#I tried. and I’m happy I could pull out the hard of hearing card | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writingsbychlo · 2 years ago

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by moonlight | azriel

summary; you come home after a long few days away.

word count; 3804

notes; I got suddenly inspired by last nights cass fic. what can I say? I’ve been wanting to write for two weeks with no energy or time, I’m so happy to finally be able to.

As the night swept away from around you, you turned, finding that Rhys was already gone as you twisted. A simple drop off, that had been it, and the dark and stars were swallowing him once again. You couldn't blame him, it was the middle of the night, and he was practically falling asleep at his desk when you’d found him. You were almost falling asleep where you stood.

Light still filled the rooms, spilling out into the inky darkness between pale pillars, and you followed the muffled voices through to the dining room. As you entered, two heads snapped up from the table, matching smiles painting across their faces as they took you in. Cassian and Nesta were sitting at the table, a half-eaten board of cheese and crackers, two empty wine bottles and a third broken into, cards scattered around them.

“You’re home early!” Nesta perked up, and you shrugged, dropping your bag down from your shoulder to sit at your feet as you wandered over. Leaning your hip on the table, the yawn threatening to break free from you was hardly contained.

“I worked hard to get it done quicker, you know how I hate going away for too long.” You truly did, the worst part about your job was the days away on end on missions, too silent and too lonely on missions as you spent time away from your family.

“That’s how I trained ya’.” Cassian winked, your brows raising at him as you reached out to pluck a cracker and a slice of cheese from the platter, nibbling on the end of it.

“How you trained me?” You flicked a loose piece of cracker at him, and it bounced off his forehead, crumbling into pieces that rained down onto his lap as his mate snickered.

“Alright, how we trained each other.” His amendment was good enough, you were too tired to argue anything else, and he beamed at the nod you gave. Nesta chuckled again, smirking as she laid down another card on the set-up before you both. Cassian took it in, eyes widening a fraction, and then he let out a filthy curse under his breath. Nesta kicked his shin under the table, but the prideful expression only grew at his frustration.

Swallowing down the snack, you leaned over his shoulder, examining his card through sleep-blurred eyes and an exhaustion-muddled mind. You pointed to the King of Hearts, and he was quick to lay it down. After a half-second, Nesta was letting out an equally terrible curse and Cassian kicked her ankle this time. She kicked back.

“How are you still beating us at this game when you can barely stand up?” Your friend was not happy, her brows pulling tight as she concentrated harder on the strategy game before herself.

“Nesta’s just mad because now in one move, I’m winning!” She stuck her tongue out at you and Cassian. “There’s some tea in the kitchen, go get a mug and go to bed. You look exhausted.”

“Just what every girl wants to hear. Always the charmer, Cass.” Despite it all, you leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as one arm wrapped around your waist to squeeze you to his side in a hug, eyes never leaving the cards. You shifted, kicking your bag to the other side of the table and pressing a matching kiss to the top of Nesta’s head. She puckered her lips and blew a kiss back, equally focused. Scooping up your bag and throwing it over one sore shoulder, you tried not to groan.

“Goodnight, you two.”

“Night!” They sang in unison as you walked away, headed to the kitchen as a pot of hot tea called your name. “Y’know, for that comment before, you’ll never have enough moves to win later tonight, now.”

You smirked at their conversation as it faded into the background. The kitchen smelled like brewed herbs that made the cloudy tiredness of your head only thicken, your eyes feeling so heavy you could fall asleep where you stood. Grabbing two mugs from the top shelf, you poured hot tea into both, inhaling the streams of swirling steam and feeling a little tension melt from your body.

A shower, that's what you needed before you could sleep. You were stiff and sore and achy, and a hot shower would release all of that before you could get a good night’s sleep. Maybe the whole day’s sleep as well. You’d need it.

Making your way back through the corridors, every step closer and closer to your mate made your heart swell, feeling as though it was going to burst right out of your heart. Though you’d never put your walls up against him, you both knew that the bond had to stay quiet and cold and borderline dead when you were on missions, and one of your favourite parts of coming home was getting to feel it come back to life, feeling your chest spark back to life and the warmth of his love lighting you up.

Currently, the feeling inside of your chest was utter content relaxation, steady and soft and barely there. Not the usual influx of emotions, passionate and strong and heady like usual, the kind you got when he was tired, asleep, or drunk. Your suspicions were only confirmed as you used your elbow to open the door quietly, the door scraping across soft carpet to reveal the large bedroom you shared.

Laying on the huge Illyrian-accommodating bed, spread out across the mattress was your lover, wings folded away behind his back as he sat nestled among the piles of pillows. Plump lips parted, he was taking steady breaths, hair messy and glasses askew across his face. He was most definitely asleep, his shadows were practically motionless and they spread out across the carpet to all corners of the room, fading back to the places the candlelight didn’t reach as he had no use for them. He didn’t even flinch when the door clicked shut.

Putting down your bag, it was abandoned to simply be sorted tomorrow instead, and the two mugs were left on the countertop by the door. Kneeling down, your knees ached as you undid the laces on your boots, taking off your boots one-by-one and flexing your toes, wiggling them now that they were free. Placing them by the much larger pair sitting by the door, the image made you smile. You hang your jacket on the coat rack next to his, and padded near-silently across the room with one hot-ceramic mug in hand to get your robe.

Azriel didn’t stir, not as you got undressed, or put on your robe, not even as you brushed the hair away from his forehead as you leaned over him. The curl fell back down over the rim of his glasses, and you chuckled at the untameable hair. Lifting them off of his face gently, he let out a particularly rough sigh, nose scrunching as you took the glasses away, folding them up and putting them on the bedside table, atop the book he was currently working his way through.

No shirt, only a pair of black boxers as he’d obviously fallen asleep halfway through his evening plans. Golden skin mottled with pink scars and tattoos and the occasional hidden mole. He was like artwork, a pretty mess all for you. Bed-rumpled hair, pouty lips and candlelight flickering through the room and making every hard line and dip of his body seem emphasised.

Gods, he was a work of art.

He was your work of art. Your love, your mess, your man to take care of.

Next, you gathered up the papers scattered around him and his pens, clearing everything from the covers to the messy surface of his desk, and making a note to get him to tidy it up tomorrow before he got stressed. The curl was back, and you brushed it away, leaving a kiss on his forehead before it fell right back. He was so beautiful, but without those stress lines marring his pretty smile and his brows pulled tight together, he was ethereal. Taking a moment to appreciate it, you ran your finger along one cheekbone, and down the bridge of his nose.

“I love you.”

He huffed a little in his sleep, like his soul had heard yours. Pulling the covers up from the other side of the bed, your side, you cleared them away, before scooping your arms up underneath his body. With a grunt and a strain that ricocheted through your entire body, you rolled him over, all six-foot-five of Illyrian goodness until he was flopping onto his stomach, cheek pressed into the new pillow and he shuffled to pull it closer to his chest subconsciously.

He was tense, you could tell from the still-tight tuck of his wings to his back, crumpled from how he’d fallen asleep, and the taut muscles along his body. With a hand settling along mole-speckled skin between his shoulder blades, you rubbed lightly in circles, pressure building as you lowered along his spine. Like magic, as they always did, his wings drooped dramatically, spreading out along the bed and filling the space, his entire body all but melting into the bed, a trick spot on his body that always released everything he was holding onto.

Such a burst of love exploded within your chest that your throat felt tight and your eyes almost watered, and you rubbed at your chest, trying to contain the feeling within you lest it wake him up. It would be something he’d never let you live down if you woke him up being too in love with him. Your cheeks ached from the smile on your face, but you could live with that.

You were tempted to say screw it all, to crawl into bed beside him, tuck yourself under one of those wings, under one of his arms, to kiss at his jaw and cheeks until he woke up and tugged you close. You could feel the warmth of his body, the way his legs would tangle with your own and the bump of his heart against his chest that would match your own beat for beat. You trembled a little, arms wrapping around yourself as you took a deep breath.

No. If you didn’t have a hot shower now, you’d be locked up and tense all week, and you hated that feeling. If you weren’t going to stretch it all out, you at least had to shower. Plus, you were pretty sure there was still mud in your hair and sweat coating your body. Taking your mug of tea with you after tucking the blankets up and around his body, you made your way to the bathroom.

It was too bright, even with only one faelight lit, and you bit back a groan at the glare of pearly white tiles and marble countertops. Stripping off the robe and leaving it on the hook on the back of the half-closed door, you turned on the shower, leaving it to heat up as steam began pouring out. Another swig of tea, and you were untangling your hair from the right braids you wore to keep it contained and out of your face while you worked.

The rest of the bathroom felt cold as steam swirled out, surrounding you in delicate twists the way shadows normally would, affectionate and sweet and loving. The warmth they offered was much like that of Azriel’s touch. The sooner you were showered and clean, the sooner you were curling up beside him in bed.

That was the only motivation you had for stepping under the stream of water, eyes closing as you let the warmth pour over you, soaking you from head to toe and washing away the awful grime and dirt that felt like it had been building on your skin for years. It eased a sigh from you, your body finally slumping from the tight lines it held, your arms feeling heavy as they scrubbed at your hair, washed off your body, conditioned and cleaned until you felt brand-new once again.

As your face tipped back up into the water, heat beating down onto you, arms snaked around your waist. You jumped a little, and Azriel, silent as always, plastered himself to your back as he climbed into the shower with you. Your hands fell to muscle-bound forearms which were sealed around your waist, squeezing lightly as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

Turning in his tight hold, his crossed arms fell to sit in the small of your back instead, your cheek pressing to his chest, arms wrapping around him equally as tightly as water now poured down your back instead. You didn’t need to speak, to say anything, the calming feel of one calloused hand running up and down your back was more than enough. His own cheek came down to rest on the top of your head, chest inflating with a deep breath underneath you, brushing the top of your head as he exhaled.

Shaking out his wings, water droplets bounced off of them, flying out and spattering across the tiles, the mirror, and the floor, before they were curling protectively around you, blocking out some of the harsh light you were squinting against. You stroked the bond within your chest appreciatively, and he nudged his nose against your temple in return. Never one for many words, but he always managed to make you feel like the centre of his world.

You lingered a while longer, it could have been minutes or hours, you lost track of time while clinging to him, before he reached out to switch off the shower behind your body. Retracting one wing at a time, he pulled back, stepping out of the cubicle and running a fluffy towel over his body, before turning to face you. Reaching out, he cleaned down one leg at a time, drying you off as you balanced on his shoulders, before he was drying his way up. Fluffy cotton that made you dream of your bed, and he wrapped it around your shoulders, guiding you to the sink.

He tugged his boxers back on, pulling wet strands of hair over your shoulders and squeezing them dry with the towel as you began to slowly apply skincare. He reached out, picking up your abandoned mug and sniffling at the contents, humming appreciatively and taking a swig. His eyes were closer to shut than open, much like your own, night hanging outside and tempting you both back into bed. Even the sky was dark tonight, clouds hanging overhead, as though even the stars were sleeping tonight.

Tugging at the damp strands and separating them out, he combed through, and rubbed oils and products through your hair as he went, until they were smooth and clean and you had one less job to do. As soon as he had finished, he was leaning in, pressing a kiss to your neck, face burying into the crook as you leaned back into him.

“Shall we go to bed now?”

“Mhm.” Muffled by a yawn you tried to cover, the words broke off into a sharp giggle as Azriel leaned down to scoop you up under your legs, one hand supporting your back as he carried you back to the bedroom. The lights went out automatically behind you, and only the golden glow of a candle almost burned out was left flickering to light you both up. He was smirking tiredly, and he nuzzled at your cheek, pressing a kiss there as he walked.

You almost made it, your arms looped around his neck to play with the curls at the base of his neck, when he stumbled. Tripping over his own feet as his feet fluttered, the two of you tumbled down onto the bed, your body splaying out across it before he landed on top of you, only his wings bracing his fall, and your laughter was mixed together as you tangled in the sheets.

“So elegant, spymaster.” He only huffed at your teasing, dragging himself up weakly and resting his cheek against your chest, the weight of him pressing you into the bed, a weight you’d missed so terribly while you were away.

“You’re home early.”

“What can I say, I missed you.” He smiled against your skin, pressing a kiss to the spot above your heart.

“You should have told me, sent a message, or something. I’d have stayed up for you.”

“I didn’t want you to stay up, I want you to rest. Gods know you need it, sometimes.” If there was one single flaw Azriel had, it was that he tended to push himself to the limits whenever constantly, with no concern for his health. You’d known him to go days without real sleep before almost collapsing, and maybe he was working on it now, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still have rough patches. Your fingers dragged through his hair again. “I’m sorry I woke you, I tried to be quiet.”

“You were.” Another kiss to your collarbone, and he reached up until his face was resting within your neck. “I woke up because I felt you. I always know when you're near me, my love. I missed you, too.”

Your cheeks warmed, and it never ceased to amaze you how he could always make you feel like those first few months of your relationship, no matter how many years passed. “What were you working on?”

He jolted slightly, as though he’d fallen asleep again during that lull in the conversation, and he sniffled as he rose back to consciousness. Your hands moved from his hair, rubbing along his shoulders and his arms where they wrapped around you, a silent apology. “Hm?”

“I just asked what you were working on, that’s all.” Your whisper dropped even lower, your nails running lightly along his skin and he shuddered happily at the feeling, delicate scratches making goosebumps rise. A bloom of bliss unfurled in your chest, his hand coming up to rub over the exact spot, like he knew just where his feelings settled in your heart.

“Oh.. just some of your mission reports, so you don’t have to do as much paperwork.” His shoulders moved in what you could only assume was a shrugging motion, diluted drowsily. “I did what I could, but you still have to do all the brief ‘n’ stuff.”

Your smile was beyond your control, hidden in his hair as you pressed your face into the top of his head, sighing happily at him. As you kissed his hair, he yawned.

“Gods, I hate being away from you.” The words were carried on the happiest of tones, a kind of honey-sweet voice he only ever brought out in moments like these. Laced with tenderness and vulnerability and love, it was the kind of drug you’d become addicted to from the very first time.

“I’m home now.”

Azriel hummed, nodding. “Now stay forever.”

“What about your missions, huh? When you go again?” Azriel’s head shook this time, or as best it could with his face in your neck, and one scarred hand came out to adjust your grip on him, guiding one hand back up to his hair not-so-subtly. You did as asked, fingers tangling in messy onyx locks, rubbing at his scalp once again.

“No. No more missions. We’ll just live in this bed forever.”

“Yeah? What about food and drink?” These were the moods you loved with your mate, when the last of his walls came down, when the silly side of himself, the childish side he’d never been able to indulge in came out. Playful and loving and needy, it was your favourite part of his soul to have unlocked.

“We have that half-drunk tea in the bathroom. We’ll survive.”

You could only smile, eyes rolling fondly, and silence took over once again. Dragging himself up, he lay down by your side instead now, legs tangling with yours, a wing settling across your body as his fingers found your hips, settling over the bare skin and sliding around to sit at the top of your ass. His large hands stretched out, covering your lower back too, tugging you closer until your chests were pressed together.

You tilted your head enough to blow out the candle beside the bed, two of his fingers quickly turning your face back to him, and he leaned in, a soft kiss pressed to your lips. It was the final piece, slotting back to you as you came home, to him, to love, your lips working slowly together in a kiss that said it all.

Welcome home.

I missed you.

I love you.

A whole conversation without words as your hand sat on his cheek, as his wing settling over your body just the way you’d wanted it, and you snuggled into the feeling of him. He pulled back, and you chased closer, catching his lips once again, his sigh spanning across your skin as his face twisted. His tongue smoothed slowly over your lower lip, begging for access, pleading for more, and you let him.

Slow, sweet, sensual. Every part of your body touched some part of him outside, as his very presence filled you from your heart, inside to out. He grunted, your hand smoothing down his chest, muscles tensing under your fingers, until you were both panting, pulling away for desperate drags of breath into your lungs.

Your thumb swept over his lips, wiping away the kiss as he smiled, nudging back in until you were nose to nose.

Silence filled the room as soon as darkness did, only his steady deep breaths and the occasional rustle of his wings when he twitched to break the all-encompassing quiet.

It was you who flinched this time, when he spoke; “D’you see Cass and Nesta on your way in?”

“I did.” You couldn't help it, leaning in to place another kiss on his lips, another, starving for his love as he chuckled, squeezing your hip in warning. You were both tired, you were both almost falling asleep, and if you kept it up, neither of you would see a wink before the sun was rising. The second squeeze was a promise, a promise as his hand smoothed up your waist, thumb running under your bare breast without going further, a promise that tomorrow night you’d get everything and more. “They were playing cards.”

Your throat was raspy and cracked, and it only helped that his was equally affected - deep and rumbly - and he replied. “They’re practising for game night next week.”

“We’re still gonna’ kick their asses.”

“‘Course we are, love. We’re unstoppable.”

#azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel/you #azriel/reader #acotar x you #acotar x reader #acotar/you #acotar/reader #azriel shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses

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byhimawari · 1 month ago

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“Chamomile”

(a RivaMika drabble)

“Captain?”

Really, fate could be so cruel. And he only calls it fate because given how comedically instantaneous this all happened – ‘this all’ being that he, her damn superior, was caught red handed pathetically slipping an envelope of his proclaimed feelings under her door like some lovesick teenager – it’s as though it was simply meant to be. Add in the fact that since that cursed letter is already in her room, he can’t take back the evidence of his humiliation.

But ever the stubborn type refusing to accept he’s embarrassed — because Captain Levi never gets embarrassed; no, not him — he plays it cool.

“Ackerman.”

“What are you doing here?” She asks, her tone a bit more surprised than curious, much to his relief.

“Hall monitoring,” his sarcasm a mask to hide any hint of suspicion, “What are you even doing out at the halls right now? It’s past curfew, you’re supposed to be in bed —“

“What did you just slide under my door?”

And like a fleeting bubble, the relief is gone. Of course it is. It’s Mikasa. Nothing ever comes easy with her, especially not the predicaments he puts himself in.

It’s when she raises a dubious brow that Levi knows he’s lost, that no matter what direction this conversation goes, Mikasa is inevitably going to see the envelope and read it. He obviously can’t take or ask for it back — because if he’s going to lose the whole battle, may he at least keep some dignity — so facing the music is his final card.

Though his mask stoic, he chooses to speak with honesty.

“A letter.”

“A letter?”

“Yes,” his heart races and it beats at his ear drums, but his voice is firm with resolve, “Read it thoroughly. Good night.”

“But — “

“I said good night, Ackerman.”

He feels her gaze on his back as he walks away, and when he turns the corner that, hears her door shut, the click of her lock an echo. By the time he reaches his quarters, she’s sure to have finished reading the letter. Levi tries to block off any possible reaction she may have, not wanting the picture the best in case it comes to the worse.

But still her smile creeps in.

Levi closes his door and approaches his desk, needing to keep himself productive before he’s consumed by the image of Mikasa finishing his letter with what he hopes is the same smile that keeps fighting to stay in his mind.

But on his desk is something that wasn’t there when he left. A small box. Inside the box are transparent mesh tea bags, a blend of tea leaves carefully sealed in each, its aroma herbaceous and floral. But it is what’s under the box that captures his eye: a folded paper. He unfolds it. It’s a letter.

—

Dear Captain,

I promise this is not a prank.

In fact, this is very hard for me to say, which I guess is why I’m writing to you in a letter.

I’m starting to fall in love with you. Actually, I think I already am. I miss you when you’re gone and I’m happy when you’re around, even if you’re grumpy and annoying. You make me feel complete, a feeling I believed no longer existed for me.

I know you’re my captain and that I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. I really don’t know when this happened. Or how. Or even why my heart chooses you despite it all. All I know is in this world of chaos, you are my calm.

