#I was pretty into the show back in the early 2010's

[alexadraws]

Was feeling kind of nostalgic and drew the purple horse

[phantomrose96]

If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.

(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)

Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.

Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.

Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and

But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.

So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.

But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.

But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.

So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.

You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.

The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.

Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.

Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.

You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.

Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.

Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.

Never mind that last part.

And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.

Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."

To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.

It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.

So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:

Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.

[eds6ngel]

could you do a sleepover gone smutty for chrissy x reader? 💋

just like in the movies ꒰ঌ ໒꒱

virgin!chrissy cunningham x fem!reader

summary: whilst watching 'black swan' with your best friend, a certain sex scene comes on the screen, to which chrissy is very intrigued as to what it feels like...

warnings: SMUT!! oral (chrissy receiving.) orgasms. kissing. pet names (honey, sweetie, baby.) teensy bit of corruption kink. virgin!chrissy. experienced!reader. queer!reader. swearing. 'black swan' spoilers? 2010s!au. mentions of homophobia. food mentions. some fluff at the end!! [1.8k].

a/n: thank you so much for the request, hun!! just wanna preface by saying thank you to my queer best friend and random posts on reddit for helping me with the description of this. my poor lil virgin self was confused as to how to describe the sensations, but hopefully i got it somewhat accurate in the end :')

You and your best friend Chrissy are enjoying a girls sleepover at your place on a beautiful spring Friday night. Your parents were out of town on a conference trip, so you had the entire place to yourself. Perfect for the both of you to be silly, have aggressive pillow fights, and watch ‘Black Swan’ at the loudest volume possible.

You two are about an hour into the film, occasionally tucking into the bowl of popcorn laid out in front of you. But, you’d both much rather prefer to dig into your individual bars of chocolate on the bedside counters.

You would be lying if you didn’t put this film on for a little bit of self-pleasure for yourself. Although an early 2010’s movie, the sex scene in this film was actually targeted towards a female audience, so it felt special to feel yourself represented authentically on screen in a sexual sense this early on in film history.

When Nina and Lily’s lips crash into one another, Chrissy lets out a little “Oh my gosh!” beside you. Chrissy was always accepting of your queerness, despite the snide remarks from her parents anytime you went to her house. Her shock was obviously related to the context of the movie, the scene was a pure shock factor after all.

However, Chrissy’s eyes seem to dilate when Nina’s head is thrown back, Lily’s mouth attached to her cunt as she eats the woman out.

“Um…” Chrissy squeaks out, “What does that feel like? With, you know… another woman?”

Your eyes take note of the way Chrissy’s thighs are pretty close together, almost squeezing as a way to relieve something…

And it’s hot. It’s super fucking hot.

Your attitude immediately changes to one of sensuality, teeth lightly grazing your bottom lip, angling your body to the side as you sneakily look her up and down in her pink nightdress.

“Why? Is it making you feel a certain way?” you ask, trying to get her to speak up.

Her pussy tightens at the words, her eyebrows raising as she purses her lips, “Feels good… down there.”

She is very shy with you, a new side of her unlocking that the neither of you were aware of. You understand how scary it is realising that maybe you aren’t as straight as you thought you were, so you try to make the situation as comfortable as possible for her.

You grab her bare thigh, pushing it apart, her moisturised, smooth skin brushing softly against your fingertips. Your other hand runs gently across the centre of her cloth-covered vulva, appreciating the way she flinches against your touch. “Yeah? Right here?”

She nods, her eyes not being able to look away from the sight of your black-painted fingernails tracing against her. She never thought she would be so into this. She’s only been with Jason in the past, and he was abstinent, so this would not only be her first time with a girl, but her first time altogether.

“Do you want me to show you what it feels like, Chris?”

“Um…” she thinks, a little hesitant on the whole situation. “I’ve never done this before…” she quietly speaks out.

“Hey, hey,” you shush her softly, “That’s okay.” Your hand flutters tenderly against the side of her cheek, “I can guide you completely through this, okay? And if at any time you want to stop, just let me know, okay?”

She lets out a sigh, nodding softly, “I’m just scared…”

“Scared about what, honey?”

Her breath hitches at the word ‘honey.’ She already liked the sound of that. She wanted to hear you say that more. It was so sweet, so tender, so… loving.

She gulps, “I’m scared I won’t like it…”

You chuckle softly, “As I said, you can stop any time you want. But, the way your pretty little thighs flinched at my touch… I think you’ll enjoy a whole lot.”

She didn’t realise how much notice you had taken to her small actions of pleasure like that. If you took note of that, what would happen when she couldn’t even try to hide it any longer?

You shift your body so your face is in line with her legs, beginning to delicately place tender kisses along the insides of her thighs. Your fingertips knead into her plushy skin, cupping perfectly into the palms of her hands. You refrain from giving her hickeys, although you’d really like to, just in case her parents notice when she wears that nightdress, or even her cheer uniform, at home.

You tap the lining of her underwear with your pointer finger, “Legs up, sweetie.”

Those pet names were gonna send her to Heaven, but before she can dwell on that, she follows your soft-spoken commands, lifting her legs up so you can delicately remove her pink panties, perfectly matching with her nightdress.

You sigh as you take in the sight of her pretty pussy, “Wow, baby… So gorgeous.” You move your middle finger through her glistening folds, her slick immediately collecting on her fingers. Chrissy lets out a soft sigh above you, her legs flinching at the sensation.

“So wet for me, honey. You ready to find out what it feels like?”

She nods more confidently now, the scene long gone on the small television perched on your bedroom dresser.

“Okay. Just tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

She hums in response, before you dive into her pussy. You drag your tongue from her puckered hole to her clit, swirling your tongue around it, letting her feel every sensation of pleasure.

Chrissy cannot believe what she is experiencing. Everything is so… smooth. Your mouth is so warm, and adds so much extra wetness to what she could already feel between her thighs. The sensation is truly unlike anything she had experienced before.

Your tongue is flicking side to side on her clit, Chrissy’s soft moans filling the air, the calm sounds of the film fading behind you. That was no longer the focus. She was the focus. Only her.

She can feel the sensations all over her body, to the point where she feels as if she’s floating, “Gosh, that’s so nice…”

“Yeah?” you come up for air, “Is it as good as you imagined?”

“Better,” she squeaks out, your mouth wrapping around her clit and sucking, causing her to take a harsh intake, “It’s so warm and tingly.”

“Mhmm,” you mumble against her core, completely unaware of the absolute vibrations it would send through her, Chrissy let out a loud cry.

“Holy shit babe, you sound so pretty for me,” you let out without a second thought, you mind consumed by Chrissy.

You’re determined now, your movements speeding up as her moans become more jagged, her hips softly moving against your face. You let her body take over, wanting her to experience everything she ever needed. You could always be rough and demanding with her another time. God, you hoped there was another time.

What once started as small waves were slowly growing into large tides. What she would normally run away from with squeaks and giggles at the beach was the complete opposite here. She wanted to be drowned in them forever.

“Uh, uh, uh, uh.” Those were the only sounds escaping Chrissy’s mouth, her eyes closed and head thrown back. She was on a different planet entirely, never wanting to descend back to Earth.

You moaned, licked, sucked, anything to get her closer to that edge. You could sense by the way her legs were closing further and further into your head, she was almost there. You just had to get her to that final wave.

“Sweet— Sweetie, my gosh. My gosh, something is happening. Feels so good.”

“That’s it, baby,”you cooed at her, “Almost there for me. Just a little bit more, I got you, honey.”

There was something about her innocence about it all that sent your brain into a spiral. The fact she had never felt an orgasm in her life was something you were determined to keep sacred to yourself. You wanted to be her first… and definitely only.

“Ah, ah! I’m gonna— My gosh, oh!”

“Honey, honey, baby, look at me,” you encourage her. She hadn’t opened her eyes in a long time, not even throughout any of your praise, but something in her mind compelled her to look down at you. And thank god she did.

You make direct eye contact with her, completely parting with her lips as you lowly say, “Cum for me,” before sucking as hard as you can on her pretty, swollen clit.

She lets out a loud whine, thighs trapping you against her as they shake uncontrollably. It feels like fireworks have exploded in her stomach, electric shocks being sent to her brain as she has not a single thought in her mind. It’s so… consuming, mind-numbing. She doesn’t even know where she is. Heaven, Earth, Mars, she doesn’t care, as long as she gets to experience that again… and experience it with you.

Her legs are still shaking as you part from her clit, your hands massaging the plushy skin in order to relax her body and muscles. “You doin’ okay?” you ask gently, Chrissy still looking utterly blissed out.

“Yes… I wanna feel that again.”

“You do, huh?” you chuckle with a sweet kiss to her inner thigh, “Well, I’m happy to oblige. But, for now, I think you need some rest.”

The movie is coming towards the end, only a couple more scenes before the ending. You’ll have to watch it again with her someday, hopefully not getting too distracted this time.

You encourage Chrissy to go to the bathroom whilst you set up the bed, discarding of the uneaten snacks and fluffing the pillows for an ultimate night of comfort.

As she returns, her make-up had been removed, much to your dismay. Seeing her mascara dripping down her cheeks was a sight you’d wish to see every goddamn day on this Earth.

She tucks herself in neatly beside you, snuggling under the covers and facing you. She opens her arms up, encouraging you to cuddle her, to which you agree, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek as you get comfy.

“Thank you,” she simply whispers.

“Of course. Anytime, okay?”

She hums, before slowly drifting off into a deep and content sleep. You had no idea where this had left you in terms of the friendship and relationship barrier, but it was something you could worry about in the morning. For now, you could fall asleep with the prettiest girl in existence in your arms, and that’s all that mattered.

taglist: @agxxb @robinsno1lesbian

[condensed-ink]

I've been thinking a lot about #FixTF2 and I know that some might have their doubts about the movement, however, I've realized that, even if it does not succeed in getting Valve's attention, it will end up contributing towards an important development in recent years - the shift in the public perception of Valve.

If you are person who was growing up in the early 2010's then you obviously remember how Valve games were essentially the cultural zeitgeist of the time, how you would see pictures of King Gaben on every meme/YouTube thumbnail during a Steam Summer Sale. As I understand it, Valve essentially rode this wave of good will throughout the 2010's. Even when everyone was getting frustrated with the lack of sequels for games such as HL2 and L4D2, some people would just excuse it with "ah y'know Valve, not communicating and not doing anything is just their style, this is just probably part of Gaben's 5D chess - tier master plan". However, the cracks in this image have been slowly showing up for a long time:

Portal fans haven't had anything since Portal 2's release back in 2011. We have had some small VR titles but that's hardly any consolation.

Left for Dead 2 came out all the way back in 2009 with nothing afterwards. As of June of 2024, the game still has more than 10 thousand concurrent players yet it is also unplayable for a significant amount of people due to reported DDos attacks.

The suffering of Half - life fans at this point is a meme in itself. The only thing we got was HL:Alyx back in 2020 and, even though it's a very good game, it was inaccessible to a lot of people at launch due the costs and lack of VR hardware. We were left on a cliff-hanger AGAIN and four years later we have no news of any follow-up.

In my opinion, Valve to some extent could ignore these fandoms since they were smaller compared to their big earners. But it is the recent issues with these bigger titles that have started to test everyone's patience and tolerance for Valve's bullshit:

Team Fortress 2 - I mean what else is there to say: rampant cheating and idle bots, bot hosters doxxing and swatting people. The bots crisis has been destroying the game for the past 5 years. If we remember the original SaveTF2 movement, it had a more positive tone, i. e., people talking about how much they love the game and pleading Valve to fix it. Well, one shitty tweet and two years later the tone has gone from "Please fix the game" to "FIX THE FUCKING GAME YOU ASSHOLES" and rightfully so.

