#I understand sports grudges now

[nucksaid]

I don’t like who I’ve become since round 2

[vlrspace]

in which bakugou waits years till you finally come around

cw: reader is a bit of a grudge holder and has trouble to see bakugou in a different light, mention of injuries, there is a (1) very heated moment towards the end - MDNI!!! -, bakugou is soft towards reader the whole time, a bit angsty but there is comfort

wc: 9.5K

an: this is quite clumsy and there might be errors. i hope you all are doing well!! <333

bakugou knew you ever since the two of you were babies.

he was nearly a year older than you and he always made sure you knew that and it worked, while the two of you were younger. you always looked at him with stars in your eyes, drinking in every word he said, followed him around and let him take your hand. he didn’t understand back then why you started to distance yourself from him, he had a strong quirk and he could already read, so why were you more interested in that quirkless nobody?

his superiority complex and the need to be better than everyone didn’t help the situation either. he started to bully midoriya and when you kept sticking up for the damn nerd, he truly felt like he lost. the breaking point between the two of you was when he told midoriya to jump off a building so he might get a quirk in his next life. he never seen you so angry before that. you didn’t talk to him afterwards, not even after he got attacked by a villain, you only praised midoriya for helping him. not even when all the three of you got accepted into ua until the usj attack.

bakugou managed to save you from a villain that was trying to stab his knife through your chest, thankfully just in time he blasted the bastard away. you guys didn’t have the chance to talk, too busy to save your other classmates and you ran off to see midoriya again after he got injured at the end of the fight. later that night, you did drop by with some mochi from your favourite bakery and quietly thanking him for jumping in and not letting you die. he only mumbled a quiet ‘your welcome’ before you swiftly made your way out of the bakugou’s gates.

——

he always wanted to show you how strong he was, that he can protect you from anything that life throws at any moment, deku didn’t even have a quirk until it randomly appeared (he often wondered if you knew about it, were you hiding it together?) and now he seems to surpass him in everything. could he protect you better from the world than bakugou would ever be able to?

then the sports festival came around, you were all over deku again, congratulating him when he won the first round with a hug and at the back of his mind he wished it was him that you hugged. when he won the festival (he thought he didn’t deserve it with how half n half fainted), he hoped that you’d say something to him too. you didn’t say anything to him and he tried not letting it get to him. however, later that night he received a message from you, congratulating him on his win and he was glad no one saw him because his face felt like he was on fire. that made him so proud of himself, maybe you two will get along again?

——

you still don’t talk to him though, even when you needed help with some subject around midterms, you only asked deku again and that smart girl to help you. if you would’ve looked at him with your bright eyes, you would’ve seen how eager he would’ve been tutoring you and not shitty hair. when midterms pass and you both pass, he feels relieved that you’re coming to the training camp as well without any supplementary classes needed. he didn’t think at the time that the fact he got kidnapped will be the first time you come around and hug him in years.

you came to help them a second too late, only seeing him being warped away and telling deku to not follow him. you rushed to help deku after seeing his arms, trying to ignore the fact that bakugou just got kidnapped. when kirishima decided to take control and you guys should go and save him, you went along. you didn’t hate him, but you didn’t know where you two stand after all the things he did to your best friend in the past ten years. so when you saw him surrounded by villains before iida, midoriya and kirishima flew him out to safety, you felt relieved. yes, you don’t know where the two of you stand but you still care for him. you can also tell he looked surprised when your group reunited to watch all might’s last fight but you offered him a small smile after seeing there were no injuries on his body.

ua closed its gates three days prior to bakugou’s rescue and it remained closed for another week to become a boarding school with dorms. after further discussions between parents and teachers to ensure the safety of students, everything returned to normal.

two days before moving in, the bakugou’s bell was rung, and bakugou mitsuki was the one to answer the door. to say she was surprised to see the (h/c) coloured girl stand shyly in-front of their house was an understatement. mitsuki might be older, her son might think she’s a nagging old hag but she wasn’t stupid. the silent fallout between you and her son is still up in the air but she could never hold a grudge against you, she knows her son could be an outright asshole. mitsuki really believed that if god is real, then there is hope for the two of you to get along again.

“good afternoon sweet girl, long time no see, how have you been?” her warm smile instantly put you under ease and you gave her a timid smile of your own.

“good afternoon mitsuki, i’m doing alright, thank you. is katsuki home?” you quietly ask after you politely answer her question and the older woman can barely hide her smile widening at the fact that you still call her son by his first name. maybe things aren’t that bad anymore.

“yes, he is. the police advised for him to not go outside till school starts again. would you like to come in?” she moves to stand aside, but you shake your head at her invitation.

“no, no i just wanted to talk to him, if that’s okay” you look down to avoid her eyes that is the exact resemblance of her sons, well katsuki is the exact replica of mitsuki. she won’t push you to come in, so she yells loudly like usual for her son to come downstairs because someone is here to see him. when she turns towards you again is when she sees the plastic bag that you’re holding, seemingly full of things that looked like katsuki’s favourites. that made her feel warmth spread through her chest, you still remember what he likes.

“what is it old hag? can’t you just tell ‘em to-“ katsuki stops in the middle of his yelling when he reaches the front door, only to see you standing there. “hey” he stops next to his mum, his voice recognisably softer, which his mum would tease about but she decides against it, it’s not time for that yet.

“hey” you mumble, curling into your hoodie from the two pair of eyes (why do they look the exact same, it’s scary) staring at you. before bakugou could yell at his mum again to back off, mitsuki slips away after telling the two of you that she’ll see what masaru is up to. the both of you are grateful for that. after a few minutes of quietly standing you find the courage to talk to the ash blonde boy in front of you “i bought you a few things, i hope you’re doing okay with all the things that happened” you don’t look up to him instead you watch your fingers fiddle with your hoodie.

bakugou on the hand is focused on your head, waiting for you eyes to meet his, before gathering his thoughts. he’s slightly taken aback that you came to see him, even if it’s only because he got kidnapped but it means a lot to bakugou that you came to check up on him. “i’m good, heroes need to be tough and get though anythin’ that’s thrown at ‘em” he shrugged, wanting to come off cool and ignore how fast his heart was beating.

without saying another word, you gently wrap your arms around his middle and bury your face into his sturdy chest, fearing he might slip away again. bakugou’s eyes widen at the contact, suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands before clumsily circle them around your shoulders and pull you closer to him. he rest his chin on the crown of your head, noting to himself that you smell like strawberries and peaches and hopes you can’t feel his heart rate quicken (you did, your heart was beating fast too). after a while you pulled away, giving him a small smile before extending your hand with the plastic bag towards him. “i got you a few things, i hope they will cheer you up from all the trouble that you’ve experienced”

he takes it from you, feeling the blush on his cheeks spread. “thanks” he whispers and he hoped you know that he’s grateful for your hug too. before he could ask if you want to come in you slowly start to back off towards the road.

“i’ll see you in school katsuki, be good” your smile never faltered and you gave him a small wave. bakugou felt like maybe things were starting to change between the two of you for good as he muttered a “you too” after you and walked inside after you disappeared from his sight.

mitsuki, who’s been watching the two of you the whole time from one of the windows smiled to herself, maybe there was hope after all.

——

from them on, your interaction with bakugou increased by a bit, now you greet him around campus whenever you see him, but no more than that. bakugou longed to make conversations with you about literally anything, yet he didn’t force himself on you, happy either way.

after a week or too, you didn’t miss the way bakugou treated izuku before walking away, you know he said something to make the green haired boy stand there with slightly wide eyes. when the ash blonde was out of earshot, you walked up to izuku to make sure he’s alright. when you reached him, he motioned for you two to go outside and when you two walked through the doors, you both sat down on the stairs.

“i think he knows about ofa” izuku mumbled nervously, hands twitching in his lap as he stared ahead. “i mean it was expected, kacchan is very smart and-“ izuku went on his own train of thoughts and you gently grabbed one of his hand.

“it was inevitable either way, katsuki won’t tell a soul either way, we both know he’s not the type” you reassure your best friend, giving him a small smile.

“i know, he’ll probably get mad though haha” izuku lets out a forced laugh and you just move your hand to rub his back.

what you didn’t expect the next morning was that you’d find both boys wrapped in bandages and in a pretty beat up state. well if you had to guess, you were sure with katsuki, that the conversation between them would never had been just sitting next one other and discuss what’s on your mind. you were even more surprised when izuku told you that they are both in house arrest for a few days and have to clean the building. aizawa sensei did not go easy on them with the punishments.

bakugou only looked at the two of you while waiting for everyone to leave for classes, wishing you’d come up to him as well, but he decided to talk to you tonight about his conversation with midoriya and you were quite surprised later that afternoon when he walked up to you, asking if you two could talk somewhere private. you only nodded and followed him up to his room.

when you two reached your destination, he let you in first and you looked around his room since this is your first time here and it was very bakugou like and you swear you saw a few all might figurines and were those romance novels? you didn’t have much time to think about when he cleared his throat from his spot on the bed where he seemingly sat down while you were looking around.

“you knew about it, didn’t you?” he quietly asked, looking directly in your eyes with an unreadable emotion. you looked right back at him, thinking of the right answer, but he continued. “you always favoured that damn nerd” he added somewhat bitterly while looking away from you.

“it’s not about favouring anyone katsuki” his heart quickens when he hears you calling him by his first name “and it wasn’t my place to tell you about the inheritance of one for all.” he knows you’re right with the slight sharpness in your tone. “i found it out by accident too if it calms your nerves. i know him like the back of my hand so i knew something was up when he suddenly couldn’t spend time with me. so i followed him and saw him with all might, then there was no point in hiding it” you shrugged but your soft gaze remained on him.

bakugou decided to not try and argue with you, not wanting to lose the small amount of involvement you two built up. so he only nodded while standing up and walked you back down the common room without any other words being exchanged. you were kind of expecting him to go off on you but you didn’t want to talk about it any further, this is izuku’s business not yours, you’re just happy that he was given a chance to prove himself to be a hero.

——

the two of you go back to how things were before your conversation and soon enough winter approaches. after the matches with 1B, bakugou walked up to you while you were walking back to the dorms. you were talking with uraraka about todays events when he brushed his hand against your back with such gentleness that you thought it was one of the girls. when you turned around you abruptly stop and look at him, eyes round with wonder.

“can i talk to you for a second?” his rough voice makes it hard to understand his words at first with how quiet his voice is and you turn towards ochaco, who looked at the both of you with curiosity.

“i’ll meet you back at the dorms” you flash her a smile and she walks away from the two of with a nod. “is everything okay?” you ask bakugou as the two of you walk in a comfortable pace.

“i just, i wanted to tell you that you did great today” he slowly said while looking ahead. “i uh, i think your new move is quite cool” he added, feeling the redness spread across his cheeks.

“you think? it took me a while to get it right but i’m so happy that i was able to use it just like how i planned” you explain to him how you put the whole move together and all of his attention was on you, drinking your words in. this is probably the first time you talked this much to him since your childhood. “you know, i’m glad you’re becoming a team player” you add at the end and he knew you meant that he involved his team in his plans instead of just fighting on his own.

“yeah, as long as they follow what i say, anyone with me will win” he smirked as the two of you reached the dorm building, you turn towards him with a smile and he feels like he made a small accomplishment with you.

——

the next time the two of you have this amount of conversation is when when he wakes up from his coma after pushing izuku out of the way before shigaraki could hit him. you knew the two have been training together more recently after izuku manifested a second quirk during the training fight against class 1B and then thanks to todoroki, they both were able to do their hero work studies at endeavour’s agency where all three of them improved drastically. you were lucky enough to land a position at mirko’s agency where you learned a few new skills yourself. then bakugou accompanied izuku back to shigaraki to fight along and protect him, which resulted in him getting seriously injured.

you were waiting for izuku to wake up when you heard him stomping against the cold tile floor, shouting that izuku needs to wake up. your heart swells at the fact that he’s worried for your childhood friend, yet you were also worried for him, so without thinking you jump up and stop him abruptly when you gently hug him. you didn’t want to hurt his wound on his lower stomach nor the one on his shoulder so you pulled away soon after and that was enough time for the others to pick him up and take him back to bed and you followed them.

the rest of your friends walked out of the room the second you stepped in and closed the door behind them. you took a seat on his bed, right next to his hand and you took it in yours. you held it delicately, your tender caressing putting him at ease as you moved it into your lap. your uniform’s skirt slid up a little bit so his naturally warm hand was touching your bare thigh and he tried his best not blush at the contact. he was waiting for you to talk first when he felt something wet drop on his hand, so when he heard you sniffle, he instantly felt alarmed. he moved his hand up from your lap to cradle your face and turn you towards him. no words were needed as he pulled your shaking body towards his, engulfing you in a hug while stroking your back and face while hiding his face in your hair (if only the two of you knew back then that no less than two months later you’ll be in the same position with even more emotions).

——

the first time bakugou saw you truly angry with the deku was when he decided to leave you all behind, only leaving letters to explain how he’s putting everyone in more danger if he stays in one place.

“it’s not all for one who will kill him, i will, he should be more scared of me” you pave back and forth in the common rooms where everyone is gathered to find a way to get izuku back. “what is he thinking, does he think he can take them on without any back up? the second i see him, i will end him for real” your rant is not taken seriously by anyone, they were sharing your opinion but maybe they weren’t to as aggressive about it (izuku later admitted that he was indeed scared of your wrath and offered you a limited edition figurine of all might, which you refused to accept).

no one heard of him for a while now and none of you could sit around any longer and hope for a miracle. so when you all managed to get endeavour to meet with principal nezu in his office and find out where he was currently at, you all feel somewhat relived, now all you had to was bring him back.

you all reached the mall after saving him from the villain dictator, though he still put up a fight, thinking that no matter what, he’ll be better off alone. everyone told izuku something that influenced them thanks to him but he still didn’t listen. it was hard to look at him, all beat up and tired and you wonder when was the last time he had a proper meal and a good nights sleep. he only stopped hopping around, when bakugou started to talk to him and apologise for how he treated him all those years. your eyes felt glossy when bakugou rushed towards izuku’s fainting body.

——

you and bakugou didn’t talk much since then, too focused on training for the war. the two of talked again when you reached your temporary dormitory the day before luring all for one to you. a knock was heard on your door around 8pm and you wondered who it was. bakugou stood there, now changed out of his hero costume and only wore his usual comfy outfit. you let him in right away and you both sit on your bed. his fingers linger on your arm first before he slides his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together.

“you better not die out there (y/n)” the use of your name makes it sound more sincere and serious, the gentleness of his voice makes your heart flutter. you squeeze his hand as you grin up at him and lean your head against his shoulder.

“you better not die out there either katsuki” you add quietly, the both of you sitting on the edge of your bed in silence.

if only the two of you knew back then.

——

everything is blurry when you open your eyes, the lights are too bright and you swiftly close your eyes with a wince, suddenly aware of the amount scars you must’ve suffered from the war. your mind feels hazy as you try to find your bearings again. how long have you been out for? how is everyone doing?

you don’t even bother to sit up so just lay there with staring up at the ceiling, you’re alone in the room, maybe your injuries were too severe and as fast as you possibly can, you check if you still have your limbs attached to you. your left leg is hang up, seeming broken while the other one is only bandaged up. your arms aren’t broken, only a few of your fingers and out of the blue you remember taking a hit with your right shoulder. you don’t even want to think about the state your chest must be in. you rest your head on your pillow again as you force yourself to remember.

you remember winning, that’s for sure.

you also remember hitting your head so hard you barely managed to continue on fighting and that kind of answers why you have a hard time getting flashbacks. you’re so deep in thought that you don’t even notice someone walking in.

“oh my god shoji, she’s awake! go and get a doctor” you recognise jiro’s voice before you see her and you turn towards her direction. “you’re the last one to wake up, we were so worried!” she rushes to your side, her tone is full of worry.

“so i had been out for a while huh” you wish you could tell her that your ears are acting funny but you don’t have the heart to say anything when you see one of hers wrapped up, meaning her quirk is damaged. you are barely acknowledging how the door of your room is getting more busy, when a doctor walks in with a nurse.

“miss (l/n), you spent nearly two weeks in coma. although from those severe injuries you collected during the war needed time to heal.” then the doctor goes on about fractures, broken bones and you have a concussion as well. you only hummed in response as you stared up the ceiling again. according to the nurse, your bandages are holding up nicely and so are the machines around you but told you that she’ll be back in a few hours to check up on you.

once they leave your room, your family is the first one to come in. your mum sits down right away, next to your bed and you see her eyes are red, probably from crying all day and night, hoping you wake up soon, but she smiles at you with so much care you feel your eyes water. your dad is sitting down on your other side, his whole face looks relaxed now that you’re awake. you listen to them as the kindly scold you but they reassure you how proud they are of you for being so brave. your mum even told you that’ll she cook your favourite dish tomorrow and bring it in for you. they left two hours later, but your room became more busy after that.

your friends crowded around your bed, all feeling relief that finally you’re awake too. they are all bandaged up, but the happiness on their faces made you feel better. they all filled you in on their own journey with the hospital. when izuku walked in through the door, they all said their goodbyes and get well soons, promising to visit you tomorrow.

izuku was in no better state than you, needing a crutch to walk around. a wide smile is stretching on his face, as he looks at you and you return it.

“the hero of our future, how are you?” your voice is still rough from not using it in a while.

“it’s only because everyone helped me taking down all for one and shigaraki, we did it together. besides i’m feeling so much now that my best friend is awake.” he replies with fondness in his voice.

“who would’ve thought three years ago that we’d be here today like this” you let out a soft snicker.

“i’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, ever since we were kids” izuku tears up and you would wipe his tears for him if you could move your fingers. “kacchan is outside, you two should talk as well” he adds with a gentle tone and you only nod.

you remember him getting a deadly shot.

as izuku walks out, kirishima rolls bakugou in, he’s body in a wheelchair. he isn’t as moody as he usually is and his face looks so tender when he finally looks at you. when kirishima left, he leaps out of the chair and slowly sits next to you, just like you did two months ago. you wish you could feel his touch around your hand when he gently grabs it and when the two of you finally look at each other, your tears are unstoppable. he lefts your hand up to cradle his cheeks, seeking your comfort while sniffling and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this. no words are said this time around either, the both of you happy to be around the other.

——

it will take japan a long time to get back on track after the destruction, the war had caused. everyone is still experiencing the aftermath, but things are looking bright.

you’re reading an article about another city being successfully built up again as you walk towards your classroom. your third year only started two months ago, the pressure of graduating and becoming an actual, full time hero is somewhat taking a tool on all of you. however some of your classmates know how to bring the fun in during stressful times.

