#I was just going to hoard this as i usually do with screenshots these days bc i feel like they're considered passe or whatever

[xx0acidicorchid0xx]

some notes on wolverines (mustelidae) and Logan

cause new hyperfixation (its been goin on since a few weeks ago). gonna preface this by saying i have only seen the first x-men movie, and whatever else i found on tiktok n tumblr through my hyperfixation hoarding, so if anything is wrong or actually canon (or not canon) I'm sorry

notes under cut:

wolverines, while technically weasels, theyre the largest terrestrial weasel, and can weigh 26-50lbs.

Logan, is 5'3, but weighs at least 300lbs due to the admantium skeleton (195lbs without, meaning this small furry smelly man is just pure bulk)

wolverines are muscular n stocky and have thick fur (also waterproof n oily to prevent frost n such in them harsh canadian forests), are native to canada but can be found in similar environments, and are described as lil balls of violence and are extremely territorial around their food, family, and themselves (only out of necessity in order to survive the winter wastelands they live in). they also lack social skills and pack behavior like wolves

Logan, hairy beefy man, born in canada, described as an asshole, is violent n aggressive, but also severely traumatized. now with the fur, wolverines are nicknamed skunkcats because of how much they reek (they also mark whatever carcass they stole or found so nothing else can take it from em or where they buried it). if Logan (who canonically reeks) has waterproof n oily fur, it must be real difficult getting him to shower (not to mention he doesnt like getting wet) and also the water will not be able to get to his fucking skin because hes built to survive canadian woods.

wolverines are also commonly found in trees, as they use the height to locate prey and eventually pounce onto said prey

from some of the panel screenshots ive seen, Logan isnt unfamiliar with climbing onto trees

wolverines have been known to take on animals 3x their size, such as fuckin Moose, polar bears, elk n caribou, etc etc (only difference here between the mustelid and Logan is that there is no known attack on a human by a wolverine).

while wolverines have semi-retractable claws, Logan's claws are fully retractable. they (both the animal and Logan) have huge paws/hands, for the animal, its to prevent sinking into the snow

along with the thick waterproof fur and stocky build, theyre latin name gulo basically means glutton, so they have to eat a fuck load in order to maintain their body temp (usually they just eat their weight or very frequent small meals, but larger stuff is common), also theyre carnivorous but will eat anything they can find or kill, usually carcasses from avalanches n such, aka opportunity eaters

i have heard that Logan eats a shit ton, especially meat, but only large meals when alone, and small meals more frequently at the mansion. with the body heat thing, it must be super hard for him post-adamantium to keep his body temp at a normal range without literally sitting in the sun all day.

despite the aggressiveness they develop in the wild, when domesticated (which ive heard/read is super easy than you would think), they become very attached to one person, who usually is the trusted handler. they exhibit very cat-like behaviors, except wolverines actually like being picked up and wearing harnesses, they also like pets (but again, the trusted handler thing). they can become calm when hearing a high pitched obnoxious voice, and can go into a kind of trance when their gums are rubbed.

not sure about the cat behaviors n harnesses n other shit for Logan, but with the voice thing: Wade. thats all i really need to say about that

wolverines are naturally polygamous, but do come back to the female every so often to help raise the kits. theres a video of a wolverine male leaving out a moose leg near a female's den so she can have something for the kits to eat

this man gets passed around the x-men mansion like coleslaw at a southern get together dinner, aint no way hes monogamous. he does worry about the women he basically adopted and raised (rogue, laura, jubilee i think, yukio?,, i cant name any others but theres several)

wolverines also have the ability to smell a frozen carcass from over a mile away (and lemme tell ya, unless you have an excellent sense of smell, frozen anything doesnt have a smell except sharp)

this man can canonically smell emotions, and be able to tell the difference between Mystique and Storm just from smell Alone.

wolverines are very vocal, usually this kinda snarl/snort/growl/mumbling/chuff sound

not sure about comic Wolvie, but Hugh Jackman (and Logan, obviously) does snort n growl n roar n other shit like that

wolverines' mating rituals often include fighting multiple times, and mate Only after the female is confident in the male's fighting (males who return several times are more likely to mate than males who only fight once or twice) and that the female doesnt submit too easily. this is so the female and male can ensure the produced kits are strong enough to survive

self explanatory, minus the producing kits (that i know of)

also fun lil fact, wolverines' back molars are rotated at a 90 degree angle, so they can gnaw through bone easier (supposedly this is a common trait for mustelids)

not sure about sideways molars, but Logan does canonically have longer, more animalistic canines

most of my notes and how i worded some stuff is taken from wolverine expert Steve Kroschel, and tumblr user @/icarusredwings, as they have Amazing notes and headcanons on wolverines and Logan

[neriumxoleander]

If you could explain, I'm only learning this now! What's going on with Gato? I've only seen vague posts but I know all social media is gone (because by god fucking twitter apparently) I've seen from the fake gatobob account post about recent events and I'm soo confused. Could you please shed some more light on this? If you are as clueless as I am, you don't need to respond. - @your-very-own-anon (mod speaking)

Sorry for the late response, I've been trying to retag some things while I'm focused on this account for once. I'll try to be brief? please don't take me as the authority on this, I just happened to get into the tags while it was unfolding earlier today. still going under a read more though. i suppose a tw for mentions of racism and xenophobia are warranted. And please do not interact if you are a minor or have no age listed on your blog, I will block you.

Gato deleted her social media accounts this morning (tumblr, twitter, pillowfort) and explained on patreon it was for her mental health and safety (which... safety? hm) and someone here immediately claimed the gatobob url. which happens, it's tumblr. but this person is using it basically as a callout center.

the callout seems to be about an incident that happened in the patreon exclusive discord server before it got shut down a couple months ago. tldr according to this person, someone (a mod?) made a racist comment towards someone, and gato apparently handled the situation poorly and neither her or the mods apology were really that great. I was in the server as a lurker more than anything, but I don't remember being there when this happened.

other people sending in asks to this new gatobob account have also been calling her out for xenophobia, but I have a feeling that's looking a little bit too much into statements she's made about her games being redistributed in Russia and Spain specifically if i recall correctly.

this new blog is demanding gato and the aforementioned mod properly apologize for their behaviour, but in my opinion, this is a really weird and bad way to go about it. Smart to use her url as a way to boost the problem, but... I haven't seen any solid evidence besides some very vague screenshots, none of them including the racist remarks (the screenshots they've posted so far definitely aren't good responses or apologies if they ARE linked to this incident, and it should have been taken seriously) And the victim from the racism incident is NOT the person running the new gatobob account, so it feels very weird to me that this person is taking it upon themselves to stir everyone up and demand things from gato and the mod.

as far as I can tell, gato hasn't said anything about this on patreon, although she's likely taking her separation from social media very seriously. If she is aware (and I'm sure she's getting plenty of DMs about this on patreon), she'll likely make a post there addressing it in the next couple days, but that's just speculation.

I'm keeping a mostly neutral stance in this whole thing, but I'm encouraging people to not interact with this new gatobob account. There's nothing we can really do; they aren't impersonating her, posting anything against ToS as far as Im aware, and people have been hoarding urls for years. Just... listen and learn, I think is all I can suggest. Form your own opinions, but don't go on a witch hunt about it, if that makes any sense.

I'll try to answer other questions, but I'm just one guy on the internet who doesn't usually get tangled with things like this. Please be patient.

[becauseplot]

Hi hi hi :D

My header was gettin crowded so I figured I might as well just make an intro post lmao.

Welcome!

My name is Curly! You can call me Curly, or becauseplot, or bp, or bitchass---anything along those lines will do <3

I use he/she/they pronouns (in no particular order, go nuts) and I am not a minor!

Below the cut: interests, style of posting, tags list/system, ao3, and more! (Important bits are bolded!)

[x]

The things I'm Normal:tm: about

QSMP remains a background interest of mine but it's still beloved. Faves are qphilza (rly just ANY philza rp characters) and qcellbit. I also love DSMP, TotK, and BotW. Sometimes I'll jumpscare you with a Sherlock Holmes post just because. (Holmes and Watson have my whole heart. They <3)

I'm also in the middle of watching Ordem Paranormal! I've watched AOP, OSNF, OPD, OPC, and am making my way through OSNI. Liz my beloved. Arthur my beloved. All of them my beloved. Watch tags are curlyaop, curlyosnf, curlyopd, curlyopc, etc.

I am nothing if not long-winded (if you couldn't already tell from the length of this lmaooooo)

I like+reblog+tag pretty much EVERYTHING. So sorry if I clutter your notifs, I just have the inexplicable urge to add Every Post to my Hoard.

I talk a lot in tags. Like, a LOT. Also, my posts have a tendency to ramble. I have thoughts and internet access and that is a very ill-advised combination <3

I do swear a lot!!! Always know that if I'm swearing I am never genuinely mad/upset I do it for the funnies and the funnies only.

#organized (not really)

I do have a tagging system but it's kinda!! Wonky!!! I'll organize it one of these days I swear. For the most part, if you want stuff (qsmp-related) I've saved on...

a specific character: "q![character]" (yes even the npcs like the eggs)

duos: "[______] duo" (or their ~special~ duo name, ex "codebreakers", "crimeboys", etc)

shipping content: the ship name lmao

clips: "qsmp clips for the soul"

funny/neat in-game/webcam screenshots: "qsmp reaction images"

I also save stuff about major arcs and special events under specific tags, so keep an eye out for these too:

"qsmp festa junina"

"qsmp spiderbit wedding"

"qsmp election event" (stuff to do with the whole election arc)

"qsmp dinner event" (the election dinner with the imposter eggs)

"egg-napping part 3" (posts to do with the egg disappearances, mainly the first few days and the black concrete)

"happy all the time" (happy pills arc)

"a dose of reality" (the end/aftermath of the happy pills arc)

"q viva mexico" (mexican independence day event)

"qsmp dia de muertos"

"qsmp purgatory"

"qsmp purg finale" (or 11/18, what we thought was a finale)

"purg 2 electric boogaloo" / "qpurgatory 2" (AWWW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN)

"@v@" (qforever possession stuff)

qsmp prison event

q2024 opening (YOOO HAPPY NEW YEAR)

A couple other tags!

"qmongus" (qsmp amongus lobby)

"qoutlast" (qsmp plays outlast trials)

"qtwitter” (twitter posts, usually does NOT include event updates tho)

“qsmp event updates” (HERE are the event updates!)

"twitchcon paris" (mostly stuff about qsmp cc's meeting up)

"qsmp brazil meetup"

"qsmp vegas meetup"/"twitchcon vegas"

"qsmp french alps meetup"

“streamer awards 2024”

"fruit mountain tournament" (cellbit's fruit mountain tournament!)

"qpositivity" (positive posts praising qsmp, for when the discourse and neg gets to be too much <3 )

Another random tag I have: "the dynamic of all time" - Posts that give me vibes of a character/relationship dynamic but nothing specific enough to tag it as a given character. I just think they're neat :]

COME SHOUT AT ME

YOU HEARD ME. ASKS ARE OPEN. TALK TO ME!!!

Bear in mind you might get a wall of text in response. You have been warned.

I remember my ao3 login sometimes

My ao3 is BecausePlot! I haven't been super active recently, but if you're interested in some of my stuff, here's a list of my 10 favorite works atm, from most to least recent <3

Relative (QSMP x Ordem au) (au is tagged: "TWLITFAU")

The Calm (Spiderbit fluff)

Miss Me? (f!Cell shows up at f!Felps' apartment)

Waking Up On The Wrong Side of the Bed (c!Phil in QSMP)

Insanity (q!Cellbit character study)

An.G.E.L.S. (OSMP x Antarctic Empire, Military au)

Danse Macabre (Parentsduo <3)

But You're Not Yourself (c!Phil and c!Techno raising c!Wilbur)

A Helping Hand (Phil gets adopted by a flock of crows)

Take My Hand (Retelling of the handcuff scene from BBC Sherlock: Reichenbach Fall)

Leaving a comment on the fic itself or in my askbox is the best way for me to talk to you and say thank you for reading! Let me appreciate you ya nerd!!

Other Schtuff

UHHHH I MADE AN ORDEM AU CALLED 90 SECONDS TO MIDNIGHT. YEAH. PUTTING THIS HERE :D

My pfp is from GranadaTV's Sherlock Holmes adaptation (with Jeremy Brett), specifically the episode The Greek Interpreter.

My banner is by wolfythewitch (from the Creature animatic I think?? I honestly don't remember lmao.)

My favorite color is green (if you couldn't tell), my favorite animal is horse, my favorite flower is dandelion, my favorite imagery to play with in writing is space/universe/atoms/stars/etc, I'm studying mechanical engineering and physics, I do shitty drawings on super rare occasions, and, last but not least,

If you are a dick about anything you will simply be blocked.