CS2 also has a myriad of issues. CS:GO became CS2 after the game jumped to the Source 2 engine, but the resulting game, by many accounts, is a downgrade. A lot of game modes and maps from the original game were not included and are still not present as of June of 2024. Cheaters are rampant. To what degree I cannot say but it is to an extent where a significant enough portion of the player base is affected. Also, the game hasn't had an operation (major content update) since 2021. The player count is still high, but a lot voices in the community have been chewing out Valve for this level of incompetence.

With DOTA 2 I cannot say for sure. Some people talk about neglect whilst others say the game is in a decent state considering the game still gets frequent updates and patches. At most I can say that there is a portion of players that are dissatisfied with the state of the game but most likely to a much lesser extent than in the previous cases.

HOWEVER

All of that is just one part of the double whammy, the second part is probably is much worse than the first - a lack of continuity for Valve's legacy.

I mean, let's think about it for a second here: most of us who grew with the Valve classics are probably in our mid-to late twenties at this point. Of course, I'm not saying that there aren't any younger fans but the bulk is the old guard. I'm pretty sure a lot of kids and teenagers don't even know a lot about these games and it's not their fault, they weren't old enough to experience them. The blame lies SOLELY with Valve because they have done NOTHING to boost the visibility of their older series due to the fact that they haven't bothered to make a single proper sequel for any of them.

And speaking of visibility, Valve's advertising strategy is non - existent and downright insulting . They really have this holier-than-thou perception of themselves, where they think "I am THE Valve softworks, makers of TF2 and Half-Life! How could you NOT know of us?!?!" and then expect everyone else to spread news of their games through word-of-mouth. Like, I'm sorry, Gabe, but we don't owe you shit. I'm not gonna advertise your shitty card-game and upcoming mediocre 5v5 hero shooter just because I had fun playing TF2 back in high school. Like, it's no surprise that you're not gaining any new fans when this has been your modus operandi for the past 10 years.

TO CONCLUDE

This is where we are right now: the old guard is either apathetic or straight-up hates Valve for their negligence, the younger generation barely knows about most of Valve's OG game series due to the lack of any meaningful output. At the end of the day, Valve isn't going to bankrupt, they're gonna keep taking their 30% cut from Steam and peddling gambling addictions to kids via cases. However, the era of good will is over, nobody is cutting them any slack anymore and, frankly, they deserve all the shit that's going to get thrown at them.

[momos-servants]

Older Zukka fics (that are not on Ao3)

Hello there ! I’m obsessed with searching and finding older Zukka content as the show was coming out or buried Zukka content nobody seems to find. S/o @nvergonnajimout and @somethingfoamy for being curious.

This fic list is crazy because fanfic writing back then was… different. But I’ll tell y’all what’s in it. These are some fics that I actually ended up reading and got hooked.

Here’s da list

Dragon’s prey by ajj77subhawk.

Y’all this is just straight smut in some parts. I liked it tho because Zuko is like a spirit dragon thingy?? And it was Sokka-centric. But it has power dynamics definitely so if y’all are okay with all three of those things go for it. Honestly I was hooked the first chapter. I consider it well written for being a fanfic from 2007. But it is not like the classy AO3 literature y’all might be accustomed to. There’s 28 chapters.

FYI this was the one site I was like iffy to be on because I thought my phone was going to get a virus, but it didn’t! It’s a safe site (to my standard). This was the only lengthy fic on the Zukka section on the site, but if you want to explore you will find much more smutty Zukka fics.

Zuko Sokka fic by violet-plude

DeviantArt!!! I miss you.

Anyways this is a collection on one shots I believe? I only read chapter 1 and chapter 4, but both of them are cute. It could be read as a bromance if you want. You can definitely tell it’s DeviantArt literature, it’s so early 2010s I miss this era.

Spirit’s Eve by Captain Peregrine

Halloween festival fic!! Loved this one. I think anyone would love this lil oneshot lol.

Play Nice by Scuttlebutt inc

It’s a bromance fic, but you can read it as Zukka. It’s just them bonding and having fun with sparring.

Quiet by Usagi Youkai

Oneshot !!! It’s a lil over 1,000 words. This author is pretty good, they were definitely carrying Zukka on their back on fanfiction.net back in the day.

Fire Child by Usagi Youkai

So this is probably the biggest warning: it’s mpreg. Which is definitely not everybody’s taste. I was iffy but I still read it and it actually surprised me. There was not over femininzation of Sokka. If you like to read kidfics, this is a good one!! There’s like 3 other fics the author wrote connecting to this fic. There’s 25 chapters. It’s the whole classic cliché where one of them gets pregnant (Sokka) and hides it from the other (Zuko).

Just Let Go by SomniumAngel

If y’all love reading toxic fics, this is for you! It’s a one shot and a song fic.

What's In a Name? by Kalira69

This is actually the youngest fic on the list as it was published in 2017. It’s a soulmate oneshot. The dissection of written language is Chefs kiss.

-

Anyways these are the fics that I have found so far and enjoyed! If I find more, I’ll definitely make another post! :)

[ophiespeaks]

MY DRS!!!

Masterlist <3

(For inspiration, ideas, or just to get to know me!!! This is in no particular order btw, just the way they’re ordered in my Lifa App.)

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*Side note, I have a “waiting room��� dr too. It’s basically just a big movie theater but all the theater rooms are my different drs. But I’ve elected to not make a full section for it.*

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•1•

Dr Name: Hogwarts, 1991.

Universe/Basis: Harry Potter

Synopsis: Non-Canonical HP dr where I get to experience the magical world completely and fully with my favorite characters. There’s no war, no plot, and things have been changed to make it more desirable for me. IE: No Death Eaters/Voldemort, no one dies, etc. It’s basically just a boarding school dr with magic lol. It was my main dr for a long time and has a LOT of little things scripted in. Honestly, I’m still so in love with it and if I ever did permashift, it would probably be here.

———

•2•

Dr Name: Chosen One

Universe/Basis: Harry Potter

Synopsis: Canon-Adjacent dr where basically I’m Harry. Obviously he doesn’t exist in this dr because I’m obsessed with being the main character (/hj). Things have been scripted to not be so traumatizing and awful all the time, but will loosely follow a sort of plot to let me be the chosen one in a prophecy and basically the center of attention. There’s stakes and I don’t expect to shift here for long intervals because it seems stressful, but I’m shifting to third year with a pre-written backstory for the first two years. Again, not fully canon- certain characters don’t die and the war isn’t killing innocents etc. I just like attention.

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•3•

Dr Name: Lost

Universe/Basis: ABC’s Lost TV Series (2004)

Synopsis: Canon-Adjacent to the Lost TV series, without the um…trauma. Also people don’t die. It’s basically Survivor meets Real Housewives. I live for the drama tbh. Basically the plane crash leaves me stranded with strangers and I get to meet the characters. I don’t have a s/o but I’m looking to be an adoptive daughter figure to Sawyer because emotionally unavailable selfish assholes seem to be my father-figure go to for some reason.

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•4•

Dr Name: The 100

Universe/Basis: CW’s The 100

Synopsis: Heavily scripted but honestly it’s almost-canon to the events of seasons 1 and 2 of the 100, obviously not so traumatizing though. I’m basically using this as a teenage-run society dr or maybe like a huge camping trip dr lmao. None of the 100 die like in canon, and also because I have main character syndrome Clarke and therefore also Wells aren’t part of the original delinquent mission. My s/o is gonna be Bellamy Blake, and I have a few close friends in the 100/eventually the grounders. There’s a lot of drama lmao. Also, my dad is Markus Kane and my (adoptive) brother is Murphy and my whole backstory is so convoluted it needed rewritten multiple times to even be coherent lmao.

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•5•

Dr Name: Fame (Adult)

Universe/Basis: Better CR

Synopsis: Modern-set dr where I’m a famous actress/musician in my early twenties. I own a makeup/skincare company, as well as a non-profit community oriented foundation to teach kids the arts (acting, music, performance, dance, drawing, painting, etc.) but also hosting events and drives to give back to local communities. As for my professional career, I’m a part of some of my favorite movies/shows in my cr, as well as some movie ideas I had myself and made into a franchise in my DR. I’m basically the biggest IT girl and I’m like if Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, and Margot Robbie were a single person. Some of my films/shows, to name a few, are The VVitch, A Star Is Born, The Summer I Turned Pretty, and Barbie.

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•6•

Dr Name: Fame (Teen)

Universe/Basis: Better CR

Synopsis: An early 2010s dr, I’m a young teen actress and get to star in some of my favorite shows and movies from that time period, as well as some adaptations I thought up myself. My dad is Matthew Grey Gubler because he seems like he’d be such a cool dad, so I’m technically a Nepo baby. I play Dustin’s twin sister in Stranger Things, I play Annabeth Chase in an adaptation of PJO, I play Prim in The Hunger Games, I’m Coraline in a live action adapatation, and a few other roles that I have planned.

———

•7•

Dr Name: Assemble

Universe/Basis: MCU - Young Avengers

Synopsis: I’m Tony Stark’s daughter, all the OGs don’t die, and I’m in charge of the Young Avengers. I’ve adapted some comic book characters into new heroes, as well as adding known characters like Spider-man, America Chavez, Yelena (younger in my dr), Kate Bishop, etc. It’s basically like fanfic Avengers lmao. We all live in the compound in upstate New York, and sometimes other “characters” pop in to give us training lessons and stuff such as Stephen Strange or Wong, T’Challa, Bucky, Loki, etc. It seems so fun to just have a compound full of super powered/super-capable teenagers tbh. A nightmare for my dad tho.

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•8•

Dr Name: The Olympian

Universe/Basis: MCU

Synopsis: A more canon-reliant take on an MCU dr, where I join the original Avengers back in 2011. I’m basically a greek demigoddess capable of minor feats of magic, but through being a hero I’m eventually granted full godhood (like Hercules/Heracles in the myths) for my efforts. Fighting villains and hearing the hero drama seems so interesting. Honestly, I’ll probably be less involved in this dr than my Assemble dr, but this one’s still cool if only for my backstory here alone lol.

———

•9•

Dr Name: The Games

Universe/Basis: The Hunger Games

Synopsis: Basically not canon at all lmao. I don’t want to kill anyone, that’s insane. Basically, the districts still exist (though people aren’t starving or anything) and “The Games” are basically just a big game show held in the Capitol and the winner gets money, fame, etc. This dr is loosely based off of the prequel, the ballad of songbirds and snakes, so there’s *technically* Coriolanus Snow as my love interest/mentor, but his character is so different that it’s basically not even him- I just find Tom Blythe attractive is all. Also Sejanus Plinth is my bbygirl he deserved so much better.

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•10•

Dr Name: Camp Halfblood

Universe/Basis: PJO

Synopsis: Non-Canon pjo dr. I’m a child of Zeus (I need to be the main character so bad ig. Also, I need to have an absent/terrible biological father apparently?? minus tony tho 🫶) and I’m the only one in the Zeus Cabin. There’s no quests and we’re genuinely just trained over the summer and allowed to either stay or go to school for the rest of the year. It’s basically a summer camp dr but with a little magic and stuff here and there. Percy, Grover, Annabeth, etc. are all my age and eventually Percy will be my s/o because clueless boys of unimaginable power are just so babygirl to me i guess.

