#I try to improve on whatever I can when I make time to draw ;w;

[archonghoul]

Your art is so beautiful! 🥹

Aaa thank you so much!! 😭💖

[arkaix]

Hello again, Arkaix! 👋 I was just wondering to ask - and I hope it’s not too much of a bother - if you by chance had any tips on drawing hands? Hope this sentiment doesn’t come off as odd or anything, but I have been personally using artworks like yours as references/inspiration more often when it comes to hand stylization as I draw more and find a better flow in improvement. I typically study yours because I really like the way you (seemingly from what I’ve observed) are able to keep things very well-flowing with each other but also relatively simple but still convincing in a cool shaped and cartoony way, everything usually seems to fit into each other near-perfectly due to the simplicity and flow of the direction of the fingers and hand posture

(Hoping these little scribble-annotation-things make better sense at what I’m getting at, heheheh)

I was just wondering if you had any tips on how to practice hand stylization such as this? Like especially the way they look so different from: different angles but typically make sense and flow well. With my personal art/art style I’ve been trying to get at the more “expressiveness and shape language work wonders” approach at things as I always admire those types of cartoons, and your drawings always seem to be very expressive in the way they’re posed. Apologies if this ask feels like a lot or a big ask or something like that, just curious if you had any personal insight on this type of stuff.

Thank you for reading my little cartoon-and-animation-nerd ramble/study/ask lmao, hope whatever your time of day is is going well/goes well in the near future!! 🫰

Aaaaa sorry I saw your ask only now w(ﾟДﾟ)w Ok first of all, I'm honored that someone got inspired by my drawings, akkdjrjdkehdjejw *giggling* but if you really want to learn how to synthesize the beauty of hand gestures I've got two words for you:

Milt Kahl. That man is a legend and a big inspiration for me. Whenever I feel lost I go back to study how he stylizes hands in the films he worked on. Just look up: "Milt Kahl hands" on google and you'll find his works (here's an example⬇️)

I'm still learning, but I usually try to remember these things in particular when drawing hands:

I encage the fingers in an outline to see if I like the general shape

I follow arcs

sometimes I group the 3, 4 and 5th fingers together and let the index finger take the lead

I try to take a photo of my own hands in the required position to study it

Hope this sketch helps ⬆️ Also ✨✨here's a video that explains really in depth how to study hands ✨✨ You're already doing a good job by focusing on Shape and Flow like you said. I hope this can help (o゜▽゜)o☆

[kkbardd]

hi! popping in quickly.

I absolutely adore your artstyle and your ocs. their personalities and stories are always so interesting, and I look forward to seeing any type of art you post.

If you take a break from drawing asurei, that's completely okay!! doing things with joy is more important than just doing them. I will enjoy whatever you draw regardless— in fact, I regularly go back to that drawing of the unnamed pink haired girlfailure OC and her "friend" daily. i am mayhaps their number one fan.

please continue sharing your stories and ideas!! I adore your characters and designs so much. I am very excited for your toxic yuri freeloader/assassin story.. they are very interesting!!

also saw you did some dialogue in japanese.. do you speak it ? im quite interested in any language so.. apologies if this is off topic ><!

In any case, thank you for continuing to create. I love your art and hope you continue to draw what makes you happy and what you feel motivated to do. I love all your art regardless of subject matter!! in fact it convinced me to to start watching madoka magica :}

best wishes !! hope you're well!!

wahhh isopod !! u always send me the nicest asks when i need them most!! i hope ur doing well ~ although my last post sounded pretty depressing im actually doing pretty well too! im going to the aquarium next week w some friends so im looking forward to that more than anything >:D

I've been reading a lot of short yuri stories by Toyo Totan & Iwami Kiyoko lately and I'm excited to use that inspiration to improve some of my own OC stuff too! (I recommend 'Last Summer Vacation' !)

And yes I'm fluent in Japanese !! I'm actually an officer in my college's JP language community & I used to translate manga on the side !! I'm completely self-taught through videos though, so while my listening and speaking are fluent I actually suck at reading LOL I'm so bad that when I translated manga I'd use my camera's text to speech to do everything...

I'm a huge language nerd too! I watch a bunch of scientific videos/TED-Talks on how our brain learns languages and tips to learn things more efficiently! For example, apparently when you first start learning a language you should never try to speak it right off! If you try speaking before listening for a very long time, your brain just kinda solidifies your verbal pronunciation and it can have long-term effects on not only how you sound, but also how you HEAR sounds! This is also why some think that children learn languages better, because they spend a long time exposed to it while being non-verbal. I love this fact bc I kinda experienced it myself!

I spent about 2 years just watching JP translated videos of people speaking naturally (not videos aimed at foreigners, nor shows that have acting, more like vlog-type stuff!) and only started speaking when exposed to others who could speak it too ! Especially during COVID, I think I was pretty much spending ~80% of my day listening and thinking in Japanese so I was very immersed! And because of that, I'm a little famous in my community for having the best pronunciation 😤 Going to on a trip to Japan & translating for the people who went with me also boosted my confidence a lot! I'll never forget this guy at an izakaya who asked how many years I've been living in Osaka LOL ("three days actually!")

I think the biggest downside though is that once u learn another language, ur first language skills get bad.. i often think up half-sentences and sayings/metaphors in Jap that just sound wrong when you try to translate it back into Eng ;;; i sometimes trail off when i speaking because i forget the english word for certain things, but my friends are now just used to my weird metaphors so!

I went on such a long tangent!! But anyways!! Thank u for always sending me the sweetest asks, I always save them to my phone and I'm pretty sure all my friends know abt u bc I always show them the nice things u say 😭!! And yes!!! Madoka is so good, especially the movie so im excited ur gonna watch it!! I hope u like it!

and finally for their #1 fan <3 :

[alymccart]

Hello! Could you possibly give a humble peasant like me some anatomy advice? The way you draw bodies and hands is just *chef's kiss* ;w;

I wish I had an easy answer for this... but for me what helped a ton was drawing A LOT. I've been working on this skill seriously for probably 25 years at this point. I am my own worst critic and know I have so much I can improve upon. VERY IMPORTANT, drawing from life (or photographs/video stills/screenshots/etc, *not tracing, photography distorts shapes*) has got to be my number 1 suggestion for how to get better with anatomy and drawing in general. Since it's hard to get out and do that a lot, my back up is photos. I particularly like finding photos and videos of athletes mid-motion because they are far more dynamic than staged photography). The studio classes I attended in college where we spent 6 hours just drawing models over and over again were a slog to get through, but the skills honed in them were invaluable.

I've gotten to the point where I can sorta fake it and come up with anatomy from my head, but I always try to find some kind of reference to back up my mental creation. REFERENCE is KEY. It is so so so important. There is no shame in using it, and I don't see the point in making a huge deal about *not* using it. That was a pervasive thing floating around back when I was active on deviantART a long time ago and it was not good.

Another thing to consider paying close attention to with regards to reference is drawing what you see, not what you THINK you see. Brains form biases that will interfere with what you're trying to draw. I've flipped references upside down to force my brain to recalculate as I go for this reason.

