#I was in my edgy faze when I made it

[ameliadraws135]

I drew this years ago when I was in high school 😭

[nownahc]

Lee Know (or whoever you feel fits best, I’m not picky) with 52, 61, and 67? The boys tease him for his feelings/crush on reader. Something gets misconstrued and a feelings get hurt?? Hurt/comfort, is what I’m going for? Totally down to see where your mind goes with these prompts! Your writing is phenomenal! Thank you!!

voicemail | lee know

lee know x reader

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▶• ılıılıılılıılıılı. wanted u by joji

notes. loved writting for him, it's a challenge though, to try and be as accurate as possible to his peculiar personality. hope you liked it :)

warnings.

prompts. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”/“If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”/“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t fit you it’s just… a shocking sight that’s all.”

Hyunjin’s grunts of disbelief is drowned in by the sound of the cutlery and Changbin’s giggles at his own playful jab against his new hair cut. It had been long since Changbin, Hyunjin and Lee Know gathered like that, to share a simple meal (made by the latest). Choosing to stay silent as he chews on his food, Lee Know looks at his two friends, this, cheeky look in his eyes telling that he’s waiting for the right opening to throw in his own sharp remark.

“Y/n said it made me look edgy so whatever really;”

That name brings back some energy in Lee Know’s body, all thought of bantering with his friends gone as he tries his hardest to shift the conversation. “The meat is too chewy.” His comment go unheard as Changbin’s voice keeps raising, adding his own remark to Hyunjin’s comment. “Y/n is too nice to tell you that you just look bald though.”. Lee Know shifts in his chair, why you may ask? Well, it happens when your name is mentioned, his brain makes him believe that the sole mention of you will give away his undenying love for you. So, he continues to comment on his food, trying to change the subject. “Ah even the veggies feels too raw right?”. That doesn’t faze neither Hyunjin nor Changbin though as they continue to banter, using your name from time to time: Hyunjin to state that your opinion worthed more than Changbin’s and Changbin to state that you were merely lying to him for his own sanity.

“That broth tastes bland too…” Uneasiness settles in him the more your name is thrown in the conversation. They know, they know, they know is what his brain keeps whispering to him. “Did I add salt? Ah I should have add pepper.”

What warned Changbin wasn’t how Lee Know was suddenly uncharacteristically talkative about food, no far from that, it was the way his skin was flushed red, the way he kept fidgeting in his seat anytime Hyunjin or him said your name. Then, it clicked.

“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

Silence settles between the three friends. A grin appears on Hyunjin’s face, mimicking Changbin’s devilish one as they stare at Minho. They had never seen him like that. It was as if they had caught him up in the most embarassing, hole digging type of situation.

“Holy-” “Really I should add some pepper in that broth, it’s bland as hell.”

Lee Know goes to stand up, trying his best to be fast enough as to hide in the safety of his kitchen. He didn’t plan on Hyunjin’s next words though. “Wow, I’m so going to tell them...”

Anyone else in their right mind would whine, deny or beg even but, Lee Know has never been in his right mind. What he does, doesn’t leave Hyunjin a single option. He’s quick to grab the pot of steaming hot broth, moving it right above Hyunjin freshly shaved head.

“If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”. Hyunjin stares at him, bewilderment. Changbin speaks up, to save his other friend from Lee Know's sudden outburst. "Chill man, it was a joke."

Lee Know puts the pot back on the table mindlessly as he plops down in his seat again. A joke. Were his honest, genuine feelings a joke to them?

"They like someone else anyway, I wouldn't put you in the spot man."

Hyunjin's words had been meant to soothe Lee Know, but it did everything but so. Of course, why would you, of all people, fall for him, of all people. And, his friend comment proved that even his own friends believed that you would NEVER fall for him. Of course, you already had your eyes on someone else still, the unnecessary reminder stil hurt right where it should.

"Yeah so, that's why you can't tell them..." Lee Know wasn't a man who hated people, he judged them hard yes, but he'd never hate anyone. Right now though, that one person you fancied, he wishes he could tell straight to their face that, he despises them with his entire being.

Later that night, Lee Know is pacing in his bed room, thinking over the small accident that occurred earlier. His greatest fear finally came true and he had no idea how to deal with it. Should he trusts Hyunjin he won’t say a word to you or should he really take him out? He was only half serious about the latter option. His cats observed him from his bed, wondering what the hell got into their owner, not fully grasping the huge, chaotic mess going on his head right now. Lee Know knew that, confessing to you would be useless, you’d never reciprocate his feelings. Never. He had decided on that, as soon as he realized his feelings for you. It wasn’t because he wasn’t good enough, or that he was insecure, nor something else really, it was just as the fact that water wets, you could never love him back end of. To top it all, Hyunjin's final comment had stabbed him straight to the heart, slowly making its way in. In a final moment of dramatic despair, he throws himself on the bed, closing his eyes shut tightly, begging his brain to let him sleep in peace and dream of alligators or some shit instead of your pretty smile. Luckily, the stress, fear and adrenaline of the accident allows him to basically faint into a short length nap.

A few hours later, he wakes up groggily, cheek squished on his mattress, the feel of one of his cat sleeping soundly on his back and, the sight of his phone right by his head. If his short sleep has been dreamless, his awakening was already flooded by thoughts of you. He can’t help the humourless chuckle that leaves him as he stares at the phone.

If you’d ask him what made him do his next action, he’d answer that he doesn’t know. Perhaps sometimes, it’s unexplainable things that lead you to do things that’ll change your life forever. So, he picks up his phone,r est of his body unmoving, fingers swift, knowing the exact movements by heart as they dial your number. Phone to his ear, cheek still squished on his bed, the call gets him straight to your voicemail. He gulps once, clears his throat, then, he talks.

“Y/n… y/n…. Y/N! Ah, if you weren’t awake, now I’m sure you are. Alright now, you listen to me yeah? I’m not drunk, I’m not high, I’m not… stupid either. Look, whatever the boys tell you, do not believe them… wait no, it depends actually. If they say that I love you, you can believe them but if they say otherwise, you can… cook them… on my behalf… Ah yeah so, I… It’s harder when it doesn’t slip up uh… *meow* Soonie wants to talk to you wait… my mistake, it didn’t want to talk to you. I do though… all the time. Ah, I’m an idiot actually, didn’t even ask if you’re doing okay, just straight up told you I love you. Idiot. How are you? No wait, I didn’t mean to call you idiot. There’s a dot between idiot and my question… You think we should mention punctuations when we talk? Or just… leave a huge pause to say that there’s a dot? Anyway… *meow* Meow… sorry I might not sound like it but I’m nervous right now. I don’t know how many times I said I…”

A bip sounds in his ear signalling that the length of his voicemail reached his maximum. Grunting he dials your number again, waiting for the call to be sent to the voicemail. As soon as it bips, he starts his… mindless rent again.

“Sorry about that, so, as I was saying, I… Honestly, it’s stupid, I’m calling you right now just because they kept nagging me and saying they’ll spill the beans to you, and also because Hyunjin said you liked someone else. I could end their lives in a few words for each why am I getting so worked up over this… So what if I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death? There’s nothing wrong with that right? And... and what if you love someone else, doesn't mean... I can't love you right? Like… yeah I love you so what? And, I’ll get to tell you whenever I want, and not when those ass wipes threatening me or something, I mean I know you're not into me anyway. It's kinda a selfish confession on my behalf you know, to I don't know, soothe the pain? It doesn't sooth anything though... yeah anyway I-"

“Lee Know?”

His body turns rigid in his bed, so much, even his cats wonder if they’ll have to find a new owner sooner than expected. Why is he hearing your voice… why the hell is he hearing your voice. Slowly, as if terrified of witnessing what he dreads the most, he moves his phone so he can see the screen. Hell. What he sees on the screen is hell. His second call wasn’t sent to your voicemail, you had picked up. Millions of scenarios run around his mind, each one worst than the other. He doesn’t have the time to react though, as your voice rings out again.

“Don’t hang up on me Lee Know and, yes, I heard everything you said.”

He’s certain that you could hear him gulp on the other side of the phone. He’s screwed and he can’t even blame the boys about his current position, the only idiot in this story, is him.

“Even my first voicemail?”

“Not that one no, but, considering what you said on the actual call, does that matter?”, was he dreaming or could he hear a smile in your voice? “Yeah no, not really.”

For a moment, both of you are silent, him struggling to register that he basically confessed to you more than he should have in the span of a few minutes and you, basking in the fact that, Lee Know loves you.

“Can I rant to you too now?”, Soonie meows in the background as if to answer for his stunned owner. “Yeah, I guess.”

“I love you too.”

After a few beats, Lee Know speaks again, his brain still on auto pilot, not quite understanding the… weirdly welcomed predicament he ended up in. “That’s not a rant, that’s a sentence.”

He hears you snorts, and he finds it cute. “That’s not a sentence, that’s just a fact.” It makes him smile how you never laugh awkwardly or just brush off his witty comments, how even, you use the same tone as he does, as if it was obvious just how much he should have never been scared of letting you know about his feelings for you. As if he had been the dumbest idiot to believe that you could ever love someone that's not him.

“So,” He’s not sure where to go from there. He confessed, you confessed too, so what now? “Does that fact implies that we can go on a date… or something.”

A beat. Again, he hears your smile widen through the phone, making his own grow too. “It does implies that we can go on a date… or something.”

The Lee Know that had all but fainted on his bed earlier, terrified of not being the one for you, would certainly faint again if he saw himself right now. The fact, and not the sentence, that he gets to go on a date with you, knowing that you already love him too, is probably the best lucky mistake his stupid friends could ever generate.

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[kifkay]

Headcanons about Winx and Specialists <3

When Sky is stressed/worried, he absent-mindedly traces the scars on Brandon’s hand. 

Stella wants to try theater/drama club. C’mon, look at her – she is a drama kid, born and bred. 

Bloom definitely had a punk faze. (Semi-canon? Look at her ex-bf Andy and Selina, and tell me she wasn’t at least a little edgy in middle school.) 

Bloom never lost her interest in mythology, but during the ‘punk’ phase, she shifted her focus towards origins of monsters & creepypasta, and – well, that particular interest continued into adulthood. Except her scale for normalcy has been tampered with and what she considers fun facts disturb the shit out of the Winx and the Specialists. 

Musa, while enrolled in Alfea, has had regular music gigs at a Magix cafe. For a very long time, she wouldn’t allow the Winx girls to come and see her during the gigs, afraid that they would glean something too personal from her songs. 

Riven and later, Timmy, are one of the only people allowed to come with no invitation required.

Tecna, who had been subjected to epic highs and lows of musical education on Zenith, sometimes helps Musa compose and edit her songs. It’s both a way to bond with her very artistic roomie and a way to have fun with a discipline that was forced upon her. The two even start performing together at some point! 

(Tecna refuses to sing; it’s a good decision, she’s horrible at it. But she plays keys and is learning drums!) 

Out of the whole friend group, Timmy, Riven, Aisha and Bloom are the most competitive. They are also all sore losers.

Bloom is a coffee girl, Stella is a vitamins-only “I don’t ruin my body with those filthy drinks” wellness kind of girl, Tecna and Musa are energy drinks girlies, Aisha is a power nap girlie. Flora snorts drugs. 

Brandon and Sky switching identities was prompted by an assassination attempt made on Sky. Assassins sneaked into his quarters while he was sleeping and tried to slit his throat. While they did manage to cut the skin on his neck, Brandon, who was sleeping over, woke up and together they stalled the assailant until the guards finally showed up. That’s when Brandon was made Sky’s squire. 

Sky has a thin scar on his neck because of that. 

Tecna doesn’t notice it when she cries. She never makes a sound either: tears just start leaking out of the corners of her eyes, with the rest of Tecna’s face remaining completely unchanged. 

Flora's love language is gift giving and she loooves spoiling her friends with presents.

Aisha loves imitating people and Musa finds it hilarious. Stella stakes her life on being better than her at impressions (she really isn’t)

Brandon and Sky definitely kissed a few times. 

Everybody knows about that. 

[nemeseos-noctua]

God I love your work so much?? You guys are amazing .

Can I request how Albedo, Xiao and Diluc react to their s/o pushing them away in attempt to keep them safe from danger? (Eg they may be the traveller who is connected with the fatui and the abyss aand therefore fears for their s/o's safety.

Tysm!! I love your guys' writing style. requesting this specifically bc it's not fair Xiao gets to be to edgy one all the time in the fics🙄 how does it feel to get pushes away now loverboy? (/j!! I love him just thought this prompt would be a neat inversion).

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: albedo, xiao, diluc (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread, blood, mentions albedos story (spoilers), xiao story spoilers, reader is not traveler

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: hehe tysm!! ALSO 100% haha i LOVEEE xiao but yk he be a lil stingy when it comes to safety! i want to tuck him in and tell him it’ll be alright 😔😔

during your travels across teyvat, you have encountered far more fatui and abyss mages than you’d care to count

and some of which— had some, err, not so kind grudges against you

these grudges were so serious that you began to worry for albedo’s safety. you personally did not care for blood staining your hands nor soul—but if that blood was albedo’s... oh boy

so, coming to a conclusion... you decided on the inevitable: keep albedo at arm’s length—for your heart and his

and, it worked. for a month, it worked. your visits to his camp in dragonspine lessened, your chaste kisses and morning voice left his life like... regrettably, his master

Staring up at the whirling winds of Dragonspine, Albedo’s teal eyes trailed over the ice, wishing to see a familiar silhouette among its blizzard.

He had been counting. It has been five days, two minutes, and 54 seconds since you last visited him—

Hah, just kidding. He didn’t count—but it has been five days.

Where were you? Maybe you were busy—the alchemist knew you had a life outside of—well, him. 

It was unfair of him to be impatient, for you had been nothing short of patient towards him. But still, his heart longs and yearns for your touches, his head feels cold without your fingers twisting through his silky blonde hair. 

Dragonspine was cold, but without you, it was colder.

he’d eventually head back down to mondstadt, solely for the purpose of finding you

his mind got the best of him as he spiraled into a brief insanity. maybe he did something to make you mad? maybe you were injured, recovering without his aid? so many questions spinning around his head he almost missed the sight of your [e/c] eyes

“[Y/N]—“ Albedo’s voice cut through the crowds of Mondstadt as the alchemist rushed forward. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, desperation taking over him as he reached a hand out for you.

“Albedo...?” You stopped in your tracks, taking in the sight of your boyfriend’s unruly hair and tired eyes. His lips were still purple—as if he had come back down from Dragonspine recently.

“Where were you?” The alchemist asked, his gloved hand wrapped around your wrist delicately, his eyes scanning all over you as to check whether you were injured or not.

“Ah... I was—adventuring,” You sweatdropped, the coldness of his gloves stinging your wrist, your eyes wide at how cold he was.

he doesn’t believe you—hah. of course he doesn’t, albedo is a genius in fields he wishes to study

he knows you too well to fall for your mindless responses or excuses, he knows your eyes too well to succumb to the smile on your lips or kindness in your touch

he knows, he knows he knows he knows—so why? what are you hiding? why are you hiding? from him of all people?

everyone has secrets—albedo is aware, for he has his own share. but please, can’t you spare his heart? just this once?

“Tell me the truth, [Y/N],” Albedo asked—no, begged. He wanted to know what kept you so far from his reach, what stopped you from visiting him or loving him or just being with him. Was he the problem? Was this the end of your love?

“I...” You looked away, tugging the alchemist against the current of the crowds, seeking an area for just the two of you.

And once you found it, you pulled the blonde into a hug. The coldness of his coat didn’t faze you, nor did the way his eyes widened or the way his arms hesitantly wrapped back around you.

“I don’t want someone like you to get involved with me, Albedo. You’re...” You looked away, your face still buried into the alchemist’s shoulder. 

“... A weakness. You’re a weakness that’ll be used against me.”

albedo is in utter disbelief

he—you—what?!

he’s... your weakness?

albedo doesn’t know whether to be flattered or hurt. he knows you have a dangerous job, he knows about the amount of letters you receive threatening him or you, he knows what you’re doing is for the better...

but—he cannot allow it. he wants to hold you without regrets, he wants to kiss you and eat lunch with you at good hunter...

“[Y/N],” Albedo breathed, cupping your cheeks in the palm of his hands as he stared violently into your eyes. Gaze softening, he couldn’t bring it in himself to scold you for all the worries you brought him to.

“I promise you—that even if Fatui and Abyss Mages disrupt my alchemy, I promise that I want to get involved with you—I, I want to be with you.”

His heart, it wants so much, it wants to have you, it wants to love you.

So please—won’t you let him do that? 

xiao also has many people out for his throat

well, i suppose... the difference between those ‘people’ and your ‘people’ is the fact that xiao’s debts are owed to the dead

the whispers, the screams, the agony. it plagues every part of his mind, like a melody with no beat, like an endless tune that he will hear for the rest of time

and you—you’re like, the charm. the ward and sigil that scares away all of those demons. you’re the sunshine that seeps through the cracks of caves

and now... you’re drifting. like a ship at sea, he wonders... will you be back?

regrettably—you think—maybe, maybe... you won’t return

What is this? The third week Xiao has sat atop the roof of Wangshu Inn? Hoping mindlessly to hear your steps up the staircase?

Hah. Is this who he has become? An adeptus who waits for a mortal like you to come, an adeptus who should be defending Liyue, and yet, here he is.

he’s a bit... put off

like. who are you to make him feel this way, mortal? (derogatory) 

he doesn’t want to admit it... but... he misses you. there! he said it. he misses you. now can you come back, please?

he knows, he knows he is not the best lover... that he is blunt, enigmatic, and sometimes... rude. but— but you, you accept him for that

and he ponders atop the roof of wangshu inn—perhaps, was this ignoring scheme long overdue? have you finally grown tired of him and all of his karma? have you found someone better—someone you can love you, hold you, and care for you like you deserve?

he hopes—the answer is no

but he knows... the answer is probably yes

“Oh, [Y/N]! You’re back!” Verr Goldet’s hushed voice ran through the adeptus mind as his form shot up almost instantly. Staring down from his position on the roof, his yellow eyes stared over at your familiar form, your [e/c] eyes and vision that dangled from your hip.

“Haha, sorry about that.” 

You smiled, but Xiao didn’t miss the way you winced upon doing so. Your arms and legs were wrapped with bandages, dried splotches of red and clothing as messy as could be.

“Your room is upstairs, sleep well,” Verr Goldet nodded knowingly, a bittersweet grin on her face as her mind flickered to the thought of Xiao and his shortening temper.

once you step out onto the balcony, you do not need to look to see who has appeared beside you

“Hello, Xiao!” You say openly, arms outstretched for a hug as the adeptus merely stared at you. Three weeks. Three weeks without you, three weeks too many—and here you were, opening your arms like you had just returned back from an hour long trip.

“ . . . “ Staying silent, Xiao could only cross his arms, glaring at you with mixed emotions. He was relieved to see you back and ‘happy’, but still, he was frustrated and irritated at the way you behaved so recklessly.

“You owe me an expla—“

“—nation,” You finished for the male, an exasperated smile gracing your features as you turned over to the balcony, the setting moon and proud stars soaring like the birds of Mondstadt.

“I was... dealing with some encounters,” Your tone was laced with a malice even he wasn’t expecting, the number of bandages scouring your skin finally making sense as his eyes narrowed into slits.

“Fatui? Tell me where they are, I wi—“

“No.”

Turning over to him fully, Xiao’s breath hitched. Ugh, again—you and your pretty smile and charming features. The simplest things you do made him go insane like the karmic debts that flourished through his mind.

“You can’t get involved, Xiao. They will only go after you. I returned here today to tell you that I’ll be going off for three month—“

“What?” The Yaksha breathed in disbelief. Did he hear right? Were you seriously leaving again?! 

“I said, I am leaving again... Xiao. It’s not you—Celestia no... it’d never be you. It’s just...” You looked around, to anywhere, anyone but him. If you glanced at him now, chances are you’d succumb to his sunny eyes and stay back at Wangshu Inn. 

“... The Fatui. I got on their wanted list and—I don’t want them to use you against me. So I’ll go out and get rid of them, and I’ll be ba—“

“No.”

It was his turn to decline, for he didn’t want to hear anything you had to say. You got on the Fatui’s wanted list?! What?! He...

He was going to kill them. 

“Do you think I am weak, [Y/N]? Eons of slaughter and—“ 

“Xiao!” You facepalmed, raising your voice slightly at the male as he blinked, taken aback that you, a mortal would ever thing of committing such a heinous crime towards a divine being like him.

“You’re not weak! It’s just... I’m weak. And if they find you, they could just threaten me with everything they’d do to you! Even if nothing happened at all...” Your voice died down, your heart hammering against your chest as Xiao’s eyes softened.

Xiao was—speechless. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. Nobody had ever thought of him so kindly before, neither have they ever treated him as something other than a weapon of war.

So, he vowed. Like the night Rex Lapis found him all those millennia ago, like the night he broke free from the chains of manipulation—he vowed, time and time again—

“I will protect you, [Y/N]. For there is no need to protect me.”

[internal screaming]

diluc, of all people, no longer is afraid of ‘grudges’ or ‘debts’ owed to the fatui or abyss order. he dances with evil, masquerading each night for his life

and now, the only light in his world full of darkness, the only fire in the cold icy winds...

left

you left. you left with a little note saying you’d be back in what—five months?

a part of him was... shocked. it was surprised at how abrupt it was. one moment, the two of you were laying in bed, cradling each others’ forms. and the next? you were gone

the other part of him was... worried. did you want to leave him? what was this about? did you owe debt to the fatui? you could’ve told him, he would’ve payed for it all in a heartbeat

but diluc of mondstadt—hah, he was not known for stepping down so easily. so until he figures out why you left so suddenly, he is not stopping his search for the truth

and once he so happens to run into lumine and asks the traveler where you’ve been—he’s shocked

at first, he thinks lumine must me mistaken. what? what do you mean “[y/n] is heading out to fight the abyss herald”, you’re kidding... haha...

(lumine swore she saw her life flash before her eyes when diluc wrapped his head around the news)

diluc feels a bit... guilty. he feels guilty that he didn’t know sooner, he feels guilty that the abyss order is bothering you like how it bothers him, he feels guilty for everything

Wiping some blood that spilled from the corner of your mouth, you grimaced at the metallic taste. 

What was it? Err... day five? This was the first Abyss Herald you have encountered so far, and you could only assume it was the first of many.

Standing up, you sheathed your weapon. Your vision glowed brightly in the darkness of the ruins, the moon illuminating the way out as you sighed, pulling yourself across the stone cold floor.

As you trudged outside and into the moonlight, a twig cracked under a foot that wasn’t yours, prompting you to reach out and materialize your weapon, charging it with power from your vision.

“Who?”

Stepping out from the trees, your eyes widened at a sight you hadn’t expected to see—at least, expected to see this soon.

“Diluc?” You breathed, heaving a sigh of relief as the male took no notice to your words, instead, his vermilion eyes traced over your battered form, his eyes worrying even more with each glance he spared.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, rushing up to you as he pulled out some bandages, wrapping them around your wounds so he could get you back to the winery.

pushing yourself away from his grasp, diluc watched in hurt as you kept him away from your figure

“i couldn’t—i didn’t want you to get involved,” you mumbled guiltily, looking away from the male as his eyes seemed to berate you silently

“me involved? what do you mean?” diluc asks in disbelief. he of all people should be the one telling you that

“the abyss. i got in a tumble with them and now they’re after my blood,” you murmured, only causing diluc’s heart to pound even louder in his chest, his brain flickering to unpleasant memories as he rushed up to you, securely placing his hands on your shoulders

He’s... speechless. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He’s usually the one keeping people at arms-length—yet here you were, stealing his lines and his worries.

“I...” Diluc paused, trying to form words, and yet, nothing came to mind.

“...”

Silence. It filled the ambience and your hearts, yet, it was not the same silence in the abyss, nor was it the same silence before a nightmare.

It was a silence of awe, a silence that you’d hear before a firework would shoot up in the sky—it was calming, a relaxing wave like a seashell pressed against your ear.

A silent love—like the one you and Diluc shared. An unsung melody that played in the beat of your hearts, the breaths of the wind...

A silent promise, like a marriage or a confession, a promise to—

“I will be by your side, [Y/N]. No matter what.”

Through thick and thin, cold and warm, there is nothing but you two, two lovers against the darkness, dancing with ghosts and evil.

— constellations! 💫

[magnoliamyrrh]

What drove you to convert to islam?

well, thats a long story now

i was born and raised orthodox - ive always had a complicated relationship with religion, because on the one hand there is a lot of beauty, peace, and wisdom i found in it, on the other hand theres plenty of shit that either just didnt make sense to me, theologically speaking, and also a bunch of mostly sexist shit which really pissed off me since i was a kid. i do have a lot of religious trauma - mostly from my fathers side of the family who is much more orthodox, conservative, traditional, and who very much shoved religion (and a bunch of sexist shit) down my throath, got the idea of being inherently sinful in my head as a kid, whole bunch of shit. my father is also.... psychotic and he is what we call a habotnic, a religious extremist who, well, has bordderrrline essentially more or less joined a cult-like section of the orthodox church made up mostly of men whod been kicked out of the church (many who also happen to be pedos lmao rip) and i grew up with religion being used to justify a whole bunch of horrible shit - shit he did to me, how he treats and abuses his wife, etc

so, when i got older, 11-12 ish, i very much had a backlash against it. nevermind being an atheist, nevermind an edgy atheist faze, i outright hated it and found it to be wholly dangerous. and i did indeed have valid complaints mostly abt sexism, homophobia, hypocrisy, etc. at the same time, i had a fascination with dissecting religion and trying to understand it and studying it, something i had even before then. this went on for some years, and i continued to have an interest in theology; eventually, when i was idk 14ish, i started to have some softer and more malluable views on religion and orthodoxy - also coincided w understanding that religion wasnt what made my father an insane piece of shit, it was simply a tool he used to justify things and a path he went down on - but he could have gone insane down whatever other line

so, for a time i tried to get back into orthodoxy. this was partially from a spiritual perspective, but tbh moreso bc i was trying to keep onto something which reminded me of home in this damn empty and cold country. this is when i started to veil too, before i had anything at all to do w islam, i started praying, i started keeping onto certain traditions more. also when i got into traditional romanian magic moreso. still, i may have been trying to take the best of orthodoxy, but i felt like it never really... fit. there is a lot of beauty i still find in it to this day, and occasionally i still go to a monestary or church, i still hold onto certain traditions but no matter how hard i tried i never quite... felt it? .... and either way, after you have gone through a certain amount of horror in life, it tends to get harder to believe in things like the divinity of everything or that theres any possible sense at all to all the horrid cruelty on this planet etc etc.... i do still struggle w this to this day lol. but. also, i knew christianity so well, had already turned it on every which side, i found that even if i tried, i still had a long series of theological issues with it (many of which i dont remember after all these years, but i do remember that the trinity was one of them)

anyhow, i did keep trying for awhile. and in this whole process, i kept coming across things abt islam. this was also the years when islam was always in the news, usually in a negative light or something abt terrorism, so, it was quite frequently part of mainstream discussions. and i was curious, bc of that, bc i was curious abt theology in general, and bc partially growing up in dobrogea, i knew a very gentle and soft, beautiful islam which was the one of the turks and tatars, who were our neighbors w good food and good music and gentle, soft spoken voices like honey who were always nice to me. and i knew of islam from story books and such, one of my favourite childhood books to this day is a beautifully drawn romanian version of one thousand and one nights. so, idk, i kept coming across things, and i was curious so i looked into it

and... hm. i dont remember quite what first got me. but i did find it interesting, and i found that it solved some of the theological issues and gaps that i had with christianity, answered quesions to which the orthodox seemed to have no answer, made things click into place here and there, annuled some of the illogical loops and hypocricy which bothered me.. i found the analysis and discussion around it fascinating, so much more lively than ones i had seen in orthodoxy. i found the way hadith and quran functioned together to be fascinating, and the entire system behind it - even if today i hold different views of hadith.... i found sharia to be fascinating - and how things would fit into place and work together, shifting parts of a whole legal system and way of life intertwined. sharia always carries such a scary connotation to so many people, and yet, i dont think its a system bound neither to failure neither to opression - the question here is moreso whose sharia interpreted by who and implemented by who. i didnt have any plan to convert to it lol, and yet, it intrigued me enough that i felt a drive to keep digging and digging into it, to keep turning over in my head this and that about it, like some string or force was pulling me

