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My Little Darling | Alessia Russo
A/N: Hey y'all sorry this took a while but work got busy and didn't get a chance to work on anything. My French is rusty so please be kind.
I still remember how you told me how you would always be there for me
Warnings: language, injury
Word count: 2298
Alessia and I had met at our first team meeting at UNC and it seemed that all the international students just gravitated together. The other girls got a kick out of the French accent that came out when I introduced myself in English to the rest of the team.
I was desperate for friends, as were the other international girls, so I found myself getting close with the English players, Lotte Wubben-Moy and Alessia Russo, who was half Italian too as I came to find out. I loved them even though they did poke fun at the fact that France didnât make it to the U-17 World CupâŠjoked that we wouldâve met sooner.Â
It was nice experiencing America with them and I found myself enjoying the little moments with the both of them, especially Alessia. I wouldnât dare ruin a friendship that early, I mean why would she even be attracted to meâŠwe had just met a month ago at that point in time.
A little quirk of mine is that I gave people nicknames, usually some animal but in French that reminded me of my teammates. Lotte, I fondly called, hibou or owl. You got to admit it when she is all focused and everything when she is at the defensive line her eyes narrow like a little owl.Â
I hadnât given one to Alessia only calling her Less, Lessie, Ali, or just simply Russo. She noticed, of course, pushing when the three of us were having a movie night at my dorm room.
âWhy donât I have a nickname?â Alessia poked my shoulder as we had just put on a random comedy on Netflix to watch. We were procrastinating on essays we had to all write for the same class but hey it was due in a week so we had time.
I furrow my eyebrows with confusion, âWhat? You have a nickname, I call you Less, Lessie, sometimes AliâŠâ I poke her back âSoooo, technically you have more than oneâ
Alessia let out a huff as she got comfortable and laid her head on my shoulder as Lotte also got comfortable on the other side of me.
âNo, I meant a french nickname, like Lotte has oneâŠdo you not like me?â Alessia pouted as she looked up to me feigning sadness.
I roll my eyes and look at Lotte on the other side of me, âMa petite hibou, can you believe her? She thinks I donât like herâŠas if we are not watching a movie in my dormitoryâ. This earned a laugh from the other English girl.Â
Alessia lifted her head and pushed my shoulder, âSee, you call her âYour little owlâ, when can I get a cute nickname like that?â
Lotte raised her head, âwait, is that what that means? You calling me an owl?â I completely ignored her.
âLess, it just hasnât come to me yetâŠbut you keep yapping about itâŠIâll call you canard, which is duck by the wayâ. A laugh escaped me before I finished the sentence as Alessia gave up and leaned her head back on my shoulder as we continued to watch the movie.
______________________________________________________________
Love is weirdâŠyeah, I would say so. When I was Alessia there was a calmness that I couldnât compare with Lotte. Donât get me wrong I love ma petit hibou, but Alessia was different.
Sheâs driven and she always had this look in her eyes that only held a certain softness when she was looking at me.
She was there for me when I got my call-up for the French U-20 team just how our coaches had predicted.
Lotte couldnât make it to our regular weekly movie night in my dorm but encouraged Alessia and I to ânot do it because of herâ.
We had finished the movie an hour ago and now were on some random episode of Stranger things. Alessia had migrated from leaning her head on my shoulder, as she always did, to laying her head on my lap, my finger gently combing her hair without a care in the world.
It was soothing and then my phone began vibrating in my pocket.
âAllo?, oui câest elle. OuiâŠah Merci, oui merci pour l'opportunitĂ©, câest un honneur pour moi! Oui merci, âŠalorsâŠ. quoiâŠquoi, merciâŠau revoirâ (hello?, yes this is she, yes...ah thank you, yes thank you for the opportunity, it's an honor for me. Yes thank you...so...yes..yes...thank you.. goodbye)
Alessia had rolled over to look up at me and giggled, âso I only got âthank youâ from all thatâŠwho was that?â
I couldnât stop smiling, âI got called up for the French U-20 team! Can you believe that?â
Alessia immediately got up and with a smile grabbed both sides of my face, âThatâs amazing and of course I fucking believe that!â
All thoughts I had in that moment disappeared, I mean how could I even think when my whole world was in front of me. Alessiaâs laugh broke me from my trance.
âWell, now I got to get called up for England, then weâll be rivals..isnât that absolutely wildâ one of her thumbs now gently caressing my cheek.
I lean into her caress, âAlessia, what are you thinking about?âÂ
She tilts her head, as if she was observing my face to see how I will react.
âIâm thinking of how proud I am of you, really I amâŠand um..ofâŠhow much I want to kiss you right nowâ.
Alessia laughs as she feels my cheeks heat up in hands and my eyes widen.
âWell can I?â She asks as she pulls me closer.
With only a nod from me, Alessia brings her soft lips to mine. I had dreamed of doing that for so long that again my mind was empty yet filled with everything.
As she pulled back, her forehead resting against mine she whispered,
âNo matter what happensâŠwhatever this becomes, Iâll always be there for youâ her fingers threading my hair as she continued to look at me.
âMa petit chou, thatâs your nicknameâŠmy little darlingâŠno matter what happens you will always be thatâ I said quietly as I brought her in for another kiss.
24 August 2018
With another thud to the ground and frustrated groan, I swatted away any hands that attempted to assist me as I got up for probably the fourth time that game, not getting any cards given to the players knocking me down including once from Alessia. She gave me a gentle sorry as she helped me up even though I turned her down initially. I wanted to play against England in the final but it seems we both found ourselves fighting for 3rd place. Alessia and I hadnât texted since the competition started and maybe only had a phone call here and there. The only time I saw her in person was right there in the tunnel before the start of the game.Â
We were losing 1-0 and we were desperately trying to equalize, which meant I was pushing more up the field than usual.Â
I was frustratedâŠjustifiablyâŠso I pushed even harder. I just did not expect to be taken down in the box. I lay face down gasping for any sort of air to return to me after the impact. Groaning also at the sting and sharp soreness near my right knee. The whistle from the referee signaling a penalty for my fall returned me to reality.
âHey, you alright?â I heard muffled and a gentle touch to my face that I immediately recognized as Alessia. Her tone worried as she grabbed my hand.Â
âHey, hey, babyâŠIâm here ok? Iâm hereâ I felt her hand gently holding mine as I finally was able to breathe slowly.
âMerde, elle saigne, mĂ©decin! (Shit, sheâs bleeding, medic!)â I heard one of my teammates yell.
As the medics approached to wrap up my knee from the scrape, I felt Alessiaâs hand leave mine.Â
The penalty went in and we equalized. The energy was back but it didnât end the way we wanted. Penalty shoot outs were never my favorite. Mine went in and Alessiaâs didnât but it didnât matter what I did because we lost in the end.
I remained sitting on the field feeling disappointed that I couldnât have done more to at least get 3rd place.
I felt a familiar weight on my shoulder and a gentle hand grab mine.
âHey..â Alessia said quietly as she heard the sniffle come from me.
âHeyâŠma petit chouâ I look at her with a sad smile, tears threatening to fall as I leaned my head on hers.
âIâm so proud of you, you know?â she said interlacing her fingers with mine.
I only nod as the tears fall, âgo celebrate, Iâll be okâÂ
Alessia laughed a little as she shook her head, âno, I told you, Iâd be there for youâŠeven nowâŠthey can celebrate without meâ.Â
Media reported the pictures of Alessia and I on the field as a showing of support between two UNC teammatesâŠLotte would tease us upon our return and would yell âwhat a lovely showing between teammatesâ whenever Alessia and I would hold hands.Â
______________________________________________________________________________
I was called up to the senior French team in 2019 and was able to play in my first World Cup. Alessia and Lotte watched from afar still participating in our university team while I was away.Â
After the loss against the US eliminating us from the World Cup, I returned to ma petit chou who was waiting in my apartment with a cozy blanket and warm chocolate chip cookies from McDonaldâs all set up for me. I wasnât one to immediately tear up at a sight but the moment I entered the dimly lit apartment I couldnât hold back.
Alessia loves deeply is what I came to discover and being close to the person she loved was important to her. It was important for me too. We both agreed that we wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves and not really post about it. We played together and lost together. I was there for her injury and she was there for mine. Which is why is was so hard to leave her.
2020 was filled with uncertainty especially because of COVID. Alessia and I were planning on leaving UNC along with Lotte to pursue a career back in Europe. Alessia went to Man United and Lotte went to Aresenal leaving me to go to Lyon.Â
I wonât say that we didnât try the distance but it became too much for us especially with our budding careers in our respecting countries. We stopped the relationship with a promise of keeping in touch whenever we couldâŠwe didnât.Â
A secret relationship remained a secret to the fans and the general public. We were former university teammates just liking each other's posts and commenting a blue heart every so often. It never went past that. The 2022 Euros came and wentâŠan awkward âcongratulations on the Euro winâ was sent, read and not replied to. I mean I wouldnât haveïżœïżœ so I donât blame her since the last message between us was from 2020.Â
______________________________________________________________
I never handled injuries wellâŠI isolated myself and Alessia was always there to accompany me. Since we separated, I hadnât had a serious injury until 2023.
I knew I shouldâve rested during after starting in every game in the group stagesâŠI shouldâve listened to my teammates but I didnât want a repeat of 2019 with Australia.Â
Sometimes you just knowâŠas soon as I hit the ground in the latter part of the second halfâŠI knew it was THAT tear. I laid there as the tears fell as the pain set in, desperately trying to find a hand to hold but only finding grassâŠ
I donât remember being put on the stretcher or anything that was said to meâŠnothing was familiar to me. They confirmed that it was a tear and I would be heading out back to Lyon to get the surgery and recover there. It didnât matter really, we ended up losing in penaltiesâŠfunny how history repeats itselfâŠonly difference was Alessia wasnât there.Â
______________________________________________________________
I remained in my hotel room, turning away any of my teammates who tried to stay with meâŠI just wanted to be aloneâŠ
I saw the result of the England/Colombia game and went through my phone until I found her number. It went straight to voicemailâŠ
âHey ma petit chou, congratulations on the win and getting a goalâŠI-uhâŠmiss you a lot especially now. I donât know if you saw but its an ACL tear and Iâm cooped up in my hotel roomâŠI still remember how you told me how you would always be there for me and-â
I choke back the tears threatening to fall but the pause was telling enough. âI just really need to hear you right now, so give me a call back because I do miss you and I canât do this without you.âÂ
I end the call, immediately regretting my decision. I close my eyes hoping that the pain medication would kick in and I dont know how long I was out before I heard someone enter my hotel room.
I groan at the source of the noise
 âGo awayâ I wave my hand to whomever entered.
I stop immediately once I hear her small laugh.
âWell, I canât possibly eat these cookies all on my own now can I?â I open my eyes and see Alessia with a small box of cookies. My face softened and my arms beckoned her to come to me.Â
She gently held me like she always had and caressed my cheek wiping away the tears that had begun to fall
 âHeyâŠIâm here nowâ is all she whisperedâŠoh how I missed my little darling.Â
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6:37 pm
word count - 907 words
warnings - kuroo is a loser also shitty writing, not proof read much
a/n - happy bday kuroo this is ass lowkey but i'm sorry i'm trying my best. i hate university i'm so busy and stressed but at least my suitemate got a kitty and she's so soft and warm and cute slay
anyways yeah kuroos a loser with no rizz...sorry. he's kicking his feet and giggling over 1 (one) interaction
there was a man. in your spot. at the library.
it was (unfortunately) finals week, meaning you were one more quiz away from a certified crash out, and one more discussion post away from taking a swan dive off the closest bridge. your left eye was twitching, you were running on less than the healthy 8 hours of sleep, and you were drinking your second energy drink of the day.
you were supposed to go to the library on campus to Your Spot, the one you have reigned supreme over for the past few months. it was quiet, on the 4th floor, away from everybody working on group projects below. it was secluded, off in the corner. it had a nice charging block with multiple outlets available, and it had a pretty view of some trees with some sunlight that would warm you as day faded into night.
it was perfect. it was beautiful.
and it was currently being taken by some guy.
your eye twitched again. you debated shoving him out of your chair, or pouring your drink over his computer, or maybe just glaring at him and biting his shoulder like a rabid animal (the aforementioned crash out from above), but you recognize that starting and escalating an altercation is not productive, and also that a homicide charge won't add anything to your gpa.
so you sighed, resigned, before making your way to the empty table a few feet from Your Spot. but you decided to do some investigative research (read: spying) to figure out what could possibly be so important for this man to study that he needed to take Your Spot. you quickly peek over his shoulder, scanning for his notes and computer.
ânet profitâŠstatistical probabilityâŠessay forâŠâ
your eye twitches again. statistical probability? net profit? no fucking way Your Spot was taken by a business major?? a finance bro? an absolute buffoon?? did they even have finals, other than a coloring page?Â
fuck you, mysterious business guy. fuck you.Â
you were just about to leave when your eyes left his desk-
-and locked eyes with him.Â
he...he caught you staring!!
wait. no. you caught him stealing your spot, and then you decided to snoop a bit, rightfully so! he's in the wrong here!!
"um, do you need something?" he asked, an easy smile on his lips.Â
his eyes were hazel with golden depths, and though his hair was messy and his eyes tired, you could still see the gleam of a piercing (and honestly, kind of hot) look to them.Â
"...no," you say.Â
"you can have this table, if you want," he said, beginning to pack up. "i'm almost done here anyway."Â
"oh no, you don't have to-"
"but don't you sit here everyday to study?" he whispered, standing up. you realized just then how tall he was.Â
you catch his words after a second (you were not distracted by the height difference!), and stare at him hard. "what are you, a stalker? how do you know where i sit?"
he shrugged, zipping up his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. "well you sit in the same spot on the same floor like clockwork every night, so it's kind of hard not to not notice."
you rack your brain, trying to remember if you ever saw a guy like him sitting nearby you in the library. it would be hard to forget someone who looked like him (respectfully, and because he is tall and for no other reason!!!), but for some reason, you couldn't remember seeing him at all. maybe he really was a stalker?? "well why did you decide to take my spot then anyway, stalker?" you huff, annoyed.Â
he had started leaving by now, and brushed your shoulder on the way out. he looked over his shoulder with a smile full of charm.Â
"because i wanted an excuse to talk to someone pretty like you, of course," he said with a grin. "see you next week."
he left his crush standing jaw open as he nonchalantly scurried away. jesus christ, he never realized just how hard his heart would beat when he spoke to you.
he liked how focused you looked when you worked on your assignments, or how your finger tapped restlessly against your pencil when you came across something difficult. it was just a little school crush, really, and he shouldn't be looking too much into it. but when he got to the library today and saw someone had stolen his spot a few tables away, meaning that he could sit in yours and get an excuse to talk to you...well, he was just a little bit giddy.
he opened the old groupchat from his high school days. a lot of his friends from nekoma were busy with their own lives, but they still kept in touch to this day.
kuroo: guess who go to talk to their crush todayyyy yaku: you finally gained the guts? wow, how impressive. i'm sure they're head over heels for you now. kai: congratulations on saying hi!! kenma: stalker kuroo: i hate all of you.
he couldn't contain his little giggle. maybe next time, he would have the confidence to ask to sit next to you.
#haikyuu!!#oshy writes#kuroo testuro#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo fluff#kuroo headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#kuroo x you
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.9 K Warnings: none Prompt: Why is it that potions is always so problematic? Not proofread
Chapter 68: Mysteries and Mayhem
Friday, 14th, 1977
âI think we have to tell her,â Evan said as he threw the quaffle towards the canopy of the bed and caught it again.Â
âWe donât have to tell her anything,â Barty retorted. He was working on Evanâs desk and had his back to him. He always revised Evanâs essays since Evan had mild dyslexia and a tendency to confuse the names of some ingredients along with the position of TH and HT at the end of some words. Evan was brilliant at Potions, but the memoir writing had always been tricky for him.Â
âShe would tell us if she knew about something like this,â he said as he caught the ball and threw it upwards again. Regulusâ snitch was floating around the room since it had accidentally gotten out from its chest when Evan opened it to take the quaffle. It always helped him destress to play with it, but he never bothered with the snitch, he thought it was too small and a pain in the ass to chase.  Â
âShe wouldnât tell us shit,â Barty responded. âShe doesnât like to meddle.âÂ
âBut she has meddled, and in our favour, you know this!âÂ
âPlease stop it with the quaffle,â Barty said with a sigh. Evan stopped throwing it and placed it on the side of the bed, now rolling it around with his hand. âItâs none of our business what they do behind closed doors. And we would be outing those two if we told her.âÂ
âHow would you feel, I was cheating on you with Dorcas?âÂ
âIâd break her neck,â Barty retorted without hesitation.
