#I was doing better for a time but then I haaaaad to come up with a plan to see her again

[kingtonberry]

///

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-One

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

“Harry!” You call for him from the bathroom. Saturday morning, the day of your house warming party. “Harry Edward Styles!”

He comes running in from the kitchen, almost slipping since he had socks on his feet. You were looking at yourself in the mirror.

“What? What is it?”

“You just haaaaad to fuck my neck up last night, right? You couldn’t have taken your fucking rings off?”

“I didn’t hear you complaining while I was doin’ it.” He says with a smirk.

“Couldn’t exactly talk, could I?”

“I never choke you hard enough that you can’t speak, come on.” He steps into the bathroom to look at the bruises on your neck. “Shit.”

“See!” You groan. “I wouldn’t care, but it’s too hot to wear a scarf, and you know, my entire fucking family is coming later. I can put some makeup on, but it’ll only help so much.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No…” You look at him. “Ugh, why do we have to be into such hard shit, why can’t we just like do it and be dainty?” Harry starts laughing.

“Wouldn’t be very satisfying would it?” He gives your bum a smack and leaves you in the bathroom.

You sigh heavily and go out to the kitchen where Harry was making banana pancakes. You sit up on the counter next to him. You were only wearing one of his white t-shirts and a pair of his black boxers.

“You should get dressed.” He says as he flips a pancake.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you look too sexy in my clothes and I’m gonna have to fuck you, and we just don’t have the time. We have to eat, get dressed, and then go to the store to pick up all the food we ordered for the party.” He looks you up and down. “So go change.”

“Harry…you’re standing there in a pair of boxers, and you’re telling me I need to change?”

“You have more self control than I do.” He flips another pancake.

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” He gets all the pancakes onto a plate and turns the stove off.You hop off from the counter and stand in front of him.

“See, I really don’t think I do. I think you have way more self control than I do.” You start palming him through his boxers.

“We really don’t have time.”

“Oh honey, I only need five minutes.”

You kneel in front of him and tug his boxers down slightly. You don’t waste anytime licking up and down his shaft. He grips the handle on the oven when you wrap your lips around his tip and suckle on it. You grip his thighs and take him deeper down your throat.

“Ah!” He moans. “Y/N.”

You swallow and he bucks his hips forward. You bob up and down on him quickly. You groan against him and cradle his balls.

“Fuck!”

He comes in your mouth, and you take all of it. You swallow with him in your mouth, and suck on him still.”

“Please.” He breathes.

You come off him and stand up. You wipe the corners of your mouth and reach around him to grab a pancake, biting into it.

“Mm, so good Harry, you’re such a good cook.” His mouth hangs open. “Well don’t just stand there, we need to eat, get dressed, and then go pick up all the food.”

//

Buster was being such a good boy while you and Harry ran around getting everything together. People would start showing up in an hour or so. You were in the bathroom pressing concealer to your neck.

“Okay, how’s it look? I think with my hair down it should be fine.”

“I don’t think anyone will notice, especially since you look so cute.”

You were wearing a cute light blue sundress with small white polka dots. Harry was wearing a pair of pastel purple slacks with a white shirt tucked in. Top buttons undone so you could just see the top of his butterfly tattoo.

“God, you look handsome.”

“You don’t think I should button up a bit?”

“No the whole outfit works better this way. And your pearls look so nice with it too.”

You both walk out to the living room and wait for people to show up.

//

Niall and Sarah came over first so you’d have a buffer. The boys were talking about their upcoming trip while the two of you were outside on the balcony.

“I’m gonna say it, Harry looks really hot.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” You both giggle. “He had his glasses on earlier with the entire ensemble, and oh my god, he looked like a really sexy teacher or something.”

“What is it about a man in glasses? I love when Niall wears his.”

“Hey babe?” Harry says coming out to you both.

“Yeah?”

“Erica and her boyfriend just got here.”

“Oh! Okay.” You stand up and Sarah follows you in.

You greet the two of them and start showing them around. Buster follows close next to you. Your mom and Bridget show up next, followed by your Aunt and Uncle. Kyle, Lora, and Michael are the last of your family to show up. Mariah and Rachel, Louis and Eleanor, and a few other friends all show up around the same time.

Your great uncle, his wife, and your cousins all show up as well. It was definitely a packed house. You were having a great time showing everyone around, and grateful that Buster was being so well behaved.

Erica can’t help but keep squinting at your neck. She could tell you had makeup on, but she couldn’t really understand why you would need it on your neck. She comes over closer to you to join the conversation you were in, just so she could get a better look.

“I got it for him in Aruba, isn’t it beautiful.” You were showing Louis and Eleanor the sunflower ring you had gotten for Harry.

Erica’s eyebrows raise when she looks at Harry’s rings, and then your neck. She walks away and goes to talk with Kyle. Most of the people were in the living area and balcony. Many of the kids around were playing with Buster.

“Harry, could you grab me another seltzer from the fridge?” You ask him.

“Sure! Be right back.”

There weren’t any people in the kitchen, so Erica and Kyle follow Harry in. He jumps when he sees them behind him.

“Um, hey, you guys havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, it’s a great party.” She squints at him.

“Can, I get either of you anything? The coolers should be full of drinks, Y/N just wanted hers in here.”

“Harry, we need to ask you something.” Kyle says, stepping closer to him.

“Sure, anythin’.”

“Are you hurting our sister?” Erica asks.

“What?” He looks at the two of them in complete shock. “No, why would either of you think that?”

“She has makeup all over her neck, and the spots look like where your rings would be.”

“Listen, uh-“

You walk into the kitchen.

“Babe, what’s…what’s going on in here?” You walk over to the fridge and grab your seltzer. You crack it open and take a sip.

“They asked me if I’ve been hurtin’ you cause your sister saw the makeup on your neck.” Your cheeks heat up.

“Oh my god.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Are you two stupid? Why would we invite you all hear if he was abusing me?”

“I’ve read before that people who have been abused in the past tend to-“

“Erica, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Harry says. “I am not, and would never hurt your sister in any way.”

“Then why’s her neck look like that?” Kyle asks. You more your hair to over it more.

“Are you sure you wanna know the answer to that?” You ask with red cheeks.

“What possible other explanation could there be?” Erica asks.

“Harry, leave the room, I can’t tell them with you standing here.”

“Oh my god.” He says and leaves through the other door. You take a deep breath.

“Sometimes…when we’re intimate…Harry and I…lightly…choke each other.”

“What?!” They say in unison.

“It doesn’t happen all the time, just sometimes. And we do it to each other, he doesn’t always do it to me. It just sort of happened last night, and he forgot to take his rings off so it looks worse than it is. It doesn’t hurt, I promise.”

“Who are you?!” Erica asks. “You like that sort of thing?”

“It’s really not that weird, a lot of people do it.” Harry comes back in to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, this is such a weird conversation. I don’t think we need to explain what goes on between us. Like she said, no one’s gettin’ hurt.”

“It doesn’t trigger you?” She asks.

“No.” You look over at Kyle who looks like he’s trying not to laugh. You both burst out laughing.

“You know what, I don’t care what the fuck you two do.” Kyle says. “Just glad you’re not beating on my sister.” Kyle says and walks out of the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go see if anyone needs anything.” Harry says and leaves again.

“You know, you could’ve just asked me instead of confronting him.”

“I panicked! I feel like I don’t even know you sometimes.” She sighs.

“Erica, we’re two very different people. I’m sure there are things you do with your boyfriend…”

“How does that even come up? Like, hey babe let’s try choking each other.” You can’t help but giggle.

“It’s a heat of the moment type of thing. We talk through it, make sure the other is okay.”

“And you do it to him too?”

“Yup.”

“Jesus.”

“We like what we like, and that’s okay.” You put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t like it? Don’t have someone choke you.” She rolls her eyes at you and you both laugh.

Luckily, that was the only hitch in the party. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. There was plenty of food, and plenty to drink. Eventually your family starts to trickle out and it ends up just being the core eight of you. You were all sitting on the floor in a circle.

“Hey! Let’s play truth or dare or something.” Sarah suggests.

“Do we have a bottle to use?” Rachel asks.

“A bottle?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, it keeps it fair. Put it in the middle and spin it.”

