#I wasn’t feeling it

[commanderfoxdeservesbetter]

Dear God

My mom is crazy.

She adopts five girls because she wants more kids. She raises us with love in her home church and teaches us about love in the form of a man. She holds her faith like a heart on a sleeve, apparent to those around her. There is no doubt growing up that Jesus is real; after all, he worked many miracles in her life.

My mom is crazy.

She’s sentimental to the point of hoarding and compassionate to the point of being a pushover. She gains new habits and changes certain behaviors but it’s okay: she is still the same woman that Christ calls to. She loves everyone and everything (it’s starting to be a flaw); she loves and loves and loves.

My mom’s crazy.

She makes no sense at times, but I can still feel her love. The problems escalate, as do the responsibility of teenagers. She eases the burden, prioritizing the bigger issues (grandkids and dogs and troubled children acting out). I’m losing ground on what it feels like to have a mother.

My mom’s crazy.

She loves her dogs more than she loves us, insistent on their unconditional reciprocation unlike us bratty kids. I just raised the question of what we have to eat today. My sister cons her of her money and tricks her with her company and my mother falls for it, wanting so desperately to be my sister’s friend. It increases my need to flee, to leave and forget what it means to be a part of this family. I lose sight of how important a mother should be.

My mom’s crazy.

I hate her so much it turns back to love. She’s the only parent I want around and yet I can’t stand to be in the same room as her. She ignores and forgets; I run and pretend. I wish I never talk to her again. (Be careful what you wish for.)

My mom’s crazy.

They’re saying it’s dementia; that she’s had it for years. It’s surprising it wasn’t caught sooner considering her personality change. I hate their declarations and hindsight observations; I hate when they talk about how different she is from twenty years ago.

My mom’s crazy (sick).

Does that excuse every action she’s done? The burden she gave up on raising us when we turned into teens? I didn’t learn how to be an adult until after I graduated college. I grew up with a sick woman and it caused so many problems. She’s the only type of mother I knew about and it’s not fair.

My mom’s crazy (sick, sick, sick).

I miss her sometimes when I don’t think too hard about what she was like. A criticism I’ll rant to my brother about but if I hear others talking shit about her …

(Sick, sick, sick!)

They didn’t grow up with her. They have no right to say that.

(Sick. Sick. SICK!)

That was my mother.

(SICK! SICK! SICK!)

She was my mom.

…

Dear God,

My mom’s sick and I don’t know what to do.

Dear God,

My mom’s dying and I don’t know how to feel.

Dear God,

My mom’s dead.

…

…

…

You’re all I have left of her, God.

Please don’t leave me too.

[two-of-tails]

of course, we are a group of animal detectives who work together to solve cases all over the world and with your brain power you would make a great member of the team @agentsamsnow

Oh! Sounds fascinating! I remember being a detective for Amy’s birthday and solving cases with Barry! Although… I’m afraid I’m already part of a team. It wouldn’t do me good to travel all around being busy- I have other things to do unfortunately. Sorry, but I’ll refuse this offer.

Feel free to contact me if you need help though!

[morgsdoodles]

+ Lillith doodles!

[xbuster]

I might get crucified for this, but I did not really vibe with Berserk’s OP and ED.

Also, as much as I love Nobutoshi Canna and his role as Basara in Macross 7 is one of my favorite casting decisions in any anime, I can’t help but feel he might have not been the best choice for Guts. Whenever he yells, I’m just like. Guts wouldn’t sound like that.

[ddejavvu]

Just saw a TikTok complaining about ‘kitten’ as a pet name in fanfiction and while I do agree with/understand their discomfort on that one the comments were FULL of people mentioning all the other common pet names ?? Like honey babe baby sweetheart etc ?? Is your partner just supposed to call you by your name the whole time ????????

[rystiel]

i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?

[cherubytes]

[cosmosnout]

The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)

[linkeduniverse]

July art

[remxedmoon]

i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.

(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)

hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.

ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!

the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!

the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!

(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)

[caffess]

Rip to the only reasonable Targaryen and her poor dragon

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

thinking about an estranged childhood friends to lovers story with gojo……

you’re a rowdy kid. during one of your adventures, you end up at the gojo estate; sneaking your way into a vast, beautiful garden, pretty pink roses as far as the eye can see. little gojo is crouched down, watching tiny sprouts grow, and you’re too captivated to look away. bright snowy hair, striking blue eyes, all dolled up in a fancy yukata. he turns to meet your gaze — and all you give him is a sheepish laugh, before strolling over to introduce yourself. he doesn’t seem to mind the company, so you keep coming over to play with him. you bring cool rocks, pretty cicadas you caught, a dusty gameboy. he listens to you speak. he watches the way you move, wave your hands when you’re excited. he grows so, so fond of you.

one day, you stop coming by to see him — and he doesn’t need confirmation to know that one of the maids must have chased you off.

twenty years later, you meet him again, in a crowded little café. he calls out for you by name and you have no idea who you’re looking at. a tall, handsome, cheery man… wearing a blindfold? and shooting you a charming grin. you have no idea who he is, but he remembers you. he remembers you a lot more than he should. he chides you for forgetting your very best friend, but there’s nothing but humour in his voice. you watch as he speaks, as he moves, as he taps his feet under the table after insisting you order something — his treat. you still don’t remember him.

but you’re captivated, all the same.

(from underneath his blindfold, gojo watches you smile. he thinks to himself that some things must truly never change; because he still feels that familiar swarm of butterflies, with every move you make.)

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Begging swifties to understand that Taylor didn’t write reputation and Lover with the knowledge of how the relationship was going to end and that trying to “excavate” those albums for evidence to prove a specific theory as to why it ended is not how they should be viewed. Taylor wrote those songs feeling a very specific way because that’s what she was experiencing and she is now reflecting on them with hindsight and relates to them differently than when she first created them. These conflicting emotions can exist; how she views it now doesn’t diminish how she felt about it when she first released it.

[goldensunset]

when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me

[mroddmod]

little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight