#I totally did not think 'surely we must be at the halfway point with this guy' only to almost start crying at seeing just 2.5 hearts

[flamingdiva]

Me: okay this time I'm going to romance vace and resist the gravitational pull that Dys has on me

Me after reaching no more than 25 friendship points:

[uchihaharlot]

Ok so we had a thought—well several. A simple civilian girl being plowed by Shisui 🫠🫠🫠 @shisuis-left-nipple

How rough it is even when he is being careful.

His body control, stamina, omg!!!

She can’t ask him to go harder because he would hurt her. 😩

This Drabble has to particular direction. We were going back and forth the other day and then this little number was made.

I believe he would be extremely into having someone so innocent be at his complete mercy. It is totally freeing for him, actually. No threat of an assassination or attack, no training or alterior motive, no village or clan politics, just two bodies in the throes of ecstasy. He is not usually one for power games, but somehow being completely and utterly in charge does things to him. I guess Uchiha genes do take over sometimes…

NSFW; just some Drabble on the idea of Shisui blissfully taking a civilian girl to pound town.

Civilian courage:

No matter how fucked out she is, she knows he could keep going. For hours more! Those few times his perfect control slips just slightly, she will have marks for days. On the other hand, she can just let herself go completely. No matter how much she scratches, bites, writhes under him, he just smirks and enjoys it. Encourages it!

‘Is that all you got?’ Returning her love bites and then some.

About 5 orgasms in and he is still dressed? How can someone be that good with their fingers alone! She is faintly remembering that hand signs and being adept with your fingers are a key element for jutsus, before he crooks his fingers again juuuust right and has her seeing stars. And, oh gods, her civilization body can barely keep from shaking 🫨 basically having perpetual orgasms 😭😭😭

Shaking after number six and he is now scooting down, kissing all over her body until he reaches her happy bean. He hasn't even removed his pants yet, and she starts to realize what she's in for. Poke the beast, get salaciously mauled.

She knows he is nice and will take care of her, but knowing how powerful he is and could nick her in a second makes it oh so hot. So tantalizingly good is the idea of being crushed under his weight, what would really feel like if he gave it all. To be ruined by a man that holds precedence over the entire greater Shinobi allied forces, she feels like a house of cards beneath him. There is nothing like being rammed continually over and over into head knocking orgasms.

All the while she was wholly unprepared to what lengths Shisui would go to make sure she has her fill. He is a prime specimen of man, an adonis, even among Uchiha. She expected it to be good, but not like that. Not so good to be tossed around like a rag doll, did she not think for one second that maybe shinobi men were so bored with mundane sex that they went to higher lengths to get off. No, she didn’t. Being folded like a pretzel was the last thought she had.

She comes face to face with a Shinobi's restraint and self-control, or cunt to face, really, when he has been lapping and licking and sucking at her for another hour. He just keeps on fucking her with his tongue, like she is a jumbo lollypop and he wants to reach the gooey core. Her serum coating his nose, drips down his chin. How attentive Shisui was when devouring her with full mouths haste.

She must look like a raisin at this point, there is no way she can produce that much slick without becoming dangerously dehydrated. But it can’t be that bad, she trusts he knows what he's doing and apparently he is also so, very, much, into it.

‘You’re so fucking wet for me.’ Against her sopping wet cunt as he finally untucks and strokes himself out of her peripheral. The words are hot and laced with desire, making her all the more eager for him.

Shisui sinks into her halfway for the first thrust, coating his length and running his fist to spread her fluids from mid shaft to base. Fully bottoms out the second thrust, raw and deep. Unrelenting and rough, not even trying. Not anything like Shisui would normally put out. A cry or mewl, no sound she made could be contained. Divine praise from her lips into his ears makes Shisui tick. A paper bomb rocking inside of her, pulsing. Expanding at every whimper, every contraction of her slick walls. It’s shameful she would only cum once on his throbbing cock, twice if he really tested his luck. But that’s what lip service was for, and something he excelled at. Holding her up with one arm to fuck her. Just because he can. Rugged hip thrusts, deep and long, making her cry out for any deity her lust-muddled mind can think of.

It's the first time she thinks she caught his resolve cracking for just a moment, when she works up the nerve to grip his hair and pull at his now sweaty curls. His rhythm falters just once, his hips jerking and bucking out of order of the pace he set. Interesting…

She’s so deliciously taut around him when cumming. Squeezing his cock hard, threatening to massage it out of him. Making Shisui lose his resolve and self respect for filling her stupid with his thick sticky cum. It was known practice to not cum inside of one night stands—better yet if it were a civilian. But this time, he might. Might just ‘accidentally’ bless this random village girl with an Uchiha baby.

He loooves this in particular. Because he knows she is not using any chakra to manipulate her body in any way. Because she can’t. It's all him. Because of him. For him. Her body is so pliable, flexible for a girl who doesn’t train las a kunoichi would. Bendable enough to lift her knees to chest and then ears. Allowing him to reach the deepest parts of her cunt, to scratch a particular itch she’s never felt before. The limitless stamina Shisui held over any regular man who was thinking they had brought this pleasure to her was laughable. Not when legs were shaking, heart was racing and eyes rolled shut to unwind in this elevated feeling. This hunger.

She’s nasty too. Knows exactly who’s balls deep in her, writhes for his leaking cock. “…Shisui…you can come inside me.” As if she knew and could see it in his face, “…I want you to, please.” 🫠 The vixen.

So yeah, him filling her dormant womb up with his precious creamer really was inevitable. She is so soft, so fragile, so unmarked. She is untainted by ruthless fights and the harsh reality of a Shinobi's life. She represents all that he fights for, lives for, and damn if that doesn’t make him want to ruin her even more. Soft and innocent, wholly woman in every sense of the word. The daughter of some shopkeeper would be his guess, and what on earth was she doing at a bar filled with deplorable people. People who sought out this sort of thing. Shisui was definitely doing this girl a public service by fucking her stupid for the night.

It's not out of malice or even planned, she assumes he won't, but how could she know the effect her words and body have on him. So delicate, fragile even. Him dragging his thick cock in and out slowly. Nothing she can even do about it, completely at his mercy when he does cum. It seeps around the base of his shaft, forming a creamy white ring of their mixed pleasure. Even the most productive oil rig would be out of business if Shisui was in town, his persistent dredging allowing her to cum again and clench the blissful euphoria out of his cock a bit longer. Giving this girl the show she wanted, reaming a hand around her neck as he pumps her full. Thrusting deep to the hilt and halting as the last of his genetic material spurted within her. Warm and thick.

Peppers kisses to her cheeks and forehead. Apologizing if he had gotten rough, this girl is besotted. She just bagged the hottest guy for a night. Sheepishly asks if he would want to get tea or lunch sometime. Even if just as acquaintances. Shisui isn’t an asshole, he is taking this girl out wherever the fuck she wants and paying for the entire day.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 4, Match 8: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu vs. Xie Lian

Submitted kids:

Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu: Zhang Chengling, Gu Xiang, Liang Jiuxiao, arguably also Cao Weining and Gao Xiaolian

Xie Lian: Ban Yue, Pei Xiu, Lang Ying, Lian Qianqiu, Gu Zi, Lang Ying

Propaganda under the cut!

Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

1: “Wen Kexing- the man has his entire life planned around an evil revenge plot yet somehow while becoming the Ghost Valley Chief he manages to take Gu Xiang (who must of been a young girl at that point) under his wing. Sure the woman in the unfaithful manor probably helped him out with her, but still she manages to come out of the Ghost Valley probably the least messed up out of anyone. Also he goes total protective dad the second Cao Weining starts courting her, literally nitpicks everything the man does, yet in the end he gives them his support in the marriage and even holds it on his turf, opening up the Ghost Valley to normal (warrior/cultivating) people for their wedding. His positive interactions with Zhang Chengling are to a less extent, especially as the boy is so embroiled in his revenge scheme, but none the less he teaches him and treats him decently especially as the spend more time with each other.

