#I want more passive-aggressive reviews of each other's works

[kimabutch]

Literally nothing could be worse for my sleep cycle than discovering an Academic Beef while researching at quarter past midnight

[comatosebunny09]

Maybe I’m not fully understanding what the complaint here is but if as you said you’re writing for yourself what’s the point of seeking validation from strangers and as far as I know part 2 is a compliment because it’s someone saying they liked it so much they want more

I’ve discussed this ad naseum, anon.

It’s not solely about seeking validation. Art is literally a discussion. What I consider good may not be your definition of good. How do you expect your favorite writer to grow or remain motivated enough to keep posting stories if you’re not letting them know why?

To some, yes, “Part 2” is a compliment. To me, it’s a passive-aggressive way of demanding that I churn out updates solely for someone else to consume without taking the time to appreciate it. It makes me feel like because I write as a hobby, I am expected to do it all the time like it’s a job.

If I take the time to share 1000+ words of prose, someone can take the time to comment keyboard smash, a string of emojis, or a simple “Beautiful.” To me, that provides more insight on how someone feels versus simply demanding more.

Perhaps I haven’t been articulating this well, so I’ll break it down how I explained it to my husband.

Imagine baking cookies as a hobby. You don’t ask for anything in return. Baking is just your vice. It helps you detox after a long day, keeps you focused, is your stim, or however you choose to define it.

With that, imagine being invited into a room each day to bake cookies. The room has everything you need, from the materials and ingredients, an oven, a place to rest while your cookies bake, an inviting atmosphere, and even little baggies to put them in once you’re done.

Imagine this room also has a one-way window. You can’t see outside of it, but anyone outside can see what you’re doing. You don’t let that bother you, so you get to baking.

You play your favorite playlist while you get to work. And you’re happy because it’s what you love to do. You’re in this room for however many hours, doing what you enjoy with minimal complaints. All you care about is the process that goes into baking and the result.

You’ve finally finished. The cookies smell delightful and taste amazing, and you even took the time to dress them up with icing and intricate designs.

Let’s say the earlier window has a slot for you to put your cookies out in the hallway so people can stop by and sample them. Again, you don’t know what’s out there, but there’s at least a table for you to showcase your cookies.

You put out about three dozen of them, tidy up the room, and leave for the day, confident that you’ve made some bomb-ass cookies that others will enjoy.

You come back a couple of days later. This time, you’re allowed to enter the building you bake in through the main entrance. You walk into the hallway where you’d placed your cookies, and maybe, like, four cookies are left over. Holy shit! Someone liked your cookies! You have no idea who took them, if they were eaten, if people liked them, or if someone chucked most of them in the trash.

Regardless, you don’t let that notion deter you from continuing your cookie-baking cycle all over again. But let’s say you’ve been coming to this room, baking these cookies without question for weeks. You’re starting to lose motivation, so you leave a suggestion box or a link to your socials for people to leave feedback the next time you finish.

You return a few days later with a few notes in that suggestion box.

“Hey, great cookies! 10/10!”

“Omg! These were so good! My kids love them!”

“Make my cookies all the time, please!”

The feedback is good, and it has you smiling like an idiot. You’re even more motivated to make more cookies. But let’s say later down the road, you’re no longer receiving similar suggestions or constructive Google reviews or DMs. Imagine that, suddenly, you were getting requests for “more.”

No idea what they’re asking for more of. More of one type of cookie? More of a specific flavor? More cookies in general? You receive even more suggestions and comments like this as time passes, so much so that they outweigh any positive (or constructive) feedback you used to get.

Pretty soon, you say fuck baking cookies for everyone else. They’re asking for more but not telling you why they want more. So you go back to baking cookies in your own kitchen, content with eating them yourself or sharing them with friends and family you know will appreciate them.

Yes, that was a long, arbitrary story. But that’s the best way I can explain my view of this epidemic.

[cyclogenesis]

✨ per @some-stars request, the F. Scott Fitzgerald part of my review of Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast:

After chapter upon chapter of events ranging from "I went to the cafe to write and an annoying guy talked to me" to "I was hanging out with this famous writer and he was such a dweeb lol, believe me I'm a normal guy myself and very qualified to judge everyone I meet" to "I went to the cafe to write but then got drunk. Crazy that I'm so broke" we eventually got to my favorite part, where Hemingway meets F. Scott Fitzgerald and gets so mad at himself for having the gayest possible feelings a man can have that he just has to be a passive-aggressive bitch about it for several thousand words.

TO BE FAIR: F. Scott Fitzgerald is a manic pixie nightmare girl. He's Kylie Jenner writing the Great American Novel. He's my personal series of exciting-but-horrible Aries situationships/girlfriends that I chased throughout my teens and twenties. He and Zelda saw you from across the speakeasy and they like your vibe. Do you want to have the most bad idea threesome imaginable? It involves a magnum of champagne and screaming at each other until you pass out. That's how they fuck. Yes he just asked if you had sex with your wife before marriage. That was his pick-up line. He is a lunatic. He is Zelda's disagreeable wife. You wish that Scott was your OWN disagreeable wife. He has undiagnosed ADHD and a drinking problem (related?). You are never bored with him. God, you wish sometimes you could just be bored with him. He's asking you to rate his dick. You, Ernest Hemingway, take a look at his dick and give him a fair rating (7.5?). You take him to the Louvre to look at statues of naked Greek and Roman twinks and you're literally like, "maybe you're a grower, not a show-er." You tell him his wife sucks. Ernest you old queen. You butch little TEASE.

F! Scott! Fitzgerald! Sorry, this is all because I'm jealous that Hemingway got to hate himself while flirting with My Most Horrible Boy. And it's here that the book comes most ALIVE, that it becomes ABOUT something other than a broke guy in Paris trying to write a book. Finally, instead of just being about ol' Hem secretly disdaining every person that tries to have a conversation with him, we get Hemingway wanting somebody, wanting their attention and regard and time, and it's a delicious disaster. Scott's a wreck, a disappointment, a drunk; Scott's gorgeous, dazzling, and so full of talent Ernest is SEETHING ABOUT IT. They chase each other like carousel horses. It's a clown show. Scott lovebombs him when he's not too drunk to forget to, and whines about missing Zelda when Ernest won't take the hint and kiss him already.

Something very funny about all this is that at the time Ernest was about 25 years old, and Scott - who Ernest thought of, at the time, as "an older writer" - was all of 28. So it makes sense to me that much of this section reads like an @ Zola-esque Twitter thread combined with a Tana Mongeau YouTube storytime video: Romantic Road Trip with F. SCOTT FITZGERALD?! (The Beautiful and DRUNK! not clickbait!) "Hi guys, welcome to my memoir or welcome BACK to my memoir. Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe, and comment down below to let me know if you'd like more storytimes about me being a deeply repressed bisexual, OR if you want me to vlog the next time I go on a bender with Scott and we DON'T hook up, at least not as far as I can remember. So anyway, I was heterosexually at work on my next adjective-less short story..."

Sorry, I'll stop. Five stars for that entire section of the book, minus one star for the rest of it. Now can someone make a deeply homoerotic film about their relationship, PLEASE.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Feeling Weird About Promoting Stories

Anonymous asked: How do I get over being ashamed to promote my story more? While I definitely write for myself, I like a bit of validation as well but I'm too shy and feel a bit...cheap? There's a person in my writing community who goes around begging people to read their stuff. They keep track up to where you've left comments, and then asks why haven't you commented on their other chapters. They also passive aggressively say nobody likes their stuff enough to leave comments and other things to guilt people into guilt reading their stuff. I've been encouraged by friends to market my stories more, but I just can't bring myself to do it because I feel like I'm in the same boat as this person.

