#I wanted to fit this into a gifset but a graphic worked out much better! :)

[ygo-gx]

“I will not give up.”

[sirtadcooper]

10-20 please 🥰

Phew! Thanks for putting me to work, Joy! <3

10: An old creation that will always have a special place in your heart

Answered here and here. Another one is this Pearl Mackie edit. I made five edits in this style of the Doctor Who cast and Steven Moffat, but this one is the neatest I think. I drew the doodles myself, I like the navy colour and of course Pearl’s orange nail polish in the middle photo!

11: A new creation that you’re very proud of!

Answered here and here. Another one is Starring Pedro Pascal - it came out pretty well, I think! I used to make edits like this with a fading effect but I was doing it manually with opacity and duplicating layers (I think there is a way to do it in Timeline but I don’t know how to do it) but this time I just went with no transition between the photos in the background and I think it actually looks better for it.

12: Pick your favourite creation of yours based on the colour palette

These Jim Kirk icons. I made these slap bang in the middle of two huge editing breaks, but I was very pleased with them. I was obsessed with Star Trek: TOS at the time and I wanted a new icon so I made these. I ended up keeping the green one with stars as my icon from October 2019 up until February this year. This colour palette suits this screencap perfectly, well done me, haha!

13: What is your preferred format? Moodboards, gifsets, poster sets…?

Any of these done well I will fall head over heels for! @radiantskywalker does fantastic moodboards, @sylvia-tilly made many inspiring ones back in the day. I have made a few myself but they’re not on par with those two at all. @millenniumsfalcon and @trashcora spring to mind for their stunning gifsets. Guess who I immediately thought of for posters? You have three guess but you won’t need them, it’s @sith-maul.

I realise I have not answered the question, and I guess that’s because I don’t stick to one format - I jump around all over the place. In terms of edits I have recently developed a clear style of inverted colours, best demonstrated here and here and here. So I guess I love edits because they get more notes than headers or icons, but! That feeling you get when someone uses one of your headers or icons? Unmatched.

Wait, I’ve got it! My answer to this question is anything but gifs. I have a love/hate relationship with gifs, in that I mostly hate them but I love to know how they are made.

I really belong on Tumblr, huh?

14: A fandom you want to create more content for!

I want to make some things for Star Wars and Rogue One! I haven’t made anything for them at all yet because I keep getting distracted by how much I love Din and Grogu and that’s perfectly understandable, I think. 

15: Talk about some of your favourite creators: what do you love most about their creations?

Oh gosh, okay! I’ll try to keep each of these to a few words as I am prone to writing essays.

@ewan-mcgregor | What can I say? Quality and Quantity. 

@sith-maul | Creativity, thought, precision, technical prowess.

@javier-pena | Coloured to perfection, every time, without fail.

@voidlila | Beautiful gifs and graphics with perfect colour palettes.

@millenniumsfalcon / @thernandalorian | Gorgeous colouring, not always what you’d expect, but perfect.

16: List some creators that always inspire you with their creations and talent!

Those mentioned above are a given, but a few more, in no particular order: @abednadir, @300mirrors, @cvanth, @skyshipper, @darksber, @kenobismullet, @trashcora, @sharoncarrter, @spotchka, @whimsicalrogers, @sugardaddyahxu, @djarsdin, @argetnallison, @perfectopposite and many more besides.

17: Do you enjoy working with gifs?

Gosh, no, I find them so stressful! Sometimes I fancy making a gif but the fancy doesn’t last long once I actually go to make them. The process of making gifs is so long and arduous and there’s only so much you can do with a gif and I just don’t enjoy the process at all. As I said I hate gifs but I also love to see what others have done with them! 

18: Do you enjoy creating graphics?

Gosh, yes! I find the whole process so much more rewarding, that you have the freedom to do anything, really, as long as you can work out how. I’m able to zoom in and put a lot of detail into my graphics which pleases me no end. I think it’s far more creatively exciting to work on a graphic, whether it’s an icon or a header or an edit. You’re transforming the source material completely, you know what I mean? I just get excited about graphics. It’s wonderful that so many people are learning how to make gifs but graphics? That’s where the fun really is in my opinion!

19: Do you like mixing up your style and trying new stuff, or do you prefer to have a more consistent style?

I’ve sort of answered this above, haven’t I? Oops. I like to try new stuff sometimes but always with a view to doing it my way. It has to fit in with my style or I’m simply not interested. Like the trend at the moment for text to be warped slightly into a shape? Not my style at all, I like my text boring, thank you. I have an inkling how it’s done but I’m not bothered either way. Almost everything I do now is informed by my love of making icons and headers - nearly everything is cut out from a background and put onto one of my creation. I’m an obsessive cutter-outer.

20: A creator you look up to!

Just one!? @sith-maul. I’m obsessed with Nik’s creations and I will not shut up about it. I’m like an embarrassing parent telling everyone how talented my child is because I’m so proud of them.

creators ask game | send me an ask

[softjeon]

Wolfsbane | Pt. 2

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jungkook • Genre: Fluff & little bit of angst  | Wolf!AU / Shapeshifter!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 16,2k | written with @cassiavioletblue • Disclaimer: mention of violence, light graphic content, smut

↳  For a a few short hopeful minutes he thought that maybe he could just have Jungkook here at his place for a little while longer, maybe it would take the others a few days to find him, maybe they were busy with something else - but he was fooling himself, he knew that and when he could hear the sound of paws drumming on earth he knew that this little adventure of Jungkook’s was already over.

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Yoongi kept himself busy the next few days. There was nothing to be seen or heard of another wolf and although it was what he expected he found himself a little bit disappointed against his will.

Jungkook had been a breath of fresh air in his everyday life and he would have loved to know more about him, about what he loved of being a wolf, what he wanted to learn or what life in the pack was for him. And maybe they could have even slept curled up against each other again… because Yoongi found himself longing for it even after those few minutes that he had had with Jungkook to feel it.

As lonely as it was with Yoongi, Jungkook already had enough of Jimin or the other’s sticking by his side with everything that he did the past couple of days. He hated it. He felt restricted. And even though Jungkook knew it was some kind of punishment for him not to act up again it only made Jungkook feel more restless, more willing to break the rules once more.

“Jungkook!” Jin’s voice made him shook himself out of his stupor and he looked up at the pack leader, “Are you even listening to me? How am I supposed to teach you if you’re not listening?” Jungkook tugged his feet under and sat up a little. “I am listening, Jin. I’m sorry! It’s just… I want to know more about hunting and how you fight…not…the other stuff. I want to learn all that. When will you teach me?” Jungkook was nervously chewing on his bottom lip as he watched the other rub his hands over his face in a desperate manner.

“How am I supposed to teach you at all when you got your head in the clouds all the time? I understand that it might be a bit much and a little overwhelming, but you still have to listen Jungkook. You have to catch up on everything and learn the rules a lot faster than everyone else or else you will always be one step behind. It's not your fault but you still have to work harder because of that. But it'll be worth it to be a proper member of our community, you'll see.”

“I am trying, Jin. It’s just so confusing sometimes…,” Jungkook couldn’t help but yawn, “And tiring. I’d rather just play with Taehyungie.” The young wolf in training sighed and quickly returned his attention to Jin. “Let me repeat then,” Jungkook began and straightened his shoulders, repeating everything that Jin had taught him about the last thirty minutes. When he was done, he nodded proudly and stretched out his tired limbs.

“You’re right. It’s probably enough for today. You can go out and play with Taehyung. Try to test out your strength and train your agility while you’re at then I don't feel like I’m letting you run around too much without doing anything. Food might  be here in about two hours.” They either got fresh meat when there was prey to bring home from the hunt or ‘human stuff’ like mushrooms and dried fruits and berries if the hunters came home without anything to eat. Jungkook nodded eagerly and got up from his seat but before he walked out of the main room, he turned around again. “Are you still mad at me? I know you still wanted to talk to me about something and you…you haven’t said about a thing about what happened.” Jungkook nervously played with the hem of his shirt, “I’m really trying my best to fit in. I’m just not used to so many people taking care of me out of a sudden. I really want to be like you one day. Like Namjoon and Hoseok. Maybe one day I can go hunt with you guys.” The younger one smiled in excitement.

Jin sighed defeatedly. How could anyone resist such a charm attack?

“No, you are forgiven. You behaved well those last few days. Keep it like that and we might take you to a minor hunt soon. Or maybe take you fishing.” He watched Jungkook run out so quickly he almost stumbled wondering where the hell the younger always got his energy. It was as if he was trying to make up for months and years that he hadn’t spent in his wolf form because of the human environment he had been in.

Jungkook was so excited that he transformed mid-jump on his way over to Taehyung, attacking the other wolf who had been lying right beside Jimin playfully. He growled, flashing his teeth while ignoring Jimin’s demands to go to play somewhere else, before he jumped Taehyung again, rolling around with the other in the dirt until they were not able to catch their breaths anymore from laughing.

“Jin said he’s going to take me to a hunt soon,” Jungkook was panting, shaking out his fur, “Have you ever been on a hunt, Tae?”

“Of course, I have you doofus! How do you think I’m supposed to get food for our pack if something would happen to our hunters? We all are able to hunt. Some better than others.” He gave a teasing side glance towards Jimin who made a face at him. “But you wouldn’t even catch a squirrel the way you fall over your own paws…,” He playful nudged Jungkook in the side with his snout. “You want to try and hunt me? If you catch me then I’ll let you have a bite of my portion if we get meat tonight.”

“Hey! That’s not true! I’ll be the greatest hunter you’ll ever see! One day I will lead a pack just like Jin,” He growled at Taehyung, jumping at him and giggling right after, “Just run! You know I’m fast…I’d outrun you easily.” With Taehyung it was always easy to let go and forget about everything but having fun. He was the only one Jungkook could really talk to as he felt like he was the only one who understood Jungkook in a way that no one else could. He was his best friend and as much as he was growling at him, he would never hurt him.

 Taehyung laughed at him. “You’ve got great plans there, getting your own pack and all. How about you just wait what the next few weeks will bring you? You’ll have enough on your plate with learning everything you need to know, using all of your abilities properly and at will, then being mated…,” He stopped and sucked in a sharp breath. He hadn’t been supposed to tell Jungkook before the pack leader had a chance to tell him. Though hopefully Jungkook just wouldn’t notice when he continued talking, “Also you need to learn to hunt and - oh fishing will be so much fun!  You’ll look like a poodle with all of your fur getting wet. And Jimin said he wanted to make a few errands with you, so you can accompany him to town to get a few blankets for the den. If you behave he might even take you with him when he collects the berries from the bushes - or lets you help search for mushrooms. Don’t fuck up though, food poisoning is no joke!”

But of course, Jungkook had noticed.

Suddenly hunting didn’t seem as interesting anymore.

“Mated?” Jungkook cocked his head to the side, “Wait…wait…wait, what? What do you mean mated? I’m not in love with someone or interested in anyone right now. So, why would that matter? I don’t need anyone. You have Hoseok, Jimin has Namjoon and Jin. I’m fine on my own.” He took a step closer, narrowing his eyes. He had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Taehyung. Is there something you want to tell me about?” Jungkook couldn’t help but get nervous the longer Tae was taking to answer.

Taehyung was stepping from one paw to the other. “That’s… that’s different. And Hoseok and me… we got each other the same way you will… ah, you know I’m not as good with explaining as Jin is. Let him do the talking. I thought you said you wanted a chase?” With that Taehyung sprinted further into the forest, running from both Jungkook’s reach and further questioning.

Jungkook let out a howl before he ran after Taehyung. He was angry and it showed in the way he was panting, growling with each jump. The more he was getting used to his new form, the better he was at orientating himself. He didn’t attack Taehyung this time, instead he just chased the other all the way back to their den again until the other was absolutely breathless. After the chase, Jungkook simply trotted past him, turning himself human again at the door. His brows furrowed deeply, his expression still angered.

“Dinner is ready in five!” Jimin yelled from the kitchen, earning himself a few cheers but from Jungkook. He took a shower instead, not caring that he would be a bit too late at the table. He needed to clear his mind.

Mated.

Of course, Jungkook knew all about ‘partners’ and how they fell in love, staying at each other’s side forever. Jungkook’s eyes had followed the way Taehyung jumped up from his seat each time to go and hug his partner whenever he came back from the hunt. Tight, loving, nosing along his jaw before he leaned in to kiss Hoseok. Jungkook had always quickly glanced the other way, but he couldn’t ignore the little stab he felt then. He wanted love, too. But he wanted to find it on his own and not let anyone find it for him. And even now, he could see the love each and every one of them had for their partners. And although it hadn’t bothered him much before, it left Jungkook wondering what it would feel like to feel like one with someone.

To share a special connection.

“Jin,” Jungkook only spoke up after everyone had left the kitchen and it was only the both of them, cleaning up the dishes. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Jin looked up, a little alarmed at the serious tone in the younger’s voice. “Of course, kiddo. What is it?” He put the plate aside and wiped his hands dry so he could turn towards the other without leaving a wet mess on the counter. “Are you hurting? It’s normally to get a little bit of growing pain in the few weeks after your first transformation so you don’t have to worry about that, it’ll fade. I can ask Hoseok to have a look at you, maybe give you some medicine for it…”

“N-no, I’m fine. No pain. Not even my hand hurts anymore. Whatever Yoongi did was good.” Jungkook nodded in thought, letting the tip of his finger caress over his palm. He sighed deeply. “What does it mean if someone wants to ‘mate you off’” Jungkook held Jin’s gaze, trying to look as if he had read that somewhere rather than Taehyung accidentally telling him. He didn’t want to throw the other under the bus.

Jin wasn’t stupid though.

He knew that Jungkook mostly learned from him and what he got from hearsay while listening to the others during dinner. He sighed, trying to give him an encouraging smile. “Did someone of the young ones tell you? You don’t have to be scared, Jungkook. I can understand if it might sound scary to you at first but believe me, all of our omegas had their own mate off. And does any of them seem unhappy to you? There aren’t that many of us left so for them to stay in the pack they found their mate here. But you, my dear, are special. So, I plan on telling the other two packs that are close enough to be of interest for us. They only live a few hundred miles from us so you could visit us if any of them wins you and you are new to everything, so you’ll adapt quickly to a change of scenery as well. I believe in you, Jungkook. You could do so much for the pack.”

Jungkook gulped heavily against the lump in his throat. His heart beating fast as he was trying to process the information. “O-other packs? Win me?” Jungkook shook his head, feeling hot and dizzy at the same time, “I don’t want anyone to win me. Jin, don’t you believe in love? I do! I want to fall in love and not…be someone’s possession like that. I don’t care about your wolf politics! I am not special. I am just…me. Please, let me find my own mate. What if they are scary? I don’t want to leave you guys. I just found you…I just…found a family.” Jungkook’s bottom lip was trembling and he clenched his fists tightly.  

Carefully Jin got close enough to reach out for Jungkook’s hand, unclenching them gently. “You did. We’ll always be your first family. It’s just that maybe you’ll find a second one. And I understand your wish, I really do, but how do you think you’ll fall in love with that mate of yours? Humans are off limit because they will always be repulsed but the animalistic side of ours. And even if we look human in our second form - we simply aren’t. You don’t want to risk all of our lives by being exposed, do you? Besides human love is fleeting. They don’t just have one mate they have many and even if they promise each other to stay together forever betrayal is a normal thing for them. You’d get your heart broken, sweety. So, it all comes back to the packs in the end. And as I said there aren’t so many, the nearest ones will come to your mate off anyway. You’ll see, when your future mate bites you for the first time your instincts will take over. You don’t have to worry, just let them guide you and you’ll like it. This is how it’s supposed to be. You will learn to love whoever will be bound to you sooner or later. You’ll be happy Jungkook, you’ll never be alone again. Doesn’t that sound like something that you want?”

“It’s not fair!” Jungkook pulled his hand away from his and took a few steps back, angrily wiping away the tears on his cheeks. “It’s not fair at all…I just found you…I just…” Jungkook was shaking from the effort it took to keep himself upright, “I’ll need a moment.”

Jungkook turned around and stormed out of the kitchen and right out of their home. He turned into a wolf again just as he vanished into the forest. His mind racing with a million thoughts. Jungkook was just running where his paws were taking him, the tears blinding his vision a little – but he didn’t care. He didn’t care anymore. The rain was splashing up the dirt as he chased through the woods.

He was panting when he came to a halt at the border of their territory. The young wolf let out a painful loud howl, one that spoke of his heart shattering. Then he let himself fall, his knees giving up on him as he curled in under a tree, hiding from the rain and letting it mix with the tears on his face. And only when the sun was already rising, did Jungkook return home. He kept his head low the moment he stepped back into the main room, not answering any of Jimin’s questions on where he had been all night. “Bath,” Was all he answered.