Evan wasnât entirely sure if he meant it as a joke or not, but chose to believe he did. âRight, see? She should know!âÂ
âSheâs the dumb one for not noticing.âÂ
âIt is not something you normally expect. Especially not if you were born in the wizarding elite.âÂ
âEvan,â Barty whined. âWhy should we care? Weâve done our good deed of the century by shutting stupid Severus up about it.âÂ
âIâm gonna tell her,â Evan said with determination.Â
âAnd youâll just accomplish what Severus wanted.âÂ
âI know you donât like herââÂ
âYou donât like her either.âÂ
âWell, sheâs conceited and loves to rub how good she is at flying but⊠I never expected her to help me the way she did.âÂ
âSo what? Youâre gonna go braid each otherâs hair, is that it?â Evan threw the quaffle at Bartyâs head, the latter got the hit unexpectedly and turned around to him as he gasped. âYouâre such a git! Iâm trying to check your homework.âÂ
âYouâre no better,â Evan retorted. âItâs justâ I wouldnât want people laughing behind my back.âÂ
âMaybe she knows and theyâre using her as a cover,â Barty said, although he didnât believe it.
âImpossible. Sheâs for sure in love with that dick. I mean I knew he was an asshole butââ Â
âNot to the point of using someone like that?â Barty offered. âI think we really shouldnât meddle. Weâve somehow reached a ceasefire, you donât want to start shooting again, do you?â
âShe helped me! Even after the fire, my dad seemed pleased at the insinuation that weâ you know.â Â
Barty sighed, standing from the desk and walking towards his bed, the same bed Evan considered as his own most of the time. âIf you really want to tell her, then Iâll come along with you.âÂ
Evan smiled and lifted himself up to press a short kiss on Bartyâs lips. As they were pulling apart the door busted open and Barty appeared a book on his lap and started saying something about a spell.Â
âItâs just Regulus,â Evan said as he tilted his head to the side. âDidnât you see the busy sign on the door?âÂ
âI did,â Regulus responded. âDecided to ignore it, though.âÂ
âI swear it runs in the family,â Evan said with an eye roll. He liked Regulus, but that didnât stop him from thinking he was a bit of an entitled prick, much like his brother.Â
And Evan himself, according to Barty. Who in turn, was also considered one by the rest of his class. Either way, they consider themselves an acquired taste, after all, Evan had hated Bartyâs guts before falling in love.Â
âShhh...â Regulus said as he lifted his hand. âI think I hear something?â
âWhat?â Asked Evan.
âThe sound of two tossers who are about to go use someone else's room to make out.âÂ
âBitch,â Barty said as he threw the quaffle his way.
Regulus was fast enough to dodge and then noticed his snitch floating around. âFor Salazarâs sake! How many times have I told you not to let the Little Star out?âÂ
âLittle Star?â Evan asked.Â
âThe snitch,â Retorted Barty a little exasperated.Â
âYou named your snitch little star?â Evan asked in disbelief. âIs that because youâre the big star? Youâre such a nerd!â Regulus flipped his wand, the green covers on Bartyâs bed slipped from beneath him and threw him on the floor. âA mean nerd.âÂ
Fridays could have been your favourite day of the week, your first class was at 9 rather than at 7, which meant you didnât have to wake up remarkably early, even if you were still doing practice flying with James and Sirius. And although classes didnât end early, your last class was among your favourites, and the one before lunch was Magic Theory, which meant more time to spend playing around. The real problem was the 9 am class, divination.Â
Youâd gotten used to Spellman, and it seemed like he had also gotten used to you. The pressure that he seemed to be putting on you at the beginning of the course had slowly dissipated, and even if you still had good grades in his class, since youâd seen most divination techniques with your previous teacher, he seemed to focus a lot more on Sybil, which you were insanely grateful for.
And unlike you, Sybil seemed to actually want to pursue a career in divination, which Spellman supported as dutifully as any good teacher would.Â
âHey!â She said as you walked inside. You had a bottle of almost boiling green tea in hand since the day had been pretty chilly while flying and even after Lily cast that warming charm over your coat, you were still shivering slightly.Â
âHi!â you retorted with a smile as you sat beside her. Since that one class when youâd gotten paired, you had been working together on every single class, which you thought was excellent.Â
Sybilâs father, Deplhus Trelawney, was an unofficial member of the order, and heâd told Sybil whatâd happened at the party. Besides, it didnât take an empath to notice how it had flipped your world almost upside down. So she avoided the basic âHow did your break go?â question since she knew it would be a terrible one. It was obvious that it had gone mostly like shit. It did make her feel better that you looked like you were coping, whoever it was that you were.Â
âWant some tea? Itâs got a little bit of milk.âÂ
âSure,â she said with a smile and pulled a mug from the cupboard. Those were technically for divination, but some students used them every once in a while for their morning coffee, and since that was the one thing that kept some awake, Spellman allowed it. As you served she noticed the wand youâd placed on the side of your desk. She stared at it for a second and then turned back to you.Â
âI can explain that,â you rushed out, almost stumbling with your words.Â
âIâm glad you have it,â she said with a smile. âIâd hate it if it had been lost at their hands.âÂ
âYou know aboutââÂ
âI know enough,â she replied. âWe donât have to talk about that, though.âÂ
You nodded with a small smile, âThanks.âÂ
âNothing to thank me for,â she said simply.Â
âHow was your break?â you asked.Â
âWe stayed home,â she responded. âWe had dinner and then a small tea ceremony at New Yearâs. Grandma thinks itâs the best way to start the year.â
âDoesnât she read your star chart? Mine used to do that.âÂ
âOh certainly.âÂ
âAnything good?âÂ
âShe said this might be the year my talents finally bloom,â Sybil said sceptically. âSheâs a brilliant divinator on everything else, but sheâs been telling me that since I was 13.âÂ
You laughed. âMy mom sheââ There was a small hesitation before you continued. Still not used to living in a world where she didnât. Youâd been in boarding schools since you were eleven, and although you were relatively used to her absence, it had never been this long without a letter, or a message, or any type of contact. âShe used to say that it was going to be the year I got good at herbology every year.âÂ
âDid it ever happen?âÂ
âStill waiting,â you retorted with a half smile. âShe, on the other hand, isâ was really good at it. We used to have a stunning garden, and sheâd often get angry about me plucking her stuff for make believe potions.âÂ
She was about to say something when Professor Spellman walked inside the classroom, his robe trailing behind him in that elegant manner that it tended to have whenever he walked inside a room. âThis is not a picnic Miss Doxon, please put your cookies in your bag or Iâll vanish them.âÂ
ââM sorry,â she retorted as she placed one of the cookies in her mouth and placed the rest on her bag.Â
Spellman nodded, walking straight to the middle of the classroom before eying everyone. âHow long have we kept this sitting arrangement?â he asked.Â
âMost of the year,â responded a Ravenclaw boy. âI was actually wondering if we would change soon.âÂ
âDivination is often done better when you keep your partner, it becomes easier since you already know a good deal about them,â Sybil said.
âSo weâre not changing?â asked Beth.
âNot quite,â Spellman said later. âAlthough we have had some wonderful pairs so far, for this class in particular itâs better to work with someone to whom youâve never divined before.âÂ
You threw a look at Sibyl who just shrugged. She was curious about who sheâd be divining for. Hoping it wouldnât be someone to closed off to the art, which was, unfortunately, rather common.
âWhat are we going to work with, Professor?â asked Tom.Â
âSpanish Deck,â he replied rather somberly.Â
You looked up at him as if you were a deer trapped in headlights. Reading someoneâs cards was something you thought youâd ever have to do again. Sybil looked at you apprehensively. âSir, can I keep working with my partner? I think weâre both quiteââÂ
âIâm sorry Sybil, It is not possible, your deep knowledge of each other might taint the cards.â
âBut weâre all friends,â said Tom. âWe all have a pretty deep knowledge of each other.â Â
âNot in divination,â said Spellmam calmly. âPlease, stand up and make two lines. The left will take runes from this side and the right from this one.âÂ
You walked into the line in which Sybil wasnât, but Spellman caught it and put the two of you in the same line seconds later. âIâm sorry, but you cannot be in the same team,â he said to you as he placed his hand on your shoulder and lightly pushed you to the other line.Â
As you walked through the line, you crossed your fingers, almost begging the gods of chance that you didnât get anyone you were close to. You took your stone, it was one of the trickiest characters in the Norse Alphabet. Two lines with an X in the middle: degaz.Â
âIâve got Isa,â said Sybil, who got paired with Lily.Â
âI have Jara,â said Sirius, and ended up with Tom.Â
âItâs an R,â said Peter.Â
âDo you mean Raido?â asked Remus as he showed him his stone, the two of them got together.Â
Marlene and Mary were paired with some Ravenclaws and Beth with one of her roommates. You thought you were safe, that you wouldnât have to read the fortune of any of your friends when James pulled his stone up in the air and asked. âDoes anyone have Degaz?âÂ
You closed your eyes in defeat, a small frown adorning your face as you opened them again. âMe,â you said as you lifted your stone.
âLovely,â James said as he approached you with a smile. âHave you ever read the Spanish Deck?âÂ
âYeah,â you responded. âBut Iâd much rather be the one that gets a read and not the other way around?âÂ
âSure,â James said with a shrug and a nod. He could tell there was something that made you uneasy, and while he didnât really care for getting his cards read, it wasnât a huge deal for him to do the reading.Â
Spellman flipped his wand and the chairs changed their places, they were now one in front of the other instead of side by side. âPlease take your seats,â he said. âThe books on Spanish Deck will be on your desks shortly.âÂ
Since Lily and Sybil took the chair you normally used, James and you walked towards the one in the back where he usually sat with Sirius.Â
âPlease shuffle the cards, Madame,â he said after he dug his finger into the flap of the side of the small box, pulled them out and moved the whole deck towards you. âThese are kind of worn, though,â he said as he spotted some scribblings on the side of one and flipped it back into place.Â
âItâs better when they are,â you said as you took them in your hands. You started to shuffle them mindlessly, not bothering to look at them while you spoke. âThe more time theyâve been shuffled the more magic theyâre imbued with. Of course, itâs better when the deck belongs to one witch and not the entire school, since that can make them a bit unpredictable but either way, the older they are, the better they become atââÂ
âHow are you doing that?â James asked as you flipped the cards from one side to the other, he seemed completely enthralled by the way you were shuffling them. âSince when can you shuffle like this? Why didnât I know?âÂ
âOh,â you said as you finally noticed what you were doing. âThey made me read these a lot in my older school. I got fidgety sometimes. Tarot too, but you canât shuffle them as much since theyâre thicker.â
âStill theyâre easier to read,â James said as he flipped through some of the pages in the book that had floated towards the table a few minutes earlier. âThese all have so many different meanings. I mean the 2 of clubs means that you might travel but the third means love, and the 6 means despondency and destruction. It makes zero sense.âÂ
âThe third kind of does,â you said as you pulled out the card for him to see. Three clubs tied to each other with a thick ribbon. âDoesnât it remind you of the ties and connections related to love?âÂ
âI donât knowâŠâ James responded with a shrug, âI guess it kind of does.âÂ
You flipped the card back into the deck and shuffled it by splitting it into two smaller lots, placing them on the table, taking one end and allowing cards from both sides to fall on the table at the same time, having them entwine together, and then turning your hands and flipping them all into one single stack.Â
âThatâs it,â James said as you handed them back to him. âYouâll be the dealer next time we play cards, no objections.â You laughed and shook your head as he looked back at the book. He placed them on the table again. âPlease divide them in three.âÂ
You did, and afterwards knocked on each stack once as you said âFor me, For my past and for what Iâd like to know.âÂ
âOh, thanks,â James said when he noticed what youâd done. âUh⊠Which type of throw was that for?âÂ
âGypsy, thatâs a 9 by 4.â You responded. âYou throw them starting on the left, and when youâre done with that row you continue on the right, making a long chain, or a snake, I suppose.âÂ
James gave you a small side smirk and started placing the cards one by one, facing him. When he was done he looked up at you, adjusting his glasses and biting the side of his cheek.Â
âWell go on,â you said.Â
âIt says you can assign cards to peopleâŠâÂ
âIâm the 8 of swords,â you told him. âIâm always the 8 of swords.â
âWhy?â Asked James curiously.Â
âIâve been told it represents me,â you retorted.
âAh, itâs because youâre stubborn,â he said as he found the page with the cardâs explanation.Â
âItâs perseverance, Prongs!âÂ
âPerseverance, tenacity, stubbornness⊠theyâre all the same thing in different degrees of intensity.âÂ
You laughed as you shook your head. âFine then, youâre here,â he pointed at the card. âAnd this throw is about your past, right?âÂ
âYeah,â you said, nodding. âAt least on this technique, weâre supposed to make three throws.â You looked back at the cards. âWhat do you see?âÂ
âEh, well⊠you look⊠sad,â he said as he noticed the sheer amount of clubs beside your card. There was a 6 right next to you, and on the other side, there was a four of swords. âThat means trouble, right?â He asked as he pointed at it.Â
âYeah,â you said, being completely appalled and in deep sorrow was quite on par with how youâd been not too long ago.Â
âThereâs also aâ a trip,â he started, pointing at the 2 of clubs below you, and just under that there was a 6 of cups. âCups!â he said excitedly. âCups are meant to be good, right?âÂ
âNot those,â you said. âItâs a trip to melancholy, sadness over bad memories,â you explained, which was also quite accurate, and not new to either of you.Â
âRight, but next to these swords we have a three of clubs, that means love, yeah?âÂ
âBut itâs next to the swords that indicate trouble,â you said as you pointed at the swords next to it. âIt means trouble with relationships. And that 5 of swords on the other side, with the middle sword pointing straight towards the clubs? It means break up and changes.âÂ
âAre you kidding me?â he asked in disbelief. âIs there anything good on this throw?â There was a small minute of silence before he spoke again. âThis one has to mean something good, thereâs a lot of gold at the top. And sixes are bad, but thatâs to the top left, so it means that the bad stuff was in the past, right?âÂ
âYeah, 6 of gold means problems, but itâs next to an 8 thatâs right on top of me.âÂ
âThat meansââ he flipped through some pages. âthought and reflection, and that has a 5 of gold afterwards, which means settlement, and resolution. And⊠you have to hear this: The discovery of a significant emotional bond.âÂ
âMust have been the mirror,â you said as you looked at the coins. âAnd the fact that I figured the whole thing out with Remus and Sirius.âÂ
âAre they here?â he asked as he looked at the cards. Â
âProbably,â you responded as you looked around. âMust be these two, look,â you said as you pointed at the gold knight, whose face was turned towards you from your down left, and the knight of swords who was next to him. âSee how the horses are looking at each other but theyâre avoiding each otherâs gaze?âÂ
âMhm,â James nodded.Â
âItâs because theyâre in love, the horse represents their heartâs true desires, I think. The 4 of cups under Remus represent his⊠um⊠desire. And the 4 of clubs under Sirius represent his resistance to it.âÂ
âYou really are good at this,â he said as he stared at the throw. âYou see anything else?âÂ
âNo, you?âÂ
âWell this Ace of clubs and 9 of swords together mean something bad,â he said pointing at the cards that were beside the 6 of cubs you got at first. âAnd thereâs a person right above them, a Jack of Gold, that represents a woman, right?â
âYeah,â you nodded. â9 of swords and ace of clubs can mean a life-altering situation.âÂ
âAnd if theyâre next to a 4 of swords,â he read, âIt can even mean deaââÂ
âMust be Nina,â you said, pointing at the Jack. âJack of Gold often represents a fair woman, clever. Suits her, doesnât it?âÂ
He looked at you, apprehension in his eyes as he rolled his tongue over his cheek. âShould we go for the next throw?â he offered.Â
âYes,â you said, turning back to him. âThese are not the fondest of my memories.âÂ
âYou can read mine if you want insteaââÂ
âNo,â you said almost too quickly, interrupting James mid-sentence. âI mean, this is fine. I much prefer being on this side of the deck.âÂ
âYou never liked divination much, did you?â He asked as he gathered the rest of the cards.Â
âNot much,â you admitted. âItâs a family thing,â you said. âNan always divined for bad things, my mum for goods, and I always get the bad stuff too.âÂ
âMaybe you donât look for the good?â
âTrust me, I look for the good. But for some reason, I still get the bad stuff.âÂ
âWell then, Iâll be your seer,â he said as he passed you a bunch of cards. âPlease, shuffle them again,â he added solemnly.
âYou really could open your own reader stand,â you said with a laugh. âHe didnât look much like a âseerâ but with the right clothing? Perhaps switching his school robes and his go-to red Converse with something like Professor Spellmanâs clothes. Maybe some gold bracelets and a fake earring. He could definitely pull off the look.Â
âYouâre staring at me weird,â he said as you placed the cards on the table and divided them into three smaller stacks.Â
âFor me, for my present, and for what Iâd like to know,â you said while knocking on the stacks and then turned to him. âI was just imagining you on a dress.âÂ
âWhy?â he asked as he narrowed his eyes on you.
âFor the authentic seer look,â you said with a shrug.
