#I was getting better while the X-Men were my primary fandom

[kiragecko]

I started drawing with comics characters, and this has dogged my art for 25 years.

Not even because I want to draw nonbinary characters. Though, I do.

I want to draw LADIES. But there are so many exaggerated elements that I'm used to, that ONLY work for thin fem characters. So many short cuts and assumptions I need to deconstruct.

I want to draw characters that I can put in hijab. Most superhero comics encode SO MUCH body information into the waistline that their characters lose cohesion if it's not defined.

I want to draw fat characters. Once again, comics characters can start reading ... wrong if you add fat in certain places. Visual shorthand stops working.

Comics are one of the few places where long-haired guys usually look weird to me, rather than attractive. Something about the 'acceptable' facial structures, necks, and shoulders.

There are SO MANY types of cheek-bones, jawlines, and facial structures I just can't figure out how to do! Because the art I've seen doesn't actually DRAW those parts of the face, or simplifies it too much for me to be able to do anything different. And any attempt to do something different ends up looking like racial caricature. (This is related to gender for the same reason that WOC get called 'unfeminine'. Because a soft, lineless face with a gentle jawline is the essential signifier of femininity in this style of art.)

I don't do art often enough to motivate me to DO that work deconstructing my visual shorthand, and not having done the work kills a lot of my motivation to draw. And I don't have QUITE enough fundamentals to just passively pick up skill by looking at art, the way I do with writing.

It's frustrating!

Your first mistake in art is thinking you draw men and women inherently differently

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 15: Forever

Fandom: Inception

Pairing: Robert Fischer x OC

Summary: Maurice has some opinions regarding Robert and Alice’s future.

Word Count: 1,354

Notes: Warnings for depictions of Maurice Fischer being a shitty father (as usual).   

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Robert winced at the way that his father groaned, head lolling from side to side in the hospital bed, muttering incoherently to himself. 

“Dad?” setting aside the papers he’d been reading over, he leaned forward. “Are you okay? You in pain?”

The drugs that the doctors had him on were powerful. Robert wasn’t entirely sure that his father even knew that he was there.

“Wanted her gone…” his father babbled nonsensically. “Just wanted her gone. Will ruin your life…”

Robert frowned.

“Just wanted you to see the truth…about her…”

Robert felt his temper spike. It was obvious who his father was babbling about. He and Alice had been together for years, and yet his father continued to disapprove. To turn his nose up at Alice every chance he got.

Robert suspected that he was still clinging to a sliver of hope that they would break up at some point. 

He’d done everything in his power to try to place himself between them. To protect Alice from the brunt of his father’s cruelty. Both of them knew that there was nothing they could do to convince his father that Alice was anything more than a selfish gold digger.  

Robert had often suspected that the primary motivation for why his father had shoved other women onto him so aggressively had been in an attempt to drive Alice away. A method that had actually worked, if only briefly. Not to mention that he still tried it, every now and then. At galas or parties. Various social functions. Robert always turned them away, of course, but there were times when he spotted a flash of insecure nervousness wash across Alice’s face.

It really wasn’t fair to her. And while he was not often someone who got genuinely angry, or shouted, the way that his father treated her had been the subject of several rare screaming matches between him and his father.

“Alice loves me,” he growled at him, gathering up his papers. And then, because he was in a particularly spiteful mood, “which is a lot more than can be said for you.”  

Shoving the papers into his briefcase, he headed for the door, opening it only to nearly run headlong into Uncle Peter.

“Robert. Are you leaving?” he asked, noting the briefcase.

“Yeah. He’s completely out of it. No reason to stay,” Robert responded curtly.

“She’s an ugly, selfish bitch, son…” his father muttered from the hospital bed. Robert felt his hands ball into fists.

“And if I have to sit around and listen to him spout that kind of shit again, I’m going to smother him,” he added, shouldering past Uncle Peter and into the hallway.

“Robert.”

He groaned as his godfather began to follow him. “What?”

“Your father just wants what’s best for you.”

“Do not defend him on this, Uncle Peter.”

“Look, son, I like Alice. She’s a good kid and she’s good for you. But…”

“But what?” Robert did not like where this was heading. Uncle Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.

“When it comes to…to marriage, Robert, it might be better to consider someone more…”

Robert came to a screeching halt. “More…what?”

“More suitable to your station in life, son.”

He stared at Uncle Peter in silent fury. “Get away from me,” he said, darkly.

“No one is saying that you can’t still see her. It would just have to be more as a…well, in the capacity as a…erm…”

“As a what? What? Make her my…my mistress? My side-piece? Is that what you’re suggesting?” Robert felt like he was going to throw up.

“It’s what most men in your position do, Robert.”

“We aren’t having this conversation,” he began to walk away again.

“Robert,” Uncle Peter scrambled to follow him. “Robert, your father will never, ever allow you to marry Alice. You understand that, right?”

Robert swallowed around the lump in his throat, rage making his mind feel hazy. Uncle Peter sighed.

“Maurice and I were planning on having this conversation with you together, goddammit,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Robert. 

“Oh, that makes it better,” he growled sarcastically.

“Robert, he will cut you off. From everything. I’ve tried to change his mind, but he won’t budge. Not on this.”

“We’re not even engaged or anything,” Robert complained. Not that the thought hadn’t entered his mind, but he was waiting for the right time. 

“No, but you’ve been together for a good long while, now.”

“Maybe I’ll just wait until he’s dead,” Robert spat bitterly. “From the looks of things, that won’t be long now.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Robert sighed. He was exhausted. Couldn’t they all just give him a bit of peace? Was that too much to ask? “Maybe I do, Uncle Peter.”

“Your father loves you, Robert.”

He laughed at that, a bitter, angry sound. “Then why has he spent so much time working to make my life miserable, Uncle Peter?”

“Rob–”

“I don’t want to have this conversation again, Uncle Peter. I mean it. Alice isn’t going anywhere. I love her. I’m going home.”

Ignoring Uncle Peter’s calls of his name, he walked out the doors to the hospital and got in his car, sighing and burying his face in his hands. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“You’re quiet,” Alice commented, leaning against him on the couch, lazily dragging a toy across the carpet for the cats to chase.

“Am I?”

“Mhm. Everything okay at the hospital?”

“Oh, you know. The same,” he considered telling her about his conversation with Uncle Peter, then sighed. There really was no point in trying to keep it from her. He would tell her about it eventually; he always did. “Uncle Peter wanted to talk about my…future, I guess.”

“Your future at the company?” Alice asked, head cocking to look up at him.

“No,” he huffed. “My future involving you.”

Brows raising, she set the cat toy down, sitting up to more properly look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that apparently it was very important to both of them that it be known that if I ever marry you, I can expect to never see a single piece of my inheritance.”

“Oh,” for a sliver of a moment, he saw the hurt cross her face at the rejection from his family, and he felt like the worst person in the world to have to have told her that. But she recovered fast, shrugging at the news. “Well, that’s not entirely a surprise.” 

Robert touched her face. “It’s not fair,” he whispered. Alice cocked her head, looking at him softly, turning her head to nose at his palm.

“We’ll be okay. We don’t need to be married to be together.”

“I know,” he pouted. “But I would like to marry you.”

Her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink under his palm. “I’d like that too.”

Humming, he craned his head down enough to kiss her. “We just have to wait until Dad dies, I guess.”

“You don’t suppose that he could put it in his will that if you ever marry me you lose your inheritance, do you?” she asked. Robert started.

“I don’t–he can’t do that…can he?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Fuck the inheritance, then. I’ll marry you anyway.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t throw away your whole future just for me…”

“You’re my future,” he said, cradling her cheeks, pulling her more firmly on top of him on the couch. Alice kissed him, passionately enough for him to know without her saying that she agreed.

“We have time,” she said. He nodded.

“Old man can’t live forever.”

“Don’t say that! Now he’ll live until he’s a hundred.”

Robert chuckled, pecking the side of her neck, breathing in the scent of her soap. “Will you love me forever?” he asked, voice smaller than he had intended for it to sound. Sitting up, though still close enough for her nose to brush against his, Alice smiled.

“For ever and ever, Robbie,” she promised, lips ghosting over his.

“Good,” his palm flattened across her back, pressing her flush against him. “Good. Me too.”

She laughed sweetly, and let him pull her closer.

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[lucyadresearchlab]

Week 6 - 29th October How does my design respond to my research

My project is based around the contribution fashion has in music fandoms. I started off by researching the history of fashion in music especially in subcultures as early as MODS, Punk and Hippies.

I've also looked at specific examples of musicians and bands who really involve fashion into what they do as well as fashion designers who work with musicians.

I also conducted primary research to gain a better understanding of what the public think about fashion in music, such as do they get involved with these trends, do they express themselves through fashion and is this related to the music they listen to. I also asked if they take part in any fandoms or subcultures currently or in the past. It was mostly Generation Z who answered my questionnaire however there were also some people from Generation X who said they were part of a fandom or subculture when they were younger. I think a lot of the people who are part of these tend to be teenagers or of the younger generations at the time as it helps give them a sense of identity and a safe place when they are still developing as people.

This is why I chose to target my band towards the younger generations (Gen Z and Gen Alpha) as they are the most likely to want a new band to listen to and look up to. Since the band will be online it also makes sense that they would be catered towards younger people who are more familiarised with technology. However it will still be open to anyone of any age but naturally it will cater to one demographic more than others.

When looking at the history of the contribution fashion has had in music it has almost always related to a social, environmental or political issue. Targeting a certain issue, usually against a certain community including; racism, women's rights, lgbtq+ rights, class issues and environmental issues. This has resonated with people for over many decades as they then see it as a way for them to express their opinions and ideas through clothes ad the music of their favourite bands while also creating a sense of community with others.

I then asked in my questionnaire what people like about what their favourite bands stand for and most people said that they like that they have similar morals to them, this is because it makes fans feel seen and feel like they can relate to their favourite musicians. These similar morals include; political rights, green issues, diversity, equality, lgbtq rights, womens rights and general human rights.

So with this I aimed for my band to include these attributes. Hence why my band has a diverse mixture of both men and women, races and people of the lgbtq+ community. With this hopefully people will have at least one member that they see aspects of themselves in whether thats physical attributes, style, personalities, or other characteristics such as similar morals.

[leportraitducadavre]

On Itachi, his fandom, and moral standpoints

Once again I come back with a meta, unsurprisingly, of Naruto’s manga and, more specifically, about a character in particular, Uchiha Itachi, his fandom and what it entails and represents. My decision to make him the primary focus of this meta is just to bring light (open the door for more in depth debates) of a deeper, much more complicated problem that Itachi represents, but undoubtedly surpasses him and the Naruto manga as a whole.

Be warned, my take on Itachi’s fandom does not contemplate those fans who merely enjoy him but do not negate important parts of his character, if that’s your particular case, then be assured that I did not have you in my mind when writing this. This is about, let’s say, the hardcore fandom he possesses, that justifies (and to some extent, celebrates) his implications in the UCM and blindfold loyalty to Konoha and its system.

How can I even begin to introduce Itachi’s character? What he was supposed to be and what he surprisingly became? How to start to explain his fenomenon? Itachi was not supposed to be good, from his introduction he was a manipulative, dark character that tortured physically and mentally Sasuke and was a threat to Naruto’s (the protagonist) life. At no point during the first part of the manga were we able to see glimpses of a “good” Itachi that the narrative later on tried to establish, and yet, there were three (conected) factors of imperative importance to understand the raise of his character from the first part of the manga to the other. 

The first one was, let’s call it, his intrinsecal persona's appeal (and everything it encompases).

Itachi’s not the first cryptic male character that gets favored by a large part of the fandom for that mere trait (look at any shönen or show and see how many characters whose sole trait is to be mysterious becomes the fandom’s favorite), added to the fact that he’s powerful enough to subdue men who’s status of geniuses are often highlighted in the manga (Orochimaru and Kakashi), and his... physical charm, you have a powerful combo to make readers incline more and more on his favor. Itachi had sparked their interest. 

There are boxes to fill to attract the public interest to a character, and Itachi filled in all of them. 

The Power-Mystery-Beauty triangle is not an unknown formula (Christian Gray, Edward Cullen, to name characters from mainstream, from other manga there is Light, now surprisingly, Dabi) and in every fiction work it has appeared, it worked to lure the (female) public towards it.

But is that enough? For some, yes, for most, Itachi represents something that they desired profoundly, and that’s entirely attached to Sasuke’s character.

Even back in the first part of the manga, Sasuke’s character was received mixedly, there were people who saw his personality as too abrasive (similar to Itachi’s but because Sasuke was supposed to be with the nice guys, this aspect of him clashed rather harshly with his position on the narrative) and considered him a mere emo who believed himself to be better than Naruto and Sakura (he was, but he also acknowledged this fact, which make some readers disapprove of him even more). 

Itachi challenged that “so-called” superiority, additionally downgrading and humiliating him in a way readers felt he, to some extent, deserved. The dislike of part of the fandom of Sasuke’s character found a way of purchase inside the manga. Naruto wasn’t strong enough (and eventually cared too much) to subdue Sasuke, Sakura was too in awe with him to “stand up against him”, Kakashi saw his greatness and taught him powerful jutsus while paying zero attention to his other students. Until Itachi, no other character seemed to put Sasuke “in his place”, because even the villains of each arc seemed particularly obsessed with Sasuke and Sasuke only, elevating even more his importance and status and sidelining Naruto and (of course), Sakura, who were left with mere participations in what seemed a Sasuke-focused plot. Up at this point, Sasuke was far more important than the actual protagonist of the manga but Itachi, who was actually Sasuke’s goal, who was actually the person Sasuke aspired to surpass, abused him, manipulated him and -more importantly- seemed more focused on getting Naruto -hence, retribution: the only person Sasuke seemed to care about didn’t seem care about him at all.

Itachi’s coolness, strength and mature handsomeness (that Sasuke did not present until Shippuden, but Itachi was literally introduced with), plus the dislike of Sasuke’s character and the belief that he needed to be rectified, the reason of which will be brought up next, appealed the teenage fandom in a way strong enough to catapult him inside the popularity polls just right after his presentation. 

The Self-inserts inside Itachi’s fandom

As I introduced, a large part of the fandom back in the first part already, and in Shippuden particularly, had a deep dislike of Sasuke’s character and wanted him to suffer -to be beaten, to be “owned”, Itachi’s character fulfilled that wish, which takes me to the second factor. 

You can’t explain this point in particular without adding the “self-insert” and “reader-insert” notions that often gets attached to Itachi (Sakura, Naruto and Hinata) fans, 

“Self-insertion is a practice by authors of writing themselves into their own stories, either explicitly or in thinly-disguised form; in a fannish context this most often means fan writers writing themselves into their favorite source material so that they can interact with canon or its characters” (X)

Whilst

“Reader-Insert is a type of fanfiction, almost always written in 2nd person Point of View; the protagonist is always the reader, and is usually paired with one of the canon characters. "Reader-insert" typically has a hyphen hyphen, but is also known as Canon X Reader (sometimes CanonXReader).” (X)

In this particular case, many readers had succumbed to something slightly in between. The manga doesn’t belong to them, so the only one in position to literally self-insert is Kishimoto (canonically), so they are left with the option of attaching themselves personally to a pre-existed character with whom they feel somewhat represented. If not, then at least they attach emotionally to a character because it represents what they desire (this can be more observed in the shipping part of the fandom). Meaning, they use a canon established character that is not literally the reader, but who clearly represents them or represents what they want in their significant (romantical) other. 

Sakura was the only female lead who had a crush on the cool guy, readers (particular female ones) didn’t need much to feel a connection with her (during the first part, Kishimoto didn’t even give them much to do so, but they still attached to her with the prospect of what she might become), while Naruto was the dead last, it appealed to those who also felt that they weren’t popular or were mistreated by their peers.

But what the self-inserts of Sakura or even Naruto had to do with the increasing love for Itachi? 

To explain this in a way that can be understandable: Sakura fans who believed Sasuke disrespected her when not acknowledging her feelings or when downgrading her skills often turned their attention to the man of similar physique and strength to fulfill their fantasies of reciprocation -because canonically, Itachi had neither rejected, nor downgraded her character. In the same fashion, Naruto fans who believe Sasuke is egotistical by not caring for/acknowledging Naruto in the same manner he does (hence, not deserving him), tend to also indulge in the same type of behavior previously mentioned. 

Later on, when the narrative introduces the idea that Itachi stands alongside Konoha (Naruto and Sakura), thus, against Sasuke (from an idealistic standpoint), this particular practice deepens, grows. They feel validated on their idea that Itachi will treat  their favorite character (them) better, while at the same time punishing Sasuke for rejecting them.

There are not many cases of Itachi self-inserts, I’m not denying their existence however because he did fulfilled a wish many readers had (against Sasuke), but Itachi’s self-insert part of the fandom seems to be more in terms of female character fans that desire their favorite kunoichi to be loved/desired/respected? by a powerful, handsome, mysterious character. 

Sasuke’s importance in the narrative (and character growth)

Sasuke escaping Konoha to get to Orochimaru, train, and become strong enough to defeat Itachi and avenge his clan won’t hold up for the four hundred or so chapters Naruto Shippuden lasts. After Itachi’s defeat at his hands, Sasuke had no reason not to return to Konoha, more importantly, he had no reason to fight Naruto as it was the intention and ultimate and most important clash in the manga since the introduction of their rivalry. 

Sasuke’s growth as a character (that I spoke more detailed in this post) was tied to the introduction of a deeper, more important problem: Konoha’s involvement in the UCM. It wasn’t new in Naruto to present the dichotomy and harsh truths of the shinobi system (Hyuga clan, Haku, Jinchurikis), and the intervention of Konoha’s government in the massacre of the Uchiha clan provided the narrative with a reason to have both Sasuke and Naruto fighting in different sides of the battlefield, but also presented a deeper problem: Itachi couldn’t be bad.

He couldn’t stand in the “bad” side of the field because both, that would put Naruto (the hero) in the same morally bad position, and Itachi's fandom (which was massive), was eager for redemption, they demanded it, and Naruto is not a manga that doesn’t get influenced by what its purchasers want. In consequence, they needed to justify Itachi’s actions. We can talk about how abysmally bad they did it, we can talk about how much better this problem could have been sorted out, but that is not the core of this post. 

Kishimoto loved Sasuke, I have said this before, despite the fandom wishes, he stood his ground when it came to Sasuke and his revolutionary position until the very end. Maintaining that ideal as just, put Naruto (hence, Itachi) in the wrong. But because the narrative needed Naruto to be good and in the right, he ended up justifying genocide by justifying Itachi.

Consequently, and with the appeal he earned with his introduction and the Sasuke-hate (self-inserts), Itachi became a favorite character amongst favorite characters despite being a plot holes with legs. Readers eagerly consumed whatever panel proved that Itachi was not the bad guy he was previously believed to be. (proved or at least didn’t show, Itachi still commited genocide, but we don’t get to see such attrocities so its easier to forget he slaughtered innocent people, children amongst them). Readers who liked him were desperate for the narrative’s validation.

Core of the issue

Which brings me to the core of the post and in retrospection, I have already presented it: moral standpoints. This is not new, I’m not introducing any new idea, and this is hardly something that happens solely in the Naruto’s (and most specifically Itachi’s) fandom. Liking or not a character is tied to so many subjective variables that it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a character desirable or despicable despite solid traits being commonly shared on particular troups. And yet, liking or not a character became a moral standpoint for which people judged each other on a personal level. It has happened since always, but the internet did nothing but make more accessible and public this type of clashes. Therefore, Redemption Arcs became the most precious gem inside fictional works and Naruto fell for it, and fell hard. 

It’s almost mandatory to have the narrative’s validation in order to enjoy a character freely and Naruto provided it to Itachi’s fandom. His actions were justified by the manga and the most important (and beloved) characters stood by his side, even those who were victims of him forgave his actions because there was someone (with less appeal and more morally questionable actions under his belt) to blame further. Having the narrative’s moral validation is more important than actually being in the right. 

Itachi was manipulated by the Will of Fire who he learned from Hiruzen who was passed to him by Tobirama who created it because he was raised during the Warring States Period, so his apprehension to the Uchiha was justified. It’s a train of justifications that ultimately holds no one responsible for the genocide of an entire clan/race which then becomes something bound to happen. So to save face, they use an escape goat: Danzo and the Curse of Hatred. They put the blame of the massacre to a single character and the actual victims because, well, they were genetically prone to disaster and killing them was the only way to ensure (temporary) peace.

Liking a character doesn’t automatically mean condoning its actions but because that subjective appeal became more and more the reflection of the reader’s ideals (for some reason I’m not here to trace), those two actions merged, which translated consequently into demanding the narrative’s validation of our tastes. There’s no denial of the pleasing sensation that comes with having the plot’s endorsement for liking a complex/morally gray or even dark character, but that approval turned to be the most important/valuable requirement, which, in turn, made readers justificate (supported by the narrative) despicable actions, such as genocide. 

