#I want to draw more of him with the childhood he was cheated out of having

[killerslowpoke]

07/06/24 they's just scootin'! sketchy little bonus comic under the cut

[sugume]

FAMILY AFFAIRS w/Jujutsu Kaisen

( TW ) stepcest, dark content, (step)daddy Nanami + Toji, (step)brothers Geto + Gojo, unprotected sex, riding, semi-public sex, cheating, Daddy kink, masturbation, breeding kink, baby trapping (Gojo’s), Gojo’s obsessed and kind of insane.  

Featuring: Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Toji Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru 

☾ GOJO SATORU 

“'Toru!” You scream as your stepbrother pounds into you from behind. You're holding into the edge of the hot tub as Satoru fucks you dumb. 

“Love this fuckin’ ass angel.” Satoru groans as he watches your ass recoil. He slaps your right cheek a few times before doing the same to the left. He looks back at your parents' house. It’s the middle of the night but he can’t help but wish that they’d wake up to your loud moans, that they’d come out screaming about how you too shouldn't be doing this.  

They knew better than to send Satoru away again. He would never leave you and if he had to sneak into his childhood home to fuck his girl--he would.  

“Louder Angel,” Satoru grips your hips and pounds into you harder. “Want everyone to hear you screaming and cumming onto my cock.” 

“Satoru! Love you s’much.” You slur, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your arms give out as he continues to pound it you like there's no tomorrow, you fall on the edge of the hot tub, half of your body hangs out. Satoru doesn’t stop, too far gone. 

“M’gonna cum, gonna give you a baby, gonna make sure you’re never apart from me again!” Satoru pushes on your back. You grunt at the pain of being pushed into the hard, cold edge. 

“Gonna cum, gonna cum ‘Ro!” You scream into the night.  

“Come then baby, cum on your big brother’s cock while he fucks a baby into this sweet cunt.”  

☾ NANAMI KENTO 

“Quite sweetheart, mommy’s sleeping right behind me. Don’t wanna wake her up do you?” Your stepfather whispers in your ear as he pushes his thick cock into you. 

You have to hold a hand to your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. You shouldn't be doing this; all your mother has to do is wake up and look over her husband's shoulder to see her daughter being held down on his cock.  

“D-daddy.” You whisper, turning your head to look at him. He pushes the rest of his cock inside, stuffing you to the brim. You bite down on your bottom lip. 

“S’too much Daddy.” You cry out, Nanami covers your mouth with his in an attempt to get you to stop talking. It hardly works, you cry louder into his mouth as starts to move his cock in and out of you. 

“Feels s’good Daddy,” You moan into his mouth. “I love you.” 

“I love you too baby, but you gotta be quiet or else Daddy’s not gonna be able to fuck you anymore. He’s gonna be sent away and you’ll never see me again.” 

“No!” You choke. You didn't want your Daddy to be sent away. You wanted to stay with him forever. 

“Then be quite baby.” He grunts when you clench down hard around him.  He fucks you faster, stopping every few minutes when the bed starts to stake. You whine softly, closer and closer to cumming the more you think about your mother catching you. She’ll finally let Daddy be yours if she saw how much better you please him, all you would have to do is wake her up. 

But you don’t scream as Daddy fucks you to orgasm. You don’t moan when you feel him cumming deep inside you of and you don’t say a word when he tells you to go back to your own bed. Because you’re a good girl, and if Daddy said to be quiet, you’d be quiet. 

☾ GETO SUGURU 

“Sit up.” Your stepbrother whispers. You grab onto the driver's seat and stand best you can while also trying not to draw attention to your parents upfront.  

You were driving Suguru back to college, all his luggage and extra shit he was bringing were sitting in the other two seats, so you had no choice but to sit on your stepbrother's lap. You didn’t mind though. 

“Alright--sit back down.” Suguru grabs your hips and brings your down on his cock.  Your eyes widen and you gasp. Your thankful your parents like listening to the radio on full blast, you be mortified if they looked back to see you fucking the boy your supposed to call brother. 

“Fuck, you feel so fucking tight,” Suguru groans, grinding his hips into your ass. “Ride me baby, ride my fucking cock.” 

Still holding onto the driver's seat, you look down to make sure your skirt is covering you two before you arch up. Once you get to the tip of his cock you slide back down. “Sugu...” You moan at the feeling of being stretched.  

“Shush y/n, don’t want mommy and daddy to turn around and see you bouncing on your big brother's cock, do you?” Suguru whispers in your ear as he brings you back down on his cock. Your legs start to shake. 

You gasp and grind harder onto is cock before repeating the same movement. After a minute, your legs start to cramp from position you’re in. You fall back onto Suguru chest.  

“C’mon be a good girl and bounce on my cock—what you’re already tired after a few thrust—do I have to do everything?” Suguru grabs your hips and slams you up and down the entire length of his cock. You bite the inside of your cheeks, trying your hardest to keep the moans in. 

“Since you’re making big brother do everything, m’gonna cum in your cunt—no I don’t care about that—than take plan B when you get home!” 

☾ TOJI FUSHIGURO 

"How bad do you want it baby?” Toji watches from his place on the toilet as you trail your fingers down you to your pretty pussy 

“S’bad daddy, want you s’bad!” You whimper, bringing your other hand up to your slippery tits. You squeeze your nipples as you watch you stepdad fists his cock. You slip a finger into your pussy. It’s nothing compared to his bigger ones. 

“Look me in the eye and tell me what you’ve done to deserve it.” He grunts, spreading his thick, hairy thighs further apart. He reaches down with his free hand to play with his balls. 

“I’m a good girl, I always do what you say—please Daddy, I need you,” You whine, tearing up when he just leans back to stare at you with a bored expression. “Please, Daddy.” You whimper, staring at him with big doe eye. You sniffle. 

“Don’t fuckin’ cry, baby,” Toji sighs, he hates seeing his little girl cry. Toji stands and walks into the shower. He picks you just and you throw your arms around his neck “Hate makin’ my baby cry.” He grabs his cock and pushes the tip in. You whimper in her neck as he pushes you down. 

“Daddy.” You whimper in his neck.  

“Daddy’s gonna make you feel better baby.” He kisses your cheek. 

“Yea?” You whisper grabbing his jaw and kissing him on the stubble. 

“Yea, Daddy's gonna make you feel better—just want my baby to stop cryin'.” 

[luvsupa]

PRINCE GOJO LOVES WHO?!

tags: fem!reader x prince! gojo satoru, childhood enemies to almost lovers to enemies (☹️), NEW MALE CHARACTER!, bully!gojo, gojo gets so jealous, love (ish)-hate relationship, gojos so confusing, ANGST, royalty, arranged marriage, forbidden love, lots of tension, smut-ish (intense kissing + grinding), cheating (guys don’t ever cheat) mdni.

w.c: 2.7k

a/n: sorry for the late update 😥 got lazy 🫣 but thank u guys so much for the support! It means a lot! + likes/ reblogs are very appreciative 💆🏽‍♀️

read part 2 here!

you wake up in an unfamiliar room, the soft mattress beneath you swallowing you deeper as you open your eyes. your body aches, you look under the cover to see the formal gown from last night’s dinner.

oh. the dinner.

your heart sinks as you recall the events. ayana had set you up, and gojo... he had brought you to his room and kissed you.

how could gojo treat me like this for years, kiss me, and then continue to torment me? you shift on the king-sized bed, relieved to find you’re alone.

you wince as you get up, the tight corset beneath your gown causing discomfort. you walk to the balcony, the view similar to yours but from many floors above.

opening the double balcony doors, you step closer to the railing and look down. you recognize your parents and gojo's among the guests. there are a few others, can’t seem to recognize their faces. who could they be? did my father invite them?

“how did you sleep?”

you close your eyes in annoyance, he’s the last person you want to see right now.

“i slept fine,” you say, not turning around to look at him. he can sense your irritation. “i shouldn’t overstay my time here, so i will go back to my room.” you turn around to finally face him. his eyes soften as he sees your puffy eyes from last night.

“no, please stay. i-i don’t mind how long,” he says, his voice with desperation, reaching to grab your hand to reassure you.

“i’m not sure ayana would appreciate me staying in the room she shares with her partner,” you say, hinting at her words from last night. gojo seems taken aback by your words and lets go of your hand, his expression faltering.

“so you think she’d appreciate us kissing?” he retorts, a note of bitterness creeping into his voice.

“i- no. but she is someone you will potentially wed. out of respect for the future princess, we must stop.” with that, gojo’s entire aura shifts. his eyes darken with anger at the mention of marriage. without waiting for his response, you exit the balcony and head towards the front door.

“i explained everything to your parents,” he blurts out, desperation seeping into his tone.

“thank you,” you say softly, a mix of gratitude and sorrow in your voice, as you leave his room.

⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . *

as you make yourself look more presentable than you did in gojo’s room, you’re too scared to face your family. you don’t know what gojo said to them, but you assume it’s good.

“hi, dear, we have an important meeting you must attend,” you hear your mother's soft voice from your doorway.

“mother, if this is about last night, i will explain—”

“it is not. satoru enlightened us all, it was just a mere childhood feeling,” she reassures as she walks closer to you. “I deeply regret not hearing your side, but the past is behind us. We must discuss more relevant matters. join me in the drawing room when you're ready.”

tears almost fill your eyes as relief washes over you. finally, your family is hearing you out. you nod as she embraces you with a warm hug before exiting the room, giving you more time to prepare yourself.

⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . *

as you make your way toward the drawing room, your nerves intensify. your mother hadn’t given you any details about the meeting, and the presence of more guards than usual, dressed in different-colored uniforms, only heightens your anxiety.

standing close to the drawing room doors, the guards open them to reveal a room filled with your parents, gojo’s parents, and a few unfamiliar faces you noticed at the balcony. the mothers and other women sit on the couches, while the men stand on the other side, deep in discussion.

abruptly, your mother and the queen stand up, acknowledging your presence. “perfect! dear, we have someone who would like to meet you!” your mother says, her voice brimming with excitement. your nerves spike as an unfamiliar woman calls over someone to meet you.

too nervous to turn around, you hear footsteps approaching behind you.

“hello, my beautiful,” a voice says, making time feel as if it has stopped. you turn around to see a tall, broad-shouldered man with slicked-back blonde hair and a single curled strand. his hazel eyes gaze down at you, and you are in complete shock, struggling to respond.

“i- hi,” you manage to say, shamelessly checking him out. he chuckles at your response.

“i’m kento nanami. i’ve heard a lot about you,” he says smoothly. you’re starstruck by his beauty, still struggling to find words. your mother stands beside you, her hands on your shoulders, urging you to act proper.

“he is also a prince—soon to be king,” your mother whispers in your ear, but nanami definitely hears.

“i hope you don’t see me merely as a king. i’m here to leave the weight of royalty and simply be myself,” he says, as your mother apologizes for her rudeness. if anything, his humility makes you more attracted to him.

“well, we shall leave you two alone to get to know each other on a deeper level,” the queen says, and everyone quickly exits. your mother gives you one last look before leaving, reminding you to be on your best behaviour. for what, though?

“ugh, finally the parents have left. i was getting bored of hearing about royal duties and nonsense,” nanami says, exhaling a long-held breath as you both settle on the couches. his boldness stuns you. he doesn’t want to be bombarded with royal duties... hot.

“i wouldn’t know much about royal duties the way you do, kento. i bet our fathers chatted you into boredom,” you say, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

“my father? no, that was my mother’s brother. my father passed years ago from an illness.”

great. he hates me.

“oh my—I-I’m so sorry, your majesty. i truly didn’t know,” you quickly say, but he gives you a warm smile, reassuring you that you simply didn’t know.

“i would also hope that you would address me without honorifics. i’d hope for my soon-to-be wife to call me by my first name.”

what?

“sorry what? wife? no offense, but i don’t know you or anything about any marriage!” you say, heart racing, realizing you were kept out of the loop.

“your parents haven’t told you? they’ve been stressing my family for years that you were waiting to meet me,” he says, very confused. you shift your position on the couch, fully facing him.

“i’ve had a few conversations about marriage but nothing about us... i-i mean i’m definitely not ready,” you say, starting to freak out. he notices and holds your hand, his much larger and radiating warmth.

“i may not understand being left out of important conversations—especially regarding your future,” he says, drawing circles on your hand. “if you are not ready to marry, i will use my royal duties and call it off.” his warm smile makes your heart feel whole. maybe he’s the one for you; he’s patient, kind, and handsome.

“kento I—”

“i will not let you marry her!” you hear as the doors burst open.

this cannot be happening.

you and nanami quickly stand up, startled by gojo’s sudden interruption.

“satoru, you cannot be—”

“get your guards and get the hell out of my estate. you are not welcome here—nor are you welcome to marry her!” gojo yells, angrily walking towards you both. nanami looks at you, just as confused as you are by gojo’s crazed state.

“excuse us, kento. i need to have a talk with him,” you say sternly, grabbing gojo’s arm and leading him out of the drawing room.

⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . *

after what felt like an eternity dragging gojo to the library, he stubbornly refused to move. finally, you arrive and shut the door behind you, locking it firmly to ensure privacy.

“what the hell is wrong with you? you can’t act like a child and barge in like that!” you say angrily, turning to face him.

“what is wrong with me? how dare you marry someone you don’t even know!” his glare intensifies, his bright blue eyes darkening with rage. “whoever i choose to wed is not your decision—nor shall it be your problem!” you retort, matching his tone.

“it is my problem—especially if you’re making reckless decisions without my presence,” he yells, causing you to scrunch your face in utter confusion. “you’re seriously unbelievable! i can’t believe it,” you say, slowly putting pieces together.

“why are you so against me being married? it shouldn’t matter to—“

“i cannot bear to lose the one person i’m deathly in love with to another man!”

what?

you look at him, wishing he had never said those words. if anything, you wished for him to torment you than confess his love for you.

“that is not fair��it is not fair and you know that,” you say, walking away from him breathing heavily as you go deeper into the library, with him following you.

“i am madly in love with you—since our childhood—“

“satoru, stop. you do not love me. you’ve been making my life a living hell. my stay here—is beyond hell,” you say as you turn and look at him with teary eyes. “the one time i have a chance at life with a loving man and you—you try to ruin it,” you say.

“would he ever love you the depths that i love you?” he questions, and you're taken aback from his words. “love? do you consider ruining my life, my reputation, humiliating me as ‘love’?”

“that was the only way i could block you out of my head—my feelings, my thoughts. i hated the fact your own parents planned to wed you off during our teenage years! i love you so much i pushed you away!” gojo confesses as you watch him pour out his deep feelings.

“so you simply ignored my feelings all those years? all the torment i endured? you only cared about yourself?”

“do you love me?” he says, ignoring what you said. you stammer at your words as he continues to repeat his words, walking closer to you as you slowly walk backwards.

