#I thought about this when listening to wish you were gay and imagining it from Elizabeth's perspective I feel like that speaks in volumes

[imp-thing]

Everyday I mourn that we never got to see Elizabeth's perspective on John and Abigail's affair in more detail. I wish we could've got to see her reaction when she found out. Her sadness, her anger, her throwing out Abigail, her scolding John for his actions and cowardness, and most of all, her thought process of how she came to the conclusion to forgive him instead of ratting him out in the court. All I want is them fighting and arguing, is that too much to ask for?

[targaryenluvs]

OUR LITTLE DOVE

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal

word count: 3.0k

a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!

he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.

you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.

you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.

you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy

And not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.

As rough as a briar

Like walking through fire

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?

I've taken some hits, so

No wonder I'm wary It's why

I need you

so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.

You're as pure as the driven snow

your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.

your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.

hope could only get you so far.

your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.

what on earth could you provide her with?

“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!

your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.

“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”

you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.

“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”

but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?

his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.

“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.

was this your chance?

you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.

but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.

your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.

even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?

“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”

“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.

you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.

crack.

you’d been found. you fucked up.

“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”

his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.

the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.

you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.

“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”

“she should eat something better.”

“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”

he was smiling, you could tell.

“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”

you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.

“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”

“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”

“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”

coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.

“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”

you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.

coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.

“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.

“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.

his, his, his.

with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.

lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.

your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.

don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.

not with her in the way.

you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.

here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.

obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.

“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”

and you did.

when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.

when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.

through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.

through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.

when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.

when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.

you had no idea why at this point.

for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.

for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.

you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.

and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.

maybe you’d grow up and find love.

maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.

maybe we’ll heal.

you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.

you’ll always be his little dove.

[thoughtsonkm]

Goodbye, for now

BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!

This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.

~

SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :

Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin

~

It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.

Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)

~

Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol

~

Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏

~

Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂

I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..

NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol

His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂

~

No one ever:

Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY

(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)

~

They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..

Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS

HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't

BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.

~

This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.

~

"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK

Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??

~

Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.

I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU

Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭

The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.

Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.

Signing off, J&J 🥹

Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?

[kpopsexstories]

NCT Dream Dating Ban #5: Jeno Pt. 2

NCT Jeno can’t date girls. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs. (Part 2 of 2)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jeno x Bottom male reader

Content: Jeno fucks you hard on Jisung's bed, Chenle and Jaemin listen in and jerk off

Type of Sex: WILD

Word Count: 2.1k

Click here to read Part 1.

Jaemin and Chenle are in the living room, on opposite ends of the Dream dorm couch. They're staring wide-eyed at Jisung's closed door while drooling from the corner of their mouths. Jeno is fucking you hard inside and it's driving the boys wild.

Their senses are on high alert. They listen intently to every nuance in the repetitive squeaks of Jisung's bed and mattress. They imagine the hot sex, what you and Jeno are doing to each other just a room away.

They both have a pillow on their laps, and Chenle has pulled his knees and feet onto the couch. Mark was sitting between them only moments ago, but has since retreated to his room. Chenle and Jaemin haven't even noticed that he left.

“Fuck this is hot!” Jaemin exclaims. His hand is massaging and squeezing his hard dick over his clothes under the pillow.

Chenle lets out a dolphin-like laugh. “I wish the others weren't recording today,” he says and adjusts his pants. “Do you think Jisung is okay with them having sex in his bed?”

“He'd probably laugh about it,” Jaemin says without taking his eyes off the door. His arm moves gently as he strokes himself.

“He'd probably be in there with them.”

Jaemin glances at his friend and smiles a crooked smile. “I bet you wish you were.”

Chenle sneers, but Jaemin is right. “Your friend is so hot. Jisung is lucky he gets to sleep with him every night.”

“Have you slept with him yet?” Jaemin asks. “All the others have.”

“No. Have you?”

“No.”

Chenle turns to glare at his friend. “What, really?” he asks, genuinely surprised. “Never?”

“Never,” Jaemin confirms.

“But… All those bike trips you take every year. I thought for sure you were more than just friends. Have you never had sex when you're out?”

“No, why would we? He's just my friend.”

“I just thought…”

Ahh, Jeno, fuck my ass!

Chenle stops talking mid sentence. The boys adjust their positions when they hear your muffled moan.

Yes, yes, fuck me harder with your big cock!

Jeno isn't quiet either. Ahhgh, uuhhh, fuuck! he groans loudly.

Jaemin starts stroking his bone a little faster. The pillows really serve no purpose. Even Chenle is borderline jerking off next to his friend.

“I really do wish the others were here to witness this,” Chenle says.

“Yeah,” Jaemin agrees without really paying attention. The sounds and fantasies are making the boys so hard.

*****

You're on your back on the bed, legs spread wide and Jeno's big dick pushing in and out of your ass. He's towering over you, the full length of his body gliding violently back and forth in your arms. He's fucking you missionary style by rocking his body and thrusting his ass and hips fast up and down.

“Ahh, Jeno, fuck me!” you repeat while taking in the sight end feel of his toned body tensing. “Fuuck, your cock feels so good.”

Jeno's face is directly above yours. He alters between closing his eyes and grimacing, and opening them wide to focus fully on yours. You've been going at it for quite a while and you're impressed by his endurance. Considering the dating ban and how rough and eager he's been in the way he handles your body it's quite a feat that he hasn't come inside you already.

“Mm, yeah!” he grunts and suddenly sits up on his knees. His dick falls out of your ass as he pushes on your thigh.

You flip around and stand on all four in front of him. His hands find your hips and he pulls them toward his groin. He guides his dick between your cheeks and pull your ass onto his shaft.

“Ahh, fuck,” he groans when he begins to fuck you slowly from behind. “Ahhh, fuuuck!”

He picks up the pace. His fingers tighten around your sides. Then he lifts a hand and spanks you.

“Yeah, slap my ass,” you encourage him. “Ahh, harder!”

Jeno spanks your cheek harder with one hand. He's really going at it, using you as his sex toy, thrusting his hips fast and pulling your ass hard onto his dick.

“Yeah, you like this?” he asks and slaps you again. You can hear the grin on his face.

“Y-yes,” you whimper for him. “Oh, yes!”

He spanks you harder, causing your cheek to shake while his dick fills your hole.

“Can I come inside you?” he suddenly asks. The question surprises you.

“Ehm, yeah,” you say, confused because you thought the answer was obvious. “Why would you not?”

“I don't want to get any diseases. Are you clean?“

That's when it dawns on you that, maybe, Jeno has actually never had sex with a man before. He's probably used to pussy, or as used to it as the dating ban allows.

You laugh out loud. “That's not how it works,” you say. “You're already inside me.”

But Jeno has stopped listening. He suddenly pulls out, abruptly and without warning. He sits on his knees, grabs his dick and squeeze your waist hard.

“Ahhhgh, fuu-UUCK!” he shouts.

He shoots his load across your lower back. It sprays your red ass and reaches as far up as just below your shoulder blade, leaving a long, thick white string parallel to your spine. You bury your face in the sheets as you feel the hot cum land on your skin.

Fuck, this is hot! you think and moan.

*****

Jaemin and Chenle have heard your muffled screams through the wall. Ahhhgh, fuu-UUCK! It's abundantly clear to everyone that Jeno has just orgasmed.

Chenle quickly and instinctively gets up and hastily makes his way to the door. He stops and puts his ear against it while squeezing his bulge.

Jaemin, equally curious and deprived, follows.

“You think they're done?” Chenle asks and looks up.

“Sounds like it,” Jaemin whispers. “Fuck, I should never have closed the door.”

Another muffled groan is suddenly heard, coming from a few doors down the hall. Ah, ahhh!

It's Mark who's moaning as he comes in his underwear, turned on and brought over the edge by his own hand and Jeno's loud orgasm.

Chenle and Jaemin look at each other. They smirk and giggle, then cover their mouths as not to get caught.

“Well,” Chenle says. “It sounds like the fun is over. I need a nap.”

Jaemin gives him a playful side-eye, but Chenle has already turned away from him.

“Me too. I'm super tired.”

That's a lie and they both know it. As Chenle and Jaemin rush to their own respective rooms and beds, sleep is the last thing on their minds.

They're hot, horny and have just listened to their own private porn show. They're the only two who haven't had their thirsts clenched by you.

Jaemin especially feels neglected by you, for reasons you will come to know soon enough. If you're too busy satisfying everyone else, what else can he do than to satisfy himself?

*****

Chenle doesn't waste any time and he doesn't last long. He's about to burst in his pants the second the door to his bedroom closes behind him. He pulls them down and throws himself onto the bed.

He lies on his back and takes out his dick. He jerks it, slow at first while imagining Jeno's sexy body plowing into yours. Then faster, harder, until he comes and his load shoots onto his stomach and trickles down his hand and shaft.

“Ahh, ummngh,” he moans softly while grimacing and panting excessively. “Fuuck!”

A few doors away, Jaemin is standing by a mirror hanging above a table along the wall. He's taken his shirt off and his pants and underwear have fallen to his ankles.

His phone is on the table. He stares at the screen with big eyes, while jerking and stroking his dick fast. He's looking at a picture of you, standing knee deep in a lake in a forest in only your underwear. It was taken last year, and you have no idea that Jaemin has jerked off to it on numerous occasions since then.

When he's close to coming, however, Jaemin quickly looks up. He stares at himself in the mirror, at his toned body and hard dick. He's imagining your ass in front of him, fucking you hard from behind.

His thoughts are interrupted when the front door to the apartment slams shut. The other boys have returned home, and he decides he better finish quick.

He reaches for a box of tissues on the table, then closes his eyes and stroke a little faster. He squeezes his shaft with his fingers as a ring around it, takes several tissues from the box, and plays out a sexual fantasy in his head.

Mmm, fuck yeah! he thinks when he explodes. He shoots his load into the ball of paper, leans over the table with his mouth wide open as not to spill on the floor, then opens his eyes and looks at his face in the mirror.

*****

“Fuck Jeno, you're incredible,” you pant and turn round. He stands up on the floor by the foot of the bed and you slide your feet and legs between his thighs.

He's heaving for air above you. You feel his muscular body with your hands, tracing your fingers across his abs.

His chest moves far in and out. His lungs are working hard as he struggles to catch his breath.

“You think the others heard?” you ask with a naughty smile. You scoot your ass to the edge of the bed, look up at Jeno's flustered face, then take his dick and put it in your mouth.

“Ohh, fuck,” Jeno says and throws his head back. You kiss the head and lick the cum off his big shaft.

