipping your glass to the stranger.
“Nah, don’t thank me.” He gets up from his seat and sits down on the empty bar stool next to you. “You look miserable,” he says.
“What if I am?”
“I’d tell you I know the feeling.”
You huff but offer the stranger your hand. You introduce yourself.
He smiles. Your name rolls off his tongue effortlessly. “Frank,” he introduces himself in return. “Castle.”
“Nice to meet you,” you say.
You thought nothing and no one could pull you out of the dark hole your breakup tossed you into. You believed yourself dead and long beyond the point of redemption. You accepted it. You swallowed in your misery, giving up on finding a new purpose in your life because the one great thing you had was no longer yours. He fell into a grave that he dug for himself, and he dragged your relationship down with him.
Looking into Frank’s eyes now though, you no longer feel like a corpse. And you realize that you are not dead, not at all—you are very much alive.
The door almost breaks off its hinges when Frank shoves you into his apartment and back against it. The decision to come back to his place was fueled by a lot of alcohol and the way he looked at you. You were desperate to feel something other than the hollow ache that has consumed you every day for months. His eyes told you that he may be able to give you just what you need, no strings attached.
The way he kisses you breathes new life into your mangled soul. He swallows your mouth and your needy moans with his own, and his tongue forces itself down your throat as your teeth clash in a fight for dominance. You’re both tipsy, but he seems to know just what he’s doing.
His calloused fingers burn against your skin. In the back of your mind, Matt is still so present. His hands are the ones you can’t help but compare him to.
The way he used to kiss you before fucking you into the mattress for hours on end, switching between tasting and fingering you until you were whimpering and begging him for release might have screwed you up forever. He told you one night that he wanted to ruin you for any other man. Back then, you both still believed that you would grow old together.
It is truly ironic how fast things change when you are truly happy and believe that nothing can burst your bubble.
Frank’s large hands brace against the door on either side of your head. His lips disappear from yours. “Who is he?” he asks, his voice rough like gravel.
You meet his eyes, unsure of what to say. Your mind is everywhere but here, and yet it is right with him. Whether it is alcohol or self-loathing, you’re not sure.
“What?” you whisper.
“You’re trynna forget someone. Who is it?”
He is a lot more perceptive than you thought.
You swallow, blood rushing to your head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t–” you didn’t what? Think? You feel utterly pathetic.
Instead of throwing you out though, like you expected he would, he reaches out to caress your cheek. His eyes soften as they gaze at you. “Whoever he is, he obviously didn’t treat you right,” he says. “If you want to go, I’m not stoppin’ you, but if you wanna forget whoever is fuckin’ with your head, I’ll make damn sure you forget his name by the end of tonight.”
There is something excitingly terrifying about the look in his eyes. A shiver runs down your spine, and your thighs clench at the thought of feeling his hands somewhere other than your face. Somewhere other than your hips and thighs. His kisses knocked the air out of your lungs. You want more, you need more, but you don’t know if you can take it. Not him—even though you’re also not quite sure if you can take him—but also the offer he is presenting to you. As lucrative as it sounds, fuck, you are not over Matt. And you’re not sure if you can ever forget him.
You want to though. You have to. And you want to be thoroughly fucked into the next day and forget the name of the man that makes you so fucking angry.
“Talk to me,” Frank coaxes your head toward him. “Do you wanna forget the useless bastard that made you feel this way?”
“Yes,” you manage a breathless whisper.
“Did he hurt you? Break your heart?”
You nod.
“You deserve better.” His grip tightens, and his hand slowly slides to your neck. “I’m not, but I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll forget his name and scream mine loud enough for this fuckin’ city to know who’s making you feel good. ‘s that what you want, hm?”
He’s dangerous, but that has never turned you off, even when it should have.
And when you finally open your mouth and tell him, “Yes, please. Make me forget,” the switch inside of him flicks completely.
He takes his time to worship between your thighs. His tongue buried in your pussy, his lips sucking on your clit without mercy. He eats you out roughly but sensually, keeping you spread wide open for him with both of his hands and a force unmatched—like a five-course meal, and he has all the time in the world for you.
You’re lost in the throes of pleasure. You want to buck your hips against his mouth because no matter what he does, you’re on fire and you just can’t get enough, but he is so powerful that you can’t fight him. He has you at his mercy, your body in his hands, and all the control in the world over you.
