#I thought some of them would be beginning and arguably the luci one is but ehhhh

[ace-malarky]

sitting at 11/100 of the scenes done :3

Very much just have one left of this month but uhhhh yeah no I added in the fun three of the next set bc I'm not staying focused on one thing we know this

n like normally I roll dice to decide which scenes are next but there's always a shapeshifter one so that was settled and I want to write more of the mercenary mages so that one was settled for mist worlds and uh

yeah I rolled dice for the dnd one and we got Chant! who was also in last month lmao but her and Mav have the most unwritten scenes so like this is good. I love my little liar girl <3

the other two of next set are birthday presents bc we gotta but like. well. one of them will be fun??

the other one will have too much information and I will feel constrained but at least I won't have to be clever

anyway they can slip in at the start of September. I'm not asking for those a month early

[pennyserenade]

i have thought in great detail about coriolanus and sejanus, and whether or not coriolanus ever really liked sejanus. i think that the novel/movie are purposefully constructed to make this ambiguous, but i prefer to veer on the side of "yes, he did."

coriolanus' way of loving people was...lacking, to say the least. even with tigris, he thought awful, mean things about her, but it was evident he cared very much for her. the problem with coriolanus was not that he couldn't love -- it was that he could not love without first being assured that his investment would yield positive results for him. at least, he could not readily admit to himself that he was loving until he knew it was going to work out for him.

his character is very succinctly summed up by sejanus, when he tells him, "I remember that from school, watching you watch other people. Pretending you weren't. And choosing the moments you weighed in so carefully" (397). without fully knowing the totality of it, sejanus got it all too right: coriolanus took people in, measured them out, decided what they meant to him, and weighed in when he thought it'd benefit him. coriolanus was calculated in all things, most of all in love—a thing he knew made you vulnerable.

but that's not to say what coriolanus said to himself was the exact same thing as what he felt. if it was, i do not believe he would've done half the things he had done for sejanus--even given the prospect of reward in the end. this is part of what makes coriolanus descent into evil so heartbreaking: a part of him was good. he did want for connection and comfort, even if he had a real fucked up way of going about getting it. coriolanus was a dog that bit without fully knowing why; it was a protective instinct he used, because so much of his life had been filled with loss already.

in the book, after coriolanus snuck his father's handkerchief with lucy gray's scent into the tank of snakes, he went to sejanus' house. this is an incredible detail that so many people tend to overlook when they talk about coriolanus and sejanus' friendship. the beginning of the chapter reads:

"What had he done? What on earth had he done? His heart raced as he blindly turned down one street and then another, trying to make sense of his actions. He couldn't think clearly but had the dreadful feeling he'd crossed some line that could not be uncrossed" (287).

we start this chapter with a frenzied, rattled coriolanus, one terribly afraid of what he had just done and the consequences this action might have later. he was scared and isolated, and he didn't know what to do. a little further on, collins writes: "His feet had carried him far from home, but he realized the Plinth apartment was just a few minutes away. Why not pop in?" (288).i find this construction of words to be fascinating, especially in relation to coriolanus--a character we have come to known as calculated and precise, even in moments when he has to think on his feet. one could argue that during this part of the book, and in this state, it makes sense that coriolanus might wander that far from his home absent-mindedly. it shows how out of touch with himself he had become, and just how much the act he had just committed disorientated him. but i think it was more than that. i think coriolanus wanted to go to the plinth's house, that he was seeking comfort after he had done something incredibly dangerous (something, arguably, that sejanus might have done), and he could not admit it to himself. and his original intention had been to see sejanus, but sejanus was asleep.

the fact that collins wrote "his feet had carried him" and "he realized" is so brilliant. i’ve got lots of opinions about why she chose to write the book in a third person point of view. one of the reasons i think she did it has to do with the fact that coriolanus was distancing himself from himself--shedding culpability through phrases such as these, especially in moments like this. coriolanus did love sejanus, but he simply could not admit it to himself because sejanus was not a safe or wise investment to make. coriolanus refused to give credence to his need for him, and it ended up killing the boy in the long run.

[tulipsinthedas]

Just finished binging the Fallout tv show and 🤯 I've got so many thoughts running through this little brain of mine. So here's a very long rant no one asked for. Maybe I'll make a more digestible version later. Obviously SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Be warned!

First off - the lore. So many interesting things were added into the lore by this show that I find so fascinating, as well as theories I've had that were touched upon. All of which makes this very exciting but also leaves me DESPERATE for season two. The main thing that has really stuck with me is the confirmation that Vault-Tec were the ones to drop the bombs like hello??? I've always had an inkling ever since I started delving into fallout lore a good year or two ago that they were behind everything, but finally having it confirmed is so fun. Of course, some people out there are going to be irritated (L take) but this imo will make replays so much more interesting. Same with the addition of ghouls needing medication to keep from becoming feral. Although this begs some questions; what is the medicine? Is it just radaway, or something else entirely? Maybe it's connected to whatever Hancock used to ghoulify himself? Or maybe it's connected to Doctor Barrows' research into ghouls fom Fallout 3? Idk! But I hope it's answered in season 2.

Cooper being the inspiration behind the iconic vault boy mascot absolutely gagged me. It was kinda hinted at even in the beginning at the kids birthday party but I was still surprised. Pleasantly, of course. Other smaller things, like the BOS branding and helmets opening up, among other things, were also fun touches that develop the lore in ways that the games probably never would have. It's small things like this that despite livening up the wasteland, would be unnecessary uses of resources from a game-development standpoint. So I think if season 2 ends up being a banger like season 1, we could see a lot more tiny additions to the lore like this!

Secondly - the characters. I don't even know where to start. They were written so well which is such a critical part of a good series. Lucy, despite everything she goes through, stays true to her morals and by doing so, probably unknowingly, is changing those around her. Despite being stubborn, she's willing to listen and understand other viewpoints and adapt herself. It's so refreshing to see a main female lead who isn't written as either weak and naive or strong and boneheaded; she'd a perfect mix of both. I also appreciate them not making her a total push over, even in the beginning before she is given any reason to change. She grows, but never fails to stay true to herself. Plus the whole sex positive thing is an amazing touch to add as well, especially for a woman.

And while on this topic, Maximus is such a cutie pie. Writing characters that are selflessly aligned can definitely be a hit or miss, and without properly being fleshed out, can be one-dimensional, but I never felt that way with him. Despite trying to help others and be a good person, he still has flaws and does feels selfish things. They took the trope of the knight in shining armor, literally, and gave him actual human characteristics that made him feel real. Underneath his heroic demeanor, he's just a little guy who likes slippers and vault popcorn. Who just wants to be somewhere safe away from war and danger, to be where he can just relax and not have to worry. And his romance arc with Lucy is just way too cute. From the moment they met in Filly I knew something was going to happen and I was so excited when they finally kissed lmao. The sweet, innocent love at first sight thing they have going on is the perfect dichotomy to all the bloodshed and heavy themes going on in the rest of the show.

And finally, Cooper is reviving the inner ghoul lover in me and I cannot complain at all. As a certified Hancock lover, I feel seen ✋ also Walton Goggins is just incredibly fine. But that's besides the point. His character is arguably the best written because despite being an undeniably evil person, he is still likeable. 200 years have turned him into a man who had to lose his humanity to survive, and the pre-war flashbacks being shown through his eyes give him, and the story, so much depth. Despite his ways, you can't help but still feel for him, to still root for him and hope that he still has a little bit of that humanity left within him. Which imo was shown multiple times; for example him not killing Maximus in episode two even though he easily could have done so. And the fact that he's still searching for his family all these years later? When he was asked what has been keeping him going so long, I think they are his reason. Whether he is searching to reunite or to exact revenge on Barb for dropping the bombs while him and Janey were outside idk. But it makes his story all the more heartbreaking. I also love the writing for Norm, Moldaver, Dane, and so many others, but this is already too long ass it is.

Overall, this series was so good and I'll be impatiently awaiting season 2! Some things I'm hoping to see next seasons are super mutants for sure, as well as synths and more of the enclave. I think they went easy this season to test the waters and see just how interested people are. And now that they know people are very interested, I think they'll be more willing to invest a larger budget, and add more. Rant over!

[gralunaisland]

juvia Wasn't Needed

by: @perfectlyimperfectcharacterfan

"juvia really wasn't needed plot wise. Some would argue she help[ed] the team enter the Tower of Heaven but I'm pretty sure they would have found a way without her. Same for Battle of Fairy tail. she literally accomplished nothing there. she was absent from Edolas and Oracion Seis.

I'd ignore the filler arcs because they are trash, but in the Daphnee arc she didn't do anything either, besides blindly defending Gray even though he was 100% in the wrong (and I say this asa massive Gray fan). In Tenrou she arguably dragged the whole fight down with her obsession with Gray. she only saved Meredy because she was about to kill Gray. And it was entirely JUVIA'S fault. If she could actually put her feelings for Gray aside in a very dangerous fight, Gray would never have been so close to die to begin with.

In GMG, she didn't care about her own guild's reputation, only to be with Gray. I'll never get over her LOSING A BATTLE IN WATER. she could have changed in water and force everyone out, but got distracted by Gray, again. her winning would have prevented Minerva from torturing Lucy. she was absent from Sun village. Only in Tartaros did she do something remotely useful by killing Keith. But that was only because he was a threat to Gray.

Also the whole fight against Invel in Alvarez was forced af. It's not indicative of juvia's usefuleness. Invel would have used anyone around."

My Two Cents

Huge thank you to @perfectlyimperfectcharacterfan (I'll refer to them as "Perfectly" for ease now in this post), a delightful regular on my blog who always comments insightful thoughts about juvia and gr///via on my posts, who sent this to me in a dm and allowed me to make a post about it!

They did an amazing job parsing through the arcs, and I really don't need to add anything, but I'll just slide in my two cents at the end here.

About the BOFT arc, one could say that juvia did manage to free her and Cana from Freid's spell, but as I've said before, that was just her earning brownie points, and she kept none of the alleged "character growth" from that. Plus in the end, it was Mirajane who had to defeat Freid anyway, so her "sacrifice" really was useless.

I love what Perfectly said about the Daphne arc. I completely and totally agree with them (and I actually have an old post about this exact topic here if y'all want to read it). I couldn't have said it better myself, that juvia blindly defended Gray despite his wrongdoings, showing how she really only "cared" about Gray and not the rest of the guildmates that got horribly hurt by his stupid mistakes. That's not trust, that's insane obsession that keeps her believing Gray is infallible and perfect no matter what he does, which is so toxic towards Gray and her and everyone around them.

In the GMG, like Perfectly touched on, juvia didn't care about the guild's reputation. she didn't care that for 7 years, Fairy Tail struggled, was bullied, was mocked, was actually oppressed by the other guilds into paying absurd taxes, because they lost their most powerful members to Tenrou Island. Not only that, but they mourned for years because their friends and family had disappeared, and they didn't know if they were dead or alive. All of this hurt and trauma FT went through couldn't matter less to juvia lockser.

True FT member my butt; she doesn't love any of them, not even Gray. she didn't care enough to actually try in the GMG, and she actually wished for her FT guildmates to get hurt so badly that they had to drop out so she could participate with Gray. The wickedness of her heart is astounding. And yeah, she totally whiffed what should've been the easiest match up for her in the water battle, leading to Lucy being abused just as Perfectly said, and she also threw the Hide and Seek match by being a "love" obsessed idiot as she always is.

And let's not forget that after the GMG during the dragon battle, juvia literally gets Gray killed because she's not paying attention to anything except for Gray as always, even in the midst of a life-and-death situation, and makes it so that Gray has to save her butt for her. I mean, how much worse could this ship get, when it literally causes one of them (the victim, even) to die needlessly???

On the whole note of juvia's uselessness, one could even go as far to say that juvia is an active hinderance and blight on the lives of the people around her. she really constantly oozes toxicity and sucks the life out of everyone she comes into contact with, most of all Gray through her manipulation and abuse, but also all the women in Gray's life, as well as her fellow FT members. she is a weak link, a liability, an impediment, a stone dragging down and drowning everyone, including herself. she will never notice or care about that fact because she gets what she wants in the end, what she thinks is good: Gray's brow-beaten, brainwashed "affection".

No one wins when they rely on her. she is a parasite.

Anyway, gigantic shoutout to Perfectly again for taking the time to think so deeply about all these things, for sharing their thoughts with me, and for allowing me to share them with all of you! juvia really is a useless character, and the Fairy Tail story and her guildmates would've been infinitely better off without her.

[fkevin073]

Hiiiii! So where do you land in "coryo was bad since the beginning" or "things are way more complex than that". Personally, I go with the second one. Also, I have to say it again, I love your fics so much, thanks for keeping snowbaird love alive. I love your Tumblr

omg hiii anon!! such an interesting question. I think I'm definitely leaning towards the second option like you, but I really don't think it's that simple either.

I think in a way it's kind of both? Like I genuinely believe Coriolanus had the capacity to be good, and that there were some parts of him that were redeemable. I think he could have changed, if he wanted to.

Experiences shape people, that's for sure, but I think it's definitely up to the individual on how to respond and how they allow those experiences to shape them/their view of the world. For example, Tigris grew up in the exact same circumstances as Coriolanus (arguably worse, considering it's hinted that she sold her body to feed her family, something which Coriolanus would never do) and she grew up infinitely kinder than him. I do think at his nature that Coriolanus was a bit snobbish, pretentious, selfish, possessive, etc.

Like the experiences he had and the people around him like Dr. Gaul were certainly awful and definitely impacted him, but I think what makes Coriolanus such a brilliant villain is that he also had exposure to good. He had a loving family (namely Tigris, who wasn't a biggot like Grandma's), he had a friend who genuinely thought of him as a brother (Sejanus), and while Lucy Gray may have been using him a little (after all who can blame her) she also genuinely loved him.

Coriolanus had plenty of chances to do better and be better - he just decided not to. That's where I think the character/inherently being bad part comes in. Because if he had been a less selfish person, or learned from Sejanus or tigris or Lucy Gray, he wouldn't have gone that way. I've seen too many people blame Lucy Gray or the war or Dr. Gaul or even Highbottom for how Coriolanus turned out, and while I think that's true to a degree (though Lucy gray has never done anything wrong in her life ever, my baby) I think blaming them entirely kind of ignores Coriolanus' free will and culpability in it all.

Sorry, that was a long rant! But yeah, I definitely agree with you that it's a lot more complicated than some people make it seem.

[saberamane]

Now that I'm home from work, here's my thoughts on Assassin's Creed Brotherhood.

Overall, loved the game. I love the fact that you literally start off where you ended in AC2, and that you get to see the grand escape from the Vatican. I wish there was a bit more story before Cesare's attack, allow you to really feel the victory, you know? Mainly because the fact the Cesare attacks you literally the day after you beat up his dad and took the apple seems a bit...fast? Like how did he not only get informed of the incident, but he was able to rally his army at Monteriggioni with siege towers and everything? I don't think he'd actually be able to mobilize that fast.

I do love that when Ezio wakes up in Rome he immediately begins to fuck with the Borgia. The day he wakes up he kills an executioner and burns a Borgia tower?? He certainly works fast.

I do love the 'recruits' part of this, how you can find people to become assassin's, send them on missions that help you get money and items, I only wish that you could continue to personalize their outfit after they become Assassin's. And maybe give us a selection of weapons they can use? Instead of them basically being copy and paste.

Story wise, I think they could have given us a bit more background on some of the other 'big' assassinations, like Juan Borgia. He's related to Cesare and the pope, but we only know him as having a risque party and being a banker? Give us more reasons to hate this guy and want him dead! Overall, he didn't seem like an 'evil' guy.

The Romulus lairs were fun, but overall kind of pointless? You never ran into any of these guys actually harassing citizens or anything, so they didn't really have a plot point that we could see. They could have made them random encounters in the more ruin-like area's, like the hundred eyes thieves who would randomly attack you.

Fuck the checkpoint system. The whole point is to save your progress so if you die you can 'reload' to that point in time. Meaning if you fail a 100% synch requirement after a checkpoint, reloading should make it that you still have that progress and not make you REDO THE WHOLE FUCKING THING. I'm looking at you flying machine. If I'm at 100% synch so far, get a checkpoint, fail the 100% synch and then die, I should be reloading at my checkpoint with the same status as when I got the checkpoint. Meaning health, weapons, notoriety, and SYNCHRONIZATION!

The Copernicus Conspiracy was kind of pointless. It was just a bunch of assassinations of 'important' npc's.

The Da Vinci Disappearance, however, was great. Lots of story and purpose behind it, and the missions were fun and interesting. 10/10.

I also liked the modern bits. Leaving the Animus and walking around as Desmond, seeing the modern differences in Monteriggioni, was great. And also added subtle characterization. Shaun and Becca were friendly and joking with each other through email, Lucy was a bit more 'mission oriented' trying to stay serious. And poor Desmond often got ignored. He basically just got the schedule and emails that were sent to everyone. And I get that they had limited dialogue options, but after you spoke to everyone about 3 times they began to just brush Desmond off. I would say arguably Desmond is doing the hardest work, putting his very mental state on the line for these people (with little to no actual, genuine, consent from Desmond) and they can't even have meaningful conversations with him? I don't think anyone really ever asked if he was alright??

And finally, the ending. Honestly, from the climb of the castello to find the apple to the literal end of the game, was very rushed. A 'point of no return' if you will, that is not even hinted at really. And literal years pass from one mission to the next. It's all very quick and leaves little to no emotional connection to what's happening. One scene Cesare is being arrested, and the next he's leading an attack? When did he get out of jail? Did he get out himself or did he have help? And how, exactly, did Ezio know just from the apple? I don't believe the apple would have straight up said 'yo, Cesare is out of jail and attacking Viana'. That part didn't really make sense. And getting the idea to 'ask' the apple because Cesare said something along the lines of 'no chains will hold me' or whatever? Why did that make Ezio believe there was cause for concern of Cesare being freed? I'm sure a lot of people say that when being arrested.

To end this, I just want to say that I know it's an older game, and bound to have issues. I'm not saying it's a bad game, but I am saying that some of the issues could have been patched by now if Ubisoft cared to. And those patches might make it a better experience. But overall, it's a great game with 1 great DLC. (I just wish there was more Leonardo interaction! <3)

[eldritchw1tch]

I, too, saw the videos on social media and thought this looked incredibly fun, especially after having come to love Dracula so dearly from finally keeping up with Dracula through Re: Dracula this year. And I was prepared for it to be fun, and silly, and not faithful to the book! A friend who saw me told me there was a lot of abridgment, and with a cast as small as theirs, I was prepared for the way roles would have to be double cast and details changed, etc. I was prepared to enjoy it as a fun metatext of Dracula.

Reader, I hated it.

I struggle to begin to articulate the depths to which I did not enjoy this play, which began very early on in the production and only got worse from there. Other people seemed to be enjoying it, which I found both frankly baffling and, honestly, a bit offensive (see: uncomfortably transmisogynistic man-in-a-dress-is-an-unattractive-woman style humor, the GENERAL misogyny even aside from that, some pretty weird takes on Renfield, and more). My first and foremost comment is that if you do not enjoy what I have just described, you will likely not enjoy this play. Second, if you're interested in this play BECAUSE you care for/enjoy/have an attachment to the original book of Dracula (as I imagine is likely, given as I am writing this on the We're All Reading Dracula Together For Fun website), I have horrible news for you: as far as I can tell, this play hates the book of Dracula.

Look, the list of crimes this play commits against Dracula is long, but let me give you a few of them:

It is not Mina, but LUCY who is engaged to Jonathan Harker

Minor, but Lucy's last name isn't even kept correct? Instead of Westenra, she is Westfeldt.

Lucy's polycule is almost entirely obliterated from the text—there is a minor plot point in which a version of them (also with names changed) appears, but they are all awful and don't recur after a party scene where all three are kind of assholes about having been rejected by Lucy in favor of Jonathan

Not a crime as such, but context for the crime about to be listed: Mina and Lucy are written as sisters, with Lucy as the older one, and the bad news—

Mina is awful. She is, from jump, portrayed as stupid, illiterate, unattractive, foolish, ugly, desperate, despised by all, and more. Every one of her good qualities is passed over to Lucy. She is played by a man in drag, which is not inherently a problem; the PROBLEM is that they have taken a female character who in the original text is lovely, intelligent, and widely beloved by all who meet her, cast a man to play her, and then spent more than half the play actively mocking her for it. She does not get to go even one scene without being laughed at for some new fault she is given. The play makes Van Helsing into a woman as well, and crafts an entirely new character in the form of Mina and Lucy's father—but why is it so determined to do away with the virtues and goodnesses of arguably THE most important female character from the original text? Truly—WHY? It baffles me. This play feels incredibly cynical—it's using progressive, queer, and camp aesthetics, and making choices that sound on paper like they would be interesting, but in the theater I felt blindsided and taken advantage of. The play does not love the original text—it feels like it's using it only for its name. If they wanted to tell their own story, that's fine—but it feels painful to watch these characters be mangled past recognition and then paraded around with almost-their names. They changed so much of the story! They began changing the names! It feels like they wanted to write something original—then why NOT just do that? Call it Dracula, keep him as the central figure, even take some plot elements to echo the original, but give them their own new names! Stop fucking Weekend At Bernie's-ing them! Let them be something new—it would hurt less to watch!

I need to go to bed and not keep writing this review of a play that frustrated me so deeply, but yeah. If you love Dracula, I know this looks really fun. I fell for it. But if you love Dracula, I believe very strongly that you will hate it too, and I want better for you than that. Godspeed.

This is book canon now and nobody can change my mind.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

A lot of y'all won't see this edit because of how reblogs work, but I feel it is important to share what I've recently learned about this production:

Mina and Van Helsing are played by the same person.

Thank you and you're welcome. May you all be blessed with crabs.

[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 18

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

Previous Chapter: Chapter 17

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

Thomas had always enjoyed swimming. He used to be a competitive swimmer in school, and still considered going back to it at university. He was fast and he guessed he’d need to slow down for Alastair, who was not a frequent swimmer at all. While Alastair was fast and nimble on the land, his swimming skills appeared only enough to not drown. Which arguably was the most important when it came to swimming, but Thomas had to be careful, he didn’t want to exhaust Alastair or leave him behind.

‘I don’t usually like swimming all that much,’ Alastair admitted.

‘Really? Then why did you come?’ Thomas asked.

A wicked gleam appeared in Alastair’s dark eyes and he smiled. ‘For the scenery, of course.’

Thomas guessed it was the first time they’d seen each other wearing only swim shorts, although he had seen some of Alastair’s chest after Tessa had bandaged his shoulder. The wound looked closed now, but Thomas knew it was still sensitive.

While Alastair was skinny, he was also lightly toned. Not muscular like Thomas was, but elegant and graceful. He was beautiful. He remembered Alastair telling him he’d gained weight lately because of his new medication, but if this was his body after gaining weight, just how skinny had he been before?

And although Alastair tried to act casual, Thomas caught him staring at him too. Truth to be told, he was a little insecure about his body, and what Alastair would think of it. Thomas knew he was muscular, since he worked out so much, which he knew was considered desirable, but he often felt he was a bit too tall. Not to mention he hated the stretch marks that had appeared on his back, and worried what Alastair would think of those. His mother had freaked out the first time she’d seen them until she’d realized they were stretch marks. They were a faded pink now, although they used to be a bright red like wounds. Hopefully in time they’d fade to white. Of course, after three pregnancies, his mother had them too but everyone seemed to associate stretch marks with pregnancy when it was also completely normal to get them after gaining weight or growing very fast. Thomas sometimes wished he’d known that sooner.

‘My parents would often take me and my sisters swimming when I recovered from one of my fevers,’ Thomas said.

‘In the winter as well?’ Alastair asked. ‘Isn’t that cold?’

‘At the indoor pool,’ Thomas clarified. ‘I always had lots of fun there. There were water slides, a wave simulator bath, tropical plants to create a nice atmosphere. There was this one water slide that was in the dark and Barbara was scared of it so she always claimed I was too small for the water slide and wasn’t allowed to take it either.

Often when I was sick, it was something I looked forward to because I knew I could go to the pool when I got better. When I was older and no longer sick, I started swimming competitively. Didn’t you go swimming as a child?’

‘Not often,’ Alastair said. ‘Cordelia would go with Lucie and her parents sometimes.’

‘I remember getting these invites to classmates’ birthday parties. It’s a surprise what we’re doing, but bring your swimsuit,’ Thomas said. ‘Of course, I could only go when I was well enough, but it was a very common activity at my school.’

‘I was that child who never got invited. Which was fine, I didn’t really like being around other children anyway. My mother couldn’t swim, and my father didn’t really go have fun with us. I did take swimming lessons, passed my exams, but beyond that I didn’t really go swimming. My mother started taking classes not so long ago, though, so she’s learnt the basics. She found a class for adult women and even made some friends there.’

‘Maybe you should give it a chance,’ Thomas said. ‘Unfortunately, the pool I went to as a child closed. They built a mall there, I think. but I’m sure there are other pools I could take you someday.’

‘It’s not so bad,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Maybe if we survive this summer, I’ll take you up on that offer.’

Thomas felt himself become a little warm inside, despite the cold water. Here, spending time together in the lake and in the woods was nice, but Thomas wanted to show Alastair all his favorite places, go to the museum together, go swimming like he used to do. He wanted to introduce Alastair to his sisters, who would undoubtedly like him very much. He hoped they wouldn’t be too protective of him though, Thomas did not think Alastair would react well if Genie started threatening him. He made a mental note to send a warning to his sisters that there would be no threatening Alastair.

‘Do you play any sports?’ Thomas asked.

‘Currently not much beyond generally trying to stay active and taking very long walks,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Cordelia and I used to take dance classes together for several years, Father thought it important we learnt how to dance ballroom. The memory is a bit tainted because it was something he demanded of us, but truth to be told I did like dancing and I was quite good at it. We both were.’

‘Oh, that sounds nice,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ve always thought it would be nice to learn partner dancing, but I never got around to it. Besides, I’m a bit clumsy on my feet so I’d be stepping on my partner’s toes all the time.’

‘That doesn’t happen as often as people think,’ Alastair said. ‘I think there’s a dancing association at the university, so if you want to learn that might be a nice and affordable place to take classes. But you could also join a swimming team there if you’d prefer. Or both, but you’ll need to find time to study too.’

‘Is that something you struggled with?’ Thomas asked.

‘Not really. I had no social life beyond my ex boyfriend and I don’t need much time to study. Magic memory and all. But there were definitely a few students who were partying too much to keep up.’

‘I’m not really one for partying, so that won’t be a problem,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I didn’t realize there were so many options, all I heard about student life was either lots of partying or study until you drop.’

‘Oh no there are definitely options,’ Alastair said. ‘I’m just too antisocial for most of them. I don’t like being around people anyway. One on one is fine, but I’ve never liked groups. And I absolutely despite it when people are loud. What else do you like to do beside swimming?’

Thomas could recognize what Alastair described. He had always been shy as a child, and had never really grown over that. He liked being around people, but mostly in small groups.

‘I like music,’ Thomas said. ‘I play guitar, but I really like writing my own songs.’

He’d never told anyone that. He wasn’t sure why exactly. He’d started playing the guitar after growing over his sickness. He’d tried the saxophone before that when he was younger, but his frequent fevers made it difficult to keep up. To learn an instrument you had to practice daily, and that hadn’t worked out.

He’d started playing guitar at fourteen and he’d written lots of songs, most of which he’d discarded. He never believed they were any good, and he wasn’t very good at singing. He’d practiced, of course, and he knew how to pitch his voice, but he just didn’t sound that good or interesting. He could be a decent back up vocalist, he guessed, but then he’d need to find someone to actually sing his songs.

‘Really?’ Alastair asked. ‘What kind of songs?’

‘Oh, all sorts. Ballads, sad songs mostly, I guess. Love songs too. I’ve never told anyone before. They’re not good or anything.’

He remembered he’d written a very sappy, hopeless pining song not long after meeting Alastair. He was glad there was no remaining evidence of that ever happening, it was exactly the kind of thing Eugenia would use as blackmail. Which he guessed was why he’d never told Eugenia about his songs.

They reached the island in the middle of the lake, and sat down in the shallow water, a comfortable place to rest for a bit and talk. He could tell Alastair was getting tired, swimming was very different from walking or running and Alastair wasn’t used to it. Perhaps it was hard on his shoulder too.

‘You told no one? Really? Why?’ Alastair asked.

‘As I said, they’re not any good,’ Thomas admitted. ‘And I can’t sing well.’

‘Maybe I could sing them for you,’ Alastair said. ‘Although it’s been a while since I’ve really sung.’

‘You sing?’ Thomas asked. He wondered what Alastair’s voice would sound like when he sung.

‘I used to,’ Alastair said. ‘I played the piano too, growing up, but I haven’t played in years.’

‘Why did you stop?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair sighed. ‘I couldn’t find joy in playing music anymore. In anything really. Although I did listen to music a lot, and I do sing along occasionally. But apart from that… I just couldn’t bring myself to play anymore, it hurt too much. I wanted to get back to it, but so far I haven’t found that joy.’

That sounded sad. Would Thomas’ songs be able to cheer him up? Probably not, they were terrible. He would need some good music to play or sing to get back into it, not his hopeless attempts at song writing.

‘I hope you can,’ Thomas said. ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like to not be able to enjoy the things you used to.’

‘Well, sometimes interests change,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve had a lot of odd interests that changed. But in this case… I want to be able to feel the joy I once felt. I want to play, and sing your songs and feel like myself again.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with sharing any of his work, but if it would help Alastair then he would let him sing all of his songs.

‘Could you sing something? Now, I mean. If you want to, you don’t have to. I’m just really curious what you sound like.’

Thomas started rambling again, and Alastair silenced him by beginning to sing. The song would definitely sound better with accompanied by a guitar, but even on its own Alastair’s voice was beautiful. It was a bit lower than his speaking voice, but he seemed to have quite a range. Gentle, but firm and when he got farther into the song Thomas realized there was a lot of power behind Alastair’s voice. It was a romantic song he was singing, did this describe how Alastair felt about him? He didn’t catch everything, but some of the lyrics stuck with him.

Never opened myself this way.