Any step, no matter how tiny, is a step toward improvement. Even just going out to a park or something and sketching whatever crosses your path is great. Or you could do the same thing on the computer while you watch videos or look at photos. Animals, people, trees, plants, whatever. It'll all help you improve. And don't worry about accuracy at first! Just draw whatever gestures come to mind. Like 99% of it will look like scribbly garbage (it did for me and a lot of my peers) but it does help. Hands, in particular, are really hard. Very early on in my artistic path I realized this and kind of became obsessive about drawing them properly, so I drew a *lot* of hands. Whole sketch pages of just hands. The great thing about hands is that you've got your own! You can just draw the hand in front of you, or take a picture of the gesture you need and use that as reference. Many places will have studios open to the public where you can do model/life drawings (some nude, so if that's a concern, be sure to check first). Some will be free, or you'll have to pay some kind of fee (they need to pay the models). One free online resource that's good is Posemaniacs.com. I highly recommend the 30 second drawing tool, wherein you only have 30 seconds to sketch out the reference before it cycles to a new, random one. The extreme time limit forces your brain into overdrive and it is shocking how quickly you can improve as a result. We did this in school, as well, with live models. They'd just switch up poses every time a timer rang. I could probably go on for hours about this, there's a lot of jumbled thoughts coming to mind, but I think this is a good starting point. Persevere, don't seek perfection, and treat yourself kindly because this is a skill that requires a lot (mentally and physically) to hone and it isn't easy. Every artist has their ups and downs, but I think it's worth the struggle to be able to create. I really hope this helps! Thanks for the ask! A little bonus snippet: Back in high school I was *terrified* of drawing people because I sucked ass at it. I was garbage. Absolutely refused to do it. I drew animals and dragons and gryphons and stuff and when I started angling toward my career I had assumed I would continue in that direction. Nope! Now I'm drawing pretty much nothing but people/humanoids and I love it.

[markbandanawitts]

A Full English Translation of Mine Yoshizaki’s 47 Question QnA 🔥🔥

— Near the end of the 11.5 Guidebook, Yoshizaki sat down for an exclusive interview with Shonen Ace (The magazine that serialized Keroro Gunso), where he answered some personalized questions about himself

I’ve translated all of them along with giving some context to certain media references in this w attached links. he’s talks exactly how you’d expect lmao

Q1: Yoshizaki-sensei, people often seem to think you’re a woman.

I guess it’s because my name reads as “Mine.” When I chose it, I only had the image of Ryuta Mine in my head. But judging by Keroro’s behavior, I think it’s pretty clear I’m not a woman (laugh)

Q2: What was the first manga you bought?

I had my uncle buy me one copy each of Kiteretsu Encyclopedia and Obake Q-Taro. I used to borrow Doraemon from a rental bookstore.

Q3: Do you still have them?

Nah, even if I did, they’d be unreadable by now. I reread them so much they fell apart.

Q4: Do you have a favorite place to read?

I haven’t been reading too much lately, but I love to in a quiet, cozy café.

Q5: Has anything recently made you feel like you’ve been tricked?

Actually, yeah. Not too long ago, a friend took me on a small trip. We hopped on the highway and drove quite a bit, and I had no idea why we were going where we were; but it was fun, so I didn’t think much of it. Later, when I got home and watched the episode of Kamen Rider Hibiki that I’d recorded that morning, I realized the episode was filmed in the exact spot we had visited! My friend hadn’t said a word! It caught me completely off guard, but honestly, it kind of made me pretty happy too.

Q6: Is there a character you look up to?

Oh, definitely Saeki-san (laugh)

Q7: Keroro’s gotten really popular. Anything about that make you happy?

Hearing that everyone involved with Keroro is having fun working on it is what makes me happy.

Q8: On the flip side, anything tough about it?

It seems like working on Keroro is also kind of exhausting (laugh)

Q9: If you could be any character in Keroro, who would you choose?

Maybe Poyon-chan. She seems so nice and fluffy.

Q10: Who would you like to live with?

I’d say the new characters, Alisa-chan and Nevula.

Q11: Why them in particular?

I feel like we could have a nice, quiet time in an old Western-style mansion.

Q12: Is there any invention from Kururu that you’d want?

Oh, definitely that one thing for making Gundam models!

Q13: What’s your favorite part of the manga drawing process?

Definitely when it’s finally completed (laugh)

Q14: What’s the toughest part?

Getting started (laugh)

Q15: What do you think of the illustrations in the first volume of Keroro?

What do I think? Well, it was my best effort seven years ago. There's something beyond just thinking "it's bad." Especially for Keroro, since I challenged myself to break my previous style and start from scratch, so there are definitely some awkward parts in there.

Q16: When do you draw the cover illustrations? At the beginning, in the middle, or at the end?

The inking is random, so it varies every time.

Q17: Do you pay attention to differentiating characters?

Sometimes I intentionally try not to differentiate them visually. I make their personalities distinct, so that can create a sense of difference. I’ve even tried going against silhouette theory a bit, which is directly reflected in characters like Keroro.

Q18: Which is more fun to draw, Keronians or Earthlings?

Keronians’ round eyes are a hassle, and Earthlings have too many lines... It’s a toss-up (laugh)

Q19: What about secondary characters? Which ones are fun to draw?

Every character becomes lively as soon as I draw them, so it's fun. To me, they’re all waiting in line to be drawn!

Q20: Any tips for drawing something you’ve never seen before?

Draw with your eyes closed!

Q21: Do you do anything to improve your drawing skills?

Since I started working, not really. I draw every day, so whatever I’m bad at stays bad, which can be a bit of an issue.

Q22: When creating a manga, do you start with the characters, story, or setting?

The theme. Something that instinctively feels like "that's it!" The rest comes after that.

Q23: When do you come up with story ideas?

I thrash my ideas around, trying to come up with something, and eventually, once I reach the mandatory state of resignation, it comes to me (laugh)

Q24: Which takes more time, storyboarding or drawing?

Storyboarding!

Q25: If you had to sum up the feeling of struggling to come up with storyboards in one word?

Ugh.

Q26: What’s something essential while you work?

Coffee, probably.

Q27: You’ve never taken a break from publishing, but do you ever want to? If so, when?

I always feel like I want to! Every single time, no matter what!

Q28: When do you usually draw your manga—morning, afternoon, or night?

My schedule is all over the place. I live on a 25-26 hour cycle, so when my timing is off, it tends to mess things up for a lot of people. It makes planning pretty difficult too.

Q29: What’s your favorite manga that you’ve drawn so far?

Definitely Keroro Gunso.

Q30: Do you think you’re better suited for one-shot manga or long series?

Considering the amount of ideas on my brain when working on Keroro storyboards, I think I’m better suited for long series.

Q31: Are you currently thinking about your next manga project?

Ideas come and go, honestly. Right now, I’m putting all my effort into Keroro!

Q32: Do you like your own manga?

When it comes to Keroro, I like it without hesitation.

Q33: If you were an editor, what would you tell yourself?

“You can take a three month break if you want.”

Q34: Are you comfortable with drawing manga in front of people?

I’m totally fine with it! But in reality, I usually work alone, holed up in my workspace.

Q35: Do you do anything for your health?

Not really… It’s bad… I feel like I’ve been sending out SOS signals lately (laugh)

Q36: Do you have any stress relief methods?

I never considered myself to be stressed, but recently my eye started twitching, and apparently, that’s a sign of stress. I was kind of surprised when I found that out!

Q31: There are 24 hours in a day, but how many hours would you really want?

48 hours would be great!!

Q38: Is there anything that influences your manga drawing?

I’m most influenced by the general atmosphere of the world around me.

Q39: How would you describe the feeling of racing through Okutama on your bike?

Yahoo!

Q40: Anything that’s stuck with you or left a strong impression recently?

The insurance commercial with soccer commentator Matsuki has really stuck with me… As for things, I’m obsessed with the NSF100 motorcycle— I want it so bad!

Q41: A memorable quote that’s stuck with you?

“Ramen is long and delicious!” (I have literally no idea what he’s referencing here my bad guys)

Q42: Since getting your cat, Mac, has your life changed?

My lifestyle hasn’t really changed, but it feels like my heart’s OS has been upgraded by about three versions!

