#I was expecting to move up on the depth chart

[bottom-lexa]

Game day today and yall!!! I’m a starter this week!!!!! I get to start on the punt team. And this is the first time since I started playing American football that I get to start!!!! I am so excited

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

ꨄHwang Hyunjin ideal typeꨄ

Quick disclaimer: His exact birth time is entirely unknown, so I calculating his natal chart with that in consideration. As such, this is not going to be as accurate as it could be, but as accurate as it can be with what I have to work with. There's a more in-depth reading of all things relationship based on his zodiac here if anyone is interested, but this will be mainly focused on his ideal type, and more in-depth on it than I was there. This is all for fun, and not confirmed. I can be entirely off, as astrology isn't...An exact art when it comes to these things, but this is just based on astrology. This is not meant to be malicious, and take this with a grain of salt. With all that out of the way, please enjoy!

Pisces Sun

-Based on his sun sign, a Libra, Sagittarius, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, or another Pisces would be most compatible with him.

Values

Trusting and loyal He'd naturally be attracted to extremely honest people, as well as attracted to trust in others, plus people who are very upfront and open from the jump. Not the type who will tell their entire life story to him immediately, but the type who will be upfront with their feelings and desires, and will essentially let him know what exactly he's getting himself into. Essentially, he needs someone he knows for certain he can trust, and who trusts him in return. Pisces is a very trusting and loyal sign by nature, and he'd expect that in return from whoever he finds himself in a relationship with. He'd want someone who is as loyal to him as he would be to them, someone who can give as much as they get from him, which would be a lot in terms of these two traits.

Caring, nurturing, and honest Pisces look for people who can be there for them, and help care for them. Someone who is in-tuned with emotions, and can help ease them through tough, self-deprecating, or self-pitying periods and listen to their troubles, as well as talk about the deeper things in life. They need someone warm compassionate and caring, as well as ideally someone with confidence and steadfastness that helps balance out their sensitivity and generally self-pitying nature. Pisces also love praise, albeit they're very perceptive, so they'll know if it's honest, real praise or not. They like honest praise that's not just surface-level like "I like your shirt!" but something deeper and genuinely from the heart. They also need someone with enough emotional maturity to help combat their general emotionalness.

Decisive, steadfast, and intelligent Hyunjin would probably find himself more drawn to someone decisive, who knows what they want, and who voices their opinions. He'd also be drawn to someone who could help guide him, and offer advice and counsel when it comes to decision-making, without being entirely overbearing or controlling of his decisions. Someone who could help him out, and who he could talk to when trying to make important decisions he can't seem to decide on. He'd also need someone who wouldn't be distinctly bothered by the difference between his private and public personas and would know that he still loves them and he's always going to be Hyunjin. Pisces naturally has a divide between outward and inward desires, which would naturally make it so that he wants someone who can put up with that. I also think he'd either want someone who is entirely steadfast and the same outwardly and inwardly, to balance out his fluctuations. Someone constant, who can be an anchor.

Outward traits

Pisces men are attracted to confidence, in all aspects. Especially confidence in who someone is as a person. Someone who's always calm and collected, and moves with confidence elegance, and poise. Someone with a very open and pleasant expression. The person doesn't have to always be calm and collected but pisces men like someone who appears that way. It gives them the sense that they can be open and honest, and that they're not walking on eggshells. He'd also feel like he can trust them more, because they'd return that open honesty, and be relaxed around him. He also wouldn't want someone who's very needlessly abrasive. They are attracted to stronger, more athletic and assertive individuals because of their generally passive nature.

Pisces men are attracted to people who have very bright smiles where their eyes light up. Smiles that are sexy and wholesome at the exact same time. Someone who takes care of themselves, but doesn't do too much. Someone who puts thought into their outward appearance, and is well-groomed but not necessarily extravagant. Someone who does their hair, and if they wear makeup it accentuates their features but isn't too much. Smelling nice is also a must with Pisces men. They like when someone dresses in clothing they clearly put thought into, and are practical for the environment but still convey style. While Pisces men wouldn't necessarily mind people who show off a lot of skin in how they dress and find it attractive, nothing is sexier to them than someone who can show off their body fully clothed or tastefully covered. They prefer people who dress more elegantly, clothing that's flowy and gives an airy feel. They also use their imaginations a lot, so if clothing makes someone seem magical in a way, it will draw a Pisces more to them. Though they also prefer people who wear more comfortable clothing, that's either tight or loose.

Pisces are attracted to femininity. I'm not going to sit here and say Hyunjin is straight because I don't entirely know, but. I do know that Pisces appreciates more feminine energy. Whether that be a feminine guy or a gal. The feminine feel really differs from pisces to pisces, but generally, that's a preference. Pisces men prefer soft, delicate features and are attracted to people with smooth jaws, large lips, or features of that general nature. They're also attracted to large thighs and wide hips. Though they're not primarily attracted to more feminine builds. Pisces also rules hands and feet, so obviously, Pisces men are attracted to that. They like well-kept hands. and feet, as well as either powerful hands, or clean and delicate ones. They're also attracted to good posture. They also like people who can do work with their hands. They're also really attracted to people with beautiful eyes, as eyes are a window to the soul.

Virgo Moon

-Based on his moon sign, he'd be more compatible with: Cancer Moon, Gemini Moon, Taurus Moon, and Scorpio Moon. Moon sign compatability is definitely one of the most important, as it dictates one's emotions. It's who you are in private, and your comfort zone.

Values

Incapability Virgo moons definitely like to have someone they could care for, and look out for. They like being able to take care of their partners and feel needed by doing little things for them. Virgo moons are generally very domestic people, and they like taking care of chores and such. They definitely feel more in their element of caring for others and would prefer it to be that way. They're drawn to people who seem weak or even almost incapable, and who can't care for themselves on their own, so they can feel needed, and help out caring for that person. They'd prefer someone who needs help with things like bills, or balancing books, or other more domestic tasks, because they feel needed if they can do those things better. Definitely Captain save a ho vibes from Virgo Moons.

Calmness, outgoingness, routine, constant Hyunjin would probably be drawn to someone with a calm, more laid-back, or relaxed demeanor to offset his being prone to getting very stressed and overwhelmed. He'd probably look for someone with a calm, balancing aura who can help calm him down when he freaks out about something. He'd look for someone who can help draw him out of his shell just enough, but still be able to follow a routine, and be a reliable constant. He'd want someone with whom he'd know what he's getting himself into and know he can rely on. He'd want someone reliable and would definitely find himself more drawn to the type who are also very routine people like himself.

Practical, social, good listener, reliable, thick-skinned Hyunjin would inherently be attracted to people who are definitely affectionate but can be more subdued in public settings. He'd be drawn to someone who could bring him out of his shell and someone who he could feel entirely comfortable with. He'd want someone who can talk, and who can listen, and just genuinely someone he can talk to and even have deeper conversations with. He's a very trustworthy and reliable person, and as such, he'd naturally expect his partner to be the same. He'd want someone who talks to him about their problems but can also listen to his own. He'd definitely want someone who can bring out the more hidden sides of him, whether it be his talkative nature or his sexuality. He'd also want someone who makes him feel good about himself and his appearance. Someone who makes him feel like he's actually worth something. He has a lot to give, and anyone he's with should have a lot to give as well. He'd need someone who's more thick-skinned and could handle his criticism. He'd also need someone who trusts him but doesn't trust him immediately or blindly. Ironically, an excess of trust would make him trust his partner less. He could do good with someone who's more whimsical or dreamy, as they'd broaden the horizons of his inherent practicality, but at the same time, he'd be more drawn to like-mindedly practical people, and might even find someone too dreamy to be annoying. Virgos strives for perfection in all things, including partners. As such, Hyunjin will expect absolute perfection in relationships and partners, and can even be very critical because of it, since he'd feel like he's guiding you towards perfection by critiquing things.

Emotionally intelligent, straightforward, music lover, and patient Hyunjin would definitely want someone who is emotionally intelligent and competent but isn't overly emotional, again circling back to his attraction to those on the calmer side. He would want someone who's very straightforward in all manners, including emotions, and who wouldn't overwhelm him and can genuinely relax around. But he'd also want someone who can give him space when he needs it and is fine with that. He'd want someone who's as into music as he is, and who he can talk about music with all the time, and can even sing songs with. They don't have to be good at singing, but they just have to be able to sing along with him and have fun and no judgment. He'd also want someone who understands emotions and music as much as he does, as that amount of perceptiveness is harder to come by. He'd definitely want someone who's more in-tuned with and in control of their emotions. He'll want to test the waters first and make sure he can trust someone with his heart. As such, he needs someone patient enough to not be bothered by that.

Outward traits

Virgo moons are attracted to people with nice hands, wrists, and forearms. They're also attracted to distinctive eyebrows, and very good, rich voices. Eyes are also a big thing with virgo moons, as once again, eyes are the window to the soul. To be more specific, they like people with large 'gemstone eyes' they can get lost in. They like people with nice hair that's thick, curly, or wavy and nice facial features. They like dimples, and nice thighs, as virgo moons are firm believers that thick thighs save lives, regardless of gender, shoulders, and butts. They like longer necks, and strong jawlines. They also like people with nice smiles, and nice noses. They like well-distribution of features and weight, whether you're plus-sized or not they prefer nice distribution. They're very symmetrical people, and like their partners to have symmetry in their features. They're also very cerebral. Say one wrong thing? Immediate ick. Being wrong and sticking to it? Immediate ick.

Pisces Mercury

-Based on his Pisces Mercury, he's more compatible with people who have Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces mercuries. Mercury determines how people communicate, and communication is very important.

Values

Objective, stable, intellectual, seductive He definitely would not be drawn to a more moody individual, instead being drawn to people who can be more objective when it comes down to it, and are more calm and stable. He would be drawn to someone who can put up with the changes from talkative to withdrawn and would be fine with them. He'd also be drawn more to someone he could be more open to, and someone who isn't overtly aggressive, as he'd desire more calm in a relationship and avoids arguing. He'd need someone who can definitely knock some sense into him and combat his overall gullibleness, and his desire to believe those around him. He'd also be drawn to someone who he could be comfortable enough with to be straightforward, and voice his thoughts, needs, and opinions. He'd want someone with similar interests, and who's a fellow intellectual who. he can speak to about deeper topics, or literature. He'd also be attracted more to people who are alluring and sensual, kind of like the seductive type. He'd be attracted to someone with innate charm and beauty, not necessarily someone who fits beauty standards, but who he finds to be drop-dead gorgeous.

Pisces Venus

-Due to his pisces venus, he's much more compatible with people with venuses in Cancer and Scorpio. When it comes to romance, Venus is definitely where it's at when it comes to things like this.

Values

Savior/Needs saving, submissive or dominant He's attracted to an underdog or a wayward person in need of his help. He can easily get into saving someone or being saved, because he's attracted to martyrdom, or states of suffering. He is also attracted to being saved. (Captain Save a hoe) He's actually into inequality, surprisingly. He'd definitely go better with someone who is entirely submissive, or entirely dominant, no in-betweens. Not only that, but he'd go better with someone who can go with the flow and feel the relationship out with him, instead of just planning everything out. He'd do best with someone who could put up with his occasional lies to spare their feelings. Someone who could bring the truth out of him, or someone who could read him well enough to figure out the truth on their own. He'd also do best with someone who can put up with his indecision, and even possibly help guide him in that aspect.

Good-hearted, pessimist/realist, ambivert He definitely would want someone who's good-hearted like him, and definitely someone who's more calm and easygoing, and could fit into a life of ease and leisure. However, he could also go for someone who, for all their easygoing calmness, is a massive pessimist or realist, to balance him out and essentially take off his rose-tinted glasses. However, that may also create conflict. Definitely hit or miss. He'd do well with someone who's possibly an ambivert, someone who can be introverted or extroverted depending on the situation and give the best of both worlds. Someone who can keep up with him in social situations and also bring him out of his shell with new people.

Observant, mentally strong, loving So...Let's address the elephant in the room, which is obsession, possessiveness, and manipulation which are RAMPANT in his natal chart. He'd undoubtedly need someone who can both give up control, but also put their foot down. Someone who can easily notice the beginnings of manipulation and snuff them out in a tactful way. Someone strong mentally, to not let them get to them. Essentially someone who can stop the cycle. He needs someone with strong feelings, but definitely not with the same intensity as his own, not in a way that they don't love as strongly, but rather that they're not intense and controlling and manipulating. He needs someone who can balance him out and is much more mellow in their love. Someone who can put up with possessiveness to an extent, but won't let it grow worse or become a habit, or even grow too extreme. Essentially he'd need someone who could put their foot down while still being mellow and being able to put up with it in small dosages and not often.

Aries Mars

Values

Non-tempermental, holds grudges, rational, patient With his Aries mars, he'd have a nasty temper and have a quick fuse, though he'd get over these things quickly. No lingering hatred, or anger, or grudges. He'd definitely need someone with a temper not as quick as his. Someone who can put up with these flare-ups and think rationally, and help him cool down. But because he's prone to letting things go, he'd definitely end up finding himself with a partner who keeps his grudges FOR him. Kind of like that meme that's like "Okay, I hate him too now, because you're too nice and you don't know how to hate anyone right.". He'd also need someone who's more rational and takes time to think logically. Someone who can balance out his impulsiveness, and maybe even teach him to be more patient and to think things through more. Though additionally, he could also go well with someone who's just as impulsive, though I see that quickly spiraling out of control.

Fun, keeps him on his toes He'd need someone exciting and can keep him interested. Someone who is straightforward and has many layers, so they're always bringing something new to the table. He'd also love a chase, so he'd want someone who plays hard to get, but not too hard to get to where he grows bored of them. He needs someone fun, who can always keep him interested in them. Because...Well, let's be real here. With all his placements, commitment will be a major issue with him, and cheating may or may not happen.

Passionate, intense, driven, money conscious, humor He'd need someone who can match his passion and intensity when it comes to love and can indulge his darker desires. He'd need someone who's not necessarily as sporty and outdoorsy as he is, but at least keep him company or try for the sake of him to indulge him sometimes. He'd definitely need someone who is as driven as he is and could help him with his success. He'd need someone as honest and trusting as he is and someone who can actually earn his honesty and trust even if he has a tendency to give it to the unworthy. He'd also need someone to help him with his money management, who's more frugal or at least conscious of their spending, and has a plan and nice savings for the both of them. Again, he needs a realist and/or pessimist by his side. He'd also need someone with humor as well, and I can see him with someone competitive in a more playful way, who wouldn't just let him win but would definitely not play as hard if he was having a bad day.

