#I was talking to my boss about my thing about ladders

[mr-snailman]

hmmm okay so like. I'm kinda in this weird place right now where... like... it's not that bad? and it would be sooooo easy to be like, nahhhh, it's not that bad, there's nothing wrong with me, it's not like I'm actively trying to kill myself, everybody thinks about it sometimes, right? BUT I'm also thinking that maybe it's better to get a handle on this shit before it gets worse, yanno? like okay, maybe I should listen to the early warning signs and go talk to somebody, and if it does turn out to be nothing, that's great! but if it does get worse, it won't be AS bad because I'll have taken steps to shore up my defenses ahead of time.

[muchmossymess]

I need to stop sleeping all day its giving me wild as fuck dreams

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.

[luveline]

Hiiii sugarplum. I would absolutely adore some stripper reader x Hotch maybe like some of him comforting her or just coming to visit like outside of the case and some fluff 🥰🥰

ty for requesting!! fem

You’re texting on the wall outside of work when a shadow cuts across the streetlight illuminating your lap. Your head flinches up, phone to your chest, but the man standing in front of you isn’t one you’ve ever been scared of. “Fuck, Aaron, you scared me,” you say with a nervous laugh. 

He smiles at you in his gentle, unassuming way. “Sorry. I took care to scuff my shoes as I walked.”

“Oh, you took care,” you say. Your smile is far less gentle than his; your cheeks apple, your words coloured with it. “I was in my own world.” 

“I thought we talked about you coming outside alone.”

“Did we?” you ask, the short wall you’re sitting on biting into your hands and thighs as you tip back to grin at him teasingly. “Gosh, I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner, I can’t seem to remember any such talk.” 

“Mm.” He rolls his eyes. “You don’t remember that?” 

“Don’t recall, no.”

“So you also won’t remember the conversation we had about flowers.” 

Your first date, your only date, and your first bouquet. He’d given you flowers and read the embarrassment on your face immediately. You aren’t the kind of girl who gets flowers. 

What’s wrong? he’d asked. 

You’d held the flowers to your chest, something in you worried he’d take them away, though you’re almost positive he’s incapable of being cruel like that. Do I look stupid? 

Of course you don’t. 

There hadn’t been much else to say about the flowers, until after the evening had gone well, and he’d asked you for another date. High with the delight of knowing Spencer’s nice, handsome boss doesn’t just think you’re pretty, he likes you, you’d said Sure, if you bring me another lovely bouquet, we can go on as many dates as you like. 

Aaron pulls the bouquet from behind his back. Petals bounce off of his tie, pinks and whites and baby blues against his black blazer and pristine white shirt as he taps his chest. They’re beautiful, and far too many. 

“Are they really for me?” you ask. You’ve never seen such a big bouquet in your life. It’s a wonder they fit behind his back. 

The strangest thing about dating him has been his sudden propensity for moments of shyness. “That depends,” he says, the slightest hint of nerves in his otherwise dulcet tone, “are they nice enough?” 

“They’re the prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen.” You stand up and hold out your hands, pull them back to your chest, and then hold them back out again. You can’t not want them. 

He hands them off to you. 

It must be weird for him to meet you like this. He’s very high up the ladder of his career, and it doesn’t make much sense for him to fall for you. You’re younger, less educated, less prestigiously employed. You hadn’t understood what it was about you that pulled him in, but you can remember how clearly he told you he was interested in you. No shame. Not a hint of reluctance. He’s bringing you flowers outside of the stripclub, ignoring the fact that you’re in sweatpants and a tight corset-type bra, and he hasn’t looked at your body once. 

“I was just texting you,” you say, opening your phone to press send on the text waiting in the hot bar. 

Aaron’s phone immediately pings. 

He reads it quickly. It isn’t a long message. Hi, handsome. Want to pick me up tonight? 

If he’d said yes or no didn’t matter, because you’d just wanted to talk to him, and here he is. 

He finally ducks in. A half side step into your reach, his face angled down, he kisses you chastely on the lips and everything fades away. The neon pink at your feet, the buzzing streetlights and the passing cars, the steady thump of music from three different buildings, it all disappears under his warm hand. He kisses you, and he hugs you to his chest, careful not to crush your flowers. You could glow from the inside out. 

He’s still smiling as he pulls away. “Are you hungry?” he asks softly. 

“So hungry.” 

“We can get anything you want.” 

“Really? What if I want the same as last time?” 

It had been expensive and you’d felt vaguely underdressed. Aaron doesn’t baulk. “Anything you want… You may need to wear my jacket, though. I don’t think your current outfit adheres to their dress code.” 

You push the flowers just under his nose. “Funny.”

[unreliablesnake]

Tough choice (Simon Riley x reader)

Summary: After a successful mission, you get a lot of job offers. But there's one that gets your attention.

Note: We lost a hero, it's hard to fill his shoes. / This will probably get another part where Simon confesses his feelings. And tells the reader about what he thought of them during the first meeting.

Warnings: character death mentioned

Ever since that mission last year, people have been extremely interested in getting you on their side. You were swimming in options, going from briefing to briefing to find that one job which managed to pique your interest. The CIA wanted you higher up the ladder, giving you more responsibilities, while some PMC’s sniffed out what happened and were now trying to sweep you off your feet. Shadow Company offered a fortune for your services, but even Phillip Graves’s charm wasn’t enough to convince you.

And now Laswell brought you an opportunity that made you think. Task force 141. “Ask Alex for reference,” was all she said before handing you the number of Captain John Price. 

It took days to get a hold of your friend, but once you did, he spoke highly of the team he helped out every now and then. “I think they need you to fill some big shoes. A sergeant was KIA and now Ghost needs a partner on the field,” he explained.

“Ghost?”

“Mhm. Man’s a mystery, but he’s damn good at what he does. If I were you, I would go for it.”

So you called Price and organized a meeting with him. This was the first round of the interview process, the opportunity to learn more about your possible future boss, the team, and, of course, how they operate. The captain works with a sergeant called Gaz, while Ghost had worked with Soap, another sergeant who had been KIA. That latter you already knew from Alex. 

Price told you to visit the base the next time they're all there, and you gladly accepted the invitation. The team’s mystery man, the one you would have to work with, grabbed your attention. His superior spoke highly of him, and the fact Alex also emphasized that he was excellent at what he did made you curious. He certainly lived up to his call sign by keeping his identity so hidden. You didn’t know his name, you didn’t know his age, you didn’t know what he looked like. All you knew is that he was a Brit, just like Price and Gaz. 

It took your schedules to align almost four weeks, but eventually you made it to their location and were greeted by the captain as if you were already a member of their team. His warm smile brought one to your lips too, and you soon found yourselves deep in a conversation about Kate and Alex. He liked working with them, and despite Alex being labeled a deserter, the team often crossed paths with him. That was good. Meeting him every once in a while would be nice.

“Ghost is waiting for us in my office,” Price began to say, only to pause for a brief moment when he stopped in front of a door. “But I think I’ll give you two the chance to talk alone. I already told him about you, even mentioned that I want you to work with us, but he has to be the one to finalize our decision.”

Nodding, you waited for him to open the door, then stepped inside the dimly lit room. The window shades were pulled down and the only source of light came from the small lamp on the desk. Ghost was sitting in the swivel chair behind it, his eyes scanning a file that you assumed was yours.

You opened your mouth to say something, but Ghost interrupted you right away. “I want you on my team,” he stated sternly as if it was an order, then threw the file on the top of several other documents. 

Despite your best efforts to keep things professional, a snort coming from you filled the room upon hearing his words. “So does everybody else,” you informed him, slowly folding your arms over your chest. “I already turned down several offers. Convince me; why should I pick this team?”

The lieutenant stood up and walked over to you, finally letting you realize just how much bigger he was. He was intimidating, yes, but that didn’t stop you from keeping eye contact with him. “You know Laswell. If you trust her, you can trust us,” he said.

“It’s not a matter of trust.”

“Then what do you want to hear?”

A sigh left your lips. It wasn’t about the money. If it was, you would be working for Shadow Company now. To be honest, you didn’t even know what you wanted from the job. But there was one question that bugged you since you first heard about this guy. “Are you a good person?” you asked him seriously.

Since you could only see a small part of his face, you almost missed that surprised glint in his eyes. “No,” came his answer. 

For a few moments you just watched him, thinking about his response. He was honest, that you truly appreciated, but you could hear something in his voice that you couldn’t quite place yet. Regret? Pain? Doubt? Self-hate? Whatever it was, it made him sound and look human. Without realizing what you were doing, you took a step closer to him, making this giant man lean his hips against the desk to build back some distance. 

“When can I start?” 

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed the way his large fingers tightly gripped the edge of the desk at your words, as if he was trying to ground himself. Was he thinking about the sergeant he had lost? If it was you, your mind would always return to the person who died under your command. What if this one dies too? You would be asking yourself this over and over again. So you didn’t want to rush him, you just stood there and waited for him to pull himself together. 

And then, after several minutes of deafening silence, he finally spoke up. “Good decision. Price will tell you the details,” Ghost informed you before moving past you to rush out the door.

[pparacxosm]

hunger is ugly

(blue-eyed son 3 !! which, as any third and final installation of a franchise ((back to the future and spiderman withstanding !!!)), is obviously the best one; i’m only half kidding; homeless era!patrick zweig x jaded businesswoman!reader; see parts one and two; tw eggnog; tw coworkers; cw smut but nothing crazy; if you’re seeking closure don’t hold your breath; i’m sick of these two; they clearly don’t know what they want; and i refuse to take blame; tw fitted sheets; tw cocaine talk)

He once told you he couldn’t wear a suit. I couldn’t, he’d said, I’d look ridiculous in a suit. But he cleans up quite nicely, actually.

In fact, he looks good, and you’re not above admitting that. He looks better, actually. Healthier. And he looks handsome in his casual blazer and charcoal linen slacks. Oh God, are you gonna look frumpy beside him?

“I’ve always wanted to go to an office Christmas party,” he says.

You’re on the floor before him, straddling your full length mirror, and all your tumbledown, halfway gutted makeup products are strewn wildly about you.

Your bed, behind you, is a skeleton state, too. When he’d come over, he’d nearly laughed at the fact that you’ve apparently been so busy, your clean bedding is still sitting in a laundry hamper in the corner of the room, and you’ve been sleeping in the inserts on a bare mattress for who knows how long.

Patrick doesn’t pass judgment on the mess in your apartment. He still feels he owes you in some weird, kiss-the-hand-that-fed-you sort of way.

You’re not a slob. You always look put together when you leave the house. You’ve just had to focus on work. You can’t stumble at the finish line. Or… the glass ceiling. Or the penultimate rung on the corporate ladder. Whatever. If you can successfully execute this next product launch, who knows what other doors might open for you. Probably doors in buildings very similar to the one you’re already working in. But that’s nothing to sneeze at. Every morning, you see your reflection in those immaculate windows.

So anyway, it shouldn’t matter. Things just get away from you sometimes.

Patrick’s standing above you pensively reflecting how many undone buttons says Corporate Shindig Eyecandy (Please Give My Date That Promotion) as opposed to Reformed Tennis Heartthrob. His shins are sort of bracketing your hips.

“Well, it’s half an office Christmas party, and half—like—a congratulatory… thing. For Deirdre’s successful proposal,” you murmur, leaning forward, tugging your temple to flatten your eyelid and flick on your liner.

“Aw, what?” he frowns, “Deirdre? We fucking hate Deirdre.”

You laugh. You try not to delude yourself, not to let these moments exist in some flowery vacuum in the eye of your mind, not to ask him to fix your bedding for you. But it’s hard.

Whoever let Sam replace the DJ halfway through the party was either a genius anarchist or too drunk to care.

You know it’s probably the latter. You down the cognacheavy eggnog from your glass and make a disgruntled face. You don’t know what you expected. Shania Twain is belting from the speakers while Sam wiggles his headphones in a dumb, awkward dance.

He’s pretty funny, all things considered, but you’d still like nothing better than to whack him up the head with an ink cartridge.

One of the blousy interns from your department is haplessly flirting with Patrick, pretending he bumped into her and made her plash some eggnog on herself, but she’s trying to be selfaware about it.

“Oh gosh, isn’t this such a cliché: the boss’ plus one wiping a dairybased drink from the subordinate’s—… oh no, I know she’s not technically my boss, but she’s sort of my senior within the company, like on the general corporate ladder, argh, I know, I hate it!”

She could’ve said superior, you think, instead of senior.

You’re feeling too pissy to go and save him from that failed interaction. You turn your back to the crowd and look out of the glossy black windows. That chorus keeps stomping its pointed heels over your fragile nerves.

The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun!

Do you have a little fun? Are you a Good Time? You have to laugh. It’s just a stupid song. But you need the validation.

That’s why Patrick picks the wrong moment to come and talk to you.

“Hey, this chick is chasing me with a napkin around the room.”

You snort. “Not my problem.”

Patrick leans against the buffet, delivering a wry salute when Sam points at him from the DJ booth and winks. “That guy’s something,” Patrick chuckles, “He asked me to sign his dick.”

“Did you?”

Patrick hums like he’s ambivalent and places a large hand on the small of your back. “Would that be good for you, if I did?”

“I’m fun, right?”

You swirl the remains of eggnog in your glass. You ask the question like he’s been holding out some big secret from you.

Patrick blinks. He scoffs in disbelief, but also smirks pointedly at your glass. “You’re asking me?”

You stare at him through the briar lace of your eyelashes. Everyone who’s met him today has had their own lashes drenched in laughter. You hadn’t realised it first. You’d figured those were mutually exclusive things, downandout charm and the breathing room of comfortable success. But no. He’s charming, anyway. It’s just that he’s not haggling for scraps of generosity anymore so much as he’s lapping at the fleeting dregs of likability. And you hate that you notice that, and you hate that you notice him, that you know him, in a sense. Because what are you supposed to do about it?

“Everybody loves you. Just… be objective.”

Patrick still laughs. He rubs his stubble. He should’ve shaved this morning. He thought he was doing something for you, something nice, by coming with you to this thing and wooing everybody’s pants a little tighter, but maybe he’d missed the mark. “You know I can’t be objective.”

“Why not?” You sound petulant, leaning angrily against the buffet. You’re old enough to know what he’s saying, of course. He’s being nice. He’s telling you he thinks you’re fun, that the rest shouldn’t matter, but then he doesn’t need anything. Even when he had nothing. So he wouldn’t get it. He wouldn’t notice.

Patrick tilts his head and narrows his eyes in that way he does when he’s vivisecting you, then clears his throat. “You’re drunk.” He laughs again, a little gratuitous. Then, after a while, “I have fun with you. You’re engaging.”

“Engaging?” you echo, frowning. “Seriously? What am I, an essay?”

“No, I just— Jesus, what do you want me to say?”

You clench your jaw. Okay, you are drunk and you’re at this office party from hell and a hard rain’s a-gonna fall, so goddamn it, he will call you fun.

So you get right into his face. You’re good at that, even if you barely reach his shoulder. “Tell me I’m fun, because I am, and you think I am.”