(Ask was edited for length...)

First, I want to be clear that what this person (in your writing community) is doing isn't promoting themselves. It's nagging and badgering, and if they ever try that as a fiction writer, they'll have a very short career.

What they're doing is like hitting someone over the head repeatedly with a pillow. Promoting your story is like standing there holding a sign that shows information about your story. You're not asking anyone to read your story. You're not badgering them by appealing to their sympathy or sense of guilt. You're literally just saying, "Here's my story..." It's up to them whether or not they want to check it out.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with or shameful about promoting your work/product. If there was, we wouldn't have TV commercials, print ads, movie trailers, billboards, etc. The key is to do it in a way that doesn't annoy or badger your potential "customer." When promoting books and stories, that means doing it in a way that's quick, interesting to the reader, and not doing it so frequently that they get sick of hearing from you.

Many fan-fiction writers have a social media account associated with their writing which they can use to help drive traffic to their stories. So, for example, an Instagram, Tumblr or Facebook page. The link to this social media would also be shared at the bottom of each story to give fans a place to stay updated on your writing.

A promotional post would look like...

1 - A text post with a little teaser or hook:

Hi, everyone! I just updated Two Balls of Yarn over at AO3. Let's just say this is the chapter where everything goes sideways. You can check it out here: [link to story on AO3, username, or whatever]

2 - A graphic: for example, a book cover for your story, a mood board or aesthetic, a gif set, or story art, along with a caption that says something along the lines of what's up above in #1. Alternatively, it could say something like: Two Balls of Yarn, updated 9/3/23, available here...

If you're have a story in progress that you're posting every week or so, you would do such a promo post every time you update. However, once every few days or so, you might also choose to promo an older story. Depending on the social media platform, you may also want to do other types of posts occasionally, such as episode reviews (if for a TV show), reblogs of fan-art or gif sets related to the fandom, etc. You might even share links to other writers' stories that you really enjoyed.

Also, and this is SO important... 90% of success when promoting on social media is reciprocal engagement. In other words, if you want people to read, like, and comment on your stories, you need to read, like, and comment on other people's stories.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[sillygoofyqueer]

The Untamed review: episode nine!!!!!!!!!

Is it only me that notices that these reviews are getting longer each day?

Right, the Dire Owl and the high stakes, I forgot about those things

(it keeps fucking freezing)

Huaisang didn't even try to run?? Frozen in fear

Cool barrier, honestly

Dude, they're basically dead, in the nicest way possible

Wangji literally said to run, why question him?

HA, THE SILENCING SPELL

They're going to hold hands and Wangji has never seemed more jealous

Banging flute playing fr

WEN QING!!!!

Nicest way possible, but I don't think she's actually playing it....still looking gorgeous though

Ah, the puppets are responding to her

I love how one of them just has a really big branch, best weapon ever

I'd love to be one of those actors

Qing is so resourceful, I truly love her more than I can describe

SHIT THE DIRE OWL SAW HER

Who the fuck's this telling them not to move?

It's so gonna be Jiang Cheng, you can tell that Wuxian recognises that voice

HAHAHAA IT IS

Threatening him with Wangji, cackling

The way they immediately fall into playful teasing

Wuxian hiding behind Huaisang like he'd protect him???

CHENG ALMOST LET SLIP THAT HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT WUXIAN!!

They're both so happy that Wangji lifted the spell, but why does Wangji look sad? :(

Wuxian always defending Wangji, who could dare insult him

He's so worried about Qing, what a fucking badass

Her reaction is quite literally just "fuck"

Huaisang asking important questions for once

EVERYONE asking important questions actually

Welp, here comes the horde of puppets again

This is all just a big "let's slow them down so we can run" and they just don't fucking run

Why can't you go, Qing?? I'm extremely worried about her

CAN THEY BE SAVED??

Wei Wuxian suddenly becoming intense is glorious to me

THE DIRE OWL CONTAINS A SHARD OF THE YIN IRON! STRIKE IT DOWN, STRIKE IT DOWN

Haha, Wangji making Wuxian do something so he isn't distracted by Qing.

HAHAHA TRAPPING THEM. QING DOESN'T EVEN REALLY LOOK FAZED BY IT EITHER

"you're good at protection" and you're good at buttering people up

I'm sorry but I keep rewinding to watch Wangji briskly walk past in the background, it's just so fucking funny to me. It's a passive aggressive way of telling Wuxian to get a fucking move on

The way Wuxian starts rushing as well HAHAHA

"I've wanted to kill that fucking bird for ages" Wuxian you're so real

The look that Cheng and Qing share while Huaisang is awkwardly standing in the background

I'm fucking sick of fog, someone get a vacuum cleaner or something

I looove how they get closer together while moving, that's so cute

They bumped into each other, how fruity, they should hold hands or something. Platonically, of course. Unless...😏

NO WAY DID WUXIAN AND WANGJI LOSE EACH OTHER AGAIN!?!

HAHAHA, "I'm right here, dumbass"

The fuck is a glitter talisman? AND WHY AIN'T IT WORKING

Shit, they're hallucinating now. They should kiss.

"huh, why haven't you been disturbed by the hallucinations?" "I ain't got fuck all going on up here" maybe Wangji is secretly a himbo

"making use of my wisdom" and then a little giggle, I can't with this guy

I love how Wuxian gets concerned when Wangji starts looking concerned

CHAINS??? NAH, KINKY ASS SHIT

Awww, Wangji helping Wuxian out when the hallucinations start getting to him

THEY'RE SO IN SYNC

I'm in love with them all

BROS ARE LITERALLY BEING SURROUNDED

Once again, I'd love to be a fucking actor playing a puppet, seems fun

Huaisang is helpless, what do you want from him??

THAT ONE'S EYES WERE NORMAL

NOOOO, MADAM WEN!!!!

Qing looks so sad

I'd start fucking climbing

Back to the homosexuals

HOW ARE THEY SO IN SYNC!!!

"quiet" just cast the silencing spell, pussy (/aff)

Can't see shit in this fucking fog

There is something so amusing about watching Wuxian getting fucking snatched and dragged around, and I can't explain what it is

BRO GOT SMACKED INTO A TREE AND IS ACTIVELY BEING CHOKED, HIS FUCKING SWORD

Wangji going to save the day

HE'S PLAYING DEAD, I'M IN LOVE WITH HIS GENIUS

HE CAUGHT IT!!!!

The little "eh" of resignation as the bird hit the floor

The have their spiritual cognition back!!! Yay!

Fucking Wen Chao. Literally just die at this point.

I love your headpiece though

I would have taken the Dire Owl with me as a souvenir, but that's just me

(KEEPS FUCKING FREEZING, GOING TO COMMIT HARM TO A BIN)

Where have the others gone?!?

They're all a bit out of it, honestly man

Never mind, they're all there, with a few of the Wens as well

Madam Wen 😔😔

Don't say that!!!

AWWW, A LITTLE KID

Don't ask questions, Huaisang, it's rude

STOP BOOSTING HIS EGO

You have blood on your lip, Wuxian, have some respect

Oh, oh that's upsetting.

SHE WATCHED HER DAD DIE?!??

AND WEN NING GOT HIS SOUL SNATCHED???

This is extremely upsetting

DON'T BLAME QING, YOU OVERGROWN, SPOILT, USELESS LITTLE BRAT

Literally, Wen 4.0 has a big point, it's your fault, Wen Chao

GET HIS ASS, WEN DOESN'T-LOVE-HIS-SON

You need to touch wood, Huaisang

Ain't nobody safe with Wuxian around, honestly. He's like a magnet

HE DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT HIS CARE

How does Huaisang know so fucking much about birds, I love him

The three look like they're plotting something, and it's so funny. The way Cheng's face shifts slightly at the sound of it

BROS IMMEDIATELY DISTRACTED BY FOOD

All of them on the hunt, even Cheng haha

Wuxian's look of judgement at Cheng's stomach before they rush off

QING AND WANGJI LOOK LIKE DISAPPOINTED PARENTS

Wangji immediately starts interrogation

These guys are such goofballs, you can. From the music alone

Wuxian just disappearing

Literally stepping in sync, they're so excited

Did Wangji just immediately distract Cheng and Huaisang so they could ask Qing questions

These boys aren't doing a very good job of procuring the fucking shards lmao

Because she cares 😔

There's no way that's the fucking motto

SHE WAS GOING FOR THE SHARD

Wuxian, you were so serious...YOU CAN'T JUST BURST INTO LAUGHTER LIKE THAT

Wangji's such a sweetheart

Wuxian utterly showing off his intelligence and bagging the autistic guy in the background in the process

No need to ask bbg, you know you're right

WEN WHATEVER HIS NAME

I'd bite into that

They're such a good team

QING NOOOOO I'm in love with her

The nod they share

Cheng cares about her so much 🥺🥺

I swear that bruise on his neck keeps getting redde every time we see it

Uh oh, Yueyang

He doesn't want him to leave, so he grabs him by one of those thingies 🥺

Literally ditching alcohol to catch up to you, Wangji, he might as well be confessing his love to you

"you can't work well without me" so so real

This happens much later on in the danmei, my lord...and in the future/present

Bullshit, you do just want to drink, you just have logic for it

MENG YAO

Do I need to remind y'all that Wangji doesn't like being touched? And that, on many occasions now, he has allowed Wuxian to drag him around/touch him? He might as well be confessing his love as well

I like how Wuxian just points teasingly at Cheng because they both know he will ask when he runs out of money

That waiter sure is fast, my lord

Wangji wanting him to get straight to the point

Listen, he wants gossip, duh

No shit, Huaisang

Oh, this is definitely Xue Yang's doing, do you think they'll bump into him???

That'd be cool

Well, that's horrifying

Wangji practically telling Wuxian to ask more with his eyes

I like how the guy runs off a little

LAN WANGJI IS GOING TO FUCKING PASS OUT

Wuxian comforting him right away

HE'S SEEING WHAT'S GOING ON

Pussy, but also so fair

THE FUCKING ALCOHOL?!???

There is fucking knocking at the door

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

This is fucking awful, oh my god

I'm literally in shock, there's so much going on

TIME TO REVISE

[sugoi-and-spice]

Chapter Eighteen - The Friendzone

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI

Summary: Tomura Shigaraki was her dad's boss's son. He was the creep that stole girls' underwear and tried to grope her in his room. But it's not like he could get her Dad fired just because she wouldn't sleep with him, right? ...right?

CW: Quirkless!AU, Explicit Smut, Dub-Con, Coercion, Blackmail, Cheating, Sexual Guilt, Humiliation, Unhealthy Relationships, Virginity Kink, Groping, Power Play, Hate to Love, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Animal Death, Slow Burn, Misogyny

Read Full Chapter on Ao3

Like my work? Please consider contributing to my Ko-Fi!

[excerpt]

She really didn’t know what to expect the first time she went back to Shigaraki’s place for a study session after their… discussion . They were trying to find a new normal — one that didn’t involve yelling and backsliding and sex, and two out of the two previous attempts at this had been completely unsuccessful. 

Needless to say she had some serious doubts that any of this was going to work. She wasn’t sure that it was possible to ever just be friends with Tomura Shigaraki. And she was really scared of what that meant. Best case scenario, it meant that they probably would never see each other again.

And that thought pained her way more than she’d ever admit.

So she was pretty surprised when she entered his apartment that day and found not the usual empty living room, but Shigaraki himself, spreading out his textbooks on the dining table. And Kurogiri too, assembling a delightful little tray of snacks and braising a rack of lamb in the attached, open-concept kitchen with no signs of leaving the room. 

“What’s going on here?”

Shigaraki answered simply, “Tutoring.”

“Down here?”

“I’ve got my own work to do today, so I thought a set-up like this made more sense,” he answered.

Wait… had Shigaraki actually set up their session in the living room, a public place, where they couldn’t get out of control?

“Did you have somewhere else in mind?” he asked.

Without even thinking, she answered, “I, uh, I guess I’m just surprised that you don’t want to do it in your room.”

Shigaraki smirked, “Do you want to go to my room?”

“N-No, this is fine!” she squeaked, eagerly taking her seat, “This is great, actually.”

He chuckled and tossed a stack of practice tests to her side of the table.

“Here are the study guides you missed. Review ‘em and then you should do a couple practice tests since you’re behind.”

She looked up at him with a scowl, fully ready to rebuke and rebuttal whatever snarky comment or patronizing smirk he’d throw her way for why she was behind. But there was no judgment or passive aggression waiting for her. He’d just stated it simply and opened his own laptop to work. It didn’t matter how long she waited either, no dig came. If he was holding onto any bitterness right now, it didn’t show.

Feeling her stare, Shigaraki glanced up, “What?”

“N-Nothing!” she dropped her head to dive into her work, praying to God that he didn’t see the red dusting her cheeks, “Just zoned out so… Yeah, nothing.”

His mouth twitched up. He absolutely did notice. But he chose not to say anything about it, instead pushing his laptop across the table towards her.

“Hey, what do you think of this paragraph?”

She looked back up at him, beyond surprised, “You want my help?”

“I want your opinion ,” he corrected pointedly.

She turned the laptop towards her, still a bit baffled, but looking over the document on screen regardless.

“I had the first two sentences switched originally,” he explained, “But I’m wondering if it actually makes a difference.”

She read through the section a few times before scrolling back to the intro paragraph.

“It’s for a history class?” she asked as she read over his thesis, “Not creative writing or anything?”

“Right.”

“I’d go with the way you had it,” she answered, turning the laptop back to him, “It connects more directly to your thesis statement.”

“Hm,” he made the switch and then reread his work, wondering aloud, “Do you think I should just cut the second sentence entirely?”

“No, no, it’s not fluff or anything. But when you open with that sentence, it definitely reads as more of a decorative lead-in rather than supportive evidence.”

Shigaraki nodded thoughtfully as Kurogiri approached with their snack tray.

“Can I get you any coffee or tea?” he asked her as he set it down on the table in front of her.

“Coffee sounds great. Thanks!” she said, her mouth watering at the assortment of stupidly expensive-looking snacks on display.

Kurogiri nodded politely and turned to his ward, “Tomura Shigaraki?”

He didn’t look up from his screen when he answered, “We got any barley tea?”