Let’s go back to the second bullet point, self- inserts, as to discern more in depth their reasons to look for a justification on Itachi’s character: Itachi (an Uchiha that was not affected by the Curse, as his peers were) who the narrative proclaims wanted his brother’s safety and happiness above all things, stands morally with Konoha (hence, the readers’ favorite character). Therefore, justifying his actions is justifying Sakura and Naruto’s actions against Sasuke (manipulation is alright because Itachi did it, trying to kill Sasuke because he didn’t want to bend to their will is alright because Itachi did it), it gives them reasons to believe that they are on the right side of the battlefield, it gives them moral superiority. They’re in the right, they are good people, Sasuke was too deep in his hatred to either see it or correspond their feelings and that’s why he needs to be saved, and who more appropriate to do so than the two characters that were mocked by him during the first part of the manga? Even in the end, Itachi still gives them the retribution they still feel deserve and that Sasuke -still- didn’t give. 

[itsclydebitches]

TBH I think the whole "You didn't have an issue with this in 'insert x show here' but you have an issue with it in RWBY? What are you, sexist?" thing can easily be defused with a simple, "How did RWBY present this plot-point compared to the show I like?"

Sure, technically Cinder Fall and Darth Maul are the 'same' character, but how are the two presented in their respective shows? Cinder eats up screentime and none of it goes anywhere and gets frustrating. Maul is a relatively minor villain that had one season's worth of attention in CW and then was the villain of a few episodes throughout Rebels before getting killed off.

The only reason someone would be confused as to why people like Maul but hate Cinder is if they just read the two's respective wiki pages.

Really the whole "Your issues with RWBY are just subconscious misogyny" is just some people wanting to slap labels onto others so they can feel validated on not agreeing with their opinions.

Generally speaking, I'm wary of any take that boils down to a single sentence, "You're just [insert accusation here]." Not because such accusations are always 100% without merit—with a canon dealing with as many sensitive subjects as RWBY, combined with a fandom as large and diverse as it has become, you're bound to come across some people whose "criticism" stems primarily from bigotry—but because such dismissive summaries never tackle the problem a fan has pointed out. If one fan goes, "Ruby's plan was foolish because [reasons]" and the response to that is "You just can't handle a woman leader," then that response has failed to disprove the argument presented. The thing about "criticism" based in bigotry is that there isn't actually a sound argument attached because, you know, the only "argument" here is "I don't like people who aren't me getting screen time." So you can spot that really easily. The person who is actually misogynistic is going to be spouting a lot of rants about how awful things are... but very little evidence as to why it's awful, leaving only the fact that our characters are women as the (stupid) answer.

And yes, there is something to be said for whether, culturally, we're harder on women characters than we are men. Are we subconsciously more critical of what women do in media simply because we have such high expectations for that representation and, conversely, have become so used to such a variety of rep for men—including endlessly subpar/outright bad stories—that we're more inclined to shrug those mistakes off? That's absolutely worth discussing, yet at the same time, acknowledging that doesn't mean those criticisms no longer exist. That's where I've been with the Blake/Yang writing for a while now. I think fans are right to point out that we may be holding them to a higher standard than we demand of straight couples, but that doesn't mean the criticisms other fans have of how the ship has been written so far are without merit. Those writing mistakes still exist even if we do agree that they would have been overlooked in a straight couple—the point is they shouldn't exist in either. Both are still bad writing, no matter whether we're more receptive to one over the other. Basically, you can be critical of a queer ship without being homophobic. Indeed, in an age where we're getting more queer rep than ever before, it's usually the queer fans who are the most critical. Because we're the ones emotionally invested in it. The true homophobes of the fandom either dropped RWBY when the coding picked up, or spend their time ranting senselessly about how the ship is horrible simply because it exists, not because of how it's been depicted. Same for these supposed misogynists. As a woman, I want to see Ruby and the others written as complex human beings, which includes having them face up to the mistakes they've made. The frustration doesn't stem from me hating women protagonists, but rather the fact that they're written with so little depth lately and continually fall prey to frustrating writing decisions.

And then yeah, you take all those feelings, frustrations, expectations, and ask yourself, "Have I seen other shows that manage this better?" Considering that RWBY is a heavily anime-inspired show where all the characters are based off of known fairy tales and figures... the answer is usually a resounding, "Yes." As you say, I keep coming across accusations along the lines of, "People were fine with [insert choice here] when [other show] did it," as if that's some sort of "Gotcha!" moment proving a fan was bigoted all along, when in fact the answer is right there: Yes, we were okay with it then because that show did it better. That show had the setup, development, internal consistency, and follow through that RWBY failed to produce, which is precisely what we were criticizing in the first place.

What I also think is worth emphasizing here is how many problems RWBY has developed over the last couple of years (combining with the problems it had at the start). Because, frankly, audiences are more forgiving of certain pitfalls when the rest of the show is succeeding. I think giving a Star Wars example exemplifies that rather well. No one is going to claim that Star Wars is without its problems (omg does it have problems lol), but there's enough good there in most individual stories to (usually) keep the fans engaged. That doesn't mean that they're not going to point out those criticisms when given the chance, just that disappointment isn't the primary feeling we come away with. Obviously in a franchise this size there are always exceptions (like the latest trilogy...), but for most it's a matter my recent response to The Bad Batch, "I have one major criticism surrounding a character's arc and its impact on the rest of the cast, and we definitely need to unpack the whitewashing... but on the whole yes, it was a very enjoyable, well written show that I would recommend to others." However, for many fans now, we can't say the same of RWBY. Yang getting KO'ed by Neo in a single hit leads into only Blake reacting to her "death" which reminds viewers of the lack of sisterly development between Yang and Ruby which segues into a subpar fight which messes with Cinder's already messy characterization which leads to Ruby randomly not using her silver eye to save herself which leaves Jaune to mercy kill Penny who already died once which gives Winter the powers when she could have just gotten it from the start which results in a favorite character dying after his badly written downfall and all of it ends with Jaune following our four woman team onto the magical island... and that's just two episodes. The mistakes snowball. RWBY's writing is broken in numerous ways and that's what fans keep pointing to. Any one of these examples isn't an unforgivable sin on its own, but the combination of all of them, continuously, representing years worth of ongoing issues results in that primary feeling of, "That was disappointing."

Looking at some of the more recent posts around here, fans aren't upset that Ruby is no longer interested in weaponry because that character trait is Oh So Important and its lack ruins the whole show, they're upset because Ruby, across the series, lacks character, so the removal of one trait is more of a problem than it would be in a better written character. What are her motivations? Why doesn't she seek answers to these important questions? Why is her special ability so inconsistent? Where's her development recently? What makes Ruby Ruby outside of wielding a scythe and wanting to help everyone, a very generic character trait for a young, innocent protagonist? We used to be able to say that part of her character was that obsession and we used to hope that this would lead to more interesting developments: Will Ruby fix/update their weapons? Is her scythe dependency the reason why others need to point out how her semblance can develop? What happens if she is weaponless? Surely that will lead to more than just a headbutt... but now we've lost hope that this trait will go anywhere, considering it has all but disappeared. Complaints like these are short-hand criticism for "Ruby's character as a whole needs an overhaul," which in turn is a larger criticism of the entire cast's iffy characterization (Who is Oscar outside Ozpin? Why was Weiss' arc with her father turned into a joke and concluded without her? etc.) and that investment speaks to wanting her to be better. We want Ruby to be a better character than she currently is, like all those other shows we've seen where the women shine. Reducing that to misogyny isn't just inaccurate, but the exact opposite of what most fans are going for in their criticisms.

[bamsywrites]

Mistakes Like These

Summary: Kakyoin never paid much attention to the younger Kujo. Who knew stockings and short skirt were all it would take change that

Rating: 18+, nsfw

Words: 4877

Warnings: cannabis mention, alcohol use

Tags: afab, fem pronouns, modern!au , doesn’t follow the canon like at all, very au, brother!jotaro x sister!reader, kakyoin x reader, soft dom kak, lots of pet names, plus size reader

Notes: I haven’t written any fanfiction in over five years so this might be rusty. I’m sorry for any mistakes made or if its not how the characters would act. I’m still new to the Jojos fandom but had this idea pop in my head and decided to get it out. I want to turn this in to a multi part story and have several parts already planned out, I just want to have feedback to see if people actually like it.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

A sigh escaped your lips as you read the most recent email in your student inbox. Patience may be a virtue, but it was sure one you didn’t possess. At least not right now anyway. Tsking your tongue against the roof of your mouth, you moved the mouse over to the refresh button and clicked. Your eyes followed the downloading icon in circles, fingers tapping anxiously over the desk.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

You exhaled angrily through your nose and leaned back in your chair. Your eyes fixed on the ceiling for a few moments before you looked over to your bed where your cat, Miso, had woken up from his nap.

“I know I should be more patient. But this grade is what determines if I move on to the next course which I need if I want to graduate soon and get out of this apartment.” You spoke as if your cat had scolded you for your impatience.

Your apartment was nice. Super nice. Your friends often described it as “apartment goals.” You could have never afforded it on your own. Hell, you couldn’t afford it even when you graduated and got a job. Two large bedrooms with a spacious living room, modern kitchen, and a balcony that overlooked the cities skyline. There were only two major downsides: there was only one bathroom which had to be shared with your roommate and your roommate happened to be your older brother, Jotaro.

Now, you didn’t exactly hate your brother. He was like any older brother, he thought you were extremely annoying and wanted nothing to do with you most of the time, though there were times growing up where he’d come home with scrapes and bruises after dealing with someone who picked on you at school. As you were both older, you found each other more bearable than you did when you were younger. That didn’t mean, however, you wanted to live with him. Especially while you were in college, which was supposed to be your time to let loose and have fun while still receiving an education, of course. Your grandfather, however, had other plans.

Joseph Joestar was a real estate mogul and had some serious money to his name. He loved to dote on his two grandchildren and was upset that for the most part your parents chose to give you a “normal” life without the extravagance that he offered. Birthdays and christmas he would buy you each a present, until Jotaro turned 15 and started asking for money instead. He made your mother an offer that he knew she couldn’t deny: he would pay for the entirety of your schooling, from associates degree to PhD if thats what you wanted, in order for the two of you to focus on your studies he’d also give you a weekly allowance so that you wouldn’t have to work, and he’d buy you each your own apartment and pay to furnish it how you liked. Holly couldn’t turn down the offer, what kind of mother would deny her children an opportunity like that? However, she did ask that her father only buy a single apartment for her children to share. Her hopes were that it would strengthen your relationship and it also meant she could see both her darling children whenever she desired.

You didn’t want to seem ungrateful at all for what Jiji had done for you. You knew you were extremely privileged to have the opportunities that he provided you but, fuck, sometimes you wished you had your own place. You wanted the independence, to know you earned something but also because sharing a bathroom with Jojo was infuriating. He always moved your stuff, never cleaned the shower, and he never had patience for you to get ready in the mornings. A wishful sigh left your lips as you thought of your future, with just you, Miso, and the ability to use the bathroom whenever you wanted.

Your eyes moved back to the computer screen, clicking refresh, and rolling your eyes when you read the same email from the dean again. Like you expected anything different, you just turned the term paper in yesterday. You brought your cup of tea up to your lips but furrowed your eyebrows when you realized there was none left.

Pushing yourself up out of your chair you formulated a plan for the rest of your evening. You would refill your cup of tea, hop back on your computer to play Overwatch with your friends until the early hours of the morning, and then cuddle up with Miso and look at TikToks until you fell asleep. It was foolproof. No way that you would even think about your term paper grade.

And if you did, you could always refresh your email in between matches.

-----------

Your finger tapped your lip as you looked over all the snack foods in the pantry. While waiting for your tea, you realized that the only thing that could make your plan better was a good snack. You had just gone shopping so it meant that all the poky, ramen, and chips you desired were on the shelves and it made the decision extra hard.

In the middle of your contemplation, you heard the front door turn and the sound of your brother and his friends entering the apartment.

“You know it's true, Jotaro. Your apartments bigger. Its nicer. It has that view that drives the ladies wild. Our apartment is cramped and it smells like weed.” Polnareff’s voice was the first you heard as the trio entered the house.

“Don’t forget the upstairs neighbors who are always playing loud polish music.” Kakyoin added, plopping down to sit on one of the chairs in the living room.

You heard your brother sigh and could feel his annoyance. You never understood how the trio became friends, it was a mystery to everyone including them but they had been together since their days in primary school and the bond they shared was one that intrigued you.

“Yes, yes. The polish,” Polnareff nodded. “Known around the world for their ability to ruin the mood with a hurdy-gurdy.”

There was silence, and you could tell your brother was not budging a bit. A party was not Jotaros thing. Kakyoin wasn’t a partier either, from what you gathered he’d much rather stay at home playing video games and smoking weed. Sucking your bottom lip in your mouth, you made your decision, grabbing a bag of chips and a box of strawberry pocky. You did your best to hold those in one hand and your cup of tea in the other.

“Feel that Christmas spirit, Jo. Help Pol in his never ending crusade to get laid. The poorman is gonna end this year with, what, a batting average of zero. He’ll be a disgrace to French men everywhere.” The teasing tone Kakyoins voice almost made you laugh.

“Hey! Batting average of 3. You know this,” Polnareff shot back, causing his roommate to throw his hands up in mock surrender.

“Jotaro,” The french man turned his attention back to your brother, who simply turned on the TV in what seemed to be an attempt to drown out the sound of his friend's voice, “C’mon. I’ll buy your cigarettes for a month…..Two months?” His voice was getting more desperate, his head turned toward you. A smile stretched across his features as he jumped off the couch and threw his arms around your shoulder.

God, you just wanted to go to your room.

“New deal,” Polernaff declared, squeezing you to the side of his body as you tried not to splash your tea all over the floor. Kakyoin looked away from the TV, eyebrow raised, Jotaros attention never faltered from the knock-off Viagra commercial. “If you agree to a Christmas Eve party I will buy you cigarettes for three months, I will never ask anything of you ever again, and I will stop flirting with your sister.”

Kakyoin snorted, shaking his head and turning his attention to Jotaro. Since you had moved in with Jotaro, the frenchman hadn’t stopped making comments about how beautiful he thought you were or just giving you flirty winks whenever you walked through the room. You found it annoying at first, but you quickly got over it when you realized he did the same thing with every girl, and boy, that he saw.

“Good grief,” Jotaro sighed. “Its a deal.”

------------------

“I can’t believe you agreed to this.” Kakyoin mumbled as he and Jotaro watched their friend place the final touches on the decorations and food for the party. Y/N had already put up Christmas decorations earlier that month, there was some snowmen set out on the dining table and a cute tree with some presents neatly wrapped under it. However, Polnareff had decided that wasn’t enough. He had hung up snowflakes to come down from the ceiling, there was garland hung on every wall, and so much fucking mistletoe.

Polnareff had even requested that his friends dress festive. Jotaro, of course, didn’t listen and wore what he always wore. Kakyoin decided to humor his friend and wore a Santa hat along with a dark green v-neck and dark wash jeans.

“You don’t need the money, right? Grandpa Joestar’s allowance has to be enough for cigarettes.” He continued, watching his roommate place a bowl of peppermints by the door.

“I just wanted to get him to shut up,” Jotaro said with a roll of his eyes.

“You think he’ll actually follow through on leaving Y/N alone?”

Jotaro shook his head, “Out of all the people in this city, you’d think he’d leave the only one of limits alone.”

Kakyoin simply nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

-----------

You smoothed your hands over your outfit, turning to the side to get it from a different angle. You couldn’t decide if you liked it or not. The sweater was cute, it was red with a deep green christmas tree that had colorful little puff balls as the ornaments. Your make-up and hair looked nice, too.  That wasn’t what concerned you. It was the white pleated skirt and tight red stockings that caused you pause. You grabbed at your love handles that spilled over the top of the skirt a bit and your eyes traveled to how your thighs looked in the stockings.

Polnareff had told you you could invite some friends over. Which, of course you could, this was your apartment and you didn’t need his permission. You had told him as such and invited over your three closest friends.

You turned around to your bed and looked at Miso, who was comfortably curled up. “How do I look?” You waited a moment before turning back to the mirror and smacking your lips together. You were tempted to take off the skirt and tights and throw a pair of jeans on but something changed your mind last minute. Instead of heading to your closet to change, you instead grabbed the reindeer antler hand band and slipped it on top of your hair before heading out of the safety of your bedroom.

You were so distracted with the new decorations that you didn’t notice the pair of eyes that were glued to your form.

------

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime was playing for what seemed like the fifth time. Kakyoin had never hated Paul McCartney more than he did now. He was just now starting to feel the buzz of all the drinks he had had but it didn’t make the party any more bearable.

“She,” Kakyoin pointed to a blonde girl in a Santa dress, “is gonna hook up with him,” He pointed to a dark haired main that had for some reason felt the need to take his shirt off.

Jotaro simply grunted before eyeing more of the members of the party. This was a game they’d been playing for the past hour and a half, making bets on who was gonna hook up with who and who was gonna get the most shit faced.

“He’s gonna end up passed out in my bathtub,” The dark haired man stated, pointing to the only person dancing to the playlist Polnareff had created.

Kakyoin broke a smile as he watched the clearly wasted man's horrible dance moves. His attention was brought away from the scene by the sound of Y/N’s laugh. For what had to be the millionth time that night, the red haired man eyed her up and down. That outfit looked so fucking good on her but the smile streched out across her lips looked even better.

I wonder what the lipstick would look like smeared on my cock.

The thought slipped into his head and he couldn’t stop from staring at the red painted on your lips.

Does she feel as soft as she looks?

He took a sip from his cup. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about his hands running over her thighs or his fingers digging into her hips. It was strange that he was having these thoughts. He’d never viewed Y/N as more than just Jotaro’s younger sister. He never thought she was ugly, in fact there were multiple times that he thought she was down right gorgeous but it had never turned sexual. Something about that outfit had sent him over that edge.

The sound of Last Christmas brought him out of his trance. Kakyoin almost immediately rolled his eyes. He almost missed the hurdy-gurdy.

“Good grief,” Jotaro mumbled and grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the coffee table. “I’m heading out for a smoke.”

Kakyoin watched as his best friend got up but instead of heading for the balcony, Jotaro went out the front door. The red haired man was tempted to follow but as soon as that thought popped into his mind he heard the drunk voice of his other best friend call to him.

“Kak, you gotta show these guys the cherry thing!”

---------

It was well past 3. The party had ended and most of the attendants took an Uber home. The only people in the apartment were you, Polnareff, and Kakyoin. Jotaro had still not returned from that smoke he said he was going to take hours ago. The buzz had long worn off and the reality sank in that you had to clean the disaster of an apartment that was left in the christmas party’s wake.

There were red solo cups strewn about various surfaces and all over the floor, glitter seemed to have gotten everywhere, there were plates of food left half eaten, and there was a candy cane just stuck to the wall. Looking at the destruction, you almost wondered if the fun you had had was worth it. With your parents coming over tomorrow...or, well, today…..for Christmas, you had really no other option than to clean it, with that thought in your head you grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning.

After a few minutes, you heard the familiar rustle of plastic as someone was opening a trash bag and you turned to see Kakyoin helping you with your task.

“Thanks,” You told him as you threw a plate of half eaten cake into the bag.

“No problem. Pol is passed out in the hallway and I gotta make sure Jo makes it home safe, so I’m kinda stuck here.”

You simply nodded in response and kept about your task in silence. A silence which seemingly bothered Kakyoin because a few minutes later he cleared his throat and broke the silence.

“So I, uh, noticed your man wasn’t here tonight.” He almost smacked himself for asking the question. You thought he was just making small talk, the thought of him having more devious reasons behind asking if you were single hadn’t crossed your mind.

“My….My man?” You quirked an eyebrow, looking back over your shoulder at him.

“Yeah, your man. I saw you with some guy a while back,” Kakyoin had put down the now full trash bag and was leaning against the counter top with his arms crossed as he spoke.

“Oh,” You suddenly realized who exactly he was talking about, “Yeah, um, we broke up six months ago,” You said with a laugh.

“Oh...Six months?” He titled his head to the side, “Are you sure? Hmm… Well, sorry I didn’t notice...I uh guess I should be more observant.

You shook your head, placing down your own bag and heading past him to the pantry to grab another. “Its alright, I’m not offended. I’m sure you find me as annoying as I find Jotaros friends.”

Kakyoin raised his eyebrows at your statement, “You find me annoying? I mean, Pol, I get. Yeah. He’s one of my closest friends and even I can’t handle him sometimes. But me? I never talk to you.”

You had busied yourself with cleaning the rest of the cups off the counter, “ I don’t know. You’re just…” You looked up and noticed his eyes quickly flick down to your lips before making eye contact with you again. “I mean, you did one time give me oregano and told me it was weed.”

