#I want him confronted with reality and people disliking him

[krussyarts]

they are WRESTLING get your mind out of the gutter, this is just a bit of wrestling between best enemies

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: gn!Reader x switch!Mark

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Under the desk blowjob. Edging. Overstimulation. Oblivious.... oblivious Mark..... He's more on the subby side for this one.

| wc: 3k

“How does London sound?”

You looked up from your laptop to raise a brow at your boyfriend who was sitting on the couch with you, your legs swung over his thighs while he slowly massaged your feet as he got lost in thought. That was what he spent the last hour thinking about? Really? He knew better than to ask you to go with him on trips, work or not.

When you and Mark started dating, a clear rule had been struck which stated that you could never, ever get caught dating— Not because he worried about his career, who gave a fuck about that? Mark was consumed with anxiety about you being attacked and harassed by cruel fans who felt they could say or do whatever they wanted behind the safety of their phone screens�� Or worse, they would confront you in person and threaten your safety. He tried not to imagine the worst, but the possibilities seemed to be endless, and he wanted to protect you first and foremost, so the most important thing was being as careful as possible; That usually meant no public outings. You two lived together, you slept together, you ate together, but you would never be seen together.

However, the past few months had taken a turn for Mark. He disliked being away from you due to tours and comebacks, so his clinginess had grown twofold, leading to some instances which you found to be tiptoeing the line between breaking your number one rule and just Mark being a good boyfriend. You tried not to care about it too much. You were both adults making adult decisions, and you knew how to play it safely… But that didn’t stop you from wondering why the Hell Mark of all people was willing to play with fire like that. Now he was throwing out the idea of London? That was supposed to be his sponsored trip for Wimbledon. You weren’t invited. You didn’t have a plane ticket. His hotel room was only reserved for one person in a king sized suite, thanks to his sponsors. There was no room for you, and the odds of getting caught were too high.

“Can’t,” you replied.

Mark rubbed his thumbs into the arch of your left foot. “It’d be fun. We can fly first class together, stay in a nice hotel, tour the city… I don’t think I could get you into the game, but… There’s plenty of other things for us to do together.”

“Can’t.”

He tsked his tongue with frustration. “Why?”

“Too risky.”

“Not if we put the flight in your name, get you your own room in the hotel so no one would think we’re sharing a bed…” He hit a sore spot, causing you to stop typing on your laptop and put your full attention on him. “I’ll put on hats and masks while we’re walking around—”

“We can’t.”

Mark sighed. “Come on. Just once. I promise, we’ll be super, super, super careful. And if you ever get too worried, we can bail. Just say the word and we’ll go back to the hotel, no questions asked. We can stay in all day, watch movies, order room service, fuck a ton—”

You kicked his thigh gently.

“Ow!”

But with a little more persuasion and a few solidified plans about how you two would pull off your incognito trip to London, you were convinced to go with him at the last second. Mark paid for everything. Your first class flight— Somehow there was still a seat available next to him, so he snatched it up immediately, despite the insane price gouging because of how soon the flight was; Your hotel room, a small one since you wouldn’t be spending time in it anyhow, it was just for appearances; And he made sure that all other expenses were attached to his card. He truly wasn’t wasting any time locking you into the trip. He wanted you there no matter what. Stupid or not, he wanted you there so badly… If it were at all possible, maybe in some alternate universe, Mark would’ve had you at his side throughout the entire trip, no masks or hats, no more hiding from the world. But alas… that wasn’t your reality.

You and Mark had to arrive at the airport separately. The paparazzi and fans were waiting for him because he was flying for a schedule which meant that it was public information, unfortunately; But you managed to walk through check-in and security smoothly without any issues. Boarding the flight, you were able to stand next to each other, but you couldn’t be caught talking to each other. That didn’t stop Mark. At one point, as the line was moving towards the flight attendant who was scanning tickets, Mark’s pinky drifted against yours, letting you know that he was there and that he so badly wanted to hold your hand. On the flight. That was the look you gave him, a promise that he could hold your hand for the entirety of the trip once everyone was seated and no one was looking. And that was exactly what happened.

Mark fell asleep on the plane, his hand clasped with yours under his blanket. He was in the middle of rewatching one of the Spider-Man movies when his head slumped to the side, his mouth fell agape, and he started quietly snoring under the noise of the jet engines that kept the plane moving in the air. He looked really cute. You’d never flown with him before, and you never really imagined that you would, so seeing the way he so comfortably fit into his spot in first class and accepted all the amenities and even fell asleep so quickly was baffling to you— But his fogged up glasses, and his brown curls falling in his face nearly took you out. You figured out about two hours into the flight that it was cuteness aggression which nearly had you cuddling him, if it weren’t for the fact that anyone could have spotted you two at any moment.

Mark organized having a driver pick you up at baggage claim because fans were waiting for him there too so he couldn’t go with you. You were pampered completely by the driver offering to take your bag, dragging it behind him as he led you to the nice SUV which had water and snacks waiting for you, and he even offered to let you control the music if you wanted— You were too shy to entertain the thought. When you arrived at the hotel, the driver helped hand your bag over to the bell boys who opened your door and guided you to the front desk where you found Mark already checking into his room as well. He grinned over at you while you both stood at the desk. The lady across from him was trying to ask him questions, but he was so locked into staring at you out of the corner of his eye that he couldn’t focus on the topic at hand. You, however, made your check in brief because your bag was delivered to your room despite the fact that you needed to covertly transport it to Mark’s room. Idiot was already there by the time you arrived. Life of a celebrity… Even though he procrastinated, he still managed to beat you everywhere.

“You like it?” he asked, looking around the suite before falling onto the bed.

You also looked around a bit. It was a big place with a living room, a big TV, a small kitchen, the large king bed, and a huge bathroom that you couldn’t imagine why it was like that. “It’s nice.”

Mark smirked. “You tired? Hungry?”

“Both.”

“Room service?”

You nodded.

Over the next few days, Mark was so busy with work that he was up early in the morning in order to let the makeup, hair, and clothing stylists in so that they could doll him up for the day, then he wouldn’t be back until late in the evening when everyone would return with him in order to take back all their work. It gave you plenty of time to explore on your own, but you wished that it were with him, like a normal couple. You knew what you signed up for. You weren’t stupid. But that was exactly why you declined the trip in the first place because you expected that being alone and missing him would suck. Yeah, the city was pretty in certain places, and it was kind of funny seeing fangirls running around with their Mark Lee photocards on their bags while they ran to go find him at his next public schedule. He even thought it was funny when you told him about your day when you two would be cuddled in bed together, catching up on what the other missed out on. He had a lot more going on than you did, but that was a given.

After the last day of his sponsored trip, Mark was finally free. Like he promised, he took you wherever you wanted, despite the many layers of clothes he had to wear in the heat just so he could go unrecognized, and you felt too uncomfortable to hold hands while walking around. Mark noticed. He was always observant about those kinds of things, so he didn’t want to push you, especially when he was slightly worried too about the amount of fangirls that were still roaming around the city in the hopes of “accidentally” running into their favorite idol.

In the evenings, you and Mark returned to the hotel to relax. Sometimes you would go out for dinner, most times not because someone could snap a picture of you two at dinner and have it in the tabloids ten minutes later with a headline about how the lead rapper of NCT was on a dinner date in London. That was a shit storm neither of you wanted to handle. And it wasn’t like staying in was a bad thing! You still got to see the city as much as you wanted to, and you finally got to spend time with Mark in London, so what was there to complain about?

Work.

There was always work. Being at the hotel meant that Mark got caught up in making music at his laptop for hours on end without realizing how much time was passing. For the most part you didn’t mind because he began around the time you were getting in bed, and you always woke up in his arms regardless, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. But there was one night you were annoyed. Before your room service dinners arrived, Mark was sitting at the desk in his pajamas, headphones on, music blasting while he worked on creating a new mix for his solo projects that he enjoyed messing with— You were pretty sure that he and Johnny were writing another song together too, so his focus was tunnel visioned on work, work, work and not his partner whom he’d dragged to Europe with him after begging like a pathetic puppy for so long. Was he stupid? Yuta probably would have smacked him upside the back of the head if you told him what Mark was doing. “Idiot, there’s a hot person in the bed behind you. Do something about it!” But Yuta would have to smack some sense into your boyfriend later… In the meantime, you had to make due with fighting to put his attention back on you.

“Baby,” you cooed from the bed.

He didn’t budge. Instead, he clicked a few things, opened another Chrome tab, Googled something, then went back to his mix.

“Mark.”

Still nothing.

You tsked your tongue and crawled off the bed. Mark was so lost in his own world that he didn’t even notice that you were only wearing blue underwear just for him; and he didn’t even budge when you dropped to your knees beside him. You rolled your eyes. There was no way his tunnel vision was that bad… Sure, he moved a bit to accommodate you as you skillfully made your way under the desk and settled in between his man-spread legs, but come on, really? He still didn’t take off his headset? What the Hell did he think you were doing down there, counting specs of dust? Sometimes he really could be oblivious.

When you started fiddling with his pajama pants, Mark hesitated, leaning back slightly so that he could glance down at you through his glasses with a raised brow. You hesitated. With a doe-eyed look, you acted like you weren’t doing anything at all, because he seemingly didn’t want to pay much attention to you in the first place, even though it was his idea to drag you to London. Mark warily went back to his work. Once his focus was elsewhere again, you continued to tease him. He let out a quiet gasp when you ran the palm of your hand over the crotch of his pants, feeling up his length that jumped with excitement. You grinned. Still, he eyed you suspiciously while slowly clicking things with his mouse and readjusting tunes with the mixer to his left. Then the tips of your fingers danced over his sensitive tip. His breath hitched, his eyes squeezed shut, and he adjusted slightly in his seat so that it would be easier for you to touch more of him. You didn’t enlighten him. Not yet. You just stared up at him with a grin, admiring how handsome he was, and how the blush on his cheeks was growing along with the erection in his pants.

To test the waters, you ran your hand along his cock again, content that he found you so alluring that he could get as hard as he was within a teasing touch or two. Surely he’d put his attention on you finally if you just… reached into his pajamas and pulled out his cock. Mark let out another quiet moan. But what really did it was when you held him upright as he was still getting harder, and you wrapped your lips around him, sinking down about half way.

“Oh— Fuck, baby—” His hands abandoned his music set up to tangle his fingers in your hair so that he could keep you on his cock. However, you pulled away with surprisingly not much protest from Mark who whimpered when your lips left him, and instead your thumb slowly played with his tip. “Baby, please…”

“Keep working.”

“What?”

You shrugged. “You’ve got a lot of work to do, right? You should keep working, or else Johnny’ll get mad when we go back home.”

“He won’t care—” He bucked his hips up in an attempt to get you to suck him off again.

“Oh? So it could’ve waited?”

“I—” He dawned on him that he’d gotten himself caught in your trap. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t even realize.” His head fell backwards when you suddenly licked the length of his dick from base to tip so slowly that you felt him pulse in your hand. “I’m so, so sorry, baby, please…” His hands unwittingly guided your mouth back onto him. Mark groaned loudly. “Just like that.”

He looked so cute with his headset slowly falling off his head, his glasses pushed all the way up the bridge of his nose thanks to gravity, and your name was being chanted like a prayer while it mixed with his moans and pleas for you to keep going. You couldn’t stay mad at that. Seeing him fall apart for you made you happier than anything else in the whole world.

“Use your tongue— Y-Yeah— Just… just like that… Don’t stop…”

You did as he wanted, patterning your movements between bobbing your head, swirling his tip with your tongue, and using your hands to play with his balls and the base of his cock. He whimpered pathetically. It seemed that you were getting to him, faster than you expected. The way Mark swiveled his hips desperately in his chair, and he finally knocked the headset off the top of his head and onto his neck, you could tell that he was already close to cumming.

You pulled away again, using that moment to catch your breath while Mark popped upright to look down at you with pouty eyes, wondering how you could possibly do such a thing when he was so close… Poor thing. Still, it was just as much fun to torment him as it was to see him falling apart thanks to you. When his breath was steady again, you went back to sucking him off slowly— Really slow in the hopes of working him up without getting him too close to the edge yet. It worked. Mark’s feet anxiously kicked against the floor. He groaned and grabbed onto the arms of his desk chair as tightly as he could to keep himself from grabbing you or fucking your face because he knew that would deter you from giving him what he desperately needed.

“Come on, baby,” he egged you on needily, “you look so good with my cock in your mouth… Wanna cum in your mouth… Wanna watch you swallow every drop.” He sucked in a deep breath to relax his body, recollecting himself. When he was calm, he put his fingers back in your hair and pushed you down onto his cock, letting you feel the way his tip hit the back of your throat, both of you moaning in unison. “Fuck, yes!” 

