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#I was so scared to have it repaired or anything
halloweendeity · 13 days
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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theclosetedskeleton · 11 months
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please please please let my phone not be on its shenanigans anymore. my stupid pleading isnt gonna do shit but i don't wanna confront my parents about my phone being technically broken it stressing me out bad idk if will they'll yell at me
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dirt-goth · 4 months
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One frustrating phenomenon in my life is describing something I experience daily like "Communicating with people is very difficult and I feel most my relationships are on thin ice because I am never confident I am communicating correctly/clearly/often enough for people to even care about me" and being dismissed with things like "well you are better with people than I am"
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macroglossus · 1 year
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son of a goddamn bitch my laptop's hinge just broke :( it was really expensive and i've only had it for like. a year? i have no idea what to doooooo
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 8 months
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F***ing FINALLY!!! I've been looking for stuff with a Reader saving Dogday since he's been introduced and I've only got like, three so far-
And I want this Reader to be resourceful, using anything to patch Dogday up(including scraps of Miss Delight's dress)
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I hear your calls <3
...............
"You're wasting precious time, angel. Poppy needs you. I'm only gonna slow you down. Just leave me here, and tell her I'm-"
"You'll get to tell her that yourself, Dogday. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not."
With a huff, you used the grabpack to wheel in a cart filled with an assortment of items you picked up around the Playcare area: doll parts, plush felt, metal bars, and even Dogday's other missing leg, which you have miraculously found in the playhouse.
You did your best to stitch them back onto his body, although the real challenge was fixing them up first--considering how badly they got mangled by the smaller Smiling Critters. Through sheer luck, you were still able to recognize them as his legs.
And conveniently, you've retained some of your craftsmanship skills from your days working with Playtime Co.
You were given some praise for being able to speedily patch up broken and torn-up toys, but you've never touched upon any of the "Bigger Bodies" despite seeing similar injuries on them. They simply never gave you that clearance, and dealing with blood and organs (and possible death) was something way above your paygrade.
But with Dogday, you were able to apply similar techniques you used in doll repair. You made patches out of Miss Delight's polka-dot dress to cover up any tears, and you created small mechanisms to put inside his legs that would (hopefully) enable him to walk again.
It was like you were performing a surgical operation..
Except, well..that's exactly what was going on.
Despite your unwavering determination--and the fact that you succeeded in reattaching one leg to him so far--he insisted that you were only putting yourself at risk trying to help him.
Hell, you nearly got torn apart by those little Smiling Critters who chased you both down, being scared off by the flares you shot at them. He didn't think you'd have enough..but by the grace of god, you did. And you escaped and found a safe place where Kissy Missy and Poppy were also hiding out.
Not only did you finally get a breather, but also a chance to help one of the few toys left here who somehow didn't lose their humanity.
Even so, Dogday still feared for your safety.
"You know..this will only enrage Catnap, right?" He rasped, choking out a wet cough. "He'll know that I'm missing. And he'll know you have something to do with it.."
"Wait.." Pausing in your work, you glanced up at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Why would he care about where you are? Or better yet..why would he keep you alive at all?"
"...because I was his favorite."
"Huh..?"
"Before the Prototype became his sole focus, we did everything together." He explained somberly. "We helped the others fall asleep, stayed out of trouble. Catnap and I..we were like day and night. Two peas in a pod. He brands me a heretic now, but...somehow, I don't believe he likes doing so. Maybe..he hasn't forgotten our friendship, after all."
'Well, stringing someone up by belts and ripping off half their body doesn't sound like something a good friend would do..' You thought to yourself, although you understood where he was coming from.
Yet it didn't change the fact you still wanted to kill that stupid purple cat. Especially after he gave you that hellish nightmare of Huggy crawling out of a television.
"I know you wanna believe there's still good in him, but..he's long gone." You shook your head. "Those critters..they tried crawling inside your body, and he was just gonna allow it all because you didn't wanna follow the Prototype's will."
"........"
Silence was your only reply, but you decided to shift your focus back on repairing the other leg. Dogday allowed you to work, no longer protesting as he instead looked at the stitches on his arms, feeling grateful yet unworthy at the same time.
Him and the others...they were all monsters. He never killed a single human in his existence (or at least none that he could recall), but he felt like he was just as terrible as those who did.
Eventually, you finished, and his ears perked up at your sigh of relief as you set down your tools and pushed the cart away. "There we go. Try to stand up, but take it slow. Okay?"
He nodded, feeling quite nervous as he looked at his legs, before he slowly pushed himself off the ground. For a few moments, he was able to stand, but he wobbled a little and had to hold onto the nearest wall so he didn't lose balance.
'When was the last time I had my legs? It's been so long...'
Then he felt your grabpack's hands gently steady him, and soon enough he could stand on his own without their support.
You smiled and retracted them. "How do you feel?"
"Much better...thank you, angel." Dogday looked down at you, the corners of his wide smile turning further upwards. "You truly are something divine. You've come to heal us, mend all of our broken pieces, even when we do not deserve such kindness. How could I ever repay you?"
Right as you were about to respond, you heard sounds of plush feet moving and turned around, seeing Kissy and Poppy entering the room.
You didn't really he'd nearly be as tall as Huggy's spouse.
"You fixed him! What can't you do?" The redhaired doll gasped in awe, hopping onto Kissy's hand before she was carefully transferred over to Dogday's paws, stepping into them.
He held her gently, smiling. "Poppy."
"It's so good to see you, my friend." She smiled, although it was quick to disappear. "I thought all of you were gone."
"It's just me now, and...I'm....I-I'm...." He began to sniffle, his voice breaking as the weight of everything that's happened came crashing down. "I'm so sorry...I tried so hard, but...I-I failed! I couldn't protect them!"
Thin streams of tears seeped from the corners of his eyes, darkening the fur along his cheeks. "Kickin'...B-Bobby..they all died because of me! I was supposed to be their leader, but all I did was lead them to their demise! I-I should have joined them in-"
"There, there..it's going to be alright." Poppy softly hushed him, patting his arm in comfort. "You did your best to protect them given the circumstances. I promise we'll have our chance to avenge them. But you must live, for their sake..and for [y/n]'s sake, too. They went through a lot to fix you up."
"I know but..I-I'm so scared. I don't wanna face him alone-"
"You won't be alone, because I'm gonna take care of him."
With another sniffle, Dogday looked down at you, feeling you gently petting his ear as another comforting gesture. Your eyes held nothing but sympathy and heartache for this poor creature. "I'm sorry, but we have to put him down. It's the only way we can move forward."
"Are you sure?" He mumbled. "He's gotten more powerful, and hungry-"
"So were Huggy and Mommy, but I saw how [y/n] dealt with them..and they're more than capable." Poppy remarked. "But now that Catnap's onto them, they'll need all the protection they can get."
"Then..I'll do my best to help." He finally declared, smiling at you.
You blinked, surprised that he was willing to stand up against the one who tortured him. But you simply nodded and smiled back, watching as he returned Poppy to Kissy, before he turned back to you and crouched down.
He enveloped you in a warm hug, the vanilla scent still seeping from his suit and helping you feel more at ease.
"Thank you, Dogday." You chuckled, hugging him back.
"No..thank you, my guardian angel. I will follow you to the ends of the earth."
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serpentandlily · 5 months
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Sly Fox, Dumb Bunny - Eris x Reader
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Sly Fox, Dumb Bunny V - Eris x Archeron!Reader
Summary: You find yourself ensnared by a sly, cunning fox. A very handsome, irritating one.
Warnings: angst, attempted SA, misogynistic language/beliefs, drugging (if you'd like more in depth warnings, feel free to dm me)
➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V
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Part V
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“One of the stableboys told me he spotted Lady Genevieve and Lord Vaughn sneaking out of the party together last week,” Willow said in a whisper as Ivy gasped in disbelief. 
You glanced up at them from where you were sitting at the table in Eris’s common room, sewing a hole shut on the skirt you had worn out to the woods with him yesterday. Your kiss had gotten…heated and your skirt had caught on a piece of bark on the tree Eris had you pressed against and ripped. Just thinking of it made your cheeks turn pink.
“And that’s scandalous, why?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at your handmaidens. They had insisted they repair your skirt for you but sewing was one of the skills you had actually acquired during your family’s time in poverty. Who else would’ve made sure Feyre’s hunting clothes stayed intact? 
“Well because Lady Genevieve is engaged to his brother, of course!” Ivy exclaimed. 
You opened your mouth to reply but a knock on the door made you pause. The three of you glanced at each other. Eris had mentioned he would be traveling to a nearby town for some business and wouldn’t return until morning. He advised you to stay inside with your handmaidens and take dinner in your room until his return. 
Ivy rose and made her way to the door, pulling it open to reveal one of Eris’s brothers. He placed a pale hand on the doorframe and gave her a charming, but unsettling, grin. His hair was longer than Eris’s, his stature a bit shorter and far bulkier than the refined quality your mate had. 
Ivy curtsied. “Lord Reid, how may I assist you?” 
“I’m here to escort my brother’s mate to dinner,” he purred. “Since he is unable to do so himself.” 
You stood, placing the skirt on the table as you glanced at Willow with uncertainty. Ivy’s pretty face paled. 
“B-but Lord Eris requested that Lady Archeron have dinner in his quarters tonight,” she stuttered out. 
The grin slipped from Reid’s face, a more threatening look taking over. “Are you denying me my request, nymph?”
He spat out the last word like a curse, making you flinch on your friend’s behalf. You had to bite your tongue from saying anything back knowing you’d likely just anger him further.
Ivy bowed her head. “Of course not, my Lord.”
You crossed the room, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and nudging her back. “Thank you, Ivy, I’ll take it from here.” 
That charming grin was back on Reid’s face as he looked down at you, but the look in his eyes made your legs shake. He held out his elbow like a proper escort and you had no choice but to take it, letting him pull you out of Eris’s chambers.
“Talk back to me again and I’ll have you whipped in the courtyard in front of everyone else,” Reid spat at Ivy. You gave her an alarmed look, but she shook her head at you discreetly—a warning to stay quiet. You bit your lip so hard it almost bled. 
Reid finally began to guide you down the corridor and you tried to keep your breathing under control, not wanting him to know how scared you were. Finnegan had been nothing like this, had not had that cruelty lingering in his eyes. 
“Has Eris returned?” You asked, swallowing harshly. “Is that why my presence is needed at dinner tonight?”
Reid looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, as if daring you to say more. You glanced away, not wanting him to see it as a challenge. You knew how females were regarded here. But you also wanted to know why you were being dragged down to the main dining area. 
“Are you not a part of this family now?” Reid remarked, his tone questioning but the sharpness of his words didn’t escape you. 
“Of course, my Lord,” you breathed, still staring at the floor. He hummed in response and continued to lead you down corridor after corridor until you made it to the formal dining room. 
You glanced up as you entered, taking note of who was present that you knew amongst the sea of strangers. The High Lord and his Lady, of course, as well as Finnegan and Eris’s other brother, Liam. Finn shot Reid a questioning look that went ignored while Liam sat with his eyes kept straight ahead of him. It was remarkable how alike they all looked, though none could match the beauty that Eris possessed. 
The Lady of Autumn, Seraphina, kept her eyes locked on the table—seated next to Beron who sat at the head of the table. Reid escorted you to the seat next to her, pulling out the large wooden chair for you. A feast was laid out on the table before you, empty plates set in front of each seat. A few other Lords and Ladies wandered in, taking seats at the other end of the table. You listened to their idle chit chat, clenching your skirt in your fists. 
“Why have you brought her here?” Finn hissed at Reid as the male took the seat next to him. “Eris is still in Pinecrest.” 
Reid shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure she felt included in our family. Lighten up, little brother.” 
Finn shot him a glare but Beron clanked his fork against his glass, drawing everyone’s attention. You half listened to his small speech, but focused mainly on trying to lessen the pounding of your heart. You felt so out of place, so alone here at this big table. No family. No mate. Just strangers all around you. Strangers with nefarious reputations.
Dinner began once Seraphina plated Beron his food and he took the first bite. It was like a breath of relief was let out amongst the fae at the table, their conversations picking back up. You sipped on your wine, trying not to draw attention to yourself but Reid had other plans, it seemed. 
“Have you lot had the pleasure of meeting Eris’s mate yet?” He asked, leaning back in his chair as he spoke to some Lords and Ladies. “This is her. Little thing, isn’t she? She is sister to the cursebreaker.” 
You felt the gazes of them on you as your cheeks turned pink. One of the ladies looked you up and down with a haughty look that made her face quite unpleasant to look at. 
“Are the rumors true?” She asked, her voice filled with faux innocence. “Were you truly a human before all of this?” 
“Indeed, she was,” Reid answered before you could even open your mouth. 
“How ghastly,” the female sneered, placing a hand to her chest as if she were clutching her pearls. “The Mother must’ve found it within her heart to give out some charity to those lesser the day she mated you with Lord Eris.”
Your face grew hot at her hateful words. You wished the floor would open up and suck you in whole just to get away from this table. But to your surprise, someone came to your defense. 
“Watch how you speak, Genevieve,” Finn spat. “She is soon to take the Vanserra name and if you insult her again, you'll find yourself in the position of all the others who dared to insult our family.” 
By the way Genevieve’s face paled, you could only imagine the punishment those people had faced. But hearing the familiar name caused a smile to blossom on your face. You cleared your throat and sat up. 
“Genevieve, is it?” You asked, blinking at her with wide, innocent eyes. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you, Lady, or rather how much you enjoy parties.” 
Your eyes darted to the male sitting next to her. The male who looked so similar to the one gripping her hand in his. When you looked back at Genevieve, her face had paled even more. Her lips pressed into a thin line and she focused her gaze on her plate before her.
Reid leaned in close to whisper in your ear. “So the kitten has some claws after all.” 
You wanted to roll your eyes but instead, bit your lip again to prevent you from saying something that wouldn’t be taken well. Reid leaned further into your space, causing you to press against the back of your chair with raised eyebrows. He grabbed the dish of potatoes next to you before finally seating himself correctly in his chair.
You frowned when you noticed a second dish of potatoes on his other side, closer to him, but shook it off. He was trying to rattle you—that much was obvious. 
You nibbled on your dinner, not having an appetite while seated around these faeries. You sipped on your wine, cringing a bit as the bitter liquid slid down your throat. The wine in the Night Court was far sweeter than the wine here, it seemed. 
The longer the dinner went on, the hotter the room seemed to be getting. Was it because so many fire wielding fae sat here or was this room just particularly stuffy? You fanned at your face as discreetly as you could. 
Sweat began to dribble down the back of your neck, your skin tingling at the sensation. You clenched your skirt in your fists, shifting uncomfortably in your chair. The Lady of Autumn glanced at you, taking note of your reddening cheeks and behavior.
“Are you alright, dear?” Her voice was soft, quiet, and full of concern. It was the first time you’d heard her speak. 
“It’s just a bit warm in here, isn’t it?” You replied, fanning your face again. Gods, you were so hot. It was unbearable. 
The Lady of Autumn’s nostrils flared and her eyes went wide. She placed the back of her hand against your forehead, making a noise of displeasure before pulling it away. She waved a hand towards the servants who were milling about. Ivy and Willow darted forward from where they stood against the wall behind you. 
“Lady Archeron isn’t feeling well,” she whispered to your handmaidens. “Please escort her back to her chambers for the night.” 
Both of your handmaidens sniffed before their faces paled. Ivy held out a hand to you. “Come, my Lady, let us take you to your room.”
