#I was getting better while the X-Men were my primary fandom

[kiragecko]

I started drawing with comics characters, and this has dogged my art for 25 years.

Not even because I want to draw nonbinary characters. Though, I do.

I want to draw LADIES. But there are so many exaggerated elements that I'm used to, that ONLY work for thin fem characters. So many short cuts and assumptions I need to deconstruct.

I want to draw characters that I can put in hijab. Most superhero comics encode SO MUCH body information into the waistline that their characters lose cohesion if it's not defined.

I want to draw fat characters. Once again, comics characters can start reading ... wrong if you add fat in certain places. Visual shorthand stops working.

Comics are one of the few places where long-haired guys usually look weird to me, rather than attractive. Something about the 'acceptable' facial structures, necks, and shoulders.

There are SO MANY types of cheek-bones, jawlines, and facial structures I just can't figure out how to do! Because the art I've seen doesn't actually DRAW those parts of the face, or simplifies it too much for me to be able to do anything different. And any attempt to do something different ends up looking like racial caricature. (This is related to gender for the same reason that WOC get called 'unfeminine'. Because a soft, lineless face with a gentle jawline is the essential signifier of femininity in this style of art.)

I don't do art often enough to motivate me to DO that work deconstructing my visual shorthand, and not having done the work kills a lot of my motivation to draw. And I don't have QUITE enough fundamentals to just passively pick up skill by looking at art, the way I do with writing.

It's frustrating!

Your first mistake in art is thinking you draw men and women inherently differently

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 15: Forever

Fandom: Inception

Pairing: Robert Fischer x OC

Summary: Maurice has some opinions regarding Robert and Alice’s future.

Word Count: 1,354

Notes: Warnings for depictions of Maurice Fischer being a shitty father (as usual).   

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Robert winced at the way that his father groaned, head lolling from side to side in the hospital bed, muttering incoherently to himself. 

“Dad?” setting aside the papers he’d been reading over, he leaned forward. “Are you okay? You in pain?”

The drugs that the doctors had him on were powerful. Robert wasn’t entirely sure that his father even knew that he was there.

“Wanted her gone…” his father babbled nonsensically. “Just wanted her gone. Will ruin your life…”

Robert frowned.

“Just wanted you to see the truth…about her…”

Robert felt his temper spike. It was obvious who his father was babbling about. He and Alice had been together for years, and yet his father continued to disapprove. To turn his nose up at Alice every chance he got.

Robert suspected that he was still clinging to a sliver of hope that they would break up at some point. 

He’d done everything in his power to try to place himself between them. To protect Alice from the brunt of his father’s cruelty. Both of them knew that there was nothing they could do to convince his father that Alice was anything more than a selfish gold digger.  

Robert had often suspected that the primary motivation for why his father had shoved other women onto him so aggressively had been in an attempt to drive Alice away. A method that had actually worked, if only briefly. Not to mention that he still tried it, every now and then. At galas or parties. Various social functions. Robert always turned them away, of course, but there were times when he spotted a flash of insecure nervousness wash across Alice’s face.

It really wasn’t fair to her. And while he was not often someone who got genuinely angry, or shouted, the way that his father treated her had been the subject of several rare screaming matches between him and his father.

“Alice loves me,” he growled at him, gathering up his papers. And then, because he was in a particularly spiteful mood, “which is a lot more than can be said for you.”  

Shoving the papers into his briefcase, he headed for the door, opening it only to nearly run headlong into Uncle Peter.

“Robert. Are you leaving?” he asked, noting the briefcase.

“Yeah. He’s completely out of it. No reason to stay,” Robert responded curtly.

“She’s an ugly, selfish bitch, son…” his father muttered from the hospital bed. Robert felt his hands ball into fists.

“And if I have to sit around and listen to him spout that kind of shit again, I’m going to smother him,” he added, shouldering past Uncle Peter and into the hallway.

“Robert.”

He groaned as his godfather began to follow him. “What?”

“Your father just wants what’s best for you.”

“Do not defend him on this, Uncle Peter.”

“Look, son, I like Alice. She’s a good kid and she’s good for you. But…”

“But what?” Robert did not like where this was heading. Uncle Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.

“When it comes to…to marriage, Robert, it might be better to consider someone more…”

Robert came to a screeching halt. “More…what?”

“More suitable to your station in life, son.”

He stared at Uncle Peter in silent fury. “Get away from me,” he said, darkly.

“No one is saying that you can’t still see her. It would just have to be more as a…well, in the capacity as a…erm…”

“As a what? What? Make her my…my mistress? My side-piece? Is that what you’re suggesting?” Robert felt like he was going to throw up.

“It’s what most men in your position do, Robert.”

“We aren’t having this conversation,” he began to walk away again.

“Robert,” Uncle Peter scrambled to follow him. “Robert, your father will never, ever allow you to marry Alice. You understand that, right?”

Robert swallowed around the lump in his throat, rage making his mind feel hazy. Uncle Peter sighed.

“Maurice and I were planning on having this conversation with you together, goddammit,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Robert. 

“Oh, that makes it better,” he growled sarcastically.

“Robert, he will cut you off. From everything. I’ve tried to change his mind, but he won’t budge. Not on this.”

“We’re not even engaged or anything,” Robert complained. Not that the thought hadn’t entered his mind, but he was waiting for the right time. 

“No, but you’ve been together for a good long while, now.”

“Maybe I’ll just wait until he’s dead,” Robert spat bitterly. “From the looks of things, that won’t be long now.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Robert sighed. He was exhausted. Couldn’t they all just give him a bit of peace? Was that too much to ask? “Maybe I do, Uncle Peter.”

“Your father loves you, Robert.”

He laughed at that, a bitter, angry sound. “Then why has he spent so much time working to make my life miserable, Uncle Peter?”

“Rob–”

“I don’t want to have this conversation again, Uncle Peter. I mean it. Alice isn’t going anywhere. I love her. I’m going home.”

Ignoring Uncle Peter’s calls of his name, he walked out the doors to the hospital and got in his car, sighing and burying his face in his hands. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“You’re quiet,” Alice commented, leaning against him on the couch, lazily dragging a toy across the carpet for the cats to chase.

“Am I?”

“Mhm. Everything okay at the hospital?”

“Oh, you know. The same,” he considered telling her about his conversation with Uncle Peter, then sighed. There really was no point in trying to keep it from her. He would tell her about it eventually; he always did. “Uncle Peter wanted to talk about my…future, I guess.”

“Your future at the company?” Alice asked, head cocking to look up at him.

“No,” he huffed. “My future involving you.”

Brows raising, she set the cat toy down, sitting up to more properly look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that apparently it was very important to both of them that it be known that if I ever marry you, I can expect to never see a single piece of my inheritance.”

“Oh,” for a sliver of a moment, he saw the hurt cross her face at the rejection from his family, and he felt like the worst person in the world to have to have told her that. But she recovered fast, shrugging at the news. “Well, that’s not entirely a surprise.” 

Robert touched her face. “It’s not fair,” he whispered. Alice cocked her head, looking at him softly, turning her head to nose at his palm.

“We’ll be okay. We don’t need to be married to be together.”

“I know,” he pouted. “But I would like to marry you.”

Her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink under his palm. “I’d like that too.”

Humming, he craned his head down enough to kiss her. “We just have to wait until Dad dies, I guess.”

“You don’t suppose that he could put it in his will that if you ever marry me you lose your inheritance, do you?” she asked. Robert started.

“I don’t–he can’t do that…can he?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Fuck the inheritance, then. I’ll marry you anyway.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t throw away your whole future just for me…”

“You’re my future,” he said, cradling her cheeks, pulling her more firmly on top of him on the couch. Alice kissed him, passionately enough for him to know without her saying that she agreed.

“We have time,” she said. He nodded.

“Old man can’t live forever.”

“Don’t say that! Now he’ll live until he’s a hundred.”

Robert chuckled, pecking the side of her neck, breathing in the scent of her soap. “Will you love me forever?” he asked, voice smaller than he had intended for it to sound. Sitting up, though still close enough for her nose to brush against his, Alice smiled.

“For ever and ever, Robbie,” she promised, lips ghosting over his.

“Good,” his palm flattened across her back, pressing her flush against him. “Good. Me too.”

She laughed sweetly, and let him pull her closer.

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[lucyadresearchlab]

Week 6 - 29th October How does my design respond to my research

My project is based around the contribution fashion has in music fandoms. I started off by researching the history of fashion in music especially in subcultures as early as MODS, Punk and Hippies.

I've also looked at specific examples of musicians and bands who really involve fashion into what they do as well as fashion designers who work with musicians.

I also conducted primary research to gain a better understanding of what the public think about fashion in music, such as do they get involved with these trends, do they express themselves through fashion and is this related to the music they listen to. I also asked if they take part in any fandoms or subcultures currently or in the past. It was mostly Generation Z who answered my questionnaire however there were also some people from Generation X who said they were part of a fandom or subculture when they were younger. I think a lot of the people who are part of these tend to be teenagers or of the younger generations at the time as it helps give them a sense of identity and a safe place when they are still developing as people.

This is why I chose to target my band towards the younger generations (Gen Z and Gen Alpha) as they are the most likely to want a new band to listen to and look up to. Since the band will be online it also makes sense that they would be catered towards younger people who are more familiarised with technology. However it will still be open to anyone of any age but naturally it will cater to one demographic more than others.

When looking at the history of the contribution fashion has had in music it has almost always related to a social, environmental or political issue. Targeting a certain issue, usually against a certain community including; racism, women's rights, lgbtq+ rights, class issues and environmental issues. This has resonated with people for over many decades as they then see it as a way for them to express their opinions and ideas through clothes ad the music of their favourite bands while also creating a sense of community with others.

I then asked in my questionnaire what people like about what their favourite bands stand for and most people said that they like that they have similar morals to them, this is because it makes fans feel seen and feel like they can relate to their favourite musicians. These similar morals include; political rights, green issues, diversity, equality, lgbtq rights, womens rights and general human rights.

So with this I aimed for my band to include these attributes. Hence why my band has a diverse mixture of both men and women, races and people of the lgbtq+ community. With this hopefully people will have at least one member that they see aspects of themselves in whether thats physical attributes, style, personalities, or other characteristics such as similar morals.

[leportraitducadavre]

On Itachi, his fandom, and moral standpoints

Once again I come back with a meta, unsurprisingly, of Naruto’s manga and, more specifically, about a character in particular, Uchiha Itachi, his fandom and what it entails and represents. My decision to make him the primary focus of this meta is just to bring light (open the door for more in depth debates) of a deeper, much more complicated problem that Itachi represents, but undoubtedly surpasses him and the Naruto manga as a whole.

Be warned, my take on Itachi’s fandom does not contemplate those fans who merely enjoy him but do not negate important parts of his character, if that’s your particular case, then be assured that I did not have you in my mind when writing this. This is about, let’s say, the hardcore fandom he possesses, that justifies (and to some extent, celebrates) his implications in the UCM and blindfold loyalty to Konoha and its system.

How can I even begin to introduce Itachi’s character? What he was supposed to be and what he surprisingly became? How to start to explain his fenomenon? Itachi was not supposed to be good, from his introduction he was a manipulative, dark character that tortured physically and mentally Sasuke and was a threat to Naruto’s (the protagonist) life. At no point during the first part of the manga were we able to see glimpses of a “good” Itachi that the narrative later on tried to establish, and yet, there were three (conected) factors of imperative importance to understand the raise of his character from the first part of the manga to the other. 

The first one was, let’s call it, his intrinsecal persona's appeal (and everything it encompases).

Itachi’s not the first cryptic male character that gets favored by a large part of the fandom for that mere trait (look at any shönen or show and see how many characters whose sole trait is to be mysterious becomes the fandom’s favorite), added to the fact that he’s powerful enough to subdue men who’s status of geniuses are often highlighted in the manga (Orochimaru and Kakashi), and his... physical charm, you have a powerful combo to make readers incline more and more on his favor. Itachi had sparked their interest. 

There are boxes to fill to attract the public interest to a character, and Itachi filled in all of them. 

The Power-Mystery-Beauty triangle is not an unknown formula (Christian Gray, Edward Cullen, to name characters from mainstream, from other manga there is Light, now surprisingly, Dabi) and in every fiction work it has appeared, it worked to lure the (female) public towards it.

But is that enough? For some, yes, for most, Itachi represents something that they desired profoundly, and that’s entirely attached to Sasuke’s character.

Even back in the first part of the manga, Sasuke’s character was received mixedly, there were people who saw his personality as too abrasive (similar to Itachi’s but because Sasuke was supposed to be with the nice guys, this aspect of him clashed rather harshly with his position on the narrative) and considered him a mere emo who believed himself to be better than Naruto and Sakura (he was, but he also acknowledged this fact, which make some readers disapprove of him even more). 

Itachi challenged that “so-called” superiority, additionally downgrading and humiliating him in a way readers felt he, to some extent, deserved. The dislike of part of the fandom of Sasuke’s character found a way of purchase inside the manga. Naruto wasn’t strong enough (and eventually cared too much) to subdue Sasuke, Sakura was too in awe with him to “stand up against him”, Kakashi saw his greatness and taught him powerful jutsus while paying zero attention to his other students. Until Itachi, no other character seemed to put Sasuke “in his place”, because even the villains of each arc seemed particularly obsessed with Sasuke and Sasuke only, elevating even more his importance and status and sidelining Naruto and (of course), Sakura, who were left with mere participations in what seemed a Sasuke-focused plot. Up at this point, Sasuke was far more important than the actual protagonist of the manga but Itachi, who was actually Sasuke’s goal, who was actually the person Sasuke aspired to surpass, abused him, manipulated him and -more importantly- seemed more focused on getting Naruto -hence, retribution: the only person Sasuke seemed to care about didn’t seem care about him at all.

Itachi’s coolness, strength and mature handsomeness (that Sasuke did not present until Shippuden, but Itachi was literally introduced with), plus the dislike of Sasuke’s character and the belief that he needed to be rectified, the reason of which will be brought up next, appealed the teenage fandom in a way strong enough to catapult him inside the popularity polls just right after his presentation. 

The Self-inserts inside Itachi’s fandom

As I introduced, a large part of the fandom back in the first part already, and in Shippuden particularly, had a deep dislike of Sasuke’s character and wanted him to suffer -to be beaten, to be “owned”, Itachi’s character fulfilled that wish, which takes me to the second factor. 

You can’t explain this point in particular without adding the “self-insert” and “reader-insert” notions that often gets attached to Itachi (Sakura, Naruto and Hinata) fans, 

“Self-insertion is a practice by authors of writing themselves into their own stories, either explicitly or in thinly-disguised form; in a fannish context this most often means fan writers writing themselves into their favorite source material so that they can interact with canon or its characters” (X)

Whilst

“Reader-Insert is a type of fanfiction, almost always written in 2nd person Point of View; the protagonist is always the reader, and is usually paired with one of the canon characters. "Reader-insert" typically has a hyphen hyphen, but is also known as Canon X Reader (sometimes CanonXReader).” (X)

In this particular case, many readers had succumbed to something slightly in between. The manga doesn’t belong to them, so the only one in position to literally self-insert is Kishimoto (canonically), so they are left with the option of attaching themselves personally to a pre-existed character with whom they feel somewhat represented. If not, then at least they attach emotionally to a character because it represents what they desire (this can be more observed in the shipping part of the fandom). Meaning, they use a canon established character that is not literally the reader, but who clearly represents them or represents what they want in their significant (romantical) other. 

Sakura was the only female lead who had a crush on the cool guy, readers (particular female ones) didn’t need much to feel a connection with her (during the first part, Kishimoto didn’t even give them much to do so, but they still attached to her with the prospect of what she might become), while Naruto was the dead last, it appealed to those who also felt that they weren’t popular or were mistreated by their peers.

But what the self-inserts of Sakura or even Naruto had to do with the increasing love for Itachi? 

To explain this in a way that can be understandable: Sakura fans who believed Sasuke disrespected her when not acknowledging her feelings or when downgrading her skills often turned their attention to the man of similar physique and strength to fulfill their fantasies of reciprocation -because canonically, Itachi had neither rejected, nor downgraded her character. In the same fashion, Naruto fans who believe Sasuke is egotistical by not caring for/acknowledging Naruto in the same manner he does (hence, not deserving him), tend to also indulge in the same type of behavior previously mentioned. 

Later on, when the narrative introduces the idea that Itachi stands alongside Konoha (Naruto and Sakura), thus, against Sasuke (from an idealistic standpoint), this particular practice deepens, grows. They feel validated on their idea that Itachi will treat  their favorite character (them) better, while at the same time punishing Sasuke for rejecting them.

There are not many cases of Itachi self-inserts, I’m not denying their existence however because he did fulfilled a wish many readers had (against Sasuke), but Itachi’s self-insert part of the fandom seems to be more in terms of female character fans that desire their favorite kunoichi to be loved/desired/respected? by a powerful, handsome, mysterious character. 

Sasuke’s importance in the narrative (and character growth)

Sasuke escaping Konoha to get to Orochimaru, train, and become strong enough to defeat Itachi and avenge his clan won’t hold up for the four hundred or so chapters Naruto Shippuden lasts. After Itachi’s defeat at his hands, Sasuke had no reason not to return to Konoha, more importantly, he had no reason to fight Naruto as it was the intention and ultimate and most important clash in the manga since the introduction of their rivalry. 

Sasuke’s growth as a character (that I spoke more detailed in this post) was tied to the introduction of a deeper, more important problem: Konoha’s involvement in the UCM. It wasn’t new in Naruto to present the dichotomy and harsh truths of the shinobi system (Hyuga clan, Haku, Jinchurikis), and the intervention of Konoha’s government in the massacre of the Uchiha clan provided the narrative with a reason to have both Sasuke and Naruto fighting in different sides of the battlefield, but also presented a deeper problem: Itachi couldn’t be bad.

He couldn’t stand in the “bad” side of the field because both, that would put Naruto (the hero) in the same morally bad position, and Itachi's fandom (which was massive), was eager for redemption, they demanded it, and Naruto is not a manga that doesn’t get influenced by what its purchasers want. In consequence, they needed to justify Itachi’s actions. We can talk about how abysmally bad they did it, we can talk about how much better this problem could have been sorted out, but that is not the core of this post. 

Kishimoto loved Sasuke, I have said this before, despite the fandom wishes, he stood his ground when it came to Sasuke and his revolutionary position until the very end. Maintaining that ideal as just, put Naruto (hence, Itachi) in the wrong. But because the narrative needed Naruto to be good and in the right, he ended up justifying genocide by justifying Itachi.

Consequently, and with the appeal he earned with his introduction and the Sasuke-hate (self-inserts), Itachi became a favorite character amongst favorite characters despite being a plot holes with legs. Readers eagerly consumed whatever panel proved that Itachi was not the bad guy he was previously believed to be. (proved or at least didn’t show, Itachi still commited genocide, but we don’t get to see such attrocities so its easier to forget he slaughtered innocent people, children amongst them). Readers who liked him were desperate for the narrative’s validation.