He looks down and your eyes meet. “Yeah,” he says and smirks. “They heard. They're probably jerking off right now.”

A door outside is suddenly slammed shut and Haechan's voice can be heard. The boys are back, and that means Jisung has probably returned too.

You suddenly feel a panic coming on. It's no secret that you've had sex with almost everyone in the shared apartment, but you've just done it in your best friend's bed and he wasn't in it with you.

Jeno calmly steps away from you. You glance at his back and ass when he walks around the bed, leans down and picks up the towel he wore when he came in.

You get up and look around to find your clothes. Jeno comes up to you with the towel in hand. “Turn around,” he says.

He wipes your back with long and gentle strokes to clean up the mess he's made. While he jerks off daily it's been ages since he last had sex, resulting in a sexual charge and release that was long overdue, at least in relation to how frequently the man had sex before the company tightened their dating ban.

The sheer volume of cum on your back proves that Jeno really needed this. And you have no idea how thankful he is that you were there to help him.

“I'll go take another shower,” he says when he's done cleaning you up. You turn and watch as he wraps the soiled towel around his waist. “Wanna join?”

You don't get a chance to respond. The door suddenly opens and Jisung is standing in it. He stares at you with wide eyes, and a faint smile appears on his lips when he realizes what he's walked in on.

Jeno slowly makes his way past him, naked and with a certain pride and satisfaction in his walk. “I need a shower,” he repeats and smiles at his friend.

Jisung steps inside and closes the door behind him while you begin to put your clothes back on.

“Had fun?” he asks and unzips his hoodie. He takes it off and throws it on the bed, then pulls a black t-shirt over his head.

“Yeah,” you say and smile at his shirtless body.

Jisung approaches you. He wants to relax after a long day in the studio.

“Don't bother,” he says and takes your shirt from your hand. He puts his arms around your body, grabs your sides and spins you around, then pushes you forward in the direction of he bed.

“My turn,” he continues and takes off his pants behind you. He doesn't even ask your permission. “You're leaving in a few days.”

Click here to read Part 1.

[lesbianoms]

Fantasizing about going out on a date with an older woman who seems pure and vanilla on the surface. We end up talking about personal stuff and somehow end up on the subject of kinks.

After a while I reluctantly reveal to her that I’m into vore, and after telling her what it is her eyes widen in surprise and she just says, “oh.”

We say goodbye to each other and I go home, agonizing over the date and her mannerisms and overthinking literally everything like the gay little disaster I am.

And then I get a text. From her. And it’s a video.

I open it up and she’s standing in her bedroom, grinning warmly. She explains, “I thought about what you told me, and I wanted to do something special for you.”

She picks up a container and there’s a tiny inside, a man, who looks 0% frightened and 110% pissed off. My jaw probably drops at this point.

“Don’t ask how, but I managed to get my ex-husband shrunk down to a more… bite-sized helping.”

He looks about 4-6 inches tall, like he fits perfectly on her palm. She picks him up by the collar of his shirt, licking her lips. Her ex starts thrashing and shouting at her to let him go, put him down, how she’s a psycho and he’s glad he divorced her, etc.

She completely ignores his protests and his shouts of anger and just smiles into the camera.

“This one’s for you, sweetie~”

She lowers him towards her mouth.

“You crazy bitch! Let me go! I swear to God I’ll-”

Slurp. Her lips close around him before he can finish. I hear a loud gulp on camera and she tilts her head up as she slowly, seductively traces his shape down her throat.

Then she lifts up her shirt revealing her bare tummy. She hums softly, posing with her arms above her head, and the video is in such high quality that I’m able to see the exact moment he lands in her stomach.

She lets out a small burp, chuckling as she pats her belly. Pulling the camera close, she says in a milky purr, “Wanna listen?”

Immediately she presses her phone up to the center of her belly, and I hear the loud roar of her stomach fill my headphones. Between all the glorps and gurgles of her sexy stomach, I can hear the muffled sounds of her ex-husband’s voice. He’s cursing her, screaming at her and demanding to be let out.

“Bet you wish that was you, huh?” she asks. Her mature voice goes even lower as she teases me.

The video focuses on the close-up of her belly for a few minutes. She’s moving it every now and then so that it slowly sloshes up and down, like a belly dancer. I can hear the digestive groans of her ex inside, being felt up and squeezed by her walls. The sounds both relax me and turn me on, and being able to watch him squirm inside of her is really something else ❤️

“Come with me.”

She takes the camera with her as she walks down to the kitchen, where she opens up the fridge and takes out a bottle of wine. She places the camera on the kitchen counter, angling it so that the view is just under her belly.

I can see the writhing form of her prey as he gets churned around by her stomach walls. She uncorks the wine, pours herself a glass, lifts it up towards the camera in a toast.

“Cheers,” she says slyly, and she begins downing the glass.

I can hear the wine filling her up and entering her tummy, sloshing around inside as the wiggling lump of her ex-husband cries out. He disappears from view for a second until she pushes out her stomach, and I hear the bubbling of brewing wine mixed with the occasional groans of a liquid-filled gut. I can only imagine him sloshing around in there with the wine…

“Oh, I’m gonna feel that in the morning-”*uurrp!!*

She walks back to the bedroom, pressing the phone to her belly so that I can hear each slosh of its contents as she ascends the staircase.

“You know, I can feel that bastard struggling in there... I think he's trying to give me indigestion. Like he hasn’t already given me enough bellyaching when we were married! ... I'm sure you'd be much better behaved~"

Hearing back into the bedroom, she lays on the bed. She points the phone down at her tummy and pats it. The noises from inside are clear as day on the video.

About a minute or so of rubbing her active belly, she pulls down her jeans and tugs on the band of her underwear so that more of her lower belly is visible.

“Wanna see something cool?” she asks.

She puts the camera down with her other hand and feels around for her ex-husband, pressing down on a slightly bulging spot on her tummy.

“There he is,” she mumbles.

Then, she takes the front of her fingers and massages deep into her belly, kneading, pressing into her gut with an audible glorp.

I watch as she pushes the shape along her skin, towards her pelvis, and with a rush I realize what she’s doing. A particularly loud gurgle sounds out from her middle as she guides him down into her lower belly. I hear his muffled moaning as he shifts through her.

“Oohhh, I think he’s in my intestines now~” she says seductively.

I can see the wiggling form below her belly button, and I imagine what it must be like for him in there. So tight, and hot, and wet, and slippery… I wonder how much he’s filling out her bowels as he moves around inside…

She hums in delight and traces circles around him. His struggles pick up the pace as he seemingly tries to fight his way out of his ex-wife’s body. She squirms in pleasure, twirling the elastic band of her underwear and rubbing her lower belly with her other.

Eventually her body tires him out, and when his movements begin to slow, she pulls the elastic out and snaps it back so that it covers the bulge he makes completely. Covered by both flesh and cloth now, her belly bulge of an ex-husband whimpers faintly. His fate is sealed; her stomach gives a satisfied grumble.

Lifting the camera, she says, “Did you enjoy your surprise, honey? Ah, I hope you did. I can’t wait to see you again… and I’d love to feel you inside me. I’m still new to this whole thing, maybe you could give me some pointers. And I’m sure your cute little body would fill me riiight up~”

She looks down at her abdomen and frowns, huffs out a sigh, and finishes with, “Gotta go now, my hubby isn’t- *hic* quite agreeing with me…”

[inawickedlittletown]

Just Let Me Adore You (BuckTommy) - 7/9

Summary: What if…instead of Chimney taking the role of interim Captain of the 118, Tommy is asked to take on the role.

Or, what happens when Buck meets Tommy in S2

Words: 3.6k

Notes: Title from Adore You by Harry Styles

Read on Ao3

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Part Four - Part Five - Part Six

-

Part Seven

Tommy couldn’t be sure if Evan’s hand had been aiming for his. It bothered him that whatever had been happening between him and Evan, the moment was gone. At first, he’d been a little amused by the waitress and maybe a little bit hoping that Evan might react to her like he had that time with the guy at the call. He didn’t like the idea of making Evan jealous, but it was something of a tell and it might give Tommy the push to actually say something to Evan about his feelings. 

Evan seemed to find it funny too, at least until the interruption with the pepper flakes and Tommy didn’t blame him. Once she was gone, Evan cleared his throat. He looked away from Tommy and then back again. 

“Uh, did you know otter moms wrap their babies with seaweed?” 

Tommy shook his head. It was not what he was expecting Evan to say, but as he’d learned over the last few weeks, sometimes Evan’s research seemed to be one of his favorite ways to change the subject and it would just burst out of him. 

“How’d you end up on otters?” Tommy asked. 

“Insta reel,” Evan said and he pulled out his phone to show Tommy a mom otter with her baby. “They leave them floating like that while they go fetch them food.” 

The otters did look pretty cute, fluffy in a way that Tommy hadn’t expected. He listened to Evan as he told them about how otters held hands while they slept and how their little huddles of floating otter bodies was called a raft. 

The waitress returned several times, but Tommy had decided that he wasn’t giving her any more attention — not that he’d done more than be polite with her earlier. Evan was quick to dismiss her everytime and when she showed up when he was mid-sentence, he finished his whole thought before turning to her. Tommy tried not to laugh. When their food came, she tried to talk to Tommy again until Evan told her they didn’t need anything, least of all their food going cold. 

She didn’t seem to know how to reply before walking away, though Tommy did catch her trying to see if he would say anything. 

“Hmm, maybe I should bring you along everywhere I go so you can get rid of anyone that bothers me,” Tommy said. 

“So I was right,” Evan said. 

“What?” 

“That this happens to you a lot.”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t,” Tommy said. “But it kinda happens like this. Women I want nothing to do with and at work where I’m more concerned with keeping the helicopter in the air or busy getting someone to safety. I’m sure you know what it’s like.” 

“I guess so,” Evan said. 

Tommy gave him a look. “Don’t act like you don’t know what you look like, Evan.”

Evan blushed so pretty, his cheeks pinking up. 

“I — that is—”

The waitress returned again. She smiled at him. “Just checking in, how is everything?” 

“Food’s great,” Evan said, clearing his throat. “But it looks like that table needs you.” 

Tommy tried to keep in a laugh as Evan pointed behind her to a table where a middle-aged woman was actually holding her credit card in the air. She didn’t look happy. There might not be a tip coming fron that table.

“It’s rude enough as is,” Evan said, “but imagine if we were actually on a date.” 