Life is ours, we live it our way.

All these words I don’t just say

And nothing else matters

‘Trust I seek, and I find in you,’ Thomas repeated. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

Alastair smiled. ‘I do find trust in you. Even if it is something I still find difficult. I’m trying.’

‘What song is that?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair stared at him in shock. ‘You mean to tell me you don’t know this song? You can’t be serious.’

‘It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t name it,’ Thomas said. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s Nothing else Matters by Metallica,’ Alastair said.

‘That does sounds familiar,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I’ve never listened much to Metallica.’

‘You should, their music is very good, and it’s very melodic for a metal band. That’s what I like the most, when music is both heavy and melodic.’

‘What other music do you like?’ Thomas asked.

‘Breaking Benjamin must be one of my favorite bands. You probably haven’t heard of them, they’re not very famous. They’re probably best described as alternative metal. Very angst heavy lyrics, things I can relate to. And I like Metallica, Skillet, Three Days Grace. Within Temptation and Nightwish occasionally. What do you listen to?’

‘I like Green Day,’ Thomas said. ‘And As It Is, which you might not know because they’re not very well known, but they’re a pop punk band.’

‘I don’t know As it Is. I do know Green Day though. I’ve always liked Boulevard of Broken Dreams.’

‘Me too,’ Thomas said. ‘But 21 guns is my favorite from Green Day.’

They talked some more about music, and Thomas made a note to listen to some of Alastair’s favorite songs when they got back. He hadn’t had the time or inspiration to write songs lately, with everything happening, but he wanted to write something for Alastair. If he ever found the time in between trying not to die.

Truth to be told, Thomas found it difficult to have people worry about him so much, risk themselves for his sake. He didn’t want to die and was grateful he had people who were willing to help him, but he hated how all this was because of him. He hated being taken care of, being someone’s burden. It was something Thomas had always struggled with. When his mother had quit her job because Thomas was sick so often it wasn’t doable for both his parents to work. Since his mother was a primary school teacher, it had made sense for her to quit working as his father made more money and worked more hours. When his sisters would come straight home after school to keep him company rather than spend time with their own friends. When his father would come home early as often as he could, passing on opportunities at work.

It wasn’t just that the amount of attention could be suffocating, it was because he didn’t want to be difficult, he didn’t want other people to change their life, their habits for him. But as a sick child, he’d had no choice but to let people take care of him. Everyone had had to adapt to his sickness and even in a loving family such as his own, it wasn’t easy to have a child who was ill so often. Sometimes Thomas feared he’d taken up too much attention and had taken that away from Barbara and Eugenia.

‘You’re thinking of something,’ Alastair said. ‘Something that is bothering you.’

‘It’s nothing,’ Thomas said.

It wouldn’t be fair to complain about his childhood to Alastair. Compared to what he had been through, Thomas had wanted for nothing.

‘It’s not nothing,’ Alastair said. ‘I can tell when you tense up, when you’re thinking of something hurtful. Is it something I did?’

‘No. You didn’t do anything wrong.’ Thomas brushed his hand across Alastair’s cheek. ‘You’re perfect.’

‘Then what is it?’ Alastair looked away. ‘Look, I know how difficult it is to talk about how you feel, how vulnerable it makes you feel. But I can tell when things are bothering you, I know when people are upset. If you don’t want to share, at least tell me you’d rather not talk about it. Because people always like to pretend they’re fine but they’re not and…’

Alastair didn’t finish his sentence, he seemed upset too now. Thomas felt horrible. He didn’t want Alastair to worry, he didn’t want to hurt him. It made sense Alastair could read people well. Thomas had always been good at reading people’s body language, but Alastair had had to deal with his father’s changing moods, anticipating them had to be how he’d survived. Of course people’s bad moods were stressful for him, because Alastair had learnt he’d get hurt when other people were stressed.

Perhaps it was better to tell, that might set Alastair’s mind at ease. Even if it was difficult, even if he did not quite understand why he felt this way.

‘I was thinking about how you’re all risking your life for me, and I find that difficult. I’ve never wanted to trouble others, I’ve never wanted to be a burden. But I also know I cannot do this without help. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you or to Cordelia or Lucie because of me.’

Alastair put his hand on Thomas’ cheek, wet from the lake water.

‘I understand. But none of this is your fault, Tom, and you’re not a burden.’

‘I’ve always felt like a burden,’ Thomas said softly. ‘I always needed to be taken care of because I was sick.’

‘Is it a burden when the people caring for you love you and gladly care for you?’ Alastair asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Thomas said. ‘With James and Matthew, I was so glad to find friends, people my own age. But James’ mother and Matthew’s mother are my mother’s best friends, so we already knew each other from a young age. We were very close when I was still a child and they would come by to keep me company when I was sick. I am grateful, but they learnt I needed to be protected and when I grew over my sickness, Matthew still believed I was meek and dependent and needed to be rescued from you. James wasn’t as bad, he never noticed I liked you because he was always reading. I think the reason we drifted apart a bit is because of that. I never dared tell them how I felt about you, and I don’t think they would have reacted well. And again, I feared my feelings would make me a burden. That was less of an issue with Lucie, so I think that’s why I’m now closer to her. It was never a problem to tell her I liked you, and that’s why she was the first person I told.’

‘I didn’t realize you’d drifted apart from them. At school, it was always the three of you,’ Alastair said.

‘True, and I still care about them, I really do. But I think they’re closer to each other than to me, and that made me feel out of place at times. I still see them and spend time with them, and we text often, but not as much as we used to. But that’s fine, I think it was for the best. I still have plenty of people around me, enough friends, and we probably work better with a little more distance anyway.’

‘I didn’t realize, that’s all,’ Alastair said. ‘Sometimes change is for the best. How are James and Matthew anyway?’

‘I haven’t contacted them a lot with everything happening, and the last few days I haven’t been able to reach them. But I’m not yet sure what to say when I do call them. Do I tell them about us? Or about what’s going on? Do I tell my sisters? I do not want anyone else to come here and put themselves in danger.’

‘I have not yet decided what I will tell my mother either,’ Alastair said. ‘I did tell her I liked you, before I realized you liked me as well. But the past few days I haven’t been able to reach her, or Risa. Wait a moment, you said you couldn’t reach James and Matthew.’

‘Nor my sisters,’ Thomas said. ‘And my father said he was unable to reach uncle Gabriel. I don’t think uncle Will has had any success calling uncle Jem or your father either. Which is odd. You’d think out of all these people, at least someone would pick up a phone.’

‘Or perhaps that is part of what Tatiana is doing,’ Alastair said. ‘Isolating us so we cannot call anyone for help.’

Thomas tried to think that through. If he were in Tatiana’s shoes, he definitely wouldn’t want them to be able to contact uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily. Nor uncle Jem, he guessed. Matthew and James were no threat to her, nor were his sisters, so he wasn’t sure why they were unable to contact them. Nor did he suspect Alastair’s mother was a threat. Perhaps it was simply easier to cut them off from everyone.

‘That makes sense,’ Thomas said. ‘But if we can’t call them, how far away from the town and the forest would we have to be if we were to reach people again?’ Thomas wasn’t so sure it would be that simple though.

‘I’m not sure,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps it’s like the land in between, except bigger. Perhaps something Tatiana did will not only cut off our ability to contact people who aren’t here, but will also prevent us from leaving.’ He paused. ‘I assumed there would be no point in leaving, because whatever is happening to you would simply follow you wherever you go. But perhaps Tatiana does need you here.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He hadn’t considered running, didn’t think there would be a point to it. How could you run from a powerful being? But perhaps Alastair had a point and he was running from Tatiana. Perhaps that powerful being would simply take Jesse back if Tatiana failed, and that would be it. The thought brought no comfort. He would never want Jesse to suffer. None of this was his fault either.

‘It makes me wonder why that being picked Jesse over me,’ Thomas said. ‘It must have liked Tatiana a lot better than my parents, and I think when Jesse died Tatiana already knew what was happening. I think she assumed I would be the one to die, and when Jesse died and I didn’t, she got mad with my father.

But wouldn’t it have made more sense to take me instead of Jesse? Since Tatiana knew more about the deal, knew about the creature, knew how to barter with it?’

Alastair grimaced. ‘No. I think that is exactly why it chose Jesse. I don’t think the thief of souls intended to keep Jesse forever. If it had taken you, your parents would have been heart broken, they would grieve you, they would have sustained a wound that would never heal. But they would not have tried to get you back, not at the cost of someone else’s life.

Tatiana, on the other hand, would do anything for her son, and seems to hate everyone else. It doesn’t matter to her that lots of people will die, souls forfeit, as long as she can have her son back. She knew what was going on, what would happen to her son. Perhaps she tried to appease it, to make sure you would be chosen and not Jesse. But that’s exactly why it chose Jesse. Because with Jesse dead, Tatiana would do anything to bring him back, and she would exchange your life for Jesse. And the thief of souls could have asked her for anything it wanted, anything else she would realistically be able to give her.’

Thomas stared at Alastair. Everything he said made perfect sense. He had been looking at this from the wrong angle, from his own perspective of someone who made decisions based on emotion, based on his love for the people around him. But the thief of souls wasn’t like that, he didn’t care for Tatiana just because she liked him better than his father did. He saw her as a tool he could use. He played a strategic game and souls were the prize.

‘Why now, though?’ Thomas asked. ‘Jesse has been dead for years. If Tatiana already knew what was happening, wouldn’t she have gotten him back sooner?’

‘I think the thief of souls must have demanded much from her,’ Alastair said. ‘He could ask for anything. Do any of you know what she’s been up to the past years?’

‘She moved away from London, left her house in a state of disrepair,’ Thomas said. ‘My grandfather was incredibly rich and Tatiana inherited lots of money, so she could afford to just move around and leave her father’s house.’

Thomas knew his father and uncle Gabriel had often wondered what to do with the money inherited from their father, money he’d earned through dark deals and exploitation. Money none of them deserved. But for uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily the money had allowed them to hunt the supernatural, stop people like Benedict, since such line of work wasn’t exactly paid. His father had donated some of the money, but for them it had been convenient too since his illness meant he always needed someone around to take care of him.

‘Meaning, you don’t know where she’s been?’ Alastair asked. ‘I can’t imagine having so much money that you can just leave an entire house for several years without selling it. Honestly that should be illegal, considering how difficult it is for some people to even find a place to live.’

‘It was her father’s manor, had been in the family for a long time,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she could have even considered selling it, it was very important to Benedict. But no, we don’t know where she’s been. My father and uncle Gabriel did try to reach out to her occasionally. At the very least they called her on her birthday, but she never picked up.’

‘So these past years, maybe she had to complete other tasks first, offer him other souls, anything he could have wanted. And at some point she must have captured Grace, which I imagine made completing his requests a lot easier.’

‘How long do you think Grace has been her prisoner?’ Thomas wondered. ‘I assumed it was a recent thing, what if she’s been with Tatiana for years?’

‘No idea,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps capturing Grace is what finally allowed her to win enough favor to get back Jesse’s soul. Whatever he wanted from her, it must have been easier with a siren under her control. But I think there’s still more she must do to bring him back to life. Perhaps that child that drowned was part of it too.’

‘And when Jesse lives, I die,’ Thomas concluded.

Thomas had no idea how to fix this. How to survive without sacrificing Jesse. He knew Lucie and Cordelia wanted to kill the thief of souls, but they didn’t even know what it was. Their attention had to be on Grace right now, if anyone knew more of Tatiana’s plans it had to be her.

‘We’ll get Grace’ skin,’ Alastair promised. ‘Tomorrow. And when she is free, she can tell us all she knows of Tatiana. There must be so much Grace knows.’

‘Will you be alright?’ Thomas said. ‘After this morning… will you feel up to it? I can’t imagine how exhausting that must have been. It’s fine if you need more rest.’

‘I hope so, but if not I can function pretty well while tired. At some point you get used to it. I have good days and bad days. Today was not so good, you’re right that I’m still very tired from this morning. Such breakdowns are always exhausting, that is not something I’ve gotten used to. I would go to sleep early, maybe take some melatonin, but I’ll only have nightmares. And we don’t have the kind of time to wait for me to recover from this morning, I’ll have to do with how I function tomorrow morning.’

Thomas considered for a moment, turning a little red before looking Alastair in the eyes. Thomas had always found Alastair’s eyes beautiful, big and so dark it was difficult to tell apart the iris and the pupil. He’d never quite understood the way people obsessed over blue or green eyes, described as sapphires and emeralds in many of Lucie’s books. Green and blue eyes didn’t even look like that. Light eyes might be less common than brown eyes, but Thomas had always found dark brown eyes combined with dark hair like Alastair’s far more striking.

‘Maybe I could sleep over,’ Thomas suggested. ‘I mean, do you think that would help?’

‘I don’t know if it would help with my nightmares, but I would certainly like it if you stayed with me,’ Alastair said. ‘I like to cuddle. It is very nice when you hold me, sensory wise. So, where are we sleeping? I think my bed is bigger, we could easily both fit in there.’

Thomas wondered what Alastair meant with that it was nice, sensory wise. It sounded like something Lucie, who was autistic, might say, but Alastair had not mentioned such a thing, had he?

‘Alright, then I’ll sleep over at your place,’ Thomas said. ‘And I’ll cuddle with you as much as you want. And when you have a nightmare, I’ll be there to remind you that you’re safe.’

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 60s

So the 60s is the era that Wandavision pulls most heavily from for it’s inspiration. So much so that one could make the argument that each of the first three episodes are all set in the 1960s. Episode one pulls from the early 60s with multiple Dick Van Dyke refences, episode two is very Bewitched inspired, and episode three is aesthetically very similar to The Brady Bunch which started in ‘69. As such it was hard to narrow down the list for this decade and I had to get creative in some ways. 

1. The Andy Griffith Show (1960 - 1968)

The Andy Griffith Show gets kind of a bad rap now a days for being, supposedly, a conservative’s wet dream. People claiming it as such have apparently never actually seen the series. Oh yes, it’s very much set in white rural 60s America and will occasionally present the obliviously outdated joke, but the story of a widowed sheriff being the only sane man in a small town full of lovable lunatics, who prefers to solve his and others problems with negotiation and hair brained schemes as opposed to violence has far more in common with modern day Steven Universe than whatever genocidal fantasy fake rednecks have in their heads.  

As the gif above shows Andy Griffith was very subtlety progressive for its time. Andy was a stanch pacifist, pro-gun control, treated drug addicts and prisoners with respect, and all the women he would date had careers, ect. and so on. It’s not a satire making any sort of grand political statements but the series had a moral center that was far more left than many realize. 

But if it’s not a satire, then what type of comedy is it? 

The Andy Griffith Show excels in what I like to call,��‘awkward comedy’. See everyone in Mayberry is far too nice to just come out and tell a character they’re making an ass of themselves, so therefore whoever is the idiot punching bag of the episode’s focus must slowly unravel as everyone looks on in helpless pity until said character realizes the folly of their ways and the townsfolk come together to make them feel happy and accepted once more. Wandavision takes this polite idyllic awkwardness and plays it up for horror instead of laughs.  

