#I was very torn because I think most other fans will like that CD more than I do

[simcardiac-arrested]

creamverse iterator oc lore masterpost

(LAST UPDATED: 14/08/24)

hi! so if you are a cream fan and a fan of my iterator ocs specifically, you might've noticed that i have been building a storyline around them. most of it happens on the @dj-wayback askblog, but sometimes it gets drowned out by other silly misc asks, and is simply just hard to find if you haven't been keeping up since the beginning so i have decided to try and write a (long) summary of what exactly is happening, what characters are important and what their backstories consist of 👍 make sure to check out the oc tags linked if you want to know more!! i will only be including story-relevant and important comics/animatics, but there are also other drawings that provide context and serve the story (along with just misc art of my ocs)!!

THE MAIN CHARACTERS AND THEIR RESPECTIVE BACKSTORIES:

No Way Back (he/him) (ref + toyhouse info here) is an Iterator who was created specifically to try as little as possible and to put no effort at all into solving the Great Problem. The Ancients thought that by being effortless NWB would actually end up solving it in the end somehow, but that's not what happened, and so his creators turned out to be quite disappointed in him, which resulted in him being blamed, neglected, and more. However, there was one Ancient, who, after finding out that NWB was a dissapointment (just like them), decided to befriend him. The both of them ended up being best friends, almost family, spending almost all of their time together and teaching each other new things about life. In the end, though, despite promising to never ascend and to always be there, Wade ended up leaving NWB along with the rest of the Ancients. Ever since then NWB has been pretty much alone, just making music and trying to still find meaning in life, all the while repressing his emotions regarding the Ancients (including Wade, too). Needless Separation (they/he) (toyhouse) is an Iterator who was created specifically to work as hard as possible and to put all their effort into solving all problems, not just the Great one. In the beginning, they were handling it just fine, even finding the time to indulge in art and many more things that they found joy in. However, after NWB's failure to provide any results, all of his workload got transferred to them, all because their creator was too prideful to let any other Iterators handle it. NS was obviously struggling to keep up with it all, which is when Waves decided to take matters into his own hands and make his creation more 'productive'. Waves ended up purging NS' memories, even those of skills they have taught themself, until all NS could think about was work. Waves ended up ascending before NS could truly fulfill any of his expectations. Ever since then they have been overworking themself to death, unable to come to terms with their trauma, instead blaming NWB for most of it. Wade (any pronouns) (ref here) was an Ancient who was never like the rest, who came from a traditional family consisting of her parents — Waves and Breeze — but hated everything about tradition. She was just a chill guy who wanted to get away from everything and to live the life she always dreamed of: by the sea, with her best friend, doing whatever they wanted. It has not yet been revealed why or how Wade ended up ascending and leaving NWB.

IMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERS:

Weaving Tales (they/them) (toyhouse) is the senior of the Entwined Local Group. They are most concerned with NS and his overworking habits, even though WT chose to share some of their senior duties with him. Weaving also seems to always be worried about CD and FTA, although for vastly different reasons.

Cognitive Dissonance (she/they) (toyhouse) was an experimental model who caught a virus and basically ended up rebooting. Before that, her and NS used to be very close, although neither of them remember that now.

Fates Torn Again (he/she) (toyhouse) is a younger Iterator who, paradoxically, is both best friends with WT and has a secret vendetta against NS. Is it really just jealousy? Or is there something more to it? MISCELLANOUS STUFF:

NWB has a pet lizard, Slinky (who at one point got the Mark of Communication), and NS has a pet lizard-slugcat hybrid, 33. You can see more of those little guys on the askblog! Both Iterators are also part of an entire local group, who you can read about here — the characters from it will show up in the story and be important (specifically WT, CD and FTA, but others will also play a role). THE CURRENT STORYLINE: NWB opens his broadcasts and begins receiving anonymous messages. That's cool. However, after a bit, he starts getting messages about the Ancients, specifically about how they mistreated him. Which is not something he wants to think about! Ever! But everyone just keeps bringing them up, and NWB ends up having a breakdown over it, all his repressed emotions coming to the surface and making themselves known.

After he is forced to finally start unpacking his issues, he stops messaging NS — who, by the way, he's kind of enemies with! They're the entire opposite of everything he stands for, and he just thinks they suck, and they say they hate him anyway, so he usually only interacts with them to troll them or something (even though they both did share a few good moments together sometimes).

But anyways — he stops messaging NS, who, by this time, has gotten used to talking to NWB (and slightly started caring about him because of that, and started getting slightly worried because of the radio silence, but they'd never ever admit it). After fighting with themself over it, NS, with little warning, decides to contact NWB to see how he's doing, which results in, well...

So, now NWB has to deal with both the Ancients' and NS' bullshit (as well as some not-so-pleasant memories), and he crumbles under the pressure just a little bit. He decides to take a break from receiving messages (he goes to host the Iterator OC Swag Awards specifically, which you would think would be a non-canon event, but, err...) and instead lets NS take the wheel.

Long story short: they do not have a good time. Despite being painfully aware of the fact that they messed up, they try their hardest to avoid admitting it. In the end, after a panic attack regarding their past leaves them vulnerable, their conscience sneaks up on them and forces them to face everything they've been trying to ignore. NS doesn't take it too well and also stops responding to messages, even though they do still read them.

They decide to go to Weaving Tales, their mentor and close friend, for help, who tells them to own up to their mistakes and apologize. So that's what NS does. Or, at least, tries to do—it doesn’t go like they expected at all, but maybe that’s for the better? The both of them make up, in the end, a new start to their relationship. And—even though they do come across some bumps in the road—it seems to be the start of something good.

Well, keyword: seems. Because while NS is indeed trying to be better like they promised, and while they have fun answering messages together with NWB, they keep speaking out of turn. They come to the conclusion that, perhaps this one time, NWB isn't the problem, they are.

So how does NS deal with this information? They do some research on how to improve your relationships with people. And it actually works! Look! See? Or, wait, that's not right... Why does Wayback look so bothered? Could it be that Sep's self-improvement plan actually made everything... worse? Well, there goes that idea. But hey, at least now they know they should be (2% more) honest with each other.

...aaaaaaand that's where the story is currently at! congrats! !!! you now know what's going on in the cream iterator oc universe!!!!! i'll try to update this post as more stuff gets revealed so, er, check this out if you ever feel lost about what's happening? i hope i've explained everything well. like i said at the top of the post, i tried to include everything important, but there's still some stuff that is worth seeing!! so go look boy (plural)

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

My Ranking of Shin’s Drama CDs

Oh boy did this get long so I’m putting it under the cut. Updated as of July 2020.

Some quick notes before I start: -I am only including main series full drama CDs so no bonus CDs or mini-dramas (which means I have not included the Operation X CD as that features different versions of the song and a mini-drama). -I am ranking these CDs as someone who is deep in Shinhell, therefore I'm only really focusing on interactions with him in these CDs -Expect mild spoilers -And lastly this is all based on my own preferences so if you have a completely different order for these CDs then that is 110% okay With that out of the way, let’s go (^^)ｂ

11) Lost Eden Vol. 3 Tsukinami

It may come as a surprise that this CD is ranked lower than CL when it features both of the Tsukinami brothers, but I had to put it here as it’s the only CD on this list that I can’t see myself relistening to very much (if at all). Unlike their DF CD, which I would recommend listening to even if you’ve played Shin and Carla’s DF routes, I would not say the same for this CD if you’ve played their LE routes. I don’t feel like we really get any new information or interactions out of it, even if it is always nice to have some scenes with Shin and Carla. I also don’t feel like the writing was terribly strong here as there were a lot of very short scenes, particularly in the beginning, which made it feel a little choppy. Additionally I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a Diabolik Lovers CD with so little bloodsucking, I think Carla and Shin each bite you once and that’s it (which means I can’t even recommend it on fanservice grounds). I would only recommend getting this CD if you’re a die-hard Tsukinami fan and you already own most of the CDs on this list as well as some of Carla’s and you don’t mind the slightly sad tone to the ending (tbh I would actually recommend getting the Operation X CD over this one).

10) Chaos Lineage Vol. 3 Orange

I think if you’re a fan of the Tsukinami brothers as a duo rather than favoring Shin, you’ll probably enjoy the LE CD more than this one, but if you want a good Shin x you/Yui scene then I think this is probably the better pick. Although there’s only one bloodsucking scene with Shin, it’s very hot because he actually likes the taste of your blood. It was also fun to see the relationship dynamics between the characters in this different set up (although this might be a bit redundant if you’ve played CL). That being said, this CD isn’t any higher on this list because none of the other guys in it are that high up on my favorites list and as the boys’ memories have been altered there’s no romance with any of them either because they have no clue who you are. The conclusion feels very unsatisfying as this CD is just a set up for the game, although at least unlike the above it doesn’t have a sad undertone. 

9) Versus III Vol. 2 Laito vs Shin

Honestly I’m sad that I had to put this CD so low down but I just like the others more. It’s interesting to see Shin interact with Laito, especially as they really don’t get on that well. There’s also a scene where Laito gets EXTREMELY distressed which really hits you the first time you listen to it, as it’s such a break from the usual facade. However like all of the versus CDs I’ve listened to, there isn’t really a conclusion and there isn’t that much plot to this one either (or least not compared to the other CDs on this list in my opinion). If you’re looking for some hot bloodsucking (or a very anguished Laito) then this is a really good CD but if you’re looking for something with a bit more feeling on Shin’s part then I’d say other CDs on this list are better for that.

8) Versus II Vol. 4 Carla vs Shin

This CD has a special place in my heart because it’s the first CD I ever heard with Shin in it and one of the first DL CDs I ever bought oh how far I have fallen. It’s also the first drama CD the Tsukinami brothers appeared in, and as a result they’re not exactly nice to you. Still, I like that it offers a slightly different version of their first meeting with you/Yui than we get in dark fate and as their opening CD I think it does a good job of introducing them. This is a really good one to get if you’re a Tsukinami bros fan and you like mean founders because there’s no romance here.

7) Versus IV Vol. 1 Ayato vs Kino vs Shin

I was very torn as to whether to put this CD higher or lower as it contains one of my favorite tracks of all time, but that’s just the problem; I only really like one track. The track in question, features a very desperate Shin and it is such a treat to listen to. My problem with this CD is that Ayato and Kino are not terribly high up on my favorites list and so tracks with them, while still enjoyable, are not ones I choose to listen to that often. My other issue is that this CD is set up as though the heroine has chosen Ayato, which is great for Ayato fans but not so much for me (T_T) As much as I like hearing Shin sound desperate, I prefer it when he knows he’s loved. 

6) More, More Blood Vol. 4 Tsukinami Shin

Okay I can’t really explain why this CD is where it is without majorly spoiling it but I’ll try my best. First off, I love the first two tracks of this CD, it’s almost pure fanservice and the scenes feel like they’re straight out of one of the scenario chapters from the games. I was super invested for the rest of it and it was interesting to see Shin deal with the plot of the CD, but then there was the twist that takes place towards the end and I just spent the rest of the CD like ( ﾟoﾟ). I do think it’s good from a writing perspective because I really didn’t see it coming (that might just be because I’m an idiot though) but it also made me feel slightly disconnected from the story. To be fair, I felt a lot better after listening to the bonus Another Story track that came with the deluxe edition, but I think if I’d just bought the regular version then I would have found the ending a bit unsatisfying.

I think how much you like this CD will be entirely dependent on how much of a fan of the twist at the end you are (but I can’t say anymore without spoiling it >_<). If you can spare the extra cash I would 100% recommend getting the deluxe edition over the regular one just so that ending feels a bit more rounded out.

5) Dark Fate Vol.1 Chapter of Eclipse

It might seem strange for me to put this CD so high up as only two of the four tracks feature the Tsukinami brothers directly interacting with the listener while the other two are flashbacks to when they were trapped in Banmaden. However it is a really good source of information on the Tsukinamis if you haven’t played Dark Fate (in fact I think it might actually go into more detail on some aspects than the game does). The flashback scenes include Giesbach’s death (although he does not have a speaking role) and how the Tsukinamis discovered that they could break the seal keeping them trapped. On top of all of the information, you do also get a very nice track with Shin which features quite a bit of bloodsucking and menacing behavior. I will say however that I would recommend this to fans of darker content as there is no fluff/romance to be found.

4) Zero Vol. 4 Tsukinami Shin

I enjoyed this CD in a very different way to how I thought I would. Originally I thought I’d like it for the bloodsucking fanservice scenes with portrait!Shin but I actually just enjoyed the tracks with the real Shin. The final fight scene between Shin and portrait!Shin sounds incredible and I like that this CD has a satisfying conclusion (unlike the versus CDs where it just ends on a bit of cliffhanger after bloodsucking with multiple boys). While the concept is refreshing and I like that Shin has to defend you from an actual villain, I guess I just prefer the CDs that focus on your relationship with Shin.

3) Born to Die Vol. 2 Tsukinami Shin

Okay if you’re a fan of soft Shin content and you haven’t got this CD yet, do yourself a favor and get it because it’s 47 minutes of pure Shin fluff. I do think that if you prefer the darker side of DL then you’d enjoy his Zero CD (or his MMB CD) more than this one but for me personally, partly due to the animosity I felt towards Shin’s portrait counterpart, I like this one more. The final two scenes are really romantic (and they actually made me cry) and the conclusion is satisfying. That being said, I also like my fluff to have a side of angst, which is why I can’t rank this CD above remaining two, but if you just want to have a romantic date with Shin then this is the CD for you.

2) Bloody Bouquet Vol.7 Tsukinami Shin

This CD makes me so emotional ;-; It distresses me a bit because Shin sounds like he’s dying for a good part of it but I like that emotional aspect of it. Some of Shin’s dialogue in the penultimate track is pretty romantic (even if you are in a terrible situation) and the final track just makes me melt (ﾉ∀`♥) Morikubo always does an exceptional job as Shin but this CD is the one that sticks out in my mind the most for the voice acting, it is sooo good. The reason this CD is not number 1 is because as much as I enjoy it, listening to Shin suffer is pretty painful (made worse by the brilliant acting).

1) Para-Selene Vol.4 Tsukinami Shin

This is honestly my favorite drama CD of all time. The main reasons for this are that I like the concept a lot and, to me, it perfectly showcases the aspects of Shin’s character. You get some hot bloodsucking in the first track, some tracks where he gets really angry (which is great if you’re a huge masochist like me) and towards the end you get to see his softer side. Overall I feel that it showcases his faults as well as his good points in an interesting way which is exactly what I want out of a drama CD with my favorite character.

