#I used to give my (prescribed) adderall to druggies for free in high school because it made them like me more 😬
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wilson is like one of those bitches who puts nicotine patches on their partner in their sleep so that they’ll subconsciously crave their presence and associate their time together with the gratification of it. except instead of doing it sneakily, he openly (even reluctantly) exists as the main source of house’s vicodin prescriptions, not only providing him with the high but maintaining this pavlovian dynamic where he actively contributes to house’s pain relief & survival. he’s essentially his lifeline. and for the most part, he doesn’t even do it on purpose!!! because aside from the literal drug connection, that’s what his friendship is to house, too. what bonnie said about how wilson just tries to be a Good and Normal friend but ‘once you’re the subject of all that attention, it’s addictive’. in season 8, he says “I cannot be responsible for the happiness of gregory house.” and then has the audacity to look shocked when foreman replies, “You are responsible, though.” it’s like he’s painfully aware of their fucked up codependency but simply turns his face away from it. he’s even in denial until the very last moment, until it’s not only his upcoming death on the horizon, but the knowledge that they’re both free. I always found his smile after ‘I’m dead, wilson’ a little chilling. because it feels like he knows what that means — the larger, lethal implications of house disregarding any worry about his own future — and only then is he done fighting it.
#sorry if this is incoherent#house md#hilson#house/wilson#james wilson#greg house#gregory house#I can see house doing the nicotine thing fr but I can’t see wilson doing it covertly#simply because he can never keep it quiet when he pulls off a covert little manipulation#he’s too proud of himself#most of the insane boundary-violating things that house has done he’s only done to satiate his own curiosity#but wilson does them specifically for house’s validation#like the antidepressant thing or the healthy eating#he knows house loves it when he’s a manipulative bitch#so he’d never keep it a secret#whereas house has probably violated every law of privacy towards him w/o ever mentioning it#I need to study them under a microscope etc etc#also can you tell that my personal experience is bleeding into this a little bit#I used to give my (prescribed) adderall to druggies for free in high school because it made them like me more 😬#and I gaslit myself into thinking I was doing them a solid / doing a positive thing#as if I wasn’t just depriving myself of medication that I needed as well as feeding the addiction of unhealthily high-reliant kids#processing my own issues via james wilson meta >>#I’m also now realising that this teeters into the horrors of mortality a little bit more than just doomed old man yaoi#i’m sorry i’ve spent a year in the hannibal fandom I forgor we’re not meant to casually drop references to percieved suicide pacts#between our blorblos
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