2. The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961 - 1966)

The creators of Wandavision actually met with Dick Van Dyke himself to pick his brain and learn how sitcoms were made back then. Paul Bentley also took inspiration from Van Dyke in his performance of the sitcom version of Vision, while Olsen stated Mary Tylor Moore had a heavy influence on her character of Wanda. But more than just being a point of homage, The Dick Van Dyke Show was hugely influential in modernizing the family sitcom and breaking a lot of the unspoken traditions and ‘rules’ of the 50s television era. It’s also just really, really funny.  

3.The Alfred Hitchcock Hour (1962 - 1965) 

Bit of a cheat here. Alfred Hitchcock Presents actually started in 1955 as a half hour anthology show, but in ‘62 the show got a revamp and was extended into a full hour tv series. I knew I wanted The Twilight Zone to be covered in my episode one recap, but ‘The Master of Suspense’ couldn’t be forgotten. While The Twilight Zone reveled in the surreal and supernatural, Alfred Hitchcock pioneered the thriller genre and made real life seem dangerous, horrifying, and other worldly.   

4. Doctor Who (1963 - present day) vs Star Trek (1966 - present day) 

Just like how westerns dominated the air waves during the 50s, science fiction was the center of the cultural zeitgeist of the 60s. From Lost in Space to My Favorite Martian, space aliens and robots were everywhere. So naturally I had to name drop the two sci-fi juggernauts that still air to this today. If you thought that the rivalry between Star Wars and Star Trek was bad then you’ve never seen a chat full of Whovians and Trekkies duking it out over who is the better monster, the Borg or the Cyberman. But which one has the more influence over Wandavision?

Well Star Trek owes it’s existence to sitcoms. As with The Twilight Zone before it, Star Trek was produced by Desilu Productions and it’s co-founder and CEO, Lucille Ball, was the series biggest supporter behind the scenes, lobbying for it when it faced early cancelation. As with all things sitcomy, everything ties back to I Love Lucy in the end. However despite that little backstory, it would seem that the series has very little to do with Wandavision itself beyond being quintessentially American. 

I would argue that Wandavision owes much to Doctor Who though. Arguably more so than any show mentioned in this retrospective. Time travel, alternate realities, trouble in quite suburbia, brainwashing, people coming back from the dead, ect... just about every trope you can find in Wandavision has also appeared in Doctor Who at some point. As a series that can go anywhere and do anything, Doctor Who was a pioneer of marrying genres in new and interesting ways. 

5. Bewitched (1964 - 1972) and I Dream of Jeannie (1965 - 1970)

It’s hard to pick one series over another because they’re essentially the same show. A mortal man falls in love with a magical girl who upends their lives with magic filled hijinks as they try their best not to have their secret discovered by the rest of the world. And both have their fingerprints all over the DNA of Wandavision. 

There’s only two core differences; Samantha and Jeannie have completely different personalities, with Sam being confident and knowledgeable and Jeannie being naïve and oblivious, along with their relationships with their respective men, Sam and Darrin being married and in love at the start of the series and Jeannie chasing after Tony in the beginning in a will they/won’t they affair, finally only getting together in the last season. 

6. The Munsters (1964 - 1966) vs The Adams Family (1964 - 1966)

Fans of these two shows are forever sadden that there never was a crossover between them. Because they’d fit perfectly together. Both shows are about a surreal and macabre family living in American suburbia and disrupting the lives of their neighbors with their otherworldly hijinks. Sound familiar?     

The main difference between the two shows is the way the characters viewed their placement in the world they inhabit. 

The Munsters were always oblivious to the fact that didn’t fit in. They just automatically assumed everyone had the same personal tastes as them. Whenever they encountered anyone who behaved strangely around them they would write that person off as being the odd one rather than questioning themselves. As such the main cast was structured like a stereotypical sitcom family who just happened to be classic movie monsters. 

The Addams were well aware that they were abnormal and they loved it! They lived life with in their own little world and didn’t care what anyone thought of them. As such the characters were far more colorful and quirky as individuals but there was little in the way of refences to other horror franchises beyond just a general love of the twisted and strange. 

7. Green Acres (1965 - 1971) and the Rual-verse (1962 - 1971)

So the MCU is not the first franchise to bring viewers an interconnected universe to the small screen. Far from it, as sitcoms had been doing this for decades, starting with the ‘rualverse’. Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, and Green Acres were all produced by the same company and were treated as spinoffs of each other, complete with crossovers and shared characters and sets. 

Of the three, the last show, Green Acres, has the most in common with Wandavision. A well to do businessman and his lovely socialite wife settle down in small town America on a farm in order to get away from the stresses of city life, only to find new stresses in the country. Eva Gabor, herself a natural Hungarian, plays the character of Lisa as Hungarian making her one of the few non-native born Americans on tv screens during the cold war. Despite her posh nature and original protests to the move, Lisa assimilates to the rural life far easier than her husband, Oliver. Who, as the main comedic thread, can’t comprehend his new quirky neighbors’ odd and often illogical behavior.  

8. Hogan’s Heroes (1965 - 1971) and Get Smart (1965 - 1969)

So as comic fans have been quick to point out, it’s looking like both A.I.M. (Hydra) and Sword (Shield) will be players in the story of Wandavision. To commemorate that here’s two shows to represent those opposing sides. Although in truth, neither series has anything else in common with each other but I need to condense things down someway. 

In Hydra’s corner we got Hogan’s Heroes. A show all about taking down Nazis from within. 

I love, love, love, ‘robin hood’ comedies where a group of con artists try week after to week to pull one over the establishment. The Phil Silvers Show, Mchale's Navy, and Top Cat, just to name a few examples are all childhood favorites of mine. However while those shows had a lot of morally ambiguous characters, Hogan’s Heroes has very clear cut good guys and bad guys, cause the bad guys are Nazis and the show relentless makes fun of the third reich as should we all. In fact I was watching Hogan’s Heroes while waiting for the GA run off election results. Fortunately my home state decided to kick out our own brand of Nazis this year. 

For Shield, we got the ultimate spy spoof, Get Smart. Starring, Inspector Gadget himself, Don Adams, as the bumbling Maxwell Smart. Get Smart, is a hilarious send up of Cold War espionage but the real selling point of the show, imho, is Max and his co-worker 99′s relationship. You can cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife all while laughing your ass off. 

9. Batman (1966 - 1968)

First was Superman and then came Batman. Yet while Superman was a serious action show, Batman was a straight up comedy. Showcasing that superheroes could indeed be funny. 

Also shout out for Batman being the only show on this list to have an actual crossover with it’s competitor, The Green Hornet. 

10. Julia (1968 - 1971)

Since episode two features the first appearances of Herb and Monica, let’s highlight the first black led sitcom since the cancelation of Amos ‘n Andy over a decade earlier. The show focuses on single mother and military nurse, Julia, as she tries to live her life without her recently decease husband, who was killed in Vietnam, as she tries to raise their six year old son on her own.  

The series is cute. It’s more of a throw back to earlier family sitcoms where there’s no fantasy and life lessons are the name of the game. It’s the fact that the main character is a single black woman is what made the show so subversive and important at the time. 

Runner Ups

There’s much good stuff in the 60s, so here’s some others that didn’t make the cut but I would recommend anyways. 

Car 54, Where Are You? (1961 - 1963)

I call this the Brooklynn 99 of the 1960s. Bumbling but well meaning Officer Toody longs to do good in the world and help anyone in need, but often screws things up with his ill thought out schemes. He often drags his best friend and partner, the competent but anxiety riddled, Muldoon into his escapades. 

Mr. Ed (1961 - 1966)

The grandfather of the sarcastic talking pet trope. 

The Jetsons (1962 - 1963 and 1985 - 1987)

Hanna-Barbera often took popular sitcoms and just repackaged them as cartoons with a fantasy theme to them. The Jetsons has no singular show that it rips-off but is rather more a grab bag of sitcom tropes that feature, robots, computers, and flying cars. 

The Outer Limits (1963 - 1965) 

The Outer Limits was The Twilight Zone’s biggest competitor in terms of being a sic-fi/horror anthology series. 

Gillian’s Island (1964 - 1967) 

The only comparison to WandaVision I could think of was that this is a sitcom about people being trapped in one place. But by that point I was running out of room on the list. Still it’s one of the funniest shows on here. 

So yeah, this took longer than expected cause there’s a lot, here. Hopefully the 70s will be easier. Which I’ll post on Friday. 

[self-indulgence-in-fiction]

Okay so. This like a shamelessly obsession fueled side blog where I reblog fics I like and hope others will too. I haven't posted much original content here but I feel like @something-tofightfor and @its-my-little-dumpster-fire deserve special thanks right now because

I've been watching a lot of older ben stuff recently and his characters all have such ??? sad ??? endings?

Spoilerly stuff below ----

Character by Character

John: abandoned and divorced by father and wife and about to potentially lose the family estate

Dorian: led astray by someone he thought was a friend, he reclaims his soul i guess but he burns alive doing it. I've never read the book so I don't know if that last scene is really supposed to convey a measure of redemption or not

Caspian: becomes a king at a very young age, loses his father, then Peter and Susan then Edmund and Lucy after becoming like family with them. He is literally confronted with the choice to cross the boundary of death at the end of dawn treader

Ryan: the movie assumes he starts to settle down or finds another person to call home at the end but that song, well, it doesn't come from a place that has never known some really hard and alone times

Josh: the trailer is so bad I'm never going to watch locked in but the premise seems to be he caused an accident that put his daughter in a coma and then he thinks he might he going crazy hearing her voice. So again. Sad and distressing

Sam adams: reckless and angry and careless and ready to tear the world down but comes to the realization his talent for oration can help the revolution as much as his fists. Although he's still not steady this is arguably one of the happier endings. The scene where he stands like a dare on the deck of that ship puts my heart in my throat and has "standing point blank in front of a pistol with full knowledge of my own mortality" energy even if the range isn't point blank

Nic: literally dead by the end, loses his father and his girlfriend. his brother enters the one world nic didn't want him to have anything to do with. Also he's so deluded with the idea of belonging to something fraternal and powerful throughout the film. The scene where he burns the card in his hand makes my heart hurt too because hand burns are painful and cruel

Benjamin: this is also supposed to be a happy ending but the show leaves so many loose ends it makes me worry the environment of julia's family is going to just let him keep lying and manipulating without being sure of love as a moderating force for that part of his personality. And also he went to jail off screen as a younger man for something he didn't do. Also he has a panic attack on the bedroom floor that's never addressed. He just feels fragile and that just makes me feel defensive and protective.

Logan: one of the worst fates by far even though the "poor little rich boy" thing makes Logan hard to empathize with at the beginning I'm starting to think Ben could play almost anyone and I'd empathize with them. Anyways Logan ends up dehydrated for days in the desert, abandoned by father and sister, gaslighted by william, and ultimately succumbs to drug addiction. Then the (big spoiler) Forge takes on his face and voice and some weird echo of his personality in what would have been a personal hell for Logan - always trying to figure out if there was another path or lifetime in which his father didn't abandon him. And guess what, turns out everything "always ends up here" at the point where Logan is drowning and his father turns away anyways

Billy: selfish and greedy though he is, the glimpses we get of his past makes those character traits make sense and also read like defensive mechanisms as much as anything else. And those traits would be forgivable except his fatal flaw is? I'd say pride except he's bowed down to a man like Rawlins. He can't bend long enough to explain to Frank what his part in the carousel murders was. He supposedly didn't think that the ambush would kill the rest of the Castles, so he feels guilty and the part he did play hurts him enough he avoids thinking about it beyond the mantra that it wasn't him behind the guns. I get the sense that Billy is mad at Frank because Frank knows Billy's capable of terrible things but neither of them thought he'd ever be complicit in Maria and the kids' death. Billy doesn't want Frank to believe he's that kind of bad but he also isn't willing to reach back and make amends. They know one another too well to be anything less than infuriated at the others' pretenses. Punisher s1 feels like a little like if King Lear's Edmund and Edgar got a betrayal tragedy all to themselves; and then punisher 2 is painful because the score should be settled except the last fight shattered all Billy's already crooked pieces and the picture he puts back together from them is somehow both younger and more solidified and committed to following a betrayal to its logical conclusion than even s1. He's more wicked in s2 but also somehow raw for it. No more polish no more of anyone except himself. Except he doesn't know who he is so that's a fun acid trip

And the newest ben guy, Aleksander. He's just so Lonely. He's nearly immortal and finally running out of resources at one of the peaks of a war hundreds of years long. He's also manipulative and sort of casually dismissive and cold but this also makes sense in context. But he's also sweet and has this really bent righteous streak that's oddly on brand

anyways NO WONDER I'VE BEEN MEDIA INDUCED SAD FOR LIKE THREE WEEKS AND BINGE READING ANYTHING THESE TWO WONDERFUL WRITERS HAVE WRITTEN TO TRY AND FIX THAT

They both have an amazing grasp of character and know how to write slow burn like pros. They also both really nice. Go check out their stuff and leave some likes!!

As much as I love ben's complicated characters, I think he's right. It may be time for a sweeter palate cleanser. Something that's not going to leave me feeling like my heart is cracked. Again. It doesn't have to be a romance or anything and honestly I'm a little romanced-out as far as movies go. Id just like One Thing without a romantic subplot. And just something with a little gentler of a resolution possibly. Although I'm going to he grateful whatever new content we end up getting from him 🙏🏼

[transientwordsmith]

Macbeth-Theatre Kid AU

This is my Macbeth fanfic. It is an American High School Theatrea Kid AU. Characters: Macbeth, Lady Macbeth, Banquo, Malcolm, Macduff, Lady Macduff, Siward, Seyton. Word Count: ~4500

Macbeth walked into the first day of school with a sense of pride. His junior year. Almost the oldest in the school. His last year he didn’t have to worry about college. He was going to have such a good time this year.

But of course not without his best friend Banquo. Macbeth spotted him next to a vending machine.

“Banquo!” Macbeth called. “Banquo! Over here!” Macbeth ran over and clapped Banquo on the shoulder. “Good to see you,” he said.

“Macbeth it’s only been two weeks since I last saw you,” Banquo said.

“I know, but I miss you.” Macbeth hugged Banquo. Banquo chuckled.

“Always so dramatic…” he mused. Macbeth let go of Banquo.

“How else would I get the lead in the school play?” he asked. Banquo gave him a knowing smile and the two of them started inside.

The duo walked down the hall asking about the other’s summer, even though they knew full well that they had spent the better part of it together. Suddenly, a door to Macbeth’s right opened and a pretty blonde girl exited the room.

“Lady!” He greeted the girl. “Walk with us.”

And she did. Lady was Macbeth’s sister. She was somehow always surprised when he acted like they hadn’t seen each other in a million years, even if they had only seen each other last a few hours ago.

“Hello, you two,” Lady greeted Banquo and Macbeth rather impatiently. “Where are you going?”

“To see what show we’re putting on, duh!” Macbeth exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Banquo rolled his eyes.

“You know auditions aren’t even until the end of September…” he said.

There was a large bulletin board at the end of the hall. It was covered in posters, both new and old. The actual cork had so many holes one might mistake it for a sponge. But lo and behold, right in front was a rather large poster for the show “Guys and Dolls”. The poster read:

Guys and Dolls Auditions

September 28, 29, and 30

Make an appointment today!

sweird@dunsinane.edu

“Oh my god!” Macbeth yelled. “I love ‘Guys and Dolls’!”