Q46: Do you like traveling?

I like it, but I haven’t gone anywhere recently. If I could, I’d love to go with all my friends.

Q43: What’s the most wasteful thing you’ve ever spent royalties on?

Royalties, huh... (laugh) The other day, I saw a Keroro bath towel in a UFO catcher machine, and I had to get it. I ended up blowing ¥2,000* and still didn’t win it. I wonder if my royalties will cover that…

*this is like $14 😭

Q45: What are the things you love the most?

The Earth, my wife, and Mac (my cat).

Q46: What’s the most shocking thing you’ve experienced?

When I first moved to Tokyo, I saw an elementary school kid at Yotsuya Station wearing a backpack and smoking a cigarette. I thought, “Wow, Tokyo’s scary. Maybe I should just go home.” But I’m glad I didn’t because I became a manga artist (laugh)

Q47: What does drawing manga mean to you?

It’s about making people happy. That concept hasn’t changed since I was a kid making hand-drawn manga for my friends in elementary school.

Anddd heres my impressively terrible scans of those pages just in case anyone wanted the source

[birdstooth]

Drawing MASTERCLASS

lol jk thought I’d show some of the process here in case your other favs aren’t online and u have a couple of min to waste while waiting for the bus

🎵Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair🎶

On the left, u have janky first draft, and on the right, u have less janky second draft😅. Depending on how much time I spent on draft 2, I might do a final cleaner version, and then then add colours :)

My hard limit for a doodle/comic is 3 drafts for reasons that I will go into below, but basically I find that if I try too hard, it triggers the perfectionist demon and then it’s not fun anymore lmaoo

For me, 2-3 drafts is the balance between making something I can look at without cringing, and still have fun drawing lines and shapes.

Also it’s ok to have a very very, objectively bad first draft. My brain is like Swiss cheese so if I spend too long trying to get something down on (virtual) paper by making it look nice, half the idea floats away before I can make a record of it.

So first of all, since this is the unofficial website for ppl with crippling anxiety (roll call! 🙋‍♀️), just thought I’d say: if u are on the fence about posting your [content] online, go for it!!

I used to look at all this really cool [content] (art, writing, photography w/e) and be like “wow, that’s some good content! I’ve got a long ways to go before my content can reach that standard!”.

Or sometimes, I would see amazing content with very few notes and think “whoa, if this extremely accurate recreation of the Mona Lisa made with used gum found under park benches has only 12 notes, it’s not really worth posting what I have, right?”

But then at some point I decided that it was easier (for me) to make stuff that was vaguely funny instead of “good”, so I stopped trying to draw the perfect shapes with the perfect shading, etc. and just went with like, the minimum accuracy required for an object to be recognizable lol.

I’m not saying don’t chase your dreams or whatever, but try not to force yourself into a style or content type that doesn’t suit you. I have a short attention span and a zillion ideas, so for me, it’s actually much more satisfying to make these goofy little doodles bc I can do quick sketches between procrastinating at work, or while I’m watching my dinner rotate in the microwave 🥲.

When I was in my “every drawing must be perfect” phase, I would spend hours on making sure the proportions were realistic, and the lines were clean, and spend days or weeks in a single piece. Some people are suited to this kind of work and have the patience to see it through, but for me it was very unsatisfying and sapped my motivation so I decided to be realistic about my abilities + the time I have available to improve my skills (I think this is very important bc u might have the patience and the work ethic to practice, practice, practice until you are at the top of your game, but if you have a job or school or other obligations, it might not fit into your schedule) and do a kind of compromise.

Yeah, I’m still envious of other people’s content and no, I don’t think my content is the BEST I can do, but it’s a balance between doing what I like and getting satisfaction out of it. Sometimes, if you push yourself too hard, you end up hating what was supposed to be a hobby, u know?

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e23 brother's keeper (w. jeremy carver)

so here's what i'm gonna try to do. shelve all those ugly feelings about how they handled charlie and (hopefully) not let it completely ruin watching this episode (and the show). i have too much emotional investment in sam and dean to want to walk away entirely, but i also don't want this to turn into a hatewatch.

but gonna say again what a shame it is sam is giving this impassioned speech to cas about saving dean when i can't appreciate it nearly as much as i could have a few seasons ago.

SAM Dean guessed! Cas, What are we supposed to do, huh? Just sit on our asses, do nothing? CASTIEL No. We find Dean. SAM And then what?! The only thing that stopped Cain was death. Do you want to kill Dean? Because I don't. And the only way I know how to save my brother is to cure the Mark. And, yes, I know there will be consequences, but not you, not Dean, not anybody can tell me what those consequences are. So I'm not gonna let my brother destroy himself on a guess. We save Dean.

finally someone as mad as i am about that trope, about how they jump to conclusions and make decisions off bad or no information constantly. really fucking grinds my gears. so, thanks, sam.

DEAN Well, they let her leave the house looking like a whore.

even when will graham's brain was melting, he wasn't a fucking asshole. jesus. dean wasn't this horrible when he was a full fledged demon.

maybe i'll paint rowena some day. she's so pretty and i do love drawing red hair. working on another one of gillian at the moment.

also was wondering the other day if crowley wasn't witchy enough to do the spell. before sam tried to kill him, that is. cooperative-ish somewhat human-ish demon witch who has (apparently) an actual soft spot for the winchesters. obviously wanted to keep rowena on the board and in action but

my tolerance level for this particular variant of asshole dean is at a zero. read the script and fast forwarding this awful interview scene with the parents.

SAM Cas, take this. It's Dean's hair. You need it for the spell.

contemplating how he even got much of his hair. i have hair of a similar length to dean's and i don't need to brush it. maybe he uses something when he styles it? i just use my hands with goop. the only time there's much of it around is after i cut it. so did they have it on-hand already? stockpile of their various leavings. little apothecary drawers of sam and dean's respective locks of hair and nail trimmings.

oh so now they're gonna show the "dark thoughts, creepy visions, violent urges." (10x21)

aha, i have seen this in gif form a number of times. context. everything continues to be fine

CROWLEY Who summons anymore? Couldn't you call? CASTIEL You're not in my contacts list.

all right, that got a small chuckle out of me

kinky

not this again. (5x18) skipping self destructive and going straight to suicidal.

i really enjoy julian richings as Death, and he and jackles play off each other really well. but this trying to make a deal with him, some new made up bullshit about how *dun dun DUN* if no one has the Mark some unspeakable evil dark miasma will destroy everything, it's tiring. reminds me of some improv game where as they pass the story down to the next writer, they have to play off whatever scenario has been set up.

DEAN Brother, I'm done. SAM No. No, you're not. Dean. DEAN Grab a pen. It's time to say goodbye.

i thought i was done with suicide trauma related triggers for the season. silly me

hello improv game. yes, rando dude working at the diner is the immortal oskar of rowena's past. of course.

DEATH Even if I remove Dean from the playing field, we're still left with you, loyal, dogged Sam, who I suspect will never rest until he sets his brother free – will never rest until his brother is free of the Mark, which simply cannot happen, lest the Darkness be set free. Then there was that time you stood me up.

think that's technically on dean, not sam

DEAN Remember when we were in that church, making Crowley human, about to close the Gates of Hell? Well, you sure as hell were ready to die for the greater good then. SAM Yeah, and, Dean, you pulled me back. DEAN And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it. SAM No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean. DEAN Why? Because we -- we track evil and kill it? The family business? Is that it? Look at the tape, Sam. Evil tracks us. And it nukes everything in our vicinity -- our family, our friends. It's time we put a proper name to what we really are and we deal with it. SAM Wait a second. We are not evil. Listen... We're far from perfect, but we are good. That thing on your arm is evil, but not you, not me. DEAN I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you --when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world. SAM You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. DEAN No, there is no other way, Sam. I'm sorry.

halfway convinced me they should have ended this several seasons ago, reunited in heaven and be done with it all.

when dean was beating the shit out of cas i was wondering when sam and dean were gonna get into it. well.