You try to swat his hand away, but his palm stays put, a hot magnet just above your tailbone, and he doesn’t even look like he’s doing it on purpose. It’s just that he feels an emptiness in his stomach, depressing but also thrilling. Like taking a hit. Like you’re a little bag of white powder. Beyond the dark windows it starts to snow. He used to do a bit of coke, when everything around him dropped dead and started to rot, and he couldn’t stomach the smell. He doesn’t seem like the poster kid for moderation, but the coke was good, and he didn’t let it be any more than that. In fact, at times, the coke was great. The coke was fun. But he couldn’t live with the coke. You understand? He couldn’t settle down in New England and raise a cat with the coke.

“I don’t think I can win with you,” he murmurs, and, for his part, he at least sounds like he needs to change that.

It’s supposed to be a comfort fuck—and you call it fuck in your head dismissively—but it’s too raw and unknown. You’ve spent so much time in this questionable relationship with existence in his life. In and out. You thought you’d learned him, or at least learned the both of you, but his hands on you, his mouth on you—it’s frightening, finite, foreign. Somehow divorced from this man who, for all his egofueled casual mania, doles out intimacy like free samples.

This is what it feels like to watch him unravel, but it’s not just beggar’s desperation. No, he’s making room for someone else beside him in a way he hasn’t in a long time.

He keeps touching every part of you, frantically, trying to feel all of you, sinking his head between your thighs with a groan of relief, immersing himself in another body. But not just any body, because he keeps mouthing your name. As if to remind you that he is here, and you let him in. Because it matters that it’s you, that someone who knows him is letting him in. He’s humming to himself as you come against his fingers and mouth.

... hunger is ugly... souls are forgotten... I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it...

You like his full weight on you, sinking you into your undressed mattress, trapping you, suffocating you under his bottomless gloom. He has one hand on your thigh. He lifts it at an uncomfortable angle, sinking his cock deeper into you, making it ache. How does he know you like that, anyway? He doesn’t. He noticed.

You want to resent what he’s doing here, which is trying to ‘win with you’. Because he’s been on a winning streak, and you’re not about to spoil that.

And these demeaning, mechanical thoughts probably aren’t reflective of his inner monologue at the moment, but it’s easier to believe he doesn’t respect you than to contend with this whole thing.

You want to tell him, you don’t know what I like, but he starts talking about this tournament. There’s a match in Boston, for real this time. You’re having trouble paying attention.

You fall asleep with him still inside you, head on your chest, and you, crushed comfortably by his weight.  

You wake up before him. He must have rolled off you in the middle of the night. He’s sleeping next to you, one hand stretched towards you, head on the pillow at a strange angle.

You turn away quickly.

You sit on the edge of the bed, breathing in and out, staring at the heap of his cocktail wear on the floor. You feel sore and stupefied. You feel cramps in your muscles. You feel weak in the best and worst way possible. You keep breathing in and out, hoping you’re keeping quiet.

But he wakes up anyway.

You can feel his gentle eyes on the slightly hunched line of your back.

“Hey.”

“Morning,” you mumble, throat dry. Why does it have to be morning? Why does it always have to be morning?

“Come back here,” he says, as if it weren’t morning.

You shake your head softly.

His silence is edifying. It goes on for too long.

“You’re not gonna stay, are you?” you ask, serious and formal, gripping the edge of the mattress. You clench your jaw, body taut.

You can hear him swallow, throat working to get the syllables out.

“I’m not, like… leaving you.”

You close your eyes.

“No, I mean—yeah,” you chuckle miserably. “You’re probably doing the right thing. The best thing for you.”

You feel the tears slide out one by one, and your shoulders shake slightly.

“Please don’t cry.” He’s using that soft and primordially tentative voice he uses with your cat. “I’m not worth it.”

You look over your shoulder at him. “Then why is it so fucking hard to watch you go?”

It’s only recently you’ve started getting angry with him. You used to get grudgingly amused, perhaps vaguely reproachful, but now his stupid face just makes you livid.

His eyes tremble pensively. “I don’t know. But that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

You turn your head away, rolling and wiping your eyes at the same time. “I just don’t see how it could work.”

And there’s a door he could open for you. There’s something he could say at this juncture to reassure you, momentarily, that it could. But he can’t bring himself to lie, because he cares about you too much to take a bump of that powder.

He hangs his head and looks at the beautiful line of your back, memorising it.

Then he gets up.

“I’m gonna make coffee, then we can get that fucking fitted sheet on, alright?”

You nod absently. You don’t turn to look at him as he puts on his clothes.

He comes up to you before he leaves. He runs his finger under your chin and lifts it up. There’s a kitten scratch on his cuticle.

You could come watch the match.

But he doesn’t say that. You haven’t seen him play since New Rochelle. “I’ll fill the demon’s bowl. I think she’s starting to like me.”

You laugh, wiping more tears.

Patrick takes that hand, your hand, wet with tears, and brings it to his mouth. He kisses and licks the salt away. He keeps it there for a moment longer than he should. You gently pull away.

You only exhale when he’s gone.

Toby slinks out from behind your mirror, swishing her tail back and forth in contempt.

You narrow your eyes. “Oh, shut up,” you whisper.

[sheepwavehdg]

HDG story recs: Ongoing mid-long length works

Some more recs of stories that aren't front page on ao3 or SUPER commonly talked about. This time focusing on stuff you can sink your teeth into as they're currently updating;

Tears of lavender by callmeprismatic: a frustrated artist creates what might be feralist propaganda, and ends up in a wardship. an absolute hidden gem in the setting, criminally under-read.

Dollhouse by PyxxieStyxx: an egg is given an invitation to a mysterious dollhouse, but they definitely arent a doll themselves, definitely not...

Root Privileges by shitpostleft: a comedic story about a failgirl affini systems admin and her friends trying to get her to go outside. inspired by the idea of affini-swapping the cast of wellness check.

Ramifaction by fuckingterrify: a lawyer has her mind slowly eroded by the biorhythms of her Affini guardian. This story does some incredibly clever things, and is one of my absolute favorite stories in the entire setting.

Artful Manipulation by floof_likes_plants: while I am known as The Pladdy Writer, I was not the first. This story was, and it rules. An irate affini surgeon ends up helping a human who gets under his skin.

Empty shell by stimulacrum: an emotionally empty Terran prison guard helps arrange a defense from the alien invaders, until it turns out the invaders aren't quite so bad.

Irregular orbits by rocketmermaid: a safety scout on an outpost long abandoned by the accord is rescued from a killer solar flare by the affini. what first appears to be gentle help may be more manpulative than it seems. depraved kink and a heartfelt story of reconciliation ensues.

Knock upper bend over by sapphicsounds: a pregnancy kink mob-boss-to-housewife story. I have beta read the full thing, and it's one of the hottest things I have ever read.

Freedom's ember by kanagen: the ramifications of No gods no masters are explored in this sequel story set 60 years later.

Golden Ladder by ashinbloom: a depressed egg is rescued from a solar flare by a strangely human affini, and must navigate life in the compact.

Alder's Prize (M/f) /Adelira's prize (F/f) by Sheepwave and 4WheelSword- Hard noncon forcefem that plays out a lot like the original HDG but with the horny turned up to 11. Has both M/f and F/f versions. it's still my list and I'm still allowed to Include one of mine, plus I cowrote it so it's only half mine.

Sol is Short for Solace by witch_freya and Fluxom: a Terran rebel on the run goes on a hitchhiking space road trip and is constantly getting fucked along the way while her future owners stalks her prey from afar. this one is depraved and i fucking love it.

Angels on her shoulder by pyxxiestyxx: One of the setting's only drone fics, a rebel is given a mysterious latex suit that connects her to an affini from afar, and has to try to get out without being caught by her insane crewmates. yeah I'm including two by my girlfriend and nobody can stop me

[stelly38]

“I can’t remember how much bonking I did”  —Aidan Turner

With Ross Poldark behind him, the star of Di5ney’s adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals talks ’80s excess, intimacy coaches and beef brisket.

Here I am, avidly watching the first few episodes of Rivals, the sizzling new Disney+ treatment of Dame Jilly Cooper’s raunchy blockbuster, before my interview with dreamboat-y Aidan Turner, when my 22-year-old daughter walks into the room. “What the actual?” she cries, open-mouthed in horror. “Oh my God! What are they doing?”

I chide her prudishness. “Well, if you must know, Rupert Campbell-Black and a woman he probably just met have reached a shuddering climax on Concorde,” I explain. “Your generation didn’t invent sex, you know, darling – the Mile High Club has been around for…” but it turns out that’s not what’s triggered her.

“These people are SMOKING! On. A. Plane. Who even does that?” Everybody, that’s who. Welcome to the sassy, sexy 1980s, Missy. Double-breasted suits and taffeta skirts, booze, bonking, endless ciggies and hairstyles so fugly (the mullet, for pity’s sake?) as to have recently crept back into fashion. It’s all there: rampant sexism, social climbing and conspicuous consumption, to a banging soundtrack of Eurythmics, Hall & Oates, Haircut 100 and the rest – no idea how The Birdie Song got in there though. Did people really...? Yes, we did. Now run along. From the moment the opening credits roll on Rivals, it’s fair to say we are immersed in a very different, instantly recognisable universe.

I lapped up every transgressive minute. Why, dear readers, the last time I enjoyed a pleasure quite so guilty was when Aidan Turner took off his shirt in…  “I’m not here to talk about Poldark,” says Turner very politely, with a fabulously winning white smile, when we meet. So we don’t. At least for a bit. We are here, after all, to discuss his new role in this very different literary classic – and no, ladies, he’s not been cast as the libidinous blaggard Campbell-Black. As if. County Dublin-born Turner, 41, was a shoo-in for dashing Declan O’Hara, the saturnine Irish journalist turned reluctant chat-show host who finds himself at the epicentre of a battle royale in the cut-throat world of independent television. David Tennant plays Corinium TV boss Lord Baddingham, and Alex Hassell’s Rupert Campbell-Black has ascended to the lofty heights of Tory Minister for Sport.

I could try to explain, but that’s about all the primer you need – rest assured that with this high-budget adaptation, even the most loyal of Cooper’s fans will find themselves safe in its (wandering) hands. “Rivals is about the three things that fascinate all of us: sex, power and money,” says Turner. “That trifecta is especially potent when there’s a clash of status and class. Class informs all sorts of things, including the sex, which is sometimes completely transactional on both sides. From the very top to the very bottom of the ladder, everyone’s slightly on the make.”

Speaking of the top and indeed the bottom, the eight-part series employed not one but two intimacy coaches. “They had a lot of intimacy to coach,” confirms Turner breezily. “I think they really improve sex scenes because they encourage creativity and it all looks so much more authentic. There’s a lot of bonking. I want to say I did a lot of bonking – I can’t quite remember how much.”

Declan is very much the dark-eyed, watchful outsider, his integrity as deep-rooted as his humongous moustache – “artist’s own”, remarks Turner. (He speaks in mellifluous Irish tones and uses his own accent to play Declan.) Amid the jostling for supremacy in the first few episodes, Declan’s only crime appears to be wearing mustard socks on air and having sensuous congress with his own wife (played with exquisite brittleness by Victoria Smurfit).

Such uxoriousness appears borderline scandalous in Dame Jilly’s masterfully constructed world of egos, oneupmanship and serial adultery, which signals that despite being a workaholic, Declan is clearly a good ’un – although, to be fair, I have only seen the first three episodes.

“I hadn’t read Rivals before. It seemed very British so it wasn’t really on my radar, but it’s really fun – although later on it descends into something much murkier. I just read the scripts initially and then was really struck by how faithful they were to the book,” says Turner, who is married to the American Succession actor Caitlin FitzGerald, 41. “You get a real sense of the characters in the first 15 or 20 pages and it’s a mark of excellent writing that you feel you already know these people.”

Whether or not you like them is up to you, but it’s absolutely gripping and Turner’s character is right at the heart of the story. “Rivals is a really truthful depiction of an era that in a great many ways was hugely problematic,” says Turner. “It’s not being refracted through a modern lens and some of it is quite shocking, particularly the way women are treated. There’s also endless back-stabbing; Declan is detached, the one who sees what’s going on, and because he’s not from this class-bound world [he] struggles to understand the playbook – but he’s married to a woman who does and that causes tension.”

To research the role of a broadcasting homme sérieux, Turner trawled YouTube to watch hours of Firing Line, the US current-affairs talk show presented by conservative pundit William F Buckley Jr for 33 years. From 1966 to 1999, he verbally sparred with leading figures of the age.

“I felt it was important to look to older shows, the way they were presented and the communication style,” says Turner. “The interviewee would be given time and space to answer questions in full. These days it’s very different; the nearest we have to that now would be podcasts.”

“Once filming started, to be honest I was channelling my dad the whole time. He’s an electrician, not a journalist, but Declan is very like him – the way he carries himself, the tone of his voice, his passion. He feels very Irish and so does Declan.”

For Alexander Lamb, an executive producer on Rivals, finding the right fit for the pivotal character of Declan was crucial. “The very first person we thought about – the very first person we cast – for Rivals was Aidan. He was the lynchpin because he just felt so right; he’s got depth but also such charm and that was exactly what we wanted. A lot of the cast was built around him.” That cast also includes EastEnder Danny Dyer, Katherine Parkinson, best known for The IT Crowd, Emily Atack of Inbetweeners fame, and Claire Rushbrook, who was in the first series of Sherwood. When it came to Turner, Lamb had been impressed by his previous standout roles as a vampire in the supernatural series Being Human and a clinical psychologist in police procedural The Suspect.

“Aidan hadn’t played sexy-dad-with-teenagers or an intellectual journalist before, so that gave the whole thing a freshness. I think there’s a lot to be gained from getting actors out of their comfort zones,” observes Lamb. “I’ve never really worked with an actor before who was so conscious of his performance. He would come back behind the camera to see if he could improve on what he’d done.” Dame Jilly, adds Lamb, needed no persuasion in casting Turner. “It did not escape her just how good-looking Mr. Aidan Turner was. Let’s just say she became quite the fan.” Turner responds in kind, with unalloyed admiration. “Jilly is so sharp, perceptive and really funny – she’s very kind, but as she was seeing the daily and the weekly rushes I am quite certain that if she hadn’t liked what any of us were doing, she would have told us very swiftly.”

Later, he quietly relates a telling conversation with Cooper at a garden party held at her Gloucestershire gaff (to call it a pile would be too excessive, to call it a house too modest), one summer evening last year, after filming. “I remember a surreal moment when she took me by the arm and led me around the garden, pointing out the place where she would write and how she would look over the valley,” he says. “And then she pointed out the houses where her nearest neighbours and friends lived and said, ‘This is Declan O’Hara’s house, and that one’s Tony’s house,’ and explained how she would visualise the world of Rivals. It was a very special moment.” How magical, I say. He nods very slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching, eyes crinkling at the preciousness of the memory. He’s so unabashedly soulful, I almost have to look away. And so, to business: is Turner really as handsome as they say? Hmm. Maybe that’s what strikes you first but, in truth, it’s the least interesting thing about him.

Born in Clondalkin, a town outside Dublin, before the family moved to a suburb of the city, Turner admits he was never academically inclined. With a low boredom threshold, he struggled to concentrate at school, but when his accountant mother took him along to dance classes, he excelled; he went on to compete in ballroom dancing at national level, but lost momentum.

There was a stint working as an electrician with his father, but it was a job at the local cinema that sparked his interest in acting, entering the Gaiety School of Acting, Ireland’s national theatre school, where he graduated in 2004. After appearing in several theatre productions, including Seán O’Casey’s Easter Rising play The Plough and the Stars, he got his first major television gig in 2008 in the Irish hospital drama The Clinic.