Peace and love on planet earth <3

If you have any questions, send an ask! I hope you enjoy your stay :Drl

[dragonaqe]

shiro & meredith

[prisonguards]

@astronomical-bagel

I am. SO terribly sorry about how long this took to reply to, my brain wanted to sit down and write an Essay for u but Ive been. SO BUSY. But seriously Ive been treasuring and hoarding this ask :) its SOOOO so so nice that other people enjoy them as much as I do and Im so happy I could help collect us a little with the tag ^--^ we are all friends now <3 EDIT ALSO TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING ASK???? I did have screenshot of ur ask thankfully, Im soooo pissed tho idk where it went

So Im gonna go into my history with them a bit cause I kinda got into them backwards ig augshsg. Or at least different from how most ppl in the tag/posting abt them rn are. I was primarily a Traffic and Emp S1 smallidarity guy for the longest time! Funnily enough I was a late adopter of Emp S2 smallidarity (enemies to lovers usually isnt my thing) but the way the community latched onto it and got everyone talking about them really, really got me invested (also getting kin feels helped /shot. Who said that.) I think the other funny thing is that smallidarity is a dynamic where I like the platonic version (almost) equally as much as the romantic—I push for the romantic just because its easiest to collect ppl with a shiptag (although I did intend Smallidarity to be both a platonic and a romantic tag, ftr. Post both! Any! All!) and because I enjoy Complicated dynamics that are easier caught/categorized under a “romantic” lens sometimes even if they arent Necessarily that. But I just love when theyre important to eachother in general.

I actually have Such delusions abt their Traffic dynamic. Im so insane abt it. I think theyre good friends with Joel having slowly building romantic feelings for Jimmy throughout the seasons, which Jimmy is… pretty much aware of and would reciprocate—if Joel would ever ask (he never will). The Last Life dynamic in particular is one that haunts me, because it. Feels like their most amicable Traffic dynamic, at least in my memory, and in no small part of that is Joel pledging to avenge Jimmy (and Mumbo but this is a Smallidarity post isnt it). That small comment profoundly impacts my Traffic Joel characterization and Im planning to incorporate little objects of remembrance for Jimmy into my late game Joel designs. Traffic smallidarity… like many Traffic dynamics that captivate me… its about the missed opportunities, its about the lack of time, its about Tragedy… I just have such bad Last Life brainrot on the mind rn so this has been whats living with me Daily rn.

I also think their 100 Hours is one of the most funny and most OBVIOUSLY flirty dynamics, though I may get into that a bit more with another ask that I got recently, and, well. My Sorry Sir compilation covers a lot of it.

Double Life is what actually converted me but I cannot think of what the Exact moment was. I went back to my messages from when the eps were coming out and.

They immediately got me.

Theres so many good Traffic moments. One day I will make that clip compilation. I swear.

EMPIRES S1……… theyre best friends… I think it would be funny if Joel is independently dating both him and Lizzie and Then they all find out Jimmy and Lizzie are siblings and Joel is like. Oh jesus Christ my type is Even More specific than I thought. Fishkisser boy. Joel making the joke romantic montage of Jimmy before declaring hes gonna be proposing to Lizzie made me. Drop dead. This dynamic is Everything I craved out of them, watching this directly after Double Life and during Emp S2, when theyre most antagonistic, made me fully insane. I LOVE when theyre nice to eachother. So much. Best friends who kiss. Little design headcanon for them is like. Joel is Fully embellished by pearls he gets from Jimmy and Lizzie. I should give Jimmy n Lizzie azaleas to wear in exchange too auughh..

Okay finally circling back to Where We Are Now. Emp S2. These fuckers.

So Im delusional and like it best when theyre Soft right? So even though S2 lends itself So well to toxicity (and dont get me wrong. Sometimes I Gotta indulge) I rlly like making it cutesy as fuck. Joels obsession and complete infatuation and cute aggression is everything. Hes so infatuated with this guy he doesnt know what to do with himself and just is Relentless. schoolyard “hes bullying you because he likes you” type beats. Hes my moron hes my annoying king. I cannot remember if Ive talked abt my design headcanons fully but Im big on the Jimmy Was Human but Joels god powers are Changing That. I think its subconscious, hes not doing it maliciously, reality just bends to his will too much.

Also. Found my decision moments… these are from July 3rd.

I think. Overall the most enthralling thing about them is the care that underlies everything. That despite the endless teasing and bullying, Joel really genuinely care about Jimmy in a way he struggles to express sometimes. I think its really special and charming and compelling. I just have illnesses about them

[alwysalghthouse]

alright, i need to get this off my chest, just word vomit, and maybe someone on here can relate or even give advice.

my apologies, i’m usually a reddit user, but reddit can be harmful with mental health topics and somehow tumblr is the best option (this isn’t an anti tumblr take i just think it’s funny the place called “hell site” is the genuine best place for this)

if ur anti self diagnosis just ignore me. i would happily get a professional diagnosis if i wasn’t poor and scrapping by the way it is without a whole person to pay. trust me, i want help and medication way more than you don’t want me to self diagnose. with that said i am not anti self diagnosing at all, and completely understand the many reasons people don’t seek a professional opinion and me wanting to seek it for myself does not mean i think everyone Must to be valid. just do whatever’s genuinely best for You. maybe this prefacing is just my anxiety as a chronic reddit user though, those people are brutal.

i’ve been aware of my dissociation issues for years but never really considered the chance that they’re a disorder of their own. i’m diagnosed autistic, adhd and have had psychotic episodes and also self diagnosed ocd, so like. , yea obviously dissociation is a part of it.

a few months ago i came to the understanding that i have dpdr, fair enough, easy. i acknowledged it, admitting the problem is the first step, we got it. it got worse from there, the more aware of the problem i became the worse it got.

my dissociation issues have gotten to a crushing point to where i don’t know how to cope with day to day life. again, sadly professional help isn’t on the table right now so i hope i can rely on some community help.

i have learned about dissociative amnesia and with looking into it and talking to my boyfriend, it is definitely something i experience. more so i’m grey outs and emotionally speaking, based off how i saw it described but let me know if my terminology is wrong. i think with learning about this i am going to start journaling again cause although sometimes it makes me feel even less connected, it helps my memory greatly and i feel like that’s a shot worth taking. other than journaling though i don’t know what to do, every other habit i used to have only enabled my ocd worse (checking, constant screenshots, hoarding anything with even an ounce of information on it). so i really need some help with how to cope with this.

my other issue is i forget where i am sometimes, i have crushing moments where i think i’m in a childhood home, hours where i forget what state i’m in while out running errands. this has been an issue since i was 12. at 12 i moved across the country to california, then at 16 i moved back across it to chicago, 18 back to california and late 19 to florida. i also had a pretty abusive childhood, physically, verbally and emotionally, with an extra helping of neglect. i know this has everything to do with it, but i don’t know how to cope. i don’t know how to ground myself, it just makes me feel even more disconnected.

when i was 13 i had a psychotic break caused by vivid nightmares, it triggered hallucinations that have lessened greatly but still happen from time to time. i have trouble figuring out if things are dreams or real, if information is from a dream or something that really happened. i find every way to gaslight myself in both directions no matter what i try. if i have a dream someone died, i’ll be convinced they really did die until i see many things as firm proof. sometimes i don’t know if i’m awake or dreaming.

i do not think i have DID or OSDD as i don’t run into too many identity issues (as a genderqueer person, it’s hard trying to figure out what’s a dissociative feeling and what’s a dysphoric feeling). it is worth saying however that i sometimes do find myself using “royal we” for myself and even using they/them (in a plural sense) for myself despite Literally hating they/them for me. i do struggle figuring out How i want to look, realizing i don’t look how i Think i do, and so on. i also tend to run into holes where my name (chosen or given) Doesn’t feel like mine after a few months, but again this could all be queer feelings and not mentally ill feelings, but if i’m letting it all hang out on tumblr dot com i might as well really commit and put it on the record. just to get other peoples thoughts on this because hey maybe it Does sound like DID/OSDD to someone who has it, maybe this sounds relatable as a Pre Realization feeling to someone who is now fully aware of it, i don’t know, i just want any and all help with this Whole problem. but again i genuinely do not believe i have DID, based off how friends describe it, and what i’ve researched, half of it doesn’t sound relatable at all.

as i’m sure you can see, it’s hard to live like this. i don’t want to Not live, i quite like living. i’m 21 now and live with my amazing boyfriend who is so much help. but i need something more and i can’t afford it so if anyone can relate, or knows anything that can help, please let me know!! i use discord too if you want to connect on discord! i am desperate for any sort of help with this.

[csmeaner]

WARNING: GROSS

Might as well submit this now so I can take a break off the blog for a bit after digging up that Densy shit.

So, I'll bite: /post/694191943132053504/who-is-jesse-and-why-does-everyone-hate-him-so 

post related

posts tagged jesse

Gross stuff at the end.

I wouldn't say I hate Jesse, exactly. That would imply he takes up a lot more active space in my head than he does. His antics, however, do live in the more passive part of my brain and no amount of sandpaper's gonna get that out, so I, uh, am not fond of the guy.

1. Hides behind his mental illness as an excuse to be a POS. Was Jesse mean to you? Did he blow up at you? Was he a shitty friend? Is he bitter as fuck? Does he only talk to you when he wants something? Well, he has mental illness so he has an unspoken expectation you just shrug your shoulders and move on. (In his response to the CCCat-Peakit thing, it read to me like he was explicitly expecting it. You'll have to decide for yourself.)

2. What he did to his "friend", Caravan. While she was around, he was happy to receive gifts from her and defend her. But the moment they had a falling out and he was, like Densy, sure Caravan was gone, he sent screenshots of their personal conversations to Densy. 

I don't care how much you fucking hate someone. Private messages between someone you call a friend should stay private unless there's a very good reason for them not to (ex: someone's telling you they're going to end their life). Print them out and burn them if you need catharsis.

It's also super hypocritical. Caravan was one of the most blatantly mentally-ill people I've seen whaling in CS but because she made Jesse mad, he's excused himself for doing it.

3. He's caused trouble in other communities. Since it's not CS, I won't go into details. He's so aggro and unwilling to back down from anything.

4. Some people still hate him from his hoarding and foddering days. He was never Caravan-level, but he was just about everywhere like her. At least he was usually fair about trades.

5. Mad shit-talker in general. Oh the shit he published following the initial days of the 20K Grem callout. I bet if Caravan released some of her private chats with Jesse, we'd see some real tea.

BUT THE BIGGEST REASONS

6. I'm uncomfortable with his thoughts about minors given how he tried to talk around himself for having a relationship with a 16 yr old when he was 19 yrs old, and how he visited this 16 year old and they "kissed and mildly fooled around". His background story is eerily similar to Soyu-k's. Warning for talks of CSEM and abusive religion: https://archive(.)ph(/)oc1M0. Further response from Jesse (same warnings, just to be safe): archive(.)ph(/)IdG27.

I really don't know how to feel about the last two links. On the one hand, maybe he didn't know, and he's open (as far as we know) about it? Then again, he only came out with it when he couldn't deny it anymore, like Soyu-k. But everyone is different. There's just something about both those posts that doesn't sit right with me. You'll have to decide for yourself.

To be clear, I don't think Jesse is dangerous. I think he's a narcissist (in the general sense, not the personality disorder sense) who's willing to...wriggle around a bit to get himself out of something he'd never forgive someone else for.

7. Related to the above, he has one instance (one is all it takes to make me hate you) that I know of what looks like graphic pro-shipping material in his Toyhouse, which was drawn by his boyfriend(?), Xiphos. Censored version (warning as it's still pretty rancid if you're sensitive to this sort of thing): pasteboard(.)co(/)FnTM1kmrVlmU(.)png.

I know someone who archived the original, uncensored image. I'm not in the mood to dig it up for obvious reasons but lemme know if you just HAVE to see it. And I'll get back to you in a couple days. Or go look it up for yourself before it's inevitably hidden.

It seems clear from the TH profile that the character is intended to be an adult and the image should be interpreted as "size play" or maybe "macro". Knowing how some people treat size play/macro, I avoid people who draw it out to this extent. The character in this image has borderline-child proportions.

Actually, Jesse seems to share Xiphos's tastes in general. For example, this naked human's encounter with a rather large anthro. Censored version: pasteboard(.)co(/)Z5MXE9Cqnnz4(.)png.

Again, I know this is supposed to come off as size-play or macro, but it's something that comes down to your own perspective. Is it bestiality to draw a human having, um, relations with a giant anthro? Is it nasty or just incredibly weird? That's for you to decide.

As for me, I'm going to go play video games or something and hope this heartburn goes away.

[solitaria-fantasma]

Um for the Super Ghost AU I am just imagining that The Question managed to figure out basically everything about Gawain and the Mystery Skulls, but instead of it being his paranoia getting to him it's because he accidentally learned Gawain was a ghost, wanted to learn why he's a ghost and then he was going down the rabbit hole and by the time he climbed out of it he's just wondering what is Gawain's life, unlife, whatever and the life of his brother. Just, this came to me and refused to leave.

((*cracks knuckles*))

Question hadn't seen sunlight for nearly six days, and it had finally paid off.

He leaned over his hands on the edge of the desk, staring at the pin board before him. It was crisscrossed with color coded strands of yarn, and little push pins that held up photographs, newspaper and magazine clippings, and printed Internet screenshots. It wasn't the most complicated web he'd ever built, but it tied up neatly, and that was enough. Not every mystery had a a million twists to unwind.

The trail started in London, England, and stretched all the way across the Atlantic to a tiny town in Texas, USA, barely large enough to be a speck on a map. He had birth records, school enrollment records, science fair awards, promotions, Visa applications, mortgages, home appliance purchases, swing dance trophies, company picnic photos, a missing person's report, and an obituary, all leading to a giant question mark scribbled over a photo of a young blond man, with the word 'whereabouts?' written beneath it.