You grabbed her hand like it was a lifeline. You nearly groaned at the feeling of her skin against yours. They ushered you out of the dining hall, hurrying you down the corridor. 
“Something’s wrong,” you moaned, pitifully. Your skin was on fire now. An ache was forming in the lower part of your stomach. Like an unrelenting itch that needed to be scratched. 
“I think someone has slipped you a breeding tonic,” Willow hissed under her breath. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, her eyebrows furrowed.
“A what?!” You exclaimed but Ivy hushed you. You spoke in a whisper, thinking of how they had sniffed you, “How do you know that? Could you smell it in my drink or food?” 
“No, my Lady,” Ivy said, hesitantly. “But your scent…it’s…Well, it’s changed.” 
“My scent? But…oh.” If your face wasn’t already red, you were sure it’d be now. Gods, they could…smell you—your awakening arousal. You were mortified. “But who would do that?” 
“I don’t know.” Willow frowned. “It’s more important we get you to your chambers before any male scents you.” 
“Why? What…what does a breeding tonic do?” 
Your two handmaidens exchanged a look before Ivy answered, “Well, my Lady, it—well it's supposed to make a female more…willing when she’s in her marriage bed.”
Your skin was itching, flushed red from all the heat you felt. You tugged at the collar of your dress. It was agonizing. “How long is this supposed to last?”
“Just a few hours,” Willow said in a soft, comforting tone. “It’s not like most males need any more than a few minutes”
“Willow,” Ivy scolded. “Now is not the time for those kinds of remarks!”
You could hardly pay attention to their conversation, your mouth drying up as the effects of the tonic worsened—causing a violent need to be touched in places you’d never been. “What will happen if a male scents me now?” 
The two girls exchanged another look. “I’m afraid some males in this court have problems with their…restraint, my Lady. And your smell right now is rather enticing, for lack of a better word. It's best not to test them when it comes to these kinds of things.” 
All the color left your face.
Willow let out a noise of distress. “Which is why we should move faster—”
“Well, what do we have here?” The three of you froze in your tracks as you nearly ran into a group of three guards coming around the corner—all dressed in armor with Beron’s seal imprinted on the center of their chests. Fuck, it was a group of the High Lord’s personal guards. “Ah, it's the little bitch mated to our High Lord’s son.” 
Your face turned bright red. 
“Watch your mouth,” Willow snapped.
The guard backhanded her before you could even blink, causing her to crumble to the floor. Ivy gasped and rushed forward, kneeling next to her. Before you could follow her, one of the guards grabbed you by the upper arm, yanking you away from your two handmaidens. 
“What are you doing? Let me go! You can’t just hit—”
“Shut up,” the guard growled in your ear. Your eyes shot to Ivy who was helping Willow off the floor, the other girl holding her reddening cheek. 
“Talk like that to me again and I’ll do worse,” the head guard snarled at Willow. “Now get lost. You’ve been relieved of your duties, ladies. We can escort the girl back to her room.” 
You tried to pull your arm free, your heart pounding in your chest. Willow and Ivy looked inclined to protest, but then they both took a step away, sending you an apologetic look. You knew there was nothing they could do in this situation that didn’t put them in risk but maybe if they left, they could go get help. You tried to convey that message with your eyes and Ivy gave you a small dip of the head, like she understood. 
As the guard began to pull you away from them, she mouthed something to you: ‘The bond.’
Understanding her message, you started to tug on the glowing gold thread in your chest, panicking as you were dragged away. The guards were snickering with each other. “Do you smell that? I think the girls in heat, Captain. Maybe we can take her downstairs for some…fun before anything else.” 
You desperately tried to yank yourself free but the guard’s grip on your arm only tightened to the point of pain. “Let me go, you sick bastards!” 
The guard that had been identified as the Captain chuckled. “Good idea. I think she needs to be taught a lesson on how to properly treat a male, don’t you think?” 
The guards laughed with their agreement and you went feral trying to break away. “If you touch me, I swear to the Gods I’ll tell Eris! He’ll kill you!”
The guards only laughed harder. “Lord Eris won’t believe you over us, girl. Keep screaming though. I do love it when they fight back.” 
You were pulled down a stone stairwell, into a lower level of the Forest House. You screamed and fought against the guards, but with three of them and only one of you…it was hopeless. You tugged and tugged on the mating bond, not really sure how it worked but hoped you had gotten Eris’s attention and that he was on his way back. 
Tears poured down your cheeks and they tossed you in what seemed to be a large storage room. Crates full of goods, barrels of wine, and shelves filled with supplies crowded the room. The Captain slammed the door shut behind him as you were scuttling to stand up. You backed away from them, your eyes darting around for anything you might be able to use as a weapon—not that you had much training.
One of the guards lunged for you and you swiftly kicked him in the groin, sending him to his knees. “You stupid bitch!”
Using the commotion as a distraction, you took off running down the shelves, trying to keep them at a distance. But one of them was much faster, grabbing you by the collar of your dress. You let out a cry as your dress ripped down the back and you fell to your hands and knees, your chin smashing against the floor. You tasted blood in your mouth as the guard grabbed your foot and started to drag you back to him but you quickly flipped onto your back and kicked him right in the nose with your other foot, hearing a satisfying crunch. 
He let out a curse, blood pouring from his nose, and you scrambled to start running away again, holding your tattered dress up. You spotted a door at the end of the room and sprinted towards it, throwing it open and darting through it before slamming it shut behind you. 
You skidded to a stop once you realized the door had only led to a broom closet. Fuck, you had backed yourself into a corner. You covered your mouth with a hand, stifling your sobs as you heard footsteps pounding your way. With nowhere to go, you backed away to the wall, facing the door. You had no option but to try and fight your way out of this. 
The door to the closet slammed open and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the impact of a body against yours. But after a moment of silence passed, you slowly opened your eyes. They widened as they took in the guard standing in the middle of the closet, his eyes darting around the small space, passing over you several times. 
“What the fuck?” he grumbled.
“Stop wasting time,” one of the other guards shouted from outside. “Pull her out of there so we can have our fun.” 
“She’s not…She’s not in here!” 
“What do you mean she’s not in there?” One of the other guards shouldered his way into the closet, pushing the other male out. “What—I saw her run in here! We all did. Where the hell did she go?”
“Does she know how to winnow?”
You stood frozen as the two guards discussed your whereabouts. How could they not see you? You were literally standing right in front of them! You looked down at your body and almost gasped when you didn’t see any part of yourself. What the hell? What….what was happening? You could still feel the ground under your feet, still feel the wall at your back. You tried holding up a hand but nothing—you couldn’t even see your own hand!
“She wouldn’t be able to winnow unless she could break through the wards down here,” the other guard grumbled. “Wards set up by the High Lord, himself. There’s no way a former human could do that.” 
You could feel yourself panicking even more now because what was happening to you?
“What the fuck is going on down here?!”
The voice of your mate caused a sob of relief to leave your mouth and it seemed whatever magic you had been using sputtered out, causing the two guards to whip their heads towards you. You sank to the ground, still clutching your tattered dress, kohl marking the tear tracks down your cheeks. 
“Lord Eris, it’s not what it looks like—”
The Captain let out a spine-chilling scream before a snap was heard and a thump of a body hitting the ground. You pulled your knees to your chest, crying out for Eris. The two guards in the closet with you whirled around as Eris stalked towards them. They held up their palms, beginning to plead, but the feral rage on your mate’s face shut them up. You’d never seen Eris look so unhinged. His normally styled hair was in disarray, his cuffs rolled up to his elbow. 
His heavy boots slammed against the floor until he was right in front of them. Eris’s amber eyes darted to you for a second and flames erupted from the edges of his body. Your eyes widened in shock. His eyes fell back on the guards, his anger causing fire to even dance in his irises. 
“Lord Eris, we can explain!”
“Shut the fuck up,” Eris snarled before two whips made entirely of fire were summoned in his hands. He lashed them at the guards and they latched around their necks before he pulled them to their knees with it. Both of the guards started choking, trying to pull at the whips now strangling them but only burnt their hands to a crisp. 
“Imagine my surprise when I felt my mate’s terror down our bond while in negotiations with the Lords in Pinecrest,” Eris growled, wrapping the whip around his hand and yanking it tighter, forcing the guards’ faces to smash against the floor. “Only to show up and have her two handmaidens tell me three of my father’s guards were dragging her—my mate—down here to force themselves on her. Consider yourselves lucky she’s still sitting here because this death will be a mercy compared to the one I had planned for the three of you.” 
The guards started to screech in agonizing pain. Blood began to bubble out of their ears, eyes and mouth and it took you a second to comprehend that Eris was burning them to death from the inside out, boiling their blood. You whimpered, slapping a hand over your mouth and nose as the smell of burning human flesh spread through the small space. You squeezed your eyes shut at the horror happening before you. 
When the two guards finally slumped all the way to the ground, their eyes cold with death, Eris stepped over them and gently picked you up off the ground, cradling you to his chest. You clutched his shirt in your hands, crying as the adrenaline you had been fighting through wore off. 
“It’s okay, little bunny,” Eris murmured in your ear. “I’ve got you.” 
“I tried…I tried—”
You were sobbing with a flood of emotions. 
“I know, I know,” he hushed you, “you did good, little bunny. You did good holding them off until I got here.”
You were vaguely aware of him carrying you out of the basement and back up the stairs. The gasps of Ivy and Willow met your ears as he emerged with you in his arms.
“Is she okay?” 
“She is now,” Eris replied, his voice still filled with anger. “I’ve got it from here. Thank you, ladies, please retire to your rooms. I’ll make sure you face no repercussions from this.” 
“Take care of her, my Lord,” you heard Willow say before two footsteps started fading away. 
You kept your face buried in your mate’s chest until you were finally back in his chambers. Eris carried you into the bathroom before seating you on the counter. He took your face in his hand, twisting and turning it, examining you for injuries. He grabbed a small towel and wetted it, before beginning to clean the smears of makeup from your face. You sat still for him, still reeling from your shock. 
Eris’s touch was so delicate as he wiped your face, the cold water soothing your hot skin. A few minutes of silence passed as you watched him focus intently on his task, small flames still dancing in his eyes from his anger. 
“You came for me,” you whispered as he dabbed your cheek with the cloth. 
“Of course I did. I always will,” he murmured back. “I’m so sorry I wasn't here, bunny. I’m so sorry it took me so long to come back.” 
You shook your head. “It’s not your fault.”
His jaw ticked and he set the cloth down before placing a hand on your cheek, his thumb rubbing your tears away. “It is. It is my fault you are in this situation. I’m so sorry that the Gods have cursed you with me.”
“Don’t say that.” You nuzzled your head into his hand. You stared up into his eyes, now noticing how dilated his pupils were—the amber color almost gone. His hand that wasn’t on your cheek was gripping the counter so hard, cracks were appearing on its surface. You suddenly remembered what started all of this. The damn breeding tonic someone had slipped you during dinner.
The breeding tonic that still had your skin on fire, still had desire pooling between your legs. And now that Eris was here, standing so close to you…His scent of crackling embers and warm cinnamon enveloped you with his own heat. Your arousal spiked, your eyes dipping to his lips. The need to kiss him, to be touched by him, was barrelling its way through you. 
You lurched forward and smashed your lips against his. Eris sucked in a breath and kissed you back with the same vigor until he came to his senses and pulled away from you, causing you to whine in displeasure. 
“Someone drugged you, bunny,” he grimaced. “I can’t…I won’t take advantage of you while you're still under its effects.” 
“Eris, please,” you begged, clenching your thighs together as the need to be touched grew and grew. “It hurts.” 
A small whine came from the back of his throat and you watched him fight against himself. You grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back down to kiss him again. You sighed as your lips made contact with his and he kissed you back with the same hunger. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer until his body was pressed against yours.
Eris’s hardening cock nudged at the place between your thighs that was throbbing with desire and you gasped. With your lips parted, he slipped his tongue in your mouth, groaning at the taste of you, deepening the kiss and utterly consuming you. 
Eris kissed and kissed you—only letting up to trail kisses down your jaw and neck. You tossed your head back with a moan, granting him more access. You needed every inch of skin to be touched by him. By his fingers. By his lips. You ached, feeling terribly empty inside. His hand slipped under your skirt, gripping your thigh. 
But you could tell he was still restraining himself. 
Your own hands fell on his shirt, starting to undo his buttons.“Eris,” you groaned as he sucked on the delicate skin on your neck. “Tell me what to do. I’ve…I’ve never—”
You wished you had kept your mouth shut because Eris stopped for a second, his lips hovering over your skin. "What do you mean, you’ve never, bunny? You've never what? Never had sex?”
You nodded your head, biting your lip. 
“Fuck,” Eris groaned against your neck before sliding his nose up the column of your throat, inhaling deeply. “I’ll make it so good for you, baby. I promise.” 
You whimpered as his words, your fists clenching his shirt. But to your dismay, Eris merely pecked you on the lips before gently taking your hands and slowly ripping them off of him. 
“But not like this, bunny,” he murmured. “Not while you're drugged. Not after what happened today.”
“Eris, please.”
Any embarrassment you might’ve felt for begging simply did not exist when you felt so incredibly heated, needing him so much. Eris let out a long breath and took a step away from you, dodging your arms that tried to pull him back in. 
“Not like this, bunny,” he repeated. “Take a cold bath, okay? It’ll help you feel better. The tonic should wear off soon. I’ll be waiting for you out there.” 
“No, Eris, please—”
But he quickly left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. You jumped off the counter and tried to open the door, but he must’ve used magic to lock it from the outside. You let out a whine, trying to tug it open to no avail. Your forehead dropped against the wood and you sighed. 
Fine, you’d take a stupid cold bath. 
· · ─────── ·♡· ─────── · ·
You sat in the cold water until your skin pruned and the effects of the tunic left your body. You rose from the bath, wrapping yourself in a towel. You noticed a pile of clothes waiting for you on the counter—a night gown and some underwear. You quickly slipped them on before finally leaving the bathroom. 
You froze in the doorway at the sight of Eris lounging on his bed, shirtless and twirling a dagger in his hand. He looked at you with a smirk and your cheeks turned bright red. Partly because he looked absolutely ravishing laying there with his toned chest and abs on display and partly because you were mortified by your behavior. 
“Don’t look so embarrassed, bunny,” he teased, setting the dagger down on his nightstand and patting the bed next to him. “Come here.” 
You shyly slid on the bed next to him, letting him take you in his arms. You let out a small breath, resting your head on his chest. It felt so right being here, in his embrace. Safe and perfect. Like his arms were the home you’d been looking for all your life. The mating bond sang in your chest. 
“Do you feel better?” 
You nodded, wordlessly. He muttered out a “good” before he started stroking your hair. You closed your eyes and melted into his arms. Tonight had been so scary. You didn’t even want to think about what would have happened to you if Eris hadn’t come in time to stop the guards. 
“I’m going to find out who drugged you,” Eris murmured. “And they’re going to pay for it.” 
“Eris, something…happened when I was down there with those guards,” you whispered, running your finger in swirling patterns on his chest. “When I was in the broom closet, it was like they couldn’t see me. I couldn’t see myself, either. It was like I had gone invisible.”
Eris hummed in thought. “Your sisters got powers from the cauldron, did they not? Did you get the same?” 
“No, I mean, I’ve never been able to do anything other than the basic stuff all High Fae can do,” you answered. “I’ve never shown any other sorts of power. I don’t think the Cauldron gifted me anything like it did with Elain. And I certainly didn’t try to steal from it like Nesta did.” 