And I hope when we next see each other, you’ll let me be yours.

Sincerely,

Mikasa

P.S. Chamomile is good for sleep.

—

He reads it, again and again. He even folds and unfolds the letter just to see if the words remained the same, if what he read is real.

Chamomile tea is good for sleep. Levi looks back at the box of teabags, each beautifully and intentionally handcrafted with care, with him and his poor sleeping habits in mind. Him in her mind.

Just how often does she look at him?

While his insomniac nature is no mystery to anyone in the Scouts, there’s this warmth in her gesture, this thoughtfulness that makes the act feel more than a result of mere observation. And as much as he’d hate to admit, he can’t deny the pull in his heart at the fact that this is the same stubborn brat who picks fights with him like a hobby – endearingly-so now to some degree, enough for him to write a damn confessional – that cares enough to individually tie bags of dried and diced chamomile leaves to help his with his sleep, gifted together with a letter of love…

A heartbeat thuds in his ear and his throat. His breath hitches softly as he looks back at the letter, entranced by Mikasa’s words that quite literally tell him she loves him, the tea a symbol of it. And if she read his letter, which he’s absolutely certain she did, she now knows that he does too.

And that realization alone is enough to tug at the corner of his lips, a rare smile that he’s not trying to hide for once, a smile reserved only for her. Levi’s never felt so elated. They’re in love with each other, now without any doubt, and it feels like a damn victory.

He has to see her.

But first…

—

Mikasa looks at the envelope in her hands, her name neatly scripted on the front with his distinctive handwriting. She doesn’t know what’s more incredible: that her captain just slipped a letter under her door or the fact that she literally returned from doing the very same. Albeit, she left hers by sneaking into his office to place it on his desk while knowing he’s out on night watch. Fortunately, she didn’t get caught.

And the only reason she didn’t get caught was because Levi, unbeknownst to her, was at her door.

Her heart races nervously as she rips open the envelope, pulling out the neatly folded paper.

—

Mikasa,

As I write this letter, I’m inconvenienced with emotions that words often struggle to convey. It’s not always easy to articulate what’s in my heart, but I feel it is essential to share these thoughts with you.

You’re a gloomy brat. Through and through. But it’s the way you carry yourself with grace and integrity, even in the face of challenges that made me fall for you in more ways than one.

And in this cruel life where tomorrow is not promised, I don’t want to live nor die with the regret that I’ve never told you that I love you.

Thank you for being who you are — stubborn, gloomy, and endlessly captivating.

Yours, regardless of not if you’ll have me.

Levi

—

The entirety of his letter was nearly overlooked with that pretentious closure of his, almost scoffing at his audacity. Of course he’d never miss the opportunity to make it clear that everything will always be his way.

Yet, it’s that very audacity that warms her cheeks and curves her lips, the kind that unleashes the butterfly-like flutters in her chest and tells her that this is the ‘calm’ she sought for from him all this time.

Her words and his, both hand delivered, a request…

In this world of chaos, you are my calm. And I hope when we next see each other, you’ll let me be yours.

… and an answer.

Yours, regardless or not if you’ll have me.

—

The smile on her face grows, her eyes softening into admiration and something like relief. His answer had already been ready for her, long before she dropped off hers.

He loves her. He *loves* her. A profound emotion overwhelms her, like that of a lost hope reincarnating into something that tells her she’s actually worth loving. And as she reads over the letter once more, the warmth in her heart and the glisten in her eyes reassure her that she is.

There’s a knock on her door, startling her out of her trance. Figuring it must be important for someone to see her at this hour, she quickly settles the letter down on her desk. She makes her way to her door and opens it…just to see the very man who, per his words, is already hers.

“I figured you’d still be awake.”

She still feels the heat in her cheeks from his letter, and now standing face to face with him knowing exactly how he feels about her, and him knowing exactly how she feels about him, she can’t help but feel bashful.

“Did you need something, Captain?”

He answers with movement, holding out a cup of tea to her, one that she didn’t even realize he was holding this whole time, the steam filling the space between them with its soothing and familiar aroma. Very familiar.

Chamomile.

Mikasa’s eyes widen slightly in surprise as she gazes at the cup, realizing what it really is.

“Is that–”

“For you? Yes,” he answers simply, though his expression is softer than she’s ever seen it.

He extends the cup to her and she holds it with both hands, gazing down at it with the same confusion but surprise. It hits her then, the actual answer she was seeking, seeing now with certainty that this is indeed from the tea bags she made for him. And by realizing this, it’s clear he did see her gift…and her letter.

“Chamomile is good for sleep.”

A soft hitch of her breath escapes her. Verbatim are those words from her confession, a question written in a form of a sentence in which he alas answered. His voice is quiet but the words are loud, chiming in with this expression on his face, softer than she’s ever seen it, that tells her she got what she wanted.

But did she really? Is he really accepting her love for him? He’s beating around the bush here, his words so far all suggestive but not definite. But then, as though he just read her mind – something he’s frustratingly quite good at – he leans in, distracting her from all her unsureness.

“Yours,” he whispers tenderly, leaving no room for doubt, followed by a fleeting touch of his lips on her cheek, chaste and light as a feather, yet heavy on the promise that he was, is, and will always be, hers.

Just like he wrote.

“Now go to bed, brat, before I write you up for breaking curfew,” he says sternly as he pulls away, but there’s no bite to his tone, the familiarity of their banter turn love language making it all the more comfortable between them. .

Mikasa can’t help but respond in turn, a small smile on her face, “Not for sneaking into your office?”

“Don’t tempt me,” he replies with a short scoff, and like a warm blanket draped around her, he then gives a soft smile of his own, a rarity in itself, “Good night, Mikasa.”

With that, he leaves her be, and she retreats back into her room, sitting down on bed with the cup still warm in her hands. It’s when she takes a small sip that at last unveils the big smile on her face that she can no longer mask. And with every giddy sip she takes, each flowing through her system like a rush, she realizes that perhaps chamomile isn’t so good for sleep after all.

#rivamika #levi x mikasa #levimika #rivamika fanart #rivamika fandom #mikasa x levi #rivamika art #rivamika fanfic #rivaille x mikasa #rivamika headcanon #rivamika fic #rivamika fanfiction #rivamika drabble

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auspicioustidings · 1 month ago

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Kinktober Day 25

Moniker: Gaz, Alex Risk Level: Medium. Alex has never been detained and is visiting freely. Gaz is currently detained as a precaution, this is his first time being detained. Brief: Spit-roasting Safeword: Refer to first brief.

They’ve been trying to convince me to do this for years but I can’t give up that much control, you’re about to make them very, very happy habibi - Farah

“Fuck how are you this tight?”

You squirmed a little on your hands and knees, trying to somehow make space for Alex’s third finger as Gaz lazily pumped his cock and watched. Since that first time with him he was always a little gentler with you, always giving your waist a warm squeeze when you passed one another in hallways and bringing you hot chocolate before you went to sleep after an easier day. It didn’t mean he wasn’t still a bit of a wild card.

It felt like so fucking much. Even after being ravished so many times it still always felt like you were being stretched to your limit. It was good to know you supposed. You knew that the whole ‘used up’ thing was always a lie, but now you had very tangible proof as you bit your lip to stop from whining at the bite of pain from having so much inside you.

“Ah ah ah luv, only our teeth in your today” Gaz teased, bringing the tip of his cock to tap against your lips so you’d stop biting them.

You released your teeth and pouted at his methods which only made him laugh and smear pre-cum across your lips.

“I’m too tight today, I don’t think I can—mmph!”

Gaz wasn’t much interested in you saying you couldn’t take dick today because his just shoved right into your mouth, a deep groan leaving him at the scrape of teeth given you hadn’t been prepared to take him. You called him an asshole, but it was a muffled grunt around his hard shaft and he just grinned down at you.

“What was that? Couldn’t hear you?”

“Mmmhmph!”

“You sure darlin? Thought you said you were too tight?” Alex asked, all full of concern.

“Hey she says to fuck her mate, I wouldn’t dismiss her like that.”

You tried again to yell at him and wound up gagging as he pushed his cock deep, the tip hitting the back of your throat. You weren’t the perfect deepthroater yet, the gag reflex was still very much there which he seemed to very much enjoy.

“Fuuuck luv, c’mon swallow around it, that’s it. She says she wants you to fuck her up Lexie” he said, the last part in a sing song over your head.

“Who am I to deny her KyKy?” Alex sang back, settled behind you and bumping his cock against your clit.

He thrust a few times, his length nestling in your slit and spreading your wetness everywhere. It was extra slick, you think he had probably lubed himself up. It meant when he caught your hole his tip popped in with a lewd easiness, so slippy and warm.

“Goddamn she’s eager” Alex moaned.

Your brain was trying to split focus between not gagging on the cock in your throat and not clamping down on the cock in your cunt. And then they both shoved in deep at once and you lost both battles, your pussy squeezing around Alex and your throat constricting in a gag around Gaz.

“Fucking hell” Gaz hissed, letting you choke around him for a few seconds before pulling out so you could have a coughing fit.

“Noisy little filly ain’t she?” Alex teased, the bite of a growl in his voice as his cock was strangled by your pussy still bearing down on him.

“You can be as noisy as you like luv.”

You caught your breath, fingers gripping the sheets for dear life while you narrowed your eyes at Gaz.

“How gracious of you” you said dryly, your attitude being very swiftly fucked out of you as you ended the sentence with a deep, gasping moan when Alex grabbed your hips and pulled you back hard on his cock so fucking brutally that you felt sure he was going to come out of your mouth.

“You going to be a good girl and suck me?”

One of your arms had collapsed down, leaving your head lolling on the mattress. Honestly you weren’t sure you could do anything for him while Alex was rearranging your guts so good.

“Farah is watching you know” Alex said, leaning over your back so he could drop his voice and make sure the words weren’t being picked up by the mics. “She’s playing with her pussy watching you take us so well darlin’. Her cunt is fucking gushing over you.”

Fuck. That had your cunt gushing from the thought and he chuckled as he felt your walls massage him greedily. With a bite to your shoulder that felt like it may as well have been your clit, he whispered again.

“Suck Gaz’s cock like a good girl. Make Farah cum.”

Yes, yes you wanted to make her cum. You needed to. You got your arm back up, fully on your hands and knees again and opened your mouth so Gaz could feed his dick to you.

The two of them didn’t have to ragdoll you, barely even had to do any work at all. You threw your body back and forth, sinking back to take Alex and then pushing forward to take Gaz, further and further each time until they were bottoming out on every pass. It was hard work and you were sore and sweaty, but your whole body was pulsing with white hot pleasure knowing Farah could see how well you took them.

You couldn’t touch yourself and it was driving you insane because Alex had grabbed your hips and hiked them up to just the right place that every time you crushed your ass back against him your g-spot was getting nailed by his cock. You were a spider silk thread away from cumming, unable to get that last little bit of force that would snap it.

Worse still you couldn’t even beg properly, you could only look up at Gaz with watery eyes and hope you seemed pathetic enough that he’d have some mercy.

“Don’t give me those eyes luv, you just focus on swallowing our cocks hm? You do a good enough job and maybe we’ll let you cum with us.”

You whined as loudly as you could with him in your throat, the idea that they might not let you cum horrifying.

“He being mean darlin’? C’mere now, let me take care of you.”

You could have declared your undying love for Alex when one of his hands reached round and his fingers slowly circled your clit. Despite Gaz’s playful mean streak, he was petting your head and easing up a little on your throat so you could focus more on the pleasure. When you were right on the edge he pulled out.

“Let us hear you luv” he groaned, wanking himself off right in front of your face.

You fucking howled through your orgasm, cunt gripping Alex’s cock like a lifeline as his fingers continued to play with your clit through wave after wave of pleasure. When you thought you were coming down he moaned and shoved in deep to cum, the warm spurts setting you off all over again and having your pussy throb obscenely around his cock.

"Put your fucking tongue out!"

You only just managed to open your mouth, tongue out, and close your eyes as Gaz swore and painted your face with his cum.

“Should have put photography on the brief, fuck I want that as my lock screen” he said, looking at your cum streaked face and feeling some feral satisfaction at having covered you in his claim.

“You should see this end if you think that’s pretty” Alex countered, pulling out with a hiss and then spreading your lips with his fingers so he could look at his cum leaking out of your abused hole.

“You’re both assholes” you grumbled, collapsing down to relax and catch your breath.

They laughed warmly, Alex pressing a kiss to your spine before setting off for a cloth to clean you up and Gaz causing your pussy to get excited all over again when he leaned over and started cleaning his own cum off of your face with his tongue.

You were pretty sure he knew exactly what he was doing given that when he carried you to the bathroom Farah was already there with a wild gleam in her eye. The finger fucking she gave you against the shower wall told you just how much she had appreciated watching what had happened, because her fingers were already drenched from fucking her own pussy to orgasm.

She all but threatened castration to Price when he showed up to collect you and he just held his hands up with a dark look of consideration as she swept you away. You found you were perfectly content when after you got cleaned up she took you to bed and curled herself around you, holding you through the night like a lover would.

#mhairi'skinktober

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lesservillain · 11 months ago

Text

— i. did you get what you deserve?

summary: the beginning.

cw: season 4 canon divergent, grumpy eddie, medical talks

an: this is a wayne heavy chapter, but i doubt anyone will complain.

Ringing. A very loud ringing. That’s all Eddie can hear.

Something’s pushing on his chest.

The ringing gets louder, until it peaks and starts to fade. Muffled voices all around him, and he can feel his body shifting.

Then it shifts a lot. Ouch, that hurts.

Everything is dark. Or maybe his eyes are closed?

His eyes flutter a bit, but everything is blurry.

There’s some yelling, but it’s too garbled in his ears to make out what’s being said.

It was dark one moment, then suddenly very bright. Like a flash directly in his eye. And then again.

Everything hurts, he notices suddenly. But only because he feels it all slipping away. His body starts to float, suspended in black with a light just above him. Instinctively he swims towards it. It feels like warm sun rays on his cold, cold body.

When he hits the surface, everything starts to hurt again. His eyes open to a dimly lit room. Every part of his body feels heavy. Even moving his head is a challenge. There’s something next to him though, a presence that he can see out of his peripherals. He tries to call out, but there’s something in his mouth, his throat, obstructing his ability to talk. With all he can muster, he lets out a groan through his nose. Whatever is next to him shifts, moving quickly with a screech.

“Ed? Ed, you awake son?!”

“I can help who’s next!”

Feet shuffling beneath you, you clutch your handbag close as you move through the bodies of your classmates. A handsome man about your age with a million dollar smile sits on the other side of the table. He looks at you expectantly as you take the hint, fumbling in your bag for your student ID.

“Sorry,” you mumble as he gives the card once over. He says your name and laughs when you respond with a yes?

“Thank you for coming,” he beams, “We’re happy to see so many people volunteering to help out.” He clicks his pen and copies your name down on a paper. You look him over as he does this. Thick, dark hair styled perfectly, with long lashes to match. His name is Sam, per the Hello my name is sticker on his shirt. He’s cute, you think.

“Yeah,” your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth so it comes out weird. After licking your lips, you continue. “Our teacher told us we could get extra credit. I guess everyone could use it after our last test.”

Nursing school is hard. Even harder when you don’t know anyone in your class. A lot of the girls all went to the surrounding high schools and knew at least one other person in one of their classes. But that wasn’t the case for you.

“I’ve heard some of those classes you all take are no joke,” he laughs, flipping through a stack of papers next to him.”

“I certainly wasn’t laughing.”

He stops his flipping, looking up at you through those thick lashes, his eyes creased at the corners from his smile.

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

The question catches you off guard. Was it that obvious?”

“N-no, I’m from up north.” You gesture upward, pointing above you.

“Like Canada?”

Now you’re smiling, “Try Anderson.”

“Oh, jeez,” he shakes his head, “That’s hardly north.”

“More north than here.”

“You got me there.”

He pulls a small stack from his pile, sliding it across the table until it’s in front of you. You look down at it, immediately noticing that a large portion of the top page is blacked out by sharpie. Flipping it over, you see that the second page is pretty much the same, barely any information to be gathered at all from this “info” sheet.

“You look confused,” Sam says in a sarcastic tone.

“Um, just a little,” you sass him back, looking at him with a silent plea for answers.

“Okay, so, this guy here,” he points to the top of the page, finger just above the name Eddie Munson. “He’s not a very…popular guy around this area. I’ve been trying to get someone to take him as their case all morning and everyone’s turned him down.”

Your head tilts, eyes skimming over the paper as he talks. Under his name is an address in Hawkins, but most everything else is blacked out, even his age.

Still, even with the lack of knowledge you’ve hardly ever been one to turn someone down.

“Okay,” you say with a nod.

“Okay?” Sam parrots back, shifting forward excitedly in his seat.

“Yes, I’ll take him.”

“That’s great!”

He grabs his pen and writes your name next to Mr.Munson’s on the paper, before sliding it into a white folder.

Sam pauses for a moment, a hand running through his hair as he looks around. “Hold on,” he says as he stands up, “let me find my lead and I’ll try and get you some more information on him.” He looks into your eyes, then up and down at you. Was he checking you out? Ugh, why did you have to be in your uniform right now?

You stand awkwardly as he leaves, taking the time to flatten the wrinkles in your dress and adjust your flossie. This school was one the only schools who hadn’t gotten with the times, still mandating the Nightingale uniform over scrubs for any female students.

“Okay, so,” Sam tucks some papers into a red folder, “I wasn’t able to get anything too specific to tell you. I guess there’s a lot of hush hush going on with him right now. But, my lead did tell me I could give you this care packet. It’s all stuff you should know how to do, but it’ll give you a hint on what kind of care he’s going to need.”

You take the folder from him, opening it up to peak inside, only for him to place another paper with a card attached on top.

“That paper is for the organization itself. You just have to have the patient or guardian sign when you go over there as proof to get your credit. Oh and,” he points to the card,” that’s my information. Feel free to call me if you, uh, have any questions.”

Suddenly, someone bumps into you. You close the folder quickly and turn around with wide eyes.

“Sorry, sorry,” your classmate, Rhonda, apologizes with a wave of her hands as she keeps walking down the table. You breathe in, giving her a nod of acknowledgment before looking at Sam again.

“Okay, um, thank you for everything,” you say, backing up from the table and making your exit. He calls out to you, but your ears are already starting to ring before you can even get to the double doors.

Your feet carry you out of the building and into the hot August air. Sweat immediately beads at your hairline under the unforgiving sun, a most brutal summer that feels like it’s never going to end.

You make a beeline for the parking lot, fumbling with your keys as you unlock your car and immediately begin rolling your windows down to try and let the non-existent breeze cool down your interior. Reaching inside you grab your pack of smokes and lighter from your middle console, lighting one up and feeling immediate relief as the smoke fills your lungs.

The drive to your friend's house is quiet other than the low tune of the radio playing. Tonya’s car isn’t in the driveway, and you say a silent thanks under your breath to have some time alone. You love Tonya, she’s been with you through everything, but you need some time to mentally decompress before dealing with her big personality.

After a quick shower and a bit of rummaging through the fridge for something quick to eat, you sit at the dining room table and start going through the red folder Sam gave to you. The top paper with the signature spots had a section on the top that you hadn’t noticed before where some information had been filled out.

“The patient would like to be seen at…” You see a few time slots printed on the paper starting from 8 am ranging all the way to 5pm, the ladder being the time circled. You suddenly realize Sam never asked you what your availability was, or much of anything really. Not that you asked him anything either.

Five pm was pretty late in the day, and as you kept reading, you noticed that the next section asking for “frequency of visits” had Monday through Friday circled.