“First,” Kakyoin started, his body shifted so it was turned toward you, “Thats not annoying. I would call that immature, maybe. But annoying? Nah. Second,” he threw up two fingers to emphasize his point, “ In my defense, you were 15 and I was worried about you finding our stash under Jo’s bed and I thought it would lessen that chance if I gave you your own stash.”

You laughed, setting the bag down and turning to look at him. You couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in that dark green shirt but you quickly willed that thought away.  “Kakyoin, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Hey, at the time it did.”

You tilted your head to the side, you had plenty of stories that you could use as proof that he was annoying, “ What about that time you and Jojo left me stranded at school because the new playstation came out?”

“Thats not fair,” He noticed the playful hint your voice was taking and it caused a small smile to tug at his lips.

“How about the time that you threw up in my make up bag?”

“Hey, that was all Frenchie. Not me.”

“Or…..” You were silenced by Kakyoin pressing a finger to your lips. You hadn’t noticed that the two of you had just kept moving closer and closer as you were talking. You could get a better look at him now, his eyes looked tired but there was a mischievous glint to them, proof to you that he found this just as amusing as you did.

“What about you, huh? You saying that you’ve never been annoying?” He cocked an eyebrow, giving you a knowing look that let you know he had as many stories about you that you had about him.

“Look, I never once implied that I wasn’t annoying. I’ll own up to it,” You shrugged, “I was a total brat.”

Kakyoin snorted, “Don’t act like you’re not still a brat.”

“How?!” You looked almost taken aback, “How am I still a brat? You hardly see me!”

Kakyoin loved banter and teasing with his friends, it was kind of his thing. It was how he showed affection. If he didn’t gently bully you how was he supposed to show that he cared? But this, this teasing between the two of you was different. It made the room seem hotter and his pants feel tighter. That coupled with how fucking cute you looked in that damn outfit, even if your make up had worn off a bit and the lipstick was smugged. He couldn't deny it was doing things to him.

“I see you now,” His voice was deep, his tongue sticking out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes trailed you up and down.

Your cheeks immediately turned a blushy pink and your skin was hot under his gaze. Your lips parted but no words came out. This was Jotaros best friend, there was no way he was flirting with you.

Kakyoin took a few steps forward so he was as close to you as he could be without touching you. “I see you now,” He repeated in the same low voice, this time keeping eye contact with you, “And I see a brat.”

He pushes a few strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a gasp hitching in your throat as his heated skin touched your check briefly, “Unless you’re gonna show me otherwise.”

“I…” You swallowed the lump in your throat, suddenly weak at his gaze. “H-how?”

You look into his eyes and you can see it. You can see how much he wants you and how intense that want is. No one has ever looked at you that way before and it made your stomach erupt in butterflies. Quickly, you turn your head away not being able to handle the intensity of his stare. You feel his fingers on your chin guiding you to look back up at him, holding you there so he can take in all the features of your face. Its like he’s looking at you for the first time. His fingers move gently from your chin down to your neck, your breathing hitched in your throat when you felt the soft pad of his thumb move across your lips.

“If you want me to stop, tell me sweetheart,” He’s eyes had gotten a few shades darker and his voice seemed more strained than usual. Kakyoins free hand traveled under the sweater your were wearing, fingers lightly dancing along your side as his other hand stayed on you face, gently tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb. “Tell me right now and I’ll go back to pitching solo cups and scrubbing counters.”

In the pit of your stomach you knew you shouldn’t. You knew that if Jojo ever found out he’d flip, he’d always done his best to keep you and his friends separate. You always thought it was because you annoyed him and he didn’t want to have to be around you more than you already were, Kakyoin knew that it was because no matter how the man acted, he deeply cared for you and would do anything to protect you. These thoughts of Jotaro’s reaction filtered through your mind but your brother wasn’t here right now.

You acted on impulse, your tongue peaking out of your mouth to coax Kakyoins thumb between your lips. He watched with heavy lidded eyes as you gently sucked on the digit, swiping your tongue along the length of it. His breathing picked up for a moment before mumbling a quiet, “Fuck.”

Almost instantly you were hoisted on the counter with his lips against yours and wasting no time to swipe his tongue into your mouth. His hands quickly traveled up your thighs, pushing your skirt to pool at your hips and quickly ripping the stockings down the middle. Your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him as close to you as possible as your fingers worked at undoing his belt.

He pulls away from your lips for a moment to help you pull down his boxers and jeans. You licked your lips as you admired his cock, already hard and glistening with precum. You felt his fingers on your face again directing you to look at him.

“My cock needs to be inside you, sweetheart. Can I do that?” He was breathing heavy, he had never wanted someone so much in his life. All he wanted right now was to feel your pussy around his cock. Consequences be damned. “Can I fuck you, princess?”

You whine when you hear him speak, his voice is like nothing you ever heard before. Lust and want seemed to be dripping off every word. The whole situation leaves you speechless. At the nod of your head, Kakyoin pulls your panties to the side and slides inside you. His moan and your whimper are the only noises in the quiet apartment, his eyes watching your face intently for any sign of discomfort or desire to stop.

“Fuck me,” You breath out when your vocie finally comes to you. “Please, Kakyoin. Fuck me.”

He groans and happily obliges, rocking his cock in and out of you. Your small gasps and whimpers only egg him on more as he increases the speed of this thrust, your hands bracing yourself against the countertop. His eyes break from your face to watch his own cock slide in and out, the sight of his cock slick with your wetness makes him moan.

“Thats a perfect fucking pussy, sweetheart.” He breaths out so soft you almost can’t hear him over the slick sound of his skin on yours. His eyes find yours again, hand moving back to rest on your jawline and hold you in his gaze. He leans close and sucks your lip into his mouth, his teeth nipping at the soft flesh before soothing it with his tongue.

“You’re such a good girl,” Kakyoin tells you before pressing his lips against yours again. He picks up the pace because, goddammit, he wants to feel you cum on his cock. He pulls aways, resting his forehead against yours. Your moans are soft and the whimpers that follow cause him to smirk.

“Oh, fuck. That feels so good,” You whisper, looking into his eyes. He can see you getting closer and closer and its making it hard for him to keep composed.

“You take a cock so well, princess,” His lips brush against yours, he tilts your head to the side so that he can kiss down your neck, and then back up again. His lips find the lobe of your ear and gently suck on it. Your moans are getting more and more erratic, every now and then you’ll gasp out his name.

“You gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock,” Kakyoin whispers into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of it. “Shit, sweetheart, I wanna feel that pretty fucking pusy come on my cock.”

It’s the sound of his voice whispering those dirty things in your ear that sends you over the edge.

“Thats it, princess. Fuck, sweetheart…I’m...shit. Can I….?” The red heads voice is ragged and incoherent but you knew what he was asking.

“Fuck, yes, please,” Its all you can do to get the words out. “Please, I wanna feel you come in me.”

You both come hard, his fingers digging roughly into the skin of your thighs and loud moans filling the space of the kitchen. The warmth of him spilling inside of you is enough to make you want a round two. After a few moments the two of you are left breathing heavy, his forehead resting on your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

You stay like that for a moment, trying to regain your composure and come to terms with everything that had just happened. This was a development in events that neither of you ever saw coming. Its you that make the move to separate, pushing against his chest and moving off the counter. You avoid eye contact with him, flating your skirt back down and picking up your, now ruined, stockings off the tiled floor. You could feel his cum drip out of you down to your thighs.

“That was….” Kakyoin broke the silence, buckling his belt and running a hand through his hair. You noticed he too was looking at anything but you.

“Yeah,” You nodded your head in response.

“You know we can’t uh…-”

“Yup.”

“Like, ever.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

“H-Happy...Happy Christmas.”

You just nod and quickly retreat to your room, throwing yourself on your bed and groaning into your pillows. After a moment, you crawled under the blankets and pulled your cat into your chest.

“Miso. I think I’m a slut….”

--------

Kakyoin watched as you retreated away down the hallway, his mind still wrapping around what had happened. The fact that he was the one that instigated it. He was the one that made all the moves and god, he shouldn’t have. But he had wanted to. He had wanted to get you in that position all night.

It was at that moment that Jotaro entered the apartment again, smelling of cigarettes and….perfume? Kakyoin was gonna have to ask him about that one later. “

“The prodigal son has returned,” The redhead teased his friend, doing his best to hide the guilt he had for what he had just done.

“Shut up,” Jotaro mumbled. He eyed his friend curiously, he was very observant and it was very naive of Kakyoin to think that he wouldn’t notice the change in his friend. “What’s wrong with you?”

I just busted a big one in your sister. And would probably do it again if the chance presented itself. No biggie.

“I’m, uh, I’m just tired.”

-----------

Thank you so much for reading this! I appreciate it very much. Let me know what you think of it and if I should continue the story. Merry Christmas!

[whatifxwereyou]

Firestorm Part 12: Chongqing

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021 Liu Kang x Reader

And now for an interlude where you go shopping with Chen and Lao. It goes just about exactly as you expect until Lao becomes serious Lao. You needed this.

A/N: longer chapter but had a blast writing it! enjoy, friendos.

Start From the Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

Chongqing was overwhelmingly loud and bustling. Your trio couldn’t have stood out more amongst the crowds of the busy shopping district. Kung Lao with his hat and tunic, Chen in her simple robes, you dressed like a vampire. Black had become your new favorite wardrobe color. The ink didn’t stain it quite as badly.

The perpetual lump in your throat was going to drive you completely mad. You’d never felt this kind of anxiety before. In fact, you had been used to being the butt of every joke in your hometown. Wherever you went people would stare. But you’d never actually put any of them in danger before. This was different.

It felt like you were wrapped tight in explosives and had to pretend you were normal while walking through a busy street. No one noticed you was explosive. Kung Lao seemed pleased to be out and about with you in the world. Chen stood next to him, scowling at Kung Lao for whatever reason. You had enough to deal with without trying to understand what Chen was mad about. Chen grabbed your wrist and checked your pulse. You sighed heavily and looked away. She’d done that twice since you’d left.

“It’s not going to get any slower.” You whispered and Chen looked to you disapprovingly, then wrote something down in her little book. “We really don’t have to do this.” This was about the seventieth time you’d said that this morning. Kung Lao had insisted you run your errand. “It’s a stupid little errand and it seems silly.”

“We’re already here, Y/N. Don’t stress so much.”

“Yeah, but we’re going to Andong soon and I can get what I need there. Really. There’s way too many people here.” The dangerous scenarios that repeated in your head were wild. Chen then stepped back and Kung Lao smiled brightly at you. He was confident as ever for a man who you’d maimed just the other day.

“It’s just a few hours, Y/N. Just the two of us.” He rested his hand gently on your shoulder. Chen cleared her throat behind you and Kung Lao’s smile fell. “And her I guess.”

“As rude as ever, Kung Lao.”

“That’s Master Kung Lao and if I didn’t have to bring someone who could handle Y/N’s health issues if they creep up then I wouldn’t have.”

“Well, you had to. Sorry to break up your romantic day out, Master Kung Lao.” Chen bowed but the sneer on her face was priceless.

“Romantic? No, no, no.” You thought this couldn’t be further from romantic. A trip to the biggest city in China to get birth control was more like a bad dream. At least right now. Maybe it was a little funny but only if everyone came out of it unscathed.

“Where to first?” Kung Lao looped his arm in yours and guided you down the road slowly. With a heavy sigh you gestured down the street.

“Anywhere. Even a drugstore would do.”

“What could you possibly need from a drugstore that we don’t have at the Temple?” Chen had volumes to say on the matter but was being on her best behavior.

“I’m sure Y/N has her reasons.” Kung Lao defended you and then leaned closer to whisper. “…but what do you need?”

“It is no one’s business.”

“Wow, defensive.” Kung Lao grinned. Chen pointed at him and nodded to agree.

“Lady stuff. Okay?” An easy answer to make Kung Lao stop asking you questions.

“Oh.” Both Chen and Kung Lao seemed disappointed that it wasn’t something more exciting.

“It was bound to come up eventually.” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously. You were grateful that Chen didn’t seem nearly as bold in front of Kung Lao.

“This is suddenly a much less exciting trip.”

“What did you think I needed to buy, Lao?”

“Clothes? Lady… things?” He looked you over from head to toe and your jaw dropped. You stopped your walk and pulled your arm away from his, resting your hands on your hips. Chen was trying very hard not to laugh, face turned away but beat red with effort.

“Are you implying that you thought I had invited you to come shopping for lingerie with me?” You gestured to yourself. Chen was now failing at her task of not laughing. She was open mouth wheezing, bent over with one hand on her knee.

“I feel like that’s something I would excel at.”

“I think that you would be the exact opposite of helpful.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous, Y/N.” Kung Lao grinned, delighted that he’d managed to turn your face red. Chen was practically crying tears of happiness.

“And just what would you do if I took you into a lingerie store, hmm? I’m calling your bluff.” You tapped your foot expectantly and Kung Lao stiffened up. If he wanted to tease you then you would tease him right back, Chen be damned. He stuttered, ran his tongue over his teeth, but then grinned and pointed a finger at you with no words to back it up. “That’s what I thought.”

“If that’s a challenge Y/N, then you’re on.”

“Are you sure? Tall man, already standing out like a sore thumb with that hat, towering above a store full of women shopping for lacy underthings? Really sure you want to do that?”

“I uh…”

“Because it will be awkward. Not the fun, sexy thing that you think it’s going to be.” You were winning and rather happy about it.

“I can’t breathe, you two have to stop.” Chen was coughing with laughter. You patted her on the back.

“At least someone thinks we’re funny.”

“Not for the reasons you’re thinking.” You muttered and then gave Chen another smack on the back and then cleared your throat. Chen wiped her eyes. “I do need clothes but it’s not urgent. And I’m not underwear shopping with you, Kung Lao. No offense.”

“We’re here so you should get what you need while we are. I’ll just be the creep standing outside the store.” Kung Lao slipped his arm around yours again and then led you further down the street, eyeing the shops. You had to dart between people as you walked and being in this big of a crowd made you visibly uncomfortable.

“We should get this over with quickly.” You didn’t mean to sound like you didn’t want to spend time with him. You were uncomfortable but only partially because you were out with Kung Lao and Chen.

“Come on, Y/N. Relax a little.”

“It’s dangerous to be around this many people.” There was no point in dancing around the truth. They didn’t seem to take you seriously. How many times had you wounded Kung Lao and Liu Kang? These were men that you cared about deeply. Unusually tough men with magic powers. Imagine what kind of damage you would do to Chen if you lost it. And the ten people who had just walked past you! You shivered at the thought. Chen patted your shoulder comfortingly then drifted behind you and Kung Lao as if to try and alleviate your worry.

“Try not to think about it.”

“Really? I… let’s just get it over with.” You laughed in disbelief. You wouldn’t ruin their mood just because you were nervous of what could be. Kung Lao led you into the massive store on the corner. It was a towering building. Just inside there was a sign along the wall listing each level and what was sold on them. This floor was convenience. The floors above were separated like a department store.

You pulled your arm free of Kung Lao’s and meandered through the aisles. There was a pharmacy at the far end. Yes, your target. You stopped in the middle of the aisle and frowned. You didn’t have a prescription. Damnit. What had you been thinking? None of this was working out the way you’d wanted it to. It was comically bad! You laughed at yourself and Kung Lao furrowed his brow next to you.

“What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Yeah. It just struck me how weird it is to be shopping with you like life is normal.”

“I do it all the time.”

“Does it ever stop being weird?” You had been lying and Kung Lao hadn’t noticed. Score one for you.

“People stared and pointed at you all the time when we were kids. I can’t imagine that changed much after I left. You can’t possibly feel weird about it now.”

“Well, there’s a man standing next to me with a big weapon-y hat and… we stand out in a different way. Plus I’m dangerous.” You nudged him. Kung Lao grinned.

“I’m happy to stand out next to you.”

“You’re so corny.” You pointed to the next aisle. “Lady things. My mission. You coming?” You dared him.

“Ugh, no. I’m going to go look at literally anything else. Ruining all my fun…” Kung Lao teased, patting your shoulder before walking in the opposite direction. Good. Chen was nowhere to be found. She’d probably been distracted by something or another. Good. She’d needed to get out too. With a sigh of relief, you made your way to the pharmacy counter instead of the next aisle. The woman behind it looked so tired that you thought maybe she was a prisoner there.

“Picking up?”

“Actually… and I know this is going to come across at stupid but… I’m from out of town and I’ve forgotten my birth control.” You lied. You sounded like you were lying. It was so terrible. You were the worst! You’d used all your lying skills up for the day. Thankfully, the pharmacist seemed so tired that she either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I know that usually I can’t get it without a prescription but I was hoping there was something I could pay for outright over the counter, maybe?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The only thing I have over the counter is for the morning after.” She was surprisingly sympathetic for someone who was most definitely not paid enough. “I can call your doctor’s office and see if they’ll fax over a prescription if you like.” That was helpful except that you were supposed to be dead so that didn’t work out.

“No, no. I don’t have a primary care doctor here and…”

“Oh, I can call just about anywhere.”

“That’s nice, um… no, it’s okay. Thank you though. I’ll take some of the morning after stuff if you have it.” You sighed heavily. It was better than nothing. You tried to figure out a way to sneak into a doctor that day but it didn’t seem possible without completely abandoning Chen and Kung Lao. Maybe you would be able to do it later with Liu. Ugh, you didn’t want to wait that long. Your face flushed just thinking about it. You couldn’t wait to share this story with Liu later. It was hilarious. You paid for the medication which you asked to be double bagged. When you turned around, you found Chen standing behind you, hands on her hips, a smile on her face.

“I knew it.”

“You knew what?” You tried to play it cool but your face had immediately turned red and betrayed you. Chen tapped the bag and the burning in your cheeks intensified. “What? My hormones are being whacky.”

“Bull. You’re a terrible liar. I knew something was up. You are trying to be prepared before sleeping with one of those boys. Or both if you’re smart. Trying not to get pregnant, right?” Chen pointed an accusatory finger at you but her eyes were sparkling with joy. The woman behind the counter was now watching you with delight.

“Shush! Quiet!” You grabbed Chen’s arm and pulled her further from the pharmacy counter. “Please.”

“If you don’t tell me I’ll get louder. Kung Lao isn’t that far away, you know.”

“Fucking fine, you are mean, Kung Lao was right.”

“I love when you curse.”

“You are the worst…”

“Yeah, I know, the worst monk.” Chen brushed off the insult. “Tell me! It’s been ages since I’ve had anything juicy.”

“Fine. Yeah, I wanted to try and get some birth control. But I’m a moron for… numerous reasons. I forgot that I needed a prescription. So this whole embarrassing and stressful trip was next to pointless.”

“You should have told me, Y/N. I work in the infirmary. You’re not the only girl in the temple who needs birth control. Some of the hormones in there are crazy. I’ll get you some when we get back.”

“…well, now I feel bad. That was nice.”

“If you didn’t buy birth control then what did you buy?” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously then in a flash snatched the bag from your hands before it could be pulled to safety. She stepped back toward the pharmacy counter out of your reach and then looked into the bag. “Y/N! You dirty girl!” She grinned. You yanked the bag back from her. “You slept with one of them and didn’t tell me?” Your face was so red you thought you might explode. There were no words, just embarrassment. You weren’t the one who was a gossip, this should not have been surprising. “By the way? You should buy some tampons to cover your tracks. I keep those in the temple too, by the way. You really should have just saved yourself the trouble and just talked to me.” You felt more and more like a moron. You deserved this. Your shaming had been earned. “Did you have unprotected sex with one of them? Here I was thinking that you were never gonna spread your legs and…”

“Wow, wow… okay shush… this is a rollercoaster and I need off.”

“You didn’t have to make this trip. All you had to do was talk to me.”

“Yeah, so you can have your weird vicarious fantasy.”

“Obviously.”

“And you’d help with the Plan B, huh?”

“Maybe. Did you sleep with Kung Lao? Bareback? Really? You want to breed with that?” Chen seemed to be considering if this were a viable option and you wanted to bash your head repeatedly into the wall until you were unconscious to escape this embarrassment. “I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing but you…”

“No! No I did not.” You were practically squealing.

“Oh.” Chen grinned from ear to ear and your face dropped. “So it was Liu Kang then.” Your face was so hot you were practically suffocating. It was not nearly as fun as the kind of suffocation being with Liu Kang had provided. The woman behind the counter was listening to you with rapt attention but pretended to go back to work when she realized she was caught.

“You have got to be quieter.” You walked away from Chen, down the aisle, grabbed a box of tampons then paid for it at the pharmacy counter. Then you shoved it deep in your bag. Chen was grinning so wide that you thought she looked deranged. Before you could say anything further on the matter Kung Lao joined you from the other end of the aisle.

“Oh, good. You look done. I was bored.” He looked you over and narrowed his eyes. “Your face is red.”

