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vinocean22 · 16 hours ago
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20 Things Spanking Fetishists Have in Common
Sweet Tea
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Spankos are soulmates. The fetish hardwires our hearts and minds in remarkably consistent ways that aren’t usually apparent to others, so it’s always a bit magical when we chat. “Holy shit, you get me.” I still find it shocking how much we have in common. Can you relate to this list?
1. We’ve been like this for a very long time.
“I’m a lifelong spanko.” This is common in our community and not all that surprising, as most fetishes are formed during childhood. The vast majority of spankos I’ve met have either been this way for as long as they can remember, or can pinpoint a specific age in childhood when they became preoccupied with thoughts of the act. I can’t personally remember any point in my life when spanking didn’t fascinate me and captivate my attention.
2. It’s not a choice.
For many people, spanking is a kink. They enjoy it and find it sexy, but don’t necessarily consider it a requirement for a good time. For those with the fetish, however, spanking is a need rather than an option. Some of us can appreciate and enjoy other BDSM-related activities like bondage or wax play or needles, but spanking is central to our sexuality. This thing lies at the core of our soul and we couldn’t get rid of it if we tried.
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We looked up the word ‘spanking’ in the dictionary as kids, not once but multiple times. This also applied to related words like ‘paddle’, ‘switch’, ‘flog’, ‘discipline’, or ‘punish’. We knew their meanings, of course, but the act of reading the definitions was exciting—arousing, even—though we may have been too young to conceptualize the feeling as sexual. If we studied a foreign language, we sat in class and wondered in the back of our minds, “But what’s the word for ‘spanking’?”
(Is this common with other fetishes? Did foot fetishists look up the words ‘foot’, ‘high heel’, ‘stocking’, etc. at the library, bashfully looking around to make sure no one else would notice? I wonder…)
4. We have, uhhh, ‘issues’ with being around it.
Non-spankos can talk about spanking like it’s nothing, but that’s not the case for people with a fetish for it. We may turn bright red when the topic comes up in conversation or feel the need to leave the room when spankings happen in movies or TV shows. For some, this is because the idea triggers intense arousal, even more so than if straight-up intercourse were playing onscreen. For others, it’s simply too intimate and embarrassing to think about unless we’re by ourselves or discussing it in the context of a sexual encounter. When I was a kid and friends publicly proclaimed, “My mom spanked me yesterday!” I felt absolutely mortified. “How can anyone talk about THAT so casually?”
5. We think about it a looooooot.
Some researcher folks have claimed we all think about sex an average of 18-35 times a day. The fetishists I know think about spanking at least this often if not more, frequently daydreaming about the smacking of butts. A fetish is, by definition, a meticulous obsession. We live and breathe it, and never run out of things to say when chatting with other spankos. We want to meet people like us and TALK about it in detail, even if we never end up playing together. It’s our favorite means of connection.
6. Our fetish has caused us hardship.
“Do you feel like your fetish is a curse?” I’ve seen this asked quite a bit on spanko forums. Most of us had to navigate a number of challenges while growing up with this thing. We felt shame, embarrassment, and isolation after realizing how different we were, and may have worried we were crazy. Our relationships with non-spankos have likely been riddled with intimacy problems because we can’t relate to each other sexually. No matter how kinky or open-minded our partners are, they’re unlikely to understand us unless they have the fetish too. As a result, many spankos become pickier over time, ultimately refusing to date those outside of their orientation. “I’d rather be single than with someone I can’t share this with.” Until we find our people, it’s a lonely world.
7. Spanking takes priority over sex.
Every spanko I’ve ever met has put spanking at the forefront of the itinerary. It’s satisfying in its own right for a lot of folks, whether or not other sexy stuff occurs before or afterward. Some spankos identify as asexual, eschewing intercourse entirely because it doesn’t interest them in the same way discipline does. Others are extremely sexual people who focus on spanking as the main course or frequently indulge as an extended form of foreplay. This is an example of why we might experience difficulty finding balance with non-spanko partners. By the time they’re ready to move onto something else, we’re just getting in the zone.
8. It’s on our mind when we orgasm.
One of the first times I had sex with another spanko, I was blown away by the level of telepathy between us. I closed my eyes and fantasized as he licked my clit. He suddenly paused and smiled. “You’re thinking about having your pants pulled down, aren’t you?” I mean fuck, of course I was, but how did he know?! With a bit more experience in the community, I realized many if not all spankos think about it while they’re getting off. The moment thoughts of discipline enter my mind I’m aroused, but I cool off just as quickly if my focus is drawn elsewhere. If I didn’t think about spanking, I’m not sure I’d ever climax.
9. Most of us have tried switching at least once.
Some spankos like to give and receive in equal share, but many have a preference toward being spanker or spankee. I’ve noticed, though, that even the most stubborn of us who proclaim, “I don’t switch!” have tried a taste of the other side out of curiosity at some point. It makes sense to want to learn all angles of the equation. I’m in favor of the idea that everyone benefits from switching. Understanding what our partners experience makes us all better lovers.
10. We want spankings to feel as ‘real’ as possible.
Often, spankees want to cry. We want to be held down and ‘made’ to take it until our spanker is done, no matter what we say or do. This makes the experience feel more real, as if we’re truly being punished by an authority figure and have no choice in the matter. Once trust has been established, some spankees will afford their partners blanket consent and opt not to use safewords. (I don’t recommend this route with anyone you wouldn’t trust with your life. There are oodles of legitimately fucked up people out there masking their abusive tendencies as BDSM. Vet your spankers well, ladies and gents.) This all exists to enhance the pleasure of the fantasy, but isn’t an invitation to violate limits. We want our spankers to be perceptive, taking us just far enough to inspire tears and provide release, but not so far as to genuinely break or traumatize us. Finding this balance is an art form that requires empathy, intelligence, communication, and skill.
11. We all have our preferences.
What implements do you like? What are your favorite positions? What kinds of spankings are your favorite to give? Bruises or no bruises? How long do you like to go for? What kinds of behavior would earn a spanking from you? These are the sexy deets we discuss when we chat, and our answers say a lot about our personalities. It’s rare for a spanko not to have feelings about such things. More often than not, we have specific reasons for liking what we like.
12. We enjoy associated activities.
To state the obvious: spankos love butts. LOOOOOOOOVE them. Naturally, we tend to enjoy other ass-focused activities in conjunction with spanking, like anal play, doggy-style sex, enemas, thermometers, and between-the-cheeks ‘inspections’. Many of us also dig other punishment-related activities traditionally associated with spanking, like corner time or writing lines. “I will not behave like such a sassy little brat. I will not behave like such a sassy little brat…”
13. For us, spanking is its own category.
I’ve noticed a desire in the spanko community to distinguish what we like from the greater umbrella of BDSM. Clearly, spanking incorporates elements of discipline, D/s, and sadomasochism. However, what most of us mean when we mention our fetish is far more specific. We’re not talking whips, dungeons, or shibari. We’re talking traditional, domestic bare-bottom OTK punishment with hands, paddles, belts, wooden spoons, bath brushes, and other goodies found in the home. It’s a comforting, parental, for-your-own-good type of vibe wherein we call our partners Mommy, Daddy, or other titles that convey nurturing familiarity. Very different than, say, having a cold ‘master-slave’ dynamic in a relationship, which tends to be a bit too much for our taste.
14. We love every stage of the process.
A non-spanko might solely imagine the physical slapping of cheeks when we refer to our love of spanking, but that's not the long and short of the matter. Spankos adore the entire arc of the narrative. The misbehavior that led to the spanking. The threats and anticipation. Getting into position. The warm-up and removal of each layer of clothing, all the way until the spankee’s bottom is bared. The swats, first with hands, then a variety of implements. The communication surrounding lecturing and admonishment. The catharsis of tears. The slow tenderness and beauty of aftercare. The closeness the ritual inspires. The intimate drama of this entire process is deeply satisfying.
15. We distinguish between different kinds of spankings.
What is the purpose of the spanking being given? Punishment? Maintenance? Stress relief? Eroticism? This detail is important to us, for it influences the style in which the spanker spanks. Sexual spankings often involve caressing of nether-regions and start off somewhat softly, building in strength at a comfortable pace throughout a drawn-out warm-up period. Punishment spankings embody an entirely different space. They are meant to be intense, painful, and challenging to endure.
16. We watch a lot of the same porn.
My closest spanko friends and I send each other links to videos every so often. “Have you seen this one?” A lot of the time the answer is yes, for we’re drawn to the same spankers, spankees, and couples who create our favorite content. Spanking vids with a glitzier, more porny atmosphere tend to be lower on the ladder than amateur, traditionally domestic ones. Again, we want it all to feel as real as possible. The “we shot this at home while punishing actual misbehavior” setup provides more satisfaction.
17. We don’t usually watch our porn with non-spankos.
Back when I used to date vanilla and guys would ask, “What kind of porn do you watch?” I would lie and pretend porn wasn’t my thing. This is because I knew that what I watch would likely bore them. A clip with fifteen straight minutes of nothing but spanking, sans sex, would likely make a lot of people’s eyes roll back into their sockets. “So monotonous!” Once I started dating spankos, however, I found much joy in sharing, knowing we could relish each and every moment together.
18. We all want a house out in the boonies.
Ask a spanko about their goals for the future and many will answer, “I want to buy land.” This is because our activity of choice is LOUD and has the potential to disturb nearby neighbors. Nothing ruins a good time like a visit from the fuzz. The begging, screaming, and crying… they are cleansing to our souls and we wish to do them freely. It’s countryside living for us, boy howdy.
19. We’re very romantic people.
It comes as no surprise that many spankos are traditionalists. We often relish old-timey acts of devotion like marriage, opening doors, buying flowers, and cooking for our partners. Many are monogamous and like to wait to have sex until deep bonds of commitment are set in stone. Spanking is an extension of this attitude toward intimacy. We’re so deeply devoted to our partners that we refuse to turn our backs on their misbehavior, laziness, procrastination, or feelings of guilt. Instead we stay, face them, and do what must be done to help them deal with their problems, following up with plenty of aftercare involving sweetness and reassurance. Squeeee.
20. We speak the same love language.
For partners with a consensual domestic discipline dynamic, spanking is an act of love. It’s an intimate ritual centering on a potent giving and receiving of attention. A means of setting aside time to converse and communicate about the challenges of relationships and everyday affairs. A tool for strengthening the bond and balancing the energy between spanker and spankee. A way of helping one another feel “right” and “natural” in a world that so often feels like it’s tumbling off its axis. In nonconsensual or manipulative contexts, spanking is abuse. Between those of us who crave it from one other, it’s the highest form of affection.
Granted, these are solely my thoughts based on my own observations and experiences.
Anything to add, spankos?
Reach out, I'd love to hear you : https://www.the-rose-moon.com/post/20-things-spanking-fetishists-have-in-common
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gallusrostromegalus · 2 days ago
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So, uhh, genuine question.
Do you recommend getting into Bleach, and if so how? Anime, Manga, a little bit of both, secret other thing? Your posts about it (and especially about AEIWAM) have definitely piqued my Interest, but I have pretty much 0 knowledge about the topic and heard very contradictory takes & reviews before, so I wanted to ask for your advice on the topic.
Cheers and have a nice day!
So a couple people have asked me this and I'm going to be as honest and fair about it as possible:
Bleach itself is mid.
...which is why the fan works KICK SO MUCH ASS.
My theory is that the ideal habitat for transformative fan work creators is mediocre series. It has to be good enough to be worth engaging with in the first place, but it's the plot holes and dropped developments and intriguing characters that don't get enough time and shoddy-to-unexplained worldbuilding that make nice little holes for fic authors and fan artists to crawl into and built a home, like sponges growing on a dilapidated subway car sunk into the Hudson river.
So yes. Bleach is mid. More under the cut:
It's also really two series: the manga and the anime. There's more anime than manga because bleach suffers from the late oughts horror known as "the filler arc" where the studio would make shit up while waiting for the author to catch up. Not ideal, but better than the current state of "cancelling a fully written five-season show after two because it wasn't making enough money for the oligarchy" but I digress.
To grade both the manga and anime on the Weeb-Ass-Shit scale:
Weeb: how familiar do you have to be with the tropes of anime/Japanese culture in general to be able to enjoy the series? This is one of the things Bleach does REALLY, REALLY WELL, in that you can go in knowing fuck-all about anime and have a good time, but the more you know, the more fun it is. My favorite thing Kubo does is that if you look up the meaning of the characters used in everyone's names, there is a TON of jokes, foreshadowing, themes etc. baked into every name. A+ work.