most of all i think i found the qur'an itself to be.. captivating, once curiousity got to me and i started reading it. like sharia, it clearly had to be understood as a whole, and reading it for the first time and seeings its progression and how it builds upon itself was an experience in and of itself. i genuinely enjoyed spending hours reading and listening abt what this means what that meant etc. and it is so direct and personal, moreso than many other religious texts. i did find many parts of it stricking, moving, piercing. its prose and flow are beautiful. it feels alive, as if it is speaking to you, looking back into your eyes and right through your soul. i fell in love with it. and yet, it also feels like this capsule in time - while i no longer hold the commonly held idea that the qur'an is unchanged and there is only one, it can be said that as far as studies can tell from the oldest quranic manuscripts found, it is indeed remarkably well preserved - as if reading the pages you can hear and see them echo throughout time, back to when the words were first spoken..... quran recitation is very beatiful too, and i found there to be something... very meditative, tranquil, calm, soothing in it. something else that felt like it echoed through time. it also reminded me of the way orthodox priests give sermons, which i always found very beautiful and entrancing as well

i appreciated its call for reason, that i do remember particularly drew me in. that it would repetedly, repetedly call for one to question and think and it would give examples of the existence of divinity and explanations and even ask one to try to disprove things- it felt less like blind faith, more like this book was holding an active dialogue with you, and i really liked that. many of them are so beatiful too, many of them call upon nature and its wonders, and i supoose, even when my belief in a god was on very shaky ground, in nature i always saw divinity anyhow. i did find it interesting too how many of the verses did show an understanding of natural phenomenon, could be interpreted in a way which was less science-breaking than the bible, and called upon these phenomenon as signs of divinity.... and i appreciated its call to justice as well, its striving for a just system, society, and way of life. i appreciated its call to struggle for the sake of allah - jihad, which doesnt only mean wartime fighting (which is supoosed to be a very last resort).... its call for the end of opression, and the responsability of each person to do something about ending said opression and injustice

i found its understanding of god to be beautiful, and to make sense - my understanding of this developed more later when i came across sufism, and when i started doing shrooms too lol, but. i always felt the heart of it. which is the oneness of god, pure monotheism; because god is one, and god is indeed all that exists; indeed, everything is one. this is the same thing psychedelics teach you - ego death as its often called - and what many religious rituals of plenty of religions around this world seek to understand, achieve, feel, live by. it could be said that since there are high chances human conciousness developed along w psychedelic use, and since our african ancestors certainly did psychedelics, we are indeed genetially and biologically programmed as a part of our evolution and history to experience and understand ego death - to see and feel and become the connection and thread which runs through everything, the oneness of everything, the singularity of everything, unbound by time. this is what islam seeks as well.... hm. i liked that islam understood allah, unlike in christianity in which god is reffered to almost exclusively as a father sort of figure, to be not like any other thing, and most certainly not male. unbound, unconstrained, never fully knowable to us as humans..the 99 names of allah are beatiful, and i was drawn in by how many times the qur'an proclaimed allah to be all merciful, all forgiving, all loving, etc

.... there was something about it all, the more i looked into it, which brought me a sense of peace, calmness, ease... i found the way of life it promoted to be one of peace - i liked that you were supposed to pray five times a day, i liked that there were certain ways of doing things, i liked that muslims lived like the older romanian people did, always mentioning the name of allah and always aware of divinity. the idea of freedom not being getting to do whatever you may please, but rather living by a series of constraints, to make much sense - and i was drawn to it a lot more than this modern western do what you want individual freedom reigns supreme mindset... i liked that sharia was concerned with the common good and community before it was concerned with the individual.. i liked that islam promoted a middle path, i liked that it called for moderation and reason (things which my father never had), and showed a way of life which was almost monk-like, without leading to monastic seclusion.... i had always wanted to be a nun, you see, and parts of islam drew me in because of that. there were certainly many muslims, mainly sisters, who impressed me in their faith and way of life, the energy and aura that would clearly radiate off of them - women who lead by example, and by only doing so, would make one curious as to how they have come to be this way

i had an interest in other religions as well. i knew some of my ancestors were jewish, and yet judaism is a hard religion to convert to, and harder to be accepted into - and while i have read the old testament several times, i never quite felt a strong connection to it. i was fond of other christian denominations like the quakers for example, i found some of the theological points of protestants to be intriguing, but i still had many of the same issues with it. i find hinduism, buddhism, and sikhism to be beautiful religions with much wisdom - and to an extent being fond of certain kinds of sufism is to adopt a hindu or south east asian influence or to reach similar understandings at least; they are sister religions - but while i look into them, they never really felt like something id follow; not on their own

islam brought me a sense of home, it all did. so much of it simply made sense to me and clicked into place, it felt like learning something i had already known, discovering something that had always been within myself - i supoose, this is why we use the word revert rather than covert, because it feels more like coming back into the fold of islam..... and hm. both arab and turkish cultures felt... very much like home to me, never like something foreign. they made sense, i instantly understood them, both the good and bad parts - so many things were so similar to our own, and to me, they felt, and still do feel, like a second home. later after some years of converting when id go to masjids and eid and such, i again very much found that among the arabs i felt so much more at home than i ever did among the americans. and islam itself, there are many things which i saw which were so similar to orthodoxy, and this brought me a sense of comfort and home as well. and i always associated islam too with the turks and tatars in dobrogea, and so, islam never felt like a foreign thing to me - as converting to another religion may have - rather the religion and culture of our neighbors whom we had so much in common with

.... it just.. it really felt like there was some force pulling me, i had a unending thirst and drive to understand more. id get lost in spending hours reading the quran, id get lost in spending hours trying to understand it. id spend the nights awake reading and contemplating..... i dont know if it makes sense, but i dont mean this in a meme way - it very much felt like islam chose me, not like i chose it. it very much felt like i had become muslim before i had made any such decision, my soul had already made it for me, and i was the one who later realized and accepted it. islam, the word, comes from the word submission, sometimes said to mean peace in submission. i had already felt it in my bones, the submission to its truth and allah, the onesess of everything, before i realized it. it simply was - looking back, it was a very similar feeling to the one you get on psychedelics. you simply.. understand.... i knew my family would likely forsake me. i knew my country outside of dobrogea would forsaken me. i knew many muslims would forsake me for being gay.... but even if i had wished to go back, it was too late, for i had already seen, and felt, and understood, and there was no denial left. alhamdulilah, i do thank allah for guiding me, for it certainly felt like being guided

i have never known as much peace as i knew in those first, hm, months and years, despite the fact that things were hard back then, especially with my family, and my parents were at the peak of being abusive. i never felt such a connection to god and everything, such a suredness, groundedness, and strengh of faith...... it is something i miss, and i regret that these days i do not often pray the five daily prayers, and do not keep fast as often as i did, and do not live with allah in my heart as much. inshallah, i will get back on the path. i did used to be a lot more orthodox back then, islamically orthodox. and as the years passed my relationship with islam and allah changed, and when i came across sufism for the first time, i realized that it was the heart and soul of the religion which i knew, had felt myself, and had been searching for

i believe there is truth in all religions, they are different paths to take, different understandings which seek the same goal. i do not believe in sects, nor do i believe in devision between religions much... we all have our paths; my understandings of islam may have changed over the years, and i may have had, and still have, my struggles, but this will always be the home and refuge of my soul, and the path i walk

[specsforwoo]

Son of Lachesis | Demigod!Jung Jaehyun

Parent Deity: Lachesis (Goddes of the String of Life; the Second Fate)

Allegiance: Hades

Dark Humor was a thing

He probably picked it up from his dad

His dad was this super successful thriller author

So they had this huge penthouse in New York but Jaehyun was your normal edgy emo teenager

He claimed to hate his life, hate his family, hate his friends

But like, his dad wasn’t bothered by it???

At first Jaehyun thought it was because his dad just didn’t care about him

But then he started to realize that his dad was the same way

He would rather disparage himself in the name of humor than anything else

It was more of a coping technique but oh well

And for some reason, Jaehyun’s senior year of highschool, he moved to Korea

Still doesn’t know why tbh

Something about his dad telling him that it was safer for their family to be closer together

But like his family only comprised of himself and his dad

And his beagle Chu-Chu but that’s it

As far as he knew, he didn’t have any family in Korea

But surprisingly, he fit in well

His last year of high school went by quickly

And soon he was accepted into the medical examiner’s program @ KAIST

What?

He felt more comfortable around cadavers than live humans

It wasn’t weird he just had hella social anxiety

He had a real gift for it too

He could just look at a body and be able to tell how they died

He was oddly able to tell how long ago they died too

He was actually starting to get creeped out by it

So he started talking to the only person he could ever confide in

His dad

It was a long weekend off of uni

And the Friday before he got into a huge argument with his toxicology professor about the substance that one man ingested that led to his death

His professor swore it was Croton tiglium

And he doesn’t know why but something in his gut was screaming that the diagnosis was wrong

So what did he do?

He stole the toxicology report to review it

And he barged into his professor’s office claiming it was actually Daphne mezereum

What scared him the most was that he could swear the man who was lying helplessly on the table was the one who told him what the poison was

So back to his dad’s apartment

Jaehyun was in tears explaining what had been going on to his dad

And sure his dad was the one to lighten up any room he could

But his dad just laughed

And for the first time he actually felt like he was going crazy

He thought that if anyone would be able to help him understand it would be his dad

I mean what was that Ph.D in psychology hanging on the wall for then

But his dad placed a hand on his shoulder and talked to him very calmly.

I think it’s time that you met your mother.

Sniffing, he looked up

I thought she had been dead since I was a baby.

Sorta…

How can someone be ‘sorta’ dead?

She’s more like… undead?

Suddenly a gray smoke started swarming around his feet.

And a young woman, dressed in black with a rose in her hair appeared behind his dad

Jaehyun almost screamed

Dear, Many people are in need to relief so why are you calling me up?

She spoke and her voice was as light of as the mist swirling around her feet

She looked up and made eye contact with Jaehyun

Dear, you know how dangerous it is for them to meet their other parents… why is he here?

She didn’t break eye contact with Jaehyun as she spoke to his father

It’s time he knew. Maybe Taeyong or Yuta could help him? They’ve been through this before.

The anxiety and stress was piling up on Jaehyun until he couldn’t stand it anymore

Knew what? Who is this? Why is our apartment filling with smoke? What have Taeyong and Yuta been through before?

You are a demigod Jaehyun. The woman spoke up, inching closer to his side.

My son, the son of Lacheses.

Lacheses…. The goddess of the string of fate.

I’m the son of a death goddess.

He burst out laughing

He couldn’t tell if it was from shock or denial

Everything made sense

His ominous ability to tell how people died

How long they would live for

So you are telling me Taeyong and Yuta are demigods too?

He looked between his mother and father

Yes, sons of Themis and Bia, respectively of course.

So that summer Jaehyun ended up going to camp with Taeyong

He didn’t feel that comfortable in the Hades cabin, and ended up rooming with Sicheng in the Achelios cabin instead

He also tended to help out with medical care when super dangerous competitions were taking place

If he remembered correctly, Sicheng asked him to because your weird ass ability to tell how long people have to live comes in handy so I can override it.

He said it with all smile on his face too, like people thought Jae was creepy

He is still actively attending uni, still the top student is his toxicology class, despite his prof throwing the hardest cases his way

HE EVEN GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT THE POLICE STATION YAY JAEHYUN

But camp is his life now

He never knew what he would have done if he didn’t have the support system that he did because of it

Yuta is his best friend

Partly because they are apparently first cousins

But also because they just mesh really well together

Whenever Yuta is fighting or practicing

He is there to makes sure to call game before anyone gets fatally injured

It actually got close one time

But other than that

His life is really normal

He eats out a lot

He studies a lot less than he should

He has made lasting friendships

And he has the hugest crush in the world that he refuses to reveal

hey , you

Just tell me! You know I can keep a secret from the hyungs!

Cue Jisung pestering him as they run the track at camp

How do I know that?

Taeyong still hasn’t found out that Chenle and I sneak out every Saturday to go to the arcade and that we were the ones who broke his cat mug.

Good Point.

Sooooo?

Still not telling.

Honestly though, not like it wasn’t obvious enough

Sometimes he wonders if everyone is oblivious to him staring at the back of your head while you run rounds for Sicheng

Or how his eyes follow your figure when he spots you in a crowd

Dude has it bad

And might be a little possessive too

He saw Taeil hug you once and he refused to talk to Taeil for a week

Until Kun saw what was going on and forced them to make up

But you

Girl you might have an even bigger crush

Who knew volunteering was so fun when you got to see Jaehyun every day

Highkey only Renjun knows that you both like each other

What? Renjun knows E V E R Y T H I N G

At least he is like ‘passively’ helping Jaehyun score a date with you

And by ‘passively’ I mean he straight up walked over to you and asked you if you would want to grab dinner with Jaehyun on Thursday, something about studying for toxicology finals

And by ‘passively’ I also mean him straight up telling Jaehyun that you were going to be a the hole in the wall diner on 53rd street a 7 o’clock and if he didn’t show up he was going to kick his ass

So you both showed up

You with study materials

And him with flowers

Johnny told him that flowers were always the way to go

And Jaehyun was beyond embarrassed and confused when you looked up and saw him standing there in a button down shirt that definitely wasn’t his holding a bouquet of flowers

And you were sitting there in sweatpants and your glasses falling down the bridge of your nose

So he did what he does best

Laugh it off

Oh, these are to thank you for helping me study.

Of course, you didn’t have to get me anything though.

In his head he is sitting there cussing Renjun out while also trying to create that empathy link with Yuta so he could tell Yuta to go beat his ass

But he brushed it off and starts studying with you

Only after ordering pecan pie and hot chocolate

Because everyone needs snacks for studying

Right

But you suddenly looked up and stared him straight in the eyes

Why do you even need my help? Aren’t you like top of this class, and IDK you can talk to dead people? Just ask them what happened.

Jaehyun is back to being embarrassed and this time he can’t laugh it off

Well– ummm— you see– Renjun— I—-

Oh for Zeus’ sake can’t you just say that little twerp set us up on a date?

Well… yeah, yeah he did.

YoU — umm— you can leave if you want, I understand if you don’t like me

Why would I leave. And you shouldn’t understand because you are a great guy, of course I like you.

