#I was born to play this role I'm afraid

[bookwormbynight]

Do you think either L or Light being a woman would change the story in anyway?

It definitely would. 100%.

Let's see... Taking away the context of the people writing the story, (Ohba and Obata very obviously fucking HATED women and did not try to hide it 😭) and attacking this only from an in-world perspective...

Let's start with L. What I've always taken is that he doesn't have a particular attachment to the idea of gender, gender roles, gender expression, etc - he doesn't pay any particular attention to his appearance and I'm fairly certain his neutral clothing is the way it is simply because he finds that the easiest and most comfortable. However, I think he's perfectly comfortable with being perceived as a man because he is cisgender, just kind of detached from it. (I would take an argument from others about apathetic nonbinary L tho.) This would probably translate if he'd been born female. I don't think, at her core, she would act any different at all, but she would likely be more aware of her sex thanks to the fact that everyone else would pay more attention to it. The fact that L was male automatically removed barriers that female L would have to face. It would probably take longer to get Watari to listen to her than it did in canon, she would probably allow people to assume she was the wrong gender and not correct them for ease's sake when she contacted people as L through the voice filter, and when she met the Task Force face-to-face, she might spend a hot second fielding weird awkward bullshit, because the Task Force knew and trusted her before, and this doesn't really change who she is, but it would definitely shift their perception at least a little and that dissonance likely wouldn't be handled tactfully. If she acts the exact same as canon L, though, which I imagine she would, whatever 'fears' would be generally dissuaded fairly quickly and she would have their respect due to the relationship they had already built, just like what happened when they saw canon L's appearance, although the Task Force would likely end up assuming she's a lesbian even though she isn't. (This would also probably mean that she's equally as subject to accusations of perversion as canon L.)

Light would be. SO FUCKING AWARE OF HER GENDER. Canon Light is 100% a very cisgender gay man with a good heap of lightly gay-flavored perfectly in-line gender expression, publicly adhering to gender roles as best he perceives them, and a disdain for the opposite gender. Female Light would have a double whammy of suspicion and dislike of the opposite gender (now men), and also internalized misogyny. How nice <3. She would likely go out of her way to be much more publicly sweet and demure, downplay her confidence much more than canon Light bothers to (so as to not be seen as a bitch), and have a good heaping of bitterness about her 'societal restraints' (that she's consenting to be stuck in because she'd be one of those 'play nice and eventually they'll respect you' motherfuckers). She'd probably honestly go for playing Kira even quicker than canon Light does, simply because her future prospects are not as bright as her male counterpart's and she would be very frustrated about that and this would be an outlet, and while canon Light was NOT afraid to murder a rapist on sight, female Light might end up even seeking them out when looking for 'the worst of the worst' (I doubt canon Light did), because she would now be a part of the population that lives under that fear, and those actions might skew her statistics. I think the face-to-face introduction of L into her life would fucking rock her world.

Moving to the topic of sexualities and romantic subtext, I think Light would be a gender-conforming femme closeted lesbian (I like to think she would have a particular weird thing about boobs and that would be the only thing that sticks out about her to her friends, because aversion to sex with men is not considered particularly notable in women in this patriarchal society - which fucking baffles me but whatever). If Misa's still a girl, I can't decide if she would decide that she's in love with this Light, or rationalize her devotion as more of a platonic thing, but since she would be part of the gender Light trusts and relates to more, even though she hates how vapid Misa appears (internalized misogyny + superiority complex!), their relationship might end developing to more closely resemble canon Light's relationship to Mikami. If Misa's a guy, their relationship would stay the exact same, just with the assumed gender roles swapped, and the imminent threat of Misa getting down on one knee and proposing to Light out of the blue at any time (and also maybe being more overtly sexually aggressive because society would have let him feel entitled to that). I personally think canon L is bisexual and as such female L's sexual bullshit would not have changed in the slightest.

The way Light is treated by the Task Force might start derailing the story when they begin to intertwine. Also I would not at all be surprised if male!Misa tries to babytrap Light by poking holes in the condoms and switching out her pills because he thinks she, a female with biological urges, will grow to appreciate what he did. (She will not.)

[alwayscorvus]

"Morning hun" - Mortefi short

"Morning hun" - Mortefi short

malereader x Mortefi, fluff; warning! 18+/21+ topics hinted;

Just a quick short about daily life with Mortefi. He can be completely out of character. Because premiere is on Wednesday. And I'm just so excited that I want to write something about wuwa. But at the same time I don't want any spoilers sooo…. this is a results of reading 3 sentences from official website and looking at his appearance.

There he was. Sitting on a bed leaning against the headboard. He was wearing a loose white shirt. Unbuttoned, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Your shirt.

The one you had worn during yesterday's official event, from which you and Mortefi had left earlier than you should.

Man must have been troubled by a morning chill.

Mortefi's red hairs, were slightly messy. On top of his nose, you could see a reading glasses. With thin frames, typical for any scientist. He furrowed his eyebrows gently. With focused gaze he stared urgently at the screen of a laptop on top of his lap. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of a thing that was occupying man's attention at such an early hour. You managed to spot a document of some sort and a few open windows with research that you couldn't really understand. However, bright screen hurt your still sleepy eyes enough for you to quickly return to looking at you partner.

If you could even call him that.

You shifted slightly on his bed. Careful not to let go of your lying position.

You approached Mortefi and kissed him gently on his exposed forearm. His skin was pleasantly warm.

-Morning hun -you greeted in a husky voice to which he only nodded.

That was exactly your problem. Or rather, yours only. Officially, your relationship was titled as "friends with benefits". Or at least that's how it all started.

Mortefi, born in an upper class, couldn't initiante "inappropriate" contacts with anyone other than his future spouse. And even after abandoning family obligations, as a great genius and scientific research, he had neither a time nor desire for such things.

Years later, however, he began to lose concentration and felt frustrated. His scores dropped. And that silly friend of his, gave him an idea of finding another type of "friend". And in fact, Mortefi just agreed to this.

Two of you were never particularly close. But Mortefi felt a sense of trust in you. You gave off a strange kind of aura that implied that you were a proper one for this “task.” And it's not that Mortefi even liked guys. He just wasn't looking for an emotional experience, but rather a quick and stress-relieving one. And the first person that came to his mind was you. You were sort of larger than the rest, bulkier, taller. It gave an illusion of responsibility and protectiveness. After all, Mortefi couldn't give himself into an arms of just anyone. And at the same time he didn't want to play a role where he had to do all the work. He had enough duties on his mind.

Despite this, you acted almost like a couple. Your meetings didn't end only after finalizing one activity, you spent more time with each other. You addressed each other with cliche nicknames. You took care of each other. You made favors for each other. And you attended almost all important meetings together. Even though you majored in two different fields.

Mortefi, however, was probably not ready to give you both a second label. Or he didn't even think about it at all. Anyway, why would he? You were his. He was yours. He took it for granted.

You planned to change that in the future, but you still had plenty of time to do so.

You reached out your free hand (the one not crushed under your head) and placed it gently on man's chest. Slowly making your way down to red crystalline peeking out from under a white, sloppily wrapped bandages. Petite, pretty, like little feathers. Or almost petals like. They always fascinated you and puzzled. But you never had a courage to ask. You weren't afraid of his reaction. You just didn't want to pry into his private matters.

You carefully touched a gorgeous crystalline. After a longer contact, they seemed sharp and began to burn. However, it wasn't unpleasant. You remembered that from previous occasions.

You liked it. Like everything about Mortefi.

However, you moved your hand away, because although man didn't say anything. His face began to dangerously match a color of his hair.

-Mortefi

Man hummed at your call, giving a sign that he is listening.

-Are you up for breakfast?

Mortefi nodded vigorously and began tapping with his fingers faster on a keyboard. As if he had found some new solution to his problem.

-Something specific?

-Coffee - he replied casually, to which you snorted.

-Coffee is not a breakfast

Right corner of his mouth gently lifted up.

-I'll eat whatever you eat

You pushed yourself off the mattress with both hands, moving to a sitting position. Out of a corner of his eye, Mortefi glanced at your flexing muscles. Exactly the same like when you do push-ups.

But he didn't let it show and kept on working.

-I better do something good

With a smile, you kissed him briefly on the lips and headed to the bathroom.

[inhonoredglory]

A Wartime Footing: An Explanation for Aziraphale's Elevator Smile

(Based on an ask from @sabotage-on-mercury in response to my meta on why Aziraphale had to go to Heaven)

The creepy smile was one part of the ending I couldn't quite put my finger on either, until someone pointed out on a Twitter response to my meta:

The reason why its scary is bc azi is becoming properly angry at the system and is 101% determined to set things right (Source)

In season 1, Aziraphale was determined not to kill anyone to stop the Apocalypse. He wouldn't even tell Crowley where the Antichrist was, because Crowley's only solution was to kill him.

And because Crowley consistently didn't have any ideas ("not one single better idea??"), Aziraphale took it on himself to pursue the only option left––to ask God to intervene and stop both Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth. Therefore, Aziraphale had to keep the integrity of his angel status by distancing himself from Crowley, while the world was still in danger.

Despite this dedication avoid bloodshed, when God didn't have an answer, Aziraphale went against one of his core beliefs to help save the world. He was willing to murder a child.

For Aziraphale, that takes guts. And (seeing how he reacted at the end of the Job minisode), I wonder that if he had killed Adam Young, Aziraphale would have checked himself into Hell.

Going to Heaven for Aziraphale is ultimately a conscious choice, one that he is clearly afraid of. We see him constantly steeling himself again the Metatron in the end, covering his fear and hurt from losing Crowley with a placid smile and a flippant attitude. He's wearing so many masks, to Crowley, to himself, to the Metatron...

All season we've seen him playing roles (detective, magician, doctor, landlord). But the final role is warrior. Going up that elevator, we first see Aziraphale's eyes searching, worried, panicking, but unable to show it because he's not in a safe space. He swallows, blinks, he's breathing hard (you can see his entire shoulders rise and fall).

But as he goes up, his expression steels. He's quite literally putting on a mask (to himself): a vengeful, hardened expression of pure anger and rage (to drown out the fear and uncertainty he so clearly still has).

Michael Sheen conveying contained anger in both Good Omens and Masters of Sex.

Cuz this isn't just him scrambling to kill a kid, this is him walking calmly and knowingly into sacrificing everything he loves most (Crowley, the bookshop, his entire life on earth) to create a world that will always be safe for him and Crowley and humanity for the rest of time. Where he would have to go up against the most powerful angels, the Metatron, and God Themself to change things. He can't be the kind, sweet angel he was on Earth. That won't cut it in Heaven if he wants to make a difference in any real way.

He wanted to do it with Crowley, with the love and support and strength of his demon. But without him, Aziraphale has to channel something else to keep his resolve afloat.

Something he had when he was a warrior, fighting on the front lines of a battle between Heaven and Hell, when he very likely led a platoon into divine fields of bloodshed before the earth was born. When he was an avenging angel.

I haven’t done this since the Great War.