He hummed unsatisfactorily in return and started throwing your cards. âYou know,â he started as he placed a king of clubs, âI look delightful in a dress.âÂ
âBet.âÂ
âHonest,â he said as he placed yet another card onto the floor. âI have mean calves and a nice waist.âÂ
âYeah?â you asked, trying not to laugh.Â
âSome need corsets for a nice waist, I got mine with hours of quidditch.âÂ
âFascinating!âÂ
âYes andââ he turned to you, noticing the small smile creeping on your lips. âAre you making fun of me?âÂ
âIâd never dream of it,â you retorted.Â
âYou ARE making fun of me,â he said with a pout, and placed another card on the pile. He was near the beginning of the third row. âAh look, itâs you.âÂ
âJames,â you said and he turned to you while keeping another eye on the cards. âHave you ever worn a dress?âÂ
âYeah,â he said with a simple nod. âFor Halloween, and I also once lost a dare with Sirius.âÂ
âThe two of you wore dresses?âÂ
âMhm, medieval stuff, Peter and Remus made us do a catwalk and we had to wear them for a whole Weekend.â
âI would pay to see that,â you said with a laugh. âAre there any photos?âÂ
âI think Remus must have taken some,â he said with a shrug. âOkay, done.âÂ
You turned to look at the cards and almost laughed at the fact that both Remus and Sirius were right beside you. Their horses looking at you, and right on top of the three was the three of clubs. âWell, seems like you have quite a happy relationship,â he said.Â
âYeah, you said, looking at the cards. This time around there was a lot more Gold and cups around. That meant good things.Â
âThatâs Victory, right?â he pointed at the ace of golf right underneath you.Â
âIndeed, and itâs next toââ
 He checked the book, ââ5 of gold, which means well-being and on the opposite, there is, oh,â he frowned. âA 7 of swordsâŠâÂ
âThose are good, actually,â you told him. âIt means hope, and itâs right under Remus, soâŠâÂ
âRight,â James said as he remembered, his hazel eyes almost sparkling. âIt means youâve found someone who gives you the confidence to believe in a better future.â You smiled. That was certainly who Remus was for you.Â
âThereâs also a cup next to the love clubs,â he said as he tried to remember what that meant. âThe Ace.âÂ
âIt stands for home, and family. The fact that it has the three clubs on the left and the 7 of cups on the right also means good things.âÂ
You agreed with a small âhumâ as he revised the book.Â
âIt also says it means fullness of plenitude.â He read something and smirked. âDo you feel like your deepest darkest desires have been fulfilled?âÂ
âProngs.â You warned.
âI mean Iâm just asking based on what I see here⊠Talking about cups, do you know what this one means?â he asked as he pointed to the 4 beside the nine of clubs. The card in question had 4 gold and red cups, one in each corner, and read âNaipe Color Oroâ in the centre.Â
âInstincts,â you said almost a little too fast.Â
âAnd carnal desires,â James added with a smirk. âAnd this one right here,â he pointed at the clubs, âitâs satisfaction⊠and would you look at that, right beside you and the boys. Now I might be getting carried away, but does this not mean that youâre all giving each other satisfaction in regards of carnal desires?âÂ
âProngs, please!â you whined as you covered your face with your hands.Â
He chuckled and then raised both hands in defeat. âSorry, sorry. Itâs just that this one looks much better than the previous one.â He then cleared his throat. âRight at the top of this line,â he pointed at the one with you on it. âThere is a 4 of gold. The fact that itâs crowning the love cubs, you and the ace of golds right at the bottom means that there is an overall wellness in your love life.âÂ
âAnd the three of swords beside it?âÂ
âI think itâs a bad card, but not with whatâs surrounding it. âItâs in between two positive ores,â he said as he checked his notes. âGratifications, success and wellness, so I think it means, in the long run, youâll be all right.âÂ
âAm,â you corrected. âThis is about the present.âÂ
âBut isnât this one about the future?â he said as he pointed at the three of swords.Â
âNot in the present throw,â you said. âItâs tricky, it can mean anything from years to days.âÂ
âBut at least for now, it does mean good stuff, right?âÂ
âYes, it does,â you said with a small smile and a nod.Â
âCould this victory also be about quidditch?â He asked as he pointed at the ace underneath you.Â
âI guess,â you said with a shrug. âBut thereâs still some time before the match, isnât it? Weâre not playing until May, depending on the sores they get in February and March.âÂ
âShh,â he said as he shook his head. âIâm the seer, I think it means a Quidditch victory.âÂ
You shrugged, âWhatever you say Prongs⊠Just donât write something like that on the quizzes.âÂ
âHave you been doing the dream interpretation homework?â he asked as he continued staring at the cards, trying to find something else. But he couldnât find anything else that would be relevant, so he started gathering them in a single stack again.Â
âI havenât had many dreams lately,â you said. âNot since the darkness in the Ravenclaw tower.âÂ
âYou⊠you dreamed of darkness in the tower?âÂ
âYeah, I thought it was my imagination, but I guess it made sense⊠Iâm making up most of the rest, though.â
âYouâre making your dreams up?âÂ
âI found this book on dream interpretation in the library and I have been using it as inspiration,â you said with a shrug.Â
âItâs time for the throw about the future,â he said as he offered you the stack again.Â
âIâd rather not,â you said as you shook your head and pushed the cards back at him.Â
âThings look good now, Iâd rather not worry about what the future may hold.âÂ
âButââ
âIf I had gotten a throw like the one I got in the past 5 months ago, I would have been scared shitlessâŠâ you said. âYou know what I mean, right?âÂ
âYeah,â he said with a sigh. âMaybe we can make something up for the report?âÂ
âLike what?â you asked with a smile.Â
 âI definitely see a quidditch win in your future,â he said with a smile.
âAnd how does that look?âÂ
âWaitâŠâ he said as he looked through the stack and placed the 8 of swords on the table, followed by a knight of clubs, who he then switched with a jack of swords and added a knight of ores to your right. âSo thatâs me,â he pointed at the clubs. âMarlene and, of course, Padfoot,â he explained.Â
âAhaâŠâ you said with a smile.Â
He then flipped through the cards until he found the two of clubs and placed it next to himself. âI am leading you all,â he added the ace of gold right next to that. âTo victory.âÂ
You laughed and took a bunch from the stack in his hands. âThis is Lily,â you said as you took the Jack of cups and placed it under him. Youâre both standing over the love clubs,â you said as you raised your eyebrows at him in a teasing manner. âAnd look whatâs above you, two of cups, you know what that means?âÂ
âYou canât predict Lily and I having children in your future!âÂ
âWhat do you mean I canât? Theyâll be my nephews and nieces, of course, I can predict that!âÂ
James humped in reply. âWell then,â he said as he spotted Remus and placed him underneath you. Then, on your top right corner, he added the four of cups. âYou and the boys are having mighty fun as well.âÂ
âYouâre such a dumbass,â you said as you looked for another card to add. Next to the victory you placed the ace of cups. âMeans weâre a family.âÂ
âAnd,â he placed the 5th of cups under the family, âweâll celebrate the victory tremendously.âÂ
âWith gratification,â you said as you placed the 7 of gold underneath it.Â
Your little game went on until the two of you had designed a wonderfully looking future. Your friends were all around you, Beth. Peter and Tom had been added close to the celebration, and most of the clubs and swords were as far away from all of you as possible, except for the few that werenât.Â
âWhy are there so many cards missing? asked Spellman as he approached your table.Â
âUgh⊠becauseâŠâ Prongs started.Â
âItâs a celt-fae throw,â you said. âItâs a little tricky to make, and Iâm trying to remember how to do it, teaching James in the process.âÂ
âCelt-fae?â he asked with a frown.Â
âYeah, my Nan taught me,â you nodded confidently.Â
Spellman placed a hand under his chin and hummed thoughtfully. âIâll see if we have some books on that in the library,â he added before walking towards someone elseâs table.Â
âYou just made that whole thing up, didnât you?â James asked you in a whisper.Â
You laughed as you nodded, âI most definitely did.âÂ
âHow long do you reckon heâll be at the library looking for it?âÂ
You shrugged and then remembered that Sirius and Remus had told you about Spellman going to the forbidden section that one time. âMore than one night, at leastâŠâÂ
James shook his head while the two of you finished the future youâd like to have. âDoes two cups mean two children?â he asked casually.Â
âJust means children in general,â you retorted. âWhy?âÂ
âI donât know, I quite fancy the idea of having two of them.âÂ
âYeah?â you asked as you tilted your head. âBoys or girls?âÂ
âI wouldnât care,â he said with a shrug. âWouldnât mind one of each I guess. Imagine me braiding a little Lilyâs hair.âÂ
âIf itâs anything like our Lily, she might not let you touch it.âÂ
âShe wouldnât let anybody but me, touch it,â he retorted confidently. âAnd Lily, of course.âÂ
âOf course,â you laughed at the way heâd added that, almost as an afterthought.Â
James scribbled something on a sheet of parchment and then passed it over to you. âWhat do you think?âÂ
You reviewed the parchment, it was a rather detailed writing of everything that youâd done that day, he had even made some stuff up regarding the fae-celt technique that was so realistic you had to do a double take âOh, wow,â you said. âIt looks like taken from a book.âÂ
âThank you,â he said with a pleased smile. âEven if he doesnât find anything, heâll still think itâs a thing.âÂ
âWho knows, perhaps weâve just made up a new way of predicting the future,â you added with a shrug.
You added just a few more details that youâd seen on the past and present readings, with some drawings of the most relevant or telling cards and looked at the page once more, pulling it back and showing it to James, âWhat do you think?âÂ
âItâs great!â he said with a simple nod, and the two of you stood up and walked towards Spellmanâs desk. You handed over the paper while James placed the deck, and the book, along with the rest of the stuff.Â
âHow did it go?â asked Spellman, raising an eyebrow at you.Â
âGood,â you replied with a simple nod. You knew it hadnât been his choice, but having been paired with James perhaps had been a saving grace. With his constant teasing and fooling around, and the fact that he was the one reading and not the other way around, youâd managed to escape what would have otherwise been a torturous situation.
He nodded at you calmly and told you and James that, since you were finished, you could exit the classroom. You stopped by Remus and Peter on the way out. Peter was incredibly confused as he looked in between the cards and the book, biting the side of his cheek as he looked at Remus completely appalled.Â
âWhat does this even mean?âÂ
âMay I?â you asked as you approached him, âWhose reading for whom?â              Â
âIâm the seer,â said Remus. âIâve told him itâs nothing but heâs worried heâll die.âÂ
You frowned and leaned over the cards, looking at them with a small analysing frown as you placed yourself beside Remus, your side brushing against his shoulder. âPresent?âÂ
âFuture,â answered Peter. âSee those two? those are death!âÂ
âAre you supposed to be the Knight of Clubs or the Jack of Gold?â you asked as you looked at the two cards underneath the apparent death.Â
âHeâs the Knight of Swords,â Remus said, there was a slight hint of exasperation in his voice as if he had already told Peter the exact same thing.Â
âBut even then, not in a much better situation either, am I?â he asked as he pointed at his spot, near the top middle, leaning to the left. âIâm surrounded by bad cards!âÂ
You sighed, âIt looks like there are some weird things going on, like youâre going to have a fallout with some friends,â you said as you pointed at the Three of Cups being pointed at by an Ace of Swords from below and a Seven from the side. âThat could make you or others feel dejected and upset.Â
âBut, even if you are a little upset, or perhaps sick, it seems like in the end, youâll be somehow fulfilled with the choice you made,â you continued, studying the cards again. It was as if they were trying to tell you something. Peter was right, there was certainly something ominous about his throw but you couldnât quite pinpoint what it was, and you werenât sure you wanted to know either. Your worst predictions often came true, and you didnât want anything bad to happen to Peter; he was your friend.Â
âYou think?âÂ
âYeah, and look,â you said, pointing at the diagonal line from his left. âIt seems that you will eventually submit to something or someone, and you wonât feel too sad about the stuff that went down either, since youâll still have a friend you consider home,â you said pointing at the King of Gold and at the Ace of Cups at the end of the line.Â
âThat means Iâll be fine?âÂ
You looked at the cards again. There were dark things in them that you didnât want to think too much about, something baleful that you could feel and not quite see. If you had thrown them, perhaps it would have been easier, and although your magic had always been compatible with Remusâ, readings were extremely delicate, and only the main seer could predict things with accuracy âif they were good.Â
âYeah,â you said reassuringly. âYouâll be fine, Pete.â Â
âTold you so!â Said Remus as he rolled his eyes and wrote some things down in his notebook. âYouâre perfectly safe in this throw.â
âThatâs quite reassuring,â Peter said with a sigh.Â
âYeah,â James said as he looked at the cards with a smile and patted Peterâs shoulder cheerfully. âSee you in Magic Theory in a bit, yeah?â he said as he looked at the two of them.
âSure,â Peter said as he started writing down the throw heâs gotten.Â
You smiled at the two of them, turning to Remus with slight complicity before giving his shoulder a soft squeeze and walking outside with James. It was a simple way of telling him you loved him, and you knew heâd gotten the message with the small smile he returned.
âYou think I showed up on Lilyâs read?â He asked as he turned back to take a look at her once you reached the doors.
You looked at the way Lily was looking at her cards, there was a light tinge of red in her cheeks and you couldnât help but smile, âShe must have.âÂ
âThatâs good,â James said as he turned back towards the hall. âYou should ask what she got at lunch.âÂ
âWhyâs that?âÂ
âSo you can tell me all about it in practice later,â he said as if it were obvious. âNow that youâre dating Moons, Iâm your best friend, which means it is your duty to help me.âÂ
âIâm not going to tell you everything that Lily says about you, James.âÂ
âI can tell you everything that Sirius and Remus say about you in exchangeââÂ
âNo thank you,â you interrupted with a half laugh. âIf either of them want me to know something, theyâll tell me themselves. And so will Lily with you.â
âI donât know about thatâŠâÂ
âJames,â you said, turning to him, causing the two of you to stop. âDo you really think she would stay quiet if something was bothering her? Lily Evans?â Â
He tilted his head to the side as he exhaled. âBut what if her cards mentioned about us having children? What if they told her whether itâd be a boy or a girl?âÂ
âI think your imagination is getting out of hand, Prongsie.âÂ
âIs it impossible?â he asked. You were now near the stairs.Â
You thought about it for a second. A Two of Cups plus a character person could definitely predict at least some of the basic traits of a future child, but it would be too complicated to spot, and it would require a lot of suppositions. âWell, technically it isnât impossible butââÂ
âSee! She wouldnât tell me that!âÂ
âBecause then you wouldnât stop talking about it, Prongs, so it makes sense that sheââ Suddenly you were yanked by the arm from the side. Perhaps it was more like an intentioned pull, but since you were walking so intently while looking almost solely at James, it felt like a way sharper pull than intended.Â
You turned to look at the hand grabbing onto your arm before looking at the owner. âWe need to talk.âÂ
âHey!â James said as he snapped Evanâs hand from your arm. âThatâs no way to treat a Lady!â As if he hadnât yanked you way harder on multiple occasions while playing Quidditch. His dislike for the Slytherin was obvious, and any excuse would do.Â
Evan looked at James dismissively, as if he was nothing more than a nuisance, which was a lot coming from someone who had shied away from him with one look. âDonât meddle, Potter,â Evan hissed. He then called your last name. âWe need to talk.âÂ
He had said that last bit in such an urgent manner, that you felt compelled to listen, even if Barty leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest and his annoyed expression hadnât made you any more eager to do it than you were to go back and read someoneâs cards from scratch.
âJust leave us alone, Rosier!â James said as he took a step forward.
âItâs okay, Prongs,â you said with a nod. âIâll see what he has to say.âÂ
âSure?âÂ
âYeah,â you replied confidently. Prongs stood by your side, waiting.Â
Evan cleared his throat. âDo you mind?â he asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as he was.
James threw Evan a look and took a few steps backward, crossing his arms over his chest as he spotted Barty walking towards you.Â
You hadnât talked to either of them since Christmas, regardless they had saved you, and since they had, you assumed the chances of them attacking you outright, were minimal. âSo?âÂ
âHope youâre feeling better,â Evan said, as politely as he could. Then he hesitated and turned to Barty, as if he wanted his help with whatever it was he had to say. There was a rather tense silence, Barty rolled his eyes and turned to you.Â
âYour boyfriend is cheating on you.â You were startled by the information, so much so that you didnât even react before he spoke again. âWith your best friend.âÂ
Evan turned to Barty, with what looked like shock. âWe werenât gonna tell her that!âÂ
âI thought we were,â Barty said with a shrug.Â
âWhat?â Was the only thing you managed to respond.