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•11•

Dr Name: Bridgerton

Universe/Basis: Netflix’s Bridgerton TV series

Synopsis: Mostly canon, with a few more added families and such. My own background is also a royalty dr- I’m the princess of Norway undercover as the distant relative of Lady Danbury, and I’ve got a few completely made-up love interests because no one in the show is really in my age range??? I mean some are close, like Colin, but he’s in love with Penelope so idk. I just want fancy dresses and huge parties and high society drama tbh.

———

•12•

Dr Name: The Walking Dead

Universe/Basis: AMC’s The Walking Dead TV series

Synopsis: HEAVILY SCRIPTED!!! I don’t want my people to die obviously. Zombies/walkers can’t actually hurt us and everyone smells good oof. No cannibals bc ew, it’s basically a found family dr with zombies. I/we won’t have to kill people!!! Both Daryl and Rick are sort of father figures to me, and my love interests include a few people such as Carl, Enid, Ron, and Kelly (I love Kelly sm) and the later seasons are changed to be better to live in and everything’s not constantly falling apart. Also, basically scripting out all of the Negan drama and most stuff after it, because absolutely not.

———

•13•

Dr Name: BrBa

Universe/Basis: AMC’s Breaking Bad TV series

Synopsis: LISTEN!!! I just think it would be fun to fuck around in this dr tbh. I’m a high-end dealer (drugs don’t kill people and don’t have a bad effect on people either) and I just want to go to lavish parties and commit high end crimes. I think Walter White is funny as hell unintentionally and Jesse Pinkman seems like the coolest person to just hang out with (at least in the first few seasons of the show.) Obviously, it’s not even remotely canon and doesn’t follow the actual plot. I also won’t spent too much time here. Like I said, it’s just to mess around in. It’s absolutely not serious nor is it a place i’d want to be for long.

———

•14•

Dr Name: Narnia

Universe/Basis: The Chronicles of Narnia (films)

Synopsis: Golden Age Narnia? Ruling a magical country, marrying my best friend (Peter), leading people, being highly respected by my court? The whole thing sounds like a fairytale. It’s basically a royalty dr but with magic. Medieval times but, as with all my non-modern drs, I script modern amenities because if I don’t have toilet paper and indoor plumbing I’m gonna scream and cry. I also love the canon Pevensie siblings and their personalities I want to meet them all so bad. Also, Peter Pevensie was my first crush ever, as an fyi.

———

•15•

Dr Name: LIS

Universe/Basis: Netflix’ Lost In Space reboot

Synopsis: Canon/mostly canon with fun additions and workarounds. Adoptive/found family dynamics. I get to be a super cool badass with yet another adoptive father figure while exploring alien planets and getting to be besties with penny robinson (i’m forever a penny defender- i love forgotten, “unwanted” middle child archetypes) and getting to meet a literal 7 foot tall alien robot is gonna be SO cool are you kidding me???

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•16•

Dr Name: Stardew Valley

Universe/Basis: Stardew Valley (video game)

Synopsis: CUTE FARMING DR!!! There’s twelve canonical love interests but i’m considering adding a few more options/people in general for funsies. Basically I want to have my little farm and my little animals and run around town and meet people and go to the beach and it’s gonna be so fun i’m so excited for it. I’ve actually considered it for my “waiting room” sort of place, because only the valley itself and like three other places even really exist in canon soooo but idk. (also considering scripting johnnie guilbert as sebastian bc 🤭🤭🤭)

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•17•

Dr Name: Gravity Falls

Universe/Basis: Gravity Falls

Synopsis: Teenage dr, not canon reliant but with weird occurrences and mysteries going on all around. The twins and their friends are older but most of the other characters stay the same age. Instead of having a complicated backstory I straight up just tell Stan I shifted and he’s unbothered because he literally watched his brother get sucked into a portal and fist-fought a pterodactyl so not much can phase him anymore ig.

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•18•

Dr Name: Summer Ship

Universe/Basis: Better Cr

Synopsis: Um this one’s completely made up by me, hi. Basically me and some of my dr friends are working on a private yacht for the summer. We only work like four hours a day, get paid WAY too much tbh, and then spend the weekends/after work hours getting to live on this huge ass rich people yacht that we’re allowed to go crazy on. It’s sailing the mediterranean so it doubles as a travel dr, where I get to see places like Greece, Rome, Venice, etc. when we dock and go inland. I’m so unbelievably stoked about this one tbh.

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•19•

Dr Name: Smosh

Universe/Basis: Better Cr

Synopsis: This one’s kinda embarrassing ngl 💀 so basically, the Youtube channel Smosh is this whole big brand that’s like an office completely oriented on making fun videos, sketch comedy, playing board games, etc. and it looks SO fun to work there. Some of the people in videos/crew behind the scenes seem like genuinely nice people so basically it’s a better cr dr where I just work there too, and I’m a little older lol. Like obviously it’s a job like anywhere else, but a lot of the time their job is fart jokes and playing games.

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•20•

Dr Name: Sword AF

Universe/Basis: Smosh - DnD Campaign

Synopsis: If I thought the last one was embarrassing, this takes the cake lmao. So, Smosh runs a dnd campaign where four of them play characters and then the dm plays a bunch of npcs. I’ve scripted myself as a fantasy character to explore the dr world based off of the dnd campaign’s world. Interacting with real people who are the characters my friends play in a different dr lmao. But an ancient giant wooden robot, a blue goblin, a gay elf, and a horny older halfling lady are MY comfort characters, okay! It’s a dnd dr, based off of the Sword AF campaign.

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•21•

Dr Name: A:TLA

Universe/Basis: Nickelodeon’s Avatar Cartoon

Synopsis: guys i LOVE avatar omg. uncle iroh singing little soldier boy can make me cry on command to this day. In this dr, I’m a fire bender runaway living in Omashu. I also scripted different fire nation “countries,” like how the earth kingdom has sort of different governments set-up throughout or how the water tribes have the two separate tribes on either pole. I’m from an island tribe and because I like attention, I’m a princess in that kingdom. This dr is mostly canon??? It was a cartoon so not too much traumatizing stuff happened anyways, but there are certainly some…questionable moments.

———

Honorable Mentions

(drs that i *technically* have, but have put little to no thought into the actual context of and i currently have no desire to actively shift to, just future possibilities)

-“Dog Days,” a Diary of a Wimpy Kid dr (i am down BAD for rodrick heffley)

-BAU/criminal minds dr (i have no idea how i’d POSSIBLY script this to not be traumatic so for now it’s not even really a dr, just a place i may want to go???)

-“Safety” dr (without too much detail, I’m a kid again and live in a valley home with my favorite people, with neighbor kids and the whole place is filled with flowers and it’s always summer. basically just a stress-free dreamland.)

-Sam and Colby dr. (ghost hunting but i’m a medium + getting up to some utter tomfoolery in a youtuber house)

-Daybreak dr based off of the netflix show (societies run by teenagers AND zombie survival found family drs seem to be a favorite of mine, and this is both)

-“Hawkins” dr, basically stranger things without any strange things (no way am i facing a demogorgan head on, let ALONE vecna or the mind flayer are you KIDDING???)

-The Walking Dead (game), (I love Clementine so much) (I honestly might just script twdg characters into my main twd dr so I don’t have to have multiple, idk yet)

-“Royal University,” yet another royalty dr bc i’m self obsessed ig, (made up royalty heirs in a college dr)

-Hogwarts, 1971 (undecided/not scripted marauders era dr. obsessed with andrew garfield as remus lupin.)

-Hogwarts, 2011 (undecided dr of the golden-trio era’s kids from the series epilogue/*minor* elements of cursed child, teddy lupin gets to live with his parents bc i WILL start crying)

-Youtuber Dr, (Making horror content/horror-themed video essays, will be in the same sort of circle as Wendigoon, the Lore Lodge, Loey Lane, Nexpo, etc.)

-Various short-term drs to figure out what happened at certain instances in my cr. I kind of think of them as “fly on the wall” drs just for me to be in a location to fully understand what happened there. Mainly, cold cases/unexplained events. (Jonbenet Ramsey, mothman bridge incident, phoenix lights, dyatlov pass, and several missing 411 cases mostly.)

-Cool History dr, where I can go see cool historical moments for myself from my cr. such as the building of the pyramids, the library of alexandria, the “resurrection of jesus” (since he was a real person), woodstock, stonewall, etc.

———

I am always accepting more dr ideas, tbh. Any piece of media I consume is free real estate for a dr if we’re being so fr.

[dear-ao3]

Bucket!

you did encourage the camera angles, soooo

this is more opinion but there are some facts in here if you count the mild history of cameras in F1 as facts.

F1’s main problem with cameras (imo) is that they really want to “keep people in the action” which they’ve done by keeping cars in the direct center of your screen all the times, and putting cameras at sections with wider angles of view. This is nice, because the sort of limited camera angles from before made it occasionally difficult to keep track of race action.

HOWEVER

They sort of swapped to this wide, central shot style, instead of implementing it. One thing F1 did really well was letting you feel and understand the power of these cars, even through a TV screen. The camera whipped around to follow Raikkonen absolutely sending his car through Eau Rouge (absolute madlad btw) or the Schumacher brothers chasing each other through that wide right hander in Silverstone. The cars felt fast, they felt close, and a lot of that was due to the very stationary cameras relatively close to the track, and the fact that the operators didn’t seem to feel the need to adjust the zoom angle every microsecond to keep the car perfectly centered on your TVs screen. Like sure, I couldn’t see all the pretty sponsor logos, or maybe I didn’t always catch the honestly fascinating front or rear wings of the 2000s (next up on the fact list?), but that was part of the magic. The cars were screaming past so quickly you could hardly keep them in frame at all.

This started going away in the 2010s. By 2020 it was nearly gone completely, and watching races just felt sort of stagnant: no matter how fast I knew Hamilton and Vettel were throwing themselves through every corner, they always seemed to be moving at the same speed.

But things are starting to change.

New cams like the ones on front wings, on/inside driver helmets, and the saving grace of the mid-season camera development upgrades (lol), the gyro cam. These are SO COOL, and the gyro cam in particular feels FAST, I think because the mildly warped field of view makes the motion blur heavier while still keeping that crisp video quality we’ve come to expect from modern cameras, combined with the defining feature of it rolling with the horizon as the car experienced angle changes itself.

Also just angles in general, like the ones at the Monaco pool chicane and tunnel, and some of the ones at Singapore this year, they just bring back that close-to-the-track action.

Interestingly, if you go back and watch recordings from the 1970s and 80s, you’ll notice they actually had some of these. The onboard cameras back then were genuinely exciting, and I watch them all the time. I’d recommend that any F1 fan do that, even if just to see the evolution of driving styles and cars. 

I think F1 is finally listening to fans saying they liked the more stationary cameras, the wild onboards, stuff like that. You can feel the speed of the cars like back in the 2000’s and early 2010’s.

mildly considering starting a bucket blog ngl but also the anon-bucket-question is fun what do you think

BUCKET!!!!

this is really cool. i had not thought about the camera angles before but now that you mention it....yeah youre fucking RIGHT!!!! and yes the gyro camera was fucking cool i loved it it was wonderful and insane.

alternatively i like sometimes when the camera angle shows one of the cameras on the edge of the screen WHIPPING around to capture the car (tho a shame that we dont get that angle).

