#I want to hear everyone's thoughts about the order or selections btw I want this to be a community discussion

[bripops]

The Eliot Waugh Story (Taylor's Version)

Have you ever wanted to listen to a bunch of Taylor Swift songs about Eliot Waugh in (roughly) chronological order? Please enjoy this playlist I made while feeling extra deranged.

Listen on Spotify or check out the YouTube playlist

Notes on order below the cut:

Thesis statement: Anti-Hero

Season one: New Romantics, Gorgeous, Enchanted, You Belong With Me Mike Interlude: Delicate, Would've, Could've, Should've End of season one through season two: peace, The Archer, mirrorball, I Don't Wanna Live Forever, Eyes Open, Castles Crumbling Mosaic Interlude: King Of My Heart, Daylight, Wonderland Season three: You're On Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain, I Know Places, I Did Something Bad, Don't Blame Me Season four: my tears ricochet, Out Of The Woods, this is me trying, Cornelia Street

the version of season five that lives in my head: This Love, Mastermind, New Year's Day

[gabessquishytum]

I have more omegaverse thoughts!! In no particular order have a brain dump of ideas that are free real estate

Hob is starting to go into heat but it’s the date of one of their centennial meetups and he can’t miss it. Dream doesn’t understand why everyone in the bar is giving them the side eye (it’s Hob - he smells like sweet fertile omega) And Dream can morph his form into anything. So he morphs it into one of an Alpha for Hob.

Dream has been visiting Hob more lately. Just popping into his life at random times. He goes by the university but Hob isn’t there. So he appears in his apartment. Hob is in the height of a heat. Fingers and toys buried deep but it’s not.enough. And there is Dream watching him. Curious at his friend. Curious enough to just insert his hand into Hob’s hole without prompting or asking.

(Hear me out here) Hob is an alpha in physiology. But he only truly likes to get fucked by other alphas and always considered himself much more submissive and omega-like in personality and in bed.

1489 Hob very specifically asks, “What do I have to do?” When questioning Dream about why he’s immortal and who Dream is. What if instead of saying he has to do nothing but meet every 100 years Dream decides to get greedy. What does Hob have to do? Be his omega. Satisfy his ruts. Present for the nightmare king.

Whoops! Dream didn’t realize he has all the parts of an alpha and Hob is in heat and it triggers a rut. Queue rough claiming needy Dream just taking Hob in a haze of sex

Whooooops Dream and Hob fucked dirty in 1389 or 1489 and Dream imprinted on/marked/claimed (whatever flavor of omegaverse you want to go with here) Hob. So now Hob is tied to a man he only sees every 100 years who doesn’t even realize what he did.

Intersex omegaverse Hob via reality bending Dream. He’s got a leaking hole that can be plugged for days. He’s also got a cock that can plug up Dream. Hell they could do both simultaneously when Dream gets creative about it.

Can go opposite and have Dream be the omega - have Hob unable to resist him. Dream on his back begging for relief (something he never thought he would do) Letting Hob be the one to fill him through every round of heat.

Omegaverse royalty AU - Dream is the prickly prince who is required to bond to ascend the throne in the kingdom. So queen night and king time hold a ball (or a selection?) to find potential mates. Queue sweet Hob Gadling a peasant who has no business mating with the prince doing exactly that much to everyone else’s surprise. &/or you could also go the route of accidentally slept with the servant and knocked them up. Whoopsie. Idk basic tropes are fun to play with here.

Pure smut - Hob just imagines a knot and Dream wants to give him everything he wants. So he gives himself a knot mid-fuck into Hob. But Hob wasn’t expecting that and isn’t relaxed enough when it appears. So Dream has to coax his large knot already swollen slowly into Hob. The stretch of it burns slightly but Hob has never been so satisfied. There he plugs him up and keeps Hob on his swollen cock for hours. Filling him with more cum every round.

I’m sure I have way more thoughts but this was my initial brain dump to hopefully help inspire you even juuuuust a little. 🤞

-🫀

I think we should kiss. Passionately. In the rain. This is SO good. Seriously, you're an absolute inspiration and I'm happy to report that the abo fuckfest has begun in my Google docs and I have already incorporated a couple of these incredible, delicious, FANTASTIC ideas.

I'm so weak for alpha x alpha btw, so thank you for reminding me that that is a thing. Alpha Hob taking a knot from Alpha Dream? I'm going to make it happen. When I've finished what I'm working on right now 😏😏

[borealopelta]

10 questions for 10 writers

the beloved @arokel tagged me aaages ago and i'm finally doing it yayyy!

1. Is writing a hobby or a way of life?

a hobby i think. i do write a lot and it's a big part of my life but i wouldn't define myself as a writer you know? i'm just someone who writes :)

2. A journal full of notes or a clean completed manuscript?

journal full of notes!! i usually get tiny snippets of Disjointed Scenes stuck in my head and i recently realised that if i wrote them out i could. come back to them later if i wanted instead of forgetting them like a cool person. so i'm doing that in my notes app for now. but theoretically i'm all for a clean manuscript i'm literally incapable of writing a fic out of order aside from my little notes

3. Who or what inspired your writing?

honestly this question is stumping me a little. i don't know? i've been writing and telling stories from a very young age and i never had Big Inspirations. i do have people who influence my style (see the three authors i mention in question 8....holy shit to be able to write like that) but inspiration? idk i don't think i'm even getting what kind of inspiration this is asking about.

4. Which is worse: Someone you ‘idolize’ reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Definitely singing. i don't mind people i look up to reading my stuff! even if it could be improved!! but singing for an audience is horrible :)

5. Has writing from someone else’s POV changed your perspective?

i'm a very emotional person and experience everything all the time except for when i shut off and stop feeling at all for a bit. the latter is a rare occurrence and i'm generally all about emotions so writing my favourite oc who operates on a Very low emotional spectrum was (is) a really interesting experience. i have to put a lot of thought into how bella sees the world but i Love the way his brain works so he's always worth the effort and i'm thankful to him for showing me something new

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

no wattpad....how quickly forget our dark history. anyway yeah it's ao3!!! i Love the way ao3 works i did Not learn to navigate FFN well enough (not for lack of trying btw) to ever really use it

7. AO3 word count? And are you satisfied with it?

137,805. i'm a notorious fic deleter so it's not representative of the amount i've written over the years but. yeah! i'm happy with that. i obviously want to write more but word count is one of the stats i care least about

8. What movie/book gripped you irrevocably?

for books it's either the hungarian selection aka Verhovina madarai by Bodor Ádám and Termőtestek by Sepsi László - two novels i think about literally all the time - or Tell Them of Battles, Kings, and Elephants by Mathias Énard which i keep recommending to LITERALLY everyone because it's so beautiful. btw read tell them of battles kings and elephants by mathias énard it's so beautiful. for movies i guess dead poets society? aesthetically & also its message is so beautiful and i love a robin williams film

9. What’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

i don't know!!! any compliment makes me happy. but i love hearing that people came back to reread multiple times. like omg!! welcome back i'm so glad my sillies are in your brain

10. What defines your writing style?

i like to think my descriptions are pretty definitive, i loooooove stacking adjectives and adverbs and stuff with hyphens and commas and ands and other verbal connective tissue i love describing things in very specific ways and i think my writing also has a unique rhythm because of how hungarian works and how that translates to english. but that's just inside my brain idk!! my writing might be the most generic shit to everyone else :]

[24-7-testing]

I posted 1,180 times in 2022

25 posts created (2%)

1,155 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@24-7-testing

@enrichment--center

@humanwheatleyslefttoenail

@the-dangerous-mute-lunatic

@ratt-core

I tagged 1,180 of my posts in 2022

#aperture science - 1,170 posts

#aperture laboratories - 1,170 posts

#portal 2 - 1,047 posts

#chell - 498 posts

#testing queue - 346 posts

#wheatley - 329 posts

#glados - 326 posts

#portal - 270 posts

#companion cube - 157 posts

#caroline - 67 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#this unlocked a deeply repressed memory of me playing petz in my grandparent's basement on an old macintosh computer

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"Welcome, gentlemen, to The Aperture's Fortune. Aristocrats, soldiers, bilge rats -- you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to plunder some gold? [laugh] Now, you already met one another on the dinghy ride over, so let me introduce myself. I'm Captain Johnson. I own the ship. That eager voice you hear barking orders is the lovely Caroline, my First Mate. Rest assured, she's stashed your excess gold with the rest of our loot. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

"Yes, sir, Cap'n Johnson!"

"Hardest working deckhand, Caroline. She's the backbone of this ship! Pretty as a postcard too. Sorry scallywags, she's married; to the sea!"

I've been playing a lot of the game Sea of Thieves with a good friend lately (highly recommend it btw) and we got talking about what a Pirate Portal AU would look like. Surprisingly enough, there doesn't seem to be any fanart of Portal characters as pirates at least that I've found.

So, thanks to an art commission done by the amazing @sapient-nes , this new multiverse now has some content! Here's Captain Cave Johnson and his First Mate Caroline sailing the seas on their ship, The Aperture's Fortune, looking for adventure, plunder, and any crew members brave enough to accompany them on their voyages!

I'm very happy with how the artwork came out. The artist did a wonderful job and was great to work with too! Go commission them if you like what you see!

Also, if anybody out there has seen any other Portal-themed Pirate content, send it my way!

138 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#4

I've been seeing a lot of people slightly confused by it, so I thought that I would point out that Aperture Desk Job is not part of the main timeline of Portal and Portal 2.

From the Steam page for the game:

It's a story in the expanded universe of those games, ie the Multiverse! That being said, it's extremely fun and should definitely be played!

Hopefully everyone can keep this in mind while developing fan theories about the content of the game. 😊

258 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

#3

The end of the year gets tough for a lot of people, especially the last few years. Because of this, I am once again excited to announce the return of…

The Portal Holiday Spirit Initiative!

To try and lift people’s spirits up this year, I will be making and sending out FREE Portal-Themed Holiday Cards to anyone who asks for one! The cards are customized to match any December Holiday of your choice and mailed to you physically or emailed digitally!

This will be the fourth consecutive year I have run PHSI, and features the return of the nifty Postcards from last year! But don't worry: All physical cards will be mailed in themed envelopes this year, so your postcards should arrive in much better condition! :)

These postcards are are also special and unique, because they feature new artwork made by eight different artists from the fandom, specifically for this event! The design of the postcard you receive will be based on what you select in your Card Request. I can’t express the amount of thanks these artists deserve for volunteering their time and talents to make PHSI 2022 special!

If you would like to receive a Portal-Themed Holiday Card:

Visit bit.ly/portal-holiday-spirit-initiative …

Answer the questions on the form…

Wait for your card to be made and sent!

It’s that simple! Card Requests are now open, and close on December 20th in order to give me enough time to make and send all the cards before the end of the year. Please submit sooner rather than later so I have time to finish them all!

Also, please don’t be afraid to request a physical card if you don’t live in the US! It might take a bit longer for you to receive your card depending on what country you live in, but they do get mailed to whatever address you provide, whether domestic or foreign. Last year I mailed/emailed a total of 141 cards to Italy, Australia, Canada, Colombia, The Czech Republic, Germany, England, Finland, France, Mexico, New Zealand, Poland, Romania, Russia, The US, The United Kingdom, and Vietnam!

I’m glad to be a part of the Portal Fandom and hope to bring a smile to others in the Fandom this year! While not a requirement to receive a card, please visit ko-fi.com/247testing and click the Donate button if you’d like to give $2 to cover the cost/postage of your card and someone else’s too. Thanks!

Answers for common questions and concerns under the cut:

Worried about providing a mailing address, for whatever reason?

PHSI has an eCard option! All you need to provide is a name for me to call you by and an email address to receive your card!

Worried about requesting a card because you don’t live in the US?

PHSI mails to any address provided, whether domestic or foreign! However, please wait patiently for your card, due to the current global rate of shipping.

Worried that you can’t give $2 to cover the cost of your card and someone else’s?

Requesting a card from PHSI has been and will always be FREE! However, giving $2 to the initiative helps me buy card supplies and postage to mail physical cards (visit ko-fi.com/247testing if you’d like to contribute). I gratefully appreciate any contributions received, even if it’s just a comment saying thanks!

Worried because you don’t know how to support the artist of the card you received?

Each artist's social media are listed on the back of every card featuring their artwork. Look them up, commission them, reblog their art, and support them however you can!

Worried because you haven’t received your card yet?

Double check your email inbox and junk folders. I send everyone an email that either confirms your Holiday Card has shipped or includes your eCard! If your physical card fails to show up after the first of January, please reach out to me and I’ll send you a replacement eCard!

Worried because you received your card and don’t know what to do now?

Make a post about it! Include pictures, videos, or anything you’d like, and tag me in the post (@24-7-testing) so I can reblog it! If you don’t want to show your card off, that’s ok too!

274 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#2

A Study Of Lies, by yours truly.