“I’ll grab one of the empty wine bottles.” You say, getting up to grab one from the kitchen.

“We did this at kickbacks all the time in school.” Sarah explains. You come back with the bottle and place it in the middle.

“Everyone have a drink?” You ask. “Good, this game’s more fun when you’re drunk…sorry El.”

“No worries, totally don’t mind bein’ sober.”

“Okay everyone, let’s keep it lighthearted.” Rachel says. “Fun truths only. And we play a little differently. It’s not really a dare. If you choose not to answer the question, you have to take a sip of your drink, or a shot.”

“We do have a bottle of tequila.” Harry says. “Should I just get that and we can take turns swiggin’ from it?”

“Think that’s brilliant, mate.” Louis says. Harry gets up and gets the alcohol.

“Y/N, you spin first.” Mariah says.

You tip the bottle on its side and spin it, it lands on Rachel and you smile.

“Okay, Rach, tell the story of your first kiss.” She raises her middle finger to you.

“Fine. I was twelve, it was at summer camp, and it was with a boy named Joel. We both had braces and they got locked together, so we had to walk all the way to the medical tent like idiots, and wait for the nurse to try to figure out how to get us unstuck.” The group laughs.

“When was your first kiss with a girl?” Niall asks.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s not your turn yet.” She says with a smirk. She spins the bottle and it lands on Louis. “Hmmm.” She taps her chin to think of something. Harry leans over to her and whispers in her ear.

“Oi! No helpin’.”

Rachel giggles and Harry leans back to his spot.

“Louis, where is your most embarrassing tattoo located?”

Louis flips off Harry and takes a swig of the tequila. Louis spins the bottle and it lands on Sarah.

“Did you hook up with Niall the night you met?” Her jaw drops.

“That’s no secret, of course I did.” She looks at him. “Couldn’t resist.” She looks back at everyone else. “He was so charming, and such a good dancer.”

She spins the bottle and it lands on you.

“Alright, there’s a question I’ve been dying to ask since I got here.” She giggles. “What’s with all the makeup on your neck?”

You look at Harry, then the bottle of tequila. You grab it and take a swig. You were not having this conversation again. The group makes a noise and everyone laughs. You spin the bottle and it lands on Niall.

“Have you ever ripped your pants in public?”

“You suck.” He groans. “Yes, at last year’s work holiday party, I ripped my pants on the dance floor.” Everyone laughs. “I dropped it low and my pants split.” Harry bursts out laughing. “Least my pants didn’t rip so bad that my underwear ripped too and my dick popped out.” Harry shuts up immediately and Louis starts laughing.

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask.

“S’not my turn.”

Niall takes the bottle and points it towards Harry.

“Elaborate.”

“Cheatin’.”

“Tell the story.”

“Oh my god, we were havin’ a party, was it undergrad or grad?” He looks at Louis.

“I can’t fuckin’ remember.” He laughs.

“Right, well, I was wearin’ a tight pair of black jeans and I opted to go commando, don’t ask me why, so no my boxer’s didn’t rip. I think I squatted and my pants ripped open and everything just fell out.” He starts laughing. “It was pretty funny, I’m just glad we were at our own place so I could change.”

“Did everyone see?”

“Just Lou and Niall.” Harry takes the bottle and spins it. It lands on Mariah.

“Oh god.”

“Did you ever have sex in the office at Plant Geo?” She glares at him and takes a swig of the tequila.

“You’re evil.”

As the rounds go on, everyone, besides Eleanor, gets pretty drunk.  The bottle lands on you again.

“Okay,” Rachel asks. “Talk about your first kiss.” You scrunch your nose.

“I was fourteen, and it was at the freshman/sophomore semi. I was nervous all night because it was also my first date. I asked him to go with me through a note.” You laugh. “It was during Stairway to Heaven, naturally. I remember we both looked each other, smiled, and Erica had told me before we left that I should never let a boy shove his tongue down my throat, so when I looked right before we made eye-contact and saw the tip of his tongue peak out, I made sure my lips were super tight. It was essentially a lip touch.” You laugh again. “And that was it, and we kept dancing.”

“That’s so cute!” Harry slurs.

“Can we just tell cute stories and take turns drinking the tequila?” Rachel asks.

“Oh, I think that’s a great idea.”

Everyone else tells the story of their first kiss, and then it gets to Harry.

“Took her out to this park, and we went behind a tree. It was pretty steamy.” Everyone laughs.

When it starts to get really late, everyone decides to call it a night. Louis and Eleanor were staying over with you guys.

“So.” You hiccup. “Everything you should need is in the bathroom. Help yourself to anything in the fridge if you get hungry, and we’ll see you in the morning. Oh, Buster shouldn’t bother you either, he usually stays in his bed all night.”

“Thanks again.” Eleanor says. “Goodnight.”

“Night, mate.” Harry says to Louis.

“Night.” He smiles.

The two of you go into your room. You wash your face and neck. The bruises were starting to fade. You get into bed with him, and kiss for a bit. He moves his leg between yours.

“Harry.” You whisper.

“What?”

“We have guests.”

“And?”

“We can’t.”

“C’mon, I’ve been dyin’ to get in there all day. They won’t hear anythin’.”

“I don’t like having to be quiet.”

“Y/N.” He whines.

“Okay fine, but we have to stay on our sides the bed won’t creak as much.”

You flip over so your back is against his chest. He slips in effortlessly.

“You’re such a little liar, you were already wet.” He says into your ear.

“You looked so sexy today, I’m sure I’ve been wet for a while.”

He starts to rock in and out of you, his hand rubbing your clit and his other on your breast, twisting your piercing. You gasp and bite down on your palm.

“You feel so fuckin’ good.” He says into your ear, and you feel tears prick at your eyes from the pleasure. “Always so tight and wet f’me.” You groan as he drive in deeper. “Ever been so wet for someone before?” You groan your response. “Use your words, babe.”

“No, never. Only, fuck, only you.”

You start panting and push back against him, you cup your mouth over your hand as you come and his release comes shortly after. You feel his breath on the back of your neck as his breathing slows back down.

//

The next morning Harry gets up to take Buster out. Louis was in the kitchen making himself a coffee.

“Hey mate, sleep well?” Harry asks coming back with Buster.

“Yeah, bed’s super comfy. El’s still sleepin’.”

“So is Y/N, she’s real tired.” Harry winks at him.

“You slept with her while we were in the next room?”

“Uh…yeah?”

“Must be nice.”

“You and El aren’t…”

“Not in a while. She’s felt…not so attractive now that her bump’s growing. Everything else is growin’ too so she just feels gross. I think she looks fantastic, but she’s super emotional from the hormones.”

“Aw man, that sucks. I’m sorry.”

“She rarely let’s me touch her. I’m hopin’ once she levels out a bit she’ll feel more up to it.”

“I thought pregnant women were like always horny.”

“So did I…” He laughs. “Maybe that’ll come in the third trimester.”

“I’ll prey for you.” He makes himself a cup of coffee. “There was like two weeks once where Y/N went without doin’ it and I thought I was going to explode.”

“Two weeks? Try two months and then talk to me.”

“Two months?!”

“Shhh, do you wanna wake them up?”

“Sorry, two months?”

“Yeah, I told yeh, she’s not feelin’ great. I’ve tried everything. She’s just starting to let me cuddle her again. I’m not pushin’ it.”

“I literally don’t know how I would survive.”

“How you’d survive what?” You say coming into the kitchen with your robe on and some pj’s underneath. “Morning, Lou.”

“Mornin’, love.” You smile at each other and you go to make yourself some coffee.

“Where’s my baby?”

“I’m-“

“There he is, good morning Buster.” You rub his tummy as your coffee brews. “So, what would you need to survive?”

“Nothin’.” Harry smiles at you and kisses the top of you head.

“Where’s El?”

“Sleepin’ still…she’s been really tired lately. I’m actually gonna bring her tea into her.” He walks out of the kitchen and back to the guest room.

“This is so nice for you two, three weekends in a row you get to hang out.”

“Yeah, it’s great. I’m glad they stayed with us.”

“Me too.” You yawn. You warp your arms around his waist. “You okay?”

“Yeah, perfectly fine.” He smiles.