Outward traits

An Aries mars man will be more attracted to pretty faces. A person with a strong jawline, sharp eyes, high cheekbones, and shapely legs can strongly attract him. He will always notice strong features in a partner. Aries mars men expect their partners to stand out from the crowd with unique features, and a partner with over-makeup that conceals their natural beauty will never attract him. Hence, less makeup without hiding natural looks will be the way to go with him. Aries mars men are incredibly masculine. Though they love strong and athletic-body type partners, they are still particular about the feminine aspect like Pisces are. No matter how independent or assertive his partner is, he wants to see their more... "feminine" side. Features like long hair or broad lips impress Aries men. He will also lose his heart to a person's tender hands and beautiful contours. Clothing highlighting "feminine" features will be more attractive in the eyes of Aries men. They like and appreciate it! An Aries man’s first choice is a person who cares about their appearance. Clean and hygienic people can easily attract Aries men. Let a person may or may not apply makeup. But they should be clean and hygienic for an Aries guy. Glowing skin, decent hairstyle, and well-dressed people are their primary choices. Thus, hygienic beauty always attracts sturdy Aries men. It doesn’t matter how attractive a people is if he thinks they are unclean.

Overview

So, as we can see, Hyunjin will definitely have an...Extensive criteria. He will expect perfection, trust, loyalty, a caring, nurturing, and honest nature, someone who's decisive, steadfast, and intelligent, someone who's calm, outgoing, routine, and constant, someone who's practical, social, a good listener, reliable, and thick-skinned, someone who is emotionally intelligent, straightforward, a music lover, and patient, someone who is objective, stable, intellectual, and seductive, someone who is non-temperamental, holds grudges, rational, and patient, someone who is fun, keeps him on his toes, someone who is passionate, intense, driven, money conscious, and funny.

Basically...He expects absolute perfection from a partner, and his standards are highly unrealistic. He will craft an image of his partners in his head, due to the heavy Pisces influence mixed with his virgo moon, which is highly unattainable, and the second someone does one thing to contradict that idea he made up in his head, he'll get the ick and lose interest completely.

Due to his Aries mars, he loves the chase and is extremely intense and passionate, but he easily loses interest. He likes to chase but will lose interest if he has to chase too much. And then there's his possessive, obsessive, yandere-like, manipulative, if I can't have you no one can type vibes. He definitely has the POTENTIAL to be a toxic partner, but in my opinion, those things are definitely balanced out by a lot of his other influences. Are they present? Yes. But he can fix that himself or a partner can help guide him with that, and they won't be too prevalent. In the bedroom?... Well, that's a blog for another day.

Also, Hyunjin may or may not cheat. He's very loyal, that's for certain, but that's when he's committed and in love. He loves a lot, and he loves fiercely, but who's to say the love is truly there? I feel like if someone doesn't meet the standards he set in his mind, or his idea of perfection, or he just grows tired of them, he'll find those things in someone else's arms. Not because he's inherently a cheater, but all his non-committal, wishy-washy placements when mixed with his Aries Mars, and his tendency to lie to spare feelings, would drive him to cheat on his partner if he falls out of love in any way instead of breaking up, because he wouldn't want to hurt them. However, once he finds the one, I think he will have absolute loyalty. The only issue is...Finding that one. In conclusion...He needs someone who can put up with all that. And meet all those impossible standards.

[multidimensionalguidance]

SR Chart in-depth Analysis Part 1 🗝️

I thought it would be a good idea to write down an interpretation of how my 2024 SR chart might develop during this year, forget about it, and then revisit it during and/or at the end of the year! A fun experiment for me, even though I can honestly say that I've already been seeing the way it has been activating.

Note: please keep in mind I use sidereal and whole house system.

Libra ASC: this was the first thing that stood out to me when I saw the chart. I was already feeling an "upcoming glow up" vibe, and confirming it was hilarious. Even though Libra and Venusians in general are not just about appearance, they value aesthetics A LOT. I've already received comments on how my skin is looking amazing, and overall, just a lot of attention from others being thrown towards my appearance. So, aside from that more obvious aspect, I would say that this rising sign makes one feel more keen to developing and/or creating relationships of all kinds, meaning, that it is expected to become a tad more social during this year. Romantic relationships, creativity, arts, a need to be more diplomatic or neutral, and communication with others will become themes I will engage with a lot.

To give dept to this house, I pay attention to the where Libra sits in my natal chart and where it goes on the SR chart, also, where the lord of the SR ASC sits (strength, aspects, etc.) in the chart.

Example: Libra sits in my 12th house, and becomes the rising sign for SR chart. This tells me that a lot of my subconscious patterns will become more noticeable, particularly for relationships, and that those matters that are usually hidden about me are now put on the spotlight. Now, it's very interesting that the lord of my SR ASC moves to the 12th house, so its like there will still be things that are still kept hidden. Knowing me, I will be content with spending time alone and/or in foreign places, so I don't mind. Venus is debilitated, and I'm assuming that keeping to myself will partly occur from difficulties with possible insecurities, being overly critical or focused on self reflecting. Themes of feeling unworthy, and healing it. A great amount of attention being placed towards looks could definitely make one feel uncomfortable or unsure of why you're receiving it so much, and if it has to do with superficial reasons it can makes you feel unseen, as if others ignore your depth.

Scorpio stellium 2nd house: a focus on transformations occuring around money, resources, values, face area, food or products consumed, luxury, comfort, sensuality, and romance. I would expect a highlight and plenty of motivation to pursue all of these topics, since the Sun sits there conjunct Mars. Scorpios move quietly and under the radar, so there will be lots of secrecy on how I will exercise my power/drive, and also on communications around how I'm making money or managing my finances. Money from others moving directly into my pockets from foreign matters, contracts, writing/communication (9H ruled by Mercury), networking, social media, creative pursuits, romantic partner (11H ruled by Sun), somehow losses that turn into gains, expenditure, spirituality, and foreign residence (12H ruled by Mercury). In general, major important upgrades to the way I relate to Venusian matters.

Sagittarius 3rd house: even if houses are empty in a natal or SR chart they still hold meaningful information, but will of course be felt less in comparison to the houses that have planets. I see that my mindset, near environment, and communication will be a lot about/with foreigners, spiritual topics, traveling, and philosophy. The ruler sits in the 7th house, so it will also be mixed with my romantic life (with a foreigner), business, contracts, and other type of close relationships.

Capricorn 4th house: I don't usually pay much attention to Pluto unless its close to ASC or inner planet (Sun, Moon, Venus) but I will now for the sake of giving more context. There could be a major change of residence occuring or renovations of some sort. Home environment could be a bit chaotic or under frequent changes. Part of Fortune also sits there, so all of those transformations might actually be aligned with blessings or for a better outcome. The ruler sits in the 5th house with the moon, so it will definitely make me feel anxious and emotionally restricted or numbed. Luckily, I've had enough experience with Saturnian energy, so I know how to work through it until I find balance.

Aquarius 5th house: as I already mentioned above, with Moon and Saturn conjunct here it is likely that I will be feeling as if my emotions are harder to access which could cause anxiety, creative blockages, frustrations, or depression. Definitely will incorporate lots of yoga, nature, and emotional regulating activities during this year to keep that on check.

Pisces 6th house: with Rahu sitting there, I could see that my attention will gravitate around how I incorporate work, daily routine, health, and exercise with spirituality, creative endeavors, and abstract thinking. I had already experience gut health issues and almost all of those topics shortly after my birthday, so I can see how wherever Rahu is placed in a SR chart, there is a lot of movement for good or worse. With the ruler of 6H going into the 5H, I could see how work and health matters could exacerbate my emotional challenges.

Aries 7th house: Jupiter is siting here, and even though it is retrograde, the functionality of the planet doesn't suddenly stop occuring. It makes Jupiter have a more inward expression if anything. There will most likely be expansion or growth of romantic suitors (specifically male, since its in Aries), contracts, business, relationships of all type of relationships being upgraded somehow, and in general lots of luck with interpersonal skills. Those with whom I develop close relationships will become like teacher, or enjoy providing protection to me. The ruler sits in the 2nd house conjunct with the Sun, so others will either expand my resources or simply have an influence in it. Since its with the sun, it should be beneficial or empowering.

Alllllriiiight, I shall stop here for now and release the 2nd part at another moment!

[voxmortuus]

Hello!! Can I request Will Graham or Hannibal x fem!reader? Reader is a nurse and she helps him in an injury or something but he goes batshit crazy in love with her and stalks her and eventualy kidnapps her??

►PAIRING: Will Graham X F!Reader ►UNIVERSE: Hannibal ►WORDS: 1k ►SUMMARY/PROMPT: See Above. ►SONG INSPIRATION: Obsessed by Elle Lexxa ►TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mention of injury | Hospital | Blood | Will goes crazy | Stalking Will | Will Kidnaps Reader | I may be missing some, but you get a general idea, so please proceed with caution if there is anything in there that is overly triggering please let me know politely and I will make sure it is added to the list. ►NOTE: Sorry if this isn't what you expected, or had envisioned yourself, I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed my vision. ►IMAGE & DIVIDER CREDIT: @nyxvuxoa ►My Master Masterlist | Hannibal Masterlist

"Y/N, you have a patient in room 207. Head injury of some sort, superficial. Dr. Humphrey said to go ahead and clean him up, get his vitals and go ahead and send him home." the charge nurse told you. She gave you the chart and sent you off in that direction. Going through things all you wanted to do was go home.

Honestly, you were exhausted, and the idea of a hot shower, your favorite pair of sweatpants and tank top, followed by a bottle of your favorite brand of wine, some chicken wings, and binge-watching that show you've been meaning to watch sounded like a fantastic idea. That... that was the dream. But, right now, that was not reality.

"Hello, Mister..." you take a moment to look at the chart as you lick your lips. "Graham. A head injury I see here. Luckily it's nothing too serious. Nothing a little cleaning up and bandage can't fix. Then we'll send you on your way." You state looking over him for the first time. He was sweet looking, like a battered stray puppy. You tilt your head and let out a soft breath before you check out the wound on his forehead.

As Will is gazing up at you as you step close, he can't help but be in utter awe of you. How your eyes are shaped and the depth of their color of them, your nose seems to have that perfect shape, and your lips move when you speak. The way your voice sounded was like music to his ears and your complexion was absolutely lovely. It was the way your hair fell, and your scent, it was intoxicating in its own way. Though yes, you may have looked exhausted, but it was at that moment, he had this undying need to take care of you, to make you feel like you need not a car in the world.

Will watched you so intently, listening as you spoke, and when your hands came to his skin, he smiled softly. "Your hands are very pleasant." He stated softly.

"Excuse me?" You ask, the compliment took you off guard.

"Your hands, they aren't cold like most, they're very warm, it's a nice change." He stated.

"Oh... well... thank you, Mr. Graham. Now please, stop moving. I need to tend to this okay?" you give a soft chuckle, your eyes soften, and your aura relaxes.

"Oh, yes, sorry." He stated lowly and watches your face as you work.

Finishing up, you toss your gloves in the trash along with the items you used to clean up the wound on his head. Looking over him you offer a kind smile. Your smile, it was something that was really sticking with him. It was just you. Love at first sight, some would say, but to him, you had become an obsession. He needed to know everything was to know about you. He needed to know how you took your coffee, how you smelt after a shower, how soft your skin was after lotion, what you wore when you weren't at home, and how you cut your food, it was the simple things that drove him mad with needing to know.

He started to follow you. He began to learn your routine. Where you got gas for your car, what floor of your apartment you lived on, what time you went to bed, and when you went to work. He learned all of the little details. It was all so simple in his mind.

It wasn't like you knew, you were so involved in yourself and your work you didn't think to pay attention to your surroundings. And when he could have struck any time, he decided that his obsession was starting to consume him. He was dreaming of you, he was following you to the grocery store and would get behind you in line just to smell your hair.

You were that one thing he couldn't let escape his mind. He didn't want you to escape his mind. He damn well knew what he wanted. He had dreamt of it.

One night you were out of work, and instead of getting to your car, he approached you from behind, and with a rag he had used chloroform on he placed it over your mouth and nose, and after a few brief moments of inhalation you had passed out. Your body falls limp in his grasp, putting you in the back of his vehicle.

He didn't take you back to his place, instead, he took you to someplace he knew no one would come snooping. Not even Hannibal was going to come looking for you. He knew who you talked to, who you avoided, no one was coming. The thing is, he wasn't set out to murder you, he was obsessed with you, and he was going to do anything in his power to make you love him.

Once you were tied to the chair he sat across the room watching you, but it was taking a fair bit of time to wake you up. He watched, and watched, but nothing. Growing antsy he got up, and decorated the room around you, with flowers and nice things. Coffee- fresh even. Biting his lip he waited, and at that moment he heard you stir he moved to you.

"Wh...where am I?" you asked.

"Hi, I don't know if you remem-"

"Graham... head injury, why am I here? What happened?" you ask.

"I needed you. I have fresh coffee, flowers, and snacks..." he points out

"No, you needed me? Coffee, flowers, snacks... why am I tied up. Graham..." you start to panic

"No, no relax, I'm not going to hurt you I promise. You're safe, I promise, please, call me Will." He stated with a kind smile... damn a loving smile.

"Relax?! I'm tied up in some stranger's home! LET ME GO!" you demand.

"No, no, please, You don't have anyone else. I promise. You won't want to go home after this. Relax. Okay? I'll show you." He nodded.

This was the start of something utterly insane, he hoped that maybe you were going to love him, that you would stay, and maybe in time you did, or you managed to escape, or he let you go, the end is unforeseen, but it's not like you cannot dream of what the future for you holds.

[cosmiccannibalcamille]

Venus opposite Pluto Rx EXPLAINED

     As you move away from last Friday’s fertile and nurturing new moon, this week’s astrology cranks up the temps and the passion. What to expect? Oh, just a value shift, a potential power struggle, a few excitable conversations about the future, annnd a first quarter moon. The highlight of the week—as in, the transit everyone will be talking about—is Venus in Leo. The planet of love, money, and art struts into the fierce, attention-grabbing, hot and heady fire sign, beckoning YOU to be bolder in your self-expression and more demanding with your desires. But first, the actual astrology:

July 8 – Mercury in Leo sextile Jupiter in Gemini (9°43)

July 8 – Venus in Cancer sextile Uranus in Taurus (26°2)

July 9 – Mercury trine North Node in Aries (10°49)

July 10 – Lilith in Libra trines retrograde Pluto in Aquarius (at 1°11!)

July 11 – Sun trines Retrograde Saturn in Pisces (19°19)

July 11 – Venus trines retrograde Neptune in Pisces (29°55)

July 11 – Venus enters Leo 

July 12 – Venus opposes retrograde Pluto in Aquarius (1°8)

July 12 – Jupiter in Gemini sextiles North Node in Aries (10°36)

July 14 – First Quarter Moon in Libra (22°)

     You may have noticed I’ve included the degrees in which these transits take place. That’s because, rather stupidly, I haven’t done much of this before (mostly because as soon as I see too many numbers, my dyslexic brain blacks out). This is stupid because it doesn’t allow YOU to determine whether or not any, some, or all of this week’s astrology impacts planets in your chart. (Of course, if you’d rather me do this for you, check out my 2024 Birth Chart Reading to get in-depth insights into how this week (and all other weeks this year) are affecting YOU.) Anyway!