This photo connected to the next item in the chain with a quick arrow of blue, and another long, arching arrow connected a birth record from earlier in this leg to the same thing - a newspaper article from that small Texas town, talking about the mysterious case of a young boy with amnesia being found on the steps of a local restaurant. There was an article about the boy's adoption just a few months later, and then another article congratulating three local kids and their dog for solving a small time mystery.

The chain ran through several articles like this one, and the kids grew older as their mysteries evolved from misplaced mail and lost pets to package theft, poltergeist activity, and cryptid sightings. More and more, the articles talked about ghosts, creatures of urban legend, and even sightings of demons and occult activity. Around 2008, the newspaper articles became printed blog posts, and seemed to be written by the kids themselves.

Question laughed quietly to himself. Kids after his own paranoid heart, all three.

The articles came to an abrupt halt in 2014, with a missing persons report for the amnesiac boy (now an adult), and a series of articles about a groundbreaking prosthetic limb, developed by a genius young man who tested his prototype on himself after tragically loosing his own arm. There were a few more articles about the prosthetic, and a few photos to go along with them that showed the blond man from previous articles, and then there were a few clippings of local tabloids from a truck driver who swore he'd been carjacked by 'a flaming skeleton with great fashion sense'.

There was silence for a month or two, and then concurrent newspaper articles and blog posts about the miraculous return of one Lewis Pepper, thought to be dead from the same tragic caving accident that cost his best friend his arm. The blog posts about the supernatural returned, and the prosthesis research seemed to slow down. Coincidentally, a young man named 'Merlin Knight' with an eerily familiar face was hired at the local auto shop.

Question wondered if the entire town was playing dumb, or just stupid. The only real change was the clothing, and that long blond hair being braided.

This employment record connected all the way back to the obituary from the first leg of the chain, and proceeded on to connect with screenshots from a social media account of a robotic body, and the building of what would be, within a few month's time, the town's own local hero.

Question breathed out through his nose. A local hero who would go on to help save the world, and found the Justice League itself. Had that been part of the plan?

The web wrapped itself up quickly from there. Supernatural skills and abilities not possible by modern science, knowledge of other realms and creatures only known to mythology, and the tiny little clues he'd been hoarding and observing for a full year all pointed to the same conclusion. It wasn't as fantastical as it sounded, in all honesty, though Green Arrow had looked at him stranger than usual when he'd first said his conclusion out loud.

There were legitimate aliens, sorcerers, and demons in this reality - why not ghosts, too?

There was one final piece missing from the web, however, and he was out of clues to tie in. There was a near twenty year gap between the last known sighting of Gawain Kingsmen, and the appearance of 'Merlin Knight'. What had the man been doing for all that time? There had been no sightings of anyone even remotely matching the appearance of Gawain or 'Merlin' anywhere in that time, and without even the slightest whisper of a rumor on an Internet forum or library archive, there wasn't much more he could do to find out.

Question straightened up from the desk, and rolled his shoulders to try and stretch them out. There was no way around it.

He was going to have to get more...direct from here on out.

.......

"What does a dead man do for twenty years?" Gawain froze with a potato wedge half-raised to his shoulder at the question, and Bran - unwilling to wait for her snack - leaned her head down to snatch it up anyway. Gawain turned his yellow LED eyes over to Question, who had planted himself in the chair across the table without so much of a 'hello', and tilted his head.

"...I'm sorry," He apologized. "But I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"I know you do." Question leaned one elbow on the table. Bran nudged Gawain's still-raised hand, hoping for more potatoes, and the hero absently picked up another wedge to feed to her. "I know most people believe the 'advanced AI' cover story, but I'm not most people. I know you're a ghost possessing an armored suit like that old anime." The potato wedge vanished, and Question wondered if the little ghost was actually eating it, or just storing it for later.

That was a mystery for another time, regardless.

Gawain had turned to face him fully, now, and his two other ghostly companions were now peeking out of hiding from behind his shoulders. They weren't hostile, but their stares were, nonetheless, intense, and Question smiled behind his mask. He knew he had their full attention, now.

"How did you find out?" Gawain asked, keeping his voice low.

"I saw you from the ground in that fight with Mr. Sorcerer Superior, Magnus Creed." Question replied. "You ran into that warding slip like a bird into a clean window. A robot wouldn't have been stopped by mere paper and superstition." Gawain tilted his head slightly to one side.

"Some superstitions hurt." He argued, just the slightest bit defensive. "...what was your question, again?"

"What does a dead man do for twenty years?" Question asked. "There's a two decade gap between your presumed death and your reappearance. You could stand to work on that secret identity, by the way." He advised. "Someone's going to notice your resemblance to a dead guy from twenty years ago, if you ever let down your hair." Gawain's LED eyes narrowed, and one of the spirits - Chopper, the one with the upright spines - hissed in response.

Vixen walked by with John Stewart at her side, and both Chopper and Gawain made a visible effort to drop any outward signs of irritation. Question remained where he was. People were used to seeing him tense and suspicious, by now. It wouldn't raise a single eyebrow.

"...I was lost." Gawain spoke up quietly once Vixen and John had passed out of earshot. "I woke up in the middle of an unfamiliar forest, and I just couldn't get out. Not for a while."

"You were lost in a forest for twenty years?" Even Question sounded skeptical. "I've seen what you're capable of. You should have been able to handle a little thing like being lost."

"It was ten years," Gawain retorted sharply. Bran raided his plate for the remaining potato wedges. "And I wasn't just...born being able to do that stuff. I had to grow into it. I had to learn." A strange gust of air blew past the table, scattering someone's forgotten paper plate and napkin to the floor, before Gawain unclenched his fists, and visibly calmed down. Question still didn't move.

"Death...does things to you." Gawain lowered his voice again. "To your mind. You can't think straight for...a long time - and that's if you're lucky." He lowered his hands to the table, and Bran automatically wound herself around one arm with a pleased sound. "I found my way out of the forest after ten yes, and then I went...home. To Tempo."

"Your parents had moved away by then." Question knew. He knew how the story of the living family had played out, from there. "Your brother was living with your uncle, and your friends were off at college." Gawain's shoulders drooped, and the third spirit - Griflet, if he remembered right - patted at the side of his helmet sympathetically. Chopper was still glaring at him.

"They had." Gawain made no effort to hide the disappointment in his voice. "I guess I couldn't fault them for not wanting to stay in town after all they went through, but back then, I didn't know it had been ten years. It only felt like a few days, to me."

"That must have been difficult." Question said, and he meant it. Sympathy wasn't really his thing, but Gawain was being cooperative, so it was the least he could do. "And the other ten?"

"I was hiding." Gawain laughed humorlessly. "I somehow convinced myself that my family-...that my brother, and my uncle, would be afraid of me, if they saw me like that, and I just...never came forward." He shrugged. "I just sort of watched, and listened, and followed them for another ten years, and I thought that was pretty good, you know?

"I couldn't interact with them, sure, but at least I could still see them. It was...better than nothing." The hero fell silent, for a few moments, and then looked Question in the eye. Or...as close as he could get. The featureless mask tended to throw off people's frame of reference for facial features. "What are you going to do now?"

"Absolutely nothing." Question casually leaned back in his own chair. "I've already put the pieces together. This was just the last piece I needed to finish the story." He stood up, and pushed the chair in under the table. "This time, I just wanted to satisfy my own curiosity." Gawain seemed surprised, and remained sitting as Question walked out of the cafeteria.

He could feel four pairs of eyes burning into his back, but for once, being watched didn't bother him. Curiosity killed the cat, they said, but satisfaction brought it back, and Question was very much satisfied with this answer.

Now, he could focus on more important matters...like the long-ignored connection between Girl Scout cookie sales and the appearance of crop circles in Midwest America.

[indigoelfinspirit]

All the odd numbers, please :D

All the odd numbers hmm? You would do that to me 🤣 1. how big is your mods folder? I think it's almost 3gb? Which is huge for me. I had to be super careful about package sizes with my old laptop, so I have lots of little things. 3. what is your favorite challenge? I love BPRs (which might be why I have multiple 😅). I will read any and every BPR I can get my hands on. I just don't follow the rules. There are a few cute new challenges I want to try, but I always come back to the BPR format. 5. what type of cc do you hoard?   All of it? 🤣 Um... the largest offenders that are my must downloads are skin details and tattoos. I also have a fondness for houseplants, kitchen clutter (I love the Snowy Escape cabinets because I can clutter the shelves), and rugs. 7. how many urls have you had, and what are the meanings behind them? Oof. Coming after all the secrets. So My main has a double meaning. Indigo Elfinspirit has been my online moniker for a while. Indigo for actual decades, and Elfinspirit for about 8-9 years. Elfinspirit is a combination of the fan club names for my two favorite Kpop groups Super Junior (E.L.F.) and Infinite  (Inspirit), but it also means elf in spirit because I absolutely love Elves and Fairies and Shee (if you couldn't tell from my berry elves running around everywhere). My other urls are not so special. @Elvinarchive is just a place to keep things for simblreen or other treats that I don't want on the main page. Though I have thought about actually using it to archive things someday. @Elveinposelibrary is me keeping to a theme. It is literally just the place where I reblog poses I think I might need someday and for some reason people follow it... 9. who is your favorite storytelling blog?   Dangerous Question. I have a lot. @simmancy's Pastel Pastilles was my first BPR and I will always love it. @simblrinterests Light Family Legacy is probably one of the best written one's I've ever read. It is beautiful, and painful, and magic. Jex and Kit's stories are my inspiration. Jex's made me want to write my own BPR, and Kit's mix of fantasy and personal experiences inspired me to write Starfall with all the personal messy experience mixed in. So blame them the next time things take a turn 😉 Everything @samssims does is just pure joy in a post, and makes me happy. @tainoodles is posting again and I am loving every second of it. Then there's the little story called Mimic that is everything my sci fi loving heart could hope or dream of. The days it posts are magical. It also has this really bad habit of making me want to do a Sci Fi story, but I don't have the time to make it look right. Literally I think I've start a sci fi save every other time you've posted a Mimic update in the last 3 months. 11. how do you edit your photos? I don't.  I am notoriously lazy. I don't use reshade. I only crop or occasionally turn a photo black and white when I absolutely have too. I did edit one photo properly in photoshop for Sam's love photo challenge. I have learned how to use tab mode and my new laptop is capable of running poses in game (and a real graphics mode) so the photo quality is at least going to get better. 13. what do you do when you are unmotivated? I start a new save 🤣🤣🤣. Or I pick up an old one. Usually either option involves taking tons of screenshots and posting them on discord and talking about posting them on tumblr, but never actually doing it because I always end up missing Starfall and Rusty and go back to working on Starfall and Halcyon Days (I literally have two AU saves where Rusty gets a long and happy life, because he is my favorite... don't tell the others).  15. who is your current favorite sim that is not by you?  Questions that are impossible to answer hmm? I will take Atlas from @lazarish‘s story almost anyway I can get him. I love Jack from Jex's legacy. Rae in @ancenth's NSB is adorable. Oh, and Tharen, Hal, and Freddy, of course. I have a real weak spot for Tharen, and I ship Hal and Freddy something fierce.    17. do you talk about sims with people in real life?  Never actually. I have practically no life outside work, tumblr, and discord. Simblr is how I socialize and I have met some amazing people on here. (Lest ya'll worry too much I do have irl friends but with the pandemic and my crazy job and the fact that we're now spread across the country we don't physically see each other too often. I'm not like a weird hermit or anything).    19. how many posts do you have on your blog currently?    934 👀👀👀   21. how many posts are in your queue currently?   7, I rarely queue more than 3-5 days in advance because tumblr screws something up if I do. In this case I just haven’t queued next weeks posts yet.     23. are you in any sims related discord servers?     Just one really awesome one.    25. how many hours have you played sims?      Nobody knows... I have played on 3 different laptops in the last couple years, and the tally doesn't transfer. I think I was at 500+ hours on the one I used during the pandemic.     27. what’s the farthest you’ve gotten in a challenge?     LMAO challenge? Me? I don't actually follow the rules or play challenges as challenges, so it doesn't actually count. I technically haven't gotten past Gen 1 yet in any of them. Though I am so close to Gen 2 in my Starfall save like I can see the finish line

[stevenbasic]

I know there are guys like this, Melissa thought to herself, guys like this all over the place. Guys that collect pictures of girls, built girls, save them all on their computers to do...ewww...whatever it is they do with them. She had some guys like that, still, she knew, as Instagram followers, even on her new, now-private profile. There was a smattering of guys, she knew, who basically stalked her, perved over her every post. She tended to indulge them, from time-to-time, throw them a little bone here or there, some cleavage, whatever. It was fun, for a while, she’d get a kick out of it, casually teasing these guys who simped for her. But it had kinda gotten old. Now it was more her friends who seemed to love it, love seeing it, love laughing at the guys. It was harmless enough fun, and these men were just sorta silly and pathetic. I just didn’t think Dr J was one of them…

She had needed to see for herself, have some time to process. It was eight AM but she’d needed to see for herself, all these pictures of her that Randi and Marisela told her he’d supposedly been hoarding on his office computer. On a Tuesday like this one she’d have plenty of time; he’d be doing his rounds at the hospital until mid-morning, when he’d return to the office. She’d closed his door so she’d be undisturbed as the other girls drifted into work. Melissa knew she needed to come to terms with this, and see what was on his computer for herself, especially after what Marisela had told her about what was going on….that kinda made her mad, too.