You gave off a cheeky smile before stealing a bite of his pie

Y’all started off really casually

Like a group date here and there, nothing alone

Something in Jaehyun told him it wasn’t going to get serious unless he made the first move

Your father was probably to blame

Zeus was known for being a little aloof when it came to love

But Jaehyun

God Jaehyun had no guts whatsoever

Not until his best friend from New York came to town

Jameson had come to visit over his own spring break, claiming he wanted to see why Korea was so special and “Jeff” as he knew him, never returned to the US

And Jaehyun had taken you with him to the airport, better than dragging along Jeno or Jungwoo, who for some reason was terrified of planes themselves, and Yuta was out of town for a competition and Johnny was still passed out from last night’s party

And when Jameson stepped off the plane, he came barrelling towards Jaehyun, screaming JEFFFFFFERRRRRYYYYY as loud as he could and tackled him into a hug.

After that he began speaking in English a mile a minute

To say you were a deer caught in the headlights was an understatement

Jaehyun obviously wasn’t fazed, he was able to talk back to Jameson at the same speed, not even stuttering

So you felt kinda lost, shrinking away from the boistering boys, opting instead to starting rolling his friend’s luggage to the car

Jaehyun caught wind of your suddenly shy personality and cut off his friend to instead walk over to you

In a much calmer voice, and this time in a language you were actually able to understand, Jaehyun asked if you wanted to be introduced to his friend

You nodded and Jaehyun grabbed your wrist before shutting the trunk of the car.

Pulling you back over, Jaehyun spoke in English again

You could barely make out something along the lines of This is my friend, Y/N, daughter of Zeus.

You gave a small wave and bowed, hoping he wouldn’t speak to you directly, prompting you to speak in your broken tongue.

Just a friend, or something more? Jameson smirked at Jaehyun before looking back over at you

A friend that you can’t have. You couldn’t really understand what Jaehyun said but you could tell that whatever was said, he wasn’t happy about his friend’s comment.

After that you all got into the car where Jaehyun made you sit in the front seat, holding your wrist the entire time, in obvious view of Jameson

Things died down for a while and it went back to the usual

You were still on the track team (more like Pegasus Racing team but whatever)

And Jae came to cheer you on at every game

And Jae was still top of his classes @ KAIST

And you came to cheer him up when the workload got to much for him

But it STILL wasn’t serious

So one night

Specifically, Jameson’s last night in Korea

Everyone decided to head out to Hongdae to go club hopping (pls tell me you people know what club hopping is)

And you were all having fun, dancing, most were also drinking, especially Jameson

Jaehyun somehow ended up being DD after a brutal battle of scissors, paper, rock

So he was sitting there on the side lines, nursing straight tonic water watching everyone else get shit-faced drunk

You weren’t any better to be honest

Jameson started having a habit of trying to get you alone or get you to dance with him

So you thought that if you had to deal with that all night you had to have a couple shots in your system.

PSA TIME PEOPLE!!!!!! PSA!!!!! If someone in your group keeps trying to get you alone or get you to dance with them, both men and women, DO NOT I repeat DO NOT resort to drinking to deal with it. If they don’t get the hint by you avoiding them, tell them straight to their face that you don’t want to be with them. If they still don’t get the hint, seriously consider just leaving wherever you are. Under no circumstances is it okay for them do that. PSA OVER!!!!

Jaehyun had been watching you try to avoid Jameson from the bar all night and after Jameson came up behind you and grabbed your waist he was done

The vision of fully sober, properly pissed off, ready to throw punches Jaehyun was not a pretty sight

Thankfully, at the moment he had enough self-control in his system to not deck his friend straight in the throat

He instead opted to grab your wrist, much more forcefully than last time, and drag you out the back door of the club into the alley way

Then, much more gently, backed you into the wall of the club

He was so close that you could feel his breath on your forehead

Muttering to himself in English, you couldn’t understand what he was saying

Suddenly he looked down and his eyes kept snapping from yours to your lips

I’m probably going to do something I regret right now

Poor you couldn’t even understand him because of him still speaking in English

Next thing you know he was kissing you, pushing you up further against the wall, wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer

After he let go, worry flashed across his face, like he finally realized something

Oh my god, did that bastard hurt you?

He started checking your arms and wrists, even running his hands along your waist to make sure there wasn’t bruising there

For once, Jaehyun actually had the guts

He ended up calling everyone rides, and left early with you so he could take you out on an ‘official first date’

To an ice cream shoppe

Mind you average temps in Korea during, let’s say March is still around 28 degrees Fahrenheit @ night

He realized his mistake after seeing you sit there in the booth, shivering as you picked up your ice cream

So he quickly shrugged off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders and grabbing your hands in his to warm them up

First date was still a success in his mind

And all the dates there after

Renjun takes full credit for your relationship, but so does Sicheng, they actually fight about this

Jameson actually isn’t in Jaehyun’s life anymore

And Jaehyun is madly in love with you

Proposes after he graduates, in front of all of his friends, @ the stupid little hole-in-the-wall diner that he claims was his first real date with you

While they all scream JEFFFERRRRYYYY in the background.

really tho, Yuta has it on tape, along with Doyoung forced feeding Jaehyun wine, and him sleep talking about your first official date, all of which he plays at your guy’s wedding

Good luck having all of these idiots as brother in laws :::)))))

[kwistowee]

Can I ask you why you hate Amy? No judgement here! Just curious, because everyone else seems to like/love her...

Oh boy…

I have really strong feelings about this, in part because of how protective I feel toward Frank Castle. I know this is not the prevailing sentiment so I don’t mind if no one agrees. It’s okay it disagree.

I cannot stand Amy Bendix in The Punisher S2. She is my least favorite part of the entire show. (And, of course, this has nothing to do with the actress who portrays her; she did a fine job with the material she was given and I’m sure she’s lovely.) Amy does have good qualities, and there are a few things she does throughout the show that are helpful and even admirable. But those few things do not balance out the landslide of qualities and actions I dislike.

To prevent this from becoming a full-blown essay, I’m just gonna lay out a few bullet points.

Amy is: • ungrateful. She constantly takes Frank for granted. He is literally her human shield and she fights him every step of the way (until the last few episodes). Even when Homeland Security swoops in to save her, she shows zero respect or gratitude. • selfish/entitled. (see Madani’s closet, credit card, entire apartment, etc.) She’s a thief, a liar, and a total brat. • the reason MANY people are wounded/dead throughout the season. If she seemed to care about that at all, I’d feel differently but innocent lives lost never seems to faze her. She’s certainly frightened by the events surrounding her, but it never seems to register that people are dying because of her. (Still heartbroken over the bouncer of the bar in Ep 1.) • either an idiot or she has a death wish. She knows she is being chased and hunted, but when Frank steps in to protect her (because even without any context he realizes her situation is extremely serious, even more than she does), she is constantly undermining him, being indiscreet, or just making his life difficult. Again, she doesn’t appreciate him until way, way later. She does not behave as if she understands the gravity of her situation and consistently does things that invite death. • insensitive. Poking at Frank about his dead family? Really?! Crashing Frank and Karen’s conversation at the hospital? Even though in that last scenario time is of the essence, all teenagers are not that oblivious.

I know these things are down to how she is written as a character, but that’s a huge reason why I dislike her. She is written the way a 40-year-old thinks edgy teenagers are, which is a very poor reflection on teenagers in general, because she is the worst. If you can relate to her, I apologize. I know people are made up of many characteristics and experiences and young people aren’t fully formed yet; I don’t like the parts of her we see in this season. 

We don’t always get to choose what happens to us but we do choose how we respond. I know that she’s had an extraordinarily difficult life, but so have many other people, and they don’t all behave the way she does. She is in way over her head, in the midst of absolutely insane circumstances, and I know that all of us can behave poorly when frightened or in high stress situations. But she rarely handles anything in a way that I respect or admire. 

She’s just a teenager? Not an excuse: plenty of teenagers are intelligent, respectful, responsible, grateful individuals, despite what mainstream media might depict. Do we see growth by the end of the season? Yes. I don’t really care. Too little too late. Could she grow into somebody that I have more patience for and enjoy in the future? Sure, but that’s not who she was in this season of the show. 

Frank sacrificed his chance at a fresh start for her, and he lost a lot along the way (as did many others). He did not deserve to be saddled with an ungrateful twerp who acts like the smartest person in the room. He completely turned his life upside down for her, and I would feel very differently about her if she had been more cooperative, grateful, and done anything to make his life easier while he was bending over backwards saving hers. I don’t buy into their father/daughter dynamic at all because she falls so flat for me. Frank deserved better in Season 2 but he got her. And I cannot stand her.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #590: Unexpected Reunion (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

It was a normal, peaceful day in the Smash Mansion and Shadow and Hat Kid was about to watch a Halloween themed movie together. When suddenly.......

????: (Appears From Out of the Ground in a Shadow-ly Like Form) Herrrre's SNATCHER!

Hat Kid: ('Gasps')

('Click')

Shadow: (Immediately Pulls his Gun on the Figure)

Snatcher: Huh. A black, edgy hedgehog with a gun....(Turns his Head at the Viewers) That definitely wouldn't stir up any controversies in the long run.

Shadow: Enough talk. Who are you and what are you doing in this-

Hat Kid: Shadow!

Shadow: Hm? (Turns to Hat Kid) What's wrong, sister?

Hat Kid: (Whispers Something into Shadow's Ear)

Shadow: (Listening to Everything Hat Kid is Telling Him) Mhmm... Uh-huh....Wait....(Turns to Snatcher for a Few Seconds Before Turning Back to Hat Kid) You mean to tell that you know this clown?

Hat Kid: (Simply Nodded)

Shadow: And that he's one of your friends from that space trip of yours?

Hat Kid: (Nodded Once More)

Shadow: (Looks Back at Snatcher One More Time Before Turning Back to Hat Kid) Are you absolutely sure that he's not a threat?

Hat Kid: (Nodded Once More Before Giving Shadow the Puppy Dog Eyes)

Shadow: (Sighs in Defeat Before Putting his Gun Down) Fine. He can stay for a while....

Hat Kid: (Rapidly Clap her Hands Happily Before Hugging Shadow) Thank you!~

Shadow: (Gently Pats.the Top of Hat Kid's Head With a Small Smile on His Face) Yes. Yes. It's no problem.

'Ahem'

The duo finally turn their attention to Snatcher, who is crossing his arms impatiently.

Snatcher: Hate to ruin your little family moment or whatever, but you do know that I'm still here, right?

Hat Kid: (Happily Waves at Snatcher)

Shadow: (Puts on a Straight Face) We noticed. So I take it you're uhh...

Snatcher: Snatcher's the name, tormenting fools and their souls are my game! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Shadow: (Raised an Eyebrow in a Suspicious Manner) Really now?

Snatcher: (Place his Arms Behind the Back of His Head in a Relaxed Manner) Yeeeup. Been doing it for eternity now and it never gets old. Judging by your edgy appearance, I'm guessing your name is-

Shadow: Shadow. Shadow the Hedgehog. I'm the Ultimate Lifeform....(Gently Ruffles the top of Hat Kid's Hair) as well as this little rascal's older brother.

Hat Kid: (Giggles Softly)

Snatcher: Ah yeah. The kid did told me about having two brothers here.... Where's the other one?

Shadow: Out running. His name is Sonic, in case you were wondering.

Snatcher: Generic name, but whatever.

Shadow: So..... Snatcher.... Exactly how did you and Hat Kid first met?

Snatcher: We met back in Subcon Forest. She was walking around, looking for her little time pieces or whatever, and once she fell for one of my booby traps, I immediately stole her soul!

Shadow: (Eyes Widened in Surprised) You stole her what?!

Snatcher: Her soul! S-O-U-L! Honestly, were you even listening the first time I said it, Mr. Ultimate Lifeform?

Shadow: (Glares at Snatcher While Gritting his Teeth and Balling his Fist) I did.....

Hat Kid: (Frowns Worryingly While Calming Shadow Down) Shadow, it's okay.

Snatcher: Oh relax, will ya? I didn't entirely kept it for myself. I gave her a contract to sign to do all the tasks I have planned, in order for her to leave my forest. And....(Facepalms While Sighing) To my literal surprise, she was able to do all of them, with little to no problem.

Shadow: She did?

Snatcher: Yeah. And let me tell ya, I picked out the most challenging objectives ever known to men and spirits alike! I made her murder spirits, clean the Subcon Well, deliver mail and packages to my loyal subjects, mess around with Queen Vanessa's manor-

Shadow: (Crosses his Arms) So basically, you made her do your chores.

Snatcher: (Glares Fiercely at Shadow) HEY! THOSE WERE NOT CHORES!! THEY WERE THE MOST GRUESOME TASKS THAT NO MEN, WOMEN, OR ANY OTHER LOWER CLASS SPECIES COULD EVER HOPE OF COMPLETING!!

Shadow: (Raised an Eyebrow) ..............

Snatcher: ('Groans in Defeat') Okay. Fine. So maybe they were just chores. But they were difficult a-and deadly! And yet somehow, that little twerp was able to complete them all!

Shadow: (Turns to Hat Kid) You were able to accomplish all of that just to get your soul back?

Hat Kid: (Proudly Nodded) Mmhmm!

Shadow: (Chuckles Lightly as He Ruffles the top of Hat Kid's Hair Once More) I guess you really are full of surprises, huh kiddo?

Hat Kid: (Giggles Softly)

Snatcher: (Rolled his Eyes While Groaning) Alright. That's enough rambling on about my failures for one day. Let's change the subject, shall we?

Shadow: (Turns Back to the Snatcher) Okay, sure. What else do you want to talk about?

Snatcher: You, of course! Shadow, isn't it? Tell me. How exactly did you get the name "Ultimate Lifeform" in first place? It sounds wayyyyyy to exceptional to be given to anyone.

Shadow: I can assure that the name alone, is far from being an empty title. It was given to by Professor Gerald Robotnik, the man who created me in the Space Colony Ark, many years ago.

Snatcher: (Starts Getting Intrigued) Oh? You don't say.....

Shadow: That's right. I originally created to be an immortal being, but....(Frowns a bit Sadly) Let's just say that... during those years, the professor would used me later for something I.... really don't want to get into right now....(Or possibly ever.)

Hat Kid: (Starts Feeling Sympathy for Shadow as She Hugs Him Tightly)

Snatcher: Ah. So you got yourself a case of a troubling past?

Shadow: ('Sigh') For the most part. But that's all in the past now. I may have been through a lot during those times and done things I'm not proud of, but that doesn't mean I could let them get the better of me. Especially now that I have people in my life, whom I love and cherish everyday. That's why I do whatever I can to fight and protect them, as well as everyone else in this world. No matter how challenging it may be at times.