“Uh… hot in here, right?” You fanned yourself and Chen snorted with laughter. This had to have been Chen’s dream come true, short of walking in on you with one of them.

“…that woman is staring at me.” Kung Lao whispered, stepping closer to you, and nodding toward the pharmacist.

“It’s the hat, I’m sure. Didn’t notice.” Every word was a struggle to say without bursting into laughter. You then grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the pharmacy counter. He slowed you down, pulled his hand free, and then slipped his arm around your waist lazily.

“I was thinking that we could grab something to eat if you’re up for it. I’m hungry.” Thankfully Kung Lao hadn’t needed any answers. Chen joined you, walking on the other side of you. “There’s a pretty good sushi place around here if I remember correctly.”

“Do you think it’s responsible for me to sit in a restaurant?” You were in disbelief but at least your face was finally cooling down.

“You’re still allowed to live, Y/N.” Kung Lao’s grin finally fell.

“Yeah, live a little.” Chen added. You could practically see the devil horns sprouting on her head.

“You guys don’t… get it.” You pulled away from Kung Lao and stopped your walk, turning to face them.

“I really don’t.” Kung Lao pouted and then mouthed that he was hungry. For sushi.

“Look at yourself, Kung Lao.” You gestured to him. “You’re bruised to hell.”

“Bloodied too.” Kung Lao seemed proud of it.

“Wouldn’t know. He never comes to the infirmary unless he’s dragged there. Even then, he’s the worst.”

“I’m only the worst because you’re so mean.”

“Is that reason? Because if that were the reason then it would only be me dreading you visiting the infirmary.”

“I’m… going upstairs to buy some clothes. You can keep bickering and I’ll think about food.” You turned away and walked to the stairwell around the corner. You breathed a sigh of relief to be away from people and then fanned your still red face. Only seconds later, Chen and Kung Lao joined you. They were still bickering. The permanent look of disgust on Kung Lao’s face as they argued about his health was hilarious.

Let them argue. You walked up to the next floor and found it was women’s clothing. You searched the rack for some staples. Now that you thought about it, you really did want to buy some lingerie but you couldn’t dream of doing that with those two breathing down your neck. Instead, you focused on staples. You found a few things to sleep in, more pants, cute black shirts. Black was your new aesthetic, apparently. You couldn’t help but think that you were beginning to dress like the witch that everyone in your hometown had accused you of being. It was a little comical.

Kung Lao stood next to you and Chen disappeared in the stacks. You were trying not to laugh at how annoyed he looked. He shoved his hands into his pockets and then peered over your shoulder, purposely trying to catch your gaze and distract you.

“Yes?” You turned toward him.

“None of this is lingerie. Boring.”

“Wow, so funny.” You rolled your eyes but smiled. You gave him a hard time but it really was fun to be out and about with him. He made you laugh. This experience was stressful for too many reasons but he managed to make it a little less nerve racking.

“I’m sorry for being a dick about this.” Kung Lao rocked on the balls of his feet, avoiding your eyes. “I know that you’re afraid of hurting people. I’m just… used to deflecting everything with humor. Tried to ease the tension and made it worse. And your friend being here isn’t making it easier. I swear she has it out for me.”

“She does seem to.” You smiled sympathetically. Now that you thought about it, Chen had tried to tell you something a few days ago. It felt like a lifetime since then. Maybe her attitude had something to do with that.

“I was kind of hoping that we could find some alone time. I could sneak you into a movie.” That sweet smile was back and you had to avert your eyes. It was a cute idea but it also made your stomach drop.

“That’s probably not safe unless we’re the only ones in the theater.” The weight of your truth made your knees buckle. “Maybe after we figure this out.”

“I figured that’s what you’d say.” It was Kung Lao’s turn to look disappointed. “Maybe Liu is right to worry about you.” He slipped his arm around you again. “It’s going to be okay, Y/N.” Was it though? They really didn’t get it.

“I could explode with ink right now and you would be impaled.” You placed the clothing you’d picked up back on the shelf. Shopping didn’t seem so important anymore. Kung Lao cocked an eyebrow in surprise. “Those women walking behind us? Dead. The damage I’d do to the store and the employees would be irreparable. You’d be incapacitated if not dead. Who knows who else I’d hurt? I’d never forgive myself, Kung Lao. I don’t think anyone has really thought through the danger that I truly pose. Raiden seems to be the only one who gets it.” You didn’t like having this conversation with anyone, especially Kung Lao.

“Y/N… I…”

“Chen’s so busy teasing me about you and Liu that she forgets how dangerous this is. You… it’s sweet. You’re so confident that we’re going to figure this out and that we can handle whatever happens but one wrong move? And you’re dead.” You knew it was harsh to talk like that but you thought about it constantly. “You were confident about it in the arena too and look what happened, I…” You were upset and you didn’t want to be upset.

“Hey, hey…” Kung Lao placed his hand on your cheek to stop you from going on. Brow furrowed he pushed your hair away from your face. “Take a breath.” You did. It helped a little. He urged his hands to your shoulders and then down your arms. “I know all of that. I really do. I don’t mean to be dismissive… but I can’t help but think you have to take the risks. You can’t just hide away forever.”

“Am I hidden, Kung Lao? We are in… arguably the biggest city in the world. I’m here. Just… cut me some slack for being nervous. This is a new anxiety for me and I am learning to deal with it.”

“I don’t want you to stop living because of this. I want to make sure you still have fun.”

“I’m not worried about that! I’m not worried about having fun…” What did that have to do with anything?

“I know. And that worries me.” Kung Lao seemed exasperated. “This is so much stress and it’s going to eat you alive. Come on. Come with me.” He took your hand and started through the aisles.

“I’m shopping, Kung Lao.”

“It can wait.” He led you through the store and to the elevators. Pulling you inside, he pressed the button for the top floor. Your heart was suddenly racing. Kung Lao had been flirting on and off all day but this was different. You and Liu hadn’t drawn any lines in the sand about what you were but you knew she wanted to be with him. Don’t overthink it. That was all you had to do.

The elevator dinged and you walked onto the top floor that was filled with various appliances. Lao led you into the stairwell and you climbed the last staircase that led onto the roof. He pushed open the door and then walked with you to the edge of the building. A railing had been installed to keep people safe and there was a garden in dire need of watering. From there you could see much of the city. The air wasn’t exactly clear that day but it was still breathtaking. You hadn’t seen that much life in a long time. You leaned against the railing and watched the world below as it passed by. The wind howled that high up and whipped hair around.

“Everyone’s afraid of something. Every single one of those people down there.” Kung Lao had his arms folded on the railing, chin resting against them next to you.

“That’s true. But not everyone could kill the people they care about with the things that frighten them.”

“Maybe some can. Who are we to say?” He joked but then leaned up from where he’d rested his chin. “Y/N?”

“What, Lao?”

“I’ve been thinking and…” He hesitated but leaned one arm on the railing as he turned to face you.

“What is it?” You turned but felt your heart instantly leap into your throat. He took a step closer and towered over you. Panic. Sudden panic. Your first instinct was to stop him and tell him about Liu but nothing came out. The idea of hurting him was crippling. Part of you loved Kung Lao. You’d always loved him. You’d had a love affair without having ever been together. But this was different. He pushed your hair away from your face again, hand brushing gently down your cheek and then beneath your chin.

“You’re really special. You know that, right?”

That hadn’t been what you’d expected. What did he mean? And why?

“I’m sure that you feel as cursed as I tease you about being but… you’re special. Not everyone could handle the weight of what you’re dealing with. And not everyone would be responsible with it. Most people wouldn’t be, I think.” Kung Lao smiled. “Think of the kind of villain you could be. If you were to side with Outworld with this… insane power you have? The destruction that you’d be capable of… look, I’m not trying to convince you to do crimes, I’m just trying to say that you’re special. And you should know that.”

“Lao, I…” You furrowed your brow because through this whole thing you hadn’t thought of yourself as capable or special. But there Kung Lao was, rearranging everything in your head. How had he seen it but you hadn’t? Maybe you’d been given this gift and this curse for a reason. Maybe it was because you could handle it when others wouldn’t have been able to. His thumb brushed against your chin and then traced up your jaw. Okay, now he was going to try and kiss you. The mood was right but you kept thinking about Liu Kang and how deeply you’d fallen for him.

Then the door opened behind you.

Chen.

“Did you two really abandon me to have a romantic moment on the roof? Leaving me wandering the store in search of you for an hour?” She huffed and puffed but had several bags on her arm. She had enjoyed shopping at least. “I said to myself, I bet they’re on the roof. Having a romantic moment. Just had to sneak away. And here you are. Having a romantic moment. As predicted. Unbelievable.”

You took a step back and wiped your face, embarrassed. Kung Lao pulled off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, and then replaced it again.

“Sorry. I got in my head. Needed to breathe.” Your face was red again.

“Sure, breathing is what that was.”

“I’m not sorry. Wish you’d been lost looking for us for a few more minutes.” Kung Lao sounded arrogant even as he slipped his arm around your shoulder and led you back toward the stairwell.

“Not at all surprising!” Chen called after you before joining you.

“Stop arguing. You’re making my head hurt.”

“But Y/N…”

“If you stop arguing, I will agree to get sushi.”

Chen and Kung Lao exchanged a glance and came to a silent agreement with a nod.

[davidmann95]

Powers of X #1, aka Hickman's Attempt to Get You to Care about X-Men #2

Anonymous said: For your money, which was the better first issue: HoX or PoX?

Anonymous said: PoX thoughts? It’s a lot more of a normal X-Men issue than HoX.

My critical thoughts on Powers of X #1 are actually relatively minimal: this is still incredibly good and just as important a thesis statement of the scope being tackled here as House of X #1 was, though on the whole what that was presenting was more up my alley; Silva proves as much a powerhouse as Larraz, and while I enjoy Lenil Yu’s work I’m honestly not confident him being the regular artist on the main X-Men book after this won’t induce a painful case of visual whiplash; I really need to catch up on East of West.

Okay, now for what we really all care about, RANDOM OBSERVATIONS AND SPECULATIVE BULLSHIT:

* Charles was definitely at that circus looking for mutants among the freakshow, right?

* Major echoes of the, well, echoes through time in New X-Men with Percival’s demise. And the handling and framing of Cardinal makes me very curious if and how Hickman’s going to use Nightcrawler proper.

* I know juuuuuust enough about X-Men continuity bullshit to recognize the significance of certain recurring imagery and ideas, such as the Hounds in a dystopian mutant future, but since I’m thankfully divorced from all that for the most part I can skip past any “another bad future?” burnout and appreciate that this time it’s actually a good one.

* Right here at the beginning: the traditional X-Men narrative cycle is going to be the death of them all.

* The Sinister breeding pits begin after the fall of the existing mutant leadership, but that sure seems to reflect what was going on in the first two HOX pages. Perhaps there was an unofficial generation zero? Or, for that matter…how sure are we, exactly, that the first two pages of HOX in fact occur prior to the rest of the issue?

* It’s a stroke of cruel genius on Hickman’s part that the title of this directly homages the big twist of the Weapon X program, when the plot is largely about future generations of living mutant weapons this time created BY mutants. Of COURSE there’s a Wolverine’s DNA is in the mix even if her powers aren’t visibly manifested.

* Does the Man-Machine Supremacy only pursue the 8 remaining Sol System mutants, or are they also targeting the Shi’Ar population? If it’s the former, why are they clearly still a priority target?

* The hierarchy between Nimrod and Omega seems ambiguous, to say the least. And Nimrod’s immediate real-world fandom is both utterly understandable and absolutely fucking horrifying.

* I hadn’t known that a version of Nimrod was a preexisting part of the franchise, but Silva’s design here is absolutely killer.

* I don’t know whether “for one of mine to flourish, many of yours must perish” is deliberately referencing this, but given mutant birthrates were supposed to reach a critical mass within 20 years and this is 80 after that, but humankind (albeit having apparently willingly given up any meaningful actual humanity in merging with the Sentinels to maintain dominance) still makes up all but 8 of the humanoid population of the Sol System? That line absolutely reads to me as, at best, the X-Gene being screened for and either somehow removed in utero or the pregnancies being terminated, but more likely - given A. The phrasing, and B. Hickman being mean as shit - a whole lot of dead mutant babies.

* Is SalCen meant to spark recognition among aficionados? Is it a mashup of real-world locations? Or is it a new term, and if so will it have any meaning?

* It feels notable to me that the Shi’Ar have split up the remains of mutantkind rather than letting them remain together at their full number of approximately 10000, since I recall that’s a number occasionally cited as the minimum viable population for humanity. Are they subtly trying to make sure they can’t repopulate? That one of the primary concerns of a minimum viable population is the lowering of genetic diversity particularly leaps out, given the remaining generation of at least semi-Earthbound mutants seem to have been engineered specifically to repeat the mutations of the past.

* As I’ve seen noted elsewhere, Asteroid K appears to be where Franklin Richards was hanging out in Hickman’s Avengers #32 five thousand years further down the road.

* Are we meant to be sure whether it’s Homo Sapiens or Homo Superior being kept in The Preserve at the end?

EDIT: secretlyasummers said: SalCen = “Salem Center.” The town where the Xavier School is.

Thanks!

[ship-ambrosia]

A Year in Review for ship-ambrosia - Fanfiction Writers 2018

So I saw a blog I’m a huge fan of do this sort of year reflection of fanfiction writing, and since this was the first year I’ve ever posted my fanfictions, I thought it’d be fun to do!

First off I wanna thank @sweetmemories2606 @allie-and-her-fandoms and @a-fairy-tail44 for constantly encouraging me, being there to bounce ideas off of, also basically being beta readers for me and my hype men... you guys rock. I’m so glad I met all of you.

total number of completed stories

- “Completed” is kind of relative isn’t it? Lol... I have 13 stories posted on AO3, 4 that are on tumblr only, and of those 17 three of them, Heavens Bringer, A Fool Like Him, and Inherit Thunder (previously Heir of Electricity) are unfinished. Three of them are a collection of one-shots from Gruvia, Jerza, and Nalu week, but they’re all so short I’m going to count them as all together.

- There is so much unposted stuff in my backlog that you wouldn’t even believe lol most of it is unfinished though

total word count

- 81000 on AO3. I don’t even want to go and count otherwise

fandoms written in

- Fairy Tail

- My Hero Academia

- RWBY

- Persona 5

- Voltron (behind the scenes)

- Fire Emblem (behind the scenes)

looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

- Let me just say that posting the first two fanfictions, Inherit Thunder (BNHA, kamijirou) and Liberation (RWBY, Blacksun), were totally on a whim. My roommate encouraged me to do it and see what kind of feedback I got on them. Boy am I glad I did. So let me tell you my motivation and progress has been absolutely astounding to me.

what’s your own favorite story of the year?

- This is so hard, because I’ve been in love with all the stories as I posted each of them, like oh yeah this is it this is my best one. Every time lol. I’d have to say though it’s probably The Droplet (FT, Gruvia). Reading my first gruvia fanfiction Four Degrees, and then going to The Droplet, you can really see not only how well my writing has improved, but also how much better I’ve done in understanding Gray and Juvia. Also I happen to find the beginning of it still really sexy lol that was difficult for me, writing a scene that was sexy that was going to be posted for the world to see.

did you take any writing risks this year?

- I think the style that I wrote A Sound Like Thunder (BNHA, iidamei) and Beauty and the Crow (P5, Akeharu) was a different style than um used to, with the story being told in chunks that didn’t quite fit together perfectly but still built off one another. Basically they could have been multi chapter fics but I wrote them like a short story and both of those stories I had to have read over a thousand times because I wanted them to be perfect.

do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

- One, to finish Heavens Bringer which I think is very plausible since I’ve been working on the last chapter a lot lately. Another is just to get more consistent with finishing and posting works, because right now it’s just like, here from me every so often and going like a month or two without posting any sort of writing. Maybe even to write less ship-focused works. I love ships but I don’t think all my writing has to be only romantic

best story of the year?

- Certainly one of my Fairy Tail fanfictions, though I’m not sure which. Heavens Bringer definitely has the most effort put in, but both The Droplet and A Fool Like Him (Ft, stingyu) have such in-depth, emotional breakdowns of Gray and Sting respectively and how I see them viewing their primary love interest that I think both of those stories have a fascinating draw. Also, I’m extremely proud of my Nalu Angst week prompts, I go back and re read them all the time. I think some of my best work resides in that collection, most notably the story titled “Miles Apart, Two Inches Away” from when Natsu and Lucy reunite after the post-Tartaros timeskip.

most popular story of the year?

- That’s easily Everything was the Same (Except when it wasn’t), my first Nalu story. On AO3 it has 755 Hits and 72 kudos, the most for both of all my stories. Which I find so funny because I wrote that story in under an hour lol.

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

- Heavens Bringer, by far. I like to think it’s amazing, and my friends seem to love it, but it’s gotten very little recognition. I’d love for more people to read it, and it has all the big four ships and I’ve devoted soo much time to it. But the feedback I HAVE gotten has been absolutely wonderful!

most fun story to write:

Beauty and the Crow, A Sound Like Thunder, or Nalu Angst Week. I hurt so much while writing all three, but I loved it. Beauty and the Crow because Akechi and Haru’s relationship would be just as tragic as I’ve written it, A Sound Like Thunder because iidamei is normally such a goofy ship and I literally almost killed Iida and made Mei Hatsume cry, and Nalu Angst Week because well... painful feels. But I enjoyed the dark places that my writing went.

story with the single sexiest moment:

Haven’t written (read: published) a ton of sexy scenes. I think The Droplet wins for the part where Gray almost pulls off Juvia’s underwear with his teeth, only to be interrupted by their baby.

most sweet story:

- Nuclear Fusion. No angst, it’s straight up injecting Nalu parenting fluff into your bloodstream lol

“holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

- Nothing yet?? Maybe hurting Iida and Mei in A Sound Like Thunder. I need to write a goofy fic with the two of them, honestly.

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

- I’m going to say Inherit Thunder. I used to think of Kaminari as just a total goofball. Coming up with the idea of his parents as villains gave so many deep possibilities to why Kaminari wants to be the “trendy” popular boy or where he could come from, what his motivation for being a hero could be. I could be totally right, or totally off. But it definitely made me so much more intrigued by what Horikoshi could have planned for him.

most unintentionally telling story:

- When you read Heavens Bringer you see exactly what kind of Fairy Tail fan I am. Lol

hardest story to write:

- Heavens Bringer! Lol. Also worked on Beauty and the Crow for a long time, because I couldn’t decide what direction I exactly wanted to take Haru and Akechi - did I want to follow the plot? Did I want to make Haru and Akechi fall in love, or make it a series of moments? Did I want lots of dialogue, or did I want it to be more narrated? It was a lot of stylistic choices that went into that one but I’m totally happy with how it turned out!

biggest disappointment:

- I worked on a Baccana story for sooo long and then I ended up deleting it because it was turning into very cliche, Gildarts-doesn’t-approve-so-he-challenges-Bacchus-to-a-fight and I didn’t want to write a fic that had already been done 30 times (not that Gildarts and Bacchus fighting because Bacchus likes Cana isn’t great... it’s just that most people who like that ship have already written that).

biggest surprise:

- Uhh, Inherit Thunder being as popular as it was received? I’ve gotten dozens of messages asking for a sequel and it’s really an incredible feeling to know people want more of a story. It was originally gonna just be a one-shot, but now I’m writing a second chapter that will probably come out after Heavens Bringer is done.

some stuff in the works for the new year:

- Obviously, Heavens Bringer part 5 and chapter 2 of Inherit Thunder

- Working on several more chapters to A Fool Like Him, it’s basically just all suffering for Sting lol

- A multi chapter Baccana fic AU-ish in which Cana joins Quatro Cerberus during the Tartaros timeskip after Fairy Tail is disbanded

- Multi chapter Gruvia and Gale fic about Juvia disappearing after leaving to search for answers to her origin, leaving Gray and Gajeel desperate to find her

- Stingyu Cinderella/Princess and the Pauper AU

- A Yang x Ilia piece (FINALLY! LOL)

- May eventually clean up and post an experimental fic where I practiced writing combat with Sun and Neptune vs Mercury

- Ryuji x Ann getting together post-canon

- Future Ryuji x Ann single dad Ryuji AU

- Haru x Akechi Military/sort of Fullmetal Alchemist AU?? Idk it was inspired by fanart

- Maybe post some of my Voltron/Fire Emblem stuff eventually? Idk about those

If you read this entire post seriously thank you!! And thanks to everyone who’s read my fics, sent me messages about them, or just talked to me in general!! I love interacting with the communities!!

[doctortreklock]

Garden - May 22, 2019

Part of my Resolution19. Read it on AO3.