ZZS- He gets tangled up in WKX’s whole revenge plot because he promises to protect and escort the boy, Zhang Chengling, to the safety of one of his martial uncles, and yet before we even hit the halfway point in episodes (at least I think it is) he’s taken the boy under his wing as what is essentially a disciple, even though he is the last member of his sect and was ready to let it die with him. Not to mention the fact that his whole plan was to waste away mostly unnoticed and yet he somehow gets dragged into the biggest drama of the decade and repeatedly puts himself in harms way to save the kid! And he planned on passing over the legacy of his sect to him! His relationship with Gu Xiang is less intense, but if I had to describe how they act it’s a constant back and forth, he annoys teases her and she gets all frustrated. She spends the first couple episodes literally thinking he’s a weird old man, cause their whole relationship is just like that. He’s also much more sympathetic to Cao Weining’s continuous courting struggle though that’s not to say he doesn’t pull a fast one or few on him.”

Link to the rest here!

Xie Lian:

1. “a several centuries old disgraced god who keeps somehow getting mixed up in things that have nothing to do with him and taking in random kids in the process. Got dragged into being a soldier in a war between kingdoms he's not even from? suddenly single dad to these two random kids caught up in between. dealing with a malicious ghost who has been killing brides? boom, now he has a ghost son whose previous guardian was killed by the malicious ghost. psychotic ghost cousin posses the body of a man with a young son and continues being a piece of shit? well i guess your taking care of that kid too now (i know guzi is technically qi rong's kid since he's the one possessing his actual dad but if it weren't for xie lian intervening when he did the kid would be dead so he kinda counts too)”

2. “Xie Lian saves a young LQQ from being kidnapped, returns him home and end up becoming the/his grand tutor(which was NOT his original plan at all). He literally teaches the boy everything for years, raising him to become the best ruler he could ever be. The XL ends up accused for killing his family (because of a lot of different things) what is important is that he was not the perpetrator but he did kill LQQ’s father in an act to save the boy from making a horrible decision/outcome and also dealt with the actual perpetrators but kept it a secret cause he knew it would break LQQ’s heart to learn his dear friend planned to kill him and his entire family. LQQ took this betrayal by XL so hard he buried him after staking him through the heart when he was still alive. 300 years later when XL returns/is revealed LQQ is still not over it to the point he wants a FAIR duel to settle the score. FAIR with the man he still thinks killed his entire family!

Banyue and Pei Su are connected. XL took BY under his wing while he was a soldier in the army. He did his best to protect her and get her fed as she had pretty much no one. He also talked with her about his younger selfs dreams for the future which was so inspiring to her that not only did she remember it over a century later when they meet again in very different circumstances but she also apologized for essentially not being able to live up to the ideals he had accidentally passed on to her. While he didn’t have as much direct contact with Pei Su, the boy was BY’s only friend and so while XL was around he did also interact with the boy. However this all came to an end when in an attempt to save BY (which succeeded) he through himself in between two armies and was trampled when they began to fight. When they meet again (as I previously mentioned) XL takes BY under his safety until he is not safe and then sends her off to a safe place where she reunites with PS, who for all XL doesn’t give the same amount of attention to, XL does actually approve of some of him (not all his actions) and seems to find it cute that PS is courting BY.

XL meets Lang Ying first when he helps the boy burry his proxy sister, LY ends up running off after XL reacted with shock to LY’s uncovered face, but XL keeps a constant search for him. XL next saves him from getting beat up by ghosts and ends up taking him to live with him in the shrine he lives in. He does his best to take care of both LY and Gu Zi at the shrine and keeps his good treatment up even knowing LY’s a ghost it only ends when (spoilers for non book people, feel free to look up if you want to know).

XL takes in GZ mostly as his ghost cousin (whom he arrested) has taken over the body of the boy’s father. While I’m not sure how much this one counts, especially since by the end his cousin ends up caring for GZ, but he still does the best he can to feed and care for the boy as his entire life changes.”

[rewordthis]

Episode 17

Right, ok, let me be salty for a moment at Gege for making me believe that Sukuna is a heartless fiend that has absolutely zero care in the world.

He was so freaking excited to see Uraume, man! Did you hear him properly? Did you? I never expected his blasé ass to be so damn happy from literally the bottom of his heart about anyone and anything other than bloodshed!!!

And then he goes off to save Megumi because he has business for him. Like… can you please not be so all over the place, King? I know that you need Megumi for your agenda and that was the sole reason you performed RCT on him, but now I am curious why you wanted him. Is it because he’d make a good candidate for something? Because you only realised halfway into the battle that Makora was able to adjust to your CT. And pal, was I looking at a Sukuna that truly loved the fact that someone (something) was able to see his technique. See him. I’m 100% sure he’d drag the battle a bit more just for kicks if it didn’t have an immediate effect on Megumi’s life. And that was actually terribly honest of him, saying that if Megumi had indeed summoned Makora back in the detention centre then he’d really have bid farewell to this world. Hahaha I sure love him, for that aspect of his character. He’s not afraid to admit his opponents worth or his worthlessness (caused explicitly by his meat-suit) so far for that matter… 😎

Ah, but you see… I am very, very , very curious as to how he’d react in case Uraume gets killed. Bonus points if Gege has the balls to do it in front of his eyes. 😈

And Megumi. Megumi saying sorry to Yuuji because he was going to sacrifice himself to perform the ritual… 🫠 Why are you like this, child? I love the little details that come up in his character. And the fact that Megumi and Nanami share the same MBTI type is just… pfff~ the cherry on top, ok? Because why did I ever made Nanami in one of my WIPs say the same thing? Why? Why are we so predictable, Gege?! 😩

Also, now that I think about it, what did Sukuna do with Haruta? 😗 He said that it was a good thing he saved him, but I got the sense he was referring to his CT. Could it be that Sukuna hacked his technique, too? Like he did with Jogo? Hmmm… didn’t seem like he did in that very moment but maybe at some point? 🧐 And on that note, I’m also contemplating the way he spoke that incantation during his battle with Jogo. I always thought that the box was a means of censoring but in the anime he really mouthed ‘hako’ aka box. Well, considering how accurately an anime can replicate the way something is pronounced that is… after that, the kanji for ‘fuuga’ is the kanji that means ‘to open’, but is also used in other meanings as well like ‘starting’ etc. However, and you can totally call me stupid or paranoid, the first thing that I remembered the minute I heard it was the name of Maya from Saint Beasts. ‘Fuuga no Maya’ had the power to manipulate and control ghosts, which considering how interconnected and vague almost all of those meanings are, could potentially also mean that Sukuna commands the ‘spirit’, or like I had mentioned in a previous post the subconscious that is ‘jujutsu energy’ to open up to him. Well, this is a stretch, but somehow it feels very possible?

By the way, Yuuji’s eyes burning red when he changed back made me think that he’d go full berserk mode but baby boy seems to have had so much rage in him that he just snapped and decided that that’s it; he needs to die and take Sukuna along in Hell. He must definitely believe he can’t handle this beast any longer. Because those black-hole orbs just weren’t Yuuji’s eyes anymore ok?! He’s gone crazy right now. He’s checked out and that is the one thing Gojo tried to tell him he should not do! Jujutsu sorcerers need to keep levelheaded, Todo said the same thing, in order to be able to summon their full strength when they’re fighting. Please, Gege don’t make my kid lose himself any more than this. Don’t drop on him all Hell, all at once! Give him a moment to breathe. Let him meet up with someone that will calm him down enough to realise that he should not waste his energy without a care.