“you were my first love,” you quietly say as you shake your head, your mind all jumbled up. he smiles at your words that he’s been dying to hear. “but you have proved to me over and over that i am not yours. you cannot say you love someone then treat them like shit!” you say as his smile slowly fades.

“i will marry kento and that is the end,” you say. he looks at you angrily.

“is that really what you want? to be with someone who won’t drive you wild like i do? to live a dull life, lacking the connection we have?” he steps closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. 

“you know, i could show you just how much i love you. how every night, it’s your face i see, your name i whisper. just one touch, one kiss, and you’d remember why you were mine first.”

you feel your breath hitch as he leans in, his lips almost dangerously close to yours. “i bet he would never know how to make you tremble with a single look, how to make you ache with a single touch.”

before you can respond, his lips crash against yours in a desperate and passionate hunger. his hands find your waist, pulling you close as the kiss deepens, his mouth relentless and demanding.

lust once again takes over your body, igniting a fire as you wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss more. moans escape into each other’s mouths as you both lose yourselves in the moment. his tongue traces the seam of your lips, seeking entrance, and you part willingly, tasting the sweetness of desire.

as you two are mindlessly kissing, you stumble backward, gojo’s strong arms steadying you both until you collapse onto a nearby couch. your gown drapes around you, the fabric crumpling as you straddle him, your knees sinking into the cushions on either side of his hips. his hands remain on your waist, gripping possessively, refusing to release you from his embrace.

heat radiates between you, his body pressed against yours, a desperate ache building in the pit of your stomach. the intensity of the moment fuels your movements, his hands are guiding you as you’re shamelessly grinding on his bulge. feeling him throb beneath you.

moans and gasps escape into each other’s mouths, the air thick with tension and desire. your bodies move together instinctively, as if trying to merge into one. 

you break the kiss, your lips parting from his with a soft, lingering resistance. his darkened eyes plead for more, hunger burning in their depths as he leans in again, his lips brushing against yours in a silent plea. but you resist, causing him to whine and pout at your refusal. what a baby.

“i-i will marry kento,” you say, your voice trembling slightly with the intensity of your emotions. it’s a final decision made in the heat of the moment.

gojo leans his head back with a frustrated groan from hearing another man’s name. he releases his hold on your waist as you rise from his lap, smoothing out your gown to look more presentable. his whine of protest goes unheard as you walk away, the sound of your heels against the wooden floor echoing as you walk away.

the tension hangs heavy in the library as you leave him behind—your heart racing, your mind reeling, and the taste of him lingering on your lips.

⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . *

you walk through the grand halls, your footsteps echoing softly as you make your way to the garden, seeking a moment to clear your mind from what happened in the library.

as you step into the garden, you notice two figures standing near a fountain. it’s ayana and nanami. ayana is giggling, her hand rubbing against nanami’s arm as she leans in closer to him. she looks up at him with adoring eyes, her laughter bright and flirtatious.

you stop in your tracks, feeling a jealous at the sight. she always finds a way to ruin something.

nanami notices you walking in and turns to gesture you to join them. ayana looks over to see you and scoffs, wrapping her arm possessively around nanami’s as you approach.

“i see you’ve already met ayana,” you say bitterly, shooting a disdainful glance at her.

“met? oh, kenny! you haven’t told her about us!” ayana fake pouts, her tone dripping with insincerity. you look at them in confusion. “who do you think was his stress reliever, hmm?” she confesses, and a pang of jealousy courses through you.

“i’ve told you many times that whatever happened in the past stays in the past, ayana,” nanami says firmly, removing her arms from around him and creating space between them.

“but of course, that was before i met ruru! we’re now happily in love—expecting to be engaged soon,” ayana chirps cheerfully, her words stoking your anger. little does she know what happened a few minutes ago…

“but poor you, would any man truly desire a future with you?” she taunts, walking closer to you, her hand brushing your cheek. you shove her hand away, infuriated by her audacity.

“i intended to announce our engagement at the gala, but we are also planning our marriage,” nanami declares calmly, causing ayana to whirl around in horror. for once, she is speechless, no vile words escaping her lips.

nothing.

“so instead of belittling my wife and your future queen, i’d advise you to show her the respect she deserves,” nanami says in a low, threatening voice. you’re shocked at his words, feeling his soft touch as he takes your hand to lead you out of the garden. not waiting for one of her snarky response.

turning back, you see tears filling ayana’s eyes as she remains frozen in place. seeing her like this brings a small, satisfied smile to your face. but as nanami guides you back into the castle, you notice gojo rushing out of the library towards ayana, her sobs echoing loudly.

you watch as gojo softly comforts her, his actions mirroring those he once showed you. you start to feel enraged at the sight, but your view is cut off as nanami turns a corner, and they disappear from sight.

why am I feeling this way?

[soap-ify]

can I ask for some general fluff headcanons for our soapy boy?

AT YOUR SERVICE ANON!! i don't usually do hcs but i wanted an excuse to ramble about him. so i present you soap hcs that start off as general but gets oddly specific!

cw ��� very fluffy and mildly suggestive at some places.

˙ᵕ˙ (not so) general soap hcs !

the most widely known thing is that johnny is clingy as hell. annoying but you really wouldn’t have it any other way. he is always holding onto you tight, never letting you go even if you’re desperate to get out of the bed for a shower or some breakfast. the only time he’d sometimes let you go is when you’re running late for work. he likes having his arm around your waist all the time, nuzzling his head into your neck and smothering you with kisses without any shame in front of others, especially the taskforce. is this his weird little way of marking you? maybe.

very open about how much he loves you. he’s always speaking his mind, telling you about every single thing he loves about you, all your quirks and habits.

can’t imagine this man ever being a cheater. i imagine him being raised by his mother quite well, and god forbid if he ever cheats, his mother is going to be so angry. he has been taught to treat his lovers in the best manner possible. and so he does. even if he is very playful and just awful at courting, always too eager, he still buys you lots of flowers and takes you on dates, giving you all the love that he has.

he likes hugging your leg. like actually. you’re laying down? he’s beneath you, arms wrapped around your legs, hugging it tight while his face is resting on your upper thigh. he can’t even explain why he does it.

he LOVES it when you press kisses on his crows feet. the same thing with the scar on his chin!

this man watched blade runner 2049 once and had an identity crisis for a whole week. you were concerned.

there is this very specific type of french fries that he likes with certain toppings that he can’t really find in any other fast food place and it annoys him to hell.

he begs you to match with him. it can be from watches that come in pairs for couples or maybe keychains! just match with him or else he’ll be pouty for the whole week.

once when johnny was drunk, he showed you his huge art journal. you weren’t even surprised to know that more than half of the pages were just drawings of you.

johnny loves having strangely deep and philosophical conversations with you late at night. sometimes he just can’t sleep, feeling too active and energetic. if you are luckily awake too, be prepared to question the meaning of life and the existence of everything around you both with him.

he is so disgusting when it comes to sending gym pics (you love it). all flushed and glistening with sweat, he’d be sending your mirror selfies while flexing his muscles, a proud happy grin always adorning your looks.

has a mole on his inner thigh and on his right shoulder! you love kissing them so much.

he bites. hide before he bites your tummy.

he loves taking you to snowy mountains and showing you around his homeland! expect to be attacked with lots of snowballs by him, he really doesn’t show any mercy.

loves drawing on your thighs if you’d let him. he would grab a marker or a paintbrush, drawing pretty things on your skin, loving the way you would giggle at the ticklish feeling. he might accidentally touch your other ticklish spots too just to hear you laugh.

i am a firm believer of johnny having sisters and being the only son in the family! he’d take you to meet his family once, and his sisters showed you all of his childhood pictures while telling you of his silly actions, all while johnny was in the back, face all red.

he can knit! learnt it from his eldest sister. he likes knitting you sweaters or gloves, always choosing your favourite colour.

[yukidragon]

I'm a bit curious was it ever confirmed that Shaun and Ian interacted with one another or met before the eventual breakup between Ian and MC. If not what are some of your headcanons on this matter would they have gotten along at all?

Actually, yes, it has been confirmed that Shaun and Ian knew each other before Ian and MC broke up in this comic posted over on the official Sunny Day Jack twitter!

Credit as always to Sauce for their awesome artwork and for giving us this hilarious glimpse into college age Ian and Shaun. Consider supporting them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team by joining the patreon for even more lore tidbits I can't even mention publicly. Just remember, don't share anything privately posted!

While a lot of teaser/development art should be taken with a grain of salt, if it appears on one of the official pages, it's a pretty safe bet that it's canon to the timeline of the game.

So this comic, also drawn by the awesome Sauce, while hilarious, may or may not be canon.

I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that Ian did not pass Shaun's vibe check.

The first comic certainly makes it clear that Shaun didn't find Ian attractive considering the way he reacted. Maybe it's due to jealousy (I don't think Shaun wants to think about his crush having sex with someone else) or maybe it's because of Ian's bad taste in anime. Who can say?

Content Warnings: This post contains talk of cheating, jealousy, drinking in excess, (unintentional) self-harm, near death experience, SA, issues with sex, and toxic relationships.

I suspect that these two just didn't get along. Between Shaun suffering from jealousy due to his crush and the two of them having different tastes, they were probably only friendly to one another for MC's sake.

I would imagine that Shaun's opinion on Ian took an extreme nosedive when they found out Ian cheated on MC.

Man... can you imagine how much pain Shaun has been through? He had to watch his best friend/crush be happy with someone else... then get devastated by being cheated on. The worst part was if he had bad vibes from Ian from the start, but he ignored his gut feelings for MC's sake.

When it comes to my personal headcanons that I use for Sunshine in Hell... Shaun and Ian had friction since the first day Alice introduced the two of them.

It wasn't just Shaun being jealous of Ian either. Ian was jealous of Shaun too!

Ian has always suffered from a low sense of self-esteem. Shaun, by comparison, is much more well put together, more outgoing, and has this natural charisma that draws people to him. Shaun is just so likable that he gets a lot of attention and friends. For years, Ian was the exact opposite of that, which led to him being bullied and degraded often.

So one day Alice, his childhood friend and partner, is super excited to introduce Ian to her new friend. Shaun and Alice have a lot in common, and it was very visible in the early years of college when Alice was in the middle of her pastel goth phase. Shaun and Alice had a love for horror movies, cats, the goth aesthetic, and a whole bunch of other things. They clicked so quickly, and it scared Ian a little.

It didn't help that Alice had trouble making friends like Ian did. They had that in common, something that gave them a sort of understanding that no one else could intrude on. Now that they were in college they started making more friends, and that was a good thing, really! But Alice clicked with Shaun about as fast as she did with Ian.

In the 1st grade, one day Alice mustered up the courage to talk to Ian in order to cheer him up. After that they started talking every day and they were besties ever since. From there, they started dating. She's never really clicked with anyone else so fast like she did with Ian...

Until Shaun, that is.

Ian kept comparing himself to Shaun, unfavorably. He kept worrying about Alice falling for Shaun instead since, well, clearly Shaun had so much more than Ian had to offer. Why wouldn't she? What didn't help his insecurities was the fact that they had been a couple since high school, but they still hadn't had sex yet.

I integrated the comic into part of Alice and Ian's troubled sex life. The depicted instance was Ian's attempt at making things romantic so that they could finally go all the way.

It took them a while to start being sexually intimate due to their mutual lack of practical knowledge and Alice's SA trauma. She was very cuddly with Ian, not afraid to kiss him or go into a make out session, but she struggled to go further than that for a long time. It left Ian struggling with insecurities, fearing that he wasn't attractive to her despite her constantly reassuring him that wasn't the case.

Really, it was that insecurity and self-blame that pushed Alice to go further than she was ready for, to pretty painful results that she learned to just accept as part of the experience.

Alice is the type of person who can't be comfortable with people touching her unless she trusts them. However, when she gets close to someone, she can get pretty cuddly, even with her friends, giving them hugs often. So, for Ian, seeing his girlfriend get comfortable hugging another guy... someone he might have noticed looking at her a certain way...

Well, getting cockblocked on his rocky road to losing his virginity didn't help Ian see Shaun in a more favorable light.

Really, this was an incident that pushed Ian to be a bit more possessive of Alice. He was already struggling with the fact that his partner was sharing a dorm with someone else, but for Shaun to just casually walk into her bedroom like that without knocking? Ian certainly had permission to come in there without Alice knowing since he's her boyfriend, and he was planning to surprise her with a romantic evening, but how long had Shaun been just letting himself into her private space so casually?

Ian didn't believe that Alice was cheating on him, but what if Shaun decided to take advantage of her? What if this casual blurring of their living space led to feelings blooming?

What if Alice realized that Shaun was so much better than Ian in every way?

This led to Ian asking Alice to move into an apartment with him, even if it cost them money. He was able to feel more secure when they were living together, and he could be the one going into her bedroom at any hour of the day to be with her instead of someone else.

Shaun did try to befriend Ian, but it seemed like every time they hung out, something would rub him the wrong way. He did his best to be happy for Alice and Ian in their relationship, but it wasn't just Ian's shit taste in anime that struck Shaun as a red flag.

It didn't take Shaun long to notice a pattern in Ian and Alice's relationship. Ian would be down on himself, even cry and apologize for being inadequate, and Alice would reassure him. It seemed like every day, he saw this happen at least once. He tried reassuring Ian as well when he could, but after a while it gets tiring to try and lift someone up who keeps dragging himself down. Shaun would suggest Ian try therapy, and Ian would insist it wouldn't work, he was hopeless, and it wasn't worth wasting money on.

It was only when Alice showered Ian with love, and when their mutual friends bent backwards to cheer him up, that Ian would perk up again.

Shaun saw the red flags going up, how Ian was so needy for Alice and it was wearing on her. She went out of her way for Ian all the time, doing so much more because Ian "needed" her.

What made it worse was that Shaun saw how unbalanced their relationship was, how Alice gave Ian so much more than Ian gave back. Because Ian was so clingy, Alice had to often cancel meet ups with friends at the last minute, citing that he was having a bad day and needed her. Yet, on days when Alice was feeling like shit, she just kept powering through, pretending nothing was wrong. It took Shaun a lot of effort to pry her into leaning on him, and he'd even go out of his way to do stuff for her without her asking, like buying her lunch when she was so overworked she forgot to bring any.

Shaun worried for Alice because she was his friend, and she didn't deserve this sort of treatment. It was like she had become Ian's emotional crutch. Regardless of his attraction towards her, regardless if they could ever get together, he wanted her to be happy.

Shaun's opinion of Ian slowly deteriorated over time, but it turned into downright hate when Ian cheated on Alice, especially after she almost died because of it.

It was just a normal night when Shaun got a phone call from Ian. It was about Alice of course. It was the only reason Ian ever called Shaun - to check up on Alice. That night was different because Ian was in a panic. Alice wasn't picking up for him, which was unusual enough, but Ian was insistent that Shaun needed to check on her to make sure she was okay.

