#I was trying to farm for venti and you gave me

[lord-of-fruit]

when you’re finally farming to domain the get the healing artifacts rather than the anemo ones but now you’re getting all of the anemo attack artifacts

[genshin-impact-fics]

Streamer!Genshin Meeting Character!(Y/n) for the First Time

Characters: Scaramouche, Childe, Albedo, Kaeya, Venti

Scaramouche:

His viewers were constantly requesting that he play this game that’s been out for a little while now that was called Genshin Impact. So he finally gave in to see what all the talk was about

Getting through the tutorial and the first part of the chapter felt so long; visually it was beautiful as the story was pretty decent so far.

It wasn’t until he got to Liyue in the archon quest that things seemed to pick up for him. The character who saved him from almost getting arrested kind of irked him; it reminded him of his one roommate who was a rich kid type.

It wasn’t till the release of the event Unreconciled Stars that once again many of his followers flooded his messages telling him he needed to play the event during his streams so they could see his reaction to meeting a new character.

Curiosity peaked after hearing a bit that the character would be an electro catalyst. Which he started to play it instead of holding off for a few days; honestly he really wasn’t expecting much

It was until he finally saw you appear; he was a bit surprised as you weren’t exactly how he pictured you yet you looked cute but in a cool way? A little more of the interaction he’s a little on the fence on how he feels about you but he was interested in where this event was going, there was something just a little bit… off

Progressing he was a little bit bummed since he thought there would have been a bit more interaction with you. That was until he was back in Mondstadt with Mona who was helping solve this mystery when pleasantly surprised that you’ve showed up. Until Mona seemed to have some sort of revelation that caused her to teleport them all out of there

Needless to say he wasn’t happy that he was taken away from seeing you. “Excuse me you bring me back,” was his initial reaction but continued to watch when it was more clear that you were there to kill him. You were that other harbinger; number six of the fatui harbingers and the moment you snapped at one of the agents, you had instantly become one of his absolute favorites.

Childe:

Though his viewers have been requesting to play the soon released game Genshin Impact he has actually been long awaiting for this game.

To celebrate the release it was going to be a long stream as he’s stocked up on water and energy drinks and snacks. He’s definitely planning to do a giveaway for his viewers (though he won’t bring it up until he finally unlocks the wishing feature)

He enjoyed the plot so far as the conflict with Dvalin has been resolved but now the ameno archon’s gnosis was stolen by some woman who appeared out of nowhere. Soon to learn about the fatui group and their eleven harbingers

Off to Liyue at long last! There’s been chatter of one character that shows up fairly early in the quest and he is very curious to encounter whoever this character was

He was finally at the part where Rex Lapis came crashing down from the sky dead and now was sneaking to get to the exit. Definitely took him a couple of times and in the process of it all he was certainly singing the whole “Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious” song

Finally getting the cutscene where his character gets chased after unfortunately making sound. When things looked like it was going to turn into a fight he was surprised when hearing a new voice say “I got this one sweetie”. His mouth has dropped in pure awe of watching your character flip from above appearing out of thin air as you handled the Millelith with ease

Hearing you say follow me he had such a grin on his face; “Don’t gotta ask me twice I’ll follow you anywhere”. Of course his viewers in chat were raving and just spamming the laughing emote as the cutscene continued in a safe place

Looking at your character model admiring you as the reveal that you were a part of the harbingers but seemed to be rather friendly. “You guys I’m in love. (Y/n) better be a playable character at some point… I’ll be sad if I don’t get to travel the world with them” he says as when he finds out you're rich his initial thought was “So are they going to spoil me or do I get to spoil them? Cuz I really want it to be the second one” He hadn’t known you for long but he already wants to give you the world

Venti:

He was mainly known for his streams where he’ll sing or perform some of the instruments he enjoys and many of the games he’d play were a lot of rhythm games or one of the hilarious simulator games; so for him to pick up Genshin Impact it’s a little outside of the typical games he’ll usually play

He really loves the music so far, if the music wasn’t to his liking he’d probably drop it. Will probably take a moment to just listen to it and talk about what possible instruments used to compose it

After running around the world and looking for chests and whatever materials he saw along the way. He suddenly saw the big dragon fly over head and now making his way to the whispering woods to look for the feathered looking dragon

The cut scene started and there was the dragon on a rock but then he saw you; he doesn’t know anything about you but having seen you in some of the images that the company released he’s been interested in your character!

During your moment with your old friend had was making this face 🥺 but then that was when the snapping sound echoed causing the dragon to freak out and leave in a gust of wind. “Noooo I’m so sorry” he’s shouting at the screen when he watched the expression on your face turn sad before you seemed to just vanish

Has been bummed out since he hadn’t seen your character in a while until he saw you running with a lyre in your hand, he only fell in more love with you as he was running around with you trying to get the holy lyre from the church

Albedo:

It had been a while since more of the story was out but of course he’d play to do his commissions and gather materials he needed, but when his viewers showed him the announcement of the newest section of the map will be released; oh there was a new temperature mechanic that if it was too cold that his characters could freeze to death

Generally that would be fine… but he enjoys stopping and admiring the scenery which he easily gets distracted so he’s probably going to keep forgetting to stand by fire a lot

But the best part of all: they were introducing you, the chief alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. The one that was talked about by so many characters in their voice lines he finally was going to get a face to the name

He was already not liking that the so called ‘nun’ was insinuating that you weren’t trustworthy; the AUDACITY! Sure he hadn’t known your character long but he will defend you wholeheartedly, you have this charismatic to you that he’s just smitten

“If one day, I lose control… Destroy Mondstadt… Destroy everything… Can I rely on you to stop me?” After hearing that last line he needs a minute to take a double take to make sure he heard that correctly. “I swear if this is some sort of indication of something bad happening and I have to fight (y/n) I will not be happy,” he’s saying of course looking to his camera

Kaeya:

So many of his viewers were requesting that he play Genshin Impact as of course it would be a little different from the games he’s played in the past (Ya can’t tell me he wouldn’t have played Huniepop and doki doki literature club), but the idea of attractive characters in the game? He’s sold as the few characters he saw pictures of it seemed promising.

So he starts streaming it and all is going smoothly so far… Until it was time to learn about gliding right before Stormterror attacks and the mini flying fight happened

Once the cutscene starts he’s watching leaning back in his chair a bit until a clapping sound starts and that’s when everyone in chat was losing it and spamming the heart eyes emotes. Seeing you come into the shot he’s got a small little smirk; you were hot. He only seemed to love your character even more after hearing that you were the cavalry captain

When it came time to do your trail quest (which of course was the first one he went to do) he’s very much looking at your design and admiring your charming features. He asks his viewers if he leaves the domain if he gets to keep you or if you were one of the five stars that he’d have to wish for, spoilers don’t really bother him if he really wants to know what happens.

Seeing your summon art once he left he’s ecstatic that you will be forever in his team and once he’s able to he’s going farming so he can build you up

[honey-milk-depresso]

That Flower Shop in Mondstadt (Various Mondstadt Characters)

“Oh! Mr. Diluc!” Diluc comes to your flower boutique every morning to pick up new flowers to replace to freshen up his winery which was just next door to your boutique. You always wonder why such a wealthy man would wanna buy flowers from your plain, humble shop. He had all the money in the world to buy much more beautiful flowers from much more famous and luxurious flower boutiques, so why buy here? Well, you weren’t one to question him, and you didn’t mind him.

“Good morning,” he simply stated as he went back to looking at the flowers.

“Those windwheel asters....did they come in yesterday?”

“Yeah! My family is constantly harvesting flowers, and I’m trying my best to help them!”

Your family run a farm all the way back in Liyue where they not just sell flowers, but fruits and vegetables too. 

“Are you perhaps preparing for the Windblume Festival to take place? You sure have a loaded amount of it, as well as cecilias.”

“Well, I told them that and asked if they can import more of those flowers to, you know..”

“Economics.”

You giggled at his statement.

Your shop was at hot topic during the Windblume Festival. Not only were your flowers good quality, but they were cheap too, something you prided over your shop.

“Anyways, I would like to buy these windwheel asters.”

“Alright!”

After paying for his flowers, you greeted him.

“Hope you have a nice Windblume Festival, Diluc!”

It wasn’t visible, but his face was printed with a small smile on his delicate features.

“You too.”

=================================

“Good afternoon, y/n!”

“Hi, y/n!”

“Jean! Barbara! Welcome!”

Jean and Barbara, the two beautiful sisters, would always come here to visit your boutique to check out new flowers and, of course check up on their best friend, you. Always in the early afternoon.

“So, y/n. What tea have you brewed today?”

“Some osmanthus tea.”

Your family love delivering herbs to you, just so you won’t miss the taste of home. You found that really sweet, and also a great opportunity to share this earthy tea to others not from Liyue.

“Ooh! Nice!”

You poured the tea into three teacups as the smell of the osmanthus tea wafted through the air which helped calm the atmosphere of the tranquil boutique.

“One for you and one for you.”

“Thanks y/n!”

“Thank you very much, y/n.”

“Hope you have a wonderful Windblume Festival!”

“You too!”

“Yeah!”

You three giggled.

“Cheers!”

=================================

“See you got super excited over the Windblume decorations of your store, y/n!”

“Yes, hello Venti.”

The bard would come to your boutique randomly, but always in the afternoon. He likes coming to your boutique to talk about many things and he even offered to play some music for some “boutique jazz” is what he liked to call.

“Say, I like those turquoise and gold banners you have this year!”

“You don’t say?”

“Mhm! Anyways, do you still have some of that, ahem, osmanthus wine of yours your family is also well known for?~” he raised his eyebrows with that, oh so, suggestive smirk. He might be cute, but he was very much a mischievous bard.

“Yes, yes, I do,” you smiled and rolled your eyes, taking out the auburn bottle with a yellow gold and white label on it.

“Ahahahaha! Wonderful! As thanks, I’d like to invite you to be one of my pupils!”

Oh, you know this. He always does it every Windblume Festival where he would get people and teach people on how to write a good poem. Looks like you made pre-payment for a class you haven’t attend yet.

“Oh, no, I really shouldn’t! Ahehe...”

“Oh where’s the fun, y/n? It’ll be way more fun than last year! Promise!”

You sighed. That’s what he said every year. But you couldn’t resist thos adorable puppy eyes he was giving you. Ah, he’s lucky he’s cute.

“Alright, fine.”

“That’s the spirit, y/n! Meet you at five in the evening! Have a wonderful Windblume Festival!”

=================================

“Albedo.”

“Y/n”

Albedo came here to buy your flowers and use them for experiements.

Sometimes he came with Sucrose but it looks like today he came alone.

“Any flowers you would like to buy?”

“Hmmm, yes. Those qinxings and wolfhooks over there.”

“Alright.”

As he finished paying, he asked you, “So, y/n. Have any plans for today’s Windblume Festival?”

“Oh, eh, yeah. Just recently. Venti asked me to participate in his poetry class,” you sighed.

He simply chuckled. “Well, that’s nice.”

He gave you an amber stone, on it, or more like inside it, was a cecilia.

“I was experimenting with minerals and in the process I made this. I found it quite beautiful, so I thought maybe I should give it to you for the Windblume Festival.”

You smiled softly. “Yeah, it really is beautiful. Thank you so much, Albedo!”

“You too!”

“Oh yeah, tell Sucrose I said hi!”

=================================

“K-Kaeya??”

“Why if it isn’t the Lady Silk Flower herself, y/n!”

“Please stop calling me that...”

Kaeya was that flirtatious knight, as well as Diluc’s brother. He would always be at Diluc’s winery to drink together with Venti and Rosaria. He’s not really there to buy flowers, more so of your osmanthus wine you sold, but he’s not really a regular customer, nor was he a rare visitor. Usually in the evening. But as charming as he is, why did he want to learn poetry when he’s a natural at being a poetic and constructive flirter?

“Well, Venti, what do you say?”

“Deal!”

You groaned internally. Great, now there’s homework.

“So, Silk Flower, what are you going to be writing about?” Kaeya asked as he gave you a playful smirk.

As much as this guy was pulling at your nerves, you couldn’t help but swoon internally of how fine he looks. That damn knight.

“Love,” you said as your facial features remain stoic.

“Ahahaha! Oh you!”

There was a comfortable silence between the both of you.

“Why not tomorrow at seven in the evening I invite you over to the Dawn Winery? Hm?~ Don’t worry, the drinks are on me.”

“I don’t really drink, but, if you want, I can bring a bottle of my family’s osmanthus wine?” you offered.

He simply let out a soft chuckle before he used his hand and gently grab your chin and tilted you up to face him.

“I just want you, though.~”

You blushed a crimson red before you pushed him away. “Oh shush! You want my wine or not?!”

“Of course , of course!” he laughed

Geez.

=================================

“Hm?”

“Surprise!”

Dawn Winery was filled with all the familiar faces. From Diluc to Sucrose and even Albedo was there, smiling.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s a thank you party of course!”

“Thank you party?”

“Yes,” now Diluc got your attention, “Before Windblume, I saw you working day in and out to import and export flowers, and of course your family wine. We just wanted to thank you and that we appreciate your hard work, y/n. You’re flowers and presence really freshen and lighten our day.”

“Mhm! Now come sit down and be merry with us, y/n!” Venti exclaimed with that drunk smile of his.

“You-you guys...you really didn’t have to do this.”

“Of course we had to, y/n,” Jean smiled warmly.

Barbara nodded. “Yeah! You deserve it!”

Albedo simply nodded.

“But-”

Diluc cut you off as he pat your head to which you instantly shut up and looked at him with a slightly red face.

“Yes. Yes you do, y/n. Now, let us enjoy this moment together. All of us.”

Now he really smiled.

[dendro-bunny]

Digital Flowers

Time skip!Kenma Kozume x FEM!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: [Fist time for everything] It's been a hot while since you and Kenma got to talk face to face due to work. He takes it upon himself to give you a great date even when far away.