Harry was not fine. He was suddenly terrified. He needed the camping’ trip stat. Two entire months of no contact? What if that happened to him and you when you get pregnant? Had he spent most of his adult life romanticizing the entire thing?

[randomfandomfamily]

Heyo! I finally got the brain cell working. I couldn’t stop thinking about the aftermath of the fight with Robotnik and how Sonic kinda trailed after Maddie and Tom... there’s no way they let him go back to his cave as beat up as he was, right?

Yeah, I don’t think so either.

Maddie was exhausted. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, worrying over her wanted criminal of a husband. Then there was the hedgehog from space, the crazy doctor with the robots, and she had been pushed off a roof. Suffice to say, it’d been a crazy twenty-four hours.

But it occurred to her as they were walking away from the scene of the battle, that her poor husband was probably three times as tired as she was. He’d been running from the government for nearly two days now. There was no telling that whack-job of a scientist had hit him with. If the state of his truck was anything to go on, it wasn’t pretty.

She paused. There were footsteps behind them a few seconds ago.

Tom seemed to notice too. “Where did…” They spotted Sonic a little ways back, falling behind. “You okay, kid?”

“All good, Donut Lord!” Sonic straightened a bit and smiled. “You guys go ahead, I’m just gonna head home.”

“Home?” Maddie asked. “You have… where is home?” Sonic made a vague gesture towards the woods. “You live in the woods?”

Sonic laughed a bit. “You say that like you were expecting something differe-” His laughter collapsed into a coughing fit.

Tom started towards him. “Sonic?” Maddie wasn’t far behind, not missing the panic laced in her husband’s voice.

He waved Tom off. “Fine! I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Maddie shook her head. “You are not fine.” Oh geez, how could she forget the kid? Tom may be more exhausted than she was, but Sonic had been zipping around nonstop. He’d almost died ten minutes before. Not to mention the massive amount of energy he just put out. “No way you’re going in the woods in your condition.”

She highly doubted he’d make it to wherever ‘home’ was before passing out from exhaustion. Not to mention the possible concussion. There were definitely going to be some cuts and bruises, most likely some burns as well. Once the adrenaline wore off, everything was going to start hurting like a bitch.

Sonic blinked. “Um. But my cave is in the woods. So I kinda have to… go in the woods?”

“Nope.”

“Pretzel Lady, I think you’re misunderstanding the concept of ‘going home’.” Sonic narrowed his eyes at her. “You didn’t hit your head when I pushed off that building, did you?”

Tom rolled his eyes. “I think she wants you to come home with us, kid.”

Sonic tilted his head. “Uh… why?”

“Because I’m a doctor and I say so.”

“But-”

“Nuh-uh,” Maddie interrupted. “You’ve been knocked unconscious by two explosions. No way in hell you’re going anywhere by yourself.”

“Three explosions, actually.” Sonic noticed the look on their faces. “It wasn’t for very long! Robotnik knocked me off the side of the building and I blacked out for a just a split second. Not a big deal.”

Big deal. Very big deal. “I’ve just decided I don’t want you walking.” Sonic spluttered in protest. “Look, either I’m carrying you or Tom is, and you don’t get a say.”

“Hang on-”

Maddie ignored him. “You know what? Tom’s not in any condition to carry you.” She scooped Sonic up and started walking again.

Tom looped an arm over her shoulder. “I’m not in any condition to carry him, huh?”

“You have to listen to me too,” Maddie said sternly. “I may be a doctor for animals, but I’m also your wife.”

“And what’s your advice?” Tom asked. “As my wife, and not a vet.”

“Sleep,” Maddie said, “Right after we get our little alien friend patched up.”

Sonic shifted in her arms. “Little alien friend is still here. And he still wants down.”

Maddie carefully tightened her grip around him, not wanting to agitate any injuries but also not wanting him to try and jump down. “Little alien friend is gonna have to deal.” Sonic huffed. “The house isn’t that far. You’ll survive.”

True to her word, the walk only lasted about fifteen minutes or so. Fifteen minutes filled with banter between Sonic and Tom, but Maddie didn’t miss the occasional wince. The injuries were starting to catch up with him, just like she thought they would.

Tom opened the door for her when they got to the house. “Should probably warn you that the kitchen is a little… messy?”

“A little messy?” Maddie asked as she walked in. “I feel like you’re lying to me.”

“He’s totally lying,” Sonic said, “Kitchen’s kinda destroyed.”

Maddie peered into the kitchen and sighed. She was too tired to be angry. She’d ask about what happened in the morning. “We’ll deal with it later. Tom? Can you get my first aid kit? We’ll meet you in the bathroom.”

Sonic squinted against the light when Maddie flipped the light switch. “Oh wow, that is bright.”

She set him on the counter next to the sink. “So. Anything in particular that hurts?”

He scrubbed at his eyes. “Uh, my eyes?”

Maddie laughed. “Aside from that.”

Lifting his head and blinking, Sonic said, “Not really.” He smiled in relief. “Okay, that’s better.”

“Eyes adjusted?” Maddie studied his pupils carefully. They had both adjusted quickly, so there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with them. “How’s your head?”

“It’s fine.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Without her equipment, she couldn’t make an official assessment, but she could get the basics down. “We’re gonna check to make sure you don’t have a concussion, okay? Try touching your nose.”

Sonic looked confused, but he did it. “What does this do, exactly?”

“Tests your coordination,” Maddie answered. “We’re testing your memory next, just to make sure. Do you remember what Crazy Carl calls you?”

“Sure, Blue Devil.”

“And how did you first meet Tom?” That one was more for her own curiosity. She knew Tom had shot him with her tranquilizer, but it didn’t hurt to confirm.

Sonic hesitated. “Like, when did I first see him or when did we first talk?”

“When you first talked.”

“He shot me with a… something. Tranquilizer, I think.” He tapped a spot in his leg. “Sucked, but I woke up. I mean, I was in a cage, but I was awake.”

Maddie raised an eyebrow. “A cage?”

“Yeah. I got out though. I don’t think Donut Lord realized I could do that.”

She considered his size. “Sounds like you woke up pretty fast. That’s interesting.”

“Why?”

“Because it was a tranquilizer for bears,” Maddie said.

Tom walked into the bathroom with the first-aid kit. “Is he telling you about the tranquilizer? You’re never gonna let that one go, are you?”

“You shot him,” Maddie said, “He doesn’t have to ‘let go’ of anything.” She took the first-aid kit and opened it up. “Given your size, the amount of sedatives should have put you down for several hours.” She decided to leave out the part where it possibly could have killed him. “I guess it just worked through your system really fast. Do you have a high metabolism?”

“A what now?”

“Are you hungry a lot?” Tom clarified.

Sonic gave them a one-arm shrug. “I guess so?” Maddie took the arm he shrugged with and started looking it over. Bruising was hard to check for, but there were a few scratches. Those would heal on their own in no time.

Then she reached for his other arm, and he recoiled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Sonic said quickly.

Tom snorted. “Try again.”

Sonic gave him a brief glare. “Okay, fine, it’s just… kinda hurts to move my arm. A little. It’s not that bad.”

“Hurts where?”

“I said it’s-”

“Sonic,” Maddie interrupted firmly.

He opened his mouth to protest, then stopped himself. “My shoulder,” he muttered.

Maddie turned Sonic so she could look at his shoulder. She hadn’t noticed it because it was dark outside, but in the bright light of the bathroom, she could see the gash. Not deep enough to need stitches, thankfully, but they’d have to keep an eye on it.

That wasn’t all. She also caught a glimpse of his back. Glancing in the mirror allowed her to see the rest. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it’d be, but there were definitely some burns.

She crossed her arms. “So when I asked if anything was hurting…” Sonic glanced away. “Anything else?”

Sonic shifted under Maddie’s disapproving stare. “Look, everything is faster for me than it is for you, okay? This is gonna heal up super duper quick and it’ll be fine.”

“That’s not the point,” Tom said. “You have to be honest so that we can help.”

“So you can…” Sonic paused. “Right… help. Okay.” He met Maddie’s gaze. “My shoulder is… that’s probably a cut, right? I think my back is burned… and my leg hurts, but not really bad, just a little.”

Tom patted Sonic on the shoulder that wasn’t injured. “See? It wasn’t that hard, was it?”