It was lucky that Shaun had the spare key to the apartment Alice and Ian shared. The sight of her lying unconscious in a pool of blood in the bathroom is a scar that'll forever be etched in his memory.

Shaun spent an entire night terrified, wondering what had happened. Did Alice try to kill herself? Why? She might have been missing Ian after he moved across the country, but she always reached out to Shaun and others when she wanted company. What happened that night? When he mentioned Alice's state to Ian, he just wailed that it was all his fault and Shaun couldn't reach Ian after that, as Ian was busy trying to book a flight back home to see her at the hospital.

Shaun had to be the one to call Alice's family too, but he had no answers to give them. The doctors would only let family or her legal partner see her for a while. It was only the next day that he learned that it was all because Ian had cheated on Alice, and she drank to dull the pain, only to hurt herself under the influence of alcohol poisoning.

Shaun could've kicked himself. He saw the problems in their relationship, but he didn't think it was his place to say anything. He worried his jealousy was coloring his perspective, seeing things too negatively. Now he wished he pushed harder like his gut told him, got Alice to see that the relationship was no good for her.

When Alice forgave Ian and tried to make it work, Shaun couldn't just sit back and let it happen.

So, yeah, Shaun's opinion of Ian in the present day is very negative. He views Ian as a toxic, manipulative, cheating scumbag who didn't deserve Alice. It was a relief when he managed to help Alice see that too so that she could finally end that toxic relationship. He was there for her so many nights when she cried over Ian and missed him. He saw the pain Ian put Alice through, and it just made his hatred of Ian grow.

Ian is grateful for Shaun being there to help Alice and even getting her to the hospital, but that doesn't get rid of his jealousy. Shaun and Alice are still talking even though she never picks up the phone for Ian anymore. He sees their exchanges online. They're still close. Shaun could one day sweep in and...

Ian can't let that happen. He can't let Shaun steal away the person who means so much to him. He can't let Alice just let him go like this. He just has to apologize to Alice, keep apologizing, and everything will be fine.

Sooooo... yeah, suffice to say, Ian and Shaun do not get along, and I doubt that they ever will... at least in my headcanons.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[pansy-picnics]

First off I need to just mention that your Uknighted dream art is top tier elite and i am in love. Like you have no idea.

Okay, now thats said, do you have any soft ot3 headcanons/scenes that you can imagine happening but can’t figure out how to write etc etc.? 💕

God is all of them an option bc the answer is all of them

I SWEAR I. HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS TAKING UP SPACE IN MY BRAIN (Both for ukd and for the entire family tbh) that i just CANNOT bring myself to draw or write or anything. If i had the time to be able to draw everything that popped in my head it would be OVER for yall i stg. And then theres my in progress fic i have up right now which i last updated in like (checks notes) January but i swear i’ve been THINKING about updating it again and that counts right

- Ummm. this is just something i find very funny but i absolutely love the idea that before they “Formally” announce their relationship, the public have just been spreading rumors left and right about the princess’s “affair”. cass and rapunzel somehow NEVER notice this but for a while it seems like eugene cant go ANYWHERE without someone either awkwardly being like “Soooo how are things going with the princess ^_^;;;” or just straight up asking “Hey is your wife cheating on you?” with no hesitation.

and eugene, being the attention whore he is obviously just Went with it and was like “Well yeah duh. Who do you think set them up”

EVERYONE GOES CRAZY.

before long literally EVERYONE has heard about it. rapunzel’s fucking Parents have heard about it. people in other KINGDOMS have heard about it. Meanwhile eugene’s having the time of his Life. He’s got disguises just to go in and listen in on the servants’ gossip. at this point he’s just started Making shit up and every day he’s spreading a proposition thats somehow even more absurd than the last. Most of them don’t even make sense. Like “Oh yeah no the reason rapunzel and cass are always sneaking off together isn’t because they’re having a steamy love affair it’s actually because they’ve been making blood sacrifices to the underworld to make sure zhan tiri never returns. Just girl things yk?”

“No see you’ve got it all wrong thats not cassandra at all. That’s shorty. He and rapunzel are having a book club together. It’s not going very well because shorty keeps eating all the books.” Or his personal favorite, “Wait you thought RAPUNZEL was the one having the affair?” gets them EVERY TIME.

Cass and rapunzel finally declare things officially only for everyone to become even MORE confused and they finally realize eugenes been fueling the fire for the past 3 months and he had just Assumed they were already aware of it

eugene: ….Wait you guys didnt know about that?

raps: i

raps: NO????

eugene:

eugene: um. Oops

cass: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “OOPS”?????

- this is kind of random but i PROMISE its going somewhere bear with me. In my head eugene is NOT the captain of the guard because a character becoming a cop is literally a fate worse than death. instead i like to imagine he does some kind of social work and is also an author…Eugene has a rlly strong connection to literature and is a great storyteller, hes got a flair for the dramatic and a strong imagination and seeing how much the flynn rider books meant to him in his childhood, i think he’d absolutely want to create something like that for other people 🥹

Anyways one of my favorite ideas w them is a modern au where rapunzel and eugene are both starving artists who are making a webcomic together…Eugene is still trying to publish his first novel and is writing for the comic in the meantime. theyre aspiring towards turning it into a graphic novel. Cass is literally just forcing everyone around her to read it. You’ve already read it? Read it again /J. She’s their number one hypeman but she’s trying to act sooo chill about it to keep up her Cool stone cold butch aesthetic. She’s like going to cons with them and hands out business cards and helps sell merch and she has a side account on twitter where she gets into heated arguments with anyone who hateposts about it.

Bonus points: it’s a fantasy comic about a lost princess, her knight girlfriend and her rogue boyfriend and is loosely a reference to the events of the canon show

- OH OH something that DEFINITELY fits this category has to be the girls taking eugene to the lagoon for the first time…….I think cass and rapunzel still spend a lot of dates there just the two of them, and no matter what it is very much Their Spot ™, but after things become official it just. Doesn’t really feel right to keep it exclusively between them anymore. i have a LOTTTT of thoughts on this…..rapunzel bouncing around and showing everything to him and cass just being dragged along for the ride…picnics together by the water while cass and raps are eagerly telling him all the stories of what he missed out on. it’s their quiet place i think they escape to whenever they don’t want to be bothered at the castle LOL. eugene officiates the cassunzel wedding there….. not to mention if/when they have kids 🥹 Augh. They make sooo many memories there i think🫶🫶🫶

- Not a specific scene so much as just a silly hc but rapunzel LOVES it when they “fight” over her. Usually it’s just a playful thing and rapunzel finds it so cute and endearing. They have the exact same banter every time and the same fake “duel” for her hand and raps will NEVER get tired of it

- oh and SPA DAYS. God cassandra’s self care routines by herself have always been SHIT. I love that girl but i think she absolutely reeks. Her hair looks like something died in it and whenever it gets too long she just grabs the nearest sharp object and cuts it off in one swoop. Eugene and rapunzel are UTTERLY horrified by this and they do not let that shit fly as soon as she’s living with them. They have little self care nights at least once a week, sometimes just with the three of them and sometimes the rest of the family gets into it too, it depends on the day. eugene helps do her hair for her and they pick out all sorts of fancy products for her skin and her curls and just absolutely SPOIL her. at first shes kinda whiny about it but once she realizes how much better she feels on a day to day basis she reluctantly apologizes for ever doubting them

[blasphemecel]

Matsuoka Rin — Priorities

PAIRING(S): Matsuoka Rin/Reader WORD COUNT: 4.7k TYPE: Light Angst, Making Up, Childhood friends WARNING(S): None I think? But lmk

“C’mon,” you whined, and the sound grated on Rin’s nerves. He’d spaced out and kind of missed out on what you were upset about now, but he’d known you for long enough to find your responses somewhat predictable. It was probably another race you wanted to have, or an arm wrestle, or something along those lines. You even swam with him sometimes, and to his chagrin you were decent at it.

There was a tug on his sleeve. Rin furrowed his eyebrows and frowned when he turned to look at you, only to see an irked expression on your face. “What?”

At his question, you backed away and crossed your arms, smirking before you pointed at a tree far away in the distance. “I said we should race there. You weren’t listening.”

“But we just walked all the way here from there,” he said, annoyed by your illogical whims.

“Oh, are you scared of losing? Are you a lil’ chicken?”

“I’m NOT a chicken!”

“Ok, ok, you don’t need to take it so seriously,” you said, amusement adding a sharp edge to your smile. Then you fidgeted with your pockets and tip-toed around him. “Besides, it could be our last race.”

“Why’s that?”

“I heard what you told those guys from the swim club earlier. That you’re going away to Australia…”

Rin, again, tried to gauge your reaction. Though he’d unfortunately known you since the dawn of time — being neighbors, his mom and your guardians often made it a habit to force you to hang out with him and Gou — and though he had a sixth sense for the words you said, he didn’t know how you felt most of the time. In that moment, you seemed unbothered, like his departure didn’t faze you at all.

“You weren’t going to tell me, right?”

“I so was!”

“Uh-huh.” Clearly, you didn’t believe him. “‘Cause telling people things is totally your style.”

“I’m not that bad,” he insisted with a huff, but before you could rebut his response, Rin turned heel and began sprinting towards the tree. Over his shoulder, he called out, “The loser’s gonna be a lil’ chicken!”

“Hey! CHEATER!”

You bolted after him, but with your late start, you lost. Still, you held your palm against the trunk of the tree and glared at Rin, who was leaning against it with a smug aura surrounding him. He got all up in your face and grinned. “Who’s a lil’ chicken now?!”

“You only won ‘cause you cheated. I demand a recount.”

“I don’t think that word means whatever you think it means.”

“RECOUNT!”

“No! You’re a chicken. Just accept it.”

“… Recount?”

“There’s nothing to count,” he said before he pulled down his eyelid and blew a raspberry at you. Your glare grew more evil.

On your way back, you spent most of your time pushing at each other and continuing your gratuitous argument, and your yelling had startled many bypassers on the street.

You kept track of your competitions, of course, and you were at a draw. That could’ve been enough to salvage your ego in different circumstances, but you thought Rin was the only one who ever won things of consequence between the two of you.

___

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

How’s Gou?

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW BRO I’M IN CLASS RN BRO WHY DON’T U ASK HER BRO SHE'S UR SISTER BRO NOT MINE BRO

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

What’s with you? Are you trying to be hip???

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

NOTHING DID A KOALA SHIT ON UR HEAD YET

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Eww.

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Are you gonna be home for New Year’s?

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

YEAH WHY

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

DUDE ANSWER

___

Deep down, you’d been excited when Rin’s mom called you over since he was visiting for the holidays. Texts between you were sparse and by god he was terrible at replying, though you often returned the favor out of pettiness.

You didn’t have anything in mind for this afternoon and greeted Gou by ruffling her hair as usual, but Rin seemed cross and distant when you first caught a glimpse of him. Apparently your reunion didn’t move him too much.

You trailed behind him to his room where no one else could hear your conversation. “You ok?”

He shrugged and sat down on his old bed. His room was like a relic and as you scanned it, you found that everything was where he left it, or at least the things he didn’t take to Australia. There were some framed photos of you and him strewn about, but the one from the relay seemed to be missing. Something suspiciously bitter settled in your stomach, but you ignored it.

“Did something happen?”

“It’s just… I dunno, do you think swimming’s worth it?”

“Huh? Why not?” you asked, wondering what kind of stupid question that was. “Don’t you literally go to a swimming school now, abroad?”

“This is stupid,” Rin warned, since he knew you’d probably scold him for being a stupid pansy when you heard the rest of his statement. There was a distant sadness you recognized in his expression and that only confused you further while you waited for his explanation. “I keep losing. I don’t have a natural calling for it.”

“You’re comparing yourself to that guy,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him.

Rin blinked. “What guy?” he asked, even though it was obvious you were talking about Haru.

“Uh, what’s his name? Nanase?”

“You don’t understand! It’s not just him.”

“Whatever,” you said with a shake of your head. “Forget I said anything.”

It was unlike you to back down from a disagreement like this, but Rin was glad to leave it. Both of you were too young to understand. Maybe your hesitance to push came because this was much more serious than either of you realized.

___

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Hey Have you seen Haru and the others around? How’re they doing?

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

U CORNY ASS FREAK ASK THEM YOURSELF

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

First of all, shut up, I’m NOT a cornball. Second of all, how am I supposed to ask? I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m on another continent. Tho it wouldn’t surprise me if you somehow missed out on that

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

WHAT, U DON’T EVEN HAVE THEM ON LINE OR SOMETHING? JEEZ MAN

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Yeah, I don’t. Listen I don’t care or anything, I was just a little curious is all.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

COOOOOOOOOORNY FREAK

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Stop saying that

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

CORNY FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

SERIOUSLY I’M SERIOUS.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

IDC I KNOW UR A CORNY FREAK DEEP DOWN

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

I’M BLOCKING YOU

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

U WOULDN’T Message couldn’t be delivered. Tap to try again.

___

Rin scrolled through your messages for the nth time. He probably spent more time doing this — lamenting — than he did responding. When he thought of you, remembered the details of your face, he saw someone fundamentally different from himself. Someone who was self-sufficient.

If you were in his predicament, you wouldn’t sweat it. Loneliness didn’t bother you, and though he never asked, he knew you were doing just fine without him. It was how you were. You brushed off everything with ease, and he recalled the indifference he sensed from you when you first found out he was going away with great distaste.

Stupid you, he thought as he scrunched his nose like the abstract idea of you was now appalling. He swiped back up to the beginning of some dry, mundane conversation he had with you and reread it again.

___

The last few years, for you, had passed by in a blur. Nothing of note ever happened.

As you were a second year, there was nothing special about the first day of school. Actually, you never found the beginning of the school year remarkable, but it seemed even less interesting now that you’d gone through the first rodeo of high school. It signified that your stale vacation days would transition into a different type of monotony and nothing more.

When Gou weaseled her way inside your classroom during recess, you didn’t think much of it. She liked catching up with you from time to time, so her seeking out your presence wasn’t that unusual. You weren’t prepared for her to rub her neck and sheepishly ask, “Sorry to bother you… Has my brother talked to you recently?”

“I think we texted a few weeks back,” you said. “Why are you asking? Something going on?”

She blinked in realization since you seemed none the wiser to his return. “Um, no, I mean… I mean, yeah, he isn’t responding. And I’m a little worried about it. But have you seen him?”

“Uh, last time we saw him was this New Year’s,” you reminded, giving her a weird look. For a second you entertained the idea she was going crazy, but then she graced you with an off-put expression, too.

“Seriously? He didn’t tell you he came back either?” Her tone sounded incredulous when she realized that must be the case, but worry settled in her stomach. Why was her brother acting so strange? He hadn’t informed anyone, even you.

“What? He came back? Like, here in Japan?”