Warnings:

(a/n): low-key can't get blue period out of my head so I don't wanna start spamming that kinda content and write for other characters before I go on a writing binge for Yotora... *Does venti laugh*

The clock on your phone read 2:39 am. You should have been asleep in bed, however a certain pudding head was up streaming and this was the only way you had to communicate with him till his breaks. However there was something special about this stream, you were in it, The discord call read almost 12 hours. You wanted to help with the 48 hour charity stream. this was the second day of the stream and you decided to join in the last quarter to give him some motivation.

Your character runs past his with a baguette in hand. "HON HON HON IM GONNA WHIP THIS DOUGHHHH!" Sleep deprivation was getting to the both of you.

The joyful sounds of his laughter blesses your ears as Kenma brings his farming to a stop. "P-pudding! Why did you- hahahaha why did you spend all of our money on-" he gasps for air. "God dang strawberries and bread?!"

You cover your face as you laugh loudly going quiet. "Pudding?"

A snort breaks though the silence and Kenma laughs even harder. The chat is absolutely loving it. The donation goal was hit a long time ago but of course Kenma promised this.

HatterBatter26: Omg such couple goals!

Everything Girlboss: WHY CAN'T THOS BE ME AND MY INVISIBLE BF!!

Kodzukeeeeeee: I've never heard @(y/t) and Kodzuken Laugh like that before

MadderCadder: Tubucas

"WHY DID SOMEONE IN THE CHAT SAY TUBUCAS?! WHAT IS TUBUCAS!" Just as either of you think you've calmed down you just start back up in the laughing fits. After a while though things do calm down. You hear kenma's phone buzz loudly on your headphones.

"Excuse me! I didn't know you had bees Kenny! With all that gosh darn buzzing!" You lost what you were going to say half way through that sentence but just kept talking.

"It was Kuroo, He told me your surprise was ready." You can hear the soft smile he gave and also see it on your second monitor. Yeah you also game and stream but you are currently on tour all over Japan. Right now in Osaka you were luck enough to be graced with access to a pretty powerful computer thanks to an old friend of yours.

"Surprise? What for?" You head tilts as you look at the face cam for the highlights, you are also recording game footage.

"Well as your viewers and mine know... You are away traveling around Japan.. on tour for about a month... And though it's ending soon in 2 week.. I uh.. don't think I can wait to take you on, on on, on a date so uh... Uhm... Wanna get off Stardew and get on my Minecraft server?" The chat explodes, Kenma's twitter is already blowing up with a clip of him blushing while stuttering to ask you on a date.

"Awe kyama~ I would love to go on a Minecraft date with you~" He can hear you claps your hands and hear you smile as you talk. A small smile slips it's way onto his lips as he switches the stream to an intervention screen and face cam.

"why do you have to call me that... Ugh it reminds me of the guys..." He sighs obviously ticked off at the thought of Yamamoto Screaming that at him while jumping on him. Soft giggles fill his ears... Oh how he wishes you were actually with him. So he can hold you and hear that in his left ear as you try to break out of his hold while he tickles you.

"Ahhh spawn is decorated! It's like an Smp! Oh god I'm getting flashbacks of the war...s." He laughs that uncommon soft laugh only you get to hear... And now 678k people get to hear for tonight only.

"War...s? How many prank wars have you been in pudding?" He turns is character towards you. When you slowly turn to face him and say nothing he loses it.

Loud music plays through both of y'all's headphones.

"Ah! God! My ears!" Kenma presses the head phones closer to his head while you hold yours over your ears.

"Heh?! What'd you say!?" Your eyes and nose scrunches as you (fake) shout through the mic.

"Someone just Subscribed for their 3rd year in a row... Bro... I'm old now huh?" He shakes his head and continues on.

"Anyway though, this date... Welcome... I actually hired a professional builder who is one of my admins... Adikons the tech Wizard... Who is also an amazing builder and well you'll see what I asked them to do." You look your screen in awe as he breaks some wool that acted as a curtain to the world.

"oh... My... Kenny... Wh- this couldn't have just happened... And wait why did Kuroo tell you it's ready when-" You try to wrap your brain around the beautiful scenery. The both of you use the same shaders and texture pack, you found the shaders and he found the texture pack. The way the light cast off of the building and onto the water. The way the big trees and their leaves sway were mesmerizing.

"Well you'll see in a second uhm... Yk Kuroo is good at redstone and stuff... Somehow..." He throws shade to his friend knowing that he would have complaints later when he sees the clips on YouTube.

"Yeah? Oh my god don't tell me that's what he had been doing for a couple of days!" You look over at him while you walk over a bridge to a small little cafe area.

"Well he isn't the only one who did something on the server." God why does his chest feel so tight all of a sudden.

Ok calm down Kenma just do as planned and everything will go smoothly... Hopefully...

"IS THAT MUFFIN! MY KITTY!" You awe and immediately start doing baby talk to the look alike of your kitten back home. What you don't hear is Kenma trying to explain why she is there.

"I should have killed it will all the others... You're not paying attention to anything I'm saying anymore..." There is an evident pout on Kenma's face.

"NO DON'T KILL HERRR! I'll listen I'm sorry! YouknowIlove.... You.... Morethanmycat!" You rush your sentence making it even less believable. So much so where Kenma slowly turns towards you like you did to him earlier and pulls out a netherite sword.

"KENMA I SWEAR I DO!" You crouch up to him and push your character against his repeatedly making kissy sounds.

Chat explodes with "Don't kill her please 🥺", and Things along the lines of "I want kissies from @(y/t)", and "DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN CAT!" It's an inside joke you have with your chat.

"hehe ok.. ok.. I won't kill her but we have a lot of things to explore...." You hear his keyboard typing as I'm chat appears 'PULL THE LEVER KRONK' just like that.

Suddenly the floor underneath you disappears and now you are falling.

"HOLY! OH GOD! WE'RE FALLING!" You look around and on your way down you can see how beautifully decorated the way down is

"Well I mean, I fell for you so..." The blush is evident on his face. Silently he is typing to Kuroo and Bokuto cursing them out for making him say that. However what he doesn't see is that you're wide eyed staring at his character blushing.

"i- uh- ANYWAY WHAT'S THIS WAY HAHAHAHAHA!" Nervous laughter funnels out of your mouth as you run away.

I will make a part 2 cause this is too long and my brain juices are over. This was supposed to be for new years.

... it's 3 days after and I started 2 days before new years 😃

[definitelynotsuzumi]

Zapped to Another World

Genshin Impact x Fem!Reader

I wrote this in my spare time when I was working back in November and thought that I should share this ^-^ 

Depending on the comments/notes and if I have spare time, I may be updating this. 

[Masterlist]

The rain poured down your umbrella. The clouds coloured the sky a dark grey as you ran for the bus. You sighed as you reached the traffic light. Yup, you were definitely not going to be able to catch it now.

School had ended for the year, which meant more free time for you and the new game you had recently gotten into. Genshin Impact.

You could not help but smile at the thought of it. With school out of the picture, you could finally focus on the game completely. There was so many things to do. Farming for artifacts, completing your daily commissions…

You sloshed your way over as the lights turned green. While you love that school is out, you honestly hated the wet weather that came with the winter break and the feeling of wet socks on your feet. After safely crossing the road, you winced as a white truck rushed by, soaking your clothes through as the giant puddle you have been trying to avoid poured onto your skirt and legs.

You let out a sigh as you quickly took shelter under a tree nearby to try and wring out the remaining water when it happened.

“Just my luck…”You muttered as you clumsily balanced your umbrella, “Can it get any worse?”

Just as those words left your lips, it happened. A white flash lit the sky for a brief second. But it was too late. Thousands of volts came cascading upon your body and everything turned white.

“This is your fault.” You heard a voice. It sounded like a young, sulky boy.

“How is this my fault? You’re the one who lashed out when I put down that +4 card down.”

“THAT AIN’T FAIR STILL! I WAS SO CLOSE TO WINNING AND YOU BLEW IT!”

“Uh…What’s going on?” You blinked as your vision settled. You sat in what looked like a library of sorts, with several shelves lining the walls and a long white and gold marble table in the centre of it all. A girl with long, platinum hair glared down at her male counterpart, who huffed in annoyance.

“How about you explain it to her, Artem.”

“Sorry, but I don’t speak to cheaters.”

“Oh for gods sake- fine. We apologize for uhm…Killing you. Truly, a thousand apologies. If only someone can control their temper for once in their life-“ The girl shot a dirty look at Artem.

“LIKE YOU ARE ONE TO TALK! SOLARIA, YOU SINGED MY EYEBROWS OVER KILLING YOU IN AMONG US!”

“Well excuse you! My anger was perfectly justified! You voted me out even when I told you the truth and that I was innocent!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO EMBROIDER AND GROOM THEM BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN?”

“Could you guys please stop fighting for 10 seconds?” You yelled over the noise. The girl and boy finally stopped, leaving you to rub at your ringing ears.

You sighed. Kids were always a handful back in your home. You had to take care of your cousins whenever your aunt was over, and it often resulted with your ears ringing and your head pounding.

“What’s done is done. I’m…well, dead and I seriously have no idea where I am.” You said, trying to stay composed.

“Well…In your human terms, this is kind of like the After Life.” The boy, Artem explained, sighing as he put down his Uno cards.

“Or well, it shouldn’t since…You were supposed to live for like, another 50 to 60 years. But someone messed it up.” The girl, Solaria, summoned a book from a shelf. You blinked as a weathered leather book with gilded, golden pages floated down onto the table.

“Shut up. I said that I was sorry, didn’t I?” Artem groaned.

“Sir Artem, are you losing your braincells? I was the one who apologized. You still owe the human an apology.” Solaria bit back icily.  

With a wave of her hand, the pages of the book flipped and she studied it carefully for a minute before looking back up.

“Well, as a soul now, you have an option. You can go into Elysium or be reincarnated.” Solaria sighed as Artem huffed again.

“Huh. What do you know? Elysium sounds real good right about now-“You thought out loud as Artem’s eyes turned wide with fear.

“Please don’t go into Elysium!” Artem yelled. The books shook in the shelves as his voice echoed.

“Ow, inside voice please? Hasn’t your mother taught you better?” You winced in pain. It seems that immortals had a throat of steel, judging from the way they could shout infinitely.

“I’m really sorry, but if Dad finds out I brought in another human because I accidentally killed them…He’s going to banish me…To Earth…” Artem looked down onto the table.

He was unable to meet your eyes as you stared at him with bemusement.

“Yeah, as much as I hate to say it, please…Reconsider on our offer to reincarnate. He is on thin ice with Father and if he is banished, I’d have to take on his duties as well. I’m pretty exhausted with the workload as it is.” Solaria sighed.

“As long as it’s not Earth, I’m cool with it.” You looked up at the ceiling, which took your breath away. The entire solar system was on it. With it, was the familiar sphere of white, green and blue.

“Hm, that is easy enough. I could reincarnate you into my world.” Artem brightened up.

Solaria sighed with relief.

“And to make up for it, I could buff you up with a couple of blessings here and there-“

“Within reason.” Solaria cut in, with a sharp look at Artem.

“Psssh, as if it’s hard to make a Gnosis.” Artem had considerably relaxed after hearing your statement.

“Are you serious? Don’t you even know the situation down at Teyvat?!” Your eyes widened. Were they talking about what you were thinking of?

Artem rose to his feet, the ivory wings on his lower back flaring. His eyes gleamed gold as he stared down his sister.

“It’s my world. I do what I like with it. If you don’t like it, get a world of your own.”

“You only got your world because Mother took pity on you. Don’t act all big when you have killed so many humans.”  Solaria hummed, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll only grant this human the bare minimum. Anything more, and I’ll let Father know of your deeds thus far, even if it means more work for me.” Solaria glared back. Her eyes gleamed silver as she did so. You felt a shiver run down your spine. 

“That’s all that I’ll need then. Work on your blessings and gifts. I’ll work on mine.” Artem turned away from his sister. The siblings set to work, the atmosphere of ice cold professionalism now in the air.

Solaria rose from her place on the table. With a flick of a finger, the Uno cards vanished with a burst of gold sparkles. The leather book floated beside her as she constantly referred to its pages while flying around the room.

“Hmm…Not much of a combatant, I see. Polearms and swords will probably be hard for you. Perhaps…A catalyst?” She pulled out a bright blue book adorned in gold, with feathers sticking out.

Blowing off any dust from the beautiful book, she casually tossed it over her shoulder and onto you. You instinctively brought your arms up to protect your face but as the book hit your arms, it disappeared into a burst of gold.

“Huh?” You blinked as you saw the book reappear beside you, its pages flipping.

Solaria returned with a satchel and a bag of gold coins. Looking satisfied as she noticed the book beside you, she inserted the bag of coins into the satchel before sliding it over your shoulder. Solaria hummed to herself before smiling again.

Reaching behind her neck, Solaria detached a shimmering teardrop necklace before slipping it around yours.

“There’s nothing special about it, apart from it glowing. I thought it would be a nice touch.” Solaria winked at you. 

Tilting your chin up, you froze with shock as she pressed her lips against yours.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” You felt heat rush to your cheeks.

“Oh, please. Don’t be flustered. That was merely a blessing of mine. It will help you when you need to speak with the natives of the land.” Solaria coolly said as she wiped her mouth.  

You were still reeling in shock. Your throat seemed to tighten as you coughed. 

“..Thank you, for agreeing with us on our selfish request. To be forcibly stripped of our powers can be the worst pain and humiliation a god or goddess can bear.” Solaria murmured to you as she hurried to the end of the room, where she knelt and seemed to draw symbols in gold.

You held back your tongue. ‘What about me? I got zapped to death here.’ You thought to yourself.

“It is done. Please step into that summoning circle there.” Artem held a floating, golden cylinder in his hands. Solaria rose from her place on the floor, gesturing for you to come over.

