#I used to hug my coworkers at my last job because we were always happy to see each other so what
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tariah23 · 1 year ago
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I will buy mahoyo after I get this job 🥹
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pbandjesse · 2 years ago
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I don't feel so great right now. I feel pretty overwhelmed with work and everything. But I was a lot more productive today after work. And hopefully since I didn't take a nap right after work I will be able to fall asleep early. I think that would help how I feel.
I didn't sleep great last night. I woke up a lot and just didn't feel very great. I woke up at 715 like I was supposed to. And I felt so dizzy and tired. James was sitting on the couch with Sweetp and looked so cute.
James promised me breakfast so I got dressed and felt pretty good after we got food. I was tired and not 100% myself but I was a little better.
And work was fun. My group was really late. But it was whatever. Kaitlyn brought us donuts. And I helped her make some prints. People wanted to know about our honeymoon but I was a little to tried to really be "on". I tried but I wasn't all the way there.
There was some confusion once we got the kids inside but whatever. I got an all girl group and they were awesome. We did start a few minutes late but it was fine, and I would make the time up. And the girls had great questions and I was having a really good time. Even if I tripped on my words a little bit.
I did get really frustrated after my tour though because the other half of my tour, lead by another educator, was late. And the overlap cannery area chairs has another group hanging out in them and I was very frustrated. I texted Jessica that my coworkers are going to give me an ulcer. And because of all of this my cannery started very late but I did my best and it wasn't my best A but it was fun at least.
After my cannery we had lunch and I got my scavenger hunt set up and went to steal stickers from James. Ended up talking to a lovely musuem guest about being a musuem nerd and where else he should check in our. Me and James both recommended AVAM. I hope he went because it's such a cool place.
The kids did an excellent job at the scavenger hunt and two groups got prizes. And then it was time for them to go.
Once they were gone I went to the back to sit down and catch my breath. Eventually I would go hug James on their walk to their lunch break. And then I spent some time at the front desk talking to Meril. Showing her all the pictures from our trip. And it felt so nice to share that with someone. And she made me feel very heard and that was really nice. She had to deal with a very needy person on the phone but I was just laughing at the distressed faces she was making as she tried to get this person to understand she was saying "es" and not "us" like the person was insisting. Very silly.
I walked to the car with Kaitlyn. And the I headed to the dollar store to look for stuff for my market table. And I had pretty good luck. I decided I would put my bears in popcorn containers. And I think it looks so cute.
I went home and started setting up my table and it's not perfect but I'm really happy with it. I also figured out a way to use my mini printer to possibly do on the spot mini drawing commissions. And that was really exciting. I also decided to work on my new sign. So I found some wood to spray paint on the fire escape. And then I decided to go for a walk.
I needed to go to Walgreens and get a new eyeliner. And as I was leaving Mr Will was there and it was so nice to see him!! We talked for a little bit. And then James was home and I said goodbye and be back soon to both of them.
I would get my eyeliner and a new gel moisturizer. Some candy. And then home.
I would work more on my sign. Which I am not photographing yet but I think is looking so good. And then got to work on my pressed flower frames I wanted to make this week. I also got more work done sewing down my knit edges from my look piece. I felt super productive and that felt really good.
James made us pasta for dinner. And while it was good I don't understand why pasta sauce always tastes weird and nothing like when I was a kid. Even when I buy the same brand my mom did. It's all just watery and boring. Just sucks.butbthe garlic bread was nice.
I started getting really really cold. No idea why. I took a bath but it didn't help as much as I hoped. At least I was clean.
Now I am in my new hoodie and cuddled up with Sweetp. And James is here and playing Zelda. All I want is a snack and to go to sleep.
I am at the museum tomorrow. And I hope it's a good day. I have more market things to do but I also just want to rest. Fingers crossed that it works out how I want.
Sleep well everyone. Be careful out there. I love you!
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theluxuriansecret · 9 months ago
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Diary Entry 03242024
11:39 pm
The night before I start the job I've been banking on, dreaming of, manifesting and I am so nervous but also very excited. I honestly have so many feelings stored away inside of me and I am having trouble finding ways to release them / manage them.
To begin, I know that we have entered eclipse season and tomorrow will be a full moon. There are a lot of emotions brewing in me like self doubt, will I be good enough for this job? Will my new coworkers like me? Am I okay with accepting rejection / failure? i honestly don't believe I'll ever be put in a situation I couldn't handle.
Which I guess brings me to my relationship. I have been devastated with the distance between us and how we don't get to spend actual quality time together as I was like. When I was manifesting the guy of my dreams, I always said I wanted him farrrrrrr away so that he would leave me alone. I guess I should've specified how far. 4 hours isn't that far, but it's far enough where we cannot see each other on a frequent basis. Today marks a month since I've seen him and honestly, I don't like it getting to be that long. I was starting to think if had accidentally repeated a cycle. But this man is NOTHING like my last LDR ex, honestly, the only thing similar is that he is fucking far. I miss him. I miss breathing the same air as him and I miss touching him, kissing him, holding him, looking into his beautiful brow eyes, the way he smells. I hate that I am in this again, but I'm truly hoping that we build our future together and come together soon.
I have been having very weird emotions about my parents lately. For starts, for MONTHS I have been wanting to have a conversation with him and really pick his brain about why he is who he is and does the things he does, or lack thereof. But today he came into my room in the span of 10 min to hug me and tell me he was proud of me and that he is there for me for anything. I was truly at a loss because where is that coming from? Why now? I'm basically finished growing up, all the hard times I really needed you, all those very moldable and vulnerable times are gone. Not to say I'm finished growing that will truly never end, but I am an adult now.. So, one of these days I'll plan something for us, but right now I am just focusing on myself.
My mother on the other hand, we got into not long ago and although we were able to "work through it" and move forward, I feel like because she won't be able to rely on me like she used to, she is really about to take a hit. But also, I was really getting tired of her relying on me for everything, alllll the time. Especially when there are two other capable adults in the house. I've had this conversation with her only once, but I really need her to get a grip and stop babying my brother. I understand that she is done with my dad and tired of begging him to do things he's proven he just won't do, which is whatever, but also not my problem and not my fault. Call me selfish but I did not build this family, and I truly don't intend to. Unfortunately, that is just not my purpose. I wish all of them luck to.
Anyway, only to lucky girl things. Only to love, luck, happiness, good health and prosperity. CHEERS xoxo
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fizzingwizard · 1 year ago
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I am sick!! Surprising no one.
Happy thing today - I discovered a new brand of iced milk tea in the vending machine outside my apartment. It costs only 100 yen (a lot of drinks that used to be 100 yen have shot up to 110, 120, 130 this year) and it's a normal amount of drink inside. With milk tea it's often too sweet for me, but this one is really nice! Just lightly sweet and very fragrant. I bet it will taste great when it's heated up in fall too. Cheap, tasty, and nearby... yess I can be happy as long as it continues to be stocked, lol x'D coincidentally i watched a vid today where a person was on a business class JAL flight and ordered royal milk tea, the same kind that comes in a can in vending machines for 150 yen, only it cost 300 of course because you're drinking it on an airplane!! lmao
now work stuff!
It's been a pretty uggghhh September. I had a lot on my plate, and then I got bad news that my work partner, the only person on staff with me at the school over the past four years who didn't quit last spring, is going to quit in October. Not only is she going to quit, but the company doesn't have a replacement for her... I'm really upset, not with her for quitting, because if anything she's smarter than me for taking the plunge lol, but because I'm going to be left with just my 19-year-old newbie coworker and a random rotation of subs who aren't always even teachers themselves for some indefinite amount of time, with a class of 20 two and three year olds. And the company has been pretending the understaffing is a problem caused by so many people quitting at once - as if we hadn't been understaffed for years, and as if the reasons those employees chose to quit were nothing to do with how the company treated them... -.-'
So, to be honest, although I've said it in the past I've reached a point where it's more true when I say I really am job hunting again. It's a struggle, because no matter how bad things get here, I do genuinely enjoy working with very young children. I don't mind changing diapers and I don't mind tantrums and I've learned so much, I feel, about people in general from observing how different and how thoughtful my students are. I think it's a pretty sweet deal to work somewhere you can get constant hugs, play pretend, and celebrate holidays as part of your work. There are a lot of stressors as well, but they all go away when I see my kids.
But I'm so frustrated with the company. An entire staff quits (technically two requested transfers, a third was just transferred because reasons, and two stayed on as subs with the intention of quitting, one of whom has already done so - but everyone else besides me and my co-teacher genuinely quit) and their reaction is "they're a clique who did this on purpose to harm the company." Instead of "what did we do which drove away these hard-working, kind, experienced teachers who daily went above and beyond both for their students and for their coworkers?" Like. I'm not saying no mistakes were made by anyone. I just think it's ridiculous that the small mistakes that were made were treated so harshly, while little to no recognition, let alone help, was given for the very real issues we were handling. Everyone was a hard worker who I relied on and enjoyed working with. I'm not a slacker. But many of my coworkers worked even harder than me. And the company just did nothing to try to keep them. Also, that one teacher I mentioned who was transferred for mysterious "reasons" - I'm really bitter about that now because obviously we needed her here! If she wasn't against leaving, why did they make her?? She was transferred nearby (to a school that did also have some staffing issues but nowhere near as bad as ours) and is often at our school anyway filling in because there are no subs :) So dumb.
I'm especially concerned about my co-teacher quitting because as I said, my other co-teacher is only 19. She's great, but she can't help that she's young and new. And not only do I have a large class of 20 mostly still two-year-olds, but I have several emotionally challenging ones who need a lot of one-on-one attention. It's not just about how tiring it is, it's also about safety. If I'm the only experienced teacher, and I have to rely on my newbie co-teacher and some random third person who doesn't know the routine or the kids, that opens the door to so many problems. I'm the one who knows how to handle those emotionally-challenging kids. (Side note: at the start of the year I was told that my class was getting most of the challenging kids because my co-teacher has some kind of specific child development certification that made her the best choice of teacher for them. But... she is quitting... so... lol) But then I can't lead the rest of the class when they're having meltdowns. My co-teacher will have to do that. While she is doing very well, she hasn't found her teacher voice yet. She also doesn't know how to anticipate what kids will do unexpectedly. And she'll be supported by some random person... I don't like it at all. And I feel anything that happens, I will be blamed for. Like, even if I'm not blamed directly, there's a difference between not being directly blamed and getting glowing feedback in your file. The other two-threes class has also been through ups and downs and has as many kids as we do. But at least two of three teachers are experienced and the one new one has been with us almost since the beginning of he school year and isn't fresh out of high school. I just feel afraid my class will fall short and despite the challenges we faced we'll still be compared.
Anyway. Like I said, I'm pretty decided to quit, even though I'm not happy about it. The question is what to do next. Of course I'd love to stay in pre-K. But if I'm quitting anyway, it would be nice to work somewhere I can make more money. I don't know where that would be. It probably won't be education. I feel really at sea right now. I never wanted an office job, I never wanted to work for money, and I'm afraid I'll just hate it. But on the other hand, I do need money. I have savings but not a lot. And my job here is physically demanding to the point that I'm so exhausted every day. I don't get to sit down. For eight hours I'm chasing kids, squatting, lifting, running up and down stairs, carrying baskets, scrubbing floors, setting up and breaking down tables... It gets to be a lot doing it every day, although it's put me in better shape than I was even in college, lol. But I wouldn't mind a break :P and maybe just go to the gym like a normal person, lol.
So I'm looking around but I honestly don't really know what I'm gonna find, if anything, that will suit me and I'll suit it. And I'm not unrealistic about salary either - I'm not expecting to make a ton more than I do now. Just idk, more. We'll see I guess. I really don't want to leave Japan. My options here are limited as a foreigner (if I knew IT or something I'd be a little better off) but my fingers are crossed I'll somehow find a job that pays at least a little higher than what I get now.
Since I'm feeling pretty firm about quitting at the end of my contract, I'm seizing the last of my PTO to take my first trip home since before covid. Haven't bought the tickets yet though. That's gonna hurt ;___; not just the money but last time I looked I couldn't find flights that would get me home in less than 30+ hours... sigh. Fingers crossed there too buhahahha
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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago
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DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"
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Word count: 10,5 K
Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story.  Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).
Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.
A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!  
Series Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | 
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Spencer's point of view
I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.
I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.
- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.
- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.
- "Do you know her?"
- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."
I was completely flustered.
- "That I can see, do you know her?"
- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.
I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.
- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?
- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."
My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.
Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.
- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."
- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.
I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.
We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.
- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.
- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."
Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.
- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.
- "I'd love to."
- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.
- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.
- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."
- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."
She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.
- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.
- "That's great."
That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.
- "Way to go, Romeo."
- "Shut up."
We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.
.
(Y/N)'s point of view
I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.
Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.
- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.
- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately
- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."
- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.
- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."
- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.
I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.
- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.
- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.
- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"
I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.
.
My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.
Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.
I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.
- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."
I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.
.
- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.
- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.
- "Do you need a ride?"
- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."
- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."
And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.
- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled
- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."
- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.
- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"
- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."
- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.
- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."
I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.
- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.
- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.
- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."
- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."
And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.
- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.
- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.
- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."
- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.
I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.
It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.
.
- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"
- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.
- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."
Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.
- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.
- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"
- "I will, I swear!"
Spencer's point of view
Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.
Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).
- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.
- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"
I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.
- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.
Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.
- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.
- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.
- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling
- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.
- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.
Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.
- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"
- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.
- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."
- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.
- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."
She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.
I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.
- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.
- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled
- "Sorry."
- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.
- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."
Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.
I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.
- "I think I'm gonna go home."
- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"
- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.
- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me
- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.
- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."
- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.
- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"
- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.
- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.
- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."
I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.
It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.
- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.
- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.
- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"
- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.
- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.
- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.
- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."
- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask
- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."
- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."
- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"
- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation
- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.
- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.
- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."
.
- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.
- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.
- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.
- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.
- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."
- "Thank you."
I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.
- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."
She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile
- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."
- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."
If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.
- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"
- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.
- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered
- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.
- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"
- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.
- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."
- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"
- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."
I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.
- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"
- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive
- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"
- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.
- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.
- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."
I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.
- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.
- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"
We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.
.
(Y/N)'s point of view
- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.
- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"
- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"
- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"
- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"
- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."
- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.
I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.
- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."
I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.
- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.
- "Thank you."
- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."
I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.
- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.
- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.
- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.
- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."
- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"
- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.
- "You do not do that."
- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.
- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."
- "People would always say it's annoying."
- "Why would they say that?"
- "Because... I know they do."
- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."
Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.
- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."
The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.
- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.
After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.
- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"
I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.
- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"
- "Yeah! See ya!"
- "Drive safe!"
- "I will!"
I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.
Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.
I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.
Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.
Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.
I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.
Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.
- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.
- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.
Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.
- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"
Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.
- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.
- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."
- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.
- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."
- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"
- "Really?"
- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"
And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.
- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"
- "I couldn't feel anything at first"
- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"
- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.
- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.
- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him
- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.
- "And the second?"
- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"
Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.
- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.
- "I'm here to talk if you want to"
It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.
- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.
- "Great plan."
And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.
- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.
- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.
- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."
And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.
.
Spencer's point of you
Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.
Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.
Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.
But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.
- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."
- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board
- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"
- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"
- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"
I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.
- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"
- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.
- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."
I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.
- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"
I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?
- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.
- "Just one, and no coffee"
- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.
For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.
For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."
- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.
- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.
- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.
- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.
- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.
- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"
- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."
- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"
I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.
- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."
I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.
- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.
- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."
JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.
For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.
- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.
- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"
- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.
- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.
- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"
- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.
- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."
- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"
- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"
I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.
- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.
- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"
- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"
That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.
She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.
- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question
- "Always"
- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.
- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"
- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"
- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me
- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.
- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"
- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"
She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.
- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"
I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.
- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips
- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.
- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"
- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.
- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.
- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"
- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"
- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.
- "I'm waiting"
- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.
- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."
- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"
- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"
Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.
- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"
- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."
- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.
- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"
- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask
- "Yes, Reid, why?"
- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.
- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."
She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.
- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"
- "Some on us more than other"
- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"
- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"
I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.
- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"
- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question
- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"
- "Did you go through the same?"
- "Yes, I did"
- "And how did you overcome it?"
- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.
- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"
- "That's what's scares me too"
- "What?"
- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."
When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.
- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.
- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.
- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.
I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.
- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.
- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"
- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"
- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."
- "Good night, (Y/N)."
----------
Series Masterlist
Chapter two
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thefallennightmare · 3 years ago
Text
Rule Breaker-Thirteen
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Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: very, very slow burn, swearing, angst, fluff, and maybe some smut down the road.
Summary: Agent 16 or also known to her close family and friends, Y/N, has been one of SHEILD’s top and most trusted agent for the last 5 years. Her number one rule that she lived by since she started; don’t date your coworkers. When reader starts working side by side with one of the men of the Avengers, she starts to realize how hard it is to keep that rule with Captain America himself, Steve Rogers.
A/N: Tags are still open!
Tags: @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @learning-howto-be-myselfx3​ @vi0letblu3s @lharrietg @dontbescaredtosingalong @itsafansworld07
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“You didn’t read anything on this, correct?”
I shook my head. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t have the authority to.”
Nick Fury nodded while sitting back into his chair. “How’d the mission go?”
“Good although Captain Rogers wasn’t too happy that I had a different mission than the others,” I informed him.
We were sitting in his office, moments after my feet touched the hard ground of the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. I handed him the hard drive with the information he had been looking for. There was a part of me that wondered what exactly Fury needed that information for but as mentioned, I didn’t have the authority to think of what was on that hard drive.
Fury gave me a curt nod. “I knew he wouldn’t be. He’s old fashioned but a good leader, you’re lucky to work with him.”
I rolled my eyes, annoyed at his comment.
“Anything else, sir?” I questioned, hands grasped together behind my back.
“You’re excused,” Nick nodded towards the doorway.
With a smile of thanks, I turned to walk out, ready to head home for the night. However, I didn’t make it more than two steps before a very angry Steve Rogers stormed his way into Nick’s office.
“I need to have a word,” Steve started but once he saw me, the look of anger intensified. “About you actually.”
“Of course you do,” I grumbled, arms crossed over my chest.
We both were still in our tactical suits and I couldn’t stop myself from drinking in the way his own suit hugged his body perfectly. His chest rose and fell in deep, angry breaths. His teeth gritted together. I bit my lip, nearly dying when he placed his hands on his hips.