“I know, me too,” Banquo said, not matching Macbeth’s enthusiasm. Lady side-eyed them both.

“If you like it so much, audition,” she said. Macbeth wouldn’t stop staring at the poster.

“I know I’m going to get Nathan Detroit! I just know it,” he said with confidence. Banquo nodded with a smile.

“Ms. Weird practically told you that you were going to get the part last June,” Banquo remembered. The three of them stared at the poster for just a bit longer before remembering that they had other classes, too.

…

The first day of school. As a junior, no less. Macduff had to admit, he was a bit excited. For school in general, but also for the school play. Last June, Ms. Weird, his best friend and stage manager, Malcolm and he had picked “Guys and Dolls” to perform this year.

What he wasn’t so excited about, however, was Macbeth. Macbeth was one of the most arrogant people Macduff had ever met. Macbeth thought the whole world should revolve around him and that everything should tailor to him. Sorry, kiddo, but the world just doesn’t work that way, Macduff thought.

Macduff walked into the Dunsinane Academy courtyard and caught Malcolm’s eye. Malcolm walked over to him.

“How was your summer?” Malcolm asked.

“Great, and yours?” Macduff deflected. His summer was horribly boring, to say the least.

“Oh, it was amazing. I went to this sleepaway camp that was a lot of fun. They have a Christmas program too for families. I think I’ll go.” Malcolm said.

“Don’t go for too long,” Macduff warned. “I don’t want to be alone with Macbeth while you’re gone.”

Malcolm’s happy demeanor quickly changed after Macbeth was brought up.

“Oh, right. I forgot how much you don’t like him,” he said.

It was truly a wonder how Malcolm could forget after Macduff had nearly been suspended last year for getting in a fistfight with Macbeth.

“It’s alright,” Macduff said. “I’ll be okay. Let’s get to class before we’re late.”

…

Late August turned into Early September turned into almost October. Leaves were falling off trees and some ambitious people began putting out Halloween decorations. Macbeth’s family was one of those families. They had lots of big, gaudy decorations. But there was something more important than the rapid arrival of Halloween: auditions.

Macbeth wanted to get his audition over with quickly so he could be cast, so he made his appointment for the 28th of September. Banquo’s wasn’t until the 29th.

He had prepared “Wait for it” from Hamilton as his audition piece. Ms. Weird had thrown a fit last time someone tried to audition with a pop song.

At Dunsinane, they were lucky enough to have a small black box theatre in which rehearsals and auditions could be held. Macbeth opened the door at exactly 3:24.

“Macbeth? Is that you?” Ms. Weird called from out of sight.

“‘Tis I!” Macbeth said in a loud voice. “The great Macbeth!” He ventured farther into the room and found Ms. Weird sitting behind a desk with her back to the door.

“Are you ready to begin?” She asked. “You have your song and scenes?”

Macbeth nodded. The audition commenced.

“So? How’d it go?” came Banquo’s voice over the phone.

“I think it went very well,” Macbeth said. “Ms. Weird practically told me I’d get the lead.”

“What did she say?”

“She said ‘Very well done, Macbeth. I should think that you will get a sizable role this year!’”

“That’s great!”

“I know!”

…

Macduff walked into Ms. Weird’s black box theatre. It was arguably one of his favorite rooms in the whole school.

“Hey, Ms. Weird,” Macduff greeted.

“Macduff! Wonderful timing. Malcolm and I were just going to get started on casting.” Ms. Weird indicated to her left, where Malcolm was sitting with a computer in his lap.

“Hold on, hold on,” Malcolm requested. “A few more minutes, please. I am no tech genius over here.”

“They’ve been recorded? I’ve always wanted permanent documentation of complete showoffs!” Macduff said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Once Malcolm had finally figured out how to work the video program, the three of them huddled around the laptop to watch the videos.

There was one that stood out to Macduff: A senior called Duncan Inverness. Macduff told Malcolm so, and Malcolm agreed.

“Ms. Weird? What do you think about Duncan?” Malcolm asked. Ms. Weird took a moment to consider him before giving her answer.

“He seems great! He’s a senior, right?” she asked. Macduff and Malcolm nodded in agreement. “Good. We can cast him as Nathan Detroit.”

…

The cast list went up on the morning of October 2nd. And that was the day Macbeth’s life was ruined.

GUYS AND DOLLS CAST LIST:

Nathan Detroit - Duncan Inverness

Miss Adelaide - Seyton

Sarah Brown - Lucy Duff

Sky Masterson - Donalbain Inverness

Nicely-Nicely Johnson - Macbeth

Macbeth didn’t read any further than that. He was utterly devastated. He wanted to scream and shout and break some things. How is this possible? Macbeth wondered. Ms. Weird practically told me I was going to get a lead! Nicely-Nicely Johnson? What kind of a role is that?

“Hey! I got Harry the Horse!” Banquo’s voice ripped Macbeth out of his thoughts. “And you got Nicely-Nicely Johnson! Awesome! I love his part in “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat.” Macbeth stumbled past him, down the hall.

“I need to find Lady,” he mumbled, dazed.

Lady was outside, under a tree, completely oblivious to Macbeth’s devastation.

“Lady!” Macbeth called. “Lady!”

“What do you want,” Lady said, exasperated. She marked her book with her thumb and looked up and him expectantly.

“Lady, I got Nicely-Nicely Johnson,” Macbeth explained. Lady did not see what was wrong.

“That’s great!” She said. “Doesn’t he have a solo song?”

“That’s not the point!” Macbeth lamented. He collapsed on the ground next to Lady and buried his face in his hands.

“Dear God,” Lady swore. “If you want that lead, why don’t you do something about it. I mean, you said you’d do anything just last night, didn’t you?”

Macbeth looked up at her.

“I did say that, yes,” Macbeth agreed. Lady looked at him with a sly look. Macbeth returned it with a blank one. It was a few moments before he realized what she was implying. Then a crafty smile took over his features.

That night Macbeth sped through his homework even faster than usual. Then, he opened his computer and began to type furiously. Google, Facebook, Dunsinane Academy website, the city newspaper, anywhere Macbeth thought he could find dirt on Duncan. He was going to get that role no matter what it took.

…

Macduff saw Duncan walking in the opposite direction from him. He seemed to be going somewhere in a hurry.

“Hi, Duncan,” Macduff greeted. Duncan threw him a dirty look and sped past him. Macduff was confused--he got the lead part! What did he have to be upset at him about?

Macduff opened the door and stepped inside. There he saw Macbeth, with a smug look on his face. His friend Banquo stood next to him with a pained smile on his face.

“I’m so happy for you,” Banquo said, sounding insincere.

Macduff turned to see what the two boys were looking at. There he saw Ms. Weird erasing Duncan’s name on the whiteboard as Nathan Detroit, and rewriting Macbeth’s name.

No.

No.

No.

This cannot be happening.

Macduff tried to play it cool, and not freak out. He wanted to keep his position as set designer, after all.

“What’s going on?” he asked, even though he knew full well what was going on.

“Macbeth found some rather...unsavory information regarding Duncan,” Ms. Weird explained. “As a reward, I agreed to recast him. He was going to be our second choice, after all.”

Macduff had forgotten about that. He had only agreed to let Macbeth be the secret understudy because they had no one else who had enough talent to do it. Something felt wrong about this though…

“What did Duncan do that we had to cut him?” Macduff asked.

Macbeth looked even smugger than before (if that was even possible).

“I heard that he cheated on his Physics final last year. And, I figured that Ms. Weird would want to know,” he said. He pointed to a handwritten sign on the door that read “We support academic integrity in this classroom”. 

Macduff recalled when this sign was put up. It had been because a few actors had been cheating on their tests. The administration had asked Ms. Weird to cut them from the show. It hadn’t hurt the production much since those actors were in the ensemble, but since then academic integrity had been a very serious topic in Ms. Weird’s classroom.

“Duncan’s not the type…” Macduff mused.

“No, but he did,” Ms. Weird said seriously.

Macduff shook his head and sighed. He was sorry to see Duncan go. He looked up at Macbeth, to see if he showed any sign of remorse at all, but he was still smiling brightly, oblivious to the fact that he probably cost Duncan his theatrical future.

…

Despite his smug demeanor, Macbeth was terrified. Duncan had not actually cheated on his physics final last year. What really happened was that he took a practice test with notes. The test was not meant to be open book, so his teacher let it slide with a few docked points. All Macbeth had to do was fudge a few details and bing bang boom, Duncan was cut and Macbeth was now the lead.

Macduff seemed less than thrilled about this, but Macbeth wasn’t miffed. He knew that Macduff didn’t like him much anyway. 

Malcolm came in behind Macduff and pushed past him.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Macduff asked him.

“I just saw Duncan throwing rocks and screaming outside,” Malcolm said. “What’s that all about?” Macduff thew Macbeth a cool look.

“I’ll let Macbeth explain,” he said.

Macbeth was getting sick of explaining this more than once. He wasn’t prepared to have to tell everyone who came in the door.

“Duncan violated the academic integrity rule so he was cut,” Macbeth said simply. Banquo nodded behind him.

Malcolm threw up his hands.

“Are you serious?” he shouted. “This can’t be true.” Malcolm stabbed an accusatory finger at Macbeth. He left in a huff, muttering to himself. Macduff put his bag down and ran after him.

“So, when’s the first rehearsal?” Macbeth asked.

…

Macduff sped down the hall after Malcolm.

“Malcolm! Hold on!” Macduff shouted. Malcolm kept speed walking until he found the room he was looking for. He threw the door open and slammed it behind him. Macduff followed him inside.

“Malcolm?” Macduff asked the room. The two of them were alone. All of the desks were stacked at the back of the classroom, the walls were barren, and the lights were off. The classroom appeared to be unused, but even so, it was open.

Macduff caught sight of Malcolm as he was throwing a script at the wall. He threw it with force and papers exploded everywhere. Malcolm covered his face with his hands.

“It was supposed to go well this year,” He all but sobbed.

“Hey,” Macduff said consolingly, setting aside his own anger for a moment. “It’ll be just fine, okay? We can fix it. We’ll figure it out.”

The two of them sat on the floor for a few minutes, not saying a word, before picking up the script, which was quite a few pages, and heading to the woodshop to begin working on the set.

…

Macduff and Malcolm didn’t come back that day. Banquo and Macbeth sat together while Macbeth highlighted all of his new lines. Banquo, who had been in the ensemble before, took on Macbeth’s previous role as Nicely-Nicely Johnson.

“I love his song,” Banquo had said.

“I know, Banquo,” Macbeth said.

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Macbeth was anxious to find Lady. He had to confide his troubles in her.

“Lady,” he said. “Are you sure this was the right thing to do? I mean, Malcolm and Macduff are really upset. They’re probably going to bust me!”

“It’ll be fine, Macbeth. You’re going to seem suspicious. You got this far, just stay on the down-low.” Lady told him. Macbeth took a breath of confidence and stool taller than he had before. He put on a smile and escorted Lady out of the school.

Later that evening, Banquo called. This wasn’t uncommon, so Macbeth had no qualms about answering.

“Macbeth?” Banquo asked.

“What’s going on?” Macbeth replied.

“Macbeth, I feel like something fishy is going on,” Banquo confessed.

“Like what?” Macbeth was getting nervous.

“Like, in the show.”

“You mean how Nathan and Adelaide never get married? I know, it’s so weird.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean, then?”

“I mean...I don’t mean to say that you’re a liar or something...but Macduff was right, I think. Duncan isn’t the type to do something like that. It feels wrong to have ruined him like that. You know?”

Macbeth felt like the floor had been ripped out from under him.

“No, I don’t know. I’ll see you tomorrow, Banquo,” he said coldly.

“Macbeth, wait-”

Macbeth ended the call.

…

That day after school Macduff went home with Malcolm. They had started planning out the set for the show that afternoon but could hardly focus, so they put it off until later.

Later is here.

Macduff scribbled an idea down in his notebook.

“I was thinking we could do something like this,” he showed Malcolm. “It could either be a drawing on plywood or a drop or something but I don’t think we should have any other drops.” Malcolm nodded.

“That looks cool. You can draw it on or something and then we can get some ensemble people to paint it. For techie points.” Malcolm said.

“Yeah,” Macduff agreed.

The design was a cartoonish New York skyline. Windows were yellow, the sky was navy with white stars, and each building had a long spire.

“Okay, what else?” Malcolm asked. Macduff consulted his notebook.

“Shop facades, The mission, something for Havana, a platform for the Hot Box, and so, so many other things.” Macduff said, burying his face in Malcolm’s bed.

“We can draw up some plans and delegate this stuff to the newbies. Ms. Weird will show them how to do it.” Malcolm told Macduff.

“Are you sure?” Macduff asked.

“Yes,” Malcolm said with determination. “Because while they’re doing that, we are going to sabotage Macbeth.”

…

Macbeth was enjoying his time at the top. He truly was. But it was not without this horrible guilt following him wherever he went. He was avoiding Banquo today--partially because Banquo was also avoiding him. But also…

There were a few people in Ms. Weird’s room when Macbeth got there. It was lunch hour, after all.

“Ms. Weird?” Macbeth asked with trepidation.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Ms. Weird acknowledged him. Macbeth could hardly bring himself to say the words. But he needed this assurance.

“I caught Banquo cheating on an important project last night.”

Ms. Weird looked down at the table and sighed before looking back up at Macbeth.

“Thank you for telling me, dear,” she said. She turned around and began editing the cast list on the whiteboard again.

“Macduff and Malcolm are going to have my head on a plate…” Macbeth could hear her muttering. Me too, Macbeth thought. He left quickly to find Lady. He figured she could give him some respite before he had to face Banquo.

But when has Macbeth ever been that lucky? As he was leaving, Banquo came through the front doors of the school building.

“Hey,” Macbeth tried. Banquo sped past him into Ms. Weird’s room. It was only a few moments before he came storming back out again. Banquo slammed his shoulder against Macbeth’s on his way back outside. Macbeth was alone in the hallway.

Macbeth found Lady sitting alone in a secluded corner of the school yard. When he sat down next to her, she startled.

“Are you okay?” Macbeth asked her.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Lady said very unconvincinly.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just don’t want to see certain people right now.”

“Oh, should I leave?”

“No.” Lady put her hand on Macbeth’s thigh. “You can stay.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Banquo got cut today,” Macbeth said.

“What? Why?” Lady demanded.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Macbeth regretted telling her anything.

“I swear to god, Macbeth, if this was your fault I’ll kill you. Duncan, already hates me because I’m your sister. Why don’t you keep adding people to his army, huh?” Lady berated him. Macbeth was at a loss. There was no way he could come out of this on top unless he let Lady take the fall. Which,

“You seem to be handling it pretty well,” Macbeth observed.

Lady slapped him in the face.

“I changed my mind. Go away.” 

Macbeth obeyed and left quickly. As he approached the school doors he saw Banquo leaving out of the corner of his eye. Macbeth decided to go back to Ms. Weird’s room.

Ms. Weird wasn’t there when Macbeth arrived. He decided to sit on the long table at the front of the room.

Macbeth noticed a magic 8 ball sitting near the white board. He decided to ask a few questions.