“Yeah! I was worried because I haven’t seen him since he’s going to Samezuka, and he’s not responding to my messages either… So I thought maybe you’d know if he’s doing alright.” There was an exasperated throw of her hands. Following her explanation, Gou frowned. “I guess not.”

Your lips pressed into a straight line while this information registered in your head, eyes absent when you looked away. “Yeah, I guess not.”

___

Rin was different.

You were the same.

That was what he thought when he saw you standing in front of his dorm room with your arms crossed and a smug smile on your face — that even if you looked older, even if your features were sharper and more grown-up, you were the same. Your bravado reminded him of when you’d challenge him to arbitrary contests and how you kept a tally of your wins and losses. He assumed you still did so when you sent him invites to compete in stupid mobile games, too.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked, voice even. Maybe you had come to ask him to race against you again, and to rub it in his face if you won. You won a lot. Too much for someone who didn’t do proper competitive sports.

You kicked yourself off the wall and grinned. “Greetings, asshole.”

“Seriously? No welcome back hug? No ‘I missed you so much’? Just going straight to the name-calling?” Rin asked. He tried to sound humorous when he said it, but it still came out flat, like he wasn’t into it.

“Jerks who ignore their sisters don’t get hugs, no.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, does Gou tattle her troubles to you now? Have I been replaced?”

“You called her a crybaby the last time she whined to you.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

You stared at each other blankly.

“None of this explains why you’re creepily standing in front of my room, waiting to ambush me, though,” he said, after a while of uncomfortable silence.

“Breaking inside indoor pools isn’t really my style,” you said, waving your hands. As much as you tended not to pay attention to anything around you, word had traveled around after Haru, Makoto and Nagisa got scolded for visiting Samezuka late at night. All things considered, what you were doing was not that concerning. Campus security let you in and everything. “Like, I’m not that desperate, you know?”

His expression dimmed at your mention of last night’s incident when he both won and lost against Haru — not that you knew. You pursed your lips when you noticed his shift in demeanor before you continued,

“Besides, is it so wrong to wanna see my good ol’ buddy? Maybe it is, considering you didn’t tell me you were here and all.”

Rin at least had the decency to seem embarrassed, even if he didn’t rush to fall to his knees and grovel for your forgiveness.

“I… was meaning to tell you,” he settled on.

You leaned against the wall again like his answer exhausted you, hands sneaking back inside your pockets. It made him nostalgic to see you do your usual mannerisms, but just about anything made him long for the past those days. Even stupid things like this — like the way you fussed with your clothing.

“You didn’t,” you said.

“I didn’t, but you’re still here.”

There was a hint of displeasure in what he said. Maybe he didn’t like surprises, maybe he just didn’t want to see you. Your lips twitched as if you were about to frown, but the motion was short-lived. You stayed there with your usual stony expression, not amused, but certainly not angry or hurt.

You asked, “Why didn’t you?”

There were many ways to approach this question, so Rin didn’t.

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You wanna go somewhere? Or do you have club activities or something?”

Rin wasn’t surprised to figure out you weren’t in a club. He’d asked a few times over text to distract you from your questions about swimming, but the answer was always no. Not your kind of thing, you’d say. That you weren’t a team player, you’d continue. You didn’t take the areas you were gifted in seriously.

“I’m not in a club either,” he said. “I was just about to sign up, actually.”

“You’re not already in the swimming club? Weird.”

“I wasn’t going to, but, well. Things happen.”

This seemed to confuse you even further, but some sort of recognition flashed across your face. Rin wondered what it was that you realized, but you didn’t comment on it. All you said was, “You better get to it now then, right?”

You raised your hands again in mock surrender and took a step forward like you were about to go. Rin almost gave into the urge to stop you from leaving because he could hang out with you and- and it’d be a good time, probably. Like when you’d come over near New Year’s when he was visiting and play board games with him, or when you were the only one to entertain him in stupid conversations over the phone for around four years. The usual.

He could easily sign up for the swim club tomorrow, but he let his arm flap back to his side. He didn’t want you to think he was pathetic and needy or whatever. And Rin wanted Haru to know he could beat him any day. You’d respect him more if he accomplished that, right? If he showed you he was alright on his own, all this time, then…

His gaze lingered on your retreating figure until you disappeared from sight.

___

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Sorry, things were kinda bad between us last time. I think.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

EHHHH WHATEVER

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

DOES THAT MEAN U’LL STOP IGNORING KOU?

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

I don’t ignore her

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

SHE’S WORRIED ABT U MAN

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Well,

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

?

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Didn’t mean to send that one. I just, you know, she doesn’t HAVE to be worried

___

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

I’ve got a swimming tournament coming up. Wanna swing by?

FROM: (You) TO: RIN

IG

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

What.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

I GUESS* SO UR NOT UNSURE ABT SWIMMING STUFF ANYMORE?

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Well yeah. Didn’t know you remembered that. Anyway it’s not a big deal, I just have a score to settle in the prelims, so I was kind of hoping you’d be there.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

R U DOING THAT RELAY THING?

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

No. Only the freestyle.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

BUT U ALWAYS LIKED THE RELAY THE MOST

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

It’s not really up to me. Are you game or not?

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

HARU AND THEM STARTED A SWIMMING CLUB THIS SCHOOL YEAR IS THIS ABT THAT

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

GOU’S THEIR MANAGER SHE TELLS ME ABT THEM AND THEIR MUSCLES SOMETIMES

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Is she doing alright? They’re not bothering her are they??? The boys in the swimming club

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

OH C'MON THEY’RE UR FRIENDS U KNOW DAMN WELL SHE'S OK AND THAT THEY’RE NOT BOTHERING HER

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

They’re not my friends.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

IF THEY’RE NOT UR FRIENDS HOW COME UR SWIMMING FREESTYLE

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Whatever that’s supposed to mean

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

U KNOW I’M NOT THAT DEMENETED OR IGNORANT NANASE-SAN ALWAYS OBSESSED OVER FREESTYLE SWIMMING. U TOLD ME ABOUT IT THIS IS ABOUT HIM AGAIN ISN’T IT

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

I don’t think you’re demented or ignorant.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

YES U DO

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Listen I asked you a pretty simple question which is do you wanna come watch me at the tournament in two days? If the answer’s no, say no. It’s quite literally THAT easy to answer.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

OH U KNOW I’LL BE THERE STOP BEING EMO AND GIMME THE LOCATION???

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

I’M NOT EMO. Take that back.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

NO :D

___

Your classmates were distracting. You stood upright on the other side of the stadium or… whatever it was, shifting around, adjusting your weight from your left hip to your right and then back to your left. Whispers and chatter got inside one ear and out the other, but you could still hear them, screaming something like ‘Go, Haru!’ or whatever.

However, you were here to watch Rin, not to cheer on your school. Your elbows dug into the railing, your palm imprinted on your cheek as you boredly assessed the scene in front of you. Rin didn’t see you in the crowd, or at least you assumed he didn’t. Couldn’t have — he was focused on Haru, who was next to him.

You wondered if he’d finally be satisfied after this. Probably not.

And Rin was good at swimming. You knew he had his gripes with it even though he never really told you anything of substance about whatever he was going through, but you watched him now, and he had the lead. He was even better than you’d expected. Sometimes he was flimsy when you two were younger, but you could tell that wasn’t the case anymore.

The race didn’t last long at all. It went by so fast, you had to wonder if anyone would ever come watch these for fun.

You saw him mouth something to Haru, then he walked off while the other boy was dazed by his loss. Again, you were confused since you knew Nanase-san didn’t really care about winning, but this was always more than that, wasn’t it?

You closed your eyes and contemplated the matter, then nodded sagely to yourself. Yes, of course, things were never that simple when corny freaks were involved.

Since you didn’t care about any of the Rin-less events, you took your leave and headed for the exit. There was a load of nothing you needed to do until the end of the day, after all.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

CONGRATS WELL DONE

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Thankssssss Are you coming tomorrow too?

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

OH YEA CUZ U ADVANCED

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Did you leave? Nevermind. I’ll be swimming in the relay tomorrow, so wait around to see it.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

YAY.

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

How the hell am I supposed to decipher this message

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

HAPPY FOR YOU.

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Wtf why the sarcastic punctuation

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

NOTHING MAN I’M JUST PLAYING

FROM: Rin TO: (You)

Stop It’s weird that you know what a full stop is.

FROM: (You) TO: Rin

HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT

___

As promised, you occupied the same spot you did the day before, watching. Waiting. Even before the whistle blew to announce the start of the race, you could tell Rin was in a bad mood. What was his deal again? The sigh you let out was almost involuntary.

Though you knew him to be moody, you didn’t think it’d impact his performance. He was dead last and he wasn’t moving in the water like he usually would. A frown pulled at your face, weighing your skin down. It was clear he wouldn’t place in number one, but at least there was still the other thing he told you he’d compete in.

He’d better not have invited you just to embarrass himself. You strolled toward the building where the swimmers headed. Maybe you’d try to talk it out with him? Not that your attempts at conversation ever amounted to much, especially when you tried to be serious.

You snuck your way in and bristled when Rin rammed into you, seemingly in a hurry. You blinked. “Where the hell are you going?”

“None of your business,” he said. Maybe out of habit.

“Huh? You invited me here.”

Rin shook his head, but halted, anyway.

“You’ve gotta do the relay,” you added. “Seriously, where are you going?”

His eyes went watery at your remark and you looked at him like he grew a second head. He was acting way more emotional than usual, and you didn’t get it at all.

You spoke again. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“You won against Nanase-san yesterday,” you said.

He crossed his arms, but you could tell he was growing irritated with you. Or maybe it’d been stirring for a while, and now it boiled over. “Why does everything have to be about him?”

You glared at him. Okay, perhaps you were a little pissed at him, too. “I don’t know, you tell me. You’re-”

“I’m not his friend,” he insisted, knowing what you were about to say. “That was in the past.”

“Literally why are you doing this?”

“I don’t need anyone. I don’t need you. Just leave!”

“You asked me to stay yesterday! Hypocritical idiot.”

To prove your point, you pulled your phone out of your pocket to show him exactly what he had said, but Rin only groaned and gestured at you to stop, that there was no need to, his hands around yours. There was that aloof sadness in his expression again, but he quickly masked it with anger. “You don’t even like me. Why are you even here? Why do we still talk to each other?”

You pulled away from him, staring incredulously after the nonsense he’d just said. “What?”

“You don’t like anyone,” Rin said, pointing an accusatory finger in your face. He was scowling. You hadn’t really seen him act like this before Australia. Had he snapped at anyone else ever since he came back? “You don’t- need anyone. And I don’t…”

“Oh, shut up,” you said, raising your tone to match this. “Just shut up! You have so many friends who still care about you even though you’ve been acting like a tool lately.”

“Do you care?” Rin snapped.

It was like you were seeing him for the first time. Like the answer to that question was pertinent, some conviction lied underneath his aggression, but you didn’t question why that might be. Instead, you were offended.

You laughed. “Do I care? Do I care? I’m not always watching you chase after anyone else who isn’t me for you to ask me that.”

“I don’t chase-”

“Yeah, you don’t chase people, blah blah.”

“Be careful wording things like that,” he said, and out of nowhere, he tried to be playful. Rin was backtracking — you seemed angry with him now, which he hadn’t considered you might be when he first took to yelling at you. It was stupid, but he’d never managed to get under your skin before. Still, it wasn’t like you’d ever had such a huge fight before, either. “I might think you’re jealous.”

Your face went slack the way it tended to do. “You know what? Maybe I’m jealous.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“‘Cause you have all these friends, and all you care about is… insisting they’re not your friends? Or something? What’s your damage, man? I don’t have any other friends, just you. I admit it, I’m a loser. Ok? Yeah, I’m jealous of you. And I’m jealous Nanase-san’s always on your mind instead of me.”

You pushed him away with as much strength as you could muster. Rin’s mouth opened and you wondered if he was about to argue with you further or what. What more he had to say, you weren’t sure, but you didn’t stay around to hear it — just ran off, back to the stands.

The relay was last. You’d wasted a lot of time bad mouthing each other in the corridors, and you couldn’t believe you admitted to all that, but anyhow it wasn’t a while of waiting for it to come.

Deep down, you were a corny freak all along. The realization embarrassed you. You thought about leaving, about not watching, but didn’t have it in you. Truly, you were turning into somebody you didn’t recognize.

Rin was easy to pick out in a crowd. For you, anyway. So you had no idea what the hell he was doing in the same row as your classmates instead of the guys from his school. It seemed he was swimming in place of the nerdy one, and for a moment, he scanned the crowd until he saw you.

Were you the problem? His problem? He was smiling and laughing with Nanase-san and the others, but the moment your eyes met each other, he turned crestfallen again.

Your shoulders slumped.

And he was happy to swim with them again, as you thought he’d be. Seeing him like this reminded you of how he used to act before Australia.

And you’d never had that effect on him.

You didn’t care if they’d finish first or last or in the mediocre middle, you decided, as you left after all.

___

Sprawled over your couch, you fed yourself grapes and imagined yourself as some kind of ancient royalty, beloved by many subjects.

Were you in a crisis? You’d heard people did strange things when they were going through a midlife crisis, but you preferred to believe you weren’t middle-aged yet.

There was a knock on the door. You rose from your seat and slouched forward to look through the peephole in case it was a kidnapper, or worse, a salesperson, only to see Rin in front of you. With a practiced neutrality — what were the chances he’d forgotten those humiliating things you spewed at him? — you opened and leaned against the doorframe like a greaser from a shitty movie.

“‘Sup?”

“I’m such an asshole,” he blurted out.

You weren’t expecting that. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I just- This is so stupid. You’re always so… naturally tough, I guess, and sometimes I wanted to carry myself more like you. Especially since I was so lonely in Australia, and I thought you’d never let that get to you, and- I never even thought I could hurt your feelings and- I don’t know- I’m sorry. Maybe I was jealous of you, too.”

“Of course I’m not above getting in my feelings,” you said. “I’m not a robot.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he told you for the third time.

You looked to the side. “I didn’t mean to make it look like I don’t care about you, either.”

Should you let him inside? Did he even want to hang out with you now that you’ve both said your apologies? Or would that be too awkward? Or was the fact you were leaving him on your doorstep to stand there like a dirty unwanted dog the uncomfortable part?

As you pondered all these pressing topics, Rin reached out for you, reluctant. You wondered what he was doing until he wrapped his hesitant arms around you in an embrace. Your face twisted in a grimace like hugging was some alien gesture you didn’t understand the meaning of.

When you got used to it, you returned the gesture stiffly and patted him on the back with one of your hands.

It felt kind of nice, actually.