It was a time and an identity he had chosen to leave behind, because it wasn't the kind of angel he was anymore ("I'm not fighting in any war!"). In this context, you can read Aziraphale's passionate unwillingness to take a life (his pacifism) directly into his past experience as a warrior. It is often the veterans of terrible wars who are the most earnest advocates for peace. (And especially in Britain and Europe, where the violence of the world wars is still such a powerful and painful national memory.)

As he goes up the elevator, he's breathing so hard we can hear it mirrored in the soundtrack, and he is so hyperfocused on steeling himself that he doesn't even care that the Metatron is watching him. He doesn't rest until he's psyched himself into that warrior mindset necessary to carry out this mission entirely by himself, to be both the moral advocate and the uncompromising leader of angels who had intimidated him his entire life. To demand respect and to talk to the very face of God and tell Them they are Wrong.

(Please read this Neil-approved meta for further thoughts on God and Aziraphale.)

That creepy smile is clearly not there because Aziraphale is happy to fall into a toxic parent's false love. There's no comfort or wistful nostalgia in that face. There's no "it'll be so much nicer" in that smile. It's not a happy smile. It's an I'm-gonna-fuck-shit-up smile.

Because it's a warrior's smile before they go into battle, before they put on that armor and, for a while, become something they're not in the name of some greater good. He's fucking furious and it's downright frightening.

Because I have no doubt that the angel Aziraphale we get in Season 3 is the angel Aziraphale who can say this:

He's not quite there yet in the TV show. But this bravery, this anger, this flaming rage is how it starts.

Or as he's described in the book when Aziraphale mysteriously does away with the local mafia:

Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.

[keepingeahalive]

Why Rapple Wouldn’t Work as a Couple

First off, let’s get this out of the way: Raven and Apple are not related. Well…more like distantly related, but to the point where any relation is almost nil. Raven is not destined to marry Apple’s father because Apple’s dad and Raven’s dad (The Good King) are two separate characters. Raven is only destined to be jealous of Apple and poison her. That is all.

Okay, on with the real debate.

I'm probably gonna get a lot of hate for this, but I can't see Apple and Raven as a couple. While both of their arcs were about coming to accept each other, they weren't equal in their relationship. Raven made it clear to Apple many times that she felt disrespected, and Apple ignored that and pushed her own agenda on her. It may have come from a place of caring, but Apple didn't get Raven at all. I can see them working through their issues down the line, but their love story (if you can call it that) is better as platonic.

Bulldozing and Passive Aggression

From the first episode, we can see that Apple immediately took control for both of them. She went behind Raven's back to room with her and decorated Raven's side of the room without her permission, all because Raven is an important part of "her" story.

Not their story. "Her" story.

Her friendship with Raven in the first three chapters was surface-level at best. She assumes what Raven wants instead of actually getting to know her, like when she decides to take "Home Evil-nomics" to get back at Raven for taking Princessology. But Raven's favorite class isn't Home Evil-nomics. It's Muse-ic.

We can see Raven trying to be patient with Apple because Raven is a good person. She doesn't want a repeat of what happened between Snow White and the Evil Queen. In fact, we see her other friends hide their concerns from Apple because they don't want to upset her.

When Ashlynn finally comes out about her relationship with Hunter, she's immediately met with Apple's dismay. Apple tells her several times that she's making the wrong decision, and it gets to Ashlynn so much that she chooses her friendship with Apple over her relationship with Hunter because she doesn't want everyone to be upset. Although Ashlynn decides to do what makes her happy, Apple still tells her outright that she's making the wrong choice.

Briar starts to feel the weight of her destiny sink in and, instead of being met with compassion and understanding, Apple tells Briar "we all have our part to play." While Briar rightfully calls her out for how privileged she is, it takes her three chapters and two more specials to admit to Apple that she was too scared to tell anyone that she didn't want to follow her destiny.

They both go behind Raven's back to poison a birthday cake she made for Apple just so she would stop crying about it.

Apple is the next Queen of Ever After, and she wants to take an active role in serving her people. But she thinks she knows what's best for everyone. If they don't do what she says, then there's something wrong and she has to fix them. Everyone enabled this behavior, except for Raven. This domination is what causes her and Raven's tension at the start of the series.

2. Apple's Fears

Apple is a selfish character. But that selfishness is born of fear.

She believes going against her destiny means dying and being forgotten.

I believe she does care about her friends, in the same vein a God-fearing church-goer cares about the people in her community. She believes there is only one true way of staying safe: following your destiny. If you don't, something bad happens. And she has to remind you of that. She thinks she's helping people when she's really being insensitive and condescending. And this comes down the hardest on Raven.

Raven is the equivalent of someone who's become disillusioned with their faith. She's unhappy with the system she's been put in and she wants something better. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of what might happen if she does. She's terrified she might doom everyone at first. But taking a risk on Legacy Day and showing everyone they can live without following a predetermined path made her and others more hopeful that they could live better lives.

But Apple can't be convinced with one act of rebellion. She doubles down on her beliefs and blames Raven for ruining her Happily Ever After. She's so afraid of her future being uncertain that she would rather follow a status quo where someone she claims to care for is locked away for the rest of her life. You could argue that she doesn't understand that's what would happen, but she never bothered to understand Raven's perspective. Raven takes Apple's perspective in Thronecoming and considers the consequences of her actions. Raven cares about her friends too, so much that she's willing to put her happiness aside to keep them safe. Apple never once did that for her, or for any of her other friends.

This stems from Apple being promised the best destiny out of anyone. She'd go on to live a very prestigious life as Queen. But she's too naive to realize what that would mean for everyone else: Raven would be locked up for the rest of her life, Ashlynn would die to continue her legacy, and Briar would marry some random dude several decades younger than her and never see Apple or anyone she knew ever again. I understand that no one wants to lose the stability they've had their entire life. But she doesn't seem to understand how good she has it.

3. Apple and Raven's Growth

Way Too Wonderland and Dragon Games gave us a lot in terms of character development. Apple and Raven have gotten to know each other better at this point. Even though they have their differences, they do care about each other.

Say what you will about Way Too Wonderland, but I do believe Apple has come to know Raven and is genuinely shocked and heartbroken when Raven finally signed the Storybook of Legends. She's come to care about who Raven really is, she knows Raven would never want to hurt anyone, and she realizes that destinies can be dangerous. I understand her main reasoning was that anyone could easily take someone else's destiny if they had the chance. But seeing what signing the book did to Raven frightened her. Destroying the book with Raven cemented a level of trust and understanding that Raven was longing for.

Which is what makes Dragon Games so heartbreaking.

Apple is a privileged little princess who was promised the best destiny one could expect. I don't think anyone would be all that happy about letting that go. It goes back to what she fears the most. She doesn't know what to do without her destiny. And with her mother only feeding into these insecurities, it allows Apple's doubts to resurface and for someone to take advantage of that.

Apple could have prevented releasing the Evil Queen. But she was too deep in her own cowardice to think clearly. Desperation will make people do anything, especially if promised a happy ending for you and everyone you love (maybe subconsciously hoping Raven would be her True Love). That doesn't excuse her freeing a war criminal who happens to be her best friend's estranged mother, thereby breaking her trust all over again. Raven had just started seeing Apple as someone she could depend on. That's gone now, and Raven had a right to be angry with Apple's selfishness and cowardice.

"But Apple realized her mistake and Raven forgave her in the end!" That's true, but that doesn't mean things are okay between them. Apple is still Raven's friend, and it's in Raven's character to forgive her. But I don't see her forgetting this experience any time soon. That trust would have to be built up all over again and, if you ask me, this ruled out any chance of them getting together romantically. I think Raven would need some time away from Apple to figure things out. Apple could use that time to figure herself out too, especially after figuring out it was Darling who woke her.

If that trust was able to be built back up again, hopefully they would have grown as people and learned to be better friends. But you can't expect this level of trust to be regained for a partnership.

4. A One-Sided Romance

If Rapple were to be anything romantic, it would only come from Apple.

Apple was always obsessed with Raven. I do believe she wanted Raven to fulfill their destinies so they would both be safe, but was too selfish to consider how that would look from Raven's end. She never showed any interest in Daring and, while she enjoyed the admiration she got from other boys, never expressed interest in anyone else.

Except Raven.

So, yes. I do believe Apple was in love with Raven. But I can't see Raven returning those feelings. Apple always disregarded what she wanted, ignored her when she argued against her destiny, and continually tried to turn Raven into something she wasn't. Even after her much-needed character development in Way to Wonderland and Dragon Games, these two still don't have a good foundation of trust between them. If we had gotten more of the show, we might have seen some healing. And, in my opinion, that would include Apple learning to let go of Raven and focusing on her own growth as a person.

And maybe someone else...

In all seriousness, Apple and Raven have a complicated relationship that I don't see working romantically. I know they have the most development together, and it would be an interesting take on the enemies-to-lover trope. But with how often Apple betrayed Raven's trust and how grounded and self-aware Raven is, I can't see them getting together.

I can see Raven being Apple's first crush, but the closest these two can get is sisters.

Because, you know, Raven has a boyfriend. It's Dexter. Say what you want about him, but they have a healthier relationship than Raven and Apple could ever have, romantic or not.

[verysium]

if you had to associate a city from the world w any bllk character of your liking which cities with who and why? sorry for the odd question lmao it just crossed my mind. love ur works btw!💗

i love unconventional questions like these cus then i have to really think hard to come up with a good answer. i will admit i am slightly biased because i feel that the current teams they play for already represent them well, so some of these might be a repeat. also i am not that well-travelled (wish i could if i had the money), so i'm merely going off the reputed description of each city.

rin would be paris. i know it sounds unoriginal, but pxg rin has already grown 10x prettier than he was during the u-20 arc, so something in that city air must be doing him right. also i feel like he just dresses like a stereotypical european lol. the winter coat and scarf combo plus the perpetual scowl on his face. he probably walks super quickly down the metro too. i have this fic in the drafts where rin and reader meet up at his shitty parisian apartment and eat hotpot and smoke cigs on a random sidewalk in winter. rin is also high class. it just comes naturally to him. like if u ever take a walk near place charles de gaulle (the arc de triomphe area), there's this quiet luxury that is prominent in the fancy hotels and brand stores that make up the vicinity. even better if u go during christmas time because they have these intricately detailed light fixtures. i remember seeing this one cartier store with a giant glittering jaguar on the front. not to mention their swarovski christmas tree. rin's like that. i feel like in a few years once he goes fully professional, the media would go wild over his poise and refined grace. he just has that subtly enticing aura, like a silent glamour.

sae would be madrid. not just because it's canon but also because i feel like the city is just the polar opposite of him. madrid is one of the hottest cities in europe, and sae's just perpetually cold. even in the literal sense, i feel like he would have cold hands and feet too. if u see those wes anderson style travel commercials of madrid, it's always some variation of pastel houses, sunshine, and bikini beaches. that is exactly what sae is not like. i also chose this for...*ahem* spoiler reasons in my upcoming fic chapter which i'm not going to delve too much into. but the gist is that the contrast is why sae fits so well in madrid and also why it's a bit tragic to see how drastically he has to change in order to adapt to a new environment. if not spain, i feel like he'd still end up somewhere with a large coastline because of how fundamental the sea is to him throughout his childhood. it's sort of his safe space. if i had the choice to assign two cities, i'd also include his hometown of kamakura since he seems like the type to be secretly sentimental. i picture sae as someone who values his roots even though he constantly says he has bigger and better places to be. like he would tell everyone that he was born in the wrong country but then proceed to sigh melodramatically whenever he actually misses home.

