#I wanted to be a mutant so bad (cause I felt like I didn't belong anyway- may as well have powers!... Surprise- AuDHD BITCH)

[amischiefofmuses]

Still losing my mind a little over the fact that Wade is in the Original X-men animated (even if only for a moment) and that I probably saw at least this glimpse of him as a kid- Oh young me, you had no idea he would be very significant in your teen years and then TAKE OVER YOUR GODDAMN LIFE AGAIN as an adult.

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, John Egbert

Act 5, page 2928-2941

CG: YOU MADE AN UNBEATABLE BOSS IS WHAT YOU DID.

CG: THE IDIOT YOU CALL THE JADE HUMAN WENT AHEAD AND PROTOTYPED HER FREAK OF A LUSUS, WHILE YOU DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP FOR SOME REASON RATHER THAN DOING WHAT A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO DO AND STOP HER FROM BEING SO FUCKING RETARDED.

CG: YOUR VERSION OF JACK, WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW DUMB ENOUGH TO ENTRUST WITH THE QUEEN'S RING, BECAME ESSENTIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE.

CG: HE THEN WENT ON A RAMPAGE THROUGH YOUR POINTLESS SESSION, WHICH HILARIOUSLY, WAS ALREADY A LOST CAUSE EVEN BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!

CG: I AM JUST BESIDE MYSELF WITH THE SPECTACULAR BREADTH OF YOUR FAILURE.

CG: AND IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH

CG: YOUR "SOLUTION" LATER WOULD BE TO OPEN A RIFT IN SOME GLORIOUS GESTURE OF MEANINGLESS SUICIDE.

CG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW

CG: BUT THE RIFT YOU OPENED ENABLED HIM TO ENTER OUR SESSION, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO CLAIM OUR PRIZE.

CG: AND NOW WE'RE THE ONES WHO TO FUCKING DEAL WITH HIM!

CG: SO THANKS A LOT, SHIT HEAD.

EB: jade prototyped a lusus?

EB: what's that?

CG: OH

CG: OK, MY BAD, I FORGOT I WAS TALKING TO A MEMBER OF A GENERICALLY BIZARRE ALIEN SPECIES.

CG: I GUESS SOME HUMANS HAVE A LUSUS, WHILE OTHERS DON'T? WHATEVER.

CG: HER LUSUS IS THE CREATURE WHICH SERVES AS HER CUSTODIAN.

EB: oh, you mean her dog!

CG: I GUESS

EB: so, she prototyped becquerel?

EB: why is that so bad?

CG: JOHN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?

CG: IS THIS HOW HUMAN FRIENDSHIP WORKS? YOU JUST DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER?

CG: HER LUSUS EXHIBITS THE PROPERTIES OF A LEGENDARY ENTITY CALLED A FIRST GUARDIAN.

CG: IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITY.

EB: what properties?

CG: OK, FOR STARTERS, NOTICE HOW THE FURIOUS WALL OF FIRE CURRENTLY RUSHING TOWARD YOU IS TURNING GREEN?

EB: uh oh...

CG: YEAH

CG: THOSE FUCKING PROPERTIES.

CG: BUT IT'S A LOT MORE THAN THAT.

CG: AS THE DEFENDERS OF THEIR PLANETS, THEY'RE VIRTUALLY OMNIPOTENT.

CG: PROTOTYPING ONE IS ABSOLUTELY UNCONSCIONABLE.

CG: THE RESULT IS A BOSS A HELL OF A LOT WORSE THAN WHAT WE HAD TO FIGHT, AND WE PROTOTYPED TWELVE TIMES RATHER THAN A MEASLY FOUR.

CG: AND ONE OF OUR PROTOTYPINGS INCLUDED AN OUTER FUCKING GOD THE SIZE OF A CITY!

CG: I HOPE THIS PUTS IN PERSPECTIVE HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE.

EB: huh...

EB: yeah, it kind of does.

EB: i'm sorry karkat, i didn't realize we screwed up so bad.

CG: ALRIGHT WELL

CG: I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO MAN UP AND APOLOGIZE FOR IT, SO OK I'LL GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR THAT.

CG: BUT IT'S NOT STOPPING ME FROM DETESTING YOU AND IT SURE AS FUCK ISN'T GOING TO DERAIL THIS RUNAWAY HATE TRAIN, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

EB: oh, yeah, i know.

EB: you're really gonna tear me apart!

EB: i just feel kind of bad i fell asleep, i don't know what came over me.

EB: maybe i ate too much lasagna.

CG: HEY, INOPPORTUNE NAPS HAPPEN IN THIS GAME.

CG: EXCEPT TO ME, BEING THE STALWART MODEL OF LEADERSHIP I AM.

CG: I MANAGED TO STAY AWAKE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS STRAIGHT, I DIDN'T WANT TO LET MY GUARD DOWN FOR A SECOND.

CG: BUT THEN

CG: AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER, AND WE RETREATED IN FAILURE

CG: I FOOLISHLY DID.

CG: AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW HIM.

EB: who?

CG: JACK.

CG: I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM WHEN HE FIRST APPEARED.

CG: BUT ON PROSPIT, I SAW HIM UP CLOSE, WITHOUT ALL THAT RIDICULOUS GREEN SHIT OBSCURING HIM.

CG: I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE IT WAS REALLY HIM BY THE WAY HE LOOKED, BUT I JUST KNEW.

CG: HE WAS WEARING A RING I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE, CERTAINLY NOT ONE BELONGING TO OUR QUEENS.

CG: WE DESTROYED THOSE.

CG: HE WORE IT ON HIS ONE HAND, WHICH WAS COVERED IN OUR MUTANT BLOOD.

CG: AND THEN

CG: JUST LIKE THAT

CG: HE KILLED ME

CG: AND I GUESS

CG: EVEN THOUGH IT WAS PROBABLY JUST HIS WAY OF SAYING HI

CG: I STILL FELT KIND OF BETRAYED.

EB: betrayed?

CG: YES JOHN. BETRAYED.

EB: um, ok.

CG: WHEN I WOKE UP, EVERYONE HERE WAS BUZZING ABOUT THESE ALIENS CALLED HUMANS.

CG: SO NATURALLY I'M LIKE WHO GIVES A SHIT, RIGHT?

CG: WELL, WRONG.

CG: I PRETTY QUICKLY DETERMINED THAT HE WAS FROM YOUR SESSION, NOT OURS.

CG: SO HE WASN'T REALLY "MY JACK"

CG: AND I WAS SORT OF RELIEVED

CG: RELIEVED BUT ALSO ENRAGED

CG: I'M SURE YOU KNOW THE FEELING.

EB: er...

EB: not really.

CG: ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, AND THAT'S WHY YOU ARE SUCH A DISGRACE.

