#I try so hard to be American for this stupid fandom

[bunnys-kisses]

Hello Bunny!! I'm not too sure if you do works based on pro wrestling. But if you did, I'd love love love if you did something for Maxwell Jacob Friedman (AEW). Feel free to totally delete if you don't want to do it or know nothing about it!

If you do accept it, I'd love s'mores, belgian waffles with a side of dark hot chocolate and bubble tea! (I hope you can see my vision!)

Tysm <333 - 🤼

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? hit up the menu! c'mon, it doesn't bite! i accept prompts from across many fandoms and i'll do whatever at this point. as for this lovely anon, thank you for submitting a prompt! i know sometimes it can be a bit confusing about sending outside of the traditional fandoms. but honestly, i'm willing to dig my hands into figuring out how to put this together! so thank you! enjoy!!

and feel free to check out the master-list!

s'mores ("The accent gets to you, doesn't it?") + belgian waffles ("i cum in that every night.") + dark hot chocolate (sub!reader) + bubble tea (daddy kink) served by maxwell jacob friedman (aew/wrestling)!!

cw: smut/pwp, mean & cocky!mjf (duh), rough sex, daddy kink, sub/dom dynamics, dirty talk, voice kink, face-fucking/oral sex

you'd never consider maxwell a bully. even when he got in your face, you always tried to stand toe-to-toe with him. there was something about him, something that drove you to want to push him to the limit.

but if you bit, then maxwell returned the favour til it broke bone.

"The accent gets to you, doesn't it?" he said with all smiles, pointed and venomous. his face close to yours, if things were more softer, then the scene might have been intimate.

instead you pushed him away by the forehead and replied, "honestly. your voice is the reason why the rest of the world thinks americans are stupid." you'd grow to regret your words.

"you are so cute when you squirm." he shook his head, a smile on his lips as he leaned a little forward to get a better look at you, "sometimes a girl's gotta know her place, huh? making a sick joke out of me in front of everyone else."

he loomed over you like a storm cloud as you knelt between his legs. your mouth stuffed full of his cock as you tried to keep it together. his hand was in your hair, forcing you to go down further.

"i should really start going around and saying '"i cum in that every night.' because i don't want people to get the wrong idea about you. oh poor you, dealing with me every day." he gave you a look of faux sympathy, "they probably think you're the one who pulls my leash. no, no. you have it all wrong." he pushed up into your throat a little more, "i have you on a short leash, don't i, baby girl? you like when daddy yanks on it a little too hard. you like getting choked, and don't you deny it." your gaze met with his and drool coated your chin. you couldn't even speak back.

perfectly at maxwell's mercy.

he continued to rub his cock up against the back of your throat. it felt good, he had spent many months trying to face fuck the gag reflex out of you. and it seemed to be working.

"see, you look better like this, angel. on your knees, my cock in your throat. quiet. you always look better when you're not being a snappy little bitch." he groaned as he continued to fuck your throat. he hissed through his teeth as he kept his gaze on your head.

your eyes were closed, but he knew that they were a bit dewy. someone can only choke on cock for so long before they start to cry. as was the nature of things.

you gagged a little bit, but maxwell just pushed a little farther. you gripped onto his knees. your nose buried in his pubic hair, when you inhaled, you took in the scent of his sweat. which both disgusted you, but also made you slick between your legs.

maxwell was the kind of domineering that left you with aches and pains. he liked when his smacks across your ass made the flesh shake or when his hands made a pretty necklace around your delicate throat. the bulkiness of him pressed down on you to keep you pinned under him.

he moved you to his liking, twisting up his baby girl in a way that got him off. but don't worry angel, daddy would make it all better in the end.

he took your mouth off his cock for a moment and gazed at your blissed out expression. even your tongue hung out of your mouth a little. the sight made him chuckle, "see, you can be a good girl for daddy. i'm so proud... now why don't you prove yourself to me and finish me off." then leaned back into the couch. he patted his thigh, "c'mon. if you're gonna act like a brat and talk back to me. then i gotta bruise that little throat of yours so you keep quiet." he smiled at you and you felt pleasure lick at your gut.

if anyone saw and heard what you two were doing. the sickening words that maxwell was filling with your head. then it would definitely raise some eyebrows. but you swallowed and rubbed your bare thighs together.

for you, it was hot.

you got your mouth back on his cock and didn't even flinch when the blunt tip of his cock hit against the back of your throat. you made a small whimpering nose and maxwell hissed through his teeth.

"pretty fucking thing. yeah, you like this don't you? you like when guys who could crush you fuck your throat until they get their sick kicks. i bet i could throw you to the rest of them and you'd be happy to let them fuck you into next week." he clutched onto your hair, "but too bad for you, slut. because you're not going anywhere."

not that you wanted to. you were perfectly content with this bared fang sexual experience. you let him throat fuck you and you held onto his legs. you tried to keep up, but it was hard.

maxwell's pace was erratic and it made flashes appear in the back of your head. he knew he was close. he could feel the tightness in his gut as he continued to bully his cock into your mouth.

"dirty girl. fucking dirty girl. just take me nice and good, okay? take care of your daddy and he'll make everything else better. okay? can you do that for me." he groaned as his pace became more erratic.

he knew he'd have the rest of the night with you. by the end of it, it would be more than your throat that was bruised. he gave it a few heavy thrusts before he came down your throat.

you made a small noise as you tried to swallow it all down and maxwell stilled to a stop. he kept his cock in your mouth for a moment, letting it rest on your tongue. he wished his phone was near by, he'd love to make his lockscreen a picture of you like that.

he rubbed your cheek with more affection than anything else the entire night. he took his cock out of your mouth and watched you rest your cheek against his thick thigh.

his dewy eyed little princess. it was almost cute. he patted your cheek and said, "alright, let's got you up. come here, come to daddy." he said as he helped you into his lap. so naked and vulnerable.

you rested up against his chest and gasped for hair. having a limited supply for so long made it all a bit too much. but yet you were soaked against his strong thigh.

maxwell promised he'd make it all better. he wasn't a monster, he'd always make sure that his baby girl was alright. <3

[laxibbeb]

Don’t worry, it’s truly been a week for us all. And not to flood you with asks, I just happened to have this ready at the same time as your snippet:)

I’m a fan of those Greek mythology retellings (although I haven’t finished Song of Achilles because I know how it ends and I’m scared of getting hurt). And I don’t know if you’ve ever read Gods of Jade and Shadow, but it was interesting.

Ninth House is fun, it has that mystery vibe to it while still being dark urban fantasy. Which is a genre that I don’t typically enjoy?

Also I enjoyed Too Good to be True. It was interesting trying to figure out each character’s motives throughout the book.

Have you read Priory of the Orange Tree? I loved it, but I ran into the same problem as you. I had a massive book hangover and haven’t been able to get into the second one yet 😂

I…am hesitant to tell you one of the things I’m pretentious about. I think it might give me away. I can tell you it has to do with one of my hobbies, though! For the other, I can be a bit of a snob about wine. I love a good Sauvignon Blanc. Truly immaculate. (But YES! Let’s be pretentious bitches together. That’s truly the dream. It’s also what Mor x Nesta could have been but anyway) haha maybe I’ll indulge both of us and write that someday 😊

Ooh the weaver? I see the appeal! It’s hard to pick one for ACOTAR because most of the characters are already hot. Andras, maybe? Dying for the sake of the plot? What a guy. Although I guess he’s not special in that regard, if you think about it.

I’m so sorry I just started talking😂

For non ACOTAR? I’m going to be honest I didn’t think about this either, so I’m doing the same as you. Uh, this is definitely a popular one, but that one fish from finding Nemo. Gill, I think his name is.

I can verify I am not one of the two people in the fandom who can understand that reference. Unsure if that narrows anything down for you (so I’m going to narrow it down even further and tell you I’m American)

I feel like these asks keep getting longer and longer. I don’t know what that says about us.

Anyways!

Do you have any favorite fics? They could be for any ship, honestly. I also enjoy Nessian and sometimes Feysand, and am open to other ones too.

Do you play any instruments? (I don’t think I asked this already?)

santa ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 i hope you flood me with asks, i love them

oH MY GOD i do that too, where i leave a book when i know it'll get bad 🫢 i'm scared to proceed with other books form "The Poppy War" for an example, because i have a vague idea of what will happen and i just. i just can't i've not read "Ninth House", i wanted to but not gonna lie, i'm scared i won't like it.. leigh bardugo hasn't ever done it for me before

i wanted to give something new of hers a try, though! so maybe?