kaiser is a weird mix of munich, new york, and las vegas. i chose munich largely because of his german roots. i also picture him as bavarian. new york and las vegas are mostly attributed to the duality of his character. when we first see kaiser, he's this figure of flamboyance. his entrance was hands-down the most theatrically dramatic one, and there are theatre motifs throughout his dialogue (eg. roles on a stage, rejecting yoichi's script/play). i feel like this would fit well with the extravagant nightlife las vegas is known for and, of course, broadway in NYC. furthermore, kaiser is this prime example of clawing your way to the top. he seems charismatic and welcoming at first, but then we see his internal motives and well...it's something. he is cutthroat when it comes to competition, and he's not afraid of using others in his ascent to the top. i mean...he literally holds people by the hair as if they're mere objects. that seems pretty ruthless and machiavellian to me. i doubt he even humanizes any of his rivals; rather, he views them as opponents to his ideology. there's also a reason why they say if you make it in new york, you can make it anywhere. there's a highly individualistic mindset, and if you really want something, the resources are there for you to achieve it. kaiser is like that in the sense he is willing to put his all into getting something he desires, even up to an obsessive degree.

yukimiya is london. like u know what taylor swift said about the english? that's yukimiya for you. he treats his mother right, sleeps 8 hours a day, and said his first love was when his friend's 16-year-old sister kissed him on the forehead. he cannot be any more perfect. not to mention he's a literal model. like hello? IMG is calling.

shidou is somewhere in ohio. i'm not going to elaborate. the man's just weird.

isagi is somewhere rural. idk why but he strikes me as a country boy. probably helps his parents on the rice farm and bikes long distances to school. i found a lot of parallels between him and hinata shoyo from haikyu mostly because they're both from a smaller, lesser known neighborhood, have a pretty ordinary childhood, and become inspired by this influential role model. my secondary reason is just that isagi doesn't seem like he'd even be familiar with the urban landscape. he's lived his life in humble origins, so i think there might be some culture shock once he actually gets to the city. like...boy was genuinely amazed when he entered that blue lock facility. never seen so much high-end equipment and technology in his life.

ego lives in a sewer. i cannot tell u his precise location just that he probably hasn't washed his hair in 45 days and is still surviving off processed ramen noodles. please pray for him.

barou is los angeles and if not socal, then he's from the bay area. i took one good look at his artificially dyed red hair and the answer was clear. he is not immune to trends guys. it's almost embarrassing. furthermore, i think the general silicon valley area is known to be hardworking, and that encapsulates barou pretty well. he is disciplined to the core, and he knows that success is not going to come to him without him actively trying to reach it. he's also...(let's be real guys)...just a teensy weensy bit arrogant. he calls himself a king, as in a literal monarch. and he says this in the most serious tone too. now he rightfully earned that title, but it doesn't erase the secondhand cringe i felt from reading that dialogue LOL.

[jenlrossman]

Tuvix as a metaphor for Janeway's mindset throughout Voyager

When Tuvok and Neelix merged into a new individual after a transporter malfunction, Tuvix was born. Possessing a combination of the memories and personalities of his component parts while still being his own unique self, Tuvix quickly proved he was more than just a transporter accident, showing he had potential to find his place among the crew of Voyager and settle in to this new normal.

And when Janeway learned of a way to separate him, bringing back Tuvok and Neelix, Tuvix was killed. Against his wishes, against the doctor's ethical subroutines, Tuvix was killed.

I'm not going to discuss whether or not this was right. That's an entirely different subject that many people have debated ad nauseam.

I just want to talk about how the decision to kill Tuvix and bring back Tuvok and Neelix might actually be the defining moment in developing Kathryn Janeway's mindset for the rest of the series. The sometimes questionable mindset best described as

"There's the right way, the wrong way, and the Janeway."

To Captain Janeway, Tuvix is a problem to solve. He is the thing standing in the way of the status quo, the thing preventing her from seeing her loved ones again.

She says as much, when Kes is expressing reservations about developing feelings for Tuvix and says she hasn't given up on the idea of him being separated.

You’re experiencing what people on this crew have been going through since we first got stranded in this quadrant. Do we accept that we're separated from our loved ones forever, or do we hold onto the hope that someday we'll be with them again?

Tuvix, therefore, is a physical representation of being stuck in the Delta quadrant. He is the thing preventing them from being with their loved ones, and she might not be able to get everyone home right now if ever, but she's going to do everything she can to see Tuvok and Neelix again.

Whether or not it is right for her to kill Tuvix, that isn't as important to her as proving—to herself and to her crew—that she is going to do anything she can to get them home, and killing him is a symbolic representation of that.

We see this mindset continue throughout the series, and the Lower Decks episode Twovix gives us some great examples.

While most of the crew is dealing with another transporter malfunction, Boimler and Rutherford are dealing with holographic representations of various things the Voyager crew encountered. And they just happen to be some of Janeway's greatest hits… Or misses.

Michael "delete the wife" Sullivan—Janeway's holographic Irish boy toy, who she widowed and altered to suit her preferences even though those episodes deal with the possibility of all holograms having a chance to achieve sentience

The macrovirus—which was dealt with by Janeway unleashing it on a crowd of (again, possibly sentient?) holograms

The personification of fear—the clown who was defeated when Janeway went so far to save her crew that she literally made the concept of fear afraid of her

Chaotica—Janeway didn't particularly want to play the role of Queen Arachnia but she got very into it because when push comes to shove, she really doesn't mind being the villain if it means protecting her crew

And of course, the Borg…

The series finale of Voyager is the ultimate example of the "anything to see our loved ones again" mindset Janeway shows in Tuvix.

Voyager gets home. It takes 23 years, but they get home.

However, Seven is lost along the way, Chakotay dies after reaching earth, and the delay in getting home has exacerbated Tuvok's Vulcan equivalent of Alzheimer's to the point that he is not himself anymore.

Three of the most important people in her life, gone.

So what does she do? Of course she doesn't accept that, she can't, she never has been able to.

Kathryn Janeway goes back in time, erases the lives of everyone in the universe to rewrite history on her terms, she defeats the goddamn Borg—just to see them again.

And of course she does it herself. As we learned in Tuvix when the doctor refuses to separate him, Janeway doesn't care. She'll do it all herself, ethical consequences be damned, she just needs everyone she loves to get back to the Alpha quadrant.

So whether or not it was right to separate Tuvix, it doesn't matter. The right way, the wrong way, none of that matters. Not to her, not as long as doing things the Janeway gets everyone she cares about home safely.

[la-pheacienne]

I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but I was looking through your Lyanna/Rhaegar tag, and I struggle with this pairing. I enjoy it sometimes, but a few things just don’t add up for me. It’s often framed as Lyanna leaving of her own agency and Rhaegar choosing love over duty, but realistically, it feels like he unintentionally set her up to fail. I say this due to the North being largely isolated from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms. So, while Lyanna probably had some idea of southern dynamics��especially since she was about to marry into a southern family—understanding them is one thing, but actually navigating that world would be completely different. Ultimately, Lyanna would have a hard time thriving. I personally don’t think they got married, so if they had survived, she would have borne the brunt of it—her reputation ruined, potentially raising a child viewed as a bastard and a potential threat. Even if Rhaegar stayed committed, what if he eventually fell out of love or died? She would have no inheritance, and her security would be entirely dependent on Rhaegar and his family’s favor. She could return to her own family (if they weren’t declared traitors), but she’d still have to rely on them. She’s never truly independent; it’s like she left one cage only to enter another, all in the name of love. And it seems as if her agency doesn’t extend beyond that single choice. Logically, this just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s still a compelling story, but I don’t think Lyanna would thrive in this situation if they survived.

This is a continuation of my previous ask. Let’s look at this a bit more critically. In canon, Rhaegar takes Lyanna to the Tower of Joy in Dorne, guarded by three Kingsguard. Now, why would he do that? Dorne is HIS wife’s homeland, yet he brings Lyanna to the opposite end of the country, to his wife’s territory. Paired with the three Kingsguard, it seems likely he did this because he saw Lyanna as a flight risk. Rhaegar controlled whether she stayed or left. He even controlled her basic needs—her food, shelter, safety, clothing. She had no money to secure these things independently, and the Kingsguard weren’t loyal to her; they answered only to Rhaegar. Now, I do believe Lyanna left consensually, but to her own detriment. Even if she attempted to escape, she’d have little chance of surviving the Dornish desert, and that’s assuming she could even find help. Let’s say she did make it out of the desert—she’d then be in Dorne, likely pregnant with the child of the Dornish princess’s husband, in the middle of a rebellion. Do you really think the Dornish would sympathize and help her return? Her family had been declared traitors, and Dorne was loyal to the crown. They would most likely refuse to assist her and certainly wouldn’t help her get back. Lyanna Stark had no real agency. She might have felt free in moments, and perhaps things between them were good enough that she didn’t question it at the time. But it’s hard to believe Rhaegar didn’t understand this dynamic on some level. Why not take her to Dragonstone, his own property? There, he had full control without the complexities of hiding her in his wife’s homeland.

You don't come across as rude at all. But I'm afraid I can't help you much with this.

I'm not saying there is no power imbalance between a crown prince and a 16 yo high born maiden, I just don't think the parameter of power imbalance between them plays/will play a significant role in the way the story unfolds. I don't think the author had that in mind and I don't think the complexity/nuance of Rhaegar and Lyanna's situation stems from that. The dynamic you are describing, one of a predator and a prey, isn't particularly nuanced or rich to me, it's basically just Robert's take with a feminist twist. You can absolutely read the story like that, but I don't. The way I see it, Lyanna was betrothed to a piece of shit and she knew that, she met Rhaegar who was the antithesis of her betrothed, they bonded, they fell in love, she wanted him, she chose him and she ran away with him and stayed with him until the very end. That was her agency. It sucks that the social norms in universe would never let them be happy together, for the reasons you state. But that is a tragedy that stems from external factors (traditions, socia conventions and moral code), not something that can be attributed to Rhaegar specifically, imo. That is a reason for the reader to feel sorry for the couple, not necessarily criticize their decision. Also, you repeatedly state how Lyanna could not possibly thrive in this situation while forgetting Lyanna's circumstances prior to her meeting Rhaegar. Lyanna running away with a man she chose is precisely her exerting her agency, which fits with her wilful personality the way Ned portrays it. Whether we ideologically agree with this or not, for women in this pseudomedieval context, choosing their own lover/husband against their families wishes is the best marker of independence, and it is considered as such in the collective consciousness that the author is probably tapping into, at least to my understanding. In this context the choice of a partner is not just any choice and Lyanna's arc being so tightly linked to that choice does not diminsh her character to my eyes. Her story has truth to me even if it doesn't satisfy some generic requirements of media portrayal of female empowerment.

If we absolutely have to get all technical then no, Lyanna did not have a full time job, health insurance or social security. I technically can't disagree with you on that, I just don't personally find it interesting or relevant.