It was a Gnosis! You were quick to obey as you hurried to Solaria’s side.

Stepping into the centre, you turned to face Artem and Solaria, who stood side by side. They flared their wings as you sensed an energy swirl around you.

“I, Artem, God of the Moon, grant you passage and dominion over my world, Teyvat. Do you accept, (Y/N) (L/N)?” Artem’s voice echoed in your ears.

“I accept.” As the words left your lips, the Gnosis within his hands flew into your chest. You gasped as it did so, a heat spreading rapidly across your chest.

“Be safe on your travels, (Y/N) (L/N).” Solaria flashed a warm smile as you coughed.

“Resigno!”

The gold summoning circle glowed bright blue and you found yourself falling through the blue skies.

You screeched ungracefully as you fell from the sky headfirst. The green grass was coming up way too fast. 

‘Am I going to die again?’ You thought as you held out your arms to break your fall, only for a huge gust of wind to cushion your fall. 

“Huh?” You blinked in surprise as a person clad in green floated beside you. 

It was a young boy with 2 braids, which gleamed blue in the light. His eyes were a beautiful mix of green and blue. 

‘Venti?’ You gaped as he grabbed your hands and guided you back onto the ground. 

“Never thought I’d have an audience during my practice session. Are you okay?” Venti grinned at you. 

“Never...Never better. Thank you...”You gave a thumbs up as you got air back into your lungs again. 

His deft fingers plucked at his harp as he sat down on the soft grass. 

“It’s no problem. But what brings you here anyways? Not many people know of this spot.” Venti tilted his head. It seemed as though you uncovered his secret place. 

“I- uh well...Accidents happen. I’m not a mad fan or a stalker, I swear. Well, maybe I am a fan but still.” You rambled but you forced yourself to stop talking and to breath. Venti is real and he is in front of me. Venti is real and he is in front of me. 

Your heart was beating fast. 

‘I should say something smart, introduce myself or something.’ You thought to yourself as you composed yourself. 

You wanted to at least tell him your name but the words are out faster than you can stop them. 

“Wanna grab a drink?”  

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

BNHA characters and their genshin experiences

I've been way into genshin for the past couple months, if anyone wants to play with me message me (I'm lvl 45 rn) but be warned I have shitty internet and am a partial razor main

but this is mainly characters I can see actually putting time into genshin

Bakugou

Mains: Yanfei

his main has probably been most every pyro character at some point

he wants diluc so bad, whenever someone else complains that diluc ruined their pity he wants to ruin their existence

before yanfei his main was probably hu Tao

hed definitely play klee if he had her lmao but he doesnt and is patiently waiting for her rerun

he has a lot of 5 star characters and is f2p, he can always get banner characters within at least the first pity, but for standard 5 stars hes gotten keqing and qiqi way too many times and hes livid

especially as a previous hu tao main, he was begging for Jean, still has yet to come home

hes probably a very high level, not fully maxed out considering he hasnt been playing all that long, he was probably forced to start when the rest of the bakusquad started playing it and he just took off

has really shitty artifact luck though, like his characters arent bad or anything but they could be so, so much better

and ugh hes livid

explores everything, has 100% exploration everywhere, but hes not bored hes still got artifact farming to do and he enjoys terrorizing enemies

in co op he will set you and everything around you on fire. cope.

Todoroki

Mains: Xiao or Ganyu

probably only started playing because Izuku asked him to

kaeya has also been on his team since day 1 and he is never leaving doesnt matter his friendship has been level 10 for weeks now who cares

was f2p until xiao, who didnt want to come home at all, and he finally got him on his 180th pull

now he doesnt care and will buy primogems whenever hes bored

he has a lot of constellations on kaeya and hes so proud of that, probably c4, is considering buying way too many primogems just so that he can hopefully get his c6

now his artifact luck is godly, you'll go into a domain with him and be like ugh I got nothing and hes like I got a 4 piece set with all attack or crit rate/damage main stats like haha I hate you

but yeah his characters are very strong cause of this, but he doesnt put effort into building a lot of them, he only levels up and gives good artifacts to his team and a couple other characters he likes but everyone else just sits there for a while

hes not super obsessed with the game, but he does think its funny seeing bakugou get so upset whenever they do domains together

doesnt even bother doing daily tasks really unless hes trying to save primogems

Midoriya

Mains: Venti

hes so good at building characters, like he looks up builds online and watches those "do INSANE damage with these tips" videos - and he sets out to get them done and he does

bakugou is once again livid whenever they play together, because Izuku barely has to try and can do so much more damage than him

he does have to put in a lot of work for his artifacts though because he doesnt settle for the okay ones he needs the absolute best

he builds his favorite characters the most ofc, but he evenly distributes things to other characters he knows can be useful- those characters might not have insane stats but they're still good

will not kill timmies pigeons, hell hunt birds in the wild for fun though

definitely a food hoarder

also does a lot of exploring and probably has at least 90% for each area

Kaminari

Mains: Lisa

he is 1000% in love with Lisa, he took her quest very seriously

and so many people say shes horrible, he hates it, hes made her crazy strong out of spite

his team consists of only his wifus- meaning lisa, beidou, rosaria, and mona

for a long time beidou was his second but then rosaria came along and hes like ugh big tiddy goth gf, but lisa still remains queen

these are the only characters hes built though, save for a couple like probably razor and xiangling that he used before he fully got this team

is an ayaka saver

he doesnt care too much about most 5 stars but will sometimes get them just to say he has them, but they end up just sitting there rotting away because he never puts work into them

he does have hu tao though and would get ganyu if she ever had a rerun

Kirishima

Mains: Diluc Razor or Beidou

they're all on his team, the last person switches out but it's most likely zhongli or childe

hes all about dps, support who, he just wants to hit hard and do insane damage , so yes he made dps zhongli

except his builds arent that great, with some help his builds are decent, but on his own hell be like ugh that's some sexy 300 damage

probably didnt know what 90% of the stats even meant and just put random attack ones on people and went yeah that looks good

doesnt really care though and is just having fun so hell play how he wants (as he should) but he does have to ask for help when farming bosses

loves exploring but misses so much, hell get distracted easily and end up just messing around

honestly probably hasnt bothered to ascend his world since he got to level 35, if he did the quest hed probably go straight to 45 and even then hed still have extra exp because hes been there for so long oml

but eventually he would have to and hed be trying to do it like :,) this is fine and it takes him a lot of tries but he gets there eventually,,, only to immediately have another one waiting for him poor baby

Mina

Mains: Klee or Xiangling

thinks baizhu is hot (and is correct) so shes desperately waiting for him

was a I must play 24/7 player until after the last story quest, then she got kinda bored but still plays frequently so she can save primogems and likes playing co op

goes into random peoples worlds a lot

shes got some pretty strong characters and is proud of her account

definitely makes tiktoks of her playing with the bakusquad cause it's always v chaotic (it's probably only denki and kirishima most of the time, but sometimes either bakugou or sero will join in)

does all the genshin tiktok trends

shes a pretty high level since shes probably been playing for a while and has most everything done

she loves helping lower level people though she thinks it's so cute and loves the power she feels when she one shots things

Sero

Mains: Xingqui

hes a pretty casual player, kinda only plays when hes bored or the others make him play with them

but his stats arent too bad, they're fairly average but he gets by

has so many primogems because he doesnt bother to wish on anyone, probably wants kazuha though

he does get super invested into the story though, hes so curious about the world and where the story is gonna lead

probably watches a lot of genshin theory videos and now he over thinks everything in the game

he explores a lot, not so much to find every single thing but more so just because he likes looking at everything, hes very excited for all the new places

Shinsou

Mains: Childe

hes a very thorough player, he explores a lot and puts a lot of work into building his characters

most of them arent all that great but he has plans to fix them

his main team is very well built, not the best, but still good

he struggles when he has to switch someone out for a domain or something because his other characters are so painfully mediocre right now and he feels so bad

shinsou, playing a character that can do like max 200 physical damage and biggest damage is like 2 thousand, repeatedly saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you deserve so much better, I'm so sorry

even if it's not the worst damage by far, he feels bad about anything under his main team's stats because they're just so much higher

broke. has no primogems. spent them all on childe and his constellations. does he regret it? well he sure does appreciate his c6 so- hell manage

yes he spent real money on his stupid mass murderer who he loves very much

fights childe every day even though he already collected the treasure, he is but a humble simp

probably decently lucky with wishing like he can beat the 50/50 almost every time

Tamaki

Mains: Chongyun and Sucrose

he only started playing recently, probably kirishima got him into it, but he immediately fell in love

kirishima was like tell me when you're level 16 so we can play together !!! and 2 days later tamaki was level 16 and kiri was shook because how the hell did he do it so fast

hates domains, the dread he feels when he realizes the lower level isnt going to give him anything anymore, and he has to move up to the next, and the next,,

asks kirishima to help him only to realize he isnt much help, is too nice to say that so he let's kiri keep trying- one day kiri gets deku to play with the two of them and tamaki almost cries because finally he can get through the level 90 domain and actually get things ugh

cannot get xingqui to save his life he refuses to come home and poor tamaki is so sad he wants him a lot hes even got all his materials saved up

Monoma

Mains: Ningguang

honestly doesnt play all that much but takes pride in making his account seem v good, is a whale

but hes very good at the game, didnt know what the artifacts were for at first and gave people ones based on how they looked but once he figured it out hes fixed them

is a very standard player, logs in every day to do his commissions and use his resin then logs out, he doesnt put too much time into the game and doesnt worry if he misses a day or two

worships ningguang, also really likes xinyan, his other team members are probably venti and albedo

has every single banner 5 star that has come out since he started playing, probably doesnt have klee though and is v upset about it, and is thanking the heavens for all the reruns lately

also doesnt have keqing and wants her a lot cause he likes her

accepts every single co op request he gets, and despite what a lot may think hes actually a very nice person to play with, not toxic at all - unless you're someone he knows then he might be mean to you shshshsh

Shigaraki

Mains: Razor

haha isnt it so odd that they sound so similar haha (if you dont know they have the same japanese va and I'm guessing hed play it in Japanese)

obviously he can be kinda busy ya know being a criminal and all that but when hes not he puts a lot of time into genshin

sadly doesnt have very good luck when it comes to characters or artifacts, but hes doing his best even with 0 primogems and his 50% crit rate

doesnt explore all that much, most of the exploring hes done came from him trying to get all the oculus

his razor is so good though, except that's the only character hes put tons of effort into

except for now zhongli, hes not replacing razor but ugh does he love zhongli

but his other characters are pretty mediocre at best, he could build them if he wanted to, hes good enough at gaming to figure it out, he just doesnt have the time to spend to do it so he focuses on his main team

also (spoiler alert kinda) when we had to go to the wolf spirit to fight the abyss herald and razor was there, afterwards how razor was saying how he was too weak and stuff and was super sad, at that very moment shiggy decided the entire abyss order had to be destroyed - sorry aether (he chose lumine) but razor is more important than you

[genshin-on-crack]

I posted 194 times in 2021

102 posts created (53%)

92 posts reblogged (47%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.9 posts.

I added 323 tags in 2021

#genshin impact - 104 posts

#genshin impact memes - 58 posts

#genshin incorrect quotes - 42 posts

#aether - 26 posts

#childe - 17 posts

#kaeya - 17 posts

#chongyun - 15 posts

#zhongli - 15 posts

#tartaglia - 15 posts

#kazuha - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#i'm really hyped for 1.6 update ngl can't wait to put chongyun and kazuha in my teapot... kazuha please come homeeeeeee

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Aether: Delusions are artificial visions, am I correct?

Childe: Technically, yes.

Aether (after hearing Kazuha's backstory): I have a question Childe-

Childe: What is it?

Aether: If delusions are artificial visions, could it be possible they used empty vision shells and gave them some sort of artificial power to turn them into delusions?

Childe: Maybe, I'm not sure how this works.

Aether: What if the Electro Archon was just doing business with the Tsaritsa and doing the Vision Hunt decree just to sell the empty visions to the Tsaritsa?

Childe:

Childe: That's a really horrible way to put it.

Kazuha, who was listening: So we're farming materials? Nice... now I wonder who taught the Electro Archon how to do business...

Childe: I'm getting Zhongli, give me a moment.

Kazuha: proceeds to take out his sword

Aether: PLEASE I NEED ANSWERS-

Kazuha: You'll be answerable to my sword if you try to interfere.

Aether and Childe: Oh Archons please no-

Kazuha: There shall be no Archons in this world except Aether.

Childe:

Aether:

Kazuha: ...what?

110 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 14:53:06 GMT

#4

Kazuha: Quick test! What is one good way to start a conversation with someone?

Scaramouche: Grab them by the collar and strangle them until they talk to you.

Kazuha: Setting the bar a little low, but honestly, I would allow it.

Scaramouche: *proceeds to grab Childe and starts strangling him* Kazuha says I have the strangle pass, NOW TALK TO ME-

114 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 06:18:27 GMT

#3

Scaramouche: Tartaglia can never be a problem to the Harbingers.

Lumine: Why, is it because he's a nice guy?

Scaramouche: No. Problems are solvable and can be dealt with. Up to now, no one has successfully dealt and solved the stupidity of Childe, hence he can't be a problem technically.

Scaramouche: In short, he's worse than a problem.

121 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 16:15:36 GMT

#2

Xiao: Want to know the quickest way to a man's heart?

Lumine: Yeah.

Xiao, looking at Childe menacingly: A knife.

133 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 08:34:48 GMT

#1

Zhongli: tapping fingers on table Venti: taps fingers back furiously Xiao: …What’s going on? Aether: Morse code. They’re talking. Zhongli: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Venti: slams hands on table YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

135 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 15:52:16 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[danurso]

Living on

Zhongli sighed as he walked into his room, today was another day in which the traveler decided to bring him to farm for artifacts. As tedious as such a task could be, Zhongli enjoyed the action present in the domains, as well as the feeling of fighting next to his new friends. . . . .How long has it been since he last fought alongside a friend? He probably shouldn't dwell on that question for too long.