Okay, there it is, right where Marisela said it’d be, she thought. On his hard drive, the folder labeled “Protected”. Let’s see if this password works...

oh, my…

For some reason Melissa had found herself earlier this morning, while getting ready, almost unconsciously putting on heavier makeup, applying more layers of gloss and lipstick than she knew she should. She’d found herself pulling out a striped red dress, one that cinched too tight to her waist which - despite everything else getting bigger these days - seemed to be, if anything, slowly disappearing. This dress clung too tightly to her torso, she realized, its horizontal stripes only emphasizing the size of the bust she’d packed tightly this morning into her new, bigger bra. This dress was also wayyy too short, she knew, revealing too much of the long, flawless legs that she’d tanned to a deep olive in her week in the sun, sculpted in the gym to heavily-muscled perfection. It covered her overly-shapely rear, she also knew, but left little to the imagination as to its full size; her ass had grown huge, recently, and this dress surely did nothing to hide that. The heels she chose - yellow and too tall, really, to be appropriate for the office - would only highlight the muscle tone of her already large calves, make her glutes look even fuller, shift her weight to pull her shoulders back, further emphasizing her bust and exaggerating the already unmistakeably feminine aspects of her gait. Her hair, as well, she’d fluffed out more than usual this morning...why? The one thing she found herself foregoing, though, was perfume. I’ve been making enough of that myself, already, she’d thought, I don’t need it.

Oh, no, look at all this, Melissa lamented, finally opening the folder labeled “Melissa” and then audibly gasping at its contents...countless pictures of her. Where did he find it all? How much time has he spent collecting these?? She began to scroll through the thumbnails, everything from current images grabbed from her Instagram to old modeling pics he must have found in the internet to...where did he ever find these ones from Hooters?!?

Suddenly she was overcome when an image of him - sitting in this very chair, looking at these pictures and rubbing himself, sliding his hand into his pants - flashed into her head.

Is that what you do with these? Why else would you be...collecting them? Oh, Dr. J...not you, too?

As she marveled, wide-eyed, beginning to grasp the enormity of his collection, of just how many pictures of her he’d accumulated, it dawned on her: he also has dozens upon dozens of pictures of her in a bikini, from the past week - on his ph-..oh, wait. Oh god. He’s downloaded them all into here already...there’s a whole folder, a new one, called “conference”. 

Part of me wishes they never told me...

She flashed back, for the moment, to early yesterday morning, Monday in her new office with Randi and Marisela…

“...we got in last week, finally, Marisela cracked it,” Randi had said, “I just knew he’d have a porn stash. But that there’s so much of YOU in it…?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Melissa,” Marisela had added, “The guy’s a total perv. We’ve known that for years…”

If nothing else she marveled, as she scrolled through the thumbnails, at his diligence, I haven’t seen some of these in ages. 

Another image flashed into her head, again him sitting at this desk with these pictures - god, he’s much smaller than me, isn’t he? He wouldn’t fill up this chair nearly as much as I do -  with his pants unzipped, pulled down his hips, he’s groaning. Looking at these pictures, zooming in on that one. 

His legs are so skinny compared to mine, she thought, as she felt her own body unconsciously flexing, his arms and shoulders so thin and weak. 

Why...why did this make her shiver a bit? Why did her mind keep picturing him...wanting to see him when he’d opened up this folder and started to-

But he shouldn’t be doing this! It’s like cheating on his wife. No matter what’s going on between him and Sheryl, he’s still a married man. Melissa could understand why Sheryl’d be mad. Yes, but…

Melissa flashed back again...

“Why are you so shocked?” Randi had asked her, “They’re all like this, every single one. Every single boss you’d ever had.”

At first, she admits, she was shocked. She couldn’t believe what they’d told her, shown her with the screen caps from his desktop - it can’t be!! this is the honorable, upstanding, respectable Dr J!! He’s not like the rest of them, all those other guys, is he?? Obsessive, fixated...

After the initial shock, the disbelief, she got kinda angry - she took this job thinking she was going to be valued for her brains, education, skills. She thought this job would allow her to develop in ways that other jobs, with other bosses, hadn’t. She’d always been a special girl, different from the rest. She had a unique way, she knew, of “growing into the job” - it’s what her mother called it. “Rising to the challenge of a new endeavor” she’d said, become what would allow her the greatest success. Problem had always been, though, that the best way to succeed at her old jobs had turned out to be the same. At Hooters it made sense, even in high school. But with frustration she’d found the same thing happened to her at Nordstrom’s, at the DMV, and at the Dealership. Instead of getting smarter, learning more, becoming more able and capable, she’d just gotten...curvier. Added cup sizes, inches to her hips. This job, after finally getting her degree, was supposed to be different. But now, seeing this screenshot of dozens of pictures of her from her boss’ porn stash, she was finally convinced that, once again she was hired just for her tits. She knew, of course, that he’d found her attractive. That he, being just a guy, could be pretty easily manipulated if she set her mind - and hourglass figure - to it. That she could get what she wanted at the office, be successful in her new position, because of her appearance. That would explain the two - no, three - new sets of bras. Why she’d torn through her yoga pants last week. His tastes were for curves upon curves...lots of guys’ were. And she figured she was growing faster here than at the old jobs because, well...she had become his friend. She’d spent more time with him. She’d grown to, well...really like him, more than she’d ever really admit. So maybe there were other things fueling her, uh, developments. But, again - he was married!

It was so confusing!

She could help it, another image came to her. This time he was still here alone in his office, maybe after hours, doors locked, knowing he’s alone - but now he was blatantly jerking off, pants down, around his ankles. Jerking off and leering at these pictures of her, this time looking - ohh why is this doing this to me?? Making my heart race?? - even smaller. He seemed to be shrunken, a small, small man, wide-eyed and staring, unblinking, at his screen. He was grunting, like a little animal, and shaking back and forth with his efforts.

She flashed back again...

”I know, I know,” Melissa had said, bemoaning this new situation, as if she was grieving some loss, “I know I had him up on a pedestal. I know it was maybe unreasonable. But now….now what am I supposed to do?”

“Missy, relax,” Randi had replied, “Just think- who was able to take him down off of that pedestal? Who did he have pictures of on his computer in a folder that he’s accessed...look at this...more than -four hundred- times? You! You! Face it You got where you are not just through hard work at school. You did hard work at the gym, building yourself in other ways. Despite everything you rose up at Hooters, at the DMV, at the dealership. You are YOU, and that’s what’s bringing you all this success. You as a person, your mind and your body.”

”I guess you’re right…” Melissa had said.

“Of course I am,” Randi had replied, “Use it all, use all you got. Not just your degree-“ At that she’d reached out and grabbed Melissa’s huge breasts, hands sinking into her pliancy, “but these too! Women have to use everything they have to take what they can get.”

The next image, in her mind, was one where he’s dramatically smaller still: How did he even get into the chair? He’s so little... His feet, dangling above the ground, hovered over his pants, now in a pile. He’s naked, in fact, and he’s so small he can barely see over the desk to the monitor, can barely reach his mouse to scroll, to click, to open picture after picture after picture of her. His groans and grunts have changed to whines and he sounds so needy as he’s trying and trying and trying to-

Groaning herself, Melissa was nearly overcome with the thought, and had to catch herself from sliding her hand between her own thick, bare thighs. What was this warmth? What was this subtle swelling in her chest? Why is this doing this to me?!? 

She flashes back again

“I guess it can't be helped, looking the way I do...” Melissa said, still in half-pout.

 “Don't feel bad, Missy, this is good,” Randi said, as Marisela just watched, observing these two, trying not to judge, learning, “Look at these folders he has - it’s not all of you. Look at all these pictures, these videos. It’s...worshipful. He’s in sheer awe of these women, and you’re one of them.”

Melissa nodded, new wheels, gears in the machinery of her inner self that she didn’t know existed, cranking to life, beginning to turn.

“You can use this to your advantage - to our advantage,” Randi added, encouraging her friend. Though remaining quiet, Marisela’s own pulse had begun to race, listening, hearing the subtext, thinking back on the conversations she and Randi had had. For her own part, Melissa’s feelings were still conflicted. Petulant anger and outright female outrage were at odds with the genuine affection she felt for him, an affection that more and more had been turning into...something deeper. A tugging at her belly. Something rich and wonderful she saw blossoming, when she closed her eyes and thought of him...thought of holding, thought of-

“If he honesty gets off to this sort of thing,” Randi pressed on, pointing at folders in the screenshot image from his desktop, folders labeled “Breast Expansion” or “Amazons” - “if that’s what he really wants....well, Missy. You could make him the happiest man on earth...”

=========================================================================

Original morph in the first image by Migsanch, and help with some of the dialogue by Antares.

[silenthillmutual]

[ID: Anonymous said: this isnt like, a demand or request, just an expression of interest - you mentioned in your daniil-is-autistic post that you also think artemy is neurodivergent, and i would really enjoy seeing a similar post on that topic. thank you, have a nice day.]

(anon is referring to this post!)

i do have some thoughts that i would like to share about that topic! however comma, it probably will not be as in-depth as my post about daniil, as i am myself autistic and have had a couple years since being diagnosed to ruminate on places where that has affected my life, and so it’s easier to write about coming from a place of personal experience. i can do the same with depression, for the same reason.

i have a couple of ideas about what artemy could have:

adhd

ptsd

ocd

i won’t really be going into ptsd or ocd on this post because i feel like it’s more difficult to point the ptsd out (artemy doesn’t talk much about or flashback at all to being on the front) and because i think ocd should have its own post. it is severely misunderstood, even by other neurodivergent people. plus i think all four of the healers have it (or aspects of it), and this post is about artemy.

i feel like… something about the dsmv diagnostic criteria for adhd feels condescending to me, like it feels the way it’s worded places a lot of the blame on the person who has it? and some of the criteria like “fails to follow through on instructions”, “does not seem to listen when spoken to directly”, “has trouble holding attention on tasks” can depend greatly on the player. not as much of that is baked into artemy’s character and dialogue in the same way that social ineptitude, which is a core feature of autism, is baked into daniil’s character and dialogue.

with that being said: while i will include a few things from the diagnostic dsmv diagnositic criteria as listed on the cdc website, i am going to primarily be thinking about accounts from people with adhd. i have several friends with adhd (and i suspect that i may have it, though i’ve only come to suspect this recently and have had less time to think on it) whose experiences i will be taking into account.

other links to sources i am referring to: [adhd/autism venn diagram by tfw-adhd]  [what those symptoms look like in adults, by chadd]  [ptsd criteria on brainline]  [ocd criteria on beyondocd]

vague spoilers for pathologic classic & pathologic 2

very briefly & quickly: ptsd & ocd

the problem with going into it is this game is already a very difficult and anxiety-inducing world because of the plague and i’d argue that any of the healers could have one or both of these either before the outbreak or after it, so here are some things that stick out to me for

ptsd - overly negative thoughts or assumptions about oneself or the world (can overlap with adhd; artemy has the option to repeatedly blame himself for his father’s death), negative affect, feeling isolated, irritability or aggression, risky or destructive behavior, hypervigilance (any game that dabbles in horror aspects will expect this from you), difficulty sleeping (overlaps with adhd), depersonalization (this is a core aspect of the theatre theme of the game)

ocd - without going through the entire ybocs, i’ll just say that i think all three healers struggle with hoarding (understandably and by necessity) and hypermorality (all three protagonists believe they are the one and only person who is right, rubin is awfully judgmental of people who don’t abide by his personal standards). compulsions would be easier to point out in the game than the obsessions they are linked to, as we’re not exactly privvy to intrusive thoughts outside of the dreams. you could, however, say that artemy struggles with intrusive thoughts of causing harm even inadvertantly and argue that he takes measures to ensure that he doesn’t, won’t, and hasn’t. in classic, this is highly dependent on playstyle.

[this is my standard disclaimer that i have an official diagnosis of ptsd so i’m not just pulling this out of nowhere and am about 98% sure i have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and have researched it thoroughly.]

what’s built into the game: making careless mistakes, poor planning skills, time blindness / anxiety, executive dysfunction

pathologic is a game that sometimes feels like you’re being set up for failure. something that i missed talking about in my previous post is that it often feels like an autism/adhd simulator because it is, in classic, so very easy to screw yourself over and get locked out of an objective by picking the wrong dialogue option. while some of the correct dialogue options are obvious, others feel like a guessing game and you have to just hope you’re picking the right thing and have made a save file at the right place to go back and pick different options in the case that you’ve bungled something. hence, “making careless mistakes”. it’s a little bit easier in 2, as dialogue options that end a conversation are indicated with a diamond (thank you to whomever decided on that!), but it makes up for this by being unforgiving in other aspects. i believe the difficulty settings for imago state that the game is intended to be “almost unbearable” - and lots of people have difficulty completing it on the intended difficulty without cheats. (do not discourse about this on my post.) the game invites you to make careless mistakes and either live with or learn from them.

keeping this in mind, you’re kind of expected to have “poor planning skills” on at least your first time playing it. part of the game’s point is that you can’t do everything, and you can’t save everyone. not paying close enough attention or interpreting the instructions of the game just right in classic can cost you the lives of several of your bound.

that also feeds into time blindness & time anxiety. classic & 2 do these in different ways. in classic, you can’t run, so you have to hope you’re not busy doing something else or else hope that all of your letters come in at a time where you can hit up all the places you need to go, or you’re going to be cutting it short on time for the day. in 2, you can run, but there are far more sidequests to be completed than in classic.

i’d also argue that executive dysfunction is a core aspect of the game. you are very busy and very poor and items are very expensive, meaning that unless you know what you’re in for, either you or the town is low on resources or funds or time to do things like eat, sleep, and take care of your aches, immunity, and infection. all of which can be avoided if you don’t make careless mistakes, have good planning skills, and can manage your time wisely.

