#I want to get some more fruits esp since all I have are some apples | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bittersweetmelxdy · 5 years ago

Note

Hey. Love your work. Could you do a headcanon, mlqc boys babysit their children with managing their work, while mc is away for a day.?

Hi, don’t know why this took me so long, I would write something go to bed and then wake up not like how it sounds an then delete it. So I’m so sorry this took so long and I thank you for your patience dear. Anyway, there is no way these boys are getting their work down whilst looking after their babies, esp. when they don’t do it on the regular XD Hope you enjoy it xxx

Victor:

It was while you were helping Victor cook breakfast, that you mentioned that you needed to be at the company today for a series of meetings. You spoke about it casually, also mentioning how the children had the day off from school, and “it’s really a coincidence you’re off today Victor, I’m sure the children would love to spend time with you. But if you’re too busy-”

Victor sighed, shut off the stove and then pulled you by your forearm, hushing you with a deep kiss, before flicking your forehead, “Alright, alright, I’ll look after the children today, whilst you’re at work.” Despite the slight pain in your forehead you smiled slyly at Victor, taking the plates containing the children’s breakfasts to the table, hip checking Victor on the way.

“Melody, Hugo, breakfast!” you called as you stepped into the dining room, putting the plates on the table as your five-year old and your two-year old ran into the room, nearly tripping Victor in the process as Hugo tripped over his little socked feet and ended up on his hands and knees in the middle of the hallway.

“Don’t run in the hallways.” Victor scolded, reaching down to scoop Hugo into his arms, checking him over for injuries, and kissing the side of his head before putting him in the chair in front of his breakfast, but just before he let go, Hugo started to fuss.

“No Dada, I sit wiv you.” Hugo pleaded, his hands clutching Victor’s wrist. “Dada, please.”

Victor smiled affectionately at his son, throwing a glance at you, and picked Hugo up at took him to his seat at the head of the table. After sitting down, with Hugo in his lap, Victor waited until you had moved Hugo’s breakfast of buttered soldiers and sliced apples, next to Victor’s breakfast, before he began to eat.

Whilst you all ate, you broke the news to the children that although you were going to work today, their father was going to be looking after them today. Melody excitedly clapped her hands, beginning to chatter about all the things Victor could do with her today. Hugo, being so little, didn’t quite understand exactly what you meant, but fed off Melody’s excitement, and clapped his hands together with her, looking up at his father for approval.

However, that calm happy atmosphere disappeared as soon as you prepared to leave, Hugo was so used to you being with him, that as soon as he realised you were leaving, he started to fuss. You tried to soothe the squirming toddler that was desperately making grabby hands in hopes that his mother would pick him up and take him to work with her.

“Shh, Hugo, son, it’s fine your mother will be back soon.” Victor picked up Hugo and hushed him gently, his deep tones soothing the toddler, who realising that he was at least being held, turned to blink owlishly at his father.

“Dada, can we bake today? You said the next time you were off you would help us.” Melody bounced along next to him, as he walked back to the kitchen.

Victor glanced at the door to his study, but realising there was no way he was going to be able to do any work unless the children were tired out, and right now they definitely were not, shook his head and walked back to the kitchen. Placing Hugo on the counter, he took the step stool and placed it so Melody could hop onto it and be at the right height for the counter.

“Alright what do you want to make?” Victor asked, rolling his sleeves up to show his forearms.

“Cupcakes!” Melody cheered, stumbling slightly on the stool and Victor quickly reached out to steady her.

“Hey, careful, you’re as bad as your mother sometimes.” Victor shook his head gently at his daughter’s antics.

After getting the bowls and spoons out, Victor gathered ingredients whilst his son banged on the counter with a spoon and Melody clapped as they sang nursery rhymes together.

Victor let Melody stir the bowl, instructing her carefully, whilst he weighed out the ingredients to the exact gram. However, they really were their mother’s children in terms of clumsiness, as just after Victor added the flour to the bowl, Hugo decided that he wanted to stir as well and grabbed the edge of the bowl tipping it.

With a comedic ‘POOF’ Victor blinked surprised, then waved away the flour cloud to reveal his son, covered head to toe in flour. Snorting slightly, muffling it with a clenched fist in front of his mouth, before reaching out to ruffle Hugo’s hair, the creating a second smaller flour cloud around his head.

Remeasuring out the flour Victor helped Melody fold the flour into the mixture, leaving briefly to change Hugo out of his flour-covered clothes, and after he scooped the mixture into various colourful cases and put them into the oven. He then picked up Hugo and moved him over to the sink where Melody was already washing her hands.

He then washed up the dishes, Melody drying them for him, receiving a kiss on the forehead for her efforts, and occasionally Victor would scoop some bubbles into his hands and then transfer them into Hugo’s hands for him to play with, (but he did have to stop Hugo from eating the bubbles for a minute).

The two children were happy to then sit and watch a movie whilst Victor checked the cupcakes, taking them out once they were ready, and taking two over to the couch where the children were. He gave Melody a whole one, and then split the other one in half so Hugo would not have a whole one.

After the children munched away, Melody happily gifting her empty case back to her father, and then the three of them finished the movie. Once the credits were rolling Victor looked beside him to see that both children had fallen asleep.

Shifting Melody under his arm, and placing Hugo so he sat on his lap and rested on his chest, Victor rubbed the bridge of his nose, surprised how tired out he was looking after the children, and decided to close his eyes for a minute.

The three of them slept peacefully until you were heard unlocking the front door of the house, the children not waking but Victor grumbled as you gently shook him awake, taking Hugo from him, and kissing Victor’s forehead as he emerged from sleep.

“Hey Victor, can you take Melody to her room? These two won’t wake until dinner.” you smiled fondly at the two sleeping children.

After the two were tucked in, you and Victor made your way to the kitchen to start preparing dinner, after a period of silence stretched between you two, you hip-checked Victor.

“I know you had work to do today, did you manage to get any work done?” you asked gently.

Victor sighed, finishing his vegetable prep, and moving so he was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your waist, head resting atop yours, “No... but that’s okay, I’ve never looked after both children by myself, so it was...interesting to say the least.”

“I’m sure you did a good job.” you assured continuing to cook, whilst remaining in Victor’s embrace.

“Of course, I did.” Victor announced and you snorted.

“My mistake, I forgot I was married to Mr Perfect CEO Victor.” you dramatically swooned at his title.

Victor pinched your cheek playfully, “Dummy.” he chuckled wryly, leaning down to kiss you, drawing away slowly, “Thank you.”

“For what?” your fluttering eyes, swimming in confusion

“Filling my life with excitement.”

Lucien:

Lucien had just finished his research paper, and had been granted a couple days off in reward, and since you had to be on set for this particular shoot, Lucien had casually offered over breakfast as the three of you ate that he wouldn’t mind looking after Aurora today for you.

It’s not that you didn’t trust Lucien, in fact you were actually really excited that Lucien wanted to look after your daughter, especially since this would be the first time you had looked after her alone. So, you happily agreed and proceeded to gather your belongings to leave, however, Aurora was not as excited for her mother to leave her.

“Butterfly, aren’t you excited your Dada’s going to be here?” you smiled, and she started to sniffle.

She nodded emphatically, “Yeah, but why does Mama have to go?”

“Mama’s off to work, but I heard Dada say he was so excited to colour with you.” you changed the subject effectively, watching Aurora stop sniffling and whip her head to her father expectantly.

“Really Dada?” she asked.

Lucien smiled and reached over, ruffling her hair affectionately, “Yeah, but Dada’s not very good so you’re going have to teach me.”

“Okay Dada!” Aurora beamed up at him, her smile near identical to yours, and you and Lucien shared a glance and a smile, at your daughter’s quick emotional turn around.

Standing up you put on your shoes, and grabbed your purse, Lucien following you with Aurora in his arms. Just before you left, he wrapped his arm around your waist drawing you into his chest, as he kissed you soundly, drawing away from you slowly. Your eyes fluttered, before smiling, love-struck at him, and after nuzzling your nose against Aurora’s, making her laugh, you detangled yourself from your family and left for work.

Lucien watched you leave until you were out of sight, before closing the front door, he then walked to the kitchen, pressing a kiss to the side of Aurora’s head after she was settled at the table. After placing the bowl of cut up fruit in front of Aurora, with her favourite spoon. and after sitting opposite her with his cup of coffee, Lucien enjoyed the soft domesticity of sharing breakfast with his daughter.

Aurora finished, presenting her empty bowl at her father with pride, “Done Dada!” she beamed and Lucien smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

As Lucien walked to the sink to wash his cup, Aurora slipped off her chair and padded over her father, tugging slightly at his trouser leg to get his attention. Lucien looked down and saw his daughter had brought her bowl and spoon to him.

“Thank you, little Butterfly.” Lucien patted her head and she then padded off to the living room, Lucien walked her walk away, musing how she was really was growing up quickly.

When he returned the living room, Lucien saw that Aurora had pulled some of her toys out, setting out her makeshift tea party. Seeing her father, Aurora ran over, grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the rug, pointing at where she wanted him to sit.

“Sit there Dada.” Aurora said.

“You’re missing a word there Aurora.” Lucien squatted down in front of her, prompting her gently.

Aurora paused, furrowing her brows as she thought, “Oh! Pwease Dada!”

“Thank you.” Lucien sat down, as Aurora set out her stuffed animals, and then proceeded to pour imaginary tea into various cups, carefully handing them to her guests.

Lucien sipped at the tea as he listened to Aurora tell him about the “rules” of the tea party, and explained the very intricate dynamics of her stuffed animals.

Who knew, that Patch the stuffed panda was best friends with the Howly the stuffed dragon but at the last tea party they fell out and that’s why there not sitting next to each other right now, (neither did Lucien, but he did miss the last tea party, as he was working on his research paper).

After the tea party, Aurora proceeded to tidy up her tea set, singing a made-up song as she did so, and returned her stuffed animals to her room. Lucien stood up, stretching his legs and then sat on the couch. Aurora returned with book, and after struggling to climb up on the couch, Lucien helped her up and set her down in his lap.

“So, what are we reading today Aurora?” Lucien asked.

“This one!” Aurora tapped her hands on the cover twice.

Opening it up, Lucien proceeded to read ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’ to his daughter’s rapt attention, Lucien’s deep, soft tones varied with the plot of the book, changing his pitch for the different characters and overall captivating Aurora as she went on a fairy-tale adventure.

After taking a break for lunch (consisting of sandwiches and juice), Lucien helped Aurora gather her art supplies, and set up on the floor to colour with her. As Aurora coloured her elephant a vibrant sky blue, Lucien watched fondly, before she handed him a picture of a whale and handed him a dark blue coloured pencil.

“Here you go Dada.” Aurora handed him the pencil and then continued colouring.

Lucien slowly coloured in the picture, more content to watch his daughter colour within the lines with absolute concentration. Her little tongue poking out and her brow scrunched up as she lay on her front her feet kicking out in tune with a song she seemed to be singing in her head. After another twenty minutes, Lucien noticed he no longer heard any scribbling from his little companion.

Looking to his side he noticed that Aurora had fallen asleep whilst she was colouring, her colouring pencil still clutched tightly in her hand. Quietly, he stood to his feet and then gently picked her up, prying the coloured pencil carefully from her hand. Walking over to her room, Lucien pulled back the covers and then tucked her in. watching her sleep for few minutes, Lucien huffed a laugh and then leaned down to kiss her forehead.

After walking out of the room and turning the lights out, Lucien smiled, hoping he could spend more days with his daughter like this, whilst he set down to read some more research papers as he waited for his wife to come home.

Arriving back, you collapsed next to him of the couch, you sighed deeply, “Aurora asleep?”

Lucien put his research papers aside and drew you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Hard day?”

“Long day,” you corrected, “although, I think I just missed my family.” turning you head to lock eyes with Lucien, you smiled tiredly and nuzzled further into his embrace.

“Don’t worry,” Lucien squeezed you tightly, rubbing his hand over your arm soothingly as you drifted in and out of sleep, “we missed you too.”

Once you were asleep, Lucien lifted you bridal style, and like with Aurora he tucked you into bed, however this time he also joined you, embracing you lightly as you both fell asleep.

Kiro:

When Kiro suggested that he could look after the kids so you could have a day off, you stared at him wide-eyed shock, you have twins, is Kiro sure he wants to do this, really???

Kiro grinned, winking at you, “No problem, Miss Chips, you just go have fun today and leave the little Sunbeams to your own personal Superhero.” he then finished his persuasion with drawing your into his chest and kissing you soundly on the lips, continuing to grin as you giggled at his antics.

Placing your hands on his chest and pushing to create some distance, you sighed, still smiling and booped his nose, “Okay, Mr Superstar, I’ll call Anna and tell her she doesn’t need to come, but call me if you need any help okay?” Kiro nodded and both of you turned your head at the sound of two pairs of little feet padding towards you.

“Mama!” two voices called out and you and Kiro separated as Maia and Haruki ran towards you.

Kiro knelt down and opened his arms, allowing Maia to run and jump into his arms, and he hugged her tightly. Noticing Haruki padding over to you slowly, you knelt down as well, carefully taking his little hands in yours.

“Mama going?” Haruki asked quietly, blinking his big eyes at you, and you melted.

“Yeah, but your Dada’s going to look after you today, and he said you’re going to have plenty of fun okay? So be good for Mama and I’ll be back for dinner.”

“Promise?”

“Promise Haru.” you brushed his golden bangs back from his forehead and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You then turned to Maia and squeezed her nose playfully, “You too Maia. Be good for your Dada, okay?” she giggled, and you kissed her forehead as well, before standing up, Kiro following suit.

“Okay, I’m gone.” you put on your coat, shoes and grabbed your purse before opening the door.

“Bye Mama!” the twins called from the door, waving, and Kiro finally shut the front door, and herded the two of them to the kitchen to eat breakfast.

After a fun breakfast of pancakes, you had made the night before, knowing you had to be at work (though you had made it to make life easier for the babysitter), with each member of the family rousing their pancakes in more syrup than you would have maybe allowed. Kiro seeing that it was a sunny, warm day, suggested a trip to the park.

The twins hopped up and down and rushed to change out of their pyjamas and into some other clothes, whilst Kiro made a simple lunch of sandwiches to take with them to the park. Kiro soon got his first trial of the day, chasing each twin down in order to put sunscreen on them, both Maia and Haruki disliked the idea of putting the sunscreen on and they kicked up a fuss every time you told them they had to wear it. By the time the family were ready to set out, Kiro wiped the sweat from his brow, a little tired from the ordeal.

Kiro walked down the streets of Loveland, towards the local park, holding a twin with each hand as they walked along beside him, stopping occasionally to take pictures with fans. By the time they reached the park, Kiro stopped and kneeled down to lay down some rules.

“Okay you two, stay within my line of sight okay, don’t wander off.” Kiro looked both the children in the eye, so they understood.

Maia and Haruki nodded, clasping each other’s hand and ran off towards the play structures, Maia racing ahead to slide down the slide whilst Haruki climbed on the structure, but Kiro soon followed when Maia waved him over, whilst Haruki sat at the top of the slide.

“Dada, Haru’s stuck.” Maia pointed at her brother, who was frowning at the top of the slide.

Kiro walked round to the side of the slide, resting his hands on the edge of the slide, so that he was close to his son.

“You scared Haru?” Kiro’s heart squeezed as his son looked up at him still pouting and nodded, “It’s okay, look I’ll stand at the bottom, and Maia will slide down with you okay?”

Maia nudged Haruki, and he made space for her whilst Kiro went to stand at the base of the slide, the two held hands and soon slid down together. As soon as the two reached the bottom of the slide (giggling from the thrill), Kiro knelt and scooped the two into his arms laughing as well.

“Wow, I’m so proud of the two of you.” Kiro said smiling at the two.

“Did you see how fast we went?” Haru, no longer scared of the slide, spoke excitedly, his eyes shining.

“I did.” Kiro said, ruffling his son’s golden hair, “Let’s take a break for lunch, okay?”

The three of them munched on their lunch and after they were finished, Kiro walked the children back home, them both chattering away about how much fun they had at the park.

Once back at the house, the two of them raced into the house, and Kiro took the two into the kitchen to have a drink of water, hoping that the two would now be ready to settle down so he could work on some songs. However, they were his children, and thereby had an endless amount of energy.

The two ran around the house, Kiro having to follow to make sure that they were safe and playing nice, and after picking up after the twins for 2 hours the twins finally... finally settled down in the living room, once Kiro had given them a snack. Once Kiro sat at the piano, prepared to at least do some work, the two of them climbed onto the bench next to him.

“You two want to play as well?” Kiro asked, the two children nodding quickly.

He then taught the children a simple song, and the three of them played on the piano, their laughter and their music echoing through the house, the symphony of sound greeting you as you walked through the front door, tiptoeing to surprise them.

Later that night, after the children went to bed you asked Kiro how the day went.

“You do this every day?” Kiro asked, yawning, “It was only one day, and I’m exhausted.”

“Every day Superstar.” you teased, kissing him as a reward for his hard work throughout the day.

Kiro tightened his arms around you, burying his face in your chest, “Miss Chips, I don’t deserve you, I don’t know how you do it.”

You giggled, “You did good today Kiro, the kids really enjoyed being with you, sorry you didn’t manage to get any work done though.”

“S’ok Honey.” Kiro said slowly, and noticing he was falling asleep, you carded your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp slightly as he drifted off to sleep.

Gavin:

Prequel to this is: Ice Cream Negotiations, where Gavin looked after Caleb by himself but this time he has to deal with both babies.

“You’ll be okay right, Gavin?” you asked, as you tied your hair up into high ponytail, and then tied your yellow headband around your head.

“Love, you forget I’ve looked after Caleb before.” Gavin reminded you, placing his hands on your shoulders, and pecking your forehead lightly.

“Yeah, but with Ellie being so little, this is a whole new ballgame, Gavin.” you bit your lip, slightly worried.

Ellie was only 8 months old, and although Caleb adored his sister, you worried that because Ellie needed so much attention, Gavin may struggle to deal with the two children. Ever since Gavin had looked after Caleb by himself, Caleb was a lot more affectionate with his father. Always talking to him after work, and telling him about his school day, and it really warmed your heart to see the two of them interact.

When Ellie was born, you were worried there was going to be an awkward adjustment period for Caleb to realise he was no longer the only child. However, much to both of your surprise, Caleb was entranced by Ellie, loving to play with her, and poke her round chubby cheeks, and happy to just sit and talk to her whilst she smiled and cooed at him.

But because of how attached Caleb was to you, Gavin didn’t have too much experience caring after a baby (unlike Caleb, Ellie didn’t fuss *much* when her father held her). But if Gavin seemed confident, you were happy to put your trust in him.

Caleb didn’t have school today, and you had an early start, so after getting dressed, you and Gavin tiptoed into his room, to say goodbye to him.

Caleb woke up as the light from the hallway broke into the room, “Mum?”

“Hey son-son, I’m off to work, so be good for your Dad and look after your sister, okay?” Caleb nodded, “Love you.” you kissed his forehead, and then left.

Once at the door your spun around and as Gavin rested his hands on your hips, “Gavin, now remember, no sweets until after lunch, I do not want to come home to hear that you gave Caleb ice cream so early... again.”

Gavin ducked his head in embarrassment, and let go of your waist with one hand to scratch the back of his head, “Noted, Love.” his nuzzled his nose against yours, and after sharing a kiss you were off to work.

Turning around, after locking the door, Gavin looked up at the time and noted that he had a good few hours before the children woke up, to review some of his case files. After going back to the master bedroom to grab the baby monitor, Gavin settled himself down on the living couch so read through the cases he was in charge of both for the STF and the Loveland police force.

This continued for at least 2 hours, before Gavin’s concentration was broken by the sound of a soft wailing coming from the baby monitor. After squinting at the grainy picture on the monitor, and locating his daughter, Gavin shook his head smiling softly and prepared to go get her.

Reaching the nursery, Gavin opened the door gently and turned on the lights.

“Hey, Ellie. You ready to get up now?” he asked peering over the crib, to see his daughter, squirming in her blankets.

Recognising her father, Ellie turned to look at him, tear tracks still visible on her cheeks, and then graced him with a big gummy smile, reaching up for him. Gavin softly smiled, reaching down and picking her up, remembering from when Caleb was born to support her properly. Once she was resting on his chest, Gavin walked over to the kitchen, bouncing her lightly.

After breakfast, which pertained Gavin helping Caleb make his toast and then the two men of the house entertained Ellie, whilst she took periodic bites of baby food, and fed herself small dices of kiwi that Gavin can cut for her. Caleb asked his father to help him build a Lego set with him, Gavin agreed, and after placing Ellie on the mat in the living room next to Caleb went to tidy the kitchen.

Caleb played with his sister, whilst Gavin watched from the kitchen sink, Caleb was teaching Ellie to clap along to various nursery rhymes he had heard his mother sing to her. Ellie babbling along to the tune in her own language.

When Gavin returned his sat down behind Ellie, pulling her into his lap, and handed to her, her mother’s blue stuffed bunny (which she then prompted started chewing on its ear). And then for the next couple of hours, Gavin and Caleb carefully built the Lego set, whilst Ellie babbled along in praise of the two.

Gavin’s father had never spent time with Gavin like this, so this whole experience really pricked at Gavin’s heart, vowing as he watched his son determinedly build the Lego set, that he would never let his son go through what he went through throughout his childhood, regardless of whether he ended up having an Evol or not.

By the time they were finished it was time for lunch and the three took a short break whilst Gavin made a light lunch of ramen, and content slurping filled the dining room, as the two men scarfed down their lunch, (Gavin taking a break ever so often to feed Ellie, and occasionally plucked a noodle from his bowl, blew on it, and then handed it to Ellie as she was very curious on what her family were eating).

Since it was a nice day, being both warm and sunny, Gavin took the children outside, and Caleb was content to run around the garden blowing bubbles whilst Gavin sat on a picnic mat with Ellie and helped her catch bubbles while she shrieked with laughter.

But it seemed the sun made Ellie a little sleepy, and she soon yawned, Gavin noticing immediately.

“Hey son, Ellie needs a nap, stay here, I’ll put her to bed and then we can play catch.” Gavin said and relished in how his son’s eyes sparkled at the interest his father was taking in spending time with him.

After putting Ellie down in her bed, gently kissing her forehead and caressing her cheek with his knuckles lightly, Gavin returned outside, carrying the baby monitor, where Caleb was bouncing excitedly on his feet, holding a ball in his hands, waiting patiently for his father.

The two of them continued to play catch, Gavin giving his son pointers, and musing about in a couple of years how he could teach Caleb to play basketball. They were so lost in their game, that they didn't notice you had come home, only noticing when you cleared you throat, waving at them happily as both their heads whipped towards you.

“Mum!” Caleb yelled, dropping the ball and raced towards you, where you wrapped his arms around him and spun him around.

“Hey Caleb, you have fun today?” you asked holding his hands, crouching slightly to be at his eye level.

“Yeah Dad was teaching me to play catch!” Caleb pointed at his father, who was scratching the back of his neck embarrassed as you arched an eyebrow at him.

“I can see.” you turned back to your son, “Why don’t you go wash your hands, I brought some takeout for dinner and some cake.” at the word “cake” Caleb rushed past you into the house and you turned to look at your husband, who simply walked up to you and rested his hands on your hips.