Zhongli: although, it would be far from the first time I did so. . .

???: you did what?

His train of thoughts was, suddenly, de-railed by a familiar female voice. His attention shifted to the woman sitting on his chair, with crossed legs and a bottle of sake in hand.

Zhongli: Beidou? What a pleasant surprise to see you here.

Beidou: i wasn't planning to come here, but then i remembered that you probably decided to stay quiet about today, as always. So someone had to come here and congratulate you. *rests her bottle on the table and pulls out an small rectangular box* Happy birthday morax.

Zhongli: don't call me-

Beidou: don't worry, there's no one around but us, and today is your birthday, so i think i should call you by your real name.

Zhongli: you shouldn't have-

Beidou: Yes I should. Just because you're six thousand years old, doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate another year alive. *pushes the small package against his chest* now stop complaining and open it up you old fart.

He let out a sigh, knowing that discussing would lead them nowhere. So he did as she asked, opening the small package and seeing a small portrait, with a picture from a few days earlier, it had him along the traveler and every single one of his new other friends, from the frowning Diluc to the childlike smile of Childe. It was a crowded picture they took when they found out about the new "Camera" Gadget going around Liyue.

Zhongli: I appreciate the gift Beidou, but I think I already have one of these.

Beidou: No, like this one you don't have.

Zhongli: *Raises eyebrow*

Beidou: it took awhile and it wasn't cheap, but this picture was made to last. . .a lot.

Zhongli: what do you mean?

Beidou: i went after mages and skilled alchemists to help me with this, the picture and the portrait are reinforced with both magic and alchemy, it should last for at least five thousand years if you don't do something stupid like throw it on a volcano or drop into the sea. . .at least that's what that blonde alchemist from mondstadt told me.

Zhongli: oh. . .

Beidou: . . .remember what you told me when i was little?

Zhongli: I believe I told you many things back then.

Beidou: *chuckles* Yeah, you did. . .but im talking about the day you took me to my first boat trip. You said "Live your life to the fullest, and enjoy everything you can, Because we don't know for how long something good can last."

Zhongli: I remember that.

Beidou: I get what you were trying to tell me, time gave me a few bruises since then, but I can't imagine what it did to you. To live for so long and lose so many good things. . .and good people as well.

Zhongli: *looks down with a nostalgic look*

Beidou: that's why i made this, so even if you outlive all of us, you'll never forget the good things we've been through together. And if you ever forget about your friend. . .about us, you'll have something to make you remember.

Zhongli: . . .

Beidou: *sighs* Damn, only you to make me say a bunch of cheesy stuff like that. So? Did you like it or-

Zhongli: *holding her into a hug* Thank you.

Beidou: *pink* . . .geez, warn me before you decide to get physical *hugs him back* . . .stupid old man.

Zhongli: . . . *sniff*

Beidou: what? *chuckles* are you gonna cry now?

Zhongli: no. . .but i can see that someone hasn't taken a bath yet.

Beidou: *red* i was on the sea for two weeks and barelly got here on time, i'm sorry if taking a bath wasn't on the top of my priority list.

Zhongli: *let go* were you really that eager to come and see me today?

Beidou: *redder* Well someone had to! You refuse to tell anyone about your damn birthday!

Zhongli: it's not that important. Tomorrow is the beghining of a new year, so they should focus on spending time with their closest friends and family, not me.

Beidou: *frowns* . . .venti is right, you are a blockhead.

Zhongli: am i wrong though?

Beidou: *pouts*

Zhongli: don't give me that look. Shouldn't you be with your crew now? I bet they're waiting for their captain.

Beidou: i'm not coming back for today.

Zhongli: why?

Beidou: because today i wanna stay with my "closest friends and family", is that not a good reason?

Zhongli: Using my own words against me, clever as ever aren't you? *chuckles*

Beidou: what? You don't want me to stay?

Zhongli: Quite the oposite, i would love to have your company. I'm just thinking that if you are planning to stay, i should probably light up some aromatic candles to mask your. . .strong scent.

Beidou: *red* Fine, I get it! I stink! I'll take a bath! *stomps towards the bathroom* but i'll need clean clothes! Also i'm taking your towel!

Zhongli: help yourself. i'll ask someone to bring something that can suit you meanwhile.

Beidou: *gets into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.*

He let out another chuckle, seeing Beidou getting like that because of him was somewhat amusing to see. He stood in place until the sound of water running started, at that moment he went to the kitchen to prepare some tea for them, she would probably not like it so he should add some sake to the mix.

On his way there, he picked up the picture and stared at it. A warm smile made its way into his expression as his chest filled with something he hadn't felt in a long time. . .to think he would feel like this even after being in this world for so long.

Zhongli: *sniff* . . .

If he could enjoy something good like this, still being alive doesn't feel like such a burden anymore.

[ellitx]

Just wanted to come in and say I am crying because Venti finally came home and I'm just way too excited about it but he literally is a HUGE comfort character to me and I was almost giving up hope before trying one last try 😭 It's like he knew I was about done and he just gave me some mercy! Anywhere, I hope everyone has a wonderful day 🥺❤ I'm gonna go cry with joy.

Ahh congrats!! The feeling of your fave character coming to you just fills you with serotonin and relief. All your hard work of farming primogems was worth it anon!

Pls take good care of him! He really wants to join your party after all <33

[sketch-witch]

Hi @sorbouboul! I’m your RF Secret Santa! I’ve written for you a story featuring Dolce. Enjoy~! 

Even with Pico following her around all the time, Dolce seemed a lot more like one would picture a house cat, in her attitude and behavior. She tended to shy away from most people, but you could gain her trust easily with treats or by giving her the space to come to you, instead. Dolce often came to the castle to visit Lady Ventuswill’s empty chamber, staring at the space she used to occupy. Clorica pulled a freshly-baked Apple Pie from the oven; lately, she’d been sharing them with Pico when she came by with Dolce, but Clorica wasn’t the type to leave anyone out when sharing baked goods.

Pico floated into the kitchen to meet Clorica as she was plating slices of pie, which was just as well, since Clorica was yawning softly as she set out the plates for afternoon tea. Pico’s habit was to take plates for herself and Dolce and Clorica would join them later, but today, Clorica had a cart set up for tea service, so she assisted with setting the plates on it. Clorica yawned again, but pushed the cart to Lady Ventuswill’s not-so-empty chamber, where Dolce was sitting, staring at the center and lost in thought. 

Clorica announced her presence by yawning--as per usual--and stopped when she reached the typically shy young lady, silently offering her tea and the slice of Apple Pie she’d prepared. Pico was more than happy to dig in; even death didn’t diminish her appetite, and she was still able to enjoy the food that Nancy, Jones, Porcoline, or Clorica made. Dolce accepted the offer of afternoon tea with a small smile and murmured thanks, setting her plate and cup down beside her and resuming her introspection. She looked up back again, though, when Clorica sat next to her.

“You know,” she began, “you can feel free to share what’s on your mind.” She stifled another yawn before leaning on Dolce’s shoulder. “Everyone misses her,” she added. “Selphia hasn’t been the same without her.”

Pico snuggled herself between them, but didn’t remove Clorica’s head from Dolce’s shoulder. 

“That’s right, Dolly! You ought to tell everyone how you feel,” Pico cheered. Dolce responded by covering the ghost’s mouth and glaring.

“Quiet, you,” she admonished. Then, she sighed. “You’re right, though…”

Pico looked up hopefully, clinging to Dolce’s gloved hand, while she continued to speak.

“Things definitely aren’t the same,” she admitted. She lifted the teacup and took a sip, and her eyes widened in surprise. Everyone knew Volkanon typically made the best tea of all the butlers, though Clorica was learning quickly and the tea she made was, almost surprisingly, quite good. 

She felt more than saw Clorica’s face shift into a soft smile.

“Do you like it?” she asked, sleep slightly slurring her words.

“It’s… pretty good,” Dolce answered, hiding her face behind the teacup.

“I’m glad~...” Clorica responded. She seemed to drift off into a light sleep at that point, snoring softly with deep, even breaths. Even Dolce had to smile; Clorica could keep her calm in any situation. “Oh!” she jumped, shifting only slightly before settling back down. “You need to try the Apple Pie, too; it will have cooled enough by now. The apples were really crisp and fresh from Lest’s farm. It should have come out really good.”

Dolce took another sip of her tea before setting it down and trading it for the pie that Dolce mentioned. The apple filling was spreading across the plate, but it smelled fantastic with a balance of sweetness, tartness, and just a hint of spice. She cut off a piece with her fork and lifted it to her mouth.

It tasted like heaven. The crust was light and flaky, the syrup wasn’t too thick, and the apples had just the right amount of bite left to them that they were soft, but didn’t melt in her mouth right away. Without any idea as to why, Dolce’s eyes began to water. She was used to having spicy food, and the pie wasn’t particularly spicy, but… her heart ached for Clorica, who carefully made the dish to her satisfaction; for Lest, who had grown the produce that went into the dishes Clorica made; for the other people of this town, who all worked hard and with vigor, even without the dragon god who once watched over them. Her heart ached for the dragon, too, because Venti’s death was the first she witnessed as a human instead of as a monster.

Clorica passed her a handkerchief, which Dolce gladly took and used to wipe her eyes.

“It’s okay to be sad,” Clorica said simply. “She was your friend.”

She sat up so she could take a sip of her tea and a bite of her slice of pie, as well.

“Oh, this turned out great!” she cheered, scarfing down another two or three bites before turning back to Dolce, who was still fighting back as many tears as she could.

“Let it out for now, but know that Lady Ventuswill is still here,” Clorica soothed her. “Maybe not in person, or as a ghost, but… she gave her Runes back to the earth. Maybe one day, we’ll find a way to bring her back--and I hope we do--but even if we don’t… we have to keep living, because that’s what she’d want for us. Right?”

Dolce, still teary-eyed and red-faced, nodded. Somehow, she managed to compose herself slightly while Clorica was talking, and she took another calming sip of her tea.

“Dollyyyyyyyyyyy! Come here, I’ll comfort youuuuuuu-- AAUGH!” Pico interrupted, but Dolce held up a sealing talisman, and Pico shrank back down into the space between her and Clorica.

As she grumbled, Clorica reached out and rubbed her back.

“Let’s finish our tea,” she suggested, “and maybe we can all have a girls’ night tonight? Vishnal told me the boys do the same thing.” She giggled. “We’ll all go out to eat, have a bit of fun, and probably end up back at Meg’s house. What do you say?”

Dolce smiled, but it was still hidden behind her teacup.

“Sounds good,” she answered.

[bloodelves88]

Fundamental Game Design Problems with Genshin Impact

I’ve been playing Genshin Impact since its launch, and I’ve had some sort of a love-hate relationship with it. On one hand, I love the world, the characters, the story, and how it feels so carefree and beautiful. On the other hand, I really hate its leveling system, its gacha system, and the time-reward ratio of its activities.

I find that there are quite a few issues in Genshin Impact that just doesn’t make sense from a game design perspective. These issues make the player want to play less, or avoid features in the game that should not be avoided, and instead should be encouraged to explore. Coincidentally, the very same game design issues do encourage players to spend real money on the game, so I guess that’s the crux of the issue.

Issue 1: The Resin System

If you play Genshin Impact, we all saw this issue coming, didn’t we? 

Resin is basically the stamina/energy that you would know in other gacha games. The problem is that there’s just too little resin, which leads to almost every other problem that I’m going to talk about later.

In short, there’s just too little resin given to the player. The amount of time to recover resin is just too long for the amount of rewards given in exchange.

In Genshin Impact, you can spend resin on ley lines (random fights in the open world that give either character experience or money), domains (instanced fights that give you artifact equipment, or weapon ascension materials), and open world bosses (gives you character ascension materials). Nothing wrong with that, so far so good.

What if I told you that you need to spend approximately 5 hours worth of resin in order to get the rewards from a world boss, and that boss might not even drop the material? Just this past week alone, I spent about 5 days worth of resin on just one boss and nothing else, and I came out with no high tier materials at all. On the bright side, the game does allow you to combine lower tier materials into higher tier materials. This still doesn’t sound too bad... but read on to issue 2 and 3 to see why this becomes a problem that snowballs.

Another strange point is that the weekly quests require you to spend more resin than you can recover. This pretty much means that you must spend real money in order to complete the quest. Totally broken.

Issue 2: The World Level System

In Genshin Impact, there is something called a “World Level”. This determines the level of the monsters in the world, which in turn determines the quality of the loot that they drop.

The problem is, the world level increases as your adventure rank increases. Your adventure rank increases when you do pretty much anything in the game. Completing quests, opening chests, completing domains, defeating bosses, and completing ley lines all give you adventure rank experience. 

This means that you will be kept on your toes, and you cannot afford to spend your resin on things you do not need. God forbid that you end up with a high world level with weak characters. You’re pretty much dead if that happens. 

I’ve not found myself in such a situation yet, and I have no idea if it’s possible to break out of such an impasse. Too weak to farm materials, and no way to get around that. Big oof.  

It’s strange, because this is such a chill and calming game, but the system behind it is anything but. 

Ever since I hit adventure rank 30, I’ve avoided doing any random quests that I come across in the open world (game design problem: your players are avoiding quests). I simply do not want to level up! I’m scared of leveling up (game design problem: your players do not want to level up).

Now, why does this happen? The resin system! The player is just not able to farm enough to become strong enough to handle a higher world level.

There is a minor breather for this though. Every 10 adventure rank levels starting at level 25, there’s a trial that you have to pass before the world level will go up. This gives the you an infinite amount of time to catch up and farm whatever you want, and the world level will not go up. However, you will still earn adventure rank experience, which will all be added once you’ve passed the trial. I skipped level 26-30 this way and jumped two world levels because of this. Luckily, I was prepared enough to handle it.