She paused, the leaning charcuterie tower of baked brie, duck salami, roasted fig, and truffle crackers she’d assembled stopping just short of her lips.

“Yes, I just picked some up yesterday,” Kurogiri answered, pointedly holding back the “by your request” that sat on the tip of his tongue.

“I’ll take that hot.”

“Right away.”

She couldn’t fight the smile that it all brought to her face. It made her charcuterie masterpiece taste all the better.

Continue on AO3

[tolnas-vault]

WIP to Watch Out For: Good Measures

Reviewed: May 2 2024

Fic Data

Rating: M

Status: Incomplete

Publish Date: 2024-03-18

Last Update: 2024-04-04

Chapters: 3

Word Count: 11,187

Main Ship(s): Barcus Wroot/Zanner Toobin

Side Ship(s): Barcus Wroot/Wulbren Bongle

Other Side Character(s): Wyll, Obelia Toobin

Summary:

At the end of it all, outside the Steel Watch foundry, when they stood before each other for the final time, the hardest part for Barcus was not the physical cleaving of himself from Wulbren, as he was already so used to being pushed away. It was not that Wulbren would not see reason, or even that when passion finally flared in his eyes as he looked at Barcus, it was clear, virulent hatred.

No, the hardest part of all was turning away, only to be left with the simple fact of his loneliness. Without Wulbren, who was Barcus, after all? What life was left for him to live?

He did not know.

***

Nearly a year out from the fall of the Absolute, Barcus Wroot finds he has the strength in him for one more go at love, after all.

Tags and rating to change.

Ao3 Stats (As of May 2 2024)

Barcus Wroot/Zanner Toobin works on Ao3: 1

Barcus Wroot works on Ao3: 37

Zanner Toobin works on Ao3: 7

Review (Mild Spoilers Only)

Warnings: Wulbren Bongle style Abuse, anxiety inducing procrastination.

Favorite Quote:

"Barcus gave Wyll a look of sheer exhaustion. “…They sincerely want to meet at half eight in the morning? I hope they plan to come bearing breakfast.”

He was only halfway serious, of course, but serious nonetheless. Even surface-dwelling deep gnomes — more used to the sun though they were — remained naturally averse to pre-noon activities, especially when deprived of much needed breakfast and tea."

Main POV: Barcus

Thoughts:

Barcus Wroot really shows off his Steampunk Bilbo Baggins side in this fic. To the pleasure of everyone but himself. His social anxiety in this fic is very real, and very relatable. There's a lot of secondhand stress to be had watching him get caught in the endless loop of anxiety and avoidance. He wants to do right by the Ironhands but he's struggling in his new leadership role.

Someone who's not struggling with their leadership role (or at least not obviously) Duke Wyll Ravengard! Who responds to Barcus' avoidance with delightfully cheery passive aggressiveness. I cannot emphasize how iconic he is in this fic. The patience with which he calls out Barcus' bad behavior while acting absolutely charming and accommodating the whole time. It was such a delight to read. And had me grinning from ear to ear even as Barcus shriveled in embarrassment. This is the Wyll and Barcus friendship I've been wanting.

As for this fic's primary ship. Zanner is so sweet in this fic. He's clearly very into Barcus from the get go. And poor Barcus is very overwhelmed by this fact. It's such a brilliant way to build up romantic and personal tension. It feels so bad when Barcus' anxiety and history with Wulbren gets in the way, but it also feels very understandable. Zanner is giving Barcus everything he ever wanted from Wulbren and after so many years of rejection, getting what he wants is absolutely terrifying for Barcus.

This fic so far was an absolute page turner, I couldn't put it down. The political and social tension in Barcus' life makes me want to keep reading. I cannot wait for the next chapter.

Who I'd recommend this fic to: Barcus Wroot fans, if you wanted more follow up on the Gondian-Ironhand relationship after Barcus took over, this is the fic for you.

How Unsatisfied Would I Be If This Never Updated Again?: I'll be honest here, this fic is on the hurt part of the hurt/comfort at the moment. The hurt is delicious, it's so true to the character and realistic. But it's currently left at the "awwww I'm disappointed in the character's actions, I want to see them do better" stage. It would be rough not knowing where this story goes, not gonna lie. But the set up so far is absolutely brilliant.

[maria-de-salinas]

Hello! I'm SO overdue to give you a big ol' rave review on the Vulnera Sanentur series, but I've been working my way through it this winter and spring, and I absolutely love it!! I admire your writing skills so much, and I'd love to pick your brain about writing inspo/strategy/etc.

So for the Fanfic Writer questions: ✍️🚀����🦋🦈💭🚦💛

I know that's a lot, so feel free to skip Q's if its too much! :)

Ahhh, thank you my dear mutual who never fails to make my dash a more fascinating place <3

(And if you're interested the Snape/Lily ballet!au is wonderful!)

Answers below the cut:

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

I'm not at all particular about where I write as long as it's reasonably quiet and comfy, but I love to write outside in the summer and as soon as I get a new laptop battery I intend to one of those coffee shop writers sipping gravely on a latte while I think about whether my characters should get it on in a library or the kitchen

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

Definitely outline, but creating as I go within that outline. Some of the best moments of writing are when the characters come to life and insist on wrecking all your plans for them. Which means the outlines keep evolving.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Definitely music! I nearly always listen when I write. It also helps set the emotional tone (sometimes too much and then I have to go back and tone it down)

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

Snape. Always Snape. Grey, ambiguous, complex, lonely, loyal, brave. Queer-coded, autistic-coded, masks in public, doesn't fit into anyone's box. And most importantly, someone who pickles slimy things in a laboratory and lines up the jars on his shelves.

Sometimes I wish I could get deep into some other fandom and character but he keeps calling me back.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Definitely Remus. Because at heart he is a genuinely kind and gentl person, but it's hard to disentangle from his passive-aggressive self-loathing and anxious avoidance. Which is so human and relateable but also really hard to pin down.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

As someone who loves people and is fascinated by people but is socially quite anxious, writing is a lifeline. I *have* to write. It's all about the vulnerability and intimacy. I'm an absolute fiend for these scared, lonely, closed-up characters learning to let their guard down and be vulnerable with someone, whether a friend or a lover or something in between. And letting themselves love in the midst of their grief, knowing that they could lose again, knowing that grief is, as told by WandaVision, love persevering.

(And on the smuttier side of things, I've come to realize that I have something of a thing for extremely repressed characters having an awakening. Which is why you tend to see a lot of Virgin!Snape tags in my fics. I also love exploring all the awkwardness that comes with being physical and how that ties in to being vulnerable.)

🚦What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

Happily ever after but with a touch of something to make them feel real, maybe? Everything is okay but the characters have scars or regrets or losses, or they love each other but still have conflict.

Bittersweet endings are so powerful and memorable and beautiful and I love them and hate them and they make me want to chew my arm off. I've only written one, a conclusion to one of the storylines in Vulnera Sanentur and The Bollan Cross. I think about it all the time.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

Write what you love. Always. Because there's at least one person out there who will love it too, and it's a story you'll always be able to keep and take with you. And if you're not enjoying it, you don't have to do it! Take a break, switch to a new project, write that self-indulgent thing you've always wanted to.

The asks can be found here, so feel free to reblog or let me know in the comments if you want to be asked something! I love hearing about people's creative process.