“Welcome home Love.” Gavin smiled, your heart skipping a beat at his joyful expression.

“Did you have fun today?” you teased, as Gavin nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Yes, although I did miss you.” Gavin laughed and then led you further into the house, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“What a surprise I missed you too!” you exclaimed, and the two of you continued to laugh before you parted, you to collect your daughter, and him to find out where his son had wandered off to.

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kouei116 · 5 years ago

Text

Diabolik lovers Lunatic Parade: Kanato Sakamaki

Earl Walter stole Yui's heart and replaced it with Kleinod. Yui and Kanato went to the earl's castle to ask for it back, but he wasn't there. They were advised to try find the butler to ask where his master was. Kanato wanted to get some rest first so they headed to a hotel. Due to the parade, the hotel was fully booked, Kanato demanded to see the manager - who recognized Kanato was Karlheinz's son and ordered staff to prepare the best room for him. While they filled in the accommodation card, the receptionist asked if Y was his friend, and Kanato replied: “She is my wife" (♡´艸`)

K: Hey Y, do you hate becoming a vampire that much?

Kanato told Y if Kleinod broke, it'd still be fine because he'd turn her into a vampire and they could be together forever. Y couldn't make a decision abt becoming vampires yet, Kanato got upset that she didn't understand his feelings and ran out of the hotel room. Y ran around town shouting his name looking for him. Seeing her desperately trying to find him, eventually Kanato came out in front of her. She must be tired from all the running so he suggested going to eat. While eating, Y suddenly fainted. Kanato brought her back to the hotel, he apologized it was his fault causing Y to run around earlier, he was very worried that if she remained human and someday she will die, he'd really hate it, he wanted her to stay with him forever. Y told him again that she wanted to find her heart first before making a decision. Kanato respected her decision and agreed to help get her heart back.

K: If you don't use cunning/dishonest means, you won't get the things you truly want.

They went to Reine de Aji general good store (Aji the lady owner here is the younger sister of Saba - the shop owner in Vandead Carnival game) to ask abt the butler. Aji asked them to get her the forbidden apple pie before answering. This forbidden apple pie was extremely popular and too many people queuing to buy, Y said this couldn't be helped and was drinking smoothie talking to Kanato in this CG. He wanted to use his dad’s power to get the pie but Y wanted to find other ways.

A boy bumped into Y, spilling smoothie all over her clothes. Kanato was angry demanding the boy to apologize to Yui properly and the boy started crying. Y told the boy she didn't mind, it's alright. The boy apologized to both of them and ran away, then came back with his Dad - who was the forbidden apple pie shop owner. The Dad said Y forgave his son with a smile, she was a kind vampire (Y noticed that he mistook her as a vampire) so he wanted to gift Y a forbidden apple pie. Kanato accepted it but Y wanted to return the pie bc she didn't treat the boy kindly to receive rewards. Kanato got mad (bc he wanted the pie to exchange for the butler's info) and ran off. Y tried to follow him, she bumped into the boy and he said his Dad was testing Y, it was actually a poisoned apple pie; if Y was a genuinely kind person, she'd return the pie.

Kanato arrived at the shop, giving the pie to Aji, but now she said she didn't remember any promises with Kanato?! She was happily having the first bite when Y rushed in and warned her abt the poison. Aji was skeptical but Yui's face didn't look like lying. Aji thanked Y, said from the start she didn't plan to tell Kanato the butler's whereabouts, but for Y, she'd help. The butler liked medicine herbs so when the Earl was away, very likely the butler would be at the Smaragd volcano to gather them.

Kanato told Y he found it strange why the Earl still put the Kleinod inside her after stealing her heart, and he felt like everybody they met in town today were testing them. He worried abt Y's health and suggested returning to the hotel to rest. Y slept and had a dream abt a mysterious man telling her: he granted her wish, since he took the heart away, she didn't get into any troubles with the vampires; the Kleinod can work forever, the Sakamaki lied to her abt it being temporary because they want to suck her special blood. Y woke up to a worried Kanato but she lied that she didn't remember this nightmare well enough to tell him. She trusted Kanato but she got anxious if he would still love her without the special heart.

Y and Kanato went on a gondola to get to Tirkiss waterfall near the volcano. The scenery was very pretty, Kanato said in town they couldn't enjoy the parade so they should take a break now, they know the butler is here, no need to worry. A fortune-teller lady invited them to try her shop that was famous for accurate love fortune. She gave Y a cup of tea to drink up then looked at the remaining tea leaves to predict that Y was having doubts abt Kanato. Y denied this but suddenly her body felt hot, her consciousness started fading and she fell into the water. Kanato jumped straight into the water to save her but the water was strong, she realized if going on like this, he’d drown...

K: ... Quiet! Only I can decide your fate. Don't die without my permission, I won't forgive you!

Y got drifted away and couldn't see Kanato anymore. She woke up in a cave with Kanato collapsed nearby. She was very happy he was still alive. She apolozied and told him the truth abt the dream. He said he only knew those kleinod to work temporarily, and:

K: Besides ... Even if the heart disappears, I will always love you. It's more important to me that you are alive than being able to suck your blood. I thought even if I don't say it in words, you already understood ... but seems like I was wrong. I ... love you *kiss*

Suddenly lots of bats appeared <Minigame Whack a Bat>

K (patting her head): It's a reward for your working hard (fighting the bats in the minigame). I’m praising you.

After beating the bats, it wasn't likely that the butler was here so they should return to the hotel. Y sneezed, Kanato asked if she was cold, checked her forehead and sensed a bit fever, told her to give him her hand bc it'd be troublesome if Y collapsed (aweee) Y saw somebody collapsed and ran over to check even when Kanato didn't want them to get involved. This man woke up and explained he was picking up a rare moss growing inside a cave that has poisonous gas even to vampire. He bowed his head to thanks Y and Kanato for saving him. They noticed he had a red granite stone on his forehead and they realized he was the butler! Y explained her situation, the butler could only give them the card written by the Earl hinting the location: On the full moon night, when it raises the crown at the very high peak, I'll return. (sorwy, I don't understand what this means TwT)

Y thought the Earl could be either at the tower or the mountain. Unexpectedly she overheard the girls nearby talking about the Zatan's mouth at Diamante fountain: if you put your hand inside the mouth, it will tell you the truth, but no one have tried yet because it's said that a disaster may occur to you e.g. splitting up with your lover. Kanato was very cool put his hand right in and got the answer: The Earl will appear at Onyx tower. Y asked if he wasn't scared of losing her, but he said: “If that happens, I will take you back. It's not likely that you belong to anyone else but me...”

They came to the tower and Earl Walter was there. He said he’d return Y's heart with a condition that she vowed to part from Kanato forever. She replied that he was wrong, he didn't take her most important thing. There's no way she'd exchange the 2nd most important thing (her heart) for the most important thing (Kanato). Kanato was very happy to hear her feelings. Suddenly the tower started to crumble and they got thrown outside, Kanato managed to catch her and said:

K: Y! Don't leave my side. Hold on more tightly. Please don't let go no matter what. I will definitely protect you, now and ...in the future. You can stop worrying, it'll definitely be alright. I love you... I love you.

When Y woke up, she and Kanato were in the Earl's castle. He said he did want her heart but he realized that Y and Kanato were worthy of keeping such a treasure hence he returned it. Kanato demanded him to show his face but he refused. He hoped they would enjoy the festival and he needed to leave for his next target to steal.

Y had fun at the parade because Kanato was at her side. The forbidden apple pie shop owner gave them an apple pie (not poisoned one this time yay) and Kanato fed Y from his fork

Y: ... It’s extremely delicious! Just like you said Kanato!

K: That's good. You can eat the rest.

Y: Eh, is it ok for you Kanato? Does it not suit your taste?

K: No, it's not that. Because, as expected, I like this better *kiss*... Fufu, thanks to you eating the apple pie, this feels sweeter than usual *Nnn....n...Nnn.....*. You're a special. Y, to me you're probably the forbidden fruit. I love you ... From now on, you're mine and mine alone, forever ....

Care for Vampire:

K: ... Thank you. Thanks to you, Y, I've felt much better. Let's sleep together like this. If you sleep with me, I will get well. (...) From today, you will be my personal pillow. ... Are you happy? ... Fufu, me too. Please let me hug you like this forever...

---

I really like Kanato's sub scenario with Carla. Kanato requested room service to hold a sweet party just for the two of them in the hotel's guest room aaaand Carla was eating their sweets there. Kanato was getting grumpy but Carla complimented Kanato's taste in choosing sweets - esp the religieuses that have high artistic value and sweeter than anything he has eaten, he’d ask Shin to get it for him - making Kanato smile again. Then Carla, Kanato, and Yui ate religieuses happily ever after hahaha. Just like my sis-in-law said, it's nice to see my old man and little boy getting along (人´∀`) The route is sweet, Kanato always worried abt Y’s health, he jumped straight into the water to save her, I squeaked for 15′ when he said Y is his wife haaa（˶′◡‵˶）It's just... I guess bc Yui's heart was missing, there wasn't any sucking blood scenes, only a few kissing scenes at the end, my ears starved playing this oughhh ;u;

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers lunatic parade #kanato sakamaki #kouei116 psvita #kouei116 dl #kouei116 dllp #kouei116 translation #diabolik lovers translations

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on TRFTP Book 1 Chapter 16

• Remember how I dubbed the book The Royal Fast-Track Pregnancy last chapter? Well, yeah. That’s my title for this book from now on.

• If you don’t want to see these posts on your dash, here are the tags to block: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• We’re now in the MC’s third trimester, celebrating her baby shower. Her in-laws show up, she gets gifts, she barely notices that her corgis have had puppies (but why am I surprised, this is the same MC who didn’t care enough about her corgi in Book 2 to notice he was with Liam to help with his proposal). And a couple of nosy royals come to visit.

• Over here in India, we do this ceremony around the 7th month, and it’s called different names in different places but with similar traditions and setups. Up North it’s called godhbharai (which literally means “filling the lap” - since the mother’s lap features prominently here as a symbol of maternal care, therefore the gifts are placed on a cloth over her lap - symbolizing her fulfillment once she reaches motherhood and the blessings she takes with her), and mostly fruits and sweets are placed on her lap as a blessing for prosperity and luck. You have games…but the mother isn’t exactly expected to participate in them - she’s the guest of honour, she sits and enjoys!

• She definitely isn’t there to submit to such a thorough interrogation of her political choices either!!

• The rest of the world treats a baby shower like a time for the mother-to-be to relax and be pampered within an inch of her life. Cordonia treats it as an opportunity for her to beat non-pregnant people at their version of egg-and-spoon and pass personality tests.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Universal Studio 77 YouTube channel

Maxwell: The rash rec YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and The BizzysChoices YouTube channel

• Title: Great Expectations

Alternative Title: The State of My Bladder Is of Far More Importance Than Any of This Nonsense.

• Believe me, during your final months of pregnancy your bladder will be virtually non-existant (which is why you’re recommended kegel exercises early on). In medical terms they call this “urinary incontinence”, which is due to those muscles facing way more pressure than usual). At one point I recall joking about how we should add “The Bathroom” at the top of my home address, coz I was almost taking up permanent residence there 😐 I wouldn’t be worrying about politics and intrigue at a time like this, I’d be worrying about my kegels!

• Kiki doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to flex her diplomatic muscles in this story, but when she does, gosh does she deliver. Following her advice this time is what allows us to buy time for ourselves.

• Unfortunately that’s all the space PB will allow Kiara, we’re now back to our regular schedule of treating her like she doesn’t matter.

• Either Maxwell or Hana (in Maxwell’s playthrough) will lead us to the boutique to pick out an outfit.

• On a level of having more gold (therefore bling) than peach, that diamond option already wins. At least in the silhouette I can pretend the peach parts of this dress don’t exist. (I still wound up using the free peach outfit for my failplay of this chapter though)

• Me before meeting Hana: pls don’t make her wear that awful lbd again pls pls pls i beg

Me seeing Hana wear the silver one: …okay that’s not too bad. I’m just going to keep headcanoning this one as a gown though.

• Liam wears his official black tie outfit, Hana wears her silver dress, Maxwell wears his black suit and Drake his deep blue one.

• In everyone else’s playthrough besides Hana’s, she is the one in charge of this “planning committee”. Penelope is in charge of…throwing confetti, which annoys Olivia to end.

• Marguerite from THM steps forward with her good wishes, and asks us about the sex of the child - at which point the narrative lets us know that it’s tradition in Cordonia to not know until the delivery. Which makes sense, since we’ll probably be allowed to customize this in a different book? And in some countries (like mine, where it’s illegal to find out before delivery) there are really, really good reasons to not give anyone - especially the family - that information.

• We meet the rest of the royals: Eirik is as self-centered as he always was (either that or Khaan really desperately needs to make sure no one knows he’s that VR game developer from San Francisco who ran away from Eros), Lerato and Lesidi are cupcakes as always, and the Three Big Royals are shady as always.

• The good thing about the scene where Isabella tries to touch your belly is that it is established as out of line straightaway. You win or lose no points however you react, and while you’re expected to be diplomatic and impress them - the narrative is clear on how wrong Isabella is on doing this. And even if you don’t show a reaction, your LI most certainly will.

• PB is trying to convince me that Amalas has a better sense of boundaries, as if she didn’t stalk me in Texas and squeeze out every possible detail about my past life like an orange in a juicer. She only seems better because the Auvernese have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

• Most of the LIs have lost a parent, but have a sibling (except for Hana, who is an only child with both parents living. Liam has lost both his parents, but has a stepmother in Regina so she fulfills that role here) - which means that in every case besides Hana’s, we see one parent and one sibling who has become a parent (optional, in Leo’s case).

- Liam: Regina and Leo (YOU EXIST! I WAS ALMOST CERTAIN PB FORGOT YOU WERE THERE). The two lightheartedly tease each other, which is phenomenal progress considering they were at each other’s throats in RoE! Leo comes to wish the MC in all playthroughs.

- Hana: Lorelai and Xinghai. Hana has sent them an invitation but wasn’t sure they’d make it, and depending on whether she is married or not their response varies. In the friendly playthrough, they respond positively but the focus is still very much on seeing the MC. In the romantic playthrough, however, Hana is allowed to show her nervousness and slight fear (how generous, PB!), reaches out to the MC for support, and the parents are tentative in their approach, with Xinghai even assuring Hana that they will cut short their stay if she wants them to. To which she confirms that she does indeed want them here. The two come to wish the MC in all playthroughs, as Leo does.

- Maxwell: Bartie Sr and Bertrand. Bartie Sr tops even King Eirik for self-centeredness (“make way for House Beaumont!”) and is…just plain weird in the way he greets the MC and his younger son (even Maxwell notices this, commenting that ol’ Bartie is “laying it on a little thick”). Bertrand is the more normal, sorted one, which is a sentence I thought I’d never say in this series. The team was pretty smart in how they scattered BertVannah between two LIs - Drake gets a visit from his sister, Maxwell gets a visit from his brother. Neither Bartie Sr nor Bertrand make an appearance in any other playthroughs which is just as well coz I saw PLENTY Bertrand for 7 whole chapters.

- Drake: Bianca and Savannah. Bianca asks the MC if Drake has been “pulling his weight around the house” while the MC has been “worrying about that baby” - nice to know she expects the same of her son as she did for her son-in-law (or perhaps a little less than what she expects of her son-in-law, considering Bertrand had to get back an entire saddle from the person she sold it to just so he could win her favour, after she allowed her sister to treat him like crap for his entire stay at her home). Savannah mercifully doesn’t get a lot of dialogue and merely compliments our glow. Savannah only appears in this playthrough, while her husband Bertrand only appears in Maxwell’s. Which is a good thing. I’ve had enough of that couple to last me a lifetime (sorry Bertrand). You see both Bianca and Savannah only in this playthrough, and I’m EXTREMELY relieved we don’t see Leona.

• It must be clear to anyone who has read all the playthroughs by now - only Leo, Lorelai and Xinghai make appearances across playthroughs, which could either be because they haven’t been shown at all in the books until now, or possibly because they may feature in Lythikos.

• Okay it’s egg and spoon time but with apples. This is Cordonia. It wouldn’t be anything but apples.

•

When you’re a new mom the last thing on your mind is grace and poise ok. Put really really simply and not in too much detail…your brain will feel more scrambled than scrambled eggs esp in the initial weeks, coz half the time you’re trying to make sense of your kid’s sleep schedule and the other half is your body just….feeling WEIRD (hormonal shifts, postpartum bleeding, and generally the overall effects of childbirth - whether it is vaginally or via C-section, both of which come with their own set of challenges). Your own sleep schedule is going to be all over the place and even after the kid starts sleeping all through the night, sometimes your brain has already been wired to wake you up at 2 AM or something. Your back is gonna hurt like a bitch. Your hair will become a hornet’s nest within the first two weeks coz what even is combing (okay, okay, that was probably just me 😅😅). And this is just when things go normally, okay.

You don’t need grace and poise to take care of a kid at this stage - you need stamina and a strong support system. Cordonia (I mean YOU, TRH team) you really need to talk to more pregnant people 🤦🏽‍♀

(on a more serious note…this is why I feel there needs to be more dialogue on parenthood. What it’s truly like and how it really feels, without the kind of fear that holds especially new parents back from admitting to their feelings about it. New parenthood with all its mess and stresses, its frustrations and confusions. No matter how prepared you are, no matter how much reading up you’ve done, there will always be something about that experience that will knock you sideways. I’ve learned that the less shame there is around admitting that parenthood can be messy, can be trial-and-error rather than perfectly executed every single time, can be imperfect, the better it is for everyone. And maybe this is a lesson that parents in some places have had the space to learn already - and that’s amazing - but there are a whole bunch of places where that’s not the case. And there is so much pressure to make it sound better, to convince people this is an easy happy journey even when it isn’t, or to believe that your well-being isn’t as important as that of your child, that many new parents don’t speak up…believing they’re the only ones who feel this way).

But I digress. I do know that “grace and poise” is expected of pregnant royals and even pregnant celebs. I do know that often they’re expected to step out looking picture perfect after having to battle lack of sleep and insane hormonal changes. They’re expected to have “fit bodies” just months after they’ve delivered. This happens in the real world. And the more we talk about it? The more we can help parents, esp new parents who might struggle more to articulate this experience.

• So…where was I? Oh right, grace and poise. In a race involving a spoon and an apple. A spoon and an apple. Excuse me while I facepalm🤦🏽‍♀

• My bladder would never survive this race in a real-life pregnancy situation, I just know it.

• Self-centered or not, at least Khaan-in-disguise points out the obvious: that everyone else has a physical edge over us. But Leo assures him that speed doesn’t help you in this game (does that make me the tortoise among a bunch of hares if I win? 🐰 🐰 🐢 🐰 🐰)

• Scarlett-Emerson-in-disguise is an angel coz she’s the only person apologizing for bumping into my bump.

• Now…if you bought the diamond scene where we drank wine with Isabella, you’d get intel about Bradfraud that could throw him off in the race:

Now…I really like this bit, okay. I like how thrown off he is that we know his secret. But I’m not entirely sure how wise of a decision it is to let him know so soon that we know, or whether it will bite us in the ass eventually. Could we have maybe waited for a better opportunity? Idk.

Anyway, so that definitely works. But IMO in a petty, inconsequential way that means little in the long run (or could be dangerous too idk). This is intel we could have saved for a better time.

• This is why it makes more sense for the MC to be told what Olivia (and possibly Liam) is investigating. Or at least for her to actually keep asking until one of them caves in and tells her. If she’d known about an Operation Swan maybe she wouldn’t openly goad him so easily (or maybe she would. It’s the MC after all).

• There’s a funny sequence in this where everyone falls on each other like ninepins. And another one where Olivia gets impatient and just throws her apple over to the finishing line, asking Kiara if she won and Kiki is like “non. You’re extremely disqualified.” Oh Kiki. Never change 😂

• ….exactly how large are these spoons. It’s an apple. That would cross over from spoon territory to ladle!

• Once the race is over, we’re back to our tables for lunch. The MC’s bump almost knocking a plate over sparks a conversation among the mothers in the table about their baby bumps, and then about labour. Lorelai in particular speaks about her delivery being “more…grueling than what I expected” but quickly assuring the now-nervous MC that once the child is placed in your arms it will all be worth it. That description could cover a whole range of experiences…from mildly stressful to extremely terrifying. I always hope it’s the former.

(I have another question though: so if Lorelai was so ecstatic over Hana’s birth, where and how during/after this euphoric period did Hana’s parents suddenly begin to feel “devastated” over not having a son then? Coz I distinctly recall Hana speaking about that in Book 1. Or is this another retcon?)

In any case…it’s nice to hear that at least for Hana’s sake.

• If you’re married to one of the guys, then it’s Hana who put together the tiny hors d'ouvres (“personally tested all the options for deliciousness and visual appeal!”). If you’re married to Hana, Madeleine is in charge of this part of the baby shower (“spent a week focus group taste-testing the sides for both aesthetic and delectability”). In any case, it’s all tiny food that’s too cute to eat.

•

…isn’t this the guy who constantly complained about tiny portions? Why wasn’t he just taking extra helpings then? (though he also still complains about food from another country looking like “abstract art”. First Hana’s meal in China, now this. No one cares for your uninformed, unwanted opinion on their cultural dishes, Drake. Good thing Maxwell shut that nonsense down immediately)

• Isabella and Bradshaw’s communications with us have always used strength, might, power as a central factor in their dealings with us. Amalas’ approach is no less insistent, but in a different direction. Culture, cuisine, these are the things that seem to stand out to me atm. If the Auvernese mindset reminds me somewhat of Lythikos and Olivia, the Monterisso one looks like it could bring to mind Castelserraillian, Kiara and her family, and Liam + Hana who are more inclined to explore art and culture.

• Everyone’s kid likes grapes, apparently.

• The dish Amalas presented for the guessing game is what they call a “Sweet Potato Surprise”, but you gotta admit the ‘mango’ option is the most entertaining 😆 (with the carrot option, she claims that she mentioned a root vegetable, which would be close enough)

• A pair of cute corgi puppies make their way to our table, and depending on whether you bought both adult corgis or not, the puppies are either theirs, or strays. Like…why are you paywalling the CHILDREN of two dogs if we actually bought the dogs. I could actually justify this level of greed if it were backed up by an equal amount of effort in the book overall, but it isn’t.

• Anyway, they only feature together, so you have to decide on two names that will fit in one space. It kind of reminds me of how they’ve drawn Merlin and Morgana - in one sprite. I’m guessing at some point there will be an option to allow Penelope to clothe them as well.

• Like most of the fandom has already said by now, Bastien and Mara can’t even be trusted with a pair of pups.

• If you don’t buy the pups, Penelope offers to have one of her friends “in the canine couture world” to adopt them.

• Here’s the parenting advice from all the in-laws!

Liam: Regina speaks of the importance of regulating sweet intake closer to bedtime which is true because a child on a sugar rush will transform into the Energizer Bunny and go on forever. Like, this is very much how a child on a sugar rush reacts to the notion of sleep:

Hana: This one seems to highlight Hana’s competitive nature, perfectionism and ambition, and I guess there could be a lesson there in that you need to give yourself time to grow into things you want to do, and that means allowing yourself the space to topple over or struggle once in a while, the space to make mistakes. But I doubt it because weren’t these the same people who deemed her a failure for things that were beyond her control??