CG: THIS IS PROBABLY THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER EXPLAIN ALL THIS STUFF TO YOU, BECAUSE I CAN'T IMAGINE IT WILL HELP MY HEADACHE MUCH TO REPEAT MYSELF.

CG: I BET IT'LL BE PRETTY FRUSTRATING FOR YOU IN THE PAST!

EB: i suppose it was...

EB: but meh, it is all water under the bridge.

EB: which is where trolls and their shenanigans belong!

CG: HA HA! I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT YOUR FUNNY FUCKING JOKE.

CG: I HOPE THIS IS THE CALIBER OF HUMOR I CAN EXPECT FROM YOU IN THE FUTURE-PAST, EGBERT.

CG: IT'LL BE A REAL TREAT TROLLING YOU WITH MORE OF THOSE NUB SLAPPERS TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

EB: oh, there will be lots of great material. just wait until i start handing out rabbits, you will love that.

CG: WOW, WHAT A CRYPTIC STATEMENT.

CG: CHECK THIS OUT, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

CG: ANYWAY, GUESS I'LL GET GOING AND LET YOU DIE IN YOUR FIRE, WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULD, BUT YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO FOR SOME REASON.

CG: I'VE GOT TO REWIND THE TAPE ON THIS CLUSTERFUCK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG.

EB: yeah, i should get going too.

EB: my friend is pestering me, and i doubt she likes to be kept waiting.

EB: (she is sort of the bossy type!)

CG: WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR DUMB HUMAN FRIEND AND HER PETULANT, MEANINGLESS DEMANDS.

CG: WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH ME.

EB: ummm...

EB: yeah, you're right, it is probably of no significance to you whatsoever.

EB: (hehehehe)

CG: A;SLDKJFSDLKFJS;LDJFLK;J

CG: HERE, JOHN HUMAN DIPSHIT.

CG: HAVE A SECOND AND PENULTIMATE FUCK YOU:

CG: "FUCK"

CG: "YOU"

CG: MAY IT MARK THE SECOND OF MANY TO COME, AND THE MAGNIFICENT DENOUEMENT TO MANY RECEIVED.

CG: TOGETHER WE JUST TUGGED AT THE BOW TO UNRAVEL A PRESENT FULL OF GO FUCK YOURSELF.

CG: HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY YOU UGLY PILE OF TRASH.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

[nifolution]

Forgive Me 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers / Mutant! Reader

Summary: Steve desperately wants to make everything better, but is it too little, too late?

Warnings: Angst, smut, heartbreak, jealousy, hostage situation, some fluff

A/N: This is a sequel to Dirty Secret. This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is still written in 1st & 3rd person. 18+ only due to smut. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Dirty Secret Masterlist Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

[2 months later]

Here we go again. Seeing the familiar figure quickly duck into the alley, Bucky can only shake his head as he leaves the restaurant with his order. Every time he left the compound, Steve tried to follow him, hoping he was on his way to meet Y/N.

After securing his meal to his motorcycle, Bucky called out to Steve, “You have to stop doing this, you're not good at it.” Steve appeared out of the shadows looking weary and dejected. It was clear he hadn't been taking care of himself. His clothes wrinkled, his beard untrimmed. Bucky turned to face him, “Besides that, it's pointless. Y/N isn't even in the country anymore.”

“So you do know where she is.”

Bucky exhaled sharply, “Steve…”

The blonde suddenly found his shoes fascinating. “I need her back, Buck… I can’t believe I screwed up so badly, losing her the way I did. It still feels like a bad dream. I wish to god it was. She belongs in my arms and I don’t think I'll ever know what possessed me to push her out of them.”

“You have no one to blame but yourself for that one. You dug your own grave and packed the dirt on too.” Bucky seated himself on his bike. “She deserved more than what you gave her. It shouldn't have taken losing her for you to get over your Carter obsession.”

Steve could only nod, giving his friend a broken look. “I'll see you at home.” He turned and started back the way he came.

Bucky wasn’t sure what else to say to his friend. Things were still tense between them. Both for how Steve treated Y/N, and for shutting him out the way he did. The punk got stuck in his own head and refused help. His stubbornness was always his downfall. If he would have just talked to him, maybe he could have gotten through his thick skull earlier, before Steve destroyed everything.

Y/N’s absence was felt heavily among the team. They all missed her. Not just her getaway skills, but her friendship. She was always kind to everyone, always willing to be there, helping anyway she could. She cared for all of them and that love was missed. None of the others knew the real reason for her sudden departure. It was a hard secret to keep, but Bucky continued at her request. She didn't want any of them to look at Steve differently. After everything he put her through, she still wanted what was best for Steve. And Steve, well Steve thought Y/N was what was best for him. If only he pulled his head out of his ass sooner.

Still, Bucky couldn't help pitying his friend. He hated seeing Steve hurting so badly, but it was the punk’s own dumb actions that caused this mess. Steve was his brother, but he fucked up. Maybe some pain was due. Steve had been sullen and isolating himself since Y/N left. He hasn’t spent much time training or with the team. Bucky knows he wasn’t sleeping well because he can hear him crying most nights. He wasn’t going to bring it up though, Steve has been blowing up over small things lately. He didn’t want to tip him over that edge of grief he was precariously balanced on.

---------------

The weeks passing did nothing to dampen the all consuming regret Steve felt. Forgoing his morning runs, he would just lay there staring at the ceiling. Tired and drained. If anyone on the team noticed, no one said anything. He was grateful for that much. Steve was certain he’d spill the whole thing with the smallest provocation. He preferred to keep his anguish to himself. His bed felt so cold without her in it. His whole life felt cold now. As he did so many times before, Steve pulled out a yellow garment from inside his pillowcase. It was the dress Y/N left behind. Blood stains now accompanying the grass ones from Steve kissing it after Bucky beat his face in. Steve held tightly to the fabric, imagining Y/N in his arms, her lips on his, willing his heart to stop beating so it would stop hurting.

He thinks of the last time he saw her. How stunning she looked, outshining everyone at the gala. But she was on Bucky's arm, not his as she should have been. Steve wishes he would have ran up to her like he wanted to. He would have swept her off her feet, kissed her breathless and danced the night away. Instead he forced himself to pay attention to Sharon, feeling a misplaced responsibility to her. That night played on repeat in his mind. He should have done so many things. He fucked up so bad.

---------------

Steve had been looking for Y/N since she left. Four months later and still no lock on her. She was like a ghost. Steve would constantly beg Bucky to tell him where she was. He had yet to budge. Only confirming that she was doing okay. Bucky was torn between friends. Him and Steve were getting back to a good place in the friendship. He wanted to help, but didn’t want to break Y/N’s confidence. Although his resolve on the matter was slowly chipping away.