For about a minute, Mark fucked your mouth, thinking that he had all the control in the world, but once again, when he got close, you squirmed your way out of his grasp and sat back to look up at him from under the desk. He pouted down at you. Okay, okay, fine, just one more… It was fun edging him, but you couldn’t bear that sad look on his face.

You tangled your fingers with his so that he had something else to hold onto when you returned to sucking him off with hollow cheeks and your tongue swirling around. Mark’s grip tightened against yours. He boiled himself down to pants and pathetic little whimpers rather than begging you, probably theorizing that it was his neediness that convinced you to keep edging him for fun. However, you wanted to drag those cute reactions out of him to make him earn the orgasm you’d already decided on giving him; So you made sure to put enough attention on his sensitive tip until he had no other choice than to start moaning your name again, coupled with quiet, “Please, please, please, please, please, please…” that indicated his brain had broken so soon and so easily.

With another doe-eyed look up at him, you silently told him that it was okay to finally cum. Mark tensed in his chair in preparation. His thighs squeezed around your head, his feet kept anxiously tapping the carpet, and his hips wiggled desperately in his seat while you bobbed your head faster up and down his length.

“I’m cumming—” He moaned out so breathlessly you almost missed it. “I’m- I’m— Fuck—” With his hips hovering in the air, he finally snapped.

He came hard, his legs shivering, his hands tugging against yours, his cum spilling down your throat. You pressed his hips down onto the chair so that he could relax while you helped him ride out his orgasm. Mark hunched forward when “helping” turned into overstimulating.

“Ah, shit, baby, wait, wait, fuck—”

Finally, you gave him reprieve by slowly dragging your lips off his cock with a pop. Mark released your hands while his body completely slumped with relief, and he reached out to run his thumb over your bottom lip, collecting the little bit of drool mixed with cum that you hadn’t realized was there, then he slowly pushed his finger into your mouth. Take every drop…

“That’s it,” he cooed at you tiredly.

After you finished sucking his thumb clean, Mark rolled his desk chair back in order to give him room to readjust his pants momentarily before reaching out to help you off the ground.

“Come here.”

He welcomed you so easily into his arms and onto his lap. He hugged you close, kissing your lips desperately despite the fact that you tasted like his cum— Or perhaps because of that.

“I’m sorry I got lost in my work.” He pecked your cheek. “Let me make it up to you.”

“Better make it good,” you replied teasingly.

Mark chuckled. “Oh, I will.”

Carefully, he lifted you off his lap and navigated you towards the bed. There was a little more than twenty four hours until your flight home… Yeah, there’d be plenty of time for him to make it up to you and keep his full attention on you in the meantime.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I've seen a lot of people comparing Huskerdust to a healthy version of Stolitz and it's kinda got me thinking... Staticmoth as the evil fucked up version of Fizzmodeus.

THINK ABOUT IT!!!!! The parallels between Val and Ozzie are obvious. Like that man wants to be Ozzie so bad it's insane, from the way he dresses to the way he decorates to straight up OWNING A ROBO FIZZ, Val clearly wishes he was the embodiment of Lust. But are there parallels between Vox and Fizz? Actually, surprisingly yeah. They're both showmen, like aggressively so. They're very public figures, with their face all over every product in Hell(albeit Vox is doing it a lot more purposefully then Fizz). Fizz's antagonism towards Blitzø is actually pretty reminiscent of Vox's towards Alastor(except Fizz and Blitzø have a lot more baggage lmao), and they even share some aesthetic similarities! Specifically the colors of Fizz's robotic limbs matching Vox's overall color scheme. Which speaking of robots, that's probably their biggest similarity overall: they're both partially made of technology. I hesitate to say cyborg because Idk how much that applies to Vox, since object heads aren't typically classified as cyborgs as far as I know, and we don't actually know how much of Vox is organic(also cyborg is just one of those words I have an inexplicable dislike of Idk-), but like. Think cyborg I guess. Like Vox is a LOT more of a dick and probably doesn't have a very tragic backstory? Maybe? Unclear. But the similarities are undeniable.

Okay, now that individual parallels are out of the way, how could their relationship to eachother parallel Fizzmodeus? Starting with baseline aesthetics: they got the height difference. It's not as dramatic as Fizz and Ozzie's but TO BE FAIR, Huskerdust are the same way(their height difference is obvious, but not as massive as Blitzø and Stolas'). Staticmoth is also very buisness-partners-with-benefits and some hints at deeper feelings, which is how we were introduced to Fizzmodeus. I don't think Val and Vox feel the need to hide their romantic feelings? But tbh it could go either way we haven't seen much of their dynamic yet. That's kinda where the similarities I could spot find because see previous sentence, so let's move onto the differences!

I think a good way to breakdown what makes Staticmoth toxic Fizzmodeus is actually by bringing Alastor and Blitzø back in to compare and contrast how Val handles Vox's rivalry with how Ozzie handles Fizz's. In Radio Killed the Video Star, the only reason Val tells Vox that Alastor is at the hotel is to piss him off. He clearly enjoys Vox's reaction, and keeps egging him on. Teasing him about it. Which like, friendly teasing between partners is well and good, but Val is clearly just doing it cause he wants to see a fight and doesn't care about how distressed Vox is about this. Vox goes off on his own and sings a fuckin banger, gets publically humiliated, causes a massive blackout. Val doesn't really do shit to help him out, just kinda sits there and. Idk watches? Unclear what the other Vees are actually doing because most of Stayed Gone takes place in funny TV land where Vox is capable of bending reality to his whim for the sake of visual interest. But what Val is actively doing during the musical number isn't important so who cares. What's important is that he egged Vox on, convinced him that confronting Alastor right then was a good idea, and then just sat back as Vox got so pissed off he had a meltdown. Which I SWEAR I'm not trying to dramatize this scene it just sounds really fucking bad when you write it all down from this perspective. I think it's also worth noting that all of this is DIRECTLY AFTER Vox did the exact opposite for Val, calming him down so he doesn't make a fool of himself in public.

Meanwhile compare that to how Ozzie handles Fizz and Blitzø's relationship. During House of Asmodeus, once Fizz realizes Blitzø is there, he starts publically roasting him about how shitty his love life is. Ozzie encourages him, and even gives him a little congratualtions in the background when Verosika joins in for changing the subject, but the difference here is that House of Asmodeus takes place in a much more controlled environment, so it's less likely either of them will have to face consequences for being assholes. There's also how Ozzie's encouragement is just a lot more genuine. Like "yeah babe, go insult that guy who traumatized and abandoned you whoo!" rather then "hey hey look there's that guy you hate. You should go fight with him lmao show him who's boss." Then there's the ending. At the end of both Stayed Gone and House of Asmodeus, Vox and Fizz eat shit and die. Don't worry they're both fine like immediately after, but while in House of Asmodeus Ozzie immediately rushes over to Fizz to make sure okay, we uh. Do not see Vox interact with anybody but Alastor in the direct aftermath of his eating shit and dying, which is fair because he's in his weird little gamer cave. Then we skip straight to the Vees having a meeting to decide what they're gonna do about Alastor, and we don't really know what any of them were doing in the interim between the end of Stayed Gone and the meeting, so uh this part of the comparison kinda falls flat. But again something worth noting is that Val just straight up. Does not care about Alastor during the meeting scene. He's sitting there bedazzling his fucking gun BY HAND with school glue and rhinestones, not even paying attention to the meeting, despite being the one to get Vox all riled up about Alastor IN THE FIRST PLACE.

In short: Val encourages Vox to fight Alastor without thinking it through, doesn't bother to help out during the actual fight, and then immediately stops caring the moment the fights over. Meanwhile Ozzie, while encouraging Fizz to pick on Blitzø, backs him up the whole time, and while still supportive of his boyfriend, doesn't actively encourage Fizz to do things that would get him hurt. Ozzie also supports Fizz by refusing to let Blitzø have an Asmodean crystal because he knows Fizz wouldn't like it! Which is the exact opposite of pissing your partner off on purpose so you can watch a fight!!! And if that isn't enough evidence for you, then uh. I guess you could compare how Val treats... just everybody around him, really, with how Ozzie does(but that's more individual character analysis than relationship analysis). Or you could talk about how fed up with Val's shit Vox clearly is in comparison to the mutual support of Fizzmodeus. Or how. Val throws a glass at Vox. And breaks his phone. And then Vox has to scream in his face to get him to listen-

Idk how to end this so uh. DEMON ATTACK RAH!!! 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

[alexbrunn]

Throughout my time in the fandom, I've made canon ares for myself in my head. The ones that by default apply to all my ideas to one degree or another. Not all of them I love as endlessly as Pavcoh, rather they are exactly the ones that form my standard of perception of the game.

Let's start with my second favorite ship. Abella and Henryk. Henryk is one of my favorite characters, his problems are close to me, the fact that he is a failure in all his endeavors in art and love is so close to me... the fact that he will find support in a human gives me hope, because Abella can really give it. She is kind loving and understanding, but she also has a strength that Henryk lacks with his nature (all the times he tries to become strong from different sides: whether it be being a van in art, winning terms or at least confronting for Caligura just breaks down to reality). Well, and of course the dynamics of Henryk's male-wife who cooks and keeps an eye on the house and the female-husband (does anyone even say that?) Abella who works in an important scientific field and can repair anything is kind of cute to me.

Tanaka and Olivia appeared first as an extension of Marcoh and Pav and then they started to flesh out their own ship. Tanaka has always seemed to me to be a young, impressionable guy (he doesn't have a canonical age, but I don't think he's more than 25) who has just gotten out of his father's control and wants to see the world on his own (as much as possible). He is overly concerned with the great responsibility that has been thrust upon him, and he watches Marcoh's fighting skills with rapt attention. For him, who sees the world without the confines of family control for the first time and love appears for the first time. Sweet, humble and smart, just like himself, with equally obnoxious parents. He's willing to do anything to help her, with his shitty luck for trouble he's willing to go to town, even if a strong ally isn't around. Olivia feels for the first time that people are interested in her specifically and not her sister, which comes as a real pleasant shock to her. This is probably the best ship for the future, which will definitely have a happy ending.

I'll be sincere and honest with you. I don't like Karin. I have a hard time accepting her heavy character, which made me dislike this ship at first. However, I just can't deny how many canon interactions she has with Daan. Their dynamic is endearing in their heated discussions and disdain for each other. I want to see more and more of it.

Samarina - I don't want to pick sides in the big shippers wars. Both Samarina and Marilevi have a reason to exist and enjoy popularity. It's just that to me, Levi is a character who is alien to love and romance in general. He needs a friend, not a partner. So Samarina seems like a more logical option to me, especially after she can be rescued and put on a train. I think she could have made it, after a long time of rehabilitation.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere! Criston Cole (ASOIAF) Concept

Ironically, similar to Aegon II, I feel he is a pathetic yandere at times.

Yandere! Ser Criston Cole Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Noble! darling, Possessive/Protective behavior, Violence, Blood, Jealousy, Murder, Threats, Intimidation, Worship yandere, Stalking mention, Mature themes, Seduction/Bedding mention, Dubious relationship.

A way I'd describe Criston Cole is him being a... corrupted knight.

He's a knight who has done wrong things yet is often forgiven for such deeds.

He's a knight, but he's a temperamental and sometimes confrontational knight.

I have a feeling due to his nature, Criston Cole would prefer a noble darling.

He'd be the most upset if he fell in love with someone he was to protect, as we can see him having... relations with Rhaenyra and Alicent in the show.

He just seems to have a thing for royals.

I personally see Criston Cole as a worship yandere with pathetic qualities.

However, he can also be intimidating and dangerous towards others that aren't his obsession.

For the most part, Criston Cole holds his tongue and keeps his obsession a secret.

To a degree he still cares about honor, especially the honor of the one he protects.

As your personal guard, he shouldn't let his feelings taint you.

He's that lucid, at least... but his obsession wears him down eventually.

Criston Cole is someone who indulges his obsession in silence.

He doesn't need to worry too much about stalking his obsession as he nearly never leaves his obsession's side.

Criston Cole would follow his obsession like a loyal lap dog, thriving off your need to rely on him.

No other knight could protect you like he could in his eyes.

Due to this, he feels he's special to you.

He often grins and bears challenges, like watching you talk to those he dislikes.

After all he's meant to be your protector, that is all.

If anyone has control in this situation, it's you.

He's merely your knight... even if he wishes to be more.

Criston Cole hates the fact his position prevents you from fully being his.