Ass: how much gratuitous fan service is there and how annoying is it? So. It's not the worst. But it's really, really obvious that Bleach is written and illustrated by a straight man who is hella into tiddies. As a bisexual, I can appreciate The Tiddy (and tbh, the men in Bleach have pretty great tits too), but there are a lot of humor bits about Kon being a perv/author stand-in, orihime has medically alarming knockers for a teenager and gets groped kind of a lot. There's also a predatory lesbian stereotype character in the early episodes, and some pretty awful transphobic caricature characters. The amount of horny isn't that much for a shonen, but it's pretty gross IMHO.
Shit: how well- made is this series?
Mixed. Both the manga and the anime (esp the recent Thousand Year Blood War arc) have some absolutely gorgeous art, banger character designs, and deeply entertainingly choreographed fights. It is really nice to look at.
Unfortunately, both also suffer really badly from pacing issues that are pretty much entirely the fault of the insane demands the industry puts on the artists. If you've ever read/seen a shonen manga/anime from the late aughts through early teens, you're familiar with this bullshit- fight scenes drawn out to absurd lengths, filler arcs while the animation studio waits for the author to catch up, repeated plot arcs, minimal focus on characterization, The Friendship Speech (TM) etc.
Pacing and repetitiveness are Bleach's main quality issues, but the art is pretty baller and the Japanese voice cast is pretty fucking great IMHO. (I have APD and have to consume shows by subtitles, so the sun is usually more legible for me than the dub).
If you are coming into Bleach from AEIWAM... You're likely to be a bit disappointed. I put a shitload of work into the worldbuilding because Bleach does not, I write almost exclusively slice-of-life character moments rather than big battles, and I have made some pretty fucking radical changes to some of the characters. An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy is an entirely different genre than Bleach, and that's ok, because fic usually is radically different than it's source material. But also be prepared.
TL;DR: Bleach is mid and that's ok! My fic is different than it and that is also ok! I still recommend it with the reservations of : it's prototypical of its time period and contains many of the gross tropes from that era. It is also very much a horror shonen, just to be clear. Fucked up shit happens on screen, mostly cannibalism! Which is great IMHO, but you should probably take a stroll through DoesTheDogDie.com for more specific trigger warnings before beginning.
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aestherin · 17 hours ago
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I CAN SEE YOU
track 02: make me
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Given how much you loved making art, you could've held so much more exhibitions by now, if it weren't for the immense dread that comes with it. Not because of the exhaustion, but because of your own blood.
"Great! This is great!" Your father laughed, continuously patting your shoulders at the sheer delight of seeing the surges of people arriving at the gallery.
Funny, how they were very light pats yet never fail to weigh you down.
"Now you have to make better artworks so that the next exhibition could be better too!" He grinned. Still keeping you beside him, your father's eyes roamed around until he found a business friend of his. He gracefully nodded at the said friend's direction. In your family's dictionary, this gesture was meant to be an invite.
"Nice exhibition, [Name]." The stranger remarked as soon as he got near you and your father. "When's the next one?"
They both laughed.
And you found it sickening.
Was it really that funny to make light of your hard work and effort? Why are they talking about it as if it was easy to do? As if your paintings were mere commodities — machine-produced, basic, and standard.
Or maybe you were the problem. Maybe you were over-analyzing stuff and putting meaning into things that shouldn't and didn't have them in the first place. Maybe these two men were saying these things because they believe in you and your ability. Maybe it was a good thing.
Maybe you were in the wrong, thinking that they did not really appreciate what you just put out.
But was it really wrong to feel frustrated when people keep expecting more, when really, all you wanted at that moment was to take a break?
"Uhm —"
"You should start on the next one as soon as possible."
The additional statement of the stranger in front of you did nothing to quell your restlessness. One of your brows raised subtly without you noticing it.
"Actually, I plan to take a little break," you abruptly replied. You internally winced at how your voice sounded. The usual mask coating your words — the mask of softness and calmness — was absent. Instead, what seeped through was impudence.
And in the presence of your father, that was tantamount to committing a grave sin.
You fucked up.
The man in front of you just nodded and smiled awkwardly, bidding hurried yet still formal goodbyes to your father.
"[Name]!" Your father wasn't roaring, but there was an underlying threat to his deceivingly calm voice. There always was. "That is not how we talk to our business partners."
'Your business partner, father,' you thought.
"I apologize for my behavior earlier. I was merely exhausted."
He clicked his tongue. "A lifetime of learning etiquette and still making minor mistakes as a full-grown adult? How disappointing."
You remained silent.
"You better hope that disrespect you showed to him earlier wouldn't affect our long-term business relationship with them, unless you want to end up like your disappointment of a cousin."
He's talking about Eula.
Your elder cousin, who to you, was everything but a disappointment. How is it that they disapprove of her, when the only thing she has ever done was follow her dreams and speak for herself? How is it that they view her as a failure, when she was what you looked up to?
Perhaps, you might've even envied her. Her guts.
If you had them, you would have cut off the whole family a long time ago as well.
You took a deep breath, donning another calculated smile as you saw more people approaching.
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I CAN SEE YOU — scara x reader smau
prev . masterlist . next
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TAGLIST I (closed)
@kararisa @aries-afk @aetherialcrafter @jamieexistss @lordbugs @aerisellesuchi @adres-tia @luvlockettt @kinichval @miiltrix @suzueuieeeee @automaticpatroltragedy @ahirusstuff @kyuki07 @kunikuni1819 @hungryreadingaddict @deariroha @rosieyama @slayzzz @tired-jaz @mellowberrie @kyouzki @riabriyn @ravenbc @lalalaloveallmydays @moonlitreveri3 @skyoverkill1 @xiaomainlmao @phoenix-eclipses @yomishen @anemosmybeloved @iaraluvs @kunikuzushiit @lockandkeys @yoursockstinks @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @d1gital-data @shyentsmissingink @liuaneee @najaemism @mywillt0live @aswiftiechildofapollo @toekissers @meigalaxy @nishiriks @executeher @verafunny @gl00muraaii @lily-isalittlegirl @just-a-hopeless-romantic
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fishnapple · 3 days ago
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What new skill should you learn
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
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CARNELIAN
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The most prominent one that I get is public speaking skills. Your usual way of speaking might not get you enough attention when you are in front of a crowd or talking to a large audience, even online one. May be your voice is too soft or sounds quite young or bubbly, or you don't like to share too much about yourself, your opinions. It can make you seem more approachable, but in situations that you need to assert yourself, to be taken seriously, then it can become a disadvantage. And when you are in those situations, you might over compensate by being defensive or rigid, trying to assert yourself more than necessary.
You need to develop a firmer tone, and the words you say, your body language should also convey a sense of authority. But it's not a battle for power and domination, you just need to make yourself more visible, to make your energy more solid and grounded. This will help you in situations that require exchanging ideas in a large group, delivering your message to many people, rallying, persuading, teaching, or simply telling a story.
Research more about social skills in a group setting, observe the people that you feel are popular or well respected, observe their body language, their posture, their tones in different kinds of conversations, their choices of words, their silence, etc. This may sound mechanical but if you treat this skill just like math or painting, instead of thinking that social skill is something innate, you will see that with appropriate observations and enough practice, you can achieve a certain level of proficiency. This will open more opportunities for you and raise your confidence.
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CLEAR QUARTZ
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The stone of Pluto, South node and North node, all are "standing up", they are trying to make a statement (each side of the crystal is very narrow, it can fall over with just a gust of wind, I normally couldn't replicate the same position). The theme is about changing the old and embracing a new mindset. I think it has to do with how you take care of your appearance, your style.
Right now, you seem to be staying in the safe zone when it comes to styling yourself, making yourself more beautiful. This might be due to restrictions in early childhood, traditional values, what society deems appropriate or trendy. You might not want to focus too much on appearance because it seems superficial or vain, or takes too much of your time and energy.
But doing so will rope you the chance to express yourself more truthfully. Beautify yourself not because of how you will be perceived, but because it's a way to show love for yourself. You look into a mirror, you feel happy, you want to compliment yourself, you feel that silly stray strand of hair is adorable, not thinking about how will everyone say, how you are not like someone.
So the advice for you here is to be more adventurous in styling, expand your knowledge about fashion and styling, explore yourself more , give yourself the freedom to experiment more, to rebel more. Creating a unique image, a "public persona" is not just for some celebrities, everyone can benefit from that. Because behind that seemingly surface action, is the journey of discovering your deeper self. As within so without.
The theme of transformation is also applied to learning new languages. The languages should be totally different from your mother tongue, giving you more chance to connect with people from various parts of the world.
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OBSIDIAN
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The phrase "navigating the world" appeared in my mind. I got several meanings from this. One is in the literal sense as driving a vehicle, going around, navigating the roads, so learning to drive a new kind of vehicle might be the skill you should learn, or even learn to swim or row a boat. There are lots of movements, travelling and moving around. You should be more active in the physical sense. But this is not really about exercise or going to the gym, it's about moving your body, being in various places, experiencing different things. Your life in this period needs lots of expansion and movements. You might feel that you don't have enough resources or energy to go on trips, or you're simply someone who doesn't like travelling. But it will make your life stagnant. Travelling might not seem like a skill, but it is, all the planning, packing, preparation and the ability to adapt to the new place, all or these take skills.
Another one is navigating the complicated social construct. Maybe you feel it's hard to connect to people, there might be walls and the feeling of solitude and not fitting in, that there is something fundamentally different about you. The people that you managed to get closer to (it's likely that they approached you first) will stay close to you for a long time, you have no trouble maintaining a connection. The trouble lies in initiating or forming the connection. There might be an ego here that doesn't want to show their vulnerable side. Silly jokes and banters might seem childish to you. But learning to have fun in a social setting is much more rewarding than you think. Allow yourself to be a child, learn how to tell a story. Debating skills might also be worthwhile for you to learn, learn how to state your opinions clearly and defend your stance.
This group is strangely hard to read, I feel a certain resistance. You might feel that your personality isn't suitable for these kinds of things or you think it would take too much effort and work. You also don't want to imitate what other people are doing. Another reason might be that you haven't figured out what you like to do yet. But that's okay, everything takes time, trials and errors are normal, don't give up on the first try.
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TIGER'S EYE
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This one is an anti-consumerism movement. You might want to learn how to mend and sew clothes. And not just learn for yourself, but later will you spread the awareness to everyone, or even open workshops related to this.
Running after trends, constantly being bombarded by ads about shiny things that we don't actually need. Basic clothes with good quality cost too much while trendy ones don't last for more than a year. Maybe it's time for you to take matters in your own hands. Learning how to sew clothes might take time and effort, and sometimes, the cost is not small either. But you will be more free to explore styles that you like, create things that you're actually comfortable in. Not many people can proudly display their achievements like someone who makes their own clothes. This is also a great activity to relieve stress and help you practice being patient, especially if you're someone who is quick to get irritated or not very meticulous. It can soften your energy more and make it more focused.
Another way to practice is martial art or self-defense. You have lots of energy that needs to be channelled into various activities, those that keep your body busy.
You might also want to research more about the traditional spiritual and occult practices of your culture, or some traditional crafts in your family, learning about the legacy of our ancestors. There will be surprising knowledge hidden in them that you didn't notice before. You could feel resistant or disagree with many traditional teachings but don't disregard them completely. We can always learn something new from the old and the new always contain the old.
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LABRADORITE
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This is something that you feel out of your depth and uncomfortable doing, or something that you like but want to keep it a secret, for fear of judgement or obstruction.
I heard dancing and singing. But there's a feeling of gatekeeping. Some people consider these kinds of activities only for those who are gifted and have the resources to pursue them. These skills are put on a pedestal that stops people from approaching them in a more casual way.
Why should you learn these skills? It's to let your inner child be free and out into the open. It's also a way to learn how to control your body, discipline it so it can flow freely, it helps you connect more with your sensuality. Our body is an instrument of life, capable of many miracles, you won't know it unless you let it interact and move with the world around it.
There are various genres for you to explore, but I see traditional instruments or movements combined with modern ones.
Nurturing life such as gardening is another skill you should learn. It helps you be more in sync with nature, you will need to observe the natural cycle of life, to care for each individual and to form a bond with them. If you don't have the space or resources for gardening, maybe try to study more about nature, subjects about biology and chemistry, the ecosystem of forests, oceans, deserts etc. You will be more appreciative of the nature world.