“Yesterday, in the forest, you said something about me looking right at you and not seeing you,” Eris brought up. “I disregarded it at the time but…bunny, maybe the Cauldron did gift you something.”
“You think it gifted me something? Like what? The power of invisibility? I’ve never even heard of that!”
You hated that it made sense. Hated that, of course, the sister who had felt left behind, felt stuck in the background, unseen, would be gifted the power of invisibility. 
“Maybe it’s now finally emerging. Do you remember anything from that day?” 
You shook your head. “I remember being tossed into the Cauldron. I remember…I remember how it felt to be torn apart and put back together. But I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t even remember how I got out of the Cauldron or how I got to the Night Court afterwards.” 
“And you’ve never asked your sisters about it?”
“I did ask Feyre once she returned. But she told me I was unconscious when the Cauldron tipped me out and that Mor winnowed all three of us out that day.” 
“You know, after you left the meeting,” Eris remarked,
“Tamlin mentioned that you never came out of the Cauldron.”
“What? But that makes no sense! Why would he say that?” 
“There’s something Rhysand and Feyre are hiding. Wouldn’t be the first time the Night Court kept information from someone—especially Rhysand.”
You placed your chin on his chest, staring up at him with a small glare. “I know you don’t have a great relationship with my family, but my sister would not lie to me.” 
Eris raised an eyebrow, not looking convinced. “Maybe even your sister doesn’t know. Maybe Rhysand is lying to her, too. That kind of power…a lot of people would want to have someone like you in their court, bunny.” 
“He wouldn’t lie. Not to Feyre.”
You couldn’t help but defend your family. Eris seemed to let it go for now, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ll figure it out, bunny.” 
You laid your head back down on his chest with a sigh. “Can I ask you something?” 
“Go ahead.” 
“What really happened with Mor that day in the forest, Eris? I need to know. I need to know before…before this can happen. I need to know why my family hates you so much.”
Eris let out a long breath. “I knew this would come up eventually. I’ll tell you, bunny, but you have to understand something. You got a taste of some of the horrors of this court tonight. Things I’ve been trying to put a stop to and change my whole life. But I can only do so much without my father suspecting me of being a traitor. And he’s not above killing any of his own sons.” 
The idea of Beron killing Eris caused both fear and rage to build up inside of you. Your grip on your mate tightened as you frowned. Eris ran his hand up and down your arm in a soothing motion. 
“When my father and Mor’s father forced a marriage alliance on the two of us, it was, in part, a test for me on my father’s behalf. I was young and not as careful as I should’ve been and I think he could see the rebellious attitude in me. I think he thought I’d stop at nothing to somehow make them rescind the alliance proposal.”
“You didn’t want to marry Mor?” 
“Gods, no,” Eris snorted. “And Keir is just as bad as my father. The thought of those two falling into a partnership…Anyways, my father forced me to make a bargain with him. See, he thought I’d fuck it up by trying to bed her before we were properly married. Which, of course, I wouldn’t have. But I played along, not wanting him to think of other things I might do. And he knew my one weakness at the time. My Mother. He made me bargain that I would not lay a single finger on her before we were wed and if I did, he would out my mother for an affair she had and punish her with death.”
You gasped and sat up to look at him. “Eris, that’s awful!” 
“I thought so too,” Eris chuckled, mirthlessly. “So that day Keir dumped Mor in the forest, beaten to near death, I knew if I touched her the bargain would alert my father and though I doubt that would’ve counted in his eyes, he still would’ve taken her and some who knows what. I couldn’t alert anyone about her either because the guards that were with me that day were my father’s personal ones. They watched my every move and reported them back to my father. I had to make a choice, one that haunts me to this day.” 
“The choice to keep your mother safe,” you said. “And to not let your father know that Mor was there, in your court?” 
He nodded his head. “Yes. I lingered in the area long enough to catch sight of that Illyrian brute’s shadows and knew he’d come sniffing around for her. So I made sure the guards were far away so he could slip in and out without them alerting my father.” 
“And all these years,” you said, sadly, “All these years no one knew the truth of why you made that decision. No one except you and your father?” 
“The Night Court’s hasn’t always had an outstanding reputation, bunny,” Eris replied. “I didn’t know if I could trust them. And when I realized they already decided I was as much of a monster as my father, I had little interest in convincing them otherwise.”
“But Eris, you deserve better than that—”
“No, bunny, I don’t,” Eris sighed. “I’ve done a lot of bad things. I can only hope that things might change when my father is no longer on the Autumn throne.” 
You linked your fingers with his, grasping his hand. “As long as it’s you sitting on it, Eris, I think they will. You are not what people think you are. You are not a monster.” 
“I don’t care what everyone thinks. I don’t care if I’m the villain in their stories,” Eris said. “I only care that I’m not the monster in yours.” 
You folded your arms on his chest, plopping your chin on the back of your hands to stare up at him. 
“You’re no monster to me. You’re my sly fox,” you teased. 
Eris gave you his signature fox-like grin that caused butterflies to flutter around in your stomach. Your heart beat to the same rhythm of the mating’s bond soft melody. You could hear his beating too. 
“And you are still my dumb, little bunny.” 
· · ─────── ·♡· ─────── · ·
a/n: I don't normally like making characters virgins but I felt like it fit this character in particular. Hope you liked this part!!
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*If you asked to be on the taglist and you don't see your username, tumblr wouldn't let me tag you for some reason :(
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cheeseceli · 7 months
Text
When you have plushies
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reactions
Request: so if skz had a partner who sleeps / collects plushies??? maybe also add a little where the reader is a tad bit embarrassed of it?
Warnings: none
A/n: if you saw this when I posted it for the first time no you didn't!
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Bang Chan
Y'KNOW THAT LAUGH OF HIS
The one that's so adorable and it looks like a giggle while his eyes are like crescent moons
THAT ONE
It's the one he gives you while he tries to understand that somehow he is dating the most adorable human being in the whole world
He literally has no problem if you want to sleep with them, will reassure you when it comes to that
"Do you think I can take one of your plushies with me for the tour? It'd make me feel closer to you"
Lee Know
Of course he will tease you
That's like one of the things that are included in his boyfriend package: relentless teasing
He will stop immediately if he sees that you aren't feeling it though
Will take a picture of you cuddling your favourite teddy bear and set it as his phone's wallpaper
AND will buy you some plushies and put them in his dorm
So you can feel more comfortable even when you're away from your own collection
Will never admit but he cuddles with it when he misses you
"Dori was sleeping with the plushie I bought for you. I'm going to send you a pic"
Changbin
Now that he knows, there is nothing stopping him from buying you thousands of plushies
Your collection will double in less than a month if you let him (please let him)
Might even buy some matching ones so you guys can share something in common
But he'll feel a little betrayed if you don't cuddle him to sleep and instead hug the teddy bear
"Why are you cuddling a plushie when you have me right here?? Like, c'mon now!!"
Hyunjin
You know those things where you can make a teddy bear from scratch and then gift it to someone?
He would do that for you😭
Would probably gift you a personalised plushie in your first valentine's
But overall he finds it adorable
Laughs endearingly every time he sees you sleeping while cuddling one
But will not lose the opportunity to replace the plushie and hug you throughout the night
"Would you rather have a dog or a bear as a plushie? No specific reason"
Han
Wants to give names to some of them lmao
And finds you 200% cuter because of it
Like, he knew you were adorable but you always surpass his expectations somehow
And if you get embarrassed abou it he finds you even cuter
But will make sure you don't have a reason to be embarrassed
He will throw himself in the pile of plushies, feeling like he's in heaven and making sure you knows he likes this side of you as well
"This one looks just like you! Oh my God, it's literally you"
Felix
HE LOVES IT
And he would be so casual about it as well??
Like, you'd be kinda scared of his reaction but then he's just the kindest about this
Wants to know about their names and stories you might have about them
The kind of guy who'd stitch one of them if they need to get repaired (I love him btw)
Tries to win plushies for you in those claw machines
"Which one do you want? I'll win it for you"
Seungmin
Is kinda intimidated at first lmao
Like I can see him just standing still while an army of plushies stare at his soul 😭
After the initial shock though I think he'd find it cute
Especially if there is a plushie who kinda looks like him/his skzoo
If that's the case he'll just tease you (while finding it so endearing)
"You should name this one 'Minnie'"
"I'm not naming every single one of my plushies after you"
"Why not?"
I.N
I think he wouldn't react at first, but mostly because he doesn't know what to do
Will you get sad if he teases you? Will you get embarrassed if he says it's cute?
He ends up not saying anything lol
Acts like he sees a huge collection of plushies every day
Might give you some plushies as gifts after finding out
"I just bought a very cute teddy bear in Japan. I'm giving it to you once I come back home."
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Dividers by @cafekitsune
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!
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swampthingking · 6 months
Text
can’t study for my test because i’m having brain rot about neil accidentally getting super drunk and stumbling up to aaron like “andrew???” and aaron is like “wrong one” and neil is like “andrew.” and aaron is like “???? are you stupid” and neil goes to look for andrew but he stumbles into the table, and aaron has to catch him or he will get trampled for fucks sake, and neil just collapses into him in a drunk cuddly heap. and aaron is like “neil. you need to stand up” and neil is like “i am” and aaron is like “that’s because i’m holding you up” and they get neil to stand but neil kinda just flops into aaron’s arms again. and neil is like “i don’t hate you, i don’t, but it’s okay if you hate me” and aaron is like “ugh, ew are you really an emotional drunk???” and neil, to aaron’s horror, looks at him with tears in his eyes because you know when you’re too drunk and you kind of just get a little scared and you need help???? ya. and aaron is like … ok. and kinda holds neil until andrew comes back from the bar with more drinks. and he sees neil basically asleep on aaron’s shoulder, and aaron looking uncomfortable but accepting, so he kinda raises an eyebrow, an okay? and aaron nods and is just patting neil on his back
and tomorrow they’ll wake up and neil will toddle downstairs with his hand against his temple and aaron will have advil ready for him, and he’ll say “you’re annoying and you don’t know when to shut your mouth or mind your own business, but i don’t hate you” and the thank you for helping repair my relationship with my brother and thank you for testifying and thank you for staying goes unsaid but yeah
and that’s how aaron and neil became kind of friends
edit: vomited out a one shot for y’all (this will prob become a 5+1)
Aaron swirled his drink a few times, listening to the ice clacking against the glass.
Eden’s was packed tonight, courtesy of it being the end of the school year. College students and the regular patrons flocked to the bar, the dance floor, and all of the tables, leaving Aaron to reserve a high-top table, and his legs to dangle from the stool.
“Drew?”
Aaron ignored him in favor of the twinkling sound the ice makes in his glass. He’d already taken shots, danced, had another drink, danced again, and now Aaron’s body was heavy with alcohol and exhaustion.
“Drew,” Neil said again.
Aaron looked around their table and didn’t see Andrew. He remembered Andrew getting up and walking to the bar with their empty tray. Aaron found him a few seconds later, hands in his pockets at the bar. That and Neil, staring up at him, looking uneasy.
Before Aaron could tell Neil to get out of his face, Neil was speaking.
“Are you’nt having fun?” Neil frowned, blinking sleepy, hooded eyes at him. He leaned closer to study Aaron’s face.
“What are you doing?” Aaron grumbled, pushing Neil’s face away.
Aaron hadn’t even pushed him hard, he more removed Neil from his space rather than pushed him, but Neil wobbled like his world had tilted out of orbit. Aaron realized, quickly, that Neil was going to fall backwards. He grabbed two fistfuls of Neil’s shirt and pulled him forwards. Neil’s head lulled on his shoulders with the force, his chin hitting his chest then righting itself.
Aaron’s stomach lurched, sick with the thought that someone had put something in one of Neil’s drinks, as he would for anyone, but thankfully he’s never been put in that situation. Neil’s eyes were hooded, his face flushed. Aaron snapped once at Neil’s ear, and Neil recoiled immediately.
“Does your head hurt or anything?” Aaron asked. Neil shook his head, frowning.
“Are you dizzy? Follow my finger.” Aaron pushes Neil back so he can see his face, keeping one hand on Neil’s shoulder to hold him up. Neil follows Aaron’s finger as it moves back and forth, albeit a little labored, but not as if he’d been roofied. Aaron declares that Neil’s reaction times and responses are fine, but he still pulls the front of his shirt up and checks his belt, the button of his pants.
“What—?” Neil slapped a hand on his abdomen, stopping his shirt from being lifted any higher. Aaron didn’t need to see anything but his pants, but it was reassuring that Neil still had inhibitions.
His clothes were fine. His belt was still done, zipper up. No one had tried anything. Aaron relaxed.
“Sorry,” Aaron said. “Sorry, I just needed to…”
While racking his mind back to why Neil is this drunk, Aaron remembered Neil taking shots with Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin. Four shots. He’d seen Neil sip on another drink like the idiot had the tolerance for alcohol that the rest of them had.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Aaron said and released Neil. Neil attempted to step back, his hands raised in surrender.
“No?” Neil asked warily. Even drunk as fuck, he still respected boundaries. Andrew’s boundaries specifically, as it still hadn’t registered that he wasn’t talking to the right twin.
“I’m not Andrew,” Aaron said.
“Where’s Andrew?” Neil asked, turning his head pathetically in search. Aaron only had a good view of Andrew because they were seated at a high-top. Over the throng of taller people coupled with strobing lights, Neil’s view was obstructed.
“At the bar,” Aaron nodded in that direction.
Neil turned towards the bar. Well, he attempted to. He pivoted, lost his balance, and toppled into the table. He tried to right himself and started to fall to the other side. Aaron caught Neil before he could bust his shit and get trampled.
“Jesus Christ, Josten,” Aaron spat, righting Neil with hands on his biceps. Neil slapped a hand on the table and leaned his weight on it. The table quaked under such abuse, but held.
Neil turned slowly, grappling against the table as if he was standing in one of those spinning fair rides. In his excursion to simply spin 180°, his hand slipped off the edge of the table as he faced Aaron once again. He reached for the table, missed, reached for it again, missed, said, “Motherfucker,” under his breath, and finally gripped onto the edge. His eyes locked on Aaron’s again, and Neil’s useless hand landed on Aaron’s shoulder.
“Andrew,” Neil said. Aaron didn’t know if it was more a request or if it was just not registering.
“Wrong,” Aaron said, tense under Neil’s hand, but he didn’t push him off. He’d rather hold Neil up than peel him off the floor. “Aaron.”
“‘m very drunk,” Neil said, looking up pleadingly at Aaron as if he had a magical cure to shitfacedness, and all Neil had to do for it was look a little scared. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Aaron asked.
“I’m drunk.”
Aaron snorted. “That’s kind of the point when you’re at a bar.”
“But,” Neil said, taking a labored breath, “I’m…too drunk.”
This was beginning to feel exceedingly similar to speaking to a child. Aaron was annoyed, but not completely heartless, unlike the narrative of Aaron Neil had likely concocted. “It’s okay, Neil,” Aaron said. “You should sit down.”
Neil promptly sat as if there was a chair under him, but there was not. Aaron, still holding Neil vertical, got pulled out of his chair with the momentum. To avoid toppling to the ground—which did not get mopped as often as it should—Aaron planted his feet on the floor and hauled Neil up by his armpits.
“Help,” Neil murmured. His arms dropped to his sides as he yielded his dead weight to Aaron.
“Stand up,” Aaron grunted, readjusting to wrap an arm around Neil’s back. One of Neil’s arms flopped over Aaron’s shoulder.