10/10 as usual. i patiently await more facts :)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta for telling my friend i dont want to hear about one of his interests?

simple enough. we're both early 20's guys. he's really into these youtubers (wont say who out of privacy but theyre a large duo. used to be much more popular in the 2010s) and whenever hes drunk he always wants to show me clips of them and i go along and watch them with him.

i hate these two youtubers. like a lot. i used to like them when i was younger but watching them now 1) brings back bad childhood memories and 2) they just arent funny to me. not even like a "boring un-funny" but a "im cringing in my seat" un-funny. one im kinda fine with but the other is just super annoying. very loud and just seems like a genuine asshole.

wibta if i told him i dont want to hear about them? i dont want to be rude but it really dampens my mood when he talks about them/wants me to watch them. i feel bad asking him to not tell me abt them bc i like showing him a steamer i really like even though we mututally like the streamer (he introduced me to the streamer). i have pretty bad social anxiety so im not sure if this is me being selfish or just setting a boundry.

What are these acronyms?

[ofallthingsnasty]

been thinkin about mouth inspections at the dentist (with our faves). Isn’t there a way to tell if you’ve given bjs before? Like there’s an indent in the roof of your mouth or something? Since you have experience in dentistry, i thought I might ask💀

Perhaps dentist fave pokes around in your mouth and finds that spot, asking all sorts of gross questions, who’ve you done it with? how many have you given? and then forces you on your knees, explaining the whole time what he’s doing to that spot in your mouth as he brutalizes your throat. Law or Doffy would be the worst for it. Doffy wouldn’t be able to control himself and Law would be so calm and collected, it would be scary

Yes, but only hard and recent blowjobs - there can be petechiae on your palate!! (Think tiny red spots) We don't care, though ajsjjksk and as always THIS IS FICTIONAL OFC I DON'T ENDORSE THIS AJSKKS

The mental image of 'big dick Doflamingo's everything but mostly expensive implants mill'-dental office is sending me. Baby 5 not-so-subtly chewing gum behind her mask while she makes you wait in the chair. Him coming in half an hour late (you've been nervous and sweating the whole damn time and the radio is blasting nothing but shitty early 2010s pop which doesn't help), clearly fresh from some break and not a difficult procedure, showing you just how much he doesn't care about you. He fucking reeks of cologne. Light pink scrubs that fit him so well it's not even funny. Has a weirdly delicate gold chain around his neck that really emphasizes the way his pecs puff up before connecting with his collarbone. It kind of makes you want to fall into his... well, his cleavage. (Because of course he chooses scrubs with a rather unorthodox neckline - who's going to tell him off? He's the boss. Sometimes he comes in wearing polo shirts in that same pink tone and they're always, always a little too tight.)

He throws himself into his little chair so hard it skids right up to you and he just smiles as a greeting, porcelain-white veneers blinding you for a moment, before he puts his mask up (also pink, it's a whole fucking theme here). It's all pretty standard, Baby 5's clearly fake nails clicker-clacker away at the keyboard while he lists off your dental status - until he gets to the soft tissue, especially your palate.

tw. crack treated seriously + noncon = the combo from hell, medical malpractice, Law is in here too, as a separate listing (same tags for him + hypnosis), minors dni, don't take this too seriously i had too much fun writing this it's so silly, dental hypno doesn't work like this don't worry lol

Well, that's certainly an eyebrow raiser. Looks like little old unassuming you has a bit of a wild side. He can tell you know your stuff by how big and angry-red the bruise on your mucosa is. You've been a patient of his for a long time now - and other that the fact that you pretty much look like you're about to faint every time your ass touches the chair, you've been rather forgettable (but cute, he has to admit). He can tell you don't like the way he fingers around your mouth one bit - and that you're waiting for his final evaluation, taut like a bowstring. You're probably pissing your pants at the thought of getting some major work done. He knows your type and nudges his fingers just a little farther down your throat, to your uvula, just to see how trained your gag reflex is (and to keep you anxious for just a few seconds longer, it's just too precious).

You don't even blink. Others would have coughed up their breakfast by now but you're sitting there, eyes teary and face worried. Would you look at that. It's good he's wearing his mask or else you'd be able to see that he's poking out his tongue because he's smiling so hard - you're suddenly in his top ten patients, right next to all the big bucks and two or three genuinely interesting cases. And oh, he's getting ideas with the way you fidget under his gaze. You wouldn't tattle. You wouldn't even fight back. My, you're perfect for a little lunch time fun.

Baby 5 is out of the room with a single gesture, closes the door behind her with a distinctive click. She won't bother him either, she'll just go hide in the break room and text her newest boyfriend until someone scrapes her out of there again. And you? You're already anxiously waiting for his diagnosis, fearing the worst. Oh, he'll give you the worst. It's delicious to see your face go from nervous to absolutely crestfallen as he spins some tall tale about how need to get big work done on two molars, how bad it already is and how you probably should opt for implants (his specialty, after all. And so expensive he just knows you'll do just about anything to save a little money.) Of course, you trust him. And of course, you agree for him to go with the 'best' (and coincidentally most expensive) option, even when you're clearly fighting back tears at the price. He tells you to lay back, brings the chair to the highest, horizontal position and overstretches the neck so that your mouth is in a perfect line with your throat. It's unpleasant how the blood from the rest of your body is cut off from your head in this position, how the whole room is suddenly overhead and that damn light is shining straight into your eyes. It's supposed to give him a better look at your upper teeth - but when you open your eyes to his fucking dick of all things and him telling you that you want that treatment cheap, don't you?, you learn that not everyone has your best interest in mind. (Sadly, you don't even get to answer because he just shoves himself into you and fucks the protest right out of your oesophagus.) When he's done with you, your whole face is full of spit and mucus and you probably lost consciousness at least once - turns out not enough perfusion for your brain coupled with extreme anxiety and someone gripping your throat to fuck it better isn't exactly the healthiest thing in the world.

Honestly, you'll try so hard not to go back after that experience, you really do. Problem is, you gave them your mobile number when you first signed over your data - and just two days later you'll get a barrage of texts in finest text speak anno 2004, with a million of 😜🤞😂🦩 emojis asking you about the state of your throat and if you still want that follow-up. Cheapest set of dental implants you'll ever get, honestly. You only have to sell him your dignity.

Law on the other hand... All prim and proper in starched white, medical professional through and through, yet so gentle - has a whole concept around dental phobic patients, with warm and welcoming treatment rooms, gentle music, offers laughing gas, hypnosis and even general anesthesia if the fear is especially bad. Always professional and never condescending or infanitilizing (like some can be when it comes to phobic patients). He's a dentist, a doctor, the authority in this place but he guides with a gentle hand - and people adore him.

You've been his patient for a while now - and he can't lie, he really likes you. You've been a dream to work with despite your anxiety; have endured every session bravely, you hang onto every word he says with big, wet eyes. He makes a suggestion - you take it. No matter the cost, the time, how outlandish the approach might be, you're always willing, nod your head yes and try to tough it out. You're somewhat soggy, almost whiny but that's okay. It's kind of cute, really. So when he sees those telltale red spots on your palate, he's a little surprised... You come across as so meek while on the chair, it's hard to picture you as anything else outside of it. But clearly, you're either an extremely attentive lover or you're wilder than he thought. Honestly, he's almost pouting over this revelation. Who are you fucking? Even if the sentiment is inappropriate, it should be him - at least that's what his little crush on you whispers to him deep, deep down. He mills over it a little too long, long enough for you to try to speak around his fingers in your mouth - there you go again, asking him (and so politely, too) if there is something, anything? And to his shame, all he can think about is if this is how your tongue feels like when you're using it. The way you slur against his hand, that warm and entirely too inviting mouth so close yet so far - it's giving him some shameful, shameful ideas. What harm is in a little test drive - especially when you've been proven to respond well to hypnosis. He has just enough time to rope you into a little session, as well. So he pulls a face behind the mask and explains that yes, actually, you have a little cavity - a teeny tiny thing that could be filled so easily right now, if you have the time for it. The way you immediately tense up underneath him isn't lost to him. God, you hate surprises, he knows that, and he's being so, so selfish - but it's too late to take back his words now.

He can practically watch the thoughts form in your brain, can see how you valiantly try to fight down the panic over a surprise dental procedure. But, as always, you swallow the lie hook, line and sinker. And when you ask him if he can use hypnosis on you again, he knows he's won this round. It's not ideal - you're already upset over this whole situation and to get you into that relaxed state is going to be a lot of work, but he knows you well enough by now. A sentence here, a soothing word there, gentle encouragement wrapped around it all like a bow - the moment you've let go, he can simply pull his pants down and force himself into your mouth, that's how far away you'll be. Of course, you aren't as active as he wants you to be, but the thrill and novelty of the situation is more than enough for him. The thought of marking you like this, to cum right down you throat without you or the ominous other person fucking you knowing, is more arousing than he'd like to admit. Maybe he has to stroke himself to completion (because your slack lips around him are far from enough) but his orgasm builds up quickly and hits him hard. He can already feel that pesky sense of guilt nagging away at him the moment he collects his breath - but he cleans you up and fixes your rumpled clothes and shoves all those bad feelings into some far away corner of his mind.

Your numb jaw is easily explained away, as is that horrible taste in your mouth - and he did give you a filling, after all, so hey, the lie isn't that bad, right?

(Law totally did his junior time at Doffy's terrible implant money grub mill and then vowed to himself that he'll never ever ever become like that. Well, that kinda sorta didn't work out, huh?)

[blazehedgehog]

Man, that's crazy and unfortunate what happened to that level designer on Sonic Heroes. Is there a source for those stories you could share?

Unfortunately it came from a Game Informer interview on their website back in 2016. Thanks to the efforts of Gamestop, everything about Game Informer was basically wiped from the internet about a little over a week ago.

Digging around a bit I found this Wayback Machine post for the article, titled "Where Sonic Went Wrong", written by Brian Shea.

Iizuka recalls the development cycle of Sonic Heroes, the first multiplatform mainline Sonic console game, as the most stressful of his career, in part thanks to deadlines. He was based in the United States while the rest of the development team was in Japan, and mismanagement took its toll on the team. "The level design for Sonic Heroes was made by two people: me and one other person," he says. "As we got to the later stages of development, this other person got pretty sick and didn't show up to work, so level design was made by one person! So for those very last stages of the game, I didn't sleep at all and I was constantly working. I lost about [22 pounds] because I was just cranking away and it was just work, work, work. I didn't sleep because I had to finish the game on my own. Almost dying!"

From what I've heard, this isn't the first time somebody has mentioned this about Sonic Heroes, just the first time in an English interview.

For the other information:

The information about Sonic 2 comes in the wake of Hirokazu Yasuhara's Digital Dragons talk in 2017, where he revealed a significantly different and more ambitious early design for Sonic 2 that was scrapped in favor of something they could do faster and easier.

The information about Sonic 3 comes from the Hidden Palace dump of a Sonic 3 prototype. The creation date on their prototype is maybe three months before its retail release and the state of the game at that point can charitably be described as a disaster, something their news post explains thanks to information provided by the person who offered the prototype.

Sonic Adventure 2 being made by half the people in half the time is original research by me. Sonic Team is on record that the 3D Sonic World in Sonic Jam was a prototype for Sonic Adventure on the Sega Saturn, putting development of SA1 starting around late 1996 or early 1997. If you count from there to when the finishing touches were put on the International (American) release of SA1, that gives it a development time of around 2-3 years. SA2's development started probably around December of 1999, and came out in June of 2001, making for a development time of 18 months. You can compare developer numbers yourself using Mobygames. (Shoutouts to The Golden Bolt for also looking down a similar path.)