“interrupts or intrudes on others”

i don’t appear to have a screenshot of him doing this in 2, but he and daniil do have at least one conversation in which they keep interrupting each other. peak autism/adhd solidarity.

i do, however, have a screenshot example of him doing this to clara in pathologic classic

Haruspex: …Wait a second. If there was nothing but the great Bull, where did the stars and light come from? Changeling: Oh, don’t interrupt!

and as for intruding - khan feels that he does this frequently: intruding on him and capella at the station, intruding on him and notkin at the broken heart, and here he is intruding on kids at the nutshell:

We have so few places of our own - only a couple. And yet you feel the urge to impose yourself even here. Do you know what childhood is? It’s slavery. Herders treat their cattle better than parents treat their children. They lock us up like objects, mold us like statues, and still never take us remotely seriously.

he also intrudes on clara talking with block on day 11, either completely oblivious to the fact that he’s doing it or outright ignoring that he is.

“is often ‘on the go’“

i could say that this is one that is built into the way the game is organized, and it’s true! but his time spent with lara comes to mind. she’s not the only one to mention his restlessness, but i don’t keep screenshots of big vlad on hand so their day 1 dialogue is lost to the wind.

Aren’t you supposed to be terribly busy? I don’t understand why you keep coming. Or do you need my help again? I’ll wash your clothes. You’re filthy, like a chimney sweep. Revolting. While they dry, have some sleep.

“often fidgets […] or squirms in seat”

like with daniil’s body language, i don’t have any gifs to show to prove this. i’m really looking forward to seeing what idle animations he gets in the other two routes. for now i know that in the lucid dream, if you use flycam you can see him idling by swaying and rubbing his chin & that in other pantomimes he can be found constantly turning his head and looking around.

sleep problems

i don’t have the screen shot so just pretend that i do - he mentions this to the fellow traveler on, i think, day one when you go to the dead item shop. in either game, you can also only sleep for a maximum of six hours at a time, which is like..two hours less than the recommended amount, unless that’s changed.

little sense of danger & impulsivity

As usual, I act first and think later. I’ve made a panacea. But from what? What blood was that? Whose blood was that? To cure the Town, I’ll need to figure that out.

there’s actually no dialogue i can think of that addresses the danger of the situation he’s in - which is sort of the reason why i included it! though i am absolutely obsessed with classic artemy threatening grief, kingpin of the villains in town:

Bad Grief: That ain’t good! Got too soft a heart or something? Soft, eh… Well, can’t blame you. Haruspex: Got too hard of a bone structure? You watch it. I’ll break them in no time.

artemy has little to no problem offering to help daniil get ahold of organs and blood:

Bachelor: Exactly. I need tissues of a person who died of the Sand Plague. I need them today, right now! I’ve tried to get them at the cemetary, but failed miserably. The patrolmen are vigilantly watching over the dead. Haruspex: Would you like me to get you some? Bachelor: I’d reward you generously for that. Haruspex: Deal. I’ll do what I can, even though I still don’t have the right to.

‘even though i still don’t have the right to’ - he knows it’s illegal and could easily lose him reputation, but he jumps at the chance to do so. part of his route requires you being in constant danger, but later on there are options to tell daniil you won’t help him. this isn’t one of them.

in pathologic 2, you can also instigate fights with people by, to name a few: refusing to leave the house in the atrium where they have a person bound and gagged upstairs, not leaving barley the barber in grief’s lair, and picking the wrong dialogue option with the guys in the broken heart on day 11.

as referenced above, his impulsivity sometimes shows in the dialogue options you can choose. you can say things that clearly haven’t been thought through all the way. for example, this is what he says to clara bout her parents:

I wonder what you did to your old ones. There was someone gullible enough to adopt you?

and this is how she replies:

Clara: What? Why would you say that? I never even knew them. I’ve been an orphan for as long as I can remember. Artemy: I didn’t know. Right, that’s what I figured.

it’s not all that different from the sort of tactless comment a person with autism might make.

no motivation for tasks you are not interested in & hyperfixations

in pathologic 2, on day 3, daniil asks artemy to be his aide in developing a vaccine. artemy’s responses are all something dismissive and frequently quite rude. here’s the end of that conversation:

Bachelor: I will make the vaccine, but I can’t do it without you. All you need to do is be at hand and do as I say. I will take full responsibility for the situation. Haruspex: Perhaps I’ll drop by… if I have the time.

guess what never happens?

it’s understandable that the panacea is artemy’s main goal. what makes it stick out to me as a hyperfixation specifically is that, while a vaccine is daniil’s main goal, daniil manages to ask artemy about his progress with the panacea.

Bachelor: Anyway, how’s it going? Any progress?

the interest is never reciprocated.

emotional dysregulation & rejection sensitivity dysphoria

i personally think this is the most striking piece of evidence. every single perceived sleight can invoke a drastic reaction in artemy. just take day 3 for example - the perceived sleight here is the belief (based on no evidence) that daniil was snubbing him or trying to exclude him from the meeting:

Bachelor: Burakh. The situation is regretful. I just didn’t have time to warn you. Haruspex: This was ugly of you.

and then he proceeds to get into an argument with him. he can, in fact, get into snits with not just daniil, but with rubin and lara as well. i will not be taking sides in this, because who is right / who is wrong is not really the point, the point is how artemy responds to perceived sleights with increased emotional agitation.

when capella upsets him by telling him she’s taking the kids from under his care for their own protection, he can respond by comparing her to her horrible capitalist pig of a father:

You truly are your father’s daughter. Children always succeed their parents…

i can’t even remember what was said to him to get him to reply this, only that it was said to him by a teenager:

I’m a surgeon. Ever considered having your tongue removed?

he also holds onto murky’s repetitious “what is there about you to love? nothing. so i don’t.” and brings it up to her when she is infected with the sand plague on day 10. though it does bring the rather heartwarming line about murky having loved him from the start, my point remains that he has not been able to stop thinking about something murky has said that she has obviously already changed her mind about by this point in time in the game.

difficulties making & keeping friends

remember what i said about the interest in daniil’s vaccine not being reciprocated? yeah. friends, acquaintances, colleagues - they all kind of expect you to take an interest in their lives. this is where autism & adhd overlap, from my understanding - both can come with an inability to recognize social cues. in fact, i’m going to use the same example now that i used in my post about daniil (it is, after all, what inspired this ask):

Bachelor: From you? Oh, nothing. I was just sharing.

daniil thinks they’ve been having a normal conversation, but artemy hasn’t picked up on whatever social cues he’s been using. this could easily be on either one of them. though i will say, some of my easiest friendships as a person with autism have been with people who have adhd. which is why i’d suggest that daniil saying he’ll tell artemy about thanatica “the way i’d tell a close, intimate friend” is autism/adhd solidarity. despite initially not getting along, they are clearly able to communicate with each other.

i think the rest of this is really self-explanatory. despite being from the town in classic, artemy doesn’t actually appear to have any friends in it. could be a symptom of him having left much ealier (ten years ago as opposed to the five in pathologic 2), but in pathologic 2 his friendships are constantly under threat of spontaneous combustion. this day three conversation with lara sums it up nicely:

Lara: Ugh, whatever. Like it’s any of my business… Do whatever you want. Did you make peace with stakh? Artemy: Doesn’t look like it… Forget Stakh. I see now that I’m one step away from falling out with you. Why?

there’s a variety of reasons why his friendships are falling apart. but it occurs to me that there’s no mention of artemy communicating with his friends at all while he was gone, and maybe that’s contributing to it. this is not an attempt to pick sides (i think everybody’s wrong), i am just pointing this out.

adhd in adults: history of academic or career underachievement, relationship problems due to not completing tasks, chronic stress and worry over failure to accomplish goals, chronic and intense feelings of frustration / guilt / blame

artemy did not finish med school. classic has him described as a “vagrant scholar” traveling from town to town to learn instead of staying in the capital where he was sent (”always ‘on the go’” indeed). in pathologic 2 he simply states that he doesn’t have a degree and that he sucked at latin.

relationship problems mentioned under “making and keeping friendships”, but it should be noted that you can repair your friendships by completing a sidequest on day 3 to gather everyone together. 

“chronic stress and worry over failure to accomplish goals” is sort of the entirety of pathologic 2. you could say it’s built into the game, but artemy does express a lot of stress over not knowing where to turn for answers, has bizarre prophetic dreams, and is plagued by… well, the plague taunting him for not being to save his bound. both when notkin gets sick on day 4 and when all of the children get sick on day 10, he can express an extreme amount of guilt for not having the ability to cure them.

i mentioned under ptsd that artemy has a tendency to be able to blame himself for his father’s death, and i think that fits under here as well. there’s also this:

I get anxious thinking about my kids… Are they faring all right in the Lair without me?

conclusion

i do not know if i have adhd myself and i am sure there are things i am missing, especially as i have not completed artemy’s route in classic yet or started clara’s. feel free to contribute to this, i would love to see others’ input!

[purplesurveys]

1157

survey by hxcsingingsk8r

Phone Scavenger Hunt

First off, what phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.

And what provider do you use? It’s a local one you wouldn’t know about, called Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? I can’t remember if it would be 3 or 4 years this 2021. Either way, it’s definitely been a while and I’ve been itching to upgrade. It’s too early to make such a big purchase, though.

Do you have any cases for it? Describe them. I have a clear case that I bought last year. Before that, I had a pink Otterbox case that I managed to destroy even though Otterbox is normally known for its durability. I just have a very unique ability to wreck everything I’ve ever owned lol.

How old were you when you got your first cellphone? I was technically 6, but it was meant to be a present for my 7th birthday. We threw a birthday party a month in advance because my dad had to fly back abroad for work before my actual birthday, but we wanted him to be present at the celebration so we decided throwing a party early was the best route.

What about your first smartphone? [If the answer is different] It was an iPhone 5S.

How old are you now? Dunno what this has to do with the theme of the survey but I am now 22.

Okay, move onto the scavenger hunt part

What is your lock screen picture of? It’s of Kim Seon Ho at a restaurant, lmao.

Home screen? It’s one of the shots from a recent promotional photoshoot Hayley did for Good Dye Young.

How many pictures are thre currently on your phone? This question just made me so anxious hahaha. I have way too many photos; and upon checking, it turns out I currently have 6,266. My god do I need to clean up my camera roll this weekend.

How many videos? I have 227. I have no idea it’s gotten to be this many; I barely use my phone to take videos. I’ll go ahead and delete some of them right now, just to give my phone (and its storage) space to breathe.

What is your most recent picture of? It’s a work thing...I guess I’ll explain it so it can make more sense. So one of our clients has got this Lent campaign going on, and to spread word about it we’ve tapped a handful of food bloggers to try out the offers themselves and post about their experience on social media. Now that we’re in the middle of Holy Week they’ve gone ahead and uploaded their own posts, and I’m in charge of taking screenshots so I can show to the client that the execution had been successful.

And the most recent video? It’s a private vlog. Every Sunday, or at least every other Sunday I take a few minutes to sit down and do a weekly video thing where I talk about my ~mental~ and ~emotional~ status, and it’s basically a way to be in touch with myself and keep track of my progress. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get to uploading them one day.

Do you have any albums? If so, of what? Yeah. I have one for Cooper, one for Kimi, and a bunch of tiny albums I’ve made where I compiled 4–5 photos of friends to post on their birthdays.

What pictures have you favorited? I have a lot of favorited photos. There’s no required category for me to label them as such.

Do you have any shared albums with friends or family or work? No. I’m not sure if I can do that, or how to do it if it is allowed.

Do you have any alarms set? For what time and for what occasions? I have a bunch of alarms but only because they’re archived into the Clock app and I just haven’t gotten around to deleting them. When I was still new at my work, I used to have alarms set for certain work tasks I have to take note of every week – but now that I’ve gotten into the groove of things, I don’t need the alarms to be reminded about them anymore.

Check your weather app, what is the weather and temperature where you live? It says ‘Mostly Clear’ and shows a temperature of 26ºC.

Do you have the YouTube app? Do you have your own channel? I do have the app and my own account, but I never use it to post videos. It’s nice to have my own channel so that my homepage can be tailored to my interests.

Do you have an email app? Which one do you use? I just have the default Email app that comes with iOS, but I never use it because it’s so wonky. It doesn’t refresh new emails and it takes forever when it does, and it doesn’t always show the full thread of email conversations. If I absolutely need to check my email for something I usually have to pull out my laptop.