“y’all, barbecue night tomorrow, how does that sound?” mina loudly asks as she looks around the room and everyone gets rather excited about the idea, excitedly chatting with each other. you walk towards izuku, to show him the article on your phone, knowing he still feels like he was the cause of the war, so news like this reassure him somewhat, that no one blames him. he leans down to read it and he excitedly rambles to you that half of japan had been rebuilt already with some help from overseas. the two of you continue talking until aizawa sensei walks in tiredly as always and the chatter among the class dissolves and everyone sits down to their desks.

the rest of the day goes by uneventful, everyone is preparing to blow some steam off during the weekend. bakugou comfortably sits on one of the sofa’s with legs spread, his arms is resting on the headrest as he lazily scrolls through his phone. it wasn’t his turn to make dinner tonight either and kirishima is away training with a few others. bakugou prefers to train early in the morning so he doesn’t have to listen to the nagging of his friends about not spending enough time with them in the afternoons.

he feels someone plop down next to him and when he turns his head at the person who interrupted his rather ‘productive’ time, he stops the shout bubbling in his throat when he sees your bright (e/c) eyes staring at him. his features visibly soften as he takes in your face, he knows you came back from training and just got out of the showers, your usual scent of strawberry and peaches fills his nostrils and your hair still damp. you’re dressed comfortably, wearing shorts and a baggy shirt and you’re eating a granola bar.

your relationship with bakugou hadn’t changed much since the war ended apart from the two of you talking much more than before. your second year was hectic, the war caused difficulties for everyone, the two of you didn’t really have that much time to be around each other, either way the both of you are happy that the two of you are working your way towards a blossoming, strong friendship. bakugou’s behaviour changed since his first year, he matured and learned to keep his anger under control, mainly around you. he’s also larger than before, his tank top barely hiding the bulging muscles or the baggy pants are barely loose around the thick of his thighs. bakugou looks much more grown up as well, sometimes sporting a stubble and his hair is more tamed at the top with a visible undercut and easily towers over people.

it’s not just him though, you’ve grown into a beautiful young lady as well. you’re hair is longer than it used to be, you lost your baby face and gained sharpness to your cheeks and your curves are more defined. kindness always radiates from your form whenever you’re around and (to bakugou’s dismay) admirers found their way to you, but you politely rejected their advances.

“dinner’s ready soon, so don’t stuff yourself full off that” he gently scolds you and your lips curl up in a smile as you take another bite.

“i know katsu, but it was yelling my name! how could i just leave it there?” you giggle as you fake a pout and you lean more into the sofas cushions with your side and bakugou shakes his head, but a small grin finds its way to his lips. the two of you engage in a small talk about how kaminari electrified sero by mistake, make the poor boy push against a passing midoriya, resulting the both roll around the floor.

during your conversation with the blonde, more people started to make their way into the common room and soon enough dinner was ready too. bakugou helps you stand up from the couch as he extends his hand for you to take and pulls you up tenderly and you’re pressed against his for a second before you thanked him with a smile for helping you and left to join uraraka at one of the tables (he wished you’d sit with him).

the next day, the height alliance was echoing of laughter, the atmosphere was welcoming as 3B joined your class for the night. there are a few games planned, like mario kart, uno and other board games, the playlist jiro put together was playing on the speakers. you were standing next to uraraka as you listened to some of the girls talking about a new boy band that recently came out but you often found your attention slip away and your eyes involuntarily found bakugou every now and then. he was sitting on one of the couches, seemingly in a conversation with a few others. everyone is wearing causal clothes instead of the comfy joggers and shorts and you have to admit, bakugou looks very hot in his black jeans and his simple black shirt. it doesn’t mean that bakugou doesn’t sit like he usually is, his thighs are spread but this time his hands in his pockets.

you never really focused on your romantic feelings towards anyone, you might be a late boomer for that, but even if you and bakugou had a fallout, for some reason it was always obvious that you had some sort of feelings for him. he was the very first friend you made, of course he’ll have a special place in your heart, even so the way he treated midoriya during your middle school years, barely giving him a chance to have a somewhat normal childhood set you off. for a long time back then, you weren’t sure if there was any way of the two of you becoming friends again, but he kept proving himself from time to time that he isn’t the same as he was back then.

the realisation of your feelings was around the time when uraraka and midoriya got together. uraraka shyly asked you one day, if there was anything going on between you and midoriya and you knew of the brown haired girl’s crush on you best friend and at first you weren’t sure what to say to her. you never thought of midoriya that way, you two were more like siblings rather than lovers materials and in the best way possible, you tried to explain that to uraraka. unbeknownst to her, you also knew about midoriya’s crush on uraraka and you helped to set the two up together. the three of you were walking around campus, the couple were holding hands and when you looked at their laced fingers, bakugou popped into your head with a warm feeling and how nice it would be to hold his. you abruptly stopped at the thought of him in that way and you start to shake your head, making the couple walking with you to slow down and you watch at you with a concerned look.

“what’s wrong (y/n)?” midoriya’s voices reaches you and you stop shaking your head. when you turn to look at them, your eyes wide and your face is flushed red. uraraka opens her mouth to talk but you’re faster.

“i think i might have feelings for katsuki” you whisper, hoping the two catched what you said. midoriya’s face looks more calm than a second ago and uraraka’s lips are stretched in a wide grin. “okay, let’s go! do not tell a soul or bring it up again!” you quicken up your pace and start walking ahead of the couple and after a snicker they follow after.

“we should play truth or dare!” mina’s voice brings you out of your rather embarrassing memory and you see everyone moving towards the sofa’s. there is many of you so the chance of you getting picked is low, so you make your way where everyone is gathering. you make eye contact with jiro when you’re looking around for an empty space and she’s flashing a small smile, patting the seat next to her and you beam at her for offering.

when everyone is settled, the game begins. at first it starts out innocent, with a few easy questions like ‘what’s your most embarrassing story?’ or ‘worst date’, but after a while the boys start to feel risky with the dares and suddenly there are faces covered in lipstick marks, izuku had to shout ‘i’m here’ from the rooftop and so on. things were light till mina turned to bakugou.

“truth or dare, mr. grumpy pants?” she smirks at him, eyes glinting in slight mischief and that’s never good.

“raccoon eyes, i’m not even fucking playing” bakugou shouts at the pinkette, making her smirk widen.

“are you scared?” she taunted.

“i’m not! truth” he mumbled the last word.

“do you have a crush on anyone kacchan?” kaminari leans in before mina could ask him the same question before quickly pulling away so he’s face doesn’t get blown off.

“what’s it to you? i do, whatever. now leave me the hell alone” bakugou growls while standing up and retreats to his room before anyone could get more information out of him. kirishima smiled knowingly after him and made eye contact with you, which made you furrow your eyebrows. so bakugou likes someone, she must be pretty lucky then, you think, trying to not let the sadness be apparent on your face.

the rest of the night went by, despite the bomb bakugou dropped on everyone about having a crush, the bakusquad started to make plans to get the ash blonde tell them who it was. later, around 2am, everyone decided to wrap the party up, thanking for 3B for joining you all and you’ll clean up the mess in the morning, too tired to get it done this late.

you take in a huge breath when you step into your room, relieved to finally be alone. it’s not like, you hate being around your friends, but sometimes this amount of people make you feel overwhelmed. you also can’t stop thinking about bakugou, your heart too loud to hear your thoughts and you wish so badly to be able to sleep right now and not feeling this ache of wanting him, knowing he probably wants somebody else.

——

the next few weeks are all the same, packed with tests, training, homework and the excitement for the training camp bubbling in your stomach. although, all of the stress leaves you in a second when you pass all of your tests and pack for the camp. you’ve been thinking about bakugou more and more and you managed to avoid him for your own sake. the uncertainty of having a chance with him made you feel nervous being around him, like you aren’t delusional, it would be weird if he actually thought of you that way since your fallout and all. you also don’t want to lose the friendship the two of you managed to build up again, so you’d rather stand aside and watch him be happy with someone else than losing him.

with thoughts like that, it was hard to get a decent amount sleep, you woke up quite groggy and moody the next morning. you took your time to get ready, coaxing (trying) yourself into a happier mood before anyone realises that something is off. you aren’t in the mood to explain yourself to anyone and you’re more than grateful for midoriya and uraraka for not bothering you about the whole thing you admitted to them.

a knock interrupted your thought process and you loudly asked the person on the other side to wait a second before opening the door, you were in the middle of dressing up in your uniform. bakugou was leaning against the door when you opened the door, watching you fumble with your tie and he quietly scoffed to himself before gently pulling your hands away and helped you. the sudden shock of seeing him caused you to freeze up at first but you let your hands fall down next to your sides while staring ahead of you.

“there dumbass” he rasps, the morning voice is still evident, making your brain hazy. “do you need help with your luggage? the bus just pulled up and we are putting our shit in” his voice is low as he slowly talks, wanting you to look up at him with your pretty hues, however your eyes remained on his shirt.

“that would be nice, thank you” you don’t look at him, instead you’re making your way back inside your room, then pull a large suitcase towards him.

bakugou picks it up without effort, vermilion eyes still trained on your figure “oi, are you okay?” his voice is now gentle compared to his usual harsh tone, stepping closer to you and you don’t move.

“yeah, i just didn’t sleep well last” you mumble out. “but it’s okay, i’ll just sleep on the bus” you force a smile on your face and before he could call you out on barely sleeping, you swiftly turn around to get your backpack and close your door. “let’s go, we’ll be late” you grab his arm and make your way down to the others. once you walk out of the building, you let go of bakugou’s arm and quietly walked towards the others.

bakugou won’t admit it, but he liked the warmth of your hand on his arm. although lately he feels like you’ve been pulling away from him, had he upset you somehow? bakugou doesn’t even want to think about the two of you falling out again, he knows he won’t be able to take it and that will tear his tough exterior down, he can’t let neither happen. bakugou decided the second the bus left and kirishima sat down next to him that during the one week of training camp, he will talk to you about his feelings, even if he knows that you won’t reciprocate them.

the ride towards the destination where your training camp will take place is three hours away from the school. uraraka asked you if it’s okay for her to sit with midoriya, to which you gave her a reassuring smile with a small nod. tsu takes a seat next to you a few minutes later, asking if you’re doing alright and you just put your head on her shoulder while mumbling about how tired you feel. you don’t even realise how you fell asleep till you feel tsu gently nudging you to wake up because you arrived. you don’t feel any less tired nonetheless, the aching feelings never leave. the boys help you girls with your suitcases when you step down from the bus and you all walk inside the large house you’ll be staying at.

this time, two people will share one room instead of everyone sharing one with their genders. mina jumps on you right away, begging for you to join her and you only grab her hand and drag her towards one of the rooms. the second you walk into the room, you plop down on the bed that’s closer to the window.

“we aren’t doing anything today, right?” you ask mina with your eyes closed.

“no we only start on monday, so today we can just relax and settle in!” she excitedly replied and you hear a bunch of things scatter around the floor already.

“good, i’m taking a nap” you pull the covers on top of you, only realising how drained you feel mentally. maybe you should talk to midoriya and uraraka about it, in hopes of feeling better, yeah you’ll do that once you slept.

“girl, what-“ mina doesn’t finish her sentence, already hearing your even breathing. she wonders if you’re doing alright, you’ve been kind of strange lately. at first she thought it was because you were stressed over the exams but she isn’t so sure anymore and mina damn well knows that a certain ash blonde boy is worried about you. mina didn’t have to ask bakugou if he liked you more than a friend, it was always evident since first year how he’s much more gentle around you. she decided not to push it with bakugou though, she doesn’t want to make you or him uncomfortable and mina knows that bakugou knows what he’s doing, she’s just there to support him even if she doesn’t know how you feel towards him.

after a few hours, you wake up to find your room empty. mina’s colourful things, mainly pink, fill up the half of the room and you’re surprised to see how the room isn’t a mess, well yet. you look at your phone to check the time with wide eyes when you realise, you’re already in the evening. there was a message from your pink friend to let you know that she’ll come and wake you up before dinner if you are still asleep then. you stand up from your bed and lock the door so no one walks in on you while changing. you change into a pair of gym shorts and a loose fitting shirt and you unpack your clothes and other necessities first before unlocking the door and leave your room to join the others. you hope they aren’t mad at you for not being around them lately (they are more worried than mad).

everyone is hanging outside, the camp had a large garden with a small pond at the back and a few benches with tables paired surrounded it. there was a larger table set up as well with snack and drinks for now, with cups and plates as well and you headed towards it.

“look who decided to join us!” kirishima exclaims loudly with a large smile plastered on his face and swings his arm around your shoulder, around you everyone cheers “you good?” he asks with a quieter tone, knowing it’s only a matter of seconds before everyone else surrounds you.

“yeah, just awfully hungry!” you let out a small laugh when you grab a bag of chips. “when’s dinner anyways?” you turn towards him curiously, knowing your appetite won’t go away till you had eaten a proper dinner.

“in half an hour” kirishima chuckles as he lets go of you (he felt his best friend’s red eyes on him the whole time and he doesn’t want to die anytime soon) and asks if you wanted to join him and the others which you only nod to, mentally preparing to face bakugou after your rather awkward encounter earlier that morning. towards your way to the table, mina stands up to greet you with a hug.

“i hope i didn’t wake you, i tried to be quiet while unpacking.” she says with a grin while rubbing your arms. you shake your head, mirroring her expression and she ushered you to sit down… next to bakugou.

“hi” you quietly greet the grumpy boy with a small smile, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable for pressing against him too much because mina took a seat next to you, sitting too closely. his left hand is resting on the backrest of the bench between you two and he’s only wearing a red wifebeater with black shorts, your thighs press tightly against his and you’re grateful he’s sitting like this because you’re not sure if you could handle being pressed against his hard chest. he only gives you a nod before he drinks from his water battle, his eyes are unreadable, his feature are blank. you must’ve made him upset because even when the two of you weren’t on talking terms, he never acted like this, so close yet so far away from you.

maybe he knows about your crush on him?

before you could overthink, mina turns towards you excitedly with sero and kaminari, asking for your opinion of something. it lead to you easily engaging in a conversation with them nearly forgetting about bakugou sitting next to you, realising that he hasn’t talked since you sat down. maybe he didn’t want to talk with you around?

“i’m gonna go and find ochaco, i’ll talk to you later okay?” you stood up and smiled at your friends as you excused yourself, kirishima looked at you with both brows raised, seemingly returned from somewhere. you only gave him a smile that didn’t reach your eyes but he only gave you a warm one back before turning towards his friends.

you walked towards where uraraka was sitting and when she made eye contact with you her rosy cheeks spread with a smile. you sat down next to her and she excitedly included you on what they were talking about with the dekusquad, feeling the lingering gaze of bakugou’s eyes on you, but you didn’t look at him at all.

bakugou didn’t want you to leave them, he knew he was acting differently and he didn’t talk during your conversation but he missed hearing you. hearing your voice is like a remedy for his aching heart and when you sat down, nearly pressing up against him, it took every ounce of his self control to not pull you close and have you nestled in his arms. like when kirishima had his arms around your shoulders, he so damn wished it was him holding you close like that and that’s why, he’ll ask you to talk to him after dinner.

dinner rolled around and you ate like a madman, snacks can only satisfy your appetite to a certain extent and the food that was served tasted like heaven. you still prefer bakugou’s cooking though. after dinner, a few still remained in their seats while others started to mingle. you were peacefully chatting with uraraka when her eyes jumped up and back down to you and before you could look up, a warm hand gently brushed against your shoulder.

“can we talk?” a deep voice rasps, your eyes look widely at uraraka who in turn only gives you a reassuring smile and you turn around to face bakugou.

“yeah, sure” you nervously smile and you swear your heart will come out of your throat at this rate. the rest of your way towards bakugou’s room is a blur as you follow him, your knees feel wobbly and you could empty your dinner on the floor.

bakugou let’s you in before himself and closes the door after the both of you are inside. it seems like he’s sharing a room with kirishima because the crimson riot blanket is something the redhead would own. that makes you feel a tad bit better and you sit down on kirishima’s bed, fingers finding the soft material of the blanket. bakugou sits down on his bed across from you, leaning back on his hands, vermillion eyes taking you in. his posture makes him look so sure of himself but that’s further away from how he actually feels. bakugou doesn’t know how to talk to you without feeling his heart racing or the tips of his ear turn red and the so called butterflies go wild in his stomach.

you patiently wait for him to start, the floor seems to be a great spot to look at and your leg is bouncing but it all stops when he finally starts talking to you “have i done somethin? you’ve been ignorin’ me lately.” he lowly grumbles, eyes never leaving you.

“i didn’t, no i-“ you don’t even know what to say, too caught off guard by his question. “i wasn’t uh ignoring you” you whisper nervously and you could faint right this instant.

“ya weren’t? ‘cos it felt like it” his voice sounded louder than before and now he leans back up with his arms crossed. “thought we started to get closer ya know” you look up at him when he says that, eyes slightly widen and he’s looking away from you now, pouting. he’ll knew if you lie to him, so you don’t know what to tell him. you’re scared to tell bakugou the truth about your feelings for him because you could ruin everything (you wouldn’t) you have with him.

“i couldn’t be around you knowing you like someone else” the words come out before you could stop them and you quickly cover your face after the realisation hits you. “i’m so dumb, i’m sorry. i know there is no chance of you liking me, like i didn’t even talk to you for years before ua because i was so damn mad, for how you treated izuku. and like i know i didn’t have a reason to, even izuku told me to not be afraid of you, i didn’t know if you’d end up hating me too during middle school. but you’re not a bad person on the inside, i’ve come to learn that and i really like being around you, i’ve realised there isn’t really anyone else for me but you and it hurts how much i need you knowing you don’t want me” you’re sobbing into your hands as the words come out wobbly and you can’t stop them leaving your lips.

it takes bakugou a few minutes to actually understand what you’re saying and he feels relieved knowing you feel the same as him. he quickly gathers his thoughts because you are literally breaking down infront of him and he’s just sitting there pouting like an idiot.

“oi, look at me” he gently pleaded as he kneeled down infront of you, large warm hands attached themselves to your smaller wrist to tug your hands out of his view. when you let him, your eyes are glossy and red, yet he still thinks you’re beautiful. “i- fuck, i was worried you’d never talk me again after how i acted. fuck, i don’t even know what i did to deserve even the smallest moments with ya.” he lets out a dry chuckle, but his eyes never leave yours. “when you started to be more open towards me, as much as i wished to, i didn’t want force myself on you and lose you again. i’ve always known since we were kids that i want to be with you.” his thumbs started to stroke your cheeks as he takes a hold of your face and you look at him bewilderingly from his confession. “and now you’re here tellin’ me what i’ve been craving to hear for years now, it feels fucking insane.” he leans in closer now, looking up at you with love filled eyes, hands wondering down from your face to your hips. “if you’ll have me, i’ll treat you like you deserve. so please have me (y/n)” he’s begging now, he will take whatever pain life throws at him, as long as you’re by his side.