Especially if you are to be betrothed.

In a way, being your personal guard is a curse to him.

Yet at the same time, he knows no one else can care for you like he can.

Criston Cole values your honor as his noble.

If anyone talks badly about you, the knight is quick to silence them.

He has a tendency to get violent or even send people to their death.

Your knight will try his best to be behaved.

But it is not surprising to hear of him slaughtering someone who dragged your name in the dirt.

Criston Cole would spill anyone's blood if it made his royal happy.

Yet when he is not defending your name and honor, he is almost lusting after your attention.

Your knight knows to quietly wait for your order.

He will stick by your side no matter what happens.

What he craves above all else is your attention.

He's okay with being silent by your side and defending you...

But your praise?

Your praise and attention makes him weak in the knees.

Criston Cole can be an intimidating yandere when his noble needs it.

However, behind closed doors, Criston Cole would melt under your attention.

Like any knight, he wants to please you.

Be that slaying those who oppose you, or touching your softly in your chambers, he'll take anything.

Criston Cole would most likely wait for his noble to seduce him, never usually initiating the act himself.

But sometimes he tempts you, often putting on a bit of a display to receive your praise and affections.

Criston Cole knows he can't fully have you.

The cruel reality haunts him.

Yet at the same time he doesn't mind deluding himself into the fantasy what he can have you when you're alone.

Regardless of whether you reciprocate his adoration, Criston Cole will remain by your side.

He'll listen to anything you say.

One order and he can stain his blade in the blood of your enemies.

Honestly, He'd wish he could do the same to your betrothed.

However, instead he merely imagines it whenever you speak to them.

Criston Cole is often tense when you're speaking with someone he doesn't like.

Jealousy churns within him when he watches you in meetings, forced to just stand by your side.

Your knight wants nothing more than to be in your chambers with you, to keep your touch to himself.

He wishes he could treat you like a husband, like a consort.

Instead he forces himself to settle for being your lap dog.

He doesn't mind being your obedient and loyal dog if it means you'll have him.

He has never been one for being the side partner... but if there's no other choice, he'll take it.

Just because it means he's yours.

Silently he wishes you'd order him to kill your betrothed.

Sometimes he wonders why he doesn't just plan to have them killed.

It's not like he hasn't done it before.

Criston Cole is torn between being obedient and just... taking what he wants.

He can be your obedient knight and guard, sure.

Yet maybe he does snap... maybe he does decide to just get rid of your betrothed.

He'll plan it, make it seem like an accident or assassination attempt.

But he'll hide any trace of it being him.

Although he did enjoy watching the poor fool bleed out.

He'd be more determined to do such a thing if he realized you didn't like your betrothed.

That's okay... He'll take care of it for you.

Criston Cole falls into the pathetic yandere category due to his nature as a loyal knight willing to do any order his noble gives.

He loves to be yours and will do anything to keep being your personal guard.

Yet he isn't completely pathetic.

He doesn't mind doing dirty work.

He doesn't mind spilling blood, he doesn't mind threatening those who could ruin his little fantasy.

Criston Cole is already someone who has soiled his white cloak.

He's not your typical white knight.

He cares for honor, yet often deceives and threatens those around him.

Any dark task doesn't matter to him.

As long as he's yours?

He doesn't care what he has to do to have you.

[eydi-andrius]

I loved your yoonbum piece! I feel like he never gets any love on here… :(

Do you have any relationship hcs for him??

OMG! YES! I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO SEE THIS! *squeals!!!!*

I'm so sorry, again! YES! I AGREE! YOON BUM IS SUCH A LITTLE CUTIE BUT THE FANFIC ABOUT HIM IS SO LITTLE! 😭

YOON BUM BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

- Let's be real, the only reason why your relationship with him works was because you two started off as friends and you understand him well enough to consider his meekness adorable

- Would always stare at you and ask himself how he was able to pull off someone like you. With his wide sparkling doe eyes and dusted pink cheeks, it was apparent how much he adored you

- Will cherish the ground you walk on, everything you love and dislike, he will remember them, he will carve it unto his brain, and he would make sure that everyday you'll know how much he loves you

- Of course, knowing Yoon Bum, it will become too much, to the point that who you are, will become who he was, you were just so cute, he would love to be the right one for you and liking the stuff you like is the best way to form a relationship......right?

- You will also notice some of your stuff missing; nail polish, the earrings you love, the new journal you barely wrote anything, your handkerchief with your name on it, he would claim he doesn't know where you put it, but you have a feeling he took it

- Let's say, you investigated and find where he was hiding your missing items, instead of being mad at him, you kind of feel bad and realizes that maybe the reason why he took it was because there's barely a thing in your shared home that screamed you two were in a relationship

- You will confront him, not because you will tell him that you found the items he took from you, but because you noticed that the Yoon Bum you're with right now is not the same as the Yoon Bum, you were friends with before and you loved

- He would be nervous, frightened and jittery, thinking that maybe you'll break up with him, since every confrontation and talk he has with people always ends up with them being disgusted by him or throwing him away

- This man needs tons of reassurance, okay?! So when he realizes that you don't plan on breaking up with him, instead you plan to get to know him more by spending time with him and creating tons of memories together, he would bawl his eyes out, and the whole night, he would beg you to cuddle with him and not let go

- His love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service and more on quality time. I know that it could be a physical touch too, but I feel like Yoon Bum wanted to be closer more than just physical. I think being physical is the only representation he has in his mind of being one with his partner, but in reality, I believe the type of love he wants exceeds more than that

- Yoon Bum loves when you're vocal to him. He enjoys when he gets to know you better and loves when you tell him stuff about yourself

- If you do anything for him without him begging for it, let's say, you surprised him on his birthday, gifted him this huge plushie frog, took care of him when he was sick, go out of your way to pick him up when he said, although jokingly, that he was so tired from work he thinks his legs might give up on him; your work is 30 mins away from his, would remember the way his eggs were cooked, would remember to buy the stuff he said was almost empty, would defend him on your male co-workers who looks down on him for looking too feminine more than masculine.....you got this guy forever, and he is probably planning when is the best time to propose

- The moment he realizes that your relationship is secure enough to last forever, you'll notice how carefree he looks like, how he smiles more often, how he actually likes to say dirty jokes more than you do, and just the epitome of being cheesy

- Kind of R-18 but I bet he would love cross dressing and pegging. Also, likes it when he is at your mercy. But gosh, if you allow him to see himself as the dominant one, you're in for a ride 😌🙏🏼

- Probably very naughty and would just send sexy and suggestive photos when he feels like it

- I always see him as a furdad or a plantdad. Although, if you want to have his kids, he wishes that they look more you, because he thinks you're so pretty, and the little you running around would make his heart in a puddle

- I never see a perfect relationship with Yoon Bum as just him doing all the work. Yoon Bum is very insecure and if he notices that it was only him who does all the effort, you probably already broke his heart (we don't want that in this house)

- Remember! Yoon Bum is a hopeless romantic too and would love to be loved back unconditionally

- It is canon that it will be you who will propose to him first, and the moment you did, he would laugh, because all this time, he was carrying a box with a ring on it, adorned with your favorite stone, and just working up the courage to propose when the time is right on your little vacation

[myfairkatiecat]

NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT i HATE KEEFE SO SO MUCH AND IM WONDERING (GENUINELY) WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE APPEAL

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR BUGS YOU SORRY IF IT DOES EITHER/BOTH

Hey anon! Those are some strong feelings you've got there!

This is a tricky question to answer since a lot of the things that make me like Keefe's character make some people dislike his character, so you might be about to get a list of all the things you despise about him by asking me what I like about him. I like him because I think he's a good character, and way better written than people give him (or Shannon) credit for. I don't always love Wattpad Fanon Keefe (perfect boyfriend, super sweet, always says the right thing) because it erases so much of his character. I like canon Keefe. He's a raw character with a lot going on and a whole slew of well-developed character traits.

Before I jump into this post, however, I want to say one thing: I think a lot of people who dislike Keefe are mostly frustrated with Shannon's portrayal of his character flaws, and I don't think they give Shannon enough credit for the way she's intentionally written Sophie as an unreliable narrator. It's rather clear during different parts of the series that Sophie isn't the most reliable narrator, and Shannon also explicitly writes in the margins of her annotated KOTLC book that she used a certain scene as an example of when Keefe takes his jokes too far. Sophie forgives him without even an outright apology in that scene, but Shannon makes it clear in her annotations that she, the author, isn't writing it off. I don't own the annotated so I can't remember the exact quote, but it's my biggest case for why I think Shannon has intentionally written Keefe with these character flaws, as character flaws, and yes, Shannon sees them as character flaws and has said so, so for the purposes of this ask response here, let's assume Shannon Messenger is aware she's writing a flawed character, because I do think it's rather unfair to her how often the people of the fandom accuse her of brushing by Keefe's actions when in reality she's just writing Sophie Foster as true to her character as she can.

With that, let's jump into this little essay about Why Keefe Is An Awesome Character And I Love Him that I've writtten for you!

My AP English teacher always used to say, "characters are more human than humans." I believe the purpose of this quote was that well-written characters exemplify what makes us human—our love, our experiences, our regret, our strengths and flaws—in ways that connect strongly to the audience. Part of the reason so many people like Keefe's character, I believe, is because they are able to connect strongly to him. This is because he is written as "more human than humans," as my AP English teacher would say—even though technically, he's not a human, but an elf.

One major strong point of Keefe Sencen's character is that his strengths and weaknesses are often wrapped up in the same character traits. This is something that is true for many people. For example, my politeness in real life social situations makes me a lot of friends, but too often can turn to people-pleasing. A good character, in my opinion, should have both strengths and flaws stemming from all of their major character traits. Here are a few of Keefe's:

His humor

One major aspect of Keefe's character is his humor. Whether you personally find it funny or not (I think I found it a little funnier when I was eleven... I'm sorta growing out of some of it, though his wittier comments in the latest books are more my style, which might be a sign of both me and the character maturing) it's an enormous part of his character. As a major character trait, it presents both strengths and flaws.

Often, he brings levity to heavy situations that the other characters appreciate. One instance I remember is in Flashback. They were preparing for a confrontation, and I don't remember what it was that Keefe said, but Sophie narrates that she appreciated the moment of comedic relief, because it eased some of her anxiety. Keefe is able to take intense moments and settle them with quick-witted (or hilariously not funny) comments. This is likely a skill he adopted in order to handle the crushing pressure of being in his own home as a kid. (Fitz, contrastingly, adapted the skill of just holding lots and lots of weight, bending and bending and bending until he finally breaks. Not to make my Keefe essay about Fitz, of course, but I know someone is going to point out that Fitz also dealt with a lot of pressure at home, and wanted to point out that he developed somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, they're just different from Keefe's.)

However, sometimes his jokes are unwanted or go too far. Shannon comments on this specifically at the end of the first book, where Keefe makes a joke about how he helped save her when she almost died, and then sorta trailed of when he realized he was talking about her almost-death. Shannon commented in the margins that this was a moment of Keefe experiencing awareness that his joking has gone a little too far. She hasn't released annotated editions of any later books, but I'm confident that at least a few other scenes are examples of this as well. Sometimes I run across them during a read through and I'm like "huh, it's interesting to have a good idea as to what Shannon was thinking writing this." Sometimes, his constant making light of serious situations really isn't funny to anyone, and it keeps him from accepting the gravity of what they're doing, likely contributing to his reckless behavior.

2. His intuitive communication

Something to notice about Keefe is that even though he's often socially unaware, either in ways that indicate his childhood trauma or just his emotionally immaturity as a teenager, he's very good at knowing exactly what to say for his intended goal. That intended goal isn't always necessarily something he should want, mind you—we just talked about how his need to lighten the mood sometimes causes problems, and he knows enough about some of his friends (cough Fitz cough) to know exactly what words will hurt them the most in an argument as well.

This can be a strength for him, especially when he's comforting Sophie. Since he can feel her emotions instinctively, he often knows exactly what she needs to hear. He's actually incredibly sweet at times, especially in Legacy (I mean... there are other issues there, which I'll get into another time). For example, when he's telling her the reasons Bronte isn't the worst possible father for her to have. There's nothing inherently great about the specific way he comforted her, but it did ease some of Sophie's queasiness, because he knew what she needed to hear. Also, there are the scenes in Legacy where he's telling her that Sophie Foster is all she needs to be, or the scene in Everblaze where he reminds her that no matter who her parents are, she's still going to be exactly the same person she is, and they can't change her. Keefe is really good at knowing the right thing to say. (This might have stemmed from walking on eggshells his entire life aroud his parents!)