Similarly, just look at the production credits for Shadow the Hedgehog, CTRL+F, and search for "Takashi Iizuka"

After Shadow in 2005, Takashi Iizuka was no longer an active developer on the Sonic series for the next five or six games, mostly relegated to distant "supervisor", "concept" and "special thanks" roles. Instead, he worked on NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams, another game Sega jerked him around on. He came back to the Sonic franchise and started doing press again midway through the development of Sonic Colors in 2010.

Sonic Unleashed being expensive comes from, to my memory, an IGN Developer Diary that's impossible to find nowadays, where the director admits one of the producers at Sega pitched the Werehog as a way to slow players down and appreciate all the effort they put into environment art. Also they literally developed a whole entire rendering engine just for that game, of course it was expensive.

Here's a 2009 post mentioning a "Sonic Anniversary" leak from Sega's FTP. Details are fuzzy, but a Sega Spain leak a year later clarified that "Sonic Anniversary" was a game coming to Wii, DS, PSP, and PS3. A (physically) broken prototype of Sonic Anniversary for the PSP reveals a very early version of what would become Sonic Generations for the 3DS. And given how much content is shared between Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations, it's not hard to connect the dots between Colors being built from the proposed Wii version of "Anniversary" (Generations). There may be a more direct source for this straight from the horse's mouth, but I can't find it right now.

Morio Kishimoto was a game designer for Secret Rings and Black Knight, his first games for Sega, and got promoted to Director for Sonic Colors where he's stayed ever since. He mentioned not being a part of Sonic Forces at first, but was brought in to get the game back on track, and the game's troubled development is corroborated by Takashi Iizuka in the liner notes for the Sonic Forces soundtrack.

You can compare the metacritic for Secret Rings and Sonic 06 to see just how much more favorably Secret Rings was received, despite both games coming out less than six months apart.

Here's an archived IGN interview from 2007 with Yojiro Ogawa describing how Secret Rings was split off from the development resources of Sonic 06. Exact dates would be fuzzy, but it's easy to assume the entire game was developed in less than a year.

Here's a 2010 Eurogamer interview where Takashi Iizuka (not Kishimoto, whoops) says Sonic Colors is a Sonic game meant to appeal to Mario fans.

As for Sonic Lost World being Sonic Colors 2, my source on that is "I mean, just look at it."

(For people many years in the future, this post is in response to this.)

[batsplat]

I think this should be a fun one for you: rank 00’s-early 2010’s spanish atp tennis players from most beloved/underrated/least beloathed to your most behated.

I love when you’re mean about atp 🥰

incredible hater ask. love to see that me just endlessly lobbing potshots at male tennis players has finally found an audience. the inclusion criteria for this list is extremely vibes-based - they need to have had some of their career-best results in the 00's or early 2010s and I can't primarily associated them with 90's or 2020's. so no moya or alcaraz... rba marginal inclusion but not pcb. (ramos vinolas would've come top but he just... didn't really get going until late 2010s.) cut-off is top twenty peak ranking. so let's go

MOST BELOVED/UNDERRATED/LEAST BELOATHED

bautista agut: horse girl!! horse girl!!! a bit of a journey of how I learned to stop worrying and love the pusher. I've occasionally had a slightly troubled history with the guy, not least because sometimes it does feel like he crawls out of the woodwork literally just to piss me off? like, I'm sorry, check out this string of results from last year (I've conveniently highlighted the irritating result)

first time since JANUARY he'd strung together back-to-back match wins. feels a little personal!!

beyond spawning out of nowhere to hand medvedev a yearly defeat, he has also been done a fair bit of torturing of murray. that 2022 match at doha with the foul scoreline... that being said, if you're a fan of a high-ranked player it is extremely poor form to be too annoyed by this kind of thing. medvedev should maybe consider stop losing to inferior pushers and even at the time I did find it pretty funny, rolled my eyes but fundamentally idc that much about how he does in halle. and I am obviously a big supporter of pushing... rba is quite an un-spanish players in some ways - doesn't play with a lot of spin, not bad at clay but it's not where he shines. idk I'm a big fan of pushers, rba has been a stalwart representative of the pushing lifestyle on the atp tour, he's kind of in that gilles simon camp where I was always happy enough to put on a match with them in it. and y'know, he seems like a nice enough guy. a fixture of the atp tour who I'm just kinda fond of

ferrer: always felt kinda sorry for him. destined to be #2 spaniard forevermore. thing is, with his game, you do have to say he didn't massively underachieve - like in a way a slam final is a pretty impressive showing. he's not one of the players TO ME where it feels super painful they never won a slam, even though arguably he's had a better career than some of the guys I'd put in that camp. funny how that works out!! I actually quite like ferrer's game, it's very bread and butter, spanish clay court style... and y'know, I grew up on clay, it's probably still my favourite surface all things considered, and we did always joke about the grinding from ten metres behind the baseline thing. I respect it. gets annoying when someone is nadal-levels good, but ferrer is very much not that so I quite enjoyed watching him play. idk, I did always vaguely like those second tier players during the big four era - childhood nostalgia of watching them in a bunch of slam matches without my negative feelings towards the big three. he's not my favourite of those, but he's all right. just quite inoffensive really

costa: oh man, I just don't really have any particularly strong feelings towards this guy. I think it's pretty funny how he won a slam and does just reflect where the clay game was at for a few years before nadal, like none of the post kuerten pre nadal rg winners were particularly serious characters. still, beating ferrero in that 2002 final is something I will gladly applaud, especially absolutely walloping him in the first two sets. this is very firmly before my time and perhaps a year or so before I even held my first tennis racquet as a kid, and while I obviously have quite a few past players I have strong feelings about... costa is not one of them. he is not actively offensive to me, let's put it that way (which I retroactively realised I'd put for two players in a row, but I'll leave it because it's funny that this is how I classify spanish players)

verdasco: now, look. verdasco doesn't hate nadal, but I am more than happy to do so on his behalf. I wasn't a sentient enough person yet in 2009 to have particularly sophisticated takes on the tragic inevitability of sports narratives, but if I HAD been I think I would've gone insane at some point during That Australian Open Match. basically redlined for hours and it still wasn't enough, never reached another slam semi, just kinda sucks man. (not that it matters but I'm glad he did at least manage to beat nadal in five at ao 2016 in the first round, just for the vibes.) I do also have a fair bit of sympathy for him over the two month doping ban he got in 2022 for failing to renew the therapeutic exemption thingy he had for his adhd medication - that was just so obviously a case of someone not really doping and tbh a lot of people (including some players!!) were pretty cruel about that shit

all that being said, can't say I've ever particularly been a fan. idk he was just one of those vaguely frustrating players to me who theoretically had a lot to their game but never was quite... on it enough. I do like some players who build their games around big booming forehands, but it's not really what I've ever gravitated towards. I think we have now reached the part of the list where most of these guys get a bit of a nadal tax. as in, I've seen them pal around with nadal, it has been forced in front of my eyeballs, and I simply do not support that kind of behaviour. (true of ferrer too but he has just about enough accumulated good will to be ranked higher up.) it's nothing personal, it's just that they're associated with nadal in my mind. I don't like it

robredo: is it bad if I say I got him confused with verdasco as a kid. too many spaniards. well, first off, go watch the valencia 2014 final against murray (I got a kia ad for nadal when I tried to open this video which ramped up my internal haterism for what is to come). what people sometimes forget about this horrifically painful final is that it was the second time in like?? a few weeks?? where he was playing murray in a final... I think he blew five matchpoints in both which. ouch. anyway the point is that valencia match is great - and unlike when the big three inflict horrendously painful defeats on their opponents, this was good and moral and fun. robredo was probably the most... invisible of this lot, if that's not too mean. his biggest contribution to tennis history is defeating federer once and only once at the 2013 us open, ensuring that federer and nadal wouldn't play - which ensured they never played at the us open which means it is an incomplete and quite frankly fraudulent rivalry. they missed out by one match on six occasions. the list of players who stopped them reads murray, djokovic, del potro and.... robredo. a hero tbh

other robredo thoughts... I mean, he was a bit top twenty filler if we're being honest. the thing where he won three consecutive slam matches from two sets to love down was pretty neat. he's basically ferrer but worse. I rank him at basically the same level as verdasco but I remember more verdasco matches than robredo so. there we are

ferrero: okay. look. I'm aware some of this might be coloured by my extreme irritation at his presence in alcaraz's coaching box these last few years. man will simply not shut up. I can't help it - sometimes this stuff colours my opinions on someone

(not a player but the swiftest downfall in this regard has been darren cahill, who had a base fondness for as 'notable agassi coach' that he's steadily pissed away in this sinner partnership. zero respect for how he dumped anisimova so soon after she hired him because he just couldn't handle the strains of travel, throwing himself a pity party... before almost immediately linking up with sinner. a tangent irrelevant to this post but I just needed to get that in there!!)

I get that coaching's legal now!! and I am NOT a conspiracy theorist about the timing of that change happening right during the golden boy's rise to the top, but!! it's still obviously been pretty convenient, like surely the umpires could not have ignored that for all that much longer lol. and I hate the rule change, idc how little practical use it is - it's antithetical to the spirit of tennis. I know coaching happened before then too but it makes a difference if you have to at least be sly about it (not that this guy ever really was). also beyond my principled opposition, he's just annoying. it's annoying. I'm sick of his face by now. get him off my screen

but to rewind twenty years, it's still aggravating that his one and only slam came at the cost of what would have been one of the all-time great slam fairy tale runs. it should have been verkerk!! ik that it wasn't even particularly close, I don't care. verkerk also just had a more compelling run to the final - sure jcf beat defending champion costa but he wasn't in particular good form, and verkerk took out both moya and coria. some random dutch bloke took out former champion moya in five sets... should have gotten the title. I'm sure you'll be delighted to know the match is indeed on youtube. isn't this cool:

don't you want to root for this guy!!

anyway yeah idk you're a top player for years you win one slam and THAT is how you won it? by stomping on a fairy tale? the counter-argument is that jcf SHOULD have won in 2002 but, well. just an awful performance wasn't it. like I know I said I like grinders and chokers but the first two sets of the first slam final you compete in being 1-6 0-6... hm. idk man. just don't think he was a good enough player to have earned a slam or indeed to have been number one, and in that case I would prefer the fairy tale slam. I will say he was an underrated hard court player, but yeah just didn't like his playstyle. a lot of these spaniards are way too big on their forehands. and I cannot forgive his role in blighting the game with another spanish prodigy. we're just never going to be free

lopez: okay, look, admittedly the fact that he seemed so close to nadal didn't make me particularly keen on him, but it's more than that!! another one where his activities post-retirement have hardly done much to endear him to me. I do unironically loathe this guy for his work running the madrid open, I think he's an incompetent sexist cunt who needs to be kept far away from women's tennis as possible. these last couple of years have made me more and more furious about the current situation with women's tennis - the game is in an excellent place but it might as well be being sabotaged by the people who are supposed to promote it. it's disgraceful he is still even in the job after the women's doubles finalists were prevented from speaking during the trophy ceremony, and it's as good a demonstration as you're going to get of the wta's luck of power. just makes me sad man

also, I never liked him as a player. idk man hating's not rational but I'm trying to come up with something I feel like I can defend a bit more than 'I was sick of people talking about how attractive this guy was to women'. but well, I was! oh wow, he's a heartthrob?? you think he's good-looking?? you want to make a joke about how he makes the ladies swoon?? original! never heard it before! look, I support straight women in their lifestyle choices even if they differ from my own, but more than anything else I just find this shit cringe. 'deliciano' is cringe. calling a bloke vain can be a pretty charged insult, but in this case I stand by it - shallow man with shallow tennis. just this gross macho energy that I personally have always found off-putting. he's also a commentators' pet where they want him to unlock his inner potential and become the player he could be with all that talent inside of him... literally shut up

nadal: if nadal has a million haters, I am one of them. if nadal has five haters, I am one of them. if nadal has one hater, that is me. if nadal has no haters, then I am no longer alive. if the word supports nadal then I am against the world