You pull at his hair, moaning helplessly as he feasts on your pussy. You’re going mad, you’re sure. He’s doing this on purpose, driving you to the edge before stopping the wave. Frank waits until your orgasm is just far enough for you to last a little longer, kissing the inside of your thighs, and then he dives right back into your wet folds. He thrusts his tongue into your hole, licks up to your clit, and then sucks on the swollen bundle until your legs are shaking in his hands.
“Jesus, Frank!” you moan out. A trail of sweat runs from your temple down to your breasts.
Your hands search for something to hold onto, tangling in the sheets and the pillow behind your head before pulling at the fabric. You tried pulling at his hair, but he wouldn’t let you.
“That’s right,” he growls. “Come for me.”
Your back arches off the mattress. His name leaves your lips in a desperate shout as your orgasm crashes into you.
“Attagirl.”
Your brain is hulled into an endless fog, but Frank doesn’t stop.
Soon, you’re on your stomach, gripping the headboard as he pounds into you from behind. He is long and thick, and with every thrust, he forces your face deeper into the pillows. Your eyes have rolled back into your head. He hits that spongy spot inside of you whenever he pleases, and the gurgled moans from the pit of your throat spur him on to speed up, change the angle and thrust even deeper.
He pulls out all the way, thrusting back into you with full force until he is completely sheathed in your pussy. Your heat consumes him, and he sees red. But so do you. He has reduced you to a few incoherent thoughts, babbling his name in the wake of the drool that is dripping from the corner of your mouth.
And when you come this time, it is pulled back straight against his chest with his fingers rubbing circles over your already abused clit. You come with a scream of his name, and nothing else matters but his cum in your cunt and the unbelievable depth of the feelings he is eliciting within you.
You drop to the mattress like a wet towel, covered in his and your cum, and your sweat that has mingled with his. His smell lingers in the sheets as you bury your nose in it. He collapses on top of you. The crushing weight of him offers a sense of comfort that almost makes you cry. And he holds you as though you mean more to him than a One-Night stand he picked up to help forget a man who broke her heart.
“What’d he do?” Frank asks into the silence later that night.
You are lying on his bed, covered by only his thin sheets. He’s sitting on the other side, nursing a glass of Bourbon. He held you, he cleaned you up, and he offered you some clothes, which you denied. He is kinder to you than you thought he would be, and it warms your heart in a way you can only deem utterly dangerous with how vulnerable you are. Broken people make dumb decisions, and you do not ever want to go through the same pain again.
At least you know that you are still desired. That you’re not dead. Perhaps, there is still hope for a better future. You made Matt Murdock your life for the longest time, and maybe, as you realize now, that was a mistake. There is more to life than him, and you can live without him. That it took fucking a stranger after weeks of being miserable baffles you, but some things are just meant to happen. Maybe it was destiny, after all.
You look at him when Frank repeats his question. “What’d the bastard do, hm?” he asks.
Where do you even start?
When you last checked in on him through your mutual friends—you know it wasn’t the best choice, but you couldn’t help it—they told you that grew his beard, and he last had a haircut when you were still together. It suits him, apparently, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at a picture of him.
Foggy told you that he isn’t taking home girls when they go to a bar, even though he could have all of them. He’s sad. He drowns himself at work and beats his fist bloody every night. The old you would have jumped up to help him. And it is true that you will probably always love him, in a way, but you refuse to crawl back to him.
The more you gave, the more he took, and at the first chance at getting a woman he claimed to no longer love when she came back into your lives, he took her. He couldn’t have wanted you as badly as he claimed if that was enough for him to flush years of loving each other and going through hell together down the drain, knowing it would break your heart into a million pieces. That is probably the worst part about all of it.
You take a deep breath. Frank is still staring at you intently, waiting for an answer. “He fucked his ex,” you finally confess. “Four years of being together and it still wasn’t enough.”
His grip tightens around his glass. “Want me to pay him a visit?”
You chuckle, but you know that he would. “No. But thank you.”
Matt was fading long before you left. Even if you did choose to forgive him, you couldn’t be his friend, so things are better the way they are now. You paid the ultimate price for sacrificing your heart to a man who had too many struggles to deal with himself.
In the silence, you find a little light. “At least I don’t have to pretend to like Jazz anymore,” you say.
Frank takes another sip, asking, “Jazz?”
“Yeah, Jazz. He loves it. He…He’s special. Well, he was to me, anyway.”