“Yeah, it was that hard,” Sonic said. “Still kinda new to the help thing. I’m used to just... letting things heal up on their own. They always do eventually.”

Maddie had several questions about that statement, but she decided to ignore them. “Tom, can you hand me a washrag? I’m gonna try and get some of this blood cleaned up.”

Sonic tried twisting his arm around to look at his shoulder. “How bad is it?”

“I’ve seen worse.” Maddie turned on some warm water and let it run over the rag. “But it’s still not gonna feel very good while I do this.” She wrung out the rag, but left the warm water running.

She knew from experience how hard it was to wash dried blood out of fur, but luckily the wound was pretty fresh, most likely from the last explosion that landed him in Green Hills, so it was pretty easy to rinse off.

“You okay, bud?” Tom asked.

Sonic set his jaw. “Yep.”

Neither of them believed him.

Maddie ran the rag under the water again. “Okay, I’m gonna try and clean up some of these burns now.” She gently pressed the rag against his back and he hissed in pain. “Are you okay?”

“M’fine,” Sonic muttered.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Tom told him.

“I’m totally fine,” Sonic repeated insistently. “It doesn’t even hurt that ba-haaaaad.”

Maddie pulled away. “That sounded a little not totally fine.”

Sonic’s hands curled into fists. “I’m fine, Pretzel Lady. It’s all good.” His gaze darted to Tom. “Why aren’t you helping him? I wasn’t the only one who got hurt.”

“Nice try,” Tom said. “The most I got is a few scratches and some bruises, and I can take care of those myself.”

Maddie set the rag to the side and turned off the water. “Alright, enough. Sonic, how fast do you think this will heal?”

There was a pause. “I mean… a week, maybe? Or two?”

She nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay, that’s not too bad. No concussion, no stitches, all the burns are first degree… think we’ll put some antibiotic on those, wrap them up just in case, and check on them tomorrow.”

“So… I can… come back tomorrow?” Sonic asked as Maddie pulled the antibiotic from her first-aid kit.

“Come back? No. You’re not leaving.” Maddie gently spread the antibiotic over the cut on his shoulder and the worst of his burns. “I know you’re probably anxious to get back to… wherever you live, but I seriously don’t want you speeding around the woods at night. You’re too tired and way too banged-up.”

“And,” Tom added, “You can’t change her mind. So you’re stuck here until further notice.”

Maddie couldn’t quite place the look on Sonic’s face. He looked like he wanted to protest, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. She had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t entirely opposed to staying the night.

She put the antibiotic away and started wrapping up the injuries. “Will you be okay crashing on the couch?”

Sonic showed the barest trace of a smile. “I uh… yeah. That sounds… kinda great, actually.”

Tom clapped his hands together. “Alright. I’m gonna go find a blanket or something for the little guy while you finish up.”

“I’m not that little!” Sonic protested while Tom walked away.

“You barely reach my waist kid!” Tom shouted from the hallway. “You’re tiny!”

Maddie smiled apologetically. “Sorry kid, but he’s right. You’re pretty small for a teenager.” He muttered grumpily as she helped him down. “I’m sure you’re normal-sized for an anthropomorphic hedgehog.” Sonic made a noncommittal sound, like he wasn’t sure himself, and followed Maddie to the living room. “What? Didn’t you see people like you on your planet?”

“No,” Sonic yawned. “I lived with an owl. And I pretty much grew up on this planet, anyways.”

That raised about ten-thousand more questions that Maddie was pretty sure Sonic wouldn’t have the energy to answer.

Tom was waiting for them with a blanket. “Okay! Bedtime, dude. You seriously need to rest.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sonic said as he pulled himself up onto the couch.

“And no sneaking out,” Tom warned. “Pretzel Lady said she wanted to check on you in the morning.”

Sonic made no comment as he started to untangle the folded blanket.

“Kid, I’m serious. No running.”

“Okay, okay!” Sonic relented. “I won’t go anywhere.”

Tom looked satisfied with the answer. “Good. And now,” He turned to her, “I do believe my wife prescribed sleep?”

Maddie nodded. “I did indeed.” She gave Sonic one last glance. “Get some rest, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Sonic promised. “And um… thanks. For… you know. Everything.”

She figured there wasn’t a point in trying to convince him that he didn’t need to thank her. “You’re very welcome, Sonic.”

And then she went to bed with her husband, looking forward to sleeping after all the worrying and life-threatening danger. She was just happy that her husband was home and safe and not on the run from the government. And that the poor kid sleeping on the couch was actually sleeping on a couch, and not in the woods somewhere (or worse, trapped on some distant planet).

She briefly considered making breakfast in the morning, as a mini celebration of them not dying, until she remembered that their kitchen was in ruins.

Oh well. Maybe some other day.

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25

almost halfway done lads how we feelin'

episode 21: the red glow

ah yes barry

"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!

who just popped over the wall

scar im assuming

"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn

it was scar haha

um

hi greed

thought i saw you earlier

WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG

ope he found the chimera crew...

jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great

ed has deep philosophical talks bro

also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable

who are these prison guards gonna release

oh hey kimblee

oh hey squad

ed take out ur pokeball

um wth is that

OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT

EW

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER

he looks FUCKKEDDDD

bro of all the things i was not expecting him

oof ishval flashbacks

young scar why is your hair brown

why is it white now

WHY IS HE NAKED

whos her

lust 1.0 im assuming

ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk

idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me

wait a damn minute

wait a damn fucking minute

goddamnit

what is GOIN ON

i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head

jesus

episode 22: created human

hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high

the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?

im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21

STOP WHISPERING TUCKER

driving me up a wall

my poor son looks so tired :(

those moral principles at it again

bradley.......

ewww the way tucker walks STOP

hi envy!!!!!

so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy

hey kimblee!!!

so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....

i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong

musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on

so envy knows hohenheim

ED BABY

he won't do it

oh no alphonse

oh god memory implants

al's identity crisis CONTINUES

they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)

is ed gonna kill these guys for al

some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed

is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????

honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell

those unshakable moral principles at work again i see

the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god

oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them

maria girly!!!!!!!

THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--

who's the lady. i need 2 know.

episode 23: fullmetal heart

alphonse is destroyed again

poor kid

"edward sir" brosh pls!!!

oh excuse me--- ***Bloch

The Ross Slap™

winry <3

pinako takes no prisoners

ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes

ed's DRAWINGS im-

hi sig hi izumi!!!

al is so sad over there in that corner

poor baby son

sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads

the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!

“bean”

snappy al

ooffffffff

omg hughes plz

elicia is precious though we love her

"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska

awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!

god catch me cryin in the club

CONGRATULATIONS

"whatever" al im crying he's so sad

AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING

"you goof"

yes winry you are correct boy is a goof

sir you are being so dramatic

give that baby a hug

"so called brother"

so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed

al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW

so im crying

i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP

episode 24: bonding memories

guess we're gonna play w my emotions again

sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again

and barry for some reason

aww poor al

youre real you are!!!!!!

i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan

but what do i know

obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version

poor ed is so sad

these boys need a hug 

let me just *pulls out adoption papers*

well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy

dont lie al you do care

ew i dont like her

the drama of this boy

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2

apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me

i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom

well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom

it does look like she ran off...

al and scar dream team up

HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!

bout time

yall gonna have this talk now????

barry STOPPPPPP

brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it

damn scar you baddie

barry like....you already knew him

anyway

WHAT THE HELL

NO RICKKK!!!!!!

someone save this boy!!!!

oh good his mom “saved” him

ah damn thats pretty tragic

she didnt know they were right in front of her

ow

well my questions were answered

so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it

ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please

why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird

bye scar

we’ll see him again

see you later scar

episode 25: words of farewell

maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 

gracia please it better not have been you

mustang ew please

dont open the door lookin like that

what the hell are you doing in here 

so hughes WASNT in ishval here?

i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway

bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant

why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon

“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK

juliet douglas is this lady’s name

only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out

ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth

izumi time lets go

wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh

elicia i LOVE you!!!!!

ew kimblee “hi”

how did he lightning himself like that

if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok

okay

an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc

HUGHES AHAHAHA 

tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch

anyway

um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode

he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 

please im not ready to be hurt again

oh no

yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet

ive been waiting for this information 

he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful

yupppppp

hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later

i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead

SLOTH????????

did girly just say SLOTH

i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok

u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENVY HEYYY

DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE

haha famous last words

oof it hurts every time

not the FUNERAL scene no!

time for me to go 

peace out homies im dead inside

yes my brigadier general 

NOT THE RAIN

COME ONNNNNN

hughes is sneezing six feet under

was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost

um....right

[weedkids]

DUDE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BONE MY MOM THAT’S SO FUCKED UPPPPP

--

Kisa keeps breaking into the apartment that the weedkids share to visit her precious baby daughter <3. Emi's normal here, so she doesn't want this. She's been avoiding her insane mom the best she can. Because she's insane.