âRemus and Sirius,â Evan said, he looked apologetic, like he thought it wasnât right to tell you but at the same time it was the only right thing to do.Â
âSnape saw them, they were shagging in the Prefectâs Bathroom.âÂ
Oh, you thought, you had been there. You couldnât possibly tell them that, could you?Â
âSnape told you this?âÂ
âAnd he wanted to tell the entire school, make you feel miserable in the process,â Barty said.Â
âYouâd understand why we couldnât allow that to happen, right? Same reason you helped me with my father?âÂ
âIââ
âWe obliviated him,â Barty said with a small proud smirk, almost imperceptible. He knew it was a complicated spell. âI didnât want to tell you, but Evan insisted.âÂ
âRight,â you said with a breath. âIâ uh⊠I knew about that.âÂ
âYou knew they were cheating?â Evan asked, surprised, but in a whisper.Â
âNo, I mean⊠They werenât cheating.âÂ
âSo youâre their cover?â he asked, still confused. âI thoughtââÂ
âNot quite,â you said, before realising you could have just left them with that thought.Â
âWhat?âÂ
Barty narrowed his eyes at you, and then he let out a breathy chuckle, sliding his tongue on the side of his cheek before looking to the side and shaking his head. He knew.Â
âEvan, Luv.â He said, the smug smile he had did not disappear as he spoke. âIt seems she has an arrangement with them.â
âAn arrangement?â
âThe three of them are into each other,â Barty said confidently. And then there was another sharp intake of breath. âNow that I think about it, she was more surprised that Severus told us than about the fact that theyâd been shagging.â He smiled. âWhy do you think that is?âÂ
âShe knew,â Evan breathed.Â
âPerhaps,â Barty said as he took a step closer. He wasnât as tall as Evan, and even Reggie was taller, but you suspected he was still going to stretch. âShe was there.âÂ
You kept your face as stoic as you could. Two more people to add to the list of those who knew, or rather, figured it out. âI appreciate the fact that you decided to tell me about it.â Barty raised an eyebrow. âAnd the fact that you obliviated that snakeââÂ
Evan hissed, and Barty mouthed âcarefulâ.Â
ââSeverus,â you corrected. âFor me.âÂ
âYouâre welcome,â Barty retorted cockily.Â
âIt was nothing,â Evan said, much more politely.Â
âIâd also appreciate it if you didnât talk about the thing that weâ you know, the thing.âÂ
âThat youâre all fucking each other?â Barty asked nonchalantly and got a small slap on his arm from Evan.Â
You didnât respond, just looked at him with slight exasperation. He knew how to get under your skin.Â
âWe wonât say a thing,â Evan said with a small nod. âWeâll follow your example.âÂ
âThank you,â you said, looking at him and nodding slightly. He shrugged in return. You turned towards James, who was looking at the two of them with a mix of hatred and curiosity. âI have class, now,â you added as you pointed towards James.Â
Barty smiled. âTell them to fuck themselves from my part when you see them,â he said as he waved. You turned to him with a rather pissed look and he smiled, adding, much lower this time, âOr each other.âÂ
âEverything all right? Whatâs that all about?â James said as soon as you reached him.
âThey know,â you said with a tired sight.
âThey know what?âÂ
âThe details of my relationship,â you finished.Â
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A/N: Hey kiddos! I'm finally back! Took me some time but GC is returning with it's regular schedule at least until the middle of December. Also, I wanted to inform you guys that there is a proofreading position open for GC (Proofreaders usually get to read chapters a week in advance, so DM me if you're interested).
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#marauders x reader#marauders x y/n#moony#padfoot#prongs#sirius black#sirius x reader#sirius black fluff#sirius x you#sirius x y/n#remus x y/n#remus x you#remus x reader#remus one shot#sirius black one shot#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders#wolfstar x reader#wolfstar x y/n#wolfstar x you#sirius black x fem!reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#moony x reader#moony x padfoot#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#moony x you#gilded constellations
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Hello! Soo I was wondering if I could request a RemusxReader oneshot/blurb with this scenario. Hear me out:
Reader openly talking to the girls about her crush on Remus she as had for years and just being so casual talking about how much she likes him and thinks he's amazing and hot, and how much she loves him (practically me simping for Rem) and she isn't embarrassed cuz she's known Lily and Marlene for years and they're used to talk like that and tease each other kindly (they usually do it to Lily). But they don't know that Remus and the boys are "accidentally" listening to their conversation.
Lmk what you think! Thankyou ly, byebye <3
moon river
(remus lupin x reader)
contents : fluff, the marauders being nosy af and eavesdropping, bad writing and not proofread :(
a/n : hello anon!!! ty so so much for the request and im so so sorry for taking so long in writing it. but hey i am here and im at your service ;) i rly hope u like this and it fulfilled what you asked for âïžâïž
ă . âą â . ° .⹠°:. *â ° . â
"[y/n] are you free tonight? or does loverboy has to take you away before midnight?" marlene said, linking your arms together as you two walked inside the common room.
"yes... why?"
"charms."
"charms?"
"assignment."
"oh-"
"yes."
"charms assignment that you need me to help you with?"
"obviously,"
"ah fine," you eyes slowly averted to the smile of none other that remus lupin. your mind goes fuzzy all of a sudden. he was joking and laughing with james in front of the fireplace. "he looks so happy today," you whispered to yourself, smiling.
"aww, you care about his happiness! just make out already," marlene said, wiggling her thick brows.
"that's one step beyond. not ethical," you shook your head in a mocking manner. "where's lily by the way? is she up here already?"
marlene shrugged as she opened the door to the dormitory, letting the warm air hit both of their faces.
later that night, you were helping marlene out on the charms essay and let's just say... it wasn't going as planned.
"marl, it's not how it is. you have to read the whole thing first then make your own summary about it so professor flitwick won't accuse you of plagiarism."
"but there's too many! why isn't there a charms to shorten paragraphs," she whined like a child on the sidewalk when their moms didn't get ice cream.
"liliana, help me over here. marl doesn't want to read,"
"i doing my eye mask, can't stand up," she reasoned stupidly.
"eye masks stick to your under eyes. yes you can stand up without them falling off. i wish remus was here, he can probably summarise four pages in just two minutes, he's incredibly smart," you closed your little tired eyes.
"if remus was here, he wont be teaching me anything, he would be too busy with you," marlene scoffed, although she is teasing.
"that's right," lily agreed. "remember this morning when [y/n] dropped mashed potatoes on his head? he didn't even blame her! he was blushing."
"also in dada, didn't you see remus was basically mumbling a mantra to be partnered up with [y/n], that's so sweet," marlene continued in a teasing voice, her charms assignment completely tossed of to the side.
you think to yourself, a conversation about remus late at night is way more interesting than charms. so you didn't budge. "aw yea he did, i saw," you cheeks turned crimson as you smile.
"isn't he just so... beautiful? i never look at anyone- except for my barbie dolls when i was five- this way. he is just right in every way."
"mhmmm keep going my love," marlene replied, after noticing a slight crack in the door with the marauders behind it. they were appalled when marlene saw them but marlene stays quiet, sending a wink their way.
at first, they were up here because james wanted to return lily's hair clip in which the boy slyly stole during class for this moment. but the others insisted to go up to see her reaction for some reason.
remus wouldn't complain though. he got to hear what the girl he loves for so much has to say bout him when he's not around.
your back was facing the door with your legs crossed over your chest and you hugging them. "his face may be pretty, but i think his heart is way prettier. for god's sake he holds my hand when i was anxious for that history presentation! he knows my needs so well."
"yes, that's so kind of him," lily urged for you to continue so she can tease you about it the next morning in front of remus lupin.
"and the best part is, remus respects women! he treats me like how i treat the girls and women around me. that's the hottest thing a guy could ever do," you dazed out, burying your face in between your kneecaps.
"ugh we love a respectful king, don't we girls!" marlene said purposely loud so remus can hear the conversation wide and clear from the door. his eyes were basically making heart eyes at the back of your head, his smile is like he had just won a contest and to hide that would be so dishonest.
"i told you to get her on a date sooner, she is the one!" sirius nudged remus rather harshly, but he was too focused on you.
"but what i don't like about him is the fact that he thinks he's not worthy of anything. he is. he deserves the biggest apology and happiness there ever was. he is like a moon river. i would roll my ship at night just to see the sparkles that he got. my huckleberry friend."
"isn't that enough to confirm that [y/n] loves you back, remus?" marlene shouted, her vision straight to the door.
your eyes widened in panic as your blood rushed into your cheeks. was remus hearing all of this? oh no freaking way- he can't be!
the door swung open, revealing the marauders who were standing with their jaws on the floor.
"i'm going out," lily spoke up, slipping out the door with james running after her like a lost puppy.
"you better do something," marlene winked at remus as she pushed him inside the room. remus nodded numbly, processing on what just happened. marlene was already dragging sirius down to give their friends privacy.
"hey, can i come in?"
"gosh i'm so sorry you heard all of that! you don't understand how embarrassing it is for me right now. i wish to disappear!" you scrunched your face, mortified by what his reactions may be.
"listen, uh, what you said were- it really makes me happy that you think of me that way because... so do i! i've been scared to say anything because i just- wasn't sure if you like me that way or not..."
"well, you heard it... what am i going to do now," you whispered the last part under your breath.
lucky for remus, he's got super hearing powers due to his lycanthropy so he heard that as clear as the sky is blue. "we can do what girlfriend and boyfriend do," remus answered shyly, playing with the end of your blanket that dropped from your bed.
"excuse me ma'am, you haven't asked me for dinner yet and now we're girlfriend and boyfriend?" you said in a joking manner to ease the tension out.
"okay let's do baby steps. come here, m'love, want to hold my girl," he opened his arms with his eyes closed. does he even know how cute he is right now?
#x reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin x reader fluff#remus lupin headcanon#remus lupin fic
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Study Sesh
Fm; Ethan landry x reader
This is my first smut story that i have posted so please no hate! Also was not proofread.
2044 words
Summery: Chad was out for the night so Ethan thought it would be the perfect time to have a study date with you, without having Chad interrupting. You on the other hand had other ideas for the night.
Warnings: SMUT
It was a little past 9pm and your eyes were getting tired of reading the same paragraph over and over again. You were sitting crossed legged on the carpet in the room, while you boyfriend, ethan was sitting on his bed. You looked up to see that he was highlighting a sentence in his book. You were getting tired of studying. You thought a study date met that there would be cuddle breaks or something, but no. its been 2 hours since you guys started and you couldnât take it anymore.Â
âHey babe?â you said breaking the silence looking up at ethan who was looking at his book, not even taking a glance up at you.
âHm?â ethan said picking up one of his pens to write something in his notebook.Â
âCan we take a break or something? My eyes are getting tired.â You were putting the book that you were studying down. You just wanted some time with ethan.Â
âYou can babe, but i need to finish this essay.â ethan said still not looking at you. You were getting a little annoyed. You just wanted your boyfriend to at least look at you. Ethan was sitting on the edge of the bed by the night stand. You got up from your spot on the floor and walked over to ethan. Ethan noticed that you moving over to him and before he could say something you sat on his lap straddling him.Â
âHi baby!â you said smiling running you fingers through ethanâs hair. Ethan slowly put his hands around your waist so he could hold you better. You removed your hands from his hair and placed them on his face, cupping his cheeks pulling his face to kiss you. The kiss was soft and gentle. You pulled away and ethan tried following you. Its so funny how he can get distracted so easily.Â
âHello my love.â Ethan said softly, still holding onto your waist. He looked up to you and smiled his gorgeous smile. You wanted to just sit and admire ethan but you also had more in mind. âAre you okay?â he asked placing soft kisses on your neck.Â
âNo. im not okay!â you said crossing your arms in front of your chest. Ethan stopped kissing your neck and let go of your waist moved and his hands towards yours and brought your arms down and held your hands in his.Â
âDid i do something to upset you?â he asked, he sounded a little worried. You didn't mean to make him scared but you where just very annoyed that you guys didn't once take a break in the past 2 hours. Instead of answering him you hid your face in the crook of his neck, to embarrassed to answer.Â
âBaby?â ethan asked stroking your hair. You wanted to tell him that you were upset but then he would just say sorry and cuddle, but you wanted more. You wanted him. You lifted your head and looked at him in the eyes, his beautiful eyes.Â
âIm upset because in past 2 hours we have studied non stop and im tired of it. I thought a study date ment there would be breaks with cuddles or something.â you said looking down. You knew communication was key and thats what you did. He looked at you for a couple seconds. âIm sorry, i didn't mean to interrupt. I know you were busy.â
âAww babe, you should have told me that when were started. I didnât mean to be so focused on my work, i should have paid attention to your needs as well.â ethan said cupping your face and rubbing his thumb in small circles on your cheek too. You melted into his soft touch. Ethan removed his hands away from you face and asked, âso what do you want to do?âÂ
Instead of saying anything, you grabbed ethan by the shirt and kissed him. He was in shock for a moment but then kissed you back and soon his hands where exploring your body. He stood up and your legs wrapped around his waist tighter as his were holding your waist. He turned around and laid you on his bed. He sucks and nibbles on your lips, earning a sound that he has grown familiar with to fall out of your mouth and into his.Â
Your hands weaved into his curls as you kept him close. Ehtanâs hand begins to wander down your body, and up under your shirt, brushing his fingers against your skin making you shiver.Â
All you guys have done in your relationship was made out, slight, simple touches, but nothing else. And as you feel him growing hard against your hip you break away from mouth to say, âi want to do more.â Ethans chest is heaving from the slight loss of breath.
âReally?â he asks, licking the bottom of your lip. You nod, bring him back up for a kiss. Ethan begins to grin against your mouth as his hand grazes up your back, grabbing the clasp of your bra. He takes a moment, to which you slightly giggle at against his lips.
Ethan shuts you up with another kiss as he finally gets the clasp to break free. He tosses your bra somewhere in his room, as he continues to suck your bottom lip. The kiss is growing sloppier and harder, as ethan wraps his hand around one of your breasts, making you arch your back slightly off the bed.Â
He rubs his thumb over your nipple experimentally earning your body to shiver against his. He takes it as a good sign and continues to roll your nipple between his fingers, earning small whimpers to fall from your lips.Â
Once he grew familiar with the action and the way your body responded, he quickly became an expert, leaning back to kiss you, seeing he could very well multitask now. You moaned against his lips as he massaged you tit, liking the feel of it in his hand.
You break away, pushing him slightly off, to which he furrows his brows, his eyes glazed over with lust. But you just raise your shirt over your head, leaving your bare breast exposed. Ethanâs breath picks up as he stares at you tits, admiring them in his mind. Youâre serious about wanted to do more.Â
You quickly reach to pull his shirt over his head, as you lean to kiss his collarbone, once the top was tossed aside ethanâs frozen as he feels your mouth wander across his body. The feel of your wet mouth makes his mind spin.Â
He glances down at you, a smile edging at his lips. You looked so pretty. Ethan canât help himself and swiftly pushes you back down on the bed, making you gasp at the quick action. He kisses you hard, littering more across your cheek, jaw and neck, sucking and licking eagerly.Â
The more sounds left your mouth, the more ethan grew confident as his actions became bolder. He unbuttoned your jeans, swifty sinking his hands into your panites, making you grab his shoulder and hair. You bit your lip softly as Ethan finds your soaking pussy. His eyes gleam at the feel of how wet you are.Â
At first he begins to just spread you arousal around, feeling your entirety as you slightly squirm under him. Ethan goes back to your neck, most likely leaving hickeys that you would have to cover up tomorrow.Â
You try to shift positions, wanting to touch him, but Ethan holds you down, continuing to stroke your pussy, rubbing over your clit. He watches you closely as he quickens his finger.Â
âEthan-oh god.â Your eyes flutter as he picks up the right pattern to swirl across your clit.
Youâre soon bucking into his hand as pleasure blinds most of your gaze. âCan I..â Ethan breathes, pecking your slightly open mouth. âCan i finger you?â His question comes off so innocent, contradicting his actual words.Â
You gulp, nodding. That was the only way you could answer him in this state. But then you shake your head, making Ethans brows furrow. âI..I want to touch you.â You mange to say through the pleasure.Â
But in response Ethan just slowly pushes one finger in, making you bite your hand at this feeling. âPlease i just want to hear you.â Ethan slightly begs. You bring your hand away to clench around the sheets. Ethan smiles âcan i add a second?â He breathes, rock hard against your hip, as he refrains from grinding into you.Â
Your nod is a ghost of one, as you lie back in bliss. Ethanâs smile widens as he pushes a second finger in, beginning to pump in and out of you. You whimper as Ethan manages to find you g-spot, your louder moan telling that he did. He then quickens his pace, hitting the spot repeatedly.
âOh god, EthanâŠIâm gonna..Iâm-â your orgasm wacks through you as you shudder against his fingers. He continues to finger you through your pleasure before pulling out. Your head hits the pillow as your chest rises and falls.
âShit.â You mutter. Ethan just nods, agreeing. He leans back down to kiss you. You respond, moving your mouth with his.Â
Ethan shifts, reaching a spot between your legs. You can feel him pressed against you. You jolt, still slightly sensitive, but at this point not really caring.
You grind up, into him, making his mouth open against yours. You reach down, doing the same thing he didâunbuttoning his pants, and sinking your hands past his boxers. His hips shudder into your pussy as you carefully wrap your hands around his cock.