“katsuki..” your voice is small, barely audible as you try to process what is going on, bakugou likes you. it’s you who he likes and he wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him. “i’ll die if it isn’t you i’m with” you whimper and he pulls you closer to meet your body halfway. one of his hands sneak back up to your cheek and your arms wrap around his neck.

your lips finally meet, moulding perfectly together and it’s quite clumsy since it’s both of your first kiss, but it doesn’t matter. your hand sneaks up into his ash blonde hair to pull him closer to you before he leaves for a second to breath, and then leans back in, both hands now placed on your hips again and pulls you impossibly close. his tongue is licking at your bottom lip to let him in, which you do and completely let go of yourself.

suddenly you feel your back pressed against the soft mattress and bakugou is above you, kissing you like it’s your last one. a hand wanders down your thighs and he pulls away a little to ask for permission and when you lean back up for more, he moves your thigh out of the way and presses himself closer. now with your hips touching, you whimper into the kiss when he ruts into as gently as he can, he pulls away to kiss along your jaw and down to your neck, trying to find that sweet spot of yours. you moan when he kisses where your shoulder and neck meets and he starts to kiss, lick and suck at the spot all at once.

your thighs squeeze his waist as his movement never stop and the repeated actions on your neck doesn’t help either. when bakugou finishes he leaves with a small kiss on the bruising spot and moves back to your lips. the kiss this time is more hungry and hot, but before things could be taken any further, bakugou leans back and moves so you two can see each other.

“let me take you out first, princess” he looks down at you with a soft look and his lips are plump and wet from the kiss.

“okay” you smile wildly at him and he pulls the both of you up so the both of you are sitting up and brings you in his arms.

“i’m so fucking happy that you finally came around, it was worth to wait all these years” he whispers against your ears and you let out a giggle.

“thank you for waiting for me kats” you peck his lips and for the first time ever, bakugou’s face breaks out in a large grin.

(midoriya, uraraka, kirishima and mina were all standing outside the room until the two of you started kissing. they all smiled to each other, feeling happy for their friends and relieved that the two of you finally confessed)

[junrenjun]

but even after this, you're still everything to me

choi seungcheol x reader, formula 1 au

genre: heavy angst

wc: 5.5k

warnings: fem reader, enemies to lovers, misogyny, death threats

a/n: another request by @straykidsstanforeverandever. lot's of heavy f1 jargon and such in this. if you aren't super in tune with f1, there may some references you don't understand. read with caution. title is a lyric from the grudge by olivia rodrigo.

Imola has always been one of your least favorite tracks to drive. And after today, you never want to come near it again. Maybe you’ll fake an illness when the time comes around next season. It would be nice to let the development drivers get some real racing time and you wouldn’t have to drive this cursed track again. 

A voice in your ears distracts you from the little pity party you’ve started in your brain. “Are you okay y/n?” 

Your race engineer’s question reminds you that your radio is being publicized on live television right this moment. Sighing, you quickly respond, “yeah Will, I’m fine. Today’s just not my day.”

The answer is half-hearted, but the man knows better than to question you right now, when you’re being recorded. He settles with, “okay, red flags are out for you. You can hop out of the car when you’re ready.”

You don’t think you’ll ever be ready. But life is tough and Formula 1 is tougher, so you undo your belts and pull yourself out of the car. You take a minute to inspect your blown out tire, before taking your helmet off. Marshals surround you, asking if you are alright, but you brush them off. You just want to be back in your driver’s room already. 

The journey back to the paddock is a painful one, both mentally and physically. Your knee is throbbing from where it hit against the side of the car on impact. You pray the cameras don’t pick up your limp. It takes all of your energy not to cry when you see the pitying expressions of the rest of the McLaren crew. Another potential win out the window, just like that. 

The rest of the race passes by in a flash. Between going to medical as per your trainer’s request (the cameras did in fact pick up the limp) and changing out of your race suit, you only catch the last three laps. One of the Mercedes cars wins by practically a mile. And it’s fucking Choi Seungcheol of all people. 

You have half a thought to turn the TV in your driver’s room off the second he crosses the finish line, but you don’t. You’re itching to hear whatever dumb thing he says in his interview today. The man is a walking PR nightmare. 

Sure enough, the camera is chasing after him the second he steps out of the car. After a few second water break, he turns to the interviewer, who asks him, “Great win today Seungcheol. You worked your way up from 5th to 1st within a few laps today. How does that feel?”

“It feels great. I mean I couldn’t have done it without y/n’s tire of course…”

You turn the TV off, cutting him off the second he mentions your name. Slumping back even more on the couch, you throw an arm over your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. Whatever possessed you to choose a male dominated sport?

You’re thrown out of your thoughts once again by a voice from your doorway. “At least it was kind of a compliment, eh?”

When you peek out from under your arm, Oscar is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. You remove your arm from your face, scooting farther down the couch and patting the spot next to you. The Aussie moves to join you. 

After a few moments of silence you turn to face him. “You made it back to the paddock pretty fast.”

It’s his turn to groan this time. “I retired 7 laps from the end. Engine failure. I was in 3rd.”

You hum, wistfully. Then turn to look out the window. “Bad day to be Papaya, I guess. Think we can convince Jungwon and Pato to take our places at Imola next season? I think I have PTSD from this track now.”

Oscar simply snorts in response. For the small amount of time remaining before you have to face the nightmare that is media duty, you simply enjoy sulking together. 

A little less than a week later, you’re standing on one of your all-time favorite tracks: Monaco. Your mood now is starkly different than it was at Imola. You’re practically bouncing on your heels waiting for FP1 preparations. Jungwon is by your side, instructed by your team principal to “learn from the best,” since he’ll be driving here for F2. 

The kid is clearly a little nervous, but he’s endearing and a pretty decent driver, so you don’t mind. You’ve already gone over the track layout with him, giving him tips for certain corners and telling him where he can make up extra time. There’s not much feedback left to give until you see him drive in person, so you resort to small talk.

As you both walk up and down the pit lane, Seungcheol saunters up to you. You resist the urge to walk away, trying to keep a good display of sportsmanship in front of your junior driver. The Mercedes driver however, clearly does not care, because he says, “is this your replacement after the Imola incident y/n?”

Jungwon, bless his soul, looks mortified. It takes everything in you to not fire a sarcastic remark back. You’re both saved from the awkwardness by Oscar though, who steps in between you and Seungcheol. He clears his throat and tells you, “Andrea is looking for you. I’ll take Jungwon for now.”

You know Andrea is most likely not looking for you. You saw him ten minutes ago when you left the garage. Thank god for Oscar’s ability for thinking on the spot. Now you have some personal time to cool off before free practice.

Both Jungwon and Oscar watch as you jog back to the garage. The Aussie lets out a relieved sigh once you are back safely. He turns to make sure Seungcheol has walked away. Thankfully, he has. 

The younger driver looks at the other quizzically. “I didn’t really realize the rivalry was actually real. I thought it was an act for the cameras.”

Pushing around a stray rock with the toe of his shoe, Oscar sighs again. “Would you believe me if I said they were teammates once?”

Jungwon’s jaw practically unhinges from his face with how far it drops. The kid is probably too young to know them in any capacity other than their rivalry. “But they hate each other…” he muses aloud.

Oscar urges the kid to keep moving along the track with a hand on his back. “Yeah, well they used to not hate each other. They were F2 teammates. It’s none of my business to tell you everything that went down but something happened that year. By the end of the championship they wouldn’t even speak to each other.” 

Jungwon nods in response, but doesn’t say anything. It’s clear that Oscar won’t give up much information, so he drops the subject. But every once in a while, his mind turns back to it. What could’ve been so bad that you guys couldn’t even talk to each other as teammates? If it was some sort of on-track collision he’s sure it would’ve been talked about in the media constantly. Now he’s really going to have to find out. 

And there’s no one better to consult than his own teammate, Lee Chan, who happens to be in the Mercedes Junior Driver Programme.

“You want me to do what?” he asks incredulously. “He’s my mentor, I’m not going to bring that up. Are you dumb?”

“Dude, aren't you curious too?” Jungwon questions.

Chan rolls his eyes at his teammate. “Yeah I’m curious but not curious enough to risk my spot in this program just to ask Choi Seungcheol why he has rivalry with y/n.” 

“You don’t even have to ask him directly,” Jungwon tells him. “I asked Oscar about it, not y/n. Maybe you can ask George or Jeonghan about it.”

Chan throws his hands up in exasperation. “Oh even better, not only do I involve two of the biggest names in Formula 1, I involve one of their trainers and their teammates. What a genius idea!”

Jungwon covers Chan’s mouth as quickly as he can. They’re still in the paddock after all. “Dude keep it down.” 

The man just stares back at the McLaren junior driver, who sighs and says, “listen, I’ll try my best to get something out of y/n too. It’s not just you doing something.”

“Yeah that’s so motivating Jungwon,” Chan says sarcastically.

“Okay, okay,” he finally lets up. “I’ll pay for all of your afterparty drinks this weekend if you figure something out.”

This is motivating enough for Chan apparently, because he reaches his hand out for Jungwon to shake. They come to an agreement and part ways, heading back to their respective hospitalities.

Chan watches in the Mercedes garage as you set the fastest lap at the very end of Q3. He knows Seungcheol is going to be pissed when he gets back. Not only did you qualify P1, but he only qualified P6. His temper is much worse when he’s mad at both himself and someone else. 

Following Chan’s prediction to a tee, Seungcheol steps out the car practically fuming. He tosses his helmet at Jeonghan, who, as his trainer, is quite used to his behavior at this point and catches it. He marches right up to Toto, who is watching a replay of your final lap, and says, “she should’ve had a track limit violation at the chicane.”

Toto turns to him, surprisingly calm, and simply tells him, “She didn’t cut the corner enough to incur a limit violation.”

This is not the answer he wanted to hear, so he turns on his heel to stomp off to his driver’s room. Toto shouts at him from over his shoulder. “Take Chan with you. If you’re going to overanalyze every single mistake you made, at least someone should learn from it.”

Seungcheol whips his head back around to look at Chan, who nervously gulps. He wants to be mad at the kid, but he can’t find a reason to when he’s practically shaking like a leaf. Clearly he didn’t want to be thrown into this situation either. “C’mon,” he mutters and gestures at the junior driver to follow him. 

Back in his driver’s room, he unzips his suit, tying the arms around his waist before plopping down on the couch. When he looks up, the kid is still hovering by the door. Grabbing his iPad from the table, Seungcheol gestures for him to come sit down.

But Chan hesitates. “I can leave you alone, you know? I won’t tell Toto.” 

Seungcheol just rolls his eyes and gestures to the couch again. “C’mon kid. As much as I hate him right now, he’s right. You might as well learn from this and you’re already here.”

Chan makes his way to the couch rather cautiously and sits as far away as possible from the man, who is scrolling through the footage from qualifying. Without even looking over at him, Seungcheol says, “you can sit closer. I’m not going to bite.”

Not wanting to make him mad, Chan scoots a few inches closer. When he looks over at the iPad again, Seungcheol’s fingers are hovering over a video. He hasn’t clicked on it yet. He just sits there and stares at it. When Chan looks a little closer, he can make out your car in the thumbnail. 

Seungcheol clears his throat, looking away for a second. And then he turns back to Chan and says, “is it…uh okay if we watch y/n’s lap first?”

The question kind of stuns him. He was expecting Seungcheol to avoid any reminder of you at all costs. Scared that his voice will betray him, he just nods.

Seungcheol clicks on the video and they watch. The video is on mute and there’s no commentary from either of them. Just silence. As the lap ends, he pauses the video and whispers, “that was a good lap.”

Chan is even more surprised now. He was expecting a frustrated sigh or any sort of mean comment. But he doesn’t get any of that. Now, Chan’s scared that it’s a setup. That he’s trying to get him to agree just to berate him for it. He doesn’t know what to say.

Seungcheol senses that he’s not going to say anything and takes it upon himself to start the conversation. “She’s always been good at Monaco. Even since the first time she drove the track.”

This has really piqued Chan’s interest. Since her first time? Seungcheol was there the first time she drove Monaco? That had to be what? F2?

And then it dawns on him. Jungwon said something about them being teammates in F2. Hoping that the information is public knowledge (it should be, practically their whole racing lives are on Wikipedia) Chan decides to ask about it. “Was that when you were teammates?” He cringes the second the words come out of his mouth. Jungwon owes him big time.

While Chan was expecting him to look angry, Seungcheol just looks at the iPad dejectedly. “Yeah. At Prema. Do you…know about that whole thing?” he asks the boy.

Jackpot. Seungcheol willingly talking about it? He’d never thought this would happen. Then Chan remembers he actually has to respond to him. “Uhm, no I don’t think so. Jungwon said you guys were more…amicable back then.”

“Jungwon’s your teammate at MP?” he asks Chan, who nods in response. Then, Seunghcheol throws a curveball at him. “You’re not attracted to him right?”

Chan sputters at the question. “What? What does this have to do with anything?” When he looks Seungcheol in the eyes he’s dead serious. So he humors him. “No, I’m not attracted to Jungwon. I’m not even gay.”

Seungcheol just nods. “Okay, good. I mean good that you’re not attracted to him. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

This is getting weirder by the second. Chan gives him a questioning look. Why the personal questions?

Exasperatedly, Seungcheol sighs and says, “I don’t want to tell you this if it’s too relatable. I don’t want to scare you and make you not pursue a relationship because of something that happened to me.”

Chan is finally starting to put the pieces together. Then the light bulb goes off and he shoots out of his seat. “You and y/n were together?” he practically shouts.

The older driver drags him back down to his seat and shoves a hand over his mouth. “Be quiet, would you?” Then he releases Chan and slumps back against the couch. “I wouldn’t call it together. We weren’t dating, we knew that F1 would ultimately cause heartbreak for the both of us. We were just messing around. But we were exclusive, I guess.”

Chan doesn’t say anything. He just nods and waits for him to continue. “It was stupid and we both knew it. Especially y/n. She knew that if we got caught, it would affect her career more than mine. Even if we both knew that she was a better driver than I was. This sport isn’t kind to women.”

Seungcheol looks like he might cry. It’s so different from the Seungcheol that Chan witnessed 15 minutes ago in the garage. He doesn’t know what to do. He frowns and lets the man finish his story. 

“Y/n was a part of the Red Bull Junior Team at the time. She had been promised an F1 seat within 3 years if she won the championship. I was in the Mercedes Academy at the time too. So we attended a lot of F1 events together. And I was stupid enough to drag her to makeout in a hidden corner of the paddock at one of them.”

He paused, like the next part of the story would pain him to say. “A member of the press caught us. We both knew we were so screwed. He could easily out us right that second or even use it to blackmail us. Luckily Angelo from Prema was there with us that weekend and helped us negotiate with the man. Turns out this press guy is a big fucking misogynist because the final deal was that he wouldn’t out us if he could tell Christian Horner about our relationship. Said he ‘didn’t want no bitches in Formula 1.’ Prick.”

“Christian kicked her out of the junior program when he found out. He’s also a misogynist. I’m glad she didn’t end up there. He told her that he prefers people who win championships through dedication, not those who sleep to the top. But instead of being mad at him or the press guy, she was mad at me. She told me that I ruined her career. That she would never get into Formula 1 because of me. So she never spoke to me again unless it was at work.”

Chan looks at him skeptically. “But her career turned out fine.”

Seungcheol just shrugs. “Exactly.”

Chan is even more confused now. Understandably, you were upset by this whole situation. But why is Seungcheol a dick to you now? “But the whole rivalry? You seem to have started the hostility in that. Not her.”

The man sighs. “Her career turned out fine, Chan. But she continued to be mad at me.”

It’s starting to click in his brain. “So you’re mad at her because she never forgave you?” Chan asks. 

All Seungcheol says is, “bingo.”

They’re interrupted by Jeonghan knocking on the door and letting the F1 driver know that he’s due in a few minutes for media duties. Seungcheol leaves Chan on his couch without another word. 

“You’re buying my drinks in Barcelona too,” Chan tells Jungwon the second he opens his hotel room door.

Jungwon gapes at him. “What? We only agreed to the afterparty,” he says as the boys walk further into the room, away from prying eyes and ears. 

“Yeah well that was if I got you any information. I got you the whole fucking story, dude.” Jungwon’s eyes are as wide as saucers and he immediately starts asking about it. Chan recounts Seungcheol’s monologue to the best of his abilities. 

“Holy shit, dude,” Jungwon says once he’s finished, flopping down on his bed. “It’s like the opposite of enemies to lovers.”

Chan rolls his eyes at his teammate. “It’s sad, Jungwon. Y/n lost her future job and Seungcheol at the same time. And now they can’t even be civil with each other because they’re holding grudges.”

Jungwon mulls over his words for a minute. “Maybe I’ll ask y/n about it when she’s drunk tomorrow.”

“How do you even know she’s going to be drunk tomorrow, Won?” Chan asks his teammate.

He turns to flash a cheshire grin at Chan before plainly stating, “she’s either going to podium and drink to celebrate, or she’s going to do bad and drink to mourn.”

Chan rolls his eyes once again. “Speaking of which, I’m going to bed. No matter how well I do tomorrow, you’re paying for my drinks.” He drags himself out of Jungwon’s room and down the hall to his own.

You and Oscar are sitting at a table in the far back of the club, away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the afterparty. Mingyu from Ferrari, his trainer Jungkook, Mark from Red Bull, and Chenle from Aston Martin are also gathered around. You’re enjoying the light conversation, basking in the high of your win.

Mark catches your attention after a minute of you spacing out, pointing toward the closest bar. “Isn’t that your little shadow, y/n?” When you look over you see Jungwon conversing with a blonde kid around his age. 

“Yeah,” you muse. “Kind of recognize the kid he’s talking to too. Can’t put a finger on his name though.” 

“That’s his teammate from F2. Lee Chan I think,” Oscar pipes up from across the table. “The kid with the otter helmet.”

A collective “ohhh,” leaves everyone at the table. “I’m going to get another drink,” you tell them. “Might bring the kids back with me.”

Mingyu snickers at you as you leave. “You can’t adopt them all, y/n!” he shouts as you leave. You flip him off behind your back. 

Approaching the bar, you order another drink for yourself and saunter over to where Jungwon is standing. “Hi Wonie,” you say, catching him by surprise as you ruffle his hair a bit. You turn to acknowledge his teammate too. “Hi Chan.”

Chan points back at himself like he’s surprised you know his name. “Is your name not Chan? Oh fuck I’m too drunk for this.” you berate yourself out loud. 

“Uh no ma’am, my name is Chan. Just surprised you know me, that’s all.” he says. 

You giggle a little bit. “Don’t call me ma’am, it makes me feel old. You’re the kid with the otter helmet, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” he says, before correcting himself. “No, I mean, yes. Yes, I’m the kid with the otter helmet.” You can hear Jungwon cackling at his friend behind you. 

You smile at him again before turning back to Jungwon. “Well I’m heading back to sit with those four dumbasses,” you say, pointing back to your table where Jungkook and Mingyu are arguing over something on Mark’s phone. “You two wanna keep me company so I don’t have to deal with them by myself the entire night?”

Jungwon lights up at the question. “Of course!” he practically shouts, and drags a begrudging Chan by the arm to follow you.

When you reach the table, you pat the empty seat next to you, gesturing for Jungwon to sit. Chan grabs the chair next to Mingyu, who messes with his hair and murmurs something about, “the otter kid.”

Jungwon seizes his opportunity ten minutes later, when Mingyu and Oscar are engrossed in a conversation with Chan, Jungkook has gone to the bathroom, and Mark and Chenle are on a video call with Mark’s boyfriend.