However, this also makes it really easy for Keefe to be manipulative, or lie, or say the completely wrong thing on purpose. The best example of the first two was when he somehow convinced everyone in just a few sentences that he totally wasn't going to go to Loamnore with them. Somehow, the guy famous for not doing what he's told convinced everyone he was going to do what he was told, and the thing is, it wasn't even unrealistic. He gave really good reasons that it made sense for him to stay back, and even made jokes about it, about how he and the others not going were "too cool for Loamnore." He had everyone convinced he really wasn't going to be reckless this time, when he totally knew his plan the whole time. The famous Unlocked healing center scene is a great example of the last one, because Keefe got upset with Fitz and knew exactly what to say to make him the most upset and embarassed in that situation. He only even took back the words when Sophie became upset as well. He and Fitz are in... not an awesome place in the latest books, and his POV reflects that.

3. His courage

Let's be honest. Is Keefe a runner? Yes. But when he runs, is he running from a fight? Nope. Never. One of the major instances of this guy running away actually put himself in a ton of danger. He doesn't run for cover, or safety. He runs usually out of fear of himself, his relationships, or that he isn't able to help in any other way. If we really look at his character, Keefe is incredibly brave. All of the KOTLC main cast is. They've got guts. But a lot of the others have a more guarded sort of courage, while Keefe's is... well. Not guarded.

Keefe doesn't think things through, and sometimes, there isn't time for that. Sometimes, immediate action is necessary, and Keefe is great with that. Quick, in-the-moment plans are his specialty. He's not afraid to stand up to people who want to hurt him (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*).

But he's also extremely reckless (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*). Because his courage is less guarded than his friends (such as Sophie's or Biana's) he may be more inclined to carry out his plans quickly, but he's also more likely to not think things through fully and end up putting his own life at risk, and sometimes even his friends' lives, even when he's trying to help.

4. His caution and fight or flight instinct

To everyone who ever said Keefe's character is flat and his strengths and flaws never develop or change, what version of KOTLC are you even reading?! Like I mentioned above, Keefe's recklessness is a huge part of his character since book one, but now I'm here about to talk about his caution/obsessive worrying/the famous running away, specifically the second time. This is a relatively new character trait for him. It develops slightly after Lodestar/the first half of Nightfall. Keefe truly did learn a lot from leaving for the Neverseen and lying to Sophie before going to Ravagog. We're given an extremely limited window into this process, since Sophie had other things going on and Keefe's short story focused a lot on his crush on her, but Keefe noticeably steps back and stops trying to turn things into a "Keefe show" (as Sophie puts it in Nightfall) and attempts to work more as a team, which is definitely character development again. However, where he really learned his lesson was Loamnore. He showed up, again going behind Sophie's back and coming up with a plan of his own, and it ended with Sophie tied up on the ground and him being forced to undergo a transformation that gave him powers he's terrified of. While his recklessness didn't entirely vanish after this (his response in the end was to run away to the literal Forbidden Cities) but is definitely flavored with siginificantly more caution and an attempt to be genuinely responsible.

In Unlocked, Keefe noticeably asks for people to be kept away from him, including Sophie, so that he can keep from accidentally controlling anybody. He also stops using his voice entirely. These are actually incredibly selfless things for him to do. He loves to be with his friends (particularly Sophie for reasons) and he loves to talk! And neither of those things are bad! But he isn't willing to put them in danger. In fact, he actually sort of overdoes it in Unlocked, even asking for Dex to make him an ability restrictor. (While he's well-intentioned here, I think Keefe brushes past the idea that making one of those again might be something of a traumatic experience for Dex.) In the end, he's so worried about it that he runs away, but he does it with considerably more of a plan than he did when he joined the Neverseen. He knew he'd know the languages, he arranged a way to get his hands on human currency, and while Unraveled isn't out yet, the state in which they found Keefe along with some of the things Keefe described about his experience make it clear that Keefe purposefully learned a lot about human cultures and successfully blended in and made his life work.

His newfound carefulness paired with his classic instinct to run really encapsulate a lot of his character strengths and flaws. In the later books, it's actually a sign that he's developing as a character and moving away from some of his past character flaws, but like all well-written major character traits, it comes with its own drawbacks.

Another important aspect of Keefe's character is the way he is noticeably shaped by his own experiences. I mentioned the whole "being more human than human" thing earlier, and while yes, he's still not human, I think this is part of what makes so many people connect to his character. He's realistic. He has even more strengths and flaws than the ones I've mentioned above, and all of them obviously come from somewhere specific in his past.

Why is he so chronically unserious? Because he couldn't be serious enough for his family. Before he met Fitz and started spending time with the Vackers, he didn't even really have friends. He had a suffocated home and impossible expectations, and when he tried to live up to them, he just wasn't good enough. So he adapted to break the tension. He adapted to just... not try ("those who don't try never look foolish" -Fiyero in "Dancing Through Life," from Wicked. I think Fiyero is... very Keefe coded) and started skipping classes, breaking the rules, playing pranks and doing anything to cut through the tension. He dealt with pressure by tossing it off his shoulders and just deciding to not deal with it. Obviously, deciding to Just Not Deal With Things eventually began to hurt him, and he slowly and painfully begins to learn to have difficult conversations (but hey, at least he's getting there? I think Neverseen is where his development in that particular area becomes apparent, with the way he opens up more and even admits where he's really beginning to feel guilty).

Why is he such a master of knowing what to say? Because he grew up walking on eggshells around his parents. And when he decided to stop caring about his parents, he weaseled his way out of trouble whenever possible, and learned to use other people's emotions to learn things from them and get his way. "But Katie," you say, "reading other people's emotions without permission and using them to get his way is a very not good thing to do!" You're very correct! And it's an enormous indication of how skewed his view of normal is. What's the one Empath he grew up observing? His father. Look, he knows his parents suck, but because his parents suck, he has no way of knowing what is and isn't normal. Is his father doing this particular thing because he's a horrible person or because that's a normal thing to do? How on Earth is Keefe supposed to know?! Well, there are rules about telepathy, and there aren't any rules about empathy, so the external indications seem to tell him that this particular thing is normal. This is yet another example of Keefe's life experiences having a huge impact on his character.

Why is he so reckless? Because he doesn't care. Even his his most noble moments of bravery stem from the same place of not caring what happens to his life. It's the same reason his deep care for his friends' lives turns to quickly into self-sacrificial tendencies (which show themselves in canon on numerous occasions and usually don't even help). He has this "better me than any of them" mindset that's deeply rooted in his childhood trauma. Even though he's fought tooth and nail against everything his parents have ever said about him, he still has this ingrained sense of worthlessness. The way he says he "doesn't care about permanent damage" and tells Sophie that he's going to make sure he's always the one who ends up wrapped up in bandages and also has that moment in Unlocked where he wants to retreat into the darkness and never wake up? Look, we all know he needs therapy, but maybe reread that last sentence. ...Keep reading it until you get it.

And finally, what makes him finally learn to be cautious? Because he sees firsthand how his reckless plans are impacting the lives of other people around him, and if there's any negative trait that Keefe is NOT, it's selfish. Keefe may be occasionally selfish—you know, case by case basis, like most people—but it isn't a character trait of his by any means. He struggles significantly more with not caring about himself than he struggles with not caring about others. So when he realizes it isn't only his own life he's putting on the line, and sees the way it's hurting his friends, he takes an enormous step back, and even runs away for a time. Now, it would be great if he would start caring about himself too, because this poor guy needs therapy and his level of self-deprecation at this point is way out of control. But it is the case that he cares about his friends a lot (if someone quotes this part and brings up Fitz, I'm going to point out that their friendship has fallen way out due to actions and reactions on both sides of that relationship) and ultimately it ends up adjusting the balance in his character traits and their related strengths and flaws.

In short, Keefe is a lot of things. He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things. He reads like a real person—someone who frequently makes the same style of mistakes but does learn and grow over the course of his life. Every character trait of him stems from some aspect of his past. Shannon didn't write him with a slew of random personality traits—each and every one of them ties down to who he is and how he's shaped by his experiences. He can be a truly amazing friend. He can be a really horrible friend. He can be sweet and amazing and say the perfect thing. He can say the wrong-est possible thing with the intention of cutting the other person deep. He's a slow learner, but he learns nonetheless. His character development isn't a smooth arc in which he has trait A, event B happens and at the end he has trait C. That's common in storytelling, but not real life. Keefe learns, grows, then makes the same mistake again, then learns stronger. His character development sees both growth and setbacks, and the changes are subtle. He's still the same person even when he changes.

He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things, and I think it is out of an awareness of our own humanity that so many people relate to him and therefore enjoy his character.

I hope you enjoyed this essay, anon. Believe it or not, I actually have plenty more to say about any of these topics, and some other topics that I didn't even bring up, so if you want to see even more, just direct me towards what you want to hear and I assure you I'll have thoughts. Have a wonderful day!

[aha-chuu]

So many Kavetham thoughts

I wanted to discuss Alhaitham and Kaveh’s canonical relationship now that we know all of Kaveh’s character stories and voicelines. I will not be going into event or quest leaks since I have not seen them, so rest assured this is just the information from Kaveh’s profile.

Short summary: Alhaitham is two years Kaveh’s junior, and Kaveh befriended him out of curiosty, since so many people had a low opinion of him. Kaveh himself described Alhaitham as his “best friend” at this time, and when they met it was when Kaveh had just started living on his own for the first time (an arrangement he very much disliked, thinking of home as a “cold and lonely” place). They end up working on a project together along with several other scholars, but all but them gradually drop off as they cannot keep up with Alhaitham and Kaveh’s overwhelming intellect.

Kaveh attempts to help his peers, stretching himself very thin and burning out as he takes up their workload so that they do not fall behind. It actually reminds me of Alhaitham’s story quest, where the scholar doing all the work behind the scenes is unappreciated and eventually hits a breaking point, taking his own life. Before Kaveh can get to such a point, Alhaitham confronts him:

“ Kaveh maintained that Alhaitham was too much of an egoist, that he could be much better welcomed amongst people if he would just care about helping out more often. Alhaitham for his part pointed out that Kaveh's impractical idealism was just a flight from reality, and that it would come to be a burden on his existence someday, and the source of Kaveh's altruism was naught but his inescapable sense of guilt. “

And this is the beginning of the end. Alhaitham uncovers the reality that Kaveh’s altruism is not born of his selflessness, but instead out of guilt for feeling that he cannot inconvenience others the way he encourages others to inconvenience him. It is a cutting and blunt remark from Alhaitham, one that Kaveh cannot cope with:

“ Kaveh felt cut to the quick by someone who was his best friend. Alhaitham had seen through the reality that he had never been able to face, causing him to feel reality's bite for the first time “

And some people have pointed to this as the reason their relationship fell apart, that Alhaitham’s words were simply too severe and he ignored how they would make Kaveh feel. While it is true that Alhaitham does bluntly hurt Kaveh's feelings here, it took two people to split them apart - Kaveh's response is:

" Kaveh steadfastly declares that he regretted making friends with this all-too-intelligent person. The two parted ways in a single stroke. Alhaitham would remove his name from that thesis, while Kaveh would rip his copy of the thesis apart in a fury — only to put it back together with deep regret. He sensed that he would not be able to change his friend, with the reverse also being true. "

The nail in the coffin wasn't Alhaitham forcing Kaveh to face the reality of his life, but instead that was the catalyst for Kaveh declaring that he regretted his and Alhaitham's friendship. Considering Kaveh is Alhaitham's only friend (or at least, the friend through which he met all his other friends), I can only imagine how that would have felt. And ofc Alhaitham is an exceedingly rational person, but he does have feelings.

I thought that in their current relationship, Alhaitham had let go of most of his anger and Kaveh was the one still caught up in the past. After all, Alhaitham often seems teasing in his jabs, where Kaveh sounds more genuine. While this does still seem true to an extent, Alhaitham's line "where were you when Sumeru needed you most?" feels worse now we know that Kaveh was the one to renounce their friendship. They both were "abandoned" in a sense by all the people closest to them, but while that made Alhaitham reserved and self-reflective it made Kaveh cling on to those around him to avoid looking inward at himself.

And Alhaitham removing his name from the thesis, reflective of a clean break. Kaveh, on the other hand, tears it to shreds - he's spiralling, angry and guilty, but he also can't face the truths that Alhaitham exposed to him. It's important, imo, that Kaveh then repairs the thesis. I take that as an implication that he wants to repair their relationship, he just does not know how to. 