This man knew what he was doing to me and there was a part of me that wondered if he was doing it on purpose.
“Is there a problem with Agent 16?” Nick asked, standing from his desk.
“How can I lead a team when someone on that team has a task of their own?” Steve questioned.
My eyes glared into him. “I already told you, Rogers. I don’t work for you. Nick gave me a different mission from yours.”
“You could have been honest with me,” Steve mentioned.
I scoffed. “Is that why you’re so butt-hurt? Because I lied about my mission?”
Steve stepped closer. “Why do you always have to have such an attitude with me?”
My shoulders shrugged. “Cause it’s fun.”
Nick stepped between us, realizing that the tension between us was getting thick. “Agent 16, you’re dismissed. I need a moment with Captain Rogers.”
My eyes darted between the two men and sucking in my bottom lip, I swallowed the words that I wanted to spew. My job was on the line and I couldn’t risk it because of Steve being upset that I lied to him. Without another word, I walked out of the room, purposely brushing my shoulder into him.
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Turning the corner down the long corridor, I replayed his instructions on where to find him and let out a few breaths, hoping it calmed my nerves. I was deep into my thoughts that I had almost forgotten about the voice coming through my ears.
“Hello, Earth to Y/N!”
Clutching the phone closer to my ear, I sighed apologetically. “I’m sorry, Natasha. What did you say?”
“Steve has clouded your mind that you’re ignoring me now,” Natasha tskd.
“Oh please, he wishes I thought about him.”
Even through the phone, she could tell I was lying.
“I don’t understand why you two won’t go out. What could be so bad?”
“Because,” I sighed, ���If we had a terrible outcome, it would make things tense and awkward between us at work.”
“But it won’t have a terrible outcome, Steve is a great guy,” Natasha defended.
“I don’t doubt he is. It’s me that I’m worried about,” I admitted.
Our conversation ceased when I reached the room I was looking for. I bid her a quick goodbye and once my phone was back in my pocket, I walked a few more steps towards the man I had come to see. I couldn’t help the small smile that was playing on my lips, knowing that with him I didn’t have to think or worry about whatever was going on with Steve and I.
I parted my lips to speak but they slammed shut when I noticed who he was already talking to.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I cursed, a bit too loudly.
The two men looked over towards me but my eyes stared only at the blonde. His face fell when it finally clicked who he was looking out.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Steve asked.
I remained quiet only nodding towards the man behind Steve.
Sam Wilson smirked, looking between us. “So, I take it you two know each other?”
“How the hell do you know him?” I asked Sam.
“We met the other morning on a run,” he informed me.
“Hang on,” Steve shook his head. “Sam is who you’ve been seeing?”
All I did was nod before turning my attention towards Sam. “Should we reschedule?”
Sam went to speak but Steve stopped him. “Don’t let me ruin your night, I’ll catch up with you some other time.”
Steve’s gaze locked with my own, a look of hurt flashed over his features. There was some tension between us and there were times that he had irked me the wrong way but seeing that hurt look in his eyes, made my heart fall.
I had made it clear that we could never be together, no matter how much the thought brought warmth to my center.
So why did I suddenly feel guilty for seeing Sam?
Without another word, Steve was gone, leaving Sam and I alone. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, gaining my attention once more.
“Are you still up for tonight?”
I gave him a smile and nodded. “Yeah.”
With a smile of his own, he led me towards the exit of the building.
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“Have they stopped?”
I shook my head at Sam. “They’ve gotten worse.”
The fire in front of us crackled, warmth spreading over my feet, and I leaned my head into my hand as my arm was perched against the back of the couch. The fire also casted us in an orange glow, creating a comfortable atmosphere.
Sam and I were back at his place, sitting in his living room; something we had done a few times before. The glass of wine that sat on the table in front of me had finished a while ago but another glass didn’t sound appealing to me.
“Did you tell anyone?” Sam questioned
Again, I shook my head. “Nick would put me on leave and Steve, he wouldn’t understand.”
Sam set his empty beer bottle down, confusion on his face. “How do you know that?”
“These memories, they are something that I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of. They’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.”
“They will if you allow them too, Y/N. What you went through was traumatic but you can’t go through it alone,” Sam gave my knee a comforting squeeze.
“I’m not alone,” I smiled. “I have you.”
He snickered. “Oh, that’s why you’re friends with me? Free therapy?”
“Well, I’d be stupid to turn it down.”
We laughed together before silence fell between us, my eyes staring into the fire. Those same memories I had spoken of tried to push their way from the depths of my brain but I forced them away, not wanting to relive them. They had taken over my life the last few months and I refused to let anyone know how bad they affected me.
Kidnapped for days, fighting for my life against a man three times stronger than me. But what scared me the most was his metal arm. It haunted my dreams every night, waking me up in a cold sweat and screams.
That’s why it was so nice to have Sam. He did this almost every day at the V.A center so when we met, it was a breath of fresh air.
“So, are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Captain America?”
Sam’s question gave him my full attention. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
He gave me a ‘bullshit’ look and I couldn’t help but sigh.
“I guess he likes me and wants to go out on a date but I keep turning him down,” I explained.
“Why the hell would you do that?” Sam asked, shocked.
“It’s this stupid rule I have; no dating co-workers.”
Sam leaned back into his couch. “Do you want to date him?”
When no words fell from my lips, Sam had the answer he was looking for.
“Even if I wanted to, he’s pissed at me,” I said before explaining what happened on the mission yesterday.
He ran a hand over his face. “Now, I don’t know Steve all that well but I do know you, Y/N. We’ve been doing this for months now so I know that even though you say one thing, you mean the complete opposite; with Steve and your past.”
I remained quiet, knowing that what Sam was saying was spot on.
“So, I’m going to give you an assignment.”
I snorted at his comment. “What are you; my teacher?”
Sam ignored me. “Either you give Steve one chance or you have to tell him about that night in Russia.”
My eyes playfully glared at Sam. “That’s cold, Sam.”
He was quiet, only motioning to my phone on the table with his eyes; a silent command I understood.
Gnawing on my bottom lip till it almost bled, I gave in with a sigh and reached for my phone. It was only going to be one date, what could go wrong? We both wanted this so I knew it wouldn’t be a one-sided affair.
Before my fingers could work out a message to Steve, a new one from him popped up on screen. All the blood drained from my face and my stomach fell.
“I, uh. I have to go,” I stammered, jumping to my feet.
Not giving Sam an explanation, I gathered my things and rushed out of the door.
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ackerfics · 3 years ago
Note
hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them
she — hange zoe
— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)
— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else
— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.
— word count: 2.5k
— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<
reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
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She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.
She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.
“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”
Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.
The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].
“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”
“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”
Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”
“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”
“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”
“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”
Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”
“Oh? What are those things?”
The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.
[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”
“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”
“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.
“Anything for my sweetheart.”
“Again, I’m right here, you know.”
Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.
But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.
The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.
A friend.
Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.
Fall is where everything started.
The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.
Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”
A pause made the breeze’s call known.
“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”
That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.
“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.
She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”
Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”
She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”
Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”
“Yeah, it’s her.”
Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.
It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.
But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.
“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].
“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”
“And what of my feelings, Levi?”
That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.
Then, the dam broke.
“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.
“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?
“Why didn’t she choose me?”
Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.
“Hange,” Erwin murmured.
“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”
A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.
“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”
“Stop it! You’re prettier!”
“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”
“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”
“Me, too, angel.”
Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”
The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.
Winter is here.
general taglist:
@angelofthorr
144 notes · View notes
doublekrecs · 4 years ago
Text
Going Live
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis: You're an intern for the FBI but double as a camgirl in your spare time. You thought you kept things pretty well under wraps but who knew one of your mentors watched you all along. 
Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v action (remember to wrap it), face fucking, use of sex toys, tiny bit of degrading
a/n: writing this in the setting of season 10/11 because spencer looks so damn good and i wanted to include my girl tara
also part 2 of more than physics should be up later today! hope you enjoy -🧞‍♀️
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You had been a paid intern for the FBI for about a year, paid being said lightly. But the job was definitely worth it. While being under the wing of the BAU you had not only learned so much about your hopefully future profession, but you had made a family with the team. Especially under the wing of Tara Lewis, she had been there for a little while but you looked up to her work and she was more than happy to offer advice and a good wine night.
The team knew you had a second job on the side but weren’t exactly sure what it was, just that you worked from home. They respected your personal life enough to stay out of it, however that didn’t stop Rossi from offering you a little extra because “that's what uncles are supposed to do”. You would always wave him off and say you could handle yourself, because you could. 
You thoroughly enjoyed working. The money and gifts were obviously a big reward but there was always something so exciting about being on camera. Maybe it was how risque it was, being exposed for thousands to see. Or the fact that many were pleasuring themselves to the sight of you.
It was Friday night and you were getting your setup ready. You already had your outfit and glam on. Someone had sent you a set from your wishlist, lilac lace hugged your body in all the right places, accentuating all your assets and boosting your confidence. In your hair were the same color streaks you did with a tinting spray. You set the camera and laptop up in front of your bed. Silk sheets and plush pillows behind you where you could rest comfortably before your show started. 
Little did you know across town Spencer Reid was getting ready to tune in to said show. He was never one for tech, having Garcia still hand him paper files and would refuse to upgrade his phone. He had gotten a computer just so he could video chat with doctors quickly about new medicine for his mother. However he quickly found out there was so much more the internet had to offer.
_
He had stumbled across your show one lonely night. Spencer couldn’t see himself going out to find a one night stand so the pleasure of his hand it was. He was looking through videos when he saw the thumbnail with a girl wearing glasses similar to the ones you wear when you forget contacts. His curiosity got the best of him and if he was a cat he’d be one life down. He couldn’t believe the sight on the screen in his lap. 
There you were the bubbly intern, body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you from the pink wand you held over your clit. He was delightfully flustered and the moans spilling from the computer’s speakers weren’t doing much to help.
He was entranced by you writhing in pleasure but was knocked back into reality after hearing you giggle. God he loved when you made that noise in the office, usually after fake flirting with Hotch or hearing about JJ’s boys. But this situation was totally different and if he was honest with himself he was very into it. 
You reached over to grab a large pink dildo. Taking it in your mouth before swiping it through your folds. It easily slipped in and you started rapidly pumping it into you chasing your orgasm. 
Spencer was too enthralled to even think about touching himself. He was using the gift which was his eidetic memory to the best of his ability to make this something he’d never forget. 
You came with a loud moan, hips lifting and grinding against the toy to chase the friction. Quickly you turned off the wand and took the toy out. You sat up and looked into the camera before sucking it off. Spencer's eyes widened as he let out a groan shifting on his bed. 
“Alright guys that was fun for tonight,” you said as you sat criss cross on the bed. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get to five.”
FIVE?? He thought in his head. He felt like he was gonna explode just watching those last few minutes. How was he supposed to last watching you make yourself cum five times. 
“Thank you so much for all the tips and support! My links are all in the description and I’ll see you angels next Friday! Muahh” you signed off blowing the camera a kiss. 
Spencer knew it was wrong of him to view a coworker in such an exposed light but he couldn’t help himself. So he spent the night viewing some of your old videos which brought him to what he swears to be the best orgasm of his life. Of course he sent gracious tips and made sure to buy little items off the wishlist, mentally noting to return every Friday night. Even if it meant hiding in the bathroom from Morgan in their shared hotel room on cases. That was two months ago. 
_
Just as you finished your session the phone rang signaling a case. Quickly you got in the shower and put on comfy business clothes since you usually stayed with Garcia doing extra research and taking notes. You quickly grabbed your bag and keys, making your way straight to the office. 
In the elevator you heard someone calling to keep it open. Spencer made his way in, buttoning his cardigan and adjusting his bag, quickly saying thank you. You pressed the button to the floor as you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking over Spencer was eyeing you with a confused look on his face. You were about to question him when he spoke up first. 
“I thought you had streaks in your hair”
“I did… Earlier tonight but they washed out.” He looked even more confused, then his brain put two and two together. He just realized what he had said. For a genius this wasn’t one of his brightest moments. 
You looked at him amused as a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears. There was only one way someone would know about your quick hair change: by watching your show. The door to the elevator opened and you walked out giggling as he started sputtering apologies behind you. You quickly cut him off. 
“Spence, it's alright. If you want we can talk about this later because right now you have a bad guy to catch. But may I suggest making your name something less obvious, not that I don’t love ‘magiclover187’.” He stood there mouth gaping as you patted his shoulder and walked up to the conference room to meet the rest of the team. 
_
The case was one of the easier ones. Very minimal killing and the team was back by Tuesday morning, ready for a week of paperwork. Spencer had been dancing around you the whole time, he could barely keep eye contact with you and would rush to leave the room if you walked in. If he was this flushed around you with clothes on you could just imagine how much of a mess he would be when he watched you perform. Which brought an idea to your head. 
Friday rolled around and you walked over to his desk where he was nose deep in one of his Russian books. You put your hand in it to bring it down. Once he noticed it was you he was about to start with another ramble of apologies when you stopped him.
“Alright I’m tired of the awkwardness and I want my friend back,” you said with a soft smile. “Why don’t you come over tonight and we can have that talk. I’ll even order a pizza and we can watch Doctor Who.”
“Y/n are you sure? I-I mean it is um uh Friday.. And ya know you usually film,” he said as he played with his tie. 
You giggled at how nervous he was. Poor little genius didn’t know he was the only one with tricks up their sleeve. 
“It’s fine I promise. Just a night with my favorite customer,” you said winking at him. He choked and looked around to see if anyone was looking at his outburst.
“I’m kidding.. Sort of,” you trailed off. “But I mean it about you coming over. I’m going home now but I expect you there in an hour with drinks.”
With that you turned around and walked off, adding a little extra sway to your hips. Obviously that did the trick as you heard a small groan behind you. Spencer dropped his head back as he started wracking his brain to figure out how to live through the night without making a bigger fool of himself or cuming in his pants. 
_
You know maybe you were evil, you thought to yourself as you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the night. Once you got home you sped into the shower to freshen up for him to come over and get your setup ready. You were wearing a cream colored strappy bodysuit. Over it was a large cardigan, almost resembling the maroon one he owned, strange. To top it off you were wearing your glasses and your legs were adorned with your favorite thigh high socks. 
The three knocks on the door instantly made a smirk appear on your face. This might just be one of your best schemes yet. Looking through the peephole you saw Spencer gnawing on his bottom lip holding a few bottles of soda. Taking a deep breath you opened the door greeting him with all the casualty in the world. 
“Hey! I’m glad you came, come in.”
He followed you in and tried to keep his eyes above your neck, trying to act like he wasn’t getting completely hard by just your outfit.  You sat down on your couch and patted it for him to sit next to you. He took the seat and gulped not really sure what you had planned. 
“Um how long for the pizza to get here?” 
“The pizza’s not coming Spence,” you said shaking your head. “But you are.”
You leaned forward to place your hand on his on the couch. “I want you to fuck me on camera Spencer,” you said with sweet confidence, fluttering your lashes. His eyes kept flashing between your cleavage showing through the cardigan and your lips before finally landing on your eyes. He didn’t see a single hint of humor in them, nothing transparent but lust. 
He pulled his hand from under yours to place in your hair, pulling you into a heated kiss. You pushed back on his chest a bit to try and get some air. 
“Save that magic for the show,” you said as you pulled him up to lead to your bedroom. 
The camera was set at a little bit of a lower angle. The audience would just be able to see you and at most Spencer’s chest. You had made sure it was fine and even turned it on as a test so he could see what he looked like. After you got everything out of the way you hit the button to go live and instantly people started flooding in. If the bulge in his pants told you anything, it was that he was excited to be on the other side of the screen this time. 
“Hello my angels!” you said into the camera, Spencer was taken back at what was going on. After months of lusting over the young intern he was finally seeing the show in person. 
“Today I have a special guest with me. My very good friend, the Doctor,” you took his hand to pull him into frame. “He’s very excited to be here,” you said, hand moving down to palm him through his pants. 
His hand reached out and wrapped around your throat, making you look up at him. Huh. This was a new Spencer you wouldn’t mind seeing more often.
“Let's not play games princess. Or else the only thing making you cum tonight are your pathetic little fingers. Am I clear?”
You shivered at the intensity of his voice instantly trying to nod the best you could within his grip. He let go and you went back to task at hand, undoing his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. He was long and pink. Precum already spilling out of the pretty tip, you couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth, among other places. You wasted no time in licking a broad stripe along a vein under it. His hand went to grab a handful of your hair giving it a testing tug as a warning to stop teasing. 
Your hand went to grip what couldn’t fit in your mouth but you tried your best to take him all in. You could hear the pings of tips and comments being said. Spencer could too and leaned over slightly to read them. 
“Face fuck her,” he murmured. He pulled you off of his cock and looked down into your eyes, “Is that what you want princess? Hm.” His thumb went to clean up the spit dripping down your chin before rubbing your lips. “You want me to fuck your face?”, he said in a condescendingly sweet voice. 
“Yes Doctor please! Fuck my throat.” 
“Good girl.”
Both his hands made their place nested in your hair, guiding you to his cock. He wasted no time in being brutal. Tears were leaking down your cheeks as he kept on hitting the back of your throat. Spencer was enjoying himself to the fullest letting out curses and praises at how good your mouth felt. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and you could feel it too as he started to throb in your mouth. He then pulled you off, a trail of spit connected from your lips and his cock. 
“Such a dirty whore for me. Show everyone how messy I make you,” he took your head and made you turn to look in the camera. Comments pinged talking about how pretty you looked with mascara running and smudged lipstick. 
“Thank them and ask if you deserve to cum on my cock,” Who knew Spencer had this in him. But you were loving every second of it and put on your best pair of puppy dog eyes to beg the camera for Spencer to split you in half. And you had no shame in doing so. 
“Please let the Doctor fuck me. I’ve been such a good girl for you guys,” you pleaded into the camera. The audience was pleased with your begging as they said you deserved it for being so good. 
Spencer took his time in unbuttoning the cardigan you had on, teasingly rubbing your arms as he slipped it off. His hands then went to the bodice of it, groping your breasts and teasing your nipples through the fabric. 
“Ah shit doctor, please fuck me already.”
Who was he to deny you of such a thing when you asked so nicely. He pushed you back down on the silk sheets. Pulling you by your thighs to the end of the bed where he moved the thong of the bodysuit to the side and slid his cock up your folds. Lubricating it in your juices before slipping right in. You both gasped at the intrusion, his hands grabbing your hips with a force sure to leave bruises. He used the leverage to set a brutal pace, ramming his cock into you. 