Hat Kid: (Smiles Softly at Shadow's Speech)

Snatcher: Yeesh. For an Edgelord, you really are a goodie two shoes.

Shadow: (Shrugged) That may be the case, but at the end of the day, and for the most part, it's who I am. And I'm proud of that.

Snatcher: (Rolled his Eyes) Whatever floats your boat, man.......(Suddenly Begins to Grin Evilly While Coming Up with an Idea) Say.....If you want, I can make you an offer you-

Shadow: No.

Snatcher: Ah come on! You don't even know what it is!

Shadow: And whatever this offer of yours is, I'm not interested in it. No matter how many times you would try to convince me.

Snatcher: ('Groans Heavily') Does anyone ever told you how much of a killjoy you really are?!

Shadow: I have been called that on some occasions. It never bothered me, really.

Snatcher: ('Sighs in Defeat') This is already getting boring. I'm outta here.

Shadow: Already?

Snatcher: Yep. I have places to be, souls to steal, fools to torture. Vice versa.

Shadow: Well, if that's the case, I suppose it was..... somewhat nice to meet you in person.

Snatcher: Likewise. You seems like an interesting fellow.....Even if you are a too goody for your good. (Turns to Hat Kid) And as for you, brat, it was.....kind of...sort of....nice to...see you again or whatever-

Hat Kid: (Happily Gives The Snatcher a Hug)

Snatcher: (Groans While Blushing a Little) Yeah, yeah. I know. I missed you too. Now let go of me already!

Hat Kid: (Giggles Softly While Pulling Away)

Snatcher: I swear. Nothing seems to faze you anymore. ('Sigh') No matter. I'm leaving now so......Bye! (Disappears Out of Thin Air)

Shadow: (Sighs While Turning to Hat Kid Once More) You have some weird friends and enemies, you know that? Then again, I had deal with Eggman on most occasions. So I guess I had no room to talk, huh?

Hat Kid: (Giggles Softly) Maybe~

@keyenuta

@miki-13

@cyber-wildcat

@26shann

@albion-93

@italian-love-cake

@ma-lemons

@sonicsflowers

@chompycroc

@toriwest

[rhymingshadows]

His Raw Materials: Part 3

(Part Three in which Krick gets to be edgy...again.  I do enjoy writing a character that is both stable yet shamelessly villainous.  And can use magic.  That’s always nice. LOL.  Enjoy!) So far as restaurants went, this one wasn’t anything amazing.  As a small sushi establishment in one of the most run-down areas of Shirogane, “The Red Carp’ had long since forgotten its heyday.  That’s why the owners, a pair of local hyurs, were legitimately surprised when Krick entered at an early hour.  They didn’t get many customers in general, especially not at this hour.  Further, not ones dressed so well, or possessing such an unsettling aura, as Krick. Krick took a table opposite the door and ordered several eel rolls and a kettle of green tea.  He then tossed a pouch of gil on the table and told the hyur couple to leave for the next few hours as he wished to eat alone. The couple, anxious but drooling over the large amount of gil, which was more then what they made in a moon, took the gil and left once the food was set before the odd miqo’te. Once alone, Krick pulled out his copy of the ‘Blitzball Monthly’ magazine and casually began to read an article about improving his passing game as he used a set of chopsticks to eat his eel rolls. Once he was certain the couple was gone, the blonde miqo’te pulled out the vial of blood he’d taken from Una the night prior and poured the crimson liquid onto the table.  Using his index finger, he drew a pentagram on the table and then ringed the icon.  He eyed the red seal before his eyes flashed green and the symbol glowed a dark red for a moment. A second later the twin glows faded and Krick cleaned his finger with a rag before he resumed eating his meal.  He set the magazine over the seal and began to enjoy himself despite what he knew what was going to happen next. These crusading dogs of ‘The Rising Dawn’ never disappointed.

Eventually a trio of figures entered the restaurant.  They seemed to have tried to look inconspicuous.  Simple kimonos covered their bodies but their weapons and frames revealed they were far more dangerous than any mere merchants. An au ra female stayed in the doorway, hand on her sheathed katana as a male hyur and a male elezen approached Krick, who pretended to ignore them all and eat his meal. He went to turn the page of his magazine when a knife slammed down and pinned the page to the table.  Krick blinked slowly before he lifted his head and stared up at the elezen they leaned in and twisted his grip on the knife. “You seemed to have mis-sheathed your knife.” Krick commented in a calm, dry tone that held a hint of smug condemnation. “No, I stick it where I want.”  the elezen retorted, glaring at Krick with hatred in his blue eyes. “I see, so like the glory holes of Uldah perchance?”  Krick leaned back and made a ‘tsk tsk’ noise.  “I hope you can talk so smugly when we set you ablaze, K’rick Nunh.” the elezen hissed.  Krick blinked at that.  He hadn’t been a Nunh in decades.  The elezen noticed the reaction and spat onto Krick’s remaining sushi.  “Oh yes, necromancer.  We know all about you.  The Lady herself has chosen to brief us about you and the threat you pose.” “I do wish that whore would keep my name from her tongue.”  Krick commented calmly.  The nearby hyur drew his sword. “Watch your tongue, sinner.  The Lady’s honor will not be besmirched by a thing like you.” they hyur growled as he turned and entered the kitchen to look around. “Ah, another zealot disliking having reality mentioned.”  Krick glanced back to the elezen. “The Order of Sysst is finished, necromancer.” the elezen’s eyes flashed gold as a surge of righteous aether raced through them.  “We know your order is floundering.  And soon the disk will be destroyed and your leader’s threat to Eozrea will be gone.” “Fantastic how backwards you have that.  Your whore has brainwashed you all very well.”  The elezen slammed Krick across the face as he finished speaking.  His neck popped as Krick’s head jerked violently to the left and he tasted blood from a gashed lip.  “Lucky Hojo wants you alive to spill your secrets before we spill your guts.”  the elezen taunted darkly.  Krick licked his bloody lip as the hyur returned and barked: “Sinner, where is your comrade?  We sensed their energy here.” “So you -were- looking for that pawn.” Krick nodded, his hypothesis verified.  “Hojo is able to pass on what he senses.  The Hrothgar never ceases to amaze and prove he is a true threat.” “Where is he?”  the elezen growled, his hand still on the knife that was pinning down his magazine.  “We sniffed him out.  We know they are here.” “Funny thing about dogs like you.”  Krick turned and looked at the elezen.  “You all smell so well, but forget to use your eyes to look for the traps your nose gets you in.”  His eyes flared green as the pentagram under the magazine flared to life.  The pentagram began to move as the blood slithered like serpents up the blade of the dagger.  Around the metal the tendrils of red spun until they swarmed over the elezen’s fingers and buried themselves into the male’s flesh.  Immediately, the elezen began screaming as his flesh and blood began to boil and rot.  The disease began to quickly spread up his arm, eating away at his mortal coil. The hyur, realizing dark magic was in play, summoned his aether as his own eyes flared gold.  He swung his sword and the table exploded into a shower of splinters as it was cleft in twain.  But Krick dove away to the right just prior to the blade’s impact. In the doorway, the au ra was screaming and clutching at her eyes.  A murder of ravens had descended upon her and their talons and beaks had made short work of her eyes.  She staggered out into the street and clutched at the ruin of her face. “Monster!” they hyur howled when the elezen collapsed to the ground as a pile of rotted, boiling flesh and steaming puss.  The smell was horrific but it didn’t faze the necromancer in the slightest. “A monster?”  Krick commented as his tail twitched slowly.  He was still remembering how to use it.  The ghost of a smug grin teased his lips as he began to summon his aether to his form and the shadow at his feet shivered and squirmed. “Your Lady has committed atrocities the likes of which I could never hope to match.  You’re ‘holy’ crusade is a lie, and your ‘righteous’ road will lead you to hell, just like mine.” Golden flames wreathed the hyur’s sword as he charged forward but the shadows beneath Krick seemed to open up like a set of jaws and he fell into the floor and was gone. The hyur bellowed in anger as he swung his blade at the floor, striking the spot where Krick had vanished. “Monster!” they hyur roared. “We’ll hunt you and your ilk to the ends of this star.  You hear me!” A raven in the doorway did hear the hyur before it flew away, the au ra’s blood dripping from its beak.  From someplace else, the necromancer smirked. “I do. And I’m glad of it.  Follow me all over Eorzea, little dogs.  My trail will stay fresh so you cannot find the other trails you seek.”

[cruzrogue]

F’M Smoak

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 5  “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity #Flommy

Thomas Merlyn/ Felicity Smoak

Rating:G

Warnings/Tags: Fluff (friendship)

F’M Smoak

Summary:

Goth Felicity can sing and it brings unwanted attention from a lacrosse player. In the midst of this she meets a charming college guy who she easily befriends.

As her sweetest song she’s singing right now has that quite different sound from the array of beats of the rest of her lyrical music. She loves this one as it is of a sweet innocence and it is gushy and a real love song but she plays it with such heartfelt gusto saying the chorus again and again as the song comes to an end.    

“I might just kiss you.”

The crowd cheering loudly for a favorite that seems to appear every so often with a local college band that play instruments for her to sing a few original songs. She’s taking in the audience. In the last few months it seems she been gathering a few followers. It’s cool and all but sometimes these fans kind of come on way to strong and she it takes her from her comfort zone. She’s glad the owner of at least this establishment keeps an eye on the rowdiness. Sometimes things escalate quickly and Felicity feels so out of her element trying to deal with overeager men.

Tonight, is no exception as she’s occupied on her last song of the night that she doesn’t see the lacrosse player she’s had to repeatedly decline slip back stage. The guy doesn’t take no very well. Last time he was extremely drunk and thought she’d do for some fun that night. Kicking him in the gonads wasn’t enough to get the point across that she truly isn’t interested in some guy who creeps her out. Its not like she didn’t express that she was underage and doesn’t even drink. Not that the bar would serve her anyhow. Thank goodness the bouncer threw the lacrosse player out before she’d have to call the police.

That night may be one night of many. So, her enthusiasm to keep rocking hasn’t been spoiled by a few bad apples. She likes to sing these darker songs that fit her young being alone temperament. She’s still a teenager and basically is all by herself in this world if she doesn’t count her mom who is thousands of miles away in Las Vegas. Being a kid and really having to rely on herself is got to be the biggest mood.

When she needed cash for a small project that has become a go to happy hobby of hers. She’s finds old computers and put them back together to create a library of computer power. It costs a lot of dough to refit with new components. Technology is not cheap.

Her roommate seriously told her to try stripping. That got Felicity to raise her eyebrows at the girl. First, she was underage and that didn’t seem to faze her roommate at all it only made Felicity become more withdrawn in that friendship. She isn’t going to become a stripper, she just wasn’t. Soon after she met a few guys at karaoke that had a falling out with their main singer and well after a few conversations they tried it out. She just wants to play short term while they find a new front for the group. She doubts this is what she’ll want long term anyhow.

Her edgy voice bringing the crowd to erupt to a chorus she humming out. It seems they love this particular song. She wrote it weeks ago when a college frat boy broke her heart. He didn’t literal break it with any misdeeds he broke it by telling her she wasn’t his type. His loss because he gave her a song that connected with loads of people. Raising her arm at the end and enjoying the audience clapping she just follows the guys downstairs where this cute college looking guy tells her how great the performance was.

“That was truly awesome.”

“Thanks. My bandmates really did amazing up there.”

“Yea, but your voice. It holds this melody that I really liked.”

She just smiles. Her bandmates already moving out of view. “Thanks again. I’m just going to go back there. I’m super parched.”

“I can get you a drink?”

“Sorry. No thanks. That nice of you…” Felicity gives him another sweet smile before adding, “and all.”

“Tommy. That’s my name.”

“Okay, thanks Tommy. I don’t want to keep you from your friends.” She looking at a few guys holding their thumbs up at him. It makes him sigh.

“Sorry, they are… were with me. Don’t let them get to you. They can be jerks.”

“Well then. You should than probably make better friends.” She winks and starts to leave but then turns to him. “Care to join me in a refreshing bottle of water?”

“Water huh? You’re to young to be alcoholic?” He then adds, “Or just too young?”

“I’m too young to drink.” She laughs as she goes to grab a drink that is left there for her when a hand grabs her wrist.

“Hey, baby miss me?”

“You? What are you doing here?” Felicity trying to wrestle her wrist away with no luck.

“Your voice is so angelic and how can I keep away when all I want is to take care of you babes?” He pushes her closer and her other arm shoots out helping her to keep her distance.

“How did you get backstage?”

Tommy taking in the quick happening scene when his mind took that this guy wasn’t someone she wanted to talk to.

“Hey, I don’t think the lady is interested.”

“Fuck off frat boy. I got this.”

That makes Tommy come closer. Felicity doesn’t want the new stranger to get involved any deeper. “Tommy, its okay. I can handle it.”

“You shouldn’t have to. If this creep is bothering you.” His voice a little higher that it gets the guys that are putting their instruments away off on the other side take notice. They are now on alarm and start to head to Felicity’s defense.

“Hey F’M do you know these guys?”

Felicity pulls her wrist again from the obvious stalker of a few weeks but his grip is tighter.

Tommy speaks out, “I just met her. Though this guy is physically not letting her go.”

“Hey man, let her go!” The four guys from the band are now just poised and looking at the jerk.

“This bitch wants me. We’ve gotten to know each other for awhile now. We are going. Right babe?” He gives her a very dark stare as if she doesn’t cooperate there will be hell to pay.

Felicity gazes at the player and for a split second thinks it be good to listen and no escalation of violence will take place if she just does as he asks. It when she turns her eyes towards Tommy and sees something. A way out. He there and his stance is of someone who will help and not cower but he is waiting on her decision. She nods to him. That nod only makes him rigid. His words now controlled as his deep voice leaves no room of doubt, “She isn’t leaving with you.”

Just before the lacrosse player can say a word the owner has made his appearance with a bouncer and he notices as he gives a look to the player and then looks him dead in the eyes. “I thought I told you to never come back? Get out!”

Felicity pulls hard and her wrist is free. Tommy takes a risk as he places his body between the jerk and the singer he really enjoyed tonight.

Years later…

Felicity walks as silently as she can towards where the door down to the foundry at Verdant. She stops when she hears a voice.

“You know, I knew I know your face from some place.”

Felicity whips around to look at Tommy Merlyn behind a bar. They haven’t really talked since that incident. It was so many years ago. So much has changed. Even the color of her hair is a different. No more Goth and she quite literally is the flipped coin of her youth.