SAM That's enough. Hey, that's enough. You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good. But you're right. Before you hurt...anyone else, you have to be stopped at any cost. I understand. Do it.

i know i'm especially jumpy about dean being ready to die, but sam who i tend to be more bonded with these later seasons, he's ready to die for the greater good quite regularly. or when he thinks it's time. or whatever else. but his comes from a place of being (theoretically) logical and rational, whereas dean's is the opposite. and i guess that's why it pushes my buttons so differently.

all that said, i haven't cried like this from a finale in some number of seasons. but it feels greatly cheapened by the inane plot hoops needed to jump through to get us here.

sam nodding to give the go ahead to kill him is crushing.

i know dean kills death at some point, which is a shame. i'll miss his actor. but i'm guessing now's the time

it's giving twister (1996)

i hate that all this was essentially setup for the new big bad. but we can't have the sam and dean show without these kind of plot hijinks. and trying to come up with new bigger badder bads over time just makes it more and more ridiculous. the reality that there's 5 seasons left to go is really hitting me now.

[wandaluvstacos]

BRIGHT DAY BLUE DAY CHAPTER 25 IS NOW UP

In the city of Yukiktrum, the hierarchy is clear even when the laws are not: Alphrim rule, betsra serve, and ometki bear young. Claiming a part of the city is easy, but keeping your territory is not, so Alprhim like Chramkut govern with talon and tooth. Maintaining power means control access to ometki, and by selling access to both them and their eggs, Chramkut has turned Themself into a ruthless and wealthy warlord.

Untkra once served as Chramkut’s prime ometki, but that time has passed, and Untkra has been replaced by someone younger. After one failed escape, it was only Untkra’s history with Chramkut that saved them from execution. Untkra knows that getting caught trying again will get them executed, but Unktra is willing to sacrifice everything if it means leaving the conflict-ridden city of Yukiktrum behind. This time, Chramkut’s prime laden ometki wants out, and they’ve begged for Untkra’s help. Untkra is done bearing offspring Untkra will never meet. It’s this way or death.

However, the desert landscape beyond the walls of Yukiktrum is hostile and unknown, and there’s no guarantee that there’s anything out there worth escaping to. What Untkra may not be ready for is what hope lays beyond the dunes, and the redemption that a new home can offer. Yet when another ometki needs saving, Yukiktrum calls Untkra back in what could be Untkra’s most daring rescue yet. 

Genre: Sci-Fi

Rating: 18+

T/W: This story is dark in nature, and while nothing explicit is ever shown, there are repeated references to rape (including underage), sexual slavery, and I suppose what equates to child trafficking (is selling eggs considered child trafficking?). There is also violence, murder, drug use, and prejudice/bigotry. This story also contains the trappings of a/b/o. It’s not so closely married to the trope as most a/b/o fics, but it is quite obviously based on it. 

Excerpt:

They moved to walk off, but Akche jumped forward to touch their arm before drawing back like Untkra had slapped it away.

“Sorry,” Akche muttered, glancing away. “I just… I wonder what this makes us.”

Untkra didn’t understand, and it must have shown on their face, because Akche continued.

“Are we friends? Or… maybe after all of this there’s more to it? I’ve been wondering all day if you resent me for this.”

“I don’t resent you,” Untkra replied matter-of-factly. “I don’t see how it changes anything.”

“You don’t think it changes anything? That’s… oh.” Akche shifted their weight, as if they could not stand still. “That’s good. I think?”

Untkra had never seen Akche so unsure of themself. Untkra didn’t get it, but they also didn’t want to waste time having it explained to them.

“So we’re going back to the way it was before this,” Akche said.

“Of course.”

“Which makes us friends. Or friendly acquaintances?”

“We are whatever it is you consider us to be.”

Akche nodded, even though Untkra could tell they didn’t fully understand. Untkra didn’t know what was so confusing. Sex was sex, a means to an end. Akche had helped Untkra out of a difficult situation, and they were appreciative of that. Akche had done Untkra more favors than any Alphrim before them, and the sex had been… not awful. It hadn’t left Untkra feeling nauseated afterward, which was an improvement on its own. Usually when Untkra emerged from their heat they began to remember it all in a much darker way, but Untkra felt fine. Light, even. If Akche wanted thanked for that, Untkra could do that. But did it make them closer than they’d been prior? Untkra didn’t think so. They’d fucked more Alphrim than they could count. Whatever Untkra felt about it, they’d learned to bury it.

“I think I’m going to take a nap,” Untkra told Akche.

“Right. Ha. Yes.” Akche stepped back. “Don’t let me hold you up.”

Untkra nodded and headed back down the corridor, leaving a slightly slumped Akche behind.

[yakeisoda]

Hello, just wanna start this off by saying that I love your art. I've decided to ask my favourite artists for art tips as I wanna get into it, but no matter what I do it never looks right. So, any tips?

HELLO TYSM!!! ngl i dont think im the best 4 this question im also kinda in a rut rn where im not really satisfied w my art n craving more progress and improvement but im getting there somewhat but very slowly! (ive been this way for a rly long time naow) this might be long but im gna try n throw in the things ik, sorry if my thoughts r messy im not the best in articulating stuff :')

i think a good way to start off is to find out what skill you lack the most or what you want to improve the most on, say for ex: u wna focus on getting better at composition for illustrations, then a good way to improve them is to learn about the composition rules (ex: rule of 3rds, etc), look for any scenes in films/animation or photographies and storybooks , study them and recreate it! go crazy !! ive done a study on a friend's picture before, and have asked my friends if i can use their photographies as practice!

looking for inspiration will also improve ur visual library, they can help u find what u wna put in ur art ! like perhaps certain color palettes or styles, it's best to look at different mediums of art instead of focusing only on one, sometimes u can find techniques meant 4 u! (ex: of this is my friend who used to be a watercolor artist, ive observed them using watercolor techniques when they were still new to digital art! basically mix n match whatever feels good/convenient 4 u :] )

disciplining urself is also good to have more improvement! i have trouble w this the most ever since bc its hard 2 focus if no one is like there to monitor u (in my experience), if u rly wna make progress u have to squeeze in some art practice time in ur schedule, it can be around 15-30 mins or even 3 hrs, completely up to you! (rmb to take breaks!). you can give urself deadlines if that will help n maybe timers too!

my prof always said "Proper practice makes perfect", so it's also best to practice with a clear goal in mind, take notes on the things u lack and if ur watching any art tutorials/speedpaints, take notes of those too! it's good to have something specific in mind so u wont get lost n u wud know what u wna do! it helps u retain info as well so u can look back on stuff, to avoid overwhelming urself u can just focus on small bits first, ex: in anatomy, u can focus on the head area first, break it down to drawing eyes and noses, etc! then u can move onto the torso area!

USE REFS!!!! make use of pinterest or any other refs u can find, cannot stress this enuf go crazyyy w references, make a moodboard full of referencess n go crazzyy w them!! i used to not like doing this bc i just head straight in to drawing bc thats what i was used to but art college trained me 2 use refs bc they help so very much, theyre like ur guideline for what u wna make so u have a clear goal in mind, also photobashing seems like a great practice too never tried it but yes it can help when ur planning an illustration/concept art!