"Too good to be true" is actually going on my tbr now, especially since i promised myself i'd read more thrillers (and haven't but shhh)

i HAVE read priory, (i have like, 80 pages left, but i'm GETTING TO IT so let's say i read it for a moment) it was so good! but yeah, the second one is gong to have to wait

(i would absolutely read an 800 page long, day to day account of tané's life, though)

---

OKAY, a wine snob??? that's so classy and sophisticated of you, santa (might i say - hot) i'll wait for your other pretentious thing, that's ok see! you see the mor x nesta potential for what it really is... divine and so, so sexy if you ever decide to write mor x nesta i'll owe you my firstborn, actually

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OH MY GOD, THE ANDRAS SHADE (i wish the most important man in the acotar series had a single speaking line, not gonna lie)

okay, here's the thing - i've watched nemo one time and, stupid me i thought that was it, so i deleted all the memories i had of this movie. little did i know people would be referencing it for the rest of time i googled gill the fish from finding nemo and you know what? i GET IT. it's his slutty fin swoop

---

you know what, if you said that you recognized what i was talking about, only then would i have IMMEDIATELY known who you are

i now have 3 pieces of information that could possibly help me in figuring out your identity, and let me tell you, it doesn't narrow it down that much 🤣 so you're in the clear

---

I BRING FORTH MY FAVOURITE FANFICTION:

i cannot have a favourite fics list without mentioning @separatist-apologist, as she's the reason why i'm even in this fandom to begin with, so even though we all know this already -> take your pick and it's my favourite ever

what lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why by @foundress0fnothing THIS ONE IS SO MUCH FUN, and it has bi lucien; what more could you want

Springtide by @clarafae i've been really enjoying this one and i'm not done with it yet but it belongs here, ok i did not think i could like high lady of spring!elain but turns out i just needed a good fic

also, i've started A Blaze in the Dark by the famous @the-lonelybarricade and i can already tell you it belongs here as well

lately i've been reading a lot of azris, actually!

Just Enough Light to Cast Shadows by @jules-writes-stories (if you're reading this because ot the tag, jules please know i haven't forgotten about you, I'LL COME BACK) anyway, i love this one and i've been having so much fun reading it

i'm due a reread of Kerosene by @chunkypossum which is my absolute favourite and changed my life, actually

AND there are so many more but i need to finish replying to you before i turn 80 years old, unfortunately

---

i do not play an instrument :(( i used to really want to play the violin when i was a kid but when i asked my mom if i could attend music school she got war flashbacks and said she wouldn't put me through that (she also said i have no predispositions for doing music, which wow, thanks mom (she was right) 😋) so no instruments for baby laxi but i like to sing in my car when i'm driving 🤣

---

we're writing love letters to one another from across the sea and as the time passes they get progressively longer we just need to embrace it

it got to the point when i'm putting dividers whenever i change the topic to make it easier to read 🤣

as always, santa tell me your answers too, please!! and have a

[poeticpains]

Does anyone else ever think about how fucked up it is that the setup of Escape the Night has us talking about who "deserved" it?

You see it in the fandom, and in the show itself, too — where there's discussions about who "pulled their weight" or who did the most for the team, with the implication that those who didn't deserve...what? A horrible, lonely death? To never see their families and loved ones again?

"I'm going to vote for [X], because they didn't pull their weight," is literally saying that someone being foolish, oblivious, and/or lazy is a mistake that should be punished by death.

Or the fandom, as they say that, "[X] wasn't doing very well, so they deserved to be put into that challenge."

And, look, I do not legitimately believe that anyone in the fandom or the show would ever be okay with someone dying because they couldn't figure out a riddle — I'm one of the ones screeching about how your fannish participation is not morality, and what you enjoy in fandom, or say about fictional characters (or fictional personas of real people) is not, in any way, reflective of your actual beliefs. Let me be abundantly clear: it doesn't matter to me who you think "deserved" to die, because nobody died, and at the end of the day, it's a fake web series.

...But that doesn't change that I think Escape the Night is a perfect encapsulation of the way that manipulation works on humans. As they say,

“1. Man is a MORAL animal. 2. You can get human beings to do anything — IF you convince them it is moral. 3. You can convince human beings anything is moral.” — Frank Bidart

In ETN, and especially in Season 3, the guests were convinced that voting people to die was the morally correct option. After all, world annihilation (and their own life) was on the line. Isn't that worth a little blood on your hands?

But it's hard to convince your average person that killing other people (or sentencing them to death, I suppose), if those people are otherwise innocent of severe crimes, is moral. So the situation sets it up using two things that are highly prized: merit and fear.

The fear is the easier option to discuss; it's the same point I made earlier regarding world annihilation and their own lives. (And, of course, it's easier to control scared people than it is to control people who have their wits about them. Manipulation 101.)

Merit, of course, is the entire point of this post. Many of us, I would hazard a guess, grew up with the American justice system, wherein death is an appropriate punishment for certain things. In ETN, that category is just stretched a little wider. Someone missed a clue? Well, they must be stupid — so they deserve to die.

And yes, I am defining voting someone in as tacitly saying that they deserve to die, because that is the unspoken consequence that could happen to anyone who was voted in.

Anyways, back to merit. Before every death challenge, barring the special ones, like the Witch's Challenge in S3, there's literally a discussion where the guests are supposed to defend themselves and prove that they helped. And if the court of public opinion decides you didn't? Well, off to the chopping block with you, my friend — your performance was unsatisfactory, and therefore you deserve to be beaten to death/buried alive/whatever terrible fate awaits them that episode.

But isn't that absurd, when you think about it like that? It's like having a shitty coworker that never responds to emails and takes 45 minute lunches. That's basically it. That's what these people are dying for.

Literally everyone on the show is guilty of this, even fan favorites like Matthew, so it's not like I'm trying to call guests out, or anything. I just think it's a really fascinating look into the way that humans can be manipulated into being willing to kill other humans.

Maybe someday I'll write something more in-depth on this.

[rowanthestrange]

i just read the entirety of your Rogue is the Bad Guy essay, and i’ll admit, you’ve convinced me, but not that he’s the Master, but that he’s trying to cosplay the Master cosplaying whoever. Also, it was really long so, like, i’m asking with full concern: are you okay? it just seemed like it took a ridiculous amount of time /lh

What I think is the case, probably 51% the Master. Just squeaks it.

What I want is Chuldur/Pantheon member ‘The’ Rogue cosplaying the Master cosplaying Jack. I’d prefer it by a very large margin. A huge one. But as to whether I think it will happen, I give that 49%. But that’s still good odds.

(I’ve got a lot of Pantheon!Rogue feels, ideas, and desires and have had nowhere else to put them yet, and this is a valid place to share them, rip. And to anyone else who followed the first Essay, let me convince you of my secondary Sub-Thesis in it.)

I’m giving that seemingly crazy high 49% despite the risky complexity of double-layering, because A) that was the Ruby resolution: she cosplayed the bird cosplaying as her - we’ve done it already and everyone got it.

And B)…Is actually complicated literal-meta but hear me out. Since they’re the only other writers this season I think there’s a very high chance they’re forerunners for next showrunners. I know at least one has high level management experience, and if they were given that as a test to do highly complex work to cut their teeth, this would be an incredibly good test that they passed imo. The Master is in themselves hard to write but necessary to fully comprehend because even when not present they are a lynchpin of the show. Here you’d have to write him well. But also effectively set up two twists (that he’s the Master, and then that he’s not he’s just pretending he is). You have to establish a Pantheon member - make an important part of an overarching narrative. And link together with other writers current and past. As well as create a good story with all functioning meta, on multiple levels.

The second you let Rogue be The Bad Guy the complexity of literally everything skyrockets anyway. (And one of the reason I’m a little annoyed that people want to believe he’s so flat - it does the writers a deep disservice to just think they wrote Space Darcy and there’s no shared metaplot there). But while Russell likes a certain amount of simplicity — Occam’s Razor 51% Master — RTD2 has been having fun with more complicated stuff, more prior-knowledge and using that, more thinking needed if you’re going to get the answers early. I think if he was going to give future showrunners something hard to do this would be it. For me Chuldur/Pantheon!Rogue is the pinnacle of that while still being perfectly possible to pull off to casuals without too much brainache. ‘The American accent guys, come on.’

I certainly think they have seeded all they need to, obviously can’t grade without seeing the full execution. And they certainly succeeded in writing ‘the Master’ well. Rewatching that ending? That actually got to me. And I’m a wall. I hated him which is what makes an actually good Master/Master-Proxy - you can neither go too far with that or the character becomes too unenjoyable (Simm!Master), but also too little with the hatred being turned almost entirely into pity (fandom), or even just they’re pretty purely enjoyable (Missy - but she’s an odd duck anyway), also robs them of something essential. This is pitched very well. Test passed on that score.

