#I wanted to draw this such a long time ago but for some reason I can't draw anything unless I have a specific thing pictured in my mind-

[woso-dreamzzz]

Kidnapped IV

Fridolina Rolfö x Teen!Reader

Summary: You visit your older sister, Frido

Frido grins as you step into arrivals.

You've gotten a bit taller in the months that she's not seen you, sprouting up like a weed until you're the long and lanky person that stands before her now.

"Hey, you," She says fondly, tugging on a stray lock of your hair.

"Hey, Frido," You say in response, tugging your suitcase behind you just as your sister sweeps you into a hug.

"How is school?" She asks," And the family? And what about your friends? Are they all good? Oh! And how is your handball going because-"

You laugh, knocking your shoulder against Frido's with a grin.

"I can't answer your questions if you keep asking them one after another."

Frido glances down at you.

You're barely sixteen but still nearly reaching her height, nothing like the tiny little baby she'd once held in her arms all those years ago. You're yet to fully grow into your lanky limbs but Frido can still see the faint outline of the small muscles underneath the baggy clothes you've worn for the plane journey.

She can't imagine that they'll remain that small for long, if what your parents have told her about your handball training has been true and your attempt to get onto the Swedish Olympic Youth Team is successful.

"What?" You ask," Why are you looking at me like that?"

Frido laughs, ruffling your hair fondly before grabbing your suitcase. "No reason," She says," I can't just look at my little sister?"

"You're being weird."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Frido pokes you in the shoulder. "Is that anyway to talk to the person that's buying you dinner tonight?"

You grin, more of a half smirk than anything else. "It depends."

"On?"

"On if I'm choosing dinner or you're choosing."

"Be nice to me on the way home and I'll let you choose."

Your room is as you left it the last time you came to visit Frido with a stack of books up on the shelf, a blanket thrown over the little reading nook in the corner and one of your handball trophies on the bedside table.

"I changed the sheets and stuff," Frido tells you as she unpacks your clothes into the wardrobe," And I put some new snacks in your drawers. I know you like to snack in the middle of the night. Your old ones went out of date."

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"But I wanted to."

Frido draws you closer to her. Almost six months ago, she could rest her chin on the top of your head but now it's more of an awkward angle because of your growth spurt.

"I'm just trying to make you comfortable," She teases," Because our parents sent me your gym routine. The life of a student athlete. You don't get a break even when you're on holiday."

You grin. "I'm just making sure I'm a better athlete than you."

"You can't compare football to handball. They're completely different sports."

You grin. "And yet I'm still outdoing you."

"For now," Frido says," We'll get to the gym and I'll show you that I've still got it."

"Yeah, right, old woman," You laugh," I can run rings around you."

"We'll see."

Frido, for her own peace of mind and so no one else sees, bans you from posting your triumph on the running machine on your social media later that day.

"You should have seen me in my prime," Frido says that evening as she eats dinner out of a box and pokes you in the leg with her toe.

You're on the other side of the sofa with your own box of food, grinning over at your sister as she pokes at you again.

"You wouldn't have been able to keep up," Frido continues," You'll see. Watch any of my highlight reels."

"I don't need to," You say with a grin," Why don't you watch some of mine?"

Frido flicks a piece of food at you and you smugly catch it in your mouth.

"Is it still the plan to quit?" She asks," When you're older?"

You groan, throwing your head back to look up at the light. "Did Mama and Papa put you up to this?"

"Don't deflect," Frido says," You can go far in handball, you know. You've got the talent."

"I don't know," You say after a long stretch of silence," I...I just don't want handball to be my everything, you know? I just...I don't know how feasible it is to have two jobs at once if I'm being an athlete."

"You're too smart for me," Frido says simply," So I don't know either but I know that if you're really set on it then you'll find a way to make it work."

"Really?"

Frido laughs. "Of course. You're smarter than people give you credit for. I mean, you managed to track down that guy that tried to steal Mapi and Ingrid's cats and you weren't even in the country for a week. You'll work it out."

"You think so."

Frido reaches forward to ruffle your hair. "I know so. Now, how about you grab that menu over there and we'll have a look about ordering dessert too?"

[gloomwitchwrites]

Task Force 141 Masked Metal Band AU x Backup Singer Reader

Chapter Specific Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, suggestive themes, brief mention of alcohol

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: Part Two of Second Act

At the afterparty, Simon confronts you. You run to Lena for safety. During a game of pool, Simon makes you an offer.

Chapter One // Chapter Three

ao3 // main masterlist // second act masterlist

“Thought I recognized you.”

His voice is living memory, sending you down, down, down into a tangled web of barbed wire. You cannot shake it off or crawl out of it. The metal digs in. You’ll have to tear it from your flesh. Draw blood.

You were right to question why the drummer paused when exiting the stage. It was Simon, and he recognized you. The fact that you’re here only confirms whatever suspicion he had earlier.

But it’s not just him—not only him.

There are three others, watching at a distance, their gazes drilling into the back of your skull. Maybe it’s a small grace that you cannot see their expressions. Simon’s presence alone is already suffocating.

Signing those contracts to join Lechery on their North American tour was a new beginning. Now, you’re a trapped animal, realizing that it’s surrounded by predators. Simon is not a stranger. The other three band members are not strangers.

Worse yet, this is worst possible time for him to show up.

It’s not the right place. Not the right fucking situation.

But you cannot run from this. There is no retreat. The exit is on the far side of the room, and everyone in attendance would notice if you suddenly bolted.

Cruelty. Nothing else describes it.

Fate is playing a trick, circling back to the choices you made all those years ago, smashing your face into the door as it shoves you through it.

“This is—” Your voice catches in your throat, nearly choking you. Even your lungs betray you. “A surprise,” you manage.

A creeping numbness enters the tips of your fingers as if you’ve been standing outside in the cold for too long. With it comes an urge to shake out your hands, the muscles in your arms itching for release.

The corner of Simon’s mouth quirks with a hint of a smile. It’s such a familiar gesture that your heart momentarily flutters, remembering all the times he’d give you that one little look while never giving it to anyone else.

“That’s one way to put it,” he muses.

You inwardly flinch.

There’s too much meaning in his words, and yet not nearly enough. Years have separated the two of you, have separated you from the all of them. There’s little reason to hope that they’ll greet you like an old friend. If anything, they have the right to demand answers—to demand to know why you up and left.

With as much casualness as you can muster, you cross one leg over the other, resting your hands between your thighs. “It’s been a long time.”

It’s a stupid thing to say. Of course it’s been a long fucking time.

Simon’s mouth turns downward in a slight frown. His lips part, but instead of speaking, he inhales. As if changing his mind, Simon shifts his attention from you to Olivia.

“Am I interrupting?”

Now you ask.

“Yes,” you reply automatically just as Olivia says, “No.”

Your head snaps in her direction, eyes growing large. Olivia sheepishly brings her drink to her lips, taking a long sip.

It’s best to salvage this. And by salvage, you mean scrap it all together.

“Olivia and I were having a chat. I could come find you later?” you offer.

Take it, Simon. Fucking take it.

Olivia pops up off the sofa. “It’s fine,” she says brightly, some of that West Virginia accent seeping through. “You can take my seat.”

You want to strangle her. What the fuck is she doing?

“Thanks, love,” grins Simon as Olivia steps to the right to move out of his way.

As he slides by her, Olivia nods her head in Simon’s direction. “Talk to him,” she mouths. You give a little shake of your head. Olivia holds her cup up to her face, blocking her mouth from Simon’s view. “You’re welcome,” she says silently, slipping away to mingle.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

All the sound in the room suddenly becomes a roar, the lights far too bright. Your vision swims, and then it all narrows quickly as if you’re experiencing the world through the end of a straw.

It’s your name that snaps you back to reality.

Your name. From Simon’s lips.

He drapes an arm over the back of the sofa, body turned toward you with clear familiarity. This is not two strangers introducing themselves. Simon leans forward in an almost intimate manner, like he’s known you all your life.

But he does know you, doesn’t he?

The two of you may be separated by years but there was a time when your entire life revolved around him.

And not just him.

There was Johnny. Kyle. John.

Each of them an individual anchor. Then all together, changing you, shaping you until it became too much, and you dashed from them like a sprinting deer.

The mellow, overhead lights twinkle in Simon’s brown eyes. “You’re our backup singer.”

“One of three,” you correct.

Simon inclines his head. “Did you know?”

“That you were Lechery?” Simon nods and you shake your head. “Of course not. Think I’d accept if I did?”

“Don’t know, dove. Didn’t say much when you left.”

I didn’t say anything.

You exhale slowly, attempting to calm your nerves. “Congratulations by the way.” You gesture vaguely at the room. “On your success.”

“Thank you,” murmurs Simon. “It’s a change from when we first met.”