[feyd-meowtha]

Hi hopr you don't mind me just busting in with zero small talk, but Please can you throw me all your Feyd-Rautha headcanons, I need juice for my Feydpaul fixation ❤❤❤ (also Hi! nice to uhh know you sorry for the awkwardness i developed as a lonely child in school)

I do not mind in the slightest! Hello! I've never been much for small talk anyway so this suits me just fine.

This is actually a little difficult for me because while I obviously do form headcanons, I write fic after all, i'm not very good at conjuring them up out of context. However I will do my best to supply you with what you need. These are mostly based on the book but a little influenced by the various adaptations and defo by that one Moebius illustration (you know the one).

Here we go!

He was born on Lankiveil and only briefly lived with his brother before he left to go to Geidi Prime.

He had a happy childhood with his parents who loved him a great deal

Their house on Lankiveil was big enough but not as large as you would expect from his father's status of count. They didn't have servants and took care of the place on their own at the request of his mother Emmi who was a Lankiveil native and found it ridiculous that the high born didn't do anything for themselves.

His mother wasn't a Bene Gesserit herself but did have some connection to the order, maybe through the other female members of her family who kept an eye on Feyd and fed back to the missionaria

Abulard (his father) was blonde so Feyd got his dark (i hc aubern) curly hair from his mother. He also has her eyes.

His mother/father liked to play music and they had musical instruments in the home when he was young. He loved to sit and listen to them, but he hasn't touched an instrument since he was brought to Geidi Prime.

He was taken by his uncle when he was quite young (between 8 and 12) and either his mother was killed at his uncle's orders (and abulard killed by rabban) when this happened OR he was taken away and Emmi kept imprisoned, then either through manipulation or force his uncle made him kill her at a later time. I am staunchly anti the idea that he killed her of his own volition.

He was popular with the court though always treated with some suspicion as both an off-worlder

The Harkonnens in my 'standard' hc are much more in line with the book and sci-fi channel presentations where there is a certain touch of campiness to them and Feyd thusly dresses pretty effeminately and has long hair p similar to the Moebius drawing. (The Harkonnens in APTIUT are p different to this of course)

The Harkonnens speak Galach but most people on Geidi Prime speak Geidi which is relatively close to Lenkiveili which is Feyd's first language. AS a result he speaks very good Geidi, unlike his uncle and brother who barely speak any, seeing it as common and beneath them to learn the language of their people.

I think that his capacity for casual cruelty is something that he learned while on Geidi Prime and not something innate or that he grew up with. As far as he sees it, this is the only way to survive and those who oppose him deserve what they get. He has a very 'me against the world' attitude thanks to the deaths of his parents and everything he's lost. He is suspicious of everyone and makes a point of not getting close to people for fear of getting hurt.

related to that, contrary to what the recent films said, he has no interest in honour and is totally happy to lie, cheat and swindle his way into what he wants. He is a cheater through and through and not afraid to admit it. As he sees it, is his opponent is stupid enough not to cheat too, then they deserve to lose.

He is very particular about his diet and training regimen, partially because once he got old enough they became a few of the things in his life that he could actually control. He is paranoid about his figure thanks to a fear of becoming greedy and fat like his uncle, who he detests. As a result of this some of this his eating is rigid almost to the point of being disordered.

He is equally particular about his physical appearance, knowing that his looks are one of his greatest weapons and liking how they set him apart from his brother and uncle.

Where he is a little more indulgent is in alcohol and drugs which are plentiful on Geidi Prime and which he uses as an escape from the worst parts of his life.

I also am anti the 'kills people at random' aspect of the movie portrayal. I think that while he gets off on violence, he would see that kind of behaviour as stupid and indulgent. He intends to position himself as the 'better harkonnen' to the landsraad and people so that random violence wouldn't fit with his plans at all.

he has been very interested in Paul and all of the Atreides since he first heard about it and listened to all stories of him that he could find with keen interest.

He loves games, especially those that involve an element of bluffing.

He likes to gamble.

Ok I think i'm gonna call it a day there, I hope that's okay and you enjoyed my very disorganised mess of thoughts!

Thanks so much for stopping by <3

[papermint-airplane]

OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @stargazer-sims, @drawing-way-outside-the-lines, @bool-prop, and @happy-lemon. Hehehehehe now I get to do more than one! 😈

Aiden Ayy 👽

Name: Aiden Ayy

Nickname: He was definitely that kid who tried to nickname himself and then got frustrated when nothing stuck. Despite his best childhood efforts, Aiden has no nicknames. 😭

Gender: Male

Star sign: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'8"

Orientation: Pansexual

Nationality/Ethnicity: 100% Sixamite

Favorite Fruit: On Earth, pineapple. On Sixam, grarglefroot. It's basically a pineapple except blue.

Favorite Season: Spring.

Favorite Flower: I think I answered this before in a different post with some wild ass flower that looks like it belongs on an alien planet which is great worldbuilding and all but I literally forgot what it was so let's go with basic bitch roses. 😅

Favorite Scent: Cinnamon.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Aiden is up for any of these as long as they're spiked. He hasn't yet learned that not everyone does that all the time and that it makes you look like you have a problem if you do.

Average Hours of Sleep: Aiden doesn't actually need sleep! He meditates to restore his brain power but sleep isn't necessary for him. He's a lot like D&D elves in that way. He can choose to sleep if he wants to, though, because dreams are fun and he looks cute when he's eepy. 🥺

Dogs or Cats: Yes. Any animal at all, really. Aiden is fascinated with them.

Dream Trip: Sixam. Poor baby wants to go home. 😭

Number of Blankets: "I'm worried what you just heard was 'give me a lot of blankets'. What I said was 'give me all the blankets you have.' Do you understand?"

Random Fact: Aiden is based on a Sim I created in the Sims 2 when I was 18 for a Bachelorette Challenge. It was, predictably, a disaster, and the poor baby kept having mental breakdowns. I decided it was because he was new to Earth and the stress of all the unfamiliarity wore heavily on him, but it was definitely because I didn't know how to cheat needs at the time. He got a visit from the invisible psychiatrist more than once, you know? It became a character trait! Aiden, the nervous alien who just wants love. 👽💚

Roman Gallan 🧜‍♂️

Name: Roman Gallan

Nickname: "Hey Asshole". Guess who gave him that one. Go on, guess. (It was his little sister)

Gender: Male

Star sign: Leo ♌

Height: 5'11"

Orientation: Gay

Nationality/Ethnicity: Icthyan

Favorite Fruit: He's super fond of this obscure Earth fruit called a "lemon". He eats them whole, peel and all. Somebody please teach him not to do this. 😐

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Flower: Any and all wildflowers.

Favorite Scent: Cedar. Beating the moth accusations for sure.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee. He likes it bitter and strong enough to crawl out of the cup under its own power.

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 or 6. He should probably sleep more but it's kind of hard when the distorted whispers of the primordial god that created your planet are emanating from your eye sockets. Most Icthyans learn to accept it as kind of a cursed ASMR, but Roman tends to sleep light anyway.

Dogs or Cats: Cats.

Dream Trip: It says here in my notes that he's always wanted to visit Uranu--ROMAN, SERIOUSLY?!

Number of Blankets: Roman's a hot sleeper, so no blankets for him, thanks.

Random Fact: Like all Icthyans, Roman is amphibious. He has lungs and can breathe on dry land like any Earth Sim, but he's also able to breathe underwater for an extended period of time.

I think everybody and their dog has done this one by now considering ol' Professional Crastinator Laura's stellar time management skills. 🙄 Let's throw a few names out, though. @miss-may-i, @treason-and-plot, @llamabees, @bellakenobi, @kimmiessimmies, @rebelangelsims, @moyokeansimblr, @id-element0. As always, ignore if you've already done it or just don't want to.

[ckret2]

Now I'm curious about Bill's family. Can you share what they were like?

Now, I haven't fully fleshed out his family, so the details are subject to change. I haven't even decided on what shape his dad was.

(A purely Flatland backstory would be like, oh, probably a nearly-equilateral isosceles triangle unless something weird happened; but Flatland was written as a satire of Victorian society and the Victorian class system, and I'm not interested in satirizing Victorian society. So I've yet to decide what sort of shape descent rules make the most sense for the kind of story I'm telling here. Maybe I'll like, make his dad a rhombus, Say Nothing, and watch the people who read Flatland riot in the comments.)

But for right now, unless my thoughts change as I go, his parents are kinda like,

Bill: *meets Stan & Ford's mom* "Oh that's hauntingly familiar."

Bill: *meets Gideon's dad* "Oh THAT'S hauntingly familiar."

Meet itty bitty baby Billy. 

(this is the post i made this picture for. Isn't he cute.)

Bill was born with what could loosely be called "psychic powers" and more specifically be called "the ability to see into the third dimension." Saying "Bill can see into the third dimension" is kind of like saying "this human can see into the fourth dimension" when you mean "this human can constantly see what's gonna happen thirty seconds into the future like a blurry image superimposed over the present." Constantly seeing thirty seconds into the future would be useful for avoiding car crashes or cheating at roulettes, but there's nothing particularly mystical about it. That's equivalent to the level Bill's ability was on. Especially since, in Bill's dimension, the power to see into the third dimension was an extremely rare but known and scientifically-documented ability, not mysterious magic.

However, when Bill started saying stuff like "The neighbor is coming over to visit, I can see her through the door" or "Yeah I can guess what's on your card, it's two red dots, I can just see the back of it from here, can't you see it too?" or "there's a bunch of white dots outside the world and a really big white circle that moves back and forth and I think the circle controls light"—

His parents went, "You Could Make A Religion Out Of That."

And that's how Bill got a cult.

I haven't done much to flesh out Bill's parents in terms of their looks personalities interests etc (though his mother is more developed), but I've got a pretty firm idea of the impact they had on him. In a way he didn't have "parents"—they did a pretty poor job of parenting—rather, he had business managers posing as his prophets. For putting together his childhood, I'm drawing on histories of cults, but also on other industries that are dependent upon exploiting children by putting them in the limelight—like beauty pageant children or kidfluencers put online by their parents. Things like this article with a kid who said she wants to stop making youtube videos and her father told her that was their livelihood.

So here's Bill growing up being told "you're special, you're SO special" by his parents; but also he's just the performing figurehead of his parents' new religion; but also he's so powerful and so influential; but also he's just a kid completely under his family's control; but also his family's prosperity and welfare is completely on his shoulders; but also nothing he says really matters and they could replace him with anybody who could say the same things; but also he's totally unique (and thus alienated); but also there are other people out there just like him (and they're dangerous to his position); but also he has the perfect platform to tell the world about the truth as he sees it; but also people only listen to him when he lies; but also everyone worships everything he says as gospel; but also the whole world knows he's a scammer and a joke.

And now he's a messed up adult who still acts like a kid (you can't grow up if you never get a childhood); and he makes new friends and helpers by bombarding them with textbook cult recruitment tactics; and he's more comfortable with waltzing into town square and appointing himself God than he is with talking honestly about his childhood.

Also between then and now he ended the world.

I see Bill as an only child, for a couple of reasons:

First, because of this in Journal 3: "Apparently, his thirst for power caused him to destroy his home dimension — including his parents and everyone else he’d ever known." If he did have siblings—or if we were even intended to feel like the possibility was open that he might have a sibling—it would be weird to emphasize "his parents" instead of something like "his family." The implications feel like we're supposed to believe his parents were the only immediate family he had. (And, since Journal 3 was kinda the last gift from a completed series, I'm doubting the wording was a red herring to obscure the fact that he's got a secret identical twin or something. ... Wouldn't that be so funny though—)

And second, because he seems like the kind of person who wasn't shoved in close quarters with another child and forced to learn how to get along. He was always the specialest boy and never had to share the spotlight.

The only reason I think I'd give him a sibling is if I found it was somehow essential to help develop/highlight some facet of Bill's character—like, if I wanted to do something with the "golden child vs forgotten child" dynamic to mirror what the Pines have going on, or have him underestimate the relationships between human siblings because he's projecting based on how he grew up. ("You probably think your brother is some burden you're shackled to by blood, like a non-consensual forced 'friendship' you wish you could break off!" "Um, no? I don't think that? I love him?" "Because you were coerced into loving him." "No???") But right now my goals for him are complimented more by the social isolation from being the only child in the household and limited opportunities to make friends on the outside.

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY SEVENTY-FOUR

Despite having a wide range in music taste, there's only a handful of bands that have really stuck with me through the years, getting me through the bad and helping me celebrate the good.

My top three of this handful are Nine Inch Nails, Tool, and Type O Negative.

A couple of days ago, I came across a comment section discussing Peter Steele's death. Something that was said, that was agreed with and emphasized on by multiple people, has been bothering me to my core since I read it.

Many people feel that Peter Steele would still be alive today had he "been with someone who gave a shit."

We might still have him around today "if he had someone who cared enough to get him to the hospital on time."

My heart sank and my stomach dropped after reading this. I immediately logged off. That didn't sit well with me at all.

I then tried looking it up. I felt discouraged and silly, giving up rather quickly. I thought I didn't know how or what, in specific, to search for anyway. I also thought there's a chance that it might not be true, that it's just talk, rumors, that kind of thing.

"Maybe people were just saying that because they don't like her. I have no clue!" Now I'm starting to question myself. I log back on to look for the comment section but everything refreshed and I didn't catch the name of the page that made the post.

True or untrue, the thought alone really fuckin disturbed me. I mean, it really did. He deserved someone to care for who he was outside of the celebrity. I hope to the Gods that those comments weren't true.

Peter Steele, aside from "musical genius" and "one of the most influential," was described to be kind, generous, helpful, supportive, inventive, and a hard worker.

When I'd see interviews with him on TV back in the day, and seeing interviews today when venturing around on YouTube, I found him to be very interesting, intelligent, and insightful. His dark humor was always fun too. And, of course, he was drop dead gorgeous. 🥰😌 The man was a living god, just saying.

Needless to mention the passion in the music he wrote and in the performances he gave (thank you TV and YouTube for letting me experience that by the way, I never got to see Type O Negative live).

He believed showing the world his heart would draw people to the band, and he was right. He said he wanted to be remembered as someone who helped people through hard times, and he is. It makes me sad to know he was sobered up, excited to make more music, and hopeful for the future just before his passing. Gut-wrenching when you think about it, and when you think about all the things he went through before that as well.

Being misunderstood, struggling with addiction, and the mental health issues involving Bipolar disorder, grief, depression, dealing with the aftermath of lockup, and feeling betrayed by his family. He also said himself he had huge problems with abandonment and loss, probably because he experienced those things more than we know.

In addition, being unlucky in love still blows my mind to this day. Especially knowing how he was worshipped by women all over this country, including me. How many of us out here would've worshipped the ground he walked on? And you mean to tell me some of the women that actually had a chance, screwed it up? Considering things like taking the breakups hard and being cheated on, he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, wasn't he? Some souls are just too good for this world, I swear. And his was one of them.