This guy wants to be seen every day? You think to yourself. Maybe he doesn’t have anyone to cook for him or something.

Going through the different directional packets doesn’t make you feel much better. Information on post op care, wound disinfection, dressing changes--things you’ve done before, but not by yourself, and certainly not in someone’s home.

Why do you do this to yourself?

The drive to Hawkins isn’t terrible. The “Welcome to Hell” didn’t do anything to settle your nerves, but you persisted.

A lot of closed roads lead you to take some detours, but you’d still be able to see how badly damaged the town was after the earthquake hit them. Businesses, houses, streets, all completely ruined by the way the ground split the town in fours.

You mustered up the courage to ask one of your classmates from here about what happened, and she told you that some serial killer tried to destroy the town by sacrificing teens to the devil. “Oh, okay,” was all you could give as a response. It was hard to tell if she was fucking with you or not, so you just decided to go and see Sam instead.

That turned out to not be a fruitful endeavor either. He seemed to dance around your questions, dodging them by asking you about yourself instead. You left with none of your questions answered other than a start date for your visitations.

The start day is today, a blazing hot Monday. You didn’t have time to change out of your uniform since your professor asked you to stay over to help clean up after labs, clock getting closer and closer to 5pm as you drive down this woodsy road.

A mailbox appears ahead with numbers that match the address given to you. You slow down and turn onto the gravel path, expecting to see a house as you do. Instead the drive continues into the woods, the thick lining of the surrounding trees blocking you from seeing past the brush even with full sun. The gravel crunches under your tires as you keep going down the path, following it up a slight incline before reaching a clearing.

In the center of the clearing is a one story ranch style house, half brick and half light blue paneling. It has a covered front porch, bare except for a small table and a single chair, an overflowing ashtray dead in the center. Well that’ll be good for you.

The house looked brand new, and completely out of place in the middle of the woods. It was almost creepy in the way it contrasts against the trees and dirt, no grass to be found.

That's what it is, you realize. This house feels void of life.

You park your car next to an old gray pick up truck and sit there for a moment. Maybe you could smoke one more cigarette before going in. But what if they heard you coming and wonder why you’re taking so long?

“Fuck it,” you say to yourself, grabbing your supply bag and pushing open the car door.

You keep your head down, watching the dirt stick to your black uniform shoes as you cross the yard to the front porch. You knock on the door, wiping your feet on the welcome mat as best as you could. A pair of dirty work boots sits just outside the door.

There’s movement behind the door that makes your head snap up, taking in a deep breath as you wait for the door to open. A quiet pause is interrupted by the sounds of multiple locks being undone and the door pulling open just enough to make the chain lock taught.

An older gentleman’s wrinkled face makes its appearance in the crack of the door, looking at you up and down. “Can I help you?” He has a slight southern drawl, voice a bit horse as if he had just woken up.

“Y-yes,” you squak, “um, are you Mr.Munson?”

His eye narrows and you see his arm shift behind the wall.

“Depends on who's askin.”

“I-I’m sorry, I’m here volunteering with Visiting Angels? I was-“

He cuts you off with your name, asking it as a confirmation of who you are. You nod, “Yes, that’s me!” He looks you up and down. He grunts, shifting a bit until the sound of something hitting the ground slightly catches your attention.

The door closes slightly, and with a click opens fully to reveal the older man in his entirety, standing aside enough for you to walk in, but his eyes scan the area behind you suspiciously.

“Come on in,” he says, closing the door behind you, “I honestly didn’t think anyone was gonna come.”

“Well, I don’t mind the drive,” you say with a tight smile. Mr.Munson stands in place as you let your eyes wander over the house. The smell of fresh paint filled your nostrils, and the new furniture and bare walls gave you the same creepy feeling as the outside of the house. As your eyes reach the front door, you suppress a physical reaction to the large shotgun leaning against the wall next to it.

A deep sigh from the man has you turning to face him, his rough hand running over his face to the back of his head. “You don’t have any clue, do you?”

“I’m sorry?” You’re having a hard time hiding the nerves that are bubbling up in your chest, body entering fight or flight mode.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he says, walking away from you and plopping down in one of the recliners. He gestures to the couch, “Have a seat, I’ll try and explain.”

You hesitate. You’re right by the door, you don’t have to do this. This guy doesn’t seem like he needs any help anyway. Sam’s words about him not being very popular in this area come to the forefront of your mind and now your head is swirling with possibilities as to why.

A small ringing from another part of the couch pulls you from your spiral.

“Shit, hold on a second,” the man says as he rises back to his feet, “let me go see what he wants and I’ll be right back.” He walks past you and down the hall, leaving you by yourself.

This is it. Just turn around now and leave.

“Whatcha need, Ed?”

Your ears perk up. Was the man you were talking to not who you came here for? Maybe it’s his dad, and the man you’re talking to is just Eddie’s tired son who needs help taking care of him. But why would he call his own dad Ed? Maybe it’s an uncle or a family friend? He did say he was a Munson…

“Okay, let me whip something up for ya.”

The mystery Munson walks back down the hall, slowing down enough to talk as he walks by. “The boy’s hungry, can we talk in the kitchen while I heat him up somethin?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” you say after a moment, following behind him into a large dining room/kitchen area. There’s a huge table in the center of the dining area that’s covered with boxes labeled with things like “dishes,” “salvaged photos,” “salvaged misc.” It all the sudden clicks for you.

“So, I’m not sure what all they told you,” the man starts, speaking with his back turned as he pulls some things from the fridge.

“I was given a name and an andress,” you say almost playfully, letting some of the tension leave your body.

“Should’a known,” he says, looking over his shoulder at you with a smile and a roll of his eyes. “I think its for legal purposes, they can't disclose much about my nephew or something like that. But, uh,” he nods his head to one of the bar chairs at the counter between the two of you, “I can.”

And so he did. He told you about how a murderer had escaped from prison and snuck back to Hawkins, murdering teens and attempting to pin it on his nephew. The killer had killed a girl in their old trailer, right in front of Eddie, almost killing him, too.

But, since no one had realized that the killer escaped, the whole town had believed it was Eddie the whole time. Four teens were killed, almost 5, and Eddie was brutally tortured before his friends were able to save him.

“Oh, my god,” you gasp with a hand over your mouth.

“I know,” the man, Wayne, says as he scoops the macaroni and cheese into a bowl. He opens a drawer and pulls out a spoon with a large, grippy handle that you recognized from your nurse shadowing. They’re normally used for people who’ve had strokes or other hand mobility issues. He shoves the spoon into the bowl and walks around the counter.

“I guess I’ve talked about him enough, might as well meet him for yourself.”

You slid out of your seat and follow Wayne down the hall to the very end. He gives the door a knock before opening it with a quick “coming in!”

Stepping in behind him, you see a large, mostly empty room with more new looking furniture and a few boxes in various places. In the center against the wall was a hospital bed with a large pull bar dangling above it. You were expecting to see someone laying in the bed, but were met with the sight of a lump of blankets and comforters instead.

“Ed, food’s ready boy,” Wayne says as he pulls a bedside table from against the wall to the bed. “Got someone here for you to meet, too.”

The lump on the bed moves a bit, and for a brief moment you see a set of eyes and a few wild curls peek from under the covers. But, just as quickly as you see them, they’re hidden once again.

“Ed—“

“No,” his muffled, strained voice calls from under the covers.

“Boy, don’t do this. You know I can’t leave you alone when I go—“

“No!” The voice squeaks, followed by a harsh cough. Wayne sighs, setting the bowl down softly.

“Let me get him set up and I’ll, uh, meet you back out in the living room.”

“Oh, okay,” you say quickly, backing out of the room and closing the door behind you. You’re barely down the hall when you can hear some strained yelling coming from the last room at the end of the hall.

You settle back in the kitchen where you can’t hear the conversation happening between the two men. You thought about dark and dull eyes that looked at you briefly, how even with only that small glance of him, Eddie looked tired. Just about as tired as his uncle, who rounded the corner a few minutes later.

“I’m so sorry about him, he’s just a little weary about strangers,” the older man says walking over to the phone sitting on the wall, picking it up and dialing.

“It’s okay, I can understand that.” You give him a small smile, which he tries to return, but is distracted as whoever he’s calling picks up on their end.

“Hey, Chief, it’s Wayne—sorry, yeah, Jim. Listen, Ed’s new caretaker is here, but he’s throwing a bit of a fit about ‘er. Think you’d be able to come and sit with him f’r the night until we can try again tomorrow?”

Disappointment washes over you. Not that you weren’t used to rejection, but you’d hardly been able to even give a first impression. Maybe your uniform put him off? Gotta start keeping clothes in the car to change into from now on…

The phone clings as Wayne hangs it up, body relaxing as a slow breath leaves him. He looks over to you, rather looking through you for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Little miss, can I be frank with you?”

“It’s the uniform isn’t it?”

Wayne barks out a laugh, and you chuckle even though your inquiry was serious. “No, no--well, maybe a little.”

“I knew it,” you rest your forehead in the palm of your hand.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to wear it when you’re here. S’long as you’re decent I don’t really care what you wear here to be honest. But, I did want to talk to you more about what we’re actually needing here.”

You look up at him, head tilting to the side in confusion. Several questions sit on the tip of your tongue, but you chose to just nod for him to continue.

“Okay. So, uh, I’ve been off work this whole time. Since March. I’ve been with the plant for a long time and my boss’s took a lotta pity on me with everything that’s going on. But…well that time is running out, and I can’t rely on anyone else to keep these bills paid, ya know?”

“Yes, yeah, I totally get that. Broke college kid here.”

“Right,” he chuckles. “So, I gotta go back to work. Tonight, actually, and, uh, I know this is short notice, but I need someone to stay here…while I’m at work.”

Your eyes go wide. “Oh, you wanted me to be, like, an overnight caretaker?”

“Yeah, I just, ya see with everything I told you about what happened, I couldn’t get anyone to come out and take care of him. Either they couldn’t pass a background check or once they realized who he was…So the Visiting Angel’s place was my last ditch effort to try and get someone in here. They said that it would be free if we went through the volunteer program, and that even though y’all are students that you’d still be able to help--But I understand if you can’t. You probably got a job and a family and a boyfrie--”

“I’ll do it.” The words fly out of your mouth without much thinking. But this poor man in front of you has been through hell with his nephew and how can you say no to him?

“Wait, really?” It’s his turn for his eyes to bug out, hardly able to believe what he’s hearing.

“Yeah, sure, I don’t mind. What time do you need me to be here?”

Wayne’s face softens, head hanging low like he still can’t wrap his head around your words. “Well, uh,” he starts, “I gotta leave here ‘round 6:30 and I work til about 5 am give or take depending on the night crew. If you'd be here about 6 or quarter after, that would be just fine. I don’t know how to cook much, but I could try and whip ya up something when I make Ed’s dinner, and you could work on yer school or watch tv or whatever girls your age like to do.”

“I’m plenty content to just work on school or watch tv,” you assure him.

“Good, good,” he says with a nod, turning to look into the living room. “We don’t got a bed in the third bedroom yet, so you’ll have to sleep on the couch until I can find the time to go and get one. Am I gonna have’ta talk to your parents or anything about why you’re not coming home during the week or anything?”

“What? Oh, no, no,” you wave your hands at his question, “Not unless you know how to talk to the dead.”

“Ah, shit, sorry,” Wayne cringes, hand running through his barely there hair.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” you say as you stand from your chair, “I will have to figure out how to tell my roommate. I don’t think she would like it if I told her that I was staying the night with a guy who was acquitted for murder.”

Oops. You bite your tongue between your teeth, wishing you could take the last bit of that sentence back. But Wayne’s laugh makes you feel less bad.

“Trust me, if I was in your roommates shoes I wouldn’t be too happy either.”

The ring of Eddie’s bell echoes down the hall again, pulling both of your attention to the sound.

“Better let me go myself. Don’t want to upset him again tonight. Why don’t you go head and head home and in the meantime I’ll talk to him. Try again tomorrow. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“Good,” Wayne says, walking you to the door. He lets you out with a goodbye, the closing of the front door being followed by the sounds of locks being put back in their place.

The drive home was quiet, but your head was swirling with thoughts. Your brain goes back and forth on the situation you just got yourself into.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, you decide to make a list in your mind of things you’d need to bring with you to stay the night; a toothbrush, deodorant, your own pillow and blanket—would they let you take a shower there? Hopefully so, since some days you’re going to have to come over straight from work or class. So add shampoo and conditioner. Probably body wash, too. You doubt that two men living together use anything other than head and shoulders.

You cringe when you think about using feminine products while there. Maybe you’d just keep them in your bag and grab them as you need them. It wouldn’t hurt to bring an extra towel in case you need to put it under you while you sleep.

Going through your mental checklist helps make the drive go by. Before you know it, you’re turning onto your street, where, surprise, surprise, Tonya’s boyfriend is once again parked in your spot in the driveway. You park on the street with a huff, thinking of all the things you want to say, but know you ultimately wont, not being one for confrontation.

“Hey, girl,” Tonya calls out from the couch. The smell of delicious food filling the whole house, so you know Charles must be cooking. “Go get a plate, Charlie just finished cooking.”

“I’m good, I grabbed something while I was out.” A lie, but you’d rather retreat to your room until Charles left. You’ve never been a fan of him and his pompous, know it all attitude. It was just better if you kept your interactions with him to a minimum rather than having to pretend he doesn’t get on your nerves.

It was a few hours later, nearing 10 pm when you finally heard Tonya shut the front door, signaling that it was safe to leave. She was cleaning up Charle’s mess in the kitchen when you walked out from your room.

“Hey,” you said quietly, keeping a comment about cleaning up after a child to yourself.

“I was wondering when you were going to come out,” she teases. “Thought I was gonna have to slip you a plate under your door.”

“Ha, ha,” you deadpan, opening the fridge to pull out leftovers from the weekend.

“So why’d you come home so late today?”

The calendar with both of your schedules scribbled in stared you in the face as you closed the refrigerator door. You weren’t a very social person, usually just coming straight home from school or work. And even though Tonya was a very chill person 99% of the time, that wasn’t the case when it came to you.

“I, uh…” you stuttered. You had the whole drive home and you forgot to think about what you’d tell her. If she knew the truth, she’d flip her lid and talk you out of it. You could try to lie, but there’s no way she’d believe you if you told her you were staying with a new guy that you’d never talked about or that you were helping out another friend she knows you don’t have.

“I had a job interview!” It was the only sensible thing you could think of that may be somewhat convincing to her. “For a…nursing home. As a nurse's assistant.”

“Woah, really?” Tonya sets her cup on the counter, jaw dropped in excitement. “Omg, okay, how did it go? Are they going to have you do another interview? Details, girl, details!”

“Okay, okay,” you laugh, putting out your hands to keep her from shaking you. You wrack your brain, trying to come up with a story on the spot. “It’s a newer nursing home…very small. Um, I would be able to do some of my nursing stuff under supervision of a nurse. And…it’s overnights—“

“Hold on, overnights?” Tonya interruptus, “Girl, that’s a lot with your school schedule.”

“Oh, um, I know, but its super casual and I can sleep in the afternoon when I get out of class or after work—“

“Wait, you’re not quitting CoffeeHouse?”

Shit.

“Ah, about that, um, I’m…still going to try and work there, just in case. Like if this doesn’t work out.”

Tonya eyes you, making your hands feel sweaty under her scrutinizing gaze. “I don’t understand,” she states with a concerned tone.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you need to have two jobs? You don’t pay rent, Charlie cooks for all of us a couple times a week. I take care of the bills—“

“I feel guilty,” you blurt out, feeling actually guilty when you see her face contort with sadness.

“No, babes, I told you that I didn’t want your money. I want you to focus on something for you for once.”

“This is for me though. It’s a chance to actually get a more authentic experience in my field, and — and I can’t just take and take from you forever.”

Tonya lunges forward, enveloping you in her arms. “Why noooooot,” she wines, fake crying into your shoulder, “just let me take care you, baby giiiiiirl.”

“Stooooooooop,” you cry back, “I’m an independent woman who don’t need no man, remember? I believe you’re the one who told me that.”

“Right, no man. But you do need me!” She pulls back flashing her picture perfect smile at you that has had guys folding for her since middle school.

“You’re right,” you sigh in faux defeat, “if only I was enough for you…”

“Oh my gooooood, just get over your hang ups and learn to love him. He’s really not that bad.”

“I don’t know what you see in him.”

“Not like you have room to talk.”

You gasp, putting on a dramatic display at her poking at your taste in men.

“Don’t even try it,” she flicks your forehead. “When you find a guy that’s not totally batshit, then come talk to me.”

“I can’t help that I attract the crazies.”

After a few more white lies and half truths, the conversation shifts to other topics, including that of a retreat that Charles is planning for the two of them for their one year anniversary. Eventually you wind down and head to your room, making sure to check the locks on the door and windows on the way.

thank you for reading.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson slow burn #disabled!eddie munson #eddie lives #eddie munson st4 #canon divergent #grumpy!eddie munson x sunshine!reader #eddie munson x nurse!reader

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chukys-mouthguard · 4 months ago

Note

hey! would you mind writing a mix of smut, angst & fluff for vince dunn please 😇

never not

4.5k words

genre: angst, fluff, suggested smut

featuring: vince dunn x female reader

summary: vince is traded and you try to navigate life without him, realizing it isn’t easy, especially when he comes back around

You still remember the day that Vince had been traded like it was yesterday. The two of you had been back in Mississauga for the offseason, enjoying the summer weather out on the boat when he got the call. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.

Vince pulled his arm from round your shoulders as his phone rang from across the boat. Seeing his agent's name displayed on the screen making his heart sink as he quickly answered.

He’d walked to the further point on the boat to ensure you didn’t hear the conversation, knowing in his heart the likely reasoning for it.

“Yup, sounds good. Okay, talk to you later. Bye.”

His expression, though he tried to brave a smile, told you that the call wasn’t some crazy contract extension keeping him in St. Louis, but rather your worst fear.

Vince had been traded.

He sat back down next to you, kissing your head as he pulled you into his side once more. His fingers entangled with yours as he sighed, keeping his eyes locked on the water as he knew the second he’d meet your gaze he’d fall apart.

The conversation didn’t happen right away, which almost made the situation worse in your eyes. But Vince knew that the moment he admitted it, it would only be a matter of time for the two of you.

The idea of a professional athlete was inevitable, hard to avoid if you aren’t a superstar on your team. And even then, those guys sometimes pack up and leave themselves. But this was something you’d always feared, telling Vince you didn’t know how you’d handle the news. Packing up to move across the country was not an easy option for you with work and renting an apartment in downtown St. Louis.

So when Vince had finally told you the news, you knew you couldn’t follow him, long distance not being something you felt prepared for. Nor was it something you wanted. What you wanted was Vince, and for him not to leave. But that wasn’t in the cards.

“So that’s it? You’re just done?”

Vince’s voice echoed throughout the apartment as you sat on your bed, having just told him that you weren’t going to be able to keep things going long distance.

“Vince, what do you want me to say? You want me to lie and stick it out even though I don’t want this? I told you I can’t go with you, and if I can’t go with you then I don’t want to hold you back.”

He rolled his eyes as he continued packing his clothes. With each shirt he folded and placed in his suitcase another piece of your heart was breaking.

“I want you to say you love me! And that you’d do anything to be with me! You don’t think we can make it work? I’ll fly you out on weekends, I’ll be back to play the Blue at some point. You want to throw all of this away over distance?”

“I’m sorry…”

Your voice trailed off as you weren’t sure what else you could say. Nothing was changing your mind. The last thing you needed was a long distance relationship to distract you from work. Constantly wondering how he was doing, going longer periods of time not talking because of the time change, so many minuscule things that you didn’t need weighing on you.