"Dorne is HIS wife’s homeland, yet he brings Lyanna to the opposite end of the country, to his wife’s territory. Paired with the three Kingsguard, it seems likely he did this because he saw Lyanna as a flight risk".

That is a guess. I have my own. Since we are so meticulous with the in universe details, let me just say that we don't actually know what the KG were doing with Lyanna. Were they keeping her imprisoned because of the "flight risk", or were they protecting her from her dumbass brother who wanted to hand her over like a trophy to his dumbass abusive and rapist BFF, a man she had already specifically declared she did not want or appreciate and who happened to be hunting her down? (We coincidentally see Ned regret his decision to arrange Lyanna's marriage to Robert for an entire book btw). Were they keeping her imprisoned or were they protecting her from Aerys who would probably want to capture her like he captured Elia and her kids? Many questions. Also, why did they hide in Dorne? Because Rhaegar knew Lyanna had nowhere to go in a 'hostile" Dorne in case she wanted to escape, or because Elia was already in the know and Dorne was loyal to Rhaegar and remained loyal to Rhaegar even after Elia's death so he knew that Lyanna would be better protected there? Idk, these are just blind guesses. So many possibilities, and you choose the most boring one.

Also, the what ifs do not interest me. "What if Rhaegar fell out of love", but that didn't happen in the story we're reading. Rhaegar is not a real person. He is a fictional character in a fictional story with specific plot points and a specific ending, serving as a vehicle for a broader theme. And grrm didn't write about a man who fell out of love and dumbed his lover in the middle of the desert. If he wanted to write that story he would have. Instead, he wrote about a man who died because he fell in love. So I'd rather focus on that since that's what actually happened.

The way I see it, you're trying to say that this pairing is not supposed to be a love story because of the power imbalance/Rhaegar's callousness/Lyanna's recklessness but what you truly mean is "I personally do not care about any of the major themes that are at play with this fictional couple because I personally can't forget/forgive/put aside their power imbalance/Rhaegar's callousness/Lyanna's recklessness which I believe are more important and overshadow the general themes of this story ". To that I disagree.

[princesssarisa]

I once reblogged a post about Disney's Beauty and the Beast where the OP wrote that in a sequel, they'd like to see Prince Adam still struggling to control his temper at times. I think I agree: anger issues don't easily go away. But there's something else I'd like to see in a sequel even more:

I want Prince Adam to make peace with the Beast.

I also want him to know that Belle has made peace with the Beast.

I want Adam to accept the fact that he was once spoiled, selfish, and unkind, and not to excuse it in the least, but to understand that he was made that way by his royal upbringing, not born that way. I want him to see that he can choose to behave differently in the present without hating his past self.

I want him to accept his temper – to realize that just as long as he doesn't act on it in harmful ways, it's okay to feel overwhelming anger when he's attacked or threatened. I want him to know that despite the importance of controlling it, his anger doesn't make him a bad or unlovable person, and that it can be used for good too. Namely to fiercely protect the people he cares about, as when he fought off the wolves to save Belle.

I also want him to accept the fact that he lost interest in dignity and gave in to his feral, "beastly" instincts: wearing tattered clothes, eating like a messy animal, ripping and smashing everything in the West Wing in his rages, etc. I don't want him to remember it as a character flaw, but to know that it was partly the fault of the spell warping his mind and partly out of sheer despair.

I want him to remember that he was never all bad. Even at his most beastly, he was moved by Belle’s request to take her father’s place as his prisoner, which made him agree to the exchange even before he realized that she might break the spell. Then when he saw her crying, he felt compassion and remorse, and he gave her a comfortable room and free rein of the castle. While his ferocious rage when he caught her in the West Wing was inexcusable (his anger itself was justified, but not his reaction that made her afraid for her life), he was instantly racked with remorse, and when he realized she had run into the forest and was being threatened by wolves, he risked his life to save her, which inspired her to give him a second chance.

Then, after he comes to these conclusions, I want him to be assured that Belle has done the same. I want him to know that Belle truly loves him, not just a role he learned to play to please her.

There's a comment somewhere or other on TV Tropes (I think on the Fridge Brilliance page), which says that the Beast "had to learn to hate himself" to become a better person. That breaks my heart. I don't want him to go through life hating himself and pretending to be someone else, or, if he does, for it to be portrayed as a good thing. That's no way to live.

I've been thinking of more recent Disney/Pixar movies like Turning Red and Inside Out 2, which promote accepting the messy sides of yourself (without using that acceptance as an excuse to behave badly, though) and loving every part of yourself. Beauty and the Beast obviously isn't about that mindset, but arguably just the opposite – some of the creative team have said that the Beast's character arc is about the universal process of learning to control our "animal" instincts and become civilized human beings. But are these movies’ different messages mutually exclusive? I'd like to think the Beast/Prince Adam can choose to be a civilized human being, yet fully accept the "animal" part of himself too.

I know that part of the problem is that I see parallels between the Beast and a neurodivergent person. Lack of social skills, physical messiness, struggle to connect emotionally with others, overpowering anger under stress that he struggles to regulate, etc. I see my own AuDHD qualities in him – maybe I'm projecting them too much onto him – and I feel as if part of his character arc is about learning to "mask." I know this wasn't the creative team's intention, but it feels that way. I don't want Adam to spend his entirely life masking and hating what's under the mask, or to think Belle loves only the mask and not his true self.

Let him make peace with the Beast.

[plinko-mori]

My favourite work from Rintarou Mori was Vita Sexualis. Now (since a long time ago lol) it is Moso <3 in Spanish it is translated as «Ilusiones» that literally means «Illusions» and in some contexts it can mean «Fantasies» I don't know how the work is called officially in English though I'm so sorry

So for everyone to have context about why Mori wrote it, there was this opinion that Rintarou hated and it said something like: ”Japan is a backward, poor and dirty county, plagued by diseases and dominated by barbaric customs, which indiscriminately imported Western customs and techniqued that weakened it, and whose esteemed culture was devastated by the Japanese themselves“. And Rintarou Mori, an author known for not knowing when to shut up, not because he spoke too much, but because when he sees something that he doesn't like, he speaks so freely about it and Natsume knows about it lol

In this short work from 1911, Mori explains his reasons of why that statement is absolutely incorrect, and there's a quote that I love a lot"

“From the time I was born until today, what have I done. I study relentlessly as if someone is whipping me, whipping me constantly. I think I do it to develop myself, to be able to fulfil a task. Maybe a part of this goal can be fulfilled. But it seems to me that what I do is nothing more than playing, like an actor, a role on stage. I feel that beyond the role I play, there must be something more. I feel that I am constantly being whipped and stimulated, so that I have no time to let go. The child who studies, the young man who studies, the civil servant who studies, they all play a role. One day I'll wash my face painted in red and black and get off the stage. I wish to think of myself calmly and see how it is something behind. With these thoughts I continue to play role after role, while the stage manager whips my back. I am sure that this performance is not life. I sense that the something that is behind me is nodding off again and falling asleep. Lately I feel nostalgic for my people; I am like the grasses that float and move with the waves in the distance and continue their undulating movement, and sometimes with the shaking they tremble to the roots, and this does not correspond to the role I play on stage. But this feeling, as soon as I raise my head, is erased”

Mori you wanted to defend your idea why were you doing a conclusion of you being a slave of your own thoughts, reputation and the standards with what people (specially your parents) expected from you also WHY IS THAT SO RELATABLE

The author is so human, traumatized and very much autistic, but it's so realistic and relatable... I don't know if I have analyzed the quote here before, if I have done it I'm so sorry 😭

Anyway Mori and samurais were topics extremely connected. His mother was a descendant of samurais, black is a colour associated with them and to weddings, being seen as a masculine colour in Japan. On the other hand, red in Japan is associated with peace, prosperity of family and even justice only in Kabuki Theater performances!

Kabuki is a genre of traditional Japanese theater, dating all the way back to the Edo Period (1603-1867)

The quote I shared is like less than 4 pages to the end of the work. It helps for reflexion and is one of the few times that the author opens his heart to the reader, where he shares things, but he's doing his maximum effor to show that Japanese and his people aren't weak... Although, it's almost obvious (at least for me) that deep in the inside he's not as strong as he claims to be, he can also be vulnerable, but he can't go back anymore because he already started walking that way to being an author, a doctor, a strong person that not only people hated but even felt afraid of Mori!

Unlike Vita Sexualis, Ilusiones is not a semi-autobiography, it's not a novel or a long book... But it's so deep, so emotional in some parts that at least I felt connected to the author when I read it. Mori's purpose is for you to think like him, to see his point, and he knows how to make sense to people that it can be shocking reading his works

Do you see any of this in BSD? I do. But what about you all?

[camisoledadparis]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … January 27

1832 – Lewis Carroll (d.1898) is born in Baresbury, England, named Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. He was an English writer, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon, and photographer. His most famous writings are Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, its sequel Through the Looking-Glass, which includes the poem “Jabberwocky“, and the poem The Hunting of the Snark – all examples of the genre of literary nonsense. He is noted for his facility at word play, logic and fantasy.

Carroll came from a family of high-church Anglicans, and developed a long relationship with Christ Church, Oxford, where he lived for most of his life as a scholar and teacher. Alice Liddell, daughter of the Dean of Christ Church, Henry Liddell, is widely identified as the original for Alice in Wonderland, though Carroll always denied this.

Carroll never married and his sexual identity is the subject of exploration by many historians an biographgers.

1888 - The National Geographic Society was founded In Washington, D.C. They are justly famous for many things but mainly for their magazine and for many gay men, the photographs of naked tribesmen featured in the pages of that yellow-spined National Geographic was their first look at the male form in its glory. ("What? Oh, I'm just interested in ethnography, mother.")

1936 – Troy Donahue, born in New York City (d.2001) was an American actor, known for being a teen idol.

Born Merle Johnson Jr, he was initially a journalism student at Columbia University before he decided to become an actor in Hollywood, where he was represented by Rock Hudson's agent, Henry Willson. According to Robert Hofler's 2005 biography, "The Man Who Invented Rock Hudson: The Pretty Boys and Dirty Deals of Henry Willson," Willson tried out the name Troy on Rory Calhoun and James Darren, with no success, before it finally stuck to Donahue.

The blond heartthrob made a name for himself with uncredited roles in The Monolith Monsters (1957) and Man Afraid (1957); leading to larger parts in several other films, including Monster on the Campus (1958), Live Fast, Die Young (1958), and opposite fellow teen idol Sandra Dee in A Summer Place (1959). A Summer Place was a hit and made Donahue a name, especially among teenaged audiences. He signed a contract with Warner Bros., and met actress Suzanne Pleshette on the set of Rome Adventure. They married in 1964 but divorced later that year.

Warner Bros. put him in a TV series, Surfside 6 (1960–62), one of several spin-offs of 77 Sunset Strip, announced in April 1960. On Surfside 6, Donahue starred with Van Williams, Lee Patterson, Diane McBain, and Margarita Sierra in the ABC series, set in Miami Beach, Florida. After Surfside 6 was cancelled, Donahue joined the cast of Hawaiian Eye, another spinoff of Sunset Strip, for its last season from 1962 to 1963 in the role of hotel director Philip Barton.