That’s an understatement. When you first met him, it was at a punk show in London. You were blitzed out on gin and tonics and Simon was just a masked stranger to you. A brooding, balaclava wearing beast of a man that you saddled up to and flirted with incessantly. The two of you went to his flat, and once there, you pounced on him. And when his bandmate, Johnny, came home, he joined in. The three of you went at it until the sun came up.

That was before you met the other two housemates. When they arrived, they wormed their way in, and suddenly it was no longer just you, Johnny, and Simon.

Three months of the four of them. Of the five of you.

Years have spawned since. Of course things have changed.

“Still living in that little flat in South London?”

“No. Building is gone.”

“Oh?”

Simon cocks his head. “They built a hospital.” He shrugs. “The area needed it.”

The two of you lapse into a stretching quiet. Conversation is difficult, and it’s not just because you’re a goddamn nervous wreck. The Simon you knew then was tall and muscular, but still had a boyish air to him. This Simon is a man. He almost appears taller somehow. His chest and shoulders are broader, taking up far too much space. You feel eclipsed by him. Smaller. Fragile.

Which is silly. Absurd.

You’ve never felt like that around him, nor any of them. Vulnerable, yes. But never insignificant.

He oozes darkness. Danger. Temptation.

When you first met him at that punk show all those years ago, you felt it then, too, but there was something more chaotic about it. Like a Molotov cocktail sort of frenzy, where now it’s large and looming and suffocating like pure darkness.

If you were to let him in again, Simon would swallow you whole.

“With all the money you have now, I’m sure you’re in something much nicer.”

Simon chuckles. “I have reliable heat now. That’s something.”

“Because the heat actually works? Or because you can afford it?”

This time Simon’s chuckle is a hearty laugh. “Got me there.”

A hesitation rises in your throat. Speaking with Simon again, having him near you like this, is warming parts of you that long went cold. Keeping him on this sofa might be the thing you need—but it will also lead toward a conversation you have no interest in having.

“I shouldn’t keep you,” you murmur. “You’ve only just got here. I’m sure there are people who want to talk to you.”

“They can wait,” he says automatically.

From his tone, there is little room for discussion.

“I’m not important. In fact, I was invited here out of kindness.” This party isn’t for you. It’s for Lechery, and for everyone who made the European tour a success. “You should…mingle.”

It’s a meager rebuttal, and Simon knows this.

He leans forward a bit, closing the space between you. His gaze is so piercing, so primal, you’re pinned to the cushion, unable to move or think or speak.

“We’ve been waiting. I’ve been waiting. Years. Fucking years. Not a word. Not even a glimpse of where you’d gone or what happened to you.”

“Simon—”

“Don’t,” he says sharply. “I should be angry.” His gaze drops to your lips. “But all I want to do is kiss you.”

Your lips involuntarily part, and Simon groans lowly, his brow softening as he leans in a bit more.

“I have to go,” you whisper, drawing back at the last second. “Promised Lena a round of pool.”

As you scoot back, Simon’s arm darts out, his large hand grasping your bare thigh. It is a brand against your skin—a reminder of his touch, and that only sparks a fire in your core. His hand slides inward toward your pussy, moving higher up your thigh, pushing the hem of your dress up until it bunches tightly over your lap. He drags you right back to him.

“And you promised us you’d never leave,” he replies, that assertive darkness returning. “But you did.” A crease forms in the middle of his brow. “You did.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” you hiss.

Glancing over Simon’s shoulder, you observe the rest of the room. Most people aren’t paying you any attention, but a few nearby partygoers keep looking your way. But as your gaze sweeps over the crowd, you find them.

Johnny and Kyle are no longer near the bar. They’ve moved closer to you and Simon, and it’s clear that Johnny wants in on whatever’s being said, but Kyle is holding him back. John is still at the bar, a full glass of whiskey in hand, staring off into space like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Why not?” he asks, and there is genuine concern in that question.

I can’t tell you. It hurts too much.

“Let me go, Simon,” you whisper, knowing that you don’t sound strong. Only broken.

Simon’s hand remains on your thigh. He glances down at it. Easing up on his grip, Simon lightly caresses your skin with his thumb. You shiver, pussy clenching. Like a snake encircling its prey, the desire for him slithers around and between your bones.

“Just say it. And we’ll go.”

Simon gently squeezes your thigh again, and this time, you have to stifle a moan.

“I can’t,” you breathe.

The words hurt. They’re a daggered edge. As much as your body and mind crave him, your heart isn’t in it.

Simon’s grip eases, and you scoot away from him, smoothing your dress as you stand. He stares up at you, mouth a thin line, face grim. You can’t even gather enough strength to say goodbye.

Moving around the other side of the sofa, you aim right for Lena. She’s chatting up Rudy, the man Alejandro spoke to earlier when he couldn’t find his phone.

“Sorry to cut in,” you say with forced cheeriness. “But I need to borrow Lena. We were going to play a round of pool together.”

“Were we?” she asks slowly, side-eyeing you.

You turn your fake smile on her. “Yes,” you emphasize through gritted teeth.

Rudy beams. “Course.” He winks at Lena. “I’ll find you later.”

As Rudy starts to walk away, you link your arm in Lena’s, pulling her tightly against your side. Your gaze darts everywhere, scanning the room to make sure the members of Lechery don’t appear from thin air.

“Bitch, you better be joking,” she deadpans.

“We’re playing pool.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “I suck at pool. And why are you looking around like that?” Lena glances around too, her mouth turned downward in a frown. When she finds nothing of interest, she turns her attention back to you. “You look neurotic.”

“It’s Simon,” you whisper.

“And?” she prompts.

“And what?” Lena lifts her hand and waves it in a “go on” gesture. “We talked.”

“Very helpful,” she retorts. “And what did you and Simon talk about?” Her slightly annoyed expression becomes devious. “I saw the way he was looking at you.”

She waggles her eyebrows and you groan. “If we don’t start playing pool right now, he’ll know I lied.”

Lena bursts out laughing. “Was the conversation that bad?”

“Not…exactly,” you mutter, tugging on her arm, trying to herd Lena toward one of the pool tables.

“I don’t understand. It wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t good either?”

“Yep,” you reply, tugging a little harder.

“Okay, ow. Girl, chill.” Lena comes to a dead stop and you nearly topple forward. “What did he say?”

You give the room another once-over. At first, you think you’re in the clear, and then you spot Simon just a few feet away deep in conversation with Johnny.

“Fuck,” you whisper. “They’re right there.”

Lena holds up a hand. “Stop. You’re acting weird.” When you don’t answer right away, her concern becomes rage. “What the fuck did he do?”

“Lena—”

“I will beat his ass.” You give her a bland look, and Lena sighs loudly, her rage melting away to bemused irritation. “Fine. I won’t fight him.” Her lips purse. “But I might accidentally spill a drink on him.”

“The conversation was fine. Just—” You chew on your bottom lip. “Not one I was expecting.”

Lena’s brow softens. “You haven’t seen him in years. And it’s not like you knew.”

She knows parts of what happened that summer, but she doesn’t have all the pieces. Of what she does, your reasons for fleeing isn’t one.

“No,” you agree. “I didn’t.”

You should consider the information a blow. Like a punch to the face, you’ve been thrown into a fight headfirst without any prior warning. Simon might have been the one to approach you tonight, but the others eventually will. There is an entire tour ahead of you. They will have every opportunity to bring it up.

Tour aside, you’ve signed on with 141 Music Group. There is little room for you to suddenly back out and turn tail. The ink is dried. The contracts signed and finalized. Breaking contracts isn’t unheard of, but you’d be screwing yourself financially. You’d also be putting Lena and Olivia in a tight spot. While each of you signed your own individual contracts, the three of you also signed one together as a trio.

You can’t just up and leave.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” you admit, voice deflating like a popped balloon.

Lena’s face falls. She unlinks her arm from yours only to go in for a hug. “It’ll be fine. You have me. You have Olivia.” Drawing back, she places her hands on your shoulders. “All you need to do is be professional and do your job.”

“I know.”

“Fuck them,” she smiles, and then, with a sultry purr, “or fuck them.”

“Lena, I swear,” you mutter as she cackles.

Draping her arm over your shoulder, she turns toward the pool table. “Let’s play this god-awful game.”

It isn’t long before one of the tables opens up. Lena takes the lead, jumping in and taking the offered cue sticks. She hands one to you, and takes the other. Leaning yours against the pool table, you remove the billiard balls and set them on the tabletop.

As you start to straighten your spine, mind elsewhere, you don’t realize Simon is standing next to you until you nearly knock into him. You stagger backwards, but Simon is lightning quick, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you on your feet.

“Don’t fall,” he chides with a cheeky grin.