If my preference and height of percentage seems confusing, to me it makes no difference when talking about them whether he’s the Master or The Rogue perfectly playing the Master. Because if he’s perfectly playing him, as his Pantheon power should presumably allow him to do, it tells us about the Master anyway, so I don’t actually feel any need to differentiate most of the time. Certainly in The Essay it seemed stupid to bog it down with that and risk confusing the people still on ‘but he’s a good guy’ where it wasn’t necessary, because all arguments stay basically the same for a perfect copy. I trusted the reader to apply the level of abstraction themselves for the most part, only coming in with that where I thought something could be particularly relevant/missed in regard to that specifically. Muddying the issue with too repetitiously focusing on ‘remember it called also be a perfect Master cosplay’ and that seemingly complicated (even if I think valid) double-layering didn’t feel like the right call for something where just Rogue Is Playing The Bad Guy was already a hard sell to who I wanted to reach. Ymmv.

The only things that give me pause are that 1: The implication that he’s cloaked seems very high - the earring interference, psychic scents can mask real ones, seeming lack of recognition by allies (until the end I think - they shut up while he’s doing the scene rather than threaten or beg for their lives) etc. The Pantheon seem to have a lot of reality twisting powers. You wouldn’t need to, surely? You’d need to have a reason other than ‘same devices too close’ for that interference which starts the whole thing at minimum and I think ‘he made it happen for the Doctor to come over’ is too cheaty. And 2: The Bag. Why would you need to pack a bag and ensure you have it on you at the end if you can just snap your fingers?

But could be that it actually just contains his dice and he’s a stickler for doing things manually - think of daddy here, rules and ways to do things and following structure while also being creative within those constrictions. Which also very much applies to Dungeon Masters (won’t lie, the ‘Master’ part of that is what eeks it to 51% for just being him). This could come up, it’s feasible.

A Chuldur needing the teleport is also fair of course. And would want the psychic jewellery for the reverse of Ruby - being a Chuldur who needs to smell human to keep the gang on their toes and unsuspecting it’s him.

And there are lots of little things that complement the Pantheon element. We have the dancing scene where the lights dim. We have the fact he’s working with alternate dimension creatures and knows a lot about them. Certainly shows no fear at being sent to an alternate dimension once he’s got what he wanted. We have the American accent. We have him probably having watched Doctor Who like Bridgerton because he’s very familiar with Jack’s introductory episodes with all the references. We have the Vitamin String Quartet’s cover of ‘I’m The Bad Guy’ - Dungeon Masters love making playlists for their scenes, so why wouldn’t he (and also Theme of Music)? Maybe he doesn’t overtly use his powers during The Session because that sort of ugly manipulation of the world is cheap and bad DMing. Daddy liked the Spice Girls, why wouldn’t he like Kylie? He’s a game player like daddy but there’s no winning D&D, especially as DM, which makes an easy natural conflict between them. And we need at least one Pantheon member, cus while I think this is actually just a set-up season for them, there needs to be at least four, really five to truly feel ‘Pantheon’, three would be bare minimum and not enough for when the shit actually starts to go down next season, need at least four by then. I’m assuming we see one: The Writer, or The Audience, or Death or (The Twist At) The End/Grand Finale or whatever else you interpret the oldest one/one who waits to be, in the finale itself.

And this means we get a new (and if Pantheon rather than Chuldur) long-term character. Cosplaying the Master means The Rogue isn’t a copy of them, can just be playing The Bad Guy cus it’s fun right now, but they themselves don’t have to be Master-like, they can be anything. Something new. Anyone who knows me knows I wanted more rogue Time Lords and these guys are like that but with magic powers - what’s not to love? If The Rogue is a Joker, A Wildcard, and they just become a character that fills a void, that’s fascinating. Or they want to create exciting stories whatever that means and become whatever NPCs necessary to drive them on, that’s so interesting. Or they’re guided by being whatever they find cool much like the birds, with all the capricious ‘eh, bored now I’m wrapping this story up’ of a greek god (cus, well.) with all the associated dangers and disregard of these not being characters but people they’re playing with, and also expects there to be no hard feelings after The Session is over and next time it’s a new one. Can they perfectly roleplay a character but still break character if needed, or are they locked in to it until The Session’s done? Do they believe themself to have a ‘real’ personality or is that all fuzzy? Or all of the above. You could go anywhere from standard villain to a full Chaotic Neutral with that. And all the implications you could have of their power being to perfectly roleplay a person. And I use ‘they’ here because surely this is the most genderfluid a character you could get. The Rogue could literally be the red-nailed woman who picked up the gold tooth, think about that. How perfect would that be. Maybe that’s what’s in the bag. Live Tooth Reaction To The Kiss Not Clickbait. A character that could literally be anyone at any time, we would never know peace again. If Susan Twist appearing everywhere is something Pantheony, The Rogue is the inverse of this. Siblings maybe.

And see my Christmas Special pitch. Which is both a joke, but also an example of what fun you could have with The Rogue if you wanted. It doesn’t have to be pure heartbreak and misery Master 2.0. Especially if they are as seems here, a god not just trying to entertain themselves, but also entertain others. D&D requires a group, it’s co-operative, we see Rogue appear to adapt rather than (in any way immediately evident to us at least) externally force the story a certain way like a good DM. He never shoots the birds or threatens to or gets them in actual danger despite the in-character reasons to, and they looked like they all had fun - besides squished beak #5. But also sees NPCs as little more than set dressing as we ourselves would in a D&D game. What a dynamic that could be in a Pantheon god. It’s unique. Which is so valuable. A Chuldur slightly less interesting in that score but still.

If it is the Master I’ll be fine and accept it, but I want this, because it does double duty. It might as well have been a Master episode as it has most of the benefits of one (for me anyway), but also gives us all this new possibility and complexity on top of it. Those options are currently open and I want it.

It’s not popular, but I’m really pro trusting the writers. All of them. They’re smart. And I know these two just seem like randoms, but I doubt they are, they could be our new mothers, and I really think that while the Pantheon Rogue option is complex, it’s viable and has so much scope. If I hate people trying to see Rogue as flat Space Darcy because it shows zero belief in the writers, then I gotta do the opposite and entertain the option that they have intelligently created a deep and complex story, and have taken that to the end of the road. Even if complicated is by nature less likely than simple.

also lol I started The Essay at around 11pm sunday, wrote til gone 4am. Then woke up at 9:30am and wrote solidly plus edits until about 4am, and in-between edited the subtitles into that video. Am I ok? Physically, yes. Mentally, probably not. It is literally 10k and that’s why I made the joke. But I’ve done infinitely worse writing fanfics so...

EDIT:

‘Chuldur/Pantheon member The Rogue cosplaying the Master’ has just flipped into the dominant reading! Alert! Alert! Cus he’d never do this about him literally being the Master. If he’s acknowledging we’re having the feelings we’re intended to have, there’s another twist in it.

I officially move The Rogue Cosplaying The Master to 55% from 49% likelihood, and Rogue Is Just The Master down to 45% from 51%. You may wish to adjust your stock investment accordingly.

[farmerbebop]

The sun was shining too bright for me to be worrying about my deadline so I guess I'll use this rare occasion to make a pinned post.

When I started blorbo posting it was simply because "If even I, who knows next to nothing about British and American TV series, can see that Patrick McGoohan was criminally underrated, then maybe this blog has a reason to exist."

The only thing I ever learned about blorbo posting is from the Columbo fandom. They have fun, and they love their blorbo. As the kids say: Love and peace on planet earth.

But McGoohan is a challenge and will never stop being one. His public image, both in front and behind of the camera, isn't that of someone who would be pleased with blorbo posting. I don't know how other blorbo bloggers feel, but I just wish I can hold a conversation with my blorbo that doesn't bore him to death or anger him to the point of throwing me out of the room.

Judging someone who talked about his nervous breakdown like it was just a cold isn't something I like to do, especially online. So if I have to talk about McGoohan, I always get quite nervous. I can only say that I regret we didn't get to know him as much as we would like to and I really wish he was still here with us.

I know many of the decisions he made, he made it for future generations. It's my privilege to say that my blorbo's gift to the three-year-old running this blog has been her greatest pride as a blorbo blogger. And her hardest and most honourable task is not to mess it up.

I actually didn't create this blog to please McGoohan (the ladies can testify to that, lol). And I think I make fun of him more than I should. But I hope he knows that life as a blorbo blogger isn't easy when your blorbo is Patrick McGoohan and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be too hard on me.