I ended up writing paragraphs and paragraphs worth of why I hate him for One Match Specifically but then I realised that wasn't really part of the remit for a jokey hater post and was also getting a wee bit TOO earnest and emotional. it has been cut out but lmk if you want to read an extended scream into the abyss I suppose lol

anyway! my number one enemy. djokovic might be the worst of the big three on moral grounds, federer's whole aesthetic and vibe is horrendous, but as an actual tennis player? oh, nadal, they could never make me like you. instinctively the least appealing playstyle... I love watching djokovic move around the court, even I can appreciate clean federer hitting. nadal is just... well, look, I'm not a forehand girl. and when I AM a forehand girl, I tend to like mine a bit flatter. penetrating. I can appreciate nadal's forehand is a great shot, but it doesn't really do much for me. all the good and appealing parts of nadal's game... low key are better from djokovic. the athleticism, the counterpunching, high margin game etc. if I want this stuff, I go to djokovic. also, look, I don't like the grunting - but what I really don't like is how completely accepted it is to hound wta players for grunting while nobody bats an eyelid when nadal sounds like a flock of seagulls is dying in his throat every single point. and I get that the double standards aren't exactly his fault, but you know what is his fault? his repeated and consistent opposition to equal pay in tennis! admittedly women's rights aren't exactly an issue you want to interrogate too closely with any of the big three, see the utter cowardice and moral void surrounding the zverev case

which I think gets to the part that really pisses me off about nadal. it's just... the hypocrisy. his pr is all about being this big fighter, big fighter, big fighter, he's so tough, he never gives up, what a fighter. such a big song and dance is done about what a great sportsman he is, him and federer obviously - how respectful they are, how civil and composed and isn't it great that we have two such great role models for the sport. people won't stop banging on about the fucking racquet smashing thing, as if we have to declare sainthood because a multi-millionaire tax evader has decided not to break a stick that clocks in at maybe a hundred fifty quid retail price. I'm biased in that I like racquet smashes, I think they're funny, they're ultimately not that serious - I don't particularly mind giving them a code violation but I do think it's remarkable that breaking a racquet isn't allowed but smashing up your own body with a racquet is. which is a separate issue! point being, it's one of those things that get used to paint nadal as the fairest most respectful most humblest bestest sportsman of all time. but he's not!! of course he engages in gamesmanship, of course he did some blatant time violations every time he could get away with it, of course he loved disrupting the rhythm of the other player serving, of course some of his medical timeouts were awfully convenient. of course it's pretty rich of him to complain about other blokes grunting

which I literally would not mind - I am a justine henin fan - if it weren't ignored due to this guy's insane pr. I also think it is awfully like tennis, in all its hypocrisy and fundamental conservatism, to judge someone's moral character over the number of racquets they have smashed - rather than literally anything else. this OBVIOUSLY isn't his fault, but I find the way many of his fans glorify the abuse his uncle subjected him to as a child beyond distasteful. federer fans are the cockiest and at times most fanatical (though For Some Reason they've quietened down these past few years), djokovic fans are the most flat out insane, but I find something about the conservatism of the nadal fanbase particularly pernicious. all in on the macho culture, endless wanking off to his masculinity and traditional values and whatever other bullshit

and to bring it back around - he's also fucking boring lol. like at the end of the day all this stuff just eats away at his appeal for me. so committed to never saying anything controversial he never says anything at all. I've already expressed this opinion before on this blog, but I firmly believe if you are an athlete that good and that dominant then you NEED to have more going for you. you need more character, more narrative juice, more interesting interpersonal relationships with your fellow competitors. tbh I think it's probably quite hard to keep me invested if you're THAT dominant, but let's be honest - men's tennis hasn't even been trying since agassi and sampras retired (rip to my men's tennis goats). serena on the women's side is way less annoying because she faced a changing cast of characters throughout her career, everyone in noughties wta had crazy narrative juice, and she is also exponentially more interesting than the big three combined. she really WAS an asshole at times, and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible!! all the gamesmanship people use to insult her honestly just makes me like her more. people complain about the chaos at the top of the wta tour but like... first of all, obviously we've left that era, and secondly I'd take that any day over stagnation at the top of the men's. the big three for all their incredible tennis have stifled the men's game, nadal's the worst of them, glad he's retired

MOST BEHATED

[raymanrambles]

Hi i am alive i think and back making a post on the website tumblerer dot com.

Anyways here is Rayman Legends concept art uploaded by art director Jean-Christophe Alessandri!!!

First page here shows some swamp guys, i think they're used in the final game? Like those guys you see walking in the background.

Next page is some concept art for those firework plants. They have eyes here, which p sure is present in some other concept art and there's even unused sprites for it in its spritesheet?

Last page has a scrapped cerebrus poodle for Olympus Maximus, looks pretty funny i think and is a fun idea, not super fitting for general creature designs in Rayman but i guess Legends sorta disregards all that anyways. 2nd image shows some tree guys who were probably only for decoration, they look funny.

Sources:

[glassygate]

I find it funny how DPxDC fandom has replaced the early 2000s "Danny&Dick are siblings/twins" trope with "Danny&Damian are siblings/twins."

But I also wanted to try and figure out why it happened.

The main reason why Damian wasn't originally even considered as posibile relative for Danny is quite simple: Damian literally didn't exist until September 2006; a month before DP season 3 started airing.

Sure, the concept of Talia and Bruce having a son is much older. Kingdom Come from 1996 is probably being the best known example of this and I'm pretty sure there is even older comic where Talia has miscarriage. Plus, when have the fandoms cared about canon relationships when coming up reasons to make two characters related?

But in the early days there was another reason keeping Danny from becoming related to Bruce:

A little show known as Teen Titans.

Teen Titans cartoon originally aired from 2003-2006. This meant that when Danny Phantom started airing in May 2004, it was only natural that the fandoms of these two superhero teen cartoons would overlap.

Teen Titans was also very strong on the "found family" trope. The show had also already shown that the Titans were more than willing to take in additional members (Terra, Januarry 2004) so adding Danny in the team as a new member of the team was an easy base for a crossover. However, even back then, Phandom was just angst and gore loving as it is today so a lot of fic writers wanted a tool to ensure that the freshly traumatized Danny had a reason to trust and stay with group of strangers. And making Danny Robin's brother or twin was a perfect trick for that.

(Plus if you have two shows, with overlapping fandoms, that have characters with even slightly similar traits... You bet that someone in the fandom is going to make them related.)

So that was Teen Titans era... What next?

Well first we had "The Batman" cartoon which was allowed to add Robin in its 4th season thanks to Teen Titans ending (Bat-embargo). I don't really remember there being any bigger crossovers with Danny Phantom, but it did keep the idea of "Dick Grayson is Robin in cartoons" idea living.

2010, we got Young Justice. And once again Dick Grayson is the Robin.

If I remember correctly, Danny&Dick are sibling fics were still a thing back then, probably thanks to TTxDP fandom being still fairly active in FF.net. And of course a lot of these people would be influenced by, or move to, YJ fandom. Heck... I personally was introduced to YJ thanks to its influence and characters bleeding to TTxDP fics.

But YJ had something TT didn't: the Justice League and mentors. The Team being a "training school" for young heroes gave the show multiple reason for Danny to stay around, no matter the backstory. Danny could still be Dick's long lost brother. Or like Connor, he could be a laboratory experimet with no other place to go. Or perhaps, the League had found him solo-heroing like they did with Artemis and now wanted to train him.

So yeah, the Dick&Danny are sibling trope was still alive but slowly losing it's popularity. Early 2010s was also the time when people started to move from FF.net to AO3 and some fandoms and tropes just... didn't seem to survive the move as well as the others.

But the question still remains.

Why and how Damian replaced Dick as Danny's sibling?

And to answer to this question, we need to narrow down when it happened.

Though Damian had made several animated cameos over the years, his first big role as animated Robin started in 2014 thanks to the DC Animated Universe films (Son of Batman ->). When it came to Dick, he aged naturally into his Nightwing identity and ended his 10 year career as the main animated Robin.

So surely; this was the turning point that started it all?

Well... It turned out... that the answer to that is no.

Let me show you AO3's "Danny and Dick/Damian are siblings" tags

Damian didn't appear in Danny Phantom fandom tags until 2015; a whole year after his movie debut. And even after that, it took almost 7 whole years for "Danny and Damian are siblings" tag to appear.

(Sure, the "Danny Fenton and Dick-or-Damian are siblings" excludes a lot of potential fics (including the oldest ones), but it seemed to be the parent tag and gives a good idea of how this trend has evolved.)

Heck! Damian Wayne is tagged in Danny Phantom fics only 24 times by the end of the 2021! I knew Phandom is going through its "DC renaissance" but with his ever growing role in animated media, I still assumed Damian to be more commonly used character.

So the new question is: what the heck happened in 2022?

All animated and video game appereances I can find for Damian are from before 2020s. Sure, shows like Harley Quinn continued after that but I don't think that is the reason for Damian's sudden popularity.

So I decided to dig a little bit deeper.

In AO3, the first time I could see a fic with Damian and Danny as siblings is January 2022. The parent tag "Danny Fenton and Damian Wayne are Siblings" appears later the same month.

Before August, the tag has been used 3 times.

Then 22 times in the remaining 5 months.

And when I looked into those 22 fics, "What happened in 2022" turned out to be a completelly wrong question.

What I should have asked was WHO happened.

Because out of those 22 fics written between August adn December 2022... 14 were written by a single author.

I'm not going to name them in case this post causes unwanted traffic for them. Plus they might just be the one popularising the tag but not the trope itself. However, I have read some of their fics before this little project and they are a good writer. So no surprise if they managed to inspire other people to use this idea more often.

I also know I am probably missing something. The previously mentioned DCxDP renaissance was already started/starting back then. Of course it made people to make up a biological connection between Danny and Bat-family member with similar-ish age. It is the same logic that early 2000s fandom used to connect Danny to Robin the first time.

But if you just look at AO3 statistics... It creates an image of a trope being created by handful of fics and less authors than I have fingers to count.

And that is definitely one of the main reasons I love internet fandoms.

[triptychgrip]

"Arguments" Viktor and Yuuri have had over the years (Part 1)

1) Which of them is the better singer 

Yuuri insists that it’s Viktor, while Viktor insists the opposite. In reality, it’s definitely Yuuri. 

Their friends witness the (ridiculous) extent of Yuuri’s lack of objectivity during their joint bachelor party, which they host in Tokyo. While at a famous karaoke bar, Yuuri acquiesces to Phichit’s begging for him to perform something and is grateful that his fiance is willing to join him on stage for a slightly drunken rendition of Favourite Colour, by Carly Rae Jepsen. 

Neither Viktor nor Yuuri are bothered by how repetitive the lyrics are, because they’re too busy getting lost in each others’ eyes (which is fitting, considering the line “Eyes that show kaleidoscopes”).