So what do you think? Which of these CDs is your favorite? My askbox is always open for discussing Shin related topics

[littlecafe]

ohh for sure pledis is still a trash company but even they decided to do bus routes and ads for their 10th year. i really do hope that something does come out of this and more information is revealed, esp if kfans are starting to say stuff now. it just pains me that it might not change anything, unless maybe they speak up themselves.

have you seen the state of the albums fans are getting too?? theyre getting ones that are missing cds or photocards, and there have been many with ripped pages in the middle (which happen to all be aron's pages) its clear this is probably due to the lack of quality control during manufacturing, especially if this album is as rushed as it seems. they most likely skipped a whole part of product checking to get them out faster.

ahh i didnt even think about that ;;; i hope theyre able to find a good contract because thats the least they deserve. i find it so difficult to wish them well and hope for their future because OF COURSE im going to support them, but the feeling of injustice just overshadows it and it just hurts. yea i think their staff team got dissolved, their performance director posted a goodbye to the practice rooms. its so sad that a whole team of people lost their job too

yup lmao like even pledis had stuff planned so that's why i can't blame them as much for all the terrible stuff going down because seems like their staff (the ones working on nu'est stuff ofc) was also caught up in this mess and didn't know what was happening either

with kfans making more noise about it now i really hope we get some answers but i won't get my hopes up for it since it's scary for anyone closely involved to speak out against a big corporation like that and honestly, maybe they don't even know why this happened either but at this point i'd be happy to accept a "i didn't expect this to be the last album" or anything along those lines just for closure that we were not just crazily assuming things this whole time (even though i think it's pretty much a fact now with that album behinds video though it wasn't a straight forward statement from anyone)

what??? noooo i had no idea that albums were arriving damaged?!!! everything about this album is so low quality, poorly managed, and rushed from the design portion to now even the manufacturing causing damaged and defected albums? they really did not pay attention at all omg

also a minor thing but i'm very peeved that the cd itself for this album is in a paper envelope...it looks so thin on video but since i don't have it on me i don't know if it is actually easily torn paper quality or not but like are you poor or something???? it's a hard cover book style album which usually wouldn't come with separate cd like that because there is always a place for the cd to be held, even worse because this entire album has zero design so the envelope is just plain white with the same 1234567890 logo that they've slapped on literally everything

the quality is severely lacking...while looking for the torn albums i see a lot of fans complaining about how much empty space the photobook has like blank pages or just really tiny pictures for no reason with the rest of the page just being white??? like i understand you're (whoever worked on this album) trying to pass this on as "minimalism" but absolutely no aesthetic eye, my sis filmed her unboxing it for me and she pointed it out right away bc it just looked so bad and done with no intention

and also my judgement might be skewed here since i've mainly only bought day6 albums which relatively cheap for some reason lol but this nu'est album seemed to be on the more expensive side of the price scale right? the effort is not justifying that price

letting someone go without prior notice is really shitty and on top of that they did this to them while kinda letting them believe that nu'est would continue so the members probably weren't thinking to look into other companies or contracts at all...absolutely no protection or care for their artists whatsoever

yes me too!! i really hope they manage to negotiate good contracts and we get to hear from the ones that left soon, whether it's a signing with another company or just their plans about what they're going to pursue or if they're just going to rest a while, just anything! it's also getting closer to their enlistment time which really spooks me because it's really hard to get over that 2 year hurdle without a group with a sturdy fanbase or a good company to come back to, they have a very short amount of time to cement themselves and their brand as a soloist before that time which is hard

of course i will also support all the members in whatever endeavors they choose to go on, but going from group to solo is a hard transition (speaking solely if they stay in music as a singer) and i know many loves will also continue to support all members but with almost every boy group to soloist transition, the numbers do not lie and they tend to fall off for solo activities (everyone has their own biases and also not everyone will have the monetary means to physically support like that so it's normal for this to happen...), but it's so much worse if it was a decision forced onto you rather than one you've made yourself so i worry for them right now...the way this was handled is really unfair, they seriously gave them no time at all ugh

that's so terrible :((( dismissing their whole team too...instead of getting better, this situation truly just gets worse and worse the more you hear about it, i truly feel for the staff who work hard by nu'est side...none of them deserved this, everyone involved in this mess is so unfortunate and i wish them all the best going forward

sometimes i'm not even sure if i'm making any sense in these answers to you, like this hurts my heart and my head like if this was something the members wanted it would be sad but easier to accept but it ended like this

[emrysaf]

A-Z Affection Prompts

Spike - V (Vows)

Here it is Anon! Hope you and whoever else reads it, likes it!!! Like I replied to your ask, this RAN away with me. So, it is LONG. Sorry?? - EmrysA

“Vows are powerful things," he said. "They set things in motion.”

― John C. Wright, Orphans of Chaos

You knew you weren’t the first mortal that had been wooed by a demon of the night. Whether that be by an actual demon, a vampire or any and all things in between. You knew most mortals that had been on the receiving end of said wooing were very, very dead now. You also knew the type of mortal this specific, bleach-blond vampire had claimed to love before.

And if anything, you were nothing like the infamous slayer; Buffy Summers.

William “The Bloody”, aka Spike, and yourself had been dancing around each other for years. Due to your innate ‘fight’ response when confronted with a flight or fight situation, Buffy had saved you some time ago and as luck would have it you became a part of the Scooby Gang. 

However, in high school, you had been a few grades below them all and still felt like more on an outsider in the group. This would lead you to sitting just outside the group or a step back from them on “missions” which Spike picked up on.

--“Us outsiders have to stick together,” he said one day after he yanked you by the collar of your sweater to avoid getting your face scratched off by a demon.--

There had always been a sense of comaraderie; a closeness. But you could see, despite the closeness and your budding feelings, that the undead, brain-chipped man only had eyes for the gorgeous slayer. And who wouldn’t? So, you tucked it away and told yourself it was a teenage crush.

Then there was Glory and Buffy sacrificed herself.

Eventually Willow brought her back, but she was. . . Different. This Buffy seemed to, maybe, feel the same for Spike that he had been feeling for her. 

When that song and dance demon came you were more than happy that everyone else seemed to be paired off. No chance for a song to force it’s truth out of you. But before he was officially gone, you had seen them. Together. 

You broke that little bit more. No, not break. Your heart was torn that bit more.

As an outsider, without a love or a love to recover from like Xander, you could see what was happening. Like looking inside while being locked out.

Willow was losing her grip. Things had been strained before the song and dance of truth and death. Then they reached a peak.

But eventually Tara would forgive her. You just knew that look of love, despite everything they do to hurt you; intentionally or not. Like when they sleep with someone to get over someone else, and then everyone is hurt.

Absolute shit hit the fan when Warren did the unthinkable. Attempted, and almost succeeded in killing Buffy. Murdering Tara.

The Willow you know is gone. Spike was gone. Something had happened, but no one was talking.

Then, in what felt like a snap, everyone was back. But different. And the apocalypse was nigh again. Yay.

-------------------------------------------------------

Now, with his soul back, Spike was picking up your dance like nothing had happened over the years. Like your heart was bright, and shiny and new. No one had bothered to look outside the house at you. You who had also changed and grown in ways similar and so very different from them. Always there. Dependable.

Enough.

“Spike, what are you doing?” you mumbled in an exasperated tone. “We have stuff to do. All those teeny-boppers in there need places to sleep with pillows and blankets. We aren’t in this store to fuck around.”

While you pushed a cart through the looted store to get things to return to the Summers’ house, he was messing with a small radio in the corner. Fiddling with the knobs even though you both knew there was no station anymore.

“Trying to find some bloody music, love.” Then he seemingly gave up and let his eyes rove around. “Aha!”

His small smile was disarming as he took quick strides in your direction to reach past your face to grab a small package off a shelf. He brought it up to face you while he scanned the back. A CD. 

You were going to fucking stake him. Here and now.

Quickly, he was back at the radio and starting the CD with a light hum. Rolling your eyes you turned on your heel to continue searching the store for anything everyone would need. Your mission was aborted as a larger hand grabbed your wrist firmly and tugged you back to Spike as the first bars of Bon Jovi’s ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’ started filtering through the speakers.

“Seriously William,” you intoned incredulously.

“What?” he asked with both dark eyebrows raised up to his hairline.

“That’s really enough.” You were now more upset over your aching heart than his refusal to help you search the store, as you had been a few minutes ago. And, unfortunately, you were an angry crier so you were trying to move away so as not to be caught.

But nothing really goes your way in these situations does it?

Spike had gripped both of your shoulders as you were turned back to face him, but that didn’t mean you had to look at him. You tensed up to seem more angrily-distant than you were, and prayed to whatever deity that this would be over soon.

“Okay Poppet, that’s it,” he began. “What is going on? We always find a way to have a bit of fun in the bleak. Remember? ‘Us outsiders have to stick together.’? But you’ve been avoiding me for a bit now, and just now you were angry. Bitterly angry.” 

Silence.

Another sigh from him, “It’s been like this since I came back. I know I did some things, and I have to earn forgiveness. But that’s why I got my soul? I thought you- I thought having a soul would-”

“Would what? Impress Buffy? Yeah, we all know that.” you cried out as the dam you had built completely shattered. Tear-filled eyes locked onto his, “‘Outsiders stick together’?? You left me. I was fine how things were. You loved her. You PICKED her. But at least I had you on the outside with me. Then you just left us. Me. And now you want to do this thing? Playing around on an important mission? Grabbing at me? Trying to dance to cliche rock songs? Making me- Feel. So. Much. Like it’s a game. . .”

Sobs were wracking you, and despite all you had said your body craved his for comfort. And he didn’t fail to tug you into his arms; clinging to you like you had said you were the one leaving.

“You’re right,” he muttered and you could feel the vibrations in his chest, the breath on your hair and his slight shaking as he teetered between gripping too tight and knowing his strength. “I did pick her.” 

You went to break free, but he just twined his arms a little tighter while one hand came up to cup the back of your head. “I picked her because she was unattainable, at first. The one I wanted, they were too good for me. They could escape this all if they just decided to walk away. I wasn’t going to be their chain to the horrors of the night. Then. . . Then Buffy was broken. Not quite human or whole. Like me, and I dove into it because the one I loved was tempting and pulling. But love isn’t about what’s best for you. It’s about them.”

Your sobs had died down to shaking breaths as you let yourself relax a bit. But not daring to hope.

“I’ve done terrible things. I didn’t want to be the terrible thing that happened to them. Then I made mistake after mistake to claw my way out of my infatuation. Something she, Buffy, said made me think. I could be a better man. And if I was, then- Then I may be a step closer to deserving the one I love. Getting this soul broke my mind a bit, but I found my way back. I thought I could do this right. Right by them. Start with the friendship we always had.”

“Them. . .”

“You. Always you. Even when loving you broke my heart.”

Now you shoved off his chest a bit and he let you. Hoping this was the thing that would mark your turning point. Knowing, one way or another, things would never be the same.

“I don’t think hearts break Spike,” The breathy words left you of their own volition. All your love, heartache and pain over the years coming to the surface. “Shattered things can only be broken once. But torn things can be mended again and again until it’s all scars and stitching.” A pause to catch your breath. “How can I know? I’m not like them. Any of them, let alone a remarkable, strong, beautiful slayer like Buffy. And now? Of all times, this is when this happens. Of course. The fucking apocalypse is practically here and-”

Truth be told, he had barely heard anything after you spoke of your torn heart. The love, and pain from that love, bleeding through to his own heart and soul. And now you were rambling. His thoughts were simultaneously racing and non-existent as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.

Your words and breath were caught in your throat, eyes wide. But as his mouth pressed more insistently against your own all thoughts fled your brain. Your hands lifted to feather through the hair at the nape of his neck, and he groaned as his hand cupped your head again to pull you closer. 

Your lungs cried for relief and you slowly pulled away as he rested his forehead against yours.

Both of your eyes were closed as he spoke up, “I promise- No. I vow to never let your heart be torn again. To never leave you outside looking in alone. To always be there, in arms reach when you need me, love.” He took a deep breath as both of your eyes opened and locked onto one another’s again. Faintly thinking back to your rambles he went on, “You will always know. Know I love you. Cherish you. See only you. Choose you. And if this is the end. Of the world or just of our lives; I will find you. Time and time again. I vow to love you in this life and all the others we may have. I vow that I am yours. If you will be mine?”

A tear slid down his face, but his eyes only held truth.

“I always have been,” you said as you looked into your future. Your forever and always.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: Load/Reload

Metallica’s sixth and seventh studio albums were released in June 1996 and November 1997 respectively. The two albums can be taken into consideration as almost a double album as most of the songs on each album were all written around the same time. The records would see the band venture completely away from thrash metal into the realm of hard rock, blues, southern rock, and even country. A majority of Metallica’s loyal fan base would be completely alienated by the album and the new Metallica image brought out during its promotion. James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich once again acted as the primary song writers for the record, which began at Ulrich’s house in California in 1994. They would bring in almost 30 demos to Plant Studios when recording began in 1995, so the decision was made to split it into two separate albums. The artist that influenced the songs on Load included Kyuss, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, Primus, ZZ Top, Pantera, Corrosion of Conformity, Ted Nugent, Aerosmith, Oasis, Alanis Morissette, and Garth Brooks. Lars would have this to say about the criticism towards their new musical direction. “This album and what we're doing with it – that, to me, is what Metallica are all about: exploring different things. The minute you stop exploring, then just sit down and fucking die.” For this album, Hetfield and Kirk Hammett began to experiment with blues style riffs and guitar styles, while Ulrich began to simplify his drumming style getting rid of the double bass drumming he had utilized on every album to date. Hetfield’s lyrics abandoned any consideration of politics or society at large, but instead became very personal about his depression and sadness regarding his late mother and Cliff Burton. Other tracks focus on his own depression in dealing with these issues. Metallica was trying to gain a looser vibe with the music on this record, so Hammett for the first time on an album played rhythm guitar. For this record itself, the run time comes in at almost 80 minutes making it the longest LP the band ever produced. They needed to cut out one minute of the “Outlaw Torn” in order for the cd to play correctly without skipping. The back cover of this album had this explanation on it: “When we were doing the final sequencing of the 'LOAD' album, the record company told us that we couldn't go a second past 78:59, or your CD's wouldn't play without potentially skipping. With our 14 songs, we were running about 30 seconds over, and something had to give, so the cool-ass jam at the end of 'Outlaw' got chopped.”

The cover of the album was a photograph created by Andres Serrano that combines bovine blood and his own semen in between two sheets of plexiglass called Semen and blood III. The album does not specifically name the photograph, but instead only refers to the photographer's name. James Hetfield hated the use of this picture as the cover. He would say, “Lars and Kirk were very into abstract art, pretending they were gay. I think they knew it bugged me. It was a statement around all that. I love art, but not for the sake of shocking others. I think the cover of Load was just a piss-take around all that. I just went along with the make-up and all of this crazy, stupid crap that they felt they needed to do.” The album also saw Metallica remake its logo, an alternative symbol the ninja star, cut their long hair short, dress in designer clothes, and wear eyeliner. Once again, Hetfield absolutely despised these changes to their brand and image. “Lars and Kirk drove on those records. The whole 'We need to reinvent ourselves' topic was up. Image is not an evil thing for me, but if the image is not you, then it doesn't make much sense. I think they were really after a U2 kind of vibe, Bono doing his alter ego. I couldn't get into it. The whole, 'Okay, now in this photoshoot we're going to be '70s glam rockers.' Like, what? I would say half – at least half – the pictures that were to be in the booklet, I yanked out. The whole cover thing, it went against what I was feeling.” The backlash from their fans was significant as they felt completely betrayed by the band's new image. Years would pass before they would gain the trust of the diehard fans once again.

Load would represent a commercial success for the band as it stayed number one on the Billboard 200 chart for four weeks. And in its first week, the band moved 680,000 copies, making for the most successful week in the band's history. The record would go on to be certified as five times platinum selling 5 million copies. The critics were mixed on the album noting the change to hard rock. Rolling Stone liked the record. "The foursome dams the bombast and chugs half-speed ahead, settling into a wholly magnetizing groove that bridges old-school biker rock and the doomier side of post-grunge '90s rock.” Melody Maker was not as enthusiastic about the record saying that there were moments on the album where you needed to ask the question, has Metallica gone soft? AllMusic found the record to be boring, the same song over and over, and poorly played. Lars Ulrich would say this about the mixed reviews towards the album. "With Load, it was disappointing that some people's reaction to the music was biased by how they dealt with the pictures – the hair and all that crap. People have come up to me years afterwards and said, 'I never gave the record a fair chance because I couldn't get beyond Jason Newsted wearing eyeliner.' But 'The Outlaw Torn', some of that shit is pretty fucking awesome."

The follow up album Reload would be released in November 1997 with similar commercial success as it debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart selling 436,000 copies in its first week. This would be the last album that Jason Newsted would play on with the band. As noted previously, the original intention was to release the songs as a double album, but then it was decided that doing so many songs might have issues. Kirk Hammett would say this about the recording sessions with producer Bob Rock. “We were gonna do them both as a double album, but we didn't want to spend that long in the studio. Also, if we did a double album, it would have been a lot more material for people to digest, and some of it might have gotten lost in the shuffle." Reload became the first album that the band featured another singer as Marianne Faithfull lended her vocals to “The Memory Remains.” Once again, the band used a photograph from Andres Serrano mixing bovine blood and his semen. Critics for the most part liked the album, but they did note that the music seemed to be heavily influenced by southern rock. One of the big takeaways for some critics was the fact that Reload felt like the leftovers from the Load sessions. This also showed in the fact that the record was only certified platinum three times.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2001

Another list which was a bit difficult to make.  Almost none of this comes from the US charts. I was 13, I had a much better control of what I could listen to, and adolescence crisis was juuuuuuust around the corner and about to smash into me with the force of a semitruck.

For now, though, things were mostly fine.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

First, please enjoy this shit ton of honorable mentions.

Family Affair (Mary J. Blige) - A bit too repetitive for my taste but damn, that beat is great.