“I’m surprised you’re okay with Chan being here,” he says to you as quietly as possible, while still trying to be louder than the music. 

Your eyebrows scrunch at the comment, clearly confused. “Why?” you ask him.

You follow his eyes as they search around the crowd. They land on Seungcheol. Still facing your rival, he says, “Chan is a Merc Junior. Seungcheol is his mentor.”

Letting your eyes wander back to Jungwon, you steel your face into something more serious. “Jungwon, just because Chan is being mentored by a driver I hate doesn’t change my opinion of him.”

“You really hate him?” Jungwon asks. “I understand you guys don’t like each other for whatever reason, but hate is a strong word, right?”

You sigh at him. “Hate is in fact a strong word Jungwon,” is all you say and you leave it at that.

After a minute of uncomfortable silence, he decides to push his luck again. “...Chan said you guys used to be really close. When you were in F2 like us.” 

“Yeah,” is all you say in response. The conversation is just barely hanging on by a thread.

“I don’t want me and Chan to end up like that.” It’s kind of a low blow, he thinks, especially when you’re a little drunk, but it works. You turn to him with sad eyes and reach out to rub his hand comfortingly. 

You whisper so lowly, Jungwon can barely hear it. “You won’t end up like us, Wonie. I promise.”

The near tears in your eyes have him getting emotional too. All signs are showing that Seungcheol’s story is likely true. One last test to find out. “Why not?” he asks.

The tears are getting closer to spilling over and you turn your head to blink them away. While you’re still facing away, you mumble, “your relationship isn’t like ours. At least I hope it’s not.”

Hook. Line. Sinker. Jungwon’s got it now. Seungcheol was definitely telling the truth. He feels a little guilty about prying it out of you like that, but you seem to have sobered up with the conversation. Oscar’s voice breaks both of you out of your little bubble. “Y/n, everyone is going to head back to the hotel soon. You ready?”

You nod vigorously at the man, probably to hide the fact that there are tears in your eyes. You hop off your chair, grabbing your bag and your phone. Then, you lean down to ruffle Jungwon’s hair a bit. “Goodnight Wonie. You and Chan be safe tonight please.”

After bidding everyone else goodbye in the lobby, you and Oscar take the elevator up to your floors. Oscar’s room is one floor beneath yours, so he says goodnight with a comforting hug and a congratulations on the win. As you ride the elevator up once more, you think back to your conversation with Jungwon. Next time you see Seungcheol, you need to tell him to keep his mouth shut.

The elevator doors open and you turn to head to your room. You see a familiar flash of blonde hair round the corner. What convenient timing. You pick up your pace and grab his sleeve, and he whips around with a deadly look in his eyes. It only slightly softens when he realizes it’s you. You shoot him an equally deadly look back. “You want to tell me why my mentee was asking me questions about our relationship?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” is all he says. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t play stupid Cheol. You know Jungwon and Chan are teammates. What did you tell Chan?” As much as he wants to hate you right now, his heart can’t help but skip a beat when you call him Cheol. It’s been so long since you’ve called him that. 

“I didn’t tell Chan anything. Why would I tell him about anything other than racing?” he counters back.

It’s not believable enough for you, so you push. “Jungwon said something about Chan knowing we were close in F2.” 

Seungcheol, tired and wanting to just go to bed, tries to pull his sleeve out of your grip, but you relent. “You can look that up on the Internet y/n. Would you please let me go to bed?”

“No Seungcheol. This concerns both of us. He was asking all the right questions. If you told Chan about us, there’s no guarantee he keeps it to himself. He clearly already told Jungwon.”

He finally frees his sleeve from your grasp. “Can we at least take this somewhere private?” he whispers. You nod and he pulls you down the hall. He’s taking you to his room, you realize and the thought makes you sick.

Once safely inside of his room, he turns back to you with a fire in his eyes. “You wouldn’t have to worry about any of this if you forgave me.” It’s not the words you were expecting to hear, but they also don’t surprise you. 

You try your best to compose yourself. “You ruined my career Seungcheol. Of course I never forgave you.”

He throws his hands up in exasperation. “I clearly did not ruin your career. Look at yourself right now. You’re getting paid more than me. You’re way ahead of me in the championship. Your career is perfectly fine.” This comment starts what is basically a slightly hushed screaming match. 

“I had to fight my way in and got lucky with McLaren. I had a guaranteed seat at RB and you know that.” 

“You know it’s for the best that you didn’t end up there.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay!”

“What was I supposed to do, y/n. I couldn’t have stopped that press guy, I couldn’t have stopped Christian from releasing you, I couldn’t have controlled any of this. But you were the one that stopped talking to me. Just because we cut things off doesn’t mean I had to deal with radio silence for the next year.”

You pause, thinking over what you’re about to tell him. “I had to.”

He crosses his arms and he straightens his posture. “Bullshit.”

“I had to because of the press guy,” you tell him, urgently. 

“We took care of him, y/n,” he deadpans at you. He’s getting uncomfortable with the conversation now. He can’t sit still. 

Tears well in your eyes at the thought of releasing your biggest secret to the man you once loved. “He’s your fucking superfan Seungcheol. He’s been following you since your karting days, like a creep. That’s why he found us in the paddock that day. He was following you. And when he saw us together he took it as an opportunity. He saw me as a threat to your career. He didn’t just get rid of my Red Bull seat. He threatened me for months after through phone calls and emails, saying that if he ever saw me talking to you, he would end my career for good this time.” 

The tears in your eyes have finally spilled. Seungcheol’s heart breaks, both at your words and at the sight of you crying. After a minute of gaping at the revelation, he steps forward and wraps his arms around you. He rests his chin on top of your head as he lets you sob into his chest. 

“He,” you stutter, “he told me that if I didn’t let you win the F2 championship, he would kill me. That’s why I crashed at Baku and didn’t podium the rest of the year.” You rest your head back against his chest and sob again, harder this time.

Seungcheol reaches up to slowly stroke the back of your head, trying to calm you down. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so, so sorry.”

He already knew everything was his fault, but this makes it so much worse. People were threatening to kill you because of him? Suddenly, it dawns on him. How much of an absolute dickhead he’s been. For years he’s been pretending to hate you, throwing mean comments at you, picking fights with you, all while you were trying to protect yourself. “Why did you play along?” he asks.

You don’t look up. Instead, you just let out a questioning hum into his chest.

“The rivalry,” he says. “Why did you play along with it if you didn’t really hate me?”

“It’s good for publicity” you joke. There’s the y/n he knows and loves. Loves. He hasn’t thought about you like that in a long time. Now that he knows the truth, he wants you back in his life so bad. But he knows he doesn’t deserve it. 

“Is the guy still threatening you? Is that why you played along?”

You shake your head. “No. I was trying to negotiate for a bodyguard in my McLaren rookie contract and Andrea asked why. I didn’t want to tell him, but I had to. It would’ve gotten out eventually I think, had Andrea not had him arrested.”

“But why y/n? I’m still trying to understand why you didn’t tell me this. Why did you make it seem like you hated me too?”

You finally look up at him again, brave enough to make eye contact once more. “I thought it was too late to tell you. I had already lied to you, ignored you. That’s not the best way to come back into someone’s life.”

“It was for your own safety. I would’ve understood that,” he tells you softly. Your eyes are bloodshot and the area underneath them is puffy. His heart aches. This is all because of him. 

You shake your head again. “I didn’t think like that at the time. And you had already brought the rivalry into the media. Of course I would be mad at you when you were talking shit about me to the press.”

It’s not a guilt trip on purpose, but it still hits him where it hurts. “Ok, y/n. I get it. I’m a dick.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” you mumble, helplessly.

Silence overtakes you both. Despite the circumstances, it’s not an uncomfortable one. Just two people mulling over their thoughts. Eventually, he breaks it with a whisper of “I miss you.” 

You whisper back an “I miss you too.” It’s real and genuine. You don’t say it because you feel like you have to. You say it because you want to. You hope he can pick up on that. 

He does. His forehead comes to rest against yours as his hand strokes your cheek. His eyes flick to your lips and you hold your breath. As his lips find yours, you feel years of tension release. A stray tear runs down your face and he brushes it away with his thumb. He pulls away.

“Do you,” he breathes out, “do you want to try again?” All you can do is nod in response. 

[thatsdemko]

something blue - l.stroll

masterlist

requested: n

pairings: Lance stroll x bridesmaid!reader

warnings: not intended for minors + some teasing here and there

a/n: look at me finally finishing this fic!

“you’ll really like him! I promise you times have changed he’s super nice now.” Chloe’s on your tail, begging you to do her a favor. she claims it to be a bridesmaid duty suited perfectly for you.

that’s right, she wants you to be lances date.

Lance stroll and you did not have a nice history. he picked on you during your childhood and was mainly the reasons for your own beauty insecurities. you tried everything possible to erase that man from your life.

“that doesn’t excuse the fact that he called me fat when we were twelve.” you narrow your eyes on her when you finally whip around. you watch her eyes close, she nods in agreement muttering it was unacceptable of him to not understand the female body at pre-teen years.

“I promise you,” she takes your hands in hers, “if you want to back out you can, but its only for rehearsal and the wedding. after that? you can go back to hating each other.”

you sigh. over her shoulder is Scotty begging and pleading you with his hands and mouthing the words “please please” repeatedly until you finally give in.

“he owes me more than just paddock passes.”

“yes thank you! whatever you want, I will make sure you get it.”

what you really want is to never see or speak to Lance stroll ever again.

—

Lance places a hand on the chair you’re about to pull out. he looks up into your eyes, you’re practically unrecognizable to him, “oh this seat is taken.” he sends a small apologetic look that makes you roll your eyes and want to take the butter knife beside him and stab your eyes.

“god Chloe is so wrong about you, you haven’t changed one bit.” you slide into the chair beside him and purposefully push your chair closer to Daniels.

his expression changes when he finally connects the dots. high school you and you now, are two different people. you were unrecognizable and it wasn’t because of the makeup, you’d certainly changed since the last time you’d seen Lance stroll.

it had to have been during his karting days. that was probably the final time he saw you. you wore an oversized t-shirt and leggings for the warm weather of Monaco. back then you had braces and religiously wore your hair up in ponytails. it was no wonder he had all of the slightest clue.

“I’m sorry, you just look different,” he pauses gesturing to your hair, the tight midi dress that hugged your curves and breasts, “I’ve never seen you like this before. you look amazing.”

you’re not sure how to take the compliment. for the first time it wasn’t backhanded or his father, Lawrence, forcing him to be kind. this time for once, Lance seemed to genuinely give a thought about his words. so maybe that had changed.

“you look good yourself.” you comment on the blue crisp suit he’s sporting. the jacket snug around his broad shoulders, and the pants just cut above his ankle bone.

he catches your eyes grazing up his body. you can’t help but check him out, your weakness was a man in a good suit and you know a good looking man in one when you see it.

“how come you never looked at me like this before?” he whispers, but it comes out louder than he expects. he blames the music and the constant chatter for his need to scream over the music.

“because you were an asshole, Lance.” you remind him of your childhood. how he’d shut down any opportunity to sit beside you or even have to share twenty minutes alone with you. he missed those chances to really know who you were.

“an asshole? what did I do?” he sits upward, a twist in his stomach that doesn’t settle in him. he reached his hand out against your knee, “y/n, I’m so sorry. whatever I did, I apologize.”

you nod, accepting his apology. you realize it’s ridiculous to hold on to a decades long grudge. if Chloe is truly right he’s changed, you’re willing to let go. you can move on from it.

“so you want more than paddock passes? what can I get you?”

“right now? a cocktail would be lovely.” you hold up your empty wine glass. he stands right up from his seat and is off towards the open bar leaving you alone at the table.

scotty plops down into lances chair, a giddy smile on his face that seemingly can’t be wiped away begs for details on your conversation.

“shouldn’t you be with your fiancée?”

he lets out a puff of air waving his hand in the air dismissing your concern, “come on, tell me, I saw you checking him out.” he playful presses his hands against your arm giving you a little shove, “he’s into you, I can tell.”

it’s your turn to let out a puff of air and shake your head. Scotty can you read just like Chloe can, it’s an ability of his he’s picked up, and he knows right now you’re flustered, but you may have some feelings for Lance coming through.

“I’m rooting for this. go get ‘em.” Scotty gets out of lances chair, he kindly pushes Lance inward toward the table and is whisked off by a family member asking for a photo. he glances over his shoulder to send you a wink that, luckily, goes unnoticed by Lance.

“can you believe tomorrow is the wedding?” you look over at lance. you hadn’t heard much from the grooms side about the wedding, you’d only paid attention to Chloe’s needs and wishes, but you’re sure things were much more calm on the other end.

“it seems like just yesterday Daniel was introducing Scotty to Chloe.” he leans back into his chair, his eyes glance over at you for a second, and he takes the chance to very obviously scan you up and down. he notices how your dress clings to your curves and hips, he likes how they dip right before your pelvis line. he could see his fingers easily tracing the outline of your body.

“Lance, stop eye fucking me.”

his cheeks flush red as he takes a sip of the red wine in his glass, “it’s hard not to, you’re beautiful.”

you roll your eyes. you remember he was the same guy who made fun of your stomach when you were pre-teens. what was his obsession with thick thighs and beautiful curves now? maybe a change of heart? you’re hoping it’s that, because you can’t help but acknowledge the pulsating rhythm in your center.

you look over into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, his fingers are rubbing over the rim of the wine glass that’s now empty. he takes the opportunity first to break the rather uncomfortable silenced you’d fallen into, “so what did you hate about me when we were kids?”

you can’t help but chuckle, it just was a response you couldn’t help before you finally tell him, “you were a prick and might I add annoying.”

he places a hand over his heart, “a prick?! you were little miss tattle-tail! I couldn’t do anything without getting in trouble.”

it’s your turn for your cheeks to flush red. you spent most of your childhood mad at Lance for how he treated you that you took up tattling his bad behavior to his parents. you’re not proud of it, but he needed to be put into check more often than not.

“yeah I’m not proud of that, I’m sorry.”

“all is forgiven, I needed it anyway. you kept me in check all summer.”

“maybe that’s why Chloe hired me as your date, to keep you in check during the wedding.” you send him a wink that makes him throw his head back. you get a peak of his chain that’s tucked well under his dress shirt, you can make out the silver ridges.

“with you around, I’ll be misbehaving. I’ll need a good punishment.” he licks his bottom lips, his eyebrows lift upwards before settling back into their place. you know exactly what’s on his mind, you know the punishment well before you can speak it.

“I’ll try my best.” your shaky hands reach for your wine glass and do your best to show you’re grounded, but the throbbing and butterflies in your pussy sure are there to remind you otherwise.

—

the knock on the closed wood door is followed by the familiar voice of last night, “it’s just me, Lance! can I come in?” he calls from behind the door.

one of the other bridesmaids rushes up from her spot on the couch and is quick to open the door slowly before allowing Lance all the way inside. “tight security you run around here.” he jokes making Chloe roll her eyes.

you watch Lance move across the room from where you’re seated, and if you’re being totally honest so does about half the other bridesmaids. you can’t help but feel a little jealous watching some of them nearly fan themselves over his beauty.

“you look beautiful, we should go take pictures.” Lance gestures to the other end of the room where multiple camera men are situated. they haven’t stopped taking pictures since she stepped in her dress, and you can’t blame them. Chloe looks stunning.

“when did Lance get hot?” one of them asks in a hushed voice, she’s practically undressing him with her eyes, and you’re sure Lance noticed by the way he turns his back towards the group of you all.

but he takes another glance over his shoulder.

his eyes land on you, a wink sent your way that had all the other girls fighting for his attention. you knew the wink wasn’t for them, it was for you. while he made it his mission to see Chloe, his eyes did take the chance to scan you in the beautiful caramel colored dress. he can’t wait for that dress to be on the floor of his hotel room.

chloe comes over to the couch, she takes your hands in here and guides you up off of the cushions, “come on my dad will love it if we have a picture of all of us!” she leads you to where the cameras are, and situates you beside lance. his arm carefully wraps around your lower half, hand gripping your hip, his thumb caresses the dips he was eyeing all last night.

you just smile. you can feel the butterflies and warmth fill your chest as his hand lingers behind your, fingers tapping along your backend. if it wasn’t for such a crowded space you would’ve taken Lance there, but you know he wants that punishment. he’s doing all he can to rile you up.

“beautiful!” chloe claps her hands together before running over to the cameras to look at the pictures, “you guys look so cute together! if anything ever happens you have to thank Scotty and I.”

—

“blue is your color.”

“what are you doing in here?” you whip around, arms covering your exposed breasts. you’d barely gotten the dress to zip leaving the top part of your chest exposed.

“turn around,” he gestures and you hesitantly do so. he moves your hair out of the way and carefully zips the rest of your dress up. you feel your breath caught in your lungs, he’s got one hand on your hip, the other rested against your back. you can feel his hot breath against your neck, chills are constantly running down your spine.

“did I ever tell you, how beautiful you looked tonight?”

you shake your head. looking up at him in the mirror, your eyes catch each others. his hand that’s rested against your hip moves across your stomach, his fingers pull up the tight material of your dress to reveal the lacy panties, “every part of you,” he whispers down your neck, his lips dangerously close, “is fucking beautiful.”

your body leans backwards against his. you can feel his hardness against your butt. your head leans back against his shoulder, lips press a soft tender kiss against his jawline, “please,” you whisper a beg that has him letting go of your body. he moves across the room to lock the bathroom door, it’s just you two now.

“what do you want from me? vocalize it.”

the words get stuck in your throat. your left staring at Lance bug eyed while his fingers work underneath your panties. his finger gently runs across your folds, he picks up on the moisture making him chuckle, “who’s all this for?” he whispers in your ear, his breath once again sending a wave of chills down your spine.

“you.” you breathe out feeling your knees weaken at his touch, your body collapses against his chest. once again, you feel his hardness against your backend.

his finger slips inside your entrance, a throaty whine exits your lips that he covers with his hand, “quiet.” he hisses. his finger is long, taking deep strokes you can feel him in your center.

he adds another finger stretching you out. another whine comes from your lips that is masked by lances hand.

“I think the devil sent you as my punishment. there’s no reason for you to walk around like you are.” he pulls his fingers out, pushing your body against the edge of the sink. your fingers are gripping the surface, basically white knuckled waiting for him to unzip his pants.

his palms rest against your ass cheeks giving them a squeeze, you’re not sure when it happened but you noticed you were bare. he had ripped your panties right off from underneath you.

“fuck you,” you mutter to yourself. you feel his tip before all of him inside of you. his fingernails are dug into the skin of your ass, he moves slow, you can feel those same fingers move to grip your hips, he’s guiding your body while his strokes become more sporadic and wild.

you can feel the tears brim your eyes, vision of your white knuckles become a blur while he rams into your clit more than a couple of times earning choked moans. he finds it sexy that you can’t hold it in, he goes in again just to hear that sweet sound one more time.