After the release of My Blood Runs Cold (1965), Donahue's contract with Warner Bros. ended. He later struggled to find new roles and had problems with drug addiction, alcoholism, and his closeted homosexuality.

He was married again in 1966, to actress Valerie Allen, but they divorced in 1968. In 1970 he appeared in the daytime drama The Secret Storm.

By this time, Donahue's drug addiction and alcoholism had ruined him financially. One summer, he was homeless and lived in Central Park. "There was always somebody who could be amused by Troy Donahue", he says. "I'd meet them anywhere, in a park, street, party, in bed. I lived in a bush in Central Park for one summer. I kept everything I had in a backpack."

After his fourth marriage ended in 1981, Donahue decided to seek help for his drinking and drug use. In May 1982, he joined Alcoholics Anonymous, which he credited for helping him achieve and maintain sobriety. "I look upon my sobriety as a miracle", he says. "I simply do it one day at a time. The obsession to not drink has become as big as the obsession to drink. I was very fortunate."

Donahue continued to act in films throughout the 1980s and into the late 1990s. However, he never obtained the recognition that he had in the earlier years of his career.

On August 30, 2001, Donahue suffered a heart attack and was admitted to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica. He died three days later on September 2 at the age of 65.

1949 – American author, essayist and cultural critic Ethan Mordden was born today. His stories, novels, essays, and non-fiction books cover a wide range of topics including the American musical theater, opera, film, and, especially in his fiction, the emergence and development of contemporary American Gay culture as manifested in New York City. He has also written for The New Yorker, including fiction, "Critic At Large "pieces on Cole Porter, Judy Garland, and the musical Show Boat, and reviews of a biography of the Barrymores and Art Spiegelman's graphic novel Maus.

His best known fictional works are the inter-related series of stories known collectively as the "Buddies" cycle. In book form, these began with 1985's I've a Feeling We're not in Kansas Anymore. The fifth in the series, 2005's How's Your Romance?, is subtitled Concluding the "Buddies" Cycle. Together, the stories chronicle the times, loves, and losses of a close-knit group of friends, men who cope with the challenges of growing up and growing older. In this circle of best friends, teasing putdowns become performance art, but none of the friends ever attacks any other friend's sensitive spots.

Mordden thus breaks away from the gay model proposed by Mart Crowley's play The Boys in the Band, in which supposed best friends assault one another relentlessly in a style that has bedeviled gay art ever since, for instance in the television series Queer As Folk. Mordden's ideal of Gay friendship presents men who genuinely like themselves and one another. They are unique in Gay lit in that they respect the limits of privacy. This explains their devotion to one another: this "family" is a safe place.

1966 – Taylor Siluwé, popular writer, blogger and activist was born in Jersey City, where he lived most of his adult life. He studied creative writing at New York University, fulfilling what he considered “a burning passion to write.”

Known for his darkly erotic and humorous story telling style, Taylor’s writing has been featured in numerous publications including Details, Venus, Literary New York, Out IN Jersey, FlavaLIFE, and the E-zine Velvet Mafia. His short stories appeared in the anthologies Law of Desire and Best Gay Erotica 2008. In addition, Taylor published two sexually charged short story collections, Dancing With the Devil and Cheesy Porn…and other Fairy Tales.

Taylor’s writing reached new heights of popularity on his blog, SGL Café.Com, which combined a canny combination of the personal and political. Taylor’s blog served has a fiery, and often hilarious, platform for the rights of same-gender-loving men, while also providing insightful and candid asides on his personal life, popular culture and his struggle with cancer.

On Sunday, June 19, 2011, Taylor Siluwé died from lung cancer in his home in New Jersey. He was 43 years old.

Radford with Duhamel

1985 – Eric Radford is a Canadian pair skater. With skating partner Meagan Duhamel, he is a two-time World bronze medalist (2013 and 2014), the 2013 Four Continents champion, the 2014-15 Grand Prix Final champion, and a three-time Canadian national champion (2012-14).

Radford began skating when he was eight years old. He competed with Sarah Burke on the ISU Junior Grand Prix series in 2003 in the Czech Republic and 2004 in Hungary, placing 6th and 5th respectively. He also competed in single skating. At the 2005 Canadian Championships, he became trapped in an elevator just before he was scheduled to skate in the men's qualifying round but eventually escaped and was able to compete.

Radford teamed up with Rachel Kirkland in 2005. They were coached by Brian Orser in Toronto and part-time by Ingo Steuer in Chemnitz, Germany. They competed at the 2007 Canadian Championships where they finished 5th. After finishing 7th at the 2009 Canadian Championships, they ended their partnership.

Radford moved back to Montreal in 2009. He teamed up with Anne-Marie Giroux and finished 8th at the 2010 Canadian Championships.

At a coach's suggestion, Radford had a tryout with Meagan Duhamel and they decided to compete together. They won a silver medal at the 2011 Canadian Championships and were assigned to the Four Continents and World Championships. At Four Continents, the pair won a silver medal. During the short program at the 2011 World Championships, Radford's nose was broken when Duhamel's elbow hit him on the descent from a twist, their first element – she opened up too early. Seeing the blood, Duhamel suggested they stop, but he decided to continue. They finished the program without a pause. Duhamel had not done a triple twist since 2005, and the new pair only began performing it before the Canadian Championships.

In the 2011–12 season, Duhamel/Radford won bronze medals at their Grand Prix events, the 2011 Skate Canada and 2011 Trophée Eric Bompard. They won their first national title and finished 5th at the 2012 World Championships. The next season, Duhamel/Radford won silver at their Grand Prix events, the 2012 Skate Canada International and 2012 Trophée Eric Bompard. They then won their second national title and their first Four Continents title. Duhamel/Radford stepped onto the World podium for the first time at the 2013 World Championships in London, Ontario where they won the bronze medal.

In 2014, Duhamel/Radford skated their short program to music composed by Radford as a tribute to his late coach Paul Wirtz. After finishing seventh at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, they returned to the podium at the 2014 World Championships, where they scored personal bests in both the short program and the free skate on their way to a second bronze medal.

In December 2014, Radford publicly came out as gay in an interview with the LGBT publication Outsports. In doing so, he became the first competitive figure skater ever to come out at the height of his career while still a contender for championship titles, rather than waiting until he was near or past retirement; at the 2015 World Figure Skating Championships, Radford and Duhamel's gold medal win in pairs skating made him the first openly gay figure skater ever to win a medal at that competition. He is an ambassador for the Canadian Olympic Committee's #OneTeam program to combat homophobia in sports.

Radford with husband Fenero

Radford became engaged to his boyfriend, Spanish ice dancer Luis Fenero, on June 10, 2017. They wed on July 12, 2019.

Radford coaches skating in addition to competing. He studied music at York University, and plays piano and writes and composes music, and is registered as a member of the Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada.

1995 – At a press conference in Washington, DC, the House majority whip, Dick Armey, refers to Representative Barney Frank as 'Barney Fag.' He later apologizes, insisting it was a slip of the tongue.

[mushroompollution]

okay. i promised everyone an explanation, of everything. this is going to be a little long... because a lot has happened in the last month or so.

i used our date last month as an excuse to break into the study of Elliot's father's townhouse. i was looking for any information on the research being conducted with Humpty Dumpty and the children of Fianna's, hoping to find some way to help them and Elliot.

i found that, and a lot more.

I found out that Elliot's father was overseeing all of that personally. He was hoping to use Humpty Dumpty as a weapon, to compensate for Raven refusing all other Contractors before Gilbert. In the process, he discovered that Humpty Dumpty was born from the body of one of the previous Glen Baskervilles after he died. And that it would instinctively seek out, and protect, the next Glen.

When my mother died and I was sent to Fianna's, Elliot's father saw my weird eyes and had a theory that i might. carry Glen Baskerville's reincarnated soul. when Elliot and i went into the chasm in Sablier after the lost children, and Humpty Dumpty attacked everyone but me, his theory was proven correct.

That's why he let me stay on as Elliot's valet. And that's why he didn't do anything about Elliot's Illegal Contract. He thought that allowing Humpty Dumpty to protect Glen until he awoke was more valuable than his own son's life.

Unfortunately, i set off a silent alarm when i broke in. and i was so wrapped up in the things i was reading, i didn't notice Elliot's father until i was trapped.

Vincent saved me. but he killed Elliot's father to do it.

i panicked. i heard Elliot coming, and i got so scared that Vincent would kill him too. i only meant to teleport us to the House in Sablier, far enough away that Elliot would be safe, but close enough i could get home.

we ended up. somewhere else.

in order to get us home, i made the decision to step up and accept my role as the new Glen. i made a Contract with his Chain, Jabberwock, and forced open a way home through Abyss.

i couldn't tell Elliot any of this before. Humpty Dumpty alters its Contractors' memories so they never feel despair. i was afraid that if i did, Elliot would just forget it all, and the hand on his Seal would move.

i also. had responsibilities that i needed to tend to, and prepare for. responsibilities that i accepted as part of the deal i took to get home to him.

i had stolen a Carcere from Pandora in hopes that i could give Elliot a chance to overwrite Humpty Dumpty's Illegal Contracts and lock it away. but i was too late for that.

which, um. brings me to what happened this weekend.

the other Baskervilles knew that Pandora was planning to use Oz's ceremony as a chance to find the Sealing Stone in Isla Yura's mansion. so we did the same thing, intending to break it. the plan was to leave that to the others while Vincent and i would find Elliot, reveal everything, and give him the Carcere.

but none of that went right. no one knew that Isla Yura was planning to use the ceremony to recreate the Tragedy of Sablier. he had brought the children of Fianna's and members of his cult to play the roles of the Baskervilles. Elliot's mother was among them.

a lot of people died. we saved a lot of others, though.

the Sealing Stone was broken. but when it was, Humpty Dumpty went crazy. i won't tell all of the details of what Elliot went through, that isn't my place. but in the end, he was able to reject his Chain, destroying every other seed of it as well.

he's okay now, not because of me, but because of the generosity of our friends here on tumblr. because he was strong enough to look death in the eye and hold on.

when the basement collapsed, i summoned Jabberwock to save everyone. i got us all outside. but that means Pandora knows, without a doubt, that i'm Glen. so for now, i have to lay low. i can't go back to my life as Elliot's valet... ever, probably. which is really a shame. i loved my life at his side. but i also found a new family of people who are looking to me for direction. and i can't just turn my back on them, at least until i know what's expected of me. unfortunately, there's still one Sealing Stone, and the other Glens, the ghosts i'm haunted by, can't tell me anything important until it's broken.

so.

um.

i think that's about everything.

i guess, if there are any questions, just go ahead and ask them. before anons get involved and make me answer, anyway.

[firesofdainix]

spacetime continuum is such a cool concept! how did you even create the idea? and did you expect it to grow this much? Asking because I love it, back when you first started publishing them i checked the fwndom tag every day hoping youd uploaded a new one •-• its still my favorite series of fics in this fandom

Thank you so much for reading my stories! I admit I never quite expected people to love them much less be inspired, but here we are! March me would be so happy hearing this! So, there are three things that made me inspired to write Spacetime Continuum:

1. Broken AU and its impact in the Solarballs community, such as the Earth favoritism and evil Gas Giants

2. Earth's character being watered down to an innocent planet void of nothing wrong, which frustrates me greatly

3. The Ice Giants playing at most two roles in the Solarballs universes I had seen that time: being non existent, or being victims of the gas Giants.