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CITRINE
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Your energy right now seems to be rigid and doesn't flow properly. There's stress about your health, it's hard to relax, you don't feel comfortable in your body. Maybe you've been too busy lately, your mind is overloaded and your movement is restricted. So you need to learn something that can help you destress, loosen up the hard restrictions around you, and connect more with a softer, more gentle energy. You could call it your feminine energy, regardless of your gender. The feminine energy is within all of us, in your case, it's more hidden. Your loving, more nurturing side could be considered as weaknesses by the people around you. Or, on the contrary, those traits are expected of you forcefully, to the point that your own interpretation of them are buried deep within, you haven't had a chance to actually understand and connect with it.
I think meditation or any form of practice that can quiet the mind and put you in the flow will be good for you. Making art could be one form of it, yoga, intuitive dancing, Qigong, roller skating. Slow, mindful movements or wild, frantic ones just like a child running around, all the while maintaining your balance. You can temporarily forget about yourself, your worries, your responsibilities for a while with these kinds of activities.
Learning to play an instrument can also achieve the same kind of effects. A flute or a lyre.
You should be around children more, learn how to take care of them, how to teach them. Working, being with children can have a totally different energy and requires a different set of skills. I think you would make a great teacher because you have a very protective energy that children would feel safe around you. And in turn, they help you soften up and bring out your compassionate side more.
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goldfades · 8 hours ago
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joe burrow x popstar
watching edits together and getting so surprised by how freaky ppl are
warnings: nothing but fluff!!!
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It starts with Joe’s arm slung lazily over the back of the couch, his thumb absentmindedly brushing the bare skin of your shoulder. The TV flickers in front of you, some forgettable show playing in the background, its dialogue drowned out by the comfortable silence you’ve both perfected over time. It’s the kind of quiet that doesn’t need filling.
Your phone is in your lap, screen dim until curiosity—or maybe boredom—gets the best of you. A harmless scroll through social media, a pit stop at the tagged photos section, and suddenly you’re spiraling.
“Oh my God,” you blurt out, sitting up straighter, your thumb jabbing the screen with newfound urgency. “Joe. Joe, look at this.”
He leans in without hesitation, chin practically resting on your shoulder, his body radiating that signature warmth. His eyes squint a little, adjusting to the smaller screen, before widening in real time as the video plays—a fan edit, dramatic music swelling, quick cuts of the two of you like you’re the lead roles in some forbidden romance movie. Except it’s not just stolen glances and soft smiles. No, these people are bold.
Very bold.
Joe’s brow arches, mouth falling open slightly. “Is that—did they just—”
“They did.”
You don’t even finish the sentence because the next clip is somehow worse—or better, depending on how you look at it. And honestly, you’re not sure if you want to laugh, cry, or throw your phone across the room.
“Why is it in slow motion?” Joe asks, genuinely perplexed, his voice low and warm against your ear.
“Because that makes it dramatic,” you deadpan, thumb hovering over the screen like it might self-destruct. “Obviously.”
Joe snorts, the sound bursting out of him, and that’s what does it—you both dissolve into laughter, the kind that leaves you breathless and aching. He leans back, his head hitting the cushion with a soft thud, one hand clutching his chest like the sheer absurdity physically hurts.
“Play it again,” he gasps between laughs.
You oblige, because how could you not? The video is somehow funnier the second time around, now that you’re prepared for the dramatic zooms and questionable song choice (yes, False God by Taylor Swift). Joe wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, shaking his head.
“Do people really think we look at each other like that?” he asks, trying to catch his breath.
You glance at him, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the faint flush on his cheeks, the curve of his smile.
“I mean,” you tease, nudging his knee with yours, “they’re not completely wrong.”
His laughter softens into something quieter, something warmer. He shifts, leaning in again, his hand finding yours without thinking, fingers threading together like they always do. The TV is still on, the fan edit paused mid-dramatic frame, but none of that matters now.
“Yeah,” he says softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Guess they’re not.”
And just like that, the absurdity of fan edits fades into the background, leaving only the warmth of his gaze, the comfort of his touch, and the quiet realization that maybe the fans see something you’ve both known all along.
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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onsomenewsht · 2 days ago
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I've got peace and I've got love
About a surprise for your birthday even if you hate your birthday
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》 Alexia Putellas x Reader
》 words count: +1k
》 for anyone who needs to feel celebrated
Birthdays are a complicated matter.
You don’t hate them, no one really does.
People should be loved loudly, their mere presence on Earth should be reason enough to celebrate them.
You care about your family and your friends, baking cakes and inflating balloons and dressing up for a themed party are not a problem - you’re the first one to arrive and the last to leave.
Celebrating your birthday though? Hell, no.
For most, it doesn’t make sense.
A day in a whole year when anyone is entitled to be under the biggest spotlight, getting gifts and all the wanted attention. Yet, you’d rather hide in the remotest corner of the planet than hear someone sing “happy birthday” to you.
Despite the insistence and the repeated attempts over the years, your mother has finally accepted that you don’t want to make a big deal out of it. Your best friend has accepted that you’ll avoid a surprise party like the plague. Everyone who knows you, knows it.
Alexia included.
At least she knows now, after last year.
The two of you got together just shy of three months before your birthday. Bless her good heart, she thought a surprise ambush might be appreciated.
She’s not going to make the same mistake twice in a row, but she wants to do something.
“You told me she hates birthdays”, Alba points out, a bit confused, sipping her coffee as if her sister isn’t in the middle of an inconclusive rant.
“She hates her own, not birthdays in general”
“I still think you should just buy her a nice present, wish her a happy birthday and move on like she asked you to do”
“It seems so, I don’t know, incomplete?”, the blonde tries to explain, “How do I make sure I show how much I appreciate her if I can’t celebrate her?”
“You better celebrate her every day, not just on the birthday–”
“I do it, idiot!”
Alexia is quick in her jab, but thankfully the younger girl is used to her attitude by now.
Cup saved from any spill, Alba barely has enough patience to give another, simple pearl of wisdom, “So do it like any other day, but, you know, on her birthday”
It’s good advice, even if she’d never admit it.
Alexia spends most of her day off plotting, her free time during the week before your birthday completely taken over by careful planning and prep.
You can tell immediately that something is off, but you let it slide because she’s cute when she’s on a mission, and you don’t really want to spoil her fun.
At the stroke of midnight, like a mischievous fairy godmother, your best friend calls you to sing a personalized rendition of “Die, Die My Darling” like every year since you’re sixteen and think you’re oh-so-funny.
Your mother sends a present from the entire family, along with a picture of a cake you’re not going to eat but you’re glad they’ll enjoy in your name. Alexia’s mother and sister send flowers, and you have to reassure your girlfriend that it’s a genuinely appreciated sentiment.
Said girlfriend kisses you for every year spent on this Earth and then moves on, as if nothing happened. As if nothing is going to happen.
It’s suspicious, really suspicious.
The day passes by without any major incident.
At work just a few colleagues know it’s your birthday, they politely hand you a card with bad jokes written all over it. You mindlessly send the same three reactions at every text message, nonetheless appreciating everyone who remembered and took the time to wish you a happy birthday. A kind waitress adds a slice of dessert as you pick up take-out at your favourite Mexican place, probably prompted by Alexia when she ordered over the phone and sent you to the restaurant.
Guard down, you open the door to your girlfriend’s apartment, still not connecting the dots.
Thank the goddesses and gods above for that nice waitress, because what you find inside is definitely a first and the food wouldn’t have survived the surprise if not for the well-secured package.
Soft music - that, to your shame, you only realise too late is your favorite record - resonates through the room, which is filled with dozens of floating balloons reaching the ceiling.
You take a few tentative steps inside, noticing pictures carefully tied to each string with numbers scribbled on the corners.
Snaps of the past year, memories so simple in their significance you sometimes fail to give a good measure of. Dinners out with friends, an unflattering portrait of an early morning during the summer, the first time holding your niece. You linger over a photo of you and Alexia talking on Mapi’s couch, neither of you looking at the camera, as it’s clear you had eyes only for each other.
“I’ve never seen this one”, you whisper, emotion thick in your voice.
Your girlfriend is leaning on the further wall of the entrance, a confident stance failing to hide a note of nervousness. The way her hands are buried in the pocket of old sweatpants and her eyes are studying every single macro-expression shifting on your face are a clear tell for you.
"Ingrid sent it to me some times ago”
“It’s beautiful”
“It is”, she agrees easily, still not daring to come closer.
Alexia’s gaze drops as soon as you notice there’s a handwritten message on the back of every photo, her cheeks flushing slightly.
You take the time to read each one attentively, smiling at her thoughtfulness and the care she put into all the moments chosen. People and occasions that hold meaning for you, no matter how big or small. You feel love in every single one.
“You put a lot of thought into this”
“I had to sacrifice a couple of good ones”, she mumbles, almost upset with herself.
The commitment to matching the number of pictures to your age it’s impressive, you have to admit.
A burst of laughter fills the entire apartment, Alexia finally meeting your gaze and taking in how moved you’re by her surprise.
The fear of overstepping had been like an annoying voice, whispering in her ear as she scribbled on the back of the photos or tried to wrap gifts without running out of patience or tape.
“Do you like it?”, her doubt creeping in her voice.
“I don’t hate it”, you joke, still eager to ease her worries, “No one has ever put this much thought or effort into– I don’t know, celebrating my birthday, I guess”
“You deserve to be celebrated”
You take the few steps to fill the gap between you two, food forgotten somewhere behind, and throw yourself into her already open arms.
“Thank you”
“I love you”
The kiss you share is a clear enough answer. Sometimes, it’s not even necessary to spell it out - action speaks louder than words, they say. She holds you for as long as you need, music still playing softly in the background.
“Is this a good moment to mention that you have to open as many presents as you have in years?”
“Alexia!”
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gh0stly-mp3 · 2 days ago
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hi!!! your works are so damn interesting and well written, you are great in this regard!! can i ask, if you don't mind, sae, rin, reo, ness and kaiser with a calm gentleman s/o (headcanons but a scenario is good too)??? because they DESERVE the sweetest person in their life. just an s/o who takes care of them, does all sorts of gallant things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, like "flowers on dates are THE must" and so on??? i hope everything is fine with you, stay like that!!! 🩷
Hiii! Thanks! Especially for saying that my works are well-written, I'm trying to improve my English writing skills and this cheers me up a lot! ♡ - I love this idea btw, gentleman reader is one of my fav tropes :))
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Love like you -> bllk hcs
bllk boys x s/o gn!reader
synopsis: how some bllk boys react to you being a gentleman to them and treating them well
tags: blue lock headcanons, fluff, comfort, gentle reader, calm reader, slice of life, kinda established relationship
warnings: manga spoilers, mature language
characters: sae, rin, reo, ness and kaiser + bonus: kurona
a/n: i love doing requests hehe (they're open btw)
masterlist.
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Sae Itoshi ~ ♡
Sae would try not to show how much he loves when you take care of him and treat him like he's your prince (beacause he really is). But damn! He adores it! His favorite thing is when you bring him breakfast in bed.
He's used to being treated very cordially, always having people open doors and do everything for him, which he doesn't care much about. But, when you do it (because you love him and not because he's famous), he has conflicting feelings.
At the same time that he loves to feel personally cared for by you, he tries not to show it and keeps up the pose of "you're doing this because I'm a celebrity, not because you love me," but - deep down - his heart is warmed.
Rin Itoshi ~ ♡
Rin thinks you're so perfect, but It would take a long time for him to respond to your affection, but eventually he begins to appreciate your gentle actions and, when he has the courage, approaches you to be by your side.
He gets a little shy when you open doors or pull out chairs for him, but try not to show you. He's too afraid to get close to you and feel safe around you, just so that in the end you abandon him.
The greatest act of chivalry with Rin is to show him your love without wanting anything in return and giving him space in moments of vulnerability. The only vulnerable situation he lets you get close to him is when he's sick, where he lets you hold him.
Reo Mikage ~ ♡
People tend to treat Reo very well when they discover how many things can he buy before even looking the price. So when you showed him gentleness and care, he quickly asked - "how the hell did you know?" - but to his surprised, you didn't know about anything.
He tried to buy you things, thanking your time and consideration for his well being. But then you continued, and worse... You rejected his attemps to pay for your things.