“fuck, you kill me.” he pulls out, and you can hear him zipping up his pants. he helps you stand up straight, a devilish smile on his lips you want to kiss right off his mouth.

you adjust the blue silk against your body, your panties were discarded on the floor, and no longer needed. you were ready to toss them in the trash when you turn around to Lance, you remove his handkerchief from the pocket of his jacket and replace your lace with it, “now you have your something blue.”

“you kill me just like you did then and now.”

a smirk forms against your lips before you press a kiss to his cheek, “come on, lancey I want to dance.”

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee

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[iexistforidkwhatreason]

My experience with Lumii/HoneyStarlightz/Lumiidere/Lumii after dark/KiramekiCookie

I have to get this out of my system because I'm deadass tired of watching this person wander around as if they're innocent when they aren't, and I'm also annoyed because of people not noticing what this person does behind the scenes because it now takes one quick Google Search using the prompt "Luca Wii Sports" to go down the rabbit hole. This is about HoneyStarlightz/Lumii.

Lemme begin with the minor stuff. So you know how Lumii has a massive grudge against me because of most of, if not all the stuff I drew in my DeviantArt account? Almost everything there was drawn when I was a FUCKING MINOR. I am 20 years old as we speak, and most of the drawings Lumii mentions happened BEFORE MY 18TH BIRTHDAY on the 1st of December, 2021, and I'll admit, during most of that time, I was a dumbass, immature, and an edgelord. I then stopped posting anything bloody and/or revealing but continued to post harmless drawings before my 18th birthday happened. October 11th of last year was when I stopped posting on that account all together because I found out that DeviantArt was blaming Hamas and Hamas only for the Palestinian deaths and making it as if the Israel military didn't do a thing to innocent lives in Palestine after Hamas attacked.

Next, we have them making me look like an asshole for shipping Luca with Abby (The one shipart I made of the two apparently traumatized them). Back when I was 17, I decided to draw Abby and Luca, two Miis I'm not a fan of, nor close to, as a couple because I thought shipping the two was a good idea. I then posted the finished product on the 23rd of January, 2021. The drawing was not meant to traumatize anyone. It was JUST. SHIP. ART. OF. ABBY. &. LUCA. The only bad thing about that drawing was that I shoved my opinion of the two Miis down people's throats in the description by asking how the hell do people like them because to me, they're just not fun to play against at all, and even then, it was drawn three to four years ago, and I don't even ship the two anymore. I ship Abby with Wii U Barbara now. Mate, I didn't even know Lumii EXISTED back then, let alone know they had a massive love for Luca.

Next, there's the clear as day hipocrisy that people have yet to notice somehow. So you know how Lumii has "Opinion Bashers" on their DNI list, right? On that same list, they also have people that hate, despise, even dislike Luca, instantly making them a hypocrite because they said they don't want to interact with people who just cannot tolerate others having a different opinion while also saying that if you think Luca is not a good Mii, you're instantly on their shit list. Also, they said no exceptions, meaning you can be the nicest person in the world, but if you dislike Luca, go fuck yourself.

I have several friends that like Luca a lot, some of which are here on Tumblr. I do not like Luca. We get along perfectly fine. I don't understand why they feel like Luca haters and Luca lovers can't co-exist when they clearly can. Just don't be an ass to others when it comes to what you think of the character, mate.

Lastly, we have the fact that they cannot take criticism. They said criticism is prohibited on their DeviantArt profile, which means that you can say anything positive about their art, but if you say anything negative, then nope. Get out. Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you a harmless critique that was just saying what I didn't like and how you can improve. I apologize.

Seriously tho, how sensitive can you be to the point where you prohibit people from critiquing your work? Or is it that they can't criticize you? Or is it both?

Now we go to the bigger stuff, starting with the TRANSPHOBIA ACCUSATIONS and obvious delusion. They said, and I quote "please shut the fuck up for calling him "Lucapoopa", "Boring", "Annoying", "Scum" and "Tedious" for the love of fucking god, he's fucking overhated and y'all are too harsh and transphobic at him, fucking hell".

Luca is not canonically trans. Don't even say he is because of unused data because I did my research, and the only unused data he has is facial hair related. Don't get me wrong, Luca being trans is a HC that I'm completely fine with. If you want to headcanon him as trans, fine by me. Trans rights all the way, mate. Don't fucking call people transphobic just for disliking Luca tho! Luca is not canonically trans, and even if he was, bold of Lumii to assume that someone that hates Luca hates him because he's trans. He appears as an opponent in three games and there's a chance that he might piss you off in all three.

How delusional do you have to be to see someone hate a character that isn't trans outside of your HC and go "Oh, they're transphobic"?

Next, there's fullblown insensitivity. I decided to check on DeviantArt for something, and I get a DM from someone. We had a chat about Lumii, and in that chat, they showed this...

Can you spot the insensitive part? Here, I'll make it easier for ya.

I'm completely fine with people giving dark backstories to Miis in their HC, but there's a line, and you crossed it. Can we not do rape related headcanons, please? I feel like that should go without saying because, oh, I dunno, that shit is OBVIOUSLY IN BAD TASTE!

Lastly, there's something I cannot show here because if I do, I'm going to get in trouble... It has to do with porn...

Lumii has a total of three accounts that I bumped into while looking at Luca images on Google that have porn of Miis on them. They have a Newgrounds account (KiramekiCookie), which has two drawings of Luca porn, a Bluesky account (Lumii after dark), which has twelve, and a Twitter/X account with the same name, which not only has porn of Luca, but of other Miis too... AND THERE'S AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF IT, MOST OF IT BEING LUCA PORN! TELL ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED WITH OUT TELLING ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED!

I make YOU uncomfortable, Lumii? I make YOU uncomfortable?! You drew Luca laying eggs, you drew a worrying amount of Luca porn, and yet you have the AUDACITY to say I make YOU uncomfortable when you're obviously worse, you fucking hypocrite?! You drew art that is bound to make several people uncomfortable the moment they see it on the THREE ACCOUNTS you have, you falsely accuse people of transphobia, you obssess over Luca an unhealthy and uncomfortable amount, and yet I'M the one in the wrong because I drew ship art of Luca and Abby and art that has blood on it years ago?! I don't get your logic!

BTW, for those who say that this could've been resolved privately, it couldn't because Lumii has blocked me on DeviantArt, and they also blocked me on an old Tumblr account of theirs too, meaning that talking to them was out of the fucking question. They CLEARLY did not want to talk it out. They just wanted to avoid me entirely while also antagonize me for shit I did years ago that wasn't even that bad compared to the crap they did.

Lumii, if you manage to see this, which I know you will because I know you have a Discord and I know someone's gonna send a screenshot to you on there... All of this could've been avoided had you just been a better person.

[shisnhou]

kill gojo

pairing: gojo x gn! reader

cw: toxic exes, toxic relationship, unhealthy obsession with one another, hints at cheating, do tell me if a missed any!

wc: 1.08

you're at the brink of your sanity.

and it's all because of your ex boyfriend who is insane himself.

you two have been broken up for eight months— nearly nine. the break up was not your idea. if anything, it was one thing you didn't even think about. you were more than ready to kill for him, to be his ride or die, to be everything and anything he wanted you to be. you used to have an obssesion with having him in your hands and any kind of separation made your heart beat in worry.

when you two broke up, it felt like you were going to split the world in half. the insanity was getting inside your head, the break up felt like the end of the world. you still chased after him since he was everything you knew and you had, but he threw you away and simply looked at you with disgusted eyes before he slamed the doors before your very eyes.

but after a few weeks of words from getou and a load of night outs with shoko, you brought yourself back in no time. you healed and forgot, you forgave for some reason despite holding every single grudge against him and his girls, and now you are thriving in a better environment.

the break up scarred you badly and you want nothing but to be free from all that hurt and anger.

you truly thought you could leave and make him a mere fragment of your memory.

that's laughable, gojo says.

"what the fuck, gojo?" you screech, kicking the door of his expensive sports car, denting the metal with your shoes. but gojo could care less about the dent, he can get his car repaired tomorrow, buy a new one even. the only thing he's thinking about is why you're so pissed at him. "why would you fucking punch him like that?" 

gojo zones out for a second. he looks at the dent and forgets that you are trying to lecture him about punching your excuse of a date- which he thinks is pointless. why would you argue with him when all he did was do the right thing? 

the right thing? what is it? oh, it's not a big deal. he just punched your date in the face because the man placed his hand around your waist without asking which caught you off guard. not that it made you felt uncomfortable, you were just surprised, you actually liked it, but gojo thought thinks that it's a mortal sin for another man to touch you, so he sent the man a punch to the face.

"he touched you." he deadpans, holding an expression that will make you lose your mind.

"okay, so what if he did? what does that have to do with anything?" you roll your eyes digging your nails into your scalp and trying to scratch the unscratchable itch inside your brain that's caused by your ex that's standing before you.

he does this all the time and you wish that you could just catch a breath.

"you're fucking insane." you mutter underneath your breath.

gojo laughs at that. he looks at you with his blue eyes piercing deep into your own, causing a shiver down your spine. "i can't believe that you're the one saying that." he smirks, brows raising, finger moving to tip your chin. "you were chasing me around nine months ago, hunting down girls i went around with, even after we broke up."

you scoff, wrapping your hand around his wrist and bringing it down. "i did." you proudly say. "you know why? because i didn't understand why we even broke up in the first place. i did nothing. infact, i did everything you wanted me to do, so imagine what position i was in when you abruptly left with a fucking text talking about how i'm too much for you." 

he says nothing back, simply watching you point all the arrows at him. it's clear to him that you want nothing to do with him anymore, but god that's too hard for him to bear.

truth be told, gojo doesn't even know why he broke up in the first place. he though  you were too much for him, but now that he's the one chasing you around after months after the break up, he wonders if was clinically insane.

"well, that was in the past. i'm here now! i'm here, right in-front of you." he opens his arms wide, as if to engulf you in a hug. to his dismay, you simply glare at him, unimpressed by his act. 

gojo heaves a deep sigh, putting his hands back down. "look, i know i made a grave mistake by breaking up with you. that was uncalled for. we both didn't need that." the glimmer in his eyes make you want to believe him, but you mentally shake your head, refusing to fall for his act. "being far away from you was a pain and i admit having you chase me around sucked. yet when you stopped chasing after me, i felt like i lost a piece of me—"

at that sentence you moved away from him, taking a step back and showing him your disgusted expression. "i can't fucking believe you. you fucking disgust me." you seethe, glowering at him and shaking your head. "i thought that you maybe changed, and you did, but for the worse. god, gojo, i really thought we could make ammends, but you make me want to walk away and forget you forever."

at your words gojo's brows furrow. you say nothing else, simply turning your back and walking away. but before you're able to walk a mere step away, he grabs your wrist. you're forced to halt, preparing a rally of words to tell him. but your literacy slips away when your eyes meet his dangerous ones.

"walk away and forget forever? you can't do that." he darkly whispers, smiling as if his intentions were innocent. "you can't have anyone else. i might love seeing you smile, but if it's with someone else it's going to be a problem. any other man with you is going to be a problem. a very big problem." 

the hold on your wrist becomes loose, but in return, his hand cups your cheek and forces proximity between you both. "i'm a mature man, but you drive me insane. if any other man tries to have you they can't.. because if i can't have you, nobody can."

this is not made to fantasize toxic relationship in any way shape or form. if you or someone you know needs help getting away from a toxic relationship, please contact local authorities.

[microcosmicheart]

What Is It Time To Let Go Of? + Advice

A little tough love ahead.

1 2 3 4

Pile 1

For you Pile 1, it’s time to let go of your current position.

I see you here holding tightly to something you have worked extremely hard to gain. Could be a job or title at work. You may have started on a shakier foundation or at a disadvantage while working towards this thing.

Yet now, you’re here, you love it and it’s yours, but you're starting to crave more and don't know what to do with yourself. You may not even be completely aware of your craving for more and in turn, you're harming others by doing what you know best: protecting your territory.

It’s time to let go of this. It’s okay to want and work for more.

Advice

Your advice is literally to leave this all behind. Set your sights on something new. Understand it's okay to fall out of love with people, places and things.

If you're scared, remember you were scared when you first started and you made it anyway.

I love you, Godspeed

Pile 2

Pile 2 listen and listen well.

It's time for you to stop using mfs.

You have MAJOR control issues and paired with your genius mind, you set things up to have it all running “smoothly”. You may use your attractiveness or overall likeability to have others do things for you.

You also may have a crazy unforgiveness streak. Like you may be the type of person to take a grudge to the grave and this is another thing you need to let go of.

Advice

For your advice, I’m going to speak candidly. 

You need to learn how to turn your gift of manipulation into something helpful, not only for others and for the fact that you're harming people when you use them, but especially for yourself. Turn your sights inward.

“Using your powers for good” if you will.

You're literally receiving this message because you’re ready to be made aware of it if you haven't already, but if you know about it this may be your ‘final warning’.

You have a beautiful mind, big aspirations and amazing gifts. You do NOT have to be a bitch to get what you want!

I love you. Fix it.

Pile 3

My beloved pile 3 🙁

At first I was very 🤨 towards your pile because the message didn't seem to want to come through but I see now that it’s being obstructed. Willful ignorance if you will.

I'm going to be straight up with you and tell you: that mentor/coach? They're using you and you know it.

WAIT DONT LEAVE YET HEAR ME OUT.

I know, I get it, I really do. This sport, this club, this group has given you a major opportunity and still is! You’ve also grown to love your teammates and may even look up to this mentor/coach, but it's time to let this cycle of your story go.

For some of you, you may even view this mentor/coach as a stand-in for an important figure who was and is currently supposed to be in your life, but that figure made their choice or had it made for them and they're not here.

But I'd like to remind you that keeping someone around who you've noticed is using you or keeping you from opportunities and telling yourself they're ‘doing it for your own good’ aint it. (It's also a form of settling.)

Advice

Your advice is literally to let this die. It's time to let it go.

I'm sensing you have offers and opportunities elsewhere and just haven't taken them. Let me remind you, if you're good at it here, you'll still be good at it there. (Also, don't worry about it being a Heat to Cavaliers situation. Lebron is ALRIGHT.)

I love you, please do what you need to do, and I can't wait to see you on tv!

Pile 4

PILE 4 COME HERE.

You are entirely too old to be acting the way you are and you KNOW it. It's time for you to get a grip and let all that childish shit go.

I'm talking about the lack of responsibility, them mean ass “jokes”, and the shit you're messing with others for that are just projections of your own personal wounds.

What is up with you? And be fuckin honest. Is it fear of adulthood? Fear of leaving your home behind? Are you afraid you won’t have as much fun if you act your age?

Whatever it is think about it. Sit with it.

Advice

Your advice? GET YO ASS UP!

Listen to me when I say, being stuck at 13,14,15 when you’re 36? Not cool.

And on the flipside, if you had that much fun as a kid, imagine everything and everyone out there waiting for you! People that have had the same problem and that are going to conquer it just like you are.

(Also, some of yall is stessin yo momma out fr 💀)

Get yo shit together my love. Fr.

[not-that-syndrigast]

Driver line ups.

Every year a new there's the traumatizing silly season and every year a new people are complaining and not understanding why certain drivers get signed with certain teams. There’s many thoughts to have over this and with the help of my autism and the horrendous lists i made to compare all the data, here’s the driver line up strategies of the teams and my guess on silly season.

Upfront, a few notes; it’s difficult to compare all the teams because certain teams like Ferrari have decades of knowledge on driver line ups, legacy and money while teams like Haas need to build all that first. Furthermore, team strategies change quite drastically and get influenced by changes in team principals and intern problems the public may not be as aware of, so you are not only allowed but also asked to question anything i say here and comment your own ideas. These are mainly my observations and guesses.

Considering influences, I would like to start with Mercedes. One thing that has been big with the winning teams forever, is their strategy to ‘build’ their drivers and teams. Every team wants to sign drivers for a long time period, because it's easier to win if the team knows each other, plus it's better to have younger drivers because they are more likely to stay with the team and that's how you get drivers like Lewis Hamilton at Mercedes for eleven seasons. Another thing about Mercedes is the fact that they do not take rookies, usually. They take young drivers that have shown to be good with another team and try to keep them for long and since they are generally considered a winning team, they don't have to fear not finding a good second driver (well, they had). This is also the reason why I doubt that they’ll sign Antonelli; pretty likely to see drivers like Tsunoda, if he shows more good results. A few months back I would have said Albon, but many people didn't want that because they feared a repeat. Whoever thought brocedes wouldn’t be brought up here underestimates their influence on the sport. I'm not even talking about all the PR-drama, but the way they almost ruined the team with their crashing into each other, aggressive fighting and miscommunication in the team. It was expensive, stupid and no team wants to deal with that drama, which is why we come to Redbull now;

Red Bull signed Perez for peace. With Webber and Vettel back in the day, they know how teammate rivalries can ruin the team and they want to avoid that, so their bet for the past few years has been; have an outstanding good driver as driver number one, let him win and make all the points and get a solid second driver. Perez is not good enough to become a serious threat to Verstappen, but he also seems to not hold a grudge at that, which works perfectly for Redbull. Sure, they could have signed Sainz, but if you look at Ferrari right now, he tends to drive too aggressively, crash, and redbull does not want to afford that drama, can’t get points if your teammates crash each other out. Another tactic of redbull is the junior team. Redbull doesn’t take rookies either, they go to torro rosso/alpha tauri/RB or whatever they call themselves now and then get upgraded to redbull.

The whole tactic of torro rosso/alpha tauri/RB is the following; get a good rookie driver, let him drive for a year and if he seems to be good, put him into redbull. If he’s bad, drop him. Many young drivers only drove a season at Torro Rosso and were instantly dropped and couldn’t find a new seat, at least that used to be the strategy until they rebranded to alpha tauri first and now Visa cash app RB (i think). Right now, they are more on track to really become their own team. With multiple seasons Ricciardo and Tsunoda, these guys are used to the team, but it poses a problem, because Tsunoda didn’t sign up to build this team; he had assumed to be bumped up to redbull, but since that seat is filled and he doesn’t seem to be able to outperform Verstappen, he’ll leave and RB will be back on their rookie-traumatizing track, probably with Liam Lawson.

A team that does NOT care and just simply decides to not think that much, is Ferrari. Also nicknamed the retirement home for world championship winners, they once again decide to ignore all redflags. Who can blame them, red is their favorite color? Just like all the other good teams, they try to build their teams, only that they are a bit too prestigious in certain cases and usually don’t take rookies, or even younger drivers. They want the best, but Ferrari has been really inconsistent in recent years, so no one who seriously contests for a WDC wants to sign with them if they are already in a good team. They don’t care though, they sign good drivers even if they risk everything by that. It's clear by signing Hamilton; Leclerc is too media trained to say anything mean about Hamilton when they unavoidably crash next year, but they will try to beat each other up behind the garages, probably. It's a difficult situation, deciding which of them gets preferred when it comes to strategy, but if you look at current Ferrari situations, that doesn't bother them. Questionably, when Vaseur needs to mention he has to hold Leclerc and Sainz back from murdering each other, but it's been like this for decades in Ferrari and maybe they hope all the angst will bring out more desperation for wins? I probably will never understand them.