Core of the issue

Which brings me to the core of the post and in retrospection, I have already presented it: moral standpoints. This is not new, I’m not introducing any new idea, and this is hardly something that happens solely in the Naruto’s (and most specifically Itachi’s) fandom. Liking or not a character is tied to so many subjective variables that it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a character desirable or despicable despite solid traits being commonly shared on particular troups. And yet, liking or not a character became a moral standpoint for which people judged each other on a personal level. It has happened since always, but the internet did nothing but make more accessible and public this type of clashes. Therefore, Redemption Arcs became the most precious gem inside fictional works and Naruto fell for it, and fell hard. 

It’s almost mandatory to have the narrative’s validation in order to enjoy a character freely and Naruto provided it to Itachi’s fandom. His actions were justified by the manga and the most important (and beloved) characters stood by his side, even those who were victims of him forgave his actions because there was someone (with less appeal and more morally questionable actions under his belt) to blame further. Having the narrative’s moral validation is more important than actually being in the right. 

Itachi was manipulated by the Will of Fire who he learned from Hiruzen who was passed to him by Tobirama who created it because he was raised during the Warring States Period, so his apprehension to the Uchiha was justified. It’s a train of justifications that ultimately holds no one responsible for the genocide of an entire clan/race which then becomes something bound to happen. So to save face, they use an escape goat: Danzo and the Curse of Hatred. They put the blame of the massacre to a single character and the actual victims because, well, they were genetically prone to disaster and killing them was the only way to ensure (temporary) peace.

Liking a character doesn’t automatically mean condoning its actions but because that subjective appeal became more and more the reflection of the reader’s ideals (for some reason I’m not here to trace), those two actions merged, which translated consequently into demanding the narrative’s validation of our tastes. There’s no denial of the pleasing sensation that comes with having the plot’s endorsement for liking a complex/morally gray or even dark character, but that approval turned to be the most important/valuable requirement, which, in turn, made readers justificate (supported by the narrative) despicable actions, such as genocide. 

Let’s go back to the second bullet point, self- inserts, as to discern more in depth their reasons to look for a justification on Itachi’s character: Itachi (an Uchiha that was not affected by the Curse, as his peers were) who the narrative proclaims wanted his brother’s safety and happiness above all things, stands morally with Konoha (hence, the readers’ favorite character). Therefore, justifying his actions is justifying Sakura and Naruto’s actions against Sasuke (manipulation is alright because Itachi did it, trying to kill Sasuke because he didn’t want to bend to their will is alright because Itachi did it), it gives them reasons to believe that they are on the right side of the battlefield, it gives them moral superiority. They’re in the right, they are good people, Sasuke was too deep in his hatred to either see it or correspond their feelings and that’s why he needs to be saved, and who more appropriate to do so than the two characters that were mocked by him during the first part of the manga? Even in the end, Itachi still gives them the retribution they still feel deserve and that Sasuke -still- didn’t give. 

[itsclydebitches]

TBH I think the whole "You didn't have an issue with this in 'insert x show here' but you have an issue with it in RWBY? What are you, sexist?" thing can easily be defused with a simple, "How did RWBY present this plot-point compared to the show I like?"

Sure, technically Cinder Fall and Darth Maul are the 'same' character, but how are the two presented in their respective shows? Cinder eats up screentime and none of it goes anywhere and gets frustrating. Maul is a relatively minor villain that had one season's worth of attention in CW and then was the villain of a few episodes throughout Rebels before getting killed off.

The only reason someone would be confused as to why people like Maul but hate Cinder is if they just read the two's respective wiki pages.

Really the whole "Your issues with RWBY are just subconscious misogyny" is just some people wanting to slap labels onto others so they can feel validated on not agreeing with their opinions.

Generally speaking, I'm wary of any take that boils down to a single sentence, "You're just [insert accusation here]." Not because such accusations are always 100% without merit—with a canon dealing with as many sensitive subjects as RWBY, combined with a fandom as large and diverse as it has become, you're bound to come across some people whose "criticism" stems primarily from bigotry—but because such dismissive summaries never tackle the problem a fan has pointed out. If one fan goes, "Ruby's plan was foolish because [reasons]" and the response to that is "You just can't handle a woman leader," then that response has failed to disprove the argument presented. The thing about "criticism" based in bigotry is that there isn't actually a sound argument attached because, you know, the only "argument" here is "I don't like people who aren't me getting screen time." So you can spot that really easily. The person who is actually misogynistic is going to be spouting a lot of rants about how awful things are... but very little evidence as to why it's awful, leaving only the fact that our characters are women as the (stupid) answer.

And yes, there is something to be said for whether, culturally, we're harder on women characters than we are men. Are we subconsciously more critical of what women do in media simply because we have such high expectations for that representation and, conversely, have become so used to such a variety of rep for men—including endlessly subpar/outright bad stories—that we're more inclined to shrug those mistakes off? That's absolutely worth discussing, yet at the same time, acknowledging that doesn't mean those criticisms no longer exist. That's where I've been with the Blake/Yang writing for a while now. I think fans are right to point out that we may be holding them to a higher standard than we demand of straight couples, but that doesn't mean the criticisms other fans have of how the ship has been written so far are without merit. Those writing mistakes still exist even if we do agree that they would have been overlooked in a straight couple—the point is they shouldn't exist in either. Both are still bad writing, no matter whether we're more receptive to one over the other. Basically, you can be critical of a queer ship without being homophobic. Indeed, in an age where we're getting more queer rep than ever before, it's usually the queer fans who are the most critical. Because we're the ones emotionally invested in it. The true homophobes of the fandom either dropped RWBY when the coding picked up, or spend their time ranting senselessly about how the ship is horrible simply because it exists, not because of how it's been depicted. Same for these supposed misogynists. As a woman, I want to see Ruby and the others written as complex human beings, which includes having them face up to the mistakes they've made. The frustration doesn't stem from me hating women protagonists, but rather the fact that they're written with so little depth lately and continually fall prey to frustrating writing decisions.

And then yeah, you take all those feelings, frustrations, expectations, and ask yourself, "Have I seen other shows that manage this better?" Considering that RWBY is a heavily anime-inspired show where all the characters are based off of known fairy tales and figures... the answer is usually a resounding, "Yes." As you say, I keep coming across accusations along the lines of, "People were fine with [insert choice here] when [other show] did it," as if that's some sort of "Gotcha!" moment proving a fan was bigoted all along, when in fact the answer is right there: Yes, we were okay with it then because that show did it better. That show had the setup, development, internal consistency, and follow through that RWBY failed to produce, which is precisely what we were criticizing in the first place.

What I also think is worth emphasizing here is how many problems RWBY has developed over the last couple of years (combining with the problems it had at the start). Because, frankly, audiences are more forgiving of certain pitfalls when the rest of the show is succeeding. I think giving a Star Wars example exemplifies that rather well. No one is going to claim that Star Wars is without its problems (omg does it have problems lol), but there's enough good there in most individual stories to (usually) keep the fans engaged. That doesn't mean that they're not going to point out those criticisms when given the chance, just that disappointment isn't the primary feeling we come away with. Obviously in a franchise this size there are always exceptions (like the latest trilogy...), but for most it's a matter my recent response to The Bad Batch, "I have one major criticism surrounding a character's arc and its impact on the rest of the cast, and we definitely need to unpack the whitewashing... but on the whole yes, it was a very enjoyable, well written show that I would recommend to others." However, for many fans now, we can't say the same of RWBY. Yang getting KO'ed by Neo in a single hit leads into only Blake reacting to her "death" which reminds viewers of the lack of sisterly development between Yang and Ruby which segues into a subpar fight which messes with Cinder's already messy characterization which leads to Ruby randomly not using her silver eye to save herself which leaves Jaune to mercy kill Penny who already died once which gives Winter the powers when she could have just gotten it from the start which results in a favorite character dying after his badly written downfall and all of it ends with Jaune following our four woman team onto the magical island... and that's just two episodes. The mistakes snowball. RWBY's writing is broken in numerous ways and that's what fans keep pointing to. Any one of these examples isn't an unforgivable sin on its own, but the combination of all of them, continuously, representing years worth of ongoing issues results in that primary feeling of, "That was disappointing."

Looking at some of the more recent posts around here, fans aren't upset that Ruby is no longer interested in weaponry because that character trait is Oh So Important and its lack ruins the whole show, they're upset because Ruby, across the series, lacks character, so the removal of one trait is more of a problem than it would be in a better written character. What are her motivations? Why doesn't she seek answers to these important questions? Why is her special ability so inconsistent? Where's her development recently? What makes Ruby Ruby outside of wielding a scythe and wanting to help everyone, a very generic character trait for a young, innocent protagonist? We used to be able to say that part of her character was that obsession and we used to hope that this would lead to more interesting developments: Will Ruby fix/update their weapons? Is her scythe dependency the reason why others need to point out how her semblance can develop? What happens if she is weaponless? Surely that will lead to more than just a headbutt... but now we've lost hope that this trait will go anywhere, considering it has all but disappeared. Complaints like these are short-hand criticism for "Ruby's character as a whole needs an overhaul," which in turn is a larger criticism of the entire cast's iffy characterization (Who is Oscar outside Ozpin? Why was Weiss' arc with her father turned into a joke and concluded without her? etc.) and that investment speaks to wanting her to be better. We want Ruby to be a better character than she currently is, like all those other shows we've seen where the women shine. Reducing that to misogyny isn't just inaccurate, but the exact opposite of what most fans are going for in their criticisms.

[bamsywrites]

Mistakes Like These

Summary: Kakyoin never paid much attention to the younger Kujo. Who knew stockings and short skirt were all it would take change that

Rating: 18+, nsfw

Words: 4877

Warnings: cannabis mention, alcohol use

Tags: afab, fem pronouns, modern!au , doesn’t follow the canon like at all, very au, brother!jotaro x sister!reader, kakyoin x reader, soft dom kak, lots of pet names, plus size reader

Notes: I haven’t written any fanfiction in over five years so this might be rusty. I’m sorry for any mistakes made or if its not how the characters would act. I’m still new to the Jojos fandom but had this idea pop in my head and decided to get it out. I want to turn this in to a multi part story and have several parts already planned out, I just want to have feedback to see if people actually like it.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

A sigh escaped your lips as you read the most recent email in your student inbox. Patience may be a virtue, but it was sure one you didn’t possess. At least not right now anyway. Tsking your tongue against the roof of your mouth, you moved the mouse over to the refresh button and clicked. Your eyes followed the downloading icon in circles, fingers tapping anxiously over the desk.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

You exhaled angrily through your nose and leaned back in your chair. Your eyes fixed on the ceiling for a few moments before you looked over to your bed where your cat, Miso, had woken up from his nap.

“I know I should be more patient. But this grade is what determines if I move on to the next course which I need if I want to graduate soon and get out of this apartment.” You spoke as if your cat had scolded you for your impatience.

Your apartment was nice. Super nice. Your friends often described it as “apartment goals.” You could have never afforded it on your own. Hell, you couldn’t afford it even when you graduated and got a job. Two large bedrooms with a spacious living room, modern kitchen, and a balcony that overlooked the cities skyline. There were only two major downsides: there was only one bathroom which had to be shared with your roommate and your roommate happened to be your older brother, Jotaro.

Now, you didn’t exactly hate your brother. He was like any older brother, he thought you were extremely annoying and wanted nothing to do with you most of the time, though there were times growing up where he’d come home with scrapes and bruises after dealing with someone who picked on you at school. As you were both older, you found each other more bearable than you did when you were younger. That didn’t mean, however, you wanted to live with him. Especially while you were in college, which was supposed to be your time to let loose and have fun while still receiving an education, of course. Your grandfather, however, had other plans.

Joseph Joestar was a real estate mogul and had some serious money to his name. He loved to dote on his two grandchildren and was upset that for the most part your parents chose to give you a “normal” life without the extravagance that he offered. Birthdays and christmas he would buy you each a present, until Jotaro turned 15 and started asking for money instead. He made your mother an offer that he knew she couldn’t deny: he would pay for the entirety of your schooling, from associates degree to PhD if thats what you wanted, in order for the two of you to focus on your studies he’d also give you a weekly allowance so that you wouldn’t have to work, and he’d buy you each your own apartment and pay to furnish it how you liked. Holly couldn’t turn down the offer, what kind of mother would deny her children an opportunity like that? However, she did ask that her father only buy a single apartment for her children to share. Her hopes were that it would strengthen your relationship and it also meant she could see both her darling children whenever she desired.

You didn’t want to seem ungrateful at all for what Jiji had done for you. You knew you were extremely privileged to have the opportunities that he provided you but, fuck, sometimes you wished you had your own place. You wanted the independence, to know you earned something but also because sharing a bathroom with Jojo was infuriating. He always moved your stuff, never cleaned the shower, and he never had patience for you to get ready in the mornings. A wishful sigh left your lips as you thought of your future, with just you, Miso, and the ability to use the bathroom whenever you wanted.

Your eyes moved back to the computer screen, clicking refresh, and rolling your eyes when you read the same email from the dean again. Like you expected anything different, you just turned the term paper in yesterday. You brought your cup of tea up to your lips but furrowed your eyebrows when you realized there was none left.

Pushing yourself up out of your chair you formulated a plan for the rest of your evening. You would refill your cup of tea, hop back on your computer to play Overwatch with your friends until the early hours of the morning, and then cuddle up with Miso and look at TikToks until you fell asleep. It was foolproof. No way that you would even think about your term paper grade.

And if you did, you could always refresh your email in between matches.

-----------

Your finger tapped your lip as you looked over all the snack foods in the pantry. While waiting for your tea, you realized that the only thing that could make your plan better was a good snack. You had just gone shopping so it meant that all the poky, ramen, and chips you desired were on the shelves and it made the decision extra hard.

In the middle of your contemplation, you heard the front door turn and the sound of your brother and his friends entering the apartment.

“You know it's true, Jotaro. Your apartments bigger. Its nicer. It has that view that drives the ladies wild. Our apartment is cramped and it smells like weed.” Polnareff’s voice was the first you heard as the trio entered the house.

“Don’t forget the upstairs neighbors who are always playing loud polish music.” Kakyoin added, plopping down to sit on one of the chairs in the living room.

You heard your brother sigh and could feel his annoyance. You never understood how the trio became friends, it was a mystery to everyone including them but they had been together since their days in primary school and the bond they shared was one that intrigued you.

“Yes, yes. The polish,” Polnareff nodded. “Known around the world for their ability to ruin the mood with a hurdy-gurdy.”

There was silence, and you could tell your brother was not budging a bit. A party was not Jotaros thing. Kakyoin wasn’t a partier either, from what you gathered he’d much rather stay at home playing video games and smoking weed. Sucking your bottom lip in your mouth, you made your decision, grabbing a bag of chips and a box of strawberry pocky. You did your best to hold those in one hand and your cup of tea in the other.

“Feel that Christmas spirit, Jo. Help Pol in his never ending crusade to get laid. The poorman is gonna end this year with, what, a batting average of zero. He’ll be a disgrace to French men everywhere.” The teasing tone Kakyoins voice almost made you laugh.

“Hey! Batting average of 3. You know this,” Polnareff shot back, causing his roommate to throw his hands up in mock surrender.

“Jotaro,” The french man turned his attention back to your brother, who simply turned on the TV in what seemed to be an attempt to drown out the sound of his friend's voice, “C’mon. I’ll buy your cigarettes for a month…..Two months?” His voice was getting more desperate, his head turned toward you. A smile stretched across his features as he jumped off the couch and threw his arms around your shoulder.

God, you just wanted to go to your room.

“New deal,” Polernaff declared, squeezing you to the side of his body as you tried not to splash your tea all over the floor. Kakyoin looked away from the TV, eyebrow raised, Jotaros attention never faltered from the knock-off Viagra commercial. “If you agree to a Christmas Eve party I will buy you cigarettes for three months, I will never ask anything of you ever again, and I will stop flirting with your sister.”

Kakyoin snorted, shaking his head and turning his attention to Jotaro. Since you had moved in with Jotaro, the frenchman hadn’t stopped making comments about how beautiful he thought you were or just giving you flirty winks whenever you walked through the room. You found it annoying at first, but you quickly got over it when you realized he did the same thing with every girl, and boy, that he saw.

“Good grief,” Jotaro sighed. “Its a deal.”

------------------

“I can’t believe you agreed to this.” Kakyoin mumbled as he and Jotaro watched their friend place the final touches on the decorations and food for the party. Y/N had already put up Christmas decorations earlier that month, there was some snowmen set out on the dining table and a cute tree with some presents neatly wrapped under it. However, Polnareff had decided that wasn’t enough. He had hung up snowflakes to come down from the ceiling, there was garland hung on every wall, and so much fucking mistletoe.

Polnareff had even requested that his friends dress festive. Jotaro, of course, didn’t listen and wore what he always wore. Kakyoin decided to humor his friend and wore a Santa hat along with a dark green v-neck and dark wash jeans.

“You don’t need the money, right? Grandpa Joestar’s allowance has to be enough for cigarettes.” He continued, watching his roommate place a bowl of peppermints by the door.

“I just wanted to get him to shut up,” Jotaro said with a roll of his eyes.

“You think he’ll actually follow through on leaving Y/N alone?”

Jotaro shook his head, “Out of all the people in this city, you’d think he’d leave the only one of limits alone.”

Kakyoin simply nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

-----------

You smoothed your hands over your outfit, turning to the side to get it from a different angle. You couldn’t decide if you liked it or not. The sweater was cute, it was red with a deep green christmas tree that had colorful little puff balls as the ornaments. Your make-up and hair looked nice, too.  That wasn’t what concerned you. It was the white pleated skirt and tight red stockings that caused you pause. You grabbed at your love handles that spilled over the top of the skirt a bit and your eyes traveled to how your thighs looked in the stockings.

Polnareff had told you you could invite some friends over. Which, of course you could, this was your apartment and you didn’t need his permission. You had told him as such and invited over your three closest friends.

You turned around to your bed and looked at Miso, who was comfortably curled up. “How do I look?” You waited a moment before turning back to the mirror and smacking your lips together. You were tempted to take off the skirt and tights and throw a pair of jeans on but something changed your mind last minute. Instead of heading to your closet to change, you instead grabbed the reindeer antler hand band and slipped it on top of your hair before heading out of the safety of your bedroom.

You were so distracted with the new decorations that you didn’t notice the pair of eyes that were glued to your form.

------

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime was playing for what seemed like the fifth time. Kakyoin had never hated Paul McCartney more than he did now. He was just now starting to feel the buzz of all the drinks he had had but it didn’t make the party any more bearable.

“She,” Kakyoin pointed to a blonde girl in a Santa dress, “is gonna hook up with him,” He pointed to a dark haired main that had for some reason felt the need to take his shirt off.

Jotaro simply grunted before eyeing more of the members of the party. This was a game they’d been playing for the past hour and a half, making bets on who was gonna hook up with who and who was gonna get the most shit faced.

“He’s gonna end up passed out in my bathtub,” The dark haired man stated, pointing to the only person dancing to the playlist Polnareff had created.

Kakyoin broke a smile as he watched the clearly wasted man's horrible dance moves. His attention was brought away from the scene by the sound of Y/N’s laugh. For what had to be the millionth time that night, the red haired man eyed her up and down. That outfit looked so fucking good on her but the smile streched out across her lips looked even better.

