#I was worried I’d have to wait more for that but alll is good now!

[diari0deglierrori]

Sitting outside while crocheting and drinking coffee. In my grandma era

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E5 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Thoughts: So this is a Charles centric episode so heads up and honestly I was thrown for a rollercoaster because of the way Peter Morgan had set this up. I was looking forward to this season specifically for the Tampon Call. I know I’m a weirdo but honestly once I got my disgust out of the way when reading the transcript, I just realised exactly how hilarious a live reenactment could be. And oh boy, well read on to find out what happened. Heads up, half the time it was just me screeching not knowing where this episode would go tbh. Also there is a rare moment of me going Huh maybe Charles did some good,,, shocking I know but I can give credit where its due. 

I knew it's a Charles centric ep and I'm looking forward to the Tampon call but still sighhh 50 mins of Charles ew

They're so bored of his whining lmaooo They're just being polite Chucky

APB is so done with his shit lmao

Also omg is this it IT'S THE CALL?? I WON OMG Wait why are we going wide Peter No Peter show meee the bit PETER MORGAN I WANNA SEE THE EXACT LINES PLAYED OUT COME ON

Oh??? We see it from the eavesdropper’s pov?? Oh dammit lowkey wanted to see C&C's faces This set up is wayyy too long Mister Peter Morgan

OH THERE WE GO DHKSJDKD THEY DID NOT PAUSE IT BEFORE THE GOOD BIT HOHOHO THERE WE GO Damn the way Peter Morgan teased me NOOOO PETER YOU DID NOT BLUEBALL ME I WANTED TO HEAR DOMINIC SAY THE WORDS AND LAUGH AT HIMMM

Well that was disappointing NO NOT THREE YEARS LATER 🤡 I should not be this disappointed he didn't say the line SIGH I know I know I'm a weirdo for wanting that bit re-enacted live but COME ON GUYS THE COMEDY OF IT ALL it would have been h i l a r i o u s Instead we got his boring ass speech that the kids at Oxford probably fell asleep to.

But yay Diana is freee and they're divorcing Awww poor Di I wanna hug her

Not a whole taskforce to safeguard the monarchy in changing world dhdkkd Just be human and less stuffy lmao Also I'm SHOOK at how similar the new Camilla looks to the actual Camilla, the resemblance is uncanny

Charles having liberal ideas whattttt Are these actually his policies??? Well they did allow Charlotte to assume her current succession position He's so progressive in this meeting and yet couldn't handle sharing the spotlight with his wife 🤡 make it make sense

OOOP HE DIDN'T BRING UP THE POLL BRO YOUR MOM IS RIGHT THERE DHDKJDKD

Also dunno WHAT Chucky was worried about this. This episode makes him look good! And Peter could have easily added in the Tampon bit of the call and embarrassed him further

I need to look into these policies if they're true or not if he did believe in this and if it is then good for him but I can respect his policies while being disgusted at the way he treated Diana and later Harry and Megs.

"It was a different Charles today" Lmao yes indeed it was Lizzie this man surprised me You're right Lizzie THAT'S WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT Oh shut up Phillip you outdated dinosaur

I know its his episode but there's too much Charles in this I would find it more tolerable if we had gotten the tampon line but it is what it is

Oopp his secretary got the news He doesn't remember the call 🤡🤡 OHMYGOD MORE PHONE CALL FLASHBACKS AM I GETTING THE LINE?? PETER MORGAN DON'T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME GAJSHJS NOT THEM BEING HORNY TEENAGERS

BROOOO AM I GETTING THE LINE IT'S SO CLOSE SCREAMINGGGG IT'S HAPPENING I WANNA VOMIT AND LAUGH AT THE SAME TIME Alll the ladies in his family reading it in the paper omgggg I'd be mortified

YE S PETER MORGAN YOU DIDN'T LET ME DOWN YALL IF YOU COULD H E A R THE PURE JOY FROM MY LAUGHTER RIGHT NOW

This IS hilarious I told yall the comedy of it all would be iconic as disgusting as the lines are The completely serious way Dominic and Olivia play this is brilliant it makes it EVEN funnier I just really wanna thank them for doing this when Josh O'Connor didn't want to bsjjdkd (like I get it Josh but you and Emerald would have KILLED IT)

HE SAID IT HE SAID HE WANTED TO BE THE TAMPAX AND BE FLUSHED DOWN THE TOLIET I'M CACKLING She's so right HE IS A COMPLETE IDIOT DHDJJD

Everyone's mortified reaction to it IS THE BEST Peter Morgan I LOVE YOU

Also WAIT THIS IS THE ARTICLE THAT PROMPTS THE REVENGE DRESS RIGHT FUCK YES I'M GETTING IT ALL IN THIS EP

I WISH YOU WERE PRESSING MY TIT LMAO Chucky BE SERIOUS

Oh gosh Diana this must be so humiliating for her too my poor babeyyy Go on baby go wear THAT DRESS

Lmaoo all the reports I'm cackling this should be fun to see how they navigate this "An assassination" BITCH YOU SAID IT no one is assassinating your character lol be serious TELL HIM ANNE He did bring alot of problems on himself

Okay I will say as funny as the live reenactment was, it's not nice that his privacy was invaded but by god is what he said was funny af Like boi time to sharpen up your dirty talk skills

Ahhahahah Anne's reaction lmao don't wax poetry about this. Drag him some more please that's what sisters are for. That was a sweet moment but they don't have the easy sibling chemistry Josh and Erin had in the last two seasons

PHILLIP NO DHDKSJ NOT ADMIRATION OH HSJSJJS HE'S RIGHT THE LECTURE IS SO FUNNY PLS Hey let him speak Welsh! Lmaooo Edward is so awkward pls it's like he's on the Office with all the looks he gives

Not them starting the PR redemption arc for him This should be fun, spoiler alert; It's gonna be dull as hell

Lmaooo it IS puffery and chocolate box rn though What is this documentary it's so funny pls Dominic sounds so much like him I'm shook and impressed Mans seems so inclusive,,, I don't believe it not after what happened with H&M

Oop Dimbley dropped the marriage question Damn he did not pull back the punches Charles' answer should be fun That's the most bullshit cop out answer ever lmao

God what a spineless little shit "Friendships" K buddy k "Forthright and honest in your response" AS IF SHDJKD

APB is DONE Mans is YEETED

Have you changed tho Chucky HAVE YOU?? Not from where I was sitting since 2017 Not the dwindling cheering crowds for him I'm laughing what is this

YES DI WEAR THE HELL OUT OF THAT REVENGE DRESS HONEY YESSSS THE REVENGE DRESS GOD IT LOOKS WONDERFUL!

"The Crown itself is a unifying symbol" Lizzie please you mean it's a colonising symbol that forced everyone together under your rule without their consent

Not him doing a book Yes Anne tell him He can be so delusional I swear Him and his gardens 😂😂

Okay I am warming up to this version's dynamic of Charles and Anne The cast chemistry is just a little bit off this season I can't place my finger on it. It's not bad but just not as strong as S4's chemistry. Which I get - it's all of their first time together as a cast so they need more time to get used to each other

Anne being the family tea spiller and informant always gets me - its so amusing Her defence of her brother is very sweet but she feels like she has gone soft Ik ik he needs someone in his corner I just like it when she's sardonic it's amusing

OH that's his court lmao I was like Is he tutoring some Uni kids?? Good to know I wonder if these same people still stayed on with him til now that he's reigning?

The way the audience looks so bored and unimpressed I'm cackling OHMYGOD CHARLES DID NOT JUST COMPARE HIS SHIT TO BEING RACIALLY MAGINALISED Bro what the fuck is wrong with you You're a rich, privileged, white straight cis man. You do not know how they feel or go through on a daily basis AT ALL This engagement is so painful to watch it feels very cold djdkrk

Okay I will admit irl he did good work with the Prince's Trust which just boggles my mind with how everything with the Sussexes was handled. Like bro the call is coming from inside the house why aren't you helping to fix it??

HE'S BREAKDANCING OMG I'M CACKLING

Well this episode was a rollercoaster but I was entertained for most of it!

[authoressofdarkness]

Sick of his world and with nothing left to hold him there, Peter Parker decides to travel to an alternate universe. Once there, it doesn’t take long for that world’s Tony Stark to find him and take an interest.

(Trigger warning for suicidal ideation. Alll photos are from Pinterest.) 

He’d expected it to hurt.

Well, okay, maybe not hurt, exactly. But he hadn’t expected it to feel good either. Traveling through time and space probably wasn’t going to have the greatest of affects on his body.

And that was assuming he even lived, which… hey, he wasn’t sure of, and he hadn’t particularly cared. Why would he? There was nothing left for him in his universe. No family, no friends, not even Spider-Man. All dead, gone, or impossible. And as an unmated omega with no remaining family, he’d either be forced into a bond with someone he didn’t know, or he’d become a ward of the state.

If he was going to run anyway, running somewhere it might be different seemed like the best way to go about it. So he did his research, put the time into it. If wasn’t too far of a leap from what he’d already been working on. And of course he knew things could go wrong, or that he could die — especially if he was already dead in the new universe, he didn’t know what that would mean for him. But even death was better than where he was right now, so whatever. He didn’t care. Not really. Might even be preferable, actually. His powers had made it impossible to try to end things on his own. If he lost those in the new universe… well. All the better, really.

And he’s not wrong. It’s not exactly a comfortable feeling. Especially when he comes crashing down onto the concrete roof of a building, since he hadn’t had much way to control for landing or where he would end up, and immediately snaps the wrist of his stronger hand trying to catch himself.

Fucking great. He can’t die, just get painfully injured. Now he can’t even sling webs. He has no idea where he is and no idea how to get off this roof without his webs. Unless…

He crawls over to the edge of the roof and looks down. Thinks about it. It’s a long, long way down. Possible, but if it didn’t kill him… painful. So painful. And he’d risk exposing himself and facing a fate worse than death in this world that he has no idea what to expect from or where to find the tech to escape from, so...

“Planning to jump?”

The cool voice comes from somewhere behind him. Peter looks up in surprise — both at the fact that he’d been so deep in thought he hadn’t heard anyone approaching, and also at the voice itself. It was the last thing he’d expected to hear, and the image is even more confusing.

Because in his universe, Tony Stark is dead. But the man hovering behind him is definitely Tony Stark. So he’s alive in this world, but… undeniably different. The deadly silent blue and silver armor he’s wearing proves that beyond any doubt. More technologically advanced, for sure, and also more… well. If the way his eyes glow blue are any indication, he’s certainly not human.

Peter gives himself a moment to take him in, then shrugs, looking back over the edge of the roof. His mind spins with thoughts, but he’s in no hurry to act on them. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet,” he says honestly.

He feels those eyes on his back, and Tony’s quiet for a moment, considering. “Not exactly what I expected to find when I detected a break in the time continuum,” he admits finally. “Why come to another world just to commit suicide?” He sounds genuinely curious.

Peter shrugs. “I was hoping the jump would kill me, but it didn’t. Or that I’d merge with myself from this world, and die that way. Didn’t work, either.” He looks down. “I don’t think this one will do it, either. My body would knit itself back together too quickly.”

“You’re not human.” It’s a statement, not a question. He almost sounds… fascinated?

“Not entirely. I got bitten by a spider in high school. Been different ever since.” Peter sighs. Maybe he should be worried, telling him all this. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing it. But he’s just so far past caring at this point. “Did you come here to kill me?” he asks, not worried, just tired and a bit curious. What had this Tony Stark intended to do about a break in the continuum? Was he good? The outfit change, the fact he wasn’t human  — and a glance around the abnormally quiet city — led him to believe he wasn’t near as merciful as the old Tony, at least.

“If I had to. If you were going to be too annoying, or a potential threat.”

“And now?”

A pause. “Now I’m more inclined to keep you, I think.”

The response startles a laugh out of him. He hadn’t expected that, particularly the honesty in what or why if he’d said no. But he’s not scared, really. Maybe he should be, but actually… “Keep me? You think that’s a good idea?”

“It sounds like a fantastic idea.” Tony moves up behind him, not quite touching him but hovering just close enough for the hairs on the back of Peter’s neck to stand up. “You’re young. Cute. Unmated, I can smell that. You’re obviously smart to be hopping through time and space. You’ve got nothing left, true — perhaps no reason to live, but no reason to die, either. And in your case, dying is so much trouble.” His breath tickles the back of Peter’s neck. “You and I could do so much, kid. I could give you a reason to live — or at least an outlet when living becomes too much. You’ve already figured out you can’t do it on your own. Help me, and I’ll help you.”

Peter considers it. He’s not wrong. And yeah, okay, this obviously isn’t the same Tony Stark from his world. He’s different. Certainly not a hero, at least. But he’s familiar, and what he’s offering…

He turns around, slowly getting to his feet on the roof. Tony is waiting, hovering just a little above the ground with a hand held out to him. He takes it. With a cocky grin, Tony pulls him against his body, an arm holding him in place, and they’re off.

[cal-puddies]

it was only a kiss || poly!lashton

big shouts to @kindahoping4forever for helping me power through this arc, ready for the next one?

Poly! Lashton: the blow job || daddy’s home || cream pie || take the pleasure, take it with the pain || all at once this is enough || caught in between || take my heart, hit the back || daddy issues || needy || only you know the way that I break || picked all my weeds but kept the flowers || people are people and sometimes we change our minds

Luke sighs as he walks out of the hotel room. He figures some time at the pool won’t hurt, it’ll give you a chance to recover from the nights activities, and allow Ash to worry you and only you. 

He scoped out a chair before going to grab a towel, he checks his phone as he goes to toss it on the chair he wanted, but a second towel lands right next to his and he looks up. 

The guy grins at Luke and Luke finds him attractive, so opposite of the things he loves about Ashton, his hair is dark, a stark contrast to Ash’s blonde. He has deep brown eyes and a contagious smile. He bites his lip as he grins at the man.

“You can have it.” Luke offers, reaching for his towel to plop it in the next chair over. 

“I just liked this one because it was so far away from everyone else.” The man admits. 

Luke lets out a laugh, “me too actually. Give me some peace and quiet.” 

“Well, there’s two chairs and I promise to be quiet if you don’t mind if I stay.” The man offers. He holds his hand out to Luke, “I’m Oliver, by the way.” 

“Luke.” He shakes his hand, “I don’t mind, you can stay.” He nods. 

They sit quietly for a while, Luke can feel Oliver eying him but he ignores it. “You here alone Luke?” Oliver finally asks. 

“No… I’m here with my partner.” He drops the ‘s’ to make it less confusing, but he’s not sure whether he’d bring up you or Ash if asked. “What about you?” 

“Just some friends, needed a break from reality.” Oliver explains. 

“Yeah, us too. A lot going on in our lives right now.” Luke nods. 

“So, where is your partner?” He asks, with a charming, but leading lilt in his voice. 

“He’s upstairs, wanted to relax in the room a little more.” Luke shrugs, not trying to dole out his whole personal life. 

“You guys been together long?” 

Luke thinks for a minute, “7 years…? Holy shit, yeah, 7 years.” 

“And you said ‘he’?” 

“Yeah, Ashton. He’s fucking amazing. I still don’t know how I got him.” Luke chuckles. 

“Well he’d be stupid not to be into you, honestly.” Oliver gently touches Luke’s arm. 

And Luke doesn’t think anything more of it, the two of them spend the entire day chatting and hanging out by the pool, until Ollie’s friends come to find him for their dinner plans. They exchange numbers and Luke heads back to the room. 

He finds you asleep with your head in Ashton’s lap, he was gently running his fingers through your hair. 

Luke leans in to peck Ash on the lips, “is she ok?” 

“She cried a lot today and compounded with the fact that she was super sore from last night, just been a tough day.” Ash smiles sadly at him. 

Luke rubs his hand very gently on your lower back, “did you guys eat dinner?” 

“No, not yet, why don’t you go shower? And I’ll get her up and moving.” Ash leans up to kiss him again. 

When Luke wakes up the next morning, he’s barely thinking about the two in his bed, he had such a good time with Ollie, he was excited to spend another day with him. They were heading to the beach just beyond the pool today. 

You and Ash had been undecided on what to do today, so he was happy to already have a plan. 

And then Luke really only sees you briefly before bed or as he’s getting ready and you are typically still in bed and Ash is up reading the news and getting in the first cup of coffee sludge in. 

“Where are you off to so early?” Ash asks after a week of early days. 

“Uh… I made a friend. He invited me to go with his friends to go snorkeling. What are you guys up to?” Luke asks, pulling a backpack over his shoulders. 

“Not sure yet… wanna get dinner with us?” 

“I’ll try and be back early enough for that.” Luke nods, leaning in to kiss Ash. 

Luke grins at Oliver as he hands him a beer. They’d been out on the boat all day, in and out of the water. 

“So tell me more about Ash.” Ollie prompts. 

“He’s great… so handsome, takes really good care of me, has a dominant streak that I love. But, It’s a little more complicated.” Luke shrugs, feeling his buzz. 

“Complicated? How is anything complicated with someone as great as you?” Ollie asks, nonchalantly. 

“We… have a girlfriend.” He shrugs. 

“You share a girlfriend with your boyfriend?” He clarifies. “Of course, a catch like you couldn’t have just one partner.” Ollie smirks. 

“Something like that. We don’t really talk about it… but we’re here because she just had a really traumatic life event and this is how Ash helps us collect ourselves. To regroup.” Luke finishes his beer and gets up for another. “Sex is incredible though, with both of them.” 

“Can’t do a lot of regrouping if you aren’t with them,” Ollie says, raising an eyebrow when Luke looks at him. 

“Well… like I said, she needs him right now.” Luke shrugs. 

“But she doesn’t need you?” 

“I’m sure she does, but she’ll come to me in her time. We just have a very… natural flow between the three of us. She’ll tell me when she needs me close.” He nods, “oh shit… what time is it? I told

them I’d be back for dinner.” Luke reaches for his phone, but it’s definitely dead from being in the middle of the ocean all day. 

“Well, we're gonna have to be heading back soon, maybe you can ask them to wait.” Ollie shrugs. 

“Nope. No service out here and my phone is dead anyway.” He sighs, “shit.” 

“They’ll understand, especially if they’re as great as you say they are.” 

“No, they are… they are. Ash just specifically asked me to come to dinner tonight. Shit.” He groans. But it doesn’t stop him from drinking two more beers as they head back in. 

Luke makes his way up to the room, it’s dark outside so he knows he likely missed dinner. 

“Hey guys!” He greets, walking in the room. 

“Luke!” You smile at him, and you look so excited. “Guess what we did today!” 

He plops next to you on the couch and leans in for a quick kiss, “what’s that baby girl?” He smiles, cupping your cheek. 

“We went to the dole plantation!! It was really Cool, we got some pineapples, I ate alll the dole whip I could.” 

“Which was a lot.” Ash laughs, coming back in. Luke gets pouty. “And you missed dinner.” 

“I know I tried to get back here in time. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the dole plantation today? I wanted to go.” 

“We decided last minute. We tried to call and text but we didn’t get a response.” Ash shrugs. 

“You knew I was going snorkeling with friends today, I told you this morning.” Luke argues, getting exasperated. 

“Don’t get mad at me. You made your choice. Just wanted to take this one to do something fun.” Ash says, kissing the top of your head. 

“Sorry Peachy, didn’t know you’d want to go.” You frown at him. 

“It’s ok baby girl.” Luke kisses your nose and pushes up off the couch. 

“You should try this though.” You say, offering him a piece of the pineapple from the plate you’re holding. He leans over and lets you stick it in his mouth. 

“It’s delicious. Thank you for sharing.” He makes his way to the bathroom for a shower. 

He’s annoyed with Ashton though, he knows he told him what he was doing today, and he should have known he’d be unreachable. And why wouldn’t Luke want to also experience the Dole plantation. He’s not happy about how this went down. But when he’s done with his shower, he sees that Ollie has texted and asked about dinner. Luke admits that he missed it, so Ollie invites him down to the bar for drinks and some food and he agrees, he’s starving all of a sudden. 

“Where ya goin?” You ask as Luke opens the door. 

“I’m just gonna go get some food, pretty girl. I’ll be back.” He assures you. 

“Ok… miss you Peachy.” 

“I won’t be too long.” He promises.

But after a couple drinks, lots of laughs and some food, Luke and Oliver decide to go to the beach. 

“It’s dark… isn’t it dangerous?” Oliver laughs. 

“No Ollie! We’re not getting in, let’s just go sit, under the stars.” Luke grabs his hand and drags him out to the beach. “Beautiful night!” Luke declares, plopping In the sand, waving his hand toward the sky. He giggles, pulling Ollie down with him. “Now, I’ve told you about me, what about you?” Luke grins. 

“What about me?” Ollie asks, finally settling in next to Luke. He moves a little closer so they are shoulder to shoulder. 

“Are you seeing anyone? Special someone back home?” 

“Ah… no my ex and I broke up like… 4 months ago. He was cheating on me, so I just…” he shrugs. 

“Good riddance. You deserve better than that anyway.” Luke nods. 

If he was sober, he would notice the way Ollie keeps looking at him, the way he keeps finding ways to touch him, and he’s just staring at Luke’s lips. 

But he’s not sober and he seems to be encouraging it, touching him back, constantly turning to smile at him, doing anything he can to make him laugh. 

Luke lays back in the sand, “what are you doing tomorrow? I’ve heard there are amazing waterfalls around here.” He asks. “Maybe we can go for a hike.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Ollie shrugs, laying back. 

Luke hums, “we're gonna have to get a late start, I’m drunk.” He grins. “I’ll need to sleep in… speaking of… what time is it? I told my girl I’d be back.” 

“And yet… here you are…” Ollie whispers, “it’s 1:30.” 

“Nope. I gotta go. She shared her pineapple.” Luke murmurs, jumping up. “I’ll text you when I get up.” He takes off back to the hotel without even waiting for Ollie to get up. 

Ashton is in bed, you’re on the couch when he gets back. “Hey peachy.” You greet, giving him a sad smile, “thought you were coming right back?” You mention. 

“I know, I’m sorry baby girl.” He sighs, leaning over to kiss your cheek, “I got caught up.” 

“I just wanted to make sure you made it back.” You whisper, getting up to head to bed. 

“Baby girl.” He whispers, “I love you. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s your vacation too.” You shrug, “love you.” 

Ash tries to wake him up in the morning, but Luke batted him away and mentions he has plans. 

“Ok… well don’t get mad at me if we do something you wanted to do.” Ash huffs. 

Luke’s sweating as they hike, and he kinda feels like shit from being hungover, but he’s doing his best. “So what do you do?” He asks Oliver. 

“I teach music, at a high school… choir, music appreciation, music history, and I help with marching band.” He shrugs. 

“Oh, that’s really cool.” Luke exclaims. 

“What about you?” Oliver stops short in front of Luke. 

“Oh… uh… I guess you’d say I’m more of a kept man.” 

“Oh? You don’t work? At all?” He asks, now following Luke. 

“I mean I have responsibilities, but Ash takes care of us. Gets us what we need and want. Like… like I said the sex is spectacular, I do chores around the house and help with whatever Ash needs help with.” 

“Ok… so you are a kept man. What did you want to do?” 

“I never really had a chance to decide. I was fresh out of college when Ash and I got together, got my degree in business. I was just working at a clothing store and eventually Ash was just like you hate it so much so just quit and be here and that was that. I didn’t argue because I did hate it that much, and he never asked me to pay any bills and wouldn’t take money when I offered.” Luke shrugs.

Ollie nods, “and your girl?”

“Also kept… she gets a little more control than I do typically but I like it that way.” Luke stops and looks at the waterfall they’ve come upon. “Shit, this is gorgeous,” he murmurs. And he wishes you were there, because you’d love this, and for a second, he feels like he’s doing this with the wrong person, he should be with his people. 

Oliver is taking his shirt off and jumping in the water. Luke definitely notices his toned body, and he takes his shirt off to jump in too. He notices as Oliver stays close and touches him, thinks it must be an accident when Oliver’s hand grazes the front of his swimmers multiple times. 

“So… based on all the info you’ve given me, you must be in some sort of dom/sub situation?” Ollie boldly asks. 

“Yeah… something like that. That would definitely be how I’d describe my bedroom experiences.” He laughs, “but not so much the rest of our lives. We’re just there for each other I guess… I don’t know how to describe it. Making them smile and happy is the best thing I do.” 

He notices Ollie’s gotten close and he thinks maybe it’s too close, so he backs up a little, and then heads back to where they dropped their shirts and bags. 

“We should head back. It’s gonna be late anyway.” He mentions, quickly drying his chest and putting his shirt on. 

They keep up their normal banter all the way back to the hotel, and Luke waves him off as he heads to the room. 

Luke sees you pressed to Ash when he comes in, you say hi and he heads off for a shower and collapses on the bed, checking his phone. 

He has dinner with you, where you let slip Ash doesn’t know how to talk to him about him; and it keeps him up all night. What could Ash want to talk about? Luke’s done his best to stay out of the way. Is Ash jealous? 

He adores it when you come out in the morning and straddle him. Even if things are weird with Ash, at least you don’t seem to be upset with him. And then he agrees to spend time with you guys. 

But Ollie is texting a bunch, and he figures it couldn’t hurt to have him join you guys for lunch. Maybe Ash would feel better if he met him. 

But he can tell pretty quickly it’s not going well. He watches you shut down first, as Ollie makes pass after pass at you. You cross your arms over your chest and your face says your fuming. He tries to distract him from that point forward. 

Luke frowns as you and Ash take off, he did not expect things to go so poorly. “What the fuck was that? They’re not usually like this.” He promises Ollie. “I can’t believe they acted like that.” He hums, still staring after his partners.

“You wanna come hang in my room for a bit? Let them cool down. We can talk about it?” 

Luke feels awkward the second he steps in Ollie’s room, but he ignores it. 

“Luke.” Ollie says, and Luke turns to face him, Ollie presses his lips to Luke’s. 

And for a few seconds, Luke lets it happen before snapping out of it. He gently pushes Ollie away. “What are you doing? You just met my partners.” 

“Luke… you’ve spent all this time talking about how great they are, but you've basically spent this entire trip with me. we’ve been having a good time, we’ve got a good vibe. I thought you were feeling this too.” 

“I’ve never said I was open to anything. I’ve got the two people I need, it was just nice to have a friend.” 

“Keep telling yourself that Luke. There’s obviously something deeper there.” 

“I have to go, lose my number.” He brushes past Ollie, out of the room, and hurries toward the elevators. He can feel the tears in his eyes as he steps off and heads back to the room. 

“Ash… we need to talk.”

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Cass’s tag list: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood  @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @therealmrshale @fallfrxmgrace @lukashemmos @justarandomgirlthatyoudontknow @5sos-microwave @madbomb @sweetheartmendes1000-blog @literally-anythin @lfwallscouldtalk @clemmingstylins0n @ccnicole02 @lustingfor5sos @buteverythingiscopacetic @rosesfromcth @bodaciousbonzi1996 @ashtontotheirwin @captainam-erika-trash @jazzyangel242 @bluebabycal @rhiannonmichellee @iovehemmings @glitterycalum1205 @katcontreras @cashtonasfuck  @ificanthaveu  @canterburyfiction @opheliaaurora  @queer-5sos @gigglyirwin  @glitterycalum1205 @rebelwith0utacause @myloverboyash @sadistmichael  @sexgodashton @kindahoping4forever @babyoria @notinthesameguey @angel-cal @pilunb @the1weliveinnow @smilexcaptainx @everyscarisahealingplace @wiildflower-xxx @viiirgo @ashtondaddy90 @petunias-pet @youngbloodchild @myfavfanficsever @addietagglikesbands @zhangyixingxing1 @findingliam-o @zackoid @calmsweetcreature @strawberriesonsummer @loveroflrh @another-lonely-heart @burstintocolor @seanna313 @metalandboybands @castaway-cashton @calumftduke @stardust-galaxies @talkfastromance4 @justhereforcalum @redeserts @addietagglikesbands @myescapefromthislife @xsongxbirdx

[brittababbles]

I want to know ALLL your frankie theories, I am loving them 🙌

Well. Hmm. I don’t know exactly what my other theories for Frankie are exactly. I guess I have a few.

I suspect that his relationship with his “lady” is probably pretty rocky. If it wasn’t before the film, it will be now. He’s dreading it, especially coming home to her empty handed (I sincerely hope not, but there’s just something about the way he walks away from Pope at the end of the film). I don’t know that it’ll survive this particular patch of stupidity/desperation (and if it doesn’t I’ll be waiting in the wings to catch him. I have plans for you, Francisco.). That being said I can easily see Frankie as a single father. Which leads to my next headcanon.

I suspect that he grew up without a father, which is why he’s willing to take such risks to provide for his own child. My personal headcanon is that he was raised by his maternal grandparents.

I’m guessing he was a commercial pilot, not a medical chopper pilot, in his civilian life. Medical pilots wouldn’t worry about things like maximum load. They’d worry about things like speed. Plus I didn’t get the impression Frankie had much beyond your most basic medical training, and I’ve been lead to believe that medical chopper pilots need to be, well, medics to some degree.

I have no evidence to back this up but I think he’s a college dropout. This might not be realistic to the notion of special forces, because that’s not my area of expertise. But I read Frankie as a guy who dropped out of college better than halfway through, probably in some hard science (mechanical or aerospace engineering).

The entire triple frontier bunch have a mess of PTSD symptoms, like I’ve mentioned before. Frankie’s, if I had to guess, manifest in nightmares more than waking hour flashbacks. I’d guess he started down the Valium path because he couldn’t relax enough to sleep. And then he found out he could relax more when he was awake if he took the Valium then too. I’m worried about that boy. I need to do something about this.

I don’t think he shot that villager. I also don’t think it will ever matter to Frankie whether he did or not, because it was the intent to kill that will haunt him. Frankie’s not naturally a killer. His personality doesn’t support that kind of thing. I think 80% of Frankie’s issues are that he can’t come to terms with the things he’s done. I think he does know exactly how many people he’s killed, and can see each and every face in his mind.

I think he used to love animals. I don’t think he’s in a place at the time of the film where he loves much of anything. Depression will do that. PTSD will do that. But I think he loved them at one point, and will hopefully love them again with the right treatment.

And I think it was cruel of Pope to involve him in any of this in the first place. Frankie’s the worst of them when it comes to coping with the things he’s seen and done, if I had to pick one. He shows how much he’s hurting more clearly, and Pope played on a need to provide that is obviously not something Frankie can manage right now. I like Santiago. I really do. But asking this was too much.

Frankie’s my sweet boy. A scruffy little ex-pothead turned Valium addict who really doesn’t want to hurt anybody, but has followed a path he couldn’t get himself off of, and is living with the consequences. Pedro plays a lot of characters that are one thing on the surface and another thing entirely underneath (Jack, Marcus, Oberyn, Javi, Din... goodness almost all of them) and Frankie is no different. Ex-special forces, ex-level headed, sweet sweet Frankie thats 10,000 kinds of panic and guilt hidden under a collected exterior.

I hope that’s something of what you wanted, friend. It’s hard to pin down theories separate from the whole character I have in my head, but I think this is a good start.

[yamithediaperdork]

Forgotten Stories 3: Baby hunter and Daddy vampire (you guessed it, Mortal Instruments)

jace signed softly as he waited at the cafe. He was annoyed something fierce as the former mundane turned vampire Simon had flat out SUMMONED here to the late night dinner, saying that they NEEDED to talk. Jace, who had better things to do, and money to make was understandably vexed and as he sipped on the black crud that this greasy spoon dared to call coffee, he mumbled to himself. "Swear to god, if it's more of my blood he's after.." the shadow hunter grumbled, then set the coffee down and reached once again for the sugar, pouring more into the crud. "How the hell do you not have diabetes?" Came the amused tone of the vampire and jace just rolled his eyes. "you know,. just because you're immortal and can drink anything doesn't mean the rest of us are. i have to make this drinkable SOMEHOW." the blond shot back and then nodded to the seat across from him. "Now you wanna tell me why I'm here instead of doing better things with my time? I'm not giving you more blood..or gum wrappers." jace smirked at that as Simon narrowed his eyes, taking a seat. "ohhh wow, soo witty. I was a rat for a few hours years ago. get over it. and besides, in terms of embarrassing things.. i think you've more then topped me being turned into a rat." Simon said and gave a big smirk. "what ever you think you've found-" Jace started to say, but even as he spoke he was getting a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and then Simon pulled out a tablet, which was already on a certain naughty boys mycam page. Jace's to be exact. "..So did i ever tell you I have a twin brother wh-" "Bull.shit.diaper boy." Simon said and then pressed play on a video.

the video came to life and there was jace, at a playground. it was late at night and he was wearing a trench coat but was smiling into the camera. "Sup my peeps? this is your boy Stinky J and thanks to a generous cash gift from daddy V, yours truly is about to go and take a epic dump in his huggies, and go and play. remember, if you got the money and have a idea, PM me and you can see my cute twink ass doing all sorts of degrading things. don't forget to like and comment." Jace said, dropping the tench coat and revealing that he was only in a paw patrol pull up under the jacket. Turning around and slapping his butt, the blond demon slayer poped a squat and audible grunting could be heard and then with a MASSIVELY loud fart and a sign of relief the the back of the pull up expanded rapidly, puffing out and discoloring as Jace coo'ed in content. "Mannn that feels better.. though whew..y'all should be thankfully you can't smell this!" the blond brat teased, waving a hand and then waddled slowly (clearly making a effort not to let his hot load spill out of the poor pull up) towards the slide. "heh, what do you think folks? time to slip sliding? ..yeah thats what i thought too~" climbing up the ladder it was hard to make out his face from the distance he was at and then the big stinky baby plopped down on his butt (a oh fuck! and gasping heard) and then the big baby was sliding down the slide and-

Grabbing the tablet Jace turned the video off and was beet red, looking down at the table. "...Ok what do you want?" Jace asked. "What i want,for starters, is for you to stop using the money I send you to get stupid pull-ups when i clearly state diapers." Simon said and smirked as Jace looked up at him in confusion, the realization. "Y-Your daddyv!" "Ding ding ding! thats right, you've been a poopie pull up baby brat for a vampire the past three months. i wonder just how much trouble you'll be in when your little clubhouse finds out not only are you a diaper pooping big baby. but a vampires bitch too~" Jace whimpered, it was going to be humiliating enough if anyone else found out about his naughty way to make extra money. add in he was doing it for vamp.. this was NOT going to be good. "L-Look..I already spent the money if you want it back an-" Jace started and Simon cut him off with a sharp laugh. "what makes you think I need your money? I've been the one spoiling you remember dip shit?" Simon snorted. Jace huffed and actually started to pout a little at that. "awww look at it this way..at least I'm not a mundane anymore. that would make what I'm gonna make you do to shut me up even more humiliating for you." Simon added cheerfully. "...should I be worried?" jace asked with a gulp. "terrified." Simon confirmed with a shit eating grin.

half a hour later and there were at a old warehouse that was boarded up on the outside but Simon flew himself and jace in though a window where.. a makeshift nursery was set up among the ruins. "...this is going to suck even more then i thought huh?" jace asked faintly. "well if nothing else, you're more then free to use this for your videos." Simon snickered and then winked. "maybe I'll even be your camera man too." "pretty sure i'ma stop doing the videos after this." jace huffed. "You say that now.." was all Simon would say on the matter, leaving jace even more worried. "now then, who's ready to be put back in a good diaper for a change, not a pull up that'll leak the second you putt too much pressure on it?" Simon asked, going over to by the changing table he had set up in the ruins and grabbing out a stupidly thick and massive diaper that instead of the normal designs one would expect on it.. had diaper fag in baby block letters all over it. "..That has to be a custom job." jace whined and pointed. "No shit Sherlock." Simon chuckled. "Clearly you are the brains of your outfit." "you don't have to be a jerk you know." jace whined, starting to tug his jeans and undies down and Simon laughed again, "really? YOU of all people giving someone hell for being rude?" Jace paused and gave a sheepish smile. "well when you put it like that.., god.. am I even gonna be able to WALK in that thing?" Jace asked, naked from the waist down and shaved bald down there. "Fuck no. but you'll be able to crawl and get on your knees, which is what i want." Simon said and smirked, showing off his fangs. "...I'm gonna be sucking your dick aren't I?" "Awww who's a clever little baby? you are!" "look i uh.. I don't know if-" "oh don't try and tell me you haven't been slurping on Alec's dick like a greedy cock slut for the past year. just about everyone knows you're his cum dumpster." "W-what!? I am not!" jace squeaked and had a full body blush going on as Simon walked over and swatted his cute cheeks, leaving the shadow hunters buns slightly red. "ah ah ah..No lying." "I-I really don't suck Alec off..he uh.." jace's voice trailed off and looking down at the ground, and poking too fingers together, he finished in a tiny voice. "I..I pay him to fuck me.." "oh? don't you think he'd do it if you asked nicely?" "I..uh.. he said he would for free but I uh..asked if i could.." jace trailed off again as Simon started to laugh. "oh my god, your a total bottom bitch! begging to pay for the privilege of getting that cock.. you know i thought you were just shitting yourself in diapers rto buy booze or whatever.. not degrading yourself in public so you can get that dick!" Simon laughed. "Does alec at least give you a cum dumpster discount?" "D-Depends on his mood...c-can i get put the diaper on and suck you off already and get this over with!?" Jace whined and huffed. "...awfully demanding for a diaper shitting butt slut aren't you? you know..i was gonna make you shit yourself before sucking me off.." "...i'm not going to like where this is heading am I?" "Normally i'd say no..but with what a fucking bottom bitch you are you'll likely be creaming your huggies." Simon said.

the alternative to Jace loading his pampers was worse then he had thought, and after getting onto the opened diaper fag diaper, he'd had to watch as Simon gave himself a mild enema. "you know your fucking disgusting right?" jace whined, on the verge of tears as Simon pulled the tub out of his ass and walked over. "right. i'm gonna listen to someone who bounces up and down in shitty diapers for money to get fucked into submission on whats normal and whats not. though don't think i didn't notice all those silver scars on your ass.. does alec just wreak your hole so much you have to heal or need diapies full time?" Simon asked, squatting over Jace's cock and balls now. "Oh my god will you just shut up and do it already so i can suck your stupid dick and get out of here!?" Jace yelled. "alll right, but you know you just ASKED me to shit on you right?" "All of my fucking hate." "love you too." Simon grunted and as jace looked, tears welling up in his eyes, a thick brown log snaked out of Simon's ass and as the tip of it touched Jace's cock, his cock started to go limp and the tears were flowing. "S-Simon please! stop! I do-" he started to sob and simon just smirked. "Shut up diaper baby. it's going in your diaper or down your throat." Simon said and jace just blubbered. the hot shit coiled around his crotch before it broke off and the smell was horrible, making jace hold his nose. "Awww whats wrong, the stinky baby can't take a REAL MAN'S funk?" Simon teased and bore down, pushing out anther thick log and shifting slightly, making sure this would coat the baby fags balls. the third and forth logs didn't go on baby jac'es cock and balls though, it went right into the diaper so it was squish all over the big babies back side and jace had to give up holding his nose as he needed to suck his thumb and close his eyes to keep from just getting up and trying to bolt. "awww, such a sad widdle diaper boy~ don't worry buddy, Daddy Simon is almost done getting your diapie nice and stinky for you, then you can have a cock baba." simon teased. jace just whimpered. finishing up with his smelly load, Simon grabbed jace's boxers and used them to wipe his ass, giving jace a look that dared him to open his mouth to complain then tossed them in a diaper pail and stepped clear of the dumb baby fag. leaning down simon made a face and waved a hand, then grinned to jace. "whew! no more tacos for me! thats rotten huh buddy?" simon teased and the dumb baby just sucked on his thumb and nodded, then whined loudly as the diaper was taped up. helping jace roll onto his tummy and then get up on his hands and knees, Simon then patted and rubbed the back of the loaded diaper, making baby Jace whimper even more but any and all fight was clearly out of the former big shot. "D-Daddy pwease..cock baba." the stupid little diaper wimp whined. "Awww you wanna show daddy how grateful you are he 's letting you see how it feels to wear real man shit huh?" Simon teased. Knowing what the sadistic vampire wanted him to say, jace whined, then nodded. "yesh daddy. pwease wet stinky jace suck your dicky to say fank ku." he whined and despite how much he hated the load in his diaper, hated simon, hated all of this., jace was getting wood. 'whats wrong with me!?'

Simon took a seat far enough away that jace's knees got a little scraped up crawling over, and the crawling he was forced to do only squished the mess around even more but then he was on his knees and looking at Simon's 6 inchs of fuck meat. it wasn't as big as Alec's (hell, Jaces was sure there were horses who weren't as hung as Alec) but the fact that he was going to suck anther mans dick while wearing his shit just had the poor bottom bitch in total sub mode and he leaned forward and planted a big sloppy kiss on the cock head as Simon moaned. Opening his mouth he took the vamp cock in slowly, worried about gagging till the whole thing was in his mouth, going down his touge and he had a nose full of musky pubes. the taste..wasn't so bad as as jace pulled his head back, trailing his touge and making Simon moan he almost, maybe kinda, found himself loving the taste. Pushing back down a little more eagerly the blond bitch started to bob his head up and down the fuck meat with eagerness and Simon reached down and ruffled jace's hair. "Fuck..fuck..good boy Jace. I knew you'd love this.. just a little fucking diaper fag.. Fuck..I'm gonna have you in diapers 24/7..just a total fucking diaper bitch for my amusement." Simon was groaning and jace in his horned up state moaned around the vamp cock. "Fucking knew you'd like that..Not gonna out you to your widdle friends but you're gonna be my little diaper bitch from now on..Mine. and you're not healing your ass next time Alec breeds you either..i want you helplessly shitting yourself while hunting demons." Simon was panting now, regretting the fact that he had edged all day to the thought of what he was going to do to jace and knew he couldn't last too much longer. "Gonna fucking dress you like a toddler and take you to the park in the day. let all the kids see you in your t-thick massive diapers..L-let them spank you.." Simon added and then noticed that jace was reaching back, mushing the mess around in his poofy diaper while worshiping his new daddies cock. "Ha! knew you'd love my shit! Get ready baby boy, time for you first of MANY loads of daddy milk!" jace pulled back and with just the cock head in his mouth, reached around jerked Simon's cock hard. he didn't know why but he felt like he NEEDED to taste full on all of the vampire boys load and wasn't disappointed as Simon's cock erupted all over his touge, filling his taste buds with the taste of real man cum. as the last few ropes of nut juice fired off, causing some to start to leak out of Jace's nose, the stupid big baby came hard in his poopie diaper and collapsed, whimpering and moaning. Simon smirked and after making sure that jace was fully out, turned his attention over to a corner of the room, where a webcam was set up. "well everyone, thanks for watching! hope you all enjoyed seeing me use this shadow slayer as a diaper bitch cum dumpster and don't forget to like the video and comment on other things you wanna see me do to him. this is daddy v signing off." he said. After all, why should Jace be the only one to make a little cash on the side?

the end..for now.

[svu-ncis-criminalminds]

Survivor

Request : Could I please request a SVU imagine where the OC is a part of the team and secretly has a crush on Stabler? Work’s all good until one day, an awful suspect antagonises her and it comes out that she’s been through the same thing as people they help? Only it’s not intentional, maybe they overhear her? So when she steps outside, everyone’s just worried as hell and she avoids Stabler for weeks until somehow she has to talk to him and she admits how she feels and why she didn’t tell anyone... 👍🏻

Triggers : This talks a lot about rape and rape trauma to an extent similar to the show

In my mind this takes place while Liv is with the Feds and Danny was Eliot’s partner. Also this is a pretty long one I hope you enjoy it.

The rock had been sitting in the bottom of your stomach since your squad first caught the case on Monday. The girl had stumbled into the precinct with her clothing ripped and a bloody face before fainting. They did a rape kit when you got the hospital and it has shown positive for spermicide, and you’d spent Monday in the hospital beside the girl waiting for her to wake up.

When she finally came to she told you what happened. She was nineteen, a college student at Julliard; young, bright, beautiful. She’d been walking home when she was blitzed and forced into an alley where the man raped her from behind and then smashed her head into the concrete wall.

You had hardly slept more than an hour at a time for the last 72 hours and getting more desperate by the day to find the guy who did this to her.

“Hey,” you felt a hand on your shoulder and flinched away from it. “(Y/N)” You looked up from the papers spread across your desk. You were looking for something, for anything that might point you in the right direction.

“What?” You heard yourself snap before you could catch yourself. “Sorry, what,” You turned your head back away from your partner continuing to pour over the files. A hand entered your point of view and closed the files in front of you. “Hey!” You protested spinning to look up at your partner. Stabler shook his head back down at you.

“When was the last time you slept?” He asked and you glared reaching back for the papers. Eliot moved his arm out of your reach.

“I caught a nap earlier.” You assured, brushing him off and turning back around to your desk jiggling the mouse to wake up the computer. The second the screen light up the whole system turned off and you felt yourself pulled away from the desk. “Excuse me?”

Eliot tossed the files down onto your desk and picked your bag up holding it out to you. You glared at him and snatched the bag.

“What do you think your doing?” You asked and Stabler shook his head at you handing you your coat.

“I’m taking you home-”

“No!” You protested shaking your head trying to push yourself back towards your desk.

“Captain's orders,” Eliot put a gentle hand on your bicep pulling you into a standing position, “Your practically dead on your feet. Your ordered a mandatory eight hours.”

“Eight hours!” You protested yet couldn’t find the energy for a bodily protest as Stabler placed your coat over your shoulders and guided you to the elevator. The car ride to your apartment was fuzzy in your memory as you tried not to nod off. Your partner saying your name pulled you back into reality and you turned your head. You maintained eye contact for a moment before he seemed to remember he was the one who got your attention.

“We’re here.”

“Oh,” You breathed turning to glance out the window before looking back over at Stabler and giving him a tired smile, “Thank you for the ride.” Eliot smiled at you before checking his watch.

“Alright, it’s twelve now, I don’t want to see you in that squad room before nine am.” You gave him a tight smiled and opened the car door, grabbing your bag and stepping out.

“We’ll see,”

“Goodnight.” You shut the door and gave Eliot a half wave before turning and heading to your apartment. The second you were inside you stumbled towards your bed, stripping off your dirty work clothes as you went before falling into your covers. You were asleep before your head even hit the pillow.

You stormed into the precinct in a fury beelining directly for your partner. As you got to him you tossed your bag into your chair marched up to Eliot jabbing a finger in his chest.

“It’s almost noon!” You hissed, “And I have to hear from Munch how you made the collar for my case this morning?”  Stabler stepped back away from you shaking his head.

“There was a break in the case, (Y/N)” He answered you calmly but you could see a tinge of red rising from his neck. So you jabbed another finger at him.

“And!?”

“And?! You were sleeping, what did you want me to do? Wait to follow the lead?”

“I wanted you to have the decency to call me and wake me up before you went to make my arrest.” Stabler stood in front of you for a second ready to continue your argument before shaking his head and relaxing his shoulders slightly.

“You hadn’t slept in 72 hours,” He reasoned, “I took Fin, we didn’t expect it to lead to such an immediate arrest it was a lead, he threw a punch and tried to run and we collared him.” You let out a long breath through your nose and took a step back away from your partner nodding.

“I’m sorry.” Stabler shook his head and gestured towards the room your perp was being held in.

“Don’t apologize.” He assured and you entered the room beside the interrogation room. Sitting at the table was the man you’d spent the last three days searching desperately for. Fair skin and dark brown hair, medium build. Well dressed and well kept; he was handsome.

“That’s him?” You asked and Eliot nodded beside you.

“Anthony Douglas, he’s an accountant.” You stared at him through the one way. “He was at the school the Friday before the attack auditing something. He lives in the area she was attacked in. When Fin and I went to talk to him the second we brought up the attack he threw a punch and ran.”

“Who’d he hit?” You asked and watched out of the corner of your eye as your partner put a hand to his chin.

“He grazed me.”

“I want to question him.” Cragen came into the room with Novak,

“We don’t have any DNA.” Cragen reminded you.

“So we really need a confession.” Novak added.

“Yeah, I know that.” You brushed past them out of the room Stabler behind you. You paused a moment and allowed yourself to take a deep breath before entering the interrogation room. The man looked up from the desk and for a moment you felt bile rise in your throat but you pushed it down as you fully entered the room, arms crossed.

“Hello,” He greeted lips turning upwards into a small smirk, “and who are you?”

“Let’s talk about what you did to Ashley Maddison.” You pulled out the chair from the other side of the table and sat down in it leaning back eyes fixated on the man’s face. You felt Eliot's presence behind you at watched as the man’s eyes went from you to him then back to you again.

“I don’t know what your referring to,” He answered leaning forward elbows on the table, “What’s your name?”

“The woman you attacked on Sunday night. You don’t remember, Anthony?” He chuckled and leaned back shaking his head.

“I don’t know if you need glasses or something, but I don’t need to rape anyone.”

“Huh,” Your lip twitched slightly upwards, “I don’t think I said anything about rape.”

“You didn’t.” Eliot assured. Douglas tensed slightly and his eyes moved away from you to Eliot again before back.

“SVU? I wouldn’t be here if it were just an assault. And like I said, I don’t need to rape people, sweetheart.”

“I’m not your sweetheart.” you spoke through gritted teeth and Douglas smirked back at you.

“Why not, baby, you know if we met under different circumstances you’d be flattered.” You opened your mouth to say something back but Eliot beat you too it pointing a finger at the man.

“Hey, you shut up.”  Douglas raised a hand and laughed.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you had a keeper.”

“He’s not my keeper,” You assured, “Now let’s talk about Ashley. You left your DNA all over her.” You lied watching for any tells from the man. Your partner stepped forward and placed a picture of Ashley on the table in front of him. “You raped her and then you tried to smash her head in.” He pushed the picture away from him and seethed.

“I told you, bitch, I don’t need to rape anyone, why are you so hooked up on me?” Eliot stepped forward and you shook your head.

“I’m not hooked up on you,” You assured, “Now let’s talk about what happened with Ashley. Why did you rape her?” He was getting agitated and pushed himself away from the desk. He picked the picture up and faced it towards you.

“See this slut? She was alll over me, I didn’t have to rape anyone!” He tore the picture and tossed it at you. “Why are you so obsessed with rape huh? Someone teach you a lesson before?” You felt yourself tense involuntarily. You took a small steadying breath and continued.

“You had consensual sex and then bashed her face in? She said you attacked her from behind and dragged her into an alleyway and you raped her.”  Douglas was nodding his head now practically grinning.

“I’m right aren’t I?” He asked and you tried to push on but he cut you off, “Someone rape you didn’t they? That’s why you do this that’s why you're obsessed with sex crimes.”

“Why did you rape and beat Ashley Maddison?”

“Who raped you sweetheart?” He taunted, “How’d he do it? From behind? In an alley? Is that why your so obsessed with this?” You stood up suddenly.

“So you admit it, you attacked her from behind, you raped her, you beat her and then you left her there to die.” Douglas looked at you for a moment before smirking and sitting back in his chair.

“I’d like my lawyer now, thanks for the talk sweetheart.” You stood there for a moment before turning and storming from the room. You hit the hallway and lifted a hand to your face; it was wet. When did you start crying? Stabler came out of the room behind you and you glanced at him before looking at the viewing room full of your coworkers. You felt sick to your stomach, and hot, you needed fresh air or you were going to vomit.

“(Y/N)” You shook your head and turned and bolted. Eliot caught you in the elevator and you considered jumping out for a moment but the doors shut. “(Y/N)” He tried again and you shook your head crossing your arms over your chest.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You whispered burrowing a hole in the floor of the elevator with your glare. You reached the ground floor and beelined outside. You walked for two blocks Eliot only a few steps behind you the entire time. You hit the park near the precinct and found a bench before sitting down. Eliot sat down next to you but gave you space as you sat silently for a few minutes.

“You know, before I became a cop I went to school for theater.” You spoke finally playing with a loose string from your jacket. You didn’t say anything else for a minute and Eliot cleared his throat and shook his head.

“I didn’t know that.” You nodded your head and let out a small sigh before turning to look at Eliot shrugging. You hadn’t had to talk about this outloud in years.

“I went to Tisch for drama for two years.”

“What happened?”

“I was in a show for the school it was spring.” Yo began, “I walked home by myself from rehearsal one night.” You shook your head, “I uh, had headphones on I didn’t even hear him come up behind me, I didn’t know he was there until he’d hit me.” Eliot watched you quietly and let you get through your story. “He pulled me behind a dumpster and he,” You took a sharp breath, “He didn’t beat me, but he left me laying in that alley.”

“Did you go to the police?” Eliot asked and you nodded.

“Yeah. He used a condom, it was dark and he attacked me from behind, I never saw him, no one was on the street to see him. I don’t even think anyone got questioned. I dropped out of school that semester.” You looked at Eliot and offered his concern a small smile. “I left New York for a few years after that.”

“Seattle?” Eliot asked and you nodded.

“I started self defense classes and then joined the police. Figured, I could help people in ways the police couldn’t help me. I’d do better.”

“So you joined SVU.” You smiled again and shrugged.

“Then the opportunity to return to New York came and I felt ready. I’m doing alright Eliot, I’m coping.” He rubbed a hand over his face and looked at you eyes pleading.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your partner now we’re your squad you didn’t have to hide it from us.” You shook your head.

“I know. I know. I didn’t want it to get in the way of anything.”

“Get in the way of what?”

“Doing my job. I didn’t want anyone handling me with the kid gloves.” Eliot frowned and shook his head at you.

“Nobody would-- Nobody will treat you differently, (Y/N) we all know you’re more than a capable detective.”

“I didn’t want you to look at me differently,” You admitted finally standing up from the bench. “Let’s go back.” Stabler stood up and walked beside you this time as you started back towards the precinct.

“What do you mean look at you differently?” He asked quietly and you tensed. You shouldn’t have mentioned it.

“Like a victim.” You whispered back. Eliot stopped walking and you followed suit.

“What?” He took the few steps to catch up to where you had stopped and leaned down so you were eye level.

“I could never look at you like a victim, you’re a survivor.” He assured you and you gave him a small smile and nod Eliot pulled you into a hug and you held onto him for a moment.

“Thank you,” You whispered before pulling back and giving him a slightly wider more genuine smile. Eliot smiled back and nodded once before throwing an arm around your shoulder and once again guiding you towards the precinct.

“Don’t thank me it’s true. And as for Douglas? We’re gonna nail the bastard.” He promised giving your shoulder a squeeze. He was right, you’d make sure he paid for everything he did to Ashley and any other victims of his they could find.

[avengerofyourheart]

Flour Girl {6} (Bucky x reader AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky (Jimmy), Wanda.