When Steve loved he loved hard, and permanently. Bucky could only do so much to comfort his friend. He still had trouble understanding why Steve gave into Sharon. Why even for a moment he thought he was doing the right thing. But his friend was stubborn, and dumb enough to think he could have both. That Y/N would always be there. Steve lost someone special chasing after someone he thought he once wanted. So trapped in his nostalgia to not realize what he had until it was gone. At least he saw now that he had been taking her for granted. Should have appreciated what he had enough to not betray her the way he did. However unintentional he claimed it was. Y/N didn't deserve that pain.

Bucky remained close with Y/N. She seemed better each time he talked with her. She'd been traveling the world, site seeing. Her abilities saved her a fortune in transportation and entrance fees. Hotel rooms and meals too. She'd been staying at the best hotels for free. Orbing into empty rooms and raiding the well stocked mini bars. Bucky’s stayed with her a few times. Both willing to overlook the moral ambiguity of their actions.

“Please Buck, I need to find her.”

“You can't fix everything, Steve. She doesn’t want to be found. You're bullheaded, but you must realize that by now.” Bucky was tired of having this same conversation again and again. Steve wasn’t going to give up.

“I have to try. Even if there is just the slimmest chance, I have to try.”

Bucky gave in. Walking over to the map on the wall and pointing to her last known location. The rest was up to Steve.

Steve practically jumped out of his chair. “Thank you Bucky… I promise I’m going to get my girl back.”

Within hours he arrived at his destination. It saddened him that she went to Paris alone. They were supposed to go together. He searched for her high and low, but was too late, only catching a glimpse of her. He blinked and she was gone. She moved too fast.

Steve returned to the compound, heartbroken. It wasn’t yet 3am, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep. So he decided to go for a run. He kept running till the sun came up. After passing out in bed from exhaustion, Steve awoke prepared to try to move forward. He resumed his regular routine, running on autopilot, just trying to get by. In the day he could almost convince himself he was healed. Nighttime was another story entirely. The pain bloomed anew each time he lay in his lonely and vacant bed. He'd close his eyes, knowing too well it was his own damn fault.

Chapter 2

[wakanda-nonsense-is-this]

Ghost of You — Chapter 2

Masterpage <last next>

Pietro Maximoff x fem!Mutant!reader

Warnings: mentions of abandonment, mention of daddy issues, mentions of nausea and dizziness, mentions of hate.

Word Count: 1082

When we arrived it was pretty late. The moon was at its highest point and the only sound came from the air moving the leaves in the ground. I stepped out of the car, Pietro following behind, and looked around with awe written all over my face, as well in Pietro's.

"Let's go inside, your father's waiting for you" Happy said as we followed him out of the car. We reached a big crystal door where Happy typed some sort of code and the door opened after a robotic ''Welcome, Mullet" I looked at him with a raised brow.

"You know how's Tony" he said shrugging. No, i don't, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue, it isn't Happy's fault, if there's someone to blame it's absolutely not him, Happy was the only one who fought for me.

"I guess" I laughed awkwardly while resting my hand in my neck. Inside the building everything looked the same, white walls, long corridors, white lamps, it reminded me of the asylum where I spend my whole teenage years. The nausea and dizziness those memories gave me were exactly the same as I walked the hallway. I felt Pietro's eyes on me but decided to ignore it. We arrived at the elevator and Happy pressed the button for floor 3. The doors opened revealing a big room. The atmosphere here was different, the walls were some tone of brown, there were plants everywhere and kids toys? Huh, weird, I wonder who they belong to. We stepped into the room and as if I had called his name Tony appeared in front of us.

There he was. He looked the same as the last time I saw him. The same grin, the same eyes, the same hair but this time there was something different. This time, when I looked at him I didn't feel love or admiration all I felt was hatred towards the man who threw me into a prison and called it help. This time, when I look at him I remember the little girl who used to cried for him, who used to eagerly wait for her birthday hopping he would remember and visit her. This time I look at him and I see him for what he really is, a monster.

"You're skinnier" he said surprised. Yes dad, that's what happens when you only get fed once day. I didn't answer, I stood put and I looked at him in disbelief.

"It's been a long time, right? How long has it been? 6? 7 years?"he asked, scratching the back of his neck. I guess I already knew, but it still hurt, seeing how my absence and confinement meant nothing to him.

"12" I answered. He looked confused.

"Wha-"

"12 years. I spent 12 years in that madhouse you sent me to, not 6 or 7, 12." I clarified. I clenched my fist and dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand to try and grasp the little bit of self control I had left before I lashed at him and turned this place into a death anonymous meeting. A while ago I learned that the number of ghosts were dependent of my emotions, meaning if I get mad ghosts start to appear out of nowhere which can lead to a lot of really bad things.

"Not trying to be a party pooper, you know how much I like beef, but this place is starting to look a lot like a public pool" Pietro whispered as thought not trying to disturb the ongoing conversation. I looked around and he was right, we were pretty much reenacting A Christmas Carol scene. I took a deep breath and one by one the ghosts started to disappear.

""Y/n-" Tony started but I cut him. I knew there was no way for us to have this conversation without this place looking like an hotel.

"I'm really tired, it was a long trip." I faked a yawn.

"Yes, of course. Happy will show you to your room." Tony said rapidly, watching you as if looking for something.

***

My room is on the 4th floor. I was told other people lived in the building and that I would therefore share the floor with them, but as it was really late they were all asleep. I bid Happy good night and enter "my room". It was bigger than my room in the asylum and nicer, but it still felt wrong, as if somethings was missing.

"I don't know about you, but this place rocks" Pietro said from the bed in the middle of the room. It was pretty big, king size maybe, and somehow it still looked little on Pietro. My bag was situated near the closet. I opened it and took my pajama out. And as I was walking to the bathroom, his voice stopped me.

"That's why you never told me" he said, his eyes focused on me. He didn't have to specify, I knew what he was talking. If anyone was ever to see through my act, it was him, he sees too much, I hate it. I sighed as I sat on the bed.

"Yeah, I guess I just... I don't know, he abandoned me, you know? In 12 years I never got a damn call from him, it's not really something I like to think about. It depresses me and I have enough shit going on, the last thing I need is to add daddy issues to the list" I explained, while fidgeting with my shirt avoiding his eyes. For a minute none of us said a word, just kept silent.

"Wow, it must suck being you."

That was the last straw, I bended over laughing. He knew exactly what I needed to hear.

"Not as much as yours, you're dead" We looked at each other and started chortling so hard he felt off the bed.

After a few seconds we managed to get ourselves together, but one look at each other was enough for us to start convulsing with laughter over again.

"That's getting old" he managed to say catching his breath.

"But you aren't"

"I definitely just peed myself" he said rolling with laughter which only caused me to cackle with laughter.

This was a new life and it scared me, but I knew in my heart that as long as I had him with me, everything was going to be just fine.

Oh how wrong I was.

[niffala]

Forgive Me (Pt. 1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers / Mutant OFC (Marison)

Summary: Steve desperately wants to make everything better, but is it too little, too late?

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, jealousy, hostage situation, some fluff

A/N: This is a sequel to Dirty Secret. Reader insert version found here. 18+ only due to smut. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Dirty Secret Series Masterlist       Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

[2 months later]

Here we go again. Seeing the familiar figure quickly duck into the alley, Bucky can only shake his head as he leaves the restaurant with his order. Every time he left the compound, Steve tried to follow him, hoping he was on his way to meet Marison. 

After securing his meal to his motorcycle, Bucky called out to Steve, “You have to stop doing this, you're not good at it.” Steve appeared out of the shadows looking weary and dejected. It was clear he hadn't been taking care of himself. His clothes wrinkled, his beard untrimmed. Bucky turned to face him, “Besides that, it's pointless. Marison isn't even in the country anymore.”

“So you do know where she is.” 

Bucky exhaled sharply, “Steve…”

The blonde suddenly found his shoes fascinating. “I need her back, Buck… I can’t believe I screwed up so badly, losing her the way I did. It still feels like a bad dream. I wish to god it was. She belongs in my arms and I don’t think I'll ever know what possessed me to push her out of them.”

“You have no one to blame but yourself for that one. You dug your own grave and packed the dirt on too.” Bucky seated himself on his bike. “She deserved more than what you gave her. It shouldn't have taken losing her for you to get over your Carter obsession.” 

Steve could only nod, giving his friend a broken look. “I'll see you at home.” He turned and started back the way he came. 

Bucky wasn’t sure what else to say to his friend. Things were still tense between them. Both for how Steve treated Marison, and for shutting him out the way he did. The punk got stuck in his own head and refused help. His stubbornness was always his downfall. If he would have just talked to him, maybe he could have gotten through his thick skull earlier, before Steve destroyed everything. 

Marison’s absence was felt heavily among the team. They all missed her. Not just her getaway skills, but her friendship. She was always kind to everyone, always willing to be there, helping anyway she could. She cared for all of them and that love was missed. None of the others knew the real reason for her sudden departure. It was a hard secret to keep, but Bucky continued at her request. She didn't want any of them to look at Steve differently. After everything he put her through, she still wanted what was best for Steve. And Steve, well Steve thought Marison was what was best for him. If only he pulled his head out of his ass sooner.

Still, Bucky couldn't help pitying his friend. He hated seeing Steve hurting so badly, but it was the punk’s own dumb actions that caused this mess. Steve was his brother, but he fucked up. Maybe some pain was due. Steve had been sullen and isolating himself since Marison left. He hasn’t spent much time training or with the team. Bucky knows he wasn’t sleeping well because he can hear him crying most nights. He wasn’t going to bring it up though, Steve has been blowing up over small things lately. He didn’t want to tip him over that edge of grief he was precariously balanced on.

---------------

The weeks passing did nothing to dampen the all consuming regret Steve felt. Forgoing his morning runs, he would just lay there staring at the ceiling. Tired and drained. If anyone on the team noticed, no one said anything. He was grateful for that much. Steve was certain he’d spill the whole thing with the smallest provocation. He preferred to keep his anguish to himself. His bed felt so cold without her in it. His whole life felt cold now. As he did so many times before, Steve pulled out a yellow garment from inside his pillowcase. It was the dress Marison left behind. Blood stains now accompanying the grass ones from Steve kissing it after Bucky beat his face in. Steve held tightly to the fabric, imagining Marison in his arms, her lips on his, willing his heart to stop beating so it would stop hurting. 

He thinks of the last time he saw her. How stunning she looked, outshining everyone at the gala. But she was on Bucky's arm, not his as she should have been. Steve wishes he would have ran up to her like he wanted to. He would have swept her off her feet, kissed her breathless and danced the night away. Instead he forced himself to pay attention to Sharon, feeling a misplaced responsibility to her. That night played on repeat in his mind. He should have done so many things. He fucked up so bad.

---------------

Steve had been looking for Marison since she left. Four months later and still no lock on her. She was like a ghost. Steve would constantly beg Bucky to tell him where she was. He had yet to budge. Only confirming that she was doing okay. Bucky was torn between friends. Him and Steve were getting back to a good place in the friendship. He wanted to help, but didn’t want to break Marison’s confidence. Although his resolve on the matter was slowly chipping away.

When Steve loved he loved hard, and permanently. Bucky could only do so much to comfort his friend. He still had trouble understanding why Steve gave into Sharon. Why even for a moment he thought he was doing the right thing. But his friend was stubborn, and dumb enough to think he could have both. That Marison would always be there. Steve lost someone special chasing after someone he thought he once wanted. So trapped in his nostalgia to not realize what he had until it was gone. At least he saw now that he had been taking her for granted. Should have appreciated what he had enough to not betray her the way he did. However unintentional he claimed it was. Marison didn't deserve that pain.

Bucky remained close with Marison. She seemed better each time he talked with her. She'd been traveling the world, site seeing. Her abilities saved her a fortune in transportation and entrance fees. Hotel rooms and meals too. She'd been staying at the best hotels for free. Orbing into empty rooms and raiding the well stocked mini bars. Bucky’s stayed with her a few times. Both willing to overlook the moral ambiguity of their actions.

“Please Buck, I need to find her.”

“You can't fix everything, Steve. She doesn’t want to be found. You're bullheaded, but you must realize that by now.” Bucky was tired of having this same conversation again and again. Steve wasn’t going to give up.

“I have to try. Even if there is just the slimmest chance, I have to try.” 

Bucky gave in. Walking over to the map on the wall and pointing to her last known location. The rest was up to Steve.

Steve practically jumped out of his chair. “Thank you Bucky… I promise I’m going to get my girl back.” 

Within hours he arrived at his destination. It saddened him that she went to Paris alone. They were supposed to go together. He searched for her high and low, but was too late, only catching a glimpse of her. He blinked and she was gone. She moved too fast.

Steve returned to the compound, heartbroken. It wasn’t yet 3am, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep. So he decided to go for a run. He kept running till the sun came up. After passing out in bed from exhaustion, Steve awoke prepared to try to move forward. He resumed his regular routine, running on autopilot, just trying to get by. In the day he could almost convince himself he was healed. Nighttime was another story entirely. The pain bloomed anew each time he lay in his lonely and vacant bed. He'd close his eyes, knowing too well it was his own damn fault.

Chapter 2

[vikkirosko]

Okay, I'm back for the next part of "Fuchsia!Karkat x Mutant!Reader" :D !

