#I try to not be too noisy on this blog but I think I'd really enjoy just chatting about art stuff here more!

[dandyghest]

I think my design philosophy with the sabroonor could be boiled down to simply: "I want to create a round creature that I will enjoy having exist after I've made it".

I actually almost didn't move forward with the design because I was worried it wasn't "monster" enough for the contest, but I decided to go with it anyways because I couldn't stop thinking about the little guy LOL. I figured I should just have fun with it and not worry too much, and submit it to the contest just to be part of something! I'm really very glad I pushed myself to participate even though I was scared to do so!

I've never participated in a contest before (other than a local writing contest back in highschool), and this was an absolute blast to take part in! It's been so much fun seeing everyone's designs and artwork, and I am genuinely so awed by other people's creativity - I hope I can be as creative as some of the other artists one day because wow! It's really so inspiring and makes me excited to continue creating and improving! :D

[mupfinsmiley]

January 1st, 2024 - Log/100 Days of Productivity

Damn, I have not been on tumblr in a long time. But the urge to jump back on here has been growing stronger recently. So here I am, blogging once more.

I remember doing regular 100 Days of Productivity Challenges on here. I think I should pick that back up. I've been in a slump for a while and reconnecting with a community could help.

So here's my first log for Januar 1st 2024.

Not much has happened today. I am still feeling a little hungover and foggy from New Years Eve. I did not celebrate. I am not big on that holiday in particularly. I remember when I was younger I used to really enjoy it but now it seems so unnecessary. Just a day before a day and a day.

I honestly do not like how people celebrate here either. Fireworks are widely available and are being bought up by idiots to then be as noisy as possible. To make the air unbreathable. Pregnant with the pungent smell of smoke and sulfur. As if they were trying too hard to make themselves noticeable. This one day they think, is their day. The one were they let lose ...

Unless... That is obviously not true. People look for any way and any excuse to "let lose". To not feel responsible for their actions.

And honestly I can see why. Sometimes I wish I were the kind of person who could just let go and see where that leads me.

I can't say that i have set any New Year's resolutions ... Honestly, I don't believe in them. I'd like to think that you can improve your life any day. But I don't judge those who do. You do you. I guess I want to write more. Take care of myself more. Do things I love more. Be more active. But those are barely New Years resolutions. Just things I have not done in a long time.

So what did I actually do today? Not a lot. I cleaned a bit, unpacked my suitcase. Took a shower way to late in the day. I tried to get up early but failed. That bothers me. It seemed a lot easier a longer time ago. I tried to sleep early, too, yet the fireworks kept me up. I guess I can add better sleep to the list of Non New Years resolutions.

I edited some videos for work and I crocheted my first square for my temperature blanket. I made a post where I shared that. And I think I'll share a more general post on what that is and what I'll do with mine.

But that's pretty much it. Still a lot of drowsy procrastination. But I guess, we all start somewhere.

[mental-health-advice]

Hello I was hoping your blog could help me.💖

I am suspecting I might have ADHD especially with remote learning. I have trouble paying attention in class especially math class which is the class I'm least interested in. I would start an assignment in class because we had to and then I wouldn't work on it again until the day before it's due, and I wouldn't have time to ask my teacher about it so I would just have to complete it. I also would get up and walk around after class and would have trouble sitting down and doing homework. Some assignments I finished past midnight even through school ends around 2pm and got distracted with YouTube and Tumblr(although maybe it's just a technology addiction I don't know).

I wander around downstairs because I get bored of sitting down in my room and I have repeated behaviors of getting up to close doors even though I know they would soon be open again. I wander more and tug at my fingers when I'm alone downstairs(I might also speed walk and there have been times I've shook my hands to burn off energy). I also can't work without background noise or too much background noise while I'm trying to read something (for example one time in school I started to cry a little when kids were being too noisy for me to work although I was already frustrated with my classmates from the class before). I often sing to myself while working on school work (which I don't know if that counts as verbal stimming). When reading something even if I'm interested in it my brain often scans over it and I can't pay attention. My Mom often tells me to put my mind it what I'm doing when I zone out (which might cause my body to go on autopilot)

I daydream A LOT and they are very vivid stories with characters that I like to think are based off of myself. It's mostly about tv shows or movies, and can be triggered by music.

