#I tried to capture the feeling of a chilly autumn morning

[leafie-draws]

practice 🌤️🍂

[2dayihaveaheadache]

Devine Grapes (autumn's gift the gods have bestowed upon me)

(TW: written full of anger and bitterness, fighting my way through writer's block, trying to capture the shame and doubt.

“Your muse's kiss will fade. Desert you. One day, it will. Just as the sun bleeds over the horizon one more time you’ll awaken to your bed gone cold. A void, a chilly emptiness next to you where the spark, the force driving you used to be – your lover, you may say. The guiding hand, the nourishing warmth, the insatiable craving for another sentence, another page, another thought etched onto paper – all of that will be gone. Left you hanging with no trace and no footprint to follow.".

That's something one of my professors in Creative Writing once told me and at first, you listen to it, sitting down there in the lecture hall and thinking if this will ever happen to you, it'll be in decades, cause there you are, filled to the brim with bright ideas. Then it happens to you, hits you like a whirlwind, and leaves you with nothing but shame. Because as a writer what are you without words? I wasn't prepared for it.)

It's a Monday, just an ordinary Monday in the heart of October when he loses the right to call himself a writer. The morning sun has melted away the snow, leaving only dampness behind that, clings to the leaves scattered on the sidewalk outside his office window. It's a pitiful sight as he gazes down from the second floor, at those lifeless leaves that should have succumbed to death long ago—or better yet, should have remained dead. Only the icy grip of winter had frozen them in time, bestowing upon them a bit more of life, a stupid deception. Now that winter has departed, all that's left is their sorry brown remnants.

But even that is not their end. They are damp, they cling, they attach themselves to the soles of those passing by, carried along for a few more steps, perhaps feeling the sun's warmth or the cool spring breeze one last time. But then, they eventually become nothing, breaking down into individual fragments—cellulose, chlorophyll, and more. Who pauses to observe them when they're reduced to tatters? Who cares about the old leaves that cling to you, brushing them off as bothersome dirt? Which tree mourns their loss?

So, what value do these final hours hold, these last hours of life, when all of it is going to be wasted at the end?

He takes a strong sip from his Chablis, vintage 2013, and murmurs, "Writer," into the empty space before him. His office only answers with silence. The word tastes peculiar on his tongue, sour like fermented milk, and when he swallows, it leaves a bitter aftertaste, erasing the sourness altogether. The vine suddenly tastes horrible. "Writer," he tries again, as if repeating the word would somehow make it better. He stands there, silent in his contemplation, the word "writer" hanging heavy in the air, entangled with the melancholy of the season's change. It's as if the departing winter had taken a piece of him too, leaving behind a barrenness that mirrors the desolation of those lingering leaves.

What are his final hours worth? What is a writer without words? A fish without water. A ship without a sea. A tree without roots or even a man without fingers.

[mavenantonia]

Collision of Hearts

Hogwarts Legacy MC x Hogwarts Legacy MC

OC x OC

(1913 Wordcount)

Fluff (tiny bit of angst if you squint)

Ambrose Nightshade X Roary Goldneye

It was a chilly autumn morning at the beginning of the term in 6th year. Two young friends were making their way down the long hallway, trying their best to quickly but also efficiently reach their potions class. Roary Goldneye, a cheerful and kind-hearted Hufflepuff with a sunny disposition and radiant smile that was well-known to her fellow housemates was now almost running as she clutched a stack of books against her chest with one arm and the other was being pulled by her Slytherin best friend Antonia. 

“Come on Roary, we can’t be late again! Professor Sharp may have given us a pass last time but he said next time it happens, we are on cauldron scrubbing duty. Vamos!” Antonia said while pulling along Roary by the sleeves of her robe. 

“I promise Antonia, I’m trying my best. It’s just so early, and not all of us have quidditch practice to give us that extra energy boost.” Roary huffed but still smiled as she was glad she had someone to really get her out of bed in the morning. 

“Oh I know Roro, but you could always try out for the Hufflepuff team if you wanted. I could even get James to put in a good word for you.” Antonia smiled while slowing down their pace just a little bit, to let Roary catch her breath. 

“You know I would, but I value my free time.” Roary teased, pushing up her glasses that were falling down her nose.

 “And you are saying I don’t?” Antonia said back in an equally teasing, but almost challenging tone. Letting go of Roary’s sleeve as she tried her best to smooth out her curly mane. Antonia often times wished she had the smooth silkiness of her dear friend's golden locks.

Rounding the corner at break-neck speed was someone who was hot on the tail of the small Slytherin. Ambrose Nightshade, a Ravenclaw with striking purple eyes and a reputation as a heartless flirt was on a mission of his own. He had been seeking Antonia Flamel, a captivating Slytherin girl who had captured his attention. Ambrose's sister, Aria Nightshade, had warned him about his reckless ways with girls, but his curiosity and charm often got the best of him. In his fervent pursuit of Antonia, Ambrose failed to notice the sweet Hufflepuff Roary. 

The collision was sudden and unexpected. Books and parchment flew in all directions as Ambrose tumbled forward, landing right on top of Roary. Time seemed to freeze as their eyes met. Roary's big baby blue eyes gazed up into Ambrose's purple ones, and in that moment, the world seemed to fade away. It was as if they were the only two people in the castle, and an unspoken connection sparked between them. 

Roary's heart fluttered as she saw a glimpse of something genuine and warm in Ambrose's eyes. When Ambrose first fell on top of Roary in that Hogwarts hallway, his initial feelings were a whirlwind of confusion and surprise. His heart hammered within his chest, and it was a sensation with which he was not at all well acquainted. It was as if a storm had erupted inside him, tossing aside the calm and calculated exterior he had carefully constructed over the years.

Roary, with her pure, innocent, and sweet appearance, seemed to materialize out of thin air, and Ambrose couldn't fathom how he had not noticed her before. Her beauty was like a revelation to him, with her face radiating a genuine kindness that he had rarely encountered. Her adorable freckles, blue eyes as wide as the sky, and as deep as the ocean, along with her golden hair cascading around her, painted a portrait of an angel that had fallen from the sky.

At that moment, as he gazed into her eyes, Ambrose realized that Roary had the power to unravel the carefully crafted persona he had maintained for so long. He had always prided himself on being in control of his feelings, a master of charm and allure. But around Roary, he felt a loss of control, a vulnerability he had never experienced.

The clash between his desire to maintain his old self and the overwhelming emotions Roary stirred within him left him torn. He needed to escape from her presence, from the feelings that threatened to consume him. He didn't want to change; he had built his reputation as the "ice prince" for a reason.

On the opposite end, When Ambrose fell on top of Roary in that unexpected encounter in the Hogwarts hallway, Roary's world seemed to come to a halt. Her heart raced, and her breath caught in her throat as she found herself face-to-face with the enigmatic Ravenclaw.

Roary, an innocent and virginal girl with no prior relationship experience, had never felt anything like this before. It was as if a tidal wave of emotions had crashed over her, overwhelming her senses. Her mind went blank as she stared into Ambrose's striking purple eyes, which seemed to hold a universe of secrets.

His soft lavender hair, skin nearly as white as snow, and the beauty marks near his lips were all details that etched themselves into Roary's memory at that moment. His features were undeniably beautiful, and Roary couldn't help but think that they begged to be explored and appreciated.

As Ambrose lay on top of her, time seemed to stretch infinitely, and Roary felt a curious mixture of vulnerability and intrigue. She was acutely aware of his body pressed against hers, the warmth of his presence, and the feeling of his breath against her skin. It was a sensation she had never experienced, and it left her feeling both flustered and strangely elated.

Roary's own blue eyes, wide and filled with wonder, locked with Ambrose's as their gazes met. At that moment, all the innocence and purity that defined Roary's character seemed to converge with the mystery and allure of Ambrose. She felt a strange pull, an inexplicable connection that defied her lack of prior relationship experience.

In the midst of that collision, Roary's heart whispered a truth she couldn't deny: there was something about Ambrose that fascinated her beyond words. It was as if fate had thrown them together to unravel a story neither of them had expected. As her thoughts raced and her heart beat faster, Roary couldn't help but wonder what this unexpected encounter would mean for her, for Ambrose, and for the intricate dance of emotions that had begun to unfold.

The stunned third party finally took their chance to act. When Antonia pulled Ambrose off of Roary in that unexpected hallway encounter, she acted swiftly to ensure her best friend's well-being. As Antonia helped Ambrose to his feet, she cast a concerned glance at Roary as she also raised her from the ground, who appeared slightly dazed from the collision. As Roary started to look around on the ground for her glasses, Antonia took her chance and spoke with a calm and firm tone, addressing Ambrose directly but keeping Roary in mind.

"Ambrose," Antonia began, "I need to talk to you for a moment." Her tone was serious, reflecting her worry for Roary's sake. Although she did not know what truly had just transpired at that moment, she felt a shift in the air. Something was happening, she didn’t know what, she just needed to make sure of one thing, that Roary was not going to be bothered by someone she considered not worthy of her attention. 

Ambrose, still slightly disoriented from the collision and the abrupt interruption, looked at Antonia with a mix of confusion and curiosity. "What's going on, Antonia?"

Roary, her blue eyes wide and her freckled face flushed, remained quiet, not wanting to interject in the conversation between her best friend and Ambrose. Antonia grabbed Ambrose by his sleeve and pulled him around the corner to confront him directly.

Initially, a smirk began to arise on Ambrose’s face as he was probably going to say something less than desirable. Antonia continued, concern evident in her golden eyes. "Ambrose, I have clearly been avoiding you, I know you about your… reputation, and it was from quite a reputable source."

Ambrose's expression shifted, his guard momentarily rising as he realized the seriousness of the situation. "I see. But what does that mean exactly?"

Antonia paused. “I’m not entirely sure, first you are pursuing me, endlessly. Now you accost my friend in the hallway, nearly injuring her. I don’t understand what just happened. But I felt something. Something different, something off.” 

Ambrose's purple eyes softened as he turned to look at Roary, who was still standing nearby and peeking around the corner. He stopped staring at the visible angel in front of him and tried his best to focus on the person in front of him, he could see the concern in Antonia's eyes and the care she had for her friend.

“I understand that Antonia, but what are you trying to say here?” he said, worry rising in his tone. Something was falling into the pit of his stomach.

Antonia sighed, her eyes hardening as she locked his gaze to hers. “Roary is my friend, my dearest, sweetest friend. I am going to need you to stay away from her. I don’t want her getting caught up in a situation that could hurt her. If there is anything I could do to prevent it, I will.” her tone was firm, and most of all, final.

Ambrose’s breath caught in his throat, and his heart began racing again for the second time today. This one was from pure devastation and anxiety. But there was something around Antonia that really told him he had no ability to challenge her words, much less question them. Maybe it was the shift in the air or the fact that her hair appeared to spark and her eyes glow. Either way, he knew there was no way around this situation… for now.

“Ambrose?”, Antonia asked, pulling him out of his anxiety-induced stupor.

Ambrose let out a long breath he had no idea that he was holding, he held up his hand to her as in a solemn promise and promptly said “Say no more, you have my word.” Behind his back though, a childish notion, his fingers were crossed. 