You might think that this trial is there to counter this problem of being too weak in the world level you’re in. Nope. The boss (electro hypostasis) in the trial is one of the easiest bosses in the game due to a lack of an enrage timer (DPS check) and it has very obvious attacks that are easily dodged. So... it doesn’t gatekeep anything. 

Issue 3: The Leveling System

In Genshin Impact, your characters level up using character experience cards. These cards are dropped from chests, and are given as rewards from quests or ley lines.

In Genshin Impact, you also control a squad of four characters at a time, and elemental reactions and elemental advantages are a big part of the combat system. So, you aren’t just going to be able to get away with training one character, and I’d say that you would need about 6 characters to cover all your bases. 

I’ve personally leveled up two characters to 70, one to 60, two to 50, and one to 40. And I’m all out of character experience cards.

The problem? The resin system! Your main source of character experience cards in the late game would be from ley lines, and this requires resin if you want to gain rewards from it. But wait! I also need resin to farm weapon ascension materials and character ascension materials! Well, too bad. Welcome to Genshin Impact.

The fundamental game design issue from this is that it prevents the player from experimentation. You would think, “Hmm, what would character X be like if I used her in this squad? Oh wait, I don’t have the resources to level her up anyway”. You might think that’s fine, because you might think that you could just go farm some resources to level this character up and try her out. But remember issue 2? Your world level might go up while you’re doing this, which will make all content more difficult to clear. Is there really time for experimentation? What if the character doesn’t work out? Then your main squad hasn’t gained any strength while the world level went up. I guess you’re dead.

I’m not even excited about getting new characters anymore, because I know that all they’ll do is sit in my roster at level 1, and the only time they’ll ever get used is when I send them off to collect materials on expeditions. I have a Venti doing just that. Will I ever be able to train him? Ha! Who knows? Maybe when I’m stuck at adventure rank 45.

So from the start of the game, you have to pick your squad, maybe you’re allowed to deviate and level up two new characters on top of your main four, and that’s it. You got to lock that squad in and never use any other character ever again because you just can’t afford to.

Wut.

Issue 4: The Gacha Rates

In Genshin Impact, the highest rarity (5 star) comes at a 0.6% rate. Compared to other popular gacha games which come in at around 1-2%, the difference is huge.

To me, this alone is already an issue from a design perspective. When it’s too low, it can get people frustrated enough to quit the game (I was planning to, until the last roll I could afford gave me Klee). The amount of money the whales are spending just to get a single character or weapon can easily go into the hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Another problem that arises from the poor rates is you start to lack important archetypes in your squad. For a long time I lacked a heavy-hitting claymore user (this is important to break shields and rocks), and I also lacked someone good against frost enemies. So I spent all my free gems (six 10 rolls, worth US$180) and finally got Klee, a fire bomb user. The game does give a free claymore user, but I don’t have the resources to train another character (see, resin raises its ugly head again). The game also does give a good free fire character, but she isn’t fiery enough to fight a whole domain of frost enemies.

If Genshin Impact wants to keep its gacha rates low, fine by me. But the game needs to give all players a complete and well-rounded set of characters that can cover all bases. Every element needs to be countered, a healer is needed, and a shield-breaker is needed. And this set of characters need to do the job well. Having complete jokes of a character like Amber is not going to help. Having a difficult to understand/build character like Noelle is not going to help.

-----

I do like this game, and I do want to keep playing it. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a little and let Mihoyo fix the game before I start playing again.

[wherearemyglassesbro]

yes please ramble about genshin impact

I wanna talk about play style babes ❤️😭 so I WILL 🤪🤪

Disclaimer! Every character is amazing in their own way! Anyone can be a main dps or any play style is great!! This is just my opinion, which isn’t worth much lmao

Everyone shown will be written about from left to right!!!

Archers:

Fischl: annoying. I can’t stand her voice lines and she’ll stay at level 20 until everyone else is level 90 and I take pity on her and level her up like everyone else. Her charged attack confuses me and she’s just. Annoying. She’s been on my team ONE time! Her first and last time

Venti: This bitch...I’m blessed to have him. His ult attack is epic!! Once I get him artifacts to increase Anemo damage it’s all over for you assholes :) I typically don’t enjoy archers or catalysts because I like being up close and personal with whatever I’m fighting so I can SEE my sword hit it y’know? But Venti makes domains and fighting camps of enemies so easy!! Treasure hoarder camps? Obliterated. Though keep in mind, I really only have him on my team for his ult and charged attacks, everyone else deals the rest of the damage

Amber: She used to have a permanent spot on my team before I found out Venti was actually really good...Didn’t fully understand the game yet :) she’s good! Basic and easy to understand play style! Once I got Bennet though...She is no longer my go-to Pyro :’) sorry girlie...

Diona: I’m sorry but no ❤️ I personally can’t stand playing as the tiny characters. Her voice lines are cute and from what I’ve seen, she’s a great healer!! But I won’t use her, it’s just too much of a hassle since she’s so small. She can’t climb or run as fast as taller characters and it’s just annoying to be so much shorter than whatever I’m fighting :/

Childe: I don’t have him but I got to play as him in his story quest as his play style was??? Confusing??? The whole switching from bow to swords was confusing and hard to keep up with cause I’m just mashing buttons babey!!! If I’m being honest, if I had him I wouldn’t use him much. He’s cool and I love him as a character but he just wouldn’t fit in my team anywhere! That pains me to say...;-;

Ganyu: Regretting skipping her banner :/ I didn’t do her character trial either but I finished her story quest and uh...I missed out! That’s what I get for giving into the ‘cryo Amber’ mindset! Her play style is very fun! I love her ult attack...Damn...I missed out man she would have been awesome on my team for sure.

———————

Claymores:

Beidou: 100/10, she is SO useful!! She’s on my secondary team and even though she’s only a level 40, she’s a C6!! She’s my ONLY C6 character so I’ve been dumping all of my electro materials into her lately, she is SUCH a hard hitter I love her! I love electro and ice or fire reactions!! She’s the queen of them babe. Shes fast and strong...Pirate woman...

Razor: I’m conflicted cause he’s fun to play as but I have a lot of beef with him. The first problem is a problem I cause myself because one hit and he’s dead. If I don’t have a shield up, he’s a goner two seconds into any fight. My other gripe is that his ult doesn’t carry over to other characters. An example of that is Kaeya’s ice ring or Noelle’s shield! Those carry over between character switches but Razor’s does not. Annoyingggggg!!!

Chongyun: Admittedly, I kinda gave up on building him. There’s only room for one cryo character on my team and that’s Kaeya. His fighting style isn’t all that special but I feel like the game is trying to get me to level him up cause the last 4 domains I’ve done, I’ve been paired with level 80 Chongyun players and they were pretty awesome so...When I have the materials to spare, I might have to invest in this guy lmao

Xinyan: I JUST got her like last week or something so she isn’t leveled up a whole lot but oh man...Her ult is sick. I LOVE the rock and roll theme for her, she’s just awesome! I don’t see her becoming part of either of my main teams but I will definitely use her for domains once I can spare materials to level her up ;-;

Noelle: I used her alllllll the time until I got Zhongli. Her shield is fantastic, you really can’t go wrong with a shield! Other than that...I can’t really say anything else about her :’) her play style is similar to the other claymores which doesn’t really allow her to stand out much

Diluc: he’s an honorable mention. I don’t have him...But I want him so bad. My pity is at 50/50 so I’ll either get Hu Tao or him!! (Or Qiqi, Mona, Keqing or Jean but I don’t wanna talk about that). People make him so strong, even when he’s lower leveled he still hits hard! I’d love love love to have him on my team

—————

Catalysts:

Lisa: the og catalyst...I like her as a character but man oh man...She just doesn’t fit on any team! Her play style is fun! Her voice lines are flirty, she’s just a fun character uggghhh I’d love to actually play with her more! Beidou is just the better electro for my team so Lisa will sit on the sidelines for awhile :’)

Ningguang: I poured all of my geo resources I to Zhongli so she literally never got the chance to even be on a team. I leveled her up enough to get that free wish but...Yeah...I have only played as her during a character trial even though I have her! Idk, she just wouldn’t fit on my team. Some people make her super strong which I admire!!

Barbara: fantastic I love everything about her! She and Bennet swap places on my main team every hour or so but when she’s paired with Kaeya, she’s just awesome!! She just works well with others! And she sings :’) other than that her play style isn’t exactly anything special! She’s just a character I can swap out a lot and she just FITS in my main team?? Amazing

Mona: Still in the process of leveling her up, I really enjoy her play style! Not a fan of catalysts but... I did something the other day when I switched artifacts around and now she does pretty good damage?? Idk what I did but she’s more fun to play as now! My only gripe is when she sprints, she turns into a puddle! So when I want to dodge or do short bursts of sprinting she leaps in and out of the floor like STOP IT HAJSLSSK the splashing is SO LOUD for WHAT lmao I love her though! Solid spot on the secondary team

Sucrose: she is so underleveled but I made an all Anemo team just for giggles...And now I want to actually buff her up. It’ll take a lot of time and material farming but she has a lot of potential to work well with Pyro and hydro characters with her swirl effect!! :)

Klee: Again, not a fan of the kiddos. I don’t even remember when I played as her, it might have been her trial or in a story quest somewhere but I just didn’t enjoy her play style. She throws bombs which don’t always go off immediately so I’m sitting there like ???? Blow up??? And then they don’t? Confusing!!!

——————

Swords:

Kaeya: Oh yes my big sexy man hello sir 👀 he is never leaving my team!! Never! I’ve formed an emotional attachment to him and uh well he’s level 74 now and overpowers all of my 5 stars except Zhongli. When he’s paired up with Barbara and they both activate their water/ice swirls?? That’s my favorite thing in the whole world I LOVE freeze reactions! Ugh absolutely flawless! My only gripe about his play style is that sometimes he turns away when firing his ice and I’m like NO THE OTHER WAY it’s called auto aim or something idk, most characters do it at some point...It’s just ten times more annoying when he does it :)

Jean: I got Jean very recently so she isn’t at her best yet but WOW she is an amazing healer!! Like wow, she’s giving Bennet a run for his money. I have no complaints about her! Her play style is kinda basic. I do love how she can just blow enemies away though, that’s fun!! Especially in co op when I can blow my teammates off cliffs :) I don’t really use her though...She isn’t on my main or secondary team...rip

Bennet: Benny’s adventure team!!! He and Barbara swap spots on my main team a lot! He’s a great healer! Not as good as Barb but I’m still working on him!! He’s kinda just there for moral support, he’s too under leveled to really do any damage :’) he’s just...a cute lil guy :’) I like having him on my team :’) his play style is very basic which makes it easy to swap him in and out for other characters

Xingqiu: his ult and charged attacks take FOREVER to load!! I love him as a character but I have no patience for load times. Off to the sidelines he goes! He’s cool and fun but man!!! In the heat of battle I don’t have time to wait!! I need that hydro burst so I can get an elemental reaction!! I don’t have 30 seconds to wait, my liege!!

Aether: there’s a difference between Anemo traveler and Geo traveler!! Geo traveler is better BUT when he produces thise rock balls?? That’s beyond obnoxious especially in domains. STOP MAKING BALLS IN DOMAINS!!! You’re just raising enemies into the air and now your teammates can’t reach!! The geo ult is good though :) Anemo traveler is alright, I cant complain but geo is just superior :)

Albedo: I don’t have him but I tried him out during his character trial...He’s hot but I’m just not a huge fan of his play style. He summons an elevator...Eh. If I had him he would kinda just...sit on the sidelines

Keqing: oh wow she is just SO AWESOME!! If I got her instead of Diluc I honestly wouldn’t be mad. I’d have to frantically rearrange my teams for he to fit somewhere but it would be worth it. Her character trial showed me how fast she is and how fast her ult/charged attacks charge up! Her ult looks AMAZING and if I activated a shield around her and Kaeya’s ice thing I think she’d obliterated domains! I’d love to have her on my team golly jeez

Qiqi: Again, not a fan of the small characters :( people use her in domains all the time and she’s an awesome healer! But if I had her I probably would not use her :/ anti child

————————

Polearms:

Zhongli: I can’t imagine NOT using him on my team. Having a shield is a must because I’m a huge wimp!! And I’ve finally built him enough that he will occasionally do 10k damage...Only when he feels like it I guess. It’s happened like 4 times and I just scream every time it’s awesome!! His burst attack is awesome and I know I’ve said it already but I enjoy being up close when fighting, not standing and shooting from the side. When his shield is up, this man takes zero damage and just deals hits left and right!! He’s a staple for my team for sure

Xiao: I really loved his story quest and his fighting style is fun HOWEVER he is just....Annoying to fight with. He takes damage with his own ult attack???? That’s obnoxious! And then I have to make room on my team for a support when I play with him :/ it isn’t a huge deal, I enjoy playing with Barbara and Bennet but my dream team (Zhongli, Venti, Kaeya and Xiao) just can’t work out cause Xiao’s constantly on life support. Other than that, I like his dash attacks and even though his ult kills him, it deals a lot of damage! Still building him up to add him to the main team :)

Xiangling: I love her, she’s adorable and I love Gouba but I just poured all of my materials into Bennet and everyone else so I never got the chance to properly build her. She’s kinda just stuck at level 31....Waiting for her chance to be on a team. I used to use her often when I was like ar20! I’ve kinda grown away from her, I’m not even sure why I guess :’) her play style is fine! I just like...Other characters more ;-; I feel mean saying that lmao she’s very fun!! Just not what I’m looking for

Honorable polearm mentions:

Hu Tao: She literally comes out tomorrow but I’m not gonna wait to try her out before posting this. Her play style looks very fun! The way she phases through enemies is strange but very cool!!! I’m a bit confused about the way she moves but hey! I’ll get to do her character trial and see for myself! Very excited about her being introduced to the game

Rosaria: we haven’t gotten a preview of her fighting style but I feel bad about leaving her out! She’s close to being released! She deserves recognition!

My thumbs are cramping....remember that every character is awesome and they all have back stories and cool voice lines! This is all my opinion and my team builds! Nothing against these guys and gals! :)

[zawadni]

Ngl the pulls in genshin are trash hsjssj but at least that means the next 5* you pull is guaranteed the limited character (if you pulled on the limited banner that is), that's literally the only reason I got Xiao. Now I'm hoping to win the 50/50 and get childe djksjsk I'm currently tryna farm chests in hopes of getting like 2 primogems each- the standard banner is jsksjsksk I wanted diluc but genshin said no ❤️ and gave me Mona c1 hdkdjs hate it here 😔

I’m gonna try to finish the Spiral Abyss so I can get to the last challenge and get all those Primogems and try and get Venti but I doubt that’s going to happen

[timelordthirteen]

O, Tannenbaum

Detective Weaver/Belle French, G

Summary: Weaver's desire to help Belle get a Christmas tree takes an unexpected, but delightful turn.

Notes: After the big downer of Night Shift and the current slightly angsty spot that In All Things is in, I thought we needed some Woven Beauty fluff. This is definitely part of a larger universe that's in my head, and it so far down on the WIP list it's unlikely to see the light of day. For the 31 Days prompt #19: tree.

[AO3]

“A tree farm?”

“Yes.” Weaver looked at Belle French with a bemused smile.

“Um, isn’t it a bit out of the way?”

He gave her a look and gently guided her out of the flow of people up and down the sidewalk, tucking them into the doorway of the used book shop she’d just closed for the day. “It’s just up by Marysville, thirty minutes at best on the interstate.”

She seemed uncertain, and he sighed, reaching for her bare, chilled hands and wrapping them in his larger, warmer ones. “Belle, sweetheart, let me do this for you and Neal.”

Belle started to smile and gave his hands a squeeze.

Moving to Hyperion Heights, Washington from their little house in Storybrooke, Maine had been the first of many changes in her effort to give them a better life. Her new job at the used book store on 5th paid better than the public library in a town of six thousand, but the rent in the Seattle area was near extortion levels. Still, the schools were better, and the opportunities for jobs and culture had made most of it worthwhile.

She’d met Detective Aiden Weaver last year, quite by accident, in the mall parking lot. She’d stupidly walked up to the wrong yellow Bug, and after yanking on the door handle a few times, the proper owner of the vehicle had all but accosted her. A woman screaming about her car being stolen brought a fair bit of attention, as well as an off duty detective, and Belle was very lucky that Weaver recognized an honest mistake and calmed the other woman down. Holidays brought a lot of stress, and in the end the woman apologized, and Belle felt even more like an idiot and got a bit upset.

Weaver was having none of it, and took her for coffee, during which she poured out all her troubles into a venti caramel macchiato, while he gave her sympathetic looks over a small dark roast with two sugars. On their way out, he gave her his card with his personal number written on the back, and instruction to call any time she needed. It was two months before she got up the nerve to ask him for help fixing some cabinets in her kitchen. After that, they were friends, and a few months later, more than.

“And you know how to pick out the best tree, cut it down, and all that?”

Weaver’s head rolled back as it often did when he was exasperated. “Yes. I’ve done it a couple of times.”

She bit her lip. “And you’re sure it will fit on your car?”

His head came forward and he leaned in to kiss her forehead, his lips shockingly warm on her chilled skin.

“I borrowed Rogers’ truck. The tree will fit in the back just fine, and Neal can sit between us in the cab.”

Belle looked up, her eyebrows knit in question. “You...you were planning this?”

He started to smirk and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s two weeks until Christmas, there’s a very bare corner in your living room, and Neal spent most of Tuesday night asking where Santa was going to leave the presents if you didn’t have a tree.”

Her vision blurred as her eyes welled up. “Aiden,” she said softly. “You don’t need -”

He stopped her with a firm kiss. “Yes, I do.”

When he drew back, she was looking up at him with such adoration and amazement that it made his chest ache. He’d been planning to wait a little longer, trying to gauge how she might feel about everything, but if there was anything his job had taught him, it was that no one was guaranteed tomorrow.

“I love you.” He lifted her hands to his face and pressed a kiss to each one. “And Neal.”

Belle’s lips parted, her gasp coming out in a little puff between them. Before he could take her pause as a hesitation, she pushed up on her toes and sealed her mouth over his, pushing him back against the door to the bookshop with the force of her kiss. His arms went around her, hauling her to him despite the layers of coats and clothes between them.

When they finally parted, her eyes were sparkling, her fingers were gripping the sides of his coat, and she was beaming up at him with a smile wider than he’d ever seen.

“We love you too.”

[mikeshanlon]

he’s all that: chapter two

fandom: it

pairing: reddie (richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak)

word count: 5k

one | on ao3

summary:

Richie smiled smugly, “You’ve got spunk Kaspbrak. I like that.”

“Why don’t you try shutting the fuck up Tozier,” Eddie retorted as the line moved forward, “So what is this, if not some ploy to get me to tutor you? Some sort of dork outreach program? Because I’m not interested.”

—

Or: The one where Richie Tozier has six weeks to get into a relationship and make someone fall for him. Only problem? That someone is the anxiety ridden, goody two shoes Eddie Kaspbrak, and he can’t even stand to be in the same room as Richie.

warnings: there is drug use in that bev/mike/richie are HUGE stoners. also this chapter there is mentions to maggie being an alcoholic. 

a/n: hey! decided to post two weeks in a row just to get the ball rolling (which is why i still dont have all the chapters figured out as promised, my apologies). i'll probably start the every other week thing for next update (so chapter three should be up by march 4th). i would try to do every week but im a college student who has Stuff to do and also makes gifs and im horrible at finishing my writing so, giving myself a realistic deadline that will still hopefully produce quality work. anyways, richie and eddie finally interact this chapter! it's.......................  a bit messy though. and we get to see the rest of the losers club in this one too. 

tag list:  @richietoaster, @wintersember, @howellhxlic, @ed-txzier, @clara-farl3y

After standing in the hallway arguing with Bev for ten minutes, (“I mean really Bevs, fuck!” “You said anyone.” “How do we even know he’s gay?!” “Richie, please.”) Richie resigned himself to the fact that he was going to find some way to charm Eddie. Maybe Beverly would let him borrow that spellbook she bought junior year when she had become obsessed with witchcraft and hexing the patriarchy.

Once school was finally over, Richie dropped off Mike at his farm per usual, ranting about the bet the whole ride over. The farm boy nodded along, but he knew the words ‘told you so’ sat on the tip of his tongue.  

They pulled up to his house, the engine idling so he wouldn’t have to spend time getting it to start again, “Don’t wait up for me tonight if you wanna smoke. Got lotsa research in store,” Richie said as Mike grabbed his backpack and got out of the car.

Mike raised a brow, leaning into the passenger window (which in its broken state always stayed down), “I’m surprised Rich. You never do your homework.”

“Homework shmomwork,” he tapped the end of his cigarette out the window before taking another drag, “Gotta figure out what little ol’ Edward likes. Time for some deep dark internet exploration.”

“Ah, you’re gonna stalk him. Wasting time on social media does sound much more in character,” Mike smiled.

“It’s not a waste Mikey darlin’, a shit ton of preemo dank is on the line.”

The other boy laughed and shook his head, “Godspeed Tozier.”

Richie saluted Mike as he reversed out back to the main road, Bigmouth Strikes Again blasting on the old car radio.

He weaved through the streets filled with kids walking home or trying to find something to do in this shit-hole town. Long afternoons spent at The Aladdin watching the newest releases or aggressively slamming his fingers down on his favorite game at the arcade came to mind; along with going out of his way to bother just about everyone in his path. Richie never really had many friends when he was younger, spending most of his time alone. He was grateful he crossed paths with Bev and Mike, to fate, luck, God if it existed. The universe was rarely kind to him, but finding them was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Plus, the first time he had smoked weed, but that was with them too.

Turning onto his street, Richie pulled up to the unsuspecting two-story white house. It was straight out of a handbook on the American Dream; but the closer one looked, the imperfections started to appear.

The box overflowing with bottles once filled with alcohol next to the recycling bin, which was already too full with more empty bottles. A crooked ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign by the front door. Dying grass, overgrown and conquered with the little weeds Richie used to make wishes on before blowing the seeds into the summer air (I wish for friends. I wish for better parents. I wish to be loved).

He parked the station wagon on the curb, saving the space next to his Mom’s car for his father.

Maggie’s car hadn’t been driven in months (years?), and Richie absently wondered if it would even work anymore. It was nice, a decent heater and it drove well, at least it did when she had bothered to drop him off at school as a kid. Despite her general lack of care for the wellbeing of others, Mrs. Tozier did not drink and drive. Meaning, she didn’t drive at all, as she was drunk off her ass most of the time.

Richie grabbed his books from the backseat and clambered out, fumbling to find his house key among the mess of weird keychains he bought while high.

He didn’t bother stating his presence, even as a pretense, giving up the habit long ago.

Maggie Tozier sat outside, her back facing the screen door in the kitchen. A cigarette rested from her fingertips, and Richie wasn’t sure if she was actually smoking it or just watching it burn. Of course, her other hand gripped a bottle of beer, and a wine cooler sat at her feet.

Richie scoffed and bounded up the stairs to his room, a ‘KEEP OUT’ sign and band posters adorning the door.

It was often said that one’s room reflected who they were as a person, and Richie was no exception. That is, to say, his room was an absolute fucking mess. His bed was never made, and clothes and knick knacks littered the floor (he had already tripped over some beat up sneakers as he walked in). Old mugs, comics, a lava lamp, lotion, and an ashtray Bev had made him in ceramics sat on his bedside table (read: an old wooden apple carton). The only thing that he kept clear was his record player and vinyls at the edge of the bed, which were meticulously organized.

He tossed his notebooks on his desk, alongside stolen pens, his laptop, and his bong. If his parents actually fucking talked to him he would bother to hide his shit, but it didn’t really matter.

Picking up his laptop and its charger, Richie was on his way out again. He could stay home to conduct his research, but he hated the stuffiness and how lifeless the house felt. It wasn’t really even a home, at least not his. Plus, coffee. It was a necessity, especially for the amount of bullshit he’d have to go through just for the tiny brat.

Richie drove to the Starbucks on Main and Belmont, strolling up to barista and ordering his usual: venti quadruple-shot, black. While he often gorged himself on sweets, his need for caffeine could only be sated by the purest form the coffeeshop could offer.

Per usual, the barista gave him a look, “You sure?”

“Listen, I’ve already made a shit ton of horrible decisions today. Trust me, this is not the worst of them,” Richie answered, sliding the cash across the counter

She raised her brows but said nothing else, handing him the change.

He set up shop at a table by the window in the back, away enough from the other patrons. Most of the time Richie threw caution to the wind, but he figured it would suspicious if someone saw him furiously stalking someone who looked like they hadn’t even graduated from middle school.

After retrieving his coffee, opening his MacBook, and plugging his headphones in, Richie scoured Instagram first. ‘Eddie.k’ didn’t post much, mostly some artsy photos, including ones of Bill and Stanley Uris (their other best friend). There were only one or two selfies, much to Richie’s disappointment. Eddie wasn’t actually too bad looking if you ignored his clothes, his hair, his… everything. Freckles dusted his face, concentrated around his little nose, a few on his lips. Cute lips. Cute cheeks. He had the urge to pinch them. But Jesus, that combover. What was he, a balding man in the 80’s?

Other than those pictures, Eddie hadn’t really posted to Instagram in months. He moved onto  his tagged photos. They had some more substance, although Eddie had pretty much only been tagged in pictures by Bill and Stan. It wasn’t like Richie wasn’t in the same boat of having only a few close friends, but at least he hung out with other people.

For the most part, the pictures were pretty normal, the three of them hanging out. Richie couldn’t help but snort at a picture of the three, presumably after a sleepover. They looked exhausted, hair messy, and were brushing their teeth. Pretty mundane, but Eddie had pulled a ridiculous face in the mirror. It was silly, but Richie hadn’t even thought Eddie was capable of making jokes or doing weird shit. The fucker was always uptight, serious even when they had a substitute. Unsurprisingly, Eddie did not appreciate the post.

eddie.k: literally stan delete this!!!!!!

stantheman: @eddie.k, sorry sweatie (:

Richie grinned and continued to scroll, stopping at a picture of Eddie lying down on the grass, laughing. He wore a red tracksuit, the one students wore to P.E. when the bitter chill of autumn came to Derry. His hair must’ve been a little sweaty, because it was curling up into a messy halo around his grinning face. Richie wanted to know this Eddie, see him curl up laughing, but he knew that would never happen.

He perused their profiles for a while before growing bored, downing a third of his coffee before moving on. Except Eddie didn’t seem to have a Twitter, or a Snapchat. A quick google search of his name only came up with a few images and… a Facebook profile?

Richie prayed that it was an old one Eddie had never deleted, but after the page loaded he saw that the most recent status was made last night.

“Oh my fucking god,” he whispered to himself.

Eddie’s profile picture made him look particularly child-like, a weird picture of him pointing to the camera like he was cool, even though the same hand had a clunky old watch wrapped around it. His header picture displayed the quote ‘there is bravery in being soft’.

Richie snorted, “Yeah, a soft fucking dick!”

Another patron scoffed at his fowl mouth, and he shot her a smug grin.

Eddie only had 40 friends on the site, which consisted of Bill, Stan, some of the other nerds at Derry High, and his mother and her friends. It wasn’t like someone’s Facebook friends actually mattered, especially because only middle aged mothers who posted minion memes about their alcoholism used it anymore, but it was still kinda pitiful.