Get the FULL SCOOP on this week's astrology, including and ESPECIALLY the Venus-Pluto opposition, in this FREE weekly forecast--it's also a podcast episode!

[citieskyes]

Hi! I love your posts so much, they're the highlight of my day and I hope you're having a great day <3 I'm slowly getting into astrology and I wanna learn more about myself. I hope it's okay to ask questions like this, my placements are Leo stellium (Sun, Mercury, Jupiter in 5th) and Cancer stellium (Moon, Venus, Saturn in 4th) with a Pisces mars in 12th. Could you maybe give me some opinions on my placements if you can? I appreciate it in advance if you answer this :) Hope you're doing okay lovely!

Hi, thank u sm! That honestly means a lot to me 🥰 I can give a short explanation on what it all means below but if you want something more in depth message me for a birth chart reading x

Cancer moon: This is a favourable placement as the moon is ruled by Cancer. As the moon is ruled by cancer, it changes signs frequently so this means you’re more affected by this energy. This can make you moody. You may be very empathic and nurturing. Sometimes you might place the needs of others before you. You may have strong “gut feelings” that you rely on when making decisions.

Leo mercury: Leo mercuries tend to be loud and flamboyant in their gestures. This depends on the house mercury is in also. Leo mercuries love hyping people up and giving out compliments. They are genuinely very supportive and genuine. They can’t lie at all, they’re very honest and straightforward people, sometimes a little TOO honest. I find that they’re good with public speaking and debates. Since Leo is a fire sign, when you speak people are captivated by your passion. You tend to have loud sounding voice. Lot of Leo mercuries I know are dramatic, like they love to gasp over the smallest things.

Cancer Venus: this suggests you’re loyal but sometimes it can be borderline possessive. You’re in love with the idea of love. A lot of Cancer Venus’s are super maternal. In fact, they may want a lot of kids and a big family. You guys are very loving and devoted, but sometimes you get too infatuated with people and fall in love with the idea of them. You tend to have rose tinted glasses when it comes to love. You tend to be nostalgic and constantly yearn for the past, so it’s hard for you to move on from people. You never let go of people/situations because you try to see the good in everyone. This placement screams “ride or die”, you are very protective over the people you love. Often in friendships you might be described as the “mom friend”.

Saturn in the 4th: Saturn represents karma, restrictions, responsibilities. Saturn in this house indicates a strong feeling of obligation and devotion to your family and home life. You may have had a strict upbringing, and you may have had to grow up faster than kids your age. The impact of Saturn in the fourth house might offer obstacles and lessons linked to your family relationships and sense of belonging. You may have felt the need to prove yourself or live up to particular expectations from your family. This placement can sometimes make you the 'black sheep' of the family. The good thing is everyone gets their Saturn return at the age of 29, so whatever area of life you’re struggling in, it’ll ease up by then.

Jupiter in the 5th: Jupiter is the planet of luck and abundance. Jupiter in this house promotes self-expression and creativity. The placement is associated with a natural gift for the arts, such as music, literature, painting, or acting. You can have an optimistic attitude towards life, which attracts opportunities and great experiences. This placement may signify that you have a lighthearted approach to love. Jupiter in the fifth house is frequently associated with a love of children and a natural ability to connect with them. You may like spending time with children.

Pisces mars in the 12th: the 12h rules endings, closure, the subconscious, what’s hidden, karma, enemies, spirituality. With Mars in this house, you may be prone to nightmares or vivid dreams. You may feel the need to retreat and spend time in solitude in order to recharge. The 12h house relates to spirituality, so you may feel sensitive regarding your own emotions. This placement can indicate hidden enemies as Mars represents conflict and the twelfth house is the house of what is hidden. Pisces gives you a vivid imagination and a lot of empathy. This placement can make you passive so you won’t directly be aggressive in your approach. You may be very spiritual with this placement. You may use your gut feelings to make a decision.

Since you clarified you’re an Aries rising, all your houses are lined up exactly where they need to be since Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Example: your sun, mercury and Jupiter are all in the 5th house because Leo is ruled by the 5th. Your Cancer Venus/moon is in the 4th house because Cancer rules the 4th house. So you have a 5th house stellium, Leo stellium, and Cancer stellium. 5th house stellium is really cute, means you’re full of energy and adventure. Aries rising is also one of the most rarest rising signs so kudos to you!

[karikarasuno]

sonder ch. ii

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader x Levi Ackerman

Rating: Mature

Warnings/Tags: Angst, Flashbacks/Memories, Lots of Cooking/Baking, Dinners w/ Eruri, More Worldbuiling (bear with me), Alcohol Consumption (wine tasting time)

Word Count: 9.6k

song(s) for the chapter: love me more by mitsuki, party tricks by ayanna

a/n: as i write this, I’m slowly learning that it’s just an ode to my love of accessible public transportation and walkable cities, pls enjoy:)

chapter i | chapter ii | chapter iii

It was Sunday. The weather dipped into something comfortable and beautiful. It was hard to appreciate though when you woke up alone on the right side of the bed. You were curled around a pillow and the one beneath your head was damp. For a moment, you thought it was drool and you wiped at the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. Until the heel of your palm reached the darkened skin beneath your eye where you found a dried crust where you had been…crying. You were disoriented by the realization. Confused because you didn’t remember falling asleep with tears streaming down your face. Yet, they were there – dried and dampening your pillowcase. 

You were up and dressed within an hour. Your hair was air drying in the early afternoon sun as you stepped outside. There was a pier not too far from where you lived. Just a twenty minute train ride away. You slid earbuds in as you walked down the sidewalk. The same route you and Erwin took every morning for work. It was second nature by this point, sidestepping the hole in the asphalt and then accounting for the dip in the unleveled pavement as the train stop came into view. When you opened Spotify the song waiting for you there startled you. It was one of Onyankopon’s songs. One that he wrote and produced the second year the two of you were together. He sold it to a record company for some up and coming musician neither of you had heard of. That was until this song managed to chart in the top tens, skyrocketing him into the limelight. Which in turn got Onyankopon the career he’d been dreaming of since he was a child. 

The song began to play as you set foot on the train. Surprisingly, it was not as crowded as you would’ve expected on a weekend. But you supposed everyone was out at brunch. It was the season of mimosas after all. 

The song was two minutes and forty three seconds long. Not very long at all. It lacked some of the depth his writing has matured into since then, but the perfect song of the summer. A love song. Sweet in its melody and tender in its lyrics. He told you it was written for you. Just a few weeks after the two of you had met. 

Your stop was next, so you stood and hung on to the pole beside your seat. It seemed much busier on this side of the city. Couples, families, and groups of friends littered the streets. Traffic was much tamer but the amount of people had you knocking shoulders with the person next to you as soon as you stepped off. 

The big ferris wheel was directly in your line of vision, clear from the obstruction of skyscrapers with the sparkle of the lake right behind it. Accenting its glory with a twinkle and a shimmer. It was at least a mile away and the music in your ears was beginning to fade into white noise. You focused on taking one step at a time, placing one foot in front of the other. It was getting harder to push thoughts of him to the background. Harder to lock the feelings you so desperately wanted to forget away and move on. 

A block away from the wheel you ran into this tiny record shop. A record player displayed at the window caught your attention and those feelings you were trying to avoid slammed into your chest with a fresh memory of your first date. He’d taken you to a record shop much like the one before you. He asked you out the moment you met. It was your junior year of college and you stumbled your way into the music building late at night with a few friends. You’d been drinking, celebrating the end of finals week just before the winter break began. But you had wandered off, finding yourself in a studio in some far corner of the building– the giggles of your friends echoing off of the empty hallways. He was playing around with a chord progression on a keyboard. Going over it again and again while he muttered things you couldn’t understand under his breath. 

“It’s pretty,” you said, your voice breathy and cheeks warm from the few shots you had taken. His shoulders lifted in surprise and he whipped around to look at you. He was handsome, more than enough to have the next words you were about to say die on your tongue. You swallowed around the sweet taste of lychee soju, remembering how it tasted like juice but getting you drunker quicker than anything before. 

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” he smiled, eyes tracking from your eyes all the way down to your feet. It was a slow journey and if your mind and body weren’t so loosened by the alcohol, you would’ve squirmed under his attention.

“I know,” you responded, leaning against the doorframe. ��But finals are over and we were just having a little fun. What’re you doing here so late?”

“Working.” He crossed his arms over his chest and you followed the movement. If he asked you to go home with him at that moment, you’d say yes. Without the slightest of regrets. 

“On?” You asked, sauntering towards him, feigning coyness but you were afraid he could read your intentions all over your body. 

“On something that you’ll hopefully hear on the radio one day. If it’s any good.”

“Why don’t you play it for me?” You smiled, toying with the pendant on your necklace between your thumb and forefinger. Your friends’ laughter was getting closer, their footsteps leading them down the hall towards you and this stranger. 

“I’ll tell you what.” He leaned forward, an elbow on each knee as he looked up at you. “One date and I’ll think about it.”

You swapped numbers that night, your moment interrupted by your name bouncing around the building walls as your friends searched for you. The first date was right as the spring term started. You texted all throughout the break and the flutterings of a crush were strong in your bones by the time you saw him again. And when he picked you up on that cold January evening the last place you expected to be with him was a little, old record shop. You searched through the discount bin for albums that caught your eye, each picking one and listening to them at his place while draining a bottle of cheap wine and snacking on whatever frozen appetizers he had in his freezer. 

You should’ve kept walking past the store. Should’ve lived through that memory in that instance and kept walking. Instead, the jingle of the bell overheard rang shiny through your eardrums. The smell of old paper and wood flooded your senses and the memory vibrated even fiercer through your mind. 

“How much for the record player?” You pointed to the display as you asked the employee behind the cash register. He was organizing a stack of used vinyls, their slips weathered and faded through years of neglect. 

“$250,” he called over his shoulder, not sparing you much of a glance. It didn’t really matter to you anyway because you knew as soon as you walked through that door that you would buy it. Along with an album or two from one of those bargain bins near the back shelves of the store. 

You didn’t really see much of the pier after all. The ferris wheel shrunk in the distance behind you, your arms full from the wide shape of the box and a bag swinging from two fingers. Once you got home the hours ticked by slower than you wanted, you decided you needed something else. To keep your mind off things. There was noise coming from the other side of your living room wall, muffled and far away. Levi and Erwin. You still needed to thank them for yesterday. For all the help you needed, but felt like you didn’t deserve. 

Cookies. Espresso chocolate chip. That’s how you would thank them. You dug through your pantry and fridge, pulling out ingredients and utensils. Bowls and a baking tray. The cooling rack you bought a few weeks ago too. One of the records was already playing from where you set it up on the end table beside your sofa. It was an old smooth jazz album from an artist you had never heard of. But it was nice, doing the perfect job of filling space as you added brown sugar, granulated sugar, and butter into a metal bowl. You decided against using the handheld mixer tucked away in one of your cupboards. There was energy pulsing in your veins that you needed to get out, so you grabbed a whisk instead, whipping the mixture until it became light and fluffy. A sweat coated your skin by the time you added the egg and vanilla, beating it all together and setting it aside to start on the dry ingredients in a separate bowl. 

By the time the cookies popped into the oven, the sun was lower in the sky. It washed the living room in a natural golden glow, the image surreal as you stared off into your home. The one you’ve provided for yourself, by yourself. The boxes your furniture had come in were still strewn by your door. Trash day was tomorrow, the boxes to be left there for another day.

When the cookies were ready, you allowed them to cool for a few minutes. Antsy as your foot tapped the floor and the glass storage container sat on your countertop. They weren’t fully cooled when you put them in the container. Which wasn’t your smartest move, but you couldn’t wait anymore. Not when the album finished and your home was thrust into silence again. You were out the door and at their doorstep less than a minute later. A little winded from taking the steps two at a time and ringing their doorbell. You still had the apron on, flour dusting the front of it and wearing lavender crocs. 

Erwin opened the door in the most casual outfit you’ve ever seen him in. A white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, a mug of what smelled like herbal tea in his hand. 

“Nice outfit,” he smiled, lifting the mug in your direction in greeting. 

“Back at ya,” you smiled with a steady breath. You extended the container his way and he just stared without taking it from you. “It’s a thank you gift. For yesterday.”

“Cookies?”

“Espresso chocolate chip,” you answered, shaking them in his direction to urge him to grab it from you. But he didn’t. He turned around, lifting a finger your way and saying, “hold on.”

He disappeared in his house, the door left open and you were nosy enough to let your eyes wander. To look at their living room with the worn brown leather couch and a round wooden coffee table. There was a coat rack propped against the wall right in front of you and a shoe rack right beside it. Their home looked lived in and warm, yet impeccably clean. You envied them and their cute house together with herbs growing in the kitchen windowsill and mismatched rags hanging from the oven door. It took Erwin longer than you expected for him to return and you were starting to wonder if he expected you to follow him inside. Until Levi came from around a corner. His hair was wet and dripped on the towel hooked around his shoulders and you felt bad for interrupting. Clearly because Erwin had no grievances disturbing Levi when he obviously just hopped out the shower. 

“Hey,” he said in greeting, but it came out more like a question, confusion laced in his tone and morphing his expression. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come at a bad time,” you found yourself saying, immediately trying to backtrack on whatever weird friendship thing Erwin was trying to do. “I just wanted to thank you for all your help yesterday, so I baked some cookies. They’re espresso chocolate chip. I hope you like them. You won’t be wired or anything if you eat them too late, I didn’t put enough instant espresso in it for that. And I probably should’ve made sure you even liked sweets. They’re not too sweet though, I used semi-sweet chips.”

You rambled. Your cheeks were warming up under his critical stare and word vomit spewed from your mouth and you were…nervous. A strange feeling to experience because you were only trying to give your neighbors cookies. But the loneliness that crept in after they left your home yesterday was starting to drive you mad. And you were overcompensating. Fighting a battle to keep the loneliness from winning but you began to fear like you were the one fucking this up instead.

Levi took the container from your grip, popping open the lid and smelling them. Your palms broke out in a nervous sweat. And you were starting to grow irritated with yourself and your inability to keep it together. 

“They smell good,” he said, taking one out and biting into it. Since you were too impatient to allow them to fully cool, a string of melted chocolate fell over his lip. You watched his tongue lick it away and he chewed with purpose which only proved to spike your stress levels when you couldn’t decipher whether the look on his face was good or bad. 

Unlike Erwin, who you could read like a book – not because you knew him so well but because he practically wore his heart on his sleeve– Levi was this impenetrable wall. He didn’t hum in approval. His eyes didn’t light up in satisfaction. Nor did he grimace in distaste. His features remained neutral. And with only a nod he finished the cookie, closed the container lid and strolled back into his house. You were left there bewildered. No questions or words or even the upturn of his lips in one of those faux smiles he gave you yesterday. You were stumped. 