I wonder what the lipstick would look like smeared on my cock.

The thought slipped into his head and he couldn’t stop from staring at the red painted on your lips.

Does she feel as soft as she looks?

He took a sip from his cup. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about his hands running over her thighs or his fingers digging into her hips. It was strange that he was having these thoughts. He’d never viewed Y/N as more than just Jotaro’s younger sister. He never thought she was ugly, in fact there were multiple times that he thought she was down right gorgeous but it had never turned sexual. Something about that outfit had sent him over that edge.

The sound of Last Christmas brought him out of his trance. Kakyoin almost immediately rolled his eyes. He almost missed the hurdy-gurdy.

“Good grief,” Jotaro mumbled and grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the coffee table. “I’m heading out for a smoke.”

Kakyoin watched as his best friend got up but instead of heading for the balcony, Jotaro went out the front door. The red haired man was tempted to follow but as soon as that thought popped into his mind he heard the drunk voice of his other best friend call to him.

“Kak, you gotta show these guys the cherry thing!”

---------

It was well past 3. The party had ended and most of the attendants took an Uber home. The only people in the apartment were you, Polnareff, and Kakyoin. Jotaro had still not returned from that smoke he said he was going to take hours ago. The buzz had long worn off and the reality sank in that you had to clean the disaster of an apartment that was left in the christmas party’s wake.

There were red solo cups strewn about various surfaces and all over the floor, glitter seemed to have gotten everywhere, there were plates of food left half eaten, and there was a candy cane just stuck to the wall. Looking at the destruction, you almost wondered if the fun you had had was worth it. With your parents coming over tomorrow...or, well, today…..for Christmas, you had really no other option than to clean it, with that thought in your head you grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning.

After a few minutes, you heard the familiar rustle of plastic as someone was opening a trash bag and you turned to see Kakyoin helping you with your task.

“Thanks,” You told him as you threw a plate of half eaten cake into the bag.

“No problem. Pol is passed out in the hallway and I gotta make sure Jo makes it home safe, so I’m kinda stuck here.”

You simply nodded in response and kept about your task in silence. A silence which seemingly bothered Kakyoin because a few minutes later he cleared his throat and broke the silence.

“So I, uh, noticed your man wasn’t here tonight.” He almost smacked himself for asking the question. You thought he was just making small talk, the thought of him having more devious reasons behind asking if you were single hadn’t crossed your mind.

“My….My man?” You quirked an eyebrow, looking back over your shoulder at him.

“Yeah, your man. I saw you with some guy a while back,” Kakyoin had put down the now full trash bag and was leaning against the counter top with his arms crossed as he spoke.

“Oh,” You suddenly realized who exactly he was talking about, “Yeah, um, we broke up six months ago,” You said with a laugh.

“Oh...Six months?” He titled his head to the side, “Are you sure? Hmm… Well, sorry I didn’t notice...I uh guess I should be more observant.

You shook your head, placing down your own bag and heading past him to the pantry to grab another. “Its alright, I’m not offended. I’m sure you find me as annoying as I find Jotaros friends.”

Kakyoin raised his eyebrows at your statement, “You find me annoying? I mean, Pol, I get. Yeah. He’s one of my closest friends and even I can’t handle him sometimes. But me? I never talk to you.”

You had busied yourself with cleaning the rest of the cups off the counter, “ I don’t know. You’re just…” You looked up and noticed his eyes quickly flick down to your lips before making eye contact with you again. “I mean, you did one time give me oregano and told me it was weed.”

“First,” Kakyoin started, his body shifted so it was turned toward you, “Thats not annoying. I would call that immature, maybe. But annoying? Nah. Second,” he threw up two fingers to emphasize his point, “ In my defense, you were 15 and I was worried about you finding our stash under Jo’s bed and I thought it would lessen that chance if I gave you your own stash.”

You laughed, setting the bag down and turning to look at him. You couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in that dark green shirt but you quickly willed that thought away.  “Kakyoin, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Hey, at the time it did.”

You tilted your head to the side, you had plenty of stories that you could use as proof that he was annoying, “ What about that time you and Jojo left me stranded at school because the new playstation came out?”

“Thats not fair,” He noticed the playful hint your voice was taking and it caused a small smile to tug at his lips.

“How about the time that you threw up in my make up bag?”

“Hey, that was all Frenchie. Not me.”

“Or…..” You were silenced by Kakyoin pressing a finger to your lips. You hadn’t noticed that the two of you had just kept moving closer and closer as you were talking. You could get a better look at him now, his eyes looked tired but there was a mischievous glint to them, proof to you that he found this just as amusing as you did.

“What about you, huh? You saying that you’ve never been annoying?” He cocked an eyebrow, giving you a knowing look that let you know he had as many stories about you that you had about him.

“Look, I never once implied that I wasn’t annoying. I’ll own up to it,” You shrugged, “I was a total brat.”

Kakyoin snorted, “Don’t act like you’re not still a brat.”

“How?!” You looked almost taken aback, “How am I still a brat? You hardly see me!”

Kakyoin loved banter and teasing with his friends, it was kind of his thing. It was how he showed affection. If he didn’t gently bully you how was he supposed to show that he cared? But this, this teasing between the two of you was different. It made the room seem hotter and his pants feel tighter. That coupled with how fucking cute you looked in that damn outfit, even if your make up had worn off a bit and the lipstick was smugged. He couldn't deny it was doing things to him.

“I see you now,” His voice was deep, his tongue sticking out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes trailed you up and down.

Your cheeks immediately turned a blushy pink and your skin was hot under his gaze. Your lips parted but no words came out. This was Jotaros best friend, there was no way he was flirting with you.

Kakyoin took a few steps forward so he was as close to you as he could be without touching you. “I see you now,” He repeated in the same low voice, this time keeping eye contact with you, “And I see a brat.”

He pushes a few strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a gasp hitching in your throat as his heated skin touched your check briefly, “Unless you’re gonna show me otherwise.”

“I…” You swallowed the lump in your throat, suddenly weak at his gaze. “H-how?”

You look into his eyes and you can see it. You can see how much he wants you and how intense that want is. No one has ever looked at you that way before and it made your stomach erupt in butterflies. Quickly, you turn your head away not being able to handle the intensity of his stare. You feel his fingers on your chin guiding you to look back up at him, holding you there so he can take in all the features of your face. Its like he’s looking at you for the first time. His fingers move gently from your chin down to your neck, your breathing hitched in your throat when you felt the soft pad of his thumb move across your lips.

“If you want me to stop, tell me sweetheart,” He’s eyes had gotten a few shades darker and his voice seemed more strained than usual. Kakyoins free hand traveled under the sweater your were wearing, fingers lightly dancing along your side as his other hand stayed on you face, gently tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb. “Tell me right now and I’ll go back to pitching solo cups and scrubbing counters.”

In the pit of your stomach you knew you shouldn’t. You knew that if Jojo ever found out he’d flip, he’d always done his best to keep you and his friends separate. You always thought it was because you annoyed him and he didn’t want to have to be around you more than you already were, Kakyoin knew that it was because no matter how the man acted, he deeply cared for you and would do anything to protect you. These thoughts of Jotaro’s reaction filtered through your mind but your brother wasn’t here right now.

You acted on impulse, your tongue peaking out of your mouth to coax Kakyoins thumb between your lips. He watched with heavy lidded eyes as you gently sucked on the digit, swiping your tongue along the length of it. His breathing picked up for a moment before mumbling a quiet, “Fuck.”

Almost instantly you were hoisted on the counter with his lips against yours and wasting no time to swipe his tongue into your mouth. His hands quickly traveled up your thighs, pushing your skirt to pool at your hips and quickly ripping the stockings down the middle. Your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him as close to you as possible as your fingers worked at undoing his belt.

He pulls away from your lips for a moment to help you pull down his boxers and jeans. You licked your lips as you admired his cock, already hard and glistening with precum. You felt his fingers on your face again directing you to look at him.

“My cock needs to be inside you, sweetheart. Can I do that?” He was breathing heavy, he had never wanted someone so much in his life. All he wanted right now was to feel your pussy around his cock. Consequences be damned. “Can I fuck you, princess?”

You whine when you hear him speak, his voice is like nothing you ever heard before. Lust and want seemed to be dripping off every word. The whole situation leaves you speechless. At the nod of your head, Kakyoin pulls your panties to the side and slides inside you. His moan and your whimper are the only noises in the quiet apartment, his eyes watching your face intently for any sign of discomfort or desire to stop.

“Fuck me,” You breath out when your vocie finally comes to you. “Please, Kakyoin. Fuck me.”

He groans and happily obliges, rocking his cock in and out of you. Your small gasps and whimpers only egg him on more as he increases the speed of this thrust, your hands bracing yourself against the countertop. His eyes break from your face to watch his own cock slide in and out, the sight of his cock slick with your wetness makes him moan.

“Thats a perfect fucking pussy, sweetheart.” He breaths out so soft you almost can’t hear him over the slick sound of his skin on yours. His eyes find yours again, hand moving back to rest on your jawline and hold you in his gaze. He leans close and sucks your lip into his mouth, his teeth nipping at the soft flesh before soothing it with his tongue.

“You’re such a good girl,” Kakyoin tells you before pressing his lips against yours again. He picks up the pace because, goddammit, he wants to feel you cum on his cock. He pulls aways, resting his forehead against yours. Your moans are soft and the whimpers that follow cause him to smirk.

“Oh, fuck. That feels so good,” You whisper, looking into his eyes. He can see you getting closer and closer and its making it hard for him to keep composed.

“You take a cock so well, princess,” His lips brush against yours, he tilts your head to the side so that he can kiss down your neck, and then back up again. His lips find the lobe of your ear and gently suck on it. Your moans are getting more and more erratic, every now and then you’ll gasp out his name.

“You gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock,” Kakyoin whispers into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of it. “Shit, sweetheart, I wanna feel that pretty fucking pusy come on my cock.”

It’s the sound of his voice whispering those dirty things in your ear that sends you over the edge.

“Thats it, princess. Fuck, sweetheart…I’m...shit. Can I….?” The red heads voice is ragged and incoherent but you knew what he was asking.

“Fuck, yes, please,” Its all you can do to get the words out. “Please, I wanna feel you come in me.”

You both come hard, his fingers digging roughly into the skin of your thighs and loud moans filling the space of the kitchen. The warmth of him spilling inside of you is enough to make you want a round two. After a few moments the two of you are left breathing heavy, his forehead resting on your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

You stay like that for a moment, trying to regain your composure and come to terms with everything that had just happened. This was a development in events that neither of you ever saw coming. Its you that make the move to separate, pushing against his chest and moving off the counter. You avoid eye contact with him, flating your skirt back down and picking up your, now ruined, stockings off the tiled floor. You could feel his cum drip out of you down to your thighs.

“That was….” Kakyoin broke the silence, buckling his belt and running a hand through his hair. You noticed he too was looking at anything but you.

“Yeah,” You nodded your head in response.

“You know we can’t uh…-”

“Yup.”

“Like, ever.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

“H-Happy...Happy Christmas.”

You just nod and quickly retreat to your room, throwing yourself on your bed and groaning into your pillows. After a moment, you crawled under the blankets and pulled your cat into your chest.

“Miso. I think I’m a slut….”

--------

Kakyoin watched as you retreated away down the hallway, his mind still wrapping around what had happened. The fact that he was the one that instigated it. He was the one that made all the moves and god, he shouldn’t have. But he had wanted to. He had wanted to get you in that position all night.

It was at that moment that Jotaro entered the apartment again, smelling of cigarettes and….perfume? Kakyoin was gonna have to ask him about that one later. “

“The prodigal son has returned,” The redhead teased his friend, doing his best to hide the guilt he had for what he had just done.

“Shut up,” Jotaro mumbled. He eyed his friend curiously, he was very observant and it was very naive of Kakyoin to think that he wouldn’t notice the change in his friend. “What’s wrong with you?”

I just busted a big one in your sister. And would probably do it again if the chance presented itself. No biggie.

“I’m, uh, I’m just tired.”

-----------

Thank you so much for reading this! I appreciate it very much. Let me know what you think of it and if I should continue the story. Merry Christmas!

[whatifxwereyou]

Firestorm Part 12: Chongqing

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021 Liu Kang x Reader

And now for an interlude where you go shopping with Chen and Lao. It goes just about exactly as you expect until Lao becomes serious Lao. You needed this.

A/N: longer chapter but had a blast writing it! enjoy, friendos.

Start From the Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

Chongqing was overwhelmingly loud and bustling. Your trio couldn’t have stood out more amongst the crowds of the busy shopping district. Kung Lao with his hat and tunic, Chen in her simple robes, you dressed like a vampire. Black had become your new favorite wardrobe color. The ink didn’t stain it quite as badly.

The perpetual lump in your throat was going to drive you completely mad. You’d never felt this kind of anxiety before. In fact, you had been used to being the butt of every joke in your hometown. Wherever you went people would stare. But you’d never actually put any of them in danger before. This was different.

It felt like you were wrapped tight in explosives and had to pretend you were normal while walking through a busy street. No one noticed you was explosive. Kung Lao seemed pleased to be out and about with you in the world. Chen stood next to him, scowling at Kung Lao for whatever reason. You had enough to deal with without trying to understand what Chen was mad about. Chen grabbed your wrist and checked your pulse. You sighed heavily and looked away. She’d done that twice since you’d left.

“It’s not going to get any slower.” You whispered and Chen looked to you disapprovingly, then wrote something down in her little book. “We really don’t have to do this.” This was about the seventieth time you’d said that this morning. Kung Lao had insisted you run your errand. “It’s a stupid little errand and it seems silly.”

“We’re already here, Y/N. Don’t stress so much.”

“Yeah, but we’re going to Andong soon and I can get what I need there. Really. There’s way too many people here.” The dangerous scenarios that repeated in your head were wild. Chen then stepped back and Kung Lao smiled brightly at you. He was confident as ever for a man who you’d maimed just the other day.

“It’s just a few hours, Y/N. Just the two of us.” He rested his hand gently on your shoulder. Chen cleared her throat behind you and Kung Lao’s smile fell. “And her I guess.”

“As rude as ever, Kung Lao.”

“That’s Master Kung Lao and if I didn’t have to bring someone who could handle Y/N’s health issues if they creep up then I wouldn’t have.”

“Well, you had to. Sorry to break up your romantic day out, Master Kung Lao.” Chen bowed but the sneer on her face was priceless.

“Romantic? No, no, no.” You thought this couldn’t be further from romantic. A trip to the biggest city in China to get birth control was more like a bad dream. At least right now. Maybe it was a little funny but only if everyone came out of it unscathed.

“Where to first?” Kung Lao looped his arm in yours and guided you down the road slowly. With a heavy sigh you gestured down the street.

“Anywhere. Even a drugstore would do.”

“What could you possibly need from a drugstore that we don’t have at the Temple?” Chen had volumes to say on the matter but was being on her best behavior.

“I’m sure Y/N has her reasons.” Kung Lao defended you and then leaned closer to whisper. “…but what do you need?”

“It is no one’s business.”

“Wow, defensive.” Kung Lao grinned. Chen pointed at him and nodded to agree.

“Lady stuff. Okay?” An easy answer to make Kung Lao stop asking you questions.

“Oh.” Both Chen and Kung Lao seemed disappointed that it wasn’t something more exciting.

“It was bound to come up eventually.” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously. You were grateful that Chen didn’t seem nearly as bold in front of Kung Lao.

“This is suddenly a much less exciting trip.”

“What did you think I needed to buy, Lao?”

“Clothes? Lady… things?” He looked you over from head to toe and your jaw dropped. You stopped your walk and pulled your arm away from his, resting your hands on your hips. Chen was trying very hard not to laugh, face turned away but beat red with effort.

“Are you implying that you thought I had invited you to come shopping for lingerie with me?” You gestured to yourself. Chen was now failing at her task of not laughing. She was open mouth wheezing, bent over with one hand on her knee.

“I feel like that’s something I would excel at.”

“I think that you would be the exact opposite of helpful.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous, Y/N.” Kung Lao grinned, delighted that he’d managed to turn your face red. Chen was practically crying tears of happiness.

“And just what would you do if I took you into a lingerie store, hmm? I’m calling your bluff.” You tapped your foot expectantly and Kung Lao stiffened up. If he wanted to tease you then you would tease him right back, Chen be damned. He stuttered, ran his tongue over his teeth, but then grinned and pointed a finger at you with no words to back it up. “That’s what I thought.”

“If that’s a challenge Y/N, then you’re on.”

“Are you sure? Tall man, already standing out like a sore thumb with that hat, towering above a store full of women shopping for lacy underthings? Really sure you want to do that?”

“I uh…”

“Because it will be awkward. Not the fun, sexy thing that you think it’s going to be.” You were winning and rather happy about it.

“I can’t breathe, you two have to stop.” Chen was coughing with laughter. You patted her on the back.

“At least someone thinks we’re funny.”

“Not for the reasons you’re thinking.” You muttered and then gave Chen another smack on the back and then cleared your throat. Chen wiped her eyes. “I do need clothes but it’s not urgent. And I’m not underwear shopping with you, Kung Lao. No offense.”

“We’re here so you should get what you need while we are. I’ll just be the creep standing outside the store.” Kung Lao slipped his arm around yours again and then led you further down the street, eyeing the shops. You had to dart between people as you walked and being in this big of a crowd made you visibly uncomfortable.

“We should get this over with quickly.” You didn’t mean to sound like you didn’t want to spend time with him. You were uncomfortable but only partially because you were out with Kung Lao and Chen.

“Come on, Y/N. Relax a little.”

“It’s dangerous to be around this many people.” There was no point in dancing around the truth. They didn’t seem to take you seriously. How many times had you wounded Kung Lao and Liu Kang? These were men that you cared about deeply. Unusually tough men with magic powers. Imagine what kind of damage you would do to Chen if you lost it. And the ten people who had just walked past you! You shivered at the thought. Chen patted your shoulder comfortingly then drifted behind you and Kung Lao as if to try and alleviate your worry.

“Try not to think about it.”

“Really? I… let’s just get it over with.” You laughed in disbelief. You wouldn’t ruin their mood just because you were nervous of what could be. Kung Lao led you into the massive store on the corner. It was a towering building. Just inside there was a sign along the wall listing each level and what was sold on them. This floor was convenience. The floors above were separated like a department store.

You pulled your arm free of Kung Lao’s and meandered through the aisles. There was a pharmacy at the far end. Yes, your target. You stopped in the middle of the aisle and frowned. You didn’t have a prescription. Damnit. What had you been thinking? None of this was working out the way you’d wanted it to. It was comically bad! You laughed at yourself and Kung Lao furrowed his brow next to you.

“What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Yeah. It just struck me how weird it is to be shopping with you like life is normal.”

“I do it all the time.”

“Does it ever stop being weird?” You had been lying and Kung Lao hadn’t noticed. Score one for you.

“People stared and pointed at you all the time when we were kids. I can’t imagine that changed much after I left. You can’t possibly feel weird about it now.”

