#I was going to include this in an ask but the ask disappeared from my drafts somehow...

[doppel-doodles]

That illustration is making me want to slam my head against solid concrete, Art block said no, and I know when to pick my battles so fuck it we ball-

A normal post about Matthew Hallard from Poppy Playtime

I briefly mentioned this in the Jack post, the fact that I didn't think I had anything new or particularly interesting to say on Matthew as I always thought the Fandom had a lot of the bases covered.

But the more I actually thought about him, the more I wanted to talk about one thing in particular:

Let's talk about Doeys tape.

In game we find a vhs tape recorded by Doey, talking about how he almost ditched everyone in favor of running away, ultimately deciding to go back for them instead. It reveals a lot about how he truly feels about the responsibility that has been given to him.

I think it was so important to include this and the reason why is quite simple:

It humanises Matthew for me.

Why I point him out specifically is due to reasons I mentioned in my other analysis, Jack's control is mostly passive, Kevin only really comes to the forefront when he feels like there is a threat to assess or deal with and it has been confirmed that Matthew is the oldest of the children as well as having been a leader of sorts since he was still a human child, so in the tape it's basically him venting.

Which is great as it makes something crystal clear: He is not a perfect saint.

Matthew is a teenager who has been parentified from an incredibly young age, places immense pressure on himself, is suffering from more burnout than a college kid and not to mention the horror that is his current existence and life-

He doesn't WANT this responsibility, he only takes it on because nobody else will or can.

And nobody even thinks to ask him ONCE how HE is doing, no,no it's him who has to do that, he is not allowed to have breaks.

For godness sake he literally tells us in the tape that he is recording it because he feels like he can't talk to anyone about his problems!

The toys- The children having someone like Doey or more accurately Matthew is not a guarantee, it is a privilege but it's a privilege Matthew needs to!

And you rarely ever see kind characters COMPLAIN about having to be kind all the time, truly looking after everyone else drains you, it's exhausting to fulfill the needs of others, more often than not you'll have to put aside your own and when you really pull the shit end of the stick you get more complains then appreciation for your troubles.

It is such a CHORE and I think a character struggling with being so selfless actually can have such a massive impact instead of just being able to handle everything, it's that tiny bit of realism I love.

Despite how exhausted and miserable Matthew was over being stuck in this position in the end he turned back. Because he loves his friends that much, and he should get massive props for that.

And to think he still did so much but didn't think anything he did was good enough is just painful, like no honey you are enough, more than enough-

Also Poppy having once been the leader makes you think that maybe Matthew might have been hurt the most by her disappearing.

Like her leading was the closest thing to a break he ever got- and then she just up and disappears?? And it's all up to him now? Not to mention the concern? The worry??

Boy it speaks volumes that he doesn't seem to display more hostility towards her considering Poppy doesn't even EXPLAIN herself on why she left or why she couldn't come back.

He is even civil in discussing the fact that she demands for them to be okay with being blown up(also correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Poppy also include in her plan that SHE will get to live? If I heard that I would be flabbergasted.) But that's something I should discuss in another post.

For now that is everything I have about my boy, if you want to see what I have to say about other characters here is Kevin annnnnnd Jack, plus some extra stuff on Doey

[agirlsawalittlerose]

This is Me Trying

ModernAU!Aegon x OFC

Fresh out of rehab, Aegon Targaryen is looking for a way back into music when he meets Victoria, a talented but stubborn singer-songwriter who wants nothing to do with his family’s record label. Reluctantly thrown together, they form an unexpected creative partnership, finding common ground in music and shared struggles.

TW: Alcoholism, Addiction, Sexism, Anxiety, Panic attacks

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 7: Under Pressure

The guys at the pub hadn’t stopped teasing her.

The moment Vic walked through the door, she saw Rhys bow dramatically, and Sara quickly joined in the pantomime, starting a round of applause that soon included even the few clueless patrons sitting around in the early afternoon.

“Our illustrious songwriter has descended from Olympus to grace us with her presence!” Rhys announced sarcastically, while Vic rolled her eyes, a mix of smugness and irritation crossing her face at having her absence so publicly acknowledged.

Luckily, Tony quickly restored order, and Vic slipped into the back to change before starting her shift.

Later, she stood outside with Sara, smoking in front of the pub. The sun was already setting—too early for Vic’s liking. She hated winter, especially the oppressive darkness that crept in by four in the afternoon.

“…Of course I wouldn’t pick a Pitbull song, come on,” Vic said, pulling her coat tighter as Sara stared at her in mock disgust.

“So, you’d rather hear Pitbull ruin every song ever than have Freddie Mercury sing ‘I Know You Want Me?’” Sara asked, incredulous.

“Obviously! Queen’s songs are good enough to redeem Pitbull, but Freddie doesn’t deserve that trash,” Vic shot back, deadly serious.

“And what if you had to pick that and eat a spoonful of mayo?” Sara pressed, after a moment of thought.

“Like, straight out of the jar?” Vic asked, horrified. Sara nodded, barely holding back her laughter.

“No way, gross! Mayo’s one of those weird things—divine in small doses but…” Vic trailed off, noticing Sara choking on her cigarette smoke, eyes wide as she stared at something over Vic’s shoulder.

“Well, hello there, very blond mate. You alright?” Sara said suddenly.

Vic spun around, and of course, it was Aegon standing behind her, sunglasses on despite the near darkness.

“Good evening, ladies,” he greeted them with a small bow, as theatrical as ever.

“And what brings you here, Cinderella? It’s almost dark,” Vic shot back, raising an eyebrow as she gave him a once-over.

Aegon chuckled softly. “I know! Also I’m sure my odds of dying are about the same whether it’s day or night. But hey, if you want, you can go plead my case to the big boss.”

Sara glanced at Vic, puzzled, but Vic waved her off, pulling her coat tighter against the cold.

“This is Sara, by the way,” Vic said, gesturing to her friend.

“And very single,” Sara added, leaning around Vic to offer Aegon her hand. He shook it with a smug smile as Vic jabbed her elbow lightly into Sara’s side.

Vic tossed her hair and straightened up, grabbing Sara by the arm. “Thanks for stopping by. Break’s over though, we’re heading back in.”

But Aegon followed them. “Yeah, well, I need to talk to you,” he said.

“Of course you do,” Vic muttered as she stepped into the pub, followed by Aegon and Sara, who kept sneaking amused glances at him before turning to Vic and mouthing a silent “hot.”

Vic rolled her eyes and disappeared into the back room to hang up her coat. When she returned, Aegon was perched on one of the barstools in front of the taps.

Work was impending though and she had to turn her attention to the two middle-aged men in front of her, her indignation masked beneath a practiced, cordial smile in under two seconds.

While preparing two gin and tonics for the guys at the bar, Vic kept sneaking glances at Aegon. He was on his phone, swiping right repeatedly in a way she instantly recognized. Then, he fiddled with the plastic pumpkins Tony had placed near the register. Finally, he shot her another look, and she immediately turned away, feeling her cheeks heat up.

When she returned to the bar to cash out the two customers, she glanced at Aegon again. He was staring right at her, smiling.

“So, what do you want?” Vic asked, forcing herself to sound as annoyed as possible, trying to sell her too cool for you attitude.