But that's what terrifies me... He was unlucky in love, so what if the comments are true? Literally makes me sick to think about, especially since the band, his childhood friends, tried to reach out to him when he was sick but was only able to speak with her. There's a dark aura all over that.

Someone please tell me it's a rumor, that he had a good woman at his side in those final days. Hearing about toxic exes shows where a person was lost and hurting, and he deserved better. He deserved peace and quiet and comfort. He deserved protection.

Men like this, regardless of how big and tall and strong they are, need to be protected. Their bodies are hard but their hearts are fragile. People that are kind-hearted will often suffer the most in life. The way he loved his women and the way he loved his animals showed he felt everything so, so deeply. He needed to be protected. Yes, men are biologically stronger than we women are, but they need us to protect them too, just in a different way.

My guess is that Peter's spirit is still with us, silently urging us all to never forget about Type O Negative. And we never will. RIP 💔

More thoughts later.

[topgun-imagines]

What Are Friends For?

Requested: yes

Summary: Your best friend knows that something is wrong with you. When she finds you on the pier, you finally tell her why.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: Heavy drinking, mentions of cheating.

Pairings: Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace x BestFriend!reader

Phoenix watched as you downed your seventh shot of the night. As soon as you walked into the building, you headed straight for the bar. The rest of the daggers would glance at you occasionally, But Phoenix couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of you. Even from across the bar, she could see the way your hollow eyes started at the bar top in front of you. She sighed as she watched you order another shot. At this point, she was pretty sure that Penny was about to cut you off.

The pilot continued to watch you, her beer long forgotten in her hands. A few seconds later she watched you down another shot. Before you could even try to order anything else, Penny brought the bill over. You offered the older woman an empty smile as you pulled your card from your wallet. Penny stared after you with a sympathetic look as you made your way out of the bar.

Allowing her eyes to trail after you, Phoenix watched as you headed over to the short pier a little further down the beach. She stared after you as you watched the waves crash against the shore.

The WSO sitting beside her instantly noticed the way his pilot was watching you. Bob had speculated for a while that Phoenix’s feelings for you were more than just friendly. There was a small, knowing smile on his face as he nudged her side. She turned her head so fast he was sure she almost got whiplash. Phoenix stared at him with a confused expression, pretending that she hadn’t just been watching you walk down the beach. “Go to her,” Bob spoke quietly. He really didn’t want to draw any extra attention to the situation. Before she could begin shaking her head, ready to refuse, Bob set his hand on her arm. “Just go.” He murmured.

With a sigh, phoenix finished off her now-warm beer and stood from her seat. After throwing a thankful glance at Bob, she headed toward the back doors of the bar. The warm hair hit her as soon as she stepped out of the air-conditioned bar.

You were always ahead on the beach, meaning that she had to jog to catch up to you. When she saw you turn onto the short pier, she slowed down slightly. Phoenix watched as you made your way down the pier and ran your hand along the edge. She stepped up onto the worn wood and began slowly walking closer to you. By the time Phoenix was only a few feet away from you, you took a seat on the small bench by the very end. It looked over the end of the pier so that people were able to see the waves and the sunset in the distance. Tonight the sky was a beautiful shade of purple. The sun looked as if it was red, reflecting off of the sea to seem pink.

Natasha stepped up right behind you, eyes watching the beams of light glimmer off the water. “It’s nice, isn’t it?’ You spoke suddenly, causing her eyes to snap down to you. You scooted over, patting the open space next to you. Phoenix sat down, eyes fixed on the side of your face.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” You laughed quietly, a small smile gracing your lips. Of course she could tell that something was wrong. You sucked in a breath before you began picking at your nails. The next thing you knew, her hand was on your thigh, causing you to freeze.

You focused on the sound of waves crashing against the shore. “You know that long-distance boyfriend I had? And that friend from home?” The words were quiet, so quiet that Natasha had to strain to hear them. Still, she heard them all the same. A while ago, the Dagger Squad had been sharing stories from their childhood when your boyfriend and your best friend came up. Phoenix distinctly recalled a few nights ago when you shared some of your doubts with her. Your boyfriend had been growing distant in the past few weeks, so distant that you began to question if there was something else going on. “Well, it turns out that they’ve gotten pretty close since I’ve been away.” There was a bitter tone in your voice as you stared at the view in front of you.

Phoenix had a feeling that she knew where this story was going. “Another friend of mine called me this morning. I guess they’ve been sleeping together for some time now,” You nodded lightly with a blank stare. “And on top of it all, they won't stop blowing up my phone.” As if on cue, your phone chimed in your pocket. It was no doubt a message from either your traitorous best friend or your now ex-boyfriend that could keep it in his pants.

The pilot sighed and squeezed your thigh, offering you a tiny bit of comfort. You laughed humorlessly as tears welled in your eyes. You had spent the last 4 and a half years of your life with that man, and he couldn’t even wait a few weeks until you were home. To say you were having a hard time coping would be the understatement of the century.

As the tears welled in your eyes and began to slowly drip down your cheeks, Phoenix pulled back to open her arm. You sniffled quietly and gave her a watery smile before you collapsed into her arms. Natasha cooed softly and moved her hand up and down your back in soothing motions. Eventually, your tears had soaked through her shirt, creating a damp spot on the khaki fabric. Her chin rested on the top of your head, rocking the two of you back and forth gently.

“I think,” She started quietly, lips brushing against the crown of your head. “That there’s a tub of ice cream in my freezer and a take-out menu with our names on it,” You pulled back and stared at her with wide eyes. A smile slowly grew on your face as you tried to dry your eyes.

When you pulled back, you immediately noticed the wet spot on her shirt. Before you could even try and apologize for it Phoenix beat you to it. “It’s okay,” She murmured. Next thing you knew she was brushing a tear off your cheek. Your breath caught in your through as you stared into her brown eyes. She smiled warmly, pulling you out of your daydream. You really did get lost in her eyes. “C’mon,” She whispered, getting up from the bench and pulling you along with her. “Let’s get going.” You followed after her with a grin, all thoughts of your ex and your supposed friend leaving your mind as you walked with Phoenix off the pier.

Back in the bar, Bob was watching as you and Phoenix made your way to her car hand in hand. He smiled at the sight, taking another sip of his lemon water as he resumed his conversation with Hangman. The WSO looked forward to hearing what Phoenix had to say in the morning.

A/n: Thank you all for reading! Requests are open.

Tagging: @t0kyoreveng3rs

Join the Tag-list!

[insanefan]

Bg3 Backstory Bash

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash Original post by @kelandrin ✨

Can't believe I didn't do this loooong since but here we go! A quick lil background on Val'dran. I guess it's kiiiinda a little bit cheating since he existed a couple years before bg3 did but hey most of my info on him is hidden away 😂

Val'dran Auvryndar

Drow - Assassin Rogue - Neutral - 160 yrs

Baby:

Parents

Mother: Au’varaya Auvryndar

A matron mother of House Auvryndar, Au’varaya fits well with the cruel and manipulative society of Menzoberranzan. Always with a smile on her lips and cold eyes, she is willing to do just about anything to raise the status of her minor noble House. Strength, beauty and magic draws her attention swiftly, and she does not shy away from unusual experiments when it comes to strengthening her home and family. In the same vein, there is nothing she abhors more than perceived weakness. 

Father: Morziir 

A half-demon born of the union between a shadow demon and a previous matron mother of House Auvryndar, Morziir gained just about none of the boons hoped of him. Body a twisted and ugly thing and magic non-existent, he only survived through a supremely cruel and clever mind, making himself useful enough not to simply kill off. Attempts were made to see whether diluting the demon blood would work better, but with one daughter seemingly only drow beyond an affinity for shadow, and a shy little son seemingly even without that… Morziir’s usefulness ended. So did his life, soon after; taken at the end of a blade wielded by his then twelve-year-old son. 

Birth

Val’dran was born 10th of Kythorn, 1332. Labour was swift, even unremarkable. Displeased already to find the child a son, Au’varaya was even less pleased to find said son a small and quiet babe. She named him Val’dran, nevertheless; “dancing voice in the darkness”. A weak body need not mean a weak child, after all. The name was as much a hope as an order; to become something mean and clever like a shadow demon. 

First word

Val’dran’s first word was “sister”, clear, if quiet. His sister Iz’illyss was little pleased, having attempted to train him into first uttering the word “matron”. She ordered him not to speak until he had learnt it.

When they first walked

To much annoyance, Val’dran first started walking at about thirteen months of age. This was deemed late, and with his quiet nature, saw him being scrutinised for a weak mind, though he walked quite well once he first rose to his feet. 

Tantrum

He had no tantrums as a babe, remaining quiet and watchful, if not even at times a bit fearful.

First sickness

His first sickness came as a result of his first poisoning – the smallest portion of poison added to his meal to start resistance training as soon as possible. 

Childhood:

Friends

Val’dran had no true friends in his childhood. He was kept within the house, seeing only his sisters, a few times his brother, and on some minor occasions, soldiers from the house. His sister Iz’illyss was his closest companion by virtue of being the one to raise him. That did not mean their relation was a close one.

Siblings

Val’dran has three siblings (that he’s aware of). His eldest sister Dellyn’hea, his elder brother the elderboy Haskin, and his sister Iz’illyss. He shares a father with Iz’illyss only, and the two of them look quite alike, though it is regardless visible that all four are siblings, and that all four belong to Au’varaya. Dellyn’hea has never liked him, Haskin mostly ignored him unless required otherwise, and Iz’illyss has resented setting her own life on pause to raise him. All three have also had a habit from childhood on to pull him around by his hair if displeased with him – or simply for fun.

Getting into trouble

Val’dran was deadly afraid of getting into genuine trouble, considering how the smallest of things could gain him harsh words or a smack. 

Birthday

Val’dran is unaware of his exact birthday, and it was not celebrated. Still to this day he only knows himself to be born ‘in summer’. 

Games

There were two games Val’dran mainly kept on with; miniature warfare with little drow figures, and hide-and-hunt. The former an exercise in tactical thinking, the latter in stealth and investigation. 

Learning something new

Despite fearing punishment for doing or saying anything wrong, Val’dran has always been deeply curious. It was perhaps one of the few areas where Iz’illyss actually offered approval, in seeing how swiftly he could understand and assimilate new knowledge. Of course, that curiosity was often enough stifled as well; some information was only to be known not to be questioned. 

Trauma

When Val’dran was about twelve, Au’varaya was tired and done with reports from Iz’illyss on how meek and quiet her littlest brother was, no sign of demonic heritage at all. She decided a lesson was in order; for the boy, and for his father. If Morziir was not to be useful in life, he would be useful in death, and so a sacrificial ritual was set up. Val’dran, trembling, frightened, confused, was given the sacrificial blade and told to kill the half-demon. What could he do but what he was told? The blade slid through skin and flesh, red stained his hands, and he received from his mother the only sign of approval he ever gained from her; a simple nod. 

Youth: 

First love

What is love but a danger and a tool? Wary of the entire concept, and unable to understand its essence, Val’dran had no first love in his youth, indeed growing well beyond it before gaining his first, confusing crush. On his superior, no less, for the simple reason of being treated with patience, almost kindness.

Rebellion

At one point, thoroughly fed up with being pulled around by his hair, Val’dran sheared off all his tresses, leaving him with hair short enough to offer no grip at all. Considering the culture around hair in the House, indeed even the society,  it was not well received. Even so, he kept it short if in varying styles for over a century after.

Peer pressure

Is it peer pressure when your entire society is performing it? Val’dran, always quiet, always ‘weak’, always chose to bend rather than to break. Pressure from his House, pressure from classmates and masters at Melee-Magthere, pressure from every corner to be a good drow soldier, to believe in Lolth, to hate the surface and its people…

Better bend than break, but how does one ever know what is one’s real opinion when it ever changes to fit someone else’s need? 

Growing pains

Though few growing pains in the physical department, there certainly wasn’t a lack of growing pains when it comes to growing into his own community. In matter of fact, as he grew, Val’dran felt more and more alienated from what he should be wanting to be. Not that he knew what else he should want either.

Taking responsibility

Taking responsibility for something is to admit to it, and to admit to something, good or bad, can only have consequences. Quiet Val’dran knew stealth and manipulation as survival, meaning that the concept of taking responsibility was hardly a positive thing… if not even outright negative. 

Adulthood:

Their “first time”

Val’dran came to realise he wouldn’t survive his schooling at Melee-Magthere, simply because sooner or later, one of his classmates would kill him to have him out of the way. The solution he found to this was in a way simple: He sought protection from older students. Having nothing to pay with, his body sufficed. The first time was with a male named Gelhin, older by some years, and his protector for two years after. Gelhin was… almost kind. 

Leaving home

It didn’t take many years after returning from schooling for Val’dran to have enough of House Auvryndar. No better as an adult than as a child, he couldn’t find a comfortable place for himself, and then came… an incident. An assassination attempt foiled by the unexpected emergence of the demonic heritage thought nonexistent. The unassuming drow turned ever so briefly into something closer to shadow demon than to drow – and his sister Dellyn’hea observed it happen. 

Au’varaya was overjoyed. Val’dran, despairing. Because to his mother, a violent and cruel demon to set upon enemies was by far more valuable than a reluctant drow son. Using magic upon him, she forced him into that demonic form, driving him mad with bloodlust and then setting him upon some rivals. He came to, absolutely covered in blood. Horrified. Frightened. Knowing it would happen again, that his purpose now was that of a weapon.

There was no other choice for him but to defect, to flee. 

Work

After fleeing his House, Val’dran spent some time doing simple mercenary work on the street, with various results. In his sixties, however, luck shone on him, and he was recruited by the notorious yet secretive Bregan D’aerthe. Cautious to start with, Val’dran then grew desperate to prove his worth, something followed by incredulous relief upon finding himself promoted to a more specific role than that of a simple grunt. As the years passed, the relief turned to contentment, to deep loyalty. Perhaps an odd thing, to be loyal to an organisation where people are known to die at the drop of a hat, and yet. 

Finding your place

Through Bregan D’aerthe, Val’dran finally found a place for himself. As a spy and saboteur, he felt by far more useful than in his previous roles of soldier and weapon. It suited his quiet nature, his curiosity. Somehow even more so as Bregan D’aerthe truly began to expand to the surface, that hated, terrible place that… turned out to be intriguing. 

Val’dran still enjoyed the Underdark. Menzoberranzan less so, perhaps, but the Underdark was after all vast. And yet, seemingly even more vast was the world above. Being sent to work there was at first an uneasy chore, then a curiosity, then even a preference. That is not to say Val’dran is only ever on the surface. Still it varies greatly. But through Bregan D’aerthe he has places both physical and immaterial where he feels in a sense as if he belongs. 

Serious relationships

Relationships have remained scarce. Through Bregan D’aerthe, Val’dran has gained some friends, in particular the scout Braelin Ragarin who has grown to be something of a best friend (with benefits at that), and on the surface he has gained more acquaintances of various nature. 