Yoongi had heard the cry, of course he had. It sounded so desperate, so helplessly lost that it cut deep into his own heart. He froze in his place, hesitating and wondering if he should run towards it, find out why the wolf was hurting so badly. But he knew he couldn’t. The members of Jin’s pack where Jin’s problem he couldn't just interfere, even worse, if he crossed the border without invitation they had the right to kill him just like he’s had with Jungkook. He couldn't do anything. And he shouldn’t even care. He had enough to do without worrying about wolves he didn’t know at all.

The pack took care of each other.

Jungkook would be okay.

 In the next couple of days, the big oak tree right at the border had become Jungkook’s favorite hiding place whenever it was getting too much, and he needed to sneak out again. The others were watching him closely but as soon as they were occupied with something else, Jungkook ran.

His heart was pounding so hard each time. The tears burning in the corner of his eyes, whenever Jin was preparing his ‘mate off’. It suddenly had been going so fast. As if they had only waited for him to know of it. He hated it. He didn’t want to give him any answers about what day he preferred or listen to what rules he needed to follow. Before, he loved his teaching lessons with Jin, when now it only tired him out completely. Not even play fighting with Taehyung was fun anymore.

“Get yourself together, Jungkook,” Jimin said and nudged his side, “It’s what we do. And you will love him. Everyone falls in love with their mate. You will, too. There is no other choice anyways.” Jungkook had heard these words a million times now.

He had no choice. This was his life as a wolf. As an omega.

“We’re your family. We know what’s best for you. What else do you want to do? Run away? If you step over the borders one more time the white wolf is going to kill you,” Jimin teasingly said, angering Jungkook even further.

“He won’t. Yoongi is cool! You don’t even know him!”

“But you do?” Jimin laughed and Taehyung chimed in. “More than the two of you! And now shut up. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Jungkook turned on his heel and walked out of the door, leaving Jimin and Taehyung startled and confused. They hadn’t seen the younger like this ever. “Jin needs to have a serious talk with him or else he will sabotage the whole thing,” Jimin mumbled and Taehyung nodded in agreement. “He will be fine. You’ll see.”

In the forest, Jungkook was running again – until the pain in his lungs was stronger than anything else numbing the ache in his heart and the thundering storm of thoughts in his head. He needed to talk to someone. Anyone but the pack. Someone that knew what it felt like to be left out. When no one else was listening. When you felt like…a loner.

As always he came to a halt right at the border, only this time he didn’t lay down to rest. He let his gaze wander over the invisible line that separated them, when Jungkook lifted a paw.

Slowly and carefully, Jungkook trespassed.

Yoongi had waited for him. He had found out of Jungkook’s habit pretty soon because he walked his borders regularly to check if anyone had was sneaking around. And with Jungkook’s smell still on the carpet that they had both been lying on he recognized his smell immediately. The younger had been here, right at the border. And a few days later he had been here again. And then again. So Yoongi had stayed close, telling himself that he wanted to make sure Jin didn’t sent Jungkook spying or that Jungkook didn’t hunt in his grounds and stole his food or made a mess - but in reality he just wanted to see the overgrown cub again. He was there in Jungkook’s line of sight before the other had even properly walked into his part of the forest.

For a moment Jungkook hesitated again, looking over his shoulder when he heard him. He snapped his head back around, his eyes wide when Yoongi was walking right out of the shadows of a tree.

“Yoongi,” Jungkook’s voice was barely a whisper and he bowed his head quickly to show that he didn’t want to fight or hurt him. “C-can we talk? I can step back over the border if you want… I didn’t know you were so close…but please, I’d like to talk to you.”

Yoongi listened and waited but Jungkook just stared at him with big, pleading eyes. His stomach had made a little somersault when Jungkook’s paws had hit the earth on his side and his heart seemed to follow because it didn’t want to calm down at the sight of the young wolf. Yoongi turned and casually trotted deeper into the forest. When Jungkook didn’t follow he looked back over his shoulder. “Are you coming? Whatever it is seems important so I’m not going to discuss it across borders. Let’s go where no one can listen in on us.”

Jungkook hastily ran after Yoongi, almost stumbling over his own paws in the process.  His own heart was hammering hard against its cage, threatening to jump out as he followed Yoongi deeper into the forest and back to his cottage again. Neither said a word until they were inside and Yoongi put a blanket over Jungkook again, watching him turn into his human form again.

It felt familiar to be back in Yoongi’s home and to his own surprise the other still seemed nice to him, despite his threats to kill him if he crossed the borders one more time. And although Jungkook hadn’t really expected it, he was relieved.

Jungkook sat down on the couch, watching Yoongi in the kitchen brew himself some coffee and the younger one some tea. He figured he needed to calm down if there was something serious to talk about. Nonetheless, there was silence between them while Jungkook reached out for the cup, burning his tongue as he took a sip. It took him a moment to gather himself. He himself hadn’t figured out what exactly he wanted to ask. “Why don’t you like Jin?” Jungkook blurted out, averting his gaze down to the cup of tea he was holding, warming his hands.

Yoongi stiffened, “That’s why you’re here for? To ask me about my history with Jin? Sorry, pup, but that’s none of your business.” His heart sank a little. So Jungkook hadn’t come for him, he just wanted to know about Jin’s background story. Of course, he wanted to know about his pack leader’s past. It shouldn’t be surprising, but he was disappointed, nonetheless. “Drink out your tea, please.” He swallowed down his hurt. “I don’t want to talk about it. So, if that’s all then I’ll get you home. You can ask Jin himself, he might even tell you.”

“I know it’s not, I just wondered. A lot. About you…and why you’ve become a solitary wolf.” Jungkook hastily said, feeling the anger and disappointment coming off from Yoongi. What a great guy he was, Jungkook thought to himself. It didn’t even take him a minute to anger the one he looked up to the most. “I am sorry. I didn’t want to poke around or…be annoying.” He sighed and got up again, holding on tightly to the blanket but before he turned again (because it was obvious that Yoongi didn’t want him to stay any longer), he looked at Yoongi with glistening eyes, “Do you have a mate, Yoongi? Did you ever fight for someone like that? You’re an alpha right?”

Yoongi raised his head, jaw tensing. “No - I’m me. And that’s all you need to know. I don’t play by the rules.” Although he had asked Jungkook when they first met what he was and although he knew that wolves of different groups had different physical characteristics he didn’t like everything that came with it. When you were assigned to a certain group after your first transformation your future life was practically set in stone. And Yoongi had not agreed. So, when Jin became leader of the pack, a wolf he had grown up with and called his friend he had thought that things would change, that Jin thought like him that being omega shouldn’t mean you were the lowest rank or that an alpha who didn’t want too much responsibility could just give it over to someone else who wanted it. But instead Jin had stuck to the rules as closely as he could. Yoongi had revolted and they had fought bitterly - until Jin had told him to leave. And so, he had left. Glad, that Jin had given him an out that wouldn’t end with him having to run and hide the rest of his life - but also utterly heartbroken about his lost family and shattered dreams. It had hurt a lot in the beginning, to be alone. To long for the others presence, the closeness of other wolves and to join their howl. It had taken him years to get over it. And now Jungkook came here and started poking at the wounds. “Do you see any mate around? No? Well let’s make an educated guess then if I am mated.”

Jungkook smiled faintly, nodding absently and ignoring the stabs in his heart each time Yoongi was talking back at him so angrily. “I think so, too. You’re you. Just that.” The younger wolf sighed, rolling his shoulders back. “I have four days left until they will decide who's right for me. Isn't that crazy? Jin says I’m an omega, so it isn’t really my choice and it’s best for the pack. Something about wolf politics, I guess.” The young wolf thanked Yoongi for the tea again, bowing and apologizing that he had poked around in his past when it wasn’t his intention to anger him.

“I just needed to talk to someone that wasn’t…them. I just felt,” He paused, taking a deep breath, “Alone. I am sorry, again. I didn’t want to anger you, really.” Jungkook rubbed over his eyes, trying to overplay the fact that he was close to tears again, feeling choked up with every word he said. “I just don’t want anyone to make decisions for me…just because they label me as such? Jin said, a few shown interest in me already because I’m ‘special’. It scares me, Yoongi.” Jungkook gulped heavily, thinking about the stories that Jimin told him about pack leaders, who had more than one partner. One’s that didn’t act out of love or anything else but only to show off their strength, gaining more than one mate, while the omega’s had no choice but to submit the second they were bitten. He wasn’t sure if Jimin was telling him those stories to scare and tease him or if those were true. Because, of course, there were the one’s about love and how one fell in love with your mate after the bite or soon after. But either way, he didn’t want that if he couldn’t choose it for himself.

“I want to make my own decisions. I don’t want anyone to claim me. I want to fall in love… I…” He stopped, averting his gaze, when he realized he was starting to get more desperate and Yoongi had already made it clear that he wasn’t interested in listening to Jungkook. He let a tear fall onto his cheek, “I am annoying you, already. I…I’ll just go…I’m sorry.”

The sadness came off of him in waves and Yoongi ached for the younger. He could understand him all too well, he would have done the same if he was in his place; fight against the pack, maybe run off. But Jungkook wasn’t him and he wouldn’t stand a chance if the pack went after him. And from what he had seen Jungkook was way too valuable to Jin for the others to just let him go.

He reached out for the younger and pulled him back and because Jungkook’s vision was blurry with tears he stumbled. They kind of knocked into each other and although everything in Yoongi screamed ‘danger’ he just put his arms around the younger and held him in his arms. He couldn’t show Kook an out - but he could give him warmth for a few minutes to hopefully rest his heart enough that he wouldn’t be in so much pain. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. I really, really am.” Being so close to Jungkook the younger’s sweet smell enclosed him and he gave into the urge to nose along his jaw, rub against the soft, delicate skin.

Jungkook gave in to him right away, wrapping his arms slowly around the other. Yoongi’s body heat was warming him up, his embrace feeling safe and when he nudged the side of his jaw, Jungkook leaned his head to the side right away and onto Yoongi’s shoulder. Who would have thought that the ‘bad wolf’ that everyone told him about would be the one to soothe him in the end.

Jungkook couldn’t understand why and how and maybe he didn’t want to understand it.

The younger let his hands wander over Yoongi’s shoulders, feeling the muscles shift underneath as he inched a little closer not wanting him to let go, because if he did then he would need to go back. “M-maybe they will not want me when they see me anyways. They could think I’m ugly, or too small or my fur isn’t fluffy enough. Maybe they see how jumpy I am, and they will get annoyed by it, just like everyone else...or they will return me,” Jungkook chuckled, a little too sad. “Do you know the other packs? Are they...nice?” He shivered a little in Yoongi’s hold, thinking about all his life he had been tossed around. No one really wanted him. And now even the pack that he thought would become his family didn’t want him anymore, when all he wanted was to belong to somewhere.

“Of course, they would want you. Not only are you exceptionally beautiful you also have politic value. And - I'm sorry to say this - but considering you are new to everything you seem like someone who is easy to manipulate and form into whatever the other packs want you to be.” When he felt the younger shudder again he growled at himself internally. He was so used to thinking unfiltered because he only lived with himself that he had forgotten how easily you could scare or hurt others with words. “I'm sorry, I don't know the others well enough to tell you anything useful about them. However, I can tell you that they would never return you. A mate off will be a one-time thing for you. Only if your partner dies would you be allowed to find someone else.”

Jungkook whined, letting go off the other in the process. “I am not easy to manipulate.” He mumbled angrily, sitting down on the couch again, pulling the blanket a little closer around him with a pout on his lips. “Political value. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Jin is literally inviting packs to see them fight...like it’s a spectacle. As if I’m a stupid prize to win. Do I have to go with them right away when they win? What happens then? I don’t want to leave this place. I like it here.”

“They will mostly likely take you back to their pack the day after, because... because they’ll want to claim you the same night.” He saw the horror dawning on Jungkook’s face when he realized what it meant so Yoongi hurriedly continued. “It’s okay you don’t have to be afraid, it… it might sound frightening but if you just let go of the human side in you who probably wants to resist… you just don’t have to think as a human. Let the wolf take over. As soon as the other wolf bites your neck you’ll get in the mood. You can fight it if you want but… you shouldn't. You’ll only hurt yourself. And it will feel nice if you just let your instincts take over. The wolf in you will know what to do even if you don’t. You’ll feel good. I promise.”

Jungkook shook his head repeatedly. “You’re telling me I shouldn’t be afraid of it when I don’t even know them…I don’t….I’ve never done anything like that…” He gulped heavily, “The wolf in me? Yoongi, what if I don’t have that? I’m already late with everything. What if…what if me suppressing everything…what if I can’t let my instincts take over?”

Yoongi’s voice got even softer when Jungkook told him he was untouched. He could only guess how scared the younger must be knowing that his first time would be with someone who he didn’t know yet. “Didn’t you... have a crush when you were human?” It would be so much easier to explain if Jungkook had been head over heels for someone because what he would feel would be very similar to being madly in love. “You don’t have to worry. If you can turn into a wolf then you’ll have its instincts. But if you... if you really want to make sure I could show you. I could nip on your neck a little. I won’t bite you, not really, but you’ll feel the effects, nonetheless. And as I said you can fight it if you want you’ll just know that if you let go you would want to be mated. Would that help your nerves?”

Jungkook’s eyes followed Yoongi’s movements nervously as he sat down next to him again. “I don’t know,” He answered a little too breathless, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of Yoongi touching his neck again, “I don’t know anything anymore…but maybe…it can help, yeah. You’re almost like a stranger, too, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Yoongi’s voice was still soft and warm. “But you are safe with me. You can try out that feeling and know that I’d never do anything against your will.” He reached out for Jungkook. “Do you want to come closer?” When Jungkook hesitated a little, not really sure how to position himself Yoongi carefully pulled him onto his lap. “It’s better when you sit because your knees might get weak. Just close your eyes and enjoy. I won’t leave any marks so no one will know. This is just for you.”

Jungkook’s hand held onto Yoongi’s shoulders tight, when he got pulled so quickly onto his lap, realizing only now that the other hadn’t thought much about his cover. Jungkook was blushing furiously as he felt his own naked skin touch Yoongi’s warm thighs and parts of the old sleep shorts he was always wearing that wasn’t nearly covering as much as Jungkook would like to, while he was fumbling around with the blanket to keep himself covered as much as possible.

“F-for me,” Jungkook whispered and did as Yoongi said. The heat in his cheeks giving him a soft glow as he closed his eyes, his fingertips digging deep into Yoongi’s shoulders, his whole body stiff, waiting for the impact to happen – for anything, really. He didn’t know what to expect.

Yoongi took a moment to look at Jungkook, really look at his face, his long, dark lashes, his lips that were red and abused from being bitten on out of nervous habit. The flush in his cheeks and his cute nose made him look even more adorable. When Jungkook’s fingers dug in deeper into his muscles Yoongi didn’t want to leave him waiting and leaned in. He didn’t go for Kook’s neck right away, nosing along his jaw the way he had noticed the younger enjoyed a lot. As expected Jungkook’s stiff posture softened a bit and he unconsciously bared his neck a little more. Gentle Yoongi kissed the sport he would nip on, right at the juncture of Kook’s neck but the intimate gesture seemed to make the younger rather more nervous than relaxed. Therefore, he didn’t draw it out any further and pressed his mouth against Jungkook’s soft, warm skin, his teeth scraping over it until his canines dug into the flesh just right.

It was like pure ecstasy running through his veins and Jungkook could feel himself fall into Yoongi’s embrace a little more. His breath shuddered as he bared his neck more on instinct, keeping his eyes close. His heart was beating fast, too fast, while he was taking short little gaspy breaths. Jungkook couldn’t explain how it was possible, but it was like every thought, every worry just seemed gone and there was only Yoongi replacing it. His warm aura. His sweet but cocky smile. Jungkook placed a hand against Yoongi’s chest, feeling the others heartbeat against his palm, before he opened his eyes. He shook his head to get rid of the dizziness and the image of Yoongi replaying itself over and over in his mind. Something didn’t feel right. His heart was missing a few beats and Jungkook took a deep breath. Jungkook had never been drunk in his life before, but he imagined it to be something like this. He watched how his hand moved up Yoongi’s neck, feeling like it wasn’t his own anymore when suddenly Jungkook could feel the warm feel of lips against his own. Yoongi gasped in surprise, when the younger pulled him in and Jungkook only took the invitation to the deepen the kiss.