Imagine. As if Tommy hadn’t been thinking about it. As if Tommy didn’t desperately wish that it was a date. As if Tommy hadn’t been feeling like he was younger than he actually was because at his age he shouldn’t be this nervous and unsure about the person he liked. When Melton had called him a baby gay when he first came out to him, this was what he meant, but Tommy had never experienced it like this. He blamed all of that on Evan. 

“If we were on a date,” Tommy said, and he knew his heart was beating way too hard in his chest, “we would have let her know that somehow.” 

“Oh?” Evan asked. “How’s that?” 

Tommy took a moment. He watched Evan, noticed the pinkness of the birthmark over his eyebrow, the way that his lips were almost the same color and how he was looking at Tommy like the next thing he said mattered a hell of a whole lot. 

“I would hold your hand and maybe I’d kiss you just to get the message across if that wasn’t enough and everytime she came over I’d use a different term of endearment. We would lay it on thick, Evan.”  

Evan laughed, but he looked a little flustered as he drank the rest of his beer. 

“Is that all?” 

“What, did you need to play footsie under the table too?” 

Tommy nudged Evan’s foot with his own gently. 

Evan laughed. 

When Tommy asked for the check, he should have known her number would be on the receipt. Evan noticed it as he tried to argue that they should split the bill. 

“Nope,” Tommy said. “Not when we’re here celebrating your cast coming off.” 

Evan didn’t fight him on it, but after Tommy’s credit card came back, Evan grabbed the paper with the number and the pen. 

“Evan, what are you doing?” 

Evan wrote something on the paper and then closed it before Tommy could look at it. 

“Evan, I still need to leave her a tip,” Tommy said. 

Despite it all, he’d feel bad if he didn’t leave her something. He opened the little black book and laughed the moment he saw what Evan had written. 

Next time, make sure he’s straight…and single : )

“But I am single,” Tommy said, looking up at Evan. 

“She doesn’t need to know that,” Evan said. “And besides, didn’t you say you had your eye on someone. That kinda makes you unavailable, don’t you think?” 

Tommy just wrote out the lowest tip amount suggested and signed it. “Is that how you feel? Unavailable because you have a crush?” 

Evan gave a short nod. He took a breath and then met Tommy’s eyes dead on. “Maybe because I think I have a chance. Do I, Tommy?”

“Do you…Evan, are you—”

Evan was biting his lower lip. He was looking at Tommy, though, eyes caught on him. 

“Of course. Of course you have a chance.” 

Tommy could hardly believe it. He stared at him, more than a little incredulous.

“See,” Evan said, “not a lie. And maybe you were on a date the whole time. And maybe wishes wished on eyelashes that aren’t your own do come true.” 

Tommy chuckled. “You are a bit of a menace, aren’t you.” 

“Can be. But you like it.” 

He did. He really really did. They stared at each other for a moment, smiling and lost in the moment. Tommy could have leaned over and kissed him, but that wasn’t how he wanted his first kiss to go. 

They didn’t talk about it while leaving the restaurant, or on the drive back to Evan’s. The silence that settled between them was comfortable. It meant that Tommy could actually think about all of it. Evan had wanted tonight to be a date almost as much Tommy had. He’d wished for it on Tommy’s own eyelash. 

When they got to Evan’s place, Evan unlocked the door and let himself in. Tommy followed and closed the door behind him, he didn’t expect for Evan to be on him. The crutches were propped up against the wall and Evan leaned into Tommy. Tommy wrapped an arm around his waist, conscious of Evan’s leg. 

“Evan,” he said and then anything else was swallowed between his lips and Evans. 

Evan kissed him with enthusiasm, his lips soft and insistent. Tommy lost himself to it, to the feel of his lips and the feel of his chest pressed up against his and to the touch of Evan’s hand on the side of his face. He groaned into the kiss and Evan deepened it, licking at the seam of Tommy’s lips and then meeting his tongue in something of a dance that made Tommy clutch Evan to him.  

“Wanted to do that for a while now,” Evan said in little more than a whisper when he pulled back for air. 

“Me too,” Tommy said back. “God, Evan, you don’t know what it’s been like.” 

“I think I do,” Evan said and then kissed him again. 

—

Kissing a man…no, kissing Tommy, it was everything and more than Buck could have imagined. Tommy’s stubble scratched against Buck’s skin in such a delicious way and the taste of his lips just left him wanting more. Knowing that Tommy wanted him back, that Buck hadn’t been the only one wanting more for their friendship made all of it even more important. He hadn’t made up all the times that Tommy’s touch had lingered, or the way that Tommy’s eyes would follow him. 

After Tommy left, Buck could hardly stop thinking about it. He and Tommy had kissed. They’d essentially gone on a date even if neither of them had called it that to start. Buck couldn’t wait to go on another. He couldn’t wait to have Tommy back at his apartment so that Buck could kiss him again and again. All night, he wished that he could have convinced Tommy to stay. Not that Buck even had much of an idea of what that would have entailed what with his leg, but also how he had never been with a guy before. 

He was eager for it, though. Eager to kiss and lick and touch Tommy in whatever way was possible. Buck hadn’t had sex in ages. Long before the break up with Ali, even. His hand…it was getting kinda tiring. Tommy hadn’t made it any easier. Okay, so his leg was also a factor, but it didn’t change that Buck was a guy and that having the object of his attraction — and lust — around all the time was having an effect. 

The next time he saw Tommy wasn’t until a week and a half later, but that week consisted of several texts back and forth. Flirty texts and checking in texts and texts about random things that Buck had learned from a documentary or wikipedia. None of it was enough. 

Tommy arrived to take him to PT with just enough time for Buck to gather his stuff so they could be on their way and Buck hated that he couldn’t just pull him into the apartment and kiss him silly. Tommy seemed to notice Buck’s dilemma, because his fingers tipped Buck’s chin and he leaned in to press a quick kiss to Buck’s lips. 

“Hi,” Tommy said.

“Hi,” Buck repeated. 

“You ready to go?” 

“Can we skip it?” 

Tommy laughed. “I think you want to go. And, what if I say I can reward you after?” 

“Hmm, what kind of reward?” 

Tommy helped to grab Buck’s things. “That is for you to find out.”

His reward was going to a cafe after the appointment for what Buck decided was their second date. Tommy was sneaky about paying for both of their coffees and the pastries, doing it before Buck could even pull out his wallet. Buck just figured he’d have to make up for it by taking care of their next date. 

He was hyper aware, this time, about being on a date with a guy, not that anyone cared. The world was like that, people had very little time to focus on anyone but themselves. No one screamed or got upset or offended when Buck reached for Tommy’s hand across the table. And Tommy, Tommy smiled with his nose scrunched up and the skin around his eyes crinkling. That was all that mattered. 

“The PT looks like it’s going well,” Tommy said. 

“It’s been like three sessions. Leaves my leg aching, but they say that’s normal.” 

He had a prescription for muscle relaxants for any cramping that might happen. So far he hadn’t had to take any. His physical therapist had recommended a topical cream to massage into his leg too and Maddie had been sure to buy it for him. He’d been warned it was going to be hard work getting his leg back to full function, but the good news was that he would have full motion and that his leg would be strong enough for Buck to return to his job. 

Between that and Tommy…Buck felt happier than ever. 

When they got back to his apartment, Buck was starting to really feel the ache in his leg. It had been the same last time, but Buck had headed straight home and been off his feet all day. 

He tried not to show it, but Tommy must have realized it because he led Buck right to his bed. 

Buck didn’t even protest when Tommy took Buck’s shoes off for him. He was surprised when Tommy sat down near his legs. 

“Okay if I take a look?” 

Buck took an unsure and shaky breath. “Uh. Yeah. Okay.” 

Tommy pushed the leg of his sweatpants up to reveal his leg. It didn’t look great. His skin was an uneven color and that didn’t even account for the scarring. Buck still found it hard to look at and he worried Tommy would be disgusted or that it might do something to change his mind. He turned away, closing his eyes and felt the first touch of Tommy’s fingers. 

“You said you had a topical cream?” Tommy asked, gently. 

“Hmm. On the kitchen counter.” 

“Be right back,” Tommy said, but before he left he pressed a kiss to the crown of Buck’s head. 

Buck took a glance at his leg. It had been strange to see the cast there for so long, but to uncover it and see the injury as well as all the things left over from the surgery was a different experience entirely. He shifted himself back in the bed so his back was propped up better. Tommy returned a moment later. He lifted Buck’s leg to sit and lay it over his lap. 

“Tell me I’m not crossing a line here? You look a little uncomfortable.” 

Buck reached for him, grasped his hand and brought it to his lips. “You’re kinda amazing, you know that?” 

“Oh?” 

“It’s weird,” Buck said. 

“Me touching your leg?” 

Buck shook his head. “My leg…seeing it like that.” 

It ached and seeing the way that his skin was twisted and raised and still pink in parts made it hurt more if possible. It was always going to be a reminder of what had happened to him. Buck had had his moments where he’d dwelled on the whole thing and yet because there was nothing he could do to change it, he just focused fully on what came next and getting back to his job. 

“If you don’t want me to—”

Tommy was looking at him, head tilted, a soft expression on his face. 

“No, go ahead. Thank you.” 

He didn’t begin with the cream. Instead, it was Tommy’s hands warm and lightly callused touching his leg gently. Tommy’s eyes flitted towards him to catch for any reaction as he increased the pressure of his fingers a little more in a massage that yes made him ache a little, but also helped too. Tommy’s fingers were careful over the scarring and Buck let out a moan when he hit on a spot that had been hurting him more than any other. Tommy’s hands froze there. 

“Alright?” 

“Yeah. You—you can keep going.”

The cream came next and Tommy made sure it went everywhere and that it was absorbed. The ache didn’t exactly go away, but it did feel more bearable. 

“Thank you,” he said as Tommy pulled down the leg of his sweatpants. 

He turned his face up and Tommy leaned towards him, meeting him in a soft gentle kiss. 

“Is that part of my reward?” Buck asked. 

Tommy kissed him again, keeping it chaste even when Buck tried to chase his lips to kiss him again. Tommy chuckled, but Buck grabbed his shoulders and Tommy went easily as they kissed again this time a little deeper and with the hunger that had been present in their first kiss. 

—

“You seem happier,” Maddie said one morning, when Buck climbed into her car to head to PT. 

Technically, he didn’t need to be driven anymore since he could drive himself, but Maddie had insisted since she already had the day off. 

His sessions had been going well. He’d been off the crutches for almost two weeks and the physical therapist was pleased with the way that Buck’s leg was holding up with the weight training. He still got pretty sore and his leg ached after a session, but he’d been told that was normal. Buck had also already started doing some exercise on his own. Nothing too strenuous on his leg, but something to keep the rest of him moving. 