Your ears were ringing from the pleasure but you could hear the constant pings of your tip box and comment section flooding. 
“Shit baby you’re so tight. Perfect little pussy squeezing me so good.” You babled off thank yous and whimpers from being so close to your climax.
 You felt Spencer stop for a second and reach over to grab something. Then you felt it. Your wand set to the highest setting placed on your clit as he started to thrust into you again. Sounds of your moans and skin slapping together filled the room along with the buzzing of the vibrator. You were sure there was going to be a noise complaint notice on your door in the morning. 
You were so close to having the bubble in your stomach burst and so was he. 
“I'm gonna cum Doctor,” you practically yelled. “Please cum inside me!”
“Cmon princess. Let me feel you let go.”
With that the knot broke and you swore you died and went to heaven. Your walls squeezing Spencer led him to his end a little after you. Thrusts faltering and groaning at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He turned off the wand and put it to the side before slipping out of you. 
Looking into the camera you gasped at your appearance. Hair disheveled and face messy from crying in pleasure multiple times that night. Your mixed release leaking down your thigh and onto the sheets. 
There were non stop pings of people calling Spencer a lucky bastard and asking for him to come back next Friday. Spencer nodded his head over to your bathroom to get you guys something to clean up with and let you do your closing. 
“Thanks for the love tonight angels,” you said with a smile on your face, entirely blissed out. “As always the links are in the description and I’ll see you guys next Friday. Maybe I’ll talk to the Doctor about future appearances. Bye!” 
With that you fell back on your bed and closed your eyes. Your body jolted at a sudden coldness between your thighs. 
“Right sorry,” Spencer whispered.
“So where did that come from?” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 
“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he stated seriously. 
You giggled and took his hand, “Thanks for doing this with me.”
“Of course. Now why don’t you shower while I get us a pizza. For real this time.”
“Or we can shower together then call the pizza.”
He contemplated it before smiling at you, “You always have the best ideas.” 
“Don’t I know it.. Doctor.”
2K notes · View notes
semisgroupie · 4 years ago
Text
 The Woman Who Used to be Mrs. Jones
Genre: smut, fluff (kinda at the end?), angst
Pairing: Aoi Todo X F!Reader
Word Count: 6.4k words
Warnings (some of the content can be triggering so please read through the warnings before reading this): cheating (in this Todo is the other man/reader is in a loveless marriage where her husband cheats on her/her husband is just a huge asshole), toxic relationship, sexual scenes, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), dirty talk, multiple creampies, bathroom sex, praise, risky sex (they fuck at a party the reader and her husband is hosting), mention of a small altercation between Todo and reader’s husband, mention of a child & brief mention of pregnancy (not detailed),  if I missed anything let me know
A/N: I do not condone, support or encourage cheating! It is not good, don’t do it! The song Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul helped me with creating this piece so I recommend listening to it while reading this. This has depicted sex within this so MINORS DNI (I’m not gonna cry bc I don’t cry but I am not afraid to beat some ass) So I hope you all enjoy it, comments/reblogs are very appreciated!!! I also apologize in advance if formatting is weird on mobile :/
Flashbacks are bolded & italicized! Also separated by a border!
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Todo walks up to the counter of the cafe and orders the usual for the both of you. He came early since he was done with work earlier than usual so after paying for the drinks he carried them to the special spot you two shared. Once seated he takes his phone out to check the time while taking a sip from his drink.
The time read 5:45. You got out fifteen minutes ago and your job wasn’t too far from the cafe, so you’d be there soon. The bell chimed to the cafe and Todo looked up to see you walk in.
His heart pounded in his chest, you looked as beautiful as you did the first day he met you all those years ago in high school. Once you two made eye contact you flashed him a smile and made your way over to him.
“Hey baby, I didn’t think you’d be here before me.”
He felt his cheeks flush at the pet name. You leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss, placing your hands on each side of his face caressing him as your lips met. Once you pulled away you sat down and started talking about your day at work.
He couldn’t help but lose focus as to what you were saying. He knew your day was tough from how your hair looked a bit disheveled from running your hands through it, a habit you had picked up when you were extremely stressed.
Time passed as the two of you spoke about each other’s days and then you were both done with your drinks.
“Wanna go home now Aoi? As much as I love it here I found this new recipe online that I would really like to try out!”
He nodded as you both got up, tipped the cashier one last time before heading to your shared home. The distance was short from where you both were currently and when you two were together even one hundred miles would feel like two blocks.
As Todo put the key in to unlock the door he sighed in content. Once you both were inside he took your jacket off and put it away. He leaned on the kitchen island while you started taking out ingredients for dinner.
“This isn’t a dream right Y/N?”
It just felt so unrealistic to him he just had to be dreaming. Your laughter filled the air as you walked towards him. You wrapped your arms around his body and looked up at him.
“While we did this in the most unconventional way it is very much real” you removed your left hand from his body to put your hand close to his line of view, “this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.”
Unconventional? Was that even the right word to explain the events that led you both to where you are now?
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You started your arrangement with him two years ago. You became “Mrs. Jones” a year before that. A happy marriage was wished to the both of you, but your marriage was anything but that. Six months after you both said your I do’s you found your husband in bed with his boss. They didn’t even think about trying to conceal their affair.
To say it broke your heart was an understatement. You felt like he ripped your heart out of your chest and destroyed it slowly as you watched. Soon there were lonely nights filled with you drinking and crying yourself to sleep. Soon after you just became numb, you got used to putting up a facade whenever your friends or family asked how married life was.
The only one who knew of the affair and how horrible your marriage actually was, was your best friend Valerie. When she first found out you had to hold her back the next time she saw him because she was just filled with rage. You were trying to find a good divorce attorney, but you just didn’t have enough money yet, so you were stuck for the time being. Then it was time to plan how to celebrate one year since the day you married him.
Valerie said that she would bring a special surprise for you, but you just pushed it to the side. You settled on hosting a party at your parent’s house since it was big enough. The fake smile you had plastered on your face burned your soul more than the cheap ring on your finger. A cheap ring that meant the entire world one moment but now means absolutely nothing.
You were leaning on the wall, holding a glass of champagne, next to your husband as Valerie approached you.
“Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!” she gave your husband a side glance as she begrudgingly said his name, “Declan... anyways I have your surprise so come with me to the backyard!”
Before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and weaved both of you through the crowd of people. She opened the door and you almost dropped your glass at the sight.
“Aoi? I thought you were away in Sweden?”
Todo brings a hand to his neck.
“I was but my job relocated here, and Valerie told me everything. As much as I’d love to say congratulations, I can’t.”
Your body moves on its own as you approach him and hug him. He holds you on instinct and all that is heard is sniffles. You move back and quickly apologize for your abrupt actions.
“Hey, don’t apologize pretty girl” he brought his hands to cup your face and wiped the tears from your face, “Declan should be the one apologizing, how could he take someone like you for granted. I know you might not believe me, but you look just as beautiful as you did when we were in high school.”
The two of you were high school sweethearts but got accepted into different colleges. The inevitable happened and you both broke up, heading your separate ways losing contact. The last thing you heard about him was he had a job in Sweden and that was it. After college you met Declan and he seemed like a knight in shining armor, but it was too late for you to realize he was the devil in disguise.
You leaned into his touch as if you two were the only ones there. Only if he was the one you married; you both would be so happy. You wouldn’t have to worry about any mistresses or affairs because even in this moment you felt all his love. Todo moved in and before you knew it you felt his lips on yours.
You melted into the kiss immediately kissing him back until he abruptly pulled away.
“I am so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to you’re still married, and this is the anniversary party and he’s inside—”
“I don’t care about Declan. The only one I care about is you. Valerie always says I should be a little selfish and now is the time. I still care about you Aoi, I still love you. The piece of my heart that left with you is now back and I’m whole again. I understand if you’re not comfortable with this, I am trying to find a lawyer and once I get the promotion at my job I can finally pay for one.”
You looked up at him hoping he would indulge you in one last kiss even if it would be the last one you two ever shared. You watched as a smile grew on his handsome face.
“I love you too Y/N, I always had and I always will. When Valerie told me about everything I cannot explain the anger I felt not only at him but also myself. If I never left then you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you would’ve been with me.”
He leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips. Before it could continue Valerie ran out to the both of you.
“Hey lovebirds as much as I love seeing you two together Declan is starting a toast and wants his wife by his side.”
She rolled her eyes as your husband’s name left her lips. You took a deep breath and turned inside, Valerie and Todo following you. You took another deep breath as you made your way to your husband putting up the fake smile. He handed you a glass of champagne and started the toast.
“This past year with my beautiful wife by my side has been the best year of my life. Waking up next to her every morning is what fuels my fire. I love this woman so much and marrying her was the best decision of my life. Thank you all for coming and supporting us. Here’s to a happy, healthy marriage and for many more years to come!”
As glasses clinked and cheers filled the room you were filled with disgust at his words. How could he spew such garbage knowing it meant absolutely nothing?
“Come on honey, you can do a better job with that fake fucking smile. Make everyone believe that we’re in love and that I haven’t fucked almost every single one of my coworkers. Maybe I’ll even indulge in you tonight.”
“Fuck you Declan, you piece of shit.”
You excused yourself to the bathroom shoving your heel into his foot making him wince in pain. Todou followed you upstairs a few minutes afterwards hearing your sobs. He knocked on the door once, twice until your shaky voice responded.
“Hey it’s me, I wanted to check on you.”
He waited hearing your heels click on the ground until you reached the door to open it. You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, eyes puffy from all the rubbing and wiping your tears away. Todo looked at you with so much love it was as if Eros struck him with his bow.
He quickly placed his lips on yours, the kiss feverish but also very loving. As if he was telling you how much he loved you each time his lips met yours. He picked you up and placed you on top of the bathroom sink, quickly running to shut and lock the bathroom door.
“Please let me make you forget about him. Please let me show you what it is like to make love and not fuck. Please Y/N.”
All you did was nod before placing your lips back on his allowing your hands to slide down and undo his belt. He allowed you to undo his belt and pants letting them hit the ground while he was lifting the skirt of your dress up.
“As much as I’d love to take my time worshipping your body we have to make this pretty quick beautiful. But please if you want to stop at any time stop me.”
You nodded at him as you felt his hand lightly graze your clothed pussy. He moved your panties to one side as he slipped a finger in, slowly moving it then inserting a second finger moving it just as slow but each movement made you moan and shiver. You started getting impatient and you grabbed his wrist.
“Please Aoi, please make love to me.”
He slotted his lips against yours again as he removed his cock from his boxers. Moving the tip against your folds making you both moan in the kiss. Once he entered you, slowly and gentle, you broke away from the kiss to throw your head back and moan. Once you gave him the okay he started thrusting.
“Fuck, you’re so tight baby. Just holding me like you don’t want me to let go.”
He moved faster hitting all the right spots. It was as if his cock was designed to fit inside your pussy. Both of your moans and groans filled the small bathroom. It quickly became heated as the mirror started to fog up. He started thrusting into you faster and harder making you throw your hands on the mirror for stabilization.
He placed sloppy kisses along the column of your neck. He lifted himself from your neck to lick two of his fingers and place them on your clit, moving them in small tight circles.
“Come on baby cum for me. Cum all over my cock and I will fill you up. I’ll make this pretty little pussy so fucking messy with my cum and you’ll walk around in that party filled with it. You look so fucking gorgeous baby. I love you so much.”
That sent you off the edge, creaming on his cock with a high pitched moan of his name. He continued pounding your pussy through your orgasm as he was nearing his own. You pulled him in for another kiss running your nails up and down his clothed chest. Feeling your nails against him made him reach his own peak, filling you completely with his cum.
Todo peppered kisses along your lips, swollen and puffy from kissing so intensely, as you both came down from your highs.
“I’m going to pull out now okay?”
“Okay that’s fine.”
You didn’t need to tell Todo to be gentle, he was already treating you like fine glass. He slowly pulled out and quickly moved your underwear to cover your cum filled pussy. A low chuckle left his lips.
“Don’t want you leaking cum all over the place.”
He lifted you off the bathroom sink after picking up both his pants and boxers. Before you could even smooth out your dress Todo did it for you, fixing any flyaways in your hair and placing one last kiss on your lips. He unlocked the door and helped lead you to the stairs.
“We should head down at separate times so we don’t look so suspicious.”
You nodded, placing one last kiss one his lips.
“I love you Aoi.”
“I love you too Y/N.”
You went downstairs and walked to your parents. You had a small limp and it filled both Aoi and yourself with joy seeing how your husband stared, completely confused at you. Valerie leaned next to you close to your ear.
“I already gave Aoi your phone number, go get that dick again.”
She lightly smacked your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips. The party went on for a couple more hours, lingering glances shared between you and Todo. When the party ended you had to figure out a ride situation since your husband drank way too much and you were a little tipsy.
Declan’s brother offered to take him back and before he could offer you a ride Todo came up and offered to take you home, to which you immediately agreed. The ride was filled with laughter and talk of memories. Also, when Todo parked at a secluded area near where you live you thanked him for the ride with a mind blowing blowjob.
He dropped you off in front of your place, being the gentleman he is, he walked you to the front door giving you one last kiss.
“I hope to see you again soon beautiful angel.”
“How about tomorrow? We could go get drinks or dinner.”
“There’s a cafe near my job, I’ll text you the address. Meet me there tomorrow when you’re done with work.”
You nodded as you fished your keys out of your purse. Taking a deep breath you unlocked the door and put your things away, heading straight to the guest bedroom because you refuse to sleep in the same bed Declan had all his whores in.
You thought he went to sleep until you heard a groan of your name. You rolled your eyes and continued going to the guest bedroom, ignoring him until you felt a hand grab your wrist.
“What do you want Declan?”
“What, I can’t touch my wife? You looked really sexy tonight so I thought I might do you the favor of fucking you.”
Fire burned in your veins. Every time you tried to pull yourself away from his hold, his grip got tighter.
“Declan, you’re drunk, and I hate you. Even if I was drunk I still wouldn’t go to bed with you, so make good friends with your hand or call one of your whores up because I will never sleep with you again.”
He turned you around.
“Listen here you bitch, you will never talk to me like that ever again. I did you the fucking favor of marrying your sorry ass now you treat me like this? I haven’t touched you in fucking months and this is what you tell me? Fuck you.”
“My sorry ass? Did me a favor? Did you also do me a favor by cheating on me over and over again? Did you do me a fucking favor then Declan? Rubbing it in my face that you didn’t love me the way I loved you, fucking anything that had tits and bringing them back here. I. Fucking. Hate. You. Rot. In. Hell. I don’t know what those girls see in you anyways, I had to fake almost all my orgasms and your dick has a weird curve, you should go see a doctor for that actually. I can’t wait until I have the money to divorce you and properly leave your sorry ass in the dust.”
You snatched your arm from his grip and locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You took off the heels and unzipped your dress letting it hit the ground as you made your way to the bathroom that was connected to the room. You took off the ring on your left hand flushing it down the toilet.
“That’ll be the last I see of you.”
You turned on the shower letting the water run, steam filling up the bathroom fogging up the mirror. You slipped your panties off the memory of your time with Aoi in the bathroom of your parents’ house filling your mind as you picked up the cum stained panties and put them in the laundry basket.
You entered the shower letting the water run over your body. After your shower you put your pajamas on and sent a goodnight text to Todo setting up the time for meeting at the cafe tomorrow. The next morning you woke up to an empty house, you let out a sigh of relief not wanting to deal with Declan after the stunt he pulled last night.
Your day at work went fairly quickly then it was the end of your workday. Inputting the address Todo gave you into the GPS you realized the drive was going to be pretty short. Once you found parking you walked into the cafe, the little bell on the door chiming with the movement. You looked around and saw Todo sitting at a corner side table, isolated from most of the crowd.
That’s when you started the arrangement. He was fine with being the sideman for now until he could properly have you to himself. Little dates and mind blowing sex filled your lives for the next four months.
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~Four Months Later~
Todo was sitting at the table that basically became the unofficially assigned table for you both as he heard the chime to the door. His head shot up expecting you to come through the doorway. It was just an elderly couple. He checked his phone again, checking for any new messages from you and nothing. Just the last message that read: “I’ll see you soon my love”.
Today was the day you would find out if you got the promotion. With the promotion you would get a huge increase in your salary and a $2,000 advance once it was official. $2,000 was the amount you needed to finally afford the divorce lawyer.
Ten minutes passed and Todo ordered another drink for himself. To say he was nervous for you would be an understatement. He was fidgeting like crazy. He received the drink and sat back down at the table. The door chimed again and he looked up to finally see you.
You waved at him and gave him a small smile. Worry filled him and he was afraid to ask you how everything went.
“There’s no way she didn’t get the promotion. She has the best relationship with her boss and she works so hard.” He thought to himself.
You greeted him with a kiss on his head and sat down. He stood silent watching you.
“So I should tell you about what happened at work right Aoi?”
“You don’t have to honey, it’s fine.”
A smile graced your face, a genuine smile, the only type of smile that you shared with Todo since he filled you with genuine happiness.
“I got the promotion.”
Todo sat there in shock.
“What? What did you just say?”
“I got the promotion. I just came back from meeting the divorce lawyer to fill out necessary paperwork, that’s why I came so late.”
He got up from his seat and lifted you up into his arms.
“I’m so happy. I could yell from the rooftops.”
So he did the next best thing, he yelled about your promotion to the entire cafe. The people inside applauded you and gave you words of encouragement. The elderly man approached the both of you after Todo put you down.
“Congratulations to you young lady. This young man seems to be extremely proud of you. I didn’t mean to interrupt the celebration but it’s just that the both of you remind both my wife and I of us when we were younger. While we met under unconventional circumstances we have spent the past 30 years together. I wish you both a happy, healthy relationship.”
You both thanked the old man and watched him walk back to his wife.
“Do you think we’ll be like them one day Aoi?”
He pulled you close to him.
“I don’t think we will, I have a feeling I know we will. Now let’s go pick up your things and bring you back to my place to properly celebrate.”
He drove you to your house and walked with you inside to pack your clothes. In the midst of packing things you both heard the front door slam shut, meaning one thing: Declan was home.
“Care to explain the car in front Y/N? I know you don’t have enough money to afford a new one.”
You sighed and continued packing with Todo.
“I was asking you a fucking question -- oh who’s this? Why are you packing? Oh I get it now, finally got a new guy to deal with your shit? Good luck buddy--”
Before Declan could get another sentence out Todo walked over and shoved him against the wall.