“Hi Tommy. I didn’t see you there?”

“Another late night down stairs working on wiring issues?”

“Um… well.”

“Hmm Hm. You are a busy IT girl. Got to say Oliver really is working you overtime.”

“Well he asked nicely and…”

“I bet he did. I’m more interested in the whole transformation?”

“Transformation? You must be thinking of someone else?”

He laughs. “I could be. Though I think we both know you are the spitting image of F’M Smoak.” He sees she doesn’t say a word waiting on what he is going to say next. “Felicity Smoak what does M stand for?”

“My middle name Megan.”

“You gave up singing?”

She shrugs. “It brought out some weirdos and my passion is with technology.”

“You were good?”

“I think you are just being nice.”

He pulls a shirt from under the bar. Letting her see the name across the smoke’s emblem of her name. “I’ve held on to this shirt since seeing you for a third time. It was hard to go backstage because of the bouncers. Heard you were getting way too many eager fans.”

“Yea, side effect. It all died down after I took a work study program working with my main love.”

“Good for you. Though it be a shame if that voice never makes a debut again.”

“Tommy, let us keep this little story to ourselves. No one needs to know.”

“Fine, if that is what you really want. Verdant could use the talent.”

“Well Merlyn, maybe I could play a set on Halloween because that is the only time, I’ll wear a mask and even be something I’m not anymore.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“And I am deeply sorry that you got a black eye over me.”

“Oh yes, that dude threw a mean one.”

“He was a total ass and let’s just say that he’s still on the government watch list to this day.”

Tommy smiles. “Okay Smoak, guess you should go do whatever you’re supposed to be doing.” He winks at her as he turns around. “He is most likely downstairs being moody while wondering where you are.”

She shakes her head, “It isn’t like that.”

He doesn’t turn to look at her again, “Sure! If you say so. Goodnight.” He knows she still there as he lets out the last melody of a certain song, “I might just kiss you.”

He hears her whimsical laughter as she calls out “Night Tommy!”

When he hears the downstairs lock click, he turns to watch her go. Mumbling low, “Damn fool downstairs has no idea what a lucky prick he is.”

[louiesmixtape]

let me make this clear - i was NOT a new kids on the block fan. like many boy bands, i could rock with a few of their songs because let’s be real, boy bands give you some ear worm joints, but i never fan gurled over them. that would come later during teen years when i fell in love with russell neal of hi-five. lawd, i had a wall of posters that i got out of black beat and right magazines dedicated to them. but i digress. back to these white boys from boston. new kids on the block were the biggest boy band of the 1980’s with their imperial faze peaking in 1989 and 1990. and these boys got huge fast! at the start of 1989, they were these unknown mediocre pop group with a decent lead singer. but what gave them some “edge” was that radio listeners initially thought they were black after hearing “(you got it) the right stuff.” yeah, i know what you’re thinking but the song did peak inside the top 20 on the r&b chart. the 80’s were something else. but to the defense of radio listeners, pop radio, which at that time REALLY meant white radio, was so bland and boring that the new kids on the block were edgy. that’s the best defense, i have y’all. anywho, they began 1989 touring with the teen pop queen tiffany as her opening act. half way through that tour, she was opening for them. OUCH! their sophomore “hangin’ tough” was so successful that it boasted five top 10 singles including a pair of number one singles and this b-side “my favorite girl.” only released to radio in janaury of 1990 to hold off fans until the summer of release of their third album, “my favorite girl” was a radio hit. now, again, i was not a fan of new kids but the melody of this song slaps. but it was the c&c music factory freestyle remix that sealed the deal with me. it gave the song the umph that ur needed and made it - how do i say this - a fuckin’ dope ass pop/dance song. “my favorite girl” was not released as a commercial single so it was ineligible to chart on the hot 100. it also limited it’s reach outside of the new kids universe and those who were pulled in because of their catchy pop songs. again, i was not a fan of theirs but i will forever dance my ass off to this song.

[completleymessy01]

7.5.20

Hi. I have alot to talk about, and idk if i will get to everything. Alot has happened since my last post. We are still on lockdown, im bored, but liking my new life more than my old one. I have managed to lose quite alot of weight, and im worried that ive reached my peak and wont be able to lose any more wieght. When really, i still need to lose atleast another 2-3kg. I believe in myself though. Im going to push through and really try hard to lose the remaining weight. Im saying this because today i ate rather unhealthy and had like four cookies. I actually have a “ sugar:” heacahe, which is a sore head i get when i have had too much junk food. My weight is just one of the many things on my mind. My father got arrested around a month ago and I have had no sort of contact with him. I miss him so much. I have to wait till atleast july 6th before i can speak to him. Whats so frustrating is that no one tells me shit. I dont know why i cant see him till then, all i knwo is that if i do, he will go to prison. That some mean shit right there. I have all these people telling me its a good thing he isnt in my life anymore.Saying that i have been abused and shouldnt want him in my life . But what they dont seem to understand is that he is me and im him. I am atleats 50% of him. Which terrifies me, i see it when i look into the mirror. His eyes, his lips, his resting face. I see it in my emotions. the anger that burns inside, when i shout at my brother i worry i will shout at my kids, abuse my kids, the same way my father abused me. Thats why i stand by his side. because i wish that my kids will stand by my side if i was to ever abuse them. Its like ive already decdied that i will be an awful mother. Like my father was to me. People tell me im nothing like him, but i know i am. I am different from others. I dont really feel much. and that scares the shit out of me. Tonight i feel lonley, and sorta wish i had a boyfriend lying next to me. A man in my life who would protect me from my father, and not let anyone treat me like shit or abuse me. Someone to hold me, look after me, look after my mum. I have this oveerwhelming feeling to care and nurture my mother and my brother. Like its my responsbility to look after them,my mother doesnt have any money and we are poor without my step dad. i wish i could make money somehow and provide for my family. One day i will. i swear to it. Being a victim of abuse has made me stronger. People at school, think im just the blonde pretty girl who has no personality and is dramatic. I can garantee im not. My father is a convict, my mother is stuck in a relationship for money, my brother suffers from multiple mental health issues. Dont even get started on me. Theres this one girl in my year, for some reason she really irritates me. I mean, she is pretty normal. Has lots of friends that are girls and boys, posts tik toks, is an old friend of my bestest friends. But she annoys me. She is a clear example of a privelledged person in my year who has no clue of the real world, and probably never will. She is popular, and whne ur popular u have so much power its insane. Im not popular. I dont know why, but i dont have alot of friends, When i do make a friend, they often say to me “ jeez your not as bad as everyone makes out” my heart always sinks. What is it about me thats so awful? I mean its probably the fact that i wear a mask to school, i act confident, smart, your tyypical dramatic teenage girl, when really im not confident, i dont think im smart and really nothing fucking fazes me. I sometimes think about posting online “ guess what? Just thought i would let you know i was abused all my life, emotionally and physcially by my dad, and now he has been arrested, so no, im not some fdramatic brat that has no clue, i know more about the real world than any of you” that would make me happy for about two seconds until i am then percieved as the attention seeking bitch. i mean, i swear you cant win in high school. I found out my classes for next year, there is this boy in one of my classes that i used to have a thing for, we talked at parties, over snpachat, but then out of nowhere he started dating some girl that was really popular and i guess u could say “edgy” however i was used to never getting the boy i liked so i moved on. But now he is in one of my three classes and i really cant afford to be distracted. Netx year is going to be the best year, i will hopefully be skinny, be applying to uni, be making friends, going to parties, possibly even a boyfriend. Although i am extremley picky, and the type of girl who likes one boy and wont settle for anyone else. Anyway my sugar headache is overpowering me and im tired. So night

[okietrish]

Second Sun: pt. 1~ Greta Van Fleet

Hey guys! This is my first time writing anything like this. I’m a massive fan of Greta and have been pissed to find that there is no fan fiction anywhere!!!! So I took matters into my own hands. Feed back would be wonderful. I’ll take requests, all that Jazz, whatever y’all want I’m willing to give it a shot. Alright. Y’all enjoy this first part.

PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your mind isn’t a place that comes without chaos. It’s cloudy at times and riddled with worrisome thoughts and essentric dreams that spiral you into realizing that you’re not conventional in the least. This isn’t a new realization by any means, its obvious to you that your brain doesn’t function habitually. When you were younger you didn’t find yourself speaking your mind all that much due to anxiety, but you craved being heard, being noticed, being a person... that’s where writing came into play. It started off with poems, ridiculous journals that are so ‘edgy’ from when you were 12. It actually was “just a faze,” thank god, which made your mother happy...

Gradually through time and experience and aggressively going through far too many notebooks, your writing got far better, more natural for you, which lead to the true love of your life, music.

Music is constantly playing through your head, evident right now as you’re standing in line at Spill’n The Beans, hands down the best coffee shop due to the name alone. The people surrounding you look on curiously, unbeknownst to you, as you perform a detailed toe tapping/air drumming combo to the beat of You Shook Me by Zeppelin. The coffee shop wasn’t crowded this morning. Quiet, secluded, enough space around you to allow all of the thoughts and ideas to flow easily without the stress of other people to suffocate your mind. When you approach the front of the line you take your head phones out and get greeted by the warm, nostalgic smile of your best friend.

“Y/N, I’ve never been so happy to see your sexy self”

“My god Syd I saw you at home 40 minutes ago, miss me already?” You laughed at her look of betrayal knowing you’re in for a dramatic performance.

“Y/N Y/L/N I barely see you anymore and we live together. It’s all music now a days!” Her arms are on her hips now, mothering you like always. She complains of it, but you know deep down she loves to look after you.

You looked behind you making sure no one was in line waiting as she continued in a voice that was suppose to mock your own.

“‘Sorry love I have to practice bass.’ ’sorry Syd I have this tune stuck in my head and I need to go write’ ‘sorry Syd I’m just too fucking rock and roll to hang out with you and binge watch Harry Styles compilations anymore!’”

You looked at her for a moment, a smirk rising to your lips as your snorted a bit at your chaotic friend.

“Are you done?” You asked laughing.

“Yes, but I do miss you.” She said as she began making the same ice coffee combo you get every morning on your way to work, black cold brew with one pump of vanilla. A bitter sweet combo to kickstart your mind.

“I miss you too.” You spoke over the coffee machine. You did feel bad about not spending as much time with her as you wanted to.

“I get off tonight at 6, wanna have a movie night?” You offered.

Syd poked her head above the machine, her eyes crinkled, evident that she was grinning ear to ear.

“Nah I’m good.” She said smugly and ducked back down. If you rolled your eyes any harder they would be stuck.

“Got fuck your self, pick up snacks on your way home, I’ll grab McDonald’s. Lets have a date.” She handed you your coffee with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan. See you later sis.” She flipped you off as you walked out. It was a routine, a sign of love and endeaarance put into place god only knows how long ago.

Your drive to work was nothing abnormal. Songs shuffled and inspiration flew through your veins. Today you felt good. Hopefully it stayed like that, you thought.

You pulled up to Jackknife Records at 8:20am, 10 minutes early for your shift, per usual. Grabbing all of your belongings out of your car you made your way inside, immediately being greeted by your boss and owner of the store Rob.

“Morning Y/N!” His lanky arm waved happily towards you.

“Rob, my man, any cool drop offs last night?” You say making your way behind the counter to set down your stuff.

“There’s an old beat up Beatles White Album back there. She looks like she was used and loved, it’s still in great condition. It’s on my desk waiting for you.”

You always had this routine with Rob. If anyone dropped off some cool vinyls, or any odd ball things he thought you would enjoy he saved them for you in his office. You never asked him to, he just noticed you always bought records from the store so he quickly developed an idea for your taste. Which wasn’t really anything specific, if it had a good vibe you loved it. Good music is good music no genre or decade could put a box around it.

“You’re the best!”

You began your usual routine as Rob opened up the store. Stacking records, scanning and placing tags, the mundane things that brought the record store to life.

It was a slow day, seeing as it was Saturday morning and everyone was likely hungover from the night before. Days like this are your favorite, though you do enjoy busy days where you get to help people figure out their taste and what they want, or need, in their life musically, but days like this meant that you could listen to music and write.

Rob knew you got your work done through and through, so he was never bothered by you writing on the job or playing music for everyone to hear, occasionally even bringing your bass to work and playing in the corner. He knew you were a good worker and if anyone came in you’d take care of them. This place was like your home, had been for 2 years now since Rob offered you a job. He is an old family friend, went to high school with your dad way back in the day. So when you moved out to LA for school you dad made a phone call to Rob and he took you under his wing.

You helped out a few customers here and there, tidied up some more, but mostly all you did was listen to different music and sing along.

It was around noon now, so you began stocking some cd’s while Rob was behind the counter. Occasionally Rob would throw in a request here and there and take the store’s music into his own hands, which is why Whose Loving You by The Jackson 5 began playing over the speakers.

“Rob what the hell?” You laughed at him. You knew he put this on knowing it’s your go-to karaoke song. He does it at least once a week.

“Oh hush, no one is in here. Sing your heart out kiddo.” He joking dismissed you with his hand. You laughed at his ‘dad’ antics.

You continued stocking cd’s when your voice came in perfectly, the first run was second nature at this point.

“When I had you” you were being dramatic now, hand movements, extra ear plugging motions pretending like you were Christina Aguilera to be funny. Rob was laughing to himself as he walked into the back room. You continued, not even realizing he left.

“I treated you bad

And wrong, my dear

And girl since

Since you went away”

You were back to stocking CD’s when the hook came around, singing effortlessly, but eloquently.

“Don't you know I

Sit around

With my head hangin' down

And I wonder

Who's lovin' you”

You sang through the song, not even thinking about the notes at this point. This song was constantly on loop in your brain since your dad showed it too you some 15 years ago. You were within yourself in those moments. Oblivious to all around you other than your voice, the song, and the robotic motions of CD’s organization. The bell ringing on the front door didn’t register to you as you went about singing. It wasn’t until the song ended and another one came on that you didn’t recognize that you looked up and noticed four guys, around your age, looking at you curiously. They were still standing by the front door, seemingly frozen in their place as they looked on completely infatuated with the sight in front of them. You. The tall one with long brown hair down to his collar bones with a jean shirt on began clapping for you, thoroughly impressed. You became flustered immediately going into apologetic mode, per usual.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry! I didn’t even hear you come in.” You paused looking at them expectantly for you don’t know what, but they just continued looking at you, smiling.

You began again,

“Sorry umm... feel free to look around. Sorry for singing so loud... let me know if you have any questions.”