Afterwards, Viktor stumbles off to get them more champagne, and Mila and Sara give Yuuri a few appreciative thumps on the back when he sits back down.

“You sounded great, Yuuri! And what a beautiful song!” Georgi exclaims, looking predictably teary-eyed. (Yurio’s eye roll is nearly audible when he begins to sniffle into a handkerchief.)

Yuuri gives Georgi a shy smile and ducks his head.

“Ahh, thanks Gosha. It’s all thanks to Vitya. His command of melody is so fluid and distinct,” he replies, knowing full well how dreamy he sounds. But you know what? Sue him: this is his bachelor party, he’s allowed to come off a bit lovesick. 

Due to his staring off into the distance while fondly recalling the performance they’d put on not even two minutes prior, he fails to notice the bewildered looks his friends exchange.

“Uhhh…Yuuri? You’re joking right?” Leo de la Iglesia pipes up, though his tone is more diplomatic than it could be. “You’re definitely the better singer. Please tell me you know that.”

Yuuri blinks a bit owlishly and then swivels his head around to see that Otabek, Seung-Gil, Yuuko and his sister are all staring at him with matching expression of exasperation. Otabek rarely looks so invested in anything. 

It’s unnerving.

“Vik-chan sounds like an unhinged cockatoo when he hums, let alone sings,” Takeshi deadpans before beginning to chug sake like its water. 

Yuuri bristles, feeling his hackles raise as they used to do on internet figure skating forums circa the early 2010’s.

“And since when did you become an avian expert?” he huffs, making Yurio give a reluctant snort-laugh. “Vitya has a beautiful voice! He’s definitely the better singer!”

The sizable quantity of alcohol he’s imbibed has made him lose all sense of time and relativity, because though Christophe later informs him that he’s been ranting about this for five minutes, it feels like only five seconds later that Viktor is making his way back over to their table. He’s scarcely set down the two bottles of champagne he’s bought before Phichit is gripping onto the collar of his dress shirt with something akin to desperation. 

“Viktor, put us out of our misery, I beg you!” his best friend exclaims, apparently so distressed that he hasn’t bothered to check his phone in a whole three minutes. “Please make your fiance see reason: he won’t stop going on and on about how you’re the better singer!”

Immediately, Viktor’s eyes darken, a stormy glint brewing in them that is actually somewhat intimidating. 

But when he opens his mouth, his voice is distinctly whiny.

“Yushaaaa, we’ve been over this!!” Viktor cries out in an, admittedly, grating tone.

But before Yuuri can offer his rebuttal, that same phrase – Yushaaaa, we’ve been over this!! –  cuts through the air again.

And again. 

And again.

Yurio is holding his phone up high, the volume on full blast so that the recording he’s captured of Viktor’s pouting plays over and over. It is, indisputably, a maddening assault on the ears. 

His grimace pretty much speaks for all of them.

“Really, Katsudon? This squawking, strident clamor is the voice you’re so enamored with?”

Yuuri decides to concede his point, but makes sure to do so as childishly as possible. 

2) Whether or not they should stage an angsty roleplay set shortly after the Sochi Banquet 

This is an idea Viktor claims is “absolutely necessary” in order for him to properly fulfill his choreographing duties, and while it’s one of their more crack-ish/extra arguments, give this a read and then tell me that you don’t see something like this actually happening. 

It comes up during the off-season, after a fellow Yubileyny rinkmate commissions Viktor to choreograph a wrenching program meant to capture the pain of unrequited love. But Viktor finds himself struggling to deliver on her ask. After all, he and Yuuri are smitten newlyweds, and, according to Yurio, “more nauseating than ever". As such, their Sochi banquet miscommunication feels light-years away, given the trust they’ve built in their relationship since then. 

It’s at Mila’s (joking) suggestion that Viktor’s wheels begin turning: what if they stage an angsty roleplay, meant to conjure the same sense of angst Viktor experienced during that period of pining after the Sochi banquet? But instead of Yuuri not remembering their magical night of dancing, suppose they dial up the heartbreak one step further so that Viktor can then channel that anguish into the perfect choreography commission piece? 

Specifically, what if Yuuri – now back home in Detroit, and gearing up for Japanese Nationals – explains in a pinched tone over the phone that he’s changed his mind about asking Viktor to become his coach?

The reason? 

Well, obviously, it's because Yuuri has fallen head over heels in love with Christophe: something he didn’t fully realize until he began having lurid dreams, starring the two of them tag-teaming on the pole. The way their limbs deftly entwined and untangled in a seamless rhythm…what other explanation was there for it, other than the fact that he and Christophe are true ‘polemates’?? (Remember my earlier caveat that this was crack-ish?)

Unsurprisingly, Yuuri is extremely unimpressed with this idea. 

Even more so when he sees the “script” Viktor has written for them to play off of.

“Vitya, there’s no way I’d be able to even say these words without laughing,” he complains, poring over the 16-page sheaf of papers his husband had thrust into his face as soon as he'd walked into their office room.

“‘The overhead lights of the banquet hall reflected off of Christophe’s abs, and suddenly, every worry that had ever plagued me fell away’,” he reads, in a stilted tone. “‘Vicchan, who? All that mattered in that moment was the way Christophe nimbly transitioned from a Bird of Paradise to a Reiko pose, thereby irrevocably capturing my heart in the process’.”

Yurio, Georgi, and Mila are roaring with laughter in the background as he speaks, because, for some confounding reason, Viktor felt that their presence was required for his script reveal. To everyone’s amazement – especially considering the absolute ridiculousness of the script – Viktor breaks down sobbing during their first practice round and Yuuri has to put a stop to the charade, very wisely noting that this roleplay would be doing neither of them a favor in terms of their mental health. (Afterwards, they have a tearful heart-to-heart where Yuuri invokes a repeat of his Chihoko incident promise: “I could search the whole world but no one is better than you, Viten’ka, even if your pole-dancing skills are extremely lacking!” This is music to Viktor’s ears.)

3) Whether or not Viktor should take on additional students, apart from Yuuri

Oh, you sweet, summer child: you thought this post would be all fun and games, didn’t you? Perhaps the quote marks around the word 'arguments' lulled you into a false sense of security.

WELL, SORRY TO BREAK YOUR HEART

If you’ve read my post-canon fanfiction, you might be familiar with my headcanon that Viktor would eventually take on Yurio as a student, sometime after he retires (and once Yakov retires, which he really needs to do, that poor man). In some ways, I think the two of them as a coach-student pair would be catastrophic, and in other ways, I think it would be extremely successful. (This is assuming Yurio sheds some of his age-typical angst and matures a bit to the point where he doesn’t openly scoff at everything Viktor says.)

One thing I wonder about is how Yuuri might react to this initial proposal. I think there’s a lot here to potentially examine. 

For one, if Yakov is the one to suggest the idea, I think it would mean a lot to Viktor, especially considering how unsupportive Yakov initially was when he flew off to Hasetsu. 

For his former coach to be the one to suggest that Viktor take Yurio on as a student…I honestly think it would heal any latent rift that still existed between them, because it would be an acknowledgment that Yakov sees Viktor as a truly capable coach, and someone who isn’t only governed by romantic whims. (Though by this point, a few years post-canon, I imagine that anyone could see that Viktor truly can grow and be the kind of coach a top-tier athlete needs to succeed. This is more than evident from Yuuri’s PyeongChang Olympic gold medal, a World Champion title or two, a Grand Prix Final victory or two, etc.).

And while Viktor would never dream of making an actual decision on the matter without first having a few robust discussions with Yuuri – because his husband will always be his first priority – maybe Yuuri’s anxiety causes him to jump to conclusions.

Maybe he hears the excitement in Viktor’s voice – excitement that only extends to Viktor’s feeling of pride that Yakov thinks him capable of coaching Yura, not any sort of actual anticipation around accepting the offer – and he thinks that Viktor has already made up his mind to say yes. And from there, it’s a short leap for Yuuri’s mind to do what comes so naturally: to compare himself to Yura, and find all the ways in which he might be lacking as a student. Never mind the fact that he’s the reigning Olympic champion, that he’s won one or more World titles, that he’s continued to expand his jump repertoire so that now many people say that his quads are better than Viktor’s ever were…his anxiety doesn't care about any of that.

Yura and Viktor have a history that began long before him, and if Viktor starts coaching him, then won’t it only be a matter of time before Yuuri is left behind? (No, Yuuri, you infuriatingly lovely fool, THAT’S JUST YOUR ANXIETY TALKING!)

Ahhh, the angst potential is so ripe! One of these days, maybe I’ll get around to writing a fic about this.

For now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons, and look out for a part 2! In the meantime, feel free to let me know of your own ideas around their arguments (lighthearted or otherwise). 

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

what the fuck is the Wire Mother book. Sociology has lore now?

oh boy okay

so you remember the Divergent books? the YA boom of the early 2010's? The Wire Mother was one of those series. they turned the Harlow's monkey experiments into dystopia factions.

yeah. i know. bear with me

The first book, The Wire Mother (2010) is pretty standard YA dystopia fare. There's this girl named Leo Groves (the Leo's short for Leonore) who lives in the court of the Cloth Mother, a city where people live in comfort and camaraderie and a general vibe of hold hands around the campfire and sing, except for the people who die at random. This is accepted with unsettling what-can-you-do calm from the main characters. (Eventually, it's revealed that's happening because only a 1/5th of the food served in the city is real, so most of the people are dropping dead of starvation but their bodies are quickly hurried away as to not kill the vibe, so no one worries all that much about it).

Which could have been cool speculative fiction! A handy story about desensitization to violence or complacency or something. Unfortunately, this was 2010 YA, so the concept is quickly kicked under the bed in favor of. yeah. A love triangle. Leo, being a special little narratively significant thing, finds her way to the mysterious other city on the other side of her hometown, the court of the Wire Mother. And when she's there, she meets a boy. Coil 54810.

Coil goddamn 54810.

That brooding son of a bitch. His last name is 54810 because the concept of last names and family doesn't exist in the court of the Wire Mother, only functionality, so 54810 is just the number of Coils there's been in the city. He's not a clone or anything, it's just the amount of people who've had that name. It's like being named Jeremy 54810. Killer of plot pacing. Swoopy of hair. He would have deserved to be named Jeremy.

God, anyway, I'm talking a lot about this. Anyway: The Wire Mother is exactly as good as the average YA dystopia book from the time period. It has some high points (the Cloth and Wire mother are cool ominously looming entities, and the main antagonist Jane-Mary has a level of batshit mad science energy to her that makes her the most fun villain in the series) and some low points (the forced Romeo and Juliet references. the forced romance. It is so clear that Benjamin St. Jobs, the other guy in the love triangle, doesn't stand a chance, but we have to keep who-will-it-be-ing for so long anyway. And Coil's a dick), but it mostly just balances out.

There were three more books in the series. There was supposed to be four, but. Well

Anyway. Book Two, The Wire Mother: Hounds' Toll (2012), actually kind of slapped. It went to more tragic and horror-influenced places than the original book. One thing I'll give Angela Lee (the author) credit for: I don't think this was a sequel for the sake of having a sequel. I think that the series was always supposed to be a pentalogy.