I’ll give you carte blanche this :3 (I have no idea proposed, in fact x'D)

♋ fuchsia! Karkat Vantas x mutant! Reader Oneshot Monologue ❤

Karkat was alone in his chambers again. He was thinking about what he should do next. Although you agreed to stay in exchange for the release of your friends, Karkat was not sure that you would not try to escape again. However, despite the risk, he fulfilled his part of the agreement. Your friends were free. Although this caused indignation among the highbloods. But he didn't care. No one dared to contradict the orders of the heir. He was hoping that you wouldn't deceive him. He wanted to show you that he's not as bad as they say he is. That he's not a monster. He was going to discuss with you what you were talking about in front of the crowd. Listen you. Find out your point of view. But he didn't want to make it worse. That's why he was worried. He tried to gather up the courage to go to you. But a knock on the door and the voice of one of the guards brought him out of his thoughts.

"Heir, the rebel leader asks to meet with you, what do you want me to do?"

Karkat froze for a moment. He was afraid that they would tell him that you had run away. But you didn't run away. You wanted to talk to him. He couldn't miss such a chance.

" BRING THE REBEL TO ME"

The guard left. Karkat tried to calm down. He understood that he was not the one who needed to worry. But his heart was still pounding wildly in his chest. The guards brought you in pretty quickly. You didn't resist, which made it easier for them to work. You were left alone again. Karkat felt the blood rush to his cheeks once again. He couldn't contain his embarrassment in your presence. You tried to stay calm, but inside you were nervous. You were taking a huge risk just by staying here. One wrong step, one wrong word, and you will be waiting for death. You sat down opposite him. You didn't know how to start a conversation. Even your very desire to talk to him was made impulsively. But, fortunately for you, he spoke first.

"AS I PROMISED, YOUR FRIENDS WERE RELEASED FROM PRISON TODAY"

"Thank you for keeping your part of the contract, I will keep mine, and I will stay here"

He nodded. Karkat sincerely wanted to believe you.

"SINCE YOU'RE HERE, THEN TELL ME ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING SO HARD FOR."

You looked at him in surprise.

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded in agreement. You didn't expect this. But you couldn't refuse either. You've started your monologue. Karkat watched as the expression of your face changed. With each word, the fire in your soul lit up more and more. You told him that all trolls are born equal. You were talking about how much some castes oppress others, just because of the color of blood. Unable to keep your emotions to yourself, you began to walk around the room, continuing and continuing to talk. You were talking about how beautiful the world would be if everyone was judged not by the color of their blood, but by their actions. That when you meet new people, you pay attention to what a person is, and not to what caste he belongs to. Karkat listened to you as if spellbound. He liked to watch your expression change. How at one moment a smile appears on your lips. You noticed his eyes on you. He was smiling. This is the first time you've seen him smile. Your heart skipped a beat. You never thought that he could be so cute. You blushed and looked away. You didn't understand what caused you to have such a reaction. You still had to think about it. In the meantime, you needed to convey your idea to the heir as best as possible. You won't get another chance like this.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 35

💖first time reader click here💖

Reader and Eddie going on their mission. They're all morons, okay? Some canon-typical violence, bad guys being bad guys. You guys can see that I treat the fighting plot points as total crack, right?

Eddie Brock was pissed, at the Avengers mostly - for not telling him of my accident - but also at me, for the fact that I didn't call him sooner. Venom had taken over at some point, eager to participate in my plan - and it I was being honest, my uncle's space boo was the one I had relied on to participate in the mayhem that was to be caused to finally let my family breathe in peace.

The Avengers wore various expressions of guilt when an angry Eddie stormed the tower, berating them for not getting into contact with him when I was in danger. Venom growled at them, too, just the right amount of teeth and drool for Tony to quickly usher me out to 'take a walk, have some fun, build a snowman' with uncle Eddie and Venom. It was almost too easy, too predictable. The guilt that reared it's ugly head was stomped down by me and two glasses of whiskey in Eddie's rented Airbnb as I went into the fine details of my plan.

Both I and Eddie were equally surprised when Venom dropped their sarcastic, angsty teenager attitude and approached the topic with maturity, giving valuable input. The goth space goo was much, much smarter than their first impressions showed. I belatedly remembered their remark about being an apex predator species... Scary.

The plan was pretty simple.

Eddie was a professional investigative reporter and an unregistered mutant, his files being hidden so deeply due to the alien nature of the symbiote that it was unlikely that underground gangs would have any idea as to who he truly was. His involvement with SHIELD was buried under so much red tape, even Coulson himself had very little idea about Eddie's body-mate.

My uncle would sniff around the mutant underworld, just enough to catch a whiff of the mercenary's whereabouts. It should be enough if he was as famous as Natasha claimed him to be. And if it wasn't enough... I'd be bait. I doubt that the merc knew the box has been retrieved and secured; every now and then, I still caught chatter about the SHIELD agents trailing me catching a person sent to monitor me. They weren't even trying to hide that hard.

I had my suspicions SHIELD was indirectly using me as bait, too, and both Eddie and Venom were inclined to agree with the notion. Over beers and ridiculous amount of chocolate cake, a third side of the operation Baby Thief had been formed. SHIELD played their own game, the Avengers and SI threw a ridiculous amount of resources on their own and then there was me and Eddie, two halves of a whole idiot.

For once, the plan didn't go south immediately off the bat. Eddie and Venom got the information - there was a lot of uproar in the mutant community, rumours about an artifact that would let them assume their rightful place in the world, pushing the pesky humans off their pedestal. I definitely supported mutant rights - but the common notion that violence was necessary to achieve the recognition of said rights didn't sit well with me at all. Eddie agreed with me, his own curiousity pushing him to dig deeper into the situation.

My uncle could be a brilliant investigative reporter with the proper motivation and his significant other at the side. I could never tire of Venom's stories: each and every time they saved Eddie from making a clown out of himself was remembered, documented and brought up at the quickest available opportunity. I haven't laughed so hard in months.

The positives of our plan? We got a hot trail and enough information to know about the mercenary's whereabouts. We possessed the manpower needed to off him in record time, Venom eagerly offering his digestive system for our convenience.

The negatives? We'd need to bring me. Apparently there was a hefty bounty on my pretty little head and the merc himself had given up trying to chase me, hiring a bunch of muscle to do the legwork for him instead. The mercenary, a man who went by the nickname Cadre, was an ex-shield agent, who knew enough to successfully avoid the organisation following hot on his heels.

And neither SHIELD, nor Tony nor Eddie knew who had ordered the retrieval of the artifact. The mysterious person had deep pockets: all of the men were supplied with high grade weaponry and the mutants participating in the missions had equipment specifically tailored to their powers.

Perhaps, I wasn't as clever as I wanted myself to be. There was something big and ugly brewing and the bounty on my head was just the tip of the iceberg. But what was done, was done, and Venom was looking forward to a hefty meal and we set the date of Eddie "kidnapping" me in a few days time.

I hoped I'd make it home for Christmas.

The biggest surprise was that nobody suspected anything. Not even Natasha's watchful eye and inherent knowledge of shit about to be stirred - somehow, Nat always just knew those things - had revealed itself and that's how I knew it was absolutely necessary for me to be successful. There was no room for failure. In the day before my planned trip to Cadre's lair, I forced the team into a movie night and took extra time with everybody, seeing as even the most cheerful people - Thor and Wanda - walked around with sullen faces for most of the time. Perhaps, deep down, I knew that chances of my plan going awry were pretty damn high.

It felt like I was leaving for war. And perhaps, I was. The nervous, anxious energy increased as the hour X drew closer and I couldn't hide it anymore. My insomnia wore Tony's face: I could see his disappointment as clear as day, but I figured he'd forgive me for the betrayal eventually. Every single thing I hid from my newfound family made me feel a traitor. Unfortunately, there was simply no other option.

That afternoon, Eddie picked me up from the tower and drove me to one of the hideouts that belonged to Cabre. He'd tied my hands together and blindfolded me, all for show of course, whilst Venom briefly connected with my body to induce a drowsy state of mind. I didn't actually mind to be drugged and was way more wary of the symbiote's effects on my body but the space pudding extended his tentacles so quickly, I barely had the time to even swear at them.

To my (and their) surprise, it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. In my hazy state, I briefly head Venom growl that I could be a decent short-term host if something would to happen with Eddie; I did not know how that information made me feel but did not disregard it completely. I was out of my depth on this one yet marched on towards the danger with grim determination.

"Here's the girl," Eddie's voice penetrated through the curtain of chemicals that Venom had dosed me with; I was tossed none too gently on what felt like a mattress, the landing haphazard but not painful. Venom must've dulled my pain receptors, too. "Where's our money?"

I was unceremoniously groped, my face examined by a man with ice-cold hands. Whatever he found, he deemed it satisfactory. "I'm impressed," He whistled. "We've been trying to get her for months. Care to share how you achieved this?" The strange man sounded suspicious.

"WE HAVE OUR OWN TRICKS," Venom's deep voice filled out the room like thick smoke and I just knew that the man who had been groping me was twitching in discomfort. "SO?"

"Alright, alright," The man mumbled, voice unsteady. My drowsiness slowly began to recede and I finally could focus my eyes somewhat; Eddie was partially obscured by the writhing, onyx mass of his symbiote and the man was dialing up the phone, speaking in a rapid-fire dialect I did not know. "Cabre will be here in an hour. Care for a beer?" Just like that, the man was obviously attempting to placate Eddie.

"HOT CHOCOLATE," Venom announced flatly and I had to struggle to hold back my laughter at the image of a seven feet tall tentacle monster sipping hot cocoa from a tiny porcelain cup. My nerves had me feeling ten types of way, as usual, and props to Ven making me unable to speak. I would have already killed myself by running my mouth ten times over.

The hour passed by with me floating in my mindsphere, Eddie loudly playing Candy Crush on his phone and Venom consuming ridiculous amounts of hot chocolate. It was absurd and the eerie calm was beginning to make me suspicious; I had expected... More. Threatening thugs with guns, experiments, blood tests and physical violence. Instead, the man who met with Eddie was sitting with a vacant, bored expression as he practiced card tricks in the corner furthest away from Venom.

Finally, a knock on the door forced all of us to pay attention to the newcomer. It was a tall, massively built man in his early forties. His face was covered in scars, narrow red lines that looked like small cuts; one of his eyes was completely black while the other was blue. He looked like the man at the coffee shop but at the same time, nothing like him at all.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen," His voice was low and quiet. If not for the heavyweight weapon hanging over his shoulder, I would have considered him to be one of those men who only look threatening but actually are gentle giants. With steps too quiet for a man his size, he approached me, crouching down to look me in the face. "Hello, child. I've been looking for you for a long time. It's a shame we had to meet this way," He removed the strands of hair sticking to my face. For all purposes, his touch could have been considered fatherly. "Richard, bring the money." With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the man who was babysitting me and Eddie and he promptly disappeared behind the steel door.

"Hello," Eddie briefly shook his hands with Cabre after the merc left me alone. I noted Venom had disappeared into the reporter's body completely. "We are Venom," Eddie introduced himself (they introduced themselves?).

"Cabre," The Merc watched my honorary uncle with a sharp eye, taking note of Eddie's lack of weapons, his worn clothes and the shaggy hair, the bags under his eyes. "Tell me, Venom, what do you know of this child?"

"Not much," Eddie shrugged, convincingly. "Just that the Avengers picked her up for some reason and locked her up in Stark's tower. We're guessing she didn't like it much 'cuz she kept sneaking out and trying to shake off the tail. Had to go through quite a few SHIELD agents to get to her," Just like we agreed, Eddie spoke with slight disdain towards Tony and SHIELD, making sure to let Cabre believe he was on the mutants' side. "We just need the money, man. Not many people will hire us," To top it up, Eddie spread his arms, showing his skin ripple and move on it's own prominently under his ratty t-shirt. Atta boy!

Cabre appeared to have bought the lie, chuffing sympathetically, before pulling out a tablet and typing on it. "Well, not for long. My superiors have found an artifact that, if unlocked properly, will render most of the technology suppressing mutant powers useless. They won't be able to get rid of us that easily anymore."

Eddie nodded eagerly, for all purposes appearing to be ecstatic about the news. "Yeah, heard some rumors here and there. Well, you and your superiors know where to find me. I could always go with some extra cash," He scratched his head, carefully watching Cabre's fingers dance on the keyboard. "What's the kid got to do with it anyway? Seems like an ordinary spoiled brat to me," Eddie threw me a look, blinking twice. The fatigue and wariness, courtesy of Venom, had begun to recede quite some time ago; with Eddie's signal, I knew the shitshow was about to start very soon.

Eddie was smart, however, finding out the bits of information SHIELD hadn't bothered to disclose to me. The residue that the cursed box had left in me was removed, so I could not understand why SHIELD was still guarding me. There had to have been another reason, a reason that neither of us knew for sure.

Cabre paused his typing. "We've been watching her for years. She's a genius. We were hoping she could help us solve a few problems..." The merc paused to rub the bridge of his nose. "We tried to get her to come willingly but her parents forbade her from it. My superiors suggested to use the artifact but something malfunctioned." For all purposes, Cabre was looking apologetic. "I am not overly fond of kidnapping children but some things just need to be done." With that, the man turned around, landing his eyes on me. "Glad to see you're up and about." Something about his smile was unnatural, forced, malicious.

"Charmed to meet you," I sat up, dazed and confused about the turn of events. The things he was saying, they didn't add up. I hadn't received any requests for my participation in ANY kind of project, illlegal or not. No scholarships, no internship offers. Something was very, very wrong.