Megumi despite all odds is safely at Shoko’s hands…

Nobara as far as we know is ok…

Nanami should fucking go back and receive treatment because I don’t know what that man is trying to do by going down there in this state… I mean, you know there are special grades in the station, love! You know you can’t really compete with them if you already faced such an awful ‘defeat’ by one that didn’t even stick around to finish you off. Where are you going?! Why are you going? But you’re going because you care, huh? Because you want to make sure everyone is alright. To protect them…. Because one way or another, you believe that the only one who can save everyone is Gojo and you need to help him out because you are the one qualified enough that’s left to help. Stupid! Have you never realised that Gojo trust you to be the first after him?! That he considers you second only to him?! Have you only ever looked at him through those stupid glasses, idiot? He trusted you his students! His biggest secret when he needed someone to take care of Yuuji — the resurrected vessel of Sukuna — the boy that every single higher up wanted dead by all means. He believed you to be his ally. His little minion! He trusted you with the future of the jujutsu world, even if you considered him just a self-centred and indifferent individual, he still wouldn’t want the world he loved and thrived into to be destroyed! He trusted you… because you were you! Why are you acting like you have a fucking death wish?! Why are you doing that?! Don’t you care how much disappointment you’ll feed him? Or maybe that’s your revenge, for being the kouhai that gets teased all the time… Tsk tsk tsk. You got too caught up in your sense of duty, Nanami and that’s not going to end well(yes, I know. It’s been splattered on my feed for a year now…). I hate you. Actually, I hate that you’re so… proper on your everything. Be a little more disobedient, damn it! Why are you a little sarcastic prick only with Gojo but never to anyone else? I bet if he’d told you to “go down to that platform”, you’d first come up with a snarky comment and then go because he’d force you to… Jeez~ 😑

Why my 57 heart… 🥺

[castlebyersafterdark]

i think youre right about the bi/gay debate (sorry to bring it to you... im not bringing it in a Im New Here way, but rather an I've been here a while and youre someone i feel safe asking about this, sort of like sitting down at a kindly hot gay wizard's knee and asking for wisdom way hehe.)

HOLY HECK i did not even see the slideshow length, 300?! i know we celebrate the boys here, but when youre compiling like that it starts to feel like compensating for something. and you're right - so far (im about halfway through) ive been asking myself things like 'but why does that make mike bi?' on every other slide. theyre detailing the plot of s4 from mike's pov; things that all bylers agree on, gay and bi truther alike. none of it so far is evidence for bi mike. at one point they say 'theyre not compatible in a romantic relationship, but mike likes kissing her as we can see here...' and this is what has me respectfully yelling HOW CAN WE SEE THIS PLEASE because so much of these discourses is about opinion and subjective interpretation. im about to sound like a nerd: it really makes me miss school. and uni. and debate club. and seminars. with actual discussion and evidence. hell, i even miss english class and writing essays. make a point. provide evidence. follow up with explanation. the teachers actually called it P.E.E.

PEE. amazing.

but youre right, because its ok for everyone to have their interpretations, especially as the show is unfinished! maybe im just endlessly confused by people's need to justify and be right. what is gained? i think i expected too much from the fandom lol, i expected academia. i feel like i get that open-mindedness from some places though, and from you (plus many other treats heh heh). i think i would love to have had you in my uni classes, vinny! youre so interesting and kind.

and im endlessly interested in the sexual attraction vs. love thing, because ive definitely seen people say that sexual attraction isnt needed. aromantic gay folk, etc... i must be honest and say it gets beyond my understanding and i cant form an opinion on that

footnote 1: im gonna finish the slideshow because today i was reading about the Sunk Cost Fallacy and want to be masochistic (only 150 slides left! its ok though, the vast majority are screenshots of the show itself that illustrate... nothing lol)

Hope you two anons don't mind a little three-way action combining this conversation 🤭 just so my blog isn't dominated by this topic with redundant points! I totally don't mind the topic if it's open and friendly and analytical rather than fighty. All good here. Under a cut since this is long and if people want to skip this topic:

"sitting down at a kindly hot gay wizard's knee and asking for wisdom" - Firstly, love that, obsessed with you. And YEAH the number of slides made me irl do that slow blink meme gif, we know the one. I wasn't very compelled. Am I too staunch and biased? It's not that "oh this character must be gay because I'm gay and like Byler" - no? A lot of people like Byler and aren't gay at all. I've been in fandom culture a long time and don't need to project. I just see what I see. I've shipped many things where I knew the characters weren't queer but I liked the idea. This is the first time in a long time that I feel the shipping and analysis collide and can actually be one in the same, a fandom rarity in my opinion and taste in media.

Anyway. A lot of the points for bi Mike overall from many sources of discussion never strike me as evidence he's bi. They could so often go both ways (HA SORRY) to bi vs gay points. And then the gay points tip the scales. So much of the argument is subjective, for sure. But there is coding and hints and arcs that lend solid evidence. His LACK of attraction to women just feels so clear to me when we have soooo much of that with the other male characters? He just acts differently, abrasive to certain concepts. And his relationship with El is a mess. I will feel so odd if we've all analyzed that wrong. All the points about Mike's weird expressions, his awkward physicality with her as opposed to Will, never really seeming all too enthused. It's almost looks like panic sometimes. A lot of what he says that's read as romantic feels like a performance for other people around - MIKE is the one overcompensating here, truly. His defeated facial expression before he says he loved El in the monologue is such a giveaway to me. He's about to lie for his life and hers.

This is what I mean by life and death. Guilt over his new friend dying for them season 1. Anger at Hopper hiding her while he missed her and felt guilt over what happened. Season three conformity and puberty confusion arc, getting mixed up from growing up and trying to be normal. The excitement that yes, I can be normal, this girl likes me. Changing his personality to fit, and overcompensating for not knowing the difference between platonic and romantic feelings for this girl - he struggled with the platonic because he feels he can't have that so his relationship is messy and too physical, not emotional. His mind and body and heart are all at odds. He and El aren't really friends because they haven't had the time or allowed their relationship to be anything but this need to have it be romantic - El's issue, too, with not really engaging with society in a meaningful way. Rambling now. But it's not hard to see if we're paying attention. Haven't even touched on anything to do with his behavior in regards to men or Will - this is already too long.

I think a lot of people will continue to ship what they want regardless of the outcome and honestly - that's fine? What if the worst happens and Mike ends up with El? I will still be a hardcore Byler fanboy until Stranger Things is not a fandom I'm interested in engaging with. I don't really care. I'll forge my own reality through fanfic. I believe those who still want to engage with Mlvn will do so. I can understand why people choose to see Mike as bi. His sexuality isn't canon yet (as opposed to Robin and Will). It's what they're into and HC since we do not know 100%. I'm not so blinded and delusional to not admit that.

Creativity and analysis overall - to anon #1's point. Yes!!! Glad to be enrolled with you at Stranger Things university. I got my little notebook out, overly caffeinated but I'm there for class. I'm the annoying guy interjecting. But I feel like you'd be sitting next to me in lecture backing me up.

and im endlessly interested in the sexual attraction vs. love thing, because ive definitely seen people say that sexual attraction isnt needed. aromantic gay folk, etc… i must be honest and say it gets beyond my understanding and i cant form an opinion on that

I find it fascinating, too! Which is why I try to learn more and more and always try to consider different viewpoints. It's a broken record, but these orientations are totally valid and props to anyone finding what works, figuring themselves out. I don't think everyone is ever going to completely understand every aspect of human sexuality. I don't. I'm always learning. I'm gay and both a hopeless romantic and a guy with a high sex drive so maybe certain realities and lifestyles I don't fully understand the intricacies of - but that's ok. We don't have to walk an authentic mile in each other's shoes, but we do need to respect each other and leave room on the path!! 😁

And a secret 3rd anon appears!! You said please don't post so I won't. But thank you for filling me in on fandom lore. I didn't know all that!!! Yikes babes. I don't like those vibes!!! 🙃 But, that is not my energy, we're all chill and into fun and discussion here. We don't personally have to give weight to every character interpretation but we also don't have to get at each other and blatantly fight. I'm just vibing 😌❤️

[phyrestartr]

Hello! I'm that burnt out anon that sent in that too-long message about Divine Favour part 1 (I'm glad you like comments because I have thoughts :D) and instead of revising for my exams I just finished reading part 2. Which is much more interesting and fun than revision. I love you so much for this nugget of hope. Anyway, I hope you don't mind my very tired but excited surface level thoughts part 2 electric boogaloo. Oh, and are you okay with emoji anons? Because if the rest of this series is as good as these two parts (which I have no doubt about and I'm hooked either way) I'm definitely doing to appear more often. I don't even read a series that often because I have the attention span of a walnut with ADHD but I'm so invested.

First off, the obligatory URAUME I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHH!!! I'm genuinely so happy we're friends with Uraume because I love them so much omg. I'm so happy they like their overcoat :D.

I also feel so bad for poor Yuji. Poor bby is being thrown for a loop :( but I want to know what other memories he's seeing! Is Sukuna consciously sharing his memories with Yuji, or is it unconscious? Maybe I'm reading into that one line too much and he can actually just feel the weight of Sukuna's emotions - which, if that's the case, means that Sukuna does care about the reader a lot, even more than he's letting on.