When it comes to things like eating when I'm focused on my device or a drawing I tend to forget about it and delay it (for example I could wake up at 2pm and not eat a thing until 7pm). Since I can't go to the library I read an audiobook that I really liked and spent a lot of the night reading it and most of the next day so I probably didn't eat until late afternoon (maybe it's because the book was super interesting since as I said before it's hard for me to read less interesting things). For my online bookclub I usually have to listen to audiobooks while drawing to get through the stories.

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is something I relate to because as far back as kindergarten I could remember being told I quote "shut down" when I was corrected. And during middle school a teacher yelled at me for sharpening a colored pencil and I guess I forgot in the moment that it was bad for the sharpener and I cried in my next class and thought that I should buy that teacher a new one (even though the old one wasn't broken). Or when I did a presentation and I made a joke at the end and no one laughed so I went to the bathroom to cry and another time a teacher (I'd like to add that all the reactions from the examples I listed are justified I'm just dramatic) justifiably corrected me on an assignment and she asked me if I wanted to go to the bathroom (I think she noticed I was tearing up before I did) I don't like that this happens because criticism is good but I even get upset when I expect it to happen.

I did benefit from the pomodoro technique so maybe I should keep doing it. Alot of the procrastination issues happened near the end of the school year and I got desperate so I talk to the school psychologist (I got advice in an email) and we chatted a few times and will hopefully continue to when school starts again. Something I would like to add is that I think ADHD is hereditary and I have atleast one sibling questioning if they have it and the other ones show similar signs. I'm afraid to tell my parents even though ones a therapist since I don't know if they will take me seriously and I have taken online quizzes (which I know are not always accurate but I only have so many resources). I'm also considering autism since it's similar adhd (although I relate more to adhd) I also doubt I have any sensory issues or atleast none that I'm currently aware of. To be honest I'm not sure if I'm projecting symptoms and some things I didn't know until I learned about them.

I know you can't give me a diagnosis but I was wondering if these were worth considering and maybe bringing up at a doctors appointment or something. Thankyou for your time and have a good day or night 😁

Hey there,

I think that from all the you are experiencing and going through that you should definitely talk to your local doctor or GP.

What you are going through sounds really full on and a doctor will be able to help diagnose you if you do have ADHD or something similar like autism or something completely different. It is through a diagnosis and talking to your doctor, that they will be able to then refer you on to other professionals for help, support and treatment if your doctor is unable to do this themselves.

It can be so hard to take quizzes and do online research about possible diagnoses you may have based on your symptoms as many different disorders/ mental health issues have similar symptoms hence why it’s so important to get a professional diagnosis. By taking quizzes online, like you mentioned, you can also begin to think you may have the symptoms when you may not truly have them. I am not in anyway suggesting that you are making any of your symptoms or experiences up as I truly believe that you are not, but it can happen.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you, hope you are going OK and I wish you all the best in speaking to your doctor if you choose to do so!

Take care,

Lauren

[laurasroyalblog]

Waaay before I found your blog I'd just check up on Kate because I've always loved looking at fashion posts anywhere I found them and while I loved her style I found it really boring at times but also was always surprised when I preferred her outfits to other royal ladies'. I guess this is me understanding that you can't go wrong with classics and that adding too noisy accessories will ruin a look but dang it even if I really love her style I can't wait for this woman to spice things up a bit!

Fashion is for the most part subjective so people will be drawn to certain things.  I have to say that for me I generally find Kate’s looks fine.  They don’t wow me a lot, but they look appropriate for the setting and get the job done.

I try to say that when I do my pretend stylist I try to think like a stylist and balance the person’s personal taste and preferences with what I think will look good on them and what fits the situation.  There’s a reason my pretend stylist for Archie’s christening was designed to be boring.  I wanted it to be, and I think judging by the fact that Kate wore a repeat today so did she.  It sends a message about where the focus of today should be, and I really respect that.