“Special? Fuck, the guy did a number on you, huh?”
You scoff. “You have no idea.”
The only way back to your dignity is to learn how to be without him. You have to turn yourself back into a mystery and learn how to trust someone again before your fragile heart breaks again.
“You still talk?” Frank asks.
You shake your head. “No. It’s over now,” you say. “We don’t talk anymore.”
“Told ya. You deserve better.”
“Nah.” You reach for his glass, taking a sip of the bitter liquor that you used to despise. Looking up at him through hooded eyes, you stretch his leg toward him.
You need to keep forgetting Matt’s name, no matter what it takes or the reminiscing will surely kill you.
“Right now,” you murmur with an irresistible smirk that makes him leap at you as soon as the words pass your lips, “I just need to forget he ever existed by screaming someone else’s name.”
Frank captures your lips in a bruising kiss, leaving you speechless and breathless all the same.
Matt chased you, he caught you, and then he lost you. And now that Frank has you, you never want to look back.
Now that you don't talk.
I don't have a tag list for Frank, so I'm just leaving this here.
#frank castle x reader#frank castle x female reader#frank castle smut#frank castle#the punisher#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock angst#matt murdock x f!reader#matt murdock x you#frank castle x you#daredevil#charlie cox#from the vault#bonus fic#inspired by: now that we don't talk
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It'll Always Be Her Chapter III
AN: I'm back with the next part as a few people requested that I post today. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of how things should or will play out next.
To say the last few days were tense would be an understatement. Paige had always thought she was good at compartmentalizing, keeping her personal life separate from the rest of her world. But Azzi wasn’t kidding when she said she was done with the hidden flirting. If Paige thought the quiet smirks and whispered comments were bad, Azzi’s new approach was downright audacious—and she wasn’t the only one feeling the heat.
The first instance came after their season opener. The team continuing with tradition celebrated their victory at Ted’s, a local favorite known for its lively atmosphere, privacy, and amazing drinks. Tonight drinks were flowing, the music was loud, and the energy from their win had everyone in high spirits. Paige had just started nursing her third drink when a group of fan girls approached her.
"Paige, right?" one of them asked breathlessly, eyes sparkling. "You were amazing out there! We were totally screaming for you."
Paige smiled, her polite, down-to-earth demeanor shining through as she graciously thanked them. The conversation dragged on, though, and she found herself stuck between answering their rapid-fire questions and trying not to let her eyes wander too much. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept drifting toward Azzi, who was leaning against the bar near their teammates with a devilish grin as if she knew something like this would happen tonight.
Azzi met her eyes and raised her glass in a silent toast, the playful gleam in her eyes promising mischief. Paige could feel her cheeks warming even more.
It wasn’t long before Azzi decided it was time to make her move. She slipped away from her spot at the bar and strode over, moving with a confidence that made heads turn. The fan girls didn't even notice at first, too caught up in their excitement. Azzi, however, made sure to grab their attention.
She leaned in, her voice husky and warm, "Hey, blondie. You look like you need another drink.”
Azzi’s hand lightly brushed against Paige’s arm, sending a surge of heat up her spine. But it didn’t stop there—no, Azzi was determined to make a statement. She leaned closer, her body subtly pressing into Paige’s as she slid into the space between Paige’s legs, standing far too close.
Paige’s heart skipped a beat as Azzi’s fingers lightly traced the top of her thigh, just enough to make her skin prickle. "Seems like you’re the star of the night," Azzi murmured, her lips only inches away from Paige’s ear. "But I think you might need a break from all the attention."
The fan girls stared, their wide eyes flicking between Paige and Azzi, but Azzi didn’t care. In fact, she reveled in it, loving that only her touch could make Paige’s breath catch in her throat. She placed a possessive hand on Paige’s waist and leaned even closer, her lips brushing against Paige’s earlobe as she whispered, "I could make your night a lot more interesting, you know."
The fan girls finally took the hint and began to shuffle away, clearly flustered. Paige could barely even process what had just happened, her mind racing with confusion and excitement.
As the last of the fan girls disappeared into the crowd, Paige leaned back in her chair, trying to act nonchalant, but the heat in her cheeks betrayed her. "Well, that was bold," she said, the teasing edge in her voice covering up her flustered state. "Not worried about the rumors you’re about to start?"