“I’m back on my feet, Maddie, I’m getting closer and closer to getting back to work,” Buck said. 

“I think it’s more than that,” she said, peering at him.

He and Tommy hadn’t talked about telling anyone about whatever it was they had going between them. They also, clearly, hadn’t talked about labeling anything. Buck knew that Tommy didn’t really hide his sexuality as much as he didn’t advertise it. 

No one but Tommy knew about Buck. 

It didn’t feel like they were hiding anything, especially since they hadn’t even really put a label to what they were. Still, he could admit, if even just to himself, that part of his happiness was Tommy. 

They’d gone on another date just the day before. A picnic out at the park. Tommy had even brought a bag of peas for them to use to feed the ducks. The day had been nice and sunny and Tommy had actually let Buck pay for the sandwiches they picked up on the way there. 

They had watched clouds for a while, coming up with some ridiculous images out of them. One of the things that was entirely new for Buck — and there were a lot of new things — was the way that he found that there was nothing he could do that Tommy didn’t just go with, even being absolutely silly about clouds.

“Just a few more weeks and they think I can start training to recertify so I can get back to work,” Buck said. 

“Is that smart, to push yourself this quickly?” 

“I’m not pushing myself,” Buck said. They had talked this round and round too many times. 

Maddie hummed, but at least she dropped it. 

“And your date?” Maddie asked. 

“Date?” Buck asked, frowning at her.

“The night you made me come over to help you get dressed?” Maddie asked. “What happened with that? And don’t tell me it wasn’t a date.” 

Well, it hadn’t not been a date by the end of the night. Buck was still a little bit in disbelief that the night had gone that way. 

“I was hanging out with Tommy that night,” Buck said. Also not a lie. 

Buck could have told her. It was right there, ready for him to explain. He didn’t know what her reaction would be, but he knew that she would accept him and accept this new turning point in his life. There was really nothing for him to fear and yet he couldn’t get the words together. 

“He’s been spending a lot of time with you,” Maddie said. “You made a good friend there. Chim says some good things about him. I’ve hardly had to take you to your appointments with him around.” 

Buck took a breath. “Yeah. He’s pretty great.”

“He’s back at his station, now? The 217?” 

“Yeah,” Buck said. 

Buck couldn’t not tell her. It was Maddie and out of everyone in his life, she was one of the most important. 

“Hey, Maddie, what if…what if—”

“What, Evan?” 

This was way harder than it needed to be. Maddie was pulling into the parking lot. She turned to him as soon as she was parked. There was nothing to it. Buck had had plenty of time to really research it and decide what fit him best. That was one of the things that he and Tommy had talked about and while yes, bisexual described what fit best, it also had a good flag. He was never going to forget the way that Tommy looked at him when he said that. Buck had kissed him about it. 

“I think. No, I know. I’m bisexual, Maddie.”

Her eyes widened. She gasped. “I can’t say I saw that coming. Is this new or—”

As if Buck could have known that for any length of time and managed to keep it to himself. 

“It’s kinda new. I mean, I always checked out guys but I didn’t think it meant anything. I thought it was normal, but in my case it’s definitely more. Tommy…I guess he kind of turned my whole world around.”

“Oh,” Maddie said and she laughed. “Oh. That makes…wow. So it was a date! I just didn’t realize it was with Tommy.”

“It wasn’t…not until the end of it.” 

Maddie grinned at him. “Well, you have good taste,” she said, “and I should have known you’d be hopeless even with men” 

“Hey!” 

Buck knew he was blushing. Maddie hit his shoulder lightly. 

“Thanks for telling me.” 

“You’re the first one — well, other than Tommy.” 

“You really like him, don’t you?” 

“I — yeah, I really do. I think I might be falling for him.” 

[problemduetest4life]

what time-period accurate songs do you think Jeremy listens to in TSC? I want to know ALL of your thoughts on this

OKAY I'VE BEEN COOKING THIS UP FOR A FEW DAYS NOW

Like a Bird by Bell Fury Ado ofc

jk jk that song and My Prerogative by Britney Spears are Jean songs ONLY

Okay let's get into this...

Could You Be Loved by Bob Marley and the Wailers (1980)

Jeremy is a beach boy at the end of the day. I know he can surf, I know he can in my heart. I also think Bob Marley's music hits for him because a lot of it is about peace, love, and justice. When he drives to school from his family's house this is the music he listens to fix the good vibes for the day.

Disappear by Beyonce (2008)

Jeremy is a secret sad music enjoyer. I think this is a drive home song for him.

The more I think about it The less that I was able to share with you I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you You're nearly here And then you disappear 

pre-jerejean y'all, I know you see it

Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5 (2007)

Look at the end of the day Jeremy is a white boy in the early 2000's and he is allowed to be basic! Imagine he's driving to his families house at the end of the day, where he doesn't want to be, and he's just had a painful talk with Jean and he's just belting "It's not over tonight, Just give me one more chance to make it right, I may not make it through the night, I won't go home without you" DO YOU SEE THE VISION!?!?!?

I saw your post about the alt-rock angst for bad days and I wholeheartedly agree. This is more pining and less "big sad".

BUT IF WE'RE GOING TO DO DAD ROCK THEN WE HAVE TO DO SOME DIVORCED DAD ROCK

Lips Of An Angel by Hinder

This is a joke but also-

MY GIRLS IN THE NEXT ROOM SOMETIMES I WISH SHE WAS YOUUUU

Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield (2007)

I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! But when he's in a funk Cat plays this from the boombox and it always wins at least a smile out of him just because it's sooo dumb

His party music is Rihanna. Why? Because it's Rihanna. (Shut Up and Drive, Breaking Dishes & SOS to my specific) (2006&2007)

He also listens to Aaliyah because she's a queen. Like sexy Jeremy = Rock the Boat (2001). You heard it here first kids. Jeremy think's he's alone in the kitchen and is bussin it down and Jean walks in, has a whole 'nother sexuality crisis.

I truly imagine the Trojans going to bar that plays Ne-Yo, Sean Paul, Timbaland, Usher, Akon, T-Pain, Christina Aguilera, Jordin Sparks... I know they are menaces in the off-season. I promise you the student athletes with good reputations can be INSANE on the low

BUT FOR 90'S BOPS

I don't know why but I'm gravitating towards No Doubt. Spiderwebs and I'm Just A Girl. I can see him having a baby sitter who would listen to it and he would always want to listen to it as a kid and his parents were like "omg he must have a crush on her so cuteeee" but really he's just gay and has taste.

I think Jeremy would also be like the type of person to still be softly singing along to the music while being stressed out. Like he's texting about something important but under his breath he's like "get it calculated, do the math, made a thousand songs that make ya move ya ass"

I know the Trojan's lockerroom and lift playlists are deadly too

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, am really really interested to read your thoughts on Seven!

*

Ask 2: Hey bpp, can i be honest?? Ive been checked out of the fandom but still keep track of any music releases. So i didnt know abt any rumors abt 7. Imagine me being kind of disappointed that it’s another english song from jk when i watched the mv😅 it feels like his most promoted songs since last year has been all eng song… idk i wanted & expted something diff… i didnt like l&r, dreamers and now 7… it’s back to back lol. Tbf i didnt like My You too and thats in korean. At least not enough to listen!again after the first listen.

Im happy that still with you is finally on spotify tho. I’ll still be waiting excited for his album whenever it comes out. Hopefully ill find something i like in it!!

**

[BPP Note: Both asks above were sent before my "I don't like it..." post. The asks posted below were sent afterwards.]

**

Ask 3:

Same here

All the hype didn't matched with the song

1. rest members songs had so much depth and substance to it while this was the cliche boy chasing a girl song. Like we always dont need deep songs but the quality could be so much better. This was like just another pop song.

I think I'll put this on same level as BAD DECISIONS. But for bad decisions, atleast the chorus was staying on my mind while for this nothing was catchy enough for us to humm. Just because it's JK it will get hype but otherwise it's so generic. I think I liked LEFT and RIGHT way better than Seven. Even the rap portion felt so unnecessary and boring.

2. MV was kinda nice because of the production but concept was too shallow, the stalking and chasing was so outdated. In my country we have like 9293928843837 MVs in this same concept that not many make the same theme songs again.

3. The choreography. We haven't seen the full version. But for tiktok they do the highlight portions if that's so mediocre idk how rest will be. It was again giving the same mediocre showing off choreography and for me backdancers ruined it with their awkward moves.

4. they wanted this song to be played everywhere around the world. But there was nothing catchy enough to attract gp or go viral on tiktok, even if we sped it up. The only way to make everyone listen is to shove it down their throat but doing payola. But idk if investing in payola is worthy for the song. I also doubt the longietivity, as for me it was boring after 2 listens. I'll rather listen Like Crazy or wildflower or closer 20 times than listening this once.

5. I HOPE he'll bring something fresh to the table for his album and don't involve this mediocre producers who uses the same formula and same superstar persona to make a song successful. He is so much talented to sing a song which is so rich in melody and lyrics. And he can produce way better songs by himself.

Prolly a 4/10 for me

*

Ask 4: troye sivan's rush (which also came out last night) is exactly what I wish Seven was. I don't mean that in a 'I expect the things JK to make to be gay' way just in the way it's a fun, very danceable, sexy summer song that doesn't pull its punches. Something about seven feels too run through a commercial sanitizer a few times, even with the explicit lyrics.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Jungkook likes to fuck.

Rather, Andrew Watt likes to fuck and thinks Jungkook can relate.

JK has been talking about wanting to show more mature and explicit sides of himself for a good long while now. So I’m glad he’s finally gotten to do that, confirming for us why he keeps getting noise complaints from his neighbours since the mattresses all over his apartment don't help.

BTS has made songs explicitly referring to sex before (though it's been mostly the rapline doing so). So it's nothing new but I guess it's cool JK gets to share with us that he too has sex.

The question I posed to my friends immediately after watching the MV is, “Do you know who's been doing A&R for BigHit since 2020? I really need to know who is doing A&R for BigHit in America because they’ve been doing an appalling job lately. I'm starting to wonder if it's an inside job cause this song is kinda ass.”

That was me ~11 hours ago.

I didn’t like the song.

I’ve streamed Seven about 20 times since then I think, took a break from the song for a few hours, watched his GMA performance, caught a few minutes of the Wlive, then listened to it again just before writing this post and…

I still don’t like it.

Jungkook did a good job on the song, Latto's verse wasn't terrible, and while the song itself isn’t bad… the song isn’t good either.

It’s painfully, and at this point it’s a pattern so I have to add, predictably, mediocre.