“Don’t you ever speak to Y/N like that again asshole. For your information, she’s leaving you and coming with me. A guy who actually loves her.”
Declan stood there shocked that someone stood up to him. Once you zipped up your bag Todo left Declan to help you. Todo walked behind you with your bag in his hand. You turned one last time to Declan.
“Oh by the way I’ve been having sex with Aoi for the last four months and the first time was at the anniversary party. The reason I was limping was because of him not because of my heels. And you’ll be getting my divorce papers soon, go fuck yourself Declan.”
You walked with Todo to his car and he drove you back to the cafe so you could bring your car to his place. Once you entered through the front door he was on top of you. Placing sloppy kisses all over your lips and neck.
“You looked so fucking sexy there Y/N.”
He picked you up and brought you to his bedroom while you were peppering kisses along his neck. He put you on the bed and started stripping, you followed suit until you were left in your bra and panties and he was left in his boxers.
He pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you. Placing kisses down your body, removing your bra once he got to your chest and removing your panties once he got to your hips. Not one inch of your body was left untouched by his lips except your pussy. The place you needed him most.
“Aoi please.”
“Please what baby? Tell me what you want.”
“Need you—your mouth on my pussy please.”
He wasted no time. He licked from your leaking entrance to your engorged clit. Making you throw your head back.
“I don’t know how but you taste better every time. I’m fucking addicted to how you taste.”
He dove back in, wrapping his lips around your clit and using a finger to tease your entrance. He was alternating between light sucks and harsh sucks making you buck your hips against his mouth.
“Aoi please fuck me. Wanna cum on your cock please.”
He gave your clit one last suck and took the finger he used to circle your entrance and put it in your mouth. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his finger made him even harder if that was possible. He stood up and took off his boxers, throwing them to a random area in the room.
He spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times as he made his way back on the bed.
“Are you ready my love?”
You spoke breathlessly “yes Aoi, please.”
He aligned himself and entered you slowly, going inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. A moan leaving both of your lips.
“And correction my love, I don’t fuck you” you furrowed your brows but that expression quickly changed when he pulled himself back until only the head of his cock was inside you and he bottomed out again in a swift movement, “I make love to you.”
He leaned down placing his forearms on either side of your head slotting his lips against yours. His thrusts slowly increase in speed. He breaks the kiss to praise you.
“My beautiful girl is so talented. You look so gorgeous right now. So fucking beautiful, I love you Y/N. I love you so much.”
“Aoi, feels s’good. Please I’m gonna cum soon. You fill me so good, like you were made for me.”
You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides his hand down between the two of you to rub circles around your clit. Your moans start increasing in pitch signaling that you’re going to cum. You bring your hands to his back and rake your nails down, digging into his skin, sure to leave marks. His ruts increased in speed bringing you to your orgasm.
“Fuck baby you’re clenching my cock so tight. I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy baby. I’m gonna fill you up every single day because now you are mine.”
He emphasized each word with a hard thrust. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Once he cums he sinks his teeth in trying to conceal the guttural moan that leaves his mouth. Coming down from his high he lifts his head up.
“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to—”
“There’s no need to apologize Aoi, I’m sorry about the scratches on your back.”
“Don’t apologize pretty girl, with how often we’re going to be making love I’ll get used to it.”
He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum leak out of you. He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the shower. Let’s just say both of you were lucky that the neighbors were gone for the night.
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~1 year later~
The both of you have been together for a year and four months. Todo was by your side the entire time throughout the divorce preceding. Comforting you and supporting you the entire time. Once your divorce was finalized your relationship received an official title.
Both of you were extremely happy but there was the voice in the back of Todo’s head that gave him doubts. When he went to go engagement ring shopping with Valerie the voice was there.
As he picked out the perfect ring for you the voice was there. His head was filled with doubts. Of course he loved you, he loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. He knew you loved him. His love for you was immortal, unconditional but he wasn’t so sure if it was the same for you.
That voice in his head hammering doubts over and over again it made him nervous. He started to wonder if he should bring the ring back. If he should change his mind. It was that voice.
“What if she gets tired of you like her husband did with her? What if she finds someone better than you? What if she doesn’t love you as much as you love her? Could you handle the heartbreak Aoi? Could you?”
He started getting distant from you, less kisses in the morning, leaving without saying goodbye, barely initiating sex, it made you worried. What if he’s getting tired of you like Declan? You texted him wanting to meet at the cafe after work. He just sent back a simple “okay”.
Reading it made you even more nervous than before. When you were done with work you drove as slow as you possibly could to the nearby parking lot. You opened the door to the cafe and once you looked around you saw Todo there, fidgeting.
“Is he going to end things with me? We were supposed to move to the new house next week.” You wondered to yourself, you both had so many plans for the future but the future is uncertain.
You sat down and it was silent. He nudged your drink over to you and that was the most interaction you got from him since you got there. It killed you to not talk to him and it was killing him too.
“Y/N, I’m scared.”
You looked into his eyes and saw the fear within them. But what could he possibly be scared about?
“Aoi, what’s wrong? What’s scaring you?”
“What if you get tired of me? What if you meet someone better than me? What if—”
“Aoi. Stop that please” your voice started shaking, it broke your heart to see the man you love being plagued with such fears.
“Aoi, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my love. You’re my soulmate. You make me happier than anyone in this world. You brighten up my day, the small things you do make me fall even more in love with you.”
You got up and bent down to hug him. You pulled back holding his face in your hands.
“Aoi I will never get tired of you. I let you leave me once and I never plan on doing it ever again. I love you Aoi Todo, I will love you until my heart stops beating and I will love you long after that. In every life I will look for you to recreate this love over and over again. If I had to go back in time I would go through this all over again just to be right here with you.”
Tears were falling down both of your faces by the time you stopped speaking. You wiped his tears away and he lifted his hands to wipe yours away. He pulled your face closer to his and kissed you.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so so sorry.”
He muttered apologies against your lips and when you both pulled away it was his turn to speak. You sat back down holding his hands above the table.
“I just got scared Y/N. I love you so much and I just can’t imagine my life without you. I look forward to the future with you, I want you by my side through every single endeavor. You’re my everything. You’re the sun that brightens my day. You’re the stars that shine through my night sky. You’re the air that I breathe. I love you.”
You stood up and pulled him along with you as you both walked out of the cafe. You drove the both of you home and once you entered you led him to the bedroom. Once you entered you undid his work shirt and pants stripping him to his underwear. You led him to the bed and sat him down.
“I never want you to question my love for you ever again.”
You kissed him and placed kisses down his body. Little nibbles along his pecs, a flick of your tongue along his nipples, slow sensual kisses until you reached the waistband of his boxers. You tugged at the waistband and he lifted his hips to help you properly take them off.
His cock slapped against his abdomen. You took it in your hand and gave it a few gentle strokes. You placed featherlight kisses from the head of his cock to the base. You took his head into your mouth swirling your tongue around it and letting it go with a pop.
You took your hand and spit on it using it to lube his cock for you and you started to take more of him into your mouth. His moans and groans filling the room along with the sounds of you gagging yourself on his cock.
When you popped up for air looking at him he could swear he just saw a goddess in front of him. Even with your saliva and tears coating your face he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. Even Aphrodite herself could not even come close to your beauty.
You got up and stripped off your clothing. You pushed him back gently to lay on the bed as you straddled him aligning his cock with your pussy. You sunk yourself down onto him, he tossed his head back into the bed feeling your warm slick walls welcome him in.
You started moving up and down slowly before gaining a rhythm bouncing on his cock. You moved your upper body close to his grabbing his face and making eye contact.
“I love you—ah fuck—Aoi. I love you so much. You fuck me so good. You are so handsome. Thank you for loving me.”
You felt his arms reach around your waist as planted his feet on the ground to pound into you. Once he started jackhammering into you repeatedly hitting your g-spot you felt yourself cumming around him over and over again.
He used this position to pull as many orgasms as he could from you until he had his own and with how tight you were around him it would be extremely soon. You felt his cock twitch inside you.
“Please cum inside me Aoi, please please please. I need you to fill me up please I need your cum.”
He pulled you down and his hips lifted bottoming out inside you, filling you with his cum. You let your full weight go onto him as you were catching your breath. Hard breaths filled the room. You looked at him and kissed him again.
“I love you Aoi.”
“I love you more Y/N.”
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The following week you both moved into your forever home. Todo made dinner and ordered your favorite dessert to celebrate the move. It was also the day that he was going to propose. He knew how much you hated public proposals and receiving unnecessary attention so why not do it at home?
When you were doing the dishes making small conversation on how you saw a documentary about female serial killers he got the ring and went on one knee.
“So all of her victims were just random men who had green eyes, isn’t that—”
“Y/N.”
You turned around and dropped the sponge in your hand. Your jaw drops at the sight of the man you love and the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.
“Y/N, you have made me the happiest man the past year and four months. Time with you has been amazing. You make me feel like I have been floating on air and I never want to come down. I love you so much. Will you continue this journey of life with me, as my wife?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”
You bent down to kiss him and he slipped the ring on your left finger. A few seconds later Valerie called, already aware of what Todo was planning to do. You set the date of the wedding six months from the day of the proposal.
The wedding was small and filled with only close friends and family. It was the happiest day of your life and everyone preferred Todo over your ex husband, even your father, who never liked any of your boyfriends.
“I like this guy a lot Y/N, I mean I’ve always liked him.”
“Dad you threatened to hunt him down when we first started dating in high school.”
“Oh honey it’s just dad stuff but that was a promise and it still stands.”
“Dad! He’s not like that, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and like I’m a precious gem.”
You both looked over at Todo sharing a dance with your mom and when he looked at you, you could see your future in them. Wherever he would go you would be there beside him as his wife.
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“this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.” Todo leaned forward and kissed you holding you in his arms. 
“I never thought that one person could make me feel so loved and make me feel so much love for them Y/N.”
Now married life was doing the both of you well. Nothing could tear the both of you apart. Not even the news on your one year anniversary that you both were going to have your first child. If Todo felt like he was on cloud nine before then holding your beautiful, healthy son in his arms made him feel he was in seventh heaven. 
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A/N pt2: thank you all for reading this, I’m really excited about how this work turned out I hope you all enjoyed it. This is by far my longest fic so I really appreciate you reading it through. I have much more on the way, if you have any requests my ask is open! Again thank you so much for reading I appreciate you all! — D <3
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pbandjesse · 2 years ago
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Today was a lot longer than I had anticipated it being. But I am a very good mood. I had a good time. Even if some of the kids were monsters.
I slept okay last night. I keep getting very very cold. Which I don't think is helping the healing of my lip. Which continues to be pretty scabby but right now looks much better than it did when I woke up.
I don't remember James leaving. Usually I do. But this time I woke up and was just very very tired. But I had a text message from Jessica telling me that Estelle's husband Bob had a pulmonary embolism. And while he was stable she wasn't going to be able to do the event tonight. Understandably. And asked if I would. I was going to say no but I ended up feeling like it was the right thing to do and that because the day was going to go almost all the way up to it that I can handle doing both the day shift and the night shift.
So I changed my plan for my outfit so that I could wear what I was going to wear for tonight. I like to wear all black and look nice for events. But I still want to be comfortable today. I think I did a good job.
I kept a warm compress on my lip while I got ready and I think that helped a lot. I'm going to do that again tonight. And then I headed to work. I was going to stop for breakfast but James got me a bagel so I had that to look forward to.
It was very gross out today. It was storming so bad. We were in a coastal flood advisory. And while it was fun seeing the rain from inside the building. It was not fun being in the rain. Very cold and very wet.
I was happy to see James though. They looked very cute today. Though they were very stressed out. There's an event tonight obviously. And they had been kind of a handful. But I would head back to get ready for my day.
I was very happy to see Jack. Rosia was interviewing Jack about some history stuff. Who knows what it was He's always talking about some history. I think this had to do with the carnival street fair thing that the harbor used to have that he is very interested in. I forget what it's called. But it was nice to listen to him and then I got to give Rosia the sash and she was so happy and it made me so happy that she was so happy. And she gave me a big hug, after asking for permission which I appreciated. And she would go talk to James about then mowing the money because I still do not have a venmo or cash app.
And then I talked to Jack about the cruise because I know he is the cruise expert. He's been on this Alaska cruise four different times. And he said that we're going to have the best time and that it's beautiful and he's very happy for us. He also gave some suggestions on things that we should see and things that we should do while we're out there which I appreciated as well. It's nice to be encouraged to explore.
The groups were kind of a nightmare. First of all they did not leave the school until 10:20. They were supposed to be there at 10:30. The school is 40 minutes away. So that wasn't great. And because it was raining so much and no one knows how to drive when it rains we knew they were going to be later but they ended up getting their rate around 11:00. And everything was fine. It was stressful but we made it work.
But besides my first tour oh my goodness today was a nightmare. Just the loudest group that had so many kids that thought they were too cool to participate. And we're just disrespectful in under the guise of being funny. It was not fun for us. And honestly I don't think that many of the other kids thought it was funny either. They were just being mean.
My coworker did not help. I'm not going to name names on here but one of my co-workers for our tour made the first room almost a full half an hour. So I had to continue to talk about my room because they wouldn't leave theirs. Then I took my kids around the corner to try to waste time. Thankfully the group I had on my tour was super sweet and it was not a problem. They had lots of good questions. But then I go into the room and I'm like hey move. And he literally was like I'm not done. And continued talking for 5 more minutes! I was so mad. just so rude to not get out of the way. The whole thing that we keep getting told is if you are overtime and another group comes in and gives you a wave you finish your sentence and you move on you don't start talking about a new thing. So I was like whatever and took my kids to blacksmithing and we continued our tour even though he was talking as well. I was very happy when he left the room. And then I took an extra 5 minutes in there so that we wouldn't run into each other as badly but he was still in that space when I moved on to the next room. It made my tour very unpleasant because that means my last room lost 10 minutes. I was pretty angry.
And then I went to drop my kids off at the assembly line which I was leading. And I couldn't get in the room yet because the last group wasn't quite done. Which is fine I just took my kids over to the car and had them use the bathroom in the other classroom. But Joel tells me that they don't have any car parts so I was running back to the office to grab some for us and I see this other co-worker taking his kids towards the lunchrooms. And he says he's taking him to the bathroom down there but he's like telling them all to go and I'm like we're supposed to be in the other classroom What are you doing. And he acts like I'm the insane one. So that was two of the things that he did today but there was a whole other incident where I told him which group to take on tour because I was number one and so I was making the calls and he tried to be like no that's not what I'm doing. I don't know what was wrong with him today because he's not normally like that but man didn't make me mad. And apparently he was making Jax tour go wrong too because Jack said he should be fired over it! I know Jack is dramatic but not that traumatic. It was a very upsetting. To the point that I had to text Jessica to come down to try to help sort it out.
And then getting my kids into the classroom was a nightmare. They were so loud and would not listen. And for the very first time I had to ask a teacher to remove a child from the program because he was air punching me. He never made contact with me but he was threatening me. And just being very disrespectful and pulling the materials out of my hands while I was trying to explain to the other kids at the table. None of the other kids at the table were acting like this. Some of the kids were acting like they were too cool to like any of my jokes but it was about half and half. They were just really loud and it was making my day not fun. I was very happy when it was over especially because they couldn't even be trusted to help reset for the next group. They were just destroying things. So when Jessica came down I asked if she could help move them to the lunchroom so that I could reset the room because we immediately had another group coming in. Thankfully I wasn't leading that one so Gabby brought all of them in and everything was fine but I let her know how bad that it had just gone so I would be resetting while she was giving her intro. It was a really stressful time.
Gabby's group was a little bit calmer though. Which was nice. It was still very tough. And I just really wanted to be finished.
And soon enough we were. We all got them out and I reset the room because Rosia was coming in with her group and once they were sad I went to go to the lunch room to debrief with everybody because man was today tough. But we made it.
After our complaining session we would all go back to the break room to do car parts. And at 2:30 when I was scheduled to leave I decided to go and get a sandwich. I said to James that I would be back and I drove over to Jimmy John's.
The rain had only gotten stronger at this point. It reminded me that I need to do another weatherproofing on this jacket if I'm going to bring it next week. It did a pretty good job of keeping me dry but the jacket itself on the outer layer got very wet. Which is not ideal.
My sandwich was good though. I sat in there and ate and was able to refill my soda so I would have a drink for tonight. And then I went back to the museum. Where things were in full swing.
The event tonight was a lot. It was a charity 501c3 situation. And they ended up being very nice to me but it seems like they stressed everybody out real bad. I'm glad I got that extra hour because I wanted to make a chase for them and corporate events are always more difficult. And it turned out it was two different things. It was a company that was working with the charity but they were both there. So I made both of them. The well and hons honey. And it was a lot of fun but I used the smallest font I've ever used. And that was very difficult. And honestly it was a little tough having multiple different chases because I didn't know who would care more about what. So I just made a bunch. And everybody loved it. I wish more people would have come back because I think they would have really gotten a kick out of it.
Two of the volunteers that were there ended up coming back and just being so lovely. And I'm really glad that I ended up talking to them because they run the veterans program at their job. Like the support group. And they're possibly interested in hiring me so I really need to flush that part of my website out. And when I get more workshop stuff up on there so that if people are interested in working with me I have somewhere I can direct them.
And I was just having a good night. But I didn't want to print too many of the things beforehand and I also didn't want to just stand there. So I decided I was going to start designing my new business card for the year.
And I had such a good time. Just says I should take the phone away because I don't have a phone number on the card which is fair. But I like it. I think it came out so cute. And I had a blast making it. I also figured out a new way to put the chases together where I'm using masking tape instead of magnets and it was so much more secure and way easier so I think I'm going to try to do that next time too. Especially if I'm going to use such little letters but even with a larger ones it made my life a lot easier.
I did get to talk to a bunch of people. I didn't get to eat anything which is fine. It's just a perk when it does happen. But apparently our security guard literally went to the person throwing the event and asked when they were going to get/give him food. Which is so rude! He's going to get in trouble for that. Well I think it's rude that they wouldn't provide meals for staff. You don't ask. That is like so out of the social contract to do. I don't know it just was weird to me.
I did have fun tonight though. And Deborah and Aubrey were there and it was really nice to see them. We caught up and I can talk forever if you let me so I was having a great time. And then at the end of the night Angie came and found me and asked if it would be okay if I gave Debra a ride to Mount Vernon. Of course I can. It is disgusting out and I don't want her walking home. Apparently she brought a second pair of pants so that if she got all wet she wouldn't have to walk home all damp. I'm not going to let you walk in the rain. Get in my car.