And just in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm doing on here, here's a short guide to my blog.

my stupid vid My McGoohan fancams are what I personally consider the funniest part of my blog. But they can be somewhat serious too, I think.

my lousy photoshopping This can mean just about anything. McGoohan as The Little Prince. McGoohan in Ingmar Bergman's films. Anything that I made with photoshop. So I have some more tags to categorize it.

mcgoohan at the museum What I love to do the most in photoshop is putting McGoohan into paintings. I don't know why. Maybe because it easily hides my lousy photoshopping skills. Or maybe because my blorbo is as beautiful as a painting.

mcgoohan album covers What can I say? “But you don't really care for music, do you?”

mcgoohan fashion Let's be honest, don't you love a beautiful blorbo?

mcgoohan posters I sometimes try not to misinterpret McGoohan's works, I don't know if I succeed though.

no context mcgoohan Mostly just McGoohan sitting or standing somewhere. But I love it nonetheless.

mcgoohan for kids and mcgoohan anime Well, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

mcgoohan arthouse One day I'll retire from blorbo posting and go back to watching arthouse films.

mcgoohan stickers They are not as cute as cat or bunny stickers, but they stick all right.

the prisoner redux or anything redux means my lousy photoshopping for that particular series/movie. But when there are so many McGoohans in one post I get tired of tagging and I just give up.

I think that's enough of my lousy photoshopping.

wild mcgoohan in his natural habitat McGoohan as God intended him. Trying to not give away too much information in interviews.

mcgoohan lore McGoohan in someone else's words, including his daughter's. Needless to say, my words should not be trusted. You'll know them when you see them.

my gif McGoohan gifs, mostly for losing tumblr polls. Also for making this blog popular with the ladies on here.

village poetry If there's one thing that McGoohan might like about this blog, this is probably it.

village soundcloud Blorbos and song lyrics go hand in hand - Tumblr proverb.

mcgoogoo and me Just me rambling about my McGoohan dreams and my hard life as a blorbo blogger.

my lousy shitposting It has something to do with McGoohan I'm afraid. But it's fun.

I know this blog has become quite predictable and it's filled with half of my life's story. But if McGoohan was really who I think he was, that would be the least of his problems with my blog.

And finally, my hiatus is a running joke that I'm getting worse at, I hope.

[screemnch]

About your Danyas and Tyomas

Hi, it’s almost 2 am and I have a flight in like, 9 hours, which means it’s time for pedantic linguistic musings. Specifically I’d like to share some fun info about Russian phonetics (which I’ve stated many times are really weird) and how that relates to the diminutive names that you can give to Russian characters (including these stupid pathologic characters that live in my head rent free)

As a final preamble I want to point out that this isn’t a critique on the English only speakers within the fandom. I love y’all and you are awesome. However, Russian is it’s own language with distinctive phonetics and notations, and the English language is a bit too… Not limited, but different, and it does not convey Russian words and names properly, especially in notation (don’t get me started on how “Tycheek” is actually pronounced in Russian). And since I’m also here to bridge the gap between languages while also trying not to completely Englishize and Americanize my existence… I’ve decided to talk about the dreaded Russian “y-” vowels.

The Russian language has 10 vowels, which are:

а (“ah” sound, but shorter)

o (“oh” sound but without the “h”)

у (“oo” sound but can be as short as you’d like”)

э (“eh” or like the “e” in the word “ten”)

и (“ee” sound, also can be as short as you’d like)

ы (uhhhhhh… Best I can describe it is the sound you make when you get punched in the stomach)

And that’s it! Here’s the part where you go “wait, tumblr user screemnch, that’s only 6 vowels! Why are you lying to me?” The thing is tho, that I am not lying to you. The other 4 vowels “е”, “ё”, “ю”, and “я” are what I can only describe as “composite vowels” as in vowels that are made up of those I’ve already told you about and the awesome letter “й” (which has the same sound as the “y” in “yes”).

The vowel “e” is comprised of “й” and “э” to make a “yeh” sound.

The vowel “ё” is comprised of “й” and “о” to make a “yoh” sound.

The vowel “ю” is comprised of “й” and “у” to make a “you” sound.

The vowel “я” is comprised of “й” and “а” to make a “yah” sound.

With me so far?

The names we’re looking at today are Daniil (Даниил) and Artemy (Артемий), for which people have elected to use the diminutives of Danya (Даня) and Tyoma (Тёма). Based off of what I explained just now, this makes sense phonetically (and I’ll bet my money that it was my fellow Russian speakers that told y’all about them). HOWEVER. Do not be fooled, do not be deceived. Because Russian phonetic laws get even weirder.

The phonetics I’ve illustrated for you make sense in particular instances. Mainly, when a “composite vowel” is the letter in the very beginning of the word (such as the last name of the Russian actor Oleg Yankovsky. The letter “Я” being in the front makes the “yah” sound).

The other instance is when the “composite vowel” is prefaced with either the soft (ь) or hard (ъ) sign, such is the Russian spelling of cognac (коньяк). These signs have no sound of their own, but provide a kind of separation that allows these “composite vowels” to sounds as I described.

Are you ready for the curveball? It happens when a “composite vowel” is prefaced with a consonant. See, almost all Russian consonants have a “hard” and “soft” versions. It’s a very slight phonemic difference that is difficult to catch if you hadn’t been hearing Russian since childhood (cuz that’s how learning how to distinguish phonemes works. You’re most fine-tuned to the phonemes of the language you were surrounded by as a kid) and is difficult to explain. But I will attempt to.

When you say the word “no” the consonant “n” is a hard one. If you were to use the “soft” version while trying to say “no”, it’d sound a but closer to how you say “gnocchi”.

When you say… Ugh, ok, when you say “nya~” the consonant “n” is a soft one. If you attempted to use the “hard” version while trying to say “nya~” it’d sound more like “nah”.

And that’s what happens in the Russian language. The presence of a regular vowel (except for “и”) dictates that the consonant prior to it is a “hard” one. The presence of a “composite vowel” in turn swallows the “й” (y-) sound in return for softening the prior consonant. Consonants can be soft in other instances. Idk if I’ve actually done it in my analyses when attempting to write phonetics, but you may have seen me use an apostrophe after some letters. I got it in my head some long time ago that that’s how you indicate soft consonants when writing in English, and it’s too late to stop now.

So, if the “й” (y-) sound gets swallowed by the prior consonant, all we get to hear is the “-а” although it sounds like a “я”. So let’s try saying “nya~” the Russian way.

You’d start as if you were trying to say “nya~” how you would in English, but stop short before you actually open your mouth. Substitute the “ya” with an “a” or “ah” sound. The softer “n” sound will alter the vowel, creating (hopefully) the authentic, Russian “ня”.

So, when, for example, saying the name Даня you would apply the same logic. The “y-” sound gets swallowed up by the softened “n”. Same for Тёма. The softer “t” (like in “tea”) swallows up the “y-” sound.

And yes, I’m aware that there isn’t much one can do when writing down names using English letters. But I also don’t really want the whimsical and weird Russian pronunciation to go unappreciated. It’s my language, dangit, it’s worth learning.

Also, I’d encourage you to explore some more fun Russian diminutives. With the names we explored alone you can get the actual Russian nicknames of Данечька (“Danech’ka” using the “-ech’ka/ochka” suffix) and Артёмка (“Artyomka” using the “-ka” suffix).

This concludes today’s linguistic ramblings (and totally not secret propaganda to get people to learn Russian.)

[olderthannetfic]

/727435364306976768

Anon I am agreeing with you so hard. I am a big eastern media fan and the amount out complaining and US centrism in the English speaking sections of these fandoms is starting to kill me. I am like, exclusively on reddit, tumblr, and ao3. Reddit is hell its full of nothing but complaining about age gaps, enemies to lovers, and characters that aren't always making the right and moral :tm: choices and if you try and point out that it's a authors job to tell a perfectly moral story but and interesting one your comments will get deleted buy mods. It feels like people just moved from Twitter to reddit.

And like so many of the stories they are complaining about are historical fiction/fantasy and they seeth and foam at the mouth over age gaps. Like if they hate them so much why do they keep reading them. It's so exhausting I just want to enjoy my eastern comics with other fans in peace not sit there through a bitch and moan fest. I now have the threads blocked cause I just can't take all the negativity anymore.

Like no I don't care about this adult/minor ship in this shoujo, it's a shoujo they are just like that. No I don't care that a royal in a historical story is rude to the FL and doesn't trust her on sight. No it doesn't bother me that this manga/manhwa has a slave character in it, it's just a plot point. No I'm not bothered that characters are being constantly manipulative because the plot has stated its either that or death. I'm not going to care that this adult yakuza is dating a high school girl that's like the most minor of the illegal things he's doing honestly. Like the idea of holding fictional characters to the same standards are living breathing people is frankly ridiculous.

And God so much of it is just so incredibly xenophobic like I am not going to expect a jp/kr author to write for an American audience that's fucking stupid. Frankly all of the above is also exactly why I like eastern writing more they can write a story that's actually interesting without being hung up on all this bullshit. Puritans are fucking exhausting.