460 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

!!!

From the article:

"We've gotta start Portal 3, that's my message to you. Anything you can do, let's do it, let's just make it happen. Because yeah, I am also not getting any younger like we are reaching the point where it's crazy to think, literally gonna be too old to work on Portal 3 so we should just do it," said Wolpaw.

Wolpaw went on to say that Portal fans should make their appeals known to Gabe Newell, though the writer was quick to point out that he doesn't think these appeals will help the game materialize. However, if Newell and Valve see an interest, it certainly couldn't hurt! 

632 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[etherrreal]

"when you drag them to a karaoke bar on a date"

Pairing: tanaka x reader ; bokuto x reader Genre: fluff, headcanons+drabbles Word Count: 1258 Warnings: mentions of alcohol/being tipsy  A/N: after that fun karaoke banter, i was excited to see this request pop up in our inbox ; hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! (psst, requests are still open btw!!) -Luna

#1 champion at karaoke for the past 5 years and counting and no one can beat him

(no, there are no official records or awards, but don't crush his dreams by telling him that)

he was absolutely ecstatic when you suggested a karaoke date

he’s....not the worst?

generally, he can carry a tune decently well but he tries waaay too often to sing a riff or add some spice like he's Mariah Carey and that's when it all goes wrong

initially, you were going to a place that allowed private rooms for groups so you can just fuck around as a dynamic duo

but he wanted to show off his skills so you and everyone in attendance could be jealous of his vocal talents, so you went to a local bar instead

As soon as you arrived at the bar, Tanaka ordered you both some drinks and wings to munch on. Grateful for the liquid courage, you ordered a second to help keep the nerves at bay. Tanaka was happy to sit back and eat so he could "gauge his competition," whatever that meant.

You could tell that he was pumped to be there; his head was nodding to the beat, his hand was tapping away on his thigh, and he was mumbling along to the words. You enjoyed watching him more than the couple screeching on stage to the tune of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."

A few drinks and two baskets of wings later, Tanaka finally decided that it was his time to shine. He left you with a quick peck on the lips, the leftover taste of gin lingering on your lips. You watched him wave at the audience before browsing the song selection. When he settled on “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond and stumbled his way back to the mic, you knew you were all in for a treat.

"I'm going to be dedicating this one to my baby back there." He blew a kiss in your direction, a few people turning to look at you cringing in the back of the room. “I hope you all enjoy my amazing rendition of this song.”

He started out fine, pretty good, actually. The low, flat tone worked well with his voice and he knew every single word without glancing at the screen, most likely due to hearing the song incessantly play during commercials. 

Then the bridge came, and as the note became higher and louder, the singing became more and more horrific to listen to. And once the chorus started, he finally let go, bouncing around the stage with the detached microphone in hand, letting the spirit of Neil Diamond flow through him. 

Meanwhile, you had broken out your phone and decided to record him for all of your friends to see later. You were sure that your obnoxious cackling was caught on the video, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. This was going to be a precious memory for you hungover rockstars to look back on in the morning.

You knew that somewhere in America, Neil Diamond was cringing and didn't know why. Little did he know an overzealous Japanese man was enthusiastically butchering his song to impress his partner.

And gosh dammit, it was working.

you don't know what kind of beast you've released, oh no

before the entire question had even left your mouth, he already found a place nearby that had karaoke nights every saturday

bokuto...bless his heart

you ever heard two cats fight? they’re screeching, yowling, and making all sorts of alien noises? that’s him.

he definitely thinks that louder means better and while he’s got the spirit, the spirit wishes that he would let it go to spare its ears

bokuto waited forever to have a girlfriend, and he was sure as hell going to take advantage of the fact that you were finally in his life 👀 

You arrived at the bar as soon as the event started, the host filling in the guests about the fun times that were about to ensue. At your table, Bokuto was practically vibrating with excitement as the host went on about the rules. You both learned that at the end, everyone would vote for 3 winners for the night and the index cards and pencils laying on the tables were to cast your votes. 

After the explanations, the host asked for volunteers in the audience. Bokuto’s hand shot straight up, wiggling his fingers and waving his arm in hopes of getting the man’s attention. While he wasn’t the only hand up, he definitely was the most enthusiastic, which was most likely the reason why he was chosen to go up on stage. 

You thought it would be just him, finally having the chance to watch him be the true Beyoncé he thought he was. But when you felt him grab your hand and yank you out of your seat you were utterly confused.

“Where are you taking me? You’re the one that said you wanted to go,” you asked suspiciously, dragging your feet to slow him down. He was parading his way towards the stage quite quickly before stopping suddenly at the edge to turn back to you, hands grasped in his. 

“We’re going to sing a duet,” he announced matter-of-factly. He left no room to argue when he tugged you onto the stage, positioning you awkwardly in front of one of the mics so he could pick a song. You tried to peer over his shoulder to see what he chose, but his broad shoulders blocked the view.

He turned back to you and stood next to the other microphone, a wide grin painted on his face as he waited for the music to start. The first few notes to “I Got You Babe” by Sonny & Cher came through the speakers, your eyes instinctively rolling into the bad of your skull. That song was one that Bokuto had played countless times before, insisting that it must be the song of your relationship. You told him that wasn’t how that process worked, but it didn’t prevent him from playing it on repeat-- or simply serenading you with it-- almost every single day. 

Which you supposed you had to be grateful for, because now you had to know every single word to the song by heart to sing it with him or else you’d make a fool out of yourself. 

The words flowed effortlessly from your mouths, but the musical talent absolutely did not. The only way to describe Bokuto's voice was by saying it sounded like he was being actively tortured live on stage. It would explain why his pitch was all over the map. 

To make up for the lack of talent, Bokuto improvised some moves, grabbing your hand to twirl you about, sometimes tugging you back into his chest to rock gently back and forth with you. The embarrassment you felt in the beginning easily melted away by the end of the performance. It was the most fun you’d had in a while, and seeing him beaming with happiness by the end was all you needed to reassure you this night out had been worth it. 

Somehow, despite believing that you were the absolute worst couple to grace that stage, you both managed to win 3rd place. Bokuto was convinced that it was because of his sickening dance moves and smooth but powerful voice, and you didn’t quite have the heart to tell him otherwise so you let him brag about it all night long.

Written by: Luna

Requests: OPEN!!

[hybridequalist]

Thinking Out Loud (Part 5)

I live! I write! It’s here!

Previous Chapter (tumblr link)

Taglist (Lemme know if you wanna join this, btw):  @nesli26, @manga-crazy, @venomemes, @galleyleelol, @makingtimemine, @jackie-sugarskull, @nightshade7117, @skysthelimit291, @randomshizzles101, @inumorph, @snow-massacre, @phantom-fangirl-stuff, @pixellated-sparks, @vsalamandor2, @otaku-mai, @snarky-badger

Your legs were bouncing as you sat in Lauren’s front seat, staring blankly out the window. You were focused on your breathing techniques to settle yourself, settle your pre-outing jitters. It had been a surprise, after all.

Eddie had called earlier and asked if you were available for a rescheduled lunch outing. You’d given the affirmative and Lauren had helpfully offered to bring you downtown to the cafe on the way to some errands she needed to run. You knew that she was offering just to be nice and give you some comfort and more time to transition to being in a social situation, but you appreciated it...even if it felt like your mom driving you to a High School dance.

The car halted at a stoplight and you automatically glanced at your landlady, just in case she wanted to talk to you.

Her finger tapped the steering wheel before she twisted to look at you, signing “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“If I’m not,” you sign back, “you’ll be the first to know. Just keep your phone close. But I think I’ll be okay. Eddie is nice.”

Lauren gave you a meaningful glance as the light turned green. Her thoughts reflected the look, full of a fierce protectiveness, one that all but screamed "if he makes you uncomfortable I will end him."

You fidgeted, tugging at the edge of your frilled blouse. You’d wanted to dress up since it was the first time in a while that you had gone out with a friend, but you were starting to remember why you never wore your nicer clothes: they were itchy and still felt too new. Just the minor friction of the less-than-comfortable fabric was stressing your nerves even more.

You took notice of the anxious energy building and took a few deep breaths before resuming the meditation breathing pattern you had learned in one of your infrequent therapy sessions. After a few minutes of focus, your heart rate slowed and you felt more grounded. You glanced away from your feet and out the window, realizing that Lauren was now looking for a parking space or some free pavement space to drop you off.

You pulled out your phone and started typing.

We just made it. Looking for a spot to stop.

Your phone indicated that Eddie had read the text. You pulled down the sunshade and checked your appearance, fiddling with the microscopic flaws that had developed.

This might be a meeting between friends, but Eddie was still a relatively new acquaintance--he was still investigating you and deciding what labels to give you. It was a time to put your best foot forward. Especially since he'd gotten a glimpse of your...issues.

You glanced at your phone, expecting to see the beginning indication of a return text, but instead you heard some muffled shouting. You automatically turned your head towards the sidewalk and saw a familiar figure waving at the car from the street.

“ EDDIE! SHE SAW US! CAN YOU  HEAR US?!”

The mental yelling rang through your skull, making you wince a little at the invisible volume. You waved out at them and tapped Lauren on the shoulder before she crossed the intersection.

“Eddie is over there,” you pointed out, letting her take the time to follow your gestures and resume looking back at you. “I’ll get out here. I will call your phone if I need to get picked up and text you the details.”

“If it vibrates, I’m turning right back around,” she promised. The two of you shared a quick hug before you unbuckled yourself and stepped out. Careful of other cars, you quickly speedwalked over to the sidewalk where your friends waited.

“Good to see you again,” Eddie greeted you, lifting his hand for a high five. You smiled and reciprocated.

“ DON’T IGNORE ME ,” Venom complained, sounding for all the world like a kicked puppy. You reached up and patted the sleeve of Eddie’s jacket, where you knew the alien was hiding. The preening feeling from Venom’s thoughts made you want to laugh aloud.

“So...lunch?” Eddie asked. “Have you tried this new cafe? They really go hard into the whole ‘sourdough is the food of San Francisco' thing. Probably meant to get the tourists, but the sandwiches still are great.”

There were a lot of things to respond to in that brief sentence and you fumbled with your conversation cards, flipping through them to string together a sentence that made sense.

“No. That sounds interesting. Let’s go.”

“It’s just this way,” he gestured, straightening from bending closer to read your cards. “Stick close; we might hit some of the lunch rush on the way in.”

You grabbed another card.

“I’m not good with crowds.”

“Then we can order to go and find somewhere else to sit. It’s no problem.”

“ WE WERE GOING TO SHOW YOU MY SURPRISE FROM LAST TIME ANYWAY. THE PRIVACY WILL HELP ,” Venom added.

Eddie offered his arm and you blinked at him before you caught his thoughts. He wanted to make sure you stayed beside them since you couldn’t very easily let him know you were being left behind--not like how most people let their friends know. Venom’s feelings were tacked onto the thought, revealing that he liked the thought of you holding onto them because he could protect you better the closer you were.

You looped your arm through Eddie’s.

The walk to the cafe was silent from a vocal standpoint: Eddie and Venom conversed with one another about their thoughts on the food and their past experience, the more deliberate wording telling you that they were actually talking to you without expecting any replies. All the same, you couldn’t help but feel awkward at how every passerby viewed you--both pedestrian and driver. Most thought you were on a date, others were convinced you just didn’t want to get separated. Almost everyone wondered why you and Eddie weren’t having a conversation. After all, wasn’t it the polite thing to do when out for a walk?

“ ARE YOU LISTENING TO US, MORSEL? ”

The symbiote’s question pulled you back. You’d gotten caught up in the overwhelming noise of everyone else’s thoughts, losing your ability to distinguish internal words from external ones with the din of other people’s conversations mixed with their observations of you. But Venom’s mental voice was much louder than the humans walking past and was able to cut through the ceaseless hum.

You immediately reached for one of your cards, feeling the well worn, bent corners and not needing to check it for the words on it.

“Sorry.”

You reached for another, equally used phrase.

“It’s difficult to explain.”

“Hey, no worries,” Eddie replied, tone deliberately soft so as to comfort you. “You just looked like you were spacing out a bit and I wanted to make sure you were okay. We’re almost there.”

You nodded and let your friend resume guiding you, deliberately focusing on his and Venom’s thoughts to let the others fade into background noise.

“ I tried your name a few times, but you weren’t answering. I’m glad you’re okay for now. Do you think you’ll be okay in the shop? Just because it’s closer quarters. ”

“ EDDIE, WE FOUND HER IN A GROCERY STORE. I’M SURE SHE CAN HANDLE A FOOD TRANSACTION. ”

“ Do you remember the spoons metaphor I told you about? ”

“ AND I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE SPOONS! IT JUST MAKES ME THINK OF FOOD AND I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY. ”

Their banter was comforting. Their partnership might still be relatively new by normal standards, but spending all their time together--literally every waking moment--had quickly built their bond beyond what two ordinary humans could achieve in similar circumstances. They had actually reached a point where words, while convenient to keep their identities distinct, were not entirely necessary. Images, sensations, memories, all were equal communication tools.