So we had a lovely conversation. Where I told her all about why and how I love packing. And how it's one of my great joys. I love packing and organizing because it is the one thing that I can control in my trips. I can't control with the airplane or the train or the hotel does. I can control what I bring. And making the most efficient packing makes me happy. And she thought that was great. She was very impressed and she said she was happy for me.
I just dropped her off and I'm sitting outside in my car now. I am going to head into my house and see James and hopefully eat something warm. It is still raining. And I still have things to do before I go to bed.
I have my mending workshop tomorrow. Which I am not technically ready for. I have all the stuff in my basket but I want to look at it one more time to make sure I'm not missing anything. I have 10 participants tomorrow I hope they all come I'm really looking forward to it. Fingers crossed. I hope it's a really good day. I hope that you all have a great night and take care of each other. It's going to be a good week I can't believe how long today was though because man am I tired all of a sudden.
Good night everybody. Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves.
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tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years ago
Text
like it’s a little secret, like it’s all he has to give
for @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels <3
read on ao3
He didn’t mean for this to happen.
Well, no. He wanted it to happen, had been planning to make it happen with a lot more wooing and sweeping off of feet to get them to a perfect moment where he could tell Buck exactly how much he loves him and needs him in his life.
So he did want it to happen, of course. He just didn’t expect it to happen like it did — after a night out with the team, in the dim light of his living room, during a tipsy game of Truth or Dare like they were in high school again. Buck had said, “Dare”, and the three beers and two shots swimming in Eddie’s brain said, “I dare you to kiss me.”
And he did.
And one kiss turned into two, turned into making out on Eddie’s couch, turned into stumbling blindly toward the bedroom, turned into fingertips burning trails up backs, whispered confessions into necks, and muffled moans of yes and more and please and Eddie.
So it happened. It’s still happening.
That isn’t the problem. 
The problem is that it happened six months ago and they still haven’t told anyone.
It’s not that they don’t trust their friends or that they aren’t serious about each other. In fact, they’re probably too serious about each other, about making this the thing that sticks. The morning after their first night together, they talked for hours about their past failed relationships and insecurities, laying every, ugly part out for each other to see.
“I just want to be enough,” Eddie said, throat as raw as his insides felt. 
Buck’s hand slid up his back to scratch through his hair. “You’re more than enough for me. And I’d like to stick around and prove that to you, as long as you’ll let me.”
“Forever, ideally.”
“Forever it is.”
“I’m gonna fuck this up.”
Buck shrugged. “So will I. Maybe we give ourselves some time — fuck things up quietly before we let other people know?”
Eddie kissed Buck again, softly, soundly, relief surging through him because Buck gets it and wants to make this work and, this way, he feels like they may actually have a chance.
So that was that. Nothing really changed — Buck was still at the Diaz house more often than not, but now sleepovers meant Buck was in bed with Eddie instead of on the couch (except for the half hour before Chris woke up when Buck snuck out to the living room). They were still a dynamic duo on calls, they just also had each other after calls now too, especially bad ones. They were able to get to know each other as boyfriends instead of just best friends, figure out what they wanted and needed from a relationship, and smooth out the bumps they hit on their own, without any outside influence.
Now, they’re in a good spot. The best spot. And six months is a long time to keep quiet about something that makes Eddie so happy he could explode. But—
“They’re gonna be mad,” he says, head pillowed in Buck’s lap, absently picking at the label of his empty beer bottle. Buck hums, fingers combing through Eddie’s hair, the TV softly playing some reality show about a yacht crew.
“You don’t think they’ll be happy for us too?”
“They probably have a betting pool going on us. Then they’ll be mad and gloating.”
Buck’s hand stills on his head. “Eddie, if you don’t want to—”
Eddie scrambles up to sitting, taking both of Buck’s hands in his because he’s stopping that train of thought right now. “I do want to. I really do. I’m just—”
“Nervous?”
Eddie nods, absently placing a kiss inside Buck’s wrist as he gathers his thoughts. “I trust you. More than anything. And I trust us. I just don’t trust anything else, not yet. We’ve been in our own little world for a while, I just need to get used to that not being the case anymore.” 
Buck’s quiet for a minute before he leans forward, kissing Eddie’s forehead. “I don’t really trust anything else either. I’m happy to wait and follow your lead. As long as you know you’re stuck with me.”
Eddie kisses him quickly before laying back down, Buck’s hand automatically threading into his hair again. “You’re stuck with me, too. Even when cute, injured bikers try to steal me away—”
He feels a sharp tug on his hair. “I knew you did that on purpose!”
Buck’s jealous streak is a mile wide, Eddie’s known that since the day they met. So what if he’s exploited it a little while they’ve been sneaking around? How could he have known for sure that a little extra flirting on a call would get him blown within an inch of his life in a storage closet as soon as they got back to the station? He’d surely expected it, but…
Whatever. Sue him. His boyfriend’s hot when he’s territorial, and he’s only a man.
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie should have known the universe would start fucking with them almost immediately.
The team has never been shy about trying to set both of them up — there’s always a friend of a friend or a second cousin or a neighbor that would be perfect for, as Hen so lovingly puts it, “our hot and lonely coworkers”. It’s only gotten worse in the past month or so, when a team trivia night turned into a team-and-significant-others trivia night, “forcing” Buck and Eddie to pair up to even things out. Ever since, he’s been cornered almost every day by Hen and/or Chim, each with a handful of people that would love to take Eddie out to dinner, and he knows they do the same to Buck. He’s pretty sure they have a shared spreadsheet about it.
“Come on Eddie, Nick is great! He’s tall, he owns a gym, his dog is cute—”
“Chim,” Eddie cuts him off, pulling his head out of the fridge to face Chimney and Hen seated at the island. He could end it now, just tell them I don’t want to go out with your new personal trainer because I already have a boyfriend, but it’s the middle of shift and everyone is still lingering from lunch and...it’s too much right now. Over Chim’s shoulder, he can see Buck looking at him from the couch, probably thinking the same thing (because they do that a little too often). Buck just raises his eyebrows and shrugs, saying I’m following your lead. Eddie falls a little bit more in love with him.
He focuses back on Hen and Chim. “I appreciate you guys worrying about me in your own weird way, but I’m fine. Plus, I have a thing and Chris’ school Thursday night anyway.” 
He does not have a thing at Chris’ school, and he feels bad using his kid like this, but drastic times call for drastic measures.
Hen holds up her hands as Chim deflates just a little. “Fine fine,” she says. “We know you’re busy.” She looks at Chim, and they have a quick conversation with their eyebrows before he gets up and slowly walks toward Buck.
“So, Buck, my dear pseudo brother-in-law. How’s your Thursday—”
Buck doesn’t even look up from his book. “No. Maddie and I are having a wine night, and we’re gonna talk shit about you the entire time.”
Chim squawks at that, and Eddie does a bad job of turning his laugh into a cough. It does get them to back off for the rest of the week, though Eddie resigns himself to this vicious cycle of theirs until he can finally shake the feeling that everything he and Buck have been building will dissolve through his fingertips as soon as they let anyone else in. 
It’s vicious but predictable. Easy to follow, easy to get ahead of. It gives Eddie a little room to breathe while he sorts his head out.
Naturally, that’s when Abuela decides to get involved.
Eddie’s never been able to refuse her anything — that’s how he ended up at her house on his day off in the first place, fixing a broken dryer and tightening cabinets and anything else she happens to remember she needs while he’s here. He really doesn’t mind, and he’s happy to spend any time with her that he can, but she’s been...prying. All day. As casually as she can, but he can tell she’s fishing for something. 
“Edmundo,” she says as they sit down for lunch. “You’re telling me you can’t even remember the last time you went on a date?”
Of course he can — he and Buck haven’t been able to go on many “normal” dates since they got together, but they did manage to coordinate a weekend in Ojai a few weeks back where all they did was eat, lounge by the pool, and have sex in their much-too-fancy-for-them hotel room. 
That counts as a couple of dates, right?
He shrugs instead. “I’ve been busy. Between work and Chris, I’ve just got a lot on my plate. I don’t really have time for dating.” And I don’t think my boyfriend would be too happy about it, he thinks.
“Of course,” she says. She keeps eating like that’s the end of that, but he knows there’s something else. When she finishes, she pushes her plate aside and looks at him dead on, with that There’s no way you’re getting out of this look in her eyes. “You know, if you did want to get out there again, my friend Diana has a granddaughter around your age that just moved to LA and wants to meet some people.”
There it is.
“Abuela, I really don’t think—” 
“It doesn’t have to be a date, it can just be dinner! The two of you getting to know each other. She’s sweet, she’s beautiful, and she’s a teacher, so she’s great with kids. At the very least, she could be a good friend.” She reaches across the table and grabs his hand in both of hers. “You work too hard, Edmundo. You deserve to do something nice for yourself, and that can be as easy as going out to a nice restaurant with a pretty girl for one night.”
He should tell her. He should tell her everything, even though Buck’s not here, even though he still has a stupid voice in his head telling him that as soon as their bubble pops, the likelihood of everything going belly up will skyrocket. He doesn’t want to lead this poor girl on, but Abuela is also looking at him all sad and hopeful, because she does want him to be happy, and—
“Fine. One dinner.”
Abuela cheers, actually cheers, and hugs him tightly before getting her phone. She calls Diana to set everything up themselves, rather than giving Eddie the girl’s — Chelsea’s — number. By the time he leaves, they’re set for 8pm next Friday at an Italian place downtown, and they each have a description of what the other will be wearing. “Like a real blind date,” Abuela says, and Eddie tries not to actually kick himself for falling into this trap.
He needs to get out of this. Abuela wouldn’t give him her number (“so your first meeting will be as magical as possible”), so he’ll just have to tell her right from the start on Friday. He feels bad, but hopefully she’s as nice as he’s been told and she takes it okay. And should he tell Buck? Probably, but is it even an issue if he’s not actually going through with the date? Buck’s working an overnight on Friday, so he won’t even be around when he’s supposed to be out. He could smooth it all over himself and then really sit down and get his shit together to figure out how they’re going to tell everyone, so no more fake dates happen ever again. 
He’s got this. It’s not his best idea ever, but it’ll have to do. Everything will be totally fine.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Eds? You home?”
Shit.
Eddie scrambles to shut his bedroom door, tripping over himself in the process and landing flat on his back. That’s how Buck finds him, and his stomach drops as he watches Buck’s face switch between worry and confusion as he takes in Eddie’s button down and slacks.
“Uh, hey,” he says. Buck offers a hand to help him up. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I’m on my way, just needed to grab my phone charger,” Buck says as he pulls Eddie up, checking him out again like he’s confirming that his brain isn’t playing tricks on him. “You’re awfully dressed up for your night off.”
Eddie sighs heavily through his nose. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid, and if he had left 10 minutes earlier like he meant to it would have been fine. But now Buck’s here, and he refuses to lie to him. He’s already been lying by omission enough this week.
“Abuela kinda set me up for dinner with her friend’s granddaughter,” he says quickly, panicking when Buck’s eyes go wide and his cheeks go pale. “But,” he moves closer, placing both hands firmly on Buck’s shoulders, taking it as a good sign that he doesn’t pull away, “I’m just going long enough to tell her that I’m very taken and this whole thing was a mistake. I promise, nothing was ever going to happen.” Buck does pull away then, and Eddie’s hands fall heavily back to his sides. “Buck, please—”
“I know,” he says quietly. “I know you wouldn’t do that to me. But Eds, I told you I’d follow your lead when it came to telling people about us, and if that meant fake dating other people that’s cool, I just wish you talked to me about it first. We’ve got to communicate and stuff, we’re on the same team here.”
“You’re right,” Eddie says. He slowly reaches for Buck’s hands, relieved again when he lets him. “I should have told you. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, and I didn’t want you to worry or think things were bad with us, because they’re not. But still. I’m sorry.” Buck doesn’t move, just stares at the floor. Eddie squeezes his hands. “Are we good?”
Buck finally looks up, and Eddie can’t get a read on his emotions like he usually can. But he squeezes his hands back and gives him a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’re good. But I should get going.” He slips out of Eddie’s hands and out the front door without another word. 
There was no yelling or accusations or anything bad, really, but Eddie still feels gutted, like every fear he had about messing up is starting to manifest like he knew they would. He should go after Buck, tell him how much he loves him, how much he trusts him, but he’s 20 minutes late now, and when he pictures Chelsea standing all by herself in a crowded restaurant looking for him, he feels a whole different wave of guilt crash inside him.
He’s going to fix this, all of this. He has to. And he’s got a 30 minute drive to think of a new plan.
~~~~~~~~~~
The drive ends up being closer to an hour, and all Eddie does is convince himself that the next time Buck sees him, he’s going to realize that Eddie’s not good enough for him and break up with him on the spot.
The restaurant is loud and crowded, lit mainly by the low candles placed on each table. Eddie’s eyes scan the room until he spots her at the bar — emerald dress and gold heels, just like Diana had told him. He slides into the empty seat next to her, awkwardly waving to get her attention. “Chelsea?”
She looks at him with a warm smile. “Edmundo, right?”
“Eddie’s fine.” He steals himself, figures ripping the band-aid right off is probably the best thing to do. “Look, I’m really sorry—”
“That’s not a great way to start a date.”
Guilt curls tighter in his stomach and up his arms. “This has been a huge misunderstanding. I’m kind of— I’m already in a relationship, and we haven’t told anyone, and my abuela was just trying to help, and she knows I can’t say no to her, and now everything is falling apart.” He feels even worse dumping all this on a woman he’s known for three minutes, but his brain seems to be doing its own thing at the moment, he’s just along for the ride.
She looks at him for a minute, before waving the bartender over. “Well, you’re here, and you sound like you’re about to lose your mind. Have one drink with me, and tell me everything.”
So he orders a Jack on the rocks and spills his guts — tells her about Buck, about why they kept everything under wraps, his plans to fix everything, how he’s so fucking scared that once everyone knows and their little fantasy world is gone, Buck will realize that he can do better, that he deserves better, and Eddie will have to put himself back together somehow. He’s not sure exactly how long he talks, but Chelsea listens intently to every word, and Eddie actually feels better when he’s done.
She finishes the last of her gin and tonic and looks him right in the eye. “I know we just met, but can I be real with you?”
Eddie nods as he knocks back his own drink.
“Your plans suck.”
He laughs and almost shoots whiskey out of his nose. “Yeah, I think I’m starting to figure that out too.”
“Look — you love your boyfriend, right?” she asks as she hands him a napkin.
“Of course. More than anything.”
“And he loves you.”
He thinks about the way Buck looks at him, no matter where they are, like he's the only person worth looking at. How it took a little while, but now he actually feels worthy of a gaze like that. “Yeah, he does.”
She shrugs. “Then it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. You have each other — everything and everyone else is just background noise.”
It’s such a simple thing, something Eddie’s known for months now, but hearing it come from someone else gives his mind that final shove that makes everything click into place and finally stick. They do have each other, he and Buck are a team, on and off the clock. That’s not going to change, if anything because they’re both too stubborn and in too deep to let it change.
“I know you’re already a teacher, but you should seriously consider becoming a therapist if you ever switch careers.”
“Believe me, this is nothing compared to the middle school problems I deal with on a daily basis.”
He shudders at the very idea of dealing with that many 13 year olds. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but thanks.” Slumping back in his chair, he scrubs a hand over his face. “I don’t even know how to start fixing this.”
Chelsea hums, face scrunched as she thinks. “You said he’s at work right? With all your friends too?” Eddie nods. “Sounds like as good a time as any to tell them. And remind Buck that you're with him one hundred percent.”
Eddie’s never been one for big, romantic gestures, but she’s right, and this is for Buck. He’ll do pretty much anything for Buck.
He stands, takes some cash out of his wallet for their drinks and places it on the bar. “Thank you Chelsea, seriously. This was...weird, and not a good first impression of me, but you’re a lifesaver.”
She smiles that warm smile again, and it feels real, no trace of pity or awkwardness. “No problem, I’m happy to help. Maybe we can get coffee sometime, as friends? I didn’t get a chance to dive into my own relationship woes.”
“Deal,” he says, laughing as he hands her his phone to actually get her number. They hug goodbye, and he all but sprints out the door and back to his truck, mind already racing trying to figure out what the hell he’s going to do once he gets to the firehouse. 
If he’s honest, this “date” really couldn’t have gone any better. He hopes the rest of his night turns out just as positive, too.
~~~~~~~~~~
The team’s in between calls when Eddie finally arrives, which is great but also does not give him a lot of time to prepare himself for whatever comes next. Rationally, he knows everything will be fine — the team will be thrilled for them, Buck will be thrilled — but there’s still that nagging voice telling him that Chelsea was wrong and that everything’s going to blow up in his face.
He shoves that voice as far away as he can and walks into the station.
There’s no plan this time beyond “find Buck”, which he does pretty quickly once he gets up to the loft. Everyone else is up here too, it seems, but he sees Buck first, curled up on the couch and watching Hen and Chim play Super Smash Bros. He has that same blank look he had on his face when he left Eddie’s earlier, and Eddie hates it. But that’s exactly what he came here to fix.
Buck double takes when he notices him at the top of the stairs, slowly unfurling himself to stand. “What are you doing here?”
A thousand thoughts fly through his head, trying to coalesce into some sweeping romantic speech that would reassure Buck of all the things Eddie’s sure he’s doubting right now. But nothing feels right, nothing even begins to scratch the surface of what Eddie’s feeling, has been feeling for the past months. Everything is fleeting and empty, pale in comparison to the technicolor love he feels every time Buck so much as looks in his direction.
Words aren’t working, but Eddie really isn’t a man of words anyway — he is, however, and man of action.
“I’m communicating,” he says, taking three long strides across the loft to Buck, grabbing his face in both of his hands, and kissing him hard. He tastes like smoke and peppermint and something fundamentally Buck that Eddie’s addicted to, and he feels a smile against his lips as Buck kisses him back in earnest. He’s not sure if it’s been seconds or years when they finally pull away from each other, but they’re both breathless and Buck is glowing and Eddie doesn’t care about anything else.
“I love you,” he says, hands still on Buck’s cheeks. “And I’m sorry. I’m always on your team, as long as you’ll let me be there.” 
Buck’s smile somehow gets even bigger. “Forever, ideally.”