“Thanks for the cookies,” Erwin said when he joined you at the door again, looking rather pleased with himself. You were starting to think he found immeasurable amusement in watching his boyfriend interact with you. In some sick, twisted way. Like watching paper burn after you’ve thrown it in a fire pit. 

“You think this is funny, don’t you?” You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, but you weren’t delusional enough to think you looked intimidating. Not in your current state of dress. 

“What?” He said, smile innocent but eyes shining with something that proved otherwise. You flicked him off instead of replying because he wasn’t deserving of one. You stomped down the steps then, hearing his chuckle as you marched out of his gate and through yours. He watched your entire tantrum, and when you peeked over at him before you entered your home, he grinned.

“Good night,” he called out, only receiving a grumbled mimic of the words back at him from you. 

You brought the remaining cookies to work the next day. Moblit inhaled five of them before lunch claiming that his blood sugar was low, so you had to sneak one over to Marco and Jean before he could get his hands on anymore. 

“If you don’t like them, pretend you do,” you teased, handing one to each of them while leaning against the mobile wall of their cubicle. When Marco bit into his cookie, you watched as his eyes widened and he nodded, seeming like he enjoyed it. You smiled at him, always so fond of his earnest reactions to most things. Glad that he was your intern and not anyone else’s. 

“Never pegged you for an actor, Marco.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, finishing the cookie off in his next bite.

“Never thought you were much of a baker, but these are surprisingly good.” You shrugged, feigning modesty. The playful dig didn’t go over your head either. Your eyes slid over to Jean, who often didn’t make eye contact with you. A gesture you found both endearing and slightly confusing because you’ve seen him work with Moblit. He was passionate and had a surplus of ideas that he rambled off to Moblit in one sitting. But he was shy around almost everyone else. 

“Just keep up the good work and maybe I’ll bring you more treats.” You pushed off of the wall and walked back towards your office, passing Moblit’s on the way. He called out to you when you strolled past his open door, finding his grinning face behind two monitors mounted on the side of his desk. 

“Yes?” You stuck your head in the door, knowing that whatever he was going to say next was only going to be trouble.

“Did you give a cookie to Nile?” His grin turned into something shit-eating and you felt the breath leave your lungs in a heavy, traitorous sigh.

“No… should I have?” You pouted, primarily because Nile wasn’t your favorite person to interact with. He was always so grumbly and strung out. The editor was never in the most enjoyable mood whenever you spoke to him about work, so offering him a cookie was not very high on your to do list for the day.

“He’s harmless,” Moblit responded after seeing the look of disdain written plainly across your features. 

“He’s still a major grouch and every time I speak to him I’m sure it is going to result in his psychotic break. Does that man ever go on vacation? Or know what the word relax even means?”

Moblit chuckled, propping his chin in his hand. “He’s having a hard time with his wife. She’s been giving him some shit about not valuing family time enough.”

“How do you even know that?” Nile never talked to anyone about anything outside of their professional duties, so Moblit having this much information came as a shock to you. And he only offered a shrug in response, smiling because he enjoyed fucking with you and you were sure he was still hazing you as the newbie. 

“Big city with small town gossip,” he said, turning back to his monitor and opening an email. You scoffed and left back towards your office a few doors down. He knew you would ask him again later, probably thinking of a way to leverage the gossip so that you would do a favor for him. It was your own fault, honestly. For being so goddamn nosy. 

When you arrived home, an hour later than you usually do, Erwin was standing outside your gate with a glass dish in his hand. He was scrolling on his phone as you came up beside him, peeking around his bicep and startling him. 

“Don’t sneak up on me,” he said as you stepped around him and unlatched your gate.

“I wouldn’t have snuck up on you if you had been paying attention,” you nudged him lightly out of your way, leaving the gate open behind you since he always followed you inside. 

“Be nice or I won’t give you this chicken parm Levi made.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together when you unlocked your door. Just one surprise after another today. You set your purse on your couch as you walked further into your home, facing him with your hands on your hips as he strolled inside and placed the food on your island. 

“Is this because of the cookies?” You were curious, especially since you didn’t think Levi was the cook of the relationship. But you saw how hopeless Erwin was with even a coffeemaker after he tried to use your espresso machine one morning. Now you knew, if it wasn’t for Levi then Erwin would be surviving off of takeout and frozen dinners. 

“He doesn’t like owing people,” Erwin said, sitting at one of the stools you purchased a few weeks ago. 

“Those were supposed to be a thanks, not something that he needed to owe,” you said confused, kicking off your shoes and tossing them towards the shoe rack. “But I didn’t have any plans for dinner so tell him I appreciate it.”

You lifted the lid from the container, Italian herb seasoning hitting your nostrils first. You weren’t in much of a mood to cook for yourself recently, mainly surviving off of leftovers from lunch or Chinese food. So, this smelled heavenly, your stomach grumbled in response and you would be embarrassed by Erwin’s snicker if you weren’t starving all of a sudden. Instead of plating it, you just grabbed a fork from the drawer, forgetting a knife but using your fingers to tear off a chunk of the crispy meat. You forgot your table manners and shoved it in your mouth, tomato sauce staining your fingertips in the process. 

“You eat like such a lady,” Erwin said, making a scene of sitting up straight and linking his fingers on the countertop. You had the decency to finish chewing first before offering a response. “Fuck off, Smith.” He smirked, but you were too busy twirling the spaghetti on the fork to give him any more attention. 

“And I don’t trust you to actually tell Levi I said thank you, so give me his number,” you said after you swallowed. “I’ll just text him.”

It was a decent enough cover up for your true intentions. While you wanted to thank him for the food, you also quite liked Levi and felt like you had something to prove. The irritating people pleaser in you not doing well with the idea that Levi might not like you that much. Even though you had nothing to prove that irrational notion. Either way, you held out your phone to Erwin, already unlocked to the screen for him to put Levi’s number in. 

“I don’t know if I like that idea,” he said, slowly inputting the digits. “You’ll team up against me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” you said around another forkful of food, nearly salivating at the sauce and wondering if Levi made it from scratch. It tasted nothing like anything you’ve ever had from a jar. 

“I’ll be however I wanna be,” he poked his tongue out at you, saving Levi’s number and sliding your phone back in your direction. He didn’t stay for much longer after that, his seat on your stool vacant and you were starting to despise being alone with yourself. Even with the dinner still warm in its container and Levi’s contact staring up at you from your phone screen, you still noticed all of the missing weight. Moreso, now than ever. You hated eating alone. Dread circled around in your stomach which soured the food, so you closed it up and put it away. There was still time to eat it anyway, and you would end up shoveling it down before bed half-starved because you could never go to bed hungry. 

You texted Levi before bed. Erasing around five messages before you finally decided on something.

The dinner was really good. But now I owe you a meal. 

Funnily enough, the next day you spent half of your shift scrolling through recipes on your desktop, flitting between steak or chicken or fish. And then you started over and looked through vegetable dishes. You were overthinking it. But you also didn’t want to make them something they wouldn’t like. Something Levi wouldn’t like. 

The grocery store was packed. Way too many people for a random Tuesday evening. Sure there must’ve been a dinner rush, but the lines were atrocious and you only had a handful of ingredients. You decided on a stir fry. Chicken again because it was safe. Something you knew they would like given what he prepared for dinner last night. When you finally got home half an hour later, you cooked in a flurry. You threw on your apron, your work clothes still beneath it as you chopped up peppers and broccoli florets. 

The recipe was simple. And you finished it so quickly, you were disappointed at the loss of the distraction. Content with what you made, and you were swiftly finding catharsis in the ritual of cooking. The same vinyl as before drifted through your home while you plated their meal. It was delicious. A simmer of cockiness heated your cheeks because you were proud of yourself. And if neither of them liked it, fuck them. 

But you actually really hoped they fucking liked it. If not, you would probably hide away from them forever. Out of mostly shame. 

It was too late to doubt yourself now, though. With your apron still on, you walked through your door with two containers, one with the stir fry and the other with jasmine rice. Your hands were a little shaky and you were slightly annoyed by it. There should be no expectations here. It’s just friendly meals shared between neighbors. You spend almost every morning with Erwin. How could this be any different?

You were at their doorstep in seconds, shuffling your feet before you raised your hand to knock on their door. But as your knuckles were about to touch it, there was a voice behind you that caused you to flinch so violently you almost dropped the food. 

Levi was standing behind you, fingers taking out the bud in his ear as his hair stuck to his forehead and sweat dripped down his neck. He must have just gotten back from a run. His breath rose his chest heavily and there was a ghost of a smile on his face, presumably at your reaction to his presence. He didn’t say anything after saying your name, just waited for you to respond. Which never failed to twist your nerves in a weird way. 

“I said I owed you a meal,” you started, holding up the containers to emphasize your point. He looked between you, the food, and his door, staring up at you from the last step. You knew he was thinking about his words. He seemed like the type to choose his words carefully, especially since he had so few of them. 

“Are you going to eat with us?” He asked, the question thoroughly throwing you off. The very last thing you expected for him to say. 

“Uh, I didn’t pack enough for three,” you carefully responded, not even sure if you wanted to say yes or no. The idea of sitting down with the both of them, eating and chatting and not being alone. It was an overwhelming thought. It was one that you weren’t sure if you found comfort in. It felt intimate in a way that you couldn’t quite describe. 

“I’m sure we can make do,” Levi said, climbing the rest of the steps until he was directly beside you, hand on his door hand with his keys jingling in his other hand. “I still have to shower before we eat anyway.”

“I’ll go grab the rest of the food then,” you handed over the food as he stepped inside, “and I’ll be right over?” 

“Yes.” He answered your question even though you hadn’t meant to ask it. Always fumbling in some way in front of him. And you blamed it on his intimidating aura. The fact that he carried this air of weeding out the bullshit from anyone. And unfortunately, you didn’t want your baggage to come off as bullshit. Even if it felt that way sometimes. 

When you retrieved the rest of the food, you decided to change into something comfortable and maybe dressing down wouldn’t place too much weight on you to impress them. You debated outside of their house whether you should ring the doorbell or just let yourself in. But when you heard shuffling from the other side of the door you just decided to open it. They knew you were coming back. It was unlocked for a reason. But you still announced you were inside loudly and clearly. As to not walk in on something unexpected. 

“Well look who it is,” you heard Erwin say from the direction of the kitchen. He was pulling out dishes from the cabinets and laying them out on their dining table. There were cute little placemats and coasters organized on it, all black in color. “Happy to see you’ll be joining us this evening.”

“Thanks for having me,” you said with fake politeness, sending him a dumb smile as you placed additional food on the stovetop with the other containers. You found the serving utensils in a holder beside the oven, grabbing a large metal spoon and one with a forked end and walking it over to where Erwin was placing the silverware on some napkins. 

“What would you like to drink? We have water, wine, and three bottles of Corona,” he listed off, opening the fridge when he was done to make sure he detailed all of the options accurately. “Actually, we have four bottles of Corona and a lime.” 

He smiled as he announced it, proud of himself for whatever weird reason. “What an interesting assortment,” you laughed and sat at the plate setting that had you facing the hallway to the bedrooms and the kitchen. “What kind of wine do you have in there?”

He lifted the bottle and read over the label, using his thumb to wipe away some of the condensation that started to build there. “Pinot grigio.”

“I’ll have a glass of that, please.” 

“You got it,” he said, finding the wine opener and pulling out the cork with a muffled pop. He fished out two wine glasses from the cabinet and set them down by your plate setting and another before going back to the fridge to get a Corona and the lime he was so pleased to find a few minutes earlier. While he cut out a little slice, Levi came walking down the hall, hair slightly damp from his fresh shower, but smelling like something spiced and warm. 

You brought your knees to your chest, curling your arms around your shins as you observed them walking around each other. He grabbed the wine bottle from beside Erwin’s arm and walked it over to the dining table. He gestured for your glass, tilting it towards him as he poured out the white wine until it was a quarter of the way filled. 

“That’s good, thank you.” You grabbed the stem from his fingers, and tried some. It was good, light and crispy – not too dry. When Levi came back, he brought over the food that was on the stove, opening the lids and you were surprised by how hot everything still was. By the time Erwin was seated across from you, Levi had already served his own plate and waited for everyone to get started on theirs. 

“You’re not gonna serve me?” Erwin asked, hands splaying open in the air in mock shock. 

“What do I look like?” Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes and picking up his fork to stab some broccoli onto it. You chuckled, reaching for the spoon to serve yourself some rice and Erwin did the same with the stir fry. 

Much of the dinner followed in a similar fashion. Erwin instigating Levi, while you giggled around your glass as it seemed to fill back up every time it was drained. Hours blended together as your dinner was long cleaned off of all of your plates. Levi’s face flushed into a beautiful shade of red as he finished the last drops of his third glass. Between the two of you, the bottle had been polished. Erwin was nursing the last beer in the fridge with the lime between his teeth as he stifled a laugh when you said, “Levi, you look so much friendlier when you’re blushing like this.”

“I’m not blushing,” he said with his signature scowl, but without his usual bite since the three of you were well and lovely loose from the alcohol. And when you devolved into a fit of laughter when he blushed deeper, the lime that was just in Erwin’s mouth was abruptly thrown at your head. It bounced off of your eyebrow and thudded to the floor as you gasped and swatted at it a moment too late.

“Ew,” you said, breathlessly, the laughter in your voice still apparent as you glared at him. And you were surprised to find that instead of a ghost of a smile, there was a real one. It was small, but there either way. And it felt personal. Like you were finally finding your footing in this new place. Surrounded by people you could start to call your friends. Suddenly, you wanted to cry. But you shook your head to avoid it and bent over to grab the pulpy lime slice from the ground. “That was very gross of you,” you added, and rolled it in a rumpled napkin. 

Levi shrugged, “I don’t blush.”

It was almost eleven by the time you stumbled into your home. You were warm from the alcohol and sleepy from all the food. You decided you would just shower in the morning, trudging into your bedroom and falling into bed without any thought or preparation for tomorrow. Sleep found you quickly, and the alarm the next morning startled you from the deepest slumber you’ve had in weeks. 

Despite the small headache throbbing at your temple, you had uncharacteristic energy. Your mood was elevated and you felt like today would be your best day in a while. It was also the first time that you woke up and the first thing on your mind wasn’t Onyankopon. You often looked for him in your sleep, searching his side of the bed for his warm, solid body. And when you could never find it, the ache in your heart deepened and you always awoke thinking of him. 

But today was different. You met Erwin outside of your gate like every other morning, with him leaning against it like he had been there waiting for you for ages. 

“The Brewhouse for breakfast?” He asked, but he already knew your answer. It was like tradition at this point. A morning ritual the two of you shared that you had no intention of giving up. You tended to be a creature of habit, and this was one you felt like you’d never stop indulging in. 

“Why is there more pep in your step today?” Moblit said as you walked past his office to get to yours. He was standing by his little sofa searching through his briefcase for something, his sleeves already rolled up his forearms. 