It almost made you jealous at how easily they could literally share their thoughts with one another. You were stuck having to pretend you were oblivious to what people really felt.

The cafe was nice and cozy. There thankfully wasn’t a huge line--it gave you plenty of time to pick what you wanted from the menu and look at the carefully selected decor of the shop (mostly to ignore the man standing behind you, who was actively checking out anyone who looked to be of age and was daring to show even an inch of skin). You typed up your order on your phone and showed it to the cashier, who thankfully took it all in stride and smoothly got the process started. Eddie ordered a healthy sandwich and a slice of very rich chocolate cake, which had Venom purring at the thought of dessert.

You slipped out of the cafe, the line having grown significantly behind you and your friends even in just the short time. You could feel a headache forming from the combined vocal and mental chatter as you held on to Eddie and let him guide you away.

“Are you okay with taking a few backroads?” he asked and you saw he’d noticed your scrunched brow. “Just for some peace and quiet away from the main street? It’s probably only going to get louder.”

You nodded vigorously and Eddie picked up his pace, practically pulling you along with his brisk speed. He guided you through an alley onto a much narrower footpath with significantly fewer pedestrians, hesitating as he silently asked Venom to help him remember the way to a green space he remembered eating at before.

You took the break to check yourself over for signs of overstimulation. So far, nothing that some cleansing breaths and food wouldn’t take care of.

And then, like a ping on a psychic radar, you heard a familiar mind call your name.

“ Y/N?! But didn’t the suits snatch her?! ”

Your eyes snapped over to where you felt his thoughts and your heart began to race as you saw a face you’d prayed would never cross paths with you again.

At a first glance, he wasn’t a physically imposing man: barely five and a half feet tall, he didn’t show any obvious muscle or have any “red flags” to his features that might suggest he was dangerous. You almost would have looked right past him--his hair hadn’t been a blonde crew cut when you’d seen him last--but those deep hazel eyes held yours prisoner. You didn’t even need your powers to see the obvious greed ravaging his thoughts.

“Y/N? Hey, are you with me?”

Eddie’s words felt like they came from far away, even with Venom echoing them with his impressive volume. You were just staring at the other man, a silent scream trapped in your mute throat.

Your sight was suddenly filled with brown leather as Eddie stood in front of you, bending over to look you in the eye.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “Are you okay? Are you present? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Excuse me.” The familiar voice made your skin break out in goosebumps as a chill ran down your spine. “Ma’am, are you going to be alright?”

You jolted backwards, throwing your hands up to clamp over your ears. It was a futile attempt to block out the feeling of his mind, his thoughts, the way he felt the world and took delight in your weakness, in your fear, in the worry of the others who were witnessing your distress…

“ EDDIE, MASK? ” Venom asks.

“ It’s too public ,” his partner protested silently even as he verbally stated, “Don’t crowd her please.”

“Let’s go,” you signed frantically, unable to stop fixating. “Please.”

“Come on,” Eddie ushers you,  holding out a hand for you to take--which you did with an iron grip. “It’s not far.”

You kept pace with your friends as you put rapid distance between yourself and your old acquaintance, still highly aware of those hazel eyes on you. The sound of the city faded as your feet hit grass and Eddie sat you down onto a bench, dropping to one knee by the armrest.

“What do you need me to do?” he asks, looking you over.

“ WHAT CAN WE DO? ” the symbiote echoed.

You just kept holding Eddie’s hand, fighting tears as you made yourself breathe deeply, clinging tighter when he tried to retract.

They were concerned. They wanted to help. And that was enough to help ground you to the point where you could pull out your phone.

I’ve met that man before. His name is Mitch. We used to be friends. It didn’t end well.

“ I’M GOING TO EAT HIS HEAD! ” Venom howled. His human counterpart took the revelation a little better: he took a second to process it--suppressing the flurry of questions that flooded his mind--and then he stood to join you on the bench.

“Do you need to talk about it now, or do you just want to put it aside for now?”

Put it aside. Please.

“Not a problem. Shall we eat?”

You were a little surprised he agreed so quickly--especially with how vocal Venom was being--but it was a relief nonetheless. You opened your take-out bag and retrieved your food, setting about enjoying it despite the residual shakiness in your hands.

You were about half done when a realization struck you, making you bite your tongue by accident. You jolted your phone out.

Did you respond to me signing back there?

Eddie read it and then laughed a little.

“Uh, so about the surprise Vee had for you...I’ll let him show you.”

“ FINALLY! ”

You watched curiously as Eddie relaxed and then his hands began to move--and you could see in his mind that he wasn’t in charge of the motions. This was all Venom.

The motions were careful and slow, but you sat straight up as Eddie’s hands started forming familiar words.

“Hi. My name is--” there was some hesitation as they briefly conferred with what name to use but they quickly resumed-- “V-E-N-O-M. It is good to talk to you.”

You gasped and gave them a brief applause. You then returned to typing.

How did you learn that so quickly?

“Vee has lots of free time when I’m sleeping,” Eddie shrugged, smiling as he regained the use of his arms. “He’s been looking at Sign dictionaries trying to string that whole phrase together.”

“ I’M BETTER AT FINGERSPELLING ,” the alien admitted, still basking in pride. “AND I KNOW ALL OF THE BASICS: HUNGRY, EAT, DRINK, YES, NO, GO, STOP, PLEASE, THANK YOU AND CHOCOLATE.”

You laughed soundlessly as Eddie rolled his eyes.

But why? You asked. Why go to the trouble?

“ BECAUSE WE WANT TO MAKE IT EASIER TO TALK TO YOU MORE! ” There is no hesitation in Venom’s response. “ IF YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG QUICKLY! ”

“Not that we’re expecting trouble,” Eddie adds. “I just figured it would be helpful in general. But you’re gonna have to forgive me if he--” he tapped his temple--“has to do some translating in the beginning since he’ll pick it up way faster than me.”

You could feel tears pricking at your eyes again. They were willing to learn Sign for you? No other friend had been willing to do that for you since High School.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” They’d noticed your watery eyes. They were worried. They knew you had been stressed out during the whole outing and wanted to make you comfortable and safe.

Nothing,” you fingerspelled, taking care to make each letter distinct so they could more easily follow. “Thanks.”

“ EDDIE, I WANT THE CAKE NOW ,” Venom complained, changing gears faster than you or Eddie expected. “ WE HAD YOUR HEALTHY SANDWICH, NOW GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF. ”

“ You absolute addict ,” Eddie thought back, taking a determined bite of mostly lettuce just to make the symbiote pout. You gave another silent laugh as you too returned to eating, happy to just listen to their chatter for a while longer.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

⭐ for either of the Should I Stay (Or Should I Go?) fics!

*rubbing my hands together* [Should I Stay (Or Should I Go?) - ASOUE/Stranger Things AU]

Okay here’s something I’ve been DYING to talk about: picking everyone’s superpowers! I wanted everyone’s abilities to relate to either their personality, plot or special interest, so it took a lot of thought!

Violet’s ferrokinesis was definitely the easiest power to come up with; she’s an inventor, so metal manipulation was an easy jump. 

What actually took the longest time to come up with, though, was her Extrasensory Perception- the original plan was for Klaus to be only one with that, as he has the same powers as El and she seems to have ESP, but long story short it got added to Violet’s skillset as a way to solve a plothole I’d written myself into, and with that came the ESP-Klaus, which is probably one of my favorite parts of the AU. 

Klaus’s power honestly went back-and-forth between El’s in-show powers (telekinesis, ESP) and the information absorption that was later given to Sunny; while info absorption would work with his book special interest, it was a bit hard to figure out how to work that into his subplots, and when I eventually decided on Quigley’s power being teleportation, I figured someone needed telekinesis in order to close the Gate in S2, so Klaus got the traditional 011 powers. 

That was a complete coincidence, btw; the experiments’ numbers were decided on birth order, starting with Jacques and ending with Carmelita [Ellington was added later, Olaf is an exception since he joined the project late, so he could really be any age inbetween Beatrice and Jacques/Kit], and Klaus just so happened to fall into the 011 position while having her powers. [You’ll notice that Kit has the Kali-style illusions, instead of Duncan/008.] 

His ESP was originally going to show up in S1, but I couldn’t find a good place to put it, so that ability only appeared in S2. 

Both Sunny and Carmelita’s powers were written in as a “their powers have already awakened but nobody’s going to notice because that’s just how they are in canon” twist. Sunny in the books has piranha-teeth and remarkable intelligence for her age, so I just was like “alright that’s her power. super-strength and hyperintelligence.” 

The information absorption, honestly, was added in so I could joke about her driving a car (she absorbs info from the manual), and the ESP was basically just my way of making her, as Carmelita called her, the baby-ex-machina. I needed the kids to find specific articles/information within the timeline, so her being able to sense things of importance was a good way to get that done. 

Duncan and Isadora’s powers were very easy- I wanted them to have complimentary powers, since they’re basically always together, but also have their powers tie into their special interests, which just made Telepathy and Empathy an obvious choice. Duncan’s journalism is more about facts, which would make mindreading a useful skill (if he ever got over how much he hates violating people’s privacy), and Isadora’s poetry is definitely very emotional.

Duncan’s memory-reading was added in order to give us Rainbow Room flashbacks, and also as a way to make his powers more obvious to him- he could explain away hearing voices, but if he goes into Klaus’s memory, it’s a bit hard to deny something supernatural’s going on. 

Isadora’s pathokinesis was mostly given as a way to give her some form of offensive power, also I find the idea of emotion-manipulation very unsettling and badass and wanted to write it in. 

Quigley’s power, as I implied in Klaus’s description, was a tossup between telekinesis and teleportation. I needed him to open the Gate, but I wasn’t sure if that necessarily meant he had to have El’s powers; besides, teleportation was a bit more related to his cartography special interest. 

Eventually I came up with the idea of the Gate opening due to his teleportation powers going off the rails, so the telekinesis went to Klaus. 

His powers honestly got more figured out as S2 went on; as he got stronger, he got more abilities, such as the ability to transport more than one person. If he practices enough, he might be able to escape handcuffs or teleport to specific people instead of places by S3, though that all depends on what the plot calls for. 

Should also mention that his teleport to Hawkins in S2 was a mixture of him desperately wanting to go somewhere safe (IE with his siblings) and the Mind Flayer wanting him in Hawkins as a spy. 

Fiona’s story honestly changed drastically from the original concept- she was originally much closer to El than Kali. The first draft idea had her as another experiment who’d never been outside the Lab, who Violet would befriend whenever they were in the Rainbow Room and promise to help, and her power was some form of plant manipulation (IE mushrooms), though I wasn’t entirely attached to the idea at all; I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to write her into the plot convincingly, or how to keep her plant powers from being OP (think Layla in Sky High). 

Her change was actually @asoue-sideblog‘s idea; while I was pitching the AU to her and mentioned I wasn’t entirely sure about Fiona’s power, she suggested poison manipulation (IE Medusoid Mycelium), and from what I remember, her ending up more as a Kali-figure just snowballed from there. 

She does have weaknesses, though; she has to know what poison she’s manipulating, and if she uses too little, she runs the risk of someone realizing what’s happening and escaping before they can die. If she uses too much, she loses energy, as seen at the end of S1 when she’s starting to black out in the Lab. 

As mentioned with Sunny, Carmelita’s ability was made to be so close to her original characterization that nobody would notice. (though a few of you guys did pick up on the implications of her wearing a million slap bracelets on her arm!) Everyone in the books always listened to her, so that got into the SIS AU in the form of her persuasion powers, which were also used to get her out of the Lab and into the Spy position. 

I tampered with a few ideas for extra powers, but eventually decided to (at this point) leave it as is; she doesn’t really need offensive powers when she can just talk her opponents down. 

(this is getting kinda long so adults under the cut, includes spoilers both for the fic itself and for ATWQ) 

ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines, or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

Ellington, as mentioned, was added very late; once I decided that Armstrong Feint was going to be in charge of the project, I figured it’d make sense to have her as an experiment, but the problem was I’d already run out of numbers. So she’d have to have an excuse to not be tattooed, and her shapeshifting arose both from that and from Ellington Feint’s disguises (as Cleo and Filene respectively). The giveaway of her green eyes is because they were mentioned so much in ATWQ that it made sense to have them be important here. 

I had plans for her and Lemony to appear in S2, but couldn’t figure out how to work them into the plot, so they’ll be saved for S3-4.

Jacques’s power wasn’t explained too much in S2, as it wasn’t incredibly important to the plot and he’s already dead by this point, but he basically just has extreme extrasensory perception; much more than the Baudelaires, and enough that he could sort-of project himself into other places to see what was going on. 

Him being able to enter the Void was added as a way to get Violet to learn that ability via Kit. 