“I wish you’d at least try before you just throw us away.”

And you did try, for Vince. But you both quickly realized that long distance when he played for a different team, wasn’t the same as him traveling with the Blues. Your schedules never aligned, and it was becoming harder and harder to make things work.

Vince finally understood your fears and realized that you were right. Despite how badly he wanted to make this work he knew that neither of you were happy being apart.

The two of you calling it quits before the start of the season. Figuring it was best to let Vince focus on a strong start with his new team. Though you couldn’t lie that you missed him. Missed the excitement of a new season, going to all his home games, getting to wear his number loud and proud. Always being Vince’s biggest support system, and likewise he was yours.

It wasn’t the same not having him around to practice your work presentations with. Bless his heart, he never understood anything you talked about, but he’d always watch you with a smile. In awe of how good you were at your job, the knowledge you had of the systems and data. He’d let you run through things as many times as you needed, never once complaining.

But as you sat at the island in your apartment, typing away at your newest presentation, you missed having Vince look over your shoulder. Constantly asking questions, trying to read through your notes and relate to the topics.

Having him there to remind you to stop and take breaks. To drink water, eat food, and most importantly to sleep. Little things of course, but ones you often would overlook when cramming for a deadline.

You missed him, you needed him.

The sound of your alarm jolted you awake, realizing you’d fallen asleep at your computer. Your notes scattered on the counter as you checked the time. You must have silenced your first few alarms, as it was already 7:30am.

“Shit!”

Sprinting to the bathroom your turned on the shower, then hurried to pull an outfit from your closet and have it ready to step into.

Tossing your hair into a bun, no time to bother with wet hair, you jumped in the shower. The fastest one of your life as you couldn’t afford to be late for your presentation.

Light makeup would have to do as you scrambled to cover your dark circles, just hoping to look presentable at this point. Your hair was the next obstacle to tackle, quickly brushing it and opting to pin some of it back and out of your face.

Throwing on the outfit you laid out and looking yourself over in the mirror you told yourself it’ll have to do as you threw on your slides, which you would swap for heels once at the office. Rushing to pack your bag with the scattered paperwork from your island as you made sure to save your presentation before tossing your laptop in your bag.

Cursing yourself on the drive to the office you tried to remember the last time you’d run late for work, especially on the day of a presentation. It not being something you did often, let alone ever did at all really. Always waking up with plenty of time to run through your notes, double check your slides, and of course make sure your makeup and outfit were perfect.

Rushing into the office you made it to your office, slipping on your heels as you planned to use every minute of the available hour before your presentation to prepare. Scanning your notes and slides over and over until you know the entire thing forward and back.

“Just breathe, it’s gonna go great.”

Taking a deep breath you calmed your nerves, feeling confident that things would go fine. You knew your material, you sure as hell knew how to give a presentation, and your boss had full confidence in you. She’d told you plenty of times you could sell ice to an Eskimo. That was why she gave you these difficult sales presentations, because you always got the job done, no matter the client.

“Knock knock, you ready to crush another presentation?”

Checking the time, your prep hour had gone much faster than you had hoped. Your boss patiently waiting in the doorway of your office, a smile on her face as she watched you gather your things.

“Absolutely, let’s do it!”

“Y/n, that was amazing! I mean, they loved it. I knew you would pull another top notch presentation out once again!”

A slight blush coming over you at the compliments, just shrugging them off as you simply viewed it as another aspect to your job.

“I'm just glad it went well, I’ve been preparing for weeks. So, I’m happy if you’re happy and the client is happy.”

“You know, I’ve been holding off on saying anything. Partly because I wanted to see how this presentation went. But, we are looking to expand our offices, and I’m thinking you’re at the top of my life to get one of the promotion spots.”

Your eyes went wide as you were sure you heard your boss wrong, never expecting to have performed well enough for a promotion on the level of office expansion.

“Promotion? Expansion? As in, relocating?”

She nodded her head as she sipped her coffee, “Precisely, not entirely sure on where that location would be yet, but there’s a couple options. Though I’m gonna need you in the best location where I know you will succeed. Can I send you an email with the details once I’ve finalized things a bit?”

Nodding your head was all you could think to do, speechless at the idea of relocating. Your boss smiling as she mentioned a few more details, your ears not fully catching her words as your mind was already racing.

“But I will send that email sometime this weekend. And, you know what, how about you take the rest of the day? My treat!”

“Wow, thank you so much! I’ll definitely keep an eye out for that email as well! Have a great weekend!”

“I can’t believe she gave you the rest of the day off, that’s so unlike her.”

You laughed at your friend's reaction to the kind gesture of your boss as you took a seat across from her. The two of you meeting for lunch as you opted take advantage of the free time your boss had awarded you.

“The presentation went really well, so she was feeling generous I guess. But, please tell me, when was the last time you knew of me being late for work, especially on the day of a big presentation.”

Her eyes went wide as she looked at you from behind her glass of water, “y/n stop it! How late were you?”

“Not actually late, but running behind for sure.” Your voice trailing off as you scanned the menu, your friend thinking over the last time she’d known you to do such a thing.

“I mean, being honest. I don’t think you’ve done that since before you and Vince called it quits.”

Flashing a glare at her you sighed, the topic of you and Vince being one she occasionally brought up. Saying that she wished you two could’ve made things work, that you were meant for each other. To which you always disagreed, mostly because you were trying to convince yourself she wasn’t right. That you and Vince weren’t meant to be, that the distance would’ve proven to be too big of a challenge.

“Have you talked to him lately?”

Your eyes scanned the menu as you tried to ignore the question, immediately piquing her interest.

“Shut up! You have!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

You playfully laughed as you hoped she couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks as you attempted to hide the fact that you had indeed talked to Vince.

“Fine, he texted me about the presentation. It’s been on my calendar since before we broke up, and you know Vince. He was always putting reminders in his phone to send me a text the morning of to calm my nerves or boost my confidence a bit.”

“You texted back right?”

“I’m not that heartless. I just said thank you, I appreciated him reaching out, and that was it. No fairy tail ending of us getting back together. Sorry to break your heart.”

She playfully frowned as you two ordered your lunch, then circled back to the conversation about your job.

“So you’re gonna be relocating? That’s a nice promotion! But do you know where?”

“No clue.”

Shaking your head as you traced a finger around the rim of your water glass, your mind began racing at the possibilities.

“I honestly just wish she’d tell me now. It’s all I’m gonna think about all weekend.”

Your friend noticing how much the news was already weighing on you, never having been someone that could simply not let things bother them or occupy space in their mind.

“You know what you need?”

A nervous glance came from you as you were unsure what crazy suggestion would come from her. Already thinking of a few ideas you’d turn down in a heartbeat.

“You need to spend your Friday at a Blues game, like good old times! I got 2 tickets for tonight, what do you say?”

You rolled your eyes at the suggestion, not prepared for her to have suggested that of all things she could’ve said.

“Are you kidding? A Blues game?”

“Oh come on don’t tell me you don’t have at least one of Vince’s jersey’s still hiding in your apartment somewhere.”

You tried your best to hide the embarrassed smile that was creeping upon your lips, but she’d noticed almost instantly.

“I knew it! So I’ll pick you up, 6 o’clock. We’ll have drinks, some good food, it’ll be fun!”

Making your way down towards your seats by the glass, the atmosphere couldn’t help but feel familiar. This arena having held such a special place in your heart for the few years Vince called St. Louis home.

You’d dug out an old jean jacket one of the WAGS had made for you a few seasons ago, it was mostly decorated in St. Louis Blues colors and logos, which you preferred. Not wanting to stand out for sporting your ex's name and number.

As you relaxed in your seat, noticing you were on the opposing teams end for warmups, you realized you didn’t even pay attention to who the Blues were playing. But as you watched the white and turquoise blue jerseys hitting the ice, your heart sank.

“You’re kidding right? Is this a joke?”

Your friend tried to laugh it off, but she could tell you weren’t joking. What she failed to tell you was that the Blue were playing the Seattle Kraken, Vince’s new team.

It felt like a set up for some crazy movielike scenario where the guy and girl are reunited after breaking up, only to realize they were meant to be together after all. Except, you weren’t ready for that, you weren’t sure you even wanted to see Vince. The breakup hadn’t been too long ago, but you were still trying your best at life without Vince. Clearly not doing so great with almost being late for your presentation, but you were navigating those things. On your own.

Vince had seen you from the moment he stepped on the ice, taking note of the jean jacket you had on. Bringing a smile to his face knowing that you’d kept it even after the breakup. But as he saw you get up from your seat and head for the stairs, he knew you weren’t thrilled to see him.

“Y/n I get it, I should’ve told you but, I knew you wouldn’t come. I promise this isn’t part of some elaborate plan to get you two back together. It just so happened to pan out this way.”

Your friend ran after you to stop you from leaving, grabbing your arm as she pulled you away from the crowd on the concourse.

“Bullshit it’s not. You didn’t buy these tickets, did you?”

Her eyes fell to the ground, not able to hide the fact that you’d read her like a book.

“Vince bought the tickets, didn’t he? That’s why they are on the Seattle end for warmups.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want to see him y/n! You said it yourself, this morning you overslept and were late to work. When is the last time you’ve done that? Things have changed since you and Vince broke up, you can’t deny it. What’s wrong with seeing him play tonight? There’s no reason we can’t watch the game. No one is saying you have to see afterwards, unless you choose to. But, he wants to see you. He misses you.”

You tried not being angry with your friend that she’d been keeping this from you, that she’d been talking to Vince behind your back. But this wasn’t how you ever wanted to see him again, being misled to come to the arena with tickets he bought for you. No matter how hard you tried to not be upset by it, you were.

“Things have changed since we broke up, but that’s for me to deal with and get used to! It doesn’t mean that I have to take him back. Maybe I don’t want to see him. Maybe I don’t miss him. Did you ever consider that?”

She could see how upset you were, your voice shaky as you tried to pretend that the words you spoke were true.

“Is that how you really feel?”

Her tone was a bit sarcastic, though she didn’t mean to be. Tears threatening to fall from your eyes at any second as you tried your best to be strong, this not the place to break down over your ex and the feelings you still had for him. The pain of knowing he felt the same, that he’d orchestrated this night in an attempt to simply see you again. No guarantee that you’d even want to see him.

But you couldn’t convince yourself it was that simple. That he just wanted to see you from behind the glass, occasionally stealing glances when he was sitting on the bench. And you weren’t willing to stick around to find out what other surprises or ideas he’d had planned.

“I’m sorry, I can’t be here.”

Without giving your friend the opportunity to stop you, you turned on your heels as you hurried through the crowd. Calling yourself an Uber while you tried to hold it together. Figuring it was better to allow yourself the freedom to cry as much as you needed from the comfort of your apartment versus the busy St. Louis streets.

Once inside you didn’t make it past your living room before you finally had let yourself break down. It was truly the first time you’d let yourself feel the emotions and heartache of losing him. You’d forced yourself into your work, prepping for presentations, distracting yourself from the idea of life without him. That you never really allowed yourself to feel what that was like. And the idea that he was feeling the same, it all hit you like a freight train.

The soft knock at your door jolted you awake, scanning the apartment as you were unaware you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Checking the time you wondered how long you’d been asleep for, 11:45pm.

Slowly making your way to the door you assumed it was your friend, having seen a few missed texts and calls from her. But as you opened the door, you revealed the last person you’d thought to see.

“Vince? What, why are you here?”

Your tone came off a bit cold, though not intentional, as you were still waking up and now this. He took a deep breath as a soft smile crept across his lips.

“I, I needed to see you. You didn’t stay for the game, so I knew this was my only chance.”

He didn’t bother letting you invite him in, in fact it had been your shared apartment at one point in time. His eyes scanning the kitchen, then the living room. Noticing you’d not taken the opportunity to redecorate. Especially paying attention to the pile of picture frames that sat on your dining table, still holding the memories of you and him.

“Why’d you do that?”

Vince looked to you confused, holding tight to a framed photo of the two of you the night he’d won the Stanley Cup.

One of the best nights of both of your lives.

As the clock ticked down to zero, you jumped up and down with the other WAGS. Tears running down your face as you screamed at the top of your lungs. Vince had done it, the Blues had done it. They won the Stanley Cup.

All the times he’d gotten to be proud of you for crushing a presentation at work, for getting a raise, or a promotion. Now it was your turn to be so incredibly proud of him.

The moment you found him on the ice you couldn’t let him go, his arms wrapped around you as the two of you cried. Knowing how hard he’d worked to even get an opportunity on NHL ice, it had all paid off.

“I fucking love you so much.”

You pulled him in for a kiss as he spun you around, careful not to trip over his own skates.

“I’m so proud of you baby!” The compliment spilling from your lips as your hands held his face, never wanting to forget this moment. The pure joy on his face, the look in his eyes knowing he’d done what only a select group of players will ever do in their careers. Wishing you could live in that moment forever.

“Why’d I do what?”

“The tickets, why did you come up with this elaborate plan to get me there?”

Vince set the frame down, walking further into the apartment as he took a seat in the living room.

“Because, I had to see you y/n. From the moment I left, I knew, it’s always been you. And, I couldn’t come back here and just ignore the fact that you exist.”

“Did you consider the idea that maybe I didn’t want to see you?”

Vince laughed at your comment, knowing it was a lie no matter how hard you tried to sound convincing. He could see that you wanted to just hold him, feel close to him again after everything. He could see that you wanted so badly to admit to him that you were glad he’d attempted to see you, because life without him sucked. To put it plainly.

You wanted so badly to tell him that things weren’t the same without him. That you couldn’t sleep, you were running late to work, that you missed him like crazy. But you knew nothing would change. You’d tell him how you felt, and by the morning he’d be off to the next stop on the team’s road-trip. And soon enough, you would be heading off to somewhere new yourself with the promotion coming for your job.

It seemed pointless to even bother him with your emotions and your feelings, despite how much you could see he wanted you to be honest with him.

He stood up from the couch as he closed the distance between the two of you. Noticing the scattered notes on the counter, assuming they were from a late night cram session for today’s presentation.

“How did it go today?”

You noticed him tilt his head in the direction of the kitchen island, letting out a sigh as you tried to look anywhere but his eyes.

“Um, great, actually. Didn’t start out that way. But, I crushed it. And, I’m getting promoted because of how well I did.”

A smile grew on his face at the news, loving to hear that you were still killing it at your job.

“That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you, seriously. But, why did it not start out great?”

Shaking your head you knew you couldn’t lie, Vince knew you too well and would see right through you. Watching as you nervously picked at your nails, searching for the words to say.

“I overslept, and was running late.”

“You overslept? Since when do you oversleep? And run late for a presentation, you’ve never done that.”

“Because I don’t have you Vince!”

You didn’t mean for your words to come out so harsh, your voice a bit louder but not really yelling as you retreated to your bedroom. Not knowing where to go but not wanting to face Vince, not wanting him to see you finally break down and let him know that you did in fact miss him.

“Y/n, talk to me, what do you mean you overslept because you don’t have me?”

Trying to distract yourself by aimlessly folding laundry, you shrugged.

“I don’t know Vince, it’s just, things are not the same without you. I never overslept when you were here. You helped me prepare for all my presentations, made sure I got enough rest. Made sure I was eating, drinking, everything. You were everything. And without you everything is different. But, it doesn’t matter how I feel. Any minute now I’m getting an email from my boss that is going to tell me what new city I’m getting relocated to, and none of this will matter because you’re going back to Seattle. And nothing is going to change. So just forget it, please. It doesn’t matter.”

Not wanting to cry in front of him, you attempted to retreat to the bathroom. Vince immediately grabbing your hand to stop you. Seeing that these weren’t emotions or thoughts that didn’t matter, and it was clear that you were feeling the same as him.

“It does matter. All of that matters y/n.”

He tucked your hair behind your ear, his hand resting against your cheek as his eyes scanned your face. Stopping to meet yours as he saw how much you were hurting.

“It matters because I love you, I miss you. So fucking much. And you’re right, things are different. Everyday I wake up and wish I could do anything to go back to the day I got traded and convince you right there to move with me. I would do anything I could to have you with me again.”

His forehead rested on yours as his hands now traveled to your sides, a grip on your hips as your hands played with the hem of his shirt.

“And I know you feel the same way, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself you didn’t want to see me, I can see it on your face you’re fighting with yourself to be strong. But, if this is the only chance I have. If you’re off to somewhere new yourself, and if you truly don’t want to see me after this,”

He closed the distance between you, crashing his lips to yours as your hands instinctively pulling him closer. Missing the feeling of him so close, the feeling of his lips on yours. Not caring that in the morning he’d be gone, and you’d go back to trying to navigate life without him. But for now, it felt right, and you couldn’t let him go.

“Please, just give me one last night to remind you how much I still love you.”

#vince dunn angst #vince dunn blurb #vince dunn x reader #vince dunn fic #vince dunn #vince dunn imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fics #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb

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buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger · 7 months ago

Text

Not Alone

Bucky x GN!Reader

Description: Bucky is refusing to come to terms with everything that’s happened following the fight with Thanos, and you know that the walls he’s carefully built up around his emotions are going to come crashing down one day. So what happens when they finally do?

Warnings: Angstyyyyy, Bucky is SAD, takes place somewhere between that and FATWS but idk where, crying, hurt/comfort, I don’t know if it’s an inherently “happy” ending per say, but it's a comforting one I think, some mentions of bad mental health, NOT Endgame!Steve Friendly (just like me)

A/N: I am sorry for this

((18+ only below the cut please and thank you!!))

Bucky had been struggling, you knew it.

You’d been by his side for long enough to know when he was trapped in his own mind

But this was different

Usually, you could at least get him to tell you what was wrong

But ever since the fight with Thanos he’d avoided talking about what was wrong

You could hardly blame him, it had been a difficult last few months

In the fallout of his return from spending 5 years as a dust pile and the subsequent fight, you had held Bucky’s hand through Tony’s funeral, being placed in a holding cell by the US Government, his pardon hearing, moving back to Brooklyn, starting his court-mandated therapy, and trying to acclimate to the modern world, and fully come to terms with the pain and torture HYDRA had inflicted him for decades.

And then of course there had been Steve.

You knew Bucky was upset and hurt over his best friend leaving him, and everyone else he had grown close to, behind to be with Peggy.

And you could hardly blame him.

Suffice to say, Bucky had been through few months alone, and you knew it had been hard on him

But whenever you had tried to ask him about it he simply smiled and said “I’m fine, Doll. I’m okay.”

But you couldn’t help but notice that it didn’t reach his eyes.

He was trying so hard to be strong, to push down how he was feeling, but you saw the seams starting to unravel

All the pain he’d been feeling for months finally came to a head late one night

You two were doing dishes after dinner, you were washing and he was drying

Occasionally, Bucky would bump his hip against yours, making you smile and gently splash water at him, making him laugh

You and your boyfriend loved this, just enjoying each other’s presence with the two of you being giant dorks together

Everything was good, you two were having fun

Until Bucky went to dodge one of your splashes and lost his grip on the glass he was drying.

The glass shattered on the floor below, and he immediately went tense.

“Oh God, Bucky!” You grabbed his flesh hand gently, checking for injury, “are you okay?”

He didn’t reply, but looked down at you touching his hand

“I don’t see any injuries. You’re alright, Sweetheart. I’m gonna clean up the glass, okay?” You pressed a kiss to his stubbly cheek, but he didn’t look up.

Cleaning up the shattered glass went quickly, but when you finished you noticed Bucky was staring blankly at the floor where you’d cleaned, his blue eyes misty

“Bucky?” You cupped his face, but he still wouldn’t look at you, “Talk to me Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

“N-nothing,” his voice was soft, like he was trying his hardest to keep it from wavering, “I’m fine, Doll.”