“I’ve never tried a Cosmopolitan, but Sex and the City really made them look good…” he started, picking up a drink menu from the counter and flipping through it absentmindedly.

“Aegon…” Vic interrupted, exasperated, leaning on the bar with both hands.

He paused, set the menu down with a clink of his rings against the counter, and rested his chin on one hand. He wore the mischievous expression of a kid caught sneaking cookies.

“I might’ve done something really stupid,” he admitted, smiling sheepishly and scratching the back of his head like he was trying to comfort himself.

Vic arched an eyebrow. “Shocker.”

“I promised my dad I’d finish writing enough songs by the label’s Christmas party… and perform a single there,” he said, grimacing like he was bracing for a lecture.

She crossed her arms. “And?”

“And we have just started, we have only a couple of months and I haven’t written shit.”

There it was.

Vic exhaled sharply, resisting the urge to rub her temples. “So, what—you want to plagiarize Sum 41’s entire discography?”

Aegon frowned. “I can write, you know.”

She tilted her head. “Then why haven’t you?”

He hesitated. Not in the usual way—not like he was about to say something slick or self-deprecating.

"Listen, Aegon, I fully intend to help you—they're paying me for this," Vic began, rolling her eyes as she grabbed a cloth and started wiping up the beer that had spilled from the tap. "But you need to trust me a little more and... COMING!"

She cut herself off as Tony shouted her name from the back.

"We'll talk later," she said to Aegon, hurrying toward the door behind the counter.

******

Trusting Vic Dawson. Right. That way, she’d get all the credit for the album. In front of his father, in front of Aemond, who would never let him live it down, and then—Aegon didn’t even want to think about what he’d have to tell his own reflection every time he thought about his first album.

Written entirely by Vic Dawson.

A shiver ran down his neck as another thought hit him like a punch.

His father had said it to him, cold and merciless as a needle in his vein: his album—the one he had written by himself months ago, before rehab—wasn’t good.

His music wasn’t good.

He wasn’t good.

Otherwise, why would they have sent him to that damn institution, hoping to reprogram his brain?

Aegon suddenly found himself trapped between a rock and a hard place, both already spelling out his death sentence.

Caught between the need to show up at the Christmas party with a finished album and shove it in his father’s face—

And his distrust of that royalty-sucking leech, Vic Dawson.

“You playing here tonight?” asked a voice beside him.

It was an old man, obviously. A huge, red mountain of a man, just like his sweater—he was easily three times Aegon’s size. His face was worn, his voice ruined by who knows how many thousands of cigarettes. Aegon didn’t need long to confirm his suspicion, spotting a pack next to a half-full glass of whiskey.

“No, I’m just here for the drinks and the charming company,” Aegon joked, earning a rough, raspy laugh from the man.

“What’s your name?” the man asked once he’d settled back.

“Aegon.”

“What the fuck kind of name is Aegon?” the old man asked, sounding almost genuinely annoyed at having never heard it before.

The swear word made Aegon laugh. And maybe, just maybe, it helped him loosen up a little.

“Believe me, I have no clue. My family decided to ruin me from birth,” Aegon replied, avoiding the old man’s gaze—and any potential questions about his family.

He figured the old man had caught on.

The old man gave him a knowing look. “Ah. One of those.”

Aegon turned fully toward him, leaning his elbow against the bar. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Young. Think you’re washed up already. Can’t write, can’t play, can’t do whatever it is you used to do—so you come here, sit on that stool, and hope brooding will fix it.”

Aegon felt sudden anger at the assumption. “How do you even know I want to play?”

The old man laughed. “I’m the old one here, but you’re the idiot. I heard you talking with Victoria earlier about one of her musical contraptions.”

Aegon felt like a complete idiot. So busy trying to be defensive, he hadn’t considered that, of course, talking with the pub’s darling would draw attention.

Damn Victoria Dawson.

“Bold of you to assume I ever could do it,” he muttered.

The old man chuckled. “Oh, I don’t assume. I know.” He gestured at Aegon’s hands, drumming absentmindedly against the bar. “They don’t stop moving. Bet you do it in your sleep.”

Aegon looked down at his fingers, now still.

“…Doesn’t mean I’ve got anything worth playing.”

The man sighed, tapping a cigarette against the table but not lighting it. “You ever hear of Sonny Rollins?”

Aegon shook his head.

“Saxophonist. Big in the fifties. One day, he decides he ain’t good enough—just up and quits. Spends two years playing alone on a bridge, practicing, thinking. People thought he was mad.” He smirked. “Then he came back, better than ever.”

Aegon frowned. “So what—you think I should go sit on a bridge somewhere?”

The man chuckled. “Nah. Just saying—maybe you’re not done. Maybe you just think you are.”

Aegon said nothing.

The jukebox changed songs. Sara wiped down the counter. Somewhere in the back, Vic’s laugh rang out, quick and sharp before cutting off.

The man patted Aegon’s shoulder, then stood, collecting his things. “You’ll figure it out, lad.”

Aegon wanted to ask how—how the hell was he supposed to figure it out when every time he tried, he felt like he was standing at the edge of something vast and empty, waiting to fall?

But he didn’t.

Instead, he just watched as the man walked toward the door, pushing it open with a creak before stepping out into the cold.

Aegon exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face.

Then, almost unconsciously, he tapped his fingers against the bar again.

Okay, you know what? She may have won last time in the studio, but tomorrow, Aegon would bring all his ideas—even the dumbest ones—and Vic would be so impressed that she'd beg him to let her write for him. She'd beg to strip off her underwear and apologize for the terrible offense of ever doubting him.

"Anyway, as I was saying..." the bitch began, stepping closer to his stool—those damn perfect lips of hers making him angrier than all the world’s injustices combined, because the only thing they were good for was spouting judgments and sarcastic remarks.

"I have to go. See you in the studio tomorrow morning," he cut her off, already slipping on his coat—without even giving himself the pleasure of savoring the confused, surprised look on her face.

The next day Aegon walked into the studio feeling something close to confidence. Not the reckless, coke-fueled kind that had once convinced him he was untouchable—but a quieter, more fragile thing. A flickering candle instead of a neon sign.

He had ideas.

After last night’s conversation with the old man, he’d gone home and worked. Properly worked.

Jotted down progressions, hummed out melodies until his voice cracked, pieced together a shape of something that could maybe—if he was lucky—become a song.

So when Aemond had pointed out—again—that he was late, he hadn’t even bothered to answer.

Aemond and Vic were sitting on the sofa near the bass amp, caught in an animated discussion about something that would’ve been easy to make fun of under different circumstances, but Aegon wasn’t in the mood.

He pulled out his notebook and reached for his favorite Telecaster in the room, only to feel Vic’s gaze settle on him.

“I saw you talking to Arthur yesterday,” she said when it became clear he wasn’t going to waste time making small talk, fetching breakfast, or filling awkward silences with one of his jokes.

“Yeah, nice man,” he said shortly, almost annoyed that his babysitter was so damn attentive she apparently kept tabs on him even off duty. God forbid he had a casual conversation with an old man at a pub without it being filed away in her mental dossier for future use against him.

Somehow, the strategy worked—Vic let it go and resumed chatting with Aemond.

