#I was going to do more but then the Fearne/Ashton bit got sooo long

[hello-eeveev]

Fearne and Chetney are weirdos and besties and I love them Do Not Separate. They should do something about whatever it is they’ve got going on, but I don’t see them becoming romantic? Like, this game of chicken is going to end with the fade to black and then it‘ll just start again! Which is exactly what I want! I love their weird, hornt up flirting, gimme more! They are neither romantic nor exclusive, but they are a Thing and that’s just a fact. They will go after the same woman and not stop teasing and flirting with each other the whole time. Iconic.

I also ship Fearne and Ashton! I ship it a lot, but not romantically. I’ve mentioned before that I think I might headcanon pretty much all of the bell’s hells as on the aromantic spectrum, but my headcanon of aromantic Ashton was the first and most concrete. Like you can’t just say, “Sometimes it is very easy to misconstrue friendship for love, lust for love, it's very amorphous. I have a hard time defining it to begin with, and there's only really a couple situations where it might've even applied” and not have me go “👀 🖤🤍💚???”

Defining the nature of how I imagine their relationship is weird. Like if I were to label it as a QPR, the platonic bit is much more fuzzy compared to say, Orym and Fearne, who are a Pair, but a strictly platonic one. But their relationship would also be less physical than Fearne/Chetney, for example. Partly because of Ashton’s general touch-aversion, but also partly by choice, I would think.

What’s most compelling about them to me is the way Fearne—whose upbringing in the Feywild has given her a love of things that are weird and dark and off-putting—looks at Ashton—who on some level considers themself fundamentally broken/damaged and who has a deeply cynical view of people and the world—as someone lovely and beautiful and interesting, and Ashton delights in Fearne’s weirdness. The aspects of themselves that often frighten others do not scare each other.

Fearne is not beholden to the attitude of “well this is just how things are” because, well, that’s not true when you live in the Feywild for 100+ years. On the other side of this coin, you have Ashton who actively rejects this attitude because he has seen firsthand how the status quo doesn’t serve anyone except for those in power and how it especially harms those who do not have any. So there is this sort of unprecedented tenderness that Fearne can give to Ashton because she just cares about them, and that’s kind of the beginning and the end of it, and there is a freedom from rules and expectations that Ashton can give to Fearne. They’re walking along these neighboring philosophical roads, where Fearne’s like “lol rules? what are those?” and Ashton’s like “fuck the rules because the rules fucked me.” And this is a lot of deep thinking about who they are as people without mentioning that the way they even became friends was a friendly game of stealing from each other! Fascinating chaos duo 10/10

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 51

The ep title is The Apogee Solstice ... it's here, it's official, no more build up ...

Eight years of this shit and NOW Matt is starting to break down from sheer wear ... TBH we know how he feels.

Another truly awful and thoroughly annoying advert from Sam ... "Are these testimonials completely fabricated? YES!!!" Oof ... and Sam starts to break down too before the end, just like always. And Matt does a necessary disclaimer ... as he should after ANYTHING Sam says.

Oh my GODS Laura you sound SOOOO bad, sweety! Get you some hot lemon and honey pronto! Good thing Liam's here with a suspect Jester impression.

"So, last we left off ... Sam found a bunch oh hands ..." XD

Yes! Beau and Caleb are here! Zoinks!

Oh, so we're on the ship first ... okay ... and Sam is NOT ready ... Travis: "You've had a whole week to think zbout it." Meanwhile Fearne is busy just POLISHING ...

Ira is just getting strange on us and I don't like it at all ... FCG is being really smart trying to get s read on him right now ...WOW he's got seriously flowery in his dreams of vengeance ... FCG: "What's your five year plan?" Oh boy ...

Ira: "Friends complicated things." The Nightmare King's solution to worry ... hmmm ...

Laura doesn't want to get any messages right now. Laura: "Don't wear me out!" Yeah ... so Letters contacts Orym instead. Oh yeah, the aeormaton? Good point.

Fearne (to FCG): "I trust YOU. I don't trust the coin."

Yup. 2 free rerolls with the Potion of Possibility. Handy but only so much ... wait, is this like Harry drinking the Liquid Luck?

COME ON guys, Ira is TOTALLY gonna leave Xandis on the ship to die. This is so dumb ... oh yeah, I am TOTALLY with Xandis here, he CANNOT trust this creature ... 23 on an insight check and SAM gets a whisper? Marisha has to scramble for a plug ... no, it's just a really SHORT whisper then. Almost like a yes or no, you might say ...

Fearne: "What I need you to do is DESTROY." Ira: "Oh I will." Yeah ...

Xandis drinks the other Potion ... yup ...