Anyway, speaking of reading into one line too much, that "You are." ???? ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP MY HEART OUT? Actually take it because I'd probably be less stressed but AAAAAAAAA . I came here for a break from revision and now I'm halfway crying at poor bby Sukuna just being so confused about these foreign emotions he feels so strongly but doesn't understand.

but then, even when Sukuna doesn't seem capable of recognising his emotions he's still so soft with the reader? Letting him curl up against him as a fox?? Letting him wear his kimono??? Having him turn around to cuddle???? Rubbing his body to try and revive him???????? I'm so aaaaaa I just love him so much and poor baby he's trying his best even if he doesn't understand completely what's going on.

I also want to know what Kenjaku is cooking up. Why did the reader end up in some nasty curse soup in a coffin somewhere instead of Uraume keeping watch over him? I think the plan is obviously to use the reader somehow to resurrect Sukuna. I'm not sure hoe exactly that would work. The reader's taken Sukuna as his mate, though, so maybe there's some funky yokai magic going on. Probably not. The other thing that's intriguing me is the:

“If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually cared about that kitsune.” 

“Then you don't know what this is,”

I want to know what it is. Tell me. Tell me, Sukuna. Please :> I think it must be more than just a plan to resurrect him. Didn't Sukuna tell Yuji at one point that even if Yujo were to die, there were still fingers left over to be consumed? That suggests he isn't in much of a hurry to be resurrected even a thousand years. If the reader's burial was just to one day resurrect Sukuna, he wouldn't care so much.

I am obsessed with this series. Thank you so much for writing it. I'm gonna go back to my revision now, but thank you for taking the time to read this nonsensical rant :D

HEY HEY MY BURNT OUT BUDDY!! Hope you're doing well my dude :'D I'm totally 5000% ok with emoji anons, so ofc just lmk in another ask or whatnot what you'd like to take! I think I have a 💀 anon already but p much everything else is free for the taking I believe uwu

AND I AM ALWAYS SO FREAKING DOWN AND EXCITED TO GET YOUR ANALYSIS ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! my brain is also BRRRR ADHD (which is why I always have 400 stories going at once lmao) so I totally understand and HEY I'm glad I can provide a bit of a getaway from doing revisions and uni work you feel me u7u we all need sweet, sweet breaks to read about monster fucking!!!

I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE URAUME. THEY ARE BABY (RESPECTFULLY). Idk I just enjoy the way they are towards Sukuna, and therefore towards people they like/respect. They need to have some EQUALS in their life frfr and reader is just the sort to be like "I have accepted you and so you must accept that I accept you" and Uraume just rolls with it, silently very happy LOL. Ig they see reader as an extension of Sukuna, too

Omg yeah we love torturing Yuuji in this house (respectfully)!!! Idk he's just a fun, emotional little nugget so he's srsly a great character to use for emotional gut punches. And the way Yuuji is perceiving Sukuna's emotions and memories is elaborated on a little further in the next part, so stay tuned 👀

"YOU ARE" IS LIKE SO CORNY AND CHEESY BUT I JUST LIKE CATCHING SUKUNA OFF GUARD LIKE THAT. BRO IS TRYING TO BE LIKE "DAMN BITCH U DIFFICULT" and reader is just like "u da best tho." Incredible. Impeccable. Sukuna doesn't know how to bother reader sometimes and just has to take a fat L and get mad bc he's having EMOTION loool

YEAH I don't think Sukuna is one for saying loving things in an appropriate way (Ex: no "you're beautiful and i care for you," more like "nice ass") but in the manga, he's explained to be someone that operates on the premise of 'pleasure and displeasure,' so imo heian sukuna categorizes every living thing as 'like that/don't like that' and then the nuance of that is a bit more annoying to him in regards to 'how much do i like that' 'how much do i hate that' etc etc. He's an interesting character to try and understand when writing, and I do have to think hard about how he'd react to gentle/soft/emotional situations since he's a stupid asshole but clearly can give praise/recognition when it's due

KENJAKU RAAAAAH it's clarified a tiny bit more in the next part!

BEHEHEHEEHH Idk if Sukuna will ever fully say it or reveal what THIS is, but reader and context clues should!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIFTING ME SUCH A FIRE ANALYSIS AND UR THOUGHTS ONCE AGAIN!! Bro I get so stoked when you hit me with an ask like this like asdjkf;l coming at me with expositional essay analysis like SHEE!!

Seriously though, it's so so so cool and exciting when folks pick up on the little bits and pieces of foreshadowing/weird wording/etc and then start speculating on it. Makes the effort of writing in that stuff so worth it!!

THANK U AGAIN AS ALWAYS MY ADHD HOMIE, I HOPE THE REST OF YOUR REVISING WENT ALRIGHT!! YOU DA BEST, I APPRECIATE YOU!! 💖

[yuridovewing]

12, 21, 23, and 25?

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I don't think I need to say this to you cause I've blabbed about it for a while but Heathertail!! I've always been pretty fond of her, she's a very interesting character and I don't think people give her nearly enough credit for what we've seen of her when you remove her from the Heatherbreeze ship. I think her friendship with Lionpaw before All That Happened was really sweet and I thought it was nice to see an example of a forbidden relationship that was just... two children with a crush on each other that quickly realized it wouldn't work out. But she's also a person who, while she holds personal grudges (for justified reasons imo but-) she will still break the rules for that person to do the right thing. Like, it was against the law to give Lionblaze their medicine, and she justifiably hates this guy and makes sure to point that out... but she's not going to let cats get hurt if she can avoid it. And I haven't read Crowfeather's Trial but that combined with how she acts around Breezepelt is... idk it's interesting! Especially now that she's retconned to be Onestar's kid (which I have conflicting feelings on but yknow still it's interesting)

There's also Dovewing but I feel like more and more people are coming around to her. Thank you Moonkitti. Another I can think of is Onestar, or at least pre AVoS Onestar (which honestly I'm disregarding in my brain cause like... god he was just SUCH a random choice for Darktail's father that I'm halfway convinced that they changed their minds on who it was in between The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow) I like a character who gets negative development actually. He starts off as perfectly pleasant and a nice friend for Fireheart in WindClan, but forced leadership and an assassination attempt twisted him to become more bitter and cut Firestar off. And that's just the surface, there's an undercurrent in Winds of Change that Onewhisker is a doormat who is actually being told what to do by Firestar- like it's not something Firestar is deliberately and knowingly exploiting or anything, but what Firestar says, Onewhisker will do because "Well, I DO owe it to him, and it wouldn't KILL me". So seeing his experiences yank him out of that mindset and into someone who becomes more conservative, backfiring on Tallstar cause he changed his deputy in the worst way possible, is actually really compelling to me. I wish they did more with it tbh.

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped

Disclaimer that this bars anything Arc 6 and up cause I haven't read that far.

Mmm tbh... not totally sure what to point at specifically? Cause like, there's a lot I could point to cause like... tbh I think we all collectively remember a lot of WC scenes to be so much cooler than they actually were cause of all the MAPs.

Is it cheating to say most of DOTC? I actually do think the first three books are solid, at least from what I remember of them. But the entire arc is held up as a must read. Which is pretty sad cause I don't see people talk about... actual plot points in DotC all that often. Which I feel is pretty telling.

23. Ship you've unwillingly come around to

Hmmm another hard one cause I don't really have a ton of ships. Or any that I've been "unwilling" on...

I guess Heatherbreeze? I mildly enjoy it in concept but I don't really like how people just reduce Heathertail to "Breezepelt's happy ending". idk.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Oh anytime the fandom complains about characters besides the protagonists being angry at said protagonists for understandable reasons, to the point of calling those characters stupid idiots even when it's literally "the protagonist got this person's friend killed". Like when people literally portrayed ShadowClan in Night Whispers as petty and mean and dumb for.... being mad at Lionblaze for literally murdering their deputy. And saying Russetfur deserved to die anyways cause she was old and fighting Firestar (who led an attack on her camp btw). Or when Dawnpelt was called an overreacting insane bitch when she blamed Jayfeather for Flametail's death (despite Flametail doing the same thing and worse cause he tried to kill Jayfeather in return but yknow. It's only bad if girls do it) Like... yes she was wrong to do that especially when Jayfeather was innocent and he was totally justified to just save himself in the end. but she was grieving and grief can be messy. Y'know? Also when people got mad at Tigerheart when he threatened Ivypool when the Dark Forest tried to make her attack Flametail's spirit. Yes Ivypool was being manipulated but he's allowed to be pissed in the moment dude!