Summary: Discovering the cute guy you just flirted with is the heir of a rival bakery, you suddenly find yourself running into him all over the city. Can your small boutique bakery compete? And how do you deal with the guy who seems determined to make your life a living hell? Luckily you’re distracted by a secret admirer…But who is he? (Inspired by “You’ve Got Mail”, Enemies to Lovers)

Warnings: none! Mild swearing?

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: She’s ready to fight!!! Are you ready? ;) There’s a bit more about the actual baking process in this part. I’m toying with the idea of sharing recipes or maybe doing short videos while making some of the yummy things I’ve mentioned. Let me know if that is of interest! And I’d love to hear your thoughts on this part, all feedback is appreciated and adored! Thank you alll for your love and support. I love you.<3

<<Part 5   Part 6   Part 7>> 

Flour Girl Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

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(**gif is not a representation of the reader, only the act of kneading dough**)

Recipe development was always one of your favorite parts of the job. Inventing some new product that no one else had thought of, testing it out, and then tasting the end result was a satisfying process. Baking was a science and in order for it all to come together, you had to have the right ingredients in the correct amounts. Some people struggled with baking because it required more attention to detail and a lot of patience. You loved it though, every bit of it. Ever since you started making cookies in your mother’s kitchen as a young girl, you felt at home.

In order to avoid wasting time and ingredients, you grabbed a few of your current recipes and took them back to your desk to formulate a plan. After about 20 minutes, you decided to modify a scone recipe and a filled croissant. Having written down your adjustments, you grabbed your bag and told Wanda you’d be back shortly before walking down the street to the market.

Stepping inside the store, you felt your stomach clench at the memory of the last time you were there, that night when you’d run into Jimmy. It was mid-morning, though, and the chances of having a repeat interaction were slim to none. Fetching a basket, you walked down the aisle and selected the ingredients you had in mind before stopping at the cheese department and then checking out.

Back at the bakery, you set out your savory ingredients and got to work. You already had a sweet scone that was selling well in your pastry case. The flavor pairing of tart, zesty orange and rich dark chocolate pieces filling the scone and then drizzled with an orange glaze after baking made for a tantalizing treat.

English scones were much like a crumpet or a buttermilk biscuit, but a little more complex. For the savory version you had in mind, you weighed out your dry ingredients like flour, baking powder, and salt, but reducing the amount of sugar so the other flavors would be more prominent. Cutting up the butter into small cubes, you mixed them into the flour until the butter pieces were the size of peas. Next you slowly added the heavy cream and egg mixed together until it became a dough. Last came the sun-dried tomatoes and cubes of Havarti cheese that would bubble and melt to perfection in the oven. The thought of it made your mouth water.

You turned out the dough onto a floured surface and kneaded it with your hands a few times before patting it into a circle and then cutting that into triangles. You placed each one on a baking sheet, brushed them with cream and sprinkled coarse salt on top before sliding them into the oven. Washing your hands, you cleaned up the table and checked in on Wanda before starting your next project.

The filled croissant combination seemed a little odd, but if it worked out, the taste would be divine. Plucking the pears from your grocery bag, you peeled one of them, halved it, removed the seeds, and then began to slice it thinly. After rolling out a piece of croissant dough and cutting it into long triangles, you spread a small amount of spicy mustard on the wider side, placed a slice of smoked gouda cheese over that, and then layered the thin slices of pear on top. Carefully, you rolled up the croissant and placed it on a baking sheet.

It was easier to adjust and experiment with the croissants, since they were rolled individually. You put more cheese in some, more pears in others and then did a few without the mustard, in case the taste was too overwhelming. You wrote the contents of each one on a piece of parchment in black marker and then brushed them with an egg wash before baking. As the timer went off for the scones, the croissants were ready to go in.

You waited a few minutes before trying the scones and as you glanced at the clock, you were surprised so much time had passed. Caught up in your new experiments, it was a shock to realize it was almost lunchtime. Your internal clock was out of whack anyway, given your extra early wake up call this morning. Just then, your phone chimed so you pulled it out and woke up the screen.

A text from “B”. Seeing the initial pop up on your phone made you smile, and just like this morning, there was an attachment. He seemed to be respecting your desire to keep your interactions anonymous, so you weren’t expecting a selfie or anything. However, you also weren’t expecting a picture of a slice of pizza with the sign for Ruby Rosa’s Pizza. The caption read “Best slice in the city.”

Grinning with a bite of your lip, you pulled up the keyboard to respond.

FG: I might have to fight you on that. Their sauce is much too sweet. I prefer Capizzi’s.

“B” replied with an emoji of a shocked expression with a hand on each cheek.

B: You can’t be serious. Their crust is all wrong! I really thought we could still be friends after the whole Beatles/Stones debacle but this might be the last straw…

Letting out a chuckle you, rested your hip against the table and replied.

FG: If that’s how it is, then so be it. I stand by my pizza. You and your sugary sauce deserve each other. I should have known you’d love it, considering your THREE SUGARS in your coffee.

Those three dots appeared and lingered for a few minutes, so you took that time to taste one of your scones. They were delicious and just as you had hoped, the melted cheese had created delectable little pockets of gooey-ness in the scone, but the sun-dried tomato flavor was much too subtle. It would take at least one more adjusted batch to get it right. You weren’t surprised; sometimes you had to re-make something five times before the recipe was perfect.

B’s response finally arrived.

B: Whew. Alright, alright. We’ll drop the subject for now. I’ll definitely convert you one of these days, though. So how’s your day been?

You felt a flip in your stomach first of all, because it meant that he wanted this…whatever it was…to continue. And honestly, so did you. It had only been a short time, but hearing from him had become the highlight of your day. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know his name or what he looked like, in fact it was part of the fun at this point. Pecking out a reply, you sent it and then made notes on your scone recipe as you awaited his reply.

FG: Day started earlier than I’d like, and ran into that insufferable person but it’s been all uphill since then. :) How about you?

B: Man, can’t that jerk take a hint? Franny doesn’t need any of your dickhead-ed behavior. Especially running on less sleep. ;) I’m sorry that happened again. Need any more distractions? I’m available.

Your heart skipped a beat at that last phrase. He probably didn’t mean it in the way you might have interpreted. Maybe? In fact, since you knew almost nothing about him, it was possible that you were conversing with someone who might be…involved? Married? It was a ridiculous notion, since all you were doing was texting, but there was definitely a flirty tone in your conversations. Or you thought so. It was difficult to tell through text.

Just as you were about to respond, you got a phone call and the name on the screen made your face light up as you answered.

“Hi, dad,” you said with a smile.

“Hey, how’s my little Flour Girl? The big city still treating you alright?” you heard your father’s voice through the phone. You spoke at least twice a week and he always asked how you were getting by in the city, even after living there over a year and half. You loved that he still worried, though, so you just smiled and shook your head.

“The city is fine, dad. The shop is still doing great. How are you?” you asked, peeking in the oven at your croissants at the same time.

“Oh, I’m just fine. Not much changes around here, not like in the city.”

You grinned, knowing how much your dad preferred the quiet, small town life. You told him all about your new savory pastries and everything about the shop, but you held back the information about Barnes Bakery and this new “competition” with Jimmy, or whatever it was. That information would only make your father worry and besides, you had it under control.

Your parents had always been supportive of your career choice, never failing to taste your latest cookies or cake experiments growing up. Some of your first memories were of spending time with your mom in the kitchen. Whenever your dad came home from work, most nights he found you in the kitchen covered in flour. Thus, you became his little Flour Girl. A play on words that also rang true.

When your mom got sick during your senior year of high school, you became obsessed with finding new recipes that would sound good to her and that the doctors would approve. Her passing the following summer left an everlasting hole in your life and heart, but she wanted your dreams to come true, no matter what. She even set aside some money for your bakery in her will, making you even more determined to succeed in her honor. Since then, it had just been you and your dad against the world.

“Well, pumpkin, I better sign off. The boss is giving me the eye,” your father told you after a wonderful, lengthy conversation that you definitely needed.

“Yeah, I better get back to work, too. I love you, dad,” you said, trying to hide the emotion in your voice. His phone calls never failed to make you a little homesick, no matter how much you loved living in the city.

“Love you, too, Y/N. You be careful.”

“I will. Bye.”

Lost in your thoughts after hanging up, you jumped a little when the oven timer went off. Pulling out the croissants, you waited for them to cool before tasting a little bit of each one. Confident that you had found a winning combination, you also had Wanda taste them and select her favorite, which also happened to be the same as yours. Never hurt to have a second opinion. One last test batch of your Sun-dried Tomato and Havarti scones and you felt good about the recipes. Clint was going to be blown away and you’d get your spot back in their pastry case. You were sure of it.

Preparing both the croissants and scones to be baked fresh in the morning, you cleaned up your mess and checked what was needed up front. A few more trays of cookies in the oven and you finally pulled out your phone to respond to B’s text.

FG: Sorry, got interrupted by a phone call and work. But I’ll take a rain check on that distraction.

You read it over one more time, hoping it sounded just a little suggestive but not over the top, and hit send.

B: No problem. Offer still stands. :)

Smiling from ear to ear, you left the conversation there and went about your day with a little more pep in your step.

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Part 7>> 

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OooOOOooohh!!!! Don’t those croissants and scones sound delicious?? *heart eyes* I actually do create recipes and change the flavors of baked good as part of my job. It’s pretty fun. :D And now he find out the origin of the “flour girl” nickname!! That’s pretty sweet, right? And a bit of background about why the reader loves to bake. Whether you sympathize or not, I hope you enjoy those little tidbits. Ooh, a distraction?? B just gets more adorable every day. ;) I’d love to hear your thoughts on this part, any feedback is appreciated. I adore every one of you!! Thank you. <3

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[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 5

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine.

CHAPTER 4: MEET THE FAMILY PART II

In which Row and Gina finally confront each other.

"Thought you didn't want anything to do with us" Row made his presence noticeable for the woman sitting on the rocking chair.

He had been watching them for a couple of minutes, since returning from a last supply run for Piper's stuff. He was only gonna get a few more onesies, but ended up with:

3 rattles, six onesies (one of each color of the rainbow),

a nightlight (which, come to think of it was ridiculous because his room didn't have lids so it was never really dark due to street lamps)

and another two pinkies to add to the collection of 9 he already had at home.

Gina looked up from her granddaughter and to his son, who leaned against the doorway with arms crossed.

"If you can't beat them, join them. Is that what you're doing, mom?" He added, before she could speak.

"I'm not your enemy." She said

"Bloody seemed like it."

Gina sighed. She really didn't want to fight now, so she looked down to the infant again "Gotta admit she's gorgeous." She grinned.

He beamed proudly "You bet"

"And how are you?"

"Nearly as gorgeous"

"I mean mentally.  Cause you look like shit"

"Why, thanks Mom"

She rolled her eyes. "How are you sleeping lately?"

"Funnily enough I can't sleep at night because I'm worrying about her. Really. Had a week when I could last sleep through and I couldn't"

"Good start"

"I'll manage"

"Just promise me something"

"Depends"

" If she's actually yours..."

"She's mine mum."

"Listen. There will be times when she won't let you be. On your bloody ears for days on end. I believe you made me lose half my auditive capacity. And that's stressful. Now, you've never been the best on anger management..."

"Mom..."

"Let me finish. It's normal. It will happen. You will probably want to suffocate her with a pillow -I did sometimes when you were this little-. If that or any close thought comes to mind just put her down and walk away from her, and hit something. Do whatever you have to do, and call me. I'll help you out. But put her down first somewhere safe. Understood?"

"Mum I don't need~"

"Understood?"

"Understood"

"It's not her fault"

"I know"

"Don't make her pay for it"

"I'd never"

"I hope so"

"Really mum. I love her. I'm gonna do my absolute best, I'll be the best dad ever, I will always be there for her, I'll put her always first, I won't let anything happen to her."

"I just don't understand why you want to do this"

He shrugged, reaching over to caress her warm cheek "I just can't get enough of her, I guess. I can't explain it. She makes me... I don't know. But I can't imagine her with any other last name or any other father."

Gina grinned to herself. It made perfect sense "Speaking of last names, you got a full name?"

"Oh yes um... Piper. Piper Rock Queen" he smiled

"Oh... Err, Rock?"

"As in Rock'n'Roll of course"

Gina couldn't help an eye roll "It's too late to talk you out of it, isn't it?"

"Very much so. She's already registered." Row smiled as he had already predicted mom wouldn't like it. The idea of naming her Gina had briefly crossed his mind, but that was more common. And he knew his daughter was special, so she deserved a cool, unique name.

"So Piper Queen" Gina looked.at the tiny being in her arms.

The mentioned opened her baby grey eyes as if she knew she was the topic of conversation.

Gina had to smile. She was beautiful. She already had Row's eyes.

"Hello there Piper . I'm grandma." She cooed instinctively.

Row would deny it, but he was relieved to hear her say that. She was there for him. For them. And that was more reassuring than anything.

"Yes, hello dearie."

She let out a distressed moan

Row looked at his watch "She must be hungry" then leaned over until he was inches away from his daughter, in her short distance field of vision "You wanna come with Daddy? I bet you do." He cooed, and carefully slid one hand under her the back of her neck and her back

"Mind the head"

"You're 8 days late" he said, taking her with ease -as he had been doing it for a week- and nestled her on the crock of his arm "Good morning, you beautiful thing. We're going home tomorrow. Yes we are, I'm so excited" he spoke with high pitched voice as he gently bounced her, and Gina had to admit that he was quite a natural.

The genuine love in his eyes was the same -or even more intense- as he had have 8 days before when he had first laid eyes on her.

But that could still change quickly, a little voice reminded her.

"You're so lovely, darling." Her son continued, eyes fixed on his new daughter as if she was the only thing that existed.

His daughter.

The realization that she was now a grandmother shrunk in Gina.

Damn she felt old

And if this was to become a tradition, 19 years from now maybe she'd be a great-grandmother.

God no.

She then registered what he had said

"You're getting discharged tomorrow?"

Row looked up at her voice as if he had been snapped out of a trance "uh?".

"You're getting discharged tomorrow?" She repeated

"Oh, yes" he smiled, looking down again "Yes we are. We're going home! Yes darling. And we'll have so much fun..."

"Do you have the equipment?" Gina had to interrupt their little conversation:

It was good that he was genuinely looking forward to it, but that didn't mean he had any clue or had thought about alll of the things a newborn needed. We're talking about a boy who tried to put the washer on without detergent, and who would always leave coins in his jeans when throwing them in the laundry.

He was capable of letting her sleep in the couch and feed her cow milk from a tin a can and a straw.

"Yes. The basics anyway. Carseat, clothes, bottles, formula, diapers, pinkies, more pinkies, more clothes... Oh, hopefully I'll get the boys to help me out building the crib. Haven't had the time yet"

"Where will she sleep until then?"

"With me in bed. I know it's dangerous cause I could suffocate her and blah blah blah, but that's not gonna happen. I'll be careful and... Well let's face it we're not going to sleep much, are we?"

Gina had to chuckle "You have it all thought through."

"Of course I do"

"Okay, not bad. What about bathing?"

"The sink will do cause she's so little, right?" he cooed, and she whined in response so he went to a bag and got a bottle out "Yes sweetheart, that's your milk. Yes. I'm gonna have it heated up for ya, okay? We'll get Callie." He smiled, and as if on cue, the young woman walked past the room. She stopped for a moment when seeing the older woman.

She smiled: she knew she'd come. She stuck her tongue out at Row when he noticed her, as if saying <<I knew it>> and he waved her away with a wink, tossing her the empty bottle so she could refill it.

Gina stayed the rest of the morning. She was curious, actually, about seeing her son as a father. Turns out he handled it quite well. Once she was fed, he changed her, played with her (game consisting on him making all sorts of faces to her as she stared intently up at him, one hand on his hair and the other around his index) until she got tired and fussy. After that, he only had to call Callie once cause he had really messed up with the swaddle and both him and his daughter had lost their nerves.

"There, all done. Don't worry baby, your daddy will get it eventually." The nurse cooed at the bundle, as Row scratched the back of his blond head.

She then turned to Gina with a bright smile, and repeated the same words she had told her When they had first met 8 days earlier.

"And you must be Grandma"

And this time, Gina smiled and nodded "I am"

Then the nurse turned to Row, whose  attention was back to his child, and mouthed an "I told you."

And when he had have to go the the toilet and the babe had woken up, there had been nothing Gina could do that had calmed her down until Row finally came out and held her on his chest.

"Already a Daddy's girl. Goddamn it" the new grandmother commented with a slight grin of disbelief and marvel.

"Well I'm not complaining" Row smiled back, as he walked around the room in hopes he'd get her to sleep.

"Wait until girl wants daddy three times in the middle of the night" Gina half teased.

"Well, daddy will get up. As many times as she needs me I'm gonna be there" he kissed Piper's forehead, as she began to let her eyelids drop.

Her smile grew at the confidence in his words. Perhaps they could all make this work.

She watched as he walked the room a few more times, humming a little tune Gina hadn't heard before, and only when being sure she was off, he laid her down and sat on the sofa, between the cot and his mother.

"She's a real doll" Gina commented quietly as they both watched her sleep. "Or at least appears to be."

"Yea. She manages to stay cute even when she's crying like crazy."

"That's cause she's your daughter. I thought the same about you, but that's bullshit: every newborn baby is, objectively, ugly. But we love them anyway and that's why they become, in our eyes, the most beautiful thing in the world" she looked through her purse and got out a cigarette. (Remember this is the mid 80s, where smoking was allowed everywhere, as far as I'm concerned).

"No, mom. Not here" his eyes flicked to his sleeping daughter

"Why not?"

"It's not good for her."

"The cigarette's for me, not for her."

"She'd be second hand smoking. And her lungs are very vulnerable."

Gina scoffed. "Dear, I smoked through the first three months I was pregnant with you, then, as soon as you were out my butt, the first thing I asked for: a cigar. And then your father too. And you're fine"

"I had pneumonia three times as a kid"

"Oh please, don't you dare blame me for that"

"I'm sure they were related"

"That's bullshit! That's a bunch of shit the government made up to raise the price of cigars and rip us off!" Gina always raised her voice when sensing she was losing an argument.

Which never failed to set his son off too.

"It's a fucking scientific study!" He yelled.

"Says the boy who would take money from my jackets to buy tobacco at 15!!"

"Yea so?"

"Don't go all anti-smoking on me, when you smoke just as much!"

"I've quitted, just so you know!"

Gina laughed "Yes right." and put the cigar between her lips, getting a lighter out her pocket.

"Get the fuck out of here" he stood up, as he tried to contain his anger.

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of here!" He repeated, louder. He could handle her questioning him: they were both stubborn as hell and he was used to it. But he wasn't gonna let her get her way and disrespect him this time, especially when it was his baby and her health at stake.

"Oh c'mon Rowan"

"You light that shit up and you won't have to worry about being a grandmother, or a mother for that matter"

She froze and looked defiantly at him with at him with the corner of her eye.

"Was that a threat?"

"Of course it was!"

"Oh c'mon, you wouldn't be able survive on your own for a week, let alone taking care of a baby!"

"Just you watch! I don't need anything from you!" It wasn't true.

"Oh please! Don't be ridiculous. Last week today you lost the last copy of your flat's key, and guess who had to save the day? Oh, I got it, the same woman who helped you buy the damn house in the first place!!!"

"Well that's what you wanted, huh? 19 years up my ass, telling me how bad you wanted me to come of age so I'd be gone!"

"Yes because living with you was a nightmare! Always had to clean after you, and make excuses for you when one of your "conquers" from the night before turned up on my doorstep because you hadn't called them back or whatever bullshit! And now this?" She pointed at Piper

Row stepped in front of the cot protectively, staring menacingly at the woman "This what? Huh?"

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're playing to, but I ain't taking care of her when you get tired of pretending to be Mr.Mom!!!"

"Oh believe me I'd rather leave with a raccoon than with you"

"Well that's a relief. Any raccoon would have a more stable life and responsibility than you!"

"Oh yes any raccoon would have more support than what I'm having!"

"I told you where I stood from the beginning! I told you I'd wash my hands off you if you chose this!"

"Then what the fuck are you doing here now?! If you washed your hands off us, why did you come? To judge me? To repeat all the bullshit you already told me 8 days ago? Or to try and convince me to turn my back on her like you?  Well, bad news for you, Gina, that ain't gonna happen. I love this kid unconditionally, more than anything, above myself and anything else, which is apparently way more than you ever loved me.

>>And you know how I know that? Cause I'll support her in everything. Even if I don't agree with it. And I won't push her, or put pressure on her to finish school or get a job. And if 19 years from now I've become a grandfather, I'll be there for them. And if she wants to drop out school cause she's sick of it, I won't force her. And if instead of a secure stable job she wants to follow a dream I can't even begin to understand, I'll help her in any way I can." He kept stepping closer to the woman as they made unbreakable eye contact, until she was against the wall, and snatched the cigar from her. "SO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT OR YOUR GODDAMN OPINIONS! SHE'S MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER, AND I SAY WHAT I WANT HER TO BREATHE!"

The small whine that usually preceded a cry broke the air, and Row instinctively reached over to put one foot on the cot's wheels to rock it back and forth and try to calm her down before she woke, holding his mother's defying gaze at all times.

It didn't work though and a wail escaped her lips, drawing her father's full attention as he turned around to look at her (with an automatic soft features that had nothing to do with the agressive behaviour he had showed no less than a second ago).

"Hey prune princess" he cooed, resting a hand on her stomach. He didn't want to pick her up while fighting with Gina. He didn't want to scare her further than he already had with that shout. "Hello sweet stuff. Everything's fine, go back to sleep, c'mon"

She whined again. Row sighed, leaning towards her untill their foreheads were glued so he was in her short distance field of vision and began to pat her tummy in gentle rhythmic patterns. He forgot Gina's presence, and their argument all together at the sight of her, because she was all that mattered.

She quieted down instantly, safe and warm below the familiar mop of blond hair that she already associated with calm and shelter. He remained in that position until she was asleep again, gradually slowing down the rhythm, untill he stopped.

But still he didn't move. He didn't want to. He didn't want to resume the fight with Gina. Why did every single one of their conversations have to end in an argument?

So he stayed glued to her, taking in all the strength and the power of will he was gonna need to face his mother again.

"I came here to meet her" she spoke, this time in a calm manner.

He sighed, pecking Piper's forehead before stretching up and turning around "And?"

She sighed. She sucked at this. But he -well, they- were her only family left. And inside, she had to admit she was at awe at his decision and determination to follow through.

Who said he couldn't make it work?

"And to apologise" she finally said.

"What for?"

"Oh you know it."

"Yea but she doesn't."

"She won't remember any of this."

"But perhaps one day she'll want to know, and I'll have to tell her Grandma was too proud to admit she was wrong."

Another eye roll "Alright." She walked to the small bassinet, which was still being moved back and forth by Row's foot "I'm sorry I was such a bitch about all this, dearie. I just know your... " She sighed, the next word still tasting weird in her mouth "your dad too well and I guess I'm worrying. Cause that's what family does. I just hope it's in vain this time. Good luck, you little bugger"

Row smiled. Gina's apologies wouldn't mean a thing without a couple insults towards him here and there. That was just her way.

And he guessed she had passed it down to him, just like one day Piper would get retention for shouting a few f words in kindergarten.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Author's Note:

Please please whoever's reading this, reach me out. I'd really like to know if all this hard work is worth it!!! Reblog, Ask, Comment... Even a single emoji would make me smile.😍😍

And as always, Hola to my dearest @definitely-darcy whose marvelous mega-paragraphs help me improve way more than any English class ever has.

-Pookie

[acreasy1]

I was tagged by @joi-in-the-tardis  Thank you, my friend!!  :D 

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Iced Coffee (I’m still working on it...) 2. Phone call: My mom- called to let her know we were almost home. 3. Text message: My hubby 4. Song you listened to: Human, Rag’n’bone Man 5. Time you cried: Last night on the way home...and maybe in on the way to work this morning?  I can’t remember.  HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Yes 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: I better not have been.  9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No.  And I’m 38.  I don’t like puking and I’m not a huge fan of alcohol.  So... LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. Blue 13. Green 14. Pink IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I have, as a matter of fact! 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: I don’t think so...I laugh a lot, though... 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t exactly lead an exciting life.  I doubt anyone takes the time to talk about me.  lol 19. Met someone who changed you: No?  I mean...not that I”m aware of. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes?  This question seems so loaded.   21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I have!  GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Nearly all of them.  23. Do you have any pets: We have a couple fish in an aquarium.  24. Do you want to change your name: I changed my name when I got married...  Well, my last name.  I’m fine with Mandy as my first name.  I’m rather used to it.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Oh!  We were in Tennessee and on vacation!  We went to the Smoky Mountains National Park and to a dinner show! It was pretty much the best birthday ever! 26. What time did you wake up: The alarm went off at 6:15, but I didn’t drag my sorry butt out of bed till 6:32. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night:  Sleeping.  Mmmm....sleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: We are going to the Adirondacks Sept. 10-15.  I’m pretty excited about that!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday!  :D  We drove out to visit my mom and dad over the weekend. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish everything wasn’t such a damned emotional challenge.  I can’t just ever *do* anything, there’s always like a ton of “mental paperwork” that I have to go through first.  It’s exhausting.  31. What are you listening right now: The sound of typing and some of my co-workers on the phone. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I’m not sure.  Probably?  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I just wish people could mind their own business.  34. Most visited Website: Probably either Tumblr or Facebook LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I have one on my neck, and a very light tiny little one on my cheek. 36. Mark/s: Like scars?  On my arms, one on my left pointer finger (KFC accident!) and various others on my knees and such from...being a kid. 37. Childhood dream: I just wanted to get married.  Like...that was always my life’s ambition.  Careers are for other people, not for me.  I wanted to be a wife. 38. Haircolour: Blonde.  It’s getting a little darker as I get older, but it’s still blonde like it always was.  39. Long or short hair: Long-ish?  I can put it in a pony tail and a bun, so....I’m going with longish.  40. Do you have a crush on someone: CE?  :D  <3  41. What do you like about yourself: I am silly and fun. 42. Piercings: My ears are pierced but I haven’t worn earrings in like 2 years. 43. Bloodtype: O+  44. Nickname: Mandy, Mando, Wifey, 45. Relationship status: Married 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Doctor Who, Simpsons (old ones!), Golden Girls, all of the Farm shows from BBC- Wartime Farm, Victorian Farm, Tudor House, Edwardian Farm..., Downton Abbey, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries...  50. Right or left hand: Lefty 51. Surgery: I will die before I let someone chop into me.  Thanks.  52. Hair dyed in different color: I get highlights sometimes, but not recently.  Right now it’s pretty much just my normal hair color, grays and all. 53. Sport: ...  I don’t like playing sports all that much.  I am uncoordinated and hate being embarrassed.  55. Vacation: I’d love to go on a vacation that I didn’t worry about before we went.  Hahahaha.  Dare to dream. 56. Pair of trainers: I don’t really have a favorite pair.  Just...they’re good for walking.  Yep.  MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I do this, every single day, without fail! 58. Drinking: Diet Pepsi, milk, coffee, tea, water, uh...those are the most common. 59. I’m about to: Get back to work- this is taking longer than I thought it would!  lol 61. Waiting for: 4:00.  I want to go home.  (It’s 9:43.  Not good.) 62. Want: To stop feeling like I need to cry all the time.  God, it gets old!  I am so tired of just feeling perpetually sad.  63. Get married: Task completed 9-18-04 64. Career: No thank you.  I am a data processor, but that’s just a job. 65. Hugs or kisses: Both 66. Lips or eyes: You can kiss with lips, so I’ll go that way! 67. Shorter or taller: I like taller, but I’ll take shorter, too.  lol 68. Older or younger: It’s funny because...I just like talking to people- age sometimes doesn’t matter so much.  :)  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Um...arms, I guess? 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.  I’m not happy hanging around with loud people.  I want to run.  72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.  If you make me mad, though, I’m pretty direct. HAVE YOU EVER 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No (I don’t have them, so...) 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: No 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: Yes... 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: I rely on myself, but I’m not sure if I believe in myself. 85. Miracles: Not so much. 86. Love at first sight: Not really 87. Santa Claus: Why wouldn’t I?  He’s real!!  ;) 88. Kiss on the first date: I haven’t dated for like 20 years.  89. Angels: I don’t know.  Not really.  Maybe?  If they’re real, just like everything else, I doubt they care.  They’re just around.  Doing their own stuff. OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Kristin, but we call each other Friend!  :D  91. Eyecolour: Blue 92. Favourite movie: Some Like It Hot, Big Trouble in Little China, Adventures in Babysitting, Almost Heroes, Maverick, alll the movies from my youth!  lol Tagging: @chocolate-and-fandoms, @chiaroscuroverse, @ciara-jane, @badwolfinthetxrdis, @fleurdeneuf, @hanluvr, and anybody else who would like to play along!  Come join in! 