“Firstly, who the hell says that anymore? Secondly, why are you here so early? And thirdly, there’s no more pep in my step today than there was yesterday.” 

“Firstly,” he started, ticking down the questions with his fingers, “I do. Secondly, I have that big meeting today with The Boss and I need to finish prepping for it. Jean is sitting in with me and I had to allocate time to talk him down any nervous ledges he finds himself on. And thirdly, there is definitely more pep in your step, and I will figure out why.”

“That’s way less important than you meeting with freaking Zachary. How am I just finding out about this?” 

“You’ve been busy trying to recruit that author. The girl writing the mystery novel?”

“Annie,” you supplied, nodding for him to continue. 

“Yeah so, we haven’t had a whole lot of catch up time. And it was a last minute thing, anyway. Zachary just figured out what Booktok was and is trying to incorporate that into our marketing. Jean has some really great ideas, but he’s been a wreck since I said he could be the one to present them,” he sighed with a laugh. 

You felt for Moblit. Zachary had a tendency to be old fashioned— laidback but slow on the uptake of new and emerging trends. There was one staff meeting where you had to walk him and Pixis through e-readers and how those took a special publishing license for 45 minutes. And you hadn’t even touched the topic of Kindle Unlimited, for your own sake and everyone sitting through that zoom call. 

“Well, explaining TikTok to him is going to be so fun. But as far as Jean goes, I wouldn’t worry about it. He psychs himself out and then it’s like this weird switch in his brain goes off when he’s talking about something important to him. I swear it’s like a different person.” 

“You noticed that too?” Moblit smiled, arms crossing over his chest. 

“Yes, it’s like one minute he won’t make eye contact with me and then the next he’s talking to me about why the Percy Jackson movie adaptations failed so miserably,” you said, remembering the moment he overheard you make some off handed comment to Marco about the spinoff series and you spent an hour at their cubicle discussing books versus movies. 

“Anyway, good luck today and let me know how it goes,” you pointed at him sternly, so he understood you were being serious about it. “We can do a late lunch together to talk about it.”

“Fine, but only because you still gotta tell me what’s got you looking like you sprinkled coke in your coffee.”

“Literally what the fuck is wrong with you, Moblit?” You whisper yelled at him, which only made him laugh in response. He shrugged noncommittally, waving you off as he continued searching through his work bag for whatever he was looking for. 

The meeting went well. Jean left the office happier than you had ever seen him and when he made eye contact with you as he entered his cubicle where you were discussing with Marco what you should do about Annie, he actually smiled at you. Bright and charming. His ears were a touch pink but he appeared as though he just had the best day of his life. 

“I’m gathering he liked your ideas,” Marco said with genuine enthusiasm in his voice. His smile began to mirror Jean’s as he sat up straighter in his chair when Jean approached. 

“He loved them,” he said with a wistful exhale. “I mean after we explained how the app worked and then I had him scroll through my fyp, which was honestly not the best idea given how niche the algorithm can be. But after that small hiccup, he gave me and Moblit the green light to move forward and honestly I can’t believe I got through it without throwing up.”

Marco reached out then and grabbed Jean’s forearm, it seemed subconscious. The gesture sweetened when he said, “so glad you didn’t throw up because that would’ve been embarrassing. But I’m happy for you. I told you you had nothing to worry about. You’re amazing.”

Jean blushed. His demeanor quickly became bashful and definitely not in the way it usually does whenever you attempt small talk with him. “Really?” He asked, smiling so hard his cheeks probably began to hurt.

“Yes,” Marco responded with finality. And you started to feel like you were intruding on something with how their eyes remained locked onto each other’s. 

“I’m happy for you, Jean,” you interrupted their moment, feeling only a little bad when Jean flinched at the sound of your voice. He had totally forgotten you were there. Which only added questions to your list to ask Marco later. 

“Th-thanks,” he rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. 

“Of course.” You excused yourself from the boys, leaving behind hushed voices that spoke over each other. The brief thought of telling Moblit what you witnessed over lunch flitted through your mind until you decided you wanted to keep this to yourself. After all, Moblit could be such a gossip.

Pesto. Made from scratch.

Enchiladas.

Chicken Adobo.

Parmesan crusted salmon stuffed with crab.

And an ill attempt at carbonara (Erwin scrambled the egg). To his defense, he was not a cook and it was two o’clock in the morning. 

With them time seemed to have no meaning. Hours were pointless. Minutes were nonexistent. And time never felt more like a construct than it did whenever you were spending an evening in their home. Or them in yours. 

As it progressed, dinners started to come with a set of rules. Rule one, always eat together. This was unspoken, but a general truth that was accepted after that first dinner in their house. Rule two, dinner must always contain one carb. Or else, Erwin would complain that he wasn’t full enough. And rule three, Levi always does the dishes. He didn’t trust anyone else to do them properly and it wasn’t like you’d complain. You usually threw them in the dishwasher, but Levi insisted they needed to be scrubbed down first. 

“So,” you started, kneading some dough on your floured countertop. Today you were attempting to make bread from scratch. Focaccia was every other video you saw recently and so you woke up with the final decision that today was finally the day. “What made you decide to go into physical therapy?”

“We haven’t talked about this already?”

“Nope.” You rolled out your wrists when your joints began to ache. They popped from the motion and you cringed a bit at the sound. “I was thinking about it this morning after Erwin and I talked about how he's teaching Urban history in the fall. Which he’s really psyched about, but then it turned into this lengthy discussion. You know how it gets,” you waved off the rest of your sentence when you noticed you were getting off topic. 

“Anyway, it made me think of you and how…” You considered your next words carefully, not wanting to accidentally offend him or come off judgmental. He wasn’t one to usually take things the wrong way, but you still didn’t want to come across rude. 

“And how what?” He was sitting across from you on the barstool at the island. He was working out something on his laptop, a legal pad beside him as he scribbled down numbers in a neat line. He was focused on the screen in front of him, and it often amazed you how effortless he made multi-tasking look. And now that you really thought about it, it was rare to see him do less than two things at once. 

“Well, if I were to guess what career you had I probably wouldn’t have chosen something so people-y?” 

“People-y?”

“Yeah. I would’ve assumed you’d do something with less human interaction. Especially not something that included so much touching,” you explained, going back to wrestling with the dough on the counter and adding a touch more flour so it stopped sticking to your palms.

“I originally got my Bachelor’s in accounting,” he said, like it would make so much more sense for him. It kind of did. If you were to type cast him, that would be it. “It paid well and I’ve always been good with numbers. So after I graduated, I got a steady job at this company and on the side I helped my mom start up her yoga studio and was persuaded into co-owning the bar with Hange.”

“I didn’t know your mom owned a yoga studio,” you said, partially surprised. Levi didn’t talk about his family much. You knew from Erwin that Levi was an only child and grew up with just his mom. With the occasional visit from his uncle sporadically through his childhood. But you didn’t have many details regarding it, so you always felt a little special when Levi brought it up. Like he was comfortable enough to open up to you. 

“Yeah, it’s up by the boardwalk where the big ferris wheel is off the lake. She’s had it for about seven years now, actually.” You could tell he was calculating the years in his head, the number seeming to surprise him. “Regardless, I worked at the company for like two years and then Erwin got into his motorcycle accident.” 

The memory made him cringe. 

“What?” You stopped kneading and wiped your hands on your apron before resting them on the counter. Your attention was undivided now. 

“I’m not surprised he didn’t tell you. He hates talking about it.” Levi put his pen down and leaned forward to place his elbows on the counter. The two of you leaning towards each other as the conversation took a serious undertone. 

“He used to have this motorcycle that he rode everywhere. Infatuated, really. But one night he was speeding home, took a sharp turn and he didn’t see the SUV coming until it was too late.”

“Oh my god,” you frowned, not able to imagine the scene without nausea rolling in your stomach. 

“He ended up breaking his arm and dislocating his shoulder. It fucked him up for months because he couldn’t wrap his head around what happened,” Levi continued, grabbing the pen again to click and unclick it. “Anyway, I fell into this hole trying to figure out ways to help him regain his mobility after it healed. I found all these stretches and exercises and I decided to go back to school for it. He calls himself my test dummy because every time I came back from class I’d try out something new. But they were working.”

“Shit, Levi,” you breathed, your chest tight with emotion. “What a way to stumble into a fucking career.”

“Right,” he released an amused chuckle through his nose. “The injury still fucks with him because he doesn’t stretch it every day like he’s supposed to.”

“And I’m sure you don’t let him forget it.”

“Why would I?” He teased, the tension breaking and you chuckled before going back to fighting with the dough. “As far as peopling goes, I like it because I can choose my own schedule for the most part. And I mostly work with old people. The occasional teenager now and again.”

“I love that,” you smiled at him. 

“What?” He went back to whatever number crunching he was doing before.

“That you love what you do. That it makes you happy.” He responded with a look of disgust at your sentimentality, which you could now translate as his way of saying thank you. 

Your phone pinged with a notification at the same time as his computer did. When you looked over you saw that it was a text from Erwin to the group chat. The one you usually used to swap recipes or share a random picture of something you thought was funny or interesting. 

My dad is hosting a work event at this winery upstate next weekend. You in?

Suffice to say, the answer was yes when you found yourself in the backseat of their Nissan Rogue fiddling with the bluetooth to connect it to your phone. 

“Do you usually drive around in silence?” You scrolled through your playlists trying to find the one that best fit the mood. Or at least something neither of them would complain about.

“Yes,” was said at the same time as Erwin said “no.”

“I usually have a podcast playing or the radio,” Erwin said with a shrug. 

“Not to be that person, but we’re going to change that.” You decided on something, hitting play and reclining into the middle seat. “I’ll make you both a playlist some time this week because you need more variety than your usual podcast and today’s top hits.”

The winery was nothing less than elegant and grand. It appeared to be a repurposed mansion that had to have been at least a century old. The greenery surrounding the building was lush and thriving, just acres of neat rows of small trees and well maintained shrubs. You were glad to have chosen the chiffon dress that stopped mid-thigh because it was light enough to not feel like the fabric was sticking to your skin in the heat. You were also happy to have gone with the wedges instead of the heels because the soil beneath the grass still seemed to be damp from a recent storm, so you weren’t sinking uncomfortably into the ground. 

The sounds of your footsteps echoed around the large foyer. A wide staircase wound upwards to a second floor, but before any of you could question where you were going you were directed towards the back by one of the employees. Stepping out into the sun again had your eyes adjusting briefly to the brightness, but once they focused the expanse of the property was breathtaking. The front, in all its beauty, had absolutely nothing on the rest of it. You had the urge to sneak into the vines and wander there for hours. Lost in the maze until the sun set and you were forced to find your way back. 

“Erwin!” You followed the voice with your head to find a man that resembled Erwin so closely there was no mistaking their relation. Erwin was a few inches taller though, and where his father’s hair was unmistakably greying, Erwin’s was still startlingly blonde. You reached out to hold on to Levi’s elbow as you made your way down the stone steps. Erwin had already bound down them eagerly, using his wide strides to make his way across the landscape like the distance was nothing but a few feet. They hugged tightly, and the scene made you smile fondly, especially when his father left a few heavy pats on Erwin’s shoulder. 

Levi wasn’t much of a hugger, so when the pair parted he just held out a hand. When Erwin’s father grinned and enclosed Levi’s smaller hand between the two of his. 

“I want you to meet someone,” Erwin interjected their greeting, coming around to press his hand between your shoulder blades and pushing you forward. He said your name enthusiastically, his dad smiling down at you and it shone in his eyes. His crow’s feet wrinkled at the corner of them and you registered how handsome he was. The image of an aging Erwin flashed through your mind and you knew that time would treat him kindly.

“Hi, Mr. Smith,” you held out your hand in greeting, mimicking Levi from earlier. “It’s a pleasure.”

But instead of extending his hand towards you, he opened his arms. And before you could think of refusing, you stepped into them and he gave you a brief squeeze before releasing you again.

“Erwin’s told me a lot about you. But I want to hear it all from the source. Why don’t we start the tour?”

He placed a small flute in between your fingertips, handing one off to Levi and Erwin as well as you huddled around the tour guide who began describing the components of the wine as you sipped them. 

Erwin’s father was just as inquisitive as Erwin, asking all the right questions without seeming intrusive or prying. And as the glasses kept changing from white to red to white again, your lips loosened and you spoke as if you were old friends instead of recently introduced acquaintances. 

“Do you have a special someone in your life?” For some reason the question caught you off guard and you choked a bit around the sip you just took. Your cheeks were incredibly warm and you were glad to have been in the coldest part of the building– the basement– where they kept the frozen grapes for their sweetest wine. 

“Uh no,” you said after you swallowed, your thumb immediately rubbing at your ring finger and swallowing again when you found it to be bare. Like you knew it would be. “Recently single, actually.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding genuinely displeased. “What happened?”

“It’s complicated.” You finished the last of your drink, the sweetness was welcome after all the dry wines, but if you weren’t already feeling it, the flavor would’ve been too much. Enough to make your lips pucker. Luckily, you were saved from further explanation when someone called him in another direction and you released a breath of relief when you found yourself alone for a moment to bury down memories you did not want to sour your mood.

“He’s always enjoyed a good interrogation,” Levi said as he slipped into the empty space beside you. You were surprised to also find him alone until you saw Erwin across the room talking to an older couple who looked rather wealthy. 

“He seems well-intentioned, though.” You put your glass down on the counter as the two of you lingered behind the crowd that was being led out of the basement and into the main area. 

“He is,” Levi sighed, “he’s just so…”

“Chatty,” you finished for him, smiling when he nodded slowly in agreement. “And you’re not the biggest fan of chatty.”

“You could say that,” he chuckled, pausing in the open area as the crowd came to a halt inside of what looked like a gift shop. “Sometimes things like this are a lot, especially when Erwin is pulled into a hundred different directions.”

“Do you ever just leave for a little? To recharge or something? It doesn’t seem like he would notice if you just snuck off.” You picked up a bottle on display, reading the label and trying to remember which one in the long line of wines you tried this one was. When you couldn’t remember, all of them seemed to taste the same after glass four or five, you put it back.

“He’ll notice,” he muttered, following your movements as you kept lifting up bottles and reading them before inevitably placing them back in their spots. “One time, before we started dating officially, we were at this stupid frat party that Hange dragged me to and at some point it just got too loud and rowdy and the worst fucking place in the world. And I was with Erwin for a while until he got pulled into a game of beer pong, which he sucks at.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Erwin was an athletic guy, so you couldn’t imagine him being bad at something that only required hand eye coordination and some aim. 

“He throws the balls too hard, and misses almost every time.”

“Okay, that I can see,” you conceded, stopping by the store’s exit and waiting for Erwin to finish charming his way around the room.