The back of your neck flares hot. A snarky retort simmers on your tongue but you swallow it back.

“Thank you,” you reply, tone cool.

Simon’s arm lingers a few seconds longer before slowly retreating. It’s incredibly languid. Nothing hurried about it. All of these people around and Simon has zero shame. Is he doing this on purpose? Does he want you uncomfortable?

Lena saddles up beside you. She leans against her cue stick, one eyebrow arched at Simon. “We’re about to start. Need something?” Her tone sends a clear message.

Simon crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m playing winner.”

Damn it.

The winner will be you. Lena couldn’t play pool to save her life.

She makes a little sound of disapproval in the back of her throat. “Are you good with that?” she asks you, turning slightly in your direction.

No. It’s not fine.

“Perfectly,” you lie.

It’s the only answer you can give. A small crowd is forming, and the last thing you want to do is cause a scene.

As Lena shrugs and starts placing the billiard balls into the triangle rack, Simon’s hand lightly brushes over your lower back as he passes behind you. When you turn toward him, he doesn’t glance in your direction. He heads for Johnny, the two men taking up post against the wall.

Johnny’s gaze is intense—hardened. You’re not sure what he’s thinking. Which is so strange because he’s always been the most open of the four. He never could hide anything from you, and yet, you could never hide anything from him.

Lena grabs the sides of the triangle rack. She rocks it back and forth, bringing it to a stop. Removing the rack, she sets it aside, placing the cue ball in its starting point.

As you line up to make the first shot, your gaze flicks over to Simon and Johnny. Kyle has joined them, and he’s watching you right back.

Glancing away quickly, you go for it, striking the cue ball and sending it into the billiard balls. They scatter. You move into position again, sending your intended ball toward the pocket. It strikes the side just shy of the opening, moving away from the pocket and in the opposite direction.

“Your turn,” you say to Lena, stepping away.

You don’t dare glance in their direction. Sure, you could botch the game, play so poorly that Lena has to play Simon, but it would be obvious to everyone that you did. That’s how bad Lena is.

A few more turns and you completely have this in the bag. It’s not even negotiable at this point. Every time Lena strikes the cue ball and it misses her intended target, she winces. It’s followed by her giving you a sympathetic expression. She knows. She understands. At least, in some part.

It isn’t much longer before it’s called. Lena didn’t hit a single ball.

“Sorry,” she whispers just as Simon approaches.

He holds out his hand and Lena places the cue stick in his open palm. As she walks away, Lena glances over her shoulder, offering you a look of reassurance. She might not be beside you, but she has your back.

“Think we should up the stakes,” says Simon casually.

“How so?” you ask, pointedly looking away from him to fuss with the billiard balls.

Using his cue stick as a support, Simon leans in. “A bet, if you will.”

“Do enlighten me.”

Simon licks his lips. “If you win, I’ll let the matter rest.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“And if I win,” he continues, that wicked smile of his returning. “You’re mine for the next three days.”

You drop the billiard ball you’re holding. It hits the tabletop with a loud thwack.

“I’m—” A nervous laugh escapes you. “What?”

“Three days,” he repeats. “For three days, you belong to me.”

You glance over his shoulder. Lena is staring, open-mouthed at the back of Simon’s head. Kyle and Johnny are listening intently, both of them slightly pushed off from the wall like they want to come over and join the conversation. John is still nowhere in sight, but you don’t look for him. Simon’s presence is far too consuming, and you won’t back down.

“Okay,” you breathe. “Three days. And then what?”

Simon’s voice shifts to a sultry swagger. “You’ll do what I tell you. Without question.”

You snort. “Not interested.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, love,” he croons. “I felt you shiver when I touched you. Heard the groan you made.”

You hear Lena choke on her drink, spluttering slightly as she clears her throat.

“Simon,” you warn.

“Don’t deny yourself,” he growls.

An insistent voice within you begs you to take it, to accept and lose on purpose because deep down, you’ve missed him all these years.

Don’t deny yourself.

For three days, you belong to me.

“Three days?” you ask.

“Three,” he confirms. “And it starts when I win.”

“If you win,” you correct.

Simon’s smile is cocky. “We have a deal then.”

You nod and back away. Simon allows his gaze to linger on your body. It roams up and down, soaking in every inch. The look is devouring. Primal. You’ve seen that look on him before. Countless times in fact, and always just before he fucked you.

Simon sets the table, adding the billiard balls to the triangle rack. He rolls them, removes the rack, and takes one solid step back, observing his work.

“You break,” he says, nodding toward the pool table.

“Sure about that?”

“I insist.”

You line up your shot, striking the cue ball. It shoots forward, cracking against the billiard balls, sending them in all directions.

You slowly straighten your spine, giving Simon a silent dare. He’s not looking at the balls at all, but at you, and there is something lingering behind that stare. A bit of your confidence chips away, and then it shatters completely when Simon takes position.

With one shot, he knocks three balls into the pocket. Fucking three.

This time, you’re not smiling. Simon is going to win this. Easily. It’s funny that you thought you even had the chance. Which is fucking insane. Sure, you’ve seen Simon play but he was never this good.

It takes no more than a few turns. Simon sweeps the floor with you, never giving you a fair chance.

He knew he’d win. He fucking knew.

The bastard.

You want to rage, to feel frustration and anger in equal measure, to lash out at him for clearly tricking you.

But there is no animosity. The two of you made a deal. You agreed to this.

As the final ball rolls into the pocket, your gaze sweeps across the pool table. Simon is still bent forward from his shot. He’s not watching the ball at all. He’s watching you.

Simon grins, victorious.

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[fayewoodss]

I've been pushed to an extreme recently and I need to get this off my chest for my own sanity. I've been ignoring this for months and doing what I can to avoid it, but things have increasingly gotten worse and I'm at a breaking point.

I know there are a lot of people keeping tabs on my blog for all the wrong reasons. This has led to a lot of my posts, fandom related and not, being taken and manipulated in ways to frame me negatively and warp any and all of my genuine intentions. I've done my best to address situations brought directly to me in good faith and with sensitive context, but everything has gotten out of hand and turned into a situation that has left me paranoid, anxious, and distraught. I need it to stop, even though I know it most likely won't.

This all started with my first drawing of the Dream Team girlfailures au in November and how I drew Claire. I understand the issue people had with it and I recognize some of the counter arguments and their valid points, but I think I explained my points well and they are equally valid. I stand by my explanation and I won't be rehashing all of it. The most I'll say is that my representations of cc!Dream in fandom context and of Girlfailures!Dream/Claire as an AU character are derived of a similar foundation but the latter is a fictional entity and not the real man.

I am always open to critique and discussion, but the feedback I've received and the long standing fixation on that art piece hasn't always been good faith critique, and has much more often been harassment and degradation of me as a person. That one drawing has led to an ongoing issue with what I would consider to be stalking and harassment.

Mar, @/cuntdrolo, has made at least 50 posts about and/or involving me, in those either directly linking my blog, indirectly mocking me and my posts, and harping on topics and discussions I was an active participant in. She claims none of this is harassment and stalking, that all of it is derived from me being a "sensitive golo" and normal fandom drama, when it's not. This hasn't been about fandom drama for a long time.

The only time I've directly interacted with her was to send her this message today:

She responded and blocked me, which is what I wanted, but has continued to post about me and this entire situation (which involves other people but I won't be dragging them into my part of this).

Here is a list of every post about me since mid-November. A few links I know for certain are missing, but I was unable to find the posts and two screenshots I had from that time saying I deserved to be killed for my art were deleted long ago. You will have to take my word for that unless I find them, but I understand and respect it if you don't.

I know she won't stop. I know there are people who will agree with her and support her, seeing only one side of this all. I don't care if people like my art. I don't care if people like me. I just want to be left alone and enjoy this fandom space without feeling like every action of mine is being watched and picked apart to an audience that doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me.

I've been in fandoms my whole life. I've dealt with plenty of fandom and personal drama. I've never experienced something to this degree of obsession, stalking, and harassment. I know a lot of this may get twisted back on me, but know I've done so much to ignore this and move on, but after this week with so much more being brought to my attention. I cracked.

Do not go to her blog. Do not interact with her posts. Do not send her anons. Do not involve yourself in this beyond reading this post and understanding my current mindset.

I don't want to be involved in this anymore. Stop making posts about me and leave me alone.

Thank you.