“I was a lowly receptionist and Victoria Smurfit, who is my wife in Rivals, was a consultant,” he smiles. “Let’s just say we didn’t have a huge number of scenes together back then, so it’s great to catch up now.” Soon the BBC beckoned and he was cast as Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood drama Desperate Romantics. The six-parter failed to make a mark, but led to a critically acclaimed role in the comedy-drama Being Human, where he caught the eye of director Sir Peter Jackson, who cast Turner as the dwarf Kili in The Hobbit trilogy between 2012 and 2014.

Various other parts followed, culminating in his award-winning portrayal of Captain Ross Poldark in the 2015 revival of the BBC classic, which ran for five series and made him both a household name and a pin-up among ladies (and interviewers) d’un certain age.

After he was shown scything a field shirtless, a sheen of sweat on his ripped – sorry – torso, the Sunday-night concupiscence became so pronounced that media commentators called out the reverse sexism and denounced the reductive way in which Turner was being treated as a piece of prime meat. A decade on, he still seems mildly baffled, but not ungrateful, for the attention, if loath to dwell on it. “There are worse things to be known for than having a nice physique,” he says, philosophically. “But that was a long time ago and I’ve done a lot of fully clothed work since.” Hilariously, in Rivals, Declan finds himself sharing a schedule with a series called Four Men Went To Mow, featuring a quartet of topless hunks – with scythes. Turner almost leaps off the sofa when I bring it up. “I know! I was reading the script and when I saw the Four Men Went To Mow reference, I assumed someone was deliberately winding me up. Then I realised it was actually in the original book, so I took a deep breath and let it go.”

I can confirm he’s fully dressed for our interview, wearing a mustard top by British menswear brand Oliver Spencer, which he dryly describes as ‘drab chic’, Levi’s 501s, and a pair of trainers. He points out they are classic white Reeboks with a natural gum sole. I admit I didn’t know that was A Thing. “To be honest, neither did I,” he shrugs in good-natured agreement. “They were a present from a mate of mine – he’s a musician so far cooler than me, obviously – and he was very emphatic that the soles were a big deal.”

On his wrist is a 1969 Omega Seamaster. “It cost less than £2,000, it was an anniversary gift and the only watch I own,’”he offers, pre-emptively. “Oh, and I’m not sponsored by Omega, none of that.” Would he like to be? I ask mischievously. “Ah well, I’d certainly take the phone call. You always like to have options.” This is all the more interesting because later I ask if there’s any truth in tabloid rumours that he has variously been earmarked as the new Bergerac and the next James Bond. He denies both charges. “But you’d take the calls presumably?” I suggest. A pregnant pause follows. “You know, I don’t think I would. I have to say I think I’d pass on those.” Bergerac I can understand – but intimations of 007 are, like talk of knighthoods, not to be trifled with, much less dismissed out of hand, however cat’s-chance unlikely.

Turner just pulls a slightly apologetic face (possibly for the benefit of his aghast agent reading this). But really it should come as no surprise; Turner has built up a reputation as a protean performer, moving seamlessly between television, film and the stage in a variety of markedly different roles. Last year he appeared opposite Jenna Coleman in a minimalist two-hander, the West End revival of Sam Steiner’s 2015 fringe hit Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons, about love and language. Director Josie Rourke says she cast Turner not just because he is ‘brilliant’, but because he has an ability to connect with his character and with the audience.

“Aidan is a very technical and focused actor who really works hard to prepare – in that respect he’s not dissimilar to David Tennant. That might make him sound dour or serious, but he’s very personable and funny,” says Rourke, a former artistic director of the Donmar Warehouse in London. “He’s acutely aware, in a lovely way, of every single person in the room. There’s something fundamentally unselfish about his performances.”

Off stage, Turner leads a quiet life with his family in an 18th-century house in east London, which he famously furnished with the table and chairs from the Poldark set in Cornwall. He looks amused when I wonder aloud if he hangs out – virtually or actually – with the slew of young Irish actors, like Paul Mescal and Barry Keoghan, who have made a name for themselves. “It sounds boring but I work, and then when a project is finished I start reading scripts again,” he says. “I’m not on social media, I don’t get wrapped [up] comparing myself to anyone else. Frankly, it’s hard enough keeping track of my own career. Since the birth of our son, my wife and I have agreed that only one of us will take a job away from home at any given time; we’ve not [had] a clash yet but we’ll have to see what happens when the time comes.”

They did, however, both have plays on in the West End at one point last year; he was appearing in Lemons while she was in The Crucible. “It worked out really well, we headed out in different directions during the day, catching up with friends and getting stuff done, far too busy to see each other,” he recalls. “Each of us did our show then we would meet up afterwards and share a cab home. It was really fun, but that sort of synchronicity is quite rare.” Like a lot of actors, Turner is guarded when it comes to discussing his personal life. Although frenzied interest from the paparazzi has calmed down post-Poldark, every so often pictures do appear in the tabloids – and Rivals will no doubt increase his bankability. It is something he accepts with equanimity.

“If I do get snapped, I don’t make a fuss or get angry, but I try to stay out of the way.” I remind him of a very striking photo of him putting the rubbish out in a frankly extraordinary receptacle. “Ah yes, maybe I should get rid of the fluorescent pink wheelie bin, a bit of an own goal,” he sighs.

I bet he doesn’t. Far too much of a compromise. I do manage to winkle a few details out of him by playing my fellow Irishwoman card and discover that he’s a ‘serious’ pool player – just this week he settled down in front of a recording of Steve Davis and his teammates taking the 2002 Mosconi Cup in Bethnal Green. He plays golf, enjoys music, and is an avowed Nick Cave fan.

“I’d have to say my favourite downtime is having friends round for good banter and food in the garden, weather allowing. I’m trying to perfect the manly art of beef brisket in my [Big] Green Egg barbecue. I think one of the reasons Rivals was such a happy show to work on was because so many of the scenes were us all together at parties. Then at the end of the day we’d kick back and half of us would still be in character.”

And what characters they are, all dressed up in their ’80s finery, jockeying for position, angling for seduction as Tears for Fears belt out ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World.’ Gen Z won’t understand, much less approve (lock up your 22-year-olds), but as a snapshot of a bygone age, Rivals promises to be TV gold, and at its glittering epicentre, Declan O’Hara, legendary brooding broadcaster with the biggest ’tache in town.

All episodes of Rivals are available on Di5ney+ from 18 October

Interview by Judith Woods from The Telegraph; Photos by John Balsom.

[scarletttries]

Roman Roy x Age-Gap! Reader Headcanons:

Pairing: Roman Roy (Succession) x Reader

Word Count: 2k (warning: mention of Logany child abuse)

Author’s Note: Oh Roman Roy, you're really making me fall in love with your sad little face and your slightly softening heart this season. Thank you for this request, please enjoy these thoughts about Roman Roy with a younger, but still very much legal adult, reader. Also please fill my inbox with Kendall and Roman requests because I am thinking about little else! 😊

Update! Part two here 😀

- Roman Roy has always felt simultaneously like he's never really grown up, and that he was never allowed to be a child. Growing up as the youngest son of Logan Roy he wasn't allowed the chance to make the silly mistakes of childhood folly. Logan had been through that before and frankly he needed Roman to be a serious adult from the moment he could comprehend his father's disapproving glare. Naturally this was an impossible ask of a small, sensitive boy, and led to blows to back of the head when tears threatened to stain the silk shirt he'd been so uncomfortably forced into for another endless press event where he stood like a prop, just desperate not to get in any more trouble or let his dad down worse than he already had.

- As Roman entered adulthood he began to be left out of all the rooms where serious people met and talked about things he could never quite get right; he's wasn't self-interested enough, he didn't have those killer instincts, he couldn't rid his head of the thoughts of how many people would be affected by the company's every move. As Logan and Kendall started to tire of his quippy comments, relegating him to waiting outside for busy work, he could feel himself struggling to meet the thresholds of adulthood that Ken seemed to have carried with him for as long as Roman could remember. This dichotomy of boy and man left Roman feeling like he was never quite comfortable with his age, unsure what lense to see that number through. And then he met you.

- Getting a job at Waystar may have left you feeling a little morally uncomfortable, but you reminded yourself that ten years experience there and you'd be able to get any job in any industry you like, while also being able to pay for your own place. So you pushed that feeling down each day as you entered that office full of rich old white men. Given you'd actually had to earn your place there, rather than just knowing someone, it wasn't long until your work ethic, intelligence and ingenuity had you climbing the corporate ladder in your department and getting you noticed by some of the much higher-ups. Naturally they tried to just take credit for your work, but when the day came that Logan actually asked for an explanation of a report you'd produced, Frank had no choice but to put you in a room with the big boss face-to-face.

- You'd heard nothing but bad things about Logan Roy and as he stared at you in pure contempt while you answered his questions, wondering why his time was being wasted with this young thing from the bullpen, it took all your resolve to hold your nerve, giving short answers and trying not to give him anything to hold over you. Every so often you'd let your eyes flick over his shoulder to the man standing behind him, ten years older than you but pulling at the sleeves of his shirt like a little kid as he watched you face the interrogation, outwardly seeming far more nervous about the situation than you did. After fifteen minutes of watching you hold your head high and speak so confidently about your work, Roman was staring at you unashamedly in a mix of awe, intrigue and disbelief. Despite the age gap you seemed to have all the facets of a self-assured adult that he felt he'd never quite unlocked, while exuding the joyful exuberance of youth he'd never been allowed. He needed to know more about you, so when Logan shouted at Gerri to 'throw you in a dress and bring to this week's investor mixers' he could feel his heart pounding in his chest at the sheer hope and possibility of the answers you might hold.

- You weren't thrilled to spend your evenings surrounded by colleagues, stood to attention in case anyone needed a question answering, but you didn't hate the full railing of designer evening wear that had been sent to your apartment for the occasion. You found yourself trying to blend into the shadows of a corner, unsure of your place in this room and this crowd, wondering if any of the food on display was actually for eating, or if that would be seen as a massive faux pas. Luckily Roman had been keeping an interested eye on you all evening; who you'd spoken to, what you'd been dressed in, the frankly adorable face you'd pulled when Frank handed you a Whiskey twice your age and you took a very unwilling sip, feigning appreciation before slinking away to stick your tongue out at the burning taste. And finally he built up the nerve to approach you now that you were alone, trying to approach casually by picking up a grape from the ornate platter beside you, only to take a bite, realise it was plastic and having to hand it mortified to a waiter that had watched the whole thing from your side. He could feel the blood burning in his cheeks as he watched you try and stifle a laugh, both mortified that you already knew he was a fool and pleased that he'd been able to bring a smile to your face this evening.

"Yeah yeah fuck you." He laughed as he stopped just in front of you, all the words he'd planned to share failing him now that he was close enough to see the beauty in your sincere smile as you shook your head,

"Really I should thank you, now I'm one step closer to figuring out what's actually edible here." You replied with a warmth that almost made Roman recoil, so used to the icy chill he usually received from those around him.

"Well certainly not that whiskey." He nodded to the short crystal glass you'd been trying to put down since Frank handed it to you, tone sarcastic but without the cutting edge he was usually one to deliver. "Why is that the one thing these old fucks actually like to be their own age?" As you laughed again Roman felt a little victorious, he had set himself a pretty low bar but he was confident he was going to be the highlight of your evening.

- As you spent the next week being dragged to different events, you'd always find Roman slinking to your side before the night was through, as if you'd always been old friends, just counting down the hours of everyone else's company. You'd counter his one-liners and then ask him where he'd rather be on a Friday night and make him realise he didn't really know any other kind of night. So when you'd list off your weekend plans, and hobbies and interests, and tell him stories about your friends that had his hyena laugh echoing across the otherwise solemn room, he'd start to realise just how much he was missing out on, and how much he wanted to explore that with you as his guide.

- It stopped being enough, just finding you on odd evenings. Roman would start finding your desk at Waystar, pretending to just be wandering through a junior office coincidentally. He'd glance at his wrist, ignoring the fact he'd forgotten to put on a watch this morning, and comment that as 'technically kind of your boss' he needed to make sure his best employees were actually taking a lunch break, and also were you hungry? Sometimes during the day he'd just melt onto the floor beside your desk, chatting about nothing as you tried your best to type and pay him the attention he so desperately craved. He'd start having all of his meetings in the rooms on your floor so he could wave at you as he walked past the huge glass windows keeping your team contained, an apt metaphor for the walls up inside him he was worried you'd never cross.

- Poor insecure Roman, he'd really try and force himself to ask you out, but ultimately he'd be so afraid of the potential backlash of rejection, that it would be up to you to finally ask if he wanted to grab a drink after work, one Friday when he'd been particularly clingy. You'd take him to a fun, casual bar and watch his eye's light up at people playing darts or ordering fried food and generally the nice, relaxed atmosphere where he didn't feel he had to be the smartest person in the room. Occasionally a friend of yours would walk in a wave and ask how you were doing, and you'd introduce Roman as your friend with no shame or regret and he'd say something funny and get the same rush of pride at making you laugh that he did the first time, and he'd feel like maybe the more time he spent getting to know you, the better he could see himself, still young at heart but not the kid he once was. His lost childhood and misspent youth given a second chance as you offered to see him again next weekend.

- Once you open the affectionate floodgates Roman would be the clingiest koala you can imagine. He'd rarely be as direct as holding your hand, especially not in public, conscious of looking just like his father with a younger woman on his arm. But in the privacy of your little apartment, the one Roman fell in love with the moment he saw it, he'd take a slightly threadbare throw and toss it over the both of you as he all but crumbled into your lap when he wanted to talk about something he thought would make you run. Opening up about his father's wrath and his warped view of himself, glancing up periodically to check you hadn't ran away and left him behind, finding softness in your eyes instead of disappointment and sinking even more deeply into you.

- Roman would think you are an absolute fucking genius for everything you've done for yourself. Worked hard to be the best at your job? Genius. Manage your own bills and do your own laundry? Genius. Carry a water bottle around and make him drink some when he has a headache and somehow he feels better than he has in years? Genius.

- Roman would follow you to hell and back, but you'll have to forcibly remove him from your apartment when you want to go outside. He's never been somewhere that actually felt like home, every soft furnishing and mismatched bowl making him want to haunt your halls forever. If you ever make him a home cooked meal, he'll act like it's not a big deal, but honestly he's crying inside that anyone would go through the effort for him, and that he was the person they chose to be around. Cut to him going thrifting with you to buy five new dishes for you to cook in next time, plus anything else you like.

- Occasionally you'll successfully get him outside for a hike, or a walk, or even a day at a museum or arcade; and Roman will go full toddler on you. Pointing at everything excitedly, running around and shrieking, making sure he was your undivided attention and dragging you by the hand to look at everything. By the time you're home you're ready to collapse, only to notice Roman surreptitiously placing a little souvenir somewhere on your shelf, sneakily bought from a gift shop while you were in the bathroom, before pretending he has no idea how it got there.

- Roman is so enraptured by the incredible, rounded human-being that you are, that eventually some of your self-belief would start to rub off on him, making him feel more sure of himself than he ever has before. Thinking less about the approval of others (except you, he still desperately wants that), feeling confident in his ideas, and no longer feeling like he's stuck in Peter Pan mode - despite falling for someone ten years his junior, Roman would finally feel like he was becoming the man he was always supposed to be, thanks to you.