Azzi smirked, her fingers still lightly grazing Paige’s arm, and she shrugged with an air of total confidence. "Let them talk," she said, her voice playful yet low. "It’s worth it to see you blush like that." She leaned in just slightly, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear as she added, "Maybe next time, you won’t be able to resist."
Paige’s breath hitched at the suggestion, her mind reeling. Azzi pulled back, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You know I’m just getting started," Azzi teased, enjoying every moment of this. "You better keep up."
Paige laughed, shaking her head, but the truth was, her heart was racing. Azzi’s boldness was a challenge—and she knew that her counterpart always loved a good competition.
…
The night was in full swing, the music pounding through the room and the mood light with laughter and a few too many drinks. Paige was feeling the buzz, her inhibitions loosening as the drinks went down. But there was something nagging at her—the sight of Azzi laughing and dancing, surrounded by people who were getting just a little too touchy. There was one guy in particular who kept lingering too close to Azzi, touching her arm, laughing just a little too loudly. It made Paige’s chest tighten with something unfamiliar, something she wasn’t ready to label yet.
But instead of stewing in frustration, Paige decided that it was her turn to be a little bold now. Her gaze locked onto Azzi across the room, and with a slight smirk, she made her way over to the crowd surrounding her. When she reached Azzi, she didn’t waste any time.
Azzi was holding court in the center of the group, laughing at something one of the guys had said. As Paige approached, she felt a sudden surge of confidence—alcohol and adrenaline mixing in her veins. She stepped right up to Azzi, cutting into the conversation with a playful grin.
"Well, well, look who’s the life of the party," Paige said, her voice a little louder than usual, enough to draw Azzi's attention.
Azzi turned, surprised at first, but her lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Says the campus superstar herself," she teased, her gaze flicking down to Paige’s hand, where she was holding a drink. Before Paige could react, Azzi took the drink right out of her hand, taking a sip as she looked up at Paige through her eyelashes with a glint of mischief in her eyes.
"Hey!" Paige laughed, a little taken aback, but the playful challenge in Azzi’s expression made her pulse quicken. "You gonna steal all my drinks now?"
Azzi shrugged, savoring the taste of the drink as she kept her eyes locked on Paige. "Maybe I’ll steal more than that," she said, her tone low and teasing, her lips curling around the rim of the glass.
Paige leaned in slightly, a flirtatious edge to her voice. "You’ve already stolen my attention," she said, her hand brushing against Azzi’s arm as she took a step closer. "What’s next? Are you planning on stealing my heart too?"
Azzi’s smile widened, and she placed the drink down on the table beside them, stepping even closer to Paige. "If I wanted to steal your heart, blondie," she whispered, her voice low and smooth, "I’d have to make sure you’re worth stealing."
Paige’s heart skipped a beat at the boldness of Azzi’s words. She hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn, but the heat between them was undeniable now. "I’m not sure if you can handle me," Paige shot back, her eyes glinting with challenge. "But you can try."
Azzi chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver through Paige’s spine. "I like a challenge," she replied, her gaze never leaving Paige’s. "And you, Paige... you’re definitely a challenge."
Paige took a step closer, closing the space between them, her breath hitching at the way Azzi was looking at her. "Maybe I like making things a little difficult," she murmured, her lips almost brushing Azzi’s as she leaned in just slightly. "Maybe I want to see if you can handle me too."
Azzi’s eyes darkened, the playful glint now tinged with something else, something heavier, as if the air between them had shifted. She didn’t back away. Instead, she closed the gap a little more, her lips just barely brushing against Paige’s ear. "You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into P," she whispered, the words sending a thrill through Paige.
Paige’s breath caught in her throat, and before she could respond, Azzi pulled back, giving her a sly grin. "But that’s the fun of it, isn’t it?"
Paige, still reeling from the closeness, tried to keep her cool but failed. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Maybe," she said, her voice breathy but full of intent, "but you're not the only one who can play this game, Azzi."
Azzi’s eyes lit up with excitement. "We’ll see about that," she said, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. "But maybe we should just leave the game for later."
Paige nodded, a little breathless from the flirtation, but she wasn’t backing down. "Later," she echoed, her gaze lingering on Azzi as they both stood there in the middle of the dance floor. The tension between them was thick, and neither one was willing to be the first to break it.
…
As the night wore on, the energy in the room started to calm. The music had softened, the crowd thinning as people began winding down. Azzi found herself sitting with Caroline in a quieter corner of the bar, nursing a drink and watching the others slowly slip into their own worlds. Caroline, ever the perceptive one, couldn't help but notice the way Azzi kept glancing toward Paige across the room.