Aegon didn’t sit, didn’t get comfortable.

He just took a breath—hoping to shake off the gnawing feeling in his gut telling him she’d hate everything he came up with, just like others had dismissed him before.

Then, he started playing.

Nothing complicated, just chords at first, feeling out the skeleton of the thing. Then he added variations—a passing note here, a suspended chord there—until he found a voicing that felt right.

Victoria and Aemond finally shut up, but she said nothing.

He kept going.

He played through a verse, then a chorus. Tweaked the rhythm. Moved one chord down a step, then up again. Still nothing from her.

He glanced over his shoulder. Was she even listening?

She was.

She was watching him, her coffee cup halfway to her lips, expression unreadable.

Fine. Maybe she just needed to hear the full thing.

He played through the entire sequence again.

When he finished, the room went quiet.

Aegon turned to her, waiting. Expecting—what, exactly? A nod? A that’s good? Something?

But she just tilted her head slightly and said, “Keep going.”

That was it.

Not bad. Not good. Just keep going.

Was this what fucking maieutics was about? If so, Aegon hated it.

That might be the first time Helaena was wrong in her entire existence.

Aegon clenched his jaw and played the section again, this time adding more movement. Still, she only watched, eyes flicking between his hands and his face, like she was studying him rather than the music.

He finished again.

Nothing.

His frustration sharpened.

“Any notes, coach?” he asked, fully turning toward her.

She just blinked. “Not yet.”

That answer pissed him off more than if she’d just told him it was shit.

And as if that weren’t enough, Aemond had started furiously scribbling in his goddamn notebook, pausing only to watch Vic’s reactions and smirk to himself like he knew something Aegon didn’t.

Aegon exhaled sharply, ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, Vic. At least pretend you’ve got an opinion.”

“I do,” she said, finally setting down her cup. “I think you’re onto something.”

It should have made him feel better. It didn’t.

His stomach turned at her blatant indifference. He could see her fingers twitching, like she was dying to snatch the guitar out of his hands and do it better herself.

Not that Aegon was surprised. What was she, if not yet another person treating him like some washed-up fuckup who had to be handled carefully, already planning how to clean up whatever damage he’d inevitably cause?

“Great. Thanks. Really helpful.”

She gave him a look, like she could see straight through him. “You want a real note?”

He gestured for her to go ahead, leaning back against the wall.

Victoria unfolded her legs and stood, walking toward him.

“It’s the resolution,” she said, resting a hand on the edge of the guitar’s neck. “You’re playing the V chord like it’s a resolution, but it’s not. It’s an extension.”

He frowned.

“It wants to move somewhere,” she continued. Her hand brushed Aegon’s for a second, lightly resting on the neck of the guitar, then guided it two frets down before pulling away in an instant—like she’d just touched a burning pot. “It needs to go home. Right now, it’s just hanging there.”

Aegon played the new chord, listening. She was right. Of course she had the answer, that smug I-know-everything attitude.

He hated her. Aegon fucking hated her. Hated the way she talked about music like it was the easiest thing in the world, hated the way Aemond nodded along to every goddamn word she said. Hated that she was clearly just here to take half his royalties and all his credit. Hated that when she stood up, he caught a glimpse of the tattoo on her hip and his dick betrayed him by stirring at the worst possible moment.

Hated that she didn’t even have the balls to call him an idiot to his face. At least then he could react, get her thrown out like he had with all the other songwriters they’d forced on him.

So instead of acknowledging her point, he smirked.

"Wow, Vic, well done! I was just thinking—instead of giving you 50% of my royalties, why not, I don’t know, 80%? Maybe then you could afford to grow a pair and actually work on something of your own in front of someone younger than an eighty-year-old. What do you think?"

Vic didn’t say a word, but Aegon could count, one by one, every muscle in her face and shoulders tensing up instantly.

Her dark eyes were so full of rage he half-expected them to shoot laser beams at him.

Finally, a reaction.

In a sharp motion, she grabbed her jacket and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Aegon’s satisfied smirk died the second he heard her—despite the soundproof door—mutter, “Pathetic asshole.”

Aemond tried to stop him, but in the blink of an eye, Aegon had shrugged off his Telecaster and bolted after her.

“Say that to my face!” he shouted down the hall, completely unfazed by the receptionist smacking a hand over her face.

Yeah, Lizzie, Lisa or whatever the hell her name was—welcome to another episode of my show.

Vic didn’t even turn around. The elevator doors slid open in front of her.

“I have nothing to say to you,” she said, with the same infuriating calm that had been getting under Aegon’s skin all damn day.

He stepped in right behind her. When she pressed the button for the ground floor, he immediately pressed the one to hold the doors open.

She followed the motion of his hand with her eyes, her expression twisting into something almost scandalized.

"Are you seriously stopping me from leaving?" she asked, her voice calm, though her face said otherwise as she reached for the panel again.

Aegon was faster, blocking her.

"I’ll let you go when you apologise."

He could feel her breath, hot with anger, against his skin.

Not exactly how he’d pictured having her this close to his face.

Vic scoffed, but Aegon didn’t find a fucking thing funny.

"Sorry for calling you pathetic," she said, bold as ever. "I should've gone with nepo baby with a god complex and the audacity of a man twice as useless. Happy now?"

She shoved an arm between him and the wall, jabbing at the ground floor button again.

"Jesus, how old are you, twelve?" Aegon shot back, almost grateful that, for once, he wasn’t the one acting like the biggest child in the room.

That moment of distraction cost him.

The doors slid shut, and the elevator started moving.

Aegon, in retaliation, hit the opening doors button again.

And, of course, the elevator—caught between their opposing demands—screeched to a halt.

And with it, so did Aegon and Vic’s frantic bickering.

“Fucking perfect,” Aegon commented dryly, his eyes fixed on the panel as if he could will this damn tin box to work with just his gaze.

“So what now? You gonna climb out the hatch like a badass, or are we just gonna stand here?” he continued sarcastically. When he received no response from that infuriating bitch, he turned toward her.

Vic was motionless, staring at the elevator doors. She could’ve passed for a marble statue if not for the way her nostrils flared with each uneven breath.

“Vic?” Aegon tried.

Nothing. Just another sharp inhale through her nose.

Aegon straightened, suddenly unsure.

“Hey,” he attempted once more, stepping toward her, but she wouldn’t even meet his gaze.

He studied her for a moment—her fingers twitching and her throat working as if she were repeatedly swallowing to check if it still functioned.

It clicked.

“You’re claustrophobic?” he asked carefully.

“Shut up.” Tight. Barely above a whisper.

Well, that wasn’t a no.

He lifted a hand, intending to place it on her shoulder, then thought better of it.

“It’s fine. We’ll be out in a few minutes.” He kept his voice level, watching for any shift in her expression.

It was strange—seeing Vic Dawson like this. Afraid. For a second, he saw the same look she’d had the first time he ever laid eyes on her, when their gazes met from across the stage.

And he’d wondered for days how someone so sure of herself, so infuriatingly cocky, could’ve looked so vulnerable in that moment. He’d even convinced himself he imagined it—chalked it up to how damn good she’d sounded that night.

But no. That side of Vic was real. And now, he was watching it unfold in real-time.