Eddie’s laugh bubbles out of him as he leans back in, but stops when he hears a throat clearing somewhere to his right. He looks, and everyone — everyone, including people who were definitely downstairs when he got here — is staring at them with varying degrees of shock and excitement on their faces. Ripping the band-aid off works in his favor again.
“So,” Hen says slowly from the couch. “This is new.”
Eddie shrugs as he grabs Buck’s hand. “Not really. Unless six months old is new, I guess.”
“Six months old?”
“Closer to seven, actually,” Buck says.
There’s a clatter as Chim drops his controller and stands, arms up over his head. “That means I win!”
“Whoa, hold on, you do not—”
The loft erupts as everyone swarms Hen, talking technicalities and logistics of what was apparently a very elaborate betting pool. Buck hides his face in Eddie’s shoulder as he laughs.
“Do you think they’re actually happy for us?” Eddie asks. “Or mad that we screwed up their winnings?”
Buck looks up, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. “Probably both. But I’m the real winner here.”
“And a huge cheeseball,” Eddie says.
“Better get used to it, because you’re not getting rid of me,” Buck says, winding his arms around Eddie’s waist and kissing him again.
“Forever, right?” Eddie asks as they break apart, foreheads resting together. All he sees are Buck’s eyes, sparkling blue in the light of the loft and so full of happiness — happiness because of Eddie — that he wants to drown in them.
“Yeah. Forever. No turning back now.”
Eddie likes the sound of that.
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disasterofastory · 4 years ago
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Join Part 1 (Finan x Reader x Sihtric)
Join Part 1 Finan x Sihtric x Reader Warnings: throuple relationship
Finan and Sihtric are in a relationship, and they want Y/N to join them.
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The guys are already at the alehouse when you arrive to work. Uhtred and his men always come here first after they rested from their long journey. Their table is loud and joyful. Besides Finan’s laugh, everything else seems quiet and calm. You can’t help yourself but smile whenever you hear it. The building is almost empty. It's still early in the morning, and the usual drunkards are still unconscious somewhere. You tie an apron around your waist as you reach the counter, greeting the other girl who is already working. You smooth down your dark green skirt and adjust your hair in a messy braid. You serve the guests with a friendly smile as the day goes on. You know almost every one of them. The farmers come in for a quick drink and breakfast before they start to work on their lands, and women come in too for a break before the place gets rowdy and annoying. Of course, you didn't dream about this job when you were a little girl, but it could be worse. You know how to protect yourself, and even the drunk men are smart enough to know not to mess with somebody who gives them food and alcohol. And even if something goes wrong, there are always men who are ready to protect you from idiots.
Finan and Sihtric, for example.
“Y/N!” Finan greets you with a huge smile when you step next to him with a new pitcher full of ale. “Finan,” you reciprocate his smile, pouring more ale into his cup. “How was your journey, my Lord?” You ask Uhtred. “It went well,” he answers with a warm smile. “But it’s good to be home.” “It’s always too quiet when you, rascals are away,” you tell him cheekily, and he laughs at your words. “You missed us, Y/N?” Sihtric asks you, and you feel Finan's arms around your waist. His touch is warm and gives you comfort even if you get a little bit embarrassed because of his affection. He is always touchy and never misses a chance to hug you. You get used to his behavior, but you still afraid of Sihtric’s reaction despite the Dane never showed his disliking. “Of course, she missed us!” Finan answers instead of you, hugging you closer to his side. “Let the Lady work,” Osferth says, looking at you between Finan and Sihtric. “Thank you,” you smile at him. “Somebody has to, if you guys plan to stay here all day,” you continue with a smirk on your lips as you step back and go to do your chores.
You still feel Finan’s warmth on your waist.
You are too busy to look back at them, but the two men follow you with their gazes for a while as you walk back and forth between guests. You smile and laugh and talk with everyone who has something to say. Your dress is wrinkled from work, but you are still stunning in their eyes. “When do you stop beating around the bush and ask what you have to ask?” Uhtred asks them, smirking. The men turn back to the table, hearing their Lord's teasing voice. “We will,” Finan says confidently. “When the time is right.” “And when will it be?” Osferth asks. “When she finds another man?” Sihtric and Finan look at each other with a slight panic. “She wouldn’t,” Finan argues, but his voice is uncertain. “Why wouldn’t she? She is young and beautiful,” Uhtred replies with a nod to the Baby Monk. “And she works in an alehouse with a bunch of men around him,” Osferth continues their reasoning. “We should maybe move to the next step,” Sihtric advises his boyfriend, who nods in agreement. “Wait. You are already in a step?” Uhtred asks, drinking from his cup. “You don’t understand it,” Finan shakes his head, a little bit upset. Even the thought you could be with someone else besides them angers him. “Of course, I don’t,” the Lord nods with mockery in his voice. “I only have two wives.”
The sun is almost down when you are done with your work, and you can take off the apron for today. The alehouse is busy with tired men and women who want to have some fun at the end of the day before they go home to sleep. You say goodbye to your coworkers and continue your way to the exit. “Y/N,” Finan shout your name before you could step out of the door. “Oh, hey,” you smile tiredly at them when you notice Sihtric sitting next to him. “I thought you are long gone.” “We came back,” Finan answers. “Would you like to join us?” He asks you, hoping. “I would love to, but I’m really tired,” you reply, and you already hate yourself when you see their crestfallen reaction. “Then… then…” Finan starts to speak, and you can see the wheels working in his head to come up with another solution. “Tomorrow?” Sihtric asks. “You don’t work tomorrow.” You are surprised he knows it, but you don’t mention it. “Yes, tomorrow would be better. You could come over for dinner,” you nod, and the excited smile returns on Finan’s face. “Then tomorrow, Lady.”
Your day off seems like a blink. You went to the market where you invited Uhtred and Osferth for dinner, then you went home to tidy up your small house and get ready to cook, and before you knew, you heard a knock on your door.
Lord Uhtred smiles at you brightly when you open the door for them. You look him over suspiciously because he is too happy and contented just because of a dinner while Osferth is the opposite of him. He seems uncomfortable even if he tries to hide his feelings as he steps into your home with a polite smile and nod. You stare at them as they sit down at your table when Finan steps in front of you to kiss your face as a greeting. He smiles at you as he says your name, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sit down,” you smile after the Irishman, and you almost jump at surprised when you feel Sihtric’s lips too on your skin. “It’s good to see you, Y/N,” he greets you with his usual calm demeanor. The boys unusually quiet while you serve the chicken with potatoes and cheese. You pour ale for all of them and sit down to eat too. For a while, you eat silently, looking back and forth between the men around you. Uhtred is still too pleased, considered the awkward atmosphere. The Baby Monk fidgets on his chair, concentrating too much on his food, and the other two seem disappointed. “Are you okay?” You asked them when you can’t bear the silence anymore. “Of course, Y/N,” Uhtred answers, smirking. And you don’t believe him. “Something is wrong with the food?” You turn to the other three. “It’s delicious as always,” Sihtric ensures you, placing his hand on yours to squeeze it gently. His touch is warm and comforting, and the contact lasts longer than usual. You steal a glance in Finan’s direction to see his reaction, but he just stares at his boyfriend’s hand on yours with a gentle expression. “Then what’s wrong?” You ask stubbornly, looking around the men once again. “It was just a long day, Y/N,” Finan answers this time. “Okay,” you murmur. You don’t believe him either.
After the awkward dinner, your days are uneventful. The guys are happy and loud again when you meet with them the next time in the alehouse. Finan smiles at you, kissing your face when you place the cup of ale before him. Sihtric reaches out for your hand to squeeze it as a thank you. “How are you?” He asks you. “It’s a busy night,” you tell him, looking around the crowd. “The night will be long, but I’m fine.” “We escort you home after you are done here.” “Oh, you don’t have to, guys. I’m sure you have a better thing to do,” you decline their offer, but they are too stubborn. “Why would we have better things to do when we can be with a pretty lady?” Finan asks you cheekily. You are so surprised at his words you can’t even answer him for a few moments. You look at Sihtric to see his reaction, but he just smiles at you, nodding. “Umm,” you murmur. “Okay.”
The alehouse is still crowded and loud when you are done with your job for today. The two men wait for your at the entrance and don’t hesitate to hold your hands and hug your waist when you reach them. Of course, you know it’s weird, and maybe people think of you badly because of the situation you are in, but you are too tired to fight against it. And it’s pleasant. Their touches are soft and warm, and reassuring. You feel safe walking between them and despite the late hour and the tiredness they can make you laugh and have fun on the way to your home. “The alehouse is unusually crowded, no?” Sihtric asks you, still holding your hand in his. Your arms touch as you walk next to each other. You can smell the ale on him mixed with hay. “Payday,” you reply. “You are just never there long enough for the crowd to arrive,” you smile at the Dane. “Or sober enough,” you add, smirking. “Are you insinuating something?” Finan laughs, pulling you closer to him. “No, why would you think that?” You continue teasing him. “I think we have a bad effect on you,” he says. His arms go around your shoulders, and your whole body is against his side, while Sihtric moves closer to you, still holding your hand. In the back of your mind, you imagine it differently. They hold you and hug you because they love you, and you love them back. In the back of your mind, you walk back to your shared home. In the back of your mind, these boys are yours, and you are theirs.
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coexiising · 4 years ago
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Good Neighbors - Chapter One
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SUMMARY ✦ You were excited to learn that someone was finally moving into that old house next to your own. The Skywalker-Amidala family seemed like a great addition to your friendly neighborhood, with their two twin kids and happy personalities. Though, the more you get to know your neighbors, the closer you get to the husband of the family: Anakin Skywalker.
WARNING(S) ✦ Modern! Anakin Skywalker, Alternate Universe, Infidelity, Eventual Smut, not so slow burn, Eventual Romance, Neighbors, and they were neighbors, anakin looks so good in a suit, sneaking around, forbidden love
NOTE ✦ I’ve been wanting to write a Modern! Anakin fanfic for a while now, so here we go! This will be a multi chapter fic, I don’t know how many yet but expect a lot because I’ve got some ideas to play out! This chapter is more of an introductory, but expect some more spicy drama in the next coming chapters. 
»»————- ✼ ————-««
As tradition goes every year, you could smell the smoke coming from the middle of your neighborhood's culdesac while you made your way outside your garage with your mother, who held a large tray of potato salad in her hands that she insisted she carried herself over to the white tables in the distance. It was hot outside, early July was coming strong this year with the heat, reaching a staggering eighty nine degrees outside and it was already well past noon. Though, you should’ve been expecting the heat, since it seemed to creep up on you every time this yearly cookout happened.
It had been a little tradition, jokingly deemed a ‘holiday’ by your younger brother, that had been going on for as long as you could think back to. You could remember being five years old and running around with the neighborhood kids and jumping into your pool after eating the bountiful amount of food that was supplied for the families that participated. It used to be a handful of them, three or four families that came and had a small little barbeque together. But over time that changed, and now it became a whole neighborhood thing.  
The dads of the block always started earlier to get everything set up, which was really the long white tables where food could be set and setting up the large grill on the pavement. And the moms always slaved away in their kitchens making some type of side dish, whether it be fruit cups, potato salads, or whatever. You were twenty two now, almost done with your undergraduate degree, and you wondered if you would ever find this sense of friendliness anywhere else when you eventually moved from your home. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to leave, it was just more convenient for you to stay and you didn’t mind your family that much. They were supportive, there for you no matter what, and your home was close to your University anyways.
“I wonder if Lisa is going to wear that ugly dress she bought the other day,” Your mother stated, making short, languid strides next to you. “She brought it to the house a few days ago when we were having a little wine date and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was definitely not twenty five anymore and that dress did not hug her in the right places.”
You laughed, jokingly hitting your mom on the shoulder. “Mom, come on, it can’t be that bad.” She didn’t respond, only grinning towards you with a hint of playfulness filling her eyes behind her thick, black sunglasses. Your eyes scanned the crowd already forming, kids on the outside running around with a ball. You knew a lot of them, even held some of them as babies after they were born. But when you took another glance at the group, you saw that there were two you didn’t recognize. A boy and a girl, both looking similar to one another and the only difference being the slightly different shades of their hair. “Mom, who are they?” You asked, pointing to the girl and boy who were now fighting each other for control over the soccer ball.
“Oh, they’re the kids of the new neighbors,” Your mom answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You looked over at the house next to your own, a two story one with white coloring and many windows. It had been for sale forever and it became quite the local news when someone actually bought it. You guess you hadn’t realized that the people who bought it were now occupying it. “They’re twins, I think. The mom and dad are on the younger side too. Courtney says that the husband is working at that law firm down on first street and apparently the wife wants to run for senator in a year.” How the hell did she know this much about everyone? You shouldn’t even question it at this point, since she was friends with all the neighborhood moms who loved to gossip.
Looking around for any unfamiliar faces, you were surprised to see none. Were they not coming out for the cookout? It seemed like the perfect place for them to meet everybody. “Oh!” Your mom exclaimed. “I forgot the tongs on the kitchen counter, could you go get them for me, please?” Without a second thought you nodded, turning on your heel and making your way back towards your house. As much as you loved your mom, you were sometimes annoyed with her forgetfulness, especially because you asked her if she had everything three times before you left just a few moments ago. Oh well, it wasn’t that big of a deal, you would be in and out in no time.
You walked up the well cut grass of your lawn to your front door, sandaled foot almost hitting the concrete when you heard the creak of another door. It belonged to the door of the house beside you, the light tapping of shoes making their way onto the patio filled your ears, feeling somewhat foreign since you weren’t used to hearing anything from that house. You wondered what it looked like inside, if everything was rusted and worn. It had to have been almost ten years since someone lived there.
But when you turned to finally get a look at your neighbor, your thoughts were completely halted.
Your mom was right, he, most likely being the husband, was on the younger side. He had to be in his early thirties, still a lot of youth painting his broadened features. His skin was lightly tanned, it was hard not to notice the way that the sun seemed to do a good job in painting his long, muscular arms that reached to close the door behind him. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and black pants, though it wasn’t like something that you had seen other dads wear before, it was more formal, more pristine like he was trying to make an appearance. But if the story checked out, he was supposed to be a lawyer, it was his job to look professional. You continued to look at him, almost shamefully so as your eyes trailed from his clothing to his face, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and the blues of his eyes that very much reminded you of the light blue sky above you now. And then to his hair, which was cut short and had a golden glow to it.
Right as you were about to turn and get into your house, the ball that had been with the group of kids came flying your way, hitting against the door next to you and making you jump at the loud noise. It was lucky that it didn’t fly through a window, or your parents would’ve gone ballistic. You could hear some of the parents start to shout at the kids, telling them to stay away from the houses if they were planning on kicking that thing off of the ground. The same kids you were questioning earlier ran up your lawn, most definitely to retrieve the ball that would’ve hit you dead on if you hadn’t been gawking at their father.
“Luke, I told you to not kick it that way!” The girl, Leia, yelled towards her brother, a little stomp in her step as they made their way towards you. You picked up the ball and held it in your hands, kneeling down and waiting for the kids to approach you. Luke shook his head, shaggy hair falling into his eyes and saying, “It wasn’t me! It was that other guy over there. Why do you always blame me!” You laughed, the dynamic almost reminding you of you and your brother when you were younger.
Handing them the red rubber ball, they both gave you a small ‘thank you’ and Leia muttered a tiny ‘sorry’ and they went on their way. Watching as they went, you didn’t even realize that someone else was walking up to you. Still kneeling, you looked up and saw that it was your neighbor, looking down at you with a tiny, pleasant smile on his face. You blushed, realizing the awkward position and stood up, ignoring the heat coming to your cheeks and offering a smile to him as well. Being this close to him, you could see that he was tall as well, standing a good couple inches over you. Usually this would’ve made you feel intimidated, but for some reason it made you want to draw closer to him. You mentally scolded yourself for thinking this way, knowing that he was your new neighbor, and not to mention he had two very cute twins and a wife who was probably beautiful.
“Sorry about that, I hope they didn’t scare you that bad,” He said, taking a glance at his kids who were already starting another round of whatever game they were playing with the others. His voice was low, but there was a sense of calm to it. It wasn’t rough or gravelly, almost like honey as he spoke to you. “I haven’t seen you here before, do you live here? I think I’ve seen your mom and dad around but we were waiting until the cookout to introduce ourselves.” Kind of a stupid question to ask since you were standing on your porch with your keys in your hand, though you gave him the benefit of the doubt.
“Yeah, um,” You thought back to the day you saw your neighbors two cars parked in the driveway, was that a Sunday? No, it was a Monday. “I’m usually around here more but last week I had to pick up a couple shifts at work to help my friend.” Your coworker and friend came down with the flu and had to find someone to cover her ships ASAP, and you weren’t doing anything important and stepped in to help.
He nodded. “Makes sense. I’m Anakin Skywalker, you already met my kids but they’re Luke and Leia.” Skywalker. A strange last name that confused you for a moment, realizing that you’ve never heard of anything like that before. Then again, you hadn’t heard of the name Anakin either, but somehow the unique name fit him.
“Y/N,” You responded, giving him a nod.
“Y/N,” He said, like he was testing the name out on his tongue. You tried to ignore the feeling you got when you heard it come out of his lips, which were very nice by the way when you took a second to glance at them. It sounded good in Anakin’s voice, and you found yourself wanting him to say it over and over again if he would. There was a moment of awkward silence between the both of you, a random amount of tension that you didn’t know if you were imagining or not. Then Anakin opened his mouth again to say, “My kids were looking at the pool in your yard the other day when they were exploring our backyard.”
“Oh, yeah,” You said. “They’re welcome to come over any time and use it if they want.”
“Are you sure?”
It was normal for the people in the neighborhood to use it if they wanted to. It was a big underground pool that had been built when you were a little kid. “Yeah, everyone does. Just make sure to ask someone before and they’ll most likely say yes. We like to get the most out of it every summer.” You realized that you were supposed to be back with your mother, she was most likely getting antsy as to what was taking so long. So you took the opportunity to leave, even though you wouldn’t mind staying and talking to your new neighbor for as long as he wanted to. He wasn’t just attractive, you thought that he was nice too.
“Well, I need to get something from the house and get back to my mom. See you later, Mr. Skywalker.”
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Just Anakin is fine.”
You felt your cheeks heat up. “Right, see you later, Anakin.” He gave you one last smile and right as you turned around, you could’ve sworn you saw a wink. You turned on your heel, ignoring the eyes he clearly had on you and making your way into your house. The moment the door was closed, you leaned against the wood and closed your eyes, replaying that last moment over and over again in your head. Had he really winked at you? Or was that just your mind spinning some kind of fantasy?