“I am,” Neil complained.
“No, you are not.”
“I am.”
“Neil,” Aaron said through clenched teeth, “I am holding you up. You need to lock your knees.”
“Oh,” Neil said. He looked at his feet as if he needed to check they were on the ground.
To be fair, Neil did lock his knees, but he also leaned all of his upper body on Aaron, arms still hanging limply at his sides. He tucked his head into Aaron’s neck with, what seemed, every intention to make a home there for the night.
“Neil,” Aaron said, frozen against the hair tickling his cheek. “God dammit.”
“And…ron,” Neil spoke against his shoulder.
“Yes,” Aaron said sarcastically. “That’s me.”
“Can I j’stay here?” Neil slurred.
From what Aaron had seen of Neil’s dynamic with his brother, he knew Neil would get off if he said no. He could place Neil into a stool or pull up a chair with a back so he wouldn’t fall out and concuss himself. He could shove Neil off and make him fend for himself. He could pawn him off to Andrew.
At the moment, those other options seemed like far too much work.
That, or maybe it was the med student in him, the intrinsic urge to heal and help and nurture that smarted at the thought of pushing Neil off.
Aaron didn’t push him off when Neil readjusted and tucked an arm into his chest, the other gripping Aaron for stability. He didn’t when Neil asked again, a quiet, “Aaron.”
“Okay,” Aaron conceded. He rubbed a hand up and down Neil’s back placatingly, but also because Neil seemed like he needed it. And he came to Aaron for it. Well, he came to Andrew and got Aaron. But he didn’t push Aaron off, and Aaron hasn’t done the same.
And they just…stood like that. For what seemed like a long time, but it probably was only a few minutes before Neil spoke again.
“Aaron,” Neil said.
Aaron hummed in response.
“I don’ hate you.”
“What?” Aaron asked. “What the fuck are you talking about, Neil?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“What?” Aaron said again.
“I don’wanna fight.” Neil lets out a colossal breath.
“We haven’t fought in a long time,” Aaron says, his idea of agreement. Acceptance.
Neil was quiet, because it was true. Neil seemed content to lay in Aaron’s arms, and Aaron didn’t have another stool next to him. He sure as shit wasn’t giving his up for Neil, but Neil was genuinely so unsteady on his feet that Aaron couldn’t let him go.
He trembled a bit, and Aaron was almost amused that after everything Neil had been through, being a little too drunk is what finally did it for him.
But Aaron had felt that way before. Inebriated and scared in a crowded room of strangers. Neil, however, has people he knows. How can Aaron be upset at Neil for wanting the comfort that he also craved? How can he be upset that Neil feels safe enough with Andrew to ask for help? That his brother finally feels safe with someone too?
“Aaron,” Neil said.
“What,” Aaron said.
“It’s okay if you hate me.”
“Oh God,” Aaron groaned, “Ew. Are you really an emotional drunk?”
Neil pulled back and, to Aaron’s horror, there were actual tears in his eyes. His lip trembled as he bit it, holding the tears in. Aaron hated how much of himself he was seeing in Neil tonight. The harrowing fact that maybe they are quite similar.
“Oh God,” Aaron said again, mortified. He grabbed the back of Neil’s head and shoved it back into his shoulder, effectively hiding Neil’s teary face.
He cast a desperate look to Andrew, who was finally on his way back to the table. He patted Neil on the shoulder, like one would burp a baby when they have no idea how to do so.
“Andrew.”
Andrew didn’t need prompting to look. His eyes were trained on Neil and Aaron from the moment he turned around. By the nonchalance of his movements and his lack of alarm, Aaron guessed he had been watching their interaction.
Andrew set the tray down on the table and cast a significant look between them, settling on Neil’s intoxicated form keeled over on Aaron’s shoulder.
Andrew raises one eyebrow, a silent question, an okay?
Aaron finds himself nodding, and unsure why. All he knows right now, a few drinks in, is that he doesn’t hate this. And he doesn’t hate that Neil doesn’t hate him.
-
The smell of coffee set Neil’s feet moving like a Pavlovian response. He was half awake already with a pounding headache, like his eyeballs were beating his closed lids to death.
Neil toddles down the stairs with his eyes closed, a hand pressed hard to his temple, stabilizing his brain.
Aaron was standing at the counter already, facing the sputtering coffee pot. His arms were crossed, hair ruffled from sleep. At the sound of footsteps behind him, he turned.
The memories from last night played past Neil’s mind like a sped-up movie. He grimaced in embarrassment, and felt a little sick at how drunk he was. How stupid he was, to drink that much. He should have known his tolerance isn’t matched with the rest of them. He could have gotten hurt, could have said something—
Fuck.
“Fuck,” Neil said, covering his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Aaron said. He turned back to the coffee, though his posture was rigid.
Neil grabbed a glass of water. He noticed Aaron watching from the corner of his eye, but Neil chose to ignore him, figuring that’s best. He sat on the counter with his water, sipping it slowly while he and Aaron waited for the coffee to finish brewing.
The silence was thick, but they were both too stubborn to leave the kitchen. Usually, they preferred to wait and pretend the other wasn’t there.
That’s what Neil thought, at least. After a painful few minutes, Aaron huffed and grabbed the bottle of Advil from the drawer next to the sink. He shook two pills out and sat them next to Neil.
Neil stared at them until Aaron cast a pointed look at the pills, then physically gestured to them with raised brows. Neil took them while Aaron watched.
The coffee pot beeped. Aaron made a split second decision, grabbing two mugs and pouring coffee into them. He slid Neil’s across the counter. It sloshed over the side, but Aaron wasn’t capable of caring at the moment. His mind was busy, and he knew Neil had noticed his lack of eye contact; the analytical fuck.
“Look,” Aaron said. He did not look at Neil to say it. “You’re annoying, and you never know when to shut your mouth or mind your business. Most of the time, I’m convinced you have a death wish, and a lot of the time I find myself resenting you. You complicated our lives, put us all in danger, didn’t give a shit.”
Neil’s chest hurt. He didn’t know if it was anger or guilt. Aaron started talking again before he could figure it out.
“But I don’t hate you. I can’t, really. I can’t even fault you for the shitty things you did, because it all worked out.” Aaron glanced quickly at Neil, looked away. His cheeks were red.
The thank you for helping repair my relationship with my brother and thank you for testifying and thank you for being good to Andrew went unsaid, but Aaron hoped Neil wasn’t obtuse enough to force him to say it out loud.
Neil must have understood, because he nodded. Aaron figured that was as close to a reconciliation they were going to have, so he leaned against the counter and pretended everything was normal.
For the first time, they drank their coffee in silence without animosity orchestrating it.
Neil’s mug was half empty when Andrew joined them. He paused in the doorway, squinty eyed and mussed, looking between the two. Neil on the counter, Aaron leaning against it. Their silence, but lack of tension.
“This is weird,” Andrew finally said, his voice gravely from sleep.
“Yeah,” Neil and Aaron said simultaneously.
Neil glanced over his mug at Aaron, the corner of his mouth twitching. Aaron regarded it, but looked away, because something like contentment had made its way onto Andrew’s face.
Aaron smiled at that instead.
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y2kuromi · 23 days
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⭑ : 呪術廻戦 ❛ 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗕𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 : satoru gojo x fem! reader
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synopsis. there’s nothing casual about your relationship with satoru
contents. as sfw as this trope gets. fluff. angst if you squint. no est rel because fwb ⇢ mutual pining & miscommunication. college au. profanities. kissing eugh. i love this song sm ‹𝟹
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satoru can tell something’s up from the moment you pull away from him. one second you’re kissing him like you need to feel him to live and the next you’re backpedaling, eyes shining with something akin to fear.
“‘s something wrong?” he asks, blue eyes flooded with concern. his thumb brushes gently against your bottom lip and he’s surprised to find it’s quivering.
he feels something stirring in his chest, love. he loves you. at first it was just excitement to hook up casually with someone who understood him on a fundamental level, but it quickly became a sharp pang of longing. it quickly became love
he didn’t have much to base the feeling off of. he just knew he felt like he was doing something right when you smiled at him and he felt like he was on top of the world when you kissed him. he’d initially been petrified because he didn’t do feelings. he never had.
he was used to random girls fawning over him, used to them begging desperately for his phone number. used to leading them on for weeks before ghosting them. used to one-night stands remaining one-night stands.
but he wasn’t used to this. feelings. he simply didn’t do them. yet he couldn’t help but care about you. and the fact that you were right here in-front of him with tears brimming your waterline
you shook your head fervently. “no . . sorry, i just needed a second” satoru knows you’re lying. he knows you by heart.
he knows you squint when you’re struggling to read something. he knows you drum your fingers when you’re bored. he knows you hate drinking matcha made with old leaves. he knows your nose crinkles when you laugh. he knows your lips taste like sugar and your breath hitches when he kisses you like you’re the only thing he knows. and he knows so, so much more
but he doesn’t know why you’re lying to him. why you’re so quick to slip from his embrace, why you don’t let him hold your hand in the hallways or why you shrink away from him as if he’s capable of breaking you beyond repair.
(he doesn’t know what’s so bad about being with him wholly)
‘no strings attached’ you’d said, repeating the words over and over like a mantra. bullshit. you’d lost faith in their power the more you uttered them. and your beliefs succumbed to falsehood.
‘no strings attached’ he’d agreed, and it had been easy enough at first. he’d tried not to let his heart drop too much when you kissed him. he’d tried to keep the compliments to a minimum. he’d tried his best, and he’d failed miserably
why did he have to fall in love with the one person that didn’t seem to want him?
“you sure?” he pushes, “something’s clearly on your mind, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to”
( it’s always been more about you than him.)
“i want to, i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t. i just . . .” you trailed off. you couldn’t find the words to tell him that this wasn’t casual anymore. that shoko had been right when she'd said you couldn't be casual with someone you cared immensely about.
“hmm?” he drank you in, slow and deliberate. you weren’t scared. you were nervous. he chuckled lowly, amusement reverberating in his chest. “c’mon we’re friends aren’t we? you can tell me anything”
friends. you weren’t sure you were still on the same page about what that meant. friends didn’t know each other the way you did. friends didn’t kiss like they needed each other to breathe. you weren’t sure what you two were but you weren’t just friends.
not quite friends, not quite lovers . . simply something good. satoru made you feel good. he made you feel loved. more so than your exes had.
his eyes trailed leisurely over your figure as he bounced his knee absentmindedly to regain your attention. you parted your lips, but the only sound filling the space between you was his unfaltering laughter
it was too hard to speak with the intensity of his blue eyes burning into your head. your mind was undeniably foggy and your sentences were barely comprehensible. his laughter wasn’t making things any easier.
“stop laughing” you whined, burying your face in your palms.
you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his hands traced circles on your hips “i’m trying to talk to you”
“and i’m listening” he laughed, motioning for you to go on. you shifted cautiously in his lap. keeping things casual had been your idea entirely. on paper, hooking up with your best friend after a breakup was a bad idea. a terrible one even.
satoru just happened to have been in the right place at the right time. he just happened to be there when you needed someone to make you feel good. and he didn’t leave
it was easy to do the heart breaking,the ghosting. he’d done it over and over again and he’d walk away unscathed. he could do it in his sleep, in a heartbeat
but he never did. because you were his best friend first, and the benefits didn’t even come second. they were merely an afterthought. because he couldn’t fathom the idea of treating you as if you were just a casual fling, of acting like he didn’t care about you
you’d implored him to, and he had to the best of his abilities but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you.
“i’ve been thinking about something recently” you murmured, finally making eye contact with him. his eyes are sparkling and you’re sure he’s making fun of you
“yeah, what’s that?” you stare at him for a moment. taking in his messy hair and freshly kissed lips. you wonder if his lips have kissed anyone else’s like they have yours. the thought upsets you more than it should
“how i feel about this. about you” your throat feels dry as the words fall from your lips. “i don’t feel the same way anymore”
fucking finally.
he’s quiet. blinking once, then twice before cracking a lazy grin. you groan inwardly, already regretting treading this path. telling him your feelings ran deeper than casual intimacy, was like handing your heart to a god on a golden platter
“oh? have you finally fallen in love with me?” he teases, poking your ribs and making you scowl, “took you long enough”
“you . .you’re insufferable. you know that?” you deadpan, pinching your nose bridge with faux irritation.
“that doesn’t answer my question” he persists,his eyes are unreadable as they search your expression. he tries to find a crack in your composure, hopeful to see how you truly feel about him. hopeful to see if this feeling went both ways
he was sure he would be forever altered if it didn’t , he was sure he’d never be the same if the feeling wasn’t mutual
“what answer do you want?” you fired back, feeling small under his scrutiny. “do you want me to say i’m head over heels in love with you like everyone else to feed your ego?”
“no! fuck no” he sighs, running a hand nervously through his ivory curls. “that’s not what i want at all”
he knew you didn’t think you two could work. you were too scared to try. and he was too scared of losing you completely to do anything about his crippling feelings for you. you didn’t really want him. he knew that, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
“what do you want then?” you can feel frustration seeping into your voice. you were confused, so confused. because you had no solid ground rules
just ‘no strings attached’. it was vague, too hazy. and you’d never really understood what it really meant.
“you,” he shrugs nonchalantly as if it’s the most salient thing in the world. as if his heart isn’t hammering obnoxiously in his chest “thought that much was obvious”
and it all makes sense — his lack of commitment towards other girls. shoko being adamant that you couldn’t possibly keep feelings out of this arrangement. how hard he’d chased you. how gentle he was with you. how much he cared
it had always been because of you. it would always be because of you.
“i know . .” he says quietly, testing the waters, “i know you don’t want to make something out of this and i respect that but that’s not what i want”
“we won’t work” you say feebly, you’re not sure the words convince even you. and they only twist the knife deeper. his eyes are glossy, treading over the edge of disbelief.
you’ve never seen him this vulnerable, an absolute shell of the confident boy worshiped on campus. his lips wobbled faintly and you could almost hear his heart cracking in chest
“you don’t know that, you can’t say that when we haven’t even tried.” he’s beyond desperate, grabbing your hand and brushing his thumb across your knuckles as if they’re capable of granting wishes
“i want to try” your voice is timorous, “i really do, but i don’t want to be just another girl to you. i don’t want to lose you”
satoru laughs again, but there’s no humor tinging the sound. just immeasurable sadness “you’re never going to lose me” it was irrational for you to think that, if anything he was the one at risk of losing you, of losing everything
and he couldn’t shake the feeling he already had
( he’d thrown away his pride, ego, and dignity, as if they were nothing all so he could comprehend the depths of his feelings for you. all so you could look past gojo, and see satoru
all so you could love him )
“you sure?” you asked tentatively. he was known for his empty promises. for breaking hearts and leaving with situations with only his intact. but he loved you.
that had to count for something. that had to count for everything
“‘m positive” satoru nodded, “i’ve never been more sure about anything in my life”
“okay” the smile that finally tugs at the corners of your lips is sweet, undeniably so. like wisps of cotton candy and ambrosia. so sweet, you leave him insatiable
your hands are gentle as they smooth over his shoulders before looping around his neck. his nose brushes against yours softly and you’re close enough to bask in the scent of cool mint lingering on his breath.
you’re anything but patient having wasted so much time on second guessing. you craved closing the painful distance and pressing his lips to yours. but satoru craved commitment and communication a lot more
“can i take you on a date?” all you can muster is a nod as his bottom lip grazes yours and your fingers card through his ivory curls. it’s a start, it’s not much, but it’s more than enough for him
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© Y2KUROMI 2024. please do not plagiarise, repost, or translate any of my works on here or any other websites.