“Well, there’s a man standing next to me with a big weapon-y hat and… we stand out in a different way. Plus I’m dangerous.” You nudged him. Kung Lao grinned.

“I’m happy to stand out next to you.”

“You’re so corny.” You pointed to the next aisle. “Lady things. My mission. You coming?” You dared him.

“Ugh, no. I’m going to go look at literally anything else. Ruining all my fun…” Kung Lao teased, patting your shoulder before walking in the opposite direction. Good. Chen was nowhere to be found. She’d probably been distracted by something or another. Good. She’d needed to get out too. With a sigh of relief, you made your way to the pharmacy counter instead of the next aisle. The woman behind it looked so tired that you thought maybe she was a prisoner there.

“Picking up?”

“Actually… and I know this is going to come across at stupid but… I’m from out of town and I’ve forgotten my birth control.” You lied. You sounded like you were lying. It was so terrible. You were the worst! You’d used all your lying skills up for the day. Thankfully, the pharmacist seemed so tired that she either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I know that usually I can’t get it without a prescription but I was hoping there was something I could pay for outright over the counter, maybe?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The only thing I have over the counter is for the morning after.” She was surprisingly sympathetic for someone who was most definitely not paid enough. “I can call your doctor’s office and see if they’ll fax over a prescription if you like.” That was helpful except that you were supposed to be dead so that didn’t work out.

“No, no. I don’t have a primary care doctor here and…”

“Oh, I can call just about anywhere.”

“That’s nice, um… no, it’s okay. Thank you though. I’ll take some of the morning after stuff if you have it.” You sighed heavily. It was better than nothing. You tried to figure out a way to sneak into a doctor that day but it didn’t seem possible without completely abandoning Chen and Kung Lao. Maybe you would be able to do it later with Liu. Ugh, you didn’t want to wait that long. Your face flushed just thinking about it. You couldn’t wait to share this story with Liu later. It was hilarious. You paid for the medication which you asked to be double bagged. When you turned around, you found Chen standing behind you, hands on her hips, a smile on her face.

“I knew it.”

“You knew what?” You tried to play it cool but your face had immediately turned red and betrayed you. Chen tapped the bag and the burning in your cheeks intensified. “What? My hormones are being whacky.”

“Bull. You’re a terrible liar. I knew something was up. You are trying to be prepared before sleeping with one of those boys. Or both if you’re smart. Trying not to get pregnant, right?” Chen pointed an accusatory finger at you but her eyes were sparkling with joy. The woman behind the counter was now watching you with delight.

“Shush! Quiet!” You grabbed Chen’s arm and pulled her further from the pharmacy counter. “Please.”

“If you don’t tell me I’ll get louder. Kung Lao isn’t that far away, you know.”

“Fucking fine, you are mean, Kung Lao was right.”

“I love when you curse.”

“You are the worst…”

“Yeah, I know, the worst monk.” Chen brushed off the insult. “Tell me! It’s been ages since I’ve had anything juicy.”

“Fine. Yeah, I wanted to try and get some birth control. But I’m a moron for… numerous reasons. I forgot that I needed a prescription. So this whole embarrassing and stressful trip was next to pointless.”

“You should have told me, Y/N. I work in the infirmary. You’re not the only girl in the temple who needs birth control. Some of the hormones in there are crazy. I’ll get you some when we get back.”

“…well, now I feel bad. That was nice.”

“If you didn’t buy birth control then what did you buy?” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously then in a flash snatched the bag from your hands before it could be pulled to safety. She stepped back toward the pharmacy counter out of your reach and then looked into the bag. “Y/N! You dirty girl!” She grinned. You yanked the bag back from her. “You slept with one of them and didn’t tell me?” Your face was so red you thought you might explode. There were no words, just embarrassment. You weren’t the one who was a gossip, this should not have been surprising. “By the way? You should buy some tampons to cover your tracks. I keep those in the temple too, by the way. You really should have just saved yourself the trouble and just talked to me.” You felt more and more like a moron. You deserved this. Your shaming had been earned. “Did you have unprotected sex with one of them? Here I was thinking that you were never gonna spread your legs and…”

“Wow, wow… okay shush… this is a rollercoaster and I need off.”

“You didn’t have to make this trip. All you had to do was talk to me.”

“Yeah, so you can have your weird vicarious fantasy.”

“Obviously.”

“And you’d help with the Plan B, huh?”

“Maybe. Did you sleep with Kung Lao? Bareback? Really? You want to breed with that?” Chen seemed to be considering if this were a viable option and you wanted to bash your head repeatedly into the wall until you were unconscious to escape this embarrassment. “I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing but you…”

“No! No I did not.” You were practically squealing.

“Oh.” Chen grinned from ear to ear and your face dropped. “So it was Liu Kang then.” Your face was so hot you were practically suffocating. It was not nearly as fun as the kind of suffocation being with Liu Kang had provided. The woman behind the counter was listening to you with rapt attention but pretended to go back to work when she realized she was caught.

“You have got to be quieter.” You walked away from Chen, down the aisle, grabbed a box of tampons then paid for it at the pharmacy counter. Then you shoved it deep in your bag. Chen was grinning so wide that you thought she looked deranged. Before you could say anything further on the matter Kung Lao joined you from the other end of the aisle.

“Oh, good. You look done. I was bored.” He looked you over and narrowed his eyes. “Your face is red.”

“Uh… hot in here, right?” You fanned yourself and Chen snorted with laughter. This had to have been Chen’s dream come true, short of walking in on you with one of them.

“…that woman is staring at me.” Kung Lao whispered, stepping closer to you, and nodding toward the pharmacist.

“It’s the hat, I’m sure. Didn’t notice.” Every word was a struggle to say without bursting into laughter. You then grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the pharmacy counter. He slowed you down, pulled his hand free, and then slipped his arm around your waist lazily.

“I was thinking that we could grab something to eat if you’re up for it. I’m hungry.” Thankfully Kung Lao hadn’t needed any answers. Chen joined you, walking on the other side of you. “There’s a pretty good sushi place around here if I remember correctly.”

“Do you think it’s responsible for me to sit in a restaurant?” You were in disbelief but at least your face was finally cooling down.

“You’re still allowed to live, Y/N.” Kung Lao’s grin finally fell.

“Yeah, live a little.” Chen added. You could practically see the devil horns sprouting on her head.

“You guys don’t… get it.” You pulled away from Kung Lao and stopped your walk, turning to face them.

“I really don’t.” Kung Lao pouted and then mouthed that he was hungry. For sushi.

“Look at yourself, Kung Lao.” You gestured to him. “You’re bruised to hell.”

“Bloodied too.” Kung Lao seemed proud of it.

“Wouldn’t know. He never comes to the infirmary unless he’s dragged there. Even then, he’s the worst.”

“I’m only the worst because you’re so mean.”

“Is that reason? Because if that were the reason then it would only be me dreading you visiting the infirmary.”

“I’m… going upstairs to buy some clothes. You can keep bickering and I’ll think about food.” You turned away and walked to the stairwell around the corner. You breathed a sigh of relief to be away from people and then fanned your still red face. Only seconds later, Chen and Kung Lao joined you. They were still bickering. The permanent look of disgust on Kung Lao’s face as they argued about his health was hilarious.

Let them argue. You walked up to the next floor and found it was women’s clothing. You searched the rack for some staples. Now that you thought about it, you really did want to buy some lingerie but you couldn’t dream of doing that with those two breathing down your neck. Instead, you focused on staples. You found a few things to sleep in, more pants, cute black shirts. Black was your new aesthetic, apparently. You couldn’t help but think that you were beginning to dress like the witch that everyone in your hometown had accused you of being. It was a little comical.

Kung Lao stood next to you and Chen disappeared in the stacks. You were trying not to laugh at how annoyed he looked. He shoved his hands into his pockets and then peered over your shoulder, purposely trying to catch your gaze and distract you.

“Yes?” You turned toward him.

“None of this is lingerie. Boring.”

“Wow, so funny.” You rolled your eyes but smiled. You gave him a hard time but it really was fun to be out and about with him. He made you laugh. This experience was stressful for too many reasons but he managed to make it a little less nerve racking.

“I’m sorry for being a dick about this.” Kung Lao rocked on the balls of his feet, avoiding your eyes. “I know that you’re afraid of hurting people. I’m just… used to deflecting everything with humor. Tried to ease the tension and made it worse. And your friend being here isn’t making it easier. I swear she has it out for me.”

“She does seem to.” You smiled sympathetically. Now that you thought about it, Chen had tried to tell you something a few days ago. It felt like a lifetime since then. Maybe her attitude had something to do with that.

“I was kind of hoping that we could find some alone time. I could sneak you into a movie.” That sweet smile was back and you had to avert your eyes. It was a cute idea but it also made your stomach drop.

“That’s probably not safe unless we’re the only ones in the theater.” The weight of your truth made your knees buckle. “Maybe after we figure this out.”

“I figured that’s what you’d say.” It was Kung Lao’s turn to look disappointed. “Maybe Liu is right to worry about you.” He slipped his arm around you again. “It’s going to be okay, Y/N.” Was it though? They really didn’t get it.

“I could explode with ink right now and you would be impaled.” You placed the clothing you’d picked up back on the shelf. Shopping didn’t seem so important anymore. Kung Lao cocked an eyebrow in surprise. “Those women walking behind us? Dead. The damage I’d do to the store and the employees would be irreparable. You’d be incapacitated if not dead. Who knows who else I’d hurt? I’d never forgive myself, Kung Lao. I don’t think anyone has really thought through the danger that I truly pose. Raiden seems to be the only one who gets it.” You didn’t like having this conversation with anyone, especially Kung Lao.

“Y/N… I…”

“Chen’s so busy teasing me about you and Liu that she forgets how dangerous this is. You… it’s sweet. You’re so confident that we’re going to figure this out and that we can handle whatever happens but one wrong move? And you’re dead.” You knew it was harsh to talk like that but you thought about it constantly. “You were confident about it in the arena too and look what happened, I…” You were upset and you didn’t want to be upset.

“Hey, hey…” Kung Lao placed his hand on your cheek to stop you from going on. Brow furrowed he pushed your hair away from your face. “Take a breath.” You did. It helped a little. He urged his hands to your shoulders and then down your arms. “I know all of that. I really do. I don’t mean to be dismissive… but I can’t help but think you have to take the risks. You can’t just hide away forever.”

“Am I hidden, Kung Lao? We are in… arguably the biggest city in the world. I’m here. Just… cut me some slack for being nervous. This is a new anxiety for me and I am learning to deal with it.”

“I don’t want you to stop living because of this. I want to make sure you still have fun.”

“I’m not worried about that! I’m not worried about having fun…” What did that have to do with anything?

“I know. And that worries me.” Kung Lao seemed exasperated. “This is so much stress and it’s going to eat you alive. Come on. Come with me.” He took your hand and started through the aisles.

“I’m shopping, Kung Lao.”

“It can wait.” He led you through the store and to the elevators. Pulling you inside, he pressed the button for the top floor. Your heart was suddenly racing. Kung Lao had been flirting on and off all day but this was different. You and Liu hadn’t drawn any lines in the sand about what you were but you knew she wanted to be with him. Don’t overthink it. That was all you had to do.

The elevator dinged and you walked onto the top floor that was filled with various appliances. Lao led you into the stairwell and you climbed the last staircase that led onto the roof. He pushed open the door and then walked with you to the edge of the building. A railing had been installed to keep people safe and there was a garden in dire need of watering. From there you could see much of the city. The air wasn’t exactly clear that day but it was still breathtaking. You hadn’t seen that much life in a long time. You leaned against the railing and watched the world below as it passed by. The wind howled that high up and whipped hair around.

“Everyone’s afraid of something. Every single one of those people down there.” Kung Lao had his arms folded on the railing, chin resting against them next to you.

“That’s true. But not everyone could kill the people they care about with the things that frighten them.”

“Maybe some can. Who are we to say?” He joked but then leaned up from where he’d rested his chin. “Y/N?”

“What, Lao?”

“I’ve been thinking and…” He hesitated but leaned one arm on the railing as he turned to face you.

“What is it?” You turned but felt your heart instantly leap into your throat. He took a step closer and towered over you. Panic. Sudden panic. Your first instinct was to stop him and tell him about Liu but nothing came out. The idea of hurting him was crippling. Part of you loved Kung Lao. You’d always loved him. You’d had a love affair without having ever been together. But this was different. He pushed your hair away from your face again, hand brushing gently down your cheek and then beneath your chin.

“You’re really special. You know that, right?”

That hadn’t been what you’d expected. What did he mean? And why?

“I’m sure that you feel as cursed as I tease you about being but… you’re special. Not everyone could handle the weight of what you’re dealing with. And not everyone would be responsible with it. Most people wouldn’t be, I think.” Kung Lao smiled. “Think of the kind of villain you could be. If you were to side with Outworld with this… insane power you have? The destruction that you’d be capable of… look, I’m not trying to convince you to do crimes, I’m just trying to say that you’re special. And you should know that.”

“Lao, I…” You furrowed your brow because through this whole thing you hadn’t thought of yourself as capable or special. But there Kung Lao was, rearranging everything in your head. How had he seen it but you hadn’t? Maybe you’d been given this gift and this curse for a reason. Maybe it was because you could handle it when others wouldn’t have been able to. His thumb brushed against your chin and then traced up your jaw. Okay, now he was going to try and kiss you. The mood was right but you kept thinking about Liu Kang and how deeply you’d fallen for him.

Then the door opened behind you.

Chen.

“Did you two really abandon me to have a romantic moment on the roof? Leaving me wandering the store in search of you for an hour?” She huffed and puffed but had several bags on her arm. She had enjoyed shopping at least. “I said to myself, I bet they’re on the roof. Having a romantic moment. Just had to sneak away. And here you are. Having a romantic moment. As predicted. Unbelievable.”

You took a step back and wiped your face, embarrassed. Kung Lao pulled off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, and then replaced it again.

“Sorry. I got in my head. Needed to breathe.” Your face was red again.

“Sure, breathing is what that was.”

“I’m not sorry. Wish you’d been lost looking for us for a few more minutes.” Kung Lao sounded arrogant even as he slipped his arm around your shoulder and led you back toward the stairwell.

“Not at all surprising!” Chen called after you before joining you.

“Stop arguing. You’re making my head hurt.”

“But Y/N…”

“If you stop arguing, I will agree to get sushi.”

Chen and Kung Lao exchanged a glance and came to a silent agreement with a nod.

[rainbow--skies]

I honestly hate the notion of “if you’re not x don’t write about x experiences” for so so many reasons, I know there’s posts about this floating around here already but I keep seeing it a lot lately, in content of my own fandoms, other fandoms that I see either through researching fandom drama and history or the interests of my friends and mutuals, and just general writing advice, and wanted to talk about it. Before I begin I want to say I write this from the lense of a young queer, mixed (white and Hispanic/Latinx) able-bodied and neurotypical cis woman (and while I am questioning that right now it’s not relevant to what I’m saying here), so other people from different walks of life, or even people similar to me in these regards, may have different opinions or (at least mostly) agree but want to respond with some more of their own thoughts and experiences, and that’s totally fine and I encourage you to do so if you want.

Firstly, what “experiences” pertains to is vague in general. Most people would agree that it at least pertains to the negative stuff such as discrimination however, so that’s what I’ll be discussing, given that it’s still flawed logic. This may be controversial or whatever, but in most if not all cases, there is no one experience or set of experiences faced by any certain group, because different people’s own life experiences differ given that they are just that, different people. Two queer people might have vastly different experiences with queerphobia, even if they have the same identity, two POC may have different experiences with racism even if they are of the same race, two disabled people may have vastly different experiences with ableism even if they have the same disability, and this just goes on and on with more examples. Additionally, sometimes assigning a certain experience to a certain group leaves out people who can also experience that thing. For example, if I were to say only women struggle with misogyny, I would be fundamentally incorrect, as many trans men and non-binary people have their own unique experiences with misogyny as well.

Yet another issue is the fact that some people may intentionally not be revealing certain aspects of their identity, especially over the internet, and bullying them because you don’t think they qualify to write about things that they have literally experienced is absolutely horrifying and becoming way too commonplace. How many times have we seen people bullied into coming out especially over things like this now? It’s not even a queer-exclusive thing either, given that especially over the internet it is possible for some people to hide their gender, status as disabled, status as a POC, religion, or other features. On the flip side of this, it’s also just as easy to pretend to be things you’re not on the internet too, meaning people can just as easily fake it to avoid backlash, which is also a huge issue, and it’s already been proven due to other issues and scandals that people are unfortunately absolutely willing to go there.

Another thing I want to talk about is the fact that it’s also fairly easy to represent other cultures and experiences if you just put in the proper research and talk to people on those communities. Things like sensitivity readers, pieces of media that can act as primary sources, and so on exist for a reason, and talking to someone, better yet multiple people, from the community who’s experiences you’re trying to accurately write about, as long as they’re willing to talk to you about it is also a great way to do your research. It is true that no one can truly fully understand an experience as much as someone who’s experienced it, but you can at least get enough knowledge to be respectful.

I tend to see these types of sentiments even more intensely in queer communities for some strange reason. I’ve seen everything from “straight people shouldn’t write about homophobia” to “x is a LESBIAN-ONLY experience and you shouldn’t apply it to your experiences or talk about it if you’re not a lesbian”, as well same with some other identities, and even “straight people shouldn’t ship queer ships and doing so is inherently fetishization” (Yes, this is unfortunately something someone actually said to me once. I don’t know whether the fact that they are also queer makes it better or worse.) Overall these concepts just drive a wedge between queer people and our allies, and even between different parts of the queer community, and are also harmful for all the reasons I’ve already mentioned, so I wanted to give them a special mention.

In conclusion, statements such as “only write about x experiences if you’re x” are actively doing more harm than good, and while I am not interested in having discourse that goes nowhere over this, please feel free to add on no matter who you are!

[davidmann95]

Powers of X #1, aka Hickman's Attempt to Get You to Care about X-Men #2

Anonymous said: For your money, which was the better first issue: HoX or PoX?

Anonymous said: PoX thoughts? It’s a lot more of a normal X-Men issue than HoX.

My critical thoughts on Powers of X #1 are actually relatively minimal: this is still incredibly good and just as important a thesis statement of the scope being tackled here as House of X #1 was, though on the whole what that was presenting was more up my alley; Silva proves as much a powerhouse as Larraz, and while I enjoy Lenil Yu’s work I’m honestly not confident him being the regular artist on the main X-Men book after this won’t induce a painful case of visual whiplash; I really need to catch up on East of West.

Okay, now for what we really all care about, RANDOM OBSERVATIONS AND SPECULATIVE BULLSHIT:

* Charles was definitely at that circus looking for mutants among the freakshow, right?

* Major echoes of the, well, echoes through time in New X-Men with Percival’s demise. And the handling and framing of Cardinal makes me very curious if and how Hickman’s going to use Nightcrawler proper.

* I know juuuuuust enough about X-Men continuity bullshit to recognize the significance of certain recurring imagery and ideas, such as the Hounds in a dystopian mutant future, but since I’m thankfully divorced from all that for the most part I can skip past any “another bad future?” burnout and appreciate that this time it’s actually a good one.

* Right here at the beginning: the traditional X-Men narrative cycle is going to be the death of them all.

* The Sinister breeding pits begin after the fall of the existing mutant leadership, but that sure seems to reflect what was going on in the first two HOX pages. Perhaps there was an unofficial generation zero? Or, for that matter…how sure are we, exactly, that the first two pages of HOX in fact occur prior to the rest of the issue?

* It’s a stroke of cruel genius on Hickman’s part that the title of this directly homages the big twist of the Weapon X program, when the plot is largely about future generations of living mutant weapons this time created BY mutants. Of COURSE there’s a Wolverine’s DNA is in the mix even if her powers aren’t visibly manifested.

* Does the Man-Machine Supremacy only pursue the 8 remaining Sol System mutants, or are they also targeting the Shi’Ar population? If it’s the former, why are they clearly still a priority target?

* The hierarchy between Nimrod and Omega seems ambiguous, to say the least. And Nimrod’s immediate real-world fandom is both utterly understandable and absolutely fucking horrifying.

* I hadn’t known that a version of Nimrod was a preexisting part of the franchise, but Silva’s design here is absolutely killer.

* I don’t know whether “for one of mine to flourish, many of yours must perish” is deliberately referencing this, but given mutant birthrates were supposed to reach a critical mass within 20 years and this is 80 after that, but humankind (albeit having apparently willingly given up any meaningful actual humanity in merging with the Sentinels to maintain dominance) still makes up all but 8 of the humanoid population of the Sol System? That line absolutely reads to me as, at best, the X-Gene being screened for and either somehow removed in utero or the pregnancies being terminated, but more likely - given A. The phrasing, and B. Hickman being mean as shit - a whole lot of dead mutant babies.

* Is SalCen meant to spark recognition among aficionados? Is it a mashup of real-world locations? Or is it a new term, and if so will it have any meaning?

* It feels notable to me that the Shi’Ar have split up the remains of mutantkind rather than letting them remain together at their full number of approximately 10000, since I recall that’s a number occasionally cited as the minimum viable population for humanity. Are they subtly trying to make sure they can’t repopulate? That one of the primary concerns of a minimum viable population is the lowering of genetic diversity particularly leaps out, given the remaining generation of at least semi-Earthbound mutants seem to have been engineered specifically to repeat the mutations of the past.

* As I’ve seen noted elsewhere, Asteroid K appears to be where Franklin Richards was hanging out in Hickman’s Avengers #32 five thousand years further down the road.

* Are we meant to be sure whether it’s Homo Sapiens or Homo Superior being kept in The Preserve at the end?

EDIT: secretlyasummers said: SalCen = “Salem Center.” The town where the Xavier School is.

Thanks!

[nefertittythegreat]

When We Once Were There

Years after their lives sent them apart Adrien and Marinette meet once again this time as the parents to two little girls.

I’ve been in love with fics like this lately for every fandom and I felt the Miraculous Fandom could use one more. So here’s my Single Parent AU!

AO3[x] Chapter 2[x]

Marinette found herself checking her watch over and over again during this meeting. She was careful to appear to pay attention to what the man was saying in front of the room, but she already knew what this was about. Blah, blah blah budget, blah blah blah brand integrity Blah Blah Blah Press conference. If she didn’t know any better she would have thought her boss sent her here as some cruel joke, but it was widely known that Gabriel Agreste didn’t have a sense of humor. She had already given her presentation on what was going to be the main theme from this year’s Spring line, with the prices on fabrics needed, but it seemed they needed her to stay for a portion that had nothing to do with her job. She longed to be back in her office, or at least wish she brought her sketchbook, but last time Nathalie had lightly scolded her. Still, Marinette couldn’t help but feel her mind wander, and wondered if she was the only one.  However it wasn’t just boredom plaguing her, Marinette had somewhere she needed to be.

“I think we get the point, Monsieur,” Nathalie said standing, signaling an end to the meeting. Marinette threw the woman a grateful look, and though Nathalie caught it she didn’t respond. “I’ll be sure to get all of these reports to Mr. Agreste. Though I can already say everything looks satisfactory. Let’s continue to make good of the Gabriel name, shall we? Good day.” At her words, everyone stood up and began filing out of the conference room. Marinette picked up her handbag, a Gabriel of course. and began to leave.

“Marinette,” Nathalie called causing Marinette to stop just short of the door. “Great work today, Mr. Agreste will be pleased.” Marinette fought a blush and thanked the woman. She was young, very young to be working this far up in the company, but Gabriel himself had kind of taken her under his wing. Marinette was grateful he did that, even considering her situation. “Mr. Agreste wants to know if you’ll be needing to leave work a little earlier with school in session now. He heard that Madam Paulette was giving you some trouble in regards to that.” The blush Marinette was fighting back with a vengeance as she felt her face turn crimson.

“No, no, no!” She exclaimed hoping not to cause any trouble. “We were able to work it out. I understand the kind of position I’m putting everyone through, even with my daughter I have to continue to pull your weight.” Marinette replied Nathalie’s expression, of course, did not change.

“Of course. As you know Mr. Agreste hired you knowing your situation at home and as someone who was a single parent himself, he does not want you to feel discriminated against at work and wants to be able to work with you around your daughter. Please if you have any more problems with Madame Paulette don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll be able to straighten it out.” Nathalie responded before leaving the room. Marinette sighed. It was no secret Gabriel had taken an interest in her, and she hoped his apparent favoritism hadn’t caused anyone problems.

Marinette checked her watch one more time and heaved a sigh of relief. She should still make it on time to pick up Emma if she left now, Walking out of the room Marinette saw the Elevator filling with people. It would be a while before it was back and Marinette really needed to get to her car. “ Wait please!” She called out and began to run toward the elevator when she ran face first into something hard that sent her crashing into the ground. Dazed Marinette placed a hand to her now pounding head confused as to what just happened.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Miss.” A masculine voice said to her, causing Marinette to curse her luck and her lack of coordination. “Let me help you up.” At least he was nice about it. Most men in this building would have berated her for running into them, Marinette grabbed his hand and he quickly helped her up

“Thank you so much-“ She went to thank him when she finally got a good look at the man she probably almost maimed. His hair was shorter then she had ever seen it, but she could recognize those green eyes anywhere, Adrien Agreste.

“Marinette?” He asked. Green eyes sparkling with joy. She was surprised he remembered her. They hadn’t seen each other since they graduated Lycée. She remembered he went off to model in America while she stayed and went to University. He never came back. Instead, he moved to Japan and got married.

“ Adrien! It’s uh... Good to see you again!” She said willing herself to do what she was never able to in Lycée, Hold a decent conversation with him.

“Yeah, it’s been years.” He laughed. “I didn’t know you worked for Gabriel. though I guess it does make sense. My father always did think you were very talented.” He said. Marinette blushed at the compliment. He hadn’t changed in all these years. Still the sweet boy she remembers.

“Yes, Mr. Agreste has been very kind to me the past few years. Are you here to see your father?” Marinette asked. She figured he was visiting him. Though Marinette can honestly say in the time she had been working here he never has, but she knew what their relationship had always been like.

“Umm… Yeah actually, Kinda?” He paused. " I work here now.” He revealed almost making Marinette’s jaw drop. “I moved back to Paris, and Father wants me to work on the business side of things. I guess as he’s getting older he’s more worried about his art. “

“That’s great. I guess we’ll be seeing each other around then.” Marinette smiled and tried not to panic.

“Yeah, I got to go see father, but let’s catch up another time, Marinette.” He walked away sparing her a wave which she returned. and Marinette found herself screaming inside her mind. Adrien Agreste was back in Paris working in the same building she was. If Marinette was 14 she’d be screaming for joy, but now all she could think about was how difficult working around him was going to be. She had loved him for years, and he had never noticed. Then he went off to America, then Japan, and married Kagami….

Oh...

Marinette had almost forgotten, but she couldn’t dwell on Adrien when she had her own problems like picking up Emma. Shaking her head clear of any thoughts regarding Adrien Agreste, Marinette walked out of Gabriel and to her car. She’d be at Emma’s school in no time.

“Father,” Adrien greeted as he stepped into Gabriel Agreste’s office.

“Ah, Adrien. I see you made here on time, good.” Adrien fought the urge to roll his eyes business as usual when dealing with his father. “Tomorrow I’ll be holding a press conference and introducing you as the new CFO to Gabriel and the public.”

Adrien raised an eyebrow, “You haven’t sent the news to the company about a new CFO. Father, that’s-“ Gabriel held up ahead silencing his son, and make Adrien feel like he was 14 again.

“I gave word to those who needed to know, but everyone else will learn about it at the press conference tomorrow.” He said, “ I’ll have Nathalie escort you to your office, and please remember that though I’m sympathetic with your situation I’m still expecting great things from you, Adrien.” Adrien felt his hands tighten to fist.

“Of course, Father,” Adrien said tightly and moved to follow the silent Nathalie out of the room. When they were clear of the room Adrien spoke to himself. “Why did I even bother coming back.” He spat hating the way his father made him feel.

“Well, I for one am grateful. This move was beneficial to you both.” Nathalie replied catching and pulling Adrien away from his thoughts. “And having your father be able to focus on Paris then you in Tokyo is going to do wonders for my nerves.” Adrien laughed a little at that, though he knows on some level it isn’t true. His father had been more attentive of him lately but he was sure it was going to pass soon. And Gabriel had never really worried about him in the way that Adrien thought was fatherly.

“Thank you, Nathalie. Out of this, at least being closer to you is a benefit.” Nathalie smiled in response

“Your daughter, Ayako, How is she?”

“She’s doing great! Handled the move like a pro, and she’s….” Adrien looked down at the watch on his wrist and noticed the time. “ At school! I’m sorry Nathalie I have to go get her!” Adrien said running down the hallway and to the Elevator. As he got in his phone buzzed with a message from Nathalie over all the things he needed to go over before tomorrow and the number of his office, and he ran toward his car barely stopping to thank the doorman and igniting the ignition as quickly as possible and thanked God for push starts. Soon he was out of the parking garage and on the street. The great thing about Ayako’s primary school was how close to the office it was. It made things easier when Adrien had a slip of the mind like this. He couldn’t believe he was late picking up his daughter on the first day. He hoped Ayako didn’t get on him too much.

Adrien pulled up to the school and quickly walked inside finding a receptionist who simply waved off his panic look and said it happened all the time before walking him outside to the other children in “Aftercare” as she called it was. It didn’t take him long to find Ayako or really for Ayako to find him.

“Daddy!” She ran up to up and hugged him by the legs with a shout. “I thought you forgot about me!” She said while staring up at him still holding his legs  "but Emma’s mommy said you’d be here soon and she even let Emma stay and wait with me! We played tag and-“

“Hold on, Aya. “ He said scooping up his child. “Okay from the beginning and who is Emma?” He asked with a laugh

“I made a friend!” Aya said proudly. “She’s nice, daddy. and she knows how to sing really well. In music class, she sounded better than everybody else and knew that a piano had strings in it!”

"Really now?” Adrien replied, happy that her first day was at least a happy one his late pick up excluded.

“Yup! Her mommy’s really nice too and waited with me too! Come meet them!” Aya kicked her legs asking to be let down and began to drag her father over to the small pavilion where he found a very familiar face one he had literally just run into.

“Well, I  did say we could catch up later, Marinette,” Adrien said as he stared at the woman he had just pumped into 30 minutes ago. This time he was able to get a better look at her. In Gabriel, he only saw bluebell eyes and freckles, that could belong only to her, but now he could see just how different she looked.  Her hair was longer then it had been in Lycée and she had clearly grown. Adrien noting how good she looked, but he always thought she was one of the prettiest girls in his class, though at the time he was more worried about Kagami. It was no surprise that Marinette had grown to become a beautiful woman. “I didn’t know you had a daughter,” Adrien said spying a small black haired girl hiding behind her mother’s pencil skirt.

"Yeah! This is Emma. Emma, sweetie, please say hi to mommy’s friend. Mr. Adrien.” Marinette pushed her daughter around her.

“Hi.” The girl responded softly and shyly.

“Emma it’s not shy time, This is my daddy. Remember I told you about how cool he was. He looks like the prince from the movie!”  Aya said stepping forward, trying to urge the girl out of her shell. It seemed to work.

“Are you a prince, like in the movies?” Emma asked with wide eyes. At this both Marinette and Adrien laughed.

“No Sweetie, but even I have to admit Mr. Adrien has always been very prince-like,” Marinette replied, causing Adrien to look up quickly at her. Prince-like? That was what she thought of him.

“Daddy, I didn’t know you knew Emma’s mommy?” Aya said confused.

“Daddy knows a lot of people, baby,” Adrien replied smirking at his daughter’s pout at his answer. “But in this case, I and Ms. Marinette went to school together.” Emma perked up at this.

“Like Me and Aya?” she asked. Marinette nodded.

“Yes, but we were a little older when we meet. Not as lucky as you two.” Marinette hooped her daughter’s nose, who giggled in response. It seemed being a parent suited Marinette not that Adrien was surprised. She had always taken care of everyone around her. Being a mother suited her.

“Mommy,” Emma pulled on her mother’s red pencil skirt. “Can Aya and I play some more?” Marinette quickly looked back up at Adrien then down again at her daughter.

“I don’t think so sweetie, I’m sure Mr. Adrien is very busy. You can play with Aya another time.”

“Dame!” Aya grabbed her father’s hand, “Daddy, please let me play with Aya more! I’ll never ask for anything ever!”

“Me too!” Emma grabbed his other hand, “Please Mr. Adrien?” With both of them giving him puppy dog eyes Adrien could feel his resolve shrinking.

“Well, I don’t have to go back to the office.” Adrien scratched the back of his head. "If your free Marinette, we could go to the park, get some ice cream. I did promise that we would catch up.” at this both girls turned their attention to Marinette freeing Adrien from the hot seat.

“Ice Cream!” Emma shouted “Please Mommy!!”

“Yes, Emma’s mommy, can we go get ice cream then play together!” With both girls pleading at her Marinette turned to glare at Adrien who had the gall to look as innocent as possible. How could she say no when they were both begging like this. It wasn’t like she had to get back to the office either.

“You know what, ice cream sounds great.” Marinette smiled at Adrien. Her heart melts as the two girls cry in delight. How could she have said no to that? Seeing the two spin around in joy was worth staying out a little later.

It was a short walk to the park and the ice cream man. The line was short, which was rare as he had a tendency to be very popular. The park as a whole was quieter then it had been in a while. Marinette was expecting more children as it was after school now, but it seemed she was wrong. It was very peaceful. Adrien pulled out his wallet and handed his daughter a few bills, "Go and get you and Emma some Ice Cream, Okay?” Aya smiled up at her father, Before nodding and running off with Emma.

“Thanks for that, Adrien, but I could have paid for Emma’s ice cream,” Marinette said as she sat down on the bench.

“It’s just ice cream, and I’m not exactly hurting for money,” Adrien shrugged. “But how have you been? It’s been what 11- 12 years.?”

“Yeah, you went to university in America right?” That was the last time they saw each other, freshly 18, out of lycée, and heading out into the world. It was where Marinette’s 4-year crush had to die, and where their friendship came to an end.

“Yeah,” Adrien rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. A habit that he had done for years when he was feeling uncomfortable. "I should have kept in contact better.”

“It’s okay, It wasn’t like we were super close anyway.” Not for Marinette’s lack of trying though, “You kept in touch with Nino though. He always told Alya and me how you were doing. Besides I’m sure America was good for you. To get away from… everything here.” Adrien’s smile left, as he sighed. His home life as a kid was never really a secret especially to his friends, and Marinette was one of them.

“Yeah, it was good for me. Kagami was the one who’d convince me to…” Adrien trailed off. It was easy to forget, especially at times like this when he was remembering the past.

Marinette placed a hand on his shoulder. “I heard about….” Marinette searched for the right words, but she wasn’t sure she had them. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. I can’t even imagine. what you’ve been through.” When Nino had gotten the news about the accident, he’d flown to Japan immediately to help Adrien. Alya and Marinette had helped him packed. From what Nino told him, Adrien had been in rough shape, but that was almost 2 years ago. And Nino hadn’t even told them Adrien was moving back to Paris. She assumes he hadn’t known

“Thank you…” Adrien Brushed his hair away from his eyes, and that was when Marinette noticed that a scar on his eyebrow hidden by his hair. A permanent reminder. “I’m becoming okay again. I have someone else who needs me after all. I couldn’t completely fall apart.”

“I guess that’s true,” She acknowledged.

“Besides Moving back to Paris is going to be great!” Adrien said bringing a smile to his face. " I’m back where my friends and family are. And I think Aya will love it here. This is her first time in Paris. I’m honestly so impressed with her. Her French had always been good, but she prefers Japanese. I thought for sure she wouldn’t speak it too much when we got here, but she’s really blown my expectations out of the water with how she’s assimilated. Honestly, I uprooted her to a completely different culture, but then again she was a little forward for Japan. Kagami used to say she gets that from me, but I’ve never really seen it.” This piqued Marinette’s interest. Adrien had always been reserved, sweet to a fault but reserved. Foreward wasn’t a word she would use to describe him. Kagami, however, was always very forthcoming about her feelings for Adrien, Unlike Marinette herself. Marinette often wished she had Kagami’s confidence.

“But what’s your story these past few years. I mean it seems you’ve got everything you wanted, A designing job at Gabriel, and a beautiful daughter. Though I would have thought  you would have been married by now.”Adrien's hand flew up as the words flew out of his mouth Adrien realized what he had said. He had noticed the lack of ring on her finger and assumed. He was trying to restart his friendship with Marinette now he probably ruined. “I Swear I didn’t mean it like! -“ He started but stopped at the sound of her laughter. She was laughing harder then he had seen her laugh in over a decade. A true genuine laugh that was infectious and soon made Adrien start to laugh too. When was the last time he had laughed like this? It had to have been since before the accident. It had been a while since he had said something like that so true to his inner thoughts too.

“I’m sorry.” Marinette wheezed in between laughs. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so…. “ She searched for the words. her yeas rolling looking for the right word. “Panicked. You’ve always said the right thing. It’s nice to see the other side, the side that’s a little more human.”

Adrien raised an eyebrow, “Well, I’m far from perfect….” He hadn’t realized he portrayed that sort of image to Marinette, that certainly did explain her prince comment from earlier. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like….” He trailed off unsure of how to make this any less awkward.

“Hey,” She waved him off. “It’s fine, and nothing worse then what I hear from my mother on a weekly basis.” Marinette rolled her eyes, “And being married was something I’ve wanted since school. Everyone in our class knew about my dream to marry have a nice house with a picket fence 2 sons, a daughter, a dog, and a hamster. It wasn’t that big of a secret, no matter how hard I tried to keep it that way.” Marinette mused back to her old self in school. She was so... 14. Yes, she was a fourteen year old with far too big of a crush, and too much time on her hands. “But to answer your question, Life isn’t what you dream of at 14. It’s a lot…Harder. And I made some decisions most of them bad but a few good ones, and I can say Emma was the best of them, even if don’t have all those things I dreamed up as a kid.”