“Will I become rich and famous?” he asked.

Don’t count on it.

“Okay…” Macbeth was a bit disappointed. He decided to ask some more questions.

“Will Guys and Dolls be the best Dunsinane production yet?”

As I see it, yes.

“Sweet!” Then he remembered Macduff and Malcolm.

“What about Malcolm and Macduff?” He asked.

Concentrate and ask again.

Right, Macbeth thought. I can’t be vague.

“Will Malcolm and Macduff hinder my greatness?”

Better not tell you now.

“Fine, be like that.” Macbeth said and set the 8 ball down.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a girl walked in. Macbeth recognized her as Maduff’s younger sister.

“Is Ms. Weird here?” she asked Macbeth.

“No, sweetheart, she isn’t,” Macbeth said, an idea forming. He had a bad feeling about Macduff and Malcolm, and he knew exactly what to do about it.

…

Malcolm and Macduff sat down next to each other in their next class, their fingers intertwined. They both gave each other a look of knowing: this was their last respite before rehearsal today. It was not the first, but they were nowhere near their last. Malcolm and Macduff were not excited, to say the least.

After class, Macduff and Malcolm split up, albeit begrudgingly. Malcolm had to supervise the rehearsal and answer any stupid questions the actors undoubtably had, while Macduff was taking Siward and a few other freshmen to the woodshop to work on the set. One of those freshmen was supposed to be his sister, but she was not here.

“Has anyone seen my sister today?” Macduff asked the group. He was sure he saw her going to first period this morning but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

They all shook their heads no. Let me ask Malcolm if she’s in Ms. Weird’s room, Macduff thought. He took out his phone.

Macduff: hey is my sister near you

Malcolm: no why

Macduff: i cant find her

Malcolm: so why don't you text her

What a great idea. Why hadn’t Macduff thought of it before? Macduff opted to give her a call. It rang a few times before she picked up.

“Hello?” came a shaky voice.

“Hey,” Macduff greeted. “Where are you?” All Macduff could hear was the sound of ragged breathing for a few moments.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you when I get home. Oh, and by the way, don’t try to get me back while that group of jerk-wads are still there,” Macduff’s sister said through quiet sobs.

“What jerk-wads?” Macduff asked nobody, since the call had ended. Macduff knew everyone on the cast, and they were all so friendly and kind, except…

“I need to go,” Macduff told the freshmen. “You all can go home.”

…

Macbeth was running lines with Seyton when Macduff burst in. He had a determined glint in his eye. Malcolm walked up to him and they started chatting animatedly. Macbeth was having trouble focusing on the scene.

Macduff and Malcolm both looked back at Macbeth before leaving the room, leaving Macbeth with a sinking feeling.

Once he was sure Macduff and Malcolm wouldn’t come back, Macbeth grabbed the 8 ball again and shook it.

“Are Macduff and Malcolm plotting against me?” Macbeth asked it.

Outlook not so good.

This put Macbeth somewhat at ease. The rehearsal continued as usual. Afterward, Macbeth went home with no qualms about Malcolm and Macduff.

…

His first mistake, arguably. Macduff had seen Macbeth shaking the 8 ball through the little window in the door.

“What are you looking at?” Malcolm had asked.

“Macbeth is consulting an 8 ball,” Macduff had said, chuckling.

He and Malcolm came up with a plan to get Macbeth expelled from the theatre program: confront him. It was so simple they almost didn’t consider it.

“Really? Who’s gonna believe us? Who’s gonna prove him wrong?” Macduff had asked.

“Duncan, and Banquo. And your sister,” Malcolm had reassured him.

“And after this ordeal is all over?”

“We’ll restore people’s old roles. And continue as normal.”

They set the date for Friday. That meant they had Wednesday and Thursday to talk to Banquo and Duncan and to formulate some backup plans. They would not leave for Christmas break before this was set right.

…

Macbeth walked into school on Friday morning nervous. He had felt confident on Wednesday afternoon and on Thursday, but walking into school was giving him second thoughts. He saw Duncan and some of his friends hanging out together, side-eying Macbeth. Banquo eyed Macbeth from afar and Macduff’s sister had a strange glint in her eye.

On Thursday evening, Lady came down with a fever. Their parents wouldn’t let her come to school. Macbeth was alone and paranoid.

Macbeth walked from class to class trying to be as big and intimidating as possible, to hide his fear. He would not let these people, who were arguably lesser than him, know that he wanted to become as small and invisible as possible.

Dread could not even begin to describe what Macbeth felt when he approached Ms. Weird’s room that afternoon. He pushed open the door with immense trepidation. Seyton and Siward were chatting in the corner, but there was no one else there.

Macbeth snuck behind Ms. Weird’s desk and grabbed the magic 8 ball one last time.

“Will I perform in the show this winter?” Macbeth asked. A direct question has to work, he thought.

The 8 ball landed on the tip between two responses. Macbeth shook it again.

Ask again later.

At that moment, Malcolm pushed the door open, followed by Macduff, his sister, Banquo, Duncan, Ms. Weird, and Mr. Birnham, the principal.

“Hello, Macbeth. Nice to see you,” Macduff greeted Macbeth with a cool tone. Macbeth gave a small wave.

“Macbeth,” Mr. Birnham said. “Have a seat. Please.”

Macbeth sat and Macbeth listened. He listened as Mr. Birnham recounted what had happened in the last two weeks. Macbeth’s peers nodded along with Mr. Birnham and gave each other premature celebratory smiles.

“Now, you understand that you will not be able to participate in the Dunsinane Theatre Program anymore, yes?” Mr. Birnham asked.

“What?” Macbeth exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous!”

“This is what you get for stepping on your friends,” Banquo said.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Macduff gave Banquo a high five.

Macbeth stood and walked toward the door. He took one last look at Ms. Weird’s classroom--which he would never see again--before leaving to go home. Macbeth just barely saw Ms. Weird editing the cast list on the whiteboard out of the corner of his eye.

…

The door closed quietly. The people in the room just stared at it for a moment. Then, Malcolm enveloped Macduff in a bone-crushing hug.

“Finally, we can get on with the show!” he exclaimed.

Someone started playing Green Day’s “Good Riddance”, and someone else put a box of cookies on Ms. Weird’s desk. The celebration was well under way.

It was a few days before Christmas vacation was supposed to begin. Dunsinane’s production of Guys and Dolls was about to close.

Malcolm stood in the wings. Macduff was in the booth. The actors were ready for the show to begin.

“Cue 1, stand by…” Malcolm said.

“Standing by…”Macduff responded.

The lights in the house went down.

“Cue 1, go.”

Macduff pressed the play button in the program. The music started.

“I’ve got the horse right here! His name is Paul Revere…” The actor began. This was going to be the best Dunsinane Production in a while.

[gold-and-rubies]

Fallout’s Use of Dead Wives For Companions

So this isn’t a full on essay, but I want to take a look at the dead wife trope in Fallout New Vegas and Fallout 4, I haven’t played the others so I won’t make a comment on them. These are my opinions on it. I am not a professional at analysis, I just want to clear out my head. I will be talking about Boone, MacCready, Deacon, Valentine, and Longfellow. I thought about talking about Doc Mitchell, but I don’t really see people bring him up. Probably because it’s just used to explain why he has a female vault suit. I’m not going to talk about M!Sole Survivor, because in my opinion that is a different conversation. I talk more about Boone and MacCready, since I am explaining why it works for them. I don’t think many would argue with me that the others could use some alternatives though. Anyway, everything is below the cut.

So let’s start with Boone. He definitely is not the first, but he is the big one. If Bethesda did not overuse this trope in Fallout 4, I don’t think people would go off on him as much, but then again I am relatively new to the fandom. Overall, I think he is the best execution for two different reasons. 

I already made a small post about it, but I want to expand on it. When people talk about how focused he is on Carla’s death, I don’t think most people realize that it was recent. It happened while they were living in Novac, and when you meet him he says he has been living there for a year. Meaning that at the most she’s been dead for a little over eleven months, but I think it is way less than that. I think if it had been that long, Boone would have already figured out who was responsible. He’d probably be long, long gone. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is as recent as a little over a week. Not only is it recent, but he’s the one who did the deed. And he hates himself for it. He knows what he did was wrong, but it was that or let her and their unborn child become slaves. That’s another thing I don’t think a lot of people know. Carla was pregnant, and I’m pretty sure they were planning on keeping the child. He was given a choice that consisted of two very dark shades of grey, and he had to figure out which one was just a little better. Not only is it very recent, and tragic, but it genuinely has a very deep affect on him. It is apparent from the beginning that it isn’t just something that is supposed to make the player feel bad for him, it is an important part of his character.

The second reason is that this isn’t the only thing affecting him deeply, though he is the slightest bit more open about what happened to Carla. His participation in what happened at Bittersprings, and how that affected his relationships and how he views Carla’s death make him a deeper character. It serves to show the horrors of war, how willing people are to turn on each other when afraid, and it makes Boone a deeply traumatized character. Unlike other things, it isn’t just some cheap grab at pain. It’s made clear that he isn’t getting over her anytime soon, or maybe he might not at all. 

Let’s look at MacCready next, shall we? I think he is the second best execution of this in this group, and by far the best one in Fallout 4. 

I think this is because while Lucy’s death was incredibly sad, and affected him deeply the focus is more on Duncan and how he mirrors the Sole Survivor. A parent with a dead spouse who desperately wants to save their child? They’re practically twins. But jokes aside, unlike the others in Fallout 4, Lucy’s death provides substance and cannot be easily switched out for another person. 

While twenty-six is a young age to have experienced all that Boone has, twenty-two is even younger. MacCready lost Lucy in a horrific way and became a single parent at quite a young age. We know that he met Lucy after leaving Little Lamplight, and she obviously died after Duncan was born. We know she’s been dead for a least two years because MacCready says she’s been gone for a few years. That means he lost his wife, the person he trusted the most and became a single parent when he was likely still a teenager. And despite this he has arguably the healthiest relationship with the death. He still blames himself for it, but he has come to terms with it the best he can.

It serves as the reason as to why he is a single parent, which I think has more of an affect on him as a character than her actual death does. Growing up in Little Lamplight, and being in charge of it for a bit likely forced him to grow up faster than is healthy, but having a child at such a young age with no one to lean on but your partner who died sent that into overdrive. 

Yes, the final affinity talk is about Lucy, but given this is when you are able to pursue a romantic relationship with him, it makes sense. But here is why I think it makes sense that she died, and didn’t walk out on him, which could be seen as an alternative. He says that he never got the chance to tell her who he really was. She died believing he was a soldier and not a mercenary, which seriously messed him up. Part of him feels like she might have not loved him if he had told her the truth. It not only adds to the grief he feels, but also the joy he feels when Sole tells him they love him, because they truly do know him for who he is. 

They could have gone in about a million different ways with his character in Fallout 4, but with the way they went what happened makes sense.

Then there’s Deacon, who I have mixed feelings about. Him being violently against synths before joining the Railroad makes for an interesting story, and a good reason as to why he is the way he is, but I’m not fond of how Barbara fits into the story. I understand that there would have to be some sort of redemption in order for him to join the Railroad, but I don’t think Barbara’s death was the best choice.I mean a death of someone he is close to makes sense, but it didn’t have to be his wife. Unlike Boone and MacCready where it makes sense for them specifically to be dead, it doesn’t for Deacon. Her death is just seen as retribution for the pain he caused. They could have very easily have just made it a close friend. While it makes sense for him to have such a dark history, they could have gone with anything, as the specifics of what happened don’t play a large role in who he is as a person.

Now, Valentine. Yes, Jenny was his fiancée not his wife, but close enough. Unlike Deacon, where they could have done anything for his background, it makes sense that someone had to die to make sure Nick was well and truly invested. The thing here is that it absolutely did not not have to be his fiancée, his professional partner dying could have achieved the same effect for him. Now, what’s different here is that her death isn’t really the sad or important part, it’s his identity crisis and justice that are. It is the Original Nick’s memories that spur him on, but justice for her death specifically isn’t the takeaway. It is the desire to do the right thing, and your actions being your own are.

Finally, we have Old Longfellow. This one is going to be super short. Old Longfellow is old by human wastelander standards. While I understand they want to provide a proper explanation as to why he dislikes the Children of Atom, him just being around for a long time and seeing and hearing everything would be reason enough. Hannah, that was her name if you didn’t know, I had to look it up, dying does the opposite of what the writer’s want. Instead of gaining sympathy for him it pushes players away, making her death the most unimportant one. You can’t even tell that that’s what is affecting him. They should have just focused on the thing with Shipbreaker. That would fit both his character, and the whole aesthetic of Far Harbor very well.

[bisexualcrowley]

SFW Headcannons- Lucifer

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

This fucker is TOUCH STARVED, always wanting to be touching you in some way, whether it be full on bear hugs while cuddled up at night or a simple hand on your forearm when you’re sitting in the library

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Lucifer can the most dramatic, annoying motherfucker ever to grace the earth but he makes it fun. Being friends with Luci means constantly joking around, pulling pranks and really just enjoying yourselves with no limit.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

When you’re sleeping, Lucifer prefers to lay on his back with your body snuggled up on top of him and your head burrowed against his neck, but just for cuddling? Little spoon. Little spoon all the time, he just lives for the feeling of his back pressed against you with your arms tucked around his waist.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Much to your amusement, Lucifer’s an absolute garbage fire when it comes to cooking. The number of times you’ve come back to your motel room after a hunt to find that he’d nearly burnt the building down trying to fix you something to eat is astounding.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If it was just a fling, Lucifer would probably just straight up end things or if he really didn’t care, ghost the person, but if it was a relationship he really cared about he would sit his s/o down to talk it through, kindly explain to them why things have to end.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Once he finds the one, Lucifer absolutely wants to settle down and fully commit to his partner, but isn’t too keen in the idea of marriage for a number of reasons, the most prominent being that he’s practically immortal and the details would just make things complicated

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Once he really truly trusts you, Lucifer lets his softer side show, both acting far less tough than he is around the Winchesters and treating you delicately, afraid that he might mess something up and drive you away

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Lucifer puts on his tough guy exterior when he’s around others, but when he’s alone with you all he wants to do is tuck himself up in your arms and hold you

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Luci’s afraid of it at first, afraid to be rejected and afraid that he’d end up regretting it, but when the time comes when he can’t keep himself from confessing his feelings, you meet him with a kiss and immediately he knows he had nothing to be afraid of

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Lucifer gets jealous FAST, this man cannot stand to see another guy paying too much attention to you, always showing up and sliding an arm around your waist, or pulling you into a kiss that would be more than inappropriate in public to show everyone you’re his

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He loves to kiss you everywhere, but the ones that bring him the most joy are the the times he presses his mouth to yours in a soft, loving kiss that ends before it has the chance to grow more passionate. He always loves every way you kiss him, but when you hop up to give him a peck on the tip of his nose in excitement he can feel his heart swell 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