Yoongi knew he shouldn't take part in this, he should keep it professional and hold Jungkook back but how was he supposed to resist the beautiful boy in his lap when he was pressing his body against the way he did and pulled him into such a kiss? It was sweet and heated but Yoongi could still taste the innocence on his tongue. Jungkook tasted like honey and spice, like passion and softness. It got to him, right where it shouldn‘t and both his heart and his loins warmed up. A full body shudder ran through Yoongi and he could feel how it resonated within Jungkook. It took him a few deep breaths to get his mind back on track. He wanted to make Jungkook feel good and take his fear, not indulge himself in the youngers sweetness.

Quickly, before his mind could get any other ideas he leaned back down to Jungkook‘s neck, trying not to think about how it would be to kiss him again and again until they were both breathless. Yoongi used all his desire to nip open mouthed love bites into the younger‘s skin, hard enough that it would trigger the younger wolf‘s responses but gentle enough not to leave bruises. If he bruised up Jin‘s precious cub – especially if it would show that he had bitten him - the other would be furious. Instead of taking more care the thought woke the rebellious side in him and he bit down harder. It teased an involuntary moan out of Jungkook and Yoongi smiled. Slowly he eased the pressure on Jungkook‘s neck, allowing himself to nip once more before he soothed over the reddened skin with breathy kisses that were just barely-there. He really needed to stop there or else he would fall into this too deeply.

But Jungkook didn’t stop, giving Yoongi no time to breathe, when the younger was starting to move his hips. He held himself closer, sweet little whimpers escaping his lips as he circulated his hips, settling on one of Yoongi’s thighs, feeling the muscles shift underneath. Jungkook was completely lost in the moment. Heat waves coming over him and whenever he closed his eyes, there was only Yoongi.

“Sh...shit, Jungkook!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open when the other rolled his hips into him and he could feel his own arousal licking up his spine. “Don’t… you shouldn't…,” He groaned, suppressing a possessive growl that threatened to spill over his lips when Jungkook whimpered, baring his neck submissively the way he already knew he shouldn’t. It took everything in Yoongi not to bite him for real and claim him as his. This was dangerously close to getting serious. Yoongi’s willpower could only take so much, especially because Jungkook wasn’t just any wolf, he really liked him. He wanted him. Way too much.

“Sweety…,” He tried to keep Jungkook from moving but in their human form Jungkook was the stronger one and he was utterly lost in this right now. “Jungkook! Look at me! I think you got the point. You need to stop if you don’t want me to react to this!”

Jungkook snapped his eyes open at Yoongi’s order, panting and holding on to the other. “I…I think I want you to,” Jungkook mumbled, nuzzling his face closer to his neck. He could feel the throbbing pulsation down in his groin, the pleasure rushing through his veins from just a few movements, from just thinking about Yoongi.

“Jin said I’d be able to visit from time to time. The packs aren’t too far away,” Jungkook was speaking quietly, a bit too breathless, “You know how packs are. Would you let me out of sight?” The younger chuckled, knowing the answer already, “Let me have something, please. I want to make a decision for myself once.” Jungkook leaned in and placed a soft kiss at the corner of Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi licked his lips right away, wanting more, all too ready to give into temptation. “I… I can give you something, but I can’t… have you.” Speaking the words aloud was like swallowing something down that he hated. “Jin would smell it.”

If he would ‘defile’ Jungkook like this Jungkook might be severely punished and Jin would also know that he was here. He could get his smell off Jungkook if they only fooled around but if he had been inside Jungkook… he shuddered violently at the image alone, growling at the thought of taking the younger like this, right on his lap.

“Is that okay?” He almost stumbled over his own words in his haste to make sure that Jungkook was okay with this before his self-control snapped and he would just go for it. “Are you okay with me getting you off?”

Jungkook felt light headed, a blush creeping back on his cheeks as he nodded and before he could think about it twice, he leaned in again. His soft lips touched Yoongi’s in a deep kiss, his hands nervously trailing up and down Yoongi’s shoulders and down his chest and stomach. Carefully, slow and with Yoongi’s guidance, Jungkook started moving his hips again. His hands on Jungkook’s hips were steady as he helped him move, back and forth over his thigh as Jungkook started riding it. He could feel the younger’s breath hitch against his lips when the pressure was just right and slowly but surely Jungkook’s exhales started to get shuddery. Yoongi kept his mouth busy, kissing the younger repeatedly until his lips were swollen and red, nipping on his neck again when he wanted to draw one of those beautiful sounds out of the younger that went straight to his groin. He was hard as well but he neglected himself on purpose. He was on precarious ground here, if the arousal got too much his wolf would take over too and other than Jungkook who was getting pliant and submissive his animalistic side would want to bite and take and claim. Jungkook wasn’t ready for that. And neither was he. So, he kept his focus solely on Jungkook. helping him to get closer to the edge with each roll of his hips.

Yoongi’s name was like a prayer on Jungkook’s lips. Whispered little words against the others neck as he moved his hips, circulating and holding himself closer to Yoongi. Jungkook didn’t understand what it was that wanted Yoongi to take over, but he loved it when his hands were gripping him tight, pushing him down onto his thighs, flexing the muscles underneath as he made him moan in pleasure. There was precum leaking from his cock, staining the shorts Yoongi were wearing, while the blanket was falling off his own lap – but Jungkook didn’t care. Instead, he let his hands guide him further, throwing his head back as his movements got more desperate, his moans a little higher.

Watching Jungkook fall apart in front of  him was what Yoongi hadn’t known he needed until now - and he never wanted to let go of it again. His grip on Jungkook was tight and he wished he could pull him flush against his body to feel every shudder, every whimper right against his own skin. But he was barely holding it together as it was, so he tried to stay strong, to not give into the urge to let the desire take over and instead tried to engrave this moment forever into his memory. Jungkook whispering his name and pleading for him made his heart skip a beat and so he kissed the sweet little whimpers right out of Jungkook’s mouth. Jungkook was shuddering, his thighs shaking as his fingertips dug deeper into Yoongi’s shoulders. He was moving fast but rhythmically, letting Yoongi make him lose himself in the pleasure completely. It didn’t take long for the heat to rush through him unexpectedly, swallowing him up whole and Jungkook choked on a moan, falling over. The hands were guiding him while the waves of the orgasm washed over him, making him black out completely. He was shaking apart on Yoongi’s thigh, desperately trying to get more at the same time until his body couldn’t take it anymore. A few dots of white dancing in front of him and Yoongi’s face was all he saw.

Jungkook came hard and the sight alone almost pushed Yoongi close to the edge as well. He let Jungkook ride out  his orgasm, watching as the younger tried to catch his breath, his hips still moving sensually against his own. Yoongi’s breath stuck in his throat when Jungkook made a sound, a satisfied sigh that made him want to kiss him again and then hold him until Jungkook had fallen asleep. Instead he swallowed hard, trying to ignore his erection that was starting to hurt already and concentrate on Jungkook. He brushed through the dark silky strands, scratching lightly against his scalp and Jungkook leaned into it, pliant and perfect. Yoongi’s inner wolf was starting to get dizzy with longing.

“Do you feel good?” His voice was a little strained, but he tried to be as calming and caring as the younger needed. “Do you need anything - besides a shower?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook hummed in response, keeping a little bit longer in Yoongi’s embrace just until he was able to think straight again, and the lightheadedness was gone. Only then Jungkook got up from his thigh, apologizing for the mess he made. “Do you have a shower? Can we?”

“Yes, I do.” It was a makeshift thing, but it did the job whenever Yoongi needed to get mud out of his fur or clean himself up after a hunt. “Just...give me a few minutes before you can join me, okay? I need to get rid of the little problem you caused.” Before Jungkook could ask any further Yoongi quickly stole a last, fleeting kiss before getting Jungkook off his lap and walking towards the shower, his erection clearly visibly through the thin fabric of his shorts.

Jungkook wanted to offer his help but Yoongi had already closed the door behind him, so he waited a few minutes before he stumbled after him. The younger showered with the others all the time, since nakedness was a normal thing between wolves and Jungkook had slowly gotten used to it by now. Nonetheless it felt weird to pull the shirt over his head again and then step under the shower with Yoongi.

Yoongi was still catching his breath when Jungkook came in but he had finished pretty quickly. Embarrassingly so. However, it had been practically forever since he’s had sex and Jungkook was just his type and after what they had just done his wolf was howling at him to claim Jungkook before anyone else could and then keep him with him forever…it was what had brought him over the edge after just a few more strokes; the thought of being with Kook, having him in his bed, mating him properly while knowing that Jungkook would only see him and he’d be Yoongi’s forever. He quickly tried to wipe away any traces before Jungkook could see - although he must know what Yoongi had just been doing. Kook wasn’t stupid, just inexperienced and a little naïve.

Jungkook didn’t waste a second to bend over right away, reaching for the soap on the bottom of the shower, not caring what he was doing to Yoongi. When he turned back around again, Jungkook was only giggling at the blush on Yoongi’s cheeks.

Jungkook was really tiring out his self-control. Luckily his nose scrunch and giggly laugh made him look so young that Yoongi wanted to protect him (just as much as he wanted to fuck him) so he tried to focus on that. “For a big bad wolf, you’re blushing a lot,” Jungkook teased him and then started taking care of the other. He wasn’t sure why, but his instincts had told him to do so. He was starting at his hands, soaping Yoongi all the way up to his shoulders and neck. “Turn around,” Jungkook whispered, putting a little more pressure on his neck as he massaged the soap into his skin, cleaning the other up properly.

Jungkook taking care of him felt so surreal and amazing that Yoongi got lost in it easily, feeling way too vulnerable for his liking. But it felt so good, Jungkook’s soft hands on his skin, his earnest care and cautious touches. Only when Jungkook was completely finished did Yoongi dare to speak again. “Your turn.” He let Jungkook turn around and them pulled him into an intimate embrace, washing his hair, his neck, his whole body. If they’d been in wolf form Yoongi had probably started to lick Kook’s fur because he couldn’t contain his affection but this way he just cleaned Jungkook up properly.

“So, that’s the first step; getting my scent off of you as thoroughly as possible. The second will be to put something else over it. We should go hunting in the woods. And maybe rub your fur against some trees or wet moss. If he still smells me on you then you can say that my scent was already there when you went to those places. But I don’t think he will. He has other things on his mind and if he’s not in midst of sniffing his surroundings when you arrive he won’t smell anything at all.” Which was both a relief and a shame, really. He didn’t want Jungkook to get in trouble for having some fun. Though he would have loved to mark the wolf as his.

Jungkook didn’t want Yoongi’s scent to be gone. Ever again.

He wanted it to be a part of him.

Jungkook gulped heavily as he realized what he was thinking about, about what he had done and the possible consequences. His heart jumped a beat and then once more when Yoongi suggesting hunting. Suddenly every worry was gone.

“You want to go hunt with me?” Jungkook could not contain his excitement, so as soon as Yoongi stepped out of the bathroom there was no Jungkook waiting for him, but a wolf jumping from one paw to the other.

It was contagious, the pure joy coming from the brown fluffy wolf that was basically trying his best to hold his excitement but failing. Yoongi laughed and quickly followed him, changing forms with ease. He’d done it so often that he didn’t feel more than a little pull in his muscles, a little tug on his bones. He wondered if Jungkook still had growing pains or if the younger was so happy over his wolf form that he didn’t even feel it. He nudged him with his snout when he ran past him, teasing Jungkook enough for the other to start running after him. Normally Yoongi tried to save his energy and only ran when he had to but with Jungkook it was fun to run as fast as he could, snapping at Jungkook’s heels or slightly jumping him so that the younger lost his balance, tumbling into the mud.

“That’s better than trees, actually,” He commented before playfully attacking the younger again until they both looked more like muddy creatures than freshly showered wolves. Jungkook was laughing, giggling and choking on his words whenever he tried to say something and Yoongi jumped him again. With Yoongi he could forget about the burden that was lying heavy on his shoulders and just be the wolf he wanted to be. Carefree.

The smaller wolf shook his fur to get rid of some of the dirt (but failing) before he followed Yoongi deeper into his territory. “Is this all yours?” Jungkook asked a little too loud, getting shushed by the other right away, so he repeated it in a whispery tone.

“Yeah, that’s all mine. It might look big to you but with a smaller territory I wouldn’t be able to get myself enough food to survive. And I’m lucky the wolf pack next door has lots of prey coming closer to me because they don’t expect a single wolf that close. I can live well here.”

Except that it got lonely - if he wasn’t just being visited by a lively, brave little fluffy thing named Jungkook.

Jungkook let his gaze wander around as he was observing Yoongi’s way of hunting closely, following whatever he was doing. They were quietly walking down a path, until they could perfectly overview over a meadow where a deer just jumped out of the shadows. Jungkook wondered if Yoongi had heard the animal already, or how he had sensed it being close, when all he could hear was his own heartbeat hammering against his chest. “Stay close,” Yoongi whispered and Jungkook followed his order easily.

Yoongi was a very quiet hunter, something Jungkook wasn’t really good at. So, he held his breath, trying to keep a bit behind Yoongi who was precisely getting closer to the deer, laying down behind the high grass. He didn’t want to disappoint the white wolf. He wanted to show how good he was, too - but he was nervous. And it only gotten worse the closer the big white wolf got to its prey, his whole body on edge, his muscles stiff and ready to jump out the second Yoongi would. His legs began to tremble from how much Jungkook was concentrating, completely transfixed on Yoongi’s hunting skills.

“A little closer,” Yoongi’s voice was so quiet that Jungkook could barely hear him and then he was starting to count. His eyes flickered over to the prey and back to Yoongi quickly. The young wolf wasn’t really sure what had happened next - it felt like a blur - but the moment he could see the muscles shift in Yoongi’s body, Jungkook released a growl and jumped out from their hideout and right onto the meadow. He stumbled over his own paws, not expecting how wobbly his own legs felt from being so on edge from before.

Of course, with Jungkook’s generous growly warning the deer jumped off as quick as it could. And only if he had started a sprint and given it his all then maybe, just maybe he would have still reached it. But he wasn’t that hungry, so he rather stayed with Jungkook.

“Uhm, yeah, no, that’s not how you hunt. You do realize that I was trying to be quiet for the deer not to notice me?” Though his tone was deadpan he looked absolutely amused about the young wolf's attempts at trying to be a predator. “I wouldn’t give up hope though - you might kill them with an overload of cuteness.”

Jungkook nudged Yoongi’s side playfully, “Jin, he only took me fishing until now. I thought we would jump out! You started to count! I was excited!” Jungkook let himself plop onto the grass and looked up at Yoongi, “I’m sorry. Can we try again? Will you show me?”

“It’s easy, all you have remember is to not do what you just did” He nudged Jungkook back, and maybe he even left his nose buried in Kooks fur for a little bit longer than necessary, inhaling the younger’s sweet scent. It comforted him, more than anything else could.

“Seriously though, we could practice - but we shouldn’t use actual prey for it or else there will be no prey in the forest that hasn't been scared off. You can try to attack me, if you want. I’ll close my eyes for ten seconds and you hide and then you try to sneak up to me, okay?”

Jungkook nodded at that, running off the minute Yoongi had his eyes closed. In a way Jungkook knew it was a helpless case, because Yoongi was good. He was very good. It took him a first few tries which he failed and chasing a butterfly that was far more interesting later, when Jungkook was finally close enough to hunt Yoongi. He was quiet. Holding his breath, his eyes and mind focused on his prey.

Yoongi.

With a precise jump, Jungkook started chasing, giving Yoongi only a millisecond to react to him. However, Yoongi easily took a step aside, making Jungkook fly past him and then tackled him to the ground. He put his paws on Jungkook’s chest just like when they had first met and gave him a lick straight over his nose. “Gotcha!”

“But I was close, right? It’s an unfair fight. You’re so much better!” Jungkook was panting, snapping at Yoongi playfully. Somehow it made his heart skip a few beats, feeling Yoongi’s paw press onto his chest, making him feel the power of the other. Out of instinct, Jungkook licked him right back, giggling softly in the process. “I like you, Yoongi.” Jungkook blurted out, meaning it just as a compliment but the moment he said those words, he knew there was much more behind them. “I mean you’re so much cooler. They told me you’re mean and…grumpy. But you’re way better than all of them.”

For a moment Yoongi had felt happy and carefree, the burden of loneliness lifted from his shoulders - but then Jungkook reminded him of why this couldn’t last. This might very well be the last time he saw the other. All Jin had to do was keep an eye on him and give him over to someone from another pack and Yoongi would never see Jungkook again. He swallowed harshly and eased his paws off of the younger’s chest. “Yeah well, I’m mean if you piss me off and I guess I can be grumpy. But you don’t know me well enough to have seen that side yet. And you probably never will…”

Jungkook noticed how Yoongi stiffened up right away and he whimpered quietly, nudging the white wolf softly. “I wish I had stumbled upon your territory and not Jin’s.” He leaned his head upon Yoongi’s shoulders for a moment, closing his eyes and just feeling the warmth coming from him. Jungkook sighed deeply, trying to ignore the ache in his heart. “I…I think I have to go back or else they will look for me again. Can you show me the way back to the border?”