Does it say that there is an update available on your phone or any apps? Yes, it reminds me everyday hahaha. I don’t update unless Apple has been planning a big revamp with new features, though; and if the updates are just to address bugs, I disregard the reminders.

Go into your contacts, how many contacts do you have total? It says I have 178.

Name all of your contacts under the letter M: Feels a tad bit invasive, so I’ll just name five people I have under M: Lui, Kim, Patrice, Danika, and Andi.

Name all of your contacts under the letter U: I don’t have anyone under U.

Do you have any contacts that are businesses rather than people? Which ones? No, I don’t really use text to contact businesses. If I wanted to inquire or order from one, I usually head to their social media page.

Go into your notes, how many notes do you have saved? This is another one I have a hoarding problem with lol. My phone says I currently have 561 notes, though I’m fairly certain the biggest chunk of it comes from minutes I’ve taken down from work meetings. It was a whole lot less when I was still in school.

What kinds of things do you save in your notes? Like I said, I use Notes for taking down minutes from meetings. There are also a few surveys on there, from times I didn’t have internet and couldn’t post them on here.

Do you have any voice memos saved? What of? Yep. Some of them were recordings I had to do for journalism classes I was assigned to do voiceovers; some are interviews, also from my journ class; and the rest are of me rambling.

Do you ever use the calculator app? Pretty frequently for work.

Do you ever use the Maps app? Not really. If I needed directions, I would check out Waze for that.

Do you have any health/fitness apps? Which ones? I still have the Nike Training app from the very brief time I wanted to start working out earlier this year.

Do you have the Instacart app? The what now? I’ve never even heard of that.

What about a delivery service like Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub, Doordash? I have the McDelivery app for McDonald’s, but I also have other general delivery apps like Grab, Lalamove, and Transportify.

Do you have something like Venmo, Cashapp, or Paypal? I have the Paypal app but I never use it. I also have a couple of e-wallet apps just in case I’d have to use them as a payment method, since some businesses  I purchase from prefer certain ones. Ultimately, though, I use Grab’s mobile wallet the most often.

Do you use Bitmoji? I think I did before? I never used it all that regularly though. Didn’t see the point.

What other keyboards do you use besides English? Any? Filipino, Korean, and Emoji.

Which social media network apps do you have? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, TikTok, and Snapchat. So I guess I have all the main ones?

If you have Instagram, what is your handle and how many followers? I have a very private one I only use for work. I didn’t want it to have any followers but at present there’s Angela (because she asked to follow it this week) and Bea (idk why).

What do you typically post on the various social media platforms? The only ones I regularly post on are Twitter and Facebook, and on either I share life updates (if there are any) and memes; though on Facebook I have to watch out what kind of memes I share and make sure they aren’t too offensive because I’m friends with relatives, workmates, and media on there lmao. But on Twitter, I basically have no filter.

Do you make TikTok videos? I don’t make any myself, but I do enjoy going through the app.

Do you only add people you know on Facebook? Yes, for the most part. I’ve taken to adding people as long as they’re from UP or my high school even though I’ve never met them as well, but if I sense that they only added me to try and sell me insurance OR try to get me into MLM, then it’s an instant unfriend for me.

Do you have an app that tracks Instagram followers? No, because I don’t need to track my Instagram followers. I’m off the radar as off the radar gets.

Do you have a Snapchat? Yeah, it’s still on my phone just because but I literally never touch it anymore.

Do you ever take selfies with filters? What app's filters do you use? Eh, just before. I don’t really take selfies anymore, period.

Do you use any apps like Depop or Poshmark or Etsy? No. Out of these three I’ve only ever heard of Etsy, too.

What messengers do you use to talk to people? Any besides just texting? I have Messenger to stay in touch with family and friends; Whatsapp and Viber for work; and Telegram just in case my friends want to play games.

Do you have any photo editing apps? Which ones? I have this app called Foodie that has some pretty filters. Otherwise, since I’m not on Instagram anyway I’m never on the lookout for photo editing apps; no one ever filters their photos on Facebook and Twitter lol.

Do you have any games? Which ones? I do have a ton of games on my phone. I never play any of them, but I keep them just in case I get bored enough to start revisiting them. I have word games, drinking games, games similar to Heads Up! where one person will have to guess the word on the screen while the phone is on their forehead, and gimmicky games like 1010! and Candy Crush haha.

Do you have any rideshare apps like Lyft or Uber? I have Grab, which is a rideshare, parcel delivery, food delivery, and online grocery app all in one.

Now go to the actual phone app, whose phone numbers are saved as favorites? I don’t tag any of my contacts as favorites.

Who was your most recent outgoing call to? I can’t recognize the number, so it was probably a Transportify driver that I called to give him directions to my house.

Who was your most recent incoming call from? I also can’t recognize the number, but this time he was most likely a Grab driver.

Who was your most recent missed call from? Again, can’t recognize the number HAHAA

Why did you miss that call? On purpose? Were you sleeping? Busy? My phone is on silent 24/7, so I must have missed it while I was working.

Who is your most recent voicemail from and what's it regarding? We don’t have voicemail in the Philippines.

What was the last thing you Googled or searched on your phone? Candle tunneling and how to fix it.

What music app do you use? Apple Music? Spotify? Something else? I use Spotify, but I also availed of a 3-month trial on Apple Music earlier this year just because. I think it’s supposed to end soon but I have no plans to shift.

What playlists have you made on there? I have playlists called, “robyn discovers kpop,” “winding down,” “angst,” “not my loss,” and my personal favorite, “paramore but fuck you.”

Lastly, what is the most recent song/album you've added to your collection? What Type of X - Jessi.

[fatphobiabusters]

Fatphobia during Corona crisis

The following is a screenshot from my Facebook feed.

The caption says: „Something to think about... (angry and cursing emotes) Thanks to the person who drew this... A picture says everything!!!“

But no, actually no thanks to the person who drew this.

Look I get the problem. I’ve scrounged for things in the supermarkets myself, going from shop to shop to find just one item I need while I don’t even intend to buy any more than I usually do. Hell we‘re trying to have my dad’s funeral in two days and we don’t even know if we can give him the beautiful and dignified service he deserves.

But not even now are people able to forget their hatred for fat people. Is what this caricature shows a problem? Hell yeah. Is it coincidence that the people shown as the problem in this caricature are drawn as fat? Hell no!

This is really gross.

I’m in a situation where I don’t have running water right now (we’re hoping to get this fixed very soon) so we’re having to buy a ton of water and ppl were definitely giving me Looks before they started rationing the water. Now I can only buy as much as any other person which is not enough for a person without running water.

It sucks.

I try really hard not to vilify any one person I see with what seems like a lot of an item, but clearly some ppl are taking way more than they need. I really doubt it’s fat ppl overall, since we tend to be poorer and unable to afford to hoard.

We all know the media tends to equate fatness with a bunch of terrible things, so why not this, too, I guess. *frustrated grumbling*

-Mod Siarl

[curechocolattymilk]

Skyrim OC Questionnaire

Saw @jessaryss​ ‘s questionnaire in the tes tag & decided to give it a whirl w my current Dovahkiin!

BASICS

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Race: Argonian

Age: 26-28??

Pronouns: He/They

Eyes: Turquoise-ish

Hair: Red feathers

Skin: black/super dark green?? idk i was playing around w a race menu mod w this lad

Height: 5′7″ - 5′8″ (A bit on the short side for an Argonian)

Weight: 153 LBs

General Physique: Probably average? With a bit of beef since they swing around battleaxes/wear heavy armor

Tattoos, WarPaints & Scars? I’m just plopping down a screenshot bcus i suck at explaining em. Can’t see his scars on this one but they have three long ones over their left(?) eye

Yes I went edgy color scheme with him. No, I have no shame

ABOUT

Dragonborn: YES / NO

Werewolf/Bear or Vampire?: Werewolf time (yet to find a good werecroc mod tho :c)

Occupation: Adventurer, Thief, Listener, Arch-Mage, Harbinger, Mercenary, soon to be Legion solider, all-around bastard

Guild Association(s): TG, DBH, Companions, College of Winterhold & I believe that is it bcus i went back a couple saves in hopes to avoid a CW bug & lost a bit of progress in return oof

Favoured Weapon Class / Type: Two-Handed, Battleaxe

Favoured School of Magic / Type: DESTRUCTION. Tei loves himself some Fire n Lightning. The fire shout is his most used lol

Heavy Armor? Light Armor? Robes?: Heavy Armor

Place of Birth: Unsure still but I’m thinking of having them not have a Hist-connection/not hatching in Black Marsh? Seems like an interesting route but who knows

Place Where They Were Raised: Hammerfell till their teens (Tei was adopted), then they wandered around for a bit w a group b4 landing in Skyrim

Current Location: Since last save? Ivarstead I think

Education / Place of Study: He’s well-read/educated! Mostly learned the smithing trade under his family in Hammerfell, but snuck into a few academic courses during their travels in Cyrodil

Any Teachers / Inspirations? Tei has an elder brother who helped teach him the ropes of adventuring/survival. He helped kickstart the Argonian’s adventure drive.

PERSONAL

Patron Deity (if any): Mora & Hircine I’d say? He doesn’t really worship any of the Nine, though he acknowledges all of them.

Political Alliance (if any): They could care less for the warring factions, but the civil war is starting to inconvenience him, so for the sake of choosing a side & getting it over with, they joined the Empire. (The recruiters were closest & Tei really didn’t want to travel aaalll the way to Windhelm...never really liked the place anyway) Don’t expect him to be extremely loyal/treat them or the Dominion w any respect though lol

Strongest Skills: If going off ones that reached 100: Two-handed, Heavy-Armor, Destruction, Smithing, Speech, Archery

Strengths: Can take a hit physically; Pretty stealthy despite their armor type; Pretty much fearless, will take you head on

Weaknesses: Has piss-poor sense of direction when it comes to Dwemer/Nordic ruins; Pretty much fearless, not much of a danger sense so they can get pretty fucked up; Can’t tank spells that well, despite being Arch-Mage; Doesn’t have an issue following their Draconic or Werebeast nature/Can’t control nightly transformations

Spouses? Flings? Lovers?: Rumarin is their hubby. Though Tei & Ru are discussing among themselves about opening their relationship & adding Kaidan to it, if the warrior comfortable with the idea.

Thaneship (and of where?): Yes; Solitude, Whiterun, Dawnstar, & Falkreath. They’re worming their way into every hold they can though

Most Difficult Quest They’ve Been On? The whole Dragonborn quest was definitely a challenge he completed out of spite for Miraak. However, the Blood of Kings (3DNPC-Slight spoiler warning for the end of this quest? Maybe?) quest fucked w them a bit more mentally. Tei likes to act big & tough but having to acknowledge he’s the only one who went through/remembers all that did mess with them a bit. It’s hard to explain those dreams/nightmares.

Jail Time? So far? Just Cidna Mine because of the Forsworn Quest. Tei is pretty good at not getting caught/using his connections to get away with things.

Largest Bounty Held? I want to say around 5000+? Again, it was Markarth, they did not go down w/o a fight after that false accusation.

How Much Gold Are They Typically Carrying? Too much idk what to spend it on

How Do They Get Gold? Stealing, well-paying jobs, selling treasures they looted from tombs or found in dungeons, that sorta deal

Are Werebeings and Vampires Vile Creatures or Simply Misunderstood?: Simply misunderstood! Until you attack him then it’s game over for you. bud.

Do They Actively Hunt Dragons?: Not really, in a turn of events regarding this character. Part of it is because I just can’t find any spawning vanilla-wise post-Alduin, but for an in character explanation, Tei does feel a strong kinship with dragons. They won’t hunt them/kill them unless it’s a well-paying job/they challenge him first. Which...the latter happens often in the form of Assaults (Deadly Dragons is one fun mod). Hell, Tei refused to kill Paarthurnax. He respects the Dovah, even if he disagrees w the passive way of thinking, & goes to them often to meditate or talk. Not that anyone needs to know that.

Goals In Life? Honestly? Probably boost themselves up the ranks/collect more powerful artifacts for his hoard. If there’s a powerful figure he can challenge he will do it Figuring out how to turn into a dragon would be cool too, i guess

Deepest Regret?: Not hanging out with their kids (Ram-ku & Chases-Starlight) as much. They visit when they can but the urge to travel/explore can keep them away from home for a bit. So everytime they head back to Proudspire/Lakeview they have a ton of treats/toys/daggers to give the two.

Greatest Hope?: Not a shared fact with anyone, but deep down Tei does wish to retire comfortably, he jokes with Inigo that such an idea sounds boring but honestly? They wouldn’t mind it.

Most Embarrassing Moment: Rumarin caught him playing with the dog’s rope toys while in Werewolf form once. The High-Elf refuses to let Tei live it down

Flaws: They don’t really pick up on how rude they can be at times, or maybe they do & just don’t care.; Lack of personal danger-sense in battle/thrill of the kill can often lead to Tei getting some serious injuries if he’s not careful, his continued mastering of Restoration is from licking his own wounds. Sorta ironic considering he fusses over close teammates not being careful after opening up some more.

Fears: After the whole Blood of Kings debacle, Tei developed a deep fear of losing the reality they’re in/losing their loved ones. Alduin may have been defeated but the idea that any & all progress or events he went through can just be taken away regardless sticks with him. It may or may not drive his need to take out anything they deem as a big threat/challenge.