[voidmade]

novel-length rant ahead

i feel so disillusioned by life, nothing is like it was supposed to be and i don’t even know where to start

first of all uni life has been a pathetic disappointment. moving out of a town(and country) that i hated was supposed to end almost 2 decades of pent up frustrations,b ut it has bought me nothing but misery. i worked so hard to pursue something i was passionate about, fashion design, and got in a pretty good school but everything flopped afterwards. the method of teaching rather inhibits me than inspire, the crowd is an omogenous flock of rich pretentious privileged kids i’d rather not affiliate myself with-i did expect to find interesting, original people with similar mindsets buuut that didn’t happen, and sadly- i’ll soon have to stop my studies because not only i cannot keep up financially anymore but my mental state slipped so far off i’ve been unable to do proper school work. at first i thought it was just my usual apathy or laziness but even this particular field of fashion which once brought me joy now leaves me indifferent. i cannot bring myself to care anymore, i feel unable to create- i haven’t had an original idea in months, and before i used to make artworks as frequently as i could, not even magazines, my biggest love, cannot warm me up. and this overall indifference doesn’t stop here, i lost my appetite to read as well, even though i used to practically devour books and read 100 in a year- i cannot even focus to read 1 page now. films don’t appeal to me anymore either. art galleries leave me cold and travelling or at least exploring the city don’t mean anything to me now. basically, all my love for life is and small things is gone.

second of all, my personal life is pretty much in shambles. failing so much in uni really affected my mental state, but a big part of those failures were caused by issues outside it, so it’s been pretty much a vicious circle. i’m living in a place which i absolutely hate, with a landlord who is not only the biggest annoying weirdo of all times, but a blatant racist, homophobe and quite sexist as well. i cannot even invite people over without him getting upset. and not to mention, i live 20 km away from the city and commuting almost on the daily s u c k s. alll my attempts to move out were pointless: i either don’t have the budget, don’t know the right people or i’m simply not the tenant people are looking for. this situation has brought me on the verge of tears so many times, and i’m not one to cry easily at all. above all, i feel so isolated from all the other people my age, who live together, have their own social circles and overall just...have a life and living it fully. meanwhile i just wallow in my misery, admiring from the side. 

the other things holding me back is my financial status. i come from a lower middle class family, meaning we could’ve barely afford paying our living expenses while i was still living there. with me moving to another country, they’ve been struggling even harder. so obviously i had to get a job. but all the good ones i applied for, even in places some of my classmates were already working, rejected me, even though i managed to do my best at the interviews. so i had to settle for something so fkn low-paid i was basically exploited. after a month i quit bc it just made me below miserable. now i do have something else, better paid but since i just started i only get very few hours, which is not really enough to cover my rent.

and last but not least, i simply feel completely empty. i did get in a relationship but my feelings simply aren’t there.i did manage to help the other person immensely only by being there. and ending this thing just because i’m not ~feeling it would simply destroy that person, and i don’t want to do that.

also i didn’t manage to make any friends here, except 2 or 3. all my other good old ones are back home. so i feel pretty isolated.

oh and...all this fucking void i feel inside me cannot be filled with anything. attention, love, food, alcohol, sex, drugs....nothing helps. i cannot even enjoy them, they just somehow make me feel worse. i feel this emptiness so deeply sometimes it almost hurts. that’s the closest i can get these days to experiencing an emotion.

i cannot even talk with my mother anymore. i don’t answer to her calls for days on end. i simply don’t have the power to interact with her anymore. and sometimes even messages from my closest friends have to wait because...i simply cannot do it. some days, my biggest achievement is answering a text or cleaning my room. or simply showering, which i’ve been skipping even though i used to be obsessed with personal hygiene. it’s literally that bad.

overall, everything is simply...wrong. i know i shouldn’t compare myself to others but to me it seems that they just have it all better than me. they can keep up with their degree, they don’t have to worry about surviving, they have nice jobs, they live with people they like, have plenty of friends and all in all...they live their life like normal people this age should do. and of course, i feel envious. because i’ve been pushed aside and only admiring things from afar, never being quite able to get them for myself since... ever. i’ve missed out on lots of things and i feel i’ll continue to miss out on more. i cannot help but wonder, what is it that keeps me from enjoying things like a regular person my age? why cannot i have that life too? 

really, it might all seem trivial but i am so tired. i just want to enjoy life for once and not feel like a reject. i want to be stable and content.

[anyorderofus]

Famous last words.

Evening all!!

We hope you’ve had another positive week and are ready to start the next!!

As it’s our penultimate week (I know...madness) we thought we’d let our entries do the talking!

Next week, for our final blog of this project, the title shall be...wait for it...yes you guessed it...Elton.

You have no idea how much we wish this week’s had been next week’s but, therein lies the beauty of life. The surprises and sudden unexpected finales, now, please enjoy this week’s entry!

Nico&Alexandra|Alexandra&Nico

NICO

I want to play a game. I decided to list some famous last words from movies. I mean the words themselves aren’t famous in some cases, but the fact they’ve been heard by millions of people and have echeod through pop culture history makes them pretty famous right? Now there are tonnes of blogs (I couldn’t say literally as I don’t know how much a blog weighs) regarding last words by characters in movies, I haven’t checked BUT what I hope will make mine more interesting is I’ve turned it into a quiz! I’ve put the quote now it’s up to you to remember which movie they’re from and which character said them! Now don’t worry, it is challenging, and I don’t necessarily think these are the best movie deaths ever or anything, just 10 that are from movies most film fans would have seen, also naturally they’re very dramatic, otherwise we wouldn’t remember them. I made a rule also that I had to remember them myself before double checking to make it fair and make sure it’s possible. Hopefully there’s a good mix in there too, family films, cult films, blockbusters, etc, but they’re all known.

So there’s no eye-rolling these are selected by the context of their death in the original narrative. If they come BACK as ghost, as a vampire, as a cyborg or just miraculously with a new hat in a sequel, reboot 40 years later, sidequel, prequel, reimagining, TV show (clues clues clues!) they ended their lifespan, within the context of the original material, after saying these words. Example, the T-100 dies at the end of both Terminator 1 & T2, different characters, even though same actor same model robot etc. Also if you don’t remember from these quotes, you just don’t remember, and that’s ok.

AND to help you narrow them down if you’re completely stuck, I’ve put them in order of release date so you can have a bit of a hand as I want this to be fun, not a massive headache finishing in you kicking yourself…in the head. Again, I’d like to point out, original release date, not cinema re-releases, ‘definitive cuts’, remastered versions etc etc (more clues clues clues).

Ok! So here we go, ten famous last words!! Good luck!

1.    Secure our turf…BECAUSE IT’S ALLL OUR TURF!!

2.    …and all these moments will be lost in time…like…tears…in rain. Time…to die…

3.     You were right…you were right about me…tell your sister you were right.

4.   You think you can kill me with bullets!? I take you’re f*****g bullets! Go ahead!   

5.     What was it you said to me before? Yippee-kai-yay...mother-f****r?

6.    Now the light she fades…and darkness settles in…but I will find strength…I will find pride within… because although I die…our freedom will be won…though I die…La Resistance lives……..on.

7.    Shadows and dust.

8.    I feel......cold.

9.    It’s been a funny sort of day, hasn’t it?

10.  It’s ok boss…this was never going to work…unless they had something to…

ALEXANDRA

I don’t need my last words to be famous but I want them to be extraordinary.

I make no secret of wanting to see my name at the top of a poster on the walls of the National Theatre one day in the not too distant future and I guess I have always imagined my last words being said on stage.

Imagine:

The year is 2207. I am approximately 190 years old and starring in yet another key role on the NT Stage in a play that is yet to be written*.

*I know, one day a lady over the age of 45 will have a key role in a stage play. Another blog perhaps.

My character’s granddaughter comes in and asks me a profound question about life as a human in a world of robots, probably – because it’s 2207. She will ask me something like, ‘Were we always this obsolete?’ to which I will give an equally profound answer. 

My granddaughter will continue to talk but, awaiting my next line, the actor playing her will look at me, repeat her line and think, ‘Oops – perhaps she’s fallen asleep again’. But nothing. Eventually, she will touch my cheek – still warm – and feel my last breath leave my body. As she lets out a small gasp and a single tear, Gary will let the safety curtain down and –

BOOM! The lights dim on Broadway, in the West End and even at that little regional theatre I toured to in my late twenties. The headline of The Stage will be the last line I said and soon become a trending hashtag on the 2207 equivalent of Twitter.

I’d get two ‘last words’ in if I died on stage, wouldn’t I? The lasts words as me and my last words as me in character. That would be extraordinary.

And if that doesn’t happen, which it very well might not, and if instead, my last line happens in a futuristic nursing home as I reminisce over whatever life I’ve had, that would be okay too. Because I suppose it’s really more about who you say your last words to than what they are. It’s about who you leave your legacy with.

Even if ‘Yes please’ to, ‘Do you want Countdown on, love?’ are my last words, at least they will be polite.

If they are ‘I’ll have a coffee and a chocolate digestive, thanks Carol’, at least they will have shown me to be decisive and have had good taste.

And if, in or out of character, my famous last words are ‘No dear, we were extraordinary’, then I could always be remembered as that.

And that would be okay.

[honeygrip]

An Ode...

I swear y'all… this is the most romantic thing I’ve ever written…

Once upon a time in a small sector of our large world there lived a woman.

This woman (for the intense purposes of this story is me) anyway- there I was, this woman, who searched far and wide for a man who was charismatic, intelligent and thoughtful. Someone who was well spoken, physically attractive and dynamic enough that his beauty and brilliance matched her own.

This woman (me) met men all the time who were okay, and okay is OKAY. There is nothing wrong with okay, if you can stand it’s mediocrity. Some of the men had some of her list of qualities; however most of them didn’t have a majority. So time after time, in this quest to find the perfect man for HER (ME). She… I mean, I- would hit a snag.

I’d try multiple approaches, dating men who were merely okay, creating the rotation, going out with those guys who liked me more than I liked them and “trying to make it work”, lowering all expectations, settling for fuckshit and little dicks and of course, swearing off men altogether. And for all my earnest approaches- nothing seemed to work. None of this seemed to really satisfy me, I was either attracted to the guy but we lacked chemistry or found really nice guys who I just wasn’t physically attracted to. Guys who seemed very close to possessing all the qualities I desired but our timing was off or we didn’t want the same things and then of course I found one guy who was everything I’d ever wanted in a man. EVERY SINGLE LAST FUCKING THING- I EVER WANTED….. except HE WAS A HOE.

Sigh.

See. He was tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, well spoken, charismatic, narcissistic, full of himself, and KNEW he had what every woman desired and in this day and age, realistically speaking, how can a woman blame a man for taking advantage of odds stacked so high in his favor?

Because behind that polished and attractive veneer lied a fucking savage…

Dude had the most magical ability to make every woman feel like he loved her and for every love deprived woman walking around the try state area- how many of us could not help but fall under such a powerful spell?

We are magical, us black girls- but we are still mere mortals.

Aside from his most magical ability- women were also fiercely attractive to this guy. It seemed he could not go a day without women approaching him, wanting to sample his magic stick or test their own fortitude.

Every woman wants to be the one to make a player give up the game.

I am no different. I tried multiple times, in various ways to encourage dude to retire his jersey. But if one thing is true, it is this.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE.

They have to want to change themselves.

So no matter what I did, or tried, I would find myself failing time and time again. And with each attempt, I would fail more miserably than the last. Yet and still, I still loved this dude with all my  motherfucking heart.

I loved him enough to accept him, the good, the bad, the ugly.

I loved him enough to accept that he was a hoe.

I loved him enough to try and look past it- but sometimes that shit is HARD.

I know men have options but listen nigga, love is A CHOICE.

You have to CHOOSE to give up the options… You have to DECIDE to not be a hoe.

Can we be totally honest with each other?

Nigga. You a hoe. You love women, but not one woman. You love pussy, but not the deepness of the woman “behind” it.

Nigga. You ARE a savage. You love how women adore you, you love the attention they provide. You love the way they stroke your… EGO. You love your powerful ability to turn women into love sick slaves with the turn of your magic wand and then love to watch as all their defenses melt away. You love the comfort they each provide you. You love how each one swears their fealty to you, making you their King. Vying desperately, to belong to you, to be a part of your kingdom. Each patiently waiting to see if she has the fortitude to get you to hang up that ratty ass jersey.

Nigga… you too old to still be chasing pussy ain’t you?