Antonia too let out a breath and smiled a wide, toothy smile. The sweetness was intense, you would have never known that she could shift the air of a room to a truly intimidating one. “I’m glad we understand each other Mr. Nightshade, I’ll be keeping my eye on you from now on,” she said. 

“Oh, I’m truly flattered,” Ambrose smirked while returning to his initial persona.

“Welllll, me and Roary gotta get to class now. Hopefully, we won’t run into each other like that again.” Antonia turned away from him finally, returning to Roary knowing that they wasted enough time on this and they most surely would have cauldron duty later that night.

With that, the conversation concluded, and Antonia and Roary continued on their way to their potions class, leaving Ambrose behind. Antonia took Roary’s hand, and not waiting for a beat, Roary and Ambrose both spared a glance behind them, locking eyes once again. Something unspoken had passed between them. The interaction in the hallway left an indelible mark on everyone that day.

No one could guess what was going to happen between this group of friends in the weeks following.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read the Erwin date scenarios and it’s so hood AGH could you please do one for armin? Plz 😚

You read my mind👀 ngl I think about Armin each time I write something for Erwin, despite them being alike i like to compare the differences and think they have different tastes and love languages.

Erwin strikes me a more act of services and gift giving guy while Armin would definitely go for words of affirmation and quality time.

Type of dates with Armin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "in bloom" by Abbott Fuller Graves 1859–1936 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Spending a full day on the beach: when i say a full day I mean it, he's driving you there really early in the morning while you're struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. He doesn't even need coffee he's running on 100% pure determination and will.

You'd arrive before anyone there, to get the best spot of course. It's close enough to the sea that you can feel the humidity of the water in the air, yet far enough from the rest of the beach that other people won't bother you.

He'd understand if you were too sleepy to help him set things up, he'd just kiss your forehead before letting you go back to sleep, promising he'll get you something to drink when the stores open.

You wake up to the smell of your favourite hot drink, just around 8am. The sun is up and the air is refreshing, you can hear the quiet chatter of people far away just arriving here. You sip your drink as Armin guides you to the small comfortable space he made, proudly showing off his work.

Please praise him and give him a kiss on the cheek, he will melt.

The rest of the day is spent with you two swimming lazily in the water, feeling the warm sunlight on your skin. Collecting whatever pretty seashell you see, using some to decorate the sandcastle Armin built with you. He takes a pictures of you at seemingly random moments, he promises to show you when he devolps them later.

You help him dry his hair afterwards, he take you to get ice cream. Despite getting you one too, he still ends up sharing his own with you, and if you're up for seconds he'd happily oblige.

When night falls and the people began leaving, the waves of the ocean get a little higher, wind turning colder. Don't worry, Armin thought about that, that's why he brought blankets.

He'd wrap you both in the same one, even holding you close to him, it's for warmth he says and yet he seems like he was looking forward for this. You help him in making a small bonfire, he brought marshmallows.

The rest of the night is spent with you laying against him while huddled in a blanket, looking at the heavens above and the constellation of the stars.

He takes your hand in his, guiding your finger to where polaris is. "It never changes" he says "no matter what" and from that star, he guides you through the formation of the little dipper.

Just right under it, directly under the polaris, begins the big dipper, a close replica to its little sister.

You spend hours like this, looking at the stars as new formations come and go with the time. You were early enough to catch Aries as it was leaving, pleiades, the seven sisters shining brightly next to it.

And just after midnight it was Sirius turn to say goodbye. That's when both of you decided to call it a night, he hugged you close to him, you could feel his heartbeat slowing down, he was oh so warm and tasted just like chocolate and marshmallows when you kissed goodnight.

2. Going on an adventure and trying new things: Armin has the need to try new things and gain new experiences, despite being someone who prefers small groups of friends and getting lost in a book than socialising. It's something that's been a part of him since he was a child, he wants to experience what the world has to offer and won't say no despite how utterly terrifying it can be to him.

And he wants to have those experiences with you, to share his love for the unknown with you, to see your reactions and share his own thoughts. The only thing that's better than going on adventures to him is going on adventures with you.

An adventure could be anything really, it could be going diving underwater or going to that creepy looking supermarket that never closes, you never know. An adventure is an adventure after all. The possibilities are endless.

So don't be surprised when he asks for you to go with him sky diving for his birthday despite knowing how terrfied he is of heights and how even a carnaval ride can make him sick.

Good or bad he doesn't care, he just wants to try and learn everything. He's full of curiosity and surprises that you'd never get bored, although a good thing about him is that he never is unprepared.

Yes he will take you on seemingly dangerous adventures but know that he really deeply thought about this before hand and is prepared for all the different scenarios that could happen, he likes the unknown but he's smart and cautious on how to approche it.

Not to mention that a single adventure can leave him satisfied for a long time before craving a new rush, probably once or twice a year. Just frequent enough to be something to look forward to but not too frequent that it becomes boring or too repetitive, he manages to keep that balance and walk on that thin line.

3. Hot air ballon ride: just imagine, it's early autumn, the weather is just right to wear those cozy yet good looking clothes, the earth seems like it's turning slower than usual as the trees change colours.

Around sunrise or sunset, both of you are high up in the air, the sun clearly in view with the golden clouds surrounding it. The world managing to look so small yet so vast at the same time.

Armin is wearing his favourite sweater and scarf combo, he's holding your hand in his pocket to keep it warm. It's just you and him isolated from the rest of the world like other people dont exist anymore, and strangely he's okay with that, at peace even.

He brings a camera and captures how the sun reflects in your eyes, how the chilly air makes you rub your hands together for warmth and how utterly breathtaking you look.

Beautiful, gorgeous even, these are the only thoughts in his mind at that moment.

And so Armin made a promise to himself that in the far future, when he wants to be even closer to you, to vow his life to yours, he'd propose on a hot air balloon.

But as much as he likes staying up in the air with you being his angel, the process of booking a ride is much more complicated and time consuming than he originally thought. Meaning he doesn't get to enjoy these rare heavenly moments as he wants to.

He needs to make reservations in advance, not to mention how important it is to choose a trustworthy company. Lastly how rides depend on the weather conditions, needing to reschedule if the weather takes a turn to the worse.

4. Visiting the aquarium or planetarium: he's just a boy with oceans for eyes and stars in his smile, can you really blame him for gravitating towards these places? Or for diving too deep in knowledge about the sky above and sea below?

Whenever the weather is too harsh for a beach trip or the sky is too cloudy for a stargazing night, these two places are his to go backups.

He's memorised the place like the back of his hand, no need for a map. Want to see the shark tanks and how they're doing? He'll take you there and introduce to them and the silly nicknames he gave them. Or how about saying hello to the dolphins who'll show off some moves just for your attention, or maybe you miss seeing the adorable penguins wobble around?

He knows endless facts about each fish kind, he makes it seem so fascinating and the way he phrases the information and coats them in milk and honey makes it impossible for you not to engage.

You both could have a slow with few words spoken walk and it still be as interesting, he'd even make special playlists to listen to while walking around and sharing his earphones.

Meanwhile at the planetarium, sometimes in the early mornings you'd run into kids just arriving for their school trip. Racing each other to the solar system panel and looking in amazement when the stars show begins. You and Armin have a nostalgic feeling when watching them, yet when you look at each other you remember how good it feels like to be grown and have someone special.

You never could get bored of seeing the stars, especially not with Armin.

5. Trying a new kind of art: one time you asked him what does he think the meaning of art is, what even is art?

"Art is communication" he said.

Armin has a deep love and appreciation for all kind of art, from classic oil canvas paintings to old greek sculptures. He doesn't pick a side, he likes both the modren and classic.

Music is art, writing is art and even making pottery is a form of art too. He wants to experience it, not for a need to acolmplish something or to rival Shakespeare, but for a need to communicate his emotions in a more subtle and personal way.

Like a secret language only he can decipher the meaning of, after all he was the one to create it.

Whenever he tries a new form of art, his usual fear of failure and absurdly high expectations actually go out the window. There isn't good and bad art, there's just different levels of communication and different styles.

So to him, the act of bringing you both some watercolours and cotton papers to paint on for a date is incredibly intimate, that's his true feelings and emotions he's showing you. But don't worry, he isn't here to take the whole thing seriously, he's actually playful and mellow most of the time.

Or maybe he'd like to make pottery with you, an excuse to put his hands around yours while sitting intimately close, maybe even give your shoulder a couple kisses while you shape the vase you agreed on making.

The next day, you find the finished vase near the window with a sunflower arrangements inside.

It also could be you two sitting next to each other, working together on a page of an adult colouring book or maybe to each one his own book. He'd hog the color blue most of the time so watch out, and don't lend him yours because he will hog it too.

Or maybe as a fun past time, you'd both attempt to make poetry, expect you're getting more and more drunk on the fruit flavoured beer he brought with him. You had fun laughing while reading what you came up with the next morning.

6. Going fruit picking in summer: it's his favourite way to celebrate the arrival of his favourite season, wear something light, pack some lemonade and go enjoy what mother nature has to offer.

You two would walk around in the fields, he's wearing a straw hat to block the sun, he thinks it looks better on you. Both of you looking at the fruits waiting to be picked, choosing the really unique shaped ones, the colourful ones and the especially delicious looking ones.

You might meet some small friends along the way, like a couple ladybugs that were crawling up Armin's arm. Two butterflies dancing in the air and even a frog that's taking a walk from its lake home nearby.

Going home that day with baskets full of different fruits waiting for your use, Armin and you discuss all the different ways you could use them for, like making delicious smoothies, or maybe saving them for baking a pie or cake. Maybe cutting them in small bites and covering them with different kinds of chocolate, maybe just making a fruits salad to enjoy while Armin reads you a book

Or maybe, maybe just washing them and eating them raw. Yeah that option sounds the most appealing after a day of walking through fields in the sun.

He'd feed you some, push them against your lips and smile when your eyes subtly light up at the sweet taste....maybe a kiss after so he could taste it too?

[eatfishies]

i’m good at goodbyes

summary: Without even realizing, you and Tendou had both grown apart just like the wilting leaves in autumn.

note: Slight spoiler from the manga since it features time skip! Tendou. Borders signifies time skip but no exact date specified. fem! reader. she/her pronouns. word count: 1,911 words warnings: none genre: angst arthie’s note: i tried to capture that feeling of being in the autumn season so i googled a lot of metaphors related to it but idk if it makes sense (╥_╥) also this fic literally makes my chest hurt from writing it lolol. i got rlly sad writing this.. also idk if i’m quite satisfied with it.. felt like i could do better but my friend liked it and i’m kinda lazy to fix it. anyways i hope all of you enjoy it nevertheless ~ ↳ back to main masterlist ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ “I like you, Tendou-san!” She confessed, staring at the ground instead of looking into the taller boy’s gaze. He smirked, “Oh? How long have you been liking me then?” The playful tone caught her off guard as she looked up at him. Her brows furrowed in confusion, “W— what?” “How long did you like me before deciding to confess to me, hm? Answer it and maybe you’ll get a surprise answer from me too!” He exclaimed, grinning. Biting her lip while nervousness bubbles in the pit of her stomach. Her mind racing back and forth to find the right words to say. He hums, “Don’t make me wait for too long or else I’ll get bored and leave you alone.”