That was a huge surprise, and after this, Reo started to get more and more nervous when you bought flowers for him. You were not serving him, you were not there for a reward, you were not interested in status. Rather, you were loving him for what and who he was.
Michael Kaiser ~ ♡
It's difficult for a prodigy to love anyone, as everybody is, technically, bellow him. Kaiser treats you well, better than he treats everyone else. But you don't let his false ego brush off your determination. Perhaps, one would need more than gentleness to get into his heart, but you know that's too much work for what he really needs. Actually, you were already inside. You just needed to make him understand how much you loved him.
So, you bring him flowers and gifts; you watch, careful, when both of you cross the street; you even brush his hair when he doesn't feel like it. But, unlike all the others, you aren't interested in the champion. You don't bow and let the title he grasps so hardly dominate you.
And he observes in horror the blue color of the roses on the table. And he turns his blushed cheeks away when a car passes by and you put your hands on his chest. And he inches with the warm of your hands on his hair. And he lets you love him, but refuses to step out of his cave.
You know he will, eventually.
Alexis Ness ~ ♡
Ness was confused, surprised and even a bit annoyed with the first time you pulled a chair for him. He was careful not to fall on a prank but when he sit, you simply smiled. He was used to serve you, never him, it was always about you. And suddenly, someone got a glass of water for him. For him. He didn't ask. He didn't even hint on anything. You simply said how hot it was. He must have been thirsty.
Now he gets irritated everytime you make something for him. You were paying attention to his needs, to his attempts on hiding everything so he can make you happy. But sometimes, you catch a glimpse of him staring at you, smiling. (he lovess it, but don't tell him that)
+ bonus
Kurona ~ ♡
He always blush when you open doors or pull out chairs for him, and whenever you do it, he places a shy kiss on your cheek or forehead.
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weirdblkgrl · 8 hours ago
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MODERN AU! SEVIKA HEADCANONS
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cw: none i think. just fluff
an: please forgive me if this is trash, this is my first post. also this is barely proofread sorry :p. also here's my modern!sevika moodboard
modern!sevika who’s love language is physical touch. she’s not great with her words like… at all. she loves to wrap her strong arms around your waist and bury her face in her neck while you’re cooking or cling onto you while she's sleeping. she won’t tell you she loves you, but she’ll tell you in other ways.
soft giggles escape your lips. “what are you doing?” you question, as sevika holds you down on the couch. she peppers slow, soft, wet kisses in a trail from your cheek, to your jaw, and down your neck. “what, i’m not allowed to kiss my girl anymore?” she replies, a cheeky smile on her face.
modern!sevika who loves to watch cheesy rom-coms with her girl. whether it’s a k-drama or an old movie, she’s pretty much down to watch anything. not only does she watch it, but she’s invested in it. she’s definitely slammed her cup on the coffee table too hard, and a bit too many times. she can’t help it, how else is she supposed to react to such a riveting plot?
sevika watches the tv screen intently, eyebrows furrowed. “wait. the head nurse is her mom? and her mom killed his mom?! what the hell?!” you can’t help but laugh and feel amused seeing her so into the show.
(any its okay not to be okay fans? :p)
modern!sevika who is actually super sweet, but only extends that curtesy to her girlfriend. i mean, let’s be real, she has the meanest rbf you have ever seen and she’s the most romantic person, to say the least. but if there’s anything she knows how to do, is take care of what’s hers.
you can’t help but plop onto your bed and let out an exasperated sigh after the day you’ve had. long meetings, a heap ton of work, and constantly complaining bosses has finally taken its toll on you. you curl up on your bed, stray tears falling from your watery eyes and soft sniffles escaping you. you were so lost in your thoughts, that you didn’t even notice sevika had arrived home. it wasn’t until you felt a dip in the bed behind you, that your cries had paused.
“what’s wrong?” you hear behind you, in a low gravelly voice as the smell of cinnamon and sandalwood settle in the air. “just…work.” you respond weakly. she hums as she wraps a strong arm around you and pulls you closer. she leaves a gentle kiss on your shoulder. "need something?"
she’ll do whatever you need her to do. she’ll go out and get food, or cook your favorite meal. she cuddle you on the couch, and let you put whatever you want on the tv. all that matters is that her girl feels better, and when she finally gets a smile out of you, she can’t help but emulate it, tooth gap and all.
modern!sevika who can speak fluent hindi. she doesn’t speak it often, but she might mumble something under breath subconsciously since it was her first language. she finds it absolutely adorable when you try to repeat after her and totally butcher the pronunciation. she appreciates the effort. you’ve also picked up a couple phrases she says often, responding in english to whatever it is she said.
not only do you try to speak her language, but she’ll try to speak any other language you do, too. despite her confident demeanor though, she gets shy, so she'll just respond in english as well.
“tengo hambre,” you groan. she scoffs, though it’s more like a laugh. “go make yourself something to eat then.” a childish pout quickly forms on your face as give her a mean side eye. sevika rolls her eyes, knowing you’re too lazy to go cook yourself a proper meal. she’ll give in, not wanting you to be hungry. “next time you’re doing this yourself,” she’ll grumble.
(obviously if not spanish whatever other language you speak)
modern!sevika who's undeniably and astonishingly good with people. it makes sense, since she is a corporate manager for a large finance company. when your friends first meet her, everyone was, understandably, intimidated. but they were surprised to find she’s actually… charming. it's easy to have a conversation with her, but only if she wants to have one. she'll make it known if she doesn't.
a small smile finds its way onto your face as you leave your friend's event. "what?" sevika asks, confused, but amused nonetheless. "nothing... just... that went better than expected." she raises an eyebrow. "what? what'd you think was gonna happen?" she asks, skeptically. "to be honest, i'm not sure, but i didn't know you were so... personable." you give her a suspicious look, "have you been hiding this skill from me?" she rolls her eyes. "dont be an idiot. how'd you think i got you head over heels for me?" she says, as she smiles cockily.
ahh she's my fave i hope you liked it :D
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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 13 hours ago
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A Curse [Chapter 2: Harbor Gateway]
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A/N: Thank you for the warm welcome you have given this series!!! I am sick with bronchitis currently so this has been a big bright spot in an otherwise miserable week 😅 I can't wait to show you where this story is going, I hope you're ready for it 🥰💜
Series summary: You are an aspiring actress. Aegon is a washed-up and disenchanted agent...at least until he sees something special in you. But within paradisical seaside Los Angeles you find terrible dangers and temptations, secrets and lies. Maybe Aegon's right; maybe the City of Angels really is a curse.
Chapter warnings: Language, a tiny bit of sexual content (18+ readers only), age-gap relationship, entertainment industry misogyny, some body dissatisfaction/dysmorphia, ice cream, judgmental parents, aggressive Akitas, we're literally in Minnesota!!!
Word count: 6.1k
💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜
Tagging: @lauraneedstochill @mrs-starkgaryen @chattylurker @neithriddle @ecstaticactus, more in comments! 🥰
🏝️ Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🏝️
Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado. On the other side of the glass is inky Minnesota night, a full moon dissolving away, glowing freckles of constellations. You’re staying with your parents and Mason has roommates, so the truck was the expedient choice. It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone.
Mason glances down at the used condom on the floor of his Silverado, hastily discarded, viscerally slick in a way that becomes sickening in the letdown, as the endorphins and the adrenaline slip away and the blood pumps slow and unclouded. He smirks as he asks: “You sure you don’t want to get back on the pill?”
You sigh, drawing another star. You are still naked and sprawled across the back seat, glistening with sweat in the moonlight. “Well I tried three different prescriptions and had three miserable experiences, and I’m really not interested in playing side effect roulette again. And I can’t risk my skin going insane and random bleeding when I’m running around all over L.A. trying to get parts.”
“What about that little sperm assassin T-shaped thing?”
You look at him. “An IUD?”
“Yeah.”
You wince, engraving another star into the steam on the window. “I don’t think I like the idea of having a piece of metal shoved up inside me.”
He laughs. “But you’ll get silicone implants?”
You shrug; you can’t deny the irony. “I don’t need an IUD to be an actress.”
“Look, I’m not complaining about the tits thing,” Mason says, holding up his hands. “Obviously I’d enjoy them too. And you’d still have them when you move home, so it’s not a waste even if the acting thing doesn’t work out.”
You already know he feels this way, and yet still, it hurts. “When I move home?”
He smiles and crawls back on top of you, his Carleton College hoodie whispering against your belly and chest, soft royal blue cotton on damp skin. He had been a Political Science and International Relations major who took Theater Arts 195: Acting Shakespeare for an arts credit. He was beyond terrible and had no appreciation for the field whatsoever, but he was tall and strong and jolly, an earnest corn-fed Midwestern boy, and when one day after class he’d asked if he could take you to Culver’s for a burger and frozen custard, you’d said yes.
Here and now, in the back seat of his Chevy Silverado, Mason kisses your forehead. Then he ghosts his thumb over the ridge of your orbital socket and cheekbone, where your dark glittery eyeshadow has smudged like a spreading bruise: Galaxy by Anastasia Beverly Hills, Elysian by Natasha Denona. “I’m not saying you aren’t good. But how many people on this planet get to be movie stars? It’s just not realistic. And it’s about so much more than talent. It’s about who you know, and luck, and chemistry, and looks, and a bunch of other things that are mostly out of your control. You’re never going to be the type of girl who’s an influencer or winning Miss America, you’re just not. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t very, very pretty. And I loved you anyway.”
Loved, past tense. You and Mason stopped using that word a year ago; now the nostalgia is painting memories like the walls of an old house. His memories, anyway. You sit up and start yanking on your clothes: oversized yellow Santa Monica crewneck, black sweatpants with elastic cuffs at the ankles. “I think I’m going to get the gummy bear implants.”
Mason licks his lips. “Yum.”
“They’re a type of silicone, but they’re supposed to feel more natural and be less dangerous if they rupture.”
“Will you have scars?” he says as if the notion has just occurred to him, troubled, perhaps a little revolted.
“Well yeah, they have to end up under my skin somehow.”
Mason shudders, then he has another thought. “Who’s going to take care of you after surgery when you’re all sore and zonked out on opioids?”
“My roommate Baela said she would. She’s had friends who have gone through it already.”
“Okay, good. I wouldn’t want you to be alone out there.” Mason touches the back of your head, a quick fond gesture. He’s the only man you’ve ever been with, and even that took a while, months of trying to envision him undressing you before you were sure you could do it without flinching, without being afraid or shy or bewildered. But in the end it had been easy, always easy, which is why you keep coming back to him like a comet. Your elliptical orbit takes you far away and then close again, and such natural patterns are effortless to keep.
You say, the edges of your lips curling into a furtive smile: “I’m definitely not alone.”
Mason groans. “You’re going to hook up with that new agent guy, aren’t you?”
“What? No! No way, he has a fiancée.”
He rolls his eyes, but he’s more amused than annoyed. “Okay, whatever.”
“You know I don’t date anyone.” Which is why each time you’re home visiting, Mason gets a text: Want to get lunch at Culver’s? or Can you drive me to Target? or Pick me up around 9 p.m.?
Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”
“I’m just grateful. Someone finally gave me a chance.” You look to the window; the steam and your hand-drawn stars have evaporated away. “And yeah, he’s interesting and he’s cute, and he’s kind of mean but then unexpectedly caring sometimes, and I think he’s one of those people who are really good at what they do but only when they’re inspired…but that doesn’t mean I’m into him romantically.” A pause. “And even if I was, there’s no harm in a super-secret, one-sided crush.”
“Okay. Have fun with all the adulterous sex.”
You chuckle. “Thanks, but that is not the plan.” You slip on your flip-flops, shimmy out of the back seat, and trot around the Silverado to the passenger’s door. Mason climbs into the driver’s seat and turns his key in the ignition. You ask: “What happened to that ballerina girl who was in your Instagram stories for a while?”
“Had to ghost her, she got super clingy and controlling. She was texting me at work all the time and got pissed off when I was putting a ton of hours into that election thing for CNN.” Mason is a political analyst. He turns to you. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”
“I think people are wonderful. You just have to find the ones you click with.”
“I should have figured you’d say something like that.” He steers his truck out of the otherwise empty parking lot in Lac Lavon Park. “I’m looking forward to you being home again.”
“I’m not.”
You both laugh, and then Mason drives you to your parents’ house.