Starlight (The Supermen Lovers) - Overplayed to death, sadly.

A ma Place (Axel Bauer & Zazie) - Too much Hetero Drama(tm) for my taste. Still a great song.

Les Mots (Mylène Farmer & Seal) - An artist I love teams up with another artist I really like and... aaaaand it’s fairly boring even if it sounds really nice. Aw.

Me Gustas Tu (Manu Chao) - My dad had one (1) tape that summer and it was Manu Chao. Needless to say, I claim overplay for that cut.

The Girl in Red (Daddy DJ) - Yepppp, I also loved that one, no surprises there.

It Wasn’t Me (Shaggy) - To be honest this song would already be pretty great if it was just a guy trying to pretend it wasn’t him cheating even if his girlfriend got everything on camera, but it’s made even better by the ending where he’s like ‘uh no that’s not a good idea I’m just gonna apologise and try to make things right’. Love that.

Carillon (Magic Box) - This was the last cut from the list. The fact that this kind of novelty eurodance track could still chart this high in 2001 is absolutely baffling to me, but I’m not gonna complain. I had completely forgotten the existence of this song until I listened to the year-end lists and had some sort of flashback, sitting in my chair, going “oh shit, yeah... this was a thing.”

10 - Music is the One-T ODC (One-T)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

Time seems to have buried this, which is a shame. I really liked One-T. I don’t have much more to say about it though, I’m afraid.

9 - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Daft Punk)

US: Not on the list / FR: #75

Aaaaaaand I don’t have anything to say about this one either. You can’t go wrong with Daft Punk.

8 - No Nagging (Froggy Mix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #31

I simply adore the fact that an anime opening was popular to the point of ACTUALLY CHARTING AND MAKING THE YEAR END LIST HERE. It’s not even the same opening in most other countries. I just checked to make sure. It’s not even the original either! What the hell. I love it. Here’s the full version.

Also, the first cd I ever bought might have been Daddy DJ, but the first one my little brother ever bought was Froggy Mix. If you ever read this, you’re 100% valid bro. I’m just saying.

7 - Rue de la Paix (Zazie)

US: Not on the list / FR: #58

This was very overplayed but somehow never outstayed its welcome. I put it on a couple of tapes, even. I’ve always had trouble with Zazie’s upper range, but she isn’t using it too much here.

6 - Clint Eastwood (Gorillaz)

US: Not on the list?? I was dead certain it would be / FR: #47

I never loved Gorillaz. You can throw rocks at me now. I enjoyed the music videos a LOT, and I always liked hearing the songs on the radio, but I never actively listened to them. Also, the Metallica fan I live with is also a fan of Gorillaz, so yeah, over-exposure and all that.

That being said, I remember seeing this music video for the first time with the sound off on a screen in a tv store and being completely mesmerized by the animation. And then that song became a huge hit, and it was one of THE sounds of that summer despite being weird and dark, and I loved it. Good memories, good times ; godspeed, Gorillaz.

5 - Butterfly (Crazy Town)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

This is, indeed, placed above Gorillaz. Too bad you’re out of rocks to throw at my face by now, uh?

But yeah, there’s “so bad it’s good” and then there’s “so bad it’s f█cking fantastic” and that shit lands squarely in that second category. It’s impossible to keep a straight face while listening to it, especially if you sing along to the “sugar baby” bit. And the music video is... sdfghjkjhgfd. The bit where the star tattoos fly off that guy like shurikens is hilarious. It’s so dumb. It’s so bad. I love it so much. I’m so glad I found a gif of that part. Amazing.

4 - Hasta La Vista (MC Solaar)

US: Not on the list / FR: #8

MC Solaar was (and still is, but this was his peak imho) the best storyteller in French hip hop, with strange concept-songs, and a ton of weird puns.

This is basically a mashup of Notre Dame de Paris and a western, in which the singer is starring in the main role but as a pizza delivery man.

Not making this up.

3 - Le Vent Nous Portera (Noir Désir)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

I really, really hesitated before putting that song on the list, especially at such a high spot. I guess every French speaker reading this already knows why, but to clarify to my other followers: the guy who wrote this and sings this is a murderer. He wasn’t at the time this song came out, obviously, but still, it’s really, really difficult to separate the art from the artist in some cases, and this is one of them, because oh boy, this song is dark. Beautiful, but dark.

The problem is, it’s also great, so I’m really torn. So I decided to still put it on the list, considering how much I loved it back in the day. I think it’s still possible to appreciate beautiful things made by horrible people as long as you acknowledge that fact and never, ever try to excuse the things they did.

Also that lovely guitar is played by Manu Chao and I’m glad he found a way to land on my list in the end.

2 - L’Histoire d’une Fée, C’est (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #92

Madam, I don’t even care that I put you so high on one of my lists again. It doesn’t matter. Please sing a harmless song about fairies to wash the bad taste that the previous entry left in my mouth. This sounds absolutely stellar. It doesn’t even have a music video and it charted anyway. The guy composing the music is at the top of his game and is firing on all cylinders. It’s one of my all time favorite songs from Mylène Farmer even if it’s one of the stupidest ones. It’s colorful and it glows and sparkles, and it’s full of energy and joy with an undercurrent of mystery.

If you don’t know it yet, please give it a try. It’s great.

1 - Solaar Pleure (MC Solaar)

US: Not on the list / FR: #20

Oh boy. My mother hated this song, and once told me it was “shocking and disturbing” [sic] that I loved it.

So. Uh. This is “Solaar Is Crying”. How do I explain this shit to my English followers without sounding like a drunk weirdo rambling in a park. Uh. Here goes nothing.

This is a French hip hop song in which the singer is telling the story of a man preparing his own funeral, dying, arriving in the afterlife, ending up in paradise, forgiving the people who wronged him in life and death, becoming an exterminator angel, going to hell on a MISSION TO FIGHT EVIL, LITERALLY SPITTING ON BELZEBUTH, GATHERING HELP FROM EVERY RELIGION POSSIBLE, UNITING THEM ALL TO DESTROY SATAN ONCE AND FOR ALL, EXPLODING HIM INTO ANTIMATTER, THEN REALISING ALL OF THIS WAS IN VAIN BECAUSE THERE’S STILL BAD PEOPLE DOING BAD THINGS ON EARTH AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF WASN’T THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL IN THE WORLD.

I swear I am not making ANY of this up.

It’s f█cking amazing.

I BEG you to listen to it if you’ve never heard it and PLEASE tell me your opinion afterwards. I would make a best-of of my favorite lines in it, but it would be 90% of the entire song. Here’s a translation of the entire thing.

Next up: Johannes turns 14 and the shit is about to hit the fan and also is that a f█cking top 15

[eng-hypnosismic]

Animage 483: Interview w/ Matenrou

This article comes from the Animage Magazine vol. 483, please buy the magazine to support them and get the exclusive images!

(You can read part 2 about Doppo and his VA Itou Kento here. )

The Bonds of the City that Never Sleeps

The second part of the Territory Battle has begun. With their strong lyrics that bewitch one's heart, will the bonds of Matenrou be able to pierce through their fated rivals? Shinjuku Division -- the city under shimmering neon lights that never sleeps. Here resides a doctor of great prestige who goes by the name of Jinguji Jakurai, a former member of the legendary team The Dirty Dawg. Every day, patients bearing both wounds of the body and heart seek his aid. One of these patients was Kannonzaka Doppo who is suffering from social anxiety. In order to save Izanami Hifumi, his childhood friend whose life was being threatened, Doppo sought help from Jakurai. That is how the three of them met. Taking an interest in Doppo and Hifumi, Jakurai invited them both to his team. After forming Matenrou, Doppo and Hifumi remained being as awkward and eccentric as ever, but now as a team they become each other’s most important and reliable comrade, shouldering the future of  Shinjuku Division together. And now, the day on which Chuuoku organized a territory battle for Matenrou has arrived. Their opponents, Shibuya Division’s Fling Posse, are led by Amemura Ramuda who has a deep and convoluted antagonism between himself and Jakurai. Once again, without Jakurai being aware of it, Ramuda is involved with someone from Chuuoku, the governmental district that dominates all men. Jakurai can’t be too careful around him. The victor of this battle will soon be decided. With Matenrou’s scalpel-sharp lyrics that can be used as both poison and medication at will, can they pierce the heart of the trickster leader of Fling Posse? And what does Jakurai think of his fated rival...

Jinguji Jakurai

A renowned medical genius. He has top-class rap skills and a gentleness that shows no bias towards anyone. If there is any flaw to his otherwise perfect self, it is his transformation into a true Tokyoite through the consumption of alcohol. He considers Hifumi and Doppo as precious friends whom he cannot leave alone. Contact Jakurai maintains solid communication with his companions. He listens patiently to Doppo’s troubles, and when their days off overlap, drives them all out to go fishing.  Since Doppo has been sleeping in on his days off he missed the invitation and has yet to join them. A Man of Character He gently reprimands people without seeking repentance and steers clear of alcohol (partly because he loses memory after drinking) -- someone who can be compared to a Buddha. With such a personality, the only person Jakurai couldn’t stand is Ramuda. What on earth is going on between these two…?

Izanami Hifumi

Sociable, bubbly, and also an extreme gynophobe. Became a host to overcome his fear of women. However, his character only changes when he puts on his suit. While he becomes a suave, composed gigolo in the face of women, it does not actually tackle the root of the problem.

Host Mode

While spending a night at town in Chuuoku, Hifumi wore his suit to calm down after feeling unsettled by Jakurai’s warning of the battles’ popularity with women. Activating his Host Mode, he seized the opportunity to roam the streets. The shift from his extreme gynophobia to extreme gynephilia doesn’t seem to be conscious.

Domestic Skill

Hifumi is surprisingly adept at household chores. He is roommates with Doppo and cooks breakfast for the both of them. When Doppo’s suits gets torn, he mends them. It is probably only thanks to Hifumi that Doppo who lives an unhealthy lifestyle is still alive.

Kannonzaka Doppo

An office worker so thoroughly exhausted that he cannot recover even if he sleeps through his days off. He depends on his roommate, Hifumi, to take care of the domestic chores. Has a negative disposition. Because he apologizes so frequently at work, “I’m sorry” has become his pet phrase.

Spectacle This territory battle exists as a spectacle for the women watching. The men who participate in the battles are treated as idols, thus strolling about without a care will get them overrun by a flock of female fans. Whether it is a good or bad thing depends on the person himself. Hifumi in his host mode was overjoyed to be surrounded by women while Doppo was screaming and running away. Camaraderie That night in Chuuoku, Hifumi and Doppo ran into Gentaro and Dice. It started off with Hifumi poking fun at Gentaro’s choice in clothing but ended up with Dice and Doppo arguing,   instigating a Mic Battle. Rather than taking offense at the insults directed at themselves, Hifumi and Doppo, as well as Gentaro and Dice, were more defensive against the insults directed at their trusted companions. Unfortunately, their battle was interrupted as it attracted more attention from women, but they still managed to strengthen their bonds within their teams.

Fate

The clash between Fling Posse and Matenrou doubles as a showdown between their leaders. Beyond warning his teammates of Ramuda’s “inhumanity,” Jakurai says nothing about their connection. In Ramuda’s case, he seems to avoid speaking about Jakurai altogether towards his own teammates. However, regardless of their mutual animosity, Jakurai still tirelessly admonishes Ramuda...

Enigmatic Men    Jinguji Jakurai’s VA Hayami Show

“Doctor that can’t be swayed by money and patient that can’t be left alone”

--What kind of a person is Jinguji Jakurai?

Hayami:  Although there is still a lot unknown about him, he is a humane doctor who cannot be bought, who is incredibly gentle, and who brims with humanism. In a place like Shinjuku Division, there ought to be all kinds of patients visiting Jakurai. Amongst those patients, there are people who can’t afford the expensive medical fees, and people with questionable backgrounds… Yet the person who’d treat them all properly and equally is none other than Jakurai. You’d think that doctors are all rich people, but since he puts healing people before money, maybe he doesn’t earn that much (laughs). I think that the car he owns is certainly not an expensive one. Even though Jakurai seems to be so benevolent and perfect, in the drama part of our first CD “Matenrou -Clinical Phonetics-” we saw how much of a big mess he caused when he was drunk. With a side like that, I feel that he’s quite well-rounded as a human being.

--So for Izanami Hifumi and Kannonzaka Doppo, what do you think about them? Hayami: To Jakurai, they’re like his two cute little brothers. Of course as part of Matenrou, they rap in order to join battles, but the two must have wished to move towards a more decent life through rap. Jakurai has a lot of patients, but they’re the number one and two patients that he just can’t leave alone. I also feel developments in Hifumi and Doppo’s characters after they got the hypnosis mics. When you look at each of them individually, you can find quite a few shortcomings, but when they’re rapping together, they offset each others’ limitations and bring each other up.   --In this Battle CD, it felt like there’s even more to Jakurai and Amemura Ramuda's past. Hayami: Details of the past between the two are not fully disclosed. The two were very mysterious to begin with. Actually, I don’t know the whole backstory either and it could be easier to act not knowing things. Ramuda is a strange kid. Even when I was recording I was annoyed; not by Shirai Yusuke who voiced him, but by Ramuda himself (laughs). The way he talks is so insensitive that it’s almost unbearable. Furthermore, Ramuda is 24 years old. Never in my life have I seen a 24-years-old who says things like “It’s ◯◯☆” or  “Oneesan♪.” However, someone like Ramuda is very popular amongst women… It gets on my nerves (laughs). --There’s also bad blood between Yamada Ichiro and Aohitsugi Samatoki. Does Jakurai know what happened between them? Hayami: Of course he knows, I think Jakurai watched it happened. However, it’s only with Ramuda that he couldn’t just watch. In the drama part of the Battle CD, it was revealed that Ramuda is connected to people from Chuuouku. Jakurai might not know about that specifically, but I don’t think he would tolerate such duplicity of Ramuda. Hifumi’s host mode while he’s in his suit is a different story, of course. Jakurai can and would accept any kind of people, but perhaps it’s just difficult for him to agree with Ramuda’s way of doing things. --Will the mystery of their previous relationship ever be unveiled? Hayami: I think it will, little by little. I feel that the story of “Hypnosis Mic” is full of mysteries, and these complicated relationships and mysteries are unraveled in rap. Therefore, as the story unfolds, rap is still going to play an important role.  

--You never had any experience with rap before this, right? Hayami: You’re right. That’s why, when they offered, I joined the project only after making sure they know that I know nothing about rap… Actually, the lyrics of Jakurai’s song didn’t completely match his personality in the story. But as the story develops and he gets more raps, the lyrics and his personality fit together better. Incidentally, Jakurai’s solo song “Labyrinth Wall” is tailored for my voice. Therefore I thought that if I work hard on my skills, poetry rapping, and rapping as Jakurai, I will get there someday. However, when I first heard  the demo of “Labyrinth Wall,” I didn’t know what poetry rap was or that it even existed and how it had classical music as its track. I was so appalled I asked my manager, “What the hell is this?” (laughs)

--The first live of “Hypnosis Mic” is coming up on August 26th, right? Hayami: At this stage, the set list has not been finalized yet and I’m a bit worried about whether I can remember all the lyrics by then. By the way, the junior from my agency, Nozuyama (Yukihiro) who voices Arisugawa Dice, has already memorized everything perfectly. If we’re doing all songs including the solos at the live… that’s exactly what “Don’t Make Me Laugh” is about, I just gotta make it work no matter what.

“Let the lyrics created by these men be your heart’s oasis”

--The deadline of the Battle CDs’ voting is coming up. Hayami: It seems that everyone gave us so much support, I’m glad. However, please do it without affecting your daily lifestyle. That being said, I also hate to lose. It’d be nice if each one of you could take one small action to bring Matenrou towards victory. --What kind of actions for example? Hayami: Try something like sneakily placing the CDs and merchandise around someone you’d like to get into Hypnomic… (laughs). If anyone can recommend it to others like, “it’s good, try listening to it” that’d be nice too, but maybe try making people who are already interested in Matenrou love Matenrou. For me, I stealthily follow pedestrians in Shinjuku, whisper Jakurai’s lines behind them, and just brainwash them casually. --What kind of team would you like Matenrou to become in the future? Hayami: Matenrou is a group made up of the most mature people amongst the four divisions. Even though they’re weird, I want them to become a team that is able to give dreams, hope and love to others as grownups. I think Shinjuku, the model of Shinjuku Division, is very charming. It’s a place that has the entertainment district Kabukicho, Shinjuku Gyo-en Park that’s close by, and many corporate buildings. The rap which was born in such a chaotic place will probably be forever bizzare and scandalous.   From now on, if possible, I hope our rap and the other divisions’ raps can be the oasis for the hearts of our listeners where they can be healed. Actually, the casts of Matenrou haven’t had the chance to meet up and do something together yet, so I hope we will do more of that in the future. Then as we get closer to each other, I hope we can deliver better contents with profundity in our drama parts.