Let me know if you want a part two of this!

[nonymous-nb]

•────~❉᯽❉~───────────────•

Subspace x Tall!Reader

•───────────────~❉᯽❉~────•

"Tall ass bitch. — ..my tall ass bitch."

PHIGHTING! | Headcanons | Fluff | Romantic.

Warning/s: [data not found.]

Extra: [brain dead + my brain can't think of anything LMAO]

• Ngl, I feel like Subspace wouldn't really care if you're tall or not..... lemme just write something up rq.

• Okay so, first of all, he thinks he's the tallest working demon in Blackrock. (He likes to intimidate shorter people with his height.. you can't change my mind.) So seeing someone taller than him and most importantly.. HIS OWN PHUCKING ASSISTANT— he was a bit flabbergasted when he wasn't the taller demon in blackrock now. sad lol.

• He does find your height quite useless and useful sometimes.. that's when he needs to reach much higher places that he can't reach that is.

• He doesn't like you nor does he hate you though, you guessed. he just thinks he doesn't need any assistant as he can do anything by himself, plus he has his biografts to order around.

• That's until neither of them could reach a tall ass shelf.

• He once ordered the biografts carry each other to get something off the shelf anddd... they all fell onto him LMAO—

• He did call out for you to get the stuff he needed, until you said something about him getting a chair or a ladder so he could reach it, yeah, he never asked again as he felt dumb of not thinking of that. -5 pts.

• Don't worry, you got him some mechanical parts as an apology that you think he'd like, so he won't kill you afterwards.

• He thinks it was a nice upgrade for his biografts though. +1 pts

• He is still an ass to you.

• But, he actually forgave you after about 3 months as you kept giving him the things he could use for his biografts, and occasionally asks you to buy some things..

• When he's chill and tired, do ask him about his latest inventions, he'll lighten up, he hides his little excitement and talk about it 24/7 and will never stop.. what have you done. +5 pts

• He now does insist that you go shopping with him at times, whenever he feels like it as you have an advantage to look for stuffs he wants. called you a dang giraffe too

• He makes you his personal eye shopping tree as you can see much higher places..

• Oh yeah, you carry everything too lol

• When you're now on his good side, he would repay you with a nod when you do/did something useful or worth his time.

• Don't worry it's gonna change overtime.. wink wink.

• For most parts, he acts like he doesn't like or care about anything, but wants you to get it for him secretly. do get it for him though.. +3 pts

• Oh, right, forgot to say that when you ask about his biografts or his inventions, AND you're actually interested in them??? Just know he's secretly giddy about it. +20 pts

• But now that he knows you're interested in his inventions, he showcases them to you, he never misses any damn details about it. (he talks about how efficient some of the component parts are too)

• Yay, you're on his good side, he's never letting your ass go now.

• Ngl, he dislikes it when you show anyone else with the same interest as you have for him, your interest shall solely be towards him, and him only.

• If he needs you for something and he can't find you? Yeah, doesn't happen you're the 2nd tallest in this building. no he doesnt wanna be on 2nd place.

• He also has this tendency to steal you away from anyone you talk to.. no matter how important it is, he's the boss, YOUR boss to be exact. So you should only follow HIS orders.. you are his assistant after all.

• Yeah, he only wants you to be interested in his doings and no one else. jealous ahh bit—

• [Y'know what, let's skip to when you guys are dating, yeah? I can't think of anymore bs.. why do i even do this..]

• You'll be the one carrying everything, no matter how small or big it is, you're carrying it.

• He uses you as a ladder, he makes you carry him whenever he can't reach crap.

• Also not only you're his ladder, he makes it as an excuse to do less things. Oh he could reach that? he calls for you. Oh no, it's it's a bit high up with a ladder besides it.... calls you anyway. You're his personal ladder now and you can't get away with it.

• He also makes you give him some piggyback rides, his legs are tired.

• Will definitely blush if you carry him bridal style.

• Don't do it in public though, he might present you a certain tripmine. *winks.*

• Also whenever he has some conversations with Scythe and makes him uncomfortable, he makes you as a shield.

• Scythe definitely think he's being babied.

• Overall, you're his.. you can't change that.

• You can't get away nor run now after all, you have him by your side..

[Ngl, I don't think Subspace really cares about how tall anyone is, he just wants his inventions done and stronger.]

[unnoticed-poison]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔! 𝙷𝚊𝚣𝚋𝚒𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚕 𝚅𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚇 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 °【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟑 】°

【 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟐 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟑 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 1

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 2

So I forgot I explained the situation in my other yandere fic but not this one so I'll do it now so everyone will know.

The reason some girls are genderbend is because I can't exactly write yaoi or yuri cause of my religion, the most I could do for them is turn them into males so they can be romantic yanderes, hope you guys understand.

Also because I like to write genderbend as well.

The treatment Valentino gives Angel Dust will be mentioned of course, and not all the girls will be genderbend, it depends on how the story will go.

So anyways enjoy the chapter ❣️

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 ˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Things were not going so well for Charles at the meeting.

"And then I went ahead and invited her to my place-"

This 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳 won't stop babbling about useless stuff and avoiding the topic at hand.

"- I failed to seduce her since she's so oblivious, but I can always try again next time," Adam said nonchalantly, taking a bite out of the rib as he glanced at him. "So what did you do this weekend?"

"Sir." The exterminator standing behind Adam looked less than thrilled while listening to his boss's chattering as well. " There's only a few minutes left for the meeting."

"Really? Oh well, you can start talking then."

Fucking finally.

Charles stood up after clearing his throat, holding up his papers as he started explaining the situation at hand.

"So I'm sure you're well aware of the overpopulation issue we're currently facing, I would like to suggest-"

Adam interrupted him. "OH that's not a problem at all! we're taking care of that just fine, Lute!" He called out as Lute stepped closer to him. "How many demons did you kill this year?"

The exterminator's voice was blunt as he answered. "Got a good 275 sir."

"275!? Badass! Awesome job danger dick." They fist-bumped as he said this, making the demon frown.

They're proud of that..?

"You know those are my people, right..?"

Adam laughed. "Of course! And that's what makes it even better!"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Charles continued. "As I was saying, all our problems will be solved if we rehab those sinners and cleanse all their souls so they can join you guys in heaven and the extermination won't be needed anymore!"

He explained as fast as he could while holding up each paper. " The redeeming process will take place in my hote-"

"That's enough."

Huh?

"But I haven't finished yet-"

"I've heard more than enough, if what you're suggesting is letting those miserable fuckers climb up the ladder then you can forget about it, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my long, loooong life."

"Everyone makes mistakes! They can redeem themselves-"

"They had the chance to do that when they were 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦, now that they've earned damnation, it's no one's fault but their own," Lute spoke in a scornful tone, his eyes narrowed in disgust. "And for your information, angels 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 make mistakes."

Charles narrowed his eyes at him in return. " You really think so."

The man smirked. "I 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 so."

Adam, visibly annoyed, slammed his hands on the table, making them both stop. "Alright that's enough!"

He rose to his feet and made his way over to Charles until they were standing face to face. " Look here pal, hell is forever and there's nothing, and I mean absolutely 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 you can do about it, so I suggest you give up now, and I'll pretend I never heard any of that bullshit."

A sneer of contempt crept over his face as he towered over the boy, he looked too much like his father, just looking at him made him 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬.

"You should consider yourself lucky that damned snake gave you a pardon from the extermination or else you and your hellborn kind would've been dead a long time ago."

Charles could feel his blood boil, his face flushed in rage as he scowled at him.

This damned bastard-

Before he had a chance to respond, the angel suddenly stepped back.

"And now that I've got your and the audience's attention, I would like to announce that we've made a determination!" With a triumphant smirk, Adam turned his head to stare directly at where the camera was.

...?

Confused, Charles turned his head to where Adam was looking.

....

Shit!

There was a camera?!!

How come he didn't notice it!

"-To move up the next extermination."

What?!

"Wait a second that's not-!"

"I can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts, I know the day just finished, but we'll be back in six months!" Taking hold of both the drone and Charles's hand, he sent a menacing smile to the camera. " Enjoy those next few months dear sinners! Cause they might be your last."

Once he said that, he roughly threw them out of the room and returned to his seat while bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Wait!" The demon exclaimed, papers scattered around him as he tried to enter the room again. "Hold on a moment!"

"Now where is my favorite angel-" was the last thing he heard Adam say before the door slammed shut in his face.

......

Frustrated beyond words, his face scrunched up in anger as he slammed his fist into the door.

"Fuck!"

This was not how this was supposed to go!

He made things WORSE.

He then heard a voice come from the small drone.

"Looks like Lucifer's brat fucked things up for us all! What a shocker, I'm sure your father will be 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥."

....

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a deep sigh as he dropped his head, feeling defeated.

"Excuse me, are those yours?"

Huh?

Charles lifted his head and looked over his shoulder.

Despite the woman being out of uniform and wearing a simple dress, he was certain that she was one of the angels with the wings and halo.

Moreover, the giant hammer in her hand, still dripping with blood, served as a stark reminder of her rank.

Her other hand was holding the papers he drew at the hotel, with a basket hanging from her wrist.

Was that an egg?

Despite being a little disturbed by the sight, he couldn't help but be drawn by her looks.

She's pretty...

"Sir?"

Charles snapped out of it, a flush spread across his cheeks when he realized he'd been staring too long.

With a sheepish nod, he stood up and brushed off his clothes as he went over to you.

"Oh yeah they're mine!"

With a nod, you extended the papers. "Here you go then." You said, handing him the papers, some were stained with blood.

He looked at the stained papers for a moment before taking them off your hand. "Am.. thanks."

"No problem, have a nice day."

With that being said, you walked past him and towards the room he just got kicked out of.

His eyes followed your back for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh and turning around to leave when he suddenly paused in his tracks.

Wait..

𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭?

Perhaps you're the one that arrogant prick was talking about?

𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦..𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦...

Maybe it wasn't too late yet!

If he could convince you of his project then maybe...

Perhaps you could help change Adam's mind as well!

Or at the very least move the extermination back to once a year like usual.

"Miss! Please wait!"

Turning back, he quickly headed over to you.

Upon hearing that, you paused and turned back to him with a raised brow. "Do you need anything?"

"I'd like to speak with you about something urgent."

You silently glanced back at the door and then back at the blonde, you had arrived just in time to witness him get thrown out by your boss.

So you had a pretty good guess on why he wanted to discuss with you.

"I'm sorry but my boss's words are final, I have no say in them, so whatever you spoke with him about I can't do anything."

That was mostly a lie, but the blonde didn't need to know that.

"Please! I beg you, it will only take a minute."

Gazing at the sheer desperation on the man's face, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him.

..........

.....

Damnit.

You finally let out a sigh. "Go ahead, I can't promise anything though."

?!

Charles's face lit up with happiness as he gave you a beaming smile.

"Thank you!"

Despite your visible disinterest, the man excitedly explained his entire project to you in detail.

There might be hope to clean up the mess he made after all.

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 ˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Hope you guys liked the chapter!

I really need to focus back on my Yandere Animation Studios fic, that thing only has the trailer chap posted 😭

Anyways until next time ❣️

[smoothriverrocksrock]

(parody)

AITA For unionizing against my shitty boss?

So I (27 C) and my friend O (27 C) have been working at the same job for cycles. It’s in horrible conditions, the mortality rate is crazy, and we don’t even get insurances. But hey, it’s an important job and someone has to do it, right? We’ve been working at this job together for the same amount of time, and we’ve become good friends outside of it. We also had this supervisor, E (29 C), who was super strict, but she was also really good at her job which is a blessing among supervisors so none of us complained. Well one day we had a work accident and E got blamed for it. Totally unfair, and it wasn’t even close to being her fault (she was the reason there weren’t any casualties!). Then O and I found out that if someone - ANYONE - with a high enough ranking in the corporate ladder gets pissed at you they can demote you into oblivion. We found this other guy, B (24 C), and apparently he’s been stuck in the same position for longer than he can remember after that happened to him.

Talking with B, O and I learned that we might have a lead towards finding this really important key the previous boss had lost. So we left. Not quitting, not yet, but we left to find the key. We also found E along the way, so it was myself, O, E, and B. Some time passed and then we met this guy, A (??? C), who turned out to be an old boss at our work who got replaced. He told us all about how workers at the company used to have things like rights and insurance and whatever, and how that all changed after the previous secretary murdered all the other old chairmen (minus A). I, and the others, were understandably pissed!! We also found out that the only reason our shitty job exists is because our new boss somehow fumbled a renewable resource and made it extinct. Honestly for a while I kinda thought our group and I were on the same page after this. I mean, the only obvious solution right now was to unionize, right? Kick out the current boss, reestablish rights, be the change we want to see in the world. A helped us gather some evidence against our boss, and we were going to go show it to everybody when he kinda got kidnapped. It was a whole thing, but what matters is that we learned that a LOT of people got laid-off because of the current boss. It was bad, they all became homeless after losing their jobs and were living in a comunal shelter together. I also gained the homeless group’s respect by beating the shit out of their leader, but again, that’s a whole other thing.

Some more stuff happens (It was a weird two days) and eventually I get the chance to really tell my boss how I feel. So I do. Yeah that didn’t go very well. Luckily O and E crashed a train into the building before I could get murdered, but I was still determined to unionize. I hunted down our boss until I had him cornered, but at the last second O stopped me from unionizing! What?! He said some stuff about morality and some “murder is wrong” bullshit and I couldn’t believe it! The same person who worked with me for cycles, who suffered all the same things I did, who was with me every step of this journey, didn’t want to unionize with me? The fuck? Is he stupid???

BFF for life or not, I wasn’t about to let O stop me. Some kinda personal stuff happened after that, but I did it! I unionized against our boss! The homeless gang was around so I recruited them into my union, but for some reason E and B were really freaking out about what I did. I tried convincing them to join me, but then O started getting in on it, and get this: he had been promoted! And was trying to use his new power against me!! Unacceptable

So I tried to unionize against O, but he just fired me. Now I have to live with the homeless gang, but they’re alright I guess. Our union’s been going good, we have a logo now, but the situation still doesn’t sit right with me

[urfrenfishy]

new charlie yuurivoice episode spoilers

can we talk about how high up the ladder casper actually is. like. that’s fuckin crazy. we all know how distrusting auron is, pretty sure the only reason he trusted charlie at all was bc let’s be honest what could charlie possibly do. BUT PERSONAL DRIVER??? HE TRUSTS CAS. TO DRIVE HIM PLACES?? crazy amounts of trust. especially for a guy with so many enemies.

also. something tells me cas isn’t just a driver, like yes i’m sure that’s their like formal job just like aurons formal job is CEO but- in the shadows…cmon cas is like definitely one of aurons top hitmen or something.

to further back up the double job thing, let’s talk about the pay. it’s implied that cas is like- loaded and i doubt they make as much as they do for them just to be a driver, that’s some you keep my secrets i keep yours and also provide a boat ton of compensation for it kind of money

and also, casper’s silent reluctance to tell charlie their profession. i feel like if they were ‘just a driver’ they wouldnt care so much about not telling him and keeping their job a secret, it’s not like he’d see them differently if they were just a driver to his old boss. if anything he’d think it’s a funny coincidence, but- if they actually had something to hide underneath the driver gig, then id get why they’d be as nervous as they were in the episode.

so yeah. crazy shit. but also i have theorized that cas was like aurons hitman since the mention of their job/money so i win

[i-hear-a-sound]

Drakengard/NieR: Twin Theory, Part 1

The post ahead is… long. Insanely fucking long, and I’m certain half of it is incoherent. Oh well. It’s a Tuesday.