At the dining room table, Mom and Clara are researching wedding venues, vast countryside estates and metropolitan historic hotels. Clara got engaged two weeks ago during a vacation to Turks and Caicos. In the living room, Dad and Tripp are watching commentary on the NBA Finals. Tripp’s name isn’t really Tripp; he is the third James in a row, named after your father and grandfather, and Tripp is short for triple. All over the house, there are Akitas lolling in plush dog beds and clicking around on Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors. They have faces like teddy bears, but their dark eyes track you mistrustfully, as if you are an intruder.
No one asks where you have been. They barely acknowledge that you are back. “Hello, dear,” your mother calls distractedly from the dining room, and that’s all. You jog upstairs to the bathroom you share with Clara before anyone can notice your smeared makeup and the unsavory post-car-sex sweat gleaming on your skin. You get into the shower, turn on water so hot it is nearly scalding, and close your eyes. With your back pressed to the jade green tiles, your hand wanders down over your belly and stops between your legs. Your mind cycles through fantasies, but nothing seems to be working.
It’s not real. It can’t hurt anybody.
You imagine that Aegon is the one touching you, and in under a minute it’s over.
~~~~~~~~~~
“I want there to be horses,” Clara says, scrolling through her phone and ignoring the food on her plate: roast chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in garlic and olive oil, panzanella salad. Mom prepared it all herself, not because there was no help available—your parents have a housekeeper named Angela who comes by several days per week—but to prove she could. In the living room are shelves heavy with books by Martha Stewart, Ina Garten, Cat Cora, Julia Child, Nigella Lawson. You hear echoes of ambient clicking, Akitas meandering down hallways and staircases.
“Horses?!” Tripp replies with a mouthful of mashed potatoes, gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Don’t you get enough horses in your everyday life? Don’t you have like five right out there?” Your parents’ house sits on ten acres of land, including a barn and several paddocks for Clara’s rescued Thoroughbreds.
“I want beautiful horses,” Clara insists. “Unusual, photogenic, so they can be in the background of all the photos. Maybe Friesians or Haflingers?”
“I’m not sure we can sort the venues by types of horses available, dear,” Mom says. All that’s on her own plate is a heap of green beans and a few pieces of skinless white meat chicken.
Clara moans and drops her face into her hands. “It’s so overwhelming!”
“You’ll find a place you like, Clara Bear,” Dad says mildly, painstakingly slicing meat off a drumstick with his fork and knife.
“And Owen is no help at all. Every time I ask for his opinion he just tells me to do whatever I think is best, but I don’t know what’s best, that’s why I’m asking him!”
Your mother pats Clara’s shoulder reassuringly. “Guys don’t care about weddings,” Tripp says, twisting around in his chair to see the television in the living room. On a rerun of E! News, the hosts are discussing Chris Hemsworth’s rigorous fitness regime and Meghan Trainor’s “mommy makeover.” You peek under the tablecloth. One of the Akitas, Yuki, is glaring as she waits for you to drop something for her to eat.
“You could do something like that,” Mom says to you, and you realize you haven’t been listening to the conversation.
“Sorry, do what?”
“You could be a wedding planner or a real estate agent. Those are actual careers, but there’s more creativity involved, isn’t there? And didn’t you take a design class in college? That would certainly come in handy.”
“Hm,” your father says with a frown, still dissecting his chicken. He would rather you go to law school like Tripp. You would rather lie down in traffic.
“I took a set design class, Mom. Because I was studying how to be an actress. And that’s what I’m doing right now in Los Angeles, trying to be an actress.”
“You could become an architect!” Mom bursts out with sudden enthusiasm. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”
You titter evasively. “I can’t draw, Mom. Or use the modeling software, or do math.”
“You know, you don’t need any specific degree to get into law school,” Tripp says, and your father gives him a nod of approval. “You could have majored in dance or bagpiping or Egyptology, it doesn’t matter. All they want is a high undergrad GPA and a 168+ LSAT score, and I bet you could get that if you studied. You can even retake the test a few times if you need to.”
“Why do you do that?” Clara snaps at him. You eat your panzanella salad and pretend not to be listening. Beneath the tablecloth, Yuki growls. You toss her a few cubes of Italian bread so she won’t bite you.
Tripp shovels mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Do what?”
“Why are you always wasting your time trying to convince her to grow up and get a real job? If she wants to embarrass herself, let her. I have problems that I’m trying to solve, so how about applying yourself to those instead?”
“Are you serious? You think I should be calling around to wedding venues asking about their selection of exotic draft horses?”
Clara aggressively stabs at her green beans with her fork. “Fuck off, Tripp.”
“Hey, hey, kids, no swearing,” your mother says. “It’s Father’s Day. Be respectful.”
Dad turns to you. “You could be an entertainment lawyer, how about that? You could work in intellectual property or negotiating contracts.”
You smile warily. “I’ll think about it, Dad.”
Clara says to your parents: “Well I hope all the money you’re throwing out the window to support her in California isn’t coming out of my wedding fund.”
You close your eyes and think: I can’t spend my life in a cubical. I can’t spend every minute of every day trying to forget who I am.
“Shh, shh,” your mother pleads, rubbing the back of Clara’s clenched hand. “You will get exactly what we promised you, that amount is still set aside for your wedding. Nothing she does affects you.”
“And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies.
Your father is now asking Tripp about his summer associate position at Latham & Watkins in Chicago. Your mother is advising Clara to get a wedding dress with a corset back so it can be adjusted in the event she gains or loses weight at the last minute. Underneath the table, Yuki is growling again; she noses your knees threateningly.
“I got an agent,” you say, and everyone looks at you.
“Really?” Mom asks, sounding a little perplexed.
“Who is it?” Dad says.
“Aegon Targaryen. He has a small office in Elysian Park.”
“Oh, I think I recognize the last name.”
“His family is in the industry.” You are beaming; you can feel the heat rising in your face. “But Aegon kind of does his own thing and tries to stay out of the limelight. He was an actor when he was my age. And I guess he thinks I can get roles, so that’s really exciting.”
Your mother seems concerned as she nibbles at a shred of white meat. “Is he an older man?”
“Not that much older. He’s thirty-five.”
“Well, be careful, darling,” your father says gravely. “Who knows what his intentions are.”
Clara evidently agrees. “Men can be so creepy. I had this one professor in pharmacy school who cheated on his wife with one student, then cheated on her six months later with a different student. And then he retired to Boca Raton and was never heard from again.”
“Oh, that reminds me!” Tripp says to your father. “We read about Clinton v. Jones in torts class, it was wild, I didn’t know he was such a freak even before the Monica Lewinsky thing…”
After dinner, while your father and Tripp are flipping through television channels in the living room and Clara is upstairs on the phone with Owen, you go to the kitchen where your mother is washing dishes in a bubble-filled sink. Again, she doesn’t have to do this; Angela will be here to clean the house tomorrow. But it’s part of being a perfect homemaker, and if she’s not good at this then she’s not good at anything.
She glances over when she hears you come in. “Did you get an appointment with one of the doctors your father recommended?”
“I did, yeah. I have a consultation on Friday.” You lean against the marble countertop and cross your arms so you don’t fidget nervously. From a dog bed on the floor, Mochi glowers at you. “Do you think I should get the surgery?”
She shrugs; you’re not certain if she is more indecisive or apathetic. “Your cousin Madison had a nose job the summer before college. Your old classmate Emma got a blepharoplasty and then met her husband three months later. Practically all of my friends have had breast augmentations, and I’ve certainly never regretted mine. I think if you’re going to get anything fixed, it makes sense to pick that.”
You try again to elicit a strong opinion, whether an endorsement or objection. “I don’t think I’d want to do it if I didn’t feel like it was necessary to be an actress.”
“Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless.”
You stare at Mochi distractedly. The dog huffs, unwelcoming. “What was the recovery like?”
“Oh, hell,” your mother says. “But once you heal up it’s worth it. I can wear square necklines and strapless dresses again.”
“Technically, you could have worn whatever you wanted.”
She gives you an impatient look, a you’re too old for that sort of frustration. “No one wants to see some sad flabby woman.” She is including your father in this statement. You remember being home for Thanksgiving Break during your freshman year at Carleton and inadvertently stumbling upon emails from one of the hospital interns when you used his laptop to buy movie tickets: indecent inuendoes, flirtatious photos, no smoking gun but certainly more than was appropriate between colleagues. You had tried to tell your mother, and she had deflected over and over again until you realized that she didn’t want to know; it was easier to be carried by the currents of momentum than to rock the boat until it sank. “This agent of yours…is he celebrating Father’s Day with his family?”
“No, Aegon lost his dad when he was in college.”
“That must have been difficult,” she says vaguely as she scrubs a pot with a green Scotch-Brite dish wand. Your parents are now at the age when their friends have begun to succumb to strokes and heart disease and cancers, and the lurking specter of mortality both horrifies and fascinates them. “What did he die of?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Mom?!” Clara shouts from upstairs. “Osaka is puking in the hallway!”
Your mother sighs and dries her hands on a dish towel, then leaves you alone in the kitchen. You linger there for a while, listening to the faint drone of CNN from the living room television, then leave the house through the sliding glass door in the dining room. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.
A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy
You laugh and respond: They belong to my sister, I am personally very anti-horse
You hope he’ll continue the conversation. You don’t have to wait long. How’s Minnesota? Aegon asks.
You stop and consider how to answer, then decide not to overshare. Devoid of palm trees…but good!
There is a pause—perhaps thirty seconds—and then Aegon types: How’s the ex-boyfriend?
Is he curious or jealous? You smile. Still not standing in the way of anything :)
Aegon reacts with a heart emoji, then immediately switches it to a thumbs-up. You cannot ignore the wave of warmth and fondness and exhilaration that overwhelms you. Logically, you know he’s engaged to another woman. Emotionally, it doesn’t seem relevant.
You think: It’s just a crush. It can’t hurt anybody.
Then you remember what your mother asked, and as you stand outside in the fading dusk light you Google Aegon’s father Viserys Targaryen. He has his own Wikipedia page. You scroll to the bottom, where it reads in nondescript black letters: On October 27, 2009, Targaryen passed away at his Malibu residence after a long illness.
~~~~~~~~~~
You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you.”
“What?” You look towards the ice cream freezer and there he is, dark jeans, green Nike Killshots, a yellow Hawaiian shirt that’s too big for him. “It’s my agent!” you shout as you rush over to meet him, loud enough that everyone in the shop turns to stare.
“Shh,” Aegon says, but he’s laughing.
“What are you doing here?” you ask from behind the counter.
“I got some good news, and I wanted to tell you in person.”
“Cool! Should I make you ice cream first?”
“Um, sure.” Aegon surveys the menu of Signature Creations. He seems overwhelmed; he actually looks a little panicked.
“Are you usually a chocolate or vanilla person? Or peanut butter, or coffee? Or mint?”
“Strawberry,” Aegon says.
“Strawberry,” you echo, surprised. “Okay, I think you’ll like Our Strawberry Blonde.”
“Neat.”
“Because, you know, it has strawberries and you’re blonde.”
“Sounds literally perfect for me,” Aegon says, smiling.
“What size?”
“Uh…” He reads the labels on the cups in the display case. “The big one.”
“No, you have to say the real name.”
He chuckles. His cheeks are pink, his turbulent blue eyes sparkling. “I’m not saying that.”
“Then I’m not making you ice cream!”
He groans. “I want an Our Strawberry Blonde in the size Gotta Have It.”
“Cup, cone, or waffle cone bowl?”
“Stop asking me questions or you’re fired.”
“Waffle cone bowl,” you decide. Aegon studies you as you work, his head tilted thoughtfully to the side: scraping a mound of strawberry ice cream out of the freezer with your metal spatulas, taking it to the cold countertop, and smashing in graham cracker pie crust, caramel, fluffy whipped topping, and fresh strawberries. You use one of the spatulas to expertly scoop the mixture into a waffle cone bowl, not spilling a drop. Then you hand Aegon his ice cream and ring him up at the cash register. He pays in cash.
You ask Josh, the manager on duty, if you can take your fifteen-minute break now. He frowns. “I thought you were going to refill the yellow cake and Oreo cookie mix-ins first.”
“Hey,” Aegon says. He waves a ten-dollar bill in the air to show it to Josh and then dunks it in the tip jar. “Do it yourself.”
“Fine,” Josh mutters to you. “But you don’t get a second over fifteen minutes.”