^above also applies to art styles! go crazy n experiment w them!! i think its so very fun to explore diff art styles n not stick to 1, again this depends on u but having a different range of artworks is rly fun, u can go from very pastel soft colors n style, to smth very vibrant n sharp, to smth like dark n chalky-sketchy kind of vibe if im making sense T__T, basically go wild!! go crazy!! dont let urself sit in 1 box! hop into other boxes !! or wear all of them!! or poke holes in the box n add stuff to the box or wear a circle!! trust me it looks so fun if u put different artworks uve made side by side n go wow i did that!!

also create small thumbnails 4 illustration! its really best to plan ahead art too, as i said i used to just head straight in n not plan but ive learned to absolutely enjoy planning making art! collecting refs n seeing what kind of composition goes n what colors wud work is so very fun actually! it rly helps a lot

theres also this one post i lost the link, but basically it shows how much progress u can make if u make loose sketches vs full on rendered illustrations vs a mix of both, again this depends entirely on u bc things r different for everyone! i think that post is really good for teaching abt art progress (if any1 knows where it is pls do link!), i think focusing on sketches n practice is better tho bc it helps u draw more freely n loosely! i think that speeds up ur process more as well n doesnt make u lose interest immediately compared 2 focusing on finishing 1 big rendered illust (talking from experience) but then again its different for every1 so honestly just experiment n see what feels right for u!

i wna say tho that although it is good to make sure ur drawing looks right its also good to just let yourself draw freely, i think what matters is that u understood the structures of something and as long as ur able to apply that in ur own way i think thats gud! i think drawing freely helps u draw more fluidly? like having more expression is what i mean. ive gotten into the "i have 2 make this look right" hole before n i noticed it made my art look stiff, so highlyy recommend doing gesture drawing n life studies! rmb to have fun when practicing n learning,

dont pressure urself too much! enjoy the experience :] ! messy sketches r good!! not everything has to look good or perfect! my sketchbooks from way back were just doodles, pencil sketches no color mostly, theres an occasional lined one w markers , ballpen, n some highlighters, n my drawings were either smth funny that happened w me n frens with our personas or making ocs for my faves or ocs for me in general!

ur sketchbook doesnt have to look pretty its like ur diary but its art ykno! ur thoughts in visual form for the day! (again all up to u as long as u have fun! its all different 4 everyone!)

anw tysm again!! sorry if this was all over the place HAHSAW i tried my best but these r the tips i keep in mind most of the time or the ones i hold closest to me n that i try to apply as much as i cud! if u need anything else clarified just lmk! not the best w words but hopefully it helps :'')! most of the stuff i mentioned here i also need to take into practice HAHWHAW so mb its gud 4 me to write this down so i can finally push myself to do stuff,

[hypherr]

Hi, I am contacting you because I saw you mentioned somewhere that you have adhd, and I was wondering how did you still reached such incredible level. I have adhd too, and drawing has always been my passion also. But despite a whole life of practice, and doodling almost all the time, I always had a very hard time to understand anatomy and other technics, and because of adhd, I can’t focus neither motivate myself consistently to learn technics. I am also very inconsistent to draw proper illustrations, and also struggle to get things finished. Because of this, I have the feeling that I will never improve, and I gave up my life dream to become an illustrator. So, I was wondering how did you reached such incredible level despite of adhd difficulties, and if you had some helpful tips. Best regards.

Hey dude! Yeah, I can totally give you some tips that worked for me up until I got medicated :D I know a LOT of folks have to deal with ADHD, so I’m more than happy to try and give you some advice. 

I will preface that I tend to hyperfixate on things like drawing, so I put 200% effort into learning about it and I enjoy trying new methods of painting/drawing/whatever else. It’s still moreso reliant on the individual artist, but the below list is what I do and have done that kept me going:

Make studying into something that is interesting. By that I mean you don’t have to simply draw/study a pose for life drawing, you can make it interesting by drawing a character in that pose/doing that action so that it becomes something you’re more invested in instead of something you’re doing to just get better. I usually draw my OCs in the poses that I’m studying from pinterest or whatever, and it makes the process a lot more fun -

Do what YOU want, not what others say you should do. Not every style or process is for everyone. Stick with what interests you and it’ll make your ADHD brain happier. Getting trapped into the idea of “Oh, I should be good at line art” or “Oh, I should be really good at drawing in X style” when you’re not really interested in either of those things will bore you to no end. Personally, I settled with the fact that I don’t have patience for line art, I loathe using opaque brushes, and I despise having a million layers on my paintings. SO, I don’t do a line art pass; I just clean up my sketch layer which becomes my line art, I don’t use opaque brushes, and I keep my layers really limited. My way of drawing and painting is kinda unorthodox and I always have to explain it to clients when I send WIPs (I’m srs the way I work confuses ppl, especially non-artists lol), but the end result is always what they hired me for, so there are no complaints. Plus, I am MUCH comfier drawing and painting in my own “unique” way, and they’re cool with that. **NOTE: I still recommend checking out tutorials and such, but don’t feel like the artist who created the tutorial is god and that you must follow their teachings to a T. Ex. I love the artist kawanocy, and I have some Patreon stuff from him. His art process is too slow and clinical for me personally, but I still take bits and pieces from his teachings to incorporate them into my own workflow/my own art hacks. -

Only study when you want to. Naturally this doesn’t apply to you being in school for art (sometimes u gotta cry and just study away for an assignment), but if you’re not in the mood for drawing/studying, just don’t do it. It’s fine to take some time off!! I’ve had periods of months w/o drawing, especially during summer when I was in Uni. Sometimes you need to wait for inspiration to find u again -

Study from artists you admire and it won’t feel like studying.  FIRSTLY do not steal from artists you admire, just study their work. It is fine to trace AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT POST IT AND/OR CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN WORK. DO NOT DO THAT. I REPEAT, DO NOT CLAIM TRACED WORK AS YOUR OWN WORK. IT IS NOT YOUR OWN WORK. IF YOU POST TRACED WORK, YOU ARE STEALING ARTWORK AND BEING DISGRACEFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL TO THE ARTIST. Tracing is fine for STUDYING ONLY because your hand follows the path of the original artist’s hand and you get a literal feel for how they work and where their pen goes. I don’t rlly do this anymore, but I used to, esp when I wanted to do some low-brainpower studying.  The main point of #4 tho is to not be shy abt taking bits of ppl’s style and using it for yourself. Ex: I really really REALLY admire the art of  @/xafeelgood on instagram. I am particularly in love with the way they draw bodies and faces. @/chenbearpig on insta has an amazing style too, and I love love LOVE the way he paints. @/kawanocy has a very beautiful rendering style, and his lighting is v dramatic and impactful.  Obvi there are more ppl I admire than just those 3, but those were a lot of my inspirations with art when I was in uni, and they helped shape my style and made me excited to keep pursuing art and trying their styles/painting methods. You have to find artists who make you excited to keep going, and just study their art a bit, or watch a speedpaint to see how they make such glorious art. It is really fun and I always enjoy trying to breakdown how they do their art stuffs so that I can try and do smth similar!! -

Don’t give a fuck about how fast other people draw, how good other people are compared to you, or your follower count. The most helpful thing I told myself this year that has sent my career and drawing/painting ability into the next level is, “I don’t care.” So what if other people are better than me? So what if I’m not the greatest artist ever? I’m still good. I’m still getting paid. I’m loving art again. I’m still trying hard. I’m just not getting that worked up abt art anymore. It’s HARD to not give a fuck, I know that, but it’s only art. It’s really not that serious. It’s not life or death. You’re just here to have a good time and work towards getting better at illustration/drawing/whatever, yeah? It’s so cheesy, but we all have our own paths to take to get to where we want to go. I have died inside realizing that people who are like 16 are 100x better than me already. I used to feel like shit and like my progress didn’t mean anything compared to how amazing other people are, but now? I just don’t care. I’m doing my own thing and I’m vibing and enjoying my drawing time, and that is all I can hope for!!