Prompt: You promised your firstborn to a witch, but you’re terrible with guys (x)

Fandom: Original Work - Part of my Contemporary Arts series, but can be read alone

Art: “Falling Garden” by Gerda Steiner & Jorg Lenzlinger

Words: 3574

To this day I'm still not sure what possessed me to make that promise. But it was Cassandra's 23rd birthday, her proper coming-of-age, and I'd been half in love with her since we'd both started at the Conclave. And I'd been so focused on not letting that slip that I'd forgotten to get her a Gift (which was completely inexcusable for a witch's 23rd).

So when it had been my turn, and she'd looked at me with her deep brown, liquid eyes set in her gorgeous, russet brown skin, I had blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"My firstborn."

And that had caused quite a stir, let me tell you.

--

Now, an off-hand, extravagant promise like that might not mean a lot to you, but it had been a Gift at Cassandra's Convocation, and that meant something.

A vow was a vow, and an oath was an oath, and a promise was a promise. And all three were binding to the depths of your soul.

To complicate matters further, I had no idea how I would get a firstborn in the first place. I was awkward around women, completely uninterested in men, and the thought of any activities that might result in a child made me break out in a cold sweat. In short, I was completely and utterly screwed.

--

My first instinct was to laugh it off and immediately reverse course, drowning my embarrassment in nachos and berating myself for my idiocy. As I mentioned, that wasn't really an option, see: eternally binding promises. And, like, the kind of promise that lingers, that becomes unfinished business and will keep you tethered to the mortal world long after you should have left. (This would be especially awkward in my case, since firstborn are really hard to come by once you're incorporeal.)

Instead, I just froze. Cassandra's eyes widened in surprise and the utter stillness that had fallen at my pronouncement broke in a rush of noise.

"What?"

"Did she just?"

"I can't believe--"

Cassandra's eyes didn't leave mine and I stared back at her, unblinking, too panicked to think of anything.

"--never heard of such a thing--"

"--can't imagine--"

Cassandra blinked and looked toward the rest of those gathered. "Enough." Her quiet pronouncement settled the crowd. "Shiraz has given her Gift." Her dark eyes found mine again, contemplating me, and I felt like I was drowning in their depths. "And I have accepted it." I felt the suffocating weight of an unfulfilled oath settle around me.

Yep. So screwed.

--

I sat there nervously bouncing my leg while anxiety twisted in my stomach, waiting for the last four people to give their Gifts. Theirs fell much more into the standard practice for Convocations: a book on magical theory from Madam Constance, three pale dewdrops plucked from the base of a mountain from Beatrice, a dozen tulip bulbs from Imelda, and her great-grandmother's pearl necklace and earring set from Cassandra's mom.

Once the last person in the circle has given their Gift, the Convocation is technically over. This signals the beginning of a party designed to appropriately celebrate the end of a witch's minority and the official completion of her education. My plans had been to retreat from the circle as quickly as possible and see how far I could get, re: nacho drowning. Even as the other witches moved closer to congratulate Cassandra (and probably to see about getting her take on the whole "firstborn" thing, knowing them), I could feel her watching me.

I immediately changed course from the buffet to Madam Constance. The Chinese woman didn't look surprised when I grabbed her elbow and pulled her a little further from the crowd. "Help," I hissed.

Madam Constance looked amused. "And what are you looking for help with?" she asked, raising a single eyebrow. "It seems rather simple from here. You offered your firstborn as a Gift to Cassandra and she accepted. You now owe her your firstborn."

I stared at her hopelessly. "Help," I repeated, quieter.

This got me a sigh. "Shiraz," she said firmly. "Your Convocation was last month, so I am no longer your teacher. But," she added at my dismayed expression, "I will remind you of this, which you should have remembered from Madam Alvarez's seminar on bindings," she said pointedly.

I wracked my brain for the lecture in question and could only bring up the hazy memory of Veronica inadvertently swearing herself to be Octavia's servant for the day and Cassandra's chiming laughter at the spectacle.

Luckily, Madam Constance continued. "Oath magic cannot be negated or diverted. It can, however, be interpreted. You offered your firstborn." Here her amused eyebrow made an appearance again. "You were fortunate in not specifying that it had to be a firstborn child. Any creation you pour your heart, soul, sweat, blood, and tears into may count."

It was the best news I had heard since... actually, since ever. It was the best news I had ever heard.

"Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears," I repeated, nodded. "Got it. Thank you very much, Madam Constance!" Before the woman could stop me, I gave her a quick hug before darting away. I heard a resigned sigh from behind me.

"Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears," I chanted to myself. "Heart, soul, sweat, blood, tears."

--

I did manage to get away that night without talking to Cassandra, which I thought was a minor miracle at the time. It just meant that she had to track me down the next day.

I was brainstorming ideas for a firstborn when there was a knock at my door. "Shiraz?" It was Cassandra.

The Conclave had a sprawling campus, and even though its primary purpose was as a school for magically talented women, it also served as a community center and meeting place. Hence why I still had a room there, even after my Convocation.

My blood ran cold when I heard her voice. A stronger witch than I would have simply opened the door. Then again, a stronger witch would have probably just 'fessed up to Cassandra before all of this started. Or just remembered to get her a Gift.

As it was, I simply pretended I wasn't home.

After a moment, she knocked again. "Shiraz?" She didn't sound a lot like her normal, confident self. She was nervous, and that made her tentative.

The realization had me on my feet, and before I could second guess myself, I had opened the door. "Hi, Cassandra."

She looked beautiful. Well, she always looked beautiful, but this morning, with the weight of my vow on my shoulders, I figured it was probably too late to pretend she didn't steal my breath every time I saw her. Her hair was frizzing a little out of her neat braids, and she looked tired, but her skin still glowed in the sunshine.

"Shiraz," she breathed. "Hi."

We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before I remembered that I should have some manners. "Come in?" I asked, moving out of her way. Cassandra nodded and walked past me into the room.

She took a breath. "I--"

I interrupted her. "Before you say anything, I want you to know I have this under control."

"You do?" She looked skeptical.

"Yes," I said firmly. "I talked to Madam Constance, and I think I know how to get out of this."

"Get out of it?" she asked. "I actually wanted to--"

"It'll be fine. I've got a couple ideas, and we'll get this thing sorted right away," I assured her.

Cassandra didn't look reassured. "Shiraz, I think we need to talk about--"

"No!" I blurted. "I don't-- We don't need to talk about anything. It's fine."

She huffed sharply in frustration. "Shiraz! We need to talk about your Gift!" I was going to interrupt her again, but she threw up a hand to stop me. "Don't. Please." I kept my mouth shut. She took a breath. "Shiraz, why did you give me such a Gift?"

Her eyes were beseeching, and I caught a glimpse of something that might have been hope. I opened my mouth before I knew what I was going to say, but nothing came out. For a moment, I almost told her the truth. I almost told her about how much I thought about her every day. About the way sunbeams danced in her hair and gave her a golden halo that left me awestruck. About the sweaty palms and nervous butterflies I got when I thought about kissing her. About how many Gifts I had considered and discarded until I was left with nothing but my heart to offer.

I almost told her. But what I said instead was, "It was an accident. I panicked."

Her gaze shuttered and dropped. "Right. An accident," she echoed.

"Like the mayor's poodle," I clarified.

"Like the poodle," she repeated hollowly. "Of course."

I wasn't sure what else to say.

"I'm going to fix this," I told her again, desperately hoping that might repair what I was beginning to realize I had broken.

She looked at me for a moment, and I'm not sure what she was thinking about, but then she nodded and left.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better if I had just talked to her the night before.

--

There were certain rules of magic that were universal. Oaths and vows were one of the big ones, as I had found out. The structure and form of spells was another constant. But each woman who walked into the Conclave had her own talent, a single flavor that characterized her magic.

Imelda, for example, was particularly good at destructive spells. She could probably tear down a building if she really needed to. Most of the time, though, that manifested in small ways when her emotions got too strong. When she got annoyed at homework, lights flickered. When she got angry, neatly alphabetized books would randomly rearrange themselves. Things like that. (She wasn't really allowed in the library anymore unless Veronica was there to help keep her calm.)

Yeah, Veronica was a bit of an empath. Her thing was emotions. Which was great when she was upbeat; it really helped us all focus. But when she and her boyfriend had a nasty breakup over Skype... Well, it wasn't pretty.

Lucinda did electricity and tech; Cassandra was basically one with plants; Madam Constance had this cool thing where she could see and manipulate other people's spells; and I-- Well.

My talent wasn't quite like everyone else's. I had yet to find a way to distill it down to a single idea. If I had to sum it up, it would be accidents. When I was seven, I exploded my uncle's can of soda all over him from across the room because he had mentioned a little too loudly that a woman needs to know her place. I was thirteen when Madam Ramirez had taken us on a field trip to a fundraiser. The mayor had made a small joke in his speech; I was the only one who gave a large laugh. It was slightly awkward; I was embarrassed; I accidentally vanished the mayor's pocket poodle. I was twenty-three when I panicked at a friend's Convocation and offered her my firstborn as a Gift.

To be fair, the last one might not have actually been magic.

--

After Cassandra left, I spent the rest of the afternoon alternating between turning our conversation over in my head, trying to figure out exactly what I had missed, and desperately attempting to forget the conversation entirely by focusing on possible firstborns.

It was around this time, as I was dourly meditating on my terrible accident talent, that I remembered Cassandra's.

Plants. Of course.

I then pulled a piece of slightly crinkled paper out of my recycling bin (one side of which contained the half-finished checklist of thank you cards from my own Convocation, but the reverse of which was blank), fished a pen out of my sock drawer, and set to planning the most elaborate plant-based Gift I could hope to give Cassandra.

I'd like to say that it was all smooth sailing from there.

--

The next time I saw Cassandra, I was at the Conclave's library. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do, but my ideas were severely limited by what spells I knew. I had hoped that Madam Florence might have been able to help, but she just scribbled down a list of introductory books on a variety of spell forms and impatiently shooed me away.

I was staring blankly at the two dozen unopened books stacked around me at the library table when someone slid into the seat across from me. It was Cassandra, of course.

I hadn't seen her since the awkward conversation in my room the week before, and I'd been kind of hoping I would be able to avoid her a little longer. I still wasn't sure what I had said to put that look in her eyes, but I'd had grand schemes of skirting around her for months until my Gift was done. Then, of course, my oath would be fulfilled, my Gift delivered, and everything would be able to go back to normal.

Well obviously that wasn't going to happen now.

"Cass--"

"What's your plan?" she interrupted. She looked tired, but otherwise neat and put-together as usual. (In comparison, my messy ponytail and worn Conclave sweatshirt felt particularly shabby.)

"What?" I asked reflexively.

"Last week. You said you knew how to deal with the whole...Gift thing," she gestured vaguely with one hand. "So. What's your plan?"

I looked at my table of books. It looked particularly dismal in light of her sharp question. I was suddenly much less confident than I had been before her arrival (and I hadn't really been that confident to begin with).

"Um," I stalled. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "You said you knew how to fix it. If it was an accident," her voice faltered briefly on the last word, "then I won't let you do it on your own." She lifted her chin to look me square in the eye. "It's not fair to you." Then she folded her hands on the table in front of her, as if waiting for a counterargument from me.

I didn't have one to give her.

"Uh, okay," I told her. "That might actually be best. I was probably going to have to get help from someone anyway," I admitted. "The spell structure is kind of beyond me." I sighed a little at the intimidating stacks surrounding me.

"Okay," she repeated, obviously not expecting me to agree so quickly. "So what's your plan?"

And then I told her about the Garden.

--

Cassandra's natural affinity for plants made them a natural choice for any Gift I could give her. But after offering her my firstborn, dewdrops and tulip bulbs weren't exactly going to cut it.

Outside the window of my room at the Conclave, there was a grassy courtyard, complete with tree. I'd been staring at it, wishing for some kind of inspiration that would bring me from "plants" to an actual, viable idea. The tree was maple, but it reminded me of Newton anyway, who had watched an apple fall and calculated gravity.

And that led me back to thoughts of falling apples and plants and falling in general and--OH

I had to fish a couple more pieces of paper out of my recycling to scribble down all the details that flooded my mind after that.

I had a vision of a falling garden, flowers and leaves eternally suspended above the floor in a constant array of motion and life. In my mind's eye, it was a brilliant riot of reds, yellows, pinks, and purples set against a vivid background of greens. There was a side hall with a vaulted roof that was rarely used, which would be perfect for this. Though maybe there was a way to make it portable? So Cassandra could take it with her when she left the Conclave...

And I scribbled and dreamed and pushed all thoughts of reality out of my mind. Because I couldn't master my talent or remember lectures about bindings, so how was I going to pull this bit of magic off?

--

Cassandra and I spent six months working on the Garden.

She had a stronger grounding in theory and a much better idea of what kinds of plants we should use than I did, but she also didn't have any better idea of what spells we would actually need to use to create the Garden.

I was lucky that she loved the idea as soon as I told her about it. I had only just come up with it, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do if she hated the very idea of a falling garden.

So we spent six months together digging through theory books and then spell books. Madam Florence gave us a couple pointers after I told her what we were working on, which helped direct us a little better. Neither of us had classes anymore, so we spent nearly all our time on the Garden.

I mean, we took breaks, of course, but otherwise we worked on the Garden. Even during meals we'd talk about the Garden. I'd tell Cassandra about a spell I'd just read about that probably wouldn't work, but it's kind of nifty anyway. And she'd just watch me with a warm smile and something fond in her eyes. Then it would be her turn to tell me about a new addition to the communal greenhouse and how it would be perfect for the Garden. And her eyes would light up and her hands would illustrate the shapes of the flowers, and I would lose my breath watching her.

(Cassandra and I did miss the occasional party or movie night, which was fine, though that did mean we missed some gossip. By all accounts, Imelda and Octavia had a huge falling out after one movie, where apparently Imelda stormed out after the screaming match. I'd heard she ended up at an art museum of some sort. Considering her talent, I'd hate to see what that place looked like when she was done.)

Every so often, we'd stop early for the day to help someone pack or throw them a farewell party. Slowly but surely, our classmates were finding work away from the Conclave and leaving. Veronica moved to Paris. Lucinda ended up in Silicon Valley. Kiara went back to Mumbai. I didn't ask Cassandra when she would be moving. She didn't ask me either.

And then, abruptly, it was done. --

I had spent so much time with Cassandra focused on finishing the project, of creating the Garden, that I had completely forgotten Madam Constance's words.

It was only after the final spell was cast and the growing tension surrounding us had snapped, sending flowers skyward, that I remembered. Cassandra was looking around the room in awe, spinning in wide circles to see the entire thing. Any other time, I would have been held spellbound, completely captivated by the sheer joy on her face. As it was, I stared blankly at the far wall in horror, a cold sinking feeling washing over my as I realized that I hadn't been paying attention. The heavy weight of my unfulfilled promise hung on me, and I almost stumbled.

My thoughts flickered wildly. What had she said? "Blood" was one of the things, right? I looked over my hands desperately. Had any of the flowers cut me? The leaves? What else had she said? "Sweat", maybe? There hadn't been that much physical activity, and Cassandra had done most of the actual plant work that had been required. What about--

"Hey," Cassandra said softly, grabbing my hands gently and holding them. "What's wrong?"

"I--" Her brown eyes were full of concern, so I looked over her head at the slowly tumbling flowers. I wasn't sure how to tell her. How did I explain that all the work we had done had been wasted? That it had slipped my mind, and as a result I was back to the beginning and completely out of ideas?

"It's yours," I told her helplessly, dropping my gaze back to hers. "It's your Gift, Cassandra."

Her hands were warm on mine, and one slipped out to brush my cheek and gently cup the side of my face. "No, Shiraz," she said. "It's ours."

I felt lighter than I had in months, the touch of her hand sending butterflies wild in my stomach. It took me a moment to realize that the giddy weightlessness wasn't just from feeling her skin on mine. The oppressive mantle of the Gift had been lifted, my promise fulfilled. A Gift offered, accepted, and delivered. "Oh," I breathed.

That's when Cassandra kissed me.

So I guess it all worked out.

--

Looking back at all of this from the benefit of a decade's distance, I'm pretty sure what Madam Constance meant was that any child required sacrifice, dedication, and commitment, whether the child was human or not. The "heart, soul, sweat, blood, and tears" she had mentioned were more of a metaphor than a literal checklist.

(It took me a couple years to figure that part out.)

A/N: This story was partially inspired by “Falling Garden” by Gerda Steiner & Jorg Lenzlinger

[forest-of-stories]

Fanfic Writer’s Year in Review!

I was tagged by @letterblade! <333

The following post will focus stories that I posted in their entirety on AO3 in 2018, and so will not include my X-Men: Evolution WIP Ordinary Town (which I started posting in 2017 and will probably finish this year), or most of the scenes in my Knight and Mage AU (although they total almost 5,000 words, which is Not Too Shabby).

Also, I’m skipping a couple of questions about character and pairing breakdowns.  Spoiler: while I wrote in a few different fandoms last year, I probably wrote more about one character and pairing than all of the others combined.

The stories...

Black Lightning:

Overridden (110 words)

Doctor Who

Three Heads Are Better (180 words)

Gravity Falls:

Like Something From A Dream (635 words)

Odd Twins Out (640 words)

Most Likely To Stay Weird (160 words)

Following Ghosts (1,020 words)

Tell You Anything (500 words)

Seen And Not Heard (2,940 words)

Only One Step Away (200 words)

Star Wars:

Treading Water (380 words)

Your Own Heart As Signal (500 words)

Light Me Up Again (415 words)

Mark My Words (600 words)

Secrets Silenced By The Shame (515 words)

Thank You For Sharing (310 words)

Fold Your Wings (165 words)

Stranger Things:

Missing Girls (560 words)

Tortall:

And We Are Left Standing (340 words)

Set Alight (400 words)

Wrapped In Darkness (465 words)

To See A Friend Go Down in Flames (1,000 words)

Those Seasons Made Up And Undone (1,815 words)

Moves and Countermoves (1,060 words)

We Were Meant To Be Sparks of Light (335 words)

Dreams Of The Spider (1,135 words)

Merciless Kisses (435 words)

If Your Strife Strikes At Your Sleep (670 words)

Sealed With A Spell (185 words)

The Cold Is Closing In (2,072 words)

In Winter Light (608 words)

Great Minds Together (240 words)

And I Start To Drown (1,895 words)

Only The Finest (185 words)

Captive Listener (240 words)

Flight of Curiosity (535 words)

Out Of The Rain (200 words)

As I Burn Up In Your Presence (2,412 words)

Total Fics: 37 Total Words:  c. 30,000

Specifics…

Best/worst title?

Best title:  Excluding the ones that come from songs (which is many of them)? I’m pretty happy with “Flight of Curiosity” and “Mark My Words,” both of which contain puns/double meanings while also – I think – saying something about the characters or tone of the stories.

Worst title: “In Winter Light” is serviceable, but I think I could have done better, and consequently ended up with one less title that included some variation on the word “light.”

Best/worst first line?

Best first line:  The shape of Arram’s mind is as familiar as the long, lean body that trembles beneath Ozorne’s hands.  (”Great Minds Together”) 

Really, what’s better than a sexy mindmeld between mage boyfriends who will one day be enemies? Nothing, that’s what.

Worst first line:  Alex sometimes feels more than a little bit dazed after talking to his knight-master, and so it takes him a moment to react – a moment that could have cost his life in a fight – when another familiar voice calls his name. (”And I Start To Drown”)

I’ve written a few first lines that tried to establish too much in one go, and that’s definitely one of them.

Best/worst last line?

Best last line: Much later, lying sore and spent in the darkness, Alex still isn’t sure whether he’s been punished or forgiven. (”Merciless Kisses”)

I think that does a good job of conveying something that I hope is apparent throughout my Tortall Trash Fire fics: that Alex almost but doesn’t quite realize how bad Roger is for him.

Worst last line: Alex turns another page, still uneasy, but certain that Roger will know what to do. He always knows. (”Those Seasons Made Up and Undone”)

I’m proud of that story, for the most part, but that line didn’t wrap it up as elegantly as I would have liked.

General questions…

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I can rarely predict these things.  My total number of works is higher than it’s been in past years, but some of those works are really, really tiny.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Tortall, without question.  I read and reread the Song of the Lioness books when I was younger, but another fan’s incidental comment about Alex motivated me to take another look at them.  And even when I realized how much the implications about his relationship with Roger (which mostly unfolds behind the scenes) pushed all of my buttons, I’m not sure I could have predicted that I’d be writing so much about it.

I am also not a huge fan of Rey/Kylo (though I totally understand why some people are!), so “Thank You For Sharing” was also decidedly unexpected, though I don’t plan to write them doing anything more than fantasizing about each other.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Probably “The Cold Is Closing In.”  There’s a lot of unexplored potential in Alex’s relationship with his own squire, and it’s always fun to write a character that understands a lot less than the reader (especially if someone else is manipulating their perceptions).