[romchomp]

That One Track from your favorite romance anime

So, I’m a whore for soundtracks. The amount of hours I’ve spent listening to various soundtracks is in the hundreds. Something I’ve noticed in discussions about good anime soundtracks is that romances are often left out, with the exception of Clannad and Your Lie in April. So here I am, ready to take the task nobody requested.

Before I start listing animes and their soundtracks I’d  like to first say that the thing about scores in anime, movies, video games, and even tv shows is that they usually have one track that’s easy to identify (ie. a theme song, a track that plays during a progression/training scene or a track that plays during the climax, etc.). Depending on the tone and atmosphere of the series, this track could be sad, fun, a mesh of the two, or something beyond those lines. Regardless it should affect how you feel and be memorable. So in this post, I’m talking about different romance anime and what I think is** that one track** from them.

**Because I’ve had troubles embedding the tracks into this post I’ll just leave a link to a playlist I made with all the tracks used on soundcloud and youtube**

1. Toradora- Lost My Pieces

There are a lot of tracks from Toradora that I adore, including Yuugure No Yakusoku and Ameiro Rondo. What makes Lost My Pieces work out, however, is the fact that it plays at the climax of the series and stands for a mental shift in the main character as well as a tonal shift in the series. What else is interesting is that this is the only time the track is ever played in Toradora. It really shows how effective it was, considering the track's popularity. When most people think of Toradora’s soundtrack they’ll think of Lost My Pieces. This is certainly** that one track** that will make you...feel things.

2. Clannad- Roaring Tides

This one is probably more arguable considering how many tracks in Clannad are severe tear jerkers. Personally, Roaring Tides has always been that one track in Clannad that would without a doubt fuck me up. There’s just something about that piano...and the...everything. It’s a very dramatic piece and man is it good at heightening the drama in Clannad. Of course, Nagisa and SnowFeild are very close seconds and I can’t forget to mention Town, Flow of Time, People; or Existence; or the goddamn ending Dango Daikazoku (why does this show hate us).

3. Fruits Basket (2001)- Secret

Fruits Basket has a generally wacky soundtrack that covers a variety of tones. However, if there is one track that could be associated with the darker moments in the anime, one that always played when one of the characters talked in depth about the zodiac curse, it’s Secret. This track is a little different from the ones in Toradora and Clannad though. This one’s purpose isn’t to make the viewer cry. I think the track only has that effect from a nostalgic standpoint; listening to the track on its own after the fact adds quite a bit of feeling to this one. Secret is more or less, meant to set the atmosphere. That, put together with how often the track was used, makes it one of the more memorable ones. I can't wait to add the reboot to this list.

4. Nana- Akai Ren

Nana’s soundtrack doesn’t get talked about that often even among its fans. I’m not talking about the vocal pieces that were played by Black Stones or Trapnest, but the background osts. The reason for this probably has to do with 1) the songs sung by Black Stones and Trapnest are on a separate CD than the background tracks and 2) there are a whopping 43 tracks on the CD of background tracks. Regardless, there are a number of tracks that stuck with me even after finishing the show and the best example of this would be Akai Ren, which made me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME it played. That piano still haunts me. What also haunts is the second ending, Starless Night. That one’s a close second.

5. Anohana- Secret Base

I’ve been avoiding using the openings and endings on this list, but I’ll make an exception for Secret Base considering it plays like a track in the background for emotional scenes on several occasions. I was considering using Last Train Home instead, but that track just...doesn’t hit the same way and isn't utilized nearly as often as Anohana's ed. Secret Base also has the advantage of not being played in its entirety until the most climatic and emotional part in the series (as if just a few seconds of the song wasn’t already enough).

6.  Your Lie in April- My Friend A Will Be My Accompanist

We all know the soundtrack for Your Lie in April is amazing. Whether it be the classical pieces performed by characters or the rest of the soundtrack that’s left for the background, but I think My Friend A is a particular track that’s memorable and easy to listen to on its own. It plays often throughout the show and because of that, I think it’s the most identifiable piece in the series. My Friend A is beautiful. It doesn’t even need the context of the show to make it an emotional listening experience. If anything this gives context to the show.

7. My Little Monster- Tetsukazu no Kanjou

Not as much of a tear jerker as it is just an adorable track that I often come back to. Maybe it’s a more of a track that elicits happy tears? My Little Monster’s soundtrack reminds me of Toradora’s in the sense that they both have fun scores that feature mostly quirky tracks with a few emotional ones sprinkled in. For this series,  it’s emotional one is Tetsukazu no Kanjou, which the show utilizes quite well. It often plays when the audience discovers something new about a character or see an emotional shift in them.

8. Snow White with the Red Hair- Reconciliation: The Beginning of Two People

The best word to describe Shirayuki’s soundtrack would be magical; it's a true fantasy romance score. I was hesitant to mention this soundtrack at all because at first I felt that while Reconciliation is a gorgeous piece, it’s not overwhelmingly emotional, but I’m listening to it right now and have realized that uhhh it’s very emotional and I don’t know what I was thinking. And looking back, this track in specific added a lot to scenes and did, in fact, bring up several emotions. While (maybe) not tear-jerking, the track would definitely have you gushing at how sweet and precious the main couple is.

9. Bloom Into You- Earnest Wish

You know, you hear a lot of piano in romance series. A lot of violin. A lot of flute. But  clarinet? That's not as common.  This track really makes you wish there was more luckily, a lot of the other pieces on Bloom Into You's soundtrack also have clarinet in them. Anyways, any moment Earnest Wish started playing...I knew shit was about to go down. There was usually some dramatic wind (oftentimes blowing Touka’s hair) when it started playing. Something new would be revealed about the character's backstory or their insecurities. Good piece. Very good piece.

10. Kanon- Winter Fireworks

Kanon has the misfortune of forever being compared to Clannad and living in its shadow. Something I think, however, that doesn’t deserve to be compared to Clannad would be Kanon’s soundtrack. Its score is unique and successfully conveys a winter essence. Winter Fireworks is the best example, but there are so many other amazing tracks. I just [making aggressive hand gestures] really love it.

11. Your Name- Sparkle

Your Name is really good at using its score to accelerate emotional scenes and generally flow with the mood of the film. Its best example of this would be Sparkle, which plays at the climax and man does it work. The pace of the track has the perfect amount of energy to go along with a beautiful running sequence that was emotional as all hell.

So far I have only talked about tear-jerker tracks, but romances are also completely capable of having a track memorable by how warm and happy it is.

12. Toradora (again)- Startup

Startup is probably the easiest to remember/call out but I think Happy Monday is a really close second that no one talks about. Startup is used similarly to Lost My Pieces, though more often. Where Lost My Pieces plays at an emotional climax, representing a progression in the characters, Startup always plays when one of the main characters is making a stride to better themselves or their situation (hence, progressing the story). It’s a great track and does its job well.

13. Kaichou wa Maid Sama- Main Theme

Man, I could dance to this track. I remember always feeling giddy when this track started playing. You knew things were about to get exciting. It’s the perfect amount of fun and cheesy for a hilarious and sweet shoujo such as Maid Sama.

14. Princess Jellyfish- Umi to Tsuki no Yume

While it’s hard to stream the entirety of Princess Jellyfish’s soundtrack for free, there are a few tracks that are easily accessible on youtube. Umi to Tsuki no Yume is one of them and lucky for me, it’s one of my favorite tracks as well as one that seemed to stick out to others as well. It’s very befitting of the show’s flamboyant yet down to earth atmosphere.

15. His and Her Circumstances- Peace Reigns in the Land

I love every track from Kare Kano but this one especially left a mark on me. There’s plenty of lovely piano pieces that you could you point to as that one track but I personally find the tracks with trumpet solos and soft drums to be the charming point in its score. Peace Reigns in the Land normally plays sometime during the beginning of episodes and really leaves you feeling like everything is gonna be okay. As for accessibility to the soundtrack, there are a few tracks you can find on Youtube and I managed to find the entirety of the soundtrack here on Soundcloud uploaded only five days ago (so who knows how long it'll be up).

16. Nisekoi- Meirou

Nisekoi’s production value was always too good for its own good and its soundtrack is no exception. I was torn between a number of tracks from Nisekoi to mention. Should I go with the sweet and warm Lost of Words that reminds me of summer? Or the fun and goofy Meirou I can still remember playing at the end of each episode years after watching? Or what if I go with the more bleak Nikuhaku to represent that one track that stuck out in the series? Well. It’s Meirou. Hate to be anticlimactic, but Meirou captures the tone and atmosphere of the series better than any other track in the series. It's sweet but in a ridiculous kind of way.

17. Honey and Clover- Be Careful of Being Tricked!

I absolutely adore Honey and Clover’s soundtrack. It has an interesting range of instruments that gives it a unique charm. Be Careful of Being Tricked is no exception with its use of bongos, the organ, and acoustic guitar along with humming... It’s a good time. Bon Bon Bereppa was another track I thought of using for this list. Both tracks scream "How did I get myself in this situation?". It was really hard to pick one over the other, to be honest. It came down to the organ.

18. Lovely Complex- Orchestra Na Risa

Generally, the score of Lovely Complex is goofy and a riot to listen to on its own. Orchestra Na Risa is one of the slower pieces, and a touching one at that. Somehow it manages to feel sweet and whimsical while still fitting in with all the other ridiculous tracks and antics in the show itself.

Honorable mentions??

Doukyuusei (the whole thing tbh)

From Up on Poppy Hill- Kokurikozaka kara (theme song)

Air TV- Natsukage

Yosuga no Sora- Kioku

Now there are plenty of romance anime I have yet to watch and I hope many of them will make me think to myself "Wow, this would've made a great addition to that blog post I made about romance anime with good soundtracks". There are certain anime I’m even prepared for. But for now, I’m just writing about what I already know [it’s not a lot].

Here is a playlist of the all the tracks I listed in this blog post and here's a playlist I made of all my favorite romance anime tracks that you can check out if you feel inclined.

[tanz-der-vampire-musical]

Personal concert review - Musical T’s - 29.9.2018 in Berlin

(gotta call them this because there is a thing called copy****t)

Please don’t share the audio outside Tumblr, not even the link. Thank you!

As I promised I wrote a review about Musical T's concert on 29th September 2018 in Berlin, Admiralspalast

The videos of the encore, you can find in this post!

Last time I decided to write the rest in German, but I try it in English to make everyone understand what a wonderful experience it has been.

The musical t's is a quartet, that includes 4 of the most well-known and popular musical actors in Germany who all happen to be tenors. Two of them are very well known by “Tanz der Vampire” fans. Mark Seibert and Jan Ammann, both portrayed the role Krolock in the past. The other two are Christian Alexander Müller, who played in the Phantom of the Opera musical 10 years ago and gained popularity by it, since then he was mostly in low-budget productions and off-musicals and Patrick Stanke , famous for potraying big lead roles in “3 musketeers” , “AIDA”, created the role Graf Axel von Fersen in the musical “Marie Antoinette” by Kunze/Levay and is known for his self-made shows “Stanke ohne Strom”. This is a quartet that fits to each other so well. You would never guess that in the first place, because they are all solo artists, but together they are in harmony.

I know now why I wanted this concert to happen so badly for 7 years. Yes 7 years ago I went to the same concert format and they never did it again in the past years. There was this CD back from 2011. (So if you don’t know it, listen to it, it is worth it.)The funny thing about this concert was, that even if it was 7 years later, I was immediately thrown back in time to 2011. Because many songs were just the same like back then, also added by some new songs from the musicals and concerts they did in between, but mostly same setlist as before. Also one little detail was different they all aged well and got even better in the years in between, but some of them just got a little, how should I say that, out of their old shape (you know what I mean, do you?)

The audio is the song: “Die unstillbare Gier” sung by two past Krolocks Jan Ammann and Mark Seibert

It is not an exaggeration to say, that this was probably the fan highlight both for me personally and also for the audience.

The whole audience was already very hyped by every song and I think I never saw so many standing ovations in a concert, where people sit. Usually standing ovations is to be seen after the last performance, but here we just had a contest for “who would jump first out of their seats”. And of course in a concert like this, there are mostly ladies, so screaming was foreseen. The audience was electrified and you could see that Jan and Mark were just overwhelmed after the standing ovation they received. I’ve never been to a concert like this with such a “wow” factor in so many areas.

Setlist and more detailed review under the cut!

Photos from here

To write about each and every song would be a bit too much, but I tell you a bit about my personal highlights and the TdV part.

Act 1

When the first notes were there I already knew it would be a great concert. In the Admiralspalast Studio there is a good quality about the sound. The band is never too loud and also each actor knows how to regulate his tone to make the right person stand out.

The “3 musketeers” medley is a greatly crafted piece, starting with original D’Artagnan of the original German production Patrick Stanke with “Heut ist der Tag” (Today is the day), joined by the whole quartet. It features one of my alltime favorit songs “Engel aus Kristall” (Angel of crystal) then went slowly to have “Wo ist der Sommer?” (Where is the summer?) and “Wer kann schon ohne Liebe sein?” (Who can live without love?) and then to gain momentum with „Heut ist der Tag“ to finish. You could see how much fun they had with this piece. Also amazing how songs originally sung by women in the musical also fits this quartet.

My personal highlight was Mark Seibert’s “Ein Traum ohne Anfang und Ende” (A dream without beginning and end) from the musical “Die Päpstin”. I heard him sing this piece in Hamburg in May and he is such a fit for the role with his warm voice.

Of course one song that gets the crowd going immediately with the first notes is “Die Schatten werden länger” (The shadows grow taller) from “Elisabeth”. Elisabeth is very popular among German speaking musical fans and Mark Seibert played “Der Tod” many years and so it was no wonder that song belonged to him. His duet partner was Patrick Stanke.  These two together singing the song just blow me away. You hear them fight for their lives in the song, this is what the song is about. You don’t need the costumes and the stage setting you just need their voices.

The other highlight that was amazing on so many different levels was Patrick Stanke’s “Du bist das Licht” (You are the light) what was written for him and also has a very personal meaning to him. He played the piano himself (I did not know he could play piano) and sung the song with such an ease to it that makes you feel that he loved the song. The tears just came because it was so beautiful.

I love “Phantom of the Opera” and “The music of the night” is a song that gives me goosebumps if sung like Christian Alexander Müller sings it. He sung this solo in 2011 too, but omg he got so much better. In 2011 I thought, that this is the best version I ever heard and even after seeing the musical in Hamburg after this I still have found no match, but this in 2018 just blew me away. The interpretation of the lyrics in every note and the nuances of the Phantom were so well played in the song. (I think I will share that audio with you later, because it was just this phenomenal.)

Also that little duet before with Jan Ammann from “Love never dies” “Til I hear you sing” was brilliantly sung, but I think some songs are meant to be sung alone.

 Act 2

“Who wants to live forever/The show must go on” is a showstopper at its best. It has everything you want in a quartet in this arrangement. I am not sure I will ever be able to tell how amazing that mashup is.

“Never enough” from “The greatest showman” is a song that I am torn about, because it is a good piece of music, but lacks a bit “wow” factor for me. Also that repeatedly “never, never” is a bit annoying, BUT Christian Alexander Müller sang that. And that’s a challenge for a man, that he mastered brilliantly. I will never be a big fan of this song, but what he did with it was really difficult and deserves an extra appreciation.

Patrick Stanke excels in Kunze/Levay’s “Wie wird man seinen Schatten los” (How do you get rid of your shadow)  from “Mozart”. This song just leaves so much room for showing off your vocal skills. It just leaves you speechless about what a great singer he is.