His posts were generally uninteresting, stuff like ‘super nervous for the math test’, or ‘soooooooooooo bored ://///’. Otherwise, he mostly just shared pictures of cute dogs and DIY videos.

It was hard to find any useful information on Eddie, since he obviously lied a lot. Not in the way of bragging, or saying that he did things he didn’t (like Richie did). But there were comments from Mrs. Kaspbrak’s friends calling him a lady killer, or a few posts calling Carly Rae Jepsen cute (please, Run Away With Me is the one of gayest songs of all time). Eddie was closeted, and Richie knew from experience that someone could never really be themselves around others if they weren’t out.

What his profile lacked in useable information, it more than made up with blackmail material.

Take, for instance, little Eddie in possibly the gayest fucking hat imaginable.

He screeched as he saw the picture of the eleven year old, a white fedora-bucket hat hybrid sitting atop his tiny head, before breaking out into a full on wheeze. Richie was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, and then he thought about Eddie using his inhaler in that gay ass hat and laughed even harder.

The other customers began to stare, some concerned, and others pissed off at the disturbance.

Once he had collected himself somewhat, Richie sent a screenshot to the group chat.

the losers

bev: oh my fucking G O D

richie: I CANT FUCKIN BREATHE ELRNKKLNERG

richie: LIKE F U C K !!! KLJKLGRJKLLEJK

richie: LOOK AT HIS GAY HAT

richie: LIKE, IT’S GAYER THAN WEARING NOTHING BUT A PRIDE FLAG AND GLITTER

richie: HE LOOKS LIKE A TWINKY SKIPPER

richie: HOW IS THAT HAT MORE GAY THAN EVERY SINGLE ONE RYAN EVANS WORE IN THE ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL FRANCHISE COMBINED

bev: i’m muting you

mike: me too

mike: also that hat isn’t that bad

“‘Not that bad?!’” Richie squawked, not that he’d be able to hear him.

(Really, Richie had no authority on the subject. He still donned the occasional Hawaiian shirt over his tees).

He refreshed Eddie’s profile, seeing that he had made a new status.

Eddie Kaspbrak: big night friday, nervous but excited !!!!

Richie raised his brows in intrigue, seeing that Bill and a handful of other people liked the status. What was going on Friday?

He checked to see if Bill had posted anything, if Eddie was going somewhere, chances were Bill was too.

Bill Denbrough: almost the weekend, finally ready to let loose

Seriously, it would’ve been so much easier if Bill was the guy Richie had to woo. Kid was probably fucking nervous for a party, a place where you threw caution to the wind and had a good time. Still, he made a mental note about finding out what their Friday plans were.

Richie sighed, taking another swig of his coffee, “God, what a fucking loser.”

Suddenly, his headphones were being tugged out of his ear by an angry middle-aged woman with short-layered hair and eye bags.

“Hey, what the fuck?” Richie glared, snatching back his headphones.

The woman returned the look, putting her hands on her hips, “Don’t you have respect for the other customers?!”

“Sweetheart, I don’t have respect for myself, let alone some PTA moms-- like the post-divorce haircut by the way.”

Apparently, his finger guns did not soften the blow, because the lady started to scream at him.

And, apparently, this lady was also the manager, and was pushing him out the door.

So great, Eddie and his dumb gay hat got him banned from Starbucks.

Even though he was wounded from Eddie’s betrayal, (because Richie getting kicked out was definitely not his fault-- it was Eddie’s homosexual headwear. An anthropomorphic device of chaos, that Eddie owned, so, yeah, it was Kaspbrak’s fucking fault.) Richie still skipped smoking on Thursday to spend his lunch with the tiny fuck.

Obviously, they hadn’t made plans to do so, but Richie had, and he really couldn’t delay starting the bet. There was a lot on the line.

So, after getting out of econ (turning in an unstudied for but probably aced quiz), and throwing his shit in his locker, Richie detoured to the cafeteria.

The place was a fucking mess, and it reminded Richie just why he avoided the place. It was pure chaos, loud and overwhelming, a million things to get distracted by. Freshman with their stupid rolling backpacks kept whizzing by, making Richie trip or get his feet ran over. The tables were already filled, the honor roll kids, the partiers, Gretta and her gang. Fucking cliches.

He got in line, picking up a tray and proceeding to fiddle with the buttons at the cuff of his black and white flannel; trying to tune out the buzz of conversation. It was weird, at parties he thrived on the noise and disorder, but here all it was doing was fucking with his ADHD.

Richie drummed a beat onto his tray as the line moved forward and picked the most edible looking slop from the menu. The lunch lady glowered at him as he reached for his money only to realize he had put it in the other pocket, fumbling to put the bills and coins on the counter.  

As she put the money in the register, Richie looked around the room, checking to see where Eddie was sitting. He was sat near one of the exits, carefully taking out his lunch and swinging his legs. And he was alone. Perfect.

“Kid, do you want a receipt or not?” the lunch lady snapped from across from him.

Richie blinked back into focus, “Uh, sure, sorry.”

She sighed and printed out the receipt, slamming it down on the tray, “Next!”

Grabbing his tray, Richie plucked up some plastic cutlery and made his way through the sea of students to Eddie Kaspbrak. He had to twist and lift his tray a bit, but eventually the crowds started to part a bit. A chorus of whispers started to erupt. Stupid small town.

“Is that Richie Tozier?”

“I think, but doesn’t he always get high with his stoner friends?”

“What is he doing here?”

“God, he’s so hot.”

Richie smirked, sending a wink at the girl’s praise before sitting across from Eddie. He watched for a moment as the boy continued to focus on on unpacking his utensils and napkins before clearing his throat.

Eddie’s eyes snapped up from his lunchbox, widening when he saw Richie.

“What the fuck?” It was meant to be a whisper to himself, but Eddie’s voice was louder than expected.

Richie grinned at the blushing boy, “Well, hello to you to Eds.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped, returning to his food.

Richie waited for him to say something else, at least fucking look at him, but the little fuck kept his eyes glued to his grapes, nails aggressively ripping the fruit from their stems.

“Okay,” he started, taking a sip of his apple juice, “So, you may be wondering why I’m sitting with you—“

Eddie interrupted, annoyance apparent in every fiber of his being, “Is this gonna be quick or not?”

“I’m hoping it’s not quick, although given how hot I am it’s difficult for people to control themselves.”

A long, deep sigh came from Eddie’s (cute, soft) lips. Eddie grabbed at Richie’s hands, flipping them over so that the palms faced upwards.

“Wow, a bit forward, but I’m liking your style Kaspbrak,” Richie winked.

Eddie rolled his eyes and proceed to take out hand sanitizer from his fanny pack, squirting the floral scented product into Richie’s hands.

Honestly, what the fuck?

He must’ve sent the same message to Eddie with his face, because Eddie said, “You obviously aren’t gonna leave me the fuck alone, and if you’re gonna be in my space, you need to be clean.”

Richie raised a brow at this but rubbed the hand sanitizer into his hands anyways.

Jesus Christ, what a weird, defensive little bitch.

Eddie watched with focused eyes, and only spoke when Richie was finished.

“Continue.”

It took a moment for Richie to gain his bearings once more. This mission seemed dead on arrival, but he had to keep trying anyways.

“So, Eddie…” Richie trailed off, twirling the pasta on his plate before his eyes lit up, “Eddie Spaghetti, Eduardo, what’s up?”

Eddie scowled, “That’s not my fucking name!” he squeaked, “And ‘what’s up?’ I mean, we’ve barely even talked before. You think I’m just gonna put up with this because you’re Richie Tozier? I swear to god, if this is some fucking bullying thing...”

Around them, people began to stare and eavesdrop at the sound of Eddie yelling. Fucking perfect.

Richie blinked back at the boy across from him, now red in the face for a different reason, “Calm down, I’m just trying to get to know you.”

“Fat fucking chance.”

Okay, wow. Richie had more work cut out for him than expected. He thought of what to say next as he watched Eddie finish his grapes.

“This isn’t, like, a joke,” (it wasn’t real either), “I just wanna hang out.”

“Hang out?” Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes met Richie’s, his tone mocking.

Richie nodded, “Yeah, ya know, kick it with the homies. Make out a little if you’re down. Friend stuff.”

Eddie’s jaw clenched, “You’re unbelievable. Just fucking unbe— you know, how can you even say any of that shit? How can we be ‘homies’ if we’ve never ‘hung out’ before? And don’t want to-- I’m not-- you don’t know me!”

There was something underlying in Eddie’s voice as he snapped, wavering at the end. Richie, like most things in life, was completely and utterly fucking up.

“Well then, how about we fix that?” Richie leaned forward, “I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna—“

Abruptly, Eddie stood up, grabbing his food and walked off, making his way towards the cafeteria line where Bill and Stan were paying for their lunch.

Richie looked around at all the watching faces, some snickering and others as shocked as he was.

“...Embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.”

He took a deep breath, and shoved some spaghetti in his mouth, his frown growing larger at the disgusting taste. Richie was often considered a wild card, but this was when routine was a good thing. He should’ve just avoided this and sparked up with Bev and Mike.

Actually, he was going to do just that. There was still some left in lunch, and no reason for him to stay in the cafeteria if Eddie was giving him the cold shoulder. More like a giant fucking iceberg but still, pointless. Besides, he really needed to get high now. Eddie ruined his whole mood and pissed him the fuck off.

Richie got up and tossed out the inedible garbage before going to the usual spot, finger itching for a joint.

He used his foot to push open the door, which would’ve been cool, except with his clumsiness and horrible luck he tripped forward, narrowly avoiding falling down the steps and face planting by grabbing the railing.

As Richie caught his breath and stabilized himself, he could hear his friends laughing.

“Back so soon?” Bev smirked knowingly, taking a drag.

Richie huffed, “Ha ha. Let’s yuck it up for my misfortune,” he grabbed her joint and took a long hit, “This fucking kid, Bev. I don’t think I can do this!”

“As in, you’re morally incapable of leading him on?” Mike asked hopefully.

“Please, let’s be realistic here Mikey. No, that kid is like, the fuckin devil incarnate. Shithead is fucking crazy!” Richie paced, smoking from the joint.

Bev laughed, “What makes you say that?”

“Why don’t ya ask the whole fucking school?” Richie snapped, though the anger wasn’t directed at her, “They were watching it all go down. If that wheezy asshole ruins my reputation—“

“What reputation?” Mike interjected.

Richie rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

Another voice spoke up, “I dunno, Richie’s pretty well known. I like him well enough.”

Richie whirled around, just noticing a new face among the usual group, Ben Hanscom.

The eternal new kid, since no one ever moved to ass backwards Derry, was not someone he’d expect to be behind the art building. Maybe reciting poetry or some shit, but not blazing. Ben was sweet and genuine, albeit a little shy. He was no longer the chubby kid he once was, more stocky and muscular now. They weren’t too close, as the tawny haired boy spent more time with Mike and Bev, and if not them, the other dorks (like Eddie and his friends). But either way, dude was pretty chill. Richie just didn’t really want him there mid-meltdown.

“Haystack?! You smoke?!” he whistled, “Ho-ly shit, who woulda thought!”

Ben shook his head, “Uh, no I don’t. Mike and I just had to study for history next block.”

His deep brown eyes flitted to Beverly, who had now stolen back her joint and was playing with the key that hung from her neck. Yeah, studying was the only reason. Not Ben’s excruciatingly obvious crush on the red head.

“We would’ve just gone to the library, but Bev and I made a bet about if you’d be successful or not today,” Mike said.

Richie gasped, “Betting on my failure? Fuck you guys, Benny Boy is my new best friend.”

“I didn’t sign up for that.”

“Hey, I bet on you succeeding,” Mike put his hands up in surrender, “She’s the one who thought you’d screw it up.”

“And I was right. Pay up,” Bev smiled, holding out her palm.

Mike dropped a candy bar in it with a deep sigh. She tore open the wrapping, taking a savage bite of the chocolatey sweet.

“I think you have a gambling problem,” Mike quipped.

Bev shrugged, “Not a problem if I keep winning.”

She grinned, her teeth covered in chocolate and spit. Gross. Ben still looked enraptured. Double gross.

“Anyways, can we focus on the important bet, and the fact that this fuck is impossible! Seriously, Bev, babygirl, pick anyone else!” Richie whined, plopping his bony ass on the cement.

“First off, don’t call me ‘babygirl’,” she flicked the ash off the end of the joint at him, “Second, the deal was anyone. You either woo him or you don’t.”

Richie opened his mouth to complain again but Ben beat him to it.

“I’m sorry, but what are we talking about?”

The other three looked at each other in panic. Ben was friends with Eddie, there was no way he could find out what was going on. The whole thing would be ruined before it started.

“Nothin!” Richie squeaked, “Just uh… bet that I couldn’t ace a group project. I usually just bullshit a lot of that stuff and leave it up to the others if I can. Partner’s just a little… high strung.”

Bev groaned and Mike sighed. A horrible fucking lie. Richie was already trying to formulate a better one in his head.

Ben smiled, “That’s nice, a wholesome, supportive bet. But you really should just communicate with your partner. They might be nervous because of your history is all.”

Richie let out a sound of relief before realizing Ben’s advice could actually be helpful.

“Sure, but I already tried to talk to him and it didn’t go well,” he explained.

Bev and Mike raised their brows, catching on.

“Well, how did you talk to him?” Ben asked, “Was it an ambush or a friendly conversation?

Bev snorted, “Ambush, knowing Richie. He doesn’t do friendly conversations.”

“Maybe with you, because you’re on my ass all the time,” Richie shot back, “But uh, she’s right. Shouldn’t matter though, everyone knows that’s how Tough Guy Tozier does his business.”

Mike groaned, “Please don’t call yourself that ever again.”