Her breath stuttered. Her nails pressed into her palms.

“Breathe,” he said, voice low and steady. Then he regretted it. “Breathe”, groundbreaking, Aegon, good job.

Still, she didn’t look at him.

“You’re not gonna die in here.”

“Yeah, no shit,” she muttered, flat but strained.

Aegon stepped directly in front of her, pressing both hands against the base of her neck.

That got her attention.

Vic’s eyes snapped to his, and a tremor—so unlike her usual controlled self—passed through her.

“If you force your shoulders to relax, it tricks your brain into thinking it can, too,” he explained, applying gentle pressure, running his hands from her neck to her shoulders and back again.

Somehow—miraculously—she listened.

“You’re not having a heart attack, or a stroke, or an aneurysm, or any of the million other worst-case scenarios you’ve already played out in your head,” he went on, pulling from the same reassurances he told himself whenever panic started creeping in.

“And there’s no reason you’d conveniently drop dead in the ten minutes it’ll take the techs to fix this piece of shit.”

Vic let out a long, shaky breath, nodding stiffly.

It worked.

When her breathing evened out, Aegon pulled back, sinking onto the elevator floor and motioning for her to do the same.

A long pause. Vic exhaled again, slower this time, leaning against the wall. Aegon watched her—then, because humor is all he fucking had, tilted his head.

“Would’ve bet money I’d be the one losing my shit first.”

That earned a tiny, humorless huff. Aegon latched onto it, pushing forward.

“So what is it? Small spaces in general, or just the ones with me in them?”

Vic, still tense but dry, shot back, “Just you.”

Aegon grinned, easy now. “Knew it.”

She rolled her eyes, but her breathing steadied. Just a little.

Aegon watched her a second longer before leaning back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You know, for someone who acts like she has her shit together, you’re doing a great impression of a total mess right now.”

Vic scoffed, but there was no real bite to it.

Aegon smirked, but there was no real malice to it.

“You’re such an asshole, Aegon,” Vic muttered, letting her head fall back against the elevator wall.

Aegon chuckled. Old familiar words.

“Are you trying to do what you did with Aemond the other day? Mess with me until I quit?” she continued, voice edged with frustration. “Because, unfortunately for you, I’m not in a position to do that.”

“You were about to,” he replied—not accusing, just stating the obvious.

“Well, yeah. You’re not the only one who deserves the luxury of being impulsive,” Vic shot back.

She shifted slightly where she sat, the cold metal of the elevator floor probably seeping through her clothes by now. Still, she kept her spine straight, chin high, regaining her usual bravado. “And anyway, I don’t see what’s so wrong with wanting to get paid.”

“Oh, then you could’ve just signed with the label yourself instead of sticking your nose in my business,” Aegon snapped, frustration bleeding into his voice.

“And sell my music to that gremlin of a father you have?” Vic countered, voice rising, just as frustrated. But then, as if realizing she’d let something slip, she straightened her shoulders.

Poor thing. She had no idea who she was talking to.

“No offense,” she added, awkwardly.

“None taken,” he said smoothly, almost amused by Victoria Dawson’s sudden honesty.

“What I meant,” she pressed on, “is that it’s not worth the risk of watching my work get abandoned like—”

“Like they did with mine, you mean?” Aegon interrupted, a bitter smile playing on his lips.

But she didn’t look away. And there wasn’t a trace of pity in her eyes.

That surprised him.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said carefully, and Aegon could tell there was something she wasn’t saying—something he didn’t know.

Curiosity ate him alive.

“And what did you mean?”

She hesitated, then continued, “I’ve seen how they treat the artists they sign, Aegon. Trust me, if I had any other offer, from anyone else, that wasn’t exploitative or risky, I obviously would’ve signed for my own album.”

Aegon wasn’t satisfied with that answer, but before he could push, she went on.

“Some of us don’t have the privileges you had. We have to take different routes. Pay a shit-ton just to study. I need your royalties to pay for St. Louis. If I even pass…” Her voice lost some of its fire, that last part tinged with doubt.

Aegon blinked. Then scoffed, genuinely incredulous.

“Are you fucking serious, Vic? What the hell do you need a songwriting program for in that nest of lobotomized pseudo-intellectuals?”

“They take ten people a year,” she said simply. “It’d be a nice accomplishment, wouldn’t it?”

And just like that, Aegon got it.

Even Victoria Dawson needed someone to tell her she was good.

“Oh yeah, validation is such a wonderful thing, isn’t it?” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Imagine how great it must be when people respect you and your work so much that they just have to assign you watchdogs in every aspect of your life.”

Vic stared at him for a moment. And for once, no matter how hard Aegon searched for signs of the greedy, gold-digging opportunist he was certain she was, he found nothing.

“Look, I have no interest in babysitting you just for the hell of it,” she said. “I like writing music. And your song wasn’t bad at all, you know?”

“Then why didn’t you just say that?” Aegon shot back.

Vic let out an exasperated groan, pressing a hand to her forehead. “I was giving you space! The other day, you made me do everything, but I don’t think that’s exactly how co-writing is supposed to work.”

Co-writing.

Aegon turned the phrase over in his head, the satisfaction of being acknowledged as an equal, for the first time in who the fuck knew how long, warming him from the inside out. Sweet and rich—like he imagined a mother’s embrace might feel.

Not ready to deal with that particular revelation, he pushed on stubbornly. “That’s still not a great reason to only open your mouth when you’ve got a critique to give.”

“Well, I didn’t think you needed to hear you were good,” Vic muttered, looking away.

“Fucking hypocrite,” Aegon smirked.

She stared at him for a moment.

And then, suddenly, the elevator moved upwards and the doors opened.

[ursidanger]

Recent sketch of their body types + Whitney's fur markings

[heffrondriving]

Do you still like big time rush or has James ruined them for you?

i have absolutely no idea how long ago this was from but like. y'all what even is this offhand ask lmao ( ; ⚆ _ ⚆ )

but alright screw it, just to set the record straight: i loved Big Time Rush lots and lots, that much is obvious. the nick show itself was such an integral part of my childhood, and i absolutely have no regrets about rediscovering the band last 2020 and diving in headfirst right into the deep end *Hot Summer by Heffron Drive starts blasting out* of their music and inevitably joining the fandom. i'm especially forever thankful for all the interesting experiences and fun projects and amazing friends i've made along the way, so i'm sincerely always going to have a certain fondness for BTR in the deepest crevices of my vv heart and soul.....

although yes, certainly *that* whole situation and other such related unfortunate controversies had kinda soured it to the point where i got uncomfortable calling myself a rusher—but that ultimately wasn't what made me fall out, it was just plain 'ol ✨burnout✨ idk keeping up with the fandom just got a little bit too hectic and way too toxic for me, so i moved on to other things better for my peace of mind. anyway, i'm mostly into cool J-pop stuff and ofc my most beloved svensk pojkband FO&O nowadays (also for language-learning purposes hehe :^D) and tbh these have been so incredibly wonderful and healing for me.....but i confess, i still kinda miss BTR and check in on them from time to time. hell, i even have a whooole bunch of chaotic BTR ocs that casually live rent-free in my mind now and forever and i'm constantly tempted to return to this rotting blog just so I can endlessly infodump lore abt them but i'm Annoying™ and who'd want that anyway soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so yes, i do love Big Time Rush. despite everything, i still like the show and the music, i like all the silly wacky unhinged creations and nostalgic memories i have of it, i like the fandom generally and seeing notifs still pop up on this inactive blog as the ever-faithful rushers continue to thrive and be inspired by the band and its legacy (shoutout to all the new-wave tumblrushers hehe i see u guys much love and hugs and i hope y'all keep up all the fun vibes and creativity here mwah xoxo (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡), and i really don't wanna allow anything to ruin all those good feelings i got from them, even if that means being critical and letting go of certain aspects. i don't have to love everything about it, really. just enough for me is hopefully enough ❤️‍🩹

and now, the musical journey continues...?