Some of the stuff in this book has still stuck with me to this day- I have to hold myself back from adding ominously ringing church bells in so many of my projects. Also, it really filled out Leo Groves as a protagonist- I could take or leave her in the first book, but I started to genuinely like her by the second. And the stuff they do with Stellarose Ardent, her best friend turned rival... God, I could make a whole post about Stellarose Ardent.

this book series is good, readers thought. surely the third book will be as good if not better

THE THIRD BOOK WAS HELL. The Wire Mother: Ordained Voltage (2013)...I think it did everything wrong. There was a reason that there was a two year break between the first two books, and book three being out only a year after Hounds' Toll really shows.

It's incredibly rushed. Leo barely gets to do anything. Stellarose is killed off in the most unsatisfying way possible. And while it seemed like Book Two had neatly put the love triangle to bed, no! It claws its way out of its grave!! To torment me specifically!

The only good thing we got out of this car wreck is Anesthesia 3, lab rat girl and apocalypse maiden extraordinaire. I adore her. She's got real Fish Inside A Birdcage vibes. Everything else, though? Horrors.

But readers held out hope. At least the characters ended up trapped in an interesting setting at the end of book three. The merciless, multi-layered prison of Tithonus, the central antagonist of the series. It seemed like that was a good set-up for a prison escape storyline. Those have to be entertaining, right?

Somehow, some way, no. Book Four, The Wire Mother: Endless Sentence (2014) is not just bad. I could forgive bad. But it is bad, and it is boring.

so boring that I'm not even going to waste my words on it. It's a school night. I'm not staying up to describe that thing. The only interesting thing about it is how it could manage to be boring while being an homage to the fucking Stanford Prison experiments.

And that was the end of a lot of people's hopes for the Wire Mother series. Only one good book out of four isn't a great track record, you know? A lot of readers were willing to put Hounds' Toll down as a one-off.

Then, in November of 2014, the preview for Book Five, The Wire Mother: Quantum Claws came out. It was three chapters long. And people lost their shit.

First of all, it was good. Maybe as good as Hounds' Toll. Maybe better.

But more than that, it was a break from the relatively grounded, safe, company standard dystopia of the series. Because this bad boy was going to be about time travel. Tithonus, in his evil plans to live forever, had built a time machine and activated it just at the right moment when the plucky heroes were about to kill him once and for all.

Which seems like something that would be a train wreck, right? If this author can't handle the easy-to-please tropes of prison breaks and romance, what business does she have trying to handle a time travel story without completely fucking up the series?

And maybe that would have been true. But the first three chapters were insanely promising. They were refreshing, original- they got time travel. We were able to get characters like Stellarose and Jane-Mary and Turpentine back after the story cast them aside so soon. And it promised to really examine what Leo Groves meant for the book's world. So, hopes rose again.

Unfortunately, we'll never know if it would have been good or bad. The fifth book was never published. We don't know why. It was just promised, for months and months, and then. Poof. The updates stopped. It was gone.

And it haunts me. If you haven't stopped reading by now, you can probably tell that. The fandom was like a fraction of the size of the Divergent fandom, and I don't know anyone IRL who's read these things. I don't even know if I can or should recommend them.

But sometimes something doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece to burrow into your brain and not let go, I guess ASJSJS

[maybankbae]

Valentine’s Day Plans

Word Count: 1,000+

Warnings: Strong Language

AN: Okay what if i said this is my favorite fic I’ve ever written. Maybe it’s because Cal is my cheat lane as well. Happy reading and hope you all enjoy<3

————

February 13th 2019

Daniella Walker. The name that is mainstream as she was making her way into the music scene as what the internet calls their "pop princess."

Daniella first had internet fame how everyone does in the early 2010's, by posting on Youtube. From the age of 16 she started posting covers of her singing different popular songs at the time ranging from Halsey to Ariana Grande. First viral video being her cover of Honeymoon Avenue from the album Yours Truly.

Her life changed at 19 when one of her self produced songs called Speechless dropped and became an overnight sensation. Flying from her home country of London, England to countless radio interviews to her first American Music Awards as an attendee and performer at.

That’s when she met some of her longtime friends in the music industry, 5 Seconds of Summer. She met them because she accidentally bumped into a red haired Micheal as she was coming off stage and they were about to take the stage. The two gushing over much they enjoyed each other’s music.

She was a huge Amnesia fan.

Over the years they continued to keep contact with one another. She was featured on their 3rd album Youngblood on their song Want You Back as backing vocals.

Daniella had also become a regular feature in 5SOS content. As well as being posted on their respective girlfriend’s Instagram’s pretty frequently.

For a little while she was considered a groupie when she went to Bali with them in 2016. Until stan twitter quickly defended her from the trolls on the internet claiming how do they not know her.

She was now 24 standing in line at her favorite local coffee and bagel spot in downtown Los Angeles. The line continued move at a slow pace as she hummed along to the beat in her airpods she been sent the night previous. She was absolutely in love with it. She had a studio session set with Max Martin that she definitely couldn't be late for.

He's worked with artists like Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, and Britney Spears.

It's been a dream of hers to work with him and only her 3rd album that is saying she's gotta be doing something right.

She finally approached Bailey, one of the cashiers she had blossomed a friendship from after being a regular here for 4 months.

"Everything bagel with a side of strawberry cream cheese and Iced Americano double shot with light ice and vanilla creamer!" She shouted to the back. "Hey Daniella."

A smile was plastered on her face. "Hey girlfriend! You'll never believe what I've got planned today." She started as she dug in her purse for her card to hand over for her to swipe.

"Please you're literally a pop star. If you told me you were going to meet up with Kim Kardashian I would probably believe you." She stated in her strong jersey accent as she handed the card back.

"No I wish, but on my bucket list though, maybe I could get a discount on those Skims bodysuits I like. Anyways besides the point here, somehow managed to get a studio session with Max Martin! And cherry on top, the guys are showing up with Ryan fucking Tedder.” She said excitedly as she moved off to the side of the line so other people could move.

"See this is what I mean. It's Thursday at nine in the morning and you're going to work with your hot Australian friends and I'm here covered in flour all day while dealing with the bitches in the back and isn't Max Martin that Swedish dude who's written and produced for basically every A list singer." She leaned against the register.

"Yeah it's so exciting is it not. And Alexis you're so talented at making bagels. Hone in on that." She joked making the curly haired blonde roll her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Your accent makes this sound all posh Dani.”

“Oh whatever.”

"Your beautiful everything bagel and iced coffee m'lady." Bailey turned around to the kitchen workers as she handed her two paper bags one full of her favorite little snacks and the other with her bagel.

"Oh my goodness, you didn't have to do th-." She started.

"Oh please shut up yes I did. You're gonna be late with the hot guys.”

“Text me when you can, I'd love to hear all about it." She smiled.

"Will do."

As she was on the highway on the way to the studio her mind was clouded with thoughts some negative some positive, but mostly negative.

Before she knew it she was finding a parking spot and walking into Capitol Records.

Showing security her badge, she looked down at her Apple Watch and cursed, realizing she was going to be late if she didn’t climb the stairs in under 2 minutes. Thank god for her zumba classes she’s been taking.

Once she figured out what studio she was gonna be in for the next 6 hours, she spotted his long hair and glasses talking to Ryan and the four men sat in the couch in the corner. All of them laughing at something on Luke's phone. She knocked bringing their attention to her standing at the door slightly out of breath.

"Daniella! Pleasure to finally meet you." Max said getting up from the comfy chair to give her hug.

"So nice to meet you too. I'm so incredibly excited and I also see you've invited some of my good friends." She stated nudging Ryan's elbow.

"He had a lot of positive things to say about you." He said sitting back down.

"Daniella you probably know them," Ryan gestured to the men sitting on the couch.

"Know them. These guys are basically a second family to me." She joked.

"I hope you don't mind that I decided to bring them along here to hopefully do some live instrumentals for ya." He told her looking at her with a smile.

"Oh my goodness not at all! It actually sounds so cool. I’ve missed these guys." She smiled widely.

Micheal stood up and gave her a brotherly hug. “Have you gotten shorter?” He joked making Daniella give him the bird.

“Haven’t you gotten weirder.”

“Touché.”

Ashton was next, giving her another squeeze and pat on the head.

Then Luke who did their handshake they made up in Bali together, that neither of them forgot even after 4 years.

Finally it was Calum who smiled at her first and then suddenly picked up her up and spun her around in a circle, earning a loud laugh from Daniella and his signature smile that she still got butterflies from.

Even after her 6 years of knowing him, he still makes her blush like a school girl.

“Alright everyone let’s get to work to hear this beautiful voice of hers.” Max stated turning around and facing the recording booth as Daniella walked in and put on her headphones.

Two hours passed as Daniella stood in the recording booth, recording the second verse. She was mumbling the possible verse in the microphone. The song had a Lorde lyricism with Ariana Grande singing vibe.

She and Max had titled the song Selfish. Max and Ryan giving her corrections if needed. Other than the couple comments or corrections from the group she had total artistic freedom and she loved that.

“Could we leave that first half blank of that chorus and I’ll stack some more vocal layers on that run.” Daniella suggested over the noise of the metronome. “Thank you.”

“Yup sounds amazing.”

While Ryan was stacking her vocals, she leaned next to Ashton's drum kit and told him what pace she needed for the chorus.

Calum was fiddling with his bass strings trying to tune them when Daniella walked over. “So what’s your big opinion on it??”

“I think it sounds bloody brilliant.” He said in a Scottish accent.

“Don’t make fun of the Scottish people.”

“You always seem to forget I’m half Scottish and you’re literally British.” He laughed as she hit his tattooed arm slightly.

Max leaned into Micheal's headset, "Okay Mike start from when Daniella comes in at "I used to be cautious about this and stop when the beat drops back down to the acoustic version that we have prepared.”

3 more hours passed as their session ended and Daniella so proud of the song they had made and gotten mastered.

"Alright, could we schedule another one for Friday morning? We’ve got selfish crossed off the list. We could get started on Messier Things as well." Max asked her looking at his calendar.

She nodded with a thumbs up. "That should work with me."

"It was so good to finally see you guys today. What’s new in the wonderful world of 5SOS land." She asked the boys as they were walking to a lunch spot on the less crowded side of LA so the likelihood of them all being noticed and ambushed by paparazzi was a zero percent chance.

“Going on a promo tour for Easier. Thats literally all. New York, LA, Atlanta, and some overseas.” Ashton said laughing.

"Well whatt are you guys doing for the day of love that happens to be tomorrow." She asked wiggling her fingers together.

"Spending time with Sierra." Luke quickly answered with a smile. He loves that woman more than air it seems. But it’s good to see him so happy.

"Crystal wants to go see some new movie." Micheal stated with a raised eyebrows. He probably had no clue but he was with Crystal and thats all he cared about.

“Oo lemme know if you need a dog sitter. I’ll bring Pepper. Y’know she loves Moose and Southy.”

"Probably just a dinner with KayKay." Ashton’s bright smile came up whenever he talked about KayKay.

"Absolutely nothing." Calum said quickly with a slight eye roll. She knew how he felt about Valentine's Day. He hated that day with every fiber in his being.

"We could spend it together Cal, I'm not doing anything either. It can be like old times!" Reminiscing on when they would go their favorite Ramen restaurant in the city and rewatch Criminal Minds at his house whenever they were both free.

As much as only everyone around them knows, they've had a flirty relationship ever since they've met. But what they don’t know is they claim they’re just friends who have occasionally kissed each other, slept in the same bed, and she's worn his clothes more than once but just friends.

But due to them being too awkward to act upon their obvious feelings, they have no official label on whatever they are.

"Ramen on Melrose it is." He laughed making Daniella laugh along with him.