[ironicgreenfern]

When I compared Wilson’s translation of the first line of Book 9 with Fagles and Cook, I did notice that she doesn’t leave much to the reader for interpretation. Fagles uses the phrase “teller of tales” which can both refer to Odysseus’ prowess in telling stories or it could refer to the meaning of “tales” as “fabrication” or “fiction”. Either way, Fagles leaves it to the reader to decide. When Wilson uses the epithet “lord of lies”, she doesn’t give us as much freedom. I did a bit of research on my own and found out this review by Corrine Pache, professor of classical studies at Trinity University, San Antonio. She actually mentions this. She too, felt that “lord of lies”, while catchy, was unsuitable and did not convey the full meaning of the word used there. She also says that Wilson uses the word “girls” to describe the slaves who were killed, while in reality, the original Greek text describes them as “women” and “slaves”. So, yes, I do agree with you, it does feel like Wilson purposefully mistranslates passages in her effort to overcome the bias. Unfortunately, this too creates a bias and wilfully manipulates the understanding of the reader. Another thing that the review mentions, and rightfully so, because I too was upset with it when I first read Wilson’s translation, was her deliberate choice to omit repetitions of certain passages. These repetitions are a proof of the oral tradition and an intrinsic part of the narrative. Without them, the text loses some of its charm.

When I said that “Odysseus’ deceptions destroyed lives”, I only wanted to draw attention to the fact that his plans might benefit one group while harming the other. While it is true, the Odyssey shows him trying to minimising the damage as much as possible, such is the nature of plans in general. A kind of an action-reaction effect (I hope this makes sense). To me, it seemed important to consider the reaction too. Also, while it is true that Odysseus warns the suitors repeatedly, I have always felt conflicted about the part where Odysseus and Telemachus kill the slave women. Odysseus reasons that they have brought shame upon his household and conspired with the suitors by sleeping with them. Yet, how can we be certain that they did so willingly? They were slaves after all. They had no one to protect them, with the master of the household gone, and Telemachus still young. Perhaps the women slept with the suitors not out of willingness, but out of fear. Even if some of them did willingly conspire with the suitors, did they really pose a threat to Odysseus? (Also, my usage of the word “terrible”, might have been a bit strong!)

As for the “cheating” thing that you said, it probably wasn’t a big deal for people to sleep with women other than their wives, if you look at it through the text’s time. I mean, we do see the Greeks in the Iliad taking war prizes in the form of women. And Odysseus does it as a necessity, not out of a need, perhaps? Because both Circe and Calypso were very powerful women, and potentially harmful to Odysseus (and his men, in case of Circe). In Book 5, Calypso does seem a bit miffed that Odysseus keeps wanting to see his wife when she is so much more beautiful, and Odysseus has to soothe her by saying that Penelope could never match her beauty. As I said before, Odysseus isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, and maybe this is one of the cases. Cheating is awful, yes, but it seems a bit unfair to judge a character completely by our standards when he comes from a time so long ago.

Whatever I said about Odysseus in my previous post, was what I interpreted based on reading translations of Fagles and Wilson. I agree with all that you said, and again I am grateful that you answered to my post, because it helped me clear up a lot of things up about Odysseus in general. He is my favourite character too, and I am always happy to talk about him to someone (a habit that annoys my parents!). I also apologise if my interpretations are not always correct, as I am only 15, and as such my reading is nowhere near an expert like you. But I am really enthusiastic about Greek mythology and I hope to learn the language someday, so that I can read the epics in their own language.

I’ll also be adding Lattimore (and the others) to my reading list, since you recommended them. To be honest, I was a bit upset when I learned that Wilson’s translation was inaccurate. I think I really should do a side by side reading comparison of Wilson and any other translation next. If I do, I hope you won’t mind if I occasionally pester you with asks regarding any confusion I might have.

One of my favourite moments in the Odyssey is how Alcinous reacts after listening to Odysseus’ tales about his journey back from Troy, in Book 11. This is the moment I am talking about:

This is page 291 in my Norton edition of Emily Wilson’s translation of the Odyssey

Keep in mind that this is after Odysseus talks about the incidents in the cyclops’ cave (the “nobody” incident, as I like to call it) just two books before, in Book 9. Book 9 also begins with the following lines:

This is page 240

Alcinous’ praise in Book 11 (the first pic) made me audibly go “What?!” when I first read it. I am quite certain that this was the general reaction of the gods on Olympus, who were very probably listening to the conversation all along.

Odysseus’ charisma is unmatched.

[milkamel]

I’ve absolutely adored this hc for quite a couple of months and I think it’s time I post something regarding it + add some kross sprinkled in <3 I made some doodles occasionally but I thought they weren’t good enough to post yk. Now I’m happy with myself <3

(Honestly I’m not sure how to label Killer, though those are the labels I see may fit him- anyway trans Cross makes me happy I love my boy sm)

Cross belongs to jakei Killer belongs to rahafwabas

[xxplastic-cubexx]

if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying

(Wolverine (2020) #3)

[fluffalpenguin]

the mean girls of duel academia

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[choco-dawn]

i havent posted in so long.........sorry, heres a bunch of random stuff

[babysundoll]

So I guess magolor is Jesus now

They wanted to build a fort. Arthur was there for architectural guidance

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 14: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should relax by spending his afternoon shopping ..

~

He trots down the mossy cobblestone walkway, gazing around in awe as he approaches the central hub of the small city. Tiny shops and stalls and carts are woven through the few clusters of taller buildings, with a modest crowd bustling back and forth between them. Despite much of the land being cleared for structures and pathways, it's still lush with greenery wherever it can be, every blank stone wall or street corner dotted with trailing vines and flowering fruit trees.

After spending a good 25 minutes trying to orient himself at the city map directory, he finally finds his way onto one of the primary shopping streets, eager to spend the afternoon lazily strolling about, trying to ignore his physical aches and just take in all the sights as he hunts for interesting items....

...A few hours (and multiple snack breaks) later, the streets begin to glow with a hazy warmth as lanterns are lit, marking the nearing sunset. Possibly because of the fight yesterday, he's felt shakier, more easily startled than usual, and suddenly realizes an urgent need to be safely inside his room at the inn before nightfall. He wanted to stay out longer, see the lights and the crowds, fascinating scenes of city nightlife he's never been exposed to before.. but, his nerves are impossible to ignore.

Begrudgingly preparing to slink off towards the inn in a sweaty anxious panic, he stops in the doorway, resolving to at LEAST buy himself ONE nice item before he leaves. He doesn't have much money, sure, but it'd be a shame to simply look around all day and not get anything. All travelers need to collect their souvenirs, right? But.. What should he get?

-

-

Additional Information (feel free to skip this part, it's just extra context for people who are interested lol)

just for record (in case it influences what people think he should buy), this is the adventurer's current inventory contents:

small journal + pencil to document his travels (and a few colored pencils for sketching plants or doodling)

a basic travel guide booklet

a simple map of the area

a small glass lantern case you can put candles in

fire starting materials

basic matches

first aid kid (a few bandages, simple antibacterial balm, some dried herbs that can be used for minor issues like stomach aches or nausea)

one metal cup, one metal bowl/plate thing, one metal fork/spoon, a cooking knife, and one metal pot for cooking over the fire

a basic toiletry bag (toothbrush, herbal mixture toothpaste type thing, bar of soap, one towel, a rag, a few disposable paper napkins, moisturizing oil, hair brush, a tiny cracked mirror)

three bottles of various spice mixes for flavoring the plain/bland food he usually forages on the road (+ plain salt)

a glass jar of berries

a container of plain dried oats

a container of dried beans

half a loaf of stale bread

one carrot he found

a bag of dried fruit

about 15 coins (maybe equivalent to $45 USD in our world money lol)

a basic fishing kit (simple lures, hooks, string)

two containers of canned fish just as a back up in case he ever can't find fresher food for the cat

a cheesy fairytale romance novel about people going on a grand heroic journey, to help give him inspiration to continue on his own travels and be the ultimate Super Cool Adventurer Hero

an old folded up letter from his family

a fabric pouch of cool shiny rocks + other trinkets he's collected

one change of underwear, one change of socks, + winter gloves

foldable saw

some twine/string

a basic sewing kit (2 needles, one spool of thread, a thimble)

lawyer's business card (from boat party)

lawyer's fancy expensive giant scarf (also from party)

1 lunchbox of vegetable dumplings (from Innkeeper)

2 canteens of water

a small dagger for cutting rope, vines, multipurpose anything

a little tin of mint & rose flavored candies for when his mouth gets dry

a box of cubed dried chicken as cat treats

a box of fancy tea

one large rope

a roll of fabrics (one thick blanket for padding when sleeping on the ground, some basic tent fabric to make shelter from, a few spare fabric scraps, 2 cloth napkin/towel things, two cloth sacks for extra carrying capacity if needed)