Oh, Christ.
It was hard to ignore the butterflies swarming in your stomach.
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baekhvuns · 4 years ago
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synopsis : in which your best friend gives you the biggest gift that’s he’s always kept to himself on the day of christmas. ( collab w/ @hanflix ) ♡
pairing : minho x reader
themes : romcom & fluff.
word count : 3k
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christmas eve.
you shuffled around in your bed, a pout decorating your pink-tinted lips as you brought the blanket closer to your face.
your mouth escaped a sigh one too many times now, and the only thought circulating in your mind was that your best friend in the entire world forgot it was christmas, a holiday you’d always without a stop celebrate together.
your mouth flees another sigh, it wasn’t a big deal that he forgot christmas considering he’s on tour in a completely different country while you returned from your work with the sweet wishes from your coworkers.
your best friend, lee minho, no, not the actor, is from the worldwide famous band, stray kids. it was only normal for him to be travelling way too many times during the years due to his schedule, but he always made time for you even on the busiest of days.
you’ve been friends for more than fifteen years, starting from middle school all the time now. the two of you shared everything, from your very firsts to seeing each other be successful.
you were truly happy at the fact that you two were still best of friends despite him being a literal singer who barely has time to take a seat.
and you love him for that, his personality, the whole tsundere facade, sarcasm and constant chaotic behaviour that made you laugh even on your worst days. on top of that his looks, especially his sharp eyes that you loved to gaze into and the way he always looks like a model when he’s doing the most basic chores.
so being lonely in your apartment, well both of your apartment as he’s over most of the times, was normal. but today felt colder than usual, the apartment quiet with the occasional sounds coming from the heater you placed in front of you.
just the mere thought of him sent your heart fluttering especially when you’ve got an unrequited love for him, being friends for fifteen years and one of us not having feelings for each other sounded absurd.
that’s impossible, that’s what you thought at first but then you started seeing minho in a different light. the way you’d look at him changed and the way your thoughts were constantly crowded by him finally made you realize that yes, you are indeed in love with minho.
your eyes gazing the sky outside, courtesy of the apartment window being able to showcase the city up top. the snow had already started to fall, it was a white christmas, you could see the christmas lights hanging and glowing, tall skyscrapers advertising their christmas spirit by showcasing a lights show of red and green with the occasional appearance of santa.
you could very barely hear the christmas bells from the street market below, but the piano music in the background that you specifically chose was louder.
you rolled over to face the window and buried yourself in one of minho’s black hoodies and the blanket, your eyes tired from the work and feeling droopy as if they’ll shut down any minute.
your thoughts wandering to minho who must be on stage performing his heart out, getting the adrenaline from his fans who he cherished the most. you smiled nonetheless, his face flashing in your mind.
minho on the other had just landed home, he wasn’t exactly supposed to be taking the uber back to your place considering one of the concerts was in both your hometown and he’s supposed to be with the members practicing for it.
he bids goodbye to his friends who cheered and whistled loudly at him yelling “good luck! call us if it works out your way!”
throwing them a playful glare he makes his way to the uber, pulling up his mask and adjusting the jacket around him as the cold december night wind lingered through.
he excitedly tells the address to the man driving not before stopping by a local bakery to grab your favourite cake and snacks, he makes sure to get both of his and your favourite colours along with a cartoon candle that reminded him of you.
he smiles at the bag in his hand before sitting back down in the uber before being driven to your apartment complex.
he sprints up to the building with the plastic bag containing food and cake in one hand while the other held his suitcase, while another bag over his shoulders.
he huffs and puffs out harshly as he tugs the mask down, bowing to the apartment building guard respectfully who only laughed and waved, knowing him and the number of times he’s visited before opening the door to the complex building and immediately being swarmed by the heat.
he glances around and a wide smile graces his face, he loves chirstmas, just because it’s your favourite holiday. he loves seeing you getting all giddy about decorating the tree and when he wraps you in wrapping paper while hearing you scream his name.
he’s sure that you did a great job decorating the entire apartment this year too, although a pity he couldn’t join you this year.
he shakes his head and makes his way to the elevator, pressing the top floor button before entering it. he jumps on his feet back and forth slightly, excited yet scared to see you after a while especially when he’s got something extremely important to say.
when the elevator dings, he practically sprints out of the elevator and makes his way to your shared apartment. but pauses before he could make noise, he takes a swift look at his wrist and checks the time.
11:40 pm.
“she’ll be sleeping, only got twenty minutes left,” he whispers to himself, taking the spare key out and slowly and quietly unlocking the door, not wanting you to know he’s here.
he takes his shoes off and pads his socked feet quietly on the wooden floor until stepping on the comfy carpet. he slowly unravels the window blinding and glances at the city being covered in snow, a smile on his face he looks at the clock again and panic comes over him.
he slowly but quickly takes the cake box out and places it neatly on the table, he grabs plates and puts the dishes beside the cake and then finally places the candles on the surface in a matter of seconds before lighting the candles up.
he has the radio set up for the perfect soft christmas music that echoes in the background, smiling to himself he lets out a sigh of relief and stands up, quietly making his way towards your bedroom even though he feels as if he wants to scream and jump on you.
slowly opening the door, he peeks his head in and his eyes settle on your sleeping form. a warm smile tugs on his lips but he pauses before opening the door.
his heartbeat increases and his stomach churns at what he’s about to do, he’s afraid that you’ll be upset and it’ll ruin everything between you two but he opens the door wider and makes his way towards you.
his lips curve up into a smile when he notices that you’re wearing his hoodie, your cheeks squished together with a blush to them as you slept away.
he contemplates for a second to either jump on you and surprise you awake or to scream and wake you up and then surprise you. laughing he chooses to peacefully wake you up, he takes a seat next to you and pats your warmer cheeks with his colder hands.
“(y/n), wake up,” he mumbles softly and you stir in your sleep, he smiles and caresses your cheek softly.
“(y/n) wake up or i’ll leave, ” he says again but this time closer to your face, you groan and reluctantly flutter open your eyes to look at whatever called out to you.
once your irises focus on the setting they immediately widened, a bright smile on your face as you jump in utter surprise. “minho,” you say groggily.
“what the heck are you doing here!” you let out and he pulls you in a warm hug, whining in your hold as you let out a chuckle.
he taps your head softly, “it’s christmas you idiot and you’re here sleeping,” he says, rocking you back and forth in the hug and you smile against him.
“well, if my best friend isn’t beside me,” you pause and push him away, “how will i celebrate it?” and examine his stunning face.
his eyes turn into crescents and he shows off his infamous smile that has butterflies aviating in your stomach.
before he’s about to pull you over his shoulder you stop him, “but min, aren’t you supposed to be with the guys? what about your tour?”
he chuckles and pulls you up, “you forgot the last concert is here, so i came straight to you so we both can celebrate christmas together,” he says, grabbing your hands and pulling you off the bed.
you groan and he chuckles, “now, c’mon it’s almost christmas.”
you follow him into your living room only to stop beside him, he grins widely when he looks at your shocked face and you find yourself tearing up and he panics immediately.
“w-what’s wrong?” he says, cupping your face looking at you in worry, but you only let out a chuckle and punch his shoulder.
“god, you’re going to make me emo today,” you say and walk past him to admire the living room. eyeing the small cake lit on the centre table with your favourite food around it, your stomach grumbles and you take a seat on the floor.
minho who’s been on pause for the past few seconds jolts out and walks over to take a seat beside you.
your eyes gaze over the table and then back to minho who’s weirdly fidgety, you look at him in confusion. “what’s got you so fidgety?” you ask and he shoots his head at you, wide eyes staring into yours.
he clears his throat harshly before dramatically placing his elbow on the table, cradling his face on his palm.
“nothing,” he gulps at your stare, you look at him a second longer before reaching behind him.
he swears he’s about to have a heart attack, it’s not like you’ve never come closer to him. you’ve hugged on multiple occasions and even sat beside each other with no feelings but for the past few years, all of that has changed.
his breath hitched in his throats and he swears to god that he hear his heart thumping in his ears, he then thanks the almighty when you pull away but only curses internally at your killer smile.
you extend your hand to minho, the one holding your present for him, wrapped neatly in a red box with a golden ribbon right in the centrepiece.
he crosses his eyebrows in confusion, “what is this?” he asks before taking it from your hands, you glance behind him to look at the time.
11:54 pm.
“it’s my christmas present to you,” you reply, pointing behind, “it’s almost time anyway’s so i thought i should give it right now.”
you smile when he takes it from your hands while eyeing you, he chucks open the gift and immediately gasps.
“you did not,” he exclaims, pulling out the very thing he wanted from the beginning of the year.
you grinned, “i did,” watching his eyes sparkle brightly that fastened your heartbeat.
he smiles and places the box beside him before clearing his throat and dramatically bringing out a green bag from behind him, he shoves it to your chest and looks away, a blush coating his cheeks.
you coo in excitement and dismantle the bag, going past the number of fluffy papers to finally grasp the rectangular object. your eyes widen at what you’re holding and scream, minho flinching in the process.
“minho you’re insane!” you say, absolutely blown away by the present he’s given you.
“y-you don’t like it?” he stutters out, afraid that you might not like it even after all the consultations from his group members who said, “simple is sexy.” and so he listened.
“are you kidding me? you got me one of your albums and you think i won’t like it?” you joke, patting his shoulder repeatedly at the excitement as you hurriedly discarded the plastic layering.
he watches your face contort into various expressions and feels his heart sped up as you flip through the pages.
you squeal at every photo and point at how ridiculous minho looked, even though he didn’t.
“oh, hyunjin is so hot,” you say and he immediately snaps his head at you.
“what did you say?” he asks, and you stick your tongue out at him playfully.
as you flip the pages and admire every single one of them, you find yourself staring at the ones with minho longer than the rest. when realizing you’ve been staring at it for seconds you quickly flip the pages, getting excited about the photo card you’ll pull.
minho’s internally screaming, knowing you’re one page away from the photo card, he feels himself starting to sweat, heart wrenching and he looks everywhere but you.
it’s not just a plain old photo card, instead, it’s a special one, the one he specifically designed for you after begging one of the staff members to create on extra print of it, and placed it at the side to give it to you at the perfect time.
you flip the next page and squeal at the photo, “hey! look it’s you, what a coincidence!” you say, picking it up to give it a look.
“what a coincidence,” he mumbles under his breath.
you flip the card and took the time to read whatever auto-generated thing he wrote but to your surprise, it’s something completely different from the past ones.
this one however has your heartbeat increasing, you lift your head to look at minho who’s been eyeing you in curiously.
you open your mouth but nothing comes out, instead, you hear your heartbeat thumping loudly. “a-are you serious?” you ask and he swallows, nodding hesitatingly.
“read it out loud,” he says and you shift to look at the card.
“(y/n), for the past few years, i’ve come to completely fall in love with you.” you pause to suck in a breath. “so this christmas, i wanted to ask you if you’d date me?”
you lift your eyes to look at him who’s scared out of his wits, water starts to brim along your waterline when he starts to speak.
“for the past few years, the way i looked at you changed, you’ve never invaded my mind so much till now,” he stops himself as his head slowly bows down.
“i’ve grown to love you differently,” he says and you place a hand on your mouth. “(y/n), you’re probably the first person i liked outside my members,” he chuckles dryly.
“so i wanted you to th-“
you stop him by lifting his head and pressing your lips to his, he lets out a surprised yelp and you cup his cheeks. he closes his eyes and kisses you back softly, smiling against your lips.
when you pull back, “i love you too, you dummy,” you say with a smile, breathing heavily while glancing in his eyes.
“not just as a friend, but more than that.” you smile before closing the distance between you two again, losing yourself in a sweet yet chaste kiss once again.
this time he pulls back with the brightest smile you’ve seen in a while, “i need to tell the guys, they must be waiting for my call.”
you gasp, “you all knew? and only told me now?”
he doesn’t respond but grins widely, fishing out his phone from his pockets to speed dial the rest who were waiting in their living room, settled on the couch waiting impatiently for the one special call.
once the call goes through they quickly answer it and put it on a video call, minho grabs your waist and pulls you down to sit in between his legs.
you smile shyly, the blush hitting your skim different today. your eyes meet the impatient eyes of the seven boys huddling over each other and you hear minho chuckle lowly in your ear.
“they’ve been waiting,” he whispers and you shoot your eyebrows up.
“how long?” you ask, and he finds himself smiling, “ever since debut.”
even before you could reply, the guys on the other side immediately start screaming at the sight of you two, shaking the camera violently while you and minho laugh at their absurdness.
chan, who seems the only normal one at the moment takes the phone with a big smile. “so? what’s the news?” he asks, his dimples showing and eyebrows wiggling.
you feel the blood shoot up to your cheeks when minho places his chin on your shoulder, “it’s a success.” he says and the other line goes insane once again.
one of them singing ‘my house’ teasingly, the other’s yelling and screaming in excitement and you watch them with wide eyes as if they’ve never witnessed a couple.
you turn your face to minho’s, “are they ok-“ before you could even complete your sentence he takes the chance to press his lips on yours and you find yourself melting under his touch, smiling against his lips.
“oh, eww!” you hear the other’s groan in disgust, making you and minho chuckle at their reactions as he pulls you closer to him.
you glance at the snow falling outside and a smile laces on your lips, burying yourself more into your now boyfriends hold you think about the past christmases with him, but this one takes the cake for being the best with the best present, the photo card.
oh, and of course, your best friend turned boyfriend.
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ushidoux · 4 years ago
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Birthday Boy - Kuroo x Reader
Summary: Office man Kuroo wants the usual for his birthday. (~1.4k words)
Warnings: nsfw, fem!reader, public sex, office relationships
A/N: Kuroo annoys me but I can see the appeal. Happy birthday Kuroo!
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You typed the last sentence of your business proposal for Friday, taking an extra bit of satisfaction in typing the last period before hitting the save button, then took a deep breath before leaning back in your chair. With one additional thing checked off your list for today, you made a quick check at the clock next to you to check how much longer you had until you could leave this place and move on with your life.
20 minutes left. You could do this.
“Didn’t you forget something today?”
Almost a bit startled, you looked up to see the company’s vice president, Tetsuro Kuroo, grinning down at you slyly, chin perched over the edge of the cubicle. You hated that he was tall enough to do that despite the fact that the cubicle walls were higher than typical - it felt like he had special access to you somehow.
You smiled politely, even though you and he both knew you couldn’t exactly stand him - in fact, you had made it pretty clear a couple months ago that you thought he was somewhat of a prick in the corner of an office party, and miraculously had kept your job (sleepless nights were finally behind you and you would never get so drunk at a company event again).
“Whatever do you mean, Mr. Tetsuro?” You said with mock extreme professionalism, as you printed out your proposal and rose to get to the noisy printer located outside of your small office space.
He leaned against the wall, smiling at you as you passed him.
“It’s my birthday, of course,” he said, now following you leisurely into the copy room, and you could feel the hairs on your neck stand on end as he stepped just outside of sexual harassment distance. “Where’s my present?”
You pulled your stack of papers out of the printer, shrugging off the irritation building inside you and went to focus on stapling copies of your day’s work together.
“Happy birthday,” you offered passively.
He stood beside you, grabbing another stapler to help you with your task uninvited.
“Why thank you, Ms. ___. I was waiting to hear good wishes from you. It was all I waited for all day, in fact,” he said, with a furtive glance at you that you pretended not to see.
“Don’t worry, I don’t need help,” you insisted. Before you could reach over, he nudged you playfully with his hip, blocking you out of his way. 
“You never need anything, Mrs. Independent,” Kuroo teased with a laugh, “but don’t worry, I got you.”
Before you could protest and snatch the sheets of his hand, he raised the sheets of paper higher than you could reach, forcing you to have to jump once or twice, stopping only once you were in a flustered mess, embarrassed by the fact that you were actually jumping in a pair of heels and a skirt in public.
“You are so fucking annoying! Do you know that?” You huffed finally in frustration, now standing completely still despite seething with annoyance. “Just go home, don’t you have someone new on your “hit and quit” list anyway?!”
Before the words left your mouth, you regretted them ever coming out and you whispered a short “Shit” under your breath as Kuroo’s eyes grew wide and devilish. You’d triggered him in just the right and wrong way. You glanced quickly at the door to ensure no one was outside to see what had just happened and what was about to happen, then considered making a quick run for it because yes, you had just given this sexy asshole ammunition and yes, he was absolutely going to lose it.
As expected, Kuroo blocked your way out of the room with quick side steps to the left and to the right, making your heart start to pound in your chest, and finally after a quick look outside as well to clear the surroundings, he held you close in his arms.
“Oh, it looks like someone’s been a bit jealous…,” he crooned, rocking you back and forth softly first before as he released you and backed into the open door, quickly and smoothly locking the door behind him. “So jealous, you won’t even wish me a happy birthday, my little bunny?”
Fuck.
“Kuroo, don’t,” you whispered under your breath, but he was already walking towards you, eagerly loosening his tie, and by all that was good, you were going to let him do whatever he wanted even if it was against your better judgement.
He started by backing you into the wall by the copy-printer, planting a soft kiss on your lips, then pecking down your jawline to your bosom, his hands steadying themselves on your hips hugged by the classic but quite form-fitting pencil skirt you had decided on wearing that morning.
“Don’t what?” He breathed into the crook of your neck, as slender fingers started to unbutton your blouse, giving him access to the soft pillows of your breasts and pert nipples.
“W-we’re in public… not... not here.”  You were already starting to forget your protests as his lips closed around a mound sending heat rushing to your center.
“It seems like you need reassurance,” he reasoned. “Let’s think of it as a sort of quality assurance project, what do you think?”
With that, more fingers made their way down the hem of your skirt, pulling then dragging them down so that he could press a digit right through to your pussy now damp and soaking your undies. 
“I don’t know why you keep wearing these tight ass skirts in the office, how the fuck are we supposed to get a quick fix during work breaks?”
“Shut up, Kuroo,” you retorted, pushing him off of you as you struggled to shimmy the skirt off quickly yourself.
“I mean, you’re really bad at playing this pretend game. Like my dad owns this company, why do you think it would be a problem if everyone else found out we were fucking?” Kuroo added, as he unbuckled his pants and rolled down his dress pants for you. You took a look at his large member as it popped out from the waistband of his pants, but when you saw his smirk at your hungry expression, you rolled your eyes before bending over the printer for him. 