With hesitation, she utters out. “I— I like you for 4 months now, Tendou-san.” The wind blows, making the leaves from the trees stumbling to the ground, whiff of autumn fronds easing her anxiousness as she anticipates the answer. He giggles, grabbing a hold of her hands. “Then let’s date!” She lets out a startled gasp, “I’m s— sorry, what?!” He sways her hands back and forth, “Do you not hear me? I said let’s date.” Blinking up at him as bewilderment settles on her face. “Tendou-san... do you like me?” Crimson eyes bore into hers, “You silly girl. Of course, I like you! If not i wouldn’t have asked you out to date, aren’t I?” Chuckling at her frivolous question. She beams at him, “Okay! I’ll date you!” The grip on her hands tightens as he flashes back a smile of his own. The chilly breeze wafting through them as the trees shakes, maple colored leaves falling, warmth pooling in their stomachs. ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ Exhaling, Tendou leans back on the chair after exhaustion wears him down from kneading the dough and letting it rest aside, sweat dripping down his face as he rubs it away with a towel. The front door clicks open as she entered the house, “I’m home!” Announcing as the shoes slips off of her. “Y/n! You’re finally home!” He rushes to greet her and welcome her in his embrace however upon seeing her tiresome expression, he frowns. “What’s wrong?” He asks worriedly, checking her temperature. A small smile etched on her lips, “Nothing, it’s just work.” She reaches out and envelopes him in a hug.  Rubbing her back as an attempt to soothe her worries, “Don’t think about that at home. I’ll cheer you up! I’m making sourdough right now!”  She chuckles at his chirpy mood, “Okay. I’ll look forward to tasting it.” They fall into their normal routine, him making a mess in the kitchen while she goes to clean herself and unwind from the stress at work. “So how does it taste?” His eyes glinting with anticipation. She hums, relishing the soft bread in her mouth. “It’s so good! Babe, you’ve done such a great job!” She praises as she takes another nibble of the bread. He grins happily, “I’m glad you like it! It makes my heart warm seeing you happy!” ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ Days turns into weeks turns into months of their routines. However the blazing spark of devotion is no longer apparent in both of their glares nor their hearts. Growing distance as they both get consumed by ambition and the drive to strive for a better future. I love yous evaporated into short glances that turned into radio silence when one of them returns home or when they both fall asleep in their shared bed. No more lingering caresses leaving one’s fingers nor tenderness words that makes their heart beats rapidly with affection. With Tendou insisting that he should stay over at Ushijima’s place because it’s nearby the bakery that he works at. The house is left all alone to her possession except for the occasional visit from Shirabu and Semi or her mother. It went by quickly and they both haven’t realized that they managed to not say a word to one another— not even through text messages or phone calls. It was as if they weren’t in a committed relationship to even begin with. Too much work tasks to focus on and not enough time to think about their significant other. However one day, she forgot her house keys and is currently stuck outside, mentally slapping herself for not checking properly before leaving for work. Oh, Satori is at home! She thought suddenly but the thought diminished as she realizes he hasn’t come home nor talk to her for months. Sighing, she sent a text asking if he has the spare key and much to her luck, he still has it. Now, they’re both standing in the park as autumn leaves breezes through the wind. The grip on her bag tightened as she stared at the man whom she no longer feels familiar with. “Hey Y/n... long time no see, huh?” A loop-sided smile plastered on his face as his scarlet gaze holds little to no emotion. “Hi.. Satori.” She mutters out, seeming to become aware of the distance they’ve both put up. Her stomach wasn’t filled with butterflies of excitement from seeing him or being in his presence. Her heart isn’t pounding at a fast pace nor does she get giggly around him anymore. It dissipated into an oblivion. With just a mere glance at him, she could tell those eyes held no infatuation towards her either. “I got the spare key here.” His palm revealed the item he mentioned with the keychain of chocolate ice cream attached to it. Inhaling, she takes the key out of his grasp. “Thank you.” Observing the key, it seems untouched and rustic due to neglect however it might work just fine. Silence washes over them as they both stood in front of each other, their words diminished from their tongues; forgetting what it’s like to communicate with each other. He speaks up, “So... I guess this is it?” She searches his eyes for a sign or something but found nothing. It’s all empty. The warm gaze she cherished is long gone. It’s too late to fix the burgeoning space between them no matter how hard she tries. The mutual feeling ceased to exist. Although that doesn’t mean it hurts less, “Yeah, I guess this is it.” He nodded solemnly, “Goodbye Y/n.” A sharp intake of breath and she lets out a quiet mutter, “Goodbye Satori.” His eyes lingers on her one last time before turning around and walking to his destination. Tears ran down her cheeks as she finally grasped upon the idea of not being able to see him again. This is really over. They’re both too busy chasing their dreams that they didn’t realize that their relationship was instantaneously falling apart. Leaves tumbling from the fallen trees as the skies grew darker and the gust of air becomes colder; just like the love they once had. ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ “Attention all passengers, flight PS16 is about to board in 10 minutes. Please check in at gate D64 before boarding the flight.” He smiles at his stoic best friend, sadness gleamed in his harsh stare. “Don’t be sad, Wakatoshi-kun. We’ll see each other again when you have a match in Paris!” He pats Ushijima’s back, reassuring him. “Why didn’t you tell Y/n?” He asked promptly, surprising the red-headed man. He raises his brows, “Ah... I don’t want to upset her any further. Even though we are no longer together, I’ll always have a spot for her.” He admitted, recalling the memories of their last encounter. “Attention passengers, flight PS16 is now boarding. I repeat, flight PS16 is now boarding. Please check in at gate D64 before boarding the flight.” Tendou gave one last smile at his best friend, “I have to go now, Wakatoshi-kun. I’ll see you later. Send my farewell to Y/n.” He waves as he walks away from Ushijima. ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ The birds chirps in the early morning, she came to a halt, panting heavily from the jog. “I really suck at exercising...” She mumbles to herself, sitting on the bench nearby. Wiping her sweat away with a handkerchief, she saw a tall figure approaching her. Feeling apprehensive, she prepares herself to defend from the stranger. “Y/n.” She stares up in shock at the person standing in front of her. “U— Ushijima-san?” She croaks out, blinking rapidly. Shaking her head, “What are you doing here?” “I was on a jog but I saw you here which is why I came up to you.” She restrained herself from giggling at his nonchalant statement. Before she could make any small talk, he interrupts her. “Tendou sends his farewell to you.” “Huh?” She furrowed her brows in confusion, “What do you mean?” “He has moved to Paris and decided to pursue a career as a chocolatier.” “Oh.” Averting her gaze to her fiddling fingers, so he left for good... she wondered idly. Fluttering her eyes closed, she utters. “Thank you for telling me, Ushijima-san.” When she opens her eyes, he remained in the same position as previously, watching her intently. “Don’t be sad. Tendou said you’ll always have a spot in his life.” He states monotonously. She gave a small smile to him, “Thanks but I think our relationship had ended way before we both realize it, unfortunately.” The skies getting brighter, crows latching off the crumbs of food on the ground as people rush to their destination. “I don’t particularly understand what you two meant when you both said that but I will be leaving now. Have a nice day, Y/n.” He continues jogging off before she could bid him goodbye. Traces of his touch lingers on her skin like a ghost possessing a mortal’s mind. The orange leaves falls in a swift motion, flying among the whiff of air. She wanted to cry but all of her tears have ran dry from the persistent thoughts of him. The love was no longer reciprocated by both parties and all that’s left is the wilted warmth of what used to spark their hearts. ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ Somewhere in Paris, he observes the scenery before him. A void in his chest— it was as if he left his heart somewhere in Japan and never got it back. Recollection of her heartbroken sobs ingrained in his mind, replaying over and over continuously without stopping. Tears built up in his eyes as he furiously blinks them away from threatening to spill. Never would’ve imagined that the dreadful day of departing from her would become so unbearable with pain. Pain of losing someone whom are fully aware that they could never return the flame of infatuation back to you and realizing that you are also unable to repay what’s last bit of adoration you’ve once had for that person. It’s too far gone— wavering into the wind, carrying all of the sorrows from the past into an oblivion. The maple leaves sheds to the soil with graceful sweep, fleeing from their home. With a shuddered sigh, he lets the tears stream down his face, ignoring the curious pedestrians stares. Just like the petal slipping from the tree’s grasp, he would have to eventually accept that they both have to move on to grow as an individual— even if that means leaving their yearning for each other. Smiling to himself, he thought carelessly. Autumn does not bring me comfort nor warmth anymore. It no longer feels like home— safe and tender when all it feels like now is melancholy and devoid.

[pawsnread]

Untamed Fall Fest Day 14: Savor

It’s a gray autumn morning, and Song Lan just wants to savor the moment.

Part of the Where We Come Alive ficlet series.

Song Lan blinked blearily into the grayness of a rainy autumn morning, the sound of raindrops drumming steadily on the rooftop and windows. He stretched beneath the warmth of the covers, the air just beginning to turn chilly as winter tried to sink in. With a yawn, Song Lan made to get out of bed, but a soft sigh and a warm body pressed against his back stopped him.

“Zichen,” came a sleepy sounding mumble.

One corner of his lips tugged upwards as Song Lan turned. Tucked snugly under the quilt was Xingchen, only his head visible above the bedsheets. Dark strands had come loose from his braid, curling about his face. He must have spoken in his sleep as Xingchen made no other sound or movement as Song Lan shifted closer. With slow movements, he wrapped his arms around Xingchen; he pressed a kiss to Xingchen’s brow before tucking that dark crown beneath his chin. With a quiet sigh, Song Lan closed his eyes, absentmindedly combing his fingers through Xingchen’s hair.

He liked mornings like this, lazy mornings with Xingchen curled against him and still half asleep. They rarely had a chance to linger in bed most days; even after the Olympics were over, it had been a whirlwind couple of months moving back to Boston and both house and school space hunting - not to mention that long promised wedding to plan. Song Lan sometimes missed those slow weekend mornings during their academy days, when they had no classes or practice to attend, no obligations. It was just them, alone in their dorm, enjoying the early morning hours and each other’s company.

Another sleepy mumble of his name drew Song Lan out of his thoughts. This time, Xingchen began to shift into wakefulness, lashes fluttering against his cheeks before opening sleepily. A slow, soft smile spread across his face as he caught sight of Song Lan in the gray morning light.

“Hi,” he murmured softly.

“Good morning,” Song Lan replied. Unable to resist, he leaned in to claim a slow, sweet morning kiss. His next words were murmured in a low voice, lips brushing lightly against Xingchen’s as he spoke. “So, what kinds of plans do you have for today?”

“We still have half the house to unpack.” Xingchen’s laughter in answer to the face Song Lan made was a cheerful echo through the room.

“How about option two?”

“What’s option two?”

A sly grin formed on Song Lan’s face as he whispered low into Xingchen’s ear. “You, me, breakfast in bed.”

“And who is going to be the one to make said breakfast in bed?”

“I didn’t mean that kind of breakfast.”

For a moment, Xingchen simply stared at him, eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Song Lan’s face. With one finger, he playfully tapped Zichen’s temple.

“One track mind,” Xingchen teased.

“Just looking to savor the morning,” Song Lan retorted gently.