Adrien watched Marinette as she looked out her eyes finding her daughter and the smile that graced her lips were something he hadn’t seen in a while, but something he knew. A mother’s love. A parent’s love, hell he looked at his kid the same way.

“I will say Emma was not part of the plan, but I loved her, and I always wanted a kid anyway. I just had to do it on my own. Sure it was scary, but she’s worth it.” Marinette had said a lot and had said nothing at all. It had made Adrien curious, but he wasn’t going to force her to open up to him. After all, they hadn’t seen each other in 12 years.

“I understand,” Adrien replied earnestly. He opened his mouth to ask her about how her parents were doing when A familiar shout came from the playground that made both he and Marinette stand. They both rushed over, but it was Adrien who got there first his height playing to his advantage, where he found Emma cradling her forearm, and Aya trying to calm the wailing girl down though she looked to be on the verge of tears herself

“Hey, girls, what happened? Are you alright?” He asked, but suddenly found himself narrated with wails and Aya trying to explain despite being panic. It was mostly a mesh of Japanese and French that Adrien could barely understand over Emma’s cries. It seemed right now he wasn’t gonna learn anything until he got Emma to calm down. Adrien crouched and pulled Emma into his lap an Automatic reaction to seeing a girl his daughter’s age crying. He was worried if she had broken her arm.

“Hey, Emma?” He said gently. “I see you hurt your arm. Can I take a look at it.” Emma looked at him hesitantly at first but stopped wailing at least, and held out her arm with a nod. Ah, There was the source of the crying. I large scratch going up Emma’s forearm, more than likely from a rock. Poor thing it looked like it hurt, but at least it wasn’t bleeding heavy. Luckily Aya was known for being a little more than rambunctious and he always had Bandaids on him. He reached in his pocket pulling out some Neosporin and bandaids. “This is going to help okay, but it might sting a little. Is that Okay?” He asked. Emma sniffled now the crying was coming to an end, but she nodes once more, and Adrien began to bandage her arm. Just as he was finished Marinette finally caught up, not that he could blame her, she wasn’t exactly mobile in her pencil skirt and heels.

“Is everything ok? Emma!” She said noticing the decent size bandaid on her daughter's arm. She crouched to her daughter’s level who immediately jumped out of Adrien’s grasp and to her mothers. “Emma, what happened to your arm?”

Adrien stood dusting his pants off, "I think she fell and scraped her arm on a rock. Don’t worry I disinfected it and wrapped it up. She’ll be fine, it wasn’t even really bleeding. I think it was the shock if anything.” Adrien places his hands in his pocket as he watched Marinette pull Emma close and whisper something in her ear.

Marinette smiled, “Talk about super dad. You just happen to carry Bandaids and disinfectant on you?” Marinette asked impressed. Not even she did that.

Adrien shrugged, “let’s just say Aya is a little more accident-prone than normal and leave it at that.”

“Well thank you, Adrien,” Marinette said. “Emma what do you say to Mr. Adrien for helping you with your arm.”

“Thank you, Mr. Adrien,” Emma said shyly. A trait she must have gotten from her mother. Remembering their earlier conversation Adrien swept himself into a gallant bow

“It is always an honor to help royalty like you, Princess Emma.” The excited gasp he heard from her was enough to make him smile.

“I think It’s probably time to head home now.” Marinette stood up with Emma still in her arms. “It’s been great Adrien. Let’s do this again sometime.” She said. “Say goodbye to Mr. Adrien and Ayako, Emma”

"Bye-bye,” She waved as her mother turned and began to walk back in the direction of their car. Adrien and Aya returned the farewell while watching the mother and daughter leave. Adrien couldn’t believe today, both he had Marinette were parents to girls in the same class, coincidence didn’t even express how amazing that was. Not to mention, it seemed they still got along as they did in Lycée. He was lucky. When he left Paris 12 years ago. He didn’t want to come back. While school had been fun thanks to Nino and Kagami, and Marinette he still had too many bad memories and not to mention his father around that made staying in Paris not ideal. When Kagami asked him to go to America with her, he hasn’t hesitated, but he realized how much he missed. The lives of the friends he had just left here, Marinette had a child and he was sure other’s from Lycée were parents too. He couldn’t believe it. He should have kept in touch better, but that was in the past and he couldn’t change it now. he could, however, learn from it.

"Hey, Marinette!” He called making the two stop and turn around. He ran over to them a confused Aya following behind him. “look I know you have to get to work pretty early and actually most mornings I get into the office after the girls are in school. and I’m pretty sure you’ll get off before me, so How about we work together in this single parents helping each other out.” He said, “I can take the girls to school and you can pick them up starting tomorrow and when I get off I can get Aya from.” He offered. This would save him in the afternoons. He couldn’t get out at 2:30 obviously going by what happened today, but Marinette had made it with enough time to spare. “What do you say?”

Marinette bit her lip. Dropping off Emma in the morning early to Adrien’s would take a load off her shoulder’s and it wasn’t like he was a stranger either. He was another working parent trying to make this work. It couldn’t hurt, and it meant Madame Paulette would get off her back if she should up early like she was supposed to.

“Deal.” She said, “on one condition.” She added milking Adrien’s confused expression. “I need your phone number.”

He sighed in relief, “Of course” He said before pulling out his phone and reciting his number to her. Which she did back to him as well. “So, I’ll see you in the morning then. “

“Yup, and don’t forget to text me your address,” Marinette said with a wave before departing. 

Yeah, something inside Adrien’s gut told him this move was going to be a good thing.

Next Chapter[x]

[i-got-that-fandom-kinda-love]

A to Z favourite TV show challenge! Or # to Z?

# - 30 Rock (Liz Lemmon! This is just all kinds of hilarity).

A - Ally McBeal (there's not enough of this on Tumblr btw. I loved it before I understood it - my brother watched and I followed. And then I watched again and I loved it more) / Arrow (so years ago I started watching this because of Tumblr. You guys were obsessed with Olicity and I was too even though I hadn't watched the show. So I watched it. Thank you for ruining my life btw) / Accidentally in Love (Asian Series, sup, @netflix - thanks for getting me addicted to Asian series - I liked them before but now it's just there and begging to be watched AND I CAN'T HELP MYSELF - YOU'VE ADDICTED MY MOTHER TOO).

B - Brooklyn Nine Nine (best thing to happen to me, thank you Tumblr - the nine nine fandom. Also started it a couple years ago and fell in love hard. This show makes me laugh no matter what and it's pure and I love it so much. It's really a show I needed because when I watch series I get really emotionally involved and certain shows leave me so stressed that I have to take a break and all I can watch is comedies for a few weeks. Or months. Depends on how big my heart break was. B99 always makes me laugh and feel lighter). / Buffy the Vampire Slayer (another one from my childhood, you know when you're too young to really understand but old enough to remember it? So yeah, my brother got me hooked at a young age and the addiction stuck. Because I've never been able to forget Buffy. And I've recently been rewatching it with my mother - she too is a bit addicted).

C - Charmed (Original series, not reboot - I haven't even watched the reboot. But yes, Charmed. I remember being up til 10PM on a Monday while I was in primary (middle) school just to watch it. Halliwell sisters are another drug I never could kick - Leo was one of my first ever crushes - my very first crush was Shahrukh Khan and if we're ever talking Bollywood movies he'll be all over that post).

D - Doctor Who (Okay! I only started watching from season 5, again cos NETFLIX - the Doctor and Amy Pond - man, just lock me up in the TARDIS and take me away already. ALSO one of the series that broke my heart enough that rendered me incapable of watching any other series except comedy).

E - Ek Hazaroon Mein Meri Behna Hai (Hindi series; my sister is one in a thousand - I assume it's the name because that sounds better in Hindi than one in a million or billion. There's something about Hindi series that sucks you in and tortures you until you're on the brick of exploding from suspense - the build up is both infuriating and renders you unable to tear your eyes away).

F - Friends ('Cause it's been there for me and how can I not? Again, childhood. Also. Heroes get remembered but legends never die. And I've watched every episode like a gazillion times and laugh just the same - I think even more 'cause I know what's gonna happen. I'm one of those people). / Fairy Tail (Anime. Magic. Friendship. Friendship. Friendship. It's one of those rare shows that has a lot of characters and manages to make you love each one of them. I found it after high school but I love it to bits).

G - Gilmore Girls (I remember the first time I watched this as a kid, Rory and Lorelei were sitting at Luke's diner and chatting about something and I though they were sisters. I was at my cousin's house and I just couldn't stop watching them. Loved it ever since. And it's strange how a randomly watching TV can just change your life - 'cause you know, I obsess) / Gossip Girl (at first, I'd watched it because Kristen Bell was the voice of Gossip Girl. And I needed anything related to anything Veronica Mars. And then I naturally loved it like everybody else. Also disappointed at who GG really was. So yeah.)

H - How I Met Your Mother (At first I really, really loved it, now though it's not so high on my favourite list but it does still make me laugh - cos Barney. The final episode was so disappointing). / Hannah Montana (because if I was 13 or 16 this would have made the list. And I still love the show. My heart swells everytime my bestie sings True Friend to me. I still love Hannah Montana music okay).

I - iZombie (Rob Thomas. He's the reason I tried it out. Liv is the reason I stayed. Also Ravi. And also Major. Okay, dude, characters and plot is right on point) / Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon (Hindi series; what name do I give to this love? Its unnecessarily complicated but gosh those complications kept me on edge, staring at the screen, waiting for those idiots to realise the truth. Opposites attract. Hate to love to hate to love. They did it so well).

J - Joan of Arcadia (okay so I remember really loving this when I was younger - I haven't rewatched it as an adult but I feel like I'll still love it. I mean, come on, what if God was one of us?)

K - Kim Possible (Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me? Ultimate cartoon. Hands down. Second best is The Life and Times of Juniper Lee - she's basically the cartoon Buffy - the Chosen One - though it's hereditary instead of random? And also more fun and less heartache 'cause it's a cartoon).

L - Lucifer (Man, Lucifer. You got the guy telling everyone he's the devil and they think he's talking in metaphors? It's just hilarious to me. Detective. Romance. Snark. Supernatural. Also, Hello, Adult Tom Welling - can I even describe how excited I was to see him? Smallville, man).

M - Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir (One of the few new cartoons that I watch and love. This is just so cute and the love square is just so cute and everything is just so cute. And like we need cute stuff in our lives. Frustrating cos how oblivious can one be but also why you so cute Marinette Dupain Chang and Adrian Agreste aka Ladybug and Cat Noir)/ Malcolm in the Middle (Childhood. Childhood. Childhood. I'm not the middle child but I relate).

N - Naruto (Anime. Okay, childhood yes, also teenagehood and adulthood. Guy's been with me through everything, believe it. This show just means so much to me and I'm thankful that I got to grow up with him. Thank you, Kishimoto).

O - One Day At a Time (THANK YOU, NETFLIX! This is just one of the greatest shows on right now. I love comedy. I didn't expect it to be so emotional too. But damn it gets you right in the feels. My brother claims I'm exactly like Elena and our nephew is like Alex. I honestly don't mind. Elena is badass and strong as hell.)

P - Psych (It's just awesome? It's clever, it's funny, Shawn and Gus. The dramatics in extremely serious situations will never not make grin like a mad woman. Also private investigation shows seem to a weakness of mine. ) / Parks and Recreation (okay I never thought I'd like a mockumentary kind of series but this happened and proved me wrong and I just love this show and it's characters). / Pyaar Ka Dard Hai Meetha Meetha Pyara Pyara (Hindi Series; the pain of love is sweet and loveable. When your parents set you up with someone and you're like no way in hell and they're like okay but they you become best friends and fall in love and yeah. The name says it all, really). / Pinocchio (Asian series - one of the more complicated ones but I simply just loved these characters and actors to bits after watching it).

Q - Quantico (it's not really one of my favourites but I couldn't think of anything else and I do enjoy it. Priyanka Chopra has always been a fav since forever - Bollywood was life before I was even old enough to understand English - but it's because of this that I can understand Hindi without needing subtitles).

R - Rizzoli & Isles (who wouldn't love a show with two best friends kicking ass in the work place). / Revenge (I watched it cos I liked Emily from Everwood but the story was so intriguing and I just got addicted. It wasn't like anything I've ever seen). / Refresh Man (Asian series - officially my favourite Asian series of all time - again, thank you Netflix. Also ever since I've loved both Aaron Yan and Joanna Tseng and I'm on a mission to watch everything they've ever acted in - do you see my obsessing tenancies?).

S - Supergirl / Supernatural / Suits / Smallville (Okay! There's too many shows that start with an S. Smallville was my gateway into the superhero show - movie - comic obsession. And also I'm getting tired of commenting on everything).

T - The Good Place / The Office (US) / The Flash/ Teen Wolf (also too many with a T!)

U - Ugly Betty

V - Veronica Mars (of all time!! Man, again, random TV viewing = life changing TV show that sticks with you forever and Veronica Mars has definitely affected me way more than any other show. I couldn't get it out of my head ever since 2007! I waited for every Thursday just to watch it and naturally Thursday became my favourite day of the week - not Friday like normal scholars - nope. I think it's the way that it ended that contributed to my obsession - so much questions left unanswered and to a 12 year old girl the most important thing is of course that LoVe hadn't officially gotten back together. My mind wrote and rewrote endings and scenarios. Then I discovered fanfiction. And then I started writing. Veronica Mars made me a junkie but also helped me discover my passion. It's not just the show that makes it my #1 but the journey it's taken me on while it was on air and especially when it was off air. ALSO THE SHOW IS SIMPLY AMAZING EVEN WITHOUT ALL MY EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT - also one of the shows that I started watching and then my brother got hooked onto it).

W - What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? / Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo/ W: two worlds apart (all Asian series - OKAY, NETFLIX IS BLAMED FOR ALL OF THIS)

X - Is there anything but X-Men? I wouldn't really put the series on my favourite list but I do watch the X-Men cartoons and I have enjoyed it so imma let it be.

Y - Young Sheldon (Too smart for his own good Cooper.) / Yankee-kun to Megane-chan (Asian series - okay, this one can't be put on Netflix. It's the first Asian drama series I'd watched because of a manga that I loved).

Z - Zoey101 ('Cause there's nothing else I can think off and I enjoyed it when I was younger. I remember putting 101 after all of my usernames for everything).

So when I thought of this I thought I'd put one name for each alphabet but it didn't work out that way 'cause I obsess over everything.

I would love to get to know more about everyone's favourite shows. I'm tagging based on the Tumblr likes thing (also on my @marshmallowatheart account) and also urls I remember seeing often on the activity cos I wanted to tag as much people as possible. I'd have been cool if I could have went with the a - z for tagging but it's not working out like I wanted so next best. (Also if I didn't tag you and you wanna do it, please go for it, I'm really into this).

Anyone who wants to do this can and whoever doesn't want to it's cool! It takes time to think especially when you have to pick between things so if you want to, add as many as you like. You don't have to add comments on it if you don't want to, I just got carried away! And then got tired.

@poppy-in-the-woods @risssaar @stephaniecatlover @ihaveathingformeninwaistcoats @write-to-feel @mediocre-mee @jenilyn2000 @lalacristina18 @cainc3 @mrskissytaylor @anilcadz91 @elliebear75 @troublescout @hanitjemars @susanmichelin @cheshirecatstrut @firedragonmon

[ship-ambrosia]

A Year in Review for ship-ambrosia - Fanfiction Writers 2018

So I saw a blog I’m a huge fan of do this sort of year reflection of fanfiction writing, and since this was the first year I’ve ever posted my fanfictions, I thought it’d be fun to do!

First off I wanna thank @sweetmemories2606 @allie-and-her-fandoms and @a-fairy-tail44 for constantly encouraging me, being there to bounce ideas off of, also basically being beta readers for me and my hype men... you guys rock. I’m so glad I met all of you.

total number of completed stories

- “Completed” is kind of relative isn’t it? Lol... I have 13 stories posted on AO3, 4 that are on tumblr only, and of those 17 three of them, Heavens Bringer, A Fool Like Him, and Inherit Thunder (previously Heir of Electricity) are unfinished. Three of them are a collection of one-shots from Gruvia, Jerza, and Nalu week, but they’re all so short I’m going to count them as all together.

- There is so much unposted stuff in my backlog that you wouldn’t even believe lol most of it is unfinished though

total word count

- 81000 on AO3. I don’t even want to go and count otherwise

fandoms written in

- Fairy Tail

- My Hero Academia

- RWBY

- Persona 5

- Voltron (behind the scenes)

- Fire Emblem (behind the scenes)

looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

- Let me just say that posting the first two fanfictions, Inherit Thunder (BNHA, kamijirou) and Liberation (RWBY, Blacksun), were totally on a whim. My roommate encouraged me to do it and see what kind of feedback I got on them. Boy am I glad I did. So let me tell you my motivation and progress has been absolutely astounding to me.

what’s your own favorite story of the year?

- This is so hard, because I’ve been in love with all the stories as I posted each of them, like oh yeah this is it this is my best one. Every time lol. I’d have to say though it’s probably The Droplet (FT, Gruvia). Reading my first gruvia fanfiction Four Degrees, and then going to The Droplet, you can really see not only how well my writing has improved, but also how much better I’ve done in understanding Gray and Juvia. Also I happen to find the beginning of it still really sexy lol that was difficult for me, writing a scene that was sexy that was going to be posted for the world to see.

did you take any writing risks this year?

- I think the style that I wrote A Sound Like Thunder (BNHA, iidamei) and Beauty and the Crow (P5, Akeharu) was a different style than um used to, with the story being told in chunks that didn’t quite fit together perfectly but still built off one another. Basically they could have been multi chapter fics but I wrote them like a short story and both of those stories I had to have read over a thousand times because I wanted them to be perfect.

do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

- One, to finish Heavens Bringer which I think is very plausible since I’ve been working on the last chapter a lot lately. Another is just to get more consistent with finishing and posting works, because right now it’s just like, here from me every so often and going like a month or two without posting any sort of writing. Maybe even to write less ship-focused works. I love ships but I don’t think all my writing has to be only romantic

best story of the year?

- Certainly one of my Fairy Tail fanfictions, though I’m not sure which. Heavens Bringer definitely has the most effort put in, but both The Droplet and A Fool Like Him (Ft, stingyu) have such in-depth, emotional breakdowns of Gray and Sting respectively and how I see them viewing their primary love interest that I think both of those stories have a fascinating draw. Also, I’m extremely proud of my Nalu Angst week prompts, I go back and re read them all the time. I think some of my best work resides in that collection, most notably the story titled “Miles Apart, Two Inches Away” from when Natsu and Lucy reunite after the post-Tartaros timeskip.

most popular story of the year?

- That’s easily Everything was the Same (Except when it wasn’t), my first Nalu story. On AO3 it has 755 Hits and 72 kudos, the most for both of all my stories. Which I find so funny because I wrote that story in under an hour lol.