-@botanicbones

--

[doomed-era]

okay i can't learn to not be a yapper so. thoughts on eow trailer under the cut since i'm gonna be a negative nancy

my feelings on the trailer were initially positive to mixed and i'm veering slightly towards mixed now that i've actually had time to process it. firstly, i don't think this is a new statement, but being my very burnt-out-on-totk self yeah i'm skeptical of the new mechanic they're introducing. yeah, all zelda games have a unique gimmick to them, but most of them before totk don't encourage you to in a sense "break the game" or "go wild" and unfortunately i Do like limitations in my games. i love misplaying games and doing whatever i want in them it's always been a part of how i play zelda, but having the game both actively encourage that and make it into a (frankly half-assed) gameplay gimmick kinda shows a lack of creativity on their part. oh wow i can do anything it's like lego. well whats the Fun in doing anything if the game wants me to. ultimately yeah it's technically impressive and it'll sell itself. probably. but it's tiresome and as someone who got bored of totk's building mechanics so fast in favor of slapping together whatever the most efficient solution was i cant help but think i'm going to get bored of it after a few hours of gameplay.

secondly as pleased as i am with all of the neat elements we saw in the trailer like the return of river zora, the deku, playable zelda, the gerudo...i can't help feeling that the game is in a sense...reacting to fans who wanted these things? this isn't a new phenomenon, zelda has been very reactive towards what fans want for a long time. and to tell you the truth: i don't like it, i never will, and a game that is trying to please as many fans as possible (especially older ones, which i think the game is aiming to please) will ultimately please no one and lead to disingenuous gameplay and lore decisions. i'm uncomfortable with the idea that nintendo listens to fan outcry at large. one. because i find the idea that they're watching the fandom to be incredibly uncomfortable even if it's just broader trends and not individuals. two. because i really cannot think of a time where appealing to large swaths of fans has done them any good. especially american zelda fans, who i tend to hate as a collective. like be real what benefit did twilight princess get from having its artstyle be the way it is. it's a good game but quite frankly it doesn't add that much to it. what benefit is there to all zelda games attempting to be super nonlinear after the backlash from skyward sword. there was absolutely no benefit to totk leaning so hard into zonai stuff possibly because zeldatube happened to be obsessed with it, and—while yes, i like the ideas presented by the trailer, i don't trust them enough not to fuck it up.

so yeah that's my piece. i actually am excited for what was shown OTHER than the stupid uncreative-but-technically-impressive copy mechanic, but after totk...yeah i just don't trust them

[dairy-farmer]

hope my question doesn't sound so awful, i'm curious, when it comes to you and your ships like BruTim and etc., would you consider yourself a proshipper?

it's not! don't worry!

i consider myself very firmly anti-censorship which means that i am very firmly proship.

i know that there has been an attempt at changing the meaning of proshipping by people trying to cast it in a bad light because if you control the definition of something then you basically control all future arguments. (interestingly it's anti shipping that is the reason for pro ship's existence. livejournal was full of people telling others that their ships were gross and launching crusades against ships they hated calling themselves "anti-x-ship". pro, the opposite of anti, emerged to show as a symbol that you weren't an asshole. a lot of proshippers don't like or even approve of all ships but they believe you shouldn't get targeted and harassed for something as stupid as a ship essentially)

proshipping is something that i agree with not only for the anti-censorship aspects, it's also the finer details

1) your fictional interests are not a reflection of your irl beliefs

2) that harassment, doxing, and threats are not a logical or stable reactions to seeing something you don't like

3) fiction is not what influences reality it is interpretation of fiction that does (you were already a bad person if something you saw on tv or read in a book made you violent or do something depraved etc)

i've been lurking in fandom for a long time and i've noticed a trend with antis that have shaped a very low opinion of them because of the glaringly clear political agenda so many antis appear to have. there's been a rise in 'anti rhetoric' that pretty closely coincides with the rise in american alt-right movements and this is no different because it's people being radicalized by the exact same pipeline. anti's, right wing, q-anon people, etc say (oftentimes line for line) the EXACT same arguments.

arguments that tend to be anti women and anti lgbtq+

i realize indoctrination is hard to spot especially if you're young, vulnerable, or its being said by someone you look up to. but there are two things to keep in mind when you think about all the claims and stances antis make.

is the claim outlandish or incredibly bold? such as saying that people who like lolicon or make nsfw art of underaged characters are pedophiles. that is a VERY serious accusation and people online say it like its nothing. when you understand the full depravity of a crime like pedophilia there is ABSOLUTELY no way you could ever equate drawings of a fictional character to a living breathing child.

who benefits from you believing those claims?

-you ever wonder why ao3 writers who are majority queer women in their mid 20s tend to be baselessly accused of pedophilia? even though the profile of a pedophile in the USA is of a middle-aged white man in their 30s-40s? if we wanted to characterize fandoms by most likely to have pedophiles i'd be eyeing the nascar and sports fandoms given their fan basis fit the profile better.

did you know referring to queer people as pedophiles is a very age old tactic of eliminating public support or sympathy for them. look up 'boys beware' a 1955 PSA directed at boys to help protect them from the "sick" "pedophiles" known as the homosexuals.

-you ever wonder why antis claim to be "for the children" and yet use terms like 'cp' when referring to real children?

did you know RAINN has stated the proper term to use is CSAM-child sexual abuse materials. because 'child' and 'porn' cannot be used in the same sentence? fundamentally "(often) pornography online depicts adults who have consented to be filmed, that’s never the case when the images depict children". you'd think someone who cares so much for real children would get that.

-you ever wonder why so many antis rally for censorship on ao3 and cite the overnight mass deletion and censorship of fanworks from livejournal as proof of something that occurred because there was too much "cp" on the cite?

did you know it was it the 'warriors for innocence' who were behind not just livejournal but issues with other fansites and who directly stated their goal was to "hunt down people who support homosexuality, pedophilia and incest" and who have very clear ties to dominionism, and "Christian Patriot" militias?

do you notice how that's exactly what antis today say about "proshitters" just without the 'homosexuality' part because that part is being whispered since they know being homophobic within fandoms who are en mass queer would lose them a lot of support?

the anti and proship structure is a very american creation because it was born on forums mainly populated by americans and its only recently that this has started affecting overseas fandoms. recently on twitter a LOT of japanese artists have started referring to themselves as proshippers and blocking anyone who has 'antiship' in their description box because proship is the default for basically everywhere else that doesn't have american theocratic conservative powerplays.

maybe being an anti started as being an asshole but that's no longer the case. it's no longer just about "i hate this ship" its becomes "i hate this ship because ive fallen into an alt-right pipeline to appeal to the young future conservative and so fiction is real and you, a dirty fucking queer, are a pedophile, rapist, molester!!!!'

all you have to do to see a grown up politically involved "anti" is to turn on an american news station and watch the debate about banning library books that contain "explicit material" like things related to critical race theory or homosexuality. because that's what an anti evolves into. that's what all indoctrinated conservatives evolve into.

so the anti objectives and alignments have very firmly changed to something i will never respect or side with.

i think that an old article about WFI can summerize what i think is happening with modern antishipping and a changing political climate:

and if by chance an anti has somehow read this far: u were lied to girl. they knew you were a sucker and desperate for online connection or to be part of the "young activist" wave. but you were easy to trick and they filled your head with lies to help them push the christian conservative agenda that women dont deserve autonomy and gay people are depraved freaks who should all die.

"No mistake should be made here: these people are not so much about stopping pedo's, they are about erecting and establishing a hate filled theocratic society by any means necessary. They are all about control. And they are firmly entrenched in the belief that they are "more right" than anyone else"

[teeth-cable]

You want to know how stupid the Helluva fandom is?

People still think Loona is a teenager. Like even if you missed Vivziepop's age confirmation they: sell sexy merch, nobody thinks Tex is a teen, Loona can drink alcohol in a show made by Americans, is at I.M.P. during the day and she has been adopted for at minimum 5 years.

Like did people legit forget about the sexy merch?

Though I will agree that they do write her weirdly because it seems that just by her behavior she's at max been stuck with Blitzo for 2 years.

Like she never calls him dad and is acting like she's in the phase "UGH YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD," and somehow she didn't make any friends for 5 years after she was put in a safe environment? Like Hell does apparently have an education system due to the cut Charlie comic so what's going on?

Also does that mean Loona never attempted to go outside by herself without Blitzo. I get he is overprotective but he had a job that he couldn't bring Loona too judging by the photos in his phone and mentioning he used to go after hellborns. We know she got a human disguise without Blitzo knowing somehow so....

Like what has Loona been doing besides working at I.M.P. for the past 5 years?

Like a way to fix this is something called adult adoption. Blitzo could find a homeless Loona and take her in which would fix a lot of plot holes.

And like when they write her in a way that makes sense they always find a way to undercut it. She shows up to hang out with Vortex which tells us the audience they are still on good terms despite Loona having a crush. They are mature about it and its her social awkwardness fucking her over with other people. Then Bee shows up who is being genuine and kind to her Loona acts like a bitch for no reason. I think we are supposed to think she's jealous but like its not clear. And even if it is she knew Vortex had a girlfriend ahead of time and even if she didn't know Bee was gonna be there one would assume Tex would bring his gf to a party. Even if you didn't know she was Bee. Like Loona is allowed to be slightly jealous but she isn't allowed to treat Bee like that.