Heâs breathing harshly over you, as you run your thumb over his pre-cum making his eyelids flutter. You try and switch positions again, but Ethan presses further into you.Â
âNo, no, don't. I want to stay on top.â Ethan says looking at you in the eyes. Your breathing quickens at his confession, just as he kisses you again. You soon break away, pulling your hand out of his pants, making him slightly whine at the lose of contact. You quickly spit in your hand before reaching in to wrap you hand around his cock. At the wet feeling Ethan moans into your neck as you begin to slowly stroke up and down. He tries to muffle his noises in your neck but with your other hand, you grab his hair, titling his head up, so you can hear him.
âI like hearing you too.â you say, as you quicken your pace, rubbing him up and down repeatedly. Ethanâs mouth hangs open as you continue to give him a handjob. Soon heâs jolting his hips and orgasming.Â
âFuck.â He whispers against your cheek. You grin, both your chests heaving against each other.
âDo you have a condom?â You ask and Ethan almost feels shameful at the fact he had bought some, wanting to do this just as much as you. His pink cheeks give you your answer. He leans over to his nightstand amd opens the drawer, reaching in and pulling out one condom from the box. He places one over his cock, after he removed his remaining clothes. You had done the same as you pull him in for another kiss. Heâs soon at your entrance as you grip his shoulders.Â
âYou ready?â He whispers against your skin as you mutter a âyesâ. He pushes in, making sure to go slowly at first. Your quickly clenching around him, making Ethan groan. He pushes further in and in, as you try to relax your walls.
âThats it.â he praises as he kisses your jaw. Ethan picked up the pace as he listens to your whimpering moans. You both pant into each other's mouths as pleasure wrecks both your bodies.Â
âFucking hell.â you breathe, as Ethan thrust in and out. The feeling of your clashing bodies brings you both closer and closer to your orgasms. Soon, your both shuddering and moaning with pleasure.Â
Ethan kisses you hard as he draws out, both your bodies sensitive and hot. Christ, that felt good. Ethan pushes hair away from your forehead.Â
âSo what were you studying earlier?â He whispers with a large grin on his face.Â
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can you write something to do with exam stress, loneliness and suicidal thoughts (if you're comfortable with it) finals season is coming and it would comfort me a lot. could it be a tommy x sister reader? Maybe the reader is stressed about her exams and is being bullied in school. I really enjoyed your first two fics (the sh ones) and I would really appreciate this. Lots of love xxx
Bargain
Tommy Shelby x sister!reader
I'm sorry that this took so long! It is kind of ironic as I'm also going through this right now with my A-Level exams. I understand how dark things tend to be getting in these times and you sound like you've got a lot on your plate. I really hope you enjoy this, I made it especially for you! âĄ
warning: suicidal thoughts and actions
WC: 3.6K
MASTERLIST
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:*
One day, though you couldn't remember when, the jokes stopped being funny. Your classmates were relentless - to them you were gypsy scum, the spawn of a criminal family. You used to laugh along but the taunting wore you down.Â
It didn't help that you began to shut your family out as well. Ever since you passed the entrance exam at that God forsaken grammar school, you withdrew. Too much reading and research to tally up the betting books and mediate domestic disputes.
As you moved onto your final years of education, you saw a way out of your family's situation - if you got into university then you wouldn't need to join the family company or marry a rich man to escape. You could have your own career which didn't break the law.
Of course, in the 1920s, this was no easy feat for a woman - or anyone. Luckily for you, you were attending one of the best grammar schools in the country, but, though you weren't in poverty, you were at a disadvantage with your peers. Most of your classmates had options: they had a dad with a PhD, a legal family business or an arranged marriage with a wealthy man lined up in case they failed their studies.
The pressure seemed never ending. You needed this, there simply was no other option. You had to grapple with this reality as well as deal with the tormenting of your classmates and the fear that one of your family members would end up with a bullet in their heads.Â
You didn't speak to anyone in your family about your crippling concerns. You didn't think they'd see the value in a university education - especially for a woman.Â
School work distracted you to such a point where you didn't even notice Tommy's concerned presence shadowing you most days. He just kept popping up everywhere you went.Â
School gate? Tommy.
Library? Tommy.
The kitchen at 3am? Tommy.
Did that man even fucking sleep?Â
Eventually, you "confronted" him. You had a tradition of being in Charlie's Yard on a Friday night. You would sit and look into the water - laughing, crying, sometimes screaming in frustration. This was a solitary activity, but one particular Friday, Tommy was already waiting there for you.
"(Y/N)!, you're late!" He shouted across the yard, taking a puff of his cigarette with a cheeky grin.
Fuckâs sake.
You hurry your pace, slushing your boots in the mud making your way to the wooden dock. âWhat are you doing?â you call out, frustrated.
âIs a man not able to sit, eh?â Tommy shuffled over and gestured for you to sit. You just huffed in response and remained standing.
âLook, Y/N/N, I can leave if you want, but I just wanted to see you? Youâre always buried in a book these days.â His tone turned more sympathetic. You relented and sunk down next to him.
âI canât be long. I have an essay, Tommy.â You spoke timidly, you were mentally prepared to break down alone but now you had to hold yourself together.
âYou have the weekend.â He turned to look at you but you turned away.
âNo. I have more work for the weekend.â You choked and turned your body so you were facing away from his stare, âI have a lot of work to do. Iâm bloody drowning in it Tommy.â
He took a deep, prolonged breath and discarded his cigarette. âI think, Y/N, I think you need to spend a lot less time on work. Arenât your friends all out on a Friday night? Why donât you join them?â
You scoffed. âFriends? No one wants to be friends with a gypsy, or a Shelby.â
This struck a nerve with Tommy, he was also both of those things, yet he was respected and you were isolated. âYeah? Sayâs fucking who?âÂ
âPeople at school.â âAnd why are you listening to them?â âBecause - itâs just hard. You wouldnât get it. Iâm so fucking worn down.â
The man took another sigh, realising he was fighting an uphill battle. âYour classmates arenât in Small Heath, you donât need to prove yourself to anyone here, you know that?â
You shook your head rapidly âNo. No Tom, I donât care about my social life. If I donât do well in my exams, Iâll never get into University. I need to go, I want it so bloody bad.â You were so engrossed in your emotions that you didnât even feel the salty tears run down your cheeks.
Tommy was taken aback by your reaction. He couldnât fathom why you were putting so much pressure on yourself. Of course, he would rather you made your goal something a bit easier than perfect grades, but then whatever you dream was became his by proxy. He had spoken to your teachers, they were certain youâd get the grades you needed. They had even mentioned your tendency to overdo things, but things werenât nearly as bad at home at that time so he disregarded it. What a stupid mistake that was.
He was about to reach out to touch your hand, but you could feel the floodgates bursting, so you tried to leave.Â
âY/N!â He shouted, following close behind you.
Go away. Go away. Go away.
âLook, I didnât fucking ask you to come here.â You snapped as he grabbed your arm.
âYou didnât need to. Your my fucking sister, you donât need to ask. I didnât want to be so blunt but you need to calm the fuck down with the books, ay?"Â
"No. You don't understand." You shook your head adamantly , "if I don't do well in my exams, then what's the fucking point in anything anymore?"Â
â
"So, how'd your chat with Y/N go?â Polly asked her nephew as the evening dawned.
He settled into the sofa and took a deep inhale, rubbing his cold, sweaty palms together. âShe didnât take it very well. She probably just came back here to study more upstairs.
Polly leaned forward in her seat: âshe never came home.â
Shit.
âDid you upset her, Thomas?â
âI couldnât tell you. Sheâs hard to get these days.â
â
Tommy thought little of her absence. The library closed at 6PM - sheâd be home by 7.
7:30. Still no Y/N.Â
He went to check your room to see if youâd slipped in and snuck to bed. Your room looked like it had been ransacked. Books, pencils, papers, and clothes covered every surface. Your bed was unmade and the curtains were drawn. It reminded the man of a house that had been robbed. The air was stagnant and cold.
On your bed, a book stood out to Tommy. It wasnât a textbook or workbook, it was a small leather-bound diary with fraying ribbons pulling it shut. Without much thought, he settled down onto the bed and yanked the curtain open, amber sunset pouring in. The book felt heavy and the spine was stressed. He noticed that lots of other papers had been shoved between the pages.The edges of some were visible, your handwriting adorning them. He pulled the end of the matted ribbon firmly undoing the knot and allowing him access to what he came to realise was your diary. He flicked to the latest entry and saw it was dated for just the day before. He skimmed your scrawls: I will never be good enough, I just can't do it. I can't do anything anymore.
After freezing for a second he slammed it shut and threw it against the wall. He was fuming with the situation, and with himself. He knew you were struggling but he thought it was your need to prove yourself to your bullying peers - he could have never dreamed that you hated yourself this much.
Without much more thought, Tommy grabbed his coat and practically launched himself out of the door. He wasn't going to come home until he had you with him.
â
After your altercation with Tommy, you found yourself back by the cut. Your emotions were always heightened there, you tried not to go to the part where your mother jumped in, that was usually reserved for the anniversary of her death, but for some reason your feet carried you down there. You never knew her and by the sounds of things, you were very different people. You didn't even know why she did what she did, you were too young back then to understand. One thing you did know was how she must have felt. The feeling of utter despair. The loneliness.Â
You'd had a serious case of suicidal ideation since the start of your new school. In the back of your mind you always knew what to do if everything became too much. You had written letters to everyone and stuffed them under your pillow. You were ready. Perhaps tonight was the night?
This revelation almost gave you a twisted sense of euphoria. I don't need to go home again. I never have to write another essay. I never need to be called another name. No one will need to look after me. I can just end it all.Â
These thoughts carried you to the edge of the water. You thought about how your mother would have felt drowning and freezing. Calm, hopefully. Release.Â
You collected some large stones from the dusty mud around you and stuffed them in your coat pockets. You figured that being pulled down would make you go quicker. You knew that your brothers would be sad but you also knew that they'd move on. They'd done it once before, they could do it again. After all, they all had lives and you had nothing but stress and pain and anguish.Â
Looking down into the gloomy water you could feel cool droplets splashing onto your face and mixing with your tears. The abyss was inviting, your doubtful thoughts that had stopped you in the past were whispering to you but you told yourself that you wanted this. You wanted this, right?
You took your shoes off and laid them neatly at the edge of the water.Â
A leap. A splash. A scream.
Cold.
Then you felt someone grab you.
â
Tommy had barely made it in time. He saw you, shoeless, on the edge of the cut. He could only shout and run after you as you descended into the water. Without hesitation, he jumped in after you and grabbed you. He tried to pull your body up to the surface with him but you were fighting him. Your coat was sinking first, weighing the both of you down, so he wrestled it off you. All either of you could hear was splashes and all you could feel was the paralysing blanket of cold.
Holding onto your wrists, he went up for air to gather strength, before diving back under to pull you up. You were barely underwater for a few minutes but the frigid water had knocked you out. Tommy paddled to the steps a few metres away from where you'd jumped and pulled his drenched body onto them. He wheezed and gasped for air then dragged you up the steps by your armpits. The water level was particularly low so the steps seemed to go on forever. He'd boarded boats from these steps but never did he think he'd be ascending them with your limp body.
Your breathing was shaky and erratic. Tommy was just glad you were breathing at all. He laid you down in the dirt and rolled you onto your side just in time for you to involuntary convulse and cough up water while he hyperventilated. He firmly patted your back as your lungs cleared. Despite the heaving, you were still unconscious. Your lips were going a dusky shade of blue and the skin around your eyes was darkening, either from the cold or the lack of oxygen, he wasn't sure.Â
Tommy desperately tried to get control of his breathing so he could compose himself but his body was viscerally reacting to the shock of the cold water overwhelming his senses. He was in such physical anguish that his emotions had completely dulled. He'd honed the ability to turn his thoughts off while in the trenches and it often came in handy.Â
His main priority was getting you warm and dry. He tried to drag you up but didn't have the strength in his cold and wet state. Instead he had to resort to shouting for help, knowing that there were Blinders at the entrance to the docks. A few of Tommy's associates came around the corner, their coats flying in the wind behind them and the group of them managed to carry you back to Watery Lane while your body continued to involuntary spasm due to the cold.Â
Nobody else was in the house so Tommy flung your body on the floor in front of the fireplace and set a copious pile of logs on fire. He hunched over you and basked in the heat, ripping off his coat, hat, and suit and discarding them into a pile. After sitting for a moment shivering in a vest and underwear, he ran to the kitchen and grabbed a towel.
In the living room, you'd rolled over so you could be closer to the heat, you weren't entirely sure what was going on but you liked the feeling of the warmth against you.
He ripped your drenched shirt off you and tried to ring your hair out with the towel. You were mumbling something incoherent but he ignored it. Your body laid next to the fire as he dried himself off.Â
You awoke when he accidentally knocked a book off the coffee table. Your body felt numb and you were extremely confused. He rushed over as you tried to roll away from the fire.
"Tommy?" you croaked, even more confused than you already were. What was he doing here? The look on his face then reminded you. He was drenched. You'd actually done it. You'd actually done it and he stopped you.
You ignored his demanding stare and sat up, coughing. You wheezed, holding your hands around your neck to reassure yourself that you weren't drowning.Â
You didn't drown, but you were soaked to the bone.Â
"What were you thinking, eh?" Tommy studied your startled expression, you couldnât tell if he was mad, disappointed, or feeling sorry for you, "What the hell is going on with you?"Â
You remained silent and refused to look up at him.Â
"Y/N, what did you just do? And don't tell me that you fell. Your coat was full of stones."Â
He was going to make you say it. Dick.
You could only think of two words: âIâm sorry.â
Tommy scoffed and sat down in front of you. âYouâre sorry? You are sorry?â
Did he want to know why? âIâm sorry that you jumped in and got wet. You look cold.â
He was physically taken aback by your words. âThe only thing you should be sorry for is not talking to me.â He picked up the towel and began to dry you, understanding that trying to reason with you in this state was no better than arguing with a brick wall. After your hair was no longer dripping, he brought you dry clothes and made you discard your wet ones in the bathroom while he pressed his ear up against the wall to listen to your every move.
Tommy was angry with himself. Heâd sat back and watched the pressure on you accumulate, only realising when it was too late. Youâd nearly died. Y/N. His baby sister. The girl he held as a baby. The girl he read bedtime stories to. The girl he taught to ride horses. The girl he loved unconditionally. It was fate that had just saved your life - he very easily could have looked for you somewhere else and that would have cost your life. The thought made his heart hurt. Youâd nearly died. Youâd nearly died. Before heâd even realised, he was crying against the doorframe as you left the bathroom.Â
You tried to apologise again but he ignored you and wrapped you in the tightest hug youâd ever felt. He was scared to loosen his grip as he feared you would slip away. He cried gut-wrenching sobs into your shoulder. You gave in and began to cry as well. You couldnât even figure out why. You were plagued with a viscous mixture of anguish and guilt - you were also still really fucking cold, the pair of your shivered in eachotherâs arms.Â
Tommy pulled away and stared directly into your eyes. Instinctively your gaze turned to break the exchange. You couldnât stand his distraught stare, it made you want to vomit.
âY/Nâ He took a deep breath, âIâm here now and Iâm not leaving you ever again, so you better tell me what the fuck is going on inside that head, eh?â You gulped. Only one coherent thought was running through your head. âCold.â
With those words, the pair of you were huddled next to the fire.
âIâm gonna fail, Tommy.â The admission slipped out.
He held back his rant heâd repeated to you countless times and let you continue. All he wanted to do was scream and shout, to tell you and the rest of the bloody street how talented and capable you are.
âI want to make something for myself just like you have but I canât do it. I just feel like I canât do anything right. If Iâm a good person then why do people hate me?â You took shaky breaths to process the thoughts youâd aired. Tommy pulled you in so you were resting on his side while the fire crackled in front of you. He waited to say anything until he could be sure that you were finished.
âLook, Y/N. Some people in this world are just full of hate, they wouldnât know kindness if it hit them between the eyes. You just want to make everyone happy but you canât because some people are gonna fucking resist until they die. Iâm so proud of you, Y/N, you have grown up to be a talented and smart woman. You will make a life for yourself as long as you remember that. If you want to do that through school then, by all means, go for it, but there are other ways. What you need is some time to rest, and you need to get away from that fucking school. Youâre in your final year, just finish things off at home, Iâll get you a tutor or anything you need as long as you never go back.â
He leaned back against the sofa to physically recover from his speech. He couldnât see your face but he watched as you curled your body into a tight ball and leaned in even closer to you.
âItâs like I donât even know who I am anymore. Everything is so dull. Iâm not happy.â No shit. And then you began to cry for what felt like the millionth time.
He just held you and stared into the flames. âShh shh, no, itâs alright. youâre fine, shh. No more anything for the rest of the weekend, Dr Shelbyâs orders, alright?â You chuckled lightly while he remained serious, âOver my many, many years, Iâve realised that if you work on something forever it never gets done well, but if you take enough breaks and are kind to yourself, it will get done. I can bet everything that you will become a strong and independent woman one day.â
After a few more back and forths, you spilling your negative thoughts and him retorting with a classic Tommy speech, the two of you fell asleep by the fire, the heat thawing the pain youâd both felt. Tommy came to the conclusion that you were simply too good for this world, but he knew you better than anyone and was certain it would all work out for you in the end.