“You’re just coming on too strong. You have to consider what he likes, what he wants. A good partnership comes with compromise and communication,” Ben nodded sagely.

Richie ruffled his hair, putting on his trusty British voice, “Thank you Advisor Hanscom. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.”

Ben smiled awkwardly, his eyes going to Bev once again, “Course.”

He took the joint from Bev, inhaling the musty smoke and blowing it out his nostrils, the burning sensation familiar and welcome.

“And maybe, you should talk to him sober next time,” Mike suggested.

Richie laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

By the time the final bell rang, he was still feeling defeated and unsure of his next move. Sure, he’d have to dial back his trashmouth charm, try to seem actually invested in Eddie but… that wasn’t going to happen if the brat never talked to him again. Richie had to find a way to break the tension between them, start fresh.

He sulked to his locker, pulling out his shit from the looming mess. Loose binder paper and pencils fell onto the ground, and Richie just wanted to bang his head against the wall of metal. Also, go home and smoke while playing video games but, mostly, hit his head repeatedly. Maybe he’d lose enough brain cells to forget the entire day.

After a few moments of excessive cursing, Richie grabbed what he needed and got everything that fell back into the locker. He noticed a new post it on the door just before he closed it.

Don’t give up :) <3 - mike

Richie smiled, and slammed the locker shut with a resounding clang. With a little stretch and a fix of his glasses, he strolled through the halls, making his way to the parking lot to wait for Mike.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bill and Stan loitering around the halls as well, engaged in (an undoubtedly boring) conversation.

He remembered Bill and Eddie’s facebook status’ about exciting plans for tomorrow night and decided he should investigate.

“Billiam! Staniel!” Richie called as he approached them, “What’s up?”

The two stopped talking and looked up, Bill smiling while Stan rolled his eyes.

“H-hey, Richie,” Bill waved.  Richie noted that his stutter had gotten a lot better just over the past year. The two of them had shared a few classes when they were juniors and were pretty friendly with one another. At least compared to his relationship with Eddie and Stan, who also seemed to hate him for no reason.

Speaking of, the prim and proper boy was glaring at him, “Didn’t get enough of being a nuisance at lunch?”

Richie raised a brow, “Whatever do you mean?”

Stan scoffed, and opened his mouth to respond, but Bill put a hand on his shoulder, “N-nothing. Stan’s just… on edge. What’s up w-with you?”

“Not much, just trying to figure out what my plans are for tomorrow,” Richie shrugged, “Got any suggestions?”

“The only thing on your mind is where to party? Not surprised,” Stan quipped.

Richie shoved his hands in his pockets, biting his tongue. Snapping at Eddie was what caused his whole operation to go south, and he couldn’t mess up this second chance.

Bill ignored the tension between them, “Well, usually w-we don’t do t-t-too m-much, but it’s s-senior year. Probably going to Peter Gordon's party.”

“That kid’s an ass.”

“Coming from you, that’s rich,” Stan commented, his arms crossed.

His grinned, “Well, yeah, I am Rich.”

Stan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, he is, but he’s also s-super wealthy,” Bill avoided another ‘rich’ pun, “Meaning he’ll h-h-ave q-q-quality shit.”

Richie beamed, “Ah, I get it. You’re Robin Hood-ing that fuck. I like your style Billy Boy.”

He clapped Bill on the shoulder, and the other boy blushed slightly, “W-well, it wasn’t j-just my idea. Eddie and Stan helped.”

“Eddie? He’s coming with you guys?”

Bill shook his head, “N-no. He was supposed to, b-b-but that art thing came up so he h-had to cancel.”

“Art thing?” Richie asked, suddenly intrigued. This was the information he wanted.

“Yeah,” Bill nodded, “It’s this show that happens every month. At Jester Theatre. He always goes.”

Stan not so subtly elbowed Bill in the ribs, hissing at him to shut up.

“W-what?!”

“Yeah, what’s got your steamed panties in a twist Uris?” Richie smirked.

Stan sent him a scowl, “You know very well Tozier. Eddie told us all about what you did at lunch. Back the fuck off.”

“S-stan, I don’t think he meant--”

“No, Bill, he did,” Stan interrupted, “I don’t know what your game is, but if you hurt him…”

Richie put his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I’m not going to hurt him. He seems pretty strong anyways. I mean no harm.”

Stan didn’t look convinced at all. Fair enough.

The air between the two was tense, but Bill broke it by clearing his throat, “So, uh, will w-we see you at the p-p-party?”

Richie shook his head ‘no’, “Probably not. I have some more sophisticated plans lined up.”

a/n: hope you liked it! next chapter is p much all richie and eddie so get excited. if you enjoyed i would love hearing your feedback

oh and this is eddie’s gay hat if you were curious

[finnlet]

Sans the skeleton went into a coffee shop on September 13th, 2019. He came in for a americano because it was one of the few things that warmed his cold heart. He took it black and added nothing special to it. He loved bitterness.

Then, he saw him. Kokichi Ouma. The Ultimate Supreme Leader. He felt something in his bones, an aching sensation to go meet him. He went to the barista and read his nametag.

"Hey.... Komaeda. give me a freakin' americano! no sugar, no creamer, just make it black and venti. thanks."

"um. ok. i'll get it going for you... sans"

"whatever."

Sans and Komaeda had been a couple back in 2015 but they broke up due to Komaeda cheating on him with another man named Hajime.

========

"S-SANS? IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. H-HE... UM..." komaeda screamed

"OH BUDDY YOu'RE SET TO HAVE A BAD TIME NOW. PREPARE YOURSELF" sans shouted.

sans threw a lamp at hajime, who ran out screaming and crying. komaeda moved out of sans' house and went to move in with hajime. oh well.

========

Sans went over to the little purple haired man who was sitting on his macbook writing an email.

"Hey... you look kinda cute. Wanna get sansy?" sans asked.

"what the fuck lol. are you cursed. im going to send a picture of u to korekiyo lmao. maybe he knows whats happening" ouma said, taking out his phone

"wha.... what the hell are you talking about" sans asked

"korekiyo knows about weird shit so he'd probably know what you are you cursed halloween decoration"

*snap*

ouma mumbled as he typed: "hey... dude .... look at this... weird shit at starbucks"

"Im not a decoration, i'm a skeleton." sans said.

"oh. So do skeletons have dicks."

"I can show you if you come back to my place later." sans said WITH A SMIRK.

"...I think i'll take you up on your offer. i've always been curious about what happens when all the flesh falls off  lol. TIME TO SEE SKELTON DIK." ouma shouted.

the other patrons of starbucks turned and looked at him.

saihara, who was hanging out with kaede, kaito, maki, kiibo, and korekiyo, ran over.

"Ouma shut the fuck up you're so loud and annoying." saihara said

"ok" ouma said

"hey who the hell are you. im trying to hook up with this dude and you're here yelling at him" sans growled. he was rumbling like a machine. his eye went blue.

"well if you really want to know I'm... Shuichi Saihara. They call me the Ultimate Detective, but... lol. you know, you give off the same awful aura that ouma gives me. two peas in a pod i guess" saihara said, eyeing sans.

*snapchat noficiation sound*

"...korekiyo is right there but he sent me a fucking snapchat message back. what a creep." ouma sighed. opening it, he huffed a HUGE GROAN.

"are you even a real fucking anthropologist? why do you know the history of farming but not skeletons." ouma shouted across the restaurant.

"BE QIET SIMPLETON." maki shouted back angrily. she was beyond pissed off.

“Har har har!” ouma laughed heartily.

“SANS? WILL YOU PLEEEEEASE PICK UP YOUR COFFEE. IT’S BEEN DONE FOR LIKE, 10 MINUTES NOW.” komaeda shouted through the microphone.

“Fucking hell ok” sans said, walking off. He picked it up and walked back over towards Ouma.

“That guys my ex. Hes kind of weird isnt he :) i threw a lamp at his boyfriend when they tried to cuck me. LOL” sans chortled. He sounded like a wind chime when he laughed.

“Komaeda is cool, he gives me free milk and cheese samples since I told him i’m an orphan from tokyo. What a fucking idit he is for believing me am i right?! i have my macbook pro and my iphone x AND MY AIRPODS, plus my ipad pro and these cool yeezys.” ouma laughed. he was so fucking sneaky.

“what do you use the ipad for if you already have a macbook” sans asked. he had nothing but an iphone x and some air jordans :/”

“I use that to watch family guy, WHA TTH EFUCK DO YOU THINK? Do you think i don’t like the best program of our time? I love seeing Peter Griffin appear on my screen. he fills me with lust. Dare say you that you…. dislike family guy?” ouma went on monologuing.

“n-no i didnt say i hated family guy i just-”

“ANDDD YOU’RE JUST LIKE KIBOY! HAR HAR HAR! He hates family guy! He can’t stand it. nobody at that noob table likes it. the only people who like family guy at my school are me, ryoma, angie, and himiko. Tenko watches it but only because she has a crush on lois. lol” ouma sighed.

the starbucks went quiet aside from the sipping sounds and weird ass pop music. today’s playlist included: “fake love” (A/N: STREAM FAKE LOVE :]), “two trucks”, and “like a farmer.”

ouma specifically requested this because he knew everyone hated the music, but komaeda felt bad for him and kept the same three songs on.

“Ouma Kokichi. One of your little friends over there just told me that you AREN’T AN ORPHAN?” komaeda said. he was crying.

“w-WHO. WHO SAID THAT LOL. IT’S A… THEY’RE LYING.” ouma shouted. he was so scared. he knew that komaeda had kept note of how much free starbucks shit he’d gotten and it was well over 4,500 dollar.s

“idk. that one.” komaeda pointed at kiibo.

“OHHH KIBOYYYYYYYYYY. He’s a robot, Nagito. You can’t trust Robots!” ouma laughed.

“That is blatant robophobia! I will report you to the proper starbucks authorities if you keep up this act Ouma!” kiibo shouted.

“shut up you ugly bag of bolts” ouma growled aggain.

kaede, korekiyo, and saihara looked alarmed. every day kiibo and ouma fought in the bathroom and caused some type of flooding to happen. once they lined up a bunch of fruits and vegetables and flooded the bathroom and they all ended up in the hallway.

“Kaede. Saihara. It’s been… nice, but I will leave now. I do not like being around Ouma.” korekiyo said.

“w-wait man donT LEAVE YET.” saihara said. he was sweating like a pig. he knew that kiibo liked having saihara on his side and ouma always punched himb (saihara) in the ribs to give him a bruise.

“yeah you shouldn’t leave yet…😀 please” kaede begged.

“You have Maki and Kaito. I’m fairly certain they can fight better than us.” korekiyo said, already halfway to the door.

“He’s right you know.” kaede said. she and saihara said goodbye through their tears and turned to ouma and kiibo again.

“MAN I’M ALL FIRED UP, CAN’T BELIEVE THAT OUMA IS FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH KIIBO AGAIN AND IN PUBLIC THIS TIME” kaito shouted. he was so full of energy because he had accidentally gotten coffee with extra sugar.

“kaito shut up” maki said.

“CAN’T STOP ME NOW…. IM HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME DON’T WANNA STOP AT ALL” kaito said. he did not know the lyrics right.

“c-can you guys please leave” said two men sitting in a booth. it was george michael and andrew ridgeley. they were visiting japan today for their tour and decided to get some unicorn frappuccinos to drink.

sans was staring in anticipation at everyone. ouma and kiibo were glaring at each other and komaeda could only watch in horror.

“Lets take this outside man. maybe it’ll rain and you’ll get rusty and die. LOL.” ouma screamed. he was in hysterics now.

“OH. YOU’VE DONE IT NOW. YES, WE’RE GOING TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW. OUTSIDE. SAIHARA, KAEDE, KAITO, MAKI, K…. where did korekiyo go” kiibo said

“He left bc you guys are fucked up” maki said. she wanted to leave when she saw ouma but didn’t have the heart to say it to everyone. ouma always ruined the plans.

“wha…. NO?” kiibo said. he cried one tear.

“>implying you can use everyone. YOU ONLY GET TWO OF THOSE PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM DUMBASS.” ouma shouted

“t-team?!” saihara gasped. he was 💩ing bricks.

“for the BEST TEAM, i, kokichi Ouma, pick: kaito and maki. kiboy gets saihara and kaede! lmao have fun with weaklings.” ouma said.

“can you all leave already, you’RE SCARING THE CUSTOMERS AWAY AND ITS RUINING BUSINESS.” the manager (teruteru) said angrily.

“oh fuck off you ant.” ouma said, dragging everyone out into the back lot. komaeda and sans were dumbfounded. there was virtually no rehearsal for that.

CHAPTER TWO START:::

“Ouma you have insulted me for the last time. today is a new start. kaede, saihara, and i will now proceed to defeat you.” kiibo shouted. he was fucking confident in his abilities today.

“kiboy you will lose in one minute. im sorry to say it. wait, NO IM NOT. fucking hellion. seth mcfarlane personally blessed me with family guy so i am invincible.” ouma said.

“ouma do i have to help you. i dont want to fight my sidekick OR KAEDE. o-or KIIBO :)” kaito asked.

“yes shrimp. you must fight for me because i recruited you and that’s how this bullshit works. don’t worry though! it’ll only take one pow and kiboy will be knocked out because he’s rusty and old. NEEHEEHEE.” ouma was fucking laughing his ass off.

maki and kaito looked at each other and gave the most sorry looks to kaede and saihara. they honestly didn’t Want to help ouma because they thought he was a fucking asshole but ouma could blackmail them and potentially kill them. no risks. kaede and saihara knew this but were still hurt.

“Ouma I have a doctor’s appointment in like, 15 minutes. can i leave yet” kaede said.

“wha…? w-well… you’re goign to hav eto recruit someone else to fight in your place since saihara wouldn’t win against me in a million years lol.” ouma said. he was so fucking annoyed. he just wanted to punch kiibo already.