When it comes to romance, however, it is only extremely newly that Val’dran has found himself caught up not only in one but two new relationships. Having first met Halsin Silverbough and travelling with him over time, he found himself growing quite fond of the elf’s company; no less so on being propositioned. Secondly, an odd situationship with Sorn Orlith at the Sharess’ Caress has spiralled its way into being something of a proper relationship as well. With all involved being polyamorous, it works out quite well indeed. 

Starting a family/found family

When it comes to family, Val’dran’s concept of the word is intrinsically tied to his drow House. He’s also entirely uninterested in children, something that is perhaps somewhat at odds with Halsin’s orphanage-ful of them. In truth, it works fine; Val’dran still remains on the move after the adventure in and around Baldur’s Gate, visiting his two lovers on occasion every few months or so. He can live with the presence of children for a week or two before heading back out.

In the end, no one knows how long these relationships will last. Val’dran is mostly simply content to have them at all, and intends to enjoy them for however long he has them.

[ryokaidesu]

★ Василий / 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 ★

★ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: https://the-coldest-goodbye.tumblr.com/sfw-template ★

★ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: /// ★

★ Василий = 𝐕𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐯𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐨 ★

★ 𝐒/𝐎 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫. ★

★ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟏𝟐𝟗𝟐 ★

A = Affection

★ Василий is the one that likes bringing flowers or drawing something for His S/o, but He himself does not like receiving gifts. And despite being somewhat awkward, shy and less affectionate in public, Василий is not scared of holding hands or exchanging a kiss or two. When it comes to making out or other things, He rather leaves it for private settings.

B = Best Friend

★ Василий does not have many friends, but the close bond of friendships keeps His spirit high. Along with His friends, He and His comrades like to drink or enjoy the typical slavic meetings – food, music and great atmosphere. He’s that type of friend that helps in need.

C = Cuddles

★ Василий and the most that could be considered as cuddling is Him laying in His S/o’s lap under a tree, embracing each other in a hug inside own household or His hair being caressed. He also likes that His S/o uses His shoulder as all–possible pillow in need. Maybe during camping or trip.

D = Domestic

★ Василий is a family man, but would never force His S/o to have kids right after marriage or settling down. He’s the one that cooks – mostly recipes from childhood. He either cooks to save money or to show off His skill. He also likes cleaning around His library, dust and kitchen, of course.

E = Ending

★ Василий solves everything face to face, all straightforward. If it was due to cheating, He would still try to be polite. If it was because of the loss of spark from any of the two sides, He would not mind staying in friendship, but He can easily disappear and hold onto the memories, shared moments, photos,...

F = Fiancé(e)

★ Василий is the type that would propose after a year or two of marriage and thinking about family after three to five years of shared living. Trying to support His family whenever during whatever.

G = Gentle

★ Василий, while being the hopeless romantic He is, keeps people dear to Him closely and fondly in a small circle. He can become emotional, but after russo-japanese War, has a hard time settling down and living as an average person, opening up about problems.

H = Hugs 

★ Василий gives one big bear hug or trying to – at least. He squeezes His eyes, embracing His S/o or people close to Him, His arms almost shaking, knees slightly bending and lips curving into a smile.

I = I Love You

★ Василий needs a few months of knowing someone, to know if He loves Them. He can finally say it out loud. But He needs to be sure, since He obviously does not want to end up embarrassed. 

J = Jealousy

★ Василий might be slightly jealous, but trusts His S/o a lot. He does not feel jealous towards other artists, He admires Them. When it comes to sniping, He felt slightly jealous of some people, but that disappeared. After it almost cost Him His life.

K = Kisses

★ Василий keeps three basic pillars of His kissing. Slow, heartfull and long. Василий gets lost in a moment and closes His eyes. He enjoys when His S/o kisses Him on cheek and even more enjoys if He can do it. During cooking, He loves to watch His S/o amorously, until the water in the pot starts bubbling. Stargazing before making out makes His heart skip a beat and knees tremble.

L = Little Ones

★ Василий is a family man, as we already heard. He might not show that He likes the little ones around Him, but They definitely like Him. He does take care of Them on family reunions when needed, He draws with Them or teaches Them this and that. After sitting down, He can’t hide the tired smile They cast upon Him.

M = Morning

★ Василий wakes up early and starts with some morning sketches while having a cup of cheap coffee and bread with butter, cheese or some tomatoes. If He’s living with His S/o, He makes two portions – the portion for His S/o is bigger and richer than His. He then wakes His S/o and does His hygiene.

N = Night

★ Василий, while His S/o sleeps, cleans around or draws. After war, He teaches Himself the skill of carving wood.

O = Open

★ Василий and trust issues are something untouched. Very much protective of His life, takes months or even years to open up. But after getting comfortable, Василий is one big surprise and talker.

P = Patience

★ Василий has a strong temper, therefore does not lose it so easily.. He can deal with what many people consider ‘idiotic’, but the line can be crossed for example  when:

the person starts sabotaging the progress of current situation/thing

Василий starts getting a headache from Them.

Q = Quizzes 

★ Василий likes to write down many important details into His personal notes, but most of the things He needs or wants to remember, He does. After all, His skill of a photogenic mind plays a role, but one can always lose against sickness..

R = Remember

★ Василий cherishes every moment as the same valuable merit. He never forgets.

S = Security

★ Василий tends to be protective around everyone. In need? Emotional support? Work or studies? Skills? Sick? He will help. He will show up twice or even thrice to check on the person. When it comes to His mama or S/o, He stays awake even through the night.

T = Try

★ Василий is ‘keeper’ and ‘malewife’ in the new century’s slang. Drawing portraits, surroundings, favorite animal of His S/o is only the beginning of His morning routine. Dates and anniversaries are mostly walking together.

U = Ugly

★ Василий, before the Russo-Japanese war, had the bad habit of eating fast and loud, nowadays it is insomnia and over thrifting over things.

V = Vanity

★ Василий got used to the cold winter and uncertainty of hygiene during war. The russian blood flows within His veins. His body is tough. Cold river is not a big deal – considering having a campfire or spare clothes. He washes His hands, takes care of His neatness and so on. After war, it took Him few months before getting used to the luxury of supplies like soap.

W = Whole

★ Василий can never forget, even after straying away. When it comes to His exes, He respects what happened. When it comes to the last break up (considering He is single for a long time afterwards) or the most influential person He lost, Василий still holds onto old photo, letters, box full of shared things or gifts, etc…

X = Xtra 

★ Василий, we all know He is talented in drawing and likes green tea for example, but Василий also loves literature and has His own small library. Of course, He not only praises classical Russian literature, but respects other men of letters. He’s most fond of the works of Tolstoy and Chekhov. Василий is also mama’s boy, He loves His mother, since she raised Him all alone.

Y = Yuck

★ Василий does not like the inability of shared understanding and to make compromises. Annoying sounds, dragging down interests or untidiness – especially kitchen – makes Василий yuck.

Z = Zzz

★ Василий’s pose of sleeping is ‘comme un soldat’, taking the smallest space and sleeping softly. He does not snore nor dream much often. With His S/o, He gets somewhat clingy and falls asleep in a hug or turned on His side, facing His S/o.

[youwontlikethisblog]

Armando Mendoza: A Brief Analysis

Hey, how are you? It's been a while. This will be a lil update so if you want you can skip down to the [GREEN] to start with the post :)

It's been a hectic few months. I finally decided to stop setting it aside and get real about my writing and begun the tedious task of editing the final draft of my original manuscript. I'm a perfectionist(Although if we're considering my posts about YSBLF as an example of that, than you wouldn't expect it lol. I suppose that's what I get for writing post when I haven't had a lick of sleep and don't stop to take breaks while writing the posts and then, half brain dead, I sit down to "edit" the grammar). When it comes to something that truly means a lot to me I do not feel satisfied until it has reached my exact expectations. I've made a few updates on my writing and how it's been going. There's some exciting development on it but I want to wait a little more to be able to fully talk about it and share the news with y'all.

That being said; I still have not continued watching YSBLF since the last time I did a post about the show, y'know, life and all but without further ado, here is the post :)

Armando Mendoza: An Objective and A Not So Deep Dive

Now that I've had some time and space away from the show, I can look at the characters in a more objective manner. I've been considering a lot of things regarding them and I feel like this post might come right out of left field —seeing how I normally seem to "defend" Armando, or some might assume I do— and this post will most likely not do that. In reality, it won't. It'll rightfully so call him out.

See, the stark difference between Marcela and Armando, not personality wise, but writing wise, is that Marcela doesn't really have a backstory. Her past is pretty blurry and the very few clear images we get of it always paint her to be the exact same person. However with Armando his past, while also not clear, is more visible and a little bit more precise than hers. In the post I made for Marcela I wasn't as empathetic as I should have been.

Marcela's past is basically unknown and the very little information we do get doesn't paint her in the best of lights. However, that doesn't mean that she deserved or that what Armando was doing to her was okay. I should have said that in her post. I placed a lot of emphasis on the fact that while Marcela had a right to feel what she did, she didn't have a right to act the way she was. Feelings are valid, actions are not.

Well same goes for Armando.

Armando could have been dating a helicopter as a girlfriend, someone who was possessive and controlling of him, but that doesn't justify nor excuse his horrible behavior towards her. While yes, one could assume that his cheating had to do with his lack of control with life, it still doesn't justify or excuse it. Nothing, ever, justifies cheating.

As I said in the Marcela post: This isn't about her so I won't be explaining her reasoning, her behavior, her actions, or anything of those sorts, therefore, don't take it as me excusing her bad behavior. It's simply being mentioned.

With modern times come modern solutions. Nowadays it's very easy to be able to pick up your phone and google something, read a self-help book, find the root of your childhood trauma and even a therapist. Child development isn't easy to understand to the naked eye and you have to have years of experience on the subject to fully understand how point A gets to point B. I'm no expert of it, just done some basic research on certain topics of childhood trauma and such so while I might have some form of understanding, it's not an exactitude on the subject.

We can estimate that Armando had emotionally absent parents, witnesses how his parents turned their backs on his sister for falling in love with a poor man and the way the elite society they're a part of was about the whole subject. How do we draw to this conclusion?

His father doesn't even know what he went to college for or what he got his degree on. His mother coddles him, only when he acts to her standards, enables a horrible relationship that does not benefit neither her biological son or her basically-adopted daughter. Quite the contrary the show does a good job at showing the drastic parallels of Betty's relationship with her parents compared to Armando and his parents. Consider the fact that any time Armando is on screen with his parents they only talk about two things: His relationship with Marcela and the company.

They don't sound like the warmest of parents do they?

I talk a lot about being a writer and how knowing your characters IS one of the most crucial and important parts of developing your story. I mention this because when you write characters, fleshed out ones, you have at the very least an understanding of their past. Not an exact one, but an understanding in order to have them say the things they do and act the way they do.

Roberto was always cold towards Armando, from the very start. He clearly showed signs that he didn't very much care for him. He cared more about the company, his wife, Daniel, Marcela, Beatriz, and then, at the very end, Armando. With obvious reasons we understand why Roberto didn't trust Armando. It's always been told that he's always been a player, doesn't commit, and is immature, plus with the devil on his shoulder he calls a best friend, Armando isn't the most trustworthy.

Yet, that does not excuse Roberto's lousy father role in his son's life. Children need strong(by that I mean emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually present) male role models in their lives, especially father figures. I've said it before that it could be a possibility that Armando's childhood was very much with an emotionally distant father. This creates the perfect breeding ground for a child to constantly feel like they must excel in every part of their lives(perfectionism), have an anxious attitude, a fear of losing the love of their loved ones if they aren't excelling(low self-esteem), and other difficulties. Basically this ball of fear, resentment, anger, perfectionism, and anxiousness(being avoidant) . These issues on their own bring their separate problems that mixed together make for an unlikeable person. I don't know about you, but this sounds a lot like Armando.

Of course there's people who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents and grew up to be fully companionate, kind, loving, and wonderful people. That's the tricky thing about trauma, not one size fits all. Just because two people grew up the same doesn't mean they'll deal with it the same way.

Emotionally absent parents equal physically absent parents when it comes to their children's development.

His mother was the same, though, unlike Roberto, Margarita did love Armando and was present but very conditional with her love. You can have examples of this when Armando and Marcela would be fighting. She always took Marcela's side and pressured Armando to continue the relationship. She also guilted Marcela into staying with Armando. She was never there to comfort her son when he was at his lowest or even before. She was just only ever present in his life and made an effort to talk to him when it came to his engagement to Marcela. Plus, the whole causing Camila to divorce her husband and move to a different country fiasco.

Armando did a fine job of taking after his parents, as he is a perfect reflection of them.

There's one thing that Armando said that has ran laps around my brain for a while now; "I know I did things wrong, damnit I always do!" outside of el Meson.

He's aware of the things he does, even if it's at the heat of the moment, Armando is a self-aware jester, who never cared enough to change until he lost everything.

This change, while outside forces moved him to change, were not the reason why he changed. That's another message that is lost with this show.

Armando didn't change because he fell in love with Betty. Armando only learned to be brave enough to be the person he always aspired to be, because he fell in love. Doesn't matter who he fell in love with, he simply did. The love he received from Betty only taught him to be brave enough to love the same.

The same way Betty was naïve to how depraved any man can be, whether educated or not, rich, poor, or from a "high" society or lower class, Armando too was naïve to what was actually good and bad because he never really had parents that cared enough to teach him. Now this in no way frees Armando from accountability. Lets not forget that the whole point of his personality at the beginning of the story is that he sucks, and is a horrible man.

[TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED ONE.]

Sex addiction is a serious addiction. As I've mentioned before, in one of my earliest posts, that Armando shows to have signs of it but I'm no expert so I wouldn't say he does. For example, his affairs often cause issues in his relationship, his professional life, and for himself. While he's aware of all the risk that these affairs cause in his life, he still part takes in them! These are all signs that he has an addiction. However, I don't think that was the intent behind this part of his personality when he was being written, simply there to show how he was a Casanova of sorts.

These are all things I've already talked about in different posts but I wanted to dive a little bit deeper here in case some people haven't read those.

Let's get to the real juicy stuff now.

Armando's horrible, terrible, abusive, treatment of women.

Yeah Armando defended Aura, he wasn't a misogynist, and he didn't abuse his position of power nor assaulted any women(not talking about the constant harassment of Betty after she found the letter yet). Still, Armando was abusive.

He constantly manipulated women into believing he was serious about them just to use them, he gaslit —not only Marcela but all his side chicks— people in order to control a situation, and at times even got physical. Let's not forget the hair pulling, choking, and dragging of Karla, Marce, and Larson. Let's not forget Betty! While he never hit them, the way he acted, was not okay!

Armando was aggressive, he was controlling, and he was manipulative. God, he was awful!