“I‘m not sure if that would have changed anything. You are a social person, not made for the life of a solitary. I‘ve seen you with the others, Taehyung and...Jimin. You love it, playing with them, the little play fights, the evenings together in front of the fire, warming your fur and listening to the elder‘s stories… you would have missed out on that. And it is far more dangerous on your own. If I was injured we would both starve. The humans could hunt us. Another pack could see us as threat and kill us both – or worse, claim you as theirs. And I don‘t mean claim you as a mate but just as a toy. You don‘t want that Jungkook. You are too … gentle, too innocent to survive out there without a pack. No, you… you‘re safer with a pack. You‘ll have a good life there.“ His voice broke. He felt utterly hypocritical telling someone else to stay when he himself had broken with the pack because of similar reasons. Mating a young, naive wolf off like that was one of those rules he had despised. Sure, some were fine with it. And most mates fell in love with each other anyway. But Jungkook hadn‘t grown up a wolf and his idea of love was more human. To him it would be like... being sold. And still, despite everything a pack was Jungkook’s best option for a nice life. Even if it broke his heart to send the other back. “Yeah, I‘ll… I‘ll show you the way back.“ He turned and trotted ahead.

Jungkook could not even answer, staring at Yoongi’s backside as he trotted away. He quickly ran after him, still completely lost for words. It hurt him, that everyone, even Yoongi, was trying to tell him what was the best for him. But from every discussion with Jin, Jungkook knew better than to say something. Instead he kept quiet, his head low, nudging Yoongi’s side from time to time to try and make the other happy again. But the white wolf seemed emotionless.

Jungkook didn’t want to part at the border, he didn’t want to go back and possibly get scolded for being away for so long. Instead he nuzzled his face against Yoongi’s neck, whimpering quietly, begging to feel the care from him again that suddenly felt gone. “Can I come back?”

Yoongi hooked his chin over Jungkook’s shoulder in some kind of hug, burying his nose in Jungkook’s fur again. “Of course. You can always come to me if you want. Just make sure that you don’t get caught and won’t get punished for it. Apart from that my door is always open for you.” He had tried to keep Jungkook out of his mind and heart and failed so there was no use in trying to keep him out any longer as it would only hurt them both. He had to fight hard against the urge to pull Jungkook back in when they finally separated, staying on his side of the border while watching Jungkook slowly trot away.

At home, Jungkook went up into his room and took a shower, ignoring that most of them were in the living room instead asking him why he was so dirty. Jungkook let himself fall onto his bed after, growling into the cushion angrily to not let anyone else hear but Jimin heard it, nonetheless.

“What do you want?” The young wolf had sensed him a few seconds ago, his smell so sweet that it was hard not to notice whenever Jimin was close. His expression only softened, when he noticed that Jimin was carrying a plate of food. “Fuck, I missed dinner, right? I’m sorry.” Jungkook rubbed over his face tiredly.

“Yeah, you missed dinner - and also Jin came asking for you. Where have you been? I covered for you but it’s the first and last time that I’ll do that. You have to learn to stick to the rules Jungkook, they are there for a reason. Your mate off is in four days, you can’t just run around the whole day and then expect to understand what’s going on later. This is important. You wanted to be a part of this part so now you should act like you are and not do your own thing.” Although his expression was stern and his words harsh he had filled the plate generously and set it down with care. He could understand Jungkook all too well, his urge for freedom, his drive to see the world and experience everything he hadn't been able to till now. But he was also scared for the younger, for the consequences from him or of possible accidents, human hunters, anything that was out there and a danger to them. Jungkook couldn’t face any of that on his own and come out as the winner. “Please, be careful. We worry about you.”

“I was…just running around in the forest. I needed air. I can’t breathe here. Trust me, I’m fine. I can take care of myself.” Jungkook said truthfully, feeling like now that Jimin was covering him he at least owed him part of the truth. “Worry about me? You’re the ones who are giving me away. Just like everyone else…,” Jungkook gulped heavily, “I wanted to be part of a family for once. Not part of your politics. I am scared. I don’t know them. I don’t want them to touch me.” Jungkook pulled his legs in a little more, raking his hand through his still damp hair. “You’re all talking like it’s so easy.”

Jimin bit his lip, then he kneeled down next to Jungkook, carefully reaching out for him, a feather-light touch in his hair. “We’re not giving you away like everyone else. You’re ours. Our little cub. And you’ll always be. It’s just... as pack leader Jin needs to think about what’s best for the pack. It has nothing to do with you, if any of us were unmated he’d do the same with us. And you will be the center of attention. The wolves will fight for you. Don’t you want this, to be wanted so much that they would actually get in a fight over who is lucky enough to have you? And in the end you’ll get a strong and protective wolf who will take care of you the rest of your life. No more being lonely, no more feeling like you don’t belong. They will keep you safe, keep you fed. You’ll have someone waiting for you when you come back from a hunt, someone who will warm your bed and make sure that you stay healthy and… happy and…,” Jimin’s voice slowly died out. It took a while before he continued, his voice barely a whisper. “Aren’t we lucky? We only have such a small price to pay for our happiness. What would our bodies be worth anyways if no one would want us?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “Small? For you all it’s big and it’s a bigger prize I pay. I give myself over so you can have no wars, so you can keep peace between the packs. And no one asked me. Ever. It’s never my choice.” The younger wolf sighed, “I will never belong anywhere anyways. I’ll always have just me. No matter where I am…or who calls me their property.”

“You forgot that you won’t have any wars either. You’ll benefit from this just as much as we do. You might not see it now, but you’ll understand. You’ll see that your life will be so much better than you could ever imagine.”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and leaned his head onto his knees, “What was it like for you? When you got mated off?”

Jungkook’s sudden question took him by surprise. “Me?” He bit his lip, blushing a little before confessing, “Scary. Exciting. I was really, really nervous. And like you I had no idea who I would get in the end. But I was lucky, just like you are going to be and Namjoon is the best mate I can think of. And that Jin shows interest in me is just a reminder of my value for the pack so I’m… I’m flattered of course.”

Jungkook averted his gaze to the window and down again, deep in thought. “Well, you are the perfect mate. You’re sweet, caring, thoughtful. I’m clumsy, headstrong and my fur isn’t even half as fluffy as yours. What if they will see me and just turn around again?” He was clenching his fists, rubbing over his temples as he could feel a headache coming in. “Maybe it won’t work. The imprint,” Jungkook's heart was beating a little faster, his mind circulating around Yoongi and how he had felt when he had nipped on his neck, just gently and creating such a strong reaction from him. He wanted no one else to leave that kind of mark on him. It left him wondering when the white wolf had completely taken over his heart and mind, but it made him smile, nonetheless. There was no way Jungkook could live without Yoongi. He had absolutely no idea how he had lost his heart so easily, but maybe this was how it should be. “Wolves are meant for each other, right? Did you know that you wanted Namjoon before the fight?”

“Don’t play yourself down like that, Jungkook. Of course, they will want you. No one’s perfect. Besides your fur is the fluffiest I‘ve seen in a while so stop fishing for compliments.” He smiled but got serious again when he sensed how worried Jungkook was about the imprint. “I have never heard of that, of the bite not working. It’s... just instincts. You can’t really fight them. And you definitely have them or else you weren’t a wolf.” He hesitated before adding. “Uhm, no, not.. not really. I knew Namjoon and I liked him, just like I liked the others. But when he fought for me and I saw how much it meant to him to win me it just.. something clicked inside of me. I knew I would be his even before he won. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. And in the night that followed…” He broke off. “You’ll see for yourself. You can believe me though when I tell you that the next day you won’t want to be with anyone else ever again.”

Jungkook let the words sink in, but it only hurt him more. The more Jimin was talking about Namjoon, the more he wanted it to be Yoongi for him. There was no way this would happen. The young wolf had to face reality, even though he hated it. At least he could see one more time again tomorrow. There were tears burning behind his eyes and Jungkook blinked hastily, “I’m sorry I’m a burden, but please if Jin asks again…just tell him to let me be. I’ll be where he wants me, but I need to feel free. At least now.” He tried a smile and then pulled at his blanket, “Can you please… I’d like to just sleep.”

He could sense the sadness coming from Jungkook and hear the desperation in the younger’s tone but there wasn’t really anything that he could do to make it easier for Jungkook. So, he retreated, pulling the covers over Jungkook like a mother and then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’ll see, there’s an amazing wolf out there waiting for you and you’ll see him fighting for you and fall in love and you will be… so happy, Jungkook. More than you can ever imagine.” His smile was sad when he finally left Jungkook alone. If only he could make sure that his promises would be fulfilled. Because as much as what he told Jungkook was true for their own pack - he had no idea how the others would be. He just hoped he wouldn’t need to watch Jungkook leave them in tears.

“Did you talk to Jungkook?” Jin’s voice made him jerk around, watching the leader walk up the stairs with a stern expression. “Is he still awake? I’d like to make sure he knows how to behave. He’s been acting up too much. I can’t let him go wild on another pack like that if he keeps on…being… stubborn.”

Jimin quickly lowered his head, avoiding his gaze in respect and hoping that the submissive gesture would soothe Jin. “Yes, we talked. And you don’t have to worry, he knows what is expected of him and he told me that he’ll be ready on the final day.” The way he put it, it wasn’t even a lie. Because agreeing with Jungkook was one thing but telling the pack leader that their little problem child had also told him that he ‘just needed his freedom’ till then wouldn’t be the best move. For none of them. So Jimin could only hope that Jungkook wouldn’t run away too far, that Jin would be too busy with something else and that Jungkook really held his promise. “He was really exhausted so I don’t want you to waste your precious time with going to see him in vain. I don’t think he’ll be a problem.”

The alpha wolf reached out for the other, cupping his cheek and soothing his thumb over the soft skin. “You’re right. It’s good that I have you,” Jin was talking softly, pulling Jimin a little closer to him, “You’re much better at this than me. I probably fail as a leader when it comes down to Jungkook. He’s so different from what I’m used to - but that’s what makes him so special. He’s grown so much and still...he’s our little cub. I need to keep a close eye on him...maybe I should take him under my wing those last days? He always wanted that? Do you think he’d like that?” Jin was thinking out loud, caressing over Jimin’s cheek and pushing a few strands of hair back behind the younger’s ear.

Jimin nervously tried to think of a way to keep Jungkook’s schedule free while not offending Jin. “I... I think that’s a generous offer but maybe... it’s better to leave him be those last few days? I’m certain that he’d like it a lot to be your student of course but it wouldn’t fair to gift him with your presence when he might lose it permanently shortly after. He would just miss you more or compare his new pack leader to you - and of course the other would seem lacking in comparison to you. So maybe... you shouldn’t show him how blessed this pack is to have you and instead let him be because if he really stays with us you could always take him under your wing after?”

A few metres away Namjoon had been waiting for Jimin and now he just stood and watched. If anyone else had touched Jimin like that or tried to seduce his mate Namjoon would have had the other’s head. The pack leader had special rights though and also watching something as simple as Jin caressing Jimin’s face had jealousy surging through him like a boiling hot liquid he stayed calm. He knew that Jimin was fine with it. Namjoon was absolutely loyal to Jin. And still, if Jimin had asked him to make it stop or run away with him he would, in a heartbeat. Jimin was his everything, his love, his mate, the person he wanted to wake up next to and fall asleep at night. He could understand that Jin enjoyed ‘lending’ Jimin from time to time, especially as he said that he was ‘too busy’ for a mate. Namjoon thought Jin just liked to keep his options open. Because it would have broken any mate’s heart to be just one of many. Every time Jimin came back from Jin’s place he reeked of sex and guilt because of course Jimin knew what the knowledge where he had been did to Namjoon and he tried to soothe his hurt away every time, nuzzling his neck, curling into his embrace in bed and telling him that he loved him over and over to make sure that Namjoon knew that even though Jin could have his body Namjoon was the only one to have his heart.

“Stay with us?” Jin chuckled, leaning in to kiss the top of Jimin’s head, “The leader of the ‘Blue Moon’ pack showed interest in him.” When the younger’s eyes widened in surprise and shock alike, Jin smiled, “I know. They are travelling all the way here. I wouldn’t have thought it could reach that far, the news of our little cub. Even if he won’t win, which is highly unlikely, Jungkook will move to another pack.” The pack leader caressed through his hair one last time, placing a kiss on his cheek, “Now, good night, Jimin. The first few alphas of the packs should arrive soon, make sure to prepare everything tomorrow, will you?” With that, Jin turned on his heel, his gaze meeting Namjoons in an instant. He only nodded, before he retreated to his room.

“Blue Moon?” Namjoon whispered, even though he had closed the door right behind Jimin as soon as he had pulled his mate into their bedroom. “I thought Jin said, Jungkook’s going to stay close? You know the leader, right? He’s packed. He’s...the biggest wolf I’ve ever seen. There’s no way anyone will stand a chance. If Jungkook finds out that he will have to move packs even further...I don’t know if he can take it, Jiminie.” Namjoon still held onto Jimin’s arm as if he was scared his mate could go back to Jin any second, when all he wanted was for Jimin to stay with him.

“I know, but… it’s not like we have any choice in that matter. It was an open invitation so anyone who deems himself fit enough to win that fight is allowed to be there.” He leaned into Namjoon, seeking the other’s warmth and comfort just like Namjoon was seeking his. He was just as unsettled at the thought of Jungkookie having to face the elder. The younger was scared already and in comparison to the blue moon leaders massive wolf Jungkook might feel even smaller and more vulnerable than he already did. Not to mention that if the other chose to take Kook in wolf form first then it would definitely hurt. Some thought the pain was something that was supposed to happen during your first mating sex but Jimin just thought it cruel and luckily Namjoon had been nothing but gentle to him.

Namjoon nosed along Jimin’s jaw softly, placing a sweet kiss there, before he turned the younger and laid him down in bed to hover over him. “Promise me,” Namjoon breathed out, kissing Jimin once more, “Promise me that if we ever decide to really get ourselves a cub, that we don’t let them get too far. They will have a say in this, right?” The bigger wolf looked at his mate, his gaze piercing through him. They never talked much about the possibility of adoption, because for as long Jin wasn’t mated it was no option for them. Both of them had decided to take full care of a cub one day. Someone like Jungkook. That else would have been lost. “I don’t like this,” Namjoon mumbled and nuzzled his face in Jimin’s neck, hiding and searching for his warmth.

“Of course,” He sneaked his arms around Namjoon’s shoulders and held onto him while the other was littering his jaw with kisses, ignoring his neck just because he knew it would rile Jimin up even further to miss the spot that the younger wanted to feel his mouth on the most. “I’d want to watch him or her grow up, find a mate here, be at their mating ceremony, watch them have a cub of their own.” Jimin felt his heart flutter in his chest, as always when he was talking about their future family. It was everything he ever wanted, starting a family with Namjoon and raise a young wolf who would carry on their legacy of love and emotional connection.

“Keep a close eye on Jungkook, please. He needs you as one of his to understand. I don’t want him to hurt,” Namjoon sighed and caressed over Jimin’s soft cheeks, “You know Taehyung will only tell him the wrong things. The things that only make him more nervous. I wish we had more time with him.”

“I don’t,” Jimin’s voice was soft and sad, “I like him too much already. It will hurt to lose him now I don’t want to imagine how it would be to see him go if we’ve had more time with him, got to know him better, let him sleep in our den when he’s cold. He’s so starved for affection, for a sense of belonging that it would be easy to give into his need and let him into your heart in return. It might be selfish but I’m... I’m glad that I don’t have to see him suffer for longer.” Jimin hid his face in Namjoons neck, trying to hide from reality and everything it entailed. As someone who had once been in a similar position it was easy to feel with Jungkook. Still he didn’t want to cry in front of the other packs. They were supposed to appear fierce and ruthless. Crying for their youngest member wouldn’t help that.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Namjoon nodded and let himself fall right next to Jimin, pulling his mate in, “I just want him to be happy.”

In the other room, Jungkook was tossing and turning. Whatever he did, Jungkook just couldn’t sleep at night and when he was awake, he felt restless and helpless. Jin was still talking about his mate off as it was more for him, than an event where Jungkook was supposed to meet the love of his life. The next day went by with more preparations and Jungkook was despising it. While Jin was telling him all about the rules and how the day would go down, Jungkook was planning. An emergency plan. Or an escape. He wasn’t so sure, yet. But what he knew was, that he couldn’t live like this. Not with a stranger. Not without knowing them and letting someone fight – possibly till death – for him. For a strange small cub, that Jungkook thought he was. Not someone special.