[edwarddominicemilio]

REMEMBER, SEKIRO, HESITATE AND YOU LOSE

After almost three years since my initial playthrough of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, I finally beat Sword Saint Isshin. It took me that long because I had been uninstalling and re-installing the game many times, often out of frustration.

I first played Sekiro on the second half of 2021. Back then, I was still in law school so I just wanted to have fun with what I thought was a button-masher. Oh, how wrong I was.

I barely got past the first miniboss, General Naomori Kawarada. When I beat him, I jumped out of excitement and exhilaration. However, I did not know how or why I beat him. I was mashing deflect like a madman, causing my character to flail his sword every which way. It was totally uncharacteristic of the graceful shinobi Wolf was supposed to be.

Unsurprisingly, my inability to learn why I succeeded (or failed) hindered me. I could not get past the Chained Ogre. I was angry. "This is not why I play video games," I told myself, "it's just stressing me out."

I quit playing Sekiro the first time.

I tried Sekiro again after I graduated from law school. This was around early 2023. I just took the Bar Exams and I had been waiting for the results. The discipline I developed throughout the Bar Review season taught me to persevere. I treated the game like a personal challenge.

I also learned how to strategize and to "play the game the way it is meant to be played". This meant abiding by that humorous description of Sekiro: "Sekiro is not an action game, it is a rhythm game with swords." How witty!

So, I practiced timing my deflects properly. I treated each fight like a dance. The opponents swings and I deflect. Then, I listen to that glorious CLANG! that everyone who plays this game knows and loves. Once I hear it, I swing my own sword. CLING! CLANG! CLING! CLANG! Deathblow!

Heavenly.

But there is a final roadblock just before the end. Sword Saint Isshin Ashina, back from the dead courtesy of his grandson's necromancy, killed me more times than I can count.

In fact, I became so disheartened. Was I not playing the game correctly? That can't be. In fact, I can see my improvement! Genichiro was impossible to beat in the beginning, he was a challenge in the middle, and a pushover by the end. I was improving, was I not? Why don't deflects work?!

I quit playing Sekiro for the second time.

After a year, I started playing Sekiro again on March 2024. It was a new save file. Unsurprisingly, everything before Sword Saint Isshin was a breeze. It was objective proof that I was improving.

But when I reached him, I was still at a loss. What was I doing wrong?

Then, I took to heart what he said every time he killed me, his ubiquitous boss dialogue: "Hesitation is defeat". This is not him mocking me, this is him genuinely trying to give me advice. "Remember Sekiro," he says, "hesitate and you lose."

So, I changed my ways. I stopped being a passive partner in this magnificent sword dance. I became aggressive, I chased him. I did not allow him any chance to breathe. He swings, I deflect. He prepares a big wind-up attack, I dodge. He thrusts, I Mikiri. But after each defensive maneuver, I swing back.

I made it a point to be the attacker and to stay as the attacker. Hell, when he hit me, I didn't heal. I just told myself, "Fuck it. He's not gonna hit me again. I can deflect the next ones. Retaining this offensive momentum is worth the risk."

That's when everything clicked.

See, the best thing about Sekiro is how much faith it has in the gamer's indomitable will. You had to beat the game straight up. No, you cannot summon other players or spirits to fight for you. No, you cannot find an exploitable grinding spot to level your character up. No, there is no easy cheese. You just had to "git gud".

And "git gud" I did.

A year ago, landing a hit against Phase 1 Isshin was a miracle. Some days ago, I got Phase 1 Isshin to almost broken posture. Yesterday, I killed Phase 1 Isshin the first time. This morning, I beat Phase 1 Isshin effortlessly. This afternoon, I reached Phase 3 for the first time after spending an entire day learning how to beat his dreaded Phase 2.

In a sense, the strategy to beat his Phase 3 is almost metaphorical. Jumping to meet the lightning and throwing it back at him is symbolic of how you should meet his aggression head-on.

When I beat him, I did not jump for joy in the same way I did when I beat General Naomori Kawarada. Instead, I just whispered, "Fuck. I did it," to myself.

I trusted the process and applied the learnings. Beating him was inevitable. I was not surprised when I did.

That's the way life works too, isn't it? One has to stand up straight and meet life head on. One has to take action.

Thank you, Kensei, for teaching me not to hesitate.

[owenmodeste]

Day 16: You Don't Blame a Knife for Not Working if You're Using it Backwards - Turn it Around

We had our usual Monday meeting yesterday.

ST is having great success on the doors.

He reminded of the old adage;

The fortune is in the follow up.

Very important.

I have not been following up.

Thus no fortune.

I've since created a follow up system.

I've been planting a bunch of seeds but not nurturing them to sprout/grow.

This is a pattern of mine.

I'm great at meeting people on a superficial level but have a hard time taking it to go to the next level which is more intimacy within the relationship, basically, getting to know each other.

I don't seem to want to get to know others, connect with others.

I seem to want to keep my relationships with others at a superficial level.

Like connecting with others somehow threatens my survival.

Seeing as to how human beings are survival-based creatures.

Unless they are really friendly and passive, I will re-connect with them.

But anybody that is assertive or aggressive, I have a hard time staying in touch.

Maybe it's mix of fear of abandonment and fear of responsibility.

Abandonment is stopping me altogether and responsibility is stopping me going all in even if I do try.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep people at arm's length.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect nurturing relationships that I've put in the time to create/plant, neglecting to water the seed thus sprouting never occurs and I'm just busy planting a bunch of seeds not getting anywhere instead of breathing, connecting, being patient, nurturing, watering, allocating my time effectively toward what works which comes back to fortune is in the follow up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and self-sabotage in the sense of not doing all that I can do in terms of getting results, being too structured, not changing things or reviewing why my results are not where I'd like them to be.

Thus I can justify quitting.

Because the methodology doesn't work when in actuality it is me not working the methodology the right way.

You don't blame a knife for not working if you're using it backwards, turn it around.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put in the minimum required effort to satisfy those around me instead of having the mindset of delivering amazing service to others and being rewarded for such service.

Self-Commitment as Self-Corrective Application (Practical Action)

I commit myself to implement follow up.

I commit myself to continue attending all the meetings because attending yesterday's meeting for example was very helpful with ST's share.

I commit myself to not stop at just meeting people but to follow up with them multiple times because fortune is also in familiarity.

And familiarity obviously strengthens as multiple connections take place, especially in person.

This is going to be a huge improvement in my business.

I commit myself to not only work hard but also work smart.

True efficiency is multi-faceted.

I commit myself the mastery of this very valuable talent which elevates all included.