“I don’t object, but we do have plans to look at some space for the school, remember? And don’t forget that endorsement deal meeting.” Xingchen fell silent at Song Lan’s agonized groan. He didn’t protest as the arms across is back tightened and Song Lan buried his face against Xingchen’s neck.

“Don’t ruin my morning,” he said, voice muffled by Xingchen’s shirt. Song Lan sighed at the feeling of fingers gently combing through his hair.

“We have time, Zichen. We have all the time in the world now.” The kiss was soft, loving, as Xingchen pressed his lips to Song Lan’s temple. “Just us.”

He pulled back just enough to lift his eyes and catch Xingchen’s gaze, slow smiles forming on both their faces.

“Together,” Song Lan said before he captured those lips again. The rain continued on, drumming rhythmically against the window as they traded kisses and savored the moments.

[vixxscifiwritings]

and the leaves turn in september

Length - 3670 words

Characters - Hakyeon x Sanghyuk

Rating - General

Summary - Late summer passes in yearning for a love that Sanghyuk believes is elusive and Hakyeon wishes for.

Series

Tag List -  @tomatoholmes @merlionmen @seraphistols  @k-craze-97 @blossomtearsleo

-

01

“We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”

— Henry Rollins

The morning after the storm is bright and golden. Sanghyuk wakes up when the sun is well above the horizon. The rattling of the windows in the storm has kept most of the manor's occupants awake and he only manages to sleep once the storm passes, well into the night. He makes his way down the halls to the kitchen. The house is quiet, as if slumbering after the stormy night like its inhabitants are. All except one Sanghyuk discovers as he finds Hakyeon in the kitchen.

“Good morning” Hakyeon greets him and Sanghyuk greets him in response. His throat is constricted in the mornings and his voice sounds husky with sleep. He makes a beeline for the nearest chair and tries not to rub his eyes and fails.

“Did you sleep well?” Hakyeon asks, brewing tea and adding some extra water to the kettle for Sanghyuk. He slides onto a tall stool by the counter, sitting next to Sanghyuk who yawns sleepily when handed his mug. Hakyeon almost melts at how soft Sanghyuk looks right now with his hair mussed, eyes half closed and sweater pulled down to cover his fingers as he warms them on the mug with the hot tea. He stuffs the warmth in his chest deep down and tries not to let the sudden overwhelming amount of affection show.

“More or less,” Sanghyuk says before yawning again. Hakyeon smiles knowingly and Sanghyuk sighs, admitting to the truth.

“The storm was really loud yesterday,” Hakyeon says, staring out of the window. In the distance, Sanghyuk can see the garden filled with leaves and jumbled flower beds and feels terrible for Jaehwan who has been slaving away in the gardens since he came home.

“I hope the farm is better off” Hakyeon says, knocking on the table thrice. Sanghyuk’s family’s farm has many open fields and Hakyeon doesn’t believe flowers are as sturdy as some other crops grown around town. At least vineyards have wooden frames supporting the growing plants.

“Our fields and greenhouses are sturdy, don’t worry,” Sanghyuk says. The rain storms of Amboise are not new to his family and the farm has safeguards in place to protect the produce. The great storm during his great grandfather’s time had been a hard lesson with an entire year’s worth of crops lost.

“You know” Hakyeon starts and his smooth voice pulls Sanghyuk out of his reminiscing. “On a more peaceful day, it’s refreshing to sit outside in the garden in the mornings.”

Sanghyuk hums in agreement and Hakyeon wistfully stares outside. He turns to Sanghyuk who looks at him thoughtfully. He raises an eyebrow and Sanghyuk shakes his head. Sanghyuk sets his mug down, idly running his finger around the rim as he rests his head on his other hand.

“The rains will stop once September starts” Sanghyuk says. “And we’ll have a few days of sunlight in early fall before the cold creeps in.”

“That’s my favourite part of the year,” Hakyeon confesses. “When it is a pleasant temperature and there is still sunshine to warm you up.”

“We should go on a picnic then like we did last week. Or simply walk by the river. The trees along the banks turn orange and look beautiful” Sanghyuk proposes.

“I’d like that,” Hakyeon says, smiling brightly. “We should make a plan once everyone else wakes up. But I don’t know if Hongbin and Jaehwan are staying in Amboise that long.”

“Ah” Sanghyuk says, looking at his own mug. He doesn’t meet Hakyeon’s eyes. How could he have forgotten about Hongbin? Taekwoon and Jaehwan’s enigmatic guest who seems to have captured all of Hakyeon’s attention with his easy and friendly going charm. Jealousy is an ugly virtue but it hits Sanghyuk full swing.

“Hopefully the weather clears up before he has to leave” Sanghyuk says out loud without truly meaning it.

-

02

"Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s Sunday and Sanghyuk chooses to stay behind at the farm. He intends on spending the day in bed, wallowing in self pity. Now that Hakyeon has company of someone he likes, it feels stupid to continue meeting him at the farmer’s market and giving him flowers.

In hindsight, it sounds like an absolutely stupid plan and Sanghyuk is embarrassed by his past self. Who would think that flowers are a good indication of affection in this day and age? For all he knows, Hakyeon probably thinks flowers aren’t even that significant to him since he grew up on the farm.

Sanghyuk rolls around on his bed and lets more mortifying scenarios pop up in his head. It’s acutely painful and Sanghyuk thinks romance is just not worth it and he should wash his hands off it before he does any more damage to his dignity.

His phone chimes when he receives a message from Jaehwan asking him where he is and why he isn’t at the market downtown. Sanghyuk racks his brains for a plausible excuse and settles for being needed to help his mother at the farm. The sunflowers need to be harvested and he really should lend her a helping hand and he resolves to do so once Jaehwan replies.

Perhaps he should have immediately left his phone behind because Jaehwan messages him to say that Hakyeon missed him and Sanghyuk almost cries in frustration at his own feelings.

-

"I know what you are doing, you know" Jaehwan says, using a clipper to snip at the thorns of the rose in his hand.

"What am I doing?" Sanghyuk asks, focusing on the task at hand instead of focusing on Jaehwan.

It's the starting of September and these will be the last batches of roses to bloom on the farm. His father puts him to work on removing the thorns from the flowers before they can be sold to the town florists. It's time consuming work but it is perfect to avoid your thoughts and Sanghyuk agrees to do it.

That is, till Jaehwan shows up.

Jaehwan is a persistent man (and a good friend for checking in on him). Sanghyuk doesn't like to admit it but he has been moping ever since he returned from dinner at Taekwoon's house. He doesn't think he was that obvious but here Jaehwan is, sitting in his greenhouse and dethorning roses and looking at him knowingly.

Jaehwan's scrutiny makes him feel foolish and silly and Sanghyuk decides not to look his way.  Jaehwan isn't deterred by this. Sanghyuk doesn’t hold a candle to the flame that is Taekwoon avoiding talking about feelings.

"You're being foolish" he says plainly. The sky is blue, the wind is chilly today and Sanghyuk is being foolish. All three sentences can be expressed to the same effect in Jaehwan's tone. Sanghyuk splutters and snips a leaf off by accident. The leaf falls to the ground, its existence mocking his lack of subtlety.

"You should be glad Hakyeon is here with you and not cities away, too busy or too tired to talk some days" Jaehwan says bitterly.

"I know…" Sanghyuk starts. He sympathizes with Jaehwan. He doesn't know Wonshik but he must be a wonderful man to have Jaehwan so devoted to him even when there are miles between them. But he doesn't have the assurances for his affection that Jaehwan has from Wonshik.

"I don't think… I don't think he likes me the same way I like him" Sanghyuk admits. The words hurt and he busies himself with sorting through the bundles of flowers and arranging them into neat bouquets.

"You couldn't be further from the truth" Jaehwan scoffs. "Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes can tell Hakyeon likes you."

"Maybe he used to but-" Sanghyuk cuts off. If Jaehwan doesn't know about Hakyeon's actual object of affection then it is not his place to tell him. To be honest the idea of Hakyeon liking him, even if it is once upon a time is quite incredulous.

"But?" Jaehwan prompts.

"Nothing" Sanghyuk lies. He sighs and lets his shoulders drop. It really is starting to get colder. Amboise doesn't have cold winters but Sanghyuk wonders if this season just reflects the heartbreak he feels.

“Well, he likes you and you like him and you are being stupid by not asking him out when you can” Jaehwan says and Sanghyuk sighs.

-

Sanghyuk doesn't plan on hiding forever. The town is small and he will eventually run into Hakyeon. If not at the farmer's market then at the small movie theatre by 2nd Street that Hakyeon frequents whenever there is a new movie released or at the amphitheatre in the Town Square where the travelling troupe performs when they are in town. Hakyeon really loves plays and you can see his eyes lighting up when he watches performers deliver unrealistically dramatic lines.

Sanghyuk knows that running into Hakyeon is inevitable. But he doesn't expect to run into him at the delicatessen because it is so far from the area Hakyeon lives in. (A part of Sanghyuk wonders if he pays too much attention to Hakyeon or if it is normal to know so much about a person after knowing them for so long.)

"Hi" Hakyeon says, as surprised as Sanghyuk feels.

"Hey" Sanghyuk says, pushing his hands into his pockets. Blunt ending to a long lasting crush or not, it still is a pleasure to see Hakyeon. It's cold enough for him to start wearing thin sweaters and he smells of earthy spices and his favourite wood scented perfume.

"Haven't seen you in a long time" Hakyeon says, paying for his order and putting the wrapped meats away in the basket he is carrying.

"End of summer harvests usually means a lot of work at the farm" Sanghyuk tells him. Hakyeon steps back to let him order but hangs close by, unwilling to end the serendipitous meeting first.

"Well, if you are free this Wednesday then we were thinking of a small wine tasting outing to the vineyards in Bordeaux. Nothing fancy" Hakyeon tells him.

"So no dressing up in suit and ties with Taekwoon quoting great dead French poets of the past?" Sanghyuk asks teasingly.

"I'm afraid not" Hakyeon laughs. "Hongbin is going back home by the Sunday train. We wanted to take him there before he goes there because he doesn't know when he will return."

"A shame" Sanghyuk says. His order is ready and he pays for it. This is a perfect cue to escape this conversation. Sanghyuk isn't inclined to be the third wheel to a getaway where his crush can be stolen from him. But he makes the mistake to linger because he has missed Hakyeon too much to cut him off.

"Taekwoon and Jaehwan are clearly distraught. But what do you say? Would you like to come along?" Hakyeon asks hopefully.

Sanghyuk has never been able to say no to his doe like eyes.

-

03

“The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks.”

― Tennessee Williams

"I'm glad you decided to come along" Jaehwan says as Sanghyuk helps him load their luggage into the car trunk.

The trip is short and the company settles on using Jaehwan's convertible for the trip. The amount of bags makes Sanghyuk question their decision but Jaehwan insists that his baby can make the trip and so he defers to his judgement.

"Are you going to go to Paris with Hongbin on Sunday?" Sanghyuk asks Jaehwan.

"No. But I am leaving on Sunday too. I am going to Manchester to meet my father. Business stuff" Jaehwan says. Sanghyuk doesn't know what exactly Jaehwan does but he knows his father works in the fast fashion business and assumes it must be something related to that.