1 pouch of dried meat

5 candles

Innkeeper's hand-drawn map to her brother's hideout

and of course, the Mysterious Egg in a little wooden box

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[phagodyke]

was just saying to my friend that since my period is due next weekend I probably won't be able to hang out bc it'll be difficult to walk from my room to the bathroom let alone like. to the station anyway just suddenly became aware that the continuous cramps I get in this stage of my cycle have been slowly increasing in intensity the last few hours so we may be on course for a week earlier start than usual. locking down all defenses rn......🚨🚨🚨🚨

[strxnged]

line of action my beloved

[remxedmoon]

your friends don’t know what to do.

so!! i redrew every single enemy in the game. in the span of like 9 days (excluding the king i made him right after the last update). that’s abbbout 79* drawings total, with only 3 custom ones for once!! i’m so normal. as always, these are free to use with credit!! go nuts!! spritesheets are included <3

got some notes under the cut, along with As Many Enemies As I Could Fit without making this post obnoxiously long. and i failed. i had to swap between the app and browser several times and i still couldn’t fit every drawing. open this post at your own risk (silly).

okay so first of all. what’s with the asterisk. well. I Drew A Lot More Than 79 Assets Actually. they’re getting posted separately, because this post is ABSURDLY long. you can find most of them in the miscellaneous folder, but for a bit of clarity, i added the teleport map and a bunch of ui elements that reference sprites from the icon sheet. and also the game over and loop back animations but i haven’t finished the spritesheets for those because they’re a pain in the ass so they’re not in the drive yet

if you missed my complaining a few days ago, a few enemies might look a bit crunchy in the actual game? specifically, calamité and désespoir were drawn at the wrong size, because their images in the files do not match the spritesheets! i avoided the issue with most of the other enemies, those two just blindsided me. sorry about that!

^sadnesses having inconsistent designs was actually a running theme with these. détresse rock has an unused design in the files (which i managed to catch before having to redo it thankfully), anxiété has extra spikes that don’t appear on the spritesheet (sorry i was too lazy to fix that one), even the version of the friend rescue in the files doesn’t match any of the frames in the spritesheet. hfjfhfj. sorry about the quality issues.

tangentially related to that, massive thank you to @riggedbones for grabbing the individual frames for the animations for me!! they made my life so much easier. vs friends would’ve been so annoying…

speaking of the animations! hi can you tell i’m not an animator. these were my first time doing Anything animation related since, like, middle school. super sorry for the Jank in some of these! the friend rescue looked way better when i drew it 💔💔.

bourdon’s hands also might act a bit odd, my apologies. the sizing ingame is SUPER inconsistent (why is one of the hands SMALLER than the other????). once i’m able to actually test the mod, i’ll try to fix it wauaua.

the 3 custom sprites are for the triplets! i ended up making two versions for each, one that follows the ingame art, and one with my personal designs for them. i like my own designs for them, but they’re a lot easier to tell apart? so if you want to use the ones that fit the gimmick better, they’re also in the drive 👍

this update. was originally going to have way more custom art. i’ve actually got an act 6 siffrin enemy asset in my art program! but school started and i decided it’d be better to just get the normal stuff done. so the mod can actually come out in a reasonable timeframe. promise that’ll all come out Later! sorry about the wait 😓😓😓

also adding this because i almost forgot: no i don’t know if these are compatible with sasasaap. i don’t have the game still and it’s not my main priority atm, apologies!

okay! that was a lot! and there’s a ton of art down here! thank you for reading all this, i’ll be back with the game over animations and teleport map pretty soon! like. within the weekend. enjoy!!!

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

HEY! Just because I am now 20 I think having something to kind of re establish boundaries would be good! Considering the ones I put all those times ago have changed :D GENERAL RULES! Do not be racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, or discriminatory against anyone for any reason. Please if someone is calling you out for things you have done or said, please self-reflect and take the proper steps to change or remove yourself from the community. If you see something you do not like, and it IS MADE WORSE BY BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT, THEN IGNORE IT! Bringing attention to problems that just arent really problems with either the community or me in general are not worth it! Please use common sense when thinking about what/what not to engage with! I personally wish that people in the community do NOT engage with people who just obviously do not like me! Chances are they want a reaction from it so it is MUCH better to just not argue with someone whos mind you will not change! ALLOW CRITICISM OF ME AND MY CONTENT! IF YOU DONT AGREE OR DONT LIKE THEN DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT!!!! ALL IT WILL DO IS CAUSE UNESSICARY DRAMA!!! DO NOT make ANY comments or content about me that is explicitly sexual. I completely understand that lately there have been bits due to the changes in how I’ve been presenting myself and how I’ve been presenting more femininely, but that does not allow anyone to use that as an excuse to sexualize any features and such that are more feminine or masculine. Remember that femininity is not sexual and should not be seen or created as such just because its there! (for example, the Vtuber costume and chat being overly weird over the added boobs where there was no need for it). DO NOT draw me in ways that are sexual either, such as highlighting any aspects in a sexual way, or making the content something sexual. I am completely okay with being drawn as any body type, masculine presenting or feminine presenting, as long as you stick to this! PLEASE DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! Making jokes about certain topics CAN be fine, but a line is crossed when it becomes a legitimate speculation or if a joke is said when I have expressed my discomfort! RESPECT MY FRIENDS!!! All of my friends are their own, incredible people. And they do not deserve to be lumped in or referred to as JUST "my friend". Be respectful in their chats even when im not there, and be respectful to all of them everywhere else! IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE LISTEN!!! There has been a lot of times in which I have seen people be unwilling to change in the face of a genuine discussion, and that is not something I want in the community! I should NOT have to police every single thing because it should NOT take me saying something in order to change your mind! As my words are not worth more or less when it comes to a lot of subjects! And lastly, do good. Whenever you have the ability to. BE POSITIVE!!! The hater mindset is very draining and can be very toxic to both you and the people around you, so highlight the good instead of the bad if you have the ability to! I am so incredibly proud of how far this community has come, and I cannot wait for the future!!! I have spent some time writing this, but it may not be perfect, so I will update this as time goes on and I think of more, or if something needs to be SUPER cleared up, but for now these are the main ones! I will NOT be updating this after every little thing however, as I do not want you guys to feel like the only way that something is wrong is if I talk about it! As you guys should be able to sustain yourself as a community without my consistent input! Imma go enjoy my birthday by eating a pizza :) thank you all!

[sooniebby]

ఌ 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐄

w.c › 6k

Warnings › faceclaims. Part 1. Slow burn, some slight romance with Hyojin (but Mingi is still the main love interest).

Plot › you begin to learn just how obsessive Mingi is

Words to know › maknae (막내) — youngest. Hyung (형) — a term a younger male with call an older male.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Four Years Ago

“They’re going to add another member. To fill a gap, they feel that you guys another need main vocalist.”

When Dawon had told Mingi and the others that, it was like hell broke loose. They all couldn’t believe that the company really believed they weren’t good enough, after all that training.

Hyojin, however, didn’t see the problem with it. He could actually understand where the company was coming from—even if he did hate them for other reasons.

He didn’t think the others couldn’t sing but there was something he felt was missing. A more mature voice—sultry he’d say.

Which was why when everyone met you, he could understand why the company put you in the group. You were the package deal, minus rapping, but that was okay. And while he’d never tell Yohan, you were a much better leader than he could ever be.

So he was a bit upset for you when the other members were set on ignoring you.

The group was finally filming for their debut single. It was a school boy concept, young love and all that. Hyojin didn’t care too much about that. As long as the song was good and he wasn’t forced to make garbage music, he was fine.

“Okay, guys, we’re going to do pairs for this shot,” Gaeul said, getting the boys attentions. “The director said the pairs don’t matter. So, you guys can pick.”

Hyojin didn’t have to put two and two together that it would get awkward fast if they got to who would be forced to pair with you.

So, he eagerly stood up from his seat, “I’ll pair with (Name)-Ssi.” He said, fixing the tie to his uniform. He ignored the glances the others gave him as he looked over at you.

You were staring at him with a shocked face before a wide grin pulled on your lips, “Okay.”

Hyojin smiled slightly. He moved to follow you to the shooting area when he caught a glimpse of Mingi. His eyes widen as he saw Mingi staring at him as if he wanted to murder him. The boy was picking at his pants as he glared at him.

Who knew someone so young could make such a scary face?

Though he didn’t understand why Mingi seemed so angry? Did he.. want to pair with you?

That didn’t make any sense—he didn’t exactly talk to you.

Oh well, Hyojin had other things to worry about.

He was a bit awkward for the camera so he wasn’t having the best of time filming. The amount of times the director told him to not look like he’s having a war flashback was too many to count.

The set was a bedroom, stuff randomly around. This director had wanted it to feel a bit more real and only gave you and Hyojin the direction to act like students who were discussing how to confess to their crush.

Hyojin didn’t know how the fuck he was supposed to do that but you seemed to understand.