There's no excuse or even a justification for him in this part.

While you can argue that his intentions weren't to harm those girls, he still did it. The moment they didn't behave to his standards, he removed his "love"(infatuation) from them. Does that sound similar to a pattern? like someone else? (Margarita).

However Marcela for this instance was a victim of his. His constant cheating made her so controlling, resentful, and bitter.

A cycle starts somewhere. Whether it be Marce being possessive from the get go of their relationship or Armando cheating first, somewhere the cycle began.

One thing I want to make clear is that both Marcela and Armando were abusive and victims of each other.

From the start of the novela Armando isn't a good person. He's horrible. However, he was meant to be charismatic, which would cause people to over-look those red flags.

There's a lot of sides to Armando's character and that's what makes him complex.

There's obvious reason as to why Armando, in a sense, has some redeeming qualities compared to the people he's surrounded by. You know, he feels remorse for the way he acts, especially towards Marce and Betty. He feels the pressure of not letting his parents down and the responsibility of keeping people employed. However, even if it's remorse, the problem always lays in the fact that he doesn't truly change.

In this half of the post I'm focusing more on his relationship with Marcela.

I've talked about reactionary abuse, toxic relationships, abusive tactics, and patterns in all of my posts regarding Armando and Marcela. I've explained in a simplified way and yet I feel like some people either reject the idea or only want to blame one party.

What makes Marcela and Armando's relationship toxic and not D.A. is that they both enable each other and their bad habits. See, even if Armando were the one that started the conflicts, Marcela also acts out abusively. Basically they up one another in any fight. As if saying "Oh so you're going to threaten to leave? Fine! Then I'll ruin your life! If you leave me it would be like losing my parents all over again." while the other responds with "Marrying you is simply a favor to you! If you speak up about this than the wedding is off!" get the idea?

Marcela enables Armando by acting out in her rage, further pushing him to act out in his cheating and gaslighting. Armando enables Marcela by his cheating and gaslighting. They both feed the cycle and reject any accountability for their actions.

What makes this drastically different in what a typical D.A situation in where the abused reacts abusive(aka mirrors their abuser) is that they BOTH switch sides. One moment Armando is the abuser, the one with the upper hand in the relationship and then, the next, Marcela is the one that is being abusive and in control. Often times they bounce off each other. It's not Armando constantly and only being the Abuser with Marcela mirroring him. They BOTH DO THIS.

However, at the very least, Armando at the end of the series took accountability and broke the cycle.

When you write two explosive and complex characters meant to be together you have to separate them from each other. By this I mean that Marcela is her own person away from Armando, just like Armando is his own person away from Marcela. Together, however, they are a volcanic eruption. While, for Marcela, this can translate to just being passionate and intense, for Armando it can be an absolute tragedy that must continue in order to keep every party of people in his life "happy" while in the end, at the very least, he has his affairs to give him something.

Together Armando and Marcela are a horrible duo because all they do is cause harm to one another. That's what makes their relationship toxic, not one sided abuse.

One can argue that the ONLY reason Marcela acted this way was because of Armando, meaning, if you remove the cause of the problem, the issue would be resolved, right?

Not entirely as we're often shown and told that Marcela is this way with everyone. She keeps up with public appearances for the sake of their elite society but she treats people outside of her economic class poorly, en fin she treats anyone that isn't to her standards poorly and inhumanly. What does this tell us? That she on her own is toxic and abusive so even if she were in a healthy relationship, her prejudice and expectations of things causes her to be this way.

Armando was a cause of the problems in the relationship! That's where the tricky part and what makes them complex, is.

We know that Armando and Marcela were basically forced to be together, or groomed. From a young age all they've heard is how they must be together to unite the families, how her dead parents wanted that more than anything. That's placing a lot of pressure on two people.

However, even if this were the case(which it is) Armando's go about and treatment of Marcela was not okay. For the sake of this post let's say that Armando is the reason Marcela is the way she is(meaning we ignore her personality all together). He caused her to be possessive, controlling, toxic, and cold. Marcela was once a kind and sweet person who did nothing but show devotion and adoration for him, and Armando's constant cheating and lying pushed her to be this way.

Armando could have handled it a lot better. If he felt obligated to be with Marcela from the get go, he could have at the very least, like the very minimum treated her as a human being, and not cheated. That's the very least she deserved.

Obviously, we don't know how the start of their relationship was like. All we know is that when they got engaged that he made a promise to Marcela to be faithful and that Marcela knew about the affairs. We know that Armando and Marcela at least had somewhat of a "happy" relationship, despite the affairs and fights they'd get into. (Which this on it's own establishes that Marcela was fully aware of Armando's unfaithfulness before their engagement, that and his promises to be faithful show us that it's been a problem for years.)

Let's consider this; If Armando fell for Betty when she was ugly SIMPLY because of the adoration and devotion she had for him, why didn't he do that with Marcela at the start?

Had she held this devotion and adoration for Armando from the start it would imply that Armando would have fallen for her, same way he did with Betty, and therefore Marcela would have never turned out to be the way she did, right?

Let's be honest here. That's the sole reason why Armando even began to have some sort of confused emotions towards Betty. It made him feel good, boosted his pride and ego, and tide with the fact he trusted her, he liked Betty. So if Marcela would have been the same way at the start, don't you think Armando would have felt the same? Therefore he wouldn't had cheated on Marcela?

Again, that sounds like I'm solely blaming Marcela for the dissolvement of their relationship but I'm not.

Armando is part/responsible for Marcela's possessiveness in their relationship and there's no excuse for it.

What is cheating and why do people cheat?

Cheating can range from emotional intimacy with another person that isn't your partner to physical. The physical can range from simple hand holding to full blown intercourse.

(source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-people-in-relationships-cheat/#:~:text=The%20participants%20admitted%20to%20cheating,desire%2C%20and%20situation%20or%20circumstance.)

In the article linked as a source it mentions that most partners cheat due to a lack of validation, love, or due to neglect in their relationship. What does this tell us?

While cheating is not a valid response to whatever is a lack in a relationship, there's always a valid reason the person feels the way they do. Let me say that again. Cheating is not valid, but the emotions of the person who is cheating, are. Cheating is not valid, but emotions are. What does this mean? (Unless we're talking about a narcissistic abuser. In that case, no. They are not valid) This is overall just a an idea of why cheating occurs in otherwise "healthy" relationships.

If you feel like your relationship lacks validation, love, neglectful, abusive, or there's no spark or desire: LEAVE or go to couple's therapy and work on it with your partner(EXCEPT FOR THE ABUSIVE ONE. LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! There is help for you.).

Emotions are valid, actions are not. A person's feelings are valid but that does not excuse nor justify cheating.

While Armando's cheating was a huge reason why they had fights and arguments, there had to be a reason why he cheated in the first place and while his emotions were valid, his actions were not.

His cheating could have very well begun at the start of the relationship feeling as if he had no real control over his life because of his parents persistent push for him to be with Marcela, which means it had nothing to with Marcela, everything to do with his parents, and ultimately this caused Marcela to be so possessive. Or it could have simply been Marcela who was like that from the start because she too had to deal with the ever guilting of Margarita's "this is what your parents always wanted, for you two to be together and unite the families." In all honesty the real villain of this show is Margarita.

Yes, their relationship was a paradox of sorts. If they broke up, Armando would lose the presidency, the company would dissolve, his parents would hate him, and he'd be a failure. Marcela wouldn't have really lost anything except Armando.

We can go with the 'could have' and 'should have' or 'what if's', but at the end of the day all we've got is what is actually canon in the show and not just speculation.

A few weeks ago I saw this video on my IG feed of FG talking about the ending of YSBLF. He said he didn't give them their happily ever after, since Armando was Betty's executioner(verdugo).

If the writer himself is saying that Armando wasn't all that amazing, I suppose that means he wasn't.

Yes, Armando went through a redemption arc but even then, Armando wasn't the best person. He was simply a better version of himself. He learned to be honest, to view people as his equals, women as humans and not properties, and to be selfless and caring, that's a huge difference from the Armando from the beginning but Armando was still neurotic. He was still a control freak, and was prone to his anger outburst.

However, this is realistic! Armando didn't change to be the perfect man that was deserving of Betty. He came to be real. He had his traumas and he was healing from them. The love of Betty didn't fix him, contrary, when she stopped showing a pure love towards him, osea, removed her love from him, Armando had no other choice but to LEARN to love properly. In order to do that, he needed to revaluate himself, his goals, his life, and what had pushed him to such a low point in his life and the ironic thing is that Armando's low point wasn't him drunk and suicidal at the bar that night. Armando's low point was the moment he agreed to manipulate Betty in order to retain her devotion and the company.

The downfall of Armando began the moment the novela started. It was a slow trickling drip from the throne he believed he deserved for simply existing and just as that, so was Marcela's.

Unlike with Betty, who was basically seduced to be bad, Armando and Marcela's downfall began from the very beginning.

So many people dismiss the abysmal abuse that was plain in the novela when it's the women acting out this way but are quick to crucify any male who acts the same way.

Now, I'm not saying Armando was only a victim of circumstance because that's not true. If I believed anyone was a victim to circumstance I'd say it was Marcela or Betty.

Why?

Because Armando, with chest puffed in pride, cleared headed, and sober CHOSE to manipulate these women. That's the abhorrent part of his character. That above all he always wanted to save his own skin and while his feelings were complex as to why, at the very end of it, he didn't want to deal with the repercussions.

While Armando wanted to be good, to prove he could be good, to himself, Marcela, and his parents, there lacked a true conviction in him. He felt like he needed to be good in order to have his parents love and approval and one of those things was that he also marry Marcela but he didn't feel inspired to be good.

There's a difference between knowing what's good, wanting to do good, and feeling inspired to be good. See, with inspiration comes motivation and with motivation comes action.

Writing complex characters means that good motives are acted out wrong. It means that bad motives are disguised as good acts. Not fully good, not entirely evil.

When you get to know your characters the rest of the story comes to you naturally and by that I mean that the actions they take, the words they speak, how they are, kind of rolls out of you naturally. You need to know your characters before you sit down to write your story.

Armando's actions are horrible. He was abusive but he was also a victim and I know someone is probably wondering "well why aren't you talking about the way he was towards Betty when she found the letter?" and that's simple.

Armando perfectly mirrored Marcela and Betty perfectly mirrored Armando.

I mentioned this in the Marcela Valencia post but I'll try and talk a bit more about it here.

Armando's constant abuse and violation of Betty is an exact mirroring of Marcela, however, he still chose to act this way knowing that instead of drawing Betty closer to him, that he'd push her further away and while in moments of lucidness Armando attempted to resolve the issues he had with Betty in a calm manner, she wasn't on the same page.

Armando chased Betty all over the place, threw jealousy fits, and forced himself onto her. Marcela did the exact same to him.

However, here's the tricky part of it.

Betty.

Betty was the perfect mirror of Armando. She lied to him, manipulated him, and "cheated" on him. The same way he was towards Marcela.

Obviously this is a simplified version of it but it's the same thing at the end of the day.

Had Betty never acted this way, would Armando have treated her the way he had?

To a lesser degree, I do think so.

I think he would have manipulated her and that he would have thrown some jealousy fit here and there.

See the thing is that if Betty had never given him a taste of his own medicine Armando would have never changed. No matter how much he wanted to or how badly he was in love with Betty.

Armando, to his core, was a coward. That's what he was in the story. Due to this he resorted to manipulation and cheating.

While some of his actions were due to some sort of trauma or the fear of rejection, and came from a place of hurt and self-preservation, Armando still acted wrong.

At least at the end Armando took accountability for his actions and somewhat changed his ways. Was he deserving of getting the girl? Not entirely but was Betty deserving of getting Armando? Not entirely and see that's the problem with writing romance.

Often times the most important bit of the story is cut out because "people don't want to see the reconciliation, they just want to hear about it. "

From what I know, Betty never took accountability for the way she treated Armando after she found the letter and this I will later discuss whenever I get around to watching YSBLF and write a post about the episode but in simpler words: Betty chose to exact revenge on Armando and yes, her emotions were so valid! but her actions were not!

Betty treated Armando the exact same way Armando treated Marcela.

Lastly, I've said Armando is a complex character from the start and while that may be true, this complexity does not excuse his horrible behavior because complexities never do.

Well, I hope y'all enjoy this long over due post, and I apologize for the long hiatus on the YSBLF breakdown posts.

Also, again, sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, I'm working on it! Lol.

'Til next time :)

[monstraduplicia]

tagged by @geryone to post 9 book recemendations!! i think ive mentioned all these books before but theyre my current favorites <3

brother by ania ahlborn - michael is the youngest in a family of serial killers. ignored by momma, for better or for worse, and unable to please his tempestous older brother, rebel, he tries to cope in a house of horror.

any man by amber tamblyn - chronicles the aftermath for several men who share trauma: they're all victims of the same female serial rapist.

pin by andrew neiderman - orphaned, codependent siblings leon and ursula are more than willing to blur the lines between sibling and lover. bound together for life, the only weak link between them is the realistic anatomy dummy named pin that leon believes is alive.

choke by chuck palahniuk - victor is a sex addict unable to stop forcing himself to chock at restaurants just so people will save him. the fact that his mother, who was equally possessive and neglectful to victor during his childhood, has dementia and is now dying has absolutely nothing to do with it.

bath haus by pj vernon - what would you do if, when deciding to cheat on your partner, the man you meet at a bath house tries to strangle you? what would you do if your would-be murderer than begins to stalk you? do you go to cops? do you confess to your partner? or do you simply crumble under the constant fear?

lost souls by poppy z brite - several stories converge in the small town of missing mile, north carolina. steve and ghost are best friends and musicians dealing with steve's recent breakup and ghost's sudden visions of monstrous, incestuous twins. zillah, molochai, and twig are a ragtag trio of murderous vampires on a cross-country roadtrip, drunk on hedonism and death. nothing is a young, depressed teenager desperate to find family and belonging while figuring out his growing longing for blood.

drawing blood by poppy z brite - 25 years after bobby mcgee killed his wife and youngest son before committing suicide, trevor, the eldest child spared for some unknown reason, returns to the house that destroyed his family. death, however, leaves stains that can't be erased. down in louisiana, zach is a hacker on the run from the fbi, his hypersexuality, and his ptsd. but demons, personal or otherwise, have a way of catching up.

house of leaves by mark z danielewski - there is a house that is bigger on the inside, chronicled for decades by an old, blind man. his life's work is found by a young tattoo artist who in turn becomes obsessed with the writer and his tales of houses and minotaurs and ordinary people thrust into mind-bogglingly extraordinary situations.

the sparrow by mary doria russel - emilio sandoz is a priest with a group sent on a mission to follow an extraterrestrial sound wave to its origin. what happens on the far distant planet haunts the man once he returns home.

tagging: anyone that wants to say i tagged them ❤