"How long are you traveling for this time?" Sanghyuk asks, making idle conversation while they wait for others to show up.

"A few months. I think I'll be back in spring next" Jaehwan says, counting and estimating in his head.

"On the plus side, you will be with your family for Christmas," Sanghyuk points out. Jaehwan smiles and Sanghyuk is glad. He thinks he will miss Jaehwan and finds that he genuinely means it.

"Can’t say that will be a blessing. I guess it's time to go" Jaehwan says, watching as Hakyeon and Hongbin emerge from the house followed by Taekwoon who locks the door behind him. The two laugh at something while Taekwoon indignantly protests. Hakyeon puts his hand around Hongbin's waist and Sanghyuk looks away wondering if he has made a mistake agreeing to this outing.

-

“I don’t know why we travelled all the way to Bordeaux when we live right next to Loire Valley” Sanghyuk confesses as they unpack their luggage in the shared room. The group stops at a motel for the night. The two cities are not far by road but no one wants to drive for hours after a long day and in the middle of the night.

“We travelled because Taekwoon believes Bordeaux red wines are the best when clearly Samour sparkling wines are superior but then Taekwoon just said I had cheap taste buds” Jaehwan scoffed. He flopped around on his side of the bed before pouting and burying his head in the pillows.

“So you basically agreed to travel here to prove a point to Taekwoon” Sanghyuk says, amused at the elder’s antics.

“Would have snuck in a bottle of bubbly too if it wasn’t ‘in bad taste’ and ‘not allowed Jaehwan’” Jaehwan says, imitating Taekwoon’s disapproving voice and adding air quotes for emphasis. Sanghyuk laughs and Jaehwan continues his impressions, happy that he has an audience in a person who isn’t clearly protective of his brother.

Their reverie is interrupted when Jaehwan gets a call from Wonshik and Hakyeon steps out of the shower, announcing it is free for whoever wants to use it next. Jaehwan steps out into the balcony to answer it and Sanghyuk looks to Hakyeon who simply has a towel wrapped around his waist. His features are softer than what Sanghyuk imagined and Sanghyuk commits those lines and curves to memory.

“You’ll catch a cold like that” he says when Hakyeon catches him staring. Hakyeon blushes and pulls a t-shirt over his head. Sanghyuk looks away and gives him the privacy to get dressed. His cheeks have a matching flustered shade of pink and he focuses on picking at the frills of the pillow instead of looking at Hakyeon.

The bed dips and Hakyeon sits next to him. The two of them look at the balcony where they can see Jaehwan smiling as he talks, parts of his conversation reaching them through the open window and the dusk frames his visage. The sky visible above the neighbouring buildings is already blue. The sun is setting and Sanghyuk feels the night wash over. Next to him, Hakyeon is warm and smells of berry scented shampoo. Their shoulders brush and knees touch. Hakyeon doesn’t move away so Sanghyuk stays too.

“We have some time before the wine tasting” Hakyeon says.

“We do” Sanghyuk agrees.

Hakyeon puts his head down on Sanghyuk’s shoulder and the younger tenses up. “Wake me up when we need to leave” he says, closing his eyes and resting against Sanghyuk. His frame is sturdy and his body is all muscle and broad shoulders after working on the farm for years. It feels warm and safe. Hakyeon’s own skin is cooler after the shower and the contrast feels pleasant.

“Okay” Sanghyuk agrees. Hakeon feels him relax and hunch a bit so he can rest properly. He puts an arm around Hakyeon and Hakyeon places a hand on his thigh and slowly falls asleep the way blooming flowers close at the end of day.

-

04

"Autumn leaves don't fall, they fly. They take their time and wander on this their only chance to soar."

- Delia Owens

As predicted, Taekwoon and Jaehwan argue the moment the sommelier withdraws after pouring the first round of wines. Hakyeon shushes them to get them to behave the two huff petulantly. Hongbin looks at Sanghyuk and the two try not to laugh too hard. Taekwoon and Jaehwan restrain themselves till the third wine is served and then break into barbs and jibes at the other’s taste with no hope of reconciliations any moment in the near future.

“Are they always like this?” Sanghyuk asks Hongbin as Hakyeon sighs and drags them away from the high table to a more peaceful corner where they won’t disturb their fellow diners.

“Hakyeon tells me that Taekwoon is only this lively around Jaehwan. I am inclined to believe him” Hongbin says.

“You and Hakyeon seem close,” Sanghyuk casually comments. He shouldn’t be petty but he is and slightly jealous too. But Hongbin doesn’t notice the bite in his voice.

“Hakyeon is like an older brother to me now. We get along better than I thought we would but Hakyeon is just so friendly you know?” Hongbin tells him.

“A brother?” Sanghyuk asks in surprise.

“Trust me, I was surprised too” Hongbin agrees. “I don’t make friends this easily. But then again I don’t normally travel to far away towns with people I have only known for a few days or fall in love with someone I just met.”

“In love… with someone you just met? Taekwoon?” Sanghyuk asks, multiple pieces of the puzzle clicking into place together in his head.

This explains the odd glances and the way Hongbin and Taekwoon always gravitate to each other when Taekwoon is normally so reserved. All of a sudden, Sanghyuk feels foolish for not knowing this sooner because it has always been in front of him as plain as day.

“Yeah” Hongbin confirms, glancing over at his lover who stands to the side with his hands folded and glaring at Hakyeon and Jaehwan who are in a deep discussion about something else. Hongbin walks over and rescues Taekwoon from the conversation that will have no end and Taekwoon puts his hand around Hongbin. Sanghyuk feels very silly indeed.

“Between the two of them, I am going to age faster than I should” Hakyeon says when he comes over to talk to Sanghyuk. “I swear I have a few grey hairs already.”

“I think they would suit you” Sanghyuk says. The realization that Hakyeon does not like Hongbin because Hongbin likes Taekwoon gives him a rush of bravery that no wine can. The merlot is potent but the intoxication of affection is deadlier.

“Grey hairs?” Hakyeon asks, amused at Sanghyuk’s declaration.

“I think you’d still be pretty after aging for many years” Sanghyuk tells him.

The sincerity of the statement makes Hakyeon blush. He seems to be doing that a lot around him. Crush or no crush, Hakyeon thinks Sanghyuk will be terrible for him. The indulgence and affection will spoil him beyond measure. If only Hakyeon has the courage to reach for what he wants.

“Ah well, it’s only till Sunday I guess. Then it will just be me and Taekwoon again” Hakyeon says ruefully.

“I’ll miss both of them” Sanghyuk says. This time he means it genuinely. Hakyeon hums in agreement and the two of them sip on their wine in a companionable silence.

“If you ever feel alone at the manor, you can come down to the farm sometimes. There’s always people working on something or the other and the sights from the fields are pretty” Sanghyuk offers. “Jaehwan comes over all the time now. We always have room for one more if you want company.”

-

Sanghyuk sees Hakyeon next in October, two weeks after their trip to Bordeaux. The homogeneously green trees give way to a mix of brown, orange, yellow and green and the summer rains give way to clear blue skies where the white clouds float, content to just exist and drift.

Sanghyuk waits for Hakyeon, this time carrying a bouquet of roses. It’s a surprise batch of late bloomers and his mother allows him to take a few. It’s too cold for roses but the sun shines bright on some days and the flowers thrive and Sanghyuk thinks that this is reflective of his own feelings for Hakyeon. He’ll never verbally admit to Hakyeon, but he can’t think of any alternative except to give them to him.

“You have roses!” Hakyeon exclaims in happiness when he walks up to Sanghyuk. His arms are full with his purchases and Sanghyuk takes a few bags from him so he can hold the flowers.

“Late bloomers” Sanghyuk tells him by way of an explanation.

“Still very pretty” Hakyeon says. The roses aren’t red and this isn’t a tacky love confession but he finds the light pink colour pretty and any gift from Sanghyuk is a gift he will treasure.

The two walk down to the parking lot and Sanghyuk helps Hakyeon put things away. Hakyeon holds onto the flowers, insisting that they are too pretty to part with. Sanghyuk loiters and they make idle talk about the weather and the townsfolk they know and how the winter this year seems colder than the previous year. When they run out of topics to talk about, they talk about more trivial things till Sanghyuk looks at his watch and realizes he must go back to help his family.

“I also have tickets to a play by the travelling troupe you love” Sanghyuk says, shuffling his feet like an awkward child. “If you’d like to go with me.”

“I don’t think I would like anything more” Hakyeon declares. He smiles and Sanghyuk thinks he looks prettier than the flowers he is holding. In fact, Hakyeon’s smile might be the prettiest thing in the universe. A sign of the spring of the heart in the midst of the somber autumn all around that seems to gain colour as the old leaves softly drift through the wind.

-x-

[vminity21]

Amber | jhs

Pairing: barista!Hoseok x nurse!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Genre: fluff, soft, aesthetic

Summary: When a local coffee barista catches your eye, it’s hard to let it go, especially when he turns up in your dreams, causing you to wonder if there will ever be a chance in getting to know him. 

There’s a distinct familiarity in the air, one of flawless breezes and thrilly jingles from a bell hung upon the door to your favorite coffee shop that is nestled downtown in the center of your city. The strong aroma of freshly brewed liquid warms you just enough to where your arms wrap around your frame- the loose hems of your cashmere sweater cuddle the majority of your palms while the sensation of your purse settles along your thigh. It’s been a while since you’ve been here, and with the usual crave of your preferred drink, it’s only fitting, especially with the way the deep shades of red mingle with dim, orange hues which enlighten the reminder that autumn has finally arrived. 

Glittery leaves decorate the railings within the building matching the colors of the signs promoting the return of the infamous pumpkin spice latte- one you have tried many times, yet you can’t seem to completely veer away from your steaming mug of lemon tea. It’s always been made at its best, and it serves the swarming memories of long nights after work when your relative would fix you a cup every night to help calm you after an eventful day of securing medicine at a nursing home.

Raking cold fingers through your hair, you take your place in line, nearing the counter before the frilly, brown tendrils of a male seem to catch you by surprise. His pink lips are already settled into a grin while he takes the card payment from the person in front of you embellishing small dimples that add to the glimmering brown in his almond eyes. Your heart seems to react almost immediately prompting heat to rush to your rosy cheeks sparking small shivers to curse your fingertips. 

His digits tap at the keys rapidly before his eyes greet yours with the same kind smile he shares to others, “Good morning, what can I get for you today?”

You’re too stunned for words to form fast enough, stuttering the order you usually never struggle to say, “I- erm, lemon tea, please. For here,” your eyes instinctively fall to your fumbling hands unzipping your bag in goal of grabbing your wallet. Once cash is gripped between your quivering fingers, your timorous stare catches the bold letters adorning his nametag before feeling the swift brush of his touch gathering the change from you.  

“Coming right up!” 

The incredible amount of consciousness it takes to not trip over your feet on the tread to find a table baffles you prompting a quiet giggle to yourself, yet the budding attraction to the employee doesn’t disappear in an instant. Rather, you suppress the thought just enough to focus on the skidding chair before comfortably settling in the favored corner adjacent to the large window revealing a pleasant blanket of gray clouds hovering the evidence of rain. Something about panging droplets upon a roof has always brought serenity in times you’ve needed it most; days can seem shorter especially when dealing with humanity, and since today happens to be a rare day off- you will enjoy every minute if possible.