[guessimate]

We are concluding the 2nd rotation in the Asian part of my town with the Tians. They are getting a free goat from the ROS gods, which makes sense, since they have sheep already. I ended up just giving them 2 goats - a male and a female, for the chance of producing baby goats, because they really just started and they had some disposable money.

I rolled for a ROS for them again, because I felt like I went too easy on them. The 2nd ROS decided I would have to fulfill their wants this round (otherwise I'd need to do the same next round, but for fears). It was not difficult to achieve, but I must say Hiroki had the weirdest wants for a Popularity sim. He wanted to buy stuff, and get some skill points (that part I can understand, as it was autumn). The illness must have changed his priorities in life. Sadly, I couldn't get him a lot of the stuff he wanted (TV? toy dog pen (bunny)? I really wanted to give him a recliner, but the want wouldn't fulfill). He did get to Charisma level 5 at least.

I found a job for the man of the house, as this family is not going to be selling anything for a while. There was a vacancy in the Culinary career, and this is the perfect job for a food provider, and Hiroki's One True Hobby happens to be Cuisine, too. Hiroki also wanted to hire a nanny, but that couldn't happen... I'm guessing that means he prefers going to work instead of staying home though.

~*~

Tasuku is a Taurus. He's 6 Neat and 6 Outgoing just like his dad. He's also 4 Lazy like his mom. But he's also more Playful (9) and Grouchy (3) than both of his parents. Both Fumi and Hiroki are 7 Nice.

Fumi taught Tasuku all of his toddler skills (she actually wanted to teach him all 3, which is quite rare in my game). His dad taught him the Nursery Rhyme, because I wanted him to remember something related to his firstborn.

I wanted to wait with more babies, like I did with the Lao family, but Fumi wanted another baby, and I was supposed to be fulfilling wants...

So their next baby was meant to be twins, but one of them was not meant to be due to terrible rolls. I also rolled 3x at birth, as if it was a twin birth, but Fumi still survived it, so I guess it was just that unfortunate infant. Hopefully they will get one more later, but nothing will replace the unborn twin.

Fumi threw two birthday parties for her firstborn this round, in both cases when the man of the house was at work. Is it offensive to her husband? I don't know, but he works late, so I am not blaming her.

I wanted to add that I'm not sure if Fumi really wanted to throw the 2nd birthday party for her son, or for the occassion of her giving birth. Her husband just came back home and the party was halfway through, when she started giving birth and everyone ran to her. I named the newborn Hanako. She's a blue-eyed girl with black hair.

~*~

On the very last night of their rotation the burglar decided to come over. I flipped a coin and it decided that I should let Hiroki beat her up. I flip a coin for it now, because the Anyone Fights Burglars mod is always successful. I think the burglar wanted to steal some of the sheep, but she didn't get to do it fast enough.

Hiroki had two days off, I believe. Overall he got promoted once so he's on level 2 of the Culinary career track, which doesn't pay very well. But he has earned earned 966$ total.

500$ - rent

386$ - tax

97$ - tithe

They needed to pay 986$ (rounded down to 950$) + 500$ rent for last round. They are left with some change they could use to set up a store, but I don't think they'll be selling anything before spring comes.

There is 8800$ in the town's bank... Let's say it was all spent to erect the monastery from earlier, because the unfurnished building is worth around as much. I imagine the monks are starting out sleeping on the floor or something...

[slowroadtosantiago]

Day 21 - Boadilla to Carrion de Los Condes

It was a longer one today, about 16 miles, so we sent our bags on.

We set off before 7 in order to get the miles in before it got hotter. It was a cool walk out of Boadilla in the early morning light.

Before too long the path joined a canal, and it was beautiful walking along with a slight mist on the waters and the reflections of the trees.

Our breakfast stop was 3 or so miles down the road at Fromista. Coln from Galway also turned up and we breakfasted together.

The route today followed a quiet main road with several villages along the way. It was very straight and flat with fields on either side.

At one point we went over a river bridge and we are sure there was the noise of otters in the reeds of the river, they were making quite a racket! It was either that or very noisy frogs, you’ll have to tell us what you think.

We stopped for coffee at about 7.5 miles and changed our shoes to give our feet a rest. We were sat outside the cafe with a bunch of French people and they set off in what turned out to be the wrong direction. One of the locals shouted after them but they didn’t appear to hear! They must have realised their mistake as we saw them at lunch.

Another 4 miles up the road we stopped for lunch at a cafe opposite a large church which belonged to the Knights Templar. We went in to have a look but it looked like there was a confirmation service about to start with a young girl in a white dress at the front so we didn’t stay long.

The last 3.5 miles to Carrion de los Condes seemed to go on forever, and with the road being flat, it just never seemed to get closer!

We walked through the town to our lodgings. It seems a lively place, particularly today being a bank holiday. We’re staying in a private room with it’s own bathroom (and proper bath!), all for 30 euros in total.

We are both a bit pooped and stiff after today so have taken it in turns in the bath, bliss!

Just after 5 we went out for a wander and everything had calmed down, there weren’t many people about. We had seen an outdoor shop on the way in so decided to pop down there and see if we could find a corner shop open.

On the way we found the Texans and Martina from the Netherlands outside a bar. We did pop to the shop then joined them for a glass of wine. Scott found us too and it was nice to chat. They had seen a restaurant down the street for a meal. Three of the Texans went off as they had heard about nuns singing somewhere (can’t remember where), and Tim stayed with us. After yet another glass of wine we had a lovely meal together.

I’m glad Jane and I aren’t going far tomorrow, just 10 miles, as it means we can have a lazy morning. I think we’re going to need it after the wine!

We’ve now been walking 3 weeks and are nearly at the halfway point. Our daily average has gone up to 12.6 miles a day but I think that’ll be the max as it’s a distance we’re comfortable with.

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

hey everyone, I'm still alive! and! I have a writing update!

I haven't done any writing.

okok that's not totally true, I've done bits and pieces since I published 'i still talk to you' (link here, I had fun with that one) but I'm nowhere close to having anything ready to publish. Still, I figured I'd give y'all a (totally sober, for once) update on where I'm at in the stories I've promised.

So, okay, the big one first: TMHYHM. I've got about 3k of chapter 9 done, so we're about halfway through it. I'm starting school again in a few days (senior year, woohoo) and I always seem to write better at school, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that it'll get done in the next few weeks. About ten days from now is the one year anniversary of me 1: starting my AO3 account and 2: publishing chapter one of TMHYHM which is.... both exciting and a little sad? Genuinely didn't expect this story to take so long, but here we are.

A lovely commenter pointed out that I must put a lot into each chapter, and I honestly hadn't really thought much about it but they're right. I'm not gonna ramble about it for much longer, but every chapter takes a lot of time and energy. There was the re-read I did to write down the main plot points I wanted to hit every chapter, and then scouring the internet for quotes to put in once I decided I wanted to go that direction, and then I re-read each individual chapter twice; the first time to get more specific with what happens each chapter, finding places to put extra scenes etc. and a second time to figure out a chapter title. Actually writing the chapters is a lot too. I put a lot of myself and my experience into my interpretation of Andrew, and I feel like it fleshes him out more, but it also makes these chapters so much more mentally draining to write. Anyway, all that to say: happy early birthday to TMHYHM and thank you all for your patience.

Okay anyway, some of you may remember that I started teasing a hospital/amnesia fic (here, here, and here) a month ago during the AO3 outage, and I've almost got three chapters finished (halfway done !) I decided a few months ago that I wasn't going to post multi-part fics until after they're finished from now on, so as soon as I finish the whole thing it'll be up. I took a break from it for a little while, but when I came back and read through it today I genuinely cried a little? I'm evil guys why do I write these things??