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
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ow
for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'ow'
rated t | 926 words | cw: injury, hospitals | tags: established relationship, steddie, famous corroded coffin
🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕
Steve woke up to his phone ringing. He wouldn’t normally be too concerned about that happening, especially when it was barely eleven at night and Eddie was known to call when he got offstage for the night, but the ringtone wasn’t Eddie’s.
“Gareth?” Steve answered, heart already racing from the adrenaline of being woken up so quickly.
“Eddie fell!” Gareth’s voice was panicked as he spoke.
“Fell? Where? Is he okay?” Steve started to rush out of bed, mentally calculating what he would need to shove into a carry on bag to get to wherever Eddie was.
Dallas? Las Vegas? He forgot.
“Off the stage. He’s in the ambulance and we’re on our way to the hospital now. He was awake and yelling at us to call you when he left,” Jeff answered. Apparently Gareth had him on speakerphone. “I don’t think he hit his head, but he said his leg and hip hurt. Could have broken something.”
“Shit. Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Steve threw his backpack on the bed, shoving his phone charger in first. “Send me the hospital info so I can try to call.”
“No, no. He said to tell you not to rush here.”
“His exact words were ‘’Tis but a scratch.’” Frankie said through the phone. “Which is code for he’s being very brave.”
“Exactly. I’ll be on the next flight to-“ Steve leaned over to check his printed out schedule of the tour. “Kansas City.”
“See you soon.”
****
When Steve arrived at the hospital, the entire crew filled the waiting room. A nurse was standing at the reception desk talking to Gareth, Jeff, and Frankie.
Steve rushed over to them.
“How is he?”
“They won’t let any of us see him. He’s been in recovery for two hours now.” Frankie said over his shoulder as he glared at nurse.
“Apparently Eddie doesn’t want to see anyone.” Jeff said as he turned to Steve. “Not until he saw you.”
“Okay, so let me see him.” Steve adjusted his backpack over his shoulder.
“He’s asleep. Nurse said he finally passed out about 15 minutes ago and he needs rest,” Gareth shook his head. “Dramatic bitch.”
“Wait. Recovery?” Steve shook his head. He needed to focus, figure out what was going on exactly. “He had surgery?”
“They had to repair his knee that he shattered. Idiot.” Frankie said before walking towards the crew.
“He’s just mad it took so long to find out anything. He was worried,” Jeff explained. “Glad you’re here now, man. Flight okay?”
“Got stuck in the middle seat between a business man who spent the entire flight calling his wife a bitch and a woman who spent the entire flight crying about leaving her boyfriend. Also anxious as hell. Pretty sure my leg is still numb from not sitting still.” Steve sighed. “Any way I can just go sit in his room?” He asked the nurse.
“Will everyone leave if I let you?” She asked in return.
“I’ll clear ‘em out.” Jeff promised as he patted Steve’s shoulder.
Gareth gave him a quick side hug before following Jeff to the crowded room.
The nurse still didn’t seem pleased, but she must’ve sensed that Steve would put up a hell of a fight. She nodded her head for him to follow her through the double doors to the elevators.
“Room 3186 is where he’ll be for the next 24-48 hours. Then he’ll either get released or moved to the inpatient physical therapy hall,” she explained as they rode up to the third floor. “That’s usually reserved for particularly slow healers and older people, so hopefully he’ll be able to do outpatient PT.”
“How long before he can go on stage?” Steve asked, already scared of the answer.
“I guess it depends on if he plans on falling off another one.”
Any other time, Steve probably would’ve laughed, but right now, he was full of too much anxiety.
“I doubt he planned on falling off of this one,” Steve snapped back.
She apologized when they got to Eddie’s room. “It’s just been rough dealing with that crowd.”
“Well, he’s got a lot of people who care about him.”
She gave him a small smile before leaving him to go into the room on his own.
Eddie was asleep, but Steve could tell it wasn’t a deep sleep. They must not be giving him strong medication.
Steve set his backpack down by the chair and sat down as quietly as possible.
When he looked over to Eddie, his eyes were open and his lips were turned down in a frown. “Ow.”
“Want me to call a nurse?” Steve leaned closer to the bed, worry creasing his brow.
“I broke my knee.”
“I know, baby.”
“Floor got me.”
“Yeah, it did,” Steve barely managed to hold back a laugh as Eddie sighed. “You wanna hold my hand?”
“Always.”
Steve watched as Eddie drifted back to sleep, his hand loose in his grasp.
He sent a text to Gareth to let him know he was with him and he was sleeping somewhat peacefully. He made sure to tell him they could all head back to the buses and vans if they hadn’t already.
Eddie got released two days later with a very intense PT schedule and a restriction on playing on stage standing up for four weeks.
When he got the cast and bandages off, his first stop was a tattoo parlor, where he got the word ‘ow’ tattooed over his kneecap, just above the scar from his surgery.
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woso-dreamzzz · 6 months
Text
Injured IX
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Things get worse before they can get better
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Two days after you and Jaume are admitted into hospital, several different things happen.
One: Jenni's manager calls and tells her that she can only take a maximum of two more weeks leave and that she needs to return to Mexico within the month.
Two: Jaume gets much better, very quickly. He's practically good as new and he's allowed out of his room for short periods of time.
Three: The pottery place lets Alexia know that her mug and your train are ready so she goes to pick them up.
Four: She comes back with your ceramic train and drops it on the floor in horror when she sees you being intubated.
'She took a turn for the worse' they tell her. 'We've upped her medication and she should be fine in a few days', they say but all Alexia can think about is the shattered train on the floor and how tiny you look in your bed.
You're moved to the ICU and remain motionless and asleep for days on end. Therein lies the second problem.
The ICU nurses are stricter than the nurses in the peds wing. They say only the legal guardians can go into your room.
You have no father. You had no other mother either, not legally anyway.
You have just Alexia. Just Alexia who can sign off on treatment plans. Just Alexia who can sign you out and be given updates about your condition.
Just Alexia who can go and sit by your bedside and sob.
It was supposed to be a good day. Jaume was better. You were going to get your train.
It's all ruined now and all Alexia can do is sob.
Jenni sobs too.
She can't see you. She can't even enter the ICU. She can do nothing but loiter in the waiting room.
She had nowhere else to go.
Eli and Alba can go and see Jaume but Jenni has nothing to do with Jaume. She just has you.
You who is intubated and asleep in the ICU. You who she had pinned down and so cruelly not explained anything to. You who was still so small and scared and stuck in hospital while Jenni would have to return to Mexico very, very soon.
"How is she?"
Jenni's ex looks away. Alexia looks exhausted, worse than Jenni's ever seen her before. There are bags under her eyes. Her hair looks unbrushed. Her clothes are crumpled.
"The doctors are optimistic," Is Alexia's answer," They think she's fighting really well. They..." Alexia's throat bobs. "They think she'll be strong enough to come off it in a day or two."
"And she can have visitors again?"
"Maybe not as quickly," Alexia explains," I think we should be conservative. Maybe not even until she's fully healthy again. I think-"
"Alexia, I have to leave soon."
Alexia breaks off. "What?"
"Back to Mexico. I've delayed it as long as I can. By the end of the month, I need to be gone again."
"What are you talking about?" Alexia still can't wrap her mind around it. "Back to Mexico? Bambi's still sick."
"I know!" Jenni snaps. "I know, Alexia. And you need to make a decision."
"A decision? Jenni, what are you talking about?"
"You need to put someone else on her papers. You've seen those doctors. We don't get told anything. It's dangerous."
"Jenni-"
"What if Bambi breaks her arm? Me or Olga bring her to hospital and they can't do anything because we're not legal guardians. What would have happened if they couldn't get a hold of you after they intubated her? They can't change treatment plans without parental consent."
"I-"
Jenni sighs, long and drawn out. "I know you have a lot on your plate, Alexia. I know, I do but this is about Bambi and what she deserves and she deserves two people on that birth certificate."
Jenni doesn't say what she wants to say. She doesn't say that she desperately wants you as her own. She doesn't say that she thinks in the deepest, most malicious part of her brain that Alexia has already ruined whatever relationship you had beyond repair. She doesn't say that she thinks a new start in Mexico would be best for you.
She doesn't say that she's already looked at a ballet academy near her apartment and that her club has some of the best childcare options she's seen in a long time.
Jenni doesn't say anything more.
She just turns on her heel and walks out.
Out of Alexia's company, out of the waiting room, out of the hospital.
She doesn't say anything until she's in her car and sobbing into her steering wheel.
Her words float through Alexia's brain even as she sits in Jaume's room with him.
He looks much better than before. The rash is gone. He's moving around again.
The only evidence that he was ever sick at all is the IV still attached to his hand, feeding antibiotics into his body to make sure it's fully gone.
"Something funny, little man?" Alexia coos as he giggles uncontrollably," What so funny, huh? What so funny?" She bounces him gently at each word and Jaume giggles even more.
"The little man's happy he's getting out of here in a few days," Olga says, hooking her chin over Alexia's shoulder," Isn't that right, Jaume? Is that why you're so giggly today?"
Jaume giggle in answer, kicking his feet out.
"Look at these kicks," Alexia coos," My little footballer, huh? Are you going to captain Spain? I think you are!"
"Your Mama and sister went home," Olga says," They'll be here early tomorrow, like always."
"Jenni went as well."
Olga goes to sit in the chair next to Alexia's, frowning. "That's unlike her. I swear, I thought she was going to sneak into the ICU yesterday."
"She told me that she needs to go back to Mexico soon," Alexia says," She's delaying it for as long as possible."
"All for our Bambi?" Olga hums," She really loves her."
"Yeah," Alexia says," She does."
Alexia is in awe of Jenni sometimes. Jenni has always loved you, Alexia thinks. Jenni's always been a part of your life even when Alexia didn't have the energy to care for herself. Jenni had always been there.
Alexia doesn't think she'll ever understand just how much Jenni adores you. You make the planets spin for Jenni. You hang the stars and the moon and sometimes, like now, Alexia wonders if she'll ever be able to live up to that.
If she'll ever be able to give you the life you deserve.
She doesn't want to give you up. Selfishly, she wants a life where she can hold both you and Jaume in bed with her. She wants a life where she can go to Jaume's football matches and your ballet recitals. She wants a life where she can win a Champion's League and see you running onto the pitch to celebrate with her.
But she doesn't know if that's the life you want.
She doesn't know if that's the life you deserve, constantly being shepherded from one thing to another, constantly living in fear that you'll be left behind again.
Alexia knows a life with Jenni, where you're the centre of her world, would be good for you too. But, still, Alexia can't help but let her heart flutter at hearing Olga call you 'our Bambi'.
'Our Bambi'.
Hers and Alexia's.
If you went with Jenni then you would be just Jenni's, no matter if Alexia kept her name on your birth certificate. You would be half a world away. She would see you when Jenni returned for international duty. She would see you a few weeks every year and Alexia doesn't know how she could cope with that.
Alexia doesn't know how she would explain to Jaume about the sister he never sees.
Alexia is your mother and she needs to do what is best for you, despite how selfish she wants to be.
She needs to decide if she can still give you the best life possible or if letting Jenni raise you is truly what will give you the best chance possible.
"Ale?" Olga asks softly, shaking her," You're crying."
Alexia swipes the tears away. "I was just thinking about Bambi. I should probably get back to her. The doctors keep saying that she won't even notice but-"
"But you should still sit with her," Olga says," She deserves to have some company. Here." Olga reaches into her bag.
She pulls out your ceramic train, the one Alexia shattered on the floor after seeing you with a tube down your throat.
"It's still missing a few pieces," Olga explains," But I tried my best. I thought you could put it at her bedside."
Alexia takes it gently, cradling it in her hands. Olga's right. There's still little chips and Alexia can very clearly see where Olga has glued the broken pieces together.
It's still fractured and broken but it's perfect.
"I love you," Alexia chokes out," I love you."
"I love you too," Olga says," Just as I love our kids. Go, Ale. Sit with her. Me and the little man will be right here."
The sun glints on your ceramic train for nearly a week until you wake up.
The doctors keep you asleep until they're certain that the meningitis is gone.
Jaume gets to go home with Olga the day before you get woken up.
There's a crowd outside your room early the next day and Alexia is the only one allowed in.
"We've taken the tube out," The doctors explain," And she'll be coming out of the anaesthesia soon. She'll be a little disorientated and emotional but once she's up, give it an hour or two, we'll check her hearing and her strength and if it all goes well then she should be out of here by late afternoon."
"How likely is it that her hearing's being affected?"
"Meningitis is known to cause hearing loss but I'm optimistic. Despite what's happened, she's fought it every step of the way. There's a good chance she comes out of this without any lasting effects."
"And once she's up? I can let people in?"
The doctor glances over at the assembled crowd. "Only one or two in the room at a time. We don't want to overwhelm her."
"Thank you."
"I'll be back soon."
Alexia retakes her seat at your side, holding your hand gently in her own. Your little hands are perfect to hold in her own. You could probably hold just a finger and it would still be bigger than your whole hand.
"I love you," Alexia whispers as she presses a soft kiss to your forehead," I love you so, so much, Bambi. You're all better now. You just need to wake up."
You don't come to for another thirty minutes or so and, when you finally do, it's slowly.
"Mami," You say," My throat hurts."
Alexia can't help the worried laughter that bubbles out of her throat. It's half in relief and half in how disgruntled you look.
"Mami?"
"Here, Bambi," She says," Sit up. Let's have a little drink."
She holds the glass as you sip the water. You lean easily into the comfort Alexia's offering, your head resting on her shoulder
"Wha's goin' on, Mami?"
"You were sick," Alexia says," But you're better now and you get to leave if everything's okay."
Your brow wrinkles. "I..." Your eyes dart around and Alexia suddenly realises what the doctor meant by you being emotional. "I want Mama! Mama! Want-Want Mama!"
Tears spill down your cheeks and Alexia knows exactly who you want.
She shouldn't take it personally. She knows you're sad and overwhelmed and you're reaching out for comfort for the person that you can't see.
Alexia knows this is normal. She's been told this is normal and yet-
Alexia pushes away her feelings, tucking you into the blankets and pressing a kiss to your cheek that you clearly welcome. "I'll get you Jenni," She promises," Just give me a second."
She pokes her head out of the door.
"Jenni," Alexia says, voice emotionless," She needs you."
Jenni's looking more relieved than Alexia's ever seen her before as she rushes into the room.
"Mama," You say, brow wrinkled and looking up at her with wet, puppy dog eyes," You hurt me."
"I hurt you?" Jenni echoes as she takes Alexia's seat," When did I hurt you, Bambi?"
"When the bad man touched my back and you held my legs."
"I'm sorry, Bambi," Jenni says gently," That was wrong of me. I'm very, very sorry."
You're still confused. Your brain feels like it's full of cotton, all fuzzy and weird like that time the tv made that weird noise and went all staticky.
You lay back down. Your head bounces a little from the force you've thrown it back into your pillow with.
Everything's all jumbled and confused and you gently take Ma-Jenni's hand in your own. She's got big hands with fingers you can wrap your whole hand around and still have your hand be too small.
You know someone else like that, you think and your brain strains to think of who it is.
You get glimpses.
Big hands. A Barcelona kit. Gentle strokes down your back and kisses on your forehead when you're sad.
"Mami," You croak out even as Ma-Jenni climbs into bed with you and cradles you against her body.
Mami was with you earlier. You can remember that. You lift your head to see where she's gone but you can't see her anywhere.
"Mama," You say, tugging on Ma-Jenni's shirt as tears still drip down your cheeks," Mami's gone! Mami's gone again!"
You don't know that Alexia's crying too.
In the bathroom down the hall, staring at herself in the mirror and only seeing your own tearful face reflected back at her.
921 notes · View notes
divinesolas · 5 months
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Sneaking around | 2
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Summary: You had thought you finally managed to repair things between you and jacaerys but he seems to have begun avoiding you again and you begin to think the worst, as your wedding approaches you decide to confront him once more.
w.c: 1.9k
c.w: porn with (minor) plot, oral (m!receiving), p in v, jacaerys is a big idiot again, two idiots in love, misunderstandings, not proofread
a.n: part one for context ! hope you guys enjoy <3
dedicated to my lovelie mootie @aegonswife <3
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in the beginning you had though you were imagining things. maybe you were just so busy with wedding prep and were so busy and were just making it up. but after two weeks you had realized that it was true. jacaerys was once again dodging you at all costs.
it was not as drastic as it used to be but you can still tell. he says hello to you but quickly makes up some excuse to be excused, he will sit next to you during dinner but will engage in conversation with anyone but you. at first you didn't notice since you and your mother had begin to prepare for the wedding, it started to dawn on you when your mother expressed that she was meeting with jacaerys at a different time other than you for wedding prep.
“he does not wish to join us now?” she could hear the frustration in your voice and sighs rubbing her forehead, “he says it would be easier to meet apart as this is when he likes to train, i had told him we could move the time but-” “he does not wish to see me.” you look down at the ground in frustration and you hear your mother sigh as she walks closer to you and places her hands on your face gently lifting you up to look at her, “he is just scared my dear i know it, you should just ask him.” “but how am i to ask if he avoids me?”
“how did you get him to talk to you last time?”
it is once again dead in the night as you wrap yourself in a familiar cloak and quietly leave you room and head back down the familiar path to his room. you are not as scared as you had been last time. you don't march with a sense of desire in your steps, instead you are angry. you knock on his door harshly this time not caring for making too much noise.
the door opens to a shocked jacaerys who looks at you alarmed, “sister did you need something,,,” his words trail off as you push past him into his room and cross your arms staring daggers at him. “you are ignoring me.”
he pauses for a moment, fiddling around with the quill in his hand. despite your anger your eyes linger down to admire him and notice the spots of dark ink stained into the long flowy white shirt he was wearing. your eyes drift towards his desk where he must have been just sitting at littered with papers, some crumpled and some full but your eyes couldn't make out what they say. he clearly notices where you’re looking and swiftly moves to stand in front of the desk blocking the letters from your view. “i have been busy-” “but you do not wish to plan our wedding with me?” “that is when i train dear sister,” “ah yes mother mentioned that, and she also mentioned that she suggested to switch the meetings to a different time and you said no.” he looks down in defeat and you scoff at his lack of response.
“i had thought you were better than most men but it seems once you had me you want nothing to do with me.” you turn around and wrap your arms around yourself as you finally let your tears of frustration run down your face.
some beats of silence pass with the only sounds being your sniffling, for a moment you even fear he’s left the room but you soon feel his hands wrap around you and his head presses into your shoulder. “sorry is not enough, begging for your forgiveness is not enough it is all my fault, but you must understand there is no universe in which i want nothing to do with you my heart you mean more to me than anything.”
you press your head against his and you feel his arms grow tighter around you reveling in his touch. “i just wish to understand you.” he presses a kiss into your neck and sighs, “i have been nothing but a fool, out of my own tasteless fear i have once again drove an unnecessary wedge between you and i.” you manage to twist yourself in his grasp to look at him, “fear?” he hums cupping your face in his hands and presses his forehead against yours, “i feared that should i spend too much time with you, i would lose my self.” you pull away and give him a confused look, “whatever are you talking about?” a bright red flush covers his face as he turns away from you before he speaks, “i desire you far too greatly that i fear i cannot control myself around you.”
Ah.
An embarrassed heat flushes you as you take notice of him poking against you and you push your head into his neck, “Jace,,” “it is because i am so weak minded i cannot even act like a proper gentleman-” “Jace,,,” “i am sorry i should grovel at your feet and punish myself-” “jacaerys!” you pull away from him and shake his shoulders lightly and he looks at you alarmed. you have a smile on your face and let out a light laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation cupping his cheeks and pulling him close and give him a peck. “i am just happy my future husband desires me.”
The look in his eye completely changes when he hears you call him husband and his hands quickly move to the back of your head to bring you into a heated kiss. due to the very sudden action you gasp and he uses that opportunity to push his tongue in your move and pull you even closer to him. your hands grip the back of his head and tug on his hair to pull him away from you, his dark eyes stared at you laced with desire and need.
“Allow me to please you this time husband.” he groans as you drop down to your knees and begin to work through unlacing his pants, “you do not have to-” “i want to.” his pants hit the floor with a light thud and you grip him in your hands and press kisses up and down him. he throws his head back and lets out a strained moan as he grips your head. “my love,,” you lick and suck at his bright pink tip as he continues to wither above you. for a moment you think about the irony of it all, a future king, your future king, completely bewitched by you at your complete mercy, “please do not tease me my love.”
your inexperience shows its head as you try you best to put him all in your throat but are unable to left to simply stroke anything left. he definitely doesn’t mind as his knees almost buckle and the grip on your head grows tighter, he is a very vocal man endless praise falls easily from his lips occasionally getting chocked up by his own moans and groans. “i love you, how are you so good at this?” you let go of him with a pop and give him a smile, “i guess i just imagined this far too often as one would say.” he if realizes your mirroring his own words he does not say as much, well he doesn’t say much of anything completely lost in his own pleasure.
You too also get lost in your own pleasure. you can feel your own wetness soaking your thighs, if your hands were not stuck on him you would have brought them down to begin to play with yourself. He suddenly pulls you off him and drops to his knees, “did i do something wrong?” he quickly shakes his head and kisses you. “i simply have somewhere else i wish to spend my seed.”
he leans you on your back and hovers above you his hands eagerly pulling up your night gown leaving you exposed to him. “i would take my time with you my love but i fear i have lost all sense of control to you.” he rubs his dick against your folds soaking himself in your wetness and you push your head into his neck gripping his arms, “please please husband.”
He quickly pushes himself into you and groans in your ear, “gods you’re so amazing my love.” unlike the first time where he had started out rather slow he seems to be desperate today quickly rutting himself against you. You certainly have no reason to complain and let him have his way with you. it was odd to see the usually very composed prince seem to lose all sense of composure, acting not of a prince but like an animal, if anybody were to walk in on the two of you now it would certainly be a show.
“tell me you are close my love please.” you nod your head and he brings his hand down to play with your clit, “please please come my beautiful wife and i will spend myself in you please.” he quickly manages to bring you to your release, shaking and bringing your hands to his head and kissing him as he comes inside you.
the two of you stay still for awhile the only sounds in the room being your pants and his heaving. he slides out of you and you let out a hiss he follows with a quiet apology and lefts you up bridal style and carries you to the bed lightly placing you down before he moves to take the place next to you.
for awhile no words are exchanged between you, you lay your head on his chest playing with the fabric while you cannot seem to drop the smile from you face. he makes you so happy you can barely believe you had been mad at him in the first place. you look back at his desk and remember all the letters on it. “jacaerys?” he softly hums in acknowledgement, his hand lightly tracing your back. “what are those letters on your desk?” he freezes and brings his other hand up to his mouth to let out an embarrassed cough, you can feel the skin you’re laying on heat up. “they are vows i plan to make to you during our wedding, i am struggling a bit,,” he trails off embarrassed and you sit up to look at him, “vows?”
he scratches his neck as he gives you a strained smile, “i wish to express my love to you with words but i am struggling to put them on paper for i love you too greatly.” your heart swells and you lean down to give him a peck not pulling too far away from him before you speak. “i love it.” “you do not even know what it says.”
“i love anything you make, because i love you.”
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girlgenius1111 · 6 months
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all that i did to try to undo it
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engen!reader... platonic ingrid & reader + platonic mapi & reader
r lives with her sister, but their relationship is rather rocky. can they fix it before it's broken beyond repair? angst. pretty much just angst. r is not mentally well. proceed with caution.
–-----
Moving from Norway to Spain wasn’t your idea. It seemed that your parents had had quite enough of you. You knew you could have been better behaved, but you hadn’t realized they were so frustrated that they were willing to send you away. Not until it was too late. 
It was your friends, back in Norway, that were the issue. They were why you snuck out and drank and cut school and generally broke all the rules that had been set for you. And this was why, when you arrived in Spain, it all… stopped. Mostly because you barely spoke Spanish and had no friends. Also because Ingrid had adopted a rather tough love attitude with you. She was strict and cold and you knew that she wouldn’t tolerate any missteps. And honestly, you didn’t know where you’d go if Ingrid decided she didn’t want you around anymore. Not that you were sure she really did in the first place; you were pretty convinced that she was doing this as a favor to your parents. She didn’t want you here, and you weren’t going to push her to do something about that. 
Unbeknownst to you, Ingrid did want you there. It had been her idea for you to come to Spain in the first place. Your parents were at a loss with what to do with you, and Ingrid was tired of hearing how frustrated they were with you when she knew you were just trying to get their attention. She decided she could probably do a better job, simply by just paying attention. And so she did. She moved you in, she got on your ass about your responsibilities and your future, and you hadn’t yet put a toe out of line. Your sister was determined that you assimilate, thinking it would make it easier for you, so she only allowed you to speak Spanish in the home. She had Mapi read over your essays, and help with your grammar. She drove you to school everyday, and made you all eat dinner together as a family every night. It seemed to be working. You were quiet, but behaved. Ingrid was pretty convinced she’d done a good job, and solved the issue. You were a teen, and she figured you didn’t need her trying to hangout with you all the time. 
So, while Ingrid paid attention to your school, she didn’t pay much attention to you. She didn’t know you didn’t have any friends at your school, or that a lot of the kids were pretty cruel to you. She didn’t know school had turned into an entire nightmare, and that you had to push through an insane amount of anxiety just to walk through the front doors every morning. She didn’t know that you were behaving because you were scared of her kicking you out. She didn’t know you were desperately sad and homesick, not even allowed to speak your language in your own home with her. She didn’t know that all you wanted some days was for her to just pull you into a hug, and tell you she was proud of you. That she loved you. 
Why would she? Your parents clearly didn’t. Ingrid had no reason to either. 
Mapi had some reservations about the way Ingrid was with you. It was a complete 180 from the Norwegian’s normal demeanor. Ingrid was smiley and warm and silly with the younger girls on the team, and stern and harsh with you. Mapi noticed the way you watched your sister with her teammates, face full of jealousy. As time went on, though, and you didn’t cause trouble, Ingrid became more and more sure that her approach was the right one. Mapi still wasn’t as convinced. She wasn’t quite sure it was her place to say anything, though, so she kept a watchful eye on everything, and made sure to make you feel like their home was yours too.
You didn’t quite know what to make of Mapi, honestly. She was clearly infatuated with your sister. And she was always so kind to you. Mapi made you coffee every morning, made sure to buy all your favorite foods at the store, and she reminded you, repeatedly, that if you ever wanted to talk, about anything, she was around.  But Mapi was Ingrid’s. Not yours. If Ingrid was so reluctant to show you any affection, you shouldn’t seek it out from her girlfriend. 
You were quietly miserable. Ingrid thought you were okay, finally mellowing out. Mapi was caught somewhere in the middle, seeing both the side of yourself you hid from your sister, and the neutral façade you put on in front of her. 
For you, things couldn’t get much worse. Or at least, you didn’t think so. 
------
It had been a while since you’d gotten in a fight. You’d forgotten how good it felt to punch someone in the face who very much had it coming. 
It was your birthday. You would have forgotten, too, if a few of your old friends hadn’t texted you. Ingrid had forgotten. You’d woken up to her knocking on your door like she always did. She was focused on the important training session ahead, and barely spoke to you on the way to school. She’d forgotten your birthday, and you thought that it hadn’t bothered you. Until the idiotic group of boys was following you down the hallway, saying awful things. Until you’d snapped back at them in a way you never did, and until they began throwing punches. And you didn’t run. You turned and you fought and you let your anger and your hurt out for the first time in months. For the first time since you left Norway.
 There was an odd sense of calm that washed over you, waiting in the dean’s office for your sister to arrive. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, in that moment, what she would think. Your hands hurt, your face hurt, and you’d finally stood up for yourself to the awful boys that wouldn’t leave you alone. 
When Ingrid walked into the office, though, an absolutely livid expression on her face, you realized you did care. Very much. You had been waiting on the dean, and although he was a scary man, you would have rather faced him at that moment. 
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Ingrid hissed, grabbing your face in her hands and inspecting your wounds. 
“Ing,” 
“Do not. I cannot believe you. I don’t want to hear your excuses or your explanations. You are going to apologize to the dean, take your punishment, and we are going to go home. I’ll deal with you there. Understand?” 
You lowered your head, nodding. She took the seat on your other side, still visibly angry, though she softened for just a second as she looked closely at your hand. 
“Is anything broken?” She asked quietly. Your eyes flooded with tears at the question, everything inside of you screaming to lean into her arms. She was angry, you thought. She was angry, and she wouldn’t want to hug you right now. 
“I don’t think so.” You mumbled instead. 
“Good. María will patch you up when we get home.” Her tone was cold again, and you began to zone out. The dean walked in, spewing a long lecture. He didn’t tell Ingrid that you hadn’t swung first, or that the boys had been bothering you for weeks. He didn’t tell Ingrid what they called you, or that it was three 18 year old boys against an 18 year old girl. He just said that the school didn’t tolerate fighting, and that you would be suspended for a week. 
The worst part was that Ingrid didn’t even ask what happened. Not in the office, not in the car, not when you both got home. You used to get into fights all the time, back in Norway. She thought this was more of the same from you. Your sister stormed off to call your mom the minute you were in the house, leaving you standing in the entry hall in front of Mapi, eyes fixed on the ground. 
Mapi’s hand was gentle when it rested on your back, gently guiding you up the stairs and into the couple’s bathroom. She sat you on the counter like you were a little kid, and pulled out the first aid kit. Only then did you raise your head and look at her. You thought she would be mad, but she only looked concerned. 
“She hates me.” You said it before you could stop yourself, and your voice shook over every syllable. Mapi’s face melted, and she shook her head insistently, carefully wiping a tear off your face. 
“No, nena. She’s upset, but she loves you very much.” Mapi seemed convinced. She loved your sister, after all. And though you didn’t know it, Mapi had been a witness to your sister worrying over you for 2 years now. 
There was no use arguing, so you stopped talking again, and Mapi got back to cleaning your face up. She asked you a couple questions in English about things that hurt and didn’t hurt, and you responded in English. Mapi had moved on to cleaning the cuts on your knuckles when Ingrid appeared. 
“Can you bend your fingers?” Mapi asked. 
“Yeah, it’s a little sore, but I can bend them.” You replied. 
“Español.” Ingrid scolded. You nodded, correcting yourself quickly, now trying to stifle the flow of tears flowing from your eyes. 
“How are you feeling?” Ingrid asked, stepping in closer to study you closely. 
“Okay. Hurts a bit but I’m fine.” You said softly. 
“Do you promise it just hurts a bit?” Ingrid asked. 