Kit’s power was up in the air for a while, and unfortunately she was plot-relevant so I couldn’t just be vague about it. @asoue-sideblog can confirm that we tampered with the idea of just giving her Renesmee’s powers from Twilight until I was just like “wait we could just give her illusions. works with her lowkey shadiness and the fact she’s basically just reverse!Kali.” 

Olaf’s power also took a while to decide, and I had him has having power-absorption for a while until I realized “huh that’d leave a lot of plotholes in the story, like why he couldn’t just absorb some of Violet’s ferrokinesis and do the tests himself when she was refusing to.” Him having Clairvoyance ties in a bit to him constantly finding the Baudelaires in canon and always seeming to have a plan, and it not being an offensive power would explain why Violet/Quigley never saw it; you’d think he’d use an offensive power at the very least to intimidate, if not injure. 

Lemony’s psychometry was also suggested by @asoue-sideblog and I love because it works perfectly with his canon investigative interests; he can discover literally anything he wants just by touching the right object.

He gained more control over his power as he got older, though he still gets overstimulated at times (something him and Duncan would be able to bond over, I’m sure), meaning he can just channel into himself what information he wants instead of all the information there is, as well as control when the power is on or off. 

And finally, Beatrice’s pyrokinesis was one of the first powers I decided, though I did occasionally consider giving that power to Olaf instead. So much of canon is tied to fire, especially including the fact the Baudelaire Fire kicks off the plot, so it made sense that someone would be pyrokinetic, and who better than Beatrice, who’s so woven into the fabric of ASOUE that it’s impossible to tell the story without her, even if she doesn’t appear onscreen? (*cough*movie*cough*)

Of course, she does appear onscreen in SIS, multiple times; it would’ve been hard to do otherwise, as the plot begins with Violet’s abduction, and I wanted to establish the Baudelaire family bond before her kidnapping. Writing her and Bertrand was a bit of a challenge, cause they had to be established as good parents who love their children, but who are also keeping an incredibly deadly secret from them. 

The burns on her hands, permanent from her trying to summon some flames before she awakened her fire immunity, were mainly added as an excuse as to why she’s wearing gloves, one that Violet and Klaus wouldn’t question, so they wouldn’t realize she was 003 until it was too late. She also does have a few weaknesses in her power; as was seen in SIS, she can’t control smoke, meaning that smoke inhalation is still a threat to her even if the flames aren’t (I like to think that her magic fire doesn’t have smoke, though, so this would only be a problem with actual fire), and what I have written as a weakness for her that never got mentioned in the fic is that she has trouble summoning fire in cold temperatures. 

Should also mention that I do have powers planned for Friday, if I can write in a way for her to show up w/ powers, and I have some ideas for Bea II, who I think you’ve figured out is definitely going to appear. But I’m not going to mention them here, because…

ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines, or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

[attract-mode-collective]

"weLCUM to the motherfucking Queer matrixXx"

In part 1 of my recap of stuff tweeted during the later half of May, over at @AttractMode, I mentioned that one thing that kept me awfully busy… hence the backlog and two-part recap for Tumblr & Medium… was Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse II.

The proper/full name of the soiree was Ova the Rainbow: DreamBoxXx, which is where most of these photos were taken, with a few from Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse I; the photographer on the behalf of Gothamist was there for both opening & closing parties, to help add color to their story...

... BTW, the arcade will open one last time, this Friday (June 8th). Doors open at 7!

And as for the rest of last month... well... back to the subject of arcades for a sec; it’s a dream of many to have the full experience at home, though space is obviously the primary issue. Thankfully you (or your Lego minifigs to be exact) have options (via @ActionFigured)...

This Blast City shirt was designed on a CRT monitor, making it extra legit (no word if it was in TATE orientation tho; via theyetee.com)...

I basically know nothing about Avail, though appears to be a Target or H&M-like retail entity for Japan? Well recently they had a Gradius shirt for sale, but I missed my chance to save a copy of the PDF circular from which it made its seemingly sole appearance.

Hence why I had resort to blowing up this screencap (via miki800.com)...

There's actually a 2nd Gradius tee, and we thankfully have a far better look at it this time (via miki800.com)…

... I almost have to wonder if the 1st one was a mock-up or placeholder or something, cuz I seriously cannot find an image of it anywhere.

Few things get me as giddy as a nice 180 camera turn around with sprites (via segacity)...

And 3D turnarounds of polygonal characters are cool, provided that they’re watercolored (via typhlosionofficial)...

Same (via @BauceSauce)...

Sorry, but the sight of shelf after shelf, all bucking under the massive weight of countless carts & discs, is an eyesore IMHO. Instead, a modest pile of software with plenty of breathing room work best for me (via sixteen-bit)...

Such a beautifully personalized iPhone is essentially an iPhone for life (via miki800)...

A (video game) toy chest… a (video game) treasure chest… basically both? (via miki800)...

Remember hearing about Street Fighter 2 X Transformers? Well, they're finally here (via tfw2005.com)...

To be honest I have enough toys. Whereas I could always use more storage! Hence my interest in these SF2 USB sticks. But I can’t decide which World Warrior I want to see in such sad shape all the (via miki800.com)...

Time for another crossover, specifically Virtual On X bunny girls; a custom model kit of Angelan (via shop2000.com)...

A look at all the Tokyo Game Show poster girls since 2010 (via videogamesdensetsu)...

The first Famciase of 2018 to get my attention now has a fake ad to go with the fake game (via pepesalot)...

I'm 99.99% confident that this gaming set up/living quarters (via @miaumiauzmiau)...

... belongs to Polylina, aka Poririna, aka SEGA SATURN GAL (via this old post from a few years back)...

Note the similar pink curtains...

Who wears their Space Invaders shirt better? This guy (via shmups)…

Or this gal (via thesensualeye)...

The chairs for Space Invaders Frenzy has seen some serious shit (via oh-log-n)...

It’s a Space Invaders bathroom cuz why not (via it8bit)...

Nothing illustrates the harsh game making environment better than this one dev’s cardboard facade, underneath his desk, to emulate home (via videogamesdensetsu)...

Kitchen pantry cat’s prices are way better than bedroom closet cat’s (via @tatuya01)...

Memorial Day took place near the end of May, naturally, which meant another opportunity to repost my fave video starring the greatest soldier of the 20th century (via this other old post from years ago)...

Memorial Day weekend was also when I decided to post a bunch of YouTube vids; remember that one explaining why wiggling Sonic 3D Blast for the Genesis produces a level select? Did you also remember to subscribe to the channel? If so, you’d already know how Sonic R did transparencies on the Saturn...

Do you like Famiclones? Do you like Jackie Chan? Then you might like...

... I ended up going down a Jackie Chan rabbit hole, which resulted in a high-quality version of the infamous soundtrack to Hong Kong 97. Which in turn led to the discovery that the loop is actually a small portion of a full-length song entitled "I Love Beijing Tiananmen".

Sorry to ask everyone to click out, but I have a limit on how many videos I can embed in a single post and all.

Come to see what NES game Bithead1000 broke the bank on, stay to hear him bitch about Trapper Keepers...

Spoilers: it was Metal Storm, and can you believe that it managed to grace the cover of Nintendo Power? Not complaining of, more impressed than anything else (via shmups)...

Time for some bonus Bithead1000, which I’m not posting cuz of the aforementioned technical limitation, plus it has nothing to do with games anyway: hearing him talk about old school rap made my Memorial Day and hopefully it'll make yours, no matter what date it is.

Yet another video I must abstain from embedding is Johnny Cage performs 4'33". Hopefully all of you fans of Mortal Kombat/experimental compositions/shitty webtoons do not feel slighted (via roman55)...

Another look at the “New Aero City” stick, this time with the intended color scheme of yellow for both the balltop & buttons (last time they were red, as seen here; via hibachicandy)...

It’s the guy made Metal Gear and the guy who made Kong: Skull Island, playing Xevious & Ikaruga (via xtheo.ca)...

The beginning of the ultimate road trip (via lazywaifus)...

Like many others, I spent an entire morning pouring over that epic game collection before it was set to be auctioned off at the end of the month; my wish list included a SuperGrafx, TurboDuo, CD-i, Nuon, and Donkey Kong for the OG GB sealed… (via bodnarsauction.com)...

Alas, I couldn’t make the trip to Edison, NJ for the auction. Thankfully, @textfiles could; be sure to check all the photos he posted on May 31 for all that he saw...

Am surprised it took this long to see something like this (via @gamesyouloved)...

… The same source also posted this Sonic gif; I’ve looked everywhere for the source but zero luck… can anyone point me in the right direction?

Back to the aforementioned auction, or should I say the mass acquisition of old games; it’s always been a secret plan to collect a bunch of Super FX carts in order to extract the chips, for... something? (via pixelpolygon)

Thought check out what the Mega Drive/Genesis can do without the help of any fancy chips (via vidgam)...

...BTW, am aware of the fact that equally amazing programmers can probably push the SNES in crazy ways if given chance.

Am also familiar with the SVP or Sega Virtua Processor that drove the 16-bit version of Virtua Racing (which I enjoy better than the 32X version).

Re: the auction one last time: so the real reason why I didn't bother with making that trip to Jersey? There wasn't a Divers 2000 CX-1 on-hand (via anthony10000000)...

Here’s someone really enjoying a game of Zaxxon (via arcadezen)...

And someone... well... maybe enjoying a game of Polybius? (via dualvoidanima)

Okay, so this gif ain’t related to video games per say, yet this came up in a Tumblr that I frequent for super cool shit, plus the music video it’s from is neat, so there ya go (via mendelpalace)...

Speaking of sources for content, worlds collided with the surprise appearance of Just One Boss (which I first encountered at Death By Audio Arcade's Lo-Fi Game Night several months back) at obscurevideogames...

Worlds continued to collide with the surprise appearance of Attract Mode's Dark Souls print by Judson Cowan, in a recent article in Kotaku on the subject of Dark Souls Remastered...

One last last thing: I’ve long considered Suzuki Bakuhatsu to be THE game that best represents the Attract Mode a e s t h e t i c & I’m super happy that the RetroPals finally got around to playing it...

[heartbuiltonhope]

Good Enough: Poe Dameron x Reader

Poe Dameron x Reader

I’m selecting different writing prompts from this list (x).

“Don’t lie to me.” // “You should’ve told me.” // “I can help you.”

You made your way back to your sleeping quarters after another long day of work. Being with the Resistance was what you loved, you had craved its membership since you were a young girl and your home planet was taken and held by the First Order.

You had been tasked with intercepting and translating First Order messages since you had officially joined the fight two years ago and you loved it, you were good at it. You tried your best everyday but somehow you still felt like you weren’t good enough.

Your anxiety was something that you had to battle against since you were young and it was mostly off and on. But when it came on, it grasped tightly onto every inch of you with a promise to never let go. You felt powerless right now as the anxiety had come on with a particular determination. With all the thoughts running through your mind, you just wanted to lie underneath the covers in your room and hope that sleep would find you.

“Hey! Y/N, wait up!”

You didn’t need to look back in order to know who was calling after you. It was Poe Dameron, hero of the Resistance and the best pilot in the galaxy. He was the best at everything he did and even though he was your good friend (and your unrequited crush), you couldn’t help the awful jealously you felt towards him. He was confident and cocky, while you were plagued by insecurity and fear. It was sometimes too hard for you to be around him (for your own selfish reasons, you knew) so you had done your best to avoid any encounters with the curly-haired pilot.

You attempted to pretend like you hadn’t heard Poe cry out for you and speed up your pace to your room but Poe was adamant to reach you. You felt his hand grasp your arm and pull you back to face him. You looked into his brown eyes and facial features, which were twisted with worry.

“Y/N, didn’t you hear me back there?” Poe asked gently, but you could hear the slight annoyance in his voice. He pulled you closer to him so that you were almost standing flush against his chest.

At his words and actions, you shook your head and attempted to push back against his hold but it stayed firm. His grip tightened and he gently pushed you closer to the wall in an attempt to lessen your chances of escaping.

When you made no other reply to his question, Poe scoffed and shook his head.

“Y/N, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days. At first I didn’t think anything of it because of how crazy everything’s been but I know now that something’s wrong and I’m not letting you go until you tell me,” he breathed out.

You tried to remain strong and get this encounter over with but you had already had a hard day and you were feeling particularly insecure and emotional so you could almost feel your resolve crumbling.

“Nothing’s wrong, Poe. I’m fine,” you replied, your voice shaking more and more with every word spoken.

Poe looked into your eyes, “Don’t lie to me.”

Knowing that Poe’s determination was unyielding, you made another attempt to break free of his grip as tears began to spring to your eyes. You could feel the stares of your comrades who were passing by and you suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on you. Your breathing began to pick up and heat rose to your cheeks, painting them pink.

While you were becoming consumed by your anxiety, Poe immediately took notice and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. He led you in the direction of your room and away from the prying eyes that were staring and whispering in curiosity.