Once the camera began to roll, you basically stole the scene with ease. Acting cute seemed like second nature to you. Hyojin just followed whatever you did, letting you lead him.

Just as the scene was about to end, you both sat on the bed as you opened a fake note. Hyojin leaned in to see that there was a little stick figure drawing, causing him to crack a slight smile.

He glanced over and felt himself freeze, your face close to his. You were staring at him with eyes he couldn’t really describe. A soft gaze as a slight smile pulled on your lips.

Did they put lipstick on your—

“Cut!”

“Great job, guys!” Gaeul said, walking over to you two. You easily pulled away as Hyojin tried to think about what just happened.

“Thanks for pairing with me, Hyojin-Ssi.” You said, smiling at him. The rest of the sentence didn’t need to be said.

“I wanted to pair with you… uhm, you don’t need to speak so politely with me.” He said, deciding to bridge the gap.

Your eyes widen before you eagerly nodded, “okay. Call me Hyung then, Jinnie.”

Jinnie?

Oh man, you were too cute.

Gaeul coughed, clapping her hands together, “great, you two are cute! But c’mon, you guys need to film a quick video for the vlog the Dawon is making.”

You and Hyojin joined the other members back in the dressing room. Dawon was holding a camera as he motioned for the group to stand up and start the intro. You stood in the middle as Hyojin stood on your left while a disgruntled Yohan on your right.

It seemed like Yohan wouldn’t like you at all… or anyone besides Hyojin for that matter.

Every member immediately got their camera ready persona on as you smiled, ready to start the introduction when someone stopped you.

“Ah, Hong (Name)-Ssi, you shouldn’t smile, it’ll go against the boyfriend image we have for you,” one of the producers said, causing you to freeze.

Another one hummed in agreement, “and maybe angle your head a bit to left, your face looks better on camera that way.”

Gaeul let out a grunt, “uh, thanks… but I’m his manager.. I can handle the group.”

“Well, handle him better.”

You ignored the questioning stares the members gave you as you dropped your smile. Hyojin wanted to say something back but he was a rookie—he had no power over the people funding their debut.

He could only watch as the light in your eyes practically went out from their berating. From that moment, he could easily tell there was a different set of standards you had to meet compared to the others.

From then on, he was going to help you, in anyway he can.

That’s why he’s your favorite… right?

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

You wanted to die.

At age twenty five you came like a teenage boy right in front of your maknae.

How embarrassing.

You grabbed your pillow and let out a loud scream, wanting to just close your eyes and never wake up. Mingi was taking a shower and you were scared he’d come into your room later.

There was no way in hell you wanted to see him again tonight.

Maybe tomorrow.

Or a few weeks.

You glanced over at your phone and stared at it for a few minutes. Maybe some posts from those freaky Miras would make you appreciate life again. Or something like that. Whatever bullshit idea you could come up with to justify you still going to the NSFW side of your fandom.

Now that you knew about the rise of gay/bisexual men into you, you wondered if you could find any.

Your biggest fan account, itsokokok had recently posted so decided to see if maybe they were congregating in the replies.

The new three posts of today was from three hours ago. It was from three different album promotions.

The first was from debut: it was a short clip of you in the music video. Your duo scene with Hyojin. You didn’t remember just how cute you acted in it, really playing up the teen boy being in love.

You checked the comments, many filled with people that weren’t Miras. Most of it was just guys saying you were really cute but in a natural way.

Second was of your performance from… pre debut? Huh, how did they find this? You looked to be maybe fifteen—a performance from your high school’s talent show. The video was of you dressed in a suit and tie performing A.D.T.O.Y by 2pm.

Quite the song for fetus you to be performing but hey, none of the adults stopped you.

It seemed the comments did have morals and mostly just complimented your ability to sing and dance at the same time. Though a few wanted you to preform the dance now… probably to thirst over you.

Lastly, the third video was one year old, a short clip of the music video for your second to last comeback. You didn’t know how they could thirst over this but you clicked on the video.

You were wet in the video, standing in front of a swimming pool. Dressed in a white button up and black slacks. The white shirt was stuck to your skin as you delivered your line, tugging at the loose tie around your neck.

At the time, you didn’t find the whole aspect of being wet on camera a bad thing. The song was about drowning in your feelings so being wet made sense.

Though you now regretted it.

@bluemuuun

↳ need him bad… don’t even know his name

@hanniesmira

↳ you don’t know Miracle?! Hong (Name) from Miracle? Dude you’re missing out, they have great songs

@bluemuuun

↳ I’m not even into kpop, I just want to fuck him ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

@slipslickk

↳ he looks good wet—I need one of his members to fuck him on stage already pls

@dohasflatass

↳ wonder if Min collapsed after seeing (Name) during shooting ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

@hanniesmira

↳ knowing min, he probably threatened anyone who stared for too long ㅎㅎㅎ

@hyunkikii

↳ Mrcle definitely take turns on his ass, got a phatty for real

@hyoojinie

↳ his gaze into the camera is so slutty

Just as you were about to log out, you came across an older post itsokokok posted. It was of your early debut. One of the stage performances. It followed you dancing with a stoic face right when it was your center turn until it was Yohan’s turn.

As soon as the main camera was off you, a wide smile pulled on your lips as you danced along. Whenever it was your turn to sing, you immediately dropped the smile.

You were mostly following the orders the company gave you. Being the stoic boyfriend.

Nowadays you stopped caring but back then you were so scared of being taken out of the group that you followed whatever the company told you.

The comments were filled with comments of Miras, a few stating they missed this side of you. If only they knew that it wasn’t the real you. You scrolled through the comments before seeing one by itsokokok himself.

He was responding to someone saying they loved you when acted stoic, and hating this new ‘fake’ you.

→ then you don’t know the true him

You sat up, staring at the comment for a moment. Itsokokok didn’t seem to really comment. He had little to none captions and just posted once everyday at random times, possibly whenever he was free. It wasn’t even anything too crazy but the comment oddly felt like he knew you?

Well, probably not. He might’ve just noticed that you were putting on an act due to your pre-debut activities. It was a drastic difference if you paid any attention.

Speaking of, how did he find any of your pre-debut stuff? You tried to think if you maybe posted them yourself or maybe your classmates or something.

Maybe your mom? She loved posting videos of your performances on her Instagram. She even gained a lot of followers because of it. Her account was basically a fan account at this point.

He might’ve just found the pre-debut performances she posted, it’s not like she’s hiding it.

You shrugged. It wasn’t too creepy. He seemed to actually appreciate you.

And that’s all you can really ask for in a fan.

“Hyung.”

You blushed and quickly turned off your phone. Mingi stepped into your room, rubbing at his face as he got on your bed. You simply watched him get comfortable before glancing over at you.

“You’re so stiff.” He said, a slight smirk on his lips. “Are you scared I’ll eat you in your sleep?”

“Mingi!” You bristled, quickly turning off your lamp as you got underneath your covered. You kept your back to him as you tried to drown out his laugh.

It was silent after a minute. You glanced back to see him fast asleep. That was fast.

Staring at him, you wondered how much he’s changed. He wasn’t seventeen anymore.

Maybe he really did love you…

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

“Solo activity?”

Your group mates were looking at you in shock. It had been almost a month since Gaeul had told you about your change in marketing and now the company finally has something for you. Your solo stage.

They were all in your apartment, getting comfy on the couch when you suddenly came out ready to leave. Everyone had been practicing daily for the comeback that they had planned for a relaxed day today.

“Yeah.” You said, feeling a bit nervous. “Did.. Dawon Hyung forget to tell you guys?”

“Oh, yeah, he did.” Yohan muttered.

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” Doha said, glancing back at the tv. You wanted to ask what he meant by that but then Yohan delivered a swift kick to Doha’s shin.

“Have you been practicing before us then?” Kihyun suddenly asked. “You’re already prepared to perform it?”

“Mhm… I’ve been practicing daily after our recording sessions.” You bit your lip. “It’s an easy song to learn.”

“Ah okay,” Yohan said, speaking for the others who were just staring at you. “Do you want one of us to come with?”

“Come—? Uh, uhm.” Your eyes gazed at them in disbelief. They wanted to come? Why did it feel like they were attached to your hip these days?

Mingi rolled his eyes, coming out from the kitchen. “(Name) Hyung doesn’t need someone with him. He’s not a baby.”

“You’re just jealous he might not choose you,” Doha shot back, smirking at the deadly glare Mingi sent his way.

“Ah, I guess I could bring one of you guys,” you said, causing them to perk up immediately. Their eyes stared right into your soul. You felt your hands sweat as you tried to think about who to choose.

No way would you choose Mingi… he was making you uncomfortable these days. The way he gazes at you like you’re his entire world is insane!

Yohan would be too annoying.

Kihyun would be a bit awkward.