Like Vortex is Loona's only friend and she isn't at least going to try to be nice to someone important to him.

Like Vortex never even told Loona to cool it or defend Bee so I'm confused about what's going on with him. Like realistically if I brought someone to come hang out with my friends and they acted like Loona we would be having a serious conversation or I'd drop them because like your giving this person a chance and they disrespect your loved ones immediately. If the show had good writing Vortex would pull Loona aside immediately.

Like Loona literally is acting like a child in this.

Then Loona acts like one again because she cares more about having fun than checking if her father is ok. Like Bee had to threaten her to check on Blitzo. I know Vortex probably doesn't know her situation but if I was him I'd think Loona and Blitzo hate each other or something.

Then Loona has the gall to act like she cares about Blitzo at the end suddenly? Its even more ruined by Seeing Stars. Like I feel there's two versions of Loona and the writers can't pick which one is the actual one. Like sometimes Loona actually acts her age and seems like a character with a hard shell but a softie but other times she doesn't act like an adult and is just bitchy for no reason. And it sucks because i love the former characterization but it gets dragged down kicking and screaming due to the latter.

I did read fan theory that Loona was originally a teenager but they changed it so they could use her as furbait and sell sexy merch.

And you know what a lot of plot holes and issues would be solved if she was around Octavia's age.

Like she can't go to the human world because she's a kid

Explains Blitzos protectiveness

Makes her bitchy attitude less egregious

Also explains why she's not in a lot of eps because she's at school

Would get rid of her inconsistent writing

But it would have to be before the pilot when this concept happened because they literally had her drinking and possibly get syphilis (im aware it can be inherited but since the show is a raunchy comedy...).

I actually don't blame the fandom for thinking she's a teenager. The lewd side of fandom is just a small part of it. As someone who is critical of HB, I easily forget too, Loona is supposed to be 22 and not a teenager because of how much the show treats and write her as one.

Almost all of her actions can be explain by trauma but I am very hesitant to say this because the times Viv has used trauma is to excuse characters’ terrible actions and she never hinted at Loona's trauma in Season 1.

But still, it can explain why she only stays with Blizto, never straying, it t’s because she doesn't feel comfortable being in public by herself. She had to stay in a crowded pound with Hellhounds who were jerks and mean to her through her life until she was 17. Loona doesn't like hanging around people because she's scared they will hurt her plus Blitzo can protect her. Blitzo is a person she can retreat to for safety so it’s important she has him around if something bad happens. People who have PTSD and trauma from abusive households tend to stay away from crowded areas because it's unpredictable and triggering for them also people with trauma tend to be closed off and distant towards others. The only reason why Loona went to the party is because Tex was there, another person she can rely on. If he wasn't there, Loona would have stayed home. It also would explain why Loona treated Bee like a bad person. Trauma can cloud your perception of others and second-guess them. Or maybe Loona got scared that Bee would take Tex away from her for the whole party, making her lonely in an environment and with people she doesn't know and she didn't feel safe with. Trauma make people act out and think irrationally to protect ourselves from experiencing the same form of trauma again or dealing more of it.

I wish Viv did relate Loona's actions in this EP to her trauma instead of making her jealous of Bee because she still has a crush on Tex. It downgrades her character into a petty teenager and doesn't make sense because Loona knew Tox for a few hours before he told her he had a girlfriend so she already knew and time has passed, why would she still have crush? Also if Viv did hint at Loona's trauma in this EP, it could be use as foreshadowing for Loona's pound scene in Season 2 and wouldn't make her trauma come out of nowhere.

It's very obvious, the writers have different versions of Loona and they can't pick a single one to stay with. I rather take this EP version of Loona who acted like a petty teenager and randomly felt affection for Blitzo than Seeing Stars’s Loona where she was an abuser to him.

[numbknee]

Enough of the suffering thru the asks abt all the other cartman ships, what abt your brain rot? 🥺 what *are* your thoughts on kyman?? Go ham dude

ooooh dear... where to begin with the kyman brainrot....... I guess I’ll start at the beginning. VERY LONG POST under the cut. this is basically my kyman meta magnum opus lmao

I’ve talked about this ad nauseam before, but I really, REALLY didn’t want to get into south park. I had only ever watched like 2 full episodes before 2021 and I simply did not understand the appeal. I just thought the draw to the show was the shock factors: gross-out humor, children swearing and committing violence, and blatant bigotry played for laughs. I didn’t understand how it could be so popular other than “well I guess there are lots of horrible people out there who like this horrible show.” 

I grew up in a very WASP-y town and had peers in elementary/middle school who learned about the existence of antisemitism and other bigotries through south park. because kids are stupid and don’t understand satire, many of them took it at face value and were able to have shittons of words added to their vocabulary to put people down and insult them. it was horrible tbh. and I hated the show for that, even as a young kid. I personally wasn’t perfect by any means but even as a snot-nosed, extremely sheltered little white girl I knew that you just shouldn’t do that shit. our school system in particular lauded the “golden rule” constantly (we had to do a school-specific pledge after the pledge of allegiance every day... yeah I know, very american) and I was like “cmon, you guys can’t even follow that ONE RULE to be a semi-decent human being?? really??”

anyway at the end of 2021, my younger brother asked me to watch the post-covid specials with him and he was very excited about it. I was immediately hesitant, especially because in recent years he has become alarmingly incel-y and took a hard turn to the right while I became a leftist. I reluctantly agreed to sit through it to try to understand him more because, even though his political ideology sucks ass, he’s still my brother and I do love him. 

so I watched the specials, and I came out the other side of it shell-shocked with how surprisingly good the writing was. THIS stupid show, the show that all this time I thought was bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, was... GOOD??? particularly regarding CARTMAN?? 

the only things I knew about cartman going into it were the following: he’s fat, he says the name “kyle” weird, and he’s a horrible antisemite. and they made him grow up to be a freaking RABBI. it completely caught me off guard and *gasp* actually made me laugh???? what???? 

there were plenty of other things I loved about the post-covid specials, like my depressed ass relating WAAAY too hard with stan, the extremely on-the-nose satire of the state of advertisement/capitalism with the stupid “denny’s applebee’s max” restaurant chain gag and all the old people being shoved into a giant prison retirement home once they aren’t productive anymore, kenny getting sick of the gang’s bullshit and writing “FUCK THESE HOES” on a beloved childhood photo, butters become a snake-oil salesman for NFTs, kyle being told to “think like a kid” and like 2 seconds later realizing they need to look up kenny’s ass. I could go on but you get the point. 

I liked it way more than I thought I ever would. and obviously, I often find south park funny for different reasons than my brother does because matt & trey are very good at toeing the line of appealing to both sides of the american political spectrum, but it’s become a point of bonding between us in the year since I started watching the show and I’m grateful for that. 

of course, since i’m terminally on tumblr and ao3, I also started to dive into the fandom of south park. I had heard about the whole creek thing years ago and waved it off as a stupid gag but then I realized wait, holy shit, there’s actually a GIGANTIC shipping culture around south park??? at first I got into style because of the interesting concept of post-covid kyle and stan reconnecting after decades apart and not being the same people they used to be but trying to make it work anyway (I even wrote a fic about it ahahaa...) 

but after a while I got tired of the ship because as I watched the rest of the show, I realized their relationship just wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. like they’re best friends but... why? because they’ve known each other forever? they both like video games? they make fun of cartman together? the fact they’re “super-best-friends” is kind of taken for granted by the show and the audience, but imo matt and trey never really explore the intricacies of their relationship very much. y’all can disagree with me on this but idk, all I know is that I got bored with style as a ship after like 2 months.

while scrolling through ao3 and tumblr, I ran across kyman fics/fanart for the first time back in february or so. at first I was appalled because... why the everloving fuck would you ship the blatant antisemite with the jewish kid??? really???? isn’t style a much better choice??? but sheer curiosity got the better of me, so I did what I always do when I’m curious about a ship: select for fics with kyle broflovski/eric cartman, sort by kudos, and read the first result (or in this case the second because the first had creek as the main ship). y’all know which fic that is if you’ve even slightly gotten into kyman. it was interesting, but I personally didn’t see them as the actual characters from the show in that fic. they were fandom versions of kyle and cartman, with their personalities changed enough to fit the standard mlm shipping dynamic that’s popular in fandom spaces (particularly regarding dom/sub aspects). I’ve seen it happen in plenty of other fandoms so I wasn’t surprised, but I still couldn’t see how it could possibly work if one were to use their canon character depictions. 