As soon as Cabre's back was turned, Venom enveloped Eddie, turning themselves into the seven feet tall outer space monstrosity I had seen on the first day. Their combined form was terrifying - but Cabre's fingers merely twitched at the rapid change of the situation as he took slow steps towards me. "Hmm," His voice still quiet, he once again crouched in front of me. "You fought us off once but we are many. There is nowhere to run, child," Cabre's eyes began to darken, his speech turning flat.

I recognized the speech pattern, recalled the expressionless, vacant face that stared at me. Cabre was infected with the Legion from the cursed box; I hadn't prepared for that, hadn't even regarded that, thinking the little epic speech the demon had given me was a mere intimidation tactic. Fear bloomed within me, opening it's jaws like a hungry Venus flytrap but I refused to succumb to it, clenching my fists against the waves of paralyzing terror.

Venom made a confused growling noise behind me, extending a tentacle to push Cabre away; with a sickeningly wet splat, their whole form collided with the opposite wall, sliding down it like a puddle of misshapen goop. "MORSEL, GET OUT." The symbiote growled, reforming itself back.

"Silence, beast!" Cabre shrieked, unstrapping his weapon and aiming it at Venom. No bullets came out as he pressed the trigger but my ear started ringing, eyes watering as the whole form of the symbiote began to morph and ripple. Pained groans and whines came from them. A sonic gun?

"Screw you, man," I attempted to draw Cabre's attention to myself by kicking out a leg towards the gun, disrupting his arm briefly. Things were going to shit faster than a party full of teenagers and alcohol. "Fuck you, listen, FUCK YOU!" I knew antagonizing people was my best skill and that's what I did, figuring the time needed for Venom to reassemble themself could be acquired if Cabre was pissed off enough at me.

The backhand hurt, not going to lie. I saw stars from that one sloppy hit the possessed merc delivered to my face. The adrenaline rush allowed me to stay somewhat coherent and just like that time when I was trapped in my nightmares, I dove for Cabre, winding myself around him as both of us landed on the floor in a heap of limbs.

Despite my best hopes, Venom remained a puddle of black on the floor. I saw something shiny attach itself to Eddie's chest; apparently that something prevented them from combining into one again. My smaller size proved to be a great advantage; I remembered Venom's words about being a suitable short-term host and with a shriek, I placed my palm into the nearest piece of symbiote I could reach, my vision being obscured by blackness a second later.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @warrior1-19 @toomanyrobins @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming

[moonlightflower21]

Sometimes people aren't meant to be in relationships...

"We need to talk..." The deep voice of your mutant turtle boyfriend filled the room and you turned towards the window, a neutral expression on your face. As bad as it was, he was the last person you wanted to end the night with. Lately everything had been different. Your interaction with him depended on the entirety of his mood. He deemed he was too busy for you but you had drop everything just to be there for him? This wasn't how relationships worked. Granted, this was his first hur even after trying to talk to him, he was the equivalent of a brick wall. Just go through one ear and out the other.

"What?" You answered, sitting down on your bed. A fluffy blanket draped your legs, tiredness crawling in your veins. Hopefully he would go soon, for you really couldn't be asked for his bullshit.

"You haven't called in days, what's going on??" He asked, leaning against the wall with an accusing brow. Yours were now raised, wondering if he was actually being serious. Oh, so now he cared??

"What does it look like?? I'm in bed. And I didn't call because I simply didn't want to. I am not obliged to talk to you everyday especially if you cannot be bothered to put in the effort either" Your fingers gripped the blanket tightly, hoping he was able to pick up on the signs and leave. But he didn't, of course he wouldn't.

"It's like I don't know who you are anymore. You suddenly seem to busy to do anything with me. And when I ask, you leave promptly. How can I put in effort when you can't even be around me anymore!" He snapped, you could practically see the steam coming from his ears. But anger bubbled in your stomach and you stood, ripping the blanket off and throwing it away from you. Any and all signs of tiredness and exhaustion flew out of your body and rage filled the spot instead.

"Who the fuck do you think you are??? Walzing into my bedroom, accusing me of absurd things! Why should I even make the effort?? Everything is always about you! All our talks, all our interactions. When was the last time you've asked me if I was okay?? I'm just a thing you like having on your elbow, something to show off to your brothers but you know what?? I can't do it! I don't give a fucking damn if you're upset because you've made me feel like shit for months! But have I ever made you feel bad about it??" You yelled, watching his figure stiffen and clench at the tone of your voice. You've never raised your voice at him like this before.

But he wasn't a child, he was a full grown adult that had to understand that life isn't easy. Everyone has problems and issues and he isn't the one in the entire world that has it hard.

"And while we're at it, your number one excuse is always your ninjitsu responsibilities and I understand. Believe me, if I didn't I would've left months ago. But suddenly it's my fault these people don't appreciate the work you do for them! Am I supposed to go to every resident in the city and praise you??"

"That's quite enough, Y/N!-" He started but you stopped him there. He wanted to open the bottle of faults and blame, you sure as hell were going to make him understand it was a two way situation.

"Be quiet. I'm not done" You seethed, fists clenched so tightly you were sure your fingernails had penetrated the first layer of your skin. But you couldn't bring yourself to care, your entire body felt hot. Anger, disappointment, bitterness, pain, everything swirled in your head and poured out of your mouth.

"You don't know HALF the shit I'm going through. You obviously don't care so please, tell me what the fuck is this relationship?? For you to dump all your problems on me?? As a partner, I will listen and console you when needed. But I draw the line now, I am not your therapist. You don't bother listening to me, so now it's the same. I don't care what happens to you, Leonardo" Hands raised in surrender, you step back maintaining the eye contact. You heard a soft gasp coming from him as you spilled your true feelings but you couldn't care less. Actually it felt refreshing to say everything that was weighing you down, able to finally fucking breathe.

"What are you saying?" He whispered, voice hoarse. Pins felt like they flooded his throat, following all the way down to his chest. Puncturing his heart. As if everything was on a standstill, the words fell from your lips slowly. And yet, he couldn't do anything to stop them.

"Isn't it obvious? I can't do this anymore. Mentally and physically. I can't be the person you want me to be. And clearly you're not happy with who I am-"

"I am! God, Y/N, I love you for who you are-"

"No you don't. Like I said, you fell in love with the idea of having a partner. But you don't love me for who I am. You want me to be someone who benefits you and you only. I just.... I can't do it" You laughed, however he knew there was anything but humour in your tone.

It hurt you to say the next words but you know he has to hear them, in order for you both to move on. You wouldn't have ever thought you could say it to his face but boy, life sure works in crazy ways.

"Leonardo, I just.... I don't love you" You utter calmly, glancing at those stormy irises. You know he won't break down in front of you but you can sense his sadness from here. It made you feel weird, you weren't ever the cause for his grief.