Next big team on our list; McLaren. You should know about me, I love McLaren. Well, that's a lie, I love their drivers and design but I absolutely loathe their team principal and whoever had the idea for their horrendous drivers line up. One of the few things i do respect about their team is the fact that they actually take rookies; they try to build up their teams and they aren't afraid to invest in rookies, as you can see with Lewis Hamilton and Lando Norris, but one thing that i absolutely hate about them is their obvious favorite child behavior. To put it clear; if it wasn't a rule, McLaren wouldn't have a second driver. Their line up strategy is basically; ‘let's get a very bright young man as a first driver, build his whole career, get him long contracts, get him his own show whatever. Oh, we need a second driver? Yeah, let's adopt that bastard over there’. The favoritism is actually insane, which is why the second driver often gets replaced pretty fast, but with them signing Piastri, a second rookie, we could see a slight change in their behavior; sure, he wasn't as sponsored by McLaren as Hamilton or Norris were, but it seems clear to me that different than Sainz or Ricciardo he also almost gets the first driver treatment; he’s young and perfect to build the team so they will try to keep him as long as possible, thus having both drivers in their line up actually building up the team, plus they are young, very good and seem less likely to get all too dramatic; maybe one of the reasons they signed Piastri, but i'm not quite convinced it'll stay this way.

Williams is interesting, by their history they should be one of the top teams but they look more like one of the worst teams right now. Williams is sort of Mercedes junior team, they take the rookies for Mercedes which is why I was surprised Albon didn’t go to Mercedes, but as of now it seems that they will keep their rookie program up, so my guess for the future is that they will drop Sargeant and instead focus on building up another rookie like Kimi Antonelli for Mercedes.

Haas is interesting because they are so new, but from the last few years it's pretty clear they also try to build up their team with Magnussen but they struggle with that, since different than the big teams, drivers generally don't want to commit to them and so their team is rather filled with rookies or other drivers that seek to prove themselves in a bad team in hopes of getting signed by one of the actually winning teams, best example for that is Bearman where it’s already clear that if he proves himself he will have good chances for a seat at Ferrari in a few years and who would choose Haas over Ferrari? Haas also cannot afford to get a former good driver and most experienced drivers don't want to stay at Haas, as long as they have better chances elsewhere, so they’ll only sign short contracts considering the Sainz rumors. I think we will most likely see a Magnussen and Bearman line up in the next few seasons and either they manage to proof the team and become a midfield team like Aston Martin or they will slowly turn into the junior team for Ferrari

For alpine, Stake and Aston martin i'm not so sure. These teams went through loads of rebrandings, switches in the team principals and those positions in the last years that i can only guess that they try to copy the winning teams’ strategies but end with a similar fate to Haas, but personally i have to admit i do prefer it this way, since it leaves more spaces open for young drivers, these teams are usually filled with either rookies or drivers that are driving their last seasons before retirement because no other team wants to sign them, it's a good way for younger drivers to get into F1 without being under the insane pressure that teams like torro rosso used to put on their new drivers who knew they'd be kicked if they didn't perform in a season; in these teams, there's more learning from experienced drivers and i assume we could maybe see these teams work their way up in the course of a few years, but for the next season there will maybe be switches between these teams when it comes to drivers but i also have high hopes to see some rookies on here.

In the end, I also have quite a few thoughts on the drivers. We need to focus on new drivers, rookies, because these are getting quite interesting. The current F1 grid is pretty old. I know it’s been a problem for many years, having less rookies, but not a single rookies this season? Come on, and we are at fear of not getting a new rookie for ‘25 either! With F1 becoming more and more expensive it becomes almost impossible to get into F1, no matter how good you are, because signing a rookie is expensive. Let’s compare drivers here; many people are mad about Red Bull signing Checo again, but they underestimate how cheap he is if you compare him to any possible rookie. Sure, Checo gets paid a lot, but he also brings in sponsors and a bunch of merchandise sales; the people love him, you can sell merchandise with him and you don’t need to invest in interviews or whatever to make people like him, he's already popular. Furthermore, he doesn’t need to get accustomed to the car. Yes, he sometimes finishes badly, but it's still a safer call than getting in a rookie that would fail most of his first races because these guys are not accustomed to F1 cars; there's barely any training today, especially if you compare it to years ago. I’m currently reading Lewis Hamilton's biography so I can take him as an example; it's mentioned how much he was able to test the McLaren before his first race, sp obviously he was already used to the car and thus able to have a great first season, while rookies now just get thrown into the cold water. I would argue the teams are also trying to get too young drivers too. If Mercedes really signs Kimi Antonelli you’ll see him crash next year, that boy is barely used to the F2 cars! We all know they try to build their drivers for many seasons, look at Hamilton, but most of the young drivers lack so much experience! Look at Sargeant, a few more years in F2 would have done wonders for him. And i get it, they want to break Max’ and Redbulls records, get the youngest drivers and the next big story but this whole thing is just fucked up. That’s another post though.

On the other hand, F2 comes more and more into focus so I think in the following years we will see more F2 drivers getting big sponsors so the money isn’t that big of a problem anymore. But that’s also for another post!

[five-rivers]

Danger First Chapter 14

Wow! It's been a while!

.

"So, Midoriya," said Ms. Kayama, "putting together anything special for the Athlete's Oath?"

Izuku looked up from what was shaping up to be a fairly in-depth analysis of the second event of a sports festival that had occurred about a dozen years ago, a sense of dread pooling in his gut.  "What?"

Ms. Kayama smiled, brows pinching together just a smidge.  "The Athlete's Oath.  You were the top scorer on the entrance exam, weren't you?  I didn't get you confused with someone else, did I?"

"Oh, no," said Izuku, as he finally managed to put Ms. Kayama's question together with facts he'd known for years.  "I forgot the Athlete's Oath."

.

"Athlete's Oath?" repeated Yoichi.  "What's the Athlete's Oath?  Was it something Eighth had to do?  Nana, do you know?"

Nana raised an eyebrow.  "I was under the impression that all of you were here when Toshinori went here."

"Yeah," said En, "but that was about a hundred years ago."

"It was not," said Hikage.  

"It was just as long ago for me."

"Sure, but he was your kid," said Yoichi.  “Everyone remembers their kid better."

Nana made a face.  She… couldn't actually dispute that.  All these years later, she could still remember things like Kotaro's first day of school with blinding clarity. 

… and Toshinori's first day at UA, for that matter.  

"It's just a little… not a speech.  A recitation.  Just a few lines about playing fair and trying your best.  Used to be the top student of the third years would do it, but I guess they must have the top students for the first and second years do it as well, now that they're televised as well."

"Is Izuku the top student, then?" asked Yoichi.  

"The only test they've had is the entrance exam," said En with a shrug.  "Ninth got top in that, so…"

"And so, Eighth's bribery has led to Ninth's downfall," said Banjo in a falsely serious tone.  

"He didn't bribe anyone!"

"Izuku got in on his own merits!"

"Jeez, you guys can't take a joke."

Nana huffed.  "I just don't understand why they're so excited about it.  It's just a tiny thing.  You can read it from a little card."

.

As always, Izuku’s first resort was research.  He searched HeroTube for compilations of the most recent UA Athlete’s Oaths, and hit play.  

He watched the videos, chewing his lip.  There was just so much to do, so much to say–  How could he capture the spirit of Plus Ultra competition, his will to win and everyone else’s, the honor of competing, the honor of speaking for his entire year, all in only a few minutes?  In only a couple days, too.  

And without stuttering.  

He was going to die.  

No, no.  That was the wrong mindset entirely for a UA student with a shiny new hero name, much less All Might’s successor!  He could do this!  He would do this!  

He’d just… break down into tears a few times first.  

.

Nana felt eyes boring into the back of his head.

“Just a thing you can read from the back of a card?” asked Yoichi.  “This guy’s been talking for ten full minutes, and I don’t think he’s going to stop anytime soon!”

“I can feel you all judging me,” said Nana, “but I’ve been dead for decades.  It’s changed.  That happens.”

“You don’t have to feel me judging you, I’m doing it out loud.”

.

Izuku stared down at the pages and pages of repeatedly crossed out lines.  

“I don’t know why I thought I could do this,” he whispered.  “I couldn’t even come up with a hero name on my own.”

.

“This really isn’t a big deal.”

“It’s a huge deal!  Do you know how dangerous public speaking is?”

Nana turned to squint at Yoichi.  “When did you ever do public speaking?”

“Probably about the same time he went to school,” said En.  

“I did go to school!  Why will you not let that go?”

“Bizarre petty grudges and jokes are pretty much the only thing we can hold onto,” said En.  “That and the quirk.”

“Seriously, though, this isn’t going to kill him.”

“It isn’t?  What happens when my brother sees him on TV?  Speaking for the hero class?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Banjo.  “That’s a thing.”

Yoichi threw up his hands.  “How did you guys forget?”

“I didn’t forget,” said Hikage.  

.

“Maybe I should ask Dad,” said Izuku.  “He probably talks to lots of people for his work…”

.

“No!” screamed all of the ghosts.  

.

“That's different than public speaking, though, isn't it?”  He let his head drop onto his open notebook, heedless of the ink and graphite getting on his face.  “At least it's only the first year speech.”

He sat up with renewed energy.

“And there's no way it’ll be worse than Endeavor's!”

.

“That's the spirit!” cheered Nana.  

“I thought we were the spirits,” said Hikage.  

“It's just an expression.”

“Are we spirits, though?” asked En.  

Banjo groaned.  “Please, kid, don't start on that again.”

.

Kaminari waved furiously from across the field as the purple-haired boy next to him did his best to hunch into his uniform and disappear.  Far behind them, Snipe sat reading a paperback novel.  “Hey!  Welcome to our awesome training montage!”

“You can't have a montage in real life,” said Jiro.  

“Watch me!” 

.

Once everyone arrived, Iida started chivying them all into a loose circle.  Well, Izuku reflected, Iida obviously wanted them in an exact circle but… even Izuku could see that was never going to happen. Then Iida cleared his throat portentously and Yaoyorozu stepped into the center.

“Thank you for coming, everyone,” she said.  “Especially those of you who aren't in 1-A, we understand this is a leap of faith, and what we're doing here is a little radical.  For today, our goals are for everyone to get to know each other and to start working out strategic teams.  So, let's start by just introducing ourselves.  I'll go first…”

.

The purple-haired boy was named Shinsou Hitoshi, and he had thus far been very reticent about his quirk. About talking at all, really, which was interesting, given his attempt at a declaration of war earlier. 

Interesting, not strange.  In a similar position of not-quite-enmity, Izuku would probably be on the lookout for potential weaknesses, too.  As long as Shinsou waited until the third event, though, that was fine.  It wasn't as if everyone in class 1-A didn't know each others’ quirks already.

That was all a very uncharitable way of thinking about Shinsou, though, and Izuku felt a little guilty thinking about things like that.  He wanted to become a hero, too.  

.

“Alright,” said Yaoyorozu, “now, remember, the first event is the elimination event.  Our researchers say we'll probably be racing, competing for some limited resource, or trying to avoid being tagged out in some way.  Even with the teachers trying to be unpredictable, the number of students does limit them.  All of the events we've been able to brainstorm favor mobility, so you want to be in a group that you can move well with. Defense is important, too.  Bakugou, at minimum, is a problem, and we have to assume the other classes will target us.”

“Bakugou's the crazy guy who chased Midoriya down at lunch the other day,” said Kaminari to Shinsou at a volume that was obviously meant to be a whisper, but fell far short of the mark.  

“He's not crazy,” protested Izuku.  “He's just.  Passionate.”

Everyone regarded him dubiously.  

.

Predictably, the groups initially split along lines of friendship, acquaintance, and obligation.  Yaoyorozu and Iida walked around for a while, trying to keep the groups more or less equal in size before settling into their own class leadership group, along with Monoma.

“A waltz of darkness and chaos,” muttered Tokoyami, barely getting out of the way of Satou, as his group, consisting of himself, Ojirou, Sero, and Hagakure, trundled towards a shadier spot.  

Hatsume laughed.  “If you think this is chaotic, wait until the sports festival!”

“She's right,” said Uraraka.  “So, Midoriya,  what do you think we should do?”

“Eh?  Me?”

“Your battle trial plan was quite impressive,” said Tokoyami.  “Your strategic acuity will cast a long shadow in the sports festival as well.”

“I don't know about that,” said Izuku.  But then he glanced at Monoma.  They probably only had about ten minutes left.  “I guess- I guess the most obvious thing is for us to be a rocket.”

.

“Ow,” said Uraraka, rubbing her head.  

“I think,” said Iida, also nursing several bruises, “we should have come up with a better way to steer before we tried that.  And brake.”

“Yeah… We did go fast, though.”

.

“But, Hatsume, your, um, your ba- your inventions–”

“Call ‘em my babies with your whole chest, grappling hook.”

“I think your babies would help any team, but that you'd do really well with Yaoyorozu.  And Uraraka and I should probably be on different teams, since we both have flight-capable quirks.  Even if we both have time-limit issues…”

“Aww,” said Uraraka, “you're probably right.  I was looking forward to working with you, though.”

“What about Fumi and me?  We can be on your team, right?” asked Dark Shadow.

Tokoyami ducked his head and tried to push Dark Shadow down.  “Don't ask questions like that.”

“I don't know if that'd be a good idea, since Bakugou's explosions can make a lot of light.”

“That just means we're destined to be arch-nemeses!”

.

Izuku sat down next to Hagakure, Aoyama, and Ashido. 

“Okay, Midori!” said Ashido.  “Come up with a super move for us!”

“I’m sure you will come up with something that sparkles,” said Aoyama.  

“Uh, um,” said Izuku, flustered.  “How about, um, Aoyama, is your laser just light?  Maybe it could go through Hagakure - if lasers going through you doesn’t hurt.”

“No, that’s one of the first things my quirk counselor tested,” said Hagakure.  “My parents wanted to make sure that all the light going through me wasn’t going to give me turbo cancer or something.  The real problem for me is that for me to do anything with my quirk, I’m going to have to be naked.  We have to wear our PE uniforms for the festival.”

“Oh, non,” said Aoyama.  “I’ve been given an allowance for my belt, surely they would give you one for your suit.  Anything else would be quite unfair.”

“Or you could ask Hatsume, see if she can make something for you that would work temporarily,” suggested Izuku.  “She’s really eager to work with everyone.  Or even just plastic clothing, from Yaoyorozu.”  They'd all have to be careful not to overtax Yaoyorozu, though.  Anything else would be unfair.  She had to save something for the final event.

“Okay, okay, okay, but what about super moves?” asked Ashido.  

“Or some things we can do during the event, anyway,” said Hagakure.

“Well, if you're with Aoyama, like I said, and his laser can go through you, that could be a really good way to get in a kind of sneak attack.  No one expects a person to be in the same area an attack just went through.”

.

“Lowest setting first, mademoiselle?” 

“Just hit me already, Twinkles!  I can take it!” shouted Hagakure from the other side of the field.  

 .

“Are- are you okay, Aoyama?” asked Izuku, after they'd tested Aoyama's laser on a number of settings.  

“Oh, oui, my quirk just upsets my stomach somewhat, you see.  And it seems as if Hagakure is, how should I say this, my natural enemy.”

.

(In truth, Aoyama was feeling ill, but not because of his quirk.  Rather, the problem was his quirk’s origin.  The man had demanded that Aoyama keep an eye on Midoriya - and, if possible, make him win the sports festival.  A minor thing, really!)

(If only Aoyama had the courage to defy the man.)

(He hoped Midoriya would be able to survive whatever All for One had planned for him.)

.

All for One sighed.  He wondered if he could find a good enough disguise quirk to take Izuku out for ice cream after he won the sports festival.  Or after he lost and was properly filled with hatred for hero society.

“Sensei?” said Ujiko.  “Are you alright?”

“No.  You're being incredibly boring.”

.

“Ashido, how acidic does your acid have to be?  And is it always the same substance, just at different concentrations, or can you make different substances, as long as they're acidic?”

“Um,” said Ashido.

.

“I think that's it for me, today,” said Ashido, sitting down.  “I'm going to have to drink, like, a dozen liters of Gatorade or something.  You're brutal for someone so cute, did you know that, Midori?”

“He'd have to be, to get through the entrance exam without using a physical quirk,” said Hagakure, dragging Ashido back up.  “Come on, we still have the gym for fifteen, and I want feedback.”

“You're both brutal.”

.

“Um,” said Izuku, sidling up to Shinsou, notebook in hand.  “Your quirk is a mind control type, right?”

Shinsou, scowled down at Izuku.  “It's Brainwashing,” he said, rather gruffly.

“Oh, wow, that's great.  Mind control quirks are actually perfect for hero work, but the stigma means hardly any heroes have one.  Like, you could stop a fight before it even started, or get villains to surrender right away, or help civilians who are too panicked to move properly, or heroes who are compromised, or who would otherwise have trouble cooperating with each other, for whatever reason.  It’s really too bad that the entrance exam is all robots.”

Shinsou stared at him.  

“Any- anyway, I've heard that some- some quirks can interact unexpectedly with mental quirks, and I've noticed you're not-  You don't seem to be using it, much, even though we have permission here, and…  Um.  Just saying, you can practice on me, if you'd like.”

“Oh!  Or me!” said Kaminari, popping up seemingly out of nowhere.  “We should test and see if you can get me when I'm in wheyyy mode, or Satou when he's powered up!”

“What does that even mean?” demanded Shinsou.  He allowed Kaminari to drag him on, however.  

“Oooooooh,” said Izuku, his plan to test out the ‘hallucination’ thing Mr. Yagi had explained all but forgotten.  “That's a great idea!  I'll take notes!”

.

“I know it's a little disappointing that we didn't get a chance to appear to Ninth,” said Nana, “but don't you think you're overdoing this a little?”

Yoichi rolled over so that he was face up in his Bog of Despair.  “No,” he said, before rolling back over.  

“Forget that,” said Third.  “Am I the only one at all disturbed by how he's picking apart all the other kids’ quirks?”

“Yes,” chorused the other ghosts.

.

Izuku stood at the classroom door for several blank minutes.  Where was everyone?  Did he… Get the date wrong?  No, there was enough security outside to defeat a small army.  Which was probably the point, come to think of it.  Was he late?  Had he missed the sports festival?  When he was the one giving the opening speech for the first years?  

Forget public humiliation, he was going to be expelled.  As soon as Mr. Aizawa saw him, he would–

“Midoriya, what are you doing here?  Why aren’t you in the prep room?” 

Izuku squeaked.  Then he registered what Mr. Aizawa had said.  “Prep room?” he repeated.  “Oh, yeah!  The prep room!  Thank you, Mr. Aizawa!”

.

Shouta sighed as his number one problem child scurried away.  How illogical…  But there would be time to work on his memory and situational awareness in the future, and it would be downright hypocritical to scold him about it now.  