“Yes.” It wasn’t a lie. Your body didn’t hurt that bad. You hurt though. Every inch of you ached with a deep sadness, a deep loneliness. But that wasn’t what Ingrid had asked. 
“We have a dinner tonight, a team dinner. Will you be okay here if we go?” 
A little bit of you shattered, then. Maybe you’d been hoping that Ingrid had remembered your birthday, had been planning a fun dinner or something. Clearly not. 
“Yeah. I’ll get a head start on my homework.” You managed, biting down hard on your lip to stop yourself from crying. Ingrid nodded, satisfied, but Mapi didn’t look away from you. 
“Are you sure? You look a bit upset, nena. We can stay if you need us.” 
You shook your head harshly. “No, I’m fine. Promise.” 
You were very far from fine. You needed to be alone, though, if you were going to feel every complicated emotion raging through you. 
------
“Ingrid,” Mapi said suddenly, about halfway into their drive to the restaurant. Ingrid hummed in response, looking over at her girlfriend from the passenger seat. “Your sister said something today. And it seemed like she really, really believed it. I think you need to be a little easier on her, amor. She’s just a kid.” 
“What did she say?” Ingrid wondered, head stuck on that comment. 
Mapi hesitated, well aware of how hard this might hit Ingrid. “She said you hated her. She was pretty convinced, Ingrid. How mad were you at the school?” 
Ingrid sighed roughly, running an exhausted hand over her face. “Fuck. She’s always been dramatic, I forget that she’s just… sensitive sometimes. I was pretty harsh.” She admitted. 
“Amor, I know you think this strict approach is working, but I don’t know. She seems so sad sometimes. She’s just a kid, and she’s doing her best. I think she needs you to be a bit… softer with her.” Mapi suggested, finally voicing the thoughts that had been plaguing her for weeks, if not months. 
Ingrid was quiet for a while. “Maybe. I don’t know, I thought it was working, but then today happened. I don’t know what to do.” 
“Why don’t you just… talk to her? What was the fight even about?” Mapi asked. 
Ingrid didn’t respond, her frustration with herself quickly replacing her frustration with you. 
“You didn’t ask?” Mapi sighed. 
“No, but the dean didn’t say either.” Ingrid defended halfheartedly. 
“That probably isn’t a good thing mi amor. We’ll talk to her when we get home. Figure out what’s going on.” Mapi declared. 
“We?” Ingrid asked quietly, a small smile tugging at her lips. 
“We.” Mapi affirmed, looking cautiously at her girlfriend. “Is that okay?” 
“More than okay.” Ingrid assured her. “I think she might need both of us.” 
It was clearer, now, to Ingrid. Suddenly, and very painfully. That she’d gone about this wrong. The extent of the damage that had been done was not yet to be realized, though. 
--------
The silence that echoed through the house was what got you. Today, on your 18th birthday, you sat alone at the kitchen table, tears falling freely from your eyes. They stung the cuts in on your face, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. It felt like wherever you went, you messed up. Wherever you went, you weren’t wanted. When you’d come to Norway, you’d had hope that maybe things would be different. Maybe Ingrid would treat you differently than your parents. She had, but you still didn’t feel loved. It felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with you that drove everyone away. You just wanted to make it better, and yet, at the same time, you felt so incredibly hopeless. Like there was nothing in the world you could do to make your family love you. You supposed it was your fault; you’d been acting out for years. Everyone was bound to get tired of you. You didn’t want to be like that, you just didn’t know what else to do. The age gap to your siblings was huge, your parents were tired of being parents, and no one had any time for you. Or the desire to make time. You’d done the only thing you could think of at the time to get their attention, and it had only made things worse. You had only made things worse. 
And still, a part of you was angry. Furious. Did you have to be perfect? Did you have to make no mistakes? Shouldn’t they love you regardless of all that? There was no consistency in your brain; sometimes it all felt like your fault, and other times it felt like there wasn’t anything you could do right. 
You felt the inexplicable urge to apologize. Really apologize, really explain.  Maybe they could forgive you. Maybe Ingrid could forgive you, maybe you could get her to understand. You didn’t think you could make it through an entire apology, though, not verbally, not face to face with your intense sister. So you got out a piece of paper, and began writing. 
Ingrid,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry you got stuck with me, and I’m sorry I haven’t been good enough. I’ve tried, I promise I have. Sometimes I feel like it isn’t possible for me to meet your standards, but I still try. 
I’m sorry about the fight today. They came at me, I swear. These three boys have been bothering me since I've arrived, and they say horrible things to me, and I just snapped. I should have just kept quiet, and they never would have started the fight, and I’m sorry I didn’t do that. 
I’m sorry I’m always home and bothering you and Mapi. I’m sorry I haven’t made any friends here, and I’m sorry my spanish isn’t perfect. I’m sorry I'm so miserable. I don’t know why I can’t just be happy, but I can’t. I want to be. I really do. It just feels like you’re always mad at me. I feel like such an awful person no matter what I do. Mom and Dad didn’t want me. And I don’t think you want me. I don’t think I want me either, sometimes. 
I’m trying to like it here, but it’s so different. I miss Mom and Dad, even though I know they don’t miss me. I miss my home and I miss Norway. I miss my friends. I didn’t really feel like I belonged there, but at least it was familiar. 
I think I’m mad at you, too. You’re my sister, Ingrid. Do you always have to be so harsh with me? I think I’d be happier, if you seemed happier that I was here. 
You forgot my birthday. Mom and Dad didn’t remember either.  I turned 18 today. I turned 18 today, and you and Mapi went to dinner without me. I made a sandwich and ate it by myself in the kitchen. I’ve never felt so worthless. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this. I just want you all to love me again. I want to love myself again. I think I’d do anything, to feel like I have a family again. 
I’m so desperate I’m writing you this absurd letter that I’ll probably never give you. I don’t know if I can give it to you. I’m scared to give it to you, and I’m scared not to. 
I’m scared because sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me. I’m scared because it feels like no one would even notice if I was gone. It feels so easy. Everyday it feels like it would be easier. 
I guess I’m asking for help, Ingrid. I don’t want to ask you to fix this for me, but I don’t think I can do it myself.  I want to be better, I want to
Your writing cut off abruptly, as the front door opened. All you felt was panic. You were a mess, sobbing uncontrollably on the couch with the letter almost completed in front of you. They weren’t supposed to be home yet. The event was supposed to be a long one, and you’d planned on leaving the letter, if you were brave enough, on the kitchen table, and going to bed. Handing it to your sister face to face had never been the plan. You weren’t even sure it made any sense, and you weren’t sure you wanted to give it to her. 
The front door swung open anyway, and Mapi walked into the house. You remembered, then, that she was always coming home early. She had a follow up appointment for her knee the following morning, and she hadn’t wanted to be out late. Alexia had driven her home early, not wanting a late night herself. Ingrid was still at the dinner, but Mapi was here. Standing frozen in the entryway, with a perfect view of the disaster you were on the couch. You were frozen, and she was frozen, but then she was moving, moving closer to you, and you couldn’t you couldn’t you couldn’t. 
“Pequeña, what is it? What hurts?” Mapi asked urgently, moving to sit next to you on the couch. She thought you must be hurt, physically. The thought that the agony on your face could be from anything else didn't even enter her brain. 
She sat next to you, and you were still frozen, not even able to move the piece of paper out of sight. 
Mapi saw it. You were using one of your textbooks as a surface, not unlike how you did your homework. Your favorite pen was in your hand. And resting in your lap, on the textbook, was a piece of paper that somehow radiated pain. Mapi was reaching for it before she even knew what she was doing, and you were still frozen. Frozen, staring at Mapi like you were afraid of her. Very suddenly, Mapi was terrified. 
“Nena, what is this?” She asked softly. It was to Ingrid. Written in Spanish. Mapi saw her name in it a few places as she scanned it over, before she looked back up at you. “Nena?” she prompted again. 
This time, you did move. You jolted forward, reaching for the letter, a deep gasping breath escaping your mouth. Mapi held it out of your grasp, her eyes stuck on one sentence, the only sentence that she’d read so far. It had jumped out at her. 
“I’m scared because sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me.” 
An instantly, Mapi knew she couldn’t let you take the piece of paper back. She knew she needed to call Ingrid and tell her to come home. She knew she couldn’t let you out of her sight. You were so fragile, though, sitting in front of her like you were second away from shattering into a million pieces. Too many pieces for anyone to ever be able to fix. 
“Nena, I think I need to read this.” She whispered, watching carefully as you pulled your hand back towards your body, as you curled in on yourself, and began to shake with silent sobs. 
And then Mapi read the letter. With one hand on your back, and one hand tightly clutching the paper, she read the most painful thing she’d ever laid her eyes on. It tore her apart, reading how you felt. 
And it wasn’t meant for her. It was meant for Ingrid. And, ridiculously, Mapi wished she could fix it before Ingrid ever read what you’d written. Mapi would have done anything in that moment, to make things right with you, and to make sure Ingrid never had to know how badly she had hurt you. Because realizing it would hurt the Norwegian just as much. 
Mapi ached to tell you so many things. That Ingrid loved you so much, she just wasn’t sure how to help you. That she thought what she was doing was working, helping. That she was sure Ingrid didn’t know the date, or she’d have never forgotten your birthday. That she knew Ingrid would do anything, anything in the world, to fix this. That Mapi was sure both she and Ingrid would go back in time if they could, and fix everything that had gone wrong. 
She couldn’t force that all on you now. She couldn’t defend Ingrid, or herself. 
Instead, she placed the letter carefully on the table, and sent Ingrid a very brief text. 
“You need to come home now. Everything is fine, everyone is safe, but you need to come home.”
Instead, Mapi pulled you into her lap, and held you so tight it almost hurt. 
Instead, your sister’s girlfriend, who owed you absolutely nothing, told you, over and over, how very loved you were. How proud she was of you. How her and Ingrid were going to fix everything if it killed them. 
They’d fix everything before it killed you. 
------
🙂
1K notes · View notes
yourfatherlucifer · 5 months
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Extraterrestrial (JYH)
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Alien!Yunho x afab!reader
Summary: Your ship is on the brink of being forever lost in the galaxy, but when a monster invades your ship to top it all off, his plans for you are a cause for concern.
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, egg preg, alienxhuman sex, rough and mean Yunho, dead husband San, monster cock, tall ass Yunho
AU: Alien/Space
Genre: Smut
WC: 2.2k
Tags: For @potatomountain because I know you’ve been struggling lately, so I hope you can enjoy this with all your might. You deserve this. I love you, friend. This is longest I’ve written in so long..lol
Nets: @newworldnet
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The rapid beeping of the ship was so overwhelming, the red lights were flashing in warning. The shaking was so powerful. If only you didn’t run into that asteroid belt earlier from running from a pirate space ship. With your crew still in cryogenic states, you could only handle this on your own.
You were the captain after all, the expert in the technology. Of course, you could’ve awoken your second in command but you didn’t want to bother them. The process was a painstaking one anyway.
The rattling was beginning to get annoying as you tried to do everything you could, “Dammit, come on!” You smacked the control panel, clearly getting frustrated.
There wasn’t another planet for several light years and that was so agitating. There was nowhere to stop to repair your ship. Even the hull was damaged, you were sure something fell off from the collision.
You were scared to death that your ship would explode and you’d never make it home. This expedition was supposed to save you from your dying planet to find a new one.
You reached down to kiss the photo necklace wrapped around your neck. It was of your dead husband, San. He was an astronaut explorer as well. But his ship was lost and he never made it back home. You could only assume he was dead. It’s been a year after all. So you took this mission upon yourself, in hopes of finding him or a new planet for your human population to live on. You wanted to make your husband proud.
“I’m so sorry, Sannie, I’ve failed us both and our planet.” A tear fell down your cheeks as your fist collided against the console in frustration.
A flash passed by your ship but you didn’t even notice, too busy focusing on your impending death.
The beep stopped abruptly which made you look around confused, “The hell..?”
A couple of chittering sounds caught your attention and you spun around, only to be met with an eight foot tall hunched over alien. He..if it was a he, was beautiful. With his tanned skin and green scales, he looked almost human. If it wasn’t for the scales and tentacles coming out of his back and his ridiculously long legs, you would’ve thought it was someone from your crew.
So, how’d it get in?
“What..what do you want?” You backed up into the console, clearly confused and scared.
Was he here to eat you? To steal from you? Just what-
His face softened up with a smile, “I’m not going to eat you, so you can stop thinking about it. I’m not going to steal from you either.”
“Then what is it you want? I don’t have anything else to offer.” You crossed your arms over your chest, still not sure of his intentions.
“Well, I have a proposition for you, human.” His long legs carried him over to you, from there you could see his beautiful green eyes and somehow handsome face.
You’d never seen an alien up close, of course, back on earth, there was always talk of extraterrestrials but never any appearing despite the very popular pop culture of alien invasions. Even with the planet dying, there was none.
“Well, I’ll fix your ship for you. But.”
“But?”
“Let me impregnate you with my eggs. It’s my species mating season and unfortunately for me. I’m away from my planet and you’re the only near species I can copulate with. I have to get these eggs out or it’s painful for me. I’m not about to waste them either.” His eyes scanned your body, clear with interest.
“If I agree, you will one hundred percent fix my ship?” You had to admit, he was far too attractive to deny his offer.
“Yes, and I don’t break my promises. I’m desperate and you’re definitely the perfect specimen.”
You shrugged your shoulders and slipped off your shirt, “Alright, I don’t see why not then.”
He grinned in relief, watching as your breasts bounced in their final confines, “Perfect.”
He walked even closer, grabbing you by the hips and lifting you with ease to set you on the ships console, “I will warn you, I’m nothing like the human men you can have intercourse with. I’m far bigger. I might just break you.”
You licked your lips in excitement, “I don’t mind, the bigger the better.” You joked, trying to ease the tension.
“You say that, until I’ve fucked you full with my children.” He grabbed the strings of his loin cloth and it fell to the floor.
Your eyes widened at the sheer size of his length, he wasn’t lying. This was the biggest cock you’ve seen, probably even the prettiest. It couldn’t even compare to your deceased husbands cock. Even though he was big for your species. But this alien, was massive.
He looked like measured to at least 10 inches, if not more. The girth was crazy as well. Green scales lined the thick and spined base. Just like some spots on his body.
“Um..wow…” you were in complete shock, unable to tear your eyes away, until you felt something thick and slimy pull your head back up to face him. It was one of his tentacles.
“My name is Yunho. That is what you will scream as I breed you, got it?” His voice became stern and it was so attractive, you could feel yourself becoming a waterfall below.
Yunho growled as his nose turned up to sniff the air, “I can smell you human, your cunt is excreting such a sweet scent. I must ravage you.”
You whimpered with his words, “Please, tear me apart. I want to feel you.”
“Be patient, human. You’ll get it.” His fingers wrapped around the hem of your pants and yanked them down, along with your soaked underwear. He threw them to the captain's chair behind him and groaned in the new exposure of your scent.
Yunho’s face dove to the source, his tongue licking up a stripe between your folds. Gathering your slick on his wet appendage. He moaned in the flavor, “Oh, human. You have no idea how I’m going to ruin you. You will search the galaxy for me after I’m done with you.” His teeth sunk into the plush of your inner thighs, “You will continue to search for the same feeling I’m going to give you. And only will I return to collect my kin.”
You could only whine in response, tugging onto his black hair.
“You are nothing but a breedable toy for me. Nothing more, nothing less, do you understand that?”
“Yes, yes!”