Maxwell: Maxwell is sorta kinda called out in this one, both for being “peaceful looking” and for wrecking havoc with those House documents lol. I’m guessing Bartie Sr is here in our baby shower mostly to look suspicious. What exactly was in those House Documents, ol’ Bart?

Drake: Bianca gives us some age-old advice about sleeping while the baby sleeps, which is something my mother and aunt (who looked after me post-childbirth) swore by. They would insist I spent whatever time kiddo was sleeping to be when I got my shut-eye too, because if you don’t take that and pull an all-nighter feeding the child, it’s going to be near-impossible to function. But you really, really need to have lots of support around you during such times because that kind of schedule leaves you little to no time to do much else besides occasional eating, small routines and light exercise (thankfully the MC has staff and a strong support system who can help her). In this case Bianca quips that Savannah was the easy one, and Drake the really fussy one. Drake isn’t quite convinced (who are you kidding Drake you’re still fussy).

• You get two extra pieces of parenting advice from the rulers, pretty characteristic (at least in Auvernal’s case since we’re more familiar with their culture) of where they come from. Amalas’ is “know your baby’s moods, and you can spot a tantrum before it happens”. The Auvernese “pearls of wisdom” say “to show weakness is to admit defeat” - Jesus, these guys have lost already, then.

• Olivia now has plans for a dart playing game - where she plans to use her daggers instead. You can either refuse to join, or enthusiastically participate. The LI warns you to be careful in the second option.

• If you join in: Isabella and Amalas hit near-center, both claiming different things in the face of their defeat (Isabella claims Olivia’s dagger to be a “terribly balanced weapon”) and Amalas tries to throw Olivia off by claiming her “aim was off”. Both of them are clearly thrown off by the unfamiliar weapon. At this point Olivia counts on the MC to “show them what Cordonians are made of”. If you succeed, you get a glimpse of your LI going all John Mulaney on the foreign royals (“that’s my wife!”)

• If you don’t join in: the LI and the MC’s friends form a protective circle around her, and Olivia chooses to stick to the usual darts. Isabella and Amalas are both in their element, with tools they’re familiar with using on a dart board. Isabella’s is still just near the target, Olivia’s is even closer, and Amalas’ is the closest - almost knocking off Olivia’s dart.

• Either way, we’ve effectively pissed off Isabella who angrily asks for “best of two?” 🤭

• Time for presents!

• Uh oh. The rattle comes from Auvernal. And it’s the same rattle as the one on the book cover. Soooooo…what does that hint at? Will our hand be forced, somehow? And will we eventually have to make a secret pact with Monterisso to get out of it, since the narrative is really really trying to push Amalas as the better option? (maybe not, but it’s fun to theorize).

• I don’t trust Amalas but they clearly gave her the nicer gift (at least, a nicer explanation for her gift). It’s a blossom “from the oldest apple tree in Monterisso, a tree that Cordonia helped my people plant long ago”. She hints at a closeness that the countries shared way back and offers the gift as a way of asking if that could happen again. The story kind of reminds me of the Regatta one Liam told us in Book 1, where Cordonia helped its neighbours at sea with supplies, during a time when they were ravaged by storms.

• Eirik gives you a bust of his own head, Lerato and Lesidi give you glass bottles and Marguerite gives us money, which puzzles the LIs. (though culturally I’ve been accustomed to cash being given as gifts or even in blessing, esp by elders, and I know at least one or two other cultures where cash can be the norm for gifts too). Kiara confiscated Olivia’s gift which she argues would help with self-defence 🤭 which happens to be one of my favourite moments in this chapter, and reminds me of this post an artist made of the MC’s baby shower long back. Idk why everyone sleeps on Kiara’s sheer entertainment value coz that girl possesses it in droves.

•

From our in-laws, we get a gift for the nursery - a cot mobile to place above the baby’s crib. These things are incredibly useful in the initial few months of a baby’s life when their visual development, eye-hand coordination and control over head and neck muscles are just about beginning. (and it’s cute and fun. What’s not to like). Unfortunately…unlike the nursery itself and the crib, you don’t get a free option for the cot mobile. You get a royal and rustic option + plus a neutral one with stars that I liked, but you have to pay even for that lovely neutral one. I’m guessing that the first two things from our nursery were “essentials” and whatever else we get now will be considered additional perks, thus paywalling even the options that don’t fit into your “royal or rustic” theme.

Each of the in-laws refer to a local/Cordonian craftswoman who made cot mobiles for the LIs. Leo gleefully tells us that Liam’s had “sparkles for days”, Bianca teasingly acts secretive about Drake’s. Hana never even knew she had a mobile coz she hasn’t seen a lot of baby photos of herself (I’m not sure what it’s meant to be an indication of yet, but I’m taking note of it). The one that really puzzles me is Maxwell’s. The writers don’t bother telling us what Maxwell’s is and instead make the bizarre choice to tell us what Bertrand’s cot mobile was instead. Why…the hell…would a Maxwell stan be interested in THAT. The writers don’t even specify if it was a hand-me-down (why was a family that rich and titled giving their younger one hand-me-downs) - nope, somehow it was a better choice to let us know that Bertrand’s was “silver grapefruit spoons”.

They should have done this for Drake also then, no? Talk about Savannah’s mobile instead of his? But noooo, Drake is too important, right. So let’s have his mother act all coy about his but make sure the sequence still centered around him.

At this point the writers should just nip this entire series in the bud if they’re not going even to bother writing equally good romances for all the LIs. One decently-done romance route doesn’t a good romance book make.

• In the middle of all this, the LI calls the MC into the hedge maze, presenting her with their own gift - a deep blue baby blanket with gold embroidery. How very Cordonia of them xD

• It’s a cute free LI moment where they show you how much they appreciate you, even in the midst of all this chaos and pandering of nosy royals.

• Once we’re back, it’s time to see if we passed our little diplomacy exam with these guys. Depending on the points you have with them, they will either back down convinced that even a normal alliance would work with Cordonia, or they will pressurize you further.

• Interestingly enough in the failplay, Amalas’ responses seem to imply that she would have more open to the idea of simply an alliance with the rulers sans marriage, but you can’t tell yet whether this is the writers trying to indicate to us that she is the choice, or whether she just isn’t being as ham-fisted as the Auvernese are. They lack subtlety, she’s more persuasive, but is she still someone you can trust? Since we’ve only seen her like twice before this sequence, I can’t quite tell yet.

• Kdjhshshsjssj @ Liam confiscating Maxwell’s armory access pass.

• The sales of “that book about us that has Maxwell’s face on it” are fantastic, and the publishers want Maxwell to do a book tour, the first signing of which is in Lythikos.

• We’re in Lythikos…for a book tour. Not even because Olivia found some information there or whatever (though I’m sure that will come up at some point next chapter), we’re there for a book tour that could have been done ANYWHERE.

• Places we could be having this book signing:

- Ramsford: Yknow, the author’s birthplace which we haven’t bothered visiting since our first Beaumont Bash in Book 1.

- Castelserraillian: Yknow, like the seat of art and culture and literature in Cordonia?? If there is one place in all of Cordonia I could easily picture as a literary hub it would be this one.

- No Valtoria coz we’ve seen plenty of it.

- Applewood: Yknow, that place that has many farmers, lots of commoners, who doubtless would have read this story of a commoner woman who climbed the ranks into royalty and glory. Applewood even has a public library that Queen Eleanor and her son regularly supported and visited. I’m sure many of the commoners in Applewood would have found that story even a little inspiring.

- Hana’s mysterious Cordonian homeplace: Just because the team is whack and we deserved better. They could have really made an effort to show her other home somewhere, yknow, considering they did such an awful job of Shanghai the last time.

• At this point we’ve seen Lythikos more than we have seen any other estate in this story. Sure, we can all spout out all sorts of excuses for why - plot, intrigue, Olivia’s character development (work on your own female LI first, PB!), but it all comes back to the same point: that the team is more willing to rob Hana of her rightful space and place it on Olivia’s lap. Setting this in Lythikos is re about the fact that, now that Drake has had more than his fair share of space, it’s Olivia’s turn to fulfill the role of secondary character but be treated like a main (all while Hana is thrown in as their token female LI + default POC LI, but treated with far less respect from her writers than even a secondary character).

• Overall, this is meant to be a light chapter - which most Chapter 16s (except for Book 2) are. Chapter 16 tends to be sandwiched between intense sequences, and is often seen as the point where the group and the LIs and MC can have fun but relax from court intrigue as well. It was the Beaumont Bash in Book 1, Vegas in Book 3, now a baby shower in TRH Book 1.

• Hana meeting her parents again (especially on her own playthrough), was nice, I guess. A little extra time is spent during the cot mobile scene having her parents acknowledge how they’d failed her, and the narrative shows us glimpses of her nervousness and discomfort while having the parents state that if she would rather they leave, they will respect that. It’s a tiny bit more progress compared to all the times Lorelai was continually repeating her mistakes and thinking they could be fixed each time with a paltry apology. But it’s still not enough.

• For one, we have just 4 chapters left in a book where half the time we were pandering to Drake’s family for chapters on end. We’re 16 chapters too late in addressing this. I have zero faith that things will improve.

For another, Hana getting this type of validation from her parents isn’t something that should be restricted to the playthrough where she is married alone. In both cases she invited them along, so in both cases they should be showing an equal level of caring and tentetiveness.

For a third, the whole angle with her parents seems to have such a disconnect. It’s almost like the writers were trying to prove something but didn’t do enough work to make it all sound coherent. Like you have this somewhat-healing relationship, but even then you have these moments that just don’t seem to make sense within Hana’s narrative, like Lorelai giving you that generic answer about your feelings suddenly becoming positive the moment they place the baby in your arms (which, btw, doesn’t always happen), or Xinghai talking about Hana’s ambition but there’s hardly any indication of how they controlled the directions her ambition would take. Overall they all sound like nice sequences by themselves but very disconnected to Hana’s actual story.

Why Hana hasn’t seen many baby pictures is something I want to see more of. I’m hoping that the fact that we see Lorelai, Xinghai and Leo in all the playthroughs, means they may accompany us on the book tour and perhaps we will get Hana-centric flashbacks and Liam-centric ones too.

• With next week, we’ll have only three chapters left, the intrigue is still in its nascent stages, the pacing is grossly uneven, and most of the LIs still don’t have a clear-cut arc. Some may claim that, well, it’s a series so maybe everyone else will get their “arc” in the next book. Except that if that were the case, Drake’s playthrough shouldn’t have been having the kind of focus on family that it’s been having this entire book. Others may claim that, well, it’s okay coz the story is about the baby and the romance - but they didn’t exactly do any justice to either of those. So what was this whole book about then? Besides Walker worship?

• The holiday special for TRR…is this going to be in Lythikos? Again??? Isn’t it bad enough that I will be going into TRM foolishly hoping to see Castelserraillian to get fair rep but know I’ll be confronted with with the reality of duchies like Lythikos getting a lion’s share of the story??

• That’s it for this chapter, guys. Until Saturday!

#long post #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #the royal heir #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #trr kiara #olivia nevrakis #drake walker

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jjkfire · 5 years ago

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Hi sweety! How are you doing? Sorry I’ve been so absent recently, but I’ve been thinking a lot about life, the things I wanna do. I even went to a 3-day immersion power course on how to live in high performance. A lot have happened around the house, some bad, but some very good! Since your last reply, I’ve been brewing thoughts in my mind about the photo blog I wanted to do and you inspired me so so much with your courage and passion that I finally made it! That’s why I named it pp-epiphany. +

Even if nobody sees it, I’m happy. There’re few posts, cause I made it very late at night, and still there’re no pics of Japan, buuut I posted some I took from my grandparents’ farm (I don’t know how to translate “chácara” properly) this weekend. Bit by bit, I’mma fill it with places I’ve been and homemade foods! I’m no professional photographer nor do I own a prof camera, so please don’t be harsh hahaha Now responding to the last reply! Thank you! So so so much! It means more than you think! ++

Esp when most 99% of the compliments I hear are filled with pretense, just to please and gain sth back). Even so, I won’t change my way; the goodness and sincerity in my heart will stay. Most ppl are not nice to me, and that’s the main reason I choose to spread love and happiness. We usually hear only bad things; I think that’s very wrong; we have to speak our minds and that includes positive things (but only when it’s due; never to please). I do hope ppl were more like this too; like you. +++

You have a good heart, you’re kind, strong and inspiring. We’re already changing the world; bit by bit, coloring it vibrant hues. Even if I weren’t interacting, I’ve been noticing you posting and replying a lot more. I’ll take that as a very good thing. I’m ecstatic your job and coworkers are this nice to you! Even your boss! You deserve it! Every time I hear about all the new and nice things that’s happening in your life, I get so excited! (and proud). ++++

Success isn’t mainly about money, is a whole lot of things. And to me, you’re very successful now and I just can hope it grows more and more! Love you to the moon and back! Have a great day and even more amazing week! 🥰😍😘💜🌕 PS just out of curiosity My top 5 fave fruits are 1. Banana 2. Mango 3. Cherry (only the sweet ones) 4. Apple 5. Watermelon - just basically fruits I can eat at room temperature (I really cannot eat cold foods; and may even say I dislike some)

/////

hello!!! sorry for the late reply ): like always hahaah. but wow 3-day course! i’m not sure if it’s the same but i’ve really been into self help books lately. they’re super fun! if you like that type of thing, i think smarter, better, faster by charles duhigg was a really good read and i loved outliers by malcolm gladwell. they’re really good books to start out with. really cool stories in the books that are just so crazy… the mind and the world is just so interesting.

sorry to hear that some not so good things have happened ): i hope everything’s alright!! and about your photo blog :D i checked it out! love the pictures and love your reblogs!!! made me feel so nostalgic that i logged into my old blog where i reblogged photography and other stuff. was nice to be back on there for a while haha now i wont check it for like another year again lol. but anyway i’m so glad you started that photo blog! that’s so exciting (: i hope you take more photos! and bro don’t worry about not having a pro camera or anything. photography is meant to be fun and as long as you have something that can take a pic, then it’s good enough. and apparently chácara is ranch haha but sounds like you had fun there! anyway can’t wait to see your japan photos and i hope you continue to take more photos, explore your city and etc. or just take photo of things that make you happy (:

truth be told i’ve had this photography instagram account idea for the longestttt time and i really hope i get around to actually posting on the account some day… one day haha.

ajsdhjsakhd you’re really the sweetest bean in this entire universe but you know what i think i’ve come to learn that a lot of the time, if you have the right mindset, life’s just a lot nicer that way. it’s just keeping that mindset strong and trying to see positives in every situation, beauty in all the small things. gratitude has been really life changing for me. just being thankful for small things really makes life nice. and big things too! like when you send such sweet messages to me (”:

i’m sorry that the people around you aren’t genuine ): that’s tough ): but i’m glad that you don’t let that bring you down! keep spreading kindness and love bb 💕 sending you all the love in the universe!!!

haha oh my god i really talk a lot on this blog. and you guys don’t even see half of it. i literally have 900 posts in my drafts and i mostly dump whatever’s in my brain and save it in my drafts lol. but aw thank you! yeah i’m having fun at my job and it’s a lot of work and there’s a lot to learn but i feel like im being challenged so i like that. but thanks for being so supportive ugh you’re literally the best. know that i’m rooting for you in the very same way!

it really means a lot for you to say that to me and yeah success to me is being happy! so if you’re happy, you’re winning at life. and i know money isn’t everything but i did my whole budget on an excel spreadsheet the other day and it was so gratifying hahahaha. it’s very nerdy but i love excel a lot.

that’s a neat list!!! i love cold watermelon and mango haahha but i get it cold food isn’t for everyone! god i love mangos and if there’s one thing i miss about the tropics, it’s the cheap tropical fruits 😍 nayway i hope you have a great week and an amazing month! i wish you nothing but absolute happiness (: i hope everything is going well for you bub. seeing you in my inbox just makes me smile x1000000!!!

#you are so kind and beautiful like i hope you dont let anyone dampen your spirit ever!!!#replies #pp-euphoria

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years ago

Photo

@nxbulaholic

I made this one as mostly a joke, but I might as well add a little bit more to her.

Oh, this is gonna be a… a fun one. Because everything is kind of clustered in a harder to individually comment way, I’m going to talk about my theme idea here… TR suggested that she should be a Johnny Appleseed type character, and I think that’s BRILLIANT. So that’s what she’s gonna be. This legendary troll roaming and generously providing apples to the good people.

I’m going to change her blood to lime for several reasons. Firstly, you say that nobody knows her blood color. Her operating under hemoanon makes a lot more sense if you make her a limeblood character. Secondly, green apples are pretty limey in color.

Thirdly, you’ve given her a frankly bizarre name (that I will be altering), which fits what Calliope said about limebloods tending to have odd names.

And fourthly, Limeade (Lime Maid) Pun.

Name: Appple Girlie

Pumila Aplcap

Pumila from Malus pumila, the scientific name for the apple tree. Aplcap is a reference to the name Appleseed as well as the tincap which Johnny Appleseed was noted to wear.

Species: Troll Gender: Female Age: 6 sweeps Derse or Prospit?: Prospit Strife Specibus: axekind

Batkind is my recommendation. First of all the real Johnny Appleseed, Johnny Chapman, died playing baseball with the Fort Wayne tincaps. Apple Pie and Baseball have also often been historically associated together as the All American Things. So I think it makes a fun joke to have her walk around with a bat.

Land: The Land of Gardens and Nice Smelling Candles (LoGaNSC)

How about the Land of Orchards and Cider (LoOaC)?

Many of the trees that Johnny Appleseed planted weren’t in fact of the edible apple variety and were instead used to make spiced ciders! The land could be full of empty orchards, all the water in the land turned to fermented cider, leaving the consorts in a drunk tizzy… She’s got to find a way to turn back the clock and create a new timeline where she’s tended the nurseries better, so she can spread the good fresh appley word!

Title: Maid of Juice (or Maid of Time to reference Minute Maid???)

I super do want her to be a Maid of Time because that Minute Maid pun is… my favorite.

Maids are the creators of time, actively. They are ones who mess around with the timeline in a pretty significant way. Aradia, for example, actively created various timelines and versions of herself across time by destroying the space they inhabited. Remember how she created so many doomed timelines and brought her robotic selves over to help the main timeline win? It was overall quite selfish, but it helped propagate the Main Timeline. Pumila would function much the same, though I imagine she’d primarily utilize her time power to make Infinite Apples.

Blood color: Gold (but she doesn’t know that, she thinks it’s apple juice)

Maybe now she can think it’s a green apple smoothie. 🤔

Symbol: Nobody knows (similar to Ardata or Marvus in mystery)

If we considered her Lime/Prospit/Time persuasion, it’d theoretically make her symbol

Canrist, The Vehement. Which is… an oddly fitting name for someone like her. I might play with this a little to see if I can get it to be pie-like.

Lusus: I don’t really know (can you please help me?)

Hmm. Since I’ve positioned her as a lime, it’s unlikely she’d be taken in by a traditional lusus. Maybe she got adopted by just like, a hive of bees? She doesn’t have one independent lusus she just has a Collective Of Bees Who Raised Her. I suggest this primarily because of the Honeycrisp apple and the fact that some vegans (who don’t understand apiculture) like to make beeless apple honey. I’ve got this working headcanon that mind honey makes your mind function at “maximum capacity,” for better or for worse. So she could put it in the stuff she bakes for Stat Boosts that can have unintended side effects.

Trolltag: crimsonOrchard

How about pomaceReprocessor?

Pomace is the remains from cider production, and nursery planters esp Johnny Chapman were noted to pick through pomace to regather apple seeds for planting!

Quirk: She speaks the tongue of apples, usually ending her sentences with an apple. 🍏

Can I suggest also changing S to 5 and T to 7? This is mostly because apples have approximatelyyy 57000 genes, which is a pretty significantly large amount! It’s a cool apple fact she can communicate with every message! Personality: Appple Girlie is an optimistic fellow for she enjoys giving out apples to every troll she meets, but would be devastated if they would toss them away or what not, she’s absolutely obsessed with her sweet red fruit and would fight somebody to the death if one were to take one without asking, don’t worry she doesn’t have the cliche ‘evil side uwu’! It’s just what her lusus (again, I don’t know what to put for her lusus) taught her.

Okay, how’s this… Her “lusii,” for lack of a better word, taught her to appreciate the fruit that the land bears, but she just REALLY fell in love with apples. And we know that Alternia’s pretty harsh, and maybe she hates pre-packaged food and wants to get back to FRESH, so she decides to start travelling the land along with her bee family and planting nurseries full of apple trees in various lowblood areas, to help them be able to sustainably provide for themselves! She sticks around long enough for her bee hive to help pollinate the various kinds of apple trees she plants, then continues on to keep spreadin’ the good appley word.

And, of course, she’ll get pretty upset if people mess up her apple orchards, because she’s trying to do a good thing! So if people go trampling her saplings, she might get a little bat-swingy. More than a little bat-swingy. It’s fine.

Since she’s a time player, she should be interested in adaptive rebellion. She’s not outright trying to uproot the system, oh no, but she’s probably trying to flex within it and help lowbloods get a little bit of their own time back. They all spend so much time doing things for others and not for themselves, taking a little bit of the labor load off their back just seems like the best deed to her. Likes: Apples, apple juice, apple pie, apple everything, looking up at the night sky, more apples

Hell Yeah Apples. You definitely have gotta make her interested in growing apples right, so a little bit of highly specific farming knowledge. Make her have an interest in pomology! Definitely give her some interest in self-reliance and nomad living, too.

And, because she’s got a whole box full of beefamily to take care of, maybe apiculture is good for her, too. She’s gotta know how to beekeep with the best of them! Maybe that’s even how she has a computer! She rolls her apiculture network along with her as she travels. It’s a little more power than she Really needs, but it’s also the most reliable system she knows.

Baking and distilling’s probably two good interests for her to have as well.

Dislikes: Bananas, trolls who take her apples without asking, people who’re rude, bright lights

Does she hate bananas because they’re an unsustainable monoculture that disrespect the practice of good old fashion farming with all that cloning crap? Because if that’s not why I think it should be. Voice Headcanon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OW8eNWPFho

I have a counterpoint for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LKPupuh4cQ

Applejack’s voice, b…because apples. Quadrants: (Don’t really have much to put here since she’s a joke character) <3 - <> - o8< - <3< -

Wh…what if she was in a blackrom with a banana themed troll?

Design:

Horns: I decided to try to make them form a sort of apple shape! Curving down and with the stem sticking up.

Hat: I made her a nice tincap, edited from Squarewave’s hat.

Hair: Just a few more little flips.

Face: Okay I dunno why you did that to her skin, but I changed it back. She’s not old enough to have the darker troll skin like some people headcanon the ancestors have. I also edited her eyeshines to white. I edited the glasses to lime to reflect her blood color and edited them into apple shapes!

Shirt/symbol: I changed it to black just to provide more color contrast, and also to give the eyes a break from the vibrancy y’know. I also edited the Canrist symbol! I flipped it vertical and made it look like a pie!

Overalls: I wanted to give her a bit more of a traveler look, look a bit like Johnny Appleseed’s iconic overalls. I made the underneath of the skirt into candy apple red! It looks a bit like pie filling and I love it.