Doha was being annoying to Mingi and you didn’t want reward his behavior.

Your gaze narrowed in on Hyojin. His eyes met yours as a slight grin pulled on his lips. That’s all he needed as he stood up with a triumphant smile. The others immediately groaned and shook their heads in annoyance.

Hyojin moved to follow you out the door when Mingi suddenly grabbed his arm. You almost yelled at Mingi for his aggressive behavior but Hyojin didn’t look shocked at all.

Mingi whispered something while Hyojin rolled his eyes.

“Childish.” He said, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I won’t touch what’s yours. You should worry about Yohan Hyung instead.”

“What? Yah, what are you talking about?!” Yohan yelled, glancing over at Mingi.

You stood there mouth agape. Mingi didn’t… no way he wouldn’t.. Hyojin grabbed your hand before you could properly spiral and lead you out of the apartment.

Just what the hell was Mingi’s problem?

Hyojin didn’t see you romantically, what is he worrying about?

Once you reached the music show, you were quickly dressed in an outfit to match the song you were performing. It was business casual, apparently.

Hyojin sat on the couch as the stylist helped you get dressed. He was silent for the most part, tapping away on his phone. It was another reason why you chose him. He wasn’t an annoying little shit like the rest of them.

“Jinnie,” you called, fixing the fake glasses on your face. “How does Hyung look?”

It took a minute before he finally glanced up. His eyes widen as he took you in. You were dressed in a white button up, sleeves rolled up with a loose black tie. Black slacks with sleek black dress shoes.

“It reminds me of something I wore before,” you laughed, tugging at the tie as you looked over at him.

Hyojin coughed, the tip of his ears getting red as he mutely nodded. “Mhm… you make it so hard, Hyung.”

“Hm?” You tilted your head, walking over to him as you plopped down beside him on the couch.

“I think Mingi will be upset if I told you… but everyone in the group has.. liked you.”

“Liked me? Like…”

“Romantically.” Hyojin said, smiling slightly. “But Mingi had stronger feelings for you.”

“So what… did he.. did he tell you guys to back off or something?” You asked, still reeling from the fact your members liked you. The thought seemed ludicrous!

“Yeah.” Hyojin said bluntly. “Something like that.”

You raised an eyebrow, “what did he do?”

“Secret.”

“Hyojin.”

“Mhmmm, I can’t remember.”

You glared at him as he went back to his phone. “I don’t understand. You guys really liked me..? How? Why?”

Hyojin shrugged. “I don’t know about the rest of them.. but I just liked you for you. But it wasn’t the strongest feelings.”

The strongest… You briefly wondered about Kihyun. Maybe he had stronger feelings for Kihyun?

But before you could ask, a staff member called for you. Hyojin gave you a thumbs up as you got up and left.

While you were nervous, you weren’t exactly nervous to preform on stage alone. You’ve always performed alone before debuting in Miracle.

The month you spent practicing for the song was a breeze. It was a song that took inspiration from a past song you composed. The choreographer didn’t go all out with the dance.

Though what you were really nervous about was if people would actually care.

What if the so called growing interest in you deflated immediately?

You shook your head, walking onto stage. A group of six dancers followed you. The crowed actually cheered a bit when you came on. There was a few Miracle lightsticks. But immediately, a group of male voices rung out in the building.

Everyone seemed shocked at how loud they were, even the dancers as they got into position. You couldn’t help but grin and eagerly wave at them.

“귀여! ♡♡♡♡!”

“Thank you!” You said into your mic, laughing at the immediate screams from the crowd. You walked to your position, letting the dancers grab your waist as they pulled you to sit on two of their arms—a makeshift throne.

The lights dimmed as you got ready to perform. You tried to remember all the times you performed alone and channeled the energy of younger you.

While you would dance, you would focus mostly on having great vocals. This song was a taste into the title track, you needed to show a great intro.

The performance started with a slight hiccup when the back track started before you but you continued as if nothing happened. It allowed for your vocals to truly show anyway.

The major part of the song that seemed to get most of the crowd excited was when one of the dancers grabbed your tie and tugged you towards him. You couldn’t help the slight blush during that part, feeling oddly excited over it as well.

Was this a kink?

You ended the oddly homoerotic song with the dancers kneeling in front of you, your hand digging into one of the men’s hair.

Cheers erupted as soon as you were finished. You felt excited, hearing mostly male voices scream your name. The dancers immediately stood up and grabbed you, lifting you up in the air as you shrieked in shock. Your arms immediately wrapped around one of their shoulders at the sudden movement.

If only you knew just how angry this little action would make a certain someone.

The drive home felt long for some reason. Hyojin was on his phone so you decided to check how Miras were doing.

Not too surprising, not that many Miras talked about the performance. However non fans were praising it. Itsokokok had posted.

It was three posts, seems like he had a pattern. The first was of your recent performance. A short video of the moment when the dancer pulled your tie. Your face didn’t hide any of the hidden pleasure you got from that short moment.

During practice, the pull was never harsh so it really did shock you when he tugged it harder this time around.

Of course, the comments were filled with people thirsting. Mostly non fans—gay men in particular. The same Miras that actually liked you were thirsting over you while also gushing at how you finally had a solo activity.

Shocker, the NSFW side that talked about your members fucking you actually appreciated you.

The next post was of a pre-debut one. This time, it was a nineteen year old you preforming an original song. It was the song the company used to create the solo song you just preformed.

Most of the comments didn’t seem to notice this at all. You were mainly shocked the account owner even found this clip.

Lastly, it was a clip from the group’s occasional vlog. From the setting, it was of the time the group was planning Mingi’s nineteenth birthday. You were kneeling down as you picked something up.

The camera was just on you as you arched your back by pure instinct. You don’t even remember doing that. A laugh was heard from the camera man, you quickly noticed it was Yohan filming before video you looked back and glared at Yohan.

“Go do something useful!” You had yelled, “Minnie’s party has to be good. I won’t let you ruin it.”

@bluemuuun

↳ does his back naturally arch like that??

@hanniesmira

↳ his relationship with min is so cute.. i bet today’s performance killed min ㅋㅋㅋ

Before you could read the rest, the van reached the apartment complex. You and Hyojin left as you got inside. Hyojin waved you good night before going into his shared apartment with Kihyun.

You wondered back to his claim of the members all liking you.

That just didn’t make any sense.

As you moved to unlock the door to your apartment, it swung open, showing a pissed Mingi.

Fuck.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

“How was the performance?”

Hyojin glanced over at Kihyun. He had just walked in and was set on just speed walking straight to his bedroom. Kihyun was sitting in the couch and didn’t look away from the tv.

“It was good, Hyung is a good performer.” Hyojin muttered, slipping off his shoes. He slipped off his coat and slowly walked over to the living room.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Well… I’ll go to bed—”

“Hyojin.”

Hyojin sighed, looking back at Kihyun. Kihyun was finally looking over at him. His piercing gaze made his back tense. The slight hums of the tv filled the odd tension as Hyojin fought the urge to just walk away. It was too late to be dealing with this.

“Are you… still upset about what I said this morning?” Kihyun finally said, his gaze softening.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kihyun stood up from the couch as he walked over to Hyojin. “I didn’t think it would upset you… I thought you were over him.”

Hyojin felt his jaw tighten, “you might’ve gotten over Hyung easily but I actually liked him. I liked him a lot—I only backed off because Mingi was right, (Name) Hyung would never see me romantically.”

“So… what’s the problem? Aren’t we—?”

“—dating?” Hyojin pinched his nose before letting out a sigh. “I don’t know, are we? You only want to have sex, nothing else. Even if we are ‘dating’—I won’t allow you to speak about my past feelings as if they were trivial.

“(Name) Hyung is an important part of my life, especially because he’s still here. It’d be different if he wasn’t around anymore. So I’m sorry, Hyung, my feelings for (Name) Hyung wasn’t some three second attraction like yours… If two years ago, (Name) Hyung had returned my feelings in anyway… I’d never have gotten with you.”

Kihyun sighed, “I didn’t mean it that way, Hyojin… I didn’t realize you had liked him that much. I—”

“Hyung.” Hyojin interrupted him. “Come back to me once you figure out if you want to be boyfriends or just fuck buddies. I’m not breaking myself over another guy.”

With that, he walked into his room, slamming the door shut.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

Mingi immediately tugged you inside and glared at you. “What type of solo stage was that?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, moving to walk to your room. Mingi was already following you as you tried to keep yourself calm.

You were older! You’re the group leader… he needs to.. he can’t treat you like this.

Especially over a simple performance.

“Hyung.” Mingi’s voice was tight. “We’ve never performed a song like that before—the company never allowed it.”

“Well they’re just trying something new with me. They’ve finally noticed a group of people they can advertise me to. I can..” you placed your bag on your bed and sighed, “I can gain some fans that actually care about me.”