That is all I can think of right now u3u I guess a final note to leave off on is that all of these tips probably won’t 100% work for you, and that’s totally cool. Again, it’s highly dependent on the individual, but I still hope some of these thoughts and suggestions can help you find ways to make drawing fun and interesting for you. 

I hope you keep drawing and illustrating, my dude u7u that is the best way to keep getting better

[arbustorum]

What helps you break from sameface syndrome in art?

i know ive heard the phrase but i honestly dont think ive ever actually took at that seriously or cared about it all. The only time i remember thinking about it was getting the compliment that was like "its like you have the opposite of same face syndrome" and i still didnt really get it. So sorry if this is a long response that doesnt help at all but ur getting my essay because this stuff bothers me.

first time i saw it used in a way i think makes sense was back when i saw the frozen critique thing going around tumblr. They literally have the same face as each other, the main characters, and as their mother, but male characters NEVER have this issue, in the SAME media(show, movie, w/e). My solution to that is just simply...stop designing your women the same. If you need to, design a male char and then sex bend it trying to change as little as possible and see if that helps you notice how ur accidentally limiting yourself for your women. Most of the time the problem isnt "same face", its that we dont give women the same depth of expression and variety of design. whole other essay but yeah...

In that similar vein. Same face feels like a...way to avoid calling it sexism to me in the art. It then is used by all artists to just find a way to shit on art styles without actually providing useful critique. "Same face" is actually quite beloved and marketable.

Simplistic designs could be called "same face" which belittles the fact that designing minimalistic and aesthetically pleasing designs is quite difficult. These designs are distinct, recognizable, and very beloved. They are cute and nice to look at! These are actually so well designed i hesitate to call them same face but i wanna try and show the "two dot eyes and a mouth and dot nose" could be called same face. But with limited elements, each face is actually clearly distinct. Even the twin guys lala and kiki, (altho if u make them both smile and they wouldnt be but u get it)

Another minimalistic design that relies heavily on minute differences in the face(as well as other elements of the design) to distinguish them.

i like these examples because perhaps the average tumblrina might agree that everyone thinks sanrio looks good, and might say they dislike homestucks style, but they use similar design rules.

here is another example of a style some might just consider ugly or lacking skill(im a personal fan and dont agree but hopefully u get what i mean). A distinct part of his style is making every character have distinct eyes. probably for the same reason i find mobpsycho 100 and homestuck styles charming and pleasing, they cannot be accused of sameface(atleast not to me ill come for you LOL). This may be a kind of fundamental reason i dont struggle with it, im a particular fan of this method of design. It just is a part i focus on. it was never a concious choice i made as an artist.

Some artists find different elements pleasing or enjoyable to draw, and same face is actually quite beloved(and marketable) its not the end all be all design rule is my point... examples of beloved styles where its quite easy to switch the faces around and it may become difficult to tell it has occurred.

heres another style people consider ugly but doesn't have same face(again, im a fan, so it really might just be a thing i like in art, also yes the women are more similar but this rule does still apply to his women...just with much less variation :\ see again my original "same face obscures sexist design choices" point)

so yeah TL;DR i dont believe in same face as a fundamental design flaw, you should draw whatever you like and improve things you are personally dissatisfied with.

TL;DR 2 (ACTUALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION) "i want more variation in faces when i design" treat eyes, noses, lips, forehead height, face shape, chin, eyebrows, eyes, hair coverage, moles, freckles, dimples, cheek bones...(and whatever else you can think of) as all different elements and include more variation of them. experiment.

im not a professional i am self taught and just some lady these are just my observations and opinions.

[space-hair]

don’t read this even though it’s on me for putting my cringey thoughts in public u_u

i am trapped in this never ending loop with art and more and more i just wonder what’s the point anymore. if 9/10 times i’m not having fun and am actively hating every moment what am i even doing. i know exactly everything that i’m struggling with and yet unable to get out of it. i really struggle with change and hyperfixations and all or nothing and so i have a few small things i let myself watch/read/get into because i’m terrified of losing my few hyperfixations and if i leave it’s gone hard and the fear of change keeps me desperately clinging onto my little safety blanket of medias i let myself watch/etc . on top of it because of my memory issues i am losing more and more of the little content i do even have, so i end up rewatching/reading/etc just to remember it all . and i’m trying really hard to branch out and watch/read new things but i’m constantly overwhelmed and just feel so stupid over it but at the end of the day i’m just such a repetitive creature mostly cause of mental uwuness and it’s killing me every art way. i know that if i just let myself consume anything outside of the 5 things i do it could open me up creatively so much but it’s also so terrifying. and the unknown is just horrific in any media, so i get too scared about not knowing cause i just always need to be prepared for things and you can’t when you’re getting into new things and all that. and then it’s like. i have been trying really really hard to get into a bunch of new things, and nothing. like there’s no creative spark or new incentive to draw new things there’s no inspiration at all. and whenever i do try to make something new i get so attached only for there to be nowhere that i can talk about my things and innevitabely they just die a few days and it just feels like all this lost potential. cause i’m just alone and there’s nothing that can really be done about it. i always feel like going back to when i only let myself have one oc because the inevitable death of creation just haunts me. i have horrific projection of life onto inanimate objects and knowing i created something and it’s just gone sucks. also my artstyle sucks. like it doesn’t suck conceptually i’m a fine artist but i can’t let myself go anywhere because of repetition and fear of change. like i have it in me to improve but no motivation or inspiration and the scariness of difference and change is too much to bear so i draw the same shit over and over and cannot escape it and how can i wonder why i feel so disasstifisifsifeied with art. i don’t know if it’s even truly lack of consumption that leads to lack of newness and inspiration , if its that i’m really struggling mentally and it all spills out into art, or if like the hard reality is maybe i’m just dragging a dead horse trying to always draw. although i don’t think art will ever leave me it’s like . i spent my whoel life learning about art and constantly drawing and improving and it’s like. is that it? did i just spend all this time and it’s just done? the sparks of wanting to draw become fewer and fewer and more i have to draw out of obligation or whatever. because i’m an artist. so i have to. and i want to, it’s just that i don’t want to. there isn’t an hour in a day that goes by that i don’t think about art or drawing or feeling guilty if i don’t and feeling shitty if i do and i guess like that’s not mentally healthy but it’s like all i have in life. love other things like knitting and violin and all that but it’s just a hobby that i like and it doesn’t give me the same happiness art is supposed to but doesn’t anymore. it’s all so dumb anyways. i am trying to read dungeon meshi and i’m like... i’m terrified to do it because i don’t want my previous hyperfixation to leave me because i just shape my life around certain things cause it’s just what is keeping me going or whatever. also i am so stupidely dumb even just sound effects of noises or whatever is killing me. i don’t wanna see drool even in a comic because i’ll puke. and it’s like idk i’m too uncomfortable to be a good artist anymore. i can’t get over myself enough to create art.

my biggest love and hate with art is design. i love to design characters and ideas and whatever else but i can’t help but get sucked in and too attached but then after a few days there is nowhere else for it to go so it fades away which just sends me into such a depressive panic every time. i want to design but every time i end up crying because i just can’t . do anything with my designs. i don’t even want to in theory, i just want to design and create . but cause i made oc’s now everything has to be something and hwen it’s not i just get so upset. its’ embarrassing but sometimes i just can’t do anything for months because of attachment struggles.. i have a pencil or a package container that is on my room floor and i feel like it’s just a part of the room now, the pencil likes being on the floor and it would feel sad if i picked it up so i cna’t. i know it’s stupid it’s just not something i can easily break out of . i draw full things in not even 5 minutes, fully lineart/colour/sahde etc pics can take me no more than an hour. so designing something where a lot can be built onto it is great because i try but can’t draw slower even when i’m realy trying. but then i get too attached and eventually nothing more can happen and i hate it all.

i just wanna draw and be happy :( rant over cause i’m going to have a panic attack over having to change my tissue box because i have severe mental issues

[kovulwa]

9/13/2024

I've been struggling a lot recently w/ imposter syndrome and also just a general feeling of spiralling.