“Tanz der Vampire” could not have been left out at all with two Krlocks in the house. So sung with special guest Stefanie Schüper (Is this her name? I don’t know it…I am still so sorry) was “Totale Finsternis” and as my friend who went with me there just told me “Yeah well everyone is great, but Jan Ammann just stands out for fitting the role” and I cannot say it any better. The quartet plus special guest was nice and you will probably never hear such a diverse “Totale Finsternis” but some just fit the song like it is written for them, others just don’t have the feeling to it. And Mark Seibert is my favorit musical actor but I think “Tanz der Vampire” does not suit him as well as other roles. (He was still great when I watched him last year in TdV but I prefer Jan Ammann in this)

After this bombastic sound in Totale Finsternis, the duet “Die unstillbare Gier” just topped everything before. I don’t know if it was because of the hyped audience or anything else, but it was special. Mark and Jan both sung the parts alternately and in the end joined in two voiced. You can listen to it in the beginning of this post.

With this highlight it could have been the end of the show, but it was not. It followed two wonderful slow pieces of music.

Mark Seibert’s “Letzter Vorhang” (Last curtain call) from “Schikaneder” where Mark told a little anecdote beforehand. Mark  told us that when he worked with Stephen Schwartz that he thought the song would end in a bombastic sound like many ballads in musicals do, but Stephen Schwartz just told him “No it is not like this, it is just a little song, not one where you show off” . I appreciate that Mark chose this song, because he could have shown-off his vocal skills but he did not and this little song is a beautiful piece of music with very beautiful meaningful lyrics. So it felt just like everyone calmed down and did not really know how to react. Of course people applauded loudly but much calmer.

The other slow song is also one of my personal alltime favorit songs that make me cry “Bring him home” from Les Mis. This was a beautiful duet with Christian A. Müller and Patrick Stanke. Even writing about it, gets me emotional….

The finish was “Vivo per lei” that is just an appreciation song to music and a wonderful song to finish, just that this was not the end at all.

There came the ABBA Medley that got the crowd going and screaming and hyped the audience again (almost everyone took out their phone and filmed) and they ended it with “Look with your heart” from “Love never dies” . They ended the same way they did in 2011. And the clever part of this song is that they slowly walk off the stage and don’t come back so the audience cannot scream for more. Very clever, because we could have stayed there all night.

Thank you for reading!  I hope you enjoyed the read. Let me know if I should share a bit more audio files of the show, I would do it.

SETLIST: 

(Note: CA Müller is Christian Alexander Müller)

AKT 1

01.  Tenors – Limelight  Moderation A Alle

02.  Tenors - Drei Musketiere Medley

03.  Jan Ammann – Leuchtturm

04.  Tenors – Auf der Strasse, mein Schatz wo Du lebst

05.  Tenors - The Impossible Dream / Man Of La Mancha

06.  Mark Seibert - Ein Traum ohne Anfang und Ende

07.  Tenors – More Than Words

08.  Seibert & Stanke – Die Schatten werden länger

09.  Patrick Stanke – Du bist das Licht

10.  Tenors – Memory

11.  Müller & Ammann – Till I Hear You Sing

12.  CA Müller – Die Musik der Nacht

13.  Tenors – This Is The Moment

14. Tenors feat. Female Guest – I Believe in You

AKT 2

01.  Tenors – Who wants to live forever / Show must go on

02.  CA Müller – Never enough

03.  Tenors – Closer To Heaven

04.   Jan Ammann – Kalte Sterne

05.  Female Guest – divers, je nach Konzerttermin

06.  Patrick Stanke – Wie wird man seinen Schatten los…

07.  Tenors - Am Ende bleiben Tränen (Tu Cosa Fai Stasera)

08. Tenors feat. Female Guest – Totale Finsternis

09.  Mark Seibert & Jan Ammann – Die Unstillbare Gier

10.  Mark Seibert – Der letzte Vorhang

11.  CA Müller & Patrick Stanke – Bring ihn heim

12.  Tenors – Vivo per lei

Encore

01.  Tenors – ABBA - Medley

02.  Tenors –Look With your Heart

Setlist from here

[vnshkk]

SUKEKIYO [2017.06.27 - Kyo and YUCHI interview part 2]

Explosive force , an inquisitive spirit and everything thereafter.

Part 2 of Kyo and YUCHI’s interview for spice.

“If its something I depend on, I wanna cling to it and have everything and anything I do be forgiven.” - Kyo

“But even saying that, in reality you’re the one that everyone clings to.” (haha) - YUCHI

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. Remind me to finish translating things BEFORE going to see Dir in future. 

If it’s something I depend on, I wanna cling to it and have everything and anything I do be forgiven - Kyo

But even saying that, in reality you’re the one that everyone clings to (haha) - YUCHI

So, what was the intention behind titling the album with the latin word for ‘adoration’?  

Kyo: Whilst I was writing lyrics, I thought, “Would it be easier if I had something to cling to?”

Simply by looking at that ‘something’, that object, simply but believing in that alone, I wondered would I even need anything else? I found it kinda curious.

A story coiled with love, or rather those sentiments towards a person, the concept of “dependence” almost seems to naturally become a kind of running motif. Although, it is rather interesting to see something like that come from Kyo san, who gives the impression he doesn’t depend on anything.

Kyo: O..oh...I wonder if that's the case? Actually, if it's something that I depend on I want to cling to it. (haha)

YUCHI: Oh really?

Kyo: Yep! If it's something I depend on I want cling to it and live comfortably. I want everything and anything I do to be forgiven.

YUCHI: But even saying that, in reality you're the one that everyone clings to. (haha)

So in a sense it's possible to say that because you are unable to cling to yourself, you instead write about a kind of longing for people to cling to. By the way, in -Giji Necromancer- the word ‘admirer’ comes up doesn't it? Does this also have some correlation to the title ADORATIO?

Kyo: Yes. There was a discussion about having it as the first track and all the members agreed to it. Due to the dystocia of this song it ended up being the very last one we finished didn’t it?

YUCHI: That’s right. The original bass of the song was something Takumi san made years ago and after I had a mess around with it, I personally thought “I want this to be the first track”. But, during the time where the song wouldn't really become the shape we wanted, there was this other terrifically maniacal song that was a potential candidate for recording, so Kyo san suggested what if we were to combine the two tracks?

When we forcibly gave it a go and put the two together there was an excellent chemical reaction and I realised that actually, after all, the scent of sukekiyo really is the same no matter what the genre.

Kyo: The speed it seemed to go at until completion was amazing wasn't it? Pretty much as soon as Dir en grey's tour ended it was like “let’s just have a go at recording one song” and once we’d recorded it that was just stuck.

 This beginning was something I thought we would hear through the songs as an end result, but contrary to my expectations, there has been a sudden almost chaotic evolution into this magnificent symphonic yet aggressive progressive rock.

Kyo: I guess it's kinda…hard to know what the genre is, isn’t it?

YUCHI: Even though this was the simpler version. (haha) This kind of song can very easily become scattered and disordered, so we shaved down more and more and made it easier to understand, in parts a synthetic bass was also used. Actually, in -Kubitsuri yuugu- and -Shiryou no ariana- we pretty much only used synthetic bass didn’t we?

So by adding and taking away digital components, the rhythm section becomes essential doesn’t it.

YUCHI: That’s correct. Once people listen to it whether or not it gives the feel of “digital music” really is something that depends on the size of the rhythm section and in a sense, personally myself, doing this gave me a feeling of being refreshed in a way. The shape of it is almost as if I’ve being allowed to go back to my roots; there was a sense of being released. Mika san too did a vast amount of recording using electronic drums; he would play them as is, without any editing and then the tone was step programmed. There are songs where in even if it sounds like regular drums they were actually step programmed.

Also, on disc 2 you achieved collaborations with many notorious artists however, as with previous collaborations, this time round too did Kyo san choose the artists?

Kyo. Yes. I was pushy about it and went ahead with asking my favourite artists if they would be so kind as to collaborate, so it was all for my own gain!

YUCHI: KONTA san (ex. BARBEE BOYS) was shock wasn’t it?

Kyo: It was a shock wasn’t it. I wondered to myself if it would be better to gather a group of different generations to whatever extent I could and just have them listen to the album. And so this time around, whilst trying to keep it as organised as possible, from that selection of listeners the one that was the most fun was STRAWBERRY FIELDS

Fukui san (STRAWBERRY FIELDS vo. Fukui yoshihito)  Actually, the first concert I ever went to see was STRAWBERRY FIELDS. I explained all of that in a long letter and I very kindly received an offer from Fukui san saying, “I’ll give it a shot.” But be that as it may, Fukai san doesn't sing anymore and whilst wondering if there would be some kind of gap, I listened to the song he kindly did for me and it was to the level where I was like “Is he even in retirement?!” But I expected that from him to be honest. Which is why I’m sure Fukui san’s fans will be happy too. I think it’s interesting because I left the song choice up to the people doing the songs. So it was like “Oh! Fukui san is doing madara ningen!” or like “KONTA san is doing mimizozo?!”

It certainly would be like that! However within this line up the biggest age gap must have been Gara san, he surely must have felt some pressures.

Kyo: It was a case of me doing some straight faced salesmanship and arm twisting of his feelings with me being like, “Do you understand what an honor it is for you to be in this line up?” (haha) But...meh..he’s sang countless times with sukekiyo at live shows anyway.

YUCHI: The fact I got to collaborate with the people whose CDs I would normally buy and listen to is something I am incredibly grateful for. It's such an amazingly weird feeling knowing we got to collaborate with overseas artists. I had to do a double take like “What?? Bauhaus?!”

Kyo: Yep! I was like “I want Bauhaus’ Daniel Ash to do a remix more than anything!”

But there are still artists who I wanted to collaborate with but they didn’t grant my wish….like female artists and that. Which is why this collaboration series will continue next time as well.

Considering you sing from a female’s perspective you would most certainly want to try a collaboration with female artists wouldn’t you! And so, moving on to talk about your visuals on the album, included is the performance in June and December of last year at a rare venue as well as the event with MERRY in March of this year that we talked about earlier. As well as the two music videos; -En- with its almost nostalgic scent and -Hidauta- where Kyo san’s eccentric dance leaves a lasting impression of extreme chaos, yet again a juxtaposition of song choices.

Kyo: I was torn between choosing -En- or -Hakudaku- but in the end I went with -en-. And then, I wanted something that was the complete opposite in vibe so I went with -Hidauta- . The video shooting was pretty tough.

YUCHI: The director (mika) barely sat down did he? He pretty much only sat down when he was playing the drums. (haha)

Kyo: Yep. He’d record, set up, play the drums, go back again, and check. He proper didn’t sit down at all!

Wow. You really have to tip your hat to mika for being so multi-talented, playing the drums whilst directing.

So you guys brought this album to the June shows at Tokyo and Kyoto -Rakka suru getsumen- and performed it at at the halls but where did this tour title come from?

Kyo: Whilst working on the album, there was this overwhelming surge and this kind of image came forwards of what if it were as if a crater were drawing near? An idea that something beautiful were to slowly became more and more terrifying…..I thought like if it were almost like a kind of skin wouldn't that be creepy? And with that in mind we came up with the title. The tour titles up until this point have always been pretty long but this time we aimed to make it short and to the point.

A case of if something beautiful draws close, the reality can be terrifying, a singular truth and yet it gives the impression that it flows with the world view that Kyo san paints.

Kyo: Ohh, that's possibly true. Simply, by having a pre-release sale at the actual venue, those three lives became like a kind of warm up exercise, there was that sort of feeling. Calisthenics so to speak (haha). There aren’t really many instances where you go to the live before you’ve even heard the album, and so personally I want people to first see the live without having heard the album and that way be able to enjoy and focus intently on the next live they go to.

YUCHI: Personally I think Sukekiyo’s “mode” so to speak, is something you can really understand when you see a live. Even if we do past songs, even if we put out the same sound, the atmosphere is always completely different and that's what is most interesting.

In that respect, if these 3 performances are warm up exercises for a long jump, surely there'll be a sudden dash in the form of a live will there not?

YUCHI: I’d love to do a nationwide Japan tour. Up until now, our longest tour has been abroad.

Kyo: Yeah that's right. Going to different districts means the venue will be different too, and although there may many parts that are unclear, in February we had a go at going to different live houses and that worked out pretty well. I don’t know what shape it’s going to take, but I do know that I’d like to work on more things.

[zukadiary]

Bakumatsu Taiyouden / Dramatic “S”! ~ Snow Troupe 2017

nngg…

I always feel this weird sort of out-of-body sense of detachment in the Tokyo theater. It’s not home, I’m not grounded… you leave and it’s just Tokyo, no bowl of homemade oyakodon and sympathetic conversation waiting for you with open, friendly arms. I wound up watching Sou’s taidan here too, also in blistering heat. I so wish I’d seen this in Takarazuka, more times, and without such a vast sea of heads in front of me (although having the opportunity to read the July GRAPH talks first added some lovely nuanced depth to the pain).

I did not expect to be this invested in Chigi when my much-loved Sou left. The evolution of my interest in Chigi went from “I wish Kaname was still here” to “eh, I guess” to shattering my personal record for in-theater crying (and I’ve cried in *a lot* of theaters). She lasted longer than I expected, and no one leaving with her is a huge shock, but this taidan is gutting me. I love this Yukigumi so much. I’ve loved a lot of Yukigumis, but this one has its hooks in me real deep. And it feels like its soul is being torn out. 

At my first viewing my friend flawlessly described Bakumatsu Taiyouden as “distilled essence of Chigi ft. Miyu’s beautiful voice.” It’s a perfect, lovingly crafted tribute to the Chigi-est parts of Chigi, which also means it’s an amazing troupe show.  

::insert 7 minute crying break::

Koyanagi-sensei transformed what I thought was a really mediocre movie (that had me particularly worried Miyu would get shafted) into such a playful, fun, well-orchestrated musical. There are so many opportunities for ad-libs I think I could have gone every day of the run and not gotten tired of it. Even though I’d seen the movie, it was a bit difficult to follow at first; Chigi uses a silly voice and a lot of slang, and it’s kind of a slice of life story with a lot of random happenings going on as opposed to one continuous plot line… but it gets easier once you have a general picture of the character relationships. EVERY CHARACTER’s personality comes across so clearly even with no background (which was soooo refreshing after three viewings of Yamataikoku no Kaze), and I adore Koyanagi-sensei for how well she executed that. 

Chigi’s character, Saheji, has contracted tuberculosis and has come to this inn/brothel by the sea to live out the rest of his life (I thought tuberculosis was highly contagious, but *SHRUG*). He winds up meddling, mostly hilariously, in all of the brothel’s drama. The best parts should be seen fresh so I won’t spoil them, but in general, this was so on-brand for Chigi’s comedic abilities, and it looked like she was having a TON of fun. Saheji and Osome (Miyu’s character) aren’t romantically involved, but they play off each other so well and there are so many opportunities for primarily MIYU TO TEASE CHIGI that it’s just beautiful. 

Miyu is so heartbreakingly good in this show. Her growth over her tenure with Chigi has been incredible, and her Osome is overflowing with sass and confidence. She’s also dancing the best I’ve seen her dance and singing like an absolute angel; the last time I saw her live was in Kenshin when her voice was broken, so I was beyond happy to hear this. I’m so glad she’s going out on such an amazing performance, but also IT HURTS SO BAD. Lord I hope she continues a career on stage, because she is really blossoming right now… and depriving the world of the full bloom would be such a travesty.

The other taidansha: Anri landed the role of a lifetime with Koharu, Osome’s rival (and almost equal in terms of importance), and she slayed. Dai and Gaori don’t have a ton of stage time, but they each have their own very funny and memorable scenes, so charming that they don’t feel slighted. MomoHina and Miki are primarily dancers, but they get their time up front.

Daimon is the calm and collected leader of a team of hot-headed isolationist samurai comprised of Kiraha Reo, Tachibana Kou, Kanou Yuuri, Hinata Haruki, Suwa Saki, and Manomiya Rui (interestingly, Kari may have had more stage time than anyone other than Chigi and Miyu). And Shou I guess?? She seems to be part of their team but not 100% on board with their plans, which are to blow up the foreign traders’ living quarters. It’s definitely an amusing group; Daimon’s character is all SERIOUS BUSINESS, but between the ridiculousness of their plot and the buffoonery of her comrades it’s just as silly as everything else going on.