“C’mon,” he whispered to you as he shielded you from your comrades. You hid your face against Poe’s jacket, your tears staining the soft material. You felt his grasp around your shoulder the entire way back to your room. Where at first it had felt demanding and determined, it was now gentle and reassuring. Poe didn’t let you go until you were safely in your room and the door was shut behind you both.

He guided you to your bed where you sat on the edge. You cried quietly and your cheeks grew increasingly warm with every second that went by as Poe went to his knees in front of you, in silence.

“Y/N, you need to tell me what’s wrong. I gotta know how to fix this,” he whispered desperately, placing both of his hands on your arms, rubbing them comfortingly.

Your sobs continued as you tried to control your breathing. “This isn’t something you can fix, Poe.”

“Well I can’t fix it if you won’t even let me try, so please…let me try.”

More silence hung between you both. You took several deep breaths as Poe continued the ministrations on your arms. You looked into his eyes. He looked so worried and broken. You had done that to him.

“I’m not good enough,” you whispered. Hearing the words out loud brought a new onslaught of tears to your eyes.

“Y/N, who told you that? Did someone tell you that? Because if they did, I swear I will find out who made you think that and I’ll kill ‘em,” Poe spoke firmly, his voice raising. Despite his harsh tone, his touch was so gentle as he moved to wipe your new tears away before they could fall far from your eyes.

You sighed shakily. “No one told me that, Poe. It’s what I know to be true. Everyday I wake up and I just can’t stop the anxiety that I feel. I just worry about everything. I worry about what other people think and say about me, I worry if I’m doing my job right, I worry if everything will be okay. It’s just exhausting to worry so much but I can’t stop it. I’m just a prisoner to all of my anxieties and I just feel like I’m not good enough for anyone or anything.”

By the end of your speech, your sobs had returned in full force. Poe looked up at you in sheer shock. You expected him to finally realize how absurd you were and leave you alone but he stayed. Not only that but he stood, pulled you up and into his arms for a hug. Your head rested on his chest and you finally felt like you didn’t need to hold back. You had told Poe about your deepest and most insecure thoughts and he had accepted you all the same. He didn’t leave you, he didn’t walk out.

“You should’ve told me,” he whispered into your ear as he stroked your back in a desperate effort to console you.  

“It’s hard enough for me to tell anyone about my feelings, let alone the Poe Dameron. You aren’t afraid of anything.”

Poe pulled his head back so that he could look into your eyes. His facial expression was calm and he laughed gently as he wiped more of your tears away.

“Y/N, that’s just not true. I might seem so confident and cocky to everyone but I don’t always feel that way. There are times when I feel insecure and scared, too. Like when you were avoiding me and I was forced to imagine the worst. Or when you had that panic attack just now. Sure, I might’ve seemed strong but I was so close to falling apart just looking at how upset you were.”

“Poe-”

“No, Y/N, hear me out. I didn’t know you had these feelings and it breaks my heart that you do. You’re my closest friend, not including BB-8, and I want you to be able to tell me anything. Don’t keep these anxieties bottled up. I can help you. I want to help you. So please, if you ever feel anxious, come to me and I’ll remind you that you are enough. You’re always going to be enough. More than enough, actually. You’re the best, you’re the-”

“Poe, stop! I get it,” you laughed happily. Your tears finally stopped and you smiled up at Poe, his smile shining back at you.

“Glad I can make you smile, Y/N. I’ve missed seeing it,” he whispered.

A new silence hung over the two of you as Poe leaned in closer to you, his lips brushing against your own.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, waiting for your approval before he made his move.

You nodded gently and Poe wasted no more time. His lips crashed against your own in a soft kiss that held a promise. I promise that he would never leave you, that he would never walk out.

So there it is! I have been struggling with anxiety lately and I just love the idea of Poe comforting and loving me when I feel those feelings. I hope you liked it. :)

BTW I’m sorry that I haven’t been active in a while. I’m still adjusting to my new job but thank you to everyone for sticking with me. I really appreciate it. xx 

[the-kittens-of-vol-tron]

You should write some mute lance, whether its him having been mute in the past, being a selective mute, being injured and becoming mute, or straight up not talking anymore, i think you'd write it well

Okay!! 

I kinda went on my own here, Whoops

—

On contrary to belief Lance didn’t like to talk. Well scratch that, he loved talking but he didn’t like to be talked over. Everytime he was talked over he immediately clamped up and he felt a lump form in his throat. Being the youngest in his family only lead to Lance being talked over constantly. 

It wasn’t uncommon for Lance to stop telling a story because everyone started a different conversation. It wasn’t uncommon for Lance to never finish a thought because someone would constantly interrupt him. 

Lance wasn’t a fighter so when this happened he would just clamp his mouth shut and listen to what the other person had to say, because it was obviously more important. 

Lance found himself talking less and less around his parents, siblings, and classmates. Nobody ever commented on Lance’s new quietness so Lance had no reason to start talking again. Lance would go days without saying anything to anyone. He communicated through shrugs and nods. 

Why should I talk, everyone is happier when I don’t. 

-

Fast forward to the Garrison when Lance met his roommate Hunk. Hunk wasn’t loud but he wasn’t quiet either. Sometimes Lance didn’t even hear him enter the room while other days Lance would hear him hallways away.  He liked Hunk, Hunk never pressured him to talk, Hunk just kept him company throughout their days. 

Hunk would ramble about projects he was working on and homework and Lance would listen quietly. It didn’t even dawn on Lance that he had never said anything to Hunk before in his life. 

They were both in their room, Lance on his bed reading a book while Hunk was laying on the floor building something. 

“Dang it, these wires all look the same, I can never tell them apart.” Hunk ran his hands through his hair in annoyance. 

Lance looked at his distressed roommate and looked down at his book. “Why don’t you put colored tape around the different wires.” Lance’s voice slightly cracked due to the lack of use and Hunk screamed. Not like a small scream but like ‘help someone is getting stabbed scream.’ 

Lance jumped causing is book to fly across his bed and he stared at Hunk who was staring at Lance his hands over his mouth. 

Lance swallowed around a small lump that was forming at the base of his throat. He inhaled “Sorry I didn’t mean to…scare you?” Lance wasn’t sure what he did wrong exactly. 

Hunk blinked a few times and slowly removed his hands from his mouth. His breathing started to slow down as he continued to stare at Lance. 

Lance started to shift where he sat. Why he is just staring at me? Lance was about to bolt out of the room but Hunk regained his bearings before he moved. 

“I’m sorry for screaming! You just have never talked before and I thought you were mute or something. Then you just spoke and I got scared. Like I wasn’t expecting that at all.” Hunk inhaled until his lungs ached “Sorry I’m rambling.” 

Lance smiled at his roommate “Hunk you ramble all the time, I’m used to it.”

Hunk started to laugh and before Lance knew it he was laughing with Hunk. They only stopped when they heard a knock on their door. 

“Officer Davis, opened the door. We have a complaint of a noise disturbance.”

Hunk and Lance shared a look and started laughing and Hunk went to open the door. 

-

Hunk and Lance became best friends within a week. They had shared everything with each other, and Hunk didn’t interrupt Lance once when he was talking. If he accidently did he would apologize immediately and beg Lance to continue what he was saying. 

Lance started to love talking again. 

-

The only time Lance would have trouble talking would be when he came back from a break. When Lance was around his family long enough he would clamp up again, but slowly Hunk would bring him back out of his shell. 

-

Hunk could only do so much and sometimes it wasn’t enough. They had just saved a planet from the Galra and they were all meeting up with the leader. 

Now Lance didn’t usually talk during diplomatic missions but he felt obligated to speak up when it concerned him. The leader was discussing how helpful the blue lion was and how it help save the planet. 

“You must tell me Blue paladin, how does the ice work?” The leader placed his (hand?) tentacle on Lance’s shoulder. 

“Well you see, Blue and I ha-” 

“That’s interesting but like was it just the lion acting on their own?”

“Kinda, you see I have to put my bay-”

“So are you not needed to fly Blue? If she does all the work what do you do?”

“Well I have to fly he-”

“But they are magic lions, surely they can fly on their own.” 

Lance opened his mouth to respond but slammed it shut before any words were formed. Then Lance did what he did best, he shrugged. That was all he did. 

The leader looked at him a bit skeptical before nodding “So how does the ice get formed?” 

Lance shrugged again. He kept his eyes directly on the leader and his lips sealed. Lance was nudged by Shiro, he didn’t care he wasn’t going to talk. He looked at the leader one more time before walking towards Blue and flew back to the castle. 

-

Lance didn’t bounce back like Hunk prayed he would. It had been about 2 weeks since the last time he said anything. He just shrugged and nodded. Never even opening his mouth except to eat. The castle was quieter than any of them wanted it to be. Mealtimes were filled with force conversation and Lance scarfing down his food in order to leave. 

Even during missions Lance wouldn’t say anything, Blue would send the other lions messages so everyone knew that things were going well but Lance never talked. 

When they met new species Lance would stand in the background silently, just watching everyone. 

Hunk tried his hardest. He would talk about things he knew Lance liked, but Lance would just smile and pat him on the back and walk away. 

The team couldn’t get Lance to talk, and they tried. They did everything they could but Lance would just sit in silence. He didn’t even talk to Coran, and that broke the older man heart. 

-

The paladins were hosting a party in the castle with about 7 species from different planets. They all worked together and received a huge win. 

Everyone was talking and enjoying the party and Lance was standing by the wall sipping his drink. He watched a boy, around his age, walk towards him. 

His arms and neck were covered in tattoos and he has pointy ears with piercing all over his body. His skin was a soft blue and his hair was a bright red. He smiled at Lance and stood by him. 

The boy thanked Lance for saving his planet, and of course Lance caught onto his flirting techniques. 

Lance laughed, like a real laugh. The first laugh in weeks maybe months. It echoed through the room and every paladin heard it. They attempted not to make it obvious but they were all listening to see if Lance would do anything more. 

Lance, who was completely oblivious to what his teammates were doing, stuck his hand out to the boy. “The names Lance.” 

—

Self-Projecting? Do I Know Her? 

Hell yeah I was self-projecting. 

I’m basically how I write Lance XD 

I hope you like it!

Sorry it took so long!!

Thank you for this!

Btw give it up for my bisexual son ❤💜💙

[missmeikakuna]

Chad and the Incel Chapter 3

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

3rd Post: [Experiment] (POLL) Who is the enemy?

Tyrone was at it again. He was going on and on about the other team in their upcoming game being a bunch of pussies, despite knowing that most of the other team’s members were twice his size.

Chad ignored him, preferring to smile at Noah, who ignored him. The squeak of sneakers against the unpolished wooden floor filled the sweaty room. 

‘What’s the point of bragging when they’re not even here?’ Chad finally asked Tyrone while picking up a dodgeball. He frowned when he saw Noah just standing there but gave him a thumbs up when he instinctively caught a ball. Noah glared at him before pushing his fringe over his eyes and hiding behind it.

Tyrone’s glare was even more vicious. ‘What, you scared? Think the other team can hear us all the way from their shitstain of a school?’ He hurled a ball at Becky, who fumbled but ended up catching the ball. She smirked at him before frowning as if she’s made a huge mistake.

She was right, in a way. ‘You said dodgeball was the moron’s sport!’ Tyrone yelled. ‘You a hypocrite or something?’

Becky looked at the ground. ‘Middle school doesn’t count,’ she murmured. She then raised her voice. ‘We all said stupid things then. You once bragged about sleeping with a teacher and there was a needless investigation all because of you.’ 

The teacher blew her whistle. ‘Tyrone, go to the side of the court. Becky, focus on the game.’

Instead of following orders, Tyrone stormed up to Becky. Chad’s blood became magma just waiting for him to erupt. 

‘So now you‘re talking again? Decided not to be a frigid bitch? It’s been a while.  Were you afraid that if you talked in homeroom that Shakespeare’s jizz’ll come out of your mouth?’

Before the teacher could chastise him for using foul language, Chad shoved him to the ground. He leaned down and grabbed him by the collar. Tyrone flailed his arms about in the hopes of landing a punch but each punch had the strength of a baby mouse-deer. Chad’s punches, on the other hand, carried the strength of an African elephant whose family was poached. Soon Tyrone’s face was covered with blood. Chad gave him one last shove into the ground before standing up and looking at Becky with a hopeful smile. Becky scrunched her nose at him before crossing her arms and looking away. 

Noah, on the other hand, stared at him with wide eyes and a mouth that constantly shifted from a grin to a frown and vice-versa.

Chad was sent to the Principal’s office where he was given three weeks in detention rather than a suspension or expulsion like one would expect.

‘I know how you boys are,’ the Principal said. ‘Just don’t do it again.’

Chad returned to class just as the bell for lunchtime buzzed around the gym. He waved at Becky as she brushed past him, refusing to look at him.

He grabbed her arm but Becky tore her arm away from him.