His tongue encircled your weeping hole and prodded at your walls, he was enjoying this far too much. Your human sounds were delightful to his ears.
“Yunho!” You cried out when he moved away from your cunt to your thigh once again, planting his teeth into the skin. You could only assume this was his way of marking his mate.
“What are you?” You whined as he pulled away.
“I will never tell you my species name. I will not let you find me until I need to find you. This is a one in a change opportunity, hush before I change my mind.” Yunho’s eyes flashed over, warning you with ill intent, “I will not hesitate to leave you and your ship stranded.” He was mean but you loved it.
He eventually lost interest in eating your cunt out and moved his tentacle to replace his tongue instead. It was slightly thinner than his massive cock, so it must be used to prep you.
As it slowly slid inside, Yunho had stood up, pulling your hips closer to his to the point his cock rested against your abdomen. It was so big that it reached the valley of your breasts. Just how was he going to fit without rearranging your organs?
He watched as his tentacle slowly sank in, he could barely feel how you pulled him in. However he could feel just how tight you were. That was going to be a problem. So maybe two tentacles would have to stretch you out for him.
He groaned in thought, he didn’t expect having to do so much work for a human cunt to fit him and his eggs.
“Come on, stop being so tight, human.” Yunho’s grip only tightened as his tentacle tried to slither in further.
Once that one was settled in, another snaked around from his back all the way to your occupied cunt. It pushed its way in, causing your mouth to fall open in a silent scream.
“That’s more like it.” Yunho’s large hand reached to cup your breast while he felt your cunt loosen around him, “Soon I’ll be able to breed you.”
“I don’t care, just fuck me, Yunho, please!”
Yunho shrugged, “If you insist.” His two tentacles began pumping in and out, the sloshing sounds of your cunts arousal and the excrement excreting from his tentacles didn’t help.
He held you tight to his chest because you could barely sit up straight with the way he was fucking into you. It was even his cock yet and he had you weak.
You weren’t used to being so packed. Just the two tentacles combined were bigger than your husband's cock when he used to make love to you.
“Stop thinking of that human man. I’m the one fucking you. Get him out of your head.” He growled in warning.
“I can’t just erase my husband’s memory!”
Since the image wasn’t disappearing from your head, Yunho bit between your shoulder and neck, “I won’t tell you again.”
“Fine!” You tried to focus on the way his tentacles fucked in unison only for them to pull out and get replaced by his monster size cock instead.
This time a scream fell out of your throat, he was so big. Far too big. You could feel him ripping you apart from the inside. Even the bulge in your stomach from him was painful, but felt too good at the same time.
His hips slammed against yours with each thrust. The console creaked in protest.
Yunho’s grip was so tight that it was nearly painful but you didn’t care, not when your senses were dulling from the way his cock buried itself deep within your wet cavern.
“Yunho!” You cried out. He was being very rough with you. He manhandled you all the way to captains chair, planting himself in the seat.
He made your legs straddle him. You didn’t know how you were going to ride him, not with how weak you felt, “Come on, human, you can do it.”
You whimpered as you sunk yourself back down, legs shaking in protest.
Yunho grinned as he watched you struggle to take him, “Don’t be pathetic, I know you can do it.”
Your hands gripped his shoulders as you repeatedly fucked yourself on him, “It hurts so good.”
His free hand squeezed the bulge each time it appeared on your stomach. He was making it worse but you assume he did this to get it over with. You were sure it wasn’t pleasant for him to fuck a human much smaller than his alien form.
As you reached your nth orgasm, tears were flowing down your cheeks, how hadn’t he cum yet? Why weren’t you filled yet?
“You’ll get it soon, be patient, human. You’re so eager to carry my children.” This had him smirking. He wanted to ruin you.
His hips thrusted up to match your pace and help you along, “Doing so well, little human.” His reached back to grip your hair and yank it backwards, exposing more neck to him.
Yunho marked your neck with more bites and bruises, marking his territory for any other aliens passing by or anyone that invades this ship while he’s gone, awaiting for his children’s birth.
Once his thrusted started slowing down, that’s when you knew he was near. His cock began enlarging and your eyes widened in shock, “Oh fuck, Yunho!”
He stopped your movements and waited as his eggs flowed out his cock and into your cunt, all the way to your womb, “That’s right..take it all. Like the good human mother you will be.” His hand rubbed your stomach as it began swelling with several of his eggs.
He was proud. Very proud and felt relieved. Yunho we finally free of his pain and relieved for the future of his bloodline.
“My perfect breedable toy.” Once his cock returned to normal size, he slowly pulled out, watching as you became breathless. Nearly doubling over.
“So full..” you whined, holding your stomach with such care.
“Good.” He stood up and rested you where he once sat, “I’m going to leave now. I’ll repair your ship on my way out. I’ll return in a few earth months. Your pregnancy won’t be as long as the normal human one.”
You looked ethereal but he wasn’t going to stick around, not when his use for you was over.
“Yunho..” Your breasts were in pain, already trying to accommodate the eggs inside of you.
“Don’t do anything to my eggs while I’m gone, or I’ll destroy everything.” Yunho’s eyes narrowed, making his way to the exit.
“I won’t..”
“Good. Farewell human, await my return.”
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banj0possum · 11 months
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I immediately apologize for the bad English!
How does Caspian plan to keep the fem!reader underwater? Or does he have another plan? thank you, your work is very nice🛐
ill be making this gn since its a part 2 but if you want a one-off thing with a fem!reader, just request it! :3
Also sorry for the long hiatus again but here's the long awaited part 2 ! yaay you're not dead !! :D
Yandere!Siren x GN Reader Pt. 2
CW: Kidnapping, Slight Stockholm Syndrome, Non-con licking (reader is asleep), idk Caspian being a delulu icon
🌊 You wake up with a throbbing headache and a vague memory of what transpired before you blacked out.
🌊 The feeling of overwhelming pressure and deepness comes back to you, memories start to come back as you see a red mark on your arm.
🌊 You remember now, the screams and cries of your classmates ring in your ears before the memory of being dragged down to the depths hit you like a wave.
🌊 a splash of water pulled you out of your thoughts, it was then you looked around at the place you were in.
🌊 It looked like you were in a cave illuminated by algae and glowing sea creatures. the cavernous area was sandy and a bit wet with a deep pool which led to an underwater tunnel, it was the only entrance and exit to the cave from what you can see.
🌊 Behind you was a house built out of a shipwreck, the broken boards of the deck repaired with random planks and cloths.
🌊 "Honey~ I know you're a bit out of sorts right now but uhm..could you help me out a bit~?" a familiar voice echoed throughout the cave.
🌊 You gasp and instinctively stand up and back away from where the voice came from. Caspian was lying on the shore, a net full of what seems to be canned food and fish tied around his waist like a satchel.
🌊 "My treasure~! I know you're excited to explore your new home, but can you help me get to shore first~" Caspian coos as he smiles at you awkwardly, his large tail flopping on the sand.
🌊 You grab a piece of driftwood and hold it like a weapon. "D-Don't come any closer!" you yell at him nervously, afraid of what he might do after you saw his capabilities, and his sharp teeth..
🌊 "My sweet, you have nothing to worry about~! Why would I ever hurt you~? Those mean humans tried to hurt us! You'd never do that to me now would you~?" He tries to calm you down.
🌊 It takes a while for you to calm down considering how confused and scared you were, but with no way out and Caspians lack of intention to hurt you, the only thing left to do was to just sit and try to think logically about the situation.
🌊 Caspian tries to help you make sense of your little predicament, it was mostly him making an excuse to hold you close because "Am I not able to help you relax my treasure~?"
🌊 So you're in a cave after getting kidnapped brought to safety by a mermaid, how fun...
🌊 You has no choice but to accept your new lifestyle, after all, the only out was an underwater cavern, and you had no idea how deep or long it was. Caspian might not be the best at moving on land, but without him, you'd drown if you attempt to leave.
🌊 Once you told the siren that you weren't going anywhere soon unfortunately, He lit up and gave you a big, soaking wet hug. "Oh my treasure! You'll be happy here, I promise~!" He peppers your face with kisses, some making you shiver at the thought of his sharp teeth being so close to your flesh.
🌊 He'd go out every day to get food for you and him, sometimes surprising you with gifts!
🌊 He knows you like reading, so any book or parchment that he finds is immediately brought to you so you won't be so bored <3
🌊 More often than not they're too wet to actually read, but you appreciate the effort you suppose.
🌊 You also had to explain what cooking is to Caspian and that humans can't eat fish raw...and alive..
🌊 Get ready to be showered with pearls and pretty shells and treasure! Caspian is a bit picky when it comes to his own horde so anything that he considers nice but not on par with his tastes goes to you~!
🌊 He would always ask to sleep with you in your bed, and he doesn't take no for an answer.
🌊 "It's cold my treasure~! Could you warm me up~?"
🌊 "It gets so lonely in the water~ May I stay in bed with you my love~?"
🌊 "But I got all those nice things for you~!"
🌊 He would keep whining and fussing until you agree. He doesn't care at all that your sheets are all now soaked.
🌊 If you tell him to dry off first, he will! But you'll have to pay him with a kiss~
🌊 He may or may not sniff your hair while you sleep...and maybe lick your neck..
🌊 He can't get himself to sleep sometimes, he'd just watch you sleep the whole time. What can he say? You're too irresistible~!
🌊 Sometimes he'd even whisper sweet things into your ear, promising you the world if you'd let him.
🌊 More often than not, he sings you to sleep. The anxieties of never seeing your family again and living off of just fish and other sea creatures was getting to you, not to mention the many hours of being alone in a cave.
🌊 His siren song lulled you to bed every night. No matter how much you distanced yourself away from him, he was always able to calm you down with his voice.
🌊 "Hush now my dear~...You'll learn to like it here~ And one day, we'll be married and live happily ever after~ Just like in your stories~ Just you wait~..."
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fckng-guts · 3 months
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safe
bucky barnes x reader.
bucky hasn't slept in two days. you try to help him.
hurt/comfort. reader has mind control abilities.
1k+ words.
the water pours outside, heavy clouds make the moonlight disappear in the immensity of the sky. the angry droplets hit the ground, the windows and adds to the usual turmoil in bucky's mind. the hideout is as good as it can get and there isn't much importance when one is familiar with precarious living situations. it's been two days in the hunt, following almost absent leads. this is when things start to get heated and frustration creeps in. the lack of sleep, the wetness of the place and the loudness of the rain makes it all worse; bucky starts to feel it. and sadly it isn't worth sleeping. the nightmares haunt him, especially during his asleep moments. but there isn't anywhere to go, the car has been damaged beyond repair and the rest of the team will take a long time to arrive. it's almost like he's been left behind. damn it, bucky thinks. do they not see him as someone worthy of companionship and rescue? the threatening thoughts begin to rise.
you watch bucky pace from side to side, all ready with a demeanor that would put any other person off. but to you, there is nothing more than care when you notice bucky's furrowed eyebrows, vacant eyes and a numb expression. it's a sign that his own thoughts are his greatest torturers at this moment. your phone blips with a message, it says
rain flooded the way. can't reach you guys - sam.
"yeah, it seems like we're stuck in here for a few hours. they can't get to us at the moment."
the monotonous sound that erodes from bucky is simply a hum. making it known that he understood.
"you need to get some rest, it's been two days."
it's worth a try. as expected, bucky denies it. the overwhelming sensation of not being safe is impossible to ignore. the tension in his shoulders is more than visible and the air is thick. it may be raining, but this fuck-ass of a spot doesn't have ventilation. the rain is too heavy to let the air circulate through the room. it's damp. you get up to stretch your legs, the sound of your soaked boots makes bucky turn heels to you. he stares.
"you should get these off."
sharp. He says as his back faces you again. it'll be a long night, you think. but yes, it would be better to get rid of soaked boots and socks for now. sighing, you sit back on the ragged couch to take them off.
"i could help. if you want."
for a while you hesitate to say this out loud. afraid it could come out wrong or something. it's difficult to offer such a thing to someone whose mind has been controlled over and over, stripped away of it's sanity for long.
"help with what?"
bucky will never fail to hide his true emotions, especially those who eat him up the most.
"with what's keeping you from closing your eyes. the nightmares. i can help, if you want."
you say slowly, carefully picking the words to make them seem like a friendly offer. to not make it worse than it is. and you continue "you can rest. for a while. it's been two days, bucky. and we're safe here."
bucky isn’t used to the idea of others caring for him, it feels odd. and it’s way too scary to have someone in control of his mind again. but if it’s you, it’s okay. isn’t it?
fuck, he thinks.
“i don’t need it. i’m fine.” bucky answers harshly.
you knew it, it was a weird thing to offer a man like him to ease his nightmares away. one simply doesn’t ask if you can touch his stained memories.
“it’s fine. understood. i wouldn't do anything you don’t agree with.” regretful, you try to brush it off like it was nothing. trying to hide the embarrassment that came along with it. but these last words steer something in his core. bucky does feel like he can trust you, but there are so many what if’s that get in the way. what if it scares you away? what if you do see him as a monster, what if then? it’s complex when you ask him with such care, tensed up about how it might sound. the amount of care embedded in these words. bucky sighs. heavy weight crosses the room, he avoids direct eye contact for a second. the infinite silence held in the room breaks when bucky says
“thank you.
and it’s almost inaudible, like he wasn’t supposed to say it. his mouth opens briefly as if he wants to let something out, but it’s stuck.
“it’s fine. i shouldn't have asked that. didn’t think how weird it would be till it came out of my mouth.”
you answer in a light manner, rubbing your face as you do so. it’s been a long mission. you feel bucky lean properly on the couch, tired just as much as you.
time goes by slowly with him awkwardly sitting by your side. bucky’s considering all the possible options if he does accept your kind offer. he’s been by your side for a long time now, surviving through unexpected situations. he has seen the things you’re capable of and the loyalty that’s been gifted to him. you won’t run, will you?
“twenty minutes.”
bucky bitterly says. he’s taking risks and you know these words came from a brave part of him. so when you turn to him, he’s already closing his eyes and resting his head on the couch. arms crossed and still holding to his gun.
“will you give me your hand?” you ask kindly. tt’s easier to access his mind through touch. a second later his ungloved hand meets yours. and from there you start your work, by his side. as soon as your skin touches him cold one, your mind is connected to his. it’s possible to sense the anxiety and fear and also the effort he’s putting into easing his own emotions. it doesn’t take long to watch bucky fall asleep with your abilities, he starts to look peaceful. no violent memories shall haunt him while you’re here.
this time you’re the one staring. cherishing this moment of closeness. you notice how his face softens, how his fair falls on his face and lips come slightly apart. you’ve never had the chance to actually see how beautiful he is. never had the chance to get so, so close. ah, the shape of his nose. his chest moving up and down quietly. there are many details you’d like to keep hidden in a secret room in the palace of your mind. you’ll never forget the warmth of his hand in yours like tonight. nothing compares to this moment. twenty minutes do turn into an hour, perhaps an hour and a half. not entirely sure. but you know your heart is blossoming for the man. it’s been a while, you think to yourself, since you looked at him differently. a little more than just partners in a mission. your head comes to rest closely to his, caressing his hand and appreciating this connection. it stays like this for a moment till bucky slowly opens his eye and meets yours. he’s safe. safe. his senses come to him even slower, the exhaustion took him out for good. and you don’t let go of his hand, not yet.
you’re given a soft smile.
and then you hear in a whisper,
“thank you.”
because in a long time bucky feels comfort in the hands of someone else.
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