The next morning, the pair of you made a deal that you would tell him about all the bad thoughts you were having and he promised heâd always be there to listen. After a few meetings with a doctor and your school, Tommy set you up a study area in his office. The two of you would work during the morning, eat lunch together, then youâd shadow him in the afternoon to - as he put it - âlearn from the masterâ.Â
You took time to reflect on the things that really mattered to you - not the things that really mattered to the girl who was hated by her peers and would have died for flawless grades - the things that mattered to you, Y/N Shelby. You cared deeply about those around you. Seeing how broken Tommy was after your attempt made you want to cooperate with him and your doctor to become well enough to live the life you so desperately craved. It was almost ironic that youâd nearly taken that opportunity from yourself.
You still had days when the light at the end of the tunnel faded and youâd again lose sight of your future, but keeping up with his side of the deal, Tommy was always there to coax you out of it.Â
When you were younger, your brother taught you lots of things, and now he felt like he was giving you a final, important lesson. To learn to use your life, because he could so clearly see the potential you have.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:*
please drop me a comment or message with any feedback or suggestions! I'd love to hear from you âĄ
Vee x
MASTERLIST
#peaky blinders#peaky fucking blinders#thomas shelby#tommy shelby#shelby#finn shelby#angst#hurt#comfort#shelby sister#peaky fookin blinders#cillian murphy#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinder imagine#imagines#peaky blinder imagines#shelby sis#tw self harm#peaky blinders x sister!reader
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You didn't actually think I would miss this, did you? (Tobin Heath x Reader)
Just a short little fic for Tobin's birthday. Not really edited so mind any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!
Between work getting busy and studying, life has been busy lately so writing has unfortunately been put on the back burner so fics might take longer than usual. My final essay is due in less than 2 weeks so hopefully I'll have more time to write after that!
Words: 1.4k
Y/n: Nobody on earth can make me feel the way you do. Everyday I wake up you continue to amaze me in every way possible. Your kindness, empathy and compassion are what make you the most amazing woman I've ever known. Please never stop being the beautiful, confident and sexiest person that I am madly in love with. Everyday I am blessed to have you by my side. I hope today is filled with love, friendship, surprises and fun. Thank you for going through life with me. Happy birthday my love. I love you today and always.
Toby:Â Thank you baby. There's no one I'd rather go through life with than you. I love you so much.
Toby:Â I wish you were here with me today... I miss you
Y/n:Â I miss you too Toby. We'll see each other soon. I'm sure you'll have an amazing day regardless. I wanted to have this text ready for you to wake up to, but I got busy :(
Toby:Â It's okay, facetime later?
Y/n:Â Wouldn't miss it. I have to go, but I'll message you a bit later. I love you
It was Tobin's birthday today. We had been together for 7 years and this was the first birthday that we would be apart for. Since we started dating, we had always made sure to be with each other on our birthdays. This year though, I was playing in Europe meaning I couldn't be there this year. Well that's what she thought anyway. I was out for a couple of weeks with an injury and coach had agreed that I could return to the states as long as I kept up with physio.Â
Tobin's birthday happened to fall in the middle of a national team camp. One that I couldn't attend due to being injured. I knew they would be planning something so I had reached out to Ali to let her know I was surprising Tobin. I trusted her to not let it slip and she was able to keep me updated on their plans so I could surprise her. I didn't want to miss her whole birthday, instead I had found a flight that would get me there in time to surprise her at lunch.Â
I got through security as quickly as possible. Knowing I was so close to seeing Tobin again was making me impatient. This was probably the longest we had gone without seeing each other. I hated it, but playing internationally had always been a dream of mine. They had organized lunch in the meal room at the hotel seeing as there were so many of them. I quickly dropped my stuff in Tobin's hotel room and cleaned myself up a bit before heading down to the meal room.Â
Ali had organized a game of guess the person. Tobin was blindfolded and had to guess who was in front of her based on the feel of their hands and face. The girls smiled widely when they saw me, somehow managing to not completely freak out. I watched Tobin go through a few more of them. There was a wide smile on her face, the corners of her eyes no doubt crinkling. I knew pretty much all of Tobin's expressions at this point, even without properly seeing them. It made me happy knowing that even though she was missing me, she was still able to have fun and be genuinely happy.Â
After a few minutes, I stepped up to Tobin, placing her hand on my arm first then my face. I knew there was a high chance that once she felt either of my hands she would know it was me. Besides the years of almost constant hand holding, I had a scar on one of my hands that was very noticeable.
I lent into her touch, enjoying the feeling after almost six months away from her. That must have been a give away, because her hand froze briefly before moving to my eyebrow that also had a scar then my left hand. She ripped the blindfold off, eyes wide as she stared at me in shock.Â
"Y/n!" Tobin pretty much squealed, jumping up, arms wrapping around me as she jumped up, legs around my waist, "You're here, you're actually here."
"You didn't seriously think I would miss your birthday did you?"
Tobin kissed me hard, filled with passion and love. I knew the team were watching, fake gags coming from them, but I did care as I cupped the back of her head, not letting her move until we were both out of breath. Tobin watched me for a few seconds before speaking, "I love you so much. How long do I have you for?"
Reluctantly, I put her down, feeling my knee starting ache, "A couple of weeks. Pretty much until I'm ready to join practice again as long as I keep up with physio here."
Since there weren't any real plans for after lunch, Tobin and I snuck off to the room. We didn't do anything other than cuddle and make out a little bit. I was exhausted from my flight, all I wanted to do was hold her after months apart. When Tobin eventually had to go to the bathroom, I got the piece of paper and ring box from my bag. I quickly hid the ring box as Tobin came back into the room. I still wasn't sure if I was going to propose right now with just the two of us or do something with the team later. I wanted to have it with me for when I decided the time was right.
"I got you something."
"You didn't have to, just being here is enough."
"Shush and take it. I think you're going to like this."
I handed her a piece of paper. She read over it slowly before jumping on me, peppering kisses across my face, "You're coming back?!? We get to play together again?"
"I'm coming back. I still have to be there for a couple more months though. I love playing for arsenal, it's been a great experience, but it's not worth how much I miss you."Â
A few tears fell down her cheeks as she kissed me slowly before a smile stretched across her face, interrupting the kiss. Her smile was one of my favourite sights so I wasn't mad about it, "You are amazing, I love you Y/n."
"I love you Toby."Â
Once again I found myself watching her. Taking in her smile, the way her eyes crinkled, the dimples I was obsessed with, her beautiful eyes that I could look at forever and the short hair that drove me crazy. It was my first time seeing it in person, I had ran my fingers through it countless times already and was currently resisting the urge to do it again. I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love another person. She was the person I craved, the first person I thought of when I woke up or before I went to sleep, the first person I wanted to tell when anything happened. She was the person I wanted by my side for the rest of my life.Â
"I meant what I said in my text."
"Which part?"
"All of it. Even after 7 years, you still make my heart race, butterflies and sparks to explode at even the slightest touch. No one has even made me feel the way you do and no one else ever will. I thank everything in this world that you chose me, that I get to be with you and love you every day. You are the only person I want by myside through everything life throws our way. The good, bad, funny, messy, whatever it is, it will be okay because I have you. I am so madly in love with you Tobin Powell Heath, I want to do life with you for as long as you'll have me. Will you marry me?"
Tobin launched forward before I could even get the ring box. She hugged me tightly, tears landing against my neck, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I love you so fucking much Y/n."
My own tears fell, the happiness bubbling over as I chuckled, "Can I get the ring now?"
"You got me a ring?"
I reached under the pillow for the ring box, opening it for Tobin to see. It was just a simple rose gold band, it fit who she was and the type of style she liked. She grinned widely as I easily slipped it onto her finger, "Of course I did. I've been planning to do this for months now. Only the best for my girl or should I say fiancé?"
"God I can't wait to marry you Y/n."
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đđĄđđ§đ€đŹ đ đ„đšđ, đđźđ©đąđ
part 30 / sassy man apocalypse â
masterlist
warning(s): *REUPLOAD* bc i didnt like the first one n i am in love with angst/comfort, possible typos, profanity, kys joke
rain pitter-pattered against the glass windows of mr. ramirezâs classroom as soft jazz filled the empty conversations of college students writing out their history essays due at the end of the week.Â
âaw man. what the hell.â rin groaned as he accidentally wrote down the wrong citation on his worksheet. âmori, do you have white-out? i keep fucking messing up and iâm so close to throwing the whole paper away.â
rummaging through his green pencil pouch, the sandy blond shook his head with a frown. âthink i mightâve forgotten it in my dorm, sorry. nn* might have some though,â he stood up from his chair, walking over to ynâs table which was as quiet as ever.
(nn = nickname)
keiji had just left to go use the bathroom a few minutes ago, the seat in front of his being vacant also because that student barely came to class, today was no different. the girl who was assigned to sit in front of yn was fast asleep and the other kid who was supposed to be in front of kozume had moved to talk to their friend across the room. this left yn and kozume alone together. awkward.Â
but yn didnât seem to care... or to notice.
actually, she didnât even seem mentally present.
mr. ramirez was still getting used to being in a physical classroom after persistently having asynchronous classes for almost two years because he simply âdidnât wanna get out of bed.ââ he often supported his statement by falling asleep after his short lectures and with the current weather, it was easy to do so.Â
so whenever yn had history class, it was basically a free period. which was very much needed after the conversation she had the previous day with shoyou. just what did he mean when he said kozume was scared of letting himself be happy? so focused on the question at hand that everything around her all mushed together into an unimportant blur. the pen in her dominant hand moved on autopilot, creating messy scribbles all over her notebookâ seemingly illustrating her disordered mind.
âyn, do you have any white-out? cause oh! uh-â mori peeked over her shoulder, seeing the black ink pour out of the pen and dance like there was no tomorrow all over the lined paper. âuhm.. yn?â
noticing her unresponsive behavior, kozume placed a gentle hand over hers, squeezing it ever so slightly. âhey,â his soft touch mixed with the familiar comforting sound of his voice lulled ynâs tangled thoughts, bringing her back to the present moment. âare you okay? mori was trying to talk to you but you werenât responding.â
âhm? oh.â collecting herself, yn turned to face her friend with a smile. âsorry, mori.â
the libero raised a brow at the interaction, his eyes lingering on the physical contact of their hands that still continued even with yn snapped out of her daze. âuh yeah, all good, nn. rin just needed some white-out 'cause i forgot mine. so iâll be taking this-â he situated himself in between yn and kozumeâs chairs, purposely hovering the top half of his body over their joined hands (with his ass poking out because of the weird position) to emphasize his nonverbal disapproval at the blond, before dramatically grabbing the white-out and dragging it to the edge of the desk, successfully (and awkwardly) separating their hands in the process. âpleasure doing business with you.â he chirped, giving kozume a dirty look before trudging back to his own table.
âsorry.â kozume mumbled, turning his attention back to his work. he internally groaned, scolding himself for what he did. âcouldnât you just tap her shoulder? but noooo you just canât keep your hands off her. stupid.â
âitâs okay.â yn reassured. âactually, kozume i-â the sound of the chair next to her sliding against the vinyl flooring made her stop her sentenceâ keiji was back. ânevermind."
as time drew on, it was finally the end of morning classes, and yet it was still pouring outside. even heavier than when class started.
âbe careful out there!â mr. ramirez warned, watching as students bustled out of his class and into the rain. âmake sure to turn your essays in by friday, midnight! each minute after the deadline is my increasing disappointment in all of you!â
âyou sure youâre okay going with him?â mori asked for the fifth time as yn packed her bag. kozume blankly stared at mori, wanting to get out of the class as soon as possible because he could feel keiji staring at them, eavesdropping on the conversation. he internally begged keiji wouldnât try to confront him about walking with yn.Â
but, in all honestlyâŠhe was a little happy that yn had asked. even if it was because of tetsu. he missed her. every single fiber in his body yearned to be with her. hate coursed his body ever since that night. but only for himself. he wouldnât, couldnât, never blame anyone else, even keiji, for his actions because he knew that in the end, he was the one that told yn all those cruel words. so when yn asked if he could accompany her to pick up tetsu, he was grateful that they were able to have some time alone. just the two of them.
yn sent her friend a comforting smile. âiâll be okay, donât worry about me. just let coach know weâre gonna be a little late mâkay?â mori sighed, knowing he couldnât change her mind even if he physically dragged yn away from kozumeâ theyâd just find their way back to each other one way or another.
âsee you.â rin murmured, ruffling ynâs hair before walking out with mori.
âwhich building is tetsu in?â kozume asked, getting his umbrella ready.
yn fixed the straps of her bag, waving at mr. rameriz as she and kozume exited the class before answering, âpretty sure it's on the second floor of T building.â
âohh.â
âis that okay?â
âyeah. thatâs okay.â
the walk to T building was quiet and a bit tense. yn fidgeted with her hands, shoyouâs words still circulating through her mind. she wanted answers from kozume. she wanted him to tell her why things were the way they were between them. but she didnât want to force it out of him. she wanted kozume to come to her first. her eyes focused on the path in front, letting the sound of the rain calm her down.Â
kozume on the other hand, he couldnât stop staring at her. he never could in the first place. yn was just so spellbinding, and the rain wasnât helping in the slightest. he had so much to say, but he could never find the right words when it came to her. he stopped in his tracks, holding onto the umbrella tightly. his free hand pulled at the hem of ynâs jacket so they were facing each other. âyn, iâm sorry.â his voice was soft. it was almost hard to hear over the harsh rain.Â
the sudden gesture caught yn off guard. âwha..?â kozumeâs apology, though expected because of how much they both knew his words affected yn, came out of nowhere. âkozume-â
âi know i havenât been honest with you, but i..â he pursed his lips, mind going blank as he stared into ynâs inquisitive eyes. âi donât know what to do.â his voice sounding desperate. sounding lost.
âkozume,â every time she said his name, it felt like a stab to the heart. he missed how her voice was laced with so much love when sheâd call him kozu or koz, but now his name seemed foreign as it rolled off her tongue. she placed a comforting hand on his, returning the gentle squeeze he gave her previously. âyouâre my friend before anything that happens. i donât know whatâs happening with you, and it physically hurts to have you push me away, but iâll always want to be someone you can talk to.â her thumb rubbed the back of his hand, soothing all his anxious assumptions of how the conversation wouldâve turned out.
her touch was so soft and warm, a heavenly contrast to the heavy rainfall. kozumeâs features relaxed, his head falling forward to rest on ynâs shoulder. her other hand reached to caress his head. âi donât want to keep hurting you.â he mumbled.
âi donât want to keep getting hurt either, kozume.â
âi know, iâm sorry yn. please be a little more patient with me. i didnât mean anything i said that night, i was just overwhelmed and i regret taking it out on you.â
yn continued running her fingers through his blond hair. she slowly nodded, letting his words sink in. âi donât forgive you for what you said, and how you constantly kept confusing me before that night, but iâm not mad at you, kozume.â her hold on his hand tightened in just the slightest. âit hurt when you made me feel you liked me back and kissed me only to call everything a mistake, and it hurt when you told me you werenât being honest with me just now. you hurt me kozume, but still, i donât want to lose you.â
the two stayed in their positions for a few more minutes. allowing themselves to bask in each otherâs comfort. yn was the only good thing in kozumeâs life, he knew that. and for a moment he let himself forget just how much he needed her. but he wouldnât make the same mistake again.Â
he knew he had to talk to keiji.