What Makes Them Happy?: Playing with their kids is a big one, Tei always makes times for games. Other than that it’s finding new discoveries/techniques about destruction magic or soul gems, reading a good book (or being read to, if he feels like asking Rumarin), being with his family in general, or going out for a hunt in their werebeast form.

Hobbies: Playing the lute, building his hoard some dragon behaviors just stick regardless of the body you’re in, smithing/creating little decorative daggers, treasure diving

Favorite Locations: Throat of the World/Paarthurnax’s Library (Mod), Lake Ilinalta, Apocrypha

Favorite Holds: Falkreath & Solitude

Eating Habits?: They’re not picky, but tend to prefer raw meat. It’s not an uncommon sight to see Tei just up n swallow a salmon whole while he’s swimming to catch the group some dinner.

Can They Cook?: they leave it to Rumarin if at home/the elf is traveling with them, but they can do it decently enough.

Favorite Food: Tei would kill for Ru’s seared-slaughterfish dish

Favorite Drink: Shein/Velvet LeChance

First Thing They Do At A Tavern?: Ask around for bounties/buy some food for the road

Sleeping Habits?: Due to the beastblood, Tei is very restless when they sleep, often tossing & turning. Ru holding them helps a bit, but on days where he travels, Tei just stays awake until he passes out in an inn/at camp from exhaustion seeing as they don’t toss around as much then.

Cities or the wilds?: The wilds

Pet Peeves?: Being stopped for bounties of like...5 gold. Like dude fuck off or he’s going to make that bounty go higher.; Followers bunching up/not letting them pass, Tei has places to be guys; Also really hates being grabbed/touched unless its close friends/family

Describe Their Bedroom or Home: Their bedroom is rather neat & tidy, same as any personal forge or storage room. Alchemy/Enchanting areas, or any place of study you should watch your step. Especially in the Arch-mages quarters, that place is a total mess.

How Would A Stranger Describe This Person?: A short-tempered, apathetic asshole through & through most likely.

Someone Close To Them? A snarky arse who actually is a bit of a softy with some rough edges. Tei’s no goody-two-shoes, & tends to tease, but he’s not cruel either, y’know?

How Do They Deal With Anger?: He tries to avoid lashing out at others unless they caused it. Usually cools off from big episodes by working at the forge, doing a big bounty or two, or using their Thu’um somewhere till their throat hurts.

How Do They Deal With Failure?: Tei gets broody, frustrated & fidgets with his claws/tail/feathers a lot. Over the years of their adventuring they understand failure is a fact of life, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get upset about it. Don’t take it to heart if they snap at you during this time, they don’t really mean it & just are mad at themselves

How Do They Deal With Loss of a friend or someone close?: Not horribly bad but also not in the best way, they immediately put walls up & avoid conversation for a good while, maybe even leave for a few days. While slowly working with this with the help of Ru & Inigo, Tei doesn’t like being seen in a vulnerable & would most likely brush the event off as “shit happens.” However, it’ll eventually get too much. A good example would be when they lost most of the Brotherhood due to Astrid’s betrayal; Tei would brush it off constantly if it was brought up, pushing it down. One day though, it hit him full force while prepping for a contract, he’s grateful it was just Rumarin there when it happened.

Go Into The Bandit Filled Cave To Retrieve The Lost Amulet For Some Simpleton, or Tell Them Nah Bye?: Depends if they pay well or if Tei can get away w keeping the item, but it’s mostly “Lol that sucks bro”

Opinions on Daedra?: He only respects/likes two (Hircine & Mora), but will shimmy up to the other princes for their artifacts

Companions / Followers

First Follower: Rumarin! Found the dude by accident while running around & immediately fell for the snarky fucker.

Have They Stuck Around?: I mean, the two did get hitched. Rumarin mostly stays at home with their kids now-a-days, as Tei is chasing after more & more dangerous “prey”

Something The Look For In A Follower (or do they hire anyone without question?): Hold their own & does what their told, mostly. The former is the proving factor for him (except in the case of Lucien...but they’re paying to tag along so I guess they can stay)

Followers Over The Years (or whatever amount of time): Rumarin, Zora Fairchild, Gor, Anum-La, Skjarn (but only once), Inigo, Kaidan, Lucien, & Hoth.

Fourth Wall

Any Must Have Mods To Play This Character?: Anything to help boost Argonian experience (Amazing Argonian Traits/Feats, Horns are Forever, Digitigrade Khajiit-Argonian Raptor, Bigger Argonian Tails....We need more Argonian mods), Ordinator, Apocalypse, Wildcat, Deadly Dragons, Real Bosses USSEP, Ultimate Combat SE, TK Dodge, Shout Overhaul. And while you don’t need it to play Jeer-Tei, the Racial Body Morphs SE is fun to help diversify everyone’s height! Until you realize you’re short as hell to most of your party.

Random Screenshot / Drawing: Here’s Kaidan & Rumarin stealing the bed in my bugged saves, gotta redo Kai’s quests again for this tho. F

Level?: 91 I think? First character where I grinded up via Alchemy & Enchantments for perk points for a good while. (Also started out as a light armor build but I quickly decided, “lets become a sneaky tank build!” mid-gameplay) I used to have the People of Skyrim mod on as well, which spawned waaay too many dragons (im talkin about none of them landing even after their hp hit zero bcus the ai got bugged w the amount spawning) & bandit mobs, so that helped too lol. Eventually disabled it though bcus my old laptop was struggling. 

Serious RP or Thomas The Tank Engine Dragons, Fart Shouts, and Kawaii Cat Girl Mods?: Serious RP, though I may add some sillies later

[where-is-francis]

Headcanons For Texting Peter Parker

Rules of My Blog

Pronouns: Not Specified (Female Aligned Readers DNI)

Prompt: Just some headcanons for texting the dork

Request: Nobody asked for this but ehhhh.

A/N: I’m really weird and I’m always interested in how people text, cause everybody has a different style. And also I’m Big Trash for Peter Parker so why not.

You guys love to annoy each other throughout the day

He likes to send actual snaps more than regular texts

Most of his snaps are him making stupid faces, occasionally with text on them to carry the conversation

It goes back and forth for a couple of hours

He holds the #1 best friend spot in your friends list

The boy is also surprisingly good at keeping up streaks, considering he’s always busy???

Most of the streaks he sends are of the view while he’s out patrolling

Such beautiful sunsets

Damn, the boy’s a good photographer

Not to mention like the biggest dork ever

“When they laugh at your science puns:” *cue a snap of him with a bunch of heart emojis around, like the wholesome memey boye he is*

You never use bitmojis unless they’re the really weird ones [EX: the one of you laying in bed with the dancing hot dog looming over you, the “believe in yourself” Bigfoot one, etc.]

But he uses emojis a lot. A lot.

Which prompts you to tease him

The group chat

Dear lord

The group’s name is constantly changing

Like a really bad game of telephone, the name gets more and more obscure each time

Some of the famous names:

“All of my favorite drug dealers in one group chat” (courtesy of you)

(Of course Peter flipped his shit and changed it in case May saw)

“Church Friends™️” (courtesy of Ned)

Weird contact names as well

Ned is The Holy One

MJ is Dr. Despacito

Pete’s changes the most often but it’s usually vine related (except for when he was Dorito King for a solid 3 months)

Ned’s favorite memes: the deep fried ones

MJ hoards reaction images

Peter is a Wholesome Boye™️

You specialize in cursed images

At one point Betty got added to the chat (? Still no idea how that happened) but she left after the spam of “Isaac Newton invented gravity”

That’s a whole other story

Peter left but got added back in

Multiple times

MJ is usually the one tagging the group in memes from meme pages

THE STUPID VIDEOS YOU SEND ON THE CHAT

“So, guess who was trying to make macaroni and dissociated for half a second and poured a bunch of water on the floor.” - you

“Have you guys seen that vine where—”

You and Peter screenshot/record basically everything

He sends you something (with him making a dumb face) and it immediately goes into your camera roll

Or the “blackmail folder”, as he calls it

He either replies in .3 seconds or 3 hours, and there’s no in between although it’s typically the first

When he’s been busy, his favorite thing to do is check what you sent him when he’s about ready to crash for the night

Your name in his contacts is something stupid that has to do with an inside joke

Not to mention the smile that instantly crosses his face whenever a banner with “[nickname] is typing...” pops up

Doesn’t matter how preoccupied he is, he always sends a quick “goodnight” before going to bed

And, of course, you feel like that’s the best way to end any night

(Ok I actually really like how this turned out. Feel free to send in requests if you want!!)

[tigerkirby215]

5e Frank West build (Dead Rising)

(Screenshot of Dead Rising 4 - Game by Capcom)

“I’ve covered wars ya know.”

In an attempt to branch out my builds beyond D&D I had a look through my Steam library for other games with interesting characters. While most of the games I play have pretty broad characters (Killing Floor, XCOM, Void Bastards... btw play Void Bastards it’s good) I eventually came across Dead Rising and all I could think is... “Yes.”

Frank West! Forever charismatic journalist, amateur craftsman, minor wrestling star, major anti-government conspirator, and part-time zombie. For “just a normal dude” Frank is capable of some pretty extraordinary feats, going up against countless zombie hoards with nothing but his wits and the products you’d find at your local shopping center... Helps that he can drop kick all day long without getting tired.

GOALS

Anything’s a Weapon - The core appeal of Dead Rising is the ability to use anything you find as a weapon, which Frank obviously needs to do.

Duct Tape it or Die - While it was more of Chuck’s thing Frank borrowed the ability to craft Combo Weapons and does it quite well. And obviously the only reason he survived a day in Willamette was his ability to weaponize golf clubs, sandwich plates, and cartons of orange juice.

I am the Ultimate Best - Frank is no pushover in his own right with some WWE superstar smack-downs and the endurance to run a marathon without getting tired. Because the original Dead Rising was made before stamina meters were a thing.

RACE

Frank is amazingly just human, and while the ending of DR4 says otherwise we’ll stick with Variant Human for now. You get an increase in two ability scores of your choice: increase your Constitution and Intelligence. You also get a Skill of your choice and you should take Athletics to run through the entire mall all night long. You finally get a Feat: take Tavern Brawler for proficiency in Improvised weapons and some unarmed damage and increase your Constitution again. And take whatever language it really doesn’t matter.

ABILITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - You need to be able to fight off a zombie trying to bite your face; being able to chuck them 10 yards is an added bonus.

14; CONSTITUTION - Frank takes a lot of damage in the Dead Rising games. Getting shot, run over, sliced up with a chainsaw, and receiving countless claw and teeth marks and still being able to march on takes a lot of hardiness.

13; INTELLIGENCE - Knowing how to attach chainsaws to a kayak paddle “safely” takes a certain degree of know-how, and you helped Isabella create a cure for zombism! But above all it’s a requirement to multiclass so...

12; DEXTERITY - Shrugging off a hoard of zombies trying to grab at you takes some evasive ability.

10; CHARISMA - Not extremely in-character (feel free to swap DEX and CHA if you want better roleplay but worse AC) but we unfortunately don’t need it for this build.

8; WISDOM - Jumping off a helicopter into a mall full of zombies wasn’t exactly the best choice, and I doubt I could call anyone who walks into a hardware store full of decapitated bodies “wise.”

BACKGROUND

Unfortunately there’s no Reporter background for 5e but thankfully Celebrity Adventurer’s Scion from Acquisitions Incorporated is pretty close to what we need. The main feature of Name Dropping will let everyone know that you’re Frank West, and that you’ve covered wars you know.

Replace the Performance proficiency with Insight but keep Perception to find the perfect shot. You also get two languages of your choice (pick whatever) and proficiency with a Disguise Kit to try on all sorts of clothes while surviving the zombie apocalypse.

(Artwork from Project X Zone - Owned by Capcom)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

We’re going to start this build off as an Artificer to get the ability to craft things as soon as possible. You get two skills from the Artificer list: take Investigation for some investigative journalism and Medicine to know what brand of orange juice to drink to cure all that ails ya. You also get an artisan’s tool of your choice and Smith’s Tools would be what you use to make most of your Combo Weapons.

You also get Magical Tinkering which lets you pick up a grab bag of random stuff from various stores. You can touch a tiny, non-magical object with your tools as an action to give it a variety of effects that are listed in the ability’s description. The effect last indefinably but you can have a number of them equal to your Intelligence modifier.

Speaking of Intelligence modifier that’s what we use for our Spellcasting. You get two cantrips of your choice and while you’ll get the ability to swap them out later on start with Mending to duct tape any of your weapons if they’re going to break and Light to turn your camera’s light on. But feel free to choose whatever cantrips you think will help and since Artificer’s get a lot of choice with their spellcasting I’ll just list all the cantrips and how I’d reflavor them for Frank:

Acid Splash could be you throwing a bottle of something nasty at the zombies.

Create Bonfire could be a Molotov.

Dancing Lights could be a toy helicopter or something similar providing the light.

Firebolt is a gun.

Frostbite or Ray of Frost could be a combo weapon with a toy gun and a fire extinguisher, chilling your foes.

Guidance or Resistance is a fatherly mentor slap on the back for good luck. <3

Mage Hand could be a drone, or alternatively one of those grabbing-claw toys that Nintendo used to make. Similar idea with Thorn Whip.