It’s laughable how clueless he is when it comes to dealing with children. It’s clear that he learned nothing from Nick about how to act around kids, and the few times where he doesn’t avoid them the interaction is painfully awkward, ending with an embarrassed Lucifer and you and the child laughing your asses off.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Cuddles, giggles and soft kisses that almost always turn into Lucifer whining and flashing you his puppy-dog eyes when you try to get out of bed, insisting that he’s more important than whatever it is you have to do that day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It’s always a surprise with Lucifer, some nights are spent out bowling or causing whatever mischief comes to his mind, some nights the years alone in the cage get to him and turn him into a horny bastard, pretty obvious what you guys do then. Most nights though, and arguably your favorites are the nights spent in domestic bliss, cuddling in bed while watching a movie or watching Lucifer cheat at board games. The little things, that make you smile.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Lucifer’s time in the cage messed him up more than he cares to admit, and from that he hesitates to flat out share things about himself, preferring to avoid the topics until whatever it is comes out accidentally or you figure it out from fragments of information.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Lucifer has a quick temper, but the rare time that he snaps at you he apologizes right away, never wanting to take his anger out on the one person he cares about.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers the little things that make you smile more than anything else, your favorite flower, favorite snack, favorite movie, anything he can use as a pleasant surprise for you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Back when he was still hallucifer, there was a day when Dean had let you drive the Impala. It wasn’t a long drive compared to the usual length for you and the brothers, just a couple hours, but you had been thrilled, immediately plugging your playlist into the car and grinning as your favorite song blasted through the speakers. Lucifer remembers Dean groaning, beginning to protest but being cut off as you cut him off with a mocking laugh of “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.” Lucifer had cackled at Dean’s look of annoyance, but his laugh died off when you started singing along with the music. You seemed so happy, happier than he had seen you before in the year he had been with Sam, and the beauty of the situation shocked him. Sam of course was baffled at the sudden silence from beside him, having grown used to Lucifer's constant annoyance and burst into laughter at the look of awe on the devils face, but Lucifer didn’t care, he was focused on you. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Lucifer likes to lay his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat to feel secure. To him, it’s proof that he’s not back in the cage, you’re real, you’re there together and that he’s safe.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He usually doesn’t need to put much effort in, every little thing he does for you always turns out to be worth so much more than he planned

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Luci is absolute trash (pun not intended) at picking up after himself, always “forgetting” to move a plate from the table to the sink or leaving piles of clothes on the floor

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Every vessel he’s using always manages to look more attractive with Lucifer inside but Nick is objectively the most attractive, and Lucifer knows it. He doesn’t put much effort into his appearance on most days, knowing he looks hot without trying, but he does take the time to put together a good look the times where you’re going out, always managing to match his suit to whatever outfit you put on.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Before meeting you Lucifer thought he was doing great on his own, but after getting to know you? He can’t imagine what it would be to be alone again, you’re a massive part of him and he never wants to give it up

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Lucifer likes to drape one of his wings over your shoulders as a show of affection

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who doesn’t want to joke around with him, or someone who acts too controlling. Far too much like his dad, thank you very much.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

When Lucifer takes the time to sleep, he sprawls out across the entire bed. When you first join him under the covers he’ll pull you down to snuggle up against his chest and every so often he’ll keep an arm tucked around you, but more often than not his arms and legs end up stretched across the entire expanse of wherever he’s laying

[handlewithkara]

Thanks, I hate it

So, I was trying to rewatch season 3 again and wow, I remembered why I hate it (and particularly 3B) so much. Maybe hate is the wrong word. There is good things in there. Things I can appreciate. 

But I feel like my biggest gripe with it, more than shipping, more than characterization is that it is really hard to watch a show when you very fundamentally disagree with a position the show takes. 

And I think I knew that that was going to be the case I think from the moment Mon-El has his revealing conversation with J’onn in 3x13. J’onn is a character we are supposed to like, so it was pretty clear to me, that in this case, the position he took in this conversation was a position the show takes. 

Here is goes: Supergirl Season 3 firmly takes the position that it is the morally right thing for Mon-El to do is to not tell Kara that he has feelings for her. 

(the show also takes the position that it is honorable of Kara not to tell Lena her secret identity, situations that are paralleled on occasion. I think the situations are somewhat different, but still think that in both cases the position of the show is questionable or at least something I really disagree with)

First: What I think they were trying to achieve with this

1.) One of Mon-El's character flaws was arguably lack of restraint. Showing him holding back on telling Kara shows that he has matured. 

In this area I feel like the biggest disagreement is likely one of taste. If one likes Mon-El, one might argue that yes, lack of restraint and consideration was a character trait and flaw of Mon-El's, but "curing" him of this flaw arguably makes him at lost less entertaining as a character. 

The other problem is that Mon-El still has certain moments which the show itself characterizes as lack of consideration. Seems kind of late for him to still be learning this lesson on the fly? Rather than just struggling with it? Still, one can argue the fact that he was struggling with this issue on a relatively high level is a way of showing that he has changed a lot and is in a very different place. 

2.) Telling Kara about his feelings while she is still hurting and confused especially when he is unsure himself, yes would arguably be shitty. 

Now, this I partly get. When Mon-El comes back Kara is in a lot of emotional pain, she is distraught, she is confused, she is dealing with a lot. 

If at this point Mon-El goes to her and tells her that he's still into her (but there is still a chance that he still wants to honor his commitment to Imra more) that would cause her a lot of additional pain. 

Not that I think it would have changed a lot in how Kara would react or how much would have happened between them, but the same decisions would likely have caused her a lot of additional anguish. That would have been jerking her around and playing with her feelings by my defintion of things and in that case, I agree, he shouldn’t tell her.

Getting her hopes up just to leave again would so not be cool. 

3.) Talking to Kara about how he is struggling too might hamper their ability to fight Reign.

Now granted, this is just my personal feelings, as this wasn't really a topic that the show brought up itself. Still, this is something I could at least picture being a concern for these characters, that they want to put their feelings aside till Reign is defeated. (and in a way... that is what happens on the show, Karamel start getting a lot shippier in the time when they mistakenly think Reign has been defeated)

Second: Why I think it's wrong

The show over and over goes over the concept that it is wrong to tell somebody the truth just to make yourself feel better. And I keep thinking... why?

I agree with the concept that it is morally wrong to cause pointless pain to Kara by telling her. The thing is ... is it really pointless?

I fully agree that if Mon-El had fessed up to her at some point late into the season, it would have temporarily made Kara's life more confusing... but .... wouldn't that be worth it? Simply in the interest of things being more honest between and the information being out there?

And why isn't "it would make Mon-El feel better and lift a weight off his shoulders" a totally legit and fair outcome? Why does that have to be cast as "that's selfish and so he should never do that"?

I can maybe get that in the beginning when Kara is still super raw and emotional, but later on? Kara is a strong person, with a great support system. And I get that it's immoral to draw her into messy marriage issues.

But I don't see how just telling Kara what his emotional state is does that. He could just tell her "I'm really struggling too, but I'm trying to hold it together. This is hard for me in particular because I’m dealing with a lot of additional political weight being placed on my shoulders".

And yes I can envision a world where that makes communication between them even harder and it makes fighting Reign harder. But I still think it would be worth it for the benefit of things being more honest between them. And I would have said that both characters are emotionally strong enough that they could handle it.

Third: Why I’m beginning to think that they genuinely believed that

You know, for the longest time I thought, okay, maybe they just disliked Mon-El and wanted to get rid of him, so maybe they gave him a shitty story and that's all there is too it.

But the longer things go on, the more I get the impression. OMG they were actually serious about that?

In season 3, they draw strong parallels between it being honorable of Mon-El not to tell Kara and it being honorable of Kara not to tell Lena her identity. This is most explicit in The Fanatical where Mon-El says exactly that in a traditional "he gives advice about Lena, but he's actually talking about himself" scene.

Well, if you tell [her] the truth, you'd be doing it to make yourself feel better, not her. So maybe, in this case, it's, uh... Not telling her the truth is the noble thing. It's a sacrifice you're making to protect her.

(Bless Chris Wood, I think he looks entirely unconvinced by his own dialogue here)

Fast forward to episode 100. The big anniversary episode. The one that celebrates Kara and her influence on people. And this episode is full of people assuring Kara that her motivations were noble AND it ends with Kara embracing this point of view and putting her foot down (and no, I don't think that the writers intend to take that back and portray that as Kara misunderstanding something when this is the big celebration episode)

Executing The Premise

Either way. The whole season consisted of people preaching to Mon-El that he shouldn't tell. So Mon-El tries to do the right thing and keep his feelings mostly close to his vest.

And then it just ends!!!!

I'm sorry, this just feels wrong. It feels like there is something missing. Like either Mon-El should be rewarded for holding back (either by him realizing that loves the future best anyway (instead ... the opposite of that happened) or him actually getting a better chance with Kara somewhere in the future when the circumstances are better). Or in lieu of that, a storyline that makes it explictly clear that Mon-El was being a dumbass, did exactly the wrong thing and that is what costs him his chance with Kara. Except that didn't happen either.

Instead he disappear uncommented into nothingness and the only other glimpse we see of him is till an episode that actually doubles down on the message of 3B.

Summation

So my deep, fundamental gripe with season 3 is that I just deeply, deeply disagree with the central thesis the season puts forth (keeping things from people is not just understandable and excusable, but actually morally good) THE SHOW DIDN'T EVEN DELIVER PROPERLY ON THE STAKES AND MORAL STANDARDS THEY BUILT UP.

That's why season 3 was frustrating and hard to get connected to on multiple levels when it comes to these central story tenants. You have these characters discussing and debating and going back and forth and here I’m sitting, watching them and going “Yes, but this moral conundrum is stupid” (I had this reaction during pretty much any Mon-El scenes in regards to telling the truth and during any of the Kara and Lena arguments). I think even if the show had told a "clean" story with their premise, I still would have been sour on it when I just so fundamentally disagree with the premise on a personal level.

And that is in addition to the entertainment level of "I just don't think that it's very entertaining to watch characters who are constantly holding back to be heroic and moral and honorable" (compared to holding back for personal reasons like insecurity, something that is way more interesting because that is compelling characterization a lot of the time and casts telling the truth as characters facing their fears or seeing things weren’t as bad as they imagined it). 

I disliked that honorable holding back in Kara/James and I disliked it again in season 3. [yes I think it’s marginally better set up in season 3 simply because Karamel had an actual relationship as the basis rather than just the potential of a flirtation, Mimra were married and there was a political reason why it had to stay that way rather than Lucy in the end being just a nice girlfriend/boyfriend relationship ... but just because it is a slightly more solid version of that trope doesn’t change that that trope is bad and boring to me]

Look, this isn't about morals. This isn't about me thinking the show would have been better if Kara would have thrown herself at James in season 1. It's just that those stories are (to me) fundamentally boring to watch and there was a reason why I preferred the chaotic back and forth of season 2 Karamel. So in a way, I felt fundamentally betrayed by the story even without the ending, because to me the season betrayed a lot about what I liked about Karamel in season 2 and made them more like Kara/James whose story I often did not care for for a reason. I'm not claiming that season 3 was devoid of good things, outside of Karamel or within (and I will try to make posts on that), but in regards to Karamel, a lot of these things were new areas, new themes or side aspects compared to what their strongest threads were in season 2.(for what it’s worth, I think the normal, “soapy” way to tell this story would have been not that Mon-El tells, but that Mon-El keeps it quiet, but somebody else blabs out the truth and Kara finds out anyway and is initally mad at Mon-El. Would still have been a cop out compared to how I see this conflict, but it would have been a more normal story compared to “everybody tells Mon-El not to tell and he mostly doesn’t”)

But I can put my shipper values aside. I can try to appreciate a story for its craftsmanship or for what it is trying to do even if things don't go my way. But it's really hard to get invested in a show if you just don't see eye to eye with one of the core themes the show proposes.

And that’s why I have a lot of animosity left towards this aspect of season 3. 

[felicia-cat-hardy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

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[bloodys44]

Silence and Cigarette Smoke

Original story and bonus content found here! ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/1/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke

Chapter 8 was just posted on ff.net if ya wanna read ahead :) Enjoy!

Chapter 5: The Smoke That Smells of Grief

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The wind was vicious that morning, tearing through the gnarled streets of Stella without mercy. Lucy was sure the raw skin of her cheeks would soon crack from the terrifying force and the wicked chill. She had never liked the wind, it was annoying and wild to say the very least. But today, she stood without complaint. Mother Nature was lashing out, heartbroken by the death of her daughter, a sky goddess. She had a right to be mad, and her anger was excused. And Lucy decided that her opinion on what she hated and what she loved was very askew, if not evidence enough by the cigarette perched on her lip. She had stolen a few from Natsu's extra pack, the one tucked discreetly at the bottom of his bag. Hidden, because he told Lucy he didn't smoke as much as he really did. It was probably so she didn't worry, which she definitely did, so maybe he was right to do so. Hopefully, he wouldn't be too upset about parting with three.

Natsu's cigarettes were nice. He rolled them himself, with extreme care, and chard a symbol of a flame on every filter. He said it was so he could tell them apart from Grey's, back when they were forced to share a room after bursting pipes flooded the guild. Yet even now, years after parting with his roommate, he still took the time to do it. They reminded her of the ones her father used to smoke, so maybe he just wanted to smoke something that felt luxurious. Regardless, the warm burn she felt in her chest on every inhale was arguably the only thing keeping her grounded to reality. It told her that yes, she was breathing. And yes, she was alive.

They had decided to spend the night in a forgotten and long-abandoned apartment building near the edge of town. Natsu said they looked far too skittish and ragged to waltz into a public inn. He was right of course, the whole townscape was alive and rabid after all the excitement the previous evening. The building wasn't so bad either, lack the smell of rotted wood and soaked cement. They had lucked out, finding a room with neglected furniture and a somewhat working bathroom sink and, much to Natsu's excitement, a sealed jar of moonshine. The apartment was small and rather bizarrely laid out. A hall winding around the abandoned rooms like an ominous mazed shell. The drain located in the kitchen sink smelled of bloated decomposing and the bathroom was a ghastly shade of green that Lucy was sure, shouldn't exist. But, it was somewhat warm and out of the evening rain, so really, she couldn't complain. The 'bedroom' had a weird octagonal shape and held nothing but a singular partly disintegrated mattress shoved against the far wall. The grungy bathroom with the working sink was linked with a doorless frame to the left of the one leading into the bedroom. To the right was a door-styled window that opened to a small rust ridden deck. That's where Lucy was now, shivering against the malicious wind and pretending she wasn't cold. Puffing away on a cigarette that looked so out of place in her hand while she tried not to cry. The more she tried to wrap her head around last night's awful adventure, the more it felt like some sick hallucinated joke over anything real. With a final exaggerated exhale Lucy flicked the defeated roll of tobacco over the terrace railing, leaning heavily on it and losing herself in the cryptic groan the metal gave while she watched it fall. She didn't know what to do, her usually organized mind was spinning in her skull and her thoughts came out of order in relentless spurts. The image of Lissana's blood soaking into the dirt packed earth did nothing but jar repressed memories of her mother. Memories of the day she hadn't listened to her warning and glanced back while running through the crowd. Memories of that disgustingly prominent guillotine blade slicing her head clean off and soaking the earth with her blood just the same. It even sounded the same, the tearing of human flesh. The thought churned her stomach roughly and forced a violent gag. The burning laceration at the side of her throat pulling in a very dreadful way, which in turn did very little to help sway her thoughts from where they were currently stationed.