[emmie-kuzulka]

Multicultural America: Multi-Media Blog #2 (Film)

A film that reflects racial tension and the unjust treatment many people of the African American community face is the movie Get Out (2017) by Jordan Peele. The movie revolves around the character, Chris, who is a photographer and African American man. His girlfriend Rose, who comes from a wealthy white family, invites him to meet her family for the weekend. Chris finds out that her parents are unaware that he is a person of color, and settles into a state of unease with his guard up. Once he arrives he is subjected to uncomfortable, offensive, and stereotypical treatment and verbal confrontation. From there on the movie pans out with Rose's family having a horrific sinister agenda, and Chris must escape the inhumane violent racism. This movie correlates with the topics and readings we have reviewed in our course, because it reflects on the violent actions and indescribable treatment African Americans and other demographics have been faced with throughout history. Artwork from the “30 Americans” website, the photograph of Emmet Till, and Karin Higa’s “Toyo Miyatake and ‘Our World’” are examples of readings that present relevant connections with Get Out. When it was released, critics and audiences could not stop talking about the movie not only for its unique take on the horror genre, but also because of the brutal reality of society in America in regards to racism and varying demographics. Get Out generates talk for the stereotypical associations white people often make and prejudice displayed nowadays in the form of micro-racism. Chris has to endure an uncomfortable get-together at Rose’s house with all of their family friends, also all white, and the varying blunt racists comments each make. Some guests commented on his physic, some on how they “know a black person, and even as far as outwardly staring. “30 Americans” showcases artwork by African Americans, and one of the pieces displays a similar example of something stereotypical being presented. Kehinde Wiley’s Triple Portrait of Charles I shows a black person wearing a stereotypical hooded outfit, and is made of oil and enamel on canvas. Another example I noticed after watching the movie again was how Chris’s photography was pivotal in his realization that he was in danger and that their passive rudeness towards him had a deeper meaning. In Karin Higa’s “Toyo Miyatake and ‘Our World’” there is information and reflection on how interned Japanese-Americans had their ability to take photographs restricted and they were not allowed to. In one scene, Chris takes a picture of the only other African American man present because of his odd behavior, which in turn causes the man to break down and become aggressive, disturbing the party. The parents are upset and ask him to delete the pictures and to refrain from taking more, unknown to Chris that it is because it would expose their agenda. Lastly, the picture we studied from the beginning of the semester, a photograph of a brutally killed Emmett Till, shows a similar violence that Rose’s family places on African Americans they lure to their families estate. They take away their lives, cutting into their brains and modifying the person that they are to make space for who they want. 

Work Cited

Fusco, Coco, and Brian Wallis. Only Skin Deep. Harry N. Abrams. Inc., 2003.

Get Out. Directed by Jordan Peele, Universal Pictures, 2017.

NA. “The Power of a Photograph: The Lynching of Emmett Till.” UMBC, University of Maryland, Baltimore County, 1956, https://fatwts.umbc.edu/the-power-of-a-photograph-the-lynching-of-emmett-till/.

Wiley, Kehinde. Triple Portrait of Charles I. Oil and enamel on canvas, 2007, https://nbmaa.org/pdfs/Wiley-K_Text.pdf.

[the-firebird69]

The Pontiac G6 GTP is Better Than Expected | Review

My son says his Kia had a 200 horsepower engine and it still pulled four people in pretty easily and it did we like this vehicle it's a good choice for him and he probably put some stuff on it to make it look better and they have all sorts of kits for these things so it is a choice that he could do and they're not much money and it's not too long ago and we do know what happens we think we know what car is planned and G6 is a term they like and he would have to purchase it and down here it's kind of hazardous everything goes through storms and yeah tomorrow's going to be kind of a little dicey and around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. it's going to start so we're going to have them close the windows a little I'll get it woken up on the other one and this is not going to be fun here it will start getting pretty wet at the mouth of the river and no it's a harbor it's going to start coming in instead of going out no it'll still go out but the water's going to be about a foot below the high canal mark and the tide will come in send me massive turbulence and it's going to rip some of that poop out but still about 2 and 1/2 ft almost 3 ft and some places and it's going to rip out inches and it will stink but it's going to flow right out it's a major incense getting it should be done by hand but Tommy F won't allow it and they all know it and they're in hell and they have have to try and get them out and they can't seem to move our son and he screwed around with the car insurance idea today and they're telling him he's all done and yeah so this is terrible this this guy is out of control we need people to know it and tell me if needs a lot more attention and he is just abusing the hell out of trump and they're into it and Trump is passing it down because he's kind of a passive aggressive sleaze ball and he can't trust him either and he knows it cuz he's now pronouncing it and announcing it. We have some other things to do they're pretty good sized and we are starting up several programs and are very huge and we do need our son's attention to come tomorrow and he says I hope she can instead of working on trying to get out of a flood so we understand that he doesn't have a way to move and it's already getting kind of dicey here with people too but he's got to do the job he says and today went very well especially the last hour and we are going to shine in the sky Trump is going to get beaten up for doing what the max smart with the max want we have several other things happening tonight around here there are neighbors who are yelling and screaming at each other and feeling for stuff and things and we are going to stop them and we want them out of here and this is huge action going on and they don't need to be here there's going to be a large number of people running today to the border into escape Florida the pseudo empire is invading and they have had enough a couple more points our boy is very patient but he's tired right now and he's a little bit loopy but she's used to it no she can hear it is actually thinking that he's fine he's just under a lot of pressure and he's not worried about it he used to making funny noises because he's still kind of a child and just tell me the stuff that's true too they came and looked at the water and he went back to stem and he said

You can't even see the driveway for the most part they're always getting flooded and it smells like s*** everywhere and Stan said keep your voice down said why he knows about it and then he said he's this guy we're fighting on trying to get it done and he heard a son was going yeah it's absolutely true he's constantly fighting the obvious so the idiot is back and we don't want him here and he is starting to threaten already and we are sending people to take care of his and erase them constantly. You do have a couple more points

-these people are nuts but this guy is a loser I'm sending people now

-we have a lot of companies that were taking in and we need factory workers by the trillions and today and tomorrow any experience.

-we have a lot of construction work and we need construction workers of any level and any occupation same for the factors we need office workers too and tons of them

-there's a lot going on tonight and we surmised a lot of it there's a couple more things that got added and it is a stressful situation the will eventually alleviate stress they are having a Battle above and they come here in case they need to kidnap him they say supposedly save him and we are able to direct him and his need evil people and we're going through his stuff all over and announcing his sins against his an effort to break him off this turned into a monumental task and I need people to know it please send it around and get assistance here ASAP.

,-we have a war brewing with these warlock we should not be giving them help and we do need a lot of trucks back but we want them out of our hair son of a double-edged sword

-we need to clear out tons of these guys it's coming up soon this month they will go up there the 25th and not too long after they are met up with Trump's people who are supposedly rushing or trying to take over all the observation points and they're trying to do stuff to them and it's just not working and you can see it throughout the movie and they are suppressing information then they're not and they're very lackadaisical and very arrogant and we need to cut them down so they stop doing this but this is going to happen very soon within two or three weeks because the 25th is coming up and it's pretty much the 14th almost and that's only 10 days and then the other rocket to whatever you call it transport vehicle looks like a satellite goes up there a day or two after and yeah we think that they write a satellite in it's really weird and they do it because they probably use something other than a rocket yeah and this kicks off a whole bunch of movies this is a gigantic event and bja starts moving people up there and going after this guy for real and he is slaughtered sounds like 2% by this Monday off Island and you can't pull people off it's horrible for him

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're going to move on something now

Hera

[denimbex1986]

'For reasons beyond my understanding, everyone is raving about “All of Us Strangers.” Four stars on Letterboxd, glowing reviews about how touching it is, fans of Andrew Scott (“Fleabag”) and Paul Mescal (“Normal People”) touting their excitement from the trailer alone. I’ll admit, the trailer fooled me too — until I had the misfortune of spending my Saturday night being subjected to its nonsense. No amount of mental gymnastics nor benefit of the doubt could make this movie an ounce better than the utter disappointment it is.