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

- Heavens Bringer, by far. I like to think it’s amazing, and my friends seem to love it, but it’s gotten very little recognition. I’d love for more people to read it, and it has all the big four ships and I’ve devoted soo much time to it. But the feedback I HAVE gotten has been absolutely wonderful!

most fun story to write:

Beauty and the Crow, A Sound Like Thunder, or Nalu Angst Week. I hurt so much while writing all three, but I loved it. Beauty and the Crow because Akechi and Haru’s relationship would be just as tragic as I’ve written it, A Sound Like Thunder because iidamei is normally such a goofy ship and I literally almost killed Iida and made Mei Hatsume cry, and Nalu Angst Week because well... painful feels. But I enjoyed the dark places that my writing went.

story with the single sexiest moment:

Haven’t written (read: published) a ton of sexy scenes. I think The Droplet wins for the part where Gray almost pulls off Juvia’s underwear with his teeth, only to be interrupted by their baby.

most sweet story:

- Nuclear Fusion. No angst, it’s straight up injecting Nalu parenting fluff into your bloodstream lol

“holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

- Nothing yet?? Maybe hurting Iida and Mei in A Sound Like Thunder. I need to write a goofy fic with the two of them, honestly.

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

- I’m going to say Inherit Thunder. I used to think of Kaminari as just a total goofball. Coming up with the idea of his parents as villains gave so many deep possibilities to why Kaminari wants to be the “trendy” popular boy or where he could come from, what his motivation for being a hero could be. I could be totally right, or totally off. But it definitely made me so much more intrigued by what Horikoshi could have planned for him.

most unintentionally telling story:

- When you read Heavens Bringer you see exactly what kind of Fairy Tail fan I am. Lol

hardest story to write:

- Heavens Bringer! Lol. Also worked on Beauty and the Crow for a long time, because I couldn’t decide what direction I exactly wanted to take Haru and Akechi - did I want to follow the plot? Did I want to make Haru and Akechi fall in love, or make it a series of moments? Did I want lots of dialogue, or did I want it to be more narrated? It was a lot of stylistic choices that went into that one but I’m totally happy with how it turned out!

biggest disappointment:

- I worked on a Baccana story for sooo long and then I ended up deleting it because it was turning into very cliche, Gildarts-doesn’t-approve-so-he-challenges-Bacchus-to-a-fight and I didn’t want to write a fic that had already been done 30 times (not that Gildarts and Bacchus fighting because Bacchus likes Cana isn’t great... it’s just that most people who like that ship have already written that).

biggest surprise:

- Uhh, Inherit Thunder being as popular as it was received? I’ve gotten dozens of messages asking for a sequel and it’s really an incredible feeling to know people want more of a story. It was originally gonna just be a one-shot, but now I’m writing a second chapter that will probably come out after Heavens Bringer is done.

some stuff in the works for the new year:

- Obviously, Heavens Bringer part 5 and chapter 2 of Inherit Thunder

- Working on several more chapters to A Fool Like Him, it’s basically just all suffering for Sting lol

- A multi chapter Baccana fic AU-ish in which Cana joins Quatro Cerberus during the Tartaros timeskip after Fairy Tail is disbanded

- Multi chapter Gruvia and Gale fic about Juvia disappearing after leaving to search for answers to her origin, leaving Gray and Gajeel desperate to find her

- Stingyu Cinderella/Princess and the Pauper AU

- A Yang x Ilia piece (FINALLY! LOL)

- May eventually clean up and post an experimental fic where I practiced writing combat with Sun and Neptune vs Mercury

- Ryuji x Ann getting together post-canon

- Future Ryuji x Ann single dad Ryuji AU

- Haru x Akechi Military/sort of Fullmetal Alchemist AU?? Idk it was inspired by fanart

- Maybe post some of my Voltron/Fire Emblem stuff eventually? Idk about those

If you read this entire post seriously thank you!! And thanks to everyone who’s read my fics, sent me messages about them, or just talked to me in general!! I love interacting with the communities!!

[doctortreklock]

Garden - May 22, 2019

Part of my Resolution19. Read it on AO3.

Prompt: You promised your firstborn to a witch, but you’re terrible with guys (x)

Fandom: Original Work - Part of my Contemporary Arts series, but can be read alone

Art: “Falling Garden” by Gerda Steiner & Jorg Lenzlinger

Words: 3574

To this day I'm still not sure what possessed me to make that promise. But it was Cassandra's 23rd birthday, her proper coming-of-age, and I'd been half in love with her since we'd both started at the Conclave. And I'd been so focused on not letting that slip that I'd forgotten to get her a Gift (which was completely inexcusable for a witch's 23rd).

So when it had been my turn, and she'd looked at me with her deep brown, liquid eyes set in her gorgeous, russet brown skin, I had blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"My firstborn."

And that had caused quite a stir, let me tell you.

--

Now, an off-hand, extravagant promise like that might not mean a lot to you, but it had been a Gift at Cassandra's Convocation, and that meant something.

A vow was a vow, and an oath was an oath, and a promise was a promise. And all three were binding to the depths of your soul.

To complicate matters further, I had no idea how I would get a firstborn in the first place. I was awkward around women, completely uninterested in men, and the thought of any activities that might result in a child made me break out in a cold sweat. In short, I was completely and utterly screwed.

--

My first instinct was to laugh it off and immediately reverse course, drowning my embarrassment in nachos and berating myself for my idiocy. As I mentioned, that wasn't really an option, see: eternally binding promises. And, like, the kind of promise that lingers, that becomes unfinished business and will keep you tethered to the mortal world long after you should have left. (This would be especially awkward in my case, since firstborn are really hard to come by once you're incorporeal.)

Instead, I just froze. Cassandra's eyes widened in surprise and the utter stillness that had fallen at my pronouncement broke in a rush of noise.

"What?"

"Did she just?"

"I can't believe--"

Cassandra's eyes didn't leave mine and I stared back at her, unblinking, too panicked to think of anything.

"--never heard of such a thing--"

"--can't imagine--"

Cassandra blinked and looked toward the rest of those gathered. "Enough." Her quiet pronouncement settled the crowd. "Shiraz has given her Gift." Her dark eyes found mine again, contemplating me, and I felt like I was drowning in their depths. "And I have accepted it." I felt the suffocating weight of an unfulfilled oath settle around me.

Yep. So screwed.

--

I sat there nervously bouncing my leg while anxiety twisted in my stomach, waiting for the last four people to give their Gifts. Theirs fell much more into the standard practice for Convocations: a book on magical theory from Madam Constance, three pale dewdrops plucked from the base of a mountain from Beatrice, a dozen tulip bulbs from Imelda, and her great-grandmother's pearl necklace and earring set from Cassandra's mom.

Once the last person in the circle has given their Gift, the Convocation is technically over. This signals the beginning of a party designed to appropriately celebrate the end of a witch's minority and the official completion of her education. My plans had been to retreat from the circle as quickly as possible and see how far I could get, re: nacho drowning. Even as the other witches moved closer to congratulate Cassandra (and probably to see about getting her take on the whole "firstborn" thing, knowing them), I could feel her watching me.

I immediately changed course from the buffet to Madam Constance. The Chinese woman didn't look surprised when I grabbed her elbow and pulled her a little further from the crowd. "Help," I hissed.

Madam Constance looked amused. "And what are you looking for help with?" she asked, raising a single eyebrow. "It seems rather simple from here. You offered your firstborn as a Gift to Cassandra and she accepted. You now owe her your firstborn."

I stared at her hopelessly. "Help," I repeated, quieter.

This got me a sigh. "Shiraz," she said firmly. "Your Convocation was last month, so I am no longer your teacher. But," she added at my dismayed expression, "I will remind you of this, which you should have remembered from Madam Alvarez's seminar on bindings," she said pointedly.

I wracked my brain for the lecture in question and could only bring up the hazy memory of Veronica inadvertently swearing herself to be Octavia's servant for the day and Cassandra's chiming laughter at the spectacle.

Luckily, Madam Constance continued. "Oath magic cannot be negated or diverted. It can, however, be interpreted. You offered your firstborn." Here her amused eyebrow made an appearance again. "You were fortunate in not specifying that it had to be a firstborn child. Any creation you pour your heart, soul, sweat, blood, and tears into may count."

It was the best news I had heard since... actually, since ever. It was the best news I had ever heard.

"Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears," I repeated, nodded. "Got it. Thank you very much, Madam Constance!" Before the woman could stop me, I gave her a quick hug before darting away. I heard a resigned sigh from behind me.

"Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears," I chanted to myself. "Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears."

--

I did manage to get away that night without talking to Cassandra, which I thought was a minor miracle at the time. It just meant that she had to track me down the next day.

I was brainstorming ideas for a firstborn when there was a knock at my door. "Shiraz?" It was Cassandra.

The Conclave had a sprawling campus, and even though its primary purpose was as a school for magically talented women, it also served as a community center and meeting place. Hence why I still had a room there, even after my Convocation.

My blood ran cold when I heard her voice. A stronger witch than I would have simply opened the door. Then again, a stronger witch would have probably just 'fessed up to Cassandra before all of this started. Or just remembered to get her a Gift.

As it was, I simply pretended I wasn't home.

After a moment, she knocked again. "Shiraz?" She didn't sound a lot like her normal, confident self. She was nervous, and that made her tentative.

The realization had me on my feet, and before I could second guess myself, I had opened the door. "Hi, Cassandra."

She looked beautiful. Well, she always looked beautiful, but this morning, with the weight of my vow on my shoulders, I figured it was probably too late to pretend she didn't steal my breath every time I saw her. Her hair was frizzing a little out of her neat braids, and she looked tired, but her skin still glowed in the sunshine.

"Shiraz," she breathed. "Hi."

We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before I remembered that I should have some manners. "Come in?" I asked, moving out of her way. Cassandra nodded and walked past me into the room.

She took a breath. "I--"

I interrupted her. "Before you say anything, I want you to know I have this under control."

"You do?" She looked skeptical.

"Yes," I said firmly. "I talked to Madam Constance, and I think I know how to get out of this."

"Get out of it?" she asked. "I actually wanted to--"

"It'll be fine. I've got a couple ideas, and we'll get this thing sorted right away," I assured her.

Cassandra didn't look reassured. "Shiraz, I think we need to talk about--"

"No!" I blurted. "I don't-- We don't need to talk about anything. It's fine."

She huffed sharply in frustration. "Shiraz! We need to talk about your Gift!" I was going to interrupt her again, but she threw up a hand to stop me. "Don't. Please." I kept my mouth shut. She took a breath. "Shiraz, why did you give me such a Gift?"

Her eyes were beseeching, and I caught a glimpse of something that might have been hope. I opened my mouth before I knew what I was going to say, but nothing came out. For a moment, I almost told her the truth. I almost told her about how much I thought about her every day. About the way sunbeams danced in her hair and gave her a golden halo that left me awestruck. About the sweaty palms and nervous butterflies I got when I thought about kissing her. About how many Gifts I had considered and discarded until I was left with nothing but my heart to offer.

I almost told her. But what I said instead was, "It was an accident. I panicked."

Her gaze shuttered and dropped. "Right. An accident," she echoed.

"Like the mayor's poodle," I clarified.

"Like the poodle," she repeated hollowly. "Of course."

I wasn't sure what else to say.

"I'm going to fix this," I told her again, desperately hoping that might repair what I was beginning to realize I had broken.

She looked at me for a moment, and I'm not sure what she was thinking about, but then she nodded and left.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better if I had just talked to her the night before.

--

There were certain rules of magic that were universal. Oaths and vows were one of the big ones, as I had found out. The structure and form of spells was another constant. But each woman who walked into the Conclave had her own talent, a single flavor that characterized her magic.

Imelda, for example, was particularly good at destructive spells. She could probably tear down a building if she really needed to. Most of the time, though, that manifested in small ways when her emotions got too strong. When she got annoyed at homework, lights flickered. When she got angry, neatly alphabetized books would randomly rearrange themselves. Things like that. (She wasn't really allowed in the library anymore unless Veronica was there to help keep her calm.)

Yeah, Veronica was a bit of an empath. Her thing was emotions. Which was great when she was upbeat; it really helped us all focus. But when she and her boyfriend had a nasty breakup over Skype... Well, it wasn't pretty.

Lucinda did electricity and tech; Cassandra was basically one with plants; Madam Constance had this cool thing where she could see and manipulate other people's spells; and I-- Well.

My talent wasn't quite like everyone else's. I had yet to find a way to distill it down to a single idea. If I had to sum it up, it would be accidents. When I was seven, I exploded my uncle's can of soda all over him from across the room because he had mentioned a little too loudly that a woman needs to know her place. I was thirteen when Madam Ramirez had taken us on a field trip to a fundraiser. The mayor had made a small joke in his speech; I was the only one who gave a large laugh. It was slightly awkward; I was embarrassed; I accidentally vanished the mayor's pocket poodle. I was twenty-three when I panicked at a friend's Convocation and offered her my firstborn as a Gift.

To be fair, the last one might not have actually been magic.

--

After Cassandra left, I spent the rest of the afternoon alternating between turning our conversation over in my head, trying to figure out exactly what I had missed, and desperately attempting to forget the conversation entirely by focusing on possible firstborns.

It was around this time, as I was dourly meditating on my terrible accident talent, that I remembered Cassandra's.

Plants. Of course.

I then pulled a piece of slightly crinkled paper out of my recycling bin (one side of which contained the half-finished checklist of thank you cards from my own Convocation, but the reverse of which was blank), fished a pen out of my sock drawer, and set to planning the most elaborate plant-based Gift I could hope to give Cassandra.

I'd like to say that it was all smooth sailing from there.

--

The next time I saw Cassandra, I was at the Conclave's library. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do, but my ideas were severely limited by what spells I knew. I had hoped that Madam Florence might have been able to help, but she just scribbled down a list of introductory books on a variety of spell forms and impatiently shooed me away.

I was staring blankly at the two dozen unopened books stacked around me at the library table when someone slid into the seat across from me. It was Cassandra, of course.

I hadn't seen her since the awkward conversation in my room the week before, and I'd been kind of hoping I would be able to avoid her a little longer. I still wasn't sure what I had said to put that look in her eyes, but I'd had grand schemes of skirting around her for months until my Gift was done. Then, of course, my oath would be fulfilled, my Gift delivered, and everything would be able to go back to normal.

Well obviously that wasn't going to happen now.

"Cass--"

"What's your plan?" she interrupted. She looked tired, but otherwise neat and put-together as usual. (In comparison, my messy ponytail and worn Conclave sweatshirt felt particularly shabby.)

"What?" I asked reflexively.

"Last week. You said you knew how to deal with the whole...Gift thing," she gestured vaguely with one hand. "So. What's your plan?"

I looked at my table of books. It looked particularly dismal in light of her sharp question. I was suddenly much less confident than I had been before her arrival (and I hadn't really been that confident to begin with).

"Um," I stalled. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "You said you knew how to fix it. If it was an accident," her voice faltered briefly on the last word, "then I won't let you do it on your own." She lifted her chin to look me square in the eye. "It's not fair to you." Then she folded her hands on the table in front of her, as if waiting for a counterargument from me.

I didn't have one to give her.

"Uh, okay," I told her. "That might actually be best. I was probably going to have to get help from someone anyway," I admitted. "The spell structure is kind of beyond me." I sighed a little at the intimidating stacks surrounding me.

"Okay," she repeated, obviously not expecting me to agree so quickly. "So what's your plan?"

And then I told her about the Garden.

--

Cassandra's natural affinity for plants made them a natural choice for any Gift I could give her. But after offering her my firstborn, dewdrops and tulip bulbs weren't exactly going to cut it.

Outside the window of my room at the Conclave, there was a grassy courtyard, complete with tree. I'd been staring at it, wishing for some kind of inspiration that would bring me from "plants" to an actual, viable idea. The tree was maple, but it reminded me of Newton anyway, who had watched an apple fall and calculated gravity.

And that led me back to thoughts of falling apples and plants and falling in general and--OH

I had to fish a couple more pieces of paper out of my recycling to scribble down all the details that flooded my mind after that.

I had a vision of a falling garden, flowers and leaves eternally suspended above the floor in a constant array of motion and life. In my mind's eye, it was a brilliant riot of reds, yellows, pinks, and purples set against a vivid background of greens. There was a side hall with a vaulted roof that was rarely used, which would be perfect for this. Though maybe there was a way to make it portable? So Cassandra could take it with her when she left the Conclave...

And I scribbled and dreamed and pushed all thoughts of reality out of my mind. Because I couldn't master my talent or remember lectures about bindings, so how was I going to pull this bit of magic off?

--

Cassandra and I spent six months working on the Garden.

She had a stronger grounding in theory and a much better idea of what kinds of plants we should use than I did, but she also didn't have any better idea of what spells we would actually need to use to create the Garden.

I was lucky that she loved the idea as soon as I told her about it. I had only just come up with it, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do if she hated the very idea of a falling garden.

So we spent six months together digging through theory books and then spell books. Madam Florence gave us a couple pointers after I told her what we were working on, which helped direct us a little better. Neither of us had classes anymore, so we spent nearly all our time on the Garden.

I mean, we took breaks, of course, but otherwise we worked on the Garden. Even during meals we'd talk about the Garden. I'd tell Cassandra about a spell I'd just read about that probably wouldn't work, but it's kind of nifty anyway. And she'd just watch me with a warm smile and something fond in her eyes. Then it would be her turn to tell me about a new addition to the communal greenhouse and how it would be perfect for the Garden. And her eyes would light up and her hands would illustrate the shapes of the flowers, and I would lose my breath watching her.

(Cassandra and I did miss the occasional party or movie night, which was fine, though that did mean we missed some gossip. By all accounts, Imelda and Octavia had a huge falling out after one movie, where apparently Imelda stormed out after the screaming match. I'd heard she ended up at an art museum of some sort. Considering her talent, I'd hate to see what that place looked like when she was done.)

Every so often, we'd stop early for the day to help someone pack or throw them a farewell party. Slowly but surely, our classmates were finding work away from the Conclave and leaving. Veronica moved to Paris. Lucinda ended up in Silicon Valley. Kiara went back to Mumbai. I didn't ask Cassandra when she would be moving. She didn't ask me either.

And then, abruptly, it was done. --

I had spent so much time with Cassandra focused on finishing the project, of creating the Garden, that I had completely forgotten Madam Constance's words.

It was only after the final spell was cast and the growing tension surrounding us had snapped, sending flowers skyward, that I remembered. Cassandra was looking around the room in awe, spinning in wide circles to see the entire thing. Any other time, I would have been held spellbound, completely captivated by the sheer joy on her face. As it was, I stared blankly at the far wall in horror, a cold sinking feeling washing over my as I realized that I hadn't been paying attention. The heavy weight of my unfulfilled promise hung on me, and I almost stumbled.

My thoughts flickered wildly. What had she said? "Blood" was one of the things, right? I looked over my hands desperately. Had any of the flowers cut me? The leaves? What else had she said? "Sweat", maybe? There hadn't been that much physical activity, and Cassandra had done most of the actual plant work that had been required. What about--

"Hey," Cassandra said softly, grabbing my hands gently and holding them. "What's wrong?"

"I--" Her brown eyes were full of concern, so I looked over her head at the slowly tumbling flowers. I wasn't sure how to tell her. How did I explain that all the work we had done had been wasted? That it had slipped my mind, and as a result I was back to the beginning and completely out of ideas?