There’s no time to waste. You hurry to a small table by the window. It’s 8:30 p.m., and outside the world is indigo-dark and threaded with inorganic sparks of headlights, streetlights, kaleidoscopic neon signs. Your eyeshadow is vibrant and pink, because no one cares about that when you work at an ice cream shop: Push by Natasha Denona, Coax by Urban Decay.
Aegon takes his first taste of his ice cream as he sits down in the chair across from you. “You were right, this is delicious. A bop, not a flop.” Then he notices the bruise on your right wrist. “What the hell happened to your hand?”
“Oh. One of the Akitas bit me. Don’t worry, I can cover it up with concealer.”
Aegon is irritated. “Why is your mother letting her Akitas bite you?”
“It was my fault. I forgot that Oni doesn’t like when people pet his feet.”
Aegon sighs, stirring his Our Strawberry Blonde. “You want some of this?”
“I can’t,” you say reluctantly.
He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you can’t?”
“I already had a little cup when I got here this afternoon so I have regrettably hit my ice cream quota for the day.” And then, when Aegon clearly does not approve: “I try not to restrict too much but obviously staying the same size takes effort. That’s not a disorder, it’s just reality.”
Aegon seems to debate arguing, then instead scoops up a heaping spoonful of ice cream and holds it out across the table. “Come on. It doesn’t count if it’s on my spoon.”
You smile sheepishly and open your mouth for him. Your lips close around the plastic spoon: coldness, sweetness, the grit of pulverized graham cracker pie crust, the infinitesimal black seeds of strawberries that catch between your teeth. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.
“Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”
“I am,” you confess. “I know the joke. But I really do always get the vanilla-adjacent flavors. Cookie dough, French vanilla, sweet cream, cheesecake…”
Aegon smirks playfully. “Pathetic.”
“So you’re an enlightened being because you eat strawberry ice cream.”
“Boring people like vanilla. Kids like chocolate. Interesting adults like strawberry.”
“Do you actually have good news for me or did you just come here to be a ghoul?”
“I got you a part.”
“What?!” you squeal, and people are gawking again. This time, Aegon doesn’t tell you to be quiet. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he replies, grinning like he can’t help it.
“A part in what?”
“It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”
You scream; Josh scowls at you from behind the counter. “Oh my God, no way, no way!”
“You’re going to be the wife of a guy the doctors kill with negligence. Three scenes, two are pretty short and unremarkable but then you get to yell at the surgeon in the last one. Gives you the opportunity to show some range and make an impression.”
You can’t believe this is happening. “They aren’t going to make me audition first?”
“Well…it’s very last-minute,” Aegon says. “The actress who was supposed to do it has a drug problem or something, I guess, so she ghosted and they were scrambling for a replacement. And I completely fabricated your credentials.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah, I typed up a resume and sent it over and they loved it. So try not to talk about your actual experience because none of it will match.”
You shake your head, stunned, amazed. “What if they try to contact one of my alleged former employers?”
“Then they’ll be talking to Aemond, and he will lie and say you were an absolute pleasure to work with.”
Aemond Targaryen: Aegon’s younger brother, a screenwriter, a philanthropist, a well-respected entity in Hollywood, and you know this from the Googling that preceded your first meeting with Aegon last week. “And Aemond doesn’t mind helping you commit fraud?”
“It’s not a favor I call in very often.” Aegon finishes his ice cream, then begins breaking apart the waffle cone bowl and shoving shard-like pieces into his mouth.
“When’s the shoot?”
“Very very early on Thursday, that’s the bad news.” Thursday is two days from now. “So I’ll have to pick you up at your apartment at like 5 a.m.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”
He smiles, gnawing on a chunk of his waffle cone bowl. “I figured.”
“You’re going too?” The hope is unmistakable in your voice.
“Of course I’m going.”
“I didn’t think agents usually went to film shoots.”
“Well, fortunately for you, your agent is imminently fleeing Los Angeles and has already parted ways with most of his clients and really has nothing else going on besides hiding in his office and playing a Nintendo 64, so I figured I could make it. And also if I’m going to be enthusiastically recommending you to people, I should probably see you work at some point.”
You wiggle your eyebrows flirtatiously. “Do I get to make out with my fake husband?”
Aegon is amused. “From what I understand, you get to chastely kiss him once. They’re sending the script over to my office first thing in the morning, so you’ll only have a day to learn your lines.”
“That’s enough time. I’ll make it work.”
“Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.
Thursday. “Is the shoot just one day?”
“Yeah, they should be able to get everything they need from you on Thursday morning. Why?”
“I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I was just wondering if I’d have to reschedule it.”
Aegon is immediately vigilant. “What kind of appointment?”
“Uh…” You smirk guiltily. “It’s just a consultation. No slicing yet.”
“And you’re going to cancel that,” Aegon says flatly.
“Seriously?”
“Do you want implants because you want them or because you think other people want you to have them?”
You hesitate. “Both.” That’s probably a lie.
Aegon leans back in his chair and studies you. “Yeah, you’re cancelling that appointment.”
“Why?”
“Because when I agreed to sign you, you told me that you’d do anything I say. And I’m telling you to cancel it.”
“But why don’t you want me to get implants? Everyone gets implants.”
“Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—it’s very difficult to stop. First it’s your tits, then it’s your eyes and your nose, then it’s your chin and your cheeks and your neck and your ass, and it’s just this revolving door of painful, dangerous, unnecessary procedures that are condemning you for being mortal, that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”
You smile, then reply quietly: “You’ve never seen me.”
Aegon grins. “I don’t care if you have twelve nipples under there like a fucking beagle, you don’t need plastic surgery.”
You both laugh, and the tension evaporates, and even if you don’t cancel the appointment—Aegon is one person, the entertainment industry is omnipotent and eternal—you are glad he seems to like you the way you are. Behind the counter, Josh is waving manically to get your attention and summon you to return to work. You pretend not to see him.
Aegon asks: “Why don’t you like horses?”
“They freak me out. They’re all teeth and legs and they’re huge, I’m always scared they’ll step on me.”
“Your dad’s a doctor, right? I thought all rich girls had horses.”
“Where I’m from, a lot of women ride horses to distract themselves from the fact that their husbands are riding their receptionists or interns. I’d rather have no horse and no awful cheating husband.” And Aegon stares at you and turns serious, because perhaps you’ve inadvertently addressed the elephant in the room: he has a fiancée, and neither of you are acting like she exists. You swiftly pivot. “I’ll make an exception for you, though.”
He appears startled. “What?”
“The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” Aegon chuckles uneasily and gets up to throw his trash away, then stands under the florescent lights with his hands in his pockets, his blonde hair falling out of its gel and hanging over his forehead. He gazes down at you pensively; you are still seated at the table. “When does your shift end?”
“I’m closing tonight, so I’ll be done around 10:30 or 11.”
“Okay. Can I come back to pick you up and drive you home?”
You are puzzled. “Why?”
He gestures to the inky dark window, incredulous. “Because obviously you shouldn’t be walking alone in Harbor Gateway at midnight? You know there was a shooting a block from here last week. I looked it up.”
“I walk home all the time.”
“You really need to stop doing that.”
“You are being very dramatic for a non-actor.”
“Listen, I can’t go to my house and try to fall asleep while I’m wondering if you’re getting mugged or murdered.”
You look at Aegon. He does seem genuinely worried. “You can drive me home.”
“Great. See you in two hours.” He strides away and shoves open the glass door; the little metal bells hanging there jingle.
“Aegon?”
He halts mid-step and turns around. “Yeah?”
“Does Becca know where you are right now?”
His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”
And before you can reply, he’s gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
On Thursday, June 19th, Aegon picks you up in his white Chrysler Sebring convertible while the city is still asleep. The sky is dark, the streetlights passing by overhead, infinite pinpoint supernovas. There are hardly any other cars on the road. Aegon’s hair is a mess and his eyes are bleary; he’s sipping a Starbucks coffee with one hand and holding the steering wheel with the other. He is wearing a suit, but he still manages to look unpolished, his white shirt half-untucked and his black tie too skinny. He sets his coffee down in one of the cup holders and passes you something venti-sized and iced.
“I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”
“Aw, thanks! Skim milk?”
“Nope,” he says, smiling. You smile back and take a gulp of it, cold and sweet and bracing. “What’s your hype song?”
“I can’t tell you,” you say, embarrassed.
“Why not?”
“You’re going to terrorize me.”
“Don’t Stop Believing? Don’t Stop Me Now? I Gotta Feeling?”
“Lose Yourself.”
Aegon throws back his head and cackles, his hair flying in the wind. “That’s definitely a fireable offense. I’m ditching you the second we finish this shoot.” But he taps around on his phone and plugs in the aux, and then Eminem is thudding through the speakers as the Sebring sails north and the red-gold dawn rises on the horizon, a celestial message from the East Coast, an omen from the future.
Aegon drives you to Prospect Studios in Los Feliz, just east of Hollywood. Filming will be indoors on a soundstage. You spend what feels like forever in hair and makeup, and the costume designer—who had prepared for a different actress—dresses and redresses you over and over again, frowning at your chest and waist and thighs, and you have a sudden pang of nauseating panic and dread: I don’t belong here. What the fuck was I thinking?
Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.
But when it’s over, while you are still standing on the soundstage with the other actors, Aegon puts on his sunglasses and smiles at you from across the room; and you remember what he said outside his office on the day you first met—you are so bright, sunshine—and you know you’ve done a good job.
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gogogyaru · 2 days ago
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AN INTERVIEW & PHOTOSHOOT WITH AYUYUN!! (2018)
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Ayu – “While gal culture takes a variety of forms, I'm affiliated with the Ganguro genre, an original Japanese culture which isn’t just about style and beauty but a way of life. Whilst some Gyaru’s came and went with the fashion wave a while ago, Gyaru’s still exist and continue against the fashion trends and have strong policies and mind-sets. I knew about the Ganguro since the beginning, I wrote to their blogs, those Ganguro’s I met were my entry-point to the culture, it's liberating to connect with like-minded people and we all became fast friends. I've been part of this community for fourteen years. Some people have really taken to the Ganguro aesthetic, they'll see us on the street and rush over in amazement. The whole package is key but the most important is having dark skin, there is the showy makeup, hairdos, and nails. If you don't show skin, you're not a gal, Japanese people like tanned skin, it’s unusual. Our style wouldn’t be able to continue if we cared about how others thought of us all the time. ‘You only live once’ - there is quite a bit of this kind of mind-set in Gyaru’s – this idea that you only have one life, so you have to ‘seize the moment’ and enjoy it to the full without worrying about how you look to others. I just want to stay true to myself. However we're a minority and we are misunderstood by society. We are used to people hurling abuse and even garbage at us. I guess you could say we all have great skill for just not caring about those kinds of things. It's as though we're treated as sub-human, even though we have hearts, some people really think we're strange. People judge by appearances and those who want to spend time with the real me don't care about that. My boyfriend is a normal guy, so there have been problems. He doesn't mind introducing me to his seniors, but some people might think he's an odd-ball but he's dating me for the person I am inside. Thanks to the internet, there are girls all over the world who admire Gyaru fashion. I would be thrilled if someone told me that meeting me has changed the way they appreciate our culture.”
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judesmoonbeauty · 13 hours ago
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A Day With Jude Jazza: Chapter Two "13:00 Working at Raven & Lunch"
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TW: Weight discussion. Idk if this really needs it or not, but I added it just in case.
Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.
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I’m working hard at Raven today too —
(I’ve been working non-stop, but I wonder if I’ll be able to finish this….)
The moment I gulped at the mountain of documents in front of me…..
Jude: Do ‘em perfectly.
He showed up and said that, so I stopped what I was doing and puffed my cheeks.
Kate: Isn’t there some kind of reward for your girlfriend who works so hard?
Jude: What kinda reward?
Kate: Hmm, like taking me out for lunch…?
Jude: ….Tch.
Then his finger came up to my forehead,
Kate: Ouch!
I reflexively squeezed my eyes shut because of the force of the forehead flick —
(…..It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.)
Opening my eyes, he let out an annoyed sigh and turned around.
Jude: Let’s make tracks.
Kate: What?
Jude: Lunch, let’s go.
Kate: Coming!!
Kate: It’s my first time coming to this restaurant, but it’s super delicious.
Ellis: Good, I’m glad you’re happy Kate.
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While eating a tasty meat-dish and chatting with Ellis,
Jude: ……
I heard the sound of a fork being put down next to me, and when I looked over he had stopped eating, leaving the fatty part untouched.
Kate: That’s such a waste.
The plate was silently brought to me, as if telling me to eat, so I ate the fatty portion.