Reserving judgement for the album, but Anons, I agree with you for the most part. The suits at BigHit are trying but they are woefully out of touch with the reasons BTS blew up in the West in the first place. I don't even feel like spending any energy doing a review or even trying to explain what I mean. So I'll just ramble on for a bit but try to keep it brief.

---

I have to give BigHit some credit because I can see what they're going for here. Andrew Watt is a very celebrated producer in the US, he won the Grammy award for Producer of the Year in 2021, he's got A listers in his portfolio. So, he's not a cheap name to book and I can see why the suits at BigHit thought he's the genius to gift them a song clinically designed for American radio.

But that pandejo phoned it in. There isn't a lick of creativity to be found anywhere in all 3 minutes and five seconds.

It reminds me of VIBE by Jimin and Taeyang, as the closest analog to the vague dissatisfaction morphing into annoyance and then pragmatic rationalization I experienced in that same sequence when listening to it the first few times.

The song is disappointing because we've all heard it before. Too many times, and we're bored of it. We've heard JK sing this sort of song for years, as covers mostly. So on one hand, while I guess it's nice JK gets to have an American summer JB-reject pop tune of his own, it's not good enough to be the track that introduces him to the world as a solo artist.

It's fine for any white, blonde, blue-eyed heartthrob that can ride on a pretty face and implicit bias to rack up accolades, it's not good enough for Jungkook.

And BigHit needs to start using whatever leverage a US$10.6 billion market capitalization buys you in Hollywood, to insist for songs that are at least as good as the songs made by BTS members and produced by their in-house team. It's a waste of money and everybody's time to fly a battalion to LA just to record 2014's summer hit in 2023.

In my opinion.

Still With You > Stay Alive > My Time > Stay > Left & Right > My You > Dreamers > Seven

*

All that said, I can't ignore JK has a taste for songs like this, and it's not his fault the song is shit (he didn't write, compose or produce it), so technically he shouldn't be punished for it. And the song is made for radio, while it's not my personal taste a lot of people really like the song (one of my friends likes Seven the most out of all the BTS releases so far), and it will catch on with some support. So, ARMY will support it including me, just to a lesser degree than I've done so far. Fingers crossed JJK1 has something solid on it.

[themightymoose]

Door-Jammed

wait a minute

*le-gasp*

I think I remember this :D

She is so obsessed with doorknobs 💀

Damn we got some beef

Sunil and Vinnie automatically assuming it's a werewolf

Now we got Mrs. Twombly in with the fantasies

At least she's being a good sport about it

Fisher is actually being a responsible father

I am so sorry I misjudged you sir

THEY KEEP TELEPORTING OUT OF NOWHERE

Blythe just leave those flyers out in the middle of the sidewalk who cares

"FISHER BISKIT!"

Blythe just willing to go for Mrs. Twombly's sake

She's such a good kid and for what

That is literally me when I hurt myself

Who makes those noises when they hurt themselves though

Sunil hugging Vinnie and Vinnie immediately getting out of his grip

And then Vinnie jumping on top of him

It's just Russell the littlest guy ever :)

Russell and Zoe playing cards

They are so domesticated

You guys are so stupid

Besties I think you guys are thinking of vampires

What kind of card game is this

No Zoe don't say that they're going to think it's you now

Russell you little bitch

"Yeah go interrogate Zoe actually I'm tired of your bullshit"

i love him

Russell and Zoe are just like, "These dumbasses."

Wait does Zoe think he's a werewolf now or is she just mad he made them think that she's a werewolf

Blythe being traumatized by the paintings and Mrs. Twombly just rolling with it

Those stupid little giggles >:/

Blythe assuming the Biskits don't know what a doorknob is

"My precious 👺👺👺👺👺 Fisher doesn't respect the knob 👺👺👺👺👺."

Mrs. Twombly debating with herself

It turns the true enemies... were with us all along 😔😔😔

Minka brushing Russell's spikes

Most pets have claws

Except for Vinnie I guess

"Hi, guys!" Why did that sound so robotic

Guys you're making everyone paranoid stop it

Then again why is everyone just taking their word as law

Pepper just like "what the fuck Penny I thought we were tight :("

This is getting annoying to listen to honestly

MINKA DIDN'T WANT TO GET A CONCUSSION GUYS IT'S NOT THAT DEEP

You guys are so stupid

I would die for them

Russell just leave they're a lost cause at this point

Oh no.... they're stuck in the bathroom together... who could've seen this coming...

(Me. I did)

So fucking dramatic

Huh

Uh oh

Guys that was her fucking stomach

A growl would be if it came from the throat

Idiots

Pepper hiding in the fire hydrant with her tail sticking out

Blythe is still trying to be nice

Patience of a saint honestly

Poor Roger

Get it king

*le-gasp* again

It's ✨T I M E✨

"He's straight." "He's gay." Okay???? He's been wolfified???? You better fly??? Cause there's no one here to save you???? And you cannot deny he's been wolfified???? Just say goodbye???? Cause there's no place left to run to???? There's no place left to hide????

They actually look really cool wolfified

What would Sunil and Vinnie look like

Vinnie is missing out on the cool designs smh

Wolfified? More like 💅yassified💅

Okay I get it Pepper has sharp fangs compared to everyone else

...

✍️✍️✍️

Just take a break to dance

I wish all horror movies were like that could you imagine

Just Michael Myers breaking it down

Russell why did you do that

So you don't like Blythe because Brittany doesn't like Blythe

This is gonna get erased in future episodes isn't it

They are bonding

This is really cute actually

The sudden cut to Brittany

I love how they actually really care about each other

Immediately assuming Blythe will cause psychological damage

So they stopped thinking each other is a werewolf and just thinks Russell is one now

My man did nothing wrong

Why is it just him????

Idiots part two

The utter betrayal on Brittany's face

NOT THE RECORD SCRATCH

Great now Blythe and Brittany BOTH feel betrayed

I love Blythe's and Mrs. Twombly's friendship

You all infested Blythe with your idiocy

Also they're still using garlic

Also Russell apparently believes the werewolf thing now

[bluepeachstudios]

GitS Asks!

It's all good ;P and no, not yet! He's been trying, especially with Ghost sleeping a lot more recently, but he has not yet succeeded. The problem is that Ghost can hear Don prepping the tagging gun.

Oh yeah. He regrets it a lot. Especially when Leo goes "well if you hadn't LEFT-" all dramatically. Leo's half-joking, but it really does just. Stab Ghost with guilt. He wishes he'd been strong enough to stay with them when they were younger. He could've helped Splinter a lot more, and they wouldn't have such abandonment issues now.

Ghost enjoys the absolute chaos coming from them even though he would never listen to this kind of music itself. Technically spoilers, but the boys don't actually tell Ghost that they're going to perform at Albeartoland. It's a very secret thing. Can you imagine the heart attack that man would have? It'd be insane.

He does. This is exactly why he printed out the pictures.

He's still a bit stubborn about it, but Ghost can get him to cave and admit fault pretty quickly.

Ghost has met them both! Dr. Delicate Touch he appreciates. It lets Mikey get out his anger, even though there's definitely kinder ways to put things, but Mikey generally pulls Dr. DT out when he's needed. Dr. Feelings, Ghost always gently puts his hands on his shoulders and tells him thank you for the reminders, but Mikey doesn't need to be the family therapist. He can help by being a little brother. Ghost will help them if they're having problems, as best he can, and they can talk about it as a family.

Mikey asks who's going to help Ghost with his problems, and Ghost just rubs his head and changes the subject.

Maybe one day Splinter accidentally leaves the manhole cover off as he's sneaking out for supplies. Maybe the kids followed him. Maybe Ghost is in the Hidden City, too far from his way home to get to them fast enough before they leave the safety net of his cameras.

He doesn't know what happened. He just knows that he finds only Mikey, hidden tucked away beneath a dumpster inside of his shell. Ghost pulls him out and coaxes him out and Mikey bawls and tells him that Leo and Raph and Donnie were taken by somebody.

Ghost takes Mikey back to the lair and is waiting there when Splinter arrives. There's a bit of panicking and yelling between the two. Splinter's scared Ghost has hurt his children, Ghost is angry at Splinter for being so careless. So begins Ghost's hunt.

Raph isn't easy to find, but he is the first purely because he's still on the surface. The EPF has him, and Ghost has been hunting for mentions of the EPF since he first saw youkai. He's never found any, but following what happened to the kids via camera shows Donnie and Leo being taken into the Hidden City while Raph was basically sold by a yokai in disguise to the EPF. It's been two months already.

Ghost doesn't use guns, but it's the first time he really thinks about it. Unlike usual, he has no plan. Instead, he goes in, mystic ability blazing out of pure rage and desperation. He finds Raph in a small cage, muzzled and whimpering in fear until he recognizes Ghost. Ghost gets the muzzle off, gets him out of there. Kills Bishop for good measure with Raph tucked into his cloak so he can't see.

He doesn't find Donnie for a year since they were grabbed. He doesn't have the power of technology in the Hidden City like he does above-ground. He gets him out of there. Leaves the Battle Nexus in ruins and Big Mama very dead.

Leo is with Draxum. Draxum is finding out he's terrible with kids. Leo is causing chaos wherever he goes. Draxum is fine with giving Leo back to be raised. He'll come back for him, though.

(I realized how long this was getting halfway through and went the more silly route with Leo fhgdkjfgdh)

Raph: may I present to you.... peepaw Brothers: cheering wildly Ghost: =.=

Surprise child you get gay depression instead!

These are fun thoughts fhgdkjfgh

Ah yes, approved and added fhgkdjf

Ghost can tell he's got self-worth issues. He doesn't approach it head-on, instead he's just trying to gentle push Leo in the right direction. He knows being a teenager is rough. Especially with how their lives are. But he also doesn't want Leo wallowing in that mindset for too long.