[maelledoesblognow]

Blog n.6: Careers in English

The 1st December, people from the Career Services came in the class. They did a presentation about the jobs we could get withthe "Études Anglaises" degree. To be honest, I really needed this. Since I was young I want to be an Englis Literature teacher, but recently I had a lot of questions such as:

Am I really made to do this ?

Is this only work Ican do with this degree?

So, this encounter was really what I needed to hear: the careers possibilities. I was surprise. I didn't think one degree could give access to so many jobs. I also felt reassured. I could try diverse jobs in different specialities while keep doing what I know and love to do.

I am still interested in teaching but at university only not high school or middle school ( kids are too noisy). To achieve this goal I need to get my Master degree and personally I'd like to reach the Doctorate. While doing the mandatory educational schedule, I gather general culture of literature: reading diverse books from everywhere in the world to expand my knowledge. With a club of Literature we share during few hours about a book we read beforehand. I'd like to apply to the university library, as I don't have any experience this could be a nice first job in the field I enjoy. I also thought about applying to paid search jobs on literate topics, hoping I could find some.

I am also interested into Traduction. However, in this case I might have another degree. I will have to search on this but I will for sure try the same extra as said earlier for it too.

[shapeofbones]

02/04/22

so i've decided to start a stress free blog for thoughts, rants, projects, updates etc.

i've tried to start a blog for a long time but i've never succeeded bc i either made it so formal to the point where it was like writing personal essays, or i just ghosted it.

anyways i'm a high school junior and i'm pretty busy so this might become a monthly thing. i'm quite disorganized so i have thoughts scribbled all over the place (notion, notebooks, docs, discord) and i'm just adding to that collection.

but this is a stress-free environment so...!!

updates for 2022 so far

january 9-15: attended youngarts week! so phenomenal and i've talked a lot about this elsewhere so i'm not gonna ramble again. but definitely such a valuable community and place to grow. thank you nicole for giving me so much inspiration. <3 yay poetry i guess?!?! always thinking about wildness and radical suggestions too. ngl i felt intimidated by everyone's energy as an introvert but i met ppl who would randomly text me about kdramas and game pigeon so I LOVE UUU! started a skincare routine too, discreetly.

mid jan: caught up with school work mostly, spent lots of time studying for compsci... i need an A in that class... but i oddly have lots of free time to watch kdramas and play games? i've developed an unusual (but not suprising) addiction to candy crush and this water filtering game.

late jan: went to the cardiologist and luckily my heart isn't too bad but my blood cholesterol levels are abnormally high. gonna cry. watched true beauty like 3 more times and i fall in love with eunwoo every single time, smiling like a crazed gal. astro's songs are actually really good and i've been obsessed with eVeRy song for this entire month.

early feb: still not very busy, and that gives me chills because i feel like i should be dying at this point. told mr v that ap lang was the easiest (least time consuming) english class so far and he was shocked. finished our beloeved summer and started all of us are dead. i thought i'd hate zombie movies (first one and counting!) but i actually really like this one. i am trying to eat less sugar and it worked until today (feb 4) when i ate 6 girl scout cookies. birthday coming soon! means i'm 18 and will get a paypal account.

writing news so far: lynne thompson called! i'm working on publishing my chapbook manuscript and miye's doing the cover art yay!!! also wrote 2 poems, one's a ghazal. talking about brokenness and form with nicole. ran lumiere's contest and received 1500+ pieces. also wrote half of a flash fiction piece. did an interview about writing and youngarts with elyse! i also started thinking about future collection ideas (apologies, motion, abundance), and i'm really fascinated by the intersection between antithetical things (abundance vs. absence, endings vs. beginnings, loss vs. reunion, motion vs. static, wholness vs. brokenness) and how they complement each other more than repel.

random thoughts: gotta start studying for aps sometime soon // still thinking about crying in h mart, and crying // i should watch train to busan soon // my parents and sis are so obnoxiously noisy i can't bear it anymore... gives me chest pain // starting to like mitski more! // why am i so bad at reading? // eunwoo is so sexy and his voice/face is calming. calm polar bear vibes. // i feel like i'm gender fluid... really contemplating this these days.

looking forward:

i want to write a collection of poems as a personal project. not for publication though.

i want to go exploring around LA, especially korean-american imprints in this city like koreatown. wanna go out with some friends, old and new. like my band friends and maybe multi friends. learn and experience culture!

i wanna live a youtuber lifestyle (think minimalism, vegetarian, fashion revamping, makeup) but i think i'll save this till end of college apps next year.

gotta really make an ap study plan. there's 3 months left.

i'm getting $3,000 from youngarts and i want to use that well. really wanna travel but i don't think that's possible with covid. i'd buy lots of fashion items but also it seems like a waste.

[imagineyourstars]

Hello! I'd like to request headcanons for Makoto, Mao, Natsume, Leo, Kanata, Tetora and Keito trying to help their s/o who keeps getting migraines bc of university. I love your blog very much and every post is such a treat! Keep it up!!

Aah thank you so much for thesupport !! I’m happy you like the blog !!! I’m sorry to hear about yourmigraines…. but let’s be honest college is just [endless screaming] here’s to hoping this back to school season goes smoothly for you and that the boyscan heal you even just a little bit ♥ (your matchup is coming up soon too winkwink) - mod mademoiselle

Makoto :

Oh no !!! You’re not feeling good !!He’s going to get super worked up over this !!!

He read a bunch of articles on thenet about migraines and got super worried you might have brain cancer or another highly implausible illness. You had to cheer him up because he wasbawling his eyes out. (He’s banned from looking any symptoms up the net now.)

He likes to have calm, relaxingevenings with you after class ! He’ll get tea ready and silently read his notesfrom the day, cuddled up with you. He tries to send a lot of telepathic “getbetter” signals too !

He often gently massages yourtemples, shoulders and neck. He heard unwinding pressure in those areas canhelp with headaches ! Well, you’re not sure it really works, but at least itdoes feel nice, especially after a long day of classes…

You constantly have to reassure himand tell him you’re doing fine now, because he’s definitely not above getting empathy migraines too…

Mao :

He’s ready. He’s been ready sinceday one. Finally, the medicine he’s been carrying just in case you feel sickproves useful !

He has so much knowledge aboutmedicine and carries a lot wherever he goes, so rest assured : you’ll be fineas long as he’s with you !

Trust him, he gets you. Sometimes,on evenings, you end up slumped over the couch together, lifeless and headaching from the day.

There’s nothing he likes more thannursing you when it gets especially bad. You don’t remember asking him to bringyou dinner in bed, but he’ll do it anyway. He won’t stop at anything if it’s to makeyou feel better !

Expect him to wake up earlier thanyou on mornings, just to slip medicine in your bag. It even comes with a cute post-it note, onwhich he doodled hearts and wrote words of encouragement for the day !

Natsume :

It’s not like he can tease you aboutthis, but he’ll try anyway. He likes commenting that your head hurts onlybecause of how hard you focused while patting your head. Maybe he’s just tryingto comfort you, though… You’re not quite sure.

He’ll help in his own way ! Sincehis classes end earlier, he likes to get dinner ready for when you come home,or order your favorite food. He loves this kind of little attentions that canhelp you cheer up after a long day.

While he’s more than okay withspoon-feeding you medicine, he likes suggesting other types of “home-made remedies”. “You know, little kitten, I’ve heard of another very effectiveway to cure headaches… Maybe you want to try it out ? I can help, you know.”He won’t stop smirking after that.

He won’t let you stay up late atnight. You need to rest ! You already go through a lot and you don’t need to betired the next day. He always has a new scheme up his sleeve to trick you intogoing to bed early. Besides, it helps him sleep at decent hours too, so it’s awin-win situation !

Recently, he’s started to take advantageof your migraines to coax you into doing stuff with him. You should totally go have a bathwith him, because “it should help with headaches”. Well, how could yourefuse him anyway ? Maybe giving him excuses isn’t that bad, from time to time…

Leo :

He’ll be super compassionate whenyou tell him, then forget about it an hour later. Every time you have to remindhim he gasps loudly and apologizes furiously… and then he forgets again.