Third: the minyard triplets. I'm going to be so honest here, I have not made any progress since last time I updated yall. Looking back at the story, I'm honestly kinda starting to hate it? I don't know, I still like parts of it but it just doesn't feel anywhere close to being my best work. I'll keep working on it and hopefully finish it soon, but I don't know when it'll be done. I had thought about turning it into a series, but I'm just not sure how attainable that is anymore.

Also, you may or may not have read my last fic, but if you did: I'm working on an alternate ending!!! I can't say much (cause spoilers) but I'm working very hard on it so keep an eye out for that one. Not sure if it'll be a separate fic or just a second chapter, but it's coming.

ok uhhhhhh.... i think that's it? TLDR: I don't have a lot of answers for y'all, but I'm working on things.

Oh, also? I'm writing a book. So fics might go on the backburner for a little bit lol. Let me know if that's something you'd like to hear more about though, I'm super excited.

Thank you for all your love and support <3

[ladyeloisee]

Part 4

Confession

I was doing my dishes after my smoothie hour. I heard someone slamming the door and a shouting my name. I had to put the vessel halfway and wiped my hands using my trousers which I was wearing. “Uggh, what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you make things go calm , Kiran?” I got really pissed. But he was pushed at something for sure. “Ohh, you do all stuff and I have to keep quiet at whatever shit you do? Is that how you think things will work always?you..” “wait, what did I do?” I was totally confused. “Ha, don’t act innocent now, what’s going between you and Ilahi? You can’t use my friends for your fantasies understand?” I was shocked. Freaking shocked. We didn’t meet for past two days and I had no clue what he was talking about. “What do you mean Kiran?” “Oh you don’t know anything right. Wait..” he called out his friend Chris. “He had seen everything.” He points him and looks at me. I look at Chris with confused face “wha-at? What did you see Chris? What drama are you trying to create here now?” “Pia, let me not make this worse, i saw you both kissing last evening.” And he showed a picture.

“Oh fuck doode, that was nothing.” Actually Ilahi gave me a cig that evening and he helped me to light it. Which had mistaken to be a kiss. I hit myself on my head and asked both of them to bring Ilahi before dumping all bones upon me. “I think Ilahi must be here while talking about this. You can’t point on just me. If you think we kissed each other, call him too and confirm it with him right away.” They did miss words. Kiran tried to bury it just like that. I didn’t leave him. “Call him right now Chris! What are you wondering at? You had seen the scene and how is it fair to question just me?”

You know the feel of getting actual butterflies and goosebumps, I felt it again. He came wearing a crisp black shirt couple of the top buttons open flipping his hair, and that smile on his beard face, oh my “baby you light up my world like nobody else…”, 1d playing, I lost control and I was just looking at him coming close to me and patting my shoulder. “Hey P, and wassup men?” He was as chill as he could. “Hey,” I went on. “…umm the thing is these kids, I mean men had misunderstood on something and have been questioning me since an hour. And I felt you are suppose to be here.” I pulled up my shoulder and a wide smile. “Alright… what’s it about? I looked and both the men. “You know Ilahi we just wanted to clarify if you and Pia kissed ever?” No wonder what happened next. Ilahi just laughed out loud. “Fuck what? Never. Clarified?” Hoped yes. That was satisfying for me too. I have a look of winning towards the both and asked them to get off at the same second. I smiled at Ilahi and said a thanks. Felt complete for the day. “Hey P, I would rather fuck you everyday if you were mine.” He winked saying it. Whaaaaat? Whaaat was that suppose to mean? I wasn’t dreaming for sure. I mean for sure that was real. But what was he trying to say? Was that the same I wanted to say him? Or is he just making things get worse on me. God I lost my sleep there.

[basalamander-corner]

Camp NaNoWriMo Week 3 Progress

The first two weeks went by smoothly, and I reached the halfway point of my goal yesterday, which is awesome! Unfortunately, I didn't finish part 2 yet, as it's shaping up to be a bit longer than I expected it to. Regardless, progress is still progress!

Project Name: The Shifting Tides (side blog is @the-shifting-tides-wip)

Goal: 30k words

Tagline: Sometimes we must fight for a future we ourselves cannot see.

Genres: Fantasy, LGBT+, Romance, Adventure, Young Adult

Week 3 progress under the cut!

Day 15

Words typed: 533

Total words: 15,796

Times updated: 2

Although I updated twice today, I didn't write very much. Regardless, I'm still at my word count goal for today! The voyage has finally brought Saran and co. to the island, and hopefully in a few chapters we'll get to the main plot!

Day 16

Words typed: 1,177

Total words: 16,973

Times updated: 1

Woohoo! I skipped around a little from here (because that's my writing process, lol) and got to one of the more pivotal events of this draft. Specifically, the following line:

And in a single, fluid motion, the lepinl surged forward, skewering Saran with their massive horns.

I'll go back to write part 2 at a later date. Maybe not this month, but I'll have to finish it eventually.

Day 17

Words typed: 999

Total words: 17,972

Times updated: 1

Yo! I typed a pretty cool number today, exactly one away from 1k! I probably could have made it into 1k if I really wanted to, but honestly I was getting tired. I started writing at 10:30pm and finished just before midnight, so I honestly needed the break!

Day 18

Words typed: 181

Total words: 18,153

Times updated: 1

I'm hoping this will be the lowest number I type for this project. I've been really burnt out even though we're so close to being done! I think it has more to do with my recital coming up and the fact that I'm overwhelmed with schoolwork more than my draft, though.

Day 19

Words typed: 1,149

Total words: 19,302

Times updated: 1

I thought yesterday was a fluke, and it looks like I was right! I managed to write over 1k words in one sitting today (and that sitting lasted about an hour), so I feel really good about it. I just finished one of the most heartbreaking scenes in this draft so far, and I'm loving how much I've tortured Saran. This next scene will help move forward his relationship with Viridian, and I'm hoping to get to their first "awkwardly romantic" scene at some point!

Day 20

Words typed: 989

Total words: 20,291

Times updated: 1

Viridian and Saran's relationship is very rocky at the moment. Viridian has discovered that Saran is actually a holindal, and he's not sure how to feel! He thinks Saran is about to kill him, although Saran tries to convince him he won't actually do that. It's going to take a little while before they can learn to trust each other...

Day 21

Words typed: 1,124

Total words: 21,415

Times updated: 2

Although it won't be this way on the NaNo website, I actually updated twice today! Once during class (I know, I should have been focusing!) and once later at night. I did skip around a little because the inspiration for the current chapter wasn't hitting me, but that doesn't matter!

There's only 9 days left, a little over a week! I can't believe I've made it this far, and I hope I can continue updating daily!

@the-wip-project

[phlistopher]

A Masculine Aside

I wrote a humor column in college for the Hofstra Chronicle under the pseudonym Silence Doless, a nod to Benjamin Franklin I didn't come up with.

I was very proud of this work at the time. It's all very Hofstra specific, and the mid 2000s. Against my better judgement, I've decided to republish the series here.

This is the fifth column, originally published October 18th, 2007. This one is pretty cringy, especially towards the end. Commentary at the bottom.

Yo yo yo! So I was at a party the other day, (Well, night really. I was at a party the other night, specifically the last one that happened. Yeah, last night. It was last night that the rest of this sentence, the subject of which you have by now no doubt forgotten, happened) and it had eighteen wheels! (Just kidding about the eighteen wheels bit, I was just testing you to see if you remembered the subject of the sentence, which was that I went to a party. I am well aware that the sentence, “I went to a party and it had eighteen wheels” makes no logical sense whatsoever, so please if you’re a Reason Nazi and reading this (as opposed to injecting this), hold your angry letters. I am also aware that injecting a printed humor column, as opposed to reading one like a normal laws-of-physics abiding person, is totally absurd. I added it for comedic value only, as it pointed out an exploitable redundancy in my own writing. As Newton himself once famously said, “There is no earthly power that can in any way transform the knowledge of a printed humor column into an inject-able substance…except on Sundays”)

Right, so I was…I was…what was happening to me again? Damn it, I completely lost my train of thought. I’ve made so many implausible detours of logic it makes Boston driving seem humanly possible. Okay, I’m going to start over. Here we go.

Last night I went to a party. Now this particular party was a pajama party, meaning that everyone had to be wearing sleepwear (Yes, even you Larry). However, I didn’t have any sleepwear aside from a pair of green Fubu pants that were in the laundry. I thought about showing up wearing only my boxers, because that’s what I usually sleep in, (If you thought THAT was too much information, just wait until I say scrotum!) however I deemed it too risky as none of them had a button in front. Why is it that boxers are manufactured without that button? Is it some shrewd money saving scheme, or do underwear companies legitimately want their customers flopping out every time they make sudden movements? In my opinion, this is solid evidence to support the Gay Mafia’s existence. Anyway, I decided against wearing boxers for the above wang related reason, and instead arrived dressed for sleep in jeans and a T-shirt. Obviously this did not go over well, and I was quickly whisked away to be properly pajama-ed. Moments later I rejoined the party wearing a skin-tight lacy black see-through top with pink polka dot shorts that barely covered my upper thighs.

Now, this brings me to the topic, (Finally, right? I mean, who introduces the topic more than halfway through their column? You must be thinking, “Jesus, I start reading this column, and it’s nothing but huge parentheticals which are barely related to the topic, which he JUST introduced! And when I say huge parentheticals, I mean HUGE parentheticals. The digressions go on for ages! I wouldn’t be surprised if he started writing about gerbils reciting Hamlet in space. Imagine that! How could you even describe something so absurd? Pop? What a prick this Silence Doless is!) and a lemon in a freezer. (Just kidding. This week’s topic is not “and a lemon in a freezer.” Hey, it was just a joke. A joke I tell you! Put me down you crazy Nazis! Ok, Ok, I’m starting over.)

This week’s topic is being comfortable in one’s own masculinity. I sure am, are you? If you’re not sure, take this handy quiz. NOTE: Results may vary if you are female.

Do you have a penis?

Do you think about your penis?

Have you ever thought about someone else’s penis?

Do you watch Scrubs?

If you answered No to any of the above questions, you are clearly not comfortable with your own masculinity. If you answered No to all, you could be in the closet. If this is the case, please, for your own sake, stop grunting, spitting, swearing, having sex with women, etc. and come out already! It’s okay to be gay, whatever the pope may say. Be proud of who you are. If the whole world ever seems like it is about to crush you under it’s intolerant heel, just take this humor column and inject it into the world’s toe. Whether it laughs or cries, or just gets pissed off, that fact that it has a giant syringe sticking out of its foot should buy you enough time to get away. Besides, if you stay locked in that closet forever, bad things will start to happen. Sure, you’ll be locked in there with Tom Cruise, but he’s clinically insane these days anyway. However the real danger comes from within. Well, within the family, really. As soon as the Gay Mafia hears about your denial, they’ll smack you so hard on the exposed wang you’ll wish you didn’t have one (refer back to quiz question A). So please folks, let’s strive to make a better world, and stand up for who we are, whoever we are (Oh, and by the way, scrotum).

Well, there I was, being a doofus in 2007. This piece isn’t great overall, but the ending where I give advice to gay men makes my skin crawl. The whole thing feels like a mess. Anyway, apologies regarding the past from the future.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Full propaganda: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu

1, Wen Kexing: Look this man shouldn't be adopting kids because he's kinda evil and also the leader of an army of criminals and outcasts, a position where he killed his way to the top at a young age, BUT when he was still just a kid he found Gu Xiang and knew that if he didn't take care of her that she would die and became her father/brother/master (it's complicated). And then many years later when he's off doing his revenge quest he basically ends up adopting Chengling who is freshly an orphan which was kind of Kexing’s fault (it's complicated), but Chengling doesn't mind that his new dads are a little evil (his other dad is Zhou Zishu who basically created the CIA in fantasy ancient China). And then Gu Xiang falls in love with Cao Weining which puts Kexing into protective father mode and he goes all overbearing father-in-law on Weining, but he comes around when he's sure that Weining will treat her right. And then when Weining's family/sect turns on him, Kexing becomes one of the few people left he could call family (also with the rest of the group).

2, Both: Wen Kexing- the man has his entire life planned around an evil revenge plot yet somehow while becoming the Ghost Valley Chief he manages to take Gu Xiang (who must of been a young girl at that point) under his wing. Sure the woman in the unfaithful manor probably helped him out with her, but still she manages to come out of the Ghost Valley probably the least messed up out of anyone. Also he goes total protective dad the second Cao Weining starts courting her, literally nitpicks everything the man does, yet in the end he gives them his support in the marriage and even holds it on his turf, opening up the Ghost Valley to normal (warrior/cultivating) people for their wedding. His positive interactions with Zhang Chengling are to a less extent, especially as the boy is so embroiled in his revenge scheme, but none the less he teaches him and treats him decently especially as the spend more time with each other.

ZZS- He gets tangled up in WKX’s whole revenge plot because he promises to protect and escort the boy, Zhang Chengling, to the safety of one of his martial uncles, and yet before we even hit the halfway point in episodes (at least I think it is) he’s taken the boy under his wing as what is essentially a disciple, even though he is the last member of his sect and was ready to let it die with him. Not to mention the fact that his whole plan was to waste away mostly unnoticed and yet he somehow gets dragged into the biggest drama of the decade and repeatedly puts himself in harms way to save the kid! And he planned on passing over the legacy of his sect to him! His relationship with Gu Xiang is less intense, but if I had to describe how they act it’s a constant back and forth, he annoys teases her and she gets all frustrated. She spends the first couple episodes literally thinking he’s a weird old man, cause their whole relationship is just like that. He’s also much more sympathetic to Cao Weining’s continuous courting struggle though that’s not to say he doesn’t pull a fast one or few on him.

3, Zhou Zishu: former assassin who literally just wanted to drink himself to death in peace but then in the span of like 2 day he suddenly obtained 2 kids and a husband(stalker)???? poor man Did Not want this and proceeds to spend the next few weeks/months in denial about it before finally coming to terms with the fact that he cares about all of them (not that he's gonna tell them that) and then he gets a son-in-law too??? the universe really refused to let him die alone and miserable and decided to drop and entire family on him out of nowhere

4, Both: “Submitting as a couple for maximum kid coverage. Also I saw that you already got show versions, so: this propaganda might sound contradictory to what you've got, but that's just because they changed stuff for the show.

In a vaguely chronological order: when Wen Kexing is about 12-13, living in a sort of no-laws land for people exiled from normal society, he picks up an orphaned infant girl, Gu Xiang, and decides to raise her (which btw to this day drives me severely insane because. he was just a kid! he was barely keeping himself safe!! he gave her a childhood he himself couldnt have!!!). Elsewhere, Zhou Zishu, also a teen at the time, gets saddled with looking after this kid, Liang Jiuxiao, by his shifu/teacher. Both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu act as a sort of parent/older brother figure to their respective kids. (Wen Kexing even puts it this way to someone, saying "we grew up together, so I'm a bit like her brother, but I also brought her up, so I'm a bit like her father too".)

Much later, when both Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are in late twenties, they happen to run into each other. At this point, Liang Jiuxiao died in war a few years prior, but Zhou Zishu gets handed another kid - Zhang Chengling, a very recently orphaned 14yo. Zishu originally maintains that he's only helping the kid get to his extended family (kid's father's friend who's supposed to be like an uncle to him), but everyone gets attached. Zhang Chengling decides to become Zhou Zishu's disciple no matter what; Zishu is kind of seeing Jiuxiao in him, but also himself - because of how everyone is pressuring Chengling into taking responsibility for restoring his family's name/school while he is just a kid, when Zhou Zishu himself was only 15 when he had to take over his own school/organization because his shifu died - and Zishu is only now realizing this was maybe a lil bit non-ideal; Wen Kexing also partially sees himself... though a large part is also him just vibing with how much he, Zishu, and Chengling look like a nice lil' family together (he and Zishu are actually villain4villain but they rp normalcy so hard Chengling actually grows up well-adjusted); Gu Xiang and Chengling also develop a friendship.

So eventually Zhou Zishu goes "fuck it" and takes Chengling away, and he and Wen Kexing raise him together. They have a nice family vacation in the middle of the book and everything. The new year chapter is just *chefs kiss*

Zhou Zishu also looks out for Gu Xiang, and gives her some good advise. She doesn't spend as much time with the family because she's an adult at the time of the novel (by setting's standards) and is doing her own things, but Zishu clearly does take her as one of his own too.