You walked back to behind the counter to switch the music again. You hooked up your phone and just pressed shuffle, trying to find something catchy, but mostly something to smooth out your nerves at the moment.

You felt a presence in front of you, looking up you discovered it was the guy who clapped before, his friends scattered about the store.

“Hey! Your voice is sick. Sorry we interrupted your personal concert.” His fingers were tapping on the counter as he looked at you. It seemed more like a habit to him, not necessarily a motion of impatience or anything like that. He was kind, immediately you picked up on that, his smile was endearing.

“Oh thanks! And don’t worry about it, I was just bored.” You smiled back. This seemed to guide him into the conversation.

“Cool store by the way. You seem to have a pretty legit collection. My brother’s, my friend and I were just walking past and just had to come in. The music guided us, ya know?”

You laughed a bit at his relaxed nature, seemingly mirroring your own. You haven’t met many people like that.

“I feel that, music can guide you anywhere. Most of the time it’s where you need to go most.” You said as matter of fact.

He put his hand up for a high five, which you granted, “Hell yeah. I’m Sam by the way.”

He stuck his hand out towards you again, this time for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you Sam, I’m Y/N.” You chuckled as you shook his hand. He turned towards the other guys and released your hand.

“Hey, losers, come here really quick.”

He turned back to you and smiled before turned to the guys again. He stepped to the side so they could see you.

“This right here is Y/N she is dope, so far, and has a sick voice and clearly good music taste because look at that Bo Diddley shirt. I need that shit. I mean... Come on! We’re best friends now.” He smiled at you with a cheesy look.

They boys and you laughed at Sam’s antics, it was obvious that they were beyond use to the ridiculousness of Sam’s personality by now.

You quickly said, “Hey!” to all of them and they introduced themselves to you.

The tall one, about Sam’s height, walked up to you first. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very delicate floral design on it partnered with black shorts that hit just above his knee. His Birkenstock’s were well worn it, but in decent shape. He looked relaxed and childish in a way, a trusting face. Someone you could tell everything to, very trusting.

“Hey Y/N, I’m Danny. Nice to meet you! Love the shirt.” His smile was contagious. A kind soul. You smiled, your mouth opening to reply before someone spoke up.

“Your outfit in total is just suburb. The shirt, the high waisted shorts, the Birkenstock’s. Fantastic. I’m Josh by the way.” You were overwhelmed but not frightened in the least by his quick words. He seemed friendly as well, he spoke with his hands, twisting them, retailing every syllable with a flick of a finger. Very unique. That uniqueness ran through to his outfit. Short red shorts, a black flowing shirt decorated with layered necklaces with different details on each.

You smiled in your reply, “you’re very kind, also where the hell did you get your shoes, I love them.” They were small, black Toms looking shoes.

Josh smiles at you sweetly, even more in tuned with the conversation, which you didn’t think was possible, “Well you see, they are 100% recycled material. You can wash them and they have a lifetime warranty. I can give you the website, love them!” All the boys seemed to laugh at Josh’s enthusiasm.

The unnamed one speaking up, “Oh please don’t get him started on those damn shoes!” He laughed while stroking his bottom lip with his right thumb and pointer finger. “I’m Jake by the way. Lovely to meet you.”

Jake was intriguing to you. He carried himself differently than the other boys, as far as you could tell. Still kind and light hearted, more monotoned. He work black skinny jeans, brown boots and a grey t-shirt topped with a brown floppy hat.

You smiled at all of the boys.

“You guys seems cool. What brings you down here?” You move so you’re sitting on the counter, having a feeling you will be talking for a while.

Josh spoke up first, “We’re recording some songs at the moment, trying to get to an album, but we got stuck. So we decided to get some inspiration out here.”

The way he spoke was captivating, confident in a way that captured everyone’s attention. You were fascinated.

“LA is inspirational if you allow it to be. Are you guys all in a band?”

They all nodded their heads yes.

“Alright who does what? Wait can I guess?!” You we’re excited.

“Hell yeah go for it.” Sam said. They all stood in a line, it looked as if they were in a police line up, you giggled but stared at them intently.

“Alright... Danny, you’re the drummer.”

“Fuck you’re good!” Danny said laughing and stepping out of line walking over to you giving you a high five.

“It’s the arms my man, dead give away.” You smiled at him and continued. “Sam... singer? No. No. No. guitar?” You questioned. Crossing your arms, looking far to serious for this situation.

“Ha! No! I’m bass and keys baby!” He then played air piano aggressively and walked over to stand with Danny.

You laughed and continued.

“Josh, you’re obviously the singer.” You said with false confidence.

“Woah!” Josh was shocked. “What’s so obvious about it!?”

“My friend, you annunciate your words eloquently, so it was a good guess.” You said smiling at the curly haired man.

“Touché Y/N. Touché.” He walked towards the other boys while staring you down jokingly.

You hopped off the counter walking towards Jake. Jokingly inspecting him you walked around him pretending to judge him harshly.

“Hmmmm... Jake Jake Jake.” You stopped standing in front of him, looking up into his eyes. You were taken aback a bit by his steady glare, a smirk appeared on his face.

“You, darling, are a guitar player.”

He smiled at you, “oh yeah?”

You walked away jokingly confident, “yes of course, your hands are calloused to all hell.”

Sam jumped towards you throwing his arm around you, “Damn Y/N 3/4 ain’t bad at all!”

They all laughed along. You realized you knew what they all played, but no idea what band they were in.

“Wait, what’s the name of the band. Maybe I have heard of you!” You looked at Sam expectingly.

“Greta Van Fleet.” He said nodding his head down firmly, seemingly proud.

“What kind of music do y’all play?”

“Give me your phone I’ll show you!”

You grabbed your phone, unlocking it and handing it to Sam. He immediately opened Spotify. While Sam was looking them up Josh looked like he got an idea.

“Y/N you should come by tonight! We’re having a bonfire, it’ll be fun!”

You go to reply but the sound of a guitar blaring through the speakers interrupts your train of thought. You’re instantly taken aback by the music. Immediately feeling your body bounce with the beat, you begin to press your fingers on your right hand to your thumb. An anxiety coping mechanism that centers your focus onto one thing. It’s a habit of yours.

The boys look at you curiously again, but you don’t notice.

Jake smiled and explained, “This is Black Smoke Rising.”

You agknowledge him with a smile and a head nod. Far too into the music to reply. This always happens to you, your ear for music goes beyond the lyrics and main instruments. You’re a song writer through and through, you connect with songs in a euphoric way, and uncontrollable reaction.

The song comes to an end. The boys look at you, waiting for your response. You stared at all of them, taking your time looking at each and every one of them for a moment.

“Guys, that was absolutely sick. That’s just... Sam give me my phone.”

He immediately handed it over to you.

You quickly save their music to your library and follow the band.

“We have a new fan!” Josh says with a smile as wide as his face. He continues, “so will you come tonight? Please?” He batts his eyes at you pleading.

You hesitate, “I would love to, but I have plans with my best friend Syd tonight. I can’t bail.”

All the boys looked at you, evidently bummed by your answer. Jake is the one who spoke up.

“See if she wants to come! If not, that’s fine. Here, put your number in my phone. I’ll text you the details.” He handed you his phone. As you typed in your number you said hopefully,

“Perfect! I’ll see what I can do!” You smile at all of them, Jake opened his mouth to say something when the front door bell rang followed by a group of teenagers coming in the store. You looked over seeing that the group was looking a little lost.

“Well boys, it was lovely to meet you, but I do have to get some work done. I get off at 6 tonight, so I’ll let you know if I can make it!”

The guys looked at you with big smiles filled with excitement.

“Wonderful!” Sam said clapping his hands together. “Just let us know!” He smiles and have me a side hug before walking towards to door. Josh said goodbye to me next with a hug and an excited clap of his hands, leaving with a wink causing you to laugh. Danny walked over to you and gave you a sweet side hug, “Hope you can make it tonight Y/N!” He waved to you while he walked away.

You smiled and waved as he walked out the door, chasing after the other boys who were out of the store by now. Your eyes fell to Jake who looked at you with an amused face.

“What?” You looked at him and giggled.

“You’re just...” He shook his head and smiled at the ground before continuing, “I hope you come tonight Y/N.” He took a step towards you and stopped, shuffling his feet, debating something, before walking towards the door. He stopped and looked back at you, “I’ll text you, alright?” You nodded your head towards him and waved goodbye before he walked out the door.

You went back to work, helping the other customers in the store before finishing your cd stocking. Rob came back out from his office and sent you on your much needed lunch break.

You made your way to the back room with your lunch box in hand, a nervous smile spreading on your lips while you pulled out your phone quickly typing in Syd’s contact to shoot her a text.

Y/N: Soooooo... How do you feel about going to a bonfire tonight instead a movie night🤗

Syd: Y/N. I don’t like people. You know this.

Y/N: Yes, but I will still buy you McDonalds, and there will be cute boys👏🏻

Syd: I mean... you had me with the nuggets, but boys help. You owe me. 🖕🏻

Y/N: 🖕🏻❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

THANK YOU FOR READING!

SHOOT ME SOME FEEDBACK LOVES!

-Trish

[wxnnabe]

20 with Abbacchio from the prompt list

I hope this is alright!! I tried my hand at some angst this time so we’ll see how it goes! More under the cut~

Leone Abbacchio had changed. Not just in physical appearance, it seemed-the air that he carried was so different to the man you fell in love with. Your Leone was strong-willed, determined, hopeful. His serious gaze would soften only for those he was closest to. This Leone, the one that spotted held you gaze from across the restaurant as you dined with an old friend was empty. Cold. Full of  shame, regret. He had looked away from your piercing gaze quickly, and he got up and left shortly after. You will yourself to stay in your seat, and even though you didn’t want to leave your friend…it had been years since you last saw him, since he ran out of your life and left your heart in pieces.

He didn’t even leave a letter, note, nothing. It was you who pieced it together shortly after his family and friends shunned him for his acts, after the scandal got out. By then, your lover was long gone. You took a shaky breath, turning your head from the door to your friend. They look concerned.

“Hey, is something the matter?” You clear your throat.

“No, I just thought I recognized someone. Ah, you were saying something about the chief executor at your work?” They smiled as they rolled their eyes.

“Right. Yeah, she’s a real piece of work…”

Maybe you shouldn’t follow after the past, you thought to yourself as you parted with your friend. You had spent the past six months trying to convince yourself that you were over him, and that he had far from moved on. It sure seemed like that. You weren’t dumb, you knew the man he now followed. You heard the whispers of gossip when you turned your back. You knew Bruno Buccellati to be a double edged blade. He did good for the community…but did he do that you didn’t know about? You shuddered to think of it. Leone was far, far from the person he once was. You sometimes wondered if he knew how much you thought of him, or whether he knew how much you yearned to see his smile. Maybe you had everyone fooled but yourself. You still loved him, and now that you saw him, you would try to talk with him. Help him. Maybe he just needed your support. He was always so awfully stubborn.

But a voice in your head stopped you. Your Leone wouldn’t follow this kind of path. Your Leone was driven by the will to do good and solve the mysteries hiding behind true justice. Your Leone wouldn’t follow a man who swapped good and evil deeds in his hands like a juggling act. This man, whatever had become of Leone, it wasn’t your lover who left you. He was a different man.

Weeks past, and you tried to forget about him. Maybe, this hauntingly familiar image of your lover was a blessing in disguise. Maybe you’d finally be able to move on, knowing he wanted nothing to do with you. It, instead, made you all the more curious, and all the more hopeful.

So when you saw him next, in a small corner bar nearby that restaurant you’d spotted him in a couple of weeks back, you were surprised to see him out. Wouldn’t he be out working on a night like this? You didn’t really understand the entrapment’s of an organised crime syndicate, much less what an individual spent their time doing whilst they were under sworn loyalty of an organisation such as Passione. But you had reason to believe they didn’t spent all their nights off duty.

Besides, it was your anniversary, after all. Perhaps he had already forgotten? He didn’t look to fazed by a new face entering the already crowded bar, and a part of you wished he would just look at you already. Stare at you. Grab you and hold you in his arms and kiss you. You really were looking like the desperate, unrequited lover at this point. He didn’t look fazed in the slightest about the date, apart from the drinking-which sounded like his new routine judging on the rumours you heard. You sat at the bar, opposite his own lonely spot, despite your friends advice. Despite your own advice.

A part of you hadn’t given up on him. You didn’t know if you could point him back in the right direction, back to a way that gave you more hope for both of your futures. You didn’t even know if you wanted… whether it really was right, to do that. But that is what you would do.

The ice was melting your drink, and you downed the last of it as the smooth liquor trailed down and burned your throat. Your eyes glanced up and fell right into his smoldering gaze. What was he going to do? You thought he would at least give you something, a smile, a nod, anything. Something to say that the past year hadn’t gone to shit. That he cared. That he even…remembered.

Instead, he calls the bartender over for another drink. You’re left glaring into your empty glass for a while until you do the same. This continues, for more than you’d like it to frankly. You’re more than a little intoxicated, when you notice him nod to you. Once. Your aware now, that you’ve had butterflies in your stomach this whole time. It could be meant for someone else-but who are you kidding, this is Leone. Your Leone or not, he wouldn’t waste time on those he didn’t care for. Thinking you were something he still cared about made your heart jump in your rib cage. Having Leone care for you was bad if you were planning on getting over him. You could hear your friends voice in the back of your head. You didn’t care. If it meant that he was hurt just as much as you were, it would suffice. It would make the heartbreak a little easier to swallow.

He stood up, left a more than generous tip that he’d never be able to give out in his policing days, and walked in your direction. You couldn’t help but allow your gaze to follow him; he didn’t even make eye contact with you. He did, however, brush against you slightly; you took this as chance to move from your seat and pay a reasonable tip behind and follow him out. You wouldn’t let him leave without getting something out of him.

You open the door, and step out into the empty night. Goosebumps rise on your skin, and you wrap your arms around yourself. You circle him, as he stares you down. At least he’s not brooding on some garbage on the side of the street, or this would feel even more cheap and cliche than it already did. He has that same burning look in his eyes-and, for the first time in what seems like a lifetime, he speaks to you.

“Why the fuck are you following me?” You scoffed, and narrowed your eyes at him.

“That’s…does that really make you sleep better? That I’m the desperate ex?” You’re not good with edgy sad talks with your ex outside a relatively quiet bar on a Thursday night. He blinks, and he looks away for a moment. You take this as a moment to step closer to him.