For more information of the origins of this AU, click read more:

I mentioned that one of the biggest reasons I created this universe was because I had yet to see an AU where the Ice Giants are just as bad as the Gas Giants, and that they go with what the Gas Giants have for them without any coercion. Uranus' personality had been the very first thing I started writing and thinking about, hence my second work for Solarballs being about Uranus, when the paint dries. He was funny to flesh out, from being the insecure planet he is today to the prideful, boisterous and hot tempered character he'd been in the Proto Era. Jupiter and Saturn were the next to follow different tweaks of their character in canon, because my goal had been turning them into complicated and morally ambiguous characters. The Ice Giants are in POWER, IN CONTROL of their horrible actions (though you can make a case for Neptune being manipulated by Uranus, but it's clear he had no qualms killing the other giants and wiping out smaller bodies) in my universe, especially during the war for the position of Celestial Monarch.

The War had already been an integral part of the story, and it was mentioned in my first, now non-canon fic "Mars, god of war" along with hypothetical planets Antichton and Phaeton, plus their relationships with Venus and Mars. But during that, I didn't know what the war had been about, all I know is that Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune were all allies (to also combat the common fanon that Uranus is afraid of Jupiter) and their enemies are Saturn and Planet X. The character of Hades was born, and this drove me to write and flesh out the aforementioned Uranus fic linked earlier, with the earliest mentions of Jupiter accidentally killing Hades, and the animosity between Saturn and Jupiter/Uranus. I didn't expect myself to see the romantic tension between Jupiter and Uranus until now, so that was my fault LMAO

Since this is a series, and not a multi chapter fic, I didn't have to commit to a linear narrative and begin writing one shots about my universe, expanding the characters and the world revolving around the planets. My third fic I've uploaded was about Titan, aka "Saturn's moons hanging by a thread," and the two fics after it about the moons and how the elder Moons were affected by the war. It was an excuse to give the readers more details and clues about what happened before I immediately hit them with the Truth, which is why Saturn merely admonished his moons' actions against Titan in "moon eater." To set up Clues about WHY Jupiter killed Hades in the first place, but making it clear that the story Saturn told IS NOT the whole thing, as we see in "history is a story told by the winners of the fight," there were other factors at play, along with Uranus's ambitious motives (it'll be seen in a fic I'm uploading tonight!) it exposes Jupiter's mental stability and Hades's abuse towards his own older brother that drove him to kill him, even accidentally. And you have to take note this fic was written AFTER plot heavy and clue filled fics such as "after the battle," where Jupiter is written as a megalomaniac that finally got what he wanted; "you didn't know?" Where we are seeing the new personality of Jupiter, and the Ganymede fic, where Jupiter's actions are INEXCUSABLE and shitty. It's fun to see readers puzzling over what the hell happened in the last billion years.

However, since the series is built upon ideas that have taken a long time to consider and new ideas keep popping up, there are times when older fics contradict my new ones, such as changing Earth and Tierra from being the same person to different entities. But I hopefully usually keep my ideas and message consistent. I love having the creativity and using a show about talking planets as my muse and a sandbox for the different kinds of characters and themes which usually play out in the story. I know broken AU gets a whole lot of flack for being the main reason why Earth, Jupiter and Saturn's characters became damaged, but honestly I saw it as an opportunity. A way to integrate the "evil" gas Giants into my AU.

My goal is to keep everyone consistent, well-rounded, and having a defining set of goals and characteristics, including those who are used to drive the story or a character forward, such as Hades, Vulcan, Theia, Antichton and Phaeton, who already have SOME established depth to them other than being the partners of existing planets. I mean... Have you guys READ Antichton in "the consequences of our actions"? He was a bastard, as well-meaning POS who thought he was doing the best. And Hades, aka the planet I created to give Jupiter a character arc, only serving as a plot device? He STILL continues to haunt the narrative. He continues to make Jupiter uncomfortable at the mere mention of him. His murder is seen as Jupiter's power play and not retaliation. That's where I've been going.

Writing the characters who are alive with complex characteristics is something I enjoyed. I enjoyed writing Earth being an unapologetic, arrogant, insensitive asshole who gets on the nerves of other rocky planets. I enjoy writing Saturn as an unrepentant, vain, and self-centered planet who can't apologize without sounding like he forced it. I love writing Sun and how his favoritism, his greenhorn nature when he's been given his system led to the downfall of the solar system and cast permanent wounds to his Giants. And I enjoy writing Planet X, Tyche, Nemesis and Iris, who are up to no good.

The main themes or lessons in my series are as follows:

1. There is more sides to a story than what is given.

2. No one is right. No one is wrong. It all depends on what you're fighting for and the beliefs you have.

3. You need to learn responsibility. You are a born leader, use your talent to the utmost power. Don't play favorites, and discipline them when they go too far.

4. Revenge is a fickle thing: will it make you feel satisfied, or will it just fill your empty heart with negativity?

5. Immortality is sacred. One wrong move against those you love the most and you'll be dead.

6. Favoritism kills.

And a whole lot more I'm not getting into because they'd be spoilers, or they're not fully fleshed out as ideas yet! Thank you for enjoying spacetime continuum, and I hope to upload something about it soon! (Tonight lmao). I... Didn't think thisd get long but IT DID

[freetobeafcknriot]

Okay but hello! I saw your post about a Soulmate!AU for TUA and with season 4 coming I feel like I need to know more sooooo may I?

anon the way you made me screech and giggle and cry tears of joy because of course you may know more?? i've been waiting for this??? for reference, this is the post and this is how i'm tagging the au to keep track of it on my blog. because i may not have a title, but i'm an editor and sometimes a writer and almost always i just have an overreacting imagination. so i definitely needed a tag. anyway! i'll... idk i will give you a few details? hcs? this is the gist of it, buckle up !

the psa for this is that there are two kind of soulmarks: the ones you already have when you are born (if you're born with it; not everyone is and as a matter of fact the only two brellies to have a twin flame are allison and klaus) and the ones that appear through life (way more common). a case could be made to differentiate between these two categories, for which we either talk about twin flames—allegedly what once was one single soul now split in two perfect halves who are said to recognize and yearn for one another—or soulmates—two souls drawn to one another out of compatibility or remembrance who connect and form something.

this may vary from one culture to another, but there generally is no fixed standard regarding romantic or platonic bonds, as every soulmark and soul bond are unique in form and shape and meaning. this is the core of it all.

now. . . when they're little, reginald makes six of his seven children get the umbrella academy tattoo. in this universe, that tattoo is sort of a faux mark, because reginald had a strict and precise stance on soulmarks and at the time claimed that such things were foolish compared to the duty the academy had towards the world. the team should have formed a united front, be a unit, so that tattoo was a symbol that was to be seen as binding. marks and bonds can be made not just by fate, after all! at the time, little viktor was exempt from it because he wasn't part of the academy.

(little did they know that years down the line, in the sixties, an actual mark would appear on that same spot. this time though there would be seven of them.)

anyway, i don't know if you want a rundown of the soulmarks and whatnot? i have an in-depth list of bonds (both marked and not) with backstories and considerations and hcs regarding canon events that is quite lengthy because i imagine the au splitting in two branches at some point—one canon compliant up to season 4 when it's out and one canon divergent post-season 1 or 2—and  i'm also writing down a list of the soul bonds within the academy that is basically an abstract from viktor's book (because he would have included it too). i'll keep it short for starters because otherwise i'll end up unloading too much on you all and i'm afraid of being too all over the place, but basically. THE SOUL BONDS:

there's the tattoo of the series/faux mark and the actual soulmark that in my mind appears on top of it mid-season 2 and is shared by the brellies. team zero, hey? then from the oldest to the most recent to manifest we've got. . .

FIVE & VIKTOR, the rings ┈ because i nicknamed them all according to their soulmarks they have this small pigmented ring on the right ring finger that changes in shade depending on the physical distance between them. very subtle and cool and with much lore following canon, as you may guess. the only thing i'm gonna say for now is that five and vik's soul bond goes back to when they were four and it played a small role in the leaving lights on and sanwiches out situation.

LUTHER & ALLISON, the cryptolect ┈ it means that they can speak a language of their own. literally! it's impossible for anybody but them to understand it, reginald probably tried and failed to identify patterns or elements from various linguistic branches to make some sense of it but it just can't be picked up or taught as it's basically second nature. given how luther and allison were as kids it was such a big deal and so obvious that no one even remembers a time before and obviously due to recent events it's kinda cool to me to see it as a bit deteriorated but still ever-present bond.

FIVE & BEN, the wisps ┈ literally what five started calling the two flame-like little spirits that represent his and ben's soul bond after ben pointed out that they looked like the will-'o-the-wisp he'd read about in a book. but also because of the way they would appear and always lead the way to one another. that was their thing. nobody but five and ben has ever been able to see the wisps, not even klaus, so they had a theory that maybe they were an echoed apparition of their souls or something like that. there's a lot of lore/hcs here, too, especially regarding five's disappearance and time in the apocalypse and ben's afterlife as a ghost. all i can say is ‘so close yet far’ and ‘never truly gone’.

KLAUS & BEN, the timers ┈ it is as it says, only there were speculations about what the timers led to given that they weren't aligned (read: they were counting down to different dates) and not even made out of conventional numerals. the soulmark itself was a bit above the inner crook of the left elbow, no darker than a sunspot, regularly in motion and indicating years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds in roman numerals, which is part of the reason why it was a bit difficult to interpret with no previous familiarity. even more so if you're oblivious or in denial. again, lore and angst and delayed realization came with a row of light null characters in its stead. quite a bit of baggage because i love them and canon says so.

DIEGO & KLAUS, the compass ┈ more specifically, i have it jotted down as a moving indicator that appeared more or less when they were around thirteen or fourteen. it might have seemed out of the blue then, but all things considered it wasn't that unexpected, especially when you look at season one or if you too think that diego used to haul klaus from the streets or drag him to rehab if they ran into one another. anyway, their soulmark is kind of a compass if you go by its shape. it's embedded on the lower part of the palm of their right hand, towards the thumb (below klaus' hello tattoo), and it does move and spin, but instead of pointing north it points you towards the general direction of the other.