(p.s. #1: UNRELATED-ISH GIF BUT ALSO I PROMISE THIS GIF IS RELEVANT BC HE'S TECHNICALLY ONE OF MY BTR OCS SO LIKE THAT COUNTS RIGHT??? (⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠˙̫̮⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠))

(p.s. #2: BTR actually dropped by our country in their world tour last October 2024,,, too little, too late :"))) and apparently there was a whole fucking drama that went down abt it too??? anubayan nakakahiya gagi ahshdjsjdk)

[spasikonik]

an edek themed collage 🪲

[suspendingtime]

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[lulu2992]

Thank you, Tumblr, for rectifying my follower count last month and finally removing all those “ghost bots” from October 2019 ♥

The few of you whose names are hidden in the list aren’t included in the displayed number anymore either, unfortunately, but at least I know who you are and that you’re real :)

[yukinyaminyato]

next time that guy smiles at me im gonna punch him in the face.

[furiousfinnstan]

URGENT!!!Help Abdul Salam Al-Anqar and his family get through this war in Gaza!!!

(URGENT) THEY ARE AT €3,445 OUT OF €50,000 GOAL

I was asked by @nader5555 to make this, if u cannot donate please please share this post. Copy pasted from a message i was sent:

"Only a Few Hours Left Before We Enter Our First Year of War, Genocide, Starvation, and Displacement A Final Plea from the Heart of Hell: Save Us Before Hope Dies 💔🔥 I am Abdel Salam, and I have nothing left but words written by a trembling hand ✍️. The war has not only destroyed our lives; it has taken everything from us. Our home, which was once our refuge, is now a pile of rubble 🏚️.

My car, my only source of livelihood, was destroyed in a sudden strike 🚗, and the work that sustained us is now a distant memory 💼. Today, I live in an endless nightmare. Under a sun that burns everything in its path 🌞🔥, my family and I sit in a worn-out tent, a tent that shields us neither from the summer heat nor the winter cold ❄️. Insects 🦟 invade the place, diseases consume our bodies 🩺, and my younger siblings cry from hunger and thirst 🍞💧. We have no clean water or a crumb of bread to ease our hunger. Each passing day deepens the weight of this hell we live in.

My Daughter Eman is Dying from Malnutrition 😨 My daughter Eman suffers from malnutrition; I have nothing to feed or treat her with. The deterioration of her health is killing me slowly. Every glance in her eyes, every pain she endures, crushes my heart 💔. How can I explain to her that what was once our hope has now turned into nothing but a mirage? The Night Only Adds to Our Pain 🌙 The night does not bring us rest; it only adds to our pain. We sleep on hard ground, feeling the cold in every bone of our bodies 🥶, with nothing but pieces of cardboard 📦 to cover us. My wife Aya cries in silence 🥺 as she watches our daughter’s future fade before her eyes. My mother Eman suffers from illness and needs urgent medical care 🩺💊.

My Father Ahmed is Sick with Cancer and Needs Emergency Treatment My father Ahmed, who is sick with cancer, needs emergency treatment outside Gaza, and the cost of his treatment is at least $10,000, not including accommodation. As he suffers from severe pain, I cannot provide the treatment he needs due to our dire situation.

My Siblings Are in Constant Suffering ⚰️ My brother Omar was unable to continue his studies due to the situation. My brother Nader could not take his high school exams, and my younger brother Mohammad suffers from brittle bones and needs treatment we cannot afford. Every day we live brings us one step closer to the end. Death surrounds us from every side: if not from hunger 🍽️, then from illness 🦠. And if not from illness, then from the despair that devours our souls. Where is Humanity? Where is the World? 🌍💔 We want to leave the devastated Gaza Strip to escape the machinery of destruction and killing and the severity of hunger and poverty. The cost of travel for each person is $5,000, and we are a family of seven members, bringing the total cost to $35,000.

Where are the compassionate hearts? Are you waiting for us to disappear into the depths of this suffering? Are you waiting until death takes us before you act? We are drowning, and we don’t have enough strength to scream for help 🆘. Will you let this cry go unanswered? 😭 Your donation today is our last thread of hope. With the little support I received, I was able to buy a simple phone 📱 to reach out to you. But the bitter truth is that what I and my family need is much greater. We are not asking for much; just enough to save our lives from this hell 🔥. Every donation, no matter how small, could be the difference between life and death for us 👐. Don’t Let Us Disappear in the Darkness of Suffering 🌑 Don’t let our story end here. Be the light that guides us to salvation 🕯️✨.

With every tear, with every pain, I write this final plea to you, Abdel Salam."

taglist

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@biconicfinn @stopmotionguy

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@schoolteacher

[cursingtoji]

the cardio machine i want is on the cardio machine

cw: gym rat toji x loser!gf - size kink, sweat kink (?), toji is a big old meanie. loser!gf series: geto gojo nanami.

loser!reader who, like a million other sedentary people on new year’s eve, said “new year new me” and proceeded to enroll at the local gym.

gym rat!toji who knew how things are in the beginning of the year, so the first week he arrives one hour earlier than usual to avoid all the lazy fucks that won’t last two months.

of course he makes a few mental bets on the ones that would quit and how long it would take, you included.

it’s easy to spot the “i don’t want lift weights cause i don’t want look jacked” type of girl.

at the breaks between one set and the other he looked around, not surprised to see you slowing down the treadmill after running not even two whole minutes.

sometimes he caught you staring at him through the mirror, not an uncommon occurrence amonst the women there, though you surprised him one day by tapping his shoulder after he finishing his weighted squats.

“can you… give me a few tips?” he looked so intimidated, from up close his shoulders looked like a wall, he stared at you from above, dark green eyes seemed to be heavily judging you, “never mind this was a bad idea, sorry” you turned around, grabbing you bottle and running off the gym.

by the time you managed to gather the courage to show your face back there two whole weeks had passed.

“consistency is the key you know” you were distracted looking down your phone while slowly walking the treadmill when the handsome man appeared beside you, the sudden presence destabilized you.

before you could become the viral video of the week when inevitably a gym employee decides to post the security footage of your ass rolling off the active treadmill, toji wrapped one big arm around your waist and pulled you to the stable floor.

“you caught me off guard the other day” he said completely unfazed by saving you from a life of embarrassment, “then you disappeared.”

“yeah i didn’t know if i wanted to come back anyways, i haven’t see any results so far” you pulled the hem of your shirt down.

toji snorted, “‘course you ain’t seeing results, sweetheart, you don’t lift.”