He shuffled into the classroom, careful about his bandages, because he had just been scolded by Recovery Girl.  The lights buzzed when he turned them on, more obvious without the students there… although they did have competition from the roar of the crowds in the festival stadium.  

He walked over to his desk and knelt to retrieve his stash of jelly pouches, especially the coffee ones.  Which he also wasn’t supposed to have, but what Recovery Girl didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.  Or cause her to hurt him, which was the more pertinent issue from his perspective.  If he was going to survive announcing the first year’s festival by himself, he was going to need them.  

Now weighted down, he started hobbling back to the stadium and the announcer’s box. Jelly was heavy, as it turned out.  

Recovery Girl really would kill him if she found out.  He sped up.  Not a lot.  Just a little.  Just in case.  He certainly wasn’t moving as fast as Midoriya had.

He made his way through staff passages, avoiding most of the crowds and pleasantly nodding to heroes who had been asked to come serve as security.  Finally, and in good time, too, because his stupid injured body was starting to get winded, he reached the announcer’s box and opened the door.  

“Yagi,” said Shouta, “what are you doing here?”  He shook off the sense of deja vu.

“Oh,” said Yagi, brightly.  “Young Aizawa!  I was getting worried that something had happened to you.  Principal Nezu thought that you could use some assistance here, with young Yamada being otherwise occupied.”

And so he’d replaced one loud blond with another.  He couldn’t even be that mad about it.  

“You have any training for this?” he asked instead.  

“Well, not for announcing sports events in particular,” said Yagi.  “But I have a lot of media and commercial experience and I’ve been practicing cheering on my students!”

“Right,” said Shouta, who was feeling as if he’d somehow asked a stupid question.  “Just don’t show too much favoritism.”

“Oh, I’d never!  After all,” and here he grew much more grim, “you know as well as I do, the risks of putting too much attention on young Midoriya.  Besides, young Yamada gave us a ‘cheat sheet!’”

.

Izuku, dressed in his PE uniform, stumbled into 1-A’s prep room.  

“Hey!” said Kaminari.  “It’s Midoriya!  We were getting worried about you, man!”

“Ah, y-yeah,” said Izuku.  “I wound up going to the classroom instead.”

“Huh,” said Jiro, “you’d think your quirk would have warned you against that.”

“Um, yeah,” said Izuku, “but I guess it wasn’t really dangerous to go to the wrong spot at first?  Especially since I got here okay, eventually, right?”  

There was a murmur of agreement, but with a slight uneasy undercurrent.  

“There’s not any real danger in the sports festival, either, though, is there?” asked Yaoyorozu.  

“I- I mean, there’s the danger of getting beaten up?”  And he’d been able to feel danger from wrong answers on a test before, so…  This should be the same kind of thing, right?

Yaoyorozu nodded.  “Right.  There is that.”

“Don’t worry, Midoriya,” said Uraraka, “I’m sure you’ll be fine.  We did so much studying for this, after all.”  She held up a fist.  “I’m feeling confident!  That’s for sure!” 

“Yes!” said Monoma, who twirled over with Aoyama.  “I, too, am confident that we will defeat those philistines in class 1-B, not to mention everyone else!”

“Oui,” said Aoyama, “our performance will be tres magnifique!”

“Don’t forget we have allies in other classes, you two,” said Yaoyorozu, slightly exasperated.  

“Yes,” said Monoma, “but neither of them are in 1-B.  We have the excellent Mock and the ingenious Brigid to support us.”

Ashido sighed heavily.  “Speaking of support, I sure wish I could’ve used my costume.”

“It’s to keep things fair,” said Ojiro with a shrug.

Iida power-walked into the room.  “IS EVERYONE GOOD AND READY?” he shouted, clearly as nervous as Izuku, but trying to cover it up with sheer volume.  “THE EVENT’S ABOUT TO START!  Ahem.  Where is Todoroki?”

“Oh, jeez,” said Ashido, raising a hand to her lips.  “He never came to any of our practices, so I just sort of forgot he should be here…”

Honestly, so had Izuku.  Todoroki had quite the presence, but he could also fade into the background with surprising ease.  Maybe it was just because he hardly talked?  More importantly, what had happened to him?  Was he sick?  Did he get lost like Izuku did?  Did he get kidnapped by people trying to get at his father?  Endeavor might not have the social and political weight that All Might could bring to bear, but Number Two Hero wasn’t an empty title at all.  Maybe he–

Izuku’s thoughts ground to a confused halt when Todoroki casually walked into the room.  

Oh.  He was just late.  

Todoroki stood up in front of the room, clearly intending to make some sort of address.  

“Er,” said Izuku, “Todoroki, what is it?”

“Objectively speaking,” said Todoroki, “I’m stronger than all of you.  Even if you’re all working together… even if All Might has his eyes on you, Midoriya, no matter the reason…  I will beat you.”

"Did he just… declare a rivalry with… all of us?" asked Sero, quietly.  In the hush that followed Todoroki’s words, he might as well have shouted.    

"Can you do that?" asked Kaminari.  "Is that allowed?"

.

“He's got a point,” said Banjo.  “A rival is like a nemesis, or a girlfriend, you can only have one at a time.”

“That's not true,” said Yoichi.  “You can have more than one girlfriend at a time.”

En squinted at him.  “Again, aren’t you gay?”

“Multitudes, En, multitudes.”

.

“Aw, come on, man,” said Kirishima, “do you really have to pick a fight with all of us, now?  We’re about to go on and fight anyway.  Make your statement on the field!”

“I don’t care.  I’m not here to make friends.”  He shouldered past Kirishima and left the room.  

“Uh,” said Midoriya, “that… was something.”

“Yeah,” said Jiro.  “Does he intend to just wait in the hall or something?  We’re all going to the same place.”

Tokoyami shook his head, Dark Shadow mirroring him.  “What a mad banquet of darkness.”

.

“Wow,” said Yoichi, chuckling.  “Sometimes I forget how needlessly dramatic teenagers can be.”

All the ghosts, except Second, turned to stare at him.   

“How needlessly dramatic teenagers are?” repeated Nana.  

“Yes?”

“Have you not been sharing the same afterlife as the rest of us, or what?”

.

The class waited in the tunnel, fidgeting, bouncing, flexing, whispering.  Any minute, now, they’d be called in, to take their place on the field in front of the cameras.  

Any minute, now.  

“Is it just me,” whispered Uraraka, “or is this taking a really long time?”

“I am sure our eagerness is only making time appear to be passing more slowly than it really is!” said Iida.  

“No,” said Monoma, frowning, “they really are starting late.  I wonder if it’s a problem with the cameras, or if something else happened.  Midoriya, have you noticed anything?”

Izuku shook his head.  “I d-don’t think so? Just, um, just nervous for the event!  I think.  I hope nothing’s– nothing’s gone wrong.”

.

Shouta and Yagi bent their heads over Hizashi’s so-called cheat sheet.  

“I’m not reading this,” said Shouta.  

“This is…  I thought we were supposed to avoid favoritism in these things,” said Yagi, sounding incredibly confused.  “What– What’s this about a ruthless grand battle?  That doesn’t really… sound heroic…”

“Yeah, this is just typical Hizashi.  Trash it and come up with one of those inspiring speeches you like so much.”

.

The intercom speakers crackled into life overhead.  

“Welcome to the UA Sports Festival!”

“Is that…?”

“All Might!” squeaked a Gen Ed student several rows back.  

“The once-a-year event where our new students show how they can go PLUS ULTRA!”

The crowd outside, in the stadium, cheered wildly.  

“First, put your hands together for a class that has already faced some of the worst the world of villains has to offer and PERSEVERED!  Class 1-A!”

Somehow, they managed to turn their initial rushed stumble into a confident march before they emerged from the mouth of the tunnel.  Izuku squinted against the light at first, but recovered quickly and attempted to mimic Iida’s wave.  

“And next up, we have an equally worthy group of young heroes, who have been polishing their skills until they shine like the stars they are!  Class 1-B!”

As the classes emerged, Mr. Yagi continued to read out names and short accolades, and Izuku started to feel like he was about to throw up.  Oh, there were a lot of people here, and once all the classes came out, he would be speaking in front of them.  

.

“Well, this is it, guys,” said Yoichi.  “The last minutes of Hisashi not knowing Izuku is in the hero course.”

“I'm still not sure why you think he doesn't know already,” said Nana, crossing her arms.  “You were listening to the conversation they had about hero names, right?”

“Are you kidding?  That's how I know he has no idea.  That was classic Hisashi, existing in his own world, having a completely different conversation than the other person.  That's why he got my lab partner deported when I was an undergrad.  He heard the word partner, and he immediately assumed our relationship was romantic.”  Yoichi shook his head sadly.  

“New question,” said Banjo.  “Did All for One ever go to school?”

“When in reality, Chan and I had only just started discussing the possibility of a QPR…”

“No, seriously, what is that guy's level of education?”

“They had to go back to China…  It was tragic.  Almost as tragic as Izuku inheriting that particular personality quirk.”

“Ew, don't talk about Ninth inheriting quirks from him,” said En.  

“I agree,” said Hikage.  

“Thank you,” said En.  

“That was indeed a tragic turn of events, Yoichi.”

“Is no one else interested in whether or not All for One graduated high school?”

“Furthermore, I believe that the danger involved in a non-ceiling vaulting and the preceeding kidnapping would trigger far more anxiety that Ninth is currently experiencing.”

“Er, thanks, Hikage, but you don't have to say ‘non-ceiling.’”

“Hey!” snapped Nana.  “Ninth's speech is starting, and I, at least, want to hear it.”

.

“Now!” said Ms. Kayama, brightly, snapping her whip to get the attention of people close to the stage.  “The athlete’s oath!  Your student representative, from class 1-A, is Wonder!”

Izuku pasted on his best smile and climbed the stairs.

[lostfirefly]

I'm sorry, I can't stop writing about these two. English isn't my native language, errors may occur.

Bugust. Day 15. Sense (Buggy x OC). Fight, sadness, love wins.

"My blue-haired love, I brought us wine." Catherine opened the door to the kitchen and saw Buggy eating pasta. "What are you doing?"

"Eating. I'm hungry." He shrugged, twirling spaghetti around his fork.

"How could you do that?" Catherine said, practically sobbing. "Do you have a conscience?"

"What did I do? In my defense I can say that this is so fucking delicious! Oh, I want a beer." Buggy sent his hand to the fridge and grabbed a bottle.

"Aren't you embarrassed by anything? Two plates, glasses, candles. Did something go off in your fucking head?"

"I don't know." Buggy took a sip of beer. "Is this your favorite candlelit dinner?"

"Screw you, fucking clown!" Catherine waved at him. "I don't want to talk to you." She walked out of the kitchen without a word.

"Oh, come on! Cotton candy!" Buggy shouted and heard nothing in response.

After he finished his pasta, grabbed a beer, and went into the living room, where he saw Catherine sitting on the couch, holding the remote control.

"Everything was so fucking good, Cathie-pie." Buggy tried to kiss her cheek, but she pulled away sharply. "What's wrong?"

Catherine silently changed the channels of the television.

"Oh. Leave the sports channel." Buggy was about to settle comfortably on the couch when she changed the channel, and he saw a shoal of anchovies on the screen. "Can you hear me, woman?"

Catherine was silent.

"God, the queen has a grudge against me." Buggy leaned back on the couch and folded his leg over his foot. "Come on, cotton candy, talk to me." He placed his hand on Catherine's shoulder, but she threw his arm off.

"How could you forget?!" Catherine muttered under her breath.

"What did I do?"

"You ate all the damn pasta, Buggy." Catherine could feel herself starting to lose her temper.

"And?" He rounded his eyes. "I was hungry."

"And? That's it? Just "and?" I can't believe that you forgot that It's been three months since you made me pasta for the first time, you idiot. I told you that yesterday." She felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I made us a festive dinner!"

"Fuck, Catherine, you have so many anniversaries. For every little thing. Nothing bad happened."

"Nothing bad happened. Yeah. Just admit that you don't care about me, Buggy. I'm the one who has to tiptoe around you. Oh, Buggy's getting sad, I should be there for him. Oh, he's having a special day, I should be there for him. I don't know if you can't or won't remember the little things that matter to me." Catherine got up off the couch and went into the bedroom.

"It's just one stupid anniversary! Cotton candy! Catherine! Come back!" He shouted after her. "Fuck, good job, Buggy." He muttered to himself. "Why the hell did you say all that? Idiot! How could you forget? You've been recording everything on your phone. Shit! The reminder on my phone didn't work. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Maybe she will calm down now and come back to you? He-e-ey, my Buggy Bear, sorry. Uh-huh. Do you wanna try and wait? Oh, let's do better! Let's wait till she packs up and leaves you. Is that what you want? You finally have someone who understands and loves you. Get your clown ass up and go to the bedroom."

Buggy muttered, got up off the couch, and walked toward the bedroom door. He gently opened it and saw Catherine sitting in a chair. Her gaze was downcast, eyes glazed over with unshed tears that threatened to spill forth at any moment. The once-vibrant spark in her eyes had been extinguished, replaced by a dull, listless expression that betrayed the turmoil raging inside. Buggy approached the chair and didn't know what to say. A tense silence hung in the air, palpable and heavy, as he slowly lowered himself onto the chair.

"Hi." He said quietly.

"Go away, Buggy." Catherine wiped her eyes.

"But..."

"I said go away." Catherine buried her face in the plush pillow.

Buggy sighed and strode to the door, shuffling his feet.

Catherine raised her head and looked at the plush octopus on the windowsill. "Good for you, Catherine. Why did you say all that nonsense? Especially that line about tiptoeing. Should I go apologize? But how could he forget what you said to him last night? Maybe he doesn't care about me at all. No, don't you dare even think that. You know he loves you. In his sometimes weird way, and sometimes he forgets little things, but he loves you."

Catherine sat in the chair, feeling sorrowful, as she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. She ducked her head into the plush pillow again and sat like that until a hand gently tapped her shoulder.

"I told you to leave me alone, Buggy" Catherine looked up and saw an empty room. A hand appeared from behind the door jamb and waved a finger at her.

"Damn you and your chop chop thing." Catherine giggled and followed the hand.

As she entered the kitchen, the soft patter of her footsteps alerted Buggy to her presence. Glancing up from the task at hand, his eyes met hers, a silent acknowledgement of her arrival. There, by the sturdy wooden table, Buggy stood with a plate before him, delicately arranging strands of freshly cooked pasta. As Catherine drew closer, she could see the concentration etched on Buggy's features, his brow furrowed in a look of deep focus. It was a ritual he performed countless times, every time he screwed up.

"Your excuse mac and sausage?" Catherine crossed her arms, trying to suppress a smile as she glanced at the table. She saw how each noodle was carefully placed on the plate.

"You know that other than that, I can't really cook anything." Buggy scratched his head. "I do care about you, cotton candy. I remember little things that matter to you."

"Yeah, like what?" Catherine barked quietly. "Because sometimes I feel like you only keep me here to amuse your little Buggy."

"He's not lit--" Buggy scratched his cheek. "Like.. You like eating little marshmallows while you lie in the bathtub. They're pink and white. You have a box of chocolate chip cookies stashed in your drawer at all times, and you keep another one under your mattress. You like reading in bed while sipping lavender tea with ginger. And so now I buy it for you all the time, and you know I don't like lavender. It smells weird. And.. and at the amusement park, you most often choose lavender or blue cotton candy. You hug that stupid pink octopus when you talk about your sister or with her, and that's the only reason that stuffed asshole is still here. And I also remember all the anniversaries, but honestly, I don't want to show you how I remembered it, but if you really want to.." Buggy blushed and pulled his phone out of the pocket.

"No, I don't want to put pressure on you. Surprise me next time, okay?" Catherine came closer to Buggy, picked up his cell phone to put it back in his pocket. "Oh, there's a message here for you from Cabaji. He says he's coming over later tomorrow because he picked up a girl at the bar." Catherine chuckled and handed Buggy the phone. "You must miss those times? The carefree clown who just hung out with the girls."

"You like mocking me, right? Don't make me state the obvious, you little shit." Buggy gently put his hand on her back.

Catherine immediately wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I said too much. I don't think so. I like taking care of you and supporting you when I need to."

"I don't know what you're talking about, cotton candy. I didn't hear anything." Buggy kissed the top of her head.

"Liar." Catherine sighed. "I'm hungry. Let's eat your wonderful pasta." She kissed him on his cheek. "I'm sorry again. I'm so sorry."

"Forget it." Buggy took her hand and smacked it. "Are you still mad at me?"

"A little. But I'll forgive you if we go for a walk after dinner."

"Fine." Buggy rolled his eyes. "Let's go for your stupid walk."

[batsplat]

from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that

(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time

on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind

and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:

you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war

you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)

following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over

it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him

taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going

moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that

this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'

especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?

yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late

I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to

[catgirlvivisection]

henlo

hello to the few people who will see this - my name is mosi or sami (take ur pick) and i'm gonna start posting somewhat edgy content on my blog because having two blogs and constantly getting my rb's mixed up is getting frustrating

i will be renaming from lunarmosi to catgirlvivisection

if you're sensitive to violent/somewhat distressing content please blacklist "blood" "guro" "nudity" or "sensitive" or you can unfollow, no grudges held, just hope you have an enjoyable and safe experience on this site :)

no content will be anything gratuitous, over the top or involving IRL death, but i do like edgy art and comedic posts with distressing themes, while understanding not everyone shares the feeling

if you want to reach out to me or hangout and make community, find me on spacehey where all of my links are, i'm a bit shy but i'd love to chat or play games! riiiiiight here ----> X <------ that one

i have also maybe posted twice on this website in 10 years so allow me to introduce myself: hello! i'm a 25 year old country girl that is exploring what she wants to do with her life!

i love movies, reading, and writing, i prefer thriller and drama, a bit of horror here and there, and i'm admittedly a sucker for a good romance, bonus points if it's between girls ♀❤️♀

i used to solo drill HEMA fencing, specifically longsword, fell off for a long time and i'm hoping to get back into HEMA through arming sword in the near future

i'm also studying the occult and heavily involve myself into magic, i have pledged my patronage primarily to our heavenly lunar mother 🌙

i also have interests in fashion, non-hunting sport shooting, archery, cooking, anatomy, and LOVE animals, i'd like to think there's a cat that lives in my soul 🐈‍⬛

aforementioned rules are now in effect, i will be dilligant in tagging stuff, and maybe i can even meet some new lovely people :)

if you'd like to get in further contact my Discord is "mosi" and you can find my carrd here!