She had been drowning in her own brain from the moment they arrived at their camp late last night, and she was sure she wouldn't be free to stop anytime soon. Replaying all her actions, trying to see what she could have done better. The answer to that was a whole hell of a lot, starting at the beginning when she ignored Natsu's rightly nervous warnings. He was always right about these things, she should have listened. This, though, also caused agitation, because how could somebody that had practical cabbage for brains always be right. She prided herself on her intellect, but her street skills were becoming a chronically flunked elective. And there Natsu would be to prove her wrong, standing strong and ready to save the day. Only this time, he didn't. And everything was mixed and upside down.

Her throat burned, and Lucy had to stagger herself to withhold the childish whine. Natsu's stitches were a downright hack job, pulling at her skin in gruesome ways. She now understood why Mira got so pent up when he tried to mend himself. To be fair, he had practically begged her not to force his hand. His eyes had been so dark, almost black when she told him that he had too. She couldn't do it herself, vision already wavering from either head trauma or the obvious blood loss. "I can't do this to you." He had protested. Sitting there looking like a beaten child with a thick, blunt and rather dull sewing needle gripped between his two fingers. He had scavenged it from the mouldy kitchen, along with a long thread he had torn from the moth ridden couch. The jar of moonshine popped open to drench his fingers and tools. Her small first aid pouch lost somewhere in the mine. "I'm going to bleed out." She had retorted bluntly. To which, he said. "It's going to hurt." While taking a jarring swig of the moonshine pot, and managing to keep his expressive features schooled from the taste. She figured dying of blood loss would be far worse and sat herself on the green and white checkered floor beside him. Crawling between his somewhat spread legs(as far as the cramped bathroom would allow) and resting so her back was on his chest. The first stitch was brutal, the needle getting caught on her skin in all the wrong ways. She bit down on his bicep to keep from screaming, just like he had instructed. Her mouth tasted of iron, her teeth piercing his skin, but he didn't complain so she didn't either. Natsu sometimes grunted disapprovingly from behind her. His trembling hands trying to soothe her with circles on her back. It didn't get any easier, by the fifth stitch she was a teary mess, and she could have sworn she felt the shudder of Natsu's chest while he choked back his own sobs.

They hadn't spoken much since then. The night was silent, Lucy curled up alone on the mattress and Natsu hunched over on the terrace. Keeping watch, he had told her while wrapping her up in his favourite travelling blanket. One Mira had knitted him after hearing he had arrived at the guild with nothing. The yarn was well worn, and matted in places. Three (clearly sewn on by Natsu) patches were situated on the lower half. But it was clean and smelt like him. Volcanic ash and spiced cinnamon, clashing with rain-forest mist and sap drizzled bark. Only on the exhale could you taste the mint, and not once did the sensation lack in its delivery of peace. He didn't sleep at all that night, she knew because she didn't either. Nor did he do much watching, instead he spent the dark hours studying his boots, the ones he had traded his mud-caked sandals for. He didn't look up once and she knew it was because the night sky was ruined for him. His glorious moon had fallen and now the sky held only black.

When the sun's rays had barely scraped over the landscape Natsu stood, stretched briefly before darting inside. Lucy pushed herself up upon his arrival, hoping he was coming to help talk her through what her mind couldn't digest. That wasn't his goal though, as he informed her he was heading out to meet the client. He owes us a reward, he informed. She pleaded with him not to go, that it wasn't worth it and the job was a lost cause. He looked about ready to explode and said "The gang is gone. We did what he asked. And I'm getting that fucking book." Short and to the point, then he was out the door, nearly slipping on the edge of his cloak in hurry. That was four hours ago and the cold had already numbed her skin to the pain and lost its distracting effect. Lucy was worried, and if he didn't show up soon she was sure to do something rash. She lit the last of her three cigarettes, relishing in the spin it gifted her head and the sour taste that burned her throat.

Several minutes passed before his cloaked frame rounded the street corner and Lucy inhaled deeply again, trying to let her heart palpitations slow. He stopped just before the front doors, staring at her from his spot on the cobble path two stories lower. His eye's fixated on the cigarette in her fingers. He gave his head a meaningful shake before heading in, it was only seconds before she heard his boots thunking across the hall's floorboards. She crept back through the bedroom window, meeting him as he emerged through the door.

"That's a pretty nasty habit you've picked up?"

His almost cheerful sounding remark caught her off guard, not that his constantly changing emotions didn't always. She raised her brow at him, sealing the windowed entrance behind her to cut off the colds connection. He looked worse than when he left, covered in mud and sporting a new gash on his brow with a matching set on his lower lip. She always hated when it was his face that got beaten.

"How did it go?" She chose to bat, ignoring his observation. She knew he noticed the way she was eyeing his new injuries, he chose to ignore that too.

"Fine. I got the book." Her eye's widened a fraction but she didn't ask to see it. The very idea of it seemed distasteful for the moment, the words too heavy for her tongue. "Are you feeling alright? Your flushed." His quick flip of the subject had again taken her off guard. She wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or because she really didn't feel that well, the irking feeling her throat was infected constantly pestering her. Or maybe it was the way his deep orbs lingered a little too long on her face, all concern and no lust that caused her to redden more. It was fact that no other man in her entire life had ever looked at her with such respect. She might have told him so, if not for the tremendously awful situation they were trapped in. He stepped towards her, placing the back of his hand to her forehead and retracting it quickly. "Jesus Lucy you're freezing!" Yeah, maybe it was just the temperature that caused her cherry colouring. "How long were you outside?"

"How did you get those?" She bounced back, gesturing to his newly sported lacerations. Natsu grunted in frustration and shook his head, taking hold of her shoulders and guiding her to sit on the mattress. He sat behind her, wrapping his sculpted arms around her frame and warming his skin until Lucy felt she was being held down by a radiator. She could tell he wanted to leave, getting home was at the very top of his priority list. But she knew he wouldn't push until he deemed her warm and well enough for travel.

"It's chaotic out there, got into a bit of a scuff. S'fine." He partly explained.

"Did anybody die?"

"No. Wasn't that bad."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

They were quiet for a minute, listening only to one another's breathing. She missed when Natsu was younger, like when she had just met him. He couldn't keep a secret, and he most certainly wouldn't be vague like this. Wanting to spill the story so he wasn't alone in dealing with it, that it was in someone else's head too. More recently he seemed to internalize everything, and this was no exception.

"I was only outside for a bit." One shabby answer for another.

"Bullshit, you're freezing."

"It's summer."

"It's freezing."

"Yeah."

Silence for another beat.

"You shouldn't do that, you could get frostbite."

Lucy ignored him then, swivelling herself so she was facing him. Their noses were practically touching, she could feel his warm breath and spy every freckle that danced over the slope of his nose. A sigh escaped her as she scrounged up the courage to ask what they were both thinkings. "What do we do when we're home?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

His expression then reminded her of the time she had caught him and Lissana sneaking off together after Elfman's birthday. It was the same expression he wore when she tried to kiss him out behind the greenhouses. The scene had been romantic if she recalled properly. Low sunsets and blossom petals scattering over the FairyTail grounds like a soothing aura. He had been drinking, Lucy could tell from her spot behind the farthest gardening shed. Maybe he had simply been too tipsy to notice her approach with that hound nose, or maybe he just didn't care. His eyes were blown wide like her family's holiday dinner plates, watching as a bashful Lissana perched on the tips of her toes, snagging her fingers on his signature scarf and pulling him down to meet her lips. His eye's closed only momentarily before he shifted back some, gently staggering to put some space between their lips. "What are you doing?" She had asked him. And there, that was the same face he was wearing now, as if the brain behind his onyx eyes had melted away. An empty skull playing an act. "I don't know." He said just the same.

And they sat in that silence for a while, until Natsu decided she looked alive enough to go, or that she looked too bad to stay any longer. Her throat was definitely infected, and she felt like a man clawing through withdrawal. But she knew her dragon would get her home safely and she closed her eyes and let him gather their things. She must have walked with him to the station, but the rest of their travel was mostly a blur from there.

Their treck home from magnolia station very much reminded Lucy of her first encounter with Natsu, strung up across his chest, incased in his rigid arms while he carried her with ease. Her conscious state somewhat unreliable. Though back then, his expression hadn't been so grim and his shoulders hadn't been so tense. The tear in his brow had re-opened slightly over their walk, a line of red slowly drawing down the edge of his face. She had watched it drip patiently, over the edge of his cheekbones and down his cheek until it dipped under his jaw and she had to turn away. Seeing his blood always pained something in her she'd rather ignore. She wished he would whisper calming words against her cheek like he had last time. She still couldn't remember the words he spoke, but the feeling of calm had stayed with her all these years. But he didn't, not even a glance her way. And Lucy decided that if this was a new beginning like it was back then, she didn't like it at all. She closed her eyes and hoped her swaying brain would help her forget it.

Their arrival back home didn't pan to be something she wanted to remember either. Apparently Lissana had been very vocal about going on a job with Natsu, and their guild-mates had been quick to notice her absence in their return. They all poured out questions of her whereabouts, and why they looked so sick and beaten. But Natsu didn't answer, so Lucy didn't either. He kept his line of sight true as he marched her up to the infirmary, where thankfully it was only Porlyusica on shift. She didn't ask too many questions, only made comment to tell them moonshine is an awful disinfectant and these stitches are horrendous but they probably saved her life. Lucy was just thankful Mira wasn't back yet and working today, she just wasn't sure if she'd be able to look at her yet. Natsu stayed with her just long enough for Porlyusica to say she would be fine in a few days with the proper medication and rest. Almost as soon as she finished speaking he was out the door mumbling that he was going off to tell the headmaster the mission report. Lucy begged with him to wait, that she would go with him, but he wouldn't. And for hours after, the castle's walls rang with the cries of their substitute father.

Lucy was put on bed rest for no less than a week. She was cleaned thoroughly and re-stiched with skilled hands. Natsu had been completely resistful about his own medical care and had waited in the hall for Porlyusica to finish with her tasks. After that though, he perched himself at the foot of her bed and didn't leave until she was permitted to do so as well. Sneaking in cigarettes to smoke when the nurses changed shift. And for every night following her release, he did the same, sleeping against her wall at the foot of her dorm bed. It was like he was watching her, scared that if he looked away she would disappear too. His whole personality had been turned down about twelve notches, his internal fire seemed so smothered. She was never alone anymore, constantly coddled by him. And though she appreciated his constant presence and care, it grinded her a little that he wouldn't even spare her a walk alone through the grounds. Silently following her just out of range.

Another week and a half passed before Mira, Elfman, and Laxus returned from their job. Lucy had woken to Natsu pacing her room rather frantic. His hair spiked from stressful finger snags and his scarf strained over his shoulders while he pulled. "Are you okay?" She mumbled, her throat raspy with sleep. Her voice seemed to startle him, causing him to turn slightly and whip his head around to face her. Eye's wide and shoulder's flexed. This in itself was strange, for Natsu, with his uncanny scenes, wasn't one to be caught off guard. He shook his head slightly, running his hands through his hair once more before taking a seat atop her desk.

"Mira and Elfman got back this morning." He mumbled, scuffing his sandal on the floor.

"Oh." His announcement turned her stomach, metaphorically mangling her insides and shrinking her ribcage until the air felt thin.

She nodded towards him slightly, pulling a pack from her bedside table. He practically ripped it from her hand, mumbling that it "Wasn't good for her." before lighting one for himself. He then kicked the edge of her dresser to his front, swearing loudly and moving to fidget with his hair again. Lucy let out a stifled exhale and curled in on herself, tucking her legs against her chest and wrapping them with her arms. Natsu never acted like this, like a child having a tantrum. This is the Natsu that frightened her the most, when he was careless and frantic. He was already impulsive on a good day, and it regularly got him in trouble. So this was only a time bomb in the making. Once his dark eye's met hers again they softened almost instantly. "I'm sorry, just kinda stressed out I think."

Lucy was careful in her approach, sliding across the bed to stand next to him. She slipped her arms under his, around his chest and pulled him close in a loose hug. She rested her chin on his shoulder and laced her fingers at the nape of his neck, twisting his pink locks around his finger. "Do they know yet?" She whispered, keeping up her ministrations when he stiffened significantly.

"No, they're in Gramp's office waiting on me now."

"Oh..." She spewed again. She pulled away from him slightly, resting her forehead on his for a moment. "Just let me get dressed, I'll come down with you."

She turned away from him in the direction of her closet, but he grabbed her wrist, holding her in place. "I don't know how to do this again." His words barely slipped out under his breath. A simply broken statement from a broken man.

It was true this wasn't the first time he had reported such awful news to the Strauss siblings. He had told Lucy once before that when he was younger, Lissana had begged him to take her out on a job. He asked Mira for her permission, but she evidently had said no, that she wasn't ready to go off on a job with a kid that always got into trouble and constantly snuck out on jobs that were far too high in ranking for his skill level. Natsu being the stubborn child he was though, stole a job request with a senior rank and took little Lissana along. As expected, the enemy was far superior and bested them quickly. Natsu lost Lissana in the commotion, and after days of desperate searching, he had to give in. Thankfully Laxus found her almost half a year later while travelling home.

"When they heard the news Elfman cried for days, I thought it would never end, it was awful." The dragon slayer shook his head again, finally offering her a hit of his cigarette with an apologetic look for his earlier reaction. "Mira though, I'll never forget it. It's like I could see her heart shatter through her eyes. I wanted her to yell and scream, to get mad or something, I felt so guilty but she didn't." He tossed Lucy a look filled with such pain and anguish, one that should never have melted over his structured face. "She just held me for hours, kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that everything would be okay, she even smiled at me. And for months after, she had these awful nightmares where she would cry out for Lissana, and god the sound, I swear I can still hear it sometimes."

"Natsu..." The blonde tried to console, "You were just a child, it was an accident." She tried to squeeze his hand in comfort but he pulled away, sliding from the edge of her desk to stretch freely in the of the small room.

"I'm not a child anymore Lucy. This is worse than back then. Laxus cant find her this time." He was done talking now, she could tell with the way he held his posture. Natsu wasn't one to open up and maul things over with another person. This being a rare occurrence for him, she didn't want to push him farther, in fear he would spin out in his own thoughts and make a rash decision. He was so complex, Lucy found she always struggled with trying to support him the way he deserved. He hated feeling pitied or coddled, the wrong response could push him to months of emotional silence. And she knew for a fact that this morning report was going to do just that.

The meeting went just as awful as Natsu had described. Elfman cried howls that rivalled hungry dogs, a shaking mess that contradicted his overly pressed masculinity while Laxus stood stoic behind him, a firm hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder. Mira acted just the same, a warm smile pressed to her lips while she gathered a broken Natsu in her arms. Whispering gentle words against his neck while she toyed with his wild hair. Lucy watched her partner deplete at her side, the lights dulling from his onyx orbs with every word that left Mira's subtle pout. This time though, the silver-haired woman couldn't wait for her nightmares to control her grief, and as soon as the grand oak doors closed her away from the office the cry that split the hall rattled Lucy's bones. A sound that knew no happiness and danced only with the dark.

Again, check here to read ahead and find bonus content :) ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/1/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke