#I want my boyfriend so fucking bad
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He must know what it does to me, right? I'll be in public trying to focus and all I can think about is how his hands feel while he's grinding me down on him. How can I focus when his kisses linger on my neck still? When his gorgeous moaning replays in my head because it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard? All I want in the world is for him to pull me in, drink me, consume me, love me. But he's not here, and instead I'm sitting alone on campus wishing I was with him instead.
#God I fucking love him so much it's not even funny#The way he calls me “baby” will forever be my favorite thing#I want my boyfriend so fucking bad#nb switch#nb nsft#queer nsft#trans nsft#tw nsft#tw smut#hornyposting#f/o#f/o community#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o
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and now where the hell is he looking
#This is so funny to me like what else would he be looking at#No one else in this photo is looking in that direction like they’re looking slightly off in the distance but he’s like fully head turned#I can see the fucking face he’s making in my mind#Also just objectively hilarious photo to not see his face but the stupid fuckass mohawk#cobra kai#binary boyfriends#hawkmetri#eli moskowitz#Obligatory “he wants that cookie so effing bad”
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I miss his blood.
I want to cut him open, eat all of his insides, drink his blood and break his ribs to eat his heart.
I miss him so much I want to bite his neck and rip out a piece of his flesh.
Everytime I kiss his neck and slightly bite it I get to rough because I bite 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 bite and bite and bite and bite and bite and bite and bite and bite and bite and bite puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq puɐ ǝʇıq and b̴̨͇̘͉̣̜̗̞̂̏̑̉͠í̷̞͙̩̠͔̌̒̑͊̉̾͜t̷̨̫̻̗͒̆̒̋͊̆̈́̈́͐ͅë̸̯̱̲̮̻ ̷͔̱͔̖͍̭̟̮͔̃̌a̵̹̞͚̭̬͛́͐̈́̓̋͌̚̚n̸͓̼̦̅d̸̯̼̈́́̃͋́͒̉̄ ̴̣̱́̊̿͐̈́̐̊͘̚͝ḃ̸̳̼̯̂̍i̵̭̗̪̼͖̳̥͈͈͒̔t̸̢̠͓̣̺̳̐͗͌̋͐̒̂͝e̵̤͍̖͗̅̔̃́̑̈͠ͅ ̴̟͊a̷̧̧͙̦̝͈͍͔̣̐͛̍͆ṋ̸̢̹͔̼̯̯̓͒̓̎́d̴̨̨̛̫̲̙͈̗͎̞͐̎̎̇ ̴̠̬͎̈͘b̸̨̮́̈́͑͒i̷̞̦̦̿̏͘t̷̘̺͍̣͍͉͉͐̓̐̓́̈́e̶̯͈͉͓̠̪̹͎̓̿͂̑͘ͅ�� ̵̜̪̥̟̘̈̽͌͌͋ȁ̵͉n̸̟̮̮̝͚̙͇̤̅̔͋̽̄̅̔̅͜͠ͅd̸̹̼́̔͋͛͌͘͠ ̴̧̻̘̱̲̫̟̥̞̏͒̋͗̇̌̿͊̉ͅḃ̴̛̮̭ͅi̴̖̰̹͆̋͐͜t̸̳̹͓̰̫̭̫̭̽͘ͅē̶̛̘̲̈́ ̵̧̛̹̥̱̦̦͔̹͒͋̒̿̕͜a̸͔͕̳̣̞̝̼͎̰̔̀͐n̶͕͆͐̎͋̒̈́̌͠d̶̢̢̨̢̖̗͇̩̰̀͊̔̓̌̓̄͘ ̶̳̜̯̫̰̗͂͐̍̀b̶̛̟̫̎̉͗͌̈́͂͘i̶͎͔̺̰̩̔̌̇̕͜͠t̷̛̙̫͑̒̀̓͠͠͝ẹ̴̻̏̋̅̅̔̅̿͂̏͊ ̸͚̳̝̓ą̷̛̟͇̘̤̝̙̤̯͎̄̓̊̃̓̉͊͘n̵̽̉̄͘̕͝ͅd̵̛̮̐̒ ̶̰̙̯͇̫͐̍͝b̸̼̤̳̂̆͂͝͠͝i̵̠̮̗̬͓̜͖̋ţ̵͖̦͈̬̯̳͖̄̀̽̒̋̀̈̚ė̶̠̳̪̔͑͋̌̓̈͒̂̕ ̴̯͆͝â̶͙͎̓̈̆͝n̵͍͙͉̯̱̙̖͙̟̣͂͋̉̀̌̒͝d̸͎̥̟̪̰̖̻̹̀̂̀ ̴̳̩͓̺̞̟̞̯̀͊̏̓̿͛̚͠b̴̫̞͎̝͖̘͆̇̈́̃̎̃̚͝í̶̧̝̺̄t̷̘͍̖̪̙̓̑̃̒̚̚͠͝͝͠ͅe̵̜̥͖̥̼͂̑̄̋̉̍͜ ̷̹̍͌̍̀͝a̸̠̳̺̾̐̉̽̅͊͠͠n̶̗̬͚̱̘̜̾̎̉d̴̢͈̦̭̮̃ ̸̡̦̫̮̈́̔b̴̡̛̤̻̘̗́̾͊̀͐̌͒̓̌ī̸̞͈̖̳̫͙̼̘̜̒͝ͅţ̶̥̘͎͖͌e̶̹͍͈̝̤̞̓̈́̉̓̎̂̏̅̚͝ ̶̤͚̀̆͌̏̂̚͜͝a̷̛̫͙̟̹̹̗̾̓̀ͅn̸̡̺̱̝̺̱̹͋̋̉̂͝d̶̢̲̺͕͂̏ ̸̠̥̲͝b̷͚̹̯̃͐ĭ̴̢̧̻̖̪̟̰̑̓t̶̫̹̰̯͖̥̓̂͜͜ȅ̴̡̻̹̩̝̮͕̦̟͖́̈́ ̶̤̮̝̫̥͎͓̼̒̽̏̍̅̀̅̓̽̚ä̸̡̡͉͎̯̪́̔̓͛̔̾͐͊̕͜͝n̴̝̦̥͇̲̄d̴̨̖̙͚̉̿̈ ̶̜͕̐̌̊͐̋͗̐̓͝b̵̡̯̙̳̜̳̲̃̆͋͊͌i̸̛̛̫͖͎͎̓̆̐̔̌̕t̷̳͙͍̹̺̘̀̚ͅę̷̝͚̍͊̒̈́͐̅̊͜ ̴̖̩̣̺̝̰͋̅̾̏̌͛͂̊͜a̶̲̩͉͑n̶̢̠̰̰̙͙̆̓̊͠ͅd̸̛̻̏̌̚ͅ ̶̤́͐̇̄̌b̷̛͕̫̹̻͛̌̿͋͂́̿̍͝i̷̱̻͚͎̦̒̇́͛̿̏̋̽̚t̶̼̣͇̒̿e̸̬̾̍͋̈ ̵̧̠͕͙̭̬̗̼̂̐̏̃a̶̢̝̗͍̗̦̣͕͇̯̎̑ṋ̶̡̧̭͍̟̉̏̽̽̿̓̃̅̚d̴͈̗̤̜̾͒̏̈́̈́̂́̃͒ ̷͕̽̂̽b̵̯͇̳̬͓͍̼̱̃̋̄̊͌ì̴̢̖̱̞͙̤̯̣́ͅṫ̷̜̟̮̟͕͐̓̅̈́͘͝ḛ̶̰̠̥͙͎̬̖̇̀̈́͜ ̷̭̮̗̹̰̓́́͐̚͠ą̶͈͖̖̻̬̽̚ͅņ̸̳̤̯̻̦̹̇̈́͑̄͊̀͊̍͗͝d̷̜̖̔̈̉̑̌̀̓̃̕͠ͅ ̷̳͙̲̰͊́͑̚͝b̵̢͖̫̜̜̳͕͙̂̾́̄̽̏͋́̚ī̷̢̧̧͙̹͜t̵̨͇̟͒̓̀ͅͅę̷̥͚͍͓͉̑̈́ ̶̰͔̜͋a̷̢̲̙̬̰̽͆̑̿̈́̊̓͜͠n̷̺̭͍̫̘͓̼̣̓̅̇̐̆̂̐͜d̶̛̮̘͕̤̩̯̊̇̚ ̷̨͇̜̻̳͆̽̑̌̚̚͝b̴͈͇̬͓̬̳̳̘̺̙͌í̶̡̡̢̝̱̜̻̰̾̀̚͝t̸̬̥͔̣̦̽͐̎͆̇͠��͕e̸̢̿ ̵̨̠͈̱̔̒͌ḁ̷͕͓̲̣͚͉͕̠̠͆̈́̕n̴̡̯͖̯̮͈̰̞͆̈́͗ď̸̫̥̣͚̮͚̗̝̀̈́͝ ̴̗̦̗̦̫̱̙͗͑b̴̢̰̟̦̻̼̥̋i̶̢̢̼̎̿̓͂̽͒t̵͈̼͔̹̥͗̎̉̔͝ē̶̢̲̮̪̂̒̋̑͒̀̾̈́͜ ̷̢͉̿́̆͋̈́â̷͔͗̀͋̔̒n̷̹̗̹͓̙̯̱̗̞̄d̵̨͕̱̞̬̺̒̀̅ ̸̢͇̦̜͕̩͖͔̠̭͌͝b̶̧͖̤̄i̴̟͎̾̋͆̑͊̅͛͒͠t̶̛̘̝͚̹̟̪̹͔̻̔ȩ̶̡͉̰̋͒͂̾͂͐̈̿͛ ̴̛̼͚̦̪̾̎̂͆̌͌͐͘̕ą̴̩͙͉̖̪̑̒̅͆͘͝n̷̛̛͉̝̾̿̎͊͋̌̿͝d̵̰̑̐͒͋́̃͗̃̒͠ ̷̳̱̗͓̜̟̞̲͇̎̂̈́̈́̅b̵̳̭̘̹͉̝̈́̈́́̿̚̚͠i̸̜̝̭̯̻͚̠̋́̈́̎̕t̵̳̲̔̎̓̋͆͒ḙ̶͖̱͈̣̬̉̇̊̃̌͒̓̇͝ ̴̨̛̮̫̟̫͎͔̿̿͛͋̐̎̎a̷̛͓͓̜̬̠̖̱̍̽̉͑n̶̨͚͓̳̻̲̪̜̲̎͛̕d̶͔͔̬͈̰̜̤̱̾͑̈́͗̍̒͝͝ ̶̡̧̣͎̞̺̗̥̞̇̑b̷̢͓̲̫͇͓͌i̶̡̛̬̮̦̎͆̀̍͘ẗ̴͓̲̙̼͕͔̯̗́͛̊̔̂͑̚͝͝͠ë̶̖͕͖̼́͑̈́̒̃ ̶̠͈͛̇̽̑̋̕ã̶̘̞̰͍̱͙́͂̾̉̏͊͝n̴̡̻̮̰̙̼͇̈́́̇̇͑̐̉ͅd̶̢̡̛̝̠͎̥̲͓͐̊́̋̈́̈̚ ̴͉̉͜b̶͕̣̭̦̟͔͕̄̑̉̓̒ȋ̸̡͖̣̩̖̀͛̊ẗ̴̨̟̫̰̻̼́̀͌́̀̽e̷̙̍̐̀̕̕ ̵̦̄̊̇͊͋̓ą̴̺̭̿̓̐̿͌͛̓̋͘ṇ̵̛̺̂̽͂͘͝d̴̢̼͓̱̘̾̆͐͋̄̓͋̇͐̏ ̷̡̢̛͕̳̤̹̬̗̗̃͛̋̀͗̀̎̿b̶͓͙̠͎͒͒̉̚i̶̛̟̗̳̣̋͊̇͆̓t̴̠̖͖̱̪̩̘̬͊̋͌̒͌͝e̶͍͇͓̜̊̔̈́̕ ̶͕̃̈͂̌̃̍͌̄̃͘ȧ̷̝̾͑̈́́̊͊̕n̶͈̬̗̼̆͂̂̑͋͘̕͜͝d̷͚̱̦̈́̓ ̸̺̭̦͙͇̂̽͗̊̐͌́̋͌b̸̮̖̯͍̟͇̉̊̌͘̕͜ǐ̴̹͗͂̇͗ẗ̷͓͍͈̣̗̺́͊̋̈́̒̅̓͜͜ȩ̶̨̻́̚͝ ̶̧̬͈̱̇͝
Until he tells me it hurts too much and it's so hard for me to stop. I want to taste him and rip him apart.
I don't want to hurt him, I want to make him feel loved and protected but I also want to kill him and cuddle with his gutted corpse until I die in his arms from starvation because I wouldn't ever get up.
Eternal cuddles.
#yandere coping#yanderecore#obsessive love#yanblr#yancore#yandere#yandere blog#yandere thoughts#actually obsessive#obsessive thoughts#obsessive yandere#yan blog#irl yan#obslove#obsession#love sickness#strong love#i love my boyfriend#irl darling#he is my entire world i pove him so fucking much i want his blood in my mouth so bad
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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thinking about how hawk joined miyagi do instead of eagle fang in s4 after the two dojos split again just because he's in love with demetri demetri asked him to
#'you're choosing eagle fang over your best friend'#fuck no he's not!!!#i want to unpack their s4 basement scene so bad rn#like the fact that eli chooses miyagi do because he doesn't have to be this asshole anymore#he can be himself and he can have karate#he can redefine himself#and demetri will love him no matter what#other than the whole identity thing#he really did just join miyagi do to be with demetri and to do the tournament together#and i think that's really cute#like we saw literally no other reason for hawk to choose miyagi do there was never a connection there#he said well my boyfriends over here so i guess i gotta be here too#hawks season 4 arch is something very near and dear to me#the fact that he wins the all valley as 'eli moskowitz'#he wins when he finally finds balance and confidence in who he actually is#instead of thr asshole he thought he needed to be#eli moskowitz#demetri alexopoulos#hawkmetri#elimetri#binary boyfriends#ck#ck s4#cobra kai
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I hardly talk about 2 of these cunts but this was really funny in my mind.
#artings#me#<- for the bfsona. who unfortunately also gets treated like an oc thats hwy hes here#wyd!BF#wyd!RGBau#transfem boyfriend#god i need to. flesh out joyfriend (fuck it im calling her that i like it) so bad. i dont talk abt bfsonas whole Deal but he at least#has his shit fleshed out LMAO#tho tbf. in my defense. joyfriend is the most like canon bf in that she doesnt rlly have much going on like. in her head#shes just chillin. i think the worst she would feel is mild frustration bc she wants to just like. go out on a date or something#but they get interrupted with another rap battle#im gonna go back to only talking abt wyd!BF now /silly
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Mytho fans id like to issue a formal apology. I realized I, too, know how it feels to have your special little guy mischaracterized and trampled over by his own damn media and now everyone hates him but YOU understand you understand him and they’re wrong they’re all wrong and also there’s this other guy everyone insists is better like it’s a competition and it’s really annoying and you just want everyone to see your pookie bear the way you see him. I understand. I’ve always understood. I am a better man now.
#this is abt me being insane about lotr again#frodo baby get behind me Elijah wood Peter Jackson DNI#insane 2 me when the writers are like this is the special boy he’s the most important guy in this piece of media#and then everything they write shows how much they vehemently hate him#I’m sorry mythoheads im sorry they ravened him in season 2 and then married him off to rue#my boy had every redeeming and charming quality taken away#AND they made him break up with his boyfriend because they knew the rotk scenes were too gay for cinema#and now everyone is like lol frodo sucks so bad he didn’t even DO anything#and I have to sit there like do you guys remember how his defining trait is his kindness and love of peace#and he is the only hobbit who refuses to take part in the battle to take back the shire because he won’t spill blood on the shores soil#DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER#you don’t because fuck the scouring of the shire that can’t go in the movies#and fuck the scenes where he takes no shit from Gollum#my guy just wanted to eat mushrooms and flirt with his poolboy and now look where we are#lea talks
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to me velvette doesnt lie about *being bisexual* for attention but she lies about being bisexual *for attention*. like admitting to being attracted to women would make her a dyke and manly and f/f relationships dont even count bc her internalized misogyny goes so crazy she subconsicounsly does not see women as full people and needs men to validate her own personhood, and since men hold most of the power, surrounding herself with men is in fact a means to power. so one way she feels she Can have sexual contact with women is through excuses: it's for attention, for convenience, as a power play. but never because of her own desires and it can never mean anything. can you imagine? two women in a loving relationship. who would want to see that?