“well, it’s hard…” toji rolled his eyes, there was always an excuse.

though he also did a new year’s resolution of being more patient, for his kids primarily but teaching a cute thing like you could be a good exercise too.

soon enough, toji was correcting your form, texting you asking why you haven’t showed up to the gym and ringing your bell incessantly when you complained about muscle pain and said you wouldn't go that day.

“it’ll feel better once you start to move” he explained, resting on your door frame when you opened the door on your pajamas.

“let me alone, just today” you whined.

“you asked for my help now go put on something without cartoons on it” he waited for you to turn around and slapped your butt. it had been only one week he was coaching you but there was already a weird intimacy due to the fact he was pretty much always looking at your body and touching you.

to correct your form. obviously.

"what do i have to do today, coach fushiguro?" you asked from your bedroom through an ajar door which allowed toji to get a peek at your pink underwear and cute ass.

"cardio, bicycle first. get some blood flowing on those sore muscles" he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows watching you bend over to grab a biker shorts at the lowest drawer then holding back a laughter at the grunt of pain coming from you.

"once it gets better i can teach you other types of cardio" he walked around your kitchen examining your cabinets and stuff you kept in your fridge. needless to say it was all junk.

"can't wait" you replied sarcastically, failing to understand the meaning.

it took a few more days till you got used to toji's training, then he decided to focus on your upper body.

"such a simple movement, how do you manage to get that wrong?" he raised from the bench he was sitting behind you watching your form through the mirror. you almost dropped the weights at your feet when he came close. it was almost scary how much bigger than you he was especially seeing it throght the mirror. his right hand wrapped around yours on the dumbell and his bicep touched your arm as he pushed your arm closer to your body, "tuck your elbows in, straight your back" his free hand pushed your shoulders till they were touching his chest.

how come he smelled so good, so... musky and...

"are you even making any force?" he lowered his head, his reflection looking annoyed. so you decided to ignore the sudden heat between your thighs and flex your arm the way he taught you.

and just like he promised, when you were consistent enough and handling a good 5 minute run he decided to show you a more pleasing cardio.

"toji please~" you whined, thighs burning from riding him, you were using his rock hard abdomen as a support, but still.

"one more minute, come on" he looked at the watch on his wrist and slapped your ass, "haven't i prep-ed you good enough?" his thumb rubbed your bottom lip then pushed in meeting your tongue, where you tasted yourself in his digits one hour after he ringed your bell and said he was going to reward your good discipline, but he had to strech you first.

"good girl" you felt his abdomn flex when he raised from his laying position on your bed, "now leave it to daddy" he pecked your lips and quickly changed positions, putting a pillow under your ass and rolling his neck to start his cardio of the day.

[esleep]

i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).

shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.

i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.

when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.

anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡

Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.

♡ table of contents:

1. the importance of making this post

2.my take on manifestation + the 3D

3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 

4. your new rules & routine from this moment on

5. a note from me!

6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.

now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST

i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.

my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.

𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D

something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.

remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.

you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,

you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.

you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!

“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.

read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?

“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)

PHASE 1:

i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.

PHASE 2:

upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,

so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.

during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”

i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!

and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that

YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

PHASE 3:

when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:

once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)

it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.

this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.

informational post on the 4D + 3D here:

❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞

i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.

persistence has helped me:

be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)

flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.

(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)

AND THEN, PHASE 4:

i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.

then, i received my desires.

❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞

❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞

𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE

☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:

1, you have all your desires:

i have all of my desires.

creation is finished. it is done.

2. you manifest quickly and easily:

manifesting is always so easy and instant for me.

i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.

the 3D instantly reflect my 4D.

the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality.

3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable:

everything is going to be okay because creation is done.

i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.

no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.

✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.

☆┆ROUTINE:

affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,

in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.

read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!

at night, before you sleep, affirm this:

“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”

optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.

✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!

let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!

do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.

in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.

REASSURANCE VAUNT

creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?

SOMETHING TO NOTE:

most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?

again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.

QUOTES on STATES:

❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞

❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞

𝐕. ENDING NOTE

i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.

it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!

i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.

now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.

— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)

𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.

I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.

SPEND TIME ALONE.

i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.

SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.

What did you affirm to get your dream life?

basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.

What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?

“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()

+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!

“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”

“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).

“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.

i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.

but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”

What is saturating your mind?

read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)

Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?

no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.

Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?

just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed

How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?

remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.

How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?

i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞

What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?

about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.

How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?

refer back to phase 3

What was your affirming routine?

AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞

❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.

2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED

3.) BE LOT.❞

and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.

i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)

What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?

stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.

How did you not react to the 3D?

i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.

But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”

you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.

Did you script how your life would be?

no.

(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)

[shomatoriashi]

01/12/25; 11:20am

{ 18+ drabbles / headcanons }

{ come ride on me - i mean, camaraderie! | said you’re not in my time zone but you wanna be | where art thou? why not upon-eth me? | see it my mind, let’s fulfill the prophecy! }

featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel, caleb

notes: more thirsty, bite-sized thoughts as i try to get used to including caleb in all of my 18+ / sfw headcanons post from now on 🙂‍↕️

[ minors don’t interact; by choosing to interact with this content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings. ]

sylus crawls toward you as you lay back in bed, running a hand down the expanse of your legs while admiring your body wrapped in such pretty lace. tonight, his eyes couldn't seem to get enough of you, watching as your breasts and aching center were hidden beneath the sensual fabric.

"all of this for me?" sylus asks you in a purr, fingertips tracing the outline of your undergarments while shaking slightly, "you shouldn't have, kitten."

a playful smile spreads across your lips, giving sylus a come hither motion with your hand. a low growl was heard coming from the onychinus leader when he spreads your legs apart for him. moving your panties to the side, he dips a thick finger into your heat, pumping that single digit in and out of your core while watching you claw at the sheets below you in desperation. your smile disappears while forming the perfect o, your back arching against the bed the moment his fingers made a scissoring motion inside of you.

"hn, you always feel so good around me, little dove. but nothing can beat the way you feel around my cock." he removes his fingers from your slick folds then, shoving down his boxers as he quickly sheathes himself inside of you with one swift thrust. he keeps you in the pretty lace that decorates your form, feeling his cock go harder at the sight as he had every intention of ruining your favorite set.

you tremble, feeling the way zayne gives you a series of kisses down the entirety of your form.

knowing that he had the patience of a saint, even when you were writhing against the bed, practically aching for him each time his featherlight kisses were felt caressing at your skin-

zayne did not cease his simple act of worshipping you.

your breathing turns labored when your lover heavy form descends upon you, pressing kisses around your heaving breasts. he feels the hardened bud of your nipples against his lips and gently puts it in his hot mouth, the sensation of the tip of his tongue flicking at your nipple makes you cry out in response. hands already delving into his hair, you felt your back arch against the bed, giving him better access to your sensitive skin.

distracted by his hot kisses, you were barely aware of how zayne slowly spread your legs from beneath him, angling his body ever so slightly so that the tip of his cock was felt tracing at your folds. it wasn't until you felt him slowly beginning to impale you that your breathy gasps quickly morphed into a series of broken moans.