I need to put my thoughts down, but I find it difficult to do so. I don't feel motivated in any way, I know the act and action will be healthy (ultimately) but the urge to dissociate any time I'm by myself is too strong.

So I'm out in the world, being a thousand different someone elses for a thousand different someones. And all of them feel inadequate, like I'm putting on a performance for a role I never asked for and couldn't play even if I did ask for it.

I'm 32, I have no skills to speak of. I dropped out of high school, moved away from my hometown, and bummed it in the service industry before moving into manufacturing where I still make a living. The things I used to love to do, I am hopelessly mediocre at, time has made me foolish and insecure.

I would like to change all that, and I don't really have a good idea of where to start.

I need to practice guitar if I want to improve.

I need to write more if I want to improve.

I need to draw more if I want to improve.

And then I think. Ok, so you spend the time getting good at the things you love. Then what? Shouldn't the act be fulfilling in and of itself? That's what I think, plainly. But my thoughts convince me out of this, that actually, as long as I am forced to work a menial job, what good is my art except a pacifier for myself?

and I started making art because I am terminally unable to connect with other people. I want to, but I don't know how to talk. Or act. And when it does work, I find myself immediately regretful. Exposed.

Maybe more than ever it's just this cascade of hopelessness and despair. I've seen it my whole life, or been aware of it, rather. But it's stronger now than ever before, that feeling like spiritual acid rain. We are all trapped in a meat grinder, we are standing arm and arm inside a giant compactor and the walls get tighter and tighter.

So I have to sort my thoughts and separate the strands and keep it from becoming this great big fucking knotted thing that weighs me down entirely and keeps me unable to move or act or think, a brain fit only for bare routine.

But I don't want to be that way, I don't want this to be who I am forever until I die. And I don't want to choose to die rather than stay in the routine, a grim thought I have hourly if not daily.

So here are all the things I'd like to do creatively, somehow, in no particular order, before I succumb to bad thoughts or get in a car wreck or whatever.

"I Am the Chasm" - Coven Brothers is my band, and I would really like to write and record the second album. The first was ok, I think I made a lot of mistakes and bad calls and I think you can hear every single one, but I need to try again. I have a better formed idea of what I want the record to sound like and how to tie things in thematically, so I can't give up on this.

"A Serious Kid" - This was my idea for a solo album, something more introspective and gentle than the previous entry. I have quite a few songs written for this, but I need to flesh out arrangements and actually finish writing out the ideas I had for this record.

Practice drawing. Self explanatory, but for context. I'm not an artist, visually anyway (or in any other regard, depending on what day you ask). But I've always loved visual art and was envious of people who could bring life to images. I should look into foundational drawing texts or classes or something to help me get started, but in the meantime I have two hands and a sketchbook, so I can work at it.

Write more prose. When I first moved to Portland, back in 2014, I had a pretty rough go of it. I was in a relationship that was bad for both of us, I missed the people that I left behind even though they very often hurt my feelings and made me feel excluded. Under this backdrop, I began writing a novel. I don't know why I thought I could do that, and upon sharing and editing and getting feedback for a period, it's been pretty much left to rot in a binder somewhere in my desk. But I've often wanted to revisit it, blow up whatever I had written down and try to string it back together into something good and worthwhile.

Write more poetry. I'm actually doing ok on this one, though like any creative pursuit in a vacuum, I have no idea if what I'm doing is any good or not. But I have been bringing my moleskin to new places, any time I'm out of the house, and writing a few short lines at the very least. Sometimes it feels effortless, and I find myself writing a few lines or stanzas and other times the moleskin goes unopened entirely.

I also need to get therapy.

I think that is a funny last line for this post.

[iamfuckingsorry]

I've been thinking about my old art club teacher recently.

This is something I never really thought about back then, but I think she influenced my life more than I realized.

For context, I went to this art club thingie from grade 2 to grade 11, and would have continued if I hadn't moved abroad at that point. It was like 3-4 hours a week at the local art/music school - in my country you don't have clubs/extracurriculars at school but instead there's another "school" kind of thing where you can go do extracurriculars after school, or independent sports clubs for kids run by sports organisations. The non-sports ones are subsidised and cheap af and it's where you go to learn to play an instrument, sing, do art, improv/theatre, dance etc - basically learn skills that can in some way be tied to "culture" or w/e. So I went to this club/class/whatever thingy because I enjoyed drawing when I was 6-7 and then kept going cause why not.

And my teacher was just like... the most chill person ever. She was really good with kids, treated everyone like a tiny human with a personality instead of like someone who had to listen to her (which is what my actual schoolteachers did). Would have casual conversations about her life and the TV shows she was watching and shit with us even when we were like 8. There was this one kid that was a couple of years older than me who was writing theatre pieces and short stories and she'd discuss them with him and give concrit and brainstorm with him and give suggestions on what to do and who to talk to if he wanted to get into writing/theatre more seriously (she had a second job doing backstage stuff at the local theatre). I didn't really learn any art skills except for what you learn by being forced to draw for a couple of hours every week, but god this club was the only place where I could really be myself. Three to four hours a week, I could be as weird as I wanted to be and no one cared. I'm not sure I'd say I looked forward to it per ce - I didn't really look forward to anything at that point in my life and I'm sure I skipped some weeks just to lie in my bed instead - but it was just... nice, y'know?

And in hindsight it was obvious she was a bit lost in life, just trying to do what she liked doing. She was fat and single and not planning on having kids and lowkey broke. She wanted to go to an art high school as a kid and wasn't allowed to, so after she graduated she applied again and did the 4 extra years required to get this art high school diploma. She worked like 15-20 hours at the art school and then another maybe 15-20 and then she sold art and crafts stuff at markets and stuff sometimes to make ends meet. She dyed her hair bright red and orange sometimes back when unnatural colours were still really unusual and sometimes wore clothes bordering on what you'd see at a ren faire. I think she must have been in her late 20s when I started and close to 40 when I left, but she'll forever be 37 in my mind for some reason.

And looking back knowing what I know now, I am so sure she was a fandom person. She was into House MD and X-files and LOTR and Stargate and NCIS, and would have hour-long convos about the shows with some of the kids. She was very into Sean Bean to the point her sister got her a life-size Boromir cutout and also into Jeremy Renner, though I can't remember any specific shows with him in that she liked (it wasn't the Avengers stuff - maybe MI?). I remember her going to the capital for a movie premiere once or twice, and travelling abroad to see her favourite actors from time to time. I'm pretty sure she talked about something that I can now identify as writing fanfiction at some point.

And I was very into fandom myself by the end too, I was going to cons and shit, roleplaying with my online friends, hanging out here on tumblr and shit. I had a friend in the club who was into Supernatural just like I was, and sometimes we'd spend half of the club talking about SPN, reading the new episode summary together every week waiting for the episode to come out, discussing, me talking about fanfic sometimes (something that my friend was /not/ into). I wonder what she thought about that lol.

Anyway.