So, to preface:

This is all just theory.

Spoilers for NieR and Drakengard.

Homework:

(post regarding copied & cathedral city)

(post comparing adam, eve, and a secret third thing)

Good luck down here.

NieR Automata: Ending D. 

It’s the ending you get if you choose to play as 9S in the final boss. 9S kills A2 and incidentally gets himself killed when he falls on her sword. Dumb hoe.

However, when his memory data starts performing an emergency evacuation, he, and we, find ourselves fading into…

an “Ark.”

He first sees the red girl, N2, who explains to him the vague purpose of this ark. 

To take the memories of the “foolish machine life forms” and send them to another world, after they’d seen the androids and contemplated their own existence as machines. 

9S also sees Adam and Eve there, the ladder asleep and the former holding him. Adam asks 9S a simple question,

“Will you come with us?”

And If you choose to go onto the Ark, it’s assumed 9S’s memory & consciousness data become “part” of the Ark, traveling off to whatever… “world” they may be heading to. 

And if you stay. 

9S does not get on the Ark. the Ark flies off, without him.

And we actually get a follow-up to this ending. “Farewell” is a script that takes place sometime after Ending D, in which 2B wakes up but 9S does not. 

Though she tries everything she can to find a way to revive him, she eventually just… shuts down on her own, due to grief. 

(Except for in the final reading of this script, where the ending was changed and 9S wakes up— but you know what? Fuck you. I’m not making this any more complicated than it’s immediately about to get in like, 5 sentences.)

(Edit: we then got a follow up to that script that follows this scenario.         talk to your parents about it)

So… the Ark. About everything I just told you is about all we have on the Ark itself. 

The most we know is this: The Ark was created by Machines. It carries memory data that it will take to a different world. It

Memory data. 

…Memory data. 

Sorry. It’s just that… typing this all out right now, it’s starting to ring a bell. But I don’t know where that bell is, why it’s ringing. 

Holding memories. 

Storing memories. 

Machines storing memories This sounds familiar. 

But where else could I have heard this from?

I remember now. 

The Seeds.

In YoRHa: Dark Apocalypse, the NieR:Automata Final Fantasy 14 raid, something returned after over a decade and a half that totally took me off guard: the Seeds of Destruction. 

Introduced in the first Drakengard, they were “tools of the gods” that would appear when all seals were broken. While they were believed by humans to be holy items that would bring all living creatures, man or monster, to them in times of great peril, to guide them down a path of salvation— in reality, they just kinda did this

Creating extremely powerful monsters capable of carrying out the god’s one motive: the destruction of humanity. 

But back to the raid. In this collaboration the Seeds returned, and not only that, but they… well. 

In the 3rd raid, N2, the red girl I was talking about earlier and the “ego of the machine network”, goes up into a seed that’s inside of a portal, and becomes this… False Idol. 

Clearly meant to be derivative of the designs of The Queen Beast/Mother Angel & the Intoners. Always these gray bitches. 

Anyways. After you fight her, she makes this weird… light thing? which goes up into the sky, into the portal I mentioned earlier, and then… 

HM

We are dropped into a copied Tokyo, straight out of Drakengard 1.  

But…

Question. How?

How did we get here. Is it really just a copied Tokyo? How did it get copied? 

And if not, did we like… Time Travel? Did we…

Oh, I got sidetracked. My bad. We were talking about the seeds.

So at first, we see the seeds transform someone, this time a non-human. Nothing new, although I do find it strange how differently it changed N2 in comparison to how Furiae became… that. 

Perhaps it works differently for machines? …Put a pin in that for now. 

Anyways. I didn’t swerve this car just to talk to you about how stuff we already fucking knew was just used AGAIN. 

No, the very reason I brought up this whole raid at all, and got so sidetracked I nearly transitioned into a different topic, was because of this singular excerpt.  

Maybe I’m reading this wrong. Maybe I’m not. And if I’m not, then

these seeds are storing people’s memories. Hundreds of them. 

(Edit: I wasn’t reading this wrong :) )

Isn’t that just like what I described with the Ark? The Ark stores memory data, the seeds hold memories…

I mean, the description of what the Seeds were believed to be by humanity, along with Drakengard’s usage of various themes regarding religion, has always reminded me of one specific thing: Noah’s Ark. 

Noah’s. Ark. 

Ark. Seed. Seed. Ark. 

Perhaps, they are one and the same.

Perhaps… The Ark is a Seed. 

Surely not though, right? I mean… yeah, this is solid evidence, but it’s really the only evidence I can give you guys. There’s not much we know about the Seeds in all honesty, and there’s even less regarding the Ark, so it’s nearly impossible to find any other lead in 

?

Wait. 

Let’s go back for a second.

“Let the light in?” What light? 

What the hell is this referring to? The whole raid finished like, two years ago, and for that same amount of time I’ve genuinely had no idea what this “light” is. 

I mean, she does conjure up this sort of light that goes into the portal, and… then we go to Tokyo. Maybe that’s what it’s referring to? 

Let the light in… 

Light… 

Light.

Do not bring back the light. Do not bring back the vessel. Do not bring back the future. Do not bring it back.

Every beam of light is an invitation to death.

I’ve heard this before.

These two excerpts are from the World of Recycled Vessel DLC, in the diary of Nier/The Protagonist’s deceased mother. 

These are the last two lines in the diary. Both referencing this “light” with a… negative connotation?

Why. 

 And… wait, why am I going off on this? When I was talking about the Ark and The Seeds and whatnot I never once mentioned their connection to any sort of light. 

Because I never thought there was. Because I looked over it. 

I lie collapsed in a space of blinding white. The pain is... gone. The light envelops me. It's so warm.

My damage worsens. I start to lose my memories. The space fills up with pure white light. It's like being buried in snow.

These two excerpts are from 9S’ dialogue during Ending D— you know, the one where the Ark makes its “appearance.”

.

“A space of blinding white”, “the light envelops me”, “the space fills up with pure white light”.

…

Hm. 

I’m beginning to wonder if this “light” is, in some way… connected to memories? And a “space of pure white light”… that feels familiar. Really familiar. 

Real fucking familiar.

After being encroached upon, the light overflowed. Poured into, we overflowed, the connection has AWAKENED.

This is from decoded text in Automata, taking place after Ending A/B. I think it’s meant to describe Eve briefly connecting to 9S’ consciousness in some way? (Given there is a mention of a brother who “learned a lot from books.” Fact-check me though.)

The Pods decide to abandon the body after the personality data has been completely restored, and to destroy any machine life forms in the surrounding area. And at the very bottom of this story… 

<Vessel>

Do not bring back the vessel. 

The infection spreads through 2B's consciousness. She prays. Before death's footsteps reach her, she screams. Even if nobody hears me. 9S saved me. Within a crumbling memory, she bids farewell to 9S's consciousness data. I did feel a little bit lonely but now my h eart is filled with such wa rm li ght

Then there’s this. It’s the final line of “Voices from the Verge”, a short story from a Nier Fan-Festival in 2022. 

I think it’s meant to take place in the copied city— no, not the one we see in game, at least I don’t think— a different one. A different memory. 

A place to celebrate life and send off the deceased. A place of prayer. The city's records can be gleaned from within the tranquil light. A record of humanity's end. A history of machines copying a city. And also... the hesitance they felt. This city is a replica. A city built by machine lifeforms based on the siblings' memories of where they lived. And even the very siblings themselves were nothing but imitations born from memories.

“The city’s records can be gleaned from within the tranquil light”… “a city built by machine life forms based on the siblings’ memories of where they lived.”

“A history of machines copying a city. And also… the hesitance they felt.”

…um. How? 

If you’re thinking the “siblings” being referred to in this script are Adam and Eve… no. This city is meant to be a replica of Nier and Yonah’s memories. Hell, they themselves in this script are replicas made out of their own memories. 

God this shit’s fucking stupid to type

But… thing is. Again! How? How did the machines know what this city looked like? Sure, maybe it’s in one of their “records”, but even then. 

…Well. If we go back to the screenshot I showed you all earlier from the Dark Apocalypse raid, it mentions how the data in these Seeds are stored by “machines bearing the names of gods.”

These machines are possibly using the seeds to store people’s memories. 

And— hey. I mentioned earlier how the seeds can transform whatever enters it, but do you know what I neglected to add? 

They also

Copy.

Maybe this “light” can be connected to the seeds and the Ark as well. But what that means I… don’t really know right now.

So we have one connection. And now, possibly two. Are there any more connections I should know about?! 

In NieR: Replicant ver 1.22, Ending E, the— if I’m correct— “canon” ending, was finally added after only being contained in the guidebook “Grimoire Nier.”

And this is the achievement you receive at the very start of it.

It’s in hexadecimal. And thankfully, it’s already been translated. 

“Memory server”

“I can see the light”

Memory… server. 

I can see the light.

Memory. Server. I can see the light. 

The light. Memory server.

Light. Memories. Memories. Light. 

Light…

Light…

Light…

Light

A SPACE OF BLINDING WHITE. 

Fucking… finally. I get to talk about Drakengard 1. Most of the talk regarding this game is being saved for the part 2 of this post I’ll get to… eventually, but what I want to focus on here is this game’s ending D, and “The Great Time.” 

In this ending, Seere breaks his pact, unleashing the Queen Beast’s time(?) and enveloping the world with this… light. The great time. From it, a black tower also emerges. A tower. A… I’m gonna stop. Nope. Back on topic. 

But it wasn’t until the novella, “Magnitude Negative”, was fully translated that we finally got a better understanding of what this “time” is. 

It is everything. 

Every living creature. Every structure. Everything, everywhere, past, present, future.

And every 

single 

ending.

“He could see the shadows of crowds, coming and going. It was loud, all indifferent to all around them, and full of different interests. There were tall buildings whose likes he had never seen before, and vehicular machines that ran faster than horses. … Caim is crying, clinging to the dragon. ‘I have never seen you weep before.’ … The dragon states its name. ‘Angelus. My name is Angelus.’… Caim and the dragon are going to kill each other. ‘Caim. Our pact ends here.’ … ‘Miracles cannot be asked for.’ The Goddess, revived with the Seed of Resurrection, is destroying humanity. … Seere rests within a giant womb. In a strange place, but rather familiar all the same, the dragon fights against a song.”

“A strange place, but rather familiar all the same”…? That’s for part 2. 

But case is, everything is the Great Time. 

And it is

light. 

EDIT: FUCKING HELL I TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH THIS THAT REINCARNATION GOT ANOTHER UPDATE. AND I CAN ADD THIS SHIT. 

10H states that “The Cage”, which IIRC is where “all” of NieR: Reincarnation takes place, is inside of that… egg. It’s supposed to hold the “data” (memories asshole!!!!) of humanity until the time comes for them to… you know. Reincarnate. But it’s not meant to be there, it’s supposed to be on the Moon, why is it now on Earth. And

I FUCKING KNEW IT. I called it. I never verbalized it but I CALLED THIS BULLSHIT DAY… um….  While ago. Source: trust. 😁

Time is light. Light is memories. Memory server. Memories are recorded in the seeds. Memories are recorded in the ark. The ark is light. The seeds are light. The ark is a seed.

Hang on.

Who records the memories in the ark again? Machines… “Machines with the names of gods.” 

I don’t recall us ever meeting a machine of that kind of name? The closest would be Adam and Eve, of course, but one 1. They died and 2. Neither’s name derivations were gods. Adam and Eve were not gods.

And, hell, how the fuck did machines get their hands on the Seeds anyways? Even looking past the theory part, them being what is messing with the seeds is canon.

And— hang on! New question coming through, how the fuck did the Seeds get here?! 

This is thousands of years after Drakengard 1. Not only that, but these are TWO SEPARATE FUCKING UNIVERSES. Two timelines! 

The seeds are intrinsically tied to the watchers. Hell, watchers gradually transform into them over time in one of the novellas. 

How are the machines putting memories into the seeds? How did the seeds get here in the first place? With all this time talk, where does Ac

The aliens. 

I need to talk about the aliens.

The aliens of Automata are… fucking weird. 

Sit down, and listen. Look here look listen. Basically, in a franchise where giant scary gray babies exist, one’s that devour scary bitches and wreck havoc and shit, it’s not them that fully take out humanity— well, they likely do in their universe, but in NIER’S? It’s…

It’s fucking FETUS SHAPED ALIENS 

Aliens who time, and time, and TIME AGAIN we are told FUCKING SUCK!! They are traaaashh!!!

Their heads look like an asscrack. They look like if you fucked up a perfectly good turtle. And in all seriousness, they created machines so much smarter than them that they essentially doomed themselves by creating their own exterminators. Sure, they got control over the Kingdom of Night/North and South America, said control which only grew larger and larger as they began rapidly producing machines, but… that was honestly their only W. These fuckers suck. Clutch or kick. 

And Adam, the machine who, along with his brother, killed off the rest of the aliens, describes them as being… “infantile.”

And I paused. 

Infantile? 

Out of everything… that’s such a specific word. Infantile.

Infantile. Infant…ile. 

Infant. 

Like a baby. 

A 

baby. 

A

Wait. What did I say they looked like? 

Fetuses. The aliens… they look like fetuses. 

But not natural fetuses, no… no. Like if you took an infant and forced it to revert back into what it looked like in the womb. Gross, I know, but… just look at them.

Just. 

Look.

At. 

Them.  

Look at their skin. It’s… bumpy. Scaly. 

Scaly. 

I’m not trying to imply that they’re dragons. At least… not exactly.

No, what I am trying to imply, is that the answer as to what these things are has been staring me in the face the whole fucking time.

When the flower descended at the beginning of this story, dragons were not the only things that came down with it. 

Infantile, you say? 

This idea is, out of everything in “Twin Theory”, the one I’ve held onto the longest. It’s stupid, yeah— but just like with the Ark and the Seeds, and a certain third theory that still waits after this section— I started scripting, and evidence manifested*. 

*I looked shit up and fact-checked myself🦅🦅🚬

Anyways. Do I think the aliens are the watchers? NO. No, no, no. One fucker is a  tentacle ass bitch and the other belongs in a crib at the tenth circle of hell. But i do absolutely believe that a connection can be made. 

First of all, I want to look at the aliens’ ship. Look at it good and hard. Does it remind you of anything?

Maybe… A FUCKING FLOWER? 

Because that’s exactly what this looks like. Hell, the big ball in the middle would obviously remind one of a Seed itself… but that’s a little too silly for me. (Edit: You will soon see that I should’ve never doubted my gut.) Then again, the first time we see the seeds in the final fantasy collab is in the aliens’ ship and I… am going to stop myself from having a hernia :3. (Edit: You will soon see that I should’ve never doubted my gut)

Second. I want to look at Drakengard 1.3, specifically its ending. The whole novella is kinda… well, weird, and not in a good way weird most of the time, but its ending has always struck me as being particularly interesting. 