Shoes: I changed the colors here to lime and candy apple red. It’s fun to have her hemoanon when she’s wearing lime and red. It must seem like she’s either a really incompetent lime or a highblood with an interesting idea of aesthetics.

This was a fun character to review! Thank you for sharing.

-CD

#nxbulaholic #appple girlie #pumila aplcap #appple #girlie #pumila #aplcap #limeblood #review #redesign #cd review #submission

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prsfood · 6 years ago

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PARIS HABITS

carry around bottled of diluted juice, choose a strongly flavored one OR water with 0% syrup off brand U (about 6 for a lot of syrup).

unsuspicious:

Broth-based soups (chicken/veggie/beef broth, not cream) and plain popcorn come to mind...shrimp is also very low cal and high protein.

What really confuses my family is when i take out my ice cream sandwich. Little do they know, its a klondike 100 calorie light bar, but it looks like a regular ice cream bar so it doesn't raise suspicion.

cooked veggies with shrimp

Thing I always do is an eggwhite omelette with celery and tuna. My fam says its gross cuz of the two mixed but you only need like 3 eggwhites, maybe a half can of tuna and a bit of chopped up celery. Makes a lot for low cal!

I always go for like 5 saltine crackers and a laughing cow cheese wedge

I got kelp noodles recently - the entire bag is 18 calories. They're clear and can be served cold or hot. Mostly good for Asian foods and salads.

I make egg and cheese wraps for dinner..the whole thing comes to around 200 cals as a meal...1 tortilla, 1 small egg and like, a slice of low fat cheese...it also makes me feel full which is good, esp. when paired with coffee

shrimp. Went out to all you can eat crabs with my friends tonight (ugh, shoot me). While they were pigging out on 5000+ cals of crabs, I was just peelin' my shrimp super slow and eating about 100 cals of shrimp, which took forever and made me look sups normal. Even the cocktail sauce doesn't have that many cals and it is delish

at school for lunch I have a half of a pb sandwich. it's 40 cal bread with pb2 (around 30 cal because I don't use the whole 2 tbsp) so that equals 70 cal. I have it with some fruit (50 cal) and cucumber or celery (0 cal)

My caramel frozen yogurt bars are only 100 calories and are a great dessert, especially around people.

My suggestions are:

Try having silken tofu instead of hard tofu because people don't tend to differentiate between different varieties of the same foods even though they can have substantially different caloires. I don't know where you live but here in Australia the Macro silken tofu is only 50 calories for 100g while hard tofu is over 100 calories or more for the same amount.

Home made ice blocks/popsicles with diet drinks and fruit (I mentioned this recently on a different forum, I'm not steal, promise!!!)

Instead of steaming veggies roast them - ie 'carrot fries', because they have that association with fries even though they are low cal

It's already been said by rice cakes (You can find 10cm diameter ones for 23 calories) and you can top them up with salads and hummus etc.

Low calorie smoothies ie. Made with just frozen fruit, ice and water

1 cup silk unsweetened almond milk with sweetener and fiber one 80 cal cereal. 110 cal.

two slices 45 or 40 cal bread with Turkey breast, tomato, kraft fat free mayo. 150-160 cal.

two slices 45 or 40 cal bread with two tbsp pb2 & 1 tbsp smuckers sugar free jelly. 135-145 cal.

Pickles are a great go-to zero calorie food when I crave something salty. That or 100 calorie microwave popcorn. If you make it in an air popper, though, and only spray a little I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on it then its even less (depending on serving size of course). You can add a little salt too, or No-Salt (Potassium Chloride) if you're watching sodium its a great alternative.

Also love the zero sugar/zero calorie energy drinks from Monster or Rockstar. Gets me through the day if my energy wanes. The V8 flavored green tea energy drinks are good too and 50 calories if you only need a little boost.

Jennie-O makes a ground turkey that is like 97% fat free. Less calories and fat than ground beef but still high in protein.

Turkey bacon is like 25 calories per slice that you can pair with egg whites (also about 25 calories per serving).

Hebrew National makes a hot dog that is like 98% fat free and only 45 calories each (versus like 200 for regular hot dogs dripping in saturated fat.. blegh).

And finally, one of my favorite desserts when I need something sweet is fresh strawberries sprinkled with Truvia (zero calorie sweetener) and it is delish!

i go to subway and get a 6 inch veggie delight with all veggies, no cheese and yellow mustard

it's 230 calories but it's really filling and normal looking lol

Bare naked noodles? 16 cals a pack but I can get 2/3 sevings from it with raw shaved courgettes <3 and a stock cube about 30 cals altogether!

shredded crab sticks kani kama like pasta its like: 40 cals crab+20cals lettuce= 60 cals of a full plate

I love low cal bread (35 cal per slice!) with apple butter on top. (30 cal for 2 TBSP). I usually like to eat all of my food in one meal so I like to side it with either no fat plain Greek yogurt (tastes like heaven if you add sweetener and cinnamon) or plain oatmeal with, again, sweetener and cinnamon.

salads, for obvious reasons! lots of veggies

wraps. get a good brand of low cal tortillas, and maybe a spread you like (salsa has always been my favorite)

rice (mix it with lots of veggies for a stir fry)

Salad wraps. What's great about tortillas and pitas, is no one can really see what you've stuffed in there. So use it like a hidey-hole and just fill with vegetables.

I do meat and veggie dishes that are mostly veggies. Like string bean chicken and beef with broccoli. It sounds like a "real" meal but I mostly only serve myself the vegetable part!

Make a huge Asian like bean sprout "stir fry" (I just cook it with water) and season it up as you want, you can add a few shrimp and they're only 7 cals each

Sauerkraut! You can eat a ton and it's super low cal

A big salad with a fewwww grilled chicken strips

If you don't fear carbs, there's a few breads that are 45 cals a slice, you could make a veggie sandwich with a couple of slices and it'd only be a lil over 100 cals

Tuna salad. More veggies than tuna, skip the mayo. Even saltines are not terribly high cal.

Believe it or not, a baked potato. This is one of my fav dinners: a large baked potato with salsa and guacamole and a big salad. Most people (no doubt your mum as well) know to look past salad because it has next to no calories, even by the bucketful.

But potatoes are considered indulgent foods. Turns out tho, it is all the crap people put on them (sour cream, bacon bits, CHILI for gods sake!) or cook them in (think french fries or crisps) that is bad. You can top a potato with salsa (lots) and guac (a little but positioned to look as big as possible) and, when paired with a salad, looks like a giant plate of food. If you start to feel like you are over-ful (a real possibility with this meal) you can skip eating the potato skin, which most people leave off anyways so it won't look suspicious.

Aubergine or courgette boats! Stuff with mushrooms/spinach/chickpeas/Quorn mince or whatever, top with some bread crumbs and/or cheese.

This is the best thing for anyone!

400g cauliflower with some water in a blender - blend till Mashed potato consistency, it makes soooo much! About half a large plate piled! And only 100 calories, then you can add whatever you like since you have so many cals left over. And simply adding rosemary and pepper is delicious!

If you want it to look more like a dinner meal add something like

Chicken thigh - 200

Salmon - 255

Hoki Fish - 175

Stuffed mushrooms

4 medium size or 2 HUGE portobello mushrooms (would be in the 250-300g region, so 30-40 cals)

Bake in the oven for 15 mins.

Top with 1/2 can of lentils (113) mixed with 3 laughing cow triangles (105 or 75 if using the light version) (you could also use another soft cheese). Add in herbs and spices (garlic is great with this) and bake for another 10-15 mins. You could even add a bit of proper grated cheddar or mozzarella as well to make it seem even more high calorie. Wouldn't be more than 300 even with the addition of full-fat cheese.

Grated cauliflower looks like rice with a lot less cals.

Soups with a ton of broth.

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nebbychan · 7 years ago

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Donk and Sparrow - Halloween

Crisp and brittle leaves of all colors; scarlet, bronze, and gold all breaking off from their homes among the branches to gracefully cascade, floating along the breeze and landing on the pavement. The chill made it clear that winter was on its way, and any self-respecting Dallington resident would know that it was time to wrap their bodies in a multitude of neutral fabrics. Fall was a special time in Dallington, it signaled the end of barbecues, poolside parties, and humidity of the summer heat and announced the return of the infamous pumpkin spice lattes, succulent vegetables and fruits ripe for harvesting as citizens of all ages would charge to the nearest pumpkin patch or apple orchard to pick only the fattest and juiciest. But fall also served as a warning of the hard winter that was yet to come, temperatures were dropping faster than that of a piano at high altitude, and elderly residents would soon be packing and catching flights in Buffalo or driving to the nearest warmer states.

The worst of it all was the Christmas season.

Nebby had to relive those horrors year after year once she’d become working age, and make no mistake, the first Black Friday always left mental scars in a retail associate’s brain. She had no doubt that Tim becoming a sales floor associate at the old Sears in Pine Woods Mall will be one hell of a shocker for him. She didn’t do it in front of him, but behind the scenes she’d be crossing herself repeatedly and uttering, “En el hombre Del Padre, y Del Hijo, y Del Espíritu Santo. Amen.” Thankfully, Canny Tim had yet to fully grasp Spanish, though that doesn’t mean he didn’t know what “puta” or “cabrón” meant.

And what also served as a saving grace was the holiday that came before Christmas; Halloween.

Halloween was always a popular holiday in the states, especially in Dallington. Once a year, a massive festival would be held, honoring the town’s founding. Meanwhile, the town’s club owner and DJ, Salem had decided to pack up and go off to the mountains for the weekend. It was a strange tradition of hers; she’d pack the RV with all the essentials, and drive deep into the woods only to emerge on November 1st. No one knew why she did it, but when approached she’d instantly snap, “I just need some time to myself, okay?” Nope, definitely not suspicious at all, nope!

Of course, some punk kid would start a rumor that Salem was a serial killer or a narcotics addict, neither of which held enough evidence to prove either theories plus the addition of Nebby’s frightful gaze said otherwise. Nebby herself believed she was just writing new songs or trying to enjoy nature, she’d always remembered Salem as an avid hiker and birdwatcher. Lame activities, but someone has to have a believable hobby, right? Ann had her baking, and Nebby had her trips to the gym.

Nebby stopped by Salem’s small bungalow with croissants and parfaits, “Hey! Going on that yearly trip again?” she greeted. Salem had hoisted the last bag into her RV just as she’d approached her driveway, she smiled, “Yeah, oh hey, are those for me?” “Well who else in this town eats parfaits with pomegranates, dark chocolate mousse, and gluten-free vegan yogurt?” Nebby placed a hand on her hip and flashed a roguish grin. “Don’t you diss the good name of Velvet yogurt, its good shit and you know it.” Salem laughed as she accepted the care package, “So I hear this is gonna be Tim’s first Halloween, it kinda sucks I won’t be here to see it.” “Yeah well, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do anything with him; fucker’s still shaken up after watching IT last night.” Nebby folded her arms and scoffed, “Lost his shit at the sewer drain scene and wouldn’t keep his hands off his face to watch the rest.” “R.I.P Georgie.” Salem shook her head, “You know Tim’s a medieval solider, right? His time was really fucked up you know, and I don’t think introducing him to horror movies was a good idea, you might trigger something.” “He watched the entirety of the Exorcist without blinking an eye, matter of fact…other horror movies are just fine with him- well, except the time he got super nauseated after watching the Saw movies.” Nebby scratches her head.

“You think he might have coulrophobia?” “Canny Tim, afraid of clowns…? I’ve heard of his discomfort towards mirrors, but not clowns.” “Well, it’s a possibility. You said he couldn’t watch IT without covering his eyes.” “In his defense, I probably should’ve warned him there was gonna be a lot of child death in this…” “Well if he does, then you guys might want to be careful.” “And why do you say that?” “Well, I guess there are clowns popping up all over the country again.” “Really, are you serious? This shit again? Welp, welcome to Clownpocalyse, mother fuckers, buckle up!” “Yeah, I’d recommend carrying bear mace or something.” “I’ll add that to my grocery list.”

Salem snorted, “Anyway, I should probably start heading out before traffic starts congesting like flu season. You got your meds, right?” “Like I want to spend this year’s Halloween stuck in bed.” Nebby rolled her eyes, “you have a safe trip, okay?” “You better have some tamale ready for me when I get back.” Salem stuck her tongue out at Nebby, earning a playful expression in return. She waved goodbye as her friend pulled out and drove off. Putting her hands into her pockets, she sighed and began the walk home.

“Me? Going on a hunting trip with you! Oh no, fuck no, last time I went you nearly took an eye out!” Orion angrily pointed to his left eye. Kardok frowned and punched his shoulder, “’at was ower 700 years ago, wimp, gle ower it.” “I know you’re just going to leave me in the woods or use me as target practice.” The clone glared daggers at the centaur, folding his arms and tapping his non-bandaged foot. “Ah won’t, Ollie said Ah cooldn’t anyway.” Kardok groaned, “an’ besides, dae ye pure want tae bide haur an’ deal wit’ Zarok instead ay shootin’ deer an’ elk?” He did drive a good point, whichever minion that stayed behind had to give him a bubble bath. And bubble baths were the worst, last person to go was Oliver, and he was later found in his room rocking himself by a corner. Orion cringed, “Okay, I guess you’re right.” “’En gle packin’, yoo’re burnin’ daylecht haur.” Kardok shoved him towards the stairs, Orion stumbled and grumbled to himself as he regained balance and began walking up towards his room to pack. Oliver entered the foyer with suitcases in hand, “I’m so excit’d! A whole weekend trippeth all to ourselves!” he smiled, “and twas awfully kind of Zeal to lend us the RV, I wast almost worried we’d has’t to travel by foot!” “Aye, its bin tay lang since I’ve shot myself a braw stag ur tois.” Kardok agreed, stretching out his arms. He took the bags from Oliver and brought them outside to the RV. “Come your ways, doest that gent coequal knoweth we’re going on this trippeth?” Oliver inquired, slightly anxious.

“Ye pure techt Zarok…? Nope, has nae scooby whit we’re daein’.” “I see, then we’d best beest off ere that gent notices.” “Exactly wa Ah tauld Orion tae coorie th’ heel up…!” “Right, oh and ere we wend, may we cease at Lady Donk’s house?” “Wa dae ye want tae gang thaur?” “Just to inquire on which places maketh the best camping ground, we can’t just wend anywhere in the woods.” “Braw, an’ mebbe while we’re thaur she can hook us up wit’ some ay ‘er scran.”

Oliver grinned and once Orion finally pulled through with his luggage- even though he wound up falling down the stairs due to the weight, they headed out. Of course, there was the quick stop at Nebby’s house. Kardok stopped the RV and hopped out with the others, knocking on her front door. Lately he’d noticed the unusual change in setting, not just in this house but all over town; carved pumpkins scattered everywhere, cheap cloth with faces crudely drawn onto them, fake displays of witches and cobwebs. He’d once almost jumped at the sight of the giant spider resting on Ann’s rooftop! None of it was real, of course, but still, quite the scare! Apparently, this was for “Halloween”. Kardok had never heard of it, nor was he interested in knowing what it was about.

What also annoyed him were the inconsistent puns. Oh, the puns.

“Spooky Savings”

“Boo-ze for you”

“Three fears for discounts”

“Witches Crew”

God, if he had to endure one more pun, so help him he will go on a rampage. And wrestling with an enraged centaur was not easy. Just then, the front door opened, and standing there with a cup of tea in hand and glowering at him was Tim. He hissed, “What do you want, Bhaltair?” “Is Nebby haem?” He frowned.

“I’m afraid not, she’s gone to see Ms. Hallows at the moment.” He shook his head, “Now, please leave.” He was about to shut the door when Kardok blocked him with one of his hooves. Tim was getting frustrated, “I already told you, she’s not home, leave or I’m calling the authorities!” “Ah still need somethin’ ye ken.” Kardok said firmly, “I’m gonnae oan a huntin’ trip for th’ weekend an’ Ah need scran. Ye ken hoo te cuik sae gie tae it!” “Why you…! Well, first of all-!” But Tim stopped to think for a moment, a whole weekend without Kardok around? That means 48 hours of no hooves clattering against the pavement, no heavy breathing over his shoulder, and no threat of his magic arrows! This was perfect! And all he’d have to do was cook for him? Seems like a fair trade to him! “…fine, make yourselves at home, I’ll whip something up for you.” He sighed, slowly opening the door for him. Kardok grinned, but before entering smacked the mug out of Tim’s hand, causing the porcelain to shatter and its contents to get all over the wood flooring. Tim opened his mouth to say something, but just shook his head instead and slinked off to the kitchen.

Once he’d finished, he exited carrying with him several containers and pots all stacked together. “Alright, I’ve prepared enough food to last you the weekend, please return the containers and pots when you return, Ms. Nebula will not be happy to find that her cookware has gone missing.” Tim informed, carefully lending it to Oliver. And speak of the devil…

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Nebby growled.

Kardok replied, “Huntin’ trip.” “Oh. You’re going too? Well if you see Salem tell her I said hey.” She brightened up, only to immediately darken, “Next time though, wait for me to get home before you decide to invite yourself in, and for fuck’s sake, quit breaking my shit!” “Duly noted, terribly my most humble apology by the by, we’re in a drive and this trippeth wast last minute.” Oliver nodded. “Its fine, you guys go on ahead.” Nebby shooed them away. Orion stayed behind, “Hey, before I go, do you have like, a bunch of scary stories I could use? I want to try and fuck with Kardok on this trip.” “Do I look like a fucking library to you? Talk to Winston, he should hook you up.” Nebby then shoved him out. She then glanced at Tim, “What’d you make?” “Oh, not much, just some honey cakes and chicken soup.” He laughed, “But I’m glad to see you back home.”

A grin crept up on Nebby’s face, “Awesome, I’m gonna head to the store to pick up some candy for the trick-or-treaters, you wanna come? There’s a chocolate in it for you.” She offered in a sing-song voice. “Make it two cases of sugar frosted cookies and I’ll grab my coat.” Tim smirked. “You fucking pig, get upstairs.” She snorted. “You created a monster Ms. Nebula!” Tim joked. “Fuck you!” she called back as he marched up the stairs.

Tim entered his room, it’d gotten better since he’d moved in; he had some posters hung up on the wall along with the many flowers Winston would gift to him on a regular basis. It’d gotten to a point where he had hung some of them onto the ceiling; it was neat save for a few fallen petals on the carpet. He opened the sliding door to the closet, inside was as equally organized. He had coats hung based off color coordination, size, and style, shirts and pants folded neatly inside drawers, plus he had a shoe rack to better arrange his shoes, ranging from sneakers to dress shoes. Other items were found such as a laundry basket and a backpack. He took a step back to think which he’d like to take, only to settle for a dark red coat with black buttons. After slipping it on, he practically flew down the stairs and outside, grabbing a lanyard and turning the porch light on as he exited.

The lanyard wasn’t anything special as it held a cardholder which kept his license and a copy of the house key. Latching the front door shut, he entered the passenger side of Nebby’s car. She smiled, “Took you long enough.”

As they drove towards the direction of the supermarket, Tim looked out into the window. “Ms. Nebula,” He started, “Tell me more about Halloween.” “Sure, you want the short version or the long version? The long version also includes some of Dallington’s history.” She offered. “The long version, please, I want to know everything.” He answered.

“For starters, Halloween wasn’t always called that,” she began, “It has its roots in age-old European traditions, it started with the Celtics, and they called it Samhain, it was a festival consisting of bonfires and people wearing costumes and carving into vegetables to ward off ghosts. They believed that on that night, the boundary between the realms of the living and dead became blurred. So to any evil spirits, it was like a possession buffet for them.” Nebby continued, “But uh, nowadays people dress up for the fun of it…spirit of the season and all that. Anyway, Halloween didn’t come to America until the colonial times, but it wasn’t celebrated as frequently, but when it was, colonizers gathered to exchange ghost stories and start fucking shit up. At that time, they called it, All Hallows Eve. The holiday didn’t pick back up until the early 20th century during the Second World War, when kids started begging for food, marking the staple of Halloween, trick or treating. And Jack-O-Lanterns didn’t pick up until the immigration wave, thanks to the Irish.”

“But what does your town have to do with it?”

“Glad you asked, to give a better understanding, Dallington was founded by Quakers back on October 31st in 1643, before the Salem Witch Trials in Massachusetts. Before then, it was at first a clan of Irish, Spanish, and French immigrants, along with Native Americans and freed or escaped slaves.” She explained, “They were a small community at first, looking to help each other out and find true peace in the New World. The population was small; I’d say around 150 people- farmers and merchants before the trials. By that time, those who had managed to flee upon accusation came here to hide and later start anew. When the trials were over, on Halloween of 1693, the citizens had gathered outside Salem’s cemetery to mourn and give their respects to those who had lost their lives. Then a year later, a massive feast was held to honor them and those who had passed in their town or in the immigrant’s home countries, some female residents dressing as witches and male residents as demons…basically a middle finger to the Puritan assholes and to the bitchy group of teen girls that started the hysteria.”

“All in all, Halloween was the staple of Dallington’s history, serving as a break from the hardworking conformity.” She smiled, “Although, this is just barely scratching the surface. There’s a lot more to this town than a discount Dia de Los Muertos celebration to piss off religious conservatives.”

He blinked, “I had no idea Dallington had such a connection.” “Well, they did.” She chuckled, “Though, no town goes without its enemies. After that little stunt, in January 4th, 1694, nearby Puritan settlements launched an attack on Dallington. There weren’t any casualties, but they did try to burn down the library, which they hated the most, by the way. Yeah, they didn’t get along, like, at all. Hell, at the end of that month, they tried bringing the Witch Trials back, though it was unsuccessful.” “And why was that?” He wondered. “Easy, because all their women freaked out and moved to Dallington; and without women they couldn’t populate, so the remaining settlers basically died off, probably of dysentery or something to warrant the Darwin Award…” She answered, gripping onto the steering wheel, “Good on them, I hate Puritans.” Tim laughed, “Even if they’re not around anymore?” “Oh no, they’re still here, they’re just not called that anymore.” She shook her head.

They arrived at a nearby Halmart a while later, and after going inside, Nebby grabbed for a shopping cart and darted straight for the seasonal section. Being this was Dallington, their seasonal section was massive, as it took up nearly half of the gardening section! Stocked were bags of mixed candies, trick-or-treating pails, boxes stuffed with inflatable or cluttered decorations, and of course, costumes! Seeing as lately her hands had been tied with practically babysitting Tim, putting up with likes of Zarok, her store, and occasional trips to the gym, Nebby had little time to decide on a costume. But she decided, hey, while she was there, why not pick something out? And maybe she could include Tim in this if he wanted to. Walking through the candy aisle, she extended her arm so her hand would be knocking over all the bags, and when she began to power walk past, bags filled with candy began falling off the shelves and into her shopping basket. When she was sure her basket was filled completely, she turned towards the costumes. Tim kept close to her as they walked, completely perplexed by what she’d done.