“If you can look me in the eyes and say that, I’ll believe you.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” it was almost a chant as he slowly lifted his head, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m–”

As soon as Bucky looked you in the face he burst into sobs, falling to his knees in front of you.

It tore a hole in your chest.

“Oh…” you knelt down in front of him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close, cradling his head against your shoulder, “oh Baby, oh, Bucky…”

He buried his face in your neck as you rocked him from side to side, your fingers carding through his hair, “shhhh, it’s alright, let it out, Baby Boy, let it all out…”

“H-He was my best friend,” Bucky whimpered, “h-he was my best friend, and he…he j-just fucking left me here–!”

“Oh, Baby, I know,” you kissed his temple, “I know. I’m so sorry, Sweet Boy…”

You held him tighter as he dissolved into sobs again.It broke your heart.

You knew that this was good for him, that Bucky had been fighting this for so long

He needed the release, the catharsis, but that didn’t mean it didn’t fill your broken heart with anger.

Anger at Steve for leaving the man in your arms behind in a world he didn’t understand, at the Government agents that treated him like a criminal for things that he had been forced to do when he had no control over his mind and body, at anyone who had ever caused this kind, sweet, gentle, loving man harm and left him unable to feel his emotions properly until he reached his absolute breaking point

When Bucky calmed down again you suggested moving to the couch

“It’ll be a lot more comfortable than the floor, Baby,” you said, gently taking his hand in yours and leading him to the living room

Once you two were seated you wrapped him in your arms again, keeping him close and rocking him.

“Talk to me, Baby, please,” you cupped his face, thumbing away his tears, “tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“It’s… I wasn’t worth it.” Bucky said in a quiet, broken voice, “I told Steve I wasn’t, back when he… when we were on our way to Siberia. He tried to tell me that I was, and being with you, in Wakanda, when I was finally free I started to think that maybe he was right, maybe I was worth saving. That I was deserving of some kind of peace. But then Steve–”

His voice cracked, and you gave him a comforting hug.

“I just keep thinking that if I was really worth what you all went through for me then he– he wouldn’t have left me here alone."

Tears flowed freely again, and you hugged him tightly to you, pressing comforting kisses to his temple

“Shhhhh, Baby Boy, it’s alright,” you whispered, “it’s gonna be alright…”

Bucky shook his head and buried his face further into your neck

“I just… it makes it hard, y’know?” You nodded and kissed his forehead, he took a deep breath and added, “I’m scared. I keep thinking that one day I’m gonna wake up and you’re not gonna be there. T-that you’re gonna realize the same thing he did. That I’m not worth all of this.”

“Oh… Oh no, oh, Bucky…” You rubbed his back, pressing kisses to the top of his head, “oh, Honey…”

You cradled his head against your chest, running your fingers through his hair and hushing him, rocking him from side to side.

Once he’d calmed down slightly you took his face in both hands, stroking his stubbly cheeks.

“Baby? Can you look at me, please?” His sad blue eyes met yours, and you gently wiped the tears from them.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Bucky. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through, Baby. And I’m especially sorry that you were made to think like that.”

Bucky looked you in the eyes. No one had ever said that to him before.

“and speaking as someone who was involved in all of that trouble? You were absolutely worth it. Every minute of it. The two years Sam, Steve, and I spent looking for you, every fight, every bit of time spent on the run, every moment spent waiting for Shuri to okay letting you out of the ice in Wakanda. I would go through every second of it again if it meant that you got to be free, Sweet Boy. Even if you weren’t the man I love, even if you weren’t Steve’s best friend, even if you were just some guy I had no attachment to, I would fight just as hard if it meant you got to be safe and free from those monsters. Because you didn’t deserve HYDRA’s abuse, and you didn’t deserve to be punished for things you couldn’t control.”

He rested his hands over yours, and you pressed your forehead against yours

“I know it’s hard to trust anyone after what Steve did, I know. But I would never, ever leave you alone. I’m with you for the long haul, Sweetheart. You’ll always be worth it in my eyes."

His eyes searched your face, looking for any sign that it wasn’t true, and found nothing but genuine love and care. You gave him a soft sad smile.

“I’ll be here, right by your side, as long as you want me, Baby,” you kissed the tip of his nose, “you aren’t alone anymore, Buck. You’ll never be alone again.”

Bucky dissolved into tears in your arms again

“I-I’m sorry,” he cried over and over into your shoulder, embarrassed at his carrying on, “‘m sorry I keep cryin’...”

“Shhhhh….” you continued rocking him and rubbing his back, “you don’t have to apologize for expressing your emotions, Sweetheart. You’re allowed to feel bad. You’re allowed to let it out. I’ll be here for you.”

You held Bucky until he calmed down, and he let you lead him into the bathroom to clean his face with a cool cloth, not wanting the salt from his tears to irritate his skin, and showering him with affection and love.

When you two finally laid down to sleep that night you held the man you loved as close as humanly possible, pressing little kisses to his hairline and rubbing his back

Bucky nestled into your chest, listening to your heartbeat and relishing the feeling of skin-to-skin contact

“Get some sleep, Baby Boy,” you whispered, “I’ll always be here when you wake up. I love you so much, my Darling.”

Bucky looked up at you, a small but genuine smile on his face.

The first you had seen in the months since Thanos

“I love you too.” he kissed your lips, “goodnight, Doll.”

As Bucky drifted off in your arms, he felt better.

Lighter.

Better than he had in months.

He wasn’t cured, he knew that.

The demons of his past still haunted him, still clawed at the edges of his mind and whispered that he wasn’t worth the pain

But knowing that he wasn’t alone, that you would stay by him and support him through even his darkest days?

That you wouldn’t leave no matter what?

Maybe he could finally start to heal

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #buckybarnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes angst #hurt/comfort #bucky barnes headcanon

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fanfics4all · 5 months ago

Text

Fainting

Request: Yes / No Thank you @badthingshappenbingo for my card!

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Fangs Fogarty x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3747

Warnings: Bulimia, Self-harm, Starvation

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Prompt(s):

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Fangs and I have lived together for about a month now, and in that month I’ve managed to hide the fact that I fucking hate my body. No one knew and I was too worried about being judged to tell anyone. I knew deep down that Fangs would never judge me, I mean we’ve been dating for three years now, but the voices always win in the end. So that’s why I spend a lot of time in the bathroom whenever Fangs goes out without me.

“I’ll be back in a bit, babe!” Fangs called. He was going out with Pea for a job with the Serpents.

“Okay! Be careful!” I called back. Ironic I’m telling him to be careful when I sit at home and throw everything up.

“I will, love you!” He said.

“Love you too!” I said and heard the door close behind him. I waited a bit to make sure Fangs wouldn’t walk back in because he forgot something. The last time that happened I pretended to shower so he wouldn’t hear me. Once I was sure he wouldn’t come back I got off our bed and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out the scale and took a deep breath before I stepped on it. I closed my eyes and tried my best not to shake. I took another calming breath and slowly peeled my eyes open to look at the horrid number. 130 pounds… I sighed, at least I lost two pounds since yesterday. I didn’t really eat anything yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that. In fact, I couldn’t really remember the last time I ate a proper meal in which I didn’t throw up a few hours later while Fangs was asleep. It was probably a year ago? Someone at school made a comment about me that I brushed off in the moment, but it was like a silent switch flipped in my brain. After that, I went home and stared at the mirror, noticing all the imperfections about myself. That was the day I decided to lose weight. When normal methods weren’t working, I turned to the extreme. It was the only thing that gave me results… It didn’t help that I started comparing myself to people Fangs talked to. The girls were way prettier than I am. The boys were skinnier than me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Fangs chose me out of everyone. I couldn’t think of any reasons that Fangs stayed with me all this time, or even why he asked me to move in with him after my trailer burnt down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy with Fangs, but something in my head just isn’t on the same page as my heart.

I sighed and looked down at the number once again. 130 pounds. It was below the average weight of my age group, but 120 or even 110 would be way better. I stepped off the scale and looked at myself in the mirror.

Look at your thighs, they’re so fat. Don’t forget that huge stomach of yours. Did you see that girl he was talking to at the bar last week? Now she was perfectly skinny. The perfect body.

I sighed and ran my fingers over my body. Fat. That was all I could feel. I was fucking fat. No matter how little I eat, or how much I worked out. I will always be fat. Fat and fucking ugly. I would never be perfect like those people Fangs talk to. I took off my clothes and looked in the mirror again. I stared at my stomach. Even though the scale says I got smaller, to me it looks like my stomach has grown another twenty pounds. My stomach growled as I lightly touched it. I hated the hunger pains, but the feeling of emptiness was too addictive. I love feeling like I finally was in control of my body. I moved my hands down to my thighs and felt the small scars that were slightly raised. When I first started that’s how I would punish myself when the workouts didn’t work, or if I gained another pound or two. That didn’t last long since Toni found out and told Fangs. I wasn’t too attached to the cutting, so that was easy to stop. The sharp pain as the razor glided through my skin, pulling beads of crimson up through the cut, wasn’t as good as the starving. It didn’t make me feel better like not eating. I shook my head and glanced over at the toilet. I’ve become very acquainted with it. My head was shoved inside it at least twice a day. Sure my stomach was empty, but I knew I could still get some stuff out of me. I kneeled down and gently lifted the lid. I stared down into the toilet and took a few breaths. Throwing up on an empty stomach always hurt, but it was worth it to lose those few pounds. I opened my mouth and took my pointer finger into my mouth. I slowly pushed it to the back of my throat and gagged once I found the spot. I was good at not pulling my finger out when I gagged now, so I just kept pushing on it. My stomach was screaming in pain as it tightened with each gag. It took a few minutes, but eventually, I felt the burning creep up my throat. I pulled my finger out and leaned over the toilet. I watched as the bile flew into the water and already felt a little lighter. It wasn’t much, but every little bit helps. I took a few breaths to recover and quickly pushed my finger back inside my mouth. Once again it took a bit, but I eventually threw up more bile. It still wasn’t enough though. I kept going and going until my head started to spin. I felt really dizzy and weak, but it was working. I felt lighter. I kept going until black dots invaded my vision. I fell back on my ass and held my head.

“J-Jus-st a b-bi-it mo-ore…” I slurred to myself. I tried to get back up so I could finish, but I just fell to the floor more and my vision turned completely black…

*Fangs POV*

I walked back into the trailer with a smile as I carried some Pop’s for me and Y/N. I placed the bags and drinks on the coffee table and noticed Y/N wasn’t there. Must be in our room with her laptop or something.

“Babe, I’m back! I brought Pop’s.” I called but got no answer.

“Baby?” I called again, thinking she couldn’t hear me. Still nothing.

“Y/N, you asleep or something?” I said as I walked towards our bedroom. She wasn’t there. I furrowed my brows and wondered if maybe she went out with Toni or something. I pulled out my phone and called her. I heard her phone ring and followed it to the bathroom. I quickly hung up and walked over to the bathroom. The shower wasn’t running so she should have heard me.

“Y/N? Baby? You in there?” I asked as I gently knocked. No answer. My heart started pounding faster and I quickly opened the door. I stopped in shock as I stared inside the bathroom. Y/N was lying on the floor, looking unnaturally skinny and there was vomit in the toilet. I quickly rushed over to her and checked her pulse. The small thump from her neck made me sigh in relief. I carefully pushed my hands under her and lifted her up. I gasped when I felt how light she was. How did I not notice how much weight she lost? How did I not notice how her bones were starting to be visible through her skin. I shuddered and felt tears pushing themselves to the surface. How the hell could I be such a shitty boyfriend and not realize the love of my life was putting herself in so much danger. I carefully made my way to our room and gently laid her down. I grabbed one of my shirts and carefully put it on her, she was drowning in it. I tucked her in so she wouldn’t get cold and checked that she was breathing again. I sighed and left to deal with the bathroom. Once I was done cleaning I grabbed her some water and placed it on the nightstand. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her. I stoked her hair and tried my hardest to think of what could have made her do this, or even when she started. I blamed myself for not seeing anything different. I believed every smile Y/N always put on. Every laugh she made. How the hell did I not see anything!? I tried to calm myself down, but I was so angry with myself. Maybe even a very small part of me was mad at her for not coming to me, but I pushed that away. I shouldn’t be mad at her, she needs me more than ever. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Toni and see if she knew anything about this.

“Hey Fangs, what’s up?” She answered after the second ring.

“Did you notice anything off about Y/N lately?” I asked, getting right to the point.

“Uh, no? Why? What’s up?” She asked, worry clear in her voice.

“I came home and she was passed out in the bathroom with vomit in the toilet. She’s really fucking skinny Toni…” I said, feeling a tear involuntarily fall down my cheek.

“What? How skinny?” She asked.

“Like I can see her ribs starting to poke out.” I answered and she gasped.

“W-What? H-How?” She asked and I sighed.

“I don’t know, T. I didn’t notice anything different…” I said quietly.

“How? Have you guys not… ya know?” She asked and my eyes widened.

“We’ve both been busy, but every time she’s just wanted to ya know, please me…” I said and felt my stomach turn slightly. She’s been hiding this for so long…

“Shit Fangs, are you at the hospital? Want me and Pea to come by?” She asked and I shook my head.

“I just have my bike and I-I don’t know what the hell they’ll do to her. I’m scared to take her there. What if they say she’s dying, or they lock her up, or I don’t know…” I sighed.

“Fangs if she’s really bad you’ve gotta take her to the hospital, they’ll help her.” She said, gently.

“Toni I can’t, what if she never forgives me for that? Clearly, she’s been hiding this for a while I don’t want her to hate me…” I said, fully crying by now.

“Listen, Fangs, you wanna help her, right?” She asked with a sigh.

“Yes…” I whispered.

“Then you gotta take her. I’ll call Pea and we can use his truck, okay?” She asked and I shook my head again.

“Can’t I just wait till she wakes up? They’re gonna keep her there for who knows how long.” I said and she sighed.

“I don’t think you should wait. What if this isn’t the first time she’s passed out?” She asked and my eyes widened. I didn’t think about that.

“J-Just let me wait till she wakes up first. Let me talk to her.” I begged and she sighed.

“Fine, but you call me after, you got it?” She asked.

“I promise.” I said and she sighed again.

“I’m still calling Pea and letting him know what’s going on.” She said and I sighed.

“Fine, just keep him from barging in, I don’t wanna scare her.” I said and she agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up.

I sat there in silence as I just stared at Y/N. I couldn’t stop thinking about how awful I am for not noticing anything. She hid it really well, which hurt. I had stopped crying but didn’t bother wiping my face. I just held her hand and stared at her. That’s when she started shifting. She slowly opened her Y/E/C and looked around for a moment before they landed on my dark brown ones. Neither of us moved or made a sound, just stared at the other.

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled after a moment. She looked down and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Never. I mean never, do that again.” I choked out as my tears returned. Y/N looked up silently and reached up with her other hand to wipe away my tears.

“You shouldn’t cry over me, I’m not worth it…” She whispered as she continued to caress my cheek. I felt the anger return and pulled back from her.

“No Y/N! Don’t you ever think that! You’re more than worth it, you’re my perfect girl. I don’t understand why you even thought you needed to lose weight in the first place, but you’ve always been perfect! You’re beautiful, funny, caring, and amazing! I love you, I always have. I can’t stand seeing you do this to yourself when you don’t need to. I saw what was in the toilet, when was the last time you ate?” I asked and she had more tears falling down her gorgeous face.

“I-I don’t know. Yesterday at lunch? I don’t know. I-I…” She started crying harder. I pulled her in for a gentle hug and stroked her hair.

“How long have you been doing this babe?” I whispered.

“A-A ye-year…” She answered between sobs. My heart broke and I sighed. I held her for a bit longer and gently pulled her back once she calmed down a bit.

“Baby, you need to eat and actually keep it down. You need to get better, Y/N. Please.” I said and she shook her head.

“I-I can’t! Looking at all those people that you talk to, they’re so much prettier than me! They’re skinnier, hotter, cooler, everything! Those people at school made me realize that I’m never going to be like them. I’m never going to be good enough for you…” She said, sobbing into her hands. My eyes widened as I stared at her. Who the fuck said that to her? She’s always been perfect, my everything… I gently pulled her hands away and tried to catch her eyes, but she avoided me.

“Y/N, look at me, please?” I asked quietly. She looked up and she looked so broken.

“Y/N Y/L/N, I love you more than anything. I always have and I always will. No one in this damn world could ever compare to you, baby. You’ve always been my number one and I have never even thought of another person. Guy or girl. You don’t need to change yourself just because some jealous bitch said something to you. I will always love you no matter what.” I said and she sobbed.

“Do you mean it?” She asked in a broken whisper.

“Every word baby. I promise you that I love you with every piece of my heart. I just want you to get better right now. You passed out Y/N, do you know how scared I was?” I asked quietly.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” She cried and I pulled her into my chest.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby. You don’t have to be sorry okay? We’re gonna get you some help and get you better, okay?” I asked and she nodded.

“Now, I gotta call Toni and tell her you woke up before she and Pea come breaking down the door.” I said and her eyes widened.

“Y-You told Toni and Pea?” She asked with more tears falling.

“I called to see if Toni noticed anything with you, I was so worried Y/N.” I said, caressing her cheek and wiping the tears. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.

“Toni wanted me to take you to the hospital and I know I should have, but I just didn’t want to lose you.” I admitted and she looked up at me.

“I’m so sorry, Fangs…” She said and I shook my head.

“You don’t need to be sorry, baby.” I said and kissed her forehead.

“Now let me call Toni and maybe I can convince her to not take you to the hospital, but you have to eat a bit of the Pop’s I brought home, deal?” I asked and she nodded while taking a shaky breath.

“I’m not gonna make you eat all of it, but you need to eat at least a little okay? We’ll work on this slowly.” I said and she nodded.

“O-Okay…” She whispered. I smiled and kissed her head once more before I went to get the food. When I walked back in she was fiddling with her hands. She looked up and I saw her sniff the air subtly. Her stomach growled and I smiled slightly. I walked over and placed the food on her lap, but left the milkshake in the other room. It would be way too heavy for her right now, even if she did love them.

“I got your favorite, but I think we’re gonna skip the milkshake today and just stick with water, alright?” I asked and she nodded. Her shaky hands took out the burger and fries and gently laid them on the blanket.

“Alright, I’m gonna sit right here and call Toni and you’re gonna start eating, okay?” I asked and she nodded. I pulled out my phone and called Toni as I watched Y/N slowly start to eat the cold fries. I watched as she put the first one in her mouth and she moaned slightly. I smiled as she continued eating them.

“Fangs! Is she awake?” Toni answered.

“Yeah, she’s awake.” I answered and I heard her sigh.

“Perfect, I’m with Pea and Juggie right now and we have the truck so we’ll be over in a few and we can take her to the hospital.” She said as I heard movement from her side.

“I don’t think we’re gonna need to take her to the hospital.” I said as I watched her pick up the burger. She took a bite and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I chuckled and smiled at her.

“Fangs she passed out, she needs to go to the fucking hospital.” Toni said, slightly annoyed.

“I think we can deal with this ourselves, T.” I said and she groaned.

“Seriously? You agreed to take her to the hospital when she woke up.” She said and I sighed.

“Just come over and see, I promise we got this.” I said and she sighed.

“Fine, we’re already on our way.” She said and hung up. I hung up and saw Y/N was halfway done with the burger.

“Slow down babe.” I said with a small chuckle. She blushed and looked over at me.

“Sorry…” She mumbled and I smiled at her.

“Don’t be, I know you’re hungry, but like I said we gotta take it slow.” I said and she nodded.