“You talk so fucking much, Kuroo.”
“Wow! Cursing at me? On my birthday?” He protested with mock offense, but instead retaliated with getting a hard grip on your hair with one hand to pull you back towards him.
“Kuroo!”
“You’re lucky I’m not asking for a full hour of head, bunny!” He quipped, before breaching your entrance in one fluid movement. “Oh my goodness, it really is my lucky day, you really are just dripping for me.”
At this point, you should have been wondering what exactly had gotten you involved with this obnoxious man, but when he started a quick pace, thrusting you forward back and forth while you steadied yourself on the poor abused office printer, your tsundere act started to crumble. 
As he expected.
The room filled with the sloppy noises of cock entering cunt, over and over and over again, soft whines, suppressed grunts and moans, and the whir of buttons inadvertently being pressed. Despite Kuroo’s abrasive behavior towards you in the office, he could manage to be tender when he railed you, offering a soft hand to cover your mouth as you struggled to keep quiet and loosening his grip on your hair in favor of running his hand through it tenderly. 
As your walls continued to clench and tighten around him, milking him of all he was worth, his moans started to get more uneven, and he breathed deeply before laughing softly, leaning in you.
“You’re awfully quiet, babe,” he teased, his voice more tender this time.
So are you, you wanted to say, but then your coil snapped, and sensing this, his hand clamped tighter over your mouth as he pounded you even harder and you wanted to scream.
Kuroo, Kuroo, Kuroo…
Your orgasm was freefall, and soon he fell with you holding you all the while, his hand still clamped over your mouth and his other hand now pressing against you to hold your convulsing body still, you always came so violently when you were with him, so much a firecracker you were.
When the high finally faded, you both redressed in satisfied silence, staring at each other with renewed longing, only to be startled by hard raps on the door. 
Your eyes widened as you stared at each other then at the door.
Had you finally been too loud?
“There’s cake for whoever’s in there for VP’s birthday,” you could hear one of your coworkers finally say with exasperation. “I don’t know why you always use that room for so long, you can work in your cubicle, ___.”
Kuroo stifled a laugh as haughty footsteps headed away from the door, before kissing you on the forehead.
“Do you wanna get some of VP’s birthday cake or have you already had enough of VP?”
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delos-mio · 4 years ago
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Out Of The Woods - college!AU - PART 3
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A/N: I’m partial to this chapter, but perhaps that’s just me. I’ve not gotten a lot of feedback on this series sooooo idk if I’m just sharing it for me at this point lol but I’m having fun and that’s what matters, right?! Anyways I’m always around for thoughts, feelings, questions!
Only an essay, a few chapters of reading, and a couple shifts at work separated you from your hang out with Nikolai. You found yourself wondering what he was up to, what made him smile that day, what he’d look like on top of you now. That last one tended to linger a minute before you violently shook it from your head. You hardly knew each other anymore, not to mention you had a boyfriend- you couldn’t let yourself start to fantasize about him like that. But he was so sweet and gentle, so sassy and smart. It didn’t hurt that he was still painfully handsome either.
You were sitting at work, more or less twiddling your thumbs, when you felt a buzzing against the white countertop of the receptionist desk you sat behind. When you looked at the screen, an unknown number appeared. You unlocked your phone and opened your texts. Seeing the first line preview made your heart leap into your throat immediately.
N: Hey it’s Nik. Just thought you should have my number too :)
Y: Hey there you glad you didn’t lose that paper
N: I could never! What are you up to?
Y: Just at work, pretty slow today so I’m kinda bored
N: Hopefully I can keep you a little company. Where do you work?
Y: John Richard Salon- it’s that one downtown across from that hot dog place
N: Oh yeah! Seen it a million times. Do you do hair? Is that a secret talent of yours?
Y: God no lol I’d be horrible at it. I don’t have the dexterity for it. I’m just their receptionist
N: “Just” please I’m sure you’re their best employee
You stopped to roll your eyes, but also couldn’t stop the heat from rising on your cheeks.
N: Do you like it?
Y: It’s pretty good for a low responsibility job- it pays the bills too so I’m not complaining
N: That always helps
Your name had been called from off to your side, making your head snap up and you locked eyes with Deja, who was easily your favorite coworker. “And just what has you smiling like an idiot? Hm?” she asked with a smirk and leaned across the counter from you.
“Remember that guy I was telling you about from the party?”
“Oh yeah, the one you fucked in high school?” she teased.
You let out a long sigh. “Well, he just texted me. We’re supposed to hang out on Friday,” you said confidently, raising your chin in her direction to show her there was nothing of consequence going on between you and Nikolai.
“Hang out. Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Deja looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you could only respond with a look of your own.
“Oh my god, shut up,” you laughed. “Seriously. We haven’t hung out in years and it’s nice to have someone to hang out with who knows me. And wants to hang out with me,” you added under your breath.
“Don’t tell me Matt is back on his bullshit…”
You simply raised your thumb and index finger just slightly apart, squinting at the space between them.
As you were catching her up on the last week, John walked over and flipped over the open sign, locking the glass door in front of him. You took that as your sign to help clean up so you could get out of there as soon as possible. The girls all pitched in, sweeping up the few stray clumps of hair on the old wooden floor and wiped down all the counters for the morning.
While you were on the bus for the short ride back to your apartment, you suddenly remembered the conversation you were having with Nikolai before you closed up shop. You cursed under your breath and pulled out your phone again, quickly thumbing a message back.
Y: Sorry! I got caught up closing
N: No sorry needed, you were at work after all
Y: lol I suppose that’s true. They don’t pay me to sit around and look pretty
N: They should
Y: Oh god lol stop
N: Have I told you that I’m really looking forward to Friday?
Y: No but I’m looking forward to it too
You had since made it home and crawled into bed, happy to finally be off your feet and talking to the boy who disarmed you with a single smile. For the next few hours, the two of you texted back and forth, mostly about classes and work, but you couldn’t stop yourself from occasionally flirting with Nikolai. You really needed to work on actively not doing that, but you allowed yourself one last evening of toying with him. When the clock rolled over to 1am, the lids of your eyes were beginning to grow heavy and a long yawn escaped from your lips.
Y: I think I’m going to fall asleep on you I’m sorry
N: Holy shit I didn’t realize it was so late
N: I should get to bed too. I have a presentation in the morning
Y: Don’t let me keep you up!
N: But darling that’s all I want ;)
N: Sweet dreams- I’ll see you Friday
Y: Goodnight Nik
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Friday finally came and you were nervous as you fixed your hair one last time in the wide bathroom mirror. You opted for tight jeans, a pretty low cut tank, and a zip up hoodie. There was no way you were going to just hang out at his house looking like you were ready for the club, but you still wanted to remind Nikolai that you were cute. Genya had already left for the night, so you weren’t able to have a second set of eyes give your outfit the final approval; you could really use the reassurance right about now. As you casually boosted your chest one more time, there was a light knock at the front door. You opened it to Nikolai in a skin-tight tee for your school and a light canvas jacket. His hair was perfectly disheveled and his jeans clung tight to his thick thighs. You caught him giving you a long onceover before giving you a wide smile.
“You look amazing,” he breathed out, pulling you in for a tight embrace. You let your hands wander over his broad back, exploring the pull of his muscles under his jacket.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” you smirked as you pulled apart. You locked up behind you and let Nikolai walk you downstairs and out to his car.
“Pizza?” he asked, one hand low on your back, the other gesturing vaguely you assumed in the direction of the car.
“I thought you’d never ask,” you smiled from ear to ear. Immediately, you could see the tension leave Nikolai’s shoulders. As you stepped foot into the parking lot, the sky decided it was the perfect time to open up and unleashed a sheet of rain unlike any you’d had so far this fall. You yelped as it began to pour, throwing your hood over your head. Nikolai acted quickly and threw off his jacket, holding it high above your head to keep you dry as you both splashed quickly to his car. This gesture made your heart swell; you were starting to think Nikolai may be a real lift knight in shining armor. He opened your door and made sure you were out of the rain before joining you and whipping his soaked coat in the backseat. You were both laughing at the situation and he was visibly relieved that you took the whole hiccup in stride. “Let’s get fucking dry ,” you laughed and he needed no further request to set off in the direction of his apartment.
Nikolai actually didn’t live too far from you, you realized when he pulled up across the street from the brown duplex. It was still raining when you parked and you again sprinted to the front porch in a desperate attempt to stay a little dry. When you got close to the door, you realized that it was a lot louder inside than you thought it would be. Nikolai must have noticed too because his jaw immediately set, irritation flashing behind his hazel eyes.
“Fucking Aleks,” he muttered under his breath before pushing the door open. A large party was taking place, unbeknownst to Nikolai. There were people passing in front of them, a lively game of beer pong in process, and more than one person going through their cupboards. Nikolai gestured for you to head inside and he slammed the door shut behind him. “Do you mind waiting here for just one second? I have to talk to Aleks quick,” he asked quietly into your ear, his hand resting on the side of your face. You nodded and he gave you a small smile before setting off for the kitchen. Aleks was laughing against the fridge with a couple other guys, barely registering it when Nikolai was standing in front of him, arms crossed tight over his chest.
“Dude! I thought you said you were going to the baseball house!” Nikolai scolded.
“Nikolai! I’m so glad you’re here, man. No, we decided to have people over here instead. We’re always at the baseball house,” Aleks smiled, giving Nikolai a friendly punch to his shoulder; Nikolai didn’t budge an inch.
“I kinda had plans here tonight, remember?” he said through gritted teeth, giving a small nod back towards where you stood. Aleks’s face dropped as it all came back to him.
“I am so sorry man, I totally forgot.”
“Obviously,” Nikolai scoffed.
“I mean it. It slipped my mind. I’m really sorry dude.” It was hard for Nikolai to stay mad at Aleks for long, if at all. You saw Aleks give Nikolai a long hug, evidently sorting out whatever disagreement they just had. Nikolai made his way back to you, a little less high strung.
“C’mon,” he said and took your hand, leading you around the corner to a short hallway. He led you into a room and quietly shut the door behind you. The first thing that struck you was all of the maps and works in progress strewn across his desk and hanging on the walls. You walked around in awe and marveled at Nikolai’s decor. He had numerous prints of classic paintings and frescoes, almost all of them related to myths or historical events.
“Nikolai, this is amazing! It’s so,” your head was spinning as you looked at all of his art, “it’s incredible.” You turned back to him and he was right behind you, an amused smile pulling at his lips.
“I’m so sorry. I thought we’d be able to come and spend some time together without 80 other people.” He looked genuinely upset that he couldn’t follow through with his plan of having dinner and talking all night on the couch.
“Hey, it’s ok. We can still hang out. Why don’t we make an appearance, play a game of beer pong or whatever, and then we can watch a movie in here or something?” you offered. Nikolai’s face lifted a little at that and he lightly squeezed your hand, nodding his head in agreement. “I gotta get out of this hoodie, though. It’s fucking soaking,” you laughed.
You shed the wet garment and hung it carefully on the back of one of the chairs near you. Nikolai had changed out of his wet shirt as well; he must have moved in the blink of an eye because you didn’t even notice him switch clothes. When you looked at him again, his gaze was fixed on you, his expression hard to read. “What is it?” you finally asked with a nervous laugh as punctuation.
“You’re so pretty,” he said with a small smile. You looked down at yourself- your hair was a complete rat's nest, shirt and jeans soaked through, and though you hadn’t looked in a mirror you could feel your makeup was a mess too. And here he was, arguably the most handsome man you’d ever met, lost for words as you stood in front of him. You bit down on your bottom lip and shook your head before taking him by the hand and leading him back into the party.
Nikolai grabbed each of you a drink and you wandered together to the beer pong table where Aleks was taking his last shot with his partner. Aleks grinned when he saw the two of you walk up and declared he was playing you next after he ‘kicked their ass’. He sunk the last shot and whooped loudly, high-fiving with his partner. Nikolai took his place on the opposite end of the table with you and re-racked the cups.
“Sorry I’m about to embarrass you in front of your date, Nik,” Aleks smirked arrogantly. Nikolai only bounced the light ball against the table top, catching it swiftly on the back of his long fingers. He repeated the trick, unbothered by Aleks and his shit talking, also not correcting him that you were not in fact on a date.
“We’ll just see about that,” he laughed as his first shot sank directly into the front cup. You giggled with him and took a shot of your own, somehow making another shot. You’d played a few times before, but you didn’t consider yourself skilled by any means- certainly not as skilled as these boys. Nikolai was so proud of you, he threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his side. “Good luck, man.”
Aleks was frustrated as his winning streak began to slip through his fingers. Nikolai was clearly the better player, which was making Aleks crazy, though he had also had about five more drinks than Nikolai. You only made one more shot after your beginner’s luck, but Nikolai didn’t mind at all. He happily carried your team and took care of the remaining cups, always encouraging you when you made a lousy toss. Before long, Nikolai was flicking his wrists high over his head like he was making a free throw and sinking the winning shot. The small crowd around the table cheered and Aleks grumpily crossed his arms. Nikolai gathered you in his arms and lifted you easily off the ground, spinning you with him as you celebrated your very first beer pong victory, all thanks to Nikolai.
“Better luck next time!” you taunted sarcastically and Aleks finally gave you a small smile. The next team in line took your spot and you slid back into the crowd undetected and back to Nikolai’s room. “I didn’t know you were good at every sport,” you teased before taking a seat on the edge of his bed.
“Is beer pong really a sport?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. He walked over to stand in front of you and ran his hand over your finally drying hair. “Movie time?”
“Yes,” you replied simply, possibly a little too quickly. Nikolai smiled at you before walking over to his bed. He pulled back the covers and crawled onto his side of the bed, patting the spot next to him, inviting you in. He had chosen some movie to put on evidently, but you truthfully didn’t notice what. You flicked off the lights and jumped in next to him with a smile. Nikolai laid out on his back and you curled up comfortably on his chest.
“I had a really good time tonight, rain storm and surprise party and all,” he said, his voice low in your ear.
“Me too,” you said with a smile, still distracted by the art on his walls. “What inspired your decor choices?”
Nikolai turned his head to look at the picture of the Minotaur over his desk. “As you know, I’m a history major,” he started. “My concentration is in classical studies, specifically the Hellenistic period.” He rolled his neck to face you again. “That’s actually my favorite myth.”
“You know, for being a creative writing major, my Greek mythology is a little rusty,” you prompted, leveling your most charming smile at Nikolai.
“Would you like me to regale you with the tale?” he asked with a dramatic flourish.
“I’m all ears, Mr. Lantsov,” you laughed, positioning yourself so you could rest your chin on your hands laying on his chest and gaze up at him.
“Alright. So, Minos had just become the ruler of the island of Crete, but was still in competition with his brother for power. He prayed to Poseidon to send him a sign of the god’s favor- a bright white bull. Minos was tasked to sacrifice the bull to honor Poseidon, but he was so enamored with the bull that he decided to keep him, believing Poseidon would accept an alternate sacrifice.” Nikolai absently petted your hair.
“But he didn’t?”
“He did not,” Nikolai laughed. “As punishment, Poseidon made Minos’ wife, Pasipahae, fall in love with the bull.”
“Such a Greek god thing to do.” You smiled up at him.
“Isn’t it?” Nikolai beamed back. “Pasiphae had the master craftsman Daedalus create a hollow, wooden cow for her to climb in so she could mate with the bull. And thus, the Minotaur was created. Pasiphae did her best to nurse and raise the Minotaur as a babe, but he grew too fast and became unruly. Minos consulted the oracle at Delphi on what to do, and as a result commissioned Daedalus to construct a gigantic labyrinth to house the Minotaur under the palace in Knossos.”
“Years go by, and one of Minos’ sons is killed by the Athenians, who I guess were jealous of a string of recent victories by the king. From here, there are a few versions on why Athens begins sending youths as tribute, but the most common is that Minos waged and won a war to avenge the death of his son. As the losers, Minos required the Athenians to send seven youths and seven maidens to be sent every seventh year to cast into the labyrinth to be consumed by the Minotaur.”
“The third sacrifice came around and the hero Theseus,” Nikolai started, contempt clear in his voice, “volunteered to go as a sacrifice to Crete to slay the Minotaur. He told his father, Aegeus, that he would put up a white sail when he came back home if he was successful, but would have the crew put up black sails if he was killed by the Minotaur. Once he was in Crete, Minos' daughter Ariadne fell head over heels for Theseus and helped him navigate the labyrinth. In most versions of the story, she gave him a ball of string so he could retrace his steps and a sword to slay the beast. Story goes that he killed the Minotaur and led the Athenians out of the labyrinth, sailing away with them and Ariadne away from Crete.”
“I’m gathering that you’re not a Theseus fan,” you said, eyes still trained on Nikolai’s face. “Why?”
“A number of reasons.” Nikolai paused, clearly deciding on how much he wanted to nerd out. “One being that on the way back to Athens, Theseus abandoned Ariadne on the island of Naxos. He forgot, however, to put up the white sail like he told his father he would. Aegeus saw the black-sailed ship approach and threw himself into the sea, presuming Theseus was dead. But doing so just secured the throne for Theseus. The other being that he murdered the Minotaur.”
“But didn’t the Minotaur kill a bunch of kids?”
“Or was he fed children after being abandoned by his mother, unaware of any other way to live? I don’t subscribe to the idea that the Minotaur is a monster. There’s also quite a bit of evidence that suggests Ariadne saw him as a brother, having to make the impossible choice of her ‘abomination’ of a brother and a man who had convinced her he was in love with her.” Nikolai spoke with such passion and knowledge that it made your stomach tighten. This was a Nikolai not many got to see, a Nikolai you wanted to hold and kiss and laugh with. Fuck, you were in so far over your head.
He’d never been more attractive to you than in that moment. The light from the TV dancing on his perfect cheekbones, his hazel eyes dark as he spoke. “I don’t know. I have a soft spot for him. I feel like the Minotaur got a raw deal.”
“Well, you’ve made me a believer,” you smiled and the way Nickolai beamed back at you made the heat rise in your chest.
“You should stay here tonight.”
“Nik,” you sighed, rolling off him. “You know I can’t do that.” He had no idea how badly you wanted to just scream out ‘yes’.
“I know, I know,” he conceded, staring straight up at the ceiling. “Really wish you could, though.”
“Someday.”
“Is that a promise?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.
“I’m not the oracle at Delphi,” you said over your shoulder, making him snort. “I can’t tell the future.”
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