Wei comes back home from work one day and Kisa's there. She goes, "Oh, you're not Emi. You know when she’s coming in?"

Wei: "Idk in a few hours maybe"

Kisa: "oooh darn!! Just HOW are we gonna keep ourselves occupied in the meantime!!"

Wei: “....”

--

So yeah. She’s like, “hey girl wanna bone” and Wei is like “.....k sure”

She’s hot. So why not.

--

Wei's thinkin to himself "fuck fuck i'm gonna die but this isn't a bad way to go lol"

—

Emi walks in once seeing Kisa and Wei sharing a pizza and she thinks "damn that's kinda weird" but she's tired and she grabs a slice and goes into her room.

—

Emi gets a text from Wei. "Kisa's here. asked when ur coming home today"

Emi: "Oh thanks for letting me know. ig if she's there rn, i'll take my time getting over there I'll be back at 8p. Hopefully she gets bored and leaves. "

Wei: "k"

Then Wei turns to Kisa like 👌 "We got til 8." And they get 2 work.

But. Like, even though this text was really intended to Make Fucking Her Mom More Convenient, it's not like Emi's able to pick up Intentions from text. So she's like "huh.. Wei warned me about my mom being there.. that was pretty nice of him." (Wei gets a point in her book)

—

Emi starts treating him a little better bc he seems to understand her situation. Which, in turn, warms Wei up to her bc honestly all you really need to do to get on this guy’s good side is to be persistently nice to him.

As their relationship improves, Wei’s starting to think that maybe this is something he shouldn’t do, but then Kisa swings over like “Yahoo!! Today I’m not wearing panties lol” and his brain turns off. Clothes on the floor.

But after a certain point, Wei and Emi are on pretty good terms with each other, even though they’re not close. He didn’t care about Emi’s opinion before, but now that she’s kind of a friend (?), Wei’s paltry conscience is like ok fuck she can never know I fucked her mom

He takes to leaving the apartment whenever Kisa is there so that her coochie’s siren call doesn’t trap him. He gets pretty bored outside, so he explores the city a lot during this time. He ends up finding a lot of new places to take his friends to for hangouts, which adds more friendship points in this whole gang lol

Then Emi finds out a few years later and it ruins her whole brain. But by then it’s too late. They’re besties ^___^

—

Emi (distressed)(furious): wei u fucked the joker did u know that did u fucking know you fucked the joker back then

—

Kisa is horrifyingly too honest about her life, but it took her so long to spill the beans because Emi begged her to stop chattering about her sex life with no filter.

Kisa was running late to her visit to the apartment (though she technically can't be "late" if this visit was never planned in the first place? Emi didn’t know she's coming over)

and she was all like "HI EMIIII SOOOORRRYYYYY;;;;; I was really really busy ***[redacted. describing all sorts of nastyass shit, probably.]*** and then we just haaaaad to ***[redacted again]***... but i'm here now!!!! 💖 "

and Emi's just,, "god. god. god. god. mom. please dont tell me shit like this ever again please. god. God."

Kisa pouts but she tries (tries. lol.) to respect this!

A few years later, everybody’s moved out of that apartment and gone their separate ways. Emi’s in Boston for a school program. It’s goddamn cold here. It’s also her birthday. She’s got a fun day planned with her pals. Unfortunately, Kisa also decides to drop by to celebrate with her baby ^___^

She spots Wei's name in Emi's contacts (looking over her shoulder @ her phone without permission) and sees the little pic of him in the contact photo with some stupid snapchat filter on his face. “ooo u still talk to that girl? I remember him. His hole was pretty alright.”

Emi’s like, “What.”

Kisa's like, "Oh? I thought you didn't want me to tell about this stuff? Did you change your mind?" (Emi is speechless. It feels like she's about to fall in through the earth's crust)(Kisa starts rattling on about how when it was just the two of them and it'd take a while for anyone else to come home, she'd kill time with him by just fucking like crazy) (Emi hears only static)

Kisa’s like "I was soooo bored waiting for you!!! What else could I have done??" and Emi's like "I DON'T KNOW???? A FUCKING CROSSWORD PUZZLE OR SOMETHING? LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE???"

Emi is so betrayed. She’s never been so thoroughly betrayed in her life. So she gets utterly sloshed.

Later, Wei wakes up to his phone ringing. It’s 4am. Bleary eyed, he accepts the call. If Emi’s trying to contact him at this hour, it’s probably important. He immediately regrets it.

[ghosty-goos-hub]

//does this little drabble really do anything? not really. but i felt like writing this little scene lol. this is when benny joins the community theatre club and serena, olive, and taylor are on the community kids hockey team

“C’mooooooon, Serena, seriously!” Benny whined from the entryway of the community center. He rocked in place, staring out the window at the cold December rain.  The twelve-year-old just haaaaad to be in charge of his little cousin.  “Abby’s waiting!  And Olive and Taylor are already in the car!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Serena ran down the hall shouting, ice skates tossed over shoulder and hockey stick hitting her knees.  Time management was never her strong suit, evident by her untied shoelaces smacking the floor and flying wherever they pleased.  One of those strings ended up underfoot, and suddenly Serena cried out, crashing to the floor.

“Nina!”  Benny ran over and slid to his knees in front of the girl.

“Owwww!” When he helped her sit up, the girl’s face was red from impact and her flustered blush.  Tears poured down her face, and Benny had to admit it was hard to see.

“You okay-“

“Nina!” came another voice.  Benny rolled his eyes and got up, knowing what was coming.  His friend Alex slid right into place where he’d been just a moment before.  “Oh my gosh, are you okay!?”

“I-I’m okay, Alex…” Serena said.  She hiccupped and wiped her face.

“That was a nasty fall…maybe next time you should get a big, strong guy to help you carry all your stuff, princess!”

Benny could have rolled his eyes right out of his skull.  Everyone wanted to be her hero.  This got old so quickly.  Everyone, human or monster, couldn’t resist Serena and couldn’t help but try to be her savior.  It made no sense to Benny, instead just irritating him since they couldn’t do anything without her fanclub interrupting.

Serena snickered, though.  She typically stayed unaware of just how tightly everyone was wrapped around her finger, but that didn’t mean she didn’t use that to her advantage.  “Maybe you can tie my shoes instead…”  She unfolded her legs from under herself and presented her shoes.  Alex beamed and got to work, tying perfect bows for the girl.

“There you go, all better!”

“Thank you, Alex, you’re the best!” Serena giggled.  Both kids got to their feet, and Serena finally noticed the irritated look on Benny’s face.  “Um…I’ll see you later, okay?  Bye!” She picked up her stuff and dashed out the door after giving Alex a hug.

Alex turned toward Benny, the lovey daze on his face prominent.  “You’re so lucky, man, to live with her!”

“Yeah, soooo lucky…” Benny grumbled.  He made his way outside, only to see the process being repeated on the sidewalk.  How could someone so graceful and intelligent be so clumsy and awkward?  At this rate, they would get to the car by the new year.

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 28

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Chapter 28 - A Worthy Leader

Rex couldn’t bear to see his own daughter kill the love of his life. All the memories he and Weevil had forged with their daughter over the past few months would end with Weevil’s imminent death.“Amber… Weevil…” he continued to cry in his hands, still unprepared for the inevitable. “Why did… Eh?”

The dino duelist peered through his fingers to see Amber’s arrow not only sticking from the ground, but Weevil still breathing. The magical bonds the Magician Girls placed upon Weevil lay next to Weevil in a raggedy heap.

“She… She shot at his ankle bonds!” Amber’s archery skills impressed Téa.