‘What do you want?’

Chad smiled at her. ‘So, uh, what did you think?’

Becky closed her eyes and sighed. ‘I have no interest in your penis-measuring contest with Tyrone. And besides, you know he’s a lot weaker than you. You may as well have beaten up a baby. Not exactly impressive.’

Chad’s blood went from magma to ice, rendering the act of movement intensely difficult. All he could do was shiver as Becky continued to glare at him.

‘Are we done here?’ Becky asked. Chad paused before nodding. 

Noah left the gym last, waiting for everyone else to go before him. When he saw Chad he did the same smile-frown-smile thing he was doing before.

‘You okay?’ Chad asked him.

Noah, caught off guard, stepped back into the doorway. ‘Uh, yeah. I’ve never seen a real white knight before.’

Chad flexed his arm. ‘Finally someone appreciates what I did.’

Noah looked down at different spots on the ground, not focusing on a single spot for very long.

‘I don’t know if I appreciate it, per se,’ he whispered. 

He didn’t talk to Chad for the remainder of the day.

At home he decided to make two posts to Incels.me, one a blog post about the day.

Anicel1919- [Soy] A Chad resorts to being a White Knight

You’d think a Chad wouldn’t need to do this since he can get any femoid he wants, but I guess we live in a weird sexual economy where even a Chad has to prove himself to a femoid to get her approval. I swear to God, feminists ruin everything.

So there’s this Tyrone (or at least, he’s named Tyrone. Doesn’t look like one.) who’s picking on this Becky that Chad likes, so he beats him up. 

I’m honestly kind of conflicted. It was kind of nice to see him be all brave but at the same time I remember I used to be a white knight until I learned it was pointless for me. Femoids only care about chivalry when someone who isn’t a sub-8 is doing it. 

Or at least that’s what I thought. I overheard Chad talking to the girl afterwards and she wasn’t impressed. What an ungrateful bitch! I bet she thinks she has to play hard to get or some bullshit like that.

He then posted a poll.

Anicel1919- [Experiment] (POLL) Who is the enemy?

Femoids

Feminists

Parents

Bullies

r/inceltears (more like Cucktears, am I right?)

Chads

A few days later, there were fairly even splits between each answer, though, to Noah’s surprise, the Chads option was a little smaller in popularity.

‘Huh…’ he whispered while tapping his fingers against the desk in his room.

At school, Noah stood next to Stacy’s locker. He reminded himself of when Chad took the initiative to defend Becky and that, while it didn’t work on someone like Becky, it could work on Stacy. 

His heart stopped for a moment and then quickly went into overdrive when he saw Stacy saunter towards her locker. His smile faltered when he realised that she was going past her locker.

He followed her, making sure he was a few steps behind so as not to look suspicious. 

She strutted to the library, which Becky was just then entering. Noah hid behind a corner just outside the library.

‘Um, uh, can I… talk to you?’ Stacy asked, her confident walk collapsing into a pigeon-toed, slightly bent-over stand.

Becky walked backwards out of the library and smiled softly. ‘Sure.’ Stacy stood there in silence, fidgeting with the hem of her short sundress. ‘Sure,’ Becky repeated a little louder, sending a shock through Stacy’s spine.

‘Oh, yeah. So, um, You’re really… prart… uh, I meant to say pretty but then I ended up trying to say smart and they just kind of… mushed together.’ Becky frowned and raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m sorry! So, this is going to sound really weird and I get it if you end up being grossed out by me, but… I kind of… like you.’

By this point Stacy was covering her face. Becky moved her eyes from side to side.

‘Oh. I… I find you to be pretty as well. Maybe not ‘smart’ since I don’t know your grades, but you also seem kind enough. I should probably focus on my studies, though. I’m not grossed out by you. I like you too, in fact.’

Stacy nodded, her lips contorted into a smile that didn’t belong. ‘That’s fair. Um, if end up being less busy for whatever reason, let me know.’

With a nod of her own, Becky went back into the library. Noah’s nails tried to dig into the wall by the corner but this only hurt him. His mouth was wide open and so were his eyes.

He took out his phone and messaged Chad.

The school library’s kind of shit, so let’s go to this library near my place today. We should look for books about seduction.

Chad agreed and headed there after detention was over. This particular library, a wide one-story building that stood in front of a lake, made him forget to breathe for a moment. Everything, from the floor to the desks to the bookcases, was covered with spray paint, the vagueness of each tag implying that this was an intentional decision on the part of the library owners. Chad was careful with his steps until he realised that the broken mirror shards on the floor were stuck to it and wouldn’t hurt him. The lights flickered but were still bright enough to read a book under. The bookshelves themselves were shaped like high school lockers with each ‘locker’ opened. The library smelled of paint and old paper.

Noah snickered at Chad’s dropped jaw. ‘Cool, huh? The selection’s even cooler. I’d spend the rest of my life here if I could.’

Much to Chad’s surprise, Noah practically skipped to the dated computer in the corner of the room. To even more of Chad’s surprise, the computer worked like new and had modern features despite looking like it belonged in the early 90s. Noah typed the words ‘seduce women’ into the library search engine, causing Chad to wince and look from side to side. He relaxed his shoulders when he saw that the coast was clear.

Noah headed to one of the bookshelves and searched for the book. He then headed to another section and pulled out what looked like an anime, but as a book. Chad held back laughter when he saw the title of this book-anime. ‘Is it Wrong to Seduce Girls During the Zombie Apocalypse?’

‘Is that an anime?’ Chad couldn’t help but ask as they sat at two oak desks that the library owners had pushed next to each other.

Noah scrunched his nose up for a second but let it go and smiled when he noticed the twinkle of genuine curiosity in Chad’s eyes.

‘It’s a manga, actually. Like anime, but in comic book form.’ Chad nodded in understanding. ‘You can learn a lot about Japanese culture from reading these. I also have a feeling if I try a bunch of stuff from these, one of the techniques is bound to work.’

‘Is... that how it works?’ Chad asked as nicely as he could.

Noah glared at him. ‘Shut up.’ He abruptly opened the manga and pushed the other book towards Chad. ‘Get a Date in Five Easy Steps,’ it read. Chad held up the book and marveled at how thick it was.

Instead of reading the book, he stared at Noah, who was flipping through pages as fast as a competitive speed reader. His thick eyebrows went all the way down to his eyes and his lips went red from him biting them.

‘So, uh, what made you decide to come here?’ Chad asked him, looking away and trying to play off the ever so slight speed increase in his heartbeat as nothing.

Noah slammed the manga shut, his tears welling up. ‘Well, I… I saw Stacy… I saw her… I saw her…’

‘Are you about to-’

‘No I’m not! You think I’m a faggot or something like that?’ Chad felt tempted to look left to right again as an old memory threatened to punch its way back into his consciousness. ‘Anyway, Stacy… confessed to Becky.’

‘Wait, what? So Stacy’s a…’

‘I guess so. Well, unless she gets asked out by some Chad, I’m guessing.’ Noah lowered his voice to a spat out whisper. ‘Fucking femoids.’

‘Fem-what?’

‘Femoids. You know, women. They don’t even deserve that name. They’re all sluts. If you want to be shorter, you can call them foids.’

‘Is this to do with that black… pell thing?’

‘Blackpilled. Yeah. I’m an incel.’ Noah groaned at Chad’s question marked face. ‘Involuntary celibate. I don’t want to be celibate, but I can’t help it when no woman even talks to me.’

‘Have you tried talking to them?’

‘Don’t give me that shit. You know if I tried that a girl would just call me ugly or creepy and run away screaming. I’d rather not end up in a jail cell for a crime I didn’t commit.’

‘So why are we here?’

Noah was silent for a moment. ‘Well, to be honest, you managed to fool me for a second.’ He stood up, put the books away and headed out of the library. Chad chased after him. 

‘We can still hang out, right?’

‘Why would someone like you want to be friends with someone like me?’

Chad shrugged. ‘I guess you’re kind of interesting. I want to ask you more questions about this blackpill thing.’

Noah paused, then nodded with a frown. ‘I’ll… see you at school, then.’ He turned around and waved goodbye with his back to Chad. He then put his headphones on and slowly inhaled and exhaled.

At the school library, Becky kept reading the same sentence multiple times as Stacy’s words resonated in her mind. She eventually realised that she was playing with her ponytail and gave up on reading the textbook.

‘Shit,’ she whispered.

[hodgesjbitiwnmic-blog]

What I Learned From Magnum's The Art Of Street Photography

As an academic myself, I always enjoy learning from reliable sources and what I consider to be authorities in a field. I've given my life to photography, my greatest passion and love, so basically I always connect stuff with photography.

Learning about photography is one of the most pleasant things for me, and after 10 years of walking with my camera, there is a lot still left for me to know.

Among many other institutions, collectives and photographers, Magnum Photos has been a huge source of inspiration and knowledge for me. Approaching the end of 2018, they decided to launch a new platform that could be a sustainability experiment or not. Frankly, I hope they continue with this project which they called Magnum Learn.

Photo by Maaria Lohiya

Today I want to share with you my very own and personal opinion about this course that is called “The Art of Street Photography“. I rarely (if not ever) read reviews or comments about certain stuff like movies, books, podcasts or series. These sort of courses often get reviews online, so I didn't read any, it was Magnum, and I was in for it.

I'm telling you this before starting to give my own opinion on the course because I just remembered the online course from Annie Leibovitz that many criticized.

People were expecting to take images like hers simply from that course, and that was obviously something that was not going to happen at all. Therefore, you won't become a Magnum photographer or a highly successful street photographer from watching this course.

This is a course designed to think and inspire, not to train or program you into a brilliant photographer in no time.

The course starts with a pretty disruptive statement by Chris Boot, and it is the only quote I will share with you from the course:

“It's often assumed that the Magnum tradition is about subject matter. That it's always driven to tell stories about the world and communicates issues that interests and concern them. But really what the Magnum tradition is about is compelling pictures. They are picture makers.”

This was amazing for me because this is definitely a side that I wasn't seeing from the Agency, and that idea shortened the distance between me and the reverence I'd held for Magum. 

The course divides into the following 10 fantastic lessons or topics:

The Street and The Decisive Moment

Photo by Federico Alegría

Magnum + Street Photography = Henri Cartier-Bresson. This was the only thing that I saw coming, something related to HCB. Here the lesson revolves around defining Street Photography, something extremely complex even for all these photographers.

It is amazing how each and everyone had a completely different concept about street photography, and that honestly, was a relief for me. I define street photography as my personal approach towards everyday happenings that deserve to be seen by the society around them.

There is a lot said and even preached about the Decisive Moment, and oh boy, you've been having it wrong. Agnès Sire is the artistic director of the Henri Cartier-Bresson Foundation in Paris, and she explains a lot of enlightening things about this phrase that sounds really nice but hides a deeper meaning.

Hitting the Street

Hitting the streets is something all photographers in love with capturing the streets do. It might be a single street or several places, it doesn't matter, what really counts is to get out there and shooting.

Here you'll see how all the photographers selected for this course face the street, and you'll understand why everyone has a different concept of street photography. In the end, it is a personal thing, and we must never forget that.

In Focus – Bruce Gilden

You might like his photos or not, and it doesn't really matter because he takes the photos that fulfil him. And that is what you'll get in this episode, a very intimate moment with his way of seeing the streets and taking the photos that make him feel good. There will never be another Bruce Gilden, but the point here is not to replicate his style, it is to listen to a crazy man that is in love with what he does.

Here he shares advice and even some of the influences that he had when he started out. You will be definitely surprised by them if you already know his iconic style. Gilden has a reputation for his approach to photographing people, and after 45 years of doing it, it is nice to hear him talk so fiercely about street photography.

Framing the Unexpected

Photo by 13on

I've talked about framing in photography before. Framing is for me the area within a scene that lives forever. It is defined by the boundaries that we decide as photographers, and in street photography, this happens really fast. Here the lecturers discuss the act of deciding what will and what won't be included in a frame. They talk about patience and even being able to react in no-time.

In Focus – Martin Parr

Martin Parr has been chronicling and documenting society in a way that clearly reflects the aforementioned quote by Boot. For me, he is a master of documenting leisure and even the kitsch side of society. In this lesson, he shares with us his methods and even his editing process. Having access to such information and insight is priceless, and is worth every penny (the course costs $99).

Photographing People

Photo by Romain Lours

Street photography has been almost a synonym of documenting people or society in urban or rural scenarios. Here the lecturers talk about the challenges and joys that come with photographing people in their natural “habitat”. And well, beyond talking about what it means to them to photograph people, they also share some of their best techniques for approaching strangers both candidly and extremely obviously. Here you also can understand how certain interactions with strangers can go beyond mere street shots.

In Focus – Peter van Agtmael

Peter van Agtmael is perhaps the youngest of the photographers in this course, he works across different subjects and topics, from street to some really harsh global conflicts. Here he shares with us his approach to people on the streets, and you'll be really surprised at how he sees street photography.