all the while I was making my way through episodes of the show cuz it’s long af, and over time I became more and more intrigued with kyle and cartman’s relationship. cartman quickly became my favorite character in the show because of how fucking complex and layered his personality is (see my tags on this post), and though kyle despises cartman in countless ways, he still is the only one who consistently tries to find goodness in him, tries to make him change for the better, saves him when no one else will, and remains his friend despite everything. it’s a remarkably complex dynamic.

little hints of kyman started creeping up on me: cartman being frequently queer-coded as a closeted gay kid. kyle getting extremely jealous of cartman and heidi’s relationship. both of them on separate occasions saving the other from death or injury without wanting any credit for it or lording it over each other. “we've been through a lot together, and... maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something” 

needless to say, I started to get it. and then I encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back: “know your enemy” by elsen on ao3. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve read that fic probably over a dozen times. it was shockingly well-written and so in-tune with the style and tone of the show that I was like “is this person spirit-channelling trey parker or something wtf???” and all of a sudden, I could see how, in a different universe, kyman could actually be an endgame ship. 

what sold me on it the most was how in-character it seemed for cartman to be a repressed, denial-ridden sub, especially regarding his desired relationship with kyle. there’s plenty of canon evidence that cartman has a secret crush on kyle (see this vid by johnny 2 cellos), but there’s no way that kyle could reciprocate those feelings, right?? imo kyle would probably rather die than enter a romantic relationship with cartman where he had to submit to him all the time, but if cartman would want kyle to be dominant over him??? where kyle has control and is able to curb cartman’s problematic behavior as he sees fit??? that opens up a whole other door of possibilities.

I think what kyle wants more than anything else in the world regarding cartman is for the goodness he sees deep down inside him to come to the surface, and for kyle to be the one to guide him (or force him when necessary) to becoming a better person through love and patience and inherent understanding of his fucked up little head??? I can definitely see kyle wanting that (especially since I see kyle as a repressed, denial-ridden sadist/dom lmao; see this post for my thoughts on that). 

it was all downhill from there. I found tons of other cool kyman shippers on tumblr and twitter whose writing and fanart helped suck me in even more and I’ve been stuck in kyman hell ever since. special shoutout to the asker for her kyman analysis posts that inspired this fic I wrote! love u boo <3

ANYWAY that’s how I became a whore for kyman lolololol ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ have a nice day everybody

[authorchia]

R: 1999 RAMBLES (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

I consider myself as a newbie and casual player of the R: 1999 fandom so my knowledge of the game may be limited and I'm not confident of my vocabularies since English is not my first languange, just letting yall know :V

I'm gonna be as nuanced as possible as I ramble through my opinions, so if you find this interesting, I'd like to see yall's opinions too! (Remember to be respectful!)

Alright so the thing that I wanna get it off my chest is that, is it just me or there has been no discourse/drama about R: 1999 till today? I know the game was released hardly a year ago, but really the fandom is pretty chill and I'm very grateful for that, even though I'm not an active participant.

I had a thought it's because the twitter cops/"puritans" can't see any visible advantage to make ANYTHING a useless drama. I was both in the GI and HSR fandom as a spectator, seeing news about them bitching and policing people about the same topics over and over again (truly saddening). But I might dare say R: 1999 is not an easy target for them because it has:

- Diverse characters, both ethnicity and species wise iykyk

- Diverse VAs for characters that are not Americans (ex. Zima, Shamane, Sonetto, Matilda, etc.)

- Stunning and unique artstyle (for me at least, because it's not really your generic anime style if you really squint)

- Killer character designs that speaks where they from and their personality

- Compelling storytelling both for the characters' backstory, story events and main story

- MOST if not ALL characters have their age explicitly stated in their bio

- GENEROUS amount of Drops and moderately easy to get

- Farming resources are generous and easy to get with if your characters' level are enough to beat the critters

- Gameplay/Battle system is engaging in its own way

- No questionable clothings on minor characters

The only things that they would try to make drama/discourse are:

- How boring the gameplay is (which is almost an insult) <- have seen an example on Tiktok

- Ship discourses because it's the only thing any fandom fans and non-fans have a war about, which is utterly stupid and brainrotting

- Any genuine problematic things like problematic creators seeping into the crack. It can be done by a block button or callout doc if they're endangering the fandom's space

-Any immature, chronically online behaviors that you see on the internet (both minors and adults)

TLDR: I'm not saying Reverse: 1999 is the pinnacle of what games should be, but it's really hard not to notice its uniqueness that other game lacks. Let's just hope people won't be behaving out of place, and if they do, we could either educate them patiently or ignore them completely. NOT immediately ostracizing and being aggressive towards them as it will light up the fire and potentially burn the whole forest.

That's all I have go say. If you made it this far, WOW! Thanks for stopping by and read this unhinged ramble! Have a milk and cookies for compensation, friend 🥛🍪🍪🍪

I hope in the future, the game and its fandom will flourish with passionate creators and gamers. Maybe they could make Indonesian-based events! I would love that actually... But for now, I will wait for Shamane's banner teehee :3c

[wandering-wolf23]

Fuck it. I’m going to detail Anonymous Sudan. This is going to be a long one, folks. If you’re curious, peak under the cut.

First off. Anonymous Sudan is not Sudanese. They are Russian. I’m going to referencing this report quite a bit, mostly because it’s very thorough and details it in a way the average person can understand. You’re also going to need to understand who Killmilk/Killnet is. I’ve seen chatter that “milk” is a Russian slur towards Ukrainians (which fits, given the war), but I can’t confirm or deny it.

Why is this Russian hacker group targeting a fanfic site and why are they trying to pretend to be Sudanese hackers?

They want money. A Bitcoin wallet filled with $30,000 USD, to be exact. Per my converter, that would be roughly 0.98 Bitcoin. American dollars go very far in Russian, especially if they are converted into something that is very hard to trace. Why are they using language of religious extremists? Because Russia is wildly homophobic as a nation and they want to make your life harder/ruin your day. Also, Ao3 is a soft target because it owns its own servers. In short, they are trolls who want money.

I’m pretty sure that Killmilk doesn’t care that Ao3 hosts gay fanfic. If he did, he wouldn’t be fucking around with Google translate like that. He just wants to make you angry and make you say stupid things on the internet that is going to make your life harder. Seriously, guys. Don’t fall into the trap, please? Don’t feed the trolls.

Yes, the English in the first screenshot came from Google translate. How do I know?

Well, a long time ago (2016-ish), it was a thing in the Warrior Cats fandom to take quotes from the book, feed it into several languages via Google Translate, and laugh at the results. Google Translate is not a 1:1 translation service. It guesses. A lot.

My gut feeling? The text went from Russian, to Arabic, to English, with Google Translate guessing each time (based on a previous guess) the words are translated. That’s how what I’m guessing was “porn” turned into “smut” and what was probably a slur turned into “LGBTQ+”. Google Translate does not like translating slurs and has been known to substituting what it thinks are less offensive words.

So how do we know they are Russian?

They hang out on Telegram, an app known to be used by Russian interests. They also posted purely in Russian until they fucked with Microsoft. Then, they switched to Arabic.

Here’s the kicker, though. Anonymous Sudan isn’t using Sudanese Arabic, English, or Nobiin. They’re using Modern Standard Arabic. Google Translate does not give you the option for Sudanese Arabic. It gives you the option for Nobiin (labeled as “Sudanese”), but not Sudanese Arabic.

In short, these guys are using the first likely language that pops up on Google Translate and hitting “enter”. Google Translate is free, easy, and looks right.

They also have ties to Killmilk/Killnet. Killmilk/Killnet has ties to the Wagner Group and the Kremlin. They are very bad people, doing very bad things.

So why did they do it?

They needed money. 30k USD in Russia buys you a lot of arms and ammunition. They went for a site that a lot of people use, that has flaws allowing for a DDOS attack, and waited to see if people would pay the ransom.

No, this is not a false flag by Ao3. Anonymous Sudan is a known entity with a known MO and a known habit of attacking Western sites. I know y’all hate Ao3, but please do some digging. Critical thinking is not the enemy.

[midnight---express]

Probably one of my oddest contributions to the Thomas Fandom is USAR Light Mikado Mike.

Seriously this sprite is surprisingly popular, mainly as Churchill and Dr. Syn have still yet to get sprites, I've seen this become Jock a few times which I think is fun.

The whole reason why Mike is even an American is S734 is due to his portrayal by EE93, the voice and mannerisms were just so distinct, like his voices that was officially given were fun, the weirdly Gordon Ramsey sound from Tim Whitnall was fun but I figured that the brash American voice was rather fun.

So lore surrounding him, Mike doesn't show up with Rex and Bert (Otherwise known as Wallace in S734) he's the eighth engine purchased for the Arlesdale, he was contract built for Hanson Moore, one of the more railway interested investors, and he was the first brand new steam engine built for the railway, everyone else up until that point had been pre-owned. Mr. Moore really went all out on the livery, Red, White and Blue, and a nameplate reading Scarlet Fire, the other engines thought Mike's overall appearance was gaudy, and trying to get peoples attention, and Rex nearly exploded from laughing so hard after Mike's first passenger train, when afterwards he claimed he hated them, and would prefer goods work, Ragnar said that you could practically hear Mr. Moore shrink when Mike said that.