A few minutes later, our front door was opening. We heard three sets of footsteps coming towards us and Y/N looked scared. I grabbed her hand and gently gave her a reassuring squeeze. The door opened and in walked Toni, Pea, and Jughead. They all looked at Y/N with wide eyes and Toni rushed over to her other side. She pulled her in for a hug, which Y/N returned.

“Are you crazy? Starving yourself or throwing shit up, whichever. How long has this been going on, huh?” Toni asked and Y/N looked down in shame.

“Toni, relax. We already talked about it and look she’s already eating.” I said and grabbed Y/N’s hand again.

“I’m sorry…” Y/N said quietly again.

“Babe I already told you, you don’t need to be sorry.” I said.

“No Fangs is right, sorry Y/N/N, I’m just worried.” Toni said, taking a seat on the bed next to her.

“We all are.” Jones said. She looked up at Pea and Jughead and they each smiled at her.

“Yeah, so who ass do I need to beat for starting this shit?” Pea asked and Toni rolled her eyes. Y/N laughed and I smiled at her.

“If I’m honest I don’t even remember who said something…” She said and blushed slightly.

“I just know it was about a year ago and that’s when I started looking at myself differently. I just hate how I look and constantly compare myself to everyone else and…” She trailed off.

“Wait, that’s when you started cutting, were you doing this too?” Toni asked and Y/N shook her head.

“No, I started after you guys helped with that…” She said with a guilty tone.

“Oh Y/N…” Toni said and pulled her in for another hug.

“I’m so-”

“Nope, don’t you dare apologize.” Toni said, cutting her off.

“Yeah, we’re sorry for not noticing anything.” Jones said and Y/N shook her head.

“I hid it, there was no way you guys could have known. I mean I was wearing clothes that were a bit too big for me so you guys wouldn’t see my weight change.” She said and we all looked at each other. That explains a bit.

“We’ll that’s fucking over, let’s go get you some more food.” Pea said and she shook her head.

“I’m kind of full.” She said and I placed the rest of the food on the nightstand.

“That’s okay, like I said, slow.” I said and she nodded with a small smile.

“Fangs is right, we gotta take this slow, but we’re all here for you and we’re gonna help every step of the way.” Toni said with a smile. Pea and Jones also nodded and Y/N teared up.

“You guys are the best and I’m really so-”

“Stop apologizing Y/N/N, or I’m gonna kick your ass.” Pea said and she laughed a real genuine happy laugh. We all smiled at her and I gently squeezed her hand. This might be a hard and long road ahead, but we would all support her every step. I think she finally realized that she’s amazing and if not we would all be here to remind her.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @camiconfessions-blog @thecaptainsgingersnap @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448 @mamacobie13 @fandom-princess-forevermore @liz-owl

#fanfic #prompt #riverdale #riverdale imagine #fangs fogarty #fangs fogarty imagine #fangs fogarty x reader #fangs fogarty x fem!reader #fangs x reader #fangs x fem!reader #toni topaz #sweet pea #jughead jones #bad things happen #bad things happen bingo #fainting

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ricflairdrip20 · 1 year ago

Text

Requested by: @the-tales-of-ren

“Could you also maybe do another one later on where he catches Angela being mean to the reader and he sticks up for her something?”

————————————————————————

David Sticks Up For You (David Wallace x Reader)

It has been a stressful week so far. Your mind was occupied by the memories of the tragedy you experienced at your university campus many years back and dealing with such incredible losses of your friends. Although you took a few days off and went back to work, your mind is still somewhere else. You were on autopilot as you do your usual routine, writing in numbers on your general ledger.

You weren’t dumb, in fact, you’re a really good accountant, unlike Kevin. You always tried your best to put in your efforts to carefully calculate because numbers don’t lie and one small mistake, everything is messed up. Which is why you were confused when Angela suddenly stormed to you with a disappointed look on your face.

“Y/N, you were supposed to write in 500, and you wrote in 5,000 on the general ledger. Now I have to make a second entry to correct it. What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, Angela, I didn’t mean to… I’ll try to focus more,” You stammered, even though you knew Angela isn’t very forgiving when it comes to accounting errors.

“Maybe I misjudged you. You’re not as diligent as I thought you were.” You felt a little hurt because you tried so hard, yet you knew better that even the best can sometimes screw up. And you wish you have the courage to stand up to the rightly wounded accountant.

As she continues berating you, you noticed a figure from your peripheral vision approaching you, and you recognized that to be David Wallace.

Although you knew David for about a few months since he was hired as a CFO of Dunder Mifflin, you can tell he’s a down to earth guy, even if you don’t see him that often since he works in New York, which is three hours away from Scranton, Pennsylvania. And you’re trying your best to deny it, but you can’t help but feel a little attraction towards the man. You excused it to be someone you’d look for in your significant others, someone who’s there for you during your hardships, especially intense one at that.

“Excuse me, but did I hear you say that Y/N isn’t good at her job?” David asked, his hands placed on his hips.

“She miscalculated the general ledger and now I had to redo the whole thing!” Angela exclaimed.

“That doesn’t excuse you from talking down on her. From what I’ve seen, she does an excellent job at keeping track of the financial position of this company. And yes, she will make mistakes without intention. We all do, because you never know what goes through the person’s mind at that moment.” The last sentence pulled your heartstrings because little does David know, that was your case.

Angela scoffed and walked back to her desk. David turned to you.

“I’m sorry about that. Are you okay?” He asked softly.

You gulped and nodded, not being able to produce words. An almost inaudible “thank you” is all you can do to get your message across.

David smiled warmly before digging into his jacket inner pocket and pulled out his business card with his personal number written on the back.

“Keep in touch and keep up the good work,” he said as he handed you the card. You gingerly accepted it and nodded, partly in disbelief and happiness that the handsome CFO cares enough about you to make sure you were straight… maybe leading into something more.

#the office #david wallace #david wallace x reader

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quinloki · 10 months ago

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Okay honestly you’re so valid for having Sabo thoughts bc tell me why today I had the thought of like

Ace is your ex hs boyfriend and y’all ended things on good terms you just weren’t that into eachother and made better friends so you’ve stayed friends casually and like

Something happens and you end up needing to call him and he picks you up with his hot brother Sabo (or Marco passed my mind too ngl) in the car and you’re like shit I can’t date my ex’s brother… but then situations ensue and >>

I wish I was better at putting my thoughts into words so I could enable you more, tbh 🫡

(The shiny ace made it so hard for me to take pics or wouldn’t focus!!!)

Also I just dug thru all my extra cards that I’m gonna pass along to my cousins and I don’t have any Sabo?? This is a travesty I must correct.

Listen I’m so glad you’re on the Marco/Sabo train cause let’s be real. Not many people are. And I’m glad I can come into your inbox and talk about them bc I have absolutely too many brainrots with them lately.

i can see it though.

Sabo ends up learning details about you from Ace, once he admits to Ace he's interested. You and Ace had a clean break, mutual, no real drama - there was a relief to it, honestly, you were both relieved the other was okay with stepping the romance into friendship without breaking any hearts.

You missing your bus was an unexpected windfall for Sabo, when he decides to tag along with Ace to get you home. The blonde's smitten, the fact that you and Ace get along so well is probably part of it. Observant and far more detail oriented than Ace or Luffy, Sabo picks up on the fact that you're at least physically attracted to him.

He's sure he knows how the chat will go with Ace, but he asks anyway. Ace is for it - Sabo's a good dude, and Ace won't have to worry about you. Not that he can yay or nay who you do date, but as his friend he wants you safe and happy.

This got long, more under the cut!

With Sabo there's no chance you'll be calling him crying cause some jerk wad beat you up (or tried to, you've got a solid hook, much to Ace's dismay).

Sabo doesn't hold back - he's not getting down on one knee in public or anything, but he does break the ice with a single flower, his number written inside the paper bow wrapped around the stem. Putting you at ease and letting you know he's already talked to Ace about it, as long as your comfortable with it, he'd like to see where things go.

He's such a perfect gentleman it almost makes your head spin. Pulls out your chair, opens doors, helps you in and out of your coat, offers his hand when you're stepping down or up from something. Even with every fluid action, he's still right up against you in the club.

You can feel every taut muscle just beneath his clothes as you move with the music. Actions full of silk are coming from fingers that could shatter stone.

You're not going into things completely blank on him either. Ace talked about his brothers a LOT. You haven't met Luffy yet, he's finishing school abroad, sometimes his grandfather insisted on, but you feel like you already know him.

You don't know all of Sabo's secrets, but you know there's a beast beneath the tailored clothes and well-kept hats. Not that that's a deterrent in the slightest, as his club styled dancing has ballroom dancing steps woven into it, you can't help but wonder what weaves its way through his moves in other settings.

There's no rush - you enjoy one another's company on many levels and most of your dates end with a sweet kiss that grows deeper and deeper as time goes on.

When you invite him inside, you can hear the leather of his gloves creak as his fingers flex. He accepts, letting you lead the pace and vibe of the night. There's no strain in his voice, no urgent need in his actions, even though your heart's about to beat out of your chest, your own nerves making you a mess.

The smile that slips across his lips when you ask him to be a gentleman and help you out of your clothes is one you hadn't seen before, but most certainly would again.

#quin answers #kazieai #sabo the revolutionary #portgas d ace #x reader #reader insert

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hughiecampbelle · 2 years ago

Text

Parting Pt. 2 (Roy!Sibling x Kendall Roy)

Character/s: Kendall, Connor, fake husband, fake baby lol

Word Count: 2,065

Requested: would you be able to write a part 2 to parting? its so so good and would love to see a happy ending! - anon

Requested: wow. that last roy!reader fic killed me. are we getting a part 2? if not, what happened to the reader in your interpretation? - anon

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N: Oh my loves!!! Thank youuuu so so much!!! I wasn't planning on part two BUT y'all inspired me!!! I love protective Kendall so much it's not even funny!! He's so babygirl lol! I hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Parting Pt. 1 (Roy!Sibling x Kendall Roy)

Succession Masterlist

You found out your father died through tv. Your sister, your brothers behind her, confirming this. When was the last time you saw Shivy cry? You drop the sippy cup in your hand, rising from the couch, your heart suddenly in your throat. When he found you, hours later, you’d frozen the picture on their faces, on the headline, the dark room illuminated by red and blue: Logan Roy, conservative media mogul who shaped contemporary politics, dead at 84. You hadn’t seen him since that night, months ago. You hadn’t spoken to him much, but he seemed alright, he seemed okay. What went so wrong? He handed you your phone. Over a dozen missed calls, texts, emails from everyone. They all broke the news in their own ways. Connor spoke so softly you could barely hear him, telling you they did everything they could, they tried everything. Roman, in all his denial, asks how you’re doing, unable to say his name. Shiv apologizes over and over again. She knows you weren’t able to talk to him, his baby. Only Kendall knows what truly bothers you, only he knows why no one could get ahold of you. His message, his calls, all of them short, shocked, to the point. I’m sorry he wouldn’t let you go. He took your phone to work with him, now for a while. If there was an emergency, if something happened to Liam, he had cameras. He would see, he would get help, all the way from the office. Stunned, fresh out of tears, you clutch the device in your palm. Liam is crying now, pulling at your pant leg, begging for you, but you can’t hear him. Your father was dead and you weren’t there, they couldn’t reach you. The very brothers and sister that raised you, that loved you, had no way of getting to you. You had to find out that your father was gone like the rest of the world. The messages, the calls, they’re hours old. For hours he knew what had happened and chose to ignore it. You can’t bring yourself to respond. You don’t know what to say. You’re sorry, you’re the most sorry you’ve ever been: for not being there, for not knowing, for getting trapped in this marriage, this life. Wordlessly, you hand your phone back to him, picking up your son and shutting yourself into his room. You hope for eternity.

He was so angry when he found the card. He smashed glasses, he put his fist through a wall, yelling and screaming. He was exploding and you would be his only casualty. You thank God every day you were nowhere near Liam, that he was tucked away in his bed, in his room, where he could not touch him. He grabbed you so hard he left bruises. That’s when things got worse. That’s when he made new rules. That’s when you found it hard to get out of bed. He made good on his threats. He took your phone every day, he had cameras installed, he made sure there was security outside your door so that he knew if you were leaving, who was coming. He accused you of cheating without any evidence, as if you had the opportunity to speak to anyone else. He was so paranoid, so angry. Kendall called, he left emails, he even stopped by once, but you wouldn’t let him up. You knew he’d see, you knew it would only make things worse. He made excuses for you, he went to events and parties without you. You weren’t sure they even noticed after a while. My absence would not be missed, you thought. He took Liam despite your best efforts, to family dinner and gatherings. You got sweet texts, from Connor who always made a point to text that he missed you, from Shiv who wished you were there, even Rome would send the occasional you’re missing out text. Only Kendall knew what was wrong. He must’ve figured out he had your phone, that he read his messages before you got the chance. Once, and only once, he’d forgotten to delete the thread. Kendall remained calm in his threats, but they were there, lighting up your expression. You’d locked yourself in the master bedroom, the last place with a lock, and scrolled through. Lots of fuck you’s. A few bastards and pricks. Then paragraph after paragraph of legal warnings. That he would get you out of there, that you would get full custody of Liam, that he would never see you and him ever again. It made you feel so seen, so heard, so loved you nearly cried. The next day it was all gone, but it was too late. You knew your brother was helping you. He hadn’t given up on you just yet.

You leave the babysitter with strict instructions. Whatever he needed to say, whatever vague warning he needed to give, he gave. Now it was your turn. If you could, if you could, he would never leave your side. But he shouldn’t be there today. You felt like you shouldn’t, practically a stranger to your family. Did they even want to see you? Would they be upset? Since that night, he hadn’t said anything about it. Not I’m sorry about your father, not even an apology for not letting you know sooner. You heard him on the phone with Tom, Hugo, Frank and Karl. What were the next best steps? When you’d been invited to Norway, Kendall, hoping he could get you alone, he went to your place. No one told him no. You’d guessed Kendall let it slide. He was, after all, still an employee of Waystar. Your father made sure your husband was well off in the company despite not deserving it, not earning it. You guessed he let it go because he knew, whatever they said or did, it would come back to you. It was the best few days you’d had in a long time. He took your phone with him, but that didn’t matter. You were free of him. You still slept in Liam’s room, but you didn’t have this crushing sense of dread every time the clock struck seven. You didn’t have to brace yourself for what kind of mood he’d be in when he got home from work. You wouldn’t have to listen to him bad-mouthing your family, the only people who ever gave a damn about him. You stayed up watching movies of your childhood, sharing them with your son, not caring how loud it played. In the morning you made pancakes from scratch, not afraid of the mess he would later inspect. You knew what your siblings were saying, what kind of questions they were asking, but you didn’t care. For the first time in a long time you were free from him. You both were.

In the car he holds your hand. His tone is light and bright, talking about the Gojo deal, about Matsson, about how much he likes him, as if you weren’t on your way to a funeral. You nod along, staring out the window. It’s been some time since you left the apartment. The sky was gray. It was colder than you thought. It made you sad, regretful. Your life was wasting away to nothing because of him. Because of you. You press your forehead against the glass, your hand still in his. He rambles on and on about his success, about the joke that made Matsson laugh, about your family. They were all nice, well except Kendall. Can you believe it? My father-in-law dies and he has nothing to say to me? I was like a son to him. You can’t decide: if you had something sharp would you use it on yourself or on him? Anything to end this conversation. The ride feels excruciating. His skin burns yours, makes you feel like there are bugs underneath. You want to jerk away. You want to tell him to fuck off. But you can’t jeopardize today. If you mess up, if you say or do anything he doesn’t like, you will never see your family again. He will turn the car around. You won’t get to see your father one last time. You have to let him touch you, talk to you, kiss you, whatever gets you to that church. It’s a mistake, but you can’t help yourself. As soon as the car pulls up, you jump out, spotting Connor and Willa. You’re in your brother's arms before you know what’s going on, shaking and crying, unable to control yourself. He is right behind you. Hey, hey it’ll be okay kiddo. It’ll be okay. Pops is glad you’re here. You’re not crying over that, though. You never thought you’d see him again. He holds you for as long as you need, until you’ve calmed down. Willa talks to your husband, though she seems off. Uncomfortable. Eventually he goes in, not wanting to waste another moment. There are very important people that need to talk to me. I’ll find you after. You just nod. You let Connor and Willa go too, grateful for her, for the both of them. She gives you a sad, knowing look before following your brother.

You know smoking can kill you. Immediately you drop it, stubbing it out, fighting back the urge to run to him. A nasty habit you picked up again. If he saw you, you’d pay for it. You‘re not one to talk, you laugh, your eyes filling up with tears. Kendall doesn’t look good. He wouldn’t not today, but he’s got something on his mind. You give him a quick hug before he pulls back, looking around before moving. He leads you from the church doors, down the steps, casual in his movements. You check behind you, making sure he can’t see you, he hasn’t followed you, but he’s made sure your husband is far too busy with Shiv and Matsson. You’re not leaving, that would create a scene. So what were you doing? Past other mourners, past the cars pulling up, past the faces you fail to recognize, he stops at the edge of the street. He looks like he can’t find the right words. The silence is killing you. Ken, we don’t have a lot of time. At this moment you look so scared, so small. Your eyes are red from crying and there’s a shake in your voice that leaves him thinking violent thoughts. Rava is taking the kids upstate, to see her parents. Oh. I’m sorry Ken- No, y/n. Rava is taking the kids, all of them. Mine, yours. What? You looked behind him, expecting that angry face, but there was just a small crowd dressed in black, talking among one another. H,he gave the babysitter clear instructions. She would never, she would- She did. Rava showed up with some backup. He’s safe. It takes everything in you not to break down. Ken smiles as he speaks, coming to life before you. You’re not going home with him, you’re never going back there again, okay? I have security waiting and I have a lawyer too who’s going to serve him all at the burial. They’ll escort him off the premises. How did he do this? It’s too good to be true. Kendall, it’s sweet of you, but I can’t. You don’t know what he’ll do when he finds out. He has cameras, he'll know. I can’t. You start to shake, on the verge of hysteria. He puts his hands on your shoulders, making you look at him. Not behind him, not on the street, only at him. I fucked up last time, y/n. I let you go when I shouldn’t have. And then I didn’t see you for months. I fucked up once, I won’t do it again. He can’t hurt you anymore. He’s done. The words ring in your ears: he can’t hurt you anymore, he can’t hurt you anymore, he can’t hurt you anymore. He let you go last time and that was his fault. He thought the worst, he feared the worst, every time he saw your empty seat. He had to pass that motherfucker like they were friends, like he wasn’t holding you hostage. Not anymore. He’d pay for what he’s done, Kendall would make sure of it.

#requested #writing #kendall roy #kendall roy imagine #kendall roy x reader #succession #succession imagine #succession x reader #succession fic #kendall roy fic

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chaoticgeminate · 2 years ago

Text

A Future with You

Summary: Sometimes things happen that change everything, and the kind actions of a stranger help you at a low point in your life. Not only do you get to return that kindness but you also wind up happier than you've ever been.

Rating: M (Non/Semi-explicit smut content)

Pairing: Marcus Pike x gn!Reader (If you notice any descriptors please let me know kindly and I'll fix them)

Notes: This work is a part of the @pedrostories Secret Santa event and is a gift, I tried very hard not to imply any holiday the reader celebrates but included a holiday tradition from my giftee which is why there is a Christmas film on the title card. That being said:

Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Yule, Saturnalia Salutations to my Secret Santa giftee @browneyes-issac! I really hope you enjoy my gift, Lotus, this was a lot of fun to write ❤

A Future with You (6.7k)

“I’m sorry.”