The following day, the first pack arrived and Jungkook wasn’t seen at all. The pack thought it was Jin’s way of keeping the cub a little more of a secret. Everyone had heard about him being special. But it wasn’t Jin’s idea but simply Jungkook who couldn’t stand the noises, the loud howling and many people around them. He was used to a small, rather calm pack not this chaos. This night, after Jimin’s visit to check up on him, where he told him to start sorting out his stuff, he sneaked out of the window. Quiet. Calm. Without anyone noticing. And only when he finally was deep inside of the forest, Jungkook turned into a wolf, running fast.

The tears were blocking his view. The air burning in his lungs, as he tried to orientate himself in the dark forest. He needed to get to Yoongi. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t breathe, he….

Jungkook stumbled over a branch and tumbled over, letting out a choked off howl and a whimper.

Yoongi’s head whipped around immediately. The howl had tugged at his chest, pulled at his heartstrings as if someone was physically pulling on him. He let the wild carrots fall that he had found and turned into his wolf form while running into the direction of the miserable sound. It hadn’t been that loud, almost as if whoever was howling was choking on something and it made him feel like he was running out of time he needed to get there, needed to find Jungkook…

He wasn’t sure how he knew that it must be Kook who had been howling as he hadn’t really heard him howling before but he just knew. So instead of stopping at the border he jumped straight over it, only running faster until he came to an abrupt halt when he saw a miserable heap of fur on the floor. He changed back in case he had to treat any wounds again and needed something more delicate than paws and gently buried his fingers in Jungkook’s thick, sweaty fur.

“Are you alright?”

The wolf shook his head, leaning into Yoongi’s touch. “Please kill me. Why didn’t you when you first saw me? You should have just torn me apart!” Jungkook was shaking so much, his whole body trembling from the broken sobs. “Please, just do it now. I’ll cross the border again! Just…do whatever. I don’t care!”

It cut right into his heart to hear Jungkook beg for death. He knew how it felt, to be so desperate that you couldn’t stand the thought of what might happen tomorrow. To be so hopeless that you would rather choose the permanent darkness instead of risking to be crushed in fate’s mills. However, he had pushed through and he was far, far away from giving up on life. He wouldn’t let Jungkook do it, either. He kneeled down next to Jungkook and melted against him, skin turned into fur, his face becoming a wet nose and long snout. He barely even made a sound it came so naturally to him by now to change forms.

Wordlessly he started licking Jungkook’s fur, starting with his face where the fur tasted salty from all the tears and then pushing his snout further into his fur. He was grooming him properly, like a mother would with a scared cub that needed comfort and even though it was so intimate it had him shuddering it felt right to do that for Kook.

Jungkook’s sniffles only subsided slowly, letting Yoongi soothe him wordlessly. The moon was rising higher up in the sky, the far away howls and laughter still audible where they were lying on the ground. It was dark and Jungkook was scared that one could find them. He let his head hang low, moving his paws one by one to see if he was alright. “We need to get out of our property,” Jungkook mumbled, “There are packs here. Some…some are still on the way. They might pass. Didn’t you hear them? I want to go home to you.”

Of course, he had - and not only heard but smelled. It made the wolf in him want to pace and growl and retreat to a safe space so Jungkook’s plea was what he wanted to do anyway, so he agreed. “Yeah, let’s go home.” He gently nudged Jungkook’s side until the younger was back on his paws even if his stance was wobbly from grief and sorrow. “You can stay at mine for as long as you can before they will start looking for you.”

Jungkook hummed in response, following the bigger wolf quietly until they reached his cottage and could turn back into their human form. The young wolf was quiet, a bit too quiet and it worried Yoongi. His posture was stiff, as he had flinched with every branch breaking underneath their paws. And only when he was sitting on Yoongi’s couch, did Jungkook loosen up a little. He let Yoongi take care of him, bring him some tea, a blanket to wrap himself in.

“I will run away,” Jungkook spoke out of a sudden with confidence. He was shocked himself, surprised at his own bold decision. He had thought about, had made a few plans and had ideas on how he could escape the ‘mate off’ but not once had he said it out loud.

Yoongi swallowed hard. He knew that this couldn’t be the reason. Jungkook would be lost on his own. But he had already told him how risky it was to be on his own and it apparently didn’t scare Jungkook off so instead of telling him no he just sat down beside him, leaning against him so that Kook felt that he wasn’t alone. “Where would you run to?” His voice was soft, quiet as if he feared he’d scare Jungkook off if he spoke too loudly or talked to him too directly.

“Anywhere but with them,” Jungkook said and laced his fingers together nervously only to let go again – doing it a few more times. “They are so loud. I don’t like them. I hear them talk…I don’t want this. I… I want to choose who I want to be with.” Jungkook’s voice was growing louder, “Why can’t anyone see that? I was better on my own before! I can be alone! Like you! I could live like you…or with you…you could show me everything.”

“You don’t think they would hunt you? They’ve been promised a fight and a prize, and you’d take both from them if you run. Do you think you’ve got a chance not only against your own pack but against the best fighters from at least two more packs? Would you want me to try and protect us both until they corner us somewhere and then kill me before dragging you back to here? Or how do you expect things will go?” He still kept his tone of voice gentle while confronting Jungkook with the harsh truth.

“You don’t believe in me either.” Jungkook looked at Yoongi with tears in his eyes, “You don’t want me either, I get it. I get it all. No one wants me. The real me. Just the prize.” The younger one buried his face in his hands crying and sobbing desperately. “Why can’t it be my choice? I want to decide who I want to kiss, who I want to care for?”

“I do. Jungkook, I do believe in you! I…,” He kept himself from speaking further. It would be cruel to tell the younger how much he liked him just to send him back to his pack, knowing that they would never see each other again. Gazing back at Yoongi, Jungkook’s eyes flickered back and forth, his heart aching painfully when it hit him like a million bricks.

“Y-you, I want you,” Jungkook whispered.

“Jungkook…Kookie…,” He tried to get through to him, holding the younger who was sobbing his heart out and breaking Yoongi’s in the process. Until he heard him whisper a confession. His heart stopped and Yoongi felt the breath rushing from his lungs in a surprised exhale.

“What?”

When Jungkook didn’t take it back or explained himself he hugged the younger properly, trying to hold them both together while he knew all too well that the other would be slipping through his fingers soon. “Oh sweety… my lovely little wolf… You don’t even know how much I would love for you to stay here. To be with you and spend my time hunting with you in the woods, play fighting, waking up to you after a lazy night in bed...,” He brushed Jungkook’s hair back behind his ears.

“But I won’t be responsible for your death.” He turned the youngers head towards him so that Jungkook had to look in his eyes, “Look at me. Please, I mean it when I say that I would do everything if I saw a chance to be with you. But if we run we won’t come far. There is... really no other choice. You are too important to Jin. I don’t know if you have noticed but he has no females in his pack. If he wants to get cubs he needs one. So, he hopes that if he invites the other packs to your mate off he will be invited to the next. And that one of yours, or himself will mate with a female. And makes sure the pack won’t die out. You are his ticket for his pack’s future. He won’t let you go. Tomorrow you will see your future mate and maybe… maybe you’ll like him? He could be... everything you wish for. He will give you everything I can’t. A family, a pack. Safety and food no matter the season. You’ll… you’ll be happy.” He hugged Jungkook again, hiding his face in the embrace to keep Jungkook from seeing his tears. “Please be happy. For me. Don’t run. Don't let yourself be killed. Please.”

“Stop lying! Stop saying it when you don’t mean it. I know you don’t!” Jungkook said, feeling absolutely helpless, his voice sounding quiet and defenseless even though he should be angry, “I know you don’t feel the same way for me. It’s okay. I get it.” Jungkook sighed deeply. His heart was beating fast, his body feeling too exhausted.

“You want to keep your peace with Jin, too. I get it. I do. I really do. Don’t play pretend with me, please. Thank you, though,” Jungkook pulled away and got up from the couch, his legs almost giving up on him, “For making me feel…a little less alone when I needed it. I wanted to come but Jin kept me busy. I missed you. I’m sorry.” The young wolf was talking in in-coherent sentences, not sure if anything was making sense because his mind was  full of chaos. “My future mate,” Jungkook smiled at Yoongi, “They talk about how it’s going to be the leader of the ‘blue moon’? Do you know him? I don’t want him. But you don’t care. Neither does anyone else.” Jungkook smiled again, “I’m sorry, Yoongi. I can’t. Don’t make me do this, please.”

Yoongi was about to get up and pull Jungkook in again, kiss him until they were both out of breath and hold him until the splinters of their hearts would mend together. But if he did - then he would only have to break Jungkook’s heart again later. If Jungkook didn’t believe him - wasn’t it better to let him be? To let him leave with a broken heart but with the knowledge that Kook would be safe? Giving him hope might be enough to push him to run away after all. And he hadn’t exaggerated when he had said that Jungkook was Jin’s ticket for the future. If Jin realized that he couldn’t use Jungkook for that and if Jungkook made him lose his face in front of all these other wolves Jin would have no choice but to do something drastic to keep his dignity. Like hunt Jungkook down - and kill him. So, it would be better if Jungkook was heartbroken but alive than tell him the truth and risk his death tomorrow. Like this maybe he could get his happiness after all. Even if Yoongi didn’t.

So, he swallowed it down; his words about the blue moon wolves being reckless and ruthless hunters, bordering on insane if you believed the rumors. But rumors could be just that; scary stories with no truth at all. So instead of telling Jungkook the truth again he kept quiet until he felt like he’d have his emotions long enough in check to tell him goodbye. “I... I hope you will be able to find what you are looking for tomorrow. I wish you that you’ll get someone you can love and that whoever wins you, be it from the ‘blue moon’ pack or someone else, will love you back the way you deserve. Think about what you will gain, not about what you’ll lose.” He could feel the tears clouding his view again so before they could spill over he hastily added, “Goodbye Jungkook.”

Jungkook chuckled at that humorlessly. “I don’t care what’s right for everyone else. Sooner or later I will run. Tomorrow. Or in a week. Or in a month.” Jungkook’s stern gaze pierced right through Yoongi, “And no, I don’t care if they will hunt me and kill me. I risk it. I would die there one way or another.” From a broken heart or at their hand, Jungkook was sure of it – and he didn’t care. He let his hand wander slowly over the soft skin on his neck, closing his eyes. The hurt too big for him to handle when he heard Yoongi’s goodbye. “I thought you out of everyone would understand. You said you believed in different rules…and still here you are selling me out to them just like everyone else. You’re not better than them.”

Jungkook let the tears fall freely.

It was hard to watch Jungkook’s bitterness, the hurt that was behind his eyes. In a way Jungkook still hoped that Yoongi would keep him here. He could see it in the way the younger was still here, still giving him a chance although Yoongi had hurt him over and over tonight, refusing him a way out. He kept quiet, just looking at Kook, trying to ingrain each and every detail of the younger’s face into his memory; his dark, wide eyes, the cute nose, even his hurtful expression. He wanted to remember all of this. It would be everything that he had left of Kook after tomorrow.

Jungkook had hoped there would be still something, anything that Yoongi would say but the other was quiet. There was nothing. Just quiet. Jungkook shook his head, biting his lip anxiously and before he could say his own goodbye, the younger turned around. He was fast as he stumbled out of the door, turning in midst jump to run off. A painful howl escaped him once more.

And then it was quiet again.  

A/N: Here we go again! Don’t forget to comment down below and leave your thoughts on the chapter. Will Jungkook run away? Will Yoongi hold him back? Or will the leader of the ‘blue moon’ catch him and claim him as his ;)

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Molly Hooper Appreciation Week Spring 2019 Round!

(I know I usually have a Molly graphic but I’m borrowing this laptop and Phtotshop is being a pain so improvisation with a stock photo I had.)

We’re are definitely doing a round this year, but for the first time, there is only one themed day! My own personal New Year’s resolution this year is to clean out my Tumblr inboxes of as many fic prompts as I can, and I thought that this might be a good thing to extend to others as well. Hence our 2019 Free For All Round! The one and only theme day we will have will be the usual Valentine’s Day/Galentine’s Day/Singles Awareness Day prompt, but this year, it will be optional, as are the prompts below. It will run from February 10th, 2019 to February 16th, 2019.

As I said, this is a Free For All round, which means the entire week you can post whatever Molly-centric fan creations you want. However, as some people like prompts, these are character-centric prompts of people you can include in the fics, as well as our regular February prompt:

Day 1 - The Holmes Family (anything involving Sherlock, Mycroft, Eurus or their parents) 

Day 2 - The Watsons (anything involving John, Mary, Rosie or Harry)

Day 3 - The Yarders (anything involving Lestrade, Sally, Dimmock, Stella or  Anderson)

Day 4 - The Baddies (anything involving Moriarty, Moran, Magnussen, Culverton or any one shot villains)

Day 5 - Valentine’s Day/Galentine’s Day/Singles Awareness Day (any fic involving these holidays celebrated in February)

Day 6 - The Rest (anything involving previously unmentioned characters like Irene, Mrs. Hudson, Meena, Archie, Tom, Janine, Anthea, Kate, etc. as well as crossover characters)

Day 7 - Free For All (anything that didn’t fit into a themed day that focuses on Molly)

RULES:

- Any kind of fanwork you can think of is acceptable for this week: fanfic, fanart, fanvids, manipulations, gifsets (please make sure they are your gifs, though, and you’re not taking them from others without permission), meta, headcanons…anything you can think of that would celebrate Molly Hooper that would fit in with a theme (or just show love for her in general on Day 7) will be accepted with much pleasure. - Be kind and respectful to everyone participating. We don’t want any wank because this is a week for sharing our love for a character who loves pretty much everyone we’ve seen her meet. - If there’s something submitted that you like, please like it (or even better, reblog it so others can see it too)! If there’s a link to it on another website, go to that website and leave them love there as well. - Any and all romantic ships are allowed. Het, femslash, poly…you ship it, we want to see it! We turn no one away. All ships are valid ships. Likewise, all takes on Molly’s sexuality and gender are valid for this week as well. Not everyone shares the same headcanons but we should all be respectful of others. - If you post something for the day, please make sure one of your first five tags is molly appreciation week. We will not be using secondary tags this round as the daily prompts are optional this round. - NEW THIS ROUND! We ran into a problem at Sherlolly Secret Santa last round where I could only view about half the tagged posts where it’s one of the first five tags. If you want your work to be reblogged on @mollyappreciationweek you must @ the blog somewhere in your post. I get alerts on the activity when the blog is mentioned and then I will know to go and save your post to the drafts to reblog when the round is over. I will still check the tag but there is no guarantee I will see your post unless you @ @mollyappreciationweek as well.

AO3 COLLECTION

There will be a collection, as per usual, which will be opened as soon as I make it for people to post their works. It will remain open for perpetuity as you are always allowed to answer these prompts even after the posting dates are officially over. When it is created you will be able to find it on the parent collection (so this way the link is sort of up now and not lost in reblogs).

[uraichievents]

So here we are! UraIchi Week 2018 will take place:

Monday, May 28, 2018 - Sunday, June 3, 2018.

What is UraIchi Week?

Basically, it’s a week-long event to promote the Urahara Kisuke x Kurosaki Ichigo ship. There’s no sign-up, it’s just for fun, and everybody’s welcome to participate. Hopefully by the end of the week, there’ll be plenty more works for UraIchi shippers to enjoy. What I want for this event is just for UraIchi shippers to enjoy new material, maybe chat a bit, and hopefully add some life to a somewhat dead rarepair that I happen to adore.

What kind of stuff would be accepted for this event?

Fics, fanart, graphics, moodboards, gifsets, fanmixes, and playlists are all welcome. Headcanons and meta too. So long as it’s focused on UraIchi, pretty much anything goes. The pair itself can be written romantically or platonically, pre-relationship or established, basically anything you want so long as it involves these two idiots.

Posting:

For those of you with Tumblr, you can tag your stuff with #UraIchi Week or #UraIchi Week 2018 in the first five tags of your post. I’ll be tracking those two tags so I’ll see it and reblog it to this blog. (If it’s been a couple days since you posted and I still haven’t reblogged it, something probably went wrong, Tumblr’s not always reliable, so just shoot me an ask about it and I’ll reblog it.)

For those of you with AO3, I will create a collection a day or two before the event starts, and you’ll be able to add your work to the collection when you post. (I’ll toss up a notice for everyone once the collection is up.)

Discord:

If you want to chat about headcanons or meta or just random stuff, join Discord! There’s already a a few people lurking so you don’t really even have to wait for the event.

Submissions:

If you’re nervous about posting something for UraIchi but still want to get your work out there, I will open submissions on Tumblr before the event, and you can send it in for me to submit anonymously.

And finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. After looking over all the votes, I’ve compiled two or three themes for each day of the week. It’s your choice whether or not you want to make a fanwork that includes all the themes of that day, or a fanwork for each theme, or a fanwork for just one. You can make something for each day of the week or just one or two. Likewise, you are fully welcome to create fanworks based on any genre or AU you can think of. The official themes are only suggestions. WIPs are perfectly okay too.

Themes

May 28: Day 1 - Time Travel | Dimension Travel | Fix-It

Probably to no one’s surprise, Time Travel was the most popular choice of all the themes. I’ve combined it with Dimension Travel and Fix-It, but of course, you don’t have to include all three in the same fanwork. Prompts with Ichigo travelling back in time, or Urahara during his assassin tenure travelling forward to Ichigo’s present day, or both of them dimension-hopping to a world where the Gotei 13 is in the middle of a civil war, all fit into these categories.

May 29: Day 2 - Soulmates AU | Daemons AU | Wings AU

Also probably to no one’s surprise, Soulmates came in second. I’ve thrown Daemons AU and Wings AU onto this day too since they’re similar enough to combine if you wish (or not if you don’t). Here you could find soulmates with matching soulmarks, soulmates connected by a red string of fate, or soulmates who can only see each other’s wings. Or maybe you want to explore an inverted AU where Urahara and Ichigo are not each other’s soulmates but their daemons spend an inordinate amount of time together anyway and refuse to be separated. Anything related to any of these three AUs goes!

(I’ve also included these two links to some soulmates AUs you can use: here and here.)

May 30: Day 3 - SOMETHING!Ichigo and/or SOMETHING!Urahara | Creatures & Monsters/Supernatural Elements AU

Feel free to go wild with this one. Soul King!Ichigo? Let’s see what he does with the world. Arrancar!Urahara? He’d never work for Aizen so maybe when Ichigo storms Hueco Mundo, he ends up saving a half-feral monster from the dungeons, and God help any Shinigami who suggests putting him down like some kind of rabid dog. Or maybe you’d prefer a whole universe of supernatural creatures. Vampire!Urahara and werewolf!Ichigo? Angel!Ichigo and demon!Urahara? World’s biggest cliches right there but they’re cliches for a reason.

May 31: Day 4 - Mutual (or Not) Pining | Alternate First Meeting and/or Getting Together | Outsider POV

Day 4 is more slice of life than the rest. Meet-cutes or love at first sight, Urahara pining away after an oblivious Ichigo, or Ichigo determinedly courting a confused Urahara. Or maybe you want a glimpse of these two idiots from another person’s perspective. Maybe Zangetsu and Benihime get together to try and make their wielders fall in love. Maybe Ichigo and Urahara have been together for a while and eventually their friends begin wondering when those two became close enough to share whole conversations with a glance. Or maybe the Soutaichou has had it up to here with Urahara making things explode because he’s too busy moping over what he thinks is unrequited love to get his shit together enough to actually do his work, so he sets his entire military organization with the task of getting two of the most stubborn morons to have ever lived together. They’re all at least several hundred years old. It can’t be that hard, right?

June 1: Day 5 - Crossovers | Fusions

I personally wasn’t too surprised that a good chunk of votes went to Crossovers and Fusions. Fancy a Hunger Games AU fusion with the Gotei 13 making up the Capitol, Urahara as a mentor or a stylist, and Ichigo as a volunteer tribute? Or maybe a Pacific Rim AU fusion with Ichigo and co. signing up to fight Kaiju. How about a crossover with Naruto where Ichigo and Urahara find themselves in the Naruto world and they end up rebuilding Uzushio? Or maybe you prefer a crossover with Harry Potter where Urahara is hired as the new History professor and Ichigo the new Defence professor, and holy hell - as they discover - there’s a lot of shady things going on in the Wizarding world.

June 2: Day 6 - Canon Divergence | For Want of a Nail AU | Ichigo vs. Gotei 13 | Apocalypse AU

Post-Winter War, Ichigo never regaining his powers and leaving town as soon as he graduates? Pre-Turn Back the Pendulum Arc, Urahara starts receiving anonymous letters about what Aizen is up to and manages to prevent Shinji and the others from becoming Visored? Aizen wins and ends up bringing about the apocalypse? The Shinigami ‘cleaning up’ and ordering the execution of all non-Shinigami after Aizen is defeated? Give me all the what-if scenarios here.

June 3: Day 7 - Colours | Single-Word Prompts

To be honest, neither of these two themes had a particularly large amount of votes but I wanted to reserve one day for prompts geared more towards artists and those who maybe write better with specific word prompts than general AUs. So, Colours are pretty self-explanatory - pick a colour and make a moodboard or put together a gifset of UraIchi moments. Of course, writers can also work around this - a dozen red roses delivered to Ichigo’s doorstep one day, or five times Ichigo gave Urahara a different green hat and the first time Kisuke stops wearing one around him.

As for single-word prompts, there were people who wanted to come up with their own words, but also people who asked for me to come up with a list for them, so I’ve decided to include a google doc with a list of words here. You can click through or not, it’s up to you.

And that’s it! I hope everybody will have fun with this! I really want this to be a success so get those creative minds in gear and start preparing for the event. Two months actually isn’t that long. I’m looking forward to seeing what everyone will come up with when the time comes! And feel free to send me an ask if you’re confused about anything.

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨

[charityhawktion]

rudearrow - Hawktion Contributor Page

See rudearrow’s works here!

To contact the seller before bidding, please contact by email address at rudearrow@gmail.com

If you have a very specific prompt and are not flexible, its best to contact the seller before bidding, even if it fits within their listed parameters. If you are asking for a specific kink, always ask first.

Charities this auction will benefit: Bidder's choice of any of the listed groups

See full list.

rudearrow’s Auction #1

Type of fanwork: "fanart" (drawing/painting/etc), gifset, banner, book cover, icon(s), mood board, fanmixes with accompanying covers and tracklists Pairings: any romantic pairing/qpp/friendship with Clint Rating(s): G, Teen, Mature Length/size: I don't have the means currently to digitally colour more than basic flat tones (basic tones example can be seen with the Fantasy Bingo card) , so if seeking fanart bear that in mind. Especially interested in: WinterHawk is my number one Clint ship with WinterIronHawk coming second. Will not: no non-con, explicit art, torture, or underage Notes: Since it's for charity, I'm not keen to set limits-- but please be reasonable. For example, I will happily design coordinating graphics, ie: icon, header, and a promotional graphic, for your discord server... but please don't request 50 icons or the like.

Auctions run from 13th June (12:00 noon BST) to 20th June (10:00 PM BST). Bids before or after this period are invalid and will not be counted. If you would like to bid on this auction:

Step 1: Check the bidding spreadsheet to find out what the current high bid is. (Note: It may take up to five minutes for a bid to appear.)

Step 2: Fill out the sellers bidding form with a bid that is higher than the current high bid. If you want to make it harder for someone to outbid you, bid higher! You will NOT be notified if someone outbids you, so please bookmark this page and check frequently. You will only be notified if you are the high bidder after the auctions end.

rudearrow’s Auction #2

Type of fanwork: "fanart" (drawing/painting/etc), gifset, banner, book cover, icon(s), mood board, fanmixes with accompanying covers and tracklists Pairings: any romantic pairing/qpp/friendship with Clint Rating(s): G, Teen, Mature Length/size: I don't have the means currently to digitally colour more than basic flat tones (basic tones example can be seen with the Fantasy Bingo card) , so if seeking fanart bear that in mind. Especially interested in: WinterHawk is my number one Clint ship with WinterIronHawk coming second. Will not: no non-con, explicit art, torture, or underage Notes: Since it's for charity, I'm not keen to set limits-- but please be reasonable. For example, I will happily design coordinating graphics, ie: icon, header, and a promotional graphic, for your discord server... but please don't request 50 icons or the like.

Auctions run from 13th June (12:00 noon BST) to 20th June (10:00 PM BST). Bids before or after this period are invalid and will not be counted. If you would like to bid on this auction:

Step 1: Check the bidding spreadsheet to find out what the current high bid is. (Note: It may take up to five minutes for a bid to appear.)

Step 2: Fill out the sellers bidding form with a bid that is higher than the current high bid. If you want to make it harder for someone to outbid you, bid higher! You will NOT be notified if someone outbids you, so please bookmark this page and check frequently. You will only be notified if you are the high bidder after the auctions end.

rudearrow’s Auction #3

Type of fanwork: fic Pairings: I will pair Clint with anyone but Natasha-- unless it's QPP. Rating(s): G, Teen, Mature, Explicit Length/size: 5-10k words, It depends on how much the bidder contributes - see Notes Especially interested in: Found family, Clint Needs a Hug, 616 Clint and Fraction!Clint are my jam, Clint Tries Real Hard Bless Him, d/s dynamics Will not: degradation kink, hard painplay, bloodplay, littles, petplay... basically the harder side of kink. but definitely message me to negotiate and discuss HCs! Once you email, I can give you my discord handle if that works better. Notes: Over 10k, I'd request a minimum bid of $10. I am a slow slow writer for myself, but I produce fairly quickly for deadlines. I deleted all my old fic with my old AO3 account, so I have no works currently posted publically. However, if you'd like to see more than just excerpts of my current projects, please feel free to email me! Atm, my longest project is a (projected 35k) WinterHawk urban fantasy AU (the Honey and Clover excerpt in the Writing Sample link) with 10k written over about two weeks. I've just finished my masters and will be isolating at home for the foreseeable future, so I have plenty of time to focus on your project should you bid. :)

Auctions run from 13th June (12:00 noon BST) to 20th June (10:00 PM BST). Bids before or after this period are invalid and will not be counted. If you would like to bid on this auction:

Step 1: Check the bidding spreadsheet to find out what the current high bid is. (Note: It may take up to five minutes for a bid to appear.)

Step 2: Fill out the sellers bidding form with a bid that is higher than the current high bid. If you want to make it harder for someone to outbid you, bid higher! You will NOT be notified if someone outbids you, so please bookmark this page and check frequently. You will only be notified if you are the high bidder after the auctions end.

Thanks for participating in the Hawktion 2020!

[thestuckylibrary-bigbang]

Canon ‘Verse

This post contains sbb2017 works that fall into the category of canon compliant. They are sorted chronologically by when the story takes place.

The categories are Pre TFA, TFA Era, Post TWS and CACW/Post-CACW. Take your time and look through what authors and artists have been working on since June!

AU Part One | AU Part Two | AU Part Three | Masterpost

Pre TFA

The Olive Groves by AgentCoop

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 25k

Archive Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence

Tags: 1940s, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Feels, World War II, Musician Bucky Barnes, Artist Steve Rogers, Living TogetherMutual Pining, Off-Screen Major Character Death, Angst, Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts

Summary

In the summer of 1942, war is on everyone's minds. Jobs are scarce, and boys are shipping out daily, but Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have each other.

Steve wants to fight, and Bucky doesn't. In the end, it won't much matter.

Told in four parts, this story encompasses a year in Steve and Bucky's life prior to Bucky's draft notice, his time on the Italian front, his life for the next five years as he tries to pick up the broken pieces of his shattered mental state and put everything back together,and his inevitable return to Brooklyn for Steve.

TFA era

a perfect soldier by SouthSideStory

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Violence

Words: 20,243

Relationship: Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes

Tags: canon-compliant, WWII fic, suicidal ideations, implied/referenced suicide, period-typical homophobia, antisemitism, descriptions of past torture, PTSD, unhealthy relationships, minor Bucky/OFC

Summary: Steve looks like a stranger these days, but at least the way he smiles at Bucky is the same: soft, fond, and a little bit smitten. It used to bother him, that the friend he considered a brother didn’t see him the same way. He’s never thought any less of Steve for it, but he also wasn’t quite comfortable with being the object of his affection. Now Bucky couldn’t care less how Steve loves him, as long as it means that Steve loves him most.

fanvid by shirasade | youtube | tumblr

gifset by shirasade​ | tumblr

Meet Me On The Darkest Night by Cryofreeze

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 70k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers( But she really just flirts with him)

Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Peggy Carter, Howling Commandos, Colonel Phillips, Arnim Zola, Howard Stark

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, World War II, Captain America: The First Avenger, Canon Compliant, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve’s identity crisis, Rescue Mission

Summary: 

“I know you think it wasn’t my fault, Buck…”

“You had to make a decision, there was no right or wrong choice.”

Steve blinked miserably at the stone step beneath his knees, grinding grit into his so-called uniform. “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a Commanding Officer.” He forced back a lump in his throat threatening to constrict his voice. “Or Captain America…”

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Howling Commandos’ last mission goes awry, Steve questions his morals and self worth as a soldier… and as Captain America. He struggles to believe in himself and the man he thought he was, but being thrust back out on another dangerous mission gives him little time to choose between his own self-doubts or giving his all to save 1,000 prisoners of war from Hydra’s clutches.

With the aid of Peggy Carter and the unwavering support of Bucky Barnes, they set out on a rescue mission inside the confines of a medieval fortress in WWII Europe. However, Steve isn’t the only one to find the ghosts of the place crawl under his skin…

There’s angst, action and an emotionally driven core to the tale of how Steve Rogers is forced to come to terms with what it really means to be Captain America.

Art by @samthebirdbae (10 black and white drawings)

Art by FieryEclipse (AO3) is embedded in Chapter One of the fic

The End of a Century by whatthefoucault (tumblr)

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: None

Words: 20,000

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Mr. Proctor/Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Rebecca Barnes Proctor/Original Female Character, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Howard Stark & Rebecca Barnes Proctor, James “Bucky” Barnes & Rebecca Barnes Proctor & Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson

Tags: Slice of Life, Period Typical Attitudes, Recovery, Artificial Intelligence, Jewish Bucky Barnes, New York City, Canon-Typical Violence, Hospitals, Sexual Content, Pregnancy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)

Summary: This is the story of a sister and her brother.As the shadow of the war fades and gives way to new conflicts, Becca Barnes battles the constraints of the twentieth century: an education, a marriage, a career, with the ghosts of her youth never far from her memory.  As the twenty-first century barrels on through its awkward teenage phase, Bucky Barnes builds a new life, with new friends, and a burgeoning relationship with his lifelong companion Steve, the erstwhile Captain America, as they struggle to find their place in the world.

The last time Becca saw her brother was on the eve of war; neither of them expected, some seventy-something years, a hip replacement, and one new arm later, to be reunited.This is a story about family.

Art by @samthebirdbae

Art by @blue-pointer

The Rabbit in the Hat by poppyfields13

Story by @poppyfields13fic​(AO3) Art by @kikisloveschocolate​ (AO3) Art by @ewburnthatshit​ (AO3)

Words: 37586 Rating: Explicit Tags: Alternate Universe–1940s, WWII, Bucky Barnes-centric, veteran Bucky Barnes, bisexual Bucky Barnes, skinny Steve Rogers, Gay bar, roommates, friends to lovers, friends with benefits, pining Warnings: Graphic violence, battle scene, PTSD, disability, period typical ableism, ableist slurs, period typical homophobia, Bucky/OCs, emetophobia trigger, smoking Summary: What if Bucky doesn’t meet Steve until the night before he leaves for the war? Bucky didn’t think he would ever see Steve again, after their one night together. But when he returns from the war, injured and struggling to readjust, he advertises for a roommate, and is surprised when Steve is the one to answer. Bucky realises he wants more than just friendship from Steve, but he doesn’t know if he’s ready, or if Steve even feels the same way about him.

Post TWS

Cause Two Outta Three Ain't Bad (But Three Outta Three Is Better) by AdelenMontgomery

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 25k

Archive Warnings: None

Tags: Non-Graphic Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence

SummaryBucky Barnes could tell you the exact moment he knew what love felt like. Not love in the family sense, or the friend sense, or anything like that, but in the love of his life or we’re soulmates kinda way. Not that he knew it at the time, of course, because how could he have possibly known? He knew it was love, sure, but how could he have known that it was the kind that was life-altering? But, as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

Ceremony of Innocence by @velvetjinx

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 22.8k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: alternate universe: canon divergence, no cryo for Bucky, Captain America: Civil War spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Shameless smut, emetophobia, canon typical/compliant violence, choking, Bucky Barnes-centric, Bucky Barnes recovering

Summary: After saving Steve Rogers from the river in the wake of the failed Project Insight, Bucky is on a mission to find himself. As the memories come back thick and fast, he has to figure out exactly who he is now. But when someone blows up the building where the Sokovian Accords are to be signed and the Winter Soldier is blamed, he finds his new life at risk and realises that, for him, the fight may never stop.