My point it just... I never knew another adult who was into the same stuff as me as a kid growing up. Like sure, my mom was a massive sci-fi and fantasy fan, but not in a fandom way, and she didn't really enjoy discussing things. And I never knew another adult who genuinely didn't seem to care what other people thought about them, in a good way - she was fat and kinda weird and broke and she fucking rocked it, at one point she got a phone call from a friend who needed to talk about a Stargate episode and she fucking answered and talked to the friend for like 15 minutes. And I never knew another adult who chose to do what they wanted to do instead of doing what was expected of them - getting an education, getting a good job, maybe settling down and having kids. This lady was just like, nah fuck that, I'm gonna go to the goddamn art high school even if I'm gonna be like 24 by the time I graduate, and I'm gonna get this horribly underpaid part-time job at a theatre because I like theatre and the people who work there, and I'm gonna spend half my day talking about this TV show I really like. And she had so many stories about people (especially teachers at the art school) being unfair or shitty and her standing up for herself and not taking their shit.

And I never had a role model growing up, but slowly approaching my 30s and looking back... I think maybe I did. And I wonder what she's up to now (still teaching at that art school and working at the theatre, I could google that much), and I wonder if the fact that she was doing okay meant that I will do okay too.

And I hope we keep fostering places where little lost kids like me can meet cool weird adults who were exactly where you are now 20 years ago and who made it through and are living their best lives now.

[sofiajoymanalili]

All About Me!

Hello! My name is Sofia Joy D. Manalili, but you can call me Sofia for short. I was born on December 15, 2005, and I am 16 years old. If you ask me what I enjoy doing in my free time, I would say I enjoy watching movies or series to keep myself entertained. I prefer horror and thriller films over classic romantic films because they keep my adrenaline pumping. When I'm not in the mood to watch movies, I like to draw random doodle arts or make bracelets out of beads as an alternative; I enjoy listening to music, primarily Kpop, while doing these activities.

Something odd about me is that I enjoy organizing and doing household chores. While some people avoid these activities, I find that they relax me and give me peace, especially when I'm stressed. I also enjoy dancing because it energizes me and improves my mood, despite the fact that I'm not particularly skilled at it. I think I couldn't go a day without dancing! I am also a crafty person who enjoys doing arts and crafts, especially decorating, because it allows me to use my brain while doing an activity and challenges my creativity and patience.

In terms of food, I could say that I'm not a picky eater; whatever you put in front of me, as long as it tastes good to other people, I'll try it. But my favorite food of all time is crabs, which I could eat every day and never get tired of. Mangoes, oranges, and apples are my favorite fruits. I could say I have a sweet tooth. I used to play kitchen sets as a kid and dreamed of becoming a chef, but as I grew older, I realized it wasn't the right career for me. Now, I aspire to be a dentist someday, hopefully, in God’s will.

source link: https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fcreazilla-store.fra1.digitaloceanspaces.com%2Fcliparts%2F36706%2Ffilm-movie-clipart-xl.png&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fcreazilla.com%2Fnodes%2F36706-movie-projector-film-and-clapper-board-clipart&tbnid=eOlfK4s1tIYZcM&vet=12ahUKEwid_-q7rrr6AhUNS_UHHe0aBZ0QMygMegUIARD_AQ..i&docid=y1C-tOaVMeKjkM&w=1920&h=1499&q=movies%20clipart&ved=2ahUKEwid_-q7rrr6AhUNS_UHHe0aBZ0QMygMegUIARD_AQ

source link: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fangeloakacademy.org%2Farts-crafts-taster-session%2F&psig=AOvVaw1A65AoT7FNIolOCH3RnKOZ&ust=1664553129963000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjRxqFwoTCMDW_oauuvoCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAH

source link: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fangeloakacademy.org%2Farts-crafts-taster-session%2F&psig=AOvVaw1A65AoT7FNIolOCH3RnKOZ&ust=1664553129963000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjRxqFwoTCMDW_oauuvoCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAH

[rawrroarart]

Hi everyone, semi-important update regarding this blog and why I don't post as often. I say semi because if you're just a casual looker of my blog, you can disregard this because nothing in my blog will change and I'll still be here.

But for the rest of you interested in reading more, I do have a lil potential treat at the end of this post, but it's a little long-winded to get to that point since I'm going to vent a little about my art. Though whether you read my ramble or not, you are free to claim the treat at the end (it's only a potential treat because it's based on if you even like it LOL). I'll be posting in the LWA tag, as I pretty much am a LWA blog, but I do apologize for clogging the place with something a bit unrelated, and this should be the last time I do it

Anyway if you're still reading let's get to it:

So obviously I've been dead in my blog and I hardly, if ever, post art. Now I guess it's normal to see something like this for blogs, as life gets in the way for most people and things just start to faze out. Circle of life or whatever. But truth to be told, I am still very much interested in drawing often, and as of late my life isn't even currently "in the way" that would prevent me from doing so. So why aren't I posting more frequently or even drawing at all if even on my own?

Drawing isn't fun.

That's really misleading, but let me clarify: I have too high of an expectation for myself, and with so many people watching, I get overwhelmed and even nauseous really about not churning out my absolute best All the Time. My situation obviously isn't unique or special or anything, and is of absolute no fault to you or anyone else following me. And I know, of course, no one is telling me to always churn out 100%, but it's the fear inside me to not disappoint even one of you, and I try to be a perfectionist and people-please all at once. Trying to draw like this isn't fun.

Aside from that, I also have huge issues regarding "spamming" people with my posts. This is a honestly stupid issue because no one is forced to follow me, and I know people are here because they want to be here, but I just can't help but feel bad when I post too frequently, especially combined with content that's subpar. Even this post alone I feel guilty about, since no one really "signed up" for a whole rant about inadequacy, but I figured it would be good for me especially for what treat I mentioned earlier.

These two issues together make up part of the whole sha-bang of my standstill. I get stressed if my content isn't up to standard and I get stressed if I post too often. So I just do nothing. And the more I do nothing the more stressed I get about having to be even better than the last time I've drawn, because it's obviously been so long that I must have improved on my own! (I haven't)

Anyway what does that bring us to? What is my attempt of a solution? Something obviously needs to happen to fix this, and I just want to have fun creating content again. So here's the "treat" that I mentioned earlier: I have a new art blog or should I say a doodle/scrap blog, and you are free to join me on my new journey.

How is this different from my current art blog, you ask? Well for one thing, it's going to be mainly for doodles, blurbs, anything I want really. The real kicker is that I also won't be tagging my posts (maybe occasionally if it's funny enough), so they shouldn't reach a bigger audience and spam the designated tags they would be in (like LWA). I can also more appropriately convince myself that, if you followed me, you especially are consenting to a bunch of posts (if I even post that much ha), and I'll also hold a soft spot for you LOL

You also don't have to follow me, as I'm sure a lot of my doodles will make their way to my art blog here, but in the form of one singular post labeled "doodle dump" or something. So no ones really "missing out" on anything. Following the new blog just gives you first access to whatevers going on with me

Note: I will still be posting art I put a lot of effort into on this blog!!

Of course this is all experimental, and it could all just go to shit, but I want to try to do something to get out of my slump. And before you ask "why can't you just draw without posting," it's because I thrive on validation also which is also why I get put in a standstill LOL. So yes please follow me if you'd like, I would be happy.

On another note, I'm also planning to purchase an ipad to actually have a better way of drawing, as my current digital art set up is really janky, laggy, and off-putting that it makes me not want to try either. But apple's art app looks so nice and seems perfect for me. I've set up my kofi to accept donations with a milestone if you wanted to lend a helping hand. It should be linked in my bio!

Anyway yea thanks for reading this far and supporting me. I'll do my best to keep producing content and improve my skills.

Tl;dr If you're here for the "treat," I have a new doodle blog but you consent to no thoughts head empty if you follow it. I'm also looking to buy an ipad sometime.