"It's yours," I told her helplessly, dropping my gaze back to hers. "It's your Gift, Cassandra."

Her hands were warm on mine, and one slipped out to brush my cheek and gently cup the side of my face. "No, Shiraz," she said. "It's ours."

I felt lighter than I had in months, the touch of her hand sending butterflies wild in my stomach. It took me a moment to realize that the giddy weightlessness wasn't just from feeling her skin on mine. The oppressive mantle of the Gift had been lifted, my promise fulfilled. A Gift offered, accepted, and delivered. "Oh," I breathed.

That's when Cassandra kissed me.

So I guess it all worked out.

--

Looking back at all of this from the benefit of a decade's distance, I'm pretty sure what Madam Constance meant was that any child required sacrifice, dedication, and commitment, whether the child was human or not. The "heart, soul, sweat, blood, and tears" she had mentioned were more of a metaphor than a literal checklist.

(It took me a couple years to figure that part out.)

A/N: This story was partially inspired by “Falling Garden” by Gerda Steiner & Jorg Lenzlinger

[forest-of-stories]

Fanfic Writer’s Year in Review!

I was tagged by @letterblade! <333

The following post will focus stories that I posted in their entirety on AO3 in 2018, and so will not include my X-Men: Evolution WIP Ordinary Town (which I started posting in 2017 and will probably finish this year), or most of the scenes in my Knight and Mage AU (although they total almost 5,000 words, which is Not Too Shabby).

Also, I’m skipping a couple of questions about character and pairing breakdowns.  Spoiler: while I wrote in a few different fandoms last year, I probably wrote more about one character and pairing than all of the others combined.

The stories...

Black Lightning:

Overridden (110 words)

Doctor Who

Three Heads Are Better (180 words)

Gravity Falls:

Like Something From A Dream (635 words)

Odd Twins Out (640 words)

Most Likely To Stay Weird (160 words)

Following Ghosts (1,020 words)

Tell You Anything (500 words)

Seen And Not Heard (2,940 words)

Only One Step Away (200 words)

Star Wars:

Treading Water (380 words)

Your Own Heart As Signal (500 words)

Light Me Up Again (415 words)

Mark My Words (600 words)

Secrets Silenced By The Shame (515 words)

Thank You For Sharing (310 words)

Fold Your Wings (165 words)

Stranger Things:

Missing Girls (560 words)

Tortall:

And We Are Left Standing (340 words)

Set Alight (400 words)

Wrapped In Darkness (465 words)

To See A Friend Go Down in Flames (1,000 words)

Those Seasons Made Up And Undone (1,815 words)

Moves and Countermoves (1,060 words)

We Were Meant To Be Sparks of Light (335 words)

Dreams Of The Spider (1,135 words)

Merciless Kisses (435 words)

If Your Strife Strikes At Your Sleep (670 words)

Sealed With A Spell (185 words)

The Cold Is Closing In (2,072 words)

In Winter Light (608 words)

Great Minds Together (240 words)

And I Start To Drown (1,895 words)

Only The Finest (185 words)

Captive Listener (240 words)

Flight of Curiosity (535 words)

Out Of The Rain (200 words)

As I Burn Up In Your Presence (2,412 words)

Total Fics: 37 Total Words:  c. 30,000

Specifics…

Best/worst title?

Best title:  Excluding the ones that come from songs (which is many of them)? I’m pretty happy with “Flight of Curiosity” and “Mark My Words,” both of which contain puns/double meanings while also – I think – saying something about the characters or tone of the stories.

Worst title: “In Winter Light” is serviceable, but I think I could have done better, and consequently ended up with one less title that included some variation on the word “light.”

Best/worst first line?

Best first line:  The shape of Arram’s mind is as familiar as the long, lean body that trembles beneath Ozorne’s hands.  (”Great Minds Together”) 

Really, what’s better than a sexy mindmeld between mage boyfriends who will one day be enemies? Nothing, that’s what.

Worst first line:  Alex sometimes feels more than a little bit dazed after talking to his knight-master, and so it takes him a moment to react – a moment that could have cost his life in a fight – when another familiar voice calls his name. (”And I Start To Drown”)

I’ve written a few first lines that tried to establish too much in one go, and that’s definitely one of them.

Best/worst last line?

Best last line: Much later, lying sore and spent in the darkness, Alex still isn’t sure whether he’s been punished or forgiven. (”Merciless Kisses”)

I think that does a good job of conveying something that I hope is apparent throughout my Tortall Trash Fire fics: that Alex almost but doesn’t quite realize how bad Roger is for him.

Worst last line: Alex turns another page, still uneasy, but certain that Roger will know what to do. He always knows. (”Those Seasons Made Up and Undone”)

I’m proud of that story, for the most part, but that line didn’t wrap it up as elegantly as I would have liked.

General questions…

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I can rarely predict these things.  My total number of works is higher than it’s been in past years, but some of those works are really, really tiny.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Tortall, without question.  I read and reread the Song of the Lioness books when I was younger, but another fan’s incidental comment about Alex motivated me to take another look at them.  And even when I realized how much the implications about his relationship with Roger (which mostly unfolds behind the scenes) pushed all of my buttons, I’m not sure I could have predicted that I’d be writing so much about it.

I am also not a huge fan of Rey/Kylo (though I totally understand why some people are!), so “Thank You For Sharing” was also decidedly unexpected, though I don’t plan to write them doing anything more than fantasizing about each other.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Probably “The Cold Is Closing In.”  There’s a lot of unexplored potential in Alex’s relationship with his own squire, and it’s always fun to write a character that understands a lot less than the reader (especially if someone else is manipulating their perceptions).

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

I was bemused to find out that “Secrets Silenced By The Shame” had the most kudos, especially since it was a Dead Dove ficlet written for a kink meme, focusing on the pain and anguish of a character about whom I have very mixed feelings, and I hid it behind an “Anonymous Creator” byline until very recently. Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I would have liked to see “Following Ghosts” get some more love, especially since the Gravity Falls fandom seems pretty fond of Wendy (as well we should be).

I always have a hard time answering this question, and it’s even trickier when thinking about the past year, since my most recent primary fandom is not what I would call a hotbed of activity, at least on AO3.  (They have a message board that is somewhat busier, but I haven’t investigated it much.)

Story that could have been better?

“Set Alight” could have worked better as part of a longer work (I can even guess at which one), but I was still very much testing those fannish waters at that point, so I can sort of understand why I was like, “Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks.”

Sexiest story?

I’m very happy with the third section of “Those Seasons Made Up and Undone,” which I think is Hot Wrong all over the place, but “As I Burn Up In Your Presence” had more sexy (and also Wrong) bits, and I’m pretty happy with those, too.

Saddest story?

Everything about Alex’s downward spiral is saddening to me. “To See a Friend Go Down in Flames” gives an outsider perspective on that spiral, so maybe that one.  “Missing Girls” and “Secrets Silenced by the Shame” are also meant to evoke a lot of pity and horror for the characters, and “Your Own Heart as Signal” is very much about grief, so maybe those.

Most fun?

“Most Likely to Stay Weird” (Waddles for Most Valuable Pig!). Story with single sweetest moment?

Either Kali giving Eleven calming visions in “Missing Girls” or the OT3 snuggles in “Flight of Curiosity.”

Hardest story to write?

I had never tried anything like the structure of “Seen And Not Heard,” and it took a fair amount of trial and error before I figured how to organize the sections and transition between them.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

“Merciless Kisses” (it helped that I had a really good set of prompts), or “Moves and Countermoves” (I often cackle when writing Roger, but probably never more than when he was trying to get under Myles’ skin).

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

The need for a fifth POV in “To See A Friend Go Down in Flames” gave rise to some very persistent headcanons about Geoffrey, a character who gets little to no canon characterization.  Also, although my Thoughts About Kylo Ren would probably derail this post more than any of us want or need, I sure did write a lot about his feelings last year.

Most overdue story?

“Following Ghosts” and “Seen And Not Heard” are both based on ideas that I’d referenced in previous works and wanted to follow up on ever since.  On the other hand, I’ve wanted to write the exact scenario in “Three Heads Are Better” for roughly a dozen years.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I think I learned a little bit more about how to set and contextualize a scene from the structure of “Seen And Not Heard,” which was, again, a pretty big risk.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

The first ones that come to mind are: wrap up this round of H/C Bingo, whip another “You Cannot Save Him With Your Love, Geoffrey” story into shape, and finally finish Ordinary Town.  More or less in that order.

I’ll tag @ellekess and anybody else who wants to do it!

[kirkegaardbendtsen14-blog]

Download and install Nds Child.

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[kpopcorn-requests]

admin lil’s q & a that was supposed to be a video but now is a mass post

so since youtube won’t upload my stupid video I’m just going to answer the questions I got in my messages here and I’ll answer the other ones in the asks i got them in (unless you sent them to my other blog, they will be answered here too)

okay here we goooooooo

the anons from my main blog asked:

hello beautiful~ for your video: do you have any tips on how to become a greater writer? 

Hey there! I have a couple so I hope this helps!

Don’t rush yourself. It’s easier said than done, but if you rush yourself, your writing is rushed too, and the readers can tell. If you take your time, you can write your thoughts better and you over all feel better about what you wrote.

Describe details vividly!! It is way more attention grabbing and hooking than just simple details. It’s also easier for you to describe the image as you see it in your head, and if you want your readers to visualize it the same, vivid details make it easier. (for example: The girl was blonde and blue eyed. OR The honey blonde girl had striking sky blue eyes.) That’s how I like to do my details. 

Be yourself. Everyone has their own writing style and writing process, and even if you like someone else’s, it will feel forced and come off as such. Take influence, but don’t copy it. Write the way that makes you comfortable! 

I hope these help<3

I LOVE YOU- okay, so what do you like to do besides writing and seeing kpop stuff? 

I love you too!! I like to listen to music and watch crack videos on youtube lmao. I draw some but it sucks. I also sing! I like to hang out with my sister too! (She’s like me but older and more mature lmao)

Do you prefer horror movies or dramatic movies? In fact, what's your favorite movie genre? 

Is neither an option? Horror movies freak me out and dramatic movies either make me sad or bore me. If I have to pick, I guess I would go with horror. And I like superhero movies! Not really a genre, but I like how it’s like a mixture of comedy and action and drama, ya know?

Hey!! Just some questions for your video: cat person or dog person? you prefer to read you-fanfic or member x member fanfic? Do you like to read fanfic? If so, do you have any favorite writers or a favorite platform (ao3, fanfiction. net, etc)?  

Heyo~ I am more of a dog person personally! I love both but puppies are my weakness. (but cats make me very happy too) I do like to read fanfic! And what I read 

@buriedindreams asked me:

What is something you've always wanted to do?

I’ve always wanted to travel, and now I have so many internet friends (Like Admin Lionheart and you and Miche and Cassie and Kathryn) that I want to travel to meet you guys! 

If you could say anything to your past self, what would it be? 

It gets better. It’s super stereotypical but I went through some hard mental shit when I was younger. That or, don’t change yourself to make your friends like you more, it’s dumb and you’ll just change yourself back later.

Who was your first kpop bias? 

While I found Seventeen first, the first group I stanned was EXO and my first bias was Kai

Do you have any regrets? What are they?

I hate that my temper is so quick, so I have a lot of regrets revolving around me overreacting, and there is this recent thing but I don’t want to get into that.

Do you have a playlist of songs to listen to on bad days? 

I actually have a playlist titled “angst” so I listen to that or to Broadway musicals like Hamilton or The School of Rock

Have you ever cosplayed? 

No! But I really want to. My family and I have agreed that if we ever have the money to go to ComiCon that we will cosplay as X-Men 

What would be the "perfect day" for you? 

Talking to my friends, having no stress, getting enough sleep and having no homework lmao. maybe watching movies too? I like movies a lot

What are your biggest fears? 

spiders, snakes and losing all of my close family/friends for dumb decisions I make

Any pet peeves? 

hmmm I guess hypocrites and people who talk so much I can’t respond. or people not taking the blame for their actions

What was the pettiest thing you've done? 

I once dated a guy for three hours because I felt sorry for him (a dick move I know but I would have stayed with him longer [maybe] if he didn’t tell me he loved me two hours into dating)

How did you and your best friend meet? 

In real life? She’s my college roommate and we met on the first day of class. 

Online? tumblr. 

How did you discover kpop? 

Youtube! 

Who is your ultimate bias? 

Johnny Seo, Amber Liu, and Lee Sanghyuk

Do you have any kpop merch? 

I have a BTS hoodie and MANY cd’s but nothing other than that

What would you say to your favorite group/bias upon meeting them? (Doesn't have to be kpop) 

Assuming I haven’t fainted or that I’m not ugly crying at that point, I would tell them that they are doing such a great job, thank them for doing what they do, and tell them to rest well/eat well  *cough cough* mark lee

Do any of you non internet friends like kpop?

I have one friend who thinks Jackson Wang is hot and she listen to Got7 sometimes, that’s it lmao

If you could go on a road trip with your friends (internet or non) where would you go? What would you do?

I love the idea of going with a group of friends and each person picking ne specific spot they want to go, and then making a trip out of those spots. and well, with what we did, i guess it would depend where we went? 

Have you ever traveled outside the country, and if not, where would you want to go? 

I have not! and I really want to go to Ireland, Thailand, and Korea. Those are the main places.

Do you have any pets? 

I have three cats and two dogs! One labrador mix named Angel, a rescue pit mix named Watson, and then two black cats, Smalls and Morpheus, and a gray striped cat named Smokey!

Do you cry easily when watching sad movies?

HELL YES I’m so sensitive to sad things. like even a hint of death and I’m sobbing

Any movie or show recommendations? 

Tv shows, I love Stanger Things, Mudrock Mysteries, Bones, Drama World, Danny Phantom and Full Metal Alchemist (all of these can be found on netflix)

Movie wise, I like Spiderman: Homecoming, Atomic Blonde, Wonder Woman, Weird Science and the Power Ranger movie! 

Any song recommendations? 

OH GOD okay i listen to music everyday so here we go 

Sugar You - Oh Honey

Thunder - Imagine Dragons

Where Did The Party Go - Fall Out Boy

Trees - Twenty One Pilots

Friend Please - Twenty One Pilots

Bad At Love - Halsey

Oh Love - Misterwives

My Type - Saint Motel 

Innocent Love - Astro 

Go Go - BTS

Confession Song - Got7

Exodus - Exo

The Eve - Exo

 Loser - BigBang 

Sober - BigBang 

What’s Wrong - iKon 

M.U.P - iKon

Liar Liar - Oh My Girl

Red Light - f(x)

Sentimental - Winner

Really Really - Winner

Walk You Home - NCT Dream

0 Mile - NCT 127

Sherlock - Shinee

What is your style of fashion? 

I guess I’m grunge? I wear a lot of dark colors and like... chokers and heavy makeup and converse and stuff like that. I don’t know tbh lmao

@jaehyunskitten22 asked me:

What is your least favorite thing about kpop? 

How it’s so sexualized!! and how idols think they have to risk their health for us, and how some fandoms are the actual worst and uhhh i guess that’s it

what makes you attracted to your bias? 

this sounds weird but i really like his hands and his lips? and of course he’s fucking hialrious and so sweet and i just ... i love him

Have you always liked writing? 

yeah! i used to write to vent lmao

What first comes to mind when you think of your bias? 

hands, hair and humor, the true triple H lmao

@haneun-seomie asked me:

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? 

Pasta or pizza! I like cheese and carbs lmao (also i’m pro pineapple on pizza, fite me bout it)

YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? 

X-Men First Class, The Nightmare Before Christmas or Big Hero 6!

How did you meet kpop?! 

Youtube recommended me Seventeen’s debut video!

How old were you when you started writing? 

Writing in general, I was about 11 maybe? Writing kpop, I was 16

Are you happy with your writing now or do you want to improve more? 

I am happy with how I write now, but I still think I can definitely improve more, so yes to both. 

How can you be so cute? 

BABY AWW This is adorable why are you so adorable

fun fact: when i have bad days, i just think of how hard we flirted when we weren’t dating. it was hella obvious but we were both oblivious

What are you planning to work on? 

If you mean career wise, I want to be a kindergarten/primary school teacher.

Project wise, I want to finish my vampire k!idol story!

Do you want a life-long career or you are open to changes in your profession in the future (if they come)?

I would prefer a stable career but if I find something that makes me happier, then I will definitely go for that. I just want to happy basically. 

@heartofafae asked me:

What's your favorite color?

Teal or aqua! (these shades)

 Are you in to any other fandoms? 

Kind of? I’m into superheroes (both Marvel and DC) and Disney. 

What's your dream vacation? 

Travelling!! Anywhere really! (Although... you know. Brazil would be hella awesome!)

What's your dream job? 

i’m in college, majoring in Early Childhood/Elementary Education, so a kindergarten teacher is my dream job!

Do you have a specific style/aesthetic? 

Style wise, I usually go for more grunge stuff? I don’t usually wear heels, but I wear dark colors and shorts, mainly.

Aesthetic wise, black and white with pops of teal and blue is my aesthetic!

How'd you get into kpop?

youtube recommended Seventeen’s debut music video to me, actually

Who was your first bias, and are they still your bias? 

My first bias was Kai from Exo, I guess? And no, he’s not. My Exo bias is Chanyeol now!

My first ultimate was Key from Shinee, but that’s also a no. Johnny owns my ass now. 

My first female ultimate was Amber from f(x) and yes, she still is my female ult!

Have you ever been to a Kpop concert? 

no, sadly. I’m planning on going to a kpop mini-con my city is having in november, and that will technically be my first kpop experience that isn’t online

I have however been to three other concerts! Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco and Twenty One Pilots!

How did you get into making texts/snaps/ect? 

I actually found a Magcon blog do them when I was hella into the Magcon boys (that was such a traumatic time for me they are so problematic) and I thought they were cool. and then i got into kpop and i wanted to make a blog but do something kind of different so.. I made this blog!

What's your favorite music video? 

Power by Exo is high on the list, as well as Fire by BTS, BoomBoom by Seventeen, Baby by Astro, My Page by NCT Dream, Cherry Bomb by NCT 127, and Still 24K by 24k. Those are probably the only ones that I’ve watched over and over again, boy group wise.

Girl group wise, Hate by 4minute, 4 Walls by f(x) and Ah Yeah by Exid are super good videos that I like.

Do you also like kdrama? 

I actually haven’t watched any but if you guys have any recommendations, I would love to take them! 

Who's your favorite boy group? 

why do you hate me

UHHH NCT Dream or Astro right now, actually.

Favorite girl group? 

f(x) or Exid!<3

@unironic-shitposter asked:

What got me into kpop?

That fateful day that YouTube recommended the Seventeen Adore U music video for me the day they debuted

How long have I been into kpop?

Almost two years!!

Where are you from?

Alabama in the United States of America!

Have you ever moved?

Cities, yes. States or countries, no. 

What’s your all time favorite song, both kpop and not kpop?

My favorite songs change all the time, so these are it right now. 

* non Kpop- Sugar You - Oh Honey or If Only You Would Listen - The School Of Rock Broadway Cast

* Kpop- What Can I Say - Day6 or Power - EXO