Vid by @dracusfyre

Meridian

by

tippet 

Artwork

by

theladymania

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 31,700

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson, post-CA:TWS, standard winter soldier warnings, recovery, ft. a literal long and winding road

Summary: The finding goes both ways. (Steve goes missing; the soldier goes after him.)

Stop and Say You Love Me by eyesofshinigami 

Rating: Explicit

Words: 20k

Tags:Fluff, Smut, Light Angst, Mentions of memory loss, lots of book talk, Friends to LoversTen points to anyone who gets the book references 

Summary: Bucky doesn't ever remember he and Steve's shared past. Steve doesn't fault him or blame him, it just is what it is. They're dealing with it together, even though their friends don't always seem to understand. None of that stops them from figuring out how they used to fit together. It's not the same, but maybe it's something even better than before.

The Grand Plan by velleities

Rating: M

Words: 25k

Archive Warnings: Chose Not To Use

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Some angst, Dealing with PTSD, Some Alcohol Use, Bucky Discovers This Brave New World, Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Pre-TFA Relationship

SummaryThe Soldier doesn’t mean to be menacing, even if it's become the impression he naturally gives off. He wants to be a person, first and foremost, but he wants to be the right kind of person too, and that leads him to one irrefutable conclusion: he owes an apology to Captain America– an apology that he has to deliver, if the Soldier wants to be who he aspires. It’s just proving out to be a little harder than he thought...

CACW and post CACW

A Song for Eurydice by Optimustaud @optimustaud

Rating: M

Archive Warnings:  Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 19999

Relationships:  Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: cursing, torture, medical experimentation, suicidal ideation, mental illness, body horror, cannon divergence, motown and soul

Summary:  Ten years after the events of The Winter Soldier Steve tracks Bucky to an abandoned Hydra base in Siberia.  

Read the fic on AO3

Art by @riakomai / @artbyria

in these times of dying By: Marley Mortis

Rating:  M

Warnings: Graphic Violence

Tags:  Depressed Steve, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, Codependency, Binge Eating, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with A Happy Ending, Asexual Steve Rogers

Relationships:  Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Summary:  Steve’s fine. Bucky would rather be in cryostasis than anywhere near Steve Rogers, but Steve’s doing a-okay. Who cares if he’s angry all the time? He’s just peachy. Those weird fevers he’s been getting? Nothing to worry about, because Steve’s finer than frog hair. All he’s gotta do is destroy the last remnants of Hydra, figure out a way to disable Bucky’s code words, grieve Peggy’s death, and figure out what in the Hell to do with himself now that he’s not Captain America and Tony wants his head on a silver platter. Still fine, though.

A canon compliant character study into Steve Rogers’ mental state following the events of CA:Civil War.

Art By: Turn_turn_turn

Mirrors in the Smoke by JudeAraya

Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Dissociation, Mental Breakdown, reference to past torture, steve has repressed feelings, Therapy, CBT, EMDR, Psychotherapy, reference to food triggers, Dom/sub Undertones,Happy Ending

Summary

Steve told Sam and Natasha once that even when he had nothing, he’d had Bucky. The truth, he realized, was that without Peggy and Bucky, without the world he knew, Steve couldn’t even be Steve. But he could be Captain America. Steve’s been a stranger in a new world for a long time and Captain America was his best secret keeper.

Having Bucky back should be the thing that puts him back together, right? Finding him, being with him – it’s everything Steve’s pinned his hopes on. It’s a fucker of a truth now, to find this out – that Steve needed Captain America as much as anything else.

Only, Steve gave him up. Steve is no longer Captain America and he is definitely not well.

~*~ My contribution to the 2017 Stucky Big Bang. Spans from 2012 (post Steve coming out of the ice) to past Civil War

Perilous Underside of the World by eyres

Rating: Mature

Words:52k

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Action/Adventure, Competence Kink, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort

SummaryAfter Steve becomes an unwilling subject in Ross's pet weapons project to make a next gen super soldier, Bucky is awakened from cryo to join a daring rescue operation to save Steve from an impenetrable government base on the Antarctica coastline. When things go belly up, Steve and Bucky must strike out on their own across the hostile landscape, with Ross's men close behind.AKA 'The one where Steve throws a snowmobile at a helicopter.'

The Way to a Man’s Heart by TetrodotoxinB

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 54k

Relationships: Sam Wilson / Bucky Barnes / Steve Rogers

Tags: Torture, Disordered eating, PTSD (multiple characters), Medical procedures, Suicidal ideation and behaviors, Steve/Sam/Bucky, hurt/comfort, Canon typical violence, Happy ending, Smut!!!!

Summary: Bucky wakes up from cryo in Wakanda eight months after the Accords and the fracturing of the Avengers. With the collective scientific genius of Stark, Banner, and Pym, Bucky has the priming sequence erased permanently from his mind. No longer the Winter Soldier, and having been cleared of his crimes following a dissolution of the Accords, Bucky returns to the states to try his hand at a normal life, or at least at doing good in the world. That normalcy is shattered when, after a mission gone wrong, some of Bucky’s conditioning reasserts itself and he’s forced to start back at square one. Bucky fights the physical and mental pain of his conditioning to learn to eat again after years of never being allowed solid food by HYDRA. At the same time, Steve is forced to confront his longest held beliefs. Through all of it, Bucky, Sam, and Steve fall together in different ways as they are forced to face their troubles and their pasts.

Art by TheRothwoman and ICouldDoThisAllDay

things of dry hours by jinlinli, 

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 32,154

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Canon Compliant, Angst, Slow Burn, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Mid-Credits Scene, Painting, Art History, Character Study

Summary: Bucky’s clothes rustle when he pulls a pocket knife from his jacket. He eyes the scratchings in the trees before carefully carving his name next to a crude stick figure with a gun. “You remember what it was like,” Bucky says, knife still in hand. “Don’t you?” Steve thinks of the flat surface of an ocean, the dreams of floating. A lukewarm sea lapping against his knees as he drifted alone. Water dripping off his chin. His eyes opened in a strange bed and a strange world. “Just a little, yeah.” Bucky nods. “I don’t feel cold anymore.” “I—me too.”

In the year after they leave the bunker in Siberia, Steve and Bucky find solace in painting, and maybe in the process, relearn how to be around each other again.

Oil paint colors art by Artbyria

Bucky’s self portrait art by artbyria

Two Idiots and a Baseball Game by RealTJHammond 

Rating: Mature

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 20k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Trigger warnings :Light to medium BDSM,Spanking,Anal sex,choking,Homophobes.

Important Tags: post-civil war, bdsm, spanking, anal sex, pet play, homophobia, library, ptsd

Summary: It’s a year after civil war, I’m working a library just to kill time and so that I don’t have to deal with Stark complaining at me. Stark’s pranks get worse, so I stay near Steve, slowly falling in love with him, feeling the assassin part of me slowly disappearing. Steve and I fall more and more in love, soon getting together. I love when Steve gets dominant and soon we find out we want to have a BDSM relationship. I stay at Steve’s feet during movie nights,dinner, wherever and whenever he wants. Art by chalenmimi-frenchtoast  (http://chalenmimi-frenchtoast.tumblr.com)

Unspooling by mage_girl

Rating: T

Archive Warnings:  Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Word Count: 53K

Relationships:  Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes, Thor & Jane, Clint Barton & Laura Barton

Tags: Geeks, Star Wars, Reconnection, Meta

Summary: After the events of Civil War, after Bucky is free of his trigger words courtesy of Wakanda, after the rescue from the Raft, the former Avengers get together for what Steve hopes is the beginning of a reconciliation and the mending of friendships.Bucky has never seen any of the ‘Star Wars’ movies so they decide to watch the movies together.Cue loads of conversation, geeking out, inside jokes, and maybe, just maybe, some resolution.

Art by whatthefoucault

[newl0ndonfire]

in regards to the mcr jacket post, not everyone has the materials or money to make their own jacket. I mean people do make them I've seen it but that's not something a lot of people can do. Calling someone an "uncreative liar that bitches" is pretty rotten.

considering how people on tumblr often call others far worse for far less, thank you for calling me rotten.

to make your own killjoy jacket you can do one of the following examples:

-get a favorite jacket (any material, it literally doesn’t matter what it’s made of) and wear it till it’s hella comfortable but not super worn out (ex: wear 90% of school days and weekends but not while doing extreme sports). tip: washing fabric often makes it softer.

-rip up old graphic tshirts (not old as in 1 year old but like “oh wow i’ve had this for 8 years and it hasn’t fit in at least 5″) and sew/safety pin/paper clip them together. optional: also draw on it with sharpies.

-learn how to sew to later attach stuff on a jacket/tshirt/bag/whatever

-get some paint (non-washable), sharpies (or other permanent markers), and/or vinegar+koolaid (literally any color/flavor) and dye/draw on/paint on a jacket/tshirt/bag/etc (best if you research to see what works best with whatever fabric[s] you're using, research can be done in a library).

making a battlejacket/remaking your clothes (fuck upcycling)/etc. sounds a lot harder than it is. i’m currently in the middle of two (2) jackets and constantly running into “what if i don’t like this in a year” “what if i’m not doing this right” “what if x band is problematic in y way” and major depressive episodes but it’s not as hard as it sounds. there are instructions online if you want to replicate one of the Four’s jackets (either from cosplayers who do this kind of stuff all the time and probably some that a MCR fan made to recreate them at a lower price) and have the resources/time to do so.

yes calling people uncreative liars who just bitch is rude and i apologize.

however, i find that a lot of people (especially those who are into alternative music and/or MCR)

tend to praise someone doing something because of who the person is while loudly complaining when someone who they don’t like or isn’t famous and/or a celebrity does the same thing/a similar thing/as much as they can to the same thing because of who that person is. (ex. an art reposter [as in, they post someone else’s art to their blog or social without credit and/or permission] posts someone’s art/gifset/etc and gets 5k+ notes which are 90% praise while the original poster gets ~500 notes and hate bc they aren’t as popular and people are convinced they copied it from the reposter)

OR they go on and on and on about how cool x thing is (for example, the Four’s jackets in danger days) and how they wish they could have a similar/the same thing while not doing anything to acquire or attempt to replicate the thing. that is their own fault because they’re limiting themselves while not doing anything to get said thing/change something and complaining when they don’t get the thing/the thing is not done.

OR they would like to be a highly creative/artistic person but are in fact entirely lacking in originality and have the personality of a piece of incredibly dry bread, thus rendering them incapable of doing so because they lack the ability(ies) to do so.

the people who act as i described above also lie about doing the things i mention because they don’t want to accept it and frankly i have no sympathy. they’re not creative. they lie to themselves that they are. they bitch about how they can’t do (thing) when in reality no one else is stopping them.

people still sell the jackets on ebay. people make replicas. what i’m finding for the original price of the official killjoys jackets is $89.99-$99.99 USD. someone can likely get the same (or an incredibly similar) jacket for that price or less. the originals were made by an Oscar-winning costume designer, which makes the jackets more expensive than necessary.

also: i acknowledge you did not mention this in your message. the original post says that “there are so many killjoys such as [OP] who dont [sic] have the jackets because they joined the fandom after the split” that’s their own issue. i don’t believe that danger days was the success it was hoped for (i’ve heard that there was supposed to be a third music video [bulletproof heart? my memory is shit] but since dd wasn’t as well-recieved as tbp it was scrapped but i do not have a link on hand to that) so why would warner bros (a shitty company considering how they take advantage of MCR’s legacy for money [literally the black parade/living with ghosts]) choose to rerelease merch for it when tbp is more well known and better liked to the majority of people?

[anghraine]

So, my sister wanted to watch ANH, and I’m a noble and selfless big sister (:P) and agreed. It’s been ... at least a year? 

Impressions this time:

- ANH is really a magnificent film, just in terms of how everything comes together and how completely balanced the different elements are. It is what it is—a fancy Western-meets-Kurosawa fairy-tale space opera—and instead of trying to ~transcend~ its origins, it embraces them and goes for executing them at peak quality. Overwhelmingly it succeeds. I think that’s really its strength among the SW movies: it’s not the most ambitious, it’s not the most creative, it’s not the most inspiring, but it is the most cleanly, evenly executed, the one that succeeds most completely and unambiguously at the kind of thing it is.

- I definitely think the TFA=ANH thing is overblown. They’re very different movies with very different characters. The only exceptions are 1) the cantina and 2) the trench run. Speaking of which, the cantina scene remains spectacular. (And the trench run! My God.)

- Rogue One fits in REALLY WELL, while also feeling like an even more profoundly dissimilar film. But it really felt like it picked up right where RO left off. Like a lot of people, I was cackling at Leia’s sheer gall in her “???? HOW DARE” at Vader. Unfortunately, the near-seamlessness had me completely convinced that RO just happened and so I was like “wow, okay, Vader just took off after Leia and Jyn and Cassian just died WAIT WAIT ABORT MISSION DIDN’T HAPPEN BYYYYE”

- I thought the criticisms of RO!Tarkin were overblown (tbh I tended to think that a lot of them tended to forget how uncanny valley Tarkin is to begin with), and that’s also only more cemented. He seemed absolutely like the same person. I also don’t think I noticed before how ... bored? he seems with a lot of it. Like, Vader thinks the Death Star is shit but is gung-ho about Doing Empire Things and Victory!!! while Tarkin tends to be more “eh.” Gets a kick out of puppy-kicking Tuesday, though.

- I know it’s been litigated to hell and back, but the SE additions are in nearly all cases very jarring. (OTOH, going back and updating the terrible 70s computer graphics would have been a very feasible choice!) Similarly, I know it’s stale and everything, but the suggested backstory does seem very different from what we get in the prequels; I kept finding myself mentally working to make it fit. 

- If it’s possible, I feel even more strongly than before about how wrongwrongwrong the soft, fluffy, sunshiny!Luke* thing is. Despite his streak of fatalism, he’s also almost invariably confident—sometimes to the point of braggadocio, but in most cases in fact correct. His goals are largely heroic, but he is far and away the most purely pragmatic of the main trio. He’s incredibly naive, but also resourceful; almost all the actual ideas for what to do come from him, and in most cases in a single moment. When Han snaps that “he’s the brains,” I don’t think he’s actually being sarcastic (though obviously he’s being annoyed). Luke is the idea guy, Han is the shooting things guy (which both find frustrating on occasion). Luke combines a streak of earnest gentleness with very frequent abrasiveness. He’s very much Leia’s brother.

(...on that level.)

- Han is incredibly brash and reckless! Sometimes hilariously so. I continue to love the scene where he runs from stormtroopers only to run into WAY MORE stormtroopers and just runs away screaming. He’s interesting because he’s not at all a comic relief character, but he does actually have a lot of it. I think it contributes to his lovability.

- Threepio and Artoo’s relationship remains the cutest, omg. And how did I forget Artoo’s built-in fire extinguisher??

- HELLO WALL-E

- LEIA LEIA LEIA LEIA

- There’s a gifset about how Leia is the only person unafraid of Vader, and I actually disagree. She quite plainly is afraid of him, IMO, quite naturally in the torture scene and then when she backs into him to get away from Tarkin. She just doesn’t let it govern her will or conduct even a little bit. <3

- I remain convinced that all probability is that Vader argued against the destruction of Alderaan, though not for any heroic reasons. I also remain creeped-out by Tarkin’s behaviour towards Leia accompanied by his genuine shock that she would lie to him. Vader is just “duh????” 

- I’ve also noticed it before, but it never ceases to amuse me: when Luke and Leia scream at Han about shooting in the compactor, they sound exactly the same. 

- Luke is the one who thinks to shoot out the cameras in the detention center.

- Obi-Wan’s lightsaber is the proper shade of blue, but Luke’s/Anakin’s has been left at greenish for some reason.

- ROBOT IS A CANON WORD

- I also think criticisms of the Obi-Wan/Vader duel are overblown. It’s a very different style, which seems odd, but ... looks like pretty normal fencing to me? A bit slower than Vader vs Luke in ESB, but that’s what you’d expect. I definitely got the feeling that Vader was drawing it out for maximum enjoyment, lol, but could have ended it at any moment.

- I love Threepio, but I find Chewie super irritating, sorry.

- Leia and Luke are so pretty!!!!

- Han’s snark about “female advice” remains as “well, fuck you, Han” as ever. I’m also not a huge fan of him going on about how he doesn’t care about the revolution or about her, considering that he knows perfectly well that she just saw her planet wiped out. How Jyn trying to survive is worse than this is just ?????