“It’s not possible!” Chocolate Magician Girl couldn’t believe it. “That binding was blessed by the High Priest Mahad himself!”

As Weevil stood up, still silent, Amber commanded, “Go, now, before someone in this room tries to kill you.”

Weevil left without even a nod, but Amber swore she saw a hint of gratitude in those forlorn eyes.

“What the fuck, Amber? Do you realize what you’ve just done?! ” Phuckdis clearly didn’t like this turn of events; nor did several disgruntled soldiers. Displeased with Amber’s lack of confidence and leadership, they left to join Domino’s Finest.

“Yeah! Now he’s probably off to join the other Earthbound Gods!” William added, kicking a small desk and sending it flying. “You had one job, Amber. ONE FUCKING JOB!”

It was then that Rex finally had the strength to stand on his feet. He walked up to his daughter and placed two hands on her shoulders. “Amber…”

“Papa!” Amber cried into Rex’s shoulders. “Gods damn me, I couldn’t do it! I love Daddy too much!”

“And thanks to your ineptitude, we’re all going to die.” Phuckdis rolled his eyes. “You had the one evil god that caused our destruction before you, and you could have ended it with a single damned arrow. But nooooo, your love for your daddy dear haaaaad to get in the way!”

“You’re not helping, you bastard!” Rex half-shifted, swiping at Phuckdis’ face with a rabbit paw to silence him.

Several minor scuffles amongst the Club’s soldiers broke out, adding further to Phuckdis’ worries. His army was falling apart before his very eyes as was his hope for saving his future from ruin. He started to think that he should have remained in the future, where he could receive a quick death, instead of painfully waiting for it to come. The rabbit claw slash Rex inflicted upon him was nothing compared to his helplessness. “We’re doomed… Dear gods, we are doomed.”

“Th-That’s not true…” Rex began to lose hope too, but loved Amber too much to dishearten her with more discouraging words.

“No, he’s right. Thanks to my choice, not only is my future going to come true after all, but now we’ve lost a good deal of soldiers. Either way… I lose. I’m destined to suffer, and I deserve it.” Amber clenched her fists, putting a halt to the infighting going on between the Club members. “I’m a sorry excuse of a leader. If my baby brother Francis were still alive, he would do a much better job.”

“Come on, I’m sure your daddy and I didn’t raise you this way.” Rex caressed Amber’s face as he tried to cheer her up. “What happened to my cheerful insect duelist? The one who’s so full of spunk and energy?”

“B-But… But what can we do against evil gods and their armies?”

“...” Phuckdis felt sorry for what he said, and had to think of a proper way to “apologize.” “I have an idea. It will be a lot harder than simply killing Weevil, but… Perhaps if we kill the other Earthbound Gods, their influence over Weevil will cease to be.”

“Ooh!” Tristan liked this idea. “I think that guy who nearly killed Joey is the really scary one. If we can get rid of him… ”

“Not bad, Tristan.” Duke chuckled. “I never thought I’d hear you say something smart.”

“Come to think of it, Daddy was always sweet in my future. But then he was abducted by a giant crimson snake monster, and just wasn’t the same ever again.”

“You see, sweetie?” Rex smiled at Amber, stilling her trembling with a hug. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“It’s not going to be easy, though…” William remarked. “We still don’t even know where their hideout is. And we’re talking about killing seven omnipotent gods, never mind their lackeys that we’ll inevitably fight along the way.”

“It’s in the theatre building,” Rex replied. “I know, I was taken there.”

“Be that as it may, we cannot start a full-scale war on the grounds of this university,” Phuckdis proclaimed. “It’s best if we take down each Earthbound God one by one, not only to minimize our own losses, but also to avoid as much damage to Domino City as possible.”

“Then we need to keep an eye out for where each of Domino’s Finest officers goes during their spare time, and corner them with the army one by one.” Amber spoke seriously, unlike her uncertain tone from before. “We have one advantage over them, and that’s sheer numbers. I propose that seven of us get assigned one officer to spy on.”

“That’s an awesome idea!” Apple Magician Girl raised her staff in approval. 

“All in favour say ‘aye!’” Blackwing - Blizzard the Far North’s idea spurred a round of “ayes.”

“Guys… Even after my failings, you still see me as a worthy leader?”

A Chocolate Magician Girl flew up to Amber. “You’re pretty, strong, and smart, and will do anything for your family. What more could we ask for?”

“I… I don’t deserve you guys. “Amber cried tears of gratitude.

Phuckdis patted Amber’s back in apology. “It was wrong of me to ask you to kill your own father, Lady Amber… If you never forgive me, I understand. And we really didn’t lose as many as you think. With an army of our size, there’s bound to be a few who disagree with you.”

“I’m sorry, too,” William admitted. “No matter the circumstances, it was wrong for me to lash out at you like that.”

“My daughter…” Rex hugged Amber with one arm. “We really will save your father this time. This army couldn’t ask for a more capable, talented, and smarter leader.”

“Papa… Thank you for giving me my confidence back.”

“No problem. You’re the one who- Ah…” A strong, painful contraction suddenly hit Rex, ending the light mood in the room as quickly as it began.

“What’s wrong?” Amber started to panic when Rex curled up into a ball.

“Cramping… It… hurts…” Rex cried as his gut felt like it was being run through a vice-grip. He felt like he had an enormous amount of gas that wouldn’t come out, no matter how hard he tried.

Mai looked worried. “I think he’s going into labour!”

“But… He’s still two months early!” Phuckdis exclaimed as the army ran amuck. “Damn that Watda! He did this!”

“If something happens to Lady Amber, I’ll kill him myself!” William proclaimed.

“Panicking about it isn’t going to solve anything! We need to do something!” Joey hoisted Rex onto his back. “I’m taking him to the on-campus doctor!”

“Then… I guess the meeting is over?” Phuckdis laughed halfheartedly.

“Haha…” Joey ran up to the stairs, as the elevators were either under maintenance, or full.

“It’s really mean to be laughing at someone who’s in pain, ya bozo. Ggh…” Rex groaned.

“I’m just thinking of how Tristan and I took turns carrying you after you lost your soul to the Orichalcos.”

“I don’t think this is the time to be reminiscing about dark shit, Joey!” 

“Sorry, sorry… I just thought I’d lighten the mood. I wanted to apologize for that time and help you out, you know?” Joey switched Rex to a princess-style carry and looked him tenderly in the eyes. “That’s what bros are for, Rexy.”

“‘Bros…?’” With just that one word, any remaining hate Rex might have had for this once-bitter rival had dissipated. Looking at how far he had come in his relationships with Espa and Mokuba, it did his heart good to see an even bigger change with Joey. Such heartwarming thoughts were almost enough to numb the pain of early labour. “Aye, I could go for that.”

He continued to smile as Joey presented him before Dr. Balls. “Oh my gods, what happened to him?” Dr. Balls sounded exasperated.

“He got-”

“Never mind, you can explain later!” Two of Dr. Balls’ nurses swiftly brought a stretcher over. “We’ll take a look at him.”

“Rex…” Joey paced around.

Amber called her grandparents. “Grandma, come quick! Something bad happened to Papa!” When she completed that phone call, Amber paced around as well until she noticed Joey’s presence. “...You.”

“Look, Amber, I know what you’re going to say.” Joey ran a nervous hand through his puffy blond hair. “‘You shouldn’t have touched Papa.’ But I couldn’t just leave Rex there, writhing in pain.”

“...Humph. Even I know to give gratitude when and where it is due. Dr. Balls came out of the E.R. thirty minutes later. “Doc, how is he?”

“Come this way.” Dr. Balls led Joey and Amber to Rex’s room. “He experienced Braxton Hicks contractions, not true labour. Although from how he acted, they were unusually intense… It’s strange to me.”

“It’s because he was captured and tortured last week,” Joey remarked, trying not to mention anything about the Earthbound Gods. “And, uh… Yeah, we filed a police report. We still don’t know who did this to him.”

“It’s a miracle, then, that the both of them are going to be okay. However, he will need to remain wheelchair-bound for a few weeks to recuperate from the damage he suffered. I’ll leave you guys be, then, and come back once his parents get here.”