Magic Stone... chuck some shit at the enemy like you do in MvC.

Message could be a walkie-talkie or a cell phone.

Poison Spray is bad don’t use it.

Prestidigitation is your grab bag of stuff from the toy store.

Shocking Grasp or Thunderclap could be you weaponizing your camera flash.

Spare the Dying is emergency medical care.

Can you tell I like Artificer? Because I really like Artificer. Anyways you also get two spells of your choice: Cure Wounds will let you or an ally guzzle some life-giving OJ and Catapult will let you grab something heavy and chuck it at a hoard! But much like with the cantrips Artificers are prepared spellcasters so you can choose your spells at the end of every long rest, giving you the ability to choose what weapons you want at the start of the day.

LEVEL 2 - BARBARIAN 1

Quickly bouncing over to Barbarian for two reasons. The first is to get Unarmored Defense equal to 10 + your Dexterity and your Constitution. We can still use Medium Armor (and I’d argue you probably should use that currently) but while the knight armor is a post-game unlock and you usually wear a leather jacket (leather armor) you can skip the padding and let your muscles protect you. The other reason however is for Martial weapon proficiency - you need to use everything you can find and Frank swings a katana as well as a baseball bat.

But you also get Rage which lets you scream up at the heavens about the government and get some work done. While raging you have advantage on Strength checks and saving throws (both of which are needed for grapples), do extra damage with strength weapons (including your fists from Tavern Brawler!), and resist bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. It lasts for 1 minute but ends early if you end a turn without attacking someone or getting hit. You can also end it as a bonus action which you might need to do because you can’t cast spells while it’s active, so no OJ while you smash faces. You can Rage twice before having to take a long rest.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 2

Back on the Artificer train we finally get our Combo Weapons, or rather our Artificer Infusions. You know 4 infusions and can have 2 active at a time. You can choose which infusions you want at the end of a long rest so pick-and-choose what you need to fight the local psychopath.

For your Known Infusions pick the following:

Enhanced Weapon lets you stick some knives on the end of a broom to make it do more damage.

An Enhanced Arcane Focus meanwhile lets you improve whatever fire-spitter someone might be using to make it spit a little more fire.

An Alchemy Jug lets you carry around a variety of drinks (or mayonnaise) to mix in a blender for some juices and cocktails.

And the Pole of Collapsing from Xanathar’s Guide to Everything can actually be used by you as a weapon effectively since you have improvised weapon proficiency from Tavern Brawler. A 10 foot quarter staff is nothing to scoff at, and you can do a good Zero impression!

Truthfully though Artificers have a huge list of items they can choose from and I’d suggest taking whatever infusions your team asks for that would help them. The strength of Artificer lies in its versatility, and while Frank’s mostly alone in Dead Rising don’t let the Survivors in your party go unarmed.

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 3

3rd level Artificers get their Artificer Specialty and Alchemist is perfect for someone who makes combo cocktails as well as combo weapons.

Truthfully though the reason we’re going for Alchemist is because it’s the only one that doesn’t have a summon. The new Armorer subclass also works but that serves more for if you want to play as Exo-Suit Frank.

As an Alchemist you can craft an Experimental Elixir after a long rest with a set of Alchemist’s Supplies (which you also gain proficiency with.) You’ve got six possible cocktails to make: Healing is self-explanatory, Swiftness lets them run faster, Resilience makes them harder to hit, Boldness lets them hit a little harder, Flight lets them... fly (talk about fizzy lifting drinks!), and Transformation lets you get your zombie on with the Alter Self spell.

You get one after a long rest but you can craft another one by spending a spell slot of first level of higher. It’s up to DM’s interpretation if you can do this while raging but since it’s described that you make the elixir “magically” I’d argue against it. That, and you need some time with the blender to make juice.

Also on subject of spells you get Healing Word to shout some words of encouragement to your allies and Ray of Sickness to shoot them with the B.F.G and make them puke their guts out. You also get another spell slot and Grease lets you throw a bottle of shampoo on the floor to make your enemies slip and fall.

You also get The Right Tool for the Job which lets you quickly pull together any Artisan’s tools you might need. You need an hour to make the tools (which can be done over a rest) and they last until you use this feature again. Can’t find a maintenance closet? Just make the stuff on the fly!

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 4

Grabbing an Ability Score Improvement or rather a Feat since that uneven Strength score is bugging me: take the Athlete feat with an increase to Strength so you can run after the truth or away from a hoard.

You can also prepare another spell like Identify, so you can now exactly what you’re taking pictures of.

LEVEL 6 - BARBARIAN 2

Now that we’ve got our combo weapons and our cocktails it’s time to learn some wrestling moves. Level 2 Barbarians get Reckless Attack, giving yourself Advantage on attacks with Strength weapons but giving the enemy Advantage to hit you. A piledriver might get the job done but it does leave you wide open.

You also get Danger Sense, giving you advantage on Dexterity saving throws against effects you can see. Makes sense since you can dodge bullets if you see them coming but can still get outplayed by your protegee.

LEVEL 7 - BARBARIAN 3

3rd level Barbarians get their Primal Path and Path of the Totem Warrior is perfect for anyone who wants to bear hug their enemies. You get Spirit Seeker to cast the Beast Sense and Speak with Animals spells as rituals because this is meant to be the “naturalist” Barbarian but what we’re really here for is the Totem Spirit. You’re more than welcome to choose Bear like I know most people will but the most in-character option would be the spirit of the Eagle. Zombies have disadvantage to hit you if you run past them while raging and you can also Dash as a bonus action while raging, letting you run through a hoard of zombies and only suffer minimal damage. You can also Rage one more time before needing a long rest, adding up to 3 times total.

LEVEL 8 - BARBARIAN 4

4th level Barbarians get an Ability Score Improvement, and how about we finally get those wrestling moves? The Grappler feat gives you Advantage on attacks against enemies you grapple and lets you use your action to try to pin your opponent. If you do both you and the creature you’re grappling are restrained until the grapple ends.

LEVEL 9 - BARBARIAN 5

5th level Barbarians get an Extra Attack so you can combo two hits instead of one. You also get Fast Movement which increases your movement speed by 10 as long as you aren’t wearing Heavy Armor. The Megaman suit isn’t exactly aerodynamic...

LEVEL 10 - BARBARIAN 6

At level 6 Totem Warriors get Aspect of the Beast and the aspect of the Bear is perfect for anyone who wants to lift a zombie over their head and swing them around. Your carrying capacity for combo weapons is doubled and you have Advantage on Strength checks to push, pull, lift, or break objects. Technically this doesn’t include grappling and technically you can’t pick up people that you’ve grappled, but if you have a cool DM this would totally be the feature to let you chuck a zombie at another zombie. And an extra use of Rage (adding up to 4 times total) will definitely help with that zombie chucking.

(Artwork by Capcom)

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 5

Now that we’ve got all the WWE we need it’s time to improve our combo weapons. 5th level Alchemists get Alchemical Savant which lets you add your Intelligence modifier to any spell that heals or does acid, fire, necrotic, or poison damage. Speaking of which you now get access to second level spells, and the Alchemist list gives you Flaming Sphere which lets you kick a burning trash can at your enemies, and Melf’s Acid Arrow lets you chuck a Queen at an enemy’s face and have them sting them a bunch.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers get Tool Expertise, letting you double your proficiency bonus with any tools you know how to use. You can also prepare another spell like Pyrotechnics, letting you pop firecrackers in a zombie’s face to either blind them or use the smoke to cover your escape from a psychopath. You can also make two Experimental Elixirs are the start of the day instead of one.

But most importantly you learn two new Infusions and the number of Infusions you can have up at a time increases by one: Radiant Weapon finally lets you weaponize your camera flash and use your reaction to try to blind someone that hits you. Cloak of Elvenkind meanwhile makes it easier for you to sneak around and take pictures of military men talking about covering up the zombie outbreak. The government; it’s always the government...

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 7

7th level Artificers get Flash of Genius. If you or one of your journalism students are in a jam you can use your reaction to add your Intelligence modifier to an ability check or saving throw, and can do this a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier. Speaking of which...

LEVEL 14 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and we’re not getting Intelligence and are instead getting Constitution for more health and better unarmored defense.

You can also prepare another spell and you can’t go wrong with Heat Metal. Get a barbecue lighter and stick it in a zombie’s face!

LEVEL 15 - ARTIFICER 9

At 9th level Alchemists get Restorative Reagents. You buff your juice mixing power so the drinks give temporary hitpoints equal to 2d6 + your intelligence modifier, and you also carry some Zombrex with you to cast Lesser Restoration a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier. Lesser Restoration won’t cure a zombie infection but I’m sure it can delay it for 24 hours.

You also get 3rd level spell slots now and as an Alchemist you always have Gaseous Form and Mass Healing Word prepared... I have no reason why Frank can turn into a cloud of gas: is he a vampire? Is it nanomachines? Are we giving a regular guy the ability to cast spells? Yes.

LEVEL 16 - ARTIFICER 10

10th level Artificers get Magic Item Adept, letting them attune to 4 magic items at once and letting you craft common and uncommon magic items in a quarter of the time using a quarter of the gold.

But more importantly you get two more known Infusions (and one more prepared infusion) and it’s finally time to fix that Intelligence! The Headband of Intellect sets your Intelligence score to 19, and the Gauntlets of Ogre Power do the same to your Strength. It’s not perfect but you’ve always been rough around the edges.

You get another cantrip so I’d suggest grabbing Firebolt for a backup pistol, but with the Headband of Intellect on your head you can prepare three more spells!

Elemental Weapon will let you turn a weapon into a +1 weapon and make it deal an extra d4 acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage.

Haste lets you speed up your combos with some X-Factor.

And bouncing back to level 2: Rope Trick will let you open up a bathroom so you can save and take a break.

Note: If you’re starting at level 16 (for some reason) and want to give your character a better stat array an updated stat distribution will be posted after this build goes live.

(UMvC3 screenshot compilation by kiraDaidohji on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 17 - ARTIFICER 11

At level 11 with Artificer you get access to a Spell Storing Item. When you finish a Long Rest you can touch a weapon or one of your infusions to put a spell of first or second level into it as long as it takes an action to cast, even if you don’t have the spell prepared. Whoever’s holding it can use their action to cast the spell using your spellcasting modifier, and if it requires concentration they concentrate on it instead of you. They can cast the spell a number of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier (so 8 times if you’re wearing the Headband of Intellect.)

I’m not going to tell you what spell to put in the Spell Storing Item - look through the spell list yourself or search online for the best spell for the job. An Artificer’s strength is versatility and I can only do so much themeing without playing your character for you. (Pro tip though: Blur is god tier if you can give it to a Fighter or someone else with high AC who can concentrate on it.)

LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 12

12th level Artificers get another Ability Score improvement: cap off your Constitution for maximum hardiness, AC, and Constitution saves. Last thing you want is to lose concentration on a spell and then lose your liquor afterwards.

You can also prepare another spell such as Revivify to quickly stick a hot dog in someone’s mouth and bring them back from the dead.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 13

13th level Artificers get 4th level spell slots and Alchemists get Blight and Death Ward always prepared. Zombify an area, or alternatively stop an ally from going down to zombies. Or yourself: you going down to zombies would suck too.

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 14

Our capstone is the 14th level of Artificer for Magic Item Savant, allowing you to attune to up to 5 magic items and use them regardless of any restrictions the item might have.

But most importantly you get more Infusions and it should be mentioned that you can replace old known Infusions when you level up: replace your Gauntlets of Ogre Power with a Belt of Hill Giant’s Strength which is objectively better in every way. You can also make Bracers of Defense to further increase your AC and... hell, why not a Ring of Protection too? But once again I have to recommend you listen to your party for what they want you to make: don’t hoard your Infusions or the OJ.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Won’t Stop until I’m Dead - For my first tank build on this blog Frank is a remarkably good tank. Maxed out Constitution with Barbarian levels means your health will easily go over 200, and Unarmored Defense combined with Bracers of Protection and a Ring of Protection can put your AC close to 20, and you can still wield a two-handed weapon.

You think you’re better than me? - You’re not the only one on the team who can be awesome with this build. You have a lot of utility spells and can help the team survive with your elixirs. Just remember the crafting recipes for juice.

Crislip's Home Saloon - You can use any weapon you get your hands on, including the kitchen sink. No matter the class or race restriction you can use a weapon. Even if you’re unarmed Tavern Brawler lets you grab whatever you find and make use of it, or resort to your fists if it comes to it.

CONS

Wrestling is Fake - Grappling isn’t exactly practical; neither are improvised weapons. A lot of the features that we grab are done entirely for the sake of roleplay, and you’d be far better off taking more practical Feats or more ASIs.

PP - This build is subpar until level 16 and only really reaches its true potential at level 20. While it’s great to theorycraft these types of builds I know that most campaigns don’t reach level 20.

Grrrrrrr - Rage is nice but it’s tough to use it in this build. Not only does it stop you from casting spells or concentrating but you’ll lose your rage if you don’t get hit or don’t hit someone else.

But we all start out somewhere kid. Fight the good fight, save the civilians, take good pictures, and maybe someday you’ll be in a war someone else covers. And be sure to drink healthy orange juice and pass up on the whisky - the last thing you want is to puke in the middle of a combo.

(Minecraft skin found on superminecraftskins.com)