“What happened to you, Leone? You…seem so. Fuck. It’s like I’m looking at a broken you. Do you really think following Bruno Buccellati will bring you salvation?” So, you fucked up. You paid the ultimate price. But you can grow. You, Leone, you can pick yourself up and keep on walking. I know you can. Just, not like this. His brows scrunched together, and he glared at you with an intensity you’d never seen in him before. You held your breath.

“Don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken,” The words came out slowly, but as he spat each word out they each hit you with enough force to have you reeling. It stung to hear him talk to you like that. You softened your glare, and took another cautious step closer to him; you were almost touching. His breath is ragged, and he seems tense, but you can’t help it. You slowly brought your hand up to caress his cheek, but he grabbed your hand and held it in a firm grip. Not tight enough to hurt, but firm. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

“Don’t.” His voice faltered, if only slightly, but he kept his eyes on you this time. There was so much mixed emotion swimming in those eyes, you could see it. Shame, regret, pain, anger…you had wounded his pride, maybe. Or Bruno Buccellati’s? You knew uttering his name would stir something in Leone. It hurt to think that maybe this man, this Bruno Buccellati, had replaced you altogether. Erased you from Leone’s life. You lowered your hand, slowly, and he loosened his grip on your arm.

“I never said…I mean, what do I know? Last time I saw you was on the TV report after you packed your bags and left me,” He gave you a blank look, and dropped your hand completely.

“I’m not broken. But…a part of me…it died that night. With him,” He stood back, and took two more paces away from you. His eyes were cold, and held nothing but a warning.

“Don’t you dare try and find me again,” And with that, he walked off, into the cold autumn night.

You stand there for a few moments, watching his figure fading into the other figures walking through the streets. He was gone. Again. And you had no answers from him, and the pain and hurt he had put you through was crashing into you like a wave. You let your feet dragged you further into the alley way before you slumped on the wall and burst into tears.

[thelostandforgottenangel]

~One More Time~

I wrote this before my son got hurt and if I don’t return after tomorrow then this will be my last post until things get better... Love you all and I’m sorry 

N.G.T.B.S.F.W    Wish I could have finished this series I have one for Leo, Donnie, and Mikey maybe I’ll someday be able to write again but best I can do is the depressing and sad right now

@bloody-hands-pure-hearts1329 @bloody-hands-pure-hearts1 @fyreball66 @betelgeusessonajblog @tmntwhat-you-get-is-what-you-see and all my lovelies hope you all enjoy if this really is my last fanfiction!

She had walked into the lair for the first time in weeks and having acted like she had been there only the day before this was bound to happen, she had told her friends she would be there at seven sharp that night to hang out before they had to go on patrol but nonchalantly walked in at close to ten when they were already gone. Between her work and life getting in the way she had accidently pushed them to the side without meaning too

He was fuming, that was to be expected but this was so new to her; she had never seen him like this. She had never seen the hotheaded red masked turtle so on edgy and rigid as he paced the room looking ready to kill

Raphael was normally so sweet and kind to her even smiling in that way that she would swoon for when nobody was around but the second his golden eyes saw her come through that door acting so carefree he had become a different man; growling dangerously with each word, she had been backed into a wall as he approached her his body flexed and stiff making an unknowing fear drive her to keep space between their bodies the look he gave her as one she had never seen yet the second the wall was stopping her he was in front of her completely heated snarling his words but the passion that had hit her all at the same time when he kissed her had the woman submitting to his will.

His touch was so tender even though he was still growling at her, lifting her body up the wall the turtle caressed her face his hard body pressed against her. The kiss was quick to become needy when she moaned as his body rubbed against hers, that snarled out promise of how he was ‘going to fuck you senseless’ and that growled ‘you fucking belong to me’ had her wrenching her trapped arms out of his grasp then straight around his neck pulling him in for more grinding against him as his hips pressed hard to hers in steady thrust rubbing his obvious problem against her heated clothed center.

Before she even processed it he had pulled her off the wall tossing her over his shoulder, she blinked and he had her in his room that thick metal door slamming hard before she was thrown on his bad, her body bounced but before she was back down the solid click of a lock and his massive form reached her at the same time. Clothes ripped in his frenzy of kisses and touches, they shredder from her body under his strong hands as he tried to get to her but nothing could have prepared her for the sheer pleasure that shot through her as he threw her legs open took her without warning

No matter how wet she was it was a tight fit and stretching for him was done slower, not tonight her body accepted him fast screaming his name the second he was deep inside her, that first thrust made her eyes roll shaking as he drove into her hard

She had no choice but to let the turtle use her even if she put up no fight, Raph took her as he pleased; be it speed, force, or position, that night she gave into him and let him fuck her anyway he wanted.

They had been going all night now and by his alarm clock she knew the sun would be coming back up which meant the others would be coming home soon and yet his hunger for her was still unappeasable and unwavering.

He hadn’t slowed in the least, her massive mates pleasure didn’t seem to have an end as he pounded her into his mattress over and over again bringing her over the edge without trying having lost count of how many times she had cum yet he had only came twice making her crazy from the lust.

She was a twitching pleasured mess, his thick cock was too good and every move left her on a drugged out daze begging for more when it slammed into her again even as she started to hurt.

Her paled skin showed what his feral passions had brought on and she loved it, seeing bruises of all sizes and severities from his hands holding her or grabbing at her body to hold her down or in place while he slammed into her tight body darkened by the moment, dark hickies and bite marks showed on the other half of her body; each time he drove forward in a new way his teeth sunk into her skin around her neck or shoulders growling deeply as he latched on then would pound her harder chuckling darkly as the excited moans ripped out of her lungs followed by his name, each small wail or cry, begging whimpers or scream escaping her at a new thrust egged him on

Oh but the second he slammed in and was deep in her womb she was done for

“SHIT!!! A-AAAHHHH FUCK RAPH~!” she moaned and screamed her legs shaking in his grasp as he pushed them up finally getting her in one of his favorites “RAPHAEL~!” her walls clamping down around his fast moving member painfully getting a pleased churr but didn’t seem to faze him too much “Baby … Oh please! Mmm I c-can’t-” those words had him moving faster watching her thrashing on the mattress as he pushed his woman to the edge but didn’t allow her to cum avoiding that sweet spot he easily could find “R-R-RAPH I’M BEGGING YOU~!”

He loved hearing her begging for him having thought she would have told him to stop she was still taking him, her body glimmering in the light from the moisture coating her skin.

Raph’s need filled desire for his woman was unrelenting

“B~Baby please” she pleaded; her trembling voice cracking as she tried to cover her mouth knowing at any second the guys would be back and they would be caught, her hand muffled it a little to his displeasure as he drove in hard making her hands grab his shoulders to hold onto him. Part of the woman had thought he’d finally exhaust himself, but that clearly wasn’t the case tonight feeling his hips snap forward her insides ached and filled out with his load but after only two minutes of a short breather he was recovered and ready to go again.

His huge hands holding her waist a little tighter giving a good hard thrust into her pussy made her whine in desperation crying out as she dropped going limp finally unable to take anymore, she was never one to tap out but after a full night of having her insides rearranged she did hitting his shell repeatedly wrapping her legs around his waist to stop him from moving “Oh god no more~ Raph stop please your going to kill me baby~” the sudden feeling of a large hand tangling into her sweat soaked hair seeing the grin on his face as he started pulling it lightly biting her neck rolling his hips sinking in all the way “No it’s too much!”

He rolled them over bringing her hips up off the bed and going deep had her shaking her head pleading with him but he silenced her with a reassuring kiss one hand finding her throat “One more please, I know ya gots least one round left fer yer alpha~”

Those tired yet so bright eyes came up and he had hoped to god she could see it, his golden orbs looking deep into his lovers pleaded with her, he really needed this. 

Raphael needed her so badly.

She gave a soft whimper shifting slightly but nodded telling him to keep going as he started plunging inside her again so much slower dragging it out but could see it was helping her as she grinned moaning his name happily, he held her as if she were a priceless gem worshiping her body, she was amazing for putting up with him like this and he showed his appreciation while he went as deep as possible feeling her tightening moaning out his own pleasure growling out her name begging for her

She grasped his ass as he hit a sweet spot deep inside her pulling on him silently telling him to move more being rewarded as her legs loosened letting him open them and return to his free movements

He grabbed the bed above her head thrusting hard once testing her nearly coming undone when she screamed his name smiling before rutting her fast “Fuck ‘m gonna cum- gonna go deep fer this fill ya so full ya be mine til da end a time” she nodded practically begging him to fill her again so close to her finish she didn’t give a damn if he fucking broke her she needed his body to finish her… she needed him just as badly after being apart for so long “C’mon kitten~ cum all over that cock fer yer Alpha”

His words brought on his normal intensity, more hard thrust of his hips into her abused tunnel as he started rubbing her sensitive pearl with the gentlest caress she had ever felt sent her over. She came hard the shrill cry leaving her feeling his perfect body stiffen grunting as he slammed into her roughing over and over, his eyes meeting the tear filled pools as he churred spilled his seed into her womb holding her on him as he bucked kissing her cheek and whispering so many admirations into her skin as he marked her body all over again. His whispered ‘I love you’ repeated as he moved slower making sure every bit of his cum was left inside his woman just as the others voices found her ears

He shifted lying them both down in his messed up sheets cuddling her close before realizing she was so worn out her eyes were already closed mumbling for him to stay with her until he was nestled close chuckling at her love drunk babbling of praises until her breathing slowed nuzzling his face into her neck

He dosed off smiling knowing in a few short hours when he woke she would still be there and he planned on making up for lost time with her

[andrew-buchan-fansite]

Andrew Buchan plays Franklin Clarke

What was it about this project that made you want to be a part of it?

I have seen And Then There Were None and Ordeal by Innocence and I thought they were brilliant and there was something very hypnotising about them. It’s recreating the art of it and the beauty of it in a very stylised way. It wasn’t just creating pretty pictures; it was the grain running through it and the acting. With that in mind then coming to The ABC Murders, and what Sarah Phelps has written was and is brilliant.

Can you tell us about your character; who is Franklin Clarke?

Franklin Clarke is a very amiable, friendly guy who is the brother of Sir Carmichael Clarke. He lives at Combside with Sir Carmichael and his wife; Lady Hermione Clarke. They get on famously and it’s a nice tight-knit family atmosphere.

It’s the 1930s and there is that sense of tension in Britain post-war and Poirot is seen as a stranger; can you talk about where we are and where it is set?

It’s the 1930s post-war Britain and at this moment in time, in England, fascism is on the rise. There is underlying suspicion and a distinct mistrust of people from other countries. Hercule fits into that description and is on the receiving end of some quite unpleasant treatment and verbal abuse from passers-by; people he knows and all because he is Belgian. There is something desperately heart-breaking about this interpretation of Hercule Poirot. He’s not this energetic man, going about his detecting. Rather he’s a bit of a fallen angel and he’s sifting through the scraps of life. Being at the read-through sitting next to John it was magnificent to hear him lift Poirot off the page.

What is it like, to be on set with John Malkovich?

There is something ethereal about John. He’s a very intelligent man; a thinker and has a huge history of working in theatre and directing. He is a truly lovely man and going off the back of how it sounded in the read-through and on set I think we are probably in for a bit of a treat.

When people are casting, they think of Poirot as this iconic character, how did you feel when John Malkovich was cast?

When I heard that it was going to be John Malkovich obviously several thousand images flash through your head. The number is quite sizeable, be it Of Mice and Men or Les Liaisons Dangereuses and Burn After Reading, he was hilariously brilliant in that so you think ‘what is this guy going to be like?’ He lives in France and speaks French incredibly well but this is a Belgian accent and his is a very subtle delivery of it which is perfect. It’s a privilege to be working with him.

How does Franklin meet Poirot?

As the murders unfold and one is particularly close to home for Franklin, it becomes clear to Poirot that the killer is working his way through towns and names alphabetically. This young up-start Chief Inspector called Crome is handling the case and I don’t really feel like this guy is going about the investigation in the right way. Franklin has known Poirot for years from the mystery parties he used to attend and his distinctive reputation in solving crimes and mysteries. Crome is not asking the right questions or doing the right stuff and yet here is Poirot who is revered, so that’s why I approach him.

Who is Thora and what is Franklin’s relationship like with her?

Thora was brought into the house to work as staff, but is a girl who quite clearly wants to get ahead and has quite big ambitions in life. It feels like she will stop at nothing to get there, so she crosses a few boundaries with Carmichael.

Can you tell us about Franklin’s look?

Lindsay Pugh, the brilliant costume designer and who has done the 1930s before, has a very acute eye as to what is needed. I’ve played a plumber for about five years, very baggy jeans, quite a loose-fitting top so I said to her, "let’s just try and make some strides towards a suit, something that fits" and she started putting out tweed and as soon as I put it on I felt of the period and it helps you find the character. Also, I do like having the waves in my hair and it’s good to just introduce a flicker of something new.

How has it been working with Alex Gabassi the director?

Alex is not fazed by anything. He’s a man on top of his craft. It also seems like he knows what is contributing to the picture both as far as lighting, sound and other exterior stuff as well as acting. Every scene just looks like a masterpiece.

How would you briefly describe The ABC Murders?

In one word: Malkovich. Other than that: edgy, mysterious, dark, twisted.

Do you enjoy murder mystery as a genre yourself?

I like a show about serial killers or a good documentary about that stuff. I like stuff where you have to unpick details and try and guess who it is before everyone else.

Have there been any memorable moments that you will take away from this shoot?

I’d say yes, sitting in a rehearsal room not far from where I went to drama school, with John Malkovich.

As an actor, is going through all those elements of a personality satisfying to you?

Definitely: You want to include all shades, it is nice to see the difference between all the characters that you play. I think I always seem to play every man in a crisis, whereas Franklin Clarke is in a lovely house with a lovely family and it’s a very nice change for me.

How does the relationship with Poirot develop?

He approaches Poirot because he is a little bit miffed at how this young lad, Crome, is going about the case and he thinks he is leaving certain holes in the investigation and not going about it as thoroughly as he could. There is a friendship there between them and as Franklin goes to see him and enlists his help, from that there is a friendship. He admires Poirot a great deal as a lot of people do apart from this idiotic bunch of people who are hurling insults at him. Franklin knows that Poirot is the best of the best and he won’t stop until it's resolved.

ABC Murders begins Boxing Day, 9pm on BBCOne