“...” Amber’s eyes darted around the room, and she hoped her grandparents would arrive soon. She fumbled with the light switch, the medical supplies, the random pamphlets on diabetes and other diseases. Anything to distract her from the man that caused both of her parents immense suffering. She even thought about faking sudden illness just to get out of there. Just her luck she was as healthy and happy as a clam.

Joey knew Amber wouldn’t say a word to him, but he didn’t like the silence in the room. “So… uh… Before all the crazy stuff happened, what was your future like?”

“What?” Amber raised an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?”

“I’m just curious… Well… Don’t feel like you have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Joey looked back at Rex. “I can tell in your 16 years that you’ve seen and felt more pain than I have in my 20 years.”

“Trying to make small talk, eh?” To Joey’s surprise, Amber relaxed her tone of voice. “Fine, I could humour you. My life isn’t all blood and guts, you know.”

“Ah, that’s good to hear.”

“Well, to begin… Papa and Daddy were the best duelists in Domino City, and even though they were a lot nicer than they are now, they still liked to cause shenanigans. One time, when they were both done with teaching classes for the day, they went to the bathroom and wrote ‘this shit could sand wood’ on every single roll of toilet paper. At 35 years old!” Amber got more enthralled in her own tale, recalling the pranks her parents pulled off, even as fully-grown adults. “A-And another time, Papa taped a remote-controlled fart machine to the bottom of a seat of a misbehaving kid. And Daddy hid his phone in a closet, then his phone went off in class. His ringtone was the Diarrhea Song! And they never got caught! Of course, I kind of took after that myself, hehe.”

“Some duelists never change. Hahaha! And I just love how happy you are, talking about your parents that way.” Joey couldn’t bring himself to ask who he’d ultimately end up with. “But what about me? Do I… uh…”

“You were a professional duelist who would regularly donate to and volunteer at charities… when you were not spending time with your wife and kids.”

“I had a wife? Is she…”

Amber winked. “You betcha. Your oldest son was exactly like you, too - and one hell of a guitarist to boot. He was somehow even more of a flirt than those other two friends of yours! He would ‘fall madly in love’ with just about any guy who gave him a compliment… that was until one day, he fell in love for real, with a young male dancer. It turns out that that dancer happened to be my little brother.”

“My son ends up with Rex’s son? That’s… weird. But I like it.”

“Well, I for one didn’t like it when I found out they were together, and you can guess why. But…” Amber’s story quickly began to take a dark turn. “But when Daddy went berserk and started killing innocent people, you were the first one to fight back… You were the first one to die. And your son ended up dying trying to protect my brother. I had to admit that I still had disdain for you before all of that… But after seeing what you’ve been doing for Papa lately… I…”

“So you guys are friends now.”

Rex’s abrupt voice made Amber jump. “Papa! You didn’t hear any of that, did you?”

“Oh, I did. Every single word. So I become a professor, even though I’m dumb as a bag of rocks. And… It’s good to know that I’ll carry another precious life one day.”

“W-Well…”

“I know.” Joey got up and patted Amber’s shoulder. “Even after you saved my life, you still hate me. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“...You’re all right, I guess,” Amber managed. 

“I think I’ll settle for ‘all right.” Hehehehe!” Joey ruffled Amber’s hair. 

“Humph. And I’d confess to Mai soon, if I were you. Or who knows, Valon just might end up being the father of her kids instead.”

“Okay, you’ve definitely convinced me!” Joey made his signature face, creeping out Rex a bit. “When I see her next, I’m going to let her know how I feel!”

“Let who know?” Ptera spoke as she opened the door, with Tricera, Spinos, Adelaide, and Camellia behind her.

“Grandma, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping.” 

“I don’t think that seeing my son after he nearly died is considered eavesdropping!” Ptera cried as she hugged Rex. “It’s as I feared. Those monsters are trying to kill my poor baby boy!”

“Mom, I’m gonna be fine. Sheesh.”

“You better be. I would love to give you my famous ginger tea again!”

“Is that the only reason you want to have a grandson?”

“N-No!” 

As Ptera teased her son, Dr. Balls came in. “Mrs. Raptor… I regret to inform you that because the damage to Rex’s body is so extensive, he’ll need to stay in a wheelchair for three weeks. But both he and baby will be fine after that.”

“Thank you so much, Doc.” Ptera took Rex’s laptop out of his bag and shook it lightly. “And I’ll see to it that my son still gets his homework done.”

“I’m already caught up on my assignments so far.” Rex took the laptop out and placed it on the small table in front of him. He scanned his class pages and combed through every assignment, making sure that each was thoroughly filled out.

“What about your PowerPoint presentation for biology class?” Ptera raised an eyebrow. “Did you remember your Works Cited slide for that?”

“Yeah, Mom. I’m 100% positive-” Rex stopped scanning his computer when he noticed that one of his assignments for ancient history class wasn’t turned in yet - or even started. “Uuuuh, not. I haven’t even started researching for my essay for Dad’s class.”

“And when is it due?”

“Next week…?” Rex laughed sheepishly.

“ Ay, dios mío, mi hijo. ” Ptera facepalmed. “What do you need to research?”

“It’s about ancient Egypt, actually. We need to go to a museum with an ancient Egyptian exhibit, pick an artifact there, and write a 1000-word report about it.”

This assignment’s description reminded Joey of his own visit to the museum, the one in which he learned the true identity of the Millennium Puzzle’s spirit. He thought, too, of Pharaoh Atem and the War of the Dark One - a war to restore the peace of ancient Egypt. Joey spared a prayer for that peace to last, and for the well-being of his rival, Kaiba.

“Joey, you’re spacing out.” Rex looked up from his laptop. 

“Wah…?” Joey snapped back to reality. “Sorry, I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Wait, you’ve hung out with Yugi and Atem, haven’t you? You know a lot about the museum?”

“Yeah. Maybe I can help with your assignment.”

“Really?” Rex pressed the call button on his hospital bed. “Can we go now, then?”

“Right now? Are you crazy? But you’re-”

Dr. Balls came in with a wheelchair. “Actually, you’re okay to leave every so often. Just as long as you remain in this wheelchair when you’re out. And don’t spend more than two hours out there, got it?”

“Let’s gooooo!” Rex had a burst of energy, that was until his giant baby bump caused him to slump forward and nearly fall to the ground. “Fucking OW!”

“Easy man, easy… Here, I got you. Up you get.” Joey helped Rex into the wheelchair.

“Joey…” Ptera couldn’t believe that the man who beat her son - twice - with no relent could be so kind to him. “Are you sure you want to do this? I’m sure you’ve got duels to win… Other poor mother’s sons to pummel…”

“Mrs. Raptor.” Joey looked at Ptera sincerely before he turned to leave the room. “I know I have hurt you and your son. I might not be able to earn your forgiveness, but that’s not going to stop me from wanting to do right by him.”

“Oh…” For the briefest second, Ptera’s expression went blank.

“Mrs. Raptor?

“Ah, you’re too serious sometimes.” Ptera patted Joey on the shoulder. “It’s okay to be a chucklehead like Rex, you know.”

“Hey, I don’t want him to be like me! ...Wait, who you callin’ a chucklehead?”

“Come on, Rex, go do your homework.” Ptera waved off Joey, cuing him to take Rex out of the building.

Rex turned to Amber while the trio made their not-so-far trip. “Say, Amber, you’ve done the essay, haven’t you? Can’t I just copy yours and change the words a little bit?

“How ass-backwards is that? You should be the one helping me!” Amber stuck her tongue out. “What a role model of a mother you are!”

“Pfft…” Joey stopped right after they entered the museum.

“Oh, put a sock in it.” Amber smacked Joey in the middle of the back.

“Oww, sorry, sorry! It’s just…” Joey stopped laughing all of a sudden. “The last time I saw my mother was right before my sister’s eye operation, about three years ago. And I don’t even remember the last time I saw my father. I just… wish I could have been as close-knit with them as you guys are.”

“Joey?” Rex turned his head around. “You cryin’, man?”

“N-No!” Joey tried to deny it, as he had not cried since his loss to Siegfried at KC Grand Prix. 

“Um…” Not knowing what else to do, Amber reluctantly patted Joey on the back. “Well, uh… For what it’s worth, you’ve got your sister, and us. And your dueling skills!”