Echoing, repeating, inside your head like a specter that wouldn’t leave you alone; the two words held none of the emotions they should have, the tone was blank and empty and had been delivered that way. Even now you could still see his stupid face looking anything but sorry, those green eyes lacking any empathy for what he’d done to you, and it hurt worse as all the ugly little thoughts you’d kept at bay were buzzing like a swarm of pests surrounding you.

You aren’t good looking enough, why would he choose Kaleigh otherwise?

You aren’t smart enough, you would have gotten that promotion sooner if you were, right?

You spend too much time working rather than being a good partner, he wouldn’t have to find affection somewhere else if you tried harder would he?

Each thought cut deeper and deeper, the aching in your chest bleeding out and making you feel cold, your legs pulled close to your chest and your face buried in your knees to hide the tears spilling over your cheeks. Around you the airport was bustling and loud but you couldn’t hear it, the endless number of conversations and bubbly pop music were muted by the grief and the voices of your own inner demons screaming at you.

Someone touched you, the hand on your elbow gentle, but you hadn’t been ready for it; head snapping up to look, worried you’d missed your flight or something. Instead, there were gentle brown eyes, a soft smile fading into a look of concern, and the stranger pulled his hand back; his lips moved but you still couldn’t hear him over the roaring of your inner demons, now mocking you for bringing a stranger into your pity party.

He tried again and this time you paid attention, you forced yourself to focus on the here and now, you pushed those inner demons back knowing it would just make the intrusive thoughts worse later.

“Are you on the DCA flight? I can make sure you don’t miss it.”

“What?”

Good going, dummy, way to sound like a moron in front of this guy.

“If you- if you need to stay like that, I can make sure you don’t miss the boarding call. I don’t expect you to open up to a complete stranger, but I don’t want you to miss your flight because of the hurt.” Part of you, the pride that you still had left, bristled at how quickly he’s seen you and figured you out; wanting to deny the assist on principle that you were just fine without someone jumping in. That you didn’t need a fucking knight in shining armor or some shit, no matter how distraught you seemed to be.

He's just being kind.

This stranger was giving you more courtesy that your ex had in, well, probably a long time. He was giving you the chance to hurt without the worry that it would cause problems getting home, and you needed that more than you knew.

“Please?” Your voice was rough from the screaming fit just hours before, when Ryan had the audacity to ask you to give him half of your own savings -thank the fucking powers that be you had not combined finances yet- so he could buy an engagement ring for Kaleigh. His rushed proposal to you had been done with a cheap ring from a little crane game he’d won on your anniversary trip, it was cute and you’d been happy with it because it’d been a sweet proposal and just fit the two of you so well; now though it stung, thinking about the fact that he wanted to give Kaleigh the hallmark proposal and happy family.

A nod was all you needed to return to burying your face in your knees, to muffle your soft wheezy sobs in the plush fabric of your scarf -it was going to be cold in DC and you weren’t going to be the idiot unprepared for the weather- and just letting the emotions go. But this stranger didn’t just support you by promising the bare minimal help, he went and got a fresh bottle of water for you when you’d finished yours and even went and got you a small snack from one of the nearby vending machines when you’d told him you hadn’t eaten since at least two days before.

This man had put more care and attention into you in the span of two hours than Ryan had in two years.

Fuck you’re pathetic if a stranger is better to you than your ex was.

Marcus Pike, as he introduced himself eventually, was a genuinely good man and you had to admit you were kind of jealous of this Teresa person that was apparently flying out to DC in a week to follow him. He’d gotten a text from her that she was working on a case or something, that she’d call in an hour or two if she could, and that led to him telling you about her. But the jealousy you thought you’d feel that he was getting everything he wanted and you weren’t just… wasn’t there. If anyone deserved a happy marriage it was this good-hearted, sweet, man beside you who saw a stranger in pain and stepped up.

“So, uh, are you from DC or the surrounding area?” He was trying to make conversation no doubt, you hummed as you chewed on the bite of the meal you’d ended up buying now that your appetite was returning, and a part of you was at war with giving him such personal information when you’d only just met him today. But you didn’t have some of the same bad vibes that you usually got with creeps or pushy men; you had a feeling if you refused to answer he’d actually respect that.

“Surrounding area, though my promotion does come with a change of office to DC. I’m in Baltimore currently but I’ll be looking for a place in DC as soon as I get back since it’s an hour commute not counting the traffic. The week I got off was supposed to be for me to begin the process of finding residency closer to work, I had use-or-lose time that would’ve been lost as soon as I started at the new role so it just made sense to take it when I got the affirmative that I’d be promoted.” Marcus was nodding in understanding at your logic, you hadn’t expected to actually get approved for any houses or places but just being able to take your time touring the options had been the idea.

Marcus grabbed his phone and handed it to you after opening a browser window, the condo was a nice place and the cost was actually pretty decent for the size.

“I was initially looking here, since they’re one-bedroom places, but with Teresa coming along I decided to spring for a two-bedroom so we could have an office room.” You sent yourself the share link, already liking that it had designated parking and security cameras around the building, but what sold it was the fact that the interior wasn’t the modern aesthetic with sleek square edged and monochrome colors. The appliances were a lovely shade of royal blue, the furniture that came with the place was vintage and fun looking, and if that was Marcus’ taste it was just one more way he was nothing like any man you’d met.

“Thank you, I’ll check this place out.” You had a few more days left of time at least, since handling things with your ex had been done quickly once you knew what was actually going on, and since he was planning on staying here in Austin you’d even decided to take the L and mail his things back to him so he didn’t have to fly back and you could avoid him accusing you of purposefully withholding his belongings. That meant time to wander around DC and get an idea of where you might want to live, though this place was looking pretty alright.

For the first time in a while you didn’t even feel scared that a stranger would know where you potentially lived, the warning bells were absent and you didn’t know if that was because Marcus was just that good or because he was good at hiding it, and you decided to let yourself believe in him being a good person.

There were so many other things you had to stress about and this was something you didn’t want to add to the list.

As the boarding call started, after you and Marcus spent time talking about favorite books and films, he let you on ahead of him and waved from his seat near the front of the cabin as you moved toward the back. The curse of booking a late ticket, of course, and after setting your phone to airplane mode you decided to take the nap you knew you needed.

Marcus bid you farewell at the exit terminal in DCA while he was getting his phone turned back on, since you didn’t have to go through baggage claim there was no added wait, and you were off and in a cab toward the hotel you’d booked last minute in the city so that you could just stay and explore living spaces before heading back to your place in Baltimore.

The condo was finally furnished, it looked like your space, and all of the boxes of Ryan’s stuff had long since been shipped off and confirmed to arrive at Austin. Breaking the lease on your old place had been costly -his parents chose to cover the cost after the truth came out- but you were free, free of someone who saw you as a piggy bank and free to move on with your career and live the life you wanted to live. You wiped the sweat off your brow and decided to head down the road to the nearby diner, a bite to eat that you didn’t have to cook sounded great, and you had a few hours before your best friends would be here to help put your knickknacks and art up.

It had been months since you got back, months since you’d started at work in your new position, and even if finding the time to hunt for a place in DC was limited to weekends and unexpected breaks in your work weeks you’d managed to finally tour a bunch of apartments and condos in the area. In the end you’d settled on the place Marcus had shown you after getting the in-person tour.

Now as you faced the brisk fall weather your mood was much higher, you were living a fair distance from work that public transport and even just walking would be fine too, and now you were going to get some good classic food. Warm and soft lighting made you relax as you entered the eatery, it was a seat yourself joint and you were ready to take a seat at the bar when you spotted a familiar face in one of the booths, waving when he looked up from his phone screen; Marcus’ smile was blunted since your first meeting and you glanced at the bar a moment and walked over to greet him instead.

“Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here. Want company?” Not wanting to assume anything you couldn’t help but grin when his smile did shift to something warmer and more welcoming.

“Only if you want to.” You slid into the seat with a smile after he gave you the okay. “How have you been, since getting back to Baltimore?”

“Better, it’s still- there’s still plenty of hurt but I’m in a better place all around; especially now that I know the whole truth. I just finally finished unpacking and organizing my place here in DC, so I figured I’d celebrate. How about you? How’s the East Coast treating you?” Since he was alone and lacking a band on his left ring finger you avoided the topic of the woman he’d said was coming out here, he’d been so excited about his engagement and with how sweet he was you had expected his fiancée to be just as enthusiastic.

Marcus’ shoulders dropped a little and you didn’t even think before reaching out to take the hand he had on the table, offering a sympathy-filled smile, and his eyes dropped from your face to your connected hands before he let that smile fall away.

“East Coast as a whole is okay, but Teresa ended up breaking the engagement to be with the guy that she was in love with before me. I knew it wasn’t- I knew that as long as she was around Jane that she would choose him; we’d only been together a few months before I proposed, I didn’t want to lose my chance with her just by being transferred so I’d called in a few favors to get her a position here and hoped that being away from the guy that wasn’t returning her feelings would let her move on. With me.”

You knew he’d moved fast; he’d told you that, but you had seen shorter dating periods turn into long and happy marriages before. What upset you was that Marcus had put his heart, his hope, into someone that just wasn’t in a place to be that person for him and wasn’t willing to just tell him that.

“You saw what the two of you could be and wanted to try for that, Marcus, and that’s perfectly okay. You gave Teresa every chance to tell you ‘no’ and she didn’t take it for whatever reason, if she wasn’t able to commit to you entirely then she shouldn’t have accepted your proposal. If she wasn’t able to communicate with you, to try to move on from the other guy, then she should have said something. It takes two people to make a relationship work and it sounds to me like she wasn’t trying as hard as you were.”

When you looked up from your hands it was to a man with shiny eyes and tears threatening to fall, a man who had been hurt and needed someone who could at least understand the hurt, and you didn’t say anything when he used a napkin to dab his eyes gently. If anyone understood what he was feeling right now it was you, after all, given that the situations weren’t the same but there were some strong parallels. Him allowing himself to cry? To feel? You liked that about him, a lot.

“When Ryan proposed it was a rushed thing too, it was on our anniversary and he won a little plastic ring out of a crane game instead of the little charm bracelet he’d been trying for. He looked at it, looked at me, and then got down and proposed right there; almost made me think he meant to try for it for that reason and since our relationship had always been easy and never focused on the materialistic things, I loved it and it was sort of on brand. But he pulled away, after that, wasn’t involved in any of the planning unless I specifically asked for his opinion. I thought it was cold feet, or that he was just nervous because he didn’t know if his parents were able to make it to the wedding on the day we chose, but it turns out his childhood friend Kaleigh was newly single and he’d always loved her.”

Saying the story out loud made the anger lessen, now that you could see the signs clearer, even if the hurt was still there. How Ryan had always talked about Kaleigh’s clothes style, compared your hairstyles on special occasions to hers, and just being very attentive to her social media to the point that you knew more about Kaleigh than his own sister before you’d ended up opening a group chat with Hannah. A part of you also felt like you’d dodged a bullet, learning before you were married, because it meant that not only had it festered enough to do more hurt later but you had a lot more to lose in a divorce situation compared to Ryan.

His grip tightened, making you look up, and Marcus’ expression was one of understanding. Even without saying the words he knew that you were offering him support, that you knew his pain and would be the person he could open up to about it, and if it weren’t for your meals being delivered you were sure the two of you would have been able to just sit in comfortable silence.

“Ah, pancakes guy? Breakfast for dinner is something I haven’t done in a while.” You took a bite of your meal and Marcus shrugged, putting a good bit of syrup -the authentic maple syrup not the gloopy pancake syrup- onto the hubcap sized pancake along with a large dollop of butter. Your talk lightened to things in the area to do for fun, things in Baltimore to do for fun, hobbies you had currently and things you wanted to try and get into.

Marcus was genuinely a good person and creative as hell, watching him sketch you on a napkin in only a few minutes had left your face warming at the detail he managed to get into the little image. Only after you’d gone through a few refills, talked until you were sure your voice was going to be shot, and spent nearly an hour more than you planned there with him did the two of you decide to leave. Marcus paid for your meal -his insistence- and followed you back to yours where you brewed some coffee for him and let him lean in the doorway of your kitchen as the two of you talked about movies that you enjoyed.

By the time you both sat down on your couch, on opposite sides with you pulling your legs close, a small part of you was loath to let him leave. Marcus had proven before that he was attentive and kind with a big heart and knowing he was going to therapy -he’d glossed over it but you didn’t mind since he trusted you enough to even mention it in the first place- all it proved was that he wanted to heal and be better. You liked him, and even though your heart hurt, you were terrified of the idea of losing him because you wanted to take more time for yourself, but you didn’t want to push him into anything by rushing since he was going through the same heartbreak you were.

“So, uh, you never said what you did for work. What brought you from Texas to DC? Politician?” Dropping the thoughts before they could ruin your night, choosing to needle him just a little, you watched the way Marcus’ nose wrinkled instantly. You knew he wasn’t but you were sure he’d be a good one, the kind of guy to push for what was right without forcing his lifestyle on others, and the idea of him putting any of those crusty old raisins in office in their place was a fun one.

“Nah, I’m not old enough or conservative enough to be a Texan politician. FBI actually, art crimes. I’m on the team of people that investigate when museums get robbed of art work or statues, sometimes we end up tracking things internationally depending on the thief. We also have to inspect and identify if things that pop up are authentic or if they’re fakes.” His explanation was delivered in an even voice and he showed you his badge while he was at it, your throat tightened and you felt the gooseflesh on your arms as the image of him apprehending a thief made your heart beat a little faster.

As if he couldn’t be more attractive, he had to be an FBI agent too?!

“That’s really incredible, I can’t imagine it was easy either. Did you have to get a degree in classic art before going to whatever FBI training is?”

Marcus laughed softly.

“I went to Quantico first, actually, my father was always set that as his firstborn son I’d be police or military or some role with authority. He could handle the FBI but it wasn’t until I was out of Quantico serving as a low-level agent that I pursued my Art Degree and transferred to Art Crimes as my hands-on credit hours. He still hasn’t forgiven me.”

“His loss, that is an amazing career to pursue Marcus.” You didn’t miss the way his smile brightened or how he hung off every word as you told him about your own career, how you’d not only gotten your promotion but quickly earned a pay raise on top of the raise that came with the new position, and you honestly couldn’t be happier now that you’d escaped “Hallmark Rom-Com” territory with your love life. After being able to focus solely on your career you’d managed to get into a much better place for yourself financially, which if you were being honest, helped bring you to a better place emotionally too.

Marcus stayed until he absolutely couldn’t and even then you made plans to meet up again on the weekend since he knew of a place that did drive-in movies, old black and whites and you hated that when you closed the door your heart was skipping and you couldn’t stop the way you did a corny little victory dance. It wasn’t a date, he hadn’t explicitly said it, but it was a start.

It was a date, the first of many, and Marcus was a breath of fresh air in the best way. He was kind, supportive, understanding, and an attentive lover. The whole ass package and somehow fate had put him in your path, not that you were complaining in any way, and this year was your first holiday together. You had plenty of fall-time dates last year trading apple cider and pumpkin kisses, snuggling up in the library together to just read or going to snuggle in his car at the drive-in theater, and there had been countless times you’d stumbled into the door of one of your houses where clothing ended up on the floor and sometimes you didn’t even make it to a bed.

You didn’t regret it, him, at all; a number of people tried to slow you down, since it hadn’t been so long after your break-up with Ryan before you and Marcus began dating, but their tunes changed when they actually met him and saw you two with one another. The main reason you hadn’t spent the holiday together as a couple yet was that Marcus had plans already with his family out of the country last year and you weren’t quite willing to intrude on that, even though you were sure about him, you didn’t want to crash a family vacation.

This year was yours, he’d promised, but that wasn’t looking like it would happen. Part of you couldn’t help but sigh as you looked at the calendar again, Marcus had to go to Austin for an undercover op and couldn’t even call you, he only had an approximation for when he’d be able to either call or come home. Since he was a Christmas guy you had used your key to his place and decorated his condo for the holiday for him, even getting out his fake tree and doing the entire set up, sneaking a few things of your own traditions around the main room before deciding it was done.

But all the tinsel and candles -LED since you weren’t exactly staying here to watch them- and décor couldn’t erase how it was lacking one Marcus Pike to fill the space with his sunny smile and warm affection. Even if you couldn’t celebrate the whole season with him, at the very least Christmas was enough for you if he could make it home, and as the days were crossed off your calendar it was looking less and less likely. Your own condo was significantly sparse on décor, trying to lighten your mood by making Marcus’ place look like a Christmas dream hadn’t really worked out the way you planned and his continued absence stole your spirit.

A chime from your phone made you huff softly and answer, if only to disrupt the cheerful ringtone, you knew it wasn’t Marcus since he had a custom ringtone set.

“Hey sharpshooter.”

Ryan’s parents had given you the title when you’d beat his entire family at the little shooting game at their town faire on your first visit, it was bittersweet hearing it again.

“Hi Drew, happy holidays.”

“Happy holidays, kid, just wanted to let you know that Nadine and I are proud as hell of you and that we miss you. I know it’s probably weird, your ex-fiancé’s parents calling to wish you happy holidays but you were family to us.”

“I don’t blame you or Nadine for what happened, but thank you for calling. Tell her I said hello and happy holidays, Drew.”

“Will do, sharpshooter, we wanted to pack up and send you some honey from the bee farm if you’re interested as a gift.”

“That would be a wonderful present, thank you.”

Even if you didn’t use it you could always re-gift it and pass business along.

“Good, you still have that drop box?”

“Yep! That’s perfect, Drew.”

“Wasn’t going to ask for your new address, figured in the New Year you’d want to move on for good.”

“I appreciate that, more than you know, but I’m glad I got to say a proper goodbye this time.”

“Me too, kid. Don’t settle for anyone that doesn’t respect you, you deserve the world.”

“I haven’t, Drew.”

“Even better.”

You knew when a conversation with Drew was over, when the sentences turned to one or two words, and despite this being one of the shortest conversations you had with the man you appreciated it all the same because now you could move on knowing that everyone from that point in your life was okay. You honestly felt lighter and almost jumped when you heard your door opening, knowing you’d locked it behind you, and your eyes widened when Marcus rounded the corner of the entry with a large grin on his face.

“Marcus!”

Your wail of his name drowned out the rapid tattoo of your footsteps as you hurried to hug him, to prove that he was really here, and he caught you in a tight hold and just held you close. His cologne was different, the facial hair was different, and the lingering scent of dry Texas air was different, and yet the feel of his arms around you and the warmth he seemed to just give off constantly was the same.

“I missed you so much, I’m so sorry I couldn’t call or contact you-“

“Don’t apologize, I know it was for your job, you were safer that way and it was required. You’re home, that’s what matters.”

“God, I love you, I love you so much, I booked the first flight home I could and spent extra hours in the office just to make sure I could come back and stay here.”

Marcus didn’t argue at all when you dragged him through your apartment, mouth practically fused to yours as you worked to get him out of his clothes and into the shower, your own clothes joining his on the floor as you joined him under the stream of hot water. He proved how much he missed you, whispering praise and love into your wet skin, the slick glide of your bodies and heavy breathing laced with promises and traded affections between each throaty cry of his name were things you would remember for the rest of your life. He was insatiable for you, just as you were for him, and the shower round turned to soaking your sheets after stumbling out of the shower and away from your poor attempt at getting him clean.

He was all lips and tongue and hands, no inch of you was left untouched or unloved, and Marcus went as far as holding the back of your neck as he filled you just so he could make sure he could watch your face as he made you fall apart over and over again. His kisses were deep and intense, encompassing you entirely even as his hips rocked so slow and deep against yours, it was toe-curling and spine arching and yet you couldn’t get enough.