“Hey Timmy, look at this costume!” Nebby pulled out a costume from the rack, it was contained in a bag, but the front had a picture of a person dressed in a blue tunic with white trousers and boots, and holding in his hand was a sword and a shield. It said “Breath of the Wild”, though in all honesty, everyone knew who this was. She grinned, “Do you want to dress up for Halloween? It’s not too late to get a costume!” “Isn’t dressing up a children’s activity?” he asked. “You’re never too old to dress up! I don’t understand where the fuck these bullshit adult expectations came from, just because I’m 30 doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy anything!” She retorted, “C’mon, at least try to have fun.” Tim sighed and took the bag from her, “Fine, I’ll give it a try.” “Yes!” She fist pumped in victory. As Nebby left the aisle, and Tim hadn’t noticed this before, he noticed a figure standing across from a display of inflatable ghosts, he’d only managed to catch a glimpse of a red nose and confetti-like clothing, the wide grin and light waving made Tim’s stomach flip. He was about to take a step forward to investigate when he heard her calling, “Hey Tim, are you coming? I need to pick up some bear mace.”

“O-Oh, yes, I am! Coming, Ms. Nebula!” He then exited the aisle, before he did, however, he looked back to find the figure gone. Must’ve been his imagination…or perhaps it wasn’t.

Orion stretched his arms as he’d finally finished setting up the grill Zeal had lent to them, “Thought I’d never get it done…” He’d been left alone to prepare the grill while Kardok and Oliver hunt for deer, which wasn’t at all what he’d hoped for when he’d said he’d like to go on this trip. Then again, it was either this or scrubbing Zarok’s back. And on the plus side, it was relatively tranquil in the woods; he’d almost missed the smell of pine cones and that sweet fresh air that filled his lungs. Maybe it wasn’t what he’d hoped for, but it was still nice to have proper time to relax for once in a millennia. When he’d thought about it, all he remembered was nothing but stuffy rooms and endless clashing against swords. He’d obtained many scars and bruises in his life, most come from either Kardok or Zarok himself. But just one, just for one moment, he could have a moment to rest. The first day had gone off without a hitch, though not much happened. They simply scouted the area with the little daylight they had left, finding the best common ground for deer and whatnot, Kardok had already marked which areas he’d like to visit on his map! Afterwards, they sat outside the RV and eagerly wolfed down the chicken soup Canny Tim had provided for them, and then turned in for the night. Today was more about him setting up the grill and waiting for his comrades to return from hunting, they returned earlier for lunch, and though he wasn’t a cook, he’d managed to throw some meat in between two slices of bread and call it a meal, even if it displeased the centaur. It took an entire loaf, a whole bag of cool ranch Doritos, and a jug of iced tea to get him back on the field, and it was understandable, with an anatomy as complicated as Kardok’s it’d demand the twice amount of nourishment! That’s why they packed extras.

He then turned his head in the direction of leaves rustling; thinking Kardok or Oliver had finally returned Orion opened his mouth to greet them, only for it to be someone else.

He’d seen her before on occasion, particularly when Oliver came to the club for an interview. Her ombre hair hidden in an odd looking hood; tan leather- at least he thought it was leather, adorned with horns, fur, and animal bones. Orion blinked, “Uh…hey Salem, what brings you to the campground?” “Nothin’, Nebby texted me and told me you and the guys are here to do some redneck shit.” She joked. “Redneck…?” Orion repeated. “You know, hunt and get stupidly drunk. I’ve seen it before; my Dad and Uncle Mason did it when they were young.” She laughed. “Are they here with you?” He queried, but Salem shook her head, “Nah, Uncle Mason’s six feet under and my Dad is with my Mom back in Oklahoma.” Oh, so her uncle was-?

“Sorry to hear that.” He said softly. “Its fine, he’s actually buried near my campsite, I come up here every year to pay respects. And my camp is not that far from yours, it’s about half a mile up north.” She smiles, “If you guys want to drop by and have a beer later, I’m open for it.” “That’d be great, but just a fair warning, Kardok can be an ass sometimes.” He laughed.

“He’s part horse, though it’d make more sense if it were half donkey.” “Good one! So, any reason for the weird poncho you got there?” “This…? This belonged to my Uncle Mason; I wear it whenever I come to visit him.” “You two seemed pretty close.” “Are you kidding? He was my best friend before I met Nebby and Ann! Don’t tell them I said that.” “I’ll try not to squeal,” He smirked, “But hey, before you go, do you have any scary stories?” “Why do you want to know? Are you planning on scaring Oliver?”

“More like Kardok and getting back at him for all the bullshit I endured,” He huffed, “I mean, I get it, I looked like some arrow fodder and bear half of his DNA, but the other half isn’t him!” “Let me guess, he doesn’t accept that you’re not who he wants you to be?” She sighed, “Yeah, I get it. And as a matter of fact, I do have a story for you.” She pulls up a chair and seats herself next to the fire pit.

“Alright Orion, you ever heard of the Wendigo?”

The sun had already set by the time Kardok returned, a fat and limp deer resting on horseback, a huge grin on his face. Oliver applauded, “Thee didst such a wonderful job! That deer nev'r saw it coming!” but his face then fell somber, “twas a shame we only managed to shoot one, doth thee bethink we've gone rusty?” But the centaur shook his head, “It ay practices mebbe, but definitely nae terrible.” They stopped in front of the campground, where Orion was found sitting alone by the RV. Kardok opened his mouth to ask, but was immediately stopped by the clone’s sudden remark, “Yes, the grill is ready, do what you need to do so we can eat already. I’m worn out so I can’t help, if I move another muscle I’d just fall apart!” Kardok huffed, seating himself by the fire pit and drawing out his knife to skin the deer and take its meat. Oliver stood by to take the undesirable parts and toss them aside, while also trying not to gag at the stench. Once Kardok had finished carving juicy pieces of meat, he got up to marinade them and put them in the grill.

As he did so, Oliver smiled, “Lest I so my most humble apology thee couldn't cometh, but, I trust that thee enjoyed the silence?” “I did, best three hours I’ve had in my entire existence.” He smiled back as he kicked back in his chair. But Oliver didn’t like that response, just as he was about to retort, Orion spoke up, “Seeing that it’s nighttime and we have a fire going, why don’t we exchange scary stories while we wait for the meat to cook?”

Kardok huffed, “Och yeah, there's th' Fortesque half ay heem...”

Orion rolled his eyes, “It’s a good one, I promise, and it does not involve a self-insert.” Though skeptical, the centaur seated himself back by the fire pit, mildly intrigued by that last detail. Oliver himself sat close by with as much interest. Orion grinned and rested his elbows on his legs when he crossed them, “Salem told me this story, she dropped by earlier to say hi and decided to tell me this frightening tale.”

“They say, that in these woods- for centuries even, has been inhabited by a petrifying, gruesome creature known only as the Wendigo.” He began, “She tells me that Wendigo had lived in Dallington even before the settlers arrived and started building their colony. Though, there is a way to become one of them. This spot where we reside in as of now; was once the sight of an atrocity, the worst that this town has ever seen!” Now color Kardok intrigued! “Gang oan 'en, aam listenin'!” Orion nodded and proceeded with the story, “It was back in December of 1643, the year they had settled, while most settlers stayed within its borders two families didn’t. They were simple farmers, living a mundane and monotonous routine, at least up until the winter came. It had crept up on them so quickly, that before they could expect it, their crops had nearly wasted and shriveled up. Fearful that they would starve, the husband sent his wife, infant daughter, and young sons to live with a friend in town while he, his older sons, and the neighbor and his sons stayed behind to try and salvage for any good crop that may have survived. Alas, it didn’t. By the time they decided to join the others in town it’d had all been too late, the roads had become too treacherous and it wasn’t long until they forced into the farmer’s cottage.”

“Little by little, day by day, their supplies slowly dwindled. The farmer grew more distressed as each minute that passed was another minute without food. The nights were long; the husband began to hear tapping noises, which he had at first ignored. But when food became scarce, the tapping only worsened, growing louder each night until all he could hear in his head was the tapping and the painful growls of his stomach, begging and pleading with him for nourishment,” He continued, “The farmer knew that he and the others would not live to see the first spring if they didn’t eat. On the 50th day, the farmer had a new craving, the last of their food had gone, and now, they had nothing. But he was determined to provide, but to do so have to come at a heavy price. He’d eyed his current occupants, deciding that the fattest would have to go. That night, he ventured outdoors to retrieve an axe, and then crept back inside to his second oldest room. That morning, they had food. The neighbor counted heads and asked where the second eldest went, as usually he’d be down here shoving everything down his gluttonous gullet, but no answer came from the farmer, who was busy gorging himself.”

Kardok could only cringe, he knew exactly what was going on, and dare he think a man could do such a thing to his own flesh and blood. But Orion continued much to his dismay, “But as quickly as it came, it’d gone. And so the oldest of the neighboring family was paid a visit, that morning they had meat again, but the neighbor and his sons refused to eat, they’d become afraid of the farmer. The neighbor had noticed a change in the farmer’s appearance; he’d be seen drooling frequently, he’d lick his lips whenever he stared him and his sons down. They’d tried to leave, but the threatening snow storms threatened to gobble them up, and would shove them back inside, back into the awaiting hunger of the farmer. Eventually, the snow had consumed the cottage entirely, and they knew that they would not live to see the spring. At night, the husband was spotted mumbling to himself; his skin became increasingly paler by each passing day and his hair had grayed and fallen out in clumps prematurely, his eyes would stay open and bloodshot as his hunger kept him up at night, his hands would be shaking as it held the only axe in the house, the only weapon for miles. The creaking floorboards made the neighbor and his remaining sons, knowing of what they’d eaten, beg God for forgiveness as they knew that the farmer would come for them, after all, he was hungry. There was no fighting chance against the farmer. Come spring was when the farmer’s wife returned, opening the door, only then screaming in horror when her eyes laid upon the figure that was once her husband, digging his vicious claws into and feasting on the insides of their oldest son, still breathing, clinging onto life. His eyes rolled back, his arm reach out to her as a warning.”

“It was already too late for him, and it would be too late for her if she didn’t run.” He shook his head, “And that she did, but she never made it out of those mountains. Witnesses claimed to have heard her desperate pleas for help, her cries of agony, but no one came, for they were much too afraid of meeting the same fate.”

Orion concluded, “The wendigo- the horrid creature the farmer had become, was a frightening being of Algonquian folklore, and was born when a man selfishly slaughtered and tasted human flesh in times of famine, the first taste would be nothing, but slowly his mind would only have one thought; he had to have more. And the more he’d get, then the more monstrous he’d become. And although he’d have the food he’d so craved- being at the cost of his humanity, it would never be enough to sate his gluttonous desires.” “Och aye but whit abit th' other kids…? Th' yoonger ones fa biddin wi' their mammy…?” Kardok’s eye widened. “Lucky for them, they thrived within the town’s borders, and never once did they venture past,” Orion grinned maliciously, “For fear that they too would become the meal of the wendigo.” Understandably, Kardok didn’t feel like eating and neither did Oliver, as they’d lost their appetite. Quickly, they scurried into the RV to cleanse themselves and prepare for bed, but they knew no matter how many times they washed their hair or scrubbed their bodies with soap, it wouldn’t be enough to erase the ick of the tale.

Falling asleep was a challenge as well, especially for Kardok. He lied awake, his eye still wide open. He could not erase the horrible details from his head, and why couldn’t he? He was tough! A story like this couldn’t deter him from having fun. This was his trip, his vacation! Whether it was true or not, he didn’t need to know. Maybe tomorrow when they return from the mountains he could drop by at the Gold Room downtown and drown these silly fears with a few beers.

As his eyelids grew heavy, as his muscles loosened from the pressure, and his breathing had become less anxious, he’d finally began to drift off.

But then he heard tapping.

Kardok sat up, but thought, it was just a branch. There was no wendigo here, plus, how would it still be around if no one wanted to come here? Logically, without any victims, the wendigo would’ve died of starvation. Okay, maybe they and Salem being exceptions but it was only fall! If these creatures only appeared in the winter- at least he hoped so, then he had nothing to worry about. But that wasn’t it, as the tapping continued. Kardok lied back down and shoved his pillow over his head to block out the noise, it wasn’t that he feared the wendigo, when something out of the ordinary happens; the least that could be expected was something within logic, the worst was the last thing on anyone’s mind. Perhaps there was a woodpecker or a homeless man trying to grab his attention, or perhaps it was a branch, the RV was parked under a tree, and loose branches were hanging close to the windows. Satisfied with this theory, Kardok began to relax and drift off.

But it wasn’t a branch, Kardok’s eye opened as he’d finally figured out what was causing the tapping; he’d seen Orion do it multiple times on their way here.

That was a fingernail.

Slowly, the centaur got up and reached around for a hunting knife, if it was an intruder, then he’d have something to fend them off. He was not afraid; he was Zarok’s Grand Champion! He’d seen much worse in his life, and had committed various atrocities not excluding murder. He’d ripped men apart with his bare hands, and he even shot a man’s eye out! The sound of the tapping bounced around the room, he looked down at Oliver’s sleeping figure, how in the hell could he sleep through all this?

Just as the tapping had started, it immediately stopped as Kardok then heaved a sigh of relief; finally he could rest easy now. At least, he thought so, as the tapping started back up once again, this time it was as if all the fingernails were tapping against the window rhythmically. He could tell that whatever was out there was just trying to get him to come outside, or at the very least annoy him. A sinking feeling in Kardok’s stomach forced him to edge slowly to the window; Oliver had them drawn closed before he went to sleep. As much as he liked it, he wasn’t necessarily fond of the sun getting into his eyes when he woke up in the morning. Reasonable, but considering the circumstance, it made Kardok all the more uncomfortable. With his free hand, he shakenly grasped onto the heavy fabric, the sweat that had accumulated and glossed over his palms was drenched by the curtain.

Quickly, he opened the curtain to see who it was that was annoying him. To his relief, it was Orion, hair strewn all over the place, strands sticking out into the air and covering a portion of his face- well, more so than usual. His eyes had bags under them and he was slouched over, clearly a spitting image of Fortesque. Orion yawned and whispered, “Sorry to wake you up, I had to take a leak but I think I accidentally locked myself out, could you let me in?” Kardok blinked several times, fighting the urge to grin and suppressing his laughter, for Oliver’s sake. Of course this idiot would lock himself out. Kardok quietly exited the bedroom and made his way over towards the door, careful as to not knock anything over, after all, this was Zeal’s RV.

He stretched his arms and his hand then rests on the handle, the door opened, and Kardok poked his head out, turning it to see if Orion had stayed put or was at least standing by the door, but he wasn’t there. He frowned, “Orion, Orion, whaur ur ye? Ah swear, if thes is a prenk aam gonnae make sure ye gie sponge bath duty fur lae ay th' year!” But no answer, only the wind and the crickets could be heard. Strange, where was he? He was outside just a second ago. Grumbling, he shut the door and locked it, if that’s how it was going to be then he could stay outside all night! Kardok went back to bed, and while he managed to get some sleep, it wasn’t long for the tapping to wake him up again. He reached around for the alarm clock; “Its 2 in the fucking morning, what is this man’s problem?” Kardok thought to himself, once again covering his head with the pillow to drown out the noise, “He has the entire woods to use as a bathroom and the forest floor to use as a bed, why can’t he just shut up?” The attempts were once again futile. The only way Kardok could get any sleep was if he just went out there and shut Orion up himself.

As he got up, however, Kardok realized he’d left the curtains open from the last time he’d gotten up. And his stomach dropped like an anchor when he saw that it was not Orion outside. Matter of fact, he wasn’t sure what it was!

This man- no, this creature was tall, gangly and thin. It stood there, gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tightly over the bones. With its bones pushing out against the skin, its complexion an ashy gray, and its icy glossed eyes pushed deep into its dark sockets. It was as if it were a skeleton that had risen from beyond the grave, what lips it had was since long gone, red liquid dripping from between its fangs, though Kardok could see a long, slimy greyish-blue tongue slither out from between the gaps to lap the blood from over its yellowed fangs. And though they were separated by the glass, Kardok gagged at the horrific stench of decay. Granted, he was no stranger to the stench, but this…this wasn’t anything like it! The creature, seeing that Kardok was up, opened its mouth, matted black hair glued to the sallow skin. The maw revealed rows of its needlelike teeth, the hands were gnarly, razor-like talons, and Kardok could spot tufts of stained, matted snow-white fur. Around the neck and barely hiding beneath its fur the creature adorned a necklace made with human bones. And atop its head stood tall and proud, a set of antlers; whether they were that of a deer or elk, Kardok did not care, as he quickly sprang into action and shut the curtains tight. He turned over to Oliver who was still fast asleep, but now Kardok realized, Orion was still outside. Should he go out there? No, it was likely that Orion was a goner. But, Oliver was the kind of man who’d want everyone to stick together, “no man left behind” as they say.

To hell with it! If Orion’s gone, that’s going to be Zarok’s problem! He wasn’t going to go out there and risk dying again for this idiot! He wanted to be outside, so he had to pay the consequences. “Kardok?” he turned to see Orion up and unharmed, “What the hell are you doing? It’s 2 a.m.! Get some sleep.” Kardok blinked, how the hell was he still alive? “What're ye daein'? Ah thooght ye waur ootwith…!” He whispered angrily. “Outside…? Kardok, I’ve been in the RV this whole time, I just got up to take a piss and I came here to grab my flashlight!” Orion whispered back. So much for an honorable sacrifice, but still, it was good to see that he was unharmed. Kardok pinched his temples, “Nae, ye dornt need tae gang ootwith. Jist use th' a body we hae haur…!” “But the loo’s broken thanks to your fat ass!” Orion argued. “Jist use it, yoo're nae gonnae ootwith!” Kardok hissed. But despite his efforts, Orion grabbed the flashlight and proceeded to walk towards the door. He could’ve said nothing, he could’ve just let whatever that was out there snatch him up and gobble him whole, and yet, something within him told him he needed to say something.

Because without thinking, Kardok then blurted, “But there’s a wendigo it thaur…!”

Orion was seconds away from opening the door, he looked up at him and gave him an unamused glance, “Oh my god, Kardok, it was just a story, the wendigo are basic mythology and therefore don’t exist.” “Weel centaurs aren’t supposed tae be real an' yit haur Ah am.” Kardok crosses his arms. He did have a point there.

It seemed like whatever was out there had finally gotten fed up, as the RV began to shake. The sudden movement nearly jolted Oliver awake, while Kardok and Orion went pale as they then heard movement coming from the roof of the RV. “Its oan th' roof…! Its oan th' feckin' roof…!” Kardok panicked. “Then don’t stand there with your dick in your hands, get us out of here!” Orion pulled Kardok out of the bedroom and shoved him towards the driver’s seat. “Ah cannae drife, aam part cuddie…!” Kardok protested as he was forced to sit down, breaking the back part of the seat. “You’re going to be in half if you don’t drive, now floor it!” Orion yelled, “The force should knock this fucker off!” The centaur was fiddling with the keys, finally jamming them into the slot and turning them, but the damn engine wouldn’t turn on. Oh why, oh why did the engine have to go kaput at a time like this? Kardok kept twisting it, uttering “Come on” repeatedly, his voice cracking occasionally and nearly breaking the key when the roar of the engine along with the high beams turned on at last. Just as Kardok was about to put on his seat belt, the wendigo crawled down from the roof and onto to the windshield like a spider, its head turning a full 360˚ and tapping on the glass. Orion and Kardok let out a shriek of terror, Kardok then slamming his front right hoof into the gas pedal, the tires emitting an ugly squeal. Turning the wheel all the way, Kardok began speeding off and out of the campground, madly turning the RV to shake the creature off, but it persisted.

It was no surprise that in amidst the chaos, Oliver would wake up as he was now standing by the breakfast nook grasping onto the kitchen counter and the wooden table for dear life, fully awake and confused. “What's going on, wherefore art we leaving the camp?” But no answer from either was necessary as his eyes were now directed towards the wendigo, he screamed, “Oh mine god, what is that, what the fuck is that!” “Wendigo and it won’t come off!” Just as Kardok answered this, glass shattered in his face as the wendigo had slammed its grotesque antlers against the windshield and with just enough space to hold on, its claws reached in to grab for the closest morsel; Kardok. The centaur began screaming like Jesus was on him; Oliver sprang into action by grabbing a knife from the block, “Hence with thee, demon from hell, back to the icy void from whence thee cameth!” and sunk the blade into its wrist. Blood gushed and spurted out like a geyser, getting into Kardok and Oliver’s faces as the wendigo howled in agony, simultaneously losing its grip on the frame of the vehicle and falling off. The loud, satisfying THUD along with a tremendous bump from beneath their feet made them all sigh in relief. Orion let out a shaky breath, “Good job, Oliver, now let’s get the fuck out of these mountains.”

Way to jinx it, as now they heard sputtering, the RV was coming to a stop.

“Nae…! Nae! Nae! Nae! Nae! Dornt teel me 'at hin' hud fucked wi' th' engine!” Kardok hyperventilated. Unfortunately, it had, as within seconds, the RV had come to a complete stop. “Fuck!” He slammed his fists against the horn; the noise could be heard for miles. They couldn’t stay here, the windshield was already smashed and none of them knew how to kill a wendigo. And no doubt the creature was not too far away from them, and it wouldn’t be long until it recovered and came back for a second round.

Oliver had never seen Kardok flustered before, normally he was fearless- hell, he was Fear itself! But to see him reduced to this, it made him feel lost. Kardok was the one with all the knowledge, experience, and power to kill whatever crossed his path. But that was when they reigned in Gallowmere; this wasn’t Gallowmere, this was 21st century America and everything around them was a complete stranger to them. He didn’t know if they could kill a wendigo or not, heck, they might not live to see tomorrow if they don’t end up as a happy meal to a cannibalistic juggernaut. And rebuilding a body once it’s reduced to a chewed up, bloody mush was no easy task! Orion paced around for a moment to think; a lightbulb went off as he then whipped out a phone- a gift from Zeal he’d received a while back, and thank god, he was likely within close proximity of a telephone pole because he had bars! He switched the data on and typed into the screen. Kardok was appalled, “What're ye daein', thes is nae time tae be textin'!” “Shut up, I’m doing some research and it just might save our asses!” Orion snapped. A minute passed, and Kardok spoke up once again, “Och mah god, coorie up!” “Just a second, and…got it!” Orion beamed, “Okay, we can temporarily disarm the beast with silver blades, that knife Oliver used must’ve been made out of that. And it says here they hate fire, it’ll get pissed off but it should buy us extra time to run!” “And what about killing t, how doth we killeth t?” Oliver queried. “Stake it through the heart with a silver axe, lock it in a silver box, and bury it in a cemetery or churchyard,” Orion read the passage on his screen, “Use the axe to dismember the wendigo, salt each body part and either burn it or scatter the pieces by burying them in far, separate, and inaccessible locations like a well or lake.” “But we don't has't an axe, or knowledge of any nearby wells or waters.” Oliver shook his head. “'en that's it, we're fucked!” Kardok shouted. “Not if we leave the mountains, a small detail I left out was that the wendigo never ventures past its territory.” Orion frowned, slipping his phone into his pocket and opening the door, “We don’t have a lot of time, that wendigo might’ve healed by now, if we don’t move it’ll get in and devour us all.”

He was right, and before stepping out of the vehicle, Kardok armed himself with a few knives, a lighter, and a bottle of hair spray, just to be safe. Why he had a lighter and hairspray in his possession, no one knew, but at a time like this, it was best to keep silly questions until they were back in town. Plus, a makeshift flamethrower would be handy! Off they went, Orion using his phone’s flashlight as a means to guide him and the others towards civilization. Thanks to Kardok’s reckless driving, they weren’t that far off from the borders that separate the woods from the town.