=================================

drainiandream asked:

It suddenly just hit me rereading chapter 27 that Ghost actually holds himself to a much higher standard than he does his own Splinter, even in hindsight. Like he always speaks about his own father in the highest esteem, and clearly doesn’t hold any blame or resentment toward him for “letting” them lose a good chunk of their childhoods to fighting otherworldly threats. Despite how much it clearly hurts him, he’s never entertained the idea that 03 Splinter was at fault for any of it (as he shouldn’t, tbh! 03 Splinter is fucking phenomenal in terms of parenting in any series with kid/teenaged heroes that have one present. I can’t actually think of another cartoon in general that had an informed parent in the loop that still did everything he could to protect them/wasn’t weirdly okay with child endangerment due to cartoon logic) And yet despite him clearly understanding this about his own father (or at the very least not allowing himself to look back critically on the people he’s lost), he clearly thinks he should be able to do better. The one unwavering thing about Ghost is his desire to keep the boys as just kids enjoying kid things. He’s still trying to hold onto that hope that he can do it even now, despite the piling warning signs that he’s in over his head (they all are). He blames himself when the kids worry about him or get into trouble he can’t prevent. Unfortunately for him, it’s a universal constant that the reason they become heroes/save the world is simply because they’re the only ones who can. It’s honestly a really interesting and potentially painful realization, if he ever has it. He resembles his father so much without even realizing it, and is going through the exact same emotional struggle 03 Splinter did during the series. Hell, it’s probably the one common ground (besides love for their sons) that he and Rise Splinter will have now as things get progressively more dangerous. I just. Man Ghost’s Splinter would be so proud of him today and no one in the Riseverse can even tell him that.

Ghost is incredibly hard on himself. He's depressed! He's got anxiety! Spending 24 years alone meant that all those bad thoughts were never interrupted. Everything negative he ever thought of himself was never interrupted, it just compounded on itself over and over until it was no longer a bad thought to him but the truth.

03 Splinter would be so proud of his son. He would be sad he never tried to reach out for company in a world where he could have (in the Hidden City) when they came from a world where they couldn't. He'd be sad that Ghost is torturing himself when it wasn't his fault.

Rise Splinter's the only one who could tell Ghost that his father would be proud of him, but coming from Splinter, it feels cruel. So Splinter says nothing, and Ghost continues to punish himself.

HEHEHEEE I'm glad you enjoyed it!! :D It's still so wild to me that people talk about GitS in real life. Or like. Not to me? Like this is a weird thought process I know but hear me out; the fact that people like something of mine enough to talk about it to their friends or partners or family is insane. Like. Holy shit. You're spending time and energy to talk about something that I spent time and energy making??? w i l d.

[purpleopossum]

I'm Tired

For a long time I've said that I don't need a coming out. That I'm bi, but I won't ever date a woman (because I want a more traditional path out of life), so accepting that is just for me. I came out to my mom and my sister. My mom was great, for a conservative woman of her age... my sister said "No you're not" and not only blamed my time attending a woman's college (did not make me gay. In fact I hardly knew what gay people were at that time in my life) but also said that gay people don't exist. All lesbians are just either traumatized or predatory. I dropped the subject, and didn't argue. So I went back into my closet, though I told myself that I wasn't, and stayed there. I didn't realize that a glass closet is still a closet, and it's not much space in which to make a life. I have now been "out," staring through the walls of my glass closet, for many years. I have told myself that I don't envy the others dancing in the sunshine, that I want a husband, and kids born the ordinary way. A little while ago I bought a necklace from wal-mart, a little crystal butterfly that wasn't purposeful pride merch, it just happens to be pink, blue, and purple. I thought it was a bit silly, after all I don't need anything to proclaim my sexuality, I know it... but wow. I get it now guys! I get the appeal of the merch! It isn't obvious, kind of a "stealth" pride flag but it feels so good to wear it, especially since I can wear it around my sister without her knowing what it means. It takes the edge off when she says something insanely homophobic. I was at a Dollar Tree and they had Pride socks. I bought all of them. It felt amazing when the butch manning the counter lit up, talking excitedly about how she had already gotten those socks for herself and as gifts for her friends. I am 27 now; I know my own mind. I have dated only two men in my life, and slept with neither for purity culture/waiting for marriage/don't want to get pregnant out of wedlock reasons. I have also realized that having kids is not something that particularly appeals to me. I like kids, I wouldn't mind adopting, but I don't think I want to be pregnant. I don't even know if I would be a good parent with my mental issues. This removes the main reason I was really only looking at men. And also... I just want to date a woman. I want to possibly marry a woman. I have barely seen a single good m/f relationship in my entire life. I am getting sicker and sicker of listening to my sister's homophobia in silence (I have said things. You cannot argue with her. She is right and you are wrong. This is law) The glass walls are clear, but stiflingly tight. I want to break free. I told my mom, the only person I am actually, really out to, that my bisexuality isn't hypothetical anymore, that I think I might actually want to pursue a gay relationship. She took it... okay. I'm kind of worried that it's straining her acceptance to imagine me actually bringing a woman home. I'm 27 now. I know my own mind. God has been very good to me, guiding me and pulling me down the road to where I need to be, even when I resisted. He gave me the time I needed to get my life together and figure everything out. I am very grateful for all He has done, and I know that I just have to trust Him for the rest of the journey. I want to be the person He intended for me to be, and that means living as my whole self. I don't want to lose my family; they are all I have ever had, but it is their choice if they harden their hearts once they can't ignore the truth any longer. Anyway, I'm going to my first Pride event on Saturday! I don't know how it will go; I'm a little worried that a festival environment might not be great for my Autism/ADHD, but I don't know where else to find people, and I'm really excited!! I'm ready to leave my chrysalis and dance in the sun. Wish me luck!!! Happy Pride <3

[magicalyaku]

Hey there! I'm back from writing paradise. I admit I might have gotten a little obsessed but that was just because writing is so easy and fun while everything else is always hard. u3u But I basically finished my novel so I have no excuses anymore not to get back into real life. Here's what I read in May! Pretty good month! uAu

Keeper of the Lost Cities 3: Everblaze (Shannon Messenger): The first one in the series I read instead of listening. Was a good choice because I think I missed quite a bit of the first volumes. 8D Also, it's so long. I don't think, me being me, that I would have made it though the audiobook. Don't get me wrong, I like the story. I have a tremendous respect at how it is written, keeping all the plotpoints together, presenting the puzzle pieces little by little, managing the huge cast of people. When I complain next time about a Middle Grade book being too simple and too shallow than this is the kind of book I'm comparing it to. My one problem in this volume was, how the tension never lets down. It's so wound tight all the time, everything is always on the edge of collapsing, including Sophie. It was a little exhausting for me. So I was very glad, there were at least some answers near the end.

The Scottish Boy (Alex de Campi): I went to Scotland at the beginning of May to visit my friend, so what better book to read than this. And what a book. It's the kind of story, where so much happens in the relationship of the protagonists that right after it ends you want to go back to the beginning and read all their first interactions all over again. Hng. It's great. Also Alys, my queen. When she first appeared I was so afraid she'd turn out evil. Because court intrigues and stuff. The ending of this book is all my heart desires. I don't actually like war stories, you know. But after In Memoriam and now this, they sure make good love stories. The drama of for once not knowing where it all goes? Who lives and who doesn't? Damn. I really enjoyed reading this book. The illustrations by Trungles are also verrry nice. uAub

Captive Prince (C.S. Pacat): This was a reread and I read the other two volumes in June, so my thoughts on the series will go there. :)

Wraith, Entity & Presence (Oracle of Senders 3,4 + 3.5) (Mere Joyce): It's so hard to tell my feelings for this series. There's a lot of death and murder, there's choking and burning and failed exorcism and so much danger of death and still it was just so pleasant to read, so charming and nice and laid-back. It's so weird. 8D I liked the cast of characters and the adventure and Cal's and Meander's relationship (the complete lack of gay panic and homophobic surroundings), the classical music references (even though I never looked up a single one). I wish there was a sequel with Cal and Meander as adults. I mean, I realise, it would be difficult to do in a classic novel format because the ghost cases just aren't big enough to last a whole book, but imagine it like a half-hour show oder manga series with a ghost of the week for half the chapter and their happy slice of life for the rest. Hah. Good series.

The Hanged Man & The Hourglass Throne (The Tarot Sequence 2+3) (K.D. Edwards): I didn't think about it while reading but in retrospective this series fits into what I categorise as "wild". There's so much shit happening here. Big and bold. At the end of volume 1 I was still undecided of I like it enough to buy it on paper. These doubts were washed away with the sequels. It's an investment in the beginning, getting into the world and all, but I found it totally worth it. That one big drama at the end of vol3? Yes, totally got me. Like right from the textbook. Make me care, rip me apart. Damn.

The Buried and the Bound (Rochelle Hassan): If someone asked me in a survey about what I want to read and then actually went and made it into a book, this might be the result. This contains only things I like: two suffering (gay) boys, one tough girl (not involved in any romance), which is the best constellation of characters, really. Some magic, some adventure, some drama, different storythreads that weave nicely together in the end. I enjoyed reading it a whole lot and am looking forward to the sequels!

Ander & Santi were here (Jonny Garza Villa): Now this one was difficult. I think it's a good book, I wanted to like it, but. Hear me out. For me, this is split in three parts. The first one is about the illegal immigrants. See, for as long as I remember my dad worked in a … what's it called in English … an housing complex for refugees? Not a camp, but like a dorm. And while illegals and refugees are still a step apart, they're at least somehow adjacent. I lived basically next to them half my life and never cared. When in 2015 there was a huge wave of refugees coming to my country and everyone was freaking out, I just thought "Great, that means my dad will keep his job" (because the dorm was always on the verge of closing down and it would probably been tough for my dad as one of very few black people in a kind of racist small town to find a new job.) So anyway, I thought it was a good thing to finally read an actual story about people in these situations, to learn how to care. So that part was good and insightful. The second part was about the art. I draw manga only, but I do consider myself an artist and I was around when manga became big in my country and the art schools hated it and made us suffer. I have thoughts on art. And I really enjoyed reading about Ander's art and process and thoughts. My favourite part of the book! And then there's part 3, the love story. And I think, because I connected more strongly to the other parts than usual I felt the disconnect here much more than usual! The romance in here is very intense and very physical and my aroace brain didn't compute at all. Complete detachment. Which was kind of a problem, because the romance is a huge part of the book. I really wanted to like it but it didn't work. I did like Ander as a character, though, and their family and friends. And the cover is still so damn pretty!

That's it!

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #27

27. CYPRUS Andrew Lambrou - "Break a broken heart" 12th place

Decade ranking: 88/116 [Above Ochmann, below Amanda Tenfjord] Hang on, left side on the scoreboard? 😕 If you say so...

And it was on Wednesday 20 December 2023 that BorisBubbles faced one of his greatest challenges yet. Figure out interesting things to write about Andrew Lambrou. What a thoroughly uninteresting journey it has been for Cyprus. Arguably one of the MOST uninteresting since i started blogging actually.

Even finding moments to gif was a struggle.