The last two are not as clearly adopted but I figure I should mention them for completion's sake.

Cao Weining is a guy WenZhou run into on their travels, who they find a little silly but endearing. (the guy learned gay ppl exist and became an ally within like one conversation XD) He later falls in love with Gu Xiang, and she reciprocates after a while, so he is more son-in-law than outright adoptee - but at this point whos counting, hes also theirs in a way.

Meanwhile Gao Xiaolian is a girl whose dad was killed by the same people who killed Chengling's family, and she herself was kidnapped. Gu Xiang, Zhang Chengling, and Cao Weining rescue her and bring her to the family. She doesnt get a lot of interaction with WenZhou, but she becomes an important fourth member of no-braincells quartet with the rest of the 'children'. And she and Zhang Chengling also kill a guy together in a way that wasn't very honorable (deserved though), so clearly the influence of this particular found family is there 👍”

[maidenofcrows]

HA! Okay, I have some Thoughts:

Howl totally skipped over the idea of courtship. He was thinking about floral arrangements before he even popped the question.

Speaking of floral arrangements, he initially thought he’d be all romantic and tried to propose via ~*~*~flower language ~*~*~. You know, because Sophie likes flowers.

Sophie is oblivious. She was wondering how he managed to keep a lover for as long as he ever had if his only bit was flowers.

Sophie is under the impression that they are, in fact, going to go through a courtship period.

Howl resorts to dropping hints while still not actually proposing.

I’m certain this was in a fanfic, possibly more than one, but she’s making preparations to move out of the castle for propriety’s sake until their courtship is over in whatever capacity that may be.

Howl panics because he doesn’t want her to leave and he says… the wrong thing, I’m just not sure what specifically.

They argue, of course. And somewhere during that time, Sophie connects the dots.

“Howl, were you trying to propose?”

“Yes, I thought that was obvious! If you must tear my newfound heart like this, at least be merciful and get it over with quickly. Don’t prolong my agony any further!”

“Daft man, it was not obvious! You didn’t even ask!”

“Yes, I did!”

They argue some more.

He actually asks her his burning question.

She says yes. But then they have to settle on a date.

Howl is so ready to go. He is ready to up and elope right now. Sophie reminds him that it takes at least three months to get a marriage license. It’s Michael who says that Howl’s position as Royal Wizard should expedite the process.

Howl says that if he utilised that power, he’d have to invite the King to his wedding. No thanks.

In a sense, they both win. They apply for a marriage license and court for the three months it takes to process. Standard shenanigans apply.

Sophie points out that they do still have to invite people. Fanny will throw a fit if she’s not there. “And what about your sister, Howl?”

“Ah, Megan. Hmm… I think I’ll just tell her that we had a whirlwind romance before our subsequent elopement and she’ll be no less disappointed in me.”

Sophie is less than pleased with this, but doesn’t have a better solution. Unstoppable force (Sophie) meets the immovable object (Howl’s sister).

Yes, Howl does wish that Mari could be there. Yes, Sophie wishes her father could attend. No, it’s not the same, but there’s an understanding there.

As for the actual wedding, it’s small, but grand. Howl went the whole nine yards with decorations and such.

The ceremony went well enough, save for the fact that they were interrupted about halfway through. Sophie scolded some inanimate objects and everything was right back on track.

Then we get to the reception, where whatever magic Sophie used went wrong because she didn’t think it through again. Eldest daughter problems, you know how it is.

There’s a lot more problem-solving than celebrating.

Lettie, Martha, Michael, and Calcifer all gave a short speech.

In typical second child fashion, Lettie called Howl a sister-stealing swine (affectionate) and threatened bodily harm if he messed things up with Sophie.

Martha gave genuine well wishes to them both. She wants them to be happy, and thinks they’re it for each other.

Michael was similar, but put some emphasis on how mad he thought Sophie must have been to keep pushing Howl’s buttons. “Now I know they’re both mental.”

Calcifer simply got a kick out of telling people that Howl fell for someone old enough to be his grandmother.

Dancing? Sophie didn’t recall that there’s be dancing. She is not a graceful dancer. But she knows Howl will like it, so she does her best.

Howl is not a great dancer either, to his chagrin. He relishes the attention though, so he does it anyway.

Yes, yes, yes, they bicker almost completely throughout the reception. It’s how they show they care.

Because I believe in Introvert Sophie supremacy, I say she refused to leave the castle until her battery was recharged.

Howl stated that he didn’t think being a newlywed meant taking on the life of a recluse.

Sophie lobbed a pillow at his head for that one. “I’m not a recluse, just exhausted.”

Howl was not being serious before, but is feigns being completely unconvinced by her claims just to be petulant.

Thus begins the married life of Howl and Sophie.

guys can we start a howl and sophie wedding brainstorming session bc i am patiently waiting for my copy of cita and somewhere in between that and hmc they got married. what was it like?? did he bring her back to wales??? how did he propose??? or how did SHE i guess????? I NEED THE DETAILS RAHHH

WHAT IS THE IDEA HERE GUYS

[samcollinsbf]

a few redacted piercing hcs

im like sooo tired rn so these are very unorganized feeling + i will make a more cohesive post tomorrow or something with more of the dudes but for now my thoughts must be shared.

these are organized in order from most to least me just projecting so bear with it

CW for body modification described in pretty heavyish detail + mention of needles of course under the cut

Darlin

darlin has 1738292933 piercings like just trust me

they have 2 professionally done from when they were like a baby but the rest they did by hand

as i've stated before they've given sam a couple of ear piercings

like the amount of trust you need to have in someone to stick a needle in your ear hello !! holding your vampire boyfriends face in your hands !! they mean a lot to me can you tell.

they've gotten infected a million times before probably but each time are like fuck it we ball !!

they're actually decent at piercing now though. they've got the routine down and can name the technical term for like every piercing imaginable

Lasko

3 total. 2 lobe + 1 helix

lasko love of my life did his helix himself but like. horribly. it was shortly after he left his parents place so idk he was running off adrenaline a little

he is not a super adventurous man but he was having a moment and figured it couldn’t hurt That bad.

tried to do it with a sewing needle in his bathroom mirror

it did infact hurt that bad. bro had to stop halfway through to take a breather like helix piercings hurt so bad if you’re doing it on ur own especially if you don't kno wtf you're doing

he powered through it though and im so proud of him

ASHER OMG

11 total

5 lobe 3 helix 1 industrial

he’s also a self proclaimed expert piercer

except his pain tolerance in Low. six feet under the ground. he is in agony every single time but is like Fuck it we ball !!!!!

he is a LIAR though and tells everyone it’s like Super easy and quick to do

david knows the truth though.

asher’s first time piercing his ears was in david’s bedroom when they were teenagers

bro had a sewing needle a block of ice and the feeling of pure spite

towards what idk he had an emo phase he was having a moment like lasko🤷‍♂️

david probably incessantly told him to Not to do it because its “stupid” and “going to get insanely infected” but at some point gave up and just watched as asher attempted to stab himself in the ear as he sat criss cossed infront of davids bedroom mirror

they had radio head playing in the background because the image made me giggle.

asher ended up chickening out with the needle halfway through his ear because it hurt

david had to do it the rest of the way for him like the ally to the trans community he is 🙏

and OH MY GOD i saw these earrings at niles months ago that were like little red circles about a centimeter wide with silver paw prints on them

he wears those.

ACK damien my love

i feel like he got an industrial piercing at some point

actually you know what he actually had a shit ton of ear piercings

day to day though he takes them out all you see are a ring of little holes in his ear because they kept getting caught on his clothes + he wears glasses and he hates how it feels when the click against things

he keeps them in at night through and will wear them for special occasions

ok these get less detailed from here on out

elliot : left eyebrow piercing + gauged ears

guy : ok this is based off some like fanart i saw of him that i actually can’t find now that im looking for it but i think he has a double eyebrow piercing (whoever has made fanart of him like that im kissing u on the face ur like sooo real for that one bro.)

vincent : SNAKE BITES. also like small gauges

milo : i think !! he has a septum im not sure though

ok im like atually way to tired to continue i just really like body modification have i made that clear enough.