Alternative Approaches – Mark Power

Mark Power really blew my mind – in a good way. He approaches street with a very different tool, a 5×4 technical camera with a medium format back attached to it. Here we are able to see a consistent photographer working at a really slow pace, and it is amazing to see how easily he can turn simple elements in the urban scenarios into amazing images.

Editing �� Creating Order out of Chaos

Alright, here is where the true magic of the course happens. After 10 years of documenting the streets, this really got me thinking. The editing process (which is not to be confused with post-processing) is the most important stage for a photographer after mastering the tool. Here is where the role of philosophy blooms as well, and for me is the main reason why you should invest (if not indulge yourselves) in this course.

Here the photographers talk about how they approach the editing stage of their workflow, but if you want to get an even deeper experience in this facet, I really recommend this fantastic book. Iconic images are not a product of serendipity, they are a product of a conscientious editing process.

Presenting Your Photography

In the last episode of this fantastic course, there was some insightful advice and guidance on building not only a portfolio or body of work but an interesting look into why we need to do it. In this point in history, where we are flooded by images online, learning how to present our work is fundamental indeed.

So, Why Art?

Photo by Spencer Imbrock

We see the world with a unique perspective, built from the sum of our interests, traditions, philosophy, ideas, influences and maturity. As long as we are able to see inside ourselves, we are able to see the world more clearly.

The art of street photography is about being able to replicate with our cameras the way we see life surrounding us.

The course is at some points poetic, because it is like photography itself, and I'm very sure that the people at Magnum haven't noticed the beautiful metaphor they've created here.

The course is extremely quick, in total it is exactly 165 minutes long, or 2h45m. That is indeed a pretty swift course, and that's why I think it is poetic. The act of taking a picture is extremely fast, it is what happens after that which makes it absolutely meaningful.

And this course is exactly the same, it is what you get by reading at a slow pace the PDFs of each episode (which are basically transcripts, photos and quotes from each lecture) and the further readings are what makes it nurturing for someone like me.

Revisiting the videos, embracing the assignments and looking at those photographers work is where the true magic happens.

You won't become a better photographer simply by watching the videos and reading the texts, you have to allow yourselves to be inspired but what these people have to share with us.

BTW if anyone at Magnum reads this, please consider making a course on Contact Sheets!!!

These are the people (mainly photographers) that built the philosophical discourse that you can witness by taking this course:

Pauline Vermare

Carolyn Drake

Richard Kalvar

Mark Power

Bruce Gilden

Martin Parr

Agnès Sire

Peter van Agtmael

Susan Meiselas

Chris Boot

It is worth your time! If you've taken this course, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Also, if there are any other courses that you love and have been inspired by, definitely feel free to share.

The post What I Learned From Magnum's The Art Of Street Photography appeared first on Light Stalking.

[ravy-nevermore-archive]

So on that note, I’d love to talk about something else that @kittenfair​ brought up in her post (at the risk of enraging Cloud Strife fans everywhere, lolll no biggie a super small fandom I’m sure) but I didn’t want to derail that thread because this is quite a tangential thought—

Why is that relevant? A quick googling has informed me that the average heights of men in Japan (between 2004-2013) is 5′7 - I’m gonna guess it was probably around that or shorter back in ‘97. This is, not coincidentally, a familiar number - it’s how tall the OG says Cloud, our protagonist, is. So for the original team creating this game, the protag is average height, your “relatable” everyman. Now, if they wanted to make the villain tower over him? 6′1 isn’t bad at all! In fact, that’s a solid seven inches taller. Huge gap. Saying Sephiroth is 6′1 establishes him way taller than Cloud.

For some reason it’s a little harder to google up the average male height of the total human population without it being broken down into specific regions, but this webpage has some nice infographics that make their (albeit somewhat edited down) data a bit easier to visualize. Let’s look specifically at this one:

From the countries they selected, 5′4.75″ is the lower boundary and 5′11.25″ is the upper boundary, making the mean 5′8″ and the median of this somewhat arbitrary selection 5′9.25″. Wikipedia’s more complete chart has 5′2″ as the lower boundary in Indonesia with 6′1″ as the upper boundary in the Dinaric Alps, making the worldwide mean height for men 5′7.5″. (You can’t really find an accurate median or average from this data.)

You can maybe see where I’m going with this. Cloud is not actually a shrimp. This is a post about body image and our skewed perception of it.

Even more damnably, I’d like to call attention to Livestrong’s (still somewhat arbitrary) selection of countries, ordered by height rather than alphabetically as they have done:

India: 5 feet 4.75 inches China: 5 feet 5.75 inches Mexico: 5 feet 5.75 inches Japan: 5 feet 7.25 inches Brazil: 5 feet 8.25 inches Australia: 5 feet 8.75 inches Canada: 5 feet 9 inches Russia: 5 feet 9.25 inches France: 5 feet 9.25 inches Italy: 5 feet 9.25 inches America: 5 feet 9.5 inches The UK: 5 feet 9.75 inches Spain: 5 feet 10 inches Greece: 5 feet 10.25 inches Germany: 5 feet 11.25 inches

I’ve highlighted two countries on this list, and they are the US and Japan. The US is highlighted because Livestrong is an American website and specifically addresses their article to American audiences, but also because the US tends to influence a lot of worldwide culture, and I think especially in our fandom on Tumblr, which is also a US-based website. But I've highlighted Japan because, of course, that’s where the source material we’re discussing (Cloud Strife’s height) comes from.

Out of this list, is there anything you might notice about places where the average height is lower than 5′7″ and places where the average height is higher than 5′7″? Because I am noticing a very eurocentric trend.

Here are some other countries with the smallest average male heights from Wikipedia’s list:

Bolivia: 5′3″ rural India: 5′3″ Vietnam: 5′4″ Nepal: 5′4″ Malaysia: 5′4.5″ Sri Lanka: 5′4.5″ Nigeria: 5′4.5″ India: 5′4.5″ Peru: 5′4.5″ Bahrain: 5′5″ Baghdad, Iraq: 5′5″ North Korea: 5′5″

Here are some of the countries with the tallest average male heights (they have multiple entries so I’m not going to list specific heights, but these are all in the 5′11″–6′0″ range):

Netherlands Sweden Denmark Norway Germany Iceland Serbia

So, when we say that 5′7″ is short, could it possibly be that what we’re saying is that 5′7″ is short for white people??

Now, granted, Cloud is arguably white despite coming from a Japanese game. Then again, he is arguably Japanese because Japanese character designers have a habit of creating visually Caucasian characters who we simply have to accept are Japanese/Asian “Because They Say So.” But he’s mostly perceived as white, I think, which might be why nearly everyone looks at him and his height and goes, “omg, he’s so short??”

Except...even among white people, he’s not all that short. If you consider that the average men in the US and UK are around 5′9″–5′10″, and the average men in Australia and Canada are around 5′8–5′9″, 5′7″ is only an inch shorter than that. (And I have chosen these four countries because stats say that’s where the highest percentage of my followers are from, with the overwhelming majority being US-based.) And idk about you guys but even if the difference of an inch is statistically significant, on an individual basis I never stand next to someone an inch or two shorter than me and go “wow wtf you’re so much shorter than I am.”

But...did you know that the average male heights in these countries was even that short? I live in the US and I usually observe people anecdotally marking the distinction between “short guys” and “tall guys” around 6′0″, which is a laughably unrealistic “goal” IMO. There’s also a reblog meme that goes around the Tumblr RP community now and then significantly proclaiming “reblog if your muse is shorter than 6′0″!” like that’s some kind of distinctive feature even though most humans are under 6′0″.

So where do we get these unrealistic standards from?

“The Average Height of a Model”

According to industry standards, fashion models are preferably tall but not too tall. Elite, a top modeling agency, specifies height requirements on its website. Women must be between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 11 inches tall. Men must be between 5 feet 11 inches and 6 feet 3 inches. Models who want to enter the Ford Supermodel of the Year Search, should be at least 5 feet 8 inches.

I used to work in a department store, and specifically for a while I sold ladies’ clothing in the “special sizes” department: “Petites” and “Women’s.” (That’s code for “short” and “fat,” which by the way are separate distinctions and there are in fact some clothing sizes that are both W and P, although good luck finding even W or P in most stores.) The technical definition of a “petite” woman, in US clothing sizes, is a woman under 5′3″.

According to Wikipedia, the average US woman is 5′3.5″.

But the average fashion model? Is 5′9.5″. And how many women do you hear in the 5′3″–5′5″ range bemoaning how “short” they are? I am 5′1.5″ and I can tell you I hear a lot, because it never slips by me unnoticed because I need to catch my eyes before they roll out of my head and you tend not to miss that.

Around here at least, men are less likely to be caught complaining about their supposed physical deficiencies than women because it’s considered unmanly to do so, but if you listen long enough and hard enough and gain the confidence of enough men under 6′0″, you might just hear a recurring insecurity expressed about the failure to reach that height and about consequently “being short.” That’s not altogether unwarranted, because, disgustingly enough, more often than I hear men expressing a preoccupation with being 6′0″ or not, I hear it from women who say they won’t even consider dating a man under 6′0″.

This is significant because of the next thing I’m going to bring up, which is the part that is going to make the Cloud Strife fandom v angry with me. 😂

Why is Cloud infantilized so much for being “short”??

Unlike the other questions I’ve posed here, I’m not asking this to set you up because I have a proposed answer ready. I am honestly baffled and a little disturbed by this. If it isn’t right to sexualize Tifa because her breasts are large (and it’s not), then why is it acceptable to treat Cloud like a cute little baby child almost precisely because he’s the shortest man in the cast? And more importantly, how does that make actual men who are 5′7″ or shorter feel? (You can come at me about “male fragility” but I hold that all humans have feelings that are worth considering even if they fall into privileged groups.) I can tell you as a woman under 5′2″ that I am sick to death of being infantilized for it, and that’s while falling into a demographic which is supposed to enjoy being thought of as “cuter” or whatever. I don’t, btw, but at least I’m not openly derided and thought of as “less of a [my gender identity here]” than I would be if I were a short man (ooo, there’s some intersectionality we never talk about).

So, a proposition for your consideration: If you tend to associate Cloud with being cute and diminutive, maybe pause and ask yourself if these feelings are influenced by his height and culturally instilled notions of shorter men being thought of as less manly, and if these assumptions do not warrant being challenged. It’s no less than I would ask anyone to do of assumptions about Tifa being hypersexual possibly having anything to do with the size of her breasts.

I welcome respectful discussion, but please note if I feel your contribution is more about arguing with me than about actually making a thoughtful contribution to the topic, I will reply on my personal blog @ravys-ravings rather than trouble my followers with unproductive bickering.

[resilienceredemptionresurrection]

Yesterday was a good day. My husband told me I received a package from Amazon in the mail. This was a little strange because I hadn’t ordered anything. I finished what I was doing before checking out the mystery package. Very surprised indeed.

It works! Booksgiving, that is. I participated in a Booksgiving “event” hosted by The Bloggess (you need to check out her blog, BTW). This is the third year for it, but the first year for me. In a nutshell, the idea is that you select a book on Amazon and add it to a special Booksgiving list separate from your usual wish list. Another blog reader may or may not fulfill that wish. You are supposed to state why you need the book, but I not everyone shared a story. There are also a few steps to follow, but Jenny (the Bloggess) has very clear instructions. Post a comment on the blog with a link to your special wish list. That’s it.

My surprise gift from Leigh.

I was able to send Leigh a thank-you message through the Amazon link.

A wonderful person by the name of Leigh sent me the book on my list, which I thought would help me create a less scrambled mental reality (I’m a “thoughty” person, and not always in a good way). My thoughts often (but not always!) create a reality characterized by worry, a bit of dread, low-grade anxiety, and sometimes the feeling that life is a chore. I lay awake at night thinking about end-of-life care, nursing homes, what to do with my not-great crochet projects and old journals* (who knows when I might die), my next creative venture, the characters in the last Netflix show I watched (I hope Saul and Robert stay together!), Facebook comments that need an informed rebuttal, and so on (and on). You get the idea! So…I look forward to reading the book and letting you know if it’s helpful or not. Almost forgot: The book is “One Thought Changes Everything” by Mara Gleason.

Paying it forward. To be honest, I had forgotten I had even posted on the blog asking for a book, so I had not picked out someone to gift a book to. Now I would. I admit to some resistance; spontaneous generosity, unfortunately, is not in my DNA. I know many good and giving people (my sisters among them), and have often wondered why this beautiful trait eludes me. It is a conscious effort for me. So, there’s that.

The beautiful thing is, it was hard to find someone who had not already been gifted a book from this generous group of blog readers (and there were more than 2,000 posts). Inspired, I persisted and eventually found Sarah who had “The Four Agreements” on her list. I hit “buy this book” before any second thoughts kicked in. Fortunately, I noticed at the last moment that I had inadvertently added things on my wish list to her shipment. This included a bag of parakeet seed, a pair of shoes, and “The War of Art” by Stephen Pressfield (a good book BTW). What a surprising and puzzling package she would have received!