So to prep for this write-up I did the following:

1) Looked at my preshow review for an entry point, but turns out I bailed almost immediately on Andrew back then as well <3

2) Accused ChatGPT of writing Break a Broken Heart. Then when it denied involvement, interrogated it about AI songwriting bots and and forced it to snitch on them. THEY EXIST and the EBU hasn't banned their use yet so welp 2024/2025 will be rancid, I guess.

3) Listened to Break A Broken Heart (and honestly, I almost forgot this step altogether. I really wish I was joking right now.)

And all gave me ZERO inspiration 😁 We knew what we were in for the second the teaser dropped. That song ("what song?" -- my friend André), that result, that staging, to a tee. We knew Andrew was specifically cast by Cyprus to grab a qual and be there. (unless you buy into the stupidity that somebody saw "Electrify" and thought "THAT GUY! THAT ONE! HE'S GONNA WIN EUROVISION FOR US!!"). So he did, uncared for by all except for a few youtube comment bots pretending to be fit women. Nothing beyond the basest "imagination" was used to make Andrew or his song engaging. Even during "Electrify" you could somewhat enjoy him for being a dimwitted but benevolent beta male. "Break a broken heart" is so devoid of flavour it could have been performed by a hologram and it would have made the exact same impact. It sapped Andrew of any personality and texture he could have had. Impressively bland from head to tail.

EVEN AT THIS STAGE, MONTHS AFTER THE CONTEST my most salient Andrew memory is the twitter gays fawning over him cuz you know, Hot Guy From Australia, only to IMMEDIATELY forget about him when Marco sauntered over the stage with a rainbow banner during the flag parade. I don't even care about Marco but lmfao. Where Marco was the true gay-coded himbot the cigarettes yearned for at a time of total Kenmania, Andrew felt like the Bangladeshi sweatshop equivalent, a cheaper alternative outclassed on every front.

That said, I don't even DISLIKE "Break a broken heart" or Andrew. Like, how could you muster up emotion for that. Besides, there are worse songs to listen to, esp at the 2023 contest, and I would not press skip if this song snuck into an algorithm-generated Eurovision Mix playlist. Though that might just be because I would barely notice it was on there in the first place. 😬

THE RANKING

[innytoes]

3 sentence prompt! Bullriding au reggie ship of your choice! (Saw that vid you RBed and couldn’t resist)

(Listen this video is inspired and we all deserve to see Reggie doing it. Special thanks to @anotherfantom who created this AU in their tags and then let me spitball about it for a few hours.)

Reggie's move to the Big City hadn't really been planned. The plan had been to stay in town and help Meemaw and Pops on the farm and save up for college. But well, after he and the Johnson boy were caught making out in the Johnson's hayloft, it had been strongly suggested to Meemaw that maybe Reggie get out of town.

(He'd heard later that Johnny Johnson had sworn up and down it had been a one-time, drunken mistake. He'd enrolled in the army the next day, disappearing almost as fast as Reggie had. He wasn't sure what stung more: the denial of all the sweet words whispered in the dead of night, or the fact that Johnny was throwing his life away in the exact way he'd admitted to Reggie he'd been afraid of. And for what?)

He'd been so lonely those first weeks. Getting a low-paying job (or several) hadn't been particularly hard. He made enough to rent out some nice old lady's attic. She thought his 'yes ma'ams' and country accent were charming. And every week, after her Sunday dinner with her family, Reggie would come home from his late shift at the gas station to find a bunch of leftovers in the fridge with his name on it.

He actually found the place through his second job as a delivery driver. When he drove onto the street with all the rainbow flags, it felt like something of a dream. He was already making plans to go back as soon as he had a night off, but then he stepped in the door.

It was like something out of Reggie's dreams: a country themed gay bar. Wood floors, wood paneling, a big wooden bar with leather-covered stools. And in the middle of the room, opposite of a beautiful dance floor, was a giant mechanical bull.

With an incredibly attractive man, well, riding it. Slowly, sensually, rocking his hips in time with the movements of the bull and the music. And all Reggie could do was stand and gape, clutching the package in his hands.

"Can I help you?" A voice from behind the bar called. "We don't actually open until six..."

"Oh!" Reggie flinched. "Um, package for a Caleb Covington?" He turned to the bartender, who was also unfairly handsome. He had kind eyes and he looked very... firm under that denim shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and oh god, he was glad the bar didn't have many lights on, so maybe his blush wouldn't be so obvious.

The handsome bartender smiled and nodded over to the bull. "That's that show-off over there. Caleb! Package for you!" The man dismounted the bull in a fluent and mind-searingly hot move, and sauntered over. He looked Reggie up and down, and Reggie really wished the delivery uniform wasn't a pair of dorky shorts and a polo.

"I'll sign for that," Caleb said, and was Reggie just imagining it, or did it sound like he didn't mean the package?

So of course, after that, the second he had a night off, he went back. And again. And again, until he was recognised as a regular by all the other regulars. And of course, by Caleb and Ray.

His normal Wednesday night off was a pretty chill time at the bar. Which suited Reggie just fine, because when things were slow, Caleb wouldn't just do his scheduled show, he'd sometimes get on the bull just to show off.

And of course Reggie had to master the bull as well. He was pretty good at the fast settings they had, where the goal was to stay on as long as possible. He was actually number four on the board now, and he'd won a sparkly cowboy hat for making it into the top ten. But the slow setting... well, he was getting there. And it had lead to a lot of free drinks.

Except there were really only two people he really hoped would notice him. And they did. There were a lot of lingering looks and even some touches. Ray always let him in early, let him practice on the bull without paying, watched him with intense eyes from behind the bar. Caleb gave him all kinds of pointers, showing him how to move his body. That time Caleb joined him on the bull, Reggie nearly creamed his pants, it was so hot.

But neither of them made a move, and Reggie wasn't about to go wreck their marriage or anything. Flirting was one thing, but actually trying to kiss one of them? Ask them out? What if they got offended and said no? This place was the closest thing he had to home, to a community. He couldn't mess that up.

He was sulking his way through his third free coca-cola of the night (Ray was always very kind about telling people Reggie didn't drink, refusing to serve him anything he wasn't comfortable with. Instead of cocktails, he got a lot of free cokes, or sometimes even some bar nachos), watching Caleb on the mechanical bull, when another regular dropped a bombshell.

"What do you mean, wreck their marriage?" Fuego asked him. "Ray and Caleb aren't married. They dated like ten years ago, decided they'd be better off as friends, and that was that."

"But they-"

"Sound exactly like an old married couple?" Dante, Fuego's husband finished for him. Reggie nodded. Even when they bickered, there was an undercurrent of affection that reminded Reggie of his Meemaw and Pops. "Yeah, they actually sound more like a couple now than they did when they were actually dating."

"Sooo," Reggie said slowly. "You think I have a shot?"

"Kid, the only reason either of them haven't ravished you behind the bar is because you always leave before closing," Dante said, laughing when Fuego smacked his shoulder.

Oh. He did usually leave around midnight because he had an early shift the next day.

Maybe tomorrow he could call in sick.

He knocked back the last of his coke like it was a shot, squared his shoulder, and sauntered back up to the bull, waiting for it to turn the right way to hop on, wrapping his legs over Caleb's to keep hold. The man looked surprised, yeah, but his hands immediately settled on Reggie's hips, leaning forward to keep his balance.

"Hi," Reggie said, cheekily stealing Caleb's cowboy hat and putting it on. The answering smirk was enough to nearly make him fall off the bull.

"Hello," Caleb said, tugging him closer.

Oh, he was definitely staying until after closing tonight.

[kurlyfrasier]

4) Beskar Kisses & Firefly Wishes

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader Synopsis: Mando, Grogu, and yourself stop to enjoy the fireflies.

Warnings: Possible misuse of Mando’a, I suppose this one’s a bit angsty. No use of Y/n, if you like that. A/N: I’ve been looking forward to this one! :D Honestly, though, it went a bit different than I originally imagined. But I LIKE IT (: ENJOY! Disclaimer: I do not own Mandalorian/Star Wars anything.  Firefly Hill is my own. Word Count: 766 Mando’a:

~ Mesh’la (MAYSH-lah): Beautiful

~ Gedet’ye (Geh-DET-yay): Please

~ Ni dinu ner gai (Nee DEE-noo nair guy): Say my name. “Ni dinu” lit. “I give”

~  Tug’yc (Too-GEESH): Again

~ Vor entye (Vor-ENT-yay): Thank you. Lit. “I accept a debt” -There were a couple of different ways on the site to say Thanks; this one seemed like the best fit for the context. Seemed...more meaningful, I suppose.

Pronunciations found here.

Fragile, blinking lights were everywhere. Oblivious to the night’s chill, you raised your hands slowly, gently cupping them over the firefly before bringing it closer to make your wish.

On Naboo you had only heard stories about Firefly Hill. How they light up yellow when nobody’s made a wish, then change to a different color once the wish had been whispered to them. Blue if your wish will be granted. Red if it won’t. 

Standing on the hill now, eyes wide in amazement, you see the many blue and red and yellows blinking around you and your traveling companions. One silent as he watched Grogu in his arms coo and grab the bugs, only to munch on them with glee. A quiet giggle brewed up and out of your chest, head shaking at the little one’s antics as Mando tells him about the fireflies and how they’re special.

“Don’t eat them,” he gently chided, knowing it was a waste of breath. Sighing when the kid inevitably didn’t listen.

You looked away from the scene, thinking of how to word your wish to the little light in your hands. The stories never said how specific you had to be, or if your wish would come true that same day or years from that moment. Nor did it specify when the light on the bug would change.

You sighed, thinking yourself silly, but decided it was worth a shot anyway.

With a quick glance back at Mando to make sure he wasn’t watching you, turning your back to him so he wouldn’t see what you were doing once you saw all of his attention was on his son, you made your wish.

“Who is the Mandalorian that wears unpainted beskar,” you whispered into your hands, uncupping them to let the firefly free.

You watched it fly away, waiting a beat to see if it would change color.

And another.

And another.

An excited squeal had you spinning to find Grogu running through the long grass towards you, ears barely visible as the fireflies flew out of his way. The twinkling lights had a smile spreading so wide your cheeks hurt. The sight looking like colorful stars decided to come down for a visit. To make this place twinkle with their beauty. 

Grogu tugged on your pant leg, looking up at you with large, pleading eyes and you lifted him into your arms, allowing him to cuddle into your warmth. A yawn escaped and his ears drooped as those dark eyes fought to stay open. 

Looking up, you found Mando making his way to you, the firefly lights reflecting off his armor, making him twinkle like a constellation himself. A dangerous warrior in the sky, like what the fallen warriors in Manda must look like. A story you’ve overheard Mando tell Grogu late into the night when he refused to sleep. 