Wait- how old is too old? I’m asking for a friend.

Pussy is ALLL the same, nigga. New pussy is a trick, nigga.  Don’t you know that?

Stop abusing your powers nigga…

Nigga, stop being a hoe already and let me love you.

Let me love you. Properly. Let me love you unabashedly. Let me love you the way I’ve always dreamed I could love the man of my dreams. Let me finally release all these insecurities and be the dynamic lady I want to be. Let me show you how wonderful building a real solid intimate and MONOGAMOUS relationship can be.

Let me trust you so I can chill and relax. Let me let my guards down so we can be in love together and make the world vomit.  

I just want to love you and be with you and belong to you and make the world vomit. Can we do that?

I mean damn! Is it possible… really

Can I turn a hoe into a housewife?

Can I walk down the street with you and not wonder if every girl who smiles at you is not some woman you’ve fucked?

Or if every other chick on your followers list is not as madly in love with you as I am?

Can I finally stop worrying over every other bitch on the planet?

Can I finally stop googling how to kill every other bitch on the planet?

Can I stop feeling so ashamed for loving you because you a hoe and just be able to be like: yeah, that’s my nigga now and yeah I know he USED TO BE A HOE ASS NIGGA BUT SO WHAT I LOVE HIM AND HES MINE.

Or am I forever doomed to be unsure because the truth is you can’t delete your hoeness.

Hoeness simply does not work that way!

Instead of sitting here at my desk rambling- and googling…

NIGGA.

Can you stop?

Can you?

[survivor-marianas-trench]

“I TOOK A PHOTO WITH AN ONCOMING TRAIN!!!” - EPISODE 2

Me not being first boot??? *NUT BUTTON MEME* Amanda slaying and staying??? *NUT BUTTON MEME* Carson going and me, Liana, Christine, Lily, and Sam still being here even though we aren't officially aligned???? *NUT BUTTON MEME*

Ahhh me and kait did that i didnt expect it, im not sure how everything worked ut but it was wild whew, so many votes, im wary of kait cause she mightve lied to me but im hoping i can trust her

i only sent 1 pic for immunity so then i get lowest and i have chance of getting to cave or exile or whatever the heck and then hopefully i get idol and win the whole game woohoo

Well, that was a messy af tribal but it worked! I mean after the hell I went through, voting rob, then voting Amanda, then voting daisy only to find out I was too late and had to stick with rob! Like wtf. And for daisy to go home on a 3-2-1-1-1 with 2 null votes.  Like ok. And now we have a selfie olympics!!! Currently I'm sitting pretty with a 30% advantage in the challenge and 84 photos of things with the beginning letter for M or T!!!! I really would like to win this and stay immune for as long as humanly possibly lol. These tribals are messy right now because loyalties are just being formed Speaking of loyalties!! AMANDA!! I already love her #ThanksAHud! And I'm so glad that we are buddies! I'm just hoping that things work out for the both of us

That vote was a mess it seemed on Rob and Kait's tribe. Glad they stayed and Christine survived too. I'm not surprised Kait's tribe already voted for her, meanwhile the rest of us are sitting over here like: https://68.media.tumblr.com/894a6591ab3e2d171e8fec5d31ecbaeb/tumblr_omkup57QeN1r1gu3po1_400.gif

So Darian wins immunity.... https://media2.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/200.webp#6 but I am also like  https://media0.giphy.com/media/IqO3mXbMLztHa/200.webp#4 See, I love Darian, but the issue is, I'm not sure if i can trust him, so he sort of needs to go soon,  but I see him sort of clean sweeping these immunities and that makes me a little worried honestly. I don't know what to expect this time around, and I am about to start sweating.... https://media0.giphy.com/media/VB5WwlZIt8eRy/200.webp#1

I'm a mess *takes a shot of vodka* I had 125 photos and forgot to turn them in. I TOOK A PHOTO WITH AN ONCOMING TRAIN! 

This feeling around camp has been so strange and I'm not sure if it's because I won or just because every tribal isn't gonna be the same. I had more people talking to me for the first tribal like right after results were posted and serious game talk with the whole tribe. Yesterday night only Sam, Lily, Christine and Dan messaged me but we didn't even talk game. (Well I guess that's about the same amount of people, but like the conversations were less in depth like they were the first time.) I just feel aimless in this game and I don't really have a good strategy. I'm not even sure I want to make it far because it always gets ugly once you get far enough. Lily just solidified our alliance of 4 (Dan, me, Sam, and her) and I think it'll be easy enough to ride it out with them for a while. I'm wary because I don't have anyone I'm really close to (because these are people I usually don't play with!) so I kinda feel like I'm on the bottom. Lily and Dan seem to closest and I know in the past Sam will have multiple close allies and not necessarily stay loyal to one overall. Kelsey freaking randomly disappeared again! If anything I'd trust him a bunch because he's new and I can influence him more easily probably into giving me information and voting with me, but I can't do that with this weird continued activity/inactivity. Might he actually be a catfish? We will never know. Also!! Silly Gabby and Jonny having too much fun in One World last night. I knew Jonny was in Rakiura but that's basically it. Now I know they know each other irl probably thanks for the tea y'all!! (ricky, goodness, you have too many friends in this game since I'm pretty sure you know sara irl too with all these Washington/barista coincidences!)

Moments later...

Oh! Yeah I forgot to mention that I'm trying to get the tea about the loser place since unfortunately I did not lose. I'm not close to Veronica (as in I have not talked to her since Day 1) so I have low chances of finding out from her, but I talked to Billy last night and asked him to ask Chrissa about it. Though he said earlier how he's not close to Chrissa so I'll probably end up asking her myself! :/ Since I don't plan on going to loser place, I need to make friends with everyone who goes so they can give me all of their idols/advantages...or at least agree with me on how to use them!!

I want Sam gone!!!

Why was I stupid enough to pick the thing that makes me inelegible to compete in challenges? I'm an idiot. 

so i don't know how to vote this round and no one is talking! like are you guys serious omg 

Sorta feeling indifferent about the challenge I tried super hard! But either way congrats to all that won! Someone had like 100ish I think I saw? Oh hellll no girl doing the most. Nervous for trible tonight it'll be my first! I don't think I'm going home though, I talked to Jordan and he said hunter because he didn't submit anything for the challenge and is pretty quiet. I don't even know the kid but as long as it's not me ya know! TBH if it had been my decision I would have voted Julia. The girl has "I love being beautiful" or some shit like that as her fucking quote on skype like ew girl your hella extra. 

i like kait and amanda

I'm just like so over Sam so I'm trying to get him out as revenge for Eddie. Fake ass. If I can't get him out in Emathia, might as well get him out here.

20 minutes later...

My allies are Rhea, Kait, and Darian (even if he did vote for me). I like Emma but I know she's probably upset about the first vote. Sam and Steven, you can go. I can try and bring in Andie and Amanda close to me, but it will be fishy to do it now. That's on my tribe. I like Jenn too, and Sam, and Shea <3. You never know in this game, I might go out, but I think my position in the tribe may increase? I can see it. I love Rhea so much. She's the purest cinnamon roll I've ever met. <3 100%

OKAY! So now that I actually have time, I've been talking to people on my tribe a lot more. I've been talking to Billy, Chrissa, Jonny and Gabby and they all are reasonable people. Whilst talking with them we talked about how Hunter is pretty inactive in the game and that we could look at him as a potential first boot from the tribe. The whole twist of us being in One World and only have individual immunity has kind of flipped the entire game on it's head. Usually, weaker members of the tribe are targeted because they're a liability but weaker players don't really matter as much this season because tribal immunity exists. Which means that people that are stronger in challenges may start to be targeted to give those weaker people a better chance at winning individual. Honestly, good job Ricky and Monty because I've never seen this before and it's kind of fun. 

Well I didn't win the last challenge... My document glitched and I lost most of my pictures, but the fact that I would have won still keeps me going!

Kait is the best duo every she cuts the shit and gets right to the point and we murder everyone together its so fun. That being said I can't wait until i get to a point where i can work with my loves Luke and Dan. Also im going out and ACTUALLY having a social life so this is all the updates youre getting from me tonight! Wooooo

i cant believe i worked to get a self vote when i already had one like the FUCK why do bad things happen to slightly nice people 

I literally don't know what's happening bc I've been gone all day bc it's spring break, but I know I'm not going so BLESS

Well. Officially in an alliance with dan, Sam, and Liana. I love it. We are called the game changers but I wonder if everyone is doing that right now. Veronica should be going tonight, but I question if it should be shea. But I think Veronica is a good vote right now and shea would be better for the following vote. I don't know honestly if either goes it doesn't matter too much to me. I love this whole tribe but someone has to go. 

I confess to shovin a whole bag a jellybeans up my ass.

so basically this round i lost immunity again but idc bc i know these ho's and they not gonna do anything... I hope. So basically the plan was for veronica to throw immunity and get last so she could go on the reward and scout it out for steven and i bc us 3 r in a alliance. she did but she got a self vote. basically everyone wanted to vote veronica but bc of sheas fight with carson we r voting shea. i feel bad bc i like shea but i cant lose veronica this early. i put my neck out on the line so if i get sent home ill be sad but ill def understand why

ALLL RIGHT so this round i haven't done much/heard anything BUT IM WATCHING BAYKOR WILSON PLAY MUSIC AT JONNY FAIRPLAYS BIRTHDAY PARTY AND THE DEAD GRANDMA IS HERE 

My drunk ass needs to write a confessional in the next hour oops!! I hope that Veronica goes but apparently it's either Veronica or Shea. I just really hope it's not me. My tribe is quiet as fuck so I have no clue what's really hoping. Here's hoping my drunk ass makes it through 

i'm dead @ finding the idol. my goal is to idol liana out i think that'd be a boppin time, but for now i just wanna like continue not really doing a whole lot and let rob keep being out there on everyone's radar while i just say that no one talks to me so i can get more tea from them bc they think i'm in their back pocket. voting sam tonight.............i'm poppin' bottles! nah idrc about him leaving, he never talks to me and it's always like really forced when i go out of my way every fucking time to start a conversation with him. it's just really frustrating like i hate this tribe so much. social game says hello, freaks! i kinda hate having the idol because it's so much pressure to like play it at the right time and premerge is so delicate, especially with so many people and with me not really having a TIGHT alliance i just whew.

I think I'm going :( no ones socializing with me. Billy is just a cop out, says he doesn't want to throw out a name. Pssstt

My, my, my. What a LOVELY week this has been. So currently, our tribe is back at it again with dat council swag. I didn't do well in immunity, like I knew I would. However, if anyone can win, I'm very glad Miss Moana SNATCHED the title. Last tribal council, I flopped. I was inactive and that's unacceptable so this week I'm really pushing myself to be a deciding factor force like Ariana Grande deciding to snatch weaves when she breathes. With my reputation currently, I don't think people really assume that I even have it in me to be strategic. Little do THEY know...they are wrong. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Now, Seamus has informed me that the vote is Shea. However, Seamus is a GOOBER. Shea and I have really become close and the fact that Seamus literally pms me to vote Shea BEFORE asking me how I am shows his inner Kesha: his True Colours. I don't really like the fact that Seamus is just treating me like a free vote because I know what his intention. I already can smell that he wants to drag me as a cute, innocent vote until he makes the merge with his best friends and takes me out. THAT'S going to be a no zone. Although that is the persona I'm going for, I feel like Seamus already has suuuuch a big plan for getting to the end and...I'm not a part of that. And if you're going to count me out, henny, count on getting to stepping. Or something exotic like that, tee hee~! I feel really nervous for Shea. I told her that Seamus was wanting to eliminate her and she immediately almost spoiled everything. She's an emotional player and that's the kind of I want to keep around. Those are the ones who never see through my fakeness and the kind that are targeted before good ol' sweetheart me. The only other option is Veronica so for this week, I'm going to try and flip a few people to do so. The last vote was so unified that it's quite scary actually...if things keep going the way they are, I have no doubt that eventually it'll be my log chopped by the axe. My advantage for this week's vote is that no one really has a reason NOT to trust me. With Veronica, they KNOW she's a scrappy player. And I believe I can use that to my advantage. Y'all don't know me, y'all don't know what I've been through! And NO ONE is going to believe that cutesy little Arianator weeabo is pulling strings. I learned from my past Tumblr competitions that playing aggressively gets out fast. I know now playing passively gets you treated like a child. Here...everything has to be subtle. Small little touches, here and there. And if you do enough of that, maybe the trickle of water can erode the rock. That's what I'm hoping to do here. If somehow, we can do the impossible, not only will I establish myself as a real C.O.M.P.E.T.I.T.O.R in this tribe, but I'll have pulled off a blindside that's really shocking and game changing. Maybe it's a bit too early to be calling shots...but I've got to do something. I think people already have caught on to the fact that something's afoot and the alarms are already blaring. I'm past the point of no return, so even if I wanted to, I can't allow myself to have regrets! I carry the name of a queen of BBCAN and a king of The Vampire Diaries. I'm here to slash throats, save my family and wear ugg boots. And hopefully...this is the start of something legendary~! Wish me luck, darlings! Certainly sincerely, Canada's Self-Proclaimed Favourite; Kelsey Mikaelson! <3

ALRIGHT...So I'm really hoping Shea goes this tribal cause like....He can't be chill for one second in this game.  Literally the plan was to get Veronica out but once he hears his name he quits? C'mon now.. Don't even get me started on Kelsey telling him his name was thrown out cause like!?!? We're doing that so no one gets in trouble here why are you doing this!?!? I just don't understand Kelsey like I really wanted to like her but...She's on thin ice at this point. I just hope this isn't a ploy and something goes wrong but I guess we'll see!

So like wtf is happening, cause I don't have a clue. I'm loyal to Emma and I guess maybe Rhea. Idk Rhea just talks to me sometimes but right now that is good enough for me. Right I'm just waiting for a tribe swap so we can stop going to tribal every round