This can also be seen in Kaveh’s voiceline ‘About Alhaitham - It’s Complicated’:

“ Alhaitham helped me out a fair amount recently. If we were still as close as we were during our student days, then I'd be thanking him every chance I got. Now, though... I can't seem get a word of appreciation out of my mouth. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction. I guess you could say our relationship is something of a mixed bag these days? Honestly, with everything that's happened, it almost feels like the universe has been playing pranks on us... It's hard to make sense of it all... too much to process for one lifetime. I will say that it's not every day that you get to know someone like him — I just wish he could rein in some of the worst excesses of his personality. Okay, yeah, that's never gonna happen. “

I don’t think I can express how closely this links Alhaitham and Kaveh together. It’s not just old friends with differences of opinion; they quite literally make up parts of one another.

The reference to the ‘universe’ is intriguing - while Kaveh is a romanticist who would use this flowery sort of language, in Genshin fate is a thing that plays a huge role. And his confession that it’s too much for a single life time, on top of the fact that their research project was on King Deshret (of whom Kaveh and Alhaitham share qualities)... I am not saying there is a reincarnation situation, but but Genshin often does use characters to reflect their historical figures. 

 In Alhaitham’s character stories, it’s revealed he considers Kaveh a mirror:

“ Kaveh is a familiar face, similarly lacks familial attachments, and is the polar opposite of [Alhaitham] as a scholar — that is to say, an excellent mirror “

and now Kaveh seems to agree, as this is from the end of his character story 5:

“ Rationality and sensibility, language and architecture, knowledge and human feelings... Things that can never be integrated are what constitute the two sides of the mirror — indeed, of the entire world. “

I made a whole other post about this after Kaveh’s drip marketing, but there’s even more now. One thing I personally find quite relevant is their attitudes towards other people; where Alhaitham is an extraordinarily self-reflective individual, Kaveh obsesses over the lives of others. He speaks about wish to “rein Alhaitham in” and an important part of his arc through his character stories is recognising that: “the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change”. Alhaitham, on the other hand, obsesses over looking inward at himself, claiming that that’s the reason he enjoys Kaveh living with him.

Why are they so different in this way? Simply put: Kaveh is afraid of looking inward, of self-reflection because of the guilt he’s held onto for so many years. He’s extroverted and personable, he has no issue constructing the fantasy of his life for other people to see him through. But Alhaitham can look past all of that, like Kaveh says he’s the only one who truly knows Alhaitham, Alhaitham is the only person who really understands Kaveh.

But Alhaitham isn’t perfect - he’s so focused on himself because he can’t handle others. He doesn’t understand; he can’t comprehend why Kaveh acts like he does even they he knows him so well, and talks a big game about how emotions and logic combine to create human intention/action, but Alhaitham himself falls short of ever really getting it. To him it’s all a formula to be followed - he can get to the correct answer, but he doesn’t know what to do with it.

Kaveh writes in his journal about the project he and Alhaitham undertook, and it goes as follows:

“ Page 31: Some academic notes and architectural drawings. Postscript: "Our views are aligned, and they are complete." This line has been struck out. "Our views are contradictory, but it is through contradiction that more speculation and philosophy may be born." This line has been retained. Page 42: The cover of a thesis that has been torn up, then put together again. No postscript. “

Between them, there is this push and pull. They are completely alike but then entirely different. I’m not even talking specifically from a shipping point of view, their relationship is based around the idea that they are two necessary parts of one whole. Unironically, they would make excellent dual grand sages.

I’m really glad that Kaveh’s character stories dove into their complexity while not sacrificing Kaveh’s individuality as a character. In fact, Alhaitham talks about Kaveh way more in his voicelines than vice versa - perhaps a sign that Alhaitham is more at peace with their relationship? Kaveh believes that “Alhaitham never did perform a good deed unconditionally“ but in the archon quest, Alhaitham claims that he “does not keep track of favours”.

I think Alhaitham was hurt by Kaveh moreso than Kaveh was hurt by Alhaitham. After all, for Kaveh the painful part was being forced to reconcile with the reality of his life, it just so happens that Alhaitham was the one to reveal it to him. Meanwhile, Kaveh denounced their entire friendship just because Alhaitham told him the truth - that is a conflict based solely in their relationship.

They need to have an open and honest conversation, but Kaveh refuses to trust Alhaitham and Alhaitham never asks the right questions. It’s a genuinely tragic dynamic that could be rectified, if only either of them could do what they always fail to. If Kaveh could self-reflect on his own issues, he might be able to recognise that he’s partially to blame for their woes. If Alhaitham could truly attempt to comprehend Kaveh’s actions past “irrationality”, then he might get out of his own head long enough to wonder about how Kaveh sees him.

[swordfright]

What do you think is your most controversial dsmp take?

I got this ask a while ago and I've been wracking my brains trying to come up with something, but honestly...I don't think I really have many hot takes? At least, not ones that I'd consider controversial. Most of my controversial takes are about fanon/how the fandom interacts with the source material, which I assume isn't what you're looking for (but BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOSE.) I also have likes and dislikes when it comes to duos and shipping stuff, but that's subjective obviously and more opinion than lore interpretation.

I guess if you put a gun to my head, I might say these are my most controversial Actual Lore Takes, but they're not all that interesting imo:

The experiments in the revival lab happened AFTER c!Dream's incarceration, not before it. My understanding is that most people interpret that sequence as occurring prior to the incarceration because...why would c!Dream let himself be locked up, relying on his knowledge of the book to be his life insurance, if he hadn't tested the damn thing out yet?! This logic tracks, but I think you could also flip it to argue the opposite: that he also could have conceivably waited to fully test the book until after escaping. During the run-up to the Disc Finale, c!Dream was incredibly busy with the fallout from Dethronement + Exile + Manburg related stuff etc, as well as busy preparing for the confrontation with c!Clingys, plus arranging the staged finale with Punz. The guy was busy as hell and he was also like...still kinda in the midst of a manic episode. Also, keep in mind that while the book was his life insurance for the finale and its immediate aftermath, he had no idea that c!Sam was going to betray him. Considering all that, I don't think it's inconceivable that c!Dream may not have had time to thoroughly test the limits of the revive book beforehand, and he likely didn't realize quite how vital his knowledge of revival would become during his incarceration period. So yeah. I'm open to either interpretation, but I am partial to the possibility that the Vikk and Lazar necromancy montage happened after the prison era. And the exact date/location of the lab are never specified either, which makes me even more open to the post-prison necromancy option. Not a hill I'd be willing to die on, but a hill I like to sit on and admire the view from.

End of Las Nevadas is the weakest stream of the Las Nevadas series. I found it narratively unsatisfying, and not in a clever way. I don't hate that stream, I think it had some really interesting moments, but overall I'd say its messaging was convoluted and the tension was pretty poorly mismanaged. I'd be willing to go on about this if you want, but I think a lot of other folks have probably already articulated it better than I can. Oh, I'll add that I also have complicated thoughts about c!Slime as a character. Don't hate him, don't love him...but I am puzzled about the role he was presumably meant to play in the story vs. the role he actually ends up playing. I could go on about this in detail but it's late and I'm sleepy.

c!Quackity has very simple goals and motives, but his pursuit of those goals is oftentimes way more convoluted than necessary, which ends up making him read as a more complex and dynamic character than he really is (I like this btw!) Another way to put it would be that Q is not a terribly complex character in terms of motivations and ambitions (dr3 has rly good meta on this btw), but he does tend to needlessly complicate his own life and the lives of the people around him in pursuit of simple goals. I think one of his big failings is that he sees violence as an easy solution to his problems but in reality it just creates more problems for him. It's like he keeps failing some sort of foresight check, over and over again. Take the formation of Las Nevadas, for instance. Most of the country's members were intimidated/threatened into joining, not because they're people Q particularly wants to hang around with, but because they're people Q sees as either strong (i.e. they are capable of contributing to LN) or directionless (i.e. they're in need of an owner a leader.) Quackity doesn't really forge alliances, he just...buys people, basically? And then he's shocked when this backfires. His relationship with Purpled is the most obvious example of this, but also LN as a whole: in LN5 (?), Quackity's angry and offended and hurt that only a tiny handful of people show up to the opening ceremony, even though by all accounts the reason the turn-out isn't bigger is because the server has by this point become a chaotic and violent place where anything can happen to anyone for any reason and most inhabitants feel safer sticking to their own turf...and that atmosphere of chaos and violence is something Q has ostensibly contributed to, even before Pandora. c!Quackity creates a country that no one is truly loyal to, inhabited by people who are closer to employees than allies...and then his solution, when he realizes nobody really gives a shit, isn't to try recruiting people in a more equitable way, it's to bioengineer a slime army. That is insane. That is an insane way to solve your problems. In no way is bioengineering a slime army a normal or well-adjusted solution to any conceivable problem. This is what I mean when I say he's a relatively uncomplicated character who complicates everything - he's constantly jumping through hoops of fire to avoid changing his behavior and taking any kind of accountability whatsoever.

I have tons more takes but they're mostly about silly subjective stuff and/or fanon, so I'll leave that for another day if anyone's interested.

[cursedvibes]

Takaba, Higuruma, or Kashimo for the character ask!

Sorry this took a while, but here we go!

Takaba

favourite thing about them

I like that he's generally a good person, but also a bit morbid you could say. He doesn't want to kill or draw blood, but he's entirely fine with someone he likes doing it and doesn't shy away from getting violent if he needs to. Like kicking Hazenoki around or running Kenjaku over with a car or jet-ski is fine as long as there's not too much damage or blood. He was for example also in favour of killing the American soldiers because they could become a danger to them. He's also quick to forgive people for attacking him like in Hazenoki's case and with Kenjaku, where he tried to become friends with them. I love his overactive imagination, which makes his cursed technique so incredibly effective and gave us one of the best fights in the series (amplified by him having someone who played into his fantasies and sense of humour and expanded on it). I also really like his backstory. It's very realistic and something many people can emphasize with, I think. Also I like how he actually had serious problems with getting along with people and could get quite rough with them, it's very different from how we first get to know him. Gives him a more multi-layered personality. I hope he'll manage to improve his comedy carrier once all of this is over. Although I wonder how he will find a new partner and how losing the last good one he had will affect him, since he has already lost so many before.

least favourite thing about them

Don't really have any. I didn't pay much attention to him initially, although his introduction and the haunting look he had there always fascinated me, but I never really disliked him.

favourite line

"Marry me and be my Wi-fi!" (such a unique translation that even Japanese fans picked up on it and love it)

"Until when? Until I've done everything I think is interesting/funny."

"I had more and more friends, but could I ever find a partner?"

"I was trying to protect myself, so I just went with the interpretation that gave me the easy way out. I stopped confronting the idea of being a real comedian. I don't know when it happened, but I stopped taking comedy seriously. Because I didn't want to hurt myself any more."

"I will make you laugh so hard, you puke up your guts! That's my brand of comedy!"

brOTP

Hazenoki. I love how he saw Hazenoki through around his body parts and his attempted murder and was like "friend-shaped!" "we should team up!". He was even upset at seeing his corpse (although he got over that quite fast and certainly didn't blame Kenjaku for it). I wish they would've hung out together a bit more and that we saw more of them in the Culling Game and building some reluctant friendship. Hazenoki just lost a friend as well, Takaba could've given him some much needed company.

OTP

Pinchan! Actually quite similar to how Hazenoki and Takaba started out, except that Kenjaku and Takaba actually hit it off. Just like with Hazenoki, Takaba gets attacked, defends himself and then nags that person into going along with what he wants and building a reluctant bond. That other person just lost a friend and is feeling a bit aimless at the moment and is looking for company. Both of them end up losing their head in the end, leaving Takaba to find it. Except it went much better with Kenjaku, they actually formed a real bond and Kenjaku let themselves get swept along by Takaba, he actually managed to get through to them and found the partner he'd been looking for. Merely, the end is the same. But at least Takaba managed to leave a lasting impression on Kenjaku.

nOTP

Takaba/Megumi

random headcanon

He's quite involved in the queer community and has experience with drag. Contrary to his idol Centerman he doesn't tug, but I'm sure he could if he wanted to and he's no stranger to dresses and makeup.

unpopular opinion

I don't think he's stupid or an airhead who's entirely removed from reality. His backstory and life right up until the Culling Game show that, he just likes to overplay it because he wants people to like him and in experience that worked best when he played the fool. However, he's much more relaxed when he's allowed to take on the role of a straightman and let his true personality shine. Also, I hope he doesn't stick around much with the main group. Most of them don't really see him for who he is, take him seriously and see him more as a distraction who can sometimes be helpful/useful to them. Yuuji and maybe Hana are the exception, but the rest don't really care about him and for the most part just think he's weird and want nothing to do with him. He can find better people than that. Go back to Ken-san for example and start over.