A missing lens? Ooooooh ... now THAT is interesting ...

Ira: "That way! And don't get lost!" Fearne: "Oh, I wasn't aware that was a possibility."

Oh yeah, they are DEFINITELY gonna get lost in this shit ... 27? Oh that is a FUCKING NICE ROLL there Ashley! Yes!

Crap ... Chetney's not got another wolf-out available after this? Shit ... TAKE A LONG REST MAN!!! LONG REST!!!

Nuts ... trouble? Not good, not good ...

Ashton: "Chickpeas means punch someone? Okay."

Laudna's creepy mind hissing doesn't give her away? That's interesting.

Oh yeah, these two look both fancy and potentially messy ... hmmm ...

MORE new arrivals? Oh, it's FCG and Fearne ... phew! Letters, just chill! XD Fearne: "Who do we know that has a twang?" Oh my gods this is a hilarious mess ...

Orym: "Ira's a Fey sociopath!" FCG: "Well that's a bit judgy." Orym: "I'm not being judgy, he's a Fey sociopath!"

Oh, the other lens they fixed? Smart!

Trying to fix the aeormaton ... seriously, is this even gonna work? Does FCG have the first clue what to do here?

"Fucking pigeons in a sandstorm ... desert pigeons."

Whoa ... Holy FUCK is he actually gonna be zble to make this work? Crazy ... FCG: "I'll have to do surgery on myself!" Um ... what? Hooooo ... wow, nice ... FCG IS NOW A SUPERBOT!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!!

Orym: "This us what all that time with the wooden feet was for, Letters!" FCG: "I know, but this is different!"

Nice! Short rest achieved!

Somebody don't fit ... hmmm ... Fearne is willing to go outside? Might not be that smart ...

Ooof ... Travis ripping the piss about Beau and Caleb ... meanwhile Orym calling Caleb a "magic daddy"? This is getting SOOO meta right now ... XD

Sam: "Matthew, how do I see?" Travis: "You the the glasses off." LOL

Orym trying to hide in plain sight in this thing's hand is a really bad idea ...

Matt: "It's a bit of a clown car circumstance." No shit!

Imogen is a little girl leading round a big robot ... "Full Bioshock." Cute.

Ashton(to Imogen): "Ticking clock, one hour, and if you hear from us sooner, call in the Ashari."

FCG really likes being BIG all of a sudden. Fearne: "Do you feel like a big old daddy?" XD

Ooof ... heads on spikes? Yeah, that's not good at all ... oh, this is what's left of the Vasselheim crew? Yeah ... that's just charming. Laudna:imo "We're smarter than all of Vasselheim!"

Wow ... this thing sounds INTIMIDATING ... are they sure the skyship is even gonna make a DENT on this structure? I mean REALLY?

Sam's getting all kinds of esoteric with the latest piece of flask humour, clearly ...

Imogen messages Keyleth and fills her in on the plan ... okay, it's ramping up ...

Oh, this magic dispelling wave is gonna be a problem, ain't it? Fuuuuuck ... according to Pate it's like getting kicked in the nuts ... DOES he have nuts? According to former hamster owner Laura rodents have BIG nuts and I can't believe the direction this conversation has taken ...

Oh shit ... have they just been rumbled? RATANISH?!!! Shit ... oh, fake it that Orym's a prisoner? Risky ... okay, looks like that's worked. Phew ...

No. Do not piss in the robot, Chetney!

Lots of corpses ... yeah, do they still have their heads?

Ashley tries to give Guidance. Travis: "NO. MAGIC." Ah. Yeah ...

Gah! Stealth and deception checks! Eep! Is this about to go horribly wrong? Oh shit ... is Imogen about to gey found out? NATURAL 20?!!! WOOHOO!!! Imogen just bounces this fucker RIGHT out of her head. Oh that was SO COOL!!! Liam (clearly impressed): "I'm Batman!"

Shit shit shit shit shit ... it's Otohan! FUCK!!!

Oh, there's Ryn ... :(

Yeah, they are just SURROUNDED by enemies now, aren't they? Go SERIOUSLY careful here, guys!

Imogen's mum! There she is! Okay then ... whoa, she's like super Telekinetic ... hmmm ...

Yeah, Imogen is just trying to brazen her way right through here, ain't she? Maybe this could work ...

Planning, planning ...

Going down, then ... NOT the Otohan cavern then ... "the Notohan" even ... oof ...

Oh, nice! Imogen intimidation for the win! Cute.

Is this about to fall apart because of a squeaky hinge? Oh, NICE ROLL!!! Phew ...

Sending Pate on a scout ... QUIETLY!!!

Well now THAT could be a useful target at the right moment ... if in doubt, blow up anything that looks volatile.