"Alright, I gotta ask," Caroline said, her tone teasing but curious. "What happened with you two? You’ve been practically attached at the hip tonight, eying each other across the bar and yet... here you are. Not exactly at her side, huh?"
Azzi smirked, her gaze following Paige for a moment as the blonde chatted with a group of friends. There was a softness in her eyes, one that Caroline had learned to recognize in Azzi whenever she was looking at Paige. "You’re right," she said, her voice quieter now, the playfulness dimming just a little. "We’ve been close tonight. More than usual, even."
Caroline raised an eyebrow. "So, why aren’t you at home in her bed? Seems like that would be the natural progression from here."
Azzi exhaled slowly, her smile soft but sincere. "It would be, yeah. But as much as I want to go there... it’s not the right time," she explained, her eyes meeting Caroline’s with a mixture of frustration and understanding. "Paige is with Jess. And we both know that... well, we don’t want to do anything until she ends things with her. Jess thinks she’s her girlfriend, no matter how clear things are for us right now and we’re not the type of people to just ignore that."
Caroline nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, but come on, Azzi," she pressed, her voice laced with amusement. "You two have been making it pretty obvious that something’s going on. I saw the way she was looking at you earlier. And don’t even get me started on how she’s been touching you all night."
Azzi’s lips curled into a wry smile. "It’s a game, Car. We both know what we’re doing. But as much as we can flirt and play this little cat-and-mouse thing... we’re not going to cross the line. At least not yet." She glanced back over at Paige again, her gaze softening as she watched the blonde laugh with her friends. "We’re both good people. And neither of us wants to hurt Jess. I want Paige. I really do. But we’re not going to let things get messy."
Caroline gave Azzi a long look, clearly understanding. "You’re being patient. I get it. But, come on. You’re not gonna let this whole thing with Jess drag on forever, right? You know you two are something. Don’t let it slip through your fingers just because of some messy situation."
Azzi nodded, her fingers tapping on the edge of her glass thoughtfully. "I know," she said quietly, a certain resolve in her voice. "I want this. I want Paige. But it needs to happen the right way. I don’t want to risk tainting something real with mess and confusion. If we’re going to do this, it has to be with everything in the right place."
Caroline leaned back, nodding approvingly. "Alright. I can respect that. But don’t let the waiting game become a trap, you know?"
Azzi chuckled softly, the playful edge returning to her voice. "For now, this game is enough."
As she finished speaking, Paige suddenly appeared at their table, looking a little tipsy but still as radiant as ever. She caught Azzi’s eye, and a smile tugged at her lips. "Hey," Paige said, her voice slightly more subdued now but still warm. "You ready to head back to my suite?"
Azzi’s heart skipped a beat at the simple words, and she couldn’t suppress the small grin that appeared on her face. She looked up at Paige, her expression soft and affectionate. "Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go."
The two stood up together, the familiar buzz between them still crackling in the air. As they walked toward the exit, their arms brushed slightly, a silent reminder of the tension they had been building for days. They didn’t need words. They were content, for now, simply being in each other’s company, the promise of something more hanging in the air between them.
They left Ted’s together, side by side, their shared glances speaking volumes, neither one of them rushing anything, but both silently acknowledging that whatever came next, they were in it together.
…
The next time this tension was undeniably high they were in the weight room the next day.
Paige had always considered herself a pretty disciplined person. She was serious about her workouts, always focused, always pushing herself. But lately, in the presence of Azzi, everything seemed to blur into a haze of tension and unspoken words. The weight room, usually a place where she could clear her mind, was becoming a place where she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl across from her. And today was no different.
They had been joking around all morning, laughing and teasing each other in between sets, but there was something in the air today—something that made the playful banter feel a little too heavy, a little too charged. The tension was so thick between them that it almost felt like the air around them crackled.
“Alright,” Paige said, a smirk tugging at her lips as she clapped her hands together, “time to show you how it’s done.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed, leaning back against the bench as she watched Paige with a confident grin. “You think you’re gonna impress me, huh?”
Paige chuckled and set herself in position, already feeling the adrenaline pumping. “You’d be surprised. You’ve been working with me for a while now. I think you know I’m full of surprises.”