The dragons, who I will again mention are connected to the watchers— like— genetically, devour humanity. Their size increases in number and over time they begin to change shape. First slowly taking on the forms of “lumps of meat”, then the forms of babies, then a whole bunch of them fuse together to become… a seed. 

(This moment isn’t the only time we’ve seen entities fuse together to create a seed-like object, but… I’ll hold that thought off for now.) 

Anyways. What does any of this have to do with the Aliens?

Well. 

Take into consideration that the dragons only transformed because they were devouring humans. They had shit to eat. And given the fact that these dragons transformed into Watchers, I doubt it would be too much of a stretch to ponder whether or not Watchers themselves have this similar capability. 

But what about in Automata? A part in the timeline where… there are no humans left. There’s nothing to feed off of. Most of all, there’s no Queen. 

The Watchers’ entire “goal” in the first game was to break the seals and free the Queen Beast. There’s no humans left. What would they do now? 

…Start a pointless war between the next best thing? Build machines they can control with ease. Forge a logic virus that will perpetuate this war for as long as it can, with a notable trait of it being: red eyes. And create a manifestation of the machine’s own egos in the form of a little girl, so akin to the girl they made their high priestess so long ago. 

Edit: I continued to take too long to finish this theory and the nier concert happened. While the full script isn’t out yet, I was able to read an (I think) fairly decent summary that one part of caught my eye. 

2B and 9S discover a place known as “Eden”………. hehehehehheheheheeeeee… and it’s basically just a huge alien ship, iirc. Inside they find a transporter that opens into a white city, and after walking through it a lil bit they find a copied YoRHa bunker. 

Continuing their disastrous walkalong they find a bunch of dead machines in a… church…

ok….

(l was real!)

And also there, is a circle of Android corpses, surrounding a black orb.

It’s said that they formed this place as a “place of worship in their final moments”, and that the black orb likely comes from the aliens ship. 

And we know this.

Black orb! Never doubt your gut ever!

But given what I’ve already said about the aliens… hm. The thing powering their ship being in a place of worship in one’s final moments… 

speak not the watchers, write not the watchers…

Just a little idea. 

I may have explained all this “evidence” poorly, so sorry for that. But anyways.

If the aliens were connected to the watchers (and the dragons?), so many weird connections in Automata could possibly be explained.

The cult of the watchers’ emblem appearing on either of the twins’ tattoos? Connection. 

N2 resembling Manah? Connection. 

Logic virus being derivative of the Red Eye Disease? Connection. 

The Seeds of Destruction being in the NieR universe, specifically at the time of Automata, at all? C word. Connection. 

It could even explain why no other aliens ever… you know, showed up. These aliens were the only ones, because no more could be formed with the Queen dead, the dragons gone, and a lack of food. 

“The aliens look like if you took an infant and forced it to revert back into what it looked like in the womb.” And gave it… tentacles and scales.                   😁

But even with all that, this is still a theory that I’m going to continue working out the kinks in. Could the Aliens have ties to the Watchers? Maybe, but I still need a lot more evidence to fully make that conclusion. 

But for right now, it’s moreso food for thought. 

I wish I could say the same for the final theory I’m going to be discussing today. 

So we’ve talked about the Ark. Its existence is shrouded in mystery, but the conclusion I came to is that it is, in some form, a Seed of Destruction, used by machines to record memories and travel worlds. Both seem to be connected with this… “Light”, which I concluded is connected to “the Great Time”. 

Hell… just typing this out, I forgot another physical example of this light in action— 

This whole large group of machines merge to form a “seed”, and as light begins to build up inside of it, Adam is created. 

Does this light… create, as well? Put a pin in that… maybe. I don’t know. 

(Edit: I think it do..)

Anyways. Then, we discussed the Aliens. I theorized that they could have some connection to the Watchers of Drakengard, looking at all the strange ties the two species have with each other— from how the aliens’ ship suspiciously resembles a flower, to how the watchers’ most likely have the ability to change forms over time when strong enough. The conclusion I came to is that the possibility of the Aliens being the weakened remains of the Watchers after the extinction of both their Queen and humanity as a whole, is… well. It’s there. 

But there’s one thing we haven’t talked about yet, and I’m sure you all have an idea of what exactly that is. 

We’ve discussed two very perplexing entities in the Drakenier universe today, but there’s one last character I chose to leave as my final topic. One that, funnily enough, also has an A name. And is more mysterious than the two topics I’ve already gone over combined.

Accord. 

Accord is by far the most “mysterious” character in the entire Drakenier franchise, despite being one of the only characters to be mentioned by name in multiple games. 

It’s why it’s so hard to theorize about her. But there’s enough we do know about her that tells us she might as well be the most important character in the series. 

Accord is a recorder android, one who… well… records. Riveting script writing ☝️

She records singularities, entities with the capability of creating branches by altering timelines. Normally she doesn’t intervene and just records the singularity once the branch has been made. Her goal in this endeavor is to prevent a “Fall-Down”, the collapse of all timelines.

She can time travel, as while we first see her in the beginning of the timeline, Drakengard 3, she was actually created during the time of NieR: Automata, around 6230 or so, in the Kingdom of Night. She also has multiple clones of herself, all of which hold the same goal as the one we follow in D3. 

She also works a weapons shop and presumably even writes the weapons’ stories. She collects minerals from the old world(?) which she came from, and wields a large suitcase and phone. 

In Automata, it’s mentioned she supplied weapons to the resistance; in Replicant, it was added that Yonah actually met Accord; in the Automata anime, hidden(?) text is likely from Accord, aaaaaand…

That’s it. That’s all we know about this girl.

Yes, it sounds like a lot but it’s really… not. 

Specifically, two key things are unknown to us. Them being: 

•How does Accord time travel? 

•Who created Accord? 

And for so long, these two questions just kinda sat there in my mind. I had ideas but… nothing that big. 

I just assumed that, maybe, we haven’t seen how Accord time travels yet. And that Accord could just be a product of the Army of Humanity, connecting her back to YoRHa. 

But then… in a NieR: Reincarnation update… 

10 years after we last, physically saw her…

We got this: 

These three images are what prompted me to finally, finally, put this theory in its entirety into words. 

Because it got me thinking. 

Puppet? Why puppet? 

Yeah, stuff like “puppets” and “dolls” have been used in reference to androids, machines whatevs in this series before, but for some reason… reading it made me recall a very small detail. Something I’d always overlooked. 

The final fantasy collab… puppet… puppets’… What was the title of the 2nd raid again?

Ah. The Puppets’ Bunker. 

Now, why am I making such a big deal over Accord simply being referred to as “puppet” in this small section of a game? Why am I focused more on that than the fact that this is most likely teasing her return at all? 

Well… it’s the same reason I bring up the collab again. 

2P. 

She & the other P units are the primary antagonists of this specific raid. She’s a machine copy of 2B, with an inverted palette. 

And I’ve always been curious as to what the P in her name meant. Of course, it initially just meant “Second Player”— but Yoko Taro himself has since stated that there’s a double meaning to it. 

And after a while of thinking and thinking, someone suggested the P to mean… 

Puppet.

And shit blew my mind. It totally works! So I went with it, and then… 

It made me remember another thing. Back to Accord. 

Do you remember the post I made on Adam and Eve? Yes, the post where I dropped the maybe-possible-bombshell that Eve (and his brother, likely) could possibly have some sort of connection to Mikhail of Drakengard 3, at least visually— but do you know what I mentioned in kind of a side comment? 

Adam distinctly looks like Accord. And that was that. For a while, the only question I had regarding that was: “Why does Adam look like Accord?”

But what I realized after lots and lots of thinking… is that I should’ve been asking a different question. 

“How does Adam look like Accord?”!

Adam’s a machine. He was created by machines, created by aliens. If Accord was with the Army of Humanity, why does this machine share so much resemblance to her? 

I mean, fuck— if the Copied City he creates really does have ties to the Cathedral City in Drakengard 3,

why is Accord at the fucking Mercurius Gate?

You know, the place where all the world’s “knowledge” is stored, as well as… oh I don’t know, the fucking Flower. 

“Receptionist?” Strangely, that isn’t even the weirdest thing Accord’s been referred to. 

Just think back to that Reincarnation update. Accord is called a “puppet.” 

Why? 

I already just talked about “puppet” being possibly the double meaning of the P in “2P”, connecting the term to the mock androids/machines, but I didn’t even mention the usage of the word in Drakengard 3.

In one of the novellas, the dragons, specifically Michael, fought entities described as “Puppets”. This novella is one I’ve seen occasionally brought up in discussions regarding the Kingdom of Night, due to the existence of “dragon-like machines.” 

Hell JUST LOOK AT THEM SIDE BY SIDE. 

The first is the mechanical interior(?) of a YoRHa android, 2nd is… of course, what we see of Accord’s. Look at the rib area. For a while I assumed it looked like that because her arm had been blown off but… no. Shit’s clean and smooth. It was built that way.  It also seems as though Accord’s body is connected via… ball joints? 

Why is an Android from the future so… I don’t know. Old-fashioned? Mechanic?

Especially when compared to YoRHa androids. They bleed, she doesn’t. 

But. But but but. 

She’s… confirmed to be made DURING the period between Replicant and Automata, during the machine war. It’s one of the only things confirmed about her backstory, and yet every little thing about her would make you think otherwise. 

She’s built like a legitimate doll, not an Android. As such, she gets called a puppet. There are multiple identical copies of her and from what I’ve read it isn’t because she’s a line of… idk, Accords. Take a shot every time I say her name btw

She can time travel seemingly with as much ease as the universe allows her, and yet has to self engage special abilities like… run fast mode. 

Stuff that other Androids of her time period are shown to do naturally. 

But… that’s the only case for her. The only answer we have of who exactly created the first Accord is in YoRHa, the Army of Humanity. 

But. 

I. 

Don’t. 

Know. 

None of this makes sense, right? None of it. Nothing that I’ve just discussed should logically make sense if she was made by the Army of Humanity. 

But that’s the only option for her, right? That we know of? Right? 

Why is she closer to a machine than she is to any of the androids? 

Who? Is? Accord?

Then it hit me. A realization. 

Didn’t I… wait. What was the estimated year of Accord’s creation? 

…6230? 

Okay. And we know she was created in the Kingdom of Night… 

But. 

What? 

Hang on. Kingdom of Night… do we know anything about the kingdom of night? 

I mean… we know what it is. It’s North and South America, cast in an eternal state of Night. It’s the reason why in every NieR game, the sun never sets— it’s always set in the Kingdom of Day. 

We’ve never seen the Kingdom of Night. All we know is that Accord was made there… dragon machines fought against the machines inside there, and… oh… oh. 

Oh.

The Kingdom of Night.

North and South America?

…where the first machines were being mass produced. The first machines were made in the Kingdom of Night, in 5100.

The Army of Humanity never managed to gain control over that kingdom. In fact, in 7645 the aliens’ control over the kingdom of night had increased to 80%.

And Accord was created in 6230. 

In the kingdom of night.

In the kingdom of night

WHICH THE ALIENS HAD TOTAL OCCUPATION OVER, AND WERE USING TO BEGIN PRODUCING THEIR FIRST MACHINE LIFEFORMS. 

Accord isn’t a product of the Army of Humanity. Isn’t a product of humanity at all.

Accord didn’t come from YoRHa. 

Accord is a product of the aliens. 

She’s a machine!

I want to go back to the tower. Don’t worry, no more talk about time and seeds and light and arks and useless crap like that

At least, not for the next… I don’t fucking know. 1,000 words. Lol.     Lol😬

Do you remember what was inside the tower, aside from the ark itself? Aside from the countless copiesof B/E models? 

The library. 

An exact replica of Popola’s library, all the way back from Replicant. 

And I always saw this moment at its face value. Oh, it’s THE library. The library that holds all the records for the machines is a copy of the one from the other game. Cool.

Same thing with when Popola’s office appeared in both the game and the anime, though they both served mildly different purposes. 

But when I looked at these moments as I was writing this theory I thought… hm. Why here? 

So I did what every normal fan does and 

I read the Drakengard 3 complete guide. 

4/5ths of it. 

Long day. Thank you Accord’s Library.

But among the things I took note of, this page caught my eye: 

A page that’s Basically an outline of the timelines in Drakengard 1, 2 (told you it’s technically canon, bitch), and the first NieR. Done by accord. 

Let’s zoom in on NieR’s, actually. 

Atta boy. First of all, fucking banger of an image. Second of all, so… did…

Did an Accord meet Devola & Popola? Because if so… 

… it makes a lot more sense as to why the machines’ archives are stored in an identical copy of their library. 

What I’m getting at is that I think Accord had some involvement with the data recorded in the tower, or at least… the tower itself. 

Second of all. Let’s go back to the complete guide, and narrow our focus on its documentation of the games’ events— specifically, the branching phenomena. 

Something interesting that I noticed is that everything regarding either 

Accord 

Or

Branch activity at all

Is labeled as “Top Secret.”

And yeah, this is probably just for some cool flare or whatnot, but I really want to narrow down the Accord stuff in this. 

From what I was able to get translated off this page, I actually found some very interesting things.

To start, it’s described that the fact Accord is an android/machine/whatever the fuck at all is… prohibited information. That she was a “machine made from an advanced civilization in the Old World. Specifically… prohibited to be published.” It’s also described as being “an embarrassing secret.”

The “embarrassing secret” thing could honestly just be in Accord’s own words, but I don’t think the “prohibited” part is.

After all, it was also prohibited for Accord to intervene like she did in Ending D. 

So she’s prohibited from interfering with events in a timeline, as well as ever disclosing her identity as an Android/machine…which she also considers an “embarrassing secret.”

And we should also talk about the… the fucking… NieR Desktop PCs that have lore on them. I fucking hate this franchise. 

4198 AD Humanity's extinction is confirmed. All records relating to humans are moved to maximum-pirority folders, and backups are sent to regional quantum servers for safekeeping.

5012 AD An Attack by aliens from outer space is recorded. Numerous buildings and androids are destroyed, and some quantum servers are catastrophically damaged.

5155 AD Machine lifeforms created by these unidentified alien visitors launch an ark into space, resulting in a new divergence. An attempt is then made to sync up with servers from the past.

2021 AD Synchronization with past server is successful. As the original network was small and designed for personal use, expansion will be required. - Accord

First of all, quantum servers. Server. COUGH COUGH. Memory server. 

(Also, it’s mentioned that there is a quantum server in the Forest of Myth in another one of these… most likely being, Sleeping Beauty itself. Obvious.)

Anyways. 

Second of all… the ark launching causes a “divergence.” 

Not a branch, a divergence. There’s a difference between the two. 

It’s kind of hard to explain in words, but thankfully— the Complete Guide has a trusty visual aid. 

So the ark did breach off into separate timelines… and Accord doesn’t at all sound concerned.

In fact, she sounds like she fucking contributed to it. 

I might be totally tripping as I’m sure I’ve been this entire post but this all makes it sound like she herself was the one, or one of the ones, who recorded & stored all the records we see in Automata into the Ark. 

especially when you read what the other PC had to say.

2021 AD A certain manufacturer releases a high-spec personal computer. This model of PC, designed to receive perpetual updates via the network, is soon adopted across the globe.

2025 AD These PCs, now spread the world over, begin to link up and share data as part of a neural-networking experiment conducted by the manufacturer without the knowledge of its users.