“So, I ended up sneaking off to the back porch where the lights were out so no one ever went back there after watching him lose for the second time.” You laughed, allowing him to continue. “I didn’t realize I was gone for as long as I was and when Erwin eventually found me he was shitfaced and pissed. I’d never seen him that mad before and I thought it was because he was just drunk off his ass until he admitted how worried he was. That’s when he confessed his feelings and yeah.”

“And then you fell in love,” you teased in a sing-songy voice, nudging him playfully with your shoulder and winking at him. 

“Yeah and then we fell in love,” he rolled his eyes, ears still pink from all the wine. It was endearing. 

You were handed another glass by Erwin’s dad before you left. Not able to say no when he handed it to you so insistently to try. It was good, but you were unsteady on your feet and your tastebuds were not up for the task of discussing the nutty notes in it after having had so many already. The sleepiness was beginning to hit you and you were ready to be curled up in the backseat. The ninety minute car ride was the perfect amount of time to sleep some of the alcohol off. 

Blessedly, Erwin was doing his rounds of goodbye and Levi managed to wrangle the keys from him so you two could sit in the car and wait for him. It was also nice to be off your feet after walking in heels for so long and you were happy to find a cardigan to cuddle into as you stretched your legs out on the seat and propped yourself up on the door.

“That was fun,” Erwin said as he slid into the driver’s seat, absolutely beaming. “But now I’m ready for bed.”

“Get us home first, big guy,” you replied. 

“Yeah yeah, can’t have me falling asleep at the wheel,” he joked, but it only resulted in Levi slapping his arm and going “that’s not funny.”

You giggled at them, happy to have found people like them to spend so much time with. Glad that for once something seemed to be working in your favor. Erwin pulled up to your residences quicker than you expected since you dozed off at some point. Erwin poked your cheek to wake you and you had to swat him off as you untangled yourself from the cardigan to undo your seatbelt. You waved them both good night at your door across their little garden. The sun was barely peeking above the horizon when you stumbled inside and you braced yourself against the wall as you took a few deep breaths to prepare yourself to change. When you leaned down to fuss with the strap, your fingers struggled with the little buckle and as you huffed in frustration there was a knock at your door. 

“What did I leave now–” You were expecting to see Erwin or Levi. Or even both of them, which was the least likely of the options. But if that was unlikely, this was purely impossible. Nonsensical. He was the very last person you would have ever expected to see at your door. You blinked harshly twice. As if he would disappear if you did. 

“Hi,” Onyankopon said. 

[pokemon-dungeon-masters]

Charsheet Sunday!

As usual, post your character sheets in the replies.

There's nothing particularly pressing I want to bring up at the moment, so I'm going to go a bit more in depth into the details of the character sheet under the cut today.

Question of the Day:

"Guildmaster's getting drinks for everyone from the Cafe today! Do you want anything?"

What does your character ask to get from the Cafe?

As for Yew the Misdreavus here...

"Get me something as cold and black as the depths of my heart!"

"One hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, then?"

"NO!"

Didn't really have any witty commentary today, so instead I wanted to go through the character sheet.

At the top left are the basics of a Pokemon character. Name, pokemon species, pronouns, ability, etc. Nature in this system doesn't actually do anything mechanically - as with the Mystery Dungeon series, it's purely for flavor. I like to line my pokemon's personality with the stats that would result from it, but nobody's stopping you from having an Adamant special attacker or a Calm physical attacker.

Below that are your Level, Current/Max HP, Status, and Heal Pool. All translate directly from the mainline games aside from Heal Pool, which is our stand-in for PMD's regeneration - rather than slowly regenerating every few steps, our system has players regenerate their entire Heal Pool's worth of d6s every time they enter a new floor. No need to stall next to the stairs to make sure you're in top shape for the next floor.

Below that are the victories required to level up as well as the current number of victories your character has - our stand-in for experience points. Defeat a number of pokemon equal to your level to level up; Bosses might be worth more, while weak minions might not be worth anything at all - up to DM discretion.

At the bottom left, there's your personal type matchup chart. Mod Nines has it programmed to automatically factor in type interactions as well as Abilities, making effectiveness easy to figure at a glance. (Notably, super effectiveness actually only deals 1.5x damage in this system, so a Bisharp player doesn't instantly die from a random Low Kick; 2x and 4x are just useful shorthands. Resistance is unchanged, but super effectiveness and resistance still cancel out.)

Stats are self explanatory, with each one corresponding to a stat in the mainline games. You gain two stat points every 5 levels, but are required to put them into different stats, and can't go past 10. Most attack rolls will add a relevant stat and subtract the defender's defending stat from a 2d6 roll. Boosts cap out at +3, which is enough to almost guarantee a full/partial hit for an attacking stat or prevent incoming full hits for a defensive stat. Boosts also wear off after a few turns, so don't expect to Swords Dance at the start of a floor and then go on a rampage. Such effects are tracked in the bottom-middle area.

Both Items and Relationships are further developed in Dungeons - the former as the DM makes them available, and Relationships as your party members grow and interact with each other. Notably, most items only work within Dungeons - don't expect to demolish the guild with a One-Room Orb.

Finally, moves. Each character has Basic Attack which deals 1 damage, and can equip 4 moves available to them by level up (according to whatever generation last featured them). There are ways to gain access to moves outside your natural learnset, from TMs to Dojo training to Tutors - the more Keen Eye'd viewers might even notice Dirge, a move that doesn't actually exist in the mainline games.

There will be ways to gain access to homebrew moves, particularly for pokemon with poor levelup learnsets - after all, it'd be rather disappointing to have a Mawile character you're excited about only to realize that her only STAB move is Fairy Wind until she hits level 36 for Iron Head... that's over 600 Victories away. Even with how streamlined our system is, that's a long time!

As with the mainline games, moves have Power, effects, relevant attacking and defending stats, and PP. Most are equivalent to whatever counterparts the mainline games have for them, but a few get a bit more creative - for instance, many Dance moves like Fiery Dance can use Charisma instead of Insight, since. You dance. That's a charisma thing.

There's also Dojo Enhancements, ways to further customize moves. Enhancements are unlocked with your party's Rank, and can greatly change how a move is used. Earthquake, for instance, becomes a much more appealing option when you can ensure it doesn't damage your teammates!

The character sheet also has pages for players to manage their Bag, write up their backstory, gauge their personality, view how moves work in our system, and show off pictures of their characters. Here's Yew's!

[mageofmercy]

I ask myself, what could you say about the life of sign of True Aries. What of it can you tell the world? Set the stage. The expectation. The rambling. Know that whoever enters into the depths of this comic of Ms paint, shall never escape. How do we know? Because we've tried, and failed.

TRUE ARIES - THE SIGN OF THE EXCAVATOR

The google definition for Excavator is: "A person who removes earth carefully and systematically from an archaeological site in order to find buried remains" This strikes me in several ways - one, by removing the earth carefully and systematically, they are patient. Methodical. Plodding toward a singular goal to be then fully completed before moving on to the next one. Because from what I know of Archaeology, it's a very slow paced job. Brushing at the dirt of bones that took weeks alone to even find prior. Dig dig dig, scrape scrape scrape, brush brush brush. For any regular person? This would get boring, very fast. But no, get into enough of a rhythm? And you're there.  Because adventure motivates Rust bound more than anything else. They crave new experiences, the wilder and father-from-home? The better. "Be the detective. It is you." What strikes you more as a detective than the archetypical Excavator? Just as you're sniffing out a scene, or looking for clues to catch a wanted criminal? Isn't that just as similar to digging for bones?  In excavation, you've got to find where possible bones could be, then dig, but carefully - not just like some barbarian who's digging holes just to dig holes. No. You've gotta finesse these bones out. You've gotta show em some loving care, woo these suckers out of the earthy prison that they've got stuck in...!  Sounds like it takes a lot of understanding, patience, careful planning, knowing the way of the land, smart, resourceful, knowledgeable, wise, and somewhat kind dare I say? You provide knowledge for the future. You are a leader. A trailblazer. Someone who leads, scouts, or straight up Lewis and Clark your way through life, Incapable of accepting things as they come. Action over passive acceptance. Constantly looking to the future to analyze the past. Does that make sense? If not it still sounds cool. (A great friend and traveling companion, so? Are you Lewis? Or Clark? No. Pocahontas!) You are RESILIANT, I say it as caps - because of how much emphasis your facets stand out to me, it says that your ability to bounce back from injury is to be the toughest out of probably anybody. And heck, as a True Aries I think you might be the Toughest Cookie the world has ever Cookied. Although selfish and quick to anger, and although it's a different definition for everyone - for these ones it may be because your life is marked by so much trouble. You are fundamentally incapable of accepting things as they come. Say a terrible condition befalls you? I believe it right to say that most Time bound wouldn't just sit and do nothing. They would do something about it. "Impossible is just a word." After all, being apart of Derse sway? You're already a rebel. From fascism to the most recent trend in casual footwear? You've got it all. Although inflexible and pessimistic, you're a great problem solver... you're nothing if not consistent. It may be hard for you to be vulnerable toward others. So? Find those special people you can truly trust! It would do you well to stay away from the Vriska's and the Equiuses anyone who would limit your ability to be yourself, or squander your ability to love? To know, to feel, to chart your future? (That is to say, Light, Heart and Time? The two aspects that sit beside you are important for you. Know that.) It is yours and yours alone. You are the Excavator. It is you.

[adapembroke]

How Pluto Transits Can Change Your Life: Reflecting on Pluto Square Pluto

There are things that happen that divide a life in two: life before the event and everything that came after. Pluto transits tend to bring events like these. Events that change you, mark you, hurt you, break you, and leave you with scars.  But there is no Pluto transit more likely to have a before time and an after time than the Pluto square.

By the time you reach the Pluto square, you will have experienced a hard Pluto transit (conjunction, opposition or square) involving every planet in your chart. Go through the outline of the story of your life and pick out the dates of your Pluto transits, and you will have a collection of the stories that have shaped you, the battles you’ve survived. 

During the Pluto square, each of the planets that have been impacted by those Pluto transits meets up with Pluto again for trips down memory lane. These visits with Pluto summon flashbacks from the times when transiting Pluto hit those planets. 

The choice of the word “flashbacks” (adopting the language of trauma) is intentional here. Pluto is Lord of the Underworld. When he has business with us, he has the tendency to appear out of the ground and pull us down into the depths like Persephone. 

Pluto transits are long, and personal planets (the planets most impacted by Pluto transits) move quickly. Over the 2-3 years of the Pluto square, each planet will meet up with Pluto several times, allowing us to examine the stories we tell about the past from different angles.

The Pluto Square Is a Time Machine

I am at the beginning of my Pluto square, and the personal planets are starting to meet up with Pluto for the first time. When I started writing this, transiting Venus was approaching an exact square to transiting Pluto and an opposition to my natal Pluto. I’m finishing it a few hours before the transit is exact.

Transits don’t just happen when the meeting between planets is exact. Just like you don’t need to be sitting on someone’s lap to have a conversation with them, planets can interact with each other from a distance. Typically, the closer they are to each other, the more intense the conversation is, but that isn’t always the case.

A few days ago, I started feeling a strange desire to listen to an album that I hadn’t listened to since Pluto was square my Venus. I had listened to that album obsessively during that transit. I put on the album, and I only had to listen to the first few notes to know that listening to it was going to be a trip back in time. 

As you might expect from a Venus-Pluto transit, my Venus-Pluto square was a dramatic time for my relationships. I vividly remember lying in bed with the sure and certain knowledge that the breakup I was going through had left me changed forever. 

It’s a love song cliche: If I can’t love you, I will never love again. I was perfectly aware of the cliche at the time, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before love comes again. But I also knew that the way I loved, the people I loved would be different after this breakup. It was like the explosion from the end of the relationship not only destroyed the places where my ex and I connected but parts of me that were necessary for that kind of connection to happen at all. 

It is a common saying in the astrology community that Pluto transits only take away things that are already dead. After my Pluto-Venus experience, I’m not so sure of that. That breakup was many years ago. I am happily married. My husband and I have a child. I love more deeply than I ever have before, but I was right. The people I have connected with since that breakup have been different. The way that I connect is different. Different. Not better or worse, but the part of me that Pluto killed had been a living thing, and that living thing is gone. 

Time brings distance, and distance brings perspective. 

At the time of our breakup, my ex and I were writers publishing in the same genre. Shortly after our relationship ended, I learned that stories we wrote would be published in the same anthology. Publication came with marketing responsibilities. As much as I wanted to run for the hills and avoid my ex after the breakup, I was forced to stay in their professional orbit, long enough to promote the book. 

Awkward! 

When I think back to the articles my ex published while we were doing promo, it is so clear to me that our breakup was about more than incompatibility between me and my ex. My ex was going through drastic changes to their sexuality. Who I am, the way I do relationships, only worked with the person they had been but weren’t any longer. 

In other words, the breakup shattered me, but the underlying reasons weren’t really about me.  

Years later, I wish I could say that I feel nothing but compassion for my ex and the person I was. Maybe, I’m still feeling from the wound. Maybe compassion will come. (One of the things I’m curious about as I go into my Pluto square is learning more about the way Pluto wounds heal.) But, for now, what I feel is cold indifference. 

Cold indifference is what I imagine Pluto feels looking back at the sun, the cold indifference that comes from a distance so great that the sun is indistinguishable from any other star. 

I look back at the people we were with a shrug:  It wasn’t really about me. It wasn’t even about us.

The Pluto Square Asks: Where Does It Hurt?

The Pluto square isn’t a magic bullet that takes away the pain of Pluto transit wounds. I know this because Pluto was square my Mercury not that long ago, and every time the moon makes a hard aspect to my Mercury (approximately once a week), those wounds still sting. 

What this transit is doing is giving me a bunch of opportunities to do the existential equivalent of body scans. As each of the personal planets interacts with Pluto, I am being invited to look back in time and ask myself, “How have I healed? Where does it hurt?”

Related Articles

[heartlilith]

Perfect Partner Reading (example reading)

(Using Placidus House System)

Based on these Natal Chart Placements:

Sun in Gemini

Moon in Libra

Ascendent in Taurus

Venus in Gemini

Mars in Taurus

Your Perfect Partner’s Placements: 

Sun in Aries: 

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and they also belong to the fire element. Aries is known for their bold and energetic personality. Like all fire signs, Aries is passionate, swift, and not afraid to take on a challenge. In relationships, a partner with an Aries Sun is fun and ready to go on adventures with their loved one, they love action. Whatever it is, they’re up for it. Aries Sun natives have no problem showing that they like someone unless they have a feeling it’s not reciprocated or other signs in their chart holds them back. They’re bold, so they have no problem making the first move if they’re confident in how it’ll pan out. Once they’re locked in with someone, they become partners in crime, ride or dies. Aries partners energize their partners because their uppity nature in contagious. They know how to make their partner feel loved and they know how to build them up. Sometimes though, Aries in love can be jealous and reactive. They aren’t going to compete with anyone and they’ll be sure to let you know that. Aries Suns can be very sensitive especially when they’ve let someone in, so don’t break their trust. You’ll want to keep them around. 