As they wandered through the woods, the group stayed huddled together, and by that, it meant riding on Kardok’s back- Oliver in the back as the lookout, and Orion as the guide. Aside from the flashlight, it was pitch black outside. The dark clouds had swallowed the moon whole, not a star was out to light up the sky either, every tree trunk reminded Kardok of the wendigo’s horrific dried up skin, every twig that snapped beneath his hooves made his stomach jump. His upper body was shivering despite the cozy sweatshirt he had on, an icy chill breezed past him, tickling the hairs on the back on his neck and goosebumps popping from the skin. He could swear the winds were whispering his name, he wanted to stop, but he knew that if he did he’d be condemning him and his comrades to the mercy of the wendigo.

They weren’t sure how long they’d been wandering, but clearly it was too long since the sun was beginning to rise. And by the time they reached their neighborhood, it was 5 am, and they collapsed on their driveway. The men were sleep deprived due to their paranoia and therefore on edge after their walk that they’d failed to notice the squad cars outside Nebby’s house! But in all honesty, they didn’t care what happened, it was likely nothing compared to what they’d just endured.

To add insult to injury, an RV was sitting on their driveway, and out stepped Salem. “Oh hey, lost your RV?” Oliver raised his head and nodded, “We hadst an accident last night and we hadst to walketh home...” “Sorry to hear that, boys,” She consoled, “Oh, and my Uncle Mason said you guys were a lot of fun to hang out with, he wants to do this again next year!” If Orion hadn’t been as exhausted as he was, he would’ve said something snarky. But, something about that sentence didn’t make sense, besides, wasn’t her uncle dead?

Halloween night, unfortunately, Nebby’s plans to take Tim to the festival fell on its back when he’d displayed symptoms for the stomach flu. Turns out McDonald’s for dinner yesterday wasn’t a good idea, who knew his stomach could be as fragile as it is? Clearly he wasn’t lovin’ it! Still, Tim was not about to let that minor setback keep him from enjoying his first Halloween ever! He decided that he should stay behind and pass out candy while Nebby, Ann, and the rest go out to enjoy the festival downtown. After all, there was always next year. Before leaving, Nebby had set up the sofa to make it so Tim was comfortable and provided a waste basket in case he needed quick access. She’d just about finished adjusting the tiara and pencil on her costume, the others had already arrived; Ann was dressed as a ragdoll- a character named Sally, Una invited herself dressed in a spider web poncho and her hair done up in a high ponytail, Winston and Willow dressed in red jumpers with the tags, “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” on them with the tips of their hair dyed with temporary blue hair dye, and Sodreco…Sodreco was a unicorn. It took all within Tim’s power to not start laughing when he first saw it, and a good thing too, his stomach was currently in agony. “Remind me what you’re supposed to be again.” Winston looked up and down at Nebby, who posed heroically and declared, “Wonder Ramsay! I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to be Wonder Woman or Gordon Ramsay, and Tim said if I liked both, then I could be both!”

Willow giggled, “It looks strangely enough, very fitting on you! If I were a judge at the costume contest, I’d give you points for originality and creativity!” “Yeah well, if only I had a whip and a whole slew of TV shows to complete the look.” Nebby shrugged, “That would’ve been perfect.”

Winston seated himself next to Tim, who decided to rest his head on his shoulder. In response, Winston wrapped an arm around his sweetheart, “Are you sure you don’t want us to stay here and keep you company? I feel bad leaving my sweetheart alone on Halloween night.” “Its fine,” Tim smiled weakly, “I doubt there’d be a lot of ginger ale at the festival, plus, I don’t think I can keep myself standing up for more than a few minutes. And who else is going to hand out candy to those trick-or-treaters?” “Oy, Tim! You know what to give to the adults with crappy costumes, right?” Nebby called. “Ms. Nebula, I’m not handing out three year old M&M’s and bubblegum.” The archer frowned. “It was worth a shot.” She shrugged once again. Winston laughed, then gave Tim a quick peck on the lips, “Alright, I trust you. There’s always next year, I guess.” Ann joined in, “We can pick up candy for you, if you’d like.” Tim sat up, “Ooh! Yes, plenty of peanut butter cups and chocolate!” Sodreco smiled, going over to ruffle his student’s head, “You can only have them when you’re feeling better.” To which Tim pouted playfully.

Nebby, who had broken off from the group earlier, had just returned, “Alright, all doors and windows are locked, curtains are drawn, I’ve signed into Netflix, and there’s chicken soup and ginger ale ready for you on the counter.” “Thank you for your kindness.” Tim smiled warmly, “Though, if I may ask, why latch up the whole house?” “To prevent any drunken morons from breaking in; happened to me last year and it was a bitch getting all those frat boys out of my basement.” Nebby cringed, “I still remember the togas.”

Willow felt a tug on her onesie; she turned to see it was Una, whom after getting her attention pointed to the time shown on her lock screen. She concluded, “And speaking of drunks, I think we’d better get going, they’ll start coming in around 8.” “Ah fuck, you’re right.” Nebby grabbed her keys, “We’ll be back soon. Call us if there’s an emergency or if Zarok’s at the door, call Zeal.” “Have a good time.” Tim waved as she exited the house. Winston bade him goodbye by giving him another kiss, “Happy Halloween, my sweetheart, get well soon.” “And to you too, have fun, love.” He watched as he and the others left. Once they were all gone and the front door locked with a satisfying click, Tim lied back down…until he felt lightheaded. Thank god he was alone.

The first wave of trick or treaters came at least ten minutes after the group had left, and for a minute, Tim thought there wouldn’t be enough candy to last him the night. But thankfully he’d located the piles upon piles of extra candy, so all worries were set aside. This neighborhood housed a lot of kids, and he wasn’t exaggerating, there was a lot! Tim got up- on average, of 6 times every ten minutes to hand out candy. Though it may sound like an annoyance, it really wasn’t. Tim enjoyed handing out candy, and seeing them dressed in their costumes, whether store-bought or handmade made him happy. Heck, he just might be able to pull through! The last wave of trick-or-treaters came around 7:30 pm, ending with a little brunette boy dressed in the exact same costume as him. He ran through the decorations set up by Nebby on the front yard, and came to the door accompanied by his blonde mother. The boy held out his bag in excitement as Tim answered the door one final time. “Trick-or-treat!” the boy was grinning from ear to ear. Tim handed him a generous portion of candy, dropping them into the child’s bag. He swore he saw those eyes light up like stars as he looked at his mother, “Momma! Look! He’s dressed like me!” “I see that, my little warrior,” She giggled, “Now what do we say?” To which the child nodded and chirps, “Thank you, Happy Halloween!” “And to you too, have a good evening! Be safe out there!” Tim laughed as he watched the pair exit the premises. As he closed the door and locked it, he couldn’t help but feel that those two reminded him too much of his own mother and himself when he was a child. Fond memories they were, being an energetic youth yet at the same time oddly shy, the only bounds being his own imagination, which seemed almost endless. Maybe, if he’d been born another time, Tim would’ve been able to have unique memories like Trick-or-Treating. But it wasn’t like he could pick and choose when and where his life would take place.

His thoughts were interrupted by another pang of pain in his stomach, a sign that he’d been standing for too long and needed to lie down, he groaned and sulked back to the living room to lie down. Tim reached for the remote and hit the play button, continuing a movie he’d decided to watch on Netflix. The movie was called, “Halloween”, and it was about a masked serial killer that struck only on Halloween. Simple plot, but hey, it didn’t need anything grand for it to be good. According to Nebby- who recommended it, said it had a low budget but still managed to scare audiences across the country!

As the movie progressed, right as the killer was about to stab another victim to death, Tim jumped to the sound of the landline going off. Strange, he hadn’t heard that thing go off in weeks. Nebby made it abundantly clear to all telemarketers that she was not interested and to remove her from the call-list. She also had a rule about the landline, to which Tim quoted under his breath, “If it’s important, they’ll call again or leave a message.” And just as he’d predicted, after the first ring, the phone went off again. Ah, so it was important. Tim carefully got up, “Just a minute…!” Thankfully, he’d reached the phone, which was in the hallway; he picked it up and answered with a “hello”. He expected it to be either one of his friends calling to check up on him, but was instead met with heavy breathing. Now this was unusual.

Confused, Tim repeated, “Hello?” But all he could hear was heavy breathing.

This had to be Nebby calling; she was probably already drunk and butt-dialing the house. He rolled his eyes as he hung up, but before he could return to his seat, the phone rang again. Okay, this couldn’t be a butt-dial. But Tim didn’t want to answer it; he wanted to hear the voicemail. He got what he asked for, and what did this oh-so elusive voicemail consist of? If your guess was heavy breathing, then you’d be correct. This was definitely no coincidence, and Tim was now mildly annoyed. Those kids and their prank calls, ha! Tim decided that it’d be best to ignore the calls and let them go straight to voicemail. And while he felt like he’d made the right decision, he couldn’t feel as if something were off.

Two hours passed, and the calls had slowly become more frequent, and now Tim was annoyed. He couldn’t even enjoy the movie or even take a nap! Just how persistent were these kids anyhow? “That’s it, if these kids call one more time, I’m going to scream!” He grumbled. And what happened next? The phone rang. Tim growled, “That’s it!” with all the strength he could muster, he stomped over to the phone and as soon as the heavy breathing started, he let loose the angriest, most irritated scream he could conjure up. “There, see how you like having your ears bleed!” and he slammed the phone back into the receiver. He slumped back into his seat, just in time to receive a facetime call from Nebby. He answered, revealing his friend at the bar. He smiled, “Oh, Ms. Nebula! Hello!” Seeing her face calmed him down, it almost made him forget about those obnoxious calls. “Hey Tim, how’re you holding up?” She frowned, “You don’t look so good.”

“Ah, I’m a little irritated right now.” “Ah shit, is Netflix not working?” “Netflix is fine, it’s these phone calls I kept receiving.” “Are stupid kids calling the house phone?” “Yes, and they’ve been at it for two hours, I fear I’m getting more weary just thinking about it!” “Two hours? That seems a bit too dedicated if you ask me, are you sure it’s kids?” “Considering I just screamed into the speaker, I hope it is. Maybe they’ll learn their lesson.” “Oh yeah, you’re going to get a lot of those calls on Halloween, don’t worry.” “Oh! How was the festival?” “Wild, taking a break though, your boyfriend’s got the munchies and I need a drink!” “Just not too much, you have work in the morning.” “I know, I know. Okay, looks like everything’s all good here, I’ll let you go.” “Thank you, I’ll see you soon!”

Just as he hung up, lo and behold, the house phone rang once again. Tim was appalled, just how dedicated were these kids? He groaned, getting up to answer the phone, “Okay, I don’t think I’ve made myself clear; Stop. Calling. The house! What’s wrong with you? I’ve been sick like a dog all day, all I ask is for a nice night to watch movies and recover. I can’t get any of that done when you’re calling me every five seconds! If you call again, I will alert the authorities!” He was about to hang up when he heard a gruff, distorted voice, “Don’t forget to turn off the stove.” Turn off the stove? He turned his head to peak into the kitchen, and wouldn’t you know it, the stove was on. Bewildered, he set the phone to the side, and then crept over to the stove to turn it off. How did he know about the stove? And besides, the stove was already off when Nebby and the others left. These were no kids he was dealing with, but a lonely man stalking him.

Great, now he was the teenage girl home alone, just like in those horror movies!

And Tim couldn’t be more irritated. So much for a good first Halloween, it was bad enough already he was sick! He’d forgotten to hang up, as the voice then asked, “Do you like clowns, Tim? I bet you like clowns.” No, he didn’t. He didn’t like clowns, but he wasn’t about to tell this stranger that. He placed the phone back onto the receiver after hanging up yet again, now feeling slightly uncomfortable. “How did he know my name…?” Tim’s eyes widened slightly. But then his eyebrows furrowed into a frown, wait a second…He grabbed the phone and dialed the number. Zarok’s croaky voice answered, “What do you want, Andrews?” “Zarok, I know it was you calling me! Do you have any idea what time it is?” He placed a hand on his hip.

“I was, but then you screamed into my ears, you worm!” “Good, I hope I ruined your ears, now will you stop calling me?” “I did, I did stop calling you!” “Then why did you ask me if I liked clowns? I hate clowns!” It was silent on the other end, and Zarok answered in a confused tone, “You hate clowns?” “Yes! You asked me if I liked them! And before that, you told me the stove was on! Don’t tell me you broke into the house again!” It was silent again. Tim huffed, “If I look out the living room window right now, and I see you standing there, I will get Ms. Nebula’s handgun and put a bullet somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine!” He walked towards the window, pulling back the curtains to see what was in the front yard. Standing underneath a lamppost was a figure dressed in a clown suit, mask and all. It even had a phone held up to its ear. Tim grinned in triumph, getting his other phone to take a picture, “Aha! Now I’ve got you! I see you there, trying to scare me, well let’s see how you like it when squad cars are congesting your driveway!”

He then heard another voice on the line, a bit of bickering in the background and eventually, Zeal’s voice was on the line, “Hello? Timothy, is that you?” Wait. Zeal’s talking to him. There was only one person outside. “Y-Yes, yes it’s me.” He trembled.

“Timothy, it’s midnight, I’d hate to be rude, but you really shouldn’t be calling at this hour.” “O-Oh, yes, I-I understand. I’m sorry, but he’s been calling me repeatedly and…” “I see, I’m sorry about that, and Nebula told me you were sick, you poor man.” “Yes, I am. Don’t worry, I’m recovering.” “That’s good! My brother said you were about to call the police?” “N-No, I’m sorry, I think there’s someone else responsible for the calls.” “Calling you after 8 pm? Oh no, I believe you’re mistaken, Zarok is asleep at that hour. Is everything alright over there?” “Do you want my honest opinion? No. There’s a weirdo in a clown suit standing outside the house, and now…I’m afraid.” Tim looked away from the window, the curtain drawing back. Okay, okay, so there was a man stalking him, likely another if the stove was on. Zeal was beginning to sound uncomfortable, “Timothy, Timothy if you’re in danger, get out of the house! I’m going to call Nebula right now!” Tim looked at the curtain, and as tempting as it was to leave them alone and leave, he had to see if the clown was within close range of the yard. When he did, Tim was relieved to find that the clown was gone. He sighed in relief, “No, no, its fine now, the clown is gone. Besides, I know how to-“but as he turned around, he then came face to face with a rubber clown mask.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like clowns?”

Tim let out the most bloodcurdling scream he’d ever made in his life, dropping the house phone.

Police units arrived at the Donk residence within twenty minutes after Zeal tipped off police officers and explained that a home invasion was in progress. Nebby and the others arrived later than that thanks to traffic, and were alarmed to see cars parked out in the driveway. Winston and Sodreco burst out from the backseat when they saw a masked intruder being led out in handcuffs, covered in blood. Assuming the worst, they entered to find Tim, alive and well, lying on the sofa covered in blankets giving a statement to the police. “- I’d assumed it was a prank, but when they addressed me by name I knew it was no prank.” He concluded. “Timothy!” Winston hurried over to embrace him, “Timothy, what happened?”

“Your boyfriend managed to beat up and perform a citizen’s arrest on an escaped criminal.” The officer informed him, “From the looks of it, he threw the suspect out that window,” he pointed to a shattered window, both heard Nebby outside screeching, “OH MY-! FUCK me with my own FIST! He broke my fucking window!”

“Subject wasn’t able to speak due to a brutal punch or kick to the throat, and well, let’s just say he beat him to a pulp and call it a night.” The officer chuckled, “We’ll still be collecting evidence, however.”

Winston blinked, then looked at Tim, “Sweetheart, you did all that?”

“What? I hate clowns.

#Donk and Sparrow #((had to post here since DeviantArt says the file was too big))

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lizzybeth1986 · 7 years ago

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The Handmaid of History*: Exploring the Coat-of-Arms of Cordonia's Duchies

"An emblem is but a silent parable" - Introduction to Emblemes, by Francis Quakes.

Heraldry is sometimes referred to as an ancient and exact science, a straightforward method of identifying individual people and the communities they live and work in**. It uses a combination of colours, shapes and symbols to represent - in most cases, but not all - a noble house. While heraldry was present in the ancient times (esp in Rome), the system of blazoning arms the way it is done in many English-speaking countries today was developed in the Middle Ages.

Heraldry itself arose from a need to distinguish participants quickly and easily in combat. According to Hugh Stanford London, the writer of Royal Beasts, armorial bearings were essentially military, and the early arms were identified almost as closely with the land as with the man. Later on, these coat of arms would be passed down a family (mostly aristocratic, but a non-aristocrat can make their own heraldic emblem) from generation to generation, such that the noble family would be identified with the emblem itself. Because of its distinctive use of symbols, heraldry is often viewed as "the fusion of fact and fancy, myth and manner, romance and reality. It is an exuberant union of family, art, and history." (Charles Burnett and Mark Dennis in Scotland's Heraldic Heritage: The Lion Rejoicing).

A number of factors go into the making of a Coat-of-Arms for a noble house, which I will briefly highlight as the following: the shape of the shield, and of the smaller shield superimposed (Escutcheon/Inescutcheon), colour (Tincture), patterns (Divisions/Variations of the Field, as well as Ordinaries/Subordinaries), and objects or figures that represent the family (Charges). We do not get to see the Coat-of-Arms for the five duchies we have visited thus far, so I will focus on - and explain in detail - the parts of their heraldry that we do see: the tincture and the charges.

Tinctures

In a broader sense, tincture refers to the limited palette of colours and patterns used in heraldry. It is commonly divided into three categories: metals, colours and furs.

Metals: This refers primarily to the metallic colours used in the coat-of-arms, and can be or (metallic gold/yellow) or argent (metallic silver/white/grey). White and yellow are often seen in heraldry as the 'metal' colours, and yellow has never been used to signify any other tincture besides or.

Colours: These refer to the colours that are non-metallic and are often used to offset and complement the metals. In the early days of heraldry, there were five colours: gules (red), azure (blue), vert (green), sable (black) and purpure (purple). There were two that were eventually acknowledged but not very often used owing to popular belief that they represented some sort of dishonour on the bearer - sanguine/murray (dark red/mulberry) and tennè (orange/dark yellow/tan). In the 20th century, a new colour bleu-celeste (light blue) was added to the list.

It is important to remember the "Rule of Tincture". The most basic rule of tinctures is that "metal should not be put on metal, nor colour on colour". This means that metallic colours cannot be used one over the other, nor can one do the same with two colours. It is said that this rule was implemented for purposes of design and visibility. There are exceptions to this rule, however. Legitimate exceptions include the use of furs, or using those colours in divisions on the coat of arms.

Violations to this rule are often either called armes fausses (false arms) or armes à enquérir (arms of enquiry); that is, any violation is presumed to be intentional, to invite the viewer to ask how it came to pass. According to the International Heraldry website, these exceptions tend to apply "powerful individuals who wish to emphasize that ordinary worldly rules do not apply to them".

Charges

Charges refer to any object or figure that is placed on a heraldic sheild or coat of arms. The emblem or the sigil that represents the House, so to speak. This can include animals, objects in nature, or even geometric shapes (the cross being the most popular). In the case of living beings, the attitude (posture) is equally important. Since a majority of the Cordonian noble houses (with the exception of Krona/Fydelia) use animals, this section will primarily focus on them:

Beasts/Land: This category can include both predatory animals and docile animals. They can be portrayed in a whole range of attitudes: rampant (upright on one hind leg, in a mode of attack), salient (leaping/jumping), passant (walking/running), statant (still and on all fours), sejant (seated with forelegs down and together), dormant (sleeping) - just to name a few. The most frequently seen beast sigil is that of the lion. Mythical creatures can also feature in heraldic sheilds, and the most popular among these include the dragon and the phoenix.

Birds/Avian: Creatures of the air have also been immortalized as sigils in heraldry. They can be found displaying the following attitudes: rising (open wings, about to take flight), displayed (wings outstretched to either side), close (closed wings), volant (in flight) - again, only to name a few. The avian can be shown either from the side or the front. The most frequently seen avian sigil is that of the eagle.

Sea-creatures/Aquatic: This could refer to fish or other creatures that reside in the waters. They are often found displaying the following attitudes: hauriant (vertical with head up), urinant (vertical with head down), naiant (swimming fesswise), embowed (arched, as though it were leaping) - again, to name a few.

Plants: Plants are common in heraldry and figure among the earliest charges. Trees also appear in heraldry; the most frequent tree by far is the oak (drawn with large leaves and acorns), followed by the pine. Apples and bunches of grapes occur very frequently, other fruits less so.

Heraldry in Cordonia

Cordonia is a monarchy, and its people compromise of aristocrats from major and minor noble houses as well as people who do not hold a recognizable rank and are referred to as commonors. The national symbol is established to be the lion, and the national colours are blue-and-gold/silver (while Leo tells us in RoE that silver is the second national colour, many of the royal outfits show it as gold). In Book 3 of The Royal Romance, we learn more about Cordonia and its people - the nobility in particular - due to the Unity Tour.

In each chapter from Chapter 3 onwards, the MC is required to gain the favour of Cordonia's most powerful and influential nobles, because their presence at her wedding will add glamour and glory, and perhaps revive the public's positive opinion of the monarchy. Part of gaining their favour involves showing them that she has done her research and knows their region well, and one of the ways she does this is by wearing their house colours. These diamond-option outfits are usually accessorized with the house sigil.

Many of these sigils are common to many European noble houses, but a few are present as a reference to the Five Kingdoms in The Crown and the Flame, which revolves around the history of Cordonia. In this essay I will be exploring all the sigils we will be shown so far, and theorizing on the sigils of Lythikos and Valtoria. I will not be covering the Cordonian royal seal, King Liam's family crest, because it has already been explored in detail here.

Portavira

(Apologies for this creepy smile that I forgot to crop out. It was 1 in the morning)

Tinctures: Or (gold) and Purpure (purple). Gold is said to represent generosity and elevation of the mind, and purple is said to represent royal majesty, sovereignity and justice. These tinctures were also the colours associated most with Ennan, the coastal capital of the ancient kingdom of Fydoria.

Charges: Purpure, a narwhal naiant or. In both the MC's necklace and Penelope's belt, the narwhal is gold, ergo one can assume this is how it appears in the family crest as well. The narwhal is facing right, or sinister in heraldic terms. The narwhal is said to be the 'unicorn of the sea', and indeed in medieval Europe the narwhal tooth/tusk was often passed off for a 'unicorn horn' and considered to be of inestimable value.

Portavira is primarily a sea port, so it makes sense that they would use an aquatic animal as their sigil. The narwhal is unique to the whale species owing to its massive tusk (which is in fact a tooth). Emmaline and Landon are seen as people who stand out among the crowd of aristocrats owing to their commitment for Portavira and its people, so much so that Drake, the commoner in the court, looks up to them and wants to be like them if he marries the MC. I would imagine that Penelope stands out in court too, primarily because of how her social anxiety changes the way she interacts with people, and her connection to her support animals. The narwhal therefore could also be fitting to Penelope on a symbolic level.

Castelsarreillan

Tinctures: Argent (silver) and sable (black). Silver is said to represent peace and sincerity, and black is said to represent constancy. While Abanthus is more often associated in the books with the Nevrakis family and Olivia, the Castelsarreillan duchy seems to have the same tinctures as them. It is possible that the modern Nevrakis family has different colours at present.

Charges: Sable, an owl with wings displayed argent, as seen from the arm band given to the MC. Kiara's pendant is also silver in colour, but the wings are closed. Since the MC is the one who has the responsibility of winning Kiara's family over by accurately representing their duchy, I will assume that the armband is a more accurate representation of the crest. The Armorial Gold Library website, touted to be "the largest heraldry symbolism library on the Internet” has this to say about the owl being used as a sigil: "Usually shown full-faced or guardant, a hawk-like creature, the owl is the bird of Athena (Minerva), Greek goddess of wisdom and favourite daughter of Zeus. Athena is best known for her embodiment of reason, strength and wisdom and for assisting others on their heroic journey for self-mastery and understanding; since this century's old connection with Athena/Minerva the owl has been used to denote one who is vigilant, prudent and of acute wit."

Kiara is often called the smartest person in the court, and has been praised for her intelligence and skills by everyone from the MC to the very exacting Madeleine (however, they tend to say this only when they need something from her). She is smart, ambitious and knows ten languages. She understands sooner than the others that she might not have a chance with Prince Liam during the social season, and spends the rest of her time building alliances and cementing her place in court.

Her parents Hakim and Joelle are known for their skills as a diplomat and artist respectively, and contribute in significant ways to the betterment of Cordonia. Hakim is so skilled a diplomat that he manages to placate a livid Olivia Nevrakis in a matter of minutes. Joelle shows incredible foresight when she explains why her family and the King Father have very different views of what constitutes progress in Cordonia: "Hakim and I don't just want Cordonia to be stable and peaceful. Those are blessings, naturellement, but our kingdom can do so much more than survive". King Liam speaks of her as the kind of person King Fabian would have approved of. It is possible, therefore, that the owl represents Kiara as she is in the court, and her family's standing in Cordonia.

Krona

Tinctures: Sable (black) and vert (green). Black is usually associated with constancy and green with hope, joy and loyalty in love. Sable is not often used as a metal in heraldry, but certain cases, it takes on that role. Perhaps the fact that this duchy is allowed to place colour on colour (if the Rules of Tinctures applies to Cordonia) is an indication of how powerful the family is.

Charges: In Book 3 Chapter 9, we are told that the house sigil of the Krona duchy/Fydelia county is a tree, but not which tree it is. We do know, from one of the dialogue options that to the people of this estate the tree symbolizes 'life and knowledge'. However, it isn't too hard to figure out which tree graces the House sigil.

Madeleine tells Olivia, when the latter calls her outfit 'ridiculous', that the leaves on her bodice represent a tree native to Fydelia. One look at the Fydelia estate and we can easily catch the presence of pine trees on the carefully manicured lawn, and see the leaves on Madeleine's bodice as very similar to pine leaves. The pine tree itself is the second-most common tree to be found on heraldic sheilds. According to the Armorial Gold Library website, this is what pine trees tend to represent: "The tree of life and humanity. A pine tree in the forest symbolizes long-suffering, steadfast friendships, and enduring fame. According to Virgil, early Romans decorated pine trees with little masks of Bacchus (a fertility god). As the wind blew the masks around, Bacchus was believed to grant fertility to every part of the tree the masks faced. It is said to symbolize immortality, resiliency, longevity, and rebirth."

While Madeleine is often shown to be toxic, twisted and cruel, it must be said that she also shows tremendous resilience in the circumstances she has found herself in. Constantly dubbed a failure by her father, Madeleine picked herself up time and again, and started over, in the belief that each failure would help her eventually attain the title of Queen. When she mourns the way her dreams have been snatched twice, the MC has the option of suggesting that she "find a new means", since it wasn't just the title that was important to her but also the prospect of helping and protecting Cordonia. And that is exactly what she does in accepting the role of press secretary. Through her masterful gestures (such as the "oath of the orchard") she also attains enduring fame as a courtier and politician.

One can also make a connection to Adeleide through the above note on the pine tree's symbolism. After all, Bacchus/Dionysius is also the god of wine, theater and wild revelries, and you can't get more Dionysian in TRR than Adeleide!

However, it gets a little more confusing when we see Adeleide's attire:

The pendent Adeleide wears seems to show us a different tree, the design of which seems a little similar to that of the oak tree in heraldry. As R. Theo Margelony in his article "The Garden in Heraldry: The Great Oak of the Forest" on the Metropolitan Museum of Art website says: "In heraldry, the oak is the tree and the tree is the oak. It’s seen as a symbol of strength and endurance; even its leaves display a tenacity, less easily shed in the fall than the leaves of other trees...A tree without any other description is always assumed to be an oak."

Adeleide's tendency to drink and engage in revelry is often seen as her weakness, but when you scratch the surface she shows an incredible perceptiveness and a will to survive in court on her terms, never once apologizing for being who she is. She is her daughter's only source of support and encouragement, even though her ways of doing it don't always help Madeleine.

It is also important to mention that the only tree mentioned on a large scale in The Crown and the Flame is the Heart Oak tree, which produces wood that looks deceptively like wood, but is as strong as metal. Liam has spoken of at least one occasion of how duplicity comes naturally to Madeleine, and she tends to mask her pain and fear of failure behind a calm, stoic demeanor. Adeleide seems flighty and distracted, but can hold her own against her cousin Regina and daughter Madeleine even though they seem to have stronger personalities.

Two trees have been associated with this duchy: the oak and the pine. There are two ways one could view this:

1. The sigil itself could be just a tree in general (ergo an oak tree), and Madeleine simply wears the pine-tree outfit to independently represent her county Fydelia.

2. The county could have an additional coat of arms, so Adeleide is representing the duchy of Krona with the oak tree pendent, and Madeleide is representing her county's coat of arms with the pine-tree gown.

In closing, I would like us to look back at the option the MC has of correctly interpreting the symbolism of the tree: that it represents life and knowledge. I believe that Adeleide and Madeleine represent extremes of either quality: Adeleide prefers to enjoy every moment of her life, even if it means she is perceived as an embarrassment to her court, house and family, and Madeleine is single-minded in her pursuit of knowledge and duty, to the extent that she forgets to actually live her life.

Ramsford

Tincture: Going by the MC's clothes at Beaumont Bash and Maxwell's squid suit, I would say argent (white, in this case) and azure (blue) or bleu-celeste (light blue). Silver/white is said to represent peace and sincerity, and blue, truth and loyalty. As you can see above, at the Beaumont Bash the MC's attire represents the Beaumont House colours, whether it's the princess gown she wears or the bluebelle (Perhaps why bluebelle was fashioned that way, and why no one really says anything most times if she wears it. She would still be representing her House colours, like the rest of the suitors). And either way, if we convince him Liam matches her with a white jacket with blue flowers and bowtie.

Charges: House Beaumont is the only noble family whose sigil is revealed in Book 1 itself, and perhaps the only one whose mottos we know of (if "something about vendettas and giant squid" counts). This should come as no surprise, considering this is the house that is sponsoring the MC and she is pretty much considered an honorary Beaumont at some point. Moving on to the sigil, the squid in heraldry used to be rarely ever called as such - it is often identified as calamarie. Unlike the polypus (octopus), the calamarie (squid) usually has ten tentacles.

There is no recognizable meaning given to the calamarie, but this quote from 1635 refers to it as the following: "The Calamarie is sometimes called the Sea-clerk, having as it were a knife and a pen. Some call him the Ink-horn-fish." Indeed, calamarie comes from the Latin word calmus, meaning pen, and is also called the "pen-and-ink" fish. Which is what comes to mind when I envision Bertrand, poring over his accounts and worrying about the honour of his family.

The squid is also associated, however, with a sea animal many Choices fans are familiar with: the kraken, and the fact that this is the animal associated with the Beaumonts is proven by Maxwell wearing a Bubbles pendent at Coney Island. A notorious figure in Norwegian and Scandinavian mythology, the mythical Kraken was known particularly for grabbing passing ships and breaking them apart. Henry Lee, in his book Sea Monsters Unmasked, speaks of the kraken as "peculiarly the object of popular wonder and superstitious dread". While it is seen often as being destructive, there are stories that perceive it as also being very peaceful. One such story highlights a bishop mistaking a resting kraken for a huge rock, erecting an altar and performing mass over it, to which the sea monster responded by respectfully waiting till the mass ended before returning to shore.

In The Crown and the Flame, we first encounter a baby kraken at Hex's lab at Lykos Castle, and since it was captured at the Wolf's Mouth one can view it as being native to Abanthus. Affectionately called Bubbles, the baby kraken grows attached to Val and is freed to live in the sea where it belongs just before the battle begins. He is perceived as adorable and harmless (one of the options is for Val to state that she cannot protect him during the battle, and she states that he cannot help her: "what can a little blob like you do against --"). However, when his mother joins him in The Battle of the Bay, flinging ships with her tentacles, Val confesses that she underestimated Bubbles' usefulness.

Perhaps that is why the kraken is so closely associated with House Beaumont, and especially with Maxwell. The story of the kraken in TCaTF reminds us of how the smallest, most underestimated beings can become powerful allies in time. Maxwell is often seen as the flighty, funny wingman in the group, with no perceptible quality or talent, but it is Liam who points out his resourcefulness (in Shanghai) and perceptiveness (in New York before he proposes). The story of the krakens is also a story of family, because Bubble's mother defends the people who rescued Bubbles in battle, and no matter what happens, the Beaumont brothers always stick together and have each others' backs.

Above are the duchies whose tinctures and sigils have been confirmed in the books so far. The same cannot be said of two duchies that are very important to the plot: Lythikos and Valtoria. One belongs to the Nevrakis family, the last living heir of which is Duchess Olivia. Valtoria is one of the duchies Liam aims at revitalizing, and now belongs to the MC. We are not given any clear indications of what their coat of arms are, so whatever I write below is mostly guesswork and conjecture, and can be contradictory by canonical information in future chapters.

Lythikos

Original Tinctures: Sable (black) and argent (silver). In TCaTF, Kenna can be seen wearing black-and-silver on two occasions: at the alliance meeting her mother Adriana holds for the rulers of the Five Kingdoms in which she meets her untimely death, and to forge an alliance with the Nevrakis family against Empress Azura of Ducitora. Both are determinant (and the latter requires diamonds), but essentially strategic - in wearing their colours, Kenna is sending a positive message to those allies.

Possible Modern Tinctures: Could be gules (red) and sable (black), or gules (red) and argent (silver). Because Olivia's default outfit is a beaded black gown, it has been assumed for a while that the colours hadn't changed. But given that Castelsarreillan's coat of arms uses these colours, and that Olivia wears red to a Ball where everyone else is wearing their house colours, it is possible to assume that the modern Nevrakis family's coat of arms uses red and black. It would also make her alias in the public - "The Scarlet Duchess" - connected to her family and something that she must have taken pride in before the blackmail note.

Further proof that red could be a colour identified with the modern Nevrakis family, comes in the form of Olivia's aunt Lucretia's outfit. She wears a dark red plain gown and a sapphire necklace encased in silver. The shade Lucretia wears is sometimes considered a separate colour (sanguine/mulberry) in heraldry, on that is not often used because it is rumoured to indicate dishonour on the part of the bearer.

In any case, both gules and sanguine, on a symbolic level, seem to be related to battle: gules represents military strength and magnanimity, and is considered the colour of warriors and martyrs. Sanguine represents one who is patient in battle, yet victorious. Olivia is often associated within the narrative with battle and war motifs, and has shown a clear aptitude for the martial arts and military strategy. One cannot say much about Lucretia this early in the game, but if she is in fact an antagonist in the story and involved in the plot against the crown, "one who is patient in battle" may probably suit her.

If the tinctures of the Nevrakis coat of arms are red and black - not red and silver - and Cordonia follows The Rules of Tincture, then Lythikos will be the second duchy that places colour on colour. It must be noted that the only other duchy that seems to do this is Krona, and both are very powerful, and very influential families.

Charges: The Nevrakis sigil has never been spoken about, either in TCaTF or in TRR, so at this point one can only guess what it could be. There are two conclusions I can derive from her outfit alone:

Sword: Olivia wears sword-shaped earrings, at the ends of which hang rubies shaped like drops of blood. The sword type seems to be the kind that is commonly seen in heraldry: a long straight blade, with a cross handle. If red is indeed one of the Nevrakis colours, then the symbolism of the sword would further give credence to her military skill. According to the Armorial Gold Library website, the sword "symbolizes power, protection, authority, strength, and courage. It is a symbol of knighthood and chivalry...To the Teutonic Knights, swords were the symbols of truth and honour and were bestowed on one of stature".

Olivia's association with battle imagery within the narrative features heavily in the books: sometimes as a running gag, and sometimes as a way to show how contrasting, yet complimentary, is her mindset to that of Liam's. She tells us in book 2 of how the Nevrakis family is known not for being safe but for "crushing our enemies". Sun Tzu's The Art of War is one of her favourite books and she confesses to preferring Wagner or Puccini over Mozart because "they really knew how to compose tragic stories of ill-fated couples or bloodshed". In Book 3, she is an enthusiastic (perhaps a little too much so) supporter of King Liam, often calling those reluctant to support him 'cowards'. At Applewood, it is her suggestion - that people should see their anger and desire for vengeance mirrored in the MC - that proves most effective in winning public approval. Her earrings in this chapter strongly resemble Kenna's short sword, her first weapon, the one she may be perhaps most comfortable with.

Most recently, she impresses Mara with her fighting techniques - whether she wins or loses - and her first response if you consider her gown the best of their group is to confess that she "can't fit a dagger under this dress, but even an inch-long knife to the right pressure point will kill a man". I find this statement particularly intriguing, because in TCaTF Book 1, this is exactly what Kenna has the choice of doing before entering Aurelia, and keeping it with her gives her an edge in the fight against Marco and the Nevrakis soldiers. It is clear that within the narrative, Olivia would definitely work as both a Queen and a military strategist.

Her more aggressive approach tends to act as a good foil to Liam's focus on peace and thriving through the promotion of the arts, therefore highlighting why she would be an apt choice for the role of Queen in case the MC does not marry Liam. The sword, therefore, would be an incredibly apt sigil for her family, and for Olivia herself.

Spider: This is not as obvious as the sword, but if we examine closely the way Olivia's dress is designed, it is possible to interpret the glittering black criss-cross lines on her dress as resembling a spider's web. The Armorial Gold Library website lists the spider as symbolic of "tenacity of purpose, heedfulness, and cunning". Olivia possesses all these qualities in spades, especially the first and the last. She is persistent in her determination to find the truth behind the blackmail in Book 2, and in her belief in and support of Liam in Book 3.

The spider is also an incredibly resourceful animal - as Walt Whitman would put it, this insect launches forth "filament, filament, filament, out of itself/ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them". Similarly, Olivia shows incredible resourcefulness in her investigation, discovering in a very short time who could have been behind the leaked photographs of Liam's bachelor party faster than Drake and Bastien combined.

Another possibility could include the wolf, as reference to the Wolf's Mouth in Abanthus, where Kenna and her allies prepared for the famous Battle of the Bay. The wolf was widely used in Mediaeval heraldry. Though commonly reviled as a livestock predator and man-eater, the wolf was also considered a noble and courageous animal, and frequently appeared on the Arms and crests of numerous noble families. It typically symbolised the rewards of perseverance in long sieges or hard industry.

Valtoria

The problem with attempting to interpret a coat of arms for Valtoria is that we are going in with very little information apart from the fact that the sigil is "avian". Numerous birds and avian creatures grace the coat of arms of noble families, so the possibilities could range from a hawk to the very popular eagle to a dove. Since we have not even seen our estate yet or figured out where or which region in the Five Kingdoms it is, we can't exactly know for certain how accurate our guesses are.

However, we can make a few educated guesses by looking at two outfits in our wardrobe. The first is the diamond outfit for the Costume Ball: which highlights both our House colour and our sigil, and has been proven to be the event where all the major noble houses of Cordonia will dress in accordance to their coat-of-arms. The second is a free outfit that has not been used at any of the events thus far. It is titled "The Lady of the House", comprises of two colours and features a bird, which the description states to be a dove. Alongside using a moniker that speaks of ownership and belonging, this outfit seems to have all the trappings of being representative of the duchy we own.

It is possible, therefore, that Valtoria's house sigil could be one of two birds: the pheonix or the dove. The dress at the Costume Ball has plumage that resembles that of a pheonix, and the pheonix itself has deep ties with Cordonian history. The Lady of the House dress is predominantly white with red designs, and the cape is fastened by a clasp comprising of two doves. One must note that red features in both dresses, ergo red must be viewed as the common factor here.

Phoenix

Tinctures: Presumably gules (red) and or (gold/yellow). As mentioned in the Lythikos section, gules is symbolic of military strength and magnanimity, and is often associated with warriors and martyrs. Or (gold) is said to represent generosity and elevation of the mind. There is a predominant orange tint in both the outfit and the TCaTF bird, and orange is said to be representative of worthy ambition - however, it is a colour not often used in heraldry. These colours are also predominant in the fiery plumage of Dom's phoenix. If Olivia's house colours are red and silver, the MC's red and gold will be indicative of their complementary roles in the past.

Charges: In this case, it would be the mythical bird, the phoenix, that "lives for 500 years, builds its own funeral pyre, is consumed by the flames, and rises anew from the ashes. This bearing symbolizes the rising and setting of the sun, as well as immortality, resurrection, and life after death". In heraldry it is only ever shown in one position: rising with wings displayed from the flames, enveloped in fire. It is usually shaped like an eagle. It represents rebirth, new beginnings, starting over.

In The Crown and the Flame, the phoenix emerges (if one pays diamonds) the moment Dom says his final goodbye to his beloved pet hawk in the spirit world. Having just defeated/been defeated by his shadow, this orb from which the phoenix is born is the final gift his hawk has to give, and is one of Dom's many links to the spirit world. It is from the same spirit world that Dom eventually learns to let go of the idea that Kenna needs him to constantly protect and defend her, and eventually "finds his dragon". Both the pheonix and Dom's dragon form meet and fight against the Abanthus forces together in the Battle of the Bay, and both use fire to destroy their enemies.

The MC has to be 'reborn' especially in two books in the TRR series, each time in a new role. In Book 2, she must emerge from the ashes of her ruined reputation, fighting fire with fire as she confronts the powerful people who have wronged her. When she returns to court, people are amazed that she has the audacity to come back after the scandal, and she wins most of them back, slowly but surely. In Book 3, she has already emerged out of the scandal, triumphant, become a duchess, and must now help Cordonia to rise out of its own ashes and prosper. This symbolism is never more prominent than when the MC is given the option to make a rousing speech, about how ash "enriches the soil" thus allowing the Cordonians in Applewood to hope that they can rise out of these ashes and rebuild their orchard. She is also associated with dragons - especially in Shanghai where Liam compares her the dragon koi. As a symbolic phoenix, then, the MC would represent rebirth, rejuvenation and hope.

Dove

Tinctures: Going by the free gown that references Valtoria, gules (red) and argent (silver/white). Red represents military strength and magnanimity, and silver peace and sincerity. On the surface these two look like they could be contradictory, but I feel striking a balance between the two is what could make its bearer, the MC, a great leader. If the MC's house colours are in fact red and silver/white, Olivia's might be red and black, which would be as complementary as the previous option.

Charges: Possibly gules, a dove volant argent. Based on the clasp one can surmise that the dove is in flight (volant), head raised and wings outstretched. Symbolically it is viewed as "the emblem of temperance, the symbol of innocence, the token of inspiration, and the ensign of peace". If depicted, as it often is, with an olive branch in its bill, it becomes the harbinger of good tidings.

Most of this fits the role the MC has to play in the series to a T. She is viewed as an inspiration, both to her friends and lover (Liam highlights this in the Statue of Liberty diamond scene in Book 2), and if she does things right, to the public at large ("she's the Esther DuPont!" Camillia says in Applewood, in my playthrough). The attack at the Homecoming Ball was organized to instill fear in the Cordonian people and shake their faith in Liam, but her wedding itself is speeded up to ensure people have something to look forward to and maintain peace rather than chaos.

While the doves on the clasp do not have an olive branch, it is clear that this is what the MC is doing with the various noble houses she visits. She is offering an olive branch to them, during a time when they are not sure they can support the monarchy. She learns their ways, observes them, attempts to figure out what they want so she can fulfill it and gain their support. Each parent winds up lending support after seeing her genuine concern for their issues, and her ability to think up creative solutions - in some cases - to resolve them. She is also - again determinant on the player - able to help people get past their differences and work together (Godfrey and Adeleide, Hakim and Constantine). While on a logic standpoint a lot about this Unity Tour is questionable, within the narrative it is clear that it is meant to unite Cordonia in an event where all the major noble houses can put aside their differences and come together, thus forging peace and instilling hope among the people.

Conclusion

Auguste Vachon, in his book A Guide to Heraldry from A Canadian Perspective, describes heraldry thus: "Heraldry constitutes a powerful link between the modern world and medieval times, which continues to fascinate because of its pageantry and ideals. It is an ancient art with its own captivating and mystifying properties, elements which are needed to maintain the effectiveness of any symbol. It is still thriving because it responds in a powerful way to the need for symbols among all humans, individually and collectively."

Cordonia has a rich and illustrious history that dates back to Queen Kenna Rys and her fight to win back Stormholt and unite the Five Kingdoms. Much of this history is shown in the coat of arms of some of Cordonia's major ducal estates, and it is a history they all take pride in. In wearing their colours and learning their sigils, the MC is showing respect to that history, and participating in promoting it.

By becoming a duchess and owning one of Cordonia's oldest duchies, she is now an integral part of that history as well. This is her home. This is her history. And by proudly wearing reminders of it, she is keeping it alive.

* Heraldry has been dubbed as "the handmaid of history" by Archibald Barrington in his book Elements of Heraldry.

**From the Scottish Tartans Authority website.

(Many thanks to @alicars with the help on some of these symbols, particularly the pine tree and the phoenix, and @ladynevrakis for being the resident TCaTF expert xD I will be reblogging my sources, as this post has hit the mobile Tumblr's 100 blocks limit).

#the royal romance #long post #king liam #cordonia #esther dupont #valtoria #olivia nevrakis #lythikos #trr madeleine #krona #fydelia #trr penelope #portavira #trr kiara #castelsarreillan #heraldry #cordonian heraldry #the crown and the flame

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jmberries · 8 years ago

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all the fruit asks !! or any five if that's too many ?? ^-^

there aren’t too many with this one so i’m gonna do it all!!!

Peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?

i have my nose and ears pierced (including one cartilage piercing on my right ear) and one tattoo so far. i love my nose piercing and my tattoo a lot okay

Raspberry: favorite flower?

i like things that don’t smell too much and are colorful. lavender is nice. is that a flower? ... i think so. sunflowers are nice. roses are soft (the petals are anyway). i like the idea of succulents but idk those can grow flowers even if they’re not really flowers, right?

Lemon: do you have any pets? what are their names?

right now i just have one pup. his name is chester. he’s adorable.

Mango: what is your trademark?

mint shirts. high ponys (esp. at work). flip flops and baseball ts. black eyeliner with wings that almost never match. crossbody bags. idk.

Passion Fruit: how would you describe your style?

casual, comfortable, and colorful i think

Pineapple: sexual orientation?

finally openly bisexual

Strawberry: favorite desserts?

ice cream all the time, especially mint chocolate chip. ben & jerry’s half backed froyo. the barnes & noble chocolate chunk cookies. sherbet.

Cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

lol no and i’m a better singer in my head than i really am

Grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

any of the disney parks, or an island where i can support local businesses and culture

Banana: favorite horror movies?

lol i don’t watch horror movies. closest one is get out. which is a fantastic film by the way.

Blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

a comedy. i want it to be a romcom that’s fun and not misogynistic but also i’m single and the closest romcom is never been kissed and like meh

Pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

whenever i’m not feeling anxious honestly

Cantaloupe: what are your parents' names?

mike and sherrie

Guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

on myself? natural but that’s literally only because i have no idea how to do a smoky eye no matter how many video tutorials i watch. dark eyeshadow always looks terrible when i do it, like i got hit in the face.

Tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

MERMAID. ALWAYS A MERMAID.

on an unrelated note i bought mermaid washi tape today because it was on sale and i needed it right

Plum: favorite clothing brands?

ava & viv is nice but expensive. lane bryant is nice but expensive. forever 21 is fast fashion but literally all i can afford on a somewhat regular basis since i’m a plus sized woman so yeah.

Coconut: favorite perfume?

vera wang princess revolution (the name says it all????)

Lychee: satin or lace?

both. satin sheets, lace dresses. satin panties, lace bra.

Blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

dorothy gale. i need me some ruby heels. and a puppy i can carry in a hand basket

Apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

tumblr but i’ve gotten into using twitter a lot more recently. mostly bc i’ve got a good group message going there

Kiwi: what's something that fascinates you?

jane austen.

Watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

yes, and book seller. which is perfect for me because i’m a writer and my name is paige. all ur paper-related jokes can be retired now.

Papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

i don’t know. does anyone have an answer for this?

Cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

midday, i think. it’s the hottest, but the brightest part of the day.

Nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?

dear god yes

Orange: do you have long eyelashes?

i think so? maybe? idk.

Apricot: what do you do when you're sad?

listen to fall out boy/paramore/beyonce, read, sleep. i don’t get a lot of work done if i’m not in a good mood.

Star Fruit: favorite sea creature?

real? mermaid coral is really cool. mythical? mermaid.

Dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?

yes. not all the time. sometimes when i go out with my parents. sometimes when i’m just feelin it. every time i film women crush winesday.

#long post #questions #ask me anything #moonbeamroses

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everyone-is-lovelyy · 7 years ago

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Has anyone ever told you that you have a cute nose? yeah! my nose is a wee little nose

When was the last time you wrestled? i feel like it was recently? ah yes, a few nights ago when petar and i were play wrestling in our chairs at this bar Last thing you bought? a floral wrap dress :)

Have you got a good sense of direction? um ish? it’s not too bad actually, i can figure my way around quite well in places i’ve never been to. i think getting around toronto helped with that a lot Are you any good at packing a suitcase? yep, i like packing and find it very peaceful. UNPACKING on the other hand How honest are you to yourself and others? I’d say I’m more honest than not. i’m more honest with myself than others, which can be a bit weird for my brain sometimes but i guess i’ve found it helpful to be honest with myself about how i feel and why i do certain things Do you enjoy photography? yeah, i find it to be a fun hobby :) and i’m hoping to finally get my hands on some film soon and also to start practicing with my digital again How often do you buy or receive flowers? often. i usually buy them for myself once a week, it’s a sunday tradition :) and my mom buys them for me a lot or we buy them together. and petar got me a really lovely bright red flower yday which is currently sitting in a vase next to my bed So far in life, do you think you’ve figured out what love is? yes. it always sounds a bit pretentious to answer yes to this kind of question since the meaning broadens and changes with time. but my idea of love has drastically changed to what i thought it was 5 years ago or even 2 years ago. all i know is love makes you feel good and it makes you want to do better for yourself and for others and real love is kind. Where do you hope to see yourself in 6 years? haha the forbidden question! i have ideas and semblances of “plans” but it’s all quite silly. i barely know what the next year of my life has in store, let alone the next 6 years How many people have ever doubted your potential? a lot. or they’ve doubted my vision or opinions or choices, that always hurt in a way that a lot of other things don’t. i think when people doubt you in that way it hits somewhere close to home, addressing fears of failure and whether you are good enough for something Are you more of a tomboy or a girly girl? i’m not sure, both of these categories are a bit dumb bc in no way do you have to be either/or Are you a fidgety sort of person? depends on the situation. i don’t necessarily always feel at ease with myself but i’m much calmer than i used to be How do you like to spend your free time? not that i’ve ever had free time this FUCKING SEMESTER but generally i like to read and take long walks, bike ride, spend time with my family and friends, i like going out, i’ve started to cook more (!), writing obviously, and i used to paint quite a bit even though i suck at it What’s your mood like today? eh, objectively i’m solid. i’ve just had a big wave of bumminess come over me bc i don’t want to say bye to petar again. but those are the toils of long distance Do you do your laundry regularly, or let it pile up? once a week so regularly? i’m a neat person, messiness really aggravates me Are you a seafood person? YEEEES, been craving some fish stew these days Anything bringing you trouble? not really, just the aforementioned bumminess. aside from that, shit’s pretty good actually. i’m done with university classes FOREVER, i think i’ll do well with exams, summer awaits! Documentaries: Interesting or boring? interesting! i go through phases where they are all i want to watch. recently watched grey gardens for the first time, definite recommend Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon? yep, esp with apples ermergerd Does caffeine affect you, or not so much? not really, it never did. turkish coffee perhaps, if i drink enough of it What is your favourite flavour of cake? FAAAM. i like dry cakes mostly, marble cake, komisbrot which translated is dried fruit cake or KOH (not so dry, not sure how to translate, i suppose it’s milk cake?) and carrot cake! How far away does your best friend live? one of my besties lives in miami, the other one lives in melbourne and the other one lives in thessaloniki :(

What do you consider your default mood to be? i can’t answer this objectively. when i’m stable i’m usually calm and joyful, i had a really bad phase with anxiety this past month and a half so i’ve been more negative than usual. although it’s been getting better recently Any skills you wish to learn? ALL THE SKILLS. i want to work on my italian, learn how to make pottery, how to develop film, work on my vinyasa yoga AND AND AND i want to learn how to sail Bruises and cuts everywhere? nah, with the exception of shitty inflamed mosquito bites How is your last ex doing? well, i think? late i spoke to him he doing pretty well but we generally haven’t spoken or seen each other in ages so i have no idea Have you ever liked a member of the same sex? it never developed into strong emotions but i was sexually attracted to women Do you give up easily? not as easily as i used to, hey! Are any of your friends taller than you? i have one taller friend than me HAH Does anyone disgust you? eeh yeah kind of, a lot actually, all the people Did anything piss you off today? nah and wtv crumminess i had was fixed with pizza that my padre surprised me with and a hot bath Are you a mean person? i can be mean when i’m angry, which i hate to admit. but generally i try not to be Are you a shy person? very rarely at this point Do you ever just lay on the carpet in your house? literally all the fucking time, i live on my carpet Are you the type that tries to be friends with everyone? eeeh, not really? but i am good at making friends with people and get integrated into groups quite fast. i don’t actively try though and rarely end up spending as much time with people as i should Are you a lazy ass sometimes? i go through phases. not so much these past few months though When was the last time you felt outraged? Why? about a week and a half ago with my grandma. she’s so set with certain ideas she has about how things work, even though her opinions indirectly insult a lot of people. it’s difficult to even attempt to explain things to her bc she is so unwilling to hear an opinion that doesn’t fit into her mindset. but yeah, you just have to leave it sometimes. When was the last time you felt guilt in the pit of your stomach? not in ages. this is quite silly but i feel SO guilty when i don’t have time to take my puppy for a walk and he looks at me all sad and i feel like such a piece of shit. and this happened a few days ago. so i guess that. What was the last song you listened to? there will be time by mumford & sons and baaba maal What were you doing last Friday? i think i was studying and watched master of none. oh and went for coffee with a friend :) Have you realized anything recently? i feel like i keep realizing this and then forgetting it and realizing it again. things are so unexpected and planning things is all and well bc having direction is good but attaching yourself to these plans will lead you nowhere. bc 50 million things will happen to change you and your life on the way to that goal, that plan, that place or whatever it is you are wanting at this point in your life. at the end of the day it’s best to let things go their natural way and take whatever great experience you can on the way. it sounds so simple yet i find myself constantly making concrete plans in the hope that it will give me some stability in my mind but really, all this ever does is trap you What do you think is the most important thing to remember for your wellbeing? do what feels right and take care of yourself. your health, both mental and physical. without that, you’re screwed What are your summer plans? oh me oh my. well exams are scattered all throughout summer so primarily that. i’m going to milan again soon for a week! i’d like to see a new city that’s nearby and that i haven’t seen yet. and the seaside, hopefully by car :) but i shall see Anything you’re looking forward to? everything...actually

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hellothisisourhouse · 8 years ago

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Birth Story

Pic: omg I really was pregnant, Lois at 1 week old, Lois last week.

First-time moms like me carry a lot of baggage into the hospital with them - yeah I’m talking about the overstuffed hospital bags, but also 30+ years (and then 9 more focused months) of thinking and planning and obsessing about labor and delivery. Heading into it, my mindset was all over the place - as a feminist I wanted to feel powerful, and as a nerd I felt (over?) informed - but mostly, really, I was feeling like a huge chicken. My whole life I’ve had low pain tolerance (a hangnail will depress me for days) and a total aversion to physical feats (see my tortured cross country participation, or my one day of skiing that I absolutely hated). I was the one who swore I would close my eyes during the videos in birthing class because I didn’t want to accidentally cry in public.

Two things kept me from total melt down as the big day approached. One was the idea of epidurals. We attended a lecture on “pain management options” at UCSF and I asked all my mom friends - everyone seemed to say that they help, like a lot. I also found out that modern ones are more measured and humane than in times past, which was reassuring. I know they are not for everyone, but for me, every time I thought about labor and wanted to panic, I would remember epidurals and feel better. The other was an analogy - that this whole thing is just a rollercoaster. I calm myself down with analogies a lot - maybe someone deeper would call them mantras or something. So the rollercoaster was just a reminder that all you have to do is strap in, and the fun happens to you. Unlike taking a big test, giving a speech, or running a race, it’s not about effort or performing - it’s about showing up and riding it out. Maybe I’m not describing it well, but it helped me.

Be warned - the story below contains words like cervix and crowning and many references to both pee and poop - read at your own risk of feeling icky. Also, it’s really long - I mean scroll to the bottom and see what you’re in for. Ok, you’ve been warned.

So three weeks before the due date (which was Oct 22) I stopped working and settled in at home to eat pasta, read about politics (the presidential election was coming up), and further research pregnancy and baby stuff. I also did the typical 9 months pregnant thing, which is furiously cleaning out drawers and closets - I organized everything from the cake decorations tub to my miniature hotel shampoo collection.

On the evening of Wed, Oct 12, I had been cleaning all day in anticipation of my mom arriving the next day. I was dirty, with my hair up, pajamas on, dusty from handling old paperwork files, and the house was a mid-cleaning disaster zone. Brian was on his way home from work and I wanted to finish just one or two more things before throwing dinner together. At about 6:30pm I reached down to move an ottoman in our bedroom and peed my pants. It’s not the first time that had happened that day - cleaning makes me sneeze and sneezing makes 9 months pregnant women pee - but it was the biggest one. So I trundled to the bathroom to change and noticed the pee was tinged pink. A small alarm bell went off in my head because one of our classes had taught us that amniotic fluid is pink.

Deep in denial (I was sure sure the baby was going to come late - not early!) I googled “how do I know if it’s pee or water breaking” and read a bunch of unhelpful message boards where people swear that water breaking starts with a pop and/or gushes like a waterfall. I thought about calling Brian, but didn’t want to panic him while he was driving - so I called the nurse line at UCSF instead. “Umm hi - I’m pregnant and I’m not sure but maybe my water broke or maybe I just peed. I’m not having any contractions.” I told her it was pink but the amount was little. She said, “it doesn’t sound like your water broke, but because you are GBS positive, you should come in and we’ll check it out.”

Too bad I hadn’t packed our hospital bags yet - I grabbed the nearest duffel and stuffed it with the basic items (thank goodness I had at least created a packing list in advance). I circled the more complicated items thinking - if this is a false alarm, I’ll add these in when we get back home. Brian walked in the door, probably just wondering what was for dinner, but instead he got me announcing that I think my water broke and UCSF wants us to come in. He lept into action - ok, car seat, check, bags, check, grab extension cords and the camera, check, car keys and house keys, check, ok, let’s go. Later we looked back at that car ride and neither one can remember what we talked about, if anything. I think it was pretty quiet as we each processed our feelings and wondered what the night would bring.

At the hospital, I stopped in the bathroom in the lobby and noticed that I had continued to leak, so that seemed significant. We headed up to the birthing center to check in. We might have been the calmest couple-in-labor they saw that night - maybe a little too calm. I was dreading being told that this was a false alarm, but also sort of dreading it being the real deal, so I think I overdid it playing super casual cool at the desk. “Hi, yes, we are here to perhaps have a baby, you know, if that’s how things should pan out. I called about it in advance?” They checked us in.

We went to triage and I got hooked up to monitors, which is when things got interesting. The nurse told us, “this one shows the baby’s heartbeat and this one shows contractions - so you are having contractions, and they are pretty regular.” Well that was news to me - it’s really weird to be told you are having these things you can’t even feel - I literally had not even had any braxton hicks practice ones. As we sat there waiting to be seen by the doctor, we played a game where I would look away from the monitor and try to guess when I was having one. Brian would confirm yes/no - but for a while I kept being totally wrong. If these were contractions, sign me up! (Yes I realize that at 9 months pregnant, I was already very much signed up.)

In triage we also met a medical student who was there to observe - everyone we met that night was so very cool and nice, which helped a lot. We made a joke about him later because it seemed to be his main job to collect our birthing plan paper, which we had left in the car. He asked several times over the next couple hours before Brian finally took pity and went to grab it for him. Our plan was pretty uninteresting (basically, “please just help me out and yes I’m open to an epidural”) and as it turned out, not even useful in the end. Also while in triage, my mom (is she magical? mom esp?) called to ask Brian a computer question. It was pretty funny to watch him talk her through some troubleshooting before finally saying, “oh yeah and we are at the hospital because we think Ani’s water broke” - and go on to explain the whole situation.

When the doctor arrived, she did a speculum exam - by that point I was leaking fluid all over the table and she (and we all) concluded that yes, my water had broken. Interestingly, she said that from her exam (which is different from a proper cervix check), my cervix looked “visually closed” which clued me in that this could be a long process.

The standard procedure for when your water breaks and you’re GBS positive, is to induce labor to get the baby out sooner rather than later. In my case she explained that since I was already contracting (in labor) this was more “augmenting” than “inducing.” Ok then… We decided on a dose of pitocin and made plans to move me to an empty labor room to get the party started. We grabbed our stuff, walked down the hall, met our friendly on-call nurse, and found our room. I think the time was about 9:30pm.

By this time, I could feel my contractions - they started as a slightly nauseous feeling and worked their way toward period cramps as time wore on. Lindsey, our nurse, ran us through the gamut of paperwork and Brian joked with her about how the paperwork must be a lot more hectic if the patient is deep in labor. We signed off on everything and I got the misoprostol - at the last second the doctor came in and recommended that instead of the pitocin. I was thinking about my one friend who had been induced earlier that month (also at UCSF), and how she had waited 2 whole days to give birth. Everyone seemed to think I should rest up, get some sleep, and we would see how labor was progressing in the morning.

Brian realized we hadn’t had dinner (or packed any snacks) so he ran down to the cafe, which closes at 10. He came back with a haul - I ate an apple turnover and some fruit salad because sweets sounded good. I said I was too nauseated to try the burrito, so save it for later. After that, Brian changed into pajamas (I was already in the hospital gown) - we both brushed and flossed and put our mouthguards in. In the Heung household that signals bedtime. We tucked in and I felt uncomfortable (groaning through contractions) but basically ok.

At some point the misoprostol must have kicked in because the contractions were no joke anymore - I kept jumping up from the bed at each one. Lindsey came in and we talked about options - she recommended fentanyl because it was early in labor and I should be resting. It would take the edge off the contractions and make me sleepy, which should be just the ticket. It did make me feel groggy so I laid back down… Until it didn’t anymore and the contractions came raging back.

Here’s the part where I try to describe what a contraction feels like - after all, that’s the scary thing of labor that I always wondered about. Was it an ocean wave coursing through your body like the natural moms said? Was it a full body charlie horse like I imagined (I super hate charlie horses)? Why was everyone always comparing it to period cramps (which I already did in the paragraph above)? Well due maybe to the fentanyl, or just my weird body or something - I’m still not really sure what a contraction feels like. I can honestly say that the main sensation I felt - and this is going to get icky - was intense intense pressure, like I-need-to-poop pressure. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to say it. If I could think of another way to say it without the word poop, I surely would. Soooo - strong period cramps?

A couple other things happened during the intense part, but the order they happened escapes me. One - during one contraction, I really felt that pressure pressure feeling and begged Lindsey to help. I whined like, “I don’t know what to do with this feeling what am I supposed to dooo….” 23 cumulative hours of birthing class and I seemed to remember nothing. She calmly looked me in the face and said, “you need to breath” - and actually that is exactly the reminder I needed. Deep deep deep deep breaths and the contraction was over (until the next one). Even in my addled state I was thinking like, yeah, nurses are baller for dealing with this all the time.

Two - my main MO (probably to the annoyance of Lindsey) was to lie down between contractions and keep up the farce that I was still going to get some sleep that night, and then immediately jump up and and pace or run to the bathroom as soon as a contraction would start. The reason I say annoyance is that the up-and-down required removing my monitors, which I’m allowed to do, but then the nurse has to come check why my monitors are off. So it was a lot of up and down, on and off, in and out and checking on me. During one of these trips, I barfed projectile vomit all over the bathroom. Weirdly, I decided that I should try to clean my totally barf-soaked slippers in the bathroom sink and I actually tried for about 10 seconds before another part of my brain was like, girl, you’re in labor and these are from Ikea - please throw them away. So I did…RIP pink slippers. Then Lindsey, the baller with the patience of a saint, came to check on me and I apologized profusely for completely destroying the bathroom with my fruit salad vomit. She assured me it’s ok. Thinking about it afterward, I bet that happens constantly in these rooms, but at the time I was so embarrassed about the mess.

Three - at some point we all realized the fentanyl was not doing its job anymore (it only lasts like 45 minutes per dose) so I took a second shot of it for relief.

After a particularly frenzied round of me groaning about “the pressure! the pressure!” Lindsey called the doctor back into our labor room. She announced it was now time for a cervix check - went on in for a second, then pushed her stool back, looked at us and said words that are some of the most surprising of my life - “you’re at 10 cm.” You could have picked my jaw up off the floor where it was resting on my slipperless feet. Hello our endless hours of birthing class, you did not prepare me because this is not how it is supposed to go (but like, in a good way?).

The room seemed to spring into action - lights went on, the team assembled, and I heard talk of it’s time to push. Brian and I were like - oh hey but wait can we still get that epidural? I knew that pushing usually lasts 1 to 3 hours, and that’s a long time to be oh-so-very uncomfortable. In my mind the doctor said slowly, “ok sure we can do that for you…” while shaking her head side to side. I’m sure she didn’t actually do that, but that’s the feeling I got. I read the room - no one thought I should get the epidural - just push they said. I’m very trusting so I went with it - feet in the stirrups, face in the nitrous oxide, let’s do this thing. Later Brian said they could pretty much see the baby crowning the minute I was in position. At first he held one leg, but the nurse redirected him to hold my head - it felt really good to have him there for the literal and figurative support. By now I was used to the rhythm of contractions and it made sense to push during and rest between. Pushing her out felt like you might imagine - painful, but sort of necessary too. I took puffs of the nitrous in between pushes because I thought it was funny (the idea of laughing gas amuses me, like I should be at the old timey dentist right now). I also thought about the birthing class video (the one I had dreaded watching) and remembered how easy they had made it look. First the baby is in, then you push, then she’s out! Maybe I didn’t have enough reverence for the miracle that was happening, but sometimes your brain just thinks what it thinks.

Pushing, like the rest of labor, went pretty fast. Each contraction I could feel her moving and then she slipped out - head first, body second, and they put her up on my chest. It’s the moment we had all been waiting for and it was here - 1:51am, Thursday, Oct 13. My first reaction was just to laugh (not sure if I did out loud or just mentally) because it was so unexpected. Later on the medical paperwork confirmed it - ten minutes of pushing - it just seemed so fast and it took me a minute to get my bearing on the situation.

When they realized that the baby was going to come quick, and that I had just redosed on fentanyl, they placed a couple extra doctors on hand in case she came out drugged (a bit scary). But she came out screaming (yay!) and immediately started rooting around when she was on me. My first visual of the human creature that made us parents will forever stick in my mind. The room was dark but there were spotlights in my eyes backlighting her little head, which was inches from my face and craning from side to side, like a little baby dinosaur. Everything we had learned about skin-to-skin and the magic hour made me so excited to see her moving like that, marking the first time I was already proud of our girl for doing her thing.

It took them about an hour to fix me up (yeah, the downside of a fast labor) but between Brian by my side, our fascination with baby’s every move, and a few more puffs of nitrous, I barely noticed. Lindsey the nurse told me my pain tolerance must be higher than I reported because I had been talking to her even during my later contractions (I don’t know about that - in my post-childbirth life I’m back to being a wuss). The nurses also said I should watch out if I ever have another kid - they might be born on the freeway since successive births tends to be faster than the first. They did apgar and the basic tests on the baby and everything looked good - height 21 inches, weight 7 lbs 8 oz. Her temperature was slightly low, but came back up by the next time they measured. We must have slept because the next thing I remember was a 5am wake up to move us to the recovery room.

The next 2 days in the hospital were pretty fun - it rained a lot, we ordered way too much food from the cafeteria, had visits from our parents and a few friends from birthing class who had had their babies just days previous. The staff at UCSF was so so very kind and good - they taught us to feed her, diaper her, swaddle her, and basically keep her alive. I have so much gratitude for them just doing an excellent job, and for our parents swooping in to take care of every other little detail so that we could make recovery and learning our main focus.

So that's it! I realize that parts of this birth story sound a little humble braggy - “I couldn’t even feel my contractions!” “10 minutes of pushing!” - and I do, and have, felt weird about that at various times ever since Oct 13. When other moms are telling their seriously heroic tales, I feel like I have to rush through mine, or add focus on the bad parts to make it sound more gritty. But of course that is silly - our story is what it is - everyone’s story is what it is. Of course I feel lucky (relieved?) that things went smoothly. Of course I had nothing to do with it, it’s just how things went. Afterward, I even googled a bunch of stuff like “are birthing hips a thing” so I could at least feel like maybe this was sweet payback for a life of larger-than-desired jeans sizes, but it turns out birthing hips is not really a thing. Long labor, short labor, smooth labor, complicated labor - it’s pretty impossible to predict. And no one’s really permanently sad about it - even my friends with the longest and hardest labors look back and say, “worth it.” Who knows, but it’s our story and I like it - it brought us Lois and I wouldn’t change one second of the rollercoaster ride that we had.

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