2032 AD Large-scale data breaches and acts of cyberterrorism are carried out over the network, during which time information regarding Replicant technology is leaked. The experiment is soon halted, and the computers stop receiving updates.

3021 AD A thousand years after the experiment, consciousness data from these computers is detected on the network. The Collection and merging of this data is performed by the quantum server located in the Forest of Myth.

Hey, look. The times match up. 2021 AD, 2021 AD. 

But if we carry over the fact that this is all coming from Accord…

“These PCs, now spread the world over, begin to link up and share data as part of a neural-networking experiment conducted by the manufacturer without the knowledge of its users.”

Hm. 

Go back to Reincarnation. What did it say Accord’s purpose was?

This puppet’s goal

is to observe how humans live their lives. 

Maybe it’s just me. That’s a new one. 

One of the few things we’ve known about Accord, for sure, is her goal of recording singularities, branches, etc., all in order to prevent the collapse of all timelines. 

I don’t think we ever got “study human lives” in the equation. 

And so I thought. Maybe we did. Maybe I just looked over that answer, too. Maybe…

.

It was her original purpose? 

Okay. 

I’m sure one thing has been lingering in your head as you’ve read all this.

I’m gonna lead up to a big reveal that Accord is secretly a big bad evil, who is recording the world and beyond for the machines,and that we should watch out for her or some shit. 

I think the complete opposite.

Because while I said that she’s prohibited from ever interfering with events in a branch… which she is. 

Here’s the kicker.

She does it anyway. 

In ending D, Accord breaks that “rule” and runs in at the last second, ensuring that the flower would be sealed off in that branch. 

Why did she do this? Is she stupid? 

And the best answer we’re given is… firstly, Zero. 

Whatever feelings Zero made Accord feel while recording the events of Drakengard 3 were so strong that she went against that prohibition just to help her, even if it meant getting herself killed. 

And do you remember the “embarrassing secret” comment I brought up when discussing the information in the Complete Guide? How I concluded that that phrasing was likely coming from Accord’s own perspective? 

Perhaps she considers her identity as a “puppet from the old world” an “embarrassing secret”… because Accord isn’t affiliated with the machines anymore.

She’s been working against them. 

The most recent Reincarnation update as of this script revealed a shit ton of really, really important lore. 

The Cage is inside of a Seed. Humanity is planning on Reincarnating. 

But out of everything there’s one thing that I… genuinely did not see coming. It was probably the most obvious reveal out of everything, but still. 

After the Ark leaves, the machines who left on it begin assimilating everything. 

They start collecting data to an almost catastrophic degree, eradicating androids. Building a kingdom, taking over earth.

Not just earth— If I read it right, their goal is to completely dominate all timelines, all earths. That is, until a civil war between machines breaks out. 

And what occurs sometime after this is, presumably, NieR:Reincarnation. Inside of The Cage, a repurposed Seed of Destruction perhaps taken from the machines & used now to store the data of humanity so that they may one day resurrect. 

But here’s the real kicker. A seed taken from the machines? 

Yes. If I’m correct, the machines have access to the seeds. It could just be what is giving them the power to assimilate on such a catastrophic scale. 

And they’re bringing them across timelines… ah! You know what that sounds like? 

Exactly what I fucking said about the Ark. Shit’s clicking. I think. I could totally be wrong about this and if I am my bad. 

But let’s go back, back to Accord. Samurai Jaccord. Or something idk

When I brought up the two biggest questions regarding her mere existence, I skipped over one. 

“How does she time travel?” 

And the question always kind of nagged at me. It felt like an obvious answer but it just… wasn’t. 

Until I asked a different question. How does she copy herself? 

It’s brought up time and time again that there is no given answer as to how Accord just has so many… identical copies of herself. 

And while it would lead me to just believe she’s a line of machines, I… no. Because that’s not what it sounds like at all. 

It always just reads as though the original Accord found a way to copy herself on her own.

Copying herself… copy, copy… wait. We’ve seen something that copies. We’ve seen something capable of storing data. We’ve seen something capable of traveling across worlds. 

And just like that, I found my answer. She uses the Seeds to time travel and copy herself.

And how might she have initially gotten her hands on one of these seeds?

Well… perhaps, the machines. Whom she was very likely affiliated with, before this war.

She collected the data from humanity and stored it in the ark. Surely it wouldn’t be so hard for Accord to snatch it all back and put it into the Cage, right? 

After all… she’s said to come from the old world. Perhaps whatever was the first iteration of the Ark breaching… is the “Old World.” It’s said the machines built a kingdom. 

And at the end of this update, we see Pod fly towards a city in white. 

And do you know what this city fucking looks like? Guess. Just. Fucking. Guess. 

IT’S FUCKING CATHEDRAL CITY. 

It’s a time loop. It’s a time loop, and it’s not a new time loop— it’s been a time loop. And who the hell knows how long this shit has been going on. 

The Complete Guide mentioned that one specific entity was causing altercations to the “flow of time”— Accord! And no, that’s not a theory— the book legitimately states that Accord is causing changes in time itself.

Hell, if we’re going with the possibility that Accord uses the Seeds in some way to traverse time and space, perhaps she copies herself for every time she does it. For every jump in time, she’s replicated. 

And given the ending of Drakengard 3… Girl’s been going at it for a while.

A couple more things I’d like to bring up before we reach the “conclusive statement” of this post. 

I say Accord is a machine… what do I mean by that? Earlier I compared her appearance to Adam, does this mean I think Accord is moreso akin to him & Eve? 

No. Because like I also pointed out earlier, Accord isn’t organic like we see they are. She doesn’t bleed. Not even when Zero drives that sword straight through her abdomen in order to kill One. One bleeds, a fucking lot, nothing from Accord. I’m gonna quit talking about fictional characters bleeding. Anyways. 

No, I think it’s more likely that she’s closer to something like 2P and the P(uppet) units I mentioned earlier, or just… any regular machine. 

Secondly, let’s go back to Utahime Five. She’s only in it for like, what, a panel? But I feel as though this singular panel says a lot.

First of all, the Mercurius Gate is what “holds the knowledge of the world” in Drakengard 3. Accord is its “receptionist”, as we see, and she noticeably looks “younger” here. As young as, you know, a machine CAN be.

And if we take into consideration the Copied City’s connection to the Cathedral City, and perhaps now the Ark’s connection to the Mercurius Gate, it would make sense as to why Accord here is its receptionist. 

Perhaps this was her original function. A puppet who observes how humans live their lives, storing that data & then serving as its receptionist. Which would give her such an easy out to snatch some of that data back when the time came. 

But there’s another thing. How come she looks so much younger here? She’s a machine, I don’t think machines age like… people do? Unless there’s like… Robots 2005 logic you can apply here… 

which I doubt. I don’t know the answer to this one. And I don’t wanna just spew more bullshit I’ll probably be pulling out of my asshole. Continuing. 

Thirdly. What about in Automata? If Accord’s… you know… giving out weapons to the Resistance, as told to us in this line:

“Oh, the lady who owns the place sends ‘em over every once in a while. Her name’s Accord, and she’s the proprietor of this here business. I just tend to customers and keep all the repair devices humming. I only see her every few years, to be honest. She mostly just uses delivery drones to drop things off. I don’t know where she gets this stuff, but most if it’s in pretty good condition! Say, if you ever happen to run into her, say hello for me, all right?”

how could she be affiliated with the machines? 

Well. Like I said, the most likely answer to the time loop is that we aren’t seeing its first go-through. It’s been happening, and there are already a possible infinite amount of Accords in the… whatever zone. 

I wanna focus on two lines here. 

“I only see her every few years, to be honest. She mostly just uses delivery drones to drop things off.”

Her using delivery drones is… interesting. It makes sense. I imagine that in timelines that are, at least in certain ways, “going strong” she wants to minimize her interactions with the world to as limited as possible. 

Meanwhile in Drakengard 3, as shit was going to shit, Accord was just outright toying with Zero until eventually intervening during the fight with One. 

(Why she then was then showing things in her bag to Yonah I… don’t really know.)

Fourthly. 

Group B. 

From Sinoalice:

August 2 The origins of Group B is still largely unknown. It is believed they come from an undiscovered branch. I suspect the reason why they remained unnoticed for so long is because they have set up Recorders near Singularities to keep us away from them.

March 12 The last time there was a Cataclysm, it gave rise to a large number of Group B. They even have weaponry capable of countering our aerial weapons… things are getting out of hand. We’ve managed to keep them at bay so far, but if this situation continues, we will be completely overpowered.

June 5 It seems that we Recorder models, will need to adapt. The development of replaceable armament parts is progressing, but more investment is needed. Weapons distribution needs to be increased to facilitate memory recollection. There is lot of work to do.

August 8 The previous Recorder was destroyed by Group B. Since there is a possibility that it was captured, I’ll have to request assistance from the Association.

This Group B is something I didn’t really touch on ever due to having literally no fucking clue what it could be, but recently it was brought up again in the anime, so I’m bringing it up now. Because I think I might have an idea. 

The first bolded line. “I suspect the reason why they remained unnoticed for so long is because they have set up Recorders near Singularities to keep us away from them.” 

I think that Group B, in some way or another… is Accord. At least, variants of her that are more malicious.

Variants of her that are… still affiliated with the machines? Time is most likely all happening at once, in separate universes/timelines, and therefore while one group of accords are on our side, the other still is with the machines, from the “past.” I sound like a fucking flatlining heart rate monitor I’m so sorry. 

Anyways… shit. You know what just clicked? Everything in this makes sense. 

Do you remember Michael’s novella, when he and the other dragons were battling “puppets”/“insects”? 

That was Group B. It had to have been, given that we know there is some weird kind of connection between the dragons of Drakengard and the Dragons from the “Kingdom of Night”, and that these dragons in the kingdom were deployed to fight against machines and aliens inside the kingdom. 

And wanna know something? It’s parroted information, but the first of the Dragon machines and Accord were created around the same time, same area. But no matter how hard I try and convince myself otherwise, everything points to these two entities having not been originally created by the same entity.

And guess the fuck what? I’m not even theorizing about Accord being both group A and B, I’m just rewording actual canon. 

In Sinoalice, there are two characters, these two:

That Accord is said to be the “ancestor” of. Fucking.   They’re puppets. They are puppets with red eyes. And they’re fucked up little assholes.

And not only, but these two characters are also “mutated variants” of, what? Group B. Two characters are descendants of Accord & simultaneously variants of Group B, what conclusion does that leave? Accord and Group B are connected. Accord is Group A, the Accords still with the machines are Group B, Group A and Group B are both Accords. Circle A on your SpongeBob SquarePants punnet square worksheet and meet me after class

Going off of this, it’s said that Group B also has the capability to change forms based off parts they assimilate from other entities. And… hm. Hm!

If we apply that this same power hasn’t changed for Group A, then we just answered two questions regarding Accord. 

First thing. How I mentioned that she looks younger in Utahime Five compared to her appearances in everything else. If she has the ability to change forms due to whatever she “assimilates”, then that explains why she looks slightly older now.

(Could also possibly explain the existence of male accords too, like in the stage play? I don’t know bro…….. I’m deep but not that deep)

Secondly. Ancestors… ancestor… hm…

Could she be. Um. 

Could Accord have been the first “android-like” machine? And it’s because of this that she’s not as “advanced” as the ones we see, like Adam and Eve who are all but virtually organic beings? 

Perhaps that’s why Adam resembles her so fiercely. And fuck, I just realized— it’s not just Adam. It’s N2. 

And this time I promise I’m not just talking about black hair and pronouns. 

I’m talking about narrative framing. 

They’re basically inverses of each other. One’s trying to resurrect humanity while the other is actively pushing for its decimation on a dimensional scale. 

Actively pushing back against one another. Constantly observing. Constantly… watching. And both possibly created by entities who once did the same.

Fifthly. And at last, finally. 

What does Accord have to do with the Cage? 

Well. It’s something very, very interesting. 

The Cage, formerly situated on the moon before… for some reason… being found on Earth, is what’s keeping humanity alive. 

At least, their data. Their data from all timelines, if I recall. And from cameos we are given little breadcrumbs that tell us Accord is very likely its creator.

And this Cage, inside of a seed, is revealed to be what is intended to bring humanity back— to resurrect them. 

If this seed, this Cage, is destroyed— everything is destroyed. Humanity dies.

I fully believe that this event, the destruction of the cage— if it happens, this will be the Fall-Down. The destruction of all timelines. The destruction of humanity. 

And think about all the characters we see from the games in Reincarnation. 2B, A2, 9S. Nier, Kaine, Emil. Even fucking Zero herself.

It’s all their data. It’s not them, per se— just their data. Why’s Joker Persona 5 there? Ummmmmm shhhhhhhhhh 🤫 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

And you know what? I think I just solved another question I’ve had for ages. 

We know who took Angelus’ body. 

During the legion war, Angelus’ body is stolen from where it’s being kept and we just… genuinely do not know where the fuck it went. At all. Not a fucking clue. 

But do you know what I’m wondering now? Maybe Accord took it, and she’s in the cage. Because look at THIS. FUCKING. SCENE. 

While Yuzuki and Hina are going through this weird “gallery” of paintings (WHY IS IT ALWAYS FUCKING PAINTINGS BY THE WAY. maybe accord & adam were in the same art class), a FUCKING DRAGON FLIES OUT OF NOWHERE, GOES INTO THE PAINTING, AND DIES. Obviously it’s just a reference to the only thing in Drakengard 1 that ever gets referenced— but we’re already so fucking deep I can’t see shit. I’m going with it. 

And finally… finally, finally… I think I have everything. And if I’ve just confused the fuck out of you all for the last 7000+ words, allow me to attempt to amend that with my concluding…. bullet points

•The Ark the machines use to traverse time & space is a Seed of Destruction, in some shape or form, which we’ve seen them possess before. Seeds can also be used to store memories & “data”.

•The “light” frequently referenced throughout the series is most likely in reference to The Great Time. 

•The Aliens of Automata are most likely connected to the Watchers of Drakengard in some genetic way. 

•Accord is a machine, who stole data from humanity without their knowledge for the machines’ server.

•She later rebelled when their assimilation began and created the Cage.

•Accord uses the Seed(s) to copy herself & possibly time travel as well. 

•The humans of Midgard were always right; there is an Egg of Resurrection. 

And. That’s. EVERYTHING. 

Shit. Sorry if this all kind of fell apart near the end, this took waaaay too long to finish up and every time I got close new shit got revealed that I could add. YAY.

But anyways. Hope you guys liked my nonsense, and until next time,

Hold on.

I just realized something. 

…I think I was wrong. 

Like, completely wrong, about something. One thing. Completely wrong about one, small thing. 

Accord… isn’t the only character we see in these games that can travel across time and space.

…So does Caim.

At the end of Drakengard 1, ending E, he and Angelus send themselves and the Mother Angel (Queen Beast) across time into modern day Tokyo. This event is what would cause the NieR timeline to kickstart at all, bringing the origin of MASO as well as…

.

This event is what… caused NieR to occur. 

This… event… caused… NieR. 

This event caused NieR Replicant, which caused NieR Automata, in which the Ark was formed, in which the first Accord was created, in which assimilation began and kickstarted the time loop. 