He loves making up new remedies ofhis own ! And they’re “super-duper extra great !”, too. Like kissing yourforehead five times, or massaging behind your ears, or holding you as tight ashe can for ten minutes… He seems convinced they really do help, although yoususpect he may be doing all that to amuse you.

While he’s usually pretty noisy, hetries to quiet down a bit on evenings, especially on school days. It’s subtle,but he’ll use his headphones when composing a new song on his keyboard, forexample. Well, it’s not like you can stop him from shouting whenever he needsto “evacuate all the stress”, as he says.

He’s the absolute best as suggestingsolutions that are anything but helpful. “So, your migraines come up when you’reat school, right ? Well, why don’t you just stop going ? You can just stay at home and help meout today, wahaha !”

He hates seeing you pushing yourselftoo hard ! He’ll come hugging you in the middle of a super importantassignment, claiming you need a break because “you’re going to die if you worktoo hard !! Trust me !”. It’s not the best for your concentration, but he reallydoes mean well, so you just can’t be angry at him !

Kanata :

He’s very compassionate and likes tocheck how you’re feeling, once in a while. He’s especially worried you might notfeel good and never tell it to avoid bothering others…

His very presence is healing, and ithelps you relax ! Just cuddling quietly on the sofa an evening while watching adocumentary about sea creatures is enough to make you unwind and alleviate a bitof the pression.

He likes to sneak behind you andmassage your temples as you’re doing something else. He’ll also whisper magicwords for the migraines to go away. It’s not like it really works, but if he can get you to smile by doingthis, his mission’s fulfilled !

He’s super careful about you andwill make sure you’re not too anxious because of classes. He’s worried yourbuild-up stress may have a part in this, so he likes to do fun and relaxingthings with you on days off. He wants you to unwind !

He likes herbal and natural remediesas opposed to medicine, and you can expect him to have a cup of your “specialtea” ready for when you come home ! Sipping on it and watching his peacefulsmile at least helps with your tension, and makes for a pretty good evening ritual…

Tetora :

Finally, he gets an opportunity toshow you how cool and manly and reliable and helpful he can be !!! Just leaveit to him, he’s gonna find a miraculous solution in a heartbeat !

Well, he can’t say his plans aregoing well though. His extensive google search didn’t bring up anything useful,the full-course dinner he tried to cook for you turned out inedible, heaccidentally flooded the bathroom by trying to run a bath for you… You’ll haveto settle for headache medicine and the pizza he ordered as a last resort.

He can’t stop moping because hethinks he’s totally powerless against your migraines ! He still puts up abrave, smiling front because he wants you to feel good and relaxed. You alreadyhave enough on your plate and don’t need his whining, especially after a longand painful day…

He knows quite a lot of breathingexercises and likes to practice them with you ! He heard from Kuro that theyhelp with good blood circulation, and that they may even relieve headachessometimes. He also suggested trying meditation, and he can vouch it does havehealing and calming properties !

He showed up at your universityonce, just to bring you medicine. You did swear to him you were going to bealright and that you were used to the pain, but he wouldn’t have any of it !And, well… he hoped you would rely on him a little bit more, after that.

Keito :

If anything, he’s compassionate. Hedefinitely gets you and has occasionally been struggling with migraines too.

He suggested you go get your eyestested, as he’s worried you may need glasses. He’s also been researching extensively tounderstand just why you get those, and if there’s anything he can do to help.

He’s always well-prepared. He alwaysmakes sure you have medicine on hand, gets everything done for you so that youcan relax on evenings and days off, and he likes to call you during lunch breakto ask how you’re doing. He won’t admit it, but he really is worried about you…

He gets weirdly nursing when you’rein pain, and will literally stay at your bedside and make sure you haveeverything you need. You even have to stop him from spoon-feeding you ! Eventhough you assure him you’re not doing that bad,he doesn’t listen to you. He’s determined you need some rest, and he wants tobe the one to care for you in the meantime.

He likes to gently hug you when itgets really bad, holding your hand tight until the pain subsides. He won’t letgo of it, though : he likes it and feels connected to you, that way… Besides,it’s a way for him to show you he cares and that he’s here, by your side !