I was fawning over Saki after my jet lagged, unfed live viewing of Takarazuka senshuuraku. Unless she was particularly on fire that day, I’m not sure exactly what hit me quite so hard then… BUT, I DO really like this character for her. She’s the spoiled, kinda flamboyant, completely useless son of the two kumichou innkeepers, and she wore that really well. Since Kenshin was the first place I saw her start to level up, it was nice to see her do such a good job with something that could not be more different. 

HIME was used properly, which is REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. 

My heart’s not really in summary and analysis… I just want to gush. Spoilers ahead.

Dramatic S is a roaring river of tears. 

It doesn’t have a flashy theme; it reminds me of My Dream Takarazuka in that way, all soul-crushing lyrics and simple but sharp, passionate dance numbers. I find myself referencing most of the scenes by the color of the suit, versus “the pirate number” or “the gigolo number” or, you know, “the passion of the christ number,” etc. There isn’t a scene I don’t love, and all the music is beautiful; I’m excited to cry my eyes out at work while listening to the CD. 

The part choreographed by Bryant Baldwin, in particular, was a spectacle. It wasn’t a flashing lights and glitter spectacle, but the dance was cool, aggressive, and visibly challenging, and it was full of little Chigi things—a Lupin heel click, a kizuna fist pump…

My kangeki schedule last year included HOT EYES!! and The Entertainer, both of which featured breathtaking special top star numbers: Maakun’s barefoot dance to Chopin under blue starlight, and Micchan ascending from the floor singing while playing a glass piano. I’ve had my fingers crossed since leaving The Entertainer that Chigi would get hers. At first I thought she didn’t, but she completely did. You’ve probably at least seen the mint green outfits in pictures floating around if you haven’t seen the show; they’re from this cruel, devastating Kizuna number. Everyone is in it, everyone is gushing Yukigumi pride… everyone lines up and Chigi looks at them one by one. Chigi’s masterpiece is this close-knit family she built, and they showed it off absolutely spectacularly. I have no idea how they’re going to be able to do it the last time without breaking down.

The kuroenbi is also devastating. Every otokoyaku (except for the newly assigned 103rds) is in it, because that’s what Chigi wanted. I lost it every time they knelt down on the stairs in her direction.

It’s hard to decide whether the Kizuna number or the duet dance is the most awful part. The dance is so stupid and tender and terrible, I need them to stop touching foreheads and looking at each other like that on loop in my memory so I can stop crying and see my damn screen. 

……….

But as if that’s not bad enough, the song is so incredibly beautiful… Chigi starts singing it up on the stairs, and when she meets Miyu to dance Daimon’s voice takes over from the kage box. I was hoping that would happen… in her personal book’s Special Talk, Tomu mentions how much she loved dancing to Daimon’s voice, because it created a whole world she could get lost in. It did, and it was a lot… arguably too much. Honey and silk and love and admiration and maddeningly soft at times…

On a personal note, whoever thought of giving first Miyu and then Daimon to Chigi is an absolute genius. Not only did they support her in the exact way she needed to be supported, but she took these two insanely talented but somewhat shy/awkward ladies and nurtured them until they bloomed into something so BEYOND… And I seriously can’t think of a top 3 whose collective chemistry I love more. 

And on an even more personal note, as a Daimon fan, I watched Fancy Guy in my despair on Tuesday night and was struck anew by how awkward Daimon was when she came here, and how despite my JOY at my FAVORITE coming to MY TROUPE of all places I couldn’t help but think “Oh honey, I’m so sorry…” And now I get choked up looking at this bit of a photo…

…because look at how fully entrenched she is in our warm beautiful family, I’m so overflowing I genuinely can’t stand it. 

I remember Lupin shonichi too clearly for it to have been 2.5 years ago, even though I wasn’t there. It was New Year’s Day and snowing. How fucking perfect is that?

Chigi, I really can’t thank you enough for this ride. 

[aja154ever]

GRANRODEO LIVE TOUR 2017 Pierrot Dancin’ Zepp DiverCity Tokyo - 08/11/2017 (谷山の日)

Set List

Pierrot Dancin’

TRASH CANDY

ナミダバナ

Glorious days

FAT SHAPER

君に one way love

日常ホライゾン

Fake lover’s true heart

バラライ

Shake the Fake

Can Do

月に抱かれて眠りたい

BIG SUN

Darlin’

NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE

ROSE HIP BULLET

modern strange cowboy

UNDER THE SKY

Once & Forever

move on! イバラミチ

Y.W.F.

Punky Funky Love

So here it is again, my GRANRODEO live fan report. This is again coming from someone who is so into Taniyama Kishou but is relatively new to the GR fandom so my feelings are just overflowing. Ok, you’ve been warned. This is again based on my memories and people’s tweets. Long post under the cut!

In the last PieDan live, I was on the 2nd floor but this time I got to be on the 1st floor. Overall, as an audience it was honestly better to watch from the 2nd floor because you can see everything. No matter where Kiiyan goes around the stage, I can see every move and that was favorably pleasing. But this time, I landed in the 4th row in the center, and yes I was freaking out the moment I got there because damn, this is the nearest I’ve ever been to in all the events (GR and not) I have attended in my whole life. And this is Taniyama Kishou so this is 100% hazardous to my own being.

Pierrot Dancin’ - It was the third time I heard this live and this was the best vocal performance so far. Just near-perfect.

Kiiyan always does ナミダバナ really well. 

Again, Glorious Days and BIG SUN are best heard live. Idk why but these two songs really stand out to me as a CD and live listener.

Kiiyan was nearest to me during 君に one way love so I was like, “この愛に気付いてくれ! (Please notice my love)” LOL

日常ホライゾン  - Good vocals not only for Kiiyan, but for e-zuka-san! Yey! Really good “dududududu.” He actually sang some intro lines before they performed the song like, “Today is the last day” “Are you having fun?” “Next will be Budokan” “Will be waiting”

Kiiyan went off-tune at some parts of Fake lover’s true heart. Just mentioning because almost all songs were near-perfect. Btw, Fire Horns joined the performance from here.

バラライ OMG バラライ. This is one of my favorite GR songs ever and this is the first time I heard this live so I was soooooo happy AAAAAHHHHH. He was talking about life as intro then he asked what’s the color of life then I lost it

Shin-kun’s drum solo was quite short this time but he performed tricks as in throwing the drum sticks and having his eyes covered with the towel while playing.

Takita-san’s solo - OMG he went so near the center and I was just staring at his fingers that I think I can see his callouses lol. How can bass sound this good???!!! Uhhh

e-zuka-san’s solo - He performed tricks like playing the guitar on the back of his head, and “biting” the strings. I also fixed my eyes on his fingers while crying internally because these hands have produced such good music for years.

Can Do - Kiiyan came out with a weapon used for throwing wristbands (lol idk how to call it) but I remembered Kurobas Cup 2015 because SuwaJun did the same there and Can Do is basically KuroBas’ iconic theme. 

月に抱かれて眠りたい  - Surprisingly, I didn’t cry. It was my first time to hear this live, and I already expected that it would sound so beautiful. But no, Kiiyan once again surpassed my expectation because it was so, very, uhh, really, sorry, just out of words  ❤ 

Darlin’ - NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE - ROSE HIP BULLET - modern strange cowboy - Ok so GRANRODEO was trying to kill us with this energy-sucking line-up. And again, this was my first time in the very front where people are expectedly the wildest. You didn’t need to jump because the crowd is bringing you with them. Head bangs, body bangs. Don’t mind the feet stepping on you because you also do step on others’ without your intention. I cannot say it enough but for me, NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST SONG OF THE NIGHT.

Kiiyan thanks the crowd for GR is only able to accomplish all these things because of the fans, who he calls their sun and darling. And he can only wish to see more beautiful sights with the fans, under this sky. And cue, UNDER THE SKY.

Once & Forever - Y.W.F. - The crowd was obviously ecstatic with this two in the encore. Kiiyan’s singing skill was superb.

The crowd did better engaging in move on! イバラミチ today than the first time (in Mezamashi Live).

Punky Funky Love - I’d always be biased towards Can Do for encore but PFL was also lively and great as hell esp with Fire Horns.

MC and Other Points

Ok wait let me just say this sorry, back from the first break, Kiiyan appeared looking so fresh that I got captivated again. He was all sweaty earlier, not that I didn’t want that. You know I’ve seen a lot of people look best wearing red, black, or white and Kiiyan is one. But how dare you look so good in blue why just how

Idk what song this happened and I don’t even care anymore, but Kiiyan was on the center rubbing his wristband on his thighs, groin, on himself. Uhhhh how am I still alive

Kishomi appeared at some point after 月に抱かれて眠りたい.

e-zuka was glad with the tour and in the last day, he can see the crowd’s faces as beer. He also felt like wanting to do G12 the following week.

When Kiiyan asked Shin-kun for his thoughts regarding the tour, “How was it with GRANRODEO? Isn’t everybody good? Especially me?” And Shin-kun just awkwardly smiles and nods in agreement. Shin-kun claimed that today especially left an impression on him. He shared that backstage, when he went to GR’s dressing room, Kiiyan was really loud today; he even imitated Kiiyan’s laughter. As it turned out Kiiyan was watching a baseball match on TV.

At first, Kiiyan was having a hard time segueing from MC to UNDER THE SKY so he called out “e-zuka-san, tasukete! (save me).” e-zuka-san then goes like, “Live shows are different every time. The people who come, the songs, the weather, the color of the sky, the mood.” Then he proceeds to sing 慟哭ノ雨 instead!

Kiiyan said that out of all the 18 performances for the PieDan live tour, today was the most fun. 

Kiiyan called out the crowd to say “kawaii”

“Kiiyan is?”

KAWAII!

“The Kiiyan who just became 42 years old is??”

KAWAII!!

“That Kiiyan is??”

KAWAII!!

“You guys are more kawaii!”

KYAAAAAAAAAAAA

Calling them back for encore took some time like my throat was already dried up from the exhausting line-up but there I was still shouting “RODEO” for how many minutes already. Now this is the reason why. When they came back, Kiiyan was blindfolded, with e-zuka-san holding his two hands guiding him as they walk. (That was really cute!)

A birthday cake was presented and then everyone sang him a happy birthday. And Kiiyan’s smile was precious. 

e-zuka-san and the rest wore white shirts with a doodle of Kiiyan’s face which turned out to be drawn by e-zuka-san. The words 「紀章愛」「きーやんラブ」(Kishou love, Kiiyan love) were also printed on the shirt. When the staff also went out wearing the shirt, Kiiyan exclaimed, “That’s creepy!” When the crowd shouted that they also want to have the shirt, e-zuka-san responded, “Okay that’s 20,000 yen!”

Kiiyan ofc expected that something would come up since it’s his birthday. When he removed his blindfold, he somehow thought that his parents would actually be brought there in front of him. “I was prepared to cry. I, who has never cried in front of people even once.” LOL Kiiyan who are you kidding

Kiiyan describes how his feelings of gratitude couldn’t be put into words. That really, love isn’t something expressed through words.

He ate one strawberry saying it was sour but delicious. He wanted to throw strawberries to the audience but ofc that couldn’t be done lol.

They also wanted to cut and give out the cake to everyone in the crowd. Lol there were 2000+ people

When they returned for the last encore, they went out jumping (not walking) in line towards the stage. This time Kiiyan was also wearing the Kiiyan shirt. He said, “A shirt with your own face on it, just how much do you love yourself?”

Kiiyan shared that when his mother found out that Punky Funky Love was by GRANRODEO, she said that it was their best.

They all hugged each other in the end. And apparently, OMG (I just saw this on Twitter I wasn’t able to see this live bec I got pushed back wth), Kiiyan actually removed his shirt and threw it to the crowd. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Photos/Posts from Official Accounts:

The GR classic line-up was the best but frustratingly, this was also the time when I started getting pushed back from my satisfactory view from the front row. So half of the live, I got to see well but then half of it, I was mainly seeing the hands and head of RGRB (and I was almost eating the hair of the RG in front of me). Which was really sad, because I came here to watch Kiiyan, GR, so PLEASE. I’ve never hated my height this much. I should've come wearing the highest heels. And this is why I’m not sure anymore if I would prefer to be on the 1st floor in the next live shows. I am now torn between seeing Kiiyan up close for a few times then totally not seeing him for a couple of songs from the 1st floor, or seeing him all the time from a far from the 2nd floor.

ANYWAY, of course overall, it was again a very, very fun and gratifying night. It was the last day of the tour, and more than anything else, it was Taniyama Kishou’s birthday. I got to personally sing Happy birthday to this year’s most important person to me. I was constantly yelling cheers, but I shouted my loudest when I said “Omedetou!” and “Arigatou!” even if those words will never be enough to express how happy and grateful I am to have met Kiiyan.  ❤ ❤

Next comes G12!! 

[frommountainstolonestars]

An Open Letter to A7X

To Avenged Sevenfold:

Before I start this letter, let me just preface it with the fact that I have been having some hand/nerve issues and my writing may become disjointed because of that.

I first found out about y’all four—almost five—years ago. The reason I got into y’all is probably a little different than other fans. I’m an avid reader and one of the books I read said to understand the book better, the reader needed to look up the lyrics to “Dear God” by Avenged Sevenfold and then to listen to it. So, like a good reader, I did. I fell in love with that song and had to hear more from this band. (I thought y’all were country). The second song I heard was “Hail to the King” and the change in pace and tempo made me love the band even more. I bought that album (it had just come out) and started listening to all of your other songs. It took about six months for me to get through all the albums, but when I had, you had all awakened a part of me I didn’t know existed.

From my appreciation of your music, I started looking into other hard rock and heavy metal bands. Obviously, I knew who Metallica was, but I started digging into more of their stuff and even got into Judas Priest and Pantera, bands my parents hated and bands I thought I would never like.

When I got my resident assistant job, I was listening to “MIA” and that song became my lucky one. Unfortunately, some things in my life happened that might have torn down another person. It was y’all and other metal bands that helped me through.

You see, I’m a soon-to-be college graduate who has had a difficult six years, but the last two years of my life have been rougher than I ever expected them to be.

It all started in November 2015 when I got this terrible lower abdominal pain. I thought it was cramps or ovulation pain; the emergency room in Texas couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Flash forward to winter break, and I’ve had this pain for four weeks now. My wonderful mom got me into a surgeon, and I’d never been more nervous. I’d only had my wisdom teeth removed, so an actual surgery terrified me. They took me in and let me listen to a couple of songs (“Gunslinger” and “Strength of the World”) before I went under. It turned out I had two ruptured cysts and appendicitis. I easily could have gotten a terrible infection from either.

Time wears on, and I head back to my university (University of North Texas, go Mean Green!). I’m an athlete, have been for most of my life. I run/ran three times a week. My knee started to dislocate when I ran, but I could just pop it back in place. Eventually, it got to the point where running and even walking hurt too much. I waited until summer and returned home to see what the hell was wrong.

From all my years of soccer and running, and continuing to play soccer after a knee injury five years ago, I had torn the ligament that attaches my femur to my patella—the most rare knee surgery. A week before my knee surgery, my incredibly wonderful mother found out that my alcoholic father had stolen and gambled away $3,000 from their joint account. That same say, my father found out that his mother was dying. He flew out to San Antonio to deal with that situation. Mom started the process for divorce. Literally an hour before my knee surgery, I found out my grandmother had died.

When I woke up, I was in the worst pain of my life. My knee had to be immobile for four weeks before I could start physical therapy. I was up every four hours to take Percocet, which we later found out I’m allergic to. Having my leg (my dominate leg) taken away from me and not being able to do things for myself filled me with anger. A lot of what helped me through was y’all and bands similar to you. Post-knee surgery me was the worst, but your music helped me through.

Fast forward again, and I’m now back at school in my final year (Fall 2016) and my life was looking up. I found a publisher for my books, I would be turning 21 in November, and I’d get to see my favorite band with my best friend at Texas Mutiny.

Texas Mutiny was the most incredible concert of my life. I smuggled my DSLR camera in (don’t tell anyone) and captured some of the best photos of my life. That concert helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my photojournalism degree. And for my 21st birthday, my friends surprised me with a signed vinyl of The Stage and several of your CDs. It cheered me up because my birthday was on Election Day and very few people remembered it… which was understandable.