Describing the plot of this film is a particularly tough task because, well, there isn’t one. You’re thinking, “Okay, maybe it’s just a character-driven story” to which I say: It would be if the film cared at all about developing its characters beyond the one-note melancholic archetypal caricatures we’ve seen a thousand times before. Scott plays the leading man Adam, a lonely 40-something screenwriter, still trying to work through his orphanhood at age 12. On a whim (the film doesn’t deign to explain his motivation), Adam decides to visit his old hometown only to encounter the ghosts of his parents occupying their old house.

Immediately upon seeing his father, I had a million questions; Adam did not. Is this an apparition? Did Adam do something to induce the visit? Why are they only showing up now after being dead for so long? Could this just be a hallucination? The film refused to answer, and Adam refused to ask. Instead, the film has Adam take the exchange in stride, passive-aggressively telling the audience to follow suit in doing so. OK. Take the hint; don’t question it. Just let the story take you. This mindset works — for a while. It’s a flimsy, short-term solution to a serious barrier to empathy for the characters and their world. We don’t know anything about these people aside from their shared tragedy and a small part of their external circumstance. When viewers want to know more — to familiarize themselves with the people they are meant to spend the runtime investing in — the film shuts them out completely. These characters are not simply strangers to each other; they are strangers to the audience.

To its credit, the film manages to pull on some heartstrings through its portrayal of the tragic family reuniting once more in this liminal space. The family knows their circumstances are wrong — that the parents are dead and the young boy is now a grown man — and they dance around this terrible truth with tearful catch-ups. This aspect is most apparent when Adam comes out to his mother (Claire Foy, “The Crown”). While he has spent years progressing to the present day, where gay marriage is legal in the U.K. and HIV treatments have been invented, his mother is stuck in the ’80s. Upon hearing the words “I’m gay” from her son’s mouth, she clams up. The next time Adam comes to visit the house, he finds only his father (Jamie Bell, “Billy Elliot”). Still, I couldn’t help but wonder: Where the hell is the mom? Wouldn’t this house be occupied by another family by now? Where are they? I didn’t hold my breath for answers as the father and son had a heart-to-heart. They cry and hug and have an emotional conversation about the father’s remorse for not comforting Adam as a child. It’s a sweet moment treated with the utmost reverence, which is why it’s such a shame that it operates as an outlier among hollow scenes panhandling for stylistic praise.

The film’s attempt to aestheticize itself at the cost of an actual story became infuriating by the fifth excessively long shot of Adam staring melancholically out the train window. It wastes so much time trying to cultivate an air of faux-indie drama that it misses the chance to build the relationships of its characters, all of whom speak with the same toned-down somberness. In particular, Mescal’s character, Harry, doesn’t get the chance to be more than a grim plot device whom we are told has an innate connection with Adam but we never actually see forming aside from some sex scenes that do little to advance their emotional link. The two care for each other, but it’s a connection marred by vagueness in both timeline and definition. When Adam tells his parents he loves Harry, I was taken aback because I was under the impression they had met no more than a week ago. There is no sense of time or pacing, just a long stretch of poorly executed attempts at cinematic poetry.

I understand what this movie was trying to do. I can see the parallels between Adam as an older gay man who grew up absorbing external shame for his sexuality and Harry as a young gay man who was given more freedom by the world to express himself. They are both still strangers to the world that refuses to embrace them fully. It speaks to the inherent feelings of isolation that most people in the Queer community are made to feel — feelings that are seldom represented in media. “All of Us Strangers” simply doesn’t allot enough space for these themes to be fleshed out in any satisfactory way. Rather, it shoehorns them into a chopped-up plot about Adam’s parents. Yes, the parents try to understand him and his sexuality now, but most of their interactions are about their lost time together. With all of the empty space taken up by ugly transitions, it seems like these discussions could’ve found more solid ground to stand on within the dialogue.

At this point, forget finding out if the parents are real or not. Those questions are out. After the parents fade away completely, Adam goes back to reunite with Harry only to find his rotting corpse in the bathtub wearing the clothes he appeared in when the two first met. This means that their entire love story happened while Harry was a ghost or an apparition or a hallucination (still don’t know which). So, after going on an entire journey of acceptance, Adam now has to start from scratch all over again. The film refuses to give its main character any respite, and worse yet, it falls into the egregiously useless “Bury Your Gays” trope after spending two hours proclaiming the validity of Queer joy.

New question: What was the point of any of this?

Unsurprisingly, there is, once again, no answer. “All of Us Strangers” essentially took an interesting concept, hollowed it out and dressed it up as the main course on an empty dinner table. It plops its viewer into a new world without explaining the rules and wants the audience to care about characters that it doesn’t take the time to properly introduce. Worst of all, it started the plot down a one-way track leading nowhere. I expected the final scene to be a saving grace — maybe Adam at Harry’s grave, mournful yet knowing he’ll be okay — but no. We don’t even get the courtesy of closure; once again, the audience is denied. All we get is possibly the ugliest zoom out from Adam’s bedroom into the night sky. No answers, no plot and no ending. Just disappointment.'

[lijinggg]

"Then perhaps we can do something about that."

Did a major review of my perspectives about this project experience and expect this can help sort out my feelings to figure out some plan.

Evaluations stated, but there are also several points I hope to make clear for someone or at least anyone. So just in case there is no enough proper chance:

1. Passive aggressive in person. Towards not teammates or leaders but clients wow haha.

2. May complain a lot but actually enjoy many things and people, otherwise would not say anything but just leave.

3. Used to feel no ownership and wonder what is the point of doing all this, what is the takeaway for myself.

4. Stay to see the change without saying or hesitating.

5. Covering many things without getting any explanation or report to me. No meaning to push, hate aggressiveness, simply want some answer.

6. Never thank specifically for understanding my difficulty, especially several times mentioning how to confront with bu which is supposed to be my concern.

7. Management not there in place to improve the team structure. Show me how this team deserves it.

8. People all have more or less opinion or problem with everyone. No chance to like everyone, not to say full.

9. RI side contributing access, not all but some quite controlled only by RI.

10. Get into troubles with leads throwing things too directly to other team.

11. Used to be very critical, but quite agreeing and compromising, when keeping oneself running with no context.

12. Actually only want to talk to limited persons. Never want to waste a single second with wrong people.

13. Quite hard partnering with not strong enough nets when pjm pdm do not equally share the responsibility to intervene.

14. Can handle all these better if having the legit position to point out and solve things.

15. Tried of thinking of better ways to do things and asking partners to do.

16. Both sides do things quite randomly. That makes things quite hard to bargain.

17. Have to say to keep going, to move on, but actually do not want to act like everything is to be fine.

18. Would like to work with proper background info and big picture, need to more ownership! To legitimately step up more and fill in more gaps and manage things better for the team. (Maybe client facing is not my focus?)

19. Great honor to have shared so much with each other. (Wishful thinking, working together is only a trigger, real reason is that we share true thoughts, so why does that have to end.) Very accustomed to and comfortable with this company, really really never want to put an end to it. If it is myself that is not good enough, I only can and will remember everything, everything includes everything.

20. Weirdly murmuring and spending many mundane stuff, thanks for the patience. There could be some wrong expressions and sometimes mistakenly said the opposite meaning, thanks for always understanding and never getting negative, and always wanting to talk.

21. Very criticising, serious, but now no chance to wonder too much or stay at one point. Only want ownership.

22. Jealous. About the fact that engineers have the power to control things and work on things, principles to stick to, standards to defend, chances to take oneself to great career path and great places. Jealous to work with these mates.