OG!BEN & VIKTOR, the blossoms ┈ the most subtle and late soul bond of them all. i like to think that the lowest numbers were close as kids, given the information we were given, so even though their relationship might have stilled a little in their teens it was still tender enough to grant viktor and ben a soul bond. they were never sure of when it happened because the only instance where the soulmark in on itself becomes visible is when they touch. physical contact equals a tiny luminescent outlined flower appearing near the knuckle of their left middle finger. to which i feel the need to remind you all of this:

so these are the soul bonds within the hargreeves siblings! without taking into account sparrow!ben (or the sparrows in general) because stars do i have something in store for pookie as well.

i was tempted to add more, but i also wanted to emphasize how there doesn't always need to be an actual, visible soulmark for a bond to be important plus i'm waiting to see if season 4 makes me add more lol. diego is a primary example of this because, without spoiling anything, he secretly craved that kind of bond as a child, even though his siblings love him just the same regardless. it's also the reason why i have a list of non-marked bonds as well as one for soul bonds featuring characters outside of the academy. there might also be a playlist somewhere, because each bond has a song in my mind, but i digress!

this has gotten super long already so for now, that's it that's all. but i'm tagging this au and working on it and my inbox is there if you uuh, wanna chat about it more? ngl it was hard not being able to rant about it with anybody, because there are some elements and facts and implications there that genuinely alter my brain chemistry daily. so thank you for the ask, nonnie! <3

[leeknow-thoughts]

୨୧ MATILDA

୨୧ cw : fem!lee know x fem!reader, college!au, homophobia, mentions of a forced marriage, fluff, angst with a happy ending, kissing, pet names

୨୧ a/n : happy pride month <3 you are loved just as you are <3

When you came out to your parents their first reaction was disgust, telling you it was just because you hadn't met the right man yet. You remember crying yourself to sleep that night and wishing for these feelings to go away.

So you suppressed the feelings you were born with. And played the role of the perfect straight daughter for your parents.

Eventually you moved off to college a few states away from your parents, yet they still kept you under a close watch. If you did get a girlfriend and they heard about it, they'd cut you off.

They called you every weekend to make sure you were still doing well and that you were making good grades in all your classes. Just like today, they called.

"Well honey, I'm glad you're doing good in all your classes. Do you happen to remember our friends, the Robinsons?" your mom's voice crackles over your phone speakers.

"Yeah, the ones with the really nice house?" you confirm.

"Yes! Them! Well they were over at our house a few days ago for dinner and they saw a recent photo of you that we had on the mantle. And they started asking about you and-" your mother rambles.

"Mom, just spit it out already!" you blurt.

"We want you to marry Gabriel."

"No," you immediately retort.

"Darling, he's a very nice boy and he has a well paying job! His parents even said they'd buy you two a house as a wedding present!"

"Mom, I said no," you stand your ground.

This time it's your father who speaks, "this is not an option y/n. Next weekend we want you to come home and meet him."

You were so angry you hung up on them immediately.

"Y/N," her voice rings in your ears as the door to your apartment jiggles open.

"Hey Lina," you greet your roommate.

You knew Lina was gay. You had met some of the girls she would have over, they were all beautiful, just like Lina was.

"I found the most perfect dining set for the apartment at the store today! I just had to get it! Oh also I thought I'd make your favorite dinner tonight if you're up for it!" she hums while placing bags on the kitchen island.

"Yeah," you softly say, "that sounds good."

"What's going on? You seem upset?" Lina asks, crossing into the living room and sitting next to you on the couch.

"My parents want me to marry this guy because his wallet is loaded," you put your face in your hands.

"Oh," Lina sighs.

"Yeah," you rub your face.

"Well, he could be really nice, maybe you should give him a chance," she hums.

You had never come out to her. You look up at her, her beautiful brown eyes, long brown hair, cat-like features, and soft skin. You had liked her since you met her. But you never acted on it, afraid of the consequences that your parents would impose upon you if they figured out you were dating a woman.

"I don't want him," your voice trembles and tears start welling up in your eyes.

"That's okay too, there are plenty of other guys out there that I'm sure are good options-"

You cut her off by gently cupping her cheek and bringing her in for a kiss.

It felt so right, so comfortable.

When she finally breaks away from the kiss she searches your eyes for a reason as to why you kissed her, "-I wish you were a boy," you mumble through tears.

"Why?" she whispers.

"Because I could love you if you were a boy," you whisper back.

"You can love me the way I am," she says it like its a proposal.

"I can't, I can't because if I do then I'll have no family, I'll be cut off financially-," you explain before she cuts you off.

"We can have our own family," she runs a hand through your hair, "you can apply for a scholarship, and I'll even help you pay for college, we can be a family," she whispers.

"Lina," you mumble.

She hums as she wipes the tears from your face.

"I love you," you confess.

"I love you too," she smiles, "since I met you I've been pretty crazy for you."

"We can be a family," you say it like its a question.

"We can be a family," she affirms and pulls you in for another soft kiss.

You hadn't spoken to your parents in almost 3 months, and the past 3 months, you have been happier than you had your entire life.

"Jagi! I'm home!" your girlfriend calls as she opens the door.

"Hey Lina," you smile when you see her walk in.

"I was thinking that tonight I'd cook one of my mom's recipes," she says as she puts down all of the grocery bags on the kitchen island.

"That sounds so yummy," you comment as you get up from your place on the couch to help her put away groceries in the kitchen.

"You changed your hair!" Lina exclaims when she finally looks at you.

"Yeah," you grin, "I figured it was time for a change."

She walks to you and runs her fingers through your freshly cut hair, "it looks super cute," she grins and gives you a peck on the lips.

But you want more than just a peck, your hands hold her waist and you kiss her slowly and tenderly.

Her hands begin roaming over your waist and it sends tingles down your spine and you start getting goosebumps from her feather-light touches.

"My jagi, so fucking pretty," she hums against your lips.

You feel a blush creep onto your cheeks at her words, when you pull apart from the kiss she just looks at you, "what?" you ask with a giggle.

"Just taking you in," her eyes rake down your form.

You didn't leave your apartment that day wanting to adopt another cat let alone 3 kittens. But you passed by a brown cardboard box on the side of the road that 3 little kittens had been abandoned in and you just couldn't resist.

You carried the box home, and gently washed the dirt off the kittens in the sink, you dried them and cuddled with them on the couch while Lina's cats started to warm up to their presence.

"Jagi! I'm home," Lina calls as she walks in the door.

One of the kittens meowed softly which caught her attention, she looks over to the couch to see you cuddling with three black kittens while watching a movie.

"I know, I know, we already have 3 cats! But I saw them in a cardboard box on the side of the road and I couldn't help but take them back here! Felix said he'd adopt one! And I'm sure we could find the other two good homes!-" you were going to continue rambling but Lina cuts you off.

"Jagi, I'm not angry, maybe we could keep one? Would you like that?" she smiles and takes a seat next to you on the couch.

One of the kittens crawls over to her lap and she gently pets it. "That one's name is Raven! And this is Midnight! And this is Salem!" you point to each of the kittens.

Tears streamed down your face as you walked down the aisle at the courtyard venue, a small wedding ceremony with your closest friends.

You both said I do, and when you kissed her you had never felt better in your life.

"You got married?!" your father's voice booms over the speakers, "to a woman!?"

"Yeah, dad, I did," you confirm.

"And you didn't invite us? Y/N Y/L/N, we're your family? How dare you. Being gay is one thing, but getting married and not inviting us is totally different," he says harshly.

"It's actually Y/N Lee now, you weren't invited because you never accepted me. So why should I have to invite you to my wedding when you don't even accept the fact that I am gay?"

"This is a mistake Y/N, I hope you can grow up and see that some day," he sighs.

"This 'mistake' is my family. My real family. My wife is my family."

"Jagi! We're home!" Lina calls as she opens the door.

"Mama!" your son squeals and runs to give you a hug.

"Hey buddy! How was your day with grandma and grandpa?" you ask.

"It was really cool! We went to the park and they even let me get two scoops of ice cream!"

"Woah! Two scoops! That means you're becoming a big kid now!" you smile at your son.

"Yeah! And mommy and I went to the store! She said she would make spaghetti tonight!" your son exclaims.

"Yeah?" you look to your wife for confirmation.

"Yeah," she nods her head.

"I'm gonna go to my room and color!" your son announces before getting up off the couch and walking to his room and shutting the door.

You sit up and join Lina in the kitchen. You hug her from behind, your arms wrapping around her middle. "I swear your parents are trying to kill us," you giggle and kiss her neck, "two scoops of ice cream means endless energy, he probably won't get to sleep easily tonight," you sigh.

"Yeah," she giggles.

"I love you," you smile giddily.

"I love you more," she returns.

"I'm glad you're not a boy," you mumble.

"Where does this come from?" she chuckles lowly.

"Our first kiss, I said I wish you were a boy," you recall, "I'm glad you aren't."

"I dunno what to say to that," she replies, "but I know that I love you."

"I know, and I love you too Lina, I love you and our family so much," you hum.

[tehamelie]

Various fine opinions on the meaning of life contained in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:

*Unionize your workplace, alternatively turn it into a pirate ship and take to the high seas. It'll piss off management either way.

*Question everything.

*Look at what you think you know from a different perspective.

*The pursuit of profit at all costs can and will ruin the meaning of any work and also make you worse at it.

*Gender roles are not necessarily assigned at birth.

*The Catholic church is not well.

"God has blessed us so much I can't afford to feed you all any longer."

*Just because you're allowed doesn't mean you should.

*You should not, and will not, die to "keep China British."

*God has many ways to cook you to death, if He wants to.

*Straight sex is so damn boring.

*Don't just stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

*Sport, like sex, only works between equal parties. Any other way and you invite horror and depravity. (That kid is definitely dead and the upperclassmen are just stomping on him anyway.)

*Actually, getting murdered playing rugby against adults two or three times your size is an excellent way to prepare you for fighting in a war.

*Even a good captain will be hated by their subordinates. This is the burden of command.

"We'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise." *is immediately struck down by literal the hand of God*

*A fighting force is better served by a single soldier who actually wants to be there than twenty men who doesn't.

*There's a fine line between keeping one's cool in a heated situation and acting like you're on a bloody different planet when people are dying in front of you.

There are less than 4500 wild tigers left in the world. The "A tiger? In Africa?!" bit is less of a joke every year.

*In less than surprising news, killing people is bad for you. (It turns out, for psychologically healthy people, doing violence really hurts you as much as the victim.)

*Where is that fish?

*Theme restaurants could do with a bit of randomly mixed themes.

*Don't be afraid to ask the most idiotic questions about things you don't understand. That's how we learn.

*Oh ho it's the meaning of liver donation I get it now.

*The Galaxy Song is fun and all but don't give in to misanthropy.

*Matter is energy, the human soul grows with care and attention, and people aren't wearing enough hats.

*Actually, the movie makes a staggering point here and buries it with distracting nonsense jokes, while also making the point that we get sidetracked from self-actualization by distracting nonsense jokes. It's a point sandwich with joke filling.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Shout out to happy penis havers, though I'm not one myself.

*M Creosote shows us that single-minded devotion to one's mission in life (eating an entire upscale French restaurant in one sitting, for example) will leave you unhappy and alone.

*Dunk antisemites in buckets of vomit.

*Gaston, the middle aged waiter, delivers a coherent personal philosophy as he walks us to the cottage where he was born. The significance of this cannot be overestimated. He decided to be a waiter, you see. Because he believes in something. It's a simple belief of giving, of loving people and bringing them joy. But be believes it with all his heart and he'll fight for the right to live the life he chose.

*If you have to die, but can choose the manner of your execution, try being hounded to death by naked women.

*See the world in a grain of sand, or a maple leaf as it were.

*Terry Pratchett was a great man and a great writer, but he's wrong about one thing: Death is relative. No, no, you can't argue away Death or shoot him, but he is subject to the laws of relativity. Consider the stars in the sky; at least one star that's visible to the naked eye I hear may be dead right now - it's 500 light years away and they think it may go supernova at any point within 500 years from now. But here, locally, the star still lives; there's no possible reality where it's gone until the light of its explosion reaches us.