Receiving this unexpected gift, but more importantly, being the recipient of a stranger’s generosity is a wonderful feeling. Truly made my day, and I still feel happy as I see this book on the nightstand. So, Leigh, thanks again! You’re amazing.

Give it a try, especially if you’re not naturally generous (like me). The giving muscle is one I want to strengthen.

*My many journals–which I have kept on and off for more than 30 years–contain way too many self-absorbed and embarrassing thoughts. Since I’m being cremated, just run them through with me. They’re in the duct-taped box marked “private” under the basement stairs.

If you like hearing from me, I would love for you to “like” and or follow me on Facebook–StorylineCreations. Thanks for reading!

      Surprise in the Mail Yesterday was a good day. My husband told me I received a package from Amazon in the mail.

[cifro]

Ohh, did they change/edit smth in the final volumes of eldlive? I'd really like to hear about the loose ends they managed to end well.

There were a couple iirc, though it’s mostly just expo dumb in the first chapter(?) of the 10th/11th volume

I’m basically writing this from the top of my head, so take it with a grain of salt dear anon haha

So obligatory “spoilers-ish down below” warning 8D

Btw this is in no particular order and mostly random imo haha

Mimi finally got married w/ the Yukimine-guy from vol 7-8-ish (the one where she held a card before Chuta and co got training from Madigan)

Matsutaro and Michiyo actually being part of the “fate-weavers” of Mothers and the reason why they (aside for Gucci ‘cuz he’s more of a collateral damage) had the mountain incident

King’s dead bro (the reason why Heaven Sider (aka King and Alba) started the whole “DESTROY ēlCIVILIZATION” shenanigans) was also part of the “fate-weavers” and the reason why he did that was to see which Monitalien (Drew (aka Chuta) or Migrane (aka King (yeah, that’s what he named it, ‘cuz it gives him headaches lol)) who’ll evolve(?) and be the one who’ll be the seed(?) to help Mothers’ Mother flourish

Chuta was able to “connect” w/ Drew again, ‘cuz Misuzu put some of Drew’s cells(?) in her discarded hair pin (the crescent moon shaped one and was held and buried on Earth by Chuta) and both Chuta and Drew still remember ‘cuz of their previous symbiosis(?)

Also the hair pin can disguise SPH, but we already knew that since she was able to use it to not think Chuta’s SPH as stinky

Also, also, Scarlet actually have one in her arm too

Lane Brick (still a funny name ngl) journey from being a pirate to an big bro officer guy so to help Misuzu avoid her fate as Mothers’ Mother and was the one who demanded her to be an officer like him in exchange the Mothers having his future-seeing right eye

Also they can’t kill him, ‘cuz the eye’ll get bad too (basically working under supervision)

Dr. Love and co surviving a crash via a life-boat and Matsutaro’s SPH (it was defense-related I think) and landed on one his fellow science-friends’ labs

The ēlDLIVE SSD (solar-system district) managed to be revived by Dr. Love ‘cuz Riggs drank an illegal and discontinued(?) motion-sickness medicine that had “pathogen antibody(?)” reactions before the impending “dusting” (aka that time they had a birthday party before the biggest party duster happened) and since the station was air-tight, it wasn’t contaminated w/ anything else (to quote Dr. Love “it’s been a series of lucky events” indeed lol)

Gucci having a deux ex machina (time-space null-thing) to help Chuta fight Heaven Sider, but eventually used it for the final fight w/ Mothers (he got the message from him only near the end lol)

THE FRIGGIN DREW-OOP MECHS FOR GLOCK AND CO

AND THEY’RE IMMEDIATELY ABLE TO SYMPATHIZE AS WELL BUT ONLY FOR LIKE 30 MINS OF ENERGY LOL

Also, that oop mechs was Scarlet’s research when Dr. Love went awol then gave it to him when they meet again later lol

Lane getting his eye back via Misuzu (as Mothers’ Mother) and told him to apprehend Keishi 4 years later (after time skip)

Kieshi (the blue guy, w/ long hair and beads crossing his face) being the semi-big-bad (along w/ Mothers I think and fate too, prolly)

Mothers wanting to killing 1/3, enslaving 1/3, and surviving the strongest 1/3 of ēlCivilization (also why “fate weaving” happened) ‘cuz there’s gonna be a “universe reset” in a couple of centuries and everyone in ēlCivilization’re gonna be wiped out, so they want to raise their survival-rate and made the “seed” (monitalien) to do that lol

Kieshi’s being the one who allowed the SSD died (’cuz “Mothers fate-weavers”) and also killed Scarlet (the old woman professor that Dr. Love met) to emulate the feeling of suffering like Chuta so he’ll “sympathize” w/ his “Drew” like him, ‘cuz of his love for her (he helped her escape from “her fate” before)

Also, he’s apparently the one why the “patogen antibody(?)” motion sickness medicine got banned and discontinued, ‘cuz he knows it could resist(?) the pathogen

Also, also apparently at one time Scarlet-Dr.Love is like Misuzu-Chuta (aka Mother-candidate-monitalien candidate) and the latter is basically the back up ‘cuz of the former(?)

An ēlDLIVE station who’s sent to the “fight destination” at first attacked the SSD, got into video-contact, suddenly signal got cut of video-contact after shouting “TRAITOR”, then when meeting up face-to-face they let them pass ‘cuz “in all the years of being an inspector, I dunno anymore which one to believe” (aka heel-turn moral compas moment, but okay)

Mothers and Kieshi trying to mass-produce “Drew-seed” and select the “surviors” to artificially implant them

Kieshi trying to defeat Chuta-Drew by becoming bigger, but failed ‘cuz the Kieshi-fake Drew duo doesn’t have the same bond/sympathy as Chuta-Drew (it’s an anti-climatic fight, from an action perspective imo)

Misuzu being kinda tsun-tsun abt her wishes and wants

Chuta being the bigger guy to let her go, but everyone in ēlCivilization told them just take her (the time-space-null-thing got cracked and now everyone can see what Misuzu-Chuta-Drew are thinking/projecting), we’ll find another way to survive the Big Wipeout w/ technology and stuff!

Misuzu finally accepting she wants to be w/ Chuta, Mothers basically got dissolved (since she resigned from it lol), and everyone has a happy ending :D

That’s pretty much things I can write atm (it’s arnd 1-2 a.m when I wrote this lmao), sorry if it got derailed a bit anon haha

Anyway even though I write it like that and thought the last two-ish volumes were a bit speedy info-dump-ish, I still enjoy reading them nonetheless -- I still recomend buying the volumes just for the sake of getting more context of my poorly-worded-words haha :”DDD

If you still have questions or smth, just let me know and I’ll try my best to be more eloquent and cohesive next time (and also w/ picture next time) haha (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Also in a not-so-related note: writing this has made me think ēlDLIVE has a womb metaphor and I dunno what to take of this thing...

[missamerichale]

perched poolside: Punta day 3

I awoke on Friday morning with a jolt of excitement and energy, because we were only planning on doing 1 thing that day: NOTHING!! My God, this is my most favorite thing to do on vacations. Don’t get me wrong, I love going on adventures, but you can’t have a solid vacay without spending at least 1 or 2 days doing absolutely nada.

I threw on my ball cap, swimsuit, sprayed down in sunscreen, and we made our way to the Theater to access wifi for .2 seconds before getting breakfast (our first “real” breakfast at the resort!) and then hitting the pool. Breakfast was lit. As mentioned earlier, the food at this place kind of sucked, but you guys know how much I love breakfast. They had pancakes, omelettes, scrambled eggs, fruit (that PINEAPPLE though), taters and more. I was in breakfast buffet heaven. Note: I didn’t drink coffee 1 day on this entire trip which is pretty miraculous, considering I usually get a raging headache if I don’t have at least one cup of that brown good good before 8AM every day.

After the chow down, we walked straight over to the pool with the swim up bar. 

Is it sad I asked one of the employees if the bar was open at 9AM? No, because it was open, as a matter of fact. 

Also, first time I ever experienced a swim up bar, you guys!! It was AMAZE!! I’ll post some pictures later. We quickly became bffs with the bartender, Luis, who was whipping us up more rum and cokes at top speed and even took a selfie with us. We chilled ALL DAY at the pool, soaking up sun, getting drink refills, hanging out in the “bubble pool” which looked like a giant hot tub but really just contained pool-temperature water, and people watching. We took a break to get lunch (a.k.a. basically a plate of potatoes and pineapple because that was the only somewhat tasty food in there), and wandered back outside for a while more before getting ready for dinner.

That night, we made reservations at the “American BBQ” restaurant, and you guys, that place made me LOL so hard. First off, we walk inside and they have soccer or something (sports) playing on two flatscreens in the back. None of the other culturual restaurants had this, but OK. Then... we hear the music that’s playing. Drumroll PLEASE....

Huntin’, Fishin’ and Lovin’ everyday by Luke Bryan. HELL yah!! MURICA!!

The music selection was my fav portion of dinner - it ranged from Luke Bryan to Celine Dion to Alicia Keys??? It was so all over the place I legit felt like I was getting music whiplash. But, I was totally digging it, because it was the first English music I ever heard them play since we arrived (aside from Bruno Mars on the catamaran). 

We ordered burgers and fries for dinner. The burgers were... different. They didn’t taste like regular meat? Correy and Liv stopped eating theirs a few bites in. I made it halfway before calling it quits. The fries (POTATOES) were pretty lit though. BRB while I go on a strict potato diet.

We decided to rush through dessert so we could go to the buffet and try to find some better food there. That was really hopeful of us, because we knew the buffet kind of sucked, but it was still a nice night. That’s when screaming lady walked in. And yes, of course, she was American.

Can I just say that we, as Americans, probably represented a minority of people there? Everyone at the resort spoke Spanish - some didn’t know any English. And there were people from ALL over the world: Russia, France, Italy, Sweden, Germany and more. Probably every country. Languages flying around all over the place. We were immersed in global cultures ya’ll.

ANYWAY, screaming lady, walks into the buffet and stops right in the middle of the buffet area, near the main food station. I would say there are a good 200+ people in here getting dinner at this time. It was packed and almost every table was full. Lucky for us, we had front seat views to her mental breakdown.

She was on the phone and began to scream, and I mean SCREAM, “YOU BETTER GET THE F**K OVER HERE NOW I SWEAR TO GOD. I’M NOT F**KING PLAYING GAMES. YOU WANT TO F**K AROUND?” and everyone stopped what they were doing and were just staring at her basically. I think at one point I actually put my head in my hands, ashamed to be sharing the same language as this lady.

“I AM SCREAMING IN THE BUFFET AND DISTURBING EVERYONE BECAUSE OF YOU. DO YOU F**KING GET IT. I WILL CONTINUE TO SCREAM HERE BECAUSE OF YOU UNTIL YOU GET YOUR A** OVER HERE.” I was like please lord jesus and mary someone SAVE OUR SOULs from this DEMON!!!

In a minute or two, which seemed like FOREVER, she stormed away and was to never be seen again. But what was she screaming about??? We spent a good 30 minutes gossiping at our table about what it could have been after she disappeared.

Theories:

- Her husband/boyfriend/friend was late to dinner (super minor offense but maybe she’s sensitive)?

- Her husband/boyfriend/friend left the resort and was hanging with some other ladies (this seemed more realistic to us)

-It was her children messing around and they were late to dinner?? (I sure hope she wasn’t dropping the F-bombs to her kid like that but by the way she functioned I wouldn’t be entirely surprised).

It was a gd rollercoaster ride. And you guys. It doesn’t end here.

Enter, small girl to the bread table.

She was probably like 7 years old. Again, we had front row seats (clutch). There was a table literally full of stacks and stacks of bread: rolls, slices, and full out loafs you could even cut yourself (which were AMAZE, btw). Small girl proceeds to lift herself onto the side of the table with her hands so she can lean in and look at the rolls in the middle. There were like 200 but apparently she needed to get a good look at all of them. While this is happening, her hair is whisping all over the loafs. She like legit yeeted her body on to the bread table. We just oculdn’t believe it. We were loling but also grossed out at the same time.

Then, she attempts to reach for a roll in the way back, almost falling on the bread, missing, and then settling for a smaller piece. THEN. (it’s not over yet). She proceeds to grab a loaf BY HER BARE HANDS, cut off a piece, take it, and miserably fail to put it into the toaster in which she thought she was for sure going to catch something on fire. 

She walked away with her 384928374 pieces of bread unscathed.

And whenever we saw her later on at the resort, we would say “hey look, it’s our friend!” and “wonder if she yeeted herself onto the bread table today.”

Disturbing, but highly entertaining.

Adios amigos!!! Logging off so I can eat another frozen meal and cry.

Hales