“ Especially the dueling skills,” Rex noted with a groan as they moved to a much longer corridor. “I swear, you must have dueled every schmuck in Domino City.”

“Yeah… I just wish I could have dueled Atem one more time.” Joey never thought he would have uttered the name of the pharaoh again. He never would have thought the memories of his quest to truly earn Red-Eyes Black Dragon back would re-enter his mind, and his desire to defeat Atem in order to attain that goal. Entering the ancient Egyptian exhibit in which he learned of the pharaoh’s true identity brought even more nostalgia. “That reminds me. Rex, did you know that Duel Monsters originated from ancient Egypt?”

“I kind of figured it out during my duel with Bandit King Bakura.” Rex didn’t want to think of that fateful, harrowing duel - but the stone tablet that stood before him had other plans. “It’s… It’s that giant rock!”

Joey remembered the stone tablet too. Three monsters that vaguely resembled Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon, Creepy Coney, and Earthbound God Uru adorned it. “Brings back memories.”

“What kind of memories?” Amber wanted to know.

“Oh, I must have never told you in the future, then,” Rex began. “When your father and I time travelled, we had to duel this really creepy guy named Bakura. That was when we first learned that we had ancient Egyptian selves, and of Weeves’ ability to transform into an all-powerful god. We lost our souls four the fourth time… that was until Kaiba brought us back with his amazing dueling skills.”

“I would certainly have liked to meet him.” Amber looked upon the stone tablet. “He’s my cousin once-removed, you know.”

“Kaiba…” Rex reached out a hand for the glass protecting the stone tablet. “I really wish I could have dueled you again.”

No sooner had Rex’s fingertips touched the glass when he heard a voice speak in his head. Hu…

Rabbit stew…

You guys have to save Weevil from himself...

“Bakura… Kaiba… Atem… Is that you?” 

“Papa, what is it?”

“You mean… You guys didn’t hear those voices just now?”

“I didn’t hear nothin’,” spoke Joey. “Could be that you’re hallucinating because of the pregnancy.”

“Maybe… At any rate, I know what I’m going to do my essay on. In fact, I already know a lot about this artifact! The essay is going to be a piece of cake!”

“Oh!” Amber noticed another tablet right next to it - one with a rough figure with dragon wings and a tail. “Papa, this is the one I did my report on.”

“Yeah? How come?”

“Because it reminds me a lot of a legend from my future. Our chief god is called the God-Shattering Star. He is said to be of ancient Egyptian origin and has purged the world of evil once.”

“That sounds familiar…” Rex recalled the final fight against Zorc, and it quickly registered who this god was. “It must be Kaiba!”

“Are you certain? I didn’t know he was a shifter!”

“Have I ever steered you wrong?” Rex made finger guns at Amber.

“Why, yes,” Joey quipped. 

“Ah, shaddup. I think I’ve seen enough giant rocks for today. Take me out of here so I can get on that essay, before Mom and Dr. Balls get mad at me.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” 

With that, the trio left the museum - and for Rex, he had more questions than answers.

[junker-town]

9 things to know about Florida’s horrible swamp alternate uniforms

Yes, the Gators are really dressing up like actual alligators.

Florida’s wearing some very unfortunate, alligator-colored alternate uniforms against Texas A&M on Saturday night. It’s not exactly the best way to bounce back from a one-point loss to LSU on Homecoming, but hey, you gotta try something! Anyway, here are some things to know about these, uh, things.

1. They’re pretty damn bad

OK look, I get what Florida was trying to do here — get some unique uniforms that are both new, but respecting a traditional part of the program. This didn’t accomplish either of those things.

Florida Gators

The idea behind these, per Florida specifically, was to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Steve Spurrier naming Ben Hill Griffin Stadium “The Swamp.”

Twenty-five years after Ben Hill Griffin Stadium became "The Swamp," the University of Florida football team will take the look of a Gator when they take the field on Saturday. As the only Division I school in the country named the Gators, UF and Nike officials saw a unique opportunity that has been in the works for over two years.

2. The color on these things is supposed to be “swamp green,” but...

It looks more, like, grey? Ugh, this color with the orange numbers is just terrible.

3. This is the first true alternate for Florida that isn’t orange and blue.

This. This is it. The only alternate uniform Florida should ever wear. Full stop. End of discussion. http://pic.twitter.com/CKcpZa24bW

— Richard Johnson (@RJ_Writes) October 10, 2017

Florida also wore these Nike alternates against Florida State in 2009:

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

There were also these worn during the Florida-Georgia game in 2010:

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Those aren’t the only alternates the Gators have worn, but they did win all three of those games!

4. The “hype” video releasing these things wasn’t even good.

Pairing what appears to be the growl of a Gator with hype music and a player coming out of a tunnel to an empty stadium isn’t the best look, to be honest.

W E A R E T H E F L O R I D A G A T O R S #GoGators @Nike #TheSwamp http://pic.twitter.com/99AHMLBfeL

— Gators Football (@GatorsFB) October 10, 2017

5. Florida wanted to make it clear that this wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment combo.

After the internet’s horrified reaction, Florida said:

This one-time alternate uniform was the culmination of an 18-month process. https://t.co/10dzUpfgSU

— Gators Football (@GatorsFB) October 10, 2017

6. At least some players like them?

The new uniforms we wearing Saturday #LoveEm

— Jawaan. T 6️⃣5️⃣ (@jawaan_taylor74) October 10, 2017

Jealous of the @GatorsFB uniforms ‍♂️ ‍♂️

— Jon Halapio (@Jhalapio67) October 10, 2017

Offensive lineman Fred Johnson said there were a few players who didn’t like them at first.

“There was a couple people. You can’t please everybody,” Johnson said via SEC Country. “You can’t please 100 percent of the people. … The majority of people have come around to it,” he said. “Then again, we only have the helmet and the shoes on today. When the whole ensemble comes together I think we’re going to be really happy about it.”

Cornerback Chauncey Gardner Jr. echoed my first reaction to them.

“My first impression, I thought they were gray,” Gardner said. “I thought they were gray. I didn’t like them, I thought they were gray. And then we seen it today, I was like, ‘Oh, they’re green,’ ” he said. “So it’s kind of a cool, like different look [for] Gators uniforms. You know, we always go orange or blue or white. … The green is a nice way to spice things up. … I kind of like it. I like it a lot.”

7. Alligator Army has some thoughts:

The jerseys look like someone was assigned to create olive drab cycling uniforms for a bad Tour de France team. They look like a tire tread became a shirt. They look like hunting apparel from Kmart — not even Walmart, Kmart.

The jersey pattern not continuing down the pants is a major mistake because of how good Nike patterns like this can actually look when applied to a full uniform. The helmet’s left side either being genuinely blank or left for some other unspeakable horror is vexing.

The color is an unappealing shade of dead nature — and I don’t even know whether it’s actually olive green or gray-green or gray. It clashes with the blue and orange on the number — and it makes me think, every time I look at these uniforms, how much better a simple palette swap making “swamp green” “Gator black” and using the traditional orange and blue as accents would have looked.

The shoes aren’t even good. Do you know how hard you have to try to make Nike shoes look genuinely bad, instead of just meh, given three decades of great Nike design? It’s hard. It’s really, really hard.

8. As does Every Day Should Be Saturday:

To date, Florida has lost badly to Michigan, lost dumbly to LSU, beaten Vanderbilt convincingly, narrowly avoided blowing a lead against Tennessee, and even more narrowly avoided the end of the win streak against Kentucky. The Gators face a Texas A&M team that was competitive against Alabama and would prefer that you not dig into those other games. They were sent to Archives Subbasement G, and you do not have the security clearance required to access Archives Subbasement G.

Florida probably won’t win the East this year, which is fine. Florida almost certainly won’t be catastrophically bad either, which is also fine. This season is neither Florida’s wedding day nor Florida passing out in its own prime rib vomit at someone else’s wedding. This season is just a sick day. Can we not let Florida just stay home, not shower, eat a bunch of cereal, and download workout apps it’ll never use for more than a week? BY THIS TIME IN FOUR MONTHS FLORIDA WILL DO A HUNDRED PUSHUPS!

Nope. Just haaaaad to break out the Island of Dr. Moreau Pro Combats and get roasted on the timeline. Wonderful.

9. And Good Bull Hunting has some better ideas.