23. Not so high client facing spirit. Need to mutually deserve it. Free and self-managed.

24. Stress from thinking about tasks. Relieved from actually working on it. Regardless of working time, ownership matters.

25. May fail to cover everything well enough. But step up to manage a lot.

These are all supposed to be chatting but turned into long text, just in case anything is missing and ends up never being conveyed.

What is to think when saying that “then perhaps we can do something about that.”?

What is the true experience of being the important engineer to support here and there, and step up when expecting no one else to fill in?

[grahamstoney]

Wife Swap

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/relationships/wife-swap-tv-review

Wife Swap

I love the TV show Wife Swap. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that they get two families from middle America who volunteer to have their wives swap places for two weeks. During the first week, both families run by the usual rules so the “new wife” can learn how they normally operate; but in the second week, the new wife gets to make whatever rule changes they want. Each family volunteers on the basis that they agree to abide by whatever rules the new wife chooses to set.

Invariably the producers choose two families at the opposite ends of some spectrum, be it religious, political, economic, traditional/progressive, or whatever. Today’s episode featured a real estate executive who was always on the phone and had no time for her kids, swapping places with a suffocating obsessive-compulsive stay-at-home Mom who home-schooled and controlled her whole family.

I always seem to find the husband’s reactions remarkable. They must know in advance that there will be rule changes, and anyone who has watched the program would know that the new wife isn’t going to be anything like their real one; so you would think that they would realise well in advance that they are not going to like all the changes. Often they react angrily with cries of “not in my house!” or criticism of the new wife; even when the changes change the power balance in the family in their favour. But they react angrily, resort to passive aggression, name calling, and all sorts of techniques to buck the new system that they disapprove of. However, something magical also happens as the week progresses: they start to adjust to the new rules, and begin even working with the new wife to get their kids to follow the new rules. You see the men growing in ways I would never have expected, and starting to relate more positively towards both their new wives, and their existing children.

Some of the kids welcome the changes, like the girls who were allowed to date boys for the first time; while others do not, like the girl who loved school but was told she was going to be home-schooled from now on. “Oh come on”, I’m thinking, “it’s only for a week”; you’d think she was being banned from school for life by her reaction. Somehow, everyone in the family is eventually able to overcome their resentment towards the new rules and the new “Mom” as the week progresses, and they start to see some benefits. The kid who had to return his new video game to the store and used the money to go to the movies with his mom was excited about being able to spend more time with her. Previously, he was just zoned out in front of the video game all the time; and he had plenty of others anyway.

The final debriefing session is always interesting too. Sometimes the guys are defensive. It’s not all smooth-sailing. But the conflicts seem to get resolved in the end, and people who were at extremes of the spectrum both end up finding better balance closer towards the middle. I think I’m just not used to people facing conflict, getting all upset, calming down again and then being able to go away a better person having learned something profound from the experience. I thought people just got upset and the upset simply boiled down to fester and come back another day. Yet it’s fascinating to see wives go back to their family with a new outlook, and an even deeper love for their husband; and likewise, their husbands having greater appreciating for their wives. Somehow the emotional independence of the newcomer to the family and the rules of the show give everyone the ability to embrace changes that they would otherwise find virtually impossible; and even though there are plenty of tantrums thrown in the process, everyone seems to be able to go away both with their dignity intact, with mutual respect in place, and with remarkable growth of personal insight.

Yes, they get set up by the producers to get into conflict, but they also manage to resolve it, and it ends up making a positive difference in their real lives. And I think that’s why I love Wife Swap.

[flyingkoalaandsloths]

Why you should watch Hikaru no Go (2020) Live Action

by me who just finished rewatching it for... idk 5th time now i guess... and I am having some emotions.

A very detailed and itemized review of the series is below. I would be happy if I convince one (1) person to watch this very underrated show.

What is it?

Also known as Qi hun, it is Chinese live action adaptation of Japanese manga Hikaru no Go by Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata

You might know Obata Sensei who also draw Death Note manga. So you know its manga already is awesome. There is also an anime adaptation.

It’s about board game Go and can be classified as sports manga/anime. Basically the plot is: a Go master haunts a boy and teaches him way of Go.

[The manga appears in the cdrama!]

So you have options…. But why should you watch the cdrama?

It's the cutest thing ever

I never seen anyone who watched it and did not like

Acting is very good especially the kid actor is one of the best I’ve ever seen

Do you want numbers? It has IMDB rating 8.6.

Although the story is not same as the original material, its one of the best adaptations ever. You will enjoy it whether you are a fan of the manga or a new audience.

The main character: Shi Guang (aka Hikaru in the original manga)

Look at him he’s so lovable!

He doesn’t know any Go in the beginning but he is a genius so he becomes one of the best young players in country in record time.

Young Shi Guang is so good at acting and he is so cute I love him.

[At some point he wears a t-shirt with "Agender" written on it so you can headcanon him as he/they nb icon]

The other main character: Chu Ying (aka Sai)

Not a Ghost!

Accidental time traveling spirit of a Go master of ancient times (Southern Liang Dynasty to be specific)

His goal is to achieve the “Divine Move” which is a Go term for a perfect play/move

No one but Shi Guang can see him.

He is Shi Guang's bff, mentor, and Go master.

He is a funny little guy (but not physically, the actor is quite tall)

Rival: Yu Liang (aka Akira)

Go prodigy and the son of 9-Dan Go master Yu Xiao Yang

He gets beaten by Shi Guang (actually it was Chu Ying) when they were children and he proceeds to construct his whole life around him

He is obsessed™

Actually both Shi Guang and Yu Liang are so obsessed with each other. They have this passive aggressive relationship which is so interesting and also (again) very cute.

Likes to hold Shi Guang’s hand and run

Friends! Friends everywhere!

Shi Guang is a very sociable character so he is surrounded with friends and family

His relationship with his mother (unfortunately doesn’t have a name) is so realistic and so soft. They are not perfect mother-son but they love each other and they show it.

Actually, Shi Guang is very affectionate with all friends so you might die from all the fluff.

Plot

Shi Guang meets with Chu Ying when he is very young. Chu Ying forces him to play Go. He plays for Chu Ying. Against Yu Liang twice. And enters a tournament and of course wins.

But he feels bad for the other kids who work very hard so he drops Go completely for 8+ years. During that time Chu Ying disappears

He is forced to play Go again in middle school because everyone thinks he is some sort of prodigy while he knows next to nothing

Chu Ying appears again and they play together.

Shi Guang then decides to learn and play by himself.

The rest is regular sports manga/anime plot.

Towards the end the drama hits you hard and rips your heart out but last two episodes are so fluffy that by the end you will feel so much better.

Ships? In this shipping website? More likely than you might think

So many shippable pairs... like all sports manga/anime fashion they come in pairs

From students to teachers... with the main pair being Shi Guang/Yu Liang

Other than slash, there are also many platonic options that you might consider

By the end of last episode, all your ships will be as canon as cdramas would allow and no I’m not kidding the final arc is all about being the perfect partner (in Go).

[light to my dark, sun to my moon, etc, etc]

All is good, what about down sides you ask?

Not many female characters or female relationships.

Go ahead then! Watch it! Enjoy it!

First episodes are in youtube!

(the videos cut last few lines at the end of episodes for some reason but it doesn’t make much difference)

[and come back to me talk about it if you like]

[screenshots and stills are from kinorium]