the ache between your legs quickly began to be relieved by the sensation of his cock filling you up, your legs already greedily wrapping around his waist as you trapped him to you, basking in the way his cock kept pumping in and out of your slick heat.

you woke up the moment xavier pulls you towards his chest, pressing a lingering kiss against the back of your neck as he shifts his body slightly. you murmur a sleepy good morning-

and let out a gasp when you felt his cock steadily poking at your backside. your breathing comes out as labored, somehow knowing what xavier needed wanted when you slowly pull down your panties. his breathing hitches, and you felt the way his hands travel downwards to cup at your center, collecting the moisture while letting out a soft groan of your name.

hiding his face within your shoulder, he lets out a soft sigh, removing his fingertips from your slick folds before expertly angling his cock behind you, slowly entering your slick heat. your hands grip at the sheets below you, letting out a sigh of relief the moment xavier was fully sheathed inside of you.

with your face pressed against the pillow, you felt xavier languidly thrust his cock in and out of your core, basking in his lovemaking while bathed beneath the morning sunlight.

rafayel had a deep obsession when it came to you-

and there was no way in hell he'd ever let you know about it.

since everything he did-

every interaction you had with him-

lead to this exact moment.

now that he had you exactly where he wanted you (on his bed while writhing beneath him)-

he was not going to go easy on you, the need to claim you as belonging to him reaching new heights when he settles himself between your thighs. how many hours had past was lost on him, his tongue tasting your release for what had to be the umpteenth time.

the young lemurian indulges himself on you, subjecting your cunt to different angles and positions as he allows his slender fingertips to travel deep inside of you, drawing out as much of your honeyed arousal that he could manage. he devours your sweetness like a man starved, unable to get enough of you as you were left crying from the growing intensities of your release.

"rafe, please, i-i can't take it anymore...! i need you so badly…”

the neediness of your voice causes a shudder to run down rafayel's spine, with him finally removing himself from between your legs. his lips were still shiny with the evidence of your release, and he saw the embarrassed expression on your face-

"so cute." rafayel purrs at you, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. you moan when you were able to taste yourself on the tip of his tongue, fully opening up to him when you gasped the moment he slides his cock into you-

setting a breakneck pace that had you writhing against him, making rafayel's love and obsession grow even further for you.

you had no idea how you got into this position. one moment you were simply cuddled up in bed with caleb, basking in his sweet kisses before feeling him delve his tongue within your awaiting mouth-

and the next, you were naked for him, with caleb putting you in a mating press as he fucked you into the bed. beads of sweat ran down his skin, with his dog tag necklace bouncing against him, in tune with his every movement.

never had you felt caleb filling you so deeply before, making your mind go hazy as you lost all train of thoughts. words failed you, and the only thing you could think of was his name. your voice was thick with pleasure when you cried out to him over and over again, feeling a thin trail of saliva travel down the side of your lips as caleb kept pounding his cock into you.

his expression, still dark with pleasure, softens just the tiniest bit at the sight of you completely ruined for him. as he presses himself even deeper inside of your pulsating walls, he makes a show of kissing each of your ankles that were hoisted up against his broad shoulders. the sight of something so sinful makes your walls clench around him, earning a grunt from your lover when he tells you,

"you're so cute, baby. i'll never get enough of you."

end notes: hehehe and with this update, it'll make my 80th story that i've posted on this blog (⺣◡⺣)♡ i'm so proud of this blog, and for writing for all of you readers who have given my stories a chance to begin with 🥹 thank you again for following me, and i hope you readers stick around for a million more daydreams to come!

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

[dollishmehrayan]

BATBOYS TOXIC TRAITS / RED FLAGS + GREEN FLAGS ── .✦

a/n: the thing is, they all aren’t like problematic when it comes to relationships but they do have some things and flaws which when heard sound “oh okay that’s fine” but may be like super annoying in a irl relationship also this was a request by anon (here)! (Tags: batboys x reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

RED FLAGS:

Chronic People-Pleaser: Will prioritize everyone’s needs over his own (or yours), leading to burnout… and you having to remind him you exist.

Flirty by Nature: He’s not trying to flirt… it just happens. That waitress? Nope, not on purpose, but yeah, you’ll roll your eyes a lot.

Hero Complex: He always has to “save” people, including you, even when you’re perfectly fine handling it yourself. “I got it, babe.” No, you don’t, Dick.

GREEN FLAGS:

Emotionally Intelligent: He can read your mood like a book and knows exactly how to make you smile (with pancakes shaped like hearts).

Physical Affection Expert: Hugs, cuddles, forehead kisses—you’re basically his personal teddy bear.

Supportive King: He’s your biggest cheerleader, hyping you up in the most genuine, heartfelt ways. “That’s my girl.”

JASON TODD ── .✦

RED FLAGS:

Anger Issues: He’ll throw hands for you at the slightest provocation. Guy looks at you wrong? Jason’s already removing his jacket.

Emotionally Guarded: Good luck getting him to open up. He’s more likely to tell you his deepest fears after you’ve fallen asleep.

Reckless Behavior: He’ll drag you into the most insane situations and act like it’s no big deal. “What do you mean this is dangerous? It’s fine.”

GREEN FLAGS:

Loyal to a Fault: He’ll defend you with his life, no questions asked. “You mess with her, you mess with me.”

Soft Romantic: Beneath the tough exterior, he’s writing you sweet notes and remembering the little things, like how you take your coffee.

Protective (in a good way): He won’t smother you, but he’ll make sure you always feel safe, even if it’s just crossing the street.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

RED FLAGS:

Workaholic: He’ll forget to eat, sleep, and sometimes text you back because “the case was just getting good!”

Overthinks Everything: Spends hours analyzing your last text to figure out if you were mad or just tired. “Was that period passive-aggressive?”

Terrible Self-Care: You’ll have to force him to drink water and go to bed like a mom with a rebellious child.

GREEN FLAGS:

Incredibly Thoughtful: He remembers every detail about you, from your favorite flower to that obscure hobby you mentioned once.

Adorably Awkward: His shy smiles and fumbling over words when you flirt back are endlessly endearing.

Problem Solver: He’ll find solutions to all your problems, from fixing your computer to making your bad day better with tea and soft music.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

RED FLAGS:

Insanely Jealous: He glares daggers at anyone who looks at you too long. “Why is he breathing near you?”

Judgmental: He might critique your taste in music, books, or anything else with his usual bluntness. “This… is what you listen to?”

Control Freak: He likes things done a certain way and will try to “help” you by micromanaging your life.

GREEN FLAGS:

Devoted Partner: Once he’s in, he’s all in. You’ll never doubt his commitment because he’s always showing up for you.

Loyal Beyond Measure: He’ll defend your honor to anyone, even Bruce. “She’s perfect, Father. You simply lack taste.”

Surprisingly Gentle: Despite his tough exterior, he has a soft side that only you get to see, like the way he pets animals—or you—so tenderly.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

RED FLAGS:

Emotionally Repressed: He’s basically a human brick wall when it comes to expressing his feelings. “I’m… fine.” No, Bruce, you’re not.

Work Comes First: He’ll disappear into the Batcave for days unless you drag him out by the cape which becomes quickly annoying.