Hands now folded beneath your chin, you get lost in the view outside- sauntering pedestrians preparing their umbrellas with the occasional swaying maple leaves captured by the wind to press their stems along the cement before being retaken to fly elsewhere. And let’s not forget the extra fabric swaddling frames now with the expectation of the weather cooling- nothing seems to beat your favorite season- the quiet facade it brings to your soul, or the assemblage of colors that define the entire fall as a whole. 

The distraction is nearly exhilarating that you jump almost immediately when a tall shadow enters your peripherals, “Your lemon tea, ma’am.” He must not have caught your wide-eyed gaze for the gentle clink of the plate holding the steaming mug of your order now rests before you.

“Th-thank you, Sir,” peaking at his name tag once again, you grin up at him, “Hoseok,” he bows at your words, smiling from ear to ear just to flash a beautiful set of teeth, his hair slightly falling into his eyes, and here you are swearing inwardly that he is the most beautiful encounter you have ever witnessed. Though frequenting this place, you have never seen him until now, which sparks the question on whether he is new to solely the store, or to this town in general. Hoseok returns to the registers faster than you realize, eyes still lingering just for you to avert your gape to your tea- curling your fingers around the glass to warm them. 

You’re a quarter of the way finished with your drink when you lose track of time, sighing softly, you wonder what your friend Sofia and her boyfriend, Taehyung have been up to as of late, wishing you could free more time enough to visit. Last you heard, Taehyung proposed, and Sofia has been planning their big day ever since. You don’t expect it, the dispersing of your thoughts when you notice the uniformed individual that has gained your attention the minute you stepped into this building, to swiftly move to a spot far enough away to where you can safely observe him. 

His stare remains glued to his phone, a jacket folded over his arm- he seems highly concentrated on whoever he’s texting, yet all you can do is focus on how handsome he is. You want to speak to him considering the possibility he may be on break, but piling enough courage to do so is a tad intimidating, and you are definitely unaware by the length of time your gaze has remained on Hoseok, that he glimpses above his phone screen, your heart skipping from being caught just to drop your lids to the now empty mug cradled in your hands. GAH, the scold your brain is rampaging is enough to make you want to wince, telling yourself numerously that you need to be more careful.

The travel home seems faster than usual, but with the greeting of Bram, your Jack Russell mix, you’re very grateful to make it to your house. He pants excitingly while his paws swipe your knees with each jump. “Hello, my sweetheart,” you coo, rubbing along his fluffy fur where a black spot covers the majority of his back. Your dog is your everything, so the joy of cuddling him close the rest of the evening until you slip into slumber is always your favorite end to a rainy night. 

Pat, pat, pat. Darkness loses to the fluttering of your eyelids now being gifted with the essence of the season you’ve been dreaming about. Pat, pat, pat. A droplet here and there heightens your auditory senses while you remain halted in place; bare feet press along the cold pavement that has been freshly rained upon placing myriads of glued leaves on almost every inch of the road. Rows of long trunks host autumn hues that rustle lightly from the chilly wind now drifting past your shoulders where feather touches of your hair barely tickle. 

You’re uncertain of why everything seems blurry as though it’s not real, yet the excitement of such an ideal setting is enough to start the promenading of the street- pouncing in the air with the clack of your ankles, squeals of glee escaping whilst you twirl- the deep shade of your maroon dress flowing from the movement, blending in with the surroundings. Lost in a world of utter peace, there are no rules here other than happiness, and that’s a world you’ve always longed for. 

Reaching a curve, the joyful tune brewing from your lips softens the very second your stare lands upon a silhouette in the distance. The figure isn’t facing you, but you notice enough to realize he’s alone- brown strands hidden within a faded orange beanie, he’s nestled upon the grass with crossed legs, hands placed before him that appear to be fiddling with something, but at the angle, you are standing, all you can gather other than his presence are items clearing to be a journal and a pen resting by his side.

Curiosity consumes you enough to proceed forward, tiptoeing nearer to figure if he might be someone you have seen before, but one thing you did not anticipate is the sudden crunch of the leaves- ones that must have freshly fallen from the side of the trees that have not been kissed by the rain startling you producing a sudden gasp- widening eyes lifting to reveal the turn of his face-

“Sh- !” Sitting up immediately in your bed, perspiration lingering the lining of your hair- the hyped beat of your heart pounds into your temples before you brush the loosened streaks from your vision; Bram instinctively pounces to lick your face in desperation to calm you, curling onto your lap the second your hand gently smooths among the top of his head. It’s been a week since you’ve been to the coffee shop, and though everything was merely a dream, you can’t help the doting incentive that the person who arrived happens to be the same individual you can’t seem to easily forget about. It’s strange to you, but there’s just something about him, and before you know it, as soon as your shift ends for the day, you find yourself entering the store in hopes that the employee of your dreams, you inwardly tease, is awaiting to serve you another request of your favorite drink. To your delight, he is working, and to add to your giddiness, the place is fairly empty meaning no lines for you to wait in. 

“Hello, how are you today?” Hoseok’s hands wrap around the sides of the register- his smile captivating you as it did last time to the point that timidness takes over- the blush in your cheeks revealing itself as soon as you reach the counter. 

“Work,” 

“Oh,” he giggles, although, your response was mouthed before you could have stopped yourself and you wince at how you may have sounded considering he’s currently in the process of working himself. 

“I’m sorry, I meant, I-”

“Well, in that case, how about some lemon tea? If I’m correct?” 

You’re stunned by how well his memory must be, and the way his eyes squint in concentration in hopes that he’s right melts your heart,  “Ye-yes, for here,” 

“Alright,” he chuckles, punching in the order, “Coming right up. My treat,” 

“Wait what? No, no, you don’t have to do that-” 

“I understand how tough it can be,” he raises his hands as if in defense, “It’s my treat, remind me of your name?” He arches an eyebrow when he presses his lips together.

“[Y/N],” you smile, still in awe of the kindness he has surprised you with after such a brutal day of work, “Thank you. Really, thank you,” 

“Anytime,” his voice is tender, and you can hardly express your gratitude though you wonder if its the wrinkled fabric of your scrubs with random decor of stains that gave way of how your day has gone that potentially caused the reason of his gesture. Either way, you’re floored, and when he brings you the lemon tea, you thank him again, the heat of your skin still burning red. 

Pelt, pelt, pelt. Fingers curl to reveal the plush of a blanket laying beneath you while the sun protrudes brightly through the trees. The careful turn of your head discovers the encompassing of plump pumpkins-  perfumes of apple spice sweep past your nostrils while your vision explores the scenery. Confusion creases at the corner of your eyes, wondering where you must be considering this is a fantasy you have yet to venture. Pelt, pelt, pelt. Droplets of rain spring off your skin sporadically, but not enough to linger for you to remember it exists.

“Hello,” though merely a soft murmur, the unexpected sound jolts you to sit up, a gasp flying from your mouth staring at the apologetic eyes of the man who realizes he has scared you. Relief floods your bones- gaze falling to the journal and pen planted beside him as before. There’s the persistent curiosity revolving around the book, but more so, your stare returns to the oval face of the timorous human now staring at his twiddling hands in shame. 

He doesn’t have to be ashamed, and the desperate aura to prove this to him prompts you into action. You are unaware of how near the proximity to him is when you mirror his stature of crossed legs- your knees pressing to his once the desire to feel his slim fingers between yours forces you to hope that he can’t read your mind. It’s only your imagination, right? It is not like he truly will know of the courage you yearn to live in reality. In substantiality, trust is a process for you- learning another is a task in itself for you- but in slumber, there’s a certain bravery you collect especially when this moment feels so right. 

His lips are parted just as yours are- enlarged-eyed nerves form magic as real as the season living out in this universe. There’s no more waiting- it just happens in the spur of a second where you kiss him, his hands finding their homes on either side of your face, leaning more into you. Rapidly, nature seems to know the cue when leaves swirl in the wind encircling the pair of you in a painted cascade of red, yellow and orange. Your jaw is loved by the slow traces of his fingertips, returning to rest your back upon the blanket where his body aligns with yours, and despite this fiction playing effortlessly in your conscious, you feel his smile against your lips the same as he feels yours. And with that, there’s nothing you want more than this dream to become a truth. 

“You’re not crazy, love,” Sofia promises on the other line of the phone though you have a stubborn notion of not believing her statement, “I think you just have a wee little crush on a certain barista,”  

Currently shuffling to unlock your car, you’re ready to head home from work to check on your dog, hoping he’s kept the house in good shape while you’ve been gone, “But how though? I don’t even know the guy.”

“Distant crushes are real, hun,” 

“I don’t know,” you heave a long sigh, the back of your head resting upon the cushion of the driver’s side, hardly bringing yourself to start your vehicle just yet.

“Have you… Talked to him since the last time?”

“....No.”

“I should have known,” Sofia groans, “You are the most stubborn soul I know, and you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t,” 

“I learn from the best,” you tease, laughter between you and your best friend making the air seem lighter than earlier. 

“That, you do. Be safe and keep me updated. Tell little Bram I love him,”

“Will do,” you pact, thankful to hear her voice. The journey home reminds you of a few trails hidden away in a park behind your house. Maybe over the weekend, you can visit to find an ounce of solitude in nature, otherwise, the plan of a small nap is in your best interest, so the abrupt minute you find, you flip on the tv for some background noise, eventually drifting into the familiar sound of rain beginning another daydream with your sweet Bram cuddled by your side. 

There it is. The familiar corner where you’ve turned in previous times that relives the journey of precise coloration reigniting the joy that sparks the padding of anxious footsteps into the direction of what may be awaiting. The preface of your wonderment is where you are now- you are right at the very start of autumn hues rustling in tall trees aligned accordingly on either side of the paved road glimmering pasted leaves under your heels. A hounding prolepsis of hope gives the concept that someone is indeed here, and you must find him before it’s too late. 

Elation turns into tattered fear of losing to waking in reality, speeding your steps though you feel you are going nowhere. A loss of time can ruin the means of opportunity and when your skipping legs finally reach the curve, you pause- a building smile spreading across your face at the man standing before you. Head cast downward, he’s penning within his journal, fully concentrating on whatever he is writing. Inching closer, he closes the journal- a thin thread of a golden bookmark keeps a tab on where he last written. His tender gaze holds yours for what feels like forever until he turns his journal to you flashing a loving grin that exuberates permission for you to open to the page he’s left for you. 

Uncertainty of hesitation only shows in the flicker of your eyes studying his heart that he’s wearing on his sleeve. Gradually, you grab at the end of the bookmark between your fingertips, lifting the first half of the book to unveil a message that brings touched tears to your eyes. 

Scribbled in the center of the page in artistically drawn bold letters are the words you have longed for, but never knew you needed,

‘You’re my favorite part of every season’

It’s been a month since you’ve seen him; a month since you’ve had the dreams; and a month since you’ve been able to enjoy the soothing taste of a tepid cup of lemon tea. Carried away by the hours of your job, it has been difficult to provide any time for yourself- leading your brain to the point of forgetting about the interests you’ve once had prior. The trails have been calling your name consistently to the point you find the will to go, zipping your coat to then huddling your hands within the pockets. Twenty minutes pass until the breaking of the path comes into view, and out of a habit, you hum a random tune to the chilly breeze, swaying your shoulders until the leap of your heart stops you in your tracks.