Also he's hot.

song i associate with them

Glass Animals - Toes Particularly for the lyrics: "I’m a man, I’m a twisted fool" "I'm crooked but upright" "And all I ever want is just a little love, I said in purrs under the palms, And all I ever want is breaking me apart, I said to the thing that I once was"

Alphaville - Forever Young Vibe of the whole Baka Survivor arc, but particularly ch 243...

favourite picture of them

Higuruma

favourite thing about them

His bond with Yuuji and all the self-hatred and self-realization that comes with it. Yuuji makes him confront the parts of him he hates and also embrace his best qualities. Might be macabre, but I like them bonding over their guilt and suicidality. Besides that, I like that he isn't a born sorcerer and you can tell by his body and the way he fights. He's still quite athletic for your average lawyer, but he's not that physically strong, makes up a lot of it with cursed energy, he doesn't have as much stamina and relies more on his weapons and domain to avoid long fights. I'm so glad Gege didn't draw him shirtless and inevitably gave him a six pack that way.

least favourite thing about them

Don't really have anything I dislike about him. I wish his death had more of an impact though and stayed a bit longer in everyone's consciousness. I know this is the middle of a high-stakes fight, but if you compare it with Choso's death for example, it was brushed past very quickly.

favourite line

"I'm a man who has abandoned and been abandoned by the law. 'd like to be the one to punish myself in the end. It's just like you say. I think I should play my role to its completion and die in this fight."

"I've become someone who can't even look you in the eye anymore."

"I'd likely end up hating myself even more than I do now, if I were to stay by your side."

"All people are flawed and hideous. But at that time, at least until then, I believed this impurity that's not present in other organisms is something that should be cherished."

brOTP

Yuuji, for the reasons listed in "favourite thing".

OTP

I don't really have one for him. I generally don't really ship him.

nOTP

Again, haven't really seen a ship with him I don't like.

random headcanon

He doesn't eat very healthy, mostly instant food like ramen that's easy to eat while he's working. Or maybe he buys a bento at a street corner, but nothing that would be all that sufficient on it's own. And he tends to eat the same food or buy the same type of bento out of habit and doesn't think much about variety or nutrition.

unpopular opinion

I don't think his relationship with Kusakabe was all that deep. Like they're not a NOTP or anything, but I think people overemphasize Kusakabe's one sentence about risking his life.

song i associate with them

Couldn't really find one that fits.

favourite picture of them

Kashimo

favourite thing about them

They're a very fun, chaotic antagonist and I really like the two fights we got with them. The one with Hakari was super entertaining and had that type of eccentricity we otherwise only got in Baka Survivor and some of Mahito's fights. Love how gorey Kashimo is when fighting. Just ripping chunks out of Hakari, skinning his face, dismembering Panda, the battlefield we see in the past...that was some good fucking gore. Currently, we also get a lot of blood with people losing some body parts, bleeding all over the floor or Yuuji clawing into Sukuna's chest, but it doesn't quite measure up to what Kashimo brought to the table. It's not as viscous, you don't really see bones and intestines. They were also really innovative and surprisingly adaptive to such a modern technique as Hakari's. That battle had some good tactics. In my opinion their fight with Sukuna was also one of the best he had since switching vessels. It wasn't as technically impressive as Hakari's, but it gave us some very interesting lore about the Heian era and I think Kashimo's approach to the whole love topic was the most interesting because it felt more like an actual conversation where both parties listened to each other. They didn't end up agreeing, but the afterlife scene was really nice.

least favourite thing about them

Hm, they're not a very deep character, but I don't really mind that. Works well for them and I think their final fight also wasn't too short. Maybe half a chapter more would've been nice, but I think the pacing was good and I didn't feel like I was missing anything major. Better than unnecessarily dragging out fights...like the one that came right before... So yeah, nothing really to complain.

favourite line

"So if I can get out of this in 4 minutes and 11 seconds, I win. But that's what a small fry would think. Turn up the music and prepare your living funeral!"

brOTP

Hakari and to a degree also Kirara. They should've adopted Kashimo like a feral cat. It only makes sense. Hakari really knows how to bond with genderqueer people. There must be something about him that's like catnip to them. But I can understand it. Him and Kashimo had a lot of fun and fighting someone who is basically indestructible is basically Kashimo's dream scenario right after dying to Sukuna. Wish they would've learned something Hakari and Kirara's mindset, saw that there are actually people they could bond with right under their nose and that their loneliness is entirely self-imposed. They could've really spiced up the fight club. But alas.

OTP

Kenjaku. I like Kenjaku constantly showing up throughout their life and trying to wind them down to sell their soul to them. Like Mephistopheles and Faust. And the choice of their body when we see them together was no coincidence either I assume. Someone who's weak, so Kashimo would have no interest in fighting them, but young and seemingly healthy, showing Kashimo what they've lost and what they could gain back by making a deal with them. Also, they just look hot together.

I like Kashimo/Sukuna too, although more as fuckbuddies, I don't see them becoming anything more than that or either of them having interest in a long-term relationship. Kashimo's more emotionally invested, but I think with all that baggage about loneliness and love they'd have more interest in keeping it purely physical. Probably wouldn't know how to approach anything else.

nOTP

Haven't really seen a ship I don't like.

random headcanon

Kashimo seems to like animals, so I like to imagine them feeding stray cats back in the day and having a bunch of them who'd follow them around or show up at certain times to get treats. Maybe even did the same during the Culling Game. Kashimo asked Panda what he was doing there, when believing he was just a regular animal, so they definitely talk to any random animal they pass on the road.

unpopular opinion

Kashimo isn't a man. In Japanese Kashimo never once gets gendered and the official English translation for once is actually very faithful in that regard, so all the assumptions about Kashimo's gender are really only based on what they looked like in the past.

song i associate with them

Clarence Clarity - One Hand Washes The Other Kashimo and Sukuna. I feel the music also fits with Kashimo's electric powers and unstable mind.

favourite picture of them

[sarnai4]

Turning Point

Spoilers ahead. I really like specifically when Dagur helped Heather because a boring option would've been making him turn good right after she was captured. This isn't what happened, though. According to Dagur, he changed when he was on the island after getting shipwrecked and I think that makes his change (as well as what he did before leaving) more interesting. Dagur didn't save Heather because he was a hero. He did because she's his sister and he's consistently cared about her during the entire show, whether he was good or bad. It even messed up his own plans to do so. Dagur wanted to get close enough to get Grimborns to learn about the Dragon Eye, steal it, and kill them in horrible was. By freeing Heather, he revealed himself as a traitor. That didn't leave him with many options. From what we've seen, the bulk of the Vikings there are Hunters, so Dagur didn't have his Berserkers there to help with the execution of his plan. That only leaves two options: stay and get killed or escape and fail at your mission. Still, that didn't matter to him because of it being part of saving Heather's life.

Dagur does admit that it's because of Heather that he turned good, but it was later. What he told Hiccup about his reasoning fascinated me. He pointed out how only caring about yourself basically means that nothing matters. Dagur's probably spent most of his life being disliked by people. So, crashing on the island would force him to confront the reality that not only would his death result in no one being sad, the majority would most likely be happy. Yet, there's one worse thing to him and that's dying, leaving Heather without any family left.

I wish we had gotten to see him make this change, but I can understand the idea of having Hiccup find him when he's reformed. I just think it really would have been interesting to watch Dagur go from wanting nothing more than gold, revenge, and power to wanting to make amends and genuinely be a better person. He already protected his sister, but that wasn't enough anymore. Just caring about her was insufficient. Dagur wanted to show his care by also protecting the people she loved and working to become a better person so that being his sister wouldn't seem like a curse.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Hello, could I request a Morpheus x reader, where reader is an immortal like Hob and has been friends with Dream( and has helped him through some trouble from time to time) but through the years reader developed feelings for dream (but he doesn't know that) but can't confess (thinking they are not good enough for him) and just watch helplessly as Dream falls in love for every other being, until one day this recent lover of his was only using him to gain power, reader found out about it and confronted them (and was about to have a smackdown), until dream intervined and fought with reader. Reader tried to warn him but he didn't listen and banished reader from the dreaming, before reader leaves the dreaming for good she finally confessed to dream and was out of sight.

Soon after, Dream realized that reader was right and tried to find them and found them living with Hob (as best friends), confronted reader, they talked (realization of feelings ensues)and they got together.

Angst and fluff please, I recently read your Morpheus fic I love the subtlety and gentle showing of affection, I'm sorry also that this message is so long. Have a great day/night ✨

A/N: misread it and wrote an ending where the Corinthian tries to shoot his shot but I fixed it and all is well in the end!! The thought is still there tho

"Snooping" - Morpheus x Immortal!Reader

WORDCOUNT: ~ 3.1k Sandman-inspired playlist

London, autumn of 1763

Attending a ball at your love's fiancee's home sounds like a black comedy theatre play until it becomes reality - a reality you had, unfortunately, found yourself in. To make the matter slightly worse, Morpheus was indirectly the reason for throwing the party in the first place: one of his nightmares escaped and the current plan was to lure them into a closed space and then catch or whatever it was Morpheus had in store for them. Truthfully, you felt better not knowing exactly what he was going to do with the escapee. Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

In a funny way, Morpheus treated you like a god - came to you only when he needed something but you never minded that. He was great company, always making your endless life a little more exciting as days turned into bland centuries. As a word of explanation, it should be said that through "exciting" you should understand "with consequences possibly detrimental to all of humanity". And that one fateful ball wasn't anything else:

It was fairly recently that Morpheus had learned about one of his nightmares going rogue and leaving Dreaming on their own accord. His biggest concern seemed to be the fact that no one could tell him even approximately how long the nightmare had been gone. That, in turn, suggested the existence of a whole different can of worms - it was possible to leave Dreaming without his knowledge. No one's knowledge, for that matter. There was no way Morpheus could even guess the extent of the damage his own creation had caused in the Waking World, which was partially why he was all the more unnerved that night. His patience wasn't limited, it was completely gone. As much as you disliked his tense attitude, you had to admit that his sense of responsibility was to be applauded. He had to be a good king...

"Are you sure about this?" you asked him as you inconspicuously looked around the hall. The problem with nightmares, dreams and Morpheus himself was that all of them generally looked like humans. It was impossible to just vaguely look around and point at the right person. Additionally, the more time the wanted nightmare had spent in the Waking World, the more seamlessly assimilated he'd become, making it virtually impossible to tell them apart from the regular crowd unless they had a characteristic trait in their appearance that could hardly be hidden.

"Do you not trust me?"

"You're a few centuries and near-death experiences too late to be asking this. I'm just not very fond of a rogue nightmare going berserk at a banquet for so many important people or us getting into a brawl with the wrong person. This can end in an international disaster."

"Which is why we have to be thorough and quick."

Morpheus had gotten you into many more dangerous larks throughout the years but weirdly enough, it wasn't something one could simply get used to - each adventure was filled with so much supernatural it could hardly be considered anything else than a fever dream. No matter how much you've talked to him, his domain remained a great mystery to you and so did all things connected with it. Perhaps, that was part of his charm.

"Lady Ruth and I will look on this floor. You have to go upstairs."

"You want me to do some snooping?" you said with a small grin on your face. His expression remained unmoved - your continuous effort at making him use slang wasn't amusing. "Sleuthing?"

"Infiltrate."

"One day I'll get you to say 'snooping'."

"I will not."

"We have a lot of time." Morpheus sighed at your words and was about to leave your side to join Ruth who was chatting with some of her guests but you grabbed the sleeve of his jacket to stop him for a moment. His face looked strict when he looked at you but he was far from reprimanding you. "Just be safe, alright?"

"You need not worry about me."

You let go of his jacket and Morpheus marched away to play the greatly inconspicuous role of a loving fiance. His arm shamelessly wrapped around her waist and had she not been the lady of the house, guests surely would have pointed out the social faux pas. Ruth, however, remained no less affectionate and leaned her head against him. It's vital to notice that Morpheus was not an affectionate man in any way and so such a show of intimacy felt even more serious. He stood there, among the Kingdom's elite and looked like he was in the right place: similar clothes, proud poise and seriousness characteristic of people who had a little too much to lose. The fact that he fit right in was a low blow to you, mainly because you knew you didn't. Morpheus and you belonged to completely different worlds and there was no point in disputing that. As simple and crude as it may sound, he was just the wrong person at the right time for you. Perhaps, that's all it takes for a disaster.