After that, Jude made an exasperated look.
Jude: You’ll gain weight if ya eat like that each ‘n every time.
(Actually, I have been a bit worried about that recently….)
Kate: Isn’t it because you’re handing your plates over to me, Jude?
Jude: Didn’t say t’eat it.
Jude: Yer the one sayin’ it’s a waste not t’eat it.
(I can’t deny that…..)
Jude: ‘N ya eat more sweets than me’, innit?
Ever since we started dating, I felt like it was a waste to leave any of the fat and sweets on the plate,
So when I look over, the plate gets closer to me, and before I know it, I end up eating it.
Ellis: But I think it’s nice to see Kate eating it deliciously.
Kate: Ellis……
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Ellis was sitting across from me and kindly smiles.
Feeling a bit happy, I brought the dessert to my lips without hesitation.
That’s when Jude’s fingers stroke my thigh under the table —
Kate: Urk!
Jude: Ya really have put on weight, haven’tcha?
His warped smile irritated me, so I lightly pinched his hand.
Kate: This is what I do to people who say such things.
Jude: Ha, don’t hurt none.
His hand let go of my thigh, and he took a bite of the dessert,
Jude: Work back the weight gain.
He didn’t seem to like the sugary taste, and immediately put down his fork.
Jude: Got the perfect job for ya.
Kate: What is it?
Jude: Deliver all o’ the finished documents to the department heads in the company.
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Kate: That much?!
Thinking back to all the documents left on my desk, I felt overwhelmed.
Jude: Kate.
Kate: Yes, [MUMPH]
Bite by bite, he feeds me his dessert.
Kate: Wai-, Jude, Ju-
As soon as I gulped down the last mouthful, he flashed a wicked smile.
Jude: Ya ate desserts for two, so ya can work fer that much, yeah?
Kate: —You DEMON!
Jude: Ha!
As we glared at each other, I heard Ellis’ heartwarming voice,
Ellis: Hehe, Jude and Kate, you both look like you’re having fun today too.
Jude & Kate: Ain’t havin’ fun. • I’m not having fun.
And so, the lunch break ends.
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[Event Master list] [Next - ⏱♡ 16:00 - Negotiations at Twilight]
I want to be spoiled and fed by Jude too.......
Dividers: @.adornedwithlight
If you wish to be added to my translations tag list, and are +18 YO, then please comment below! If you wish to be removed, please do the same.
Tag list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @injudescoat @aeyumicore @complexivelovely @cosmowgyral @lunaaka @rosalyne08 @8the-perfect-lie8 @voydsoul @goustmilk @kraiyne
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razorblade180 · 2 days ago
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Alter Ego
Summer:Mom, can I dye my hair?
Weiss:Nope. Find another way to rebel.
Summer:It’s not about rebelling. There’s an underground open mic concert in Mantle. I’m tired of wearing hoods and masks as a disguise. It gets in the way of my singing.
Weiss:….
Summer:What?
Weiss:You’ve seen me in a black wig and red eyes and thought you had to dye your hair? Make an alter ego. *points to closet*
Summer:Really!?
Weiss:Yeah. Knock yourself out. Find what works.
Summer:Yussss! *dives into closet*
Two hours passed by and a lot of clothes begin pile up.
Jaune:*walks in* Hey I’m back. Brought coffee.
Nora:And friends~
Ruby:Technically family. I’m here to raid your fridge.
Ren:I’m here to make sure Nora doesn’t.
Weiss:Can you stop Ruby? *sips coffee*
Ren:One is hard enough.
Ruby:What’s with the fashion storm? Coco call you for a show?
Weiss:My daughter is currently in the closet trying on her fortieth altar ego disguise for an underground concert.
Jaune:So in the end, I did have a child with Bleiss.
Weiss:You and her had many things, a child is not one of them.
Jaune:Not for lack of trying.
Weiss:*red* That’s for sure.
Ruby:You two are gross.
Summer:You’re all gross if you ask me!
Weiss:Are you ready yet!? You have an entire audience now.
Summer:Oh yeah! This is the one! I’m definitely feeling it!
The door slides open and Summer jumps out. Time itself felt a thousand times slower as a bright red ponytail came into view. Stunning green contact lens caused coffee to go down poorly, choking Weiss while the others felt frozen.
Summer popped out with the widest grin. She wore a small black leather jacket over a dark green shirt with yellow nerves running down it from the left shoulder. Black tights were worn under a matching studded miniskirt that paired will with green and yellow laced black boots. Summer never felt cooler in her life!
WRNJR:..
Summer:Pretty awesome right!? I’m usually not into skirts but i figured if I’m trying to be unrecognizable, this is how to do it! Oh! Maybe I need punk rock gloves or something. How are feeling about the red wig and green hair combo?
Jaune:Umm-
Summer:Gonna be honest, I think I look pretty cute. Never tried these colors together like…it works! *grinning*
Ruby:Are we married to the idea of the ponytail?
Summer:It’s for head banging on stage! It’ll probably come out a little later or if I get a headache. Dad, how do I look?
Jaune:…*smiles* Like you’re ready to wow the world.
Summer:Hehe, right!? I can see why you like red so much auntie. I’m feeling pretty confident right about now. *stands proudly*
Ren:Like you’re invincible?
Summer:Yeah! You get it.
Nora:*smiles warmly* You’re going to need a name.
Weiss:Be better than me your aunt.
Ruby:Bleiss was a good idea.
Weiss:No, it was the only idea and it stuck.
Summer:Welp…Winter is taken. How about Autumn?
WRNJR:Try again….
Summer:Wow, tough crowd. Hmmm.
Weiss:….Gild. Like the process.
Summer:Aah, that’s nice. Has a sense of irony to it considering this is a disguise! Not to mention the yellow. Gild, people can chant that! Now for a last name for the announcers…*rubs chin*
Nora:JNRR
Ren:You’re asking for her to get caught. Especially if you want her to spell it like I think you do.
Jaune:…Go with Arkos. With a “k”
Weiss:!? Jaune, are you…alright with that?
Jaune:*nods* I never really got to use it. Might as well finally be a code name.
Summer:Isn’t using something close to your last name a little risky?
Jaune:Trust me, nobody will get it.
Summer:I guess that’s true if I spell it like you said. Heh, I kinda always wanted to use your surname in something. Schnee gets bothersome.
Weiss:Agreed.
Summer:And hey, it’s kinda like I’m still honoring you too auntie! I can’t use Summer, but Arkos is pretty close to Arc-Rose.
Ruby:That’s definitely one way to look at that name. Hehe, I appreciate the sentiment.
Gild:Gild Arkos. Hmm, not half bad. Let’s make it a test run and i can work out the details if this goes well. Oh this concert is gonna rule! I can finally go all out and sing songs i don’t get the chance to. I gotta go find my journals and pick! Thanks guys! Love ya. *runs off*
……..
Weiss:I’m sorry this spiraled so quickly. You can take the coffee back and raid the fridge.
Ren:I don’t think anyone would’ve imagined out of all the makeup combinations…Do you think we could convince her to change contacts?
Nora:I’m sure when she stops caring about what she should sing on a “proper stage” this phase will end.
Jaune:It’s fine guys. She’s happy. Besides, if she’s like her mother, it’ll be a random occurrence. That being said, I never realized our kids might only know Pyrrha’s image through her statue.
Ruby:We don’t exactly have many photos together, do we? She we show her?
Jaune:Maybe another time. Let my girl be a rockstar.
Nora:You just don’t want your daughter to see you in a dress.
Jaune:And?
Weiss:*rubs his back* I guess the world really is full of surprises. You sure you’re alright?
Jaune:Cut me a little slack. I may not be invincible but I know how to roll with the punches. *grins* If you think I need cheering up though, I’m sure Bleiss has some ideas.
Weiss:*blushing*…She might.
Ruby:Eugh. Raiding your fridge. C’mon you two. *walking away*
Ren:Ruby, don’t you literally sleep with her brother at his office for fun?
Ruby:And that right there is why I’m helping Nora get passed you so she can help eat everything. You’ve drawn your line in the sand.
Nora:Honestly I’m interested in the idea of changing my wardrobe for laughs. Remember my goth phase? That was fun.
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atangledfate · 2 days ago
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Altriss was rather tall for a mobian standing round about 4 and a half feet tall, though he was quick slender and a bit lanky. His tail coiled off to one side swished from side to side as if agitated constantly. If he had a rattle it would certainly have been going crazy. His scales were as white and pristine as snow, and his pink eyes betrayed his albinism. Yet he had a stern stare, that told of his no non-sense attitude. A small pack of nicotine gum in his pocket also told of a habit he was still working to break.
The serpent grabbed a chart from a door to give it a glance before his eyes returned to the Scorpion. On the one hand he wanted to bite the man right then and there, but that was just his distaste for how GUN was fine with making people suffer. If he had his way he'd send them all packing.
" Wouldn't be needed if your bosses would let my staff back on base... funny how you lot preach about wanting to be the good guys, but you only show up to make problems "
He said rather bluntly as he slid the chart back into place on the wall and turned to fully stand over the Scorpion. Looming over him with a very judgmental stare.
" I'm Doctor Altriss, Head Physician of Restoration Medical... I take care of the the VOLENTEERS who work here. Believe or not nobody here is a soldier... or otherwise. Some have combat experience... but who doesn't these days "
He motioned to the West Wing with his lone clawed fingers
" I've separated the people you'd consider to be Soldiers and civilians into two wings. You can start moving the civilians who are stabled, which is most of them. Are a couple who have bones that need set or, deeper injuries that i'm not ready to let be moved but, as soon as they can we'll start moving them. "
He was honestly grateful they didn't look into him to much. His past was full of mistakes he was trying very hard to forget. He use to peddle drugs after all and there wasn't really anyway to hide that fact. He got his sentence commuted thankfully thanks to his work during the war. But it was still a mark on his past he couldn't escape, and one he was often judged for. Even Jewel was leery of hiring him and he respected her immensely for at least giving him a chance.
" Hmm? no need, i already administered one to the victim... its slow acting but has less chance of damaging the cells. Though we appreciate you bringing it all the same. "
He grabbed a chart and handed it to Tanzan
" Now are still people who need help... if you can find the time i'd appreciate the aid... mostly burn victims. Though some trauma to, the crash did alot of damage to the surrounding buildings. There were some fires though i hear those are under control now..."
"I like to think myself as simply sponsored by G.U.N and in return I do favors for them from time to time. This is one such moment." That said his services were rarely called for as his research tends to help G.U.N so they typically have no need to ask for favors. Whoever made this request had some friends who were at least up there in the totem pole of G.U.N. Perhaps not like Lupus or others, though still up there.
He would follow the mouse where the doctor was while lazily applying the sticker onto his lab coat. Soon enough the scorpion was now face to face with the doctor he was meant to assist. "I'm more of a scientist, though I am a legal doctor and have a license. I'm mainly here just to keep the assistances in check and because G.U.N's paranoia of you trying to sneak out soldiers. Though I shall assist if you ask me to. I hope it is quick as I do have preparations to finish to contain that tenrec." He may take G.U.N funding, though even he saw their faulty logic at time.
"Though I did take the time to make an antidote for Mimic's venom though should flush it out of someone's system in a few minutes." Say what you will about G.U.N, though they only gave you the best to work with. Did he find it odd they assumed they'd need it? Yes, though he didn't care as he doesn't mess with the political side.
"I suppose names are in order even if I doubt we'll work again in the future. I am Doctor Tanzan. I was given a bit of information on you, though not much." That was a lie as G.U.N had an entire file on him, though figured this wasn't the place to bring it up. Tanzan was sure Altriss would be aware of that.
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aspenmissing · 23 hours ago
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Hello my dear!
Sooo, I'm a huge fan of reading (especially reading fantasy books). And I can't get the headcanon out of my head. Where Viktor x Reader having a cozy evening in their shared apartment. And out of the sudden, Viktor is showing interests for Readers book. With every question he is asking, she feels, like she's falling in love with him all over again. And feels loved and appreciated for his interest in her hobby. So she just wants to cuddle and kiss him so badly.
Like, seriously....I would be on my knees for a moment like this in rl! ;---;
ꜰᴀꜱᴛᴇꜱᴛ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ
ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ || ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ/ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ || 2352 ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ || ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ɴ/ᴀ
ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ: ᴏʜ. ᴍʏ. ɢᴏᴅ! ᴍʏ ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴀɴᴏɴ, ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴇʟʟᴏᴡ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ - ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ… ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪꜰᴜʟ. ɪꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ɪ'ᴅ ᴍᴀʀʀʏ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɪɴ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙᴇᴀᴛ!
ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ
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It was one of those peaceful evenings in their shared apartment, the kind that only came after a long day of work, filled with little moments of quiet bliss. The soft hum of the city outside mingled with the warmth of the fire crackling in the hearth. Viktor had finally set aside his cane for the evening, resting in a comfortable armchair, his back relaxed but his gaze still filled with a quiet intensity. Y/N sat beside him on the couch, a book open in her lap. Her fingers gently turned the pages as she found herself fully immersed in the world of myths and legends, a world far removed from the realities of Piltover.
Viktor, however, had been restless, his mind working over a small project on the table. The sound of gears clicking and metal pieces shifting filled the air, but it wasn’t the usual mechanical rhythm that usually filled their home. Tonight, there was something else in Viktor’s eyes. It wasn’t his usual focused intensity, but something gentler, more present. She noticed him glance over at her a few times, his gaze soft, almost as if he were seeing her in a new light.
"Y/N," Viktor’s voice broke the quiet, soft but full of curiosity. "What is it you're reading, Lásko?" (Love)
Y/N smiled up at him, a warmth spreading through her chest at the sound of his voice, always so attentive. She couldn’t help but feel special when he asked. “It’s a novel about myths and legends from the Vastaya people,” she explained. “A collection of stories that weave together history, magic, and forgotten realms. It’s one of my favourites.”
Viktor leaned back in his chair, resting his cane against the side, his focus shifting from his project to her. “The Vastaya… I know them in passing, but I’ve never had the chance to truly learn much about their myths. Why does this particular book resonate with you?”
Y/N closed the book and looked over at him, her heart swelling slightly at the genuine interest he showed. "I think it’s because these myths remind me of where I come from,” she said, her voice softening with the emotion she carried. “They tell stories of things I feel in my bones, things I can't always explain. There's a connection to my roots in them, something deeper than what words can fully capture.”
Viktor’s expression softened, his eyes taking on a more tender look as he processed her words. “That’s… beautiful, Y/N,” he said quietly. “I can understand why it would be so meaningful to you. You have such a deep connection to your heritage. It’s truly a part of who you are.”
Y/N smiled, feeling both grounded and uplifted by Viktor’s words. It wasn’t often that he opened up about how he saw her, and when he did, it left her feeling cherished in a way she couldn’t quite describe. She glanced at the book in her lap, then back at him, her gaze lingering for a moment.
“Tell me more about the myths,” Viktor urged, his voice soft but filled with curiosity. “What’s your favourite story from this book? I want to know everything.”
Her heart fluttered at his genuine interest. Every question he asked made her feel more seen, more understood. She leaned back into the couch, her fingers tracing the edge of the book, the words tumbling out of her mouth as she began to describe one of the legends, about the ancient guardians of her people. Her voice grew more animated as she spoke, the passion in her words unmistakable. Viktor’s gaze never wavered, and his attention was unwavering. He was completely absorbed in her every word, hanging on to each syllable as if it held an entirely new world for him.
When she finished, he leaned forward slightly, his voice low and full of admiration. “It sounds… enchanting,” Viktor said, his voice barely above a whisper. “The way you describe it, it’s as if the myths come alive through your words. I’d love to see more of what inspires you."
Her heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, she felt as though her entire being was being pulled towards him. Viktor had always been brilliant, focused, but right now, he was utterly absorbed in her, in her stories, in the things that mattered to her. It wasn’t just about the myths; it was the way he made her feel—deeply valued, loved for the parts of herself she often kept hidden.
Unable to stop herself, Y/N moved closer to him, her hand gently resting on his, her thumb brushing lightly over his skin. “Viktor…” she whispered, her voice trembling just a little with emotion. “You make me feel so… seen. So loved.”
Viktor’s gaze softened, a tenderness flickering across his features. He reached out to pull her gently into his arms, the warmth of his embrace enveloping her in a way that felt like coming home. He kissed the top of her head, his voice soothing, filled with care. “You are loved, Y/N. More than you’ll ever know. More than I could ever put into words.”
Y/N felt a wave of affection rush through her, and as the minutes passed, the fire crackled in the hearth, casting a soft glow on their faces. The quiet hum of the city outside was barely audible, and in that peaceful stillness, Viktor placed his project aside completely, giving her his undivided attention. His hands moved to gently tug her closer, and with a soft, inviting smile, he whispered, “Come here. Let me hold you for a while. Just let me listen.”
Y/N’s heart skipped once more as he offered her the chance to simply be, to share not only her thoughts but herself with him in the most simple and intimate way. She shifted in his arms, settling against his chest, her head resting against his shoulder. Viktor’s arms wrapped around her, his warmth seeping into her as if he were offering not just his body, but his very soul.
She let out a soft sigh of contentment, feeling her body relax into him, her fingers absentmindedly tracing over the fabric of his shirt. He gently kissed the top of her head again, his voice low and filled with affection. “Would you… read to me, Miláčku?” Viktor asked, his words barely more than a whisper. (Darling)
The request, so tender and personal, caused her heart to swell. She smiled, feeling the deep love and appreciation he had for her. She picked up the book once more, and as her voice filled the quiet room, she felt a warmth spread through her chest. As she read aloud, the words seemed to come to life, her voice dancing in the air as Viktor listened with rapt attention, his hands gently running through her hair. She could feel the deep connection between them, the way they both shared this small, perfect moment in time.
And as she continued to read, Y/N couldn’t help but feel that she was falling in love with Viktor all over again. It wasn’t the grand gestures or the loud proclamations of affection, but these quiet, intimate moments that spoke volumes. He had always been so focused on his work, so absorbed in his genius. But tonight, it was as if he were completely absorbed in her.
The fire crackled softly, and as the evening deepened, Y/N closed the book, setting it aside. She looked up at Viktor, her heart full, her thoughts scattered in the best way. She kissed him softly, slowly, as though to show him just how much she loved him in return.
“I love you, Viktor,” she whispered against his lips, her voice thick with emotion.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied, his words steady and sincere. “More than you could ever know.”
And in that moment, as the fire flickered and the world outside faded away, Y/N felt completely at peace. Wrapped in Viktor’s arms, with his love surrounding her, she knew there was no place she’d rather be.
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The days drifted by, each one marked by their quiet routines and the bond that seemed to grow deeper with every passing moment. After that peaceful evening, where Viktor had so thoroughly captured her heart with his quiet attention and affection, something began to shift in the way they spent their time together.
Every time Y/N finished reading one of her beloved books, she would set it down on the small coffee table beside the couch and stretch, content with the peaceful moments she shared with Viktor. But soon, she began to notice something strange.
The next day, after finishing a particularly captivating myth about the ancient spirits of the Vastaya, Y/N placed the book on the table, intending to return to it later. When she stood up and turned around, she noticed a small package resting on the table. It wasn’t there the moment before—she would have noticed it, surely.
Curious, she reached for it and carefully unwrapped the soft leather cover. Inside was a new book, its pages crisp and untouched. She turned it over in her hands, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she read the title—Legends of Lost Civilisations. It was exactly the kind of book she would love, filled with ancient stories and hidden histories.
Before she could even process it, Viktor appeared beside her, his expression warm and a little playful. “I thought you might enjoy something new,” he said, his voice low, almost shy, as though he wasn’t sure how she would react. But there was a tenderness in his gaze that made her heart flutter.
Y/N looked up at him, her lips curving into a smile. “You—Viktor, this is... I don’t even know what to say.”
“I noticed how much you enjoy your reading,” Viktor continued, his voice soft, “and I thought you might appreciate a new one to add to your collection.” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “I hope it’s to your liking.”
She pulled him into a tight hug without thinking, overcome by the warmth of his gesture. “I love it,” she whispered, holding him close. “Thank you. You always know exactly what to do to make me feel so cared for.”
Viktor’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, his voice rumbling with affection. “I pay attention,” he murmured. “I want you to feel loved, Lásko. And I’ve noticed the joy you get when you dive into your stories.”
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Over the next few weeks, it became a small but cherished tradition. Every time Y/N finished one of her books, a new one would appear on the table—sometimes wrapped in soft fabric, sometimes simply resting there, waiting for her to discover it. Viktor had an uncanny ability to choose books that fit perfectly with her interests, each one a little more special than the last.
One day, Y/N had just finished the latest one—a beautifully written account of the starry skies and the constellations that were said to guide the Vastaya when they first arrived on Runeterra. She placed it down, ready to settle in for another quiet evening, when, to her surprise, a new book was waiting for her on the table.
This time, it was an older volume, its edges slightly worn, and its leather cover embossed with intricate designs. As she picked it up, she noticed the weight of it, and the delicate gold leafing on the spine. The title was faint but readable: The Heart of the Wilds: A History of the Vastaya’s Ancients.
Her heart skipped. This was a book that her grandmother had once spoken of, a rare and treasured work from generations before her. It was a history she thought she might never find. She looked up at Viktor, who had been standing by the fire, watching her with that same quiet smile.
“How… where did you find this?” she asked, her voice filled with awe.
Viktor stepped closer, his hand gently resting on her shoulder. “I asked around, did some research,” he said, his tone nonchalant but with a glint of pride in his eyes. “I knew you’d appreciate it.”
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she held them back, overcome by the thoughtfulness of his gesture. “This means so much to me,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “You always go above and beyond for me. I can’t… I can’t even put it into words.”
Viktor’s hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away the softest of tears that had slipped down her face. “You don’t need to. You never need to explain how you feel, love. I just want you to know how much you mean to me.”
In that moment, Y/N leaned up and kissed him, softly at first, then deeper as the emotions between them swirled and tangled. She felt the weight of his affection, the tenderness in every action, and it made her feel loved in a way she hadn’t known was possible. When they finally pulled away, breathless, she smiled up at him.
“You know, I think you’ve spoiled me, Viktor,” she said, her voice playful yet sincere. “I may never want to read another book that doesn’t come from you.”
Viktor chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair from her face. “I’ll take that as a compliment. And if it means you feel special, then it’s worth it.”
That night, as she sat down to read the new book Viktor had so thoughtfully given her, she felt as though she were falling in love with him all over again. With every turn of the page, every word of affection, and every shared moment, Y/N realised just how deeply Viktor cared for her—and how lucky she was to have him by her side.
And so, with each new book that arrived, her love for Viktor only grew, filling their home with a quiet kind of magic—a magic that had nothing to do with spells or machines, but with the simple, profound ways they made each other feel truly seen and cherished.
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thelcsdaily · 1 day ago
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It's Not A Farewell...
I want to let you know that I am taking a break in order to focus on my health. I currently have stage 4 cancer. Even if the situation may appear dire with the help of my loved ones, prayers, and all of you out there, I continue to hold out hope that I will be able to triumphantly beat this fatal illness.
When I reflect on this journey, I'm amazed at how far we've come together. Despite having numerous options, you decided to visit this blog. I would want to take this opportunity to express my gratitude for your unwavering support and encouragement, which have been the foundation of my journey. To all of the amazing people out there, I want to show my love and appreciation. I am very happy and grateful that you are a part of my journey.
With gratitude and my heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you,
LC
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thatbirdguyy · 2 days ago
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What do you think of the Tails/Shadow parallels? I think it's super cool how similar they are, but also how different.
Oh boy you found the right person!!!!
What if... the reason shadow despises Tails, is because Tails got what Shadow lost. To be with his appreciation, his motive to keep moving forward and appreciate the world in a different light. What Sonic gives Tails is what Shadow longs for. It's more so interesting that Tails and Maria share close colour palettes too. Sonic is the light that brightens Shadow, Tails is the reminder of his longing desire.
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(Ignore my discord name) but yeah! I like to see this as also a sorta explanation for why Shadow constantly hits Tails in various games/series (yes, I'm aware this is a running Geck, but c'mon, it would be so fun if it was true).
I want to explore more of this dynamic and if I get to chance to write official stories. I'd like to introduce this idea to SEGA and see if they agree with it. If not, I'll still see this as a cool headcanon idea that people can use for fun story explorations. A comic or a fanfic about Shadow and Tails where Shadow learns to appreciate Tails as his own person while reminding Sonic in a show don't tell way to protect Tails because he never got the chance to protect someone he loves, argh. Yes, gimme the angst and the wholesomeness.
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