Leo didn't think he heard you correctly, expecting you to break out in a smile and yell it's all a joke. But your face spoke otherwise. Hands folded, stance rigid, he knew you meant business.

"So this how it's going to end? When... when did this happen?" He sniffs, both eye brows raised trying his ultimate best to not cry in front of you. You knew what he was referring to but was it ever acceptable to tell a partner when you fell out of love with him? It would be too much for him to handle.

"I don't know-" "Tell me" He commands, his stature matching yours and you shrug your shoulders. Fine, you had warned him. See if he can handle the cold truth.

"Around two weeks ago. I realised that this relationship... well, I've already told you" You eye his features. Though he seems unfazed, his eyes tell a different story.

"Okay..." He brushed a hot tear away, knowing it was only going to be the first of many to arrive. His heart pained immensely, as though someone had a tight grip around it. Slowly but surely breaking piece by piece.

"I'm sorry... for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed. And I'm so sorry for ever treating you like you didn't matter" He turned to look at you, his sapphire eyes shining with the unshed tears. It just twisted the knife that was in your heart. The tears shouldn't be there, he shouldn't have to feel like this. Your arms pitched with the urge to hold him, pretend that it was all going to be okay. Because even if he put you through hell, you still loved him. And that was what you hated the most. Even after everything, why did your heart still beat for him?

"Just close the window when you leave" You turn away, picking up the tossed blanket on the floor. He nods, taking a deep breath. Feeling another hot tear leave his eyes unwillingly, he obliged. He didn't know what he had expected anyway. You to wipe his tear and kiss away his pain? In another world perhaps, but here? Only a turmoil of pain and he was right in the centre. Quietly, the window gently closed as he vanished in the night.

You had taken a deep breath but your lungs felt empty. Heart heavy, body numb, the pain you tried to keep in all night dripped down your cheeks. Continuous hot tears rolled down and you hadn't the energy to wipe them away. And funnily enough, through this you could feel your heart slowly being relieved. Slowly being let out of the shackles it once was pinned in.

Leo didn't know where he was going, anywhere but his home. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, the tears blurred his vision. Stinging his eyes, burning his cheeks but they were unstoppable. Hearing a loud roll of thunder in the distance, he knew he should have gone home. But he wasn't able to face his family. What a horrible day.

One minute he was on the ledge and the next he felt himself toppling off the edge. Through his heartbreak, he must've miscalculated a step and toppled down the long building. His body banged into the walls, scratched roughly by the bricks until he was thrown into the ground with a loud bang. He was so lucky it wasn't packed and crowded.

Surrounding by the bin bags, drenched with rain, he couldn't hold it in anymore. A shaky cry overcame his body, heavy sobs racking his entire body. He felt like he couldn't breathe, hands trembling trying to console himself. The cries felt like they came from his very soul, gasping for air that never reached his chest. Everything hurt around him. And as if the sky was in agreement, the drizzle of rain became heavy; drenching his very core.

His calf burned, excruciating pain shot up his leg if he added the slightest bit of pressure. Skin was torn from his shoulders and his head felt like it had been punched several times relentlessly.

The rain washed his body, stinging his wounds and carrying the blood away. He heard his phone go off but he hadn't the courage to answer it just yet. He needed help but he couldn't bear to look at anyone. He was where he belonged, with the trash and the dirt. He deserved the hate from other people. He deserved your anger. If only he was able to truly see how you were, maybe this could have been prevented.

Some people didn't deserve love, maybe he was one of them.

No, he was one of those people.

[moonlightflower21]

Poisoned Love

Their world was full of violence, gangs and blood. Yours was the complete opposite, you had never even held a gun let alone shot someone to death. So how did you wound up being right in the centre of theirs? How did you become so entangled in a messy world, strung together by lies, pain and blood? They weren't a force to be reckoned with and maybe that's why no one wanted them.

They were soiled.

Blood covered their hands, scars covered their bodies, sins covered their hearts. They were not ordinary being, they were mutants. With a flick of a wrist, he could have snapped your neck. But you, oh you gave them a small hope. Not everyone in the world was brutal, out to kill them or to judge them. But be careful, don't bite off more than you can chew.

You remembered that fateful night meeting these figures and since then, it seemed you couldn't escape them. Mentally, they played on your mind like a record. Over and over.

Maybe it was his presence that captivated you when he entered the room. Though he held an air of mystery, somehow being with him made you feel safe. Comforted even. He knew you, inside and out. And no matter how much you tried to hide it, he read you like a book. His intelligent eyes able to catch in whatever you felt or what you were thinking. And that's why you loved spending time with him, you didn't need to hide anymore. But his heart was locked and hidden away and he always thought the walls were impenetrable. Meeting you however and he could feel the foundation beginning to slightly shake. Could you see him the way he saw you? Even after knowing his truth?

Or maybe it was his personality once you got to know him he wasn't so bad. There was a softie under all the rough and tumble. Someone who was able to reach such deep wavelengths, able to understand you without saying a mere word. Even if the rest of the world brutally criticized him, you knew the truth he tried to hide. He was just another lost soul, desperate for affection and love. The problem was, were you able to sought it out and take the time or were you just going to disappoint him like the people before? It wasn't going to be easy, but all good things have a price don't they?

Perhaps it was his intelligence. The way he analysed new foreign objects, looking for cures and remedies to help. Showing you that whilst people came and left, he always had his machines and experiments. Science had never failed him like the humans had. And time spent with him made it clear that he wanted love, of course he did. So were you able to give him what his heart desired or were you just waiting for him to crumble?

Just being with him you knew he didn't want to cause harm, he was doing it for his family and his safety. In a world full of evil people, you have to put yourself first. Maybe it was how big his heart was, how warm even after being broken countless times. Thrown against the wall, shattered like glass and yet he continued to live, breathe and fight. Even if the world surrounded him, hating his very guts, he continued to do what he did best. And nothing stood in his way.

Maybe it was because these four mutant turtles weren't much different than yourself. Maybe it was because you felt a sense of belonging in the group. Maybe it was because you found yourself in each aspect of the turtles, you found the hidden truth many overlooked for years.

But in doing so, you would come to find that you were too were slowly losing yourself. You didn't know the risks of being involved with mafia turtles. The countless enemies out there for their blood, the temper, the anger, the anguish and the regrets. You would have to face cold, dark and terrible truths about all their pasts.

Would you be able to brave enough to see the true reality? Could you see the real them the rest of society overlooked?

Or is it just too much?

》》》》》》》》》《《《《《《《《《

so for some background info, this is a mafia/gang type setting which includes all four turtles (sorry for the cliche lol). this is still an idea so i'm still figuring how to play this out. whether it's going to be poly turtles or you can pick and choose your love interest and they have separate chapters.

i don't know so let me know your thoughts! :)