However, my life can’t always be sunshine and rainbows. Nine days before my birthday, I was rushed to the ER after puking up my guts. The ultrasound technician found five ovarian cysts. Three of them were the size of my uterus, and I needed immediate surgery. Because I’m a college student “immediate” meant my next time off. My Thanksgiving break was recovery and more of your music. My wonderful mom came down to Denton to help me through that surgery.

My 2016 winter break was spent writing and getting my older sister to listen to your songs. She really enjoys the white album and even some songs on The Stage. I also examined that album and just fell in love with basically every song. My cover for my book came in, and I got inspired to write a collection of short stories based on songs. My favorite bands are featured quite a bit… I hope that’s okay.

Now, I’m back at school again and my stomach pain comes back. Two months after surgery and the ovarian cysts were back. But something even worse happened at the end of January 2017. I’m a writer and a photographer who depends on her hands for work and stress relief.

At the end of January, my hands started to malfunction. They can’t fully flex of fist, they’re always cold, they get numb and tingling, my wrists and elbows hurt, and my joints are very stiff. My spring break was spent back in Reno getting tests done. They ruled out anything wrong with my central nervous system—thank god—but the pain still remains. And I was scared. I’m still scared actually. I have psoriatic arthritis and it’s incurable. Really the only things helping me are music, the Deathbat nation, my friends, and my mom. To make matters worse, my father had two heart attacks and two surgeries right before I came home. He only has maybe 2-5 years left. He’s an asshole, but I love him.

I know that was the longest intro ever, and y’all are probably wondering why I’m writing this at all at this point. My name is Carmen, and I’m a photojournalist (almost) and recently published author who just wants to thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me and the other fans. So here’s my long list of thank yous.

To all the guys: thank you for forming Avenged Sevenfold. Without you coming together, I wouldn’t have found a lot of my friends. Your music has gotten me through some of the most difficult situations in my life and your music has inspired my writing and made me a better person (the writing portion). There’s something about your music that just speaks to people and has made my life so much brighter. I can’t wait to see you and Metallica in June!

To Brooks: I know you haven’t been with the band long, but I’m glad you’re with them! I loved your drumming when you were with Tenacious D and Bad Religion. You definitely remind me of the dad friend out of all the guys, and I think it’s awesome to see what you add to the band. Your drumming on The Stage is also INSANE. I love what you did on “Angels.”

To Johnny Christ: I don’t think you’re a gnome for starters. You’re much taller than my short ass. All jokes aside, I love how you are on stage. You exude so much passion and energy; I wish I had gotten more photos at Texas Mutiny. You sing/shouting on “Nightmare” also adds a little depth to the song and never fails to put a smile on my face. Oh! Congrats on your son.

To Zacky V: I’m ambidextrous because I have to be from the hand issues, and I so rarely see left-handed musicians that every time I watch you play, it gives me hope. I’m not musically inclined at all, but knowing a lefty is out there brightens my day. You have such an awesome style and your skill with the guitar is out of this world. I hope we can get more solos from you.

To Synyster: dude, you are one of the best guitarists I’ve heard, excluding Santana. I could pick your style out so easily. The work you’ve done with A7X and Pinkly Smooth just blow me away. I can’t believe someone can have talent and skill like that. You are a guitar god, Mr. Haner.

To Shadows: as a writer, I most easily connect with words. Your lyrics speak to me on a spiritual level (which is probably why I have so many tatted on me). You have a way with words. And your voice is so unique and every time I hear “Dear God,” I remember why this band became my favorite. Just, thank you for doing what you do.

To the women of A7X (Val, Michelle, Lacey, Megan, etc.): thank you guys for being you. I hope you know how much love the Deathbat nation has for you. Without your support, the band probably wouldn’t be where they are (no offense guys).

To the fans: thank you guys! I have met so many amazing people through this band. Y’all have helped me through a lot, and I’ve met some good friends through it. Sevenfold has cultivated a fan base unlike any other, and I’d like to thank every Deathbat for who they are and for being so caring and for taking care of me.

So, I just want to say thank you from a fan who’s been through a lot and has made it through thanks, in part, to your music and the most supportive mother ever. The only thing I have to add is that my dream is to one day meet y’all and thank y’all in person. And this final part is going to sound so fucking cheesy, but I hope y’all sign my Deathbat and that the writer side of me gets to write your extended (not brief) biography.

Thanks again for all you have done.

 Sincerely,

Carmen

[goldenscript]

bright light.

1,567 words | fluff, angst ↳ celebrity/fan au + lisa manoban

author’s note: not sure how i came up with this idea exactly, but it happened - here it is!

Lisa remembers what it’s like to fawn over someone.

It wasn’t that long ago when she was a fan, starry-eyed and inspired, over an artist who would later become the very reason she was in this business.

Those days when she spent hundreds of dollars on CDs and concerts, even brave the stuffy, rare occurrences of a fanmeet, just to get a taste of what talent was and see it for her own eyes, feel it, embrace it, and voice her own gratitude and seek advice in case she ever wanted to venture down the same road. That was when she was young, but it’s all clearly pressed into the back of her mind like a stamp, it’s hard to forget your beginnings when you spend all your time chasing after the outcome.

She remembers what it’s like to leave an impression on someone.

For all those times she spent trying to meet her idols, she tried to be as genuine as possible, because she felt they needed to know, to understand just how much they meant to her and how much she looked up to them. Even if it was one voice among the plenty, she hoped that perhaps hers would stand out one day. And there were moments where it felt like it would - at least until the doubts began to flood back into her mind and remind her that she was only one person, so why would anyone care?

At least until she met Jeon Jiwoo. An idol with a fierce personality and moves that blew Lisa’s breath away the moment she saw it on her debut video… the younger girl knew how much she admired the older girl.

Everything she wanted to be Jiwoo was, so the moment there was a talent search held by her and her company, the Thai dancer went for it, and ever since then… her life changed.

All those things that Lisa did in hopes of seeking out her idols were happening to her. All the fan meets, the concerts, and it was all thanks to her now best friend, Jiwoo, and it’s been the best thing of her life being able to inspire others and still find inspiration in them. It’s all she ever wanted in life.

At least… she thought so.

Her conviction has only ever stemmed from the mere fact that she’s always wanted this life. The success, the fans, the connections… it’s always satisfied her. Nothing else. No romance, no flings, no scandals - none of those.

Yet among the masses, among the many faces and the voices she’s ever come across, it’s yours that seems to resonate with her. In the back of her mind, you’re imprinted there amidst the memories that keep her grounded. Not because you’re part of her past, but because you give her the impression that you could become more than just a passing face. In fact, you are.

When she met you at a meet and greet, she saw a beginning person, already in bloom and flourishing as you spoke about your dreams and your passions with utter conviction, and it wasn’t that she saw herself in you but you made yourself utterly cohesive through her eyes. There an energy about you. From your smile that continues to stay etched into her brain and a light in your eyes that the spotlights trained on herself pale in comparison. Hell, they remind her of the stars she’d spend her time staring at from the outside of her small shack on the outskirts of the city, wishing for a life behind the one she had then.

She never thought she could meet someone like you, and yet somehow she did. It was undeniable how badly you were on her mind long after the fanmeet. She offered her kindest smile and hoped that your experience with her was as memorable to you as it was for her even if… she wouldn’t see you after this.

After all, what were the odds?

–Fortunately, fate favors Lisa.

She bumped into you in the middle of the street on a nightly excursion in the cityscape. For reasons she didn’t know initially, you were prowling about from a late night session in your dance group’s studio with only hopes of getting home until a collision halts your movements and Lisa’s as well.

With apologies on your lips, your eyes widen at the site of her mask clad face, because whether the blonde hid behind a black material, she was easily identifiable through your eyes. And she knew you as well.

Straight away from your voice, she couldn’t deny how elated she was to hear and see you. Her eyes widen and she immediately apologizes for her own clumsiness, and she even offers to make it up to you with some coffee.

And, to be frank, how could you deny your favorite idol that offer?

By the end of the night, both of your interests are piqued enough and numbers are exchanged in a flurry, without a second thought you both are talking incessantly outside of regular settings – phone calls at late hours, random text messages at moments that remind you of one another, and occasional visits when it’s convenient on both your schedules.

She comes to some of your performances, cheering loudly from the back, sometimes sneaking to the front and into the back with a bouquet of flowers because she’s no heathen - she’ll bring you anything if you’d ask honestly. You go to most of hers, unless they’re out of the country, though you surprised her once and she nearly cried on stage. Sometimes you’ll sneak over to her apartment with her favorite food or she’ll pop into your dance studio with her camera crew just to record fresh talent though everyone knows it’s also because she wants to see you flourish for your talent as well.

There are nights that get unbearable, however.

When fame grows, the distance does as well. It reminds the both of you that whatever you have can easily be torn apart if you aren’t trying hard enough. And sometimes, trying means waking up at opposite hours just to hear each other’s voices or see each other’s faces on a grainy screen. Sometimes it means missing out on big performances or important dates. Sometimes, it even means falling asleep before you have the chance at saying good-bye. Then those turn into missed calls, missed texts, and silence nonetheless.

Neither of you mean it, not in the slightest, and admittedly it’s caused quite a few arguments that get resolved soon enough. But this is one that feels the hardest to come back from when all it seems is the universe is trying to tell you two that time is up and it’s high time you both move on from trying to keep up with one another when you’re on opposite sides of a spectrum.

It’s scary to think that an end can come.

At least Lisa’s never had to face that until now.

The warmth of her bed feels generic as if someone merely merely a heater from two feet away and then walked off because that was somewhat warm enough. It’s large and foreboding, reminding her of the emptiness that will envelop her in the white duvet and matching sheets.

She says nothing as she lays there in wonder. She’s been home for some time now, and the last fight you two had was about a week ago. Will you come home to her?

Actually, the better question is do you even consider this place a home at all?

When she considers how she feels about you and everything else, she knows that at the end of it all, she’ll love you no matter what. You’ll still be on her mind, because you’ve found a home there, and really there’s no other place you could go even if she wanted to push you - not that she ever would or want to, but you have a place there whether you want one or not.

She can’t remember what this fight was about – maybe it was coming home at all, but why wouldn’t she when you’ve just gotten a signed deal at dance company you’ve talked ages about?

Why wouldn’t she want to celebrate that?

She’s had enough tours to last her a lifetime and back - a homecoming fanmeet won’t hurt anyone anyway.

Regardless, she feels herself drift as she continues to lay there, curling up into a ball to let her personal warmth seep into the sheets.

She only wakes when she feels an arm slip across her waist, her back pressed against your torso, while you seem to whisper something in her ear that she barely makes out as “Welcome home.”

She mutters the same in response to you, and a smile curves on her lips to hear your own soft laughter in response.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come by.” You say, brushing the blonde locks from her face. She likes the way your fingers feel -warm and soft- just like you.

“It’s okay…” She replies, a little more awake now that her heart is racing. It still won’t let up around you. “You’re here now.”

You nuzzle her cheek, pressing your lips to her cheek, “And here I will stay.”

You’re the brightest light she’s seen, and she really wouldn’t have it any other way.

[postgamecontent]

The Summer of Adventure: Legend of Mana

Original Release Date: July 15, 1999 (JPN)

Original Hardware: Sony PlayStation

Although the various installments of the Final Fantasy series differ from each other in many ways, you can get the general sense that it knows what its fans are looking for. The same can be said for the SaGa series, Square's next most-prolific series. By contrast, the Mana series has always seemed a bit confused. With 25 years behind it and several games in the line, the Mana brand is one of Square's most well-known and longest-running. At the same time, it seems to have been stuck with a really tricky problem that it has never quite been able to resolve. It has a lot of fans who really couldn't be clearer about what they'd like to see from a new Mana game, a creator who seemed to be torn between his own ideas and trying to make the fans happy, and a whole lot of empty space between the two. I'm not sure if Legend of Mana is the best example of that divide, but it was certainly where it started to become apparent.

I've touched lightly on the topic before when I wrote up Secret of Evermore, but let's talk a little bit about the history of the Mana series leading up to this game. The first game in the series was a labeled spin-off of the Final Fantasy series in both Japan and internationally. Seiken Densetsu: Final Fantasy Gaiden (dubbed Final Fantasy Adventure in the United States and Mystic Quest in Europe) was a fairly straightforward action-RPG for the Nintendo Game Boy. It took a few cues from Falcom and a few cues from The Legend of Zelda, and the result was a surprisingly fun game. Sure, it had some nasty hangnails in its design, but the game was short and sweet enough to forgive any unscripted accidents along the way. If you want to try it out, there's a moderately straight remake of the game available on mobile and PlayStation Vita under the title Adventures of Mana that mostly just updates the presentation.

Though the game released in 1991, it had been on the mind of its creator for a while. As early as 1987, in fact. Koichi Ishii presented his first idea for the game that year, but Square rejected it, choosing to focus on their new Final Fantasy series instead. After spending a few years making vital contributions to the first three games in that series, Ishii was able to get his game approved as a spin-off, and the healthy sales gave him the chance to continue. The next game dropped the Final Fantasy connection and went with the name Seiken Densetsu 2. It was released in Japan on the Super Famicom in August of 1993, given a brisk localization into English, and sent out in the West only a few months later under the title Secret of Mana. The game had a rather difficult development, as it was originally planned for the aborted SNES CD add-on. When that device was canceled, Square asked the team to get the game going on a regular cartridge at any cost. The team ended up cutting out about 40% of the planned content, which included things like branching paths and multiple endings. Secret of Mana also suffers from a number of bugs that are likely related to its sudden format shift.

While the game wasn't as Ishii had envisioned it, Secret of Mana was a huge success. It sold 1.5 million copies in Japan, and a respectable 300,000 copies overseas. Perhaps more importantly, people adored the game. The variety of weapons, interesting locations, easy-to-understand combat system, and riotously enjoyable multiplayer made for a near-instant classic. And here, I think, is where we can spot the first signs of the eventual divide. I suspect that from Ishii's view, the game was successful in spite of the cuts, while I strongly believe that it may have been successful because of them. Koichi Ishii frequently worked together with SaGa series creator Akitoshi Kawazu, and I've always felt they had a similar philosophy with regards to game design. While many designers strive to cut away excess fat from their designs, Kawazu and Ishii seem to revel in adding as much complexity and as many gameplay systems as they can fit. I think they do that for different reasons, but the results can look awfully similar at times.

Seiken Densetsu 3 is best known in the West as the one that got away. I've heard plenty of reasons that reasonably explain why, but in the absence of hard facts, all we can really say is that the follow-up to Secret of Mana never got an official English release in spite of strong demand. I think this is a critical component of the later reaction to Legend of Mana, to be honest. While in screenshots the game appeared to be very similar to Secret of Mana, Ishii was able to get a lot closer to his design goals with Seiken Densetsu 3. There are six playable characters to choose from, each with their own weapon and magic specialties. Each character has access to two different classes, and a calendar function was included that had multiple effects on the game. Naturally, the game also came loaded with a ton of slightly different storylines and endings based on who you choose as your main character and supporting party members. Despite its ambitions, on a purely mechanical level Seiken Densetsu 3 played similarly to the previous game in the series, however.

Missing out on this game put Western fans of the series on the defensive. I can't lie, I was among those who felt extremely upset that Square didn't bring Seiken 3 over. At the time, I didn't really understand the market realities. I just knew there was something I wanted and I believed they were keeping it from me. There was always some hope that Square would change their minds. Even today, people are willing to believe that Square will finally translate the game as part of the Nintendo Switch Seiken Densetsu Collection. For many fans, though, the writing was on the wall after the Super NES's time in the market had passed. Mana die-hards then looked to the next game in the series, hoping Square would decide differently about localizing it. Given their affiliations at the time, it wasn't hard to guess the game would be designed for the Sony PlayStation, and Square did indeed decide to release it overseas. Those who had been pining for another game along the lines of Secret of Mana were in for a shock, however.