So, bluff them out or just fight? Oof ... splitting the party again ... which of course makes me uneasy ...

Bluff? Really? Oh yeah, no, this is TOTALLY funny business.

Ah! ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Here we go then ... suppose it had to kick off SOMETIME ...

Must admit, that is a VERY sexy battle map.

Sneaky Orym grappling! Nice! Dragonborn is DOWN!!! Bait and Switch! Sweet moves as always, Wee Man!

Hypnotic Pattern? Oof ... shit, so Imogen and Chetney are good but Orym and Ashton are now FROZEN!!! Shit!

Aha! Turmoil! Go Chet! Angry little geriatric is DANGEROUS!!!

Oh that is some UNFAIR ganging up on the tiny werewolf!

HELP!!! Imogen calls for aid ... Psychic Whip? Sweet! Nice moves ... AND penalties? Always fun. Ho! And now the boys are BACK in the game again! Yes!

Pate and Laudna's turn! Pate: "Gonna Grasping Shock you!" XD Nice! ZAP!!!

Nuts, one round before reinforcements ...

NEIN!!! Nine damage ... and Orym HDYWTDTs the Dragonborn! Perfect.

Laura: "Don't jinx this shit!" So Ashton rages ... rainbow streaky madness ensues! POW!!! Fuck ... Full blown decapitation on the half-giant! Nice!

Oh yeah, Chetney just ends the fight through pure intimidation. Good job, people!

The Duskmaven? Interesting ...

Chetney: "Anything you can remember right now keeps your lower jaw attached to your head." Oof ...

Oh man ... SO CLOSE to stepping on a magical landmine!

"Basic bitch shit"? Yeah, I know Chetney hates metalwork, but still ...

I love how Ashley's just DETERMINED to offer up Guidance to EVERYBODY at the slightest opportunity. XD

Oh fuck ... Otohan is now coming STRAIGHT FOR THEIR CAVERN!!! Mayday! Mayday!

Shit, and NOW they're on their break? Damn your cliffhangers, Mercer!

Welcome back ... and a change in atmospherics? Oooh ...

Laudna's Spiderclimb is always fun. :) And everybody's hiding ... random D20 rolls? Oh, for Beau and Caleb? Eep ...

BOOM!!! Bye bye magical blockers! Nice one!

Psychic Lance! Sweet move, Imogen! But Otohan shrugs off the worst of it ... crap ... still hurts, but not SERIOUSLY. Damn it!

Whoa ... she's just RUNNING?!!! Now FCG plays dumb and just AMBUSHES her with a rock! Nice! Oh, a miss? BALLS!!!

Call in the ship! Cut the cords! DO STUFF!!!

FCG (to Ira): "It's time!" Travis (chuckling): "Project Chicken Little."

Okay ... just HALF the damage from a BIG explosion, then ... phew, I guess?

So ... this is SORT OF working, right?

Oh, okay ... so this is the big showdown then, right? Okay then ...

Yup, clearly Caleb done gone fucked THAT shit up ...

FCG is right in the middle of this shit now ... what to do? Oh ... REALLY? He's just gonna go and PICK RYN UP?!!!

Oh gods ... FUCK!!! FUCK!!! Did FCG just DESTROY Ryn? Shit ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Oh fuck this is so bad ...

Uh-oh ... it's never good when Matt does a lot of rolling ... Matt: "Ooh ... you're so fucking lucky." Oh ... wait ... the aeormaton is now DEAD!!! FCG is still good but he is now BLIND AND TRAPPED!!!

Ooh, sucker punch? Ashton, that was just MEAN!!!

Oops, company's coming ... Laudna: "Act frantic, it's fucked!"

BLUFF!!! "It's ... been compromised!" I can't believe that actually WORKS!!!

Otohan: "Gather at the Key!" Okay ... that's ominous ...

Another D20 double roll? Oof ...

Fuck ... Caleb! What? Do something! Help him!

Oh shit ... and now here comes Beau ... and they're EXPECTED?!!! Shit ... oh man, this is getting SO BAD!!!

Ryn's okay ... oh shit ... SHE'S MISSING HER FUCKING ARM!!! Aaaaahhh!

DODECAHEDRON?!!! Seriously? GAH!!! And now hoursxflash by in SECONDS!!!

Fuck! Ruidus is on the rise! Shit!

Another battle map! Sam: "Oh ... Matthew, this is BRUTAL!!!"

Oh man, that is EPIC SHIT!!! Incredible work! At the worst possible time, though!

Sam: "Can I try to jump-start myself?" Oh! Yes! Try that! It fails ... BALLS!!!