- Nevertheless, ANH Han is by and large my favourite Han. He’s genuinely charming, while his pseudo-devil-may-care is just ... aww, here’s your YOU TRIED star. Setting the implied incest aside, the back-and-forth with Luke about Leia is super cute. I also love the “no reward is worth this,” haha, along with “either I’m going to kill her or I’m starting to like her.”

- If I didn’t know better, I would definitely have thought Harrison and Carrie’s affair was during ESB, not ANH. The UST seems much less intense here (definitely present, but in a more lowkey, adorkable sort of way). 

- Luke and Leia both seem to feel this irrational, near-immediate bond. They tend to pair off and Leia flips out when he’s pulled underwater as much as Luke did when he realized she was scheduled for execution. Luke tends to back her when she’s pissed at Han or ignore it altogether. I also think it’s kind of ... sweet isn’t the word, exactly, but when Luke gives Leia the blaster to cover him while he gets his swinging cord out, he doesn’t seem to have the slightest doubt about her capabilities. And she doesn’t seem to doubt that he’ll be able to carry her with one arm across the BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DOOM. 

- That’s also there in the celebration scene; with Han there’s the UST with his wink + her I’M PUTTING ON MY PRINCESS FACE NOW, while with Luke he grins at her and she grins back, like they’re kids together. (Also, I think, a reason the twin retcon—while certainly awkward at points—works more than not. It's much more about this easy natural camaraderie they have than anything else. They’re bros before they were bros!)

- Leia actually isn’t certain if the plans will show a weakness or not, which suggests 1) she wasn’t told Jyn’s full testimony, or 2) she’s not at all sure about it either. 

- People generally seem to treat the Imperial Senate as a legit concern—not just Leia, but many of the Imperial officers, and Vader himself takes care to create a smokescreen to keep them from realizing what happened to Leia. The OT is not much for politics, but I suspect the abrupt dissolution of the Senate might have contributed to the expanded Rebellion of ESB and ROTJ.

- Even here, though, the Rebellion does seem very well-funded, and Han’s reward appears to be no problem at all. Also, everyone rides around on little carts.

- Luke totally knew Obi-Wan already and I am personally very doubtful that it took just a few hours or a day to get to Alderaan. Think: Leia supposedly caves about the Dantooine base right before Alderaan’s destruction (i.e., after Han&Co go into hyperspace). The Empire sends a contingent to Dantooine from Alderaan, who find and search the abandoned base, and send a report back. I definitely don’t think that’s something that in its entirety would be handled in a day. 

(I always get a sense with the OT—and RO—that we’re seeing snapshots of a wider story, with plenty going on in the empty spaces that’s just not critical, or which can be inferred from what we do see. Luke’s bit with the remote is clearly not his only interaction with Obi-Wan on the trip, say; it’s just a representative bit we see that coincides with the destruction of Alderaan. I think it’s part of the reason it’s compelling in a very fannish way, even though I have very very few issues with the series as-is; normally I get really fannish about things that are super compelling but have a lot of issues I feel the need to address. SW, though, manages to provide those spaces where I want to fill in the blanks, but as a form of storytelling rather than faultlines.)

- Aww, it’s for little children! also have you noticed that one of the charred skeletons at the homestead is contorted weirdly

- I love Carrie’s low voice

- the development of Artoo and Threepio’s relationship is not something I’ve really noticed before, but I was genuinely touched this time? They’re friends, clearly, but they start out at this snappish, intolerant place and Threepio gets increasingly more and more concerned and less selfish. He manages to look devastated when Luke shouts that Artoo is down and then when he offers his own gears and circuits for Artoo, it’s just... awwwww. (Also when they ask Luke if he wants a less beat-up droid and he’s NO WE’VE BONDED. Luke <3 <3)

- Alec Guinness, whatever his private feelings, does a really great job with Obi-Wan as this shrewd, tricky mentor with a deep sense of ambivalence. I think it’s part of the reason the retcon works so well; his behaviour seems entirely credible as someone who’s lying. I also think his :| at Han is pretty hilarious? He’s just seriously?? so much of the time.

- The whole deal with the parsecs was obviously meant to be stupid bragging from Han. There’s no need for an explanation; Obi-Wan and Luke’s faces are both like “...sure, bro.” 

- Even the damn summary of the title crawl on the back was like T_T

The Jedi Knights have been exterminated and the Empire rules the galaxy with an iron fist. A small group of Rebels have dared to fight back by stealing the secret plans to the Empire’s mightiest weapon, the Death Star battle station. The Emperor’s most trusted servant, Darth Vader, must find the plans and locate the hidden Rebel base. [etc]

*sob*

But, just incidentally, there is never the slightest indication given that the team of spies didn’t actually make it out of their mission or that there’s any particular tragedy around the first!!!! victory!!!!!!! They’re never explicitly pointed out, but there also isn’t any occasion for doing so; we don’t see anyone outside the purely military arm. No senators beyond Leia (who’s only there to bring the plans, and had originally intended to go to Alderaan anyway), no Mon Mothma, no operatives of any kind beyond soldiers, pilots, and commanders. It looks like they evacuated everyone else, so even if the Scarif mission had gone precisely according to plan and like 75% of them made it out, there’s no reason for them to show up in ANH anyway. But yeah, basically all we know is that the team that recovered the plans was a small and brave one affiliated with the Rebellion.

*feel free not to remind me that the sun is powerful and dangerous. this is a metaphor

[you-did-well-my-love]

Drama Review: Introverted Boss

I don’t think I have ever been so satisfied with the ending of the drama.

Rating: 4.5/5 I was going to rate it a four, but that last episode was absolutely amazing.

OST: Most of the ost is pretty typical but like I have had B1A4 Sandeul’s song on repeat since it ended like shit it’s so good. 

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Business

Synopsis: Eun Hwan-Ki is the CEO of a public relations company, but he is extremely shy. Due to his personality, even his employees do not know him well. Chae Ro-Woon begins work at Eun Hwan-Ki’s company. She is very energetic and receives recognition for her work, but her only interest is in CEO Eun Hwan-Ki. She plans to reveal who Eun Hwan-Ki really is. (source: asianwiki)

Trigger Warning: This drama deals heavily with mental health. The opening scene is a woman committing suicide. (I was honestly surprised at how graphic it was. Obviously it’s nowhere near 13 Reasons Why, but they showed more than I’ve ever seen in a drama outside of Let’s Fight Ghost which was about dead people.) The main lead has social anxiety. A character has depression. Visual self harm. etc.

Thoughts/Review: (no spoilers)

It’s been so long since this drama ended so this review is going to be scattered, but my GOD did I love this drama.

I wasn’t even going to watch this drama. I had it on my list, but the initial response to it was so negative, I took it off. But then I saw this one gifset of the male lead stroking the girl’s face while lying in a bed and I felt so much tension just from those gifs, I was immediately taken.

And honestly, Hwarang was so dry I was like dying of thirst and when I saw that gifset just drenched in chemistry I was sold.

I could see where the negative reviews came from. The editing was very jumpy - jumping back and forth to the various different things going on but, like, I couldn’t tell what was going on.

The transitions were really weird. The writers were awkward with introducing the characters. And then the drama started out with a woman jumping off of a building, and it takes you forever to find out who she was. JUST FYI that scene took place three years before the rest of the drama. They should have put “Three Years Later” at the bottom of the screen, no clue why they didn’t.

They could have used a bit more depth in setting up the characters. Whereas most dramas take two to three episodes to set up the plot, this drama just dived right in. Pretty much “everything” was set up in episode one. And I say that in quotation marks because of the episode 5 situation (explained below).

BUT once everything started to make sense, I was really intrigued. They had a really good story, it was just a rocky start. Get past the rocky start!

Much of the controversy was surrounding the female lead Park Hye Soo’s acting. I can’t argue with it. She wasn’t awful, but it seemed like it was her first lead role. She seemed like the type that can act well in minor roles, but something felt off with her line delivery... it felt almost forced. I think part of it was the weird script, because it got better after episode 4. Obviously it didn’t bother me enough to stop watching the drama, I stopped noticing it much the later I got into the drama. I guess the experience did well for her.

For those of you who don’t know or don’t remember when the news broke, the drama skipped a week to rewrite the script. This happened after episode 4. If you are watching and you’re not really feeling it, my advice is to wait and watch episodes 5 and 6 because that’s where a lot of things are fixed, everything gets explained, and the plot picks up.

NOTE: From what I gathered when watching, the writers changed the central conflict. There are a few continuity errors, but it’s understandable considering they film these dramas while they’re airing.

It was really quirky. The bright colors, the tone, the dialogue. It reminded me a bit of the extra-ness of jdramas. It had that lighthearted, fun feeling like Sassy Go Go, Surplus Princess, Marriage Not Dating (from what I’ve heard), Cinderella and Four Knights, Shopping King Louis, etc.

However, the deeper you get into the show, the more things appear to be not what they seem. So while “everything” is explained in episode 5, aside from the personal conflicts and episodic conflicts, there was this mystery brewing. A sort of underlying sketchyness that kept growing until the end.

I absolutely adored this drama. From the comedy (which was golden btw) to the use of irony to the characters to the romance. It is up on my list of top dramas for 2017.

The comedy: there was a lot of witty dialogue and utilization of each of the characters’ little quirks. The actors did amazing, a lot of it was expressions and motions tied in with dialogue that wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining if the actors delivered it badly.

Yeon Woo Jin did such an amazing job as Eun Hwan Gi. He made this character come to life in such a raw and realistic way, I am truly impressed. I’m looking forward to seeing him in his next drama. I, someone with a social anxiety disorder, relate to Eun Hwan Gi so much it’s frightening. But that’s what made me love the drama even more. It made me feel a deeper connection to any kdrama character I have ever felt, and his thought process was so much like mine (always overthinking things) it made me root for him that much more. 

I felt so much for him seeing him make the efforts because I know from personal experience how hard it was for him. He was unable to do the mean thing despite it being the right thing because it was mean. He was so not the typical male kdrama lead, and he broke a lot of gender stereotypes. Plus he was freaking adorable. He had all these charms; his drunk habit for one lol, + he was caring, he watched over everyone, and when he did succeed in conquering his fear step by step as a viewer it fills you with so much warmth.

He’s just such a wonderful person and it brings you unbelievable joy as a viewer to see the rest of the characters slowly realize this too.

ALSO HE WAS LIKE HEALER’S BONG SOO ALIAS EXCEPT IN REAL PERSON FORM AND I LOVED IT.

And then when we finally got to see his frustration. Social anxiety is not this cute introvert nerd, it’s a pain in the ass and I am so glad/proud/thankful that the writers showed this side of it.

I want to take a second to mention the symbolism. I adored the symbolism behind his hood and what it meant for him to take it off/put it on. It was just one more key to understanding the character + it made you feel all the things when he was comfortable enough to take it off.

Chae Ro Woon... It was hard to judge her change because it was so sudden, but I thought her change was for the better. Yet there were still some things that annoyed me. A lot of time the writers used her inappropriate(?) behavior to move the plot along, but there were still instances I thought she was way over the line. However in my opinion, a lot of the hate towards her was out of line because her main goal was revenge and it seemed like people kept forgetting that. Especially later on, I thought Chae Ro Woon was just absolutely amazing. She was so understanding of Hwan Gi, even though it took her some time (which is realistic), and she was accepting of him. She didn’t push him too hard to change, she gave him space, and did what she could to make him comfortable. I loved it.

I was also a little disappointed with what the writers did with Hyo Sung’s character, specifically the way she treated Hwan Gi, but I’m going to attribute that to the story change and that if the writers could they would go back and take out that one scene from episode 2(?) to make her character understandable.

I’m not going to mention how I feel about Kang Woo Il, or Eun Yi Soo for that matter, because everything surrounding them is a spoiler. They’re complicated, especially Yi Soo. While I may not have been fond of them, I understood them. Especially Yi Soo. Which is what I believe is the most important when it comes to a character.

I LOVED YOO HEE. I don’t know if either of you have seen the Taiwanese drama Refresh Man, but it was another office romance and there was this older woman who saw the main character’s feelings for the girl and tried to set them up. I loved it. And the same thing pretty much happened here. It was hilarious.

Yeon Jung, usually I hate characters like her, but she was so amazing. She was annoying as a love interest but necessary as a friend, and I am actually glad a character like her was in the drama.

The romance. The sexual tension between Eun Hwan Gi and Chae Ro Woon was tangible. I loved how he slowly opened up to her, and it was symbolic in his hood and the way his voice became louder the more comfortable he became. Spoiler: they kiss a shit ton of times. I loved every second. 

The drama did a lot of things I didn’t expect. There were really straightforward conversations (the how-far-have-you-gone one), admissions of wrongful actions, actual apologies from multiple characters (all the characters that needed to imo) that I didn’t expect to happen, girls telling people off and breaking every drama stereotype.

A little thing I really liked was how, you know when dramas are like “we’ve wrapped up the plot but still have two episodes” so they create a conflict which is usually super random and off topic? This one tied back to the original roots of the plot and it fit so well with the theme of the whole drama. There was a huge presence of family in the drama, both Ro Woon’s and Hwan Gi’s, and I was very appreciative of how they wrapped up.

And, hun, while I stumbled over the time jump in the last episode, that ending was FANTASTIC. I don’t need to say anything else. Just that it was so damn satisfying.

Someone get me an Eun Hwan Gi please and thank you.

~~~

Finished 3/14/17

[wyldlittledog]

RULES . answer  the  questions  in  a  new  post  &  tag  20  blogs  you  would  like  to  get  to  know  better.     (  repost  don’t  reblog !  ) TAGGED BY .  @astralmedic (Thank you!!) TAGGING .  @witchesandwarriors, @xmythikosx, @nodomina, @whorunwithwolves, @fvckthegods (I thiiiink you were tagged, but for good measure) and any of the rest of yas that wanna do the thing.

NICKNAME. Jenn. Usually just Jenn, but those who know me from my ooc blog or from my fic writing sometimes call me Severity. STAR SIGN.  Capricorn (I’m the least Capri-est Capricorn you will ever meet, and don’t even believe in that stuff... though there are some odd reoccurring patterns I have with people of certain signs. Tauruses are always welcome here. :) And I’ve started to run from another sign that shall not be named, dropping grenades in my wake.) HEIGHT. 5′7″ CURRENT TIME.  01:47 AM (as of when I typed that) FAV MUSIC ARTIST. There’s a few, but probably Rasputina (yes, they are problematic sometimes, I realize this, but I LOVE their sound). My musical tastes are all over the map, though there’s a heavy presence of badass ladies who rock out. SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD. Idek why, because I haven’t listened to it recently, but  “Spider Cider” by Man Man (tw: a little bit of violent imagery) LAST MOVIE WATCHED. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story LAST SHOW WATCHED. Hack My Life WHEN DID YOU CREATE YOUR BLOG.  March 2017 (I’m a baby blog.) WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU POST. Threads, memes, gifsets (some I’ve made, other’s just reblogged), graphics, pics, fanart, nonsense, whatever I want. I TRY to post more RP than other stuff, but I’m honestly not very successful sometimes. OTHER BLOGS. @severity-softly (ooc, multifandom, though mostly The 100 and Spartacus atm), @castironbxtch (Laurent from The Captive Prince series rp blog, though he’s not currently active because, while the fandom is HUGE, no one seems to rp in it, and Laurent doesn’t play well with others sometimes.) I have a few other rp sideblogs, but they are not set up yet at all. They’re empty. They may be coming soon, though! WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL.  I always loved Agron’s line calling Nasir  “wild little dog”. Turned out to be pretty well fitting, in Vengeance era in particular. Though he hisses more than he growls. ;) HOGWARTS HOUSE. Huffleclaw. POKEMON TEAM. I... have no clue. I played Pokemon Go briefly (and pissed off a few die hard Poke-people because I caught a Pikachu almost right away), but only vaguely remember team names. Valor? Is that one? Valor. I’m sticking to it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ FAVORITE COLOR. Red and green (like deep forest and mossy greens). AVG HOURS SLEEP. Way too many, it’s embarrassing. I need to get my shit together. LUCKY NUMBER. 9 (don’t actually believe in this stuff either, but this number is actually significant to me.) HOW MANY BLANKETS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? One. And it usually gets thrown off. DREAM JOB. Actress. I used to act a lot in my teens and twenties (stage productions), and even got paid a little for it occasionally (damn right, I was a fucking working actress!!!), but haven’t done it in years. I would LOVE to get back into it, but there is an ageism problem when it comes to getting gigs acting, and there are many prettier actresses my age out there, I’m sure. Lol! But I think that’s why I love RP so much. It’s my outlet to “act”, to “play” a character who isn’t me. :) And yes, I do act shit out when I write it sometimes. Or even when I’m not writing, but just thinking about musey stuff. I’m a fucking lunatic.