[lauriesrpt]

dunno if you remember me, but i'm [-] anon? how have you been? told you i'd update you when i had some news and last night was... a toughie for me. the person and i have been expressing casual interest over the last week or two, and we both agreed to take it slow and just get to be friends. but last night i learned they were poly... and married. i expressed that i was hurt that this didn't come up when i started expressing obvious interest in them and they apologized and while they explained [-]

part 2: explained they didn’t share it right off the bat because of our agreement to take things slow in getting to know one another, they also said it didn’t excuse my hurt and really validated how i was feeling without trying to seem like they were blatantly keeping it from me. between the both of us we’ve always had an open ‘i’ll answer anything you ask’ policy. i just don’t know how to feel. it brought up, tangentially sort of, a lot of feelings i have about always being a 2nd or 3rd choice 

part 3: choice in someone’s life; never the first? which is why i always told myself i could never be in a poly relationship that wasn’t like closed on all sides. but i don’t know. they aren’t interested in anyone except for me and their spouse right now so i’m just sort of venting the situation to put it into words that might help me understand it better? thank you for being there for me. i appreciate you so much laurie. hope you have a great week

oh my loki, hi! i am SO happy to hear from you! i was wondering how you were doing, actually (look at me paying more attention to lovely anons than my finals, awesome). well i’ve been through a pretty hard time that explains why i took a break from this blog. hopefully i’ll be better when i’ll finish this semester. i assume you’ve been on a roller coaster and i am so sorry for you, honey! i know ‘you’ll be okay’ type of hollow encouragements can’t change much, but i wish you the best already to give your heart a break. you deserve it! so, now, let’s go on to your story. 

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. i don’t know if i should be crazy mad or crazy sad. i am very glad this person showed you they were understanding despite the (let’s be honest) quite awful circumstances, but still… you can’t just hide that? i would get it if this person was single at the moment but have been used to polyamorous relationship so they would search for the same thing and kept you out of their plans to see how things would go. you both agreed to taking it slow and this, to me, would be the type of slow you asked for. but married?!  m a r r i e d ??? to their end it seems completely fine to ander around while being married, but he should have asked your views on marriage and see if there was indeed room for a more open thing than a traditional relationship. does that make sense? probably not. i am in no way judging you for developping feelings for this person. the truth is, i would probably have too. caring, understanding, gentle and patient partners are rare to find and they seem to have checked all the boxes, so i get why you got so attached to them. but they dropped the biggest bomb ever! i am so sorry, love. 

ah, being someone’s second choice (and therefore third!)… if only you knew how much i related to this fear! if they do express out loud that they are deeply and honestly interested in you, that would be great. at this point, it is an issue of trust (i understanding going slowly and getting to know each other, but that’s something very sensitive and i do stand by the fact you should have been warned since the beginning) and you deserve truth. i just can’t help thinking they love their spouse more, obviously, so even if they liked you, you’d always be a bit of a backup? considering they didn’t meet you while being with their spouse, how do they know you’ll be welcome around? it might be noisy to ask for the terms of their polyamorous relationship (maybe they just do whatever they want but never introduce a third person within the marriage), but oh well... i’m so confused too, sad and even a bit hurt for you. i remember how hard you told me you were falling for that person and this does change the situation completely. 

this time, i am left with too many questions to give you any advice, so instead i’ll just suggest you to come back to my askbox asap if you need someone to listen again. you are in a really tough situation and all i can tell you is to follow your heart & your mind. if your heart desires this person but your mind knows something is fishy and might potentially bring you a lot of pain, compromises and sacrifices. you said it yourself, you know you can’t be in this kind of situation yet you’re stuck in it and this is so unfortunate. i really wish you the best and i hope to hear from you again. i was of absolutely no help today, but my IM and askbox are always open for you to stop by and talk so more. i hope the best is yet to come for you and that things will clear up slowly without you suffering too much. i wish you an amazing week and never hesitate to come back! it made my day to hear from you again. i appreciate you too! 

this follows that previous answered ask and this one too!