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

I was bemused to find out that “Secrets Silenced By The Shame” had the most kudos, especially since it was a Dead Dove ficlet written for a kink meme, focusing on the pain and anguish of a character about whom I have very mixed feelings, and I hid it behind an “Anonymous Creator” byline until very recently. Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I would have liked to see “Following Ghosts” get some more love, especially since the Gravity Falls fandom seems pretty fond of Wendy (as well we should be).

I always have a hard time answering this question, and it’s even trickier when thinking about the past year, since my most recent primary fandom is not what I would call a hotbed of activity, at least on AO3.  (They have a message board that is somewhat busier, but I haven’t investigated it much.)

Story that could have been better?

“Set Alight” could have worked better as part of a longer work (I can even guess at which one), but I was still very much testing those fannish waters at that point, so I can sort of understand why I was like, “Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks.”

Sexiest story?

I’m very happy with the third section of “Those Seasons Made Up and Undone,” which I think is Hot Wrong all over the place, but “As I Burn Up In Your Presence” had more sexy (and also Wrong) bits, and I’m pretty happy with those, too.

Saddest story?

Everything about Alex’s downward spiral is saddening to me. “To See a Friend Go Down in Flames” gives an outsider perspective on that spiral, so maybe that one.  “Missing Girls” and “Secrets Silenced by the Shame” are also meant to evoke a lot of pity and horror for the characters, and “Your Own Heart as Signal” is very much about grief, so maybe those.

Most fun?

“Most Likely to Stay Weird” (Waddles for Most Valuable Pig!). Story with single sweetest moment?

Either Kali giving Eleven calming visions in “Missing Girls” or the OT3 snuggles in “Flight of Curiosity.”

Hardest story to write?

I had never tried anything like the structure of “Seen And Not Heard,” and it took a fair amount of trial and error before I figured how to organize the sections and transition between them.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

“Merciless Kisses” (it helped that I had a really good set of prompts), or “Moves and Countermoves” (I often cackle when writing Roger, but probably never more than when he was trying to get under Myles’ skin).

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

The need for a fifth POV in “To See A Friend Go Down in Flames” gave rise to some very persistent headcanons about Geoffrey, a character who gets little to no canon characterization.  Also, although my Thoughts About Kylo Ren would probably derail this post more than any of us want or need, I sure did write a lot about his feelings last year.

Most overdue story?

“Following Ghosts” and “Seen And Not Heard” are both based on ideas that I’d referenced in previous works and wanted to follow up on ever since.  On the other hand, I’ve wanted to write the exact scenario in “Three Heads Are Better” for roughly a dozen years.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I think I learned a little bit more about how to set and contextualize a scene from the structure of “Seen And Not Heard,” which was, again, a pretty big risk.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

The first ones that come to mind are: wrap up this round of H/C Bingo, whip another “You Cannot Save Him With Your Love, Geoffrey” story into shape, and finally finish Ordinary Town.  More or less in that order.

I’ll tag @ellekess and anybody else who wants to do it!

[kirkegaardbendtsen14-blog]

Download and install Nds Child.

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Child A plagued as well as hunted by satanic forces, some of which is actually the press which bothers him mercilessly. Proceeding right into young boyhood, Stanford instructor Judy Chu argues in her recent manual When Children Come to be Children that this is actually society as opposed to attribute that incapacitates young boys' social and also emotional abilities. Unless Apple want to end up being only an additional technician business, and sign over all ideas of modifying the world to others, they will repair this. Although, shortly after, a new kid called, Danny, that's method and assumes soccer should just be actually participated in by boys ... hummph!, transfer down the road. Getting to know the young boys before they got to know Blue was actually a r OK. Source THIS MANUAL WAS ACTUALLY QUITE GREAT. Men are actually pushed to function, in some cases jobs they do not also would like to do, all so they could spend a girl, occasionally also for a child they didn't really want. 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[floofsta-x]

Rise Before the Fall, Pt.1

parts;; One (You are here) | Two | Three (coming soon)

genre;; Science fiction, fandom – Pacific Rim!AU

pairing;; Jooheon x I.M [Jookyun, Rapper Line]; PS there’s also Kiho in here, and mentions of Hyungnu and Minhyungnu

⚠️ warnings;; violence of course [THEY’RE FIGHTING GIANT ALIENS???], fluff, bucketloads of angst, depression due to terminal illness, and some smut eventually

words;; 5497 (5.5k)

title;; The final track of the Pacific Rim OST, Drift – Blake Perlman & RZA

author’s notes;; Ahhh! I am so excited to be able to share a bit of this with you at long last! This is the first part of a Jookyun miniseries, but trust me when I say that I also have a larger, more inclusive work on the way involving the rest of the boys and this gigantic extended universe–that’s honestly gotten way too out of hand. But I will deal with that as it happens. Anticipate! I really hope you enjoy this small offering while you wait ❤︎

    It is June, 2017.

Almost two years ago, the first Kaiju emerged from the deep-sea rift known as the breach. Massive, terrifying, toxic, indestructible by conventional means, and hellbent on destruction, it ravaged a great part of the Californian coastline before finally meeting its end in the form of a nuclear warhead. There was great rejoicing. Everyone believed the threat to be over. The world sighed in relief and went on with the everyday, content to think that the terror was a singular event, a freak of space and time.

Yet, when the next reared its ugly head and leveled a good part of Tokyo, and the third headed for Sydney, Australia, the brutal truth had to be accepted. There was no end in sight. So, a council of world leaders from the nations of the Pacific Rim put their heads together. They needed a match for the towering Kaiju, the alien monsters. Thus, the Jaeger was born: a hunter, a soldier scaled up to the extreme of the alien threat. It was a crazy idea, but one that was eagerly received in light of such dire circumstances.

To be able to kill the fast-moving, agile Kaiju, scientists employed experimental technology. They hoped that the Jaegers could be controlled via mental power alone. The idea was that by syncing a man’s brain and the warrior, they would able to move as one, and naturally. Scientists quickly learned that one person on their own could not handle the load. When a second added their willpower, though, things ran a whole lot smoother.

Given the green light to proceed with production, within months, a small fleet of Jaegers rolled out. A governing organization for their maintenance and command was created, too: the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps. The Jaegers could not operate without pairs of pilots, and so teams from around the world were meticulously chosen and trained. They were the first on the front lines, and ultimately also the first to realize that humankind’s gamble was paying off. One Kaiju was killed at the hands of a Jaeger. A second, six months later. The next, four months following.

Now, there is an emergence about every 5 weeks. The ragtag teams of rangers and Jaegers that exist at various points around the Pacific Rim have managed to check them off as they have come, but there have been unforeseen consequences for many. Innocent civilians have died of Kaiju Blue, from attack, and from fear and panic. Mark 1 and 2 Jaegers have gone down, killing pilots, experienced and inexperienced alike. The world is tired, though the human spirit fights on.

This is the story of two young men, recruited by necessity and hardened by combat. Forged into best friends in the cockpit of their Mark 2 Jaeger, Blind Rhythm, Lee Jooheon and Im Changkyun have managed to fight their way through 3 solo kills and 1 team drop without becoming an alien monster’s gigantic toy. They’ve just been deployed again, against the biggest, nastiest Kaiju yet, and they’re going to need every bit of wit, skill and strength they can muster…

Lee Jooheon jerked out of his deep, dreamless slumber and almost instantly realized that something was wrong. The familiar, piercing sound of sirens rang in his ears and bright light pushed the dark away as the LED screen on the wall of the bunkroom lit up. Though he was still hazy and scrabbling for alertness, one thought ran through his head and one thought alone: Kaiju. And since the screen is up, we’re being deployed, then. Groaning, he rolled over and rubbed his eyes, then glanced toward the clock on the wall. 12:15 blinked back at him in blocky lines. 

“Changkyun? Hey, let’s go man. We’re up.” The messy-haired, chubby-cheeked boy groaned sleepily, wiggling a little bit to rock the bed. Doubtless, momentarily there would come a reply like “Ok, ok, you don’t need to tell me twice, Jooheon hyung.”

But there was only silence. “Come on, don’t act like the maknae. People need us–” 

Wait a minute. I don’t even hear breathing. Jooheon rolled and slid out of bed, dropping the little ways to the ground, his knees bent as he hit the floor. Glancing behind him, it hit him that his suspicion was correct. The bottom bunk was empty, sheets not even touched. 

Dread descended on him. “Kyunie…where did you go this time?” he half-asked, sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. It was a futile question, only for his own peace of mind; he knew without even having to look around that his co-pilot wasn’t here. 

The LED panel was urgently trying to blind him, but it didn’t matter at the moment. As he stood there and tried to get the gears of his brain moving, Jooheon couldn’t seem to think of anything else but his best friend and partner in crime. Changkyun meant the world to him. They had flown together for three years, first in basic training, then the Air Force, and now for the PPDC. Now, on missions, they lived in each others’ heads, but far before that, they had known their friendship was special. It had always been so natural, and though they had a few hard times they found themselves unable to stay away for long.

Apparently, others noticed too. Six months ago, an officer had approached them and recruited them for the PPDC. Jooheon and Changkyun had become part of the second generation of Jaeger pilots. Many commented on how strong their drift compatibility was. At first, both of them thought that it was a blessing. Then, they rushed through training (the Los Angeles Academy was still non-existent at that point) before ultimately command told them that they were to fill the cockpit of a Mark 2.

Blind Rhythm, they named the mech–and the duo learned very quickly how truly terrifying facing down a Kaiju was. It was without a doubt the scariest thing anyone could do, but together they had managed to keep their cool and bagged their first kill.

The next one was a little better than the first. The third went down in no time. And now they were about to be thrust into the fray again.

Once the cold of the concrete floor had seeped into his bones and he felt alert enough to think, Jooheon glanced over at the screen at long last. This kaiju–Blitzkrieg, apparently–was hands down the biggest that had ever emerged from the breach. They already had stats on it, as well as possible primary offensive strategies and mechanisms. Thirty minutes until report time, the red clock in the corner blinked forebodingly. Thirty minutes to find my co-pilot.

As he pulled on a pair of tennis shoes on, Jooheon shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then dove out the door in his boxers and rumpled tank top. He didn’t care that he wasn’t wearing socks, that his hair was a mess, that he probably looked like he had walked out of the apocalypse. His brain was going too fast, thinking of possible places to find a twenty-one year old boy–because in a few ways he still was a boy–Changkyunie.

Jooheon jogged down the corridor, purposefully passing halls of bunks and quarters. His instinct was to ask someone, and of course the first person to cross his mind was Shin “Wonho” Hoseok, head of Blind Rhythm’s J-Tech team. Hoseok-hyung was a good friend of theirs and always supportive. Many admired him for his body, but those who really knew him easily saw that he was as kind-hearted as handsome and sexy.

Finally Jooheon pulled up in front of the door he needed and knocked. Faintly, from inside, there came, “Just a minute!” 

That was fine. He had seconds to spare; also, it was a perfect moment to lean forward and catch his breath. Finally, the doorknob wiggled and none other than Wonho himself pulled it open. 

Boy, was he a sight. His dark, blue-green streaked hair stuck out oddly, and he was half-naked and adjusting his boxers, like he had just put them on and pulled them up. More than that, though, Hoseok…well, to put it nicely, it looked like someone had been having a little bit of fun with him. Lines of red and black hickeys dotted his neck and collarbone, and his lips (plus the immediate area around them) were redder and more swollen than usual.

“Jooheon-ah!” He gasped when he realized who it was. “What are you doing here, shouldn’t you should be suiting up–”

“I know, I know.” The chubby-cheeked pilot waved his hand dismissively, and before the older boy could protest he cut in, “Have you seen or heard from Changkyun? I can’t find him.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Who is it, Hoseok-ah?” In the dark, another voice spoke; moments later, someone else quite unashamedly came up behind Wonho and wrapped their arms around his torso. A lazy hand ran down his chest and defined abs. Not too much to Jooheon’s surprise, it was Yoo Kihyun, another friend and a doctor in the medical bay. So that was why Wonho had been finding every excuse to go there lately.

“Jooheonie.” Kihyun said with surprise, regaining his professional posture, though he didn’t remove his arms from around the older man’s waist. “Why are you here? You drop in 25 minutes.”

“He’s looking for I.M.” Wonho explained, patting the hand on his stomach and subtly lacing his fingers with Kihyun’s. “You haven’t happened to see him, have you?”

The black-haired, sharp-faced doctor shook his head. “No. But–I have heard people say that for the last month or so, he goes outside at night. To the lake.”

Jooheon abruptly remembered the last time they had drifted, and mentally rebuked himself for not thinking of it sooner. He had found out that his best friend took nightly trips to the small man-made lake just beyond the compound to watch the stars and moon, and also forget about the throbbing, sometimes excruciating, pain in his head, at the base of his brain. “Oh yeah. Say no more. Thanks.” He glanced between the two touchy boys at the door. “I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

“It’s alright, Jooheon-ah.” Wonho smiled encouragingly. “Just, go find Changkyunie and whip some Kaiju ass…ok?”

“Will do, hyung.”

“We’ll be here for you when you return as heroes.” As the pilot stepped back and nodded, turning to go, Hoseok thought of one more thing and blurted, “Jooheonie?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please…not tell anyone?”

There it was. Jooheon knew that Wonho wasn’t oblivious to the state he was in. If that hadn’t done it, Kihyun’s loving gestures gave it away, and on top of that, Kihyun had placed himself straight behind Wonho because he was stark naked. It would take someone horribly stupid to not see the truth.

Jooheon smirked and nodded. “My lips are sealed.” Of course, there was also the drift, but Changkyun would totally understand. Both of them wanted Hoseok-hyung to be happy, and neither had ever seen him as radiant as he had been in the last few weeks. It was obvious, now, why that was.

With a final duck of his head to his hyungs, Jooheon took off in the direction of the exit.

Not too much later, he found his co-pilot sitting out on the end of the big dock, staring down into the water, tossing a little electronic thingy-or-other out across the lake, and catching it as it came back to him. He had invented it, probably. Jooheon couldn’t help but take a moment to stop and appreciate how ethereal Changkyun looked, sitting there with a leg up on the pier, gently bobbing up and down as the waves washed up against the floating walkway, and bathed in the light of the quarter-moon.

“Hyung.” Changkyun’s low voice rumbled as the older boy approached, and he tossed his creation out and bent his leg so that his co-pilot could sit beside him.

“Hey, Changkyunie.” Jooheon took the spot, content to relax a little and wait. He dipped a toe in the water, making ripples and watching them expand outward, the proverbial drop in the bucket of time or whatever that shit was.

Finally the older boy broke the silence. “Is it your head again?”

“It’s always my head.” Changkyun tapped the back of his neck, immediately above the first vertebrae. “Right there.”

“Yeah–I know, I felt it last drift. Weren’t you supposed to have an appointment in med bay about it?”

“I did.” Somewhere, a cricket stopped chirping, engulfing the boys in a moment of silence before another started up somewhere else. “Kihyun-ah–he and Hoseok are friends with benefits you know–ran some MRIs and told me that he’d see me again in a couple of days. He’s convincing, but couldn’t fool me. I know when a person’s beside himself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A storm of anger clouded Changkyun’s face. “He was pitying me. Dammit, Jooheon, I wish I knew why.” For a brief moment, Changkyun tensed before he was pulling in huge breaths, letting them out, and lowly humming an indiscernible tune. His pre-combat destress routine, he called it. “But that’s not going to help me now. I’ve gotta relax.”

“So you know, then. About the Kaiju.”

Wordlessly, the younger boy lifted his phone, and pulling his earbuds out of the headphone jack, flipped on the screen and gave it a shake. Voices started blaring through the speaker: various people in command, lead techs, LOCCENT. Almost the moment he did, familiar codes and names came over the air.

“514-M. Where are J and I? They’re not in their room or in the DR [drivesuit room]. Alpha’s wondering as well. Over.”

“514-W to 514-M and 514-Alpha. I’ve seen them. They’ll be there on time. Give them space. Over.”

Jooheon chuckled and shook his head. “You scoundrel, hacking the shatterdome’s private channel.” They normally had access to the feed, too, but with a special pager that was currently sitting in a drawer somewhere back in their room and definitely not with something as insecure as a cellphone. The channel was hidden to standard searching devices and came up blank, but somehow Changkyun had managed to tweak the phone or find another devious, secret way to listen.

“I haven’t cracked the frequency that matters, though.”

“Huh? You mean the one that Marshal Hyunwoo supposedly uses to talk to H.One? You still really believe that fantasy of yours is real?”

“Then why do we have seven 514 codes? And the last one’s 514-H, huh?”

“That’s easy. It’s from when Hyunwoo wasn’t in high command yet. He was only given the title Alpha after that happened.”

“Bull. He was 514-S; that was struck from the book a long time ago.”

Jooheon groaned, throwing his head back and giving an exasperated huff. “Think about what you’re saying, Changkyun. Our hyung? Talking to the most wanted man in South Korea, the Kaiju Black Market head?”

“Our research division gets the fresh material it does somehow. Also there’s substantial evidence for the rumor that Hyunwoo has a tryst with H.One.”

“That’s all just flying pigs and fucking lies to try to tear the Marshal down, and you know it.”

Changkyun sighed; but more because he wanted quiet and peace than anything else closely related to ‘You’ve won this one’. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Jooheon’s momentary anger at his partner cooled at the memory of how intense his pain was. Yeah, this stupid Shownu and H.One thing had existed prior, but–Jooheon couldn’t stop his friend from thinking altogether. Perhaps it made him forget the throb in the back of his head for a while or the stress that it put on him to be so young and have to fight things that could rip him apart limb from limb like nothing. Jooheon certainly had those coping mechanisms, too: rap, for instance. The occasional broken toaster or coffee pot. Looking after wizard hacker Changkyun. 

Finally, at long last, the older boy murmured, “Are you going to be ok to fly?”

Pressing his mouth into a line and sticking his tiny invention into his pocket, Changkyun nodded. “Yeah. I took some ibuprofen before I tried going to bed and I’ll have some more when we get back to the room.” He turned and pushed himself up, to his feet, holding out a hand for support as Jooheon stood. “I’ll be fine. Time to go draw some blue blood, yeah?”

“Hell, yeah.”

Just like Wonho had said, the two of them were right on time. Side by side they had their Drivesuits put on and stepped into the Conn-Pod. Once they were connected to the tangle of wires and metal comprising the command platform and feedback cradle, they made the drop onto Blind Rhythm’s nuclear-powered body. Jooheon and Changkyun felt themselves lock into the systems and start pulling weight with the Jaeger controls.

Not too long after that, a familiar, sunny voice crackled through the comms. “Welcome back, Blind Rhythm. Everything is looking smooth and clear and sunny…of course there’s no sun, but proverbially we’ll say–”

Changkyun groaned, glancing over at Jooheon and rolling his eyes. “We get it, Minhyuk…” 

“Ahem. Yes. Right. Well, the Marshal is now on deck, let’s get this Kaiju taken care of. Neural Handshake initiating in five seconds: five, four, three–”

This was the moment of truth. Jooheon and Changkyun glanced at each other one last time before they got sucked into the drift. The familiar falling feeling washed over them, of floating through each other’s memories: old ones from their childhoods, new ones from tonight, and everything in between. 

Finally they jerked back to the present. “Neural handshake holding, strong as ever…” Minhyuk noted, to be formal. For the Marshal, of course. The pilots swung into the calibration phase, before declaring that they were ready for combat, awaiting orders.

“Gentlemen, I hope you’re aware that this is a mother of a Kaiju.”

Gentle smiles spread on the faces of the two pilots at the sound of Marshal Hyunwoo’s voice. “Yes, we know that.” Jooheon responded with what they both were thinking.

“Good. Blitzkrieg is quickly approaching the miracle mile and seems to be heading for us; or, worse, Seoul. We can’t let it get past here. You are to dispatch it on sight.”

“Yes, sir.” 

The huge steel doors of the coastal shatterdome pulled apart with a groan. Blind Rhythm stepped out onto the tarmac, then into the cold, dark, but calm sea, striding out into the water, fists clenched. Jooheon reached up for a moment to flip off the comms. “Changkyun, I don’t feel as much pain as last time, but the pressure’s there–are you ok?”

“Yes, hyung, I told you.” 

The older boy’s eyes softened as he saw that his co-pilot was doing his best to contain his temper. “You realize that if you black out, I don’t think I can survive running this Jaeger by myself.”

Deep breaths, Changkyun. Ran through both of their heads. Then, You’ll still try, though, won’t you Jooheon?

I care about you, Kyunie. I’d die for you. That’s why, yes, I’ll try, if worse comes to worse. But we need to kill this motherfucking terror together.

A mile was nothing for a man as tall as a jaeger, and soon they were sitting in their target zone. “Ok Minhyuk, feed us things.” Changkyun said, eyes darting left and right. “Where is it?”

“It seems to be circling around; I think it’s sensed y–Oh, fuck!” 

“What, Min–”

“It put on a burst of super speed–closing in on you, eleven o’clock–get out of the way, fast–!”

Blind Rhythm had just enough time to sidestep before a huge, black and blue figure emerged from the sea, mouth wide open and clawed arms extended. It missed, barely, and flew on past, landing back in the water, kicking up mist and waves as it swung around. A brief moment of calm passed. Both monster and mech seemed to be sizing each other up.

“Christ–you were right when you said it was a mother, Marshal,” Jooheon muttered in awe. In addition to being the largest Kaiju they had ever seen, Blitzkrieg was agile-looking. It was ugly, too, with the body of a big cat, a slender tail with a massive, clubbed end, and the face of a Gharial crocodile–except with more eyes and several layers of long, pointed teeth in its mouth. The beast growled ominously before opening its jaw wide and making another leap for Blind Rhythm.

“Arm razor!” Both boys shouted together and flicked their outside wrists. A gap opened up down the Jaeger’s arms; long, knife-like blades reaching from fist to shoulder slid out.

As the Kaiju landed on top and knocked them over into the water, Jooheon and Changkyun threw their first left hook. Though they were aiming for the neck, it nailed the beast in the side of the head instead. Not like that wasn’t as good of a hit, though. Blitzkrieg roared in pain and shook its head, backing off. The Jaeger managed to roll over (with some effort) and scrabbled back to its feet, water washing off of the gray hull.

They only had seconds before they were set on again, the stone-like mass on the Kaiju’s tail smashing into their side. Changkyun, the left hemisphere, cried out; the backwash of pain got Jooheon’s blood boiling.

“You–you son of a bitch!” The older boy roared and straightened, reaching out to grab the tail as it came around for another hit. “Give us that!” By then, Changkyun had recovered. Quickly he grabbed just below where Jooheon’s right hand was, flicking his wrist down. The sharp blade on the side of the Jaeger’s wrist sliced clean through, detaching the club.

The Kaiju’s roars were starting to become more angry than pained; but the two boys could tell that taking off the tail had hurt. Jooheon flung the dead flesh out to sea. Then at the sight of the beast’s gaping maw coming around to snap at them, he instinctively leaned in with a shoulder. The beast attached itself there, and this time the older pilot was the one to have white hot agony flash through him. He thought that he could feel the individual rows of teeth burrow in; the beast chewed a little. “Agh! This is your chance Changkyun!”

The younger boy gritted his teeth and put his arm up against the Kaiju’s exposed neck. Acidic blue blood started running down as the knives cut into its flesh.

As the monster reared back to get away, Jooheon summoned his strength and reached up, electrical wires sparking and popping, and grabbed onto the long jaw, pulling the whole beast back toward them and onto Changkyun’s arm. In one smooth, fluid motion the latter elbowed out, cutting deep, deep into a weak spot in the Kaiju’s armor. The only thing that stopped them from taking its head off completely was its spine.

Wheezing and unable to breathe, the Kaiju stepped back, knowing that it was at its end. Blood poured out of the gash the Jaeger had created. Together, Jooheon and Changkyun reached down and grabbed the snout once more, but from the underside, surging forward and pushing the beast back, bending its neck at an extreme angle. Moments later, a snap ripped through the air, and the beast hung lifeless in their grip. Everything was silent, except for the two pilots’ heavy breathing. Blue blood dripped from the Jaeger’s hands into the sea.

Then there was a cheer from LOCCENT, Minhyuk at the forefront of it. “Kaiju Blitzkrieg has been eliminated!“

“Good work, boys.” Marshal Hyunwoo told the two pilots. “Leave the body there, we’ll have a containment dome over it soon.”

Neither Jooheon nor Changkyun spoke to each other as they strode back through the water to the shatterdome. They really didn’t need to; they knew what was running through each other’s heads. Shock lingered from everything that had just happened–and so fast.

Techs were swarming all over the damaged mech almost the moment that it reached the bay and powered down. When the pilots stepped out of the conn-pod onto the high walkway, Wonho was waiting, a huge grin on his face. His collared uniform covered up the area where Jooheon knew Kihyun’s bruises had turned purple. “Congrats guys.”

“Thank you Hoseok.” Jooheon nodded to their friend and grinned.

But Changkyun said nothing, just shuffled and stared at the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet. For some reason, after being in a Jaeger, pilots could still often feel what the other was thinking even after the neural handshake broke. The first pilots had called it a Post-drift hangover, and the name stuck. The raging one Jooheon had now told him everything. 

The painkillers were wearing off, and the throb in the back of the younger boy’s head was now unbearable. He felt like he was about to black out, but determinedly he kept himself upright. It took all his strength. He hadn’t even noticed Hoseok standing there.

Behavior like this wasn’t normal for Changkyun, and Wonho quickly picked up that something was wrong. He made a worried face and tilted his head quizzically at Jooheon.

“It’s ok.” the chubby-cheeked pilot reached over and placed a hand gently on his best friend’s shoulder. The younger boy looked up at him, in the eyes. Pain was evident on Changkyun’s face, and sunk deep into his irises. “Maybe something happened during the drift, I should take him to the med bay–”

At ‘med bay’, Changkyun seemed to come alive, and he shrugged off the hand, cutting in almost defensively, “No. I’m fine. I just need a little while.” Jooheon could see him fill up his lungs all the way, and then with a calmer tone, addressed their hyung. “Yes, thank you, Hoseok. Please take care of her.” 

“I’ll do my best.” Wonho nodded, knowing full well that he was referring to the Jaeger. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes.” Exasperation seeped back into the maknae’s tone. “I just need out of this drivesuit.” He started pulling at the release latch for the spinal clamp, behind his head.

“Changkyunie,” someone called from down the walkway, and Minhyuk came jogging to them. “Wait, let’s get back to the DR.”

The tall, slender LOCCENT officer led them there, but they made slow progress. Jooheon had to catch Changkyun on his shoulder, after the latter stumbled and almost fell in the hallway. Quietly, so that Minhyuk wouldn’t hear, Jooheon prodded his co-pilot, “Why won’t you let me take you to the medical bay? You need it.”

Changkyun let out a labored sigh. “I don’t want them looking at me.”

“We can ask for Kihyunie. You trust his hands, don’t you?”

Weakly, the younger boy shook his head. “You know, I told you earlier that Kihyun was pitying me? Everyone there looks at me like that. I don’t want to go.”

Right about that time, they reached the drivesuit room and Minhyuk turned to help them. Jooheon motioned that his co-pilot should get help first. Minhyuk only nodded and settled Changkyun down into a chair. In no time his slender, deft fingers had pulled the release. After that, the circuitry suit zipper only needed to be undone before he could slide out of the battle armor. 

Soon enough Jooheon was out, too, leaving both boys in underwear only. Changkyun tried getting into habit, but his best friend stopped him and gently pried the clothes from his hands, handing him a different set instead.

If anyone saw them as they went back to their room, no one interrupted. Jooheon wondered if it was a funny sight: one chubby cheeked boy in uniform, carrying another on his shoulders. The passenger wasn’t in uniform but instead in a pair of athletic shorts and a hole-ridden tee shirt. His arms and legs wrapped around the other, and his eyes drooped closed involuntarily.

Jooheon could feel Changkyun’s thoughts blank in and out as he succumbed to a mixture of pain and exhaustion. At long last he could set his co-pilot down in his bed. Jooheon pulled the sheets over the younger boy, and sat there a minute to rub his forehead before Changkyun’s consciousness flicked off for good.

The two pilots slept for a long time, and woke up feeling at least better about the kill they had managed to pull off. After that, a couple of days passed slowly. Changkyun still had excruciating pain, but the day-to-day routine they resumed, packed full of training, conditioning, and downtimes with friends, made it not as bad.

Jooheon couldn’t help worrying constantly about his best friend. He had never considered himself to be an anxious person, but now that Changkyun was struggling to live normally, he found that it was so easy to get that nauseous feeling at the thought of how sad and in pain the younger boy was. It ate at Jooheon. All he could do to keep himself level was stick to his own routine.

One evening, Jooheon returned to their bunk around six pm to discover that Changkyun wasn’t there. He hadn’t seen him in any of the usual places, so he had assumed the younger boy had already returned here. Jooheon’s stomach dropped, but he somehow managed to convince himself that it wasn’t reason to worry. Faintly, he remembered that Kihyun had called Changkyun back and asked him if he would be willing to meet for an appointment at five. Of course, Kyunie had agreed, and that was probably where he was now.

Changing into some comfy jeans and a black tee, Jooheon lounged at his desk. Taking out some clamps and screwdrivers, he busied himself in pulling apart a blender that he had found abandoned in a hallway. Many people in the shatterdome knew Jooheon’s talent for mechanics and so trusted him with various repairs. After realizing that he was being called on more and more, he started charging a small fee for his services. He also picked up appliances sometimes and worked on them, cleaning them for resale or personal use. The almost-mindless work kept his brain occupied and wiped away the stress of the day. 

The next time Jooheon looked up, the digital clock on the wall said 11:00, and the ranger’s eyes widened.

His next thought was the realization that Changkyun still wasn’t back. If he was going to sleep tonight, he would have been here long ago. Instantly, Jooheon knew where he would more than likely be. He still went out to the lake lots of times. Often Jooheon would let him have his peace, but considering that Kyunie had met with Kihyun today…a feeling deep in the pit of the older boy’s stomach urged him to go.

So minutes later, Jooheon found himself out in the night air, hands in pockets, wandering out to the water’s edge. It was a nice evening, but for some reason the wind chilled him more than normal. 

Changkyun was sitting in his usual spot: on the dock, both feet over the edge, motionless. So motionless in fact that Jooheon wondered for a moment if he was asleep. But as he heard his hyung’s footsteps approach, the younger boy turned his head to see who was there and tried his hardest to smile. 

With a jolt, Jooheon realized that his best friend was paler than the moonlight that shone down on him. The chubby-cheeked ranger plopped down next to Changkyun, their hips pressed together, body heat warming each other up. 

For a moment, sitting like this, neither spoke. 

“Is it your head again?”

Changkyun smiled weakly and laughed a little. “It’s always my head.” giving the tiniest hint of a sly grin, he lifted his hand and tapped the usual spot. “Right there.”

Jooheon didn’t have the heart to continue on. Nor did he know how to. Another long moment of silence reigned, expectant silence, unsure silence.

“Jooheonie, I’m dying.”

[colourinside]

11 questions

I was tagged by @onthedriftinthetardis a while ago to answer these 11 questions. Thank you for tagging me (♥♥), I’m so sorry it took me so long to do this! I’m guessing, it is now my turn to answer your 11 questions, right? Weeelll, allons-y then!

Tropes you’d like to see more of?

This is a difficult question. I am quite sure I have something to say to this but since I mostly don’t really think of the things I’d like to see as “tropes”, it is difficult to think of some and even name them now. But I guess one thing I definitely like to see more often, are unconventional masculinities? You know, men who, for example, let themselves cry and are rather shy and really sensitive in general? Also, different sexual orientations or gender identities just not being a big deal. Like, they are casually mentioned and nobody makes a fuss. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can think of right now...

What would constitute your perfect Saturday night?

Well, obviously my girlfriend has to be there and we’d first have an unconventional dinner like fish fingers and custard and then cuddle on the couch while watching an episode of a great show or a fantastic movie. And afterwards, we discuss the movie/episode and watch some more TV. So basically Netflix and chill, but literally? :) 

What’s your favourite outdoor experience? 

There are many things I really love. Walking somewhere in nature where there is a great view, like, somewhere you can see the sea (see what I did there?) or exploring a city and walking from one amazing place right to another (like, you know, a movie/TV show locations rally) or picnicing somewhere on a meadow or near a lake... also walking around a city in a Cosplay, all the while being 100% in character... and so much more ♥

What’s one thing you want to do this summer?

Well, I am going to do an internship and I guess I also really want to do it. I also want to (or should/need to... uh) write at least two of the four seminar papers I’ll have to write for this semester, since I won’t have much time to finish them during the next semester since I’ll be abroad (in the UK)... uh. Yeah, apart from that, I guess I want to find some time to relax, some time I can spend with my friends, since I will do the internship in the city I used to live in. Many people will want to spend some time with me and it’ll be great :)

Who do you admire most? What is it about them that inspires you?

I really admire my best friend. She’s already been working on a cruise ship for half a year and she said it helped her grow out of her insecurities quite a lot. She seems so self-confident to me. She grew stronger, she is more relaxed about her future and her life choices in general. And while being so experienced at such a young age, she’s so grounded at the same time. She somehow manages stuff, she embraces challenges, they help her get out of her shell and don’t scare her deeper into it. It’s kinda fascinating to me how she combats fear and worries. And she can train herself to stop thinking a certain way. Like, when she detects a way of thinking about things that is harmful, she tries to cope by telling herself that thinking like that if of no use and to better stop thinking like this. And it works. I tried working on myself in the same way because I found her techniques so impressive. So far, it’s helping me quite a lot :)

What’s your favourite thing about your current primary fandom(s)?

Oh gosh, I dunno? The characters mostly? They are fascinating. Also, there’s a lot of fanfiction potential. Like a lot. Doctor Who for example is such a great universe (literally) and you can speculate so much. Also I love the way sexual orientations and gender identities are spoken about in (RTD era) Doctor Who. Just like it should be done. No big deal, no big drama :)

If you could take one trip anywhere in space & time and then safely return, where and when would you go?

Fuck, time and space. Uh. Damn. I guess, I’ll have to be boring and pick the 1920ies. I really kinda like that time period. Yes, I’d like to see England in the 1920ies, you know the later Downton Abbey England. I like the hairstyles and fancy dresses (at least some of them)... and I generally like England. Very much. So, there’s that xD

After a long day of work/school/life, what do you like to do to relax?

I like to just throw myself onto my bed or onto the couch and either read or just lie there and scroll through tumblr on my phone and/or listen to my Spotify songs. Sometimes, after an exhausting day, it can be the best to just lie there and stare. Just doing nothing. Dolce Farniente. 

How do you feel about vegetables?

Since I am a vegetarian, it would kinda be rather bad if I didn’t like them, wouldn’t it? I honestly like most of the vegetables I know of and I regularly eat them. I just don’t like cooked peppers or even peppers in salads. I don’t know, the only way I enjoy eating peppers is raw and pure... Hm. I really eat as good as every kind of vegetable. There is none I can think of that I really despise with a passion. I mean, I don’t eat every single kind of vegetable with a passion but I eat them. Some with more enthusiasm than others. ;)

Where is your favourite place to shop?

Uh. I could name a few shops but I don’t think they’ll be known to most of you people on here. So, let me just say, I rather shop in some pedestrian area in Italy (or wherever) than in some bigger shopping centre. Smaller shops mostly have the greater things. More unique. More special somehow :) 

Do you play any video games? If so, what are your all-time favourites?

I’m afraid I have to disappoint in this regard. I don’t play any nor have I ever played any video games, at least not regularly. I am horrible at them. Well, I did play some Lego Whatever X-Box/Wii games with my brother, those were the only ones I didn’t suck at completely (Like Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Star Wars, Lego Harry Potter, Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, Lego Batman,... come to think of it, we had quite a few...). I also like playing those classical Wii games like Wii Party, Wii Sports (Resort) and Wii Fit... I’m sorry if those don’t count, but I really don’t play anything else. I mean, I had a Nintendo DS and I played Nintendogs and some Super Mario sometimes but... I guess that doesn’t count either? Uh.

And now I have to think of 11 questions, correct? Uh... I hope you don’t mind if I simply ask some of yours again and also take some of those you were asked... I’m bad at making up questions haha

My 11 questions:

What would constitute your perfect Saturday night?

What’s one thing you want to do this summer?

Who do you admire most? What is it about them that inspires you?

What’s your favourite thing about your current primary fandom(s)?

If you could take one trip anywhere in space & time and then safely return, where and when would you go?

Tell me about one tradition in your country you regularly partake in.

What is one thing you love about your family?

What is one essential trait of a good friendship?

Do you have a tattoo? If so, what do you have? If not, do you want one?

What is one song you currently listen to on repeat?

What is one song that always makes you happy? Tell me about the memory you associate with it. 

I just realised, I forgot to tag people haha... sorry! So, I’ll tag: @chocolate-and-fandoms, @joi-in-the-tardis, @julibellule, @wordstothewisereaders, @jem-scribbles, @madabouttennant, @curiositykilledtheslug and @mrslydiaholden :)  

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

“Mutant Empire: Siege” Ch 5 & 6

Okay guys, here's my notes for Chapter Five and Six of “Siege” the first book in the “Mutant Empire” triology! We get some interesting Charles/Erik debate stuff, reflection on the reality of how relationships are basically all sacrified for the X-Men, some Acolytes team dynamics, and MILAN! 

MILAN IS SO ADORABLE OMFG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH especially because the way he acts with Magneto is the way I've always written Anne Marie with Magneto? I want to put him with the first-gen Acolytes so he can fanboy with Anne Marie about THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR MAGNETO and so Delgado can protect him <3 This is SUPER LONG so it’s under a cut

CHAPTER FIVE This chapter is about the X-Men, not the Acolytes, so no Magneto or Milan, but here's a few bits I thought worth noting

“Where Dr. Henry P. McCoy could forget, just for a moment, that he was a member of that elite race known as homo sapiens superior.” Elite race seems a....poor word choice. But this kinda comes back to what I talked to you two about before, about how I think certain forms of bigotry are actually MORE likely among mutants (ableism, scientific racism, etc.) because so much of mutant identity and the way mutants are understood both by society and themselves is based around being the “next step of human evolution” and being able to do things other people can't, etc.

“Finally, Bobby looked over at him, raised eyebrows in place of an actual shrug. His body had filled out from the time he'd joined the X-Men as a teenager. These days he was muscular and fit. But Hank figured that tousled brown hair and open, genuinely handsome features would make him look like a college boy forever.” Is...is Hank kinda gay for Bobby here? I didn't think straight guys thought about other guys bodies filling out with muscle or having handsome features. But then again, straight girls get to straight up compliment other girls on their boobs and it's not gay, so maybe I'm just falling victim to the homophobic mindset that guys can never ever EVER notice anything attractive about another guy or it's TOTALLY HOMO which is not something I support. Normalize bros saying their bros look nice today! You go novel! Anyway, Bobby has pointed out that they're fighting for their future and their children and all that, but the reality is that none of them except Jean and Scott have been able to have a consistent relationship that lasts more than a year, so most likely none of them actually will ever have children. Deep, man. I mean, I guess if you wanted to go all selfless hero you could say “yeah but other children still matter!” but the fact is, they have basically given up their lives for this. Wolverine tells Storm he wants to be on her X-team and not Scott's because Scott at least sort of expects Wolverine to call him boss, whereas being called “boss” surprises Storm every time. Okay, I'm calling bullshit, no way SCOTT would expect LOGAN to call him boss, whereas Storm is THE BOSS OF ALL BOSSES ok, this queen led a team of X-Men at the same time she was leader of the Morlocks at the same time she was White KING of the Hellfire Club. And this is when SHE DIDN'T HAVE HER POWERS. She is THE boss. I am just gonna say Logan is trying to suck up to her. BECAUSE SHE'S THE BOSS! “Attention X-Men. This is Colonel Tomko, United States Army. You are trespassing at a top-secret federal facility. Throw down your weapons and surrender or you will be fired upon.” “Seem a little anxious to shoot a couple mutants, don't they?” Uh, no, Wolverine, I think it's that you're a group of known vigilantes with a history of leaving a whole lot of destruction, trespassing at a top-secret government facility, and carrying A HUGE PLASMA RIFLE. Like I feel like the fact they are giving the X-Men warning here proves they'd rather NOT open fire, because like...look what happens to actual minorities when they encounter racist government authorities while NOT trespassing and NOT carrying weapons and NOT known criminals? Like I feel like this warning would have been just as easily issued to a bunch of humans, especially if said humans were a vigilante group commonly believed to be terrorists by the public and also toting A BIG FUCKING GUN like sell me on this 'feared and hated' thing a bit better please. I...have a hunch this writer might be a white dude, if he thinks this is what constitutes super-obvious out-of-bounds bigotry from government authority towards a minority seen as dangerous.

CHAPTER SIX Ok, here's where we get Magneto and Milan and the Acolytes! It starts out with some stuff about Charles and Erik, and I know you guys are hella down for that, so here's the bigass quote because I love you enough to type it all out: “Xavier would see the light at last. That was important to Magneto. Once, they had been the best of friends, but their divergent dreams tore them apart. Ever the idealist, Charles would argue with him hour after hour, day after day, until finally Magneto realized he must act to make his dream real, rather than simply debate its finer points. The last time they had parted as friends, at peace with one another, the argument had reached new heights. In the heat of the Israeli summer, desert sand flying in the sweltering wind, bodies baking inside uncomfortable clothing as their Jeep bounced on rutted unpaved roads, their already-tattered friendship was torn asunder. Finally, Magneto had insisted that Charles recognized the primary flaw in his philosophy. “And what might that be?” Charles asked, eyes narrowing at this new approach to the debate. “It's so obvious, Charles,” Magneto had answered, “You see it around you every day, in every newspaper, in every city. It's something I learned in war that you have yet to accept. Human society needs someone to hate. There must be a bottom rung on the ladder. Right now, mutants are it, and I don't see anyone else climbing up after us. Therefore, as long as mutant society exists in its current form, humans will hate and fear mutants.” Charles was quiet for a long time after that, his face darkened by the shadow of his consternation. When he met Magneto's gaze again, he seemed unsettled, yet determined. “There are certainly humans who need to hate,” Charles began, “But I do not believe that is true of humanity as a whole. Humans and mutants can live in peace, Magnus. I will never believe otherwise. Never.” That stubborn quality had blinded Charles from the beginning, and Magneto believed that it still did. But not for long. In one day, he would teach Charles Xavier what he not been able to in all the long years since they had first met. Today.” I think this is really interesting for two reason. The minor reason is that the “humans need someone to hate” isn't something I've seen Magneto say before (though that could be because I've read far less of him than you, Hex) Like I feel like he's said things that are CLOSE but not this specific. The bigger thing, though, is that this points out what a lot of people miss in fandom in my opinion, that Charles is as adamant in his stance as Magneto is in his. He gets painted a lot as the soft and yielding one who compromises, but he's NOT. He does NOT compromise with Magneto one little bit, he is NOT open to Magneto's ideas, and you know what, GOOD, he shouldn't be. But I feel like that tends to get forgotten and Magneto is the only one people talk about as being hubristic in his belief he's absolutely right, even though Xavier is doing the same thing. Also, even though I really like this, I have to point out that at this point in the timeline...the claim that mutants are the bottom rung really would not apply? Mutants were NOT really cropping up enough to be noticed by the public at that point in time, Magneto and Xavier were the first of their kind each other had met, the whole “mutants as a persecuted minority” thing didn't start till the 1980s. Magneto's belief back then, if I recall right, is supposed to be that mutants will BECOME treated like other minorities, not that they already ARE. Now on to Milan, my favorite part/person. He's still mentally hooked up to a computer to broadcast a jamming signal so the US military's radios don't work (Magneto and the Acolytes have taken over the military base where the Sentinels are kept) while Magneto's magnetic force shield (MAGNETS ARE MAGIC I GUESS) keeps them out. Milan's consciousness is “completely integrated into the computer core” and the poor baby is totally slumped over like a corpse. We get a POV switch to Amelia Voght. In case you don't know who that is, Jon, she's a mutant woman (a teleporter, precisely) who is not only an Acolyte, but was Xavier's girlfriend when he founded the X-Men. But she considered that to be “asking for trouble” and wanted to live a normal life, so she left him  (and he tried to MIND-CONTROL HER INTO STOPPING) It's not clear exactly what happened in her life later, but apparently she lost her family and everything else to humans, according to her, and she decided that, also according to her, since every decision she made was bad, she'd let someone else do it. But she was always one of the questioning, less hateful Acolytes despite this claim she WANTED someone else to think for her. Oh, and she's the poor lady that Fabian tried to shove in his would-be harem. I would like to note he's still dead at the time this novel takes place, and while I would like to see him, I am glad for Amelia's sake that his skeevy self isn't around. Anyway, we get this infodump on her past, and this interesting bit gets said: “When he began to build the foundations for the X-Men, their relationship became...well, competition was the only word she could think of. If she had wanted to continue her relationship with Xavier, she would have had to throw herself wholly into his dreams for the X-Men.” I guess this is something I technically knew, but never thought about: That anyone romantically involved with Xavier basically has to be involved with his dream too. They're inseparable. I'd say the same is true of Magneto too except he does end up having a tryst or two where that doesn't apply, like with Lee Forrester, but then again I think that was when he wasn't a villain? I can't remember. But I think this also goes back to what Bobby and Beast were talking about, about how they probably won't ever have kids and a family and all. And canon reflects this. Not only do a lot of superhero relationships not last, but if one of the parties is NOT a superhero, they usually DIE. I guess this doesn't really come up in RP a lot because everybody is playing a member of the X-Men or Brotherhood or similar, no civilians, but, yeah. (Or civilians who can just...somehow be buddy-pals with bad guys and never had it affect them or think twice about these people being CRIMINALS >>) Also just because Amelia questions the violence and methods of the anti-human Acolytes, we're reminded she also thinks that the X-Men are “hopeless fools all, seduced by romanticism and wallowing in ignorance” and that she will be “happy to teach them the error of their ways.” Magneto tells Amelia to watch her back in battle around Carmella Unuscione, and Amelia thinks how she expects that from Unuscione but is surprised Magneto would “deign” to mention it. For some reason, this makes her worry he has romantic interest in her. I don't pretend to understand the leap that she's making here. She then wonders if he's trying to manipulate a confrontation between her and Unuscione, which makes slightly more sense at least. Just slightly. As for what Magneto is thinking, we get back to his POV, and it's neither. He is confident that Amelia can handle herself against Carmella, but he believes the women are on a “collision course” for each other's throats and he doesn't want to see their conflict undermine the “Empire Agenda” which is what his plot is called. We never see any sign of this dymanic between Amelia and Carmella in the comics, nor any backstabbing traits from Carmella, which is why I really enjoy these novels---the comics don't have time to give a lot of development to the personalities and team dynamics to the bad guys, it's hard enough working that in with the good guys in a 25-page issue, but the novels frequently take time to develop this stuff even for the baddies that don't usually get it. Milan 'wakes up' to tell Magneto that “We're ready, My Lord” and Magneto thinks he looks like he's dying and he's all sweaty but he seems super pleased at Doing A Good and dgkgksfkg I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUUUUCH and he says all that's needed to reprogram the Sentinels now is to enter Magneto's password. “For a moment, Magneto wished he did not have to disappoint one of his most faithful Acolytes, but there was no avoiding it.” Oh no! What is Magneto about to do?! Magneto: “I'm sorry, Milan, but I must take over from here.” Milan: “My Lord? Have I offended you somehow, Lord? What may I do to salve whatever wrong I have produced. Surely, there must be...” Magneto: “Please, Milan, be still. You have done no wrong.” OH NO, THIS PRECIOUS ANXIOUS NERD HE THINKS HE DID A BAD BECAUSE MAGNETO IS TAKING OVER THE REST OF THE JOB

LOVE HIIIIM Anyway, Mags puts in his password (“Empire”) and identifies himself as “Erik Magnus Lehnsherr, called Magneto, White King of the Hellfire Club” and we learn that Shaw programmed this all in for him while he was with the Hellfire Club in the 1980s. So Magneto not only KNEW that Shaw had Sentinels, Shaw set things up for Magneto to use them! Holy shit, HOW GOOD WAS THE MAGNET DICK, SHAW?! Magneto has to put his fingers down to scan for fingerprints and cut off a swatch of skin for genetic analysis to confirm it's him (smart move, Shaw, that keeps out shapeshifters) and when it does, Magneto winces, and: “My Lord, you are in pain,” Milan said, and Magneto almost laughed at the childlike wonder in the man. Though it was possible devout piety and childlike wonder were too often confused.” OH MY GOD HE -IS- ANNE MARIE ANNE MARIE IS THE GIRL JOCK, MILAN IS THE BOY NERD, THEY ARE THE RULE 63 VERSIONS OF EACH OTHER CLEARLY SRSLY THIS IS JUST LIKE HOW I WRITE ANNE MARIE WITH MAGS AND IT MAKES ME LOVE HIM I WOULD LOVE HIM ANYWAY ALL THE LOVE FOR MILAN

Cut to some government people. Specifically Valerie Cooper and Henry Gyrich. These are long-standing canon characters, and long story short, Cooper is on the side of mutants and Gyrich is not. But bigot though he might be, GYRICH IS CLEARLY SMART because I don't think ANYONE else has thought of this in the X-series before: “Then we can only assume, as I have long believed that Professor Xavier is directly tied to the X-Men.”

GASP! Val Cooper, who knows that's indeed the case, tells Gyrich basically pssh no, we just know that Xavier is friendly with the Beast (whose identity is apparently public? I guess because he was a member of the Avengers and Defenders for awhile) and Beast has been seen with the X-Men before, so probably Xavier passed on such and so info to Beast who passed it on to the X-Men. ...I feel like this is MORE support for Gyrich's guess, not less. But she continues she finds even this idea unlikely because Xavier has too much to lose in terms of support for mutant rights if he did something to make himself so unfavorable to the current administration. Yup, that's Professor Xavier, never puts a toe out of line, perfectly respectable law-abiding human guy! ;)

Surprisingly, Gyrich agrees with her, but now he thinks it's the X-Men who took over the facility (the one Magneto has taken over) Whoops. Back to Milan and beating himself up immediately when Magneto says he needs to take over, this reminds me of when he does that in the comics too. Like when he couldn’t get everything from Moira’s head that they needed all at once when he was trying to digitally reroute her memories on to the computer to get info they needed, he said that he felt like he had failed his brethren. Amazingly, it was FABIAN who comforted him, saying that,“You’ve done nothing wrong, Milan. The task you set yourself up for was monumental. Using your mutant ability to psionically transfer mental impulses into electromagnetic video impulses is difficult to apply under the best of circumstances. Having to fight this human’s formidable will makes it nearly impossible. I am confident that wherever Magnus is, our true lord and master has blessed you for your efforts.” AW, FABIAN Seriously, I really love this moment, not because I think Fabian has a secret soft side or something but because showing him being kind and encouraging to the Acolytes makes his manipulation and control of them more believable. If an abusive person is abusive and awful 24/7 all the time, nobody would get near them, but true abusers know how to balance the carrot with the stick. It’s ESPECIALLY common with cult leaders; they recruit with the carrot, and once you’re deep in and dependent on them, they can bring out the stick over and over, but the carrot still makes an appearance now and then so you have REASON to try and want to please them. Fabian showing that he values and appreciates the gifts and efforts of his Acolytes (or rather, acting like he does) is probably something they needed tremendously in their lives when he first approaches them, as likely no one else saw anything good about them being mutants, and that’s what enabled him to get them to stay around long enough for him to start showing his tyrannical dickbag side. Sure, he might be awful—but if they left him, they would be going to an even worse world, one that was ALWAYS awful to them, unlike Fabian, who, clearly, was not. I also notice that when he’s harsh on the Acolytes, it’s usually only on an individual to individual basis, when he’s alone with just one of them, so they probably don’t realize they’re ALL being abused, versus that they alone are being singled out like they probably think, so they’re less likely to think there’s a chance of uniting against him. But anyway, I’m getting off-topic, this is about MILAN, not Fabian. And Milan clearly wants to be useful SO BAD and he beats himself up over minor things/acts like he failed just because he didn’t 100% flawlessly succeed, and I just AW BABY especially since we see his teammates being jerks to him too. For instance, when the Acolytes were looking for Cable in the comics, Milan said that the base they were searching for him in was jamming his power, so he couldn’t use it to pick up any signs of Cable, and his teammate Javitz said “So you’re even more useless than usual.” SO MEAN, JAVITZ! WE CAN’T ALL BE TEN FEET TALL! So yeah, he gets ribbed, his powers aren’t good for fighting, maybe that’s why he stays buff, so he won’t be the scrawny nerd cliche (yes, I’m reaching to explain 90s-art anatomy, because this dork child is drawn all big and buff like every man in the 1990s) But I would just like to point out that he clearly has other talents! Milan, along with Joanna “Frenzy” Cargill and Carmella Unuscione, were the ones who found Simon “Neophyte” Hall, a young mutant who had holed himself up in a church, and they spent two days talking him out.  This is just a hunch, but given the aggressive, downright mean personalities of Frenzy and Carmella, I suspect that it was Milan who did a lot of the actual coaxing, with the ladies just there to protect him in case this young mutant had dangerous abilities. Likewise, this is also just a hunch, but given how upset Milan was at Neophyte “betraying” the Acolytes later, I also wonder if he didn’t bond with him afterward, maybe feel responsible for him. It would make sense, with Neophyte being younger and someone he had personally brought into the fold at such a vulnerable point in the boy’s life. I like to imagine that Neophyte looked up these three Acolytes, seeing Frenzy and Carmella as the terrifying badasses they are, and Milan more as a kindred spirit cool big brother. Which would also be nice for Milan, since, again, it seems like the more aggressively-powered Acolytes looked down on him. I love Milan guys I love him so much ;A;

[james-senpai]

On Gency

Okay, because some people have issues with Gency, I thought I’d compile a lil list of arguments that I find against Gency and why I think they’re bullshit. Disclaimer; The ship isn’t canon yet, this is refering to fan complaints, and everything below is my own interpretation of the current lore and character dynamics between the two. This is not a case FOR Gency, rather just debunking some of the toxic shit I’ve seen thrown at it. (long post incoming) TL;DR: if you have another opinion, you’re free to have it. Just try to stay on topic and don’t drag anything into it that doesn’t belong (’homophobia in OW’, current real world issues, that kinda shit) Oh, also I’m going to overlook the “It’s a het ship, so it’s boring” argument, because while I’ve seen it enough to tear y’all a new one over it, I’mma let it slide because that would be too easy to destroy (but I’ll get to that later) 1. Gency is abusive  Nowhere cited or stated. The largest asspull I’ve seen. Don’t have much to say about it since the people I’ve noticed who use this excuse can’t provide any other reason than this simple phrase. 2. Genji didn’t consent to what Mercy did to him This is like getting in a car wreck, going to a doctor, them saving your life, and then turning around and yelling at them for doing their job. Genji was injured, Overwatch picked him up, Mercy as chief medic of OW saved him, as per her job description. Genji probably didn’t want to die there either. He was a playboy at the time, so I imagine that that moment was one of clarity for him, realizing that he never truly lived for anything worthwhile and if being brought back as a part-cyborg would enable him to do so, then he’d do it. 3. OW used Genji to attack his family Again, nowhere stated or implied. It’s stated that Genji used his abilities to dismantle his family’s criminal empire, but never that Genji went on a vendetta against his family. Genji’s no idiot and was probably well aware of the things his family was doing to ensure that he lived the playboy lifestyle he enjoyed for most of his life, but never really cared until they turned against him. After being saved from death, logic would dictate that he’d have some resentment against his family for the criminal shit they were pulling and would’ve gone after them anyway even if working for OW wasn’t a part of the deal. 4. Genji hated his body, and therefore hated Mercy Another asspull and something people try to use to demonize Mercy. Genji’s hatred of himself stems from that: HIMSELF. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen anyone who’s disabled to the point of losing a part of themselves, but it really takes a toll on one’s mental state, self-worth, self-image and esteem. The stress of losing his ENTIRE body coupled with the betrayal of his family more than likely left him disillusioned with the world and his place in it. And as common for men, he found peace in something greater than himself. It’s why he’s so willing to write Mercy and keep touch with her through writing. After he has found peace with himself, he realizes how grateful he is to Mercy for saving him and giving him a chance to live for something greater than himself. Even without canon romantics, it’s genuinely touching to see one character grateful for what they once took for granted and were repulsed at. 5. Mercy had no say in saving Genji Mercy’s designation is the chief medical doctor of Overwatch. Last time I checked, a doctor’s JOB is to SAVE LIVES. Angela strikes me as the kind of person who does what she does, not out of obligation, but because she wants to save lives and make the world a better place. Even if you want to go with the excuse that OW MADE her save him, odds are she would’ve done it anyway because that’s who she is. 6. Mercy turned Genji into a killing machine Genji was ALREADY a trained ninja, so also bullshit. While he did indulge in a frivolous lifestyle, he was still able to contend with Hanzo and fight him off to the point where it wasn’t a one-sided slaughter. The fact that Genji lived AT ALL after their fight is proof of his abilities and skill. The cybernetic makeover they gave him had the primary purpose of saving his life, but because they are naturally more efficient than human limbs, they inadvertently BOOSTED his already stupidly skilled body even beyond what he could do before. TL;DR, the cybernetics didn’t suddenly make him a ‘killing machine’, Genji did. also he’s not a ‘machine’, as he still retains morality and free will. 7. Mercy is evil and a white savior The evil part has already been debunked by the creators, but the ‘White Savior’ bit is really confusing to me. She’s a doctor, so her job is to literally SAVE LIVES. LIKE I HATE TO BREAK FLOW HERE, READER, BUT WHERE THE HELL DID THIS EVEN COME FROM? THE BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES?? SHE’S SWEDISH! LIKE ????? Worst asspull and people just resorting to spitting insults at a character. 8. Genji is a self-insert OC so the writer can live out his dreams of fucking Mercy Yeah, because as if implying that an Asian writer wants to plow his character ISN’T racist. ok. Every character that has ever existed is an OC. And honestly, this is one of the most disgusting pulls I have seen to come out of some people’s mouths. Think before you speak, like damn... 9. The writer is homophobic and favors a straight ship over LGBT representation He’s also the guy responsible for making the comic that revealed OW’s flagship character as gay. I’m not surprised that you missed it though because, while everyone else was celebrating this fact, y’all were complaining about Genji and Mercy writing one another. While he might enjoy the ship, he has also gone on record saying that people should enjoy what they love, regardless of canon. 10. Mercy has a savior complex Side note, but I find it funny how people will say stuff like this and then turn around and ship Mercy with anyone else. Like that makes it better... Again, DOCTOR, SAVES LIVES, HELPS PEOPLE. She doesn’t do what she does out of obligation, otherwise she wouldn’t even be active after OW disbanded, but because she genuinely cares about the good of others, even to the point of disagreeing with OW from time to time and helping those afflicted by war.

11. The patient/doctor relationship is weird and gross Newsflash! EVERYONE who has actively served in OW has at some point been Mercy’s patient. So if you go by that logic, you can no longer ship her with ANYONE in the game who has ties to OW.

12. It’s a poorly-written ship Of course it’s going to be poorly written when it isn’t even CANON yet. Look, bottom line is all we have right now for them that’s concrete is canon story connections, sweet fluff in game and out of game, and voicelines that tie into those story ties. No canon comic dedicated to them, no animated short. At the end of the day, that’s what people are sending death threats over: canon fluff and connections. 13. It’s a boring ship This one bugs me and it’s probably where I’m going to close with. I’ve seen this the most, even without the ‘het’ label (because bi, pans, demi people TOTALLY don’t exist yeah?) but that it’s ‘boring’. This, at the end of the day, is an opinion, but a very unfair one.  ANY PAIRING CAN BE BORING. ANY RELATIONSHIP CAN BE BORING, EVEN GAY ONES. WHAT MAKES A PAIRING INTERESTING, A RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC, AND CHARACTERS INTERESTING ARE THE WAYS IN WHICH A PAIRING IS HANDLED, A RELATIONSHIP FLESHED OUT, AND CHARACTERS DEFINED, ALL OF WHICH OW’S CAST OF CHARACTERS ARE DESPITE NOT HAVING DEDICATED COMICS AND SHORTS TO EVERYONE. They have likes, dislikes, dynamics and themes, stories and agendas, motivations and convictions, and small bits and pieces in between. All of which makes them engaging and interesting characters that we as the audience WANT to learn more about. We WANT to see Lucio get a short because he’s a great and lovable character with a cause that he’s fighting for. We WANT a McCree short because of his past, his convictions in his time with Blackwatch, and want to see what he’s going to do next. And we LOVED the Reflections comic because, for the first time that I can remember, we saw Tracer get revealed as gay and it DIDN’T remove from her being a bad-ass, wise cracking adventurer who believes that the world could always use more heroes. What I’m getting at is if you think ship X is boring, then it tells me two things about you. Either 1.) You haven’t looked hard enough or 2.) You haven’t seen what someone who’s GOOD can do Because I have loved ships simply because of the heart and soul fans put into them. I love Symetrat because someone wrote a hella good fic that fleshed out their characters, explored the dynamics between their differences, and presented them, for lack of a better word, flawlessly. I’ve loved the sheer amount of sweetness in the art I’ve seen in the Pharmercy tag and loved the dynamic of McHanzo, two roamers looking for peace in their own way. I even loved Widowtracer, two opposing forces and ideologies, melding, clashing, and learning. And I love Gency because it’s different from the ‘guy saves girl trope’, it EMPOWERS Mercy, gives Genji a turning point in his life, and creates a dynamic friendship between the two characters that, even if it never reaches romantic canon, will always be one of my favorite character dynamics in gaming. I’ve seen it in and out of Overwatch and to several fandoms beyond. We as fans can do some pretty amazing shit when we’re not engaging in ship wars and tearing out the throats of our creators, things that can genuinely touch and impact other people’s lives in new and profound ways, add relateability  to already relatable characters, and flesh out stories and dynamics and relationships even after the official story is over, all while offering a new perspective on characters we already know and love. What I’m getting at, and will close on, is that the ship isn’t boring. You are