*Heaven is a fantastically cheesy musical theater performance with angel santa claus strippers and a lead singer you just want to punch. Clearly we need to build something better here on Earth.

*Be nice, read books, take a walk sometimes, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Obviously.

*[The producers] hope that other fish will follow [the example of the movie] so that, in future, fish all over the world will live together in harmony and understanding, and put aside their petty differences, stop hunting and eating each other and live for a brighter, better future for all fish and those who love them. Yes, clearly this is about fish.

[brick-van-dyke]

Kingdom Hearts: Character Analysis — Kairi and Fear

Okay. I think I need to get this off my chest; I actually really deeply love Kairi's entire character and think her lack of strength and action is essential to the themes she embodies (and starting to literally break out of).

While I 100% agree there are some parts of her character that play off of the outdated archetype of "damsel in distress", I genuinely don't think it was the intention for Kairi to embody only this trope, but to embody the opposite of Riku as a character; specifically, his curiosity and lack of fear towards the unknown. To elaborate further, I believe Riku and Kairi are the two extremes that are supposed to contrast to Sora; Kairi's extreme desire for safety and Riku's extreme plunge into danger.

//Note: this will contain spoilers for the entire series, including Melody of Memory, Re:Mind, and every other game that came before it.

The Main Trio

Our initial introduction to Kairi is on dry land, safe from the wave that swallowed Riku and Sora. Sora himself arrives on shore after escaping, while Riku stays within the waves, beyond reach. While this is excellent foreshadowing, I also believe this is symbolic of each character's thematic role when compared to one another. Kairi (meaning ocean) is safely on land, meanwhile Riku (meaning land) is in the waves of the ocean, standing within danger unflinchingly. Sora is tied between the two; between the safety of land (home) and danger (exploration).

In Kingdom Hearts, land is portrayed as "worlds"; the homes of those who live within them, while "ocean" is used to describe the connections between them. From the start, the premise is to build a raft to explore. But the cast all show they have different feelings about this. Namely, Riku and Kairi. Riku is excited, unfazed and unafraid to explore. He's curious, adventurous and confident that they can handle whatever's out there. He believes the ocean beyond and between the undiscovered lands he wishes to explore to have no dangers. Kairi, on the other hand, is his polar opposite; she's unsure if they even should go at all (note: I'm not saying she's against it at all, she wants to go, but she's unsure). Her "laziness" in building the raft, her anxious laugh when Riku says it's because of her he wants to explore what's out there, her telling Sora "I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready!" and, most telling of all, one of her first bits of dialogue in the series: "Well, I'm happy here." While she wants to know where she came from, to see it, she has clear reservations about leaving her home behind; the safe place that holds no danger. She's shown being afraid far more than either Sora or Riku.

Sora is in the middle of the two. He wants to go and doesn't understand Kairi's hesitation, but he's also much more relaxed than Riku. Sora follows the two of them and shows both excitement and nervousness to a degree, but never enough to really sway him in the adventure he wants to have with his friends.

"Sora, don't ever change", when compared to "Riku's changed", really puts even more perspective into why she's a scared. Later, we discover Kairi's past may have led to her understanding of the world's dangers, unlike Sora and Riku who didn't have such experiences to go off. That being said, I think another aspect of this fear (perhaps a subconscious fear born from those experiences) is her desire for things to stay the same.

Strength in Change

Kairi isn't going on this journey to go on a life changing adventure, she's just a little curious and wants to stay with he friends. Of what we see of our interactions with her, as the audience, is that she wants the safety and for things to stay the same. The thing is though, as we see with Riku and Sora, change makes people stronger; it challenges our flaws and makes us face our own thoughts and feelings. Change is needed to grow and Kairi is terrified of the thing needed for that. It's not until Kingdom Hearts 2 that she realises that this way of doing things just isn't helping her or keeping anyone (including herself) safe. She's actually harming herself by trying so hard to not allow change to happen. "This world is too small", but Kairi herself wants it to stay small; discovered, known, safe.

While Kairi isn't weak of a person by any means, in fact she's very strong, she is held back. Not by others, but by her own fears and desire for simplicity. She may be strong to start with, but she's unable to become stronger. She is stuck, left behind, as Riku and Sora embrace change and move forward without her as she stays waiting for simplicity and safety to return.

I think the end of Kingdom Hearts starts to push this realisation a little as well. Whether Kairi likes it or not, change has happened already. She can't go back and undo what's been done, she can only accept it or ignore it. The problem is, she's still used to the habits she herself created; wait, don't rush in, run away, hide. She's used to allowing her fears to lead her back into safety, into light and warmth, while not allowing herself to grow as a person. She's clinging desperately to this desire to stay where it feels happy, safe and warm all the time. But the thing is, that's unrealistic. Bad things happen. Sometimes, you encounter things that challenge you and change your, for better or worse. Kairi's weakness itself stems from her resistance to any change that may actually be good for her because she's so afraid of the bad.

She doesn't want to grow, to be an adult, or acknowledge the scary parts of life that are a part of growing up. It's even more telling how she ends up in Neverland of all places when she's thrown off Destiny Islands. She is the most childish of the three, not because of how she acts, but because of her fear of aging into an adult. She wants things to stay simple and pleasent.

It isn't until Kingdom Hearts 3 that she really realises just how impossible it is to cling to not changing. She realises that she needs to face her own fears of change to grow; to become stronger and catch up to Sora and Riku who embraced what she couldn't until now.

Princesses of Heart

There is also another matter I need to bring up; what is a Princess of Heart? It is consistently noted that these are the purest of hearts, but it isn't really stated that this requires them to have absolutely no darkness in their heart whatsoever. I think it's easy to forget this since Maleficent said "Her heart is filled with light—not the slightest touch of darkness." But considering the implications from the rest of the series and the reinforced notion that light cannot exist without a tiny bit of darkness, I believe this was more of a mistake on Maleficent's part, perhaps born of envy for Aurora? It could also easily be a mistranslation, although I do not know Japanese well enough to know whether or not this is a translation issue. Regardless, it's important to remember that "there is darkness within every heart" is a constant theme pushed in this series. There is no person capable of not having any flaws or fears, not even a princess of a heart.

This also goes for Kairi, who we see has clear fears and flaws. Many of which have directly led to her being unable to obtain the strength she sees Sora and Riku having due to them not being held back by the idea that change is inherently a scary and dangerous thing. It's also another interesting opposite to Riku who represents the light within darkness, while Kairi is a heart of light with a lot of darkness deep down.

The Three Questions

At the beginning of the first Kingdom Hearts game, Sora is asked a question from 3 people within the starting dream, each having 3 answers. While it is true that gameplay wise it's there to effect stats based on what answers you give, I think there's a possibility of some foreshadowing as well. Though that's more just speculation on my part. Here are the questions and answers for those who don't remember what they were exactly:

Tidus: "What are you so afraid of?"

"Getting old."

"Being different."

"Being indecisive."

Wakka: "What do you want outta life?"

"To see rare sights."

"To broaden my horizons."

"To be strong."

Selphie: "What's most important to you?"

"Being number one."

"Friendship."

"My prized possessions."

"Getting old", "to be strong" and "my prized possessions" all remind me of Kairi. Her fear of change, her desire to not be helpless and gain strength and, finally, her using objects to project said fears and self doubts onto.

Memories and Objects

As noted in the above, Kairi often uses objects to cope with her fears. Primarily, her good luck charm made of thalassa shells. Although she does also use other items as well; her necklace (memento of her past in Radiant Garden), poetry, letters, etc. These are all great ways to connect and to keep memories close to her using a physical object for this, but they also could be a sign she's also afraid of losing what she has and feels more at ease making physical reminders of the people, places and things she loves.

It's also possible this stems from forgetting her memories of Reading Garden and, as a result, she may fear forgetting those she loves. This could also explain her development in Kingdom Hearts 2, perhaps "remembering" Sora pushed her past her fears upon realising that staying in her safe place (the Islands) and holding onto reminders didn't protect the memories she wanted to cling to.

The first thing she says after things calm down and she's able to talk to Sora is "this is real". It could be that she was afraid that her own memories weren't real enough and she needed that physical reassurance. It's also why she needed to hug him, to understand that it isn't false and it hadn't been taken away. Despite everything, she hadn't forgotten those important to her again.

Interestingly enough, Ventus also shares the exact same coping mechanism, which makes sense given his similarities to Kairi and his own amnesia. This likely lead to him subconsciously seeking reassurance in the same ways Kairi does. This will likely be a huge part of the two's development, or at least, I very much suspect it will be. Ventus was able to grow past it due to his journey and curiousity, but Kairi is still growing and only recently realised that change is okay. Their friendship will likely be what pushes Kairi to become the strongest version of herself and mature into herself.

Journey of Agency

Kairi's hesitation to take control of her own situation and return to the safety of what she knows has unquestionably left her hindered in her desire to stay by the side of Riku and Sora. However, since her memory of Sora being lost and returned, her realisation in Kingdom Hearts 2 and then at the end of Dream Drop Distance and in Kingdom Hearts 3 with her introduction into the same dangers and change she's actively avoided, Kairi has grown. She's realised that waiting and allowing herself to just be led around because it's what been safe before now doesn't mean it'll work when she's being left behind and others are getting hurt trying to protect that self imposed safety. She has to run into danger herself and learn what it means to be independent if she wants to stand by the side of those she loves.

And finally, at the end of her journey in Melody of Memory and reclaiming her lost memories of Radiant Garden, she finally faces exactly that which scares her most; her memories of "Ansem" or Apprentice Xehanort who used her, forced he to lose everything once before and most importantly caused the fear that began everything for her. She's no longer just taking steps now, she's facing what caused it directly. This is probably the most powerful of any development for Kairi, it's what may define if she is able to break free of that fear or become defined by it.

It's also a stark reminder that she's still not where she wants to be, she's still defined by the weakness of being left behind due to her own fears. That's why, at the very end when she chooses to start training with Aqua, it's shown that Kairi finally chooses to change. She finally wants to become more than what she's limited herself to; she's finally ready to face her own weaknesses and grow.

Kairi's development could very well lead her to being the one to really push the narrative with the coming arc. While Sora and Riku are struggling with their own flaws (which I'll explain in a different post), Kairi will start to move forward. That being said, I think it's only because of the slow development of learning that what she was doing was harming her and ultimately leaving her behind and alone. I think this will also be a vital theme in the current arc where the main villains goal is to destroy darkness; Kairi's realisation that her own pain and fear were part of her growth may very well be the key in stopping him. Though that's just my own suspicions, not what canon has presented us with at this stage.

Conclusion.

Regardless, I for one am excited to see where Kairi's development goes. Her self discovery is fascinating and her arc is very different to the character arcs I've seen. Her entire story is compelling and I think Kairi's depth is something easily overlooked because of its starting atypical themes and structure (running from change and thus being weaker, rather than growing in strength after adversities). I think her journey of how to even start growing stronger when you're stuck frozen in fear is an important and powerful message, it's also just extremely interesting. I love Kairi so much and I hope this helps people look more closely at her characterisation.