A sudden jolt made its way down your spine and your heart picked up with each determined step he made. Purposeful and strong. The T-visor never faltering from your daring gaze.

Suddenly he was before you, so close the beskar burned. Your head tilted up to meet his visor’s gaze and time stopped. It was just you and him and the sleeping baby in your arms, all thoughts of fireflies and wishes vanished from your mind. Your breath hitched when his helmet gently fell against your forehead. Warm, gloved hands brushed up your arms, making you shiver, and settled heavily on your shoulders, tugging you closer. 

“Mesh’la,” your heart raced, never before hearing such reverence attached to yourself.. “Gedet’ye,” he seemed to beg, voice rough and pleading. “Ni dinu ner gai.”

DIn Djarin, a voice whispered in your mind before Mando could translate. Din Djarin, it repeated, a little louder that time. Din Djarin, Din Djarin, Din Djarin. It screamed- begged as a sharp pain stabbed your temples and you knew- you knew- the only way to free yourself of it was to say the words, recognizing it as a name. His name.

“Din Djarin,” you said as though you’ve known it your entire life, the sharp pain gone as sudden as it appeared.

“Tug’yc,” the warrior before you fell to his knees, strong hands gliding down to your hips, helmet resting on your stomach. “Gedet’ye,” his voice broke and tears blurred your vision. “Tug’yc.”

“Din Djarin,” you said again, somehow knowing he asked you to say it again as he held you steady in a bruising grip, Grogu snoring softly in your arms.

“Vor entye,” the words barely made it out of his modulator, so quiet they were, and thought maybe your firefly wish really did come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Secret Tidbit: so I really wanted to add in the end that all the fireflies turned blue when they left, but it didn’t seem to fit quite right :( So there’s a little secret tidbit for you (: lol

Mando’a:

~ Mesh’la (MAYSH-lah): Beautiful

~ Gedet’ye (Geh-DET-yay): Please

~ Ni dinu ner gai (Nee DEE-noo nair guy): Say my name. “Ni dinu” lit. “I give”

~  Tug’yc (Too-GEESH): Again

~ Vor entye (Vor-ENT-yay): Thank you. Lit. “I accept a debt” -There were a couple of different ways on the site to say Thanks; this one seemed like the best fit for the context. Seemed...more meaningful, I suppose.

Mando’a words and pronunciations found here. 

Enjoyed this? Please don’t hesitate to check out more here!

TAGLIST (hopefully this works):  @againstacecilia​ 

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

I’m a literature lesbian so of course, I’m relating ivy by Taylor to Henry POV.

How's one to know?

Henry could have never imagined he would ever have a relationship with Alex.

I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones

In a faith forgotten land

I believe than that’s a metaphor for cemetery, but given than Alex and Henry didn’t see each other in cemeteries, we can find other meaning.

It can mean somewhere away from the palace. The spirit (Henry’s spirit) never meet his bones, because meanwhile he wants to do things, his body isn’t allowed to actually do them (in the palace). In a faith forgotten land where his spirit meets his bones is somewhere far from the responsibilities, like the White House, or the lake house, or a random hotel or anywhere.

“Faith forgotten” faith regarding god and the belief than god hated them for being gay. After all, the royal family is religious. English isn’t my first language so when I used to listen to the song I heard “fate” instead of “faith” which fits a lot more. Henry’s fate of marrying a woman and be closeted forever. Fate forgotten land, somewhere where he can forget about that and just be with Alex.

In from the snow

Their first kiss in the gardens, in December, in the snow.

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow

Tarnished but so grand

After sleeping together in February (for the first time)

Tarnished because Alex insisted they were “friends with blowjobs”. Alex ignored his own feelings and made Henry believe than those were his real feelings.

“Tarnished but so grand.” His feelings might have been different to Henry’s, but he had Alex’s body against his, and his lips on his, and that was enough.

And the old widow goes to the stone every day

But I don't, I just sit here and wait

Grieving for the living

“The old widow goes to the stone every day” I see as people who were hurt just like him (because let’s be honest, Alex saying than their relationship was purely sexual and platonic definitely hurt him) trying to get better, to go to the stone every day, to heal.

Henry just sat there and waited, didn’t try to get over his feelings, to heal, to pull away. He just grieved for the living.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Alex took care of Henry, he saw Henry with his depression and he didn’t run away, he stayed.

“Freezing hand” Alex was also hurting (his mental health, as we see in the book, was bad) and they helped each other. Alex took Henry’s pain into his freezing hand, and because of that, Henry warmed him (when you grab hands with other person, you pass body heat).

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Several meanings.

1- Henry believing than Alex would eventually pull away and leave him because he will find someone better, someone who would love him the way he deserved to be loved, someone who deserved to be loved by him.

2- Henry’s fate of marrying a woman in the future, against his wishes.

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

So much here.

1-Henry longing for Alex, Alex putting roots in his dreamland (should I tell you than when we’re apart…), seeing him in dreams. In daydreams,in hopes.

2-When Ivy grows on a house, there’s a certain point where the Ivy damages the house. It can damage the bricks and foundations (and walls). Henry loving Alex, loving him and hoping and yearning after him, even though it hurts. It hurts him because he thought there would never be a change of boing loved back or even if he was, than they could never be together (for his status). I also mentioned than Ivy damages the walls. I wish there weren’t a wall. I already made another post about the several walls Henry referred too, but i feel like this one could mean the walls Henry had up. Walls he used to protect himself, the truth of him being behind those walls, unseen, yet Alex breaking down those walls. Making Henry be able to let himself be vulnerable around him.

I wish to know

The fatal flaw that makes you long to be

Magnificently cursed

Curse: “a prayer or invocation for harm or injury to come upon one.” I feel like this could be Alex in Kensington, saying than they could find a way to be together, than they could do it. Alex stayed there, he flew an ocean just to tell Henry that. In Kensington (but before the morning after) Henry didn’t understand why he did that. Couldn’t he see it would all end up wrong? Henry wasn’t made to be loved. Henry was made to follow the rules written ahead of him, to continue the bloodline. He was meant to smile at cameras and be miserable, not to be in love and be loved back.

He was a prince, it could never work. Alex was only hurting himself by believing that.

Aside from his position, there was his whole self. Why would Alex love him? What was there of him to love? Henry had depression, he had bad days, days where he couldn’t even shower but it just was too much. Henry was an overthinker, someone who could only talk through paper, words only came out of him when written down, he didn’t know how to talk. He didn’t know how to communicate his feelings without writing them down. And Alex, Alex who talked a lot, Alex who’s brain always had a story he wanted Henry to know, how could Alex want to be with someone like him? Being with Henry could only hurt him. Henry couldn’t let that happen. Alex was the sun, Henry was a black hole. He couldn’t let himself drown out Alex’s light with his darkness.

He's in the room

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

He wants what's only yours

Change “he” with “she” and this could perfectly talk about Henry’s fake dates with women.

(To be more specific, the woman he went in a fake date in January after kissing Alex in new year’s).

Clover blooms in the fields

Clover is associated with luck. The fields could be their relationship, their surroundings.

Ellen won, they were out and accepted (even if they were outed), they were moving to New York, Henry’s shelters, June’s book, Philip trying, Catherine healing.

Spring breaks loose, the time is near

What would he do if he found us out?

Crescent moon, coast is clear

“What would he do if he founds us out?” That one is obvious.

“Coast is clear” checking to see if there’s someone around, because people can’t know.

Spring breaks loose, but so does fear

They started their “friends with benefits” thing in February, by March (spring) they were together. Paris happened, the e-mails happened, the karaoke happened, all in spring (not only March, just spring). Were they dating? Was Henry just hoping? Henry was scared, scared of misunderstanding Alex’s signals and scared of being caught.

He's gonna burn this house to the ground

That’s following “what would he do if he found us out”. The description of the ambience surrounding them was to let the reader/listener have an idea of what was happening. It also mixed the description of the world surrounding them at that moment (crescent moon, springs breaks loose) with their own feelings (coast is clear, but so does fear.)

“He’s gonna burn this house to the ground” House. “My house of stone, your ivy grows” This could perfectly mean Henry or their relationship. If they were found out the house would be burnt down. Being found out by Richards made their house be burnt down (the e-mails leaked). Being found out by Mary (and like, the whole world, but we’re talking about Mary rn) burnt Henry’s house down. Being found out by Richard’s hurt them both, but Mary only hurt Henry. She only had the power to hurt Henry, after manipulating him for so long. She only burnt him down.

How's one to know?

Henry from last year could have never imagined that happening. Henry from last year never imagined he would be dating/hooking up with Alex.

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

On begged and borrowed time

This one is pretty obvious, but

“Live and die” Henry’s alone moments with Alex killed him yet they made him feel alive. Henry thought Alex didn’t love him, than those moments meant the world to Henry and nothing to Alex, they killed him, yet Alex’s touch on his skin brought him back to life each time.

So tell me to run

Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

asdfghjkljljlkgjl

I have so many Henry feelings regarding this line omg.

“Run”

Run has different meanings here.

1-Run as in run away from Alex (lake house).

2-Run as in run away with Alex (brownstone).

In the first, he ran away from him and his feelings, believing it was for the better.

“Watch what we’ll become” With their statuses and the secrecy and all than Henry was, it would never have ended well anyway. It was better if Henry just left beforehand, trying to save Alex from entering the mess than was Henry’s life.

In the second, run away with him to New York, to live together. He ran away from the palace, from the abuse.

“Watch what we’ll become” (again, but now regarding the second meaning of run) if Henry didn’t ran away, and stayed in the palace, even if they were out, it might have been too complicated too. Henry would be stuck with a royal life he didn’t want, and by addition,Alex would also be stuck with a royal life he didn’t want. Only by running away Henry could find freedom.

“Dare” this could also be Kensington Alex and Henry. Alex daring to continue their relationship, even if Henry was scared and convinced it could never be. “You’re brave, I could use some of that” Henry ran, and Alex dared to follow, and even if Henry told him to leave that night (watch what we’ll become) he would have dared to sit and watch it happen.

And drink my husband's wine

This could be Henry being scared than Alex being with him made him began to live a (royal) life he didn’t want. “Drink my husband’s wine” Live my family’s life.

So yeah, it's a fire

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark

And you started it

You started it

Alex’s emotions being related to fire (I made a whole post about the symbolism of fire and water in Alex and Henry’s relationship)

A blaze in the dark. A light in the dark. Their relationship/Alex being a light in Henry’s life.

So yeah, it's a war

It's the goddamn fight of my life

And you started it

You started it

This one is pretty obvious too