And the real kicker? Remember when I brought up “Singularities”? Entities with the capabilities to cause branches and alter timelines. The ones that we know of include Zero, Two, and recently, Kaine— 

but with information given by Drakengard 3’s Complete Guide, we were given three more. These being, 

Nier, 

Nowe,

And CAIM. 

It’s confirmed. Thank fuck, by the way— one of the biggest portions of the original twin theory was me trying to prove that he was a Singularity at all, but little did I know the truth was right under my nose. Waiting. For ten years. I’m the smartest bitch on planet earth 

But there’s something… off, I feel. 

In every instance of a singularity taking effect that we’ve gotten to see they always stay on the same… I guess, “Earth.” The branch changes, I guess, but the earth really doesn’t.

I’m saying this, because

Caim branches into an entirely different world, and he brings the two beings that shall end yet another humanity with it.

I’d bet the Gods were sure happy about that. More humans to…

?

I’d bet the Gods were sure happy about that. 

What? Hang on. 

Look at that. 

These birds show up right before the Queen Beast falls into Tokyo. Birds have always been common imagery in these games, usually for symbolic purposes. 

But every time Drakengard 1 uses this kind of imagery it’s… weird. The birds are weird.

Especially inverse of this, the very beginning of the game:

It’s in the opening cutscene of Drakengard 1. Furiae says, “It begins.” 

(What begins? What does she already know…?)

And after a fade to white, we cut to a bird circling in the sky over the battlefield Caim is currently in. The very same one where he will be fatally wounded, forcing him to forge a pact with Angelus, the beginning of the end. 

It always struck me as odd as to why this shot was included. Why include such seemingly meaningless imagery as… you know, a bird flying. Like a bird can do. 

Well, that’s the thing with Drakengard 1. It’s by far the entry in this series with the heaviest religious imagery and theming.

And thus, with that in mind…

I looked it up. 

What is the significance of a bird circling in the sky?

Oh. 

So… It’s an Omen. 

It’s an Omen. 

A bird circling in the sky is considered an omen in certain religions.

A bird circling in the sky is considered an omen that God is either sending a message from beyond, or is watching over you. 

God is watching over you.

God is watching you. 

(watching me, watching you)

Hm. Hm! In the context of this series, that’s kind of…

interesting.

[topazy]

Little dark age

Paring: Rick Grimes × reader

Warning: Swearing, zombie guts & blood, mentions of drug use

Chapter: 1.01

“Is Glenn really going down to get that guy?”

“Sure is.”

“Gods,” you groan. “Make sure nobody steals my shit while I’m gone; that idiot is going to need back up.”

With one hand, you keep a steady grip on the shaky ladders while using your free hand to shoot at any dead person that gets too close to Glenn and the new guy. With tiny chips of yellow paint rubbing on your palm, nipping it, you become impatient. “Hurry the hell up!”

Glenn screams as he runs up the side alleyway before climbing up the ladders.

The new guy seemed slightly disoriented and was taking far too long, looking from side to side as the dead started to close in on him. You shoot at the ground beside him, causing him to jump. “Unless you want to die, move! ”

With the extra weight of two grown adults and walkers grabbing at the metal bars below, you shove your gun into your waste bands and quickly start to climb back up to the roof. When Glenn gets to the top, you snatch the baseball cap from his head, causing him to frown.

“Sammi…”

Once you shake off the large spider, Glenn was yet to notice, you toss the baseball cap back to him, “you almost got yourself killed, dumbass.”

“I was saving... the guy in the tank from the geeks.”

“Yeah, well, don’t be surprised if the others are pissed. You’ve just attracted a shitload of walkers.”

When the new guy gets to the top of the ladders, you take in his clothing, a police uniform with a couple of badges on it. You offer him your hand, “sheriff?”

He nods.

Once the new guy is up on the roof, Glenn leads the way back to the hatch and goes to the next building, where the rest of your scavenging group is waiting. Glenn opens and it’s going to step down, then suddenly stops. “There was something on my hat, wasn’t there?”

“No, of course not.”

He shivers before going down first.

—

While Andrea and Morales explain to the new guy that all the noise he made attracted the dead, you continue to shove things that you deem necessary into one of your backpacks. The class surrounding the bottom ground of the store starts to crack with walkers banging on the glass windows.

“I can’t get a signal on the radio,” T-dog says. “We are going—”

He’s cut off by the sound of a gunshot. Another one goes off, and Andrea pinpoints the sourness of the sound, “It’s Dixon.”

You look down at the rest of your group's belongings and frown. You snatch your other bag and begin to storm towards the staircase leading up to the roof. “That bastard has my gun!”

—

Merle laughs when the others tell him to stop firing at the walkers. Holding up the guy, he says, “Hey! You ought to be more polite to a man with a gun! ”

“My gun,” you snap. “You thieving little crackhead.”

Merle was one of the most vile, insufferable men you’d ever met in your life. He blows you a kiss and jumps down from the ledge he’s on. It only takes a matter of seconds for Merle to racially and physically attack T-dog. You try to pull him off but get backhanded, causing your lip to slip open.

Groaning, you push yourself up onto your elbows.

Merle spits on T-dog before standing over him. “Yeah! All right! We’re going to have ourselves a little powwow, huh? Talk about who’s in charge. I vote for me. Anybody else?”

From the way his eyes are dilated, you can tell Merle was high on something. You watch as the new guy gets to his feet behind him quickly and creeps up on him.

“Show off your hands, huh? All in favor, huh? Oh, come on. Let’s see them! All in favor?” Merle raises his own hand and points the gun at the others until they copy his actions. “Now that means I’m the boss, right?”

The new guy picks up your gun that Merle tossed and hits him in the face with it, knocking him to the ground. He handcuffs him to one of the metal pipes connected to the ground on the roof.

“Who the hell are you, man?”

“Officer friendly,” he answers, grabbing Merle by the collar of his top. “Things are different now. There are no colored people anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. The living and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart.”

“Screw you, man.”

“I can see you have a habit of missing the point.”

“Yeah, well screw you twice.”

The guy presses his gun against Merle’s head. “I ought to be polite to the man with a gun. Only common sense.”

You wipe the metallic-tasting liquid mixed with saliva off your chin with the back of your hand. Glenn hands you a piece of ripped-up fabric. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” You get to your feet, go to Merle, and kneel in front of him. “All of Dixon’s common sense was snorted away a long time ago.”

The man tilts Merle’s head back to see traces of white powder stuck to the bottom of his nose while you search his pockets. You pull out a little glass tube of white powder and ask, “What is it, cocaine? Ketamine? Heroin?”

“Put it back, you little bitch!”

“Suppose it doesn’t matter what it is,” you shrug before tossing the tube off the roof.

Merle kicks his legs and roughly pulls at the handcuffs. “When I get out of these cuffs, I’m going to make you pay for that! You fucking cu—”

He abruptly stops talking when the new guy clicks the safety off his gun.

—

You walk around the clothing section of the store to kill some time. With Glenn and Morales gone to scope out a potential way out, there wasn’t a lot left to do.

Hearing footsteps, your hand immediately goes to your handgun, but relaxed it when you realize who it is. “Hey new guy,” you say, putting your hand out. “I didn’t catch your name before.”

He shakes your hand. “It’s Rick, Rick Grimes.”

“Well, Rick, thanks for shutting that asshole up.” You push some clothes around on a clothing rack. “Honestly, if I wasn’t for the fact that I like Merle’s brother, I would have taken a shot at him a long time ago.”

His eyes land on your dog's tags, but he doesn’t ask about them. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Samara Rose Blake, but everyone just calls me Sammie Rose.”

Rick goes to say something but rolls his tongue and shakes his head. You go back to looking through the clothes, fully aware that you’re being observed.

“Do you have kids?” He asks, watching as you pick up two child-sized jackets.

“No, but there’s a couple of kids back at camp, and you can’t go wrong with lightweight jackets. You? I heard you say you’re looking for your family.”

“I have a wife and son, who I haven’t seen since... well, I haven’t seen them in the new world.”

Andrea comes into the room and says, “They're back.”

From the look on her face, you know it’s not good news.

—

“This is a suicide mission,” you grumble.

With the tunnel Morales and Glenn went down being a dead end, the group came up with a new plan. Someone would break into a vehicle, bring it up to the side of the building for the others to get into, and then drive away. The plan was easy enough, except for the part where someone needed to do all this without being spotted by walkers.

“A suicide mission your on, baby,” T says before rubbing zombie guts onto the king white coat that covered most of your body.

Rick had found gloves for everyone to wear while rubbing zombie blood and guts onto Rick, Glenn, and you. The smell was revolting, and the thought of walking outside amongst the dead terrified you, but you were so used to going scavenging with just Glenn that the thought of him going out there without you as backup didn’t feel right. To get the zombie insides on the outside, Rick had to drag a body from outside and cut it up with an ax.

Jacqui places a wooly hat on top of your head and tucks your hair underneath before putting zombie guts on your back.

After a few moments, you slowly twirl. “Do you think we have enough on?”

“Yes,” Andrea says, waving her hand. “You guys smell revolting.”

—

You let out a shaky breath before opening the door to go outside. “I sure hope this plan works; otherwise, I’m throwing you to do the dead first, Rick Grimes.”

“Noted,” he tried to keep a serious tone, but hints of a smile pulled on his face.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door for the three of you to take a gamble on your lives.

Mimicking the dead’s moments, you drag yourself underneath a few vehicles before coping with how they walk. You subtly look at Rick, wondering if he’s the same Rick Grimes you’ve heard Carl and Lori talk about. You thought about asking him before what his kid name was but didn’t want to give him false hope in case it was coincidentally the same.

Oh shit.

The sun disappears behind thick, dark clouds quickly, and rain starts lashing down. Washing the scent of death from your blood-soaked coats.

“The smell is washing off. Isn’t it?” Glenn asks.

"No, it’s not,” Rick says sternly. When a walker's stare lingers on him, he changes his mind and says, “Well, maybe.”

The second you hear a roaring sound, you know your covers are blowing. “Run!”

Rick manages to kill a few zombies with the ax before you reach the fence blocking off the parking lot from the rest of the street. The three of you make it into a large van just as the fence collapses and the walkers break through.

“Oh, my god. Oh, my god. They’re all over that place,” Glenn says, panicked.

“Our people are safe on the inside for now,” you attempt to reassure him. “They will probably have been distracted by the noise we made, anyway.”

“She’s right,” Rick says. “Glenn, you need to draw them away. Those roll-up doors at the front of the store—that area? That’s what I need cleared up. Raise your friends; tell them to get down there and be ready.”

“And I’m drawing the geeks away, how? I missed that part.”

“Noise.”

—

You smash the window of a bright red sports car, tripping the alarm, and swiftly reach inside and unlock the door before hot wiring it. You get out and squeeze Glenn’s shoulder. “You’ve got this man; I’ll see you real soon.”

“Yeah, yeah, be safe.” Nervously, he gets in and speeds away, distracting all the walkers coming your way while you run and jump back into the van.

Rick gives you a questioning look.

“What?”

“Do I ever want to ask how you know how to hotwire a car?”

“Definitely not, sheriff.”

—

You climb to the back of the van, open the doors, and bang on the shutters, “Come on guys!”

Once your people start to enter the van, you jump back into the passenger seat and pull out your handgun, ready to shoot any walkers that come up the windows. T-dog pulls the van door shut and says, “Go, go, go!”

Rick speeds away from the building and out onto the highway. You look back to check if everyone is okay and notice someone is missing. “Where’s Merle?”

“I dropped the damn key,” T-dog says, his voice full of remorse.

Oh shit, Daryl wasn’t going to be happy your group returned without his brother.

[strogoff-era]

Why I also love Lt Graham Gore : aka me talking about my fav for far too long

This post is a companion of @earthshine-moon's post about Graham Gore ! Very good post, go read it ! Also we focus on different scenes so i think our posts are complementary

First, i just want to come back to the sleigh pulling scene. Many people hc Gore to be friend with Goodsir, and this is a very good hc. However, I dont think they're meant to be in the canon. They feel like they haven't interacted much before. And that makes Gore even nicer !! He didn't have to listen to Goodsir talk that much during the walk. He doesn't know that dude ! He could have told him to shut up but he didn't !

Also his behavior in that scene is very stricking to me not only because this is the first time we have a focus on him, but also because of the contrast with his previous scenes.

When Gore is around Franklin or Fitzjames, he is so much more serious. I think this is both professionalism and "my boss sucks ://". But when he is the highest ranking and has to take care of a group, he is thriving.

(the rest under the cut, bc im nice to your dash)

Expanding a bit on Gore's sentiment toward his superiors : Gore is very attentionate toward the crew. You can totally see it with his interaction with Goodsir, but also by how relaxed his sleigh team seems around him.

There is also the diving scene. Graham is not the focus, but he is there with Dundy and Des Voeux. (Btw, i absolutely love how Des Voeux is the lieutenants' intern. They bring him everywhere and he hates it. Just look at him during this scene, he's hilarious). When Collins asks for a surgeon and Franklin & Fitzjames refuse, you can see him frown and look at James. He knows he can't say anything but he clearly disagree. If Collins needs the reassurance of a surgeon, why not bring one ? It isn't too much to ask ? And when he leaves, you can also see he's pissed about this.

It's also in this scene where he does the adorable Nintendogs™ head tilt. I need a gif of it so bad.

Another scene I want to talk about is not actually in the show, but we have it in the script. You remember that scene where Irving shouts at Manson for being scared in the hold and Hickey goes to help him ? In the first version, it was Dundy in Irving's place and Gore in Hickey's. We were robbed !!! I couldn't find the right extract in the script and the link I found doesn't work but here is a post with a proof. I owe my life to anyone who will send me the full script of that scene.

It's hard to determine what the scene is meant to convey since I haven't read it in its context. But Gore is not afraid to call out another lieutenant in front of the men if he thinks he was in the wrong.

Also, I think "Title's no substitute to for common sense" explains his disagreement with Franklin and Fitzjames. Just because there is a power difference between you and someone doesn't mean you should take advantage of it. Had Gore survived past episode 2, I think this sentence would have summed up his decision making.

This post already took too long to write so I'm gonna end it with a bullet list of all the cool things I couldn't include :

When Des Voeux is disrespectful of the Netsilik, Gore disagrees with him. Many acting details I quoted in this post aren't in the script, but Gore being against Des Voeux on this is clearly written.

Also in the script, Gore is described as Sir John's "favorite son". Some food for the "lieutenants and their captain have a family dynamic" lovers ! But also a really good ground for Little-Gore parallels that could be great to explore in fics !

Historical Graham Gore also comes from a naval family and made his debut on his father's boat :)

Actually Sir John and Gore's relationship lives rent free in my head. Sir John loves him but not enough to write an eulogy for him, instead rambling about Jacob's Ladder for minutes before dropping his lieutenant's name right at the end. Nothing is about Gore in this speech, we learn nothing about him. I don't think this was on purpose, Sir John is just like that. But that raises the question whether he liked the Lieutenant or the man wearing that title

Both Sir John and Crozier calls him Graham btw

Historical Crozier and Graham had already met before ! Crozier was a mate on Graham's dad's ship, the one where Graham made his debut on the sea ! :D Graham was 11 at that time. Please make this fact into a Terror hc, it is very cute

Another historical fact that should become fanon : Graham played the flute

And finally, the most important fact about the Lieutenant Graham Gore : In the script, Jacko was supposed to go in his arms instead of Irving. Monkey likes him