#i need to work on my goddamn fic so i can SHOW YOU#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin velvette#vettie#and be aware im not black but itd make so much sense to me for there to be a racial component to it#since black women are often deemed 'less feminine' then their white conterparts since gender norms r so centered on whiteness#And bc she worked in the beauty/fashion industry which just worships european features#and also bc shes had to be ambitious and abrasive and other Not Feminine things to get somewhere in life#i think shed feel the need to defend her womanhood tooth and nail#n if youre wondering Yes she does view queer men as less manly. but vox and val check enough other boxes for it to not be an issue#(and its a whole different beast from dealing with her own sexuality bc its so connected with misogyny)#powerful. rich. want to fuck her real bad. val can serve as her dark romance dangerous boyfriend or bitchy gay bff depending on the day#and once in a while she will call vox a faggot#and well shes a fujoshi so you know. and different pipes so she can feel more Needed since neither of them have other gfs#ok im done now
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rewatching dead poets society for the first time in 4 years and i had to pause to make this it came to me in a Vision:
#they’re so fucking!!!!!!!#all of them!!#it’s overwhelming!!!!!!#also knox is about to SA chris so making this gave me an excuse to procrastinate pressing play#dps#dead poets society#anderperry#todd anderson#neil perry#charlie dalton#nuwanda#knox overstreet#steven meeks#gerard pitts#yeet my deet#dps fandom i will always be loyal to you#you’re my ride or die#i may be basically a phannie account at this point but many moons ago you and i ran this joint (aka the at the time very small dps fandom)#mwah i love you so much#guys i need to be asleep but i am choosing to torture myself instead bc i make bad decisions#can’t wait to get so fucking triggered#maybe this time neil will be ok#i’m just gonna take out mr perry and then we should be good#then neil will be able to be a happy gay theatre kid and read poetry with his faggy friends and kiss his faggy boyfriend in peace#it’s mindblowing to me how disinterested neil and todd are in girls like they Do Not Care#the hardest they tried was that deleted scene where todd just barely jokes about wanting to go to neil’s rehearsal bc there are girls and#neil immediately getting jealous and telling him he wasn’t allowed to go anymore and then them continuing to flirt and run lines and poke#each other and giggle like lovers in the springtime bc that’s what they ARE#bog#image description in alt
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I’m being a freak whore for Coyle again….
God I need him so bad it’s not even funny 😭 I’m so desperate for him 💔
#leland coyle#outlast trials#outlast characters#men#hot cops#officer coyle#sergeant leland coyle#god i want him so bad#i need him so fucking bad#i want him to do unspeakable things to me#i need him to ruin me#i want him to be my boyfriend
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I’m having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )
I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah don’t worry abt it haha yeah I’m just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right
#yeah ok I’m on my blood moon right now I’ll admit#anyways I don’t know what the otherkin equivalent of monsterfucking is.#I’m a monsterfucker in the way that I’m a monster and I want to fuck other monsters or humans. But not in a “human who wants to get#fucked by monsters” way.#cough. Anyways.#*gripping the sink gritting my fangs trying to be normal* pleaseeee I need to run through the forest completely unrestrained and free#I need to chase someone and hunt without killing someone bc I feel bad about hurting animals and people#pleaseee it would be so good for me to hunt a guy and fuck his brains out at the end#I promise I’ll take care of him afterwards and lick his bite wounds and wash the bramble scratches clean and put the bluey bandaids on#afterwards. I’ll give him a nice bath and water after he ran all that way through the woods. Giving him blue gatorade.#and then I take him to bed and curl up around him and we sleep together like#that scene from totoro. just sleeping on a big fluffy werewolf. Pleaseeee it would be so good for me so so good#it’s enrichment ok?? It’s for my mental health!! And we both get to exercise together like that’s basically hiking right guys??#it’s a great couples bonding activity to be hunted by your werewolf boyfriend right#monster fucker#monsterfucker#trans werewolf#werewolf tag#blood moon bite#< my hornyposting tag#terato#terat0philliac#teratophillia
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I had a lot of fun tonight we went to an art class at the museum but I’m so exhausted again I think I’m getting depressed again fr
#fuck my whole life and vibe#I want a boyfriend so bad but I’m ugly and eccentric and have issues w intimacy#what do I even do
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i literally wont stand for the dawniefication of callie. the most annoying character in yellowjackets??? multiple people saying they wish she didnt exist and they hate her and she's just in the way and they want her to die. are you insane?? she is a Child living in the shadow of her mom's dead best friend that she never knew because her she froze to death in the wilderness years before callie was born. she is a little girl whose entire world got fucked up because she found out her mom is a murderer and her dad is a (bad) blackmailer and now they've all been backed into trying to cover up a murder. her whole life just got upended against her will. of course shes going to lash out on her parents and break up with her high school boyfriend and lie about staying at a friend's house and go to a bar she's not supposed to be at and date an older man she's not supposed to be seeing. even if it's destructive it's something she can control! the comfortable boring Safe life she thought she had was ripped away from her so yeah she's doing reckless shit without thinking about the consequences bc that's all she Can do.