A beanie- faded to match the season, yet this time he’s not looking down, he’s staring out into the trees where birds sing in unison with chirping crickets, and to your rigid frame, your eyes scan the spot where you always found them: a journal and pen rested by his side as they always have. You cannot speak, for whatever is happening before you is real, and you attempt to decipher the possibility of this being just that: real. You want to run, but why cower when the chance is right there within your reach?  

Hoseok hears your steps that you do not comprehend that you’re making, yet you don’t stop; a smile exists on your lips shining from your eyes that meet his that beam recognition,

“Hey there!” He stands from the blanket he’s been sitting on, smiling from ear to ear while offering his hand to shake yours, “It’s been a long time!”

You’re flattered by his noticing of your vacancy, and at the feel of his large hand enveloping yours, you briefly shake it, still shocked by the event screening in front of you, “Hello to you! I didn’t know you came here?”

“As often as I can,” he nods, turning his head to absorb the atmosphere around him, “It’s quite comforting,” 

“That, it is,” you agree, gape dropping to your shoes, “It’s my favorite place to go this time of year,” 

“I’d have to say it’s the same for me, too,” an awkward silence seems like an eternity when it only lasts for about five seconds leading to the clearing of Hoseok’s throat, “How have you been? We miss seeing you at the shop,” 

“I’ve been well, I hope you are,” you giggle, gesturing toward the blanket spread upon the grass, “Is it okay if I join you?” 

“Of course you can!” His voice sounds so happy. Happiness that lifts the hope you now have embraced. Hoseok politely reaches for your hand to help you sit down, each of you crossing your legs to get comfortable to notice his fingertips have yet to leave yours. At first, the nervous tension of question shows on his face when he finally makes the connection, yet you nod the okay, sliding your palm to mold with his. Neither of you let go, and maybe you have not been the only one shaken by his countenance, for his heart is thrumming in equal pace as yours. As the hours pass by, you find yourself nestled into his side where he rests his cheek upon your head, watching the leaves of the season fall into place just as this moment: the start of a dream come true. 

- Thank you for the request @taeandpuppies​ ! I hope you and your friend enjoy this! -

[nighttime-daydreams]

Musical Key Characteristics Explained

As someone with perfect pitch and synesthesia, when I listen to a song in a certain key, it reminds me of certain vibes and aesthetics, making some keys fit my surroundings more depending on what they are. Each set of Majors and Minors has a month to it as well.

.

A Major: Bittersweet and romantic. Very Springlike, like a meadow in May, and also a somewhat Oceany key, like a sea breeze.

F# Minor: This key evokes imagery of bright white lights in large empty rooms at night, it’s futuristic and imposing and it has a very sterile and clean energy to it.

.

Bb Major: Very brown, streetlamps through heavy snowfall in January. The comforting quiet and familiarity of a hometown.

G Minor: Cold and dark nights, a competitive key, but also full of anger and malice at times.

.

B Major: Key of the morning, of a multicolored sunrise over the mountains and waking up feeling well rested to hear the birds.

G# Minor: This key is almost entirely gray. The sun tries to poke through an overcast sky in the aftermath of a February blizzard, snowdrifts still blowing, but it’s light only faintly reaches the ground.

.

C Major: Pure childhood innocence and warmth, very kindhearted and simple like the park on a warm September afternoon.

A Minor: Another morning key, this has an urban feel to it and sounds kind of old-fashioned.

.

C# Major: Naturey, like a damp April forest on a mountain, clearing to reveal a pristine lake.

Bb Minor: A very troubled key. It is the key of someone who has been wounded emotionally or physically in the past, and it has damaged his mind and left him near hopeless. He does however still have a faint fire in his heart that keeps him going.

.

D Major: Key of the summer, traveling the open road, triumph, and wild, unbridled love. This key can cheer anyone up.

B Minor: An old farmer sits on his porch on a scorching July day, watching the dark gray clouds of an approaching storm draw closer and closer. It is also tropical, and gives imagery of a blinding sun and palm trees at an almost magical resort poolside, with all the people you met and never saw again on vacations swimming in it.

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Eb Major: This is the key of heroes and leaders. It is triumphant but honorable. It evokes the feeling of finally completing a goal after a very long time. It exhibits loyalty and stoicism better than any other key. It is also the key of the night sky, and all the faded stars and galaxies you can see on the perfect stargazing night.

C Minor: This key has a very dark mind, but a kind heart deep down. Very intelligent but troubled. It reminds me of a chilly November morning, as cold winds rustle barren trees under an overcast sky in a little town with gothic architecture.

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E Major: Pure happiness and joy, the brightest and most magnificent key. It has many forms; A tropical paradise under the moonlight, a beautiful green Aurora over a snow-covered tundra, the greenest field under the bluest sky.

C# Minor: A snowstorm on a December afternoon when the sun has already set, turning the cloudy sky as well as all the snow a deep dusky blue. Street lights and city lights are present, illuminating the landscape’s darkness. Strangely, this key is also tropical. It has the futuristic vibe of a pool at night that is lit up blue, even though nobody is swimming in it. Nothing can capture beautiful melancholy quite like C# Minor.

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F Major: The key of autumn, of the red, orange and yellow leaves, and the crisp October chill as you sit inside your cozy home by a fire with a hot drink.

D Minor: This key is haunting, yet beautiful. It reminds me of ghosts and the full moon shining through the trees. It is also hearty, and reminds me of an old mountain man with a huge beard eating beef stew inside his log cabin, waiting out the night while the wolves howl outside.

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F# Major: This key is vibrant and comforting. It smells like flowers and has sort of a radiant aura, like a neon sign in the rain, or a pink fluorescent light.

Eb Minor: On a cold and rainy March night, a nondescript man eats ramen noodles at a restaurant on the 20th floor of a Tokyo skyscraper, watching the water droplets on the window and looking down on the city below, noticing each pedestrian, imagining what each of their lives and experiences were, and how many different lives he has witnessed in that very moment, never to interact with or see again.

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G Major: This is the key of fun with friends, relaxing, and feel-good moments. It’s June, school has just been let out for the summer and it’s time to hit the beach.

E Minor: Cloudy but warm day in a city, feelings of grandiosity, can be brash and flashy at times. When the moon comes out, though, this key brings feelings of exasperated shame or guilt, of a good man seen as evil by the world because of a deed in his past that they didn’t fully understand.

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G# Major: A fancy banquet. All the nobles have attended in the heaviest clothing, despite it being an unbearably humid August day. They toast their drinks and sing old melodies that have been passed down for generations by each esteemed family.

F Minor: This key is caught in a terrible storm. Black thunderclouds and pouring rain are all around while the wind picks up in intensity. Through it all, this key actually finds comfort in this weather and embraces the storm.

.

4/13/19

[outdamnedspot]

Burning Light

Wrote it at three in the morning and decided to dump it here. Angsty as fuck and I cried writing the last bit. You know when you hate half of a ship but it’s undeniable how they like each other? And they just??? Crawl into your head and you can’t get rid of the feels?????!!!??

That’s when I decided to make myself miserable and invite y’all for the ride

Rika was his sun. His goddess, his warmth, the light in his eyes. She gave him life.

It was only fair she was the one to take it away from him.

If you be my star I’ll be your sky You can hide underneath me and come out at night When I turn jet black And you show off your light I live to let you shine I live to let you shine

V’s photographs are beautiful, they said. Jihyun smiled, humble and diligent, finding it amazing that people just couldn’t see what was so clear to him. Yes, his photographs are beautiful. They had to be, bathing in the light of Rika’s smile.

One cannot see without light; the world’s beauty bloomed to life under Rika’s presence and all he had to do was capture this moment. Every photograph he ever took was for Rika, because of Rika. She was the very sun, the vortex of a universe held together by the sound of her voice and she kept him orbitating endlessly around her.

People were naturally drawn to her, to her light, her joy – and they spun around her in awe, enamored. Ancient civilizations worshipped natural deities, and Jihyun felt an eerie sympathy for them for he, too, worshiped the sun.

V’s photographs are beautiful, they said, but Jumin was but the moon reflecting someone else’s light.

You, without sin, are like the sun You, even with sin, are like the sun

An apology, and a beaming thank you shortly after. Rika’s hands were always cold, no matter how hard she rubbed them. Cold hands, warm heart, they say, and they don’t know half of it. Jihyun often tried to help by taking her small hands in his and warming them with his breath.

The blush on her cheeks was the most adorable sight. Then she would mutter something about him being too kind and Jihyun wouldn’t be able to hear to half of it over the furious beat of his own heart.

The feel of her hands on his skin was ingrained on the memory his body. The muscles on his back tensed at her touch as Jihyun himself melted away, unable to resist Rika’s warmth.

Because aside from her hands, everything else was searing hot. When he first kissed her, he thought his cells were combusting and he would find his death right there, on her lips. It was like the biggest gulp on a bottle of cognac, burning his throat and setting his chest on fire. It was intoxicating, and he felt so high he could reach the stars with his fingertips.

Lying by her side, their hearts pressed close as he held her, it was like basking in a bonfire in a chilly autumn night. His body seemed to feed on her glow, and every sleepless night they shared, Jihyun cherished as his last one.

Somehow, his soul knew it had found its end on that lithe form that he adored so much. Every time he kissed Rika he felt like he could die, just like the very first time – and it didn’t make him sad in the least.

Never regret thy fall, O Icarus of the fearless flight For the greatest tragedy of them all Is never to feel the burning light

He had vowed to give Rika his all and he would follow through with this compromise. She owned his soul, for its devotion to her was his raison d’être. She was the one who owned his mind, for everything he ever did was for her. She was his first thought as he opened his eyes every morning, and the reason he fell asleep with a smile on his lips at night. More often than not she followed him into the dream realm, if only to assert her absolute control over him.

She owned his body, so he would welcome the blindness she gave him willfully, just like the scratches on his back and the bruises on his neck.

My dear, find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weight you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and devour your remains. For all thing will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Rika shone the brightest then, a blinding light threatening to swallow everything around her.

She was a supernova and the universe was crumbling at her feet.

Jihyun marveled at the fact that he was not afraid, but thankful to every lucky star for sharing a piece of his life with the one thing he loved the most.

Now she would finally have his all, and his heart would go back to its righteous place by her side.

Rika gave him life, and now she would give him death, and Jihyun would welcome the latter as willingly as he did the former.

As Saeran’s fingers pulled the trigger, he prayed to God that he could still assist and protect Rika from afar. Her scream made his ears and his heart bleed, and, despite his best judgement, he almost wished he could stay a little longer.

Fear not, he wanted to say as he cradled her blonde head against his chest as he did uncountable times before. Fear not, for I am only returning to the place I belong.

One would never be complete without the other, but just as he waited his whole life to meet her, he would wait ‘till the ends of time to have her again. Her soul was a requiem for his own and he knew that it was not a goodbye so much as a setback.

Still, he would wait for her and for the moment they could be one again, at last. Until then he would love and adore her, making sure to prepare everything for his sun to return.

The bud of our love will swell up during the summer wind, and blossom into a beautiful flower next time we meet.