"Put on your adult shoes and get over with it," you whispered to yourself. The sooner you find the rogue nightmare, the sooner you can leave this place and dwell on your heartache in comfortable and befittingly pathetic loneliness.

Pushing pasts lords, counts and viscounts you made your way up the stairs. Thankfully, the string orchestra was loud enough to deafen the creaking of the wooden contraption. It was one of those rare occasions where not fitting in was a blessing in disguise - no one was paying attention to you. Should anyone ask about you, most of the guests would simply shake their heads in confusion. Being invisible was something you had grown quite used to.

Most of the rooms on the first floor were locked but it could hardly be surprising - Ruth didn't want guests wandering around her house. Despite the mild disappointment at your detective work being cut short, you were thankful that you didn't have to waste your time and possibly let the nightmare escape. Trying each pair of doors, you had finally found one that opened but what you saw inside was nowhere near your expectations.

"What in God's name is this madness?" you said to yourself as you looked around the room.

Quite obviously, there was no nightmare in sight but another horror had welcomed you. There was a giant map of the world with certain locations marked in red paint. Next to those circles were pinned articles and charcoal drawings of people you didn't recognize. In front of the map was a table littered with random items and an open leatherbound notebook.

Skimming through the book, you found yourself strapped for words. It was something like a diary but with notes on Morpheus, his habits, people he knows and every instance the author watched him use his powers. Granted, their analysis was quite thorough and proved the maniac an intelligent person.

"Wait a goddamn minute," you whispered to yourself. Reading again through the witness 'miracles' Morpheus had committed made you feel like they had something in common. Some of them you had seen yourself and if your memory wasn't failing you, there was a third person present during those events. "Ruth..."

Hurriedly, you went through the rest of the notebook, still in disbelief at your discovery. It felt almost too out of character for the Ruth you knew to do something like this. Maybe that's why her scheme had gone undetected for so long... To your own horror and utter disgust, she had even prepared notes on you:

"Sceptical. Convince Morpheus first?" "Difficult to intimidate. Try coddling up to them." "Follows him around when they're together. Friends or unrequited love?"

"Oh my, you shouldn't be here, dear." Ruth's voice made you turn around in panic. It was like a scene from a thrilling book where the hero finally stands face-to-face with the villain. Unfortunately for you, good authors rarely make such confrontations beneficial for the protagonist. "I must have forgotten to lock this room beforehand. Come on, the mare is surely not hiding in here."

"Have you ever wondered what's going to happen when he finds out?" you asked. You could feel your whole body becoming instantly warm as blood boiled in your veins. For the first time since you've met her, Ruth's stereotypical lady-like attitude irritated you beyond comprehension: you knew it was just a sleazy facade. "Because he's not stupid, although plays that role very well, I admit. If you want this masquerade to fly, I'd suggest you already start working on a sobby explanation."

"Whatever do you mean, my dear?" she continued playing her role.

"Oh, drop this facade, Ruth. You and I both know your relationship with Morpheus is only transactional even if he doesn't know about that."

"You know nothing about it either." It was strange to hear her speak naturally and not in a pretend damsel in distress voice. "It's not like you have proof, do you? Those notes?" She vaguely pointed at the desk behind you. "Well, perhaps his fiancee has missed him dearly and wanted to know if she can contact him more often."

"Do you honestly think he's going to believe that?"

"Think about this yourself. Would the great Morpheus, king of Dreaming believe his soon-to-be-wife or a less-than-presentable circumstantial acquaintance who has been pining for him for centuries? What, did you think you're hiding your affections well? A blind fool could tell you love him and luckily for me, he's worse than that. Perhaps it's better for you that you've never told him. You've spared yourself utter humiliation."

You didn't quite know what Devil had possessed you but you suddenly found yourself smashing Ruth against the wall. Your fingers were digging into the expensive material of her dress, making the material stretch out and crumple. Instead of a grimace or a wince, a grin appeared on her face. You were playing right into her game.

"Did I strike a nerve? Good. Tell me, what do you bring to the table? Centuries of moping?"

"I don't give a damn why or for what you're trying to use him, you tasteless wench" you were gritting through your teeth with a mere inch separating your faces, "but be sure I will make him see you for what you really are. You worthless, lit-"

"Hold your tongue. I have seen enough."

You whipped your head around only to see Morpheus's brooding physique. His normally expressionless face was now reeking of contempt with the way his cheeks were raised.

"Oh, love! Thank the Lord you've come!" Ruth exclaimed as she got out from your clutches and run towards Morpheus. In an irritatingly protective manner, he quickly pushed her behind himself. "They threw themself on me, accusing me of all sorts of wickedness. Jealousy has made them into a monster! Yes, jealousy, my love. They've told me of their affections themself!"

"You... I have considered you a friend but you're just a treacherous beast."

"You can't be serious about this, Morpheus! Just look around!" You made a vague circular move with your arms. "It's a whole dossier on you and your power. Not something a loving wife-to-be does in her downtime, is it?" You stepped closer to him but Morpheus only further pushed Ruth behind him. "Come on, you know me like no one else. I've never lied to you, never had a reason to."

"I will hear no more of your poisonous words. You have meddled enough in my affairs. If you wish ill will on my future wife, there is no place for you by my side. I shall not see you in Dreaming either."

As much as it hurt, it was the last chance to save an ounce of your dignity and walk away without further driving a wedge between you two. In some way, you had expected that moment to come one day, when Dream has to choose between his royal duties and you. It simply would have been nicer if you had any sort of indication that this fateful day is approaching.

"My heart breaks for you Morpheus, for how blind love has made you. How you'd rather set the world aflame before a blemish fell on the one you love. I understand it. Even your harsh words that I do not deserve can not make me hate you, I can't even bear the thought of holding a grudge against you, Morpheus. Because I understand. Because I'd rather set the world aflame."

"Leave," he gritted through his teeth.

It was the last thing Morpheus has ever said to you - or so you thought.

London, winter of 2023

Hob was kind enough to let you live with him, the two of you bonding over the rollercoaster your lives had become after meeting the King of Dreams. With time, you had grown quite attached to him and ever since leaving Morpheus behind, Hob and you had spent decades pretending to be closely-knit siblings. Somehow, people never quite questioned your lack of similarities.

The inn wasn't in a busy area, so you had become used to rather moderate traffic on a daily basis. Outside of lunchtime, not many people visited the bar but it was just enough to keep the business afloat without raising any suspicions. It was the end of the day, which meant making a list of products you needed to order. Hob had a habit of sitting at a table in the corner, beside the bar counter, while preparing the said list - close enough to you to hear you counting all the ingredients he should order.

You were cleaning the counter as well as checking the shelves and cupboards for any alcohol you were close to running out of. "We're low on spiced Captain Morgan, Hob, so mark that... "your voice hung as you automatically looked towards the entrance upon hearing the bell ring," down," you finished quietly. "What are you doing here, Morpheus?"

He looked different than the day you had met him. Although he was an ageless entity, cursed to live until the end of the universe, Morpheus appeared older but more so mentally than physically. His skin was more grey than simply pale and his eyes appeared more stern and lifeless than ever before. He was wearing a long, heavy black coat - something strikingly different from the embarrassing rococo fashion of the 18th century.

"I have come to make amends," he stated.

You didn't answer right away. For a moment, you simply stared at him, perhaps partially in disbelief that this reunion was actually happening and out of his will. Despite his change in appearance, a certain tactless pragmatism still stuck to him. "You're not even going to ask?"

"Excuse me?"

"Two hundred and sixty years we haven't talked and you show up expecting me to listen and forgive you but you refuse to even ask how I've been?"

"How have you been?" Surprisingly, he didn't show defiance. The past two hundred years really must have changed him.

A scoff of disbelief left your mouth. "Awful, miserable, not good at all but Hob is a lovely person to be around. If you think that saying 'I'm sorry' is going to fix anything, you're so wrong I lack the words to express it."

"Are you angry with me?" He sounded... surprised. Maybe he really did believe that with humans 'time heals wounds'. What an awful saying that was! Time, at best, makes one forget the pain or even the existence of the wound. The scar, however, never forgets the wound it once was and it refuses to disappear simply because its owner hadn't scratched it open in a while.

"I was once. Over two hundred years ago. Now I'm just hurt and disappointed. I thought we trusted each other. Have you ever counted how many times I nearly died while helping you out?"

Morpheus stared at you in silence and you could already tell he did know. He kept count.

"I do not expect you to forgive me, although I do wish for that."

"Believe me, Morpheus, I want that too. But I have suffered enough, don't you think?"

"I was wrong."

"About?"

"About Ruth. You were right and I refused to listen. I was too blind to see through her lies and schemes. I never should have doubted your loyalty and honesty."

"And what does that enlightenment have to do with me?" For someone who explicitly came to apologize, he was very good at avoiding commitment to that resolution.

"I'm... sorry," he spat out. As a king, he wasn't quite used to making apologies but if he so desired to commune with humanity it was high time he learns to.

"I told you that this isn't going to fix anything."

Morpheus sighed heavily as if he knew what he had to do but refused to commit to it all the same. "Snooping," he murmured under his nose.

Your lips curved into a grin. "You really are desperate to be saying that." Truthfully, it was difficult for you to hold back laughter. After so much heartache and lack of closure, that was the one thing Morpheus thought would get you to forgive him. But, maybe, if he was willing to do that one thing he refused to do for many centuries he was honest and truly desired your forgiveness.

For the first time in so long, he looked you in the eye. His normally intense stare was now slightly vacant as if he was still pondering something, weighing out the chances of success of whatever it was he had on mind.

"It was either that or setting the world aflame," he finally said. "Have me back, please."

Did you... hear that right? A complete emptiness took over your mind. You remembered your confession very well as if you had spoken it no earlier than yesterday. Truthfully, you never really thought he would pay it any attention. After all, if he was happily married like you had assumed until today, why would he? Turns out, he must have thought about so many times that not a word of it slipped his mind.

As if taking advantage of your sudden moment of confusion, Morpheus reached out to grab your hand. Once he cradled your palm with his, he placed a chaste kiss on it. His confession was about as honest as an eldritch king can get.

Hob only craned his neck further to get a better look at the two of you. A smile of relief appeared on his face - he had been waiting for that moment ever since he saw Morpheus and you together.

[council-of-beetroot]

I had a dream I published this without making it anonymous lmao

I like ameliet only if it's done well. In my own family, people like my great great grandmother came to America at the age of 16 alone so I have that connection to the eastern European immigrant experience that Tolys has.

Seeing my last post this is hypocritical but it's not like I care that much because I read anything and will still enjoy it.

Common things I see in ameliet that I dislike

Alfred being interested in Tolys' culture

Especially during this era, assimilation was expected of any immigrants at the time. I don't see Alfred learning Lithuanian or learning Lithuanian cooking or whatever because all that was seen as something you left at the docks the moment you stepped foot in America as an immigrant during those times

The 1920s itself

I know it's canon but I personally in my fics have the outsourcing somewhere between 1890-1915. This is because in 1921 the us restricted immigration based on race and ethnicity so that the only people that could really move to America were Canadians or Western Europe such as the UK or Sweden. But I won't complain since it is canon.

Alfred as Tolys' saviour

I think this is just one annoys me because America has very little to do with say things like Lithuanian independence and the like. Also the way I see it depicted often renders Lithuania completely powerless and unable to lift himself up.

Now onto the other thoughts

I want to see more in outsourcing fics someone calling Tolys polish or Russian as at the time you could be labelled on papers as Russian despite not being ethnically Russian because your country was a part of Russia. For example my Great Great Grandfather's records are listed in the Russians to America files.

if it's the 1920s even better because you can have someone calling Tolys a Pollack and he gets pissed off, but not because it was meant as an insult but because how dare they mistake him for ugh a pole. 1920s is like the worst points for Tolys and Lithuania.

More red scare stuff too please

Tolys confronting the difference between his own experiences living with Alfred and his countrymen who are living in America working backbreaking jobs in poverty with little support. Yeah my great great grandfather ignacy for example was a miner upon immigrating to America. The work was literally back breaking in his case and he fractured his dorsal vertibrae which is incredibly painful but he managed to live with it for nearly 18 years until he got septicemia and died at 52. American dream amiright? There were instances where immigrants who tried to unionize were met with violence. I just think it would be interesting to see tolys grapple with this as he knows what it is like to work in a hostile environment.

Cold war era for example, I think Tolys would also have to grapple with the fact that he has romanticized America like literally as such a great place and Alfred is so much better than Ivan. So then when say Alfred does equally dumb stuff Liet finds it hard to take in.

1992 Barcelona Olympics these two and basketball. Read my basketball fic okay

Tolys thinking that certain things are normal American things as he doesn't realize it's literally something only Alfred does

The Feliks and The Baltics thinking Liet is an Expert about america but his knowledge no longer useful as it's been how many years. Same with slang

Tolys sabotaging his own relationship with Alfred because he thinks Alfred will manipulate him or end up hurting him like past relationships.

Tolys realizing Alfred's naïvete like omfg this is so good. Also Alfred turning to Tolys as almost a mentor or source of advice because Alfred on a nation scale is quite young

Also Alfred not grasping the reality of his actions because he has never been in a place where he has lost that power or been at the mercy of others while powerless. But Tolys is like wait a minute

Tolys having known both Alfred and Ivan and seeing what makes them different and quite similar

The awkwardness of moving in with someone you don't know well

Here is my fic that has ameliet as the backdrop of the fic

[gohjuo]

GOJO'S DEEP CONNECTION TO BUDDHISM

      SIX ELEMENTS 

to first understand gojo's deep connection to buddhism, it's important to talk about esoteric buddhism and the six elements. very similar to china's five elements esoteric buddhism has the five elements as: earth, water, fire, air/wind, space/void. however, esoteric buddhism as one additional element the mind. gojo's powers involve space ( his manipulation of space itself and his domain expansion being called unlimited void ). gojo's journey to becoming the strongest was not complete until he opened his mind. as stated, by adding the sixth element the mind, it creates a unity between all five elements. if one lacks the sixth element, ordinary eyes see only the differientated forms/appearances.

          this ties in with the fact that gojo's eyes allow him to see things most people cannot see ( people's souls in colors, reading the flow of cursed energy, viewing of his opponent's cursed technique, object dection with or without cursed energy, & being able to see kilometers away ). it can also be said that being born as the six eyes user brought balance, a connection to how the mind element creates unity.

          SATORI

      in zen buddhism, this is the term for awakening in japanese zen buddhism. it means comprehension, understanding. the word is derived from the japanese verb satoru, who's first name is satoru? gojo's. to put it further, satori refers to an awakening or apprehension of the true nature of reality. it's used to describe an experience that can't be expressed via words. gojo goes through his enlightenment, his death, and never does he really talk about what he went through. he talks about an indescribable feeling, feelng the whole world, this connection to it and to feel everything happening, but if anyone were to ask him how he felt touching the core of cursed energy he would not be able to explain it properly. it is an experience he will never fully properly explain. 

    another way this ties into gojo is that his confrontation with toji, is something of an antagonistic one. in the way, that after the second fight he truly dislikes having a lack of control, he doesn't want to feel hepless, or be helpless with all the immense power that he has. gojo is forced to face the reality of defeat, the reality of having little control at all, and the fact that he didn't fully realize the capabilities of his powers. in the modern era of jujutsu, gojo is the standard.

          ALLUSIONS TO OTHER FIGURES IN BUDDHISM

VAIROCANA         part of the five great buddhas or the five tathāgatas, they are seen as the five representations of the adi-buddha ( aka the first buddha). vairocana is associated with the color white ( gojo's hair is white ), vairocana represents the element of space, which coincides with gojo's technique and ability manipulate space itself. the cardinal direction vairocana represents is the center and the season they represent is a transition. gojo could be considered a big transition in the way the jujutsu world operated as, again his birth balanced out the jujutsu world. it is also a big transition in being dubbed the strongest sorcerer of his era.

MARICI

       a goddess associated with the light and sun. alternatively, in japan she is also associated with light or mirage and was invoked to escape enemies. she has several depictions and in some she carries the lotus with her. in gojo's dream/death sequence, there is a drawing of a lotus flower. the lotus flower in buddhism represents purity, spiritual awakening, and faiththfulness. it also symbolizes rebirth ( which will be furthered tied down to another section ) and the implications of nanami and gojo's conversation hints at a rebirth of some sort.

        THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE FOUR DIRECTIONS

    in buddhism, there is great importance in north, east, south, and west. for this particular post i will be focusing on the two directions of north and south.

     "I ONCE ASKED MEI-SAN ABOUT WHERE I SHOULD LIVE. SHE SAID IF YOU'D LIKE TO BECOME SOMEONE NEW. GO NORTH."

        the north is considered a symbol of stability, a fixed goal that never wavers. it also represents unshakeable conviction. when your will is strong, you are under the protection of the guide of the north. when you become unstable, the grace of god pulls you in the right direction. it should be noted that gojo does say i see, gives a wave. in my opinion, it implicates that gojo has determined to go north. gojo is also the type of person who has a strong conviction, his will to ensure that the future of jujutsu sorcery can be on his level, to be strong enough to compete with himself, so that they never have to endure what he/geto went through. gojo is someone who will always aim higher to break the ceiling even if he is the ceiling. 

       alternatively, there is another direction that is mentioned in said chapter:

"IF YOU'D LIKE TO RETURN TO WHO YOU WERE, GO SOUTH." 

        the south is associated with death. it offers complete rest. when the body can no longer lead us down our path, the protector of the south, yama raja, lord of death, ensures we get rid of our vehicle ( the body )  and gives us a new one. the catch is that in general, we form attachments to our body, mind, and senses and we have a hard time of letting go. however, once someone does they will find that 'long sleep' is a restful. this line goes in hand with nanami who doesn't hesitate to go south, stuck in the past since he still had attachments to haibara, and in a sense yuji. but at the end of it he was able to let go.

[queen-scribbles]

taris agent story mention trap card activated; I'm REAL curious to know how arkady is feeling about how everything goes on taris? a couple credits for his (preliminary at least) thoughts?

Well, first off, he's extremely wary of Lokin. He clocked how dangerous the Affable Unassuming Old Man is within second, just didn't figure out the "can transform into a rakghoul (almost) at will" part. (But really, who expects something like that?)

He hates Taris as an environment. Arkady is a city boy. He was born and raised on Ziost. Sure there was training for different terrain, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it. xD He does not like trekking through swamps and dodging cityscape debris and mud and predators and this is so much worse than the Dromund Kaas jungles.

He's... a bit of a mess mentally for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is the brainwashing reveal. I think that hit him even harder than it did Ody and it flipped her world upside down. He tried to blame it on the Sith, but couldn't ignore the reality of even if they asked for it, Keeper(the First) complied. He hates so much that it proves Watcher X right. Oh, my gosh, he's so grumpy about that. But he's still sorting through it all--Imperial Intelligence brainwashed him, Republic SIS found out how to control him using it, he's supposed to infiltrate and destroy this cell but does he really want to do that? These seem like good people, who are doing what they have to to protect their people, and really, how different are they from him?

(and floating in the background of it all is Watcher Two's voice saying high Imperial citizen casualties from the Eradicators are acceptable if it lets them stop Jadus. Even having joined Intelligence more to get away from home than anything it bothers him that she's ready to make that sacrifice so easily. First crack in his resolve.)

Chance is easy to work with; trusts him to do the job and seems to accept he's working on it even with complications. (Arkady spends half of Taris fighting the urge to ask how long Chance as been an agent bc he's way more trusting than any other spy he's met. >.>) Ardun's reaction to/commentary on Ki Sazen is what makes Arkady suspect the man's a Jedi himself; it sounds like way too personal an issue. Does make him smirk a little the Jedi seem to have the same issues as the Sith with rogue members and the like.

All of my agents are what might seem too forgiving of Ardun and Chance using the keyword and even if he's not questioning as much as, say, Jaaide or Ody, Arkady's no exception. In fact, I think he's bothered by it almost the least(might be tied with Ody), bc with his ruthlessly pragmatic streak he would do the same as Ardun without hesitation. (He wouldn't even be sorry; this is a war and protecting your assets comes first) (Besides, there's that slave you inject with what's basically the prototype serum for the Castellan Restraints back on DK, so it'd be massively hypocritical bc he DID do the exact same thing)

Him saving Chance instead of letting him die is the second crack in his loyalty. He should be "eliminating the enemy" and this is literally the perfect cover; he wouldn't even have to do anything, his inaction would be enough. Just let Chance succumb to his wounds. But he doesn't. Bc he's not a bad person, and pragmatically speaking, helping Chance will further ingratiate him with the team.

By the time he actually confronts Ki Sazen, he's pretty thoroughly convinced she's crazy. Also acting like a petulant child who ran away from home bc she didn't get her way. He killed her, bc there's no way Arkady is going to suggest someone join the Sith, and he wouldn't think she has the temperament for spy work so SIS is out too. (Also that line about "You were a savior. Now you're a martyr" is a banger)

I don't think he'd completely sorted through all his thoughts and emotions about his, uh, circumstances by the time he left Taris. He definitely dislikes the Sith even more now(haha can't wait til he romances Lana and has to Rethink Biases), he picked up a new nexu pet who will love him no matter what his decisions, and he's further embedded himself with Kothe's team, which he tells himself is good bc it'll let him do his job better. Not bc he's actually starting to like most of them. >:3

[redphlox]

While we are left ambiguous about Toya's fate, how do you feel about Enji's? Do you think Enji actually cares or is doing it out of duty to visit Toya? He never once seemed proud of Toya and post Dabi mostly feared him and pities him now as well as himself. I never believed Enji could change because he's definitely coded as a classical narcissist imo.

The story is not over, so I wouldn't say that Touya's fate is left ambiguous just yet.

I do think that Enji actually cares about his son Touya. He cares about all his children. He even cares about Rei. This is portrayed through his snap back to reality after becoming #1 and realizing it felt empty. His realization that being #1 means protecting the future was the first time we saw him have some self-awareness that he ruined his family's future. What was there at the summit he dreamed about reaching for half his life? Nothing. Only destruction of his family at his hands.

Endeavor's apology to the family during the battle was honest, and his commitment to atoning comes from a place of accepting culpability. He's shielding the family from the public's condemnation without expecting anything back and accepting that Natsuo is cutting him off. Honestly, this is what an apology from a prideful and egotistical man like Enji would probably look like. He wouldn't act like, say, a remorseful All Might or Deku. And I'm not saying Endeavor's actions are the epitome of a heartfelt apology or that the emphasis on Endeavor's feelings over those of the rest of the family is the best writing - I'm just saying, this is in character and in line for someone like Enji.

Also, what else could he do? What's done is done. Touya "died" alone on the mountain feeling unwanted, Rei's mental health was decimated, Fuyumi and Natsuo lived in fear of him, Shouto became an angry and bitter young boy - what else is there to do but try to do reparations and distance himself? He came to that realization in 252 after trying to play daddy and being called out by Natsuo that he can't just act like nothing happened.

Reality is, caring about someone doesn't guarantee the absence of abuse. Abuse is a multifaceted social/interpersonal problem, and as terrible as their actions are, abusers are human. I'm not saying this in a "Don't hold abusers accountable" way - I'm saying that when we dehumanize them, we're alienating them and this doesn't bring us closer to stopping abuse. You can hold people accountable without treating them like souless, depraved people. "Othering" people, taking away their humanity - that stops progress. And that's what BNHA talks about... villains (murders, abusers, etc) are human, and outcasting them, taking away their humanity, isn't solving any problems.

I don't think it would be appropriate for Enji to be proud of Touya at this point. Endeavor knows this is nothing to be proud of. Touya's been self-harming, spiraling mentally, and hearing a "I'm proud of you, son" isn't the healthiest thing to hear because it would enforce the idea that Touya NEEDED to self-harm to earn his father's approval. Endeavor didn't want that.

I do think Endeavor is genuine in wanting to come talk to Touya.

I'm not sure I agree about Endeavor being afraid of or pitying Dabi. I think Enji was afraid/hesitant of confronting Touya because it would mean facing the harsh, tangible reality of what his Hellflame had done... because it would be like looking in the mirror and disliking what he saw. It wasn't fear of HIS SON, if that makes sense. I also don't get the feeling he pities Touya. The word "pity" can suggest a feeling of superiority. Nothing in the manga implies or shows that Endeavor considers himself superior to Touya - and we've seen Endeavor act superior plenty of times. I'm not even getting the feeling that Endeavor is pitying himself... he's just taking every consequence and not complaining or asking "why meeeeeee" unlike after becoming #1 by default. I'd say that's a change from the Enji we first met.

Last but not least, I have an ethical problem with diagnosing real-life disorders to fictional characters because it stigmatizes real-life people who struggle with these disorders. These non-professional diagnoses usually lack differential diagnosis and stem from a misunderstanding of/perpetuation of stereotypical symptoms. I definitely agree Enji is selfish and arrogant, but having NPD is so much more than that. You can hate Endeavor without calling him something he's not. Using real disorders to insult people you don't like is ableist anyway.