Up until Legend of Mana, Koichi Ishi had been mostly working on the series with Hiromichi Tanaka. The two had worked together on a number of Final Fantasy games, and Tanaka served as the producer and, in the case of Seiken 3, director of the Mana games. When it came time to do the next Mana game, however, Tanaka was waist-deep in projects of his own design such as Xenogears and Chrono Cross. This time, Ishi would have someone different as a producer, and you can spot his fingerprints all over Legend of Mana. Akitoshi Kawazu worked as a producer on many of Square game's from this era forward, but it is said that he had a bigger effect on this game than usual. I suspect he encouraged Ishi's natural tendencies more than anything else. Also joining the Mana series for the first time was one of Chrono Trigger's directors, Akihiko Matsui. These three men were just coming off of a project together, the experimental SaGa Frontier, and it's clear that project had some influence on Legend of Mana.

Legend of Mana was one of those games that seemed to pop out of nowhere just before its release. Square announced it in March of 1999. The game would be on the store shelves in Japan just four months later, riding a surprisingly strong marketing effort that saw the game packaged with a demo disc containing short playable snippets from Vagrant Story, Threads of Fate, Front Mission 3, and the highly-anticipated Chrono Cross. While the game didn't sell anywhere near the numbers that Secret of Mana had, it did quite well in Japan, selling over 700,000 copies, and was generally well-received. The overseas release the following year wouldn't benefit from a packed-in demo disc, but Square did make an effort to push the game through the Summer of Adventure promotion. As the first release of the three games included in that promotion, it's arguable that it may indeed have benefited the most from it. Sales got off to a good start, but Legend of Mana had to overcome an obstacle that Secret of Mana didn't have to: mixed reviews.

While reviews were mostly positive, scores were lower than you might have expected. Even the reviews that praised it made a point of how different it was from the previous games in the series, however. An already-wary fanbase ended up being split by the game's direction, and I'm sorry to say that I fell in with those who opted to pass on the game. At the time, my finances were tight, and I was trying to save money for a PlayStation 2. My Summer of Adventure had gotten an early start with Vagrant Story, and with only enough cash for one more game from the selection, I naturally chose to buy Chrono Cross. By the time I had extra money, I had heard enough negative things about that game that I never did get around to playing it. That means that the playthrough I did for this article was my very first experience with Legend of Mana.

I'm actually glad that I waited, though. Knowing my tastes and sensibilities at the time, I probably would have written Legend of Mana off quickly. This game is a real oddball, and it doesn't seem to care much for the conventions of the previous games in the series or of its contemporaries in the genre. If I didn't have prior knowledge, I likely wouldn't be able to correctly guess when it was made, because it seems forward-thinking in a lot of surprising ways. It is very much its own game, and I'm not terribly shocked that it ended up as a "love it or hate it" affair. While it has its share of bad points, I suspect the game's biggest crime in the eyes of Secret of Mana fans is in how different it is from what you would expect from the name. The series would only go in stranger directions from here, mind you, resulting in games that were less "love it or hate it" and more "no thank you" than anything else. Square still keeps the name in play, but Koichi Ishii has long since left. In 2007, he took the role of president and CEO of Grezzo, where he continues to work on games to this day.

I can't speak to where Ishii's thinking was at in the later Mana games, but having finally filled my personal gap in the series by playing Legend, I can say that there's a certain heart to this game that is lacking in games like Children of Mana. Every little piece of Legend of Mana feels like a personal expression, and the overall experience feels like it was made without any regard or care for how marketable it was. Only a few years earlier, Square had given the Western market the kick in the pants it needed to finally go all in on JRPGs via Final Fantasy 7. I have my issues with that game, but it's built to please, especially early on. Clear goals, hand-holding a-plenty, and non-stop action sequences fill out the first several hours of the game to ensure the player is hooked. Legend of Mana is nearly the opposite. Your initial goals are extremely vague. The game only gives you the barest of hints about what you should be doing, and even once you figure that out, action is hardly guaranteed. Sometimes the game wants to stop and slowly tell you a silly or heartfelt story. You won't always get to hit something, in other words, and that was a rare trait for action-RPGs of this period.

Many people in the West simply didn't know what to do with Legend of Mana, and you can see it by reading reviews from around its launch. In the Japanese market, some of the SaGa games flirted with a similar structure, but it feels like Western JRPG fans didn't really have the vocabulary yet to process it. Looking at it with 2017 eyes, however, the game seems ridiculously forward-thinking. For example, instead of having a long, continuously-flowing overarching story, Legend of Mana opts for 67 smaller quests. Each one is introduced with a title card, and when it has been resolved, it closes with an ending card. These quests can run anywhere from five minutes to a couple of hours to resolve, and while not all of them are critical to the main story that eventually forms, each and every one of them helps flesh out the game world and its inhabitants.

Now, it's certainly natural for RPGs to have a variety of quests and sub-quests, but the way Legend of Mana presented them was new and seen as bizarre or disjointed. Several years later, Capcom's Monster Hunter would popularize this structural style. We can now see it in many handheld and mobile RPGs, as slicing up the quests that way allows the player to spend a little time on the game, solve a quest or two, and still feel like they had a satisfying experience with some closure. In other words, it's quite normal now. I have to wonder if the people who felt the game was hurt by this set-up would feel differently today? In my case, I was a little shocked by the first set of title cards, but only because I wasn't expecting that kind of thing in a game of this vintage.

The way its world is set up feels ahead of its time, too. Though I have to admit, the marketing was a little bit deceitful about this part of the game. Basically, as you clear objectives and solve quests, you'll be given special items that can be used on the map to spawn a new location. That new location will contain new quests, which will give you more items to spawn further locations, and so on. You can place these locations wherever you like on the map, but apart from a mild effect on the magic system, there's no reason to place any location in a particular spot. The locations have no effect on each other, and you travel between them on the abstract map screen, so it's not like you're really building a world the way the marketing copy tries to sell it. Perhaps it's best to think of it as a standard progression-based stage system with a bit of non-linearity thrown in. The structure calls to mind a lot of modern social RPGs and handheld games where the budget doesn't allow for a giant interconnected overworld.

Like many of those games, your character works from a hub-like home area that can be cultivated and improved by collecting goodies and using them. The purpose of these improvements is to give you an edge in battles, generally. That's unfortunate, because I'm not sure that you really need an edge in battles. Rather than offering the free flow battles of the previous games, Legend of Mana's combat set-up is similar to that of Chrono Trigger. If enemies block your way, you'll pull out your weapon and go into a separate combat mode. From here, it's like a mix of the previous Mana games and a belt-scrolling brawler like Streets of Rage. Fights are fairly brainless in this game, and you don't even really need to pay a lot of attention to your character build to win. Just stand slightly below the enemy and hack away with your weapon of choice. That should lead to victory, and even when it leads to defeat, the game kindly allows you to continue from the start of the battle.

The battle system is one of the weaker points of the game. Combat isn't bad, per se, but it is tedious, unavoidable, and virtually mindless. The lightweight difficulty takes away from the practical value of many of the game's sub-systems. On a purely mechanical level, Legend of Mana doesn't really come together all that well. Vestigial sub-systems and lukewarm combat are only part of the problem from a design standpoint. There are also a lot of easily-missable things in the game, some of which will already be long gone before you even realize you were supposed to do them. Even when you're aware of certain things that you need to do, unexpected circumstances can prevent you from doing them.

The Cactus Reports are a particularly egregious example. You can talk to the Li'l Cactus in your home after each quest is finished and he'll make a little journal entry that you can read. It's one of the only ways the game tracks your quests. Unfortunately, you can only make a report on the most-recently completed quest, so if you finish another quest before you talk to the Li'l Cactus, you've missed your chance to complete the entry for the prior quest. That's strict enough, but there are times when certain events are forced on you, making it impossible to report to the Li'l Cactus before completing another quest. You have to tread very carefully if you want to fill out your quest log on one playthrough.

So yes, plenty of scabs to pick at here. And yet, there's something about Legend of Mana that makes me want to forgive its faults and love it anyway. I think the game would be better if the sub-systems had more practical value, but I also think it's fine for them to exist as things to do all on their own. The opacity of the game is bewildering at first, but the game is extremely forgiving in most ways, so you can actually enjoy the process of discovery rather than stress about it. The combat could use a tune-up, but I would almost be fine with the game not having any combat at all, strangely enough. In the end, the only thing that truly annoys me in Legend of Mana is the way the quest log works. Being able to miss entries isn't great, and I wish there was a way to review which quests you've already started. In its current form, the game requires a very methodical approach that seems to run counter to the spirit of the rest of it.

See, what I think Legend of Mana is really about is building a world. While your character is the driver of that reconstruction, your presence in the story more often than not feels like that of an observer. You're initiating things, to be sure, but from there, you largely watch them play out on their own. As each quest is checked off, you gain a little more understanding about this world, and perhaps more importantly, the characters that inhabit it. The main plotlines (there are three of them) get the greatest focus, but the side quests do a great job of adding layers thick and thin to the various people you meet. Characters who stood at the center of one quest might be bit players or cameos in others, but in doing that, the game makes this world feel more believable. Of course the strange people you met in the desert have day jobs. Why wouldn't they? I think it's through this carefully cultivated world-building that Legend of Mana finds its magic. This is a place where you want to spend your time. It's not the best obstacle course in the mechanical sense because it's a living setting that doesn't necessarily structure itself around the needs of a video game.

Coming into this, I didn't expect to love Legend of Mana. And had I played it at the wrong moment in my life, I don't think I would have. But after finishing it up, all I want to do is dive back into its world. I want there to be more side quests. I want there to be more odd conversations. I wish there were more to wring out of this wonderful little sponge. Legend of Mana is a terrible sequel to Secret of Mana, but it makes up for it by being, in many ways, a more interesting and enjoyable experience. If nothing else, it's a true testament to the amazingly creative era of Square prior to its financial difficulties that led to the Enix merger. Definitely worth a good chew.

Next: Threads of Fate

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[netunleashed-blog]

Musical differences – meet the people whose romantic relationships were torn apart by pop

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=36144 Musical differences – meet the people whose romantic relationships were torn apart by pop - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=36144 You meet a new person. Everything about them is perfect. Then they pick you up in their car and they're rocking out to a Nickelback CD. What do you do? You may very well dump them, finds Nick Levine Any music lover knows that when you start dating someone, you want them to like the same kind of stuff as you do. One of my boyfriends infuriated me endlessly by insisting that my absolute favourite pop star, Madonna, was “past it” and “overrated”. I always took great pleasure in seeing him lose his shit whenever he’d had a few drinks and ‘Like A Prayer’ or ‘Hung Up’ came on in the club. Another former boyf heard an album I really love, Siobhán Donaghy’s cult classic ‘Ghosts’, and said he’d rather listen to “I dunno, Hayley Evetts”. You probably don’t know who Hayley Evetts is because she’s a singer who came fifth on Pop Idol in 2002. Hayley Evetts! I’m getting angry again now just thinking about it, and this is a conversation that happened about 10 years ago. Still, I’m not sure I’ve ever had it as bad as these music fans, who all had a relationships full-on ruined by a partner’s incompatible music taste. Read on and think yourself very, very lucky. The one in an intolerable hip hop/rock fusion band Kim, London: “Pretending to like his band’s music became a chore” “I’d been in London for about four or five months when I met this guy on a dating site. Actually, one of his profile photos showed him playing the drums, which for a young music journalist was really appealing – we had shared interests and he had good arms! So we started dating and at first it was cool going along to his gigs, but I was really into Girls Aloud and Charlotte Church at the time, so his band’s hip-hop/rock fusion didn’t really appeal to me very much. I always had to pretend to like his music and it just got to the point where I couldn’t do it any more. Forcing myself to listen to the CD he gave me and going to his shows all the time just sucked the fun out of the relationship. It ran its course for other reasons too, but the huge divide in our music taste was a major part of it breaking down. I ended things, drunk, at a bus stop in Acton.” The one who spoiled my favourite song Lars, Brighton: “He sang ‘Call The Shots’ by Girls Aloud very loudly and very out of tune as often as possible” “I used to go out with someone who sang ‘Call The Shots’ by Girls Aloud very loudly and very out of tune as often as possible. Looking back, I think that might be the main reason we split up. I still can’t listen to that song to this day. He knew how painful I found it hearing him sing that song, and as our relationship deteriorated he’d sing it right in my face to wind me up. That said, maybe this isn’t so much a ‘taste in music’ thing as it’s a ‘him being a cunt’ thing.” The one who didn’t like any kind of music. At all.  Scott, Glasgow: “He said that when he went to clubs, he just danced because he was out” “I once dated a guy who didn’t listen to music. Like, at all. I met him in a club, fancied the hell out of him and thought I wasn’t in with a chance. But I ended up going home with him – something I wasn’t used to – and it was all good, so I stuck around the next day and being a massive music fan, tried to talk about my favourite bands and singers. But he barely responded and just seemed bored. We went on a few dates and I tried to get him into the stuff I had on in the car, but he wasn’t interested at all. I just couldn’t understand why someone wouldn’t even have, like, a go-to band. He said that when he went to clubs, he just danced because he was out and had no idea what anything was. Eventually I was just like, ‘No pal, sorry, we have nothing in common!’ And that was that.” The one who didn’t respect Luther Vandross Anna, London: “I was incredulous and  angry. He had to go.” “I had a very hot boyfriend who I felt a major sexual attraction to. We dated on and off for about eight months, and even went on holiday together. But one day he said he didn’t like Luther Vandross and his posturing ‘ladies’ man’ style. I pointed out that Luther was in fact gay and suggested that my boyfriend check out his fantastic cover of ‘A House Is Not A Home’. He replied that he didn’t like Burt Bacharach, which left me incredulous and really made me angry, so obviously he had to go. I also mentioned that Teddy Pendergrass was more of a ladies’ man, at least on stage, but that just went over his head altogether.” The one who listened to Disney songs Clara, Margate: “She told me she couldn’t stand Kate Bush’s voice” “I dated a girl for a while in uni who had the worst taste in music. Actually, we were never an item or anything, but we did kind of hang out and hook up for a few months and it was always quite fun. Anyway, all she would listen to was Disney songs or the most basic pop songs – I’m not a snob or anything, I love Little Mix and Dua Lipa, but literally she would only ever put on the most generic radio shit. One day she came round to mine to watch a film and I was playing Kate Bush songs on Spotify. She literally winced as she walked into the room and heard the song, which I think was ‘Babooshka’. She explained that her mum was a big Kate Bush fan and played loads of her music when she was growing up, but personally she could never stand her voice. I was like, how could someone who grew up listening to Kate Bush not fall in love with her? By this point I’d already realised me and this girl didn’t really have very much in common, but slagging off Kate Bush was probably the final straw. We only hung out one or two more times after that.” The one who liked dadrock Callum, Staines: “He was a Rufus Wainwright stan” “When I was at uni I dated a guy who was very dashing but kept saying he “wasn’t into gay music” – by which he meant anything that was “too pop”. I tried to convert him with some success – I know he liked coming to a Robyn gig with me during her ‘With Every Heartbeat’ era. But his love of Rufus Wainwright and all manner of dad rock pretty much sealed his fate. Well, that added to his tendency to slag off Girls Aloud whenever possible. At his core he was a Rufus Wainwright stan and that became exhausting for me – by the end it just wasn’t worth the sex.” The one who didn’t become a goth Jasmin, London: “I still feel sad about what happened. I actually really like Mariah Carey” “We’d been best friends all through primary school, and had a shared love of Kylie and Sonia thanks to daily after-school discos on our Fisher Price tape decks. But when I got into the local grammar school we were separated and I went down a dark path of being a wannabe goth. We stayed BFFs for a couple of years but our shifting musical tastes just proved too much for our friendship to cope with. She got massively into Mariah Carey, but I started listening to Nirvana and Hole and any old generic grunge music. I think it really highlighted how far we’d grown apart and really, it was more than our relationship could take. I still feel sad about what happened, especially as I actually really like Mariah Carey!” The one who hated Belle & Sebastian James, London: “I still hate Belle & Sebastian to this day” “I once went back to someone’s after a date. And this was the date – you know, the date before we spent the rest of our lives at organic farmers’ markets together. As he leaned in, I said, ‘Actually, could you change the radio? I really like you and that’s Belle & Sebastian and I know it sounds weird but I really, really hate Belle & Sebastian.’ He just froze and said: ‘They’re my favourite band.’ Not unreasonably, he then threw me out. It was mad, really, but I remember thinking at the time, ‘He’s going to kiss me and we’re going to be together forever and I don’t want my memory of this magical moment to be the fucking boy with the fucking Arab strap.’ I still hate Belle & Sebastian to this day.   Source link