it's dawn summers being voted the most annoying character on television ever all over again. you people just hate teenage girls when they act like teenage girls.
#obviously i didnt watch buffy as it aired bc i was negative 3 years old but i was so shocked when i read that people Viscerally Hated dawn.#AND SHES JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. AND JUST LIKE JACKIE.#do you think teen shauna slept with jeff because she was a master manipulator who wanted to ruin jackie's life? NO.#she never intended for jackie to find out! she did it because things were changing and jackie was making decisions about her for her.#also the gay stuff. her desire for jackie runs so deep that she cant separate it from jealousy and she can't pinpoint what she wants etc.#not really my point rn.#so she fucked her boyfriend because thats a decision She could make about Her Own Life and Her Own Body.#i know headlines are supposed to be provocative but that one Is the most annoying. actually.#i didnt read the article bc the headline pissed me off too bad#dawn summers and callie sadecki i will live fight and die for you both. my best friends.#yellowjackets#callie#ri.txt
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#TAG RANT TIME#my boyfriend called and i warned him up front that im having extremely bad cramps and dont have very much energy to talk#hes been monologuing for 21 minutes#he does this all the fucking time and it genuinely really annoys me because its the SAME MONOLOGUES EVERY TIME#about how he hates his job and want to do something good with his life#and then he never does anything!!!! he turns down offers to do the exact kind of things hes always talking about wanting!!!#im in so much fucking pain and hes barely even asked me if im okay.#anyway. if youre going to complain about your life for months and months maybe do something about it. or get a therapist to talk to#more and more these days i think i need to leave this man but its fucking complicated!!!!! its complicated
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AUUUUGHHHHH MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD
#face#new stupid hat!!!!!#i had so much fucking fun. my boyfriend ended up going with me and staying the whole time :) he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to#we both got drunk i got really stoned we both talked to the dudes from the second band for a WHILE and got cheap leather from em#cuz their singer makes leather like cuffs and collars n that kinda shit#AND THEIR LEATHER IS SOURCED FROM A FUCKING REZ. ITS FUCKING INSANE ITS SO COOL#but also their singer was looking at my tattoos and was like HOW OLD ARE YOU??? and he looks like he’s around my moms age#so that made me feel really fucking good abt my tattoos .#they’re the band that had the heavy metal parking lot shirt#also!!!! talked to the guitarist from the first band outside (i want him BAD) and he got all excited when i said i loved his solos and their#set was fucking crazy and he gave me a couple stickers and then when me and my bf’s bf were talking to the singer from the second band#the guitarist from the first one comes over and starts talking to me again and says he likes my shirt and then he was like yeah man i saw#you out there and i was like damn this seems like the kinda guy that’ll love this set i fucking hope he does I think i’m in love with him.#listen to takacs (columbus based??) + razorblade (pittsburgh)#apparently ppl at thrash shows like my tattoos! i need 2 look into the local thrash scene more
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genuinely don’t think i’ll do anything but the bare minimum for the rest of the year…
#like i’m far enough along/got too much acedemic anxiety to fuck up my classes atp#but other than that i’m just like a zombie at best. numb outside of either intense anxiety or like a desire so intense i feel like i’ll die#desire for what? beats the hell out of me but i think my hormones actually want a boyfriend—at what cost!!#missing literally all of my exes (yes even /that/ one)…convinced that companionship & touch will fix me 🙄🙄#i wanna work on fic things or literally anything so bad but I’m just in bed rotting and will be until January at least#rose.txt#tw vent
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