Mike loves the heavy Ballast work due to the fact that Ragnar and Rex are Atlantics (Will explain them in their own post) and Wallace was rather old, it was down to Franka and Braid (Basset Lowke Pacific) to work those heavy trains, but when Mike came along he took to them like old Roosevelt to a horse, he loves the job, mainly as it shows everyone how strong he is, and well he's right he is the strongest one.

In terms of his relationships with the others, they find him rather funny, if a bit brash and argumentative and glad that he showed up to haul Ballast.

Wretch and Sprocket (Blisters) like Mike, even if he finds the two slightly unsettling but nice to talk to.

Wallace doesn't quite know how to feel about Mike, or Michael as he calls him, a privilege reserved only for those who Mike deeply respects, like the Small Control or Mr. Moore, so the fact he doesn't throw old Wallace a look of death shows he respects the old codger, but old Wally as Mike calls him, doesn't like how Mike treats the passengers.

Ragnar finds the 'Big Yank' as he calls him rather cumbersome but respects his self assuredness and strength. 'Well placed confidence he has' is what he says about him.

Rex loves ripping into Mike, as he knows he has the ego to recover, but even then his remarks are only paint deep, he has a lot of respect for Mike, but finds it very funny that he just can't with passengers.

Franka's relationship with Mike is really odd, the two argue like they need to live, the others would always yell 'GET A SHED!' even Rex who loves to argue with him, practically broke over an argument about lubrication oil, and he practically screamed at them to just get together needless to say the two have been dating for awhile.

Braid, she tries to actively avoid interacting with Mike, mainly as she knows that if she engages in conversation, she'll realise that she hasn't move for an hour.

Jock, they treat Mike like a big brother, did something stupid with a ballast wagon, accidently stole Ragnar's beard wax, old Mike has you covered.

Old Big Scarlet is for lack of a better term the big brash glue that holds the crew together, mainly as he does the heavy lifting most of them can't.

[mardytoast]

🍓🔪☁️

i thought you were referencing a song coming out from this band i know and i was like ?

but omg ask game!!

🍓how did you get into writing fanfiction🍓

omg this is serious loree. so ive been reading ff for a good few years and so do two of my irl friends (the only ppl who know i read ff in this day and age irl) and we were all in the harry potter fandom. then we were like, we should make our own JOKE fanfic, and we're were like planning it all out for fun w y/n and shit and then we actually wrote it😭 it has four chapters and it's on wattpad but it's the most insane cliché shit and probably the funniest thing I've ever done LMFAOO

and then months and months after that i tried to do my own little things but they were all terrible. but then jan 2023 i started like seriously writing. the first proper fic (multichap) i tried to do kinda crashed and burned and the other ones never made it past a few thousand words. the writing was good i just dk how to make a story😭 anyway then in september i wrote a full hp one shot even though im not in the fandom anymore?? tried to reform my multichap and wrote a few more chapters then was like wait, this still isn't working (for plot reasons).

writing is hard but rn im working on a clyde biography which is easy enough bc it's it's basically just all my head cannons❤️

🔪what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project 🔪

usa secret service LMFAO

i was writing this bodyguard x presidents daughter clybe fic and i was like.. is he even necessary??

turns out that yeah the american president has a stupid amount of guards for him AND his family and some of them live in the white house

i was basically js trying to figure out if a personal bodyguard was a reach

but that's been scrapped bc honestly it would've just been a rip off of an incredible bodyguard fic from another fandom that i read, but oh to dream

the first chapter actually bangs though i read it over a few months back and i was like damn who wrote thiss

im also considering on becoming a baby electrician bc i feel like electrician clyde x terribly built house bebe would be SO cute, but if need to know so much for it to work, thoughts?

☁️what made you choose your username☁️

basically there was an era where i was like oh i should probably get socials so i made an ao3, twitter, discord etc and i just picked two random words for each. for ao3 my first username was savage toes but i forgot abt it so i made a new acc

i picked mardytoast bc my friend, who knows i read ff has a cat called melba, and she was talking to me one time and she was like oh it's melba as in melba toast and i was like oh okayy

so when i was making my user i used that but obviously im not stealing her cats name so i chose some other word that started with m

and im actually not joking i literally created the word mardy scholars would say i COINED the phrase. like i remember i was just like okay mardy i guess. AND IN FEBRUARY I FIND OUT MARDY MEANS ANGRY GRUMPY MOODY?? like explains that arctic monkeys song but damn. so if anyone's wondering I DO NOT CLAIM THAT im just mardy with no meaning

and in september (?) i created this acc bc this writer i was going to beta read for wanted to be able to contact me outside of email so i really quickly made this and just used my ao3 username!

omg and whenever she sends me the doc with the chapter she titles it 'Mardy's Copy' and the first time I saw it i had this out of body feeling and i was like WOAH...i guess im mardy now

(and also our one on one channel in her discord server of betas was called mardy's seat like cutee)

so now me and my username have merged and i genuinely feel like my name is mardy😊

so mardy is the alias i use on all accounts where ppl i actually know don't follow me!!

send in more asks pls i love talking abt myself

the ask game is in my recent reblogs <333

[pyroselkie]

Ok I feel like this is gonna be like super problematic or something but I feel like I should just get it out. I welcome comments, discussion, reblogs, and tags.

I find it really hard to talk about my own culture, because white (as in American/Canadian/British/Australian/etc) people talking about their culture has become such a taboo. And understandably so, to be fair, because due to colonization, there are a lot of cultural things that are no longer specific, and are now global in several other cultures that wouldn't otherwise have them.

I often see people in fandom from so many different countries and cultures take characters and put them in their culture: wearing certain clothes, eating certain food, doing certain activities, and so on, and I LOVE it. I love people exploring their love for their own culture and their love for their blorbo(s) at the same time. There's so much joy in it.

There's been several times where I wanted to join in, but felt like I couldn't because I "don't have a culture", as a white British person. But that's just completely untrue? I DO have a culture. It's not one that most people seem to care about, but I do. Sunday dinners, chip shops, pantomimes. Despite growing up in England, my dad is Scottish and I visited his side of the family up in Aberdeen on a regular basis, so kilts (they were worn by most if not all of the men at the first two weddings I remember attending) and bagpipes (I LOVE the sound, they're beautiful when played well) are also on there for me. My accent is a part of my culture too, and I genuinely love my accent (my strange little combination of RP and East Midlands that has people asking me if I'm Canadian...). Don't even get me started on the food (yes it's pretty bland and looks very boring but done right it's tasty and it's filling, yes i think it's stupid as hell that the british empire colonised a bunch of places in order to get spices and now a lot of white people in the UK don't even USE most of those spices)

With a little more thinking, I could probably list a lot more, but I feel like I can't so much as mention it off-handedly without someone showing up out of the woodwork to make fun of lower-class British accents (like when people say "bri'ish" (although I enjoy it when it's used in a neutral and fun way) or when people just completely fuck up and bastardise whichever already-discriminated-against English accent they're making fun of this time - honestly I think RP could stand to be made fun of a bit a lot more), or to make fun of the spices issue (like I said before YES it's stupid, do you think I colonised those countries myself????) and make horrid over-the-top gagging noises whenever "UK" and "food" are so much as mentioned in the same sentence.

I mean look at this. I just wanted to talk about my culture and how it affects me and I feel like I have to have such a huge lead-up and THEN I still feel the need to explain that the british empire sucked and that a lot of our food is quite bland etc etc etc.

With other (non-English speaking/non-white) cultures, people can just mention things and dress their favourite characters in traditional clothes and it's lovely and celebrated. Please keep doing this. Please put your favourite characters in your culture, there is NOTHING more joyful in fandom spaces than spreading your love of your own culture through characters that you also love.

I'd like to join in, is all. I'm not asking for the red carpet to be rolled out for me, I just feel like someone's gonna attack me if I mention my faves enjoying my favourite British food.

But even asking this feels like I'm being White(tm) and throwing a tantrum and whining "WHAT ABOUT MEEE?!?!?!?!" - this is NOT what I'm trying to do here. I don't need attention for it. Honestly the less attention I get the better, it feels like. I've seen some british hate on here that is genuinely horrible and disturbing. And sure, it's deserved for all of the colonisation and the many attrocities, but I didn't choose to be born here????? YES it's terrible but I'm tired of being the punching bag of everything that my country (countries?) have ever done wrong.

Is this entitled of me? It doesn't feel like it, but reading through this post, it kinda looks like it. Am I just insane and paranoid? Maybe. I don't know.