âwhat took you guys so long?!â tetsu fussed. after what was about 15 minutes since the bell, the two had finally made it to tetsurouâs class. âand why is my sister wet, kozu!? i thought you had an umbrella??â he quickly removed his own jacket, placing it on top of ynâs smaller figure.Â
âitâs raining hard as fuck out there.â kozume groaned, also damp from the rain
âwhy do you guys still have practice anyway.â yn shivered, wrapping herself in the added fabric. âi know your game is coming up but what if some of you get sick?â
âno pain, no gain!â tetsu insisted, grabbing kozumeâs umbrella from him and pushing the two out of the class. ânow we gotta hurry..coach called me like three times telling me to get my ass to the gym!â
yn checked her phone to see if she had gotten a call also,
2 missed calls from miloâs dad đ«¶đŒ 1 missed call from SUNAVABITCH đ€Łđ€Ł 3 missed calls from alcoholic (coach) âïž
âwell, fuck.â
part 29 secret little personal diary <- | masterlist | -> part 31 old man
note(s): me when i lie n say i'll finish this before thanksgiving break but i didn't >p< (IM SORRY.) anyways.. am i or am i not dragging their argument too long like.. let's wrap it up kenma! also i don't like the ending..but i wanted to post SOMETHING so i might change it later. next part is also written.. but AFTER that r a few text msgs :3
â©âĄ± taglist !! + @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anny-bah @ast4rg1rl @sukunasrealgf @dani-shitting-around @whokillednyx @vernon-dursley @limaswife @sugawara-levi @sixxze @ryoiii @literally-a-ferret @444sunarin @llearlert @lloyd4x @usermins @2baddies-1porsche @vernon-dursley @lyzisbitchingagain @h3xi2g0n3 @l0v3do11 lmk if u want to be added (msg or inbox)ăŸ(Ï`ïŒ)ïŸ
#đ.thanksalotcupid#kozume kenma#kenma kozume#kozume kenma x reader#kozume kenma x fem!reader#kenma kozume x reader#kenma kozume x fem!reader#kenma x reader#kozume x reader#smau#kenma smau#haikyuu#haikyuu smau#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! smau
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pasting a ramble i did on discord of analysis/conjecture/headcanons about liko's home life/upbringing, with strong likodot flavor in the latter half as usual, nearly verbatim because i think i worded it pretty much perfectly the first time while relaying my thoughts to friends... just edited for easier reading slightly
liko doesnât canonically show attachment issues or abandonment worries really, but i headcanon her with some of that because like. parents busy all the time. not a lot of people in her life and the ones that are, aka mainly her caretakers (she's implied to not really have friends at the start of the show) donât communicate with her great or are sometimes unavailable for stretches of time.
it makes a lot of sense to me that canonically the brave asagi feels like home so quickly to her. because itâs stable. the same people are always there, she literally lives with them on an airship. but like. they're stable adult figures that arenât disappearing for periods of time, and friedeâs forgetfulness aside (lighthearted), people who communicate with her better. this does wonders for her bdjdjdsk
i also think her selflessness to point of fault could tie in with this, like blaming herself for situations and shrugging off her own feelings (she often doesnât even notice when she herself is upset/moody on multiple occasions!!) could have been a habit developed from this very thing. she loves her parents and doesnât want to have to view them as absent or being poor at communication so everything is her fault. she doesnât want to be pointing blame or to cause problems when people are home or things are good so she dissociates away her own feelings and is very polite and considerate of anything that comes up.
i say all this because i think itâd be an interesting way to spin likoâs character who is already interesting. but also i got to thinking about this manifesting in her relationship with dot down the line. cause like adult figures are one thing but also friends and hell having a girlfriend is kind of different. and dot does actually get busy sometimes because she is still working as gurumin on top of schoolwork (this is headcanons for vaguely what a couple years from now as of HZ053 at the time of writing might look like or something. dot going to more normal schooling similar to how liko has been, on top of still being gurumin)
this starts sparking anxiety in liko but first she shoves it down and acts like itâs fine. and then it starts slipping through the cracks. cue comedy of her being like WHY AM I THINKING CRAZY THINGS LIKE âI WANT TO INTERRUPT GURUMIN VIDEO EDITING TO HANG OUT WHO HAVE I BECOME WHAT SORT OF GURUMIN FAN AM I AHHHH also i don't want to be clingy to dot she likes her independent space...â
still, her response is to be like no it's fine, i have to be fine with this, i'm just acting crazy, dot has literally never done anything to warrant me feeling like this, i am being a bad girlfriend. and dot notices this in her demeanor and is like hey what's wrong? and likoâs like What!
anyway they talk it out and come to some sort of middle ground where of course dot still needs to be alone sometimes either to focus or to just have alone time in general. sheâs not gonna let liko derail into a worsening spiral of clinginess. but! she is going to reassure her that itâs fine!
and also cue liko sometimes being able to hang out quietly in her room doing her own thing like lying in dotâs bed on her phone while dot video edits... also way more self indulgent, extremely âthis is so not canon but i am a shipper let me liveâ imagery: dot managing her gurumin socials on her phone in her bed with one hand and liko lying on her bed partially on her lap like a lapcat while dot pets her hair with the other hand. in this essay i will
thanks for coming to my ted talk i've been rotating this in my brain for weeks
#likodot#dotliko#guruminshipping#horizons#kiki was here#kiki.txt#i have many more thoughts on the brain but i wanted to get this specific one out first#also im tagging it bc I FEEL VERY STRONGLY..
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for those who are unaware
the infamous "everyone hates me because i defend an actor nobody likes and therefore am a special little victim despite harassing countless mbav-centric blogs"-blog found her way into me & @/morganweir's discord the other night. this post will serve as information for anybody on discord who happens to be unaware of who she is/uncomfortable with interaction. this will also be a retelling of just??? other strange shit theyve said/done in the server??? so yeah đ
anything with a * will have proof under the cut for the sake of being concise, alt text not yet provided at the time of posting, server members that are not mods have been scribbled out for the sake of their privacy
this is her discord handle, which used to be completely different when she joined. her first username was "sweetgoldensunflower_67494"*, until she changed it to "bennyweirsgirlfriend_86787". to most of us, this was an immediate red flag/signal that this might've been "the benny anon". to me and mer in particular, we wanted to wait to see if we'd possibly misjudged someone's character before making any attempts to kick or ban. some may consider that too slow of a method for taking action with this person, when really, there are a handful of atticus/benny "defenders" to this day who are more normal about hiding that part of themselves than this person, and it would've looked even worse if we kicked someone for seeming like the benny anon.
and for a minute or so, she too seemed normal, until she made her intro. where she faked her age.
you'll notice that a lot of her messages are edited, and some members brought to my attention that her intro said "20" at first instead of "24". why on earth would a 20something year old have their screen/username as "girlfriend of canonical child"? idk! regardless i hadn't noticed the change in her intro due to being busy irl for the majority of her interactions. speaking of interactions,
i'm never going to fault someone for not knowing how to use discord, newer members to our server most likely haven't been using it as long as older members, but this exchange was in reference to our "rules & roles" channel that is set to "read only" mode for members who aren't mods. i assume the "permission" she was talking about was the ability to write messages in that channel.
bringing discourse into our channels isn't exactly uncommon, as most of us are mature enough to have conversations that don't get into personal absolutes like this, in regards to a member's video essay on radio rebel.
at this point, the language used by her messages were just carbon copies of her anons** as all of them followed the same theme of her "fave" being "hated" or attacked. she would go on to assume the worst** of other members the same way. this was expect of her as anyone who's had the displeasure of the benny anon in their inbox knows how she likes to go on her tangents. what we did not expect was her finding a server member's personal instagram page, going through their following list, and choosing to make unnecessary commentary on it.
this was the last straw for me, as i have no patience for cyberstalking no matter how "small" it may seem. i proceeded to ban & block her.
i suggest that yall reading this do not continue to engage with her, especially those who are members of the mbav server, as i'm pretty sure it would do nothing to protect people from potential harassment, nor would it benefit us as people who just want to partake in enjoying mbav.
that's all đ
*original username
**personalizing critiques of atticus mitchell as "hate"
#no main tags bc i think this will find its audience lol#like i said guys. if we ignore her and block her every chance we get she will eventually tire herself out#kinda being a hypocrite by posting this but i ultimately just want us as a community to stay informed & alert. peace#ramblings
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Whether you're a student, a journalist, or a business professional, knowing how to do high-quality research and writing using trustworthy data and sources, without giving in to the temptation of AI or ChatGPT, is a skill worth developing.
As I detail in my book Writing That Gets Noticed, locating credible databases and sources and accurately vetting information can be the difference between turning a story around quickly or getting stuck with outdated information.
For example, several years ago the editor of Parents.com asked for a hot-take reaction to country singer Carrie Underwood saying that, because she was 35, she had missed her chance at having another baby. Since I had written about getting pregnant in my forties, I knew that as long as I updated my facts and figures, and included supportive and relevant peer-reviewed research, I could pull off this story. And I did.
The story ran later that day, and it led to other assignments. Here are some tips Iâve learned that you should consider mastering before you turn to automated tools like generative AI to handle your writing work for you.
Find Statistics From Primary Sources
Identify experts, peer-reviewed research study authors, and sources who can speak with authorityâand ideally, offer easily understood sound bites or statistics on the topic of your work. Great sources include professors at major universities and media spokespeople at associations and organizations.
For example, writer and author William Dameron pinned his recent essay in HuffPost Personal around a statistic from the American Heart Association on how LGBTQ people experience higher rates of heart disease based on discrimination. Although he first found the link in a secondary source (an article in The New York Times), he made sure that he checked the primary source: the original study that the American Heart Association gleaned the statistic from. He verified the information, as should any writer, because anytime a statistic is cited in a secondary source, errors can be introduced.
Dive Into Databases
Jen Malia, author of The Infinity Rainbow Club series of childrenâs books (whom I recently interviewed on my podcast), recently wrote a piece about dinosaur-bone hunting for Business Insider, which she covers in her book Violet and the Jurassic Land Exhibit.
After a visit to the Carnegie Museum of Natural History in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Malia, whose books are set in Philadelphia, found multiple resources online and on the museum site that gave her the history of the Bone Wars, information on the exhibits she saw, and the scientific names of the dinosaurs she was inspired by. She also used the Library of Congressâ website, which offers digital collections and links to the Library of Congress Newspaper Collection.
Malia is a fan of searching for additional resources and citable documents with Google Scholar. âIf I find that a secondary source mentions a newspaper article, Iâm going to go to the original newspaper article, instead of just stopping there and quoting,â she says.
Your local public library is a great source of free information, journals, and databases (even ones that generally require a subscription and include embargoed research). For example, your search should include everything from health databases (Sage Journals, Scopus, PubMed) to databases for academic sources and journalism (American Periodical Series Online, Statista, Academic Search Premier) and databases for news, trends, market research, and polls (the Harris Poll, Pew Research Center, Newsbank, ProPublica).
Even if you find a study or paper that you canât access in one of those databases, consider reaching out to the studyâs lead author or researcher. In many cases, theyâre happy to discuss their work and may even share the study with you directly and offer to talk about their research.
Get a Good Filtering System
For journalist Paulette Perhachâs article on ADHD in The New York Times, she used Epic Research to see âdual team studies.â That's when two independent teams address the same topic or question, and ideally come to the same conclusions. She recommends locating research and experts via key associations for your topic. She also likes searching via Google Scholar but advises filtering it for studies and research in recent years to avoid using old data. She suggests keeping your links and research organized. âAlways be ready to be peer-reviewed yourself,â Perhach says.
When you are looking for information for a story or project, you might be inclined to start with a regular Google search. But keep in mind that the internet is full of false information, and websites that look trustworthy can sometimes turn out to be businesses or companies with a vested interest in you taking their word as objective fact without additional scrutiny. Regardless of your writing project, unreliable or biased sources are a great way to torpedo your workâand any hope of future work.
For Accuracy, Go to the Government
Author Bobbi Rebell researched her book Launching Financial Grownups using the IRSâ website. âI might say that you can contribute a certain amount to a 401K, but it might be outdated because those numbers are always changing, and itâs important to be accurate,â she says. âAI and ChatGPT can be great for idea generation,â says Rebell, âbut you have to be careful. If you are using an article someone was quoted in, you donât know if they were misquoted or quoted out of context.â
If you use AI and ChatGPT for sourcing, you not only risk introducing errors, you risk introducing plagiarismâthere is a reason OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, is being sued for downloading information from all those books.
Historically, the Loudest Isnât the Best
Audrey Clare Farley, who writes historical nonfiction, has used a plethora of sites for historical research, including Women Also Know History, which allows searches by expertise or area of study, and JSTOR, a digital library database that offers a number of free downloads a month. She also uses Chronicling America, a project from the Library of Congress which gathers old newspapers to show how a historical event was reported, and Newspapers.com (which you can access via free trial but requires a subscription after seven days).
When it comes to finding experts, Farley cautions against choosing the loudest voices on social media platforms. âThey might not necessarily be the most authoritative. I vet them by checking if they have a history of publication on the topic, and/or educational credentials.â
When vetting an expert, look for these red flags:
You canât find their work published or cited anywhere.
They were published in an obscure journal.
Their research is funded by a company, not a university, or they are the spokesperson for the company they are doing research for. (This makes them a public relations vehicle and not an appropriate source for journalism.)
And finally, the best endings for virtually any writing, whether itâs an essay, a research paper, an academic report, or a piece of investigative journalism, circle back to the beginning of the piece, and show your reader the transformation or the journey the piece has presented in perspective.
As always, your goal should be strong writing supported by research that makes an impact without cutting corners. Only then can you explore tools that might make the job a little easier, for instance by generating subheads or discovering a concept you might be missingâbecause then you'll have the experience and skills to see whether it's harming or helping your work.
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Growing Pains - Remus J. Lupin part nine
Growing Pains - part nine
A Hogwarts tale
Remus Lupin x Fem!Witchreader
1,5k words
This is part nine of a multipart series. You can find part eight here
Masterlist
A/n: hey lovelies! Thank you so much for reading this series of mine. I enjoy writing this so much and always look forward to hear what you think. Leave me a comment or reblog, it makes my day!