Moon in Gemini: 

Gemini Moons are social butterflies that know a little about a lot. Seriously, they can get by in conversation with anyone because they’re so damn smart and personable. They need a partner that is intellectually stimulating and will always be ready for the next thing. Someone they can explore things with; physically, emotionally, sexually is the best bet for Gemini Moons. They want to learn from their partners and they want to teach them too. Gemini Moons needs a best friend type of love, someone that will let them have space but also be there for when times get rough and things aren’t so adventurous and fun anymore. They need someone that can ground them and also know when to have a good time. Gemini Moon partners will reward you with having your back and making you smile. Plus, these people are down to do anything because they’re curious at heart.

Ascendent in Scorpio: 

Scorpio Rising natives are mysterious, alluring, and tend to have a magnetic effect on people. People just want to know more about them. With your partner’s Aries Sun and Gemini Moon, Scorpio rising comes in and balances all the extroverted energy. It brings depth and emotion to the chart that otherwise is hyper and ready for the next. In relationships, Scorpio Risings are protective and loyal to their partners. These people pay attention and take notes to the ones they’re interested in, they want to know what makes someone tick. They’re the type to get your name tattooed on them, and with an Aries Sun I wouldn’t be surprised. 

Venus in Taurus: 

Venus in Taurus natives are so romantic and comforting. They’re grounded, stable, and in relationships they will try their best to make things work before calling it quits. Again with the extroverted Sun and Moon sign in this chart, this Venus sign is perfect for having a partner who knows how to have a good time but also can be serious and offer stability in love. Taurus Venus partners like the finer things in life so expect the best gifts on your birthday and holidays especially because this partner pays attention! Expect to go out to eat a lot too, and with a Gemini Moon in the chart as well, be up for trying all sorts of new cuisines. Also with these placements, expect your partner to be willing to learn how to cook your favorite meals and be damn good at it. 

Mars in Scorpio: 

Scorpio Mars in the natal chart adds a layer of intensity and devotion to a relationship. You can trust this person, you can tell them anything and they’ll keep your secret. Mixed with an Aries Sun, things can be very very steamy and hot in this relationship. This partner is intense and wants to show you how much they love you through sex, affection, and intimacy. They want to spend every moment with you and experience life with you. On the flip side, Scorpio Mars natives with an Aries Sun can fly off the handle easily especially because they tend to get territorial over what they consider theirs. Just remind them that you love them and you’re there to stay, they need someone to match their devoted and loyal energy. You’ll never have to guess how these people feel about you because they will remind you everyday through their words and actions. 

Prominent 3rd house:

With a prominent and well aspected 3rd house in your partner’s chart, they’ll have the ability to intellectually stimulate you - which means a lot to Geminis. Friendly debates, discussing politics, and sharing facts will all suit you well. This partner more than likely makes your partner intelligent. You appreciate the way they speak and convey information, you like the way they think. This partner might even finish your sentences! With a prominent 5th house as well, your partner may like to write for a hobby or even as a living. Somehow, your partner will tie communication and creativity together which inspires your Gemini and Libra placements. In love, you’ll have great communication with each other. I think a prominent 3rd house would be perfect for you!

Prominent 5th house: 

A partner with a well aspected and prominent 5th house in the natal chart is creative, fun to be around, the life of the party, the “cool” kid. These people are super creative and probably love art, writing, sports, dance, or anything they can use to express themselves. They have a close relationship with kids; probably a sibling to children much younger than them or have nieces and nephews that they’re close with. Either way, they probably want a lot of kids themselves. These people can help you connect to your inner child because they themselves are childlike in a silly and cute way. They know how to let loose and have a blast. Plus with the placements in this partner’s chart you’ll probably be their muse. 

Overview: 

I went into some detail about how each placement suits you already, but I’ll recap more. With your Gemini Sun and Venus, it’ll be a breathe of fresh air to have a partner with prominent 3rd and 5th house placements - they know how to communicate with you and they know how to have a good time. Like your partner, you have elements that ground you and give you depth, they balance out all that air. This makes you guys perfect together in my opinion, your need for stability and romance will be satisfied along with your need to be lighthearted and have a best friend type of relationship. Your Venus in Gemini isn’t the most compatible with their Taurus Venus which can bring some difficulties. But with all your Gemini in your chart, I feel like you need a challenge and differences in order to satisfying your need to learn. Plus, this is sort of saved by your Taurus in Mars placement and their Gemini Moon. Ascendent wise, you’re opposites and in this case, they attract! Their Taurus Venus would technically be in your first house and your Gemini Venus in their 8th house, that is magnetic. You guys will have a deep bond; your partner will probably have that “love at first sight” feeling and your love has the ability to transform them as a person, this also works vice versa.  

Let’s keep in mind that there will never be a chart where you share no tension or conflict with someone. There’s really no such thing as a “Perfect Partner”, but in my opinion, I think this chart would suit you well. Of course, there’s so many more charts and placements that would suit you too so don’t get discouraged if you never meet someone with these exact placements. It’s just for fun and can give you an idea of what you need in a relationship. 

This reading is 3-4 pages long using size 12 font and is single spaced.

[elthadriel]

writer ask meme: 13 + 29?

Hey!

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

It really depends on the length of the fic but I always do some. For shorter fics it's often bullet points of the beats I want to hit and the longer the fic the more in depth those will get. With very long stuff, <20k, the planning process is a whole thing. I make tables and charts breaking down thematic plot lines and how they relate to each other vs the driving plot.

I don't have a good one to share just now, but once I finish my big bang I might share the outline for it.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Have the opening 800 words from the Fox/Thorn fic that I started almost two years ago and just never seem to have the time to crawl back to.

-----

Thorn comm’d Fox about two minutes form his office, which was enough time for Fox to send a reply that Thorn would ignore, Fox to realise he was being ignored, send a second, ruder message that Thorn would also ignore, and finally resign himself to his fate.

The office wasn’t locked when Thorn arrived, and he let himself in.

“I brought you a present,” he announced, placing the bottle down on Fox’s desk, finding space between a stack of filmsi, two data pads, and five empty cups of caf. At least some of the caf looked like it had been sitting for a while and Fox hadn’t downed it all in the last couple of hours.

How much did Fox need to piss?

“You know, when a senior officer comms you, you are expected to read and obey them,” Fox drawled, somehow eyeing the bottle up suspiciously even through his helmet.

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t understand the message?” Thorn sat in the seat across from Fox, wondering if Fox would be genuinely annoyed if he put his boots up on Fox’s desk or just pretend to be.

“You’re right, this is my fault. I forget you were trained by Alpha-31. I’ll use smaller words next time. Is asshole still too long for you?” Fox hadn't put his work down, but he had lent back in his chair and Thorn could hear the smile in his voice even if it was hidden by his helmet.

“I don’t know, Sir, maybe if you attach a picture?”

Fox snorted and Thorn beamed. Success.

“Seriously though, the drink, Fox. I had to pull rank on a whole squad of troopers to get it for you.” All he’s actually said was that Fox might like the last remaining bottle and all competitors had abruptly lost interest; they were a good bunch.

“What is it?” Fox asked, still not reaching for it.

“Not a clue, some fruit based soda. It's very popular on [planet]. The senator’s nephew gave us a crate.”

“Uh huh.”

Thorn sighed, plenty loudly enough for Fox to hear.

Fox glanced back down at his datapad and there was no way Thorn was letting that fly. He popped the seal on his helmet and pulled it off, dumping it onto the ground by. Checking Fox had looked up again he pulled the tie from his hair letting it fall around his shoulders. It probably looked awful, it had been tied up all day and was still half holding that shape.

Fox didn’t move, except a slight lift of his head and Thorn wished he’d waited until Fox had removed his own helmet.

His hair was very much not regulation and if any other CG officer tried it Fox would hold them down to shave it off himself if he had too. Thorn worked his hands through the loose curls, trying to pull his hair back into a half decent shape.

“It’s against the regs for a member of the Guard to remove his helmet while on duty—“

“Not on duty,” Thorn pointed out.

“—Or otherwise representing the Guard including but not limited to wearing other pieces of his armour or in areas under CG jurisdiction.”

Thorn rolled his eyes, a big obvious motion. Fox never mentioned his hair length though.

“Report me if you want, I know the man in charge and he’s a little bitch,” Thorn said and, stars, he could picture exactly how Fox would be smirking at the challenge.

“Need me to come over there and spank you, Commander?”

Thorn’s mouth went a little dry. He wasn’t even into that shit.

“Big talk for a man too scared to drink a soda he hasn’t heard of,” Thorn said and decided Fox would probably only pretend to be annoyed and placed one boot and then the other up onto Fox’s desk.

Fox lent back in his chair, tossing his datapad onto his desk. Thorn tallied that up as his second win.

“Thorn, the last food you brought me gave the worst shits of my life, the time before that was, according to Prayers, literally poisonous,” Fox pointed out.

“I had both just fine,” Thorn said, “It’s not my fault your delicate constitution can’t handle anything with more flavour than a purple ration bar.”

“You know that excuse won’t hold up when your dragged in front of a tribunal for murdering a superior.”

“There’s just so few chances to advance my career, sir.”

Fox snorted and rolled his shoulders in a way that suggested he’d been sitting still for far too long.

“How was I supposed to know it would make you sick? They told me it was a delicacy.” Thorn had certainly enjoyed it.

“To [aliens], sure. To humans it’s a chance to explain to your medic that trusting you doesn’t require brain damage and regular stupidity will do the job just fine.”

[alyjojo]

August 👨🏽‍🏫 2023 Monthly - Aquarius

Whole of your energy: Judgement

Something is going on with your family, I don’t get that it’s you. Somehow you’re removed from this situation, and you feel helpless to do anything about it. It looks like your solution is giving people space, giving things time, but that may be something that’s later used against you. If it’s a tight-knit group, you could be coming off as insensitive or uncaring. This could apply to many things, but Death signals an ending, travels are here too, and 10 Swords show this being a painful or emotional sort of situation. It’s not your area of expertise that’s for sure, and 8 Swords may be showing that because of that, you’re avoiding facing the situation entirely. Demon Red Rainbow has your issues showing up as your enemy, it’s probably your natural detachment and avoidance. You’re unsure how much you want to get involved, so you don’t. Aquarius avoids emotional scenes like the plague if they can help it, not because they don’t have emotions, but because they don’t like feeling them openly, or don’t know what they can do to fix it, it’s like there is no purpose for you if you can’t fix it or DO something about it. You can only move on or move away from it, which is what you’re deciding to do. For some this may be something from the past repeating and you’re just accepting it and moving on.

What’s going on in August:

Death:

There is an ending occurring somewhere that you’re likely not even available to see, you could be traveling when this happens, or this is regarding someone at a distance from you - emotionally or literally. Someone may be transferring or moving away, and you’re not around for that due to scheduling or whatever. It’s always possible an ex tries to resurface during a Venus retrograde (especially for you, being in Leo), or some past situation you’ve already moved on or moved away from with The Chariot. It’s like your current life, goals, ambitions, something is moving the polar opposite direction from whatever this is trying to pull you back. If it’s love, it’s unrequited. If it’s some past situation, it’s a missed opportunity. You’ve pretty much washed your hands of the issue, and someone else may be trying to hold you accountable for that. If you’re missing a painful or tender sort of moment with the family, they’re feeling disconnected from your heart and could feel like you don’t care. 50/50 whether you actually do or not, some of you may be extremely distant and not even know the depth of this situation that you’re not in. Some of you could feel that way about them.

8 Pentacles:

This is where your energy goes, your work. Knight of Pentacles clarifies as daily application to grinding and putting in the effort towards the things you can tangibly see, feel, touch, effect and change. You can’t fix broken hearts, but you can craft a pentacle and then another and hopefully get somewhere with that. If you’ve felt hurt or betrayed by something, you focus on work. If there are endings around you and the world is burning down, you’re focused on work. It’s the responsible thing to do and for you it’s also kinda looking like a coping mechanism, and an excuse to tell others why you’re not around, or don’t want to be (at least sometimes). Usually, you probably are actually busy and working. This gives off heavy Cap/earthy vibes, you could have that in your chart, or circumstances could be forcing you to grind during a time where you’re expected to grieve. It’s possible this situation is regarding work, people around you that you get on well with may be forced to leave, or relocate, for some reason. I don’t see it being you though.

2 Wands rev:

This is an energy of “playing it safe”, you’ve dodged the bullet in this situation or somehow avoided the worst of what’s going on. You seem to realize you could’ve been targeted, could have done more to speak up and say something about what’s going on…even if it’s just being kind, or popping off about how things “should’ve” gone, with little substance because it’s out of your hands. Especially at work. But you don’t. What’s the point? You’re inspired and feel secure that you haven’t been brought down with this disaster, it’s also possible you’re completely oblivious to a disaster at all, because you’ve been working! I see people upset with you, but it must be telepathy because no one is actually saying anything and you’re over here just living your life, clueless as to what is even going on. If people are leaving your work environment, you seem happy about it, and could even be receiving a boost to your income with 9 Pentacles. Mo’ money mo’ money, sorry Bob from Sales, idk you. Be careful, others seem to be judging you for something or other regarding this. Idk why.

5 Cups rev:

Doesn’t matter though, because you’re over it. Especially for the stories where this is a past event, you’re like huh, what, when? Doesn’t even register. You consider whether you can work with others or not, and 10 Wands along with your Burden Oracle show the heaviest burden being you having no idea what’s gone on beneath the surface, feeling disconnected from others in powerful moments or losses has lead to a complete disconnect from them. Or you, if you’re the one that’s experienced this lack of care or knowing with others. Either is likely. It’s like you go back and forth whether you and others are on the same page, you’re not, and you have to make decisions from a detached place, but there’s no depth to that decision because you don’t really know. Good lord, this is annoying 😆 No one is being vulnerable, no one is speaking, there’s no clarity, the burden is The Moon. No shit right? The burden is always The Moon. Confusion, what’s hidden, what you can’t see, even my head hurts with this energy. You just can’t change something, have accepted this, and moved on. What else are people expecting…idk.

7 Wands:

It’s possible someone’s going to hold you accountable for your actions, and you’re going to have to defend your position. 7 Wands wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel like you were doing the right thing, holding back from your family is what’s being shown as the issue. Spending a lot of time at work, traveling perhaps, your absence has been felt by someone, whether they’re near to you or far away. It’s a fine line dealing with an Aquarius, part of this feels like others can’t understand you (common issue for you), and the other part of this feels like you’ve made very little effort to try to make them understand. You’re not speaking either. Whether you’re giving excuses or standing your ground, you’re being held to something and expected to do more, care more, try harder, show up? With family, it’s a loyalty thing, and they could be the ones defensive with you. Or that’s all switched. With your color cards, you’re definitely headed in another direction, and may be having to stand up for yourself in regards to this decision. But you’re gonna do it anyway 💯

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Leo, Capricorn, Virgo, Scorpio & Cancer

Oracles: ✨

78 Recharge

When the pace of life becomes too hectic, know to slow down, be mindful, and go with the flow.