Paige finished her set flawlessly and with a wink, she moved into position to spot Azzi for the bench press. The younger girl settled onto the bench, her focus immediately shifting to the barbell in front of her. But there was a tension in her posture, a sense that something was different today, even if she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Paige's eyes lingered on Azzi’s form as she settled, her muscles flexing under her shirt as she prepared for the set. There was something about the way Azzi moved that Paige had always admired, but today felt like the perfect time to tell the younger girl this.
As Azzi lowered the bar to her chest, Paige adjusted her grip, hovering just above her. Her tone was light, teasing, but there was a hint of something darker underneath. “You’re doing great, Azzi. Just like that. You know, you’ve got such a beautiful form… it’s hard to concentrate when you’re looking at me like that.”
Azzi’s breath caught for a split second as she looked up at Paige. She hadn’t been expecting that kind of comment, especially not with so many people around. But the glint in Paige’s eyes made it clear that this was more than just a passing remark. The older girl was baiting her.
“Is that so?” Azzi teased, trying to keep her voice steady, but there was an edge to it now, something that hadn’t been there before. “What, you think you can distract me while I’m lifting?”
Paige smirked, her lips curving in a way that made Azzi’s stomach flip. “I think you might like it. You seem to like when I’m close. You’re doing so good though, but I might need to help you a bit more. Want me to talk you through it?”
Azzi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but the challenge in her gaze shifted into something more intense. “You’re not shy, are you?” she asked, her voice dipping into something lower. She was starting to feel the pull too—this was the game they had been playing, but today, it felt like it was about to break.
Paige’s voice was soft but provocative, right in Azzi’s ear. “I don’t need to be shy when you’re so easy to read. It’s not hard to tell you like when I get close.”
The tension between them thickened, the playful atmosphere from earlier now giving way to something far more charged. Paige leaned forward, a hand brushing Azzi’s shoulder as she hovered close, not letting go of her spot. She could feel Azzi’s body react under her touch, her chest rising and falling with the exertion of the set.
“Paige…” Azzi’s voice was barely a whisper now, but there was no mistaking the heat in it.
Paige smiled, the teasing edge never leaving her voice. “You know, Azzi, you’re really good at keeping things under control. But I’m starting to wonder how long you’ll be able to do that when I’m so close.”
The younger girl’s eyes flickered, caught between a flash of amusement and a deeper, darker desire. It was as if a switch had flipped in her mind, and now, she was just as bold as Paige had been. Azzi’s breath hitched, her eyes meeting Paige’s with a mischievous grin. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” she said, a hint of defiance in her voice. She finished the set with an extra burst of energy, and Paige noticed the shift in her—the way her hands gripped the bar with more intensity, how her eyes never left Paige’s.
Paige couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at her lips. “Oh, I’m definitely going to find out. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t want you to lose control.”
Azzi laughed softly, but the sound was almost a challenge in itself. “You think you can keep me under control, huh?”
Paige leaned in even closer, the heat between them palpable now. Her voice was barely a whisper, low and teasing. “I think I can handle it. I’m starting to realize I might enjoy watching you lose control better though.”
The comment was out before Paige could think better of it. Azzi’s eyes widened for a brief second, caught off guard by the directness of it, but there was a flicker of something darker in her gaze. Paige was playing the game differently now, and Azzi found herself intrigued, maybe even a little rattled.
Azzi took a deep breath, gathering herself before speaking, her tone laced with a teasing edge. “Well, you’ve got me curious now. Let’s see who loses control first.” She pushed the bar back up with a confident grunt, her body moving fluidly as she caught Paige’s gaze again. “But don’t think I’m the only one who can push boundaries.”
The words lingered in the air between them, and for a moment, neither of them moved, as if the world outside the two of them had disappeared entirely. The only thing that mattered was the heat that surged between their gazes, the pulse of their shared breath.
Before either of them could continue down the dangerous path they were on, CD’s voice broke through the haze. “Alright, ladies, let’s move on to the next rotation.”
The interruption was almost a relief. Almost. Paige took a step back, her chest still rising and falling rapidly, trying to steady herself. Azzi, on the other hand, exhaled slowly, a sly smile playing at the corners of her lips as she stood up, brushing off her shirt with a nonchalant air. But there was still that charged look in her eyes—the one that told Paige everything they’d just experienced wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.
“Later, Paige,” Azzi said softly, her voice a teasing murmur as she turned to walk away, leaving Paige behind to wonder just how much further they could take this game before it consumed them both.
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