You had no idea why you had said agreed when Sybill Trelawney asked you to come to her office to drink tea after supper. You should have known she would lure you in with the promise of tea and then take the opportunity to tell you all about your future. You never took Divination when you were in Hogwarts, it seemed like a silly subject, nothing serious and definitely not something you would need for the job that you envisioned for yourself.Â
But right now there was not really anything you could do to stop her from telling you things you didn't even believe in. You sat opposite Sybill, tea cup in hand and she was staring at you with her big, magnified eyes just waiting for you to finish the tea. As soon as you did, she grabbed the cup from your hands and placed it upside down on the saucer. She mumbled a few words, waited for a bit and then took the cup into her hands. She studied the contents of the cup for what seemed like hours, while she hummed and raised her eyebrows in surprise from time to time.Â
âWell, well. This is an interesting cup, very interesting indeed,â she said finally. You nodded in response, not sure what to say.Â
âItâs a wolf,â Sybill said matter-of-factly before turning the cup your way so you could see it for yourself. Even with a lot of imagination, you found it hard to see what the Divination professor was seeing. In your untrained eyes all the residue of the tea leaves looked the same. Like tea leaves.Â
âIâm not sureâŠâ you started to say, but Sybill quickly took the cup back and started talking over you.Â
'Definitely a wolf. Itâs a positive omen, my dear. It means overcoming enemies and misfortune or sorrow in life,â she said while nodding.Â
âAnd since itâs placed in the middle, it also means youâre helping others with their concerns. Making others feel at ease. Apparently you provide much comfort,â she continued.Â
For a moment you were speechless. You did not believe in this kind of stuff. But this was very fitting. A wolf? Seriously? You stared into Sybillâs eyes as if you were trying to figure out if she was playing a trick on you. She must have seen you and Remus together and thought this was what you wanted to hear. There was no way this was legit. You were even a bit embarrassed you were so quick to believe it.Â
âWell, thank you for the tea, Sybill. But I should go. I have quite some essays to grade,â you said while hoping it wasnât too obvious you wanted to get out of her office as quickly as possible.Â
âOf course, dear. Take some time to think it over and if you need more advice, let me know,â she said with a big smile. You thanked her again, not really sure what for and then left. It was weird but while you walked away, all you could think about was how hard Remus would laugh if you told him about this.Â
You walked to the staffroom. You always preferred to work in the library, but you feared you would run into Remus if you went there. Ever since your argument last night you hadnât seen him. It hurt your heart to not talk to him, but in a twisted way it made sense. He had to realize he had to take care of himself and if you were preventing him from doing just that, it was better to keep your distance.Â
When you entered the staff room, you saw Minerva sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, reading a book. You quickly walked towards her and sat down in the chair next to her. As soon as she noticed you, Minerva slammed her book shut and looked at you with a cheeky smile.Â
âIâve heard youâve been busy,â she said. You looked at her with surprise in your eyes.Â
âNot particularly, I only had two classes to teach today and then after dinner I went to drink a cup of tea with Sybill but it was an ambush and she insisted on reading my tea leaves and..â you stopped talking when you saw Minerva shaking her head.Â
âThatâs not what I meant. Severus told me he saw you and Remus kiss,â she said with a giggle. It was so weird to see Minerva this girly and giggly about something and you involuntarily smiled as well.Â
âSeverus is a creep. He sat in the dark in the Defence classroom waiting for Remus. We didnât see him when we got in and..â you didnât finish your sentence, suddenly embarrassed.Â
âBecause you were obviously busy. Iâm so happy for the two of you,â Minerva answered. You just stared at the fire, hoping that she would change the subject but of course she didnât.Â
âWhy do I get a feeling youâre not happy?â she said after a short silence. You sighed and quickly explained what happened between you and Remus last night after Severus had left. You didnât even hesitate. It felt good to talk about it to someone else and it had been bothering you the entire day. When you finished, Minerva looked at you with a frown between her brows.Â
âSo after finally admitting your feelings to one another you get into a fight because Remus tells you you make him feel better than ever?âÂ
You quickly shook your head.Â
âNo, you donât understand, Minnie. Heâs being irresponsible. He needs to take his potion and I canât be the one who prevents him from doing so. No, not even if he says I make him feel better than ever,â you snapped back. She was acting like it was just that simple.Â
âYouâre scared. This is a commitment. What if he hurts you? What if you hurt him? But thatâs the thing with love, my dear Y/N. Itâs all about taking risks. And right now youâre not even giving it a fair chance. Youâre just making up all of these different reasons why it wonât work out. Thatâs not exactly brave.â For a while you just sat there. Minervaâs words werenât nice to hear, but you knew they were true. In an attempt to protect yourself and Remus from getting hurt, you hurt the both of you.Â
âWell, Iâm a true Ravenclaw, I guess. Head full of knowledge but no courage to be found,â you mumbled more to yourself than to anyone else.Â
âLuckily one of you is a Gryffindor,â Minerva said with a smile, after which she pointed to the door. Remus Lupin had just entered the staff room. As soon as you caught his eye, you looked away. This didnât stop him from coming over to where you were sitting.Â
âY/N. Hey. I went to the library first and when you werenât there I hoped to find you here. Can we talk?â he quickly said. He was even brave enough to softly touch your arm, a true Gryffindor indeed.Â
âRemus. Just the person we wanted to see. Can you hand over your watch please?â Minerva said sternly before you could respond. And because itâs the only right thing to do when Minerva McGonnagal tells you to do something, Remus obeyed. Minerva took the watch from him and then handed it over to you.Â
âSee, Y/N is going to put an enchantment on your watch so it reminds you every night to take your potion. That way you wonât be able to forget,â Minerva explained. You looked at her in surprise. Of course. This was so simple yet so effective. Somehow she had just come up with the perfect solution. You smiled and then grabbed your wand. It was a simple spell and you were done in the blink of an eye. Â
âIt will start ringing every night at eight and it wonât stop until you complete your task,â you said after you were done. Remus gave you a smile.Â
âThen I wonât postpone the task for too long, the ringing will probably get on my nerves,â he answered.Â
âYeah, thatâs the idea,â you answered and you helped him put the watch back on.Â
âThank you, love,â Remus said and then he grabbed your hand.Â
âDo you want to go for a walk? I havenât seen you all day,â he then said and you nodded. You said goodbye to Minerva and then left the staff room with Remus.Â
And just like that, everything seemed perfectly normal again. Aside from the fact that you were now walking hand in hand with the Defence professor trying to stay calm but wanting nothing more than to kiss him again. And again. Oh how you hoped you would get to kiss him again soon.Â
To be continuedâŠ
tags: @turvi @carlito55ainzbae @spidermansolosurfav
#remus lupin x reader insert#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin#remus john lupin#remus lupin series#growing pains part nine
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Oh my godâŠI just read chapter 12 and I CANNOT I REALLY NEED TO WRITE THIS ONE OUT đđ CHIP IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY BUT THE WAY THIS LITERALLY RIPPED ME APARTTTT THE PAIN IS TOO GOOD đ„Č
Your story writing and symbolism never ceases to amaze me. The bits and pieces of significant object or events that references the earlier parts of the story and makes the pieces fall into place are so DELICIOUS like idek any other word for it because itâs just so *chefs kiss*
Iâm just gonna point out a few Iâve noticed because itâs honestly wrecking me internally so much and I need you to know that đ«”đ»đ«”đ»đ«”đ»đ
1) THE FIRE
The way demon Jungkook just spawns these little flames out of nowhere and MC is like ??? But it turns out itâs just smth heâs been doing THEIR WHOLE FRIENDSHIP TOGETHER AS A WAY TO CALM HER ANXIETY LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT ONE RUN ME OVER WITH A CROP DUSTER
2) THE VASE
that little vase that Taehyung gifted her after her miscarriage that she smashed đđ why just whyyyyyyy stop making these little objects the cause of my mental breakdown (jk ily and your stories đ„ș)
3) THE TREE SCENE
Iâm not exactly too sure on this one tbh but that scene when she was in hell and weeping over the forest as she hugged the tree, was that supposed to represent the imaginary friend she had been talking to all along? Or did it remind her of them? But still the chills đ© also I wasnât sure if that little girl she saw in the tunnel was supposed to be some evil version of her daughter đïžđïž but also was her daughter actually her daughter or an Angel that took on the form of her daughter
4) DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS
THAT CHAPTER WAS JUST A HUGE RECALL TO AN EARLIER SCENE IN THE STORY, when demon JK made a deal with a woman but her partner ended up dying. Itâs almost like they intentionally give them hope only to crush it and take it away from them, even more so because itâll be too late and they canât do anything having given their soul. The event of MC being cured only for her to become sick not long after and dying are literally paralleled with that woman, only with JK being the demon. But also FUCK Jisoo and that stank ass kid I could never be as kind and gentle as MC like YOURE ON YOUR MFKN OWN đ
5) LUCIFER
The way I KNEW that he was gonna be the one to make the deal with Jungkook like THE SECOND THAT SLUT WALKED IN AND YOU DESCRIBED HIS TATTOO ANSJDJKFJF
5) THE KISS
oh god I saved the best for last⊠this one broke me because I KNEW IT I KNEWWWW THE SECOND MC WENT LIKE âis that all I get? âșïžâ MY SOUL WAS GONNA BE BLENDED, JUICED AND THROWN DOWN THE SINK đđđđđđđđ AND THATS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART, BECAUSE THAT DIRECTLY TIES INTO WHY ANGEL MC STOPPED DEMON JK FROM KISSING HER HOLY SHIT YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND đđđ THE WAY I STARED INTO SPACE FOR A WHOLE MINUTE WITH WATERY EYES đ„Čđ„Č her going ânot yetâ and him being confused asF. SHE WANTED TO BE ABLE TO FINALLY KISS HIM AS JUNGKOOK, HER LOVER, WHEN SHE SUCCEEDED IN REACHING THE FLAME
That took so much out of me omg đ§ I really hope Iâm not bothering you with my essays đ I typically do this when I read writings that have a lot of puzzles and important details like just add my little thoughts and things I love- thereâs a term for it but itâs slipping my mind đ ty so much for gifting this amazing work of art for us to read đ
HAHAHA I love how enthusiastic you always are đ it's amazing đ
There's a lot to unpack here!! Let's do it^^
1. THE FIRE:
I'm so glad you picked up on that!!! LOL run me over too while you're at it đ đ„
2. THE VASE:
Yessss Tae's wedding gift đ„ș again I am so so glad that you recalled her smashing it đ that hurted me to write ngl đ
3. THE TREE SCENE:
This is actually a really cool theory! The tree actually represents someone who committed violence against oneself. It's part of Dante's Inferno with my own little twist. Our lil angel just felt grief for the soul đ
THE TUNNEL and BABY ANGEL: Again, another cool theory! The demon in the tunnel is just a demon tho! It was briefly mentioned on kookies 17th birthday that she was spooked in the woods. I didn't find it necessary to go all into that since it was just a ghost story that was explained in the tunnel :) Basically it was one of Apple's childhood fears that manifested in the tunnel đ„Č
As for the two scenes with the angel that looks like Aera, it is her! Sweet baby girl is an angel now đđ
4. DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS:
Babe you hit the nail right on the head!!!! Ahhhhh I'm so so glad you mentioned it! I was hoping that came across, we'll get more into it in future chapters as well đ« as for Jisoo, fuck that bitch. Her poor lil boy tho, hims didn't do nothin wrong đ but fair enough!!!
5. LUCIFER:
Yeah fuck that bitch ass ugly ass hoe đđ»đ€ą
6. THE KISS:
STOP IT IT'S TOO SOON EVEN FA ME đđ
Thank you so so much for sending this! I truly truly LOVE seeing what you have to say and your theories and takes on different scenes, I always look forward to it!!
I hope you have the loveliest day đđ
ILY đ„
-chip
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hi hello merry timezone I am here to be EXCEEDINGLY gay
anyone who still reads my fics (hi I love you), you will definitely have noticed a new name that started popping up in tags and notes last year being blamed for many things
that would be my dearest darlingest @queerfictionwriter, Twist, who I met via the comment sections on my fics back in February 2022, because she had been commenting on several of my fics - especially the f&p series - repeatedly through 2021, which I had not been responding to because I was busy and other things,,, truly the number of comments I had to reply to in 2022 was atrocious
and to be honest with y'all? I fully expected this to be a fairly standard fandom friendship, which is not to downplay how deeply important all of those are to me, but to give an idea of just how absolutely wildly unexpected (positive) Twist has been
she feeds my writing ideas crack cocaine, and has been the reason for (at last counted) at least 175k words I wrote in 2022. no, that number is not a typo, and calling it the "least" is not an exaggeration, because that amount was based off of finished fics and did not include WIPs. in 2022 I finished 175,000 words worth of fic because Twist was either encouraging me in existing concepts or inventing brand new ones that grabbed me by the throat and demanded to be written. she made the fire&powder verse go again, when I had been stuck for over a year. she's also the reason that I didn't abandon that verse in a spiralling fit three separate times last year.
and even aside from that - she's just. she's so incredible, y'all. she's smart and she writes so fucking well (I am so deeply into several of her fics, and they're all in a fandom I've never even touched), and she's fucking hilarious and sweet and the kind of beautifully resilient you should only be able to find in fiction but she is far from fiction even if she feels so much larger than life. (which is funny because she's teeny.) she's also a raging petty bitch sometimes and I rank that on at least the top 10 things I adore about her. she's feral and kind and just so fucking fantastic I don't think I could ever put it into words, not really, because how do you really put words to the feeling of meeting a part of you that was missing?
idk. maybe I'll figure out how but for now you get this rambling nonsense essay about how much I adore this woman and every single thing about her. go read her fics they're magnificent.
#about me#i love my friends so muuuuuch#but twist is my wormhole twin and very possibly some form of soulmate#and i just. fuck y'all. fuck.#i love her so much
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I was supposed to write a travel essay or personal Essay for class but wasn't sure if this was good enough so, tell me what you think.
Nature and modern technology do not mix well especially when we are in an underdeveloped and traditional area.
It was the summer of 2015, we went on a vacation to Hasanur for about a week. When we were there our usual activities would be âgoing on car rides in the forest routes trying to find animalsâ, and few games with family. This time we decided to do something different and pay a visit to the farmlands around us. Hence we went to a neighbourhood called âPalaiyahasanurâ. It was not our first time going there but we forgot how the place did not have any roads at all. There was only mud roads which became like swamps during rain, completely unsuitable for cars or any other vehicles.
The weather was all sunny and blue when we started but as we made our way nearer to those muddy puddles of a road it started to drizzle slowly. My dad was as usual, busy on the phone dealing with business and did not notice the roads or the rain, though he was on the co-driver seat.
Since he did not say anything our driver kept on going but slowly as the rains had become heavy now. Only after the phone signal was cut, did my dad realise the situation we were in, and decided to turn around. As the driver tried to reverse the car, it did not move. Instead it started sliding sideway into the muddy ditch like small trench.
Dad got out in the pouring rain and pushed the car from sideways as the driver accelerated it forward and backward, with no luck. My dad simply kept trying and with the given force the car moved sideways and he slipped and jumped into the small trench. Then we went forward for a couple miles to look for a spot to turn around, before the car got completely and utterly stuck in the muddy puddle âthe road like thingâ had become in the showers.
There was little to no signal in that area but somehow they called a tractor to pull out the car. We got out the car and, we ladies, that is, my mother, sister and myself started to walk away to get to the village part from the farming area. All of us were drenched in the rain and yet our feet were muddy. My dad stayed there with the driver to get the car out. My sister was very young and we still carried her around in our arms from time to time, as she had just started walking. None of us could carry my baby sister for a long distance, as it was hard to even walk in that pouring rain and slippery mud puddles.
After a while of trying to get the car out, the tractor got stuck in the mud puddle as well. It is hilarious to recollect it now, but the experience itself wasâŠ.no words to describe the emotions we felt then. We had to call a second tractor to get the first tractor from the mud puddle then our car. It was very dangerous to travel back the same way we came in our car, but we had no choice but to hope and pray that it does not get stuck in any other part of the road as the entire areaâs roads were no more than puddle of mud by then.
The driver drove the car very slowly and carefully in the puddle and rain. We ladies had already started walking to the nearby village, we continued by walking itself, and dad also came walking beside the car from time to time. We realised the dangers of walking in such an environment, that is, in the side of the road, the trench or the path like spot between the road and the farming lands. There were electrical fencing around the fields, to keep out wild animals especially elephants which are very common in the area.
As the mud was very slippery to walk in, we found it difficult to balance and even stand straight. I was in the lead with my sister following close behind me and my mom in the rear, watching over my baby sister. We were careful not to even brush against the fence as it was raining and we might get shocked to death, but my sister being so little she almost slipped and accidentally touched, if only for a second, the electric fence. She received a current shock and started crying and my mother immediately touched her and the current passed through to her as well.
After hours and hours of struggled walking, we slowly reached the village area, as the rain gratefully stopped. A nice lady provided us with some water to wash off the mud. She spoke Kannada. It was a miracle that she even understood what we needed and helped us in our time of need.
We waited in front of her hut for a while for my dad or the car, when none came, we continued our walk with feet hurting like hell. We had not even realised that, during our dire walk in the rain and mud. We had almost reached the end of the village when my dad and the car caught up with us and we returned home. It was about 6:00 oâclock and we hurriedly had lunch and retired for the day, exhausted but relieved to be under the safe roof of our home, away from home.
There was not one but many lessons to take away from such an experience . The one that really stood out to me was how we were able to stay calm and collected, and tackle the obstacles irrelevant of how we felt. Life is filled with mountains and hills off obstacles and failures along with the success and pleasures. We must heed no attention to our emotions during a time of crisis, it would do no good to sit and feel bad or cry our eyes out. Instead, we pick and dust ourselves, think with a straight head a logical sequence of actions to achieve the desired results.
There are no words to express the mix of complicated emotions and thoughts running through each of us. It did not matter though, we kept trying and when the first try failed, we did not lose heart and sink into a ball of misery, rather tried again and got out alright. We supported, helped and console each other as a family is supposed to do.
Our ages did not matter, all of us went through the same experience and we can Iâm sure remember till death that it was unpleasant, though, now, when we look back, reminiscing memories we only laugh and see it in a humorous light. Thrilling, fearful, panic stricken, humorous, life threatening and a crying baby with us is a few words about the whole experience.
Sure, panic is a default mode for people in such dire situations. The key is to lock that panic stricken emotions and fear into a box, lock the key and throw it away and focus on logic and reason. So that, our next action would let us escape. It does not matter if we fail on the first step towards getting out, we keep trying and trying until we get it right and done, just like the people climbing the highest mountain peak of the Mount Everest.
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I'm here with HCs about you, yes you đ star of my life !! đž Better get comfy because I don't know when to stfu ??
100% best advice giver. Like I'm thinking I'm a hysterical, blubbering mess about something trivial and you'd be like bitch calm down come here have some wine (affectionate)
In my head you look like your PFP. Which is kinda like well duh, what a stupid HC Lola, BUT I mean it in the sense that I just know you're effortlessly graceful and have a really good fashion sense. You have that aura about you, like people wanna get to know to you. Also let me borrow your clothes and while you're at it can you give me a mini makeover in your style pls thanks
You have crazy good memory for the things people say and their likes and dislikes.
Which means you an đamazingđ gift giver.
You are a perfectionist, which I mean in the nicest WAY. But basically if you do something that'll have your name on it, you make sure it's to your standard.
I feel like you're really gifted at something musical?? I could be totally wrong but maaaybe singing or playing the piano or something like that.
You are really quick-witted. That's not even a HC really, I mean it's just basic observation but I'm saying it anyway. The way you write such top tier bantering dialogue in your fics means there is no other reality but you being so hilarious without even needing to try đ
I really need to learn how to write short sentences don't I? Yours and Faye's HCs were so succinct and mine are like the most confusing essays known to man okay I'm going now love u sm đ
Wow an express delivery ask instead of the 5 business days that you had warned about! And you nailed most of them on the head too??? Shocked.
I don't know about being a great advice giver but I've been in that situation with my friends before LOL I like to be there for my friends as they talk out their problems and validate their concerns and occasionally point out when something is wrong.
That's a high praise thank you Lola! It's really weird that my friend just randomly told me the same thing about my mannerism. I never noticed it before, but I think it's because I feel the most comfortable when I'm composed and over time it becomes second nature. And we should totally try swapping styles because I like yours too!
I wouldn't say I remember EVERYTHING but with my ex, I used to keep a note full of things that he liked, tidbits like his shoe size and his parents' birthdays so I don't forget to send gifts etc. Now I still have an ongoing list for my best friends and family. I just really love lists. They are very helpful.
You're so right on the perfectionist bit. Being a chronic perfectionist used to literally ruin my life, but now it's on a healthy level (as in I don't beat myself up for not being good enough or hyperfixate on a small detail while the big picture is tumbling down). With my fics, I always have to give my 100%. It would bother me knowing if I could've done better but I didn't.
How did you guess this one omg?? I'm NOT musically gifted, but my childhood consisted of a lot of singing and piano lessons which I enjoyed, so the techniques are still floating somewhere in my head. I haven't played the piano in years (I wonder if the muscle memory is still there?) but I love to sing when I'm doing my stuff.
I'm glad you find me and my fics entertaining ;)
Also, don't you think this rambling thing is part of your charm? You're very affable and lovely to chat with and I never thought of you as annoying. You're always welcome to ramble away!
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