#I wanted to take Carmy by the shoulders and say: “baby we resolve our traumas in therapy

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The weight of 2x05 - Pop

So, I'm watching The Bear again and watching the sixth episode of the second season is so, so difficult to the point of causing physical pain because it's the episode that makes clear that Carmy is self-sabotaging. Self-sabotaging because he still hasn't dealt with and resolved the trauma he still has, wanting to be a person he doesn't, self-sabotaging by getting into a relationship never wanted because that man definitely doesn't like Claire, and self-sabotaging specifically with Sydney (and the restaurant by extension).

See, there was no, no reason for him to be with Claire at that moment. Carmy knows how to drive. If he just wanted to help Nat, he'd drive to the post office and back to The Bear. But, he doesn't do that! Syd said they would talk after he got back and out of nowhere he calls Claire and spends the day away, which is unnecessary! You could argue that it would be because he wanted to set up a date and found a way but… the point is that he had already set up a date with Claire!

Transcript of episode 2x05 (POP): Carmy: Hey, hey. I, um, I know we were supposed to hang out later, but, um, I-I was wondering if you might want to take a drive to Winnetka with me instead.

And, do you know why he did that? Because this idiot knows, even if unconsciously, that something is going on. That there is something good happening. Something good with Syd happening. Carmy objectively knows that he likes spending time with Syd, that she is good for him, and that he has this admiration, kindness and softness always directed towards her. But, to be honest, he also knows on some level (even a shallow one) that it's not pure friendship. Carmy is an artist, a sensitive person, and even though he is emotionally stunted, he is not stupid… completely. But Syd and the whole idea of the restaurant that she, they created together, everything that this beautiful, intelligent woman represents, is new for him. It's different from anything he has ever experienced or witnessed in his life. Carmy has never dealt with such healthy situations and such a hopeful future. He has never fallen so much in love with someone he has so much in common. Someone who clearly respects him, admires him, helps him and makes him feel good and who, perhaps for the first time, he chose for himself.

He doesn't know how to deal, how to continue with so many unresolved situations that he still has and as doesn't have the courage to resolve yet, so he takes the easy way out. Carmy was born, raised and thrived in abusive situations. He was guided and raised his entire life by Mike as his biggest icon and reference, and he loved him despite everything that happened between them. The brother who Carmy still in mourning and has not resolved himself with his sudden departure, loss of fraternal relationship and this feeling that he has to honor and be proud. That's why Carmy tries to have a relationship with Claire, because that's what Mike wanted for him. It's the simplest path, where he doesn't change, where he doesn't need to make an effort because Claire does all this work for him and his brother would love them. No wonder Pop comes before Fishes. He follows what is familiar, what Mike would want, what he has been told is right. What was always repeated that would make him happy. Which manifests itself in the insistence of Fak and Richie since Mike died, and they were the closest to him and agreed with the older Berzatto's ideas. That's why he decides to basically run away from Syd when she goes after him to do something together. Like what happened in the episode when she wanted to discuss the menu and the cutlery, and he ducked the whole post office thing. And when Syd says, making it clear that she wouldn't let him get away with everything when he gets back, they would continue talking, Carmy calls Claire and finds a way to disappear for the entire day. And so Carmy takes a long, hard look at Fak before calling her.

That's why the episode ends by saying that Fak set everything up for Carmy after he returns to the restaurant and this dumbie decides that he's going to make the move to start this venture that Mike wanted him to try. Carmy never wanted Claire or this whole other persona he assumed, or at least tried to assume. But, he's too unresolved and a bit self-centered and cowardly to do anything about it, which ends up coming back to bite him and unfortunately Syd and the restaurant in the butt. And this ended up separating him from what he wanted and who he really wanted, with results bordering on disastrous. In S3 Carmy better sort herself out, because Syd can be patient, but she's already shown that she doesn't accept unhealthy situations forever. And then he may lose the things he once loved in life through no one's fault but himself.