[dynmghts]

i've always wondered how to best explain how i interpret katsuki's approach to friendships and bonds in general... and i think the root of it is that he didn't have a lot of that growing up.

and okay before you lynch me, let me explain:

from the way i perceive the progression of bnha, katsuki's only true friend was izuku. they had others in that group of course, like the flying kid who ended up becoming a nomu, and the two other kids who stuck with katsuki even through middle school - but to me, it felt more like they were more like followers than friends to katsuki. izuku always seemed more genuine. he always comes across as someone who did admire katsuki for his strengths, yes, but wanted to be close to him and have his friendship.

which he did for a while! then the river incident happened, and katsuki grew intimidated by the innate heroism he saw from izuku, which in turn made him shove away the only real friend he had. and although we don't have the full picture of their friendship before their falling out, i still think katsuki didn't develop a friendship like that with anyone else before ua.

looking at middle school now, most of the kids dislike his outward behaviour and try to call him out on it, but he's extremely dismissive of what they say. his "friends" still follow him around, but not only do they do nothing to intervene when katsuki goes too far (only to question it later after the damage was done), they seem to disregard katsuki's distaste for smoking at their age. they don't seem so bothered about the idea that a mark on katsuki's record meant that he'd have a hard time getting into ua.

they don't exactly scream out "friend material" to me. and outside of them, katsuki scarcely interacts with anyone else outside of his bullying of izuku. that's why i think he was quite alone there; not in the sense he had nobody around, but in the sense that a lot of those people weren't true friends to him.

on top of that, i think katsuki KNEW that. he UNDERSTOOD that. he's not a stupid kid - i think that he did have a hand in isolating himself, whether it be a way to protect himself from people who couldn't be bothered to understand him... or it was a misguided decision borne from a superiority complex he developed over time, by the many people praising him and his talent. or both.

but when he got to ua, guess what happened?

he made his first friend since he was barely 4: kirishima eijirou.

and this was different because kirishima saw right through his attempts of distance. kirishima took one look past the prickly, arrogant, angry and spiteful exterior, and saw someone that actually had real and honest convictions. someone who did wear his heart on his sleeve, albeit guarded extremely, extremely well. kirishima didn't seek out friendship with him because he was one of the strongest kids in that class - he sought out that friendship because i think he knew bakugou katsuki needed it.

kirishima gave katsuki no reason to shut him out. he didn't feed into his superiority in the way others did - didn't hesitate to call him out, albeit playfully. this was a brand new dynamic to katsuki. this was someone he could trust. someone who was so painfully genuine and liked to hang out with him, even when he would practically give the other kid a headache drilling math into his brain.

his friendship with todoroki shoto is a little more complicated, in contrast. he reiterates they aren't friends, but this is not inherently true; in my opinion, he's just holding a very long, very spiteful grudge for the other "going easy" on him in the sports fest. he also gets his attitude shot down with every interaction he has with todoroki, because todoroki is immune to his antics and it pisses him off. they've formed a strong bond through remedials tbh, and though katsuki keeps giving todoroki a hard time, he's still counted in his circle of newfound friends.

my point here is: the bonds he's made through ua are incredibly new and unique to him, and even when the whole class gives him grief for his outward attitude, they all like and trust him to some degree. this is friendship he didn't necessarily have growing up.

(not forgetting that he did, in fact, throw away the one true friendship he had when he was a kid... but he recognises that now.)

as for his general point of view on friendship: in one of the light novels, katsuki states that friendship is not quantified by the length of time someone knows someone else - he says this in response to todoroki questioning how he and izuku were childhood friends, but don't seem to get along as childhood friends typically do. while this is specifically about izuku in this moment, this strengthens my idea that katsuki does not perceive anyone from primary and middle school as friends... well, eventually, save for izuku.

i also think this is what spurs on his inherent sense of loyalty to all his friends. i think that now he has such a good friendship network, loathe as he might be to admit it, he would defend each and every one of them no matter what.

his new friendships have to be one of the things katsuki is grateful for.

[lesharl-eclair]

hi this is just my very long brainrot + highlights + quotes i cannot get over after watching the most recent fernando interview (rambles below the cut, read at your own discretion)

When I say high performance what do you think of? “Delivering higher than expectations and having that extra something on everything you do.”

It’s unlimited for him. He’s been in this mindset for all his life and he probably won’t stop functioning at this level of “pure motivation”. It’s a way of life

His quiet amusement when they bring up him starting karting at THREE years old

“And I think the race was 15 laps and I did two of them. But they told me that I won the race so I was happy after all and yeah, that’s how it started.”

Humble origins? “I don’t know how I can be that competitive in everything I do because my family in general are not at all competitive.”

Fernando knew how to hold a grudge (!) “I could maybe not talk to them for one full day if I was not winning [at cards]” etc.

The moment when it really clicked that he HAD to win was as a defending champion (coming back to the Spanish championship in ‘97 after winning the Karting WC in ‘96)

“When I have this pressure I try to calm myself”

He deals with the expectations by knowing everything about what he’s going into.

EVERYTHING.

Asks about strategy like 5 times, prepares every contingency plan etc.

This applies to his daily life and I quote “When I’m at home relaxing [...] or there is a tennis match or whatever, I treat that tennis match like a Formula One Grand Prix. So I have to know everything about with who I will play with.” Literally all about the hyperfine control.

“If he’s too strong maybe I skip that day at the tennis because I hate losing.” I love him so much.

What is your relationship like with self-doubt? shrugs, smirks “Not much.” THE CHARISMA oh god.,,,????? 

ALSO, FERNANDO ALONSOS THINKING FACE (see this excellent post)

also also this seems a good place to add his like totally random head scratches and fidgets and most adorable face scrunches. such a cutie patootie energy ball.

This man avoids self-doubt by just TOTALLY avoiding the things he’s bad at????? 

“I’m doing what I know that I can do and on that specific thing, I don’t have much self-doubt or I don’t have many problems.”

He never thought he was slower than Michael Schumacher

“a kamikaze approach to Formula One and to the start of my career”

He loves Dakar so much and it’s so evident hehehee. He can find fulfilment here I think, being “two weeks in the middle of nothing on a tent”.

How does comparison work for you then? “I don’t know.”

He wants to spend more time with his family (!!) It’s a life he “wants to live in the next 40 or 50 years”.

Media attention/paparazzi? He’s more bothered by it than his parents and he really really values his privacy

On his first race in F1 in 2005, he called his father and his father said “Try to enjoy because maybe it’s your last race.” His family is just so content with anything that could happen, even the possibility of quote-unquote failure. Everything is just a gift.

He views F1 as more “selfish, more glamorous but also fake in another way”. F1 circus.

“I’m taking care a bit more of fans and TV and these kind of things because I understand the importance of it.” aka justifying your TikTok addiction,,,....???

I didn’t take one moment to enjoy my career because I was too focused on winning? without hesitation “Same!!!” (I regret that, I regret that)

“Celebrating every weekend is part of my thing now” It’s good imo that he took a step back and learnt to enjoy more his little successes :”))

Did I mention he’s so so detail-oriented?

“executing the race as a robot” so many fic ideas here lol “no emotion. And just there is only one way to see the chequered flag faster than any other possibility.”

“That’s the beauty of the sport, that even if you want to do something with no emotion, everything comes alive in certain moments of the race.”

He knows his stats :0

He says “bwoah” or “mwoah” a surprising number of times for someone who is not Kimi

His life is basically built around confidence and discipline and this also translates to how he deals with disappointment and pain

Sometimes he can’t digest losing the races/not podiuming for a few hours or until the next morning

There is always a plan and once that’s drilled into you it’s very easy to keep going

80% plans that he expects to go perfectly and 20% contingency plans because “you don’t want to spend too much time in the suboptimum”

If he could go back in time he would want to win a championship with Ferrari (don’t we all)

“There is a new life, you know, in a few years’ time for me without driving.” Retirement????? A F E W YEARS????????

“I should have enjoyed more and [...] I would just change to live a little bit more, all those moments, and try to have more memories from those moments. I won the championship in Brazil 2005/6 and I hardly remember anything from those afternoons and nights, which is sad…” Oh Fernando…

“I would love to win the championship again, but it’s not the highest priority.”

“Winning Dakar one day is a high priority for me as well.” HE REALLY LOVES DAKAR AND HES SO CUTE ABOUT IT UGHHH “IF I WIN IN DAKAR THAT WILL FEEL FOR ME SOMETHING SPECIAL AS A DRIVER AND AS A PERSON”????? SO so so cute

He loves people who are confident. He’s attracted to people who are “so sure of what they’re doing”. He finds them powerful.

“College is beautiful time”

What is the hidden cost of your achievements? “Nothing really.”

“Probably not being in the sport and not being an F1 driver I probably would have my own family by now, but that’s something that you never know.” ???????? wdym you never know but YES nando loves kids good to know

How happy are you? (they dropped that like a bomb) the answer is “9, 9.5 [out of 10]”.

THE HEAD OF MECHANICS IN HIS GOKART TEAM SAID “THERE IS NOT MUCH TO CELEBRATE” WHEN HE GOT SECOND IN THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 

HE WAS T H I R T E E N let a guy be happy cmon

“you win or you don’t” That actually maybe explains how Nando used to be when he was younger

One piece of advice for listeners? “Self-confidence. Being prepared for everything you do in life. You cannot be happy with anything. You have to always search for something better.”

How much did you prep for this interview? “Not much, I was in the sim this morning.”

link

thanks for reading my absurdly long brain vomit !! lmk what yall thought of this :)

[itsblasttothepast]

I'm not really a Chewis fan (I don't mind them, I just like Chestappen more) for a few reasons but I think that if there was something between them it was more of a BFF with benefits in their younger days - with Checo baying all babygirl in Sauber and Lewis being the moment at that time (I think that after Nico Lewis wouldn't want to mix personal and profesional ever again) but they sure do have chemistry. A song for them would be I think, Never Mind by Rafael Witt (it's a bit angsty but that's how I feel about this ship) - it's like Sergio reflecting at their relationship after years - mind you, that's just my interpretation so it might be completly wrong - it's written with the perspective that Chewis was real until they fell apart somewhere around 2018 and ended completly in 2021.

"Sleep/Isn’t it much harder?/Searching just to find her where you would not expect"

That is Checo thinking about the past and wondering what could've been if he stayed with Lewis as something more than just friends - I think that young Lewis wouldn't look for happiness in Sergio just because he was focused on becoming the greatest when Checo was just a rookie who was trying hard. I recon Sergio wouldn't have such doubts and he would just want to be happy with what he had. "To be/Lost inside, you’re a liar/Whining won’t inspire/The ghosts you thought were in the past"

I think the ghost of Lewis's relations with Nico would play a huge role on the downfall of Chewis, with Sergio witnesing it first hand and supporting both of them through the difficult times. I think Lewis would be the one who would refuse to talk about past claiming that he "dealt with it" and Checo would be just tired of being in the shadow of something he couldn't fully understand.

"Why would I take your order?/Disorder, I cry/Crumble even further/Disorder, I yearn"

That is Checo from McLaren or the end of Force India times when everything around him seemed hostile and against him and he just wanted to do his best but he couldn't operate in the chaos. Not to mention that he went to McLaren to replace Lewis which only adds to the narrative of feeling lost and slightly undervalued (by the teams and by Lewis, who was chasing stars in Merc - he was there to congratulate him on every victory but Lewis wasn't really there for him).

"I’ll confess my love to the stars/And you’d never mind"

Sergio loves with his whole heart and it was just a matter of differences in personalities that caused them to fall apart eventually, no argument had taken place, nobody did anything worng - they are the perfect example of "the right person, the wrong time" "Now you said some things you wish you didn’t/You put me to walk/within your limits/Explain to me clearly now" I think Lewis might have held some sort of grudge against Sergio for how the 2021 season played of and how Checo did his best to help Max (adding on top the controversy of Abu Dhabi and what went on there). He probably didn't even know it but Sergio could feel the distance and he decided that it was best to be just friends than resent each other. Years passed and now he would like to talk to Lewis clearly about what happened to them because if you love someone so much you never stop, the love just takes on different shape.

"I wanna learn to heal the spirit/Walk with my own eyes/Watch the Sun, the morning light"

Right now with all the shit going on Sergio just wants to enjoy the time he has left in the sport and make the most of it, looking for the happy memories for himself and not trying to prove anything to anyone.

"I wanna learn to feel the world/Drown within its arms/Step outside the guiding lines" Sergio from this season decided to throw caution to the wind and he started to meet the annoying journalists with the "I don't give a fuck" energy because he finnaly doesn't want the media to dictate if he is or isn't enjoying doing what he loves. He is no longer the PR trained pet RBR can use however they want and I think Lewis would admire that, seeing that he was once forced into a persona that wasn't him too. As for Billie Eilish and Chestappen I think the most obvious one is Ocean Eyes

"I've been watchin' you for some time/Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes/Burning cities and napalm skies/Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes/Your ocean eyes" Sergio watched Max grew inside the sport and he was there with him from the beginning, he knew what Max was capable of and he never doubted his skills. He saw Max become what he is today - a record breaking machine with almost nothing that could stop him - and I think he admires him in a way.

"No fair/You really know how to make me cry/When you gimme those ocean eyes/I'm scared/I've never fallen from quite this high/Fallin' into your ocean eyes/Those ocean eyes" Ekhem - Brazil 2022 again? How Max destroyed Sergio's picture of how they could be great teammates? How the whole mess afterwards somehow painted him as the vilivan? And what did he do? Nothing, he made peace with it and continued his work, eventually going back to being friendly with Max - because let's be honest, Max is only scary on the track, off of it he's a little puppy dog who wants to play - and he can't help it, he just likes his silly blonde teammate.

"I've been walkin' through a world gone blind/Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind/Careful creature made friends with time/He left her lonely with a diamond mind/And those ocean eyes" It's like- It's just them, isn't it? Sergio, aside from Kamui, never had a good teammate who would be nice to him (not talking about racing but outside of the race weekends too) and I think he likes how things work with Max, especially since the Dutchman is really entertaining and quick witted - making friends with him must've been something new for Checo and let me tell you, I don't think the process was easy at all, with Max fighting for WDC, with them having problems in 2022, with RBR being the way it is - but it worked in the end, no?

First, let me tell you song headcanon anon, how much I love your asks and how they cheer me up in this dark moments after Austin 🥰

I appreciate even when you aren't a Chewis fan, you found a song about them! First of all, it's a fan headcanon that Lewis and Checo had something going on when they were younger. The hugs, the looks, the joking around... then both Nicos got in the middle (Hulkenberg for Checo and Rosberg for Lewis) and they drifted apart.

I think we all agree that if those two had something going on, it ended in 2021 after Checo joined RBR and became enemy number two (Max being number one).

Anon, you get Checo so well, I once saw a post that said something about the problem with Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader (sorry, Star Wars reference here): 'Anakin loved too much and Darth Vader loved too little'. So I see Checo as the one always loving too much, giving everything. He loves his teams, even evil McLaren, he loves his teammates, he loves racing... but it's too much love and he isn't appreciated as much by teams and teammates (they are the ones loving too little).

As much as I love Chewis, I know Lewis is focused on himself and his eight championship (and he indirectly blames Checo for not getting it), so it makes sense he moved on.

I know! I recommended Ocean Eyes for a fancam, I originally heard that song in a Chewis video, which as pretty as it was, I didn't get why the song, since none of them have blue eyes XD

With the Mexican GP around the corner, maybe we need a more cheerful song for Chestappen, do you have one? Please share!!

(Also, while I suck, I'm thinking of making fanvideos with your song recommendations... some day in the future when I have time 😅

[black-butterfly-system]

Columbine ft Skynd

A spark amongst the darkness, 

Lights up and motivates me, 

I understand what I want, 

I’m not special in this jock culture, 

Mistreatment every single day, 

Do I deserve it? I don’t think so,

Everyone is the same shitty human being, 

I imagine them all dead, 

And in order to feel alive, 

I’ll take violence as my personal path.

School? Battlefield, 

Two students? Ready for action, 

Their motive? Hatred

What they got? Thirst of fame, 

And their bags? Emotion.

Down, do you think I’m down?

When I point my gun at your head

You won’t think the same,

Down? Nobody is below anybody,

Making fun of me entertains you?

Not for long, I’ll teach you what fun is.

Ratatata-ratatata

I can imagine it

Ratatata-ratatata

I like what I see

Ratatata-ratatata

I wanna do it

Ratatata-ratatata

I enjoy grudges in motion.

I want to destroy you,

I want to dismember you,

I wanna see your blood stain around.

I want to explode you, 

Run, ‘cause I’m gonna hunt you,

I wanna see the horror on your face.

For the golden metal,

I’ll kill more,

I’ll be important,

Bombs, ammunitions and guns,

Of this game a mission,

11:14 AM, Columbine high school,

Ready, set, let’s get into action!

I kinda like you, so go away,

But you, mhhh, not that much, 

I choose my victims this way, 

Between life and dead,

I’m the one who chooses their end.

Down, everyone down,

As I walk I shoot them, 

Dead and hurt,

Falling everywhere, 

Down, everybody down,

I want you under my feet.

It’s relevance, 

Not revenge.

At the library I use my shotgun, 

And well, an easy instruction I say, 

“Athletes, get up”

“Up I said”

These retarded monkeys, 

Popular worthless shitheads, 

Don’t obey, 

So I shoot at the desks,

One lost his head,

Not a rhyme though,

Just ask the braindead.

They don’t wanna run, 

I don’t care, 

“Knock-knock”

You didn’t ask who’s there,

I drag a stupid away from the table, 

“I’m there” And put a bullet in her face,

Not surprising anyways.

I want to see your blood splatter the walls, 

To see you fly in pieces,

And watch as your bodies dance while receiving 

For multiple times the heat of my gun.

——————- Role exchange 

“Mom, I lost Stacy, I'm hiding in the restrooms”

I’m hearing gunshots, I try to be quiet,

But he gets into the room, 

I lift my feet from the floor,

I cover my mouth with my hands,

I try so he doesn’t notice me,

I’m trying not to cry,

I hug my schoolbag,

And take out my cellphone to write a message,

“I love you mom, I love you all”

He starts to walk, 

I’m breathing fast, I can hear my heartbeat, 

Coldly I sweat starts to fall, 

He kicks the door open,

I lose control, drowning,

I close my eyes, 

I hear he takes out the gun, 

I start to cry,

I try to grab the walls, 

Shaking my head “no”,

I’m gonna throw up.

I hear a gunshot.

Wait, what? The shooter killed himself right now!?

——————- Role exchange

Now, you all, listen, 

Pay attention to me,

Welcome to my world

Welcome to my life, 

Welcome to death, 

Have fun!

Now you all, listen to me, 

So, you like sport?

I present to you the game of death, 

You run, I aim, you die

And I score one more.

I explode the bombs, 

They throw themselves off the windows,

They try to block the doors, 

Adrenaline feeds from death,

My obsessive thoughts.

You thought I was kidding?

What am I doing this?

Oh, but it’s just a hobby, you know?

Fame and glory, 

Tell me why you deserve to live, 

I’ll discuss with my buddy whether you don’t.

People are ridiculous, 

I chase them,

And even without legs,

It’s like they want to run, 

While their blood drains off,

Thrilling energy fills me,

When I see how they crawl. 

Down.

Everybody to the floor.

Ready or not, there I go!

Ratatata-ratatata

To the rhythm of the bullets I’m marching,

Ratatata-ratatata

Prepare to die,

Ratatata-ratatata

I may want to use my knife on you,

Ratatata-ratatata

It’s so much fun.