17 Flash

A creative flash of inspiration will come to you and quickly give you the perfect solution.

40 Resurrection

Reconsider a project or recall a person from the past to resurrect an idea.

10 Burden 🫠

Many times we take on the stress of those we love and care for. We see it as the ultimate sacrifice. We take on others’ burden to save them the trouble or heartache. Ironically, the way energy and the universe work makes this a very counterproductive way of operating. When we take on the burdens of others, we deny them the ability to learn and grow from their own lessons. We also interfere with divine planning and timing. Never one to be thwarted - any lessons circumvented will absolutely reappear - sometimes with much more force than what was originally intended.

Ask yourself if you or another is taking on troubles and lessons not belonging to them out of a need to be needed. This stems from the fear that you (or they) are fundamentally not enough. This is not true, you are created perfect. Your fears and doubts keep you separated from this truth. This is the separation one can feel from Spirit. Once you accept and believe you are perfect and worthy, the tendency to make yourself invaluable to others through your help and assistance will go away. Your relationships can then be based on truth and not manipulation.

We enter into August as:

Demon Red Rainbow 👹

“The greatest adversary is the one living inside of me.”

If the Demon Red Rainbow speaks to you, it is an indication that you are starting to (or will) forge ahead on the path you have chosen. You are correct in thinking that this path is important. Demon Red Rainbow denotes miraculous changes which lay ahead but not without your dogged determination. If you are facing a hill that appears insurmountable, this card reminds us that most true adversaries are the ones inside of us. Life always turns for the better when we face our demons.

You are not to abandon your focus no matter what comes up. The direct route may be the best way to the other side of your fear. There is a crucial lesson here for us all. Know that Spirit always provides an ally when we face the Demon Red Rainbow. It will be clear to you who they are. You need not face anything alone. Spirit has chosen a very powerful lesson for you so that you may teach others what you have learned. A gift of this kind is never given without our ability to use it.

What is to be learned in August:

The Lilac Key 🔑

“The last thing out of Pandora’s Box was hope.”

Change is coming. It is imminent and cannot be avoided. The desire to run from this situation is tempting. However this is a necessary challenge for you. You are going through the labor pains of birth. This may indicate a painful divorce or partnership ending bitterly. In all situations it represents a death of an old way of living, thinking, and surviving. Lilac Key appears when mere survival is not enough for you. Your will to live is what is forcing the change. It is a change of consciousness, which in turn will lead to a balance of harmony in all areas of your life. Cleaning up the past is a process that is often painful; yet hope and joy are the after effects. Remember, once the key has been used to open the door, once you have entered this new consciousness, you cannot go back. You will be left with a new way of living, one without keys - for where you are heading there is no need for locks ���

Purple may be a lucky color 💜

[astrologicalsstuff]

My weird poly relationship part3

Okay finally the semi fun part

Okay we met this one guy I’m not going to say his name for his sake but he was gorgeous! She initially introduced us she told me because she wanted me to have a good fuck buddy🫣🫣. She matched with him on hinge but talked to him bout meeting me and so we did it.

Like I said before we were kind of dynamic, so I ended up finding his ID in the back of his car. Nothing weird it was just lying there. But he told us it was a fake🤣 and we all just moved on. The other girl (my friend) remembered all his information and we did a deep dive on him…

The only reason I know this now is because of his criminal record lol but luckily we found out his birthday and we’re able to do this.. lol don’t underestimate people

This is my “friends” chart:

And this was the guys:

And I’ll get to mine later but I think I have to do the synastry in its own post because it was delicious🥰🥰

His mars falls in her 8th and boy when I tell you he did not like her at all… I didn’t know this though until later because we met him together and she was the only one who had his number

It really wasn’t deep for me but then again… nobody had planets in my 8th house

I find it funny because they both have neptune in the 1st and I will say these people were definitely different than expected.

This man had Pluto in the 10th house and he definitely had power struggles (Pluto) with authority and public image (10th house). Like I said before he had a criminal record and one you could look up👀.

Also he lied about his name and identity (neptune and Uranus conjunct in the first)

Her moon met with his Saturn in the second house and he USED HER FOR HER RESOURCES. He always got her to pay for things and bring food🤢

His Venus fell in her 5th house so he loved her for the… sex but this placement doesn’t quite indicate depth. His mars and Venus both in her houses of sex really showed that this was mostly a relationship of sex. But her Saturn is in the house with his Venus so there was definitely restriction there. She would always say she felt nothing afterward no matter how much she orgasmed.

It’s funny because his Mercury was in her 7th so she would talk for him, and my Mercury fell in both of their 7th so both of them would talk for me (I wasn’t in touch with him for many months but we’d still see each other)

Their composite rising is Capricorn so my stellium in their 7th house meant I was what complimented their relationship

When I talked to him afterward he told me I was the only reason he ever talked to her he was so repulsed by her.

[6ftundergrnd]

I swear this was always the song for the music video, but just recently realized the music video has the remix version for the audio so I thought I’d posters for anyone looking for this version.

In the first song that ever got OutKast any mainstream attention, the duo raps about a players ball they attend on Christmas Day. When the song started to move up the Billboard charts, it was modified so that it could maintain popularity even after Christmas season. It originally appeared on the La Face Family Christmas Album, and was also released on the duo’s debut album Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik.

[Intro: Rico Wade]

Man let me hit that

You gon' pass that?

Man, the scene was so thick

Lowriders, '77 Sevilles, El Dogs

Nothing but them 'Lacs

All the players, all the hustlers

I'm talking bout a black man heaven here, nahmsayin, yeah

[Verse 1: André 3000]

It's beginning to look a lot like, what?

Follow my every step

Take notes on how I crept

I's bout to go in depth

This is the way I creep my season, here's my ghetto rep

I kept, to say the least no, no it can't cease

So I begin to piece my two and two together

Gots no snowy weather, have to find something to do better, bet

I said subtract, so shut up that, nonsense about some silent night

I gots it crunk, if it ain't real, ain't right

I'm like no matter what the season

Forever chill with Smith

I sip my fifth, I chill with Wesson, got my reasons

So tell me what did you expect

You thought I'd break my neck, to help y'all deck the halls

Oh naw, I got other means of celebrating

I'm getting blizzard at HoJo, I got that hoochie waiting

I made it through another year can't ask for nothing much more

It's OutKast for the books I thought you knew so now you know, let's go

[Chorus: Sleepy Brown]

All the players came from far and wide

Wearing afros and braids, kicking them gangsta rides

Now I'm here to tell you there's a better day

When the player's ball is happening, all day ery'day

[Verse 2: Big Boi]

Halle-lu-jah, halle-lu-jah

Y'know I do some things more different than I used to

'Cause I'm a player, doing what the players do

The package store was closed, okay my day is ruined

This is ridiculous, I'm getting serious, I'm getting curious

'Cause the house is smelling stank, the chitlins old as bitches

I made no wishes cause I'm mobbing folk niggas in the back

Getting tipsy off the nog and high as hell off the contact smoke

They having a smoke out in my back seat

They passing herb rewinding verses 'cause it's in the air

I hit the parks, I hit the cuts, I'm hitting switches

'Cause I'm switching from side to side looking for hoes and snitches

I'm wide open on the freeway, my pager broke my vibe

'Cause a junkie is a junkie three-sixty-five

It's just another day of work to me the spirit just ain't in me

Grab my pistol and my ounce see what them junkies gotta give me

'Cause it's like that, yeah

Forever pimpin', never slippin', that's how it is

[Chorus: Sleepy Brown]

All the players came from far and wide

Wearing afros and braids, kicking them gangsta rides

Now I'm here to tell you there's a better day

When the player's ball is happening, all day ery'day

[Verse 3: Big Boi]

Ain't no chimneys in the ghetto so I won't be hanging my socks on no chimney

I'm full as a tick, fix me a plate, I got the remedy

Some greens and that ham, not

Don't need no ham hocks, don't play me like I'm smoking rocks

I got the munchies, we got the Mary Jane in the Dungeon

Just to let you niggas know in '93, that's how we coming

So ho ho hoes, check my king-ass 'fro

The gin and juice has got me tipsy so, um

[Verse 4: André 3000]

It goes, give me ten, and I'll serve you then, now we bend

The corner in my Cadillac

My heart does not go pitty-pat for no rat

I'm leaning back, my elbow's out the window

Coke, rum and indo fills my body, where's the party?

We roll deep, we dip to Underground, see a lot of hoes around

I spit my game while waiting countdown

A five, fo', a three, two, here comes the one

A new year has begun, P-Funk, spark another one

[Chorus: Sleepy Brown]

All the players came from far and wide

Wearing afros and braids, kicking them gangsta rides

Now I'm here to tell you there's a better day

When the player's ball is happening, all day ery'day

[Outro: Peaches]

Here's a little something for the players out there hustling

Getting down for theirs

From East Point, College Park, Decatur, Da 'Briar

You know, niggas worldwide

Down, for theirs

[Chorus: Sleepy Brown]

All the players came from far and wide

Wearing afros and braids, kicking them gangsta rides

Now I'm here to tell you there's a better day

When the player's ball is happening, all day ery'day

All the players came from far and wide

Produced By

Organized Noize

[tiktaaliker]

i went back to the chart to see if nil looked anything like boghast (and in hindsight i should've realized they would just. look like null bc two halves of a whole and all lmao) but uh. Did null or nil ever have eyes? Trying to figure out if nil once had eyes but lost them when they evolved into bo lol.

oooooh MAN this one has kind of a convoluted answer

so eyes in general are a very big motif in mortally coiled, both visually and narratively. pretty much any time eyes are mentioned or referenced is going to be something relevant lol

to answer your question quickly, null does NOT have eyes, nil DOES have eyes. the reason WHY I chose to do this is a lil more complicated!

put under a readmore because i have a lot to say about this

First of all, it should be noted that the Eternal Coil does not exist in the same physical dimensions as the Mortal Coil; the physical designs of the Big Three is less of how they ACTUALLY look and just. how they can be perceived by those in the Mortal Coil in the rare times there is contact between the two. Someone from the Mortal Coil cannot reasonably exist fully in the Eternal Coil in the same way the Big Three can't reasonably exist in the Mortal Coil. However, it is SLIGHTLY easier for an Eternal to be in the Mortal Coil compared to the reverse due to an ability to not be 100 percent physically present in the Mortal Coil.

What the three Eternals CAN do is, in the case of a mortal drifting closer to the border between the Mortal and Eternal Coil (not a physical border and "drift" is typically a random phenomenon that isn't consciously controlled, but it CAN technically be done intentionally if you know what youre doing. its just really REALLY hard and does not guarantee you audience with anyone anyways), those in the Eternal Coil can put out... a fishing line of consciousness. Practically only a fingernail's worth of their existence is held into the Mortal Coil. The mortal in question will see A Being, since that's what they expect to be communicating with. The designs are what a mortal would see in this circumstance, but that's just a teensy tiny fraction of the Eternal specifically for communicating with those in the Mortal Coil. It's kind of like when rehabs use puppets to feed orphaned condors so they don't imprint of humans. It's like the rattles on some snake's tail that look like spiders. It's like an angler lure that can move and talk and looks real because you literally cannot perceive the parts that make it not real

So Sar'kai might LOOK like they have eyes. They technically do NOT have eyes, since that's not Sar'Kai in the same way a strand of your hair is not you. At most, those are eye-spots.

skipping ahead a little, when what will become Null and Nil are split from Noxa Krav, they are both bundles of matter and energy with a sort of suggested shape they're trending towards; Sar'Kai's pseudo-body is how the mortal world perceives them, so that energy is going to want to be shaped that way. That's ALSO complicated but i'll refrain from going too in depth here since i havent gotten it 100 percent ironed out yet

but the GIST is that sar'kai is what Null and Nil would look like in a vacuum. However, they had external forces and influences when they physically settled. The settled mortal forms want to settle into a state that is natural, efficient, and suited for the environment they are in.

Nil's was relatively simple; the woods, on the surface. They hunted their food. Hence, the function their physical body was meant to achieve was pretty similar to how the Mortal world generally perceives Sar'Kai; destruction as death, destruction as the wilds, destruction as the hunt and the kill. Structure begets function.

Because of this, Nil ends up looking a LOT like Sar'Kai, with a small amount of variation for practicality (duller coloration, sharper nose-horn, retractable claws, more practical "wings," actual normal ears and eyes, head-plating extends down the back of the neck, etc). Nil is animal-like because Nil is in a more standard environment for an animal. That includes eyes, because those are useful for hunting things.

as a reference, here's a better view of the pic i used in the chart (originally from an animation i did a lil bit back, i just don't have a more recent drawing of nil. mostly because when i draw mortally coiled characters it's null 99 percent of the time whoops. i like drawing null a lot ok)

Null, on the other hand, had a widely different environment, and therefore had structures formed to serve widely different functions. Null was stabilized within an extremely deep cave with little to no other life. They were developed in a way that is not typical for the normal perception of Sar'kai; destruction as erosion, destruction as isolation, destruction as digging a big hole into something. Destruction as just breaking shit. Both Null's teeth and the nose-horn were reshaped to break solid stone like an ice-pick. The head-plating is covering the entire top of the head to protect from rock debris. Since they live in pitch-dark, they don't need eyes. It's kind of pointless to have eyes when you have never experienced light before. Instead, the grey parts on their face and on the fins along their head and down their back (the ones on their back replacing the pseudo-wings, since those would just get in the way otherwise) are patches of nerves and chemoreceptors super sensitive to sound, scent, heat, radiation, vibrations; pretty much everything EXCEPT for light. Which is why nil has eyes but null does not. Null didn't need eyes when stabilizing. nil did.

ALSO: some other random things that Null developed differently due to being in a cave is: gecko-like pads on their hands/feet to navigate vertically along cave walls / lack of stinger on tail because. it's not like they need to envenom rocks. theyre rocks / only three fingers/toes on each hand as a bare minimum to manipulate things / extremely sparse markings compared to nil and sar'kai due to being. you know. in the dark.

ALSO ALSO: i think i shouldn't have done that comparison of bo and nil to nil/noxa krav/sar'kai because it's different than that. bo isn't nil, nil didn't become bo; bo is the byproduct of nil's death meaning that there is still a significant amount of eternal-related energy swirling around in those waters. bo isn't nil so much as bo is what generation theory used to think happened with maggots and flies, how they spontaneously formed in rotting meat. there was just so much energy that bo just sort of... happened. he's just a little bit nil flavored because that's what the building blocks used to be

and FINALLY bo not having eyes has less to do with null and nil and more to do with a weird eye-thing undead characters have going on that is ALSO complicated and i won't be going into here to avoid going too far off topic lol. eyes mean a lot of different things with a lot of different characters