When you both were spent, wanting to just make out and talk and cuddle, Marcus migrated you to the couch after getting you both into comfier clothes where he nestled into the corner of your L shaped sofa and let you lay on him with his legs on either side of you, turning on some low background noise in the form of classic Christmas movies, and you couldn’t begin to care as Rudolph and Hermey met Yukon Cornelius since Marcus was here with you at last.

“I need to go decorate my condo; did you want to come help? You could just stay at mine until the holidays are over?”

A slow smile spread across your face when you realized that he hadn’t been home yet, he’d come to see you first, and you nodded before getting up to pack a bag to bring with you. Marcus helped of course, you even let him choose some of the casual stuff to pack, and other than stopping for a simple take-out dinner the ride was filled with him telling you about the sting operation. He’d posed as an art teacher to expose someone on the staff from not only stealing student’s work but for having some of the better talents recreate pieces that had gone missing and passing them off as legitimate.

You couldn’t be happier that he had pretty thick curtains so you couldn’t see the glow of the battery powered candles through them, asking him about his method of befriending the perpetrator to distract him as you let him handle the luggage so you could open the door, and Marcus’ face went slack when he stepped into the condo to see it fully decorated already.

“I- you- you decorated my condo?”

“Wanted you to come home to one less thing to do, it was a good way to help fight how much I missed you for a little while.”

Marcus’ slack expression warmed before he was tugging you onto the plush carpet, the net of Christmas lights you’d attached to his ceiling using command hooks twinkled like stars as Marcus kissed you deeply under them, and you couldn’t resist flipping him onto his back so he was looking up at the lights while you tugged off your hastily donned clothes again. Your bodies were dewy with sweat and the lights were reflecting off his skin and twinkling in his eyes, his lips dropped open as you held him in place so that you could give him nothing but pleasure, and Marcus’ hands gripped your hips to help move you as he watched you.

Even with his feet planted he let you lead, let you control the pace, and by the time you were shuddering and tensed up as you crested that high Marcus was seeking his own completion and guiding you with his hands until he was spent and shaking under you. He pulled you down and just laid with you under the Christmas lights that you’d put up, the warm condo -thank you automatic thermostats- was a little chilly but not enough to make you feel the need to get up just yet.

“I plan to do a lot more to you under these lights.” Marcus’ eyes were dark with mischief and desire as he made that promise and you were more than eager to let him see it through.

Waking up with Marcus’ warm body pressed close to yours kept you drowsy and comfortable, eyes heavy still even as you glanced at the clock, and while you didn’t have to get up early today there was definitely a motive involved doing so. For the past week or so Marcus had been sneaking out of bed before you to make you breakfast.

‘I like taking care of you, besides you’ll agree to move in sooner if the promise of breakfast and as many orgasms you want is on the table right?’

He was a caretaker, a giver, you knew that about him but so were you and he was starting to make you feel like you weren’t giving him enough. It was a conversation to have, sure, but that would come later. He barely stirred when you slipped out of bed, didn’t make a peep when you tugged on one of his shirts and a pair of underwear, and his kitchen was warm and quiet as you raided the fridge to start cooking right away.

He hadn’t seen you smuggle his gifts home, since you both had still worked up until the holiday, and the wrapped presents were carefully tucked under the tree as the coffee pot percolated and the pan you needed warmed up. Hiding them from him had been embarrassingly easy, for a man that was an FBI agent he seemed to have forgotten that his coffee table had hidden storage because you’d even set a little bit of a trap so you would know if he got into his gifts.

Breakfast was nearly complete when you heard the sleepy call of your name from the bedroom.

“I’m in the kitchen, Marcus.”

You’d thrown on an elf hat for some Christmas humor, hearing your boyfriend hum appreciatively as he walked into the kitchen, and he grabbed your hips as he came up behind you.

“Did Santa leave me one of his helpers for Christmas?”

A small chuckle escaped you as you nodded, watching him pour himself a mug of coffee, and his eyes drifted to the tree over the breakfast bar countertop. You felt the weight of his stare at the boxes in plain sight and resisted the urge to laugh, just barely, and while he didn’t say anything he did pinch your butt and set the table for breakfast.

Only after you sat down did you notice that he had added boxes to the stack and you rolled your eyes at the smug look on his face.

“What time are you going to call your parents?”

“Well, they’re home in Austin since I’m here and Nina is with her girlfriend’s family in Maine. So I figured around three since we’re an hour ahead. Gives them time to get up and have lunch, just relax a bit, you know?”

“Alright, gives me plenty of time to clean up. And get pants on.”

The pair of you laughed, eating while conversing about any last-minute plans that either of you might want to do, and you only asked to watch White Christmas since that was a tradition in your family. Where it started you didn’t know but that had become the Christmas tradition, regardless of any other celebrations it was the only “Christmas-y” thing and this year Marcus was going to be there for the movie stream to meet your family too.

After dishes were cleaned up Marcus joined you in the living room and handed you one of your gifts, taking one of his to rest in front of him. You almost laughed because he picked the biggest of the boxes for each of you. The Razor Crest model in your hands was amazing, you would have to assemble it but that was a good rainy-day project, and Marcus looked thrilled when he began going through the canvas prints you had purchased for him to put up. Some of them were multi-panel pieces while others were single canvas pieces, but all of them were from the students he’d taught for his undercover op.

Your next gift was a new, beefy, set of over-the-ear headphones. These had noise cancellation or you could use the ambient mode to still hear things around you, you had only briefly mentioned these to him so for him to remember? You didn’t bother to mute your delighted cheer. Marcus grinned and then fell silent at the scrapbook you’d put in a pretty gift box; you’d only made and set removable labels for the pages with activities you wanted to do together. Things like going to certain museums or traveling to other cities, all optional but just things you thought were fun and cute.

There was even a page dedicated to the city of Casablanca, it made Marcus wipe the pooling tears out of his eyes.

“You- you want to do all this? With me?”

The unspoken words broke your heart.

You see a future with me?

“Absolutely, I do, Marcus -as long as we do it together, we could change up every little thing on those pages. That’s just ideas and possibilities, we can always pick others.”

His last gift was the smallest of the boxes, and the most expensive, so when he opened it to a Cartier box you watched his eyes go wide before he was so lightly touching the face of the watch you’d chosen for him. It was vintage with a round face and black leather band, the exact one he’d been looking at when you’d gone on a date to a silent auction, and you’d been hiding it for months even before he left for the undercover op. Marcus made a little sound of disbelief and you couldn’t help but grin at him, earning a kiss so good your toes curled and you were ready to ignore the last gift of the night.

But Marcus sat you back down and handed you the box, looking so sure of himself, and when you opened it carefully you frowned at the small cardboard box that was apparently empty. Looking up and freezing at the sight of your boyfriend on one knee, your chest tightened up and the mix of joy and the small bubbling doubts after last time made your eyes water.

“Before you say anything, even if the answer is a ‘not right now’ that’s perfectly fine and it won’t hurt my feelings. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, whether we’re married or not, I just want you to have something to show you that I’m serious about you. You walked into my life needing help and then returned that same genuine kindness months later, you have never treated me like I’m too much and you’ve been so patient with me. I know I spent a lot of our relationship gone, which is why you do not have to say yes to this, but I want to marry you and I hope that someday you might want the same.”

“Marcus I can’t lie and say I’m not anxious about this, I am, but you know the reason why and have been patient with me through my healing process. I love you too, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to be by your side and explore the world with you one day at a time. I know we can be amazing together, even with you gone you’ve never given me a reason to doubt you, and I would prefer a longer engagement but I’d be willing to sign the papers tomorrow since it’s you..” He slipped the band on your finger and kissed you, promising you as much time as you needed, and you said a silent prayer to whatever higher power was listening to thank them for allowing this man to cross your path when you needed him the most.

After wrapping paper clean up, fawning over gifts, and very pleasurable thank you’s were exchanged he tucked you against his side on the couch and flipped on Netflix so you could continue catching him up on the shows he’d missed while he was working and glancing at your new ring with hope and love warming your heart.

All Fics Taglist: @haylzcyon @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @tauralmie @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry @all-the-way-down-here

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Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

#marcus pike x gn!reader #marcus pike x reader #pedrostoriesgift22 #pedrostories #mentalist fanfic #marcus pike #chaoticwrites

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ruminate88 · 5 months ago

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06/22/24

I actually am closer right now to my mom-in law than my husband but I don’t tell her everything. She is starting to understand somewhat not all of it but some and of course my father in law is sweet AND he will always wish me happy v-day, or happy b-day when my husband doesn’t. My husband shows love through “gifts”. He’ll buy me a $200 gift for my b-day and watch me open it but won’t write me a card or say he loves me…. I’ve tried to understand his love language and wish he could understand mine too 🫣🥴

I’ve tried to express it once before that I’m NOT ungrateful for gifts just... I know how hard my man works and how much his job sucks. He’s stuck in a factory daily in the heat, with this heavy metal helmet on his head to shield him from the sparks. He has burnt welts on his arms from the heat. (He’s a welder) so…. My empathy says to feel sorry for him and I’ve mentioned to him so many times about getting an easier job but he won’t change. He doesn’t think he can start over somewhere else and ok. I don’t push, just want him to be happy…. So, he works hard to earn a paycheck. I don’t want it 😭😭😭😭 like I mean everyone wants gifts on their birthday and Christmas, that’s normal but not for me. I feel so bad. I feel bad cuz like I’m scared. I feel like no guy before has ever cared about me and why now??? It’s not that I don’t believe my husband but also he won’t say “I love you”????? I wanna hear it sooooo badly. I can taste it. I wanna hear my husband say he wants me and thinks I’m good enough: I know actions speak louder than words. Just I’m a word person. Words is what I know. Even if he did say it, would I feel it??? 😣😣😣 (also, don’t say it unless you mean it. I also stopped saying I love you to him cuz he doesn’t say it back and neither did Andrew) 😝

him coming home every day after work and being here speaks volumes but then he hops onto his video games after dinner and so I just sit by myself and feel bad. I don’t ever feel comfortable to express how I feel. I tried at the start of our marriage to say “you can’t just play video games 24/7, what about me???” But then my husband got defensive and said at one point he didn’t feel good enough for me 😭😭😭😭 I tried to tell him that Andrew said that so many times so I am scared hearing that again. It makes me wanna run away!

my husband won’t hear me out. Last time I tried to say how I felt, he accused me of talking to other guys and wow that hurt me so much and made me go deeper into my hole.(my husband said I pulled away from him) I have written many many HEARTBREAK songs about my past and that upset my husband cuz he thinks I love my exes and not him but ok… I’m JUST NOW learning about emotional abuse and making sense of my past but still don’t have alll the answers. There’s still confusion to some degree AND I wasn’t fully over Andrew when I dated my husband cuz Andrew came back to mess with my head some more and I was torn. I loved Andrew so much but he kept hurting me and I wanted Andrew to come back but I knew that was bad for me…. my husband had to threaten Andrew to leave me alone and so if I bring up Andrew now, will that upset my husband? He told me Andrew would only keep messing with me unless I blocked his number. I blocked Andrew’s number out of respect for my new man cuz we just started dating and I was trying to trust that my new man had my best interest but I wasn’t sure.

sucks to know you loved someone you can’t have cuz they can only harm you. It’s like loving drugs when drugs only destroys you. Same exact problem! Knowing this helps but doesn’t fix my issues. I know I need to pray more and push more but also I’ve sorta stepped back and just sunk into the couch with my headphones and just play music and close my eyes. Just feel my sadness and anger. I don’t think it’s bad, just it’s finally dealing with it but I’ve also beat myself up cuz most people would tell me to “put on my big girl pants” and “move on.” They would say Andrew is a dickhead and I shouldn’t care about him but you can’t just erase feelings… what’s wrong with people??

so where do you feel safe to talk to people anyway?? You don’t wanna be judged. I was judged in every past relationship I had. They would brag on my body, tell me how bad they want to “bang me” and are obsessed with me but then put me down afterwards and slut shame me. Andrew was like “why would you even get with me like that when you know we’re just friends now?? You don’t respect our friendship….” Uggggh dude, you SAID YOU WANTED ME 😓💔 don’t say you want me, use me and then tell me what a horrible person I am. Why did I deserve that at all??? I’ve done nothing but care about my exes and want the best for them. That will NEVER change cuz my heart is pure and legit. You can’t take away my love. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

but right now I’m too scared to push past this barrier in front of me. People won’t shut up about me having kids. They think I don’t want kids and nooo you don’t understand. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. I already helped to raise my bro’s kids. I’m tired. Just mentally done. I only want to help myself this time. I put everyone else’s needs before my own since I was 15. What about me now??? When do I get help?? I’m trying so very very hard to get better. I feel like I’m in slow motion though ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

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hummingbird-of-light · 1 year ago

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Against All Odds

Part 629

McCoy

“What?” McCoy asked at the questioning look on Scotty’s face.

“Ye and Aaron?”

McCoy glanced around as the door to the change room opened. Another pair of boys were exiting. McCoy took Scotty’s arm and they began to move.

“I’ll fill you in later?” McCoy asked quietly.

“Ok,” Scotty agreed slowly. “I’ve something to tell ye too. But private is better.”

They were nearly to the door when a voice called McCoy’s name. Both turned to see Christine hurrying up behind them.

“Are we going to get a chance to catch up after dinner? I want to hear how your break was,” Christine said.

McCoy glanced over her shoulder to see Jocelyn walking to meet Christine.

“I would love to Chris,” McCoy answered. “But not if she’s around.” The words came out stiffly, as Jocelyn stopped at Christine’s side.

Before either girl could answer, McCoy turned, grabbing Scotty’s fingers and went through the door. A quick pace got them to the boy’s dining hall.

“Chris isn’t happy,” Scotty observed.

“Neither am I about this,” McCoy said shortly. “I thought Chris was a better friend than this. All the help she gave us…”

“She is,” Scotty defended her. “Ye said it last night, it’s hard when you don’t want to say why.”

McCoy sighed. “I hate this.”

Scotty pulled him into an alcove outside the dining hall, and wrapped his arms around McCoy.

“We’ll get through it, love. We’ve been through worse. After all she’s not a Romulan.”

McCoy couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him, and he pressed a kiss to Scotty’s lips after.

“Thanks leannan,” he whispered.

“What did ye and Aaron talk about?”

McCoy took a breath. “He wanted to know if she was a good person. He said the way I reacted last night told him she wasn’t.”

“That’s a surprise. He seems like one who’d be first in line for the lass.”

“I know,” McCoy agreed. “He’s not a bad guy. He made a mistake once, and he’s never seemed to have any more issues with me.” McCoy shrugged. “I didn’t tell him anything, just said to be careful around her.”

Scotty nodded, but then a shudder seemed to pass through him.

“What?”

“Can ye imagine if Khan were still here?”

McCoy felt his eyes widen. Jocelyn would definitely have tried to befriend the augment. Just the thought made his stomach twist.

McCoy was sitting with Scotty in the lounge after dinner, trying to decide if they wanted to play the next winners at billiards or grab a deck of cards.

Jaylah plopped down next to McCoy.

“I was right, Just Leonard,” she said and McCoy raised a brow in question at her. “I told you I knew it was your princess sister Robbie was talking with every night.”

“That was never confirmed by the palace,” McCoy said, trying to hide a smile.

“You know it is true! We all know! We saw them together before, it makes sense.”

McCoy let out a laugh. “Yeah, well, I know that wasn’t how they wanted it to come out.”

“Reporters are mean!” Jaylah said.

“Yes, they can be,” McCoy agreed.

Two people sat in the chairs in front of them. McCoy looked over to see Christine in one and Jocelyn in the other. Instantly the smile left his face.

“I forgot I have some biochem work to finish,” he said in an empty voice to Scotty. He began to get up, and heard Christine let out a frustrated noise. McCoy glared at Jocelyn and began to leave the room.

“Leonard McCoy!”

He turned to see Christine standing and staring after him.

“What?”

Christine took a few strides to meet him.

“What’s your problem? Why are you being such a jerk?”

McCoy’s anger began to churn in his stomach.

“Chris—” Scotty tried to say, but McCoy waved a hand at him to stop.

“I’m a jerk?” McCoy asked, keeping his voice even. “Ok.” He turned to leave again. Let Christine learn who Jocelyn really was on her own.

“You’re acting like a baby!” Christine said, grabbing his arm to stop him.

The noise in the room had died down as everyone began to watch the scene unfolding.

“Fine,” McCoy said and pulled his arm away.

“I thought you were better than this,” Christine spat out at him.

McCoy stopped. He took a breath before turning around and walking the couple steps back. He grabbed Christine’s arm.

“You wanna know what my problem is? Fine, then I’ll tell you!” Holding tight to her arm, McCoy half pulled, half pushed Christine from the lounge.

Part 630

Scotty

Scotty couldn't help but stare after his fiancé and Christine. He knew that Leonard was upset, but to let everyone see it once again had probably been a big mistake.

He felt his heart beating in his chest, knowing that every student in the lounge was still looking at the place where they were standing. Their eyes were fixed on Jocelyn.

Scotty swallowed hardly, exchanging a glance with his brother who wasn't standing too far away.

They both had the same question on their mind - what would Jocelyn do now?

For a moment the lass just stood there, flabbergasted, before tears filled her eyes and she ran off.

Some girls followed her, Uhura being one of them. Other students started to chat once again, probably talking about what had happened just now.

Scotty let out a heavy sigh and was surprised when a hand touched his arm.

He looked aside to see Jaylah staring at him. The alien girl had stood up, just like him.

"That Jocelyn girl... I do not see why Just Leonard acts so strange around her. She is very friendly towards everyone."

Scotty gently patted Jaylah's hand that was resting on his arm and together they sat down again.

"Ye see... some things happened between them. Things Leonard doesn't want to talk about."

Jaylah tilted her head in confusion.

"Do you know about these things, Montgomery Scotty?"

He hesitated for a moment, before he nodded.

"Aye. I do."

His counterpart blinked several times, obviously trying to compute Scotty's response.

"Then why don't you tell people? If Just Leonard can't... or doesn't want to."

A weak smile crossed the Scotsman's lips. That was Jaylah. Pure innocence.

"I cannae do this, lassie. It is not my part to tell people about things Leonard wants to keep private."

Jaylah huffed, leaning back, arms folded.

"But it would make things easier."

At that, Scotty couldn't help a soft chuckle.

"Aye, it would for sure. But life's not always easy."

The two of them fell silent for a while, before Scotty suggested a change of topic. Instead of gossiping like others, they talked about Jaylah's plans for the future and her dream of being an engineer.

When Jocelyn returned with the other girls, Scotty swallowed down the big lump in his throat.

He would try his best to ignore her. Even though he wanted nothing more than to snap at her for acting the way she did.

However, his plan failed as soon as Jocelyn stepped over to him. There was a smile on her face.

"Uhm, hey, I'm sorry about what happened with Leonard and Christine."

Scotty just raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah well... ye should apologize to them, not me."

Jocelyn sighed heavily before she sat down next to the Scotsman. Jaylah had left a bit earlier to finish some homework.

"You really think that Leonard is telling you the truth, don't you?"

The girl's voice was nothing more than a mere whisper. There was a strange undertone in it.

Scotty rolled his eyes, trying his best not to groan.

"What are ye getting at?"

A hand was placed on his arm, so he quickly pulled it away.

"Why don't you ask him about the summer when we were kids?"

Scotty couldn't stop the frown forming on his face. He hated that strange feeling that filled the pit of his stomach.

"See what he'll tell you."

Before he could say anything, Jocelyn already got up. She gave him a meaningful glance, then left to go talk to the others.

Scotty looked after her.

What was she going on about?

#star trek #montgomery scott #leonard mccoy #scones #au #against all odds

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