“Fans? Is that all you care about? What about the music?”

“Mingi, obviously I care about the music!” You said, staring at him as he stood in your doorway. “But it’s normal to want positive feedback from sharing your art! You get it all the time, I’ve seen how Miras react to you.”

“So what, you’ll feed into the silly relationship the company uses to get people’s money?!”

You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “Mingi, it’s not that serious. I’ve always wanted to do a sexy concept anyway—no one forced me.”

As you glanced back at him, any anger you had tempered down. You couldn’t be mad at him—not for long anyway. “I get it… you’re just worried but I consented to everything.” You muttered, hoping that would calm him down.

“So you consented to be whored out for some fans that only like you because they want to fuck you?”

You blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

A laugh left your lips as you stared straight at Mingi.

“Choi Mingi.” You whispered, your gaze hardening as your fists clenched. The words you wanted to say was in the tip of your tongue and if you weren’t so angry—you would’ve held back.

But you didn’t.

“Remember your place.” You said, walking over to him. “I am your Hyung, not your boyfriend. I’m not yours and you can’t act so possessive over me, do you understand? I don’t know what you told the others but it’s not your right to tell them to back off.”

“You—?”

“Yes I know! I’m not your boyfriend and I won’t ever be your boyfriend!” You yelled, pushing Mingi out of your room, causing him to bang his head right against the wall. He stared at you in shock as you froze. Any anger you had was gone as you wanted to rush and check if he was okay.

But you couldn’t.

You shouldn’t.

You cleared your throat as you glanced down at the ground. Your throat felt tight. “Choi Mingi, I don’t think you really love me… because if you did, you wouldn’t have insulted me to my face.”

A pained whimper left your throat as you quickly looked away from Mingi. “I’ll go… spend tonight with Hyojin. Don’t.. don’t bother me.. please.” You whispered, moving to leave as quickly as you could.

A hand gripped your arm before you could even step an inch away. Your body tensed as you waited to see what Mingi would say. He didn’t feel like that boy you knew… how much had he changed?

You reluctantly glanced back to see what he was going to say only to see him kneel down. Your eyes widen as he pressed his head against the floor, hands resting on the ground.

“죄송합니다. 죄송합니다, 형.”

“Mingi…” You whispered. You slowly knelt down and gripped at Mingi’s shoulders, pushing to make him sit up but he fought against you. He kept repeating himself, his words slowly being muffled by the sound of his gasps.

“Mingi. Choi Mingi.” With his refusal to look up, you decided to try a different method. “I’ll leave.. I’ll go to Hyojin if you don’t look at me.”

You got whiplash at how quick he looked up. Your gaze softening at the sight of his face. His eyes were red as tears streamed down his face, his face blotchy and red already. He kept gasping for air as if crying so hard was taking his breath away.

Despite yourself, you remembered the only other time he cried so hard in front of you.

“Childish. You really are childish.” You whispered, wiping away at his face. His body physically loosened at your touch as he leaned into it. Though you could tell he wasn’t coming any closer, even if his hands twitched to touch you.

It didn’t look like he was in the capacity to speak so you decided to do it for him.

“I’m upset, Mingi. I’m so upset you would hurt me like this. Were you jealous? Why would you say that about me?”

Mingi shook his head.

“Then why did you say that? What could you have possibly meant?”

“Scared..” he managed to mutter, taking a second to take a deep breath. “You’re… older… I’m… younger… the.. dancer… older… what if… what if you want an older man…? What if… you’ll leave me… because he’s better..”

You blinked, staring at him confusion. “Mingi, that’s so silly.” You whispered, cooing when he tried to glare at you—it didn’t pack a punch with his face wet with tears. “You were insecure and that’s okay… but that was not the way to go about it. Are you scared that… I’ll leave you if I get more fans?”

He hummed. “You… might… leave the group.”

“Why would I? You have solo activities but you don’t want to leave the group. I can have solo activities too. I like our group. You’re really acting your age, Mingi.”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as he immediately began to try and pull away. You pulled him back in quickly as you brought his face to yours.

“Next time, if you’re feeling a certain way, you can.. voice it? Instead of talking down on me, okay?” You said, giving him a slight smile. “But I’m happy you immediately apologized. I didn’t think you would do that.”

Mingi sniffled, finally sitting up straight. “It’s because I—”

You clamped his mouth shut, a blush on your face. Mingi only rolled his eyes. Even when he was sad he had the strength to roll his eyes. Wow.

Despite yourself, the previous anger wasn’t as strong anymore. You didn’t think you would be so easy to forgive but you were. Was it because he apologized? He seemed so sincere that you knew it wasn’t a joke—Mingi can’t cry on command, he’s tried many times.

Surprisingly only Kihyun could.

He… he really loved you?

“Minnie,” you said, unable to hide the smile at his eager gaze from hearing his nickname. “Is it true… that you told the other members to back off?”

Mingi frowned before he silently nodded.

“Why….?”

He pulled your hand away from his mouth as he looked away. “They didn’t love you like I do. It was just simple infatuation…”

“How could you be so sure?”

Mingi raised an eyebrow, “Hyung, I’ve trained with them since I was fourteen… I’ve known them longer than you do. Besides, it’s not like they fought me on it… well not all of them.”

“All of them…? Did…?”

“One person disagreed.”

“Who?”

“Secret.”

“Mingi.”

“Ah, I can’t really remember.”

“You and Hyojin are the same, little shits.” You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “But still, that was wrong of you. You shouldn’t mess with anyone else’s feelings.”

Mingi looked as if he wanted to talk back but simply nodded. “Okay… it was two years ago anyway.”

“Two years ago?”

“Mhm. On my nineteenth birthday.”

“Ah.”

You wanted to ask more but it looked like Mingi was done talking. He rubbed at his eyes as he began wiping at his tear stained face. While you weren’t angry anymore, you still weren’t exactly so forgiving without any work on Mingi’s part.

“Minnie,” you said, watching as he perked up. “I’m still mad… so you can’t touch me at all for a month.”

His eyes widen as he stared at you as if you just told him his parents died in a plane crash. His lips wobbled as a pained grunt left him, he was obviously trying to plead a case but the rational part of him knew not to push it.

He looked as if he’d cry again.

You only smiled. “Punishment for calling your Hyung a whore. I think I’m being quite nice, don’t you think?”

Mingi squared his jaw. “Yes, Hyung…”

“Good boy.” You whispered, smirking at his pained expression. “You can’t sleep with me tonight, unless you want to sleep on the floor. Night, Minnie.”

Mingi was going to have a tough month.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

→ have you guys seen this performance??

→ 씨발! If I had a dick it’d be hard ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

→ who is this???

→ he sounds so good??

→ wish I could pay attention to the lyrics but his ass is distracting me

→ 대박! He sounds so stable

→ I found his group performances!!! Why is he so underrated??

→ does he have any other solo work?

→ my dick hard

→ the group sings so well, I’ll tune in for their comeback!!

→ his photo cards are cheap!! I’ll buy a dozen ㅋㅋㅋ

→ I think I came

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

Three years ago

Mingi was confused. He saw so many fan accounts for other members. Way too many for himself—he didn’t get what was so special about him. But little to none accounts solely for you. The group had debuted a year ago, surely someone likes you enough to create an account?

He sighed, scrolling through the lists of popular Miras accounts. Why weren’t they praising you? You were the best, a great singer, dancer, and leader.

Was it because you didn’t fit the Korean beauty standards?

How stupid.

Mingi didn’t care about what fans thought of him so long as they liked the music—but it seemed to bother you that no one was giving you any attention.

So, he decided to rectify that.

It took him a minute but he soon figured out how to create an account.

He chose his profile picture—a picture from the group’s season greetings, one where you had frosting on your nose as you smiled at the camera.

He’d never use social media before so his generic names for the account were all taken. He didn’t know what else to name the stupid account as, it was just so he could post pictures and videos of you.

After a short break before he mentally crashed out, he decided on a different name.

Itsokokok

It was a lyric from the group’s debut title track. Your first line of the song. Not many people would probably know but that was fine with him. The account was honestly mainly for him.

He didn’t know what his first post should be so he decided on a picture he took of you. Luckily he had posted it on the group’s Instagram so no one would think anything of it. It was a candid photo, you were looking up from your phone because he had called your name. You looked so cute despite how tired you were.

His first ever picture of you was his first ever post.

Shit, he was down bad.

no smut this time, sorry yall, but chapter three will give yall what’s deserved, next week Friday. Trying something different with this OC. Anyway, next chapter, he’s about to get freaky. Also can you guess who was the member that refused Mingi’s request? ;)

죄송합니다 — is the most formal way to say sorry in Korean

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