Fun fact: I don't like Rika. Fact literally everyone could see coming from a mile away: I love V so much that I couldn't cope with my feels and this is what we have.

the excerpts thrown around are (obviously for I can't write poetry for shit) mine. the beautiful souls who wrote them are: Gregory and the Hawk (song is Boats and Birds); Tite Kubo (Bleach vol 60); Oscar Wilde and Charles Bukowsky. I got the one in the end from V's wikia as I tried to calm myself down -- spoiler, it didn't work.

I was crying when I finished writing it, and my only hope is that I managed to convey how I think V feels about Rika.

[chloeandgregoztravels]

Living in Sydney for the last seven months has given us a chance to go on a few mini adventures, but since I haven’t updated the blog individually I’m going to back track!

Our first adventure was a day trip to Gledhill Falls and Palm Beach with our least favourite people Jo and Spencer, just kidding guys you’re the best haha. We found this waterfall on concreteplayground.com as one of the best waterfalls you can swim in near Sydney, after living there all through summer we realised our hot summer days were numbered. Greg made a makeshift handle to an existing rope swing that snapped mid jump and dunked him, definitely a fail. We chuckled at a small boy getting ready to leave with his family, he went through the whole process of drying his feet off, putting his socks on, then his shoes, before he realised that he was sitting on a rock surrounded by water in every direction haha, definitely something Greg would have done as a child! We jumped off rocks into the murky water but we couldn’t believe it when other people started leaping right off a 5 metre cliff of into the pool, it wasn’t that deep in places and was too dangerous for us!

After drying off and having some lunch we headed over to Palm Beach and wandered along the beach before heading up to the Barrenjoey Lighthouse for the impressive view (It’s the lighthouse in the intro credits to ‘Home and Away’ if anyone watches that) I would definitely recommend a visit as it is very photogenic but quite a climb and you have to get lucky with parking.

Our next trip was out to the blue mountains, about 3 hours west of Sydney, we visited there last year for a day so we wanted a chance to test out the car before our east coast trip and see more of the mountains.

We left straight after work and camped near the road side at Bulls Camp Reserve, thank God for the ‘wiki camps’ app as it was a great spot with toilets but was full of people! After a good nights rest we drove the rest of the way to the visitors centre in Blackheath and stopped at all of the stunning lookouts along the way. For our first walk we chose the Grand Canyon track (advised by the visitor centre) a path that took us down the steep sides of the hills, through a river valley and back up. We were super lucky with the weather, a little chilly but bright, blue skies painted with clouds made for epic photos, even though we had seen the range before it’s still amazing to see how the green trees change to blue in the distance. We learnt last year how the eucalyptus trees emanate the blue hue from evaporated oil droplets that mix with water and dust in the air, causing light to scatter leaving just the blue.

We cooked a quick lunch, where we were joined by a hopeful magpie who tried his luck, before setting off on our walk. We knew the walk was about 3-4 hours and as we often stop for photo’s we expected it to be nearer 4, taking lots of water and some snacks we were on our way. It’s crazy how the temperature alternates from boiling hot when you’re out in the sun to surprisingly cold when you are right down in the rainforest valley. I also hadn’t anticipated quite how many steps there were going down into the rainforest, we constantly thought that we must be the bottom only to turn another corner to more steps down, looking it up now there are over 1200 steps, they aren’t necessarily very steep it was just the sheer amount. (Greg thought back to childhood walks with his mum and her catchphrase of “It’s not far” came to mind, when really it was miles!) The walk was beautiful, from sheer cliff drops to cascading waterfalls and meandering rivers that carved our path. We were very proud of ourselves managing only 3 hours to complete the walk even with lots of photo and snack breaks.

We drove the car up to Sunset Rock, a place I’d found on ‘wiki camps’, but when we arrived at the signposted destination we couldn’t work out where to go. The route to the area feels a bit like walking through someones back garden as there are a few houses dotted around without any real borders, we found the spot just in time and cuddled up to watch the sunset over the mountains. With front row seats on the edge of the rock (not right on the edge mum don’t worry), we had just one other person joining us, a Canadian photographer who (much to Greg’s envy) had brought her drone, we sat and watched as she flew it through the valley. The sky begin to shift from bright blues to green, yellow and red, the photographer (Kaitlyn) approached us and asked if we would be happy for her to take a picture of us! (Because we’re just so cute together) We were of course willing subjects and afterwards learnt that she had just finished travelling New Zealand and had almost finished her travels through Oz, soon to return home. Here’s a link to her incredible work and the photo she kindly took of us, thanks again!

Second night at camp we stayed at Mount York Campground, a pretty long road with various areas to camp in either with tents or in your car. We were pretty jealous of others who had warm fires burning as once the sun had disappeared the cold had set in so we cooked a quick dinner and jumped into bed.

In the morning we headed off early to the Jenolan Caves, there is only one route there from the Blue Mountains, a very windy road that reminded me of the Great Ocean road in Victoria, but instead of the ocean it was rainforest surrounding us. It’s always frustrating trying to accurately capture a steep gradient in a photo because it is just impossible, but believe me when I say you wouldn’t want to crash along those roads. We had sensibly booked our tour because a lot were fully booked all day, we arrived quite early so took the opportunity to go on a short walk up to the Devil’s Coach House Lookout, sadly there had been a landslide from the bad weather and we could only go up a little way. This was when I realised that our rainforest walk had taken it’s toll on my lazy legs and my calves were aching like never before, suffice to say I haven’t been making the most of our gym facilities and ‘leg day’ was about a year ago. Nothing cheered me up like seeing the beautiful view of the Blue Lake and I knew it was going to be a good day.

Our tour to the River Cave was full, 25 people total, but this didn’t detract from the tour at all, we chose one of the hardest walks, of course, another 1298 steps including up two steep metal ladders, leg day again. There were beautiful limestone formations throughout but my favourite part was the stunning Pool of Reflections. It’s amazing to think how these were discovered by people bravely investigating dangerous places using just lamps and a pickaxe, and began to carve out the beginnings of the walkways that are now so spacious and easily accessible to the public.

To finish our day we visited the Blue Lake, the name is hardly imaginative but it really is the bluest lake I’ve ever seen, the natural colour and beauty of this lake comes from the limestone grains in the water that scatter the light giving it the unreal colour.

We couldn’t have been luckier with the weather as we jumped in our car to go on another walk it had started to spit and by the time we reached the road back to Blackheath the heavens had opened, at one point we watched a tree covered in autumnal leaves stripped clean by a gust of wind that I thought may blow the tree over! We called off our last walk and made our way home, luckily we did as the bank holiday traffic was horrendous.

Over the Easter weekend, we decided to make the most of the time off work and drive up to Coffs Harbour, 6 hours north of Sydney. We left on the Thursday night so we could make as much progress with the drive as possible and stopped overnight at a rest stop where it said no camping but nothing about sleeping in the car. I have found Australia to be very contradictory in this respect by telling you to stop if you’re tired, as well as every 2 hours but you can’t sleep in your car overnight.. Ridiculous, I understand if we set up camp for several nights that could be a problem but we never have any plans to do that. Anyway I’m glad we stopped here as when I went to the toilet, I was pleasantly surprised by a note offering me $5 because “God loves you”, there really are some good people in the world. Up bright and early we headed to Coff’s Harbour via a river town off the highway to cook breakfast, I was a little apprehensive of a huge flock of geese eying me up but it turned out they were waiting on an old mate to come and feed them, bless him. The main attraction in Coffs Harbour is the big banana, we hadn’t realised that it’s also an amusement park, it has a banana museum, go-karting, a toboggan, huge slides, an indoor ski slope and a water park! We took the standard tourist photos and treated ourselves to an extortionate frozen chocolate banana before wandering around the gift shop.

We headed over to Park Beach for lunch and a much deserved rest, I couldn’t believe the size of the beach it was awesome, although Sydney beaches are nice I honestly don’t think you can compare them to the stretches of open space like these. We finished our evening hiking over Muttonbird Island and watched the sunset over Coffs Harbour in complete peace as the waves crashed beneath us it couldn’t have been more perfect. We were very lucky to see some Muttonbird fledglings learning to fly, they were so cute and fluffy.

We drove inland into Dorrigo National Park for the night and set up at a camp spot where we took some beautiful photos of the stars, I love being able to stargaze, if the weather is warm enough then I’d like to sleep under them sometime!

With no alarms set, we still woke up reasonably early and drove out to the visitors centre which had a skywalk lookout that turned my legs to jelly, we took a hike for a two hour round trip to Crystal Falls and it was definitely worth going to. The trees along the way were enormous giving us shade under the canopies and the waterfall itself was stunning, nature never ceases to amaze me. Back at the Skywalk we were enticed into buying an ‘English cream tea’ oh dear Australia, you do need a lesson on the difference between a cake and a scone… Disappointed.

Leaving Coffs Harbour we stopped off at The Honey Place in Urunga where we tried a few samples but have yet to find the true delicacy that is chocolate honey (something we’ve had before). They also had a working bee hive between two bits of glass where you could hear them all busy at work.

We finished our day off at Shelly beach in Nambucca Heads watching the sunset and stupidly decided to have our first outdoor shower, it was absolutely freezing and in hindsight we should have done this in the day when it was still sunny!

After a good rest in our car, we arrived at Port Macquarie visitor centre and took the advice of one of the volunteers to take a short walk along the water front where people have been coming for years to paint the rocks. It was so cool to see the different artwork, some families or friends had been making the annual pilgrimage to put their mark upon their rock, and it was nice to see everyone respected them, no graffiti over anyone else’s work.

Port Macquarie is known for its koala hospital which I couldn’t wait to go to, although it was sad to read about their injuries or illnesses it’s always reassuring to know there are volunteers to help them. The main reasons for the koalas being in the hospital were car accidents and diseases like chlamydia but some of the most horrifying injuries were burns victims from the wildfires that so badly affect Australia. The hospital lets visitors see some of their long term residents who will never be able to return to the wild and has an educational room for everyone. One of the koalas was a repeat resident known for harassing the female koalas and kept catching chlamydia, much to his disgust at first he became a permanent resident but apparently is now settled with his routine.

For our last day we made the most of the beautiful beaches and relaxed knowing that we’d be back to the work grind the following day.

One of the crazy things about Australia is of course the wildlife, I still love seeing the huge Goannas that come from the bush when they hear the public BBQs turn on, sadly a lot of people are quite intimidated by them or will ignorantly feed them but to me they are magnificent creatures.

We took a short walk up to Harry’s Lookout where a kookaburra posed for us, it was the closest I’d been to a wild one, he was so cute with his big fluffy head and didn’t seem bothered by us at all. We also took a trip up to Tacking Point lighthouse for a few photos and spotted a para glider at another lookout getting ready to take off so we stayed to watch which was pretty awesome!

We have had a fantastic time in Sydney over the past 7 months and there are a lot of stories that will have to wait for another day. Stay tuned for photos and a video coming soon when I have access to better internet! If you made it this far.. Thank you for reading

Much Love

  Shades of Green and Blue, our adventures in New South Wales Living in Sydney for the last seven months has given us a chance to go on a few mini adventures, but since I haven't updated the blog individually I'm going to back track!