Overprotective: He’ll want to track your every move, not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he worries too much. “It’s for your safety.”

GREEN FLAGS:

Quietly Romantic: He may not be overly expressive, but he’ll show love through subtle gestures—like a bouquet of your favorite flowers left on the table.

Ultimate Provider: He makes sure you never want for anything, whether it’s emotional support or physical comfort.

Unshakable Devotion: Once you’ve captured his heart, he’s yours forever. There’s no halfway with Bruce—he’s in it for the long haul.

[teapartyprincess4two]

On Stream- M. Sturniolo

pairing: gf!reader x bf!Matt

classification: fluff

warnings: use of y/n, short, slight cursing, some suggestive comments

summary: Matt mentions you on stream, causing the chat to go crazy.

—

Nowadays it seems that Matt and Chris have an abnormal amount of free time.

The pair have spent the past few days running errands, catching up on chores, spending quality time together, and unwinding. But two energetic young men can only do so much relaxing before it becomes unbearably boring, especially without you and Nick around.

Nick’s somewhere across the globe, relishing in the perks of having good friends. He’s experiencing the world with a sense of individuality, having been apart from his triplet brothers for over a week.

Without Nick around the house is quiet and boring enough, but Chris and Matt can usually count on you to keep them company. But it seems that they see you less and less every day.

You aren’t somewhere far away, not physically at least, you’re just very, very busy. As you enter the fall semester, you’re juggling a multitude of responsibilities including school, work, your social life, and your relationship. But as you adjust to your crazy hectic schedule, you spend less time at home with Matt and more time nose deep in a book.

So, just as the brothers grow accustomed to the eerie silence that haunts the halls of their home and the boredom that settles into their everyday lives, they decide enough is enough and take up a new hobby. Streaming.

Today, as Matt anchors himself in his rolling chair, his eyes skim through the endless chats that flood his screen. Chris sits next to him, a vibrant and excited smile adorning his features.

This is their third consecutive day going live on Twitch. At first they went live to entertain and chat with their fans, but now they’re doing it to occupy their bored minds.

Chris’s eyes skim the chat, fixating on one message in particular. He subconsciously reads it aloud, “Is Y/n on tour with Nick? We miss her.”

After reading the comment, the chat was flooded with similar messages asking for you. Matt slumps into his chair, the mention of your name reminding him that it’s been a week since he’s seen you.

“Nah, she’s just busy with school right now,” Chris replies mindlessly, skimming for another comment to read.

A lot of the viewers noticed Matt’s mood shift. They noticed the way his eyes drooped and the way the corners of his mouth turned into a frown. They especially noticed the disassociated look he wore, mind traveling to a place only you could bring him out of.

“Matt,” Chris says, waving a hand in front of his brother’s face. No response. “Matt!” He tries again, louder this time. Matt still doesn’t respond, only coming back into reality when Chris violently shakes his shoulders.

“What, dude? What?!” Matt asks, annoyance evident in his tone.

“Your phone’s ringing.” Chris replies with an eye roll and a small scoff.

Suddenly the blaring ring registers in Matt’s mind as he pats his pockets in search of his phone. When he finally finds it, your name illuminated the screen.

“Who’s calling?” Chris asks, stretching out his neck in hopes of catching a nosy glimpse at the caller ID.

“Umm be right back chat. Y/n’s calling,” Matt says, words spewing out a mile a minute. He disappears from the room faster than ever, immediately pressing the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby.” Your voice is music to Matt’s ears. It feels like forever since he’s last heard it.

“Hey,” he murmurs, “everything okay?”

You hum in response, followed by a soft yawn.

“You sound tired. When are you coming home?” Matt asks, softly leaning against the wall. You’ve been at school all day stuck in lectures and studying, so Matt knows you need some well deserved rest.

“I’m on my way now. That’s why I called, wanted to see if you guys were hungry so I could pick up something to eat.”

The excitement that courses through Matt’s veins is unreal, winding him up with enough energy to last until tomorrow. He can’t wait to see you, hold you, kiss you, and make up for all the lost time.

“Whatever you want, baby,” he replies, pausing for a second to compose himself, “I just wanna see you.”

A warm smile graces your features and if Matt could see it he’d mirror your expression.

“I’ll be home soon don’t worry. How’s the stream going?”

“Huh?” For a second Matt forgot that he and his brother were live streaming for thousands of people.

“The stream. Aren’t you live with Chris right now?”

“Ohhh. It’s going… it’s going good.” Matt replies with a soft sigh.

Your smile is momentarily replaced with a frown. “It doesn’t sound like it’s going good. What’s wrong?”

Matt’s fingers pinch the bridge of his nose before gliding across his eyelids and massaging the tense nerves and muscles on his face. “It’s going fine. I just can’t focus. The chat keeps asking about you and it’s honestly making me really sad.”

A small chuckle escapes your lips. “Aww my poor baby. Can’t focus on Fortnite?”

“Not Fortnite.”

“Oops, sorry. Fall Guys?

“Y/n.” Matt warns, though he finds it slightly funny too.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. I’ll be home soon with some good food and open arms. We can cuddle and watch a movie, or do anything else you wanna do. Okay?”

Matt feels his spirit lighten up again, a cheeky smirk forming on his face. “Anything?”

“Don’t push it,” you laugh.

Just as Matt’s about to respond, he’s cut short by Chris calling his name from inside the room.

“Get back to your stream. I’ll be home soon, handsome.”

Matt’s lips form a silly pout you can’t even see as he replies, “But I wanna keep talking to you. Miss you so much.”

“MATT!” Chris calls again, this time much louder than the last.

“We’ll talk all you want when I get home. Now go! I have the stream pulled up on my computer and I think Chris is gonna start twerking,” you say, trying your best not to laugh.

“Holy fuck this kid,” Matt groans, face palming. “Alright baby, I love you. Drive safe.”

“I love you too,” you say through small giggles before hanging up.

When Matt renters the room, he’s not surprised to find Chris dancing for the camera. He pushes past him and settles back into his rolling chair wearing a huge, toothy smile.

“What did Y/n want?” Chris asks, briefly glancing at Matt as he switches from doing the griddy to shuffling across the room.

“Just asked if we were hungry,” Matt shrugs, attempting to act nonchalant, but there’s no hiding the newfound pep in his step.

“And it took you that long?”

“I was catching up with my girl. —Why the fuck are you still dancing?”

“Someone gifted,” Chris says, slightly breathless as he bops from corner to corner.

“Alright…” Matt shifts towards the computer, “What did I miss?”

He reads comments, expecting most of them to be about Chris and his absurd dancing skills, but he’s surprised to find that they’re all about you.

Some fans ask where you are, others ask what you’re doing, some speculate on the conversation you and Matt had, and others simply comment on how much happier Matt seems since talking to you.

All Matt can do is smile and patiently wait for you to arrive, ready to bombard you with kisses as soon as you step through the door.

—

MASTERLIST

a/n: hi babies! Hope you enjoy this short oneshot! I know I haven’t updated or posted much in a longggg time but I honestly had writers block :P I’m trying to get into the habit of writing again, so bear with me pls. I have a lotttt of drafts (some that just need to be edited) so be expecting that soon! Luv you all 😚

- L.A.M.B🪽💝

—

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