BOOM!!! The Silver Sun hits! And does ZERO DAMAGE?!!! FUCK!!! That's a total damp squib!

Well, at least Ira kept his word regarding saving Xandis ...

Fearne trying to melt Beau's chain bonds ... hmmm ... this could go SO spectacularly wrong ...

Ah yes, the classic mad bastard supervillain justification monologue from Ludinus ...

Hooooo ... Imogen that was SWEET!!! Caleb is now free ...

Yeah, Big Bad really is just YAPPING AWAY right now ... meanwhile Orym continues to be a stealthy badass. Help Letters, man!

Whoa ... Bull's Strength? That's pretty cool ... and yet Sam rolls SHITE ... balls. FCG remains stuck.

MAXIMUM TEAM EFFORT!!! Yes! It worked! FCG is finally free!

Imogen tries to appeal to her mother's conscience ... oh shit, this could backfire SO BADLY!!! Come on ... PLEASE let this go like ROTJ! Give Liliana her Vader redemption!

Wow ... Chetney's just off here being the world's tiniest King Kong ... and the worst, apparently. Yeah, that didn't do SHIT.

No! Leave FCG alone, you evil prick!

Oh shit! Here come the Ashari! Here we go!

Shit ... this is all about to go full fucking SOUTH, ain't it?

Come on Imogen, snap your mum out of this funk! You can do it!

Liliana ... wait ... dud she just BANISH the Nightmare King? Seriously?

Whoa ... Holy shit ... Imogen and Fearne ... what the hell is going on? The Ruidusborn connection ... oh, this can't be good!

Light that fuse and RUN!!!

BOOM!!! Perfect timing, mid speech and everything!

Holy fuck ... everybody's getting healed? Nice!

Fucking Otohan ... AND her bloody doubles! I hate her!

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! AGAIN!!!

Matt! Stop rolling PLEASE!!! You cannot murder Keyleth! NOOOOOO!!!

Oh my fucking gods this is BRUTAL!!! And all we can do is just SIT HERE and watch! This is PAINFUL!!! Stop with the fucking Action Surges!

WHAT?!!! Vax to the rescue? REALLY?!!! OH FUCK THAT IS AWESOME!!! RIGHTEOUS!!! RIGHTEOUS!!!

The whole table is going insane and I am totally with them all!

FCG tries to come to the rescue! And he can do SHIT right now! And yeah ... shit, he doesn't know who Caleb actually IS!!! Do it anyway, Sam! FUCK!!! Shit roll, BALLS!!!

Orym goes straight for Otohan's backpack ... and rolls BEAUTIFULLY!!! AND an Action Surge! Tanked that one ... but still, that was SO GOOD all the same!

All down go the roll on the Goading attack ... 1? SHIT!!! At least she has disadvantage now ...

Fearne tries to trash the pack too ... come on girl ... FUCK!!! All right, Mister, it's your turn ... come on monkey man! 17? BALLS!!!

Come on Liliana, just SNAP OUT OF IT!!! Vader redemption!

Chetney wolf attack on Ludinus? DO IT, Chet! Come on Travis, roll good! SHIELD? Oh you evil fucker! Fuck! AND a natural 1? FUCK!!! And now Chetney is IMPALED ON THE KEY!!!

Imogen has a perfect shot on the backpack ... FUCK!!! Witchbolt misses! And now she's given away her position! Crap! Get through to you mother, Imogen! You can do it!

Liliana: "This is for the best." FUCK!!!

What? Keyleth was just BAIT?!!! Vax is now just a compressed sphere of black energy and it's all going to shit!

ALL the Ruidusborn are now being activated at once! Shit! Whoa ... the lighting on the studio's gone full on red! Crazy! That's it! Ludinus has won! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Seriously, what just happened?

Wait ... Laudna? On her own? I don't get it ... oh, Ashton! He's there too ... what the hell ... Orym? Okay ...

No Pate? That can't be a good sign ...

So it's just the three of them? Ruidus in the sky, and a red beam ... ummmm ...

FCG? Okay ... phew? White powdery dunes? Hmmm ... no moons? He has NO IDEA where he is ... oh! Fearne's there too! Good! And Chetney can hear them calling out, they're back together at least ...

Okay, so ... two separated groups and NO SIGN OF IMOGEN ...

Uthodurn? What the hell?

Matt: "And that's where we're gonna call it a night." WHAT?!!! WHAAAAATT?!!! SERIOUSLY!!!

The party are split, and HALF of them are ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING PLANET?!!! AND there's no sign of Imogen? Oh my gods this is so bad! This can't be the cliffhanger! Matt Mercer this is TOO CRUEL!!! We can't wait a whole week yo resolve this mess!

AAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!!!